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supernovafics · 11 months

Text

𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐍

pairing: professor!steve harrington x professor!fem!reader

word count: 6.8k words

summary: in which it had been twelve years since you last saw steve harrington. and you never thought about him, mainly because you’d forced yourself not to. but, suddenly, it was hard to avoid thoughts or reminders of him when after all of those years, you finally saw him again. it was an abrupt moment that oh so quickly brought back memories and old feelings that managed to do a number of things; confuse, scare, and worry you. after everything that happened between you two, you fully believed that you would never want to talk to him again. but maybe that was the exact thing that needed to happen.

warnings: explicit language, mentions of cheating, a bit of fluff, implied smut, a shit ton of angst but with a happy ending

author’s note: this took forever and it's insanely long but i love the way it turned out<33 the rest of the trilogy will be out next, so "august" and then "betty" coming (very) soon!! (full "folklore" album series masterlist here!)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone's bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Fall Semester 1996

You rarely ever thought about your life pre-Rhode Island. Mainly because you never wanted to, but also because it felt so far in the past that there was never any reason to focus on what used to be.

You segmented your life into two phases. One, before you left your hometown, and, two, the moment you drove past the “Leaving Hawkins” sign and never looked back, refraining to listen to the part of the sign that told you to “Come Again Soon.”

It had been nearly twelve years since you left the small Indiana town, and there wasn’t one moment where you ran into anyone that you once knew from that “before” life, which, in turn, meant that you never had any reason to think about Hawkins.

Until you did run into someone. And it was probably the worst possible person you could’ve ever run into.

Steve fucking Harrington.

You would’ve rather seen Simon Gardener— your crush from sixth grade who you’d thrown up in front of when the two of you got paired up on a Science project— than Steve.

But, now here he was, standing barely twenty feet away from you. You’d nearly dropped the coffee you’d waited almost twenty minutes for from your favorite coffee shop. Instead, you spilled some on your hand and only inwardly winced at the feeling because you didn’t want to draw attention to yourself.

You almost turned around and walked out of the building you just walked into, but your office was right down the hallway that Steve was currently standing in the middle of along with the head of the English Department, Dan. And now that there was spilled coffee on your hand you really needed to go in there and rummage through the drawer of your desk that contained a bunch of leftover napkins from random nights when you’d order takeout to your office.

Before you could contemplate further about what your next course of action should be, Dan spotted you and called your name, waving you over to where he and Steve were standing.

“Hi, good morning,” You greeted him, expertly avoiding eye contact with Steve because you didn’t want to see his reaction to seeing you for the first time in what pretty much felt like forever.

“Let me introduce you to the new addition to the History department upstairs,” Dan said and then gestured to Steve, which forced you to finally look at him. “Steve Harrington.”

You could tell he was surprised to see you, but he hid that surprise by smiling at you, and you hated that even after all of these years, his smile still managed to do something to you.

Now that you were closer to him, you could see some minor differences about him. His hair was a bit shorter, nothing too crazy or dramatic, but you noticed how his “iconic” hair was a bit more tame compared to how it used to be. And somehow he managed to get a little taller, only a couple of inches, but still you noticed that too.

He overall looked older, which obviously made sense because twelve years would do that to a person. However, there was still something all too familiar about him. That same boyish presence that you had gotten so used to seeing still lingered on him. Behind his eyes, you saw exactly that boy you fell in love with that one summer.

The summer that you never really thought about; in fact, you’d forced yourself not to think about it. But, now with him right in front of you, random flashbacks to moments from that July and August, especially August, were the only things circling your mind.

Your loud laughs and wide smiles as you swam in his pool and let your body wrap around his underneath the water, your drunken talks until the sun came up, the makeout sessions in his car that almost always led to doing other things in his bed since his parents were never home.

You pushed those memories far away, just as quickly as they resurfaced.

“Hi,” You said to him and forced a small smile.

You could tell that he was studying you just as you had been studying him, taking note of what you looked like now and comparing that to the version of you that he used to know. Whatever differences you had, you felt like they were subtle like his were, and just came with the territory of aging twelve years, but maybe he saw something else. He was the only person who you felt was able to actually look inside of you; he had known the ins and outs of who you were.

“She’s a Professor in the English department,” Dan told Steve, and you were insanely grateful for Dan’s presence at that moment because you knew that it would be hell if you had been alone with Steve right then. “Oh, what happened to your hand?”

You looked down at your hand, somehow you had actually forgotten about the spill that happened only moments ago.

“Little coffee mishap,” You said with a small, awkward laugh. “I have some napkins in my office, though, so I’m just going to head in there.” You looked at Steve and directed another forced smile at him, you had a feeling you’d be doing that a lot now. “Nice to meet you.”

You mentioned something to Dan about seeing him at a faculty meeting later and then headed to your office, which was only about ten feet away.

When it was just you alone behind the shut door of your office, your brain could finally process everything that had just happened.

Steve was here. Not Hawkins, not Indiana, Rhode Island. And not only was he simply in Rhode Island, but he now worked at the college you had been working at for the past two and a half years.

The only word you could think of at that moment was “Fuck,” and then you couldn’t help but mutter it under your breath. You took a sip of your coffee and let the familiar sweet and slightly bitter taste soothe your nerves.

Barely thirty minutes later— after trying your hardest to finish up the planning for a lecture you had been working on for the past few days but failing miserably because your mind couldn’t help but wonder why Steve was here of all places— you were stepping out of your office and almost crashed right into him.

“Jesus Christ,” You yelped; once again so surprised to see him.

“I swear I was about to knock and this is just freakishly weird timing,” He quickly told you. “I wasn’t being a creep and waiting for you to come out.”

“Okay,” You said with a small nod. Somehow his nervousness at that moment made you feel less nervous. “Um, what’s up?”

“Can we talk, maybe?”

“I have a class in fifteen minutes, so I can’t now,” You told him as you glanced down at the watch on your wrist. “But, um, maybe soon, yeah?”

You were completely lying, there was no way you were going to talk to him soon; at least not about what you assumed he wanted to talk about. You refused to do that.

Luckily Steve couldn’t see through your lie, or if he did, he didn’t call you out on it. Instead, he nodded at your words before you walked away.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“'cause i knew you. steppin' on the last train marked me like a bloodstain. i knew you. tried to change the ending peter losing wendy.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Somehow, and much to your grateful surprise, you rarely ever saw Steve. And when you did, because he was only just upstairs so it was sort of inevitable, there were only quick passing glances shared between you two along with tight-lipped smiles and small waves; both of you too busy to have any kind of actual conversation with one another.

However, you did manage to learn a few things about him over the past month he’d been there. You heard through the grapevine— said grapevine being various faculty members that seemed to grow a quick liking to Steve— that he was taking over Tamara Wilson’s two Early European History classes for the rest of the Fall semester because she went on maternity leave, and in the Spring he’d be teaching it again along with a U.S. history course.

None of that information answered the one question constantly running through your mind, though.

What the hell was he doing here?

Because you had to admit, you were so curious to know about all of it. How he was here, why he was here, how this coincidence could’ve happened.

But, you also really didn’t want to talk to him because you had the strongest feeling that the conversation would also involve the past, that summer, and how much you didn’t want that to happen outweighed your curiosity.

Therefore, on the night of the college’s annual Winter Gala, the first instance that could actually allow you two to talk to one another, you still tried your hardest to avoid him.

You had always hated these kinds of events because they were solely used to schmooze alumni and other donors to get them to give the school money, and even though you understood the need for that, you still didn’t enjoy attending. However, you knew that you always had to show face, at least for an hour or two.

And you made it nearly an hour and a half without having to see Steve and you were almost certain that you actually wouldn’t see him. But, moments before you were about to make your final rounds and say goodbye to people, mainly Dan so you could prove to him that you’d shown up, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

It was almost too easy to know that it was Steve because it was only his touch that ever managed to send something equivalent to an electric shock through your body. And with the strapless black dress you were wearing, his hand making contact with your bare shoulder immediately made surprised goosebumps rise to your skin.

“Hi,” He said, offering a small smile. Somehow the first thing you noticed about him was the bow tie he was wearing. He was also wearing a black suit with a white button-up shirt, but the bow tie caught your eye first. You were immediately reminded of a memory of him saying how much he hated bow ties, but you had told him how great he looked in one. In this moment, you hated how right you still were.

“Hey,” You responded with a smile of your own, and you sincerely hoped he couldn’t see your nervousness through it. He opened his mouth to say something but you jumped in before he could. “How’s your first month here been so far?”

“Good,” Steve answered with a nod. “A little weird just jumping in at the middle of the semester and trying to go along with what Wilson already set on the syllabus. A weekly quiz was on there, and I immediately told the students that we wouldn’t be doing that anymore.”

“They probably love you for that.”

“Yeah, I got a round of applause on my first day.”

You couldn’t help but smile at that, you were only fifty percent sure that he was joking, but either way, the thought amused you.

You wanted to ask when he got into history and into teaching, but maybe that question would open a can of worms that would lead to other topics of conversation you wanted to stay away from.

“I can guarantee that at least half of them will want to be in your class next semester,” You said instead of asking what you really wanted. “You’re gonna be doing U.S. History, right?”

“Yeah, and I’ll still be taking over for Wilson, so I’ll have three courses next semester, which should be interesting,” Steve nodded, and then a look crossed his face as if he just remembered something. “But, that probably sounds like nothing to you because I heard that you’re currently doing four American Lit courses and one British Lit course. Oh, and you’re the only person in the English department teaching that many courses, which sounds insane but that’s also pretty cool.”

You pretended as if now knowing that he had asked about you didn’t affect you at least a tiny bit. And you also pretended that hearing the admiration in his voice didn’t affect you at all either.

“Yeah, I’ve only been teaching here for a little over two years, so I still get stuck with most of the basic courses. Which isn’t horrible, but it’s pretty boring and easy, so I always do a lot,” You told him with a small shrug. All of the work that had been on your plate for the past few years sounded like a lot— maybe even too much— but in your mind, it actually wasn’t as crazy as it seemed. Because you liked drowning yourself in your job, it made you feel useful, and you’d spent so much time before and right after you left Hawkins feeling the exact opposite that you’d do almost anything to make sure you never felt that way again. “But, next semester I’m doing an advanced Creative Writing course for the first time, in addition to only two American Lit courses, so I’m pretty excited about that.”

Steve smiled at you. “That’s nice.”

This small talk felt okay to you, it was bearable. It was also mundane and a little trivial, but you’d rather that than talk about the past. Apparently, Steve had other plans, though.

“I had no idea you moved here.”

You pulled your eyes away from his and focused on your half-empty flute of champagne that you’d gotten when you arrived at the event and was probably disgustingly warm by now. You contemplated for a few moments whether or not you should avoid Steve’s question or allow the conversation to go in the direction that it was inevitably meant to go in. Maybe it was stupid to think that you’d be able to pretend as if your past, which Steve was quite involved in, never existed.

“Yeah… I went to college in Massachusetts and then I went to grad school here in Rhode Island but in a different part of the state, a little more north. And I always just stayed here, always finding a reason to stay around, some small internship or job, and then I ended up at this college because a friend who was already working here recommended me. I had never done any teaching before, but I actually like it.”

You didn’t tell him that the main reason why you always found a reason— more so desperately searched for reasons— to stay in Rhode Island was so that you never had to go back to Hawkins. But, maybe that was obvious, at least to him, because he was a huge factor as to why you knew that you needed to leave that town and never look back.

You silently wondered if he had been gone from Hawkins for a long time too, and then you realized that with the turn the conversation had taken, you could actually ask that question.

“When did you leave Hawkins?”

“Almost ten years ago now,” Steve said, and you had to admit, you were kind of surprised by that answer. To you, he always seemed like the type of person that would want to stay in the small town. “Decided it was time for a scenery change and my parents, especially my dad, were more than happy to send me anywhere.” He let out a dry and slightly sad chuckle, and you were all too quickly reminded of why you had always despised his parents. “He pulled some strings at this small college in Ohio, so I went there and actually liked it a lot, and I haven’t been back to Hawkins since.”

You two were sitting at an empty table now, somehow silently agreeing to migrate to that spot as you continued your conversation. You placed the glass in your hand on the white tablecloth and turned to look at Steve.

“When did you get into history?”

“My first semester I had this professor for a World History class and he was really great; Richard James. It was probably the first class ever that I actually cared about what was going on because of how he was teaching everything and I became pretty interested in history. I took a couple more history classes with him and some other professors too, and still really liked it so I changed my major to it. And after I graduated I started TA-ing for some of the advanced classes he was teaching.”

There was a smile on your face that you wanted to get rid of but couldn’t because it was just so nice to hear how happy Steve was as he talked about the past almost ten years of his life. You hated to admit it, and you’d probably never do so out loud, but there was still a part of you that cared about him so much, and you were glad that he was happy.

“And then I ended up here because last month Richard was supposed to do a talk here, but he got sick last second and asked me to fill in for him. And for some reason, the head of the History department really liked me and offered me a job.”

You had never been the biggest fan of history so it wasn’t that surprising that you had missed the first time that Steve had been here, but your mind couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if your paths had accidentally crossed then.

“I want you to know, though, that if I would’ve known that you also worked here, I wouldn’t have taken the job,” Steve told you, somehow pretty much reading your mind and answering your unasked question. “Because I know you left Hawkins because of me. Because you never wanted to see me again, which I completely understand.”

His words right then surprised you and you had no idea what to say in response to that; your thoughts started running a million miles a second and you could only look down at your hands in your lap. But then you didn’t have to say anything because Steve kept talking.

“I’m still really sorry about everything that happened.”

You were so close to telling him to stop talking about it. You were fully ready to make up some lie about how the past was in the past, and how you were over everything that happened twelve years ago.

But, right then you actually didn’t want to lie and pretend that none of it mattered. You didn’t want to avoid the past like a plague, as you’d been doing for the past decade, and like you especially had been doing for the past month since Steve showed up in Rhode Island.

However, it couldn’t happen here. In the school’s basketball court that had been transformed for the evening into a ballroom-type of elegant space. No one was paying attention to either of you, but the potential for someone to come up at any moment while you were finally having this conversation with Steve worried you.

You finally let your eyes meet his again. “Can we talk about this outside?”

Steve nodded as you stood up and he followed you out the nearest door.

It was dark outside, the time now nearing on ten o’clock, but the many lamp posts brightened up the emptiness of the quad. You found a bench and sat down, the cool metal against your back calmed your nerves a bit.

You were suddenly reminded of the last time you and Steve talked to each other before you left Hawkins, which was about a month into Senior year at a random party at Rachel McKenna’s house. It was barely even a conversation because you refused to listen to him and his slew of apologies back then. And then you also refused to talk to him for the entirety of the school year.

You were still unsure if you had any regrets about that.

“I really don’t even know where to start,” You said now with a small sigh. “I always forced myself to never think about us; about that summer and the aftermath of it too. For the longest time I pretended as if none of it really mattered. Because I knew that we no longer mattered to each other.”

“You always mattered to me,” Steve told you and it was almost too easy to hear the honesty in his tone.

Still, you were quick to shake your head at him. “Stop, you can’t say stuff like that.”

“But, it’s the truth.”

You bypassed that softly spoken statement because even though you could hear that he was being honest, you didn’t want to acknowledge it right then. So, instead, you focused on something else that he previously said.

“You’re right. You were the main reason that I left Hawkins, not the only reason but definitely one of the big ones. But, it’s also funny because you were one of the reasons why I almost wanted to stay.” Your next words sat right on the tip of your tongue, but they were almost too hard to get out. You cleared your throat and took a quick breath before speaking. “Because I loved you, I literally loved you. So much. But, I knew that I couldn’t, or that I shouldn’t, because nothing could actually happen between us. That summer we were living in a dumb fairytale that could never become a reality. And it was so fucking stupid of me to ever think that we could actually be something real.”

“I wanted us to be something real,” Steve said and you had to bite back the scoff you wanted to let out in response.

“Yeah, weeks after you told me that what we were doing would have to be over because it was the end of summer and Nancy was coming back to town,” You said, trying hard not to let yourself get thrust back into that memory because the exact words he had said to you that day were still etched in your mind. “But, when we abruptly ended, it finally put everything into perspective for me. I felt like such a shitty person because of what we did and how it was a fucked up thing to do. And then immediately having to pretend as if none of it ever happened made it all feel so much worse. I hated you, but I hated myself so much more for everything that happened. That’s why I never wanted to see you or talk to you again, especially at that stupid party.”

You hadn’t realized you were crying until a soft look took over Steve’s face and you suddenly felt the wetness on your cheeks. You haphazardly wiped them away and averted your eyes from his, feeling immensely embarrassed because you hated that talking about all of that, things from years and years ago, still made you cry like you were that seventeen-year-old girl all over again.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry you felt that way,” Steve told you. “But, it was all so much more my fault than it was yours. I was the one that cheated on her.”

“But, I knew. I knew about Nancy, and I knew that what we were doing was wrong.” But, I still did it because I wanted you so bad, and I loved that you wanted me too. You didn’t say that part because you hated the way it would make you sound.

“Still, it will always be more my fault. I was such an asshole back then. All of that ‘King Steve’ stuff really got to my head and I did a lot of shitty things,” He said, and you could tell that he wasn’t proud of that part of his past and he really did feel bad about it. “But, I don’t regret you, or us, or that summer, though. And maybe that still makes me somewhat of an asshole, but that’s okay because it’s true. I don’t regret you. Not at all.”

Somehow hearing him say those words made you realize that you didn’t regret any of it either, which was a thought that actually made you want to cry harder. Because even though you should’ve regretted everything because of every single thing that happened after— the hurt and shame you felt so strongly for months after— you knew that you’d let yourself do it all over again.

You’d still stupidly talk to him for the first time ever outside “Ralph’s Sandwich Shop” after he mocked you on the fact that you liked to put potato chips inside your sandwich and then praised you once he tried it and realized how good it was. And you’d definitely still let him kiss you for the first while swimming in his pool in the middle of the night after whispering to him, “Are you sure?” and his answer being a small nod and his lips pressing against yours that led to the chain of events that brought you both to where you were now.

You wholeheartedly knew that you’d do it all over again. And because of that, it made you say your next statement.

“I don’t want to be angry and upset with you anymore, or pretend you don't exist. I want us to be okay with each other.”

“I want that too. I want us to be friends,” Steve said, and although being friends was a lot different from simply being okay with one another, it actually didn’t sound like too crazy of an idea to you.

You nodded at him. “Okay. Yeah, me too.”

You held out your hand for Steve to take, which he did, and the two of you shook hands to seal this “deal.”

Your gaze broke from his and you glanced down a bit. “Nice bow tie, by the way.”

“I remember someone told me that I looked good in them and I believed her.”

“She’s still right.”

“Good to know.”

