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#a part of me wants to talk to my advisor and see if i can move my potential spring term classes
chitaquagirl · 4 months
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pros n cons
pros of dc: NEW PLACE!!!! NEW EXPERIENCES!!!! RLY subsidized housing. will be in a very tight group of student teachers so lots of support. close to my bro and sis in law. only for a semester. one of my besties will be in nyc that semester too so we will be close ish to each other. very cool opportunity !!
cons: living with NINE mormon girls. sharing a bedroom w at least one but probs two ppl. will not be able to drink or get high as frequently (which is probably a pro if i am being real but yk). RLY rly far away from my family n close friends. far away from the mountains :( no hiking :( ALSO. do i rly want to be in washington dc during the fall of an election year. esp THIS election year.
i’m moving either way but yeah much to think abt !!!!!!!
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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#theres this feeling i get sometimes. i find it very hard to articulate. its part despair and part awe. dispair at how beautiful the world is#all those intricate little process coming together to organize the chaos. i dont kno y i feel it so deeply or y it hurts so much#because its just. no matters what horrible things r going on in the world. ur body is this miraculous collection of chemicals and reactions#mobile containers of water with a history that spirals back billions of years. and you can hear and see and experience and reflect#and when you die the world goes on spinning without you. if we as humans destroyed this planet past the part of our ability to inhabit it#it wouldnt even matter. there would be continued life past humanity. cosmically we r tiny and insignificant and we dont matter#but were beautiful and wonderful and infinity complex and knowing that leaves me in agony. because i want to kno everything right now but#mind is too small and i walk around with the disorientation of someone whos just been hit in thr face ans i cant focus enough to read#cant make the words make sense and i cant justify the time it would take to try. so i sit on my deck. in the sun. crying as i think about#how the light hit the grass in my front yard the last time i was home. how the cliffs in the backyard are ringed with red lines of iron#separated out as the water leached through the sandstone. how every avaliable surface is stained green as organisms reach upward toward#the sun. and its beautiful and i dont kno y im crying. maybe its bc i cant just throw everything aside and chase that feeling. im not#allowed to feel it. im not allowed to talk abt it in the way i want. bc im afraid no one cares as much as me in the same way. bc when i#talk abt what i study its obscure and academic and so far from what most ppl think abt that they get intimidated and dont try to understand#so i just try not to talk abt it. or maybe im just afraid. bc i have my 1st TA meeting tomorrow and i meet with my new advisor friday#and im worried and im afraid i wont b able to do this in a way that doesnt make me feel like im dying. bc i like to b busy and i like having#a strict schedule but if u throw me that knife im going to stab myself with it bc i dont kno how wield it as a tool without hurting myself#sure ill get the job done. but at what cost? whatever. ill try to b better this time. try to hold tight to the wonder. but that feels like#reaching out into forever. knowing ill never make contact. not knowing what im reaching for.#the closest approximation to the feeling i can find is that scene in the terror. where go0dsir is asking if god is there. any god. and it#doesnt matter bc he can see god in the landscape. in an environment that's so harsh and barren that its killing him slowly in the worst of#ways and its beautiful. its still beautiful to him. there is wonder here. and im wasting my time laying in a dark room crying bc i put#myself into a container so constrictive that the surface snaps and i come spilling out as an angry liquid. smearing away into nothing#unrelated
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aaaaaand now I can't sleep bc of anxiety about my future and whether or not I'll even graduate next month 🙃
#Words#Personal#My grade in my bio class went way the fuck down after the test we took recently#I'm definitely gonna talk to my professor and advisor about it and see what kind of help I can get#Because I REAAAALLLLLYYYYY want to fucking leave#And it's scaring the shit out of me that it might not even happen anymore#Because I quit my job to focus more on school#But I did it like the week before the test so it was shitty timing#I keep getting emails from the school about graduation and I can't even get excited for it#I don't wanna walk if I'm not even finished with my degree#Like what the fuck is the point in that#Especially after being in college as long as I have#But yeah the anxiety hit me just now and now I'm sad as fuck lol#Godddd this sucks so much like college has truly been the worst era of my life#Tbh my entire 20s have been pretty shitty#I always get super annoyed when people say you're in your prime in your 20s LIKE BITCH IM FUCKING SUFFERING SHUT UP#why do people act like adolescence and early 20s is the only worthwhile part of your life#I'm honestly aching to see what life is like post college and I hate how this class and my former job have gotten in the way of that#And it sucks because I don't know anyone else who's dealing with the same situation so I feel very alone in this#Idk man everything is just shitty right now and I just wanna move on with my life#It seems like everyone in my life is under the impression that I'm just lazy bc it's taken me forever to get through college#But in reality I've dealt with so much bullshit in the past few years#Such as being in a whole cult that revolved around toxic positivity#dragging myself through a major I hated bc I had no idea what else to do with my life#And also losing a bunch of people I was once close with#It's hard to put into words how much all of that fucked me up#But a lot of that stuff has been going on since before college#But the worst of it definitely happened during college so that's also why I wanna move on#Because I associate my time at school with all of that shit#Damn I'm VENTING in these tags lmao
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nadvs · 1 month
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watch and learn (part one)
pairing fratboy! rafe cameron x female reader
rating explicit 18+
content warning drug and alcohol use
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary it takes one conversation with your college dorm neighbor to know you won’t get along. rafe is loud, rude, and short-tempered. after he overhears you talking about a disappointing fling, he loses his confidence in his sexual abilities and suggests you start hooking up to both improve your skills in the bedroom. you can’t stand him, but it’s too good of an offer to turn down.
» masterlist
*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*
At first, you cut your neighbor some slack. Over freshman welcome week, you figured it wouldn’t be reasonable to expect him to be quiet.
But it’s Thursday of week two, well past quiet hours, and the bass of his music is nearly making your bed shake.
You assumed the guy you’ve heard but haven’t seen yet would settle down once classes were underway. So much for that.
You have a lecture early tomorrow. It’s past midnight and his music and loud conversations are still drumming through your wall.
You’d call the resident advisor, but you’d rather talk to him yourself so not to risk any bad blood that could form from you snitching on him. You sigh, get out of bed, and decide to finally face him.
Rafe takes another hit of his joint, leaning back in his desk chair while three of his frat buddies talk about the past week of rushing.
He just got accepted into his top choice frat and he’s elated. And if he proves himself, he’ll be able to move into the Sigma Chi house next semester.
He probably will never get used to living in such a small room compared to the mansion he grew up in, but at least the frat house will be an upgrade.
“Dude, I think someone’s knocking,” Blake says, slapping Rafe’s knee.
“Oh, shit,” Rafe laughs, high out of his mind. He pauses the music and ambles out of the circle he’s been sitting in.
When he opens the door to see a girl in pajamas looking up at him, her arms crossed and her lips pinched, he’s taken aback for a second. Damn, you’re pretty.
“Hi,” you say, failing to force a smile at the man towering over you. The smell of weed hits you instantly. “I live next door. I wanted to ask if you could please keep it down?”
He grimaces as his unseen friends jeer behind him. You notice the Greek lettering on his t-shirt. A frat boy. Of course.
“You’re in trouble, Rafe!” one of them taunts.
He props a big arm against his doorframe, his blue eyes trailing down your body.
“Were we being loud?” he teases, purposely playing dumb. He’s obviously wasted. And is giving off strong fuckboy vibes.
“I have an early class tomorrow,” you try to explain. “Can you at least keep the music off?”
“What, you don’t like it?”
“Listen… Rafe, right?” you say. He nods, his grin still so fucking smug. You tell him your name. “I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s fun, but-”
“That’s kind of what you’re doing,” Rafe interrupts. The way your face screws up when you’re pissed off is too cute for him to stop fucking with you.
“Don’t you have a frat house you can do this at?” you finally snap, gesturing to his t-shirt.
“You telling me I can’t be in my own room?” Rafe says, annoyance starting to prick at his skin.
“Not if you’re gonna keep people up,” you say.
“Turn around.”
“What?” you snap.
“I wanna know if I can see the stick up your ass from here,” he says.
His friends explode in laughter and he looks back with a wide smile.
“I fucking hate frat boys,” you mutter more to yourself than to him. Rafe brings a hand up to his chest in mock offence. “And you’re not allowed to smoke in your room,” you add.
“You gonna tell on me?” He cocks his head, his hair falling over his forehead.
“Yeah, actually, I might.”
A man appears behind Rafe with a charming smile.
“Okay, okay,” he drawls to you, gesturing to dap Rafe up. “We should get going anyway.”
“Nah, man, you don’t have to,” Rafe says, immediately disappointed that his fun is ending.
“It’s late,” he says. The man nods at you with a smile.
“Blake,” he introduces himself to you. “Sorry about the noise.”
“Thank you,” you say through gritted teeth, wishing Rafe had half the manners his friend does. He shuffles past you, followed by two other guys who say their goodbyes to Rafe.
“Happy?” Rafe mutters, all the playfulness from his tone now gone.
“Thrilled,” you say, turning to get back to your room.
The next afternoon, you’re on the phone with your friend, Liv, as you make your way back to your dorm room after a full day of classes.
She’s trying to convince you to come to a party at a frat house tonight. You’re exhausted after a long day, but she’s right that you need some fun.
“I can’t be out long,” you say on the phone, pushing your key into the lock. “I’m tired. And honestly, already kind of stressed out over school.”
“Maybe you’ll meet a guy who’ll take your mind off things,” Liv suggests. You snort.
“The last guy I hooked up was such a disappointment,” you tell her. You try to twist your key. It won’t budge. “I almost faked my orgasm, then was like, it’s not even worth it.”
Liv laughs.
“They should know when they suck,” she says.
You wiggle your key, your fingers starting to hurt.
“Exactly,” you say. “Plus, he wanted to try this position and… I don’t know, I felt too nervous to do it. It was just a failure all around.”
Finally, your key twists and make it into your room, clueless to the fact that Rafe heard everything.
That night, you’re at the Sigma Chi house, two drinks in, when you spot your neighbor playing beer pong across the room. Shit. You’re sure this is his frat.
You already told Liv about your encounter with Rafe, so you nudge her and point him out.
“That’s my fuckboy neighbor,” you say.
“You didn’t mention how hot he is.”
“Wait until he opens his mouth,” you tell her, earning a laugh.
Honestly, Rafe does look good. He fills out his t-shirt so well, his backwards hat pushing his hair out of his handsome face.
Rafe glances around the crowded room and catches you staring at him. Even though you irritated him the first time you spoke last night, heat fills his body once he realizes your eyes are on him.
You quickly look away.
Despite how much of a tight-ass he thinks you are, he’s glad to see you tonight. What he overheard you say on the phone a few hours ago has been weighing on his mind. And his ego.
He finishes up his game of beer pong and the alcohol rushing through his system convinces him to find you and ask you what he’s been mulling over.
“Are you lost?” a voice says behind you.
You turn to look up at Rafe, who’s ducking down so you can hear him over the music. You glance back at Liv, who raises her eyebrows and turns away to give you privacy.
“Or do you actually know how to have fun?” he asks. You sigh as you glance back at him.
“I do, without the expense of people’s sleep,” you reply, a sarcastic smile on your face. “Crazy concept, right?”
“I figured it out,” he says. “Why you’re such a tight-ass.”
“I am not a tight-ass,” you reply.
“It’s ‘cause you can’t get off. I heard you,” he says. He sees embarrassment wash over your face. You know exactly what he’s referring to. “And I’m the loud one?”
You look away, regretting that you didn’t stop to think your voice would float into his dorm room. Fuck.
“Does that actually happen?” Rafe asks. “Girls fake orgasms?”
Your eyes dart up to meet his and you scoff a chuckle.
“Yes,” you say. “What, you didn’t know that?”
Rafe shakes his head. Admittedly, he’s been wondering if any girls faked cumming with him since he overheard you. It’s kind of a blow to his ego.
“Ouch,” you laugh, regaining your confidence. “Let me guess. You thought you had a perfect track record.”
“How can you tell that a girl’s faking it?”
You take a sip of your beer and he can’t help but notice the enticing way your lips look glossed with moisture.
“Every girl’s different,” you say. “But for the most part, you can… feel it. You know… down there.”
You’re glad you’re drunk for this conversation. You doubt you could have it sober.
“How?” he asks, genuinely curious.
“I’m not helping you with this,” you say. “Especially after you were such a dick to me.”
Rafe smirks, looking down. You notice he has really cute dimples. Shit. The fuckboy is charming you.
“Let’s start over,” he suggests. “I have an idea.”
“You can have those?” you ask.
“I heard you say you were nervous trying a new position,” Rafe says, ignoring your chide. You look down in unease again.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” he says. You look at him again, speechless over how forward he is. “We can help each other. You show me how to make a girl cum and how to know I actually did it. And I’ll let you practice whatever you want with me until you feel confident.”
You freeze for a second. Is he seriously suggesting you two fuck… to get better at fucking?
“Oh, you’ll let me?” you say, his proposal admittedly making your stomach numb with anticipation. “You’re insane.”
“Maybe,” Rafe says with a shrug. You realize he’s being totally and unabashedly serious. “What? Do you need time to think about it?”
You take another sip of your drink, the cold beer spilling down your throat.
He is insane. But he’s also attractive. Charming. Confident. Would it be so crazy to start hooking up with him?
You’d have the guarantee of an orgasm, without wondering if the guy you’re with cares enough about getting you there, and you’d get practice so you don’t feel as insecure next time you’re with a guy you actually like.
“I’m in, only if you promise to actually respect quiet hours from now on,” you finally say.
“Great sex isn’t a good enough deal?”
“Who’s to say it’ll be great?”
“So, I have to tiptoe around my own room,” he says, his temper flaring.
“If you consider not blasting music at night tiptoeing, then yeah,” you retort.
If Rafe wasn’t sure of it before, he is now: you’re hot when you’re pissed off.
“Fine,” he relents. He’ll probably be moving out next semester anyway. He fishes his phone out of his pocket and opens a new conversation. “Text yourself so I have your number.“
You hand him your cup in exchange for his phone. You send an eggplant emoji to your number. He takes a sip of your drink and you scowl.
“Are you that selfish in bed, too?” you say.
“You can let me know,” he quips. You roll your eyes at him and take your drink, giving him his phone back. Rafe chuckles when he sees the emoji you sent yourself.
“I will,” you promise. “I’ll call you out on everything you do wrong. If you can take it.”
“Okay,” he says. “Tonight?”
Wow. He’s eager. It’s kind of thrilling that he wants you this badly.
“Maybe,” you say. “If I’m not too tired when I get home, I’ll text you.”
Rafe’s chest tightens with excitement. His hot, mouthy neighbor is actually doing this with him.
“Sure.” Rafe juts out his bottom lip, nodding, as if this conversation is completely normal. He’s so casual about it. This feels unreal.
You give him a small smile. Probably the first genuine one you’ve offered him. Okay. You can admit to yourself that you’re looking forward to hooking up with him.
You stay at the frat house for another hour, hanging out with Liv and a few other friends you made, before you make it to your dorm just before midnight.
After changing into pajamas, and the nicest set of bra and panties that you own, you text Rafe: i’m home if you want to come over.
About ten minutes later, you hear a knock at your door. You open it to see Rafe standing with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his gray sweatpants.
You’re sure he knows how good he looks when you notice the outline of his length. He did this on purpose.
“Eager,” you say. “Were you already home?”
“I was quiet, huh?” he boasts, stepping into your room. He takes a second to soak in your space, eyes travelling over the way you’ve decorated.
“What the fuck? Your room’s bigger than mine,” he says.
“They’re all the same size.” You settle on your bed, glad he’s so comfortable about this, not making it awkward at all. Truthfully, the beer has worn off, and you’re kind of freaked out.
But this is what you’re doing this for. So you can stop being so nervous about sex.
“I’ll show you my room and you’ll see for yourself,” Rafe says. You watch him pace across your space to study the photos on your wall.
His eyes travel over the snapshots of you with your family and friends, your smile bright and pretty in every image.
With Rafe’s back turned to you, you take in the way his broad shoulders stretch out his white t-shirt. By the slight curve in his back, you can tell he’s not just lean, but muscular, too.
“How long are you expecting this… arrangement to go on for?” you ask.
“Until we’re both satisfied,” he says confidently, turning to meet your eyes.
“So, you’re aware you won’t be coming out of this with a girlfriend, right?” you assert.
While Rafe is attractive and charming, he’s also rude and narcissistic. You don’t want him to think you’re interested in him in that way. This isn’t a romance.
“Oh, yeah,” he huffs. “I’m not gonna be in college tied down to one chick.”
You scoff. Yup. Definitely no romance here.
“Maybe don’t call a girl a chick,” you say. “At least not to her face.”
“Right,” Rafe says with an easy laugh. He slowly steps towards you, his eyelids heavy as he looks down at you. “You have nice tits.”
You feel your skin burn, looking down at your chest in your tank-top. Rafe hardens the longer he looks at you.
“How sweet,” you say flatly.
Rafe smirks and sits down next to you, getting right to business as he pulls you in for a kiss. His lips are warm and surprisingly soft. He tastes like cinnamon toothpaste and smells like aftershave.
He’s a good kisser. But you expected as much. By his confidence and the fact that he prepositioned you the way he did, you can tell he’s experienced with girls.
You feel his hand slide up your body and squeeze your breast. You sit back, disjointing your lips.
“Slow down,” you tell him. “Do you always go right into groping a girl like this?”
“Yeah?” His brows furrow.
“Okay, some might like it,” you say. “But most want foreplay. You have to give me some time to get turned on.”
“Aren’t you already?” he asks. “We’re kissing.”
“We’ve been at it for like, a second, Rafe. Just because you’re…” You look down at the tent in his sweatpants. “Ready, it doesn’t mean I am.”
“So, what should I do?” he asks.
“Just… don’t rush,” you say.
Rafe nods and leans into kiss you again, his hand cupping your waist this time. He doesn’t usually like kissing that much, typically wanting to jump right into sex, but the way your tongue runs over his is actually sort of nice.
A few moments later, his fingers dip to pull your top off. When Rafe sees you in your bra, he swallows hard. Why does he feel like this is his first time seeing a half-naked woman?
Probably because he’s being graded, he realizes.
“Wow,” he breathes. You look down, scratching your neck. “Damn, you do get nervous.”
“What?” you say.
“When a guy says wow, take the compliment,” he states.
You shyly shake your head and pull him in for another kiss to brush past the moment. He catches on, pushing you back.
