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sunderwight · 5 months

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had a thought of what if Airplane had leaned a little more into the self-insert idea for Luo Binghe when he was still at the early stages of writing, with an end result that Luo Binghe actually Looks Like That because he basically looks like Airplane but with long flowing hair and a more idealized figure

SQQ going "why the fuck did you make his face so pretty???" and Airplane bullshitting about plausibility while trying really hard not to blush. twisting his fingers and scuffing his toe like jeez bro he's not that good-looking...

which of course sets SQQ off because how DARE!?! not 'that' good-looking?!?! just look at him! he's xianxia Helen of Troy with a face that launched a thousand harems! like okay sure with looks like that it does make sense that half the female population was willing to timeshare a marriage with him, but it's also totally unfair to SQQ, who has no recourse against those looks either! and who could? that is the most beautiful face ever!

Airplane's getting flustered. tries valiantly to make the case that objectively speaking Luo Binghe isn't that good-looking, it's just that SQQ is biased, but boy does that not go over well. SQQ has hitched the tattered remnants of his self-perception as a straight man onto the idea that Luo Binghe is just so devastatingly attractive anyone would want to hop into bed with him, and he is not letting go of it, so Airplane is just gonna get wrecked with inadvertent compliments

bonus if the Shang Qinghua look is actually the result of several illusions because when Airplane first transmigrated in, he got the same face too, and foresaw potential problems if the half-demon protagonist turned up looking like him. so he used illusions. he doesn't actually look all that different, in fact! the illusions just make it so that when people see him, they get a strong impression that he's unremarkable, so they don't really register what his face actually looks like and their brains fill in the assumption that he must just be kinda plain

oooh ooh double bonus if the system inserted a behind-the-scenes explanation for it too, which is that Shang Qinghua is actually unwittingly related to Su Xiyan!

and the whole thing comes to light post-epilogue when Shang Qinghua's illusions get stripped away by some monster-of-the-week, while everyone except Mobei Jun has a freak out about why do you look just like Luo Binghe?! (Mobei Jun isn't freaking out because he already figured out how to see past the illusions and just assumed everyone else wasn't mentioning it for some human cultural reason or something) and then Yue Qingyuan calmly explains that Luo Binghe's mom is Shang Qinghua's matrilineal cousin. Shang Qinghua's mother and Luo Binghe's human grandmother were half-sisters.

what? how does Yue Qingyuan know? you think that Cang Qiong doesn't check up on the candidates for the peak lord positions before handing off power, doesn't make sure there are no conflicts of interest or divided loyalties to other sects? what sorts of things do people imagine Qiong Ding's diplomats do? (I don't know either but, for the purpose of this scenario at least some of it is tracking down this stuff -- YQY handled most of it personally for his generation's ascension because he didn't want anyone else digging into his and Xiao Jiu's pasts) anyways, the connection could have been troublesome for its ties to Huan Hua Palace, but by the time it came to light Su Xiyan was deceased and there was no evidence that Shang Qinghua had ever even met her. so it wasn't deemed significant enough to matter, was just made note of and then mostly forgotten

so Shang Qinghua is like "oh THAT is why you kept bringing her up to me back then?!" because at the time he'd just been fully in "haha how would I know anything about the impending plot and the tragedies I am both partly responsible for and powerless to prevent haha that's so funny shixiong I KNOW NOTHING" mode, which luckily at the time was easily read as him just not wanting a dead cousin he never met to tank his chances of securing a promotion

SQQ is floored. he is having issues about this. Shang Qinghua is related to Binghe? Shang Qinghua looks exactly like him?! wait. Binghe has human family? still alive? like grandparents and stuff out there, who might want to meet him...?

Luo Binghe decides to step in at that point because he does not want to meet any more relatives! no more surprise relatives! no!

luckily this distracts Shen Qingqiu from thinking about all of the things he's said to Airplane about Binghe's looks for long enough for Shang Qinghua to flee the scene

#svsss #scum villain's self saving system #bingqiu #moshang #cumplane #well kinda cumplane anyway #by implication #long post #what if sqh can't get his illusions back up #everyone keeps bothering him even more now to ask why he's hot all of a sudden #it's even worse than when they just used to bother him about fixing broken doors or balancing budgets #sqq is not gonna be normal about this #'you said binghe wasn't a self-insert!!!' 'well by the end he definitely wasn't...' 'were you this hot irl? why were you poor?!'#'wtf is that supposed to mean...?' 'with these looks you surely could have found somebody willing to support you!'#'bro are you asking me why I wasn't a sugar baby?!' 'of course not!' 'you totally are asking me why I wasn't a sugar baby'#'...but you must have gotten offers' 'only from the hot single ladies near me on my computer and they were all viruses'#etc etc etc so on and so forth the usual insane banter those two have

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infinite-infinite-stars · 4 months

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What if... Who Killed Markiplier... but it's Ace Attorney Investigations...

