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kellinrk800 · 3 years

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toko fukawa comphet no i don’t take criticism

nobody will even see this because my account just. doesnt get traction but here have a ramble abt toko’s backstory and how much i firmly believe her attraction was comphet.

spoilers for thh, sdr2 and udg

tw// ab/se, n/glect, severe bullying

toko was severely neglected and unwanted when she was a child. she grew up with two mothers and one father due to both sleeping with the same man and neither wanting their child which caused her to be mistreated. once she was locked in a closet and forced to stay there for three days without food. clearly, she grew up in a household completely devoid of healthy love. genocide jack’s development was likely a response to cope with the traumatic experiences.

her time in elementary was no different. in third grade, she was used as a scapegoat for stolen money and her classmates tied her to the jungle gym with a garden hose as punishment.

her first real “love” was with a boy who she had been friends with since elementary but when she finally confessed through a letter, she found it pinned to the bulletin board to mock her. this was genocide jack’s first kill, leading me to believe that her murders were actually a form of protection.

on one occasion (and most likely more considering her difficult relationship with understanding rejection) she was ghosted halfway through on a date after spending three days and nights planning it so that she would not mess it up. she later found out that the boy only asked her out because he lost a bet.

the most likely only healthy representation of love she ever has was through media, which is arguably extremely heteronormativity and the actual healthiness of how relationships are presented in media is debatable.

she internalised all of these things happening to her and believed she deserved them somehow, building her inferiority complex. she began to assume that people only expected bad of her and self victimises herself almost on instinct despite her nature to express opinions without care for others most of the time. her self esteem is extremely low and she often worries about being considered an “old hag” in ultra despair girls.

toko fell in love with the idea of love, not an actual person. at some point she turned to novels and writing as a way to express her emotions and she used that passion to create works of art through her novels and created a toxic idolisation of the perfect relationship with nothing but media, her family’s relationships and her past experiences to go off.

she began to let herself get hurt and internalise it which ended up building her inferiority complex even further to the point of becoming unhealthily infatuated with anyone she saw fit as a stand in for the dreamy perfect people that made her books succeed.

time and time again genocide jack and toko were mistreated in their relationships, causing their system to suffer greatly. jack began to kill anyone toko saw fit as a perfect romantic interest to protect them both, but this most likely caused her own mental health to decline as well, leading to the aggressive, startling and manic personality we saw in the games.

toko began to both idolise and fear falling in love. while she knew they would most likely be killed and she would have to cope with knowing that the police could come knocking any day if they put the pieces together, she also still purposed her life around being in a perfect relationship because it was now causing her to gain traction through her novels.

this only furthered her unhealthy infatuation with relationships. she became determined to find a man who fit her description of the perfect man and would not mislead, use, mock or hurt toko in hopes that he would not be killed and she would finally achieve her dream.

enter byakuya togami. blonde, blue eyed, rich, cold and most importantly, entirely unattainable. he was an ideal stand in, especially considering the circumstances of the killing game (jack’s unique killing style would immediately be found out). she was able to fantasise from afar without ever really getting as severely hurt as she had in the past because he simply did not care to provide her his attention.

jack had two options. kill byakuya and get executed, or suck it up. clearly you can tell which option she chose. in addition, she had all of her memories from prior to the game which most likely slightly numbed her thirst for blood. by the end of ultra despair girls, she has grown a respect for toko, a softness for komaru and even calmed jack down to the point where it’s suggested that she no longer uses her skills to murder but instead fight despair.

in fact, near the end, toko is acutely aware of what is happening despite the fact jack was fronting (they don’t usually share memories, only emotions), suggesting they may have slightly integrated but i don’t really want to make assumptions considering i do not have did and am not educated enough to speak confidently about did.

ironically, the killing game was actually good for both of their mental health’s. i’ll only be talking about toko but in ultra despair girls she was emotionally stronger and more mature. she believed she finally had a purpose other than romance and that she could fight against all odds. she even credits makoto for her newfound courage. she criticises cowards and those that remind her of her past self. she is willing to challenge her fears.

komaru had an amazingly powerful and positive effect on them both. her softness, optimism and empathy help toko’s character develop even further. when komaru tries to give in to despair, toko encourages her to face her fears. toko, who was before extremely afraid and uncomfortable with being touched, is now willing to comfort and even hug komaru. she claims she’s finally found a true friend (that’s actually human, can’t forget kameko the stinkbug) and that she found hope in her.

komaru admires toko and doesnt really mind her split personality, instead just considering it “a bit strange”, which is a noticeable difference from how she was treated by everyone else for it. toko is protective of komaru during chapter two due to her suspicion of shirokuma. later, they even sleep in the same bed.

however, when toko risks komaru’s life for byakuya, they get into an argument in which toko accuses komaru of manipulating her with terms such as “friends”, which leads to komaru showing that she really does trust her.

later, this arguably resolved after servant forces jack and toko to fight against komaru for byakuya. they fight back against servant and komaru forgives her because they are friends, which makes toko extremely happy, so much that she blushed and admits she has never had a real friend before. she thanks komaru genuinely for the first time and they try to become real friends.

toko swears she will help komaru with anything she can’t do by herself, just like komaru would do for her.

toko even stays by her side to the point of rejecting the opportunity of going to future foundation to stay with komaru :)

in the end of danganronpa goodbye despair, which is set after ultra despair girls, kyoko reminds byakuya that someone is waiting for him and he jokes that she shouldn’t remind him of “something so horrifying”. and honestly i think the fact he was able to joke about it shows that perhaps toko and byakuya found a somewhat healthy relationship as friends, acquaintances, or even just bearing eachother’s presence.

a notable addition that didn’t really fit anywhere else is toko’s scrapped execution. “first kiss prank” is the title and it consists of byakuya running towards her before toko gets hit by a roller. that says enough about her biggest fears and how badly her past memories affected her.

in conclusion, toko fukawa’s obsession with byakuya was comphet due to pressure from the media and her toxic ideals. the fact she was able to form a healthy relationship with komaru is hhh and i could talk about them for hours. tokomaru is the second closest thing we have to inmedia stated canon (fuck kodaka’s statement me and the homies hate kodaka’s statement about naegiri /j)

sources: toko fukawa’s fandom wiki, genocide jack’s fandom wiki, free time events, transcripts

#danganronpa #toko fukawa #fukawa toko #touko fukawa #fukawa touko #tokomaru #syomaru #toukomaru #trigger happy havoc #ultra despair girls #character analysis #in which i am unhealthy obsessed with toko fukawa

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literateleah · 3 years

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the paradox of emily prentiss’ audience perception and character design

some of y’all about to be real mad at me, but it must be said:

emily prentiss’ character design makes no sense: my personal opinion + an objective analysis

i think it can be challenging to separate the versions of characters we have in our little brains from actual canon content, but doing so is important for understanding what those characters are truly like, especially within the context of their environment and in contrast to others around them. plus developing a deeper understanding of the media we consume is super fun and interesting! with that being said: emily prentiss should not work for the fbi and here’s why (in three parts regarding who’s responsible: cbs, paget, and fans) (sit down and grab a snack i promise this is over 3k words)

quick disclaimer: i don’t dislike emily at all! that’s my girl, i just looked closer and realized some funky things the writers did and felt the need to analyze her of course: so let’s get into it

part one: what cbs did

cbs set the stage for emily’s introduction on the heels of the departure of lola glaudini as elle greenaway! lola has clarified that she decided to leave the show because filming in los angeles was not the best environment for her personally, and after one successful season on a major network (but not much established long term plot or drama beyond elle’s departure as a character) a consistent ensemble cast was required- particularly because the bau had been criticized for being predominantly male in the first few episodes of the show and not much development was given to penelope or jj yet. enter emily prentiss.

for the duration of seasons 2-3ish, emily was framed as a chip off the block that was elle greenaway, just slightly…richer? in her first few episodes emily was hesitantly polite but ambitious, clean cut, intellectually concise and held her own within the team. she seemed equal parts intimidated and frustrated by her male superiors (gideon, hotch) but certainly proves herself among other profilers. her childhood was explored only within reference to her strained relationship with her mother (which was only ever referenced once more after the fact) and we received a short overview of her educational and career history in her first few episodes. emily fit right into the hole elle had left, and didn’t have many major storylines yet.

seasons 4-6 brought a bit more development and depth to emily’s character! she begins dropping more snarky remarks, one liners, and socially deepening her relationships with the other team members. this seems more within the lines of elle’s design, but emily arguably took more time to grow into her place within the team. during the foyet arc she was vulnerable and supportive, and the doyle arc gave her some independence and agency she didn’t have previously. this era also solidified her appearance and persona as more edgy, which falls in line with general fanon perception of her character (especially when compared to jj or penelope). i can’t address this era or season 7 without mentioning that cbs was actively trying to remove paget from the cast, similar to how they did to aj cook as well. paget has spoken about this instance before, and i believe it slightly affected her portrayal of her character, and “lauren” was somewhat of a goodbye for both paget and emily (thus why she wished for mgg to direct since they were best friends).

season 7: in my opinion, one of the best seasons for emily. she was wisened and deeply wounded by her experiences with doyle, which was understandable of course. she returned to the team she loved and learned to appreciate life in a different way, remaining mature during this time period as well! though her departure was a bit less than graceful and sudden at the end of this season, it made sense compared to some other exits the team had seen.

now *sigh* all the rest.

paget as emily appears in two separate guest appearances (once in s9 and once in s11, and she is referenced offscreen as well) before permanently reprising her role as unit chief of the bau. these appearances were most likely to boost ratings and get the team back together (i.e. 200) or just to pepper in international cases (tribute). emily’s personality remains pretty consistent here, just more mature and comfortable in leadership positions (seeing as she is running an entire branch of an international law enforcement organization). then season 12 hit.

upon the departure of thomas gibson as hotch, cbs reached out to paget to see if she would be interested in fulfilling her role as emily within a longer term unit chief position. i’ll get into why this is wack in a few paragraphs, but the remainder of her time on the show is spent on a mature portrayal that seems very distant from her previous versions. emily is more authoritative, gives orders with ease, and has no qualms about leading a team of agents or even receiving promotion offers as director of the entire bureau.

thus concludes a general summary of the canon content cbs gave us as viewers. now let's talk about what they didn’t give us, regrettably

the primary aspect of emily’s design that comes to mind for many is her queer coding. though not much was to be expected from cbs, a prime time cable tv network, each of her relationships on the show (all with men) seemed oddly forced, and without much chemistry as compared to the SOs of other main characters. rumors of scrapped plotlines have floated around about what may have been, but the ultimate lack of acknowledgement of any queer characters in the main ensemble still leaves a feeling of disappointment to audiences, and leaves more to be desired as for how emily navigates social bonds.

part two (sidebar): what paget did

i think it could be agreed within audiences that paget brewster’s portrayal of emily made the role what it was! her dry witty delivery and emotional prowess combined with sitcom acting experience made her performance a mainstay for years. i think she did the best she could with a confusing and at times flat characterization, and brought the role to life.

paget also heavily contributes to fanon indirectly with her comments outside of the show (press, cameos, twitter etc). her general continued interest and fondness for the role post production affects fan perception, particularly in what she chooses to elevate and comment on. she and aj have both spoken about viewing jemily content, and paget and thomas have both also commented on hotchniss. most cast members feel free to comment on their characters in the appropriate timing, and seem open to discussing fanon ships and theories outside of canon!

part three: what fanon did

as we can tell from this fan space as well as the presence on insta, tik tok and twitter, fans LATCHED onto emily super quickly. she’s remained a favorite over the years, and this fan persistence is what brought her back so many times after leaving (so many times). in my opinion, queer coding and a bolder female trope (in contrast to her female counterparts) are the main pulls because they resonated with so many fans- new and old. with that being said, newer fans of the show in the past year in particular have been heavily influential in fanon, solely because of the large influx of fan content and popularity of it.

fan content began to take coding and bite size moments and snippets from the show as canon, and cemented it into much of the content and discourse they created. these small pieces of emily’s character are significant, but have become magnified by how easily they are to share and edit. for example, a collection of catchy one liners from emily over the seasons makes for a great video edit intro, or gifset! there’s absolutely no problem with this content, it just all combines to create a certain fanon perception no character escapes (this isn’t a phenomenon limited to emily or the cm fandom!)

these droves of content also solidified emily’s personality as much more defined, but at the same time, simplified it in a way that’s slightly harder to explain.

fanon: more emo/goth than canon basis

fanon: more introverted/anti social than canon basis

fanon: more violent/chaotic when canon emily is relatively well mannered and doesn’t start many conflicts (particularly in the workspace)

fanon: much less maternal when canon emily displays desire on multiple occasions (even crossing professional borders) for children, particularly teenage girls (possibly projection)

(again, nothing wrong with this interpretation at all and it still varies! This is just a generalization based on most of the popular content i have seen)

part 4: why it doesn’t work

let me start with this: emily prentiss does not like her job.

we don’t receive much in depth information about emily’s internal feelings and thoughts towards her mother beyond resentment. this stems from wanting to make it on her own, as a professional and as an individual (cough cough college deposits). this makes emily’s insistence on proving herself to authority figures in her earlier seasons is interesting to watch in different circumstances. she cites her experience and denies help from her mother when justifying her placement in the bau to hotch, she is extra vigilant about being helpful on her first case with gideon, etc. nevertheless, emily forges her own path outside of diplomacy and becomes a successful profiler and agent, with the help of her privilege, wealth and name whether she likes it or not. but if we read between the lines and fill in the blanks cbs neglected, these ambitions may subconsciously be oriented towards pleasing her mother.

example one: emily’s authority issues go further than just “rebellion” or “anarchy”, she frequently questions the ethics and sustainability of the work that the bau does. every team member does this, but emily much more so than anybody else.

in “amplification”, emily almost breaks federal protocol to inform civilians of anthrax threats. she butts heads with both hotch and rossi on this front, and ends the episode with having a conversation with rossi about the ethics of lying in their line of work. emily resigns to a solemn “it be like that” and moves along, accepting this reality.

on multiple different occasions emily laments to derek about the darkness she sees on the job, and it’s shown that this gets to her quickly on particularly bad cases. this is another contradiction of the design that she can supposedly “compartmentalize” better than others on the team, when she cannot unless the lives of others are at risk (doyle arc, s7 finale).