“I’m teaching you shit, too, remember?” he mutters. “Don’t be shy. You’re hot.”
“Alright,” you groan, tugging at his shirt. “Take this off.”
He smirks and obeys, hoping he at least partly got through to you.
When your eyes roam Rafe’s bare torso, your heart pounds harder.
You continue making out, and he eventually slowly unhooks your bra. He peels it off and slowly cups your breast, fondling and gently squeezing.
“Is this too hard?” he asks.
“No, it’s - it’s good,” you sigh. You remind yourself this is supposed to be instructional. “You should… um…”
“What?” he asks against your lips. “Stop being shy.”
“Play with my nipples,” you say, cheeks burning. “Some girls like that.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.” He looks down at your chest and softly pinches you, then rubs his thumb back and forth. “Good.”
Rafe is entirely hard now, your praise making him ache to be inside you. But he’s here to learn. He needs to go slower.
He dips to put his mouth on your chest, his lips locking around your nipple. You let out a shaky moan and he knows he’s doing something right.
Big hands gently press against your hips to push you onto your back. You settle on your firm bed, hands roaming over his smooth back.
He shifts to give your other breast the same amount of attention, coating your nipple in his warm spit. You bite your lip, feeling your stomach tighten in arousal.
“Can I go down on you?” he rasps.
You meet his eyes. Rafe realizes just how pleased you look already. It’s really gratifying.
“Yeah,” you whisper. He eagerly pulls down your bottoms and panties in one move, losing his breath when his eyes take you in.
“Goddamn.” His voice is strained. You’re already glistening and he wants to put his mouth on you immediately.
“Go slow there, too,” you say. “Kiss my thighs first.”
“Okay,” he says, nodding urgently. It’s satisfying seeing him listen to you like this, considering he doesn’t seem to care for rules.
Your thighs are so damn soft against his mouth. He peppers kisses up your skin. It’s taking all his willpower not to start eating you out right now.
Your breaths are shallow as he leaves languid, tender kisses on you. You feel his fingers stretch your lips apart and hear him sharply inhale.
“Now?” he asks impatiently.
“Yeah. Lick everywhere,” you say, “but pay the most attention to my clit. You know where it is, right?”
“I’m not that fucking helpless,” he mutters. You can’t help but laugh.
He lowers his mouth onto you and you tremble immediately. He laps at you for a few seconds, a groan escaping his lips.
“Fuck,” he whispers. “You taste really fucking good.”
“Do you always talk like that?” you ask.
“Yeah, is it okay?” Rafe says, suddenly tense.
“It’s amazing,” you admit. “Keep doing it.”
“Yeah?” he says with a smile. He points his tongue over your clit, wriggling it over your flesh.
“That’s good,” you tell him. “Make your tongue flat, too. Switch between the two.”
You feel him nod against you, avidly taking every tip.
“And suck a little,” you tell him. Rafe didn’t think he’d like being bossed around, but the way you’re telling him what feels good and making him better at eating pussy is rewarding.
He starts to suck at your clit and the way you moan tells him everything he needs to know. He sucks harder and your breath gets shaky.
Rafe is desperate to see how the inside of you feels, even if it’s just with his fingers. He shifts to slowly dip a finger in your cunt and glances up to look at you.
“Can I finger you?” he says.
“Yes,” you nod. “It’s good to ask. Start with one.”
He slowly sinks into you, stopping at his knuckle. You’re so tight.
“Shit, baby,” Rafe whispers. “I know you’re gonna squeeze my cock so good.”
Your head is spinning. You’ve never had a man talk to you like this before. This is what you’ve been missing out on, hooking up with guys who didn’t care about your pleasure? It feels unfair.
He adds a finger, curling into you and feeling you clench around him as he continues to work your clit. You look down to enjoy the sight of his head between your legs, the tips of soft dirty blonde hair tickling your skin.
It’s intoxicating, being taken care of the way you want to be.
Rafe’s jaw starts to get sore, but your noises give him the drive to keep going. Eventually, your thighs press against your ears.
“I’m gonna cum,” you mumble. “Don’t stop.” Rafe’s stomach twists with excitement, fully alert and eager to take mental notes.
Your breath stops, your muscles tense, and your walls flutter around him as you meet your peak. Sparks of pleasure fire throughout your body and you tug at the roots of his hair.
He keeps sucking and licking and pumping his fingers until you shuffle beneath him, overstimulated.
“Okay,” you sigh. “Good, that’s good.”
Rafe sits up, his lips wet with your arousal. You look happy, yet somehow kind of guilty. He makes a mental note to figure out how to make you unashamed for having a sex drive.
The way you’re panting is making him so fucking turned on that it hurts.
“I need to fuck you,” he says.
“Yeah,” you say breathlessly, hoping he’d say that. “Do you have something?”
He nods, pulling a condom wrapper out of his pocket. He takes his pants and boxers off at the same time and he springs out.
You never thought you’d think a cock could be perfect, but there’s no other way to describe it.
He leans over you, looking down as he lines himself up and slowly sinks into you. You watch him shut his eyes with pleasure, but when he opens them again, you look down at his body.
“So shy,” Rafe teases, his voice thick. “Make eye contact.”
You listen to him, meeting his eyes. It adds an entirely new level of pleasure and vulnerability, looking at each other while he starts to rock in and out of you.
He starts to thrust faster, revelling in the way your tits are bouncing with his force. His strokes are deep and powerful and you whimper over how nice it feels.
His balls feel tight already. He never cums this fast. There’s something about you that’s making his body react like this. But knowing you already orgasmed, he doesn’t let himself overthink it.
“Feels good?” Rafe asks with amusement in his tone. You moan in response. At least he doesn’t need to improve on this part.
He goes harder, losing his rhythm as he reaches his climax, trembling over you. The way he breathes through it is so unbelievably hot to you.
Once Rafe slows down, he collapses on top of you, his chest pressed against yours.
“How was that?” he mumbles.
“I don’t think your ego needs to get any bigger,” you say breathlessly. “But that was good.”
“Just good?”
You laugh. Okay, it was fucking mind-blowing. He doesn’t need to know that, though.
“Yup,” you say, patting his shoulder. “Let me up.”
“What - what could I have done better?” he asks, sitting up off of you, pulling out. “I listened to everything you said. I swear, I never cum that fast.”
You smirk. He’s desperate for the praise.
“Fine,” you say. “It was amazing, okay? Don’t let it get to your head, frat boy.”
It definitely gets to his head. You can tell by the way he’s smiling.
“What position did that guy want you to try? Wanna do it?” he asks. You shake your head in disbelief. He could probably go all night.
“Next time,” you say, exhausted, your muscles weak.
Rafe’s disappointed, but he doesn’t show it.
“Okay,” he agrees. “Next time.”
part two
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sabertoothwalrus · 25 days
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I’ve seen you post some labru stuff and I’m curious what your thoughts on it are. personally I don’t see it? I can buy Kabru having feelings for Laios, but I think Laios wouldn’t be interested in Kabru, so it makes me wonder why so many people ship them. (Tbh I feel like Kabru has more chemistry with Mithrun anyway)
Sorry if this ask sounds rude, I just genuinely don’t understand the appeal of the ship, but I want to understand and I trust your analysis of characters very much :] maybe there’s something I’m missing
I really like both ships, actually!
For labru, there’s sooooo much I could talk about. The inherent homoeroticism of being narrative foils. The inherent homoeroticism of being the king’s advisor. All of chapter 76. The fact that Kabru has mask upon mask upon mask, and Laios is the first person that made his facade absolutely crumble.
Kabru struggles with being genuine!!! Everything he says and does is so perfectly calculated, even when he sort of means it. But since Laios doesn’t get social cues, Kabru gets thrown for a loop.
I get so frustrated when people act like Kabru still hates Laios by the end of the manga!!!!! He killed those corpse retrievers for being corrupt, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to kill Laios. He has such a strong sense of justice, and knew that killing Laios would be a mistake. Because, after meeting him, he could tell he wasn’t actually evil. He’s strange, sure, but not evil.
Kabru DEFINITELY wants to be friends with Laios!! He was not lying about this!!!
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But this last comic shows how much Laios wants to be friends with Kabru, too. He’s so nervous after calling Kabru his friend 😭 he doesn’t want to be presumptuous and fuck it up again.
Laios does show an interest in Kabru, at least when Laios thinks he’s interested in eating monsters too. Like,, what was up with THIS
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Laios’s gaze is LINGERING. Plus, (this is before that bit at Thistle’s house when he forgets his name) he brings up Kabru when they first form their plan to eat Falin.
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And maybe this is just because of my own personal experiences, but Laios reminds me a lot of my own girlfriend. I think they have a similar flavor of gay/aspec & autism combo where, had I not asked her out first, she probably never would have considered being interested in me. But she was very down when I did.
The tricky part about labru is more the political aspect. Regardless of whether you see Laios as aroace or not, he’s in a situation where he will probably get married. He had a fiancée before he was age 13, likely betrothed since he was a baby. He’s already comfortable with the idea of getting married because He’s Supposed To.
However, Laios is king, and could make gay marriage legal if he wanted to (He would probably do this for his sister and Marcille before considering it for himself ). But at the same time, I think Kabru would object to Laios making whatever policies he wants without considering the repercussions of how other kingdoms might react, especially when they’re just getting Melini off the ground and need lots of support from other countries. Laios and Kabru getting gay married anyway and dealing with the aftermath could make for a really compelling story.
I do think Kabru would be a good ruler. He’s already fit for it. He speaks a dozen languages, he knows people and their motivations, and likes politics. The manga already joked about Chilchuck’s daughters trying to marry a king, so it seems like noble blood isn’t too important, but Kabru’s foster family IS nobility. When it comes to heirs, I do like trans Kabru headcanons, but at the same time, I think it’d be cute if they adopt anyway. Kabru seems like he’d have strong feelings about adoption given,,, yknow.
The alternative version of labru to this is Laios gets straight married out of obligation, and Kabru is his mistress hdhdhshsj. I don’t know if I could see Laios doing that? or if Kabru would risk the scandal of being outed as Royal Advisor and Regent trying to seduce the king. It could go SO downhill. but maybe that would be fun.
NOW FOR KABUMISU.
I knew people shipped them, and I could see the basis for it while reading, but I wasn’t really sold on it until the very end. There’s something about “I had no desires left. I decided to create new desires, and one of them is you” that’s really charming.
There’s also something funny about “the demon ate my heterosexuality so I’m gay now”
I think it’s interesting that Kabru hates elves. He was raised by them, and he hates them. He hates feeling patronized by them. He made absolutely sure that elves wouldn’t take control over Melini, not just for his sake, but for Rin’s.
But Mithrun’s interactions with Kabru are founded on more mutual respect. Though, that’s not to say that Mithrun doesn’t still have his biases towards short lived races..
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Where Laios doesn’t understand social cues, Mithrun does but just doesn’t care. For that reason, I think Kabru would enjoy spending time with Mithrun. It’d give him a break from his compulsion to calculate all of his social interactions. But at the same time, Kabru is the KING at bottling his emotions. Mithrun is blunt, but also doesn’t care enough to pry. If Kabru had anything bothering him, I could imagine him seeking Mithrun’s company to avoid thinking about it. Could make for a fun dynamic.
I do think it’s funny that Milsiril 1) took care of Mithrun for potentially 20 years and 2) is only four years older than him. I imagine this could lead to funny situations.
I don’t ship things for no reason! I think both of these could work platonically, romantically, one-sided, or even “requited but they don’t do anything about it.” Their relationships compel me and I think it’s sort of bad faith to brush off either like they’re nothing more than baseless yaoi pair-the-spares. To me, I see just as much of a foundation in the source material as farcille.
After all, dungeon meshi isn’t a story about romance, but it IS a story about love. It’s a story about life and death and grief and the love that comes with it. Regardless of shipping, these characters love each other!!! And I love talking about it!!
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parkerslatte · 2 months
Text
Overlooked | Part Five
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Eris Vanserra x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 5.3k
Warnings: none
Summary: The day has arrived for Y/N and Eris to get married and she gets nervous that her sisters won’t show up.
A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Epilogue
•••
The day began with Y/N waking up early, not from excitement but from nervousness. She had reluctantly left the warmth of Eris’s arms and sat in front of her dresser. It was her wedding day, Y/N knew that she should be over the moon but the overwhelming feeling of dread threatened to take over. 
When Y/N pictured her wedding when she was younger, she always imagined her three younger sisters walking down the aisle before her before she stepped out in her magnificent dress prepared to greet her soon to be husband. Now she was not even sure her sisters would show up for her wedding. 
“What are you doing over here?” Eris’s sleepy voice interrupted her thoughts. “We still have a few hours in bed before we need to wake.”
“You can go back to bed,” Y/N said. “I can’t really sleep.”
“You aren’t having second thoughts, are you?” Eris asked, his tone teasing but once he caught a glimpse of Y/N’s saddened expression, his smile dropped. “Do you still want to marry me?”
“Of course I do!” Y/N exclaimed. “I just…it’s just hard. Not knowing if my sisters are going to show up.” Eris perched himself on the stool next to Y/N, his arm wrapping around her waist to keep the both of them on it. “I am marrying the love of my life, I should be happy but if I walk down that aisle and see that they aren’t there, I will feel…betrayed, if that is even the right word for it. I know that we were not the closest but they are still my sisters. We should always stand by one another.”
Eris pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “My dear, if they don’t show up, then it's a huge reflection on them and their personalities. If they do not show up then they do not deserve your love. Because I know how much you love and I have seen how it sometimes hurts you.”
Y/N allowed her head to fall upon his shoulder. “I just really want them there, Eris.”
“From your last conversation, do you believe they will?” Eris questioned. 
“I honestly do not know,” Y/N exhaled. “My sisters seemed eager to get back to the Night Court so I can only hope that they talked to the others about the conversation we had, but I know how easily both Feyre and Nesta can be distracted by Rhys and Cassian. When they are around, it is as if I am not there.”
“What of Elain?” Eris asked.
Y/N sighed. “It’s more complicated with her. I know that she holds some attraction to Azriel but I do know that she has been in contact with Lucien these past few weeks.”
“How did you know that?” Eris asked. 
“While Lucien was here two weeks ago, a letter came for him but was accidentally delivered to me accidently. I would recognise my sister’s handwriting anywhere,” Y/N said. “To be honest, even if it is just Elain that shows up, I will be more than happy about that.”
“Even if they don’t show up, you are surrounded by people who love you,” Eris said. 
“And people who hate me,” Y/N said bitterly. “There are still people who work in this palace that cannot abide my presence, Eris.”
“And I am working on removing them–”
“And it is taking you too long!” Y/N exclaimed. “I am never allowed in any of the meetings because you won’t allow it!”
Eris stilled and Y/N regretted her words instantly. “Eris, I did not mean that at all. I am so sorry.”
“I know,” Eris said, his voice saddened. “And you don’t need to apologise because it is true. I could have gotten rid of those particular advisors months ago but I haven’t.”
“No, Eris, don’t do that,” Y/N said. “Don’t sit there and find excuses for my words. I shouldn’t have snapped at you at all, my love. I know you want to avoid an internal war within the court.”
At the term of endearment, Eris seemed to relax slightly. “You don’t need to apologise for snapping at me, Y/N. Of course I want you in those meetings, I cannot speak your ideas as eloquently as you. But I don’t wish to see the sneers and glares sent your way every single time you walk through those doors to the meeting room. Keeping you away is not something I want to do. It only reminds me of my father.”
Y/N lightly kissed his bare shoulder. “You are nothing like your father, Eris.”
“But leaving you out of court matters makes me seem like it,” Eris replied. “He never allowed my mother in any meetings either.”
“Unlike him, you allow me to have my opinions and words heard,” Y/N tried to reason with her mate.
“But through my voice, not yours,” Eris replied. 
“It doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, I know I am making a change in this court. I know I am helping those in need and pathing the way for a better life for everyone in this court.” Y/N cupped his cheek. The stubble was gone but Y/N missed it, she had grown quite attached to it. 
“The moment you become my wife, I will fire those advisors immediately,” Eris said. 
“What about the possibilities of an internal war?” Y/N asked.
“If that does happen, I have enough resources and allies that will win it for us in no time. But I cannot sit here a moment longer and take credit for the large changes happening in court when it is all you,” Eris said and pressed a kiss to her forehead. 
“Eris I can’t let you risk a war for me,” Y/N said. “I am perfectly content to wait.”
“Y/N, you must already know that I would crawl to the ends of the earth for you, a simple war is not going to stop me from having your voice heard,” Eris tenderly kissed her palm. “You must know how much I love and adore you.”
“I know, Eris,” Y/N said, her voice soft as she leaned her forehead against Eris’s. 
“Let’s go back to bed,” Eris suggested. “We still have a couple of hours before we need to wake.”
And that is exactly what the pair did. Y/N fit perfectly within Eris’s arms, her back pressed tightly against his chest. His scent surrounded her and Y/N found that every worry seemed to drift away, even if she knew it would only be for a couple of hours. With that, Y/N managed to drift off to a peaceful sleep.
***
With her hair styled and her dress on, Y/N felt like the bride she had always imagined to be. There were multiple times where she had nearly cried off the colouring around her eyes. Now as she stood behind the doors, her heart hammered in her chest. She had not seen Eris since he was whisked out of their bedroom and into his own dressing room that morning. The only communication they had since then was the waves of love sent down the bond. 
But now, Y/N could feel Eris’s nervousness and she could feel his. 
There was nothing to be nervous about and Y/N knew that. She was marrying the love of her and life and having her dream wedding. Nothing would ever rival this day, perhaps possibly their mating ceremony, but even that hadn’t been as grand of a scale as this. 
“Are you ready, High Lady?” One of the maids asked, a bright smile on her face. 
Y/N let out a long breath. “I am.”
The maid smiled and straightened out her veil. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” Y/N said, looking down at her dress once more. 
The grand doors opened and the musicians immediately began playing. Y/N couldn’t stop herself from tearing up at the song. It was the same song that they shared their first ever dance to the night they met. 
Y/N’s eyes met Eris’s and her chest felt tighter. He was dressed in a suit similar gold to hers and had splashes of the gold dusting her eyes on his. She gasped at the sight of him, she had never seen him look so beautiful before. 
Even from the opposite end of the aisle, she could see the way he tried to hold in his tears. Her soul sang to his as she took her first few steps down the aisle. That invisible thread seemed to pull her toward him and she would gladly follow wherever he was. The male standing at the end of the aisle was the furthest thing from how others described him. He was loving and protective and the most incredible being Y/N had ever met. She was lucky to hold him in her arms every night. 