You both smiled at each other and then laughed, and it may have taken twelve years, but it finally felt like the past was really in the past.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“but i knew you. dancin' in your levi's, drunk under a streetlight. i knew you. hand under my sweatshirt, baby, kiss it better.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Spring Semester 1997

It was during the most random of moments that you were startled by how close you were able to become with Steve again, and how almost too easily it was able to happen.

Joking around with one another actually felt normal to do, and even talking to each other about anything and everything somehow felt like second nature all over again.

Steve was the one person from your “before” life that you had wholeheartedly believed you never wanted to see again, and now you were glad that he was in your life again. Those stark lines between “before” and “after” that you had drawn twelve years ago were now completely smudged.

Sometimes when the two of you were in your or his office late at night simultaneously working on whatever you needed to while eating takeout from random places, you were hit with the thought, “Holy shit, I can’t believe I’m here with Steve fucking Harrington right now,” and when you would tell him that random thought, he’d laugh a bit and agree that this sudden turn of events did feel at least a little unexpected.

But, he liked how things changed these past few months, and you really did too.

Now it was you asking to use the shower in his hotel room that once again made you feel surprised by how comfortable you were with him.

“Can I use your shower? The one in my room doesn’t get hot for some reason,” You had said and then immediately laughed because of how insane the request was, but of course, Steve didn’t mind.

“Yeah, sure,” He answered with a nod of his head, opening his door further to fully let you in the room.

“Thank you,” You said, smiling at him as you walked in, a towel from your hotel room next door in hand along with a change of clothes. “I’m gonna tell the front desk about it tomorrow. I would do it now, but after the four-hour drive today, I actually feel disgusting and am in dire need of a shower.”

The two of you along with a handful of other faculty from the English, History, and Theology departments were in upstate New York for a small weekend-long conference. Things like that were definitely one of your favorite parts of your job. Hearing talks from the authors of books that you loved, and then being able to pick their brains afterward. It felt like you were a student all over again, but in a better way because you were only listening to the stuff you cared about.

It was also pretty endearing seeing how excited Steve was about everything too. He’d gone on and on about a lecture on World War II that was scheduled for tomorrow for at least an hour during your car ride together, and his happy rambling somehow made you want to go to it too.

“I haven’t taken a shower yet, so I actually don’t know if mine works either,” Steve told you as you headed toward the bathroom.

“Oh God, please don’t say that,” You responded and went to turn on the shower. You sighed in relief when you felt the water get warm on your hand. “Okay, we’re good!”

After your shower, you joined Steve where he was sitting at the foot of his bed. It probably would’ve made sense to head back to your room, both of you had to be up fairly early in the morning, but you didn’t necessarily want to leave just yet; even though the two of you had just spent the past four hours holed up in a car together.

He was clicking through channels on the small television placed atop the dresser, trying to decide on something to put on, before settling on a movie that looked quite familiar to you; Footloose. It was the movie that the two of you watched the first time you went over to his house that summer.

“Do you remember this movie?” He smiled at you and it was hard not to laugh at his question.

You met his gaze. “I definitely remember, but do you? Because you fell asleep during it.”

“I eventually got around to watching it,” He responded and you smiled at that.

“Good,” You told him as you pulled your eyes away from his and turned your attention back toward the television, the movie was close to the end.

When the credits started rolling ten minutes later, you were about to say goodnight to Steve and finally head back next door to your room, but he started speaking before you said anything.

“Do you ever wonder how different things would be now if we had ended up together back then?” He asked, and the vulnerability and genuine curiosity laced within the question made your heart constrict. “If I hadn’t been an idiot and gone back to Nancy at the end of the summer. If I realized earlier that I really wanted to be with you.”

His words actually managed to surprise you because, over the last few months of you and Steve becoming friends again, that part of your deeply intertwined past was something that neither of you talked about. What the two of you used to be to each other, so deeply and utterly in love, hadn’t once come up in your conversations. Maybe it was the elephant in the room that had yet to be addressed. However, a part of you also felt that it was unnecessary to talk about it because, just like everything else, that was also in the past.

“Things would’ve definitely been different,” You ultimately said, words feeling unsure because you now felt so confused. Your next statements came out rushed as you leaned back on the bed, your back hitting the comforter and your hands covering your face because you were purposefully avoiding eye contact with him. “Sorry, I don’t really know what to say right now. I didn’t expect you to say that, and now my mind is kinda spiraling a bit.”

The question became a broken record in your mind.

Do you ever wonder how different things would be now if we had ended up together back then?

You actually had never wondered about that because, for the longest time, you had forced yourself not to think about Steve, or that summer, or even Hawkins in general. But now your brain was spiraling in a thousand different directions with potential answers to the simply stated but insanely loaded question.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was a stupid question. I don’t even know why I asked it, honestly,” Steve responded, words coming out rushed just as yours had. Something about his current sudden nervousness reminded you of the first encounter you two had in the hallway when you learned that he lived in Rhode Island. “Please forget I said anything.”

You didn’t want to forget, though.

“It would’ve been good, I think,” You said softly. You could feel Steve’s eyes on you, but you still didn’t want to meet his gaze. “I think we would’ve been really good together. I wouldn’t have spent almost every day working at the library, and instead, I would’ve gone to your basketball games and swim meets, and I’d actually enjoy it all because I was watching you. And we would’ve gotten drunk at parties on the weekends, and then the next morning you’d still drive me to my shift at the library and stay the entire time because there was nothing else that you wanted to spend your Sunday morning and afternoon doing. Maybe after graduating, we would’ve chosen colleges somewhere close to Hawkins, or even somewhere so far away from the small town. Probably someplace far away. But that part of it doesn’t really matter because we would’ve been together, and that’s all that would have mattered.”

There was really no doubt in your mind that that would’ve happened, or a different but similar version occurring that also included you and Steve simply being happy and in love with one another.

You felt the bed shift a bit after a few moments of your previous words lingering in the air of the hotel room and settling heavily over Steve, and you finally pulled your hands away from your face to look at him. He was now also leaning back against the bed and staring up at the ceiling.

“God, I was such a dumbass,” He muttered, and you could hear the sadness in his voice.

You turned on your side to face him. “We both were. I wish I let myself forgive you at that party.”

“I didn’t deserve your forgiveness then,” He responded as he turned on his side as well and met your eyes. “Sometimes I feel like I barely deserve it now.”

There was so much you could’ve said in response to that but words didn’t feel right in that moment. So, instead of saying something along the lines of, “Please stop beating yourself up about it. You’re a good person,” you shimmied yourself closer to him, closing the small gap of space between you two, and pulled him in for a hug.

The position was awkward, one of your arms was sandwiched underneath him and you knew that it would almost immediately fall asleep and cause some discomfort. However, any and all awkwardness faded away when you felt Steve reciprocate and his arms circled around you.

“It’s okay, okay? I promise everything is okay between us,” You whispered, almost certain that your words got lost in his neck, but when you felt him squeeze you tighter you knew that he was able to hear you clearly. And not only that, but he believed you.

And then it felt like almost second nature for you to make a joke to make things feel light again. “Actually, I’m still offended that you fell asleep during Footloose the first time we ever hung out. I don’t forgive you for that.”

You felt his body shake with laughter which made you smile, and after a few moments, you pulled back from the hug to find him smiling softly at you.

“I’ll redeem myself when the sequel comes out,” He said.

“It’s been twelve years, I think the sequel ship has sailed.”

He laughed again. “Okay, yeah, that’s true.”

You should’ve taken the newfound silence as your opportunity to say goodnight to him and head next door to your room. However, you couldn’t find the will to fully pull yourself away from him. His arms were still around you, like yours were, and your faces were dangerously close. But, the current proximity didn’t feel dangerous or worrisome to you. Instead, it simply felt right; which was an abrupt feeling that should’ve confused you, but somehow it didn’t.

“I really missed you,” He told you, breaking the silence with a statement that only cemented that “rightness” you were feeling at that moment.

“I missed you too.” Your four words somehow felt so effortlessly honest. Even though you had pretended that he and that summer never mattered by forcing your thoughts away from it all, Steve always still held a place in your heart. Deep down inside of you, something that resembled a yearning for him almost always lingered. “I constantly tried to tell myself that that wasn’t true, but I really did miss you… And I’m so glad we’re here right now.”

“Me too.” He looked at you so softly that you felt yourself slowly melting under his gaze.

In your mind, which now suddenly felt so clear and the farthest thing from confused, the next thing you wanted to do seemed like the best thing to do. In fact, it was something that you felt like you needed to do.

Your hand that was resting at the nape of Steve’s neck moved to his cheek as you dipped your head just a tiny bit closer to him.

Steve closed the small gap some more and his lips ghosted over yours for what felt like a fraction of a second before he pulled back a little and looked at you. “Are you sure?”

“Now that sounds awfully familiar,” You joked, referring to that moment in his pool all those years ago, and although he cracked a smile at your statement, you knew his question was serious.

You weren’t kids anymore. The two of you couldn’t just kiss and let it mean nothing in the end.

But, you truly didn’t want it to mean nothing.

You couldn’t have a good ending back then, but did that mean that you still couldn’t have one now?

“I’m so sure about this,” You told him and before he could potentially respond with anything, you let your lips find his, and how quickly Steve kissed you back nonverbally told you how he felt about it all too.

You were completely done for, you knew that for certain. There was nothing that could compare to this and there would never be anything that could compare to this— Steve’s lips on yours for the first time in years, but it feeling like the last time it happened was only yesterday. It was all so innate and easy, probably the easiest thing you’d ever done.

The way his hand found your waist to pull you even closer to him, which made you inwardly smile, and the way you let your fingers settle in his hair and lightly tug on the brown locks, which elicited a soft sigh in contentment from him— you still knew every part of each other so well.

Two people that had been apart for so long finally coming back together. It was a statement that technically summed up you and Steve, but in your eyes, that felt too simple and didn’t accurately summarize the hurt, pain, and turmoil that had accompanied the past twelve years. And it especially didn’t correctly encompass the current part of it all, the “coming back together” part.

Because that part felt indescribable.

A part of it felt similar to watching a movie that ended just the way you wanted it to, or having someone right there to help you get back up and patch up your wounds after you’d fallen off your bike. A feeling that said that even though everything had once felt so uncertain and the complete opposite of perfect, it wasn’t that way anymore.

Things quickly felt so good and right, and both of you were already making internal promises— promises that you’d later whisper to one another while wrapped up in the sheets of Steve’s bed— to never let each other go so easily again.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

“and i knew you'd come back to me. you’d come back.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

let me know ur thoughts<333

(read “august” here!)

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem!reader #stranger things fic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington angst #steve harrington one shot #stranger things imagine #stranger things smut #stranger things fluff

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harrysmimi · 11 months

Text

Dress

Synopsis: One where Harry and YN go from Friends to lovers

More of my work

"Your girlfriend was here the other day and she said that you jumped out of window again, is that true?" Howard Stern asked Harry, "is that you have a bandage on your hand again?"

Harry looked at the man puzzled, even though he knew who the man was talking about. It was annoying for many different reasons, and most annoying one was that he doesn't have a girlfriend.

"YN, your girlfriend." Howard explained.

"She's my best friend, Howard," Harry corrected him, "and no, I almost jumped off a window but she stopped me. This is from injury. I, uhh, I was filming the new Eternals. Had a bit of a surgery done."

Harry was pissed the whole interview because Howard kept calling YN his girlfriend.

As much as he wants it to be true, he doesn't think it ever will be.

A bit of a back story, YN and Harry met at Brits back in 2019. She was there to perform and took home almost all of the major categories. He even presented her with one award himself. He had just gotten to see her perform at Grammy's where she took all major categories home as well. This time around he got to talk to her.

He has always been smitten by her since she first blew up in media. YN's former Miss World. And he didn't know why, he kept up with the pageant that year. To add to it, she was his favourite contestant even. So being able to present her with an achievement she deserved so much and worked so hard for was like a fan-boy moment for him.

He then got to meet her at the after party, they were joint to the hip that night. Their friendship only grew from there and so did his feelings for her. From infatuation it went to crush, to likeness and now he thinks he's really in love with her.

Good lord, they've been friends for almost four years! That's more than enough time for him to fall for her.

He also couldn't bring himself to speak his feelings to her. He can't live this anymore. Until, he went and fucked it all up.

No, quite literally.

They both drunkenly hooked up in a bathroom of his hotel room after her three time platinum album party two weeks ago ago. They both haven't talked since then. YN was called right in the morning urgently and none of them to sit down and talk about their drunk shenanigans.

To be fair, both of them are on tour. He shouldn't have been drinking when he had to go on tour in two days, and so did her when she had a show the very next day. From that very next, it have been interviews and shows for her, and constant travel for him.

He tried to call her but she's busy and when calls him back, he's busy. It isn't just working out and it's eating him inside out. He just want to talk to her that's all. He feels guilty because he remembers everything, he just hopes she does too and doesn't regret it in anyway.

......................................................................

He didn't get to talk to her for whole two weeks. He was on tour. She's busy with recording another one of her Album.

It's been nothing but small talk. And it's bothering him.

He gets to see her today on her last show. He just got in time when her sound check was almost done at the Madison Square Garden. She was checking the visuals of the show with her manager and her producer at the very back of the pit.

"Can we have Ezra's guitar a two notches louder, please?" She spoke in her sparkly microphone asking to make her lead guitarists sound a little bit up. "Yup that's perfect!" She handed the mic to producer and her manager had something to say to her in instant as Harry was about to approach her.

But YN quickly excused herself and sprinted towards him at the entrance, in five inch heels she wore to practice in for her performance. He still couldn't fathom how she can run in those, but his thoughts were put on a hault as she jumped up on him with her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs around his hips tightly, her face buried in his neck. If it weren't for his fast reflexes they would have both fallen down on the hard ground. But he wrapped one his arm around her waist and other under her bum to keep her supported. And before he could say anything else when she finally lifted her head up to look at him. Her lips were on his.

He was taken back. But so was she as she immediately pulled back again, "I'm so sorry!" He carefully placed her back on her feet, she stood almost as tall as him with her heels. He pulled in for another kiss with her hand behind her neck now. A sweet quick peck.

He didn't know he missed her so much that he remembered how she tasted. "I missed you so much!" She hugged him again when he pulled away this time.

"I missed you too, baby." He held her tightly close to her.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" She asked.

"No, I'm just confused." He admitted.

"YN come on, chop chop." YN's manager called for her interrupting Harry. She had no opening act for tonight as she had released a new album last night and she'll be performing for three hours and forty-five minutes there. With a new album, it only added to the pile of six other albums of her. But this was only her third English language album. They would start letting people in next ten minutes.

Her manager wasn't being rude, the lady loved Harry like her son. She just wants YN to be safe as people start coming in. And she also had to get ready.

"I'm sorry." She looked at him with sad puppy eyes, "I feel so bad we didn't even get to talk." She was on urge of crying.

"I know." He cooed, "it's okay. I promise. It's a big day, I don't want you to be anxious. I promise we'll sit down and talk after this, yeah?"

"Okay." She nodded.

"I'll be here when you come back, we're leaving together." He assured her. "Now give me a kiss before you go back." And she did.

Giving him a last squeeze she ran off to the backstage. Harry went back to the VIP standing area. He just hopes she's not anxious.

She tends to get very anxious and shut down. Full on pass out black when she's anxious. It's scary for him. Especially when he had encountered her that way not once but twice. He didn't realise YN's family had started to show up. She had a few relatives in New York plus her own parents and older and little siblings.

"You know there is going to be a secret guest tonight." One of the twin sister spoke.

"Yeah, she won't tell me about it!"

"Harry, do you know who that us?" The ten year old walked upto him, followed by her twin.

Harry has grown to love these kids, YN's affection and adoration for these little girls have rubbed off on him. Especially when that was all she talked about for first few months after they first become friends. She loved her little sisters with her life.

"I don't know darling, who do you think that is going to be?" He asked, holding both their hands back as he walked them to a side as the crew moved around.

He had a nice chat with both of them. They gave him the little birthday cards they made him as they missed his birthday this year. They ever made him a drawing each.

Now Harry wondered who the surprise guest is going to be. He can think of only three people at that time.

......................................................................

Harry danced with the twins as YN came on the stage well to halfway through the show. But the girls went to go get their sugary drinks leaving him alone.

He took the opportunity to admire her for that time. She wore a black dress sith puffy sleeves which hemed just above her knees, with her black tights and black heeled boots she wore earlier. The sweet heart neckline of her dress showed her collarbone, where he remembered leaving a very very in-your-face hickey drunkenly. Maybe she had covered it up or it might have healed.

Yeah, she might have covered it because her mother would kicked her and his ass at the same time. Her mother's very religious for context. And YN's mum is a softie but can be very intimidating.

It was a mother's day show. He wouldn't want YN's mum to be upset. Especially when he knows she have practically adopted him into her family. Maybe like a little lost puppy but she adores him.

It was complete one-eighty from her usually, grafic t-shirts and baggy jeans.

She looks gorgeous none the less. He just couldn't take his eyes off of her there. He shouldn't be looking at anyone else but it was obvious he's oogling at her. Just until the twins interrupted him offering him a Cool-aid.

The lights went down as YN finished her first Grammy winning song. Just a spot light on the elevator downstage.

Our secret moments in your crowded room

Taylor Swift herself rose up on the stage as she sung. Harry almost choked on his drink.

He thought YN only joked about bringing her girl crush who ironically is his ex on the stage with her. But she actually did it.

They got no idea about me and you

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

Taylor sang as she walked upto YN beaming. As YN sang the chorus.

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this

It felt theatrical, with YN's amazing band and insanely talented background vocalists. With the most genius lyricist, and in YN's glory. It was truly magical. YN's sister were going feral on the side. Sobbing by now.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Both of the girls sang together. Taylor singing in beautiful harmonies with YN.

Then it hit him there. He froze as YN sung the next verse. Standing closer on the side of stage where he stood.

Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try

And if I get burned, at least we were electrified

And he knew exactly what she was talking about. Not her words but they held different meaning for both of them now.

His fans already hated her enough, thinking she's using him for fame. But little did they knew, she's more known than he is. And the narrative can be flipped around on him by YN's fans who are double and scarier. But they never di that. Because of YN.

I'm spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we're both drunk

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about

His jaw dropped for a moment. That's exactly what happened. It was nothing new for both of them to hang out, but this time she just felt like taking a bath. Harry supported her by running her a bath as she continued to get shit faced straight from a bottle of wine she picked up from the party.

He initiated it, in her defence. But she was as guilty as he he was.

Afterall, it takes two to Tango!

But it was also true, no one knew about their secret hang outs. They both practically lived together on their off months. Sharing a bed., Sharing their clothes, fighting over little disagreements then making up by bringing one another's favourite food. All of the cuddles all of the secrets they shared with one another, all of the vulnerable moments, which made their friendship that much stronger and every doubted like they every single detail about them.

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this

YN sang as Taylor joined her in.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Both the girls flirted with one another as they both sang the chorus outro.