"Ace District Attorney Investigations", if you will.

(Everything you see here was drawn by me, with some backgrounds/that one evidence photo being either screenshots from the show, or edits of official photographs of Mythea Castle, where WKM was filmed)

#who killed markiplier #wkm #ace attorney investigations #wkm fanart #wkm district attorney #captainsona #captain yona masters #''a burgundy-wearing prosecutor teaming up with a kooky detective? now why does that sound familiar- OH YEAH!''#anyway you guys ever notice that the da from what we're shown is a pretty piss-poor investigator?#they just kinda wander around aimlessly and allow people to shoo them away before offering up any information #like their alibis or lack thereof #it doesn't exactly help that wkm is a choose your own adventure without any choices #and I know mark's team was limited on budget and time or whatever and they meant for it to be more involved than what we got!#it's not their fault!#but still you can't deny that what we got isn't very satisfying as far as murder mysteries go #and I don't feel all that compelled to pretend otherwise!#so in the version of wkm that exists in MY head #da!yona is going to take the prospect of solving her dear friend's murder SERIOUSLY goddammit!#(the conclusion she's gearing up towards in the last two pictures #is that the party was a cover for mark's plan to kill the colonel; but it obviously backfired and mark wound up getting killed instead)#(that's her theory. as we all know it's not /quite/ accurate to what really happened but it's pretty close!)#(obviously she's unaware of any supernatural element to the whole thing at this point)#(or heck maybe in this version of events there actually isn't a supernatural element at all and she's right. I haven't decided)

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jahiera · 7 months

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listen it's very. even when playing gale's romance I am guaranteed several solid cutscenes of Astarion talking about his life, his perceptions of things, his ideas; the bite scene, the after that, the talking about your companions blood, the proposition, all the little conversations about being a vampire + how to become a vampire + what life was like that have several dialogue options. whereas these same "stock" conversations with the other companions tend to have ONE, maybe two dialogues with choices following if that much (for example, with Karlach it tends to be 1. ask question 2. she answers and it ends). there's a solid foundation of pacing and work put into astarion's storyline that even without his romance, his presence WILL be felt unless you just straight up never speak to him. which is to say, that THAT writing is really good! but if they couldn't uphold that same standard of effort and time across the board and ensure all the companions have some measure of equality, theeeeeen... something shouldve been done there to make sure it was at least somewhat equal. it also sucks that gale/wyll/lae'zel/shadowheart were all received ""poorly"" in contrast to astarion during EA (or received harsher critique anyways). I still believe there was a lot of solid character work and richness to their EA personalities that I dont know totally carried over in rewrites--decreasing the amount of conflict, lessening the "flaws" of these characters--contrary to what larian says about staying true to their core ideas in some places. so it sucks that you can see how with that effort and focus, astarion's storyline really is really well done for the kind of game that it is, and no one is saying bg3 is wanting for stuff to do, but there is a clear gap in effort and time put into the other companions when they absolutely deserved just as much time and effort as astarion, and the thing is. the writer confirmed it! confirmed that more time was put into him. like cmon man

#it's just not funnyyyyy #it's extremely disappointing just in terms of Designing The Narrative that several companions got the shaft #Now of course there are lots of compounding factors here; budget; time; voice-acting and mocap; etc. all costs I Know #but it still doesn't negate that it was confirmed that at least there was a focus on him that wasnt quite there #with the others #baudelaire welch was the senior narrative designer iirc and I know crutch sucks but like. cmon #you had a job there to ensure there was some measure of equality across the cast #and this isn't even getting into halsin who I'm pretty sure was written in an afternoon with no overview of #what was being put out #ANYHOW. I love the game love the cast love the characters. I will fix the pacing. in my brain #critical /

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malt-rants-and-stuff · 9 days

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Kagihira Post Chapter 23b Webweave

!!!!! BEWARE OF SPOILERS !!!!!

Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 21 / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 12 / @/perfectfeelings / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 10.5 / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 21 / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 18 / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 20 / @/perfectquote / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 11 / @/thepersonalquotes / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 23b / @/moderndaymystic / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 23b / @/perfectquote / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 23b / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 23b / @/soracities / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 23b / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 20 / @/moonlitfairytale / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 20.6 / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 8 / @/soracities / Hirano to Kagiura Chapter 8 / @/feral-ballad

#low budget low quality webweave for all your kagihira needs #hirano to kagiura #yes i did sneak shirahama in there what of it #hirano and kagiura #hirano taiga #kagiura akira #hirano to kagiura spoilers #htk 23b #webweave #malt rants #kagihira #hirakagi #manga spoilers #edit: forgot the chapter credits oops

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 6 months

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hey remember that caramel-carmel Fake Script i was writing? yeah it's technically not done but i'm tired of tinkering with it so here it is! we'll just say it's a uhhhh uncovered partial script or somethin

this is not in any way official! it's a 100% unaffiliated fanwork & i am Just Fucking Around for Funsies

BARNABY: oh, I love carmul!

FRANK: [long, disgusted pause] …what?

BARNABY: Carmul! You know, those tasty little treats you’re holdin’!

FRANK: You mean caramel?

BARNABY: That’s what I said.

FRANK: [scoffs] No, you didn’t. You said carmul.

BARNABY: We’re sayin’ the same thing here.

FRANK: We absolutely are not!

JULIE: [giggles] You really aren’t.

BARNABY: Carmul, caramel, tomato, tomahto! What does it matter!

FRANK: [flustered, stammering] It - it matters! Julie, you agree with me, don’t you?

JULIE: Well… I don’t know, Frank! I think both are fun!

FRANK: You’re both wrong, then! Wally, you agree with me, don’t you?

WALLY: [hesitant] …I say carmul.

FRANK: No! Not you too! How could you poison him like this, Barnaby?

BARNABY: Don’t look at me! I’m innocent, honest!

FRANK: Ha! So you admit that carmul is the wrong pronunciation!

BARNABY: [groans] ah, geez… throw a dog a bone!

FRANK: I’d be delighted to if you’d just-

[distant yelp as Eddie trips off-screen]

FRANK: Eddie! Thank goodness, finally someone who can put an end to this debate!

EDDIE: [nervous laugh] Oh no, what did I stumble into this time?

BARNABY: Hold on a tic, Frank. Hey Ed, take this. What do you call that tasty treat?

EDDIE: [with a tinge of fear] A… caramel?

FRANK: [triumphant] a-HA!

SALLY: [approaching] Did someone mention carmul?

FRANK: AGH!

BARNABY: [delighted] Perfect timing, Sally!

SALLY: What, for a delicious morsel? Hand it over, thank you!

FRANK: You’re all wrong, and I’ll prove it! We’re going to go around the neighborhood and - wait. [under his breath] One two three four - [returns to normal volume] we’re taking this to Poppy’s!

BARNABY: Then Home, then Howdy, yeah yeah - might as well ask the daisies, too.

JULIE: Oooh, and the butterflies!

SALLY: While we’re at it, we should phone everyone in the book, just to get the widest audience input.

FRANK: [unamused] You all think you’re so funny.

EDDIE: Well, you gotta admit it’s… it’s…

[brief, tense pause. Eddie clears his throat]

EDDIE: It’s perfectly sensible!

[Frank makes an affronted noise]

FRANK: Poppy will see sense.

POPPY: I’d be delighted to have a cah-mehl, but I’m afraid it-

FRANK: [aghast, truly astonished] You’re joking. You have to be joking. CAH-MEHL? Does no one in this town have sense?! Besides Eddie, of course. And Julie - on a technicality.

EDDIE: [oddly pleased] Why thank you.

POPPY: My goodness, did- did I say it wrong?

BARNABY: [gleeful] Not in the least, Pops!

SALLY: As far as I’m concerned, you added an extra layer of… pizazz to the word. In fact, I may adjust my own pronunciation accordingly!

POPPY: [flustered] Oh, well, I didn’t - don’t change on my account -

SALLY: Take the compliment, Poppy.

POPPY: [meekly] Thank you.

[Sally wanders from the group, practicing the slightly adjusted pronunciation]

WALLY: I’m not sure I understand. What’s wrong with carmul or… care… mul… carmel…

POPPY: Don’t strain yourself dear, you’ll get a migraine.

