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#actually this is what has been plagueing me the whole process of this fic lol

tixdixl · 26 days

Note

How about midnight for all 4 of your guys 👀

Thank you so much!!!

Oh this is a good one.

*cracks knuckles*

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

Oisín: This answer honestly has 2 answers, so I will break them down in a way that makes sense.

To start, Oisín would never openly admit this, but after having a chance to develop very deep and strong personal relationships, they are afraid that they might do something to accidentally push them away or they might accidentally self-sabatoge their relationships. After spending so much time isolated and alone, and spending so much time fighting for a relationship that almost destroyed itself, they don't want to make the same mistakes again. They don't want to be alone again either.

Oisín also has to contend with nightmares that strike them as odd. I've spoken a bit about this here, but it's definitely an odd sensation when you are a creature of death and yet your dreams are plagued with visions of the past, with people you knew slaughtered, and with those you love now being brutally killed in front of you.

Being a creature of the night, whenever they need to clear their head (pun intended) they often go up onto the rooves of NRC and just sit and lurk, enjoying the evening solitude.

Kingsley: During his freshman year specifically - while he would never admit it - he is afraid of disappointing his parents and the consequences of what will happen if hw doesn't achieve their approval by the time he graduates. He's been tasked with "self-improvement" to become an "heir worthy of actually ruling". This actively drives everything he does until Jack, @cyanide-latte 's Copper, and @ramshacklerumble 's Gia start breaking through that absolutely steeled shell that this starts to change. By the time he reaches sophomore, junior, and senior year, that sort of changes to being afraid of letting his friends down.

If he needs to clear his head, he often will go out and do some target practice with his axes - much to Crowley's disapproval.

Emil: So this is a whole thing that actually leads to him going into Overblot. During his freshman and sophomore year, he starts searching for a way to prolong his younger sibling's life in order to buy himself time until he can find a cure for their terminal illness. When he gets the text from his mom that Riv is practically on their deathbed, Emil spirals. He stops eating. He stops sleeping. He starts skipping classes. And spends every waking hour working on trying to create a philosopher's stone... TLDR: He's afraid of losing his sibling.

Post-Overblot though, this is actually something I am in the process of sorting out. So I will definitely come back to this.

René: They don't exactly strike me as the sort to have many anxieties? But I guess the long and short of it is that once they get the taste of freedom, they are afraid that their father will metaphorically clip their wings. They become afraid of losing the freedom to be their own person. I don't think they necessarily have nightmares over it? But it does lead to them Overblotting.

Post-Overblot though, I think they have reocurring nightmares about the Overblot fight. About hurting the people they have come to love and cherish. (I sense a fic coming from this lol)

Thanks again!

Prompt List

Tag list: @cyanide-latte @simons-twsted-children @inmateofthemind @ramshacklerumble

@elenauaurs @rainesol (lmk if you want to be added)

#twst ocs #twst #my ocs #seris talks #oc asks #Oisín Anbás #Kingsley Tyr #René Lamar #Emil Lehr

14 notes · View notes

shadowsong26x · 1 year

Text

Yes, it’s been a while, yes, I’m aware that it’s no longer 2022, but here we are, back again with the Great BSG Rewatch of 2022!

Obligatory plug for Galactica Big Bang here, since that’s a thing now XD Signups will open July 1, I’ll be posting more about it here and on the event tumblr as we get closer to that. We also have a Discord!

Anyway, that shameless self-promotion aside, we’re picking up with Season 3! This is actually my favorite season overall--despite the fact that it doesn’t include my very favorite episode(/two-parter) and does include my least favorite episode (which we’ll get to in the back half of the season) along with a couple other storylines that irk me. It feels just...IDK, even though this is the real start of the ‘writing by the seat of our pants’ problems that are a Thing in the second half of this series, and it’s not actually all that cohesive, as a season it feels weirdly cohesive? Like, thematically, and so on. And anyway I just like it.

I am splitting this up into halves, like I did with season 2, and there aren’t any Extras in this round (I should probably track down the Resistance webisodes; I know I have the Face of the Enemy stuff, but not those). So this covers everything from Occupation through The Passage.

My notes on the miniseries and Season 1 can be found here; and my notes on the first half of S2 (plus Resurrection Ship and Razor) can be found here. My notes on the rest of S2 (plus The Plan) can be found here.

As before, my notes contain spoilers because I have seen the full series before. I’ve copied over a lot of quotes I like, some with commentary, some with just Flailing. Also some plot/construction notes, and some notes to myself about The Other Battlestar (which I swear I am actually working on; although it needs a better title lol) and a couple other self-indulgent AUs/potential fic projects, which I have deleted. There might be a few I missed, though.

Also, warnings. Very Very important content warnings: genocide, suicide, intimate partner violence, torture, and sexual assault, as well as a lot of other Violence. And, because we are living in a post-COVID world, plague/pandemic stuff. The torture warnings are particularly heavy for both halves of season 3. Also, there’s quite a bit of dubcon in this first half. And a lot of fatphobia/diet culture BS. Feel free to send me an ask if you want more details.

That should cover it, so let’s get down to business to defeat the Huns wait wrong fandom. MOVING ON.

Occupation:

And the opening bit has changed! At least adding that bit with Caprica waking up and her and Boomer(?) and A Random Five coming to accept the surrender.

Kara gets the previously-on!

…which then dives Right into Creepy!Leoben because Of Course, that whole Thing.

YAY MY 2000-YEAR-OLD DYSFUNCTIONAL ROBOT DRUNKS IN LOVE

I’m sorry I can’t take the moustache seriously XD

Oh that closeup on Ellen’s ring during the flashes of her and Cavil, and cut together with building a bomb and lighting candles in a temple and. I love this arc A Whole Lot guys, there will probably be not much intelligent Commentary, mostly just Flailing.

I do like the way this bit with Ellen is shot, without showing Cavil’s face for a very long time, to let you think it’s Tigh thinking about that while he’s in lockup.

Huh, Bill still wears his wedding ring, I don’t think I’d picked up on that before.

Chief’s post-timeskip facial hair is pretty great.

Aaaaaaand now we’re up to the Creepy Dollhouse.

Lol Cavil just casually putting on his sunglasses.

Aaaaand now we can see she was screwing Cavil. Or hear, at least, the face is still unclear, but given what she says and her attitude when she climbs off…

Yay, bombs!

And this just gets Creepier and Creepier the more we learn about Cavil and the Final Five.

Lol “we gotta get you processed. Bureaucracy, you know.” Cavil just enjoys frakking with him.

Awwwww, the way they Cling to each other when he gets out.

YOU ARE SO CREEPY LEOBEN

Niiiiiice they weren’t even sharp and went all the way through his neck.

Wonder how many times she’s done this. Given how casually he says “I’ll see you soon” probably Many.

And this music as she picks up the knife and finishes her dinner with her hand still bloody and she’s very Mannerly about that part and I love it.

Ooooh, and different words!!! And no survivor count.

BABY! Oh, poor Nicky, did you get screwed over by the narrative.

134 days into the occupation.

Mars day.

Lol Cavil’s air quotes on ‘god’

D’Anna is also only halfway paying attention; hard to tell how much attention Baltar is paying until they suggest executing him. XD

And Caprica’s like “nope” “just because he’s your favorite toy.”

Oooh, and she specifically looks to D’Anna on ‘anyone who wants to challenge that [he’s with me].’ I guess they were setting that up already.

Still wish we knew whether this D’Anna was Fleet!D’Anna or Downloaded!D’Anna or both (probably not both But)

YAY MY BEST BELOVED MOST IRONICALLY NAMED MAN IN THE UNIVERSE FELIX GAETA. AND THE PUPPY!!!!!

Puppy is very very important.

Baby!!!

Nice, dug-out cellar safehouses, that’s what I thought I remembered.

Ah, the Irony XD

So, Gaeta’s been passing stuff for weeks, which seems to have started after Tigh was arrested. I wonder if he tried other things before he worked out this system, or if it just took him a couple months to figure Anything out about making contact?

And Tigh and Cavil are using very similar “send a message” rhetoric, that’s interesting.

And yeah, can’t blame Sam for taking the ‘they’re not coming for us’ attitude. And this argument between him and Saul is just. Amazing, I love it.

And Tigh’s face with “any word on Kara” I love their relationship so much.

“Hi, honey, I’m home.”

Five times, apparently!

Lol the casual way he steps over his own dead body.

And she doesn’t kill him that time, interesting.

“I’m a patient man.” “You’re not a man.” “I’m willing to wait. You just need more time.” SO FUCKING CREEPY.

“To know the face of God is to know madness.” I feel like that’s come up before and every time I hear it it’s followed up with “To love another person is to see the face of God” in my head. IDK if I’m going anywhere with that but…there it is.

“Either way you’ll be spending the night with me” FUCK. “I do love you, Kara Thrace.” Ffffffuck.

Oh man how quiet the flight deck is.

YAY KAT

THIS FUCKING SUBPLOT I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH.

Hi Hoshi!

Oh shit collision.

Dee is so pretty. And deserves so much better.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate.

“You’re weak, soft. Mentally and physically.” I HATE THIS SUBPLOT. I REALLY HATE IT.

Not Lee and Bill fighting, that’s whatever. The Fat!Lee subplot, it is every kind of. Fuck it. Just fuck it. I hate it so much I can’t even words.

Playing pyramid while planning a suicide bombing yay.

“Not the first time we’ve sent a soldier on a one-way mission.”

“Some things you don’t do, even in war.” “Maybe you’ll feel different when it’s you sitting in detention.”

And Bill and Athena, yay!!! I still like my headcanon for why her hair is the same exact length as her sisters here XD

“I don’t do guilt,” he lied, like a liar.

“I sat here consumed with rage at all the things that had happened to me. And at some point I realized it was just guilt.” And she does call her betrayal what it is. And talks about choosing to forgive herself and move forward.

This is interesting, I’d kind of like to watch this scene back to back with that one bit with Dee during the Kobol arc.

Dee is so irritated right now and I kind of want to fast forward past this entire scene except I’m Committed to a full rewatch and if I didn’t fast forward through some of the earlier bits like in Six Degrees or Captain’s Hand I’m not gonna skip this. Also Dee’s face is pretty.

“You lost your war. And you’re a soldier who needs a war.” Interesting.

…and that was slightly Awkward exposition “that’s one of the reasons I married you.”

If they had Felix on the ground with them they’d probably have more luck with the comms.

And yep, there is a Raptor because of course there is.

YAY CONTACT!

Her face when they make contact!!!!

Have hope. We’re coming for you.

<33333333333

Tory is also Very Pretty.

I am…actually not surprised that there are 200 people. There were always going to be the Majority of people, who keep their heads down and just try to survive, low-level cooperation as necessary, and then the people on the outer extremes of either Resistance or Collaboration. And there are always going to be enough people on that Collaboration fringe. And they’ll have a lot of reasons for it, it’ll vary from person to person, but…it’ll always happen.

Ohhhhhh this prayer. Even without watching Resistance and getting to know this guy it’s. It’s a Lot.

And Baltar decides at the last minute not to go to the ceremony.

Felix’s hair is so Floofy I love it.

As he BOLTS to the dead drop location.

Tigh makes a very good tactical point. But does allow for the strike to be aborted if Baltar isn’t going to be there but Chief doesn’t get the message in time and…yeah.

He checks the bowl a Minute too early if he’d been just a Minute later…

“They call this a suicide vest, but I think that really underplays the homicide involved.”

OH THAT SHOT WITH THE CRACKED MIRROR

Don’t look suspicious don’t look suspicious

Centurion jumpscare! But then it turns away and lets him pass.

BOOM

Precipice:

Bill gets the previously on, I think!

Subtitles that was not Starbuck

Yessssss prison conversation!!!!! I love the scenes with the two of them talking when one of them’s in prison. They’re just. Some of the best.

(Yeah, no real comments I just. I just love scenes like this with Laura and Gaius.)

“Their only crime was putting on a uniform.” I think it’s this episode or maybe it’s the next one where Bill has a really great line about the importance of symbols/uniforms and just. PARALLELS I LOVE IT.

Well that’s almost certainly not Philosopher!Cavil but he did steal his hat!

“Which side are we on? We’re on the side of the demons, Chief. We’re evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spend devastation and destruction wherever we go. I’m surprised you didn’t know that.” I LOVE THAT LINE SO MUCH.

I also love how, whatever other shortages there might be, they Never run out of cigarettes XD

1150 armed effectives, nice to have numbers!

“Eventually, your people will see you as heroes.” “Not tonight."

Oh right Cally got taken I forgot that.

Poor Nicky. Poor poor Nicky.

Oh man especially after “one of these days you’re just not going to come home” she said in the last episode and oh maaaaaaan.

I do like the Bright Colored Coats in that shot of the marketplace.

Yeah, destroying the launch keys would cause more problems than it solved.

And Lee’s not wrong about the weapons drop.

“Detention is run by a separate ministry.” “How do you do it? How do you help them day after day? How do you look yourself in the mirror?" And Gaeta just. Trying to keep his cover. But he promises to do what he can to find out. “Why don’t you try and do something?” He is. But he cannot say it. Especially not where they might be overheard.

And Jammer is having Emotions.

“I bet they’re in over their heads. At first I bet they thought they were doing something good at first. Get the Cylons off the streets.” “Then they were frakking idiots. What did they expect? …you know any names?” “…no.”

“One day when this is all over, guys like Gaeta are gonna get strung up. And guys like you and me are gonna be there tying the knots.” Knowing how Collaborators actually goes, and how Chief handles things in there…MAN.

AND THE CREEPY THING WITH THE TODDLER LEOBEN YOU’RE A CREEPER JUST STOP.

“I remember I blew the crap out of that place.” “It wasn’t a total loss. We were able to salvage certain things. Like your ovary.” CREEP. ER.

She is a very cute little girl, though.

“What’s that?” Lol.

Ohh, that little half-smile as he carries her down the stairs.

YAY COMMISSIONING ATHENA TO SEND HER AS A LIAISON!!!

Okay, 2000 civilians with the battlestars yay numbers.

Oh and that reference to the Centurions being carefully restrained.

“If we go back to New Caprica now, and we lose, then humanity just stops. And admiral stars don’t give you the right to make that gamble.”

And that’s why Bill splits Lee and Pegasus off as a failsafe. “I know why we left those people behind. And I know it was their choice to be down there. And I realize the survival of the human race outweighs everything else. But this time, I can’t live with it.” Yesssssss

And they hug. But they don’t get their music this time.

Leoben is still fucking creepy talking about their fake baby’s future.

No, Starbuck’s not gonna let the little girl starve but. Man.

And this conversation about suicide bombings I love it. I love Laura and I love Saul and just. Love all of this.

Yeah, Saul, you deserved that. And Sam’s face in the background like “oooooh shit”

“Sometimes I think that you’ve got ice water in those veins and other times I think you’re just a naïve little schoolteacher. I’ve sent men on suicide missions in two wars now. And let me tell you something. It don’t make a godsdamned bit of difference if they whether they’re riding in a viper or walking out onto a parade ground. In the end, they’re just as dead. So take your piety and your moralizing and your high-minded principles and stick ‘em someplace safe until we’re off this rock and you’re sitting in your nice cushy chair on Colonial One again. I’ve got a war to fight.”

Tigh has the BEST LINE in this arc.

And Boomer is like “this is fucked up” and Caprica’s like “yes it is but how else to we respond to suicide bombings”

And Boomer is having Emotions!

(Lol Kacey’s mom is going to get one foulmouthed toddler back XD)

And Boomer goes to see Cally! Who was the cause of her (first?) death!

“I want you and Galen to know that I’m happy for you, especially since you started a family. Something he and I talked about before.” “Can you get me out of here?” “I don’t know. I have nothing to do with internal security—” “Then frak off you stupid frakked up toaster. How many times do I have to shoot you anyway? If you can’t help me, then just go away and leave us alone!”

EMOTIONS

Oh man this scene.

Power substation is crippled, two weeks to repair.

Just this pan around the circle of Cylons.

Caprica’s face oh man.

And he looks to her for help and she tries to defend him and.

“The first act of Cylon on Cylon violence” lol no.

“Everything we do requires your signature.”

“They’re covering their existential asses.” LOL.

“Then we’ll find another President.”

So this is…probably the first time Caprica has been killed in front of him to make a point But.

And the other Sixes’ faces.

“She’ll be back.” “But if he pulls that trigger now you won’t.”

Oh man and the change of lighting when we switch to Head!Six.

Interesting implication that she hasn’t been around and turns up after Caprica gets shot and then. And then he looks down and he’s already signed, and they’re just. Lined up staring at him. And that one Five is a little out of breath.

And we get a closeup on Boomer’s face and. Oh man.

YAY SHARON AGATHON

Helo is so haaaaaaappy

Aww, their little smiles as they walk away holding hands.

“Looks good on you. Belongs on you.” Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

“Can I ask you a question? How do you know? How do you know that you can trust me?” “I don’t. That’s what trust is. Good hunting, Lieutenant.”

Oh man Ellen’s faaaaaaace. And then Cavil asks about Saul and she freezes. And he’s asking for intel about the insurgency.

“We know he’s their leader. Why do you think we let him out of detention?” “I thought it was because of the twist.” “Well, yes, that too, for sure.”

“I want a specific place and a specific time of a very high-level meeting of the insurgency. If I don’t get it, we’ll pick up Saul again. And this time, he’ll lose more than an eye.”

And Saul’s reaction to hearing about Athena’s commission.

And Sam has the map for the meet! And hides it away when there’s a knock but pulls it back out when he sees it’s Ellen and oh man.

Yep, Sam knows how this part of things works, that’s why he’s on this council with the military guys.

And she takes the map when he’s planning to burn it and. Oh man. Her Face.

“Tell me you didn’t sign it, Gaius.”

“Have you even looked at the names?” “I’VE SEEN THEM. I’ve seen them, all right? There was nothing I could do.”

“No one enjoys the thought of mortal death, Boomer. But she tried to murder you. Maybe it’s God’s justice.”

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ASSHOLE (AFFECTIONATE)

And Zarek’s been in detention the whole time because he refused to collaborate.

Aww, Sam and Athena hug!!!

“Been a long time.” “Funny, I feel like I see you every day.” And her little half-smile.

And Gaeta is trying to find Cally in one of the trucks so he can help her.

Oh man and Kara taking Leoben’s hand there because. Oh shit.

“Last year. You tried to steal the election, didn’t you?” “Yes, I did.” “I wish you’d gone through with it.” “Me, too.” And on the one hand, when the Cylons turned up there was absolutely no choice but surrender (it’s everything he did After that that’s the problem). On the other hand, if she’d won, they never would’ve settled. So no one would’ve been in that position.

…but would something similar have played out on a less shitty planet if the Cylons caught up to them there? Interesting thought experiment.

And Jammer pulls Cally out of line and she obviously thinks he’s going to do Horrible Things to her which. Yeah.

Especially when he pulls out the knife. But then he cuts the tie and tells her to run and not look back.

And now all the police flee and Cavil just sidesteps as the Centurions show up. And Tom pulls Laura back and Cally is fleeing and she hears the shots and.

I love this arc a whole lot.

Exodus 1:

Chief gets the previously-on I think.

Maya! She’s like the only Wholesome named character in the entire canon. XD

Oh that shot of the empty socket.

“I want you to know that I would do anything for you.” And she was a split second from confessing and then Chief interrupts.

And he’s shaved!

And Saul cuts through Chief’s panic. “Take four men and get there ahead of the trucks. Chief! Pull it together. You won’t do her any good if you get caught too. Besides, the last thing your son wants is me and Ellen for parents.” There are so many levels of With Context there I can’t even XD

And Chief is still flailing while he looks for the coordinate list I love him. This relationship is very fucked up but I love him.

Yay Cottle’s in this episode!!!!

And Athena had her marines positioned for cover because she is Smart and so are they.

Chief’s learned a lot about ground ops since Kobol. So has Seelix.

“Where there are skinjobs, there are bulletheads. Break out the RPG.”

…oh man, that’s a thought. Chief, Cally, and Seelix were all on Kobol together (with Baltar). And now the three of them are here at that execution site. Does it mean anything? Probably not! But it’s a Thought!

Oh man, Chief holding Cally down under cover. And Jammer took his mask off.

Aaaaaand they find the map on Cavil.

OH RIGHT I KNOW THAT GUY. I forgot he was introduced this early but he’s in the Circle, isn’t he?

“They were waiting for us. Right where we thought.” Marine is like “yep I know my business thank you for listening” and then Sam gets the map back aaaaaand realizes Ellen sold them out and. Oh boy.

“Been a while since I had a woman throw me to the ground. Not quite as much fun as I remember.” LOL.

And Seelix makes sure the gun is out of range so Cavil will die slow.

And now Whichever D’Anna This Is is having Visions! I do love the really cool greyed-out lighting effects for this whole thing. And she sees the bodies, and hears Hera crying and sees herself picking the baby up.

“It doesn’t matter to me, really.” “You can stop that right now. My ego’s not so fragile as all of that.” Lol I forgot that bit was in there. “These things happen. Or they don’t happen.”

Okay Doral is not Entirely wrong about the importance of sanitation (and also that ‘lack of toilet paper’ comment hits a little different post-COVID lol)

“Four months of this, Gaius. Four months of watching you slip further and further down into this well of self-hatred and loathing. Do you know what I’ve given up for you? Do you?” “Do you know, what with the occupation and everything. I really can’t say I’ve given it that much thought recently.”

And this is why I headcanon that they actually don’t talk that much during this period. Not about anything serious or real. Except when he lashes out like this. They don’t talk about what they did. What they’re doing. It came up in a fic I wrote ages ago (which probably should’ve been two fics, it was two conversations) but like…yeah.

And then he says “Don’t go. …please.” And she watches him drink, and she does come back. Because they do love each other, even if there are these hollow places between them, these things they can’t say. (I do ship them very much; I do love their ending together; and I have…many more things to say about this period in their relationship but that is not the purpose of these notes lol.)

And that is actually Good Parenting, to apologize to the little girl and say it was because “I was upset with myself, not with you. Grown-ups do stupid things sometimes.” I love Kara a whole lot.

And Kacey grabbing her finger as she turns to leave and FEELINGS.

And Leoben is watching them.

D’Anna going through the city, seeing little flashes from her vision/nightmare…

[yeah there are reasons she’s another one I headcanon as force-sensitive for crossover purposes darth lawless is a cylon]

“Don’t be afraid, I know who you are, what you are. Poor thing. You must be terrified.”

“Zeus sees all. Sees you, Number Three. Sees your pain, your destiny. All the gods weep for you.” Oooooooooooh.

“There’s no Zeus. No other god but God.” “You don’t believe that anymore. You don’t know what you believe, and that is why you’re here.” “Not true. I don’t even know why I’m here. Stupidest thing I ever did.”

I’m really loving this scene more than I remembered omg.

“I have a message for you, from the one you worship. He speaks through me to you, just as he does in your dreams. The message is: the fruit born of two peoples is alive. A child named after the wife and sister of the all-knowing Zeus. Hera lives.” “That’s not true. The child is dead.” “You will hold her in your arms, and you’ll know for the first time what it is to feel true love. But you’ll lose everything you’ve done here.” And D’Anna is crying. “…wish I had some chocolate caramels.”

Okay but I love this oracle I want twelve.

Aww, Dee and Helo are being cute. “Will you quite looking at me like that?” “Like what?” “Like we’re never gonna see each other again. We will.” “Take care of the Admiral?” “Take care of his son.”

And this goodbye/separation ceremony I love it so much.

Racetrack reads from the Scrolls, I think! I can’t always recognize her out of her helmet, I’ll admit…

“Always together.” And then the hugs. My heart.

AND A FISTBUMP

“If I’m not back in 18 hours, find Earth.” “Yeah, right.” “I’ll see you at the rendezvous point.” “18 hours. Try not to be late.” “I’m getting old, I’m a little slow. But I’ll be there.” AND NOW WE GET THE MUSIC AND I DON’T LIKE LEE AND. EVERY. GODDAMN. TIME.

“Don’t make me cry on my own hangar deck.” FUCK YOU I’M CRYING YOU CRY WITH ME.

PUPPY!

“You don’t care who I am, do you? All God’s creatures in your eyes.”

YAY COTTLE! “Can’t sleep?” “Bad dreams.” “Didn’t know you people had dreams.” “Sure. Everybody dreams, Doc. That human or cylon blood?” “Cylon. One of the Fives got pretty shot up today by the insurgents. But he’s gonna make it.” “You could’ve let him suffer.” “That’s not what I do.” YES I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

And now D’Anna (D’anna? Which is correct lol) turns the conversation to Hera and Cottle is like “…ah yes. That mess. Yay.”

“When that child died on Galactica, why did you cremate the body? The first cylon-human hybrid, and you threw it into the incinerator?” “It wasn’t my decision. It was the President’s call. I was just following orders.” “…that’s a very funny thing. ‘Cause this stuff all looks the same.”

…I don’t think this is the same dog that Lampkin later gets, I think he gets a yellow lab but I might be misremembering. The POINT is there are possibly TWO ENTIRE PUPPIES in the fleet.

“They left me in the hot sun with a bullet in my guts.” “What a noble race you are.” Shut up, Doral.

“Skin’s a lot tougher than you think.” Yikes. “Now that’s three for me. Three downloads. The first I just got a headache, but I could handle it. Now it’s worse and worse. This time it was like a white-hot poker through my skull. It’s not worth it. None of this is worth it.”

“He’s right, you know,” Gaius says quietly. While crying. …oooooooh. “It’s not worth it. Which is what I believe I’ve been telling you all along.” “Caprica, can you please control him?” “Why don’t you just shoot me, if that’ll remedy the situation?”

Watching Boomer in this scene, as she listens to Cavil’s story and is having Emotions and…knowing where that relationship is going (assuming this is Primary Cavil which. It’s hard to tell, but one can assume if there’s only one One in the scene it’s Probably him unless otherwise specified? Especially for Important Shit like overseeing the mass execution and these meetings.) and also her whole story arc in general. Man.

Caprica’s more ‘I don’t want to hear this but I’ll listen because I am the main reason we’re here.’

And the little glare she shoots Doral when he tells her to control Gaius.

Also the way D’anna was watching Gaius talk.

Oh, and while he was saying ‘why don’t you just shoot me’ Caprica apparently turned away, because she spins back around when Doral suggests cracking down harder.

“Consensus used to be so easy. Now look what they’ve done to us.” Oh, it’s not just this, though it definitely accelerated the fissures here. But.

“Worst comes to worst, we can always just nuke the city and be done with it.”

Aww, Athena refusing to give up her dogtags.

“Thanks for the concern. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.”

And Ellen gets dragged in and is Shocked to see Athena and. Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man That Scene is coming up and. GDI I’ve already cried once this episode.

“Where is my husband I want to speak to my husband!”

And Sam asks Athena to keep an eye out for Starbuck “I don’t know if she’s alive or dead, but it’s been four months.” “I’ll do what I can.”

“We’ll keep her on the move, along with other high-value targets. She’ll never stay in one place longer than two or three days.” I wonder who the other high-value targets are?

And Sam doesn’t know why Maya is so valuable, but he trusts Roslin and he will keep her safe. “How far do you want me to go? If it looks like the Cylons are gonna capture them…” “No. Don’t let it get to that point. That’s all.” He does asks what’s so important, and gets the “she may very well be the shape of things to come. That’s either a blessing or a curse” answer, which is vague, but enough for him to figure it out, maybe???? But he was clearly going to do it regardless of the answer, which is I think why Roslin actually let him in on the secret? That was a FASCINATING little moment omg gotta watch it again.

OH MAN ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS FLASHBACK COMES IMMEDIATELY AFTER HIS CONVERSATION WITH ATHENA AND HE KNOWS BUT. BUT BUT BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD.