The closer Y/N got to Eris, she broke eye contact for the briefest moment to look around at all of the people surrounding her. Many were from other courts yet the hall was mostly filled with commoners from the Autumn Court. Y/N had invited the farmers, bakers and business owners. Families with children and without. This was not just a day to celebrate her and Eris, it was to celebrate the court itself and the positive changes it was making. 
Who she didn’t see however was her sisters. Her heart sank as the smile wavered on her face but once her eyes met Eris’s once more he nodded his head toward the back of the hall. Somewhere where Y/N had not even glanced at in the moments she began to walk down the aisle. 
There were her sisters. Each smiling as she walked down the aisle, Nyx in Feyre’s arms. Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel all sat beside them. Y/N locked eyes with each of her sisters and the smile on her face shined bright once more.
A small tap against her shields had Y/N immedietly bringing them down. 
You look beautiful, Feyre said. 
Thank you for coming, Y/N said.
We wouldn’t miss this, Feyre replied and she was gone from her mind. 
Y/N’s gaze lingered on her three sisters for a brief moment longer before she turned back to Eris. Y/N knew that she had to walk in pace to the music but in those last few feet she didn’t care. She passed her boquet to a Day Court official sitting on the end of the row and lifted up the front of her skirt as she ran to Eris. 
Eris only opened his arms as she flung her arms around him.
“You are stunning,” Eris mumbled into her ear. 
Y/N didn’t respond as she took a step back as Eris took her hands in his. As they locked eyes, Eris finally allowed a singular tear to fall down his cheek. Y/N released her fans from his hold and wiped it away. 
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Eris whispered.
“Me neither,” Y/N replied, bringing his hand to her lips and kissing his knuckles tenderly. 
Both Y/N and Eris seemed to be in their own small world when the ceremony began. Everything around them seemed to melt away until the two of them stood alone in the hall together. Eris’s hand shook as he held onto hers, it reminded Y/N of their mating ceremony, he was nervous then too. A small squeeze of reassurance was all it took to subside the shaking. A reminder to Eris that he was present and the whole spectacle was just a figment of his imagination. 
“And now the vows,” the officiator announced.
The wedding was more accustomed to a human wedding ceremony with elements of a fae ceremony sprinkled in to make it official. Eris wanted to replicate her dream wedding and he had done it to perfection. It was as if Y/N stepped out of her own daydream.
Eris let out a shaky breath before speaking. “Y/N, I will begin by saying that you are the love of my life. A love that I never thought I deserved.”
Eris took another breath and closed his eyes, as if he were begging the tears to stay at bay. “I will keep this short because you already know how much I adore and love you but I want you to know Y/N, that you saved my life. The moment you walked into it, everything was changed, the planets aligned, you saved me from myself, from dooming this court to continue under the way it was ruled previously.”
“You are my light, Y/N, a light I never thought would shine upon me. A light so bright yet I never saw it coming. You are my mate, my love, my wife, my whole world. And I will spend eternity loving you because it is what you deserve, it is what you have always deserved.”
The tears fell in rhythmic succession down Y/N’s face as she held tightly onto Eris’s hands. “How am I meant to follow that?”
A small chorus of laughs echoed throughout the hall.
Eris smiled brightly and squeezed her hands. 
“Eris, I love you,” Y/N began. Her heart hammered in her chest. “I wasn’t looking for love when I found you. But you were so patient with me, you allowed me to pursue things at my own pace. Never once did you pressure me into anything.”
Eris’s thumb lightly caressed her knuckles and Y/N struggled to keep her composure. 
“I love your smile, I love your laugh, I even love the way you want to hold my hand every moment of the day even if it is inconvenient for us both.” Eris chuckled quietly and dipped his head. “Most importantly Eris, I love your soul. I love how much you love and how much you care. And now I am just talking from the heart, but you deserve this. You deserve so much love, and I will happily give it to you for our entire lives, as your wife, as your mate, as your friend. You are my entire life, Eris and you always will be.”
With their eyes locked, Eris sent so much love down the bond that it was almost overwhelming. But Y/N just simply returned it. 
“And with that,” the officiator began. “I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride, High Lord.”
“I damn sure will,” Eris said before gently cupping Y/N’s cheeks and pressed his lips against hers in a gentle, yet passionate kiss. 
Their tears mixed together and Y/N was sure that the gold dusting her and Eris’s eyelids was now all over their faces but she didn’t care. She was kissing her husband, her mate, the love of her life. 
Something deep within Y/N seemed to awaken and before she knew it heat surrounded them as the guests gasped in awe. Y/N only pulled away from Eris to look at the spectacle that surrounded them. Fire swirled in elegant patterns around the hall. Sparks falling down around the hall but vanished when they were close to anything it could harm. 
Y/N gasped. “Did you do this?”
Eris was not looking at the spectacle when Y/N turned back to him, he was only looking at her. “No,” he answered. “You are.”
“But how–”
“I told you, there is more to your power,” Eris wrapped his hand around hers.
The fire slowly began to disappear until nothing remained. Y/N turned back to Eris, whose eyes were still fixed on her.
“Shall we go, my love?” Eris asked. 
Y/N smiled. “Yes we shall.”
The two walked down the aisle to the applause of everyone in the hall.
***
The ballroom was smaller than the hall Y/N and Eris married in but was still just as grand. People danced and enjoyed themselves. Some drank too much and were escorted out by their friends. It was everything Y/N had envisioned for her wedding day. 
The only thing she needed was her sisters. 
As Y/N walked through the ballroom, her sights set on the group huddled in the far corner of the ballroom. Her sisters, more specifically Elain, was straying further from the group as she tried to find someone in the mass of people, but once her younger sister's eyes landed on her she smiled and rushed over. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Elain said as she wrapped her in a hug. 
Y/N’s arms immediately wrapped around her sister and hugged her fiercely. “It’s okay. I am glad you are here.”
As Y/N pulled away from Elain, Feyre and Nesta were approaching. Like Elain, Feyre gave her a hug and offered her a quiet apology. Finally Nesta stood before her. Unlike her two youngest sisters, Nesta remained there, as elegant as ever, with her arms folded across her chest. 
“Nesta,” Y/N greeted. “I am glad you are–”
Before Y/N could finish her sentence, Nesta had wrapped Y/N in a tight hug. She had never been too close to Nesta and she was sure that she could count on one hand the number of times they had hugged in their life. But this was by far Y/N’s favourite. 
“I am sorry for the way we treated you, Y/N,” Nesta said and pulled away. 
“It is okay,” Y/N said.
“No it isn’t, Y/N,” Feyre said. “We should not have pushed you away. We should not have ignored you. Your trauma from the cauldron was just as valid as Nesta and Elain and we did nothing for you.”
“We are also sorry for how we treated you and Eris,” Elain butt in. “From the looks of things, you two love each other and he absolutely adores you. It was wrong of us to assume he had forced you to stay here.”
“Can you ever forgive us?” Feyre asked. 
“There are a lot of things you three have not done for me over the past few years,” Y/N began. “Feyre, Elain you have described them perfectly. I am not forgiving you immediately, we three need to have time to rebuild any relationship we had before.” Her three sisters lost the small smiles on their faces. “But tonight, I would just like to be with my sisters and celebrate with them. When I imagined my wedding day, I always pictured you three there beside me.”
Elain took Y/N’s hand. “We will always be beside you, Y/N. We love you.”
Y/N smiled. “I love you three too.”
Y/N held a little tighter onto Elain’s hand and then gripped onto Nesta’s hand. “Now as it is my wedding day and as I am High Lady of this court, I demand you three to dance with me.”
Y/N dragged the two to the centre of the dancefloor. People around them watched but Y/N couldn’t find it within herself to care about appearances. All she wanted to do was have fun with her sisters. Nests tried to remain poised but Y/N simply held onto her hands and pulled her sister into a dance. 
“Nesta, there is no one to impress here,” Y/N said, twirling her sister around. “Relax.”
Nesta’s shoulders seemed to relax the slightest amount as the musicians began to play a more upbeat piece of music. Y/N spun around on the dancefloor with her sisters and she began to beckon people to join them. 
Standing on the outskirts of the circle was Aliana and Y/N beckoned her over. She did so without complaint. Y/N released Nesta’s hands and gripped onto Aliana’s. “I am so glad you decided to join the celebrations.”
“You have invited most of the village!” Aliana exclaimed. “I expected to walk in and be amongst official court advisors.”
“I invited everyone from the village, and some of the surrounding ones,” Y/N said. “I would have invited more but I don’t believe that there would be time for them to travel, so I sent them all small wedding favours.”
“When I heard that there was going to be a High Lady of Autumn, I didn’t expect you to be so kind,” Aliana said. 
Y/N smiled. “I only want what is best for everyone. Everyone deserves to be seen and live in a safe space. I did not have that growing up so I want to make sure others do.”
“Thank you, Y/N,” Aliana said. “From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”
“There is no need to thank me,” Y/N said and caught a glimpse of someone over Aliana’s shoulder. “There is someone here to see you.”
Aliana released Y/N’s hands and turned to look behind her. She gasped as tears sprung to her eyes. “Is that-?”
“Your mother,” Y/N said. “I released her from her ban from the Autumn Court. She can come back whenever she pleases. She can even move back if she wanted.”
Aliana flung her arms around Y/N. “Thank you, Y/N. Nobody has ever done something ths kind to our family before.”
Y/N wrapped her arms around Aliana before gently pulling away. “Go and spend time with your mother. I will see you later.”
“Later? What do you mean later?” Aliana asked.
“Well, I will need a royal seamstress for the palace,” Y/N said.
Aliana stepped away. “That is a made up title.”
“You are correct,” Y/N replied. “I did just make that up. But that is your new title if you choose to accept it.” Aliana opened her mouth to reply but Y/N simply held up her hand. “We can discuss more about it another time. Go to your mother.”
“Thank you,” Aliana said and rushed toward her mother and threw her arms around her. Y/N smiled at the sight. 
“Come on!” Elain exclaimed and pulled Y/N in for another dance in the crowd of people.
Y/N happily complied as through the crowd she saw Eris. He held a glass of wine in his hand as he watched her with a smile. Y/N beckoned him to the dance floor but he shook his head and nodded in the direction of her sisters. Before Y/N could try to coerce him again, Lucine appeared at his side and he was sucked into conversation. 
Y/N turned back to her sisters and danced the night away.
***
The music was slower and a lot of people had retired home, though many still remained. Y/N’s arms were wrapped around Eris’s neck and her head rested on his shoulder as they gently swayed to the music. 
“My wife,” Eris muttered.
“My husband,” Y/N muttered in return.
“I don’t know how I ever lived without you,” Eris said, his voice full of emotion. “You are the other half of my soul.”
Y/N gripped onto him tighter. She still was overwhelmed with emotions, all melting together and she couldn’t distinguish what emotion was what. 
“You are a dream, Eris Vanserra,” Y/N said.
“And you are a vision, Y/N Archeron,” Eris replied.
“Are you upset that I didn’t take your name?” Y/N asked.
“My love, I do not care,” Eris said. “All I care about is that I can call you my wife and my mate.”
“I love you,” Y/N muttered, pressing a soft kiss to the side of Eris’s neck.
“I love you too,” Eris replied, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. 
The picture perfect image was interrupted by a small cough. Eris tensed and Y/N pulled away to look directly into Rhysand’s eyes.
“May I have a dance, High Lady?” Rhysand asked.
Eris held a protective arm around her waist as he glared at Rhysand. Her hand rested on his chest in a comforting manner. From the looks of things Rhysand did not look like he was here to cause any drama. Both Cassian and Azriel were standing on the outskirts conversing with Nesta and Feyre, Elain was nowhere to be seen.
“Of course,” Y/N said. “Eris, would you mind getting me a drink? I won’t be long.”
“Yes, my love,” Eris replied, pressing a kiss to her cheek. His gaze once again fell upon Rhysand before he turned and walked away, leaving both Y/N and Rhysand alone.
Rhysand swept Y/N in a dance, his hand resting on her mid back while he clutched her hand with his as he spun around the dancefloor.
“Why did you want to dance, Feyre is just over there?” Y/N questioned.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Rhysand replied.
“Then talk,” Y/N said bluntly. “I was happy spending time with Eris before you cut in.”
Rhysand looked around the ballroom. “How did you convince him to invite people from the village?”
Y/N frowned, offended on behalf of her mate and husband. “I did not convince him to do anything, Rhysand. I sent out the invitations and he helped me do it.” Y/N pulled away. “If the only thing you want to do is insult Eris to my face, then I will gladly leave you here.”
Rhysand sighed and caught her wrist. “I am sorry, Y/N. I truly am.”
“Look, I do not like you, Rhysand. I have made that abundantly clear time and time again,” Y/N said. “But you make my sister happy, happier than I have ever seen her so I must thank you for that. You also played a part in creating my adorable nephew and that is another thing I can thank you for. But you and I are not friends. Especially not when you insult Eris at every given chance, even after Feyre explained to you why he did the things that he did.”
Rhysand sighed once more. “I know, and I don’t expect you to forgive me.”
Against her better judgement, Isal gently took his hand in hers. “Listen, Rhysand. I do not forgive you now, and I probably won’t forgive you until many years down the line, first you must not continue to see Eris as his father. He will never admit it to anyone else but me but that is what he fears the most. He is scared of becoming like his father, sometimes he wakes in the middle of the night crying and screaming because nightmares plague him.” Y/N said. “You need to realise that the two have quite a lot in common. All you both wanted is to protect the ones you love.”
Rhysand remained silent. 
“If you actually want to see the positive changes already made in the court, because of me and Eris, you and everyone else are welcome to stay for the following few days, there are plenty of guest rooms available,” Y/N offered. “Now if you will excuse me, I am going to spend time with the person I love. As for you, try to at least have fun and not act like a sword is hanging over your head.”
With that Y/N stepped away from Rhysand and walked away from him, a weight lifted from her shoulders.
She found Eris standing by the drinks table and she hastily approached him, not wanting to be apart from him any longer. Eris immediately perked up as Y/N drew closer, pulling her into his side once she was in arm's reach. 
“What did he want to talk about?” Eris asked, lazily resting his arm around Y/N’s shoulders. 
“I think it was meant to be an apology,” Y/N said, taking a sip of the wine. “But I am sure he just spent the time trying to pick fault with you.”
Eris growled and looked in Rhysand’s direction. But all Y/N needed to do was link her fingers with his and his attention was instantly devoured back to her. 
“It’s our wedding day,” Y/N said softly. “Let us just spend the remainder of the night together and not worry about anything else, or anybody else for that matter.”
Eris moved his face closer to hers so his lips hovered just above hers. “I like the sound of that idea.” His voice was low and deep, the tone that always made Y/N weak at the knees. 
Eris connected their lips and Y/N abandoned her drink on the table and wrapped her arms around him. She did not care that they were standing where everyone could see, the only thing that mattered was Eris and the fact that he was hers. 
Y/N was the first to pull away. She rested her forehead on his. “I know we will be leaving close to two hundred people in the ballroom, but all I want to do is retire to our bedroom. I don’t even want to have sex, I just want to lay down in our bed and hold one another until we fall asleep.”
“I like the sound of that idea more,” Eris said and began to drag her through the ballroom and to the exit. 
“You always love the sound of my ideas,” Y/N commented.
“I do,” Eris said. “I could listen to them for hours on end and never tire of your voice.”
“You are just saying that because you love me,” Y/N teased.
“That is true,” Eris jokes. “When I am tired and you ask me if I am still awake to ask me a silly question, that is when I tire of your voice.”
Y/N laughed as she and Eris stumbled into their bedroom. Almost immediately, Eris began to unlace her dress and watched as it fell away and to the floor, leaving her in only a simple pair of underwear. 
“You are truly stunning,” Eris said. “I should tell you that more often.”
“You tell me that every day,” Y/N said, beginning to take off Eris’s clothing. 
“It is never enough,” Eris replied, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder.
Y/N shivered as he unclasped her bra and let it fall from her body. There was nothing sexually charged about the atmosphere, all Y/N and Eris needed was to hold each other and to feel each other. 
Y/N pulled him to the bed and shuffled to the centre of it, pulling Eris across with her. The contrast of the cool sheets and the heat emitting from Eris’s body made her relax and pull Eris closer so her head could easily rest in the crook of his neck. 
Now that they were in privacy, Eris’s entire demeanour changed. When he was surrounded by court officials, from their own court and others, and the fae from the village, he put up his High Lord front. But now, with only Y/N as witness, he stripped that all back and was fully able to be his true self. The side that only Y/N ever got to see. 
“My mate, my wife,” Eris mumbled. “I will never tire of saying that.”
“My mate, my husband,” Y/N responded, her lips brushing his neck. “I will never tire of saying it either.”
Eris drew small patterns upon her skin as the two lay there in silence. Y/N’s eyes were closed but she was not sleeping, she was simply enjoying the simple pleasure in being cuddled up to the love of her life. The love that she never thought would ever come true. The love she deserved. The love she was destined for.
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razzberriezz · 6 months
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Fashion Dreamer Tips & Tricks
Some stuff only I found that isn't mentioned or in-game at all or is easily missed as far as I'm aware? I hope it helps some of you guys out :) It is quite image-heavy under the cut, fair warning!!
Colour Matching (Item Creator) Pressing down on the left stick changes the display from mannequin to the item itself, but pressing it again will show whatever item you're creating along with whatever your muse is currently wearing.
So if you've gotten a custom coloured item from someone else, this is great for making items and accessories to match with it! And you don't have to waste 120k points trying to match colours by guesstimation instead like me :'))) Or maybe I'm just dumb because I knew how to zoom in and out, just not the display switching OTL
2. Showroom Configuration (is stupid) This is for the Happy Home Paradise players... Make sure that any mannequins or clothing you display in your showroom is actually accessible, because you cannot walk under ceiling decorations, even if they are lighting. I have no idea why. You also can't change the camera angle, so it'd be best not to put the door/panel decorations all in a row at the front, because then players can't see what you're even displaying (unless it's just like a mannequin in the middle surrounded by lockers... Idk)
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Taking the time to plug my showroom again before I swap out the outfits for the fancier stuff I have >o< Find me at a8xv4JW3Am!
