#actually i will only post it when i hit 17k followers

[1uvtae]

what do you do when you have just been cheated on? | kim taehyung

♡ word count: 17k (yes it may be less than 20k but this! it's intense!)

♡ genre: hard smut& fluff!! & crack & some angry angst towards the end (...also very protected sex! stay safe friends!) taehyung is a sweetheart inside a fuckboy's body and y/n is quite immature for getting back on her cheating boyfriend with taehyung but,,,,girl gotta do what she gotta do!

- kae's little 'moral of the story' tip: just don't cheat on your s/o. unless it's kim taehyung. /j

♡ summary/snippet: what do you do when you have found out that your long-term boyfriend has been cheating on you? well, contacting his (may i mention, very, very hot) best friend tae is definitely an option.

♡ kae chit chats: happy taetae day! i was actually on the way of posting another lengthy fic that i had started writing a month or two ago but i think that might not be the best option because i have sadly not edited that fic to the point where i think it is suitable to be posted...so here we are with this fic! i don't know where my inspiration for this fic came from because no i have literally no experience in almost any of the events that have happened here (except for eating ramen probably) but the thought of it popped right in when i opened a new doc so here we are..! enjoy this very much and i hope you guys are weirdly satisfied with this ending because this fic was definitely a rollercoaster in my opinion...lastly, so much love for my supporters (you guys hee hee) and happy birthday to the best boy in the world, taehyung. - kae

do you want to give me some feedback? request something fun? chit chat with me?!

kae's recommendation of songs to listen to when you are reading!! (psst, i have immaculate taste btw.)

PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU ENTER- (trigger warnings: mentions of cheating and emotional manipulative side character with a hint of moral coercion, semi-violence towards the end & stalking behavior, very intense conversations, and mentions of one small injury and alcohol use but a happy ending !)

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

what do you do when your boyfriend just cheated on you?

when you found out that your boyfriend cheated on you that day, you decided to contact your boyfriend’s best friend.

before that day, you had only met taehyung one or two times, in fact, you didn't even know his name, only hearing the nickname ‘tae’ being called out by your boyfriend a few times. you did not even have any source of contact with him except the silent and dead group chat your boyfriend has once added you to.

you go through the list of members and find him at the bottom of the list. a profile picture of a pretty and slender hand holding up the fluffy face of a black and tan pomeranian. his username was simple and casual: thv. you supposed this must be the ‘tae’ you’re searching for since you knew everyone else's names.

the account was private and you requested. he did not accept the request until late in the afternoon, followed by a bold question mark in your message requests.

y/n: busy?

thv: not really

thv: whats up

the thought that he probably does not remember who you are hits you, considering your profile picture also doesn’t include your face. and of course, the many years you have been dating your boyfriend, he barely took you out to hang out with his friends, none of his friends would remember you anyways. you hesitate to reply but end up typing a word and sending it anyway.

y/n: well

thv: if youre asking to hook up, im afraid im not the suitable person to be sleeping with my friends girlfriend :)

a splash of awkwardness enters the chat, followed by your surprise that he still remembers you.

y/n: i wanna get back at him for cheating

thv: :0

the emoji he sent over seemed to know too much, you can’t help but think to yourself if he knew about your boyfriend’s unfaithfulness all along.

and that makes you feel very uncomfortable.

you decided to not reply, locking your screen and you lie back on your couch, switching to take a tired and quick nap. right when you are starting to enter the comforts of dreamland, you were startled by a notification. you struggle to grab the phone on the coffee table, unlocking it, you stare at the blue text and freeze.

thv: come over then

before you could text back a question mark or anything, he had already sent his location over.

the anger you were supposed to feel hours ago when you had just found out that your boyfriend had cheated on you came in right this second. when you had finally realized that you, y/n y/l/n, had been cheated on.

and that gives you more motivation to head over to tae’s house. you were going to get that cheating bastard back, be sleeping with his best friend. you barely felt embarrassed about going to tae’s house now. it was something consented to and with a purpose.

you stand up to go shower, pick an outfit, do your makeup so perfectly that you even brought out the expensive lipstick you only use on special occasions (like this one). you called an uber and headed right over to the location he had sent you an hour ago.

when you find yourself sitting on the black leather seats of the car, you feel hunger growling in your stomach, then you recall that you have not eaten anything today due to the load of information you have consumed last night that made you lose all your appetite.

he lived pretty far away, an expensive area almost out of your city, full of luxurious and lavish shopping areas and too much lighting at night time on the noisy streets. when you thank the driver and walk out of the uber, you notice the ramen store in front of you, you immediately rush in.

before ordering, you text him. “have you eaten? i’m at a ramen store, do you want some takeaway?”

thv: bro?

thv: my pants are already off wdym if i want ramen

you snort at the text, then catch yourself.

thv: anyways

thv: extra pork slices and no spring onions thank u <3

y/n: …..

one plastic bag in each hand, you walk into the neighborhood while trying to calculate the large prices of each car driving by. (as if you knew anything about cars, you cannot even tell the difference between two brands of cars.) you take your phone out once again to skim the address he had sent you, after strolling around with no result, you receive another text.

thv: hello. where is my ramen order?

you roll your eyes. does he think you’re uber eats?!

y/n: i think im lost =.=

thv: where r u rn

y/n: 13A

thv: turn around, walk straight until you find 9A then turn right

thv: im standing outside

with the text, you find him outside his house in less than a few minutes. you pause in your tracks and question yourself if that is actually him.

the past times you have seen him was always at clubs, the lighting dark and mysterious, smoke travelling everywhere, he always wore a white or black button-up, surrounded by different women, not to mention the thoughts you were brainwashed by your boyfriend, always telling you he’s a fuckboy and extremely flirty with anyone. your conclusion of him was a complete asshole with nothing but a pretty face and money.

but this was different. maybe because it’s at his house instead of clubs. or it’s because you have come to the conclusion that your boyfriend is a liar himself and everything that comes out of his toilet hole of a mouth is made up or exaggerated.

he’s wearing a grey oversized hoodie with causal sweats, too boyish to consider he was the person you’ve seen once or twice at the bars.

the second he sees you, he breaks into a small smirk.

“hi.”

you want to scream.

the thought that “i am going to hand him the ramen and leave” has completely left your mind. you knew he was pretty handsome before, but that wasn’t the handsome you were interested in. this long and fluffy dark hair, square-jawed, semi-tan skin with simple silver hoops piercings is your type of handsome.

you walk to him and smile back.

“hey.”

he reaches his hands out to grab the plastic bags from your hands, your hands brushing slightly.

he inspected the ramen in his hands and knitted his brows in concern. “you’re quite slow, the noodles are cold.”

you resist pouring the noodles on his face at his annoyingly funny gesture of criticizing the noodles. you follow him into his house thinking that the next actions will probably be the awkwardest moments you will ever encounter. but he didn’t pause to say something or do anything, he walked straight to his kitchen to get the noodles ready, taking chopsticks and bowls out while kindly asking you if you wanted to try some of the kimchi soup he had just finished making.

“sure.”

you close your eyes and convince yourself many times. you are here to hook up. you are only here to hook up. just have dinner and sex, then you are going to leave.

the soup was so good though.

before you finished eating he went to answer a call. you finished with your food and walked to the sink to start cleaning the utensils while thinking about all the moments that have happened in the past day or so, then you feel a hand take the bowl from you and put it back into the sink. you jump in surprisement. he shut off the running tap, “just leave it there. i’ll clean it up later.”

his voice was so deep it’s haunting. the distance between you two was close but safe. a good distance for friends to maintain. but the fact is: you two aren’t even friends.

you dry your hands and turn to look back at him, he opens his mouth to speak. “i have something to do, gotta go.” you pause. what? so you’re not gonna do anything?

he continued: “there’s barely any taxis here, i’ll send you home.”

you couldn’t help but stress the fact that: “but you told me to come over.” he nodded in agreement, showing understanding, tilting his head (cutely), he tried to negotiate: “so….how about…you stay here and wait for me? i’ll come back.” you understood that you’re gonna be a bother no matter what and this was just not going to happen.

“nah, it’s fine. i’ll call an uber.” you smile back and head to grab your tote bag off the couch.

before you could take a step, you feel a warm hand reach for your arm. the excitement rushed to your head. he tugged you slightly and you were back to where you were, in front of the sink, his eyes stared you down slowly and carefully. you didn’t try to struggle or anything, just completely mesmerized by his dark pupils.

“kitchen, living room, or the bedroom?”

“bedroom.”

he smiled and nodded.

hand in hand, he walked upstairs with you and into the bedroom.

your eyes traveled from the colored lights to the wines on the bedside table, then to the rose decorations, maybe this was not a good idea. the thought that the bed probably had been rolled with other people concerns you.

“hey.” you speak and he looked back at you and hummed in response.

“can i return to the previous options?”

he looked confused. “what previous options?”

“the ‘kitchen, living room, or bedroom’ options.”

he chuckled lightly, “too slow.”

then he pushed you onto the bed.

the bed, very soft. him, the opposite. he got on top gently and slowly started taking each piece of his clothing off, while still maintaining eye contact between you two. hoodie, tshirt, sweats, all the way down.

then it’s your turn. one of his large hands caressed from your face to your neck and the other traveled with every minute from one button to another on your white button-up dress. popping each of them with such care. the moment lasted long. so long that it made you question if you actually should’ve just worn a shirt and shorts instead. when he removed the dress, what was under was revealed to him. he looked from up and down with his pretty eyes, and backed up at your eyes. this time, there was a fire burning in his eyes.

under the dress, you wore a laced-up sheer slip-in dress. and nothing else. the handsome smirk found his face for the millionth time today. “only wearing that?”

his hand had found your abdomen and you felt your skin burning from head to toe at the touch of his soft and gentle palms, and it was going to burn this dress if he didn't take it off right now. at last, he found the way to your chest. his long and slender fingers drawing random shapes on your skin through the loose fabric, causing a ticklish and tingle right to your head. your hand found his and you held it tightly, squeezing it before trying to form proper words with your breath. “no more playing, please.”

he raises an eyebrow at you and grabs your hand so fast that now it’s the opposite way around, his hand now squeezing yours, he leads your hand slowly from his knees up, your eyes focused on the hands that are intertwined and slowly traveling up his thighs, and then he stops before it reaches the final stop before muttering with his deep and playful voice, “how can something like this be quick? hm?” you look back up. “only sex toys don’t play and gets straight to the point. what can i say? i like to play with my food.”

you can’t spit any words out. he slowly hovers over you and his fingers proceed into the rim of the dress, making their way slowly and steadily up. your breath becomes harder to breathe in and out as if he has sucked all the oxygen there is in the room. then his fingers find their way there to your core, and his teeth also find their way to your neck. his head tucks itself in the crook of your neck and kisses it gently before trying to bite a small part of your skin, you try to move away. but it resulted to leave a mark there that is way too obvious.

he didn’t seem to notice you moving away, pulling down the band of your dress and continuing to kiss your body downwards, his hands never stopped. a hand of his reaches into the bedside table drawer and pulls out the obvious sealed item. one hand on your abdomen again, he pushed in. although there was a lot of playing beforehand, the pain was still there. you hear his groan right in your ear and you turn to look straight at him, his eyes were filled with a fog of lust and the handsome face of pleasure was definitely something you could get used to.

he stops when he’s all the way in, not forgetting to remind you: “relax.”

you respond with a hint of brattiness. “i’m very relaxed…..thank you very much.” he chuckles darkly and the vibration from his chest goes straight into you, you contain yourself to make a noise. his hand lifts your chin up and his thumb brushes your bottom lip gently, rubbing it with such care. “if it’s uncomfortable, tell me right away. if it feels good……..you also have to give me some feedback, okay?”

feedback? how?

before you could ask the question out, he started moving inside you again, more violently and more aggressively. without any guard against it, you couldn’t help but to make sounds. soft noises, loud noises, all from the intimate touch under the shards of moonlight. you hear his chuckle between the hits.

“see? you’re giving me feedback.”

his chest hits yours and you feel how heavy he feels against but how good this feels to you. you use your hands to circle around his neck. the bed feels emotional, as if this was a test tube experiment in science class, going to explode any second.

you don’t know how to describe this feeling. like everything inside you had been removed and toggled around and placed back into you. was it pleasure? yes. was it love? was it something right? you don’t know. but all you can feel is his touch. all you can see is him under the pink lighting. and all you can hear was your voice, his breath, and the sound of thumping and connecting that makes people’s faces blush.

you both ended under the darkness. you leaned against him and felt it impossible to move around anymore. you mumble with a sleepy voice, “there’s no one at your house, right?” “that’s a bit too late to ask that, don’t you think?”

right. you’ll shut up now.

you fell asleep easily.

when you wake up, you don’t even know what time it is. the ceiling was still pink and the night was still dark and cold, this felt like a dreamland but in reality. you find himself next to you, his back towards you, and the room was filled with his light snoring. under the bunch of discarded clothing you hear the vibration of a phone, the caller was under the name of ‘s.young’, and they have rung him at least 10 times. you realized that this was his phone, you put it down and try to find yours.

the bright screen illuminated your face as you scrolled through the game and social media notifications to find a text message from him telling you that the asshole himself was going to be back home. you two had moved in a year ago and even though you knew he has been cheating for the past day or two, he doesn’t have a single clue.

and you needed real proof and evidence to break up with him or else he would accuse you of not knowing anything. so at this moment, you still had to suffer living with him every day. it was something you were already partly used to, so you were fine about it.

you stand up so quick to put on your clothes. taehyung was woken up by the sound of your bare feet walking on the wooden floor. he raised his head to look at you, still filled with sleepiness. “what time is it?” you look at your dress, trying to figure out which button is supposed to go into the third hole. “2 am something.” he lies back in bed and shuts his eyes to go back to sleep before speaking again. “leaving so late?” you didn’t respond, struggling to pop all your buttons in.

when you arrived back home you were met with the familiar pair of shoes, of course, he is back. you walk past him that’s almost falling asleep on the couch, he turns on the light and looks at you before asking. “where did you go?”

you answer coldly. “friend’s birthday party.” then you grabbed your pyjamas and headed to the bathroom without waiting for any reaction from him. you spend 5 minutes in front of the mirror, observing your body. you could not see anything when you are clothed, obviously, but when you take everything off, it is a complete mess. marks on your chest, legs, fingermarks on your waist, and the obvious. there was a red and every indented bite mark on your left breast. vibrant and deep.

you were sure that anyone who knew tae would definitely know who has created this mark. it was like a logo, a stamp. after showering and cleaning yourself from everything, you walked into your bedroom without sparing him a glance. sitting comfortably, you find a text being sent to you half an hour ago from your ‘one-night stand’.

thv: i think……i might’ve bit you.

y/n: yes. you did.

thv: whoops

while you were changing his contact name he sent another message over.

tae: r u home

y/n: mhm

tae: rest well

tae: good night.

you didn’t answer, instead, you deleted the entire chat.

this was nothing but something you wanted to get back at a cheating dick. it’s a perfect ending this way. nothing more, nothing less.

he never contacted you afterward, and you never went to disturb him like the first time, you were busy trying to figure out what would be a suitable way to break up with your boyfriend.

and then that happened. you feel your boyfriend leave in the middle of the night like every other time. you hold your breath until you hear the door shut and his key locking it from the outside. you wait for a good half an hour and search for the contact that has been discarded.

y/n: are you with them?

he answered right away as if he knew you were going to text him after two calm weeks.

tae: yeah….

tae: my room is next to their room

and that was all you needed to be assured that tae knew this all along. he knew everything. you knew it too and you don’t blame him. your boyfriend and that girl had gone out many times and you never really knew how to approach and handle that fact. but this time, you’re sure your one-night stand can help. he sent a location right away, but this time it’s for different purposes, obviously since you two are obviously not planning to hook up.

you found your way to the hotel in half an hour and texted him for which specific room he’s at. he sent over two rooms, one is his and the other, well, theirs. (you stare at the two consecutive numbers and debate on whether you wanted to head for the left and catch them in the act or head to the right and make it a two-night-stand.)

you are now looking at the two rooms in front of you and hear a sharp ‘ding!’ and the door slides open slowly to reveal a familiar person looking down at his phone, he raises his head and meets eyes with you. you didn’t know what emotion or mood you should use to face him, so you just stood there and he smiled lightly.

“oh! i thought you were also gonna be lost this time…so i headed down to wait for you.”

you feel your cheeks go pink at the kind gesture. “well, yeah, thank you.”

you two walked shoulder to shoulder to his room and you watched him ring the doorbell. that’s weird. isn’t this his room? the door opens to reveal another woman, she leans on the doorframe and starts to complain, “taehyung that took you a long time just to buy some beer-” her eyes meet yours as he grabs your wrist and pulls you in with him. “oh mr kim! is this perhaps some three-person game we can play…?” she speaks in a joking tone.

your mind is zooming from how you found it funny how he used buying beer as an excuse to wait for you and how you have just found out his name is kim taehyung. he smirks and shakes his head in response. “definitely not. ick.” he takes a car key and throws it at her before telling her to leave. she smiles knowingly and shuts the door. the atmosphere has returned to awkwardness for you. not him, obviously. he does things normally, turns on the tv, takes off his jacket, and casually asks you if you ate dinner.

“yeah, i ate.”

“oh, i thought you were going to take away some ramen for me again.” he pretends to be disappointed, pouting like a little child and you answer in a small but still audible voice that the reason why you bought him food was that you wanted to fuck him, and today, well, that’s not the case today.

“okay then, i get it. i’m only worth one bowl of ramen.” he then fakes to sulk and you roll your eyes. “then what are you going here if you don’t wanna fuck me?” he emphasizes on the ‘don’t’ and you ignore his annoyingness. “jokes aside…if you wanna catch them in the act…” he gets comfortable on the bed and looks at his watch. “im afraid it’s not the time yet.”

“how long have they been together? like this whole cheating thing.”

he shrugs. “i think you have to ask your boyfriend that.”

“oh.”

he pats the empty spot next to him and tells you to come to sit here.

you feel like two dumbasses sitting on the bed together as if there aren’t three couches next to the both of you, but the bed is comfy and cleaner than the last time you two were on a bed. so who cares.

you lay down and look at the white ceiling, and you see him also lay next to you but looking at you. you were scared to look at him so you kept your eyes focused on the ceiling above speaking, but more as if it was to the ceiling than him. “i feel like i cockblocked you.” he hums lightly and stares at you with amusement. “not really, i still have you if i need that..”

you want to muffle him with a pillow sometimes.

then you hear his chuckles again randomly, causing you to turn curiously towards him. his eyes are squinting in laughter and you felt a sudden attraction towards his boxy smile.

he explains, “you know, that night after you left, i slept for hours and hours. i haven’t slept so deep and long in so long, y/n.” this was the first time you have heard your name come out of his mouth, and you loved how it sounded with his voice. you don’t mind him calling your name every second if you can be here to hear it.

“i bet you slept that long cos you’re old and crusty and i'm too energetic for you.” you joked and the two of you fell back into bursts of giggles and chuckles. “you’re too confident. i didn’t expect you to leave in the middle of the night, i also left some energy for the morning activities too.”

“........shut up.” and he did what you said.

in the silence, you hear the notification sound from your phone. it was your boyfriend responding to the text you sent that was ‘casually’ asking where he is and why he slipped out in the middle of the night.

son of a bitch: i’m drinking with my friends…they dragged me out.

son of a bitch: go to sleep babe don’t you have work tomorrow?

you raise an eyebrow as you type back, taehyung watching your actions next to you.

y/n: you have so many friends, which one?

he did not even hesitate to respond with of course: tae. yk? you’ve seen him a few times.

you let out a dry laugh and turn to look at taehyung, him also looking back at you. when your eye’s meet, he smirks and sits up. “i’m gonna go shower, wait for me.”

you didn’t even think much of it that second, responding with an ‘okay’ and not even thinking why he had to tell you that and why did he ask you to wait for him and why did you even agree to wait for him. his hand patted your head lightly and you heard him mutter a “good.” and walk towards the bathroom. your eyes followed his back and all the way to the glass door shuts, your eyes were still fixed on the glass door.

you look down as you come to the realization that the glass bathroom door perfectly shows you what’s inside with a light blur, but still easy to make out the figure inside. (although you have already seen everything, it’s still very intimidating.) you unlock your phone and start typing again.

y/n: watch out, tae might be a bad influence

son of a bitch: haha you worry too much, he’s a great dude

son of a bitch: go to sleep babe

son of a bitch: be good

you cringe at the last text, being called ‘good’ by these two different men makes a perfect contrast now, and you realize how weird your boyfriend is. the thought that he can just lie to you like that and if you aren’t with taehyung right now or did not know anything about him cheating, you would’ve believed him easily. and that disgusts you.

taehyung comes out of the shower quickly and you watch him walk to the empty side of the bed and sit comfortably as he starts drying his damp hair with a towel. “hey, can you pass me my phone?” you look to your side and grab the phone and hand it to him without looking at him, still focused on whatever TikTok video you were watching. when you passed the phone over, he didn’t reach for the phone, instead, his hand found your wrist.

you look up and find him still drying his hair, the towel covering his face, so you don’t know if the interaction was a pure accident or on purpose, but you don’t care at this point. you pull away from his grasp and plop the phone in his palms.

this was getting boring, not knowing when was the right time. you sat up and decided to walk around the room out of boredom. right when you were going to open the door and check outside, you heard a trail of loud laughter. freezing, you turn to look at him. taehyung pulls the towel off his head and comments casually. “as you can tell, the hotel’s not that soundproof.”

not that soundproof? this hotel just isn’t soundproof at all. might as well knock these fucking useless walls down at this point. (actually, don’t. you kind of need them there right this second.”

you can hear everything clearly and loudly. from the spring of the bed to the harsh and unpretty words, to the giggles and obvious moans of pleasure. everything came through the walls as thin as paper. you feel a ball of anger rush out, you rush to storm out the door, right when you reached the handle, his hand stopped you.

“you have to let me go. i'm gonna burn the two of them down!”

taehyung speaks with a big smile, “hm. as if that will do something.”

his words felt like a splash of water that just put out the rage of fire you were feeling.

the voices from next door still went on, but they didn’t seem to make you as mad as they did before, in fact, you find it quite entertainingly funny. you can’t help but wonder their reactions if you rushed in. the sounds and moans the girl was making were indeed……sexy. you could tell why he would go for someone like her.

taehyung stays standing in front of you, his hand still wrapped around your wrist, “you smell nice. you always did, you know?” you were taken out of your thoughts when you heard the sudden compliment. “last time when you slept over, the entire room smelled nice afterward.”

the words bring you back to that night. the confused and complicated afternoon with a hint of flirtatiousness. every scene was pierced into your brain and you couldn’t get yourself to move back when he started coming closer. his hand felt warm and hot like that night, making your face also heat up.

the next second, you were pulled to the soft and comfy bed. he pressed you against the bed as he moved closer to you, his face nudged against your neck, he spoke against your soft neck. “hmm..yeah, you smell really good.” you gently push him away. “taehyung…….”

he interrupts, “it’s tae.”

you clear your throat. “tae.”

he smiles boyishly at the mention of his nickname, looking too cute to be pressed against your burning body right now.

“mhm. i’m listening, jagi.”

you stare in his eyes for a slight second before moving your glance away when you come to the conclusion that whenever you look straight into his eyes, he’s going to get what he wants with those doe eyes. “i don’t wanna…….” your voice trails off.

“hm?”

“i…i don’t plan on having sex with you again. the previous time was an act of revenge for that dick. if we do it again…it will get out of control.” you make serious eye contact with him, trying to hope this will convince him.

you deeply want this. you know he wants this, and you’re sure if he went one more step further, you would’ve let him anyway. you found this wrong, but it didn’t mean you couldn’t do wrong things sometimes right….? maybe you should’ve just let this happen again. and again.

your glance of seriousness immediately turns to a defeat and a regretful mood, oh god if you wished you could unsend words like texts on a digital screen. because you want to do this right now.

he raises an eyebrow to look at you, who are currently locked lying on the bed, and he can definitely tell by your eyes that you also want this now. he slowly guides a finger up to your core as he searches on your face for a sign of approval.

‘if he doesn’t get a sign of approval in 3 seconds he will stop.’

3.

his burning fingers send a tingly sensation from your legs to your head, you shut your eyes tightly and try to keep your breathing normally.

2.

taehyung stops right in front where you need it the most, his eyes never left your face.

1.

you nod.

after the nod, he did not give you another second to hesitate, the fingers entered and you were invaded once again. his memory seemed so good, although you two slept once, he had already seemed to remember all your sensitive spots and has created a perfect guide to enter and reach every single of those points.

your mind slowly fogs up and the fog is completely cleared in a second when he enters your flower field of a body again. you were expecting more foreplay, considering he had given you a good hour of foreplay that night. when he enters, your hands reach for the closest thing to grab and hold onto - his arm. you squeeze it tightly and hum in response.

his mouth finds your earlobe and bites it gently before whispering with his hot breath. “ah…..sorry…..it’s been a while….”

you pause to think about what you wanted to say without sounding too salty. “how long is ‘a while’? i bet you had sex like a day ago.”

he doesn’t move and thinks as if he was solving a question. “after that time, i left the country for a trip to Hawaii.”

you couldn’t help a slight hint of jealousy as if you were the suitable person to feel jealous.

“oh. i bet there were so many pretty girls there.”

he makes strong and intense eye contact with you once again. “not as pretty as you.”

that second, you actually felt your heartbeat speed up.

but there was an unspoken rule you were used to: anything men say before, during, right after sex should not be believed.

back to the main topic….he is very expressive with his hands. he squeezes you gently to get your attention back onto him, although your attention had ever left him. “hey, did you forget what i said?”

your brain goes blank. “what?”

he looked slightly disappointed, rocked his body at you, teeth-gritting at the intimate touch. “feedback, jagi.”

you contain yourself from actually making some noise. “there’s feedback next door. listen to that.” he cracked up: “come on, i’m not listening to random moaning clips on youtube. also, your voice is so much prettier than hers.”

although this was not something to be proud of, you couldn’t help but feel good about his comment: “are you being serious?” he bites down harder on your shoulder before responding. “of course.” although the effect of his touches completely sweeps you off your feet, you still tried your hardest to not make a single noise.

“hey hey hey, am i really that shitty that you won’t even moan? or are you scared he’s going to hear it and find out?” the eyes he gave you were a teasing glance that you’ve never seen from him before, and you gotta admit it, it’s making you feel more than something.

you shake your head. “he won’t recognize it.”

“you’re his girlfriend, what do you mean? your voice is so unique.”

“i never moan when it comes to sex with him.”

he was taken by surprise, and you realized that maybe this was not the suitable topic to be discussing right now when you two are connected to each other. the atmosphere has shifted and definitely way weirder than before, you felt a slight pain when he moved his hand away from your chest. “fuck, sorry. i should’ve just said nothing.” you speak moments after.

he shakes his head, eyes looking down. you start to speak again. “i can just leave, you know-” he suddenly pushes your shoulder down with great force, and brings his face back to the familiar place, biting on the exact piece of flesh as he did last time. “what the fuck- ow!”

“taehyung you bitch!” you look down to observe the deep bite mark.

“shh jagi. they can hear us next door.”

you huff. he could’ve at least switched to the other side!

after the bite, more dirty and filthy words started to pour out of his mouth and drown your entire body out with each syllable. you felt completely under his control and not going to lie, you loved this feeling. his mouth began to make marks everywhere like last time, and you can still feel the pain from your left breast. “god- tae. stop fucking biting me.”

his voice sounded too innocent to be forming the dirty words: “you don’t let me kiss you…so i gotta keep my mouth occupied.”

“fuck you, my head is going to…hit the headboard.”

he laughs as he brings an arm to protect your head from the wooden board. “i’ve never fucked someone until they get angry.”

hours passed and you two are still lying comfortably on the bed. “oi. bathroom.” you nudged him and he lifted the arm that was embracing you. you pick up the pile of your clothes and walk into the bathroom.

you walked out clothed and he checked you out, after seeing that you were probably going to head out soon, he seemed a little disappointed. “come here.”

you bend down to take your phone off the floor, “i'm gonna go home.”

he sits up: “your boyfriend texted me, do you wanna see it?”

you turn to him with curiosity,

he smiled “he heard us….do you wanna see what his reaction was?”

of course you wanted to. you walk slowly towards the bed and smile sheepishly “so….can i see?”

he pats the spot next to him and lifts the covers, signalling for you to get in.

you hesitated.

“you don’t have to get in. or can i have a smoochy smooch?!!” you shudder at the disgusting nickname and make a face before making your way to get in the bed.

“hey. that’s rude! i swear i don’t stink or anything.” you giggle and lean back into his arms once again and take the phone he handed to you. your boyfriend started the conversation first: “oh shit you’re finally done. taehyung replied casually with a “you heard us?” “no shit. your girl seemed so fun.” after reading the three sentences, you felt so utterly uncomfortable that your boyfriend could just throw out these adjectives to describe you as a toy, so you returned the phone.

taehyung didn’t take the phone back: “continue.”

there’s more?

you scroll down.

taehyung: you guys were also very loud.

your boyfriend denied it with a long sentence explaining how his partner was only faking the sounds and taehyung had a ‘real girl’.

you felt as if you wanted to vomit. then you read the last two texts and completely freeze.

“if my girlfriend was half as enthusiastic as your girl was tonight. i would be so fucking loyal.”

taehyung: lol.

you hand over the phone in silence. taehyung locks the phone and looks towards you. “so….are you gonna go over?”

“no, changed plans.” you answer calmly.

“you’re not going to…..break up with him?”

“i want to see how long he can play this fucking act for.”

you hopped down the bed and this time he didn’t stop you from leaving. but when you had found your way in front of the door, you heard him call your name for the second time tonight. you turn your head to look at him. “it’s my birthday on the 30th…do you wanna come over?” it was definitely a weird offer from him but you didn’t think much, knowing that you will not be welcomed if you went. you didn’t have a purpose there, cockblock your boyfriend with his lover and try to explain afterward the complicated relationship between you and taehyung without giving out the fact that you two had sex? that’s too tiring for you. you declined and he nodded, sliding down into the covers and scrolling on his phone when you left.

you knew your boyfriend wouldn’t mention a single word about taehyung’s birthday. it’s fine, you didn’t want to go anyways. but on the 29th, the bastard knocked on your bedroom door. “are you close with tae?”

hearing the name being mentioned, you feel a thump in your chest. “what?”

he told you to go check the group chat. you find the group chat that has been covered by messages.

taehyung: birthday on the 30th

taehyung: bring your friends family idk

taehyung: i can't cook for shit so we going to the club to eat

then a bunch of useless and random messages flooded the group chat.

then you find a message mentioning you.

taehyung: @y/n are you coming?

you have not talked in the group chat in ages and the mention of you is shocking. knowing that you probably cannot hide in the group chat for any longer, you were forced to respond. “yeah i'll go with him.” mentioning your boyfriend (unfortunately). your boyfriend looks up from the text and smiles at you. “hm. that’s cute of you, babe.” and he comes closer to you, putting his hands on you. you could not help but think about the uncomfortable moments you have shared with him and turn away in decline. “sleep early. goodnight.” he was used to you denying most of the contact between you two, he left you alone, and soonly fell asleep.

you feel the vibration from the phone on your chest, and in the darkness, you unlock and tap on the notification badge.

taehyung: no need for presents <3

you find a smile creeping onto your face at the playful text.

y/n: who said i wanted to give you a present anyway

taehyung: give me u? ;)

your fingers stop typing when you read the message.

taehyung: actually

taehyung: i would love a kiss

he’s such a flirt it’s hard to handle it. also, you two are just friends with benefits, why is he so desperate for a kiss. in fact, you two are barely even considered friends, nor with benefits.

taehyung: rest well, see you on the 30th.

you smile at the text.

the day of his birthday, your boyfriend picks you up from work to head to taehyung’s birthday party. the car ride was silent and very, very awkward. you didn’t want to say anything and he didn’t seem like he wanted to communicate with anyone.

when you two arrived at the booked club, you met eyes with the supposed girl that your boyfriend has been spending his time with every day. she seemed to be making a phone call, or just blatantly waiting for your boyfriend to arrive. they made a good second long eye contact, and you walked past and into the restaurant. the girl following you two as if she has just ‘finished’ her call at the same time you two arrived. if you didn’t know everything, this gesture would’ve looked completely normal. in fact, everything would’ve looked completely normal. (even the fact that she came over nearly every day you were at work and left minutes before you arrived back home, pulling a fake smile to greet you every time you two bumped and you still remained clueless.) now what you think about it, you are such an idiot.

your boyfriend tugs on your hand as you two walk in and greet everyone, just like normal. your eyes search for the familiar face and he is looking straight at you. your boyfriend leads you to taehyung and wishes him a happy birthday, then jokes around with him like normal. “oh, the birthday boy didn’t bring a girl with him today?”

taehyung looks up lazily at him and takes a sip of his coke before checking out your outfit. then opening his mouth to speak. “well, didn’t you bring the girl for me?”

you feel your hands sweat at the scandalous speech that taehyung had just made.

your boyfriend freezes and tightens his grasp on your waist. you resist yourself from shutting your eyes at whatever was going to happen the next second. your boyfriend lets out a light laugh. “hey man, i only have one girl. what would i have if i gave her to you?” taehyung gives him a side glance and uses his chin to point at the girl that was following behind you two, the girl you are way too familiar with.

“what do you mean bro? you still have her.”

you try to not smile at how good this feeling felt. your boyfriend couldn’t get a word out of your mouth and the entire room was silent. it was taehyung who broke the silence once again. he looked back at you from his phone, and switched his glance back onto your boyfriend. “just joking, man, why do you look serious?” you see the girl storm out from the corner of the room. “hey everybody, make space for y/n.” your boyfriend speaks and sits down on an empty scene, observing everyone in the room. you see the girl who you bumped into the other night when you had arrived at the hotel, you see taehyung, of course. a bunch of people smoking on another table. the room was crowded, yet it felt empty at the same time.

just then, your boyfriend’s phone rang. he placed a hand on your shoulder. “i’m going to go answer the call babe.” you knew what he meant by ‘answer the call’, probably just heading out to calm down his other girl. he left and you were left sitting there by yourself, just watching the boys play poker or whatever game that was. the room was filled with loud chatter and you found it quite annoying.

a good 15 minutes went past and you were browsing on your phone as your boyfriend came back, you caught a whiff of an unfamiliar perfume and immediately knew what’s up. feeling empty and the sense of nausea, you excused yourself to the bathroom. the dinner was loud and noisy, at least 25 people were there, eating, drinking, singing karaoke, taehyung was sitting on the leather couch in front of you, a girl practically draped over him, and he looked completely unbothered. you walk into the singular bathroom stall and go through all your social media apps. no messages.

you catch yourself that you are actually waiting for someone to talk to you.

a specific person.

you walk out of the stall and splash your face with cold tap water, calming yourself down.

when you have walked back into the place, you see your boyfriend with the girl, two people completely stuck together, browsing on a phone. heads touching and not knowing that you were getting closer. when he realizes that you have already made your way to the seat next to him, he pushes the girl away and puts an arm over your shoulder.

“i want to leave.” you sit down back on your seat and suggest. it’s already midnight and half of the people had left. “baby, i’ll go with you soon.” you decided to just close your mouth and go back on your phone, knowing that he will not obviously leave with you anytime soon. “tae booked rooms for us too, cos you know, drink driving and all. so we don’t have to go back.” you nod.

“y/n!” you look up when you hear your name being called by the girl who you had bumped into when you visited taehyung in the hotel room (her calling him by his first name and asking why he took so long to buy beer): “come here.” you walk over to her, confused. she holds you by the hand and sits you down. you sat down only to realize that she purposely sat you down between her and taehyung. you look at him for a split second, he sits up a little straighter and opens a can of beer, passing it to you. you pretend nothing went on and took the can, muttering a small ‘thanks.’

“taehyung. pass me the cards.” the friendly girl called to him and you leaned back in your seat, thinking he was going to pass it from the front. but obviously, you’re wrong. you lean back slightly and touch his arm, leaving you a little frightened.

the girl takes the cards from her side and he moves his hand back, but not back to him. he pats your back and caresses the skin lightly. you turn to look at him, he drank a lot today. red tint on his cheeks and a small smile pierced on his lips. the hand moves down and stops on your waist. you move your attention onto your boyfriend, who’s currently doing god-knows-what, obviously clueless to what is happening between you and tae.

you move back to the position you were in before and take the can of beer and take a big sip, washing the feelings down and avoiding the grip he has on your waist. you watch your boyfriend sit closer to you guys, asking what you guys were going to play. and of course, his ‘other girl’ followed. “truth or dare….duh!”

and the game started.

by round 5, you were caught. “truth or dare, y/n?”

you knew what was dare going to be, ‘pose your favorite sex position, chug a coke bottle, deepthroat a banana.’ the usual.

“truth.”

“okay….hm…..how did you fall in love with your boyfriend?”

your boyfriend looked at you, hinting for a good answer, one that he can feel proud about and brag to the boys about.

you ignore it and give your honest answer. “his outfit on the day we went on our first date.”

it was something you never mentioned or said to him because he obviously was taken by surprise. and it was true. that day your boyfriend was wearing a silk button-up with baggy khaki pants, leather shoes, and styled fluffy hair. it was something you would never forget, although it was kind of weird that he never wore anything in that kind of style afterward.

the other person continued asking: “so what kind of outfit was it?!”

“that’s the second question,” you answer and he nods, starting the next round.

after the game, you guys finally returned back to the rooms. and of course, he had to bring up the question. “you liked me because of my outfit?” it wasn’t even in a joking tone, he sounded angry. “well….yeah….at first it was the outfit….then…..”

you didn’t finish the sentence.

then you stopped liking him.

you wished you had the courage to say that out loud. but you didn’t. and he nodded before sitting on the bed with you, obviously wanting to do more that night.

you refused and pulled out a random excuse, telling him you’re on your period and have really bad cramps. he huffs and goes back on his phone, texting someone. a good minute passed and he excused himself to ‘buy some cigarettes downstairs”.

buy some cigarettes?

in a bathrobe?

funny.

he shuts the hotel room door and you peek from the key eye that he disappeared into another room in front of yours.

you get out your phone and text taehyung.

y/n: where are you?

taehyung: next to yours

y/n: anyone there?

taehyung: just come over

you change back into the clothing you had on an hour ago and walk over to the room. before even knocking, the door opened. taehyung was also in a white bathrobe, looking down at you: “what does miss y/n want in the middle of the night?”

“spreading the love around the community.” you take out a large branded gift bag and he smiles, offering you to come in the room. he shuts the door behind you and your fingers find their way into his bathrobe. he slowly removes your hand from his chest and clears his throat, reminding you: “there are people here, you’re a bit too eager, miss y/n.”

you turn to find the friendly girl and another boy sitting on the couch, two wine glasses in hand and ‘enjoying the show.’ your face heats up and drops the bag before moving to storm out of the room due to embarrassment. he grabs onto you and tells the two people to leave first.

the girl shakes her head and giggles lightly, “we’re awfully sorry for disturbing you, now, go ‘unwrap’ your present.”

the two people left and your mood also left the room. he chuckles and takes the bag with one and keeps the other hand on your waist. “i’m glad you came.”

you remove his hand from your waist. “it’s your birthday, i had to come.”

“no, not that, i meant i'm glad you came to my room to ‘spread the love around the community.' ” you spack his arm from the reminder that you were probably going to be made fun of that forever.

as if there was even going to be a ‘forever’.

he looks down at the bag curiously. “can i open it?”

“of course.”

the first and only time you went to his house, you were immediately in love with the design and interior of his house, vintage and simple. so you had decided to give him an antique record player because it completely matched his vibe and personality.

“oh shit. i like that. does it work? it is new? how expensive was this thing? the design of this thing is so unique.” he looked as if he quite liked it.

he takes it out of the box and observes it, and carefully back into the packaging, placing it on the couch, he leaned over without any warning. you felt a cold and light peak on your face and by the time he moved away, your face was burning. you bring your hands up to your cheeks and look at him, speechless.

“hey, i said i didn’t want anything but a kiss yesterday.”

“..........”

“thank you very much, y/n”

again, without any warning, you were pushed onto his bed. “taehyung what the fuck-”

“shh. unboxing my present.” he uses one hand to pin both of your hands up, locking you in place. “also, i forgot to tell you. soo-young said she saw the both of them leave to the bathroom for a good 20 minutes when he was ‘making a call’. you didn’t even need to think who he was indicating with ‘them’. rolling your eyes at the disgusting mention of him, you wrapped your arms around his neck.

he looked at you before asking. “why did you come over tonight?”

“....he left for another room.”

taehyung didn’t understand: “is he not interested in you?”

you shake your head. “i said i was on my period.”

he raised his eyebrow in a teasing manner. “really?”

“what do you think? i'm literally here, in your room. under you.”

you don’t know if it was the alcohol that made the both of you a little more braver tonight or was it the excitement that your boyfriend and everyone else didn’t even matter at this moment.

his lips felt soft and warmer than when they were against your cheek. weird, you two have already slept twice, and yet, kissing seemed more intimate than sex. you avoided eye contact when the two of your lips met. his hand found its way onto your neck, forcing you to look at him. the kiss felt passionate, more than what a friends-with-benefits kiss should feel like.

“you kinda suck at kissing, miss y/n.” taehyung muttered between groans.

your only boyfriend was the one you had right now, so you’ve never known the difference between a kiss and another, but now you do, and you are sure that he will be the reason that you will like kissing.

the moments went on and although he was doing many, other things, creating many, other roadmaps around your body, he never stopped the attack on your lips. you gain your consciousness to speak between breaths. telling him to at least stop for a moment or else your lips will swell up, he listened, removing his lips from yours and keeping his hands on your waist, steadily trying to keep you in place while invading your body. and then again, his mouth found the familiar spot. and bit it down.