…I wonder what the original purpose of this dug-out room where they’re having this conversation was. Maybe they just had the basement-type storage under several of the tents? They probably couldn’t’ve started digging them after the occupation, it would’ve drawn too much attention…

His FACE as he puts the pieces together and OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I NEVER NOTICED THAT BEFORE BUT HE KNEW SAM KNEW AND HE’S ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO’S KNOWN/WORKED WITH ATHENA THE LONGEST IN SOME WAYS SO HIS CHOICE NOT TO TELL HER IS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THIS IS BREAKING ME HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS SHIT BEFORE OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

…ahem. I’m okay. Um.

holy shit though omgomgomg

…right, back to D’anna.

She’s wandering through the city, focusing on babies…but that one’s too young to be Hera.

And now the Resistance is talking weapons.

“No Pegasus, just Galactica.” “Why?” “Don’t know, sir. Way beyond my paygrade.”

Zarek asks if they’ve rehearsed. …he’s keeping to his carefully-constructed persona here, but I imagine that if he wasn’t satisfied with what Chief et al are telling him…if anyone knows how to sow chaos, it’s him. [if I write for GBB along with running it, one of my possible ideas (since most of my Ideas are way too long lol) is to do something Zarek-focused; possibly surrounding his original arrest…]

((and there’s this sam knew sam knew sam knew in the back of my brain that I’m not gonna stop thinking for a while lol it’s like https://64.media.tumblr.com/0ac9d8e9014935480bcfb5b3e643c385/f3631f541e57a655-5c/s1280x1920/7280e89354e384b744b17c5be078c1c177d243f3.jpg ))

And Mathias is pointing out that “when there’s shooting and chaos and panic it’ll be different” and Roslin doesn’t exactly tell her she’s wrong but…like there’s nothing else we can do about it, we have to trust we’ve prepared enough and hope for the best at this point.

“I trust you because I trust him.”

And then Ellen gets brought in.

Athena walking through the town, getting Looks and a bottle thrown at her and she just. Keeps moving.

And they confront Saul and Ellen with the map and.

“He said…he said he’d kill you.” “Who said it?” “One of the Brother Cavils. I did it for you, Saul. It was all for you. I had to. I didn’t have any choice. Don’t you see that?” and their FACES oh my god my beloved dumpster fire 2000-year-old robot drunks in love I can’t take it.

And Athena just puts her hand into the datastream, no unsettling self-injury this time Thank Fuck.

Oh, nice, voice-activated storage!!!

And D’anna (or some Three) interrupts. “…my God, it’s you.” Athena pulls a gun. “You’re betraying your own people. For what?” “I’m a Colonial Officer.” “You’re not one of them.” “I gave them my word.” “That’s not what counts. It’s who you give it to.” “I’m gonna have to shoot you now.” “Hera lives.” Oh, okay, it is D’Anna. “…what?” “Your daughter Hera is alive. Your new friends tell you that?” and Athena’s face and her flashbacks and oh maaaaaan.

“They faked her death and hid her from you.” “You would say anything—” “I had dreams. I had strange dreams that made me question my faith. Made me question God. And in the dreams, there was a human oracle, so I went to see Dodona Selloi.” “I’m not going to kill you, but I’m going to wound you so you can’t warn the others.” “The oracle said that the fruit born of two peoples is still alive. That Hera lives and I would hold her in my arms and I will know true love. Put down the gun, and when I find her, you can hold her, too.” And Athena kneecaps her. “Adama wouldn’t lie to me.” “You’re wrong. YOU’RE WRONG!”

Just. Athena’s face during that whole thing.

Enough fuel to make at least one jump! And she congratulates him on his son! “What’s his name?” “Nicolas, after Cally’s grandfather.” “You remember when you helped Chief spread Hera’s ashes? You actually saw the ashes?” “Yeah, of course. Why?” “Nothing. …just make sure Cally never lets her kid out of her sight.”

EMOTIONS.

And Helo is just bursting with pride when he reports that his wife successfully got the launch keys.

And Kat is fidgeting in the rec room and Racetrack is pacing and picks up the phone when it buzzes and IT’S ON!

“You’ve heard the news. You know the mission. You should also know that there’s only way this mission ends. And that’s with the successful rescue of our people off of New Caprica. Look around you. Take a good look at the men and women that stand next to you. Remember their faces. For one day you will tell your children and your grandchildren that you served with such men and women as the universe has never seen, and together you accomplished a feat that will be told and retold down through the ages and find immortality as only the gods once knew. I’m proud to serve with you. Good hunting.” YES YES YES YES YES.

…apparently Captain Kelly was in that episode??? I always miss him, lol…

Exodus 2:

Previously on from Bill!

“I’m having trouble accepting this.” “I know but we have to push forward. Keep the fleet together. Find Earth.”

“I haven’t given up hope.” “Yes, you have. I saw the look on your face when you got back from Galactica. Like you were never going to see him again.” “Am I that easy to read?” “Just to me.”

“No matter what the cost. No matter who we leave behind.” “You can do this. You can get us there. You are the commander of this fleet, and you will guide us to safety.”

(I don’t have a lot of Thoughts on this scene because I generally don’t have a lot of thoughts on Lee, but I do get flashes of why he and Dee love each other, even if she was his second choice.)

Oh no oh no oh no.

Sam pushing at Tigh with all the reasons and he’s like “I get it, all right?” “You know what has to be done here. If you don’t want to do it, I understand. But believe me, Colonel, someone is gonna do this. Now it would be better for her sake if it was you.”

His FACE oh my god oh my god oh no my heart.

(look I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Tigh grows on me more and more with each rewatch and so this is gonna kill me I will be deceased he is now one of my favorites and he and Ellen are just. Oh my god.)

“I had to do it, Saul. I had to. It was all for you. And I want you to know that I would’ve done anything to save you.” “I know. I know. It’s all right. It’s going to be all right.” “No, you don’t understand. I got you out of detention, Saul. It was me. I got you out. I went to see them, the Cylons. Finally got to the one (One?) in charge. And I got him to notice me the way men notice me. I slept with him. And I felt like puking every time he put his filthy hands on me. But I smiled and I faked it to save you, Saul. But you listen to me. I’d do it again. Frak anybody. Do anything. Even gave ‘em the map. I didn’t want anybody to be killed.” And he holds her and she’s crying and. And his face. And. And then he gives her the poisoned cup, and she nods a little. “I could use the drink.” And the LOOK they share. And. Kate Vernon has said she knew and she’s DEFINITELY playing it that way and oh my god his face and how calm she is and. “You’ve always been there for me when I needed you. Oh, I’m exhausted. I feel like I could just curl up here. Should’ve listened to you, Saul. Should’ve stayed on Galactica.” “Don’t worry about any of that now. You just…you just go to sleep.” “I’m sleepy…”

BAWL. ING.

I don’t even care that that was Really Fast for an orally-consumed poison to work I just.

“I love you, Ellen. Do you hear me?”

((this will come up again on the algae planet arc but…like…we have these instances of someone murdering their spouse, and that’s usually a certain Thing, especially when it’s a man murdering his wife, as both cases are, especially in a show with this much intimate partner violence, and yet. AND YET. Both murders are just. EMOTIONS. FEELINGS. BAWLING. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.))

And the way he cries over her body and just. That last line of his. “I love you, Ellen. Do you hear me?”

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Gaeta is just sketching; Baltar is drunk and rambling. “And where are we now? And more to the point, where’s Laura Roslin? Where’s Tom Zarek? At large. Whereabouts unknown. Free, at any rate. Probably with Colonel Tigh. Solidifying the insurgency’s hold on the public’s imagination.” “What would you have us do, Gaius?” D’Anna asks. “Leave. Pack up your Centurions, and go. Please. Go.”

And D’anna’s like “would you really leave us alone if we did that? Or would you raise your children to continue the war? Would you tell them to tell that story to their children, and their children’s children, so that one day they could go out among the stars and hunt the Cylons once more?” “Blood for blood. It has to stop one day.”

OH SHIT. OH SHIT, I THINK HE SAYS THE SAME THING WHEN HE’S TALKING CAVIL DOWN IN DAYBREAK. “Blood for blood. It has to stop one day.”

And ALL OF THE THINGS are exploding!

((Man, the Fours generally get…not a lot to do. I think one Four has had one line in this entire arc.))

Tory coordinating the evacuation!

OF COURSE THERE ARE WEAPONS HIDDEN UNDERNEATH THE PYRAMID COURT

Sam’s running the attack on the detention center.

And the maneuver from the beginning of this arc! Only now it’s For Real. And they do pull it off yay!

And there’s chaos in the office and Caprica goes over to Gaius who is just. Slumped over in the corner. “For nothing. All for nothing.” “We’ll start over, Gaius. A new city to rise from the ashes.” “It’ll be buried. Buried like the cities of old. Consumed by the wrath of God.”

And Boomer (probably) reports that the drone thing worked and we have two battlestars in orbit! “Adama’s back.”

And Leoben hits Starbuck when she tries to overpower him/kill him again to get out the door.

“You’re coming, right?” “My ship’s up there.” “You sure have a sense of the dramatic.” LOVE IT.

“Hey, you, you were on Galactica right?” “I didn’t do anything!” LOL But also poor Jammer. ((also the Parallel to when Helo singled out Baltar in the miniseries i love it))

“All hands, brace for turbulence.”

A second line for Simon! “Where’s Galactica?”

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES DROP THE BUCKET!!!!

FIRE!!!!!!

And Chief’s FACE while he watches this happen torn between “thank fuck” and his mechanic brain SCREAMING

“Well, this oughta be different” LOL HOTDOG

Oh, there’s Kelly.

And the Backlash when Galactica jumps away!!!

And they have Explosives for the prison!

Sam finds Kara yay!

And he’s so relieved she’s breathing and he kisses her “I’m gonna get you out of here” and oh no Kacey

There are too many baseships, they can’t hold off four, they were hoping to hold them off long enough for the civilians to escape and I mean I know how this ends I’ve seen it before but just. Bill’s voice when he says “we can’t hold off four” omg

Bill is running cords and there’s a medic (I don’t think Ishay?) there. And they don’t have their jump drive. And.

“Then that’s it. It’s been an honor.”

And this MUSIC

And then SUDDEN UNEXPECTED PEGASUS

“Damn you, Lee.” “…thank you, Lee.”

Love it.

And Lee is sacrificing Pegasus, putting it right in the center of the basestar formation.

And Kara wakes up and is like “put me down!” and she kisses Sam “is it really you?” “it’s really me, come on, we have to get back to the ships.” “where’s Kacey?” “who’s Kacey?” and yep Starbuck’s running back and Sam goes after her “GODSDAMMIT KARA NO!”

A third line for Simon! “There’s a heavy raider ready to evacuate us.”

The Cylons are pulling back, D’anna says she’ll stay behind to set off the nuke.

“You should go as well, Caprica. …and you. I don’t think you’ll want to be here after we’ve gone. There’s a place for you, too.” “For me?” “You were right and we were wrong. Should be some reward for that.”

“Gaius, we should go.” “I just want to sit here and die.” “You’re gonna get your wish, Gaius.” I LOVE YOU FELIX. And I do remember this confrontation and I love it so much.

Only a few civilian ships left on the ground.

“I believed in you. I believed in the dream of New Caprica.” “Gaeta, we all did,” Caprica tries, and he turns the gun on her. “No! not him. He believed in the dream of Gaius Baltar. The good life. Booze, pills, hot and cold running interns. He led us to the Apocalypse, and I—and I—I turned out to be…” “An idealist,” Gaius says quietly. “There’s no sin in that. Everything you say about me is true. Every word. But you have to listen to me. The Cylons have a nuke in this complex. Nobody…I mean nobody is getting off this planet alive unless I stop D’anna.” “Gaius, she’ll kill you.” “Then she’ll kill me. Or it’ll be down to Mr. Gaeta. Either way, the human race dies with me. Go ahead, shoot. What are you waiting for?” and he pulls the gun up under his chin and says “please. I’m begging you, please.” And that shot of their hands together on the gun. and Felix…still an idealist. Some part of him still a little bit in love with the best parts of Gaius. Gives him the gun. “You have one chance to put things right. Do you understand me? Get the frak out of here! Stop that nuke! Go!”

And Caprica pulls him away, his eyes still locked on Gaeta and. Man that’s another one of my favorite dynamics in this series, all the things that happen between these two. ((there’s a reason I had two versions of my ‘no one mourns the wicked’ icon for these two; one with this scene, the other with gaeta’s execution))

(his finger was actively on the trigger, too, before Gaeta’s hand joined his)

“Good work, and I’ll see you on the other side,” Lee says, when he gives the order to abandon ship.

“You too, Commander.” “Yes, sir.” Lol. But he does take a moment to say goodbye to Pegasus, which has been his home and his command for like a year and a half. “Thank you,” he says.

FUCK I’D FORGOTTEN THAT PEGASUS JUST. STRAIGHT-UP BATTERING RAMS A BASESTAR TO DEATH. TAKING IT WITH IT. WELL FUCKING PLAYED.

And then that piece of debris with the name of the ship.

And it’s eerily quiet under Starbuck yelling for Kacey. And Leoben comes down the stairs with the little girl. “I knew you’d be back. I saw it.”

LEOBEN. STOP. FUCK.

“Say the words. I want to hear it. And I want the rest of it. Like I told you.”

FUCK YOU.

“Fine. You win. I love you.” “Say it again.” And Kacey just looking up at the adults like ? “I love you.” “Now the rest.” And there’s a kiss and. Yikes. Just. Yikes.

“Was it everything you thought it would be?” “That and more. I’ll never forget this moment.” “Neither will I.” More kissing, and then she stabs him. And twists the knife. And Kacey looks down at his body, and here comes Sam!

“I’ll explain later. Let’s move.”

And Caprica and Gaius are looking for D’Anna. And they hear the baby crying!

“Frakking liar,” D’anna says, and then she hears the crying, too.

Poor Maya. Poor, poor Maya.

And Head!Six! “It’s her, Gaius. The first of God’s new generation.” “Hera,” he says.

“It’s a miracle,” Caprica says. “God spared her.”

And he stands up, holding her, as D’anna comes out of the tent.

“Hera,” she breathes. “Can I hold her?” And he hesitates for a moment, and then lets her take the child. And then he turns the gun on her.

“No!” Caprica says. “She won’t set off the nuke. Not anymore. Come on, Gaius. We have to go.”

And he follows her through the ashes and away.

And that shot of Laura back at her desk is Amazing. “All right. I’m ready to go.”

Chief’s face on seeing Kara with a baby. “I thought you were dead!” “Yeah, so did I!”

And then Kacey’s actual mom!!!

And that frozen heartbreak on Kara’s face, and then she forces a smile and.

“But you saved her. Gods bless you.”

That wild look on Kara’s face oh man oh man oh man.

Bill welcoming everyone aboard and Helo and Athena HUGGING and

And then Lee and Dee getting off their raptor and Bill like. “I guess you didn’t understand my orders.” “Never could read your handwriting.” MORE HUGS

“Permission to come aboard sir.” Oh, Saul. Oh poor Saul. “Permission granted.” And they exchange salutes, and. And the looks on their faces. “You did it. You brought ‘em home, Saul.” “Not all of them.” “I’m sorry.”

EMOTIONS. SO MANY EMOTIONS.

And then Bill is pulled away by the celebrating evacuees and Saul is just. Broken. :((((((( and back to Kara’s face and. And and and.

Oh, and there’s Gaeta leaning uncertainly against a raptor and.

EMOTIONS. THAT IS ALL.

“We’re still double-checking the manifests, but it doesn’t look like Maya made it off New Caprica.” “What about the baby?” And Tory just shakes her head. “I was there when the two guards left to take them to their ship. I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry. I let you down, and I know that.” “No, you didn’t. it’s not your fault.”

…want to remember this for when I get to S4.

“This is bigger than us. This is life.”

And shaving off the moustache!

The FUCKING LIGHTER MUSIC AGAIN

Collaborators:

Gaeta gets the previously-on!

Oh, Jammer.

And Chief isn’t super thrilled about this whole situation but he’s doing it. It is really interesting to watch the faces/feelings/reactions of the different people in the circle.

Oh man Chief just quietly asking “did you do it.”

Okay, three days off of New Caprica at this point. I do love timeline markers! Don’t think we get a whole lot after this (except in No Exit?) but they’re nice while they last, lol.

And Chief didn’t watch the execution, his back was turned. Everyone else did.

Anders is starting to doubt the mission of the circle. Chief…isn’t doubting in the same way, but he hates it.

Nicky is such a cute pudgy baby I wanna squish his li’l cheeks I love him.

Chief asking Cally if Jammer was telling the truth. Too late to change his decision, and it wouldn’t have changed anything either, but he just…wants to know.

“How did you know about that?” Good question Cally.

Back to the usual titles! 41,435.

RIGHT THIS BIT. I love the blooper where Mary McDonnell and James Callis both crack up when she goes in for the kiss. XD

“Oh no.” “What?” “I’m dreaming, aren’t I.” Yes, you are.”

Oh right, the part where he’s just. Naked. For a good chunk of the episode.

I will say that, while this show doesn’t get nearly up to Spartacus’ level, it is pretty good about equal-opportunity nudity. And a fair amount of the nudity isn’t really sexual, just…naked.

…wonder what the last three days on that basestar have been like.

And Sam is trying but he doesn’t really know how to help Kara, and she doesn’t really know what she needs from him, and…

Three more days to swear in a new Quorum! And then we play musical chairs with the Presidency XD

“The whole thing should take less than an hour.” “You’re stepping down without a fight. That means you want something. Why don’t you put your cards on the table, and let’s see if it’s a price I’m willing to pay.” And yeah, Tom’s like “yeah I’m a realist, I know I’m not gonna actually hold on to power, especially since Bill doesn’t like me. But I want to be part of the new government.”

The thing about Tom here is that…yes, he stood up to Baltar/the occupation regime. He is very good at making a gesture/statement/Point like that. It’s a significant chunk of What He Does throughout the course of the series. But there’s these sort of two sides of him, when it comes to his approach as a public/political figure--making a Point, and being ruthlessly practical. Part of him believes at least a portion of his own rhetoric, part of him just wants power. He cultivates being liked as a means to gain and hold power (as a contrast to Baltar, who cultivates power as a means to being liked/respected, or Laura who just wants to get shit done and knows she can do it/looks at the alternatives and…yeah.) Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that, if he’d been in Baltar’s position on New Caprica, meaning if he’d been President and not VP when the Cylons showed up…I genuinely don’t know which side of him would have won out. Because like I’ve said a couple times, once we get to that point, surrender is the only viable option. And part of Zarek would know that. But he’d also know that, once he made that call, his political career/power base would be absolutely destroyed. Especially given the specific reputation/persona he’s spent the last two years building. Even if he’d managed to get out of Cylon custody and work with the Resistance, even if the alternative to surrender is, best case scenario, he gets shot and they keep going down the chain of command until they find someone who will…so, does President Tom Zarek do the practical thing, or does he take a Stand? As VP, he can afford to take a stand, and show that courage that the Fleet needs, as Laura puts it.

…yeah, there’s a reason my Zarek tag is “and then there’s this asshole (affectionate)” and I might write about him if I write for GBB along with running it. He’s just. Fascinating. There’s so much to dig into here (I mean, there is for most of the characters, that’s kind of what this show Does, but).

…ANYWAY that tangent aside. Presidential musical chairs, resume.

Poor poor ironically named Felix Gaeta. I just wanna give him a hug.

“Who gave this man permission to enter the CIC?” Can’t really blame Tigh. And Helo’s like “Admiral ordered it, to fix the comms.”

And Gaeta just quietly stands there and takes it. “Do you know where my eye is?!”

Bill’s trying to get Saul calmed down, and…yeah, this is all very messy.

“Oh yeah. Just go to sleep. Forget about it all. Just forget about everything. Well I’m not forgetting. I’m not gonna forget.” I really love this in contrast to the way he is very Insistent on keeping things within correct bounds when working with the Circle when Connor wants to be Excessive.

57 more people to try in absentia, three days to do it. “Stop wasting time bitching and moaning. We all knew there was a clock when we signed on to do this.”

Yeah, like I was just saying. Connor “Most of these fraks are so guilty they stink. I can get through 50 of these things in an hour.” And Tigh slams his head into the table, and his voice is. So calm. And like. We know damn well Saul doesn’t have a problem shouting, he does it all the time. And just. Damn. “You think we’re thugs, handing out punishment on a whim? Jammer didn’t get airlocked because you thought he was guilty. There was evidence. You read the witness statements. He was tried and convicted by this circle. This is about justice. You got that? Justice!”

And now Gaeta’s name comes up.

And Tigh is like “You think I want to do this? I stood next to him in the CIC for four years. He was like family. But the fact remains he was Chief of Staff to Gaius Baltar, and that alone is enough to convict him.”

Anders is like “we don’t have any hard evidence, no witness statements, it’s not enough.” Chief agrees. Tigh points out that Baltar probably wasn’t directly running things because…the man has certain skills but. “He was the public face, but Gaeta was the brains. Everyone knew that.” And…honestly, during the year before the occupation, that’s almost certainly true. If only because Gaeta knew if he didn’t do it, Zarek would. Anything that actually did get done was probably mostly Gaeta. …or Zarek, depending on the specific thing.

“We don’t know what Gaeta did or didn’t do when he saw that list.” And Barolay’s like “you see a list like that, and you do nothing about it?”

And they call the question. And Sam’s like “No. I’m done. War’s over for me. I’m sorry.” Conner wants to push ahead without him, Jean’s like “we do need six votes.” Chief’s like “we don’t have six votes, I’m out too.” And Tigh, whatever his other personal feelings, has to agree. Because he wants to do this right. This is about justice.

Oh my god D’anna is so pretty in that dress.

“How are you, Gaius?” “…I’m alive, I suppose that’s something.”

((Also it is. Definitely my headcanon that the pills are 95% to shut Head!Six up. They didn’t really work; she was quiet for other reasons, but.))

The way her fingers linger when she hands them to him, though. And the way he pulls away when she sits down on the couch. “You’ll have to excuse me, I’m slightly confused. …how long have I been here, exactly?” “Three days.”

And the vote to let him stay/live is deadlocked. Three to three. And the Sixes are the swing vote, which surprises him. (I…wonder if it’s along the same lines otherwise as the Cylon civil war? The Threes are definitely voting to let him stay; the Ones are definitely voting to ditch him; the Fives probably follow the Ones’ lead. Probably the Eights are voting in his favor, but the Twos and Fours…)

Aaaaand yeah there are Missing Persons reports that Lee has to bring up. And ‘thousands’ of people got left behind on New Caprica, which is helpfully vague ((for fic/rp numbers I’ve used whatever number feels right in the moment))

Lee’s like “no, these are people we know got out, like Jammer.” “…yeah, I just saw him yesterday.”

So, thirteen people are missing, that means thirteen Circle executions. Plus 57 people left to try. Given that they were complaining about the time constraint for the remainder, probably we can assume no more than half of that have already been tried, especially since it probably took Zarek a day or so to set things up, pick his people, etc. There are 70 people on the list For Sure. If we assume maybe a handful don’t get convicted (or aren’t known to have gone missing after evacuating the planet)… 75 is a nice round number of people for Zarek to prioritize. Or maybe 72, that’s a multiple of twelve. Or 84, maybe. I don’t think any higher than that, though.

Ugh this FUCKING subplot again I hate it I hate it I hate it so much. “Hey, I dropped half a stone.” “Keep jumping.” HATE.

And Gaeta is isolated, and Starbuck is glaring at him from across the room, and she approaches and he…wants to believe she’s willing to talk to him. But he’s wary and. Can’t blame him.

“I heard about your situation.” “Right. I just try not to think about it anymore. You know? Kinda like you.”

“What do you want me to say? Maybe I could’ve done more, but when the Cylons landed, I thought it was important for me to keep my job. To help from the inside.” “By propping Baltar up and letting the Cylons walk all over us?” “No! I fed information to the resistance. I set up dead drops. There was a dog bowl. I passed along Cylon positions, internal memoranda…” “Riiiiight, Felix. You’re a frakking hero.”

And he leaves. Because what else can he do at this point.

And Caprica looks so sad. “Whatever feelings I had for you have to stop. I let my feelings cloud my judgment. I protected you. I gave your species a second chance. I even turned against a sister Cylon, and for what? I’m a Cylon, Gaius. Somehow I lost sight of that.” “You are much, much more than a machine. You’re a person. A real person. A woman. And you’re in love with me. And it hurts. I know it hurts. But believe me, I am the only one that can make it better. Don’t you see? I am the only one.” …yeah, you started out okay there, Gaius, if you had stopped with ‘I know it hurts’ or pivoted to ‘because it hurts me too’ or something along those lines…buuuuuuut nope. XD

He's not allowed out of the room, Centurion blocks his way. And then belatedly. “And I need you too! ……….maybe I should’ve started with that.”

((once again, resisting the urge to go on a long tangent about the two of them and their relationship, lol. Look, I love them, I’m invested in their eventual happy ending; I get very different things from the two of them than my other primary ships in this fandom; there’s a Lot to unpack particularly in this phase of their relationship and why it falls apart here despite the fact that they never stop loving each other and Because Destiny Said So is in play.))

Kara joins the Circle! And Tigh is very, very clear on the rules, because it is important to him. …probably because that’s one of the ways he can live with himself. Especially after Ellen.

And it really is interesting, the way Sam (and Chief) are trying to walk away from the hell they went through, trying to move on and keep living. Sam walks away, decides he needs a clean break; Chief stays involved because maybe he thinks the Circle needs someone with that perspective on it. And Tigh in his own way is clinging to that…especially given his line about being demons down there on that planet. Clinging so hard to doing this right. To making it justice, and not chaotic vengeful bloodshed like it was before.

“It’s not about settling scores or personal grudges. It’s a jury.” “We’re just dealing with the worst of the worst. People who did more than put on an NCP uniform or make a deal with the Cylons.” Yeah, because…well, like I said before, the Vast Majority of people are going to mostly keep their heads down and try to survive. And that is going to involve, for a lot of them, a limited level of cooperation, and where you draw the line between that and collaboration is important. And, like, look at Cottle and his sense of medical ethics. (lol if Zarek did try to put him on the Circle’s list he was definitely acquitted, but I genuinely don’t think his name came up. Just. A thought that occurred XD)

“None of this is legal, right?” Kara asks. “No, it’s legal,” Chief says. And shows her the orders from Zarek. “…you’ve got to be kidding me.” And Tigh asks for her commitment. And she’s in.

They give her a minute to go over the evidence. And Chief once again points out that they don’t know what Gaeta might have done when he saw that list.

…I bet Chief is wondering if Gaeta was his source. I’m sure a part of him is hoping he was. He likes Gaeta, Gaeta is a likeable dude. He liked Jammer, too, but Jammer’s guilt was a lot more unambiguous and also he wasn’t in a position to be the inside source. [for crossover purposes where I headcanon Chief as Force-sensitive…possible evidence? Lol.]

“My gods, the whole things like a bad dream, only we woke up and the traitors are all still here.” And Kara votes guilty immediately. Seelix says it has to be unanimous, and turns to Chief, who’s the last to vote. And Sam interrupts to talk to Kara. Tigh agrees because she’s already voted. …there’s a Thing here, about Tigh and his sense of duty and loyalty, but I can’t quite find the words for it. Maybe when I get to Crossroads.

“I quit because I’m not looking for ways to keep killing people.” “I need this, Sam.” “What, throwing a few people out an airlock is going to make you feel better about yourself? Because believe me, those aren’t the people who kept you locked in that room.” “They’ll do! And not just for me, but for every person we left back on that planet. Someone’s gotta pay. So you can either get with it, or you can get lost.” “Is that what you want, Kara? You want me to leave?”

“A lot of good people had to pay the price for what they did. Choices they made on New Caprica. Like my wife. And I liked her a lot more than I like Gaeta.” I do love that line.

