#allex rambles

[allexiaah]

I know it doesn't matter too much and that it's just my blog and people don't really follow me for original posts, because I hardly make them.

But I got my first job!!! I started training yesterday and I go back in today! I'm very happy and even though I know it won't feel this way forever I'm very excited about it. And to have money

#allex rambles #I'm gonna have money!!!! yippee!!! #maybe a dumb post but im proud of myself and wanna yell ab it

[boneeatingbird]

My mom is having me move out some of my books because we're living in a very small place, and it's impossible to keep all of them with me. I know this. There's 863 books of mine in storage from our last move, and that number was once 1,092 before we left. Now I have 45 books in a tiny storage space under my bed. And now it is time to find room for them to go to storage for the next ones like one of those butterfly life charts.

But my mom wants some to be thrown out. A few of the more holy ones donated. Ok ok so I might be like a sentimental piece of crap. Or maybe like a hoarder. But how can you tell me to get rid of my books? I don't know how to tell her, someone who just reads for the book's story, about all the other people in my books.

All of these books except a small handful I no longer have are 2nd hand. They're frayed and their bindings are cracked and brittle. Some of them have bookmarks older than I am, and some have scribbles from children I'll never meet. I can tell you honestly that I've lost count of the number of books with handwriting in them, weather it be a relative's well wishes or the reader's thoughts.

Every story i read has another story in it. This one book has childhood scribbles in it from a kid who got their hand's on a parent's book. It has little scribbles and sentences with terrible grammar that say, with many more letters, 'I love my mommy!'

This other book is falling apart at the seams. It's a Good Omens book, one of my favorites I have. Half the pages in the first section have fallen out (and have obviously fallen out many times before if the tape and glue says anything) and some pages have ripples in the paper from tears. Which I'll admit I've added to myself.

And this other book? This book belonged to a library that when I looked for it doesn't exist anymore. It has a sleeve paper on the front with names on it, ranging from normal names to Greasy Gus and Laffy Taffy. Some pages inside have highlighted sections at random, and I'm ashamed to admit that it once had sticky notes inside that I accidentally made fall out when I dropped it.

I can tell you right now some of these books have lived past their author's funerals and have seen their owners pass away quietly before being tossed into a 2nd & Charles free bin with some random mail and highschool text books. These books will outlive me given the chance to continue to age.

I'm not sure if this explains it exactly, I know it didn't for my mother, but all of these little things feel special. They feel like little pieces of someone's soul where they were open and vulnerable because they know a book won't judge them for crying or for adding color to its pages. There was a person that loved these books enough to destroy them. How could I get rid of something that has so much live and pain and wonder inside it? Mom how can I face myself knowing I left a little girls 'I love you's to rot away in a landfill?

I know our time too short for this, and someone won't extend the same reverence to the books I've left myself behind in the same way. Maybe the real world is more important. And maybe these people will never know how much they were loved by a stranger. But they were. They were loved and maybe it's foolish but I want my short time spent treating these souls with the delicate affection they deserve that the paperless world doesn't really allow.

Idk it's really dumb, and definitely takes up too much space. And it's definitely really silly to like everyone around me xD Guess i just wanted to get a little rant out before I have to manoeuvre these books in to storage without breaking them.

#rambles #books #sentimental #like weirdly sentimental #sorry for being cringe #old books #mother: no books for you allex #me: but mom the dead people inside them #mom: bruh wtf #i like big books and i cannot lie #i also like old books #2nd hand books #mainly #anyway #time to hyperfixate

[hannie-dul-set]

screams.

#HELLO MORE PEACH TREE RAMBLINGS WITH YOURS TRULY. #im gonna try my best to be as vague as possible but hello ?! how i want to write this part rn at this very moment ?! #most of this is in yn's pov and this scene is one of the limit ones from jaemin and HNNNNNNNN #mmsnnxks #lord lord LORDDD. #i'm just very excited okay HAHAHHAHA he is very blunt in his thoughts #allex yells

[the-erickson-labrynthian]