“tae!”

he hummed and stopped in his movements while looking at you with a huge smirk: “not my fault. i was in the moment, jagi.”

what can you do when he looks like that, hovering above you?

taehyung takes your soft hand and peaks it before speaking through deep groans. “you wanna know a secret….”

his voice was interrupted by your phone’s vibration on the bedside table. he could grab it easily, but he didn’t, ignoring the phone. your hands were placed against his chest. “hey…wait…phone.” but the strength difference between the both of you was so big that you just gave up, and the loving continued.

after another 2 minutes, another phone rang again, it was his this time. and you had finally realized with the little left of brain left in your head, that it could very possibly be that asshole.

calling because of the fact that he went back to the room, but you were not there.

you were sweating everywhere when taehyung reached for his phone this time and answered it in a heartbeat. (or two heartbeats because your heart is beating too fast right now.)

you hear the familiar sound and bite down on your lip, trying not to make a noise, but it was impossible when he was using all his stamina. “hey tae, are you busy right now?”

“yeah, very.” taehyung answers and leans down to kiss you, the phone microphone less than an inch away from your face, you move away and hold your breath. “why did you call me this late?” the other side pauses, then speaks again. “my girlfriend isn’t in the room, i dunno where she went.”

taehyung lets out a laugh. “then how would i know.” after he had said the sentence, he started moving even faster, if that was possible. without any guard, you let out a small sound. definitely knowing what was going on, the other side responded quickly: “oh, you guys continue, i won’t disturb you anymore.” and then ended the call.

“taehyung i have to go back-”

he didn’t even budge.

“no seriously. please.”

“jagi…be patient…” his husky voice came on into your ear and you decided maybe you weren’t that urgent.

you felt like a chunk of dough afterward, head in his chest and his arms embracing you warmly. “soo-young, yeah, just say she’s staying in your room for the night.” he hung up and moved in to connect lips with you again, and you moved away. “angry again?”

you did not respond. “you’re always angry after sex, it’s funny.” you push him away. “i’m going back.” you mumble.

he stares you down. “right now? not scared to be found out?”

“found out what?” you questioned

he looks you up and down. “you do know if you walk out like that, anyone can tell what you just did.”

you realized: “........let me borrow your bathroom then.”

he let go of you, “go ahead, pretty girl.”

you walk into the bathroom and again, like always, observe the ‘crime scene’. the same marks, hickeys, and the one bite mark you’re already used to, you smile. sometimes after a while, you realize that the mark is gone. and that makes you feel empty. it feels when a permanent tattoo is suddenly removed and you’re unused to it. then you were covered by a while soft clothing is thrown at you. you could tell from the light scent that this was no other bathrobe than tae’s. you close your eyes and turn away from the big mirror. you see taehyung get dressed through the foggy and mosaic glass door and knocking comes from the outside. you hear the annoying voice: “soo-young told me she’s in her room. but i don’t know where soo-young’s room is.”

taehyung lazily spoke: “i don’t remember, let the two girls have fun, don’t interrupt them.”

he laughs. “of course, you have a lovely girl with you. you won’t understand the loneliness of having no girl to fuck.”

taehyung responded coldly: “don’t you have another one?”

the other side quietly responded, reminding taehyung to never mention that again in front of you, taehyung reassured him that he will never make jokes like that in front of his girlfriend, and rushed him to leave.

after hearing the door closing, you walked out of the bathroom and taehyung walked behind you, you were taken by surprise when he walks in front of you and his arms looped around your waist and he tucked his head in the crook of your neck comfortably, as if it was made for his face. “hey, tae, my hair’s not dried.” you take a hand and softly play with his hair. he lazily takes his hand and returns the favor, running his fingers through the strands of your hair. “it’s dried~” his voice sounded tired and you slowly led him to the bed. you waited until he fell asleep and covered him with the soft duvet.

his hand reached out as if he wanted to grab something, like a small animal without a sense of security. you laughed to yourself and reached your hand over, and he pulled you into his arms.

this was your first time staying overnight, but you were already so used to his scent that it felt like home already. you fell asleep in his embrace safely and easily.

you woke up not knowing what time it was. the curtains were blocking all the light, so you had to check your phone for the time. it was only 8 am, there was an unread message from soo-young. “Hey I have sleeping tantrums so they won’t disturb me- I normally sleep till 10 or noon.” you knew the text was just informing you that you can stay at tae’s until 10 am. from the few interactions with soo young last night, you have figured out that she was no other than a friend of taehyung’s that is super nice and bubbly.

you feel taehyung shift behind you into a better position, your back is touching his chest, and you can feel his slow rising of the chest and the sound of his gentle and soft heartbeat. you put your phone down and turn over to him. he opened his eyes slightly to only see that you turned towards him, and your eyes are now closed. his hand found its way to your soft strands and caressed them like usual, and you two fell back into sleep.

the second time waking up was when you heard the tap running from the bathroom. the other side of the bed was already empty, and you watched the boy walk from the direction of the bathroom. “good morning.” he greeted you and bent down to peak your lips. you could taste the freshness of mouthwash and see small water drops on his long eyelashes, his eyes are dark and bright, and reflecting you. “did you sleep well, jagi?” you nod in response.

he squished your cheeks softly and spoke and instructed you like a parent. “he woke up, i’ll drag him down for breakfast now, and soo-young will pick you up and you two can go down together.” you nodded again and he patted your head. “do you specifically want to eat something? i’ll order in advance.”

“...i don’t have much appetite.” you replied and watched as he put on his yellow hoodie.

after half an hour, soo-young knocked on your door, the both of you walked downstairs and started chatting. you got to know that she was classmates with both taehyung and your boyfriend. she said many good things about taehyung when they were classmates, she completely refreshed your opinion about him.

you wanted to know if soo young had watched his sexual partners changed, if he treated them all differently, if they were pretty, if he spent time with them outside of having sex, if he ever felt attracted to them, you wanted to know it all. but who were you to ask? who said you were that important?

you hesitated for a second to ask the question lingering in your head all along: “.......is he always so gentle with his partners?”

so gentle it feels like love.

oh god you wished she refused, so you can stop making a fool of yourself. so you can stop this ‘trade’ with him, so you can move away before you fall in love, so you can distance yourself from him. but soo-young shook her head. “no, it’s because it's you are-” her voice stops when the elevator opens to reveal no other than the unwelcomed girl. soo-young greeted her with a forced voice and she explained (as if the two of you asked) that she had already eaten and wanted to go back to sleep. “you must’ve been pretty wild last night. very dark circles.” soo-young joked and the girl rolled her eyes before staring right at you. “i’m so lonely and single….how would i be wilding around with other men?” she emphasised on the other men and you walked out of the elevator with soo-young without sparing her a glance.

you and soo-young made way into the room and you walked to sit with your boyfriend, then soo-young next to you, and then tae. your boyfriend immediately started offering you coffee and toast, helping you to spread jam and you thanked him quietly. when you all had finished breakfast, everyone left to tidy up their hotel rooms.

you and your boyfriend met soo-young and taehyung outside the elevator afterwards. your boyfriend had his arm around you and was laughed when he saw taehyung, jokingly asking him about ‘the chick you were fucking last night’. then you feel the atmosphere changed, you look up from your phone and onto taehyung. to spot the wine red wool scarf you were wearing last night to the party, now wrapped around taehyung’s neck. the hand wrapped across you immediately stiffens. you realized that the reason why you felt so naked and revealed was due to the fact that you forgot your scarf in his room.your mind goes blank and your face flushes pale. that second, you felt completely stripped away.

“that scarf….isn’t that y/ns?”

taehyung looked at you, and smiled: “hm? i don’t know, i found it in my room.”

and that was it.

you wanted to run away or dig a hole and bury yourself into the ground forever.

when taehyung’s last words came out and into the air, everything went silent. you kept your eyes focused on the empty elevator that has just arrived, unable to get yourself to look at anyone else.

your boyfriend speaks again: “explain it then.“

soo-young clears the atmosphere quickly, “taehyung stop fucking joking. it’s not funny!”

she then carries on to “explain” it to your boyfriend that you left it in her room and taehyung said it was cold so he took it off her to wear it.

not going to lie, that was very convincing considering it was something tae would do. but your boyfriend was too angry to comprehend words or even use his brain (as if he had one.) “take it off.”

“what if i don’t want to?”

your boyfriend lets go of your shoulder and reaches his arm over to yank the scarf off. before he could, two of taehyung’s other friends came and immediately pulled them away, thinking they were going to start beating each other up. they got both of them into the elevator and started asking soo-young wha happened, she kept her arms linked with yours and stayed silent. then you hear a serious voice again. “take the scarf off.”

taehyung did not listen to him, instead, he leaned towards you and looked into your eyes, as if he was pleading for something. “y/n, i’m kinda cold, do i have to take it off?”

you wished you could’ve said something but you knew that even another word would completely wreck this mood that was already terribly bad. you guys had reached the car park and split paths. your boyfriend was more than angry, like a monster. he drove the car so fast that you had to grab onto the safety belt. you bite down on your lips as you slowly mutter out two words: “i’m scared.” his hands tightened on the driving wheel and sped up, as if it was even possible. you gave it a minute or two and spoke calmly.

“it’s just a scarf. you gave her half your wardrobe and i didn’t say shit.” he immediately knew who you meant by ‘her’, he remained to stay silent and you felt relieved, he slowed down the speed and you took a deep breath. you felt scared two minutes ago but right now, you’re enjoying the sweet taste of victory. after you two had arrived home he walked in front of you, stepping into the bedroom and slamming the door shut loudly, but you did not bother.

you were in a good mood, walking into the kitchen and making yourself noodles, then ignoring his existence as you enjoyed the night of silence.

the second day came quickly and you woke up from the couch and received a text before you got to work.

taehyung: are you okay? did he do anything bad?

y/n: no he didn’t

you didn’t have enough energy to lash out at him for wearing the scarf out, you didn’t want to ask him why he did what he did.

taehyung answered in less than a second: good, i was so worried about you.

taehyung: fuck, i’m so sorry for doing that. i don’t know why i did it. it was so childish of me. i have been beating myself up the whole night because i did that.

you read the text over and over again before responding. “never again.” the text wasn’t to scold, it was a meaning that you don’t ever want to interact with him ever again. you don’t want anything to do with him now. but you couldn’t get yourself to say that although you mean it.

he obviously did not know what you meant by ‘never again’, responding again: do you have time tonight? i want to have dinner with you.

y/n: it’s gonna be pretty awkward

this time he sent over a voicemail, “hey, don’t answer so quickly. it's going to be more awkward if we never ever talk it out, right? i just wanted to spend time with you to talk it out, we can go to my friend’s restaurant, the food there is great, it’s italian.”

his side was quiet, the only thing you can hear being his voice. you can hear how clean and pure his voice is. the first half was more of a joking tone, and the last half was completely serious.

taehyung: please, jagi, give me a chance to apologize in person.

you could not resist the voicemail and the text, answering an ‘okay’.

taehyung: tell me when you’re off, i’ll pick you up.

you sent your address and the time over, and he responded with a cheeky emoji.

the afternoon arrived and you left 10 minutes early, standing outside of your workplace, you start typing a message to taehyung as you spot in the middle of your eye, a very familiar car. you felt like a cat whose tail had just been stepped on, you peek at the man who’s currently sitting on the driver's seat and playing on his phone, unable to believe that your own cheating boyfriend is speculating that you are cheating so now he is on a mission to stalk you every day after work. you quickly caught a taxi and jumped on it, giving the driver a random area to drive to, then turning slightly, you find the same car following you.

a call form taehyung came by and you answered it with trembling fingers “i don’t think im free tonight, he’s following me.”“mhm. i know.” taehyung’s warm voice came through and you felt calmed by his soft voice.

“how do you know?”

“i saw him when he was tryna find a parking spot. he didn’t see me though.”

“so you were here ages ago?”

“yeah, waiting for you.”

you smiled and ended the call and called a friend asking if you can come over to hang. she agreed and you made your way to her place. you did not want to go home. it felt like a prison back home. after having dinner, taehyung texted.

taehyung: ate dinner?

y/n: yeah you?

taehyung: can you come downstairs? i have something for you.

you didn’t understand the text until you read it again: “where are you?”

taehyung: parking lot, he left, don’t worry.

you calculated the time, it has been at least 3 hours since you have arrived at your friend’s house, does that mean has been waiting for at least 3 hours downstairs?

you excused yourself and put on your coat to run downstairs. you spot his car when you walked down, he opened the door and you couldn’t help but to smile when you met eyes with him.

it has only been a day since you last saw him, but it was a very, very tiring day.

his hair was long and nearly covering his eyes, wearing a sweater vest over a long white blouse. he had a warm smile on his face when he walked towards you. he stopped in front of you and helped you fold your coat collar down. “you must’ve really wanted to see me, didn’t even wear your coat properly.” you look up at him. “did you stay here waiting for me?”

he hummed in response. “i'm afraid there won't be any taxis by the time you leave.”

“didn’t i tell you that i won’t make it to see you today though?”

his glance softened and he mumbles under his breath. “but……i really wanna see you……plus, it’s the last day of the year…” his voice trails on the last word and you feel yourself melt. “don’t try to seduce me, kim taehyung.” he laughs at the comment: “i actually have something for you.”

“what?”

“your scarf.”

you declined and refused to take the bag from his hand. “you don’t have to give it back.” the scarf would bring up the moment you want to forget so bad.

he nudges you gently. “just open it even if you don’t want it.” you look at the bag and observe the logo on the cream white bag. it wasn’t just a normal random paper bag, it looks brand new and just bought. you slowly take the scarf out of the bag, to find a similar scarf as the one yesterday, but more expensive.

after seeing the scarf, you put it back into the packaging bag. “return it, i can’t take that.”

“but i really don’t want to give you your old scarf, it reminds me of you…” you told him that you don’t need him to give it back. “i don’t like owning other people things. i give all my friends things, infact, our relationship is definitely more than friends at this point…right?”

of course. of course you two are more than friends. you two skipped the step where you ‘be friends’, you two are not up to the level of ‘cheater and cheating partner’. you two are complicated.

you pause before overthinking more into this situation and take the bag from him slowly, “thank you.”

he pinches your cheek and smiles at the gesture.

he then sent you home, but parked his car a little away from your house, knowing to keep distance in case something unexpected happened. you walk for a few minutes, turning around before you enter the building. he was leaning on his car door, staring into the night like a peaceful painting. and then you remembered what you had forgotten, you had forgotten to tell him that you don’t want to contact or meet with him ever again. but you were sure that even if you remembered the idea, you probably couldn’t even get yourself to say it to him face to face.

even though you hesitated texting it to him too. you were so used to the greed and clinging feeling you could have and enjoy with him, you enjoyed the gentle and softness he always made you feel but at the same time, felt as if it was never there.

before you had walked upstairs to reach your house, you received another text form taehyung.

taehyung: don’t go home.

y/n: ?

taehyung: break up with him.

you didn‘t pay much attention to it, the day was tiring and it is finally the last day of the year. work has been tiring you out and you felt your entire body hurt from overworking and staying up too late to catch up on deadlines. all you wanted to was to hop into bed and sleep the night away. and tomorrow will be a brand new year. it will be a new day and you will gain enough courage to actually do what you intended to do-

he was waiting for you by the front door. you force a smile and try to squeeze past into the house. “nuh-uh. baby.” your boyfriend blocks you by the doorway and you roll your eyes impatiently. “why can’t we talk and do whatever tomorrow? i’m really tired-” you feel your eyes being covered by complete darkness. he grabbed your arm and led you into the room. you felt as if something was going to happen. and you don’t like the feeling of this. “what…the fuck are you doing?” you knew your house by heart, knowing exactly where you are right now and where he is now leading you to: the kitchen.

he lets out a laugh, “well….remembered the place we always went for dessert? they shut down in the middle of the year when we were studying in uni. i finally found the baker and paid them to make the exact cake you liked….wanna try?”

you don’t know how to describe the feeling you were feeling now. this is not something he would be doing and you are sure that he had other plans than just ‘ordering you a cake’. you kept silent when you smell the sweet scent from the cake being passed to you. you don’t take it. you don’t dare to take it. “just try it, y/n. i spent too long waiting for it.”

he nudged your mouth with the fork and you delayed to take the bite in. to be very honest, you had completely forgotten the taste of the cake, you didn’t care if he actually fed you cake or poison or a block of sponge, you wanted the night to be over. or even better, you wanted to see taehyung instead of him.

then you pause.

you move your hand up to take the item out of your mouth while the other hand reaches to yank the eye mask off.

the room was not bright enough to make your eyes hurt, you scan around quickly and figured out what was going to happen in the next few minutes. there are candlelights on the dining table, pink balloons floating in the air, you see a few boys with champagne in their hands, standing with the man who is currently looking at you with a smirk, they are ready to celebrate this. you hear someone run up the stairs, and you turn to see no other person than tae, he must’ve checked his phone after spending the hour with you. there was no light in his eyes when they met yours. they were dark and emotionless.

because the thing in your hand was a diamond ring.

you stand still in your spot, circled by the pink balloons that spell out ‘marry me’, completely shocked by the fact that he was going to propose to you because he knew that you had found out of his disgusting behaviour and using this ‘marriage’ to cover everything up has been the best plan in his opinion. before he could even get down on his knees to say whatever disgusting and unrealistic things he had to say, you stopped him.

“why don’t you go and marry that girl instead.” you point to the girl with a fake smile plastered on your face. “that bitch seemed to be everywhere you were anyways.” the atmosphere changed when you had spoken those words.

you watch his face freeze for a slight second and he breaks into a small smile, “babe….stop joking…what are you talking about?” the girl standing in the corner seemed to be stuck by your words, unable to move and tears swelled up in her face, but unable to fall out either. you nod and smile at everyone, including the girls: “haha..yeah just a joke guys.” the others obviously knew what was going to happen next, bringing up some excuse and leaving hastily, wishing you guys well although they know for fuck sure that you guys will obviously, not have a well night.

when you turned, you realised that taehyung had also left with the others. you ignore whatever will happen soon and make way into the bedroom, leaving the proposer in the living room to clean up the mess, not only the mess in the room, but the mess in his heart. you lock the room behind your room and see the two messages tae sent when he left your place just minutes ago, but it felt like hours, maybe even years.

taehyung: broken up?

taehyung: watch him apologize and call it a misunderstanding

taehyung: you’re not gonna marry that asshole right?

you couldn’t help but tease him. “nah im gonna marry him and then secretly cheat with u on him

taehyung: :) bye

after the man outside had cleaned the room, you hear him try to open your bedroom door. you take a deep breath, knowing what will come in a few seconds. “open the door, let’s talk.” his voice came over and you didn’t give it any attention other than taking the silver ring from your bedside table, walking to the door and sliding it to him from under the door. “i want to talk to you.” you suggested and he continued to speak cheekily. “babe, then open the door, we can talk.”

you didn’t open the door, still talking through the door. “i don’t want to marry you.” he went silent for a few seconds, “why? am i not doing something right?” you find it amazingly annoying how he still thinks that this is a joke, and through the door, you decided to speak honestly with him. “i like someone else.”

his voice sounds a little more disappointed and emotional now, “kim taehyung, right?” you hummed in response. he was trying to resist anger, you can hear it. “we’ve been together for so long…we have love, you only have liking for him. he’s just a fuck boy, he isn’t worth your liking, y/n….”

you smirked at what you were going to say next: “i not only like him, i fucked him.”

dead silence.

you repeat it again: “i slept with tae.”

he knocks loudly at the wooden door, “open the door and we can discuss this.”

you knew better to not open the door, you knew how angry he was going to be, and you were not going to risk anything. “look, you’ve also done many other filthy shit behind my back, with that bitch, there was no point of being so angry about the fact that i fucked taehyung-” before you could finish, a loud noise came from the door, so strong that you watched the dust form the walls bounce off.

he kicked the door. you back away. he aggressively turns the metal handle. “open the fucking door!” your heart is beating fast, not only from fright, but also excitement. although there was fear, you felt good about getting him back this way. this was more exciting than walking in on them, this was more exciting than calling them out at a dinner. he felt angry, and he should. he should feel very angry.

it was impossible for him to break the door, the door was made from quality and hardwood, the lock was secure and impossible for one man to break. you pushed the desk over to also strengthen the already very strong door. he swore and fought the door for a long time, and until when he was finally tired, he threatened you through the door. “trust me, if you don’t open the door, i’ll burn this entire house down.” you replied calmly. “i called the guards, if anything unsafe happens, they’ll rush here in a sec.”

he felt defeated yet still wanted to talk it out. “....can you tell me when it happened?”

silence. “was it the time when you were at soo young’s room? you were in his? that night?” you didn’t try to deny it. “then….”he stopped asking now, and you hear his footsteps trailing away. you continued tidying your things and sent a text to a friend, asking her to come and pick you up. then you received a text from taehyung.

taehyung: what happened?

taehyung: he told me to come back to your place

taehyung: seriously, what happened?

y/n: don’t. fucking. come.

taehyung: ?

y/n: i told him things! don’t come up unless u want him to beat ur ass

taehyung: i'm not scared of that assbag

before you could send the last text out of frustration, you hear knocking come out from the front door. alright, then that was quite speedy. you take a deep breath to prepare for what was going to happen next. you try to move the desk that was blocking the door away, but found it extremely hard to move the desk away now that you have pressed it against the door, you struggled to push it away until you could open a small creak between the door, but it was still too small for you to peep out. you hear the front door being opened and your boyfriend reminding taehyung to take off his shoes. taehyung didn’t seem to move at all, instead asking where you were.

he insisted that taehyung should change his shoes. “i just cleaned the room, take your shoes off.” you push the desk a little bit more, finally being able to see the living room from your room. taehyung heard the sound of the desk being moved against the hard wooden floor, making a step to where your room was, but immediately pulled back by the other man. “take your fucking shoes off.” tae moved his arm to shake the hand off, but resulted in being blocked by the opponent. he spoke with no emotions on his face.

“you’re gonna sleep with my woman i have slept with,,,you’re gonna pick up the trash that i have discarded? you have problems, dude.” taehyung ignored him and still tried to walk towards you, but dragged once again, and this time. it was not only a drag but a harsh punch.

you hear a groan from taehyung, knowing that that punch was filled with very much rage and anger and if definitely had hurt him. you felt your heartache and your body’s first instinct was to run and check if he was okay, you push the desk to the other side as hard as you can, but you could not think straight enough to get yourself out of this trap you have created. taehyung gave you a reassuring smile when your eyes met him, his lip was now bleeding slightly and you felt tears swell up in your eyes. taehyung licked his lips and turned his head towards the very angry man standing behind him: “did i owe you this punch or am i supposed to be the one punching you, dickhead?” after hearing the words, his eyes went completely black, running to hover over taehyung, taehyung ducks and moves away, speaking again. “sleeping with your woman? ask yourself, was she supposed to be yours?” taehyung feels his collar being grabbed onto by the man, “so? she’s mine right now!” tae lets out a small smirk and moves his hands away from his collar. “if it wasn’t me, do you think you would be here with her right now?” after the sentence, you watch the anger disappear out of his eyes, he muttered under his breath. “you promised me you won’t ever speak about this ever again.”

taehyung laughs and nods. “well, i’ll take it back now.” the anger burns up again and before anything else could have a chance to happen, you speak. “look, i got with him because i found out you cheated on me weeks ago.” he stopped everything, looking back at you, first you find the look of shock, then the look of hope, of a liar. “look, i don’t have any feelings for her, it was a short term thing, everything ended. i promise, it will never happen again.” his eyes lit up as he tried to sound convincing enough: “please! from today on nothing will happen, i won’t care about anything you did. we can start again, it’ s easy.”

you shake your head. “no.” your heart starts hunting more and you try to not let any feelings get in the way, this is over. no more apologies will work. you decided this from day one.

he knew you enough to know that you never break up casually, in fact, you never did. you try very hard to avoid conflict and breaking up. so when you had declined his offer, he knew exactly what you meant about this relationship that had died long ago. you watch the light disappear in his eyes as he squats down, mumbling apologies as if they were only for him to hear. there was no one blocking tae now, meaning he could come to you. he took calm steps to you, knocking on the door frame: “back away.” you move back steadily and you watch him kick the door that both the door and the desk move to the side, the corner of the desk making a huge line of scraped up wall paint. he takes your suitcase with one hand and the other hand wraps itself around your body. “is there anything left?” you shake your head and take the suitcase from him, moving in front of him to escape his grasp.

the now silent man didn’t block you two from leaving this time. you two walked into the elevator silently. taehyung keeps his gaze off you, and you watch the door close, then turn back to him. “thank you.” he keeps his eyes focused on the level buttons. “for what?” you were confused by the sudden attitude that had made you confused as to why you were even thanking him in the first place “....thank you for kicking the door open for me…?” he smiles at your sentence, finally looking down at you. you noticed the swollen mark on his face, it now is vividly red and bruised too. he sees your glance fall from his eyes down to his lips, and onto the injury. “i owe him that. that punch.” you felt as if you weren’t supposed to be in between the two friends, to cause this scene and wreck their friendship. “i’m so sorry…i shouldn’t have told him it was you…in fact…i shouldn’t have ever done it.” you blurted out that ‘you slept with tae’ because you wanted revenge, you wanted him to feel what you felt for days and nights beforehand, and it was going to be worse because it’s his friend taehyung.

“it’s okay, y/n. it wasn’t a strong friendship…he was always a selfish asshole. so i’m glad you told him, to be honest, i'm more afraid if you never told him about us.” he smiles, reassuring you, he reaches his hand over to caress your hair, opening his mouth to speak again. “oh god..imagine if he didn’t call me over because you didn’t tell him anything….you would not be having a great time right now.” you argue: “i locked the door for a reason.” he looks at you seriously. “doesn’t trapping yourself in a bedroom make this situation even more sticky than it already was?” you went speechless, he had a point.

“wait,” you questioned. “you left for a while, so how did you get back here so fast?” the escalator has arrived in time, he walks behind you with your suitcase, the other hand ghosting around your waist, still leaving you some personal space, answering you. “i never left.”

you raise your eyebrows in surprise, “how did you sense that i was going to confess what we did to him?” he shakes his head. “i didn’t know, not only that, i even thought that you may agree to the proposal and choose him. i had that illusion when i shut the door behind me.” you were confused. “then how did you…” you ask back in confusion, he doesn’t explain further, finding his car and putting your suitcase in the trunk, then proceeding to open the door for you, but not shutting the door when you sat in, he just stood there, watching you grab the seat belt and proceeding to try and lock it.

at last, his voice sounded as light as feathers floating into the atmosphere. “i just couldn’t get myself to leave you behind.”

your action stops with your heart. it was impossible for you to stay serious and lock the seatbelt in place, you look up at him for the millionth time today. “taehyung…i don’t want to play this game anymore.” his face changes immediately. “what do you mean?”

“im single now. don’t try to seduce me or else you’ll be stuck with me for the rest of your life.” you smile cheekily and he lets out a breath that he has started to hold for the last few seconds.

“of course i know that. i would love if if you were stuck with me for the rest of our lives.” he moved closer and bends over to help you with your seatbelt. he looks straight at you with reassurance in his eyes. “i know it’s gonna sound weird, but i'm glad you decided to contact me when you were looking for your ‘cheating partner’.” he laughed and you followed, both feeling relieved.

you lean back in your seat to maintain distance before asking a question that has just popped into your mind. “hey, what did you mean by the words you said to him?”

the sentence and the scene when taehyung smirked and removed the man’s hands off his white-collar came back into your brain. “if it wasn’t me, do you think you would be here with her right now?” what did it mean?

taehyung’s eyes formed a line as he smiled. “i'll tell you if you kiss me.”

you shake your head immediately. “never mind then. mr taehyung said my kissing skills sucked.” he laughed. “well you sure do hold grudges....”

he shut the car door and walked to the driver’s seat, starting the car he looked at you, after gaining your attention away from the phone and onto him, he raised his eyebrows before whispering, “hey, wanna know a secret?” “yeah..what?” you ask. he gestured with his pointer finger to come closer. “come closer.” your ears straightened themselves to know the secret as you moved closer, but instead surprised by a small peak on your cheek. your hands raise up to cover your cheek and you fall back to the seat. “you’re such a dick.”

he chuckled before speaking. “the secret is that, you know the outfit he wore on the first date with you? yeah, it was actually my outfit. bitch went through my closet and stole my fit for the day.” you giggle and nod. no wonder he never wore that kind of clothes in the future. he keeps his eyes on you and you patiently wait for him to start driving.

“are you gonna drive?” you ask impatiently and his hands find their way to hold onto your wrists. “hey hey hey, really not a kiss?” with the pleading tone in his voice, you couldn't say no, just nodding and he moved towards you, your lips crashed and you were completely under his control. your lips moved against his and your lips stuck to each other perfectly like two puzzle pieces. your breath starts to become heavy and harder to breathe. your face heats up and reddens all the way to your earlobes. he pulls away and mutters under his breath with his husky voice. “fuck…..i cant promise what will happen if we continue this on the car…” you cover your face with your hands and talk through your hands. “..exactly, so let’s get out of here.” he knits his brows, “where are we going then, miss y/n?” you smile cheekily and move your hands away from your face and check the time. 11:45 PM.

“mr taehyung, are you currently looking for a roommate for the new year?”

“hm. not really. i am looking for a y/n to spend the new year with though.” he smiles lightly and starts driving home. your home. his home. home for two.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

the clock strikes twelve o’clock. the fireworks make their way into the night sky and you can hear cheering from afar. you are on the couch and in his lap. the huge window showing you everything happening around you, the colors with the pouring snow in front of you through the glass and behind you, you have him and his warm body, something that you have never dared thinking about is happening to you this moment. right here, right now, this is your home and you belong here.

the snow continued and you stayed comfortably in his lap, and descended to dreamland. happy new year, kim taehyung. in the light slumber, you feel a familiar hand rubbing your hair with such care, and a deep, soft whisper coming from the boy, his chest vibrating with every syllable.

“happy new years, y/n.”

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

it was quiet in the house when you woke up in the middle of the night due to not being in his embrace. the night has finally silenced down, no more new year cheers and fireworks. you walk around the large house, trying to search for the familiar person. the tiles were cold on your feet as you travelled from the living room to the kitchen, then finding him sitting by the kitchen island. the moonlight shined a shard down to the ground and you watched his side profile. in a black silk blouse, unbuttoned and a slender hand grabbing onto a wine glass filled with a red liquor. he turned to look at you after feeling your glance on him. “come here.” he said in a low voice, almost like a whisper. you make your way over, watching him take the rest of the liquid in one sip, swallowing before wrapping his hand around your wrist. he pulls you closer and blocks your lips with his.

you can still taste the intense wine on his tongue when he connects his soft lips with yours. the intensity of the sour yet sweet alcohol burns your throat. your instinct made you wrap your arms around his neck as you made your way comfortably sitting on his lap. slowly moving down your face, your lips found his pretty neck, kissing the smooth skin, you hear him hiss in your ear before he wraps his arms around you to bring you upstairs while his hand slowly crawls up your dress.

his voice rings in your ears once more: “this time let’s make love. not sex. love.” (end.)

thank you so much for taking your time to enjoy this <3

here is my masterlist if you want to enjoy some more of my writing!

and until next time,

thankq loveys!

#it is here it is here! #guys i have a fear of writing pps and bonks so ignore it when i use all the other metaphors and similes i can think of #i will never ever live up to the day where i write COCK in my works. #wdyd!universe #wdyd!taehyung #taehyung smut #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff smut #taehyung angst smut #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut drabble #taehyung fluff recs #taehyung smut recs #taehyung fic recs #kim taehyung x y/n #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung fanfic #bts smut #bts masterlist #taehyung angst drabble #bts x you #taehyung fics #taehyung smut fic #kim taehyung angst #kim taehyung fluff #taehyung angst scenario #taehyung reactions #taehyung imagine #boyfriend taehyung

[anna-scribbles]

an announcement

hey everyone! I just wanted to let you all know that my tumblr and instagram accounts will be inactive until further notice. more information under the cut, but long story short: I have had an incredibly fun and positive time sharing my art with you all over the last year or so. however, I’ve noticed myself making my internet presence way too much of a priority in my life, and it’s become unhealthy for my relationships and my faith. I’ve decided to take a step back. if I ever feel like it’s a healthy choice for me to come back to these accounts, then I’d love to--but right now it’s not. thank you for understanding.

if anyone needs to contact me, I’ll still be available on discord or through my email [email protected]. my accounts will not be deactivated, all my content will stay up, I just will not be active here anymore.

(head’s up: I’ll be talking about my Christian faith in the explanation)

About six months ago, I was facing a really big life decision and one of the big questions I had was what my art was supposed to be for. Before I began posting my art online a little over a year ago, I never thought much of it; I drew characters that I liked because it made me feel happy. But after the pandemic hit and quarantine began, I felt bored and sad and I decided to finally make a tumblr account and post some pictures on it. About a week after I made the account, I drew a comic that was a crossover between steven universe and gravity falls, and it blew up. I started getting thousands of followers every day, and I’d never had followers on anything before in my life, and it was exciting, and I didn’t want it to stop. I did feel God impressing on my heart back then that I needed to ask Him for permission to do this, but I was so worried of losing the momentum of my rapid following that I ignored Him.

Since that week, my follower base has grown to 17k on tumblr and 20k on instagram. To be honest, I think about it all the time. All my free time is spent creating content, or consuming content, or obsessively looking through the reactions to the content I produce. All this to say, the events of the last year have caused me to see my art differently, to believe that it was good. Not because of what God says about me, but because of what strangers on the internet did. And this newfound belief in my artistic skill caused me a newfound source of pain and confusion: I became worried that I was wasting it. I was worried that I should’ve gone to a better school, should be practicing more, should be more focused on how to get a career in the industry. And six months ago, when I was faced with a big life decision, I asked God what my art was for. I wanted Him to give me a career path, a degree. But that’s not what He told me.

I was reading in the book of Lamentations that day, and it struck me that it was a book of poetry. It was gorgeously intricate and structured and beautiful, and it was art. It was art that wasn’t for anyone but God, not intended for anything but the act of offering up a prayer and a praise to Him. And God revealed to me in that moment that He didn’t give me art so that I could pursue a certain career path or degree; He gave me art so that I could give it back to Him. So that I could worship. This revelation filled me with a joy I haven’t often felt--one that brought my heart back to life and filled my mouth with praise. God spoke to me in that moment, asked me to give my art back to Him in worship, and then... I let the moment pass. I chose to ignore Him, again. I was still too afraid of losing it all, this little kingdom on earth I’d built.

A few weeks ago I was at church and the Lord impressed upon me, again, that it was time to give it up. I knew that God told me to give my art back to Him in worship, and I knew I had ignored Him, and I felt His Spirit imploring me strongly again to give it up. And still, I was afraid to walk away. I liked how it felt, receiving dozens of nice comments every day. I liked watching the numbers go up, watching my skills as an artist improve and gain recognition. I liked feeling like I made people laugh or smile or have a better day. I told myself that it was harmless, good even. (But, as it turns out, God has a reason for the things that He asks of us. As it turns out, God sees the whole picture while we live our lives grasping at a single piece of the puzzle. As it turns out, it is often the most mundane of things that can separate us from God.)

Recently, someone very close to me told me she’s been feeling distant from me for the past year, that I’ve shown so little interest in her life that it’s gotten to the point where she’s been anxious to even talk to me. This is something I admit with the heaviest heart. I’ve been so focused on building myself up that I’ve been neglecting the people God’s put in my life. I’ve been centering my life on something that’s not Him, and when I do that--no matter what it is that I’m centering my life on-- it hurts me and it hurts those who are around me. God has sent me a wake-up call and He is asking me to obey, and this time I am saying yes.

If you have ever enjoyed my account or anything I’ve had to say, this is the only thing I can tell you that has any real significance: God knows you and loves you and wants to have a relationship with you. I say this not because it’s what I’ve been taught, but because it’s my actual lived experience. I wouldn't be doing this if He hadn't asked me to, and if He hadn't proven to me that I can trust Him to take care of me through it.

Thank you so much to everyone who has been so kind to me. I’ve made so many friends through this experience and felt so inspired and happy and loved here. From the bottom of my heart, I’m so thankful for your endless kind and encouraging words. The last year and a half have by far been the hardest of my life but this community has brought me happiness through that. I know, though, that it’s time for me to give it up for now and focus on what God has for me. Thank you for reading and understanding.

So much love,

Anna

#i'll try to answer any questions/concerns in the comments #just know that my experience on here has been so absolutely lovely. I am so grateful #and if I ever feel led to start sharing my art again either here or in a different way I will let you all know #it's very hard to let go of this but it's also very much the right thing for me right now #thank you so so much for all of it #<333333333

[wangxianficrecs]

Follower Recs

Whoops.  Apparently I had not accidentally deleted these from the Asks, but rather, I’d put them all in a Draft and then lost them there.  Y’all forgive me.  And here, have so many fabulous follower and self-recs that I’m just gonna bump all these to the top of the queue and post a handful them each evening.  What a bonanza for us all!

~*~

welcome back!!! ✨✨✨  may I rec my own fic? [Always!] you might remember back in the summer I sent an ask about a wangxian canon-divergent fix-it I was writing..... it's done now, and fully uploaded! it's the first time I've written something that long and entirely completed it before starting to post, so it would mean a lot to me to see it posted here 💖 (I'm also the one who wrote the sizhui/jingyi 5+1, you, whose heart would sing of anarchy - [I loved that one and here’s my bookmark] ) ~ @wei--wuxian​

these colours fade for you only

by doodlebutt  (T, 36k,  wangxian)

Summary:  What if, before Wen Chao found Wei Wuxian in Yiling, Lan Wangji went looking for him?

What if...

"Tell me who did this to you." "Aiya, Lan Zhan, I really don't know what you're -- ah!" Lan Zhan tugged hard on the blue line that bound them together, and Wei Wuxian all but flew across the room, crashing into the bed with a pained groan and sinking to his knees on the floor. He supposed, slightly hysterically, that this must be something like what Jiang Cheng had felt when he had hit Wei Wuxian with all the force of a biting insect the day after his rescue. "You have no spiritual energy." "Haha, Lan Zhan, that's funny, because actually it's just that I --" "You have no golden core."

This diverges from MDZS canon rather than CQL (so no yin iron, etc)

~*~

2. I’m glad your break did you well! Also happy late birthday~ I hope you had a wonderful birthday! [Omg, this has been sitting in the inbox for A WHILE, I see, but thank you!]  I have a few recs I’ve been stocking up lol I don’t want to overwhelm you as soon as you get back so here’s just a few - 

i carry your heart with me

by lulu_kitty (G, 12k, wangxian) -  LWJ gets De-aged by curse

Summary:  “Wei-qianbei, I don’t understand. What sort of curse is this?” Lan Jingyi whispers shakily.

He moves aside to reveal a small figure huddled in his husband's robes. A young child, no older than five or six, looking around in both confusion and fear.

Wei Wuxian can’t breathe.

Because the little boy has a Lan clan ribbon dangling loosely around his neck.

"...Lan Zhan?"

Or, Lan Wangji is temporarily cursed back into his six year old self. Wei Wuxian and his family must reconcile with the unexpected feelings that it brings.

Stunted, Starving Juvenility

by TomatenMark (E, 187k, wangxian, WIP) -  WY realizes his feelings for LZ during Study arc

Summary:  At sixteen Wei Wuxian is - through some strange twist of fate, or a nick in the layer between parallel universes, who knows – out of the blue confronted with that one incense burner dream one night.

While his curious mind is left unable to stop poking at this new perspective on Lan Wangji, circumstances in the Cloud Recesses begin to change and Wei Wuxian is suddenly presented with life-altering opportunities.

Maybe Gusu isn’t so bad after all?

(Or alternatively: The fic where I get to give Wei Wuxian the academical scholarship he deserves while simultaneously getting him hitched early on.)

Falling to the Rhythm

by Selenay (E, 129k, wangxian) -  dancing with the stars au

Summary:  "So it's a bet?" Jiang Cheng said. "Dance the showcase if you get him, fancy coffee machine if you don't?"

Wei Wuxian considered the machine. "Fine. You're on. I want it in red."

"Don't start planning your caffeine overdose yet."

"It's in the bag," Wei Wuxian said cheerfully. "There's no way they'll match me with someone like Lan Wangji."

Teaching Lan Wangji to dance in front of the nation for twelve weeks, how hard can that be? Wei Wuxian is about to find out.

the roots in my heart (also grow in yours)

by halfdemonvash (M, 17k, wangxian) -  Modern Botanist au

Summary:  Wei Ying is just your local plant cryptid who may or may not have an illegal greenhouse. Lan Zhan is from a bougie family of botanists that Wei Ying wants nothing to do with.

Until he hears about a rare type of fern, that is.

Night of the Living History (an edutainment special!)

by Aerlalaith (T, 52k, wangxian) - modern w/magic museum au

Summary:  It doesn’t mean much coming from Jiang Cheng, Wei Ying thinks. He’s pretty sure Jiang Cheng has to be coaxed out of his hanfu by the laundry wranglers. He doesn’t even think he’s seen Jiang Cheng suffer a pair of jeans in three weeks. He thinks Jiang Cheng takes home the underclothes and sleeps in them, cuddling the knockoff Zidian like a teddy bear.

Wei Ying lands a job as the Yiling Patriarch at the Lanling Cultivation Museum. Lan Zhan (Hanguang-Jun 4x per week, Sect Leader Lan 2x per week) suffers accordingly.

~*~

I’m gonna stop here and give you some more tomorrow!

#wangxian fic rec #follower recs #wangxian #mdzs #the untamed #follower rec #I HAVEN'T READ THESE YET #author boost #new work by a proud writer

[idanit]

possibly underappreciated Good Omens fics I enjoyed once upon a time

Indirectly inspired by a video series about fanfiction I watched, I decided to pull together a list of Good Omens fics I have bookmarked as stories I enjoyed, but which have less than 250-300 kudos at the time I’m writing this. No particular order. They’re accompanied by short excerpts from my private fic reading notes (not originally intended to be read by anyone but me, mind), sometimes slightly edited for clarity—and, sometimes, the comments I left on the fics.

This list sat in my drafts for a long time and the recent S2 announcement reminded me of it. I’d love it if it inspired you to do something similar! Spread the love.

