#about being the mom friend or the therapist friend or the kind and wholesome one

[howl-at--the-sun]

Well. That was a realization

#ramble in the tags #so #i have a people pleasing problem #i want people to feel good no matter what it does it me in the process #so when i think i messed something up #no matter if i did or not #i freak out and guilt spiral #because the worst thing i can imagine is someone i want to please not being happy because of something i did #it's why i second guess myself every time it want to talk about something #and constantly say #because i don't think i'm worthy of enjoying things #i will put everyone above myself bc that makes people happy and i like it when people are happy but it's not healthy for me #but working to fix it means doing things for myself #which is so hard to do #because of the people pleasing #i've made my whole personality #especially on tumblr #about being the mom friend or the therapist friend or the kind and wholesome one #and while that's not untrue #i #i'm beginning to realize how unhealthy that it #levis speaks #levis rants

[whiskersz]

Matchup???

hihihihi, I’m Gray, yes like the color/colour. I’m Agender(afab) and use any pronouns, I’m ace and on the arospec (I think I’m lithioromantic?) Ive had 3 crushes, 1 fem, 1 nb, 1 male. If you’re doing romantic, I do tend to have a preference towards masc people.

I’m honestly pretty average, I’m very middle energy between chill and energetic, it fluctuates depending on who I’m with. I’m an ISFJ 9w1 if that helps. I am the therapist friend and sometimes the mom friend. I am very much a listener, if someone starts ranting I’ll listen intently through it all even if it’s for 4 hours. I have gotten so many hyperfixations that way. I have generalized anxiety disorder (gad) and im currently being tested for adhd.

I’m fine with romantic or platonic, if you want to you can do both

My hobbies include piano, I’m currently learning Duet from Omori, Art, I usually sketch characters don’t usually do big projects unless it’s for a class, baking, I tend to make brownies and cookies, though I can make other stuff like cake, and this isn’t really a hobby but sleeping, I love sleeping(which is weird because I either sleep really fast or I don’t sleep til 6am)

I like my friends, art, rain, comfy clothes like hoodies and sweaters, music, my favorite artists at the moment are Jack Stauber and Khai Dreams, dreaming, reading, puzzles, sudoku, plushies, sleeping, butterflies, Arctic foxes, kittens, fictional characters, and fandoms, some of those include dhmis, hh, interloper(arg), home safety hotline, etc. Some things I dislike are really tight clothing, being yelled at, harsh criticism with no compliment of what I did do good, being left out, feeling lonely, overthinking, my face, specifically my nose, mouth and forehead, pushing people away, ghosting people, and confrontation is a big one.

If you’re doing romantic, please don’t ship me with Angel Dust, I see him in a very brotherly sense. Similarly with husk.

I have listed characters before that I simp over and usually it’s either stoic and kind of cold or excitable and kinda babygirl vibes (I don’t know how else to describe it) and I already said above that I tend to have a preference towards masc

Something else that I could add is I do tend to have a trope I like? I don’t know if it means anything but I’m in love with rude or some other kind of negative adjective but has a soft spot for that one person and soulmate aus but that’s something else.

-Gray🦋

Hey Gray! So sorry for the delay, your matchup is finally here though! I decided to go with a platonic matchup c:

I match you with...

Charlie!

· You seem like a very wholesome person, so I personally think that Charlie would be a great friend for you, being equally amiable!

· She’s your number one supporter and she tries to help you ease your anxiety on particularly bad days; she reassures you that you don’t need to match her energy all the time, and that it’s okay if you feel anxious, she will try her best to be there for you and help.

· She might need some guidance as well, being in charge of the Hotel and all. This is where your mom friend side comes in; she greatly appreciates that you try to help her back, and that you listen to her in times of need. Sometimes she just needs to let it out to figure out what to do next, and you’re the person she goes to for it.

· You will also get to listen to her rants for hours! No matter what they’re about. They will mostly be about the Hotel and how she can improve the quality of life in it, but she will ask your opinions on it as well, and occasionally rant about her interests too. She of course loves listening to you as well, so don’t hesitate to rant back!

· Charlie loves that you like sketching, because she loves drawing too! You show each other what you make and she’s so happy to be sharing a hobby with you, where you can tell each other what you like about the other’s art and point out where to improve if needed. I feel like it’s more about the first thing though, as you both like doing it casually more than anything, so it’s a very positive experience!

· She also likes singing to the tunes of your piano; the others will stop by, mesmerized by your skill and her angelic voice.

· Charlie of course respects all of your dislikes; on your first day at the Hotel you inform her that you dislike tight clothing, and she makes you find a bunch of cosy and oversize clothes on your bed as a way to make you feel comfortable and welcomed.

· She also never makes you feel left out, and always includes you in every activity that she organizes whether it be with the other residents of the Hotel or as just a friend outing or hang out.

· She’s also not a big fan of confrontation, so she gets your dislike for it. If anything, you two can go through it together, and advise the other on how to handle it the best.

· She will also pull you out of your overthinking by coming up with some fun activity to do together; maybe you can give your favorite show a rewatch with her, or you can introduce her to all the plushies that you own- the possibilities are endless!

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin x reader #x reader #hazbin hotel #matchup #hazbin hotel matchup #charlie x reader #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel charlie

[linkspooky]

YOU KNOW DC?! WOW, I'M A FAN WHAT FAVORITE HEROES AND VILLAINS DO YOU HAVE MINE IS HALEY QUINN.

So sorry, my main area of expertise is Teen Titans characters and Batman Villains.

#5 Roy Harper

Roy is just the most wholesome sunshine boy. He's positive addict representation. (It turns out anyone can become an addict even superheroes, it doesn't make you a bad or morally deficient person). He is a loving single father. He is a team leader and friend. He's got it going on.

Roy projects this bad boy image but don't believe it, he just has low self-esteem, if anything he is one of the more wholesome superheroes. Roy tends to be really caustic and likes to pick fights with people, but don't buy it he's literally the bad boy who feeds kittens when no one is looking. Ollie is like a more idealistic batman, and Roy Harper is like a more idealistic Dick Grayson.

Roy is confrontational. but he has the best of intentions he only picks fights with people if there's a problem that needs solving. Also, the person he fights the most is Dick Grayson, and he needs someone to give him a kick in the pants every once in awhile.

#4 Donna Troy

Donna is actually one of the most nuanced comic book characters of all time, and it has nothing to do with her backstory so don't even bring that up. "She's just kind of plain and boring..." that's it you've got it, you've nailed the essence of Donna.

Donna's the one sort of normal person around a bunch of extreme personalities, so all of her friends use her as a free friend therapist, while completely ignoring Donna's own issues. Donna is the single mom of several traumatized teenagers except she's the same age as them.

Donna has this image among her friends as the perfect overachiever, but she's actually just as much of a mess as everyone else. One time Dick leaves Donna in charge of the titans and the team totally falls apart because Donna CANNOT lead. She tries to make Jason the leader of the team and he was like twelve at the time. Her entire personal life is a wreck, look up what happens to Donna Troy it's one of the saddest things in comic books. She's actually one of the most tragic characters, which makes her enduring desire to help her friends and take care of people a really strong character trait because it's continually tested by the tragedy in her life.

#3 Eddie Bloomberg

Every Teen Titans run gives me a new favorite character and Eddie was that for the Geoff Johns run. Seeing as my favorite hero of all time is Spiderman, there is nothing better than a normal, powerless teenager, trying to become a superhero because they want to help others.

Eddie's life is just very melancholy and lonely, he becomes so desperate to be a teen titans he literally seels his soul for the chance of being a hero. He almost cut his life even shorter, because being a hero for a few years seemed better to him than living as a normal person for a much longer life. Eddie works as a character because despite his abysmally low self esteem he tries to help people, and what makes him a hero is not his powers but who he himself is. Even after losing his powers the Titans need him around because he is the heart of the team.

#2 Rose Wilson

Terra is my favorite DC character of all time, and Rose is basically Terra if Terra actually lived. Rose and Eddie made the Geoff Johns run enjoyable for me, there's something deeply compelling about Rose's search for a family and also her desire to define herself as her own person.

If you are connected to Slade Wilson in any way he will just destroy your own life, so it is powerful to watch Joey and Rose connect as siblings outside of Slade, and also Rose keep trying to be a hero on the Teen Titans when no one on the team trusts her. Even when she leaves it's not because she was a bad person, it's because the whole team rejected her and even on her own Rose was still trying to figure out what the right thing to do was and how to live her life.

#1 Harley Quinn

Harley's just one of the most characters ever. Characters are their flaws and Harley has a whole lot of them, she's hurt a lot of people, she enabled a man to hurt so many more, she crossed a line as a psychiatrist, she's selfish enough that she'll terrorize gotham in the pursuit of love.

YET! She remains such a sympathetic character at her core. Not only because of the way the joker treats her, but because no matter much Harley tries to change herself in pursuit of being loved by someone else, Harleen was a doctor. Hurting people is against her nature. THe more people she hurts, the more she is hurt. She's like a living example of the cycle of abuse, she is a victim and she victimizes others, and yet there's always still that chance of recovery for her.

Harley's also just so unique. Her world view is so distorted. Her priorities are all messed up. She doesn't really have a system of morality so much as "If I do this, I will be loved...." and because of that she ends up doing some really bad things. Yet, there's something deeply relatable and identifiable of a person who just wants to be love.

She's incredibly emotionally complex. One unique thing about Harley is she kind of changes her entire personality depending on who she's around, and yet she's still Harley. Harley's just kind of this attention hungry, love seeking person, desperate to stand out, easy to get along with, easy to make friends. She's like this really wholesome while at the same time being a really toxic person, and all of those qualities make a volatile mix that just explodes into the funnest person ever.

#askspookies #rose wilson #eddie bloomberg #kid devil #ravager #roy harper #donna troy #harley quinn #teen titans meta

[stitch1830]

Ok, so I keep seeing your posts and have had more Zutara thoughts because of them (thank you for that, btw 😊) so I was curious if you have read any fics or like the Mom Friend!Katara and Dad Friend!Zuko trope? It’s one of my personal faves.

Some common things I’ve seen with this are:

Zuko noticing Katara does a lot of the work while staying at the Western Air Temple and stepping up to help, but Katara is rightfully wary of him at that point and gets frustrated for varying reasons

Katara getting sick from constantly doing everything for so long and Zuko helping take care of her and the Gaang while she’s down for the count (usually happens after TSR so they’re slightly awkward friends at this point)

Katara and Zuko late night conversations where Katara isn’t just being Zuko’s therapist, or Zuko isn’t just being Katara’s therapist, but they’re giving each other advice and listening to each other in equal measure overall (even if some nights one is feeling more down than the other and they focus on that for just that night)

Katara and Zuko getting some solid cooking together/doing chores together/bending together content

Katara and Zuko getting teased by the Gaang bc they’ve started to call them Mum and Dad when they’re being extra Momtara and Dadko (you know what I mean lol)

Katara and Zuko working to comfort anyone else in the Gaang over relationship problems (usually Sukka stuff here with misinterpreting stuff and overthinking and all that), childhood issues (Toph and her stuff with her parents), not feeling good enough (Aang, the sweet boi son who is so nervous abt all the pressure on his shoulders), or just war trauma stuff (nightmares and cuddles from Momtara and Dadko - is best with Toph imo)

Toph accidentally calling them Mum or Dad while super tired is the wholesome stuff thing

Idk if you’ve got other stuff that you’ve seen or headcannons you’ve got abt this trope, lmk bc I feel like I don’t seen enough of it lol

Hello! Thank you so much for the ask, and I'm glad you are enjoying the HC's. We all deserve to have Zutara live in our minds rent free haha!