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Taylor took on from here. YN stood there fangirling, singing the bridge her lung off without ber mic. The crowd was too loud so she blended right in.

Flashback when you met me

Your buzzcut and my hair bleached

Even in my worst times

You could see the best of me

Flashback to my mistakes

My rebounds, my earthquakes

Even in my worst lies

You saw the truth in me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My hands shake, I can't explain this ah, ha, ha, ha

YN sang the next line.

Say my name and everything just stops

And lights went down again. Pitche black. As the light came back on, Taylor's outfit was changed making the crowd go even more feral.

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

The girls had their best time singing together.

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

You made your mark on me, golden tattoo

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

And they ended the song singing one line at a time.

"Give it up for Doctor Taylor Swift everyone!" YN hyped up the crowd. Harry clapped and cheered as well. "Thank you so much for joining us here tonight. And thank you Taylor for joining us tonight. This took, so, so, so long to happen. Tonight is extra, extra special to me. Because it mother's day, and my Mummy is in the crowd."

The crowd cheered up, "and also we had to bring The Mother herself with us tonight." Taylor laughed as she grabbed her guitar from the crew member. "No seriously Taylor, this is my fangirl moment right here. And can't tell you how much this means to me. Have been you fan since I was seven, since Tim McGraw." YN grabbed her guitar well as the girls walked up to the middle stage on the catwalk. They both perched up their mic on the stand.

Taylor started strumming the guitar as she introduced her first ever song which gave boost to her career.

They both then sang more of her songs, like Clean, I Knew You Were Trouble, Delicate, and of course, Out Of The Wolds and Style.

Harry knew YN still wasn't going to leave his ass. She would tease him all the time. And it actually became reality tonight.

The show still went on until YN closes out with one of her party songs. And ran down the stage. Harry and YN's family was escorted backstage.

She was immediately greeted by her little sisters. And then her mum.

Harry stood back, mainly for two reasons, her family was going back home immediately and he was still scared of her mum. He promised her that they'll talk later anyway. Though it was super hard not to just kiss her right there.

YN bid her family bye as their car left. Her and Harry got into one car.

"That amazing. You killed it!" Harry hyped her up as she sat back and relaxed.

......................................................................

Back at YN's hotel room, the first thing she did was took off her boots as Harry shut the door behind him.

"Should I bring out the wine again?" He teased her and he pinned her against the wall.

"I don't think we need that right now." She answered, "I'm all sweaty stop."

"Like I haven't seen the worse of you." He scoffed but leaned down to button his mouth on hers in a delicate kiss, making her melt like an ice cube on a hot summer day. She now stood shorter than him with her heels off.

"I could really use a large pizza and a hot shower right now, please?" She suggested when he pulled away feeling her tummy growl.

"Yeah? I'll order us one." He offered as the walked into her room. "You want to put on our show?"

"No, I just want a quiet night." She shared as she picked out a change of clothes from her luggage. She was believer of not unpacking because she found it too tedious.

"Don't you want me to take off that dress of your." He walked up closer to her behind as he teased her. "Hey, is that my shirt?" Harry noticed making her take a run to the bathroom, "hey, come out here you little thief!" But the door was slammed on his face.

By the time YN was back from her shower, the fold had arrived. Harry ordered two pizzas for both of them and a few bottles of water and cut mixed fruits for dessert. He knows she isn't going to share because she gets so hungry after her shows as she doesn't like to eat before. And he was hungry too!

They both cuddled up in her bed under the sheets as it was getting quite cold. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." He placed a kiss on her temple. "Do you want to talk about the night we had sex?"

"Yeah." She nodded taking a bite of her pizza. "Did it mean anything to you?"

"Everything." He admitted, "you?"

"Mhmm. I couldn't focus on anything after. I was so scared that you'd be mad because I had to run out." She shared.

"But you woke me up, didn't you?" She did. She did woke him up telling him that her manager and the tour manager had to talk to her about one of the band member falling sick, and they had to look for someone new for the night. It was urgent, and only YN knew who were those people, because the girl made connections everywhere she went.

YN's a completely different human when it some to her work and her personal life.

And then later he got called for work and things went down hill from there. At least for two weeks.

"I did but that still didn't help." She glanced at him once.

"Yeah? Tell me about it baby." He urged her gently. He wants to know how she feels too.

"No, how about you go first?"

"Okay." He admitted, "you know I'm going to be honest and tell you I've always been smitten by you." He let her eat in peace he spoke, she's listening to him he knows. And he does not lime to interrupt her eating, not wanting to trigger her in anyway. "The night we met and talked was a fangirl moment for me. I don't know when we came best friends and I fell for you. It was scary, you know how bad I had to keep these feelings to myself knowing I won't be able to, thinking I might loose one of my only closest best friend."

"Do you regret it?" She asked, finally looking up at him, "us having sex that night?"

"Gosh no, I could never!" He exclaimed softly as he rested his forehead on hers, "could never. I was dying to kiss you and you hold that way." He pulled back, "do you regret it."

"No!" She exclaimed as well, "I guess I have always been stupid because I don't even know when fell for you. I've known it for a long time. But I had the same fear."

"You did?"

"Hmm." She nodded and leaned back into cuddles with him.

"I'm so glad our feels are mutual here, because I love you so much, I don't know if I can go a day without you knowing that." He confessed.

"You're not going let me have cuddle in peace." She made a puppy face she lifted her head up to kiss him again, "I love you too! So much!"

He chuckled, "come back here." He pulled her in again. That's when he saw the fading hickey just above her right collarbone. The shirt wore was bug on him, it was pretty evident it was almost falling off of her shoulders.

They ate their late dinner in silence until they were done. Harry threw away the boxes in trash before she slipped back in bed with her. He made sure to bring the mixed fruits bowl with him.

"You full now?" He asked cautiously, "you want fruit for dessert?" She's been doing so well lately.

Harry had suggested she goes to therapy but she never felt like it, which, fair enough. He's been trying his best to offer her any help he can. And it's working. But he hopes one day she feels comfor enough to get some professional help.

"Oh I'd love to!" She nodded. He let her pick out her favourites and ate the rest. "Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"What are we now?" She asked.

"Hmm..." He sounded again but as if he's thinking, "I think we should be Girlfriend bestie and Boyfriend bestie."

"You need to delete Tiktok and Instagram off your phone." YN laughed as she took a sip from her water.

"I'm serious, I want to be your boyfriend." He said, rather firmly.

"And I want to be your girlfriend." She mocked his tone earning a few soft laughs from him. He placed a firm kiss on her mouth.

"I love you."

Of course they had much more to talk about. But YN fell asleep on him there, holding onto him tight.

It's nothing new them, but Harry cherishes and savours each and every moments like these with her.

......................................................................

N O T E :

Y'all need to tell me how y'all are liking this. Feedback really gives me more motivation to improve and write more.

Also, I'm gonna go MIA for a next 3 days, that means there won't be any Saturday update hence, this early update.

And CEOrry last part will be up sometime next week. Hehe.

......................................................................

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heavyhitterheaux · 7 months

Text

Garden

Based off the song by Dua Lipa

Synopsis: You want to spend more time with your boyfriend, but find that the two of you are drifting apart. It isn't until he almost loses you that he realizes what he has in front of him

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Requested by: an amazing anon 💕

Jack Harlow Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

It was dark outside when you had woken up from being startled because of Jack moving around your shared bedroom. You had been waiting for him to come home since he had been gone all day, but your eyes began to get heavy around midnight and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to last much longer. You grabbed your phone from the nightstand to look to see what the time it was and it was 3:36 in the morning when Jack had promised you that he would be home no later than 8 PM.

"Babe? Are you just now getting home?" You softly asked as he began to take off his sweatshirt.

"Shit. I didn't mean to wake you up. Things just ran over a little bit." He threw it across the room and it landed in the hamper perfectly while you sat up to plug your phone into the charger.

"A little bit? You were supposed to be back at 8 PM LAST NIGHT. It is now 3 in the morning. Did you eat anything? How much water did you drink today? I don't want you getting headaches like you were before."

"Y/N, I'm not doing this with you right now. I need to go to sleep because I need to leave by 9."

"I… I'm just worried about you. I need you to slow down and take a break once in a while. I planned for us to do something around 5. Do you think you'll be done by then?" You asked as Jack has gotten in the bed to lay down next to you and pulled the comforter over himself.

"What are you worried about me for? I'm fine. Don't I need to keep a roof over your head? So let me do what I need to do since you're always asking me for expensive ass shit."

"Really? I'm worried because my boyfriend is a workaholic and a people pleaser that doesn't know how to say no sometimes and his girlfriend would like to spend more time with him."

"When things slow down, I will. I promise, but I can't let up now."

"What about meeting up with me at 5? Just us for a date."

"I'm not about to tell you yes and then I get busy and not show up because that will cause a whole new issue."

"I just don't get why you’re being so defensive about me wanting to spend time with you. Don't blame it on you being busy because when your second album came out you still made me a priority despite everything going on around you."

All Jack did was sigh and roll his eyes which you quickly caught on to.

"Y/N, I'm only going to get five hours of sleep and arguing with you is cutting into that. Can we just let it go and continue it later?"

"Seriously? And when is later because I never see you."

All Jack did was throw the comforter away from him and hop up out of the bed.

"Baby, where are you going?"

"To the guest room to get some fucking sleep since I'm clearly not going to get it in here."

"I… come on don't be like that. I just…."

"I'll probably be gone by the time you wake up." Jack muttered before making his way out of the bedroom and leaving you upset.

You waited about an hour or so before going to peek in on Jack who was sound asleep. All you wanted at the very least was for him to sleep next to you and at least hold you, but it seems like nowadays that was asking for too much. You softly walked to the left side of the bed and crawled in next to him and he was startled by the movement.

"Y/N..." Jack started to say but you immediately cut him off.

"Can you at least hold me so I'll sleep better. I didn't come in here to argue. I just want you close to me."

All he did was raise his left arm and you cuddled closer to him as he wrapped it around you and it almost seemed forced like he didn't want to do it.

"I love you, Jack." You whispered to him, but all you got were his soft snores in response letting you know that he had fallen back asleep.

You felt your eyes watering and the tears slowly ran down your face and you did your best to even your breathing so that you wouldn't wake him up again.

You just simply wanted your loving boyfriend back who would always spend time with you and never made you feel as if you were a burden.

When you woke up, just as he told you Jack was long gone and you simply let out a sigh. When he left early like that he would usually send you a text message that said good morning and how much he loved you, but you didn't know the last time he did that. You would usually send them and now they went unanswered.

You had some work to do yourself and had been working from home for the past few days. You couldn't quite put your finger on what it was that was bothering you besides the obvious with Jack, but you didn't feel 100%.

Hoping that a hot shower would help, you hung eucalyptus at the top of it to open you up so that you could breathe better and lost track of time of how long you had been in there.

Once finished, you got dressed and decided to bring your laptop to the living room in order to watch some movies for some background noise and order some food since you hadn't felt like cooking.

You nibbled at your food all day while you worked and when 5 PM came around of course Jack was nowhere to be found. You had sent a few texts throughout the day to ask how things were going and all he was doing was reading them and not responding, making you grow frustrated.

Around 10 PM, since you still didn't feel well, you made yourself a cup of ginger tea in hopes that would help and made your way upstairs to your room not even bothering to wait for Jack. It was clear that he didn't want to talk to you so you weren't about to force him.

When you woke up it was around 7 in the morning and you had felt worse than you did the night before. Jack wasn't next to you and you heard the shower running so you assumed that he was getting ready to go out and leave you by yourself…. Again.

Once he came out the shower, you couldn't help but to blurt it out.

"Baby, can you please stay home with me today?" You couldn't put your finger on as to why, but you didn't want to be by yourself.

"Y/N…. What is it now? Didn't we already talk about this?" He answered and had an immediate attitude.

"I just don't feel that well and want you to keep me company. It's just for a day. You can miss one day."

"What don't you get when I say that I have to provide for us? You saying that you don't feel good is just another excuse to try and get me to stay home and start an argument. You look fine to me and I can't believe you would pretend to be sick for me to stay."

"Just say you hate me and go." You muttered and stormed into the bathroom while locking the door behind you.

"Why would you even say that?! I don't hate you!"

You didn't bother responding and simply brushed your teeth and washed your face. You could hear him moving around the bedroom and once you heard his keys, you knew he was getting ready to leave despite your protests. All you could do was sigh and attempt to go on about your day.

By noon, you couldn't focus and no amount of medicine was helping you feel any better so you decided to get dressed and head to the grocery store in the hopes of getting ingredients to make some soup and hopefully you would be able to keep it down. You had gotten to the couch downstairs and were putting on your shoes when you suddenly felt lightheaded. You gave it a few minutes to let it pass before standing up. And once you did, your head immediately hit the floor.

Jack was in the studio and cursed to himself. Nothing had been going right that morning and be felt that it was low key his Karma for blowing you off.

"What's wrong?" Urban asked while seeing his frustration.

"Could you do me a favor and go to my condo to get a sample hard drive that I forgot? I don't want to see Y/N."

"Wait, what? Why? Are you two fighting again? You've been fighting a lot more than usual."

"I just don't want to deal with her right now."

All Urban did was sigh because he hated seeing the two of you at odds. He didn't want to get in the middle of it, so he didn't bother saying anything.

"Be right back."

When Urban walked through the door, he called out to you but when you didn't answer he was confused. Your car was still in the driveway and he could hear the television playing so he wasn't quite sure what was going on.

He walked further into the condo into the living room to discover you on the floor and not moving.

"SHIT! Y/N!" Urban said while rushing over towards you and trying to tap you to wake up.

"Come on, wake up!"

Nothing he was doing was working and he quickly pulled out his phone to dial 911.

"Hello 911, what is the address of your emergency?"

Jack was growing increasingly inpatient and was wondering where Urban was since it had been at least two hours since he left. His condo wasn't that far from the studio and he figures that you had coerced Urban into staying with you and gave him the same sorry excuse of not feeling well that you told him earlier.

It was another 45 minutes before Urban stormed into the studio pissed off and red in the face.

"Do you not know how to answer your fucking phone anymore?!"

"What? You were coming right back anyway. It's been on DND all day. What took you so long?"

"Your girlfriend is what took me so long." Jack immediately rolled his eyes.

"Oh, did she give you that same bullshit ass excuse of her not feeling well?"

"You are such a fucking dumbass. When I got there she was on the floor, passed out! So when she told you that she didn't feel well, she wasn't lying! The paramedics were asking me all these questions that I didn't know the answer to since I didn't even know how long she had been on the floor or if she hit her head!"

"Wait, what?"

"You fucking heard me, your girl is in the hospital and hadn't even woken up when I left because I had to rush to get to your dumbass to tell you since your phone is on DND. The hospital had been trying to call you ever since she got there!"

All Jack did was mutter fuck under his breath and immediately started to feel guilty.

You had been telling the truth the entire time and all you wanted to do for the past few weeks is spend time with him and all he did was ignore you.

"I…."

"Just come on, I'll drive." Urban said and all Jack did was nod his head as a million thoughts were running through his mind.

Urban sped through traffic and made it back to the hospital in record time. Jack barely gave him a chance to stop the car at the entrance before jumping out and trying to get to you as soon as possible.

He immediately ran to the desk to ask the secretary where you were before she gave him directions to your room down the hallway.

Once he reached your room, he saw you sitting up with your head resting in your hand while the other was flipping through channels on television that was in the front of the room.

"Baby?" Jack said as he entered the room and all you did was look at him.

"Um, what happened?" He asked again and all you did was sigh.

"Don't you have somewhere else more important to be?" You asked while turning away from him to look at the TV.

"What? You're important to me, you're my priority."

"You can save the bullshit because I don't want to hear it. You know this is the first day that you called me baby and not by my first name in almost three weeks?"

"I… I'm sorry I was busy, but I'm here now." Jack tried to take your hand, but you quickly pulled it away.

"And you can leave. I don't need you here or want you here, you have to keep a roof over our heads, remember?"

"I know you’re mad at me, pissed is more like it for good reason but I just want you to talk to me."

"Oh, so now you want to talk? When you thought something might have happened to me? You have been acting like I bother you with everything that I say and you wondered why I said that you hated me this morning. I'm being admitted for the night so you'll be able to get your rest without me bothering you. I'll get Urban to pick me up tomorrow so that you can continue to provide for us. Now, you can leave so you can go and do that."

"You haven't even told me what's going on with you! I'm not leaving!"

"Why? So you can pretend to act like you care? I have started not to be able to recognize you anymore and I don't like the person that you're becoming so do me a favor and get out of my sight."

You had been home for a few days and Jack actually ended up staying the night with you in the hospital despite your protests.

Long story short, you fainted because you were dehydrated and the stress that you had been under didn't help either.

Jack had been walking on eggshells around you since that day and was staying with you at home to make sure you had everything that you needed without having to lift a finger. However, now he was getting on your nerves because he wouldn't let you out of his sight. It sh

"Babe, when's the last time you drank water?"

"2006."

"Y/N! I'm trying to make sure you stay hydrated. I don't want you fainting again."

"I'm fine for the millionth time so you can leave. It's amazing how much free time you have now." You fired back and all he did was sigh.

"I never properly apologized to you and I'm sorry for making you feel like I didn't care about you and you should have never had to beg for me to spend time with you. I just get so wrapped up in my head with work that it's all that I focus on. I promise to do better moving forward and never make you feel that way ever again. I want this and I want us for the long haul."

“I don’t want you to promise me anything, instead show me by your actions.”

“Can I have a kiss to help me get started?” Jack asked while pouting and you immediately rolled your eyes before leaning over to kiss him since he sat next to you.

“Uhhh I need one more for strength and maybe two more for good luck.”

“I… look now.”

“Please?!”

You obliged while leaning over to kiss him and he quickly pulled you onto his lap.

“I love you and I should never go that long without telling you again.” Jack whispered against your lips.

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

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berryhobii · 11 months

Text

Reconnect (myg x reader)

Pairing: Idol!Min Yoongi x black!wedding designer!female! Reader

Word Count: 6K+

Warnings: fluff, established relationship, mentions of secret relationship, mentions of a wedding(but not Yoongi and the reader’s), reader and Yoongi are engaged, Smut(18+ but I don’t control what you consume), unprotected sex(please speak to your partners before engaging in this), vaginal sex, squirting, creampies, riding, doggy style, mating press/missionary, oral(f receiving), soft dom Yoongi(he’s super soft and vocal but also goes kind of rough😊), rough sex, multiple orgasms(f and m receiving), brief aftercare and mentions of amazing aftercare, reader has goddess locs(color and length not specified), reader also has that Wendy’s Strawberry Lemonade kitty, reader also also has nipple piercings, reader got a fat ass because who doesn’t appreciate a nice booty?