emily also responds in this way to many cases involving children, a similarity to jj many don’t notice upon first watching the series. “seven seconds” and “children of the dark” come to mind, during the latter in which emily is prepared to cross multiple professional lines to adopt a teenage girl left orphaned by the case, until hotch stops her and establishes that her emotions can’t rule her judgement on the job. regardless of hotch’s thoughts about her attempted caretaking abilities, these actions and impulses deeply contradict the typical bureaucratic pathways of the work the bau does.

the looming reputation of her mother’s diplomatic history hangs over emily, and after going to law school and working for the cia, she most likely did want to forge her own path as far away from being a socialite: being a spy. her inner nature doesn’t always reflect this profession, and leads me to believe that with her knowledge of psychology, law procedure and care for children: emily prentiss might be more inclined to working in social work, placing suffering children and teenagers in homes they deserve.

and finally, the hill i will die on: emily prentiss was an bad unit chief

this wonderful post touches on my general sentiment, but there were many reasons as to why emily prentiss’ career arc makes little to no sense (plot holes included).

first: her background. emily attended chesapeake bay university as well as yale and achieved a ba in criminal justice. keep in mind that though timelines evidently don’t exist in the cm universe, emily prentiss is ONE YEAR older than aaron hotchner (for context). in her first episode, she professes that she has worked for the bureau for a little under ten years in midwestern offices- something the audience laters knows to not be true. emily worked with the cia and interpol as a part of a profiling team and undercover agent up until roughly TWO YEARS before her canon introduction. plot holes and time gaps aside, this makes me wonder, why didn’t she just say the cia was a backstop without revealing the highly confidential nature of her work with doyle (similar to jj’s state department backstop and cover story)? penelope or hotch could have easily accessed her file and seen that she did not in fact have experience with the bureau in midwestern offices recently, and given the fact that erin strauss set up her bau placement, i’m presuming these formalities or references were overlooked.

second: her experience within the team. emily worked as a part of the bau with the bureau for roughly 6 or 7 years. after this, she is invited to run the entire london branch of interpol, one of the most renowned international law enforcement organizations. i’m surely not the most knowledgeable on requirements or standard timelines for such matters, but with the fact that emily had never led a team in her life (not in the bau or interpol previously) and had roughly 10 years of field experience, i don’t believe she would have ever realistically been considered eligible to run the whole london department.

third: her return to the bureau. fanon depiction of their relationship aside, if you believe aaron hotchner’s last wish before going into witsec was to entrust his team to emily prentiss, you’re dead mistaken. bringing emily back was clearly a pull for ratings after the loss of two main characters (hotch and derek), but logistically a bad decision. let’s suppose emily has had 4 or 5 years of experience in london now, this established authority position would be unlikely to change at the drop of a hat, even for old teammates or friends. also considering how close they were after a decade of working closely in bureaucratic and field contexts, i firmly believe hotch would have referred jj for the job of unit chief but that’s another discussion for another time.

emily’s reign as unit chief is odd, because of the many chaotic storylines crammed into it. but amidst bad writing and viewings plummeting, emily’s character is completely flattened. completely. emily is unrecognizable, both in appearance (that god awful wig) and personality. at times she acts as a complete wise authority, giving orders and delegating local authorities as hotch did. but at other times she makes multiple illegal, emotional, and incorrect judgement calls based on personal circumstances that lead to further chaos (deleting the recording of her and reid’s mexico conversation and reprimanding luke in “luke” for the exact same thing she did in season 6 even though she enabled her to do so come to mind).

i’m not sure if this is due to paget trying to find her footing in the role again, or the writer’s bad decisions towards the end of the show wrecking any previous design for their ensemble. then, there’s the infamous “wheels up” scene in s13e1. notoriously cringey, this seems like a vague caricature of something rossi would say many years in the past (the same goes for her pep talk in “red light” in the hunt for diana reid). these moments are meant to mature emily in the audience’s eye, but instead completely removed her from who we understood her to be, and made her an unreliable leader.

part five: and why it does

in theory, emily was a bolder foil to jj, similar to elle who she arguably replaced at first. she came into her own, and stands as a more uniquely developed character than almost any other in the main ensemble. she isn’t as maternal or domestically inspiring as canon jj, less bright and sunny than penelope, not quite as stoic or intimidating as derek or hotch. And yet at the same time, she’s a fairly blank slate. stripping fanon content away entirely, canon emily has few defining traits (all of which are constantly changing), and that may be the key to why we love her so much.

#long post #emily prentiss #ITS HERE #and its a doozy #read if you'd like #leah writes #if there's typos i apologize #this was a fever dream

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beewolfwrites · 3 years

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An Iron Box - Drawing Parallels

@cheshiya @tenseoyong @szallejhscorner @something-more-original-please @ofsunsetsandpoetries @nek0dzuken @allozaur @hiqhkey @serenzippity

Hi again! Just dropping in with another instalment of An Iron Box. I hope you like it!

I’ve also noticed a few new readers, so for those who are new to the fandom, this is a Chishiya x OC/reader series based on a previous fic. You’ll find all three fics, along with the AO3 links, in a master post pinned to my Tumblr :)

AO3 link for this chapter -> here.

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I knew exactly where to find her, even amidst the extravagant celebration going on outside. She was as far removed as possible, perching on the edge of the roof and observing from above. The bruises on her skin had faded to an a pale, washed out yellow, only noticeable in the warm sunlight that blanketed the rooftop.

‘Not joining the party?’

I sat down beside her, leaving just enough space that I could enjoy her presence while keeping her oblivious. I had the taser in my pocket, ready for the right moment.

Her gaze was fixed on the crowded patio, more specifically, the scowling figure of Niragi. ‘I’m not a party person.’

Ah yes…

Not long after An’s visit last night, Niragi stopped outside my room to spew a colourful mess of threats through the closed door. Not that I cared. By the time he was free to get his revenge, I would be long gone along with the cards.

‘I’m guessing you heard about what happened,’ (name) said. ‘Somebody tampered with the plugs of his bedside lamps while he was in the game last night. Whoever it was cut through the earth wires and messed with the live wires.’

I sighed under the warmth of the sun. It paled in comparison to hers, but it was good enough. ‘There were no fingerprints. It could have been faulty wiring.’

‘That’s true. Though it’s one hell of a coincidence that it happened to both of the bedside lamps.’

‘But not impossible.’

‘No.’ She wore the barest hint of a smile. ‘It’s not impossible.’

I finally pulled out the taser and handed it to her. ‘It wasn’t too bad. Just a case of rewiring it.’

Really, she would be better getting herself a real taser, given this one had been fashioned from scraps one evening when I was beyond bored. However, it seemed to mean something to her, as she cradled it in her lap.

‘Thank you.’

The party had grown even more crazed with cheers and whistles as Hatter’s car sailed away into the distance like a funeral service. Below, the militants dotted around the patio were sharing knowing looks and private smiles. The cries and applauds soared, peaked, then fell as the car disappeared into the city.

‘Hatter’s going to die in this game, isn’t he?’

She was watching the militants too.

‘Of course. That’s why I invited Arisu up here with us.’

‘You’re going to include them in the plan?’

Them.

That perceptiveness…

She’d already worked out that Usagi was tagging along. However, it was surprising that she even had to ask after I talked her and Kuina through the plan last night. Was she this doubtful that I’d extended a hand to a good-natured person like Arisu? The truth would send her running, and I couldn’t have that.

‘Did you think you were special because I included you?’

It was a remark designed to hurt, to keep her ignorant. And from the slight downturn of her mouth and the brief flash of sadness on her face, it worked rather nicely. Although I didn’t expect the small twinge of discomfort that I felt in my chest.

‘Of course not,’ she countered. ‘That’s ridiculous.’

Her words didn’t match her expression, but if a small upset would keep her from finding out, then so be it.

‘Chishiya, I know I’ve asked you this before, but why did you bring me here?’

She’d asked me once in the pharmacy, and a couple of times in passing conversation. It wasn’t a question I had any intention of answering.

‘If you’ve asked me before then you’ll already know the answer.’

‘No,’ she insisted. ‘Why did you really bring me here?’

Silly girl. You don’t help yourself.

Now that she knew I was planning to steal the cards, she was clearly doubting my original reasoning that I thought she was a strong player. I had no loyalty to the Beach, so recruiting for them wouldn’t make any sense now. What other lie could I spin that would keep her in the dark?

It turned out I didn’t have to lie at all, as the door opened, sweeping the matter aside. Kuina walked out onto the roof, Arisu trailing behind like a puppy following its owner. He nodded at me, but when he noticed (name), his face lit up.

‘I remember you from the Tag game.’

There was something annoying about the way she smiled and replied, ‘も覚えています.’ I remember too.

Her accent was still patchwork, and she really didn’t need to bother with the formalities, but I held my tongue. Greetings aside, Arisu looked concerned after having stumbled upon the Beach’s dirty secrets.

‘You and Kuina wanted me to come up here. What’s going on?’

‘I’d like to ask you one thing.’ I stood up, and (name) did the same. ‘How do you plan to live in a world that’s so full of despair?’

As I predicted, Arisu was stumped. There was no right or wrong answer, but the nature of it revealed a lot about the person. I was certain his answer would be vastly different from my own.

‘I’ve come this far,’ he said, ‘and I just want to know who’s behind all of this, who I should get revenge on. And if there’s only one person who can leave, I want to make sure it’s Usagi.’

So noble, and so naive.

‘It’s a good answer.’

‘でも,’ I was cut off. ‘悪い溶液だ.’ But it’s the wrong solution.

It was funny, seeing her participate in what were essentially the same tactics I’d previously used on her.

‘In order to leave,’ Kuina added, ‘you and Usagi would have to win game after game and become number one. It’s impossible.’

Arisu was visibly disappointed. ‘It has nothing to do with you guys anyway.’

I wandered across the roof. Convincing Arisu was like convincing a child; once I knew his motivation, I could twist it into mirroring my own. ‘We think you have potential. That’s why we came to find you earlier.’

‘Potential….’

It’s almost too easy.

I finally looked him in the eye. ‘What if I said there’s a way to change the status quo all at once?’

It was a script I’d rehearsed in my head over and over, how the tension between the militant and idealist sects was rising, and that Hatter wouldn’t return home from his game. Well, not alive, anyway. As I explained, Arisu’s demeanour only grew more and more on edge, yet there was a curiosity keeping him bound to every word.

‘What are you planning?’

You catch on fast… just like she did.

‘I plan to steal all the playing cards,’ I told him. ‘We’re leaving the Beach.’

His eyes widened, and I knew right then and there, I had him. In a way, he was not unlike (name) - driven by emotion, intelligent, yet hopelessly gullible at the same time. I knew it was a double standard, why Arisu should be sacrificed and not her, given they both shared the same natural goodness. Logically, there was no reason bar my own selfishness.

And yet, when I caught her eye from across the roof, what I saw wasn’t the warmth and liveliness from earlier, but confusion… hesitation… and even a dash of conflict. My mind froze, wondering whether she had drawn the same parallels.

The truth…

Had she finally understood the real reason I brought her here?

————

When I invited Arisu to the executive meeting the following day, it came without shock to see Hatter’s body draped across a table. Nor did it surprise me that Niragi suddenly brandished his gun and threatened the executives one by one, including myself, into voting Aguni as their new leader.

The irony was, Niragi could’ve spared himself some time by simply killing all the executives and promoting the militants by several numbers. But of course, he was all bark and no bite… mostly. I still hadn’t forgotten the sight of those bruises. Niragi was a little too close to myself for comfort, flaunting his facade to hide his own shortcomings. Even I was acutely aware of mine.

I was also aware that (name) had been acting strangely around me ever since the meet-up on the rooftop. Her usual skittishness had escalated into obvious discomfort, and every time I looked at her, she turned away, unable to look me in the eye. However, she hadn’t run. If she really had figured out the truth of why I brought her here, she hadn’t fled or backed out of the plan.

But then, how can she?

Clapping and jeering over Hatter’s limp body, Niragi announced Aguni as the Beach’s new king and flashed me a private grin. I knew instantly what it meant, and my skin crawled.

We needed to leave immediately.

There was just one thing left in our way.

‘Hey boss.’ Niragi leaned into his leader, seeking not just permission, but approval. ‘Should we open the black envelope now?’

#alice in borderland #chishiya alice in Borderland #chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #Chishiya x reader #chishiya x oc #aib #Imawa no Kuni no Arisu

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gothamslittlejester · 4 years

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Ledger!Joker x Jealous Reader Headcannons

I think this idea is so fun, so I decided to write a few headcannons for it 😛 The fandom loves to gush about how overprotective and jealous our Jokers are (no complaints here, I’ve definitely written my fair share haha) but lets turn the tables around and give ‘Reader’ a chance to be possessive too. Chaos is fair, after all.

Warnings: Language, slight NSFW and other mature themes

· Being Joker’s partner in crime entailed many things, including getting to know your favorite anarchist in ways that no one else ever would, discovering things that you certainly wouldn’t have learned anywhere else. And learn you did.

· You learned how to craft weapons of very high caliber from meager scraps and items laying around your home, to what side of the bed Joker preferred to sleep on.

· You learned how to find a person’s address just from their face and the quickest way to get a guilty man talking, to how J liked his eggs in the morning… and why it would never be sunny side up.

· “If I wanted this slimy mucus shit on my food, doll, I’d sneeze.”

· You learned that despite how big J’s ego was, he still got needy and protective over you, something you happily had no complaints for.

· …What you didn’t expect to learn however, was just how selfish and possessive you could become of your clown as well.

· Joker pretty much forbid you to share your relationship to the outside world, and that meant everyone ranging from casual friends to close family. It wasn’t because he didn’t want you to gush over him to every soul you came across, because believe him- he wants nothing more than to showcase his loyal little bunny to the whole world- but because it was simply just too dangerous for you. This was Gotham, and he was the Clown Prince of Crime. All it would take was one person to start babbling, and just like that your life would be on the line.

· Would it just stroke his self-esteem to have his enemies see the gorgeous creature that was you, wrapped in his arms? Absolutely.

· Would said enemies immediately come up with elaborate ways to kidnap and torture you as a way to finally get leverage over the man who “cares about nothing?” Also yes.

· Except for a few very, very loyal henchmen, all threatened and silenced to hell, absolutely no one knew about your ties to Joker, and just how bound you actually were.

· He loves to bask in risk, to live on the edge, but not when it comes to you. He adores you, and the thought of losing you and all the fun you had together made him furious. So into the shadows your relationship stayed.