I actually don't think I've read a specific fic with that particular trope, sadly. I'm kind of new when it comes to reading Zutara fics and haven't spent too much time exploring ao3 (There's so much I was shook the first time I glanced at it!). I've seen a few fan art comics with this referenced, that's all though. But, I am totally on board with this headcanon and honestly think it's super accurate. It probably should be explored more!

Both Katara and Zuko seem pretty selfless when it comes to their friends and family, so it would make sense to me that they take care of the others first, either individually or together. And then in turn, noticing when the other is struggling and offering support. It's probably an interesting story to see how they navigate the rough waters, because Katara is probably somewhat skeptical of Zuko still, and Zuko just isn't sure how to handle the situation. They're also two of the most mature members of the Gaang, so it makes sense that they take it upon themselves to take care of the group. (Also the cuddle sessions? Talk about uwu).

If I were to add to this list, I think they would often scold the group if they were only using a single braincell between them all.

Zuko probably stays up the latest in the group to watch for any trouble. Sometimes he notices Katara or another member of the Gaang shivering, so he'll give them his blanket.

I can see them when they're alone complaining to each other about the group's shenanigans and finding comfort in being able to relate to each other.

Katara would scold the group for giving Appa too many treats. But then Zuko sneaks one more apple to the sky bison :)

This might not fit the HC, but maybe if Zuko needs to tell Katara something and he's afraid of her reaction (maybe it's bad news and they're all already stressed), he'll practice his speech on a badgerfrog.

Katara and Zuko definitely spar a ton together and they learn each others moves and tendencies well. That's why they're so in sync during their practice battle.

Those are my immediate thoughts on HC's! Also, if you have a fav fic with this trope, feel free to send it my way! Love reading some good stories haha. Thanks again for the ask, and hope you have a nice day! :)

#zutara #katara #zuko #atla #gaang #zutara headcanons #my asks #thanks for the ask! #gosh these two #best mom friend and dad friend around #I can totally see the group calling them mom and dad before the invasion lmao #momtara #dadko #they're so thoughtful #while everyone else shares one braincell #smh guys

[kiribakuhappiness]

Fic ask game 17 and 6?

Fic Ask Game:

17: What has been the proudest moment for you so far since you started writing?

This is gonna sound so absolutely cheesy and cringe because it really doesn’t have much to do with my own writing at all but - whenever I get messages from other people (usually anons) who tell me that they’ve started writing again because they’ve been following along with my blog for a bit and I inspired them to just say fuck it and get back into it (or to start writing for the very first time in general!)

Seriously, trust me, I know how dumb that all probably sounds, but I think that is quite possibly the coolest thing I will ever do; inspire other people to enjoy the same things that I do. The internet is such a weird, wonderful, horrifying place because everyone is so encouraging and friendly until suddenly you’re Doing The Thing and then everyone seems to develop some kind of a vendetta against you because you’re making moves when they’re not or you’re not making The Right Moves or you’re making the Right Moves but you’re not from the Right Demographic to be making those kinds of moves and honestly? I’m fucking over it.

If you’re not confident enough in your own damn writing and you’re not having fun with it and are completely content writing literally just for yourself, then you need to a choose a different hobby/career path. Thinking that someone else is going to “steal your thunder away” or whatever else just because they write a similar story to yours or write a story that you’ve been thinking about writing for a while is a big ole red fucking flag - and if you’ve never heard anyone say this before, then listen to me real closely when I’m telling you right now.

Your story is just as unique of a creation as you are - even if you’re using the same old damn tropes to tell the same old damn story. I can write a Fake Dating story and litter it with hundreds of overused tropes and as long as I’m actually enjoying what I’m writing and as long as I’m giving it a proper effort to make it my own, then there is literally no one else who can write the same story as me, even if all of the elements and characters within the story are exactly the same. They won’t be able to replicate the way that I express certain emotions through the characters, they won’t be able to simulate the flow of a carefully constructed conversation/interaction like I can, they won’t be able to nail the imagery or the flowery sentence structures or the scattered symbolism or whatever else it is about your writing that makes you LOVE WRITING so damn much.

So whenever I get a long rambling Ask about how someone on this random blogsite in this random corner of the internet read my KiriBaku stories and were inspired to try writing or picking up writing again as a hobby? Bro - there is absolutely nothing else that I could ever create that would be cooler and make me feel more proud of myself than that. I truly fucking mean that.

6: What are some topics you will never write about?

This is a really interesting question because I know that a lot of people get really defensive about these kinds of things - whether it’s because they feel really passionately about a certain topic or perhaps they feel like it’s not their place to write about certain things, the reasons vary and the reactions to them vary even more.

For me (personally); there is nothing I won’t write if I have good reason for writing it.

This isn’t me tooting the ole “I Can Write Whatever I Want Cause Fuck Censorship” horn, because quite frankly I find that mindset to be kind of childish and ignorant to have (don’t misinterpret what I just fucking said, you internet scoundrels. I am not calling the act of having that kind of mindset childish or ignorant, I am saying that usually the people who have that kind of mindset are younger or uniformed in some way).

Just because you can write about something doesn’t mean you should.

Recently, I got some rather colorful Anon Hate about Cold Turkey, and honestly, I was expecting it to happen at some point to some degree, and while I won’t get into all of the gory details because like I’ve said many times before this blog space is for positive interactions and I feel like things like that are best left between the sender and the blog owner (though if you’d really like a response from me to something like that - try taking yourself off Anon next time so we can have a proper chat). But I understand where they were coming from when they sent it, which is why I chose to hear what they were saying but not directly engage.

To them - literally for all they know - I am just some random person on the internet who wrote some smut and that on its own is enough to condemn me right off the bat. Dude, I get it. I am literally the easiest target in that regard, internet trolls and those who feel they have a social justice to impart will obviously trickle into my Asks after posting a story like that because that’s how they feel and nothing I say or do can take that away from them (and it shouldn’t). It doesn’t hurt my feelings, I don’t take “You’re Horrible, go Choke” very seriously from an internet stranger, and that’s mostly because I know for a fact that person probably didn’t even attempt to read my story before they sent me all of that unnecessary hate.

It wasn’t just a smut story - it was a story that contained smut, and there’s a difference.

There are many people who use smut purely as a way to let loose on some of their most wild fantasies (whether those fantasies are morally grounding or not is a totally different topic), and honestly, as long as it doesn’t involve anything unsavory (and you all know EXACTLY what I’m talking about and if you don’t then bless you, you are what’s right with this world) then it really isn’t any of my damn business what they choose to write about on the internet.

I’m not their fucking mom. I’m not their therapist. I’m not their dictator or their president and, quite frankly, they are NOT my responsibility. I can look at something and be like, damn, that’s kind of fucked up in a way that my own emotional trauma doesn’t cope well with (I am not a foot fetish person blah gag sorry I just don’t get the appeal LMAO), but then I can just scroll past it and move on with my day.

But writing a story that contains smut doesn’t mean the story itself isn’t trying to make some kind of a point, or portray some type of healthy boundaries within a sexually active relationship (whatever relationship that may be), or try and enforce the idea that just because you have a connection with someone and just because it feels good, that doesn’t mean things will just magically work out if nobody ever openly discusses what they’re feeling.

That was literally the whole point of Cold Turkey, and I think that if the Anon who sent me that hate were to have actually read the story, then they probably would have recognized that and they might have even appreciated the overall message (or maybe they still wouldn’t, and that’s fine too)!

In the story, Katsuki believes that being attracted to Kirishima is like having an addiction because it helps to put a mental barrier between himself and his emotions that he is so unequipped to handle, and so to combat those undesirable feelings, he reacts in a sexually deviant way because in the moment it feels like the right thing to do in order to get what he wants without having to deal with any of the stuff that he doesn’t. But then he comes to realize that there’s far more to loving another person than just your sexual attraction towards them (which we see when there starts to become this emotional distance between them despite having been such good friends beforehand and despite having taken their relationship to the next level), so then he tries to defensively shoot to the opposite end of the spectrum and ignore literally everything that he is feeling in order to stumble back into the Friend Zone and maintain the relationship that they had before they were ever sexually active with each other - which he then realizes isn’t enough for him anymore. Kirishima was the perfect catalyst for this situation because at the end of the story, he showed Katsuki that there can be a happy medium between them, where they can exist together as friends and as lovers, and how all of that messy emotional stuff can still be portrayed in a healthy, sexy, fulfilling story that keeps the reader invested without falling victim to the same old toxic relationship tropes that usually come with this type of story.

There’s nothing I won’t write about if I have a good reason for it. Pretending that things don’t happen in real life and so shouldn’t happen in fiction is the same as turning a blind eye to gay relationships in fiction as being nothing more than either just “A Light-Hearted Wholesome Fic” or “Ravage Crazy Fantasy Sex.” There is a healthy medium, with beneficial values and positive outcomes, because Love is still Love and the experiences we all go through are one in the same.

Don’t let other people tell you differently. We are all humans, and we all deserve to know that the love we feel for others is in no way deviant or forbidden or taboo (whether that be with another man, or another woman, or another non-binary, or another of any of the other various labels that we like to give that make us easier to separate and manipulate and isolate from each other).

So if I write something with smut in it, or I write something with excessive violence, or I write something unsavory, I’m not doing it for shits and giggles or because I get some kind of sick pleasure from it. I’m not trying to provide shock value and I’m not trying to pry off of other people’s traumatic experiences (I’m not even trying to show any of my own because that’s my own business!)

I think a writer’s responsibility, especially in fiction, is to tell a story; a realistic story, a relatable story, a funny story, a heart-warming story, a sexy story, a heart-wrenching story. And yes, it’s all just fun and games, and no, people probably shouldn’t take it as seriously as they do, but that’s the great thing about participating in fandoms and choosing to be on the internet, everyone has their own opinions and beliefs (whether you like or not), and everyone has advice to give and wisdom to share and not everyone is filled with malicious intent if you’re willing to accept all of that for what it is.

These Ask responses got crazy long LMAO sorry sorry!! I just had so much to say and I wanted to say it in a way where I could get my point of inclusion and perspective across! I feel very passionately about these kinds of things and I don’t generally get to discuss them so openly so I really appreciate anyone who has made it this far! Thank you so much for the questions!! <3

#ask game #writing ask game #asks

[getofy]

matchup: #1 - hq boy w/ an extroverted fem reader!

—a/n: wow im genuinely so sorry for taking so long. literally school is ruining my life and i also um,, haven’t been doing the best this past month. i really hope this makes up for it !! it’s kinda long so my bad...also this is NOT proofread lol i apologize if it sucks aaaa.

DISCLAIMER: while this is a personalized matchup, they’re still headcanons, so basically anyone can enjoy them! :]

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

hello @/meremoomoo ! you are so cute and tysm for being patient about ur request. i debated who you would go well with for a while, but in the end i came up with...

SUGAWARA KŌSHI!

-

#SUGA: “YOU’RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!”

#Y/N: “THANK YOU KŌSHI :].”

-

☆ SUGA IS PERFECT FOR YOU, AND HERE IS WHY—

PERSONALITY TYPE:

suga has a personality type of INFJ, which compliments your ENFP personality type well.

“...you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. your sensitive, sympathetic nature may at times overtake you, leading you to make decisions that feel right but are not really the wisest option. this person, whose approach seems so cold at times, can help you to tune into your powers of objective reasoning and ensure that you are not letting emotions rule your life.” —some website i found

while INFJs are not the most compatible with ESFPs, your other personality type, wonderful things can still come out of INFJ/ESFP dynamics! 