A/N: Hi! This is my second time uploading something. I’ve had this story in my drafts for a while. I had been writing it using she/her pronouns so I’ve been spending the past few days to change those to you/yours. If I missed any, I’m sorry but please let me know so I can make the story more cohesive. Reader is black but their skin color isn’t really described but I believe I referred to their nipples being dark so that’s it. My next post with either be a GreekMythology!Jimin or a Gamer!Jungkook. The Jimin story is actually really long so I think I’ll turn it into a small series but I’ll post the 1st chapter sometime next week. Thanks again for reading! Criticism is greatly accepted and I hope my black and melanated girlies feel good reading this! Have a good day.

“I’m sorry, baby. I know I said we’d have dinner but we have to do some last minute recording.”

You tried not to sound disappointed when you replied. “That’s okay. I understand.” And you truly did. You knew how important his job was and that it would be a priority of his.

You just wished that it didn’t take so much of his time. You understood that his music was his life and that it was his dream career. All of his hard work had led up to being able to do what he does now; to make music and inspire the millions of fans that listened. You were so proud of him. Seeing him live his dream filled you with a different kind of pride and emotion. He was happy and that’s all you ever wanted for him.

Still, you missed him. You two had barely spent any time together the past month while he’s been preparing for their new album. He’d come home long after you’d fallen asleep and he’d sleep into the afternoon, just to rise and immediately get ready to go again. You couldn’t even have breakfast together like you used to. You could barely even start a conversation before he was cutting you off with a kiss and rushing out of the door.

While you had your own career of designing wedding dresses, you still had so much free time on your hands. You had already designed your newest collection and it was currently in production to be created. You’ve even made multiple visits to a few stores and they were running amazingly. There was only so long you could bury yourself in work before your heart began yearning for Yoongi’s companionship.

“I promise when this is finished, we’ll go on a trip. Just you and me.”

That made you smile. You and Yoongi have traveled a lot together over the years; Bora Bora, Italy, The Maldives—and each experience had been just as memorable and romantic as the last. He proposed to you in Italy at the Orange Gardens. It was such a magical moment. Just thinking about it made you want to cry. The entire trip was just absolutely perfect; from taking a gondola ride on the gorgeous waters to the 5 Star hotel they stayed in for 3 days and 2 nights, all the way to the candlelit dinner where he got down on one knee. You remember it fondly.

While the promise of a trip together didn’t fix your loneliness now, it gave you something to look forward to.

You couldn’t fight the smile in your voice. “Okay.” Your eyes went over to the stove where dinner was cooking. You had just finished searing some steaks that were finishing up in the oven. There was no point of putting them away for him to eat later. They wouldn’t be as flavorful or tender.

“Hey, is it okay if I bring you some dinner? I know you haven’t eaten yet.” Your tone shifted to one of slight teasing but you knew you were right. His pause of silence was proof enough.

“You don’t have to do that, baby.”

“I want to though. I made steak and I’ll feel better knowing you’ve eaten. I won’t stay long or distract you.” Just knowing he had a home cooked meal would make you happy. You would nag him constantly about drinking too much coffee and eating take out. It came from a place of love, however and Yoongi never minded. He loved having someone so attentive to his health when he’d blatantly ignore it. It showed you cared. Also, he secretly loved being babied by you. He’d never admit it out loud or to his friends but you knew. There was nothing better than coming home, a bath prepared for him to soothe his sore muscles, a meal on the table, and cuddling into your soft breasts while your rubbed his back—always being careful with his shoulder.

Your already nurturing nature and tendency to baby Yoongi increased tenfold once he got surgery. You barely let him leave the bed, even following him to the bathroom to make sure he didn’t hurt himself. A little bit stifling but he was so grateful to you. You always took care of him.

“Then that sounds great. I’ll leave my door open for you. I love you, baby.”

“I love you too. See you soon.”

With a giddy pep in your step, you finished cooking dinner, packaging it nicely in cute Tupperware before putting it in a bag. You had already showered and your clothes were fine but you wondered if you should put on something different. While Yoongi thought you looked good in anything, you still liked to look pretty for him; wearing dresses and heels whenever you went out, keeping your nails and toes done, and making appointments to get waxed every month. Self care was important to you. It not only made you feel good about yourself but it was also something you just liked to do for your husband.

Deciding to change your clothes, you slipped on a t shirt maxi dress that hugged and showed off all of your curves, along with some short open toed shoes to show off your freshly painted white toes. It was simple but still dressy and feminine, just your style.

Checking your hair once more in the mirror and smearing on some lip gloss, you grabbed the bag of food and your keys before exiting your home.

HYBE Studios was a pretty moderate drive from your apartment. The reason for that is to keep crazy fans from ever finding it. Once the company realized other idols were having their homes broken into, there was a decision to move all of the boys about 30 minutes from the company in a luxury gated neighborhood. You had to admit, you missed your old apartment you shared with Yoongi since that was their first place together but you also couldn’t complain about the walk in closet and the jacuzzi bathtub.

You greeted the security guard in front of the car garage, him lifting the block to the garage. After parking close to the company cars that were often used to transport the boys during RunBTS, you exited your car and made your way through the side door to the lobby.

You nodded at the secretary, everyone already knowing who you were and letting you pass with no issue.

Yoongi’s studio was on the 8th floor at the end of the hall. Namjoon’s was just a short distance away as well.

Once you reached his door, you entered the pin code on the keypad. Besides a few staff members and the boys, you were one of the few with the password to his studio. He just preferred silence and no disruptions so the code was only used during emergencies or whenever you or the boys came to visit. There was also a group chat for everyone with his code, adorably named ‘The Plastics’, courtesy of Taehyung. If they ever needed to come to his studio, they’d send a text beforehand so he’d know to expect them.

The beep sounded and you opened the door, smiling at the sight of your husband who was cutely leaned over on his right palm as his eyes scanned the production screen for his music. You didn’t get most of it but you always found it adorable when he’d try to explain. He’d get so invested in telling you how reverb and delay could either make or break a song that he’d never see how endearingly you’d stare at him. And he’d always get surprised when you’d lunge to bite his cheek.

“You are just too adorable! I have to bite you!”

His headphones were around his neck so he turned at the sound of his door opened, a smile immediately rising to his face at the sight of you. He removed his headphones, standing to greet you.

You could barely put the food down before his hands were around you waist, pulling you in for a hug. You wrapped your arms around his neck, cuddling into his body as you inhaled his cologne and the gentle scent of his favorite body wash.

He pulled away a little to press a few pecks to your forehead. “Hi baby.” His deep, slightly tired voice sent shivers down you spine. It was almost like his regular voice was just his morning voice constantly and out of all of the little things you loved about him, his voice was towards the top of your list—right after his newly grown out hair, his hands, and that little habit of him slurping whenever he’d explain things.

You inhaled a deep breath, basking in the affection. “Hi.”

You two just held each other for a moment, locked in an embrace and not wanting to let go. This was your special kind of intimacy, just not speaking or moving, simply holding one another.

Yoongi considered himself a pretty private person. A little ironic considering he was a world famous idol who’s whole job was being put in the spotlight. However, when it came to his personal relationships, he did his best to keep that as private as possible. Just imagine the uproar when people found out he was engaged. You had been hidden from the public eye for 3 straight years before you got engaged. How? One part extreme luck, the other part moving quietly. Your relationship started off with you meeting for the first time at a staff member’s wedding. You had designed her dress and she was so amazed and in love with how you created her dream dress that she insisted you come to her wedding. Always happy to see people overjoyed with your work and excited to see your design in action, of course you agreed. Coincidentally, you were sat pretty close to the table the boys were at. When you recognized them, you softly smiled and introduced yourself, expressing how you were a fan and how many women said they were using BTS songs as their wedding songs. Yoongi was drawn in instantly, your gentle voice and sparkling eyes as you talked about your clients drew him in. He could tell you were passionate about your career, just like he was.

After exchanging numbers while the bride and groom were cutting the cake, you two mainly texted and called each other in your free time. It took about 4 months for you to go on their first date since Yoongi had to go to America for promotions. He thought you’d lose interest since he traveled and couldn’t take you on a proper date but you never minded. You liked talking to Yoongi and found yourself developing feelings for him. He was trying and effort was one of your biggest green flags for a partner. A little distance wasn’t that big of a deal to you. Of course, you wanted to be able to be close to him and hold his hand and maybe even kiss but you knew what you were signing up for when you started talking.

Once Yoongi went on break, he started dedicating a lot of time to you; dates, inviting you to his place for dinner and wine, and learning more about you. He didn’t think you would get along so well. Talking on the phone was vastly different than being in each other’s physical presence but you had melded together like the pieces of a puzzle. You were so gentle and compassionate, always looking after him and giving him affection he hasn’t gotten in years. You were perfect for him and vice versa.

Your eyes slowly blinked up at him, just taking in his handsome features. You could spot the bags under his eyes, feeling a little sad that he was running himself ragged.

“You look tired. Have you slept since his morning?”

He hummed. “I took a little nap around lunch. The new couch came in.” You turned a little to look at the new addition to his studio. Before, he just had a small leather couch, moreso for decoration than comfort. Once he got a bigger studio, he upgraded his furniture but kept that couch. After some prodding from you, he ordered a new and more comfortable couch—one that could become a pull out bed for those overnights at the studio.

“It looks great.” It was a dark grey color, wide and stretched enough to fully support 2 people if you wanted to spoon on it.

“Yeah. I just didn’t think it would take that long to get it in the door. Namjoon almost knocked over my synthesizer.” He said that with a shake of his head. You giggled, imagining the tall and clumsy man scrambling to pick up the keyboard.

“I can only imagine. I brought food. You should eat it before it gets cold. I should go.” You tried pulling away from him only for him to tighten his grip on your waist. You let out an “oof” as your face met the hard planes of his chest. All that physical therapy and time in the gym had really bulked him up. While you loved his body regardless, you definitely weren’t complaining about the extra muscle. He was filling out this black shirt just fine.

He nuzzled his nose in your neck, inhaling your favorite perfume that you’ve worn since he met your. It was one of his favorite scents. His hands rubbed up and down your back, feeling all over the material of your dress.

“No, stay. Eat with me.”

Yoongi could be very affectionate and straightforward when he wanted to be, normally when you were alone. He’d never show this side in public. Not because he was ashamed of his love for your, far from that. He just preferred to keep their intimate moments private. Maybe a little kiss here and there and some hand holding but moments like this were for you only.

Your manicured fingers went to his nape, scratching at the hair there. “I don’t want to distract you.”

“You’re not.” He pulled back to look you in eyes. “I want you to eat with me. I feel bad we couldn’t have dinner at home.” And he did. He knew his job demanded a lot of his time and attention and even if you understood that, it didn’t stop him from feeling guilty about leaving you alone all the time. He knew you could entertain yourself and had your own life outside of him but he still felt bad not being able to spend as much time with you as he wanted. He missed you just as much. While he loved his job, nothing beat coming home to your warmth and affection. To be honest, he was getting a little touch starved.

He led you over to the couch, waiting for your to sit before going to the mini fridge in his studio.

“Do you want juice?” He asked as he pulled out a couple of drinks. He always kept some of your favorites in his mini fridge just in case. You didn’t drink caffeine or really any alcohol, water and juices were your favorites.

You nodded your head, beginning to take out the Tupperware containers. They were still nice and hot. He placed a juice down on the table, along with an energy drink. You frowned at that, leaning forward to pick it up.

“You need to drink water. Don’t think I haven’t noticed those coffee cups on your desk.”

He rolled his eyes and sighed but couldn’t hide his smile. You were too good to him. Sometimes he felt like he didn’t deserve you. Taking the energy drink from you, he went back to the fridge to grab a water instead.

Ignoring the smug smile on your face, he sat next to you, waiting for you to open all of the containers. The smell was delicious, making his stomach growl.

Your handed him some chopsticks and a few napkins before sliding the steak over to him. “Here. Try it.”

You ate in silence, him using his chopsticks to place some pieces of steak and vegetables in your bowl. You smiled, the cute ways Yoongi showed he cared always making your heart warm. Fans knew he was more subtle in showing he cared and that wasn’t any different than him in private. You had to learn that his love language was acts of service but in a more quiet way.

After you finished eating, he helped clean up the containers, giving you some wipes to clean your hands and the table.

He let out of a groan as he sat back down on the couch, belly full and fully ready for a nap. But he knew he had to get back to work and that meant you had to leave.

“Thanks, baby. It was delicious.” His hand came to rest on your thigh, rubbing the soft skin. You hummed, placing your hand on top of his.

“Of course. I’m happy you liked it.” You both rested for a moment before you began moving. “I should go. You have work to do.”

You barely made it to your feet before he was tugging you back down on his lap. A surprised yelp came from your lips at the sudden movement, ass meeting his thighs when you landed. He situated you so that you straddled his hips, his hands immediately going to your ass.

“Baby….” You pouted, feeling a little shy all of a sudden. You were normally the one who initiated physical affection so for Yoongi to do it so roughly surprised you. You weren’t complaining, however. The way his eyes were hooded over and how he looked up at you with that dark endearment made your belly tingle. You knew where this was going.

“Stay.” His left hand pressed your body down so your chest squished against his. “You come here in this dress and my favorite shoes…”

You adjusted yourself to wrap your arms around his neck. “I hardly wear these.”

He shrugged. “I love anything you wear. You look so sexy.” His hand traveled up your dress, moving it up your ass so he could grope full handfuls of the fat. While Yoongi appreciated all parts of your body, your ass was his favorite. Genetics, exercise and a little bit of happy weight had all accumulated into jiggly ass he loved to squeeze and slap. When you met, you were pretty thin but in shape nonetheless. Fans speculated that you gained ‘happy relationship weight’ since Yoongi treats you right. Whatever the reason, he thanks the higher power every day for it.

You could feel the heat beginning to spark between you, along with Yoongi’s growing boner pressing against your panties. Now that you thought about it, it’s been a little while since you’ve been intimate. You and Yoongi have barely had any time for quickies, let alone a full session of sex. And you two could go for hours if you wanted. On the day of your engagement, you barely left the hotel room because you couldn’t keep your hands off him. How could you? He was your fiancé. Mmm, that word just got you hot and bothered.

Your hands ran up his neck and into his hair, scratching at his scalp. The low hum of contentment that came from him spurred you on. You brought your faces closer together, lips hovering before you trapped him in a kiss. He hummed again, lifting his head to kiss you deeper, hands still squeezing at your ass.

Your kiss grew more heady, both of your hands massaging each other and trying to stroke any piece of skin you could. Yoongi began pushing against you to make your roll your hips against him. His cock could probably cut glass from how hard he was. You always got him excited with barely doing anything. To be honest, he started getting hard the moment you entered the room. Just your presence got him feeling almost immediately horny.

And it was the same for you. Your cunt had began getting wet the moment Yoongi turned around in his chair. He just looked so comfortable and effortlessly sexy and the way his muscles strained against that shirt made your imagination run wild.

You pulled away to inhale a deep breath. “Yoongi….please…”

His lazy smirk sent a rush straight to your already wet pussy. “What do you need, baby? Tell me.”

God he was such a tease but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t absolutely love it.

“I need you.”

That was all he needed before he moved to flip you onto your back. You bounced against the soft couch cushions, barely getting your bearings before he was back on you, pressing his lips to yours.

His large hands traveled up your dress, lifting it over your belly and breasts. He leaned back to get a look, letting out a groan at the absolute beauty under him.

Your chest was heaving from just a little kissing, your goddess locks spread out under you, glossed lips plump and ready for more. You were so gorgeous and he made sure to let you know.

You squirmed under the compliment, feeling giddy and a bit bashful. You always received compliments and the occasional catcall and while you accepted the respectful ones gracefully, none of those ever mattered to you. Yoongi’s praise and compliments put you on cloud 9 and you really believed him.

His hands traveled up your body to your breasts, eyes catching something under your bra. He pulled the annoying piece of fabric down and if he could get any harder, he probably would.

“Fuck. You’re wearing your piercings? Did you come here to try and kill me?” The little diamonds sparkled under the light. He remembers buying the jewelry for your birthday last year. He also remembers sucking the sensitive nipples until you were crying just an hour later.

You giggled, biting your lip. “Of course not.”

His smirk widened. “You little sneak.” His hands went to grope at the soft flesh, a sigh falling from your lips. His thumbs ran lightly over the stiff peaks, pulling more sighs and little squeaks from your lips. Your nipples had gotten so much more sensitive after piercings. Yoongi couldn’t be too rough on them when you first got them, being careful of your healing process. He could barely touch them without you gasping in the slight pain from healing. Of course, he never complained, understanding your pain so he just stopped touching them. He just didn’t think it would test his control so much; seeing you walk around without a shirt sometimes, the already silky and delectable breasts looking more appetizing from the little barbells. Months had passed along with many maintenance appointments before you announced that they could be touched without pain. With the pain gone, your sensitivity skyrocketed and with Yoongi’s skilled tongue beginning their assault, your pleasure had been taken to a new level.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer and his mouth open to lick over your nipple. You let out a moan as his tongue swirled all around your piercing. He switched to the next one, giving it the same treatment.

The heat between your legs was becoming too much, your panties beginning to feel uncomfortable from how they were sticking to you.

“Yoongi….” You whined. His eyes lifted to lock on your flustered face, lips parted as puffs of air came through them, your eyes desperate and pleading for anything. Everything.

Reluctantly pulling away from your nipples, he helped you pull the dress from your body, tossing it somewhere in the room. Neither of you cared.

He kissed from your breasts to your tummy until he reached the apex of your thick thighs. You immediately dropped them open, revealing yourself to him. He groaned at your desperation but also at the sight of your soaked underwear. The thong barely covered anything, the baby blue fabric now dark from your arousal. It was practically leaking from you, the bottom of your ass shining. Kissing over the stretch marks that streaked down the inside of your thighs, he whispered words of praise to you.

“Fuck baby. You’re so fucking wet.” He couldn’t help himself, surging forward to suck on your clit through your panties. A shiver racked your body, your hands coming down to bury in his hair. The friction wasn’t as good with your panties still keeping his tongue from making direct contact with your clit but it was something. And it felt so good.

Your hips jerked against his face, trying to get more. His hands dug into the meat of your thighs, holding them open as his tongue licked at your clit.

More moans fell from your lips, pleasure causing your vision to go blurry. You felt so close already and he’s barely done anything. Blame it on you not having a proper orgasm for weeks. Your hands just didn’t feel the same and Yoongi had thrown out all of your vibrators once you two started having sex.

“You won’t need these anymore. All your orgasms should come from me.”

Now you were remembering why he threw them out in the first place. Only he could rip pleasure and orgasms from your body in seconds, playing your body like a piano.

Your hand came down your body, tapping against his forehead. He pulled away slightly, eyes searching your face for any sign of discomfort. You really only stopped him when you were shaking in overstimulation and he knew you hadn’t even cum yet so why were you stopping him?

When he pulled back, you grabbed onto your panties, pulling them aside to reveal your fat and dripping pussy to him.

