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hookedonapirate · 4 years

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The Princess and Her Sultan

Thank you @itsfabianadocarmo for the beautiful graphic!

Summary: Crown princess Emma of Misthaven is second in line to the throne, her brother Leopold ll being the first, but her parents see her with a future as a great ruler. King Rumpelstiltskin of neighboring land, strikes a deal with King David, promising to uphold the peace between the kingdoms if Emma marries Prince Baelfire. With the promise of his daughter becoming future queen of the Dark Kingdom, David accepts reluctantly.

Before her wedding day, the princess is kidnapped and taken overseas. She is sold as a slave to a palace where Crown Prince Killian of Neverland ascends his father’s throne and is sworn in as Sultan. Meanwhile, Killian’s mother pressures him to sire a prince and presents him with gifts for his birthday, one of them including a blonde princess from Misthaven. Dazzled by Emma’s charm, intelligence and beauty, he summons her to his bedchamber every night and eventually finds himself casting aside his harem and centuries of tradition.

A/N: We're back. Finally! I had to work out a bunch of things for this story and ended up changing some things thanks to @onceuponaprincessworld (and her historical knowledge) when she pointed out something I hadn’t considered before. Be prepared for the loss of some minor characters (not by death) over the next couple of chapters or so, and a possible gain of some new ones.

Thank you @gingerchangeling for your wonderful suggestions and ideas for this story, and also @ilovemesomekillianjones for gifting me with your wonderful editing skills. I also want to give a shout out to @onceuponaprincessworld for being my sounding board, constant cheerleader and good friend, thank you, darling! This story wouldn’t be the same without these lovely ladies!

Thank you @ultraluckycatnd for looking this chapter over!

Thank you, everyone, for sticking with this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter. And be aware, this story has taken a fluffy turn! ;)

EDIT: Just to clarify, the last two scenes are at least 6 weeks later. In case I didn't make it clear in the chapter, Emma is ready, I promise you.

Rated: Explicit

AO3 l FF.N I Prologue l Ch 1 l Ch 2 l Ch 3 l Ch 4 l Ch 5 l Ch 6 l Ch 7 l Ch 8 l Ch 9 I Ch 10 I Ch 11 I Ch 12 I Ch 13 l Ch 14 l BTS

Chapter 15

Emma is lulled to sleep with only the blithe thoughts of giving birth to the Sultan’s son. Their son. Holding him in her arms, gazing upon him in wonderment, softly caressing his cheek with her thumb. Her heart is full, and she couldn’t possibly be happier. Well, she could if her parents and brother were here to meet Prince Liam. But she is confident she will reunite with them someday. She will make it happen.

Waking that afternoon, she forgets briefly of giving birth that morning. But when her hand migrates to her belly, which is much flatter than it was only yesterday, a sudden feeling of loss rushes through her upon realizing her baby is no longer in her womb. Nor is her baby in her arms. Panic bubbles up inside her when she realizes Liam's not in her arms, and her eyes flip open as she searches the room with heavy-lidded eyes. The warm, radiant sun almost blinds her as it pours into her apartment, a vast contrast to the stormy weather that had cast over Neverland early that morning.

Relief instantly swarms her heart once she spots the cradle next to her bed, and her little prince sleeping soundly, his tiny hands curled into fists on either side of his head. Emma manages a drowsy smile as she watches him sleep. It still amazes her how handsome he is, not that it should. He has the genes of a Neverland Sultan. Emma had seen paintings of the former Sultans. Killian’s father, grandfather, great grandfather, great-great-grandfather and so forth. He comes from a long line of handsome, masculine men, tall with dark hair and those drowning, sea-blue eyes. Those were the signature traits passed down through the generations of Neverland Sultans. And now to her son.

Emma watches Liam sleeping from where she lies on the bed, not wishing to disturb him. He's had much excitement this morning with visitors skittering in and out of her chamber to swoon over him and congratulate Emma on the safe delivery of her child, bearing gifts and food and beautiful flowers in jewel-studded pots.

After a few blissful moments of staring at her son in silence, hot tears stinging her eyes—joyful tears—Liam stirs in his cradle and cries. Maternal instincts overcome her, and she wants to push herself up and hurry to her baby, but her body is sore and she’s still feeling cramps, which her midwife has informed her is normal after delivery.

“Don’t even think about moving, my love.”

Killian’s voice startles her, and she whirls her head around to see her Sultan getting up from the divan, his hair disheveled, eyes glazed over with sleep. He'd stayed in her chamber while she and Liam had slept.

He hurries over and carefully picks up his son, cradling him against his chest with a hand splayed on his newborn's little back and dropping a kiss on his head. Liam’s wails grow in volume and intensity, breaking Emma’s heart in two as she watches his features crinkle in distress.

A low chuckle escapes Killian’s throat as he strides over to Emma’s bedside, rocking Liam gently in his arms. “I believe Prince Liam is hungry.” He strokes his son’s hair, whispering, “No worries, little lad, your mum is right here,” before transferring Liam to Emma’s arms. He sits on the bed next to her and reclines back, careful not to disturb his son as Liam eagerly awaits his meal.

When she places him at her breast, he easily latches on. During his first feeding fresh from the womb, he did this instinctively, something she and Killian had joked about as she fumbled to hold him.

Emma laughs as she watches her son in wonderment. “You were right, he was hungry.”

Killian wraps an arm around her shoulders, kissing her temple. “And you, my love, were right about our baby being a boy.”

Emma nods. “It matters not though. He is perfectly healthy, and that's all I care about.”

“Me too, love,” he beams, placing a kiss on her forehead. “Me too.”

When Emma lifts her gaze, her heart flutters as she sees the enchanting look in Killian’s eyes from watching his wife feed their son. They exchange doe-eyed looks and warm smiles as they listen to their baby suckling happily.

There’s a knock on the door, and Emma permits the visitor into the chamber. It’s Elsa, appearing apologetic when she sees Killian with her.

“My apologies, my lady, I didn't mean to interrupt. I could hear the prince crying and wanted to ensure you were awake.”

“Thank you, Elsa,” Emma says, lifting her head to look at her. “I woke just before he did.”

She beams. “Must be a Mother's intuition that woke you.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Emma chuckles lightly.

“May I get you anything?”

Emma shakes her head. “No, I am fine.”

She looks at Killian, asking him the same.

Killian dons a big smile as he gazes at his wife and son. “No, I have everything I need right here with me.”

Elsa smiles and blushes. “Of course, Your Majesty.” With that, she bows and backs out of the chamber, closing the doors behind her.

After Elsa takes her leave, Emma slides her attention to Liam. “It will never cease to amaze me how beautiful he is.” Her eyes are trained on her son, but she can sense her husband's big, toothy grin; she can hear it when he speaks.

“Ah, so you can understand how I feel whenever I look at you, my love.”

Emma's heart flutters at his words, blush painting her cheeks. “You flatter me, Killian,” she laughs.

The twinkle in his eyes is unapologetic. “It’s true, Emma.” He leans in, gently taking her chin in his hand and capturing her delicate lips. Warmth clouds her heart and she surrenders to him, letting him kiss her tenderly and softly as they share a few brief moments of savoring each other’s lips, each other's taste. Emma’s sure her breath is horrid, but he didn't seem to mind in the least.

After Liam’s feeding, she lays him against her shoulder with a cloth laid between them and gently pats his back to coax a burp from him.

The Sultan smiles tenderly as he watches them. He has that look in his bright blue eyes, that look which tells her he could watch his Kadin and son forever without ever growing bored. “I have brought you some gifts, my love,” he says after she’s finished burping their son, wiping some spit-up from his mouth.

Emma offers a tired smile as he pulls out a leather box, proffering it to her. Taking it in her free hand, he scoops their son in his arms and drops a kiss to his head, holding him as she opens her gift. Liam is much happier now that he's been fed and burped, and he wraps his tiny hand around his Papa’s finger, a perfectly content look on his face.

She raises the lid and gasps. Nestled in the velvet is a gold ring with a large emerald stone. “It’s beautiful,” she breathes, sliding the ring on her finger.

“It matches your lovely eyes,” he says with a grin. “I made it myself… and also something else.” He hands her a thin gold chain with a round medallion half worked in a delicate filigree of open, criss-cross gold. The other half is intricately carved gold in the shape of a quarter moon.

Fingering it gently, she hears the tiny bells attached to the openwork tinkle. “You honor me, My Sultan. The medallion and ring are even more precious to me because it was your own hands that crafted them.”

“There are more gifts to come, my love, but they can wait until you’re more rested.”

Arching a brow, Emma scans his face incredulously. “There’s more?”

He nods. “Of course. You are the mother of my heir, Emma. You’re my wife, my Queen. If I could, I’d make it official. I’d marry you today, in front of all the folk of Neverland. I only want to do you honor, from now until I take my last breath.”

Emma’s eyes glisten with tears. She would marry him in a heartbeat, but she knows it’s not possible. No woman has ever married a Sultan. It's strictly forbidden.

With the hand not holding their precious son, Killian strokes her cheek as a single tear slides down her face, and he brushes it away with his thumb. “I love you, Emma. I adore you and cherish you.”

“I love you, too, Killian.” Her voice cracks as she leans in and kisses his lips. Her heart blooms as she feels her son nestled between them.

She wishes they lived somewhere else, somewhere they could marry and raise their children as normal couples do. But here, they’d have to abide by the traditions of the empire. Emma wonders what it would take to break such traditions and what struggles they’d have to endure. She imagines she’d have to first convert to Killian’s religion because if she did that, she couldn’t be a woman of his harem, she would have to be officially freed from servitude. No woman who practices the sacred law of Neverland can be a slave, and according to this law, a woman shan't lay with a man outside of wedlock unless she is a bondswoman whose soul has not found the true path. If she were to stay with the Sultan after converting, the only solution would be to get married. But how would the people of the empire react? They certainly wouldn’t take too kindly of their Sultan getting married and banishing his harem, would they? Emma puts those thoughts aside for the time being and relishes in the quiet moments with her two boys.

~*~

After wrapping a long, silk fabric around Emma’s eyes, he takes Liam from her, holding him securely, the infant’s head laying on his father’s warm chest. Killian’s heart bursts whenever he holds the adorable boy he created with his beautiful swan.

He takes her hand, threading his fingers through hers as he leads her through the palace. As a blushing mother, she’s as elegant as ever before. Though she’s young, she took on her maternal duties with great pride; she’s a keen learner of everything motherhood entails. His mother became her confidant for matters regarding child-rearing, and he loves that they get along now.

Kira had welcomed Emma to motherhood with open arms and often invites his Bas-Kadin to her apartment for sherberts and cakes. This development has caused tension between Kira and her daughter, for Regina hates that her mother puts Emma before her own flesh and blood, but Killian knows she won’t try to pull any antics. Regina’s time here in the palace is hanging by a short string. He’s delayed marrying her off, but only for the time being while he’s focused on being a father and preparing to go to war. If Emma and Liam weren’t going with him, he would’ve banished her from the palace already because he doesn't trust leaving his beloved Bas-Kadin and son with his sister.

“Where are we going?” she asks him with an apprehensive smile.

“I told you, love, I have more gifts to present you with.”

The Sultan’s personal quarters—the selamlik—are separated from the Harem by a single door. It leads from his bedroom onto a cloister and then a maze of courts and dormitories that had once belonged to the pages and eunuchs of his retinue. Now it leads directly to Emma’s apartments where she and their son will be closer to his quarters. He wants to be close by at all times whenever he’s not with them.

After motioning to the guards, they fling the doors open and, still holding onto Emma’s hand, Killian leads her inside the reception room of her new suite and removes the blindfold from her eyes.

“Welcome, my love, to your new abode.”

Her eyes widen in delight as she takes in her new surroundings. Directly facing them is a small fountain, and each wall of the room holds a door.

“The eunuchs guarding you are quartered there,” he says pointing to the left. “Your female attendants will be here.”

A set of double doors opens to a charming salon adorned with copper lamps, rainbow silks and velvets of the cushions and draperies, and colorful rugs spread over the floor. In the center of the room is a chessboard made of ebony and mother-of-pearl inlaid squares, its pieces carved from black onyx and white coral. Emma beams as she admires the beautiful work of art that lay on a table between two chairs. She claps her hands and spins around to look at him, excitement dancing in her eyes. “Can we play this evening?”

Killian chuckles. “Yes, my love, it’s been far too long since you’ve defeated me at our favorite game.”

Emma laughs whimsically and they continue through the salon, a fire blazing merrily in a round fireplace, warming the room and casting a reflection off a glass door which leads to a colonial porch and garden that hangs over the sea.

Recognition flickers in her eyes as they walk along one of the many paths weaving through the garden—the garden which resembles her mother’s.

The path leads them to a pool with a small waterfall, and she’s visibly stunned. “How did you…” A tear spills down her cheek. “How did you know...” She’s suddenly at a loss for words, her mouth hanging open, her emerald green irises glinting with nostalgia. The garden is meant to resemble Misthaven. He’d planted the flowers himself and designed every detail of the garden.

He’d been a busy man for the final two months of Emma's pregnancy. He had to keep his hands busy and his mind occupied ever since he discovered his Grand Vizier—his best friend—had betrayed him. It's still difficult to swallow, but he tries not to ponder it too much, for he doesn’t wish to darken his Swan’s mood by burdening her with his pain. He wants Emma to enjoy this time as a new mother, though he knows she holds some resentment for her uncle and worries deeply for her family in Misthaven. She hadn’t heard from her father since he left, so she took the liberty to pen him a letter, announcing the birth of the prince they’ve named after Killian’s brother. She’d expressed her concern for them and Leo and wished them the best before handing off the letter to the messenger.

“Remember when we met, my darling?” He surely will never forget the first time he laid his eyes upon her face and her naked form as she bathed. She was exquisite. She still is. “Remember how you told me the garden by the pool reminded you of your mother’s?”

Emma manages a nod, still bewildered as she admires her new garden. “How could I not remember?”

“Well, while I led your father to my ship, I asked him to describe it to me, and he did with impressive detail.” Killian also asked David for his daughter’s hand in marriage, and he said yes, as long as he, her mother and Leo were present at the wedding. Killian eagerly agreed. Now he waits until Emma's ready and willing to accept her fate as Queen of Neverland and the duties which accompany that unique role. She'd mentioned her earlier plans to rule the empire, but that was before she knew him, when she had a different agenda. Now her love for him is pure and true, and in his heart, he already sees her as his wife, his partner, his everything, not a slave; so whether he makes it official makes no difference to him. He will love her just as deeply. And he doesn’t wish to influence Emma or coerce her into converting to a different religion. He wants her to make that choice on her own. He hopes he’d planted the idea of marriage, though, when he mentioned an official wedding, but she hadn’t spoken of it since, so neither had he.

“If it’s too painful for you, I can change it,” he offers.