· It wasn’t like you didn’t get his reasoning. It was logical, smart, and you knew it came from a place of- dare you say- love.

· It made sense to you, honestly. It really, really, did… but that did little to stop the jealousy the marinated your bloodstream when his groupies and followers ran up to him on the street, or sent provocative and obsessive fanmail to his cell in Arkham.

· But, being who he was, The Joker, there really was no stopping it. His chaos was like a plague, his madness infectious, and his presence god-like. Many creeps and criminals in this city became desperate for his attention, and that made your blood boil. He was yours, but to the world, he was as single as a bachelor-boy Bruce Wayne. It made you see red.

· There were times you let your daydreams run loose, uninhibited and free, letting your mind explore what you really wanted to do to these groupies… what you wanted to do to their rotting corpses…

· It was downright dreadful, but it wasn’t like J would be opposed to seeing you going on a massacre… if anything it’d leave him rather flattered.

· “All this for me? Darl’, I’m blushing.”

· He’d certainly know how to dispose of a body…

· This jealous frenzy of yours started off slowly, morphing from petty possessiveness to insecurity, to bitter rage. It was beginning to annoy you- since when were you so damn jealous?- so after weeks of drowning in your thoughts, you went to the only person you knew who could help you out, and that was J himself.

· Despite all the countless secrets and dreams you had shared, you heisted to tell him how this jealousy issue was taking a toll on you, and just how ashamed you were of them.

· You thought maybe he’d laugh in your face at how pathetic you were, or perhaps grimace at the weakness you were exhibiting. Surely, he’d crack a few jokes at your expense, right?

· What you got instead was unpredicted thrill, and a kiss so passionate and hungry it left you breathless.

· “Is that right, pumpkin? You’re jealous of all the attention daddy’s getting? You want to kill and slaughter everyone I’ve ever talked to, just because of how needy you are? Such a jealous little bunny I have, hmm…What a little whore…”

· It was probably the last reaction you expected, but as you began feeling his growing bulge press against your pelvis as his lips licked and nibbled at the exposed flesh of your neck, you realized there were worse outcomes.

· “I can’t help it,” you sighed, which quickly turned into mewling as he began leaving hickeys down your throat. “You’re mine. My J…”

· “Yes…” He snarled, already picking you up and leading you to the bedroom. “I’m all yours, princess. So why don’t you show daddy just how jealous you can be.”

#joker x reader #joker headcannons #ledger joker #ledger joker x reader

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morganaofcamelot · 4 years

Text

If Wishes Came True (Chapter 1)

Title: If Wishes Came True Chapter I: The Games People Play

Fandom: BBC Robin Hood

Ships: Guy of Gisborne/Original Female Character, Guy of Gisborne/Marian of Knighton, Original Female Character/Original Male Character

Definately an AU - Sir Guy of Gisborne has served the current Sheriff of Nottingham for five years prior to the beginning of the first season, and is considered a part of the family, both by Vaisey and his daughter Valerie. The chapters are from Val’s POV, as she struggles to maintain her youthful innocence in a place that’s all too willing to steal it away from her, and navigate the intrigues of her father. [Many changes from the show, although the fic loosely follows season 1]

When the servants came to draw the curtains, the cool March air entered the room, almost like a kiss it brushed her, wiping the frown from her face. Below, the courtyard was almost deserted save for some dogs looking for scraps, and the usual guard that her father required to be posted at all times. The castle would soon return to normality, and the men would waken with their sour bellies and headaches, expected to return to their duties.

Everyone but her father, Valerie thought, with an unbidden shiver. The feast last night has been as grand and magnificent as any girl in the cusp of womanhood could dream. For once, her father spared no expense and had made the castle look like it came straight out of a romantic tale; he had commanded the main hall to be lit with torches on sconces, and a hundred candles to be placed around, engulfing the otherwise cold interior in warm light. More servants were specifically hired to help, and she watched in awe as the said servants were hurrying to complete their tasks, and carry the plates of food from the castle kitchen to the feast hall. She had not seen such lavish expenditure on food in all sixteen years of her life.

But as much as she had enjoyed the revelry and the merriment a good feast and a goblet of wine could bring, there was more; her heart had fluttered, last night, at the sight of her father’s right-hand man, Sir Guy of Gisborne, who was most handsome out of his black leather jacket, opting for one in dark blue instead, a color which brought out the color of his eyes…

Valerie blushed even at the mere thought of it – this time she could not blame the strong Burgundian wine that she tested the day before for her bad thoughts, because it was long gone from her system by then. Another shiver crept up her spine. He was such a delight to look at most days, but she wasn’t raised a fool; she knew that his affections were lying with somebody else, whose hand was frequently looped with his arm.

Lady Marian was a pretty young maid, five or six years older than her, and her smiles and attention brought the best out of Sir Guy, who was infamous for the permanent scowl and the bad temper of a mad dog throughout the shire. Valerie held nothing against her, but still found that she was very envious of her, that moment. Not that her father would ever allow her to form an attachment to his man-at-arms. As he had told her, on numerous occasions, only a truly wealthy and powerful man would make a good match for you, my darling. The words were always followed by a pat in the hand, as it was his chosen gesture to show affection.

A shiver, again. This time she hugged her shawl tighter, trying to keep the sensation away. Yesterday’s feast had a special purpose; Lord Robert of Locksley, the Earl of Huntingdon was back from the Crusades after five years fighting as the king’s personal guard. She couldn’t help wondering whether the feast was a distraction – knowing her father, and knowing that Lord Robert’s lands had been ruled by Sir Guy in his absence, she couldn’t help it. None of them should be celebrating Huntingdon’s return. In fact, she thought she had seen Sir Guy most stressed about the situation.

No matter, she thought. Men do as men are.

Valerie turned away and paced about the room, tempted to find an excuse to skip breakfast at the table. She sighed, for her lack of conviction. She’s been taught well. She was raised to be a good girl, and she would only live to serve her father, such as he is, for he had always loved her, in his own way. And so she marched, like a soldier heading to war, but not before taking a last, long look at the mirror. Her face didn’t particularly please her; a long nose, a somewhat pointed chin and high cheekbones was her mother’s legacy to her. Her father, had granted her the dark hair and the green-brown eyes. She wasn’t half as pretty as Marian of Knighton, but she couldn’t help it. She shook her head.

As she had guessed, she found her father in the hall, breaking his fast. Upon spotting her, he gave her a curt smiled and indicated the chair on his left. “Good morning, daughter! Did you have a good night’s sleep?”

“Yes, thank you for asking, Lord Father” and she bend to give him an affectionate kiss on his cheek. “Where is everyone?” she asked, noting the absence of Sir Guy.

A servant girl, Jane, inquired whether Valerie would have wine. Valerie shook her head, as she didn’t enjoy the beverage as much as her father did.

“Oh, last night’s merriment calls for a late morning, don’t you think? Not for me and you, of course.” He said as he bit into his potage and bread. She didn’t speak as he chew, having a feeling that he would go into details. And she was right. “Gisborne’s sulking around here, somewhere, he should be with us soon. And Lady Marian and her father, of course, since they spend the night here.”

Valerie feigned a smile at the mention of Marian. “Good,” she said. “Then I shall have company while you men go on about your business.” Her father nodded. For a heartbeat he seemed intent on studying her, but got distracted by Sir Guy’s entrance.

“Ah, Gisborne. At last. We were just talking about you.” He flashed another one of his bright smiles. Sir Guy was once again dressed in his favorite outfit, the all black leather set.

“My lord,” he politely inclined his head at the sheriff. “Valerie.” His courtesy applied to her, as well.

Valerie took a sip of water. “Good morning, Sir Guy.” She said in a small voice. Damn, she thought. Damn me. That sounded weaker than a man’s dying breath. Her cheeks reddened then, and she was glad that her hair were down this day, to conceal her embarrassment from their scrutiny.

“You had a nice night, Gisborne?” Her father’s lip twitched – an innuendo, or a secret lied in his words. Hidden meanings made his lips twitch, Valerie had noticed. She had watched him speak them countless times.

Sir Guy smirked, without much humor. “It was passable, my lord. The welcoming feast was excellent, however.”

The sheriff – for that what he was when he was in the presence of other people – barked out a laugh. “Ah, Gisborne. I am glad you enjoyed yourself. But I must know, was it the company you kept, or Huntingdon’s face of despair? You have to tell me.”

The black knight laughed, a short, contained sound; as if he didn’t have enough practice at it. “Both, my lord.”

The sheriff patted his subordinate’s shoulder. “Good boy,”. As if he is a dog. Valerie held her tongue; it wouldn’t do, messing with her father’s affairs. She had the inkling that her father saw Sir Guy as the son he was never granted, but his affections were not shown in a way society could deem compatible.

Soon, Sir Edward of Knighton and his daughter came in. Sir Guy’s eyes perked up to look at the object of his fascination. Disappointment crossed his face when Sir Edward took the chair beside him, forcing Marian to sit next to Valerie, who shifted uncomfortably for a moment, then settled. I have nothing against Marian. I cannot blame her for the affection she receives.

After some idle chit chat, the sheriff spoke once more with authority. “You will be present at the hanging, I take it?”

Marian’s fork slipped out of her hand, falling on the plate with a loud noise. “Is it to be today, my lord?” she asked, her bright blue eyes wide.

The sheriff relished her discomfort. “Oh, yes, my darling. My daughter will attend it. She would be most appreciative of your company throughout this ordeal.” He spoke in a way that didn’t let Marian any room for arguments.

“I’d be honored to stand as her companion, my lord.”

The sheriff’s lip twitched again before he spoke. “Good girl.”

***

Valerie had to admit, that Lady Marian was not the most pleasant of companies; she had an air of superiority about her, and a generous amount of confidence that gritted on Valerie’s nerves, because she lacked those qualities, and she so wanted to have them! She shook her head to empty it of her negative thoughts. Lady Marian has done nothing to you. She is as forced in this position as you are.

Yet, envy was not an easy sin to wash away. Still she tried, because she was a good girl. She lowered her eyes whenever she spotted Sir Guy glancing towards them, knowing full well that he sought to gaze upon Marian. Valerie bit her lip, to stop bitter words from escaping.

Lost in her thoughts, she barely noticed the wondrous turn of events that took place right in front of her eyes; when the stools beneath the hanged men were kicked and the cries of their loved ones echoed in the stone walls of the courtyard, Lord Robert snatched a bow from one guard and shot arrows at the hanging ropes, claiming that their crimes worth no more punishment than a spell in the stocks. He managed to free two before one of the guards had his aim on him. Beside her, Marian shifted, grabbing a pin from her hair. Valerie saw that this was not a simple hair ornament, it was an elegant throwing knife, made in such a way that could be concealed in the hair of a woman. Reading into Marian’s intention of incapacitating the guard, Valerie found the courage to catch Marian’s hand before she managed to throw it.

Shock passed Marian’s face that mirrored Valerie’s in equal measure. Below them a cry of pain escaped Lord Robert’s lips. Valerie turned to see that the guard had struck true, and that the arrow shaft had hit the Earl in the arm. The men the renegade lord had managed to free, reached for him amongst the fray, quickly grabbed him and made for the gate, in mad dash to escape justice. The sheriff barked left and right orders, she saw Sir Guy running behind the fugitives, something acute to panic in his features.

The two men Lord Robert didn’t manage to save, were hanging lifelessly from their ropes, forgotten and limp.

“Why?” Marian hissed in my ear, furious.

Valerie feigned innocence. “Oh, I do not know what happened. I’m sorry if I held onto your hand too tight; I was scared out of my mind, Lady Marian. I thank God for your company, for without you here, I would have surely fainted!”

Marian was confused, but managed to slip into a mask fairly quickly. “Oh, think nothing of it. I am here for you.” Biting her lip at the end of the phrase. Lies, Valerie thought. Her face feels like an open book.

Looking down, Valerie commented on the lethal hairpin. “Oh, that’s a lovely design,” she said, pointedly. “It must have fallen off your hair, during this nasty business.”

Biting her lip again, Marian nodded.

“It’s very pretty you know; you must let me borrow it one day.”

Marian offered a small smile, now that she felt secure. “I will, one day. You must be very careful, though. It was a gift from my father.”

The commotion had left the castle, as most of the guards were chasing the escaped criminals. Valerie smiled at the older woman. It was Marian’s turn to compliment her, she knew, as was the norm between the two of them.

“That’s a lovely necklace. Silver, isn’t it?” Sure enough, Marian delivered. Valerie’s hand touched the jewel in question without meaning to; it was a token she wore every day for the last six months, ever since Sir Guy had given it to her as a birthday present. The design was simple, but Valerie thought it the most beautiful necklace of the world.

“Yes,” Valerie replied, with a genuine smile growing on her face. “It is my favorite.” A slight pause. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Lady Marian, I have to return to my father.”

Marian simply smiled and nodding. “And I will return to mine.” Valerie spared a glance behind her, as she was climbing up the stairs of the castle.

“What game are you playing, Lady Marian?”

#bbc robin hood #robin hood bbc #guy of gisborne #guy of gisborne x original female character #*mine

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lizzybeth1986 · 4 years

Text

Quick Thoughts on The White People Waambulance, Chapters 18 and 19

• Sorry this QT is coming out so late, guys. I regret to say my heart wasn't really in this one...and it hasn't been with regards to my QTs for a while. This one might be my last, unless we count me finishing them off for the (not rewritten) Book 1. It's been two years since I began, and the last two books made the process honestly really exhausting.

• I clubbed the two finale chapters together because I really couldn't be bothered to do separate ones for both.

• In fact...I won't be doing any of what I have been doing for my QTs so far. I'll be honest to you: I usually do multiple replays, the last few in tandem with the other routes on YouTube. I go through the scenes one by one. I keep note of differences and variations and carefully choose screenshots that will reflect the gist of the scenes.

But I couldn't be bothered to do any of that this time. I pressed the "continue" and then the "end book" buttons as soon as I finished my first run of those chapters. I'm drained, guys. And I don't think I'll be coming back to the TRH series at least, not even for Liam or Hana or Kiara. Maybe my mind will change by the time the second book comes out (update from present-day Lizzy: no it didn't) but I'm not counting on it. And you'll probably know why by the time this QT ends.

• TW: Discussions on racism, both fandom racism and from within the narrative. The last section of this QT is going to be...pretty heavy, guys.