How the hell did he get so lucky? Did he save orphans in his past life or something? Not only had he managed to put a ring on a kind, generous, and absolutely amazing person who treated him like a King and opened up the deepest parts of him, he also managed to snag a submissive, slutty, and needy woman who could ride his cock for hours and bend in ways he’s only dreamed of.

There was no way.

Eyes darkening in lust, he dove back in to capture your clit, licking at it more furiously than before. The heat from his mouth made that pressure build in your lower belly, your toes curling from their position in the air. Your loud moans only pushed him further, shoving 2 fingers in your tight heat. Your slick walls gripped his fingers so tightly that he could barely move them.

“Y-Yoongi! I’m gonna-“

He curled his fingers up, pulling away from your clit to lean up close to your face, his breath hitting your cheeks. “You gonna cum? You’re such a good girl.” He pressed some kisses to your open mouth, fingers thrusting in and out of your in a superhuman pace, veins and muscles in his arms shifting and bulging from the exertion.

When your orgasm crashed, you swore all of your senses except touch disappeared. You couldn’t hear and your vision blurred from the tears that had welled in your eyes. But Yoongi didn’t stop.

Your hand flew down to grab at his wrist, back arching as he continued his assault, helping you ride the huge wave.

He pulled his lip between his teeth. You were so sexy.

Once you came down, he slowly pulled his fingers from your, the digits glistening in your release. He sucked them into his mouth, moaning at the taste. He just couldn’t get enough.

Now he wanted more. Standing from the couch, he pulled off his own shirt and pants, taking his briefs with them. His hard cock slapped against his stomach, red at the tip and practically pulsing.

You bit your lip, thighs squeezing together as your pussy throbbed. Fuck you were so wet.

He flopped back on the couch, patting his lap. “Come ride this cock, baby.”

Not needing to be told twice, you crawled over into his lap, taking your bra and ruined panties off on the way.

His hands gripped your ass once you were straddled on his hips. You could feel the heavy weight of his cock pressing on your ass and it filled you with excitement.

Reaching your hand back, you gripped his cock, pumping it a few times. He groaned, head falling back against the couch at your touch.

Delivering a sharp slap to your ass, he growled, “stop teasing.”

His deep and demanding voice sent shivers down your spine. Never one to disobey, you lifted your hips, lining up his cock with your entrance. You rubbed the tip over your opening to gather some of your wetness before you slowly began sinking down on him.

A moan came from both of you as his thick cock began splitting you open. Your walls were squeezing him so tight that he felt like he could cum right there but he refrained. He wasn’t even all the way inside yet.

Your mouth was dropped open as his cock stretched you open, head tossed back and eyes closed as you basked in the feeling. Each ridge and vein was pressing against you in the most delicious way, the slight curve pressing against that spot deep inside of you. You felt like you could cum again just like this.

Once your ass met his thighs, you both let out sighs. Not only from pleasure but from being able to be close like this. This is what you needed; this closeness, this union, this intimacy. Sex was so much more to you than just getting off. It bonded you and brought you closer than ever, love spilling over and intertwining your hearts and souls.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in for a sweeter and more sensual kiss.

“I love you…” you whispered against his lips.

“I love you too.”

Your hips began rolling against him, slowly at first to get accumulated to the stretch. He assisted you with one hand on your ass and one on your hip.

Before long, you began raising your hips, falling back down on his lap. The low clapping sounds spurring you on.

Yoongi groaned against your lips. “That’s it, baby. Faster.” With another sharp slap to your ass that made you moan, you bounced faster. Your ass jiggled each time it connected with his thighs and a part of him wished he could see it but the blissed out look on your face was too good to pass up.

Unwrapping your arms from his neck, you leaned back to get that perfect angle, your hands landing on his knees. A squeak fell from you as his tip began bullying your soft spot. Your head fell back, mouth dropped open as that delicious feeling began building in the pit of your stomach.

“Ah! Yoongi! Your cock feels s-so good!” You felt drunk, mind hazy and awareness faded. All you could focus on was the feel of him under you and the way his perfect cock slipped in and out. Your entire body felt like it was on fire, electricity spreading all the way to your fingertips and making your toes curl.

Yoongi couldn’t take his eyes off you. He didn’t even know where to look; your breasts, face, where you were connected? He could see how your arousal was dripping down to wet his pubic hair, a ring of your wetness coating the base of his cock. You were truly was a sight to behold.

That pressure was building faster than you thought. Sliding your hand down your body, your fingers connected with your clit, rubbing the nub in fast circles.

“Yoongi!”

He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. Your walls clenched and constricted around him, almost suffocating him. His hands rubbed at your nipples, flicking at the piercings. You were seeing stars, the stimulation was too much. His hands roaming you, your own fingers on your clit, and his cock inside of you was all too much.

That pressure…..

“I’m cumming!”

Your hips lifted from his cock, it falling out to slap against his stomach. Your fingers rubbed at your clit until some drips of liquid came out. The motion of your fingers caused the droplets to fly everywhere, some landing on the cushions as well.

Once you were done riding it out, he was flipping you back on the couch, head pressed into the cushions and ass up in the air. He delivered a few slaps to your ass, pulling some moans from your at the sting. Your head was swimming, the sudden movement making you a little dizzy but that dizziness quickly left when Yoongi entered you again.

His cock entered you in one swift motion, hips immediately working to push and pull against you. Your ass clapped back on his hips, the fat jiggling and rippling with every move. His own orgasm was just over the horizon.

“You are so fucking sexy.” Each word was punctuated by a thrust. “You come in here looking this good and then you bounce on my cock until you squirt? Why the fuck have I been spending all my time here when you’re at home?” He was really talking to himself. Only a true idiot would leave a hot piece of ass like this at home all day. And he must really be a true idiot, probably the dumbest man alive. But not anymore.

Your moans were rising in pitch. With this position, you could every inch, every curve, absolutely everything. You could barely breathe, your brain only being able to form utterances of his name and begs of faster and harder.

That feeling in Yoongi began cresting, balls drawing up as his orgasm washed over him. His hands gripped your hips and ass hard enough to bruise but you could care less. He could bruise you up all he wanted.

His orgasm spread from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, shuddering his whole body. “F-fuck….” He breathed out. That was probably the hardest orgasm he’s ever had in his life.

Your own breath began to even out. You thought that was the end but you were suddenly flipped around back on your back. Both of your legs were hiked up over his right shoulder, thighs pressing into your chest in Yoongi’s absolute favorite position.

“You think I’m done with you?” His smirk was teasing and it caused more arousal to drip from you. He reached his hand down to line himself up before pushing into your heat. A gasp came from your throat at the intrusion, your hands coming to grip at the back of his neck.

His hips set a brutal pace, balls wetly slapping against your ass.

“Oh my god! Y-Yoongi!”

It felt like he was in your throat, every thrust hitting you in all the right spots. Your nails scratched at his neck, the slight sting only pushing him harder. He could feel your walls tightening, a tell tale sign of your orgasm. Your breasts bounced with every push, dark nipples looking incredibly enticing.

“Cum, baby. That’s it.”

Your body seized up as your second orgasm full body absorbed you. Your vision spotted white and your ears were ringing.

But not even your orgasm made him stop or slow down. He pushed faster and harder, the squelching noises getting louder as more and more wetness spilled from you.

It was like your orgasm wouldn’t stop. Wave after wave came over you. Every nerve was lit on fire, your mouth dropped but no sound came out. He had taken every word from you.

When he felt you squirt on his cock again, he shoved his full cock inside. Your toes curled so hard that you could feel them crack, legs shaking but he held them tightly. Your hands smacked against his shoulders as the stimulation became too much. You were so full.

“Yoongi!”

“Take it. Take all that cock, baby.”

You had no choice but you didn’t care. You’d give up every choice if it meant he’d fuck you like this.

He rolled his hips against yours a few more times before his own orgasm washed over him. He groaned into your throat, a full body shudder racking his body.

Lifting his head, he connected your lips in a soft kiss, a complete turn from what just went down. You hummed against his lips, hands roaming his soft skin.

He moved your legs from his shoulders, massaging your slightly sore muscles as you kissed. You both let out small moans as he pulled out of your heat, his cum flowing out of you.

Yoongi helped you clean yourself up, giving you a large elastic to tie up your hair. The sweat would definitely make your roots curl back up but that was a problem for another day. You put your dress back on as Yoongi pulled his shirt and pants back on. Your underwear found themselves tucked into his back pocket. A little silly considering he had endless access to you pussy but you guessed it was some man thing.

When Yoongi went back to his computer, leaning over the chair to click at some things, you visibly deflated, mood dampening. Was he really going back to work? You guessed you did just come to drop off food, the sex was a bonus and you did say you would leave afterwards. You just couldn’t help but feel a little sad and used. Yoongi was the king of aftercare, always running you a bath or giving you cuddles as you two calmed down from lovemaking. It’s not like this one moment would make you think Yoongi didn’t care but you did feel a little defeated.

Gathering your things, you were about to approach the door but Yoongi’s voice stopped you.

“Where are you going?”

You didn’t turn to face him, feeling a little embarrassed. “Home. Aren’t you going back to work?”

A snort came from him. “Of course not.”

You gasped when his body pressed against your back, also the feeling of his boner was right on your ass.

“Yoongi….”

“You really think I’m about to work and let you go home so you can wash my cum out of you? I’m fucking you until you can’t walk.”

Maybe you should come to the studio more often.

#bts fic #bts #yoongi studio sex #yoongi x reader #bts smut #bts x black reader #jimin smut #namjoon smut #hoseok smut #seokjin smut #jungkook smut #taehyung smut #yoongi smut #Yoongi imagine

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03jyh23 · 19 days

Text

— whispers of forever || kim hongjoong

true love isn't about finding someone perfect, but finding someone who perfectly complements your imperfections

idol!hongjoong x reader

genre: fluff

trigger warnings: none! contains elements of anticipation, excitement, and romantic gestures.

words: 3.1 k

reminder: what you're about to read is purely fiction, so let's keep it separate from reality.

minors do not interact

— hi there! thank you @etherealtyjaem for requesting this prompt, i absolutely adore this one and i hope you will like it too! i'm a bit nervous because my imagination got carried away in the ending, but i hope you'll like it!

love, monika. ♡

On a breathtaking late spring night, you and Hongjoong found yourselves in your garden, nestled on a newly bought outdoor sofa. As the clock neared midnight, a blanket of stars adorned the night sky, casting a celestial glow over you and Hongjoong. Your boyfriend holds you tenderly against his chest, arms encircling your waist with a gentle embrace. Your fingers intertwine on your stomach, while his head finds solace in the comforting curve of your neck. His breath, a gentle caress against your skin, elicits a soft smile from your lips. In the sanctuary of Hongjoong’s embrace, you find a haven of safety and warmth. No words are needed as you bask in the serenity of the moment, content in the simple pleasure of being together. After a week of spending every night in the studio, Hongjoong finally earned a precious few days off. Eager to make up for his absence, he expressed his desire to whisk you away on a small trip overseas. However, mindful of his packed schedule with the release of a new album and an upcoming tour, you simply longed for him to stay with you in the comfort of your shared home.

By now, you had grown accustomed to the rhythm of being on your own, immersing yourself in work and errands while Hongjoong poured his heart and soul into his music. Despite the familiarity of the separation, you couldn't shake the longing for him to be beside you, especially at night. As much as you tried to fill the void with distractions, sleep remained elusive without his comforting presence nearby. The emptiness of your bed served as a constant reminder of his absence, leaving you yearning for the warmth of his embrace. The knowledge that instead of catching a few hours of sleep, your boyfriend stayed up all night working only compounded the difficulty of falling asleep. While you tossed and turned, grappling with the insistent pull of exhaustion, your mind couldn't help but wander to him—imagining him immersed in his creative process, pouring his passion into every note and lyric. Each failed attempt at sleep served as a silent testament to the sacrifice and dedication he poured into his craft, leaving you torn between admiration and longing for his presence by your side.

As you delicately turn your head to admire the beauty of your boyfriend, you meet Hongjoong's eyes. shimmering with affection, and a smile graces his lips.

"You are so handsome," you whisper into his ear, your breath warm against his skin. You placed a tender kiss on his cheek. "How did I get so lucky?" you murmur softly, the words tinged with wonder and gratitude. As you gaze at Hongjoong, a flood of memories and emotions wash over you, reminding you of all the moments you two shared. Hongjoong’s smile was your favorite, nothing compared to it, and in that moment, nothing else mattered but the beauty of his smile.

"Well... I think you must have saved the world in your previous life," he said jokingly, before leaning in to connect your lips in a brief, affectionate kiss. You playfully hit his arm, a mock scowl forming on your lips.

"You were supposed to tell me you're the lucky one here!" you teased, your playful pout betraying the amusement dancing in your eyes. Hongjoong kissed you once again, his lips brushing against yours tenderly.

"My bad," he said with a grin. "I'm so, so lucky to have the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world!" he joked, his eyes twinkling with affection.

"That's better," you replied with a smile, your fingers tracing small circles on his hands. The silence enveloped you once more. In the quiet moments shared together, there was an unspoken understanding—an intimacy that transcended words. "How's work? Did you manage to finish the lyrics you told me about earlier?" you inquired; your voice filled with genuine interest.

"Well, it was one hell of a ride. I think I haven't slept for two nights just to finish that one song, but I don't think Mingi is happy with the outcome," Hongjoong admitted, a hint of weariness creeping into his voice.

"How come?"

"I think he has a different vision for the song," Hongjoong explained, a touch of frustration evident in his tone. "We had some creative differences, and it's been a bit of a challenge finding common ground. But we'll work it out. It's all part of the process." After Hongjoong's explanation, you listened attentively, understanding the challenges that come with creative collaboration. With a reassuring smile, you gently squeeze his hand, offering your support and encouragement.

"Hey, you're incredibly talented, and I know you'll find a way to make it work," you said, your voice filled with confidence in him. "You've overcome obstacles before, and this is no different. I believe in you, and I'm here for you every step of the way." Hongjoong smiled gratefully at your words, the warmth of your support easing the weight of his concerns.

"Thank you, baby," he said softly, his eyes reflecting appreciation. "It's just... while working on this album, I've had a lot of different thoughts and emotions." you reached out, gently brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead.

"I understand," you murmured, your voice filled with empathy. "Creative processes can be overwhelming sometimes, but remember, you're not alone in this." Hongjoong's voice was a gentle whisper, laden with vulnerability as he confessed,

"To be honest, before I met you, I thought I had everything I ever wanted." His gaze was shy, unable to meet yours,

"Why the sudden confession?" you asked, taken aback by the unexpected words.

"I’ve been thinking about it for a while now" Hongjoong admitted, his breath shaky, voice tinged with sincerity. "I had my members, fans, and money eventually came too." A soft chuckle escaped his lips before he added, "But then I met you, and it's like... my life wasn't whole before." The weight of his words hung in the air, carrying the depth of his emotions as he dared to bare his soul to you. "Aside from the success and the love from fans, there was always a void I couldn't quite fill. Meeting you changed everything. Suddenly, I found myself longing for more than just superficial achievements. Your presence brought a warmth to my heart that I didn't know was missing. With you, it's like I've discovered a new dimension of happiness and purpose. I never want to let that go." As Hongjoong's heartfelt confession washed over you, you were left speechless, overwhelmed by his emotions. While you may struggle with finding the right words to express yourself, Hongjoong has always possessed a gift for articulating his feelings. Hongjoong's way with words always amazed you, especially in such moments. His ability to express love and warmth made you feel grateful for him.

"I will never let you let me go, so don’t worry." Hongjoong's eyes soften with love as he hears your heartfelt declaration, a sense of warmth spreading through him. “I love you” Hongjoong's breath catches, his eyes locking with yours in a tender moment.

"I love you too," he whispers, his voice filled with sincerity and affection. "More than words can express."

"Do you ever think about the future?" Hongjoong's gaze softens as he considers your question, his mind drifting to the possibilities ahead.

"After I met you, yeah I do, all the time," he admits, his voice tinged with both excitement and uncertainty, "I used to believe that ATEEZ was the only future I wanted, to be honest, my teenage self never wanted anything else than to live off music, as it was the only thing that mattered.” His eyes, usually focused and determined, now carried a hint of vulnerability. "When I first set out on this journey with ATEEZ, music was my whole world. It consumed me in the best way possible. But meeting you has shown me that life is much richer and more complex than I ever imagined. Now, I see a future where music is still a vital part of who I am, but it's no longer the only thing defining me." Feeling Hongjoong's embrace grow tighter, you're drawn closer to his chest, the warmth of his touch enveloping. His hand cups your cheek tenderly, his touch gentle yet firm, as he draws you in for a kiss. In that moment, the world fades away, leaving only the two of you. As you pull away from the kiss, a smile plays on your lips, your eyes reflecting the warmth of the moment.

"I'm glad I can be that source of comfort and trust for you," you say, your voice filled with genuine appreciation. "To know that I can bring you peace and happiness means everything to me. We're in this together, supporting each other through thick and thin, and I wouldn't have it any other way." Hongjoong smiled softly, his heart swelling with gratitude for your understanding and acceptance.

"I don't think I ever told you that but as the leader I always am the one responsible," Hongjoong continued, his tone carrying a mix of pride and vulnerability "Don’t get me wrong, being a leader is something I take a lot of pride in, but I was always scared to admit to my mistakes or to tell the guys about my true feelings. But with you, I'm learning to open up. You've taught me that your love embraces my imperfections, rather than overlooking them," Hongjoong expressed gratefully, his words resonate deeply, revealing the weight of responsibility he carries as a leader.

"It's okay to feel that way," you reassure him, your voice a gentle reminder of the support he finds in you. "Being a leader comes with its own set of challenges and expectations, but you don't have to bear them alone. I'm here to listen, to support you, and to remind you that it's okay to be human—to make mistakes, to express doubts, and to share your true feelings. Your vulnerability is what makes you real, and it's a beautiful part of who you are. I love you for all of it, imperfections and all.'' You lean in and peck his lips, your hands gently resting on his cheek. You pull back slightly, looking into his eyes filled with gratitude and unshed tears. His grip on you tightens as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go.

"Thank you," he whispers, his voice barely audible, breaking slightly under the weight of his emotions. His breath tickles your hair as he leans his forehead against yours, closing his eyes for a moment of tranquility. "I don't know what I'd do without you," you can feel his heartbeat against your back, steady and comforting. His vulnerability in this moment only makes you love him more. You understand the pressure he's under, the weight of the world seemingly on his shoulders, and you want nothing more than to share that load with him. You run your fingers gently through his hair, offering him a comforting smile.

"You'll never have to find out," you assure him, your words a soft promise in the quiet space. You lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, a silent promise of your unwavering support and love. ''Tell me, when thinking about the future do you see it together with me and ATEEZ?" Hongjoong's gaze softens as he considers your question, his thoughts drifting to the future.

