#also I love the idea of these learned stories in regards to treating everyone kindly with hospitality

[sukunasdirtylaugh]

Idea inspired by this art!

tags: sorcerer!Gojo Satoru x f!reader, au is kind of medieval, mentions of men grabbing reader out of home, burning at the stake, reader is mistaken as a witch but she is a prophetess, it’s giving castlevania x howls moving castle vibes, Satoru is a bit cocky but we love him (might do a pt 2?)

There’s a nice cottage outside the city, 15 minutes away by foot, you live in a home with your mother and brother (your father actually passed from a brutal cold three years ago, leaving you to tend to the home and seek work). It started off as a necessity, advising the horse racing, chicken fighting gamblers on what animal to place your bets on. your reply? intuition. that chicken has sturdy legs, that horse has agile movements. excuses that granted you money for the time being, for your gifts. an ability passed down by the women of your family though yours outweighed the abilities of your mother, so you remained unadvised. using your intuition to get by the day.

Word gets around that a young lady such as yourself is not married. 19, 20, 21, and now 22– you’re questioned behind your back by your neighbors at how you could possibly remain unmarried. It had been 6 months since men started disappearing in your route by your home, reportedly last seen by the lake not far from your home.

You had been labeled as an unmarried bloodsucking siren, a cursed demon who takes the bodies of young men, and although all that is false, it does not help your case that you’ve remained indoors most of your life and the fact that you’ve advised others in the world of gambling.

You were a sinner, sentenced by the court, but before that happened, a large storm broke 7 days before the fated event.

It was windy, dark, and rainy that your mother had frantically put everything away. “I’ll get the lights from the back shed!” you called, putting on a coat, a second for safe measures. the rain pours hard that it overcomes the splish splash sounds of your feet. When you’re walking towards the fence to the main road, and into the back of your home, you catch a man. wet, crouched, and seemingly pained from all the walking he did. the nearest town by foot was over an hour away, and waking in this weather surely meant he could catch a cold.

“I am sorry to burden you, miss...” the voice calls, head hooded from your eyes, “but is there any shelter I can rest for the night? I... I don’t have any-“

“It’s fine,” you speak, soft and understanding before you pull him gently by the arm, “come follow me,” and you lead him to your shed, making a bed of hay for him before you’ve taken your first coat and placed it over the hay for him to use as a blanket or mattress. the man behind you stands silent as you pull out to light a candle for him, turning to him, “it’s not much,” you say, “but you can stay here. It’s better than spending the night outside, right?” with not another word, you hand him the candle and grab the supplies you were originally here for. “stay here, I’ll be right back.” you direct softly, shortly before leaving the shed. at home, you take out a bowl and serve some leftover stew and some bread that you would have eaten in the morning, opting to give it to someone who could have needed it more than you.

“there’s some stew in here,” you say, handing the man a bowl and bread with your other hand. it’s at this moment you notice how unbelievably pale his hands are, almost like the statues outside the cathedrals. it almost leaves you speechless, and he notes. “Thank you, miss...?”

you give him your name without much thought. finishing your arrangements in the shed before you turn to him. “feel free to stay the night, or until the rain has settled. whatever will facilitate your journey, sir...?”

“Go-“ suddenly, he’s surprised that his bread has slipped past his fingers until you’re on your knees picking it up quicker than he can. It isn’t until you look up that your eyes meet his, a breathtakingly striking pair of azure eyes, bluer than any water or sky you’ve dreamed of, it leaves you silent. “Thank you,” he whispers softly, and the sound of his ragged voice reminds you where and what you’re doing. suddenly shy and remembering you’re a maiden, you’re quickly at your feet wishing him a Goodnight without another word, closing the door behind you.

He’s gone the next morning.

Several days pass and the talk of you around town grow more and more. you’ve asked your mother to keep your brother inside so as to protect him, but on the evening of the 7th day you’re harshly pulled from your home, leaving your mother with teary eyes as you’re feeling like the life out of you is being squeezed out with the way so many men manhandle you. pulling you, shoving you, shouting insults, you’re suddenly the main talk of the town as they expose you on the streets calling you horrible names: whore, slut, demon, murderer, and more. the names don’t cut as deep as the memory of being pulled away from your home.

“Burn the witch!” Cry out many, and you’re roughly shoved against a stake before rope is tied around your midsection, burning roughly against your soft skin it hurts. the town mayor gives a speech, then the priest calls your execution necessary for the good of humanity, blaming you for the deaths of over 12 men in a 6 month course. mother’s shout at you and men renounce your existence as worse than satan himself.

everyone wants you dead. and suddenly, the fire runs around you.

“God,” you call out, “please let these people see past their mistakes! you of all people know I didn’t do anything! please save my mother and brother from this fate! please spare their eyes from this shame, this torment they will carry- and please make my end as quick as possible so that I can look after them.” a long moment passes as your head is now dropped low, not long before you hear a chuckle.

“Well, that’s certainly not the type of monologue I’d expect from you.” calls a voice. he tilts your chin up to face him after your silence. you don’t know if you’re hallucinating, the fire is bound to burn you any second and your lungs burn. in front of you stands a man. tall, handsome, and pale. white hair and pink lips like the kind you’d see in paintings. and his eyes? they strike a familiarity you’ve seen before.

the man before you grins, and you can’t help but put your whole faith, even your idea of god on him as he looks at you with such admiration.

“So you’re the girl they call a witch, huh?”

amusement crosses his eyes. and yet again they are breathtaking, finer than any blue mosaic you’ve seen. possibly holier than any church you’ve stepped foot in.

“I’m not a witch, I... I’m a visionary,” you reply, trying not to grow dizzy from the fire around you. when you turn to look elsewhere, no one seems to acknowledge the man in front of you. were you hallucinating?

“So you’re another one of the freaks, huh?” He says, eyes laced with interest. “That’s why they have you here. even when you didn’t murder all those men.”

“I didn’t,” your coughing takes him by surprise and he remembers how sensitive humans can be, “I... I didn’t hurt anyone,”

“I believe you,” he says, lowly. “Tell you what. I’ll save you from this fire, and in return you can help me find out what on earth became of these men. put an end to this. deal?”

you nod, not remembering what happens moments later as the man wraps you in his arms, making you drown into a deep sleep before he kisses the crown of your head. the fire erupts and sparks behind you both as you both rise like shooting stats, terrifying the townspeople behind.

“From now on, you’ll live a life free of torment,” whispers the sorcerer, bringing you into the comfort of his cave.

#holy shit what the fuck did I just write #this feels like a mix of castlevania and also howls moving castle #ughhh #this gojo will be my weak spot #also I love the idea of these learned stories in regards to treating everyone kindly with hospitality #reminds me of beauty and the beast #Anyways will probably do a part two #gojo #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #gojo satoru headcanons #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x oc #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen satoru gojo #Satoru #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x female reader

[bigwhispersbluebird]

Intro: Singularity

Intro: Singularity, like its name, introduces the theme of the 2018 album, Love Yourself: Tear which follows the album Love Yourself: Her.

Written by RM and Charlie J. Perry, performed by V, this song is in my eyes, the epitome of what RM can do with his words. Before I even begin, I would like to summarize what I have learned about his writing style through my intense study of his work. He is very careful with his words. Unlike other members of his group, which have very different (yet incredible) styles of writing, RM writes like his words are alive, like they can hold a hundred different meanings and can be dressed however the listener likes. It is like he does not even belong to this era, I swear you can ask anyone to read the lyrics he writes and they will not be able to link it to a man of this age. He is eloquent and educated in his thoughts. He references books, mythology and writes like he is more than one person.

Which brings me to my next point. RM wrote this song for V and in and out, this song is V’s. What do I mean by that? That is something I’ll highlight as I go through the lyrics. So, let’s start.

The title of the song is ‘Singularity’ which can mean ‘being one or alone’. There is a mathematical interpretation as well which simply identifies it as a point where a function ceases to exist or takes an undefined value.

(Please note: I’ll make references to V’s solo song released before this which was Stigma. I’ll soon write its interpretation as well but for the sake of referencing I’ll mention that V talks about being punished for something recurrently in it.)

This song in essence introduces two sides of a person. One is hidden, as if behind glass or a mask, and another is the one that everyone sees. These two sides are described here as two different humans. One is what V knows and what we see of him. Another is hidden and even V forgets his existence. I believe that the hidden V is whom we heard Stigma from; dark, scared and regretful. I’ll refer to him as Taehyung for the sake of differentiation (please remember to separate that art from the artist; these are just two characters used to describe the idea that the song presents).

무언가 깨지는 소리 A sound of something breaking

난 문득 잠에서 깨 I suddenly wake up from sleep

낯설음 가득한 소리 A sound full of unfamiliarity

귀를 막아보지만 I cover my ears

잠에 들지 못해 but I can’t fall asleep

V feels like this is not his first life or his complete self. Like dreams or memories, he hears ‘something breaking’ which worries him because he does not relate it to anything. This gives the idea of him forgetting the existence of Taehyung. 

목이 자꾸 아파와 My throat gets sorer

감싸보려 하지만 I try to wrap it

나에겐 목소리가 없어 but I don’t have a voice

오늘도 그 소리를 들어 I hear that sound today, yet again

His throat hurts and his voice is gone like when you have been screaming a lot or stressing your voice. But he does not remember doing it. However, someone else is screaming and he hears it, not recognizing it.