“Look, Sam…I’m in a different place now. I…I don’t know how else to explain it to you. But I got out of that cell, and it’s like someone painted the world in different colors. And I look at you…and I wanna tear your eyes out just for looking at me. I just wanna hurt someone, and it might as well be you. So you should probably go before that happens.” :((((((((((((( I want to hug both of them so much.

“Baltar, not Gaeta.” “It’s the same damn thing.” “He’s right, Chief. A lot of people died because of them.” And Chief caves, and votes guilty.

Oh no oh no he’s giving her back the dog tags I’m gonna cry :((((((((

“Sam—” and then she pulls him back and kisses him and. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. And then she walks away. And that shot of him alone on the deck in semi-darkness I just. Babies. I love them.

And Gaeta is offered a chance to defend himself…after conviction. And he looks to Chief, who begs him to talk. “We’ll listen.” And then Connor cuts in. And Jean is like “say something.” And Felix says, “what’s the point? I already tried to explain. I’m not gonna beg.” And I can’t really blame him. “Too bad you didn’t grow that spine four months ago,” Tigh says. And Felix remains quiet. But Kara, in her blind unfocused rage and pain, saves him. Unintentionally.

“Beg. Beg.” “Thrace—” “No. Beg. Come on, Felix. Tell ‘em how you were working for the resistance the entire time. COME ON! Tell them about all the important information you gave them. Tell them about the messages, and the dog bowl, and everything else.” And that catches Chief’s attention! “What? What did she just say? What did you say to her? Tell me. What did you say to her?” “There was a yellow dog bowl. It was a signal. It meant there was a message in the garbage dump. I turned it over. It was a signal. It meant there was a message in the garbage dump.” “…that was you. Oh, my g—” And he cuts him free. “There was a yellow dog bowl. I used it. You were wondering who the source was, Colonel. There’s no other way he could’ve known. He’s the only other one who would’ve known.”

And Gaeta just quietly says. “I did what I could.” And slowly gets to his feet. “I don’t know what else I could’ve done.” And he walks through them and away. And the Look Chief and Tigh share.

And Bill and Laura are calling Zarek on this crap. …and Tory is there, too! Because all of the Five have to be involved in this (except Ellen). I doubt she says anything but the fact that she’s There.

“They have a jury. But they don’t get lawyers. They don’t get to showboat for weeks on end while they find ways to blame the system. And they don’t get lasting fame as martyrs or innocent people just in the wrong place at the wrong time. They just disappear. Now. In the grey twilight between the long night of the occupation and the dawn of a new era. You come into office clean, without their blood on your hands.” “Well, thank you. That’s very poetic.” A) I love the look on her face that’s like “someone’s speaking from Direct Personal Experience don’t think I’ve forgotten how you became a household name Tom” and B) just the way she cuts him off I love everything about this. And the boundaries she works to set, just like when she and Tigh were arguing about suicide bombers on New Caprica.

“You think by making the trials public, you’ll find justice?” “Yes, I do.” “Come on, Laura, you’re not that naïve. Let me tell you what’ll happen, if these cases go to trial. It’ll consume this fleet for months, maybe years. People will be lining up to testify against their neighbors. It’ll be a circus, an entertainment for the mob, and you’ll be signing death warrants every day. Is that how you want to spend your term, Laura? As executioner-in-chief?” he’s not Entirely wrong here and she knows it and she hates all of it. Which is why she does what she does next; if he hadn’t had the Circle in play, maybe she would’ve done something different re: the amnesty (like she says she was planning to do), but…again. He’s Not Entirely Wrong. But definitely after Zarek did what he did, she’s backed into a corner there.

Also oh man her speech playing over Kara hanging up the dog tags Sam gave her back and Saul finding Ellen’s clothes and hanging them up and…

“We all feel the need for justice, and we all feel the need for vengeance, and telling the difference between the two can be difficult at times.” And the way it panned over Zarek and Bill there was. Amazing.

And cutting to Baltar and Caprica on the basestar when she says “we are all victims of the Cylons, and none of us can be impartial.”

Caprica leaving Gaius clothes; she did vote to let him stay in the end.

“There will be no prosecutions. I am issuing a general pardon for every human being in this fleet. This will not be a popular move today, but I truly believe this is the only way for us to move forward in strength. In the spirit of healing and reconciliation.” And that it goes to Tory when she says that.

And lol once again Bill leads the applause for Laura I love it.

Gaeta still eating alone. Until Chief goes over to him.

I do appreciate that Gaeta didn’t have to cut his hair again when he resumed his military position. I like Floofy!Gaeta XD

Torn:

This weird-ass fucking arc here we go!

Baltar gets the previously-on.

Hurray for beachside fantasies! ((…I mean, I know some of it is because of the lakehouse, but it is interesting how many of his fantasies involve water. Mostly in context of the Selkie AU which I probably will write more of someday XD) And Head!Six is back. “I thought you’d abandoned me to your Cylon comrades.” “Would I do that?” “You’ve always been more…unpredictable than your flesh and blood counterparts.” “A man who loves women as much as you do should’ve learned that a long time ago.” “I’m a slow learner.” “Then take this period to learn all you can about the Cylons. You’ll need it in the days ahead.” And now she tells him about projection! “What are you, really? You’re either connected to the woman I knew on Caprica, or you’re a damaged part of my subconscious struggling for self-expression. So which is it?” “I’m an angel of God sent here to help you. Just as I always have been.”

And he’s no less afraid (of her) when he wakes up, for all he pretends not to be in the dream.

((and now I’m distracted by wondering where the clothes he was given came from. Were they. Like. Just what he was wearing when they left New Caprica, only cleaned? Did they get taken from one of the Fives? I mean, they’re a little too…sedate in color for that But XD))

Yeaaaaah time would Absolutely not feel real in that room, especially when he’s alone most of the time.

“We’re all part of one big ecosystem.” “…yes, I can feel it breathing…” that’s Fascinating and I love it.

And then Caprica comes in and D’Anna pulls away a little. And they start asking him questions about Earth. “Do you know how to find it?” “Not really, no. That’s unfortunate. There was a hope—my hope—that if you knew about Earth, it would justify keeping you alive a little longer.” “Wait. Wait! When I say I do not know exactly where Earth is, that is not to say I don’t know a great deal about it’s possible location. I spent hours—days—weeks—months!” Lol. I mean, he’s actually probably telling the truth here; along with the other projects he was working on for the science part of his job. But just. Watching him flail after D’anna pulls that “what a shame” thing.

And Caprica is still being a little distant. “We’ll get back to you.”

And he asks the real question! “Why do you care about finding Earth?” and the look on his face when D’anna tells him “we’ve decided it’s going to be our new home.”

41,422!

Back to training exercises; Lee and Starbuck are back in their cockpits, Helo is still acting XO.

Aaaaaand collision when Starbuck ignored orders and went out of formation.

“How’d you land this thing?” “Pointed it towards the deck and stopped when I got here.” Lol.

Lee benches Starbuck which. Yeah honestly kinda fair at the moment.

And Tigh is hallucinating Ellen’s voice! And he goes into the hall looking for her and…

…

Yeah.

https://textsfrombsg.tumblr.com/post/6491550426/submitted-by-derevko

Awwww, Kacey!

“Gimme a hug!”

I wonder when it changed from Camp Oil Slick to Dogsville.

“The last thing I need is a two-year-old friend. And Kacey does not need me in her life. So do us both a favor and don’t bring her around here again.” Can’t really blame Julia for being Annoyed, but also…yeaaaaaaaah.

FUCK THIS SUBPLOT WITH A RUSTY SPOON.

And yep, he wasn’t lying, Gaeta’s building on the same research. “If there was one thing I learned about Baltar, it was his extraordinary capacity for self-preservation. I think he wanted to find Earth because he wanted to get there.” That is. Certainly at least partially true. And also probably part of it was that it was an interesting and challenging Science Problem for him to solve.

“Initially, I thought the doctor might be off his meds as well.” That shouldn’t be as funny as it is XD

I do love that little flash of her soft smile as they’re walking down the hallway and he’s bitching about his conflicted feelings.

Random naked Eight doing her naked Tai Chi because Eights are just very comfortable with their bodies XD and he’s distracted for a moment because…well, yeah, and then he’s like “…sorry, didn’t mean to intrude.” And LOL him putting his hand up to cover his eyes as Caprica drags him away.

And he gets her to actually explain projecting. “Have you ever daydreamed and imagined you were somewhere else?” “…I have an active imagination.” LOL “We choose to see our environment in any way we wish. You see us as standing in a hallway, but I see it as a forest. Filled with trees, birds, sunlight…” “Like the walks you and I used to take. On Caprica.” “…the aesthetic is what gives me pleasure. Not the specific memories.”

I wonder if they can do this outside of basestars, or if they need the network/datastream to do it?

“Instead of looking at blank walls, I choose to surround myself with a vision of God’s creation.”

And now he’s back on the beach with Head!Six. …and starts to wonder if it’s the same. “Is it a coincidence?” she asks. “What are you saying? Is there a connection? Because of my experiences with you—am I a Cylon?!”

And back to Caprica. “What was that?” “…nothing. Just thinking out loud. Silly me.”

((Like, I know that the writers specifically had a rule that anyone other than Roslin or Adama was fair game for a Cylon reveal, but I genuinely think that it could never have been Baltar. It would have broken too many mythology and thematic rules. He and Helo are the ones who never could be Cylons because of the way the narrative is structured around them; Bill and Laura could never be revealed as Cylons because of the emotional rules/core of the story.))

And Racetrack is willing to fly second chair for Athena, and calls her Boomer, and she’s like “…that was someone else.” And then Helo gets everyone to pitch new callsigns and most of them are terrible jokes (as callsigns often are) but then someone suggests Athena and. Yep! …and by someone I mean Hotdog XD “usually accompanied by the goddess of victory” and the little SMILE the Agathons share and their hands and that little kiss and I love them.

Aaaaand in comes Tigh who’s still in a Mood.

Dead Man’s Chest is apparently another card game besides Triad!

Aaaaaaaand now Kat is needling at the gap/wound between the people who were on the planet and the people who were in the fleet and.

Helo does briefly step in to defend the crew, but knows when to back down, even when Tigh takes a…not even really a shot at Athena, more at the whole Situation. “While you were pinning wings on your Cylon girlfriend, our people were strapping bombs to their chests to take the bastards out. So forgive me if I don’t get all misty about your sacrifices.”

Kara and Saul have never gotten along quite as well, it’s a problem.

“You seem distracted, Gaius.” “…do I?” “You can rest easy. Your navigational data and your rescue of the child have gone a long way to convincing the others, for now.” And then he’s doing the math, and she starts softening a little, “I used to think that you and I might have a baby one day…”

(still clinging to my headcanon that the glowyspine is related to conception, even though I know there’s an Official explanation)

“There are twelve Cylon models, but in the entire occupation, I only ever saw seven. Here, only the same seven. Who are the final five?” “I can’t talk about them.” “Can’t, or won’t?” “I can’t. it’s complicated, but we don’t talk about them.”

Aaaaand now we get to the Actual plot of this episode! “Six, we have a problem.”

Basestar hybrid yay!!!!

The datastream here is fairly literal and it’s kind of beautiful.

And that Four does seem to think the disease would download with the victims which…I don’t think that makes a whole lot of sense but what do I know. …but it is probably better to assume it might and take precautions just in case.

And Head!Six orders him to volunteer. “You have to prove to them you can be counted on in an emergency. Show them you’re worth keeping alive.” “And if you are a Cylon, one of the five you haven’t seen yet, wouldn’t you rather just die and get it over with?”

And he does volunteer, and Caprica’s face when she says “what?”

“A truly selfless act…” Well. Not really. But.

“Here’s to knowing that someone will always have your back.” “The sentiment’s good, but in my book, trust is an overrated commodity.” And everyone’s drunk and everyone’s still hurting and Kat and Kara are always good at Escalating a situation.

“Every colonist that landed on New Caprica was loyal…to a point. It was amazing watching those people that you thought you knew go over to the Cylons.” Yesssssssss.

And Helo’s like “I…really don’t want to talk about the problems Tigh and Kara are causing, in part because Kara is one of my best friends, and in part because after my own experiences in occupied territory and coming back to the fleet, I do get it. But the Admiral is asking me directly, so…I can’t not.” “Suddenly, it’s like if you weren’t in the ground war, you can’t be trusted.” “They’re destroying morale and unit cohesion.” “They both know better.” “I don’t think they care, sir.” Right now, no.

“Atrophy. Don’t ask me how. I’ll be dead in a thousand light years.” I really genuinely love the basestar hybrids, they’re Amazing.

Also the way all these…disconnected/sort of floating/almost…dissociated isn’t the word I want but. Just. The Vibe of these sequences on the basestar during these first couple episodes is Really Cool.

Also Baltar in a flight suit is the weirdest fucking visual XD

Lol, of course the Twos are the ones who pay attention to the Hybrids’ babbling.

“She is the baseship in a very real sense.” “Mind gone mad.” “She experiences life very differently than we do, Gaius. She swims in the heavens, laughs at stars, breathes in cosmic dust…maybe Leoben is right. Maybe she does see God.”

And that ‘to know the face of god is to know madness’ (with the ‘to love another person is to see the face of god’ corollary) pops back into my head…

Oh man the creepy floaty dead raiders.

He’s trying to be detached and analytical but. His face. At least until he sees the beacon they brought on board.

“I would never do anything to hurt you.” Oh, man, this scene with this Six. Just. Oh shit. And she asked him to kill her, and he doesn’t want to, and then she accuses him of doing this on purpose and does she believe that or is she trying to get him to do what she asked in the first place and then he does and. Man.

Oh shit. “I see nothing. Nothing of consequence. There’s nothing left to do here.”

“Whatever you think I did, I didn’t do it, honestly!” “We followed your coordinates and found a disease with no treatment or cure.”

And they’re arguing and then D’anna just slams her hand into the datastream. And they have to abandon that basestar. And the Hybrid is screaming.

“Mists of dreams drip along the nascent echo, and love no more. End of line.”

“The Hybrid objects.” “She doesn’t get a vote. Jump the ship.”

“You noticed nothing suspicious on the infected ship?” And Caprica finds the proof he’s lying when he says ‘nothing,’ as she goes through the pictures he took.

And Bill goes to talk to Kara and Saul.

“Give me your sidearm.” “…what?” “Your sidearm.” And she has no idea what’s going on, but she does pull out the gun for him. He cocks it and tosses it back on the table.

“There’s a live round in that!” Tigh says. “One of you, I don’t care who, pick that up and shoot me,” Bill says. “Admiral, I don’t—” “I didn’t say to talk. You’ve done enough of that already. I said to pick up that weapon and shoot.” “You gonna turn the rest of my pilots against each other? Poison the crew? You’ve already done that. Both of you.” “Yeah, well, if you’re looking for an apology—” and he shoves her chair over. “You were like a daughter to me once. No more. You’re malcontented and a cancer. And I won’t have you on my ship. So you have a choice. You figure out how to become a human being again and an officer, or you can find another place to live, off of this ship. You’re dismissed.” That first bit was a lie, she is still his daughter. But. “You gonna kick me out of my chair, too? Don’t patronize me. Say what you came here to say.” “If you need time, Saul, you take all the time you want. But I gotta run a ship. The last thing I need is a one-eyed drunk sitting down here sowing discontent and disobedience. So I’ll tell you again Saul. You can pick up that gun and kill me, or you can go back to your quarters until you’re ready to act like the man I’ve known for the past thirty years.” And Saul empties the gun. “That man doesn’t exist anymore, Bill. And you won’t be seeing me again.”

Man. Just. The way he gets from there to how he reacts to the Reveal at the end of the season I just. I love Saul. Every time I watch this show, I love him more and more.

And Kara is cutting off her hair and everyone’s just kind of baaaaaacking away from her and her knife. But she is resetting, as best she can.

And Saul is just. Back in his quarters. Drinking.

And she goes to see Kacey yay!!!!

Who really is a very adorable two-year-old. And probably swears as much as Kara now XD

Oh Kara’s face when she holds her my heart :(((((((((

And Saul staring at the picture and holding Ellen’s jacket and……..man.

And Racetrack is so excited to see the nebula! And Athena’s like “something is Off” and then they see the drifting raiders and the basestar and… “When God’s anger awakens, even the mighty shall fall.” “Frak, Athena, we need to get out of here!!!”

A Measure of Salvation:

Previously on is…Lee, maybe? Maybe Helo? Does Helo ever get a previously-on?

Oh man the way they keep cutting to Athena as they board the basestar and. Anxiety.

Also everyone else has a helmet even lee why doesn’t she get one.

(also lol because Dean Stockwell is Sir Not Appearing In This Two Parter there are no dead Ones XD At least the Fours get stuff to do this episode…)

Oh, man, Athena’s face when she kneels next to her dead brother.

And now she’s putting her hand in the data stream and I know she’s immune but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Oh god the datastream is all sludgy. “You sure you want to do that?” “It’s how it works.”

And Lee’s brevet promotion to Commander has been revoked, he’s back to Major.

Five living Cylons! A Two, a Four, a Six, an Eight, a Five.

And they’re praying.

Athena cradles her sister Eight’s head. Eight calls her a traitor, then tells her to save herself. “Get away from us.” And the Six tells her the same thing that other Six told Gaius.

“Infected?” “…son of a bitch!” Lol Matthias’s tone XD

“Uh, Galactica, Apollo. We have a situation down here.” You sure do!

((lol imagine if their recon ran into Gaius and the other basestar that would’ve gone real weird real fast I’m sure someone’s written that fic but))

41,420! …wait, who died in the last episode I’m confused.

Yay Cottle! And yeah, this is Absolutely the kind of shit the military would have an Established Procedure for, he just has to brief command on the specifics since it’s his department.

And yeah, while Cottle wanting the beacon to study makes sense, Bill deciding it’s too risky also makes perfect sense, so he doesn’t fight it and just moves on to the question of the five survivors/prisoners.

“How many prisoners?” “How many you got?”

And the basestar goes Boom!

“Massive energy discharge from the basestar! …it exploded, sir.”

Back to the other basestar for a little light torture!

“How long have you planned to betray us?” Yeah, because that was a STUPID lie you told. Like. I get that you were panicking because of that Six and what she said but like. Lying about the beacon when you already have a picture of it is going to cause you way more problems than it solves!

And Caprica’s crushed face, and D’anna’s disappointment.

“You’re only making this harder on yourself.” “We know about the beacon, Gaius. You knew it was out there. You knew it contained a deadly virus.” “This is a most profound understanding. Yes, I did discover it on the baseship, and I should’ve told you sooner, but I thought you’d link me to the virus, I was wrong, it was a mistake, it will never happen again, and…”

And Caprica is on the edge of tears because after everything she does still love him. “I’m sorry, Gaius.” As the Centurions come in.

And D’anna’s little sad smile. “Things would have been so much simpler had you only told the truth.” And she adds, very matter-of-factly, “We think you know more about this virus, and we intend to find out.”

“Relax. Have a drink.” Head!Six says. “I can’t. The pain.” “It’s all in your head, Gaius. Pain, pleasure, they’re all just neural impulses sent to the brain. You decide how to interpret them. They can be pleasant…or unpleasant.”

[gotta love when I’m watching this particular torture scene and the dog interrupts saying ‘throw the ball plz’ XD]

[I did in fact pause to throw the ball what kind of monster do you think I am]

And Caprica’s face as she listens to him scream, and turns and walks away. And the look D’Anna gives her is soft, and sympathetic. Almost empathetic.

“I want it to stop, Gaius. I don’t want you to feel this pain. And neither does Caprica, do you?” “No.” “I love you,” he says, looking at Caprica, and her face oh man.

“You feel anything yet?” “Yeah, I feel sick. Sick of you bugging me.” “You didn’t touch any infected skinjobs.” “Not my fault you’re clumsy.” “You can kiss my infected ass.” Lol I love Hotdog. And Racetrack. I’m getting better at recognizing her out of her helmet!

“Well, you can kiss it, but it’s not infected.” LOL COTTLE I LOVE YOU.

And humans are immune but Athena still might not be so she has to stay in quarantine. And oh no Helo waiting outside and his face. “Please tell me she’s okay.” And Helo very briefly accuses Cottle of prejudice, but is more focused on reassuring Sharon as best he can and then “you come for me the second you know” and I love those two so fucking much.

Cottle goes to check on the prisoners, and has them take the Five. “He’s the furthest gone.” And he can’t cure them, but he can keep them alive.

And some medical technobabble about a vaccine but Cylons have an antibody that will break it down so it won’t function as a cure, and they’ll need several injections in close intervals. It’ll treat it but not cure it.

Lee asks “should we bother keeping them alive.” Which. …I mean, yeah, it does need to be asked. Helo suggests keeping them alive to question for intelligence. And Bill agrees, with Roslin pointing out that dangling the vaccine as a bribe to get them to talk might work. “They don’t need to know it’s a stop-gap.” So far, so good, but I do know how this meeting ends soooooooo yeah.

Hey, we’re using Helo’s name! “Karl’s wife called it ‘the prayer to the cloud of the unknowing’.” I think that’s. like. One of three or four times in the Entire Series someone calls him Karl, lol. “She said they only use it when they’re facing an imminent death that’s final, no chance of resurrection. They were ready to die.” And Laura points out, just because they’re ready to die doesn’t mean they don’t want to live/none of them would take the chance if it was offered.

And the Four takes it!

God I love his voice.

“It infected everything. Baseship. Raiders. Centurions. Until we were finally abandoned by the other Cylon ships.” “Why not just put you under quarantine until they found a cure?” “Fear of spreading the disease. They told us there was a bioelectric feedback component to the pathogen, it corrupts how our brains manage our immune systems. If one of us dies and is resurrected, the disease will follow, infecting the resurrection ship and the fleet.” I still say this makes very little sense, but again if there’s Even A Chance I can understand not wanting to take the risk. “Why were you in this area?” “We were sent here to look for the lion nebula. Baltar…said it would point the way to Earth.” And reveals that Baltar is alive and on the baseship, helping them find Earth! Huh, I thought they didn’t know until the algae planet, guess I misremembered.

“We want a new beginning. Much like you. I gave you information. She said that there was a cure.” “Doc Cottle will be giving you the medicine.”

The Fours really do need more love [which is why there’s one in TOB]

…I still feel like it’s weird that Lee is the one who immediately jumps to genocide via biowarfare. I mean, not that he’s willing to do it, but that it was his idea. …granted, I’m not sure whose idea it should have been, out of the people in the room. But…ah well, this is a Weird Ass Arc anyway.

“You sure the virus will download into a new body?” “The Cylons are sure of it.” Again, even if they’re not sure, making the choice to sacrifice the infected basestar Just In Case is a horrible but…you can see the logic of the decision. Even if the Hybrid objected. So, if we’re going this route, following that same logic only in reverse “we can’t be sure but it’s worth trying.” “The fact that they left their wounded out there to die alone with no hope of rescue tells me all I need to know.”

And Helo is the one who calls it what it is. Using the word genocide.

“They’re not human. They were built, not born. No fathers, no mothers, no sons, no daughters.” “I had a daughter. I held her in my arms.” “She was half-human. These are things. Dangerous things.” “You can rationalize it any way you want. We do this, we’re no different than they are.” And Laura says, “I respectfully disagree. They started this war, and not being content with wiping out billions of human beings, they pursued us relentlessly through the galaxy, determined to wipe us out.” And then Helo brings up what they were trying on New Caprica which. Was a Mistake. Because he’s not wrong but that is Not the argument to use.

((also this whole situation is…weird, the writing is weird, Choices Were Made.))

“You would serve your fleet better if you would remember that the Cylons are a deadly enemy of the human race.” “I’m talking about right and wrong. I’m talking about losing a piece of our souls. No one wants to hear that, right? Let’s keep it on me. Yeah, I’m married to a Cylon. Who walked through hell for all of us how many times? And she’s not half anything. How do we know there aren’t others like her? She made a choice. She’s a person.” This is absolutely true; but there’s a point (and we’re past that point) that you can’t wait and hope for that. “They’re a race of people. Wiping them out with a biological weapon is a crime against—it’s a crime against humanity.” “But they’re not human, they’re programmed,” Lee says. “We will take your input under advisement,” Laura says. “Thank you both.”

And once again, we have a lot of that same rhetoric used—for the suicide bombers, for how the Circle was supposed to operate…that recurring theme of ‘we have to be worthy of survival’/’there are some boundaries we have to maintain/some lines we Cannot Cross or we will lose ourselves.’ And the Pegasus arc, too. And just. …again, this arc is weird for a lot of reasons but it does hit hard on that point once again and does so fairly well.

Back to the torture porn! …well I think I’m funny. …although actually the torture isn’t super graphic. Although the minimal BGM, just the machine whining and Baltar’s shaky breathing and occasionally screaming is. Effective.

“I can guide you through the torment and beyond, but you have to do the work.” “I’ll do anything,” he tells Head!Six. and D’anna hears him. “Tell us what we want to know,” she says, softly. “Look at me,” Head!Six says. “When you make love to me, you don’t always think about me.” LOL. “Your mind wanders, I know that. You think of equations, puzzles, your laundry…” okay I love that ‘equations’ is on that list just. What a Delightful character note. “It’s the nature of the mind to disconnect from the body, enjoining on its own. Separate your mind from your body. Keep your mind in that room. Use your intellect against her. Reason. Logic. Analysis. Find the holes in her psyche.” “I can’t—the pain—” “The pain’s only in your body. So keep your body here with me. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.”

“This is what the absence of pain feels like,” D’anna says. And that little almost wink. “It’s easy to forget.” This is so fucked up I love it.

“It was a coincidence.” “There’s no such thing as coincidence. God wills the universe according to his design.” “Focus on her. As a Cylon, not a woman. Be a scientist. Examine her faith.” As she starts undoing her dress.

“I’m a scientist. And as a scientist, I believe if God exists, our knowledge of him is imperfect. Why? Because the stories and myths we have are the products of men. The passage of time. Religion in practice is based on a theory. Impossible to prove, yet you bestow it with absolutes like “there is no such thing as coincidence.”” “It’s called faith.” “Absolute belief in God’s will means there’s a reason for everything. Everything. And yet…you can’t help asking yourself how God can allow death and destruction and then despise yourself for asking, but the truth is, if we knew God’s will, we’d all be gods, wouldn’t we?” I love that last line so much. “I can see it in your eyes, D’Anna. You’re frustrated. You’re conflicted. Let me help you. Let me help you change. Find a way to reconcile your faith with fact. Find a way toward a rational universe.” As she’s selecting her next torture instrument.

“Give your body to me. Only your mind is there. Feel me. Feel this where she wants you to feel pain. Look at me. Look at me, Gaius. Do you want me to believe you’re worth saving? Do you? Say it.” “I want you to believe in me! Don’t stop! Don’t stop! Please! Please, don’t stop! You have to believe in me! You’re all I have left!” and D’Anna’s face, because as far as she knows, he’s talking to her. “Now tell me you believe in me. Tell me you believe in my strength!” “I believe in you! I believe in you.” And he whispers, crying, “I love you with all my heart.” And that’s. that’s a lot of blood from his ear. Wow.

And D’anna just sort of…petting him as he passes out.

YAY ATHENA IS OKAY! “Something about fetal blood cells, whatever, I’m immune” aww that tacklehug the way she jumps up to him I LOVE THEM THEY’RE SO CUTE ONLY GOOD THINGS FOR THE FIGHTING AGATHONS. “Our baby saved my life. She’s gone forever, and she saved my life. Hera kept us together.” And she’s unfastening his belt for Victory Sex and he can’t help thinking about the genocide that’s being discussed, and he tells her what the plan is. And she starts crying. “The infection’s gonna spread everywhere.” And he’s crying a little, too. That shaky breath before it cuts to Bill and Laura.

(Also I love her curled up in her chair super cute.)