And mind the tags, please.

△ = general and teen ▲ = mature and explicit 

thermodynamic equilibrium ▲ 7K the author has such an ear for dialogue and is unapologetic about what they want to write the characters like. They think of the characters as a mix of TV and book canon, but they feel like a homemade blend to me. (...) It’s very funny.

such dear follies ▲ 6K I can really picture this Aziraphale—Crowley as well, but her especially. She’s rather distinct. (...) Nice writing.

The Words Were With - △ 1.2K post-Blitz vignette, Aziraphale realizes what he feels and wonders if they're human enough for this. I liked it, and I liked the tag "transhumanism, but in reverse?", too—what an interesting idea. I'd say it's a vignette in a dire need of a follow-up, but, well, there's the show. The show is the follow-up. It fits very nicely within the canon and I totally believe it could have happened, like a deleted scene.

Gossip and Good Counsel △ 19K/? I love their companionship and how they're set up to be opposites by the management even though they get on pretty well. It feels very in keeping with the canon, but I feel like the fact that it's an F/F set in this particular time period adds a meaningful layer to the situation. It's women supporting each other in the world of men, working with the personas that are created for them, but, privately, being normal, well-rounded people. (...) and of course your writing is always a pleasure to read. (...) SDHDGDHDHDG Maisie is truly an Aziraphale.

Crowley Went Down to Georgia (he was looking for a soul to steal) △ 6K This was nice. Based on a song I didn’t know. Crowley goes to a funeral in the USA, one of a fiddler he knew and lost a bet to once. (...) The fic has not one but two songs composed for it and embedded inside it and that makes it even better. I really enjoyed the experience.

The Thing With Feathers △ 18K WARLOCK you'rE HORRIBLE AND I LOVE IT I would read an entire novel-length fic just of Crowley fighting his battles with Warlock. Written like this? It would be a blast. (...) The OCs are believably characterized and well-loved by the story. (...) Everyone seems to need a friend in this house. (...) This was so fun, and at the same time, their mission has weight here (...) We wonder about what the future holds even though we know it.

Here Quiet Find △ 11K This fic aimed for my head and the aim was sure precise. It was a story of Crowley sensing Aziraphale's distress and finding him in a self-quarantined English village in the seventeenth century, tired and anxious. It's hurt/comfort, so there was washing and bedsharing and I had to love it, so I did.

outside of time △ 2K Post-Almostgeddon, (...) nicely-written, short, but strung with a soft kind of tension and unspoken words. There's no drama, just "can we really", and "do you really" of sudden freedom. They fall into being inseparable. Book canon, which I like for this story (sitting on a tarmac). I liked the footnotes. There's a mention of Eliot. All in all, very much yes.

She'asani Yisrael △ 2K It’s Crowley going through a two-hour service and drinking blessed wine. He also keeps an eye on a boy he was asked to. It’s 1946. It was pretty good, so far the best Jewish GO fic, I think, from the ones I’ve read.

To Guard The Eastern Gate △ 11K  I loved it. You really made Sodom feel lived-in; the description of Keret, Hurriya and Yassib's house and relationship were great. I got attached to both them and the city (...) Aziraphale and Crawley’s interactions were generally very entertaining. I laughed (...) Your rendering of their voices just lands so well (...) But then oh, the entire ending (...) hurt, hurt a lot, and your descriptions are so vivid.

If you’ve been waiting (for falling in love) △ 14K AAAAA a good ending line. The whole paragraph, in fact. I love a good smattering of philosophy in my fics, and this was really nice. I can get behind Thomas Aequinus's and Crowley's view on eternity. It's (...) a pretty simple fic (...) - the courage to express yourself and take a risk is awarded with winning what was at stake by the virtue of reciprocity - but the way it was intertwined with a study of how they would experience a forever was done well. 

Holy unnecessary ▲ 2.2K It's well-written. (...) this is my type of sexual humour if I have any. So subtle. Blink and you'll miss it. Lovely.

The Parting Glass △ 17K Through the ages, they're dancing around their relationship until after the Armageddoff. (...) Wow, this was really, really nice. Very simple in its concept and nothing I haven't read before, but very well-executed. (...) AAAAH I LOVED the first chapter. I always like abbeys as settings, that's a given, but the banter, the good writing, the moral ambiguity!

Name The Sky △ 33K This Crowley is different, but very intriguing. Without his sarcastic talk, and much more animalistic. (...) I love how expressive Crowley is. (...) This fic has a very nice balance of drama and levity. I don't love Crowley-before-the-Fall stories very much, but with this execution I can read about it. (...) Okay I've read Crowley offering fruits, and even Aziraphale biting fruits, but the two of them sharing the apple? Outstanding. Ingenious. What a take.

A Flame in Your Heart △ 5K post-Blitz (why are so many dance fics post-Blitz?), they go to the bookshop and have an actually believable conversation. Then they dance the gavotte. It was really nice! Believable writing, emotions, the dancing! (...) Of course it's too early for them, (...) but the author's note? yeah.

Put down the apple, Adam, and come away with me ▲ 32K At this point it's just reading original stories with characters with names and some personality traits that I recognize. (...) I really enjoy this, the careful dance, the opposition between their views. (...) This is well-written, wow. (...) it's not an easy read (...) this story feels very believably 50s, but also reaches out to the present time. 

Liebestraum ▲ 10K/? It really is like music. I'm enjoying the writing a lot. (...) oh my actual god. This, this? Wow, uh. This came for my throat. (...) THE MUSICAL COMPOSITION, THE MOTIF RETURNING, THE AUTHOR KNOWS WHERE IT'S AT (...) Excellent. This hits the right beats so precisely, (...) and with feeling, too.

Down Comforter △ 2.4K and they lay down in angeldown, a soft rug ‘neath their heads– alright. Well, Crowley lies under Aziraphale's wing on a Persian rug after the Apocalypse, and they talk (...). It was sweet.

The Corsair of Carcosa △ 5K Crowley wakes up from a nap, visits Aziraphale for some drinking, and they read The King in Yellow that he happens to own. Good writing, so I'm bought. Aziraphale mentions Beardsley, so I'm bought twice over. My god, a discussion of etheral/occult madness? Caused by some wrong/true reading? Yes.

Very Good, Omens! △ 6K It's rather well-written, well-pastiched. People don't do that too often, nowadays - try to write in the style of a particular writer. (...) I love wordplay like this.

Reviving Robin Hood: The Complicated Process of Crème Brûlée △ 30K it's well-written (...), has a rhythm to it, and quiet humour. (...) Finally some nice, good, light writing. The attention to detail! (...) I'm still reading most of it aloud, the rhythm of it compels me to. (...) okay this does sound like Pratchett&Gaiman, the Good Omens itself (...) The fic is meandering, hilarious, sensitive in all the right places, and overall lovely.

my dear acquaintance △ 1K Oh. Oh. Yes, yes! Aziraphale in Russia, Russia I've never been in, but I can feel the snow and the evening of. Very real, and the bar, too. Attention to detail - vodka flavoured with dill, what on earth? Yes. He would totally have a distinct taste in operas and he would totally complain about a subpar one. I'm glad Tchaikovsky's there.

there is a crack in everything △ 1.8K This was good! Ah. Inspired by a comment (...), I went looking for Mr. Harrison and Mr. Cortese fics—really, what a big brain moment someone had and why have I never thought to look for them? This is Crowley getting suddenly anxious and Aziraphale going out of his way, through all his layers of not-thinking and denial, to console him. I also really liked how the Arrangement is a carefully unacknowledged partnership-marriage.

Scales And Gold And Wings And Scars △ 6K  No conflict, no plot, one tiny arc like a ripple on the surface of water on a calm sunny day - of Aziraphale discovering Crowley’s scars. It's the South Downs and it's early summer. They bask and swim in a spring. Non-sexual nudity, love in the air like a scent. Nice.

Nineteen Footnotes In Search Of A Story △ 0.4K This is a Good Omens story told only through footnotes. Your mind can fill in the gaps. Fascinating (...). Also, it’s an experiment so apt for this particular fandom.

Hell on Earth △ 6.5K Oh, I loved it! How could I not love it: it's Beelzebub-centric, it's historical, it has classical painting, and even a hilarious scene with a cuneiform phrase, as if I didn't enjoy this story enough already. There are so few Beelzebub fics out there and I find searching for them very difficult (I accept recs if anyone has any), and it's such a shame, so this was really like a gift to the fandom. I absolutely adore the way you portrayed them, small, frightening, powerful, and confident. Also, it was super fun to see how different Crowley seems when we're not in his POV or in a story about him and Aziraphale. (...)

Go Up to Ramoth-Gilead and Triumph △ 24K Daegaer is... pure class. (...) hdhdhdh what pfttt why you so funny (...) I love this Crowley. (...) This got unexpectedly intense. (...) I love the little nods to the fact that Israelites, especially the poorer ones, still believe in other gods. I also really like that they sleep on roofs. It's just the kind of detail that grounds the story and shows that the author is, in fact, a historian. 

#good omens #good omens fic rec #fanfiction #fic rec #idanit reads #i also have a multifannish F/F rec list in the works #all my bookmarks are private but i feel the need to share the love

[fangqueen]

Fic Rec Tag Meme

@sitp-recs, I’m terribly late, but this looked way too fun, so I had to join in. Fair warning, y’all, not everything here is Drarry, or even HP (I am a prolific rarepair shipper/multi-fandomer, and Dron is my OTP 😂), so I’ve added the fandoms and pairings below as well. All of these (and many more!) can also be found on my ficshelf! It was so hard to pick these as it was, I couldn’t help but point you in the right direction for all the ones I (sadly, unfortunately) had to cut from the list, lol.

Anyway, thank you so much for running this tag meme, @sitp-recs! It’s been amazing seeing everyone’s recs and discovering new fics! 🖤

• A fic you love without knowing the source material: He Was a Punk, Pete Did Tabletop Roleplay by @mscaptainwinchester Marvel | Peter/Wade | NC-17 | 7.5k

• A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work but it does: Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost by @theoldaquarian Good Omens | Hints of Aziraphale/Crowley | G | 3k All fics are valid and work!! That being said, I had no idea just how much I was going to fall in love with a fic about Crowley being an AirBnB host when I first opened it. 😂

• A fic you’ve reread several times: Department of Magical Creatures Case 62637 by @mscaptainwinchester (under RonsPigwidgeon at the time) HP | Draco/various, Ron/OMC, Ron/Draco | R | 121k How could I expected to only pick ONE?! 😂 I’ve reread everything you’re seeing here - I’ve reread nearly every fic I’ve ever recced at least once. But I couldn’t make a favorites list without this fic, so might as well put it here, haha!

• A fic you still remember many years later: Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble by Sushi HP | Severus/Severus | NC-17 | 8.9k I remembered it so well (and fondly) that after 12+ years, I went scouring the Wayback Machine to find it. And yes, the pairing is correct. Don’t look at me. If you’re still interested in reading after knowing that, hit me up, ‘cause it takes a bit of instruction to find it now.

• A comfort fic: You and I by @shiftylinguini HP | Scorpius/Albus S. | NC-17 | 32k

• A cathartic fic: The Conformity Conspiracy by shrink South Park | Michael/Pete (or Ethan/Dylan, as this was written before they had names in canon) | R | 71k I really struggled with this entry. I came to the realization that...I don’t know if I’ve ever actually felt catharsis from a piece of media before??? Well, I have with music, for sure, but not really with anything else. Anyway, I chose this fic for this slot because every time I read it, I’m transported back to being a goth teen. I can feel every word, every action, like I’m going through those years again with them...Which isn’t necessarily what cathartic means, but fuck it, it works for me, haha. ***As always whenever I rec this fic, I do just have to warn that it’s not properly tagged on AO3, and there is definitely some potentially triggering content in it. If you’re interested in reading and would like to know more (so you can be better prepared), feel free to DM me!***

• A fic you’d print and put on your bookshelf: In Flight, Two Boys by lobst_r HP | Marcus/Oliver | NC-17 | 29K Again, how I could possibly pick only one for this one?! I would print out ALL of these fics if I could, and many more! But this is such a beautiful fic, it definitely deserves a spot on the list, and what better spot for it than this? There’s actually a sequel currently posting as well! I haven’t gotten around to reading it yet, but I’m sure it’s just as amazing, if not more so.

• A fic you associate with a song: You Do Your Body Work, I Feel My Pulse Working Overtime by @veelawings HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 1.6k I mean, it’s in the title. 😜 But also this is just a truly inspiring fic that I absolutely had to include! (I realized I somehow haven’t queued a rec post for it yet, and I will make sure to fix that soon!)

• A fic that inspires you: dirtynumbangelboy by @magpiefngrl HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 39k

• A fic that brought you onboard a new ship: Lumos by birdsofshore HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 41k Some people may be surprised to know that Drarry was, uh.......once my NOTP. Yes, really. 😂 You wouldn’t suspect that nowadays, would you??? LOL. It’s all because of this wonderful, beautiful fic. I saw it getting recced everywhere at the time and said fuck it, I’ll give the pairing another try - and I never looked back!

• A fic you wish could be a movie: Midnight in the City of a Hundred Spires by @shiftylinguini HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 25k

• A fic that led to you making friends with the author: A Weasel in the Hamptons by @peachpety HP | Ron/Draco | NC-17 | 15k I don’t quite know if this counts, because I believe we’d already been speaking before this??? 😂 But of course, being that I’m the mod for Ron/Draco Fest, I knew who was writing for this prompt of mine, and thus we dispensed with the formalities in private, haha! It was a great experience, and I was so overjoyed to see the results in the end. So happy to have met you, love! 😘 Hope you’re well!

• Free Space: The Pizzaria: A Sordid Tale of Destiny, Evil and Garlic by Mad_Maudlin HP | Ron/Draco | PG-13 | 36k A Dron/crack!fic staple, honestly, and I just couldn’t make a favorites list without it!

• A fic you’ve gushed about irl: Runway by @candawrites HP | Ron/Draco | R | 15k

• A fic you associate with a place: Archipelago by Mad_Maudlin HP | Ron/Draco | NC-17 | 18k I just have a very distinct visual memory of reading this fic for the first time: sitting on the couch in my mom’s living room, the sun setting outside. (I was visiting for her bday, I believe???)  I think of that moment every time I see the title.

• A fic that made you gasp out loud: clutched your life and wished it kept by @glitteringvoids HP | Ron/Draco | R | 110K

• A fic you found at the right time: Howlr by @partialtopotter HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 47k I got really sick in summer 2018. I know I’ve talked about it on here a million times at this point, so I won’t dwell. But I ended up finding and reading this fic the following March, and it reawakened my love of fic and fandom that had been lost over the previous months while I was dealing with everything. I hadn’t been reading or writing at all in all that time, and I ended up reading this whole thing in one sitting. I couldn’t put it down! It just made me feel so good, after a long time of not feeling anywhere near good.

• A fic that you would read fic of: In the Garden After Dark by @the-starryknight HP | Draco/Harry | R | 3.5k I just need more of this universe and Draco’s Illusion magic. 😍

• A fic that made you laugh out loud: Why Parvati Patil Must Die by hull1984 HP | Ron/Draco | PG-13 | 39k

• A fic with a line (or two) that you’ve memorized by heart: Hail to the King by Mad_Maudlin HP | Ron/Zacharias, Ron/Zacharias/Draco | NC-17 | 5k

• A fic that gave you butterflies: The Electric Fizzing Prick Pistols, or Whatever by whitmans_kiss HP | Sirius/Remus | PG-13 | 3.8k

• A fic that embodies something that you value in life: Luna Lovegood: Wank Coach for the Long-Since Deceased by yrfrndfrnkly HP | gen | PG-13 | 9.8k This was another difficult category to choose for. Not that I don’t think any fics I’ve read display good values! Of course they do! But I have this weird issue where I don’t, like...project? at all??? So sometimes it’s hard for me to recognize these things in what I read. But eventually I realized it had to be this fic, because I just love the carefree way Luna lives her life here, her job helping people (well, ghosts who could use some sexual release, specifically, but you know), and the wonderful friends she surrounds herself with.

• A favorite AU: Quibbler Unsolved by Leontina HP | Draco/Harry | PG-13 | 17k More of a fusion than an AU, but it’s just fantastic!

• A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading: Grounds for Divorce by @tepre HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 122k

• A fic that made you feel seen: Taste the Rainbow by @maraudersaffair HP | Ginny/Pansy | PG-13 | 639

#fic rec tag meme #fangqueen recs fics #fangqueen speaks

[bottomlouisficfest]

We hope you’ve enjoyed the eighth week of fics from the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Every weekend, we’re compiling all of the fics from that week into one roundup post so they’re easy to find for anyone looking to catch up on fics they missed. Enjoy these amazing fics and give them the love they deserve!

Floating

A fic by littleLouve on AO3 | @larents on Tumblr | louvees on Twitter

10k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

The one where Louis has control over water in every form but he doesn't know what to do with it. Harry is here to guide him.

don't want no other shade of blue

A fic by padfootyoudog on AO3 | @louisisworthit on Tumblr

43k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

“I know you’re putting on an act,�� says Harry after a moment, and Louis scowls when he realises the prince is actually amused.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” says Louis.

“All I’ve heard over the past couple of years are rumours of Prince Louis’ kindness, and generosity, and oh, he’s so handsome I can barely pour his tea without shaking!” says Harry, putting on a silly, high-pitched voice for the last bit. Louis’ scowl deepens. “I would already know if you were just another selfish, bratty omega prince. You can’t fool me, darling, but I admire your efforts.”

“As you said,” Louis grits out, “those are only rumours. I assure you, I’m a terrible person.”

—

prompt 339: it was foretold that Alpha Prince Harry would be mated to a beautiful male omega with eyes that could rival the stone amethyst, but Omega Prince Louis refuses to believe it.

Loving You's the Antidote

A fic by neverheartbroken on AO3 | @neverheartbroken on Tumblr

5k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Prompt 302: Alpha Harry & Omega Louis are divorced but still spend each other’s heat/rut together because they only really trust each other but things get complicated when Louis (or Harry, author’s choice) spend it with someone else. Cue angst with a happy ending. (Prompt Inspiration: Prompt 98 from the 2019 BLFF)

dirty laundry looks good on you

A fic by tomlinvelvet on AO3 | @tomlinvelvetfics on Tumblr

50k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

When Louis Tomlinson finds his clothes lying in a sad soapy mess on top of the washing machine in which they are supposed to be, he acts upon his anger and retaliates. What he doesn’t expect is having to deal with a six-feet tall, curly-haired and dimpled man in return, who seems to arouse confusing feelings within him and to make his life take an unexpected turn for the better (or worse?).

OR; the utility room is a great place to fall in love.

no good unless it's real

A fic by fackinglouis on AO3 | @fackinglouis on Tumblr

17k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

“Here,” Harry says, pulling a strap off his shoulder so he can dig his phone out of his bag. “We can get each other’s numbers.”

 Louis shakes his head. “I have the practice’s number already,” he tells him. “And my number is definitely on file somewhere.”

Harry pauses, smile quirking a bit as he stares at Louis. The sun is still in his eyes, though, with his sunglasses pushed up onto his head still, so Louis credits his funny face to that.

“I’m trying to give you my number, Louis,” Harry explains around a breathy laugh.

“Oh,” Louis blinks, processing that. He scratches his temple, moves a piece of longer fringe back behind his ear, and then nods. “Okay.”

Or: Louis is a very busy farmer who’s just trying to make it to his next nap and Harry’s the new hot vet that’s determined to infiltrate every area of his life.

Since the Future

A fic by bluestarwitch on AO3 | @loustarlight on Tumblr | IwtstarIight on Twitter

44k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

"It's done."

The words were barely above a whisper when they left Harry's mouth, but they hit Louis with the force of a freight train. It was done. Holy fuck. They had created a time machine. And tomorrow, they were travelling to the future.

To Love without Reason

A fic by MuggleMirror on AO3 | @mugglemirror on Tumblr | mugglemirror on Twitter

8k | Not Rated | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

“Come on in, soldier,” Louis pats Harry’s chest and walks away, leaving Harry to follow behind.

Harry stands in the living room, looking around at Louis’ dwelling. Family pictures placed high on a shelf, certificates of Louis’ practice, and other trinkets that make Harry entirely too nostalgic.

“I have to warn you,” Louis says as he puts the kettle on, the water droplets from his hair trickling down the golden skin of his back. “The door jams if you lock it so you'll have to leave it ajar.”

Harry acknowledges with a soft hum, too entranced by Louis’ glistening skin to form a coherent reply.

Sedative Duty.

A fic by daddyharrie on AO3 | @daddyharrie on Tumblr | daddyharrie on Twitter

46k | Explicit | Louis/Harry | Tumblr post | Twitter post

Pop-star of the moment Louis Tomlinson is on his third-world tour. He decides to hire renowned professional dominant Harry Styles to unwind while on the road. In an effort not to raise suspicion by the crew, fans, and press,  Harry pretends to be his bodyguard. He ends up being far more than that.

–

View the other roundup posts here:

Week #1 Fic Roundup

Week #2 Fic Roundup

Week #3 Fic Roundup

Week #4 Fic Roundup

Week #5 Fic Roundup

Week #6 Fic Roundup

Week #7 Fic Roundup

#fics 2020

[randomficsandshit]

Bellarke Fic Rec

*NONE OF THESE FICS ARE MINE*

Please do not forget. I have not written any of these. I’m simply recommending favorites of mine over the years. If you love something, send the author your love, not me :) and if any links don’t work, send me a message and I’ll see what i can do, this is a pretty old list 

There's A Nap For That 

Word Count: 6k+

AU. Based on that post: "If you both agree to take a nap instead of going out, it’s a date." Or: The one where Bellamy and Clarke keep taking naps together. You know, platonically. See also: Let Them Rest.

If You Wear A Dress and Have an Animal Sidekick, You Are a Princess

Word Count: 3k+

AU. Bellamy can't not take care of every animal he sees, and Clarke can't not find it endearing.

*Mouth Like Heaven, Kisses Like Stars

Word Count: 4k+

His eyebrows are knitted together in a slight frown, the kind he usually gets when he’s trying to work out a difficult problem. Finally, he meets her eyes again and says, almost hesitantly underneath his mask of bravado, “Well, I’m always here to lend a helping hand if you need it, princess.” Clarke actually chokes this time, and it feels like all the breath has been knocked out of her. -or, the time when everything goes downhill and bellamy just goes down.

Wingwoman 

Word Count: 1k+

AU. Clarke didn't think she'd need a wingwoman at the park playground when she's babysitting her one-year-old niece, but then Bellamy Blake strolls up, and Amelia rises to the occasion, luckily for her.

When Love Hits (Better Make It Worth The Fall)

Word Count: 4k+

AU. (She's All That) Four times Clarke gets hit on the head (+1 time she doesn't) during her last semester of high school, and every single time, Bellamy Blake is somehow involved.

All This Time

Word Count: 5k+

AU. Four times Bellamy innocently kisses Clarke, + one time he doesn't.

Take This Heart

Word Count: ~

clarke moves into bellamy's room. this is both soft and full of disdain for clarke's terrible... everything in season 3

You're Cool On The Internet, At Least

Word Count: 9k+

AU. Look, Clarke will not dwell on this. She will not get flustered just because a possibly cute guy on Facebook apparently shares her views on what constitutes a terrible person.

(Or: Clarke meets Bellamy on Facebook. They hit it off.)

(One of my personal favs)

We Came Out On Top

Word Count: 11k+

AU. “How can you guys be all like this and then be at each other’s throats during trivia night?” “Because it’s trivia night,” both Bellamy and Clarke said at the same time, sharing the same why don’t you get it tone. Bellamy, Clarke, and the trivia night rivalries only they care about.

She Does What The Night Does To The Day

Word Count: 5k+

AU. He assumes she would just giggle and continue petting him while saying how pretty he is, but instead, she pulls back with what might have been a leer had she not been three sheets to the wind, and says, “Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.” And then if that wasn’t bad enough, she stumbles out of his arms and fucking winks at him. Or at least he thinks it’s a wink. She used both eyes instead of one. or, the one where Bellamy is woefully and terribly oblivious.

The Giant Squid's Got Nothing On You

Word Count: 6k+

AU. Objectively, Clarke knows she’s probably right, but she still can’t help but lift her chin determinedly and say, “He is not going to find it.” She can barely hear her scoff in reply over the din of the cafe. “Yeah right,” says Raven, “The internet is forever, Clarke Griffin. He will find it eventually.” or, Clarke finds her new muse at the local cafe

Alone Together 

Word Count: 11k+

AU. Clarke shows up at Bellamy’s apartment at exactly two minutes to midnight on a Thursday. He's not sure how she ends up staying the night — or why he doesn't turn her away, when it happens again. And again.

Cold As The Wind Blows (so hold me in your arms)

Word Count: 3k+

AU. Clarke gets trapped in the storage room overnight, but at least she's not by herself.

Tequila Regrets

Word Count: 6k+

AU. Clarke and Bellamy have been roommates for a while, and Clarke has been in love with him for almost as long, but when she finds out that his terror of a boss has marked him as her next conquest, Clarke offers to pose as his fake girlfriend for the staff Christmas party to scare her off. She did not think this all the way through.

Mutual

Word Count: 6k+

AU. As acts of rebellion go, Clarke knows that getting a tumblr is both minor and pathetic. But it's her secret, her own tiny, online space where no one knows she's Clarke Griffin, Hollywood A-lister. She's just some nobody with like five followers and opinions no one cares about. And then she makes a friend.

Wish On Everything

Word Count: 11k+

AU. It's not as if Bellamy wanted anything bad to happen to his mother. All he wanted was to get custody of his little sister, so he'd know she was taken care of. And after eight years, he's basically given up all hope of that. Then his mother does die, and social services tells him he gets Octavia.

Legs Crossed Towards Each Other 

Word Count: 7k+

It starts with Raven wanting to set up Mr. Sinclair, out of what are probably genuinely good intentions. It's everyone else who turns it into a massive headache for Bellamy.

What The Hell Is The Catch? 

Word Count: 6k+

Bellamy gets tickets to take his AP US History kids to Hamilton, and Clarke figures he's going to need a chaperone. She's happy to help out. And if he says she owes him for it? Totally worth it.

If You Wanna Reach Me

Word Count: 5k+

AU. Clarke: So yeah, in the dream it's like We're in New York, I think. I'm not really sure, but you know how it is when it's a dream and you just know something. So we're in New York.

Jasper: whos we??????

Clarke: Most of us, I think? It's always kind of hard to remember when it's a dream. Like I just thought "everyone's here!" but I mostly interacted with Bellamy.

Raven: did u mean: real life

Time Enough For Rocking When We're Old

Word Count: 14k+

boston > boston/camb/brook > housing > apts by owner $2-300 Roxbury small room in 3-br 1-bath house, spouse preferred (Roxbury) Pair of siblings looking for housemate. Due to extenuating circumstances I will share with interested parties, I would prefer a roommate who is willing to get married for legitimate personal reasons that do not include sex or anything sketchy. If not interested in marriage, room still available for $300/month plus utilities. Pets okay, no smokers, NO DRUG USE. Please don't just email me to tell me this is fucked up, I know it is, you really don't have to tell me. If you are interested in the marriage part, a female spouse is preferred, but male would be okay too. I promise I will explain this if you really want details, but I'm not putting it online. Serious inquiries only.

Must Love Intersectionality 

Word Count: 2k+

AU. Bellamy hates his stupid history of colonialism class, until he makes a friend. Weirdly, the friend isn't actually in his class, they just share the same desk and like to write angry notes about the patriarchy. Bellamy's a fan.

Regardless Of Warnings, The Future Doesn't Scare Me At All

Word Count: 20k+

AU. 2 Chapters. After an argument with her mother about her unplanned pregnancy, Clarke Griffin ends up back in the small town where her father used to live, spilling her sob story to a sympathetic bartender. And then, somehow, she ends up moving in with the bartender and her brother.

(You Might Find) You Get What You Need

Word Count: 20k+

AU. Clarke needs a date to her ex's sister's wedding, and she's at the point of hiring someone off the internet when Octavia points out that her brother is always looking for money. So Clarke takes him instead.

Just As You Are 

Word Count: 10k+

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Clarke Griffin in need of a Latin tutorial partner will always end up paired with Bellamy Blake.

I've Been Dreaming Of You From The Other Side (I Know You So Well)

Word Count: 17k+

AU. Ten years ago, Clarke found out she had superpowers. Now she's all ready to start a new life: English teacher by day, vigilante by night. All she has to do is figure out how to be a superhero, avoid getting caught and shipped off by mandatory metahuman registration, and not strangle the stupid history teacher down the hall. It'll be fun.

She's Touching His Chest Now, He Takes Off Her Dress Now

Word Count: 26k+

If Clarke had thought arguments could actually lead to switching bodies with someone, she wouldn't have been surprised this one really did. But since that's actually impossible, waking up as Bellamy Blake is still a shock.

I Know That Fortune Is Waiting To Be Kind

Word Count: 20k+

When Bellamy is eleven, his mother dies, and he finds out his father was a prince, which makes him a prince too, albeit a bastard prince. And when he's twelve, his family decides he would be a good candidate for marriage to Princess Clarke of Arcadia. Princess Clarke thinks so too, but only because he agrees to come back in ten years and help her make sure the wedding never takes place. It seems like a really good deal, when he's twelve.

And Dream How Wonderful Your Life Will Be

Word Count: 19k+

Clarke has known Bellamy Blake for two months when she finds out two completely unexpected things about him: he's married, and he has an eight-year-old son. He's also getting a divorce and he needs a roommate, and she's got a spot. It's complicated.

One Deep Breath and One Big Step

Word Count: 17k+

Clarke Griffin has been groomed for Ark University and Sigma Kappa Upsilon sorority since she was a kid, and she's a little annoyed to discover, upon getting to college, that she really does like Sig-Kap. That she wants to pledge. There's just this weird thing where they don't seem to like her new friend Bellamy.

Write What You Know

Word Count: 13k+

Bellamy understands every individual choice that got him to this point. He started writing erotica to make some extra money, he didn't correct the assumption that he was a woman, made up some facts about his new persona, and now his publisher wants him to start making public appearances, so he needs someone to be that persona. And Clarke really is the logical choice. It all makes sense to him, when he thinks about it, but he will admit it is incredibly weird. Luckily, Clarke's still got his back.

When Can I See You Again? 

Word Count: 13k+

Bellamy doesn't recognize a lot of people he meets at conventions, even if he's met them a lot. It's just hard to keep track. But the girl who comes once or twice a year is pretty easy to remember. And that's before her foster mom shows up in a panic because she took a bus to Vegas alone. After that happens, it's basically all over.

But They Ain't Doing It Right

Word Count: 14k+

“So,” he begins, running a hand through his hair. It’s a lost cause trying to work it back into some semblance of order. “What is this?” “What do you mean?” He doesn’t meet her eye when he says, “Once is a mistake, twice is a pattern,” too busy picking at a loose thread in his hem. “Wanna go three times and just make it a habit?” she jokes weakly, and his head snaps back up, eyes boring into hers. She flushes under the intensity of his gaze. “Actually,” he begins slowly, “That doesn’t sound that bad.” or, the friends with benefits au that got away from me

Phone A Friend

Word Count: 7k+

Clarke does not ask Bellamy for tips on having a threesome because she's hoping to have a threesome with him. He's just the only person she knows personally who has actually had a threesome, so he seems like her best resource. And when the opportunity to have a threesome with him presents itself, it's not like she's going to just say no.

I'm Swept Away and My Heart Ensnared 

Word Count: 15k+

Raven hums low in her throat. “Well, at least Bellamy can make it up in time. So you won’t get too axe murdered.” Clarke wrinkles her nose, leaning on the banister of the upstairs porch. From here she can see the ocean, just a five minute walk away, and she breathes in brine soaked air. “He’s still coming?” “What do you mean if he’s still coming? He didn’t say anything otherwise.” She shifts from foot to foot, feeling herself colour slightly even though there’s no one there to see her. “I just assumed that because you and Miller couldn’t make it up anymore he wouldn’t come today.” “Why the hell did you think that?” “Because Bellamy and I aren’t exactly friends, Raven." or, Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin don't really like each other. Or at least that's what they tell themselves.

Afraid To Call This Place Our Own 

Word Count: 22k+ 

(Single mom!Clarke and Teacher!Bellamy, with the usual angsty shenanigans.)

And Are We There Yet (Home) 

Word Count: 2k+

A Bellamy POV and mini sequel to afraid to call this place our own. (this shit made me cry) 

Bloodstains and Innocence: A Clarke Griffin Mystery

Word Count: 27k+

Police Chief Clarke Griffin knows three things: 1) Charles Pike is dead. 2) Octavia Blake is the prime suspect. 3) Bellamy Blake a giant pain in the ass with no business being involved in a murder investigation, and yet here he is, working the case alongside her. A hurricane is approaching the sleepy little island of Arkadia, NC as evidence begins to mount against Octavia and Clarke wrestles with her increasingly complicated relationship with Bellamy, all while trying to answer one simple question: Who killed Charles Pike?

Is There An IUD That Can Stop The Image of You and Me? 

Word Count: 8k+

It's probably impossible to be friends with benefits with someone who might not even count as a friend, but "lab partners with benefits" isn't a thing yet. So that's probably the right term. Whatever it is, Clarke's enjoying it. As long as she ignores the whole feelings thing.

I’m Gonna Leave You Anyway

Word Count: 65k+

Modern AU inspired by the show You're the Worst, where Bellamy and Clarke hook up after a wedding.

                  And You Can Have This Heart To Break

Word Count: 37k+

Clarke knows she's being a little over-dramatic in her complaining about having to move to Maine, but it does seem pretty unreasonable of her mother to drag her to a small town in the middle of nowhere for the three months between high-school graduation and her starting college. As it turns out, the summer is great. It's just the summer ending that's the problem.

Museums and Mistletoe 

Word Count: 1k+

Clarke buys Bellamy a museum ticket for Christmas and he acts like it’s the best gift he’s ever received. She buys one for herself too, because she knows none of their other friends have the time to go—finding a day they can all get together to exchange gifts is hard enough—and if it gets her an uninterrupted afternoon with her best friend and all around favorite asshole, she’s definitely not complaining.

When In Brome

Word Count: 57k+

Octavia is the one who tells Clarke about "Untitled Gladiator Project," because she thinks Bellamy wants to be on it, and also thinks Clarke is the one who will be able to convince him to do it. Plus, it turns out Clarke actually needs to be involved, because all of the gladiators are required to have girlfriends with them, and, honestly, the more she hears about it, the more of a mess it seems like. On the other hand, it sounds kind of hilarious, and definitely right up Bellamy's alley, so there's probably no harm in trying out. It might be fun.

It’s All Internet Interaction

Word Count: 11k+

Bellamy is less than pleased when soap opera star Clarke Griffin lands the lead role in the Callister reboot. So, naturally, he writes about it. It’s not supposed to blow up. She’s not supposed to respond to it either, but here they are.

Just Dive Right In (And Follow My Lead)

Word Count: 24k+

Clarke Griffin needs a partner. Bellamy Blake just happens to walk into her rink. (Or: Bellamy and Clarke as ice dancing partners, training together through the years to the Olympics.)

Sleight Of Hand

Word Count: 56k+

Notorious criminal prodigy Bellamy Blake has been tasked with a seemingly impossible heist. Luckily enough, he just might have the right crew for it. *Personal Favorite*

And Then We Were Chasing Comets

Word Count: 21k+

If you told Clarke Griffin that she would become best friends with the resident black sheep of Arkadia, she would have difficulty believing it, let alone the fact that he apparently wrote an entire book about her. (Or: Clarke and Bellamy through the years, as childhood best friends.)

See Me In Hindsight 

Word Count: 16k+

“You’re kind of a mess,” He says mildly. “Thanks captain obvious.” The corners of his mouth twitch a little, like he’s holding back a smile. She is not remotely pleased by that. Not at all. Or, the one where they're project partners and maybe, perhaps, friends. (And maybe, perhaps, more.)

Challenge Accepted

Word Count: 30k+

He doesn't even like Clarke Griffin, he's pretty sure he hates how easy everything has come to her. So imagine his surprise when he finds himself at their office party looking through dick pics on her phone. “You can do better, Princess. In fact, I can do better.” As soon as she turns to him with raised eyebrows and an open mouthed grin he knows he’s said too much but she’s not going to let it drop. “Oh really, you think you can do better, Blake?” And he's never backed down from a challenge in his life.

Found Myself In A Second 

Word Count: 5k+

The one where Clarke finds a lost wallet belonging to one Bellamy Blake.

Every Rose Can Sting You 

Word Count: 15k+

Clarke expected to encounter annoying guys when she got forced into becoming the Bachelorette, but she didn't realise that the most annoying of them all would be the head cameraman. Because seriously, Bellamy Blake is a total prick. It's a good thing there's absolutely no chance of her ever actually liking him, because boy, would that be inconvenient…

Choking On Your Alibis 

Word Count: 7k+

Bellamy gets a girlfriend and Clarke handles it spectacularly well

#bellarke #the 100 #fic rec #fic rec masterlist #bellarke masterlist #bellamy x clarke #beliza #the 100 fic #multi chap fic #one shot #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #raven reyes #octavia blake #eliza taylor #bob morley #the cw #fanfiction #bellarke fanfiction

[stargazing-dreamer-girl]

Royalty

Fandom: The Irregulars

Pairing: Billy x female!OC, Leopold x Bea, unrequited Leopold x female!OC

WC: 17k (You can also find it on ao3 here)

Summary: Mary-Belle has always been like family to Leopold. The only one who stuck by his side and rather stayed inside with him than to go outside. That was, until he decided to leave the palace for an adventure and found new friends there, a new family. But, of course, Mary-Belle was still worrying about her friend, the one she had been in love with for years. She watched as he fell in love with Beatrice and still tried to keep him out of trouble, getting pulled into it herself by doing so. With the end of the world near she tries her best.

A/N: This has taken me so long to write and it's the longest one-shot I've ever written. I put a lot of work into this and I hope you guys like it as it is my little baby xD I also posted this on ao3 and linked it above since reading longer stuff on tumblr can be a pain. So, Enjoy!

Whenever she moved through the castle, Mary-Belle carried herself with grace. Her back straight, her head held high, so as to proclaim her status without uttering a single word. Nobody stopped her on her way to Prince Leopold’s room. Somebody knocked on the door for her when she came to a stop in front of it. It was opened right away for her to enter. She gave the servant a small nod in thanks. They knew not to enter after her, so as soon as she was in the room the door was closed behind her.

“You’re back,” she spoke the obvious. Leopold was standing in front of the mirror that looked just as expensive as anything else in the room. He met her gaze through the reflection. She had moved to the middle of the room, hands on her hips and eyes glued to him. He let out a sigh and gave up on arranging his clothes before turning around, feeling the whole weight of her disapproving stare. “You can’t keep disappearing on me. I don’t care if you run away from your family, but not me. You tell me where you go. I worry too, you know. We don’t keep secrets from each other.” She had stepped closer, her hands on his coat, adjusting it to sit right with harsh movements.

“I know, Mary. I’m sorry.” Her touches got softer adjusting his collar before she took a step back when he looked presentable. “But you don’t have to worry. They probably hate me for leaving again and there’s no way I can go back with the soiree taking place tonight.”

She went to sit on the sofa by the foot of his bed, patting the spot next to her, so that he would sit down as well. “Tell me what happened since the last time we saw each other.” So, he sat next to her and told her about the woman who had stolen people’s teeth and tried to assassinate the duke of Winchester and about the mansion they were trapped in and the tarot cards. “If you were anyone else, I would not believe these stories at all,” she laughed softly. Stories about magic certainly were quite unbelievable. On the other hand, the danger Leopold seemed to be putting himself in was very real and believable. “Is there anything else?” She knew that there was. Having known him since childhood she had learned how to read him like an open book. All his mannerism and quirks, she knew about.

“I kissed Bea.” She ignored the way her way heart seemed to constrict at the statement. The way he smiled and the gleam in his eyes let her know everything she needed. The girl, who she had hoped would just be of short interest to him, had made its way into his heart and taken it over. There was no way now for her to find her place there. So instead, she smiled and placed her hand on his arm reassuringly. “But right after, I left. I heard the bells and was about to be late for the weekly breakfast with my mother. I did miss it actually and now Daimler is onto me. He’s the one who talked to my mother, so that I would be allowed to go to Louise’ birthday soiree. All that so he can keep an eye on me.”

“You are helpless, Leo,” announced Mary-Belle. “You cannot kiss a girl and then just leave. Imagine how she must feel.” His gaze moved to the floor. His thoughts had been about how he would make it back in time and not how Bea would be feeling in this moment. He wanted to hit his head for his ignorance. “But there is nothing you can do about it now. Let’s just enjoy the soiree. You might actually like it.” She stood and walked towards the door, not waiting for Leopold. He would need another moment to gather his thoughts before he would attend, so she made her way down to the room by herself where everyone already appeared to be having a good time. There were couples dancing and people talking. A lively atmosphere filled the room. A servant offered her a glass. She lifted it off the tray, her gloved fingers gently holding on to it. The sweetly bitter taste filled her mouth when she took a sip. It took some getting used to before she actually enjoyed the drink.

Rather quickly she was able to find Louise between all these people and made her way over to the girl to wish her a happy birthday and talk to her. “Have you seen Leopold’s entrance? He is already rather popular,” noticed Louise, gesturing towards the dance floor where Leopold held a blonde girl close while they swayed to the music. Mary-Belle hadn’t even realized he was present. “Although he does appear to be a rather inept dancer. I thought the two of you had practiced.”

“Ever since we were little, yes,” confirmed Mary-Belle, “his thoughts are elsewhere tonight which seems to be translating into his dancing. He is quite competent at other times.” The two girls watched as Leopold once again stepped on his dancing partner’s feet, but fortunately the song came to a close and they moved off the dance floor. He apparently didn’t lose his appeal to the girl either since she led him over to a group of people and introduced him. “He seems to be doing well enough for himself,” she pointed out.