또 울리고 있어 그 소리가 It’s ringing again, that sound

이 얼어붙은 호수에 또 금이 가 A crack on this frozen lake, yet again

그 호수에 내가 날 버렸잖아 You know I threw myself in that lake

내 목소릴 널 위해 묻었잖아 You know I buried my voice for you

I consider this as what he heard the voice say, as aforementioned. The voice, which belongs to Taehyung, talks about falling into a frozen lake and hiding because of ‘you’. As V is the one who is hearing this voice, I consider ‘you’ to be referring to him. For the sake of a public persona or a persona he wants to represent, Taehyung has tried to kill himself - the killing part comes from being in a frozen lake. As frozen is supposed to signify being paused or cold or even alone.

날 버린 겨울 호수 위로 On the winter lake I threw myself in

두꺼운 얼음이 얼었네 a thick ice has formed

잠시 들어간 꿈 속에도 Even in the dream I briefly went into

나를 괴롭히는 환상통은 여전해 the phantom pain that tortures me remains still

Back to V, he repeats what he just heard like we do normally when realizing something or while interpreting something until it has meaning. He would want to consider the conversation he had as just a dream but now he can feel the pain of being in the frozen lake because even though he tried to forget Taehyung, they are still the same person.

나는 날 잃은 걸까 Have I lost myself

아니 널 얻은 걸까 or have I gained you

나 문득 호수로 달려가 I suddenly run to the lake

오 그 속에 내 얼굴 있어 Oh, in the lake there is my face

He wonders what it all even means and whether this realization is even worth something. To check if whatever he feels is real, he goes to the lake that Taehyung mentioned and sees himself in it. This, in true RM fashion, references Narcissus, a Greek mythology character that falls in love with his own reflection in the water and dies of thirst rather than drinking the water because he was afraid that touching it would make his newfound lover disappear. Narcissus is often seen as a character that was vain and self absorbed. But here I consider it as someone who admires the mask he is wearing. V likes who he is as V (also symbolized using the ‘LOVED’ earring he is seen wearing in the video), not Taehyung or he thinks Taehyung is not someone that should be seen in his authenticity.

부탁해 아무 말도 하지마 I beg you, please, don’t say any word

입을 막으려 손을 뻗어보지만 I reach my hand to cover the mouth,

결국엔 언젠가 봄이 와 but, eventually, someday, spring will come,

얼음들은 녹아내려 흘러 가 and the ice will melt and flow away

The first line is said by V and the rest are from Taehyung’s perspective. V knows Taehyung, remembers him but also knows why he was hidden in the first place. The Taehyung of Stigma who wanted to reveal whatever he had done and wanted to be punished for it should stay quiet or else V’s cover will be blown which he is scared of. But Taehyung knows that this won’t last long. How long can he be hidden? Circumstances will reveal him and his truth in due time and that will be spring for him; a day of freedom.

Tell me 내 목소리가 가짜라면 Tell me, if my voice is fake,

날 버리지 말았어야 했는지 should I have not thrown myself away

Tell me 고통조차 가짜라면 Tell me, if even the pain is fake,

그 때 내가 무얼 해야 했는지 what should I have done then

V knows now and wonders if he can fool himself now or even fool others now that he knows what is hidden about him. But he remembers the reasons which made him hide and they are as real as ever. He still does not think that Taehyung is lovable or even acceptable to people.

To summarize, I would not say that this is about BTS themselves. They have shared multiple times that their personas that we see are who they are in reality but of course there are narratives that are not public and thoughts that are too dark to be shared as idols or celebrities. So taking a more general approach to understand the concept of this song, which also relates to BTS and to everyone of us in one way or another, is how we hide ourselves. Whether it be to please a lover or to fit in somewhere, we tend to hide certain parts of ourselves but when we are alone, we cannot help but acknowledge who we really are and that thought and idea haunts us.

Now, remember how V has at different times used Singularity to describe himself? How I mentioned that it is his song through and through? I have a theory and it goes something like this: we all know that Stigma has a meaning that has not been revealed. RM in his live said that it is V’s story and he will share it if he wants. Now, I really believe that V struggles with that - that he is torn about his past. That there are thoughts that he has that he has only kept to himself and does not want to bring forth. He considers himself as alone in that regard but mostly he considers himself ‘undefined’, someone he does not even know himself, yet.

Please remember, these are just my thoughts and my interpretation. I can be way off the mark. So, kindly, treat it as such. And keep showing love to the masterpiece that Intro: Singularity is.

Translations from https://doolsetbangtan.wordpress.com/2018/06/01/intro-singularity/

#bts #btslyrics #bts lyrics #kim namjoon #namjoon #rm #min suga #yoongi #suga #v #taehyung #kim taehyung #taetate #jhope #hoseok #jin #seokjin #jimin #jungkook #singularity #bts songs #meaning #interpretation

[siarven]

2019 Recap + 2020 Goals

Soo.... 2020 here we come--Happy New Year everyone! <3 I hope it’s a good year for us all and the world we live in, and that it treats all of us more kindly than the last one did :’)

I haven’t really been very active on here the past few weeks (the holidays were great but also filled with lots of things) and I’m 50 tags behind, according to my emails x) I’ll do my best to catch up! So, for 2020 I’ll try to be a bit more active and share more things and stuff like that. I’ve never done a post like this despite existing on tumblr (in some form or another) since a few days before the mishapocalypse XD those were... days XD So this is my first step in that direction :D

Lots of things happened last year! 

1. As Dreams Collide & (Camps) NaNoWriMo

Dreams became a trilogy! Those are temp covers, but they were still a lot of fun to make XD ... back in april. Forgot to upload them x)

I finished the second draft of Dreams in January, and then proceeded to spend the rest of the year figuring out more of my worldbuilding, adding Elinor as a POV character with a new subplot, and changing some other major things about the story and characters :3 So even those who read Draft Two will probably be surprised by some of the changes :D

I also started writing the Draft Three during November/NaNoWriMo, and finally figured out how the new subplot and Elinor’s involvement would shift the events of the story! And I wrote 35k of words that I still like! Which I’ve edited a bit, sure, but I still like them. (We won’t talk about the rest of the 126k, they’re trash xD but they helped in figuring things out, so that’s ok)

My plan for 2020 is to finish Draft Three and get Dreams to a point where I can start editing instead of rewriting (and throwing it at everyone who wants to give me some feedback) <3

2. Hope Beyond & Inktober

I also participated successfully in Inktober last year! And actually managed to make art on all days for all prompts!! IN INK!!! Despite there being a conference to attend!! I never managed to actually do that before, even though I tried two times, and I also wrote short stories for some of the art! :’) I love Hope Beyond so much, ahhhhh :’)

And the best thing about it was that I developed my newest WIP through inktober, and that its characters have truly become people in my mind, and that there are so many wonderful creatures I didn’t know of before <333 I doubt I’d have had all of these ideas without it :D

My goal for 2020 is to make a detailed outline for Hope Beyond, and to create concept art of the characters, creatures, and locations! And, most importantly, to find the style for the comic aspect, and to get Hope Beyond to the point where I can seriously start making/publishing it in 2021. My plan regarding the publishing is to do so weekly on wordpress and tumblr @hopebeyond :) Which is why I will need a good plan beforehands :D

Also, if you want to see the inktobers properly (and read the short stories!), here’s my inktober tag <3 

3. My art

I know I used that pic in the inktober collage, too, but it’s just one of my fave artworks from last year and this is my post so :’)

Art-wise, I did a lot of things last year, even if it was less than I wanted. Not sure how much progress I made, but there must’ve been some ;D

I also graduated from uni! Post-graduate life is scary but despite all my various crises I am probably going to figure things out. :’) life only goes forward, after all. 

I have a ton of art-goals for this year! 

First of all, I am going to try to participate in a procreate art challenge called Making Art Everyday by Lisa Bardot and it will probably kill me but I hope I’ll also learn a lot. And that’s another thing! After a year of not getting along with it, I have finally tamed procreate. :’) There’s a lot of art I did over the holidays, in various mediums, and I can’t wait to show you! 

The biggest thing will be to make a proper concept and illustration portfolio, and I’m going to combine that with my hope beyond things, so I hope I can show you all of that during the coming months :3

Also, I think I am now going to actually use that art collection tumblr I made a while back, and upload art from there, so it’s easier to find. Not sure if it’ll make a difference but we’ll see :) It’s @siarvenart ! Hope to see you there, too <3

As for the decade... 