“There’s a point I’d like to make,” Bill says. “The law forbids me to use biological weapons without a direct Presidential order.” “Which means you’re passing the buck.” “On this one, yes. Helo’s right on one thing. We start destroying entire races, even mechanical races, we’re liable to tear off a piece of man’s soul.” “The Cylons are coming to Earth. If they find us, they’re coming for us. Those are the stakes. They always have been, Bill.”

And Athena is. Not going to fight it. “You think I don’t know that? I made a choice to wear a uniform. To be a person.” “You were a person before you put on that uniform, okay? You were a person before I fell in love with you. You don’t have to prove that.” “I have to prove it every day. Let me tell you something, Helo. My people may die. My entire race may be wiped out. But this Cylon will keep her word, even if that means she’s the last Cylon left in the universe. Can a human being do that?”

“Posterity doesn’t really look too kindly on genocide.” “You’re making an assumption that posterity will define this as genocide. If they do, at least there’ll be someone alive to hate us for it.” …yeah. Yeah, that is a point she’s making. I don’t know that it outweighs the rest, but…it is a point. “The Cylons are our mistake. We created them.” And she gives the order. “The use of biological weapons is authorized.” “So say we all.” “So say we all.”

Athena is even flying in the mission oh man.

Starbuck’s back in her cockpit, yay!

And Helo is Doing A Thing because Helo is a Good Man and he will not cross this line, even if it means he has to cross another.

Gotta love when murdering five people is the lesser of two evils.

And there’s Something about Gaeta relaying the ‘terminate the prisoners’ order after All of the Everything.

And Lee is leading the execution party. Along with Matthias. Only to find the prisoners are all already dead in their cell.

“They were dead before the resurrection ship was in range. They didn’t download the disease. We missed our window.”

“Seems like they’re always coming for one of us.” Aww, Helo. “I’m not a traitor. I love my people. I love this ship. Besides you, the first thing I wanna see on any morning are the lights in that CIC. I did what I thought was right. If it was a mistake, fine, I can live with that. It’s you I can’t live without.” And she holds him. And I love them both so much. “I’ll always love you, Helo.”

“Someone did this manually,” Bill says. “Someone?” Laura asks. “Seems to me there’s only one or two likely suspects. Who will lead the investigation?” “No one. I’m closing the book on this one.” “How convenient.” And it was an accidental contamination based on Cottle’s findings. “According to Cottle, the virus was an exact match to one reported over 3000 years ago, right around the time the 13th colony left Kobol.” “The beacon was a signpost to Earth.” “We’re on the right trail.” “So are the Cylons.”

Well that was certainly a two-parter! But I love Helo and Athena so goddamn much, that’s what I’m choosing to care about right now, lol.

Hero:

Another weird one, hurray. Uh, to be completely honest, I have very little memory of this episode? I mean, I remember the broad/overall plot but no real Specifics. …probably because none of this is ever mentioned again.

Bill gets the previously-on!

Hi Corinne!

I think these flashbacks are recent enough that we won’t have to see that crappy wig from the ones in the beginning of S2, at least.

LOL THE PAINTING I FORGOT ABOUT IT.

Laura’s hair is really cute here.

Awwww, Billy gets mentioned!! I love Billy and I miss him a lot.

45 years in the military which just. Highlights the way the Caprica retcon makes absolutely no sense.

((as ‘one last time’ from Hamilton starts playing in my head… “after 45 years of my life/dedicated to its service with an upright zeal…”))

I forget what CBDR stands for, I know it came up at one point. I do not care enough to Google it but.

Lol did Bulldog also bring his own brain to the party.

Helo’s ‘huh?’ face is great.

Starbuck got her haircut evened out, I see.

Starbuck’s ‘wtf’ face is even greater.

41,421! Bulldog Immediately gets added to the count, I love it.

…they are actually still using the Cylon detector XD I guess at some point it got tweaked and put back into use? Or a different one got built, IDK. But yeah, that’s definitely a useful thing to know.

Lol, Cottle. “The conspiracy theorists are going to be disappointed.”

Okay, so Bulldog went missing three years ago, which means… if we add up the ~10 months of S1 + S2, plus the two timeskips, plus however long between the exodus and now, it’s been somewhere between two and two and a half years since the miniseries. So the Valkyrie mission has to have been between six months and a year, give or take, before the attack. Maybe a bit longer, to allow for rounding. And since Cylon infiltrator agents like Caprica and Boomer had already been in position for at least a year at that point…yeah, no, this stealth mission did not kick off anything, even before the Final Five reveal stuff Conclusively proves otherwise.

…now I want noodles.

((…I keep calling them ‘basestars,’ but I keep hearing ‘baseships.’ Did I…did I totally make up ‘basestar’ lol.))

“After a while I felt the institution no longer had anything to offer me, so I left.” Lol.

“Thought maybe the Cylons had beaten the bullshit attitude out of you.” LOL.

Ooooooh was he on the infected basestar??? Or did a second one get infected and also cut off? But then where did the pursuing raiders come from…?

Hi, Random Three! (oh man especially since this comes off the episode of a different D’Anna torturing Baltar…I wonder if they do most of it? I had assumed it was the Fours because doctors, but…)

Okay, yeah, it was about a year prior to the attacks, I did do the math right!

And of course the Taurons were causing issues; which given that Adama is ethnically Tauron…

Roslin is…about 85% sure this cover story is just that, I think. Especially when Bill says ‘there was no distress call, no sign of ejection, so I just left.’

So she asks Tory and Bulldog to leave, Tory will see if she can track down any family, and LOL THE LOOK SHE GIVES BILL. “So, you gonna tell me what really happened?” And he just says “you’ll have to trust me. It’s my mess, I’ll fix it.”

And this dream sooooort of supports that the Primary Three is Final Cut!Three instead of Downloaded!Three? Both being on Galactica and also I thiiiiink that’s the same yellow shirt? Except they can access each other’s memories in the datastream…

And the door says ‘end of line.’

I really love the super casual threesome reveal XD (way back when I wrote something about how D’Anna brings Caprica in for it; I found it on an external hard drive a while ago; I can post it somewhere if anyone actually wants to see it)

Hurray for the creepy eye socket and Tigh in his Dark Place still. But he actually is together enough to have this actual conversation with Bill when he comes in to tell him about Novacek. “So are you here to talk to your friend or your XO?” …well, closer than he was last time we saw him, at least, but maybe not fully there yet XD. “Last time I checked I was neither. Oh, yeah, I get it. This is gonna be a little complicated for you, Admiral. You gonna tell him what you did?” “I did what I had to do.” “So tell him.” “It’s not gonna make a difference. It’s in the past.” “You’re equivocating.” “I don’t know why the frak I came here.” [if I ever do actually do a soulmate AU, even though I’m mainly interested in how it would impact Caprica and Athena coming from Cylon culture ((since it would not be an ‘everyone has a soulmate’ AU)) …anyway, there are a Couple reasons why I’d write it out that Bill has two—Laura (romantic) and Saul (platonic) but just. I love the scenes the two of them have together.]

…still doing the thing with Ellen’s clothes, I see.

Saul not quite sure what to do with the hug, lol.

“Drink?” “You have no idea.” “Yes, I do.” …ow.

Ooooh, and that scene paralleled with Bill and Lee talking.

“He still does his share of ass-covering.” LOL.

Aaaaaand, yep, Saul is going to spill the beans but in fairness when he brought it up he thought Bill had told him. “…he didn’t tell you, did he. That son of a bitch.”

“I shot him down.” “If you did, you had your reasons. You were following orders, preventing something worse, right?” “No. I shot him down to avoid detection. Protect the mission. So it wouldn’t be discovered by the Cylons. The sole purpose was to ascertain the likelihood of a Cylon strike.”

Oh man Lee’s face as he’s putting all this together.

“You’re saying that…that we knew they were out there? That they could launch an attack on the Colonies?” “We didn’t know anything for sure. there were theories in some circles that the reason the Cylons had stayed dormant for so long was because they were building a war machine, preparing a strike.” “But I thought…I thought that no one had seen or heard from the Cylons in over 40 years.” “That’s true. …partially. The Admiralty had grown restless with the Adar administration. They thought we were resting on our laurels, unprepared to protect from an attack. My mission was to escort a recon ship just over the armistice line, gather evidence.” “And if the Cylons discovered you across the line…then they would see that as…” “An act of war.” Again, even at this point, the timeline adds up—maybe Bulldog’s mission sped things up, but preparation for the attack was already underway and had been for at least a year; we’ve known that since the miniseries, since Caprica and Gaius had explicitly been together for two years at that point.

“Don’t do this,” Tigh says in the flashback. “Think about it. You don’t want to do this.” “Do you have any idea what it will mean if he’s discovered?” And Bill gives the order to launch a ship-to-ship missile.

“The sooner you admit [that you know it’s true], the sooner you’ll get that haunted look out of your eyes. Sometimes surviving can be its own death sentence. I know that.” Saul. Ow. :((((((

“All those years, I told myself I didn’t know what they were. But I was just lying to myself. Pretending that it couldn’t be true. …it is true. I started it. Initiated it.”

Again. We already know the math doesn’t add up, and I think…I think if he weren’t in the moment of confronting his guilt and all the feelings Bulldog brought up, he would probably realize it, because Boomer had been under his command for two years, which means the Cylons were already sending their agents in at least that long ago. (Although…timeline conflict here; I thought she had only ever been on Galactica?)

And Lee is trying to absolve his guilt. “They put you there. You had no choice. You were one mission, you were one man. One man.” “It only takes one,” Bill says, which is true.

Awwwww, Caprica checking in with D’Anna, being a good girlfriend. “I think God’s trying to tell you something.” “It’s about Gaius, isn’t it?” “No, it’s not. It’s about something much bigger than that.”

Right, this is the part where D’Anna keeps setting herself up to download for Revelation purposes. And ordering the Centurion to forget.

OOOOOH FLASHES OF THE TEMPLE. …and these memory bits come from Downloaded so IDEK anymore.

I really do wonder what the resurrection goop is.

“There’s something beautiful, miraculous, between life and death.” And the other Three and the Six are. Concerned.

Starbuck is watching the footage of the dogfight and has Questions. “Why the hell do they keep missing?” Because, yeah, they’re missing by a fair margin.

Bulldog doing pushups again, sometimes on fists, sometimes on flat hands.

Oooh, and Kara brings her concerns to Saul! “Novacek was hit and smoking, flying straight and level. Any nugget could have made that shot. They let him escape.” “…Cylons don’t do anything by accident.” “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, too.”

…Bulldog, if you choke him with the pipe, he’s not gonna be able to answer your questions…

“When I saw they left that door wide open for me…” “Is that what they did? Did they leave the door open for you? Did they let you escape?” “That’s not what I meant! That’s not the truth! I beat them! I beat them at their own game! I frakking killed her, and I escaped! You trying to take that away from me?!”

Goddamn Tigh is frickin badass at hand-to-hand I love it. Even with one eye and coming off an unknown length of time spent drunk and grieving.

“The truth hurts. But it’s better to know the truth than live a lie. We’re all soldiers. We’re all expendable. We did what we had to do to protect the mission. It’s ugly, but there it is. The Cylons let you go. The question is why? Ask yourself that, Danny. Because up until a minute ago you were doing exactly what they wanted you to do. You almost gave them what they wanted. Tell you a dirty little secret, the toughest part of getting played is losing your dignity, feeling like you are not worth the oxygen you are sucking down. You get used to it. You start to believe it. You start to love it. It’s like a bottle that never runs dry. You can keep reaching for it over and over and over again.” “So how do you put that bottle away, Saul?” “I don’t know. One day, you just decide to…get up and walk out of your room.”

…there’s a Whole Heck Of A Lot to unpack there holy shit. About. About a lot of people, about a lot of storylines. About Boomer, about Gaius, about Ellen, about…damn. Tigh says the coolest things no wonder he grows on me more and more with each rewatch.

((also I do find it interesting that, despite being a lieutenant (i.e., same rank as Kara and Helo and most of the other main military people except Lee were at the start of the series), Bulldog is on first-name terms with Bill and Saul in a way that pretty much no one else is.))

“Your resignation? You have got to be kidding me.” “I said before, we can’t hide from the things we’ve done. I see no other way around this situation. Maybe it’s time, Laura.” “Sit down, Bill. I think you’re being naïve.” “Naïve?” “Did it ever occur to you that the Admiralty may have set you up to provoke a war they wanted? It’s naïve to think that horrible things that we can’t understand have simple explanations, because simple explanations make us feel like we have control when we don’t. We know why the Cylons attacked us. And it wasn’t any one thing, oh my gods. We did a thousand things, good and bad, every day for 40 years to pave the way for those attacks.” AND ALSO THEY WERE DEMONSTRABLY ALREADY UNDERWAY FOR A YEAR BEFORE THE VALKYRIE MISSION. Even though they don’t know much/anything about Caprica’s mission, they do know that Boomer was in place for at least two years, discounting if she actually went to an Academy or all of her records there were backstopped, we don’t know. “Something has to be done.” And she still wants to give him the medal. “This was before I heard about this resignation of yours. So, hmm. I’d like to propose this. You seem hell-bent on paying some kind of penance for whatever it is you think you’ve done. So instead of resigning, why don’t you get up and walk out of here, meet me on the port deck tomorrow evening, and let me pin a frakking medal to your chest?” “I can’t.” “It’s not for you. It’s for them. Stand up there, acknowledge your fleet, and give them what they need: a hero. And that’ll be your penance. Even if it kills you.” She is very much not wrong and I love her.

I wonder who those three random civilians on the dais are.

Aww, Cottle sees him off and there. …may actually be a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist in the fleet??? Given that Cottle is specifically sending him to a Dr. Stoffa and we’ve already confirmed that he’s physically okay. “It’ll take time,” he says. Which. Yep.

And Bill gives him back his uniform, and Bulldog tries to refuse, but. “Once a pilot, always a pilot.” “Yes, sir.” And they exchange another salute, this one much less Tense than at the beginning of the episode.

…I think they reordered these scenes, unless this is Supposed to be a flashback? Since Bill is in his blue uniform with Bulldog but in his dress greys for both the medal ceremony and the next scene in his quarters…I think reordered, since they don’t cut back to the medal ceremony which would’ve made more sense for a flashback.

Saul has an actual Eyepatch now, yay! The real sign his coming out of his dark place.

“I heard you won a medal.” “Yeah. They give ‘em out for anything these days. Good behavior, attendance, playing well with others…” And the LOOKS ON THEIR FACES. The way Saul won’t quite look at him, and the way Bill is looking at Saul, and…I love them. “I need you back in CIC. It’s just not the same without you there, intimidating the inmates.” “No, that’s not what I came here to talk to you about.” “Okay.”

…Saul has been keeping himself shaved while in his dark place.

“You want to tell me what happened to Ellen?” “…I could use a drink.” “Me, too.” I love these two and their relationship A Whole Lot.

Yeah, that was a Weird one, and there are some issues with continuity/etc., but I have to say I genuinely like it, for the Bill and Saul stuff. So, there it is. XD

Unfinished Business:

I have admittedly mixed feelings about this one XD Mostly because I have zero patience for the Quadrangle of Why subplot, and while it’s been around since at least mid-S2, this is where it really kicks in. But I really love the Bill and Laura flashbacks, and some of the other stuff is great.

And also I used As Long As You’re Mine for this episode on my S3 mix and I have never been prouder of a fanmix decision in my life XD

Lee gets the previously-on.

Still can’t take the moustache seriously, though.

First people in the ring are Lee and Helo!

Okay but that flashback location looks like it would have all the same problems as sex on the beach. Namely sand/dirt in places where you really don’t want it.

Lol Helo’s little ‘come at me’ gesture.

Dee is super pretty and deserved so much better.

And even if their relationship is in a weird place, Kara is still inviting Sam over for sex. “That was exactly what I needed.” “Glad to be of service.” And he’s going along with it, but.

((because this is the point where it’s Apropos: https://textsfrombsg.tumblr.com/post/7085786879/derevko-not-even-kidding-i-bet-this-is-what …and also possibly this one: https://textsfrombsg.tumblr.com/post/18017419131/derevko-kara-can-be-pretty-blunt-in-her-texts ))

…Sam also deserved better.

Ah, he decides to hold her bra hostage so they can try to have a Feelings conversation. “I want our marriage back.” “And what if I’m not ready for that?” “I don’t know. Maybe you’ll never be. Maybe because I’m not what you really want after all.”

Yeah, Kara, don’t…don’t hide from your feelings with one man by running to another. ((which is why her having Angry Sex with Kat doesn’t hit the same buttons because that’s a very different relationship dynamic.))

AW YAY FIGHTING AGATHONS IS AN ACTUAL CANONICAL NICKNAME

“He’s a tough little frakker, I’ll give him that.” I love you so much Helo.

Oh, good, they straight-up establish that Cottle’s observing.

Ugh did we Have to bring back the fatphobic jokes again WHY I thought we were DONE with that bullshit.

And Cottle is the one who says ‘nope, Lee is done here.’ And Lee is Not Thrilled at him.

“I’m done, Kara.” “I’m not.” Aaaaaand Dee watching from afar and. Sigh.

“Now who’s biting off more than they can chew, Captain?” “Not me from where I’m standing, Major.” And yeah that was a very. Charged. kiss-or-kill distance moment.

41,422! I guess someone had a baby since last episode??

Okay, flashback to 17 months ago, which is 8 months before the occupation, so 4 months after the initial settlement, give or take. Which means…this episode takes place 5 months after the exodus, give or take a couple of weeks for the actual plot of those four episodes.

“Awww, that’s such a load of crap.” “There’s an open bar!”

I love that outfit on Laura.

“I do not gaze at—” sorry wrong fandom XD and a very different dynamic but the way he looks at her there XD

Aww, her dad was a fight fan!

“Did you throw your tags in there?” “I wish. All the frustrations that I have--” lol the way he cuts off there.

Is Gaeta managing the bookmaking XD

I love Kara’s Challenge smirk.

And yeaaaah of course Starbuck wiped the floor with Hotdog.

XDXD Gotta love a noodle incident. “So then they come back to the locker room with the same set of handcuffs and two straws!”

Awwww, Saul looks so happy in the flashbacks, and I love this little bit with him and Ellen.

“Did I ever tell you how happy I am I married you?” “Not once.” “Then I’ll save it for a special occasion.”

And Gaeta is so happy to talk Infrastructure but then he has to go talk to the finance minister and I love him, he’s so cute. “Oh, my gods, I didn’t think he’d ever leave” LOL LAURA. The one thing she doesn’t miss about the presidency is having to listen to stuff like that XD And then Bill says he’s a good kid and I love all of them so much.

Yes that was a Very Transparent invitation Laura was giving you, Bill XD

And Bill is starting to spot some Discipline Issues he needs to fix in the present.

And awwwww, him and Chief having a drink 18 months ago because Cally is pregnant. “First boy born on Galactica.” I love them a lot. Except Cally doesn’t want him born on the ship. “And neither do I. not if he can grow up breathing fresh air.” And Bill initially refuses to let him.

YES KAT KICK HER ASS I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS BUT I LOVE YOU AND ALSO I REMEMBER WHAT THE NEXT EPISODE IS I’M GONNA CRY.

And Bill is making a point of putting his tags in. “Chief! Get your fat, lazy ass up here.”

And Helo wrapping his hands. “Make ‘em tight.” “Yes, sir.”

…hey was that Zarek in the crowd? Probably not, Richard Hatch is too expensive/important for a two-second cameo but it kinda looked like him XD

And Bill gets off one heck of a punch as soon as the bell rings and everyone’s like OOOOOOOOOOH

“Get up, Chief. We’re just getting started.”

And Chief in the past is trying to put the best face on it. “There’s doctors, sickbay, medicine…” And Cally is trying to look on the bright side, too. And that little kiss, poor babies.

((yeah they totally had sex in that hammock))

“Maybe we should just enjoy this.” “I am.” MY HEART.

“This how you fight your enemies, Chief? How you fight for your life? No excuses. Show me you’re a soldier.” And the look on Chief’s face, omg.

“Is that what you want? Is that what you want, Admiral?”

Aaaaand Kara using this as an excuse to needle Lee.

“You literally drank Anders under the table.” Lol.

I do love all the random couples slowdancing in the background while Lee and Kara are having that conversation.

And Cottle wants Bill to tap out but he refuses and I LOVE LAURA HERE OKAY. “He’s swinging wild, so hit him with a left hook” I LOVE HER SO MUCH YOU GUYS

“You wanna win?” “I’m not gonna win.” Yeah, that’s not the point he’s making here.

And then the next morning Bill changes his mind and lets Chief and Cally muster out. “I’m gonna miss you, Chief. I wanna wish you good luck.” And this music in the background and the look on his face when he smiles and Cally’s FACE. And “I want you guys to have at least a dozen.” “We’ll see about that” and she kisses his cheek and MY HEART.

And the way the same music continues as they go back to the fight scene where Chief is pounding the crap out of Bill.

And then it goes very quiet because he has his Verbal point to make. “When you stand on this deck, you be ready to fight, or you dishonor the reason why we’re here. Now remember this: when you fight a man, he’s not your friend. Same goes when you lead men. I forgot that once. I let you get too close, all of you. I dropped my guard. I gave some of you breaks, let some of you go, before the fight was really over. I let this crew and this family disband. And we paid the price in lives. That can’t happen again.”

And the way Laura takes his arm to help him down awwwwww.

And Tigh says it’s over. “So, what, you’re just gonna call it?” Kara says, because she hasn’t fought Lee yet, which is what she really wants to do.

“It’s over, Kara.” “So, what? You have the guts to try and frak another man’s woman, but not to fight one? I wonder if Dee knew what she was getting. Think she would’ve settled for sloppy seconds?” And he hits her. “Truth stings, don’t it?” “You want a fight, Captain? You’ve got it.”

I really do love her Fight Me smile.

And she took off her tanktop for this one, she didn’t with Hotdog.

And Dee comes in and. The look on her face. Poor Dee. She deserved so much better than this bullshit. (like, yeah, she’s not…it is kind of hard to forget the way she handled ending things with Billy but that doesn’t make the way Lee and Kara screw with her and Sam at all okay.)

“I’m not getting married.” “Then what’s the point, Kara? You love him, right?” “Where are we going with this, Lee?” “That’s the question, isn’t it. Where are we going?” ugh, I’m already exhausted. “Is this how you want to spend [the rest of your life]? Is this who you wanna spend it with?”

And Sam shows up to the dance and finds Dee. “What’s going on?” “What does it look like?” “Looks like they’re trying to kill each other.” “That’s one perspective.”

Again, I feel like fucking in this dirt is a Poor Life Choice. …I mean, not just for all the Relationship Drama reasons, I mean because dirt/sand in Uncomfortable Places. I guess they did at least Try to layer their jackets/etc. on the ground to prevent that but Still.

“Well that makes things more complicated.” “Yeah.” “What are we gonna do?” “What are we gonna do? We accept it. Tomorrow, I tell Dee, you tell Sam.” “Just like that?” “Just like that.” And right after Dee transferred to Pegasus to be with him. “Yeah, we tell them how we feel. We shout it to the skies. What, you don’t think I will?”

This shouting to the sky bit is so dumb in all the best ways and would be Super Adorable if it weren’t for the entire Quadrangle of Why that comes from it.

Also how drunk are you two right now I assume Very.

Aww, Helo cheering Starbuck on.

…you know, Kat is another person who almost never gets called by her actual name? Always her callsign. I don’t know if anyone ever says Louanne out loud.

Aaaaand now it’s going in an MMA direction which is probably against the rules but Kara and Lee are beyond caring at this point, Cottle’s gone, Saul may be, too…

“You look like you had a good time.” LOL.

“It’s been a hell of a morning. You missed all the excitement.” “Problems upstairs?” “No, good things. Kara got married.” “…what?” “Yeah, about an hour ago. Found herself a priest, went down by the river, and got married. …you okay?”

Yeah, Kara, it’s…really not cool to run from your feelings with Sam by going to Lee and run from your feelings with Lee by going to Sam.

“She deserves it. We all deserve to be happy. I gave her permission to muster out, along with Chief and Cally, a few of the others. So it’ll be up to us to make sure there’s no mass exodus.”

…I think this is the same music (or very similar) as what was playing in the Opera House vision with Baltar and Head!Six on Kobol?

Anyway Lee is not listening and…yeah, his face as he goes to meet Sam and Kara.

And Sam is just Elated and missing the other Drama because he just got married!!!!!

“No, it was crazy, she comes down, she wakes me up, she pops the question, drags me down to the priest, and bang, like that, we’re married!” “So it was your idea.” “Yeah. It was my idea.” “…do you guys want a minute to, you know, talk?” And Lee just tells him congratulations and good luck before walking off with a “you’re gonna need it” parting shot. …and going to make out with Dee.

((at least this time, unlike at the end of S1 when he was being an UTTER ASS, he kind of has room/reason to be pissed at her.))

Oh, Sam and Dee in the crowd, watching as Lee and Kara’s fight winds down. They’re both wobbling, but they won’t quit.

And they wind up hugging, and Sam has to look away briefly, and Dee just keeps watching, with this blank but devastated expression. And I just. Those two deserved so much better.

…yeah, I guess my final thoughts on this episode are I really love everything about Bill’s half!

The Passage:

Aaaaaand now I’m gonna cry.

Either Starbuck or Kat for the previously-on, I think.

Ah, yes, the flashback to the JUST HAVE ANGRY SEX episode aka Scar.

…do we ever see any of the male models download? I think we see Ellen later, and I know we’ve seen Sixes and Eights and now Threes…

Aaaand the food processing is contaminated, but Sharon is looking for a route to the planet where they can harvest algae. 7-10 days on current rations if it doesn’t work and oh my god Helo trying to stay Calm and Professional but he’s so worried about whether or not Sharon will make it back through the radiation okay especially since she’s late back and my heaaaaaart.

“I gave it to Cottle.” “Right, after I gave him head.” Lol.

The pilots divvying up crumbs, man.

41,420 again! So…two people died since the last episode, I guess?

Also this vaguely unsettling and largely repetitive piano music for the Basestar stuff. And D’anna quietly moves Gaius’s hand, lol. But he wakes up, she tells him not to wake up Caprica, and that she has things to do. “I’ll never understand what you all do all day long. Where do you suppose she takes herself off to, then?” “You’re not the only one asking that.” “I’m not?” “She’s been doing things.” “…doing things?” But Caprica falls back asleep before answering him.

Awwww, Helo hovering. And Athena’s nose is bleeding, as she goes into decontamination.

And Helo just takes her hands ‘are you okay’ and she gives him a quick nod before reporting to Bill and Lee. “She’s a Cylon, she can handle a radiation dose that big.” “We think!” Helo snaps.

“Nausea from the radiation exposure will take care of our appetites.”

“We’re all flying solo on this mission, so there’ll be no one to bitch slap you if you start to drift or start seeing little toasters on your ass.” Lol, Kara.

Aaaand that’s how Kat (or Sacha) gets caught; one of her friends from her old life catches her. “My name isn’t Sacha. It’s Captain Louanne Katraine. Sacha and you were a long time ago.” Awww, yay, she got promoted! Probably when she was CAG earlier but she didn’t get demoted back again which I appreciate.

Back to the basestar “could you believe I’m lost again” lol Gaius. “If I spoke to the relevant Simon, would I actually find out you were at this meeting?” “Who would tell you anything about my business?” “So, it’s true?” “Caprica?” and he quickly shifts to put her on the defensive in a different direction. “Did you know you have some dried goo in your hair?”

“Do you have any idea what you are accusing me of?” “Yes. Intentionally killing yourself over and over so you can download over and over. But death’s just a revolving door, isn’t it?”

Aaaaaand of course her ex is blackmailing her.

“Since when is it a crime to take care of your own? Remember, I know who you are. I know how to make you happy.” And he goes in for sex, and she rebuffs him.

And all those shots from the top of the stairs…was that to indicate Kara or someone else was listening in?

