#absence of hawkeye

[quordleona03]

SO6E19: What's Up Doc

In this episode, the A and the B plot take off from the same moment in OR, and go in very different directions. The A plot is, Hawkeye noting that Margaret seems unusually irritatable in OR - BJ is trying to operate on Lieutenant Tom Martinson, he's shoving the mask away, going "No!" and Margaret moves in and positions the mask to the man goes under, telling the nurse off for not doing her job right. BJ says: "Don't start a fight, or we'll be sent to the principal's office."

While Margaret is holding the mask over Martinson's face, BJ's helpful response is "Hey, Margaret, take it easy. She just doesn't like a guy who grabs."

Margaret tells the nurse off, and BJ tells Margaret "As an officer and a gentleman, you should forgive and forget."

Hawkeye's move is to follow Margaret and check in with her, find out why she's so irritable, and this is all good stuff, but let's follow the Martinson plot while Hawkeye is focussing on Margaret.

BJ and Charles are sharing post-off duty: BJ is examining the patient he was operating on when Margaret lost her temper: Lieutenant Tom Martinson.

"How's that shoulder feel, Martinson? I think I did a bang-up job on your bang-up even if I do say so myself."

Martinson asks unhappily "You're gonna send me back up there, aren't ya, Doc?" BJ says "You're ambulatory now. *checks wristwatch* You'll be out of here by noon Thursday."

BJ adds "You're lucky. That's when our rates change." Hawkeye isn't there. Hawkeye is focussing his entire attention on Margaret. BJ - I think - is trying to be Hawkeye. Hawkeye would crack a joke to cheer up a depressed patient in post-op: so BJ does. And when the patient doesn't laugh, BJ laughs for him: a very forced laugh.

Martinson rolls his eyes at BJ.

What would Hawkeye's reaction have been to a patient rolling his eyes at a joke? BJ's reaction is: "I don't remember. Did I remove your sense of humor?"

Martinson's response to BJ? "

"Knock it off, Doc. This morning I was leading and retreated smack into a minefield. That shrapnel you removed from my shoulder is what's left of my sergeant's helmet. He was right next to me when the mine went up."

BJ reacts:

Martinson says "I am not going back. I won't go back."

BJ says: "I know how you must feel."

BJ, apparently realising that Hawkeye-style jokes aren't going to work, sticks his hands in his pockets, and Martinson says: "You think it's because I'm scared, don't you?"

BJ, attempting to be sympathetic: If you are, you're not alone, soldier."

BJ sits down. Martinson says "I am not a soldier. I never was a soldier. I thought R.O.T. C.would keep me out of active duty."

BJ's answer is "Should've read the fine print."

Martinson points out he's an art history major, and when he was drafted, he assumed the army would put him somewhere relevant - just as they did BJ. BJ quips "I think the marines are the only ones with an art history division."

This DOES NOT HELP. Martinson points out that an art history degree taught him nothing about leading men into action, and his inexperience got his sergeant killed.

BJ: "Look, Martinson, you can't blame yourself for that."

And Martinson, quite reasonably, says "Get out of here, will you? Just leave me alone." So BJ does.

Charles cannot resist a little prodding, but the fact is, Charles' is right: "Bedside manner failing you, Hunnicutt?" - "Lay off, Winchester." "What's this, "Attila the Pun" has lost his sense of good humor? " BJ goes back later to try again. "Look, Tom. I hate this place, this war, just as much as you do. But there really isn't a whole hell of a lot we can do about it except cope with the situation as best we can."

BJ adds "That or rent a room in Leavenworth."

That look on Martinson's face. BJ's solution isn't a bad one. Hawkeye would likely have come to the same conclusion and made the same suggestion. But not in that form and not with that kind of visible reluctance - BJ literally coughs and raises his fist to his mouth before suggesting:

"I can recommend you be sent to Tokyo for psychiatric observation."

To which Martinson responds - irrationally, but BJ's way of introducing it wasn't great either - "I'm not letting headhunters get ahold of me and put in my records that I'm nuts.'This is to certify that Tom Martinson, Associate Professor of Art History - went bonkers in Korea'?"

BJ: "They're not there to brand you. They're there to help you."

"Will you slow down?"

Charles steps in, evidently believing that as a fellow Ivy Leaguer - Martinson graduated from Yale - he can better help a patient BJ has managed to antagonise. BJ gives up. "Be my guest."

Charles instructs BJ: "Don't - Don't go away. I think it's important you observe this."

The expression on BJ's face. It's fairly clear he has emotionally signed off on Martinson and now just wants to see Charles fail, too.

Charles Emerson Winchester III, Harvard graduate, is speaking to Tom Martinson, Yale graduate, and BJ is only amused.

"I could tell at once that you were a man of education and breeding. I guess the army is no place for a couple of - Ivy Leaguers like us Is it, Lieutenant?" Charles is the one who hands Martinson the backpack with his gun, and who nearly gets shot, but BJ is - having attempted to be Hawkeye without Hawkeye's unshakeable concern - primarily responsible for goading Martinson to the point where he decides taking a hostage to get out is the only option. Charles is only the last straw: BJ loaded it on.

Tom Martinson: "I'll shoot this man if I have to."

BJ: "Okay. Not that okay."

#what's up doc? #S06e19 #mash episode analysis #absence of hawkeye #charles emerson winchester #bj hunnicutt #charles x bj #tom martinson #art history #r.o.t.c. #Harvard #Yale #Ivy League #mash analysis #mashposting

[incorrectwinterhawk]

Bucky: I think I'm in love with Clint. Any thoughts?

Natasha: And prayers.

Bucky:

Natasha: You'll need them.

#i love buckynat too #but this is primarily a winterhawk blog #bucky barnes #clint barton #winter soldier #hawkeye #clintbucky #winterhawk #natasha romanoff #black widow #also apologies for the absence i've not had much inspiration lately

[xavier616]

"Or married person."

The More I See You || Episode Twenty-Two || Season Four

#hawkeye pierce #bj hunnicutt #hunnihawk #beejhawk #m*a*s*h #mash #fair warning I'm gonna be posting all three parts of this scene tonight like #it's a sporting event and not an over giffed scene from a decades old tv show because I love it #I know it's been talked about a lot but BJ isn't being mean here #Hawk is flighty and nervous because he thinks he's fucking up and he needs BJ to tell him what to do #and BJ can't do that he's not actually being judgemental #this is the total absence of judgement #like he wants Hawk to figure it out himself #john-irving gifs

[catgirladjacent]

M*A*S*H season 10 episode 17 “where there’s a will, there’s a war” dir. alan alda you make me SICK

#watching it for the first time and honest to god teary over it #BJ freaking out at hawkeye’s absence. margaret and hawkeye laughing together. BJ recognizing hawkeye by his sutures #klinger trading his best salami for a LIFE magazine with maine featured in it. writing to erin. #honest to god i damn near cried #‘‘hey. when i wake up remind me to give you a kiss’’ i’ll be sick #m*a*s*h #mash

[variousqueerthings]

today will ramble about why I hc Sidney Freedman as queer (leaning on gay and aro) (as of a third of the way through s6)