“your differences mean that you actually have a lot to offer one another. your counterpart may inspire you to slow down and think more deeply about the meaning of things, rather than just doing what feels right in the moment. in turn, you can help them to get out of their heads and enjoy life for what it is.” —some website i found

HOW YOU GUYS MET:

sugawara and you did not start off on the right foot at first...

the two of you were in the same class and sat very close to each other so he decided that he really wanted to get to know you.

he also just really likes becoming friends w/ people lol

since you were always laughing loudly with your friends during break time, he deduced that you had a good sense of humor.

he decided that jokes seemed like the right way to get to your heart win you over!

easy enough, right?

wrong.

apparently, he had caught you on a bad day because his attempts to be friendly were not received well. at all.

poor suga.

he does his best to be kind to everybody, but at the same time, he does love to poke fun at others. he probably took one of his jokes too far or something?

or maybe you really were just having a bad day?

who knows.

anyways, after that awkward encounter, he did his best to avoid you.

it’s not that he hated you, it’s just that he thought you hated him. it sort of bummed him out because you seemed cool, but he wanted to be respectful of your feelings!

*sorry it’s not enemies to lovers, but it’s close enough i hope ?

HOW HE DISCOVERED HE LIKED YOU:

the class had finished testing early, so the teacher decided to put on a movie.

AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON THE MOVIE WAS OLD YELLER?!!?!?

(basically it’s just an incredibly depressing dog movie. like, if you’ve never seen it then just imagine the saddest movie you’ve ever seen 10x)

anyways, you ended up crying. very loudly.

sugawara was incredibly concerned for you, since you seemed to be genuinely distraught, but he didn’t say anything

eventually, the teacher caught on to your disarray and excused you from the room so you could go calm yourself down.

after some time, the teacher tells suga to go check up on you to make sure ur not dead or whatever lol (you were taking a while).

he was hesitant to do this since he knew you weren’t too fond of him, but suga decides to do it anyways since he didn’t want to be a disobedient student.

he finds you sitting on a bench with tears streaming down your face

and MAN!!

all at once, suga gets this overwhelming urge to make you feel better. but like, as in, he-never-wants-to-see-you-in-this-kind-of-state again-otherwise-he-might-breakdown kind of urse.

despite not being super close to you, he had gotten so used to your large smiles and extroverted demeanor, that watching you cry felt foreign to him.

he missed your smile.

he soon realizes that seeing you upset hurts him because he genuinely cares about your well-being.

so he decides to make it his personal mission to make you smile again.

suga takes the spot next to you voicelesslyand tries his best to talk you through your dismay.

you don’t seem to mind the company, and to his delight you don’t seem to hate him as much as he thought you did!!

suga is very grateful for this

anyways, he manages to cheer you up, and the tips of your lips turn up into a small grin—just like he wanted them to.

AND BOY OH BOY WHEN THEY DO!!

whew this man’s heart skips a BEAT baby and he is lowkey spiraling lol he’s so confused like why is this girl’s smile making me feel some type of way

he had been so focused on what you thought about him, but he had never once stopped to consider what he thought about you (until this very moment, of course).

turns out suga was incredibly fond of you

yeah, that’s how he knew.

suga brain go brr 4 pretti girl

HOW HE CONFESSES:

you two had been hanging out more frequently as of late

and getting to know you was only making suga‘s crush grow EXPONENTIALLY

after many nights spent in long contemplation, he came to the conclusion that it was time to ‘man-up’ and just rip off the band-aid that was being honest about his feelings.

he buys a single flower (tanaka’s advice) and waits by your locker

very very simple and sweet confession typa beat :(

literally SO nervous pls help . he’s scratching the back of his neck and holding the flower out to you with a slight twinge in his cheeks.

“y/n...i know you weren’t too fond of me at first, but i...i don’t know i think we’re great together! and now that we hang out and stuff i was thinking that maybe we could-“

yeah you cut the poor boy off and said yes to put him out of his misery.

literally verbally celebrates when you accept his flower. does a lil victory dance and everything.

ugh yall r so cute.

AFTER HE CONFESSES:

YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER INSTANTLY WOOOOOO

somehow the most wholesome and chaotic couple to ever exist???

you guys spend like every waking moment together it’s adorable

noya and tanaka would jokingly hit on you and suga would pretend to be actually jealous.

i hc him as being a somewhat possessive-y boyfriend so do w that what you will

total best friend kind of lover but he’s also a sweetheart and rlly romantic + respectful abt ur needs:(

y’all r super comfy w each other !!

WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT YOU:

sugawara is usually the kind of person that’s always there for other people so he appreciates the fact that you’re the same way! you guys bond over your shared therapist/mom-friend tendencies, and quickly become the support systems you so desperately needed prior to getting together.

he’s there to listen to you about your problems and vice versa.

he adores how you can meet and sometimes even exceed his energy. it’s a nice change of pace since he usually gets scolded by daichi. </3

thinks it’s cute how much you care for animals! you’ll often find him staring at you in wonder as you pet a random dog on the street lol.

MISC HEADCANONS:

will spend hours on end watching you play video games on FaceTime. after a while, he ended up buying his own console and now you guys play together!

he’s fairly competitive, and will whine whenever you destroy beat him in a game!

he’s so cute pls

one of his favorite things to do after a long day is sit and play slower paced games such as minecraft and animal crossing with you.

whether it’s about your fav historical monument or about a new show you saw, suga will listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. usually he’s always got something to add to the convo though. sometimes you guys get overly excited together and end up speaking over each other in the same way.!

is INCREDIBLE at getting you to calm down?? like, if you ever need to be put in your place, suga knows exactly what to say to do it. does this make sense? lol. you guys have big ying and yang energy sometimes i feel.

you’re his BIGGEST supporter. whenever he’s put into games, you’re always the LOUDEST one cheering him one.

it really touches him to know that you’ll always be there to root for him!! even mr.refreshing gets down sometimes, so it’s incredible to have someone as positive as you by his side constantly reassuring him.

he’s a big animal person as well so you guys like going to volunteer at shelters together!

this was actually your second date HAHA.

if a dog is within a 40 ft radius from y’all, it is almost guaranteed that you guys will sprint to go pet them.

since you’re both athletic, you guys help each other practice sports together! suga’ll throw u soft toss and help you run drills and hype u up before games. & you’ll help him work on his technique and such <33.

y’all totally gossip together wow. you said you were a bit on the meaner side of the spectrum and lowkey he doesn’t mind AT ALL. he lives for it HAHAHAHA.

he literally thinks you’re stunning so it upsets him whenever you get insecure, but he’s always got the right thing to say to cheer you up! genuinely just,,,, so good with his words. if you’re having a bad night, he’s ready to come to your rescue with a gentle smile and funny one-liner and maybe a documentary if you’re lucky enough.

in his eyes, everything about you is beautiful. your hair. your freckles. your body. your laugh. your smile. everything!! he’s going to do whatever it takes for you to love yourself in the same way he loves you.

this man so whipped smh 🙄🙄

tl;dr: suga thinks you hate him. you don’t. you start hanging out. he confesses to you by the lockers. you start dating. you are infinitely better at gaming than he is and will never let him forget it.

YOUR ANTHEMS (in no particular order):

darling by christian leave

pleasantries (with your lover) by mustard service

upside down by jack johnson

sunflower, vol.6 by harry styles

what do you like in me? by nasty cherry

MOODBOARD:

pic 1 | pic 2 | pic 3 | pic 4

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈«

—CONGRATS! YOU’VE WON THE HEART OF ONE OF THE PRETTIEST SETTERS ON THE BLOCK. TREAT HIM WELL! ☆

*do not repost my work without proper credit and my explicit premission

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#maksmatchups #haikyuu!! #anime #haikyuu x reader #hq headcanons #hq matchups #karasuno #karasuno x reader #hq #haikyuu fluff #sugawara koshi #suga x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara x y/n #sugawara x you #sugawara koshi x reader #sugawara koshi x you #sugawara koshi x y/n

[smile-files]

melon’s comprehensive kinlist!

including name of character, source, image, short personality description, mbti, and then why i kin them! take your time to read, or don’t. i get it if you don’t want to scroll through an entire page just to psychoanalyze me lmao, have a good time

1. wirt (over the garden wall)

an angsty, socially awkward dweebus who nerds out over interior design and plays the clarinet. fears death. infp.

my first kin! for a month after rewatching otgw i desperately wanted to be him. to be like him. anything!! it eventually wore away but i still feel that urge sometimes - the urge to write r/im14andthisisdeep poetry and to distance one’s self from their siblings... and heck - his tape for sara is indeed just as awkward as he is but let me assure you that his poetry and clarinet are actually pretty cool. 9/10 i need to see him more. give me more otgw comics. ok thanks.

2. snufkin (moomins)

a philosophical vagabond of vague age. acts stoic all the time but can and will leave every social situation whether or not it’s humanly possible. infp.

after watching some 90s moomin (and later on moominvalley) i realized how much i liked him and how much i was like him; i soon daydreamed of myself, as snufkin, venting to someone. it made me very happy. i vibe with his general demeanor and ideals (minus his gripes about rules, i follow those by the book) and i love psychoanalyzing him. so fun. so fun.

3. arnold perlstein (the magic school bus)

overly-anxious jewish kid and certified expert on rocks and panicking. owns a pair of fire-proof pyjamas in a lovely shade of green. isfj.

you all saw this one coming. my early childhood lives in my mind rent free and such i can’t help but revisit arn and his character. i’ve always loved him (even in, and quite possibly especially in, the reboot) and i’ve always loved psychoanalyzing every single little thing he does (remember that one time he said he was traumatized? me too). i soon realized a lot of it was me projecting! so sue me. actually, sue miss frizzle. either one of them. i mean, if arnold really didn’t like the field trips he could’ve just filed a restraining order! ...just saying.

4. fluttershy (my little pony)

anxious pastel butterfly baby child. probably loves animals more than she loves herself. cries upon impact. isfj.

the pony i’d mentally point to and think “me”. i had like 10 fluttershy-related things growing up, like plushies or funko pops or that sdcc guardians of harmony thing. while not shy in the same manner, it was nice having a character i could relate to about so much! i cosplayed as her equestria girls form for my first comic con as well, so that’s pretty cool. in addition, me being a little lepidopterist means i was bound to love her. it was destiny~

5. lammy lamb (um jammer lammy)

socially anxious and generally anxious rock star who thinks literally everything is a guitar. has an emotional support girlfriend. infp.

man!! she embodies the feeling when you have to go to the eye doctor by yourself to get your glasses fixed or when you have to call someone over the phone... that sheer tension. the panic. the feeling of ‘i want to throw my entire being into the trash can’. but lammy has a bunch of friends to support her, so she’s cool. died by slipping on a banana peel! same, sister. and man would i like to shred on my ukulele now...

6. loser (bfb)

humble (screw bfb 21), supportive, well-loved cube dude who’s voice is like that of an angel. has an entire fanclub in his honor. enfj.

okay, no, i was never a cool kid or ‘popular’, really, but in school i was never bullied for whatever reason and was generally well-liked; i hung out with a squad of weirdos and yet the cool kids would often talk to me? and try to engage me?? despite my very apparent self-deprecation and awkwardness??? either way i feel like it’s such a blessing to me, that i have so many friends! i often feel like i don’t deserve it, but hey. it’s nice! and heck, back when i was on scratch i had a little fanclub myself :0

7. fan (inanimate insanity)

nerdy, friendly aspie boyo who subliminally vents via blogging. longs for stability in his life; was best friends with an egg. entp.

ever since i noted his aspergers-like behavior i became super attached to him - whether or not it was intentional, i found it nice having a character i can relate those feelings with. he’s really sweet and dorky and i love how he gets along with test tube, paintbrush, and lightbulb! it makes me really happy to see him whenever i do. it made me really sad when he was eliminated. what the heck. yeah i dunno i don’t kin him super strongly but i love him to bits.