“No, please don’t,” she replies breathlessly, turning around to face him. “It’s perfect.” Her eyes glisten with tears, a gleeful smile spreading across her face as she throws her arms around him, Liam snuggled between them. “Thank you,” she whispers in his ear, holding him and Liam tight.

“You’re welcome, my love.” He strokes her cheek with his free hand when she presses her forehead to his. “I only wish to make you happy,” he murmurs huskily, gazing into the emerald depths of her eyes. If you’re not, then what is my purpose in life? I’d rather die than see you or Liam unhappy.”

“How did I get so lucky to have a man like you?”

A solemn expression clouds his face. “I wouldn’t say the road you took to get here was very lucky.”

“I’d take that road a thousand times over as long as it means I get you and Liam. You’re both my family, Killian. I would never change that.”

Killian’s heart flutters as he offers a weak smile and kisses her lips. “I love you, Emma.”

“I love you, too.”

“Come, let me show you to your bedroom.” He takes her hand again and leads her back through the salon to her bed-chamber. There's an enormous canopy bed on an elevated gilded dais and Liam’s cradle sits next to the bed.

Killian leads her to the attached room, where Liam’s nursery is. A crib sits in the middle of the room, the polished wooden bars adorned with blue silk, and there’s a nursery chair next to the crib for Emma to feed her infant or croon to him.

She spins around, her eyes twinkling at the lengths Killian went to ensure she and their son are safe and comfortable in their new quarters.

“You have no idea how many gifts you’ve just given me,” she beams, smothering his cheek with kisses. He knows she's not simply speaking of the tactile gifts. He'd given her a home, another family, and endless love that will last forever, even beyond his death.

Killian’s heart swells as he gazes deeply into her gleaming green eyes. He wants to offer her more. So much more. “I have one more gift for you, Swan.” He smirks and tilts his head. “Well, actually two.” He calls for Nemo, who appears a few seconds later, holding a tray.

Emma's on the verge of bursting into happy sobs when her eyes fall upon a beautifully carved leather saddle. “Killian? You didn’t?”

He grins and leads her outside to a terrace where a eunuch is holding the bridle of a white mare with a beautiful, sleek coat.

Emma’s eyes marvel over the horse. “She’s lovely! Is she mine?”

Killian nods. He’d wanted to present the horse to her sooner, but he didn’t wish to torture her with the prospect of riding again while she was pregnant and unable to ride. “She is, my love. Her name is Luna. I hope you will join me for a stride through the woods when you’re up to it.”

Pure, utter joy creases every beautiful feature of her face as she approaches the horse and extends her hand. Luna moves her head in to sniff her hand, while Emma fondly pets the horse’s nose with her other hand. “Hi, Luna.”

Killian chuckles at how adorable she is; he doesn't know the last time he’d seen a woman look so close to fainting with joy. “See how easy it is for your mum to make friends?” he whispers to his son, gently kissing his forehead. “You are one lucky prince to have a mother as incredible as she is.” He reverts his gaze to Emma and watches in admiration as she and Luna interact like they’re reuniting after being apart for so long.

Luna touches Emma’s face with her nose, and Emma giggles and speaks to her in a soothing tone, running her palm over her soft coat. “Good girl.” After a minute, she turns to face her husband again and wraps her arms around him and Liam, pulling them into an enormous hug and whispering in her Sultan’s ear. “Thank you, Killian. You do not understand how much this means to me.”

Oh, but he does. He understands completely; he knows his lovely swan deep down to her bones.

~*~

Emma enjoys her new quarters; she enjoys her space and spending time in her beautiful garden. Her garden, which reminds the Bas-Kadin of her mother. It makes Emma miss her family more deeply, and she’s eager to hear from them. It’s made her lying-in period even more difficult to cope with.

She’s also grown anxious for other things. Being cooped up in her apartment isn’t so bad when she has the company of her little prince, but she aches for Killian. He spends time with them whenever he can but she needs him. She needs his firm hands all over her, needs him plunging into her, making her come undone until they’re both breathless, drenched in sweat and thoroughly sated. It’s been far too long since they’ve made love. And now she is ready, more than she ever has been before.

“Nemo, I would like to see the Sultan, please,” Emma demands after calling for him into her suite. Elsa is sitting on a divan holding Liam in her arms, taking care of him for while his parents have some alone time.

Nemo offers her a warm smile, his hands linked behind his back. “I’m sorry, my lady, but he is bathing.”

He says it like it’s supposed to appease her, or perhaps make her retract her request, but it has quite the opposite effect. Images of Killian’s perfectly sculpted body all wet and naked, his muscles glistening with massage oils makes her throb underneath her robe.

Oh god, she needs to be with him, lest she go mad. “I need to speak with him about matters regarding our son,” she says firmly, crossing her arms over her chest, her tone not to be trifled with.

He flashes a knowing smirk; he knows very well why she wants to see Killian. He knows she’s wearing nothing under her robe. “Of course. Allow me to escort you,” he says compliantly, unwilling to deny her request. Then he whispers, “And don't worry, your secret is safe with me.”

Emma feigns confusion, her brows wrinkling. "Why must the discussion of some very important matters regarding the prince be a secret?" She walks over to kiss her sweet boy, telling him she'll be back soon, even though he can't understand what she's saying. He gives her a sad look, and she hates being apart from him, but Elsa threatened to drag her out kicking and screaming if she let her son sway her from leaving. And Elsa is much stronger than she looks, so Emma doesn't wish to find out whether or not she would follow through with her threat.

“Enjoy your time with the Sultan,” Elsa blurts out with a smirk.

Nemo smiles and shakes his head. “Uh-huh, just as I suspected,” he teases as Emma heads for the door.

Her cheeks flush, a slight smile curving her lips as she calls out to Elsa, “Oh, I intend to,” before waltzing out the door with Nemo in tow.

When they reach the doors of Killian's bath area, she thanks Nemo for escorting her and for keeping her secret.

He smiles and blushes, bowing reverently before leaving her outside the double doors.

Her heart is pounding mercilessly as she places her hand on the door handles. She’s been to his bed-chamber many times, but she’s never been to his bath. In any other circumstances, no one would think to disturb the Sultan while he’s bathing, but she is not just anyone to him. She’s his wife, the mother of his heir, his true love. A tiny part of her worried he might’ve reconsidered Neverland customs after his Bas-Kadin gave birth to their son, but she quickly vanquished those thoughts. She remembered the vows he’s made to her in the privacy of his chamber and his bed, how he told her she is the only woman for him and she always would be. The knowledge of this makes her heart flutter and gives her the courage to open the doors and step through the threshold. Inside, the steam sears her lungs, perspiration dapples her skin, and the sight before her steals her breath.

The Sultan naked and wet and bronzed and oh so glorious.

Multiple maidens are bathing and massaging him, but there is not a shred of worry or jealousy in her heart. Not only because she trusts him and his devotion to her, but because two things change when she steps inside his bath area, her pattens clip-clopping against the marble. One, his eyes transform from a dull shade, showing no interest in the surrounding women, to that familiar, vivid blue, glinting with unadulterated love and admiration upon seeing her. Two, when she loosens the robe and lets it fall to the floor, revealing her fully naked figure, his penis goes from being completely flaccid to fully erect in a matter of seconds. Her blood runs hot, her core throbbing; she has to clench her thighs and steady her breathing to refrain from pouncing on him in front of the other maidens to witness. If she ever had doubts about his attraction to her, she now knows how completely foolish she was for having such thoughts.

The maidens gasp at the sight of Killian’s hard, throbbing manhood, and two of them try to touch him there, but he immediately catches their wrists in his hands to stop them.

Emma has never seen them before, so they must be new. Must be Kira’s doing, which Emma doesn’t blame her for. Being brought to Neverland at thirteen, Kira has been accustomed to the traditions here for a significant part of her life. It’s her duty as the mother of a Sultan to make sure her son is happy and content.

As he locks his gaze with Emma, he has that look in his eyes, the one that says his cock belongs to one woman and one woman only. He shoos everyone else away. “Leave us.” His voice cracks as his eyes drink in Emma like a man starved, like he’s tormented by the large feast set before him. He licks his lips in anticipation, sending a rush of heat to her core, her skin flushed and tingling under his gaze.

The maidens scurry out of the room, leaving the Sultan with his Bas-Kadin, the heat pulsating between them, even from across the room.

Emma saunters to him, her eyes full of desire and determination, still locked with his. He’s sitting at a bench and attempts to get up when she approaches, but she places her hand on his shoulder, telling him to sit and relax. When he complies, his muscles loosening under her touch, she goes behind him and gathers some oil in her palms.

“Where is our prince, my love?” he asks tenderly as she places her slick hands on his muscular shoulders, slowly massaging him.

“He’s safe with Elsa,” she assures before pressing lustful kisses up his neck.

He groans, his head lolling back against her shoulder as he sinks into her. His breath quickens when her swollen nipples pebble into his shoulder blades, coaxing a deep, guttural groan from his throat. Soon he's nothing but a pile of mush, purring as she touches him with her delicate fingers, rubbing out the tension in his shoulders and back. Feeling the thick, solid muscle beneath her palms, her fingers itch to grab onto another thick, solid muscle of his.

“Emma…” His voice is utterly wrecked as he reaches behind himself and strokes her thigh.

She moans in response; God, he’s not even touching her where she needs him and she’s already writhing and grinding her gleaming folds into his back, attempting to ease some of the pulsating tension between them, but to no avail.

Reaching in front of him, she glides her hands down his body, oiling his chest, running her hands over his nipples as they stiffen at her touch. She moves to his abs, enjoying how they ripple under her palms and the way his stomach tightens as she rubs him there. He’s groaning incessantly, his eyes closed as he relishes her touch. She can feel him restrain from pouncing on her. She feels that same tension coiling in her stomach, and she wants to sit on his lap and ride him into oblivion, but she doesn’t want this to end too soon. She wants to draw out these few precious moments with him as long as possible. But her body is waging a war against her logic, and the Sultan is growling as he jerks his hips, desperately yearning to be touched as her name pours from his lips, “Emma…”

She must obey. She wraps her hand around his cock and moans when it twitches in her hand. Her sanity and patience snap at the feeling of his velvety skin at her fingertips as his length slides through her fist like butter, arousal dripping down her thigh. She knows he’s feeling the same exquisite torture she’s experiencing when a rough growl tears through him from deep in his belly, when he turns around on the bench so he can see her, so he can touch her.

They lock eyes, lustful green meets a breathtaking blue as she strokes him, her clit throbbing at the thought of feeling him inside her again after being deprived for so long.

He takes a breast in his hand, squeezing softly and kissing her supple curves, his other hand tracing down her stomach. His fingers slide into her slit, eliciting a growl. “Fuck, you're wet.”

She moans, and her hand speeds up, wanting desperately to finish him off like this. Before she can, though, one of his hands is being curled in her hair, then she’s being pulled onto his lap and tugged into a hungry kiss. Releasing him so she can cup his cheeks in her hands, she can feel his thick length pulsating against her slick folds as she grinds into him. They both moan at the contact, and the kiss robs her of any willpower she’s somehow managed to sustain until this point. They simply devour each other, his tongue fiercely stroking hers, teeth nipping her bottom lip as she drags her folds along his cock, wanting so much more. She wants him inside her, filling her up.

He tugs her closer, until her breasts are flush against his slick chest, his hands roaming her back, and she’s unable to keep herself from arching into the kiss.

She whimpers into his mouth, growing wetter as his solid length easily glides through her folds; she needs him to drive into her, needs him to fuck her thoroughly. She needs him before she goes stark raving mad. “Killian...” Her hands clutch at his shoulders as she bucks her hips in offering. “F-fuck me... please.” She doesn’t care how desperate she sounds, only cares about having his cock ramming into her.

He flashes her a wicked grin and there's something primal in the look he gives her, making her burn even hotter. “Oh, I intend to.”

The anticipation is maddening; she feels a thirst for her Sultan that hasn't been quenched in far too long. But he's about to change that. He grabs her hips and lifts her slightly, allowing her to guide him to her aching heat. He draws her downward, groaning as she slides onto him, his eyes never leaving hers. He rolls her hips in his powerful hands, groaning as he claims her walls.

“Yes, oh yes,” she moans, her entire body thrumming with relief.

Finally.

Even though they had waited her full resting period before making love, Emma was afraid this would hurt, but oh God , he feels incredible inside her.

“Just as I suspected… you still feel exquisite around my cock.” His voice is husky and hot against her lips, the blue of his irises dark with desire, almost completely swallowed by his pupils.

She rides him slowly, her arms wrapped around his neck as he finds her lips, kissing her deeply. As many times as they’ve done this before, it’s as intense as ever. Maybe because it’s been so long since they’ve done this— far too long —or maybe because they now have a child together, both venturing into parenthood, making the bond between them stronger, more special, more exciting. Whatever the reason, being with him feels utterly incredible.

“Say my name, Emma,” he growls when she picks up the pace, riding him good and hard, worshipping her Sultan. “Let the entire palace know I'm still yours.”

She cries out, her body writhing above him. She loves knowing he's still hers even after giving birth to his son. She loves that she will be the only one to satisfy the Sultan. It’s difficult to hold on, difficult to not let him bring her there, and when she feels his calloused fingers tighten around her hips to quicken their thrusts, she can’t hold back any longer. Stars burst in her eyes as her orgasm hits her powerfully, and with a sharp cry, she throws her head back as the Sultan fucks his wife through her climax. “Killian!”

Without warning, he lifts her from his lap and spins them around, throwing her on the bench and pounding into her like a man possessed, their groans bouncing off the walls. He throws one of her legs over his shoulder, rutting into her erratically, completely ravaging her as he chases his own orgasm, his eyes completely black. It's been far too long since they've been together like this, and it's like all the desire he’d subdued had shot through him like a lightning bolt. And she loves it. She loves when he takes what he wants from her; she loves when he's panting, when he fucks her at a maddening pace, when he explodes so hard, his legs are shaking as her name tears from his throat in a broken whisper.

He sinks into her on the bench, holding up his weight so he doesn’t crush her as he kisses her sweetly. His eyes soften, worry flashing across his face. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Emma manages a lazy smile and shakes her head. “Not at all,” she assures, placing her hands on his cheeks. “You felt so good,” she whispers.

He groans. “You're incredible.” He kisses her lips before sinking his face into her neck, his chest rising and falling against her as he catches his breath.

~*~

When they're able to move again, he rises and helps her to her feet. Their activities should have cooled off some of his ardor, but it didn’t. He feels selfish for the way he fucked her. It was so quick and raw and animalistic, he’s nowhere close to being satiated. And neither is she.