That’s my art progress from 2009-2019! I came pretty far, I should say :D And I took a detour over realistically copying portraits/animals with pencil on my way to draw things from the imagination again, I guess :’) Still shocked at the pencil things I did, back between 2013-2014. That captain jack sparrow one was january 2013 and the dean winchester one in summer 2014, after I’d graduated from school... quite a skill-leap. But then again, what else can you do when school is boring but spend 10-20 hours drawing portraits xD

I’m glad I’m now firmly in the “draw your own thing instead of copying photos” area (since end of 2015, I guess) but it’s a lot of work and I wish younger me had sat down and learned the basics like perspective and anatomy because then I wouldn’t have to learn all of that stuff now XD 

Practise does pay off :) this call-out is directed @me, specifically, but also everyone else who needs the reminder

I’m tagging some mutuals and friends below the cut <3 Thanks for all of your support <333 It means a lot :’)

I guess I will now try to catch up to the things I got tagged in over the past month. :’D

@wilde-writing | @madmoonink | @lynnafred | @prismalicht | @sincerestaffect | @romenna | @zekethegm | @random-stuff-thrown-into-a-pot​ | @asttralhell​ | @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword | @kittensartswriting​ | | @raiswanson​ | @ettawritesnstudies​ | @writingwordsanddrawingpictures​ | @fatal-blow | @fynniana​ | @consciousdreamz​ | @corishadowfang​ | @raywritesblog​ | @kainablue​ | @afragilestrongsoul​ | 

#2019 recap #I really hope things will work out #I've had so much anxiety last year #let's make sure this one is better #happy new year everyone #<333

[machihunnicutt]

What the Downton Movie Owes Me (but will probably not give me): Some Thoughts on Thomas Barrow

yes...I wrote 1k+ words on this. I’m so sorry.

I’m watching Downton Abbey for the 3rd (4th?) time with my sister who hasn’t seen it. I love this glorified soap opera to death, y’all, with the full acknowledgment that this show does a horrible job with a lot of its plot lines designed to tackle complicated issues: disability (the ableism against Bates via the house that he never gets apologies for, Matthew and his spinal injury/wheelchair that is always framed as life-ending and making him nothing but a “burden”), class (the Branson/Sybil marriage is alright, but there are countless missed opportunities to interrogate the relationship between upstairs and downstairs, particularly Carson’s attachment to a family that monopolizes his life and the lives of all its employees), (I’m going to leave race and gender alone because I think it does a pretty decent job when these issues come into play but feel free to lmk if there’s something I missed!), and sexuality, which is what I want to get into.

So granted, I understand that I’m not the target audience for this show. I understand that Downton’s gay characters were not written primarily to be relatable, multifaceted representations of gay people in a period drama. I get that Downton’s target audience is older, straight people for which representation isn’t super important. But, I have watched this show at least 3 times now and I’m still angry about its treatment of Thomas Barrow, so I’m going to break down why:

1) Things We Know About Thomas Barrow

I really like early seasons of Downton because, for all its drawn out drama and plot twists, it cares a lot about character development and consistency. Many characters (dare I say the majority) do mean and bad things and yet, we are still empathetic because we’ve spent time with them, understand why they make the choices they do, and see them learn from their mistakes (early seasons Mary is an excellent example.)

Thomas Barrow is my favorite Downton character because of the great narrative work they do in this regard. In the first episode we learn several character traits of his that continue to be important throughout his arcs:

- He doesn’t trust easily and has few friends in the house. (AKA, boy’s got a bad attitude. It’s better to act like you hate everyone than give them the chance to reject you.) I found this immediately endearing (because of who I am I guess lol), and though I understand why people don’t like his character because of this, I think it’s a good move for a character you intend to have grow over a long period of time. Opening up, accepting help from others, and showing kindness are all parts of Thomas’ future storylines, actions that show his slow growth from this facet of his character. I also think it’s important to note that when Thomas does make friends he is loyal to them (I’m excepting O’Brien from this category given there’s so much backstabbing between them that it’s a stretch to call them friends) and will take risks to protect them (Examples: befriending Lt. Courtenay and later fighting Dr. Clarkson to keep him at the hospital; befriending Lady Sybil and speaking kindly about her when he doesn’t have nice things to say about anyone else upstairs, later earnestly mourning her death in a show of vulnerability he generally masks; befriending Jimmy and looking out for him when he gets drunk at the fair, going as far to get beaten up to save Jimmy; befriending Andy and helping him learn to read; befriending the kids of the house and saving them from that one nasty nanny who was mistreating them.)

- He’s a romantic. The man wants to be loved and jfc I wish the show gave him a good love interest.

- He’s easily manipulated. (More on this later, but for now...) The Duke plays him, and it’s cruel, but it shows how easily Thomas can be tricked when he’s offered affection and the chance to leave Downton for something better. (Also note: from day one, he’s wanted to leave Downton!)

- He’s the evil gay trope. The gay villain trope has a long and complicated history and sure, you can say Thomas’s sexuality and role as an antagonist aren’t connected, but the show doesn’t exist in a vacuum and it feeds into a long history of villainizing LGBT and LGBT coded characters. The thing I hate most is that they get really close to subverting it in Thomas’ best moments (his work in the hospital during the war, his relationship with the kids, his gradual opening up to people in the house) but alas...

2) Why I Hate The Jimmy Kent Arc More Than Anything

Okay, so it makes sense for Thomas to be manipulated by O’Brien. That’s consistent with his character and I don’t fault the show for melodrama because that’s what it does. What I hate, is that the show depicts Thomas’ attraction to Jimmy as predatory and when he is punished for trying to kiss Jimmy while he’s asleep (which is assault) the house (and I’d argue, the show) frames this as bad only because Thomas is gay and Jimmy is not. In the show’s narrative Jimmy is mad because he’s homophobic, not because he’s been violated. And his and Jimmy’s ensuing friendship would be genuinely sweet if it really was just an issue of homophobia and not one of ASSAULT!

I’d argue, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t portray Thomas as predatory and then brush it aside to make a statement about tolerance, because assaulting people is bad regardless of the sexuality of the perpetrator. You either need to punish his actions for what they are or get better at story telling and not rely on the predatory gay stereotype.

But, secondarily, I’m bothered by this arc because it doesn’t seem in character, to me. I know Thomas does a lot of bad, stupid things, but I don’t think it makes sense for him to be predatory. In his best moments he is protective, romantic, and loyal. Yes, we see him as rash and naive, but his actions never felt right for the character, to me. I just think it’s lazy writing to handle his attraction to Jimmy this way, especially given the development of their friendship afterward. It would’ve been so much more satisfying and narratively interesting for Thomas to express his feelings for Jimmy in a respectful way. Jimmy is the only character we see Thomas have genuine feelings for (not motivated by upward mobility as in the case of the Duke or I guess(?) racial stereotyping in the case of Kemal Pamuk...but lbr his pass at him was mostly a plot device) and I think the arc would’ve been so much more fulfilling if we saw it as Thomas’ attempt to love someone fully and honestly, even if it ultimately doesn’t work out the way he wants it to. And I don’t get why they didn’t do this! Because the Jimmy/Thomas friendship ends up being sweet, and useful for each character’s development. They just had to make it gross by beginning with an assault. Just a huge, lazy, waste of a potentially good idea.

3) The Last Season Was Bad For A Lot Of Characters But They Did Thomas Extremely Dirty

I don’t know where to start with the last season because I think they ran into so many problems because they forgot how to use great characters effectively (Mary is a prime example!!) and started just throwing them into dramatic situations for the sake of plot and not keeping actions consistent with established character.

For example, life at Downton is the roughest it has ever been for Thomas in season 6, to the point where he is alienated by most in the house (I’m not going to talk about how badly Carson treats him and how much of a tyrant Carson is in the last season because again, I think it comes down to the writers forgetting how to use their characters effectively) and attempts suicide. All in all, I just don’t like this because it’s predictable and overdone. Gay people in period pieces almost always have overwhelmingly tragic stories and it’s not fun for me to watch anymore. What most disappoints me though, is that when everyone else is getting paired off in the fan-servicey ending, Thomas’ consolation prize is being the butler??? To a house full of people who’ve hated him??? He’s wanted from the beginning to leave Downton and in the end he doesn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, if the show had shown me his change in attitude and relationship to the house, given me this character development in meaningful ways, and not used a suicide attempt as a half-assed catalyst for change, I would be all for Thomas as Downton’s butler. I think that if they’d done the work of making it a believable and constructive next step for his character, that I’d really like it. I think Thomas’ relationship with the kids (particularly George! I’d watch a whole movie about that!) is well done and I think it echos Carson’s relationship with Mary, but better. But you! have! to! do! the! work! to! get! the! audience! there! You can’t give me a whole season of Downton nastiness and Thomas suffering and then expect me to buy that this is his happy ending.

4) What I Want From This Movie

I don’t think I’ll get it (though a love interest for Thomas via the trailer is encouraging), but here’s what I want:

- Show me why Thomas Barrow as Downton butler makes sense. And if you can’t, let him leave and be happy somewhere else because he deserves it.

- Show me how he’s grown. Show me his relationship with the kids and how he’s better than Carson because I need it!!

- Let Thomas be in a relationship that is healthy and not manipulative or coercive or a plot device for drama.

- Let him be in love and don’t make it a sad story. Please.

I find Thomas Barrow such a compelling character because he isn’t perfect. He makes mistakes. He does bad things. He grows. He changes over the course of six seasons. He’s a gay character in a period drama whose story isn’t about being ashamed of who he is. It isn’t about denial or apologies or pretending he’s someone he isn’t. And I think that’s significant. I just wish they’d done a slightly better job. :)

(Thanks for reading. I’m gonna keep being a Thomas Barrow stan even when no one watching with me thinks I’m valid lol.)