8. spinel (steven universe the movie)

emotionally unstable clown girl who stood in a garden for thousands of years. patience of a saint. edge like an 11-year-old me. esfp.

uhh um uh totally wasn’t completely disturbed by how much i related to spinel after watching steven universe the movie... totally wasn’t reminded about how and why i hated middle school... totally didn’t rethink my life that day... that’s it. this is all i’m saying.

9. molly blyndeff (epithet erased)

innocent child who has a terrible father and a wonderful demeanor. teddy bear who needs a hug and a criminal as her new dad. infp.

epithet erased is adorable okay?? i knew molly was infp in the first few minutes... more precisely, i knew she was me. man!! i don’t relate directly to her angst but i still feel it. i can replicate her voice so accurately it’s scary. also, i coined a new thing -  ‘molly cake’! you have a chocolate cake, preferably with chocolate chips inside. use chocolate frosting and add little pastel star sprinkles! on top! my mom would make this cake for us anyway but then i realized it was literally just molly in cake form. and it’s just as sweet!

10. tommy coolatta (hlvrai)

a 30-something-year-old child who rocks a propeller hat. chose his last name off of a dunkin donuts menu despite the fact that he has a father. infp.

everyone loves tommy. he’s so sweet? and funny and loveable?? often times when i say something funny but bizarre, i just remember that tommy has said ‘soda helps you see faster’ and it makes me happy. if i’m going to be a weirdo i want to be the wholesome weirdo who loves soda and has a .png for a dog! also i legally have to kin tommy. i took a test for it (and i’m not complaining! i find it quite flattering).

11. twyla (monster high)

the daughter of the boogeyman; would very much like to boogey out of here, if you know what i mean. avoids people like the plague. infj.

seeing her role in the show and in the movies, i really love twyla? first of all, her voice is my new favorite thing. it’s like... gravelly? and soft? she’s the type of person who would very much like to disappear when in a crowd; thankfully, she literally can. i am drawn to any sarcastic, self-deprecating introvert who takes care of their bonkers extrovert friend (in this case howleen), as i often act as such myself. also the phrase ‘boogey sand’ will never leave my mind now :)

12. lapis lazuli (steven universe)

water gem who wants you to leave. cynical as all heck, sensitive as all hell. is there such thing as a gem therapist? just asking. infp.

in a similar way to twyla, i vibe with lapis’ sarcasm and wit as well as her emotional side. it can be kind of addicting, isolating one’s self. anywho, me and my sister used to do this routine of yelling up to each other this certain dialogue between lapis and peridot when peri was leaving for something (in which lapis replied to everything she said with dry ‘yeah’s); i would always do lapis’ part. i do reply a lot with ‘okay’ or ‘yeah’ or ‘cool’ to things people tell me, as i never really know what to say.

13. brad meltzer (xavier riddle and the secret museum)

shy jewish butterfly kid who absolutely hates time travel. attracted to people who know how to socialize like a normal human being. infp(?).

okay okay so... combine everything from arnold and everything from fluttershy and that’s basically what brad is to me. a jewish socially anxious nerd who loves butterflies and drawing. badabing badaboom, there i am. that’s it.

and boom! all of the kins i can think of, of course not including comfort characters like will byers from stranger things or isabelle from animal crossing. if you have any kins to suggest to me, i would love it! thank you for taking your time to read this, friend! have a fantastic day :)

#melonposting #extreme melonposting #kin #kins #kinlist #i will not tag every character here for the love of god #13. 13 is the number of the kins #good night folks :pensive:

[wanderingsoul]

questions to ask yourself before the new year except its february and we’re in a pandemic

what is one small way you can become a better person? for others? for yourself?

i can become a better person by addressing the trauma that i carry, and addressing it, and learning to cope with it better. i can be a better friend, parter, daughter and sister by leaning into the parts of myself that are broken and taking the time to pursue healing in meaningful ways. i can become a better person by taking responsibility for my growth and healing and actively work towards a more healed, wholesome version of myself. 

what are you holding onto currently that is no longer serving you? why are you holding on? what’s one small step you can take towards releasing it?

i am holding on to the idea that i can fix those around me. being in a partnership/friendship with someone that openly expresses brokenness pulls on the need inside of me to fix things, and fix her. except thats not how people work, and thats not how healthy relationships work. i am holding on to this because for a long time, and sometimes i think to this day, i have been the glue for so many people. i am the common denominator, i am the steady, i am the savior. and being with alexa is a challenge because i have to be fully present, and wanting to support, with the very present knowledge that i can do absolutely nothing to make her feel better, and i might get my feelings hurt if i try. 

goal for the new year that excites me? goal that scares me?

the goal that excites me the most this year is buying a house. it feels like another piece in the puzzle of the ever-elusive “perfect life”. having a house, two cats and a garden is a dream that i am so desperately hoping becomes a reality this year. 

a goal that scares me is getting a therapist. i put it on my new years goals and here we are, almost march and i am no closer to reaching that goal. there are lots of things about therapy that are scary, being vulnerable mostly. and also the fear that i am going to open a can of worms that i can’t put back. and at the same time, i am afraid i am going to do the same thing i did last time - convince my therapist i was completely healed and didn’t need her help anymore to make her feel like she did a good job. probably one of the most toxic people pleasing i have ever done.... yikes. so this year, i want to be vulnerable and open with a therapist- and truly learn from them. 

what do you want to be a student of in the new year?

i want to be the student of self-love this year. i feel like i have so much to learn from her, and truly so much to gain. as i am on this journey of ~weight loss~ healthy living i want to learn how to truly love myself- in all the forms that i take. one of the childhood and teen traumas that i carry around is self-loathing for my physical body, and extreme uncomfortableness i feel inside of her. my body was different than i thought it should be, and i never felt thin or pretty enough. even though looking back i could not have been any thinner without blowing away. as i try and lose some weight to get back to a healthy range, its so tempting to chase that skinniness that seems closer than ever now. i don’t ever want to think about my body in a good or bad way again, the same with food. i want it all to be neutral and purposeful. i don’t want body positivity, i just want body neutrality. i want to be comfortable and unbothered. i want to take pictures and look for the joy and not be hyperfocused on the rolls. 

a quote that i am taking with me on this journey - 

“what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written, or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your things were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juice creative life of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? it’s going to break your heart. don’t let this happen.” - author unknown

who in your life deserves the biggest thank you for this year?

i am thankful for karl because of his understanding of me. i am thankful for mikaela for being a rock in my life and a cheerleader. i am thankful for silka because she offers more love than i know what to do with. i am thankful for alexa because she pushes me to be a better person. i am thankful for my mom, and her patience with me as i grow. i am thankful for my dad, and the hands-off role he has taken in my life. i am thankful for the friends that were patient and kind with me this year as i stayed away from most of them. 

what can you thank yourself for this year?

i am thankful for the resiliency and grit it took to get through this year. feeling extremely burnt-out, from the pandemic, from social work and from life. managed to get a new job which is furthering my career in the healthcare field, managing to save a little money to buy a house. making it through the panic attacks and crying in the car at the thought of the losses in my life. thankfulness for the home that i have in myself, and the peace and safety i offer myself to be who i am and to encourage growth. 

what have you outgrown this year?

i have outgrown pointless complaining. life is what you make it (to some degree) and i am choosing joy where i can and peace towards things i cannot affect. 

what is an important boundary to set in the new year?

it is important to me this year to set emotional boundaries this year and create language to protect myself when i find myself trying to fix my partner and getting into old negative habits. 

what’s a memory from this past year that makes you smile just thinking about it?

now this one’s a bit challenging because of the pandemic and social tension of this year, but i am choosing to focus on the personal good that happened in my life. 

january- three way kiss with mariah and alexa. iceskating in CVS field with dalton. getting naked in the woods at taylors falls. 

february - tall heights concert. drinks at cowboys with emily, alexa, sarah and meghan. raincloud and strawberry tattoos. 

march - up/down bar with jaden and silka-getting mexican at 3am. cuddles on the couch with hippo while everyone was gone over spring break. drinking wine and looking at art at bethel. christian living on our couch- hiking afton. our neighbor mark gets his dog ella. 

april- doordashing with knute- danny davito picture. staying with karl and mikaela for 3 weeks. getting drunk with jimu // garage door beer challenge. getting to ride on todd’s motorcycle. 

may- seeing juneau for the first time. knute’s “just friends” instagram post. biking along st. croix with john. fishing with jaden at rapidan dam. lilac bushes blooming at the ranch. alexa’s graduation surprise. rollerblading... canoeing lake iduhapi with callie, sam, alexa and knute and smearing ourselves in charcoal. eating chinese and drinking wine for alexa’s birthday. 

june- watching the dad’s try and fit our couch into the house. GFS- nightwatches, curfews. birthday bagels on the balcony. celebration at camp iduhapi. biking in northfield with jen. adopting juneau! bringing her everywhere with me. fathers day with john eating tacos. breonna taylor march. getting drenched walking around bdemakaska. 

july- bee’s knees tattoo. cabin trip to barnum lake with alexa and jen. celebrating anthony’s birthday with alexa and erin (moving the gravestone). duluth trip with sam, knute and lea - jumping into lake superior. trip to padre island with john-getting way too burnt to function. chic fil a drivethrough with juneau. 

august- camping trip with mikaela -attempt to get into canada and immediatly denied. murder mystery at emily’s house. rain on the patio for emily’s birthday. golden retriever puppies. dinner date with emma downtown minneapolis. annual brule trip- flipped the canoe. 

september - alexa and i take a fake trip to ny. celebrating john’s birthday. visiting jeff’s farm. celebrating jen’s birthday in northfield. shooting pumpkins with jen. another trip up to barnum lake with karl, mikaela and seth. minnehaha trip with emma. jack’s apple farm trip. 

october- camp trip, reffing football. making apple crisp. murder mystery night for sarah’s birthday. thrifting outdoor outlet with emma and lea. hanging with ozzy the cat. photoshoot with alexa and hippo. halloween party at caitlin’s house- being velma and daphne with alexa. 

november - start working at bluestone. dinner at pub in minneapolis with jen where we die laughing. winning monopoly with callie and tyler. hiawatha hike with alexa. thanksgiving at silka’s. 

december - giving the cats a bath. accidentally breaking into a cemetery with alexa. muffin’s christmas photoshoot. christmas at jens. sea world with molly, kody and kids, seth, john, k&m -forcing ourselves to watch blackfish the next day. tattoos! hammocking by the river. almost running into the elementary school on jimu’s dirtbike. 

[justalittlelitnerd]

What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera

“I don’t know if we’re a love story or a story about love. But I know whatever we are that it’s great because we kept jumping through the hoops in the first place.”

I didn’t think this story could possibly be cuter than I expected to be but it was. It far surpassed my expectations with it’s quirky, insecure ensemble of characters and the story was written in a way that convinced me to accept such an open ending when usually that’s my biggest pet peeve.

Overall, this story is just a fun take on a whirlwind summer romance because it pulls in all the weird, slightly crazy aspects of modern dating like missed connections and the ease of internet stalking. It was exactly what I needed as a counterbalance to the dumpster fire that is 2020 and if you’re looking for that brief escape into a wholesome, awkward romance and story about first loves and second chances and the complexity of dating and friendships than I would highly recommend!  

My only semi-complaint were the issues within Arthur, Jessie, and Ethan’s friendship could’ve been fleshed out more to do justice to the time the authors took to flesh out the side characters and their relationships with the main characters. I felt like that fight didn’t balance out the fight Ben had with Dylan because it was clear how that disagreement was building over the course of the summer. Also it felt too obvious that Jessie and Ethan were secretly dating and I was confused and unsatisfied by Ethan’s explanation that he didn’t text Arthur back the whole summer simply because it felt like lying and didn’t think twice about how ignoring Arthur (especially right after he came out) would make him feel. Also the whole time it made it seem like Arthur and Jessie were slightly closer and she had no qualms texting him and lying to him all summer and let’s just say I’m not as forgiving as Arthur was.