FRANK: What’s wrong is that it’s ENTIRELY incorrect! It! Is! Pronounced! Caramel!

JULIE: Aww, Frank, I’m sure Home and Howdy will agree with us! Team Caramel, WOOO!

BARNABY: [barely restrained disbelief] Boy, won’t they!

POPPY: I’m not sure what the fuss is about… there isn’t much of a difference, is there?

[Frank makes a high pitched, frustrated noise and stomps off. He can be heard calling Home’s name in the background]

JULIE: Oop, there he goes!

POPPY: Oh - oh dear. I didn’t mean to rile him up.

BARNABY: Don’t twist your beak about it - Frank’s just bein’ Frank. Now if you’ll excuse us, I wanna see how it goes with Home.

WALLY: [quietly, thoughtful] But Home doesn’t talk like us…

POPPY: If you’re sure… Do let me know how it goes.

SALLY: [swaying back to the group] I’ll phone you post-haste! Or even better, I can come by for one of your delicious muffins and regale you with the whole escapade, in detail.

POPPY: [audibly pleased] That sounds - well that sounds like a wonderful idea! I have some fresh from this morning-

BARNABY: Sounds great! See you around, Poppy.

FRANK: Home, I have an important question to ask you. Is the correct pronunciation for this candy ‘carmul’, or ‘caramel’? One creak for caramel, two for the incorrect carmul.

BARNABY: Talk about a bias…

[Home stays silent. Sally yawns.]

FRANK: One creak for caramel, two-

[Home slowly shuts their curtains]

FRANK: Hmph! The nerve… well, I suppose a house that can’t speak shouldn’t have a say, anyway.

WALLY: Home can speak. He just does it differently.

BARNABY: And I’m pretty sure they just agreed with me, Walls, an’ Sally.

JULIE: They did not!

BARNABY: Looked like it to me!

SALLY: I have to agree with Julie. Home just declared itself a neutral party, and so the vote can’t be counted either way. On to Howardson!

JULIE: Yes! Howdy! Our last hope!

FRANK: He may have terrible taste in company, but he’s a sensible businessman. Poppy and Home have let me-

JULIE: Us!

FRANK: -us down, but surely Howdy will back us up.

BARNABY: [faux-serious tone, knows something they don’t] Absolutely. Without a doubt.

[store bell chimes]

HOWDY: Howdy-do - [brief pause, a tinge of surprise] everyone! My my, what brings the entire neighborhood to my bountiful bodega? Finally decided to clean me out for good?

BARNABY: [snorts] With how fast you restock? I think I’d break my funnybone!

FRANK: We have important business.

HOWDY: [mildly curious] Do we? That’s news to me! But I’m letting you know now that I don’t deal in bugs, Frankly. It’d be hypocritical.

FRANK: Believe me, I wish I were here to talk insects. Unfortunately, I need to settle a score. Mr. Dear, if you would?

EDDIE: If I would what?

SALLY: [stage-whisper] Barnabello gave you the, ah, parcel earlier?

EDDIE: The…? Oh! Oh, right - I have it right here, just… give me a second… which pocket…? There we go.

[sound of a small, hard candy placed on the countertop]

HOWDY: A carmul all for me? You shouldn’t have! No, really, you shouldn’t have. I’m on the clock.

BARNABY: [loud bark of laughter] I knew I could count on you, pal! So what’s the tally, Frankie?

[Frank mutters something inaudible]

BARNABY: What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me bein’ right!

FRANK: [explosive] You’re all wrong! The correct pronunciation is caramel, CARAMEL! You’re all - you’re all just - heathens! Heathens, I say! I’m taking my company elsewhere!

EDDIE: Mr. Frankly…

JULIE: [overlapping, following] Aw, c’mon Frank!

[the door jingles. Julie and Frank’s hushed arguing in the doorway underlies the dialogue]

HOWDY: It sounds like I missed quite the context! Mind filling me in?

BARNABY: That was pretty much it; a real potato potahto argument.

HOWDY: If you say so, Barn. Speaking of potahtos-

[the background argument abruptly cuts off, the door jingles again as it's closed]

FRANK: [rapidly rejoining the group] Hold it! You don’t really say potahto, do you?

BARNABY: [under breath] Here we go again…

SALLY: [deeply amused] Where on Earth did you pick up such a butchered pronunciation? I must have missed the sign on my tour down from the heavens.

EDDIE: [baffled, underlying the dialogue] I’ve never heard anyone say it that way.