Louise agreed before her attention was taken up by another person. “Oh, I almost forgot, there was someone I wanted to introduce you to.” She grabbed Mary’s hand and pulled her along past the group Leopold was sitting with, coming to a stop in front of two men. They were quite handsome but didn’t seem to have much to offer other than that. They appeared to have grown up with the idea that having good looks made a personality unnecessary. She entertained them for a little while for Louise’ sake before she wandered off on her own.

She noticed Leopold leaving the room with the girl he had been dancing with. She considered following them but decided against it and let herself get distracted by her surroundings. Louise got ahold of her again, pulling her to another couple of girls whose behavior was already influenced by the alcohol. They were laughing loudly, holding each other up while they filled Louise and Mary-Belle in about Eleanor Margot, the girl Leopold had been spending his evening with. Like how she only cared for herself. A trait she shared with many people present tonight. It came with the upbringing.

But when Eleanor Margot returned, Leo wasn’t by her side anymore. An uneasy feeling filled Mary, so she excused herself and approached Eleanor. “Where is Leopold?”

“I don’t know,” she answered. “I left him upstairs somewhere.” She waved her hand dismissively, rolled her eyes and turned away from Mary-Belle who was equally as irritated by the short exchange. Making her way upstairs to look for Leopold she passed some people who had separated themselves from the happenings of the soiree and a passed-out girl. She checked one room that was being occupied by a couple that didn’t even realize someone had entered. She quickly left.

The next room was barely illuminated. She entered cautiously but there were no noises coming from the direction of the bed this time. But, through the thin curtains hung in front of the windows she could make out two figures out on the balcony. Curiosity took over. When she came to a halt in front of the window, she moved the curtain slightly, just enough to look through the opening, but hopefully not enough to be noticed. On the balcony, Leopold and Daimler were in the middle of what looked like a very intense conversation with Leo standing on the other side of the railing.

Before she fully realized what was happening Leo had jumped. A shocked gasp escaped her. She moved away from the window, the curtain slipping from her hand. Her shaking hands came up to cover her mouth. What had he done? She hurried to the door to the balcony. Daimler was already gone and when she looked down, Leopold was nowhere to be seen either. She hoped he was alright, that he hadn’t hurt himself and was on the way to his friends. She would have to go look for him herself to make sure of it, but for now she would return home. Too many thoughts filled her head, worries about Leo’s wellbeing.

She made straight for the doors, taking one of the awaiting carriages and drove home. As she looked out onto the streets of London her thoughts were on Leo who had to be out there somewhere. Once again, he had left her without a word. It had been just by coincidence she had seen it happen. She didn’t want to think that she would never be as important to him as Beatrice and his new friends were even though they had known each other almost all their lives and he had just met them. It hurt too much, so she pushed that thought away. She wouldn’t think that way. She would find Leo and he would have a reasonable explanation for it all. Or at least she hoped he did.

Her plans to look for Leopold had to be moved to the day after because after waking up the next morning her mother announced that Mary-Belle had to accompany her. It was a rather annoying thought to be stuck by her mother’s side all day when she could be out. She’d rather use the day to find Leopold than to attend boring meetings with other ladies who would just end up talking about themselves, their husbands or their children. But she complied. They went to a tea house first. If she weren’t as worried, she might have actually enjoyed it. The place was quaint with only a few tables for guests to sit down, the food looked delicious and the tea smelled even more so. The woman who served them the tea always had a friendly smile on her round face that put Mary-Belle at ease. She was quite certain that that woman would provide better company than her current one. But she couldn’t leave. It would put a bad reputation on her family. How ironic life could be. That she had more sense for keeping up her family name than Leopold did. And he was the Prince of England! If she were more like him, she’d just stand up, walk out and search the streets until she found her friend.

She stayed. She stayed and listened to the conversations that were always the same with a small smile on her face that was as fake as the friendship between her mother and the other women present. When appropriate she chuckled. When it was expected of her, she told an anecdote that didn’t happen the way she said but that didn’t matter. Not to these people. Not to her. She could come up with anything as long as it was a story that fit the picture her family painted of themselves in public and what was demanded of her.

The sun was already setting when they returned home. Going out now would be a lost cause. She wouldn’t find anything, even if she didn’t get lost. It had to wait until tomorrow. Maybe she could study a map. Her father had to have some of them. She would ask at the dinner table. Most of the time she got what she wanted, so she was hopeful. It might make it easier to find Leo. And, like she had expected, her father let her into his study after dinner, rolling out a map on the desk. He asked her what she needed it for, but she waved him off with the explanation that she was just curious about London’s infrastructure which – even in her ears – sounded like a weak excuse, but her father believed her. He left her alone with the words that she can stay there as long as she wanted. She just had to be careful and put everything away when she was done.

When the door closed, she allowed herself to relax a bit more. She wasn’t exactly sure how the map would help her now, but she had hope. Leopold did mention some stuff when he told her about his new friends, so she just had to look for some of those markers. It couldn’t be that hard to do. She could find the cellar somehow, she was certain.

The Duck and Quiver. That’s what she needed to look out for. It had to be around here somewhere. She had followed the roads the map had told her to take and she was sure she was in the right place. She had to be. She took a turn to get off Baker Street. It was already a lot different from the environment she was used to, but it was oddly nice. The way the people interacted here out in the streets felt a lot more genuine than she’d ever experienced with people of the royal court. A man was shouting at another, shoving him before they both broke into laughter. Two women sat off to the side watching some kids kick an old can around in the middle of the street as they talked with each other with genuine smiles on their faces.

She took another turn and, in the distance, saw the sign she was looking for; the Duck and Quiver, it read. A relieved sigh left her. She had been looking all morning and finally found it. She made her way over and even before she got there, she saw Leopold. He was up on his feet, so he wasn’t hurt too badly, she concluded. He actually looked happy standing there with the crowds of people passing him.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him further to the side before he knew what was happening. But, when he saw her there, he smiled at her. “You found me!” he announced happily.

“I did! But I only went searching because I saw you jumping off the frigging balcony! Do you know how dangerous that is!” She shoved his shoulder. “I was so worried! I mean, you jumped off a bloody balcony, for fuck’s sake! I thought you wouldn’t put yourself in danger like that. We had just talked about it and then you go and do that. I can’t believe you!” She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Leopold tried the same by putting his hand on her arm but she shook it off. “Are you hurt?” she asked. For the first time she completely took in his appearance. His clothes were clean and the patches of skin she could see seemed unharmed.

“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry,” said Leopold.

“Well, I do worry because you’re my friend,” she explained, hitting him in the side this time. He hissed at the contact. His face scrunched up trying to fight the pain. “You have got to be kidding me! Leopold! You are not fine. How bad is it?”

“It’s fine, really.” She wanted to protest and look at the wound but Leopold didn’t let her speak or pull up his shirt to reveal his side. “I was hurt a little. There was no going around it, you know that. But I have been lying in bed since then to heal and it’s gotten a lot better. I can move, no problem.”

“That didn’t look like it was fine though,” she argued motioning towards his side.

“Well, yes, but you hit me! It’s fine if there is no one purposefully hitting me there. See,” He stood straight, opening his arms and jumping a little, “completely fine again.”

“Fine.” She gave in. There was no way she could convince Leo to rest anymore now. She has had to deal with his injuries before. He never stayed in bed for long. She looked around the place again, watching the people walking by, wondering if any of them were his new friends. “So, they forgave you?” She didn’t need to say which ‘they’ she was referring to for him to understand.

“They did.” He nodded. He noticed the distaste in her face, correctly assuming that it wasn’t aimed towards the people around, the place itself or his new friends. She was still mad at him for leaving. “Please, forgive me. I didn’t mean to leave like that. It was just all getting too much. That life,” He gestured towards the general direction of the castle, “it’s not what I want. I can’t keep living like that, if it means living a life of unhappiness. I wasn’t meant for that kind of life. All my life I was being locked away in the palace. It’s not what I want anymore. It wasn’t ever what I wanted, but I didn’t have a choice. I was born into that life, but now I found a way out. I found another life for myself with friends who like me for who I am and don’t just try to get close to me because of my family.”

“So, you think I’m not a real friend, that I don’t care about you and just want to spend time with you because – what, because you are the prince?” Leopold reached for her hand but was once again shaken off as she took a step back, tears collecting in her eyes out of both anger and sadness. “I was always there for you. Always. And not because of your status or your family but because of you, Leo.”

He tried again to reach out and pulled her back towards him before she could run off. “That is not what I mean. You are my friend, Mary. You are one of the few people in that place I actually care about and leaving you behind wasn’t easy. I never thought you were just there because of my status. Hell, you wouldn’t be here now if you didn’t care about me. You mean a lot to me, Mary, and me leaving that life has nothing to do with you.” He wiped the stray tear that had escaped off her cheek, his voice soft. “I told you everything about how I felt in that place, how trapped I felt. I often thought, you might even know me better than I do myself, but you can’t say stuff like that. It’s simply not true.”

“I know,” she admitted in a small voice. “I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry. And I’m happy you got out, really, and that you made things right with your friends. I’ll be here for you no matter what. You can always count on me.” She looked up at him. They both calmed down and stepped a little farther apart. The close proximity felt too intimate all of a sudden.

“Well, uhm, do you, maybe, want to meet them?” He asked, unsure of what else to say, but she shook her head no.

“No, thanks. I… should probably go home before my parents notice and everyone thinks we ran away together.” She laughed, even if she didn’t quite feel like laughing having to leave Leopold again shortly after finding him, but it was true. She had to get back. “But I will come back tomorrow, if that’s alright.” At least now she knew where to find him.

“Yes, of course!” He nodded excitedly. But then his attention was caught by something behind Mary-Belle. She turned to follow his line of sight. There stood a girl with a round face that was framed by her long dark hair. She was beautiful. By the way Leopold looked at her, that had to Beatrice. Bea, for short. Mary-Belle wouldn’t call her Bea. She didn’t know a lot about her. Leo had told her that all of them were orphans. Beatrice had a sister, but Mary-Belle had forgotten her name. And of course, Beatrice was the one Leo was in love with. She was looking right back at the pair, confusion clear on her face. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” said Mary-Belle and went in the direction of the Baker Street to find her way back from there.

“Mary-Belle!” Leopold called after her before she had gotten far. “And don’t tell anyone where I am!”

“Of course not,” she reassured him. “Just… be safe.” He promised her to be, but given what they had already experienced, he would probably not be able to keep that promise. He would try though. Or at least not tell her if he weren’t. They exchanged a last smile before they each turned towards where their life was taking place.

All the while they had been watched by Billy and Spike who had been sitting in the perfect position to see when Mary-Belle had pulled Leo to the side, catching Spike’s attention. “Hey, who’s that girl with Leo?” he asked his friend pointing towards the two of them who seemed to be arguing. Spike flinched when Leo was hit in the side, imagining the pain that must have caused him.

“I don’t know,” said Billy, taking in the situation with suspicion. “Looks like another rich girl who wouldn’t look our way twice. Just another one thinking they’re so much better than us. Just look at her.” The distaste on her face supported his argument. “Maybe he used to have something going on with her.” He shrugged. The situation interested him. Her presence alone and the way the both of them seemed to be close spoke against everything Leo had told them. When Leo cradled her face, Billy was convinced that what he had said was the truth. The way that girl looked at Leo held a lot of emotions.

“But what about Bea?” asked Spike. “I thought Leo liked her?”

“Maybe Leopold is a wanker, like I’ve been telling you guys. He doesn’t deserve Bea. Especially not like that.” He looked on, like Spike did, until they went their separate ways. “I’ll be right back,” he let Spike know before walking after her.

When Mary-Belle stepped out onto Baker Street the scenery changed immediately. Men were walking by in expensive suits and the road wasn’t as dirty. She let out a yelp when she was pulled back. A blond boy was towering over her intimidatingly, staring her down. With every step he took, she moved back, away from Baker Street and the people who might intervene in this situation. “Who are you and how do you know Leo?” he basically barked at her. Mary-Belle felt more at ease at his statement, not backing away anymore. Her searching eyes stopped to look at his face. This guy knew Leo. Not a lot of people did, so he had to be one of his friends. She hoped he was. Her change in composure didn’t go unnoticed by him which aggravated him even more. His chest heaving heavily, his fists clenched by his sides.

“I’m Mary-Belle, Leopold’s… acquaintance,” she said studying the face in front of her. His blue eyes stared right back at her. His dark-blond locks were cut short. She crossed her arms over her chest. “And you are?”

He ignored her question. “That back there didn’t look it was between acquaintances,” he argued. Mary-Belle’s eyes left his face shortly to look back to the direction she’s had her conversation with Leopold.

“I fear, that’s not any of your business. Why should I tell you anything anyway? You won’t even tell me your name.” She smirked. His face turned red, his muscles flexing. He looked a lot more intimidating like this. Maybe that was a mistake, maybe she shouldn’t have provoked him.

“What are you doing, Billy?” called Leopold’s voice. Mary-Belle let out a sigh of relief when ‘Billy’ backed away from her. She looked to where his voice came from. He was making his way over quickly, followed by Beatrice and two others. A pale girl with long dark hair that was pulled back into a braid, who she assumed must be Beatrice’ sister, and a boy with brown skin who focused on getting between Billy and Mary-Belle and talking the former down.

All eyes were on Leo and Mary-Belle when he came up to her, asking if she was alright and if Billy had hurt her. “Yes, I’m fine. I was just surprised. Not hurt or anything.”

“Who is that, Leo?”, asked Beatrice, her arms folded in front of her chest and an eyebrow raised. The other three were standing behind her as if to back her up, metaphorically and literally. Billy had seemed to calm down, but his eyes never left Mary-Belle even when Beatrice addressed Leo.

“I’m Mary-Belle.” She answered in his stead. “And I can speak for myself, thank you.” She smiled sweetly at them. “I’m a childhood friend of Leo’s.” This answer had to satisfy her because she couldn’t think of much else that wouldn’t reveal Leo’s identity this quickly but she was already thinking about a believable story. She’d stick to the truth as far as she could. It would make it easier.

“And what are you doing here, Mary-Belle?”

“Well, Beatrice,” if it affected Beatrice in any way that Mary-Belle knew her name, she didn’t show it, “I knew that Leo had run away from his home situation, so I was worried. But now that I know where he is and that he’s fine, I’ll be leaving. Which, by the way, had been my plan all along, hadn’t your friend here stopped me.” She eyed Billy up and down once more who was still looking back at her. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I’m gonna take my leave now.” Instead of going around the group to get to the street she moved straight forwards. Beatrice moved out of her way, but Billy remained where he was. She ignored it, shoving him lightly with her shoulder as she moved past him. This time they let her go, but the questioning wasn’t over. Now they focused on Leo.

“I thought you said you didn’t have any friends,” said Jessie. Her tone was not accusing in any way, just curious, different from all the looks he got from the others.

“I did say that. I lied,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. She’s the only friend I have. This is the truth, I swear. She’s the only one at home who ever really cared for me. She cares enough to know that I couldn’t stay there, that I had to get away from that life she’s a part of. That’s also why she came, to check up on me, to see if I was alright. I swear to you guys, that’s the truth. I didn’t tell you because…” He stopped for a second. Why hadn’t he told them about Mary-Belle? “If you had known that there was this person at home that cared about me like she does, you wouldn’t have let me in, we wouldn’t be the way we are now.” And he had wanted to keep her a secret. She had stuck by his side all their life. He never understood why she had decided to stay inside with him when there was so much to see outside of the palace. She did go outside, partly due to his request, but she’d always come back and tell him about what she’d seen. Even if it felt wrong, she belonged to a different part of his life. A life that didn’t fit into this group.

The others were still unconvinced, but let it go for now. He had broken their trust, but his reasoning was understandable, so they would forgive him soon. But now they had things to do. They huddled together revising the plan they had made the night before on how to efficiently shadow Watson before they started the operation.

The next day, Mary-Belle followed the same way she had taken before. Now that she knew where to find Leopold, she didn’t have to stop and overthink whether she should have taken that turn back there or the one up ahead, whether she walked in the right direction or should turn around. The streets were just as crowded as before but a familiar sight made her stop in her tracks.

Men of the castle, dressed in their uniform, were roaming the streets. As she took a closer look, she recognized one of them as Daimler who had been responsible for Leopold for as long as she could remember. They talked shortly with each other, three in total. Then they parted ways. But none of them walked back towards the castle. Rather they seemed to stroll down the streets, their gazes moving over the people. It took her a second to understand what was happening, but when she did, Mary-Belle hurried, taking a different way to get around them and to Leopold before Daimler did.

She kept looking behind her to reassure herself she had lost them or that she at least was in front of them. She had just thrown another look over her shoulder when she bumped into someone. She was about to apologize and move on when the voice of the person she had run into reached her ears. “What happened that you look so panicked, Mary-Belle?”

Leopold looked at her questioningly when she grabbed his arms and looked at him with wide eyes. “Daimler is out looking for you. I saw his men stopping people who resembled you. He’ll be here soon.” She looked back over her shoulder seeing one of Daimler’s men already down the street. “There is one of them!” She pointed him out to Leo. “I’ll distract him,” she offered. “You go hide!” Leopold thanked her quickly before he turned on his heel and ran in the other direction.

She did her best to regain her composure taking a deep breath before she moved into the path of Daimler’s man, looking as much of a fine lady as she was born to be. Her mother had taught her well. “You’re looking for Prince Leopold, have I heard correctly? Did something happen to him?” She faked a surprised gasp, leaning in conspiratorially. “Did someone take him? I had thought my eyes were deceiving me when I saw him in Acton, but it seems he indeed left the palace. He must still be there. It hasn’t been long since then.” She was lucky this man didn’t recognize her as he thanked her for her help and ran off. Not even the fact that she knew of Leopold’s existence threw him off.

While that man was now going to look for Prince Leopold in the wrong part of the city, she remained in the right one. Since she didn’t know where exactly he went to hide, she walked on towards the place she had talked with him in yesterday. He wasn’t to find there either, but she recognized two of his friends standing around there. One of them was the brutish one who had rudely confronted her the day before. Billy, if she remembered correctly. The other one she hadn’t caught the name of but he was the one walking up to her now with a friendly smile on his face. “You’re Leo’s friend, aren’t you? I’m Spike! Nice to meet you! I actually wanted to apologize for this lad’s behavior yesterday.” He pointed his thumb back over his shoulder at Billy who was eyeing the two of them skeptically. He leaned in and whispered, “He can be nice too, y’know, just doesn’t show it in front of new people.” She chuckled. He seemed the type.

“I understand. I guess, I would be reluctant too if a stranger showed up all of a sudden. My name’s Mary-Belle, but you can call me Mary if you want,” she offered.

“Are you kidding me? Of course, I remembered your name. How could I forget? Grumpy over there wouldn’t shut up about you last night.” This caused a real laugh to bubble up in her throat. Spike laughed with her and led her over to mentioned Grumpy.

“Always a pleasure, Billy.” She smiled at him. His expression turned even sourer. She hadn’t known it to be possible hadn’t she seen it with her own eyes. She turned back towards Spike who seemed to be more willing to engage in a conversation with her. “Have you seen Leo by any chance? I was looking for him.”

“Haven’t seen him since he left the cellar this morning, but he’s supposed to meet us here soon. You’re welcome to wait with us.” Spike sent another one of his charming smiles her way which she returned.

“Thank you. I think I’ll do just that.” Turning towards Billy she cocked her head to the side. “So, Billy, harassed any girls already today?” Spike moved to stand between the two of them before Billy could do anything.

“Don’t you think that takes it a bit too far?”, he asked her.

“No, I don’t actually. He cornered me and wouldn’t let me go until you guys came around. That’s not alright, so no, I’m not taking it too far. I was lucky he was actually your friend and not a random person. Who knows what would’ve happened otherwise!”, she argued. Her voice remained calm, but her eyes gave away the storm of feelings inside of her. Spike looked taken aback, so was Billy. They hadn’t thought of it that way.

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing she ever heard Billy say without any menace lacing his words. Their eyes met for a moment before he looked away again and went back to being quiet.

Spike looked from one to the other, wondering if there would be any more or if she had made her point and that’s it. She didn’t say anything either. Rather she opted to lean against the wall they had been standing next to. Spike followed her move to stand next to her.

“So,” broke Mary-Belle the silence, “what have you guys been up to?” Spike and Billy shared a glance, their uncertainty about what to say evident on their faces. “Leo has told me all about the monsters, so don’t worry about that.”

“He has?”, blurted Billy.

“He has,” she confirmed. The boys shared a look, the meaning of which remained unknown to Mary-Belle, but the moment was over quickly and Spike turned towards her. Billy went back to watching the people who passed, seemingly uninterested in the conversation.

“Just boring things, really. Nothing you have to concern yourself with. But we barely know anything about you. Why don’t you tell us something?”

“There is not much to know, to be honest. I’ve lived a fairly easy life, everything dictated by my parents, much like it had been for Leo, but I always had a roof over my head and a warm bed. Whenever we were together, I felt free, like I could just be myself without having to behave the way everyone expected of me.” She stopped talking quickly, thinking back over her words and let out a chuckle. “That was probably not something one should share in their first conversation with someone. Anyways, my favorite colour is blue.”

“Oh, that’s Billy’s favourite colour as well!” Mary-Belle let out a relieved breath that Spike chose not to focus on the first part but kept the topic of conversation light. Her eyes met Billy’s for a second before he looked away again, ignoring Spike who had grabbed his shoulder. “Mine’s orange. You know, when the sun’s almost down but still colours the water. That orange.”

“I don’t even remember the last time I saw that, but it sounds nice,” she admitted. She probably had never seen that, having been held in carriages if they were out at that time. They barely went near the water either. Most of her travel was between her home and the castle.

Billy opened his mouth to add something to the conversation, but stopped himself when someone called out to Mary-Belle. Leo made his way over and asked to speak to her alone for a moment. “Thank you for keeping me company,” she said to the two boys, “both of you.” Her gaze went from Spike to Billy. Then she walked a few steps with Leo until they were out of earshot.

“Daimler found me,” he came right to the point.

“What? Then why are you here now? And not on your way back to the castle?” She tried to keep her voice calm, but failed as it was slightly raised.

“Mother wasn’t informed of me running away. He would lose his job if she knew he let me, so he won’t bother me again.”

“Are you sure? He’s smart, whether you like it or not. He will probably come up with another way to get you to come back. He knows where you are now.”

“He won’t be a problem. I know it.”

“If you say so.” She wasn’t convinced of it.

“I actually have to go now,” he noted. Over her shoulder he could see that Bea and Jessie had joined Spike and Billy and were now just waiting for him. “We will talk soon, I promise,” he adds at the hurt look that flashed across her face. She nodded and watched him go with the others.

Spike turned and waved at her as they were leaving. She raised her hand and gave him a wave as well. A small smile had made its way back onto her face. Another pair of eyes watched her before his focus was taken by Spike prodding him with his elbow.  “Don’t tell me you’ve had a change of heart, Billy!”

Early the next day Mary-Belle heard word that Prince Leopold was to entertain his cousin Helena with a possible marriage in the future. Her mother had mentioned all that off-handedly during breakfast, making Mary-Belle choke on her tea. “I shall meet with him afterwards.”

“I’d assume they already count on you showing up on a day like this. Just be safe, your father had mentioned rising disturbances in the streets.”

“Of course, mother. I will be on my way shortly, then.”

Now she was walking the grounds, having been too late to show Leopold off to his meeting or talk to him about what had transpired the day before and too early since he was still having tea with Helena. Her mind was racing with thoughts about what might have happened, whether Leopold had come back willingly which she doubted but it was an option. Or maybe her worries had been legitimate and Daimler had found a way.

She got distracted by a commotion ahead of her. Palace guards stormed over to a person who had seemed to have jumped the wall. She neared cautiously which turned into confident steps when she identified the person being escorted off the grounds as Spike. She held herself high to convey as much authority as possible. “Let him go!”, she ordered, her voice not giving away the nervousness she was feeling as she stood up to the guards.

“But Lady-“, one of the guards who seemed to be in charge of the rest tried to argue.

“I said to let him go. He will come with me.” The guards who held onto Spike looked from her to their superior who nodded after a moment of consideration. They reluctantly let go of Spike who dusted off his jacket and reorganized his clothes. “And now you should go back to your posts.”

“Yes, Lady Mary-Belle!” They left, but not without wary side glances at Spike whom she turned to next.

“And you, follow me!” She started walking towards the castle. Spike easily fell into step next to her.

“That was amazing! I didn’t know you had it in you to have palace guards tremble in their knees. Thank you!” He looked back over his shoulder to watch the retreating guards.

“You don’t need to thank me. I’d rather you tell me what happened yesterday that Leo is back now.” Her brain seemed to just now catch up with her actions and the fact that Spike had tried to actually break into the Buckingham Palace. “And how you knew to come here! And why you did it. You just risked imprisonment or even a death sentence! Do you realize that? A lot of bad things could have happened, hadn’t I shown up.”

“Yes, but this is important! I had to come here and get Leo. He needs to come back with me.”

“Why? What happened?” She stopped next to the door she had used to enter the gardens. Her hand was already on the handle before she put it down again. This conversation was better to be had out of earshot of nosy palace personnel.

“Didn’t he tell you?”

She shook her head no. “I didn’t get the chance to speak with him yet.”

“Some guy told Bea who Leo is. He was in the cellar when we came back yesterday. She threw Leo out after. But we need him for what’s to come. She doesn’t know I’m here, but I know it’s what needs to be done.”

“I understand. Alright, come with me. He’s doing something right now, but I will make sure he speaks with you.” She led him through the palace halls, ignoring the hushed whispers of the people they passed at the sight of him. “Why did you come alone?”

Spike hesitated. “Bea doesn’t want to see him and I don’t know where Jessie is. Her and Bea had a fight.”

“What about Billy?”

He hesitated again. “He was imprisoned because he accidentally killed Vic Collins,” he admitted.

Mary-Belle stopped abruptly. Spike almost walked into her but caught himself before he did. When she turned towards him her eyes were widened in shock. “He did what? Wait- how… wha- how do you kill someone accidentally? And who is Vic Collins?”

Spike started to feel uncomfortable under her intense gaze and with the questions. He looked around before leaning in and whispering, “Can we talk about this somewhere else?” She realized they were out in the open, easy for anyone to listen in to their conversation.

“You’re right.” She grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the next room. A quick look around told her that they were alone, so she put her attention back on Spike. “Explain!”

“Well… don’t you want to sit down?”, he asked gesturing towards the chairs standing in the middle of the room.

“No, I don’t want to fucking sit down, Spike! Tell me what happened!” Her voice came out louder than intended. She tried to compose herself again with a few deep breaths but couldn’t help the anxious thoughts of all the possible things Spike might tell her now. Even though she hadn’t been particularly friendly with Billy, she never would have thought him a killer.

“Vic Collins was the master of the workhouse Billy and the girls were at. I don’t know everything that happened to them there but it wasn’t pretty. Billy saw him the other day and then last night… I don’t know exactly what happened but he told me it was an accident. Billy hit Vic. His head hit a pile of bricks and that was it. But Vic was one of them, so even if this was an accident…” He didn’t like speaking those next words. Luckily, he didn’t have to because Mary-Belle understood him anyways.

She knew how important these people were for Leo, so she made a decision rather quickly. “Where is he being held?” Spike told her. “I will take care of it,” she promised. “Leo will get out of his meeting shortly. Until then, I will leave you in good hands.” She once again led him out of the room. He was too perplexed to say much more. She was different than what he had imagined, doing that for a person she barely knew. Billy would be surprised, he thought.

She opened the door to the room she knew Louise would be occupying. She introduced Spike to her who was already charming his way into her heart when Mary-Belle left. On her way out, he called after her to meet them at Baker Street 221B, whether she succeeded or not.

Her first stop was her father’s office. The door was adorned with a plaque announcing the name of the person within. She entered after a voice from inside told her to come in. Her father was not a scary person. He might look the way with his stern gaze and his broad-shouldered physique and if Mary-Belle didn’t know him she would certainly be intimidated by him, but the person in front of her was her father who had never shown her anything but kindness.

“Mary-Belle, what a nice surprise!” His features softened as he recognized his daughter. “What are you doing here? I thought you would be at the palace.”

“I was.” She neared the desk her father was sitting behind. It was a big one, elegant, dark, something conveying his status. “I need your help, Father.”

“What is it, Mary-Belle? Come, sit!” He came around the table and led her to sit in one of the comfortable chairs he had standing by the wall. He took a seat next to her, taking in her troubled expression. “What can I help you with?”

“There is this boy…”, she started, but was interrupted.

“Are you in love, darling?”

“No, no, that’s not it.” She had to laugh a little at the absurdity of the thought. “He is a friend of mine, but something happened. He… There was an incident. He defended himself, but while doing so the other man… he- he died. And now my friend is going to get a death sentence because he is poor and the man he killed was a master at the workhouse. But he is not at fault, Father! It was in self-defense! He does not deserve this, so I need to get him out. Please, Father, will you help me?”

Her father hummed understandingly. “That is quite the situation your friend has gotten himself into. But I might be of help. If he is important to you, he is important to me.”

“Oh, thank you, Father!” She couldn’t hold back the smile as she threw her arms around him. When she let go of him, he walked over to his desk and pulled a piece of paper out of one of the drawers. She watched as he wrote something down on it, put it in an envelope and sealed it. He did the same thing a second time, putting names on both envelopes.

“Now I need you to do something. I do not have the time to do it myself, so I’m leaving this task to you.” She nodded, already reaching out for the envelope her father held towards her. “Bring this to Governor Jameson. If he does as it says in the letter, he will give you one as well. Then this one,” he handed her the second envelope, “you bring to the Chief of Police. As well as the one you will get from Governor Jameson. It will probably not be enough, so,” he opened another drawer. Two little sacks were put onto the desk, the content clinging as they were moved, “here is some money. He may not let him out just by the words of some important people, but I know the man. He is as greedy as they come. Give him this. Save some coins to give to the ones working where your friend is being held. I can’t do any more than this, but I hope it is enough.”

“Thank you so much, Father!” She grabbed the coin bags and put them into the pockets of her skirt before she turned to leave.

“I hope you can get him out, darling. And take care!”

“Of course! I will see you tonight!” She held onto the letters as tight as she could without damaging them as she ran through the streets of London. Governor Jameson’s office was not far but the streets were rowdy. She let out a sigh of relief when she entered the house.

The governor wouldn’t speak with her right away. She was told he was in an important meeting, so she waited in the hall. Every now and then someone passed her but they usually didn’t pay attention to her. As she waited, she thought about what was happening at the palace right now, if Spike already had the chance to speak to Leopold and what he had said. Maybe he went with him. She hoped he did. From what Spike told her they needed him. He had become a part of their group. And now she had to work on getting the last member of that group back.

Now that she had time to think, the pressure she was under sank in. She was responsible for getting Billy out of jail and through that saving his life. If she failed, what other options would he have? Would it be over for him then? She didn’t like to think about that outcome. This needed to work. If not, she wouldn’t know what to do anymore.

A young man came towards her. “Governor Jameson will see you now, Miss.” He showed her the way, knocked and opened the door for her to enter.

“Ah, Lady Mary-Belle. How is your father? I would believe he has much to do with the way people seem to be acting at the moment.” The man behind the desk had a round face. He usually tried to hide his receding hairline with a hat which was now hanging from the hat stand next to the door. He invited her farther into the room before he asked what he could do for her.

“My father sent me. He gave me this letter for you,” she explained and held the envelope out to him. He took it with a smile that couldn’t quite hide his surprised expression. It was unusual for anyone to send their daughters for business purposes. He opened the envelope, intently reading the letter inside, nodding along as he read. “I see,” he muttered when he put it down. “That’s quite the dilemma. I will support this, but tell your father he owes me.” He picked up a pen and pulled a piece of paper from a drawer.

“Of course! Thank you, sir!” He quickly scribbled some lines down before he sealed the letter into an envelope. “I believe you have somewhere else to go now, so I won’t keep you any longer, but remember that this won’t come without a price.”

“Yes, thank you again, sir. I will be on my way then.” She took the envelope from him. Now that she had the letters whose content she was unfamiliar with she felt like half the work was done already, but she was unsure of how the conversation with the Chief of Police would go. He might be the biggest obstacle in her way.

Even getting an opportunity to speak with the Chief of Police turned out to be quite the deed. The whole building was bustling with people running around. There were shouts and clamoring. Everyone was restless. She tried to go about it as usual, walking up to the reception and waiting for someone to offer their help. But even behind the reception desk there was no one who spared her a second glance as they went about their business, frantically looking for things and calling people’s names. She stood there for what felt like forever just watching them ignore her. The door kept being opened and closed, the slam filling the air each time it fell shut. And each time it did, Mary-Belle jumped a little. When the loud noise of the door closing sounded again, she decided she would not wait around any longer. Since nobody paid attention to her anyways at the moment, she used it to her advantage and tried to find her way through the hallways to the one person she needed to speak with.

She never thought it would be this easy to get inside the Headquarters without being stopped, but there she was reading the signs by the doors that would tell her which room she had to enter. She blamed it on the current situation with all that negative supernatural energy or whatever it was in the air. It might’ve helped to ask more about that, but now it was too late. The thumping footsteps came and went, but they never stopped next to her.

When she finally found the right room, she was out of breath. The building was larger than it looked like from the outside. But she was also incredibly nervous. Now was the moment that would decide Billy’s future. She fumbled for the two letters in the pockets of her skirt. The paper got scrunched a little by how tightly she held onto it. This was it. This was possibly the only chance.

She knocked. She wanted to knock with force, letting the Chief know that she was no person easily intimidated, but it was a faint, polite knock. A knock in the way her mother had taught her. Still, it was heard, even over the commotion happening all around and she was asked to enter.

The midday sun illuminated the room, its rays finding their way through the big windows behind the desk the Chief was sitting behind. He watched intently as she entered, curious as to what a young girl was doing there at a time like this. “Please, sit down. What may I help you with, miss?”

She did as she was told, sitting down in one of the two chairs facing the desk. It was uncomfortable, not meant to be sat on for a long time and Mary-Belle felt utterly unwelcome even though the Chief of Police gave her a smile. It didn’t reach his eyes though which were accentuated by the dark bags under them. She once again made use of the mask of confidence she put on at the palace. “Hello, sir. My name is Mary-Belle Heavensforth, daughter of Lord Aaron Heavensforth. I come to you regarding the case of a young man who is now in confinement. I may answer any question you have, but first, you should read these letters.” She handed them over, surprised at the fact that her hand was not shaking.

He broke the seal of the first letter quickly, scanning over the lines before he turned his attention to the second letter. He held one in each hand, his gaze darting from one to other, humming in acknowledgement. The content of the letters was unknown to Mary-Belle, so she had to assume her father only gave information he had known from her. He might have left out some details – the letter wasn’t long enough to have the whole story and the plea – so it was on her to fill in any information he might still need and to do anything it would take to get Billy out. “I see,” he said before he looked over the brim of the papers at her. “So, you believe this boy to be innocent.” She nodded. “Explain to me then what transpired and why you think we should let him go.” So, she gave him the story that Spike had told her, about the master at the workhouse, his history with Billy and his friends and what had happened the night Vic Collins died. “And were you there that night? Did you see it with your own eyes?”

She faltered. What was the best way to go about this? “I was not.” She chose to stick with the truth. “But,” she followed up, “I do know this boy. He would not consort to this kind of violence if he weren’t defending himself or the people he loved. And he would never kill someone with intent. In front of you, you have the testimonies of two highly educated and sophisticated men with power. They speak out for his release and vouch for him.” At least she hoped that this was what was written on those pages her father had sent with her. “I vouch for him as well even though my word might not mean much to you. I will see to it that such thing will not happen again and that you may not hear of him badly anymore.”

“It does say here that your father will see to it that the boy may be put under his supervision. I do believe that your father is a man of his word. I have not been proven to think any less of him yet.” The Chief put one of the letters down to scratch his beard in thought. “But I can’t just write you a release form for this boy out of nowhere.”

“My father had guessed you might say something like that, so he gave me this for you.” She reached into her pockets once again and pulled out one coin bag. She sat it on top of his desk, making sure the coins made a sound as she dumped it on top of his papers. He snatched it up immediately, opening it to look inside at the shiny coins.

“That is indeed a compelling argument,” he pondered. He weighed the bag in his hand eyeing the coins with great interest. “Alright, I will write a release form for this boy, but do have your father contact me again in a few days. I need to speak with him.”

“Of course.” She could barely suppress her smile. She did it! She actually did it! Billy would get out and not die by judge’s rule. She looked on as the Chief shouted for someone. The door swung open revealing a rather young-looking man. His hair was disheveled and he seemed to be just as busy as everyone else in the building.

“Please, show this young lady to our front area,” he addressed the man. Mary-Belle felt panic rush in. If he had just betrayed her, taken the money and the letters, she would have lost. She would have fought for Billy’s life without success and would have to leave him to his destiny. As much as she had thought about it, there was no other way. She would be back on the streets with no trumps up her sleeve and the impending death of a boy weighing down her heart. But, the Chief turned back towards her as she lifted herself off the chair. “I will have the letter brought to you shortly. Just wait down there and that boy will be free as soon as you get the letter to the according office. That is, if your father follows up with his promise that the boy will be put under his care. He will be responsible for the boy’s actions, so he better behave or it will be over with your father’s good standing.”

She recognized his words as they were. A threat. As easily as he could get Billy out of prison now, he could put him back and take her father down right beside him. “Yes, Sir!”

She had to wait in that front area for way too long. People passed. She watched the same people that would enter the building leave it again. A cycle that seemed to find no end and still no release letter in sight. The doubt crept in slowly again. He could just take the money and act like nothing ever happened. She would have nothing against him. And who would believe her? She had no such standing as he did. She was already thinking about how to break the news to Leo and Spike and their other friends. She wasn’t even able to do that. She was quite useless apparently. And replaceable. Leopold had shown it clearly. Each time it seemed so easy for him to leave her and just run off to his new friends and go on adventures with them. Compared to them she had nothing to offer, except for her love but even that he didn’t want.

When the letter finally arrived, given to her by the same man who had led her out of the office, she just took it without another word and left. He would probably not care enough to take the story of her rude behavior back to his superior. She had somewhere to be now and she didn’t care about other people’s opinions at the moment. She felt troubled enough, torn between her love for Leopold and the selfish wish of having him back at the palace with her, away from his new friends and the fact that they were nice people who did nothing wrong. They offered Leopold some form of family, something he couldn’t find at the palace. Something she apparently couldn’t compare to. And now one of them had his life on the line. No matter how she felt towards them she could not just let someone die who didn’t deserve it while knowing she could do something about it. And apparently, she could. Or rather her father could. For the first time ever, she realized how far connections and money could get someone. It opened doors and gave you leverage. She had always been amazed by her father. Now even more so. Even though she didn’t spend that much time with him, she’d always admired him, his hard work and how far it had gotten him.

The scene outside had changed since she had entered the building. Where before the streets seemed quite deserted and eerily quiet, there was now clamoring coming from every corner, frightened screams, angry yells, shocked cries. She dared a quick glance down the first alley she passed on her way to where Billy was held. Two men were rolling in the dirt, their shirts already speckled with blood that dripped from their respective faces. Dirt covered all their clothes as they held onto each other, throwing punches mindlessly. As long as they made contact, they seemed satisfied. She hurried to get away from there and stayed away from small alleys the rest of the way.

She was stopped right after entering the building. An arm shot out, followed by a body that moved in front of her. The burly man sneered at her. “This is no place for a little girl like you.”

She brushed over the comment, choosing to stay professional. “I am here on business,” she announced, handing over the letter from the Chief of Police. “I am to get a boy you are holding here.” He snatched the letter from her hand. He took a quick glance over the written words before he let out a groan. “Fine. Jackson,” he screamed into the room he had previously come out of, “get that orphan kid from the cell. We’re letting him go.” He didn’t seem pleased about it as he looked back at her. “You should be careful. He’s dangerous.”

“I am aware,” she answered nonchalantly before she pulled the second coin bag out of her pocket and put it into the hands of the officer. “For your troubles.” She smiled politely. His eyes narrowed onto the bag, intrigued by the weight in his hand. His demeanor changed drastically in a split second.

“Of course. It is our duty to be here for the people of London. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get back to work, but you will be brought to the boy shortly.” Mary-Belle refrained from rolling her eyes, but gave him a polite smile and nod instead. At least until his back was turned towards her. She doubted he would work now. He will probably go to sit down in private and count the coins in the bag.

Another man appeared in the door. “Please, follow me. He is being held in the back.” The smile on this man’s face seemed way more genuine than the old man’s. He couldn’t be more than a few years older than her. He led her down the narrow hall and down some stairs into a gloomy basement that held the cell. It was packed to the brim with all different kinds of people. She couldn’t find Billy at first glance, the many bodies obstructing her view. The man, Jackson, walked over to the guard by the door telling him what was about to happen. His eyes wandered over to her figure shortly before looking back at Jackson and narrowing his eyes. It took him some more talking to before he turned around and focused his gaze on someone. “You, orphan boy,” he called out catching the blonde’s attention, “you’re free to go.” The barred door rattled as it was pushed open. The surprise on Billy’s face was obvious as he stepped out of the cell. “You have that lady over to thank.” The guard gestured over to you.

A look of confusion washed over Billy’s face as he saw Mary-Belle standing at the bottom of the stairs. He never expected to see her there, especially not to get him out of jail. He was too shocked to say anything as he neared her. Mary-Belle quickly grew tired of his non-reaction. She grabbed his wrist and led him out of the shabby cellar and out onto the street where the people were still clamoring and screaming at each other. A different picture than what she was used to seeing in the streets of London.

Billy got ahold of himself quickly after they made it outside. The fresh air helped him focus his thoughts. As soon as they got to the street, he jerked his hand out of her hold, making her turn to look at him expectantly, eyebrows raised and hands on her hips. “What are you doing?”, he asked, still in that tone like he hated her guts and was spitting accusations.