#thomas barrow #downton abbey #downton movie #awi makes things #downton abbey rant #jimmy kent #lgbt media #rant

[edelgoth]

matchup for nightrainn2

@nightrainn2 thank you for your patience!! sorry for making you wait so long for this, but all three are under the cut <3 

so, for fire emblem: three houses, i match you with... 

ignatz!!

ignatz is a very patient, understanding person, and i think that would be really good for you!! 

he seems to quite good with handling difficult emotions (just look at his supports with marianne), and very supportive without being overwhelming 

as he’s quite introverted himself, i think he’d be pleasant for you to spend time with; he knows his boundaries and he’d understand your needs pretty well, making him very comfortable to be around

he also likes reading!! and once he was able to, i think he’d definitely invest in having a little reading room/library in your home!! also, the most likely to want a family, i think!! and he’d be a pretty good dad imo 

he’s a very gently encouraging person (marianne’s supports, again, highlight this), and he would remind you that he thinks your opinions are important and need to be said 

i just feel like he’d be good with the fact that you’re highly sensitive and prone to melancholy? he’s just a very patient, loving person, and i think he’d be a very good listener 

furthermore, he’s very patient and attentive, and would learn how to read you well. he’d want to show you the respect you deserve, and he’d really put in the work for that

he’d be very good at talking you down when you’re overthinking or over-analyzing, and does his best to be a calming, grounding force for you in those moments 

rainy days with him are the best; whether it’s reading while snuggled up to each other, or doing a puzzle together, baking, etc. it’s just a nice moment that the two of you get to steal away together, away from all your worries 

i think he’d like it when you got quirky, excitable and bubbly, and he really enjoys spending time with you like that; he’s also charmed by how eccentric you can be sometimes 

and he really encourages you when you’re interested in something; he loves hearing you talk about the things you love, and he makes sure to always ask you questions to show that he’s listening 

overall, i think he’d be a very good match, and he’d balance you out quite well! 

alternative matchups

ashe: i think ashe would be quite similar to ignatz in a lot of ways. he’d be very patient, very kind, and very aware of your feelings, and you also share interests in reading and baking. i think he’d also be quite charmed by your quirkiness, and you’re both idealists. i chose ignatz over him mostly because of the ‘vibe’, but i do think ignatz is arguably more... gentle in some regards? ashe would be very enthusiastic, but ignatz is more likely to take it slow? if that makes any sense? but i still think ashe is a great fit. 

sylvain: i feel like you would be a very good partner for him, and the sort of person that he’d really flourish with. but, i don’t know if he’d be the best partner for you?? like you’d quite along very well when you were in an excitable and bubbly mood, but the way he tends to conduct himself may not be the best thing for your anxiety and insecurity. but, i think at the core you’re both very caring, open-minded and loyal (well, in sylvain’s case, once he knows it’s mutual), and i very much see him as someone who’d encourage you to speak your mind. 

from dragon age 2, i match you with... 

varric tethras!!

i’ll be honest, this was the matchup that kept me from finishing this simply because everyone in dragon age 2 is such a damn mess aalkjslkjlj

but that being said, i think varric is the best for for you!! i think you and varric would have a nice balance; he’s very loyal and loving, yes, but he’s not a particularly soft person. i get the feeling you could soften his edges a bit. on the other hand, i think he could really help you learn how to defend yourself against the world, and how to speak your mind a bit more 

varric absolutely teases you to hell and back, though. loves to flirt with you because you’re oblivious. you guys definitely had a ton of ‘not-dates’ until varric decided that he just had to tell you how he felt bc it was getting a bit ridiculous

you want a family? well, varric’s already got five kids (yes, including hawke), so expect your hands to be full with making sure that everyone’s Doing Okay. merrill and isabela have a particular love for you; they both think you’re adorable, and isabela has taken it on herself to be part of your Protection Squad 

definitely organizes a little ‘library area’ of your room in the hanged man. it may not be the whole room of your dreams, but he knows how much you love reading, and how valuable a space like that could be to you.

loves it when you get curious and eccentric. he’s very fond of quirky characters, and he finds your curiosity endearing; it means he’s going to chat your ear off about something fascinating. he also appreciates that you’re quite open-minded, and i really can’t envision him with a partner who didn’t have that trait. 

also loves that your witty, and enjoys bantering with you. i think playfulness is something he’d value in a partner, and there’d be a lot of light-heartedness to your relationship 

you two are a very sarcastic couple tho, my goodness. sometimes you just won’t let one another live 

varric might not be the best when it comes to handling your more dour days, simply because he’s not the greatest at confronting emotions. but, he’s going to try his best 

encourages you to “cathart” those emotions (maybe throw some shit at a wall or scream into the streets; the more creative, the better), and is at least pretty good at reading when you need time alone, or when you need company 

you’re maybe the only person who gets to read his drafts; also, he loves it when you cook!! the idea that someone’d make a meal for him is strangely endearing; maybe it’s because he’s so used to paying for food at the hanged man 

i think that, while there might be a few hiccups, and your relationship wouldn’t be quite as vulnerable as the others listed here, i think you two could work quite well together! 

alternative matchups

anders: i was super conflicted on this one. i nearly put him as your number one, but i just think that he can be too... volatile, if that makes sense? he’s a very passionate person in all aspects of life, but especially when it comes to his relationships. i think he’d be excellent for you when things are going well, and he would treat you with the compassion and respect you deserve. when things weren’t so good, though, i think he might be very irresponsible with your feelings? he’s just got a lot of emotion and he doesn’t tend to hold back (at least in my gameplay experience alkfdjsfdlkj). but that being said, i think you two could be a very good match (in an au universe, maybe?) 

sebastian: i’ll be quite honest and say that i don’t know sebastian very well yet (i’ve only just started to interact with him bc i just got the dlc), but i feel like if i knew him better, he might have won out here? he seems like a very kind, warm-hearted person, and he really does try to see the best in others. people are straight up mean to him, and he still responds kindly. that grounded kindness would be a very good thing for you, i think, and i think he would admire many parts of your personality. at the same time, he has the compassion to help you through your more melancholic days; he knows how hard that sort of pain can be to deal with, after all. 

in echoes, i match you with...

lukas!!

this one also gave me some difficulty, but for the opposite reason than above; all three guys were just too good, and it was near impossible to pick one alkjdfldfksj

that being said, i think lukas would be a great balance for you!! he’s a very mild-mannered, measured person, and i think that could help ground you. meanwhile, you might be able to help him explore those more passionate emotions that he seems to hold back 

he’s more of an ignatz than a varric, in the sense that i think you’d have a softer, more vulnerable relationship? he’s just more gentle, i suppose 

he’s also charmed by your quirky,  and bubbly personality; i feel like they’re traits that he’s not used to being around, so he’d really enjoy them

may take you guys ages to realise you have feelings for each other though; i think lukas has a harder time picking up on that sort of thing, and you’d probably have a long stretch of time where you sort of act like you’re together in some ways, but neither of you are actually calling it a relationship 

lukas can be very witty and sarcastic himself, so i think that would be quite fun for you two. on some days, you’d have top-quality banter

lukas definitely strikes me as the guy who would encourage you to speak your mind; i say this thinking of how he stands up to fernand when alm first joins the deliverance. so, when he suspects you’re holding your opinions back, he’ll gently tell you to speak up 

because he’s quite measured and thoughtful, i think lukas would be very careful with each step of your relationship, which will be a good or a bad thing depending on your perspective. even though he’s courted people before, i get the feeling that he’s never really been in love, so it’s all very much a new thing for him, too. because of that, expect there to be some awkwardness as you both try to navigate these feelings together 

essentially, you’d have a very solid friends-to-lovers story; and it’d definitely be one that everyone else saw coming before you guys even suspected that was where your relationship was going 

appreciates how loyal and caring you are; i think those would be traits that he’d value in a partner, and he’d appreciate being able to really relax and open up to you.

he’s very loyal and easy to trust; hopefully that would be able to quell some of your anxieties about opening up to someone and starting a relationship 

honestly, i think lukas is arguably your best match of the three!! he’d be a very good person to balance you out, and you could both bring a lot to your relationship!! 

alternate matchups

forsyth: he’s a bit of an opposite to lukas here, but i don’t think that’s a bad thing. i actually think the two of you are quite similar, in some ways! you’re both very loyal and passionate, and i think that’s something you’d both invest into your relationship. he’s a bit more extroverted, and i think he’s less prone to melancholy, but i think you share the same a similar spirit. i just think lukas would be better for you on the whole? i tend to like balance in my relationships, after all. 

alm: alm is very kind, open-minded yet tenacious, passionate yet measured. i think in a lot of ways, he’d be similar to lukas in this relationship; the main difference is that he’s a bit more emotional? this is one of those situations where i don’t quite know why i picked one person over the other, but eh!! i think it’s mainly that you give me a bit of an ‘old soul’ vibe, while alm still comes off quite young? whereas lukas can match that maturity a bit better!!

#matchups #fire emblem matchups #ignatz matchup #varric matchup #lukas matchup

[filmandthefemalegaze]

Interview with Hayley Cox

For this project, I decided to conduct an interview with my friend, Hayley Cox, a current Film and Directing student, to help understand what it is like to create film through a female perspective as well as highlight her experiences in a male-dominated major. 

Maddi Young: Hello! Would you please introduce yourself? 

Hayley Cox: Hi! Hi! I’m Hayley Cox, pronouns are she/her. I’m a student at the University of Central Florida currently majoring in Film and Directing. 

MY: First of all I want to thank you for taking some time and answering my questions. I really appreciate it. To begin, could you explain what drew you to pursuing a career in film?