There's also going to be a lot of anti-Drake, anti-Olivia, anti-Madeleine and anti-Penelope content here, so if you like any of those characters...well, you've been warned.

The ensuing post is going to be LONG, and I know a lot of you have good reasons not to deal with long posts, so here's a tldr:

1. The TRR writing team stick to their weird obsession for jobless whiny white men.

2. Read this book once and you'll feel like you're drowning in an ocean of white tears.

3. WOC continue to get scraps from the writing team, even as they boast of being diverse and inclusive. In fact, they're regularly treated as mere tokens, exotic eye-candy or non-entities, while their behaviour is measured on standards that are very different from their white counterparts (this happens in other books as well).

...okay I wasn't expecting for the tldr to be long too 😅

• Me @ my QTs then:

Me @ my QTs now:

• I'll probably be finishing off my TRR Book 1 QT series when I'm a little less burnt out, but for now this is where it ends, I guess.

• So...here is to summarize the last two chapters: Accident happens. LIs mad. Paparazzi sad (but largely get away scot-free). MC and baby safe. At the Council meeting Kiara slam dunks the murderer of Liam's mother with the style and elegance this fandom still refuses to acknowledge her for. The MC is nice to her for like half a second. Last Apple Ball. New clothes for everyone as if they had a Diwali bumper sale the week before or something. Godfrey is somehow responsible for the security (who thought this was a good idea) and seeing the Auvernese Royal Guard outside our doors is SO not-creepy.

We get to see if we impressed our Auvernese and Monterriso allies enough. Bradshaw compliments Kiara for like half a second. Olivia sees the dude from the Q&A session (Jin) at the Ball and (if you pay) you get to see her catch, interrogate and lowkey flirt with him.

Leona and Bianca make it to the ball (where is Bartie Sr. Where are Xinghai and Lorelei. Where is Regina) and this time the narrative makes sure to shoehorn a plot element into their presence here: Leona is there so we can do something about the reveal that she constantly ratted us out to the press for money. ("oh look! Walker Ranch was plot related after all! We have a reason (albeit a flimsy, paper-thin one) to set 9 whole chapters in Texas. Even though we had to literally come up with this bit in the last minute, because really - all we wanted to do as a writing team was nut collectively over Drake Walker")

(I also can't believe that between the time I wrote this line and the time this QT finally came out - they literally found a way to re-fucking-write Book 1 so they could nut collectively over Drake Walker earlier)

• Why were we required to dress down in Texas for these assholes when they couldn't even bother to dig up their Sunday best for this ball??? Oh right, they're Walkers. Hypocrisy runs in the family.

• Good thing is you can choose to banish Leona if you want. She's angry about it for a second then accepts it and leaves. But like what is the point of banishing her when she hardly even bothers to come there in the first place? She's not going to be bawling her eyeballs out saying "boohoo, they threw me out of this country that I spent like five minutes in and never even wanted to visit in the first place".

• Bianca is present at the end of Chapter 18 mainly to deliver to us a plot point at the very last minute: a clue about where we could find proof about Queen Eleanor's murder. Bianca mentions conversations Jackson had with her, and a secret room somewhere. Her leaving the palace and abandoning her children is addressed, and the MC gets to berate her. It's...short.

• Why this important piece of information was given to Bianca when idk LEO could have pitched in and spoken about it, no one knows. Oh wait. I keep forgetting. Bianca is Drake's mother. That's why.

• Okay so Amalas valiantly found out about Leona's involvement in this and gave us tangible proof via photographs. But we're kiiiinda forgetting that the scrutiny and privacy invasions were happening even before we hauled ass to Walker Ranch? Who was responsible for those? Who was the "source" that the Chapter 17 paparazzo was referring to, the one that mentioned they would triple the price for more photos of the Queen/Mother of the Heir (Coz like why would she do that. She's already broke)? How did Amalas come by this information so easily and why was she really that invested? Why is no one asking these questions? Why isn't the group asking these questions? Why are they stupid. Jesus, they're all so stupid. HOW ARE YOU SO STUPID, SQUAD.

• Shortly after they get rid of Leona and Bianca, the rest of the group give the happy couple a choice of toys for the nursery - and that's our final nursery purchase. You can either go for the corgi - which is on brand for the series by now I think - or the lion, which is seen as very Cordonian.

• More party shenanigans. We're nice to Kiara for another half-second. Kiara arranges a photoshoot for us. The team can't pretend to give a fuck anymore about its fans so they will ask us to pay for an edit that I've seen millions of edit-creators in the fandom do wayyyy better. Like let's be honest - compare the engagement shoot pics (messy as they were) to the shoots we eventually got this book. You can see the difference. You can tell which one required more work.

• Anyway, if you choose this scene you wind up going back to the ballroom, dance with your spouse, aaaaand it's time for another diamond option. This time your spouse gives you something you've been craving (mousse parfait for the Liam MC, chocolate chip cookies for the Hana MC, handmade chocolates for the Maxwell MC and a choice between bacon and a veg version of it for the Drake MC. Damn, team TRR. Your favouritism is showing). The couple also writes a letter to the baby that the child can read growing up, in a bit of a parallel to Eleanor's letter to Liam that we see at the end of the chapter.

• After this, Liam reveals he has been pondering over what Bianca said, and wants to find out where they could find that secret room. Cue Liam's own flashback scene for free. Godfrey bringing to Queen the same goblet that the RoE MC found in a flea market in Book 2 for Regina (or perhaps just a similarish one). Liam and Eleanor reciting a rhyme that turns out to have clues for the secret room.

• To give the team credit, they seem to have (finally) put some thought into this. Like this actually feels like Liam's scene. Not one that delivers information about his family but is really about another character. They seem to incorporate all the things Eleanor seemed to be known for - things that were hardly addressed in the books when it came to talk of her. She is shown with a love for books given that books and poetry form an important part of the clues she leaves for Liam. One of the books is about foraging, which is unsurprising considering her love for gardens that was established in Book 1 of TRR.

• So...like...nice job but why was practically everything about Eleanor (including the way she'd stand up to Constantine, her displeasure at the sound of Godfrey and Bartie's names, her nature that Liam not only inherited but also learned) left only for your finale? Why no buildup? Why was I seeing you lot constantly pandering to Drake's family the entire time? Why do I know way, way more about Jackson than I do about Eleanor whose story this WAS? Why is she and her son suddenly getting this burst of attention at the tail end??

• They still manage to push young!Drake into a scene focusing on Liam and Eleanor, so we can see how Eleanor's teaching of how to be a responsible royal began to make inroads into Liam's way of thinking. It's the ultimate irony, that Liam took his mother's advice so much to heart that he lets Drake stay in his home, eat his food, and complain about those dastardly nobles to his heart's content for free.

Poor Eleanor in her grave is like

• Very fitting, how Constantine's proposal to Eleanor happens in the hedge maze, very much like Liam's first declaration of love in Book 1.

• If you're married to Liam, you get an extra letter that's addressed to Liam's future wife. She clearly knew her days were to be numbered by the time she gave birth to that second child at least.

• Lmao @ how the team somehow managed to remember that Eleanor would have been Leo's stepmother too. He's mentioned a couple of times. They didn't have enough time to develop a sprite for young!Leo but somehow had all the time and resources to make one for young!Savannah who had literally no purpose in Drake's flashback scene? Hmm. Hmm.

• They somehow manage to find the twin to the RoE MC's gifted goblet that Godfrey gave Eleanor the night she died, and Liam reveals that he's been obsessed with poisons enough to know that it wasn't the drink that was poisoned, it was the cup itself. Everyone is shook.

• Love that extra little detail about Liam's obsession with learning about poisons and how it's a sign of how deeply Eleanor's death affected him. But tell me honestly if you remember this plot point coming up even once before in any significant way. Even during the one time a person is poisoned in the previous book (by the laws of karma, the victim in this instance is Godfrey's only daughter) Liam shows very few signs of this "obsession". At a time when he has also lost a father. Convenient how something that could have added more depth to Liam is kept aside until there's a scene where his knowledge is required. Convenient indeed.

• I kind of understand why Liam acts on impulse, okay. The man just discovered who murdered his mum, at least some amount of irrationality is allowed (esp considering he hardly got to express ANYTHING when his goddamn father died). But you'd think Liam's friends would hold him back and help him think this through? Convince him that there are more effective ways to confront and get a confession out of Godfrey who after is in charge of security at the moment? You seriously think charging into the ballroom and suddenly stripping this man of his titles is going to actually work??? You couldn't figure out how to make him vulnerable instead so that he wouldn't be able to escape???

• I mean like, sure, one could always rationalize it all as "well see Lizzy, they needed a dramatic end to this story and they needed to wrap this mystery up quick". But there were other ways they could have spread it out than make it all sound so...so random. And you bet we all know why the narrative had to scramble around last minute to solve this. It's because we spend half the damn book in a dilapidated ranch with a shit family!

• Anyway, Godfrey escapes...and the MC tells her spouse that she's going into labour after...two contractions? Um. Okay.

• So. That ends Book 1 of this new series. And with it my QTs, for this series at least. My QTs for Book 1 (the OG, not the rewrite) might continue, but I'd need to repeat my failplay again because I lost most of those screenshots 😭

General Thoughts on the Book:

• So far, this is what I can see as happening in the next book:

- The birth, obviously

- Any extra perks from our purchases (ie. the nursery and the garden)

- Subplots involving the LIs' conflicts regarding parenthood and their own childhoods

- The mystery behind Eleanor's death isn't quite over yet, nor is the truth behind the constant paparazzi presence in TRH. Leona was the scapegoat this time around, but how did Amalas get all this information so quickly?

- Where is Eleanor's other child? Olivia's investigations may or may not lead to that answer. I'm pretty sure Jin might be involved as well.

- Another possibility is that Madeleine may give us important information since she was potentially aware that Eleanor was pregnant at the time.

- The mystery behind Jackson's death and what he knew regarding Eleanor's condition.

- What part did Bartie Sr have to play in all this? How involved was Constantine in the murder (if in fact he was)? What more dark secrets will we learn about Constantine, Godfrey and Bartie Sr during this time? What ultimately caused the breakdown in Constantine and Jackson's relationship, since Drake mentions Jackson being around when Regina was Queen as well?

- Speaking of Regina, how involved was she in any of this? We know she was Godfrey's cousin-in-law and Bartie Sr made a comment on her during the announcement about the heir, and that she married Constantine a couple years after Eleanor's death, but was she aware of any of this or was she largely out of the major plot and brought in later to cement Godfrey's position and power?

- I'd mention the possibility that Lorelai could know something, but they didn't really give anyone connected to Hana any time at all, so I have my doubts.

- Operation Swan, and possibly a visit to Monterisso. Liam's younger sibling must be in one of these places but my guess is on Monterisso.

- I'm guessing the team will write a nice wedding for Penelope and Ezekiel next book, while Kiara continues to get scraps from the same team.

- Drake and Olivia will continue to eat into the plot. Madeleine will join this unholy trinity as well because they've set the stage for her to have plenty of angst.

With that over, these were my thoughts once this book was finished:

WHERE ARE THE DUCHESSES?

Remember how, back in Book 3, we all marvelled at the number of women in this country who were in positions of power? Adeleide and Emmeline were powerful duchesses while their husbands were secondary figures, and Joelle though married into a noble family is an influential artist and - according to Liam - the embodiment of King Fabian's values. It seemed like, despite the underlying sexism and racism in the story, women were at least at the forefront of Cordonian politics.

This is virtually gone in TRH1. Godfrey (who wasn't even interested in Krona in the first place, much less Cordonia) and Landon (whose only concern seemed to be Penelope, leaving Emmeline to manage the duchy) have a seat in the Council. In fact we never even see either of these woman in the book. I can maybe understand the logic behind not appointing Adeleide, but the fact that Emmeline is passed over for her far-less -qualified husband is a mystery to me!

Also, has anyone noticed how white-male-centered the whole Eleanor story is? Notice how we never see Eleanor's friends, besides Jackson? We never see any of the courtly ladies of that era? She's the Queen. She'd have her own court. I find it impossible that Eleanor would have no interactions of importance among her own goddamned court, that Joelle, Emmeline or Adeleide wouldn't even be mentioned in her story thus far. It's fascinating that forget being part of her story - these women are largely forgotten in the book itself.

(Note: It's also important to add that none of Kiara's family - besides Zeke - makes an appearance this book. At all. One member of Penelope's family and one member of Madeleine's family is in the council, but we never really see or hear anything from Kiara's, even though Hakim was Constantine's old friend and Joelle could have easily been connected to Eleanor, given that Eleanor was exactly the kind of ruler Joelle would have loved and respected.

While we're on that subject, Lorelai could have been connected to Eleanor as well - considering that we know next to nothing about her years in Shanghai. There were ways Hana's story could have been tied into the overall plot as well that were largely ignored. The fact that both the main and secondary WOCs presented opportunities for better plot and story, and despite that they were largely ignored in the books...I think that says a lot. But I will get into more of that in detail in a different section).

LI SPACE AND STORY

• Now...as we all know, The TRR/TRH series is primarily a romance-focused book first, with an underlying plot about royalty and politics. So it makes sense to evaluate the book based on what it gives its love interests. That includes the number of scenes they get, and the kind of focus their story is given. So...here's the rundown of how that goes in TRH Book 1:

Liam: Overall, not too bad. He gets one individual scene, a free and paywalled childhood scene (though the free one is essential for the group's realization of who killed Eleanor). The letter his mother writes to Liam includes an extra section towards the end, meant for the MC who marries him. However, we must note that a lot of this "attention" was thrust into the very final chapter of this book, and 99% of the same book didn't exactly make an attempt to explore his inner thoughts on anything - his mother's death, the dealings with the foreign countries, his political activities. Eleanor being pregnant came from a scene that made Olivia the center of attention, the MC had the opportunity to ask him how he was feeling only once or twice, and most of the time the narrative relegated it all to "the matter is still being investigated". It's a slight improvement from the absolute lack of concern the MC and the narrative showed about Liam's emotional state post his father's death in Book 3, but not much.

Variations wise, the team did step up on the basic ones for most of the LIs, so clearly we've moved past the days of seeing cut-paste scenes and the likes of Liam and Hana saying "I'm so dumb in love with you". However, in playthroughs where the MC is Liam's wife and Queen of Cordonia, her lack of genuine concern for her country and lack of curiosity about the place she's ruling, sticks out like a sore thumb. The fandom loves to highlight how the plot is "written for Liam" or is "easier in Liam's playthrough", but besides his own child being the heir, nothing else from Book 3 onwards seems like it was particularly written with him in mind.