1. first of all there was this fic (sidenote: I do not know if all these mentions of Leavensworth are actually spoilers or not, but I am become 99% sure that Hawkeye will actually lose it at some point and briefly get hospitalised, don’t tell me though), which I read about 4ish seasons into the show and made me go... “huh, yeah, I could buy that” and has since continued to marinate in my brain, both because Hawkeye and Sid have a very particular relationship that Hawkeye doesn’t have with anyone else (which comes from Sid’s professional and narrative role), and because Sid has... a vibe

2. so then I thought about Sid’s role in the Narrative (covered here), and how that makes him an inherent outsider. He comes in to this established Place and disrupts the status quo. The interesting thing is of course that “disrupting the status quo as queercoding” is usually framed as villainous, whereas he does so for the betterment of his peers, whom he respects a great deal

3. and of course the status quo is already not particularly Straight by virtue of other characters and the general non-normative construction of gendered roles in these sorts of environments (in real life, as well as narratively) -- not just Klinger and Margaret, although they’re the two most obvious ones, but voiced generally through the idea of what women’s roles are in the home/the workforce + nurses speaking openly about sex in what feels like deliberate reversals of how the men talk about sex, Radar’s and Potter’s working relationship, and of course Hawkeye with everyone, but especially with BJ (and Charles may be new to me, but I hazard there’s a lot there too, not least the foppishness...) -- so the question is how does he disrupt the space?

4. Sid is most of an enigma of a person (and not in the caricatured way that Flagg Who Represents The Military In All Its Ridiculousness is), who comes in and allows all these characters’ vulnerabilities to come to the front, without having to share his own (because he’s a psychiatrist, that’s his Narrative Role as well as his military role) -- we don’t know much about him (yet, this may change), which means there’s a lot of easy projecting that can be done, but he is someone one can feel for. And what we do know is that there is... something... about the 4077 that draws him back. For whatever reason, what he needs is to be around a bunch of misfits like these on occasion, for his own health... misfits whom we’ve already covered exist in an incredibly non-normative set of relationship structures + of course the anti-military and anti-conformist sentiment (sidenote: something that Margaret’s tension centers around -- we did just have the episode with the dog....)

5. which, speaking of -- some characters beyond Hawkeye with whom I really like his interactions: Klinger and Margaret. Their frustrations and vulnerabilities in various ways center on being misfits amongst misfits in interesting gendered ways, and he talks with them about it better than anyone else, although Margaret is slowly opening up to others (especially Hawkeye, but it was always Sid who understood her first). He seems to feel deep compassion for people who live as contradictions, and he allows those contradictions to shine, if just for a moment

6. simply put: he queers the space around him, simply by letting them be even more them. The other characters’ feel no inhibitions or shame around him. His status as an outsider, his demeanour around them (sincerity, soft-spokeness, interest, lack of judgement) brings out whatever element of Them that they usually try to tamper down on. That’s, again, because it’s his Role, but it means his Character contains something hard to pin down (and that hard-to-pin-downness I choose to read as queer too)

7. he’s also got some interesting Gender -- his role is to listen, and especially to bring those ugly, terrified, “unmanly” emotions to the forefront and to work through them -- again without any shame attached to those emotions... unfortunately that’s still kind of a wild place for a guy to inhabit in a story (never mind in real life...) He exists to listen, to have compassion, to let others be vulnerable, and he’s very very good at it

8. also, purely technical and less “feelings” analysis, because of how he’s used in the story, his interactions have a habit of feeling very chemistry-laden, especially the ones he has with Hawkeye (whom I will not go into “why is queercoded” because there’s about a million gifsets and analyses on him and one little text-post could never do all that justice -- but also just “Hawk’s Nightmare”) + he hasn’t had a straight love story written for him. Apart from his desire to be present at the 4077 and to help others, he’s not really someone who’s written with wants so traditionally (it may or may not happen, shows like these tend to give everyone at least one romance arc, but so far he hasn’t, so he’s also got that distinction amongst the rest of the cast)

9. (the TL;DR of the first bit of that last point is that his interactions with Hawkeye are kinda sexy by the way, in case that wasn’t clear)

10. I could read him as ace, but I do take a lot from how he is around Hawkeye, not in a necessarily sexual way (lest you be fooled by point the ninth), but as an unspoken kinship that floats in the air between them. Their ease around each other is very particular in comparison to how they are around everyone else -- the aromanticism read comes from his desire to be at the 4077th, simply because it makes him feel better. An untraditional preference when searching for companionship/rest/support/family, even in narratives ostensibly about found families. To project, it’s not so far off from how I engage with my own particular aroness. I like to enter in and out of others’ lives, not disparate from them, so much as checking in on my families and spending quality time with them in R&R -- his place in the story feels familiar to me

11. what can I say, me and everyone in the story every time Sid’s around: 😍

#MASH #sidney freedman #margaret houlihan #hawkeye pierce #maxwell klinger #im watching MASH #long post #text post #some of these could of course change #i need to go back and watch his first episodes when i still wasnt sure what to make of him #not least because pat morita is in those episodes too #(still sad that i thought pat morita was a main until i started watching) #my problem with my OWN reading him as ace is that it would simply be as an absence of more data #(which is just how i do things although my mind is also quite changeable if you give me the right words) #anyway... creates Queer Character out of non-normative narrative functions is the tl;dr

[lukeskqwalker]

my feelings towards bj are absolutely wild because he really truely is Just Some Guy and also Genuinely Good on so many levels but every time he breaks it's in a way that implies he's masking at All Times. combine that with him lying often (and well) in canon as well as how he smiles when he's cruel and you just have a man that I'm frantically trying to uncover as I sniffle and wail over the agonies that occasionally and unwillingly bubble over

#GOSH tho I'm pretty sure 2 out of his 3 major breakdowns were done in front of Hawkeye #and the first one we saw.... Hawkeyes face makes me think he's done it in front of him before #GOD I love that the focus is on Hawkeye in that scene too #he's just leaning forward with a heartbroken and empty face on as bj slowly gets louder until he's screaming at the sky and kicking the dirt #then you visually see bj compose himself. walk back to Hawkeye. and then says that he's ready to go back. #screaming crying #GENUINELY I can't talk about the second breakdown I really can't it's. oof. #and the THIRD ONE..... #that entire episode was a lot #hawkeyes absence would louder than his presence. #especially with the way and context that bj said 'I love Hawkeye' #IM SOOOOO NORMAL #mash #bj hunnicutt

[drpierceandmrhyde]

It bothers me that we never see Millie while she’s alive. By only seeing people talk about her and not actually seeing her, she gets reduced to the Dead Woman Man Pain trope. She’s just a means for Hawkeye to learn a lesson, a lesson that in hindsight he didn’t really need to learn.

#yes Hawkeye jokes a lot but he has plenty of moments of sincerity #maybe Millie’s total absence is the point #because by extension the audience doesn’t get to know her either #but it still bothers me

[luna-rainbow]

One of the tragedies of Steve’s character assassination is that neither Sam nor Bucky were allowed to mourn his absence. Unlike with Nat, where Yelena and Clint were able to lay bare their grief during Hawkeye. Nominally, Steve went to lead “the life he wanted”, and the narrative was afraid to open the can of worms around how uncharacteristically irresponsible that was. Hence neither Sam nor Bucky could discuss his loss, nor could they voice their own negative emotions around his absence. Not only were they not allowed anger, but they were also deprived of grief and bewilderment and regret. There was a Steve-shaped hole in TFATWS, and as much as the narrative tried to pretend it didn’t exist, the story was warped by its unshakeable presence.