Still holding her hand, he leads her to his bed where he properly worships his goddess, this time slowly and passionately, kissing and caressing every inch of soft, decadent skin, her swollen, blue-veined breasts, her beautiful stomach, his lips tracing her stretch marks from pregnancy, his tongue lapping up the sweet ambrosia from her lovely cunt. Motherhood has only increased her beauty, and he plans on showing her exactly how attracted and completely enamored he still is with her. He wants everyone in the palace to know. And judging by how loudly she moans—probably, loud enough for the entire palace to hear—and the way she explodes, her body shuddering every time she orgasms, he accomplishes what he’d set out to do when he brought her to his bed.

When she’s in his arms again, both of them breathless and sheathed in sweat, he kisses her temple and pulls her close, feeling her heart beating erratically against his.

Eventually, he rises, throwing on a robe and procuring some sherbets and small cakes. Elsa brings Liam to them when he’s fussing for his parents, and he and Emma spend the afternoon lounging in his bed, cuddling with their prince. Killian’s heart blooms as his baby boy sleeps contently on him, breathing softly against his chest as Emma lays her head on Killian’s shoulder, her hand resting on the prince’s little back. Killian strokes her disheveled hair and smiles contentedly as his angels nap. He loves moments like this when it’s just the three of them snuggled in their blissful little bubble. He never wants these moments to end, he wants to capture them and hold them in his heart forever.

He wants to secure their future together at all costs. He needs to make sure the lives of his son and wife are not constantly being threatened. His mother had sent him new maidens this morning, and he needs to stop it from happening again. He was far from tempted by them, but he doesn’t wish for these women to live in the harem hoping the Sultan will one day call one of them to his bed, or grow vengeful when he never does and try to hurt Emma or Liam. He will never call a woman to his bed other than his Swan. Which is why he will make some changes around the palace.

Some big changes.

@courtorderedcake @willow154 @teamhook @onceuponaprincessworld @nikkiemms @followbatb @resident-of-storybrooke @hollyethecurious @snowbellewells @artistic-writer @ultraluckycatnd @kmomof4 @darkcolinodonorgasm @lovepurplepumpkins @kiwistreetswan @therooksshiningknight @deathbycaptainswan @tiganasummertree @superchocovian @emeraldwitches

#cs ff #captain swan #the princess and her sultan #baby fluff #smut #prince Liam #my fic

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xxx-cat-xxx · 6 years

Note

so if this doesn't speak to you feel free to just consider it a Nice Concept(TM), but: Clint (and whoever?) giving a sick Tony a hard time about being crabby on a mission. Tony is leading directionally, cause he has the map memorized (genius boy!!). but he's snippy and complaining and the gang is getting Real Tired Of It, and to top it off, eventually it becomes clear they're not even going the right way, but when they go to yell at Tony, he's basically delirious with fever and confused 3 ily!

I absolutely loved this idea, and I had so much fun writing it! Apart from this, getting prompts from one of my favourite writers is awesome. I hope you liked what it turned out to be.

Also, apologies for that super long title. I was going through my music, and that Coldplay song just fit the story (and Tony´s character) so well that I couldn´t resist.

Just because I´m losing doesn´t mean I´m lost

“Isn’t the guy who navigates supposed to lead?” Clint complained. “Hey, genius, I´m talking to you!”

Tony, who was lagging behind, gave him the finger.

“I was just - securing the terrain,” he panted while pulling himself up to the ledge where Peter and Clint were already standing.

“Sure,” Clint spit. “There´s so much danger coming from, well, cactuses and butterflies. Just admit it, we´re lost.”

“I´ve told you before, I know the way. All saved up here,“ Tony said, pointing at his forehead. “Just because you need a sticky note to remember how to tie your shoelaces, birdbrain, doesn´t mean other people aren´t a little more intelligent.”

Peter was usually on Tony’s side when it came to arguments between the Avengers, but even he wondered what was going on now, Tony´s showcase arrogance doing nothing to reassure him. He knew from experience that it was more than anything elsea sign of Tony trying to hide his insecurity.

They had been walking in the mountainous terrain for more than three hours, trying to find a hut in which a group of arms dealers were supposedly hiding their loot. However, it was getting more and more evident that they weren´t even anywhere near their destination, and Peter was sure that they’d crossed this particular hill at least twice already, if not more.

“If you´re so clever, then tell me how much longer we have to walk?” It was clear that Clint had seen through the attempt, too. “I´m honestly getting tired of this.”

“If you´re not up to a short hike, you should have stayed on your hippy-dippy fairytale farm, planting flowers and practicing retirement,” Tony shot back without giving a real answer.

Peter frowned. He knew that Clint´s and Tony´s relationship was sort of bumpy since the whole Civil War thing, but that comment was below the belt line, even for Tony´s usual standards.

If Clint felt bad about it, he didn´t show.

“Look at yourself, old man, you´re panting like a steam loco,” he remarked instead.

Indeed Tony was breathing heavily, sweat beading on his forehead. His cheeks were showing red spots, and he was bent slightly over while standing. Peter expected a snarky reply, but none came. Instead he saw Tony biting his lips, readjusting his backpack and speeding up the pace.

They walked in silence for another 15 minutes, Tony now leading the way, Clint stomping behind like a stubborn child.

“You remember, at MIT, what happened during the last final?” Tony suddenly saidto Peter, his tone completely changed. They were walking up a steep path, and Tony was leaning heavily onto the stone wall to his left.

“No, how would I?” he replied confusedly.

“We got so smashed the night before,“ Tony rambled, his eyes looking a bit glassy from what Peter thought were memories. “I don´t know what happened that day. Just don´t remember anymore. Thought you might.“

Peter waited half a minute for Tony to explain himself, but nothing else came.

“Was that supposed to be funny?” he asked. “Because it´s not.”

Tony looked at him with a bit of surprise. “What?”

“What you just asked me”, Peter repeated impatiently. “Was it supposed to be funny?”

“What did I ask?” Tony inquired, confusion on his face.

“Are you kidding me?” Clint interrupted, his voice rising to an uncomfortable level. “I don’t know which game you are playing, Stark, but I’m seriously fed up from this. We´ve been following you for hours, and I feel like you have no idea what the fuck you´re doing!”

“I´m not…” Tony suddenly trailed off, swaying heavily on his feet.

“Wow, wow, what´s going on?” Clint said, anger still evident in his voice, but taking a step forward to steady the other man.

“I´m okay…´s just the palladium from the arc reactor….gotta replace the core…” Tony slurred.

Peter and Clint exchanged a worried glance.

“Mr. Stark, which arc reactor are you talking about?” Peter asked hesitantly. Everyone knew that Tony had gotten the actual implant removed years ago.

But Tony didn´t reply. Clutching one of his hands to his chest, he let out a small moan before his legs gave out all together and he would have hit the ground hadn´t it been for Clint to catch him.

“Thanks, Rhodey,” Tony murmured, clearly delirious.

“He´s cooking,” Clint assessed while pressing his palm to Tony`s forehead.His snarky attitude had vanished within an instant and was replaced by sober professionalism. Peter could see concern edged in the crease above his brow.

“Running a fever of….must be 104, at least.” He cursed when Tony´s eyes rolled back and he went malleable in his hands.

They carefully laid him on the ground, and Clint quickly opened a water bottle to push it in between Tony´s lips. He had to nudge him a few times before he woke up enough to actually start swallowing. After a few sips, all colour drained from his face, and he gagged weakly once the water went down his throat.

“Turn his head to the side in case he throws up,” Clint directed while keeping a finger on his wrist and checking his watch simultaneouslyto measure the heartbeat.

“His pulse is way too rapid,” he declared after a minute.

Peter could bet his heart was beating nearly as fast as Tony’s. He lifted a hand in order to touch his mentor´s face, but the older man immediately pushed him away with both arms, fear and defensiveness in his eyes.

“Don´ touch me,” he hissed.

“Mr. Stark, it´s only me,” Peter was taken a little aback, but didn´t try again.

“What can I do?” he asked instead, looking at Clint for guidance.

“There´s no way he´s getting out here on his own feet. Make an emergency call, Peter.”

Peter pulled out his phone, just to see an X above the bars indicating the lack of signals.

“There’s no network,” he stated.

He thought of other ways to contact someone, but there weren´t any. None of them was wearing armour, since they were supposed to pass for a family on a hiking day trip, at least if seen from afar. Peter had only brought his webshooters, Clint a foldable bow and Tony his famous watch gauntlet, although Peter was sure he could call one of his suits within minutes if he were lucid enough to do so.

“Yeah, we´re in a dead spot,” Clint said without looking up from Tony. “I think there should be signals up that hill, though. Mind trying?”

“Of course I will.”

Despite his enhanced abilities, Peter ran so fast that he was out of breath by the time he reached the hilltop. At least his mobile started to work again, evident by the beeping of messages arriving. He ignored numerous texts by Ned and scrolled through his contacts untill he found Natasha´s number. Thankfully, she picked up within minutes, and Peter tried his best to explain the situation as clearly as possible.

He made his way down even faster and was back within minutes, just to find Tony still lying in the same position as before.

“How’s he?” he panted.

“Semi-conscious, I’d say. Keeps talking nonsense.”Clint shrugged.“The call went through?”

“Yes, Nat is coming.” Peter replied absentmindedly.

Clint had emptied a water bottle over Tony´s head in an attempt to cool him down, which caused Tony to shiver hard. He moaned a little and mumbled something indiscernible while once again clutching his hand to his chest. The other one was clenched into a fist, ready to strike. Peter could only guess what was going on in Tony´s head, but he was sure it had something to do with the arc reactor.

“He´ll be okay, right?” Peter asked, trying not to sound too concerned, more like an Avenger.

“Don’t worry, it´s not so bad. He´s been much worse.”

This didn´t really help to reassure him. If taking a three-hour mountain walk with a fever of over 104 was considered not so bad for Tony´s standards, Peter wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what worse meant. He wondered again how much - or how less - he actually knew about his mentor´s past history.

“Hey, I’m still here, I can hear you,” Tony announced weakly, finally seeming a bit more clearheaded.

He was trying to push himself up on his hands, and Peter was immediately there to help him leanagainst the stone wall in a half-sitting position. Tony squinted against the sunlight.

“I think my brain´s gonna blow up,” he stated, pressing his hands to his temples in an attempt to lessen his headache.

“Why did you even come here when you were sick?” Peter asked.

“It wasn’t this bad before,” Tony mumbled.

While this was not necessary untrue, Peter was pretty sure he knew the deeper reason: Tony´s never-ending urge to prove himself that he was stronger - stronger than pain, illness, and anyone who´d ever claimed that he wouldn´t be able to achieve what he wanted. Peter sighed.

“Well, I would have expected something more from you, being a genius and all.” Clint said, half smirking, half scolding. “At least you should have let one of us navigate instead of getting everyone lost.”

“I knew where we were”, Tony assured, “just forgot where we had to go.”

Peter was still trying to bend his head around this when he heard the blades of a helicopter approachingquickly.

“Help is here,“ he announced, more to himself than anyone.

Tony nodded, closing his eyes with an exhausted groan while another chill ran through his body.

“Hey, no napping yet.”Clint tapped his fingers on his cheek. “You still need to get on the helicopter and take some medicine, or do you think I`m gonna spoonfeed you?”

“What else are you there for?” Tony teased without opening his eyes.

“I`m not your PA, dude.” Clint said, slightly irritated. “Nor your wife, for that matter.”

“Friends, family, s`all the same,” Tony murmured, alreadyhalf asleep. And this time, it actually made Clint smile a bit.

#tony stark #peter parker #clint barton #sick tony #sick character #sickfic #fanfic #H/c #hurt/comfort #fever #prompt fill #mission fic #tony whump #tony!whump

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ruwithmeguys · 5 years

Note

BookofLife, OMG I cannot believe it. Okay here is my question. Do you think Sara had to die for Laurel to be BC? In season 3, Laurel showed no desire to get fitted for leathers once she knew about Ollie's secret, until Sara died. So it really made her reason to suit up focused more on vengeance, that eventually turned into some kind of competition between herself and Sara, and an adrenaline rush. Laurel's origin as BC was muddy in reason and rushed. I don't get her motivation. what do u think?

Hi there!

Yes.

It was part of KC’s contract: to fulfil her contract, they had to make her BC as her agent reinforced. The only way they could do that to any level of effectiveness was to kill off Sara, give ll’s character the fasted, most unconvincing rise to vigilantism in the history of vigilantism... and then have her bring back her sister and kill her all over again so that they could re-write her character that fits more to KC’s acting capabilities.

It was another ‘plot over character’ moment. It could have been so good too.

ll wearing Sara’s outfit had zilch to do with vengeance: she took on her sisters identity. The identity she’d always wanted. An identity that got her close the man who didn’t want her close. An identity that fed her addictions. She got to BE her sister.

And then realised it would never be enough.

So she brought her back.

Sara was her love story. And she died right after fulfilling it.

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opedguy · 3 years

Text

Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn Gone Mad

LOS ANGELS (OnlineColumnist.com), Dec. 18, 2020.--Euphoric after his Nov. 26 pardon, 62-year-old former National Security Adviser Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn urged the 74-year-old President Donald Trump to declare martial laws, forcing battleground states to redo the Nov. 3 election with only paper ballots. Flynn says that Trump should “deploy” the military to seize electronic voting machines. Flynn showed why former President Barack Obama fired him Aug. 7, 2014 as Director of the Defense Intelligence Agency, noting that Flynn had some screws loose. It didn’t take long for Flynn to get the ax from Trump Feb. 3, 2017, after spending a little over a month as National Security Director. Trump knew that Flynn was interviewed Jan. 24, 2017 by the FBI at the White House, eventually forced out for giving false statements to former FBI agents Peter Strzok and Joe Pientka. Flynn’s tendency with his 42-year-old son Michael Flynn Jr. toward the kooky didn’t pass unnoticed

Flynn and his son helped spawn the “Pizzagate” conspiracy theory that former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton ran a pedophile ring out of D.C.’s Chevy Chase neighborhood Comet Ping Pong Pizzeria which was shot up by some lunatic Dec. 15, 2016, claiming he tried to break up Hillary’s pedophile ring. “Unitl #Pizzagage proves to be false, it’’ll remain a story,” Tweeted Michael Flynn Jr. Dec. 6, 2016. Well no matter how insane Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn’s son, it looks like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. “There is no way in the world we are going to be able to move forward as nation,” Flynn said, urging Trump to declare martial law. “He could immediately on his order, seize every one of these machines, on his order,” Flynn said, referring to electronic Dominion voting machines. Wild conjecture circulates that Dominion voting machines were compromised with Venezuelan software designed to change votes.