YAY TIGH IS BACK AS XO!!!

Or he’s hovering outside the door, working himself up to coming in and aww Bill’s little smile.

Felix and Dee are like “don’t make it weird don’t make it weird don’t make it weird” and then people start applauding and my heaaaaaaaaaart.

“Enough! Don’t you people have jobs to do?!” And Bill and Gaeta are the ones not making it a Thing. Bill just quietly says “welcome back”

Tigh looking at the sigil/symbol on the wall <3333333

Helo trying to talk Hotdog through “ease up on the throttle, this is not a viper.”

Aaaaaaand they lost one ship on this first jump through. :((((((

Aaaaand Kat’s patch is black. But she found her ship that she thought she’d lost!

Or maybe not.

Her face when she comes out of the decon shower oh man. :(((((

And Hotdog pukes on the deck. Not for the first time.

She looks around at the other pilots, many of whom are. Not Doing Okay. Helo’s doing better than most, at least. Which is why she picks his patch to steal, probably.

“We gotta get better at tracking our sheep. Racetrack, don’t call out coordinates to the wrong ship.”

And Kara watches Kat go, but helps up one of the others first.

100 marines down, 200 close to it, civilians causing Problems on the other side…

“I heard they were eating paper. Is that true?” “No. Paper shortage.” And they both start laughing because what else can you do at this point.

Oh, this is where Starbuck sees Kat and her ex, because he’s still hanging around, and she’s checking out one of the raptors and sees them arguing on the catwalk.

“So, when you resurrect, you see the faces of the final five Cylons? The ones that no one’s seen.” “Why do you want to know about them?” “I could be a Cylon. I would stop being a traitor to one set of people, and be a hero to another. And have a place to belong. You would help me understand my destiny. Have you seen my face?” “Your face? I can’t remember.” And she’s been trying to draw while it’s still fresh on her mind, but nothing much comes out. “Cylons, humans…we’re all just trying to discover who we are, aren’t we?”

Aaaand Kat’s ex flirting with random girls, and Starbuck approaches him, calling him by name. and then she goes to confront Kat.

“I took the name Louanne Katraine from a girl who died two days before the attack on Caprica. Got me through the background checks.” “Yeah. Times were rough. Keep going.” “I was a drug runner. Enzo was my supplier. What do you want? We were truckers, okay? We just moved stuff.” “People. You see, some think that that’s the way the Cylons infiltrated Caprica. They seeded themselves in the outer colonies and then used criminals to get them into the capital. Anyone who’s found guilty of helping the Cylons is considered a traitor.” “We didn’t carry Cylons.” “How do you know?” “Because nobody knew they looked like us!” “Then how do you know you didn’t?!” and then the way Starbuck leans in. “You think I’m a traitor. You think I’m a traitor?” “No. I don’t think you’re a traitor. You’re a smart young woman. That’s what the old man said. You’re just not smart enough to accept who you are. You see, you lied your way into the company of good people.” And they’re at kiss-or-kill distance and Kat is crying and begs her not to tell Bill. “Please don’t, or I—” “Or what?” “Please just let me tell him myself. Please, just let me. Can you do that?” and Starbuck is…the way she looks at her then. And then she just says ‘gods’ half under her breath and walks away.

And D’Anna and Gaius are going back to the Hybrid.

“This is where you got the idea to start…intentionally downloading? …let’s see what we can find out.” And he approaches the tank, kneels next to her, and rolls up his sleeve. “What do you think you’re doing?” And he closes his eyes and visibly braces himself, slowly lowering his hand into the tank. “Don’t touch it!” but then the Hybrid grabs his arm and looks directly at him which is New. And the Terror on his face omg. “Intelligence. A mind that burns like a fire.” “…yes, I’m here.” “Find the hand that lies in the shadow of the light. In the eye of the husband of the eye of the cow.” And he pulls back and he seems like he’s in pain, and her head returns to its regular orientation. “Are you all right?” D’Anna asks. “It just speaks nonsense, right?” “…I don’t think anything it says is nonsense. The husband of the eye, the eye of the…Hera. Hera, sometimes referred to as cow-eyed Hera. And the husband of Hera…” “is Jupiter. The Eye of Jupiter. It’s written about in the ancient texts. My god…could there be a connection between their gods and ours? What does it mean?” “It’s a location. A planet, hidden in the shadow of light, probably a cluster of stars…that’ll lead us to the Eye of Jupiter, and to the hand hidden in the shadow of light.” As he stares at his hand, and his logic brain keeps going. “Probably some kind of artifact. As in five. Five faces. Now all we have to do is find the right planet.” And he drags his sleeve back down so slowly.

Kat studying her reflection in the mirror, struggling to decide what to do. She finds her hair is falling out. Checks her patch, thinks, remembers “accept who you are.” Goes to see Enzo. “Thieving bastard. You’re going to cost me everything I’ve got.” And then she has sex with him, and running her hand along the raptor, and…yep, breaks into Helo’s locker to steal his patch.

God she looks like hell. Poor Kat.

Oh noooo she lost her last ship too…

And they have to jump, but she refuses to lose another one, so she stays to look for Faru Sadin, even though her patch was already black and—oooh, algae planet has Rings!

…huh, I guess either of the two seats in the front of a raptor can be used by the pilot? Because some of the pilots seem to be on the right and some on the left.

And her stolen patch is black now, too, and. And and and.

Aww, Saul. “Come on, Kat (or possibly kid?). Come on home.”

And that calm look on her face as she spots Faru Sadin and then she brings them home my heart.

“Galactica, Kat. Mission accomplished.” And her face. And. And I know what’s coming. And. :(((((((((

And Helo starts a round of applause for her and and and and she’s barely standing as she comes out of her raptor, but she puts her arms up for Victory and takes off her helmet and reaches up to take off her helmet and then Lee realizes and glances to the side and then she collapses and.

MY HEART. “I don’t think we should end the way we ended.” “Listen. Everybody is stuck with the things they’re not proud of. That, uh, that thing about good people, I…I didn’t mean that.” “Yeah, I know.” And Starbuck gives her sleeping pills. “Enough,” she says. “Take ‘em if you want.” BAWLING. “Thank you.” “…Igottago.”

And the way Bill puts his hand on her shoulder as she flees and goooooooooood.

“Admiral, I…I’m so sorry.” “I’m not here to lecture. I’m letting you know about a promotion. I’m making you CAG again.” “…sir, you know I’m not getting out of here, right?” “You earned it. What you did was harder than facing a bullet. And you did it without putting one other soul in harm’s way. Don’t know if I could’ve done that. I wish there was something more that I could give you.” “No. it’s good. I’d like to be CAG very much. Thank you. …sir, there…there’s a thing. A reason why you might not want to do this. Kara knows what it is, but I wanted to tell you myself.” “I don’t need to know anything other than what I already know. When you were CAG, you protected your people. Made them feel safe enough to be brave. What you were gonna say, does it change that?” and he goes to get a chair to sit with her and BAWL. ING. “Are you…you staying?” “Oh, I’m staying. I love this sickbay, in a way. Reminds me of where my son Zak was born. Carolanne was so happy. She was convinced both times that she was having a girl. So it was a surprise at the end.” “Did you want a girl, too?” “Yeah. Three’s a good round number.” GODDDDDDDDD MY HEART I CAN’T TAKE IT. And then he changes the board and ;____________;

AND THERE’S A BIT OF WANDER MY FRIENDS IN ALL STRINGS AS THE OTHER PILOTS WATCH HIM DO IT AND FUCCCCCCCCCCCCK

And Kara puts her on the memorial wall.

God fucking damn it that episode. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

#bsg #battlestar galactica #the great bsg rewatch of 2022 #i love everyone in this bar

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spenciegoob · 3 years

Text

A Special Kind of Man

this fic swap is for @safertokiss ... I really hope you like it, emma bc this was so fun to write lol

A/N: OMG! this is a part of my first fic swap and the first time I’ve done something like this with so many people, it’s been so cool.

Summary: Spencer Reid was a virgin, you knew that. What you didn’t expect however was how much he was really holding back.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Content Warnings: loss of virginity (spencer), mommy kink, penetrate sex, unprotected sex, creampie

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.4K

___

I always knew Spencer Reid was special, and sure, everyone he’s ever had a conversation with would look at this 24 year old kid spewing facts that no human would think to ever learn about, stockpiling knowledge about, well, everything. I’m sure he amazes people with his mind, I too am amazed when he opens his mouth and the exact number of a certain model Ford truck that is bought every year falls out.

But what else I knew about Spencer that made him more special, more worshipable was beyond anything anyone outside our closed doors would know, and my god would I ever be a fool if I didn’t do just that; worship him.

I would have continued to believe that somewhere down the line, someone would have been smart enough to give that man every piece of love and attention he deserves, because let me be perfectly candid, Spencer was beautiful. His jawline that never lacked the tension of holding back every nugget of knowledge he had stored in that beautiful brain of his, and the eyes like honey that stare up at me with an innocence and desperation alike every time I straddle his lap.

Spencer Reid was not only worth worshipping, but he believed that I deserve that kind of dedication and preach as well.

I never did quite ask if he was a virgin, but in the back of my mind I always knew he had been surrounded by blind fools his whole life in the way he grasped onto my body and whimpered in my mouth every time I perched myself onto him. He would never go further than heavy petting, which meant neither did I. Spencer may be worth worshipping, but I would never push him to receive such.

So, when we found ourselves entangled once again, my legs spread to wrap around his hips as he sat perched against the back of the couch, and I felt the coolness of his hesitant fingers snake their way under my shirt, I was surprised into pulling away from the heavy kiss we were sharing. Immediately his hands, that initially sent a chill hurtling up my spine only to fill me with warmth, returned back to my waist over the shirt, scared that he had done something wrong.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he whispered, looking down and rushing through the words with so much embarrassment and fear of my reaction as if I could ever imagine tantalizing or walking away from him.

“Do you want to?” I asked, and personally thanked whoever was listening that Spencer Reid was a profiler, because even if I wanted to, I couldn’t hide the lust in my eyes, or the breathiness to my voice. He had, unbeknownst to my partner here, left me having to take deep breaths and positively buzzing. Like I said, I always knew he was special.

“Put my hands under your shirt?” Came his reply, and I may have never been a profiler, but I could hear, behind the confusion, fear of my rejection plaguing his mind.

“Yes,” I whispered, my lips grazing his cheek where I placed a soft kiss. Spencer’s grip on me tightened as I moved towards his ear, subconsciously pulling my hips down onto him. “Whatever you want, pretty boy.”

“You!” The exclamation was a shout mixed with a gasp once I sunk my teeth into his ear lobe. At first, I had not thought to take Spencer’s words so seriously. We were in the heat of the moment, hands grasping onto one another and lips finding skin, but then my sweet boy pushed me far back only so he could look in my eyes with the confidence of a man who just won the lottery to state. “I want you.”

There were multiple things I took note of when looking down at Spencer. The first being that he had only taken his eyes off of my own in favor of glancing down at my lips, then back at me before raising his eyebrows in silent question. The second was that he had not stopped squirming underneath me, the hard on trapped in his work slacks having to be uncomfortable by now, and the every few seconds he found friction against my own clothed center could not have been helping as much as he needed.

The third, and final thing I noticed buried deep into blown pupils and wide, boyish eyes was the lust, desperation, the need for me the same I held for him. Spencer Reid wanted nothing more in this moment than to show me he was a good boy, a special boy.

“Are you sure?” I barely got through the last word before Spencer started nodding. “I need words, pretty boy.”

“Yes,” his tone was already breathy, and we haven’t even started. “Yes, please. I’m ready.”

I didn’t wait, grabbing a hold of my sweet boy’s cheeks and bringing his face down to meet our lips. The kiss was slow, passionate of course, but I wanted to take my time with him. The way I see this going is spending carefully calculated time on every part of his body, worshipping him and giving him all of my love in the form of soft bites and deliberate touches. Spencer Reid was handing me all of him, and I would be foolish not to return the favor.

Spencer and I were not going into this blind, because no matter how embarrassed he got, we somehow ended up having a very enlightening conversation in the past, even if at first it had started as a joke.

“Not everything Freud has said in his life was completely untrue,” was what started the argument. Spencer, in his oh so need to discredit the behaviorists and psychoanalysts of the past, jumped at the opportunity to prove me wrong, but I wasn’t going to let him this time. “While he may have gone about it the… wrong way, Freud was onto something.”

I had unbeknownst to Spencer got up from my seat, and was quietly tiptoeing over to him. “You don’t agree that you wouldn enjoy calling me Mommy in bed, pretty boy?”

“I-I um…” Is what ended the argument.

I pulled back, admiring his swollen lips and eyes fluttering open before pulling my shirt over my head, giving Spencer a full view of my now bare chest. The only way I could describe his face was similar to what I would imagine someone’s expression would be if they had made a groundbreaking discovery. His eyes grew wide and his jaw went slack in surprise, plus he didn’t hesitate to shift his gaze to my breasts. I could feel his hands loosen their grip on my waist, fingertips itching to move up my body to feel more of me.

“Can- can I touch them?” He whispered, not taking his eyes off the body part in question. Spencer was still looking at my chest in awestruck, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel the same way I thought of him.; beautiful, worshipable, special.

I nodded my head, grabbing onto Spencer’s wrists where his hands still remained at my sides and slowly dragged them up to chest. There was no more hesitation, he pressed his palms onto my breasts and grabbed them, pushing them together before kneading them.

“Oh my god, they’re s-so soft” he gasped, eyes blowing wide.“I w-want you. Please, M-”

Spencer stopped himself, and I could feel the muscles in his body tensing at the accidental slip of the name I so desperately wanted to pull from him now that I knew he felt the same about it.

“What was that?” I hummed against him, starting to softly grind our aching centers against each other, eliciting the sweetest moans from the sweetest boy while he continued to palm my breasts.

“Please. Mommy, please.” And there it was, my title for the evening and the reason for the growing wetness at my core.

“Only because you asked so nicely.” The buttons on his shirt were harder to undo than I would like to admit, his fingers that have moved on to tweak my nipples pulling my concentration and causing me to moan quietly as I worked. Eventually I accomplished getting his shirt open, and he helped me to push it off his shoulders and off of him.

I ran my hand down his chest, relishing the whimpers falling from his lips and my featherlight touch traveling further to the waistband of his pants.

“Bedroom,” I whispered, attempting to remove myself from his lap in favor of moving this party to a more comfortable place than the couch. Spencer had other plans.

“Wait,” he shouted, grabbing my hand and pulling me back down on top of him. “I-I like it here.”

“On the couch, pretty boy?” It wasn’t that the position we were in wasn’t feasible, but this was Spencer’s first time. I wanted to make it as special as I could, starting with an actual bed.

“I want to be close to you.” If his words didn’t pull at my heartstrings, the way he looked down instead of in my eyes again did.

“Okay,” I agreed, and it was the truth, because the warmth spreading through me at the feeling of our bodies pressed so closely together was intoxicating. Spencer went to go unbutton my jeans, but I stopped him. Not because I didn’t want them off, but because he hadn’t realized that my plans for him included him sitting there and looking pretty like he always does. “Let me take care of you, sweet boy.”

I finished the job Spencer had started, getting up to unbutton my jeans and pull them down my legs. I heard him gasp at the sight of me now in only a pink thong before reaching out and making grabby hands at me. Instead of sitting back on his lap, I sunk to my knees on the floor, repeating the process on his work slacks and stripping him down to his boxers.

“Is this okay?” I asked, running my hands up and down his thighs in the most soothing manner. He responded with a hard nod and an ‘Yes, Mommy,’ shifting his hips closer to my hands in hopes that I would touch him where he craved the most. What kind of person would I be if I didn’t give him what he wanted. I didn’t use my hands, however, lowering my face to where there was an evident wet spot of precum on his boxers and placed a gentle kiss through the fabric on the tip of his dick.

Immediately his hands shot out to grab onto the sides of my face, forcing me away from his member to look up at him insead.

“I- I’m not going to last long like that,” he whispered. “Please, I need you, Mommy, please.”

I stood up, returning to my position perched onto his lap and smashing my lips to his. This kiss was much different than the ones we’ve shared previously, it was rushed, uncalculated and heavy. Tongues fought against each other and I caught his little whimpers in my mouth every time our cores rubbed against each other.

I grabbed onto the waistband of his boxers, asking one last time if he was sure. When I got his permission, I pulled them down to reveal himself to me, and my god was he beautiful. The tip was red and leaking precum, and I used my thumb to gather some and bring it to my mouth. Spencer’s jaw went slack again, watching me suck his cum off my digit and not taking my eyes off his own. I shifted once again to hover over him, pulling my panties to the side.

“Are you ready?” I asked, grabbing his hard cock and readying the tip to my entrance. He attempted to buck his hips up and enter me, but I continued to tease him by rubbing my wetness over him without entering just yet.

“Yes. Please, Mommy.” I sunk down, reveling in the way his eyes grew wide and his hands shot up to grab onto any part of me. Slowly, I inched down, feeling the stretch he provided and we both were moaning at the feeling.

“Is this okay?” I asked once more, getting a nod and a gasp at the feeling of me around him in return. His hips were trying to buck up into me, but I wouldn’t let him, lifting up slowly and slamming back down to the hilt.

“Oh my god,” he praised once again, screwing his eyes shut and panting. I picked up a rhythm bouncing on his cock with feaverish intent, neither of us were going to last long, both of us hypersensitive to each other.

Spencer opened his eyes, and couldn’t find where to look. He started with my breasts bouncing in his face with my increased speed, and moved on to where our bodies met, watching himself disappear into me. Lastly, he stopped at my face, finding me already staring down at him with my mouth agape and mewls escaping me.

From there we gazed into each other’s eyes, Spencer not holding back any of his sweet moans and gasps that sounded like garbled versions of my name. The knot in my stomach tightened further when I shifted slightly and felt his tip graze my sweet spot. He must have been close to, his hips thrusting up softly to meet my own in an attempt to chase his high. I reached down to rub my clit, wanting to fall off the edge together.

“I-I’m gonna cum,” he panted out, and I clenched around him at the sound of him whimpering. “Ah- ah ah, Mommy please!”

I increased the pressure on my clit, the coil in my stomach reaching its end when I shouted “Cum with me, pretty boy.”

Spencer’s hands gripped onto my waist with bruising pressure as we reached our highs together, crashing down with a shout of each other’s name as I felt his cum cover my pulsing walls. The feeling was indescribable, extending my orgasm and milking him for everything he has.

I slumped forward, resting my head against his sweaty shoulder as we attempted to catch our breaths. Spencer’s arms wrapped around me fully, pulling me closer to him and nuzzling his face into my neck, the sentiment making me smile.

“Are you okay?” I asked once our breathing returned to normal and the cloudiness of my post organsm brain melted. He just pulled me impossibly closer, laying kisses on the expanse of my neck he could reach.

“I’m more than okay. That was- that was-”

“Yeah, I know.” I giggled at his awestruck tone, mimicking his movements and nuzzling deep in his neck, breathing in his sweet scent.

Like I said, Spencer Reid was a special kind of man.

___

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1K notes · View notes

not-poignant · 3 years

Note

I was thinking of how much work and effort you've poured into FFS and how you've had burnout and health issues since you've been writing it, and then I thought about how horrible Ef would feel knowing someone was experiencing all of that while trying to write his story and then I just felt really sad and protective of both of you.

I hope you're taking care of yourself. <3

I mean, I don't really like to think of it that way, because I get enough guilt from myself (and sometimes other people irl) and I don't want to feel guilty imagining what a fictional character feels re: how I live my life. And 'this person feels terrible about how you're treating yourself so maybe just don't treat yourself that bad so they don't feel terrible anymore' is like very much guilt-tripping. So you don't need to think about it that way anon!

Efnisien can't feel terrible about it, because he's a fictional construct, and I created this version of him mostly to help me get through the pandemic, and the story has very much succeeded at that, and I've talked about that a lot! :)

But quite aside from that - I've had burnout and health issues since I started writing. In fact, I started writing Falling Falling Stars as a way of coping with an even more severe burnout caused by The Ice Plague. It literally came into being as a comfort and catharsis fic for my own self-interest. I didn't really expect anyone to read it, except for like two people, my beta - who loves Efnisien - and...actually my beta lol.

I've always been very honest about being an ill writer. Chronically ill both in terms of mental illness and physical illness. That didn't start with Falling Falling Stars, and you may have missed it before, especially if you only came in to start reading re: the last year or so, but it's like... I have a big track record being very honest about everything from chronic suicidality, to cancer treatments, to burnout due to working too hard and seeing a therapist about it. I've taken long Patreon hiatuses, I didn't work on The Golden Age that Never Was for 8 months, like, me being burnt out, or exhausted, or sick, did not start with Falling Falling Stars.

It's one of the main reasons I write, because if I was healthier, I would have ended up in a different career choice. I write a lot of trauma recovery because I live a lot of trauma recovery. I tend to write characters who aren't actually going through as much as I am, because it starts to become one of those 'that seems unrealistic, no one is dealing with ALL of that stuff at the same time.' But some of us are.

Falling Falling Stars has been an incredibly helpful process for me, even though I've been sick and burnt out at times while writing it. And I've talked a fair bit about that too (maybe you've missed those posts, or maybe it's just easier to focus on the burnout ones). But here's a whole thread about it that I posted on Twitter. There's like 6 listed reasons in that thread re: how Falling Falling Stars has helped me so much, so I think reading that might help. :)

But even if Falling Falling Stars was really hard to write, and was causing more burnout, etc. I don't think imagining my characters feeling really awful about it, or thinking that they feel terrible on my behalf, is a very motivational thing for me to think about. I already have people in real life that wish I didn't push myself too hard, and you know what I do when I feel guilty? Hate myself. Try to hide my problems from them. And conceal the truth from others. You know what it doesn't do? Magically fix the fact that I work too hard to cope with incredible levels of incurable 24/7 pain, fatigue, PTSD and illness. I really really don't need to create more of that in my own head, y'know? Guilt might seem motivational, but it's not really that motivational.

I'm super happy that Efnisien doesn't feel terrible about how I live my life because he's just a character, and he doesn't feel anything about me at all. He doesn't even know I exist. Writing stories is a place I can go to not experience extra guilt and the difficulties of interacting with real people who might go: 'You know I feel awful that you treat yourself this way' and make my problems about themselves, and make me feel responsible for something that isn't actually my issue at the end of the day. (If they feel that bad about it, probably they need to either not be my friend, or see someone about how to cope with their own helplessness, because if other people truly thought that kind of thinking would fix me, I'd be fixed). I know you mean well anon, it might even be a way of thinking that really helps you! And if it does, I'm really glad that it does.

But I'm not looking to feel guiltier about being a sick person who engages in unhealthy behaviours sometimes to cope with being a sick person. And I love Falling Falling Stars, and I've already cut back on how much I was writing it compared to this time last year. (Which I've also mentioned in posts).

I cannot avoid burnout. Even if I did nothing, eventually being this sick just runs my body and brain into the ground. Sometimes waking up and having a shower makes me so tired I start crying and have to go back to bed. I'd rather experience burnout while also getting to feel productive, engaging with people online, enjoying myself and getting to write someone's trauma recovery! Rather than just by lying in bed, still getting brain fog, still feeling agony, still being exhausted, etc. Like obviously I need to learn to strike a balance with it, but I'm better at it than I used to be.

Take care, anon!

#asks and answers #personal #mental health #mental illness #efnisien ap wledig #falling falling stars #fae tales #fae tales AU #burnout isn't something that anyone else needs to fix #and it's not something i can fix either #it's literally a fundamental part of my reality #yes sometimes i make it worse #but sometimes other people make it worse #and sometimes i make it better #i don't need my characters to come to life and start making me feel bad #for feeling bad #by telling me how 'terrible' they feel #idk anon some people's coping mechanisms aren't other people's coping mechanisms and that's okay #and FFS did not in any way create any new problems that i didn't have for two and a half decades before that

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jawritter · 3 years

Text

Twelve Days Of Christmas

Chapter 7

Summary: Dean never realized that Y/N missed Christmas until he turned off an annoying Christmas song on the radio on the way home from a hunt, now he will make it his personal mission to give her the Christmas he misses so much, and if he plays his cards right, maybe he will give her what he has wanted to give her for so many years, himself.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Written For: @spnchristmasbingo

Square Field: decorating

Word Count: 1564

Warnings: Fluff, don’t want to give to much away after that.

A/N: This is to help me catch up on my SPN Christmas Bingo card lol Chapter 8 will post tomorrow! I knew chapter will post every day until Christmas! I know I’m insane lol. This is a real time fic collection and all mistakes will be my own! Please do not copy my work! Hope you all enjoy these!!

**SERIES MASTERLIST** **MASTERLIST** **BECOME A PATREON**

You don’t remember the last time you slept that well. For some reason, you were beyond exhausted by the time you went to bed last night, probably the alcohol, but still, you appreciated the decent night's sleep nonetheless.

Normally your sleep, much like most hunters, was plagued with nightmares. Since Dean and yourself had been sharing a bed in the Cabin you, as well as Dean, seemed to be nightmare-free. Even if he did sleep as far away from you as the bed would allow, arms folded like a corpse.

Rolling over with a sigh you take in the empty bed next to you. It was cold, Dean had been up for some time. The darker than usual sky outside told you that you were probably in for another day indoors, so why was he out of bed already?

You brush off the feeling of rejection that tried to slip its way into your subconscious. If Dean had a problem with you, then why the hell would he have gone so far and done all this for you? It didn’t make sense for someone who didn’t like someone to want to spend this much time with them, doing all the nice things Dean had done for you over the last few days.

“Calm the fuck down Y/N, and stop overthinking,” you scold yourself, kicking off the covers and making your way into the living area of the cabin in search of Dean.

As soon as you descend the little set of stairs you find him easily, sitting with his coffee cup in his hands, and eyes staring at the fire he had going in the fireplace, the tree standing in the corner, put together and fluffed in the corner of the room, waiting on you to decorate later today.

You stood there watching him for a moment, with his sleep tossed hair and sweatpant clad legs spread out comfortably as his eyes watched the hungry flames dance over the logs, consuming them and turning them into ash.

You reach for your phone in your pocket, and quickly snap a picture of him. Even with the tired, whether-worn look on his face, he was still just as breathtakingly handsome as he was when he was in his late 20’s. Maybe even more so now. That boy you met long ago had been replaced with the man you now loved today. It was done through fire, and torment, the broken pieces that were once discarded, now at the hands of the potter inlaid with gold and turned into a beautiful piece of kintsugi pottery. Unique in his own right, and heartbreakingly beautiful; made so by his own brokenness.

As you descend the last step his eyes drifted from the fireplace to you, and a warm smile spread across his face, masking the tired expression from before.

“What are you doing up so early,” he asks as you drift your way to the coffee pot, pouring yourself a generous amount before taking your place next to him on the couch.

You shrug, knowing his eyes were still watching you closely as you crossed your legs and took a sip of the dark, steaming liquid, savoring its bitter taste on your tongue. “I woke up, and you were already up, so why not get up too.”

Dean hummed in response, offering you the blanket that was on the back of the couch.

“Got her all setup,” he said, nodding in the direction of the tree. “All we got to do is decorate. It’s gonna be another snow day, so I figured we’d spend today making this place look a little more festive. I know it’s a piss poor day 7, but tomorrow we can get back into more exciting stuff once the snowstorm clears.”

Sitting your coffee down on the little table in front of the two of you, you take his hand in yours, determined to get through to him.

“Dean, not every day has to be some grand plan all day! I’m perfectly happy decorating the tree and just spending the day with you. When’s the last time we actually decorated for Christmas? Don’t feel like you have to keep me busy. You’ve done so much for me already.”

Dean’s eyes drifted across your face, searching, he was always so hard on himself, he was always trying to carry everyone else’s burdens, it was unfair that no one ever tried to carry him.

“I just want this to be the Christmas you deserve, Y/N/N.”