#tfatws critical #anti endgame

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

Healing Bonds

Yelena Belova x Fem!Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader(Past)

Summary: You find Yelena after Natasha, your ex-lover, has passed and you feel like it's your duty to keep Yelena close. What happens though when feelings rise up for the blonde Russian?

Word Count: 3.2K

Warnings: Lots of angst and hurt

A/N: So This idea had come to me after rewatching Endgame, Black Widow, and Hawkeye so here you go.

The first time you met Yelena Belova wasn't until after her sister and your ex-lover, Natasha Romanoff, died. Natasha had always talked about Yelena and how much she loved her. You cried when you first laid eyes on Yelena. The two looked nothing alike, and you were thankful for that because you don't think you could look at her if she did.

When you told Yelena who you were to Natasha, she cried, wishing for a million different scenarios in which her sister was still here with them, and all you could do was hug Yelena, which earned you a handful of punches. You learned quickly that Yelena could be a very violent person when dealing with certain emotions. The first time it happened, you let it. You let her get her aggression out.

"It's not fair! You had so much time with her! You got to be happy with her! Me? I got a mission that almost got us killed after 20 years of silence!" She yelled, and you just held her tighter. "I'm sorry, Yelena," You whispered over and over and over.

In those moments, as her fists collided with your body, you could feel the pain in her words. It wasn't just about Natasha's death; it was about the years lost, the missions that tore them apart, and the void left by the silence between them. You understood Yelena's anger, even if it was directed at you. It wasn’t as if she could direct it at the person she wanted to.

As the punches subsided, she finally collapsed into your arms, exhausted from the emotional storm that had consumed her. You sat there in silence for a while, the weight of Natasha's absence hanging heavily between the two of you. The room felt colder, emptier, and you couldn't shake the guilt that gnawed at you.

"I wish she had more time with you too, Yelena," You said softly, your words barely audible. Yelena didn't respond, but her grip on you tightened, seeking solace in your shared grief.

In the aftermath of that turbulent encounter, the two of you began a journey of healing together. You were bound by the love you had both lost, and as the two of you navigated the tangled web of emotions, a new connection formed. A connection born out of pain, but one that held the promise of understanding and, perhaps, even redemption in the face of the losses you both endured in the wake of the Snap and beyond.

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You ended up taking Yelena home with you, offering her a permanent place by your side. She continued going on missions, which you had expected. The first time she left without telling you, and there was no note. You thought you'd lost her forever, sitting on the back porch in the summer evening air, your Y/H/C hair whipping around you as silent tears fell.

You didn't hear her come in, not until she was next to you did you notice her presence. "Why are you crying?" Her accent, thick and familiar, filled your ears as you grabbed her, pulling her in tightly, close, your heart hammering in your chest. "I thought I'd lost you too... don't... don't fucking do that again, Yelena!" You yelled at her, your voice trembling as tears flowed freely.

Yelena's expression softened as she held you, understanding the fear that gripped you during her absence. "I had to go. It was a last-minute mission, and I didn't want to wake you," she explained, her words a mix of apology and reassurance.

"It doesn't matter. Just... just tell me next time, please," You pleaded, your grip on her not loosening. The relief of having her back overwhelmed the anger that had fueled your outburst.

Yelena nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "I promise. I'm sorry for making you worry," she said, her voice soothing. The two of you stayed there, entwined on the porch, the summer breeze carrying away the tension that had momentarily fractured your newfound connection.

From that day forward, Yelena kept her promise. She would leave for her missions, but not without a word or a note, ensuring that you wouldn't have to endure the heart-wrenching uncertainty of her absence again. In the quiet moments between her departures and returns, your bond deepened, and the scars of your shared losses began to heal, one mission at a time.

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You decided to form a company a little over a year after Natasha died, the weight of her absence still heavy in your heart. Standing at her grave, you whispered into the wind, "I'm going to start a company. I don't want to be an Avenger anymore. Not without you, but I can help others. I know I can." The breeze felt like Natasha's touch, a comforting caress that seemed to echo her approval.

"Yelena and I have been living together for six months now, Tasha. She's exactly as you described. A spitfire and a brat at times. I don't know if you can forgive me or not when I say this, but I could see myself with her. She's my type, a power bottom with a bratty side." You chuckled as the wind picked up. "Okay okay... I understand, only if she moves first," You whispered, as if seeking Natasha's consent in the elements around you.

Your company started up with few hiccups. You planned on making a business out of seeking out people with powers and talents that could be considered Avengers, teaming them up with a manager. Eventually, you aimed to expand to other countries, each with its own headquarters. The goal was to create a network of skilled individuals, ready to defend against threats on a global scale.

You envisioned a world where those of you left in America could stay here unless faced with a Thanos-level threat, something you fervently hoped would never happen again. The legacy of the Avengers would live on through this new venture, a tribute to Natasha and a commitment to protecting a world that had lost so much but still held the potential for hope and resilience.

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You come home to find Yelena sitting on the couch with a pot of mac & cheese covered in hot sauce, using a too-big spoon. "Y/N! I made mac & cheese! Would you like some?" she asks, and you’re too exhausted to yell at her. You sit next to her, taking the spoon and eating some. "How was your day?" she inquires.

"Stressful, Lena. More and more people are learning about my company, and we're getting more and more applications," You reply, leaning your head back against the couch, closing your eyes. You hear her set the pot down on the coffee table before she curls up against your side. "Anything I can do?" she asks.

You remind yourself of the promise you made to Natasha. "Whatever you think sounds good. You've known me for over a year now, Lena. What is it that you think I want? What will make me feel better?" You don't open your eyes or look at her. you’re testing her, and she knows it.

You feel her shift off the couch, and you clench your fists. She's never going to make the first move as you fiddle with the band on your ring finger—the one you haven't taken off since Natasha gave it to you.

Yelena returns with a blanket, draping it over both of you. "How about a movie night? We can just relax and take a break from all the chaos," she suggests, her voice soft. It's a simple gesture, but the warmth of her presence and the consideration behind her words start to ease the tension within you.

You nod, finally opening your eyes to meet hers. "Yeah, that sounds good, Lena," you admit, a small smile playing on your lips. Maybe in that moment, amidst the mac & cheese, the too-big spoon, and the movie night proposal, you found a way to let go, even if just for a little while.

Yelena picks the movie while you change into pajamas, a tank top and shorts. You notice her eyes on your body, but choose to ignore it for the time being as you make popcorn and pour us some vodka sprites. Carrying the drinks and popcorn over, Yelena has picked out John Wick. You can’t help but chuckle at the choice as you settle back into the couch. Yelena moves closer, fitting into you like a puzzle piece as she takes your left arm and wrap it around her shoulders. You simply smile at the gesture, sipping on your drink and eating popcorn as the movie plays out.

About halfway through the movie, you feel Yelena absent-mindedly playing with the band Natasha had given you. She's engrossed in the movie, and you watch her, finding her reactions more enthralling than the movie at this point. It's a subtle touch, her fingers tracing the contours of the ring on your finger, and you can't help but be drawn to the way she navigates the emotions tied to Natasha's memory.