Let me know your thoughts!

Keep reading for some fun quotes I saved!

Normally, being an intern is more boring than terrible, but today’s uniquely shitty. You know that kind of day where the printer runs out of paper, and there’s none in the supply room, so you try to steal some from the copier, but you can’t get the drawer open, and then you push some wrong button and the copier starts beeping? And you’re standing there thinking that whoever invented copy machines is this close to getting their ass kicked? By you? By a five-foot-six Jewish kid with ADHD and the rage of a tornado? That kind of day? Yeah.

I believe in love at first sight. Fate, the universe, all of it. But not how you’re thinking. I don’t mean it in the our souls were split and you’re my other half forever and ever sort of way. I just think you’re meant to meet some people. I think the universe nudges them into your path.

Ex-boyfriend. Which means Box Boy dates guys. And okay. Wow. This doesn’t happen to me. It just doesn’t. But maybe the universe works differently in New York. Box Boy dates guys. I’M A GUY.

It’s weird—now I want to prove it. I want some gay ID card to whip out like a cop badge. Or I could demonstrate in other ways. God. I would happily demonstrate.

“On the sad scale, how are you feeling today?” Dylan asks. “Opening-montage-of-Up sad? Or Nemo’s-mom-dying sad?” “Whoa, no. Definitely not opening-montage-of-Up sad. That shit was devastating. I’d guess I’m somewhere in between, like last-five-minutes-of-Toy-Story-3 sad. I just need time to bounce back.”

“Let’s talk about why you really didn’t mail the breakup box,” Dylan says, like he’s going to bill me for this conversation. “Only if you drop the therapist voice,” I say. “Maybe we can begin with why my tone bothers you. Do I remind you of an authority figure?”

I’m certain that I’m 100 percent gay because if I was even 1 percent bisexual I would be crushing hard on Samantha for looks and high energy alone. Dylan watches Samantha as if she were glowing, and I wonder when I went dim for Hudson. If I ever really glowed for him at all.

“I would love to start my own app games. I have this one idea. It’s like Frogger, but instead of heavy-traffic streets, it takes place on the sidewalks of New York. You die if you get hit with someone’s shopping cart and you lose points if you cross a tourist’s path while they’re taking photos.

Emotional blue balls. That’s what it feels like. It’s being handed everything you’ve ever longed for, only for it to slip through your fingers. And there’s no way to fix it. Nothing you can do but slink toward the kitchen counter in a full-body mope.

"You’re not being fair to yourself,” Dylan says. “Maybe not. But I’m being honest.”

It’s this strangling fear that we’ll be sitting there and we’ll run out of something to say and I’ll be able to witness the exact moment someone falls out of love with me because I don’t have enough substance to keep a conversation alive over a meal. Why would you want to talk to me for the rest of your life?

But no. Not even close. Instead, it’s me bleeding out all my neuroses, looking for answers to questions I have no right to be asking. But I don’t know how to make myself stop asking them. People like me should come with a mute button.

I have only said one word on this call—a call I made—and I’m already ready to settle into another few hours of Arthur rambling. It’s better than my favorite Lorde and Lana Del Rey songs.

“You can sing a different song next time,” I say. I like that we’ll have a next time. That even though things have gone wrong, we’ve tried to make it right. “So I was nervous to admit this at karaoke, but—” “Please don’t tell me you’re actually a bunch of rats wearing a cute boy as a disguise.” “Worse.” I take a deep, dramatic breath. “I haven’t listened to Hamilton.” He doesn’t say anything. Then the line goes dead.

I tell him how I want to write Hamilton and Harry Potter crossover fanfiction and call it The Great American Fantasy Novel and stage all those duels in the dueling club and what houses I would sort everyone in.

“All history should be taught through rap by Lin-Manuel Miranda.”

“How lucky we are to be alive right now, right?” “Oh my god, you’re speaking Hamilton—I’m just so into you. I’m helpless.” I’m so into him too.

“For the most part, I think. But every city has its assholes.” I want to hug him, but he doesn’t want to be touched right now. Like any affection is going to become a target sign on our backs. Like we’ll get punished because our hearts are different.

But it’s just like the old posts on Instagram that I can’t get myself to just delete. Like Hudson never happened. Like he’s someone to be ashamed of. And throwing away the good memories feels like a slap in the face to our history. It has nothing to do with the future.

When the song ends, I’m ready to apologize. But Arthur takes my phone and looks up a cover of “Only Us” from Dear Evan Hansen, and he comes closer to me as he sings the words “So what if it’s us, what if it’s us, and only us.” This song is so beautiful. What it feels like to be wanted by someone who sees you for who you are. How the world—the business of Times Square—can feel like it’s falling away when you’re with the right person.

But maybe this isn’t how life works. Maybe it’s all about people coming into your life for a little while and you take what they give you and use it on your next friendship or relationship. And if you’re lucky, maybe some people pop back in after you thought they were gone for good.

Maybe I’m feeling masochistic. Or maybe I’ve unlocked the secret, and this is how people focus. All you have to do is have a cute boy rip your heart out, then let your best friends stomp all over it, and if it’s still beating even a little bit, finish the job yourself. Say the worst things and yell your voice raw and destroy everything you love until, lo and behold, the monotony of work is a relief.

I don’t know how to tell Hudson that I want to throw away a box of things that used to mean everything to me. But that fucking box. I can’t keep treating it like something that belongs in a museum’s exhibit specializing in one guy’s history of breaking hearts.

“Do not ask any what-if questions about you and Hudson dating again. That would probably end in literal heartbreak at the hands of someone pretty familiar with the law because of his summer internship but too reckless to care.”

It’s hard to be a fully functioning Arthur when your heart lives in four envelopes.

I can’t lose you forever. You can’t be someone I just knew for one summer. I have to know you every summer.

#what if it's us #Becky Albertalli #adam silvera #ya #young adult #summer romance #mlm #nyc #coming of age #friendship #books #book quotes #book blog #booklr #quotes #just some softbois falling in love during a summer in nyc #lots of hamilton references

[apologies-in-advance]

scene bucket #5(?)

marion: why do we never get percy with feeling

feelings*

like

kristin: ?

marion: this kid has problems

and 

we never talk about them at all canonically

kristin: yeah, idk

like there are (that i know of) two instances of ptsd

in the entire series

which, okay, kids book, but still

he's like seventeen (and so are the rest of them)

they've seen who knows how many deaths. like...

marion: isn't it a YA book tho?

kristin: yeah

but

i think it was targeted to like 13/14?

idk...

marion: harry potter has death plots and people bleeding out and george being rightfully upset about fred

but like

pjo is just yes we have problems in the subtext

kristin: that is one thing i missed.

that i want.

(which probably makes me horrible, idk)

marion: no i kind of want it too

kristin: xD

are we bad people?

marion: no

i think we just want someone to finally be sad

kristin: yeah

marion: bc these kids are like

always happy

bar leo who canonically is depressed but they NEVER SAY IT

kristin: right

like, for example, i feel like with all those deaths (especially, for example, like Bianca and Beckendorf) and with Percys fatal flaw

he'd really beat himself up

like, more so than in the books.

and like Hazel literally was in the underworld.

and even though she was in the fields of asphodel. i feel like that would mess someone up.

marion: hazel faced discrimination 

uhM

kristin: eurgh

i've always wanted to explore that, tbh

like, i have this thing that when she finally comes back, she asks Nico where a bathroom is, and he shows her

and she's like "that's not funny"

because there's different colored people in  there, too

marion: oh

that's

that's kind of depressing

kristin: oof.

sorry.

idk, its just how i always imagined it going down.

marion: no no you're right

im just

kind of sad

that that would happen

kristin: yeah, ik

marion: to cinnamon roll hazel

kristin: (literally one of my favorite characters)

marion: *sob* i cant deal with this

:'(

this genuinely makes me want to cry

i dont-

how????

kristin: you imagine how hard it would be for her to have to adjust to like having a brother

that was

eurgh

sorru

*sorry

( i don't know if the term white is offensive or not)

marion: nah 

kristin: okay, okay just checking

marion: poor cinnamon roll

kristin: D:

marion: i want to hug her and never let go

kristin: sammee

marion: ndfowendonwefon hazel is best

kristin: ikr

marion: hazel deserves best

kristin: yes

like she had to watch her mom die

in front of her

and she thought it was her fault

marion: hazel has angst, percy has angst, leo has angst

like her fatal flaw is guILT

angst budddiees

marion: :[

the angst trio

they cry themselves to sleep and pretend they're ok!

kristin: stOP

that's soo sad.

marion: everyone tries and subsequently fails to get them to talk about their problems

kristin: yeah, ik.

and they're just like, i'm fine. 

Stop! Get some help!

marion: we're fine *sobbing*

kristin: through their tears

like, the rest of the seven can hear them crying through the thin walls of the Argo but nobody says anything

marion: *whispers* trauma? never heard of her

kristin: whose she?

honestly, though, like *sighs* it's so sad

marion: hahahaha...

kristin: haha.

*sighs*

like, the fates or whatever terrible being is in charge, just throw these kids and a satyr

on a flying boat

to destroy the earth

in order to save it

marion: and only one of them is mostly ok

actually coach hedge seems ok

kristin: yeah

maybe a little wack-o

but...

otherwise, fine

marion: so 2 out of 8

kristin: (unless we're counting nico)

marion: 2/9

kristin: Who, i think doesn't get as much appreciation as he should

reyna? 

marion: 2/10

kristin: ooh, yes

oh, gods were making it worse

marion: 1/5

uhm that's pretty small

thalia?

2/11

kristin: sTOP i feel nico should get more recognition, though. like, he went 

through tartarus.

alone.

marion: i think he and will are a focus in toa

but idk

kristin: (informercial voice Only 2 out of 11 demigods per year are mostly okay)

yeah idk either

marion: hey coach hedge isnt a demigod

kristin: CaUsE i HaVenT rEaD iT

oh no.

oops

...

marion: only 1/10 demigods are estimated to be mostly ok

one

out of

kristin: -that's-depressing-

marion: ten

kristin: one

out

of

ten

marion: low statistics

kristin: the weight of the worlds

*words

(like the weight of the sky on Percy and Annabeths shoulders)

marion: imagine the demigods making an 'into to chb!' video

kristin: uh oh

marion: and they're like so what's so great about being a demigod? and they all have fake cheery voices and blah

percy's just nothing. nothing is good about being a demigod. have fun dying before 18.

i literally barely made it.

they're like

can i quit?

no. no you can't

kristin: can i be fired?

marion: no.

please?

dang it

uhm

kristin: but you can die

:D

have fun!

marion: how is that bETTTER

kristin: *whispers* it might be

nO WHAT HAVE I DONE

...

marion: i dont like the brutal honesty in this conversation

kristin: :/

i don't either, honestly.

*hA honestly*

*brutal honesty?*

*no? okay i'm sorry*

marion: *sob*

kristin: no, i'm fine.

they're all fin

marion: just fine.

kristin: loOK what i found

 " The cab sped west. Every gust of wind through Death Valley sounded like a spirit of the dead. Every time the brakes hissed on an eighteen-wheeler, it reminded me of Echidna’s reptilian voice."

tlt

marion: i-

my dude

get some help

perCY

kristin: he doesn't need it

'member?

marion: YES HE DOES

HE FRIGGIN NEEDS THERAPY

kristin: " She made one more attempt to speak, but the sound was gone. Her image melted away. If it was my mother, I had lost her again. I felt like drowning myself. The only problem: I was immune to drowning."