3. Muse Advisors There are at least 2 or 3 advisors who are present at the Muse Mirror in each Cocoon in rotation. (e.g. Noz and Iris in HOPE) They can not only suggest colours and unique makeup that you haven't obtained yet* (I've seen a look where your character gets like a Batman/Robin mask lol), but also give you their own! If the one whose look you want isn't there, you just have to quick-travel (press down on the right stick) to another Cocoon and back. Otherwise, you can just keep talking to them and backing out until their option shows up.
Before & After (Iris ver.)!
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(*Unfortunately, they won't give you unique eye shines/reflections.)
4. NPCs I've just learnt that the NPCs you start with are most likely random. I've seen others start with NPCs I haven't even seen or heard of! You need to raise their friendship level until you get a special event that says 'Friend Introduction' - and even then, I think the NPC who appears next might be random (unconfirmed). This may make it quite a pain for those who want the unnatural skin colours, since I believe they are only unlockable via NPC friendship rank... So just go into solo mode and spam some outfits :')
5. Camera Angles and Idle Poses This one is a bit useless, but I didn't know about it until now so it's going in. Most of the time, I use the drone camera to take photos, but could never really fit fullbody photos - turns out, you need to angle the camera slightly downwards (have your character looking up) to be able to zoom out enough to fit your Muse's whole body in. If the camera angle is level with your Muse, you will never be able to get a fullbody picture. Who thought this would be a good idea???
Level angle and tilted angle - the level angle is already at the lowest it could go.
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Additionally, waiting for a while will let your character have the time to perform some idle animations, some of which (I think) are not present in the poses option, even via NPC friendship rank. The downside is that you'll have to crop out some parts of the UI and the quality will be a little lower - however, that can be fixed using waifu2x (which I tend to use anyways for aesthetic posts lol).
Before & After using waifu2x!
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Since the game is so new I thought this might be helpful to some who are also just starting out. If anything here is wrong, please let me know and I'll fix it as soon as possible!
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melzula · 2 months
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North and South
part one
pairing: zuko x princess!reader
notes: i’m so excited to finally be at the last comic storyline of the series. i do admit there are a lot of noticeable changes from the comic, but i still hope you guys enjoy. also i did make a series playlist if you guys want to give it a listen, it’s included on the masterlist!
summary: while doing her best to rebuild the tribe, the Chief struggles to determine what is really best for her people. however, she hopes that the return of her friends will allow her to see things in a clearer view
~ part of the fire lilies series ~
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After a long day of teaching, you find yourself locked away in your office looking over proposals for the Reconstruction Project. Your head aches from the hours you’ve spent assessing paperwork and writing notes of your own about Hakoda’s new proposal. Things seem to be going well for the most part, your tribe is growing stronger with every passing day, but there’s still much to be done.
It’s been three months since you last visited the Fire Nation and helped Zuko find the missing children, and since returning home all of your attention has been focused on the needs of your people. You’re doing all you can to be the leader your father would want you to be and your tribe needs you to be, but the reconstruction process has made this a much more difficult task.
A gentle knock on your office door breaks you from your thoughts and brings you back to the present, refocusing your attention on the papers sprawled out before you. “Come in.”
“Chief y/n,” Hakoda greets you cordially before gently shutting the door behind him. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“No, of course not, I was just reviewing the proposal you and Malina submitted.”
“And?” He asks with a hopeful glint in his eye. You simply sigh, carefully rubbing your temple in thought before grabbing the papers from your desk and handing them back to him.
“I don’t think I can approve the construction of these plans,” you admit guiltily. “I know there’s an oil deposit here that could be beneficial to the growth of our tribe if used correctly, but can you assure me that will be the case once it’s built? Can you assure me it won’t have any negative impact on our wildlife or our people or our way of life? Can you assure me that it won’t cause tension between us and our sister tribe?”
“I… I can’t promise you any of that,” Hakoda admits with a sigh. “But isn’t taking chances part of making change? This oil could help build machines and make our way of life easier.”
“I’ve heard how some of the Notherners speak of us. I gave Maliq an earful the last time I caught him talking down to my men, and I don’t believe his intentions with this project consider the South’s best interests. Our people don’t deserve just fancy machinery and modern technology, they deserve dignity and respect. At this moment in time I’m not comfortable moving forward with the oil rigs. My answer is no.”
“I understand,” your advisor relents with a disappointed sigh. “I’ll inform Malina and Maliq of your response, and I’ll work hard to make sure we can show you that this project will be worthwhile.”
“Thank you, Hakoda. Now, onto less serious matters,” you note with a faint smile. “Based on the letter I received Katara and Sokka should be arriving tomorrow, and in two days I’ll be hosting a celebration in honor of their return. I can count on you to be there?”
“Of course, but… you won’t mention anything of Malina will you?” He asks hesitantly. “I should be the one to tell them.”
“I don’t like keeping secrets from friends, but I also know that this is a family matter, so you have my word,” you assure him. He thanks you and bids you goodnight before departing from your office, and once again you are all alone.
“What am I going to do?” You sigh, eyes straining as you try looking over the plans again. Change has been necessary to keep your tribe growing and your people strong, but you worry that perhaps there’s been too much change. The only thing that’s really stayed the same is the palace, but even now it feels out of place amongst all the modern buildings and structures. The Southern Water Tribe feels too Northern, and you worry your people are beginning to lose their identity.
Nothing makes sense anymore, but you hope that with the arrival of your friends will come a clearer view on the future ahead.
You can only hope for the best.
~~~
The South is bustling with activity as you usher in your students for the day’s lesson. Your class is reasonably small, made up of only about ten attendees and only two of them being originally from the South. Those two were the most resistant to your lessons, but you did your best to be as understanding of their hesitancy as possible. You too understood the trauma and fear that came with being forced to hide your bending once the war broke out in the South, and some people were still getting used to the fact that there was no longer any danger to run from.
“Good morning my little koala otters,” you greet cheerfully. “I hope you all are well rested and ready for today’s lesson.”
“Excuse me,” a voice calls, bringing your attention to the doorway, “do you have room for another student?”
You nearly collapse from the excitement that fills you at the sight of your two friends standing in the doorway with Master Pakku in tow ready to take over classes for you. You almost trip over your own feet as you rush towards the siblings and throw your arms around them in the tightest hug imaginable.
“Sokka, Katara! I’m so happy to see you guys,” you exclaim with a tearful smile before pulling away. “I can’t believe you’re back already.”
“It’s great to see you again, y/n,” Katara agrees, a content look on her face, “and it’s good to be home, even though it does look… different.”
“I know, it is a bit much,” you admit with an uncomfortable laugh, “but the people seem to like it, and your father thinks a modern look is just what our tribe needs.“
“Is our dad a great advisor or what?” Sokka asks Katara, a prideful smile on his face.
“He certainly has been a great help. Thanks to him and the construction crew from the North I’ve been able to focus on my bending school and more of the social affairs around the South. Having more time to connect with my people helps me be the best Chief I can and make sure I’m making the right choices for them.”
“Speaking of the construction crew,” Katara interrupts with a sour look on her face. “I caught them trying to attack little kids who were playing near a construction site.”
“It was just a misunderstanding, Katara,” Sokka reasons with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Besides, you kicked their butts anyway!”
“That’s terrible,” you express with a worried frown. “I’ll have to have a word with Malina about her crew; they won’t be welcomed here any longer if they keep this sort of behavior up. I won’t have outsiders tormenting my people.”
“This Malina… do you trust her?”
“Why do you ask?” You say, trying to feign obliviousness. You certainly don’t want to get in the middle of anything, but it’s hard having to lie to someone who’s been there for you through thick and thin.
“Well, we’re supposed to have dinner tonight with my dad, and her and her brother Maliq will be joining us. But I’m not really sure if I trust her,” Katara admits sullenly. “Something doesn’t feel right about them.”
“You just have to give her a chance. Anyone who can come up with cool designs like that can’t be all that bad,” her brother argues much to her annoyance.
“You only like her because she’s feeding you,” she grumbles indignantly.
“Look, I think you should speak to your father. He spends more time with her than I do, and he’ll be able to explain things much better than I probably could. The only thing I can tell you both is to keep your schedules open because tomorrow night I’ll be hosting a celebration in your honor!”
“What? You don’t have to do that!” Katara exclaims in surprise.
“Of course I do. You’re Southern heroes, you saved the world by helping the Avatar and you saved our tribe when you helped me defeat Koa,” you explain adamantly. “We’re having the party, and as Chief I demand your presence.”
“You’ve let the power go to your head, haven’t you?” Sokka accuses jokingly. “Don’t worry, y/n, we’ll be there.”
“Good,” you smile, pleased at getting your way. “We’re all going to have a wonderful time and everything is going to work itself out. These things just take time.”
“I guess you’re right,” Katara murmurs, but you can still detect the uncertainty in her features.
“Listen, why don’t you both come by tomorrow after my lessons are over? I can give you a grand tour of the new and improved Southern Water Tribe!” You suggest eagerly. “Your opinions matter too, and I want as much input as possible about how to improve our home for everyone.”
“That sounds nice,” she admits with a meek smile. “Maybe that’s what we need, a chance to settle into life back home.”
“Perfect! I’m excited to show you our procgress!”
While Katara appreciates your enthusiasm, she still doesn’t feel right about Malina or the changes made in the South. It doesn’t really feel like home anymore; it’s so different from how life once was. For your sake she’ll try to give it a chance, but as of now it seems it’ll take a lot more than her father’s reassurance to convince her that these changes are for the best.
But she hopes that maybe you’re right, maybe these things just take time, and maybe once time has passed it’ll feel like normal again.
She can only hope.
~~~
“After we finished rebuilding the outer tribes, we began our work on the royal plaza. It’s now become the main center for commerce, diplomacy, and unity. The local businesses that have opened here have been massively successful, and the square is constantly bustling with activity.”
Katara feels overwhelmed by the whirlwind of information you throw at her as you guide her and Sokka through the brand new royal village. You’re right about it always being busy- people rush by your trio to start their work for the day or bargain for the latest deals at the merchant stands. They look happy, content, and out of place. The people don’t match the towering buildings around them, and they surely don’t look like the same people she’d left behind a few years ago.
“And everyone is happy with the changes?” She asks curiously.
“Well, some were resistant to the change, so I tried to be as accommodating as possible. Those who didn’t want new homes were allowed to keep their original huts, and I didn’t force the outer tribes to merge with the royal village. I gave them the autonomy to govern their own affairs so long as it doesn’t interfere with the overall success of the tribe, but they’re still required to report to me at least once a month about their progress and request aid if needed.”
“So it’s kind of like the Earth Kingdom in a way?” Sokka points out indeterminately. “You‘ve established cities while still keeping the palace as the center point of the tribe.”
“I guess that’s true,” you note thoughtfully at his observation. “Father said I’d gain the knowledge needed to lead by traveling the world, so I’m using the knowledge I’ve gained for the benefit of my people.”
“I hate to burst your burble, Princess, but I don’t think everything’s as perfect as you say it is,” the boy says with a frown. Faltering, you slow yourself to a stop and turn to face the siblings. Their features are riddled with apprehension, and you’re not sure what to make of it.
“What do you mean, Sokka? Is there something you don’t like about the changes? Is there something I should be doing better?” You ask, fretful over the idea of not living up to the expectations placed upon you as leader.
“No, no, I think you’re doing a great job, honest. It’s just… well, some people aren’t happy about the Northerners being here.”
“Last night Malina was attacked at dinner, and we were forced to chase after these kids that stole Maliq’s briefcase,” Katara begins to explain, lowering her voice to ensure no one can overhear your conversation. “We followed them to the abandoned Fire Nation shipwreck and discovered a series of tunnels underneath.”
“There was an entire group of Southerners down there led by Gilak, a warrior who fought alongside our fathers against the Fire Nation,” Sokka continues, and you can only hang on to every word. You feel ashamed to know that this has been going on without your knowledge, and it’s almost as if you’ve failed in a sense. You’re Chief, it’s your job to know of things like this, and yet you’re having to find out about it through your friends. “They’re not happy about our sister tribe’s presence here in the South.”
“I understand some of the Northerners can be a bit blunt and unpleasant at times, but I didn’t think it was this bad,” you admit with a disappointed frown. “What did they tell you?”
“He said he understood that at first it was necessary for you to bring in people from the North to help restore bending to our tribe because it would make us stronger,” Sokka explains as he recalls the awkward encounter. “But now he thinks my dad is going overboard with all the people he’s brought in to help us rebuild.”
“He says we’re becoming a cheap imitation of the North,” Katara murmurs thoughtfully, and by the look on her face it seems as if she agrees with the sentiment.
“What else did Galik say?”
“They want to eradicate the presence of foreigners and are prepared to go to war to do so,” Sokka says sullenly, not exactly enjoying having to break this news to you. “He says we have to get rid of the Northerners before they take advantage of you.”
“Of me?” You retort in bewilderment. You definitely didn’t expect that to come out Sokka’s mouth. Katara then places a comforting hand on your shoulder.
“Galik and his followers believe that your relationship with Zuko- an outsider- has made you too trusting of foreigners. He thinks the Northerners are taking advantage of this trust to worm their way into the affairs of the South.”
“He compared our father to Koa,” Sokka spits irately, still fuming at the memory. “He thinks he’s abusing his position as advisor to go behind your back and make all these changes.”
“That’s not true at all!” You exclaim in disbelief. “Spirits, this has all gotten so out of hand. What am I to do?”
“Hey, don’t worry, we’re going to figure it out. Our dad is already investigating the matter as we speak,” your friend assures you, doing his best to alleviate your worry. “You’re doing great, Chief.”
You give him a meek smile at his encouragement, but his words do little to quell your anxieties. The last thing you want is a civil war to break out between your tribes, but at this point it’s starting to feel inevitable. You just hope Hakoda can put a stop to this before it gets too out of hand.
“Y/n, could I speak to you alone?” Katara asks suddenly much to the surprise of her brother.
“Of course. We’ll have to finish our tour another time, Sokka,” you tell the water tribe boy with an apologetic smile. Turning to his sister, you gesture for her to follow. “There’s something I want to show you.”
You weave your way through the village and back towards the palace square. The towering buildings slowly fade away the further you go, and the air here is more peaceful and serene with the absence of all the merchants and people. After a while you finally reach your stop, allowing Katara a moment to take in the building before her.
“What is this place?” She asks in awe, admiring the pristine marble work of the pillars lining the structure.
“Let’s go inside,” you suggest with a careful smile before ushering her toward. Immediately she’s greeted with a vast expanse of artifacts, artwork, literature, and more. Each section has its own label and scroll of information detailing the importance of the different exhibits, and Katara figures it would probably take hours to look through everything.
“This is incredible. Did you do all of this?”
“This was one of the first buildings I commissioned as Chief,” you recount with a proud smile. “The South lost so much because of the war, and I didn’t want anyone to forget all that we’d been through and all we’d done to survive. This museum holds every piece of history of the Southern Water Tribe, and I hope it can be used to educate others about our strength and resilience.”
“I want the South to grow, Katara. I want us to connect with others, to live in harmony with the other Nations. I want people from all over the world to visit the South and learn about our culture. Is it really so naive of me to have such hope?”
“No, I guess not,” Katara admits guiltily. “Y/n, the reason I wanted to speak to you alone was because I- well, because Malina and my father are together, and I’m not sure how to feel. She’s nothing like my mother, and I don’t think she’s good enough for my dad.”
“I know what it’s like to lose a parent,” you note faintly, absently brushing your fingers against your tiger shark tooth necklace. “I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if my mother began to see someone else. But if it were to happen, I’d know that I’d just have to trust my mother’s judgement. Just like you have to trust your father’s.”
“It’s easier said than done,” Katara says with a huff. You merely give her a comforting smile and pull her figure into a hug.
“Just give it a chance. She doesn’t have to replace your mother, she never will, but it doesn’t hurt to get to know her. I think tonight’s festival would be the perfect opportunity, don’t you think?”
“Maybe you’re right,” she says with sigh, appreciating your comfort and wisdom. She’s glad to have you, and she knows you feel the same.
You part from your hug and give her a reassuring smile. “I have to head back to the palace now for a meeting with your father and the Northern siblings, but please feel free to stay in here as long as you’d like.”
She watches you depart from the room before turning her attention to the portrait before her. The image depicts a family from before the war, the mother and daughter brushing the animal pelts while the father and son cook freshly caught fish over the fire. They look happy, and Katara begins to feel her chest ache.
~~~
It’s a peaceful day in the Fire Nation as Zuko sits in the gardens and enjoys a cup of tea with his Uncle. It’s certainly been a stressful past few years, so he’s learned to enjoy calm and quiet moments like these where he can finally stop to catch his breath.
A servant approaches the table and bows in respect before offering the Fire Lord a scroll. “This just arrived from the South, sir.”
“Thank you,” he says, taking the scroll before dismissing the servant.
“A letter from the Princess?” Iroh asks with a curious smile, and based on the longing look that plays upon Zuko’s features as he reads the letter, the general confirms his guess to be correct.
“My love, I hope things in the Fire Nation are running smoothly. As you know, Hakoda has invited you for a conference that is to occur in just a few days. However, I’m hosting a celebration tomorrow for Katara and Sokka’s return home, and I would love for you to arrive early and attend! I hope to see you soon, Zuko. Yours truly, y/n.”
Smiling faintly, Zuko tucks the scroll away before looking to his Uncle. “Would you be able to look after things for a few extra days while I’m gone? It appears I’ll be taking my leave to the South earlier than expected.”
“Of course, nephew,” Iroh smiles cordially. “I would like nothing more than to allow you the chance to relax and enjoy some time with your beloved. Please do give the Princess my best.”
“Thank you, Uncle,” the Fire Lord says before excusing himself from the table and heading inside to prepare for his departure.
After months of waiting, Zuko is finally going to be reunited with the one he loves most.
| atla tags: @sirkekselord @niktwazny303
| zuko tags: @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @taeeemin @lora21 @livelaughlovekuni @lovialy
| fire lilies tags: @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @xapham @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch @docackerman @rinalsword
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lucysgraybird · 2 months
Text
modern!university!coriolanus x fem!reader. part 2 here, part 3 here
notes: this is not set in panem -- if you're looking for a vibe, think harvard/uchicago/any of the old-guard, upper echelon US universities. i have another part in the works that i'll post tomorrow or thursday. also i promise that they both have some crazy in them . It will appear in later parts
“Please remember that I cannot accept late work for this essay,” your professor says as everyone packs up. “The deadline is the deadline for work for the semester, so everything has to be submitted by then. This includes any outstanding work you might have.”