Since Biden won the Nov. 3 presidential election, Trump and his followers have claimed massive voter fraud, something pushed by 60-year-old Chapman Law Professor John Eastman. Eastman helped write the Texas lawsuit asking the Supreme Court for injunctive relief, to essentially nullify the vote in battleground states. Eastman said Trump’s campaign officials didn’t need to prove fraud, they only needed to make the case that swing state election officials were prevented from recognizing fraud, demanding that the election in battleground states be nullified. After watching the Texas lawsuit rebuked in the Supreme Court Dec. 11, Flynn has come up with even more insane scenarios involving the president declaring martial law. Flynn thinks he’s paying Trump back for the pardon endorsing the reckless practice of declaring martial law and nullifying the Nov. 3 vote.

Since Trump lost the election Nov. 3, he’s claimed without evidence or proof that the election was rigged by crooked Democrat officials in battleground states. Trump’s election advisers haven’t been able to demonstrate fraud, only promote wild speculation as to what happened. When you consider that universal mail-in ballots gave 78-year-old President-elect Joe Biden a distinct advantage in the Nov. 3 election, it was no surprise that Biden won. Democrats had a 6% electoral registration advantage to Republicans, giving Biden the edge in a large voter turnout. Trump couldn’t overcome four years of horrific press, accusing him of conspiring with Russia to win the 2016 presidential election but more recently mishandling the Covid-19 crisis that’s cost the U.S. over 300,000 lives. Unable to challenge the Democrat narrative, Trump couldn’t convince enough independent voters to give him four more years.

Yet to Trump and his followers, they can’t stomach the fact that voters got fed up with the Covid-19 crisis and recession, tossing millions of workers into unemployment. Blaming Trump’s loss on fraud is a lot easier that accepting responsibility for running a lousy campaign. Trump’s 32-year-old neophyte communication director Hope Hicks did an incompetent job confronting the Democrat narrative that blamed Trump for everything under the sun. “He could order, with the swing states, if he wanted to, he could take military capabilities and he could place those states and basically rerun an election in each of those states,” Flynn told Newsmax. “I mean, it’s not unprecedented. These people are out there talking about martial law like it’s something that we’ve never done. Martial law has been instituted 54 times,” Flynn said, essentially telling Trump to start a civil war.

With the Electoral College voting Dec. 14 to certify the election for Biden [306-232], it’s a formality to present the results to Congress Jan. 6. Trump thinks he can have someone like newly minted Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-Al.) object to the Electoral College Count on Jan. 6, 2021. No matter what the objections from Tuberville or any GOP House member, it’s not going to stop the Congress from certifying the Dec. 14 Electoral College vote. Flynn’s ideas of declaring martial law is so far beyond the pale, it tells you exactly why he’s unemployable. Flynn told a conservative Ohio activist group that Trump should “suspend the Constitution,” declare martial laws and have the military hold a new “national re-vote.” Flynn has a lot to be euphoric about with his presidential pardon but he’s giving Trump insane advice that would only result in Trump being escorted out the White House by federal marshals.

About the Author

John M. Curtis writes politically neutral commentary analyzing spin in national and global news. He’s editor of OnlineColumnist.com and author of Dodging The Bullet and Operation Charisma.

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klarkkent71 · 4 years

Text

Latest Update/Fiction Series

Jan 27 2019

Raw and unedited. With my laptop being down I can’t run it through my usual software I used in grad school.

Latest Life Update: I took time over my Christmas break to travel and enjoyed my time of just being home with my family. It was a chance to get my energy back up and spend quality time which was needed. I brought in New Years in a dope environment and immediately went back to working and training others in the field. I had a chance to jump out of plane and get my first mass tactical jump in. From there training out in the field was cold and rainy and I was on the verge of getting the flu. It was plenty days I spent sick until my body just gave out and told me it was time to rest. I found out I ‘ll be moving up to another job where I’ll strictly be in an office and use my brain as a planner now which I’m kind’ve nervous and excited about. This is my last year of living in Louisiana so I’m just trying to enjoy it all while I have time. This week I’ll ship to Georgia for my next military school so it’ll be a while before I upload again. I’m always posting on snapchat and occasionally will use my insta story. I still have plenty articles and topics to talk about including other travels and a piece on my mother but yesterday I challenged myself to write as much as I can in 40 minutes and below is the outcome. I pulled motivation from everywhere. I title this series Fiction for a reason.

RIP Kobe Bryant

I was happy to see Nipsey win a Grammy though and though the dedication was great.

The first pic of me was my last day in my area before going out to the field, the others are just recent pics throughout break.

Fiction Series(A collection written in 40 minutes of whatever I felt)

Kharismatic

I remember it like it was yesterday, I was home all confused with the blues.

I was told by a woman who had a child already that I’ll be baby daddy #2.

Puking out my heart was my immediate reaction.

Thinking how can I be so stupid from one night of satisfaction.

I was constantly asking if she was sure it was mine.

I remember the only time we ever had sex I strapped up two times.

I even pinched the tip just to be sure none of my gold leaked.

No matter how many times I asked she ensured that it was me.

I couldn’t tell my parents or friends from that feeling of shame

This façade that I constantly put on was hidden all in my name.

I felt hopeless and holding a lot in with no one to talk to.

Then casual conversation appeared on facebook and it was you.

I remember you having a situation where you had to face your fears years back.

It’s crazy how hard times circle and you served as my only support system to help me get through that.

Your smile and intentions still remain pure.

Just a text conversation hashing it all out served as a cure.

At the end everything worked out and I felt as If I can move on.

You will always have a spot in my heart for helping me when I was weak and you being strong.

Kharismatic and I love you for just being you.

Haiku

Black women are gold.

The best creation in life.

One will be my wife.

Lost Stones

My bloodline goes back to King Solomon and the masons.

From trails of Africa to slave ships of my heritage being caged in.

To freedom and segregation and lynching under Jim Crow.

To the Civil Rights Act of equality where my resident changed from a plantation to a ghetto.

To Reaganomics in the 80s along with the crack epidemic where things would be fine if you just say no.

Unless you was black than to jail your ass would go.

Crack get you 10 while the wealthy who could by coke get way less.

Systematic racism what it’s known as an during that time it as at its best.

And let’s not forget “Stop and Frisk” to hoping these politicians actually give a shit.

While easily being distracted as a culture thinking and not investing in our self and being more concerned with your fit.

I live life on edge everyday just by waking up and living in my skin

Feeling the pressure of this world can make me think It’s a sin.

So I get high off this poison hoping it will help me forget.

All while fighting discrimination and the chase from 5-0 hoping them cuffs with me they’ll never get.

I look to heaven for God to reply and bring peace to my heart.

Just to see a reflection that God lives in me so in his divine plan somewhere I’m a part.

Lazer beam dreams aren’t as far farfetched as it seem.

Tantrum

It’s true that a break up don’t hit until months later

Thinking back to myself was I really that upset over something I now see was small

The ornament my mom hung up made me realize the grass on the other side wasn’t always greater

When hard times came the real me revealed itself and led to my downfall

Mismatched

My connection with her is deeper than any other I ever had in my life.

I knew from the day we met and locked eye that you’ll be my soulmate and wife.

But life has a way of bringing that high down by our interest not being the same.

She want to buy the world and I want to create a world we disconnect on ethical things

I’m not trying to mess up a good thing by starting fights.

But to the darkness and sorrow that hangs in my heart just need a little light.

I can talk about our history and write poems for days.

And can easily smile from the spells I been under when I was in a daze.

Being in a helicopter and looking over the city is a memory that will forever being engraved in my brain.

But times and mood shifts and it’s in our human nature to change.

So now I just remain numb.

Passed that phase of young and dumb.

Released tension just be cut off and let go.

I expressed I love you in life just going with the flow.

Now were complete strangers.

A Southern Love Ballet

At times I’m asked how me and my wife met and how we survived through the storm and I remind everyone that our love story started as a struggle so living life with her was easy. Me and her went to high school together. I was black and charcoal and she was white. She was a sophomore and I was a freshmen and she was a tutor in my science class. I was on the verge of failing and desperately needed help. What eventually started off as tutoring turned into mild flirting and I expressed how I feel. The only problem was she knew her parents would never agree to us talking due to our race. I asked If she’ll just give me one date and she agreed so I saved up my allowance and asked my mom If I could borrow her car for just one night. I took her to the hangout and in the middle of casual conversation I made my move. She was absolutely disgusted. She told me to take her home and that she will never talk to me again. I felt so bad and had time to reflect so I called and apologized and asked If she’ll give me one more chance. This time I was a complete and one positive thing clicked after the next and we eventually started to go steady. Her parents found out we was talking and sent her to live with her aunt and uncle in Georgia just to separate us. I called her daily expressing my love but it wasn’t enough to keep her. Her senior year came and she was fed up with living with her aunt and uncle who would abuse her so she moved back to Louisiana. When I found this out I cut off every girl I was talking to at the moment. 4 kids and 3 grandkids later and were still going strong as ever in love. Of course the scars from the start can’t be forgotten but the true lesson is that love an drown out the hate if you apply it properly

#poetry blogs

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againstthegrainphoto · 7 years

Text

ok. I’m going to write this novel. it’s going to be so long that I’m actually using the website....not my phone. because keyboard. Here we go:

Ghost. Oakland, CA. 7/5/17.

So my friend Sarah and I went to see ghost and iron maiden in Oakland. If you don’t give two shits about my san francisco adventures and just want to read about ghost....skip down. It was a bit of a hot mess of a trip. I had to work monday, So I worked my 8 hours and then left to pick her up. Because both of us are night people and night driving is WAY better than day driving. traffic in seattle was a complete nightmare starting out. there was a huge accident at the west seattle bridge exit. So I finally get to tacoma and pick her up.

(nice unintentional product placement for the best nameless ghoul tote bags ever)...we stop at fred meyer and get car supplies and gas. Then we are on our way. We make a stop in portland for dinner and an awesome visit with @lucifersbrightstar....we had such a good time!! (seriously, it was really great to hang out!!! <3 )eventually we head for cali. We made such great time. Sarah ptfo around medford. And as I’m flying down I5 the sun is beginning to come up and as I make it to the cali border and the ipod (on shuffle) is playing ghost’s cover of “here comes the sun”......I almost started crying it was such a beautiful moment.....like you can’t make this shit up.....

We made such good time we made it to the hotel hours before check in....we even went and scoped out the venue and everything....but by that time I was like “I need sleep now” So we check with the hotel and they were like Sure! check in now! your room is ready! and thank satan for that....because I went and ptfo. We rested and slept a couple hours before heading into San Francisco. We took the BART.

...which I’ve never been on a subway....we don’t have these things in seattle....That shit is scary as fuck. I mean it starts out above ground..much like the monorail here....SUPER easy and fun..... and then all of the sudden the thing is SHRIEKING like a fucking demon going 80million miles an hour and going down to the pits of hell so fast that your ears are popping. and then you end up in san francisco. we then went to chinatown..

its such a fun area...by this time though it’s been over 13 hours since I’d eaten and I fell into Eskimo Hungry™ mode. Like....if you don’t know what that is...you don’t WANT to know what that is....but if you don’t keep your Eskimo fed....it’s not pretty. So Sarah leads me into the snow garden restaurant and we order so much food. And she’s like “....are you mad at me?!?!?”.....and I then had to explain what Eskimo Hungry™ is. I then consumed some chicken chow mein and half a dozen pot stickers AND TWO!!! shrimps. I hate shrimp. They taste good....but I just can’t do the texture. But I got TWO down. I was so proud. I’ve never eaten more than one in a sitting. Then the world was right again and we went and looked at all the things!! She bought herself a black pearl (she’s a pirate....btw....like “this is not a hobby” type of pirate)(...actually her hobby is burlesque dancing....).....(....did I mention she’s one of my coolest friends?)...so she bought herself a black pearl necklace and comes up and also buys me this blue pearl necklace that matches my hair color...IT WAS THE SWEETEST THING EVER.

So then we just wander around all these random shops.....and we go in this knife shop....because she’s in the market for a pirate sword....and I saw this knife. I don’t like knives. or weapons. or guns. or anything like that. But I was like......I.must.have.that....i don’t know why I must have that. but I must. And then I’m like...noooo. I don’t need it. But then I was like...well if it’s under $20. I”ll do it. So I ask how much and the lady is like $17. And I was like naaaahh. this isn’t my jam. I don’t need it. and so I walk over to sarah and she’s like are you going to get it? I’m like....it’s $17.....and she said I should get it. So I did. So now how I have beautiful oil slick looking knife which I’m not sure is legal or not. but I love it? So then we travel down to the shopping area....and walk through this crazy tunnel:

and end up in the shopping area. I found a huge chewbacca. he was like 6′5.

I found a pineapple shirt (and knew @yourinfernalmajesty1 would approve) in no other place than fucking H&M.....because of course:

Then I saw the awesomest fountain thing....I saw it and IMMEDIATELY was like murder castle......MURDER CASTLE!!!!!!! H.H.HOLMES. YOU GUYS.

of course Sarah was just like “ok heather...?!?!.”.....and I”m just like “what? am I the only fucked up one here? it’s cool.....I get it....murder isn’t everyone’s cup of tea”....I then found palm trees......I had never touched a palm tree. Or really even seen one up close in real life. Those fuckers are HUGE. Day=Made. So excite.

Then we went to sephora because it was like 4x the size of ANY sephora we have up here. I got the new Urban Decay Veletizer. (10/10 would recommend.) We then were going to take the trolly, but it wasn’t running because it was the 4th of july. But they had a free shuttle down to the place for fireworks. We were waiting by the stop and this scandinavian couple started chatting with us.....it took EVERYTHING in me to not say “kommer ni från Sverige?”....because they were so swedish it was painful. The shuttle was fun:

but terrifying......the bus driver was INSANE. I was shocked we didn’t crash and die.

our houses here look so different. Like it feels more like a different country down there than it does in Vancouver....which is actually a different country.

We went by Lombard St....which was really cool and kinda unreal to actually see in person. It has such a different vibe than seattle.

So alien. So then we are down by the water. And friggin Alcatraz. I saw friggin Alcatraz!!!! What the fuck. SO AWESOME. I had to take a selfie with Alcatraz.

then I had to take a photo of Sarah with Alcatraz. I was so stoked to see it.

We then went and got Ghirardelli sundaes and coffee at Ghirardelli Square.....I was double fisting like a fuckin champ.

We we watched the not so impressive fireworks show that was hidden in the clouds for the most part....being from seattle.....it wasn’t that disappointing. just more normal. hahaha. We then walked 80 miles back to the BART.

We stopped and got some adult beverages on the way....And FINALLY at like midnight made it back to the hotel......where I looked in my bag:

....carries everything. full bottle of wine, blue pearls, BART card. shank. UD makeup. ice cream sundae....you know....the essentials. We then started are daily ritual of in and out burger......I ate more burgers this week than I have in the past year.

At this point I finally sleep for more than a few hours. We woke up the next day and I’m like a HUGE ball of energy....because ghost. We eat breakfast at the diner across the street from the hotel and discuss game plan. We then went to walgreens because Sarah was having bad sinus allergies and also had wore new boots all around the day before and needed a blister cover.