HC: Yeah! Growing up I never got tired of watching movies. I would watch them all day if I could.When I learned about the amount of people it took to make a film and the fact I could be one of them, I sort of knew right then that it was what I wanted to do. People love to be entertained and there are so many stories left to tell. I want to be one of those people, telling stories that I’ve held in my head and heart since I was a child. 

MY: How has your path been, studying this in college and being on sets? 

HC: I have loved most of my classes and I like learning about different ways to tell a story. But, it hasn’t always been easy. I recall my final project my freshman year. My partner was a guy and we were co-directing our short film we had spent the semester writing. I had written most of the script. He would give me his ideas and I would write it. I did the storyboards and the shot list prior to filming, while he did the call sheet and found actors. On the day of production, I was basically running around like an assistant. Making copies, setting up the snacks, and organizing the props. He kind of took over as the director but then I noticed how badly the takes/shots were. Boom mics and lights could be seen in the shot, which would only make post production more difficult. So I kindly stepped in and pointed out what we needed to be careful about. For the rest of the day it was more equal amongst the both of us on filming, but I couldn’t help but feel like I overstepped. Which is completely ridiculous since we were partners, and in reality I had done most of the work. After we wrapped and started editing, we only had to turn in one copy for our production class. When it came time to decide whose we would turn it, we had only watched mine before he said to turn in mine. I’m proud of the work and I’m glad he liked it, but the effort wasn’t equal in the slightest. I felt like he got to receive credit for my hard work, and he was happy to do so. 

MY: So, would you say that he took advantage of his identity as a man to make you do the heavy-lifting? And expect you to do so?

HC: Yeah, I think so. Back then, all I cared about was doing my best. I didn’t notice the extent of it, that I was putting in all the effort and he was reaping the benefits. 

MY: This leads into my next question regarding men’s place in film and the “male gaze”. Have you heard of this term before? 

HC: I have. Honestly, though, I couldn’t explain to you exactly what it is. 

MY: That’s okay! It’s still a relatively new phrase and/or concept. The male gaze is essentially the way men, whether that be the director, the audience, or the character in the film, view women. It’s typically objectifying, seeing women as sexual beings, or, well, objects. 

HC: Yes! That’s what I was thinking. 

MY: Yeah! So, do any films come to mind when you think of the male gaze? 

HC: Uhm...now that I think of it, it feels like a lot of movies would fit that description. Like, Marvel movies for instance. I love Marvel, but Black Widow is always shown in a sexual way. Including unnecessary shots of her body that I guess are supposed to appeal to the male viewer. Even her, and some other female characters’, costumes are sexualized for no reason. The fact that Scarlet Witch wears a corset in battle is insane. 

MY: Right? The objectification happens so passively sometimes that we don’t even think twice anymore. But, the more we talk about it and the more we demand for better from these directors, the issue will begin to lessen. 

HC: I agree. 

MY: Now that we’ve talked about the male gaze, have you heard of the term, “female gaze”?

HC: No, I haven’t. I’m guessing it’s kind of like the male gaze, just through a woman’s eyes instead?

MY: Yeah, kinda! It’s a little different though. In the way that the male gaze is objectifying, the female gaze typically personifies. And since men are the oppressor in society and women are the oppressed, the female gaze cannot be an equal to the male gaze. 

HC: That makes sense. So like, women characters for instance. They aren’t written to objectify the male characters, they're written to see the male as a person. 

MY: Exactly. 

HC: I feel like that also explains the motivation of characters, in respect to the director as well. Like, why female characters shot or written by women see a male counterpart and romanticize it, making them a person even when they don’t know them. And male characters [shot by men] see the female characters as sexual beings or as devices to further their story. 

MY: That completely makes sense. It reminds me of the “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” trope. 

HC: *laughing* Oh my god, yes. 

MY: So, now that you’re familiar with the term, can you think of any movies you think exhibit the female gaze? 

HC: Let me think for a moment. 

HC: Portrait of a Lady on Fire comes to mind. 

MY: Could you elaborate on why? 

HC: One of the main characters is a female painter, and she’s commissioned to paint another woman, but she can’t reveal that she’s there to paint her. She has to secretly observe the other woman and her body, since it’s like the 1800s or something and they can’t take pictures. So the movie is basically about how a woman is perceived through another woman’s view. 

MY: I love that movie. It’s directed by a woman, too. 

HC: Yeah, so that adds a whole other layer. How a woman chooses to shoot a woman versus how a man would. 

MY: Kind of on that same wave length, when women shoot films the idea of making it “feminist” is always looming overhead. What do you think makes a feminist film?

HC: I think a “feminist” film is one that gets the audience thinking about the role of women in real life, not just in the movie. It enlightens the audience on what it could be like being a woman and how women are treated by society or others. There’s more to it, of course, but that’s initially what I think of. 

MY: I think that’s a good explanation. Now, since you are a women entering the film industry, do you feel pressured to create movies that qualify as “feminist”? 

HC: Hmm. Yes and no? I mean, I just want to tell stories, like I said before. But being a feminist is a part of who I am and how I view things, so I think that they’ll be feminist whether intentional or not. But men never have to be asked that question, you know? They just get to create. And I don’t know, maybe they should be asked it. 

MY: True. 

HC:  I do feel a pressure sometimes, though. As a woman in directing. We’re still the minority in the field, so every time a woman succeeds- or fails- everyone knows. 

MY: Also true. But I think you’re doing a wonderful job. 

HC: Thank you so much. 

MY: I just have one more question. Do you have any advice for other women, or young girls, wanting to pursue a career in film?

HC: Yes. Your gender should not hinder your success in the industry, no matter what anyone says. Out of the many jobs in the film industry, find the one you love and do it. 

MY: I love it. Thank you again, Hayley. It has been so fun to talk about this with you. 

HC: Same! I feel like now I’m going to be noticing the “gazes” when I watch movies now. So thanks for that. *laughs*

MY: Oh, you are so welcome. 

_______________________________________

#mine #interview

[deliriousdisquisitions]

Review: Godsgrave by Jay Kristoff:

I’m going to preface this review with a little note about Jay Kristoff. I love him, I really do. He is one of my current favorite YA authors and on a very short list of authors I would love to meet in person someday. His books are always fantastic, with their badass heroines, impossible quests, snarky banter, and lots of action. A Kristoff book is one that’s bound to be chock full of metaphors and melodrama. And above all else, they are always, always entertaining.

Which is why I tend to buy and binge read them the day they are released. And you know what? Sleep deprivation riding on an adrenaline high is, ideally, the best state in which to read his books. Everything feels so much more epic and urgent; it’s all one big adrenaline rush from start to finish. Down in one shot like fine whiskey, burning all the way to the end.

Incidentally this was the first time I read one of his books the regular way and actually took my time (a ridiculous amount of time really. It took me over two weeks) to read this book. And well, did not hold so good under scrutiny.

The plot: One of the reasons I was so freaking excited about this book was because of the way things were left off in book one. It seemed to me that by murdering someone not assigned by the Red Church, Mia had summarily cut her ties to them and was now free to go off into the world and seek revenge. I was very interested to see to see where things would go from there. And boy, the first half of this book not disappoint.

We start off with bloody murder, with our heroine smack dab in the middle of things with her revenge plot well underway. From then, we weave back and forth between the present and the past, in what is one of my favorite narrative styles, as we try to piece together the events that lead Mia to this point in the story.

This aspect of Kristoff’s writing is something that I really love. He masterfully parallels both narratives in such a way that the stakes in one timeline is informed and then intensified by events in the other. It’s some really stuff right there! In fact, everything leading up to the first half of the book, is pretty damn epic! It’s only in the second half that the plot starts to go downhill.

At the end of Nevernight, there is still so much we don’t know about Mia and where her powers originate from. I had hoped Godsgrave would answer some of these questions. And yet, beyond a couple mentions of Mia’s power in the beginning and some cryptic hints at the very end, the book doesn’t address any of the questions I had regarding Mia’s powers.

The main plot of Godsgrave is set up for some gladiator style hunger games which gives Mia plenty of opportunities to bloody things up. This is the first time that Mia has been alone and without (many) allies and it was very entertaining to watch her plan things out as she goes. One of the best things about her character is that for all her badassery she is not infallible; something that we are constantly reminded of in this book. Despite being an assassin of the Red Church, she is not automatically proficient in all fighting techniques no is she the best at defense; which makes sense since the acolytes of the Red Church are basically thieves and murderers and only know basic fighting techniques in case they need to fight their way out when on a job.

Therefore, Mia learning the Gladiatii style of combat and merging it with her own cunning and intellect was one of the plot highlights. The fights themselves were very creative and reminiscent of the one between The Mountain and Oberyn from Game of Thrones. However, I soon started losing interest as they started to get repetitive and seemed to drag on forever! There was so much of the fighting going on when all I could think of was that it’s a waste of time better spent learning more about her powers and how to use them.