She shoots a look at a boy in the front row when she says that, and he bows his head.
“Have a wonderful weekend, and I'll see you all Monday.”
You shove your laptop in your bag, sling it across your body, and make a beeline for the exit. This is your last class of the day and you have no intention of spending any more time in a lecture hall than you have to. Just as you're about to leave the building, someone catches you by the shoulder and pulls you back.
“Excuse you,” you mutter, turning to see who would do something so…well, to put it diplomatically, bold.
There stands a boy with a shock of hair so blonde it's nearly white and eyes so blue they're nearly translucent. It would be eerie if he didn't wear it well: angular and bright, it's like he's been carved from the purest block of ice. His pale features are offset by the rich ruby of his sweater. He looks royal, though you'd think a prince wouldn't go around grabbing girls by their arms.
“I'm sorry,” he says. “I've been wanting to talk to you for weeks, but you always fly out of the building and I didn't want to miss you this time.”
“Talk to me? About what?”
God willing, not about some group project that had slipped your mind. You're so careful about organization, but sometimes things slip through the cracks.
“Would you like to go out with me?”
“Who are you?”
His eyebrows (the only dark thing on his face) twitch, and you wonder if he's so arrogant as to assume you'd know who he is. He doesn't say anything, though, just extending a hand to you.
“Coriolanus Snow. Pleasure.”
You shake his hand, finding the official-ness of it a little odd. When you open your mouth to introduce yourself, he stops you.
“I realize this is going to sound…odd, but I do know who you are. You're the only person I listen to in that insipid class.”
“Oh.”
Because honestly, what are you supposed to say to that?
“Let me take you to dinner, please,” Coriolanus says. “At least for the conversation.”
Your pause must spur him on, because he continues, “And you're gorgeous. Honestly, you caught my eye before you even started speaking, and then…well.”
He's very forward, but it doesn't come off as desperate. He carries himself with such a confident air that if he hadn't tried to be suave, it would've been more awkward.
You allow yourself to be flattered, offering him a soft laugh. His poise must be a front, at least a little, and you can put up a façade too.
“Why, thank you, Coriolanus. I'd love to go out with you, but I'm so busy with finals coming up…”
This is partly true – you're taking the maximum number of credits your advisor would let you, which is over the credit load the school has set, so you have a good deal of work to do. However, you're not above playing a little hard-to-get, especially if you are interested in the person. Half the fun of a hunt is the chase.
“All the more reason to go out. I know a spot if you're free tonight – one more bit of fun before hitting the books?”
“What kind of fun, Mr. Snow?”
“Well, we'll see where the night takes us, if that's a yes.”
It can't hurt, right?
“It's a yes. I'll text you my address?” You extend your phone to him, a delicate smile gracing your lips.
“Perfect,” he says, putting in his number. “I'll pick you up at 7:30. Wear something nice.”
“Where are we going?”
“A surprise, but it's very classy. You'll love it.”
You can't wait to look this guy up when you get home. “I'm looking forward to it. See you tonight."
“See you tonight.”
“Classy” is an unhelpful dress code, you're discovering. It refers to such a range of places, so you're left to take a guess and hope you don't make some sort of grave faux pas. You're limited in being overdressed as a university student, so you select the nicest thing you brought from home. It's a wine-coloured dress that skims just the middle of your calves, with a cowl at the neck and a sweeping back that shows a tasteful (yet tempting, you hope) amount of skin. With a thin necklace and some earrings, you could fit in at most “nice” restaurants that would be appropriate for a first date with a nigh-stranger.
At 7:25, you slip on your coat and heels and head down to the lobby of your apartment building. Something tells you that Coriolanus has a tendency towards extreme punctuality, so you'd rather not keep him waiting a moment.
Just as you suspected, at 7:30 exactly the silhouette of a tall man appears at your door and your phone buzzes with a text.
Coriolanus Snow: I'm here.
When you open the door, he is, indeed, there, holding a bouquet of white roses and wearing a red vest and slacks with a white dress shirt. He is nothing if not coordinated, you suppose.
“Ah,” he says. “Hello. These are for you.”
It is a lovely gesture, and it garners a genuine blush from you while you accept the bouquet. “Thank you. They're gorgeous. I didn't even know they made white roses.”
He offers his elbow to you, which you accept. Though it's odd, there's something sweet about his anachronistic nature. You, like any college girl, have had many a bad first date, and it's pleasant to have one with a man who is, at the least, polite.
“My grandmother grows them. I dropped by and picked these up on my way here. You look wonderful, by the way.”
“Oh! Thank you. I wasn't quite sure what to wear because I don't know where we're going, so I'm glad I chose well.” You glance over at his outfit. “We match, sort of.”
“So we do.”
He smiles in a way that's almost indescribable – it's not quite aloof, though it has some of the same calculation behind it. It actually feels incredibly personal, and sets your heart racing. Why this boy gets under your skin the way he does – the way no one has before – is something you have yet to discover.
Your walk with him ends at a black car, for which he opens the back door and allows you to climb in before following you. A scan of social media earlier had turned up tragically few results, and every single thing Coriolanus does makes you more curious about him. He settles next to you.
“So are you a polisci major, or are you just taking the one class?” You ask, unwilling to let silence be for more than a moment.
“Polisci and philosophy,” he replies. “My goal is law school directly after college, and then politics.”
“I should've guessed,” you say.
“Oh?”
“Not in a bad way. Just…you're very smooth. Well-spoken, attractive, all of that. You'd do well in politics.”
The corners of his lips turn in a slight smile. “You think I'm attractive?”
You laugh. “I certainly do, Coriolanus. I do have standards, you know.”
“Then I'm very glad I'm meeting them. Are you looking to do politics too, then, or…?”
“Honestly, not right now. I think I might stick to academia for a while. I don't have the stomach for pandering that you have to have for politics.”
“It's my least favourite part, honestly. I did some work for a senator last summer and the endless word-parsing drove me insane. No one ever says what they mean.”
“Right. The image of it all is fun, though. Like playing a character. But you don't have to do politics to do that.”
Coriolanus nudges his knee against yours. “Are you putting on an image for me right now?”
“A lady never tells. Are you putting on one for me?”
When you turn, he's a lot closer than you expected. You can see the spires in his irises, like cracked moonstones, and can smell his cologne: whiskey and spice and something woody, clean.
“You'll just have to find out,” he says, his voice low in his chest. It's said as a secret – there's no one else in the car, but it's as though if he says it too loud the leather of the seats might remember. These words were for your ears only, the rumble meant to coast across just your skin, and you shudder.
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deafmangoes · 2 months
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I'm not a shipper by nature, just putting that out there. But, uh, Dungeon Meshi does things to me.
Anyway, I've shared my Farcille thoughts, so now to blabber about a different popular ship: Labru. The Hot Mess. The Disaster Couple.
Firstly let's talk about the -bru part of the ship. Kabru is a neurotic little twink with PTSD and anxiety. I don't think that's in any sort of doubt. He exudes an entirely false confidence to hide his crippling self-hatred and survivor's guilt. For some reason, this makes him incredibly attractive to nearly everyone he encounters. Rin has the traditional tsundere crush, his whole party firmly believes in him (more than reflects his actual abilities), the ninjas blush when he smiles at them, even dead-hearted Mithrun warms up to him over time. The omakes take this even further: his landlord cleans his room for him, Dia's fiancé breaks down in tears when talking to him, and Holm's sister clearly wants to get it.
Kabru's not blind to any of this. He weaponises it, really. He's manipulative to an artform! Then he meets Laios. The Monsterfucker.
Laios' sexuality is not immediately clear from the manga. He definitely has a little flame for Marcille - between his awkwardness over touching her, his succubus taking her form, his illusion memory of her focusing on her power and strength - it's not love, I don't think it's even a crush, it's just that "boy sits across the table and stares intently at you" sort of feeling.
He doesn't show any direct interest in men but dearly desires their companionship. He practically kidnaps Shuro and - even though he struggles with Kabru's name at first - takes a liking to him instantly.
So do they make a good ship? Hell no, they're fucking awful together, but it works. Kabru just natually slithers in as advisor, and Laios is more than happy to have someone take all that off his plate. If there's anything there, I think it's one-sided from Kabru, and whatever feelings he has for Laios are based in his total confusion over how Laios just... survives. He finds him fascinating. Intriguing. Possibly sexually. If everyone else is an open book, Laios is the eldritch tome he cannot decipher and will burn him if he touches it. You can see why this ship seems to naturally arise from the canon.
But from Laios' point of view, I think he's... sort of homoerotic asexual? His feelings towards Marcille are more like a fascination with the exotic and monstrous (because she's Not A Tall-Man, and he doesn't want to be one), but his interactions with male companions are much more open and affectionate, even if he's a bit oblivious about it. I think he'd openly appreciate Kabru but wouldn't realise they were in a relationship until literally at the altar.
As another user put it: Laios is a human fascinated with monsters and wants to be one. Kabru sees himself as a monster and is fascinated with humans. They definitely compelement eachother.
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jingyuqn · 9 months
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JING YUAN — THE GENERAL'S ADVISOR
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[17:56]. Being the general's lover while being his advisor was a challenge. Between falling for his charms and having to force him to complete his work. (slight spoilers for 1.2, gn reader) word count ★ 498 note ★ second work after like a year lmao.
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Rushed footsteps sounded through the corridor, arms struggling to hold stacks of papers. You opened the door in a loud slam muttering a not so sincere apology. The sight of your superior sleeping peacefully halted your walk. His hair covering that beautiful face of his, head nestled in the warmth of his crossed arms set on the table. Jing yuan looked adorable.
You walked toward him, gently setting the papers down. You fished out your phone and set an alarm to ring in the next ten (10) seconds, as well as setting the volume to the highest point. 
Putting the phone close to his ear, you slowly backed up, counting the seconds in your mind. 
7…6…5…4…3…2…1!
The loud ringing of the alarm shook the sleeping man awake. You smiled at his alerted face, now making your way back to his desk. “ glad to see you awake sleeping beauty~” Your hand gently stroking his disheveled hair. “ What makes you so alert? ” the general looked at you, unamused. You tried to bite back the smugness, but it was so hard when you caught the dozing general off guard. 
Jing yuan noticed this and sighed, “ I can't believe my own lover would do this to me, how cruel.” he fake cried. 
You stared at him with a dead panned face. 
“ I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t sleeping more than you work.’’ You took a few papers and started what jing yuan calls ‘ bore to death talks ’. Funny title if it weren't you who made the talk.
Not even ten minutes in has jing yuan started to doze off, and each time you hit him with the papers. Hard. Ignoring his whines, you continued on with your reports occasionally finding yourself waking him up more often then you’d liked. 
“ These are the reports from the divination commission, Miss Fu Xuan would like you to get back to her as quickly as possible.” you left out the part where she threatens him if he doesn’t. Glancing up, you sigh at the general. Fast asleep already.
‘ I don't blame him, after all he’s been through with the stellaron hunters and that phantylia..’ a part of you wants to smack him awake again so he can finish working, however another part wished to let him. 
As his advisor, you should’ve chosen the first one. 
But the soft look on his face as he dreams of whatever warms your heart. If it’s for a while, it won’t hurt to indulge him, right?
Placing the paper works on the table, you set an alarm for two hours. This time you lower the volume. Crossing over the table separating you both, by gently placing his head on your laps you start playing with his hair. Unconsciously braiding a few strands. 
“ For now, rest well Jing yuan.” 
Unbest to you, said man was aware of your actions. A soft smile spread across his lips. But for his sake, you pretended not to see.
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©—jingyuqn. 2023
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seyaryminamoto · 2 months
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Azula's most overlooked characterization element
Why, hello there.
It is I.
And I'm back on my bullshit.
I didn't WANT to be. But a bunch of factors pulled me back in.
For the record: I'm not here to start any fights or light the fuse of arguments that I most likely won't have time or interest in responding to. What I AM here for... is to prove that there's something out there a bunch of people are delighted to sleep on because acknowledging it would render maaaany simplistic interpretations entirely invalid...
That group of people includes the fandom, of course. And the original show's staff. And the liveaction's staff, to a fault. Surely the TTRPG ones too. And absolutely, the comic book writers.
Hell, I'll even include MYSELF in that group, even though I'm making this post right now.
I found it really curious that I very recently saw this element mentioned in a pretty neat blog I follow, @atla-lore-archive, I absolutely advise anyone who hasn't checked out said archive to do it if you wish to understand a lot of the "extra lore" the fandom had access to, back in the old days when the turbonick ATLA site still existed and used to be the only source of deeper knowledge about the fandom besides the occasional interview that most people didn't even know where to track down.
But the funny thing is that the post I'm talking about proved that even Turbonick forgot about the people this post is about :')
And that would beeeeeeee...
*cue drumroll*
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Lo and Li!
What makes Lo and Li an important subject to discuss?
Why, a lot of things. Among them, the fact that almost nobody brings them into the core focus of any analysis made about Azula's character. I've personally mentioned them once or twice I believe, mostly as negatives, there's but ONE positive aspect I've ever found of them: them being non-benders MIGHT be a reason why Azula isn't shown as being quite so obsessive with firebending supremacy as Zuko was supposed to be.
But that's very much the sole good thing I can think to say about them and it's completely subjective, as good as a headcanon, because we don't even KNOW if they influenced Azula in that sense!
Why do they seem to get overlooked quite as much? Why... let's start thinking about it, shall we?
Lo and Li are Azula's firebending teachers. As far as anyone can tell, they're also her advisors. These two people should be an essential part of Azula's life... but ironically, we seldom see them with her. Most times, Azula isn't around these two. Whenever she is? It doesn't usually look like she's having a good time.
And that's no surprise, considering her first scene with those two very much puts forward a dynamic of cold distance between Azula and her mentors: Azula is bending LIGHTNING. We have not heard of other lightningbenders until that point, and once the full show wraps up, there's only THREE (Azula, Ozai, Iroh). Out of those three? Only one is a fourteen-year-old girl. It's very easy to assume Azula's lightning is actually a skill she mastered unusually early in life, perhaps relatively recently, hence the practicing... but she's pulling it off. She's succeeding. She's doing something that genuinely catches a first-time viewer off-guard!
And Lo and Li's entire opinion of what she did is: "Almost perfect. One hair out of place."
This tells you the Fire Nation's idea of "imperfection" is... insane. Strict. Imposing. Unyielding. Unforgiving. Azula's reaction isn't to get angry at Lo and Li for saying what they did: it's to get angry at herself and try again.
But... that's not the only instance where we see Azula getting angry around Lo and Li.
The next few times Azula is around them, she doesn't seem to have much of an emotional reaction (one is when they tell her to find other allies, the other when they herald her as a great hero who returned home from Ba Sing Se). In the second of these scenes, Lo and Li are praising Azula as incredible, beautiful, all sorts of grand things...! And Azula smiles. She smiles at the crowd. She's not smiling at the old ladies who are praising her... she's mostly just happy to know her people are welcoming her as a hero indeed! Most the fandom would go "true! what an ungrateful bitch! She should've been happy that Lo and Li complimented her that way!!" Me? I wouldn't say that at all. Not just because I love Azula to pieces? But because the only information we have of Azula's dynamics with these two... doesn't seem compatible with the idea that what Lo and Li are saying here is for AZULA'S benefit.
Anyone who's had a hypocritical parent/caretaker/teacher must have endured awkward, horrible, unpleasant moments where this adult figure treats you like shit in private but in public holds you as this grand example, and a perfect child, and they never seem to stop saying they're soooo proud of you even though you NEVER felt that what they're saying is true. Maybe the first few times, you're naive enough to believe it. By the tenth time of incongruent messages? You start to realize they're talking you up as a way to make themselves look better. They're trying to show they're doing their job at raising you/training you, be it whatever it may. The praises are not FOR you... they're for a third person to hear and think "Oh, this adult's so cool, saying nice things about this kid they're responsible for! Nice!"
... You're starting to get the picture now, I'm sure.
Lo and Li reappear in the Beach. Azula is notably chill, enjoying the ride, talking casually with Ty Lee, telling Zuko to lighten up and to stop taking Ozai's choices personally, right? She seems... content. Relaxed.
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Then, everything changed when Lo and Li attacked.
We don't even see why Azula is making this face at first. But she does it AT ONCE when their ship reaches the dock.
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Who is there indeed...?
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The stars of our post! :') if it isn't our elderly twin ladies... who brought Azula to a very disappoting beach house. And when Azula sees the house in question, she makes THIS face.
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Judge however you may... even Ty Lee is weirded out by the beach house, going by that expression. Zuko and Mai aren't impressed either. But Azula? The look on her face isn't merely disappointment if you ask me... part of it looks a bit like embarrassment too? This isn't at all what she was expecting when she arrived (she has her old beach house for standards, which makes this extra underwhelming, I'm sure). She counts on Lo and Li to provide them with a place to stay, it goes implicit... and then this is what they do. It most likely isn't what she promised the other three in terms of where they'd stay, hence, I'd dare say there's a component of embarrassment here.
Shortly afterwards, we have our well known scene with Azula being utterly unconcerned with Lo and Li's apparent wisdom to the point of yawning over it. This, too, tells you she's just not interested in whatever those two have to say or bring to the table. Then, they show up again at mealtime and I think Azula just ignores them the whole scene.
After this? Lo and Li vanish until the finale. And what do they do in the finale? Why... it's the first time anyone expresses a verbal concern over Azula's wellbeing! Ah! A sign that Lo and Li have SOME affection for Azula! This time, you pesky Azula fans, you CAN'T twist this into a bad thing! For sure!
... Can't we, tho? :')
What IS Azula's reaction to: "We are concerned for your wellbeing"?
"My father asked you to come here and talk to me, didn't he‌? He thinks I can't handle the responsibility of being Fire Lord. But I will be the greatest leader in Fire Nation history."
And here, my friends, is when we have finally hit the jackpot.
Lo and Li could have been Azula's Irohs. She could've had TWO of him! Then you'd say: "hey! Ozai is such a dick he let Azula have two elderly wise ladies guiding her but only gave one old wise dude to Zuko! Rude!" and it would be further proof of Ozai's favoritism of Azula, right?
... But actually?
Lo and Li are no such thing. Lo and Li aren't moral compasses for Azula in the least. Lo and Li are not beacons of wisdom that genuinely help her sort her way through life. Worth noting: THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN THAT WAY. They're not. They're not part of mysterious secret societies, they don't help Azula in any objective, significant, tangible way... there's very much nothing to say they EVER fulfilled the role Iroh did for Zuko. What role, then, were they fulfilling instead?