JULIE: Oh! Is it a joke? Like, Barnaby says potato-potahto, and then you jokingly say potahto to make us laugh?

HOWDY: It’s not a joke. That’s how it’s said.

FRANK: [genuinely disturbed] No - no one says that. It’s potato.

HOWDY: Well I say potahto, thank you very much! And if you ever want one from my store again, you’d do well to accept that.

[Various grumbles of reluctant acceptance]

HOWDY: Good. Now, can I get any of you a refreshing drink after such a squall? You must be parched!

WALLY: I wouldn’t mind a glass of mulk.

[Horrified silence. A pin drop would be deafening]

[Sudden uproarious and overlapping argument]

#consider this a low budget dollar store fanfic #didnt want to write an actual fic so Just The Dialogue Works Fine #anyway ive never tried to write a script-adjacent Anything so have mercy on me #i dont know what im doing ever! im having fun anyways!#and for the record! im team carmul #well all pronunciations are valid in my book but i say carmul #always have always will dont know why dont know how #my parents tried to make me say it 'caramel' growing up and uhhh No <3 #its fuckin carmul to me. To Me.#i dont say potahto tho. who the fuck does that who isnt a 50s mob boss in jersey #if a 50s mob boss in jersey is reading this: you'll never catch me alive #absolutely unprompted #welcome home #hmmm i should have a writing tag at this point #yk what ill just reuse - wait no i cant reuse the one from my dc sideblog #oh fuck it we'll stay on theme #snippets from the bog #yeah this little writing thing has been in my docs for like.#checking my nonexistent watch here. mmmmmmdont know. a while #and im slightly terrified to post!#its one thing posting art - posting any sort of writing is like breaking your ribs open with a crab cracker #and saying Hi! Have A Taste! I Hope My Viscera Isn't Completely Disgusting!#my god i hope they're at least acceptably in character. im trying im trying #i hope this gives someone a laugh!#or at least a hearty Chortle #or... blowing air through your nose in amusement. yes

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stupitunclehal · 9 months

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heavy sigh. parts 1 and 2. checked my phone so we're hopefully free from the penis curse at last.

#long post #these come in two varieties really: 'sylvain is a trainwreck and a whore'#and 'dimitri is thirty seconds from starting an international incident'#anyway #my shit #fe #fe3h #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #sylvain jose gautier #felix hugo fraldarius #claude von riegan #balthus von albrecht #annette fantine dominic #mercedes von martritz #dedue molinaro #ashe ubert #hubert von vestra #in whatever capacity they may appear! we all know the main course here #yes the faerghan national budget is the equivalent of like 4400 USD what of it I'm probably #being real fucking generous knowing faerghus #I'm not explaining hubert's internet searches my friend and I keep joking that he has the chops to be a fantastic wedding planner #but he's also a weird little ghoulish thoseferatu poisoner so he's damned to being the sinister court mage (affectionate) (subverted)

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thebramblewood · 15 days

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EIGHTIES, Part II Requested by @moonwoodhollow Featuring Grace Anansi

Continuing the goth trend (because I couldn't seem to find inspiration in anything else) by paying homage to the Mistress of the Dark.

#sims 4 #simblr #ts4 #the zhaoverse #grace anansi #this one stumped me good 😭#i tried putting her in a more everyday '80s outfit but it just was not happening #it's giving amateur halloween costume and budget mall photo shoot but you know what?#she looks hot and that's all that matters

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anipgarden · 11 months

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Supporting Your Plants for Cheap

This is my fifth post in a series I'll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps!

Once you start gardening, you’ll find a lot of things go into it, and it can be a bit daunting to think about--especially if you’re trying to keep things low-cost. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be as hard--or as expensive--as it initially appears.

Composting

There’s several different ways to compost, any of which are helpful indirecting food waste and nutrients out of landfills and into your soil--which in and of itself can help increase biodiversity by making the space more livable for microorganisms and insects, which then cycles around to the rest of the habitat.