Characters: Speaking of powers, I was actually very excited to learn there was someone else who shared Mia’s powers. Furian started off as a potentially strong character. To learn that he has chosen to shun his powers thinking them abhorrent, instead of using them like Mia, was such an intriguing concept. And yet, we get nothing substantial out of his character. Furian spends the whole book alternating between a red herring love interest and a colossal pain in the ass! So much time is spent hammering on Mia and Furian’s lust/hate relationship. And yet, his only real purpose in the book is to serve as a foil for Mia. Which would have been very interesting had we gotten to explore their diverging ideologies, moralities, or motives and how that shapes their characters and relationships with the people around them. I wanted reluctant friendships! Barring that, I wanted begrudging acceptance of the other’s ways. At the very least, I wanted training montages! But instead, we get disapproving Furian who, by the way, is one half of the most annoying characters in this damn book! He spends the entire book glaring daggers at Mia and fuming in disapproval or reproaching her character. I get it. Mia’s not a good person. But damn it, if she isn’t a billion times more interesting than Furian!

Which is not to say that I don’t want people disapproving of our protagonist. She’s an assassin! Of course someone needs to question her character. I want to see Mia being questioned and prodded and poked at. I want her to question her own intentions. Especially in light of the reveal about Mia’s family, which I thought was an excellent plot twist. I want to see that Mia be the lowest of the low and still somehow find a way to redeem herself to the readers.

What I don’t want is to root for Mia at the cost of someone else’s character development. Make me like Mia, by making her flawed; by making her human. Not by making everyone else around her turn out to be a complete moron!

This happens not just in Furian’s case, but also for Donna and Arkades. All three of these characters start off very strong, driven characters. All three of them are later revealed to be weak, pathetic, fools driven my childish motives and love/lust for the other. Donna is a spoiled brat seeking revenge on her father with no means of actually accomplishing them. She talks big and yet her actions make her seems very silly and indecisive. Arkades, on the other hand, had the potential to actually be a good teacher for Mia. And yet, he’s reduced to a foolish old man brought low by love for his mistress. Also, can we stress that she was just a child when he began to have “feelings” for her??? Any respect I had for his character just disappeared for me after that.

The only characters I actually liked in Godsgrave were the other Gladiatii, specially Sid, and Mia’s interaction with them. Although at one point toward the end everyone pretty much started sounding the same. And of course, Mr. Kindly and Eclipse (although can Eclipse please stop calling Mr. Kindly “moggy”?? It sounds pretty ridiculous and I hate it. Up your diss game Eclipse!).

Sexuality: Mia’s bisexuality and subsequent relationship with Ashlinn was actually done pretty well. I like how complex their relationship is and especially in light of the fact that Ash betrayed and then killed Mia’s former lover in book 1. However, despite how complex their relationship is, it is believable and happens quite organically. Moreover, Mia’s love for one does not automatically lessen her love for Tick. They are just two very different relationships between people who have undergone a lot of change in the past year and emerged from that as very different people. I could’ve done without those needlessly long sex scenes though.

Less believable was the reveal about Mia’s father. Unlike the reveal about Mia’s mother’s character, where the twist was kind of hinted at in Nevernight, this one seemed a little out of nowhere. In the end, it seemed a little like unnecessary drama added in for pure shock value.

I wish they had explained the idea of sexuality more in terms of world building. I’m still unclear about the stance on sexuality taken up in Mia’s world; it’s never really mentioned how people of the LGBTQ community are treated here. Are people of all sexual orientations treated equally? Are there prejudices in place against non-heteronormative individuals? From what I have seen so far, sexuality doesn’t seem to be much of a big deal in this world. Whether you are bisexual like Mia or gay like her father, everyone just seems to roll with it.

World building: I have always been very fascinated with ancient Roman culture so the world building works for me. The Gladiatii match on Chariots was a particularly good touch as it showcased how much of this world is influenced by Roman culture. The games were underscored with a sense of dread and desperation; the slaves performing like animals at the circus, highlighting the barbaric nature of the people in power.

But slavery itself is not fully explored, despite it being one of the main issues in Godsgrave. Slave culture not fully explored. We are constantly told, rather than shown, that slavery is an issue in Godsgrave; that the master’s exert complete control over their slaves and disobedience is severely punished. And yet, Mia often breaks those rules. She not only talks back to her Donna, but goes so far as to advise, reproach, and even order her around on one occasion. And yet, no punishment is ever doled out for Mia (save for that one time in the beginning). I can understand that since Mia is not a slave, obedience is not something she’s used to. But for the Donna to let her treat her that way seems questionable. It just makes the whole issue with slavery feel very half assed the way it is written, almost as if Mia and the Gladiatii behave as slaves only when it suits the plot.

Writing: I generally enjoy Kristoff’s overly dramatic writing style. He has a flair for melodrama and for writing some really good action sequences. There are two standout instances of this in Godsgrave: one, which I already mentioned earlier, was the way he experiments with time in the beginning of the book. The second, is the way in which Kristoff draws parallels while narrating the story. We saw some really beautiful writing in the first chapter of Nevernight when Mia’s sexual encounter is paralleled with her first murder. In Godsgrave, we see the same style of writing when Kristoff describes both Mia and Furian’s having sex with their respective partners, mirroring each other’s actions and dialogues while simultaneously bringing out the contrast between the two couples. It’s beautifully done in both books, and is something that I particularly enjoy about Kristoff’s writing.

That and the excess metaphors I kind of miss them now that Kristoff has toned it down in this book.

I do think Kristoff tends to get a bit over dramatic at times. Especially with some of Donna’s high handed manner of speaking that just grated on my nerves. Or maybe that was just her character. But those are minor complaints since I really do enjoy his writing. Overall, I liked this book despite all my criticisms. I guess I had a lot of expectations and Godsgrave just felt short of those expectations. And though I liked it well enough, I just did not enjoy it as much as Nevernight.

Disclaimer: I don’t own these images. 

#godsgrave #jay kristoff #book review #bookblr #books #review #writing #studyblr #study #study blog #study blogger #writing practice #ya books #favourite #favorite books #litblr #literature #english literature #mia Corvere #mr. kindly #eclipse #darkin #stab stab stab #bloody books #gore #blood #assassins #its lit #all things literature #english

[sunflowersnows-blog]

Appropriate Dating Age

It isn’t uncommon for many highschool students to be interested in the idea of dating, as romantic love is introduced to many of us at quite a young age and only continues to grow normalized as we grow up (I knew many gradeschoolars who had “boyfriends” and “girlfriends” before they even knew what love was.) In some regards, there’s nothing wrong with being interested in dating and relationships because highschool is really the first time teenagers/young adults begin to find themselves and question their romantic/sexual preferences, what they like and don't like, things along those lines. 

However, as fun as finding yourself can be, there’s a lot of issues surrounding adolescent dating that is swept under the rug, and for that reason, I think the appropriate dating age should be 24 to 25 years old. First of all, lets talk about biology. Contrary to popular belief, the human brain doesn’t stop developing when a teenager becomes a legal adult at the age of 18. The brain actually stops developing at 25 years old, from that point on, your brain will no longer undergo any developmental changes. But every year before that, ones brain is still growing and changing everyday, meaning a person cannot physically be fully mature until they're 25. Yes, this includes girls, who are often said to mature faster than boys. The growth that occurs faster in girls is that of the emotional and cognitive (learning and understanding) sorts, which means those specific parts of the brain mature faster. Not all of the parts are maturing at the same rate, meaning their brains are also still developing until they reach 25, just like everyone else. 

Waiting until you’ve fully developed as a person before beginning a relationship, in my opinion, is a lot smarter and beneficial to you and your partner. You both should understand yourselves and your mental states, making it a lot easier to clearly express what you want out of relationship, even if you've never been in one before. Seeing as your fully mature as well, one should find it easier to sort out their own feelings and have better communication with their partners wheras it can be hard to communicate and rationalize with others as an adolescent because of hormonal inbalances and other external factors (like stress from school/home) that would make it difficult for a teenager/young adult to recognize and properly communicate their own feelings. By having effective communication skills and by knowing the type of person you are before entering the relationship, it'll increase the chances of the relationship being a healthy one where both parties can get the most out of it without feeling like their feelings are being ignored. 

This takes me on to the second point, dating as a teenager/young adult can be harmful/dangerous to many who don't even realize they're in a dangerous or toxic relationship (this point is mainly geared towards women, but it can happen to men too.) It is really easy for teens to enter into an unhealthy/toxic relationship and is extremely hard to leave that relationship, many not even realizing the relationship is unhealthy for them. For example, because of this bullshit idea that girls mature faster than men that’s normalied in our culture, a lot of teens think theyre more mature than they actually are, and i’m not saying they’re stupid, I’m saying that because of this idea theyre ‘mature’ that its okay for them to be dating men that are 4 years older than them. Older men play into this idea that girls being more mature is a real and valid reason for them to take advantage of freshman high school students as if they were at all interested in romance and not in taking advantage of them because they know those young girls don't know any better. I have a 13 year old little sister, who is soon to be 14 when I turn 18, not even in highschool yet. There is no way I would date a child my sisters age. No-one should be dating a person with a four year age gap while they're in high school, or even college. Why? Because, once again, there is a serious gap in emotional maturity/brain development. It would be different if it were a 26 and 31 year old dating, hell i’ve seen age gaps bigger than that and it’s fine, but it’s fine because they are both adults with brains that are fully emotionally mature. A 14 year old freshman doesn't have the same emotional maturity as an 18 year old senior, the gap in brain development is just way too large and the whole relationship just seems predatorial. The freshman will think it’s fine because her boyfriend says it is because shes a child who doesn't recognize grooming due to the blindsiding desire to be loved by someone, as well as the normalization of the sexualition of children in our culture (but that’s another story.)