Why... I think we ought to listen to Azula, shouldn't we?
My take: Lo and Li are OZAI'S STAND-INS.
Someone's going to say "hey why would you assume that when Azula said this in the middle of a breakdown?? Surely she was just DELUSIONAL and PARANOID and ashdgkadhsgkjgh...!"
... Let me counter that one with a fun little analysis excercise:
WHY are Lo and Li Azula's firebending teachers and advisors?
The finale very directly tells us these two are not benders. We could've assumed they were! They're not: Azula's teachers are non-benders.
Has a single person out there ever asked themselves WHY this is the case?
How the hell is Azula, prodigy of the blue fire, epic lightning, cruel and powerful and precise and deadly bending... training under two elderly nonbenders?
Bringing this to a real-life example: do you remember what it was like when you were in P.E. classes and your teacher told you to spend 20 minutes jogging, and if you ever stopped you had to do 20 crunches and then get back to the jogging, and every time you stopped he'd tell you the same thing and you'd want that guy to vanish from the face of the planet? I don't know if that was only my experience, but I rather doubt it.
What did kids typically think/say when that happened?
"I wanna see that old fart doing the same shit he's making us do..."
It's a headcanon indeed to say that this is how Azula must have felt over Lo and Li, but it's VERY likely to be the case. But I'd dare say, in Azula's case, it's even worse because, to put it in another way? It's like taking programming lessons from someone who's never learned a programming language. They'll tell you you're getting things wrong without knowing how to help you get them right because they just DON'T KNOW what you're doing, and are outright INCAPABLE of what you're trying to achieve. They can't offer good guidance based on experience because they have ZERO experience on that subject! And yet they want PERFECTION from you! They expect it!
Lo and Li are these teachers for Azula. We only see them in one scene? And yet everything in the rest of the show suggests that they bring nothing important to the table for Azula, be it professionally, be it personally, be it emotionally... not in any aspect of life.
And this, if you ask me, is why the OG show barely ever brings them into scenes. Why the comics flat-out forgot they existed and even featured people like Sozin and Azulon in Azula's beach hallucinations but NOT the two ladies who looked after her and trained her. Why the live-action didn't even FEATURE them.
And us? The fandom? The fic writers?
I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I READ A FIC THAT HAD LO AND LI INVOLVED IN IT.
I'm not even saying as main characters, I don't even know if that exists, frankly: I mean as minor, or background characters. I have NOT seen those two be used in basically ANY fics I've read. I've scarcely used them in mine! In fact, I PURPOSEFULLY got rid of them early on in Gladiator because I didn't want them to sabotage and get in the way of Azula's progress as a character and I believed they'd do exactly that. They were an obstacle rather than anything useful, so I did away with them and then realized they could still occasionally serve some purpose in certain situations: I even had Azula visit them once and they were actually helpful! Fancy that! But... that's it. That's as far as I could go with them. I can't do MORE with those two because they're not characters one particularly feels compelled to work with.
And from what I've seen? That's the case for everyone.
So, I ask again:
WHY ARE THEY THERE?
WHAT IS THEIR ROLE?
WHAT IS THE POINT OF AZULA HAVING NON-BENDING TEACHERS?
Let's go further and further into logical thinking here, shall we?
Azula is a child. Fourteen years of age at the time she's introduced in the OG show.
Azula has no power over many things around her, particularly, her upbringing. That's in the hands of the adults around her. Her mother, up until she vanished, had some hand in it, then, it all falls to Ozai.
Ozai has been Azula's sole parental figure since Ursa left.
Ozai is the one who would reasonably call the shots regarding Azula's education, as all parents are wont to do... ESPECIALLY when he's a king with absolute power over his children.
... so, Lo and Li? Ozai either gave them the position as Azula's teachers personally, or someone else (Ursa) did, and Ozai either didn't WANT to remove them from the role (cue "Ozai being sentimental over Ursa" theories), or Ozai didn't give a flying fuck about who was training his daughter (cue "Ozai is an abusive dick without a heart or a brain" theories).
Anyone, of course, would likely interject here to say surely Ozai ALSO trained Azula himself because that's what he'd do with his favorite kid, right? See. I don't even disagree with that notion.
BUT IT'S A HEADCANON.
We have zero evidence that Ozai trained her! None! I totally will write that into Azula's backstory in many of my stories, but there's NOTHING in canon to suggest this actually happened and that Ozai was genuinely, actively, frequently involved in her progress as a firebender. Assuming he HAD to be is, still, a headcanon. You can't say that with any more certainty than mine when I say I believe Azula loves spicy foods. Does it seem to be something that would fit with her character? I think so! But if eventually canon goes "AZULA CAN'T STAND SPICY FOODS LOL JOKE'S ON YOU!" I... can't even say a thing about it. People's food tastes aren't reflective of their personalities. They really could do whatever they want in that respect. And that's the case for ANYTHING that isn't part of the show's storytelling or the character backgrounds or any texts we consider canon!
POINT BEING: Ozai, regardless of what you want to headcanon, had Lo and Li as Azula's teachers. HIS FAVORITE CHILD... and her only official instructors are two non-benders. Yang added Kunyo as an old instructor of Azula's when she was young, sure! But Kunyo was sooooo qualified that baby Azula was already kicking his ass. So, for that matter? He doesn't really seem to have been a cornerstone of her firebending development and the only other known teachers for Azula are Lo and Li.
For the last time: Azula's teachers are NON-BENDERS. AS CHOSEN, SANCTIONED, APPROVED AND ACCEPTED BY OZAI.
And with those two remarking on absolutely STUPID stuff like "one hair out of place"? Azula still became the incredible firebender she was.
Cue, now, the irony where Zuko was stuck in the basics 3 years after setting out of the Fire Nation... WITH IROH ACTIVELY SERVING AS HIS MENTOR.
You're not gonna tell me that Lo and Li would EVER be better instructors than Iroh, or are you? Because that makes no sense. Full-stop. Iroh is supposed to be the most profound and complete firebender thorughout the show because he's spiritually enlightened even though I admit I think that's bullshit and he doesn't just teach Zuko how to set things on fire, he actually makes him learn theory and spirituality and his teachings are more profound than just "ONE HAIR OUT OF PLACE".
So.
Banished as he is, disgraced and seen as trash by Ozai, Zuko STILL has a better teacher than Azula does.
... Is this LOGICAL? Is this NORMAL? Does this make SENSE?
If you think Ozai's favoritism of Azula takes the shape of "I'll give you every little thing you ask for, sweetheart, I love you very much, here, have ten million doll houses so you can set them on fire, and all the ponies you ask for and on your next birthday I'll buy you a baby dragon and you'll get your own region of the Fire Nation to govern and a fancy title..."?
Then Lo and Li, unfortunately, are right here to be a HUGE contradiction with your interpretation of Ozai and Azula's relationship.
Azula should have THE BEST teachers. Azula does not. Azula doesn't even LIKE them. Azula is openly shown to dislike them! To be annoyed around them, ANGRY when they're teaching her, she feels they're here to keep tabs on her for her father! In a sense, they're Ozai's SPIES on her! :')
Hence? Ozai's favoritism of Azula MIGHT not be what everyone keeps pretending it is. Maybe Ozai didn't do everything to make Azula get things EASILY... and to be fair? That's not what Zuko said anyway. People interpreted it that way... but that's not REALLY what he says:
"Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. "
Every line in this statement is absolutely questionable and all of it sounds like buuuuullshit to me. This is ZUKO'S perspective. And sorry not sorry, but it's tell-don't-show. People swear by his opinion of Azula and pretend he's absolutely objective about it. He's not.
But "Everything always came easy to her," does not mean "EVERYTHING WAS ALWAYS HANDED OVER TO HER ON A SILVER PLATTER." And yet this is what the fandom has constantly interpreted it as.
Azula might just be a prodigy. Maybe she started out ten steps ahead of her brother: this does not mean she needs no guidance, no training, no help. She's seen training herself over perfectionism in her very second scene of Book 2. And the guidance she gets in order to achieve perfection is actually, objectively, stupid.
This is what Ozai chose for her. This is an OBSTACLE for her growth, just as much as Lo and Li were obstacles for me when I was starting with Gladiator! Azula doesn't have it EASY: she just works herself so damn hard that even shit that should HINDER her does NOT do that. And even when her brother objectively has spent THREE YEARS with an advantage in the shape of being trained by one of the VERY BEST firebenders out there? Azula is still beating Zuko at it. With two non-benders as her teachers.
Where am I going with all this?
To the fact that Lo and Li are overlooked in just about every instance of the fandom.
To the fact that nobody includes them, and their influence on Azula, in their analyses of who Azula is.
I've seen a shitstorm rising over the Netflix characterization of Azula: SHE'S TOO ANGRY, they say. Non-stop. She's sooooo hysterical, all the time! She's just pissed perpetually!
Well. I haven't finished the show yet. But the scenes I've seen Azula in so far? They don't fit the fandom's view of Azula because...
... they're not taking Lo and Li into account.
As usual.
:')
Azula's reactions around Lo and Li being frustration, anger, irritation EVEN in scenes like The Beach, where Azula was FINE until she sees them? That shit is storytelling that went over sooooooo many heads, EVEN MINE! When I saw people going on about how canon Azula is... not insecure? Not angry? Has no frustrations and was only ever smirking 24/7? I... didn't feel that was right. I knew it wasn't right. And when I thought about it hard enough? I realized that one reason why this interpretation of Azula is IMMEDIATELY dismissable is because of Lo and Li: those two constantly made Azula angry. Even if that wasn't their intent, it's nonetheless the effect they'd have on her. And Azula didn't like having them around. She CLEARLY didn't appreciate them the way Zuko does Iroh, for instance! And this could be taken as a flaw on Azula's part... if we EVER saw evidence that these two ladies actually love Azula as a grandchild, or so. If we had any evidence that they actually have cared for her in ways nobody else ever did. If maybe the ones Zuko talks about, upon saying "EVERYONE LOVES AZULA" were these two! And maybe he was jealous of them! Maybe he wanted two old ladies to watch his every move and tell him his every flaw!
... Clearly I'm joking about that last thing, but anyway...
There's nothing to tell us Lo and Li were anything but Ozai's assigned watchdogs to keep control and tabs over Azula. That Azula's immediate reaction upon hearing that someone cares about her is "Oh fuck off, my dad sent you here because he doesn't trust me!" is... telling. It's not just paranoia speaking, even if it sure can be read that way! It's actually Azula's perception of those two, which is 100% supported by what we saw of the twins throughout the show, WHENEVER we did see them: their roles in Azula's life are indeed to keep tabs on her, to keep her under control, to pressure her into perfection, AS OZAI'S AGENTS! Seen this way, it MAKES SENSE for Azula to disregard their concern and immediately assume it's FAKE. She isn't even shown to doubt it, never questions that MAYBE they did care about her! She assumes they don't...
... And considering that, as far as I know, the official concept is that they BOTH LEFT when Azula banished one of them only? That they didn't contest her command, staying to look after her even if she only wanted one? I mean, clearly Azula can't tell them apart, so they could've taken turns: one watches over Azula for 12 hours and the other for the next 12 hours, I don't goddamn know! But they didn't do that. They LEFT. And if they left? It means they don't care remotely as much as they say they do. Not to the point where they'd challenge Azula's orders and help her when they KNOW she's not okay.
And all of this further supports my point.
When we see Azula in the liveaction being angry, bitter, irritable at Ozai's choices?
I see a reflection of the same dynamics that the OG too subtly weaved into Azula's relationship with Lo and Li. I see Azula reacting against Ozai's control over her because she feels it's DISTRUST. She feels it means her father STILL needs to be convinced that she's competent, powerful, ready to do his bidding. It isn't a case where Azula's irritation comes from wanting to rebel against her father... it's Azula wanting her father to UNDERSTAND that she's 100% his supporter and will put everything on the line to serve him and the Fire Nation.
And it's very damn easy to read that exact same thing into Azula's dynamics with Lo and Li as it is to see it EXPLICITLY STATED in the liveaction.
My point?
What the liveaction did is not nearly as much of a distant characterization choice as people think it is.
Ozai is Azula's Achilles' Heel. Everything she became, everything she grew up to be, was for his sake. He molded her to become those things and simply didn't give a shit about raising a daughter, he treated her as a weapon, and absolutely pitted his children against each other, just as much as OTHER adults in their lives did. But the impact of Ozai on Azula in the OG is easy to ignore. Why? Because we SELDOM see them interacting. Because we don't get that side of Azula's character fully explored. Because they didn't want to explore Ozai's character either! They were as cheap as they could be with all these aspects and so, only the people who really got into analyzing things on a deeper level would be able to say, without a doubt, that Ozai abused Azula emotionally with all the expectations and demands he put on his own child. Through the golden child-scapegoat dynamic that people have been bringing up non-stop in the past years.
So, proving herself to her father is what Azula wants to do, more than anything. Proving worthy of his favor, of his approval, is the closest thing she can get to feeling loved. Which is depressing as fuck. Azula gets zero affection: it's not even conditional affection, there's NOTHING for her besides approving words if she gets anything right. And this show's work with Azula's character? It was meant to make these things less invisible to all the fans who like to pretend none of it exists. And yes, I've seen them, crawling all over Twitter shitting themselves in fits of rage because how dare that show pretend Azula EVER had a bad time in her perfect flawless life!!
Well, the irony is that the OG gives you a smidge of evidence -- and yet that's enough -- to show that Ozai was doing very similar things to Azula in ATLA, and her reactions to it?
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Huh. No smirks for Lo and Li.
No smirks for the symbols of Ozai's control over her life.
It's almost like the confidence, the smirks, the apparent ease with which she handles everything? Is a front that crumbles easily whenever it concerns the ONE PERSON with power over her life.
I don't believe, worth noting, that Azula's power comes from rage. I've seen people say that in fandom in the past and I find it a completely absurd take when Iroh himself spells out that her bending is about control, about precision, and it's Azula's FURY that makes her a sloppy mess in the finale. It's even INTENTIONAL that when she shoots lightning a second time, in her second establishing scene, THAT SAME HAIR FALLS OUT OF PLACE. She's still angry. She didn't get it "right" this time either. She's imperfect and she's trying NOT to be, but she cannot succeed. And upon bending lightning with emotions (rage/frustration)? That hair falls YET AGAIN out of place. Proof that she's not going to achieve the perfection she's being FORCED (indeed, by her father and the people who are here to represent him, Lo and Li) to strive for.
The liveaction had Ozai pushing Azula for a perfection she couldn't attain either. She's perfectly content in her cruelty at Ozai's side, right until she hears the Avatar was found and that Zuko has a shot at taking away the privileges she's been basking in so far. That she WASN'T nervous about this in canon is pretty damn obvious: OZAI SENT HER TO HUNT ZUKO DOWN FOR BEING A FAILURE. We never saw her reaction to learning that the Avatar was out and about. We have noooo idea what was canonically going on with her back then. The first time we see her besides the flashback is Azula receiving a mission that tells her she's STILL #1 and Zuko is no threat to her because Ozai thinks he's a failure. Thus? She had nothing to fear. Here? Ozai is actively using Zuko as bait to pressure Azula further. And if you're so confident in Ozai's good parenting skills as to believe he somehow WOULDN'T do that? Sounds like you don't understand the very basic and simplistic Fire Lod Ozai from ATLA, and that's not something to be proud of. So probably stop screaming your bad takes at the top of your lungs, because being incapable of understanding Ozai in canon is not a badge of pride, just saying...
FINAL POINT...
This post is not written expressly in the defense of the liveaction and its characterization of Azula. To this point, what I've seen of it doesn't feel WRONG or OFF unless you're the kind of person who thinks Azula is only capable of smirking and if she stops doing that she stops existing or something. Only people who cannot understand the depth, nuance, subtleties in Azula's story would ever be claiming that Azula's relationship with Ozai COUDLN'T be like this, or that Azula couldn't possibly be frustrated with her father or his choices when it's soooo clear what Ozai is going for, and why it's working. But in order to read Azula as a character capable of this range of emotion, frustration and ambition, all at once? You have to be able to treat this character, be it in the liveaction or the OG show, as a human being.
And that's what most the people criticizing this specific change are determined not to do. It's what makes them uncomfy. It's what rustles their jimmies.
Yes. I'm saying it in this very demeaning way because I actually find it quite ridiculous to be this insecure over the portrayal of a fictional 14yo in two TV shows. Whether the liveaction sticks the landing or fails catastrophically, I do not know... but I do know that if it's forcing a bunch of people to rethink Azula's character, and making them panic at the idea that she could EVER have human emotions, even if they're AWFUL human emotions?
Then I'm afraid you're only convincing me that, as bad as that show could ever get? It's getting SOMETHING right. I do love to see misinterpretations of Azula getting slammed in the face by the reality that all those beliefs, headcanons and takes in bad faith are actively, categorically untrue: none of which makes Azula a fundamentally good person, worth noting! But it makes it very clear that reading her as a one-dimensional basic villain, which is what the anti-Azula-redemption crowd actively does, is literally only possible if you overlook, ignore and fail to understand her character and her complexities, be it in the liveaction or in the original show.
There. I said my piece.
Another post, regarding the rest of the liveaction, is bound to come later. I'd say stay tuned but it might take me a while to write it at all. So... wait around and maybe you'll see it someday!
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visionofvoid · 1 year
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Homewrecker - MV1 Part Two
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Summary: “max, can you tell me the truth, just this once?”
Warnings: angst, moody max, jealous max, jealous kelly lolz 
Pairings: max verstappen x oc
Word Count: 1585
PART ONE  PART THREE 
Blake always enjoyed race weekends. If Kelly was busy with a shoot or meetings, Blake would look after Penelope for a couple of hours and the two would share pink and colourful snacks whilst watching the Formula One, whether it was practice, qualifying or the actual race. When Kelly had a free weekend and was choosing to visit Max and support him from the race itself, Blake would always come along for the ride. Sometimes it would just be the two girls childfree whilst Blake caught up with some of the friends she had made during her time as Kelly’s assistant or she would curate posts for Kelly on her social media. Though she did technically work for Kelly and knew her passwords to all her social media, her emails and some of financial info, it was never as if Kelly was her boss, they were just two friends enjoying life together. 
So, it came as a shock when Blake sat across from Kelly at a cafe and gave her the sad news. 