“Dean, you’ve already given me that, and so much more. I’ll never forget this, even if I’m lucky enough to live old and develop Altimeters, I will still remember this time here with you. It means that’s much to me.”

Dean’s eyes traveled to your lips, you didn’t realize you had been gravitating closer to him as you were sitting here talking to him, but right now you were so close to him you could feel his coffee kissed breath fanning over your skin.

Before your brain could even process what to do next, Dean deliberately leaned closer to you and tentatively captured your lips in his, giving you a sweet, slow kiss that was almost not even there, but at the same time, it was enough to set your heart soaring around the room and light your world on fire all at once. It took a second for your brain to catch up with your body, but as soon as your lips begin to move slowly along with his, he deepened the kiss, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him, throwing everything he had into it; slipping his tongue across yours as your lips parted with his own, stealing your breath away from you.

When he pulled away from you he kept his eyes close and leaned his forehead against your own, both of you breathing as if you had run a marathon, the room itself even felt charged with a current of sorts, igniting around you like the air before a southern thunderstorm.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he confessed earnestly, and looking into his green eyes, still pale in color from the morning light you thought surely you must have fallen and hit your head on a hunt, or this was all some fever-induced dream.

But it wasn’t a dream or a fever-induced hallucination. This was real, Dean was real, and this whole thing was hanging entirely on your acceptance or rejection. He’d taken a chance, and Dean was quite fragile when it came to his emotions, you knew this was the last time you would ever get this chance again if you pushed him away.

“And I’ve wanted you to do it since the day I met you.”

The wide, relieved smile that spread across Dean’s face could honestly have stopped the world from moving in its tracks if they saw it. Before his lips could reconnect with your own, his phone began to ring loudly on the coffee table, cutting through the still air around you. Sam’s name flashing in bright letters across the screen.

“You better get that,” you tell him, looking at the clear dilemma developing in his features. “It might be important.”

Reluctantly, Dean reached over, grabbing the phone and answering quickly. “Make it quick Sammy.”

You watched as Dean’s features transformed from annoyed to confusion, and your nerves started to get the best of you.

“Sure, that’s fine Sammy, what time?... Okay great...see you then.”

Dean hung up the phone, leaning over and placing another tentative kiss to your lips before lacing his fingers with yours.

“We better get started decorating,” he said, watching the relief spread across your features as he did, and his heart swelled at the idea that you still wanted to say with him, that he hadn’t just overstepped and ruined everything, he just couldn’t wait any longer.

“What did Sam want?” you ask, still a little concerned.

“He and Eileen are going to drive up here to see us tomorrow, he swears nothing’s wrong, he just wants to tell us in person. So I figure we get this place in shape, maybe fix a little family dinner and our Christmas with the family tomorrow, that way Christmas morning It can be just me and you.”

A smile tugged at the corner of your lips as you reached for the box of decorations sitting at the foot of the coffee table, and handed Dean the string of lights to untangle.

“Well, looks like we better get started then.”

Dean grabbed the lights from your hands, kissing you quickly again before starting to work on the ball, a new excitement hanging in the air around the cabin. Whatever Sam had to say, good or bad, Dean seemed really excited, and his excitement was contagious.

Or was it the fact that you were certain your heart would never come down from floating around the raters from that kiss? You didn’t even care what it meant at this point, all you cared about was Dean was kissing you. That was something you never thought would happen. If he gave you nothing else for Christmas, that would be enough.

Forever Tags:

@deandreamernp

@forgetthisbull

@miraclesoflove

@deanwanddamons

@rvgrsbrns

@chevyharvelle

@onethirstyunicorn

@i-love-superhero

@lyss-dw79

@magssteenkamp

@lemondropirwin

@squirrelnotsam

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@defenderrosetyler

@screechingartisancashbailiff

@thecreatiivecorner

@vicmc624

@busy-bee-angel-misska

@justanotherwinchester

@brilovesdeanwinchester

@idksupernatural

@lyarr24

@amandamdiehl

@miraclesoflove

@emoryhemsworth

@dean-winchesters-gardian-angel

@softsebastian

@tatted-trina6

@anaelsbrunette

@hayleeharling

@flamencodiva

@coldmuffinbanditshoe

@dirty-pan-goblin

@itmejado

@supernatural3002

@teresa-67

@thoughts-and-funnies

@hearteyes-j2

@miss-nerd95

@writers-whirlwind

@peaches007

@bobbie3939

@lunarmoon8

Jensen and Dean’s Babe

@akshi8278

@love-jackles-37-blog

@supernatural-bellawinchester

@bobbie3939

Dean babes

@forgetthisbull

Series tag list:

@440mxs-wife

#dean winchester #spnchristmasbingo #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester series #dean winchester fanfic #dean x you #dean x reader #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #jawritter #jensen ackles #twelve days of christmas

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beewolfwrites · 3 years

Text

And When I am Formulated - Reference List (for those who wanted one)

I know some of you liked the idea of this when I suggested it, so I've collected all the literature references from AWIAF.

I’ve also tried to include some of the reasons why they were used, you know... just in case you were wondering what’s up with the weird chapter titles :)

-------------------------

Chapter 1 + 6: ‘The diving board’

- This is from the short story, Forever Overhead, by David Foster Wallace.

- I recommend reading it, simply because of how strange and alienating it is. However, I don’t recommend it if you’re currently experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts, simply because there’s an undercurrent there.

- It’s mainly about societal systems and feeling constrained by the pointless processes that make up modern society. I figured the MC felt this way long before she got to the Borderlands.

Chapter 1: ‘John Steinbeck’s characters’.

- They always play rummy in Of Mice and Men for some reason.

Chapter 4 + 22: ‘The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase...’, ‘until human voices wake us’, ‘forcing the moment to its crisis.’

- These are all from The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot.

- Although I have very, very mixed feelings about Eliot for a number of reasons, this poem pretty much helped summarise the story.

- Chishiya pretty much had her ‘formulated’ from the very beginning, having already fixed her position in his plans. However, the only thing he didn’t have formulated was his own feelings.

- Of course, the actual poem is about a proposal, which is why I couldn’t give you this list before :D

Chapter 4: Utopia by Thomas More.

- I mean, this pretty much explains itself haha.

Chapter 7 : ‘A Single Green Light’

- This is from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

- Just like the green light on Daisy’s dock is a source of comfort to Gatsby, Kuina and Chishiya become a green light to the MC as they find her comfortable clothes and come to her aid in the militant situation, respectively.

Chapter 8: ‘Mad to Live, Mad to Talk’

- The Road by Jack Kerouac.

- This line features in a famous quote that was too long to include as a title: “the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars”.

- I thought this would represent how frenzied the beach is.

- Everyone lives each day to the fullest, but it’s transient as they’re killed off every night.

Chapter 10: ‘A Train Whistle’

- From Concerning the Sound of a Train Whistle in the Night by Haruki Murakami.

- This is such a beautifully written short story. It’s so simple, yet it explains love so well.

- The MC pretty much explained this one, but as I’m sure you all know, she ends up becoming the train whistle he needs to cut through the emptiness.

Chapter 11 + the underlined quote: ‘Without a Soul’, ‘I’m tired of being enclosed here...’

- Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte.

- Chishiya rejects the idea of being tied to someone, despite his instincts telling him the opposite.

- It’s an argument of rationality vs imagination both on a ‘souls exist/don’t exist’ scale and ‘I love her/I don’t need her’.

- It was so, so tempting to have that mystery underlined quote be something romantic, but instead it felt more real to have it be something that reflects how far the MC has come.

Chapter 11: ‘In books, I could go anywhere I wanted. I could be someone else. I wasn’t alone.’

- This was actually inspired by Matilda, by Roald Dahl.

- Particularly this line: “So Matilda’s strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone”.

- That line has always made me cry.

Chapter 12: The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

- It’s widely believed that Gregor Samsa’s father, who abuses him after he has turned into a cockroach.

- I figured it could also reflect the MC’s father, as she’s spends the next day after the argument and Niragi’s attack focused on this book and plagued by it.

- If books are usually her safe space, it has now been contaminated.

Chapter 14: ‘Half-Sick of Shadows’

- The Lady of Shalott by Alfred Tennyson.

- For those who haven’t read this beautiful poem yet, the Lady of Shalott is bound to her tower by a curse that will come into action if she ever looks out of the window. So, she uses a mirror to look out instead, but this only makes her unhappy as she watches others’ reaching happiness while she can only experience it through reflections.

- Like the Lady of Shallot, the MC decides to take her life into her own hands, instead of letting her family hold her back.

Chapter 15: ‘Love and Squalor’

- To Esme, with Love and Squalor, by J.D. Salinger.

- In this whole chapter, the MC and Chishiya alternate between love and distrust. They’re somewhere in-between at this point in their relationship.

Chapter 18 + 19: ‘Do Not Go Gentle’

- As you probably already know, this is Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas.

- This was included via a request, but it works perfectly for the Borderlands since everyone’s fighting death every single game, and they’re willing to do whatever it takes to survive.

- It can also refers to their plan, and the idea that Chishiya and Kuina will go to extremes (like setting up Arisu) in order to escape the beach.

Chapter 19: ‘I May Think of You Softly’

- The Crucible by Arthur Miller.

- Although The Crucible has nothing in common with this fic, this quote itself summarises the MC’s feelings the best: “I may think of you softly from time to time. But I will cut off my hand before I’ll ever reach for you again”.

- Even though she can’t stop loving him, she refuses to give in to his influence.

Chapter 20 + 21: ‘Sound and Fury’

- Macbeth by Shakespeare.

- The full quote in Chapter 20 is from the famous “tomorrow and tomorrow” speech.

- Life is simply excessive noise shouted by an idiot, but ultimately is pointless. The ‘idiot’ can be herself, for loving Chishiya; Niragi, for his relentless pursuit at getting back at Chishiya; or even the players themselves for trying so hard to survive.

- Long story short, everything seems pointless since they’ll all probably die anyway.

Chapter 21: ‘Tread Softly’

- From He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven by Yeats.

- In essence, she’s begging Chishiya to stop wiping his feet all over her dreams, lol.

Chapter 24: ‘And the Rest is Silence’

- This is from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, and are also Hamlet’s last words.

- Of course, it refers to death. It’s the last chapter, after all.

- However, it’s just the death of the first stage, and the next one won’t be so silent :)

#alice in borderland #aib #imawa no kuni no arisu #chishiya #chishiya shuntaro

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duhragonball · 3 years

Text

Cult Classic

I had a really exhausting week, so I’m going to try to chill out by writing this thing about cults that’s been bouncing around in my head since... oh, like January 6th? For some reason? But it’s also about my insanely long OC fanfic slash vanity project slash concept album. Join me, won’t you?

Okay, so back in... geez 2018? Has it been that long? Around October 2018 I started working out the details for the big climax of the “1000 years ago” section of my fanfic. From the start I had this idea that the Legendary Super Saiyan would be locked into a death struggle with pretty much the entire Saiyan population, led by a Saiyan King who just can’t handle being upstaged. But I had to figure out a lot of details to make that actually work. What I finally ended up with was the Jindan Cult.

Why a cult? Because I wanted my King character to be the main villain, but also be physically weaker, but also he needed to be powerful enough to challenge the heroine. I came up with all these different ways to beef up his power level without making him a Super Saiyan himself, but ultimately I wanted him to have an army of Siayans at his back. That led me to consider some sort of magic elixir that would make them all stronger, but especially the king, since he’s ultimately in this for himself. At first, I considered having him mind-control all of his goons, but I spent the mind control nickel in earlier arcs, and I’ll have to use it again later, because Towa and Demigra use it. Then I thought of drug addiction, which is sort of like mind control but not literal brainwashing or anything like that. And that led me to the cult concept.

One major inspiration for me was the real-life cult called “NXIVM”, which made the news back in 2018 when their leaders started getting arrested, including “Smallville” star Allison Mack. Every time I read about it, it felt like something from a movie, but it was real. I guess the celebrity angle made it more bizarre to me, because it’s sort of like “Hey, this isn’t just some group of randos; someone you’ve heard of is in this thing.” Not that I ever paid much attention to “Smallville”, but you get the idea. She didn’t just join NXIVM, she eventually became one of the top recruiters. Some of the character arcs in my fic were my own attempt to understand how a person goes from Point A to Point B.

The big plot hole, though, in my mind, was that I came up with this whole master plan for the bad guys, but it involved sending wave after wave of Saiyan cultists to die in pointless, unwinnable battles against Luffa. I couldn’t have them win much, because if they beat her, they’d just kill her, and the story would be over. It struck me as fishy that these Saiyans would sign up for a war where the casualty rate is 100%, but I tried to lampshade it as best I could. “Yeah, all those other chumps couldn’t beat Luffa, but I’ll pull it off because I’m special!” It still seemed a bit unlikely.

But then 2020 happened, and I guess the main thing I learned from that year was that people will accept almost anything in order to believe a comfortable lie. The joke I’ve seen on the internet is that we need to retire the expression “avoid it like the plague”, because it turns out a lot of people don’t actually avoid plagues very well at all. The horrifying thing about COVID-19 is how easily people will accept the climbing death tolls. “Oh, well this person was already in bad health, so they would have died eventually anyway.” I don’t want to get too political here, but I’m pretty sure a lot of the anti-mask, coronavirus-is-a-hoax crowd are the same people who made up tall tales about “death panels” in Obamacare. “They’re gonna euthanize your grandma!” they would say, but now they say your grandma is acceptable losses if it means reopening bars and restaurants.

Actually, I do mean to get political, because holy fuck, Qanon stormed the Capitol Building. Look, if you don’t believe Joe Biden won the election, I don’t know what to tell you, except please get far away from me, right now. If you’re not familiar with Qanon, a few years ago some guy on an image board posted a bunch of cryptic messages and claimed to be an important government figure who would know about important things. People started “deciphering” his “clues” and when he stopped posting new ones they started inventing their own “clues” and interpreting them any way that suited them. This led to an overarching narrative that Donald Trump was actually part of this massive sting operation to arrest hundreds, maybe thousands of left-wing politicians, celebrities, and whoever else. Any day now, he was supposed to have Hilary Clinton arrested, and also JFK Junior would somehow show up and help him, even though he’s been dead for 22 years. Every day, these Qanon guys would add on more bizarre lore to their “theories”, and every day none of their predictions would come true. Then Trump lost the election, which put them in a bind, because their whole mythology is based on the idea of him saving the world as POTUS, and now he wasn’t even going to be POTUS for much longer.

I’m pretty sure this had a lot to do with the lies about election fraud. Trump himself refused to accept defeat, and his supporters didn’t want to accept it either, so they all told each other that it wasn’t real, and they believed each other so much that they dug in their heels. But then they’d take this stuff to court and the judge would be like “Uh, what evidence do you have of mass voter fraud?” and they would just be like “lol nvm!” I mean, if there was proof for any of this, why would they not want a judge to see it? But for Qanon, it was more than just being sore losers. They needed all their whackamaroo predictions to come true, and Trump losing re-election would upset the applecart.

So then they started telling themselves that they could win this thing through the boring certification process. I think it was like, December 14 when all the states had to certify their results. So they held out hope that nothing was over until then. Then they pinned their hopes on the Electoral College, and that there would be enough faithless electors to hand Trump the victory, in spite of the voters. I found this one amusing, since I used to see tumblr suggesting the same thing back in 2016, when they were still trying to come up with ways for Bernie Sanders to win.

Then they decided Mike Pence could fix everything, because on Jan 6, Congress would officially count the Electoral Votes and formally declare the winner, and Mike Pence would step in and overrule the whole thing, because the Vice-President oversees that process. Except he just oversees it, he can’t legally change the outcome, especially on a whim. And then the riot at the Capitol happened, and I’m pretty sure all these Qanon types thought it would mark the beginning of a nationwide uprising, with all seventy-odd million Trump voters going apeshit, but it... didn’t work out that way.

Then they convinced themselves that everything was building to January 20, because the innauguration was actually a clever trap, and once Joe Biden took the oath of office, he could then be arrested for treason, so you see, they had to make it look like Trump lost the election, because it was the only way to fool Joe Biden into incriminating himself... or... something. But Jan 20 came and went, so the latest fallback position I heard was that there’s a double-secret REAL inauguration day, and it’s in March, and the January 20 one isn’t legitimate, even though Trump was inaugurated on January 20, 2016, but whatever. That, or the guy we see in the White House now is actually Trump disguised as Joe Biden, or a Joe Biden android or something.

I think I sort of understood that Qanon is a cult, but I didn’t really put the pieces together until the events of January unfolded. Pre-November, it just seemed like a conspiracy theory, without any real timetables or prophecies, like Flat Earth. But once the end of the Trump Administration was in sight, it really started to look like all the doomsday cults I’ve heard about over the years. The predicted events wind up failing to come true, and they invent new predictions to explain away the old ones. It’s not about the veracity of the claims as much as the claims themselves. People want to believe there’s this whole elaborate explanation for everything. They wanted to believe that Trump was this hypercompetent superheroic messiah, because the alternative is to face the uncertain reality: that he had no idea what he was doing, and real people were going to suffer for it.

I think I sort of worked that idea into my fictional cult, but I backed into it. NXIVM was a sex cult, not a doomsday cult, or an elaborate conspiracy theory, so I was mostly fixated on all the depraved things the cult could do to its members. But they all share the same lure: a belief system that promises to make everything fit. I’m not sure what the hook was for NXIVM, but Allison Mack didn’t go in thinking about how much fun sex trafficking would be. That came later, after she was convinced that NXIVM had all the answers, and one of those answers involved sex crimes, apparently. In the same vein, Qanon attempted to explain mass arrests and executions by claiming that Hilary Clinton eats babies or something. “Well, I don’t want babies to get eaten, so I guess breaking into the Capitol building seems like a reasonable course of action.”

Weighed against real life, a bunch of Saiyans accepting a 100% casualty rate doesn’t seem so outrageous. It also helps that sometimes the leaders of these groups can buy into their own hype, and think they’re infallible when they’re really not. This week, I started reading the Darth Plagueis novel again, and I’ve seen the Sith from Star Wars referred to as a cult, but I never gave it a lot of thought until I noticed that Plagueis buys into the whole Dark Side of the Force thing a little too hard. At times, he’ll wax philosophical about how the Jedi are the real bad guys when you think about it, and he’s not just saying that to be manipulative. He honestly believes that the Sith can save the galaxy from decline, which is stupid and hypocritical, because they’re the ones causing all the decline. I always got the impression that Darth Sidious understood that it was all about accumulating power as an end unto itself, and any high-minded talk of necessary evil was just to keep the rubes in line. Rise of Skywalker plays into that idea nicely. He somehow survived Episode VI, but he let the Empire collapse, because if he can’t rule it, he doesn’t want it to exist at all. But he’s still playing himself, because he thinks he can win by following the same failed ideology that got all the previous Sith Lords killed.

That’s pretty much all I have to say about it right now. I need to move on to other topics, because Towa’s not doing a cult thing, so my fic is moving in a different direction. But I feel better for getting this out of my head.

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gayregis · 4 years

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blood and wine rewrite au basic layout

i already posted something like this before but i cant find the post so im just rewriting all of this from the top of my head

everyone’s repurposed roles:

geralt - he’s still a witcher. he’s geralt of rivia. obviously. i don’t have time or interest to think about how to rewrite the entire witcher 3 game to be lore-friendly, but i assume there would be less triss and more dandelion involved in it. for this let’s just take him as geralt having done everything in tw3 but with the personality of geralt from the books because geralt from the games doesn’t have much of a strong personality good for writing or thinking about.

regis - a bitch. nah jk. he’s same regis but just what he was like 100 years ago when he got his head cut off. he’s less spiralling-into-doom than he was then, and is less desperate and hopeless overall, but is slowly getting there once again. he doesn’t remember anything about learning from his mistakes and becoming a good person, because this regis didn’t get any of that. to this regis, it’s like no time has passed at all since he died, and he’s ready to start partying again without any thought of the consequences. he’s moved to toussaint because everyone’s already tipsy there and the north is plagued by war so it’s not a really great source to be drinking from (like if there was a sewage leak near the vineyard you sourced your wine from). he doesn’t remember anything about maturing up or about becoming a surgeon or about the hansa, so that sucks.

dettlaff - not a fucking maniac. actually a character geralt will likely spend a good amount of time talking to. total character overhaul because he does not have a personality in the actual DLC. he arrived in toussaint because he had heard that regis had returned and wanted to fix things wih him, he had previously left him.

syanna - not a fucking dumbass, yet still naive in her own way due to being blinded with the promise of power. in this, she is planning to stage a coup on the duchy (because she is the older sister, so it IS her right by law) and she supports regis’ slow dive again into uncontrollable insanity because it helps her prop up rumors that her sister’s reign is ineffective against real threats and is cursed. but this alliance does not go as she planned...

orianna - in this, she is the owner of a gladiatorial school (instead of an orphanage), and is still like in canon a wealthy and influential individual of beauclair, yet reclusive from human society. she is regis’ best friend and goads him on, because she never fixed her own issues with alcoholism and now is elated to have him back and forgetting that they had disagreements which drove them apart in the first place. they’re best friends (NO romance) and it’s just good to see how insanely different orianna and geralt are because they’ve both been regis’ close friends at different points in time.

the purpose of this:

fix regis’ relationships with the vampires. he slowly drove all of his good friends away by going off the deep end and many are likely wondering whatever happened to him. but books regis would never consider partying like that again, so we bring the party regis back and then slowly de-escalate him into normal books regis again, and we finally get closure with him and his old friends.

cool dramatic stereotypical vampire shit. i’m talking about a final battle or conversation in a giant dark castle with large open windows and billowing drapery.

regis’s hairstyle

give syanna actual agency as a character and give her motivations that extend beyond pure revenge (although they are related to revenge) and make her more unique so she is not just a ripoff of renfri.

demonstrate anna henrietta and geralt’s relationship as it was in the books. he was genuinely intimidated by her and i interpret him as being jealous of her relationship with dandelion, so he in practice was quite withdrawn around her as she was her overemotional and embellished self

give dettlaff an actual character, holy shit. i hate how sorely underdeveloped he is in the game. i understand why because it’s not meant to be writing, it’s meant to be a video game, but come on. i hate having the vampire with the cool character design be the ultimate villain of the whole narrative. in this, he’s someone geralt can talk to and sees himself in. he’s emotionally mature and doesn’t mix with the other vampires. since we already know what regis is like, we don’t have to sit through dettlaff making excuses for him and trying to describe what his character is like. we also get a better view of regis’ past through dettlaff’s lense.

give orianna an actual character, holy shit. i hate how they didn’t even try with her and just used her as a “surprise, she is quite evil!” gimmick. have her actually have a larder for blood that is lore-friendly yet still jumps out at the audience as morally wrong. give her more personality and development.

examine regis’ backstory without actually getting into every single year of those 4 centuries. we can examine how it started good, turned bad, went worse... there’s a lot of loss involved and i think this would be nice to process it.

roughly what happens (under cut because if i ever do write this fic out, this is spoilers, literally the synopsis of the whole thing):

anna henrietta sends envoys to geralt. they establish that the duchess has no conflict with geralt and that her conflict was with dandelion, only. she has requested his help because he effectively dealt with many monsters while he was in beauclair and established a trustworthy reputation (also, he’s famous, and toussaintoirs are superficial). instead of the beast of beauclair killing particular victims, it’s the countryside which has been plagued by vicious attacks of the devil knows what.

geralt arrives and examines the scenes of the attacks. the sincere majority of the victims are alive, so he speaks to them. they remember nothing, but woke up with their village fucking absolutely trashed and with vomit everywhere. they all have wounds on their necks. geralt thinks he knows what’s up, but is reluctant to deal with it because of his memories of regis, who he misses

damien de la tour is assigned to geralt as a sort of backup. they argue and geralt manages to get him to stay put in beauclair while he rides to a village they believe will be attacked next. it’s not even a full moon so the vampires don’t even come out in their bat form (disappointing) but instead just mesmerize their way in in humanoid form. dettlaff sneaks up on geralt who is (ahem) staking out the situation, and is like hey dont kill regis hes not evil hes just misguided!! and geralt is like REGIS? EMIEL REGIS? THTS WHO’S LEADING THEM? i ..... i know him.... and dettlaff’s like what the fuck how... then they get caught and regis is like oh hey dettlaff who’s this guy and geralt feels very left out :( and also sad bc regis doesnt remember shit and geralt even lists the hansa members by name and regis is still like O_O ok yeah im just going to hypnotize you to get lost ok goodbye! but dettlaff prevents him from doing this and they both get thrown out of the party.

after the party geralt is a mess and is like wtf so hes back and what... how... huh... and dettlaff doesnt know how he returned or why he returned either but they compare geralt’s knowledge of how regis died with dettlaff’s knowledge of how regeneration works and they figure out that regis just regenerated from his past body and that’s why he doesn’t have any of his memories from when he turned good.

then they eavesdrop a little more and find out that syanna has been talking to regis and making deals with him (its... not really like she thinks, regis really hasnt been doing anything he doesnt want to. shes just like “hey can you attack this village here” and regis is like yeah i was gonna host a party there tomorrow night ...) so they are like who the fuck is this woman and track her down to her base of operations, and then they find out that THEY got followed by damien de la tour, who identifies her as sylvia anna. geralt is a little miffed on behalf of dandelion that damien seems to be so close to anna henrietta but i digress.

geralt reports his findings to the duchess but does NOT mention regis because the duchess knows who regis is. then we get the same vampire talk from canon b&w where the duchess and damien are sorely misinformed on every single thing ever.

geralt is defeated and has no idea on how to fix this and hes looking hard into a mirror by candlelight and then decides to go to bed so he turns around and regis is right behind him like hey. cue ‘holy shit what the fuck’ moment and freaking out. regis explains himself and says that he doesnt remember him but the fact that he gave so many specifics weirded him out and he kind of wants to know more out of curiosity. also he wants to talk to dettlaff but feels too bad about how he argued with him like 3 centuries ago that he cant just ask him directly.

so they talk and geralt is all :(( and regis is like ok well. i kinda want to get these memories back because they sound pretty significant and also im pretty miserable. but also im not going to stop partying bc its the only thing that makes me feel alive rn. so long!

geralt and dettlaff talk to orianna and she dislikes them both but still talks to them and then regis materializes and also begins bothering them and its quite civil but this scene just serves to demonstrate how annoying they are as friends lol

there’s scenes where you can either save damien / syanna from being unalived by the vampires’ / regis’ hand, only if you let syanna die will the duchess be mad and accuse you of being heartless like dandelion is and then geralt and the duchess actually get into an argument bc of that comment but geralt ofc loses bc hes scared of her lol

no matter what you get regis his memories back but your decisions to either continue helping him or not is what makes him change or not. even after he gets his memories back (or because he gets his memories back?) he decides to raze beauclair bc hes just so fucking miserable and geralt has to talk him down, if you are harsh and not understanding and shame him etc then he doesnt change, if you condemn his actions but still offer your support then he does.

if you offer your support > geralt talks about the hansa like For Ever and regis then adds in everything and yay regis is back to normal. theres like a wholesome montage of geralt being like “just TRY to sew up a wound i promise you you will be good at it” and regis does and hes splendid at it. regis and dettlaff finally make up and are bros once again. we help orianna with her issues and she realizes stuff but is still going to have a drink once in a while. if syanna is alive she doesnt hate on any of this but just decides to make up with the duchess and then become captain of the guard (damien gets fired for being a dumbass).

if you do not offer your support > regis goes to cry in a delapidated creepy old castle and you have an epic fight (geralt is backed up by dettlaff) and he turns into a bat and geralt almost dies, they manage to decapitate regis again and put him in the ground and set a timer for 50 years

if you redeem regis then there’s an ending scene where the duchess is like “oh regis i didnt know you were in town” and hes just like <:) ahaha... yeah...

cue crying about milva/cahir/angouleme For Ever. maybe link this with the fic where geralt and regis bring them all back as ghosts/real ppl and then they have to deal with those consequences

#blood and wine rewrite au #regis #geralt #thoughts

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echoes-of-realities · 4 years

Text

I'll keep you warm (underneath the christmas lights)

* * *

[ao3] // [Fanfiction]

be my fire in the cold (and I’ll be waiting by the mistletoe: [Tumblr] // [ao3] // [Fanfiction]

Summary: Santana hates being in the audience of anything because she wants to be backstage managing the show instead of just watching it. She hates it even more when it’s a show that she used to run.