MY BOOK HAS BEEN PUBLISHED

For the last four years of my life, I have dreamed of becoming a published author. It all started with a hefty manuscript I wrote freshman year, a 90000 word hot mess that I threw in the trash to start again. And again. And again. Dozens of ideas and scripts have came and went, but now, today, I change all of that. This is NATHAN: and the Allex Cube, a novella that has been my pride and joy for the last few months since I wrote it. It's everything I hoped it would be and more. And, I would be honored if anyone were to help support me by purchasing it. It may not be the best, it's a self-published Amazon book that I could only do so much with, but it means a lot to me. It marks the beginning of my hopefully long career as an author. It's... well, it is almost everything to me. Like the small spark before the bursting flame, I see it, that passion building up inside me. I have to let it out. I have to follow my dreams. I hope anyone here would help to see me through this. But, no more rambling, that's what my novella is for. Buy it for $9.99 on Ebook, or, what I recommend, on Paperback to have a physical copy with you. I only hope you enjoying reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you, I hope to only continue on in the future.

Credit to @manic-mediocrity-zone​ for making all of this possible. A great person, and a great artist. Follow him, because he made this happen.

Link to Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/197349504X

#book #new book #my book #Nathan and the Allex Cube #books #I hope you'll read it #reading #writing #write #writer #author #I am a real author now #It feels great #science #fiction #fantasy #sci-fi & fantasy #sci-fi #science fiction #characters #character study #Amazon #publishing #published book #publishing a book #I am now a published author #and it feels amazing

[allexiaah]

Aspecs of all kinds are part of the LBTQ+ community and this will not change just because some people can't grasp the concept, or because they enjoy being a gatekeeping trashbag.

Asexuals, demi-aces, grey-aces and anyone under the ace umbrella is part of the LGBTQ+ community if they want to be. Aromantics, demi-aros, grey-aros and anyone under the aro umbrella is part of the LGBTQ+ community if they want to be.

Regardless of whether or not they are one, the other or both, all aspecs are a part of the LGBTQ+ community whether you like it or not and no amount of petty internet high-school mean girl bullying shit will change that. None. Anyone who thinks otherwise is WRONG.

#allex rambles #LGBTQ #ace #aro #no fucking ace discourse anywhere near me or ill stomp you to death with my hooves #sorry im feeling some kind of way tonight so I'm affirming myself and hopefully anyone else who has nights like these #maybe some self affirmation might get the feeling out of my chest #and hopefully help others #happy pride month to my self loathing brain lol #vent #idk

[allexiaah]

Ew so Tumblr live is a thing for me now. How do I turn it off again

#allex rambles #gross its in the middle of my bar. gross

[allexiaah]

You work for a week and go "oh this isn't so bad" and then you go in for the second week and all of a sudden you wouldn't be entirely opposed to the entire building burning down

#allex rambles #idk todays just bleh but good lord #if having a job isnt making it worse lmao

[allexiaah]

So my friends have egged me into listening to The Magnus Archives, and I had the perfect time to start during late night road trips the last 2 days. And so far I'm really enjoying it!! Only up to episode 17.

The funniest part thus far though has been IMMEDIATELY recognizing the name "JURGEN Leitner" and hearing "IS HE DEAD? IS HE A BASTARD?" in my head and losing my mind internally about it. I don't know shit, not even a fuck (except what friends have told me/what I've seen on my dash via osmosis) and I'm losing it. I can't wait to learn why he has so many Fucked Up Books.

#allex rambles #tma spoilers #tma posting #i know i have a few tma mutuals. not sure if i should liveblog the rest of my listening or not #but im enjoying it!! #ik a bit about the fears so far so it's neat to be able to theorize about what they might be #Dreaming (ep 11) was captivating to me #and yes maybe i was half asleep in a hotel bed for it which may or may not have added. but still #very much enjoying myself. will listen to more

[allexiaah]

I am so sorry for all of my followers who have to watch their dashes get obliterated every time the Rot takes hold. Godspeed soldiers o7

#fixation-induced craze for 5 hours and i come to and realize I've reblogged 100 pieces of fanart of the exact same characters #allex rambles #i never really use the queue. but i did a little last night

[allexiaah]

It’s game time babey!!!