Drake: Hoo boy. So 2019 was clearly the year that many people didn't believe me about Drake eating up space, and the year they had to eat their words because in TRH it was too obvious to be ignored. On an overall scale you cannot avoid the extra perks even his LI scenes got - his Valtoria scene in Chapter 4 was longer, set in a different place and he was allowed to expand on his decision to say yes to Liam's request in a way Hana and Maxwell never were. We learned way more about his familial relationships and dynamics than all the LIs combined. His childhood scene was the first to be given variants depending on whether the MC was his wife or not. His sister's wedding takes up almost half the book, leaving little to no space for either the intrigue, or even the pregnancy that was supposed to be THE most important part of the book.

An insane amount of retconning was done to emphasize strongly on the "marshmallow" part of his personality, having him state time and again that for the MC he can even "sport a tutu if you said you had a thing for the Sugar Fairy". Part of these changes could be attributed to the backlash the team got for having him call a pink cake "girly".

There is a strong possibility that Jackson might be explored further in the second book, and it's no surprise considering that he's the one parent that is most talked about in the series. The book looks like it was truly written with Drake in mind, with a heavy dose of Olivia, and everyone else was added as a bit of an afterthought.

Maxwell: Pretty awful treatment for a character that the head writer of the team claims to like. He has no individual character scenes, and one childhood scene where his older brother Bertrand is given more focus. Ironically, Maxwell was more wary of Bartie Sr in TRR Book 2 than Bertrand was, but somehow they changed this little detail so that Maxwell could be written out of his own story.

His LI scenes were also not given much effort - some were badly written, and some scenes (like the free ones) showed little to no variations between the friendly and romantic playthroughs. One that comes to mind is the baby announcement photoshoot, which was so poorly done it added nothing of value to the character or the relationship.

Like the last book, Maxwell isn't allowed much development in TRH1, and he's still forced into a largely "court jester" role in the story. This reflects very poorly on him in certain situations, such as the chapter where we finally get glimpses of his book. The aim was to be humourous and light about the events of the series, but he comes out of it sounding thoroughly insensitive towards his friends, none of whose consent he took to write this self-centered pile of garbage.

However, there is hope that they might do things a bit better for him next book, if the rewrite of him in TRR 2.0 was anything to go by. However, it would be awful if they tried to do a better job of him and then left out Hana. Speaking of which...

Hana: I'm going to begin this section with a comparison to another character, someone who should have been treated as a secondary character - Olivia.

Olivia in this book has 2 character scenes (they're very plot driven, but they also explore her outside of her friendship with the MC and dynamic with the group). The spy scene with Auvernese royalty, and the scene with Jin, the Auvernese spy. An entire chapter is spent in her duchy (by now we've seen Lythikos four times and I'm now sick of the place), and she winds up taking over Maxwell's Q&A scene as well.

So that's technically 2.5 scenes AND a childhood scene that revolves around her even though it's about Liam's mother. In addition to this, Olivia also gets her own mini-book, The Royal Holiday, that revolves (again) around her duchy and has the group clamouring to give her attention when no one else wants to.

Here are the stats for Hana, who by virtue of being an LI, is also a potential co-protagonist in the series:

Nothing.

Zilch. Zip. Zero. Nada. Nothing.

She has one childhood scene that is part of the group's scenes - a beautiful, heartbreaking one that serves as a slap in the face to anyone who'd dared to be dismissive of what she went through earlier - but none after that, and no individual scenes either. The team - in one of their most offensive choices this book - force a storyline where she has fertility issues just so the MC can be the one carrying the child, and the same MC can opt(!!) to ask about her well-being after two days. The same MC has the chance to whine about not getting pregnant soon enough in front of Hana.

There have been a few efforts made to make the MC appear more caring towards Hana: she can angrily defend Hana against Isabella's jibes, and she can make Hana relax for once during the baby shower (unlike the wedding reception where the same MC treated her like a bridesmaid). The MC even gets to tell her wife that she should never consider herself secondary or unimportant.

All of these are nice, but at the end of the day they're all scraps. I'd equate it to how we're allowed to give Kiara compliments on the final two chapters, but the white women around her still get a far bigger chunk of space, story and attention dedicated to them. The team have a pattern of adding these tiny tidbits that will temporarily satisfy stans while still maintaining the status quo, and that's precisely what's happening here. Its important for us to understand this. Underneath all this surface concern and all these scraps, Hana is still getting dust in place of actual story and characterization. And given that they made ZERO major changes to Hana's scenes in TRR 2.0, I'm not expecting that to change.

As for the book in general...I don't have to go into why this book is a mess, do I? We all know. We've all witnessed how disproportionate the writing has been and while I'm glad more and more people recognize what I've been seeing since Book 3, it's sad that it took 9 whole chapters in Walker Ranch for so many to understand exactly how much space Drake has been eating up for no good reason.

BLACK HOLES AND WHITE TEARS

I'll begin this section by talking about Drake Walker. He's the most prominent sign of the larger problem.

Drake Walker is what I call a Black Hole LI. And yes I mean black hole as in the one that exists in space (Beckett from TE also fits into this category). He is the kind of LI that sucks up everything. Love. Light. Joy. Common sense. Other characters' spaces.

He is the kind of love interest that will have Liam's traumatic experience centered around him. The kind of love interest for whose problems - largely created by his mammoth ego - we have to resolve in Shanghai, the home of the lone female LI. While that same female LI gets nothing, and then disappears in a subsequent chapter. The kind of love interest whose love confession can take precedence even over the MC's own issues (remember the Beaumont House chapter in Book 1? The one that took place the day after Tariq nonconsensually kissed the MC? 98% of the dialogue revolved around Drake's feelings. Not about the faulty lock, not the possibility that the MC's security had been tampered with - Drake's feelings). The kind of love interest that was given an entire extra wedding and artwork for his mother in Book 3 itself - none of which were given to any other LI.

A Black Hole LI is totally the kind of LI that would get 9 whole chapters in their home while we have never even visited the homes of the others since the early books of the previous series.

This wasn't something that began just this book. It's been a constant since Book 2, and you can even see signs of his story gaining way more importance in Book 1. It's also not something we can - in all honesty - blame simply on finances and fan popularity: the writers confirmed Drake to be one of their favourites, and attempts to give his scenes additional perks (eg plot elements pushed into both the Whiskey scene and the Beaumont Office scene) happened long before they could make any conclusions about his popularity. I bought the Beaumont Office scene to find out more about that family. I bought the Marshmallow scene so I could find out more about Liam and Hana's conversation post Coronation (remember - Hana was never even allowed to speak about her return to Cordonia because that scene was given to Drake). I bought the Italian Restaurant scene to learn more about Liam's assassination. The funny thing about all these three is that these were their stories to tell, yet Drake is the focus. Quite a few of Drake's initial scenes sold because the team consistently made the effort, consistently ensured that the information from his scenes would benefit us in the long run. The narrative allowed for Drake to have his own story, and additionally let aspects of his story overshadow that of the other LIs' (see the examples I've given above). Even though he has very little of value to contribute to the larger story (no job, his friendships are shallower than a wash-basin, and no genuine communication with any commoner in the story - only endless whining).

The treatment Drake gets that no other LI does, is a problem in itself, but it also is a small part of an even bigger issue. He isn't the only white character who gets this sort of attention and detail to his story.

Take Olivia, for example. Started out as a rival to the MC, before her sad sad childhood and her genuine love for Liam was revealed in the Book 1 finale. Over the course of the story, her role changed from petty rival to Warrior Duchess to reluctant bff. Over the course of the original series, Olivia became one of the most prominent characters in the story, on par with the male LIs. I'm not sure how many people realize that Lythikos is the ONLY duchy in the kingdom we've seen thrice (four times if you count Holiday). To give you an idea of how big a deal that is, here's how many times we've visited other duchies besides the capital and Applewood:

Fydelia - 2

Portavira - 1

Castelserraillian - 1

Ramsford (the home of our sponsors!) - 1

Hana's mother's home - Never.

Lythikos has a detailed familial and cultural history, and I wouldn't be lying if I said we know more about this one region than we know about the entire country of Cordonia. And honestly for me, the obsession with this one duchy has reached saturation point. Lythikos is not Cordonia. Lythikos is not all there is to Cordonia or even the only place that should matter. Yet it seems the team is more than eager to flog that horse until there's nothing of interest left.

Olivia is the only character who gets an entire mini book that revolves around comforting her and making her feel better about her background and origins. I don't think we've ever given Hana this much attention when she left her home for us. Or when she was being bullied by Madeleine. Or when she was the other bride in that grand wedding. Or when we received the news that carrying a child to term would be dangerous for her body. Or --

We were given an entire mini-book to comfort Olivia - the woman who continued to call Hana "damaged goods" and " a failure" for not marrying a man, while Hana's friend/wife stood by and watched. The woman who didn't have to think twice before making snide remarks about an equally skilled courtier who never did her any harm, only because she could get away with it. Istg when I heard that most of the court snubbed her during that first event in Holiday, this was my reaction:

Like girl I feel bad for you but at least now you know how it feels to be held responsible for shit beyond your control!

Hana, in the meantime, is forced time and again into situations that would break most people - but with very little payoff. Her arc with her parents was given a resolution that confirmed that Hana could only be considered worthy if she was useful. She was made to interact time and again with the woman who harmed her with such glee in Book 2. The MC - as a friend or as a wife - is at best neglectful of her issues and at worst someone who uses and discards Hana as she sees fit. And now...in her romantic playthrough she's given a storyline that doesn't allow her to bear children easily, and the MC spends less than two minutes to actually check on her. Hana is one of the co-protagonists, yet a side character given the treatment she should be getting. One could technically blame finances for the way she's being treated too, but keep in mind that the bad treatment goes as far back as the Applewood chapters in Book 1. Technically a time when she was bringing in money.

I get it. Olivia is a fan favourite. Many in the fandom wanted her to be an LI, the writers didn't, so they carved out this middle path where she'd have a major portion of the story anyway. But keep in mind that a lot of this attention came - and is still coming - at the cost of Hana. The team pretty much gave Olivia what they'd been refusing to give Hana all along.

On a smaller scale, you see similar patterns with the secondary characters - especially the women of the court. Madeleine and Penelope had elaborate backstories designed to make people forgive and sympathize with them, and Kiara - even though her backstory in Book 1 was inherently tragic and deserved to be handled sensitively - was given validation with great reluctance from the team, and with no consequences if we treated her cruelly. Even now, the team has only tossed Kiara a couple of scraps in the final chapter, while already setting the stage for Madeleine to get her own tragic "patriotism" arc for TRH Book 2, and a possible wedding for Penelope in the near future.

The difference here doesn't just lie in who gets attention and who doesn't. It lies in how the MC is supposed to view these women as well. A lot more sympathy and understanding is automatically extended to the white women, and the MC faces consequences if she fails to acknowledge their pain. Far less sympathy is offered by default to the black and the Asian woman - the MC may be friends with Hana but a huge chunk of their relationship is mostly about the MC benefiting from Hana's skills without giving much in return.

Even though their misdeeds are acknowledged and spoken about, both Madeleine and Penelope are written in such a way that the problems they're currently facing matter more than anything they've ever done in the past. Hana is made to sweet-talk Madeleine despite being bullied by her in a previous book. The MC herself never gets ANY opportunity to directly address what Penelope put her through in Portavira, because what the MC went through matters less than Penelope's condition.

Compare this to the relatively small scale of Kiara's "misdeed" (being honest about not continuing with an alliance - I'm surprised people think this is an actual thing to be offended about!), and the way the MC is allowed to mistreat her sans consequences afterwards. We're even allowed to call Kiara a snob in the books - which isn't at all true if you look at any of her scenes in canon - and constantly make fun of her desire to learn (in fact, if anyone in the series could be called a snob, it would be Olivia). If I were to sum up how a woman of colour is spoken about in the books, vs a white woman - this screenshot would do the trick:

(Notice how none of the options to speak about Penelope allow us to speak rudely of her, yet in Kiara's case we're allowed to make judgements on her as a person. In Hana's case, while we don't exactly drag her the way we can drag Kiara - we get precious few opportunities to actually defend or support her when others talk rubbish about her).

When you explore the series overall, it's impossible to ignore the casual racism that makes disrespecting people of a certain race/colour easier than on another. It's impossible not to see where the narrative chooses to give consequences to an MC who treats a white woman badly, and where it allows the very same MC to suspect, and then (optionally) gaslight, a woman of colour a couple chapters later. It's impossible not to see which people are meant to be respected despite their bad behaviour, and which people can still be treated badly despite their better behaviour. It's impossible not to see a pattern emerging.

This is not even a problem that plagues only the TRR series. From TCaTF to ACOR to Platinum to even MoTY, there is an ongoing pattern of discrepancies between the way white people and people of colour - particularly women - are treated. Many POC characters are placed in situations where it's easier for them to suffer/die/be shown disrespect, than it is to show them kindness or mercy. MOC are regularly either exoticized (Prince Hamid is the most glaring example of this) or placed in very traumatic situations for which the payoff isn't always going to be that great (I know this happens to Dallas, but I don't know about the payoff for Syphax).

WOC particularly suffer quite a bit in a lot of PB novels, in comparison to their white counterparts. Rowan Thorne of TCaTF, as a character, didn't deserve for her death to be made easier than her survival (in contrast to Diavolos, who was given far more opportunities AND will live simply by virtue of allying with Kenna), any more than Kiara deserved to be interrogated by the people who should have been concerned for her safety or Xanthe deserved to be shipped to slavery. All this, while a Vanessa (who is in a position of power and who plays an active role in rendering the MOTY MC financially helpless) gets a diamond scene where she "explains" her situation and a Madeleine doesn't even have to hear about her bullying from her victims.