" The last thing I remembered was sinking in a burning sea, knowing that Tyson was gone forever, and wishing I were able to drown"

marion: IJBUWFDWBJVH GCWDBIUWS

he wants

to

DrOWN

himself

and he would

kristin: " Thing is, as I was choking just now, I kept thinking: this is payback for Akhlys. The Fates are letting me die the same way I tried to kill that goddess. And … honestly, a part of me felt I deserved it. That’s why I didn’t try to control the giant’s poison and move it away from me. That probably sounds crazy"

that was blood of olympus!

marion: NO NO NO NO NO NO NONO NONONONO

kristin: yEAH 

he was talking to Jason

after they were underwater or whatever

marion: and jason did nothing????

bRO

kristin: he said

marion: help hIM

kristin: Jason thought back to Ithaca, when he was despairing over the visit from his mom’s spirit. ‘No. I think I get it.’   

THEN

they act like nothing happened

   Percy studied his face. When Jason didn’t say any more, Percy changed the subject.   

marion: :[

jASON

kristin: >:{

marion: jASON ASNd PERCY

kristin: D:

marion: iowahdnbxcunejwqzhs  UGGYUSKNM

kristin: wonder how many more examples there are....

marion: oh no

my stars

kristin: ik

this is depressing   

marion: wow

kristin: what about Frank though?

or PIPER

like he dad got kidnapped

*her

and then like she finally saved him

and he was like you're a hero

and then she had to ERase his Memory

marion: oof

true

kristin: like, it's obviously not as bad as the others

but still.

marion: yeah

kristin: *exhales*

DD:

im sorry

one more

" " She shook her head. ‘I’m not Caesar. After finding Jason’s note in Diocletian’s Palace, tracking you down was easy. I only did what I thought was necessary.’ Percy couldn’t help smiling. ‘Reyna, you’re too modest. Flying halfway across the world by yourself to answer Annabeth’s plea, because you knew it was our best chance for peace? That’s pretty freaking heroic.’ Reyna shrugged. ‘Says the demigod who fell into Tartarus and found his way back.’ ‘He had help,’ Annabeth said. ‘Oh, obviously,’ Reyna said. ‘Without you, I doubt Percy could find his way out of a paper bag.’ ‘True,’ Annabeth agreed. ‘Hey!’ Percy complained. The others started laughing, but Percy didn’t mind. It felt good to see them smile. Heck, just being in the mortal world felt good, breathing un-poisonous air, enjoying actual sunshine on his back. Suddenly he thought of Bob. Tell the sun and stars hello for me. Percy’s smile melted. Bob and Damasen had sacrificed their lives so that Percy and Annabeth could sit here now, enjoying the sunlight and laughing with their friends. It wasn’t fair. ""

marion: i-

sang it

dang it

kristin: you sang it

marion: a nice wholesome moment turned into angst

kristin: ikr

DID YOU

SEE

THAT THEORY

about Zoe and bob?

marion: ?no

kristin: HOLD ON

this is game changing

this is what i'm talking about

Bob's a titan.

He's related to Atlas, yes?

You know who else is related to Atlas? Zoe.

Bob=related to Zoe

You know what her last words were? She said 'I can see the stars again, my lady.' before Artemis turned her into a constellation.

Constellation=Stars

'Tell the stars hello'=Tell my cousin/sister/relative hello

marion: *SOB*

i cant do this

kristin: In Greek mythology, Iapetus was a Titan, the son of Uranus and Gaia and father of Atlas

marion: pjo and hoo have too much angst for my pathetic heart

kristin: s

a 

m

e

so... bob is zoe's grandfather

marion: aw........

kristin: balling like a baby

marion: *SOBSBsbhsbejdbfeid*

kristin: YES

marion: you cant do this to me

kristin: i'm sorry

marion: i cant do this

this makes me so depressed

osinfdejnd

how

kristin: i have no idea

marion: bob and zoeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

kristin: D':

yo, imagine how Annabeth and Percy would react if they figured it out

marion: no nonOnONOnONONoNOn

kristin: I think they'd break

at least percy

marion: percy is sad

kristin: eurgh

marion: it's too much

kristin: you know what the worst part is?

marion: what

kristin: his friends don't even know it

they probably think he's actually fien

*fine

marion: i-

what...

hold up

no

nopr

no

no

no

no

kristin: they just think he's this upbeat optimistic sarcastic person

makes people laugh because it's a tension releaser

marion: ,'(

kristin: eurgh

marion: get some help, already

kristin: you know what they should have?

a camp therapist. like some Apollo camper, or smth

marion: something

kristin: yeah

for those who would be WILLING

*cough* not percy *cough

he'd be like I'm fiiine

marion: i dont need therapy

kristin: ha

yeah

marion: yup

kristin: Perce, you sure?

yep

ha

marion: uhm

yeah just gonna

go now...

kristin: *shrugs* okay. whatever you say

*walks away*

marion: *sob* yeah im fine

kristin: they don't even turn around (cus they can't hear him [cause it was internal])

marion: *internal breakdown*

kristin: (meanwhile, on the outside) *grins at whatever dumb joke Jason told him*

*or Leo

marion: :')

kristin: just

fine

whAT ARE WE DOING

marion: poor perce

kristin: Dx

marion: percy is the type to get shot in the stomach and tell them to go look at annbeth's papercut

kristin: but, yeah srsly

Exhibit A

   "‘You still claim him then?’ Zeus asked menacingly. ‘You claim this child whom you sired against our sacred oath?’ ‘I have admitted my wrongdoing,’ Poseidon said. ‘Now I would hear him speak.’ Wrongdoing. A lump welled up in my throat. Was that all I was? A wrongdoing? The result of a god’s mistake? "

Exhibit B

" ‘Your mother is a queen among women,’ Poseidon said wistfully. ‘I had not met such a mortal woman in a thousand years. Still… I am sorry you were born, child. I have brought you a hero’s fate, and a hero’s fate is never happy. It is never anything but tragic.’ I tried not to feel hurt. Here was my own dad, telling me he was sorry I’d been born. ‘I don’t mind, Father.’ ‘Not yet, perhaps,’ he said. ‘Not yet. But it was an unforgivable mistake on my part.’"

marion: ah and then the mr.brunner incident

kristin: Oh! yes

#pjo #hoo #scenebucket?? #suicide #depressed

[heavencollins]

it’ll pass: ramblings on Fleabag and being completely terrified of real life

chances are if you’re on the internet you’ve probably run into something about Phoebe Waller Bridge’s show Fleabag.  chances are if you’ve heard about it, you’ve watched it.  chances are you probably loved it. if you hated it, we probably can’t be friends and you’ll just have to be okay with that.  

hi, i’m heaven, and i cried my way through all twelve episodes of Fleabag faster than i wanted to.  the thing about this show is that every episode has something in it that i want to cling onto it.  i want to savor every episode as if it is the finest wine being dripped into your mouth from the Hot Priest™ himself.  i want to jump into the bike lane when Fleabag stands there, utterly hopeless and feeling as if there is nothing in the world for her except for being fucked and eventually that’ll go away too.  i want to punch Martin in the face right after Fleabag does at the dinner table. i think i just want to punch Martin in the face in general. i want to go and confess everything to the Hot Priest in the confessional booth and then have him tell me to kneel (i have never…ever seen anything more religiously erotic in my life).  i want to sit next to Fleabag on that bus bench at the end. i want to tell her thank you. Phoebe Waller-Bridge thank you.

some people call Fleabag a hidden tragedy.  but how is real life a tragedy?  do y’all know how many Fleabag’s are out here walking around on the street every day?  Fleabag is a tragedy from the beginning if anything, it’s not “hidden.”  within the first episode we learn things that would be described as “tragic character flaws”: Fleabag is a sex addict, she’s stuck in an on-and-off relationship, she steals a statue from her future step-mom, she’s still reeling over her best friend’s recent-enough death, she has a failing cafe.  Fleabag is all alone in this world.  

Fleabag is a show for those girls who get called monsters in the real world.  it’s a show for me. i don’t know why i’m beating around the bush with this when i already said two paragraphs up that i cried my way through this show.  it’s fucking claustrophobic. it’s kind of scary. i’m scared. it made me scared. life isn’t okay. i’m glad i binged this all at once because season one ends so darkly but season two, and what’s supposedly the final season, gives the viewer a sense of okay-ness.  she’s going to be okay. i’m going to be okay, maybe not right now, and maybe not until my thirties, but dammit i’m going to be okay.  

how do you be so open in your writing when you can barely be open with your therapist? watching this show was the emotional push i think i needed, but not just for my writing, for everything.

i’ve emotionally shut myself off from any real form of connection with people who legitimately want me since a year and a half ago.  i’m not trying to be a bitch to people but i just don’t want to get hurt. is it better to be in love and eventually get hurt or is it just easier to get high off of someone’s affection for a few weeks before they eventually become tired of your indecisiveness?  in therapy i lovingly refer to these men as my drug people, a term i picked up from my favorite author Melissa Broder.  

what’s fucked up is when you start to want the drug people.  genuinely want. you want to touch them, to hug them, to learn what they smell like and if their lips are soft or if they’re always chapped.  to be able to hold them and tell them that you don’t want a moment you share with them to end.  

Hot Priest in Fleabag becomes what i would call Fleabag’s drug person that she starts to actually want.  everybody around her tell she’s impossible to love but then he proves her wrong—he notices the little things she does that nobody else notices.  whenever Fleabag breaks the fourth wall around him, he asks “where’d you go just now? where do you disappear to?” Fleabag feels choked by her own emotions and the wall she put up around herself, breaking down in the confessional booth and telling Hot Priest everything she’s never told a man before. hell, everything she’s never told anyone before.

we see Fleabag go from a woman who breaks up with the same man every few months just to get her apartment deep cleaned, to a woman who feels safe with The Arsehole because she believes he loves her but he’s been in a committed relationship with another woman the whole time, to a woman who is completely alone, and then to a woman who finds herself falling for somebody who actually wants to spend time with her.  

but whenever you reach the “wait this person actually likes spending time with me? and probably likes me?” stage, shit gets real.  shit gets rough. it’s when you feel like you have to find a way out or else you’re going to be burned just like your last relationship.  Fleabag has never thought of herself as a person deserving of wholesome love, of a love that extends further than a sexual relationship. falling in love with a priest is complicated.  falling in love is complicated.  

and maybe Fleabag was right to be reserved at first.  in the end it doesn’t work out despite her and Hot Priest being in love with each other.  he chooses her faith over her, telling her “it’ll pass” after she tells him “i love you.” it’s not a bad breakup.  he tells her “i love you, too.” sometimes you need to let the things you love go—it’s better in the end to stop things when you know they won’t fully work out than let them be beaten into the ground.  it’ll pass. at least you have an amazing love story now.

i’m not sure where i’m going with this.  i’m not in love right now, but i feel attraction towards people.  i’m scared i’ll never be loved. i’m scared i’ll never have a Hot Priest type of love story.  but if Fleabag and Fleabag taught me anything; i’ll end up being okay eventually.

#fleabag #essay #nonfiction #personal

[science-lings]

OC Masterlist

Quick intros for my OCs as I’m going to write about them and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Rosalia Scarlett Dawn AKA Rose- 

My main girl, healing powers, the MCU version of her was recruited by SHIELD right after she got her first PHD after she was caught studying alien biology, takes her a while to become an actual superhero as her healing powers were hard to convert into anything that she could put on the field, with help from her anti-hero/ villain nemesis who she has had sexual tension with ever since they shared a dorm in medical school but then she became unethical and ignorant of the people around her ergo turning into a bad guy. Rose is usually good and wholesome but she has a dark destructive side that was awoken after her nemesis used her powers on her. Rose is selfless to the point of not taking care of herself because any time spent not helping people with her powers is time wasted in her eyes and she tends to take medical cases that no one else can, usually pertaining to other powered people, aliens, magic illnesses, etc. 