Now...for the GHOST part of the trip:

We then go back to the hotel and get ready to go. I finally put on the beautiful dress I made.

We called a cab and went down to stand in line for pit entry....because if I’m going to see ghost....I WILL be at the front. We looked fucking awesome btw....if I do say so myself:

That venue’s ticketing system is a fucking nightmare. I had purchased my two pit tickets back on presale in January. They allowed you NO (0,none,ziltch) tickets. but put the tickets attached to the number of the credit/debit card you purchased them with. Also you HAD to enter ALL at once AT the EXACT same time. And literally no one at the venue knew what to do with me and Sarah, because I was VIP/meet&greet and she was not. So I had paid (dearly) for early entry, but if I went in she would not be allowed in. Because VIP was plaza entrance and pit was south tunnel entrance. So I asked the lady running the iron maiden vip (ghost vip wasn’t even there yet)...and she was just like you have to ask nik. So by then the ghost vip crowd had gotten about as big as it was going to get (SUPER SMALL. like 20) and I was chatting with a couple people....some of which already follow me!! it was so cool! lol. So finally nik comes out and I tell him my situation with the tickets and he’s like well I”ll just check you in for vip right now and you can go stand with her in the pit line, because honestly ghost vip only get in 5 minutes before everyone else.....and ALL of the vip iron maiden fans are already in there. So he checks me in...and I find out I get to carry around a ouija board ALL night. for the entire show......like.....did they think this through? And I didn’t drive there.....soooo I had no where to put it and was forced to just carry it. And the little itty bitty sack they give you doesn’t even fit it:

So what I ended up doing....is threading my purse strap through each side string and then putting each loop around each arm and it fashioned a sort of backpack(which were 120% illegal, not allowed at this show, leave now, type of venue)....SO STUPID. But really a different and imaginative VIP incentive really. So much better than the shirt from last year. So I was ok with it. So then we go in and go to the front of the currently empty venue. And Sarah holds a spot (and my ouija board) for me up front while I go to the place to meet for the photos. I went and saw the people who I chatted with outside and akwardly joined them. It was actually really cool to hang out with other Ghost fans, not alot of them up here in seattle, I feel like. So we got talking and we decided that we wanted a tumblr photo with papa....so me, @jennwearsblack , @burnthewitchiii , and her friend (katie?) all figured we would ask if we could do one big group photo. So watch out for that!! :D I feel like it’s going to be fucking awesome!! So then nik came and herded us all down to this small room with this weird curtained off section with black fabric.....total step up from last year. but a little odd imo. you couldn’t watch the other people photos like you could last year....like it was private. so we wait in line and nervously chat. Finally it’s our turn and we all go in and take the group photo.....then we all exit back through the entrance to take individuals. I feel like we didn’t really ask if that was ok, or give them an option about it, or a chance to tell us “no, that’s not ok.” hahaha. So finally it’s my turn.....and I go in and hand him the envelope with the doll from @lucifersbrightstar and a couple of my own photos I had printed out for him.....but I put them in such a way he couldn’t see them?....because I don’t think I could handle papa looking at my photo in front of me again. When he did that last year I basically was like “OH THANKS” and turned and ran away from him while he’s holding a small pile of photos. hahah. oh dear. So he went over and gave the packet to.....the manager dude who I totally recognize, but who’s name I don’t know. The one whom I shoved ALL my shit (purse, merch, vip bag, laminent, etc) in his arms last year while I did my photo. (bless him)....And so then papa comes back and I go “I want to do an akward prom pose! and then one with our nails!” and him and nik both kinda tried to hold in laughs. Because that’s gotta be one of the best requests ever....if I do say so myself. And then I start thinking how this is going to work out and where and how to stand and while mid thought papa goes “OKEJ. lik dis?” in his papa voice....and in one swift movement grabs me by the waist, flips me around, so all of the sudden I”m in front of him, facing the camera, and then pulls me back so my back completely pressed up against his front, and his hands are on my stomach holding me there.....I froze and didn’t know what to do. because that’s NOT at ALL what I meant or expected....I wanted like 4 feet apart hand on shoulder akward.....but his super confident un-gentle movements and his hands on my stomach freaked me out to the point where it took me a moment to realize that I am standing there holding both of my own hands in the air while papas are around me and nik is standing there with the camera staring at me waiting for me to put my hands down....so finally my brain kicks in and is like “PUT YOUR ARMS DOWN BITCH. JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST. GET IT TOGETHER”....so I lowered my hands to papas with an akward unintentional pat pat and nik took the photo. then I was like....”nails”...and I made a stupid face and papa made a stupid face and we held our hands up...and he took the second shot and I gtfo. asap. run away. i was SHOOK fam....my groove was thrown off. I am sure I look like jabba the hut in the photo from the way papa was holding my top half back at an angle and how nik was looking up at us. I probably have like 80 chins despite my on point contouring. I booked it back to Sarah and was like “WWWWHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. *SOB* IT DID NOT GO AS PLANNED. *UGLY TEARLESS SOBBING*=‘(” (..............what?.....I wasn’t about to fuckup my close to flawless make up.....or cry out the contact....)....I was shaking.....that’s not something I ever do....I generally own up to everything that happens....and I rarely get nervous around people.....I’ve photoed and met so many idiot bands....like it’s just not nerve wracking at all to deal with idiot band people......but I was like....*holds shakey hand up* “WHAT IS THIS. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME. AM I DYING. I THINK I’M DYING. *TEARLESS SOB*”......she then left me to go find beverages($9 for a fucking bottle of water if you were wondering)(she was going to get adult beverage....but at $17 a shot....she wisely passed on that)(ps--fuuck you arena shows)....that’s when I panic posted that little blurb that’s got over 60 notes(why tho)....*cries*....of course then I over analyzed and remembered what I had said about my meet and greet last year:

....then I was like...”...uuhhh.....I sure as fuck hope he didn’t read that”.....because the demeanor and vibe from him this time was like so exact opposite....and we all know he’s a fuckin lurker......*has minor breakdown* ....because honestly this is more what I was going for this year....was the akward prom pose:

...i liked that...ugh. this years photo is going to be horrible and I’m going to cry....

.....then I’m going to get my shit together...open up photoshop.....and make it work......

So then the show started and it was SO AWESOME. Fire really made it for me....totally sold me on the new ghouls. That dude is a fucking treasure.

I had so many special moments with that little ghoul......Everyone’s like “PAPA POSES FOR YOU ALL THE TIME”.....and I’m just like.....nah. he’s just doin things that papas do. goin about his papa business. per usual. it’s not my fault papa business is photogenic........fire, however. That dude would hold a pose for hours for me if I asked, I think. hahahaha. He’s so fantastic and fun and he gives so much energy.....and also takes so much energy. more so than anyone I’ve ever photoed. it was really fun to photo and watch. one time I somehow felt like he was giving me shit for photoing another ghoul...my camera was pointed somewhere else, satan forbid. and I saw him gesturing out of the corner of my eye. So I looked straight at him and made a face and stuck out my tongue while still photoing someone else and he just shook his head and then shook his finger at me. I adore him. hahahaha. There was one time where papa did his “stare into your soul” thing.....so I just stopped photoing and stared back....like “two can play that game, bitch”......I could not see new new new earth at all. what so ever. was kinda sad about that. he seemed? to do well? I mean sounded good. I still hate chAir. Still petitioning for a new Air ghoul. dude is a terrible nameless ghoul. like.....no. gå hem. vi vill inte dig. du får inte sitta med oss......no matter how good at sitting you are......ha. only new ghoul I’m not sold on. New new new water is absolutely precious. New new aether is quite a character. His poppunk/glam jumps off boxes are life. It was over way too soon. Fire tried to toss me a pick but didn’t quite get it to me. we both just shrugged at each other. lol. Then during set changes the entire crowd shifted....in a bad way. the dude next to us got fucking head butted hard and went down. security came in and removed the headbutter. but people were still being horrible....WITH NO BAND EVEN PLAYING.....Sarah got hit hard too.....and she’s recovering from a shoulder injury and so we only lasted one song up front before we gtfo. and retreated to a safer spot:

It was a sold out show. 4000 people were behind us for ghost:

....Iron Maiden fans....as far as the eye could see.....

We went and got merch during iron maiden. I asked the merch girl for the “ghost tesla shirt” and she was like “I don’t know which one that is”.......I was just like....you’re fucking kidding me right?....then once she figured out which she’s like we only have it in large and up.....so someday I’ll make a dress out of it. lol. until then I”ll just swim in it.....it already goes like half way down my thigh. lol. So then we watched the rest of iron maiden from further back.....it was a really awesome show. Their stage set up is phenomenal. So then it ends and we contemplate trying to meet ghost....and find a lost older man with a dead phone(hi richard!) who was desperately trying to find his people...lol...I ended up calling his friend...and leaving a message..”HI....I’m here with your friend richard at the north entrance....please come get him”....haha...eventually they came found him and scolded him and thanked us for keeping him safe?? hahahahah. good times.....then it was good we didn’t try to meet the ghouls....cause I guess they left before it was even over. So I was fairly heartbroken about it....because I don’t know when/if I’ll ever get to meet the new ghouls. I really do like them(aside from chAir)....I really hope papa keeps them around.(aside from chAir).....So then we call a cab to get us back to our hotel......and they’re like....we just sent our last two cabs for the night. sorry....and people were saying uber was a 2 hour wait......so we ended up WALKING back to our hotel....... Luckily it wasn’t too far....but it was far enough....and I was in huge strappy platforms and a floor length dress. good times.....maybe not so much. But we made it. And then we went and got our ritualistic in and out burgers. That shit is so fucking good. and I don’t know why. Then I posted all the photos and mourned the fact that it was over....I was still buzzing with crazy energy and Sarah fell asleep...lol. Eventually I crashed too. we woke up the next morning, packed and headed home. It was THE WORST DRIVE EVER.....what took us like 11ish hours to get there.....it took us SEVENTEEN to get back. we stopped for coffee. and we stopped for in and out one last time.......the rest was spent stuck in traffic and road work for miles and miles. it took us HOURS and HOURS and HOURS just to get out of the god forsaken hell that is northern california.

we flew through southern oregon.....until just north of salem....where we sat....like chAir.....in traffic. and roadwork. for fucking hours and hours. not. happy.

...we figured I would get home around midnight....including a stop in oregon for a smidge of tax free shopping....not only did we not make it in time for oregon stores to be open......I GOT HOME AT 4:30AM......and that concludes the epic, crazy, wouldn’t trade it for anything, hot, fucking mess, of a trip that me and a friend took to see ghost. Because I’m pretty sure that will be the last time I ever see papa III.....and I would have regretted it my entire life if I hadn’t seen him one last time.

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dialovers-translations · 4 years

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Diabolik Lovers Zero vol. 6 Yuma Mukami [Track 3]

Original title: 痺れた身体に沈むキバ

Source: Diabolik Lovers Zero Vol. 6 Yuma Mukami [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Tatsuhisa Suzuki

Translator’s note: Yuma is so sweet to the MC in this track, I honestly couldn’t stop smiling at those parts. He really solidified himself as my favorite Mukami right now and I really hope playing his route in More Blood won’t ruin that. Meanwhile his doppelganger is probably one of the worst ones so far, completely ignoring the MC’s wellbeing just to feast upon her blood. Next part which probably be the showdown between real and fake, which is definitely something I’m looking forward to!

This track was requested by @wishandluck! If you would like to request a translation, please contact me through IMs or drop an ask!

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

Track 3: Fangs Sinking Into a Paralyzed Body

*Gulp gulp*

( Aah...I feel like I’ll become addicted to this taste. (1) I seriously don’t grow sick of this. Hahaha...Oi, you fainted? Don’t get down on the floor just yet, you can still keep goin’ right!? )

*Rustle rustle*

( Haah!? ...Che...So you can’t even reply anymore? ...However, you’re still breathing, huh? Hehehe...In that case, you can still endure it. I just can’t stop. I’ll suck you dry. Until you wither... )

*CRASH*

( ...Haah!? The fuck!? Could that guy be going on a rampage? Che...I put him in a sturdy cage, is he a wild beast or somethin’...!? )

The fake Yuma slowly gets up.

( Gonna go check up on him real quick. Don’t ya dare try and escape. Haah...? ...Right, ya just had your blood sucked left ‘n right, so I guess you couldn’t escape even if you wanted to. Heh. Let’s continue the fun later, ‘kay? )

He leaves the cage and locks it before stepping away.

*TIMESKIP*

Yuma runs up to your cage.

*Cling clang*

“Oi...! Oi!!”

*Cling*

“Hang in there...!!”

You slowly regain your consciousness.

“You’re alive! Hold on. I’ll wreck this stupid lock...!!”

*SHATTER*

He runs to your side.

*Rustle*

“...Fuck! Those bite marks look hella bad. I’m never forgivin’ that bastard for this...!”

You start to panic.

“Huh!? Ah...Don’t scare me! I’m the real one! I’m sorry I took so long...That fraud, he put me into a hella sturdy cage. It took me forever to destroy it.”

You notice his hands are bleeding.

“Hah? Ah...Yeah, seems like I had my fists work overtime today. But that’s okay. Nothin’ a little licking can’t heal. More importantly, we have to get outta here. Seems like this prison is part of the plants exhibition floor. Once we get out of here, we’ll be back in the metal forest. I don’t know the way, but if we just walk ‘round, we should be able to reach the exit eventually.”

You ask him about his doppelganger.

“Aah? Ahー I doubt that piece of trash will show himself for a while. I purposedly made that sound earlier to lure him ‘way from here. I punched one of the displayed artworks and made it so it would drop down after all. Just a lil’ trick I used a lot when I was a kid. However...He’ll realize soon enough, so if we want to get away, we have to move now.

My bad, gonna have to carry ya on my shoulders for a bit.”

Yuma lifts you on his back.

“Let’s go! Gotta get out before that jerk catches us!”

*TIMESKIP*

Yuma runs through the fake forest with you.

“Ya alright? Your breathing’s heavy, ya know? Ugh...You don’t sound ‘kay at all. Speaking with such a weak voice. Haah...Not only is this floor hella big, there isn’t a clear path laid out either. It might take a while to find our way out. I should probably heal your wounds first. I’m lettin’ ya down, ‘kay?”

He slides you off his back.

“Don’t go cuttin’ yourself on the plants ‘gain, ‘kay? However, being in the bushes like this is perfect for hidin’. Do your wounds hurt?”

You explain.

“Haah!? You’re paralyzed? The fuck!?”

You tell him about the apple.

“Ah! That apple...He fed it to ya as well!? Also, if that was a lump of magic, he never intended to come to an agreement in the first place! Fuck! I was prepared for poison, but magic!? He sure uses some dirty tricks despite takin’ on my appearance.