Additionally, there are other safety concerns that tie in with the one previously mentioned, such as abusive relationships (physically, sexually, or mentally.) When talking about abusive relationships in teen/young adult years, statistics indicate that a majority of girls are victims of abuse, one article mentioning 94% of relationship based abuse happens to girls between the ages of 16 to 19. As I mentioned earlier, it is so easy to enter an abusive relationship, because what people don't understand is abuse isn't always physical. It isn't always black eyes or bruised arms. Abuse can be a lot more subtle and hard to pick up on but is just as harmful. Abuse that’s verbal is a lot harder for outsiders to pick up on and a lot harder for the victim to pick up on too. Shit like, “If you’ll ever leave me, I’ll kill myself,” or, “If you love me, you’ll stop seeing (random friend),” are legitimate forms of abuse that start off as harmless enough requests or comments that develop into unhelathy, controlling relationship where one partner essentially controls the life of the other. These relationships lead to serious damage of the victims mental state and confidence and can lead to feelings of despair at being in a relationship that you don't want to be in, but don't know how to leave because no one ever taught you how. A lot of teens go into relationships with little knowledge of what a healthy relationship ought to look like and get hurt as a result of it, which is a failing of the school system for not talking more about women's safety in relationships, how to recognize signs of abuse, and consent (once again, another story.) I’m not saying these girls/women are too stupid to look these things up themselves, but that’s infomration that should be taught sooner rather than later. Lets not even get started on sexual abuse because it’s way too common in relationships. People usually view rape as a thing that happens randomly and for no good reason but it’s statuistcally proven that over 82% of victims know their rapist.

In conclusion, I’d like to say that this is not a callout post. If you are dating someone right now, I respect both you and your partner and I wish you the best! I also understand that not every highschool/college relationship ends in tragedy and I don't look down on people who enter relationships before the age of 25. Your life is your own and you can go crazy with it! The above statements are the opinions I've formulated as a result of personal experiences, experiences I've had seen with friends/family, and statistics and is in no way meant to make anyone question themselves negatively. If anything, I only wish you take out of this healthy idea that you deserve to be happy in your relationship, you deserve to be treated kindly and with respect and there's no shame in getting help if you're having doubts about anything happening to you. That being said, stay safe and be aware. 

[marshmallowgoop]

With the live-action Beauty and the Beast movie now out, I feel the need to say: jokes about the Disney version of the fairy tale being ultimately a story of Stockholm syndrome or otherwise romanticized abuse are extremely tired, severely unfunny, and, above all else, in horrifically bad taste.

And here’s the thing. I could point to article after article arguing against these negative impressions and ideas concerning the 1991 Disney film—there are dozens and dozens of them. But while I generally do agree with all these articles, appreciate them, and recognize that they debate the nitty-gritty details of Beauty and the Beast controversies much more eloquently and knowledgeably than I could, I feel that, in trying to defend the beloved Disney classic, we often tiptoe around and underemphasize the fact that yes, the Beast is cruel, horrible, mean, and, yes, what you might term abusive in the beginning. Not only are the criticisms regarding the Beast’s behavior for the first third of the film completely valid in all actuality—they’re also the point. To dance around the issue doesn’t do justice to the film, either.

Because, at its core, I wouldn’t say that the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast is really a love story at all—at least, not in the “traditional,” romantic, lovey-dovey sense. If Disney’s take on the “tale as old as time” is ultimately a story of anything, it’s ultimately a story of self-love and redemption, a point that Beauty and the Beast screenwriter Linda Woolverton notes directly in a “Making of” feature for the film, saying, “[The movie had] the idea of a curse, [of] a mistake you made a long time ago that you have a very slim chance of ever redeeming yourself [from]. It’s about redemption.”

In other words? Beauty and the Beast is all about coping with past mistakes and past actions that you are not proud of. The film makes this idea exceedingly, abundantly clear—and right away, too, beginning with an opening narration that pulls absolutely no punches about the Beast’s “mistake” that he seeks redemption from. As the story goes, the Beast was “spoiled, selfish, and unkind” prior to his beastly curse, and the enchantment only gives these negative attributes the opportunity to fester and grow. Rather than coping with his regrets in a way that is productive, positive, and healthy, the Beast lets his mistakes devour him.

To the Beast, he can’t ever be redeemed of his childhood cruelty and malice, because he’s convinced that all people will ever see when they look upon him is a monster that is incapable of anything but cruelty and malice. In his mind, the whole world already sees him as bad, so what use is there in trying to be good? There is no redemption for what he’d done, no salvation.

So, in the Beast’s anguish, he becomes the very monster he wants to be free from. The Beast is violent. He’s angry. He can’t control his temper, and he wreaks havoc and destruction upon his home. He automatically assumes that people think the worst of him—“So, you’ve come to stare at the Beast, have you?” he asks Maurice, and he later laments, “[Belle will] never see me as anything... but a monster”—and he doesn’t give anyone a good reason not to think the worst of him. It’s clear that his servants and staff are afraid of him and his reactions, and the Beast’s behavior in the first third of the film is honestly hard to watch. He’s vicious and horrible and it’s highly uncomfortable to see.

But you know what? The Beast’s behavior is depicted as vicious and horrible and highly uncomfortable to see. There is absolutely nothing romantic or rosy about his behavior in the first part of the film, because the point is that it’s bad. The point is that the Beast needs to stop acting like a horrible monster and start behaving like a person that he would find worthy of loving.

One of the most common arguments against Disney’s Beauty and the Beast—which often comes hand-in-hand with sentiments like, “It’s not Stockholm syndrome, but it’s still problematic”—is the argument that the film promotes the unhealthy idea that a girl can “save a bad, abusive man with her love if she just tries hard enough and loves him more.” However, such claims completely miss the point---and they also completely destroy Belle’s character.

Belle never has the idea in her mind to “save” the Beast and make him act reasonable with her love. In fact, a scene early on seems to directly tackle this (yes, immensely hurtful) trope:

Wardrobe: But the Master’s really not so bad once you get to know him. Why don’t you give him a chance?

Belle: I don’t want to get to know him! I don’t want to have anything to do with him!

Belle is a character who will absolutely not “give someone a chance” if they give her absolutely no reason to. If you’re not going to be decent, Belle’s not going to bother with you; this mindset is also emphasized in Belle’s interactions with the rude, selfish Gaston, where she constantly brushes him off and pushes him out of her life. Belle wants nothing to do with someone who’s going to treat her like garbage, and Belle does not treat the Beast kindly until he treats her kindly—and even then, she doesn’t hold back from getting up in his face and telling him that he needs to stop being a jerk (“Well, you should learn to control your temper!”).

The story Beauty and the Beast is trying to tell is not a harmful one that says girls just need to be nice to their abusers and things will turn out okay, but rather a story about a man who hates himself and feels he can never be worthy of love becoming inspired to be a better person by someone he cares about—and this is far from subtle. The titular “Beauty and the Beast” song has lyrics pointing out, “Bittersweet and strange/Finding you can change/Learning you were wrong,” while Belle herself can’t seem to stop marveling over how the Beast really turned himself around, noting in “Something There” that he was once “mean,” “coarse,” and “unrefined,” but had become “dear and so unsure,” and later telling her father that the “horrible beast” is “different now” because “he’s changed somehow.”

And I just don’t see this as a bad narrative. I just don’t see how a story that is absolutely, unashamedly honest about bad behavior being bad and constantly, constantly pushes how to be a better person like this film does, could be, in any way, inherently, automatically detrimental. 

In fact, as someone who has experienced relationship abuse, I wish there were more movies like Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. I wish there were more movies unabashedly pointing out what a healthy relationship shouldn’t look like. I wish there were more movies where the protagonist realizes that the foundation that he and the person he loves built their relationship on is messed-up and that he doesn’t want it to be that way, like the Beast does when he recognizes that he doesn’t want Belle as his prisoner and lets her go, wishing for their relationship to instead be based on a desire to be together rather than a requirement to be. I wish we had more movies talking about these issues, and fewer movies acting like the troubling behaviors I endured are “cute” and “romantic,” because I didn’t even really realize that all the disrespect and manipulation I went through were wrong until after our relationship was over, and films like Beauty and the Beast only ever portray legitimately sweet behaviors as romantic and don’t shy away at all from portraying the bad as bad.

I could go on and on with this post. I could point out that Howard Ashman, a gay man, is the heart and soul of Beauty and the Beast, and that the story he tells in the film is one that can be read as a metaphor for AIDS (and was apparently confirmed as such recently), the disease that took his life. I could talk about how much Ashman believed in this film and how much he poured into it. I could talk about how Belle and the Beast were purposely the only two characters drawn wearing blue in the entire movie to show that they are “other” and “different,” and could talk about all the subtext behind a song dedicated to killing “what [you] don’t understand.”

But you don’t need subtext to get this film—you just need the text. Belle is mocked in the opening number as strange and believes she doesn’t fit in. The Beast believes none will ever accept him and plays the part of the monster they assume him to be. When the two meet, the Beast sees that he doesn’t have to be what society says he is, that there are those who will look past negative impressions if you only give them a reason to, and he openly and excitedly shares Belle’s “strange” interest in reading with her, never mocking and always supportive. This coming together of two outsiders and the kindness they share when in each other’s company is what the film portrays as romantic—never the bad, hurtful behavior of the Beast acting in the way everyone expects him to.