Roses Intro Sheet  - SHIELD & Hydra

Andromeda Starling- 

Roses endgame girlfriend, shapeshifter, in the MCU she accidentally used a Hydra spaceship to escape the planet as her parents were both scientists involved with that kind of thing. She didn’t really think it through and she ended up on a skrull refugee planet where she crash landed and had to be enhanced to save her life. She’s not good at teamwork and tends to be a loner as she’s afraid to get close to people. She hates being bossed around and work with other people. She can do most on her own just fine. She hates having to admit she needs help with something. She’s a pretty decent pilot and prefers swords over guns. If she likes someone enough to become attached, she get’s very protective and even a bit clingy but that rarely happens. 

Andromeda’s Intro Sheet - Andromeda Portrait - Simple Lesbians - B&W Portrait

Adisa Crow AKA Doctor Plague-

Roses nemesis, she was subtly jealous of Roses powers so she secretly tried to recreate them, instead the outcome gave her powers that could reverse other’s powers against them and make normal people ill. She became a virus in every sense of the word and even tech malfunctions around her. But her powers affect herself a little, making her go a little crazy over time and more willing to do fucked up things in the name of science. Yes she wears a plague doctor mask that helps her powers not affect herself. Her powers also heighten her negative feelings and only give her relief when she uses her powers on other people as it hates being restricted. She’s given up on being free of it and has embraced her role as a super-plague. It’s actually kind of sad really... 

Adisa Crow Portrait - Nemesis Tension 

Phoenix AKA Maat (Matt) Ramses-

Necromancer goth mom, grew up an orphan with the sorcerers of Kamar Taj as her parents were wakandan sorcerers who died protecting the reality and the ancient one sensed her magic potential, however she wasn’t great at the normal magic that they tried to teach her. She had to steal forbidden books about necromancy to really get a hold of her powers. She left the sorcerers and found others like her, connected to death, and she made a family. but eventually she would have to investigate her roots in wakanda and it may not be pretty. She inherited her parents relics, a gold sword with a hilt of wings and a gold helmet based on the helms of the egyptian pharaohs. Maat didn’t quite work as a vigilante, she just was drawn to people that needed her help and she literally can’t stop herself from intervening when humanity can be so terrible. Anyway she hates cops and abusers and rapists and all that and she does her best to help the people that they hurt. 

Phoenix Portrait  - Open Helmet Idea - The magic relics

Diana Schmitt-  

Trans girl mutant who can control and melt metal and glass, making her own weapons on the fly and using debris to her advantage. Her left arm and her right leg were frozen off by anti-mutant extremists and she makes herself prosthetics with her powers made of glass shards that she can use and layers of different kinds of metal with the outside being gold because she likes the aesthetic. She’s covered in scars from the torture and from her own forging projects. She loves making things and does her best to be positive and kind to other people but trauma is still trauma and superheroes aren’t known for going to therapy. She has PTSD and gets triggered by excessive cold and dark places. She has to learn to confront her pain and move beyond it, while also going to therapy and stuff. 

Diana Portrait - Pride Month Portrait - Early Intro Sheet

Guinevere Kaimana-

literally a mermaid who spent several decades under the water as a hermit and has water powers and electric eel levels of electric powers. (until she’s at her most powerful but still not more than like some thunder in a tropical storm, she can’t like summon lighting to strike people or anything.) In the MCU she’s a mutant who left after her mutation out of fear of rejection and in my fantasy version of my OC universe she’s a pirate mermaid princess. She figured out how to temporarily turn her tail into a tail shaped skirt and tattoos on her legs similar to fishnet tights. She can’t stay human for very long and when she’s human she has to be fully hydrated or she could die. She has an enemies to competitors to friends to lovers with Diana and it’s a very slow burn. 

Gwen Pride Portrait - mermay

Alexandria Iriklitis- 

Superhero therapist with a magic voice. Her singing can manipulate the emotions of anyone that can hear it, even through recordings and microphones and stuff, and eventually she can use it to control objects around her through levitation and even destroying the area around her if she’s emotionally charged and loud enough (which happens when she goes temporarily deaf and thinks that she can’t responsibly use her powers anymore.) She has to be very careful with her powers as music is already made to affect peoples emotions but with her powers, any miscalculation can be destructive. Someone may have bad memories of a happy song and elevate those bad feelings. So she usually depends on non-lyrical songs and her own improvisation skills. In my fantasy OC universe she’s a magic bard that’s drawn to chaos and flirts with everyone because she’s a bard. She tries not to use her magic voice to make people do things they don’t want to do, she tries to not rely on it to get whatever she wants. 

Alex Portrait

Artemis Dawn-

Roses non-powered sister who is a SHEILD agent that struggles with living in her sisters shadow. They go through an arc of repairing their relationship and get to the point of being very close and killing for each other. Artemis specializes in sharpshooting, martial arts, and disguises. She uses makeup and clothing and wigs to completely change her appearance to a point where even the people that know her best won’t recognize her. In the fantasy AU universe she dresses up as a man to become a knight after being shamed out of her princess status. She’s a badass and deals with a major inferiority complex and has to prove that she’s just as good as her superpowered sister. When hydra takes over shield, she has to save her sister from their clutches and causes Roses first power burst that kills the hydra agents by forcing their bones to grow together to turn them into grotesque body horror statues. Fun. Artemis has a cold hard exterior but softens up around her sister and it confuses her colleagues to no end. Not many people knew she could smile outside of a role. 

Artemis Portrait

Unreleased art under the cut!

Gwen without face paint and weird colors, yes her lips are blue all the time

pride drawing for Rose

Phoenix and Diana as part of a mass drawing of my ocs that I gave up on but I liked the way they both looked in it so here it is now.

old headshot when i wanted to experiment with Roses mask

angry freckles

minor oc, i do actually think i posted it but I haven’t made enough about them to know what I want them to be besides absolutely bangin with their character design

COMMISSIONS I’VE HAD DONE OF THEM

Andromeda by tinymintywolf

Anthro Rose by scriiblesbymarti on insta i couldn’t find them on here oof

Spider-rose that I won by emkayoh

rose icon by tinymintywolf

#OC masterlist #send me asks about them #i wanna talk about them #im going to write about them whether you guys like it or not so here's your chance of having a choice in what it ends up being

[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power S01E12 - Light Hope

With that title it can only be "Answers: the episode" or "Some answers but a lot more new questions: the episode" Nothing else to say so let's do this!

What a couple of days for Adora. Princess Prom, rescuing Glimmer, losing Entrapta, being betrayed by her oldest friend... it's no surprise she's freaking out.

I mean, if you already know...

What. Is it because she'd look monstrous or because she'd look like someone Adora would know?

I shouldn't be watching this right after finishing up last episode because I'm all "really? you're really going to make laugh after what you made me go through last episode?"

Oh, I thought we wouldn't see Glimmer until the finale but I guess that'd go against what Glimmer has been doing the entire season. She can't wait for She-Ra to save her, she's probably going to try something else.

A robot from Entrapta?

Oh. The bloodthirsty horse is back.

oh no the horse can talk, can't believe they found a way to make him worse. Also, he radiates big sea hawk energy.

So, did the reptile She-Ra transformed also gain sentience and the ability to speak?

That's more Mermista than Sea Hawk.

This is so dumb. So so dumb. I love it.

And here's the proactivity I was waiting for.

...sure, keep scaring your mother. I'm sure that's going to help Angella stop being so overprotective.

Aw, this is so cute and wholesome. They really needed to just talk.

Poor subtitles, they really struggle trying to catch all of Entrapta. I guess magic _does_ exist separate from whatever the First Ones were doing, they just integrated it into their tech.

Scorpia is the best.

This is supposed to be funny but I just find it sad that no one had the patience to deal with Entrapta before.

But why. Why would a space-faring civilization build something specifically for someone? Her vision did imply she had escaped like superman escaped from Krypton, so... is she the last of her kind?

oooooh

...but why was Adora chosen then?

I think I can see all the princesses we already know, leaving four above (one with a cat's tail? Catra's original family?) and the one in between Netossa and Scorpia. I don't remember them from Princess Prom but I wasn't paying that much attention to the crowd shots. More princesses for the alliance next season~

What _is_ balance in this context? Is it just kicking the horde out of the planet or something else that hasn't been explained? Is it the key to prevent a disaster?

Welp, that sounds dangerously world-ending.

"so, when can we start?"

there you go

welp, that's even creepier than I expected.

Welp, last episode really was a "let go of your attachments" thing. I was hoping it wasn't. Is Adora going to have to give up opening her last chakra because of her earthly attachments?

Wait, wasn't the last She-Ra a thousand years ago? Razz is _old_. Although in a world with immortal queens I guess it's not that surprising. And since it was a thousand years ago Mara can't be Adora's mom. One more theory to the trash.

I wonder if Mara was trying to do the right thing by trying to destroy She-Ra's powers. Maybe they are a threat to something, or maybe the First Ones were evil and she was the first to realize it and try to do something about it.

Replace one bad mother/authority figure with another? It doesn't sound like a good idea.

Adora's strongest power: being a magnet that attracts manipulative authority figures.

Catra's been her best student to her _real_ lessons and she doesn't even realize it.

That _has_ to feel satisfying as hell. I guess Shadow Weaver was wearing a tiny bit of the rune stone and that's where she got her powers. What happened to her previous magic?

The Black Garnet's new explosive power is probably pretty bad news if even the animals are running away

I guess we'll see first-hand what happens when the balance of the planet is reaaaally disrupted.

I wish they had used the horse a bit more because all his powers suddenly coming up feels a bit contrived.

Even his answers are great.

That triple scoff was just perfect.

Have to admit this got to me a little, they are such good friends.

Hey, first full transformation sequence in a while. If they wanted to make it more impactful by not using it... it worked!

With the end of the world? _how_

---

Wow, that was a lore dump.

Poor Adora, jumping from an emotionally manipulative mother figure with illusion powers to another emotionally manipulative mother-ish figure with mental powers that allow her to use Adora's own memories against her.

Why was Shadow Weaver so attached to Adora? Did she know she had a destiny or was it something else? If it was something else, that'd make her the only adult in Adora's life to care about _her_ instead of She-Ra, which is pretty tragic. And if she knew about Adora's destiny, that'd mean that every adult in her life has wanted to use her, which is even more tragic.

In any case, I doubt this is the last time Adora will have to deal with what becoming She-Ra means for her and the world, Bow and Glimmer's rescue is just a temporal reprieve.

Some thoughts about the mountain of new info:

* Mara straight up took an entire planet and dumped it into another dimension. How powerful can She-Ra be? Why did she do it? Was it because she was genuinely losing her mind or was it to protect the universe from whatever Etheria is or the First Ones? Of course, Light Hope would interpret it in a negative way if it was the latter.

* The dimension switch explains Razz's line about the stars not being there anymore. How old is she? What _is_ she?

* Also, WHAT IS ADORA? What makes her so special to be chosen after a thousand years of no She-ras?

* This episode confirms that the Princesses use a different power source than the sorcerers at Mystacor. What do they use? Ambient magic?

* Does Entrapta have a Rune Stone? If she doesn't it'd explain why she doesn't seem to have magical powers besides her hair and why she hasn't needed to recharge. I couldn't find her in the holographic circle of princesses but there was an empty spot between Glimmer and the green princess at the top. Maybe that was her spot before losing her Rune Stone? It could be related to whatever happened to her parents.

* I wish Swift Wind had been used a bit more during the season. While he was funny and I'm glad he could play therapist with Adora, his multiple powers felt a bit too convenient.

I think that's all for now, can't wait for the season finale! Until next time!