The classic one you see is hot composting. Most of the time, when I see hot composting set ups online, or hear people talking about them, it’s like listening to a wizard cast an intricate spell and prattle on about ratios and temperatures and special ingredients while standing over a detailed self-built setup made of the finest wood money can buy. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be complicated. First off, there’s lots of ways to make compost bins--some can be more expensive than others, but there’s definitely options asides from buying pre-made tumblers or getting an engineering degree. I’ve seen people use metal trash cans dug into the ground, make compost pile setups out of old pallets, or just pile stuff up and leave it. While using different ratios of certain items can help them decompose faster, it’s ultimately not something you need to worry about a lot. If it can break down, it’ll break down--it just might take awhile. Composting this way can also help provide habitat--some insects like bumblebees have been known to make nests in compost heaps. In addition, it provides a robust ecosystem for decomposers like worms and other organisms, and bats and birds will be attracted to open-top piles to eat flying bugs that live off the compost. Amphibians enjoy them for humidity, warmth, and feasting on insects. Do note that sometimes snakes may also rest in and lay eggs in compost heaps, so be careful when turning them.

Do note, though, that if your compost pile looks like that you're getting roaches and rats and raccoons out of your goddamn mind. Bury the food scraps.

Personally, when I compost, I use a worm bin--they’re a fantastic option for limited space and limiting smells. I keep mine outside in a big rubbermaid tote with holes drilled into the bottom, sides, and lid. I put a layer or two of weed block on the inside, so it’s still able to drain but keeps the worms from trying to escape during rainy days. There is an initial cost of buying the worms, getting enough bedding materials, and getting a new bin if you don’t have an old one suitable for use. But with occasional feeding, it should sustain itself and provide valuable worm castings that can be used in the garden. Please do note, however, that earthworms are considered invasive in some places.

Look at that worm bin-y goodness. This is a pic of my bin, from earlier this month!

Though I’ve never done it, I’ve heard of people having good results with bokashi composting--a method that’s done in a bucket, and is relatively easy to do indoors.

Once you start a composting system, keeping it stockpiled with organic material can become pretty easy for cheap. In general, if it comes from a plant, it’s safe to use. It’s also a good idea to avoid putting already-cooked things in a pile, as salts and sauces can kill beneficial bacteria in the compost while also attracting animals. Adding meat is also generally avoided to not attract animals. But below are some things that I’ve put in my worm bin quick, easy, and cheaply; or things I’ve seen friends put in their compost piles.

Cooking scraps/snack leftovers--things like cut up bell peppers, the ends of tomatoes, strawberry tops, apple cores, watermelon rinds, coffee grounds, and orange peels are amassed somewhat quickly in my house--my dad likes to cook. Around holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas? Corn husks, potato peels, sweet potato fibers, leftover greens and other trimmings are a feast for compost piles and worm bins.

Vegetables and Stuff that went bad in the fridge/pantry--we’re constantly victims of the ‘forgot it was there’ conundrum. Fridge cleanouts are great times to decide what can be tossed to the compost--moldy bell peppers, spotty celery, questionable carrots, onion halves, old eggs, bagged salads, and stale/moldy bread have all been tossed into the pile before!

Grass clippings--though my worms don’t like grass clippings, they’re still great material for a classic hot compost set-up!

Fallen leaves--another classic addition to a hot compost pile. Some friends keep them stocked up and stored for later use.

Plant trimmings--what is plant clean up if not compost material? I’ve put cleaned-out sunflower heads and stalks in my worm bin, and they decomposed after about two months. If you get blossom end rot on your tomatoes or peppers, they’re still fair game for the bin as well!

Shredded mail--just make sure to not put in the thin plastic that covers the address section on some envelopes. Otherwise? As long as the paper isn’t glossy, it should be great for a bin or pile! Shredded paper or cardboard also makes great bedding for worm bins. Put those Amazon boxes to good use!

Pumpkins! Snag your neighbor’s halloween pumpkins in November and toss them in my compost! Last year my dad went around the cul-de-sac and nabbed all of the post-halloween pumpkins, the worms loved it.

Christmas tree needles--can’t confirm I’ve tried this, but it seems like it would work.

Mulch

Mulch is an excellent way to keep your soil moist, while also beginning and continuing to improve soil conditions as it breaks down into organic matter. You’ll have to water less, and it’ll prevent/slow down the growth of unwanted weeds (which is always the final straw to gardening for me, I get so overwhelmed I just stop going outside). Win-win situation, right? Except stepping into a Home Depot and finding mulch being sold for five dollars per square foot and knowing you have to cover a whole garden with it all can add up… pretty quickly, to say the least.

Fortunately, there are a few solutions to this, and likely from your own backyard!