“You know, you should be nicer to the person who got you out of a trial that would most definitely have ended in your death.” That shut him up, at least momentarily, but he also did not deem it necessary to thank her. He glared at her for another moment before he left her standing there. She watched after him in bewilderment at his audacity. But Billy rethought his decision when he saw at least five people in a fistfight happening over a dead body. It was already worse than he had thought. He walked back over to her, grabbed her wrist like she had his before and dragged her along with him, past the fighting people.

“We are supposed to meet Spike at Baker Street 221B,” she told him after they had walked in silence for a minute. Billy wondered shortly how she came to know this, what happened while he had been in that cell that now this girl he barely knew got him out of his certain doom, but he kept quiet and led her to Baker Street 221B.

They were the last to arrive. The whole group was already present. Bea and Spike were happy to see Billy out as a free man and greeted him happily, enclosing him in hugs. They thanked Mary-Belle for her help before they turned their attention back to him. When the three of them and Leo moved to the other room, she didn’t know whether to follow them or leave. Eventually, she took some steps to follow them but stopped in the doorway. There, in the room, a dark-haired girl was lying unconsciously on the sofa with the others gathered around her. It seemed an intimate situation that she didn’t want to intrude on, so she made the decision to leave them now. She had done her part and was not needed anymore.

A tall man walked towards the room the teenagers were gathered in when Mary-Belle was about to open the door. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her. His gaze followed her arm to the door handle. “You shouldn’t go out there now,” he advised. Joyful sounds came from the adjacent room. The girl must have woken up. “Come with me,” he ordered and so, she followed him back to the room.

The girl that had been previously unconscious was sitting upright on the sofa now and told this man about a place they needed to go to. He nodded sternly and told the boys to follow him, leaving Mary-Belle alone with the two girls. She felt entirely out of place and didn’t know what to say or do. She couldn’t even look at them, so she walked over to the window and looked outside while the other two were speaking in hushed voices among themselves.

Outside was a mess, people running around, swinging weapons of all sorts, handmade, bought or just using whatever was available to hurt others. Just outside the window she was looking on as a man bashed in the skull of another, his teeth fletched. He even seemed to be growling at the man who was lying at his feet, blood flowing out of his fatal wound, coloring the sidewalk a dark red. Mary-Belle covered her mouth with a shaky hand at the barbaric act that had occurred in front of her eyes. And when the man looked up, his crazy eyes staring right into hers she let out a gasp and took a step back. She had seen pure rage in his eyes, no clear thoughts, just the urge to hurt and kill.

Her eyes were still fixed on the curtain. It had fallen back into place but she still had the image of the open skull and the look in the man’s eyes on her mind as if she was still staring at it. A hand grabbed her arm and pulled her away. Her gaze travelled to the person who sat her down on a chair far away from the window. She was still shaking. It was Billy whose place was quickly taken by Leo. He had looked out the window to see what had left you in this state. The crazy man was gone, but the body was still lying there on the sidewalk. Leo kneeled down by her side. His hand rested on her knee as he talked to her reassuringly. Her breathing calmed after a short while as the others looked on. She found words to answer Leo’s worried questions in a quiet voice.

As it was clear that she would be fine the other’s attention shifted. Beatrice and Jessie shared a look that had a clear meaning. They had to go. Now. Beatrice announced it to the group that immediately moved to the entrance. Bea stayed back a moment longer with Leo and Mary-Belle. “She’s coming with us!”, Leo insisted, looking up at Bea from his kneeling position.

The girl did not have the time to argue with him right now. They were in a hurry, so she agreed. “As long as she doesn’t get in the way.

“I won’t,” Mary-Belle promised and stood up to join the rest of the group.

When they left the building, warned by Watson to stay together, she threw a glance in the direction of the window she had been standing in. The body looked different now. Pieces of the skull and brain were scattered around it. Bile rose up in her throat, but she forced herself to look away and keep moving. She promised not to be in the way and so she wouldn’t. And she wouldn’t slow them down either. She hiked up her skirt – which was a very inconvenient choice of clothing for the occasion – and hurried after the others.

She was filled in about the whole situation by Leo on the way. To say she was shocked would be an understatement. “I thought you said you’d be safe!”, she exclaimed in frustration and anger. “That is not ‘being safe’! It’s like the opposite of safe. We are literally running towards the danger!”

“The danger is all around us!”, he retaliated. “We have to stop this! We’re the only ones that can because we know what is happening.”

They came to a stop in front of the entrance to Aldgate Station. Watson tried to open the door, unsuccessfully. It was jammed. It only took him a moment to come up with a different plan. He showed them another entrance, through the sewers. All of them stood around the hole looking down into the dark. Even though it was the only way to get to the Linen Man and Sherlock, a shudder crept down Mary-Belle’s spine at the thought of going down there.

Billy nudged Spike to tell him to go first, but he refused. There was another moment where none of them moved a muscle but then Mary-Belle heard distant noises which made her overcome her fears for a moment and announced, “Then I’ll go first!” She quickly climbed down before she could change her mind again but the growling and yelps coming from up there just helped to reassure her in her decision. Her skirt tore on the way down. She didn’t complain though as it gave her more freedom to move although it was a bad day to have worn one of her favorite dresses.

Surprisingly, the sewers were lit well enough to see without any additional gadgets. It only took Mary-Belle a moment to get used to the dim lighting. By the time she was able to see completely fine, the others have found their way down. Watson instructed them to stay together and to be quiet. It would be over for them if the Linen Man knew they were there. In moments like this Mary-Belle regretted tagging along. She was pretty certain she would die today. How could a bunch of teenagers save the world? Especially from some supernatural Rip that’s threatening to absorb this world? She still didn’t quite get what was actually happening. It was all a bit hard to wrap her mind around.

She kept close to Watson while moving through the tunnel. Sticking close to the only adult seemed like the most reasonable decision. He gave the impression he knew what he was doing which made her feel a little safer.

Nobody noticed the moment Beatrice stopped moving with them. Only when she cried out in agony they realized and quickly rushed back to her. Panic washed over Mary-Belle as she remembered the words Watson said about what would happen if the Linen Man found out they were there. Watson covered her mouth to stop her screams, hoping against all hope that the Linen Man and Sherlock hadn’t heard them yet and thus knew that they were close.

They started moving again after Beatrice had calmed down. It hadn’t taken long but time was precious now. With every second passing the world was closer to its end. Mary-Belle still remained close to Watson while she kept stealing glances at Beatrice to gather whether she would be alright. Every single sound had her on edge.

That the boys were not behind them anymore was suddenly realized when they started crying out. Beatrice did as well, clutching her head and sinking towards the ground. Tears were streaming over her face and she mumbled, “No, no, don’t go! Mum! Mum!” Mary-Belle tore her gaze away from Beatrice when gunshots were fired right next to her. The loud sound left her ear ringing. She only saw a flash of white before it was gone, scared away by Watson’s gun. Jessica ran after it and left them to deal with Beatrice who would not calm down.

The boys’ cries could still be heard as well, Leo’s standing out to Mary-Belle the most. She couldn’t bear hearing that and doing nothing, so she ran towards him. Watson shouted her name after her, telling her to not walk off alone, but she didn’t listen. If he didn’t have to take care of Beatrice, he would’ve gotten up to stop her, but he couldn’t leave the crying girl on the ground alone there.

Mary-Belle ran back down the path they had taken, following his outcries, she quickly found Leopold. He was sitting on the ground, knees pulled up to his chest and his head between his hands. He screams and cries out. Each cry tore more at her chest. He removed his hands from his ears to stare at them as if he could see something on them that she didn’t. She dropped down next to him and tried to talk him out of it like he did with her back at Baker Street, but she couldn’t get through to him, so she just sat there, quiet tears rolling down her face at seeing the boy she loved in this state.

And then it stopped. From one moment to the next, his screams quieted down. He looked up from the ground and towards her in confusion, not grasping what had just happened. Relief flooded her system as she threw her arms around him. It took a moment, but then he returned the hug, desperately holding on to her.

Billy’s voice called out to Leo prompting them to let go off each other. He appeared in front of them seconds after and helped Leo off the ground who in turn helped Mary-Belle. His movements were still slow and staggered like he didn’t quite have a grasp on reality. Billy then called out to Spike who called back immediately. The three of them moved towards where his voice was coming from, finding him on the ground as well. He was already back on his feet when they came to a stop by his side. They made sure he was unharmed, physically at least, before continuing on the way they had gone before this happened, hoping to reunite with Beatrice, Watson and Jessica.

When Beatrice and Watson were already in sight, just down the tunnel, the earth began to rumble, debris falling down, dust collecting on their heads and clothes. Leopold pulled Mary-Belle back before the ceiling of the tunnel collapsed in front of them, separating them from Beatrice and Watson.

When most of the dust settled and she could see clearly again she saw Billy lying on the ground. His leg was pinned under two big stoned and he knew that it was wrecked. “Billy! Leo!”, Beatrice shouted from the other side of the rubble as Leo and Spike helped Billy up. He couldn’t put weight on the leg without crying out in pain, so Spike supported him. They let Beatrice know that his leg was probably broken.

A short argument broke out since Beatrice wanted them to go back to the cellar but Billy refused to leave them. “Be reasonable, Billy,” Mary-Belle chimed in. “The tunnels aren’t safe and you wouldn’t be of much help anyway with your leg. You should rest before it will get even worse,” she argued.

Billy was about to retort when Beatrice spoke up again. “Listen to her, Billy!” She sounded desperate. “And promise me… Promise me that you’ll keep each other safe.” Silence overcame them for a moment as they thought about what they were going to do before Spike agreed and gave her the promise. Leo followed suit. For Billy to agree it took some more demands from Beatrice. Her voice still sounded strong despite her desperation and in that moment Mary-Belle realized what Leopold saw in her. “Mary-Belle?” Beatrice called out to her as well, this time a bit calmer. “Will you promise me, too?” She was surprised that Beatrice wanted her to give the promise as well. After all, she was not a part of their group.

“Of course,” she replied nonetheless, never having thought of doing anything other. “I promise.” With those promises made they went on their way, Leopold going to Billy’s other side to support him as well. Mary-Belle walked behind them. Still feeling uneasy, she kept throwing glances over her shoulder like something would appear there at any moment. Thankfully, it didn’t and they made it out of the sewers without any more incidents.

“Mary-Belle, here, take over!”, Spike instructed you, so that he could move in front of them to protect them. She took his place at Billy’s side. He slung his arm over her shoulder begrudgingly. He didn’t have much of a choice now about who would help him move. He just needed to get home and off the streets, so he would have to get used to the idea of Mary-Belle supporting him on the way.

The streets were ruthless. Never had she seen anything like this. The people had turned crazy. The ones that hadn’t either fell victim to the ones that had or hid out in their homes behind barred doors and windows. Having to basically carry Billy through the streets slowed them down immensely. Each time they came upon someone she tensed but kept moving in the strong believe that when it came to it, Spike would protect them. Most of the time they were ignored though. Maybe they were not interesting enough for those who found liking in eating someone’s intestines. The things Mary-Belle had already seen today were nightmare material for the rest of her life, but she doubted that it would be all. The day wasn’t over yet, the world hadn’t ended yet. There was still time to be traumatized even more.

With each step Billy hissed in pain. He tried his hardest not to scream but some steps were even worse than the ones before and he couldn’t stop the screams that escaped him.

The sight of the ‘Duck and Quiver’ sign was a relief. They had made it. Mary-Belle was out of breath. Her body was hurting from having to haul Billy all the way through the city but she did not dare compare it to the pain he must be feeling. He had to sit down for a moment on the stairs across the street from the pub, groaning and hissing. They had tried to stabilize his leg. It didn’t do much but was probably better than just leaving it without.

“Watson was right,” said Leo, “the city’s turning. With the Rip the way it is every time someone prays for help or wishes, that’s all it takes now.”

“We should’ve stayed and found a way through. We’re useless here,” added Billy.

“You would have been useless there, too,” Mary-Belle remarked, growing tired of his behavior. “I mean, look at you. You can barely stand. What would you have done there? Going back was the best option whether you choose to believe it or not.”

“You-“ Billy’s answer was cut short as what looked like blue lightning soared through the sky. It rumbled, crackled and sissed as it came down from the sky and connected with the building that held the pub. Blue lines danced along the walls as the magic – there was no other way Mary-Belle could describe it – made its way into the building.

“Jessie still hasn’t closed the Rip,” observed Leo. “It’s nearly over. It could be too late now.”

Spike rushed them to get moving again, so that they could find shelter in the cellar and hope for the best. Mary-Belle moved back to Billy’s side and helped him get up as Leo took his other side. They stopped again shortly after as terrified screams came towards them and a bunch of people came running from behind the corner, a weapon-swinging attacker after them. They tried to stop him as he had a nun cornered against her door but without any luck.

Spike didn’t hesitate as he lunged forward and knocked him out with his rifle. The man fell to the ground having lost his consciousness. Spike was rather excited about the fact that he succeeded in taking him down. “I rifled him! I rifled him!”, he announced in disbelief. Leo, Billy and Mary-Belle moved over to him as he helped up the nun who had been cowering on the ground. She told them how the man came after them in the church. She was desperate as she told them that they had nowhere to go. Billy immediately offered that they could come with them and so, they made their way to the cellar together.

Mary-Belle let out a sigh of relief when Spike closed the door behind them and barred it. With walls surrounding them she felt a lot safer than out on the street. They set Billy down on a chair. Without him weighing down on her she stood up straight again and rolled her shoulders to get at least some of the tension out. It barely worked. The stress and anxiety just made her more tense. No rolling her shoulders would help with that.

Sister Anna, as Mary-Belle had found out the nun was called, moved to the back of the cellar with the other two they had taken in while Billy, Spike, Leo and Mary-Belle stayed more in the front. She went to stand with Leo. “How are you feeling?”, she asked.

“I’m not sure, to be honest. That was close back there. You do realize you were almost crushed back then, don’t you?” His gaze was fixed on her, worry in his eyes.

“Don’t turn this on me now,” she scolded. “I asked how you were doing. I am fine, thanks to you, but the Linen Man got into your mind. What did you see? Do you want to talk about it?”

“I- There was blood, so much blood. I-I don’t know. I thought I was about to die.” His eyes glazed over as he thought back on the visions he had. “I was all alone and I thought I was dying.” He didn’t say anything else, stuck on that feeling. Mary-Belle wrapped him into another hug bringing him back into the moment. “Thank you!” He smiled at her softly before his gaze moved over to Billy who was breathing heavily from the extortion that getting to the cellar had been for him. “How did you get Billy out of jail anyway?” She recalled the story for him, stressing that it wouldn’t have been possible if she had done it without her father’s help. “How did he take the condition that he would be under your father’s supervision?”

“I didn’t tell him yet,” she admitted, avoiding the reproachful look he gave her. “How am I supposed to tell him? I can barely be near him without him hating every moment. That doesn’t really make me enjoy his company either. He hates me. I’m sure of it.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Leo argued. “That’s how he was with me at first as well. Now we’re friends. New people are not really his thing, I guess, especially rich ones.”

“Leo’s right.” Mary-Belle jumped at Spike’s sudden appearance by her side. “It may be hard to believe for you, but Billy is actually quite nice and a good friend. He cares. More than he admits himself sometimes. And I bet he doesn’t hate you. You two just got off on the wrong foot.”

“So, you’re saying…”

“You should talk to him.” Spike and Leopold both rolled their eyes at the groan she let out. They kept looking at her expectantly as she waited to see who would give in first.

“Ugh, fine.” She was the first to break. She turned towards Billy and even got a little shove from Spike to get her to move. She shot a sour glance at him over her shoulder but went to sit down next to Billy. He looked up from what he was doing to focus on her. She couldn’t quite decipher the way he was looking at her. It might be hatred, might be intrigue, might be disgust.

“What are you doing?” He asked after she did not speak up after sitting down.

“I just wanted to sit,” she replied but she could feel Spike and Leo watching her, their gazes boring into her and giving her the motivation to talk a little more. “How are you feeling?”

“Still think we should’ve stayed, should’ve been there for Bea and Jess,” he grumbled.

“Look,” she tried to explain once again, “I told you. With your leg like that, you can barely move. Just getting here already took such a strain on you. If it had come down to it, if we had to get out of there quickly, you would’ve held everyone back. You can’t do much with your leg like that. And if we hadn’t come here, who knows what would’ve happened to Sister Anna. It was the most reasonable decision. I am sure, Beatrice thought the same. Otherwise, she probably wouldn’t have sent you back. She wanted you to stay safe and I bet she won’t let herself get hurt either. You will all be together again.”

He considered her for a moment. “I guess,” he agreed begrudgingly. They sat in silence for another minute or two. Both of them looking anywhere but at each other. “Thank you,” he finally mumbled. At her confused gaze he groaned once more. “For getting me out of the trial, I mean. You’re right. If they had gone through with it, it would have ended with my death sentence, so thank you. I appreciate it.”

“How about we start over?”, she proposed, turning so she could properly face him.

“What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. Start over.” She paused for a second before giving him a bright smile and extending her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Mary-Belle.” Throwing all the things she had learned about etiquette out the window she introduced herself with only her first name.

Billy seemed surprised at that. He looked thoughtfully at her outstretched hand before he grasped it. His eyes didn’t leave hers as he pressed her hand gently. “Billy. The pleasure’s all mine.” He laughed a little as he let go of her hand. It brought a genuine smile to her face as she chuckled along. “So,” Billy stated. His gaze was on Leo and Spike who were looking over in a manner that was not very inconspicuous, “do they think I would murder you or is there another reason they are watching us this intently?”

She followed his gaze. The two boys weren’t bothered by the fact that their attention was now on them. “They might. Or they think I would you. We do not have the best history after all.”

“You’re different from what I thought,” Billy admitted which took her by surprise.

“Elaborate.”

“Do I have to?” His eyes found hers again. A teasing smile adorned his lips.

“You do,” she insisted.

“I guess, we met you at a time I was also very suspicious of Leo. For good reason, I might add. He lied to us. I have forgiven him for that, don’t worry,” he added after he saw the look that she gave him before he continued, “But my experiences with nobility hadn’t been very good. I didn’t trust him, so I wouldn’t trust you either. I was rude and I scared you. I’m sorry about that. I thought you’d be just like the others who are well-off, up-tight with a stick up your arse and thinking you are better than everyone else, especially those living like we do. But you are… not like that.” He didn’t explain any further.

“I take that as a compliment, so thank you. You’re not as much of a rowdy as I thought you were.” She squeezed his shoulder as she got up as a way to end the conversation, before she walked over to Leo and Spike.

“He seemed to have taken the news well,” noticed Leo.

She just sighed, hanging her head in shame. “I couldn’t do it. We got along for once and I didn’t want to destroy that right after.”

“You have to tell him at some point.”

“I know. Let’s just survive the night first and then I will tell him. I promise.”

They were shaken out of their conversation when a rattling sounded from the door. Someone was trying to get in. They came together at the bottom of the stairs, ready to defend the cellar. Somehow, Mary-Belle ended up next to Billy who noticed the way she watched the rattling door. Each of them grabbed a weapon. Billy handed her one as well. “Scared?”, he asked.

“Of course. Unlike you apparently, I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

“I’m scared, too,” he admitted quietly before chaos reigned down upon them. Surprisingly it didn’t come the way they expected with the door splintering and bloodthirsty people storming in but with the Sister finishing a prayer. They hadn’t been able to stop her from saying that last faithful word. They barely moved fast enough to watch her turn. Her eyes turned black, no light shining in them, no life, no recognition. The dark lines crawling over her skin made her look monstrous, inhuman. But even as her appearance had changed into something not quite human, her voice remained calm as she spoke to the two who were kneeling in front of her and had been praying with her. They too were overcome with the magic of the Rip, not moving away from her, not screaming as she broke their necks.

She then turned her attention to the four of them, calling them heathens as she neared. Her skin was pale, a stark contrast to the dark veins and her black eyes. Mary-Belle was terrified. The feeling only deepening when the bullet Spike shot at her did her no harm. Mary-Belle was pulled back and down some stairs until she moved on her own. Leo supported Billy again as they ran from the cold-hearted monster that had once been a loving person filling people’s hearts with warmth. Spike stopped to reload his rifle. Even if the bullet might not do damage, it might slow her down. But before he was able to target her, she grabbed the rifle out of his hand and threw it to the ground. Her hands gripped the front of his shirt and threw him into a corner. He didn’t move or make a sound, worrying his friends. Mary-Belle could just watch, frozen in place, as Billy attacked the monster. She flinched with every punch and kick he got before he too was thrown across the room. His body slid on the ground until his head bumped against the wall and he fell unconscious.

Her feet were frozen. No matter how much she willed them to move they wouldn’t. She stood there and watched as the monster came towards her. In the corner of her eye she still saw Leo trying to get between her and the monster before she felt her hands on her, felt a dull pain and everything went black.

She came back to when her body was shaken. Slowly opening her eyes while trying to ignore the searing pain behind them she saw Leo towering over her. The worry on his face changed into relief when her eyes found his. She groaned as she sat up, holding her pounding head. Leo helped her up, holding onto her arms tightly. “It’s over!”, he explained. “It’s over! Jessie must have closed the Rip!” She felt great relief as she clung onto Leo.

“Is Spike alright?”, she asked after pulling away from him.

“Am fine, love,” the boy called over having heard her ask the question. Her face lit up as she realized that he was indeed alright. She rushed over and gave him a hug as well, surprising him, but he didn’t complain. Near-death experiences did bring people closer together. Either way, she had always liked the charismatic boy. In her mind they were friends. In his, too. She just didn’t know.

“And you?”, she asked Billy who was sitting down again. The fight could not have been good for his broken leg.

“Not much worse than before,” he answered honestly. Apart from the throbbing in his head, his leg gave him the greatest pain, but it had done that before, too. She nodded at that. They were well and alive and the world wouldn’t end today. She looked around the cellar once more, noticing the absence of the Sister and the bodies. They must have already taken them out while she was unconscious.

“I should probably go, then,” she started, but was stopped by Billy.

“You should at least wait until Bea and Jessie come back and tell us what happened. You deserve to hear the story, too.” The other two boys agreed. It didn’t take much convincing to get her to stay a little longer. They sat in silence, much needed after everything that had happened. It was interrupted after a while by the door opening. Steps made their way down into the cellar. The two girls appeared, covered in dirt with sad looks on their faces that were replaced by happy and relieved ones at the sight of everyone being there.

Mary-Belle watched the way Leopold and Beatrice looked at each other as they got closer and enveloped each other in a hug. It was adoring, loving, in a way Leopold had never looked at her, but she understood now. Understood how she could never compare to Beatrice who was so adventurous and brave. More hugs were exchanged while Mary-Belle just sat there and watched on. There was a short moment Beatrice and her held eye-contact. The black-haired girl nodded at Mary-Belle as a sign of respect and as a thank you for keeping the promise she had made. She couldn’t justify not liking Beatrice anymore after today, but she didn’t know if that made it harder or easier to let go of her feelings for Leo.

She stayed seated as the girls found their own seats and the boys went back to theirs before they started telling what had transpired. Jessie filled them in about her mind battle with the Linen Man and together they told them about their mother who had appeared from the Rip. It was a heart-wrenching story. Mary-Belle’s eyes filled with tears that she didn’t want to let fall in front of the others but the story and the expression on the sisters’ faces made it hard. She admired them even more now. Having to make such a decision wasn’t an easy weight to bear and then having to live with it.

Soon after everyone filled the others in on what they had experienced the groups dispersed. Mary-Belle took that as her cue. There was just one more thing she needed to do before she left them. She walked over to Leo and Beatrice, hesitant to interrupt their conversation but doing it anyways to get it over with. “Excuse me,” she butted in, “Leo, can I talk with you outside for a moment?” His gaze fluttered over to Beatrice who agreed silently before the both of them climbed out of the cellar and onto the street that had already gone back to some sort of normalcy. People were bustling around, going after their business, others were in charge of picking up the dead bodies and cleaning up after them.

They came to stop a short way away from the cellar when Mary-Belle turned to face him. “What are you going to do now, Leo? Are you going to return to the palace? What is your plan?”

“I… would like to stay here. These are my friends and I belong here, not in the palace,” he announced.

She nodded, a sad smile on her face. “I understand, but I’m certain the Queen will have people looking for you when she notices that you are missing. You can’t stay away from your responsibilities forever.”

He let out a desperate sigh. “I know, but… I want to enjoy this time for as long as I can.” She nodded and squeezed his arm briefly before she watched him descend into the cellar again to live this life for a bit longer.

She turned to walk away, home, back to a life so unlike the one Leo chose to live, but she didn’t get very far before she was stopped by a hand hesitantly reaching out to her. Jessica stood there. She quickly retrieved her arm after gaining Mary-Belle’s attention. “We were actually going to get fish and chips later. You, um, you should eat with us. After all, you’ve helped us.”

“I didn’t really do anything actually. I was probably just in the way most of the time, but thank you. You guys should enjoy your evening by yourselves.”

She wanted to walk away again, but Jessica spoke up once more to stop her. “That’s not true! If anything, you got Billy out of jail! The others told me. You didn’t have to do that. You barely know us, but you did! Please, I would really like it if you would eat with us.”

In the end, Jessica had convinced Mary-Belle and when they were all sitting together that evening eating fish and chips she felt content and happy. Looking around at their smiling and laughing faces she could understand how Leo found his family in this group of people.

She caught the expression on Billy’s face when Leo and Beatrice walked past him to get up to the street. It was a sour one, full of jealousy. So, she walked over and sat down next to him. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”, she noticed quietly, following their retreating figures with her eyes until they disappeared outside and closed the door behind them.

Billy’s head whipped around to eye her suspiciously. “What would you know about it?”, he asked.

“Well.” She let out a sigh. “I’m in love with him,” she revealed, “so, I guess we’re in the same boat.” The two of them shared a mutual understanding that the people they loved, loved them too, but not in the same way.

“Should we do something about it, then?”, Billy asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“What are you thinking of?”, Mary-Belle asked with a smile, before Billy grabbed her face and pulled her close. His lips hovered over hers for a moment, enough time for her to pull away if she wanted too, and then he kissed her. A gasp sounded which pulled the two apart. As they looked over to the source of the sound, they found Spike staring at them, his hand dramatically on his chest which made them all laugh. Billy threw a chip at Spike to get him to stop with his antics. He had a carefree smile on his face again. Even as he looked over at Mary-Belle, which he used to do with such a dark gaze, it didn’t falter and maybe, she thought, she could find her place here as well.

#the irregulars #billy x oc #billy x female!oc #bea x leopold #unrequited love #leopold x female!oc #leopold x oc #angst #billy chisup #oneshot #fanfiction #fanfic #one shot

[guccifloralsuits]

girl.........when u gonna rec some cm fics??? help a sis out!!

These are all Moreid, Hotchreid or no main pairing so heads up lol. I don’t read self-insert. I’ll try to tag the tumblr author’s blogs i know but i’ll prob miss a few (srry) 

GENERAL WARNING: please read the tags & ratings bc some of these have multiple TWs. I’ll try to tag here but also CM has some...uh. dark content. Graphic depictions of violence & ya know, murder. So be safe & take care of yourself.

Completed Works/One-Shots:

You Reap What You Sow by BloodiedRose // One-Shot // 6k // Elle & Spencer friendship, morcia side-pairing // took me a sec to get into but holy FUCK

Elle Greenaway suddenly transfers to the D.C. department. She tries to keep her head down, but that's hard to do when she has to get used to a new city, adopts her traumatised coworker, and is being haunted by her own personal Graveling.

A Dead Like Me au (but no knowledge of the show is required).

The Ghosts That Should-Have-Been by Kibbers // Completed // 17k // Hotchreid // TW: Suicide Attempt // The writing on this is insane. Kinda abstract but in a way which just works. I actually cried reading this

Hotch said, “You’re keeping score, just like Owen.”

If Spencer had been keeping score, the world was winning. The rolled eyes, the disinterested gazes, the way they spoke to him only when they wanted something. Only when they wanted notebooks read at an inhuman rate or statistics they could use for the profile, for a bet, for the delight of having them at all. If Reid was keeping score, he had the right to do so if only to prove to himself that he deserved to feel a little hurt. He deserved to step in front of a bullet to save a kid that felt the same way he did.

an ice white candle, lit by Lilaciliraya // One-shot // 2.5k // Moreid // TW: implied childhood sexual abuse

He fails his gun qualification because the administrator is male this time and he stands just a little too close. He hates that he is 23 years old and he cannot stop the way his hands shake in the presence of an unlikely possibility.

(or) The hardest thing that Spencer Reid has ever had to do is learn how to stay warm.

Visiting Hours by Word_Clay // one-shot // 5k // no main pairing // TW: threats of rape, dissociation, homicidal ideation // prison-arc, so well written

Getting more and more intense. Got to fall deeper in to beat them. I’ve lost friends before, but not like this; not in a box where I have no control—or do I?Starting to think like them; starting to survive like them. I’m here because I made a choice.What if that means I don’t get out alive?

Indispensable by Deejaymil // Completed // 40k // Hotchreid // this fic wrecked me lol it’s fine im fine

Dave's a damn good guardian angel, one of the best. And being one of the best means he gets the worst jobs: the important, the clumsy, the reckless, the difficult-to-keep-alive. The indispensables. But he's never before quite had anyone like Spencer Reid.

Within the first two seconds of meeting his new charge, the kid gets hit by a car; it really only goes downhill from there. His only consolation is that Emily is having just as much trouble with her new charge, Aaron Hotchner.

If only they could somehow combine their assignments...

He’s All That by rchr // One-shot // no pairing // 6k // criminally underrated i’ve read it like 70 times // bonus for Morgan’s POV // Garcia being a queen

"One does not simply make over the good Dr. Reid. A true makeover is all about sowing the seeds."

Sunflowers and Daisies by Agib, starsandsupernovae // @ag-ib & @rxsienbloom  // Completed // 12.5k // Moreid // Penelope being a queen (again) // I’m always a bitch for a Hanahaki Disease AU and this one especially

Derek is, without question, unfailingly in love with Doctor Spencer Reid.

Blueberry Syrup by dilaudiddreams // @m0rcia // One-shot // 1.5k // Moreid // Fluffy af actually all comfort & barely any hurt //

"Listen, uh...do you think I could maybe...take you out...sometime?”

Spencer frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Snipe you. No. What do you think? To dinner or something.”

Spencer wakes up in Derek Morgan's bed. He tries to sneak out without waking him.

He fails, and he winds up staying for breakfast out of common courtesy (and maybe something else).

Set season 1. Tooth-rotting sweet.

Following a Bright Shiny Thing by travelinthedark // Hotchreid but genuinely the whole team’s dynamic is what shines in this // One-shot // 5k // yes it has a lot of kudos // yes it deserves all of them

Wherein Reid feels like 6th grade girl, the girls squeel from time to time, and there are little blue drinks. 

WIPS I’m Keeping Up With: 

Dreams are Only Blue by themetaphorgirl // @themetaphorgirl​ // Alex Blake & Spencer Reid // last update: first week of October // TW: child neglect

AU. Nine-year-old Spencer Reid is brilliant, but he's too young to fully grasp the trauma threatening to bury him. Alex Blake buried her nine-year-old son and accepted that she just wasn't meant to be a mother. The BAU team takes on a case that ends up throwing them together, and Spencer is sent to live with Alex and her husband, and everything changes.

(this is the Spencer Blake AU)

Where Have You Bean All My Life? By agib // @ag-ib // Moreid // last update: the end of September

It's rare enough that anyone on the team has to take on undercover work for more than a single night, and even more uncommon that the CIA happens to be splitting a case with the FBI.

So, really, Morgan shouldn't complain. But he does, and he's wholeheartedly dedicated to hating this assignment up until the damn college kid, who looks like he survives on coffee alone, bustles into the café.

Full Series I Rec:

Undercover Pretty Boy by 898700 (ghostwriter) // Completed // Moreid leaning? // Undercover CIA model AU which inspired the whump moreid 5k I have written & will maybe one of these days post (rippppppp) 

Ag-ib’s Whumptober // Ongoing // general TW bc dark themes for Whumptober

Appalachian’s Whumptober // @appalachianapologies​ // Ongoing // general TW bc dark themes for Whumptober

Happy reading!

ps: I actually wrote a moreid (Ex-CIA undercover model!Reid) one shot too if that’s something you’d be interested in!!

#criminal minds fic recs #criminal minds #spencer reid #cus they'll all centered around him i love annoying twinks sue me #cm fic recs #asks #when in doubt just go read whatever ag-ib writes lol #thanks for asking for this actually this gave me a reason to start compiling some favs #recs #fic recs #oc cm

[jiminrings]

cabin pressure

pairing: taehyung x y/n

glimpse: pilot!y/n who accidentally became famous bc of a viral post about her, best friend!jimin!, taehyung having a shy lil crush on you aND ot7 being meanies for a tad bit :((

wordcount: 17k

notes: this is my first bts fic im gonna post and for sentimentality’s sake, im paying homage to the bullet-point format™️ because this is the same thing i use for my reviewers and it’s v effective in making me focus and not lose interest!!! 

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

jimin really misses you :((

you’re his longtime friend!! someone who’s stuck with him even before he was famous!!

unlike tHose who suddenly appeared claiming that “aHHHHH jimin from bts aha actually we were friends even tho i have never spoke to him once hE’s actually asking me out and-“

and he loves u to death even the both of you fond each other annoying at times

like that one time he pretended he was sick with a bug just to get u out of your very important meeting just bECAUSE he wanted u to cook up a meal he missed

“hey why are u crying and also can you pls still cook why you’re crying”

“jimin i fucking hate you”

:((

and needless to say he really made up for it because he may have screwed up your job bc he wanted you to drop EVERYTHING to cook cheesy tonkatsu for him

so yes he really went up and above just to get you to forgive him

and u know what

jimin misses his best friend so much that he’s thinking of you in the middle of a meeting

and literally at the mention of bon voyage, the gears in his head start spinning!!!!

basically his thought process was:

bon voyage = abroad = y/n = oH DAMN OH RIGHT Y/N’S A PILOT = airplane whoosh = abroad = BON VOYAGE!!!!

“PD-nim!!!!!!”

“what”

and he’s really gonna make a leap for this because it’s given that him and the boys ride in private jets and first-class and all

literally everyone is looking at him now because his previous outburst of a call was surely attention-grabbing and it makes him shrink a bit because aha :D oops lol okay so what i was saying

“i-i was thinking uhm like since, abroad, right?? my friend y/n y/l/n is a pilot!! and the airline she-...”

“you know y/n y/l/n??” bang si-hyuk literally asks with his eyes wide and everyone could tell that it was the positive type of shock

wait

what

everyone in the room is like divided with some nodding and some clapping excitedly and some just with their mouths agape

and that confuses jimin because

“you know y/n??”

bang si-hyuk, ceo of big hit entertainment, his boss,,,, knows you, his childhood best friend-

and it’s not like jimin is territorial when it comes to his best friends and most esp you!!!! but yeah he realizes that he is now, especially because everyone in the room apparently knows you??? and he’s only ever introduced you to the boys???? briefly?? hope and jin have yet to meet you in person???

“how could we not?” jungkook interjects with a bunny smile on his face and everything is seriously confusing jimin rn because honestly

“do you like live under a rock” yoongi has the most confused face ever to jimin’s cluelessness, the situation being ironic because normally the hyung is slower when it comes to these type of things

“y/n went viral all over the news like last week!! up to now even” it’s no joke that namjoon knows everyone that his members know but for jimin to hear joon speak about you in THIS degree offends him

because wait he’s your closest friend he should know these things

he’d like u to know that he isn’t bitter :)

and his eyes go wide at that because oH GOD WHAT DID YOU DO

everyone agrees to what namjoon said, still a bit dumb-founded as taehyung practically yanks jimin’s chair to sit closer near his and almost shoves his phone to his face

it’s you

in your pilot uniform with your luggage at tow

sunglasses at the top of your head and phone on-hand

your id still worn around your neck and

oh

jimin basically deduced all of these things with a couple swipes:

a) ok you look ethereal in those pics

b) it was supposed to be a stolen picture of this dude but you were in the background and you cOMPLETELY stole the show

c) someone zoomed in on you and edited so now basically your ethereal being got even more magnified

d) someone zoomed in on your id (he got a lil bit mad at that)

e) aha the internet loves you

f) edits and i have thirty minutes i am free this saturday retweets and digging into your images in social media EVERYTHING!!! the whole nine yards!!!!

when you woke up to that frenzy though

you literally couldn’t function for five minutes and then you started catching up and digging in on what was happening

“but i don’t look ethereal!! my skin is dry n oily at the SAME time because of cabin air and my eyes are stinging!!! i look ghastly and only a little bit fresh because of the air u get when you’re 50,000 feet up in the air!! but im-...”

oh that’s it you went viral completely on accident

you were just waiting for the free service back home your airline offers it pilots, because you brought your car to work but you were too tired to drive back home

but now you are viral in the worldwide interwebs with articles and twitter threads about you and multiple multiple DMs that make your phone freeze and

wait did your airline just email you about that :D

oh lol did beyoncé just follow you :D

basically jimin got his brothers giving him a three-minute crash course each about what happened with their managers even stepping in to gush

he basically can’t believe that he didn’t know that!! even if you didn’t mention it to him, he should’ve known because it was practically everywhere!!!!

bang si-hyuk is well-pleased and even got jimin to tell how he knew you and what you were like and he was very much :O when he got into the word that aish!!! his employee has really been living under a rock lmao

by then, the conversation about bon voyage has been slightly derailed to talk about you

who knew that jimin simply mentioning your name (lol he didn’t need to because the conversation about you was nearing anyway) would land the meeting to

“oh! actually! the airline y/n works at reached a couple of weeks ago about a proposal to get bts to star in a commercial for them!!”

and now they’re hyped because yes they endorsed clothes and food and malls and establishments but never did they endorse an AIRLINE!!! a damn airline!!!!

okay so now not only did they tackle that you would pilot for them in bon voyage

“ah! you could like also play games on the way there with y/n!!”

“wHO WILL PILOT THE PLANE THEN??? we’re gonna crash!!!”

“you’re thick, jungkook, and not in the way you think so lmao”

“maybe we could extend their vacation! shoot a skit or two with them being flight attendants for run!! one week for shooting, two weeks for resting!! two birds with one stone, really”

an airline commercial

a couple run bts! episodes

a whole season of bon voyage (with a longer production because they have longer vacation days)

more traction for them

more time than he ever wished for to be with you!! :D

soon enough the meeting is finished and it went so good that the boys were gonna be treated to a beef dinner so

everyone’s scattered and dispersed, some making small talk w him about you that makes him smile

taehyung’s lingering behind him with his hands on his back

“what is it, tae?”

the younger boy is just giggling and fiddling with his hands, a careless shrug to his shoulders

“can i have y/n’s number :D”

...

...

“aish!! if jungkook were to ask for her number, you would’ve given it to him in a heartbeat because he’s the youngest!! and-...”

“ya!! thanks for reminding hyung! jimin-hyung may i also pls have y/n’s number :D”

...

...

...

jin had to drag jimin with him bc he wasn’t done shooting the both of them glares and his cheeks were practically pink with how annoyed he was at the younger two

needless to say taehyung and jungkook didn’t have any extra portions of beef from him

he is very protective of you and even if he’s become closer with his brothers more than he’s been close with you he jUST can’t help it!!

not that he doesn’t trust them or anything

not that he doesn’t trust you either

but he doesn’t want figurative blood on his figurative ledger because he feels that it would be his responsibility if ever yOu and someone became a thing and HE was the one who inteoduced you both :(

it’s not just a him thing :( he can’t put it into words but he’s just looking out for both parties!!!

kinda figured out that taehyung may or may not have a shy little crush on you

spoiler alert: it was HUGE

for their entire dinner, every single time your name was brought up, tae instinctively has his ears perk up at the mention

simultaneously he shrinks to his seat and purses his lips and looks around to what’s being said

why are u mentioning y/n’s name?? what is happening??

and taehyung having a serious case of sweater paws doesn’t help him from jimin’s observing gaze

and yes he feels a bit sorry because taehyung kinda looks a bit upset; that little “oh :((“ on his face when jimin snapped at him so quick

he’s not gonna force him to tho,, out of respect since someone else is involved (and in this case it’s you and your number)

jimin nudges him by the shoulder to get his attention

everyone’s passed out at this point because the beef was so damn good

tae kinda looks spaced out so he turns his head immediately and he forgot for a second that he was supposed to be cold with jimin

“what?”

“..... do you still want y/n’s number?”

taehyung almost fALLS out of his chair as he nods eagerly, making jimin shake his head to himself as he hesistantly takes out his phone from his pocket

oh god jimin’s phone is on his hand now oh god that’s your picture oh god that’s your number oH-

“i’m not gonna text her tonight if that’s you’re worried about?? i mean we barely know each other!! consider me asking for her number to be used for future references only :D”

“what does future references even mean?”

...

“... luggage. i want y/n’s luggage bag.”

...

“i also want y/n’s-...”