But, why is it still lingerin’ in your body? I don’t feel numb anymore at all.”

You shrug.

“Haah...Guess wreckin’ our brains over it won’t get us anywhere. Anyway, it’d probably be best of get rid of that paint magic or whatever’s inside of ya, right? Who knows what other symptoms you might develop otherwise. That bastard said it dissolves in your blood, right? In that case, i just need to suck it all out.”

You frown.

“Yeah. I’ll suck your blood and get rid of it. Don’t worry ‘bout me, ‘kay? Seems like it doesn’t work on me after the first dosage. Besides, magic or whatever, it pisses me off that there’s this weird substance inside of you.”

Yuma shuffles closer.

“I allowed you to get this beaten...I wish I could get rid of all the bite marks as well. I’m beggin’ ya. Just leave everything to me.”

You nod.

“Yeah. Let me make it up to you. (2)”

He runs his fingers across your skin.

“You were bitten on your neck, shoulder and...Fuck! These bite marks make it seem as if he was tryin’ to eat ya alive. He left these deep wounds on what belongs to me...I’ll overwrite all of them. I’m starting from the shoulder.

...Ugh. He even left scratch marks.”

*Smooch*

“Don’t worry. I’ll make it feel so good, so won’t even be aware of any pain. I’ll suck it out gently, lulling you to sleep with my fangs. Just like this...Slowly...”

Yuma bites you.

*Sluuuurp*

“...You’re makin’ a nice expression. Just let yourself go. ...That bein’ said, the taste of your blood has changed. Even though I like the usual sweetness of it. It also reeks of paint. Is this the magic?”

You tell him he doesn’t have to swallow it.

“Aah!? Listen, even with this shit mixed in with it, do you really think I’d spit out your blood? Besides, as you can see, I’m totally unaffected. Just worry ‘bout yourself, ‘kay?

...Haah...You mighta been tryin’ to hide it from me, but your hands have been shakin’ this whole time.”

You try and hide your hands.

“Idiot. Did you really think you could fool me? Haah...”

He pulls you closer.

“Ya must have been scared, huh? I’m sorry for leavin’ you by yourself. But, I’ll definitely never let ya go again.”

You nod.

“Yeah. I’ll promise. I’ll stop your hands from shakin’ too. I’m gonna bite your neck...’kay? I’ll embrace you, so feel free to cling onto me as well.”

Yuma embraces you.

“Make sure to feel me, ‘kay?”

He bites you again.

*Gulp gulp*

“Haah...You’re holdin’ back your voice without me having to ask ya? Hehe. We’d be in trouble if he finds us after all. However, isn’t it rough on your part to not be able to let out the pleasure? Mmh...”

*Smooch*

You whimper.

“Look at those greedy eyes. If it weren’t for the current circumstances, I’d love to take my time to tease you...Oh well, we can leave that for when we get back home.

This place’s last, right? I’ll suck all that nasty stuff out of ya. Here I come...”

Yuma bites you one last time.

*Sluuuurp*

“Haah...”

*Gulp gulp*

“...Heh. Your face as you desperately try and endure it really gets me as well. Aah...I can’t hold back. However, I have to leave it at this. The smell of paint has disappeared as well. Ah, you’re still numb?”

You shake your head.

“Good! Guess I got rid of it all. That piece of trash...Serves him right!”

You ask if he is alright.

“Yeah! I’m totally fine. The effects of the paint might not work on me ‘cause I’m not a pureblood Vampire. Blood flows from the heart, right? Someone like yourself who holds the heart of a pure demon might be easily affected by it, don’t ya think? ー After all, it’s paint that acts by mixing in with the blood.

Well, whatever. We just have to get past that bastard and make our way outta here. That’s all.”

You agree.

“Yeah. Let’s go. The tricky part is gettin’ outta this forest...huh?”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) He uses the phrase 舌が肥える or ‘shita ga koeru’, which literally means ‘your tongue swells’ but has the meaning of someone having a refined palate and therefore also being a little more picky with tastes.

(2) I had to listen to this part a couple of times because he is whispering, but I believe he is saying 恩にきる or ‘on ni kiru’, which means you feel indebted to someone/to do something. In this case, Yuma is feeling guilty for letting her get assaulted by his doppelganger.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #yuma mukami #diabolik lovers zero #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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modestmondays · 7 years

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Calling Out Lapis Lazuli

Last week, I wrote about how Steven finally called out Ronaldo at the end of Rocknaldo, after making excuses for him and putting up with his behavior. And at the end, I wrote that I hope this presages him calling out Lapis Lazuli. Some people understood why I said that, but a few were confused. So I’ll elaborate on the concept here.

First of all, though, I would like to direct your attention to this post: Lapis, Jasper, Malachite, and Abusive Relationships. I know it’s a long post, but it’s the shortest I could make it. It’s by no means perfect, but I think it adequately explains my thoughts on Malachite, and why I think Lapis was the abuser in that relationship. I won’t be repeating it here, although I’m happy to answer follow up questions on either of these posts.

The rest of this got pretty long (also a bit disorganized, and I probably forgot some important parts, since I wrote it while baking), so I’ll put it under a cut:

Second, let’s make a short list of people Lapis Lazuli could consider apologizing to:

1) Jasper, obviously

2) Steven and Connie, for nearly drowning them

3) Greg, for breaking his leg

4) pretty much everyone on earth, for the stunt she pulled in Ocean Gem

5) ...and possibly for whatever terraforming she was here to do during the war

6) did I mention Jasper?

7) Peridot, for how she treated her in Barn Mates (more on this later)

8) arguably the Crystal Gems, but both sides are in the wrong here, and it’s not like Peridot has ever apologized for her attacks on the CGs (or vice-versa)

9) oh, and Jasper

Now, a list of apologies that Lapis has actually made:

1) “Don't put me in charge! Oh, sorry. I mean, y-you shouldn't trust me with the boat.” (Alone at Sea)

2) “We're very sorry for your marriage.” (Gem Harvest)

...and that’s it.

Not only has she had the chance to apologize (she’s had speaking appearances in just over a dozen episodes now), but she’s specifically been called out for her actions, multiple times, and chose not to acknowledge or apologize for the things she did to hurt others.

The first time she was called out, admittedly, was not to her face. Remember Greg singing “she was a riptide queen and she was super mean!”? But then Steven responded, “Hold the phone! I’m 13, and it’s impossible for someone to be my friend and a bad person.” Then he sings the “she was trapped in a mirror” song to remind us why Lapis was sad.

Okay, great. But being sad and wanting to go home doesn’t make hurting people acceptable. Even if you’ve experience trauma, you’re still responsible for your own actions. You still need to own your own mistakes. People will (hopefully) understand, and not hold it against you, especially if you take steps to change your behavior, but you shouldn’t expect your friends to make excuses for you. That’s not fair, and it’s not okay.

Lapis got called out again by Greg, in Alone at Sea:

LL: “Steven, who is this?” G: “Uh, Greg Universe. You broke my leg trying to use the ocean to fly back to your homeworld?" LL: “Lapis Lazuli. Nice to meet you.“

Really, Lapis? You won’t even acknowledge breaking his leg? Classy.

But again, we find out that she’s upset and stressed out about Malachite! So apparently it’s okay that she doesn’t apologize, or that she lashes out at people who don’t deserve it. Again, this is Steven’s fault, too, for enabling her behavior here.

Lapis literally calls herself out later in the episode, when Steven calls Jasper terrible: "I'm terrible! I did horrible things! I-I broke your dad's leg. I stole Earth's ocean! Go on! Tell me I'm wrong!”

Steven has no answer for this, because he can’t reconcile those things with their friendship. He’ll need to, eventually.

And Lapis got called out again in The New Crystal Gems, this time by Connie. We’ll switch to images for this one. Connie comes over to Steven’s house, expecting it to be empty, but finds Peridot and Lapis in the bathroom. Lapis asks Peridot who Connie is:

“I almost drowned a lot of people” says Lapis, while breaking eye contact to stare directly into a mirror. Subtle, they ain’t.

But anyway, even if Lapis has started to acknowledge some of the hurts she’s caused, she’s done nothing to apologize or change.

Now, that may be a controversial assertion. The Lapis we’ve seen in Barn Mates, Beta, and Back to the Moon doesn’t seem a whole lot like the Lapis from Mirror Gem/Ocean Gem, The Return/Jailbreak, Chille Tid, or even Same Old World.

For this part, I need to speculate a little bit. I do think Lapis is in “retirement” as Connie put it, and as Rebecca Sugar explained in this interview:

“There is a part of [Lapis] that’s afraid of her own power, she’ll sit and read magazines, laying around like she’s retired. But that strength she exerts […] she can take it very far to get control over her own situation again and she’s aware of that,” Sugar said.

I think that they’re essentially putting Lapis “on hold” while they move other character and plot arcs forward, and I speculate that this is because her arc won’t make sense without more context (in particular, we know very little about pre-war Homeworld, or what it was like for Lapis, Sapphire, and Ruby. I suspect/hope we’ll see some Lapis and Garnet development once we finish the Jasper/Pearl/Pink Diamond narrative).

But part of the reason this works for Lapis is because she’s good at playing along--until she doesn’t want to anymore. We saw this in Mirror Gem, when she was “beach summer fun buddies” with Steven until he hesitated at her offer to return to Homeworld. She repeats what others want to hear (at first very literally) and shows them, not her true self, but a mirror of what they expect to see. We’ve only seen the occasional glimpse of the real Lapis under that mask.

We’ve seen Lapis just going along with whatever others suggest in Hit the Diamond (Steven’s baseball plan) and Beta (Peridot’s meep morps, Camp Pining Hearts marathons, remodeling, etc). Not once does she take the lead and offer her own ideas or suggest her own preference for activities. Even in Gem Harvest, it was Peridot’s plan to grow vegetables. Lapis will only concede that the barn can get “a little lonely”.

But it wasn’t clear that she was just playing along until we saw what happened in The New Crystal Gems. That, I think, supports this reading. Because when Peridot takes charge and makes herself “the Garnet” Lapis literally plays along by pretending to be Amethyst. But when she gets fed up with Peridot bossing her around, she finally asserts herself, and tries to take control of their little game (and Yellowtail’s truck).

Connie snaps them out of it, with a Steven-style speech, and later takes them to task with a Connie-style one--but by then Lapis has her mask back up. Still, with Steven gone, she was able to let some of her frustrations show, and flirt with the idea of really being in control.

The reason she’s been playing along, of course, is that she’s stuck on Earth. Lapis does genuinely care about Steven, and she wants to protect him and spend time with him, but she already knows that if she asks him to choose between her and the Crystal Gems, he’ll pick Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. Again. So she doesn’t ask. She pretends that everything is fine, and so do they. Everyone involved has a lot of practice pretending everything is fine, as we know all too well.

But everything isn’t fine. We’ve seen the cracks--obviously in Jail Break (both in her cell and as Malachite), but also in Gem Harvest (”[the corn] would really hate the table”) and The New Crystal Gems (”There is no Lapis. Only Garnet.”). And even in Barn Mates.

So let’s talk a bit about Barn Mates. Because this is another episode where Steven pushes people her cares about into reconciling, except this time there’s no musical number, and no actual reconciliation.

Lapis blames Peridot for dragging her back to Earth, and for interrogating her (which we never see on screen, but do see Peridot write an apology card for, so we have to assume it was not something Lapis volunteered for).

Meanwhile, Peridot’s primary defense is a pragmatic one: she needed an informant, and Lapis Lazuli was the only gem on Homeworld who had set foot on earth in the last 5,000 years. Hence, taking her along and interrogating her. But necessity is no defense, and, by the same token, Lapis’s hurt is no defense for how she treats Peridot here.

Lapis demands the barn, though she has wings and can fly and could literally live anywhere. But since she wants the one place Peridot has made her home, Peridot needs to leave? Nice. And while Peridot’s attempts to win Lapis over re-awaken Lapis’s various traumas (Malachite was a bad time for her even though she was the abuser, and so was being trapped in a tape recorder the mirror.) that’s no excuse for her behavior. Not that she ever apologizes, of course.

In the end, only the sudden appearance of the Rubies (and a possible threat to Steven) forces the two of them to paper over their differences. Lapis starts to play along, again, because she sees that Steven won’t give up on this. So she gives in, for now.

We’ll see how Lapis Lazuli’s development proceeds in future episodes. Like Garnet, she’s trapped on Earth because of a fusion she made here, rather than by virtue of having joined the Crystal Gems. I hope that both of them will get a chance to resolve some of their fusion-related issues (cough Sugilite cough), and that we’ll hear from them what Era 1 Homeworld was like and why they both miss it.

We need to understand Era 2, the war, and Era 1, before Steven can bridge the gap between the Crystal Gems and Homeworld. We’ve had Amethyst and Peridot as our Era 2 gems, Pearl and Jasper as our war gems, and I hope we’ll have Lapis Lazuli and Garnet as our Era 1 gems.

Because this story isn’t going to end with the two sides fighting out a 5,000 year old war. We saw how poorly that went, for everyone, the last time around. This time, there has to be a new approach. We’ll see it in miniature, I think, between the Crystal Gems and the Homeworld Trio, and perhaps we’ll see a larger version with Steven, the Cluster, and the Diamonds. I remain hopeful that the ending will be worth the wait.

#steven universe #lapis lazuli #discourse #abuse

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potorgaret--inactive · 4 years

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Day 252 / Sep 8

Eze. 31-33

31: In the 11th year, God says to Ezekiel Pharaoh (the Assyrian) was the tallest Lebanese cedar in Eden Well fed and nourished, by many waters, the animals and nations lived under its shadow But the tree grew haughty, so God sent Nebuchadnezzar to chop it down Gone are the shadows and the nations in the shadows No tree ever grew as tall, and all will be going to the pit eventually In those days, there was mourning and the rivers were held back Despite being the tallest there ever was, it still died a horrible death

32: At the end of the 12th year, God again prophecies against Egypt and the Pharaoh He is like a monster in the rivers and he will be caught in a net and cast out onto dry land for the beasts to feast on His flesh will build mountains and his height to the valleys ??? and his blood the waters The sun and moon and stars will be darkened and the nations will fear for their own future The peoples will be amazed and horrified at him All this due to Babylon and its king Egypt will go down to Sheol with the gentiles They will fall by sword and will meet Assyria and ancients in the land down below Elam, Edom, Sidon and the Northerners are all there Pharaoh and his armies will be consoled by others doomed to the same fate

33: Yahweh tells Ezekiel to speak to the children of Israel, telling them that when the doom shows up, if the watchman sounds the trumpet and the people don't respond, then they deserved to die But if the watchman doesn't sound the trumpet, their deaths are on his hands The watchman is Ezekiel and his job is to turn the people away from sin If a wicked person turns good, their wickedness won't be counted against them; however, if a good person turns wicked, their goodness won't be counted for them At this moment, a man comes in, who's just gotten here from Jerusalem The city has fallen Ezekiel says he was able, but remember in Chapter 3 where God says he will be silent Well, now's the time for Ezekiel to speak God thinks that the people in Judah think God gave them the land as the promise to Abraham However, the newcomer/Ezekiel tells him that they're really bad Violating the commandments, worshipping idols, very violent bad Even the common folk in the Judean countryside are wicked, and they'll be eaten by the wild beasts as the land wastes away God says the people come to Ezekiel to listen to his words of love, but only pretend to heed them, but in reality, they don't do anything To them, Ezekiel's just crazy But it'll come as a big "told 'ya so!" when everything Ezekiel says will happen does in fact happen

online band will surely be interesting; Hololive English this Saturday!!!!!