"I do," he responds with a smile, his voice filled with conviction. "I see a future where we continue to support each other's dreams, where our love only gets stronger. And whatever challenges come our way we will face them together. As long as we're together, I know we can overcome anything. I believe in us, our love, and the bright future that awaits us." In the moment after Hongjoong's heartfelt confession, you're overcome with a rush of emotions—love, gratitude, and a fierce longing to express your feelings in return. Without hesitation, you turn around and place yourself on top of his lap, then you lean in, pulling Hongjoong by his neck.

"Hongjoong," you whisper against his lips, "I love you. I see that future too, and I want nothing more than to face it with you." Your lips meet in a passionate kiss that ignites a fire between you. The world fades away as you lose yourself in the moment, your heart beating in sync with his. Each touch, each caress, is a testament to the depth of your love. As you finally pull away, breathless and flushed with emotion, you meet Hongjoong's gaze, a silent understanding passing between you. In that shared glance, you find reassurance, knowing that your love is as boundless as the stars above and that together, you can conquer anything that comes your way. "I need to tell you something," you announce, your voice tinged with nerves. "I can't shake this feeling that as ATEEZ continues to grow, I might end up being a distraction." Hongjoong's eyes soften with understanding as he listens to your confession, a gentle smile playing on his lips.

"You could never be a distraction," he assures you, his hands gently caressing your back, his voice filled with sincerity. "You're my rock and my greatest source of inspiration. ATEEZ may be reaching new heights, but you'll always be an integral part of my life, my muse, and my greatest ally. You're my partner, my equal, and my greatest love, not a distraction." A sense of relief washes over you as you hear those words.

"I really needed to hear that," you admitted, feeling a weightlifting off your shoulders. Sometimes, you find yourself overwhelmed by Hongjoong's popularity, knowing that his career should be his number one priority. Hearing his understanding and support meant everything to you.

“Speaking of the future... where should I propose?” Hongjoong's playful tone brings a smile to your face as you entertain the idea, the thought of your future together filling you with warmth.

"Hmm, let me think," you reply, playing along with his jest. "Well, since we both love adventure and exploring new places, how about somewhere that holds special meaning for us?" you suggest. "Maybe a secluded spot in the mountains where we can watch the sunset?"

“Please don’t make me climb a mountain before asking the question” You join in his laughter, the playful exchange bringing a sense of lightness to the moment.

"Fair enough," you chuckle. "How about we keep it simple then? A cozy spot with a beautiful view and a lot less hiking involved? As long as we’re together, it'll be perfect." your words are met with a nod and a smile from Hongjoong.

''Well... we are together now and the view is beautiful.'' Hongjoong's suggestive tone catches you off guard, but a rush of excitement courses through you at the prospect of taking this step together, here and now. ''So... what about now?''

"Now?" you repeat, feeling your heart race with anticipation. He nods, a playful glint in his eyes as he takes your hand.

"Why not?" he responds, a mischievous grin tugging at his lips. "Life's too short to wait for the perfect moment. Let's make this moment ours." With a quickening heartbeat, you take a deep breath and nod, feeling the weight of the moment settling around you. Hongjoong released you from his embrace, a sudden sense of excitement sparking in his eyes as he dashed into the house. Your heart raced with anticipation. Could he really be doing what you thought he was? You sprang up from the sofa, nerves, and excitement mingling in your chest. Hastily, you glanced at yourself in the window, adjusting your hair with trembling fingers, making sure everything was just right. Just as you finished, Hongjoong returned, a small pink box clutched in his hand. Your heart skips a beat, anticipation coursing through your veins. You meet his gaze, feeling a rush of emotions swirling within you. Hongjoong approaches you slowly, and then he kneels before you. Your breath catches as his eyes lock with yours, filled with love and determination.

“I can’t believe we are really doing this right now” you whispered, eyes full of tears, heart pounding in your chest. Hongjoong's eyes shimmer with emotion as he takes in your tear-filled gaze, his heart swelling with love and anticipation.

"Neither can I," he whispers back, his voice thick with emotion. "But I know in my heart that this is right. That you're the one I want to share my life with, through every joy and every challenge." With trembling hands, he opens the box, revealing a ring that sparkles in the soft light. "I love you more than words can say," he continues, his voice steady with conviction. "And I promise to cherish and protect you for the rest of my days. Let's spend our lives together, side by side. Y/N, will you make me the happiest man alive and become my wife?" the question leaves you breathless. As you kneel beside Hongjoong, a wave of joy and relief washes over him, his eyes sparkling with happiness.

"Well, since you asked so nicely, I guess I can make an exception and marry you." Hongjoong's eyes widen in mock disbelief before a wide smile spreads across his face as he takes your hand in his, his fingers trembling slightly with emotion.

"Really?" Hongjoong asks, his voice filled with a mixture of disbelief and joy. You nod, a tear escaping your eye as you try to contain your overwhelming emotions.

"Yes, really," you confirm, "I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you." With a tender smile, Hongjoong brings your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss against your skin.

"I'm the luckiest man in the world," he murmurs, his voice filled with awe and gratitude. "To have you by my side, to share this journey with you—it's a dream come true." With trembling hands, he slips the ring onto your finger, sealing your promise with a tender kiss. "Forever and always," he whispers, his voice full of love.

"And I'm the luckiest woman in the world," you whisper back, your voice filled with emotion. With tears of joy shimmering in your eyes, you lean in to press your lips against his, savoring the sweet taste of his love and the promise of a future filled with endless possibilities.

#hongjoong x y/n #hongjoong x reader #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #hongjoong fluff #ateez au #hongjoong au

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baezdylan · 1 year

Note

....I come baring playlists and excessive amounts of explanation as to what's on them and why....

SO!!! I made three different playlists for All Night In Your Garden / The Musician AU!!! Because I can only do things in excess it seems!!! And I'm burdening you with all of them!!!

to start off, this is the one I made based on your answer to the ask about it, so I'm hoping it's the closest to your vision for it. it's 2hrs long and i spent an obscene amount of time trying to structure it properly (it even has an intermission section)!!!! i'm going to go through it song by song (even if I could and I want to) because that would take far too long. I will however, summarise it, to fulfil my burning need to over-explain myself at any give moment.

it's got most of the songs you talked about in your post: Berlin, The Prophet's Song, I Have Friends In Holy Spaces, Ghost Song, Subterranean Homesick Alien, Tragic Kingdom.

and then I had to fill in the spaces with other tracks:

Northern Downpour went with IHFIHS because they are holding hands and it would be wrong to split them up <3

To go with the "horrifying rawness" of Lou Reed, I got some Elliot Smith and two versions of Famous Blue Raincoat (Cohen's original and The Like's cover, because it's just !!!!!!!!!),

The Other Girl by The Young Veins is also there because of Reed but the connection is because the chorus section reminded me of Berlin (you're right and i'm wrong // hey babe i'm gonna miss you now that you're gone 🤝 you were right, I was wrong, like I always am and you always are)

Had to get some Paramore in the form of This Is Why (because the bass reminded me of Ghost Song, vaguely) and Playing God (amyrory core, cannot explain further)

On the anti-genre label....when Panic!'s first album came out, critics got *creative* with defining it's genre...a few of my favourite "genres" that came out of this were baroquemo, vaudevillian rock, theatrical folk, melodic dance rock and spiky dance pop, so with that in mind, I had to get in some A Fever You Can't Sweat Out tracks: Intermission (will talk more about it later) and There's A Good Reason... (Jazz-inspired Dark Cabaret, the lyrics are very...spiteful and fun, defo along the vibes of taunting someone or "bursting into somebody’s room uninvited or crashing a party")

PINK FLOYD!!! OBVIOUSLY!!! Wish You Were has more of that raw feeling, it's part of the intermission!!! Brain Damage and Childhood's End make appearances as well!!!

Bauhaus + Cocteau Twins are on there for more of that disordered sound. Spellbound by Siouxsie and the Banshees has similar vibes + reminds me of She's Lost Control by Joy Division for some weird reason.

FOR THE INTERMISSION SECTION!!!! (my favourite and most important section):

I've already touched on A Fever You Can't Sweat Out's presence on the playlist but it just...!!!! it falls in line with a lot of what you said!!! it's anti-genre, it's got radio transmissions, it's spiteful and angsty but also very well constructed for an album written by 18/19yr olds!!!!!

and all of this is culminated in the intermission track, it goes from the techno/dance inspired tracks on the first half of the album to the more orchestral pieces on the second half by transitioning into a piano piece with a scratchy radio transmission to mark the switch (Ladies and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control, We are unable to continue our broadcast of dance music, We shall continue now with our piano instrumental) !!!!!!

BUT THAT'S NOT THE ONLY PART!!!!!

because you know what else has some scratchy radio type audio at the start!!! Wish You Were Here!!! I am firm in my belief that ANIYG would have this really messy intermission section to hide the most honest track of the album!!!! a song hidden in plain sight!!!

to close the intermission section, sandwiching WYWH in between to instrumentals, a piece from the Coraline soundtrack (The Fantastic Garden)!!!

I use a few tracks from Coraline to create the illusion of structure, so everything opens and closes with them!!!

there are loads of stuff I haven't talked about, because this is getting FAR TOO detailed for a spotify playlist that I made but whatever...this is a serious sport to me

(will link the other two some other time)

IVY HIIIIIIIII!!!! I let this sit in my inbox for a while because I didn't really wanna say goodbye to it, but it's raining here now and I'm listening to the playlist and going through my genetics notes AND WHAT BETTER TIME TO ANSWER THIS ASK?!?!?!?! I don't know how you managed to capture the sound from my head, but here we are!!! This is exactly what I imagined :"))) (was sooo fun to see Eleanor Rigby & Nowhere Man on the list because I have those albums on vinyl so whenever they come up on the playlist I request assistance from my record player :") Fun fact about Berlin!!!!! It was originally featured on Reed's debut album (the version you included!!!!!) but he eventually decided to just... make an entire album that's inspired by it AND named after it (which I have on vinyl as well, as of recent :") AND he had Berlin (The Song) come back as the first track on the album which is... well.... that's... very Cassandra Theory to me... (especially 'cause the album functions as a book, a common theme with Lou I wanted to put William Burroughs’s Beat-era novels and Ginsberg’s Howl into a rock song Reed) IT'S NOT EVEN THE ONLY SONG HE RESURRECTS ON BERLIN (THE ALBUM), BUT I'LL SHUT UP NOW and end the dad rock (even though this is technically mom rock in my case dhdjdjdkkd) rant with this:

MALIBU!!!! SPACE ODDITY!!!!! BEEN A SON!!!!! SPELLBOUND!!!!!! SUNNY AFTERNOON!!!!! I CAN KEEP GOING!!!!!!

COHEN!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 pink floyd <3 <3 <3 i love a weird old scratchy radio type audio moment <3 <3 <3

A SONG HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT 🧡 CORALINE SOUNDTRACK 🧡

Idk Ivy, I just need those other two playlists asap... and if you have anything more to say on the subject 👀, please do <3

#💌restless wind inside a letter box💌#amy pond unrelated media universe #musician!amy #dw au #all night in your garden (the album)#cassandra blackwood tag #sorry everyone for being weird about that old dead man on main agAiN #💜✨🧡intermission section🧡✨💜#and what if i teared up at the she's lost control mention what then :")

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doomsdayoption · 1 month

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Rhink in this week's EB

I was listening to the latest Ear Biscuits episode (#419) and towards the end when Rhett recs Jeffrey Martin's album Thank God We Left The Garden, Link interjects to point out that he made him listen to one specific song from the album called "Red Station Wagon".

PLEASE READ THE LYRICS TO THIS SONG:

" I can still see that red station wagon on the street by your house We'd walk to rent movies and wander our way across town Out away from your dad you were always so easily found You'd let your hands dance and you'd let yourself laugh out loud Hey I remember That night on the roof of the school when we were talking at stars And you said that you might be afraid of who you really are Your hand touched my hand and retreated in that desperate dark And I called you a faggot and laughed and punched you in the arm I don't believe it I can't believe it now I can't believe how I let you down The church was a boot on your neck since the day you were born They didn't like the way that you talk or how you move in the world How you glide like a leaf on the water all gentle and kind The world wants a man who is hard not hard to define And you feel like a child that the God of all forgot to name

Like he gave you a heart but He did not give you a place Did He breathe into you just to tell you that you are to blame? Did He breathe into you just to tell you that you are to blame? I don't believe it I don't believe it now I don't believe how I let you down Did He breathe into you just to tell you that you are to blame? Did He breathe into you just to tell you that you are to blame? I don't believe it I don't believe it now "

Just sayin'.

(P.S. I'm not implying that they are secretly dating or stuff like that. I just think that the lyrics of this song speak to a part of their relationship.)

#good mythical morning #rhett and link #gmm #link neal #rhett mclaughlin #good mythical more #rhett #tumblr #link #rhink #they are so loud #jeffrey martin #red station wagon #song #music #youtube

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astermagne · 28 days

Text

I wanted to try this x reader Hc thing out

Lucifer + Adam x Reader with sensitive hearing

Lucifer, canon au

- At first, the songs he breaks into are pretty loud , he can’t help it! He gets so excited and loves to go all out. However , the songs usually end in a broken abrupt chord once he sees you wince /in pain

- He tends to forget you have sensitive hearing constantly. He feels so guilty and berates himself mentally for it :<

- However, he does try to make up for it by buying you only the BEST noise canceling headphones,those very nice comfy ones that don’t hurt your ear. He’ll either buy it for you or make his own! But he’s definitely not buying it from VoxTech.

- It’s honestly a bumpy relationship , so you’ve both decided to keep it platonic, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Lucifer, vampire au

- He’s much more quiet toned in this au. You actually love to hear him talk, whether it’s by how he talks, or part of his vampire’s charm. A prince of the night,things are quiet around his place. As long as you don’t venture into the dungeons-

- He only yells when he’s in an argument with his family, which by that point he makes sure you're safely away. Who knows when a powerful fight will break out, and he doesn’t want you to be a casualty from the collateral damage.

- His place is honestly really nice?? The days are very quiet since almost everyone is asleep, aside from the day servants who do their work. But they don’t bother you.

- The night comes alive in candlelight all over the place. Soft music reverbs in the air from the ballroom a couple stories below. You enjoy it from your room , or out in one of the big gardens. In some areas it’s so muffled you can actually fall asleep to it .

- Sadly earplugs and headphones weren’t a thing back then, so you don’t have fancy noise canceling technology. However, you do have a very powerful vampire who could or could not put a spell or so over your room . But then again, it’s your room, why would you need it? It’s not loud. But could he do it? It’s a possibility .

- You do have a headband you wear, should you choose to go out in the market or whatnot. It’s a little tight and has padding , so it does help to block out a little of the crowd and bustling noises . You can easily hide it under your hat /whatever headwear you have on.

- Honestly this life is so nice and peaceful. Aside from all the fighting and wars those vampires have going on, but you’re pretty protected from it so it’s sort of fine

Adam, canon au

- “What”

- “Ohhhh”

- Oh he is r e a d y. Earplugs, headphones, helmets that cancel out a lot of noise, he’s got you covered.

- He thinks nothing of it, he gets it. He’s got you 👌🏻

- That helmet of his can do a lot of things, one such being he can turn down his own volume, and makes it so it’ll do so via facial recognition .

- “So , because you’re wearing headphones all the time, here’s my new album.” You probably have 40,711 playlists from him alone by now

- “That’s so cool, like,you can hear shit other people can’t, rock on”

- The moment someone bullies you or tries to hurt you by being loud purposefully, Adam will shove them off and deal with them.

- He can play anything and everything, including soft slow notes. He doesn’t mind. I mean hey, you love his music, don’t you? Who cares what he plays as long as he can get your smile and praise!

- During private moments, he absolutely uses mouth sounds, and loves to whisper in your ears. He loves to see you shiver from it.

I will pull up a muse list so you know who you can send in asks for if you want to

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #i write my muses #hazbin adam #lucifer hazbin hotel #x reader #lucifer x reader #adam x reader #hazbin headcanons #vampire au

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lavandulawrites · 3 months

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Hey can I get letters C, I, & O for Poe (bsd)

Yandere Alphabet C, I and O with Edgar Allen Poe

Poe is one of my favourite characters so this was really fun to write<3 I think Poe is one of the “softer” yanderes, but he definitely can be really unsettling. (Yandere alphabet request here)

Masterlist

Word count: 479

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Once Poe abducts you he treats you like a princess. You have your own big bedroom decorated to your tastes. At first it frightened you how everything in you bedroom were exactly how you liked it. He even had gotten his hands on one of your childhood plushies. How he did get his hands on it, you would rather not know. Ignorance is bliss after all. In one of the antique chest of drawers, you found a deep purple leather bound album filled of photos of you. Some were old and some were recent. Underneath each picture Poe had written in his beautiful handwriting, either poems that described the picture or compliments. Poe would never mock you. He wished for you to love him after all. Nights were sadness consumed you, he sat by your bedside comforting you. With his slender hands he stroked away your tears and rubbed your back gently.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Poe wishes for you to love him back. Somewhere in the future he wants to marry you. That had been his dream since he first laid his eyes on you. He can’t wait for when the time is right to go down on one knee and ask if you want to spend eternity with him. Of course saying no is not an option, but he assures you that he would treat you like a queen. His love knows no bounds after all.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

You would not be allowed to leave his manor, but rest assured the beautiful gardens as well as the interior is enough for you to forget about what you call freedom. He lets you play with. Karl as much as you want and his heart warms at the sight of you two together. Poe has a grand library filled with more books than you ever hope to read. He lets you roam freely inside the library, he knows all to well what excitement literature brings so he won’t restrict your access to literature. The same can’t be said about the internet. You are not allowed to keep your phone or other electronics that can be used to contact the outside world. He will however let you use the computer with him by your side if you wish to play some games that are non online. You have free access to the television and his various streaming services. He knows all to well what damage an under stimulated brain can do. He will take you out on different outings. He particularly enjoys taking you to luxurious restaurants and cozy bookstores. He loves to spend his money on you and spoils you rotten. It’s what you deserve after all.

#yandere alphabet #yandere #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere bsd #yandere x reader #yandere poe #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #poe x reader #bungo stray dogs poe #bungo stray dogs #edgar allan poe #x reader

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angelkissiies · 1 year

Note

hcs of poly relationship with abby and ellie please ilysm 🙌🙌

abby anderson x reader x ellie williams headcanons

suggestive content below the cut

╭ thank you anon for the idea, i hope you enjoy !

╰╮the absolute best dance partners, on adult night at the bar they’ll have you in daze from how much they want to be seen with you. twirling you into the others arms until your legs are sore and the entire bar as their eyes on the three of you.