#allex rambles #Very excited to try this!!! :D #I've ONLY heard good things #My friends have said REALLY good things just now too!! #One says there's a character they think i'll really like #Which is very promising :] #GOD rose tysm I'm so hyped to start this!!! #I'll prolly liveblog it

[allexiaah]

Set it off mutuals where are you. I have just been informed that there’s a HATSUNE MIKU VERSION of “Why Do I”. Is this new?? Someone please

#allex rambles #set it off #IM SO LOST #most ambitious crossover

[allexiaah]

Tumblr user Allexiaah I'm bored pls send kitty pics

PFT I'm just getting to this now and oh my god Dialga i'm so sorry, because I know you sent this to me 6 days ago with my actual name in the ask, and i answered it privately to say "don't doxx me" and then you sent this one, and then i just.. completely left it for 6 days.

I offer a couple of kitty pics. Six days late, but still!

I love her <3 She's such a sweetheart

#ask #dialga64bitz #cats #personal #allex rambles #She's such a little baby!! She loves to scream at us for food 24/7 #I hope these cat pics are sufficient lol

[allexiaah]

April first might just be the strangest (worst?) day to go to a funeral

#allex rambles #purely because seeing everyone else get so goofy when you feel so weird is just... a rollercoaster ride #i do not think i have ever been as tired in my whole life as i was last night after getting home #this week has busted my kneecaps mentally

[allexiaah]

I’ve had these in my inbox for a good few weeks now and every time I see them I lose my mind. These are quite possibly the best AND worst asks I’ve ever received. Amazing

#allex rambles #i know who sent them now but #god! what a wild two asks to get LOL #fantastic #im not complaining for sure #i was just BAFFLED #ill take someone wanting to #and i quote #'slonk my shit silly style like sloppy swag' #over anon hate every day of my life

[allexiaah]

Pride parade yesterday was fantastic!! I was smiling and cheering like a dork the whole time. It was amazing to see everyone and all the different flags. Was gorgeous and my heart felt like it was going to explode (in a good way, lol) There was a spot in the parade for the society of [my province] asexuals and aromantics!! I didn’t even know that was a thing but god it was so nice to see. Very sad I didn’t get good pictures of them as they came past, but I was too busy feeling so warm and fuzzy i guess, lol. They gave me a handout which I was glad to get!!

Before them I saw one person on the back of a car waving a tiny lil ace flag, and i brought my HUUGE one that i draped over my legs the whole time, and I caught that person’s eye. My best friend who came with me said that my face just lit UP when that person and I saw each other, lol. We made eye contact and I waved so excitedly at them, and they looked so happy too and waved their flag, and I waved mine back. It was so indescribable, how that felt, but it was really really good and it made me feel like crying. <3 <3 I’m glad I had that moment

Seeing all the gay, trans, bi, pan, ace, aro, hell, even a few demi flags and blue-green gay flags?? It was all so nice, and so meaningful to see and be in the midst of. Seeing so many people so proud to raise a flag that they resonate so much with and feel is representative of and belongs to them? Having the pride to do that? I can’t be anything but so unbelievably proud that we’re all here, to have that. Feeling such a strong sense of community that you and others are willing to give hugs to otherwise complete strangers purely because of that sense of kinship and solidarity? I’ve never experienced anything quite like it, and it’s wonderful. There’s not words for it, really.

I’m very very glad that the parade happened again this year after so many without it because of covid, because I think I really needed that. I feel much less alone after it. Much love to absolutely ALL of my fellow LGBTQIA+ friends out there in the world, and I mean ALL of you. We’re something special, and what we have is worth protecting.

#allex rambles #lgbtq #god #fuck. #that was so meaningful to me #thinking about it now makes me want to cry #i saw one of my friends walking through the parade and they came up and i got to give them a hug too!! #that was so good. god #fuck. getting there and getting back? absolutely miserable. fuck public transit im pissed it isnt better #but being there? auuauagh #im feeling so sappy and #seeing all the nonbinary and ace and aro flags? i felt so seen #personal

[allexiaah]

i think that maybe i am way too intense when it comes to things that hold value to me being ridiculed or seen strangely, but at the same time i think i’m not in the wrong and i think that yes. i should just spit on the name of anyone who wants to swing first

#allex rambles #tbd #personal #god idfk what this even means #that i am very very quick to act on shit when it involves what matters to me being shown poorly perhaps #idk #hard to word #but i think at this point i fuckin deserve a 'one strike you're out' with literally anybody being shitty so