One-shot in the be my fire in the cold (and I’ll be your mistletoe) universe.

Notes: The final editing of the last chapter of the leather jacket fic has been going uhhhhhh let’s say Slow read: impossible atm because of writer’s block for the final scene because I want it to be perfect lol so instead I thought I’d do a small Christmas thing instead.

Trying to cure writer’s block for one fic by writing another? In my writing process? It’s more likely than you think.

Title from “Keep You Warm” by Sam Tsui and Kina Grannis.

Santana decided that she hates sitting in the audience of anything—movies, shows, speeches, you name it—when she was really young. After falling in love with stage managing when she was eighteen, she quickly figured out it’s because she wants to be backstage managing the show herself.

Looking back on her childhood, a lot of things suddenly clicked for her—kind of like when she realized she was very definitely really, really gay and looked back on her pre-teen years and realized exactly how many crushes she had actually had on girls throughout middle school. Her mom used to take her to Columbus whenever they had a little extra cash, treating herself and her daughter to whatever musical or play or dance troupe happened to be touring through Ohio that year, and she used to love and hate those mother-daughter outings in equal measure. She loved spending time with her mom, but she hated the shows itself. She would never have told her mom it, because she hated upsetting her mom more than anything in the world, but she found it near impossible to actually sit through those shows, because she was always impatient and annoyed—realizing it was because she wanted to be the one in control of the show was so relieving because she could finally explain to her mom why she was always hyperactive as soon as the theatre went dark and the show lights went on.

Her mom, of course, had suspected that her daughter was just impatient and desperate to be a part of the show somehow, because mom’s are like that, and took her daughter squirming and sighing throughout the entirety of every single show they saw together in stride—it was good that Maribel Lopez had the patience of a saint and years of experience as a nurse exerting restraint, because whoever was unlucky enough to sit on Santana’s other side had difficulty containing their annoyance at the fidgeting teenager beside them.

She hates sitting in the audience even more when it’s a show that she used to run; especially because she spent nearly twelve hours every single day for a whole month last year running the show she’s currently watching. And she’s even more impatient and desperate to head backstage for this particular show then she is when it comes to a show she hasn’t stage managed before.

In other words, it’s basically torture for her to sit in the audience and forcefully resist the urge to jump up and sneak backstage to take over the show, but she doesn’t really think that Quinn would appreciate that, considering that this is her first run as the production stage manager and not just an assistant.

But Santana knows too much about the behind the scenes of George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker to be content just watching from the sidelines, and if her neighbours’ annoyed glares are anything to go by, her twitchiness is more than a little obvious and definitely more than a little annoying.

Thankfully, the show is well into the second act by now, which means there’s just the Waltz of Flowers, the re-entrance of the Sugar Plum Fairy and her cavalier, the Finale, and the bows left, and then Santana can stop jiggling her foot up and down in the audience and annoying her seat-mates. She’s always been the type of person who has to be doing something, and watching a show when she could be managing it instead is just frustrating in a million ways.

It feels like she blinks and the cast are coming out to take their bows, and then—finally—all the audience members start filing out of the theatre. Santana grabs the bouquet of flowers hidden under her seat and checks them to make sure they aren’t crushed too badly; it’s not like she has a very good reputation for having pristine flowers because something always ends up happening—whether a freak rainstorm or an uneven sidewalk or a drunk on the subway getting too close—but she’d like the bouquet to look like they hadn’t gone through a garburator for once in her life.

A couple of the stems are bent in a way that looks like one of her seat-mates stepped on them, but other than that, the flowers are actually in decent shape, which is a little surprising.

She weaves her way impatiently through the crowd of shuffling audience members still blinking blearily in the too bright house lights after over two hours spent in the dark. She knows this theatre like the back of her hand, so it doesn’t take her long before she finds her way to the back of the theatre. Even though it’s been a year since she ran this show, she’s still a familiar face around the theatre, and security barely gives her a second glance before waving her backstage.

She waves greetings to some of the cast members who were recast this year, avoids the sound guys like they have the plague, and stops to playfully make fun of how Quinn’s running the show, before she finds her way back to the principal hallway. She follows the familiar sound of banging to the end of the hallway, dodging around racks of costumes and props and half-dressed cast members, before she reaches the door she’s looking for.

The door is slightly ajar, so she pokes her head through the crack and almost laughs out loud at the sigh that greets her—the Sugar Plum Fair is half dressed in her bodysuit and a pair of old, ratty sweats that Santana is almost positive were buried in the bottom of the hamper this morning, and her blonde hair is still pinned up but her tiara is tossed haphazardly on the dresser beside a couple of dirty makeup wipes.

She’s smacking her ballet shoes against the wall with a candy cane sticking out of her mouth, and Santana takes a moment to smile at the nostalgia of it all, before she clears her throat.

The Sugar Plum Fairy glances up with a focused furrow to her brow, one that immediately clears into surprised delight. “Santana!” she gasps around the candy cane dangling from her lips, blue eyes sparkling above scrunched up cheeks, “What are you doing here?”

Santana grins, and her chest still spasms and flutters like it did the very first time she met those blue eyes. “You didn’t think I’d miss your last show of the year?” she teases as she steps halfway into the room, keeping her back in the doorway to try and keep the bouquet hidden.

Brittany rolls her eyes and carelessly tosses her ballet shoes on the coffee table that Santana’s ate countless lunches and suppers at, crossing the room to greet Santana with a quick peck around the candy cane in her mouth, leaving a sticky line of mint across Santana’s cheek. Santana wants to be annoyed, because she hates sticky candy, but Brittany’s smiling at her and her eyes are surprised and happy and she can’t bring herself to feel even the tiniest bit annoyed. “I know you didn’t want to,” Brittany says, “but you kind of have a show to run at the same time as this one, Ms. I-Made-My-Broadway-Debut-As-Production-Stage-Manager-At-Twenty-Seven.”

Santana just shrugs nonchalantly. “I’m sure they can survive one show with Zizes at the helm.”

Brittany narrows her eyes and puts her hands on her hips, which stretches her bodysuit distractingly tight across her torso, and it takes Brittany clearing her throat a couple of times before Santana’s eyes snap back up to hers—she’s a little self-satisfied, which kind of defeats her attempt at a reprimanding look. “Please tell me you didn’t waste a sick day on watching a show you’ve already seen a billion times before.”

Santana’s grin widens and she shrugs a little. “Who’s to say I didn’t book this day off months in advance because I knew it’d be your last show.”

“I wasn’t even cast months in advance,” Brittany scolds, but there’s a tiny, pleased smile playing at her lips that she can’t quite bite back.

“Maybe I just believe in my girlfriend a whole lot,” Santana shoots back, and before Brittany can even open her mouth to continue their bickering, Santana produces the bouquet of flowers from behind her back and offers them to Brittany.

Santana can actually see the way that Brittany practically melts, all retorts dying on her tongue as she slowly takes the bouquet from Santana with glowing eyes. “You can’t buy my love, you know,” she teases softly, and Santana doesn’t bother hiding the way she basically preens like a parrot seeing their reflection in a mirror at the smile on Brittany’s face and the love glowing in her eyes.

“They’re the best flowers I’ve ever gotten you,” Santana says proudly.

Brittany laughs a little in the middle of sniffing them, accidentally pressing a couple flowers into her lips at the motion. “Only three broken stems,” she acknowledges with a wide smile, “That’s a new record.”

Santana grins and rises up on her toes expectantly, grinning when Brittany playfully rolls her eyes as she takes the candy cane out of her mouth and ducks down to kiss her, soft and sweet and slow.

Brittany pulls back achingly slowly, and Santana kind of wishes this moment could last forever, even though she gets to kiss Brittany like this every single day. “I should get changed and then we can get out of here,” she says, her minty-sweet breath fanning across Santana’s slightly dazed face.

Santana blinks a couple times before blushing under Brittany’s knowing smirk. She closes the door with her hip and busies herself with her phone while Brittany quickly strips out of her bodysuit and into her comfy clothes—it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before, but she knows that if she so much as glances at Brittany, her plans for the evening are going to fly right out of her head because Brittany is beautiful and distracting and basically impossible to resist.

Brittany appears beside her barely five minutes later, her candy cane back in her mouth and Santana’s favourite scarf wrapped around her neck, her blonde hair loose and flowing over her shoulders as she zips her jacket up. “Ready to go?”

Santana nods absently and steps out into the hallway, waiting for Brittany to grab the bouquet of flowers off the coffee table and lock her dressing room door before they head down the hallway. Brittany bites into her candy cane and crunches it loudly, and Santana can’t help the tiny smile on her face, because even though she usually finds it annoying when people chew hard candies, she finds everything Brittany does endearing and amusing.

They wave goodbyes and wish Merry Christmases to everyone they pass on their way to the back exit of the theatre, skipping the crowd of people probably still lingering at the front entrance. The cold wind sweeps right through them with a swirl of snowflakes as they step outside, causing them to both shiver and huddle together as they make the trek back to Santana’s apartment, where Brittany’s been spending so much time at, that Santana’s not sure if her girlfriend can even call the apartment she used to share with Mercedes hers anymore. It had gotten lonely, Brittany had admitted, once Mercedes moved in with Sam back in September, and Santana had hinted at the fact that her apartment—which was a little closer to the theatres they both worked at—had more than enough room for the two of them. They’d been quietly intending to move in together without actually saying anything aloud since then, but Brittany’s lease won’t be up until January, so Brittany’s mostly just been using her apartment as a storage space while all her clothes and toiletries and important things are slowly accumulating at Santana’s apartment over the course of the past couple months.

Brittany’s eyelashes are dusted with snowflakes and her lips and cheeks and ears are more red than usual against the freezing wind and Santana’s never been more in love in her entire life.

Brittany doesn’t say anything when Santana silently tugs her to a stop just to kiss her, but she looks a little bit windswept and a whole lot adoring when she pulls away and they continue on their way. And, when Santana pulls her into a chaotic grocery store, she still doesn’t say anything about it, even when she smiles wide and bright and happy when she recognizes the ingredients for cinnamon buns and World Famous Pierce Hot Chocolate and movie snacks.

They make it home around five thirty, the heat from Santana’s apartment nearly painful on their frozen thighs as they kick off their boots by the mat and hang their jackets on the coat rack. Santana disappears with the groceries and Brittany’s bouquet of flowers while Brittany is still struggling to escape from her scarf, and by the time she hangs up all of her winter gear, Santana is standing in the entrance to the rest of her apartment with a shy smile on her face. Brittany blinks in confusion before slowly stepping forward to take her girlfriend’s outstretched hand and allows her to pull them both through the kitchen and into the living room.

Brittany gasps at the sight before them, and some of the nerves in Santana’s stomach ease into proud delight at the wonder on Brittany’s face. She turns to admire her work, and can’t help smiling a little bit too, knowing that all her rushing around that morning after Brittany left for the theatre was worth it.

The living room is lit only by Christmas lights and the Home Alone title screen on the television and the fairy lights around the bookshelf and the quickly fading winter sun shining weakly in through the window, the kitchen and hall lights flicked off to give the apartment a soft glow. The tree in the corner was the result of Mercedes and Sam’s help; they left Manhattan yesterday to go spend time with family for Christmas, and they had offered their tree to Santana for the rest of the holidays, knowing that Santana was planning on surprising Brittany with a decorated apartment for Christmas Eve. It had been hiding in Santana’s spare closet until this morning after Brittany left for her show, and while Santana’s decorating skills leave something to be desired, it does its job of brightening the living room with a Christmasy glow. The tinsel and glittery trees on the windowsill are courtesy of Mike and Tina, who had answered Santana’s desperate plea for help sometime around eleven with fond eye rolls and no small amount of teasing. The rest of the living room—Christmas patterned blankets and the cookies on the coffee table and the small singing stuffies on the back of the couch and the small stack of presents under the tree—are all Santana though, and she surveys the living room with pride swirling in her stomach.

Brittany turns to Santana with eyes that sparkle in the dim glow of the Christmas decorations, and Santana’s stomach swoops a little at the love that sparkles in her favourite blue eyes.

“I know we’re still not all that into Christmas,” Santana explains, only a little bit bashful under Brittany’s adoring gaze, “and we’ve both been so busy with our shows lately that we haven’t really had time to do anything festive or anything. But I figured we should still get into the spirit at least a little bit, since we have new traditions and everything.”

Santana doesn’t even have time to give Brittany a smile before her girlfriend is cupping her jaw and kissing her fiercely, and Santana can do little more than wrap her arms around Brittany’s waist and kiss her back. Brittany’s mouth is warm and desperate on hers, but her hands are tender and still cold from outside against the sides of her neck, and it’s kind of a little perfect.

“So I take it you like it,” Santana gasps when Brittany finally relents in kissing her, just long enough that Santana can breathe again.

Brittany laughs and kisses Santana repeatedly, a series of quick pecks where she does that thing where she wants to talk and kiss at the same time and just ends up mumbling everything into Santana’s mouth. “Obviously, you giant dork.”

Santana giggles against Brittany and tightens her arms around her girlfriend, nuzzling their noses together and smiling when Brittany’s hands finally slide from her jaw to around her shoulders, tugging her into a tight embrace. “Good,” Santana sighs contently, “because I kind of really liked the new traditions we made last year.”

“That’s cause you got lucky at the end of them,” Brittany snorts against Santana’s hair, giggling and squirming away from Santana when she pinches her hips in retaliation.

“I wasn’t the only one who got lucky that night,” Santana sniffs haughtily, “And if you keep talking like that, you definitely won’t be this year.”

“Please—” Santana can’t see her girlfriend’s face, but she just knows that Brittany is rolling her eyes right now, “—as if you can resist me.”

Santana doesn’t argue that statement, because they both know Brittany’s one-hundred percent correct. “Come on,” she says instead, “we gotta get started on Home Alone so we have time to have supper and make hot chocolate and watch all the other movies and do other stuff like bakin—”

“Mmm,” Brittany interrupts with a hum as she finally pulls away from Santana and starts heading towards the living room, “Am I stuff?”

Santana’s been dating Brittany for a year by now, and it’s not like she’s a stranger to sex with her girlfriend, but she still can’t help the heat she feels rising in her cheeks. Brittany coos teasingly and playfully pokes at Santana’s dimples, even as she smirks and waggles her eyebrows in a suggestive leer. Santana swats at Brittany’s hand and ducks her head, but it does nothing to hide her blush.

Brittany just laughs at her girlfriend’s embarrassed grumbling as Santana throws herself grumpily down on the far end of the couch, shamelessly cuddling up to Santana under the blanket despite Santana’s protests—though, it’s not like Santana is putting up much of a fight considering she immediately sinks into Brittany’s embrace.

The snow continues to fall outside the window, but Santana’s apartment is warm and cozy and the lights from the Christmas tree and the television and the fairy lights on the bookshelf cast the living room in a soft glow. Santana’s pretty positive that she’s going to be doing this for every single Christmas Eve for the rest of her life and, even if she won the lottery or never had to work again or something else that most people dream of when regular life gets too damn depressing, she can’t imagine ever being happier than she is right now.

“Hey,” Brittany says suddenly as Kevin is in the middle of grocery shopping by himself for the first time, and Santana really should know that something’s up by the way her girlfriend tries to bite down on her smirk, “Are we watching Gremlins after this?”

Santana seriously considers suffocating Brittany with the blanket they’re cuddling under, but instead settles on beating her with a pillow, neither of them able to contain their bright laughter as they squirm around on the couch in a one-sided pillow fight.

When 11:11 comes around after supper and hot chocolate and even more movies (including—at least for Santana—the dreaded Gremlins), neither of them are even awake to make a wish like last year, the title screen song for How The Grinch Stole Christmas playing through it’s seventh repeat.

Honestly, it’s completely fine that they miss their new tradition of making a wish at 11:11 on Christmas Eve, because neither of them have anything else they could ever want for anymore, since they already have each other.

#brittana #brittany pierce #santana lopez #glee #brittana fanfiction #glee fanfiction #my writing #story: I'll keep you warm (underneath the christmas lights)#but also #story: be my fire in the cold (and i'll be waiting by the mistletoe)#I'm procrastinating one fic by writing another to absolutely Nobody's surprise lol #also like........ the cheesiest ending imaginable?#obviously #it's me and it's christmas does anyone expect anything else?#also also #I Cannot believe it's been a whole ass year since I wrote be my fire lol #absolutely W I L D

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vaguely-concerned · 5 years

Text

I’m back! Temeraire Let’s Read:Tongues of Serpents

- Tharkay literally shows up at the beginning of the second sentence; STRONG start, I highly approve, great improvement on every level

fsdafhsadkjlfh cooly tossing tables and throwing people’s drinks in their faces in the bar brawl fkjsdhfksdalfhasdj this ain’t his first rodeo huh

- these dumbasses having to clean up from the bar brawl before going home so their dragons don’t go out there and demand to have a word with the dudes who bullied their lil boys... oh my g o d

- “it was true, if one wished to be very particular about such things, that laurence was a convicted felon” t e m e r a i r e... ~*technicality schmechnicality*~ it was barely treason at all really

also temeraire being in super protective mother hen/older brother mode over the eggs is perfect

- Jane Rolands bluff, jovial letter writing is Everything

- “Have Temeraire throw him overboard,” Tharkay had suggested laconically, when Laurence had escaped to his quarters for a little relief and some piquet . . . “He can fish him out again later,” he added, as an afterthought.

A VISIONARY. An unmitigated joy. “Have Temeraire throw him overboard”. He says what we’re all thinking.

- AAAAAAAAH MUTUAL FIRST NAME BASIS!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL WTF HAVE THEY BEEN DOING ON THIS TRIP TELL ME IN DETAIL WHEN THE SWITCH HAPPENED PLEASE (also I really like that the first instance we see is “But Tenzing, I cannot trust myself” b/c that was literally the whole point of that scene in VoE. laurence... yes you can. tfw your crush is the goodiest of twoshoes and can barely move for it and doesn’t even knoooow)

- y’know if Laurence could get over this thought that asking a direct question to a friend is just ~*intolerably rude*~ he could get so much shit done

(I guess tharkay, clearly a follower of the rosa diaz school of ‘no one is ever going to know shit about me’, is like fuck yeah I’ve struck gold with this one)

- “So spake the pot” oh I do love Actually Pretty Chill Dad William Laurence finally letting the snark out more frequently, it suits him very much (I guess his main claims to fame in a lot of circles is a) treason and b) spoiling his dragon rotten)

- rankin’s name is mentioned and everyone’s like HIIISSSSSSSS and RIGHTLY SO FUCK THAT GUY JUSTICE FOR LEVITAS

- temeraire is talking to the egg about consent and saying he’ll make sure it won’t have to do anything it doesn’t want to fjklsadhfkaslhfsd my heart

- lol lol lol weeeell in hindsight who could’ve guessed captain and second in command of the dragon pirates would have a materialistic superficial kid huh

- . . . Granby said, with a look half affection and half exasperation oh granby baby still carrying that torch huh

- lol lol lol just the implication of sara maden and laurence silently tops up his drink and he’s like ‘cheers’ and they’re both quiet for a moment flskdfs

if you think about it that must’ve been such a wild day in his life tho -- like first Laurence furiously fires him for being gone at a crucial moment and then immediately unfires him when it turns out he’s been chasing a lead and being the only goddamn person really working on solving all their problems (as is his wont), then he finds out his ex is getting married and steadfastly pretends it doesn’t even bother him, lol what are feelings I heard only losers have them (extremely relatable -- I guess he must have known it was in the cards though, because he specifically tells Laurence at the beginning he didn’t intend to go back to Istanbul, so it’s been over for a while?) then they go on a life and death chase through the sewers, and THEN, before he knows it, after half a book of being kind of a mistrustful dick to him, Laurence does a 180° and is there offering eternal friendship with big soulful eyes after seeing him get upset one time and y’know I guess I see why that got to him lol

- aw man I know it’s never going to happen but I am getting sort of wistful and teary-eyed over this pirate (cough cough I mean legally sanctioned privateer of course) AU that’s going entirely to waste

here are some tags I left on this superb piece of fanart: #I just got to the part where tharkay makes the suggestion and like... I know it's not happening #but what a shimmering tender mother of pearl dream to carry in one's heart lol #just a lil pirate family out there wrecking shit #temeraire would get wind of what the east india company actually does and they'd inevitably turn against them and fuck 'em up... *sigh* #fix it fic: the boys kiss and the east india company is stopped from committing further atrocities! all is well

so that’s basically my position on that

- “I’m sure there’s nothing too dangerous out there, in the fucking untamed Australian wilderness,” Temeraire said, tempting fate to a frankly anxiety-inducing extent

- hell yeah demane is the only one with presence of mind to actually find some food; you go buddy <3

- my boy tharkay slinking off in the middle of the night without telling anyone and solving everyone’s problems... *dabs at eyes* just like old times

- oh wow rankin really is just a piece of shit in every way huh

- fhasdklhfsadfsad temeraire being like ‘I know tharkay is a strong independent human who is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and don’t need no dragon... but also he’s clearly one of my humans tho why is he riding on another dragon :(’ THE CUTEST SHIT

- temeraire silently dissing his dad over refusing to believe in ghosts ~*except*~ for the holy spirit adslfhaskjdlhfs

- demane taking in the strange little hatchling... im crey... he truly hits me straight in the heart every time

also laurence steadfastly Doing The Right Thing and following his convictions is so deeply healing after all that bullshit he went through in the last book... makes me feel all safe and calm inside haha

- actually when you think about it it’s so fucked up that they apparently just straight up murder dragons with birth defects in england as a matter of course b/c like. dragons come out of the egg fully sentient and capable of understanding what’s being said around them. kulingile literally understood every word they were saying as they discussed whether or not they should be KILLING HIM. j e s u s thank god for demane and laurence’s stubborn insistence on being good

- temeraire going straight from mother hen to extremely impatient and jealous older brother the moment an egg hatches never gets old. all these dumb little babies just complaining and stealing his crew ugh (HOW FUCKING CUTE is him deciding kulingile could be a scholar or something tho #dragon rights)

- “I wish,” Temeraire said to Laurence, “I do wish that other dragons were not always thinking me peculiar . . . it makes one doubtful.” BABY BOY NOOOO he’s just so sweet and he’s so secretly scared that laurence might resent him a little after the whole treason business and OW right in the parental heart that fucks me up

- Temeraire’s indignant “Oh!”s always soothe my soul it’s so adorable

- little emily roland yelling “damn you all for cowards!” after a bunch of grown men fleeing while she reloads her gun and takes aim again is incredible poetic cinema (and also demane joining her... I love the bond they’ve got going on in the background here)

- aw poor sipho :( at least he still has temeraire to nerd out with and stuff but that’s some difficult shit to process for a kid

kulingile bobbing around tethered to temeraire like a small balloon at a fair is such an image, what a blessing, temeraire’s exasperated brand of babysitting is so funny

- laurence being a Dad to the kids in his crew... mana from heaven

- YESSS they crossed the endless miles of DEADLY AUSTRALIAN WILDERNESS so laurence could be MORTIFIED��as the emperor’s adopted son at a party this is the content I am here for

- hell yeah let’s play a round of pimp my captain!!!!!!!!!!

“And,” Laurence said. “And you are certain that this should be appropriate for the occasion; not, perhaps, excessive?” I can’t b r e a t h e he can’t even say shit because his dragon boi is so happy fsaldfjsldhfasjlh and then granby making fond fun of him what a beautiful cherry on top of this sweet sweet laurence being embarrassed sundae

- william ‘I’m here to kick ass and describe menswear in fastidious detail and I’ve already kicked my own ass twice today’ laurence strikes again

- this description of the dragons sitting around squabbling as they watch shiny sparkly things is the most endearing few pages in modern literature do not @ me

- it’s kind of fucked up that the emperor of china is giving laurence more of the sort of warmth and validation a father should than his actual dad ever did lol. u did good curing the dragon plague, weird european adopted son I am proud of you

- every time temeraire is really upset about something my soul suffers a small wound

thank god he doesn’t actually know what opium is really used for most of the time yet (also I am obligated to divulge that I am entirely charmed by tharkay’s sardonic yet clear eyed cynicism on the issue, I cannot be anything but what I am and he hasn’t had enough proper page time in this half of the book so I will take what I can get)

- ...I kind of just realized that I imagine the sea serpents basically as long-ass gyaradoses... OH NO

I will say I respect the ‘give no fucks’ vibe they give off -- it’s a real ‘we’re here to eat fish & party and if you try to get in our way we’re gonna have you as a snack’ mood and I cannot fault them for it

- iskierka is such a fuckboi it’s glorious

- nOOOOOO tharkay is leaving again fuck ;_______; is his life just an endless procession of semi-unwillingly having to go back to istanbul again these days

Temeraire did not see why Tharkay should have to go so far, only to deliver news; and particularly when he did not seem as though he wished to go, very much. DDDDDDDD: THIS SUCKS you know that when a) he’s letting it show and b) temeraire notices it that he is dragging his heels big time over this lol

‘there can be very little to call you back to this part of the world any time soon’ LAURENCE YOU 24 KARAT IDIOT YOU ARE HERE HE CAME TO AUSTRALIA FOR YOU ALREADY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

all that said whenever I see a ‘Tenzing’ on the page my heart does a happy little dance. ah well now let’s settle in and wait for what horrible catastrophe will happen now that tharkay is gone... come back soon buddy

- ooooooooooooh that is so good, using the last chapter + epilogue to show how the... idk moral wound I guess laurence received victory of eagles has finally healed, that’s so reassuring. he just wants to do good things for good causes and can’t be badgered, cajoled, threatened or convinced to do anything less anymore and it’s all so sweet and well earned. that’s some good development through this book too, from ‘tenzing I cannot trust myself’ to this. excellent stuff

- while I did quite enjoy this book for the character moments it is incredibly weirdly structured? like the beginning drags a bit with the quite uninteresting colony politics and stuff but then they’re finally travelling and then... nothing really happens plot wise before the sea serpents freak the fuck out at the end there lol. I’m mostly a character-oriented reader tho so I’m pretty fine with it.

ETA: actually now that I think about it I’d say that my biggest gripe with this book is that it doesn’t engage at all with the perspective of the native australian people? even though one of the dragons settles down with one group? god knows it’s not like there was no time to dive into it, considering all that time spent in the fucking wilderness lol

we’re going to the inca empire next tho apparently fuck YEAH!!! that’s such an underexplored and extremely interesting part of history, my body is Ready

#temeraire #tongues of serpents #his majesty's dragon #meta #back again after a brief pause! still crying a lot about tharkay! the more things change huh

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dragonnan · 5 years

Text

Oh, I love these things!!!! Thank you for tagging me, @kitcat992!

1. At what age did you start writing fanfiction?

14 or 15. This was back in the 80s, mind, so we had only JUST got our first computer - this beast called an IMB Zeos Clone. Clunky, awkward, the only writing program was something along the lines of an ancient word processor. After working through the gauntlet of online dialup I was faced with this nebulous “web” hunt and peck through these various shoddy sites. HOW I discovered fanfic? You know, I honestly cannot remember. What I first remember reading was Star Wars and Star Trek. The very first thing I started writing was a novel length Star Wars adventure based heavily on the published novels and featuring a self-insert Mary Sue. Classic. Took me 5 years to complete and I never posted it (though I still have it on hard disc lol).