“BUTT OUT JUNGKOOK!! BUTT !! OUT !!”

when you open up your company’s email to you, you really can’t help but to feel nervous

today was your off-day and they specifically requested that you come to the main office at 10 AM sharp

and in your off-day, you aren’t even awake at that time of the morning!!

it wss both a blessing and a curse that you slept early the night before so your body clock just went “lol u wake up early today get up at 6”

and not to mention the fact that it was the same day you learned that you went viral last night when you were peacefully asleep

so the last few hours have been WILD and it kinda put you into shock

the closest you’ve ever been to fame was having your pictures leaked with jimin when you were still kids!!

if you were lucky enough, your face would be covered by every possible animal emoji that was ever released

apart from that, it was the occassional mention of your name in stan twitter and that was it

but THIS type of fame is on a whole another level!! higher than being tagged as jimin’s best friend outside of bts!! higher than having your face covered with animal emojis

when you thought that you were gonna be fired over being viral for some reason unbeknownst —

even if you know that you haven’t violated anything and if anything, you were the one who got violated because someone uploaded a picture of you without your consent!!!

so when you learn that they aren’t mad at all and ecstatic in fact

because your airline basically got free publicity and promotion just because you looked so good in pictures that weren’t even intentional

and that there is a more than noticeable spike in the bookings of flights

and that people were cALLING to ask if you would be the one to pilot that flight

AND RIVAL AIRLINES WERE CALLING IN TO ASK WHEN YOUR CONTRACT WOULD EXPIRE

and that said rival airlines were pitching in salaries that competed with your paycheck now aND THAT THEY WERE EVEN higher

needless to say that your day was more than eventful

you don’t know how to cope up with it either so while the meeting drags on to talk about your newfound fame you’re just :O the entire time

“i believe that park jimin from bts is a close friend of yours, correct?”

wAIT what

you shouldn’t be shocked by now because practically everyone’s familiar with him and the rest of the boys

but it still takes you off-guard because as much as he is your friend

and as much you admit that you miss jimin :(

or that you haven’t talked to him as much these past few days

you genuinely don’t see the connection of why jimin would be brought up into this conversation that doesn’t involve him in the first place

there’s a self-pitying realization in between that it seems like your only determining factor these days was to be known as a best friend of a kpop idol and nothing else

:(

that’s a sad topic you’d rather not delve in at the moment

:(

“prior to you being catapulted into fame suddenly — we reached out to their company for them to become our endorsers. a commercial and a billboard and some other things.”

“and this is just the pERFECT timing because you’re famous now and people love you!!!”

this was it

the stars were aligning for you

not only do you get to hang out with jimin, but now you’re launched into much more job opportunities!!

when the meeting concluded, you narrow it down to the conclusions that:

a) you’re most likely to film a commercial and some adverts and perhaps be included in a billboard with them (their company has yet to confirm within the week but your ceo ji-eun is damn sure at this point or else she will flip

b) you’re now getting an agent :D because apparently offers have been waiting for you left and right and they already got you one before you even said “yeah sure i guess???”

c) you’re getting a RAISE

d) sooner or later you’re gonna do this photoshoot so your own company could post about you this time

e) interviews. you’re gonna be asked to chat your heart out intentionally. i n t e r v i e w s

and it’s a humbling moment for sure because it’s like 

oh. you didn’t mean for this to happen but it’s here now and you can make the most of this while it’s still here!! you get to do what you love and be with the people you love and basically get paid for it!!

oh is this what jimin feels like all the time then??

maybe you should apply as the 8th member of bts

it’s during an intentionally cold night in your apartment that your phone basically vibrates itself off the table

right when you were still in the bathroom taking your time because you were getting PR!! and the mask you just put on happens to be something you’ve been curious about but it was too expensive for you to be curious about lol

also: curiosity that leads you to buy either new skincare products or makeup are either a godsend or a godforsaken situation because 6 out of 10 times you do that, you breakout!!! 

the sound of something clattering to the ground immediately makes you scramble towards your living room, phone flipped over to see jimin up close, eyes even in a picture enough to intimidate you for not answering immediately

“Y/N!!!”

“JIMIN!!!”

the both of you put each other on speaker mode because while you didn’t want to risk ruining your mask, the rest of the boys wanna listen in

the entire phone call was so intense because even in speaker mode you were still yelling at each other

and it was spent with so much enthusiasm on trying to catch up with the past days and jimin apologizing profusely because he’s been living under a rock

“i can’t believe it!! I CAN FINALLY RIDE IN ON A FLIGHT YOU’RE GONNA PILOT”

what

wait

“... jimin what do you mean”

because as far as you knew, the airline commercial would be done with a green screen to ensure that it’s of the best quality

not a gopro type of thing because ur flight attendants would yell real-time to the camera crew and the boys when they try to do something and the seatbelt sign is still on!!!

“wait jimin i think y/n wasn’t supposed to know that yet”

you hear a voice in the background and it’s very much familiar and it’s now hitting you that there’s an audience for your entire call

“namjoon, is that you???”

“Y/N IT’S ME!!! NAMJOON!! OMG”

and then you hear this scuffle over the line and a very slight commotion

it’s jimin holding his phone away with his arm and the other fending off namjoon while hobi scrambles to steal it back

jin is helplessly saying hello to you in the background while jungkook is hopping around going all “miss y/n i am a fan of you!!!”

taehyung is going all sweater paws again while yoongi is desperately trying to shut them up because he’s still listening into yours and jimin’s conversation and he’s genuinely engrossed ok

and now everyone’s calm and collected especially since jimin gives them a death glare each and nobody admits but angry jimin scares the shit out of them

he’s back to being soft-spoken now because he realizes that he may have slipped in saying information he probably shouldn’t have yet, a sheepish scratch at the back of his head

“uhm well you see you’re gonna fly us over for bon voyage and uhm kinda stick around for some pieces here and there?? uhm that’s from what i know hehe”

right now you’re just blanking out and staring into the distance and you’ve suddenly gone awfully quiet

yoongi’s on the background like “yo i think you just broke her”

“is y/n’s cell broken? i’m gonna get her a new one”

“is she okay?? wHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER???”

“jimin-hyung you said y/n sometimes forgets to lock her door right??”

it’s once again another frenzy and once you realize that you’ve blanked out, you immediately shush them and they miraculously do

it’s a feeling of being overwhelmed and disbelief because this is more than you’ve ever asked for

to think that just last week you were tired and was about to pull off an AWOL because your off-day couldn’t have come nearer

“i certainly didn’t know that”

and there’s a nervous chuckle and a nervous silence that encompasses and for a moment, jimin frowns because he thinks that this is all too much for you and you’re gonna turn down the offer even before it’s gonna be officially pitched to you at a meeting tomorrow (you have yet to know that there’s gonna be another meeting tomorrow)

“oh my god i get to be with the lot of you!!!”

one excited shriek from you and that’s all it takes for hell to break loose

“JIMIN I MISSED YOU SO MUCH I CAN’T WAIT TO WHACK YOUR HEAD AGAIN”

“i can fINALLY meet jin and hope!!”

“where’s namjoon?? this old lady from one of my flights own a stall at the airport and she’s afraid of riding in airplanes! and i was apparently so good and she wasn’t scared and that she waited for me outside the cockpit! she gave me a written note saying that i could come to her stall anytime and the bOOKS I’M GONNA CHOOSE WILL BE FREE OF CHARGE EVERY SINGLE TIME”

“yoongi if you’re hearing this; i heard kyle kuzma’s gonna fly first class next week and i fly that same aircraft do u want me to ask for an autograph”

“we have a boatload of dog treats we give for lil ones we have onboard so they stay behaved!! taehyung can have them for yeontan”

“tell jungkook that he can finally have my walkie-talkie he’s been bugging me about!! i have a new one anyway”

it’s official

they love you

they are practically swooning right now and are mad at jimin because wHY DIDN’T YOU LET US KNOW Y/N SOONER 

they only met you a couple times in the past and hobi and jin are jealous because atleast they got to meet you :((

and all of them are willing to take a splinter for you no doubt 

everyone goes to sleep that night all warm and fuzzy and content

not to mention taehyung being so giddy about what you said

not only did you think of him you also thought about yeontan aNd you haven’t even met the little devil yet!!

and he isn’t the only one who thinks of this but

there’s just something about you that is so warm and so genuine

like you could be as introverted as yoongi and be as much of a team player and and extrovert as taehyung is when needed be

but the point is that there’s always something about you for everyone that makes them gravitated towards you

of course jimin explains this to you and you basically shut him off

“aish don’t put me in a pedestal because i swear that i’m not that special”

“why won’t you believe me??”

“because it isn’t true now eat your cereal jimin i will pinch you thru the screen”

the meeting comes soon enough and you have to pretend that this was your first time hearing this bit of information

the pilot you were helping learn the ropes, hyunjin, will take over your normal workload for the meantime!!

in less than one week’s time, you have to pack your bags for three-ish weeks!! because as from what you can tell, things are gonna be a bit more hectic for you because you’re not only gonna fly planes

for a run episode, the boys are gonna be your flight attendants in a mock flight with the passengers as staff members

but the plane being in the air and them wearing flight attendant uniforms will be very much real

and then another episode to be squeezed in with them trying out flight simulators and quizzed with aviation facts 

and whether u did the best or the worst with the two-part episode

they’re still gonna go skydiving :)

they’re really milking out the sky motif but ok it wasn’t your show anyway and you were just gonna guest so they can go off by all means

after all that work, you’re gonna fly them off again but it’s for bon voyage this time!!

they basically res for two-ish weeks and you can tag along behind the scenes because i mean like you’re flying them home too so might as well

get some clips in between to be used for the commercial

and said commercial would be shot a few days after you all get back from said vacation!!

that’s it narrowed down and as you were taking notes, you can’t help but to feel very excited and nervous at the same time

a few days pass and it’s finally time!! yeah sure run episode but JIMIN AND THE BOYS CAN FINALLY SEE YOU NOW

you were supposed to reunite in the aircraft itself but jimin is an impatient baby which is why he’s called you insistently to say some excuse of “you have to go back to the empty boarding gate u need to meet your camera director”

lol but in truth you really don’t need to and where they are now is what you need to pass to get to said boarding gate

so when jimin sees you by the jet bridge they were all at, he sprints

like actually SPRINTS to get to you 

and he attacks you with a massive bear hug and sprinkles you with noisy cheek kisses

“Y/N *kiss* I *kiss* MISSED *kiss* YOU *kiss* SO *kiss* MUCH *kiss*”

no lie you really did miss him too

and once you get him to calm down because he was crushing your bones and you return his cheek kisses

the boys are all just looking at the scene in front of them with awe

jungkook’s looking at namjoon with his eyes saying “lol imma do that too” and namjoon’s staring back going “NO”

taehyung’s extra pouty right now

he didn’t conisder the fact that maybe you and jimin were an unspoken thing and that his crush on you is now something he shouldn’t hold onto

he got discouraged very quickly

hobi is waddling to you at full-speed and goes for a hug which is wild move for someone who he’s just met (but u don’t mind)

“you’re adorable your uniform is so cute omg”

jin goes in for a hug too and you say something along the lines of “i could see the handsomeness they were talking about” and he goes absolutely rED

he’s laughing uncontrollably like a seal 

namjoon was about to go in for a hug but then he sees your wrist and-

“iS THAT A KAWS WATCH???”

“OH MY GOD YOU NOTICED???”

“HOW COULDN’T I? THAT’S LIKE LIMITED EDITION HOW DID YOU GET IT”

“I HAVE A FRIEND THAT’S A COLLECTOR HE GIFTED IT TO ME I CAN GET YOU CONNECTED TOO”

you are now being wrapped with namjoon’s long arms 

he doesn’t seem to be letting go of you soon

yoongi just has his arms wide and his eyes in a faux irritated manner

“what are you looking at”

and then his gummy smile appears when you just cave into his hug and jin is like??? “aH! y/n’s power is unparalleled”

jungkook immediately goes in for an embrace and even twirls you around

“ooh!! you have more piercings now than the last time i saw you!”

“i can pierce ears now!!”

“jungkook can you really”

“lmao no”

and now that it seems like hugging is the new norm, and taehyung being the last in line for you to greet, that kinda burns your nerves becauseif you were to “admit, you may or may not have a little crush on taehyung ever since the first time jimin introduced the both of you to each other

so you do the sensible thing and don’t think about it

no thoughts head empty head first

“tae!!!”

“aha y/n :D”

you hug him and well

taehyung blanked at that and panicked internally

the stark difference of your enthusiasm and his timid response was cringeworthy and it makes you screw your eyes shut as you hug him

but the moment tae realizes this, he holds on as you were trying to let go of him as qUICK as possible because it was too awkward for you to bear

and a little crushing if you were being honest

taehyung now takes first place for wanting to be reincarnated as a rock in the next life

after yoongi seeing that interaction he was just like ᵒᵒᶠ

before it goes anymore awkward though and tae starts squawking, jimin thankfully whisks you away 

“you look so badass in your uniform will u let me wear it”

“let me wear your hoops and i’ll let u borrow”

“lol forget that i even asked”

no matter what, jimin doesn’t let you borrow his earrings!!

like even if the boys borrow some from him time to time

he absolutely does not let you borrow and when you ask why, he just rolls his eyes and smacks his lips and goes N-O

and then eventually he has to shoo you out because they have to film the intro at the jet bridge and you’re not supposed to be there really

jungkook excitedly squeezes you again and goes “see you later!!”

jeon jungkook knows what he’s doing

so right before the cameras start rolling, he’s just staring at the side of taehyung’s face in close proximity with a teasing smile on his face and then wiggles his eyebrows in the slightest when tae finally returns his stare with a knowing glare

“what was that awhile ago, hyung?”

“one more word out of ur mouth and i’m ratting you out to-...”

“i was just kidding hehe don’t rat me out to namjoon that i accidentally stained his precious table hehe pls”

and he blinks at that and is taken aback

because that was supposed to be an empty threat

and now that jungkook realizes he’s fallen smack-dab into the trap, he now wants to ignite himself

taehyung now has blackmail material :D

jungkook is now held captive by said blackmail material :D

they eventually get done with their intro and into the aircraft itself!! jimin is the one to introduce you and throughout the whole ordeal they’re just hyped-up bc it’s the first time they get to do this type of episode

and they’re doing it with you so that’s a plus

and they get changed into their custom flight attendant attire

snug pink get-up with a silk navy blue scarf tied around as the uniform’s collar 

and golden nameplates engraved with their names on it

and AIR BANGTAN embroidered into the breast pocket!!

they looked absolutely good

your work would be lighter if only they were your actual flight attendants

you’d work every single day

even though they could be tiresome at times bc they could be all over the place

taehyung was admittedly swooning the whole time

the production staff made you alter your speech a bit so you could insert air bangtan and introduce all seven of them individually for the skit

and then everyone’s briefed with what they have to do and how safety should be the no. 1 priority

and then it’s takeoff time!!!!

jimin is really really proud of you

he takes advantage of this as his bragging rights

“aha that’s my best friend who’s flying the plane we are in right now :)”

“lol i love y/n i was best friends with her first :)”

“best take-off ever in your life amirite :)”

“i’m friends with a pilot in case you didn’t know :) no big deal”

“technically that’s captain jimin to you too now :)”

it was a fun and a chaotic episode

a bit unsafe? yes

but then the icing at the top was taehyung swooning at everything you did and cussing at himself every time he remembers how he screwed up earlier

he is the most behaved person in this flight and he wants you to know that :((

yoongi’s mercilessly teasing him

“y/n’s gonna come out to do her landing speech soon; you should pretend reading the safety manual now”

“somebody give taehyung a barf bag and a pen he’s gonna ask for an autograph from y/n”

“ey jimin do they sell y/n’s perfume in this flight?? someone just wants to ask”

the episode wraps soon enough but not without jimin rowding everyone to CLAP FOR THE PILOT WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE MY BEST FRIEND AHA EVERYTHING WAS SO SMOOTH SO COMFY QUICK TAKE A PICTURE OF ME N MY PILOT BEST FRIEND :D

and there’s just this innate feeling everyone feels every once in a while

that everything feels so right and so complete

it’s like complete nirvana

and before you know it, bon voyage is already happening

a vacation with seven best friends (jimin insists that he has the superlative best when you’re talking about them as friends) 

(and maybe one of them you don’t see as a best friend and perhaps something more and that person really doesn’t show much enthusiasm for you as you do for him)

(it’s taehyung)

and it’s not like taehyung isn’t fond of you

in fact, he very much is!! believe him!!

it’s just that he’s paralyzed over his crush on you and the fact that he sees you often because of these circumstances and he can’t believe it

too paralyzed over the fact that he might and may have already made a fool out of himself

and that he’s afraid to make moves on you with the boys here because jESUS CHRIST

he knows he would be teased mercilessly or he would be teased mercilessly while they help him out but they would never let him live this down

and jimin

oh god jimin

because as much as jimin loves him, he knows that one wrong move on you and he knows he’s gonna yeet him to the han river

he doesn’t know either what would be jimin’s reaction if he knew of his crush on you!! will he flip? will he be happy? wILL HE FORBID HIM FROM SEEING YOU EVER AGAIN????

at times he could be very overbearing

and he admits that

but all for good cause as he tries to explain

oh and jungkook

damn jungkook

he’s caught on pretty quickly about tae’s crush on you

and kook likes you but not in the way tae likes you

it’s just a fuzzy, warm, and platonic type of like like what the other boys have for you

but with fLIRTINESS

jimin’s the same but it was natural since you’ve been friends for absolutely ages

jungkook’s however was very fresh and very aBRUPT

it’s him trying to get a rise from taehyung and urging him to just make a damn move on you

he hopes that his flirtiness with you would just intimidate his hyung to the point that “open your eyes!!! oh what am i doing?? don’t you feel that i’m trying to steal y/n away from you?? MAKE A MOVE!!” gets across

taehyung has yet to realize that though

bon voyage doesn’t really include you (as you also try to remove yourself out of the picture as much as possible)

the cameras aren’t always turned on and not all hours of the day are spent on filming

so they can still get to do things and activities without staff members flooding the house!!

the house you’re all staying at is a gigantic one

so it got divided into two wings and you can even close it off!!

one wing solely for the boys and the other for you and the production staff

you were at their wing more often than you are in yours though

and during these past few days that turned into weeks, you’ve been closer to them more than you could imagine

they were easy to get around with!! them knowing that jimin knows you is a plus factor if you think about it

and even if not for that fact, they still think not much would’ve changed in your present friendship dynamic right now

it was comforting to be with them, really

the other way around!!

and you could also hang out with them either individually or as a group and it wouldn’t be awkward!!

.. taehyung may or may not be a slight issue though

you honestly think that he hates you :(

and you’re trying to backtrack your actions to see if you may have done something to him

you always try to keep up with his energy

jungkook was fooling around with a drone and trying to experiment flying it

and then he suddenly had this idea of “tae do you think you could outrun my drone”

and kook’s whipping his head around for you as if in a silent question to ask “wait is that possible”

and you’re just over there narrowing your eyes like “jungkook just because i’m a pilot,,,,, it doesn’t mean i know every flying object in the air and how to operate it,,,,,”

...

“but y/n can you outrun my drone tho”

it’s the sudden challenge that takes you aback and makes your eyebrow raise

and then it’s become a cHALLENGE

taehyung’s competitiveness making him forget that you’re even there and that he’s not acting all conscious

so it’s literally all fun and laughter

and the both of you may or may not be so caught up into this stupid challenge you stupidly both participated to

you’re not even sure if there was a rEWARD for this

so stupidly caught up to the point that jungkook’s already led the both of you to the beach that you were overlooking from the house you all stayed at

(jungkook’s running with the drone and that completely destroys the purpose of the drone but he’s having fun too ok)

before you knew it, both you and tae are crashing full-speed into the beach and it takes a collective second for you to realize that you both were indeed wet when you’re hip-deep into the water

and it sends another burst of laughter and you’re just looking at him helplessly and out of breath

“oh my god i didn’t even-...”

it hits taehyung now that he’s having full-on eye contact with you on what the fuck is he doing

he just immediately tenses and all the alarms in his head are going off

‘hahahaha yes :)”

and there it is again

that noticeable shift in the air that makes your mouth dry at what could you have possibly done

he’s quick on walking himself out of the water, quite literally leaving you there

jungkook’s by the shoreline laughing himself to death and sees taehyung waddling himself out

“hYUNG OMG YOU DIDN’T EVEN-...”

ok what was that

what the fuck was that

he only gets a blank laugh in return and it’s a dampener for his mood right now

and it only sinks in now that why is taehyung returning by himself

“y/n did you drown????”

no you didn’t drown

but the idea did seem enticing because you felt so embarrassed and down with what just happened

so right now jungkook just has his arm around your shoulders as he’s trying to figure everything out

“did i -- did i do something wrong?”

and even if the context isn’t clear. he immediately says no

the both of you are just walking back to the house while the sun sets and he still isn’t sure of what happened but he knows that it’s enough to make you sad and most probably has something to do with taehyung

he just wants to cheer you up :(

so mid-way he kinda picks you up wordlessly and you don’t fight him about it

you’re completely drained of your energy both physically and emotionally

you melt into jungkook’s grasp on you as your way of thanks and he acknowledges it with a squeeze on your arm

by the time you get back, everyone’s just doing their own thing because it’s nearing dinner

kook kinda plops you into the couch yoongi’s sitting on

his eyes question that something’s kinda off but he doesn’t question it

and you just crawl the short distance so that you’re laying on his lap and be sad in peace there

all he does it just past your head once and that’s it

and he’s just watching a replay of a basketall game because he hasn’t had time to catch up with those championship games (even if he knows who won and who lost)

and out of the blue yoongi just hears you softly pipe in

“my ex is a professional basketball player”

“wHO’S YOUR EX WHAT KIND OF PROFESSIONAL ARE-...”

and you shush him bc you don’t want anybody else to know

“omg jimin doesn’t know this?? and i’m like the first one to know?”

“yes”

oh and he kinda huddles because after all, this is a secret and it does have something to do with basketball

“professional as in he played in this show you’re watching rn”

“is he in this game????”

“lol no from what i know, he got injured even before championship but yeah his team’s playing right now”

“what’s his name???”

“theo. i call him theo”

and then that name sounds awfully familiar and he’s specifically requesting to see what he looked like and even tries to get hobi to look for your phone

but your pictures with him are all deleted now so you just make yoongi search up his name and he’s like :O

“....... why did you break up then..,,.,”

and then you just gently explain that it was a mutual decision and that both your jobs were demanding

so yeah it was impossible to happen

and yoongi forgot that fifteen minutes ago, jungkook just plopped you here because you wanted to lie down and were too sad to function

and he made you retell what happened to you and your ex that only he knows about

so he feels a little guilty

“you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to :(”

and you just wave him off that catches him off-guard

“nah it’s all okay :)”

man were u selfless

yoongi now loves you more

jin and namjoon finish dinner soon enough and everybody goes down to eat

even taehyung who’s with jimin

and it doesn’t even look like something’s wrong

but jimin’s counting all the heads in the room and was like ‘wAit where’s y/n???”

he sees you getting yourself out from lying in yoongi’s lap and he’s there with you in a heartbeat cooing at you

“y/n baby what happened”

and you’re back to lying down again but this time it’s jimin pushing you to lie on his shoulder as he’s stroking your hair

you said “nothing”, you know...,,., like a liar

jimin throws yoongi a questioning look and the older boy just shrugs his shoulders because he doesn’t know either

taehyung’s abandoned at the edge of the stairs

and you were about to scoff but that obviously doesn’t hurt as much when he abandoned you hip-deep into the water

“mhmmm i see :D”

jimin most definitely knows you’re lying but he doesn’t want to prod into it because it’s obvious that you weren’t in the mood to be questioned

at this point he’s just trying to cheer you up but in the same time give you sustenance

he’s literally feeding you right now

jin cooked up a lot of box mac n’ cheese (he transferred it into actual bowls) from the conveniece store and you know what

he wanted to try it out

it is not the healthiest thing in the world but atleast it’s somehow foreign right???? 

as much as jimin loves you, he does want to eat though

so he asked jungkook to get him a big-ass bowl with a portion big enough for the both of you and he did just that 

but you aren’t that much cooperative because you’re not eating that much and jimin is really really enticed with the smell of the food rn and jungkook senses that

“i’ll feed her, hyung!! go get another spoon for you or something”

he is really thankful for that so he just pushes the bowl to kook and scrambles for a utensil and perhaps even his own bowl

jungkook’s feeding you now and without jimin sending you a questioning glance every two seconds, you’re more cooperative 

taehyung is sitting by the far corner of the couch parallel to yours and he is CLENCHING

and he’s groaning to his mac n’ cheese and namjoon is ??? why are you like this ???

“good. it tastes so good.”

he nods but he’s still sending tae a questioning look

you eventually gained the appetite to eat

but jungkook was in charge of the dishes tonight and he doesn’t want to wash one more spoon so he insisted that you just share one instead

taehyung is gonna COMBUST

he is now practically yelling into his mac n’ cheese

everyone is now ??? at him and he makes a show of just shoving the bits of pasta to his mouth

“jin-hyung :) namhoon-hyung :) this is so delicious :) how did you do this :)”

“...... taehyung that’s instant,,,, boiled water and the cheese powder...,.,”

“aHA so that’s why :)”

his actions are v fishy and v funny 

but deep down he is boiling angry and frustrated both at himself and a jungkook

kook is giggling to the bowl right now that you had to pry it away from him

you’re not even LOOKING at taehyung’s direction

usually you did

but your will to treat him like how he treats you is stronger

that’s it that’s gonna be the rest of the trip

if there’s any personality trait you’re gonna pick up from jimin from having been his friend for so long

it would be the stubbornness

you avoid taehyung like the flu

AND HE NOTICES THAT

AND THE BOYS ARE STARTING TO NOTICE IT TOO

jimin is the one most on-guard about that 

and he is whispering to everyone except taehyung 

“if you see something that relates to y/n and taehyung tell me ok tELL ME!!!”

and even tae feels sad about it to the point that he’s trying to make a conscious effort in making conversation with you

when you’re on the floor with your laptop turned on and they’re surrounding you trying to help you out with your emails

emails that don’t relate to aviation work and more-on to the viral side of things such as designer !!! brands !!! reaching out to you personally instead of your agent!!!

“mhmm they have really good shoes. what’s your favorite color anyway?”

and he says that in the midst of voices overlapping bUt the boys realized that taehyung gave input into the conversation and wAS LIKe wait wait tae’s speaking shut up shut up

but jimin answers for you in a heartbeat and hobi pinches his arm and he was laughing suddenly

he’s looking around trying to say something with eyes

“lol i’m sorry did i ruin his move on y/n”

and his subconscious-

“WAIT WHAT TAEHYUNG IS MAKING MOVES ON Y/N???”

it takes all four of his hyungs to plead him to shut up with their glares and don’t make this anymore awkward as tae wants to be swallowed wholly by the ground

your resolute will doesn’t crumble until jimin makes it his ultimate mission to find a drink that’s gonna sink you

because your alcohol tolerance was brought up again when they were talking about buying drinks

and jimin tells the story of how you outdrank him one night and didn’t wake up with a deadlier hangover than he did aNd he was still curious to how you did it

you don’t know either but you’re as interested as them in finding a drink that’s gonna sink you

hobi’s random pick in the grocery store did JUST that

you finally sunk

you finally got as drunk as jimin’s level

as in a shit-faced type and not just a happy buzz you usually felt

you and jin have been laughing without end for five minutes now

no one even joked

you just made eye contact with each other and you both immediately started to wheeze 

he was starting to get so red he looked borderline pURPLE if you were still seeing clearly

yoongi was laughing by seeing the two of you laugh because it was starting to get contagious at the point 

by now namjoon’s back was being slapped carelessly by yoongi who’s pleased with himself

taehyung has a grin on his face because you were so adorable

as if his cheeks weren’t warm enough just by seeing you so happy and bubbly

and the heat in his chest isn’t just because of the alcohol nor the warmth his sweater provided

maybe this isn’t a little crush anymore :((

while he’s ignoring that possibility, everyone else is considering it

everyone besides you :((

jimin’s on his feet at the moment because oh my god it’s happening!!!

good news because you’re drunk out of your mind

and bad news that you’re drunk out of your mind

so he’s tending to you with a glass of water and you won’t drink it

he’s trying harder this time by putting the glass to your lips but you were flailing around so much by laughing that it spilled some to you and jimin himself

he’s now looking for a straw

this one’s for boba but he has to settle for this now

and he’s trying to coax you into drinking it

hE’S EVEN USING A VOICE HE USES FOR BABIES

“but water tastes like nothing :((”

“which is exactly what you need”

“but i want it to taste like something”

he’s about to groan but then he sees your eyes glossing 

and oh god did he hear a whimper

“y/N BABY DON’T CRY OK OK WHAT DO YOU WANT????”

he’s now looking for an ice cold chocolate drink that isn’t overly sweet

namjoon has made it his personal decision to follow jimin around

and with his twofold clumsiness at this state, yoongi follows him but not without holding on to the back of jooni’s shirt so he could be slid around

jin stands up and follows them but he’s not sure why

“why are you all -- this is NOT a conga line!!!”

hobi’s staring into the distance turned into snoring

taehyung isn’t all that drunk

but you, on the other hand, are very much drunk

tae’s not sure to why you’re approaching him

maybe it’s because the hoodie he’s wearing now is jungkook’s

maybe it’s because jimin’s scent is on his hair from having borrowed his shampoo

maybe it’s because you’re drunk and your first thought is him even if drunk

but all his thoughts fly out the door when you’re squeezing yourself into the couch he’s lying on at the very moment

one that’s too small for the two of you and that he had to grab you split-second because you were about to fall out of the couch so hard if not for his strong grip that holds you

“y/n.”

taehyung’s not sure either to what his tone contained

whether it was for warning or for reprimanding, literally all his thoughts are crushed once again the moment you speak

“you’re voice is very deep.”

he’s not sure if you know this either but you were unconsciously cuddling up to his side, filling in the gap at the couch that just made you barely fit

you’re

cuddling

him

“a-and it’s very calming.”

he’s not sure to why but the moment you put your hand on his chest because you were basically almost lying on top of him

his first instinct was to put his hand on the small of your back

and the moment and the feelings were so warm that fuck this isn’t the alcohol anymore

nor the sweater

so warm to the point that the both of you don’t notice jimin’s :O and everyone else’s :D

because the make-shift conga line has arrived right in front of where you are and hobi just woke up

and right when everything feels surreal 

taehyung watches a split-second decision happen right in your eyes

you just kissed the tip of his nose

:’)

taehyung thinks he’s gonna ascend to heaven

it’s the softest moment ever because you pull away trying to gauge his reaction

he’s all red with his bottom lip in between his teeth and oh my god his eyes are so expressive

jimin steps in tho

and he clears his throat and taehyung iS SUDDENLY BACK TO EARTH

oh my god oh my god that just happened oh my god

this is a bit more scary and intimidating now

because jimin doesn’t look neither thrilled nor angry

he looks neutral

neutral blank-faced on the verge of who knows what jimin is the most frightening jimin

“hey baby here’s your chocolate drink you asked for :)”

and with just a head rub you immediately come to your senses and are already making grabby hands to the cold mug (with a straw!!) and you’re scrambling to stand up and jimin’s helping you to stay stable because you’re attached to him now

taehyung is now looking at his hands as if they were the most entertaining things in the world “wow look at my rings i have never seen them before so shiny so silver”

and he knows jimin can see right through him

jimin has the tiniest hands out of all of them while he has the largest

and u know what

he could be still strangled with those same hands 

and u know what too

maybe he’ll accept that wrath because he kinda deserves it  

he’s sent a brief look that’s enough to let him know that the both of them will talk

that taehyung shouldn’t leave this couch

nor leave this house

nor this country

you know what maybe tae better start timing his record on how long he can go without breathing

he can do that for a minute and a half underwater

soon enough jimin finally tucks you in with not much protest

much force from him tho but much more apologies and coos when he apologizes and you do as asked

got to make u brush your teeth and change into a fresh set of pajamas

he has to trick you into “seokjin would be mad at u when he learns that you went to sleep with dirty clothes on”

and him being the good friend that he is

since he also achieved of getting to sink you with a drink

he’s gonna go the extra mile

went so far as to wipe you with a wet towel and dry you off since you didn’t want to shower and he’s afraid ur probably gonna fall asleep not even midway

he even does your skincare routine for you

you kept giggling when he was patting your face so he did it more but now you were in the verge of tearing because in your drunk state you tHOught he was slapping you over and over again with both palms at the same time

and after all that

jimin finally gets around with taehyung on the couch and the younger boy just immediately straightens his posture

...

“...,.,., so you and y/n.,.”

there are literally no words in his mouth

“aha yes me and y/n :D”

and it’s a habit of tae’s to be incoherent whenever he’s flustered

that kinda doesn’t help his case because jimin needs ALL of his brainpower and coherence

“what are your intentions?”

“uhm i uhm aha :D great pilot. no jet lag.”

he’s nodding even there isn’t something to nod at

god he didn’t even drink much but he feels just as floaty and as spent

“calm down, taehyung.”

he SOBERS at that

jimin even pats at his knee to try and ground him

“y-you’re not mad at me??”

“lol i kinda am to be honest”

:(

“but i’m only mad because you treated her from the start as if you didn’t like her!!”

“but hyung you knOw it’s hard and -- wait was it really obvious??”

“there’s a difference between being shy AND being an insensitive ass that leaves the room whenever she enters!!!”

“but-...”

“and i know that people cope with things differently but your mechanism with your little crush on y/n was just kinda off for her, y’know? like this is the time she genuinely gets to know you and not just a five-second introduction by me!! and it’s just kinda a ballsy move because she just got to know you in this level and you’re acting like an ass and she doesn’t know why!!”

“ok but-...”

“and ok the boys and i aren’t mad that you kept from us because it was pretty obvious but i mEAN like you could have just went to us, ya know?? even if some would give poor advice, it’s the thought that counts!!”

“jimin-...”

“oH also what if y/n fell for jungkook instead of you, huh??? he has balls and he doesn’t even like her in that way!!”

this effectively shuts tae up because he hasn’t really considered that possibility

and it’s a dunk at sobering reality that each one of these days he let pass could have been the moment but it was just him hindering himself

because he is a shy boi for you and the crippling fear of rejection just always paralyzes him

aND NOW THAT TONIGHT HAPPENED!!!

with his nose still tingling and his cheeks still flushed because of that kiss

with somehow permission from jimin

with you in the picture now and everything in place

taehyung really can’t help but pout adorably and cry up tears of happiness a bit

jimin hugs him for that with a pat on his back

they both know though that even without any verbal warning that jimin will give taehyung hell if ever he breaks your heart

tae kinda pales at the realization because it may be a conflict of interest

and jimin would be like

lol :) why would you be afraid of me when you have no intention of hurting her :) 

tae SWEARS he could hear jimin in his head and he was about to reply but he realizes that he’s just a little bit worried and much more overwhelmed

needless to say that things really did do change overnight

you were trashed yet thankful that you remembered most of how the night went including that bit in which you were drunkenly topping and cuddling taehyung then pressing a soft little kiss to the tip of his nose

you could still hear your internal monlogue of “boop :D” when you kissed him

you’re woken up by the boys (yoongi included because it turned out you slept in for much longer) since today was a no-film day and they basically get to do anything in this vacation without it being documented and such

it was just a never-ending warm feeling with tae

throughout the whole day he was just grinning at you and maintaining eye contact and at times when you’re not even doing anything

(he’s glued to your side much to the grumpiness of jimin)

it was a slow burn at most

bumping shoulders and squeezing of wrists 

having his hand casually on the small of your back and around your shoulders

taehyung scrunching his nose SO MUCH

hobi is genuinely concerned

“tae do u have a cold??”

yoongi is fucking relentless

“what? what? what did the good boy smell???”

seokjin keeps pursing his lips intentionally after trying to gain tae’s attention and he = would shrug his shoulders excessively

“i saw that u little punk i SAW that”

namjoon would be on tune with how yoongi just won’t stop

“tie that bandana around your neck instead and sTOP sniffling”

jungkook would roll his eyes and scoff playfully whenever taehyung would glance at him

“do i need to kiss y/n so you’d be jealous enough to do so??”

jimin would be the mediator with all the teases but that doesn’t exactly mean he’s on tae’s side either bc the one time taehyung bragged that jimin was protecting him, he got whacked on the side of the head

“lol no this isn’t for u taehyung,, i’m just doing this because y/n’s cheeks are so hot and they’re burning a hole on my shoulder”

as much as your relationship was slowly but surely blossoming with taehyung

it happened for the boys as well!! even with jimin who you didn’t even think was possible to get closer to

bonding with jin was spontaneity and strict adherance to plans combined

“jin do u know milktpapi on twitter”

“bubble would have been a better name for that puppy”

following twitter recipes that are fast-paced and a little vague became a big hit for the both of you

he went on a watching binge one night and the morning after there were just paper bags on the counter of ingredients upon ingredients that he so sweetly asked the staff to get for him

DC CUPCAKES!!!!!!!

he liked that there has to be some type of drama between those two sisters

jin would just be ranting to you with no end

“they were on CONEy island,,, C O N E ,,,, and she made cupcakes in cONES but they still chose the sister who thought hAMBURGERS,,, in C O N E y island,,,, was a good idea!!!”

another inside game was to guess the personification of inanimate things but to food

“what must sadness taste like”

jin and you and the never-ending bickering between the two of you almost always fills in as white noise

yoongi and you are rather a quite dynamic duo

and as hobi explains that you could just really really catch on with his tempo

like at times they would just catch the two of you lying on the same couch but at the opposite ends with your feet meeting in the middle

awake and in complete silence

jungkook has his eyes squinted

“why are you texting each other????”

and it has him genuinely baffled but he’s just answered with a grumble and he CAN’T tell whether it’s from you or yoongi

just like with jin, there’s also a food approach

“that dumpling kinda looks like namjoon”

“i was JUST about to say that”

it wasn’t a showy type of friendship with yoongi; rather a more silent concern type of thing and the occasional hug

love language with him seems to be the both of you having a drum-off because he has a nervous habit of tapping his fingers

and he’s v thankful because oh :) you’ve just distracted me from that thing i was nervous about :)

also likes snoozing off so whenever you can, you squeeze in a pillow when his neck’s in an awkward position and when he wakes up and realizes he’s just like :) gummy smile :)

hobi is a force to be reckoned with

asking “hey r u ok” out of the blue even if you weren’t particularly sure how the other one felt and sometimes one of your heads would just whip and go “you noticed???? :(”

hanging with him whenever he scrolls at his phone and online shops

the only difference is that he buys what he wants

“you’re telling me that we scrolled for like an hour and you’re not buying any of the things you saw????”

and you just pass it off every time because although a pilot’s wage is above average salary, your future and earning isn’t as sECURED and SOLID as his was

that doesn’t stop him peeking at your cart when you aren’t looking and adding it to his and perhaps checking out :) i mean it’s definitely not from him when you see some parcels in your doorstep by the time you get home :) not from him :)

it’s become a constant thing to link your arms together!!!

even if you’re not necessarily walking, it is essential to link arms with you as he argues

one time jimin tried getting in between your linked arms with hobi bc he wanted to join

hobi IMMEDIATELY glares at him and jimin backed off like sheesh ok but u don’t get to do the things i do with y/n either

writing on each other’s forearms is a thing too

sometimes it’s to conversate when you’re not in the mood to talk verbally

sometimes it’s just about talking shit but don’t tell jin he has his coat on backwards he looks laughable

“can u choreograph something for twinkle twinkle little star”

“y/n i-...”

nAMJOON however feels like he should’ve met you earlier like WAY WAY EARLIER

he gets on with you so well and sometimes he just sulks to jimin

“why didn’t you introduce y/n earlier to me god what was life like before y/n”

brain talk is more prevalent than ever because there are thoughts that delve deep into your mind that sometimes only namjoon could get

noah fence but if you were to rant about this to jimin, he would just drone off and grumble and he’d turn to sleeping because he just can’t help it

movie symbolisms????? count that to him and jungkook

after watching parasite for the nth time, you’re sure all three of you had all bases covered but nO it was somehow bottomless

“isn’t it ironic and somehow oxymoronic that...”

he is eternally grateful for you because one night the boys wanted to have a seafood night and u may or may not have had some recipes sent in your airline gc with how your airplane food was made

(surprisingly it didn’t suck)

and you considered him since he hates it and you know what,, he gets something else cooked for him

god namjoon gets why taehyung is smitten with you

also joonie is a bit oblivious to this fact but the other boys notice that you always bring him back a trinket of some sort

you noticed (and jimin might have pointed out one time) that he tended to fiddle with things and do small tasks whenever he was ticked off or stressed out

you keep note that you should gift him one of those fun kiddie entertainment packs when you’re back to regular programming as a pilot

it’s also a constant thing for you to bury your head to his chest

for no reason at all

it’s really comforting to say the least

he could be preparing breakfast and you’re just trudging down the stairs still not fully awake

“hey. i’m making-...”

boop

“oh ok jus hang there if you want but u might get burnt by the pan but it’s ok it’s ur call”

jimin has become even much more of a precious being

gets in your nerves a bit more often than the last time but it’s normal at this point

head rubs that lull you to sleep are the best :((

taehyung sometimes looks to his hands because jimin got you to sleep instantly and he pouts

“how do you do that?? i wanna do that too pls”

jimin’s voice feels like a warm weighted comforter,, that you gotta admit

“your voice is very velvet-y and it’s unfair because i can’t stay mad at you”

“𝓲 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀“

you still make an awed face whenever jimin cracks his bones

you’re in the middle of being fond and being disgusted at the sound so it’s still a 50/50 whether you grimace or gasp at him

“can i pls borrow your hoops”

“you could ask a million times and i would still say no”

playing with his rings whenever you’re sad is a habit you would never grow out of

which is why you were attached to him by the hip,,, or rather hands ,,, when taehyung was in the verge of being an ass to you

jungkook is something ELSE

if you aren’t lingering around jimin or taehyung, you would definitely be around him

taehyung is most jealous with the two of you but no he didn’t say that :)

annoying each other is the no. 1 task 

but lately annoying feels like second nature now so it doesn’t seem like tradition anymore

you would be his audience whenever he’s drawing because you’re genuinely enthrilled with him and his work

“how are you so good at this”

you’re almost always trying to copy what he draws

“what were you attempting with this”

“i was attempting your drawing”

“lmao are you sure with that???”

jungkook likes playing with you by pretending that he’s annoyed

but when he sees that u made his art your lockscreen, he was so awed that he was literally about to BAWL

he pretends not to notice when you push your food to his plate because you either aren’t too keen with the dish or you’re just too full

when jimin calls you out for “y/n why are you putting ur food on jungkook’s plate” and jungkook with “and jungkook why are you accepting it”

kook just shrugs and comes to defend you

“nope i didn’t see anything hyung :D”

if you liked shoving your head to namjoon’s chest, you liked leaning on jungkook’s shoulder

seokjin looks most offended 

“not even half of me y/n not even H A L F of me”

this really warms taehyung’s heart

because not only are you close to him but also with his brothers!!

even if he wants to deck jungkook sometimes

and that he may need to work on his jealousy

but none of those things matter because he’s given the assurance that you’re exclusive

that he may be yours and you may be his 

as cheesy as that sounded

taehyung’s working on a plan to properly ask you out once bon voyage ends and not just steal cheek kisses from time to time

or hold your hand and avoid your gaze because he too will surely combust

or hug you from behind tenderly 

much to the teasing and the hoots of the boys

and jimin’s occasional scowls but that’s ok he’s moving on and slowly starting to accept the fact that he can’t be overbearing this much anymore

bon voyage wraps soon enough

and truth be told you didn’t want it to end because you were in such bliss!!

it was a very memorable trip that you now carry close to your heart

and the fact that they still have a commercial to be filmed with you and some billboards to be shot makes you very :D

since the commercial was to be filmed tomorrow and you lived close to the airport, jimin initiated the idea of “hey what about if we just sleep over at y/n’s place??” which was very applauded

taehyung squeals the loudest when the idea was pitched in

“lol no you don’t get to sleep in the same bed as y/n”

namjoon shoots jimin a look that he was being overbearing again

“or you could just let her decide :)”

it’s only been four days since they last saw you but needless to say that it was borderline chaos when they met you at your apartment that was more on the spacious side

“y/n’s uncle kinda owns the building” jimin explains at first because the building did look more lavish than the average complex

“d-do i get to meet y/n’s uncle??” 

taehyung is a bit nervous because he didn’t know that fact obviously and now he’s meeting the family and he is unprepared jesus christ and-

“no he probably won’t like you”

“jimin sTOP making taehyung nervous because he’s gonna start sniffling again”

the lot of them get to your apartment before you because your flight got delayed and therefore jimin just had to whip out his key you gave him as an extra

he does it fast enough before taehyung takes a deep dive to how he doesn’t have an extra key from you or something like that 

jimin does feel like he’s being a bit hard on tae so he lays off of it for now

taehyung has the ultimate heart eyes for you the moment you come home

“i missed you” in the most adorable and heartwarming tone

and there it was again

a cheek kiss and not just a quick peck!!

a tight hug to your waist and a nuzzle against your hairline!!