#shera #shera liveblog #shera s01e12 #spop

[healthguideinfo83-blog]

6 Ways to Take Care of the Body

I have never been particularly good at taking care of myself. I am very good at making certain my kids eat healthful foods and do not have a lot of sugar, but my own diet is atrocious. I eat considerable quantities of sugar every day in the kind of Slurpees or pop, chocolate and candy. I eat as a teenager and it's catching up to me. I used to get very little exercise, but that is something that has already begun to improve. I take my children to appointments each week, but have not been to a dentist for myself in 7 years or a doctor in over a year. I might think that in doing so, I'm being a good mom, but in reality, the example I am setting for my children of how to look after themselves isn't a wholesome one.

Sleep

Doctors recommend that an adult get an average of 7-8 hours of sleep each evening. Though sleep needs are individual and some people do want more rest than others, the consequences of chronic sleep deprivation are far-reaching.

Hydration

Are you dehydrated? Even mild dehydration can affect your energy level and your mood. Many doctors still recommend that adults drink eight 8oz. Glasses of water every day, but that amount may have to be lower or higher depending on additional factors such as your level of physical activity along with your size. New research suggests carrying your weight, dividing it in two and drinking that amount in ounces each day.

Nutrition

Nutrition is a complicated thing nowadays with food allergies and food intolerances in abundance. What is healthy for your body may not be healthful for somebody else but there are particular commonalities that I believe most people could agree on. Decrease sugar. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Eat a variety of foods. Maintain decent portion control standards for your own body concerning your height and energy amount.

Exercise

Many people consider exercise as just being for weight loss but it does far more than that. It helps combat disease such as hypertension, depression, specific types of cancer, stroke, cardiovascular disease, and type 2 diabetes. It boost certain brain chemicals which leaves you feeling happier and more relaxed than before (that is a very great thing!) . Exercise boosts your energy, improves your sexual life and helps you get a better sleep.

Dental Health

When was the last time you have your teeth cleaned or went to get a dental checkup? It's been over 7 years for me although I take my children regularly for dental appointments. Did you know that poor dental health and gum disease have been linked to heart disease and reduced life expectancy? That is a fairly good reason to take it seriously. You're likely (hopefully) already brushing your teeth a couple of times every day that's a beginning.

Mental Health

Our emotional health is just as important as our physical one. No matter how stressful your life is, there are measures that you can take to decrease your body's stress response and to be doing good care. Take a stroll, have a visit with a friend, have a candlelit bubble bath with Epsom salts, read a fantastic book, go for a massage, pray, write in a journal, and/or see a counsellor. I touched on this point already in the dental hygiene section, but I would like you now to think about other appointments that you may have put off making yourself. Do you have to see a physician for heart palpitations when lying down a specialist for something which is worrying you? Do you have to see a nutritionalist, physiotherapist, naturopath, therapist, or massage therapist?

#Health Guide

[libertasrpg]

We welcome Blair Fairfield to the city. She’s 26 years old and is an Elementary School Teacher. Blue is often mistaken for Sasha Pieterse. She’s open.

→ Background Information

Blair has no one else to thank for her wholesome upbringing than her own parents and doting grandparents. She’ll always be the first to acknowledge how lucky she’s been to have her family and isn’t one to go around showing that luck off. Humble is how Blair has always been about nearly everything in her life. Her mother has been a nurse Blair’s whole life and her father a history teacher and baseball coach. Being raised by parents in the public service field has had both perks and drawbacks. Her mother occasionally has to miss holidays due to her work schedule but even at 26 years old, Blair helps her family work around it and do their best to spend ample time together. Holidays, birthdays, and special occasions have always been of high importance to Blair, including celebrating with friends. If there’s a party, Blair is there to make sure everything runs smoothly and everyone has the best time possible.

→ Relocation Explanation

Ever since meeting in school Blair has felt a need to be there for Pinocchio and support him and since university that has included living together and making sure they’re there for events and special occasions for each other. When Pin made the decision to move to Libertas in hopes of building his own little theatre community, Blair figured it might be a good time to follow suit, continuing to live with her best friend, and finding a new group of littles, as she calls her students, to teach and love.

→ Living Situation

When it comes to roommates, Blair hasn’t always been so fortunate but since meeting Pin back in school she’s felt as though she’s hit the jackpot. He’s tidy, fun, honest, and has quite the taste for home decor. It was really the perfect storm when the Libertas move was confirmed and the two decided they’d make the move together. Honestly Blair isn’t sure she’d be able to live with anyone else.

→ Her Personality

If there were pictures next to definitions or descriptions, especially of different kinds of people, Blair’s picture would be right next to “the mom friend.” Blair was always there for her friends whether it was simply answering a phone call just to chat, meeting them for lunch or coffee, taking them to the airport, giving them a place to stay or a ride somewhere - you name it, Blair is there. She’s kindhearted but also isn’t afraid to tell someone what they need to hear. She’s not really one to sugar coat something but at the same time she isn’t unkind about it. She’ll do her best to assess a person and see how they need to be spoken to. The last thing she wants to do is hurt someone. It’s not unheard of for Blair to make a rash decision every now and then but she does her best to think things through before acting. Problem solving is one of her favorite things and it’s a combination of all of these traits which makes her an excellent teacher for the little kids.

→ Her Qualities

Thoughtful, Selfless, Loving, Imaginative

Compulsive, Over-Critical, Envious

→ Her Relationships

Pinocchio Caruso (Best Friend & Roommate): Blair has always been a very grounded person which has made her an excellent partner for Pinocchio, someone who will do anything on a whim. Ever since the pair met when they were in school, Blair has loved living vicariously through Pin. Of course Blair can be the life of the party herself but she’s always put her friends before herself, ensuring that they are doing well living their best life.  

Jiminy Croquet (Close Friend): Blair has always been fond of Jiminy, admiring his dedication to their friend Pin and his talent in his craft in film making, even if he’s just getting started. Though Blair will always pride herself in her teaching she’ll also acknowledge that she’s got a knack for sewing and will sometimes sit down with Jiminy to alter clothes for a shoot or help repair something. When all three are together, Jim, Pin, and Blair, they’re thick as thieves.

→ Possible Connections

John Worthington & Gideon Godfrey (Acquaintances): Blair met Gideon when he was doing his best to be friends with Pin while the group was in college and honestly she had never been a fan of him. Pin was always the optimist though and for a bit did his best to try to convince Blair that she was overthinking him but once everything with the fake job posting transpired he would go on about how right she was. Blair never met John but she knows all about what he did and could say the same for him. She hopes to never see the pair again.

Fawn Hawk (Friend): Blair met Fawn under unlikely circumstances, but she couldn’t be more thankful for her now, both for the work she has done and her friendship. After an unfortunate situation, Blair’s dog ended up with a broken leg but after all was well and cleared by her vet, she recommended Blair take her dog to Fawn as she was a new therapist for animals in town and could help improve her dog’s mobility of her leg. Fawn worked wonders with Bella and Blair made sure that wasn’t the extent of their encounters. She loves grabbing a coffee with her friend every now and then.

Vidia Anluan (Fitness Coach): Blair doesn’t know Vidia so much on a super personal level but she does know her as her coach, someone who encourages her to keep herself going at the gym and beyond. Though she sometimes curses her under her breath when she’s mid workout (understandably so) she’s thankful for her guidance.

→ Faceclaim Change:

Allowed | Not allowed | POC must | Discuss with admin

Suggestions: TBA

Blair is based on The Blue Fairy from Pinocchio.

#sasha pieterse #the blue fairy #pinocchio #disney rp #disney rpg #libertas school #female #26 to 30 #open #open female

[hallmark-movie-fanatics]

Jonathan Chase: Hallmark's "How to Train Your Husband" is a Departure

Author Steve Gidlow 

How to Train Your Husband is telecast Saturday, May 16, 9 p.m. on Hallmark Channel. Charismatic actor Jonathan Chase returns to Hallmark Channel this weekend, starring opposite Julie Gonzalo (both pictured at top) in the premiere of How to Train Your Husband. For Chase, the chance to do something dramatic, after working on the Tyler Perry/Oprah Winfrey comedy Love Thy Neighbor for the past few years, was nice. "I was a little nervous about doing a drama and I had to trust our creators and the director," he revealed during an exclusive interview with MediaVillage. "I've done a bunch of stuff for Hallmark in the past, Always and Forever, Strawberry Summer, and was busy with Tyler Perry for a while, so it was a nice surprise to find Hallmark had scheduled [the movie] now. I thought the movie was cute and really sweet. I'm so grateful to be on Hallmark Channel as I love that it's wholesome, always positive, and always tries to uplift. I love that message, and for me, it goes in line with working with Tyler and Oprah for five years, people that are just trying to better others.

"Julie and I had the best time making this," he continued. "And Andre Hall who plays my best friend Aaron, is my best friend. After working together with Tyler Perry for five years in Atlanta he's like my brother. He was actually living with my wife and me in self-quarantine until he could be with his girlfriend. He's family, and we both got cast in [this] film! So we had a great time filming it in Boston."

In the film, which is a pleasant departure for Hallmark Channel, Chase portrays adventure expedition specialist Justin James, whose marriage to Jillian (Gonzalo), a successful author and marriage therapist, is less than harmonious. As their respective careers have flourished, the spark that ignited their relationship has dimmed, and while Jillian is adept at dishing marriage advice, she's not so good at receiving it. It's while trying to figure out the secrets to a successful marriage for her new book, she comes to the realization of just how much she's taken her beau for granted, and to save her marriage, needs to make amends.

The fact viewers get to delve into the world of an existing relationship, rather than seeing a new one form, appealed to Chase. "Hallmark Channel is branching out and [that's] pretty cool," he shared. "I loved that this movie picks up in the middle of a relationship because marriage is complicated. It's portrayed early in the film that Julie's character Jillian is trying to figure out what's going on in their relationship and why the spark is missing. Those things tend to come up on their own and are a two-way street.

"Julie's character is constantly on deadline," he added. "He's running a business and she's running two, so they've moved in different directions. While people can drift apart, I think this movie shows they can also drift together and that's the take-away from it. If they'd sat still for a moment, they may have seen they had everything they needed. It's a little like now, with the whole world on pause. You have to think, how do I want to step out of this COVID-19 situation? Better? Stronger? That's kind of what Jillian and Justin are doing in this movie, trying to control a situation, and in this case, it's their marriage."

Concerning the film's title, Chase tells me, "I believe you can train anyone." And when it comes to him? "Am I trained, oh yeah," he laughed. "There are treats involved, but I'll do anything my wife asks me like I'm the cook in the house and I'll prepare anything she wants!

"But she's kind of trained too," he continued laughing. "Living with someone, getting to know them, it's all an adjustment. I remember when we first met on a dating website, and one that isn't run by humans. It's all done by computer algorithms. After our engagement, then marriage, I wrote to them telling our story, just to let people know that you can meet someone that way and I got a response that said, "Cool." It was a computer-automated response!"

With the pending birth of his first child, "A boy due any day now (at the time of writing)," Chase and his dietician wife Sarah are self-quarantining. He's trying to make the best of the situation and find a silver lining amidst the pandemic telling me, "My mom lost a family member due to COVID-19, but I'm trying to see the positive. We had a Zoom call and I got to meet two cousins I wouldn't have if that hadn't happened. The one good thing to come from our current situation is we have been forced to hit pause, sit still, and you're allowed to."

He's also looking forward to, hopefully, being back at work soon. "My character 'Brian 'The Fender' Bender from the Nickelodeon series Henry Danger appeared in the pilot of the spin-off Danger Force," he shared in closing. "I'm hoping there are more as I really want to do a kid's show. I want to play a dad as that's the space I am in, and I want to spend time with my son when he's here!" 

LINK to full article at mediavillage.com HERE

#interviews #jonathan chase #link #how to train your husband #hallmark channel #acquisition