2. Who is your favorite author?

As others have stated, I have no single favorite. I adore the writings of my bestie, SydneyWoo, in the Psych fandom - though she hasn’t written in years. FAR too many to list, though, of other favorite Psych authors but you can find the list HERE. For the MCU, I adoooore @kitcat992, @yellowdistress, @silentsaebyeok, and @sumpetals as well as several others. For Sherlock one of my biggest faves is sgam76 - she is MAGIC the way she writes massive stories that heavily feature the contentious/caring relationship between Mycroft and Sherlock and she fleshes out that world like no other. (plus her whump is decadent!!!). Another Sherlock fave is @mizjoely - her Sherlock/Molly fics are meltingly glorious and pound the romance button hard!

3. Favorite type of scene to write?

That oppressive anxiety-laden moment leading up to horror. When the character is just coming to realize how bad their circumstances are about to become yet also knowing there is no escape.

4. What is your favorite fanfic?

Holy hell, well again, this isn’t possibly a single answer as I have different fics I adore in different fandoms (and MANY besides!)! I’ll do my best not to make this too long!!

Okay, so, Sherlock is maybe the easiest.

Scheherezade by sgam76 Redemption by sgam76 Lost for Words by awanderingbard

MCU:

Identity Theft by KitCat992 A Sailor Went to Sea by YellowDistress youth by sumpetals (warning: reference noncon)

Psych (sorry, this one is looooong!):

I Don't Know How to Say Goodbye by Psychrulz And Then The World Blew Up by SydneyWoo Lingering Chill by s_c An Almost World by Oldach Dreaming A Whisper to the Living by Xparrot Fractures by VampKira Love Lasts Forever, but Sanity Has a Shelf Life by Redwolffclaw The Spencers of Santa Barbara: The Curse of Benitoite by JR88fan Jack and Jill Went Up the Hill by JR88fan A Funny Thing Happened On the Way Into Hell by Am_I_Zombie Hard To Believe It Will Be Okay by silverluna Happy Halloween by NoirCat Father Figures by Kirei Fathers and Sons Felonious and Otherwise by Okapi Statement Time by NoirCat

5. What tags do you avoid like the plague?

I really hate deathfic (yet DO have a few I’ve read but they were exceptions). Save for Sherlolly (Sherlock/Molly) I pretty much avoid romance geared fic - especially non-canon pairings.

I WILL NEVER READ CANON COMPLIANT ENDGAME FIC. FULL STOP.

If the fic lists Morgan Stark among the characters I will swipe left.

If the fic lists Starker I will light my computer on fire.

I rarely read au fic of any sort - I like my characters to be who they are with very few exceptions.

I don’t really care for crackfic.

I almost never read fic shorter than 1,000 words.

6. What AU do you wish to write but feel like you won’t manage?

I currently AM writing an Endgame au - though not the actual events so much as referencing an alternate history. This is a massive undertaking and will like take until the end of time to complete.

7. Do you outline, or write as you go?

Pretty much develop the story as I go. I tend to have a broad sense of the story in my mind but mostly it’s an organic process that I build on as I go - adding tons of notes after every chapter.

8. What has been your favorite story to write so far? Why?

Oh, gosh... Well, for Psych, it’s Where There is Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth; a cannibal/horror adventure that took me about 7 years to finish. I love it because my favorite thing about writing Psych is to insert what we’ll NEVER see in that franchise - like cannibalism lol! Ok, yeah, they did that zombie episode but STILL it was just a dream so... Anyhow, this fic was actually inspired by a dream my friend, SydneyWoo, had. The research was straight up nauseating, not gonna lie. However, I loved writing such a deviant character and it’s easily the worst whump I’ve ever inflicted on Shawn.

For MCU it’s Simple Math; a Tony-centric introspective piece and the first story I every wrote for that fandom. This story tries to unpack Tony’s feelings following Obie’s betrayal - something I’ve yet to find in fanfic that delves into it to my satisfaction. While a one-shot it is 100% about Tony trying to figure out why Obie hated him. There is very much a child-like confusion and loss to his emotions as I feel that has to be the greatest hurt caused by someone he’d thought was a friend (prior to Civil War). Plus I had so many questions, myself, and wanted to work through them through Tony’s mind.

For Sherlock, it’s the in-progress story, The Tiger and the Shark, a non-con whump/PTSD fic that, again, is the first fic I’ve ever written for this fandom. Yet another fic dealing with a subject that other fics of this sort never satisfy with their handling. Too often they are either too short or too graphic or may be well written but tend to move too fast towards recovery. I wanted to explore the day to day details. Some days are good, more days are bad - or numb - or frantic. I wanted to see how other characters reacted - my favorite being Mycroft (criminally underused in fandom). This story spans over a year (so far) so I don’t cut corners on the trauma. It is 95% comfort and getting into Sherlock’s head, as he copes, has easily been, by turns, a wonderful as well as heart-wrenching experience.

9. Do you prefer to write one-shots or multi-chapters? Why?

I try to write one-shots but always end up going multi-chapter. I admit I LOVE multi-chapter because it allows me to truly develop the story properly and dig into character trauma.

10. What is your favorite kind of comment?

Like everyone else has said, it’s any comment that goes deep into analyzing my story. I LOVE the opportunity to engage with a commentator and the more involved the comment, the easier it is to interact.

11. Why did you start writing fanfiction? Why are you still writing?

Even as a tiny childling I loved telling stories. I was always writing little books about animals - sorta like the Serendipity tales. How that suddenly turned towards fanfic I honestly can’t remember. Most likely born from discovering fanfic and realizing there were things I wanted to see that wasn’t being provided by the shows and movies I watched aka whump.

I continue to write fanfic because, the more I develop as a writer the more passionate I feel about my craft. Sites like AO3 are hugely encouraging towards that end as there is a whole community of writers with which I’m honored to interact who keep feeding my love of story telling. And since the fandoms I love, sadly, continue to disappoint with their stupid ass decisions I feel burdened with glorious purpose to put right what they made wrong.

ALRIGHT HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS

Haha! Psych! It’s the same questions! I actually like them so I ain’t changing anything xD

Okay, damn.... So I need to tag ya’ll people. Alrighty, here I go! @disappearinginq @mizjoely @sumpetals @aelaer @iron--spider @yellowdistress @villaniouslyawesome

#prompts #fanfic

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 6 years

Text

And so I continue on my epic re-read of that nonsense royalty AU mixed with a teen movie except gayer-- uh, I mean, Misadventures

Chapter 6 here we go

I already remember that when I wrote this chapter I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window because it was impossible, so now I’m scared

Kim actually doing exercise in this fic was me directly calling myself out for lazing around all day

He tries to get out of detention by pulling the “but I’m a prince!” card ashfskdjhkf that won’t work on Lady Mendeleiev!!

Speaking of, I’ve had Ms Bustier called “Lady Caline” in this thing but Mendeleiev’s still referred to by her surname? Can’t remember what I was thinking tbh

Kim you dumb idiot, the nobles aren’t moving out of the way because you’re royalty, they’re moving out of the way because MENDELEIEV IS WITH YOU

Ohhhh my god stop accusing your own classmate of murder, I think Alix would have much more than a detention if she’d fricking killed someone

Sidenote: Alix did not deserve detention. The rules didn’t say anything about rollerskates so she did nothing wrong and this was very unfair

And there’s me showing off how much research on cobras I did lmao

...I’ll be honest, 90% of the reason I wrote this fic was because I wanted Kim to have to walk with a book on his head

goddammit you know when you notice symbolism in your writing that wasn’t there before? this fic is hecking doing it already. striking a BALANCE between being a stupid idiot and being a thoughtful goodbean is legit a running theme in this thing, and,, that’s,, their detention,,,sdskgkjf

I’m the noble who fell off the balancing beam. it’s me

Kim... I’m going to hit you on the head with that book I s2g STOP BEING A JERK

the symbolism gahhh I’m dying, he needs to be more patient and less reckless just like his life skjdhksjd sjdghbsjfhsk laksjflad

How did Mireille end up in detention, you ask? Simple. Aurore framed her. Those two have a real hecked up relationship in this thing and oh boy it’ll take a front seat in the sequel if I ever write it

well dammit now I ship Kim with Mireille I mean they held hands

“If someone doesn’t get over here to help me finish this stupid thing right now, I will throw this book at someone’s face hard enough to send their teeth into the back of their brain.” pls... alix... hit ME with the book I’m begging you

I’m. having an allergic reaction to Kim’s crush on Alix. I know what happens later in the fic and I’m already breaking out in hives

Chapter 7 is called “90% chance of death” which is an accurate statistic to describe the mortality rate of reading it

I MADE A NINO AND POTATOES REFERENCE OH MY GOD I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING BAD I EVER SAID ABOUT THIS FIC, IT’S PERFECT NOW

This reads like a game of Civilization and yet I hadn’t even played it yet at the point when I wrote this part

MAX W O W HAVE SOME FAITH IN KIM OKAY, HE’S A DICK AT THE MOMENT BUT HE’LL GET BETTER

And Kim stop trying to be tsundere, you’re so bad at it. everyone knows the real tsundere in this fic is Alix,

There’s me showing off about knowledge I learned on wikipedia again

“That would be the coolest way to die. Agonizing death by snake bite. I would love that.” Juleka you can’t just SAY that to Alix oh my god do you even know what happens in chapter 25???

Kim being good at archery is 100% a shoutout to Dark Cupid btw also he’s a sagittarius like me and I’ll fight you on this

Max just got bored and straight-up left the sports day lmaooo that’s the biggest mood

I can’t wait for chapter 60 where the Other sports day happens and it’s like the total inverse of this one

YES ALIX, GO OFF

she’s highkey lying. she cannot order someone’s execution, she may be a pharaoh but she really doesn’t have much power lol, she just pretends she does so people will let her do what she wants

only chapter 7 and Kim’s already crying over something dumb (aka the threat of being eaten alive by a venomous cobra)? nice

“I guess me suddenly storming in here and lowkey threatening to kill you may have been overboard” uh yeah, you don’t say?? he kinda deserved it tho lmao

I love how Kim’s all like “ayy there’s plenty of other cute girls at this school for me to fall for!” when the two people at school he falls for next are both BOYS

alright chapter 8 now baby, and yes the title “Chick???” makes perfect sense in context I swear

Oh here’s one of those boys already! Kim’s crush on Adrikins is so damn obvious I love it

The umbrella scene happened except with a parasol

the whole “you four seem to make a good group” thing was me thinking how Marinette/Adrien/Alya/Nino is a god-tier ot4

oh god I want to hug Nath

OKAY OKAY SO. Nath and Alix don’t make friends until like chapter 44 or something, but the reason she knew already that he liked Marinette was because Juleka told her in the snek scene earlier, and then Alix used this knowledge to force people into giving her chocolate

Alya your gaydar is so broken... almost none of the girls in your class are straight

I’m also going to hug Alix, I know what it’s like to be a confused baby aro -- in fact I was at the time I was writing this skdjfhksdjhgkjf

Kim’s homework was just me typing out a bunch of intelligent-sounding words I remember seeing in Crusader Kings II tbh

MAX YOU PRECIOUS GAY BEAN, GIVE IT LIKE 20 MORE CHAPTERS OKAY

ohohoho chapter 9 here we go

noooo Alya noooo don’t trust Theo!!! you’ll find out why in like chapter 47 but just!! don’t trust him!!!!!!

Alya I s2g... of course Marinette likes girls, she’s bi af

Chloe and Sabrina are wlw too... please fix your gaydar I’m begging you

same with Rose, good grief, she really does love Juleka omg

I love how I called the kingdom of Couffaine “mysterious” and “distant” because I hadn’t decided where it was yet, because I’ll have you know that for the sequel I’ve decided it’s the non-distant and non-mysterious Orkney Isles

Alya just knocks on Juleka’s door like “YO ARE YOU A LESBIAN?” skdjhkjsdhg I’m sobbing

No Alya, Couffaine isn’t a morbid kingdom, Juleka’s just really goth. Couffaine is just like how Scotland really is lol

Kim wtf you can’t just ditch Max like that good grief...

and there I go teaching the readers about geography, because that’s definitely what normal people talk about in their conversations

Alix’s ringtone is definitely a rickroll by the way

I love that these characters are in fact completely aware that they’re idiots who should not be in charge of a country, what they’re unaware of is all that precious, precious character development heading their way nyehehhehehe >:D

Look... I know I said I was having an allergic reaction but hugs with height differences are Very Important to me so just this once I’ll let it slide

Phew, chapter 10, and then I’ll stop because holy shoot I need time to process the ridiculousness of this mess

oh my god Kim literally burning the letters his parents send him in order to avoid his responsibilities is?? such a mood?? I’m basically doing that myself right now

This is the only time Emperor Gabriel even has any lines until like almost the last chapter lol

anD IT’S FULL OF FORESHADOWING OH MY GOD ADRIENNNNN

btw Chloe’s oracle question was “will I marry Adrien?” and of course the answer was no, so that’s why she was upset lol (idk what Marinette’s question was, I didn’t think of one oops)

more geography lessons!!!

Max being irrationally mad at Alix’s country having a higher GDP than his was inspired by him being mad about losing the gaming tournament to Marinette in the Gamer episode, by the way

Alix... is a reptile scalie I’m gonna regret saying that aren’t I

I love how her oracle question is literally just a stealth “I’m aroace, right?” and that makes the irony of the next bit so much funnier omg, poor Kim lmao I was so so cruel

(also I finally fixed that inconsistency... Fu said he was 186, but technically everyone in this fic is about a year or two older than they are in the show at the beginning, so he should be 187 instead)

Kim has just accepted that he’s going to die young by doing something reckless and stupid, that’s such a gen z mood wow

I’m genuinely losing brain cells because of Kim right now, I’m contracting the bubonic plague as I type, I’ve already lost 3 years off my life and so has Master Fu,,,, ask a sensible question you idiot

No Kim, it won’t be CPR, she really will kiss you, you’ll just know okay... now if you’ll excuse me I need to go bang my head against a brick wall for several hours

#welp this is actually more entertaining than i remembered #misadventures #yeah i'll just tag it as that lol #random stuff

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pacificsecretsanta · 6 years

Photo

Something for you, @antiquecompass!

Pairing: Gen Warnings: N/A

[Author’s Note: A day in the inbox of Robert Leckie, White House correspondent. This is a West Wing crossover/AU fic. I tried to make it clear who the WW characters were, but the wikia has a good list for those unfamiliar. And shoutout to mitmandlen for this Vera/Leckie edit, which was the inspiration for making both of them reporters. Anyway, happy holidays, antiquecompass!!]

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: request from your favorite reporter 7:18

First of all, dear Robert, I wouldn’t even say you’re my favorite reporter at the Post, let alone in general, although you get points for trying.

Second, I was kidding about that last part, arrogance isn’t cute, do not attempt to charm me.

Third, for the last time, no, the White House will not revoke Webster’s pool credentials because you “don’t like his face,” and if you have an issue with his writing, I would refer you to the New York Times complaint section, not the WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY, WHO HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH HER TIME.

Fourth, this whole thread was off the record and if I see it in print, I will strangle you.

Lovingly, CJ – Press Secretary White House Office of Communications

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: lunch 8:48

canteen’s serving BBQ for lunch. come visit meeeeeeee.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 8:50

Ugh, I wish :( Larson backed out of the clean energy incentives bill so it can’t come out of committee yet and Corrigan’s pissed. I’ll be stuck on the hill all day trying to sort it out.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 8:50

I’m game! But it’d better be Carolina or Texas style. If it’s dry rub I’ll still come but I won’t be happy about it, that’s all I’m saying.

Sid – Petty Officer Second Class Assistant to the Surgeon General Office of the Surgeon General

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 9:10

Did you really just forward that to a non-governmental email? Seriously?? lol.

P.S. I’m free at 12:30, Hoos! I’ve only got about half an hour, though; I need to check in with CJ before the afternoon briefing and her schedule is packed.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 9:14

Yes I did! We talk shit about the people we work with WAY too much to be sending mail from a governmental address that can be subpoenaed whenever. You should all switch.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 9:19

too much work

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected]. Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 9:30

Hey, speak for yourself, Runner. I don’t have anything to be ashamed about, unless you count my poor judgement in being friends with you rascals in the first place.

Sid – Petty Officer Second Class Assistant to the Surgeon General Office of the Surgeon General

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: re: healthcare vote draft 9:39

Hey Bob,

Looks great, except for the third paragraph. While I appreciate the eloquence of the insult, I seem to remember we’ve already talked about not calling the Majority Leader a moron in print? Other than that, you’re good to go.

Evan

Evan Wright Politics Editor Washington Post

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 9:41

You should switch emails more than anyone, WIL SMITH.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 9:45

hey, not my fault I’m the third william smith in the white house. I told them they should give me hsmith but they said noooo, gotta be the real name. oh well.

also if you’re worried about privacy you really shouldn’t be CC’ing a reporter on half the emails you send out, you know? (looking @ you leckie)

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 9:46

Well, fuck

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: re: healthcare draft 9:58

If you leave in the part where you call the majority leader a “moron of the first water, a classification which will cease to have meaning if his environmental policies ever become word of law, thereby corrupting our water supply and bringing plague unto the land” I will personally see to it that you get a government pension and 45 minutes on the record with the president.

Josh

(No he won’t - Donna)

Josh Lyman Deputy Chief of Staff Office of the President

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Profile 10:18

Dear Bob,

I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to let you know that I finally got around to reading the profile you wrote on me. I thought the writing was excellent, and I promise I’m not just saying that because it was, on the whole, complimentary. The White House may occasionally bemoan the need for reporters, but the truth is that we all–and I, personally–do read the Post religiously, and you certainly lend it some flair.

My husband was very amused by your brief paragraph on him, by the way, and wanted me to let you know that he recognized instantly, from the way you described his hometown, that you must also be from New Jersey. I don’t know what that means, and my attempt to press for details only garnered a “It’s just a feeling, trust me.” I gather it was a compliment.

Anyway, thank you again and best of luck with the rest of your time covering the White House. I’m sure our paths will cross again.

Regards,

Lena Riggi-Basilone

—— Lena Riggi-Basilone Lt. General, USMC, retired Secretary of Defense Department of Defense

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Question? 10:34

Hi Bob!

I’m back in the States, in case you haven’t heard, although I hadn’t had a chance to swing by the office yet. I just called Toby Ziegler’s office to get a quote on the Paris embassy piece I’ve been working on, and while I was on the line, Bill told me to remind you you had a question for me? He said he didn’t know what it was, except that you keep forgetting to ask. Any ideas?

Hope everything’s going well with you!

Best,

Vera

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FUCK YOU 10:48

LANGUAGE!!! ;) ;) ;)

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 12:02

You guys are never going to believe this… I was just talking to a buddy of mine who works for Winters in the Senate, and guess who’s thinking of a presidential run? ANDY FUCKING HALDANE.

It’s early stages so far, but apparently he’s approached a couple of other senators, people he’s friends with, you know, not just Big Names in the party, asking what they think. His aide wants to put a poll in the field. I don’t know if it’s going anywhere, but god, a guy can dream, right?

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 12:32

DEAR GOD PLEASE YES

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 12:37

God, I’ve been hoping to hear that since he gave that speech on the floor about voting rights. You guys remember that, right? It was a thing of beauty–I swear I even saw Republicans with tears in their eyes!

Also I just asked CJ if she heard anything and she looked like Christmas had come early and then told me to shut up about it, so I’d say that’s a good sign.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 12:40

he’s smart and he’s got good hair. I’d vote for him.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 12:49

I don’t know, Leckie… I don’t think I’m comfortable being an individual source, even a blind one, when I’m three or four steps removed from the decision-making processes. I can put you in touch with my guy in Winters’ office; if you can get the names of the other senators he’s talked to, you can hear what their staff has heard and call it “rumors on the Hill” maybe? Don’t you have to have two separate sources before you can use a blind quote, anyway? Or is it different if it’s not a direct quote?

I just think citing “a high-level congressional aide” (and thanks for that, by the way) would be misleading. People would probably assume it was one of Haldane’s staff, and depending on how it goes, that might be a fireable leak.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 1:08

Listen… I don’t want to make any promises, but one of my friends from Mobile actually joined Haldane’s staff a few months ago. (He was in the Marines, then moved to MA for college and actually met him in person at some veterans’ events. He just graduated and moved down here.)

I don’t know if he’s in a position to comment, but I can vouch for you if you want to talk to him. Here’s his contact info:

Eugene Sledge [email protected] (413) 734-8551

Sid – Petty Officer Second Class Assistant to the Surgeon General Office of the Surgeon General

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 1:12

hey so we were making fun of Runner earlier for being super-professional with his email, but how come we never make fun of Sid for putting his rank in his email signature?

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 1:14

Hey now, that’s not my fault. The Surgeon General likes to be formal. Besides, I worked hard for that rank and it makes my mom happy :)

Sid – Petty Officer Second Class Assistant to the Surgeon General Office of the Surgeon General

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 1:26

I think it’s cute, Petty Officer Second Class Sid. Bet your mom would be happier if you went back to real med school and became Petty Officer Second Class Sid, MD.

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Parents visiting 1:47

Robert dearest,

Hello! How are things? Writing going okay? Government running smoothly?

You’re a clever boy, so I assume you read the subject line of this email and figured out the rest. Mum and Dad are coming to D.C. next month for my birthday. It’ll be their first visit and I really want to pack in as much as possible. Is there ANY chance at all you could talk to somebody and make sure we get on the list for a White House visit? I know, I know, I’m cutting it a little close, but I’ve been trying to get them to tell me what they’d like to do for weeks and they’ve only just told me they’d like to see the White House.

I can make it worth your while. My mom will be making pavlova for my birthday dinner and you’ll be invited, my father will probably be bringing ouzo, and if for some reason you ever want to write an article about kangaroos, I’m pretty sure I could pull some strings and make that happen.

All my love,

Stella

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Favor? 2:02

Sure, I’ll ask her. But you know there’s like a 50-50 chance she’s going to tell us both to stuff it, right?

- Danny

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: cabinet meeting draft & welfare draft 2:42

Hi Bob,

Looks good! Also do me a favor and send your notes on the welfare issue to Anna; she wants to do a deep dive on it.

Best,

Evan

Evan Wright Politics Editor Washington Post

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 3:15

guys, I’m hurt. my boss thinks I could never run for office. zero confidence in my ability to win an election. now I’m sad.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 3:22

That’s… rough, man. But I would have thought you would come to that conclusion on your own? You like dogs and booze and blankets and like nothing else. If you had to debate somebody in public I’m sure you’d give up halfway through and just tell them to fuck off.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 3:31

no, that’s what Leckie would do.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 3:36

True

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: oh, you 4:02

Have Stella send me her parents’ details and I’ll get them on the list, barring any dramatic reveals on the background check. I will also drop in for five minutes of chit-chat, but that’s because I briefly met Stella at that state dinner a few months ago and she’s a nice girl, so don’t you and Danny get full of yourself.

Incidentally, I need you to put out something about Haskill and Roberts holding up the welfare vote. I know you’ve probably got your copy in already, but call me and I can give you some quotes. Carol’s got them if I’m not in. We’d prefer a little misdirection about the source, but don’t just drop them in, okay? You’re not the reporter I go to for a light touch.

Also you owe me one held story, but we’ll talk about that when the time comes.

P.S. I tried to tell you this in person but you weren’t in your cube and I don’t have time to chase you around the White House. You have too many friends.

– Press Secretary White House Office of Communications

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Parents visiting 4:18

YOU’RE THE BEST!!!

And don’t worry, I told my parents we’re really not dating anymore and I’m pretty sure they believed me. But if we could both get girlfriends by the time they get here, that’d go a long way towards convincing Mum. I’m working hard on my end; Bill says you still haven’t asked out that Vera girl yet? I say get on it or give me her number ;)

Xoxo,

Stella

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 4:30

I could probably run for office. What do you think. President Juergens, got a nice ring to it?

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 4:37

Not if Haldane’s in the race. Otherwise yeah, sure, out of all us I think you’d have the best shot.

Sid

– Petty Officer Second Class Assistant to the Surgeon General Office of the Surgeon General

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 4:42

let’s not kid ourselves, Sid is the only one of us who can ever win ANYTHING. I mean come on, look at that face. who wouldn’t vote for that face?

External image

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: re: Following up 4:43

Hi Bob,

Thanks for the email. I wanted to get a chance to talk to some of my supervisors before getting back to you. Now, Sid gave me his word you wouldn’t print anything I wanted to be off the record, so I’m going to be candid, and I appreciate your discretion.

The senator’s been having some conversations. Everyone in the office has figured out what they’re about, because he’s asked some of us for our opinion, too, but it’s been framed as a hypothetical and we’re not 100% sure it’ll happen. As far as we can tell, he’s still in the “do I, as a person, want to run?” stage, not even the “CAN I run?” stage. There’s a chance you’ll hear in the next few weeks that fundraising in starting to pull in more than usual, but even that is more because the lower-level staff is getting excited and taking initiative, not because we’re getting directives from above.

Anyway, I talked to Eddie Jones and he says we’re not ready to put out a statement or even a leak yet–not one that mentions the “p” word, at least. But I’ve been cleared to tell you my opinion, which is that the senator cares very deeply about this country and is committed to doing right by it, and as a result he’s thinking of angling for a greater leadership role in the party. Without commenting on what that would look like, I can say it’s something he has his staff’s full support in. You can work in the fundraising part, too, if you like, but the rest is off-limits. (And please don’t try to make him sound indecisive or anything; on a personal level, he’s a really great guy, and honestly I think this country would be in better shape if more legislators deliberated the way he does.) Eddie says “a mid-level staffer in the senator’s office” or something similar is okay, and you can tell your editors he’ll back it up, if they ask.

By the way, I’ve been following your work for a while now. I think some of the things you say about Congress is a bit cynical–but then again, you’ve been in DC for longer than I have, so maybe I’ll come around. Good talking to you, and I’m sure our paths will cross again, through Sid if nothing else.

Regards, Eugene

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 4:54

Aw, shucks. I started this morning as a Petty Officer, and in the course of one day you guys are angling for me to be Dr. Mr. President. I’m flattered.

Sid – Petty Officer Second Class Assistant to the Surgeon General Office of the Surgeon General

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Question? 5:18

Sure! I’m still a bit jet-lagged, so maybe tomorrow would be better than tonight? I’m free at the same time, if you are. I know pool reporters have a pretty packed schedule, so if that doesn’t work let me know and we’ll figure something out.

Sorry if this is awkward, but just to be clear, is this a “hey friend, welcome back!” drink or did I just get set up on a date by the assistant to the White House Director of Communications? Because that would be a new one for me. I’m game either way.

Vera

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Question? 5:20

Awesome! Then it’s a date. :)

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 5:22

WHAT

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 5:22

SHUT THE FUCK UP

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 5:23

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 5:25

Congrats, dude! :D

Sid – Petty Officer Second Class Assistant to the Surgeon General Office of the Surgeon General

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 5:25

WHAT

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 5:26

ur welcome!!!

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Vera??? 5:29

I just heard from Donna that you ACTUALLY asked out Vera Keller? Yeah right. Is Donna lying or are you lying?

Josh

To: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: Re: Question? 5:35

Well. I stand corrected. Mazel fucking tov to you, man.

P.S. I am not interested in Donna! And even if I were, it would be totally inappropriate because she’s my assistant, and that’s not relevant because I’m not interested in dating her. So shut up.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 6:08

Unless something REALLY exciting happens in the next hour or two, CJ’s planning on giving her last briefing in about twenty minutes. Leckie, I WILL be finding you and we WILL be going for a drink. Thinking of heading up to U Street somewhere? The rest of you in?

Except you, Gibson, you’ve been ignoring us all day so no alcohol for you.

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 6:13

Umm… is Gibson even on this thread?

To: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: FWD: lunch 6:16

oh… shit. my bad, guys.

#pacific secret santa #the pacific

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