MUCH WARMTH AND FUZZINESS

once jimin finally got to pry taehyung off of you because he claims that he’s hogging you all to himself, you’re met with very eager hugs and greetings

seokjin and basically everyone else are still in awe seeing you in your uniform so he squeezes in a quick pic in his phone 

you sent him a look and when you peered in, the picture turned out really cool with the nice lighting your apartment had

AND he’s really pushing it that it was good because of the app he downloaded that made pictures have a vintage film cam aesthetic to it

so you yielded and just told him to send the picture to you later 

aha ego boost :D

they insisted on cooking dinner since you did look a bit exhausted from your round of flights even if it was routine at this point (the highlight was when some people recognized you from the pics that went viral and asked to take a pic with you when you were greeting them out!!)

“are you really sure you’re gonna cook dinner, tae? i could always order-...”

“you don’t need to!! i wanna cook for you anyway!!”

that was heartwarming more than usual

jungkook clears his throat

“....,., and us”

“aha yes of course i meant for you and the boys as well :D”

you go to change clothes more than enthusiastically now

because things just seemed to be good with no complications at all

the idea of domesticity with taehyung makes you iMPLODE just by thinking about it

the thought was too soft and too fuzzy that you’ve become energized

maybe reading a couple of emails before taking a shower and cleaning up and getting yourself to look a bit more presentable isn’t a bad thing

it isn’t anything but sheer giddiness when you check your inbox and see an edited version of a run bts ep from a staff member you befriended during bon voyage!!!

you kinda get now what jimin was saying that you had the ability to have people wrapped around your finger

maybe it’s charisma you picked up from wanting to please people just so you could have extra credit???

anyways

it’s a run bts ep you get one of the first dibs on to watch so that’s always a reward

basically the context for it was that it was a hot tub confessions type of thing!! the twist was that they had to speak their heart out (their dislike is very much encouraged) over a certain someone bUT they had to rely on their ~telepathy because names wouldn’t drop

and it was a random selection to who would start the confession first and the others had to go with the flow and basically hope that they’re talking smack about the same person lol

only the name blank would be used and it for the pronoun!!

you were already making assumptions to who it would be about

it could be about jungkook because throughout the whole trip, he would literally gasp out of the blue and take the others in shock like seagulls going WHAT WHAT WHAT IS IT WHAT WHAT

or maybe jimin because he’s a lil shit and would pull chairs and that hobi fell victim and was so annoyed because he fell on his ass so hard 

last prospect was seokjin simply because,, as jungkook emphasized throughout this whole trip,, “ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ ᶦˢ ˢᵒ ᵒˡᵈ ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ” just because he complained about his lower back one time

speaking of jin, he gets chosen to open the game!!

and he buffers for a moment that gets another tease from jungkook 

“ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ'ˢ ᵐᵉᵐᵒʳʸ ᶦˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵃⁿʸᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵍᶦᵛᵉ ʰᶦᵐ ʰᶦˢ ᵐᶦˡᵏ“

“blank bought me an actual film camera!! bit more complicated than taehyung’s!! keeps telling me every five seconds about my settings and i!! i KNOW HOW TO WORK IT THANK U VERY MUCH!!”

although jin is a bit guilty about that because he admits that he has a more-than-sure feeling that most of his pics may or may not be either over-exposed or too dark

this reminds you of that time you bought a film camera for jin on a whim because it was on sale and you were talking about it the night before

lol what a coincidence

hobi takes second call

he is only about a quarter-percent sure to who jin was pertaining to so he trails around for a bit

“blank is like a broken kitchen timer”

he plays it safe with that one 

although there is some sort of edge with his bluntness because everyone might be a little drunk hehe 

“blank looks at things as if it was born yesterday!! literally goes :O”

even goes so far to imitate said expression and it makes everyone gIGGLE

yoongi snorts with that and now he’s a bit more feisty since he’s tipsy

“it joins me in my silence”

wait

“texts me even if i’m in the same room like wtf i can see you”

wait

hold on

“likes hUGGING ME TOO MUCH”

you really didn’t like making things about you because other people doing that makes you tick

but there’s this unsteady feeling in your gut

something that makes you think deep in thought and in doubt

jimin was next to speak so that calms your nerves

he would never, right??

maybe you’re just taking things to heart!! the boys really aren’t talking smack about you, right??

your breath is just held because jimin was surely taking his time in making a show with inhaling so deeply so he could yell a bit more dramatically

“DOES IT NOT HAVE ITS OWN CLOTHES????”

oh

your eyes flicker for a moment to the sweater that’s by your dresser

something of jimin’s that you forgot to return

oh.

“needier and whinier than jungkook”

it was the youngest’s turn to cackle

and at this point you’re only half-listening

you’re a bit too preoccupied with the hurt blooming in your chest

“i!! am!! not!! a!! baby!!”

jungkook’s meltdown makes everyone else laugh because right now he had his fists clenched and his face looking like a baby’s

“blank always wants to be included it’s not funny anymore”

there was just a little bit more hope lingering that this may no be about you at all

but god it was getting too specific 

too specific when it came to namjoon who was a bit more eloquent in speaking and wanting to get his point across

“.... trying to memorize my rap in UGH! .....”

fuck this really is about you

and it’s not just sadness that’s overtaking you

makes you more than deflated than you thought you could ever be

“at this point i sometimes avoid her”

and god there’s this more than familiar laugh that fills your ears through and through

“lol namjoon where do you hide?? i hide in the pantry”

taehyung even?

at this point you can’t even bear watching the video anymore

willing your laptop closed so forcefully that it bOUNCED back open but you can’t even begin to worry that you might have put a crack on the screen

shoving it to your desk with the screen facing anywehere instead of you being the best option

the hurt is painfully fresh and oddly felt so surreal

god were you really that intolerable?

you didn’t know how to cope with what you’ve just heard nor experienced

but the only thing you were sure about is that your situation has just been too good

perhaps this was the complication you were looking for because you weren’t used to things being so good

and you know for sure that this feeling isn’t good at all

and you hated it

at this point you’re just trying to go about your previous plans of showering and cleaning up but the eagerness isn’t there anymore

nor is the eagerness to see the boys

nor is the eagerness to see taehyung

didn’t even notice that you were taking up much time that jimin was at your door knocking, voice gentle and inquiring

“y/n did you fall asleep??”

you’re very much tempted to not go out at all because you lost your appetite for eating too

very much so that you make no move at all and actually think that jimin’s given up on knocking at your locked door

but then your phone rings and he knows for sure that you haven’t gone to sleep because it would’ve been put on silent

“are you hiding???”

you pretty much are and you don’t wanna go out at all

but you basically had no choice to

it was a pressure to wipe at stray tears and say “i’m coming” in an unwavering voice and even more-so pretend that nothing’s wrong at all

or the fact that everyone’s eyes are on you and jimin’s prodding makes everyone else wonder

“are you crying??”

the question doesn’t faze you but it does take you by surprise now that you aren’t comfortable with the situation nor the new attention

taehyung’s getting worried because now he notices the redness in your eyes and the bit of puffiness in your lips

“just sleepy. my eyes tear up when i’m sleepy, right?” you’re using jimin’s knowledge about you against him and he agrees to that almost instantly

can’t help thinking that something was fishy though

you weren’t telling him off when he was bickering to taehyung that he shouldn’t sit next to you for dinner

didn’t react either when tae let off a little victory giggle and grinned when he sat next to you not one bit of acknowledgement when a replay of cake boss was on your tv with jin’s eyes flickering over to you repeatedly but he doesn’t receive an excited glance back

even yoongi found you oddly too quiet and he was tempted to pull out his phone to text you

it’s weirdly off

there’s something missing

namjoon was starting to get worried because you aren’t really engaged in this conversation with a topic he’s direly interested about

“and something done to that degree would just be far too suspicious, right?”

“mhmm yeah”

:(

even jungkook who’s kinda throwing himself at you and you’re just barely responding

he’s wriggling himself to fit by your side and just curl up and when he looks at you expectantly to do something, he just gets a pat on the head

a pat??????

hobi’s being over the top with his reactions right now to try and gauge a reaction from you but to no avail at all

normally he would’ve made you laugh or atleast smile at this point

but there’s nothing

just nothing

taehyung gets you alone on the couch because everyone else was just dispersed at this point and are bumping into each other asking if they knew what happened to you

jimin himself is pressured because he prides himself in being your closest friend aND HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU

tae is a lil bit more confident that he could coax out to why you were acting so differently

even gets far as to hold your hand and nuzzle his face to the crook of your neck

“everything okay, baby?”

god and he’s only called you baby only for a handful of times

“yeah”

that didn’t hurt taehyung’s ego

not at all

or make him overthink to why you’re not all that willing to open up to him nor even look interested in this conversation he’s carrying alone on his back

no not at all

not even when jimin has the most balls out of the group and is the testing point to see how the waters would go

while the night’s coming to an end and everyone’s slowly starting to settle in

“aha so where are we gonna crash anyway?”

you know what he’s trying to get at 

but seeing to it that what you just watched prior to this and perhaps for even a longer period besides that particular episode you don’t even wanna watch

you might as well not give anyone the sense of satisfaction nor pride; even if the question took you by surprise with how bluntly he addressed it

“uhm well the guest room now has two beds since some friends come over from time to time”

“but-”

“yeah the huge couch could fold over as a bed”

“but-”

“i could also-...”

“but y/n you have a king-sized bed!!”

jimin blurts out and almost whines out, a frown evident on his face as you keep your will not to break

“oh. just wanna sleep alone, jimin, yeah? kinda tired because of work today.”

he almost always gets what he wants and this blooming feeling inside him isn’t because of the embarrassment that you didn’t grant his wishes of just plopping beside you on your bed 

it’s because he’s thinking of why not

taehyung tries his best to just swallow the lump in his throat because he may or may not have daydreamed that he’d get to share beds with you

nothing but cuddling in his mind and the tiny bit of friskiness but that’s beside the point

he doesn’t wanna think about how there are no goodnight hugs

the closest thing to it was jungkook receiving a pat on the shoulder

because it happened that his arms were outsretched awkwardly

no cheek kiss for taehyung either

yeah it’s perhaps just fatigue as hobi tried to reason

they don’t know if they’re convincing each other or just themselves

maybe tomorrow would be better :D

...

aha no 

in fact at this point of morning when everyone knows that you’d be awake and it happens to be your off-day before the shoot tomorrow

and that whenever they’re around, you’d rather linger around them than to stay cooped in your room because you would be too sluggish then go back to sleep again

“blank always wants to be included it’s not funny anymore”

yeah you’d rather keep your pride at this point

jimin knocks again and you know you have no choice if you wanted this to go as discreet and as smooth as possible without raising suspicions that you knew

jin panicked for a moment because he was making french toast that he saw from damn milktpapi to try and catch your attention so when he hEARD your door click he was rapping litanies faster than the rapline ever could

they unconsciously just gravitate towards the couch and are practically hovering around you

you’re awfully quiet and the only input you give is when you’re asked a direct question

the only noise was coming from them reminiscing about their bv trip 

namjoon keeps bringing you up with “yahhh do u remember when y/n-....”

yoongi makes a point to keep laughing and have his arms protruding and therefore nudging you each time

at one point he almost shoves you but he’s barely met with a reaction

goddamn does he need to throw you off a cliff or something just to get a rise out of you

they really think that there must be something wrong 

so right when they wanted to open it up, they literally get interrupted but this time with a doorbell

you practically leap at that opportunity because quite literally were you saved by the bell

you don’t know who’s ringing your bell and why but you’re willing to take it 

jimin knows that you aren’t expecting anyone besides them as he’s made you promise

he might as well square up right now and be huffy about it

you’re bordering on confusion and curiosity as you open the door and even more-so your audience behind you who may or may not be in the same state

“theo??”

yoongi’s ears immediately perk up at that while his eyes go the widest

he’s toppling over as he scrambles for a vantage point that would get to see theo but without neither you nor theo seeing him

oh my god is this really your prfoessional basketball player for an ex-boyfriend

the boys are panicked to how yoongi’s acting and they even help him adjust his position even if they don’t know what it’s for

“wHAT YOONGI WHAT WHAT WHAT”

“BE QUIET”

he’s racking his brain for the description you gave and the picture you showed him

tall? intimidatingly. shoulders? perhaps even broader than seokjin’s. muscles? even more defined than jungkook when he lived in the gym. fluffy and silky-looking hair? enviously so :((

oh god it is theo

is he supposed to fanboy now

wait 

what was your ex doing here anyway

“i’m just gonna be out for a second, yeah?”

you say aimlessly and yoongi catches your gaze and he pretends to eat french toast while he’s stretched out on the floor to not break his cover

no one even has a chance to question nor respond because you’re already shutting the door

“WHO WAS THAT”

“WHY IS HE HERE”

“i sWEAR i saw him on tv once”

“taehyung are you ok”

yoongi’s bombarded and even if he’s shocked at the the turn of events because one second ur eating french toast with them and the next you’re out the door; he does have a bit more of an idea

“oh that was theo”

...

“are we supposed to automatically know who tHEO is???”

“you gonna add more context to that or????”

“even jimin doesn’t know!!!”

“theo’s a basketball player”

there are a couple of awed reactions

even namjoon’s explosive “aHHHHH so that’s where he’s from”

but there’s this question that’s begging to be asked

jimin taking front line as he asks with so much spite

“why is theo here then??”

this baffles yoongi too

most times he just doesn’t sugarcoat things and his mouth speaks the truth before he could even think of something else

“aish i don’t know i just know that she’s y/n’s ex so stop asking me if-...”

jimin’s in the corner with his mouth dropped, tongue poking at his cheek

“oh uhm i didn’t know that”

taehyung is sat on the floor with his attention not on the french toast anymore

eyes distant and not blinking as he’s nodding

“i see”

both jimin and taehyung clearly need time to process this bit of information

the conversation ends at that and everyone else staggers around

jimin’s in thought because why didn’t he know that??

shouldn’t he know that?

and what’s it with yoongi knowing instead of him?

taehyung, on the other hand, is conflicted with what he should feel

he’s jealous that’s for sure

the both of you covered masses of topics during the outing

but it never came to the topic of past flames

were you meaning not to tell him? or theo wasn’t talked about because the topic never came????

is this insecurity that he’s feeling

jungkook has to hold taehyung’s head still because he’s still nodding while deep in thought

you really weren’t expecting theo to show up at your doorstep

it’s in good intentions and you remained as friends but he was just too unexpected

“didn’t you know?? i’m gonna be one of those extras tomorrow for your airline commercial and it’s just a lil cameo but still!!! i don’t know i just wanted to visit you since i was in the area too :D”

and that’s what ended up with you coming with him to the little cafe at your complex with the promise that it was just gonna be quick and you’ll show him out

and perhaps that you don’t wanna be in the same room as them either

avoiding is good

yeah it would be good

:)

jimin doesn’t know what he’s trying to prove either but there’s this tug on his chest that basically yelled at him that he was a shitty friend

hasn’t been an hour ever since you left but he���s kinda sitting there fazed, whatever the other was saying coming in his ear and going out the other

“i lost my charger :(((”

jimin’s mindlessly answering to a pouty namjoon

“y/n has the same laptop. you could just get the charger by her desk”

he says naturally as if it’s clockwork and only waves him off when namjoon asks if it would be okay with you

he smiles at that and practically bounces to your unlocked room

quickly finds your desk and looks for a familiar charger

oh uhm it’s still connected to your laptop

jimin already said it was no worries so namjoon sleekly takes it out of the port with little hesitation

why did your laptop turn on

wait

is that his face??

is that

is that them in a hot tub

jimin’s wondering why namjoon is taking so long

he himself hasn’t been in your room for a long time and the thought makes him spring up

“hyung??”

fuck

oh god

it feels like freezing cold water was just splashed onto their spines without warning

jimin immediately pales

it’s taehyung who piles in last to your bedroom with all the commotion he could hear

he wants to absolutely deck himself 

everyone’s just speechless when they clicked play on the video even when they had this underlying feel to what it was

there’s a collective intake of sharp inhales because they couldn’t even finish the episode in which they basically talk shit about you for a solid three minutes

jimin has his face on his hands and he’s visibly stressed as everyone else is

couldn’t even tell on which blow was the hardest because they were all so harsh in their own ways

basically hit where it hurts most 

they were drunk beyond their comprehension and weren’t necessarily thinking

the episode was filmed pretty much in the first day of bv 

and whatever circumstance that night was in, it was still no excuse

absolutely no excuse to how they acted

maybe they took joking and overexaggerating too far

but whatever route they took, be it honest or not, no doubt that they were sure it hurt you

god a mental breakdown is already creeping at the back for all seven of them

tAEHYUNG’S SOBBING

jimin’s shaking

jungkook’s rubbing his eyes

jin and namjoon are repeating themselves

hobi’s dead silent

yoongi’s hands are practically trembling

it’s when you go home that you’ve momentarily forgotten that everything was going downwards because you spent the last hour or two being distracted by theo in just your pajamas

but it’s when you know that they know

and some can’t even look you in the eye

jimin’s the first to shoot up from his seat and god he looks somehow wrecked

“y/n i-...”

“m’sorry for being introlerable and all of those things, yeah? won’t happen again.”

everyone tenses at that

you shouldn’t even be apologetic!!

in fact they’re the ones who fucked up and you’re the one who’s acting as if you did

this makes them even more guilty

they all pipe in and try to point that out but you just easily drown them out with a tilt of your head

taehyung who’s standing by your doorframe just buffers as if to reach out for you but he retracts it quickly

they’ve really done it this time huh

it’s all just in characteristically empty spirits

the shooting next day was painful

having to drive together and be squished in between yoongi and jungkook whose mouths were so dry and eyes glossy

“i didn’t mean it”

jungkook first says under his breath and it’s quite a hitch in his throat when he adds on to it

“we weren’t thinking at all”

it’s a quiet show as jungkook and yoongi try to apologize to you and you’re in the middle trying to just sit through it all

it’s a quick nod as you have for a response before you hurriedly go down the van in perfect timing

you did listen and the apologies were sincere and heartfelt

just not too keen on forgiving something of that gravity in an instant

even with their promise that they could work something out to have that bit cut out or even scrap the whole episode if necessary

you just couldn’t wait to get the day over

you’re rigid with them and them trying to get to talk to you in between takes

the skits required more of them than you anyway so you just sat that one out

all while they try to get genuine with the feelings and lines indicated in their script

taehyung was the most distracted

even if people expected more of him given his acting credentials

and when it’s your turn to be filmed at, he can’t help staring

you looked blank

there’s this certain hyunbin (and also to your surprise) that’s gonna act as your co-pilot that got to make you smile a time or two after making a fool out of himself

if only taehyung knew that theo’s gonna be here as an extra

he would flip and THEN bawl

and as if things wouldn’t get even more unfavorable for you, they decide to cram in the photoshoot for the billboard at this very day too

multiple shoots of you being in the middle of them with a commercial-like smile

you having a solo one

them having one too

the boys wearing your airline’s flight attendant uniforms

trying to have a candid shot but all of you should be laughing and smiling as per the director

that was painful

that was really painful for the staff to watch

most painful for the eight of you

they even had to count to three so you could laugh together even if that takes away the essence of a candid shot

jimin wants so badly to hold you and talk to you

taehyung wants to get on his knees desperately if it means earning your forgiveness

the shoot raps and you’re zooming out the set

tae breaks down yet again because they’re gonna be held up by your ceo for awhile

:(

things feel empty and slow

everyone got around to texting you their apologies because as much as they’re desperate to apologize, they’ve done enough damage and respecting your space is the least they could do

that doesn’t stop jimin dropping in from time to time to leave something by your door

nor taehyung who doesn’t give up with all his texting and calling and sometimes waiting on your door

jimin and him coincidentially went at the same time and they just teared up and sulked together

you weren’t even home at that time

of course you’ve read their messages

trying to talk it out too as you’ve refused to succumb into your passive-aggressiveness

admittedly

you don’t wanna lose what you have either

:(

it’s only been two weeks so far

progress as you reply to texts here and there

slowly warming up again!!

namjoon earning back his partner for talking about movie symbolisms and perhaps everything wrong in this barren earth

seokjin getting to send you incorrect quotes from cake boss again left and right

hobi gaining his online shopping partner back 

yoongi making you promise that you’d hug him when he gets to see you again

jungkook vowing to teach you how to draw and makes sure to send daily content so he could make you switch wallpapers

jimin

well jimin

jimin’s going over the top as he has a lot to mend

but forgiveness was clear in the path and when you finally agreed to meet up with him after your shift

(he’s made the effort to wait for you in your lounge hours before as he got to pull some strings)

and then when you have a drink over it and talk about what happened properly, it just ends in a massive hug and some tears shed :((

“i missed u so much”

“i know”

“i could really be a fucking asshole sometimes”

“you are”

“you are none of those things and i don’t ever wanna stop having you as my friend”

“aha yes”

“you love me too much and i love you too much and this is forever now ok pls don’t get mad at me ever again”

basically everything was slowly returning back to normal

taehyung hasn’t texted you for a couple of days

even if you barely responded and miss him as much

it’s something you still have to come to terms with because his blows hit the hardest

you’re losing sleep just by thinking about him :(

you try to get on with your days with the knowledge that you get on with the six of them

things becoming more hectic for you because sometimes you forget that you’re famous now

but sometimes it was just lackluster if you were to admit

you basically sprint at the chance to pick up a normal shift again because you’ve missed flying

you liked being pampered for shoots but being tired from flying is the ache you’ve been craving for :((

it’s when you’re briefed that the plane you’d be flying isn’t your usual aircraft yet you still have the clearance for it

it’s when you just had the kick to be extra punctual and jump at the chance to greet passengers boarding

it’s these little extras in your day that you were so eager for things

that things just seem to be aligning

:)

taehyung’s by the front-most seat

hyunbin by his side as he gets up and goes to the cockpit to do nothing but take your place

it’s oddly warm just by looking at taehyung

no apologies have been said yet and it’s when that hyunbin practically says over the mic that “y/n take a seat and put your seatbelt on jesus christ” you do beside tae

the atmosphere’s just a loving type of warm

you really can’t explain it

it’s the same type of slow burn the both of you felt in the outing

the same anticipation you had for each other even if the other was doing the bare minimum

“hi”

taehyung croaks out after an eternity, a grin he tries to earnestly keep as it breaks out

“let’s talk.”

he’s nervous as he sees you relax to your seat, knowing in routine that the plane was to take off 

taehyung ever-so slightly shifts in his seat, shoulders touching with yours and hand in an armrest as he flexes them so slightly -- only supposed to be an attempt at a loving tease but it’s when you shift towards him and have your hand skim his for the slightest fraction

:)

“let’s talk.”

#yEEEEEET #feedback pLS AND THANK U :D #i spent so much time and so much heat from my overheating laptop pls :(( #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung imagine #kim taehyung imagines #kim taehyung imagine #bts #bts imagine #taehyung x reader #bts x reader #ot7 imagine #taehyung writing #taehyung fics #bts fics

[diyeoracha]

IwaOi Master Fic Rec List (50+ Fics)

Hello! In celebration accumulating over 190+ bookmarks on my AO3 account featuring IwaOi and Iwaizumi coming back into the manga (and for his (almost) birthday), I decided to create a masterlist of all of my favorite fanfictions in order to keep myself organized as well as contributing to more traffic on those works! I decided to split the works up by my own self-imposed genres, such as angst, coming-of-age (or the childhood-friends-to-lovers trope that we all love which depicts how their relationship changes as they grow up and will mostly be canon-compliant), and alternate universe. With the revival of Iwaizumi in the manga, alternate universes will be broken down into adulting AU where he and Oikawa’s diverge differs from in canon and actual, legit AU where there’s basically no volleyball.

I’ll include the title, link, word count, fic summary, and my own commentary (mostly for my own personal entertainment). While the AO3 fandom has been going strong since 2014, I personally have only been reading IwaOi fics for about 3 months, so I will most likely be recommending some cult-favorites, especially since I’ve been reading my fics by sorting through the tag with the most kudos.

My absolute favorites (or the ones where I personally push onto my IRL haikyuu friends) will be denoted with ♡ in increments of 1-3 with 3 ♡ being an absolute must-read. Fics marked with a * indicate that Iwaizumi or Oikawa or both are professional athletes because that’s honestly my Favorite Trope. This is incomplete as I got distracted while re-reading a lot of these and have only gone through half of my bookmarks, but feel free to check my own page here for the rest of them! This took me about 9 days to compile (aka this was in my drafts for about 9 days) but I do hope you guys enjoy reading these and leave comments and kudos!

Adulting AU 

*♡♡Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count: 19k

Summary: It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

Thoughts: THIS IS IT. THIS FIC IS GOD TIER. They’ve been separated but now are falling back into old habits and there’s a confession on the line? Akaashi is in here and he’s pretty funny. I reread this all the time.

*♡♡♡the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

Summary: Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

Thoughts: Absolutely the best IwaOi fic I’ve ever read. I’ve reread this about 4x and I always pay attention to a new sentence or detail that leaves me breathless. The characterization is pretty spot on, and I have to admit that this fic made me appreciate IwaOi a little more. I’ve cried countless times too. A cult-favorite but it doesn’t have nearly as many hits as it deserves.

♡days fall away

Word count: 17k

Summary: Except now he’s back home, so close to his old haunts and to Oikawa himself, and it's—weird.

Thoughts: They’ve separated for a bit but now they’re back in the same city and learning to be around each other again. Cue teasing from the biological and Seijoh family

it's been so long (nobody knows me the way you do)

Word count: 8k

Summary: Tooru hums, only half-listening. Somewhere along the way, Hajime’s palm has settled itself over the curve of Tooru’s cheek, thumb tracing over the line of his jaw.

Thoughts: They’re living together post-college feat. snapshots from their lives before getting together and their Seijoh team! It’s really soft but it manages a humorous tone as well.

Time

Word count: 5k

Summary: When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.

Thoughts: A piecewise fic told from Oikawa’s point of view. The tone is almost chatty but it really fits the pacing of the work as you get snippets and sentences of their relationship throughout the years

♡Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

Summary: Iwa-chan's leaving Japan. Tooru's not sure he can forgive him, but he's not going to admit his long-held feelings, either. A trip to Miyajima complicates everything.

Thoughts: They go on vacation right before Iwaizumi leaves Oikawa for a year. Oikawa ponders their relationship.

where fireflies never die

Word count: 4k

Summary: >>Oikawa: Hey Iwa-chan >>Oikawa: Did I ruin it?

Thoughts: Oikawa is a mangaka and basically writes his best selling series based off of him and Iwaizumi. This was pretty angsty ngl with a lot of introspection and second-guessing.

In the Business of Love

Word count: 22k

Summary: Meet Oikawa Tooru: He's a best-selling shoujo manga artist, a hardcore romantic and you won't believe where he's getting his lovey dovey fodder from...Enter Iwaizumi Hajime: He's Oikawa's best friend, a realist who also happens to be a wedding magazine writer despite not believing in romance...

Thoughts: Mangaka Oikawa but this is basically a rom-com lmao

Alternate Universe

Even Heroes (have the right to dream) 

Word count: 20k 

Summary: Oikawa Tooru, ace reporter of the superhero beat of Asahi Shimbun, hates superheroes. Or maybe he just hasn’t met the knight one yet. 

Thoughts: Superhero-hiding-his-identity-Iwaizumi and begrudging Oikawa? Sign me up. This fic spent a little more time on worldbuilding than eventual romance, but it is still absolutely unique and entertaining

The secret omega

Word count: 17k

Summary: Iwaizumi’s annoying as fuck best friend. Who absolutely, definitely, no matter what, cannot find out that Iwaizumi is an omega.

Thoughts: A/B/O dynamics where Iwa is the omega and Oikawa is the alpha. 90% plot building which is pretty nice.

Conquering the Great King

Word count: 105k

Summary: Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

Thoughts: Malicious and flirtatious Oikawa meet immovable object Iwaizumi. They’re businessmen trying to navigate friends-with-benefits and love all at the same time. A+ sex scenes tbh. 

♡Infinite Risks

Word count: 8k

Summary: “It’s my fate,” Oikawa responds slowly. He’s crying.“It’s too lonely,” Iwaizumi’s heart sounded broken. “And I’m not there with you. Not really.”

Thoughts: Edge of Tomorrow AU!!!!! Please watch Edge of Tomorrow first because it’s truly a brilliant movie that I wholly enjoyed and this fic reflects that. This also made me really sad so Beware

*♡Something Like Us

Word count: 28k

Summary: Friends since childhood, Oikawa and Iwaizumi now live together, both playing for the National Team. It's no secret that athletes who are bonded perform better. So if the two of them happen to bond...It'd be for the good of the team, right?

Thoughts: ABO dynamics (and somewhat canon-compliant) as they’re roommates, on the national team, and try to navigate being “fake” mated while harboring feelings

And All the Prince’s Men

Word count: 65k

Summary: “Father only loves that which he owns, and I am the one thing that can never truly be his.”

Thoughts: Royal bastard son Oikawa and his servant Iwaizumi. An enthralling read and universe. The romance takes a secondary seat here as it focuses more on plot and world-building. 

♡long nights, no peace

Word count: 18k

Summary: It's the steady knowledge that Iwaizumi Hajime will always be someone that he can rely on, that no matter what the world throws at the two of them, they share in a piece of each other's soul.

Thoughts: Pacific Rim! AU. Otherwise known as my favorite types of AUs because they’re basically soulmates (platonic or not,, but they’re not platonic here)

♡(sing with me) A Song of Conquest and Fate

Word count: 26k

Summary: When Seijou receives a missive from Aobajousai to discuss a potential peace, its emperor Oikawa Tooru could not have foreseen the series of events that would follow.

Thoughts: Warring states/historical fantasy AU. The world building is amazing and this author has great control over her language use

Cotton Breathing

Word count: 13k

Summary: 

Thoughts: Long-distance and summer only but childhood friends Iwaoi!!! A dreamy summer piece and reading it almost makes me feel like I’m in a Studio Ghibli movie because of the mood it puts me in

Similar Creatures

Word count: 53k

Summary: "What's your name?" "Whatever you want it to be."(Or, Oikawa gets directions from an attractive stranger on a street corner.)

Thoughts: Iwaizumi is an escort and Oikawa needs a fancy date

Space

Word count: 44k

Summary: Tries not to think of his rooftop garden, or the apartment he used to inhabit, or Hajime’s broken expression on the night they whispered their goodbyes before Tooru’s launch, attempting to push it all to the back of his mind behind visions of this alien world terraformed

Thoughts: Oikawa’s in outerspace. They’re separated. This left me feeling pretty empty ngl.

♡here comes your man 

Word count: 8k

Summary: Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties.

Thoughts: Doctor AU where Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s relationship is pondered by Suga

In the Telling

Word count: 6k

Summary: Muggleborn Iwaizumi could not be less impressed with pureblood Oikawa Tooru.

Thoughts: Harry Potter AU where they’re in the same year and aren’t really friends but are also friends

♡♡The Loyalty of A Traitor

Word count: 76k

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime was an undercover officer with a single objective: Infiltrate the Seijoh Syndicate of the Yakuza and tear them down from the inside out. His primary target was the boss, Oikawa Tooru. The job itself was simple enough, until Iwaizumi got in too deep and absconded not only from the mission, but from the city itself.

Thoughts: Oh fuck this was Good. Yakuza boss Oikawa???? Disgraced Iwaizumi??? Do they fall in love (again)?

and suddenly, we were traitors

Word count: 17k

Summary: "sorry, it's just... you’ve been amazingly kind to me these past few days. ...but i'm still not sure who you are.”

Thoughts: The amnesia fic this fandom needed

Trial by Fire

Word count: 78k

Summary: (lawyer!AU - in which Iwaizumi loves his objections, Oikawa is beautiful, and they have more chemistry than two opposing attorneys probably should.)

Thoughts: Hot

dear diary, i met a boy

Word count: 15k

Summary: Iwaizumi's first impression of his upstairs neighbor involves getting woken up at two in the morning to the sound of Oikawa singing along to trashy pop music. He'd thought it would get better, but it all just goes downhill from there.

Thoughts: Model Oikawa and salaryman Iwaizumi meet and try to make it work

on shipwreck shore

Word count: 8k

Summary: “I’m going to murder you in cold blood and feed you to the basilisks,” Iwaizumi says conversationally.“You can’t do that, I’m your boss,” Oikawa sings, positively sparkling. “Also we’re partners, which means,” he points at Iwaizumi and leans in, “you’re stuck with me.”

Thoughts: Detectives but they’re actually funny

♡Lockdown

Word count: 72k

Summary: Within the first few months of his stay, Oikawa gets caught up in a war between cellblocks, becomes a prime target, and must decide just how far he's willing to go to protect Iwaizumi Hajime.

Thoughts: Orange is the New Black AU!!! Im a sl*t for tatted Iwaizumi

an allegory of all the things we could’ve been

Word count: 16k

Summary: “I don’t know anything about some red string,” Iwaizumi murmurs into the cracks of Oikawa’s skin, “or even about lifetimes or fate. But no matter where you are, I’ll find you. Gods or otherwise.”

Thoughts: Reincarnation AU throughout the timelines. A good soft read that leaves you sort of empty

Angst

Timeless (We Have 30 Days)

Word count: 12k

Summary: Or AU where you're branded 50 days before you die. But Oikawa doesn't tell anyone so now there's only 30 days left.

Thoughts: Ahhhhhhhhh tears

the weight of water

Word count: 6k

Summary: “Again,” he says, the smallest tremor in his voice, and Oikawa blinks at him a moment before smiling, soft and sweet. “Iwa-chan,” he replies, and Iwaizumi closes his eyes. “Again.” “Iwa-chan.”

Thoughts: Death fic 

open when

Word count: 1k

Summary: Iwaizumi knew it was coming, but it still hurt. It still hurt when he opens one letter and drowns it in the tears he cannot keep at bay.

Thoughts: It takes only 1.6k words to make me cry

Canon Compliant/Coming-Of-Age

♡♡i sing the body electric

Word count: 8k

Summary: It was never part of the plan, falling in love with his best friend, but then again, most things in Iwaizumi’s life that involve Oikawa rarely unfold the way he thinks they will.

Thoughts: A beautifully introspective piece told from Iwaizumi’s point of view. It’s wholly intimate and it toes along the lines of pining and soft angst. It’s told in snippets from their lives growing up together. 

♡we can do better than that

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

Thoughts: There’s a lot of character analysis and it takes a step away from the casual banter they’re always portrayed to have and focuses on the intricacies of their relationship. The tone is almost a little more melancholy. (also they have to share a bed! trope)

♡when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?”OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

Thoughts: Oh This Is It IwaOi stans. This fic really solidified my own headcanon for Oikawa (spoiler alert, OP isn’t too fond of Oikawa but she fleshes out his character and his idiosyncrasies so well that you can’t help but be drawn into all of his imperfection) and this fic respects Iwaizumi as well. It has absolutely great characterization and the fic ends on an ambiguous note. 

to be first, to be best

Word count: 26k

Summary: Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks “I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren't I?”

Thoughts: College roommates trying to navigate having feelings for each other while also dating others and not realizing that they’re jealous? A cult favorite.

♡things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he's in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only a while.)

Thoughts: Ahh a slow burn featuring daily moments between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and Oikawa starts to notice the little things. This was a cute read because Oikawa just comes off as wonderfully earnest. My first Iwaoi fic! And a great one because it really set the standard to how I interpreted their relationship.

it’s better than words

Word count: 3k

Summary: [ or : oikawa makes iwaizumi participate in three bonding activities for new friends, and iwaizumi just wants to know why oikawa's being so weird about this]

Thoughts: Soft pining, fluff, banter, and whispered confessions. This fic really nailed the banter of high school students really well.

♡shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

Thoughts: Oikawa falls first and but Iwaizumi realizes his feelings later on! So soft, so slow burn, so much pining. We get to see their relationship through Iwaizumi’s eyes and actually read him analyze his own feelings.

♡we shine like diamonds

Word count: 26k

Summary: "You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Thoughts: Character analysis, homophobia, and coming of age makes a good and angsty iwaoi fic

terrarium

Word count: 11k

Summary: At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Thoughts: Oikawa has a terrarium and names all of the rocks he puts in (that Iwaizumi gave him) “Iwa-chan #_”

Chasing Paper Suns

Word count: 10k

Summary: Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.

Thoughts: This was pretty sad tbh. Of what it means to grow up together and then suddenly having to adjust to living without each other’s presence.

with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Thoughts: Of growing up together, making decisions for each other, and wanting to be together

Only the jellyfish know

Word count: 6k

Summary: Their third and final year at Aoba Jousai has come to an end, and the guys decide to go to the beach the day after graduation.That day, the ocean water is salty, the watermelon is sweet, and the people are sweeter.

Thoughts: Established relationship

Smut

strange.

Word count: 1k

Summary: "god, i fucking hate you."oikawa smiles, cause he knows it's not true. he knows iwaizumi loves him, knows iwaizumi adores him. but he plays along."i hate you too,"

Thoughts: It’s hot

Say My Name 

Word count: 2k

Summary: “Hey, have you ever tried saying my first name?” Iwaizumi blurts, and the thought jumps out of his subconscious only after he's posed the question.

Thoughts:

No Touching Allowed

Word count: 10k

Summary: “You’ve got one rule,” Iwaizumi winks at him.

Thoughts: ExoticDancer!Iwaizumi and stressed out/repressed businessman Oikawa also an AU.

Honorable Mentions

things wikipedia doesn’t tell you

pillow

Phone Home

Share my life, it’s yours to keep

in progress to you

no sleep in the city

The PDA jar

Kissmarked

#iwaoi #oikawa tooru #oikawa #iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #hq!! #hq fic rec #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fanfiction #id ask that u guys pls reblog if u can so more people can enjoy :') rly there are some Underrated works #and im surprised bc it looks like iwaoi is the most popular pairing in hq rn with the most fics #and there are iwaoi fics being uploaded like everyday #some of my favs were published in 2020 too

[universitykpop]

It’s time to talk about it

I’ve decided to publish that post I talked about the other day. I’ve noticed several other writers on here are making posts about lack of feedback and interaction and that they’re leaving or no longer writing. This is a topic that I’ve tried to not post a lot about because I didn’t want to seem ungrateful or annoying. But if there’s any time to talk about it, it’s now. I’ve put it below a cut because it is quite a long post with a lot of my emotions about tumblr and my blog. So buckle up, kids, ‘cause it’s a rollercoaster of feels.

My Experience as a Tumblr Fanfic Writer;

When I started this blog, I was fresh off of onedirectionfanfiction.com and 5sosfanfiction.com, where I never had many readers or any feedback. I got maybe 10 comments (they weren’t in-depth reviews, just ‘omg’ or ‘harry’s so hot’) in total from my dozens and dozens of long fanfics (some stories hitting over 100k words which I can’t even dream of now). Coming onto here, I didn’t think my writing was going to get much attention based on past experience. There was a handful of “big scenario blogs” and I liked and reblogged everything I enjoyed reading because that’s how I wanted people to interact with my content. I didn’t know how it felt to receive positive feedback but I wanted others to, even when they were already getting it from so many other readers. When I hit 500 followers, I thought that was it, I wasn’t going to get more followers/readers. I had readers requesting that I do requests and begging for more parts of stories meant to just be oneshots. I was so over the moon to be receiving that kind of love for something I enjoyed doing. I felt like I was finally good at something; I had a purpose for spending hours writing about people I admired and liked. I was getting messages almost everyday for two years and if I hadn’t posted in so long anons were in my ask box asking if I was still here. I had regular anons who went by cute little anon names for a short time. My notifications exploded so much that I had to turn off push notifications because my phone would not stop going off in classes. I cannot describe how happy I was in that time. I have been writing and reading fanfics since 2009 and I always wondered how it would feel to be one of the “popular” writers on a fic site, and during 2016/2017 I thought I achieved that based on the interactions I got. 