As the scenes of John Wick unfold on the screen, you lean your head against Yelena's, savoring the comfort of the moment. Her actions speak louder than any words, and in the quiet intimacy of that movie night, you start to understand that healing doesn't always come from grand gestures or elaborate plans. Sometimes, it's found in the simplicity of sharing a movie, a drink, and the touch of someone who cares. And in those stolen glances and unspoken connections, you find a new layer of solace, a fragile bridge between the past and the potential for a future where happiness is not just a memory but a living, breathing reality.

You whisper in Yelena's ear, "Tasha gave me the ring." Yelena is pulled from the movie, looking down at your hand that she's been playing with. "It was a promise ring. She got it for me in Budapest. Saying when things settled down, she'd do the whole down on one knee, and we'd have this beautiful wedding where she'd wear a black dress instead of a white one. Everyone would be there, and we'd go back to Budapest for our honeymoon. When we'd come back, we'd ask for a safe house where we could just live quietly between missions..."

You don't realize you’re crying until Yelena is wiping the tears from your face. "I'm sorry... I didn't... I'm ruining movie night, aren't I?" You choke on your own sobs, but Yelena just pulls you against her, hugging you tightly. "No, you haven't ruined anything, Y/N. It's okay."

You hold onto her, shifting slightly until she's in your lap, once again feeling like a puzzle piece as we bury our faces into each other's necks. "If you had gotten married, I hope she would have come found me to be her maid of honor... though I don't know how good I'd be at that," Yelena admits.

In that vulnerable moment, amidst the shared pain and unspoken understanding, Yelena's admission brings a bittersweet smile to your face. The weight of Natasha's absence still lingers, but in Yelena's presence, you find a different kind of strength—a strength born out of shared grief, compassion, and the subtle promise of moving forward, even if it's one tear-streaked movie night at a time.

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Yelena wakes you up, gently calling your name and crawling onto your bed. "Y/N... Y/N..." She speaks softly, shaking your arm lightly. In your half-awake form, you turn to face her, pulling her into a tight embrace, her face against your chest. You can smell her shampoo, pomegranates, and make a noise of content. "Y/N, I have to go," Yelena whispers.

"No," You refuse, not letting her go. In fact, you hold her a little tighter. "Yes, I must. The widows need me," she insists.

"I really don't want you to go... I worry so much every time you go out that door. I know you're the world's greatest assassin, but so was Natasha before you," You confess. Yelena cups your cheeks. "I'll come back. I promise."

Natasha said those exact words too. You feel the tears in your eyes, spilling over before I have a chance to stop them. They're down your cheeks and running over her fingers. "I know words mean very little. I know Nat said similar words. I'm not leaving, though. I'll come back. It's just freeing more widows that have been found. That's all. It's safe. I promise. None of them come close to my skills."

Yelena wipes your tears and assures you that she'll come back. You know you have to let her go. "Please just come back safe, Lena. Please," You lean your forehead against hers. "I can't do this without you," You finally confess.

"I'll come back. I'll always come back. You can't get rid of me, not anymore. You're too deep into this," Yelena tells you, and you look at her, searching her face. "Lena..." Gods, you want to kiss her so badly just to show her how much you need her, but you promised Tasha...

Yelena leans in, kissing your cheek, almost reaching your lips. It's the first time she's ever kissed you in any way. "I'll be back. A few days, that's all," she reassures, placing another kiss on your cheek before she leaves. She looks at you one last time with a smile before heading out, leaving you there, curled up into a ball and crying. Now, you definitely couldn’t lose her.

The weight of her absence already looms large, and the brief touch of her lips on your cheek lingers like a promise in the air. As you try to gather yourself, the echoes of Yelena's words and the warmth of her fleeting kiss become the anchor in the storm of your fears. You know you must trust her, just as Natasha had asked you to trust her own choices.

In the solitude of your room, you cling to the hope that Yelena will return, that the few days she's away won't stretch into an eternity. The scent of pomegranates still lingers in the air, a reminder of her presence, and you find solace in the belief that your connection, however fragile, will endure the challenges that lie ahead.

"Please tell me you'll count that as the first move, Tasha?" You ask, directing your words to the air as you look at the ring on your finger. There's a moment of silent contemplation, a silent conversation with a memory.

Then, you get up and get dressed, facing the day with a mix of vulnerability and determination. The echoes of Yelena's departure still resonate in your mind, but as you glance at the ring, you find a subtle strength. The journey ahead may be uncertain, but in that quiet acknowledgment, you feel the weight of a promise made, a connection forged, and a future that holds the potential for healing and new beginnings.

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"Yelena kissed my cheek; she almost kissed my lips, actually," You run your fingers across your cheek and the corner of your lip. "She had to go on a mission, and she told me the same words you did before you left me forever. I broke down. I seem to do that quite a bit with her now." You’re looking at Natasha's grave. It has been two years now since she left. "Tasha, I know we had our plans, and I will never forget them, but I want to move on... I need to, and in order to do that..." You pull the ring off your finger, twisting it between your fingers. "I need to give this back to you, darling." You’re trying not to choke on your tears as they flow freely down your face. You wrap it up in a little cloth, a red one, and bury it just a little ways down. "Please be happy for me, darling. You know she'll always treat me right." You are full-blown crying as you kiss her gravestone and head back home, hoping Yelena is finally home.

As you walk away, the weight of the past feels a bit lighter, as if the act of returning the ring is a step towards embracing the future. The pain is still there, the memories still vivid, but in the tears and the quiet goodbye, there's a sense of release and a tentative hope for what lies ahead. You head back home, your heart heavy but with a flicker of anticipation, hoping Yelena's absence will soon be replaced by her comforting presence.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Yelena comes back home, she finds you crying on the floor. She picks you up into her arms and holds you as you sob. When you finally come to from your crying session and register that she's back, you cup her cheeks and slam your lips against hers a little rougher than you intend. You soften up a bit when you realize how rough you truly were.

"You're back..." you whisper against her lips.

"I told you I'd be back," she whispers back, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you back in. The two of you kiss, hungry and passionate, as if she's been waiting all her life for this moment. In the embrace of her arms, the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future momentarily fade away. There's only the warmth of the present and the promise of a new chapter, where healing and love can coexist, a testament to the resilience of the heart after weathering the storms of loss.

"Yelena..." You pull back, leaning your forehead on hers.

"I've been waiting forever for that," Yelena admits.

"I know you were grieving, so I just wanted to be here for you, and I was never sure if I should act on my feelings," Yelena tells you, and you give her a soft, quick kiss this time.

"I talked with Tasha about it and promised I wouldn't make the first move," Yelena laughs. "When was this?" she questions.

"A year ago at her grave. You were on a mission, and I went to visit her just before starting up the Avengers company. I told her about how I was falling for you and to not hate me for it. The wind whipped around me, and so I promised I wouldn't make the first move. When you kissed my cheek before leaving, I took that as you making the first move. I visited Natasha yesterday and told her about it and gave back her ring. I left it with her so that I could move forward," You explain, feeling a mixture of vulnerability and relief.