Grass clippings are the first that come to mind. If you’re mowing your lawn, or have neighbors who are, collecting the clippings and spreading them over your soil is a cheap and easy option for some quick mulch. It’ll be very nitrogen-heavy, so keep that in mind, but it’ll still prevent weeds, retain moisture, and break down into organic material over the course of a few months. Do try to not use grass clippings you know are treated with pesticides, since the aim is to use this mulch to help increase your biodiversity, and having insects around plays a big role in that.

Fallen leaves are the next that comes to mind. If you’ve got a tree in your yard, or in your neighborhood, then you or someone around you knows the neverending avalanche of leaves or pine needles that drop come fall. As mentioned before, they can be used to make brush piles for creatures, or added into compost, but they have a fantastic third use as mulch. Add them on top of your beds!

Want free wood mulch? A program called Chip Drop might be the best solution for you! They team up with arborists to find cheap drop sites for shredded wood, logs, etc. that are produced as they maintain trees! If any local arborists tied to the program are operating in your area, instead of paying to dump the resulting mulch at a landfill or some other dumpside, they’ll simply dump it at your place! Now, you won’t be able to control when the mulch gets dropped--I’ve heard of people coming home from work one day to find a chip drop in their driveway. But… free mulch!

Want wood chips but not a whole truck load? If an arborist is working in your area, and you can muster the courage, its worth a shot to ask! One time someone in my neighborhood was getting a tree removed, so my Dad and I parked near their car with a tarp in the trunk, some shovels, and an old storage bin. We approached nicely and asked if we could have some chips, and they were totally cool with it! At that point, how much you get depends on how big your trunk space is, and how many times you’re willing to ferry mulch back and forth out of your car so you can go back for more. But it is an option! Alternatively, you can ask them to dump the whole load in front of your house, but at least you’ll know when and where it’s happening!

Trellises

Many plants need, or will appreciate, some kind of climbing structure. But trellises aren’t often cheap to find. To that, I say--we’ll create our own!

One popular option is to grow taller plants, and then plant climbing species are few weeks/years later so they’ll climb the taller plants! I’ve planted passion vine near a tree in my garden for it to climb, and I’ve seen people do similar concepts with sunflowers, corn, and other such plants! Sunflower stalks can provide support even after they’ve been cut back.

A combination of wood, some stakes, some nails, and some string can create a great frame trellis that can be used for beans, tomatoes, vines, etc--so I’m sure if could be put to good use for native climbers, especially since my dad’s used this structure for passion vines before. You may have to replace the string every year, but most of the time, the string is compostable anyways!

This may take a bit more setup and have a more upfront cost, but creating a trellis out of cattle panels makes a durable structure that can support all kinds of vining plants!

Of course, there’s always the easy alternative of simply letting plants climb along your fence! This is especially easy if you have a chain link fence, but wooden fences are plenty suitable for some species as well! I’ve seen passion vines do great growing along chain link fences as supports, and one of my favorite sights as a kid was always seeing bushels of trumpet vines growing up and over fences on the drive home.

Why are we worrying about trellises? Creatures are attracted to diverse landscapes with a variety of plants within them, so having a few climbers can be a great way to attract more wildlife! I know some plants in my area that pollinators are attracted to, or even rely on as host plants, are climbers that can get upwards of 15 feet tall, and will climb any surface you give them. A trellis provides you a great place to put extremely beneficial plants.

That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about how different 'kinds' of plants can all be beneficial in a biodiversity standpoint. Until then, I hope this advice was helpful! Feel free to reply with any questions, your success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

#biodiversity #solarpunk #gardening #outdoor gardening #composting #mulch #trellis #budget gardening #cheap gardening #ani rambles #out of queue #the biodiversity saga #i remember junior year of college me and my friends considered doing a cattle panel trellis #but then we couldn't figure out where to buy cattle panel #apparently the answer is 'tractor/farmer supply companies'#also so anyone reading these tags knows what took me 5+ years to learn #CATTLE PANEL DOESNT COME IN ROLLS IT COMES IN LENGTHS #all this time I was like 'man i wanna make a cattle panel trellis but it comes in like 40 foot lengths and i dont need that much'#and all my gardening homies were confused because theyve been getting it in lengths THIS WHOLE TIME #I WAS LOOKING AT FUCKIN ROLLED FENCING #i actually dont think any of the big box stores by me even fuckin sell cattle panel but thats beside the point #you can get it delivered though #(Delivered to the store for pickup i think)#someday i want a cattle panel trellis with like moonflowers or trumpet vine just a BURST of color and life

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