As I continued to write, I started to notice many of the fic writers I followed started making friends with other writers I followed. As someone who is very introverted, shy, and socially anxious (especially at this point in time of my blog), I wondered if any other writers would reach out to me and befriend me. No one ever really did, and I thought something was wrong with me. They had their group chats and inside jokes they’d post and tag each other. They would inspire each other to write things and bounce ideas off one another. I haven’t ever felt like I was a part of the kpop fanfic writing community; I was just kinda there. People knew my url but didn’t know me. I had mutuals who messaged me a few times, and then a while later I go back to see what they’re doing and they’re no longer mutuals with me. It shouldn’t have bothered me but it did. Was I annoying? Did they just not like me? Did someone else talk shit about me and then that person changed their opinion about me? I’ll never know because I don’t like confrontation. I have always felt kind of left out, and it reminded me a lot of my real life. Since 2015 when I started this blog, I’ve made one friend and I still talk to her to this day. At times, she was my only friend. She knows who she is, and I cannot say how grateful I am that she reached out to me.

Around 2018, interactions just kind of stopped. I became paranoid and frantic about how I could get back to where I was, but nothing I did worked. As I approached 17k followers, only needing two more to hit it, I began to lose followers by the dozens. I couldn’t figure out why. I was still posting stories but barely got feedback. I decided to stop writing for a bit and not many readers were concerned. It got to the point that I avoided getting on here because I knew I would only get upset and feel guilty by logging on. It felt weird because I had such a large following yet no one cared. And now, I sit at 16.4k followers who barely interact with my content. I don’t get messages about my content, and sometimes I get more than 5 notes in a day. I don’t feel motivated to write because who’s going to read it? I felt like I lost my purpose; it didn’t matter if I continued to write. My stories became shorter and more scarce. I moved to other platforms to see if engagement would go up, but it didn’t. It was pointless to post here and on other sites. I had a taste of praise and I miss it. When it stopped, I couldn’t figure out if I had done something wrong. I study consumer behavior and write papers about it for my Masters degree, and I still can’t figure out why fanfic readers don’t engage with authors on here. In merchandising, people are always willing to give their opinion on products whether it’s good or bad, so why aren’t fic consumers willing? Some writers I’ve read, who I watched grow in popularity and envied their readers interactions, are now in the same boat I’m in and I hate that this is happening to us. Some of them I’m shocked they are also dealing with this. We make this content for free, spending h o u r s to create it, and we get nothing in return. I loved being able to connect with my readers and feel their emotions about my stories. It made me feel fulfilled finally as an fic author.

Now, I can’t remember the last time I opened my scenario documents. How could something that I loved doing for so long become a burden? This blog caused some of my happiest moments and my saddest. Sometimes I debate deleting my account or logging off for good. But I can’t let go after all the effort I’ve put into my blog. 

Would I recommend becoming a Tumblr fanfic writer? Absolutely not. Do not make Tumblr your primary source where you post your stories. Focus on interactions and feedback from actual fiction websites, where it is meant to host those relationships.

This post isn’t meant to shame anyone or brag. I wanted to be real for a moment and tell my truth. So many writers randomly leave without a word, and I just can’t let myself do that. I want to be in the fandoms and contribute and have fun, but I feel like my time to do that has been over for a long time, like I don’t belong here anymore. I’ll still be around but I probably won’t plan to update stories, specifically on this blog. I will most likely post random oneshots on my ateez sideblog @alotofteez and my accounts on aff and ao3. I’ll still make photo edits every once in a while. I really didn’t think I’d make this sort of “goodbye” post because I had so many plans for this blog that just unfortunately never came to fruition.

#time to talk #personal

[hermitreunited]

💜💜Klave Fic Recs!! 💜💜

Surprising probably uhhh no one, I go absolutely WILD for Klaus and Dave, but this list is the restrained edit. It deffff could be longer. This ship means so so much to me, and that is absolutely the product of reading such incredible, beautiful fic about them. I have never before felt as strongly about a fictional couple, which I guess means it’s my first actual otp? So so many thanks to the writers who wrote fic about these two and taught me what longing and love are.

Ten Months by @fanthings​

It makes him sad, sometimes, that in order to find acceptance, Klaus has to travel back fifty years into one of the bloodiest wars of American history. Most of the time, he doesn't care. His family probably doesn't even notice he's missing anyway. --- Dave is looking at him, eyes soft and heavy lidded. “What did you say to that guy?” he asks, head resting on the wall, body turned towards Klaus. “Ah,” Klaus laughs, dropping his hand to take a drink. “Just mouthed off. You know how I am.” “That mouth will get you in trouble some day,” Dave says softly. Klaus looks up, swallowing. “Some people like my mouth,” he says. “I do.”

Rating: M⎜Word Count: 122k+⎜In Progress (10/14)

Fuck. Fuck! I can’t explain how much I love this fic. I’ve gone out of my mind over it. It’s so so good. Covering Klaus’ ten months in Vietnam, and his and Dave’s relationship. It’s so well written and detailed and all the characters even OCs are so well-realized and realistic. Dave is fully fleshed out too, with strengths and flaws and his own person, not Klaus’ prop. It made me realize that Klaus and Dave fighting is my favorite thing, because then they get back together. They always work to fix things with each other and ahhh god I’m emotional just thinking about it I adore this fic.

Oddities Observed, Vietnam 1968 by @charmingpplincardigans​

“There are people who care whether you live or die,” Dave said, because he felt it needed saying. He couldn’t imagine not caring. This man was erratic, but he was also fragile in a way Dave couldn’t quite put his finger on given how he was apparently also indestructible, and deeply intuitive about people and their moods. When he wasn’t as high as the army doctors’ pills and black-market heroin would allow, he was paying attention. Dave knew, because while Klaus was paying attention to the others, he was paying attention to Klaus. “Do you think?” Klaus pulled a joint out of his metal cigarette case, lit it, and took a hit. He offered it to Dave, who didn’t take it. He was always offering his things to Dave, even when he knew they weren’t things Dave wanted. “Yes,” he said. “I do.” (Or, Vietnam, but from Dave's point of view.)

Rating: M⎜Word Count: 17k+⎜Complete (1/1)

An absolute classic. I don’t think I’ve seen it on other lists this week and that’s simply a crime. One of the first Vietnam fics I read and still one of the best! It’s got such a good blend of that lethal combination of all Klaus and Dave fics - on fire with the fear and violence of their situation, but so full of tenderness and love. It’s got desperation, in the best way. It’s beautiful.

the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of by katplanet

“You agreed to be a designated driver,” Klaus says, because of course he’s as good at this as he is at every other thing he and Dave have done in bed together. “All your stupid Varsity Lacrosse friends started annoying you, so you were looking for someone else to talk to. And lo and behold, a sad twink in a crop top, alone on the couch with a half-finished vodka cranberry.” “What’s a twink?” “Me,” Klaus says. “I’m a twink.”

Rating: E⎜Word Count: 6k+⎜Complete (1/1)

The only explicit fic I’ve ever recced? I don’t read too much smut, but this fic. The tenderness in this fic is enough to kill you, and then also there is smut, which is a potent combination! This is the fic that gave me my Klaus and Dave tag, because reading this fic, I cried and came to some realizations about Love.

Slow is in My Blood by @sunriseseance​​

Dave touches him, sometimes. In dances through root systems lit by a diffused moon, Dave puts a hand on his lower back, his arm, his shoulder. To help, he says. Your balance, he says, it isn’t good. I don’t want you to fall. These pits are endless, he says. You don’t like the dark. A touch to help. It helps. A meditation on Klaus and allowing himself to be loved. Dave doesn't die at the end.

Rating: NR⎜Word Count: 1k+⎜Complete (1/1)

It’s so so gorgeous. It’s Klaus making the decision to love and be loved, even as he considers all the frightening ramifications of it. It’s had a huge impact on the way I think about their dynamic. I love it so much.

My night sky by apathyinreverie

The first time Dave sees Klaus, he is wearing nothing but a bloody towel, clutching a briefcase to his chest like his life depends on it and looking up at him with big eyes from where he is sitting on the floor next to his cot. And immediately, Dave is spellbound. Over the ten months they know each other, that doesn’t change.

Rating: G⎜Word Count: 3k+⎜Complete (1/1)

Such a great look at Klaus from Dave’s outside, but smitten perspective. Almost like a character study of him, during a time when he’s going through so much. And it’s so well-written - right from the start there’s a line about Klaus being made of contradictions that has stuck with me for so long.

Bad Habits by @siriuspiggyback

Dave shook his head. “I wasn’t asking you to- I wanted to talk. That’s all. Not-” “Why are you making this so difficult?” accused Klaus. “I made you mad. So I was going to suck you off, so you wouldn’t be mad anymore,” he said simply, like he was explaining something obvious. Or, after a lifetime of sleeping with guys just to get off the streets for the night, Klaus has a bad understanding of consent. Dave isn't okay with that.

Rating: T⎜Word Count: 3k+⎜Complete (1/1)

And if we are talking about things that have stuck with me, this fic is one that I must have read so early on that I just folded it in with my baby developing Klaus and Dave dynamic headcanons, and it’s never left me. I think this is the only one on here that is set in some kind of post-not-apocalypse where they are navigating what a ‘normal’ relationship looks like for them.

I’ll Be Cleaning Up Bottles With You On New Year’s Day by @sunriseseance

Sitting behind him on the windowsill, in a truth that still feels false, is Dave. Quiet, right now. Rubbing Klaus's neck. Kissing it occasionally. New clothes, even, though still only things Klaus saw Dave wear in life. The closest he came to fancy enough for New Year's was the outfit he wore on the night they first kissed. The dates still get muddled in his head. Dave still smells like Dave. Klaus can bring that back, too. The earthy-clean skin, the slight scent of sweat, the cotton of the polo. Something else, underneath all that. Something that Klaus could recognize anywhere, could follow to the end of the world, could die to protect.

Rating: NR⎜Word Count: 1k+⎜Complete (1/1)

I know I’ve recced this and her fics before but this fic is so incredibly beautiful that it really is the perfect fit for being the final one I rec for this event. Reading it feels like warmth. It’s a concentrated dose of the exact kind of happiness that Klaus and Dave share at the best of times. I love it, and I love them, and I love her, and I love everyone in this fandom who is sharing their love with everyone by posting their creations <3

thanks for this week nine days of positivity, @tuafeedbackfest and everyone who participated!

#tuafeedbackfest #tua fic rec #the ship that taught me that love is real and the gays invented it #it's my Klaus and Dave tag because I felt like I understood more about what love means after reading some of these fics about them #ooof I got a lot of sappy feelings fam #long post

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Public Sex

There were a lot to look through for this one so I’m bound to make mistakes. Let me know if I forgot a whole category of public sex or what fics I’m missing from this list.

** PDA (no smut) ** Outdoor/Tent/Car Sex ** With People Around Them ** Public Bathroom ** Other Public Sex

***** PDA (no smut) *****

nape of his neck he made his descent by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug (232 words)

where is home? by retts (576 words) - Moving in, the Isak and Even way

Seriøst? by CiaraSky (716 words) - Isak and Even go Ice Skating.

can i borrow a kiss? by spoopydumpling (1.2k words) - The boys pregame at Isak and Even’s place, then head off to a party with a large amount of drinking and a whole lot of flirting.

We are by ReadingDreams07 (1.4k words) - The au where Isak starts to do more PDA because the first years wouldn’t stop looking at this boyfriend.

Let’s go home by nneazzz (1.5k words) - This is a sequel to Evak texting:) Light PDA. Some homophobia.

For science by nofeartina (1.9k words) - The smut in this is not in public. Prompt fill for: Isak getting all worked up from “neck stuff” at inappropriate times

(Not so) Public Displays of Affection by radiantarrow (2.3k words) - five times Isak was comfortable with PDA around his friends, and the one time he was comfortable with it in public

Push by nofeartina (2.9k words) - So, normally, Even tries to be supportive of Isak’s ban on PDA. But sometimes, like tonight, he just hates it. (With smut)

affection by alotofphandoms (3.3k words) - Isak notices something enticing Even starts doing, and Isak can’t help getting flustered every time.

***** Outdoor/Tent/Car Sex *****

ease away by Skamtrash (984 words) - Even turns Isak on while eating a banana. They fuck it out in the backyard.

Cotton Candy Pink by riyku (1.4k words) - It’s the kinda place where a seventeen year old boy in knee highs and a short schoolgirl skirt can belly up to the bar and order a beer for himself and another for his boyfriend, and the bartender won’t say a word. Dark alley sex.

Frisky by evaksskam (1.8k words) - “Officer, I know you’re frisking me and all, but what the fuck? Your hand is on my dick?” Isak asked, trying to keep calm. Car sex.

Pulls Me In Enough to Keep Me Guessing by plumclouds (2.2k words) - Even partakes in a traditional hunt. He doesn’t expect anything to come out of it, but the night has many surprises in store. They’re all named Isak.

Packing Heat by Laika_the_husband (2.3k words) - Even and Isak are lost on a road trip. There is an airsoft gun in the glove compartment. Isak really likes the way Even looks holding it. Car sex.

if you know you’re in love and he feel like the one by orphan_account (2.4k words) - A sequel. “Are we going to your place?” “Nah, my parents are home,” “So… the car? We’ll park somewhere?” Isak asks, smiling shyly.

Mouse Hunt by Laika_the_husband (2.4k words) - A fluffy smutty summery fun with Isakitty and his kitten daddy Even. Isak has arranged a surprise for Even, to explore felinity further. Forest sex.

Come For Me by cami_soul (2.6k words) - Isak and Even go camping, but I don’t really talk about the camping. lol Very light Dom/Sub action. Even pushing Isak’s boundaries, in a good way.

you the one that i’m feeling, you the one that i’m loving by orphan_account (3.1k words) - A sequel. “I’m horny,” Isak breathes out against his neck as he plants a wet kiss there. Even knows he must taste like sweat. “We need to go somewhere so you can fuck me.” They fuck outside.

I want everything with you by MeOnly (3.1k words) - Isak and Even goes out to the countryside to hike in the mountains and camp. Even will soon move to Stockholm to study at the University and how it will affect the two of them is still unclear. They need to talk … and maybe use that tent too.

The second time I followed you home by Tuii (3.5k words) - When they had left Oslo at the end of May to do a tour of the Scandinavia, there was no way he would have thought he would find this beautiful boy in Denmark. That he would fall in love and end up traveling with him instead of his own squad. Camping.

what I have is right here by arindwell (3.5k words) - Listen, it’s not like Even’s been pining away for Isak, stuck in the hot swelter of summertime Oslo. He’s been fine on his own, really. Outdoor sex plus bearded Isak.

in the backcountry by Jules1398 (3.7k words) - Isak hates camping, but his time at Nissen has come to a close and his friends wanted to do a big trip together, so he figures three days in Ytre Hvaler National Park can’t be that bad until he finds out they’re camping in the backcountry. Luckily he meets a dashing blond guy with space in his tent that’s near actual bathrooms.

Long Boi Season by Laika_the_husband (3.8k words) - humanoid. Long bois are in season and Isak is determined to catch himself one. He gets what he wished for, and more. Forest sex.

these are just a couple of my cravings by Treehouse (4.2k words) - A festival a couple of hours drive from Oslo, just the two of them. There’s always people around them, in kollektivet, at Even’s place and Even has longed for this - to have Isak to himself. Sex in a camper.

the thing you didn’t know you wanted by Treehouse (4.5k  words) - Isak feels his cheeks go red just from looking at the box. He reads the short description on the side. Male vibrating prostate massager. Wireless remote control, USB charger, seven stimulation patterns. Fuck. A little bit of balcony sex.

Take a deep breath, baby (let me in) by nofeartina (4.5k words) - Even only pauses for a brief second before he continues zipping the tent closed and says, “You or me?” Isak turns around all the way and he’s such a sight like this. On his knees, face tilted down, eyes half-lidded and seductive. Tent sex.

Burning One Hell of a Something by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5k words) - Even’s sharp inhale was audible, and suddenly it seemed as though all the air in the tent had been removed. The whole atmosphere felt electrically charged, and Isak could feel his entire body thrumming with anticipation like it was a livewire. Tent sex.

Sommernatt by Bewa (5.1k words) - Even grabs his hand and start walking, pulling Isak along. “You know how I don’t like not knowing what’s about to happen?” Isak says as they walk across the road and down to the river close by. “I know.” Even giggles. “That’s why it’s so much fun.” Swimming.

In the backseat by sherllycolmpels (5.3k words) - It takes Even a few moments to see what Isak is doing, but when he sees, he has a really hard time looking at the road in front of them.

Back to the Backseat by sherllycolmpels (2.7k words) - A sequel. The one where Isak and Even are doing it in the backseat of their car. Again. Plus bathroom sex in the beginning.

Summer by DickAnderton (5.8k words) - Isak and Even have been crushing on each other for a whole year when their paths finally cross at a hipster music festival during summer break and they spend the night together.

All of Me by MinilocIsland (5.9k words) - Luckily, Isak knows just how to catch Even when he falls. (Or, as in this case: when his attempt at taking Isak camping doesn’t go as planned).

(I know, I know) I make it hard to let go by colazitron (6.2k words) - Isak and Even go camping. Isak wants to look at the stars. Even wants to look at Isak. One thing leads to another.

(all its own work, no) vacation by colazitron (1.7k words) - A sequel. Isak and Even are feeling a little frisky after waking up on the morning of their overnigh camping trip.

live happily with sugar on by colazitron (9k words) - While Even tries to work up the courage to approach the cute boy on the tram, the cute boy approaches him. Berries are involved. And a garden.

Take Me As I Am by givemesumaurgravy (9.9k words) - the one in which Isak is the coach of Even’s daughter’s football team and Even likes Isak’s bum. One day there’s a parent football game and Isak, just maybe, starts hitting on Even and, just maybe, Even gives in. Roadhead.

RoadHead by Skamtrash: Chapter 1 - Its the beginning of summer and Even and Isak are on a roadtrip to Even’s cousins house to ring in the summer. Car sex   Chapter 2 - Even’s cousins are throwing a pool party later. Even cant stop touching Isak in the pool.    Chapter 5 - In the woods.  

Nowhere to go (now) by nofeartina (12k words) - This fic is part of the amazing series, Rearranged. It’ll be best to read the previous parts first. Things are good, it’s so fucking comfortable between them that Isak is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Balcony sex at a party.

Trollbundet/Spellbound by Crazyheart (16k words) - A summer fling soulmate AU. Isak has graduated from Nissen and he’s attending Trolsk (Enchanting), an alternative Fair/music festival with his friends. When he meets a guy called Even, they bond. However, Even is reluctant about bonding. Is a summer fling all they will have?

Can you feel the Love tonight? by skambition (17k words) - When Even let his gaze scan the masses, he caught a pair of green eyes staring at him shamelessly. Even raised an eyebrow, before looking the guy up and down. Tent sex. DELETED :( 

Skamløs by Skamtrash (18k words) - Even is Isak’s professor and they have a thing going on. Car sex. DELETED :(  

Beneath the Milky Way by sweetfire (31k words) - Isak is looking forward to a trip into the Norwegian wilderness with his friends before they all start their post-Nissen lives, hoping to get in some relaxation and bonding time with them. Cue Even, their hot wilderness guide, who instantly turns Isak into a flustered, blushing mess.

An Affair by skamsnake (33k words) - ‘An Affair’-inspired AU, featuring a sweet and innocent substitute teacher and a hot and confident third year student in all the scenes we already know and love. Sex in the woods. DELETED :(  

***** With People Around Them *****

Not so boring movie after all by Tuii (623 words) - Isak’s mind easily wonders to sex. And without actually doing it on purpose, he notices that his hand is wondering up on Evens thigh, towards his croch. At the movie theater.

prompts and one shots by noeller: Chapter 3 - Isak blows Even while their friends sit right in front of them   Chapter 4 - 3 times their friends accidently find out way too much about their sex life   Chapter 5 - Their friends see the scratches on Even   Chapter 6 - Magnus walks in on them having sex  

The Dance Floor by Tuii (1k words) - The club is full of people and noise and lights but Even has eyes only for his own man, those long legs and that amazing ass and his long neck and beautiful lips. On the dance floor.

Bus Drabble by Laika_the_husband (821 words) - A tiny little thing where Isak plays with Even on a bus ride. Just some silly filth.

Magnus is Confused About Gay by lovetommo (1.1k words) - Magnus kinda spies on Isak and Even a little bit.

The Things You Do by Skamtrash (1.2k words) - Even gets Isak off during a meeting in the auditorium

Kinky Boys by Skamtrash (2.7k words) - Even has a exhibitionism kink, he likes getting frisky in public. On a road trip with the boys, the couple tries to fulfill Evens needs

Masters of Impatience by Victory4 (3.5k words) - Isak is being a bit of a brat to everyone. Even knows how to chill him out. All while they’re having a movie night with their friends.

we’re lost in the heat of the moment (and i’m moving in you) by empty_venom (6.3k words) - Thanks to Eskild, Isak had no choice but to wear a tiny, skimpy, black cheerleaders outfit with Daddy emblazoned across the front of the crop top to a party where he meets Even and ends up on his lap in a room full of people.

The Beach by Laika_the_husband (7.4k words) - The one where they get banned from the beach

Chapter 4 of Hand In Hand by unfancyandy (10k words) - Even gets handsy in a movie theater.  

Oslo 05:59 by unfancyandy (15k words) - Isak meets a young man one night during a gay orgy at an underground sex club in Oslo. After building a special connection, they meet outside the club where they realize not everything was as perfect as it seemed.

***** Public Bathroom *****

cherry popsicle by cammm (1.1k words) - Even sucks his popsicle like it’s a dick and Isak says something about it. And then it escalates.

maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea by evenplussisak (1.1k words) - Isak and Even have sex in the bathroom where they first met

The one where they dance real close by colazitron (1.3k words) - They’re definitely not the only ones on the dancefloor taking things a little Far, but they go to find the bathroom anyway.

Monday 12:46 by anaisanais (1.6k words) - Even sexts Isak during class and they decide to ditch classes.

bathroom visits by cammm (1.7k words) - Isak steals Even away at lunch to go have some fun in the bathroom.

You Get Me Fired Up by HazyCosmicJive (2.8k words) - Isak has a public bathroom kink. Isak fucks Even in a university bathroom

i guess we should get a room by orphan_account (2.8k words) - Isak and Even are horrible hosts and friends. Technically it’s not a public bathroom but their friends are right there in their apartment.

so you play it wild by birthmarks (orphan_account) (3.1k words) - Before, during, and after Isak and Even made out at school on that fateful Wednesday.

I’ll Come With My Boyfriend by glbertblythes (3.1k words) - isak is kind of in love with even – isak kind of asks even to be his pretend boyfriend to a wedding.

Peep Show by riyku (3.5k words) - This might be the kinkiest thing Isak’s ever done, the only kinky thing he’s ever done, but he’s committed to it by now, and screw it, he’s gonna give this guy something worth watching. Plus exhibitionism.

The Booth by Laika_the_husband (5.3k words) - Featuring genderplay, glory hole, and Magnus.

Orion’s Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line. University bathroom.

When I See You, I Keep Getting Chills by plumclouds (8.8k words) - Isak is asked to be Even’s tutor by his teachers. It doesn’t go like anyone’s expecting it to.

Back to Back by unfancyandy (13k words) - 5 times Isak’s obsessed with Even’s back and 1 time it’s a little different. A little bit of bathroom sex.

we still fuck by evak1isak (13k words) - Isak and Even had broken up. Period. But they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

For Your Little Trooper by colazitron, nofeartina (15k words) - It’s bad enough that he has to sit here with his hand around his dick, milking his knot, in the school toilets no less - but apparently now he has company. Or the one where they meet while knotting in the school toilets. Public masturbation.

All this and heaven too by champagneleftie, nofeartina (28k words) - The first time, it’s just a hookup, a quick blowjob in a club bathroom. The next time Isak pretends he’s never seen him before. But maybe that’s because they’re at church. And the pastor is Isak’s dad.

A Silky Nightmare by Fxckxxp (40k words) - This is an AU set in the summer of 1970 based on the coordinates in the season 3 Skam header, which leads to Kjærlighetskarusellen (the love carousel): a public urinal doubling as a secret meeting spot for gay men before homosexual acts were decriminalized in Norway.

Alphabet Aerobics by nofeartina : Chapter 3: Z - Bathroom at a party sex.  Chapter 13: U - University bathroom sex. 

(WIP) take me to the stars by iriswests (230k words) - last update Aug 2017. Isak thinks Even is pretentious and impractical. Even thinks Isak is arrogant and uptight. They’re not each other’s biggest fans, even if they do happen to have spectacular sex on a very, very drunken night. They have public sex somewhere in chapter 5.

***** Other Public Sex *****

Smutty Tumblr Prompts and Drabbles by isaksforelsket: Chapter 4 - Isak is really loud in bed  Chapter 7 - This one should be in the 'with people around’ category but it’s easier to put it here.   Chapter 11 - Vibrator in public  

Work by Tuii (1k words) - “Put your headphones on, sit and watch.” says the message from Isak and it’s followed with a link to a Youtube video.

But if you are, I am quite alright, hiding today by notcooljimmysteve (1.1k words) - They go to the beach.

you can still see my ankles by cammm (1.3k words) - Isak and Even go clothing shopping. Even hates it. His height makes shopping difficult but Isak is a good boyfriend. He tried his best to cheer Even up. Implied public sex. No smut.

Vibrator by evak1isak (2.1k words) - Even buys Isak a vibrator which he can control so that his boyfriend can have it on all day. Isak, though, didn’t expect his friends to find out. (They don’t actually have sex in public)

let’s go somewhere they might discover us (sometimes it’s better when it’s publicly) by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even and Isak fuck in a classroom.

Psycho by sensualstalker (2.4k words) - Even goes looking for Isak after school only to find him doing a different kind of after school activity. Locker room, shower sex.

poolside convo by ohsusie (2.4k words) - "Isak,” he says, swimming closer until they’re right in front of each other, looking into each other’s eyes, and Isak’s probably trying to tell him to stop, they can’t lose this stupid bet, but Even can’t handle it anymore and wraps his arms around him, pulling him closer. “Fuck, baby. You drive me crazy.” Pool sex.

Take me Higher by HazyCosmicJive (3k words) - “Hey lets sneak off and fuck in the locker room”. “Wtf Even, no”

just a little bit out of my limit by theyellowcurtains (3k words) - Isak is pissed about where he got placed for work experience, that is until he meets his fine ass supervisor.

Fitnessboys. by Krumme (5.8k words) - Isak promised Eskild to go to the gym. Even is, of course, there. First meeting. Pining, eventual smut.

watch me fall at your feet (all to make you feel complete) by empty_venom (6.1k words) - They’ve been out Christmas shopping for almost two hours now, and Isak’s been bored since about thirty minutes in. And when Isak gets bored, Isak gets annoying. Changing room fun.

Overtime by Laika_the_husband (6.5k words) - Isak smiles as he steps inside and opens his messenger bag. He pulls out a black toiletry bag and when he sees how Even’s eyes are glued onto it he feels like purring. Yes. He has brought the mobile sex kit with him. He is prepared to use it. Office sex plus sex tape.

Winter Cabin by alijan (7.5k words) - The boys overhear Isak and Even at the cabin.

More than enough by nofeartina (7.7k words) - Sounds travel in Kollektivet. Which is a problem when you can’t keep your hands off each other and Linn and Eskild are eating breakfast in the kitchen next door. But then you’ll just have to (try to) be quiet…

Where the Lovelight Gleams by Sabeley (7.9k words) - the one where Even and Isak are stuck at different Christmas parties, but they’re determined to have sex anyway. Phone sex in a public place.

I’m Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Lifeguard Even. Shower sex.

(WIP) Loud and clear by Bulle (9.7k words) - Isak is loud when it comes to what goes down in bed. It’s not just quiet moans and small whines. It’s loud moans, whines and he’s awfully verbal too.

The Lifeguard by evak1isak (11k words) - In which Isak and his friends spend some weeks at Eva’s cabin during the summer, and Isak happens to develop a crush on the local pool’s lifeguard.

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he’s agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There’s nothing exciting for him there. Right?

I call'em as I see'em…But Sometimes I Don’t See So Well by HazyCosmicJive (15k words) - Isak just wants to study, he doesn’t want a new roommate who walks around naked all the time and constantly tests his patience. Featuring gym locker room sex.

Blanket Fort Gospel by Sabeley (58k words) - Isak Valtersen met the love of his life when he was eleven years old. It was a truth he had long tried to deny, but it was the truth nevertheless. Church sex.

#evak fic rec #skam fic rec #look at all of these #good job you guys #and thank you for blessing us with amazing smut #public

[worddevourer]

On Reblogs:

Okay, so I don’t know if everyone knows about this, but there’s a button you can click on posts now that lets you see the reblogs, and specifically, as an expanding web.  So, for example:

This post has 23 reblogs.  I am the purple one, and the initial post is the yellow one.

Initially, I started looking at this because notes don’t tell you if someone reblogs a post from someone who reblogged it from you unless you’re OP, and then I realized that this kind of web is actually really heckin’ cool.

So, in the above example, we see OP makes a post. Minimal interest, just me and one other person.

Two reblogs further, though, something interesting happens:  Suddenly, a bunch of people are reblogging.  Now, in general, I’d guess this is because that big one is a popular blog (relatively speaking), but, because I know this post, I know that that’s actually OP again.  OP reblogs the post, and gets much more reaction, in this case because they posted a fic prompt, and I wrote it.  I’m not that popular, but they are, so when it hits them again, things kick off a bit more.

So, let’s take another post, this one significantly more popular:

OP, as you can tell, is pretty popular.  This was a piece of fanart, and this net is 600 reblogs (Out of 612, more on that in a second).  So what do we see?  We see OP, with small blogs following them, and we see that they have several followers with a significant number of followers of their own.  In a few cases, we get chains maybe 8 deep.  Mostly, though, this is a centralized map.

At a guess, this would be because this is fanart.  Ye Olde Average fandom is probably going to be pretty centralized; people who are big in the fandom, like OP clearly is, are already going to have a significant number of the people who would reblog it anyway.

Again, same OP, with a very similar look.  Fewer big reblog spikes, but at the same time, that’s presumably for the same reason OP has a smaller bubble at the center; this post had somewhat lower rebloggability.

Now, these posts had about 23, 90-some, 600 reblogs respectively.  Let’s take a look at one that gets a bit more out there:

This is the first 600 notes on a post with 17k reblogs.  Compare this with the 600 on the post above, and it’s obvious that this post is something else entirely.  The reblogs are decentralized, with chains springing up wildly, spreading like vines.

Now, compare that image to the first 600 influential reblogs on another similarly sized post.  They’re different post, but apart from spreading off of multiple different chains, they’re functionally identical in construction.

Now, the primary difference I can find between these posts is a matter of reach:  In the 17k ones, the content of the post was widely understandable, with the only barrier to understanding being a few bits of knowledge that are pretty standard on here.  The first two, meanwhile, are fanart.  They’re compelling to a certain group of people, but beyond that...  If you’re not part of the fandom, you probably won’t reblog them.

I’m sure there’s somewhere to go with all of this, but for now, it’s just kind of cool to look at the trees. (Also, I really wish they’d boost the power on this thing; maxing out at 600 reblogs is really limiting on bigger posts.)

[styleandsin]

BEST FICS OF 2017 there have been so many amazing fics posted this year, i couldn’t possibly include them all (or read them all), but these are 25 of my personal favorites that i have read! i’m really looking forward to reading the ones i have yet to get to from this year and all the wonderful fics that will be posted in 2018! :) happy reading everyone!

Go Nowhere Tonight by objectlesson (12k)

As always, the easy nonchalance with which he treats the rumors hurts, stabs Harry in the gut, twists the knife. Because it is hard for Harry; it’s hard to know people think they should be or are together because he wants that. Wants it so fucking badly, and it would be one thing if he could just silently quarantine that part of himself and pine secretly, but instead he’s faced with fictionalized accounts of his and Louis’s nonexistent love life and photoshopped pictures of them being coupley every time he’s on the internet. It is hard, and the fact that it supposedly isn’t for Louis functions as proof that it’s unrequited. “It’s gonna be a rude awakening for them,” he starts, gazing into his empty glass, “when we eventually come out but are dating other people. No one likes being half-right.”

—

Or, the aftermath of a very tense dinner party.

That’s How I Know by allwaswell16 (17k)

Louis Tomlinson has just landed his dream job, coaching soccer at Augustus University. When he moves into a new house near campus, he meets his very fit new neighbor, English professor Harry Styles. Although their first meeting leads to an instant mutual dislike, the more Harry gets to know Louis, the more he likes what he sees.

Or the one where Harry’s African grey parrot spills his dirty secrets to his very hot neighbor.

we’ve got to get away from here by suspendrs (23k)

“It is my understanding that you are the most comprehensive member of this agency in the field of extraterrestrial life, is that right?” the agent asks. He’s trying to sound calm, but Louis can tell he’s shaken as well.

“Um, I guess so,” Louis says, glancing over at the man in the blanket again.

Suddenly, Louis’s blood runs cold. There’s something off about the man, something in his gaze, something Louis can’t put his finger on. It’s terribly unsettling, but excitement bubbles in his gut.

Or, Louis is an FBI agent who likes to think himself a paranormal expert, and Harry is the alien that somehow ended up in his office.

Hearts Don’t Break Around Here by sincewewereeighteen (26k)

“Another car has stopped at the beginning of the carpet. People are going to collapse any time soon, and Louis knows why.

Harry Styles has just arrived. And Louis. Well. Louis is a grown man. He curses himself a hundred times for even letting his heart race in his chest. He knew they were bound to meet tonight. What the hell is wrong with him?”

Or: the one in which Harry’s having his big movie debut and Louis sings on its soundtrack.

rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied (29k)

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer. AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn’t be complicated (spoiler: it is).

Swallow My Words by YesIsAWorld (32k)

Senior year is stressful. On top of balancing school work, family, and friends, Harry’s lacrosse team is vying to win the state championship, he’s not sure where he’s going to college yet, and he has a secret boyfriend that no one can know about.

Love is the Right Place by chelseafrew (33k)

They met when they were seven and five. Louis was a new kid in a new town and Harry was a blind kid in need of a friend. They hit it off immediately, each of them exactly what the other needed. Over the years, friendship turns to more. Just as their romance blossoms, however, Louis gets an offer which promises fame and fortune far from home. Will they be pulled apart or will their love survive?

Life Was a Song, You Came Along by rainbowninja167 (37k)

It’s embarrassing how long it takes Louis to recognize his own song. Niall had sung it as a bright, hopeful love song, and that’s honestly how Louis had always assumed it should sound. But this new voice, slow and rough, stripped of any backing instrument, has infused the lyrics with just the tumultuous mix of fear and defiance that Louis can remember so clearly from the night he wrote them. It’s not a comfortable thing, to feel like someone is singing all your secrets back to you.

Louis is a songwriter trapped in a lie that could ruin his best friend’s career. Harry owns a record store, distrusts everyone in the music industry on principle, but loves Niall Horan’s newest album. A modern retelling of Singin’ in the Rain.

Looking Through You by allwaswell16 (41k)

Just as Louis and Liam were starting out in the music industry, writing and producing for up and coming artists, a fateful meeting with new pop singer Harry Styles changes everything. Four years later, just as Harry is set to embark on his next world tour, a drunken confession causes a rift between once inseparable friends. As Harry tries to make sense of his feelings for Louis, he begins writing his next album to express them as it may be the only way to break through the walls that Louis has built between them.

Be with me so happily by BriaMaria (42k)

Harry Styles may have had his doubts at first, but by the time the gates to the elephant sanctuary came into view he was one hundred percent positive. Louis Tomlinson hated his guts. Like hated, hated. Like loathed-him-on-sight hated.

From what Harry could tell, he hadn’t even done anything close to insulting enough to warrant the disdain that was Louis Tomlinson’s default expression whenever he looked at Harry. It really wasn’t fair. Especially since he’d been lusting after the man from the second he’d laid eyes on that pretty, pretty face with those pretty, pretty eyes.

Or … the one where Harry Styles has a bad reputation and a heart of gold, and Louis Tomlinson wishes he wasn’t so enchanted by boys who looked like Disney characters and wore shirts with bumble bees on them.

[aka Louis is the director of the Styles Elephant Sanctuary and really doesn’t want to babysit his funder’s spoiled lay-about son for two months]

tangled up in you by missandrogyny (45k)

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn’t want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

The Little Things That Keep Us Going by panda_bear21 (46k)

Harry wakes up in the hospital, unable to remember his children’s first steps, their hugs, their stories. Or the soft way their babysitter always used to smile and laugh with him.He knows he’s not recalling something important, a lot of things that are important. But he wants to know what they are so incredibly badly… wants to know why his heart is set ablaze, warm and fluttering, every time Louis looks at him.

Love’s Truest Language by summerwine (48k)

The first part was meant as a joke. He didn’t really expect Harry to buy anything. It was just Louis’ way of softening the ‘get the fuck out’ blow.

“Where’s your order forms, then?”

“I don’t want your flowers.” Louis chided before directing all of his attention to the arrangement in front of him.

Harry laughed under his breath as he stood to his full height, “Who said anything about them being for you, love?”

We’ll Be Seamless by dinosaursmate (52k)

Green reblogged an old photo of himself. It was from back in October, a Halloween special. A pulse shot all the way through Louis because this photo was his absolute favourite, and it had taken the rest of the year for him to wean himself off of it.

Green was on his knees, arms stretched out in front of him with his fingertips digging into the surface of his bed. He was wearing a pair of cat ears on his head, his curls falling forward. His back was arched, and in the foreground of the picture, Green’s bum was high in the air, a long, black cat tail sitting neatly between his cheeks. — Louis spends all his spare time scrolling arty nude blogs on Tumblr but amongst them all, Green is his favourite.

Here, There, and Everywhere by harioandlouigi (54k)

Louis was in a rut. He was still living in the same small Texas town he’d hated all his life, he was about to graduate with a degree he’d never been interested in, and he was hooking up with a guy he didn’t even like just because it was probably his only chance to be with another man.

And then someone else’s overindulgences triggered a series of events that lead to where Louis is now, touring the world as a roadie for Harry Styles.

I Walk the Line by Awriterwrites (55k)

Professor Louis Tomlinson is the leading researcher in his field. Harry Styles is Louis’ recently hired grad assistant. Sparks fly between them but something doesn’t add up when it comes to Harry, and Louis is determined to find out what.

What happens when everything Louis thought he knew comes crashing down around him? Is he doomed to repeat his past mistakes? Or will he learn to follow his heart and find a way to forge his own path, alongside someone he’s not sure he can trust, but who might just be the best thing to ever happen to him.

Never Let Me Go by loveisalaserquest17 (55k)

“Harry! I’ll tell you what,” Louis exclaims, clapping his hands together. There’s a big grin on his face. “If both of us are still single by your thirtieth birthday, we’ll marry each other.”

Harry’s head snaps up, eyes widening. “What?” Harry and Louis have been friends forever, but they couldn’t be more different. One night, with a little too much alcohol, they make a pact to marry in ten years if they’re both still single. Now, one month before the deadline, Louis is willing to do whatever it takes to avoid ending up with his best friend. But is he, really? | Loosely inspired by The 10 Year Plan

Falling For Me Won’t Be A Mistake by Rearviewdreamer (58k)

Harry is married to his job and so overworked that he doesn’t know how to stop. All it takes is a forced Hawaiian get-a-away, the warm tropical breeze of the island, and the most beautiful, elusive man he’s ever seen to make him remember what living is like outside of work. Well, that, and the little souvenir he accidentally takes home with him.

Don’t Want Shelter by FullOnLarrie (76k)

Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago…When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families’ old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.During the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other.

Perfect Storm by cherrystreet (80k)

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

through struggles, to the stars by thedeathchamber (80k)

Louis is a Starfleet captain trying to find his place in the universe. Harry is a prince just trying to do what’s right.

A Star Trek-inspired AU.

Pour Your Heart Out by hrrytomlinson (92k)

Louis is his soulmate. Or at least Harry thinks he is. Louis feels the same as Louis. But there are a lot of people named Louis in the world and this Louis might not be the Louis. It’s besides the point though, because Harry knows he can’t allow himself to get close to any boys. He just can’t and he’s told himself this multiple times. He has to simply stay away from Louis Tomlinson. But he can’t. Harry Styles can never stay away from Louis Tomlinson. It’s physically impossible for him to.

Resist Everything Except Temptation by domesticharry (100k)

The lethargic sound of heels clicking against wood resonated across the sea. Footsteps descended the staircase, every assured step creating a menacing aura as it grew closer. Perspiration gathered along Louis’ palms as the rhythmic sound halted in front of him.

“Captain,” Malik greeted.

Louis watched out of his peripheral as Malik’s boots shuffled back a few steps. Sweat matted the hair along the nape of Louis’ neck as he waited for something to happen. He felt as if a sharp blade was twisting his gut as the silence became tangible. There was a metallic slide of a sword being pulled out of its sheath, the sound startling Louis out of his cocoon of sterile shock. His shoulders jumped as the tip of a blade flattened underneath his jaw. Louis’ distorted reflection stared back at him in the polished metal. Engraved rose petals twisted his appearance as they crawled up the length of the sword. The sword lifted and took Louis’ chin with it.

Standing in front of Louis was Captain Styles.

Or the one where Louis is the commodore’s son who is forced to become a part of Harry’s crew when he is captured.

got the sunshine on my shoulders by hattalove (124k)

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist. he didn’t have much regard for what he left behind - a life, a family, and a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want: he’s rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he’s forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past - and louis, who’s spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

(or, an au based on the movie sweet home alabama.)

Your Mess Is Mine by amory (176k)

Louis is the father to the most brilliant little boy in the world who is all Louis really needs, or at least that’s what he tells himself. Harry is a gorgeous boybander fresh off a two year break and a massive scandal that’s left him a little broken and more than ready to move on.

They fall in love.

#larry stylinson fic rec #larry stylinson #it's taken me weeks to choose which fics to include #and i didn't plan to post this until closer to new years #but i decided people may want some fic recs for their holiday breaks #so here you are! #fic rec #*