╰╮abby hates cooking but ellie loves it. So most days ellie will take on the responsibility of cooking and abby will happily oblige to every desire she has as long as it’s not having anything to do with the stove. On that topic, neither of them can bake- but you can. So most days in the kitchen are filled with ellie instructing abby on what she needs and the three of you bumping into each other as you tackle different tasks. Hoping from dinner, to dishes, to baking- but you all somehow make it work (with tons of kisses in between traffic jams)

╰╮clothes troubles? always. between massive loads of laundry to abby’s shirts getting snatched by you and ellie alike- there is always a fuss about clothes. Whilst abby doesn’t mind her girls stealing her shirts, it becomes a tad problematic when the only shirts left in the closet are ones that would look like compression T’s on her. Secretly, though she gives the two of you shit, she loves it.

╰╮ellie loves taking photos. It’s something she’s very adamant about, every birthday or anniversary, she has the polaroid camera out snapping multiple pictures to frame or stick into an album. You’d become very fond of it after she’d gone through her collection- showing off every sweet photo she had of the three of you. Including more than a couple of joel and jerry hanging out. (they weren’t aware of their picture being taken, but that made it all the better.)

╰╮you’d never patrol alone again; constantly having the two women at your side to face weather was beyond the wall- not trusting anyone else with the job of protecting you. You could argue and even attempt to sneak out alone, but they somehow always knew and swooped in at the last minute to accompany you.

╰╮joel and jerry become the father figures you never got to have, taking great pride in the fact that their daughters could manage to snag a prize like you (jerry’s words, quote me on it.) they loved you unconditionally and though the idea at first was a little weird to them, once they saw how much love the three of you carried for one another- they knew it was something meant to be.

╰╮so many records. ellie prefers jazz and bluegrass (getting most of her preferences from joel), while abby is a complete opposite listening to 90’s rock and college rock (which had grown to be one of her favorite genres). anytime you all went on a run, you’d pick up all the music you could to bring home and listen to together. It had become a ritual.

╰╮an affinity for children to randomly be running around your shared house. Some days it was yara and lev sitting on the couch chatting about who knows what, others it was half a dozen tiny children running from ellie and dina as they chased them through the house and out into the garden where they’d indulge them with the patch of strawberries that had just started to ripen. It never bothered you, not one bit.

╰╮abby is the big spoon, ellie is the little spoon, and you are the littlest spoon. like a little conga train, you three melted together like this most nights. other times, it was just a massive pile of limbs and sheets tangled into something joel had a-likened to the rat king. He thought he was very funny for that, giving abby a playful nudge as he recalled her horror story.

╰╮kissies galore ! ! neither abby or ellie knew how to not kiss you (or each other) so at the worst moments they’ll press a quick kiss to your lips before moving along to whatever it was they were doing. It always warmed your heart but caught whoever you were with off guard (especially if they didn’t know your situation).

╰╮long, long, long sessions. sex was an all night affair to the three of you, that way you all had a chance to give each other the love you’d set aside for them. luckily for you, abby and ellie learned how to share when it came to you so it was no longer a fight for dominance but a shared experience. give and take. It took them awhile to figure out a way to combine forces but once they did it was game over for you (and your poor legs the next day.)

╰╮constant talk of starting a family. abby and ellie loved the idea of having little mini versions of themselves running around, not to mention how willing you were to carry babies for them if they weren’t comfortable with it. when the baby fever got too bad, the three of you would take a trip to the school to volunteer your time- helping the girls become more comfortable with children before you all made the jump to actually having your own.

#abby anderson x reader x ellie williams #abby anderson x you x ellie williams #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #tlou ff #tlou2 #tlou part 2 #tlou #tlou masterlist #polyamory #abby x ellie #abby anderson x ellie williams #x reader #the last of us part two

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malanasims · 10 months

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Taylor Swift Eras themed Legacy Challenge

i wanted to put together two of my favorite things: the sims and Taylor Swift. so i came up with this 10 generation legacy challenge in which each generation is inspired by a different album. I created this challenge for the sims 2 ultimate collection since that is the game i normally play, but i am sure it can be adapted for sims 3 or sims 4. i also implemented the traits project for ts2 but you can easily do the challenge without it using different personality points. i set up this challenge so that each generation alternates genders but you can switch that up. i also chose first names for each generation based on references of the album. also some of the writing is very cheesy and has a lot of references because why not go crazy. this is my first legacy challenge so if you have any critiques let me know. the rules are not strict and cheats can be used as its a story-based challenge.

Debut- Gen 1: Mary

“Take me home where we met so many years before.

We'll rock our babies on that very front porch: After all this time, you and I”

You grew up in a small town where everyone knew each other. Your parents never had the greatest relationship and your mom was always with her best friend. Since birth you and her kid have been inseparable. Will you fall into the same patterns as your parents…or will you find a place in this world?

family/romance

LTW: reach golden anniversary

nurturing, jealous, loves the outdoors, great kisser, family oriented

marry your first love

have 2 children (at least one son)

formal wear is a little black dress

Fearless- Gen 2: Stephen

“You played in bars, you play guitar

I'm invisible and everyone knows who you are”

Your parents raised you well but something about the fact that they only ever knew each other scares you. You want to get out there and make a name for yourself. You know no ones coming for you on their white horse. You’ll have to be fearless to become a superstar: but for now all you have is your mothers eyes and her old guitar.

fortune/pleasure

virtuoso, charismatic, irresistible, ambitious, non-committal

LTW: become rock god

go on at least 5 first dates

have at least one daughter

date a fan

Speak now- Gen 3: Emma

“When Emma falls apart, it's when she's alone

She takes on the pain and bears it on her own”

You often felt overlooked by your rockstar father. He was always busy and you spent most of your time with your mother until her mysterious disappearance. You feel like you grew up too fast, and now you love to travel back to your youth and fantasize about castles and dragons. So you become an actress; a character. Will you break out of your fathers famously destructive patterns, or will you regain your balance on the tightrope and break out before fire can catch you?

popularity/romance

LTW: Become Icon

natural born performer, childish, bookworm, shy, hopeless romantic

your first love doesn't work out/ you break their heart

have at least one son

have a strained relationship with your father but a good relationship with your mother

meet your true love at a party and then never see eachother again

Red- Gen 4: Bobby

“How you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out

They say you bought a bunch of land somewhere

Chose the rose garden over Madison Square”

You grew up in the starlight of your mothers fame. You two were always close but after suffering from the tabloids and the camera flashes you decide this life is not for you. You move out of the Angel City and start anew. Your mother has given you some funds and you build up a family home. You tell everyone you left because the city wasn’t right for you… but maybe it was partly to run from your playboy/girl ex who you know was trouble. Now you spend your life painting and searching for your muse. Will you stay paralyzed by time or finally begin again?

Knowledge/family

LTW: become visionary

artistic, eco friendly, night owl, loves the cold, loner

Have an on and off toxic relationship

Move out of your parents house

Settle down with someone nice

Have 3 children (at least one girl)

1989- Gen 5: Love

“You searched the world for somethin' else

To make you feel like what we had

And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad”

You grew up secluded from the world, surrounded by your mothers paintings. Your mom loved the environment but you couldn’t wait to get out of the woods and explore new places. Somewhere along the road, you fell into a rabbit hole of insanity: mascara running in the bathroom and rose gardens filled with thorns. You blow money and string lovers along. You have fantastic delusions until your wildest dreams turn into nightmares. Will you accept the help from your family and abandon your affinity for screaming, crying and perfect storms? Or will every day continue to be a battle?

knowledge/pleasure

LTW: Become space pirate

Insane, unstable, diva, adventurous, jealous

Join the adventurer career

Have 3 loves at once

Have children with multiple people (one must be boy/girl twins)

Lose money in poker

Reputation- Gen 6: Burton (the name is so bad help)

“I don't like your kingdom keys

They once belonged to me

You asked me for a place to sleep

Locked me out and threw a feast”

Yeah, your mother may have done a number on you, but who's counting? Maybe your twin sister… Everything you did, she just had to do better. In the wake of your mother’s madness, you turned to dancing. You found peace in swaying as the room burnt down. Your twin sister on the other hand hated how you were lit up every room you walked into, but you couldn’t help it. There's nothing she hates more than what she can't have… so she turned to sabotage. Just when you think that your life is perfect- you're at the top of your career and you finally found love- your sister starts a rumor that you cheated on your love. Your reputation as a famous dancer goes down in seconds. But to your surprise, your lover isn't reading what they call you lately and your relationship is stronger than ever. Will you get revenge on your sister and become exactly what you despise, or sit back and let karma take over?

Popularity/romance

LTW: Become world class ballerina

Party animal, irresistible, social butterfly, hot headed, unlucky

Be enemies with your twin sister

Never be unfaithful

Have a bad reputation

Have at least one daughter

Lover- Gen 7: Cornelia

“I’d be a fearless leader, I'd be an alpha type

When everyone believes ya, what's that like?”

You've always known you wanted to change the world. Who cares if you were overlooked and discouraged. Snakes and stones won’t break your bones. You never had a big family as your father walked away from his. Sometimes it gets lonely trusting the wicked, and your loyalty was often a fault. You turn to politics to combat your feelings of helplessness, but no one takes you seriously and you feel lost in the light. You have to start from the ground up with the help of your best friend. You start to build your picture-perfect life: the kids, the lyrical smiles and the power. Will you drive away your lover by searching for their dark side, or will you put aside your ways and find the daylight?

Popularity/family

LTW: Become mayor

Good, easily impressed, brave, unlucky, perfectionist

Fall in love with your best friend

Have 10 best friends

Have children (at least one son)

Folklore- Gen 8: James

“I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back

I have a lot of regrets about that”

You grew up trying to meet the expectations of your politician mother. Everything had to be picture perfect, even your private life. So she set you up with the daughter of one of the most powerful families in town, Betty. At first you are skeptical, but over time you fall for her integrity and affinity for old cardigans. Along the way you begin to feel stuck, tired of the sensual politics and your mother’s watchful eye. That's when you meet August -the polar opposite of Betty- and some part of you has to know what she is like. You meet in parking lots and dive bars, but after Betty finds out, you realize that summer is dwindling. In wake of losing two girls, you turn to writing: poetry and sad prose. You get lost in your stories, but once you start to gain traction, you can’t help but wonder how different your life could have been. Will you rekindle your wild flame with August or go back to the peace you felt with Betty?

knowledge/ romance

LTW: Publish 5,000$ best seller*

Great kisser, coward, bookworm, brooding, commitment issues

Fall in love with Betty

Fall in love with August

Confess to cheating on Betty

Write novels

Move into a cottage by a lake

Finally choose the one girl

Have at least one daughter with her

Evermore- Gen 9: Ivy

“And the skeletons in both our closets

Plotted hard to fuck this up

And the old men that I’ve swindled

Really did believe I was the one”

You always resented your father because he abandoned the good life for a cottage in the woods and his stories. You don’t want that; you want power and wealth. You don't need love, just a fancy car. So you turn to crime, because it’s easy for you; you love the gold rush. You con men and no one will ever prove it. You marry rich men and inherit their money when their time runs out. But then one day you meet your match, a fellow criminal, and wonder if this life will really bring you happiness. But you realized this a little too late, and now you're forced to drink your husband's wine… but he was the wrong guy. Will you leave the life of crime behind or will you stay frozen in time?

Fortune/pleasure

LTW: Gold digger

Kleptomaniac, genius, charismatic, mean-spirited, rebellious

Go into the criminal career

Marry a rich sim

Fall in love with a criminal and have an affair

Have a son

Midnights- Gen 10: Snow

“And I don't dress for villains

Or for innocents

I'm on my vigilante shit again”

You knew your mom wasn’t the most ethically-correct person. You like to think you inherited her better half; but that isn’t entirely true. You are determined to be different, so you become a spy; you get the satisfaction of working for the good guys and the pleasure that comes with great wars. Being a spy is difficult though, and you never know when things could go wrong. You are constantly burning files and deserting old lives. But you’re a mastermind, nobody can deny that. You finally meet your perfect person, but it's hard concealing your true occupation from them. You have money and respect… But can all of that pay for someone to just know you?

Fortune/knowledge

LTW: Become head of the SCIA

Perceptive, disciplined, loner, proper, daredevil

Join the intelligence career

Move homes at least twice

The rest is up to you since it is the last generation

*50 new LTW mod can be found here

if anyone decides to do this challenge tag me! i'd love to see it

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therealcocoshady · 3 months

Text

Recovery - Chapter 9

Eminem x FemReader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : After relapsing, Y/N wakes up next to Marshall. She confronts Cassie and has an anxiety attack.

Tags : Angst, Comfort

CW : Bullying, Alcohol, Drugs, Relapse, Anxiety attack, Mention of masturbation

When you woke up, you were feeling groggy and nauseous. You groaned at the memory from last night. You felt some stirring beside you. It was Marshall, laying next to you on top of the covers.

Hey, he said in a raspy voice. How are you feeling ? Better ?

Mmmmh, you moaned.

He groaned and yawned.

How about we try some words ? He asked. How are you feeling, Y/N ?

Ashamed, you mumbled.

Shocker.

You stared at him as he rubbed his eyes. You couldn’t help but think that he looked perfect, even in the morning. He was pretty damn sexy, only wearing gray sweatpants with no shirt on. He scratched his beard before looking at you.

Did you sleep here ? You asked.

No, I slept in the garden but decided to come back here before you woke up, he said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. Yes I slept here. I wanted to make sure you were alright.

Thanks, you said. You could have slept in your bedroom, you know ? Instead of here with me.

And risk finding you dead in a puddle of your own barf ? Nope, he groaned. I don’t feel like having forensics in the house on a Sunday morning. The press would have a field day, though.

Oh my God, the press…, you murmured as you remembered the flashing camera from last night.

I called Paul after you fell asleep, he said. He’s going to try and get the picture deleted. He gave me so much shit about it.

I’m sorry, you whispered as you took your face in your hands.

You were embarrassed. There was so much that you needed to apologize for.

It’s fine, he shrugged. It’s Paul anyway. He gives me shit all the time. That’s kind of his job, you know ?

I’m so sorry I ruined your night…

You didn’t, he said in a softer voice. I mean, I could have done without the worry, for sure, but my night pretty much sucked anyway.

Why ? You asked.

I hate that kind of events, he shrugged. I was there because the Lions PR Team wanted me to do some promo shit. I was supposed to meet someone there to talk about that but I ended up swarmed by drunk people bugging me about the album. And then, I had to take some ho to my place, he chuckled.

God, I am so embarrassed, you whined.

About what part exactly ? He grinned.

All of it ? You said. I mean, you had to help my grown-ass to undress and shower and you held my hair while I threw up. That’s pretty damn embarrassing.

He chuckled and looked at you.

Yup, he simply said.

I’d say the outfit and kissing people was pretty embarrassing, too. And… Oh my God I danced, too, you whined.

Oh yeah. That was some dancing, he grinned.

Just kill me, please, you whined.

He let out a laugh as you buried your face in your hands. Suddenly, the idea of digging a hole and dying there was quite appealing.

It’s fine, he said with a chuckle. I mean, you got some good moves. Didn’t expect you to, to be honest.

Yeah, I don’t know about that…

It wasn’t that bad, I promise. You put on quite a show on the dance floor.

God, I made a fool of myself, you sighed.

I don’t think you did, he said earnestly. Everyone there was doing the same thing anyway… But yeah, that was a bit foolish. I mean, it’s just not you, Y/N.

You nodded softly.

I don’t deserve you being so nice to me, you sighed.

Me being an ass to you wouldn’t help matters, he shrugged. Besides, you already know what you did wrong. You’re a grown woman.

I thought you were going to kill me, back there, you whispered.

Dramatic, much ? He chuckled. I mean, yeah, I wasn’t really pleased with you. I was mostly worried, though…

Mmmh.

I thought you were doing good, you know ? He explained. You were sober for, what… Four months ?

Yeah, going on five, you said with a hint of sadness. And now I threw it all away…

Slipping… it happens, he said. What matters is that you’re able to dust yourself off and try again.

Easy for you to say, you mumbled. You’ve been sober for fifteen years.

He scoffed and shook his head.

You’re not the only person it happens to, you know ? He sighed. I’ve tried to quit a few times before I managed to stop for good. I’ve slipped-up and relapsed a few times. Even after rehab.

You did ? You asked.

Yeah. So I’ve been there and I know how you feel. I just wish I would have known you were struggling, he said.

I wasn’t struggling, you said. I mean… There were times lately, when I missed drinking, but that’s about it. I think that… I have been feeling a bit lonely, mostly.

You didn’t tell me that, he pointed out.

Does it matter ?

Of course it does, he said softly. You matter.

You let out a small “aw” and blushed. He sat up and stroked your shoulder.

So, what happened last night that led you to this ? Walk me through it, ok ?

You sighed and proceeded to tell him everything. How happy you were to see Cassie, how generous and kind she was to you and how much you didn’t want to disappoint her or let her down. How her calling you a dud made you want to gain her approval so badly. You also mentioned that, regardless of the fact that you had messed up, you looked up to her and you wished you could be more like her but only seemed to get as sociable when you were under the influence.

This girl is a bully, he scoffed.

No she’s not, you replied.

That’s high school mean girl 101, Y/N, he said. You do realize she used you as a prop, right ? She played with you like a doll, she dressed you up in that skimpy outfit, ignored you when she wanted to flirt with people and used you to arouse men, either by kissing you or suggesting threesomes…

Well, if you put it like that, it does make her look pretty bad, you mumbled. But she’s my friend !

She's not, he groaned. Talia is your friend. Jamal is your friend. I am your friend. This girl ? Nope.

You sighed. Maybe he was right on some level, but you didn’t want to hear it. After all, Cassie had been there for you numerous times.

Well, I have to see her today, you said. I still have stuff in her hotel room.

I’ll take you, he offered. But first, we should discuss what you’re going to do.

That’s fair. What am I going to do ?

First, you’re going to tell Talia and Jamal as soon as I take you home. They’re your roommates and they deserve to know that kind of thing. Lying about it would be a shitty idea anyway, he said.

Talia’s going to kill me, you said.

She’s not, he said softly. Then, first thing tomorrow, you’re going to a meeting and calling your sponsor.

Meetings are on wednesday, you said.

I’ll get you an appointment with a therapist, then. You need to see someone. The earlier the better. If today wasn’t Sunday, you’d be there already.

You nodded, but tears were welling in your eyes.

I can’t do it, you said as you choked on your words. Marshall, I just… I can’t. I can’t face people and tell them I fucked up.

Hey, he said softly as he took your hand in his. Yes you can, and you will. Shit happens. Do you remember what I said when I took you to the observatory ?

That I’m not alone ?

Exactly. Your road to recovery doesn’t have to be a lonely one, he reminded you as he stroked your cheek. I got you. So do Talia and Jamal. The others at the studio too. They love you.

They do ? You asked.

Yeah. Everyone thinks you’re great. They keep going on about how cute you are. Especially when you fall asleep on the couch, he chuckled.

Thank you, you whispered as you let your head roll on his shoulder. I love them too, you know ?

He kissed the top of your head and decided to get up.