The fandom, too, has contributed to this on a number of occasions. Speaking specifically of TRR, how many times have we seen Hana being dragged on Olivia posts? (also, if we were really measuring Olivia by the impossible standards that we held for Hana's characterization, Olivia would appear pretty damn one-note too: after all, 80% of her characterization consists of knife jokes). How many times was Hana being looked at with disdain for either her niceness or the poor writing for her, while the same fandom would regularly coo over a nice-presenting Penelope (whose characterization is one of the most inconsistent in the series)? How many times have we seen Kiara being called a creep/obsessed for merely looking at a man, while almost no one judges Olivia for kissing a man without his consent? How many times have people forgiven a traitorous Penelope and hated on a far more innocent Kiara in the same breath? How often did the fandom hate on Liam for accepting the MC's advances after she rejected him, yet not say a word when Drake did the same thing? How many times has Maxwell been loved for his humour and childlike nature while people of colour with a similar personality (Lily from Bloodbound, for example) were hated on instantly? Clearly, there have been more instances of people in the fandom sympathizing automatically with the white character, than with characters of colour. Time and again, brown and black characters - particularly women - have been required to match up to impossible standards (if they're nice they're boring. If they don't like the MC they're <insert every gendered sexist insult you can think of here>). The standards are far more relaxed for white characters, and they're often given more breathing room and to most of what they want without the constant judgement that black and brown women get. The standards set up for both are grossly different.

Racism is a beast that assumes many forms - and not all forms of racism will appear obvious to some, especially when such stereotypes are so normalized in media and popular fiction that we almost accept it at first. Almost. To get to the root of why there's such an imbalance in this series - among others - we need to first acknowledge the sexism and racism that are such a vital part of its narrative, and that its fandom regularly buys into and (sometimes unwittingly) promotes.

At this point, it's important to understand that having queer characters or characters of colour simply exist in the books isn't enough. Token rep can be found in PB's books by the dozens, but at the end of the day it means nothing if there is a constant reluctance, over and over and over, to treat those characters with the same care and sensitivity that they treat their white ones (or their "exoticized brown" ones).

• Like I mentioned earlier, I won't be playing TRH from this point forward, but I do hope to finish my TRR QTs soon. I have a LOT of thoughts! If you'd like to be tagged on those, do tell me!

#long post #tw: racism from pb #tw: fandom racism #trh quick thoughts #trh qts #king liam #hana lee #maxwell beaumont #anti drake walker #anti olivia nevrakis #anti trr madeleine #anti trr penelope #trr kiara

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beautymercurydragon · 4 years

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Fun facts about my ML next-gen/plot changes

Originally, it was supposed to be a story where Alya’s son and Marinette’s daughter were Chat Noir and Ladybug, and they fell in love with each other over time, while Kagami’s daughter Kimiko tried to set them up

Maddie never existed in my original concept. Originally, Adrien and Marinette were supposed to have fraternal twins named Emma and Danielle, the latter of the two being Ladybug. They had another two children; twenty-three year old Hugo, and their twelve-year-old Louis.

Kara didn’t exist either. Originally, she would have been a boy named Peter, but that got changed around as I wanted to go for a more unique next-generation plotline. Kailie was going to have been named Caitlin.

Vivienne was going to be Chloe and Nathaniel’s daughter, and she was going through a hard time with her parents’ divorce because Chloe cheated with Kim.

Luka would have been with Lila, and their daughter would be named Anna. Kagami’s husband was a Japanese suitor chosen by her mother who died, leaving her to raise her daughter alone. Anna and Emma were school bullies, and joined Lila as supervillains, them becoming Bluebird and Farfalla.

There was a plot where Lila would have taken the Fox Miraculous and became Scarlet Fox, head villain of Paris, but as you may have guessed from the actual story concept that I went through with, the name was changed slightly to Scarlett Fox and made a superhero identity.

Kimiko went through a hard time due to Kagami turning into her own mother, feeling trapped in and stressed from her mother’s orders. She soon enough runs away, and lives on the streets for a little while until Peter’s older sister Mars finds her and takes her in.

Rose and Juleka’s daughter Daisy, helping her cousin Anna out, steals the Miracle Box from Master Fu and assembles a team of villains with the remaining Miraculouses.

Now, onto the current concept in the fic itself:

Maddie (Adrienette child), Kara (DJWifi), and Lilli were the final group of three, as opposed to Peter, Danielle and Kimiko, whom along with the original darker concept were scrapped as a whole, obviously.

Emma, instead of being Danielle’s sixteen-year-old twin, is thirteen years old. She’s much kinder and well-reasoned, along with more friendly and sociable as she helps her BFF, Kara’s thirteen-year-old sister Kailie in her journey of showing she isn’t all of the rough ‘n tough tomboy act she seems. When Kayla (Max and Alix’s 13yo) moves to Paris and joins the school and Harmony (Myvan 13yo) gets away from her private school, she helps them gain more friends than expected and makes them part of her ‘pack’. She’s also much more ambitious and energetic, and participates in much more than original!Emma did.

Rebecca, Chloe and Kim’s fifteen-year-old, has been through a lot: Experiencing extreme biphobia from her ‘friend’ and more-so enemy Brooke Anciel, Lila’s younger daughter with Marc, facing scrutiny from her soccer team, and her reputation in theater, fashion and drama clubs along with being constantly humiliated in the hotel’s restaurant has really lowered her self-esteem. But with her friends Vivienne and Jade by her side, along with Jade’s cousin Viveka, she slowly finds her way back to earth. Putting her not-so nice past behind her, she doesn’t try to fix her mistakes, but live with them and strive to be better for everyone: Her family, her friends, and most importantly, the entire city of Paris.

Viveka and Maddie used to be attached at the hip, but ever since Viveka started showing her care and appreciation for Rebecca in her hard time, Maddie’s started considering her as a traitor more than an older-sister figure. Viveka explains to Lilli that she still cares for both her sister and Maddie, but that Rebecca very well needs someone like her as a source of comfort in the time being. Viveka’s main struggles in life center around two things: The media refusing to believe she’s bisexual after stating her crush on Aurore and Mireille’s oldest child Andrew, and her going away to college in England soon once her final school year comes to a close. Considering they both have their own trials over their sexualities, Rebecca and Viveka find each other bonding over the subject in question.

Jade, out of all the children in the Couffaine family, has several things on her name: Being the smartest kid in her entire school, a prodigy in the violin, and a regional champion in archery, gymnastics, and karate. But as her dream as a child to go to the Tsukiryu Boarding High School for girls in Japan changes from an old fantasy into a sudden possibility, she learns that sometimes, sacrifices make or break a person. But thankfully enough, her cousin’s crush’s sister/her longtime best friend/wingwoman’s presence alongside her is just enough to break through her trials and errors that come her way in high school. Not to mention, despite her straightforward and strong-willed exterior, it would shatter her heart into a billion pieces if it meant leaving her seven-year-old sister Violet, who’s also one of her best friends in the universe behind.

Vivienne has a whirlwind coming her way too: Just as she’s began growing closer to her mother Sabrina’s new partner Wayhem, they suddenly split without her knowing a single piece of information on what happens. Not to mention, her father Nathaniel’s soon-to-be marriage to his boyfriend of seven-plus years Marc is just around the corner, and she doesn’t have many positive experiences with him and Lila’s daughter Brooke much, as well her BFF Rebecca. But thankfully, Brooke’s seventeen-year-old sister Victoria completely understands her almost stepsister’s struggle, and begins to assist her as her superheroine alter-ego: Dragon Queen, ruler of elements.

The supervillain Red Robe, a vampire-obsessed malice to the Parisians is rising, along with their ruthless partner Seigneur Guepe. But as the new team of superheroes prove themselves to be even greater than any other Team Miraculous to come before them, they join forces with the cruel and insane Brooke and hand over the Raven Miraculous to her, resulting in the fifteen-year-old’s promise to help them out as Shadowetta - when the time calls, that is.

While in England, his hometown of almost thirty years now, Master Fu mysteriously regains his old memories of being the Guardian, prompting him to take Marianne back to Paris as he senses an evil force; one like never before. Taking back the Box from Marinette one night, the duo assigns a whole new team of heroes: Maddie as Ladybug, Emma as Kitty Noire, Kara as Scarlett Fox, Kailie as Shellie, Rebecca as Queen Bee, Vivienne as Wingwoman, and last but not least, Jade as Tropica. But just in case they’re needed, he also prompts Victoria and a boy born of a rich family, Hugo DuValle to become Dragon Queen and King Cobra.

Kara’s dream after so long is to become a famous TV star, and a contest starting at the second week of school gives her a perfect opportunity to launch the new kids’ hit of Paris: Codename: Scarlet Fox. But along with some opportunities to flee to the West End and become a theatrical star with her friend-rival Viveka, Kara discovers how much being Scarlett Fox really means to her, as well the presences of her friends, family, and boyfriend.

Maddie’s dreams of ballet lead to many things, one being the welcoming a new ally, the seventeen-year-old friend to Viveka and Victoria, Maisie Bruel aka Sourisine to Team Miraculous and the other a way to be recognized for not just her parents’ status and her looks.

Vivienne also gains an opportunity after her group and Maddie’s group make up for everything and become friendly with one another: Working as a mentor for Ladybug Style, Marinette’s multi-million fashion company. There, she learns how to gain the confidence she needs and learns important lessons from the older woman, growing into the butterfly she saves the day as.

Hugo and Maddie build a deep and caring bond, soon enough sneaking out to meet each other on Friday and Saturday nights and going on dates with each other and starting a romantic relationship. But as she discovers the shocking identities of Seigneur Guepe and Red Robe, will she put the safety of the ones she cares about and her home first, or her feelings for her handsome partner in a snake suit?

Emma, confused and frustrated with her fruitless and overwhelming civilian life, develops a crush on Rebecca around Christmastime, the person she’d least have expected to fall for. In a forced attempt to hide her sexuality from those around her, she begins a fake relationship with her childhood rival Simon, but soon enough realizes that it’s even more toxic for her as opposed to revealing herself as a lesbian.

Kailie meets her parents’ old friend since forever, Alix, and shares her sky-high dreams of becoming an all-star roller-skater much like she is. And when Alix says that she ‘has her ways of helping dreams come true’, she really does mean it well.

Brooke’s ways of wrongdoing step up to another level, resulting in an absolute pandemonium of hell for those that know her. And soon enough, that results in the terrorizing villain counterparts of all the heroes but Ladybug: Featherbird, Monarque, Honeybee, Tortureoise, Fireheart, Wolfie Noire, Ryusenshi, Hydre and more.

As the chaotic demeanor[s] or Red Robe and Seigneur Guepe level up and make Paris head into insanity, Maddie runs to Masters Fu and Marianne in need of one of the most helpful Miraculouses for a trail such as this: The Rabbit, letting the spunky and helpful Kayla Kante become Timekeeper. But will her ability to see the future from the present show a successful or drastic outcome for Team Miraculous?

@extremely-pearlmethirsty since you need name inspo for your own next-gen (not for this fandom lmao), here’s some fun facts from my original concept that you can feel free to use! For those interested, character bios are coming out tomorrow.

And @ultranimallover33 it isn’t character bios, but here’s some of what happens! I’m not even done with chapter three lmao, but I have so much in store for it already tbh XD.

Ask me questions about my next gen and more!

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shidoukanae · 6 years

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Ryoken Kogami/Revolver Character Analysis (Part 1)

Let me preface this by saying that, truly, I despise Ryoken’s character. I hold a variety of reasons why I hate him (and let’s just say that the fandom does not help) but for the sake of this analysis, I’m going to ignore my bias as much as I can. The fandom constantly pushes Ryoken as such a great and majestic character that I can’t help but think it must be true, if only to some degree. So, for the sake of sating my own curiosity, I’m going to go through literally every episode with Ryoken ever in order to try and piece together what makes him such a beloved and idolized character in this fandom.

This includes extensively and exhaustingly peeking through canon and critiquing what is said, and what is not said, what works, and what doesn’t about Ryoken’s character. In order to achieve this, I’m going to painstakingly write this analysis first as an episode by episode critique of Ryoken’s character (and its build-up) and then, afterwards, I’m going to piece together the pieces to summarize what is, objectively, the outcome of Ryoken’s character. My goal in this is not to appease any one side of the fandom (whether one loves Ryoken or hates him) but to sincerely discover what the VRAINS canon defines his character as and whether or not he’s as great as the fandom suggests he is.

So, that all said, let’s start with episode 1:

Episode 1 literally starts with Revolver’s (Ryoken’s, same diff) introduction. And, I must say, this introduction is done spectacularly. It’s a bit confusing the first time around, but it works. We see from the beginning what Revolver wants in life – the Cyberse and, therefore, the Ignises, gone from the world. Already, we start his character strong: he has a motive which he wants to fulfill and is working to succeed in his goals.

And, when Ai escapes, he continues to pursue those goals by persistently insisting on the destruction of the last Ignis. If Revolver lacked in determination, he wouldn’t have bothered to send his “army” off to kill the Ignis. Revolver shows no mercy to his opponents, and that is already highlighted here within the very first minutes of the show.

Now, moving on, the next scene that Ryoken shares some importance in is with Spectre a couple more minutes into the episode. There’s been a time skip, obviously, but, even so, Revolver’s mission hasn’t changed: he wants the Ignises. Why, for now, is unclear but that’s not the point of this scene. The point, rather, is to establish a variety of things:

For one, that Revolver has a relationship with a man (ok well boy) named “Spectre”. For another, Revolver is doggedly tracking down the Ignis and yet has failed for a time frame of 5 years. That’s a long time to have made not any progress in and it’s almost....unimpressive even. For Revolver, I mean. Because, after all, Revolver is leader of the Knights of Hanoi, an already-established terrifying hacker group. And, even then, it’s him (+ Spectre and the Hanoi Family and Kogami and the Knights of Hanoi) against one Ignis – how has Ai managed to survive one year much less five?

I know the Ignises are established in canon as a super advanced race of sentient beings but…even still…I feel like Ai having been able to avoid them this long is stupendously impressive, honestly.)

But, moving on from mid-writing tangents, there’s also a third part to this second scene: Revolver’s introduction to Playmaker. Granted, it’s not in person, but it’s still very much important. Revolver is made aware of the fact that Playmaker is interfering in his business and, while it’s a reasonable nuisance to him, Revolver waives it off because Playmaker’s name means so little to him at this point.

There’s also a fourth point too, but it’s very minor here. That point being that Revolver knows of SOL and seems to detest them for reasons that, again, are not made apparent quite yet in the show.

The next scene with Revolver isn’t very important. Revolver is watching over SOL’s actions as the security scan begins and then takes action to capture the Ignis (who he believes and accurately predicts will flee). Not much to note here other than the fact that Ryoken is prepared and ready at a moment’s notice to fulfill his ambitions.