Yelena brushes her thumbs against your tear-stained cheeks and listens to your words. "I promise I'll live up to your expectations. I'll do everything I can to do right by you, Y/F/N," she says, and you chuckle at the use of your full name.

"I know you will, and so does Natasha. I don't think I could be in better hands than yours, Lena," You say, feeling a sense of acceptance and hope for the future. The weight of grief begins to lift, replaced by the promise of a new chapter, and the knowledge that love, even after loss, has the power to mend and rebuild.

#ley writes #ley speaks #yelena belova #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x female reader #yelena belova x you

[hard-core-super-star]

shock to your system [H.Steinfeld]

pairing: hailee steinfeld x reader

summary: your move to new york isn't as panic-free as you would have hoped but thankfully, your girlfriend knows just what to do to help.

warnings: panic attack + general mentions/descriptions of anxiety; hailee being the sweetest person in the world even in stressful situations; cute cheesy fluff; one day i'll figure out how to write endings, i promise; me dragging new york again, i'm so sorry

wordcount: 1.3k

a/n: title (and inspiration) comes from shock to your system by tegan and sara, i cannot recommend the song enough, holy crap. this request by sent in via pm and it's slightly heavier on the anxiety side than some of my past works. important disclaimer: i've never experienced a panic attack before despite living with major anxiety so hopefully the descriptions aren't totally awful. hope you enjoy <3

* * * * * * *

You should’ve known better than to keep your growing anxiety to yourself. Despite the nagging feeling in the back of your mind, you had dismissed it at first. You were sure it was just the average amount of discomfort that comes with moving to a different city and because of it, you didn't say anything to your girlfriend.

Clearly, that had been a bad idea.

You didn’t know where it stemmed from but it was obvious the move to New York had left you a little more uneasy than you had anticipated. It’s not like you were a stranger to the city but living here is something completely different to visiting every few months. Everything about it is loud and overwhelming and incredibly different from the ocean-blue views of L.A that you’re so used to.

Not only were you dealing with the move, but you were also dealing with Hailee’s absence most days. Hawkeye had been picked up for a season 2, hence your hurried move to New York, and your girlfriend was on set pretty much every hour she was awake. She didn’t technically have the title of executive producer like she did with Dickinson but she certainly behaved like one, choosing to stay on set even when she didn’t have any scenes to film.

In hindsight, the signs were obvious. And yet you managed to ignore them over and over again until you finally snapped.

You had spent most of the week laying in bed and pretending like everything was fine. Hailee was distracted enough that she didn’t question you even when it was obvious you were avoiding things and you made no effort to fill her in on what was going on inside your mind. You didn’t see anything wrong with it…until today when your anxiety got way out of your control.

You don’t even know how it happened. One second you were fine, relaxing on the couch and texting your girlfriend who was on her way back to your apartment, and the next you felt the walls closing in on you. All it had taken to tip you over the edge into an ocean of panic was a genuinely sweet question from Hailee, an offer to go out tonight and explore the city together.

The mere thought of stepping foot outside of the walls of your new home was more than enough to make you spiral.

And spiral you did.

You’re not sure how much time passed, it felt like both an eternity and a second to your overwhelmed mind, but the tightness in your chest slowly increased until you were left gasping for breath.

You’re so lost in trying to remember how to properly breathe that you miss the sound of the door opening until the caring voice you love so much calls out for you. “y/n?”

You open your mouth to say something but all that comes out is a choked sob full of more desperation than sadness. You want to look up at Hailee but you feel frozen in place like all you can do is shake and struggle to get enough air into your lungs.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she says as she crosses the space between you until she’s kneeling in between your legs. “Can you look at me, baby?”

“Can’t- Too much-”

“Shh, I know, I know. Take your time, you’re safe, love.”

Her gentle hands come up to caress your face, her thumbs wiping away the tears you hadn’t even realized had been slipping out of your tired eyes. Her touch helps ground you despite the chaos swirling around your mind, almost as if she’s the only thing keeping you anchored to reality.

She moves slowly but she manages to help you lift your head enough to be able to look into the loving eyes you call home. “There we go. Focus on me, alright? I’m not going anywhere.”

You sort of mumble in agreement although the sound comes out slightly muffled and incoherent. Hailee doesn’t judge your panicked response and instead does her best to comfort you, keeping her eyes trained on your face for any subtle hints that the panic attack may be growing stronger. There’s an underlying sweetness to the moment that not even the demons in your mind can argue against.

You do your best to focus on the sweetness of the moment and the sheer warmth she radiates so effortlessly while you struggle to get your breathing back under control. It’s a slow process filled with Hailee’s whispered words of encouragement and soft caresses but eventually, your shaking subsides and your breath starts coming in somewhat steadier than before.

You feel as if you’ve run a marathon despite having been frozen in place for who knows how long. The relieved smile that spreads along your girlfriend’s face offers more solace than the air that fills your lungs. “Better?”

“Yeah.” Your voice is barely louder than a whisper but at least you can finally talk without hyperventilating. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” she replies with a small shake of her head. “I’m just glad I could help you.”

You reach for her with shaky hands and she instantly understands your silent request. She joins you on the couch, her arm instantly wrapping around your waist and offering you more comfort than she could ever imagine. You shift your body toward her and rest your head against her shoulder while making sure to keep your breaths slow and deep.

A few moments of silence go by before Hailee speaks up, the question she asks breaking your heart a little. “y/n…why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t realize it had gotten so bad.” Your words are laced with both honesty and small traces of guilt. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry, baby, I should’ve known.” Her grip on you tightens the slightest bit and it's obvious to you how genuine her concern is. It makes your heart flutter in your chest, the love that flows between you being more than enough to help your leftover discomfort disappear.

“Hailee, you’ve been so busy lately, it’s okay.”

“That’s not an excuse,” she argues. “I made you move here with me and then ditched you every day when I didn’t even need to be on set.”

You hate the way she blames herself but you know it’s only because she cares about you so much. It turns the whole situation into an easy pill to swallow. “Lee, I moved here with you because I wanted to. I love you, and I love New York, it’s just a lot to wrap my head around and that’s not your fault.”

She chuckles but the sound comes out a tad too deflated for your liking. “I’m supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around, love.”

“We can comfort each other. It doesn’t have to be a competition." You tilt your head slightly so you can gaze up at the proud owner of your heart. You pretend not to notice the thin layer of tears in her eyes, not wanting to spend any more time dwelling on the bad.

You're in your girlfriend's arms with nothing but time to spend with each other. And that's what matters to you.

"You...are way too sweet for your own good, you know that?"

She doesn't give you time to argue with her. Instead, she leans down and captures your lips with her own. You practically melt in her arms. After going almost a full day without her, this was heaven on Earth, you were sure of it.

You reluctantly pull away from the kiss, the smile on your face wider and more genuine than it's been all week. "I know you wanted to go out but how about we order pizza and watch a trashy rom-com?"

"You read my mind, baby."