“I, I don’t understand. Do you need more money? I can give you more money. Did Penelope say something? Did my father say something?” Kelly questioned, making a spoon look elegant as she held it up, a little bit of cake sitting on it. Blake shook her head, smiling softly, thinking of reasons to give her friend and boss that didn’t involve her boyfriend. 
“I enjoy working alongside you, of course I do. I just think it’s time I move on from being a PA. I’ve had a few job offers and you know, I think this partnership has run its course.” Kelly pondered for a moment. “Of course I am absolutely grateful for the opportunity you have given me, but this is officially my notice. I finish up just before Silverstone, so I have about three weeks left to find you a new PA.” Blake couldn’t maintain proper eye contact and instead resorted to lifting her hot chocolate to her lips. 
“Job offers? From who?”
“Toto Wolff, at Mercedes. One of the PR advisors and I were talking at the last race and I just can’t stop thinking about it and it was a great offer.” Kelly’s eyebrows rose as she mentioned Max’s rival team but she remained stoic. 
“If you want a job in Formula One I can get Max to get you one at Red Bull.” The offer was kind but the mention of Max made Blake tighten her shoulders. “But, it is a great opportunity. I’m sad to see you leave, and I know Penelope will miss you too.”
The following months had been hell, that much was true. Whilst Blake was flourishing with Toto and Mercedes, travelling the world and relishing in the Formula One world, Max watched as Kelly’s world was failing. That may be a bit dramatic but the new personal assistant that Kelly had hired was way too under-qualified for the job. Not only did they not connect well with children but they had misplaced their VIP passes that allowed them access into the green rooms. 
It was stressful, and Max hated the fact that he missed Blake. He missed the bickering, he missed when she would bite back with insult after insult but made it sweet and funny that Kelly would laugh. He didn’t get to see Blake as often as he did when she still worked with Kelly and his world felt immensely different. He and Kelly hardly spoke unless it was at night off or one of them had a free day, but it was mostly due to the lack of experience on the new assistant behalf, or so he thought. 
Kelly found herself always comparing her new assistant to Blake and would vent to Max about how much both herself and her daughter missed Blake. Though they ended on good terms, Blake’s new position as Toto Wolff’s assistant meant less time to catch up with Kelly when they were in the same city. 
The 5th of September came around and it was time for the Dutch Grand Prix. Blake had finally settled into her new job as Toto Wolff’s assistant and she found herself getting along with everyone. She was the go to for advice for George and she enjoyed meditating with Lewis during her down time. The job wasn’t nearly as full on as Kelly’s, but she was busy a lot. Rather than watch a child or get a coffee that had fourteen steps, Blake just had to ensure that Toto’s meetings and schedule were all up to date, send emails and get the occasional coffee or lunch which was so much easier. She got paid to travel, paid to be friends with people in a sport she was beginning to love, life and breath and she finally felt as if she belonged. There was no expectation of having to dress a certain way like she did with Kelly, to feel like she fit in. 
Blake walked alongside Toto, going over the timeline for the first half of the day and handing him printouts full of necessary information before her legs became caught in the arms of a certain small child. Blake looked down, beaming at Penelope who just looked up at her with a cheeky smile on her face. She quickly glanced back at Toto, an apologetic look upon her face to which he only shook his head with a faint smile. 
“We don’t start for another hour and you’ve already done so much to ease my day. I’ll meet you there.” Blake nodded, grateful for her new friendly boss and bent down to hug the small growing girl. 
“And where is your mother?” Blake wrapped her arms around Penelope and picked her up. The young girl was dressed in Red Bull Racing merchandise which looked funny in comparison to her Mercedes uniform. 
“With Maxie! I was with Jenna but she was on her phone and I was bored. I missed you.” Blake started walking towards the Red Bull Racing back area where all drivers, team principles and other important people would be for the duration of the weekend when not at the pit. It wasn’t too far away from all the other teams so it took her no time. She showed her passes to security and walked right in. Red Bull colours were everywhere with Max and Sergio’s faces plastered on every free surface. She forgot how much Red Bull idolised their drivers. Back at Mercedes they were much more subtle, though still highlighting the importance of their two star drivers. 
“So, is Jenna the new assistant? Is she nice?” Blake happily listened as Penelope walked about Jenna. She found that she didn’t like to play with Penelope a lot but fed her lots and lots of junk food when on one was watching. It was mildly concerning to Blake and she was about to say something then she rounded the corner, stumbling on a fight that was occurring between Max and Kelly. 
“You need to hire her back. I’ll pay whatever she wants, Jenna is shit at her job!” Max seemed like he was trying to reason more than fight, but Blake knew that when there was some sort of confrontation that Kelly’s first instinct was to raise her voice and fight back. 
“Why? You made her feel insignificant, we all saw that. Why would you want her near you? With Penelope and myself?” Kelly’s eyes were burning into Max’s and Blake felt like she was imposing. Penelope was oblivious to the fight, babbling on about what Blake had missed out on the past couple months. Of course the fight was extremely loud, just enough to hear from a few metres away, plus it was fairly hushed in the building. 
“I never hated her! I-”
“You hate her, you don’t. I don’t understand. Why all the bickering, why all the stares across the room at her, why all the rolling of the eyes? I don’t understand. Make me understand. Max, can you tell me the truth, just this once?” Kelly had a tear fall down her cheek, Blake feeling immensely guilty for both eavesdropping and being the topic of the fight. 
Max’s eyes faltered and he looked to the ground, hoping it could somehow swallow him up and he could avoid this conversation altogether. But this was reality, this was real life and everything was coming back to bite him in the ass. 
“Max, Goddammit! Look at me. Look at me!” Kelly’s voice got louder, this time snapping Penelope out of her one-sided conversation in Blake's arms and looking around for the source of the voice. “Tell me the truth.”
“I don’t hate Blake. I never hated Blake.”
“You love her.” Blake was shocked, she even let out a gasp when Kelly said those words which seemed to make them both snap out of their heated fight. Max looked like a kicked puppy and Kelly’s face was bright red, fuelling with anger. 
“Penelope, there you are.” A woman who Blake could only presume was Jenna rounded the corner, rushing for Penelope and snatching the young girl out of Blake’s arms before anyone could protest.
“You don’t mean that.” Blake filled in the silence, her full attention to Max. “Tell me you don’t mean that. Tell me and Kelly that you hate me, that you hate my guts. Please, tell us anything that isn’t you loving me. You can’t love me, Max, you need to hate me.” 
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thesensteawitch · 7 months
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What Does Akashic Records Have To Say About Your Life Path? 👁️🪻
Pick A Pile Reading
Is your life path aligned with your soul's DNA?
Just grab a chocolate bar as this is going to be a slightly long reading.🪻
🥀Take a deep breath...and choose!🥀
(Left to Right---Pile1, Pile2, Pile3)
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Hello, Senstea Souls! Though this is a collective reading I have tried my best to be as specific as possible. If you want a specific career/life path related reading then just slide into my DMs and ask away.
I have a separate spread with a blend of the Japanese concept of Ikigai. It will narrow down your options by clarifying your passion, profession and vocation in life.
For more information just message me!🌼
Now, feel free to begin the reading.
Pile 1
Hello, my dear pile 1. The reading is divided into three parts. If you find this helpful then do come back and drop a tip in my jar. They are always appreciated!🍁
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Your life path according to your Akashic record
4 of swords, 6 of wands, 5 of wands
It seems that your Akashic record is taking me back in time. Your true life path has a strong connection to the past. I see that you fought battles. The energy is of the competition. Sudden changes, in fact, some kind of shock. There were disputes within your community, whatever you were a part of. You were the star of the group and others wanted to probably take that shine. I don't know why but I see a leg injury. Something deeply bothered you. The pain was so profound that it found its solace deep in your subconscious. Something made you fall sick or bedridden but you got back on your feet again. But the joy did not last long. You had to face more competition. You probably didn't get enough time to contemplate and understand what was really going on around you and among your people. It created a deep wound. Something that you need to deal with in this lifetime. If you ask some very important questions to yourself, especially regarding the relationships with people in your life you may find the answer to the blockage on your life path. I feel some people did not have the best interest for you they just wanted to be with you to be a part of your light. And that created a wound. You thought they truly loved you but perhaps it wasn't true. Your illusions of people had to die. Yes, exactly! What illusions are you living in? The idea of people you have is keeping you in the dark and unless you find the truth the light will not enter your life.
The path that you are currently on
Ace of wands, The Hierophant
I see that people come to you for advice. You have that spark. I have been saying spark, light and even I can see a lion. The king of the jungle. You definitely had an important position in the past and you still do. You may not believe it but your aura still carries that energy and that's why people are so attracted to you and come to you for advice. I also see that you doubt your capabilities. You doubt that you can ever guide yourself. I see two pillars, two polarities. On one side you know that you are a good listener but on the other hand, you still don't feel very convinced about your capabilities. Somewhere you are carrying the lesson of your past life, which is good, but it has broken your confidence in people and that's why it may be difficult for you to trust them. Others know that they can rely on you but you can't rely on them completely. That hurts. It also lowers your self-esteem. It may give rise to people people-pleasing attitude. Basically, no strong boundaries. I also see that great ideas come to you. You can be an advisor or a counselor. But you need to have strong boundaries and allow yourself to be somebody out of your community. You are your own person. You need to move out of your comfort zone and talk to people out of your circle too. People will let you down, expect that from them. But you also need to know that some people won't. Some may surprise you with their generosity. I also see that someone admires you. Isn't that beautiful? And you may have no idea about it. You're not wishing hard enough to finally let the physical manifestation of your dreams come to you. You have a significant purpose in this lifetime which is linked to guiding others.
How can you align your path with your soul's DNA?
5 of pentacles, 9 of wands
Trust. That's what I hear. Whatever personal matter you have dealt with in the past (in this lifetime or the other) will soon come to an end. But first, you need to let yourself truly feel and see where are they arising from. Please don't drown in your tears. But honor them. They help you release the hurt. Hope is in your cards. Don't be afraid. You're afraid of something you have no idea about. But the feeling of fear is definitely there. I do see that you have been putting in a lot of physical and mental effort but things did not turn out to be as you thought they would. You're afraid that your dreams will never come true. But the authority and love you aim for has already happened to you. So why not again? The answer is that first, you need to heal some relationship dynamics along with your own heart. Value your heart. I feel the weather in your heart has either been too cold or burning like fire. Give yourself time. Virtue lies in the middle. Find balance. Allow yourself to visualize that you can live a normal and happy life without the crazy extremes. I see that in your life it has been a matter of work, money, and words. Whenever a challenge comes to you say thank you to the divine. It helps you clear your karma so that you can live a stable and peaceful life. Everything is happening for your soul. Please take care of your health and keep moving forward. If something isn't working please release it. You do not need to cling to an idea so much. You can channel another from the divine. It's simple, just ask. Also, don't ask, “What were you made for?” Ask, “What were you made of?” I am sure the answer will come from the stars and they will tell you that you were the brightest among all. It's time that you remember who you were. It's not about what you can do, it's about who you are.
Pile 2
Hello, my dear pile 2. The reading is divided into three parts. If you find this helpful then do come back and drop a tip in my jar. They are always appreciated!🍁
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Your life path according to your Akashic record
The Chariot, 6 of pentacles
Your life's purpose in the Akashic record has something to do with the yin-yang concept. I hear that this may sound absurd to some of you but what I am about to say is the truth. Your true life path is leading you to break some attachments and start this new journey of serving others with a heart full of love and generosity. I also see that the more you become self-aware the easier it will be for you to understand others and do something of value for them. It's about balancing the scales. Now if you are wondering what if you won't get successful after doing what I said then know that success is written in your stars and will chase you once you align with your life's path. You will be victorious. In life, you will be carrying the sweet and bitter moments with you. The path that you are on is all about YOU. What I mean by that is understanding your feelings. Why you do what you do and how can you change it. Face the truth of life head-on. You have to be a fair rider on your life path. The life path in your Akashic records is pretty rare. By rare I mean the portal that opens once in a while. You need to prepare yourself for that day when the veil is thinner and you can finally enter the new phase of your life.
The path that you are currently on
2 of wands, 7 of cups, 7 of swords
Okay, so what I see on the path that you have chosen or are currently on are options, instability, confusion, indecision, deceiving oneself, and trying to take the shortcut. Currently, I see that the desires and so many wishes that you have seem impossible for you to achieve. You start a plan but you aren't able to execute it and dilemma always hangs around with you. It's an everyday struggle in your life but it is impacting the bigger purpose you have for yourself in your Akashic record. You are supposed to make a choice here. Unless you choose nothing in your life will move. Life may seem stagnant. And to add some movement in your day-to-day life you may fool yourself by finding more and more interests and adding them to your list. Just so you can make another plan and then another and then another. Then one day you see the list of your desires in which some are still exciting to you and some feel like they have lost their spark. And you don't even get the time to question what is it exactly you want to do and what is stopping you from doing it. It's like you want to travel the world but you just waste all your time in adding cities to your bucket list and making the itinerary for each one of them and end up getting overwhelmed. Gosh! That's exhausting. The Universe is trying to send you signs but because of your confused mind, you are not sure of the signs. Please take this reading as a sign at least and take action. Also, before taking action you need to heal yourself. Make sure you have a PLAN for that. I see you're very good at planning. Make a task table where you can add the exercises that suit you, hobbies that relax your mind, and food that you must eat to keep your mind and body healthy. It's not that difficult. Don't try to just keep adding to the list. Start small. But do take the action in whichever area of your life it is required.
How can you align your path with your soul's DNA?
4 of cups, 10 of swords
Your advice is very clear, pile 2. The Akashic records are asking you to surrender to the divine. Which means to have faith. Please stop worrying. Stop being in your head so much. Look around, there's a once-in-blue-moon opportunity coming your way. Do not miss it. You're ignoring the signs of the divine. Some of you may or already be exhausted. You have been SO MUCH in your head. The only good thing here for you to know is that it's all in your head. I am so sorry I also feel that some of you really do feel trapped. You may have lost hope and wondering if there's even any path carved for you. Believe me, there is. I CAN SEE THAT. And it's honorable and beautiful. It's heartwarming. Whatever you have been going through may be very difficult but soon it will come to an end. All you need to do is turn one stone at a time and take it slow. You don't need to rush. You just need to move in the right direction with faith in your heart. You were not sent here only to suffer. There is purpose in pain and you are serving it. But it's still in your hands to show strength and come out of it.
Pile 3
Hello, my dear pile 3. The reading is divided into three parts. If you find this helpful then do come back and drop a tip in my jar. They are always appreciated!🍁
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Your life path according to your Akashic record
8 of cups, 2 of swords
In your Akashic record, I see that there's a big hurdle on your life path. And that is related to something you do not want to see because you're so afraid of either commitment or detachment. What you need to know here is that this situation won't change until you make the move. I see that emotions are involved in certain situations. Though they break your heart you are trying to protect it by giving excuses for others. But I think these are the excuses you are giving yourself for not loving yourself enough. You have balanced things pretty well but still, something feels incomplete. I think it's about detachment. Yes, it is. You need to break a toxic cycle but unfortunately, you are not ready to accept it. Until you open your eyes to the truth you won't be able to see what's really going on in the background. You're blindly following someone or something. Blind faith is no better than having no faith. I feel that you have strong Cancer or Libra placements. God this has to do with relationships in your life. Hmm...I feel there's a pattern that you have been repeating only because you are refusing to open your eyes. You want to believe that the sun hasn't risen yet by keeping your eyes closed. But that doesn't change the fact. This repeating pattern in your life is a blockage in your life to finally widen your horizons. You need to claim your space in the society. That's your purpose. That's your life path. TAKE YOUR SPACE! AND DON'T BE SORRY ABOUT IT.
The path that you are currently on
10 of pentacles, 6 of swords
Ahhh, my dear pile 3. I feel you're not who others in your community, friend circle or family think you are. You are playing a role for them. You are just trying to fit in when you were born to stand out. You are afraid to express who you truly are. It seems that everything is balanced in your life but it isn't. The issue is not financial here. The issue has something to do with self-worth. Some of you may be asked to move out of your home or change cities. You may need to leave some loved ones behind which is breaking your heart into pieces. You can't give up on the change. I mean let it happen. You have become too dependent on your surroundings which is fading your shine. You may think that you are not dependent on them but you are because when the thought of letting go comes it breaks your heart. But here is a message for you, that your guiding angels and the people who truly love you will always be with you. Someone close to you may be moving with you too. If you suffer they suffer too. If you're happy they are happy too. When you take the leap of faith you will find yourself in a much more abundant state. It's your mind which can't foresee that you are moving towards happy days. Believe me, you're going to be so blessed if you just move out of your comfort zone and take the first step towards your success/happy days.
How can you align your path with your soul's DNA?
3 of pentacles, The Fool, 3 of wands
Okay, pile 3. I feel there is someone involved here. It may be a business partner or a life partner. I see that you two are working on something but there's some help you need to move on with your project. You can't do it alone. The good news is that you're not even alone. Someone is guiding you here. And I see travel for you guys. I would highly recommend you take the help or advice of a specialist and not a random friend or just anybody who has no idea about the subject. Because as soon as you take the guidance you will be able to move one step ahead in your planning and finally you'll be moving for work or something else with hope and a detailed plan. This will be the beginning of your life path. You are still writing your journey. Please take help from an expert and begin this journey guys. I see so much hope and optimism for you in the future. You are being guided and will be guided every step of the way. Just ask for it in your time of need. You can't look back and let yourself settle in the old environment. For you, the growth lies ahead. Your true path is just about to begin as soon as you let the change happen with the right guidance and confidence in yourself. The goal may be unconventional but it's yours. Claim it. Be in love with it.
Thank you everyone for reading this blog and also for reblogging!🥀🩷
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peterman-spideyparker · 11 months
Text
Horses and Zebras (College!Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader)
Author’s Note: I wrote this a bit ago with the intention of having this be smutty, but what I was coming up with just didn’t feel right, so I pivoted and turned it into this. I wanted to use a gif of college Matt but this one popped up, and I will never not use a gif of Tristan Thorn if given the chance and I’m also sorry for the sucky title. It might have a second part, but that’s TBD. Enjoy! :)
Summary: You’re in the medical program at Columbia, but you have some space in your schedule to take an elective, so you opt for a health policy and law class. What you don’t expect is meeting a handsome, blind law student.
Warnings: Fluff, flirting, medical jargon, angst (mentions of death, medical diseases), swearing
Other Characters: Foggy Nelson
Word Count: 2,184
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“Is this seat taken?” you hear a smooth, deep voice ask to your right as you take out your notebook and pencil case.