Episode 2:

“We spent years getting rid of Cyberse users...but there’s still one left?”

Users is an interesting choice of word, considering that it’s the monsters that Ryoken’s talking about, not actual duelists who use Cyberse monsters, according to later episodes. Then again, this whole sentence is worded so weirdly I can’t make heads or tails of it considering what we know about how the Cyberses were created. Maybe this was an earlier idea that was scrapped? Or, perhaps, it’s just an awkwardly translated/phrased sentence considering what we know 40+ episodes later.

[Context here since this is relevant to a much later episode: The Ignises created the Cyberse monsters. It was never stated that these monsters were given to anyone else (nor explained how Playmaker himself got his cards). However, somehow both Takeru and Bowman have them. The latter likely does because of Hal and the stealing of the Ignises technology after the destruction of the Cyverse. The former you can say because he’s one of the Six Kids and it’s to be expected at this point, I guess. However, if the Lost Kids have Cyberse monsters and are therefore “users”...how is Takeru a Cyberse user if there’s only one left (aka Playmaker)? Did he somehow get under the radar this entire time? I have questions, show.]

Surprisingly, this is the only scene Revolver shows up in (unless I skipped something? I never once heard Revolver’s voice after this and I didn’t see him either so idk). It’s not much, but it does explain some things, however confusing this sentence is.

For one: Revolver does not want the Cyberse type to exist and apparently has eliminated any that do exist to the point that is surprised that there is “still one left”. Talk about going to the furthest extent to reach your goals, geez. If anything, this shows even more that Revolver is dogged about tracking down his prey, doing as much as possible to eliminate those who stand with the Ignises and in his way...

Episode 3:

There’s two parts to this episode involving Revolver, but the first one is obvious: Revolver sensing the Ignises presence from within the Link VRAINS world.

Now, I’ll admit, this scene is very well done and just…eerie. You have Yusaku and Shoichi freaking out as the world “glitches” and then Ryoken flies into view on his ace monster, red eventually painting the background as he looks menacingly into the camera.

I have many questions on how exactly Revolver knew that the Ignis was around that exact location. I don’t recall canon ever giving a proper explanation for this scene (except for “Link Sense” on Yusaku’s side and a lost “connection” on Ryoken’s side) but, given Revolver’s lack of a special sixth sense, I’m going to say that Ai’s malfunctioning led to some sort of signal flare that led Ryoken directly to the same area as Yusaku. How this works, I have no fucking clue. Perhaps Link VRAINS overlaps Den City somehow and, when these two things “merge”, a signal given off in the real world can be usurped and expressed in the digital world as well? I don’t know, and I doubt canon will ever explain, either.

Moving on, we’re introduced officially to Revolver as the Leader of the Knights of Hanoi. This does little except to confirm earlier suspicions that Revolver is, indeed, the commander of the Knights of Hanoi. Please, please, please keep this fact in mind because I know for a fact it’s going to be important later and impact so much of Revolver’s character.

Next scene with Revolver is more establishment. The connection to the Ignis is cut and, unable to find the thing he wants to destroy most. We see Revolver frustrated and…can I say, almost angry at himself for failing? It doesn’t come off that way directly, but that’s the general sense I’m getting from him.

Dr. Kogami is introduced next, though we know little about him at the moment. Revolver inquires to him about a “new project”, to which Dr. Kogami explains he needs more time. It can be speculated that this project is likely the Cage of Fire card seen later on in the show, though tbh the project really doesn’t feel much important here except as foreshadowing for later on.

“I don’t think they’re capable of analyzing the Ignis. But I don’t want to give them too much time.”

“I know. If you can draw out Playmaker, you’re certainly capable of defeating him.”

Then, there’s also an interesting back and forth between Revolver and Dr. Kogami. Revolver doesn’t want Playmaker to discover the Ignises’ secrets, so he wants to defeat Playmaker as soon as possible. In other words, Revolver wants to rush his way to the Ignis, seeing Playmaker as an obstacle he must defeat in order to reach his goal.

Cont. on from above:

[Alarm bell rings]

“I’ll leave now.” -Revolver

“Thank you.” -Kogami

[Transitions to Ryoken. Ryoken approaches his father and holds his hand]

“I promise to fulfill my father’s wishes.”

In hindsight, this is actually powerful. At the time, most of the fandom didn’t associate Dr. Kogami with the man in the bed. Now, however, there’s something almost bittersweet about this scene. Ryoken is showing his dedication to his father by attending to him in the real world, keeping him alive while promising to help aid his father’s wishes into fruition.

There’s also almost a kind of respect between the father and son with the first part of the exchange. Kogami depends on Revolver to keep his body alive and healthy, but he doesn’t at all force Revolver to attend to him. Instead, Revolver seems to take initiative, having an alarm system set in place that warns him of his father’s condition. And, when Revolver takes his leave, Kogami thanks him not as if it’s expected of Ryoken, but almost as if he felt Revolver was doing it of his own free will and that Kogami should show his thanks to Ryoken even despite the father-son boundary.

There’s nothing bad or abusive or inherently evil about Revolver’s and Kogami’s interactions. Instead, it seems like an odd and awkward balance. Dr. Kogami is Revolver’s father, a figure of power in Revolver’s, and yet we’re shown that he’s dependent on Revolver, needing him in the real world to keep his body and mind in-tact. On Revolver’s side, we see a wish to help his father, a desperate need to do his best to give his father piece of mind. They are also very much on the same page, referring to a “project” that Revolver is not kept away from and from which Dr. Kogami doesn’t try to hide from him.

I got the feeling that, in a way, both of Kogami and Revolver are on equal terms, both trying to reach the same goal but only in the ways that they themselves can do it in. Kogami is a mass of virtual bits and pieces so, naturally, he knows how to use Link VRAINS to his advantage as a hacker. Revolver is the leader of the Knights of Hanoi, a terrorist group so, naturally, he can use his numbers to help him find Playmaker and weed the man out. It’s a very interesting dynamic that I wish, in hindsight, was explored a little bit more because it certainly seems like this dynamic could have proved very interesting had we seen it more fleshed out.

[Ahhh, update on this. Apparently, it’s expected in Eastern culture for family members to take care of each other when they’re ailing. Therefore, it’s actually more believable for Kogami to expect Revolver to care of him. It doesn’t mean that Revolver isn’t still taking care of Kogami out of his own free will, but it’s definitely also a cultural aspect I was unaware of. Thanks to @haawkgirl for pointing this out to me!)

Episode 1-3 conclusion:

Is it too late to say that I really like how the show reveals Ryoken within the first 3 set of episodes? I actually don’t despise him at all here and still can’t despise him here despite loathing his character. He’s set up really well as this mysterious yet sympathetic villain and it’s such a great depiction. I can see why people like him from these episodes alone and can agree with the sentiment that he’s a Very Intriguing character at this stage in time.

However, that said, episodes 1-3 are the only episodes that ever made a strong impact on me in terms of Revolver’s character. Moving on from these episodes, I can’t guarantee that I’ll think any highly of him from here on out. My goal is to remain unbiased as I continue this analysis, but that won’t stop me from pointing out flaws, virtues, and what could have, perhaps, been done better.

Next up: Episodes 6-8

#vrains #yugioh vrains #Ryoken Kogami #Revolver #Playmaker #Yusaku Fujiki #Dr. Kogami #Kiyoshi Kogami #Ai #Spectre #character analysis #oh boi if you think this is long just wait #there is so much more and this is honestly the shortest section of this analysis so far #I Am Dedicated to seeing why people love Revolver so much as the fan favorite character #Very Dedicated

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floatingpetals · 6 years

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It was Always Him

Pairings: Thor x Male!Reader

Warnings: None really. Some mentions of blood, inured character, bit of fluff

Word Count: 740+

Request: “Could u write sometging for thor realising he fell for male reader because im gay for thor” –Anon

A/N: Alright, so I have no idea how long this has been sitting in my inbox, but I’ve been struggling with this one for A LONG TIME. Seriously, it took me forever to get this done. Mainly because I don’t know the character Thor all that well, and wanted to do him some justice. This is my first Thor fic and I think I had three or four different plot lines that I scrapped before going with this one. I am so sorry that it took me so long, and thank you so much for being incredibly patient with me! I try not to take so long on requests, and I’m so sorry that it happened. I hope you enjoy, Anon!

The gif is not mine, credit to the creators.

Battle raged around him, aliens and humans fighting for survival. Thor struggled to hold his ground, shooting of more bolts of lighting and bashing in a head of an alien that advanced to closely. There were so many. It was never ending. Where these aliens came from, Thor could only guess. He just hoped they stopped soon. Thor let out a cry, once again striking down another. He heaved in air, pulling the lighting from the sky and channeling it through the aliens surrounding him. It gave him enough time to look around the area, to see where everyone else was.

Steve and Bucky fought side by side, they two struggling the vast number of aliens. Natasha and Clint had a high ground and were trying to keep as many away from them as possible. Tony was flying around keeping any stragglers from living the battle. Everyone looked to be the same level of exhaustion, all wanting this to end. But one head Thor could see caused his stomach to drop.

“Where is Y/N?” He shouted. Everyone winced at his volume in their ear pieces. Steve shot him a glare that quickly morphed into fear.

“Shit. He was right here!” He flung his shield, clearing a small path through the hoard. “Tony! Do you have eyes on Y/N?!”

Tony whizzed past Thor, already searching for their missing member.

“I don’t see him-“ A beep in his helmet stopped him midsentence. “Wait! I’ve found him.”

Tony landed beside the man, gently turning his body over. He gasped, but gave no detail on what he say. Not one to sit and wait, Thor spun his hammer and launched in the air to land beside Tony. Tony’s helmet popped open, and Thor froze at the horror on his friend’s face.

No, it couldn’t be. Not him. Not Y/N.

Quickly moving to Y/N side, Thor cupped the man’s cheek. His breath was shallow, a large gash on the side of his face painted his skin red. He was almost cold to the touch, and Thor knew he had lost too much blood.

Thor begged Y/N to wake up, that he would be alight. They just needed to get him to a doctor. Y/N had to hang in there. Thor barked an order to Tony over his shoulder, to get a medic or extraction team in now. Distant thunder rumbled on the battle field, growing louder with each passing second. Tony nodded and quickly stood to defend them after relaying the command. The alien’s numbers were decreasing. There was a light to the end of the tunnel for the battle. If only Thor could see it for Y/N.

Thor had always thought highly of Y/N, he preferred the man’s presence the most of all the Avengers. They had grown incredibly close, Y/N taught him all the ins and outs to Earth. He was kind and understating, all while keeping up with Thor’s banter. Thor never felt out of his element around Y/N. He wasn’t expected to be a God when around him. He was treated like an equal. Thor didn’t need to be the son of a king, he didn’t have duties to tend to. With Y/n, he was free.

As a jet arrived to and Thor quickly loaded Y/N’s limp body onto the gurney. Once Y/N was settled and hooked up to a machine, Thor gripped the smaller man’s hand in his large ones. It struck him that moment, like a freight train slammed into his chest, how right the touch felt. His brain froze, but his heart raced. Thor had felt something was missing every time he left the compound to Asgard. It wasn’t until he returned, until he was beside Y/N, that he felt at peace once more. It finally dawned on him. Why his heart pounded in his chest when Y/N would smile his way, or why he couldn’t keep his eyes off the man from across the room. Thor couldn’t get enough of him. He was draw to Y/N. It all made sense to him now. It was Y/N. It had always been Y/N. He was in love with Y/N.

He set his jaw, and gently kissed the back of Y/N’s hand. Y/N heart was steady now, the blood bringing him back from the brink of death. He was going to make it, Thor was certain. He had to. Thor was not going to let him slip through his fingers again.

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#thor #thor imagine #thor x reader #thor x male reader #reader insert #marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic #tony stark #bit of angst #fluff #fanfiction #fanfic #It was always you #anon request

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voidbeantm · 6 years

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the post-concert sadness is intense this time round and i really didn't feel like dumping this on twitter or any of my friends so it's going here ignore me just let me ramble

i really dont know what it is about concerts that leave so many people with post-concert sadness. it's so common and yet it's really hard to pinpoint a main cause.

part of it has to be the crash that comes when the post-concert euphoria wears off. it's like caffeine. the buzz is incredible but the crash is extremely draining.

maybe it's the fact that ive spent so long looking at these people and these performances through a small screen. as much as i talk about how important it is to conceptualise and treat celebrities like real people, the fact of the matter is that no matter what, celebrities never really seem like "real people". yes, they're real people but they're essentially strangers. and when you spend most of your time observing them through a screen, your brain starts feeling about them the same way it feels about fictional characters you really really like. they're real but you never really expect to see them with your own two eyes, walking and talking in front of you. there's a disconnect between how you feel and what you know rationally. suddenly, it hits you that these people are real and right there, being completely incredible. every frustrating facial expression, every surprising and dangerous dance move, every tiny moment of friendship and banter, it's real, they're doing it right in front of your eyes.

maybe it's the fact that for the first time ever, im not alone during a concert and suddenly, my anxieties leave me completely and allow me to completely let loose instead of holding back just a smidge like i always have. ive seen them twice before this but none of them were the korean concerts and ive always been alone and ive never gone this wild before. it's freeing and euphoric and we refer again to what i said about euphoria crash.

maybe it's seeing them in their most natural comfortable state relative to being onstage. the two times i saw them previously were in singapore and malaysia. it's evident that they're much more comfortable in their homeland. which, by the way, completely understandable!! for one, there's no language barrier in the way and they're free to express themselves fully without having to pause for the translator which, no matter what, will always distrupt the natural flow of banter. there's the fact that the concert hall is so so so much bigger. there's the fact that the crowd at home probably just feels familiar and comfortable. vixx and kstarlights have such a close rapport that they rarely have to guess how the crowd will react to the things they say or do. with foreign crowds that you dont perform to as often, every single time it's a gamble. there's a much bigger pressure to impress and do as well as possible to leave a lasting impression in order to grow your audience there. i dont know the right words to describe it but there was just something different about seeing them this time. they were so open and comfortable. maybe what i said about finally having friends to share this experience with earlier applies here as well in a way. when i was alone, it wasnt like i enjoyed them any less, i just felt a tiny bit less free to let loose. in the company of familiar and comfortable people, i was finally able to. it could possibly be the same for them as well.