#hailee steinfeld x reader #hailee steinfeld x female reader #hailee steinfeld x you #hailee steinfeld x y/n #hailee steinfeld fic #hailee steinfeld fluff #hailee steinfeld imagine #hailee steinfeld fanfiction #hailee steinfeld #hawkeye #hawkeye fanfic #mcu #mcu fanfiction #mcu imagine #marvel #wlw #wlw fic #writing

[thebreakfastgenie]

Wheelers and Dealers is one of BJ's least sympathetic breakdowns--not only to me, but to the other characters in-universe--but it's also probably the episode that most effectively explains his whole deal. That's because Wheelers and Dealers reveals a new piece of backstory: BJ had the chance to dodge the draft. Hawkeye jokes about being an unsuccessful draft dodger and Klinger talks about his various attempts, but BJ had what neither of them did: an actual, for real ticket out.

I could've gotten out of the draft, like Ned Gradinger. Big all American hero from Stanford. Medical deferment, signed by that eminent physician Ned Gradinger, Sr., who offered the same to me, but I was a good guy.

Within this episode, this new detail explains why BJ feels so intensely guilty about his family struggling in his absence. It also explains his anger that people like him because of his "good guy" personality. One level to that is the fear that if he does something selfish or less than good no one will like him anymore. But I think that's secondary to something else:

Everybody wants to play when it's lovable Doc Hunnicutt, gentleman loser. But let me win a few, it's like I committed a crime.

If BJ had "won one" by dodging the draft, he would have committed a crime. I think that's what he's speaking to, here, more than a fear of losing people by expressing human failings. After all, he does express human failings all the time, and he's hardly ever blamed for them. Now, the continuity on MASH is loose at best, so I don't for a moment imagine the writers planned this bit of lore from BJ's introduction, or that intended it to apply retroactively. But let's do that anyway.

What sets BJ apart from Hawkeye and Trapper and even to some extent from other characters is a certain respect for the rules and faith in the institutions of American life. It makes sense for someone from a more comfortable, middle class background to have that attitude. It's why Margaret and Frank set their sights on him initially. Of course, this aspect of BJ is deconstructed as he comes face to face with war and with rules that are transparently arbitrary or even morally wrong. But he really digs in his heels. Just look at Preventative Medicine, where he rigidly adheres to a code of medical ethics and a definition of "harm" that feels almost absurd in a war zone. (Can an army surgeon "do no harm?" Ask Hawkeye in Letters or BJ in Bombshells.)

Of course, this makes a lot more sense when you put it in the context of BJ being drafted because he strictly adhered to the rules, to a rigid idea of right and wrong. Of course BJ clings to the rules; he desperately needs to believe they mean something. If the rules don't matter, if right and wrong aren't so simple, he allowed himself to be drafted for nothing. He allowed himself to be taken from his family, to be made into a soldier, to witness some of the worst things a human being can witness, to get used to the horror, to do things he would never otherwise do, because he believed he was doing the right thing. If doing the right thing doesn't mean anything, he let all that happen for no reason at all. That's a hell of a thing to come to terms with.

Now, what's the big moral argument against draft dodging, if you don't believe in serving your country? If you don't go, someone else will have to go in your place. Now look at Period of Adjustment.

Radar's home, Hawk. I should be glad for him. But I'm not! I'm so torn up with envy, I almost hate him! And I feel the same way about Trapper, and I never even met him.

BJ hates them for being home when he's not. Invoking Trapper here is powerful, because on a meta level and to some extent in-universe, BJ is literally there because Trapper is not. If BJ had taken the draft dodge, someone else would be suffering over here. If he'd won one, he'd have condemned someone else to that fate. Is that some kind of crime, not legally, but morally? Here, BJ is on the other side. Trapper and Radar won a hand: they got to go home. BJ is trying to be lovable Doc Hunnicutt, happy for their good fortune, gracefully accepting that he has to stay. But for once he can't quite do it. This is also one of the only times in the series we see someone really, furiously envious about another character going home, which isn't really relevant here but I thought it was interesting enough to highlight. This fits with how I've described Period of Adjustment from BJ's perspective before, as a shattering of the illusion they all use to get through each day.

Essentially, BJ clings desperately to the rules because all the worst things that have happened to him are things he accepted as consequences of doing the right thing. He accepted them naively, the war is worse than he could have imagined, and the possibility that on top of that, his reason for accepting them was meaningless is kind of unbearable.

#mash #mashposting #bj hunnicutt #there's a whole second piece to this about hawkeye but I decided to make it separate

[lightupthemoon]

I could get used to this

Summary: You never really described what you had but you knew she was more than just your best friend, just not technically your girlfriend either. Kate Bishop belonged to the city of New York, to her compromise to protect innocent lives and become the greatest Hawkeye the world had ever seen. Obviously, defining what you had wasn’t an urgent matter. It could wait.

Pairing: Kate Bishop x Reader

Warnings: None, this is just fluff.

Word Count: 1.3 K

Read on AO3

Author's Note: Look! It's a Christmas miracle, I am back! I have gotten your requests, and messages and I'm sorry I haven't done much but the writer's block continues to be so real. I will get to all of them soon, I promise. Nevertheless, I tried my best for my bestie @ittynyte's birthday and wrote this little thing for her. Love you, KT! I hope you guys like it!

You never intended to fall in love with Kate Bishop. It was just simply the easiest thing you ever did, as natural as filling your lungs with fresh air. From the moment you met, you always felt drawn to her, overwhelmed by her essence but unable to ever get enough of her. Her energetic personality kept you on your toes, and her charm and innate ability to make everything seem okay made it incredibly difficult to ever stay mad at her if she got herself into trouble, which happened much more often than you’d like. You weren’t sure of many things but, at least, you were sure of Kate Bishop. 

You, however, were never completely certain of where you stood with her. You had known once, for years. You were just friends, and you never dreamed of crossing that line with her. You were happy with what you had but things between the two of you had evolved. 

It happened shortly after Christmas. Kate showed up at your door, high on adrenaline, rambling on about whatever new dangerous situation she had gotten herself into and the next thing you knew, she had her lips pressed to yours in a way nobody had ever kissed you before. You didn't even have time to react. You blinked, and Kate was five feet away, sputtering apologies that went along the lines of "just being excited and never going to do it again", almost walking out of the door in her panic. Next thing you knew, you were running after her down the hall and bringing her back in. 

It all changed from that point forward. You never really described what you had but you knew she was more than just your best friend, just not technically your girlfriend either. Kate Bishop belonged to the city of New York, to her compromise to protect innocent lives and become the greatest Hawkeye the world had ever seen. You knew she was still mourning her losses, adapting to the new life her mother's absence had brought her. Obviously, defining what you had wasn’t an urgent matter. It could wait. You were more than willing to take what she gave you and allow her to take what she needed despite the annoying voice in your head trying to convince you Kate was only latching onto you because you were the last thread of normalcy and consistency in her life. You were determined to enjoy your time with her for as long as you could. 

You were brushing your teeth to go to bed when you heard the front door open and close. You spat out the remnants of your toothpaste, the crackling of the hardwood floors your only indication that the intruder was coming your way. You tapped on your phone, bold numbers marking 12:35 AM staring back at you. 

"I thought you were on patrol tonight," You said as the intruder came into view. 

"Change of plans," Kate responded leaning on the door frame and crossing her arms over her chest. "Clint says I need to take a break." 

"I agree," You said, rinsing your toothbrush. "You haven't stopped in a while." 