"Yahweh will fight for you, and you shall be still." Exodus 14:14 WEB

#bible #religion #reading #biblebriefly #ezekiel

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rsadasiv · 4 years

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6/3/2017

So, at 4:30 on Friday afternoon I get the Bat Signal that I need to dial into an emergency bridge line to troubleshoot a production problem. Turns out that the system in question has already been down for several hours (unfortunate, but not terrible) and that we are going to breach a RegSCI SLA if it is not up by 6:00 (bad, potentially very bad, involving getting the head of the SEC on the phone and then deciding if the global financial markets can still operate). So there is some tension/anxiety/stress on the call, but we get the system back up by 6:05, and then there is another, smaller, follow on issue (hey, we dont breach that SLA until Saturday morning) and finally I get off the call around 7:30. I check in with the guy who is running the Friday night drops (part of the workload is that instead of being the junior member of a team with a limited scope of responsibilities, Im now the manager of the team and we have about 5x the number of responsibilities). The Friday night guy says that hes had some stuff go south and he is running behind, so I pick up his 8:00 drop so he can try and catch up. The 8:00 drop lasts for about 30 min, the app team says it will take them about an hour to validate so I say fine, Im going to head home, text me if you have problems and I’ll dial in later to follow up.

Around 6:10, when it became clear that I was not going to get out at a reasonable hour, I texted Mrs. S. with the stuck at work, home late dinner? message. I got no response, but I have terrible cell reception in my office and she is usually stuck in evening rush hour traffic then anyway, so whatever. When I’m walking to my car I check my texts and I get the following exchange.

> ?

> Just about to leave Rockville

I am out with an EPA budget contact

Told the kids to order pizza

No tonsure they did

Not sure

Spell check hates me

Need to know the approps committee sentiments since interior and EPA have same committee

Arvind should have ordered pizza

Are you already home

> No just leaving Rockville

Well I told them to order pizza by 6

Doubt they did

Arvind not answering text

I get home and yes, they had not ordered pizza (I wasnt hungry. He wouldnt do it. Etc. etc.) So I order the pizzas. Turns out they hadnt fed the dog either, so I fed the dog. Dialed in to check on the drop and it was mildly fucked up, so I started working on that, paid the pizza guy, got the kids to eat said pizza, ate a couple of slices myself while working at the dining table, and finished up around 10:30. The kids had also not walked the dog, and he had just finished wolfing down his food, so I closed up the laptop and took the dog for an (anxiously awaited) walk.

When I return from the walk its around 11:30. The kids are back to playing their separate video games and one shouts down Mom says you have to go pick her up. See, I told you dont blame me. Which leads to the following series of texts.

Some background we used to own a Ford Escape, and I currently drive a Ford Fusion.

> Where are you?

Prop 21 f and 14th

Diane is sick

As shot and her husband is not answering text or phone

F and 14th

Sick as shit

Garbage bags and car needed

> Ok

Are you on the way

> Gearing up

K cause we need a I escape

Escape

> You are getting a Fusion

Uber

> Im in the car are you taking an uber?

No I thought you were sending an Uber

We are still here I hope street with Diane Berring

Boarding

I am ok although no dinner

To be clear she is barfing

Autocorrect is vicious

Let me know when you are 5min away so I can get her out of the bath too

Bathroom

She is refusing saltines

I would eat them am hungry

Had to leave them in bathroom with her

Srsly let me know when you are 5 min away

She is in bad shape

When I get to the bar there is an open hydrant spot right in front so I park there. Go in, find Mrs. S. (who is busy texting Die wrthls mortherfrucker to her friends husbands phone), pay the check (eight Seven and Sevens, five Scotch and sodas), go back to the womens room, get her friend out of the stall, clean her up a bit, and walk her out of the bar, picking up her purse, shoulder bag and commuter cup en route. Get her into the back of the car (on top of the dog blanket, surrounded by towels and garbage bags) and ask her Diane where do you live?.

Diane (pretty confidently) recites an address, spelling out the street name and adding an accurate initial direction (take the 14th street bridge). I put it into google maps on my phone (its about a half hour away from downtown, in the opposite direction of our house). Diane spends a few minutes muttering things like Im so sorry, you are such a good friend, blah blah blah and then says I think Im going to take a little nap and passes out in the back seat. I can hear her snoring, so I know she isnt dead, and I keep driving towards her address.

Eventually Google Maps says that we have arrived. Its a dark suburban cul-de-sac, sort of hard to read the house numbers but whatever, hopefully we are close enough, so I park the car and we start trying to get Diane up. She moans and retches some, but we get her out of the car and on her feet and try to start moving towards the house. Instead, she turns around, points at the house across the street and says that one.

She walks straight towards the door, not taking the driveway or the path, just staggering directly across the grass and up the hill. The house is dark and we cant find her keys (are they in your purse? In the shoulder bag? Are they in a special compartment?) so I go back to the car to get my phone/flashlight while she pukes into the flowerpots. We find her keys, and of course there are like 72 different keys on the key ring, so she tries some keys, and then we try some keys, and then she starts banging on the door while we try more keys. Eventually she looks at the door and says this door is red. My door isnt red.

So we take her back across the street, to the address she had originally given us, which does have some lights on (and has a black door), and we start the whole keyring dance again, but within a couple of seconds a short Hispanic woman opens the door and says Miss Diane, so we push Diane through the door, drop her bags in the foyer and go back to the car.

On the drive back Mrs. S demands to listen to Maroon 5s greatest hits at top volume and promptly falls asleep. We get home, I park the car, grab her stuff, and go around and open her door hey honey, wake up. Were home. C'mon - you just have to walk up the stairs. She wakes up, tries to stand up, sits back down, leans out of the car door, and starts barfing on my shoes. I wait for that to end (one of the benefits of hard alcohol is that the volume of puke is significantly lower than from lower alcohol options) and get her into the house and onto the couch (where one of the kids is still playing video games). I give her a mixing bowl and some water but she is already passed out. I tell the kids they need to stop playing video games and go to bed, and I go to bed myself. Its 1:30.

Today Mrs. S is down with a debilitating hangover and I am running a birthday party for six fourteen year olds. Good times.

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salediscountggdb-blog · 5 years

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silversbackstory · 6 years

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The beginning.

Despite the ravages of war, and the cries of monsters and humans alike on the surface as the fighting continued without a sense of ever stopping. Life for regular monsters was... consistent. You got up. You got yourself ready. You went out. Either to work or to assist in the fight between monsters and humans. You took care of family. You took care of friends. You proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you could be strong if need be in whatever way was appropriate for you. Thus it was that Sans was born. Comic Sans Serif. A skeleton monster born to two skeleton monsters who had been together since their soul bonding 3 years previously. He was born with a ready made grin on his face and a look in those pinpricks that many who saw him stated he looked as though he was going to laugh. Thus his mother came up with the name Comic. For he seemed destined to be a great comedian. His Father, a warrior for monster kind in the great battle desired that his son do more than such a mediocre job. He needed him to be of a more serious nature. He gave him the name of Serif. A name that turned out to be used only when Sans was in trouble or needed to lose the desire to joke and prank. A name was needed to tie them together. To make the baby bones into a full grown adult some day. Sans was chosen as that name. So for a small skeleton a large name was given, and yet other monsters decided it fit him somehow. Though he was born in times of great strife, because of the challenges of keeping enough monsters in the world so there would always be more to take the place of the fallen, he grew up reasonably happy. His father taught him magic use and fighting skills when he was home, and his mother taught him to have a more gentle nature. To care for and protect. He was given magic regularly to help him grow strong and to help him stay safe. Normal food, while harder to come by than when times had been peaceful, was always on the table and he learnt to make friends quickly and easily in those days. Always looking forwards to the day he could eventually join his father and help in the efforts of bringing the humans back to a place of equality instead of the superiority they wanted. The surface, while amazing for what it was,sunlight, the stars, the moon,the animals and lands... was ravaged by the efforts of the very ones who wanted to only protect them, the monsters though... they were losing. 4 years passed.. 4 years which saw Sans grow stronger, ever stronger in magic, and always a little glow in those sockets that suggested there was something more that he refused to share just yet. 4 years before the skeleton family decided to grow their family once more. More monsters were dying than before, more monsters were needed. King Asgore had put up a decree that any who succeeded in creating new life in these troubling times would not go unrewarded for their efforts. For a monster who is not happy and content, who is not in a place where life is supposed be easy to raise, is not usually one that can reproduce, a natural instinct that few could overcome without strength of soul and will. A new skeleton monster was however created. A new souling which took every part of his Mother’s energy as it grew. Her magic no longer channeled towards helping Sans grow further, but now pushed towards helping the new babybones take form and grow inside of her. It would have been easy for Sans to reject and envy his soon to be sibling, but with his Father away more and more from the war, he took on his role as the man of the house with vigour. Practicing his magic attacks and defenses even when he should have been studying. By the time Papyrus was almost ready to be born their Father had not been seen for around 3 months. Sans and his mother both starting to fret that sooner or later his dust would be discovered on the now barren fields. Yet they would never get to find him. a month before the new monster was born, a tragedy occurred. The monsters lost. Forced backwards further and further, they simply could not keep up with the rate the humans continued to multiply and help each other out to destroy the threat that had only wanted to live in peace on the surface. The final monster forced through the cave, each monster heard a sound that would stay with them for the rest of their lives. The sound of earth being rearranged, a mountain growing up around them, locking them away in the very place they’d been trying to seek refuge. A barrier erected to prevent their ever leaving Underground. Born to only one parent, he was given only one name. Papyrus was born amidst this time of mourning, but without her mate and without being allowed to know what had become of him... she was no longer the cheerful mild mannered monster she had always been. Weak and despondent she tried to raise Papyrus, but Sans, the young man of the house slowly and gradually continued to take over in order to keep his family safe. Strong. Taking over the responsibility of feeding Papyrus magic seemed only natural to the young skeleton. He had plenty right? Even if he was still growing, his little brother needed him. His mother needed him. He offered up more of his own magic to keep both fed and safe. Not an ideal situation, but this was still a full family, monsters left them to their own devices as much as they had to, offering up what help they could which Sans in his pride declined. They didn’t need help. They had -him-. A small monsters magic can only sustain 3 monsters for so long though, and their mother grew weak, offering her own magic to the youngest of the children along side of Sans. Papyrus growing strong on more than his own fair share. Their mother steadily declining into a state of apathy and uncaring until one dark day she drew Sans aside, a promise demanded of the now 5 year old. A promise that he would always look after his brother, always stay with him. Keep him safe. Help him grow strong and big. No matter what. Had she been fully in her right mind, perhaps such a promise would not have been requested, not of a five year old. The responsibility was heavy, but it was laid upon the young skeleton’s shoulders as his to bear as slowly, dust filled the room. It was Sans’ first time seeing and tasting dust. It would not be his last. When the soul that had sustained his mother hovered for a few precious seconds and then shattered, Sans knew. He knew what was to happen. He would take Papyrus. The other monsters would find a place for them to live right? He took the younger monster, liftng him up against his rib cage and cuddling him close and tight. “It’s going to be ok Papys.. you’ll see.. they’ll help.. they have t-...” At that moment he heard voices, other monsters arriving having heard his call for help. Discussing together what would be done. “A shame he’s older and so headstrong... no one will take him. We can get the brother adopted though right? He’s young enough, he’ll be able to forget in no time.” Sans’ sockets widened. He’d promised hadn’t he? He’d keep Paps with him. How could he keep him safe... if he wasn’t -with- him?! He drew the tiny ball of bones closer to his chest, hugging him just a little too tightly, drawing out a squawk of irritation from the younger monster. Drawing the attention of the adults who turned to see a small skeleton racing as though his life depended on it, towards the front door. “Leave us alone!” He raced, his bones hurting from the strain of the exercise, and the panic forcing his soul to pulse rapidly. From the weight of his brother. From the lack of magic after months of never having enough to keep himself fully charged. Yet footsteps behind them told him he should not stop. Never stop. Run. Keep running. Keep running... Nowhere to run to. He had to get out.. had to.. had to... A sharp flash of white shimmered in his sockets, left socket switching to a vivid blue. All the magic he could muster being used in that split second to create... a door? Was htis his escape? It would have to do. He pushed it open, his pursuers too close for his liking behind him. Darkness greeted him. At first pitch black and then.. slowly.. pinpricks of white glittered everywhere in the distance. A soft clicking sound destroying the almost deafening silence that had pervaded until that moment, making him aware of just how quiet it -had- been. Another door. Sans panting softly, almost out of magic, but.. it would do right? It would have to. His followers still close on his heels, just close enough to see the door open.. and seconds before they could reach it and get through.. close and vanish. Sans throwing himself through the door tumbled, still holding his brother close to his chest as he looked around the now unfamiliar landscape. Where.. even were they? Did it matter? He couldn’t hear the adults chasing him. They were free. He gave out a tired little cheer, before collapsing on the ground, his brother held close. Out of magic. Out of time...but safe. “St..stay w’me Papys.. please.. stay with me.. don’t.. don’t go...” Not that he could. At just under a year old the smaller monster wasn’t yet even fully crawling, and this area was new and a little scary. He huddled closer to Sans, pulling on his top to ask for sustenance. Sans giving out a little sob. He had nothing left yet but.. “In a min Papys... in a min.. ‘ll.. ‘ll feed you when ‘ve rested..”

#backstory #chapter one #birth and escape

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meganambers · 6 years

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It is said that Dallas hip-hop has always played in the shadows of Houston’s more popular hip-hop scene, but for Dallas rapper SHIIK, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Born Dominique Deshun Harris, the 26-year-old rapper recently released his latest project, “Kartoonz & Hood Movies” in April and as he prepares for the birth of his new son, he sat down with me and shared his musical influences, his plans for 2018 and why he feels the current music scene is “like Sheep as long as its ignorant“.

Who do you credit as the influence behind your music?