Of course, it’s up to you if you find the Beast’s behavior when he is playing the part of the monster to be utterly unforgivable. This is fair. But to joke around saying that a story all about overcoming prejudice, of learning to love yourself, of seeing yourself as someone worthy of love and redemption... is actually ultimately a story that romanticizes abuse? It’s a gross mockery and disrespect to everything the film stands for—and a gross mockery and disrespect to those who have been through abuse.

And, honestly, it’s incredibly sad how quick people are to demonize a film---often without even seeing it!---that depicts someone who is “other” deciding to become a better person and learning to love not only another, but more importantly, himself. It’s sad how quick people are to judge a “non-standard” relationship as bad, and sad how it’s so often argued that the only way she could possibly love him is if she has Stockholm syndrome.

#beauty and the beast #disney #serious talk #meta #? #long post #the discourse #probably #blah this is a mess but #i have a lot of feelings about beauty and the beast #i haven't seen the new one yet and well #judging from my blog it's probably clear that i'm not really one into live-action #and that whole production has some stuff that rubs me severely the wrong way #so i don't think i'll be seeing it anytime soon #but if the beast's relationship with belle in it is anything like the 1991 version #i can at least say that i don't think -that- is inherently bad and i seriously dislike all the ragging and disrespectful joking #especially from people who haven't even seen the movie #anyway #a lot more i could say for this but it's long enough as it is so #shut up goop #ramblings #abuse mention

[beyondforks]

Release Day Review! Birthright by Jessica Ruddick

Birthright (Legacy #1) by Jessica Ruddick  Genre: Young Adult (Paranormal Romance) Date Published: March 20, 2017 Publisher: Self

How do you live with yourself when you decide who dies? Ava Parks would have killed for an iPod for her sixteenth birthday. Anything would have been better than coming into her birthright of being a seeker for the Grim Reaper, an arrangement made by her fallen angel ancestor in exchange for his re-admittance to heaven. And she isn’t just any seeker—she finds souls that have the potential for becoming angels and sentences them to death. A year and two souls into her role as a seeker with her conscience overflowing with guilt, Ava comes up with a plan to thwart the system. When it goes awry, she is forced to submit the name of a classmate, Cole Fowler, an ornery, rough around the edges guy who always seems to come to her rescue, whether she likes it or not. Her feelings for Cole prompt her to intervene, and she saves him from death, upsetting the Grim Reaper’s agenda. While Ava schemes to find a way to save Cole, she learns he has some secrets of his own. She lets him believe he is protecting her, and not the other way around, until a final showdown with the Grim Reaper forces Ava to make choices Cole may never forgive.

Birthright is the first book in the Legacy series by Jessica Ruddick. I only have one complaint, so I'll get it over with first, since I hate this part about reviewing. I felt like political agendas were getting thrown at me through Ava's character. Regardless of where you stand on things, these digs were unnecessary. I understand authors want to express their views through their writing. That's a big part of why some people write to begin with, but the repetition of these occurrences made them hard to overlook. It probably wasn't even intentional, because I think the last thing any author would want to do was alienate large portions of their audience. I've had enough of politics, and the whole war between conservatives and liberals. I'm done with it. So, I felt put off after it started feeling like a political agenda was being pushed on me, and honestly, that put a big damper on what I thought was a pretty great story otherwise. With all that being said, I want to give Ava the benefit of the doubt... sooo let's get to the good stuff. Ava has some tremendous inner strength to her, but she has a lot of maturing to do too, and maybe that's why she feels the way she does about certain issues and groups of people. I mean let's face it, life has made her pretty jaded since she found out the truth of what she is. I think Cole helped her along quite a bit. Not just by keeping her safe, but emotionally too. She needs him. I think he needs her too. The author did a fantastic job of immersing me into their lives. I could feel their chemistry and heat through the pages, even when they were in denial about their feelings. The plot itself was imaginative. I feel like there's some kind of corruption going on regarding Xavier and possibly the Reapers, but I'm not sure yet. Xavier is brutal. I really disliked the dude, but I love that his character brought out such strong emotion. I seriously wanted to throttle him. I want to know why they would want to end the lives of good people on only the chance they could be turned into Angels though. It seems like they are trying to destroy all the good people. Is that Xavier's evil plan? Or maybe the plan of someone above(or 'below') him? What I also liked, was even the people who didn't have perfect white auras could still be darn good people. Nobody's perfect right? How do they ever find totally white auras anyway? Everyone is flawed, and this book captured that. I think we've got some crazy and exciting things in store for us within this series. The ARC of Birthright by Jessica Ruddick was kindly provided to me by the author for review. The opinions are my own.

As soon as I opened the front door, the hair on the back of my neck stood up and a tingle ran down my spine. The scent of cinnamon filled my nostrils. It was like having those little candy Red Hots shoved up my nose. Dread in the form of a knot settled in the base of my stomach. Xavier. Xavier was…I wasn’t sure what he was. Was he the descendant of a fallen angel like me? Was he an angel himself? Or was he something else, something more sinister? He certainly looked it. He certainly acted it. He exuded evil. He was lounging on our couch, his arms spread out over the back of it and his right ankle propped on his left knee. His black hair was slicked back, and he’d grown a goatee since the last time I’d seen him. As usual, he was dressed in a black suit with a red tie, what I mentally referred to as his “villain suit.” I couldn’t believe he was the same man who used to read me bedtime stories and tuck me in when my mom had to work nights. A smile stretched across his face and his black beady eyes watched me enter the room. The only thing that could possibly make him more snakelike was if a thin red forked tongue flitted out of his mouth. I’d be less surprised than if a hippo flounced around my living room in a pink tutu in true Fantasia style. My mom sat stiffly on a chair across from him. It was our home, but Xavier was in control here. Her eyes met mine, and she shrugged her shoulders slightly. She had no idea why he was here either. We hadn’t expected him for at least a couple more months. “Welcome home, Ava,” Xavier said. “Why don’t you have a seat?” “No, thanks. I’ll stand.” He chuckled. “Suit yourself.” Xavier took a moment to inspect his cuticles, as if he weren’t in the middle of our living room, as if we weren’t waiting for him to say whatever it was he came to say so he would leave again. I’d say he was oblivious to the effect he had on us, but that wouldn’t be true. He knew, and he relished it. I crossed my arms over my chest. “What do you want?” He raised his eyebrows. “Is that any way to treat a guest in your home?” He looked at my mother. “You should really teach her better manners.” I laughed bitterly. “Calling yourself a guest implies that you’re wanted here.” “Ava,” my mom said, her tone sharp. Xavier just threw his head back and laughed. “No, Mary, let the little vixen spew her venom. I like it. It’s honest. Honesty is underrated in society today, don’t you agree?” I glared at him. “I have your next assignment.” My glare faltered as I fought to keep the air moving in and out of my lungs. An assignment from Xavier meant the blood of an innocent would be on my hands again. When I said I worked for the Grim Reaper, that was oversimplifying it a bit. There’s actually more than one. Think about it—with all the people who die every day in the world, how could there possibly be just one? The particular Grim Reaper I worked for was special, though. He collected souls that were worthy of being angels. It was my job as a seeker to find those souls. How’s that for an after school job? “Forgive me, Xavier, but isn’t it a little soon?” my mom said quietly. “She hasn’t even had a chance to get settled in her new school.” He glanced at her before returning his attention to me. “She can handle it. Besides, it’s time.” “But her last assignment was just last month!” my mom protested. “Are you sure—” “I’m very sure.” I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. The knot of dread in my stomach exploded, seeping into the rest of my body. I breathed deeply, desperately trying to keep control. The last thing I wanted was to lose it in front of Xavier. “How long do I have?” “Two weeks.” Two weeks. I had two weeks to put a plan into motion that would change lives irrevocably. My classmates’ faces popped into my mind. I hadn’t bothered getting to know anyone or even learning names. I told myself it was easier that way, easier being a relative term. But did any of them have a white aura? When I was at school, I always blocked them out. Otherwise, the barrage of auras became a colorful assault on my senses. School was difficult enough as it was. I didn’t need the added distraction. Moving around so much had left gaps in my education, so even though I was pretty smart, I perpetually struggled to maintain decent grades. Why I even bothered anymore was a mystery, though. I would probably end up a waitress just like my mother. It was hard to develop a career or even think about college with our transient lifestyle. I squared my shoulders and looked Xavier in the eye, faking the bravado I lacked. “I guess I’ll see you in two weeks.”

Jessica Ruddick is a 2014 Golden Heart finalist for her new adult novel, Letting Go, which was inspired by her own college experiences. She lives in Virginia and is married to her college sweetheart—their first date was a fraternity toga party (and nothing inspires love like a toga, right?). When she doesn’t have her nose in a book or her hands on a keyboard, she can be found wrangling her two rambunctious sons, taming two rowdy but lovable rescue dogs, and battling the herd of dust bunnies that have taken up residence in her home. To learn more about Jessica Ruddick and her books, visit her website.You can also find her on Goodreads, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.

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#Jessica Ruddick #Legacy #young adult #paranormal romance #book review #birthright #Teaser #excerpt #arc