Get up, Dobby, I’ll make you breakfast, he said.

Are you really going to call me that ? You groaned before letting out a yawn.

Yep, he said with a smile. You were right, you do look like a house elf in my tee-shirt.

I wouldn’t have pegged you as a Harry Potter fan, you said with a grin.

My youngest was obsessed with the movies and books for a while, he chuckled. She’d be so proud of me right now. Anyway, breakfast in ten minutes, ok ?

You nodded and took some time to stretch as he walked towards the door.

Oh, and, Dobby ? You’re much hotter in my clothes than in last night’s dress, he added with a wink.

He left the room and you were speechless. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks.

Have you seen my phone ? You asked Marshall when you walked in the kitchen to the smell of pancakes.

No idea about your phone, but your purse is on the table, he said.

You grabbed your phone, that was inside your handbag and checked your phone. You had about fifty notifications. Had you been sleeping that long ? Had the world ended without you knowing ? Was someone dead ?

From : Unknown. “Hey. It’s Jared. Loved meeting you tonight. When are you free for dinner ?”

From : Talia. “Is that really you in the picture with Em ???”

From : Talia. “Hand holding and stuff ?!?! What is happening ??? I thought you were with Cassie ???”

From : Talia. “CALL. ME. BACK. I need to knoooooow !!!”

From : Talia. “If you call me back I promise I will let the questionable outfit slide. We need to talk about your fashion sense tho…”

From : Talia. “I know the two of you are probably busy right now, but call me back when you can ??? I hope he is ravishing the shit out of you right now :)”

From : Unknown. “I just saw the pictures online. I didn’t realize you were with Em ! Sorry I suggested that date. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful at all…!”

It didn’t take too long to figure out the photos had been published. You quickly went online and saw a bunch of headlines. You also received messages from people you hadn’t seen in a long time. It was as if, suddenly, they remembered you. You knew it was no coincidence.You clicked on an article titled “Eminem in love ?!”.

“Eminem is known to be somewhat of a recluse and very private about his personal life, but he was spotted leaving a fancy fundraising event in Detroit yesterday night, holding hands with an unknown woman. No smile on his face, as usual, but his jacket on her shoulder and the hand-holding says it all ! The rapper was reportedly holding her tightly and keeping her close when they exited the party and hopped in a car, accompanied by his bodyguards. The news has fans in a frenzy and desperate for details. We do not know the name of the woman, who wore a stunning Sandro dress and Jimmy Choo accessories (no doubt gifted by her wealthy beau). It is the first time the Rap God was spotted with a woman since his divorce from ex-wife Kim, with whom he shares three children.”

Fuck, you mumbled under your breath.

What’s wrong ? He asked as he placed a plate in front of you.

You gave him your phone. He took a minute to read the article and groaned.

Guess Paul was too late, he mumbled. I’m sorry about that, Y/N.

I’m sorry, you said sheepishly.

I don’t care, he said. I mean, I’m used to dating rumors, you know ? It just sucks for you…

Well… My phone is buzzing with people congratulating me, you giggled. And at least I don’t look wasted on the pics. Although I think it just cost me a date.

What date ? He asked suspiciously.

A guy named Jared asked me out yesterday, you explained. He’s a football player.

Jared Goff ? The Lions quarterback ?!

Yeah, him. Anyway, he just texted and apologized for asking me on a date and hitting on me, you said.

Sorry for accidentally cockblocking you, he chuckled.

Maybe that’s karma ? You said with a shy smile. Anyway, I don’t think I would have said yes. I wasn’t really myself last night, after all. Poor guy would have been disappointed

He chuckled and you ate breakfast.

You know, maybe it’s for the best, he commented between bites. Maybe you should hold back on the dating thing. You’re going to have to focus on recovery anyway.

I guess, you groaned. That’s unfair though.

How so ? He asked.

I can’t get drunk, I can’t take pills, I can’t even smoke a fucking cigarette and now I can’t get laid ?! You blurted out.

You could tell he wasn’t expecting that statement, as he almost spilled his orange juice.

Classy, he grinned.

I’m serious, though, you pouted. I’m feeling lonely. I want affection. I want hugs…

He smiled as he put an arm around your shoulders.

That’s easily remedied, he said softly.

… and I want sex,you continued.

Aaaand we’re done, he chuckled as he let go of you.

How did you do it ? You asked. How did you manage to stay abstinent ? Also, when did you start dating again ?

You’re 27, for God’s sake, do I really have to explain to you how masturbation works, Y/N ? He groaned as your face reddened.

But it’s not the same, though, you said. I want contact, I want intimacy. Maybe I should get a friend with benefits…

Right, he chortled. Good luck with that.

You don’t think I could get one ?! You asked in an offended tone.

Oh, believe me, after the show you put on last night, I know you could get absolutely anyone, he chuckled. But a lot of people seem to think you are spoken for, now. By yours truly, no less.

Until you put out a statement, that is, you replied.

Yeah, I’m not doing that.

What ?! You asked in disbelief.

A statement will get people talking. Saying nothing and waiting for the thing to die out is probably the best option, he explained. Besides, I wouldn’t be offended if people thought I was with you. I don’t really mind, to be honest.

So, you’re not worried that it would cockblock you ?

Nope. If anything, people might be leaving me alone on the subject for a while. I’m not really into dating anyway, he shrugged.

Are you some sort of asexual hermit monk ? you asked teasingly.

I think we’ve established that I’m not, he said with a smirk. Unlike some people, though, I know how to keep it in my pants.

Oh, I can keep it in my pants, you said as you rolled your eyes. I just don’t really want to.

Right, he chortled.

Anyway, do you know if Porter is seeing anyone ?

He froze as you asked the question and dropped the glass he had in hand, causing it to shatter on the floor.

Shit, he groaned. You’re not serious right ?!

Relax, I’m joking, you giggled. You should see your face, though. It’s hilarious.

You’re impossible, he said, rolling his eyes.

You chuckled and helped him clear the glass pieces on the floor.

Anyway, I get how you’re feeling. But just be careful, ok ? You need to be safe and healthy. That should come first. Not your sexual urges. To answer your question, I didn’t date for a couple of years after getting sober. I just focused on my family and music. Also, I have found that exercising really gets your mind off… You know, he said with a grin.

I’ll keep that in mind, you chuckled.

And if you need hugs, I’m here, he said with a smile. Just hugs though.

You giggled and gave him a peck on the cheek.

Thanks for being so amazing, you said. Thank you for being here.

Anything for you, Dobby, he chuckled.

Anything ? you smirked. Really ?

Oh, man… Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this ? He sighed with a grin.

Well, I do look amazing in that Saint Laurent jacket…, you began. I mean, the pictures in the article prove it.

Not happening, nope, he said as he shook his head.

Can’t blame a girl for trying, you giggled. Your closet is full of great pieces.

I’ll tell you what, he said with a smile, if you’re good and put in some work towards your recovery, I might let you borrow some stuff.

Really ? You squealed. Even the jacket ?

Yeah. Even the jacket. For every sobriety milestone, you get to borrow a thing for my closet. Except for my sneakers and a few pieces of jewelry. The rest is fair game, he said.

I’m going to crush recovery, you said cockily.

Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dobby, he chuckled. You need to stick to therapy, go to meetings, and mostly, you have to call me or anyone else before you fuck up. Not after. Understood ?

Yes, sir, you giggled. Totally unrelated, but is 10 hours sober a milestone ?

Go and take a shower and get dressed, he said as he shook his head. I think I have the clothes you left here last time around there somewhere. Then, I’ll take you to the hotel, ok ?

An hour later, you knocked at the door of Cassie’s hotel room. Marshall was waiting for you in the parking lot. He offered to go up with you, but you figured that you needed to have a talk with your friend, one on one. As much as you didn’t want to believe what Marshall was telling you about her using you, you wanted things to be clear.

Hey chérie, she said with a smile as she opened the door and let you into the suite. Last night was sooo fun. I do have a bit of a hangover, though.

Oh yeah ? You asked awkwardly.

A guy I met took me to an afterparty, she explained. I ended up coming back here in the morning with a couple of people. They just left.

Oh, did you…?

Yes, we fucked, she giggled.

Speaking of which… Can I talk to you ?

Of course, she shrugged.

You sat on the couch and your anxiety levels started to rise. You didn’t quite know where to begin.

What, you mean to tell me that you got laid by Eminem last night ? she chuckled.

W-What ?! No, absolutely not, you said.

Relax, she said. I saw the pictures online, but I figured nothing happened. If that’s any comfort, I don’t think anyone is going to believe it anyway. No offense but… You couldn’t get someone like that.

You furrowed your eyebrows. Was your friend seriously implying that you weren’t good enough for Marshall ?! You sort of knew that already, but it stung.

What do you mean by that, Cass ?

What ? Just the truth, Baby, she shrugged. Men like that, they like beautiful, interesting girls. Not that you don’t look good, but… You’re sort of plain, you know ? You see what I mean, don’t you ?

I don’t, you said.

Whatever, she said. I just think you’re not the type to hang out with someone like that. Even as a friend, you know ? I didn’t mean to hurt you. You know that. I’m just being honest here. I’m your friend.

Is that why you basically dragged me into a threesome with him ? Because we’re friends ?

Oh God, you really haven’t changed, have you ? she asked with a laugh.

You bit your lip.

Seriously, you were always so sensitive, Ms Goody Two Shoes. I flirted, it was a joke, alright ? We had kissed earlier because you were being initiating. You’re the one who told me you were horny, remember ? I don’t see what the big deal is. Nothing happened. Even if it did… You would have had a great experience, she said as she rolled her eyes.

I wasn’t initiating, you muttered.

You said you were horny, she pointed out.

Only because of the stuff you gave me, you squealed.

I gave you this because I knew you wouldn’t have a great time otherwise, Y/N. And guess what ? You had a great time. You danced, you flirted…You were finally acting normal.

I was drunk.

What’s the big deal ? She sighed. It happens to everyone. You were drunk, so what ? No one died.

I just… What I mean to say is… I don’t feel comfortable with what happened last night. It doesn’t sit well with me. It’s not who I am, you know ? You tried to explain, while keeping your composure.

Maybe you should ask yourself the right questions, Y/N, she scoffed.

Meaning ?

Is this really who you want to be ? A 27 year-old dork who is still in school, single, living with two roommates, with a sad social life ? You could do so much better with your life.

In this instant, she managed to break your heart. Recovery and yesterday’s fuck-up aside, you were pretty proud of who you were. Granted, you didn’t have a lot of friends, a boyfriend or a glamorous job. You weren’t a homeowner either. But you always thought you were doing pretty well, especially considering the hand you had been dealt.

Is it what you think ? You asked as your voice broke. That I’m not good enough ?

I didn’t say that, she defended herself.

I thought you were my friend, you muttered.

I am your friend, Y/N. I want you to thrive, she shrugged. You should be thanking me. Honestly, do you have a lot of people in your life who want the best for you ?

I do, you said, feeling extremely defensive. I have Talia and Jamal, I have Marshall…

For how long though ? she asked.

What do you mean ?

I’m just thinking that, if you weren’t such a dud, maybe you’d have more people around you, you know ? You’d have more friends. People you meet would stick around. You’d have a boyfriend. Hell, maybe Simon wouldn’t have left you.

You swallowed dryly and got up. You decided this was your cue to leave.

I can’t take this anymore. Goodbye, Cassie, you said as you grabbed your things before exiting the room.

Y/N, wait…

Tears were streaming down your cheeks when you got to the parking lot. As he saw you come, Marshall immediately got out of the car and engulfed you in a hug.

What’s wrong? He asked.

I’m fine, you lied with a breaking voice.

Bullshit, he sighed. You’re crying. What happened ?

You didn’t talk. Instead, you simply looked in his eyes. As you stared at him, you were reminded of Cassie’s words. “For how long ?”. Suddenly, something hit you and you felt scared. You realized that you were playing a dangerous game. In a matter of months, he had become a constant in your life. Most of the time, not a week went by without you seeing him at least twice. You texted all the time, whether it was to talk about your day or simply to exchange silly jokes. He was always there for you but, as thankful as you were, you were scared of the day he wouldn’t be around anymore. It would come eventually. Maybe Cassie was right. Maybe there was something about you that made people want to leave. And, let’s face it, she was definitely onto something when she said that girls like you usually aren’t interesting enough for people like him. He walked into your life unexpectedly, but you feared the moment he would walk out. He kept on gazing at you, waiting for you to talk, but you couldn’t.

Talk to me, he said softly.

I have to go, you whispered.

Go where ? I don’t understand, Y/N.

You took a step back and muttered an apology before starting to walk out of the parking lot. At that moment, nothing made sense anymore. You realized that maybe you had been wrong all along. Maybe you were in fact a 27 year-old failure. If so, why bother people ? They would be better off without you, right ? Hell, it wasn’t just about Marshall. It was about all your friends. Maybe you should do them a favor and leave them be.

You were still wearing your heels from last night, as you obviously didn’t have any spare pair of shoes at Marshall’s place and had not taken the time to change since retrieving your stuff from the hotel room. Your feet hurt but you kept on walking.

Y/N, Marshall called as he followed you.

Please leave me alone, you said.

I’m not leaving you alone when you’re crying and just had a slipping episode, he said as he grabbed your arm. Just come with me, ok ? We’ll talk.

Get away from me !!!! You yelled as you pushed him.

He looked at you, taken aback. It was the first time you yelled at him and you could tell he was not expecting it. His eyes were full of questions. But what exactly could you say that would actually make sense ?

I’m sorry, you whispered. I just… I have to…

You were panting and slurring your words. It was all too much. The only thing you wanted was to get out of here, but as seconds went by, it was clear that your body would not cooperate. You felt a pain in your chest and your heart was pounding. Despite your attempt to move, you were unable to. To make things worse, your eyes were wide open but you couldn’t quite see. It was all a blur. You were feeling trapped. You were on the floor, your hand on your chest.

Y/N, Marshall said in a soft yet alarmed voice. You need to breathe, ok ?

I… C-can’t, you stuttered.

Yes, you can, he reassured you. I’ll help you. I’m going to touch your hand. Is that alright ?

You tried to nod, to the best of your ability, but your body felt so stiff that you weren’t sure if Marshall could see your reaction or not. Regardless, he got closer and gently took your hand in his before placing it on his chest. You could feel his heartbeat.

Now, you’re going to try and inhale through your nose and take in as much air as you can, ok ? Can you do that for me ?

I…

Don’t speak for now. Just inhale. As deep as you can, he directed. And then, exhale slowly.

Your first tentative attempt to breathe deeply was a complete failure. You thought you were going to end up choking. Yet, after a while, you managed to breathe a bit more normally, slowly. Your hand was against Marshall’s chest, his own breath guiding yours. One of his hands was on your back, gently holding you.

That’s it. You’re doing so good, Y/N, he encouraged you.

Mar…, you began.

Shhh. Just keep breathing for now, ok ?

As minutes went by, you were shivering, but thankfully, you were breathing properly.

You’re safe, he said gently. It may not feel like this right now, but I promise. I got you.

You closed your eyes as he wiped the tears from your cheeks. You stayed like this for a while, unable to tell if it was seconds or hours. Eventually, you came back to your senses.

Do you feel better ? He asked.

Yes, you whispered. I’m so sorry.

What the hell are you apologizing for ? He chuckled. Having a panic attack ? Yeah, you better apologize for things that are out of your control…

You let out a small, exhausted laugh. He kissed the top of your head and you went back to the car. Your body was stiff and tense.

Let’s get you home now, he said gently as he started driving. You need some rest.

Can we… not ? You asked anxiously.

What’s wrong, Y/N ? He asked.

I don’t know, you replied. I just…

If you’d had any tears left, you would have cried. Instead, you just choked on your words. You took a breath and tried to speak more clearly.

I don’t want to face them, you explained. Especially Talia. I can’t disappoint her like this, you know ?

They’re your friends, he said. Sure, once you come clean about what happened and the fact that you used again, they won’t be too pleased. But you’ll be fine. Because they love you and they care about you.

For how long, though ? You blurted out.

What ?

They would be better off without me. Everyone would be better off without me, you said. I’m a failure. I stall people. Who wants that ?

You’re only saying that because you slipped and you’re tired, he replied as he shook his head. Is that what your friend told you ? Of all people, I don’t think she is the one you should listen to.

No, I figured that myself, you said. But as much as I am mad at Cassie right now… She got a few things right.

Oh yeah ? About what ? He scoffed.

I’m a failure, you simply said.

That’s not true.

No, Marshall, you don’t understand ! She said I'm a 27 year-old dork who is still in school, single, living with two roommates with a sad social life. That is absolutely true. She also said that… It doesn’t make sense why someone like you would hang out with… someone like me. She’s not wrong about that either.

He shook his head and scoffed.

I hang out with you because I like you, Y/N, he said. And because of everything else she said.

What do you mean ? You asked with a confused look.

Let’s dissect, ok ? You’re 27. That’s a fact. I don’t have to have an opinion about it. Same goes for the single thing. As for the rest… I think it’s great that you are still in school. It shows that you are driven and that you are full of ambition. You’re getting a fucking PhD, for God’s sake. Not a lot of people can do that, you know ? You’re the smartest person I know. Most of the time, when you talk about your work, I don’t understand a word of what you’re saying. But I see how passionate you are, and it’s fucking inspiring. And you are a dork. But it’s fucking great. I love that about you. I think that’s the cutest and funniest thing ever. I’m a dork too. There’s nothing wrong with that. And you do have friends. You have us. You have me. You might not be the most sociable person I know. That’s true. But that’s fine. I like that you’re not the loud type anyway. And it’s cool that you live with Talia and Jamal. I’d even go so far as to say that I like it, because otherwise… I wouldn’t have met you, you know what I’m saying ?

You stared at him and nodded.

Don’t let her get into your head, he continued. You’re absolutely amazing. There isn’t a thing I would change about you. Meeting you is the greatest thing that’s happened to me in the past year. You’re a ray of sunshine. Every time you walk in the studio, you make everyone’s day better, just by being you. You make those silly jokes, you put up with us and, most importantly, you get us. You’re not one of those groupies who think of us as stereotypes. Especially me. You’re so genuine, it’s refreshing. So don’t let anyone change that. You are exceptional. You are brave, strong, and beautiful, inside and out.

You couldn’t help but think it was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever told you. Sure, you’d received compliments before, but never to this extent. Hell, none of the people you had dated had never made such a declaration. You could tell by the look on his face that he meant every word he had just said.

I’m scared to lose my friends, you finally said in an emotional voice. Especially you.

You’re not losing anyone, Y/N. Especially me, he chuckled as he brushed your face with his hand. Don’t you worry about that. You’re pretty much stuck with me.

You giggled softly before curling on the car seat and watching him for the rest of the drive. You felt comforted, grounded by his presence. It was a good thing, too, because you weren’t too sure how the conversation with Talia and Jamal would turn out.

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