Kate sighed, extending one of her hands towards you. You took it, and she pulled you closer, lazily wrapping her arms around you. Your hands found her cheeks, your thumbs lightly brushing over the newest scrapes on her face. 

"I think about my mom when I stop," Kate confessed in a whisper. "I kinda miss her." 

"You could go see her, you know," You said, dropping your hands to her shoulders. "I could go with you." 

"No, I'm not ready yet." Kate shook her head. "And that's not why I'm here, anyway." Her hands landed on your hips, pulling your body towards her. "I missed you." 

"I missed y–" 

You were interrupted mid-sentence by Kate's lips on your own. Your arms circled her neck, and her mouth parted open, taking on your bottom lip. A soft whimper escaped you, the grip on your hips tightening. As it would happen every time Kate showed up at your door like this, your world simply stopped. You were trapped in time, at that moment, in an eternity that encapsulated your very being with hers. Kate deepened the kiss, her movements slow and unhurried, gentle in a way it filled your heart. You soaked in her essence, responding to her silky kisses in steady breaths, treasuring every single moment you got to feel her be yours, however momentary. 

The kiss died down naturally, Kate’s forehead resting against yours while her breathing returned to normal. Soft sapphire eyes stared at you intensely, bringing one of her hands up and tracing the ball of your bare shoulder with her fingertips. The brunette didn’t even move an inch, as if the lack of proximity would kill her if she did. 

“Hi,” Kate whispered, the back of her thumb stroking your cheek. 

You giggled. "Hi." 

"I missed you." 

"You said that before." 

"Yeah, but I really did," Kate shrugged. "I'm out there fighting bad guys while you're here looking so…" she trailed off with a huff, drawing a small smile on your lips. 

"So what?" 

"Comfy," Kate scrunched up her nose, leaving a soft peck on your cheek. "Warm. I wish that were me right now, to be honest." 

You rolled your eyes goodnaturedly, shaking your head. "Come on, let's fix that then." 

You intertwined your fingers as you led her back into the bedroom for her to get changed. You attentively listened to her every story, random tales from her adventures you had heard a million times, but you relished in the excitement and the happiness behind every single one of her words. It was moments like that one that made you feel like it would be worth it to get your heart broken if this wasn't as real to her as it was to you.  

When she finally laid her head on the pillow next to you, those three traitorous words you had avoided for so long to say wanted to come out of your throat at the sight of her. It took all of your willpower not to say it. It wasn't time yet. Instead, you settled with letting your fingers linger on her back, tracing her spine, watching her melt under your touch. 

"I wish I could stay here with you all the time," Kate said, her voice barely a whisper. "This is so nice." 

You smiled. "Now that would be impractical. When would we eat? Or go to the bathroom?" 

Kate chuckled, shifting her position enough to look at you. "You know what I mean." 

"I do and you do always know where to find me, Kate. I'm always here for you, you know. You're kinda stuck with me." 

The blue in Kate's eyes sparkled like the starriest of nights as she looked at you, something inevitably shifting in the air. You held her gaze, unconsciously holding your breath as you did. 

"You promise?" Her voice was barely a whisper. It was small, and fragile as if she was scared of the answer. And maybe she was, you couldn't tell. You only knew you'd do anything for her. "'Cause I can't do this without you, Y/N, I really can't. You're my rock." 

Your hand moved from her back to push a loose strand of black hair out of her face. "You won't ever have to. I'm here to stay." 

Kate smiled, satisfied with your answer. She leaned in, pressing another kiss to your lips before returning to her previous position in your arms, her face now safely tucked in the crook of your neck. Silence took over the room, warmth, and comfort taking you in its soft embrace. The last thing you heard before you succumbed to slumber was a faint I love you that lingered in the air. 

You never felt more at peace.

TAGLIST: TAGLIST: @sunshadesnrainbowz @imlike-so-gaydude @hopingforromanoff @ittynyte @girlssnrosess @musicinourlips @youralphawolf72 @assgardangod

#kate bishop x reader #kate bishop fluff #kate bishop x you #kate bishop x female reader #kate bishop #marvel fanfiction #hawkeye series #hailee steinfeld x reader #Writing #i could get used to this

[caffiene-fueled-fuckery]

MASH Cards Against Humanity - Round 1 - Question 8

Hey all! Sorry for the long absence! Uni was absolutely kicking my ass but I finally handed in my last assignment for my Bachelor's degree yesterday so I'm hoping to be able to post more now :)

Players are: Hawkeye, BJ, Margaret, Charles, Father Mulcahy, Potter, Radar, Klinger, Kellye, and Igor

Here's question 8...

It’s late at night. You’re in bed with your lover, Patrick Stewart. He leans over with a twinkle in his eye and asks “How about ______?”

Reader: Margaret

One week for this poll, but I might post the last question for this round early to make up for lost time, haha! Reblogs are appreciated :)

#mash #m*a*s*h #mash cards against humanity #father mulcahy #hawkeye pierce #radar o'reilly #margaret houlihan #mash igor #nurse kellye #bj hunnicutt #sherman potter #max klinger #charles emerson winchester iii

[iriel3000]

#000000

Summary: #000000 - Black, the absence of any color on a screen. Part 1 of 3

Whumptober day 7: “I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds.” | Radio Silence

Natasha whump, light whump, emotional whump

AN: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READ, LIKED OR/AND COMMENTED ON Hurry, She Needs You. I appreciate your support so much !!💘💘💘

“Natasha.”

Steve was surprised to see her jerk at the sound of his voice. Rarely did anyone sneak up on the Black Widow.

Dressed in plain, black leggings and a purple sweatshirt that looked too big to be hers, Natasha sat with her knees up on the ledge of the Tower roof. Worry lines creased her forehead and the dark circles under her eyes stood out against her pale skin.

Natasha Romanov was the most determined, self assured person Steve knew, but right now, she looked...lost.

“I’m sorry, Nat, we haven't heard anything. I just came to check on you.” He sat down beside her, hating that he didn't have better news.

Seventy-two hours had passed since Hawkeye's last check-in. No word, no cryptic message, no ransom from the enemy. His comms were dead and their radar hadn’t been able to detect him or the signature from his arrows.

Steve held out an apple. Natasha refused.

“Name one thing you've eaten in the last two days.”

Reluctantly, she accepted it. But instead of taking a bite, Natasha drew her arm back and whipped the apple across to the opposite rooftop.

“They put a damper on me. I'm not allowed to leave.”

“I know.” Steve said.

"Word travels fast."

“I'm the one who gave the order.”

“What?!” She leapt to her feet. “How could you?”

Steve stood with his hand up.

“I would do the same to him if it were you. We sent a recovery team, Natasha. They will find him.”

“If it was Bucky, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I would be stealing a fucking jet for you!” She paced back and forth, glaring at him as if he betrayed her. "They don't know what they're doing. They don't know how he operates, or where his safe houses are. I’m his partner, I can find him.”

"Nat..."

Steve's phone chimed.

He hid the caller id, doing his best to put on a neutral expression.

"Rogers."

Natasha watched his face for the tiniest of clues.

"I understand. We'll be right down." He hung up.

"Fury?"

"Maria, she needs us downstairs."

"Why?"

"She'll explain when we meet her."

"Is it about Clint?"

