Enoch Drebber's Machinery Puns: A List
Because I was immediately charmed by them, and want to see how many he actually drops throughout the case. Almost all of his lines have colored text emphasis somewhere (a quirk which I love) but I'm not replicating that here, instead I'm bolding the puns/references.
Sadly, he did this progressively less throughout the case, but there's still a good few!
"You're all gearing up to die with me, then?"
"You've found me, haven't you? No need to screw me down any further."
"What fails to click with me..."
"When I heard whistling from the other room, I knew it was time to bolt."
"Clearly I must have a screw loose, though, as I couldn't remember the combination for the safe."
"Well...I had no intention of being nailed by the police."
"They wield so-called 'special powers' in an attempt to grind down our freedoms."
"I just wasn't expecting uninvited guests to come along and screw up my plans."
"But your seemingly endless discourse in here threw a spanner in the works."
"...hard to pin down, I would say."
"...But that has no bearing on this trial, I assure you. Cleave it from your mind."
"If a hypothesis is sound, it can always be forged into a physical manifestation...with sufficient skill."
"Hard to gauge. But the point is, all I did was construct the machine according to the blueprints I was given."
"But there was one important provision bolted onto that clause."
"I came here to testify about the machine I built, and instead my reputation is defiled."
"Of course. You'd have to have a screw loose if you believed a corpse could come back from the dead."
"Obviously, as time ticked on, I bitterly regretted what I'd done."
"Surely you only need to look at the graveyard scene and my appearance to gauge the answer to that?"
"We students were caught between the hammer and the anvil. We needed funds for research."
"After all...resurrection is impossible, isn't it? You'd have to be unhinged to think otherwise."
"The point is, that night was a pivotal moment in my life."
"The university's reputation was execrably defiled, and I was expelled as a result."
"I can only assume it was an embellishment bolted on later by the reporter."
"Personally, I wasn't one of those geniuses. So it was hardly a wrench."
"Why on earth would you buckle now?"
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I have unwittingly witnessed a new level of the absurd. Behold, the AI-generated equine anatomy models.
Ah yes, my favourite parts of the equine body. Paster and... *looks at the smudged writing on hand* boob. At least this one looks purely decorative and the being actually looks like a horse. But don't worry, it gets worse.
If we completely ignore the hipopotamus musculature of this one, there's still a lot of things that don't make sense in this one, like a tail that ends in a series of bone spikes and a complete lack of molars. You could make a cool pokemon on the basis of this, but it's not even in the realm of being an actual anatomy help.
I'm firmly convinced this is not a horse, this is something that really, really wants you to think it is a horse. The more you look, the more things look... wrong. The more details turn out to be shifted, bones crammed in to fill in the familiar form, its shape merely implied so that the human mind fills the gap. Of course the text seems like gibberish, because its anatomy is incomprehensible. it's either a parasite or a monster and in each case, it's an eldtrich body horror. I'm kind of angry at how well this joke writes itself.
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