“It’s up for grabs,” you say with a smile as you turn to look at the asker. You feel your cheeks burn hot when you see the handsome man with brown hair, navy sweater, and sunglasses standing with a soft smile. He shifts the cane in his hands as he puts his bag down and begins unpacking his things. “I’m (Y/N), by the way.”
“Matt,” he returns as he settles. “Are you a 2L or a 3L?”
“I’m actually a med student—year and a half left.”
His thick eyebrows scrunch and his lips turn into a confused frown. “They’re letting a med student take a law class?”
“Well, it’s a health law and policy class. I’ve taken some summer courses to get ahead, and my advisor vouched for me. I figured if I’m going to be a doctor, I should try to help them and advocate for them as much as I can. Even if I know a little of it, I hope it would be a big help for some patients.”
“Wow,” he says softly. “You don’t really meet people that think like that.”
“Tell me about it. There’s this guy in my class, right? Stephen. He’s thinks he’s a real hot-shot surgical godsend, when really he’s just an egomaniac that always has to be the one holding the knife.”
“Sounds like a real dick,” he says with a sympathetic pout.
“There’s always people like that in any profession, I guess. Any people like that come to mind in the law program? Or am I talking to one?”
“I guess it depends on who you ask.”
“Mm,” you hum with a little smirk. “Sounds like a yes for the second to me.”
Matt smiles and licks his lips. It looks like he is just about to say something else when the professor walks in with her briefcase.
“Good morning and welcome to Intro to Health Law Advocacy. Now, we will be starting with medical ethics, and from there, segue into medical malpractice—which is slightly askew from the way it’s organized in the book. If you’ll open your textbooks to chapter eight . . .”
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“How are you not worried about this exam?” Matt asks, flipping through his notes on his bed, taking off his glasses and putting them to the side, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Well, so far, I’m already familiar with these things,” you sigh as you turn on the chair at his desk. “We covered them the first or second year of the med program. I really haven’t learned anything new that will help me as a doctor. This class isn’t what I thought it would be, and I’m starting to think that’s why they let a med student take a law class.”
“So, what exactly are you studying right now, then?”
“Advanced abdominal and reproductive anatomy and diseases.”
“Ew,” he grimaces.
“Eh, it’s not bad. Some of my friends and I have done the ‘What’s my disease?’ game with all the symptoms and stuff, it’s just making sure I get these muscles right.” 
“How can I help?”
You lightly scoff. “Matthew, are you trying to get out of studying?”
“I would never,” he says in mock offense, a wry smirk almost immediately pulling at his lips. 
“It’s good you’re practicing your lying now,” you laugh as you move to make a highlight in your notes. “You really wouldn’t want something that bad presented in court.”
“Seriously, though,” he offers after he stops laughing. “I need a bit of a study break, honestly. How can I help you?”
“You could always just sit there and tell me how pretty I am.”
“(Y/N).”
“Matt, I appreciate it, but I don’t know if you can. Unless you want to be a live model, that is.”
“How so?”
You sigh, regretting even having brought it up. “It’s one thing to read it and look at diagrams, but it’s another thing to actually do it on a person.”
“Okay. So,” Matt draws out, putting a tab in his book. “I could lie down, and you’d poke and prod and tell me what you’d feel if I was a patient with one of the things in your book?”
“Yeah, I guess. Would you be comfortable with that?”
Matt nods. “I need a break from these laws—my fingers can’t take it anymore.”
“Alright, then.”
You know to do this, Matt would have to take his shirt off, but you’re not quite prepared for when he does. You can tell that Matt is in shape just by looking at him, but seeing how sculpted he is, the defined dips and curves of his muscles on his taut and smooth skin, you’re not prepared for how your mouth waters. Laying down on the twin bed, he lifts his arms, folding his hands behind his head, resting all nonchalantly with a cocky smirk on his lips.
“You alright there, doctor?” he asks, shifting ever so slightly and making his muscles flex.
“I’m not a doctor yet, Matty,” you tell him, grabbing your notes before you get up.
“You don’t need those.”
“How do you expect me to tell you which uncommon disease that you fictionally have when I poke you in certain places? It’s not like you know the symptoms.”
“You use your memory, sweetheart, that’s how.”
Your cheeks burn hot at the nickname, but it’s enough to convince you to put down your notes. 
“Okay,” you start, moving forward as you retie your ponytail. “Let me start with something easy just to get going. Appendicitis. Appendix becomes inflamed from infection and fills with pus. Pain is caused in the lower right abdomen, usually starting right around here.” You apply light pressure near his belly button on his rock hard abs. How does he have abs this great? “Pain will lessen the pressure is applied, but will get worse when my fingers get removed.” I mimic my motion with my words.
“Ow, it hurts really bad,” Matt adds for effect with a pout, making you giggle. “Doc, you gotta help me.”
“Well, you don’t have a fever,” you play along, feeling his forehead with the back of your hand. “Not nauseous, either. Could just be gas. But, if you do later on, it hurts when you cough, walk, or laugh, and the pain shifts here and your abdomen becomes rigid—,” you continue, moving your fingers lower, “—that’s then we have an issue. An ultrasound will confirm it’s an appendicitis.”
“Easy enough.” Matt’s tone is cool, but the blush on his chest, neck, and cheeks say otherwise. “What’s one of the rarer ones?”
“Well, that’d be something like Hirschsprung’s disease. It’s when there’s a lack of nerve cell bodies in part of the bowel. People are born with it, but it might not develop until later in life. Pain can present anywhere.”
“Well, that doesn’t make diagnosis sound easy.”
“It’s not as common. One of the first things you’re told is to look for horses not zebras; what someone might thinks is uncommon is actually something common presenting differently.”
“Then what happens when it’s actually uncommon?”
“People end up going to multiple doctors,” you sigh. “Or, they realize it’s uncommon when it’s too late. And the sad thing is, it happens—it happens a lot more to female patients than male patients because . . . fuck, I don’t know, people think women are weak.”
“You sound like you’re talking from experience.”
“Cuz I am.” You sit down on the edge of the mattress, your shoulders slumping forward as you hang your head. “One of my closest friends in high school, she was so incredibly fit and healthy, but she hadn’t been feeling right. One doctor said it was the flu, a physician’s assistant said it was PMS, another said it might be something carcinogenic. Then one day our senior year when she was at home, she just collapsed. After a week, they figured out it was a neurological disease. It ran in her family, but it hadn’t manifested in anyone. And by the end of that week, she was gone.”
“(Y/N), I’m so sorry,” Matt says softly, sitting up and putting his hand on yours.
“I’m so afraid of turning into one of those doctors,” you breathe quietly. “I don’t want to worry anyone for no reason, to put them through unnecessary tests that insurance might not cover and they might not be able to afford. But I’m so worried that one day, I’m just going to convince myself that one of those zebras is a horse, and then someone else will lose their best friend.”
“We haven’t known each other for long, but I like to think that in the semester I’ve known you, I’ve gotten to know you well. So I know that when you become a doctor, you will treat every one of your patients with respect, kindness, and compassion. You’ll listen to them and their concerns, and do the absolute best to give them the care they need. If you think there’s a zebra in the room, I know you’ll trust your gut and approach it in the right way. It’s not gonna be easy, and it won’t be without its difficult times, but I have every last faith in you and your abilities.”
“I don’t think you know how much that means to me to hear,” you admit, your voice thick with emotion. “You really are going to be a great lawyer, Matt. And I’m not just saying that. A lot of the same nice things you just said about me apply to you, though. You’re kind, compassionate, and you just want to help. There’s nothing more admirable than that.”
You feel electricity move across your skin when he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. Your noses touch before you tilt your heads to the side so they slot better together, your lips millimeters apart before the door to his dorm opens.
“Guess who just got a date with Marci!” Foggy cheers triumphantly as he comes into the room, stuttering to a halt when he registers how you and Matt slide away from one another. “Sorry, I di—.”
“No—,” you start.
“Fog, we—,” Matt says over you.
“I should get going, anyways,” you say as you stand to gather your things. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow, Matt.”
“I’ll see you,” he says softly. “Text me when you get back to your dorm safe.”
“Will do. Night.”
As soon as you close the door to their room, you can immediately hear Foggy start profusely apologizing.
“Dude, I didn’t know! I’m so sorry—,” he starts.
“Fog, keep your voice down!” Matt hushes him urgently. “She can hear you!”
“She’s probably all the way down the hall at this point. Is that the hot med student you’ve been telling me about?”
“Fog—!”
“Don’t pull that ‘How would I know they’re hot’ shit—you always find the prettiest girls and ensnare them in your Murdock charm.”
You can’t help but giggle as you walk down the hall and start back to your place. So . . . Matt has talked about you to Foggy. You guess you can tick that off of your curiosity list. You wonder what exactly he’s told his best friend about. You’re so lost in thought and reliant on muscle memory that you don’t realize you’re back in your place until you slump your bag off your shoulders and it hits the floor. Pulling out your phone, you lean against the door and begin to text Matt.
“Your hot med student friend is safe in her dorm,” you type, grinning like an idiot as you bite your lip.
It takes him a little bit to respond.
“I’m glad,” he says with a little smiley face emoji. Another text bubbles before it disappears, reappears, and I have a new text on my screen. “I’m sorry for what Foggy said.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“So you did hear it. Eavesdropper ;).”
“I heard enough of it.”
You grow nervous when he doesn’t text back right away. In an effort to shake off the discomfort at the potential crater you might just have carved into your friendship, you change into your pajamas and grab what you need to start studying for you other classes. Just as you get in the right study spot, your phone buzzes to life with a text.
“You’re not mad?” it reads. 
“At you? Impossible.” Your finger hovers over the send button, wondering if it would push the envelope too much for the night, but then you remember the initial text you sent over, getting enough courage to click down on the blue circle with the arrow. “If you need me for anything, I’m just a text away.”
“Good to know. There’s no way I’m making it through this without you.”
Does . . . Does he mean the test? The class? He is too flirty for his own good. But you know one thing for sure: you have a big, fat, undeniable crush on Matt Murdock.
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blingblong55 · 8 months
Text
Blood- John Price NSFW
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Based on a request:
Can I make a request of Mafia AU with a hint of enemy to lovers and smut please? Mafia King Price x Mafia Queen Fem reader, who are rivals. Both tend tends to rile each other up whenever they have a mafia council meeting and everybody can sense the sexual tension between them. Thank you !! ❤️❤️🫶🏻
F!Reader, mafia au, enemies to lovers?, mafia queen!reader, smut, 18+, mafia king!Price, rivals, sexual tension, P-in-V, unprotected sex
"R/N, the meeting will begin in twenty minutes." Your brother said. You found it absurd, having to go to meetings with people like John Price, who gave a shit if everyone wanted a treaty. He messed with your family and for that, he will pay. "I'll be there, okay?" You say, not looking at him once but rather out the window of your penthouse, the city living a normal life, whilst you and a handful of mafias would decide to either join the other or let hell loose.
In the meeting, Price sat there, other leaders and advisors near. Suspension at its highest. Price and your family have been rivals for decades, never letting the other rest, blaming killings and failed cargo on the other. You walk into the room, heels filling the void the silence had created. The men all stop and look at you, Price rolls his eyes, "Of course, you had to make an entrance."
"Quit talking, John." You do not once look at him. Everyone leaves the room, only those that had to converse stayed behind. From Mexico, Italy, the U.S.A, Brazil, Russia, England and Asia, all gathered and ready to talk. You never trusted Price, he is a narcissist and a horrible liar. Always talking shit but you always brought hell upon him. "Let's start, so, Russia and Mexico, I see you two want to become friends, what's the reason behind that?"
"Ayuda commercial de nuestra mercancia," the man spoke.
"It will benefit not just us but you, R/N" the other Russian man spoke, earning a nod from you. The meeting went smoothly, except for when the reason for the meeting was brought up. "Now, what about us all joining forces?" The asian man spoke, you look at him, waiting for someone to say a word. Except, in this, you were the key to either make all mafias strong or make them crumble. "Well,I wouldn't oppose to it, except, I don't think I would want to work with John."
"You know damn well it wasn't my fault!" His fist coming into contact with the table. The other men don't dare question you and your motives for not working with him. "You know damn well it was your fault!" You growl. "It was never the intention of my father-" he tries to excuse the issue. "My father and mother are dead John! All because your family was petty and shady over work!" You bite back.
The men around the room stay silent, tension fills the room. "Now, if we make this deal, I will need either all to side with me and together our groups will be powerful or I'll make sure each one crumbles to its ruin." You lean back in your seat, knowing you had the upper hand in this. John scoffs and leans back, watching the men that he was having drinks with last night side with the woman he despises. Common friends, common hatred. What a perfect match made in hell.
"We, will make that partnership, R/N, but you must ensure those feud you two have will intervene with our plans." The asian man says. "I'll make sure of that, now if you excuse me I must go." You stand up and the other men do too, they all shake your hand except Price. You nod and walk away, your team waiting for you on the other side of the door. Hours later, your brother walks into your beautiful home, "R/N, what the fuck did you do at that meeting?!" He was clearly annoyed at something you had no clue on.
Eventually he explains that the other mafias have parted ways with Price and have only made an alliance/treaty with you and each other. You were unaware of this, making sure to contact them all and set the record straight. Price walks into your home, pushing past guards and eventually finding your office. "R/N, we must talk."
You nod at your brother and he leaves. "What is it?" you sit down and pour yourself a glass of scotch. "Why the fuck did you leave me and my people in the shadows! We had a goddamn agreement, we stop the feud and make his arrangement." He leaned forward in his seat, veins becoming prominent and his voice hoarse. "I told you years ago John, I will not let you rest, not after their deaths!"
"THEY ARE FUCKING DEAD, THIS IS OUR FUCKING PROBLEM NOW, US NOT THEIRS!"
"Your father killed my parents, put them on display at my 20th birthday, my dead fucking parents for all to see!" You stand up and look at him, "If you want feud between our people and the arrangement to also have you added, then you apologise and accept my terms."
But that wasn't easy on him, he'd had to give up the western border, 63% of the income from the easter border would go to your people and he'd have merge your and his people, something that made you still the head of command. All of what his grandfather worked for down the drain for you to own and have, he sighs and looked at your hips then lips. You drink the scotch, unaware of the stare he was giving you. "You look hot when you're mad." he comments. You roll your eyes and point at the door, "out."
Days after that encounter, one of your corporation buildings was attacked, Price got the news seconds before his plane took off, he stopped the pilot and was escorted to the building. You were talking with your men when you spotted him, "Did you fucking do this?" you accused him as you walked to him. But that was the thing, he wouldn't do this, he was a grown man who knows the best way to fix issues is to talk. "R/N, don't you think I'd be a dick move if I did so? For fucks sake, we are about to be the largest mafia in the country, I don't want to ruin our stuff."
He noticed a blood stain on your shirt, "what happened?" he held your arm, looking at the stain. "Nothing." you answer. "C'mon, let's go." He dragged you to his car, told the driver to get off and you and him were on the way to his private home. "Why are you doing this, John?" You turn to him. "I am not going to give a reason but I will make sure you get checked out for any potential injuries." His eyes on the road the whole time.
Once at his home and after he made sure you had no injuries, he sat you down, "Look, I know we don't have the best history-"
"Damn right we don't." you cut him off.
"-but I wouldn't do that, not to you." he finished.
You stay silent, his hands at your hips, gaze fixed on you. "I'll find the bastard that did that and kill him." it was not just because of the building but because your life was a risk and lately he hated how much he has been looking out for you. Why does he care? Because for some reason, he wouldnt want you to be hurt. The day you parents' dead bodies were displayed as an act of vengeance from his father, he was the one who cut the lights off, making his guards escort the bodies elsewhere.
You have been so filled with hatred and the thirst for revenge that you have been blind to not notice all the small acts of kindness he has done for you. "Dad, you didn't have to do that!" he told his father. "They deserved it." his father responds. "Maybe, but it was her birthday dinner, you have set war on, you killed her parents and you paraded their dead bodies for not just her but everyone to see!"
Years later, Price still hates that day, how her saw you change from a happy and free woman to who you are today. If only things were different, he and you would be off into an arranged marriage and he would enjoy it. All along, he has felt something for you that no one else can compare.
"R/N," his hands tracing circling on your hips, you look at him, both of you leaning in. "I have been wanting to do this since we were young." he cups your face and kisses you. It was so gentle and sweet, like a first kiss that will be felt for years to come. It wasn't John Price in that kiss, it was Johnny, the boy you had a crush on as a little girl. Your legs wrapped around his waist, he holds you close, carrying you to his room and not once breaking the kiss.
He lays you on the bed, kissing your neck, pulling your shirt. Hands on your chest, letting them feed on your warmth. He nibbles on the soft skin, earning a satisfied noise from you. By some point and some laughter, your clothes is on the floor. He wanted this moment to be more than special. He parted your legs, fingers teasing your wet cunt, his spit mixing with your cunt, making his scent known. He looks up at you, flushed face as if he was your first. His kisses trail back up, making sure to be delicate.
Slowly, he slides himself into you, you moan and grip his back. "fuck," you say before he hushes you. "Just relax and open for me okay, love?" His voice so soft. You nod and moan more as he slowly increases the speed of his thrusts. Getting used to his size was not an easy task, he was bigger and thicker than any of the other men you've been with. You shut your eyes and let the passion, lust and pleasure fill the room. He kisses your lips, tongue encoring your mouth, wanting to not leave a corner of his new heaven untouched. He bites into your neck but not enough that he breaks the skin.
A hand on his back as the other grips the sheets. You moans become louder, his hips thrusting faster, his cock deeper in you. Pre cum leaking from him, he wants to last longer but as his fantasy is being fulfilled it's impossible to last long. His thrusts become more aggressive, skin contact echoing on the walls of the room. Scratch marks on his back to prove that what you two have is better than any relationship he has ever had. You might be his enemy but in that moment you are the drug to keep him alive.
Moans and groans from you both, letting the walls understand it's not a cat fight but rather a pleasure. Hours of pleasure turned to you leaking him warm cum from you. He smiles and looks at you, "you are such a good girl for me, look at that." he touches the cum with his fingers and brings it to you, making you lick it. His fingers in your mouth, making you savour such taste. You smile and kiss him.
Soon after the once rivals, wanting the other dead, now lay in bed, making plans for the long run. From kids to adults, enemies to lovers, friends to husband and wife. It is known you are the perfect match made in hell.
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