"We need to go, Nat."

"Don’t. Don't do that to me, Rogers. What happened? Where's my partner?"

Steve had trouble meeting her eyes.

"Tell me what happened to my husband!"

part 2 cont'd on day 11

#whumptober2023 #lyric #no. 2 #I paced around for hours on empty I jumped at the slightest of sounds #radio silence #the avengers #clintasha #fic #emotional whump #hawkeye #black widow #steve rogers

[beej-honnecticutt]

My M*A*S*H 8x19 ( Morale Victory ) fav moments:

I really like this episode, although it’s not one of my favorite ones. It has everything: a silly A-plot, and a serious B-plot, with a very sweet ending, so let’s get to it.

After watching the same movie WAY too many times, BJ and Hawkeye riot and start demanding new activities, sick with the same old, same old.

( here’s them being little shits by playing the love interests in the film live — Beej, of course, being the lady, and Hawkeye the gentleman )

I love that it took them but a glance at each other to commence the shenanigans :)

Colonel Potter gets mad and declares them the new “Morale Officers.” Everyone is now complaining at them for the camp’s lack of activities, and Hawkeye ( as always, flying by the seat of his pants ) promises them an unforgettable dinner party. One he, of course, had nothing planned for. And BJ gets dragged into this “plan”

BJ IS JUST RUNNING WITH IT BUT INSIDE HE’S CONTEMPLATING EVERY DECISION HE EVER MADE THAT GOT HIM TO THIS PLACE.

They come up with the idea to have a “beach party,” and send Klinger for some crabs to the beach… apparently, it works!

I LOVE ME SOME HAPPY MIDDLE-AGED DOCTORS😭🥹

Then, the B-plot, is a pianist Charles operated on that is ( logically ) depressed because he won’t ever play the piano again, even though Charles did his best with him.

He feels guilty because the gift this man has will be lost forever, and he even goes to Father Mulcahy for advice! He tells him to not allow him to give up

Charles talks to him, it’s so obvious how much he cares for this guy.

He’s so proud when he finally gets him to acknowledge that even though he might not play concert piano again, his gift is still intact, and he can still change the world with it. Honestly, his speech is quite inspirational, and one of the best Charles-moments in my opinion.

Of course, he had to sacrifice the crab-party so he could talk to this guy, so BJ and Hawk go find him afterwards.

I loved the last scene. It shows that even though they don’t agree on much, and they love antagonising each other, they still care for the others.

They want to make Charles company, make him feel included, and even though Charles didn’t really care much for the party, you can notice how much he appreciates that they care for him enough to leave it themselves. That they noticed his absence and wanted to check what and how he was doing.

It’s the little things like this, the details, that make this unit such a warm tigh-knit family.

#m*a*s*h #hunnihawk #hawkeye pierce #mash #mash 4077 #klinger #father mulcahy #colonel potter #margaret houlihan #charles emerson winchester iii #bj hunnicutt

[mylittleredgirl]

i'm having a time of it where i couldn't look at screens very much, so i haven't been watching or posting as much about m*a*s*h, but you'd better believe that has left me even more time to THINK about m*a*s*h!!!

buckle up: update for season four disc one!

(after welcome to korea, that is, which was another post)

headline: LOVE the new characters!!

bj has somehow already committed arson?? hawkeye, you are SUCH a bad example for your little brother

at some point down the line i'm sure i will stop infantilizing this grown ass man but for now literally everything bj does i'm like. that's a Baby.

especially when he participates in a bit where they're going after frank or margaret, who he literally just met

you know when there's like a ten-year-old with a strong opinion about something, like "that [toy, tv show, video game] SUCKS!" with all the rage and feeling in their world-weary heart

... and then one step behind them is the five-year-old who chimes in "yeah that REALLY sucks!" but with this innocent delight in their eyes, like they have no idea what's going on but they're getting a really good grade in Big Kid

that's BJ, is what i'm saying

and colonel potter! he's regular army!! but it's ok: he drinks

it's soooo perfect that he and bj share their first o.r. scene. the sweet calming mentor energy... i'm luv him.

and then HE SHOOTS THE DEAD JEEP. i'm still laughing about that. if colonel potter never does one more funny thing again he's still the funniest man alive.

meanwhile! we join our established characters already in progress

frank and hawkeye's relationship gets genuinely hostile there for a while. uncomfortably so, even.

and during the week i was too dizzy to sit up and make this post i spent a LOT of time thinking about this!!!

each of them are spinning out for their own reasons, which play out all over this season so far. frank gained and lost the power he wanted so badly. hawkeye lost both his besties at the same time, and the support structure and identity that went along with that.

but also trapper's absence on its own radically changed the swamp boys dynamic!!

frank has always been justifiably hateable, but there was a SPORT to it, you know? hawkeye and trapper were tormenting him largely to entertain each other, which means they did it a lot but only to the point where it was funny

and think about the "but there's no real hate, right?" in O.R., like in frank's mind, they torture him but they're all still buddies!!! (and the occasional peek into frank's sad childhood could explain this perception)

it quickly becomes clear in season 4 that trapper was a tempering influence between hawkeye and frank, who end up in a full on BRAWL

LIKE A DRAWN OUT PHYSICAL FIGHT

also hard to watch: frank wrecking margaret's tent. hmm. mm-mmm. don't like this.

on the other hand, i loved the "i'm here but we're not doing anything!" scene in the next episode when they're playing cards in her tent. they're always slapping or kissing or scheming -- i feel like this is the first time we ever see them just hanging out like friends

… with anyone, actually. like this thirty seconds of a card game just unlocked an unseen part of both their personalities

something subtle is shifting in this relationship. by the end of "the kids," even sober-margaret is getting in on the joke that frank sucks. i await future developments.

THE KIIIIIIIIIIDS

oh god it's so sweet and harmless. it's healing. i love it. i want to roll around in that episode.

i hope "frank scams a purple heart and hawkeye steals it" continues to happen every season, like the mail episodes

i learned that alan alda directed this ep, which means that he made the decision both in front of and behind the camera for hawkeye to make this face as bj tells a bedtime story:

hawkeye!!!! don't fall in love with straight boys!!!!!

other things:

I'M STILL GRIEVING BY THE WAY

THEY CROPPED MY BOY OUT OF THE OPENING SEQUENCE

THEY CROPPED HIMMMMMM

henry blake memorial bar we hardly knew ye 😢

the moment when hawkeye is like yeah bj, just to get you up to speed: henry was basically radar's dad

any time they mention henry or trapper i have feelings but ALSO i have feelings whenever i think maybe they could have mentioned them but didn't. mentioned them IN MY HEART.

i'm a little fixated on the choice to replace henry and trapper, notorious philanderers, with characters who are immediately identified as Wife Guys

genuinely if y'all hadn't told me that mclean stevenson and wayne rogers wanted out, i would have assumed the character shakeup happened specifically for that reason!

totally other topic but i'm definitely missing some kind of joke here and it's driving me nuts: every time a british character shows up they're heavily spray-tanned. what does it meeeeaaaan??

and lastly. best part of "the bus" is the knowledge that somewhere off-screen, margaret, klinger, and the nurses are running the camp.

#it's about time i watched m*a*s*h #mashblogging