on my end there was the whole business of sitting so far away that i watched the whole thing through either my binoculars or the display screen. i always forget that im not able to pause a real life performance and go back to rewatch parts i might have missed. during concerts, it's do or die. if you miss it, you miss it. i haven't had the chance to check fanaccounts or fancams in detail on twitter but even a brief glace told me that i most definitely missed quite a few bits. and with the amount rewinding i freely admit to doing, it's not a surprise how much i hate missing out on things.

related to the above, im actually not sure how much of me missing out was actually just me being unable to remember most of anything that happens during a concert once it is over. especially when it comes to new songs. aside from a few key parts of the choreography, i barely remember what the performances for the new songs were like. i can't remember most of what happened. this always happens to me after every single concert and apparently, im not the only one. it's like there's something about the nature of a concert that exists in a time-shifted dimension. everything exists and is held in that dimension, in that moment of time alone. you're only ever able to bring scraps of it out with you. it's like trying to hold onto a dream after you've woken up. unless you write down everything right away, it's gone. but then you see a stray photo, the odd fancam, and it triggers a memory. it's almost magic. and you can't just rewatch the performances through fancams or the dvd even though you'd have a much easier time seeing everything going on but it's just different. you'd be back to seeing them on a screen again. and dreams dont work like that anyway dreams are lived once, the rest are just disjointed memories.

finally, there is just plain old missing them. i already miss them. i just got reminded once again that they're real and in front of me over a day ago and now they're back to being images on a screen. every song i hear, every video i watch just makes me remember that, at one point, they were real. and i miss them.

honestly, this it didnt really fully hit until i boarded the plane alone and set off for home. for the first time in three days, i was without friends to fill the void or the stress of travelling on a time limit to distract me. suddenly, i just felt sad and hollow and tired. on a personal level im probably also exhausted both physically and mentally from the constant travelling, especially on a time limit as well as socially from meeting "new" people and being in the presence of people in general for a few days straight. ren and natsu were incredible and so fun (i will not ever get over what it's like to hang out with actual starlights ever) but you know how it is with introversion. even when you with people you want to be with, your energy will deplete. my brain is telling me it's going to clock out for a good few days before its ready to come back again

i dont have a satisfying conclusion to this mess of words. i dont even know how i feel now that ive bled off all of my feelings into text. it's a mix of sadness, wistfulness, and residual awe because everything i said above as well as having to say goodbye to my friends.

i dont want this long ramble to make it seem like im not grateful for the opportunity to see them in a korean concert. i absolutely am. i will cherish this memory forever. i just. i wish i were both less and more predictable of a person. if i could i want to do it again. i want to see them in a korean concert again. but i don't know what i'll be like a year from now. what if i no longer like them? some people probably find these to be blasphemous words but im not going to lie about myself. interests change. ive gone through so many obsessions in my over two decades of life. given, this is the most involved ive ever been in an interest and the only fandom ive ever made any friends in. but what if i do stop liking them? based on available data, the average length of an obsession is about three years for me. im approaching my third year as a starlight. my projected expiry date is coming up. i dont want it to. but i dont think i can stop it if it does. i shouldn't. no one is obligated to like anything they dont want to. but i dont want to not like them anymore. i dont want to lose what ive managed to find here.

#personal #rambles #long post #i hope i formatted the read more right

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rainsonata · 6 years

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Beneath the City

Fandom/Shipping(s): Elsword, none Rating: K Word Count: 2,305

Summary: It’s already weird talking to a younger version to yourself. It’s even weirder knowing that they look up to you and Lunatic Psyker isn’t sure if he can handle that kind of pressure on him. He and Psychic Tracer search for spare machine parts when they were attacked by nasods.

Christmas present for a friend.

“Wow, an underground laboratory!”

It was a wonder it was still standing beneath Elder after scavenging it many times with his counterparts. The endless material it offered made it useful when Psyker was out of parts needed for his recent projects, which was why he was here today. Going alone wasn’t an issue, so he was surprised to learn that Psych wanted to come along with the eagerness of a puppy. This being Psych’s first time seeing it, it was natural to hear the tracer’s surprise of its existence.

As long as Psych stayed close to him, he had no issue letting his younger self follow him to what has become a glorified junk yard with punchable minions. Psyker wouldn’t have brought Psych if he thought it was too dangerous. He had faith that the tracer would know how to avoid getting hit by stronger enemies. If not...well, that was what the trip was for, a learning experience and maybe a few new battle scars to prove himself worthy.

They stayed at the entrance for easy access to an exit if security was heavier than usual. It appeared that the facility was just as quick to fix their fallen security nasods as soon as someone knocked them down. Having their power source limited to the core of the building however limited them to that area, so there was no worry on if it planned on invading the city as it did before, or at least Psyker hoped so. With precise aim, he demonstrated a Quake Buster on a security nasod that sent its wrecked limbs flying across.

“Don’t act like you can’t do that either,” Psyker said when he caught Psych gasping at his display of power. “I’ve seen you do it.”

“Yes, but your Nasod Armor enhanced it.” Psych’s chatter bounced around the confines of the laboratory. He beamed, “The way it formed around your body made you stronger and faster reflexes to hit before it sees you!”

“It’s not just the Nasod Armor.” He looked away, “It’s still not perfect.”

Not yet.

Psych’s praises turned him pink with pride, but his emotions were mixed with embarrassment when the tracer looked at him like he just dismantled one of Elysion’s highest nasods. It was already bizarre acknowledging that he could interact with a younger version of himself, although at this point, Psych’s future was likely deviating from his. No, what was strange was that for the first time, Psyker feel unsure of himself, an anomaly when he spent years knowing what kind of person he was and what he wanted.

Being with Psych made the brawler gain sudden awareness in all the things he said and did. When did he start worrying about how people viewed him? He didn’t have that sort of patience or concern when around the younger members from Elgang, was it because he was afraid of how acting around Psych would affect the tracer? It has only been a few months and Psych was already picking up his speech pattern and tried dressing like him.

“Psyker!”

Too late to rely on his reflex, he only had time to look up to see a nasod swing its bulky arms at his direction.

Getting hit by one of the smaller nasods, how pathetic. There were more of them, maybe three or four. Perhaps he gave Wally too little credit in working with nasods that he had the luck to be placed with one of his creations yet again. He never did learn his lesson about meddling with idiots, did he? He should have been able to avoid getting hit, but he was caught up in his own train of thoughts that he let his guard down. What a fool he was.

With the help of Dynamo, Psych launched himself into the air to grab him by the hand and threw him over his shoulder. Psyker grunted in surprise, but it was enough for him to do a flip in the air before landing on his own set of dynamos. Electricity charged at his fingertips when a blur of black and purple storm past him. What was Psych doing?

Psyker opened his mouth to yell at the boy for being stupid when he heard Psych cursing. The Psychic Tracer was shoved across the floor by the nasod as soon as he approached it, tears threatening to fall when he growled.

“I’ll make you regret that,” Psych bit down his lips in anger. “Eat dust!”

Activating the incomplete Nasod Armor and enveloping himself with static, Psych threw himself back at the nasods with a series of punches and kicks that barely left a dent on them. Energy blasted from the tracer’s dynamos when he saw that physical brutality didn’t work, unfazed on facing a stronger enemy. The tracer laughed when they failed to hit him with a big blast of lasers until changing their minds and setting off homing missiles. His smile wavered to an alarmed expression when Psyker had enough of this foolishness and stepped in between them to divert the nasods’ attention to himself.

His dynamos protected their user like a shield when the missiles hit Psyker, sending them spinning across the room to hit the other nasods that were unfortunate to get in the way. Hmph, that would cut some work and free scrap metal for them. Plasma surrounded him as Psyker forced the nasod into a tunnel to hold it, charging forward with punches and kicks before pulling it back and away from Psych.

While it was stunned, he turned to check on Psych and saw that the kid was had scratches and a couple of opened wounds bleeding out. This wasn’t a safe place to wrap his wounds. The nasod should be almost at its limits. He gave it a final kick from behind and watched it fall over as it exploded. He pulled Psych to the side to wrap his arms around the tracer to shield him from the explosion, letting the dust and debris hit him. They needed to leave before security decided to reassemble themselves in their presence.

They resurfaced from the underground laboratory to rest at the outskirts of Elder. Psyker let the tracer rest underneath a tree with his back leaning against the trunk with his face scrunched up from the pain.

“I’m dressing your wounds.” Psyker said with firmness that stopped Psych from arguing back.

Rubbing alcohol and bandage wraps were the first thing he searched for in his bag. He had his own fair share of injuries from fighting tougher enemies, which showed when he expertly clean and dressed Psych’s wounds without much thought. Psych said nothing when Psyker asked him for his other arm once he was done with the first one. The tracer had wounds on his legs and back too.

Why did he let Psych tag along? If he was by himself, he had only himself to blame and perhaps be angry at himself for a few scratches and bruises. Psych wasn’t like Mastermind or Esper, who had years to develop their weapons and have a better understanding on how to fight stronger enemies. Psych was weaker in comparison and had an incomplete Nasod Armor that didn’t leave beyond a scratch mark on the enemies earlier.

Because of his reckless behavior, Psych was hurt and it was his fault. The tracer should have looked up to Mastermind instead of him. At least Psych could trust Mastermind to be careful and always have his drones out to look out for potential danger. Psyker wasn’t as cautious and always rushed into battle to finish them off. It looked like Psych wasn’t so different from him and did the same, except unlike him, he couldn’t afford to do at his current experience level.

“We didn’t make it to the core.”

It was the first word that came out of Psych since they left Wally’s Underground Laboratory. The crazed look in his eyes from the fight inside the facility was gone, replaced by a somber one with the tracer straightening his back to look at Psyker.

Psyker shook his head, “No, we didn’t.”

They didn’t even pass the entrance to be greeted with more security and crossbow archers inside. Perhaps that was for the best. Even he didn’t appreciate dodging their arrows in hopes for a few scraps of metal if he was lucky.

Psyker checked to make sure he didn’t miss bandaging a spot and asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Like hell,” Psych mumbled. “It hurts when I move my arms.” He rotated his wrists and ankles to crack them, but winced when he twisted his arms to test them out.

“Then don’t,” a curt smile formed on Psyker’s lips as he chuckled. “Just focus on healing and let’s get out of here.”

Expecting Psych to protest, he wasn’t surprised when the tracer tried standing up by planting his hands into the grass to push himself up. The brawler almost yanked his arm back down until he remembered that the kid had a bandaged arm.

He blocked the tracer from moving by placing his hands back down and growled, “We’re going home. Now. We’re done today.”

“Teach me how to fight.” Psych said with pleading eyes. “I want to be strong like you.”

“No, you don’t,” Psyker scoffed.

Was failing to pull out Psych in time to avoid injuries not enough to convince the tracer to avoid becoming him? Psyker was almost frustrated how starry eyed his younger self was with him. Maybe he was exaggerating because he wasn’t used to being in the spotlight, but it made him nervous. If he failed to live up to Psych’s expectations, he wouldn’t just disappoint the tracer, but himself too.

“Nasod Armor has human limits,” the brawler said. “You have to watch what you eat and keep your body in shape, or else it will fall apart. I’ve seen you stuff your face with chocolate with Arc. If you want to live that kind of life, go ask Mastermind how to code AI.”

“I’m not going to become like that nerd, Arc.” The tracer glared at him, “I’m doing this my way.”

“Why do you want to be like me?”

Wanting to be strong… The brat really was him, Psyker closed his eyes with distress. Not only was he foolhardy, but stubborn too. If he was anything like him, he could take a gander to his reasons. After all, they were the same person, weren’t they? It was strange that he was becoming more accepting of that concept over time.

Taken back by his question, Psych wasn’t as quick to answer as before. He looked at his bandaged arms and frowned, knowing that he wasn’t going to be fighting or training for the next few days.

“You always look like you know what you’re doing,” Psych said. “Everything you do is calculated and you never doubt yourself. Your Nasod Armor still has room to improve, but it’s almost perfect. You can go anywhere you want because you have nothing to be afraid of. I want all of that.”

His answer had Psyker’s eyes widen. Was that how Psych viewed him? He was careful to paint a facade as an aggressive brawler, but was astonished to learn how efficient it was. All of that self doubt and loath for himself, it did exist, but he fought to keep it hidden away from outsiders. Never again did he want someone to see him as the weak kid who wandered Elrios aimless without a path or resolution.

“Psych,” he sighed and placed his hand on the tracer’s shoulder. “I do get scared. There are things out there that can crush us like ants, so we always have to train to get stronger. I’m still don’t know what I’m doing and neither do most of Elbrat and his friends.”

Psyker watched Psych’s shoulders slouch in learning the truth, but the other frowned, “But you’re also nice, like when you let me come with you today. Arc told me Mastermind promised to help him with his codes and Esper sometimes help Time, so I thought you could do the same.”

Now Psyker was the one speechless. It looked like he was wrong in thinking he knew everything Psych. Strength wasn’t the sole factor in having interest for him. He scratched the back of his head with embarrassment of being praised again.

“Is that so?” He saw Psych nod and mused, “I suppose a little training can’t hurt. We’ll have to work on your posture first. Those cute little punches and kicks aren’t going to work if you do that to every enemy we meet.”

“Hey!” Psych protested, but laughed when Psyker helped him up to walk.

Their trip back home was going to be a long one, but that wasn’t a bad thing. That meant more time listening in to Psych telling him the time he and the other tracers were stuck in Bethma because of the lizardmen or when he encountered the nasods in Altera. It was entertaining watching how animated the tracer was, always waving his hands back and forth as he talked.

Despite the age differences between them being a mere year apart, seeing a less experienced version of himself made him nostalgic, or maybe it was another emotion. It was an emotion he recognized between Elbrat and his sister, the redhead.

Being an only child, he always held his parents’ full attention more often than not. Now that there was someone who looked up to him and even relied on him, Psyker wondered if this was how it felt to have a little brother. They were the same person, but yet he was protective of him when he was injured as if he was a blood relative.

Huh, Psyker rubbed his forehead. How interesting.

Author Notes: Arc and Mastermind had their one to one bonding fic, so it’s time for Psych and Psyker to go on a #LifeChangingFieldTrip. I love these two nerds I want them to be happy with Psyker accepting Psych as his student, sobs.

#elsword #eltag #Add (Elsword)#mywriting #Elsword fanfiction #Psychic Tracer #Lunatic Psyker #you know what I'm posting the rest of these christmas fics #my writing #it's been a long month of updates but I hope you enjoyed reading them

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