My influences in music have a very wide range. I was raised under 6 Brothers & Sisters so my music taste is wise beyond my years. Not in any specific order but, my Pops, He used to be a DJ when he got out the military and kept us on everything since birth from the 50’s to the early 2000’s. Because of my old man, I am never out of tune at any function no matter the age. I can vibe with anyone on anything cause of my dad.

My mother is a major influence on me, she’s from Louisiana and has an ear and voice for music. But beyond that, she is the real reason I started rapping. It may have been around my 18th birthday and was having trouble understanding a few things and controlling my frustrations; so she bought me a [writing] pad and told me started writing and from there she planted a seed that helped me grow into the artist I am today. My Brother Damien, who is also a rapper, showed me early on how to be a lyricist and paint pictures in my music. My wife Dionna I write the best music when we have our growing pains, and she keeps me motivated to stick to my music and never change up!

What hip-hop albums would you consider pivotal to your career?

Man, That is tough. I grew up on it all, but ones that really made an imprint on me as a kid had to be; Dr. Dre’s Chronic Album, Geto Boys’ My Mind Playing Tricks On Me, Chamillionaire’s Mix Tape Messiah, LL Cool J’s Bad Album, Lil Wayne’s Carter 1-3,

Kanye West’s Graduation, Wiz Khalifa’s Kush & Orange Juice, Kid Cudi’s Man On The Moon, Big Sean’s Finally Famous 3, and so many more. I could go all day, but this is just a few albums that really had a major impact on me coming up! But I like pretty much everything, I am from the south so like all of SUC ( Srewed Up Click) music I was raised on all the of the 3rd music. I’m going just say [Houston] as an album too, from the 90s to the early 2000s I kept them on repeat every day. When I was coming up I couldn’t you the name of some albums, people use to “bootlegs” of a lot of my fave artist albums and I could never go off what the seller marked it as I just knew one of my favorite artists has some new soul out and I need it!

When did you write your first song and what was it about?

Shoot, I started rapping at 9 years old and back then it was all just a lot of long verses, no context, hook or anything just a paper with “Babylon” type verses. (Laugh) So technically I started rapping in August of 2017 and It was after a real break up with my wife, Dionna. I had just moved back to Dallas from Alpine, Tx ( Shout out Alpine & Sul Ross State, Those my people) and we had a really bad break up. It seemed like there was no coming back from it. Everything around me stopped making sense, my basketball career had become stagnated and to be honest I was looking for love in all the wrong places. On top of that, I was also coming out of a group I was in called “2 Doms R Better Than 1”, but that’s another story. So it just seemed like nothing was working, and the entire time I kept trying to hide my love and ability in music. But as more situations hit me, the better the lyrics in my head were and then one day I couldn’t hide it anymore. I sat down threw on R.Kelly’s “When a Woman’s Fed Up,” rolled a few packs of Blue Optimos and came up with the track, “VICTIM”.

Who do you see yourself working with as an artist and producer?

Out the gate I have to say, Lyfe Jennings, Miguel, J. Cole, Kendrick Lamar, Kevin Gates, Erykah Badu, India Arie, Wiz [Khalifa], Curren$y, Mo3, Yella Beezy, & Post Malone are some of the artists would love to collab with. However, I can’t leave out Chris Brown, K Camp or Drake. As for producers, I would have to say The Dream, Metro Booming, Sledgron, Skee Beats, Zaytoven, T-Pain, No ID, and Kanye West. I would lose my absolute mind in the dojo with these guys. Just to hear some of the knowledge and stories of how this industry can make and break you is a privilege in itself.

Tell me about your latest project, “Kartoonz & Hood Movies”, and what inspired it?

My latest release project “Kartoonz & Hood Movies”, was released on April 20th. This tape is one for everyday things we see and have to deal with. I am a proper 90’s baby, I was raised on good classic movies about us like, “Colors”, “Menace II Society”, “Boyz N Da Hood”, “Juice,” etc., and by looking at this list and reading my title “Hood Movies” you can see a lot of these are blockbusters and far from “Hood or Low Budget” Movies. I was iterating to the subject and content of those movies about being from the “hood”. It also shows how your circumstance isn’t always forever, it can always be better and as “Man Of your Word” stand on what you believe in! The “Kartoonz” part is self-explanatory, unlike nowadays coming up our cartoons back then had a message every episode, showed you how you can be an everyday hero and believe in you. Little things like that, so that had a major impact on what raised me. “Kartoonz & Hood Movies” is just that giving you who I am in eighteen songs. Just taking you back to the good old days without all the “B**ches & H*es”. But real music! The producers for this one varied from B. Young, Kil’Lab Music, Fly Boi_DBone, RealNDaFields, Jia Beats and Mingo Gomez. I wanted to work with a solid foundation of producers that work just as hard in the craft like me.

Well, as of right now, I am currently in the works of releasing three tapes at the end of July. “Summer Of 65‘” produced By Lu.B Music, “91 Made Me” by produced By YB Beats and “Digital Dope” produced by Mingo Gomez. Each tape has its own producer. The three tapes are collaboration tapes between me and my producers with all original beats that they make themselves. I have no set release dates but they all will be available by the end of July 2018 on all digital platforms.

How important is the idea of connecting with other musicians to you? And how do you believe someone should utilize their connects?

Networking is the key to everything, cause, unfortunately, you can be GREAT at something and never get a chance. But to know someone that knows someone who can pull strings and make life for you a walk in the park or take you to the next level is great. Utilizing the connections is crucial and lucrative in becoming someone in the industry. You have to keep that connection alive. Most people will get a number and never use it or wait until they need something. NO NO NO! You hit them on the regular and see if you can help them or even just ask how things are going. Connections can take you around the world twice, without spending a dime. Just gotta know how to maneuver.

How would you describe your writing process?

I am a machine! I never stop writing and my process is unorthodox, spontaneous and just downright SMOKING FIRE! I am into writing as far as poems, plans or notes so writing isn’t the hard part, but what I found difficult was learning how to control my thoughts, how to make them tell a story and stay on beat.. can be absolutely BRUTAL! But I am a workhorse, and once my heart is made up, in my mind I am unstoppable. I BECAME A MONSTER. Now my process consists of creating the hook and making a song. I also use Instagram as an open gym for practice.

youtube

What is your thought about the current state of the Hip-hop game?

It’s absolute bullshit for those that would enjoy my kind of music. If you aren’t talking about guns, jewelry, women, drugs, and ignorant stuff, your music gets pushed away or skipped. I ain’t knocking any of those artists out there that rap about it, that’s them, it’s what they know and I support it. But I can’t cap that to catch a wave or make a fan. I was raised around real gangsters, and I was brought up as a gentleman. In my line of business, those lyrics are for the FEDS and people you don’t need knowing your business, and besides, I want to rap about me, life, love, memories and occasionally weed. But today’s music scene is like “Sheep,” as long as it’s ignorant and they see someone else liking it they will all run to it. But that’s all the way gravy, it’s a process and the longer the drive, the longer the run will be. I’m quiet, patient and supportive. Hating will get you nowhere.

What would you like for the readers to know about you?

I’m human, I can only give it to you how I see it and believe it. I’m old school and really laid back. I was raised a winner and I’ am a man before ANYTHING. My music is me standing in front of a mirror revealing me just as much as its reflecting.

What advice would you give to young musicians in the game?

Enjoy being unknown, because as soon as you become hot, they [record label execs] will be quick to label you with a style, or a sound without fully given you a chance to blossom and be versatile. BE YOURSELF IN YOUR MUSIC because as soon as you lose who you are, your music will become typical. Going unnoticed doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t or won’t make it. Timing is everything, just stay ready, keep working and believe that your days are coming. FUCK THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS. YOU ARE HARDER TO IGNORE WHEN YOU DONT ASK FOR PERMISSION.

What are your plans as a musician for 2018?

Since I am still a new artist I want to make that a strong point of my path to being signed. I plan on building a HUGE catalog of QUALITY MUSIC towards potential radio singles, visuals and eventually put a real album together before the end of 2018. I also plan on making the Freshman XXL list by the summer, having a 1000 youtube subscribers, and at least 2 Hit singles. I want a lot but I’ve learned pace & patience can take you far if you really want it! So I’m deep in the process and enjoying the ups and downs of the learning process to make it in this industry. My son will also be born Sept 12, 2018, so I am really enjoying that next step of my life. I’m excited! He’s gonna be a Jr! Our Little Baby Shiik, well his mom calls him Biscuit, make sure I add that or she liable to punch me. (Laughs) To sum it up really create a wave, and open doors for my family, my team, and I to exceed expectations in life while we can!

Make sure to follow SHIIK on his Instagram and Twitter and Soundcloud for more updates.

Datpiff (The Thooka Tape)

Datpiff: (KartoonzNHoodMovies)

Google Play: bit.ly/GooglePlayB-Rhye

Up-And-Coming Artist: SHIIK It is said that Dallas hip-hop has always played in the shadows of Houston’s more popular hip-hop scene, but for Dallas rapper SHIIK, that couldn't be further from the truth.

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backslashn · 6 years

Text

Cultist Simulator, Day 5

Continued from Day 4.

5:31 PM - 5 Jun 2018

Help me, I'm going back into it. I'm not expecting to enjoy it anymore. That fizzled out quite a while ago. I just want to see this damn thing finished.

5:43 PM - 5 Jun 2018

Interesting, perhaps helpful bug: on the rare occasion you get two good, timed cards in a stack (like two Erudition in this case), the timer on the bottom card doesn't start until you break the stack or the top card has gone.

6:12 PM - 5 Jun 2018

So I have six Erudition on the table right now. What are the odds I'll be able to get another two before they expire, so I can upgrade my Reason again?

Pretty low, I reckon.

Feels a shame that they'll all go to waste :-/

6:22 PM - 5 Jun 2018

Whoof! There they go up in smoke.

6:34 PM - 5 Jun 2018

What the fuck? I had the Fourth mark, and it's gone and reverted back to the Third mark!

So maybe did the detective prisoner work after all, only I didn't register the difference in the Ascension card? And next time the red hook came around again it just downgraded me?

Fuck.

6:52 PM - 5 Jun 2018

My review of Cultist Simulator:

1:31 AM - 6 Jun 2018

Okay, so the detective prisoner does work, and the problem is that I need to keep feeding this thing prisoners or I keep getting silently downgraded to Third Mark. What a shitty piece of grindy design.

I guess I should have come into this game expecting a whole lot of grind, because both Fallen London and Sunless Sea had their fair share. And both kinda left me to figure out how to progress on my own too.

But the context was different:

Fallen London I played on my phone in short snippets of otherwise dead time. It filled up minutes here and minutes there, and so I was never at the grindstone for very long. As for progress: well I eventually stopped playing when I couldn't figure out how to progress any more.

While in Sunless Sea the grind was actually pleasant and engaging: sailing around, navigating around coastlines and between buoys to slow the rise of Terror, carefully keeping my distance from sea monsters—or attacking them if I felt strong enough. Much more than watching timers.

And progression in Sunless Sea was much better balanced: not only were there always dozens of islands you could go to explore, but I could see—inherently from the fog of war on the map—the places I had yet to explore. So instead of being stuck unable to figure out how to get any further, I only had to look at the map and pick a fogged area to visit next.

These may seem like small differences, but they make a huge impact on my experience of the grind and ability to make progress.

1:49 AM - 6 Jun 2018

Um okay. So this Health upgrade—Steely Physique plus eight Vitality—just finished, and out the other dropped out Steely Physique again (of course), and a new Health (yay), but also all eight Vitality too 😳

I guess… I guess I'm upgrading my health again!

Vital statistics looking healthy:

2:48 AM - 6 Jun 2018

So the big question is: if I feed the red hook thing two prisoners in a row, will that get me to the Fifth Mark? And if so, will it just degrade again, or what?

Anyway, I haven't been even able to get two prisoners in a row yet :-(

In the meantime, I'm very slowly collecting Forgotten Chronicles and the rare Forbidden Epic from the Stag Door, and even more slowly collecting Unresolved Ambiguities and the rare next one from the Peacock's Door (stupid things need repairing each time) with the goal being to keep exploring level 14 locations until they run out. And occasionally exploring lower-level locations, because they're still drip-feeding me a few books and tools.

I'm running pretty low on Spintriae though—except for the Iron ones, they just pile up cause I have no use for them.

I'd sell them at the auction house, except my Explore oven is always busy with expeditions, or with getting locations from Secret Histories.

2:57 AM - 6 Jun 2018

Whoa! This book I just read must be special: it took 90 seconds instead of the usual 60, and has served up five cards!! I'm almost afraid to turn them over.

Three Lore, one Tool, and a hitherto unknown Rite. Interesting.

3:23 AM - 6 Jun 2018

Ridiculous gameplay when you end up summoning a demon just to avoid an Influence decaying into Dread.

3:27 AM - 6 Jun 2018

Still trying to get prisoners. It's not easy at all. Basically I have to wait until a Hunter appears (many, many minutes apart), then send a demon after them, and hope that instead of killing them, the demon merely captures them (quite rare).

Given that, how the hell am I supposed to get hold of two prisoners in a row for the red hook?

Wait, forget two in a row! Just checked the forums and apparently all four of the next marks need prisoners, and just degrade again without them? What the actual fuck?

3:30 AM - 6 Jun 2018

Just remembered there's a way to turn my followers into prisoners, which I guess is probably reliable—but definitely not dependable, cause I can't get any more followers anymore. 😨

Although I can't remember exactly what that method is :-/

Had to look it up, cause all my ovens are busy so I can't even throw cards into them (without starting) to jog by memory.

But good thing I did, because apparently I can convert hirelings into prisoners this way too: and hirelings are a renewable resource!

However I can't go off getting hirelings just yet, because my Explore oven is continually busy with expeditions! 😅

I'll have to shift gears at some point and stop doing expeditions. But I don't want to while there's still books to be found—and these demons are good at them!

5:26 AM - 6 Jun 2018

Managed by pure fluke to capture two Hunters in short order. Had to put one in the fridge to preserve him for longer than the usual 10 minutes, but now I've fed two subsequent prisoners to the Red Hook.

Probably worthwhile to suspend the next expedition and farm more prisoners.

Meanwhile, I got a Visions stuck with an unlucky Fascination (an Influence that I thought decayed into nothing actually decayed into Fascination).

Normally I'm pretty safe from Visions and Despair, as none of my usual actions generate Fascination or Dread.

The only exception being reading new books, which sometimes produces one or the other.

I was talking with @electrondance the other day about Visions, and he'd said he'd been killed by it after three Fascination came, barely noticeable from paintings.

I thought that was odd, because I've been doing dozens and dozens and dozens of paintings and not getting Fascination out of them at all—but I've been sticking to a strict formula of only putting Notoriety in, and the subject is always the same Pawn. It seemed perfectly safe.

Until now: one of my four-notoriety paintings just produced three Mystique, one Contentment, and a Fascination. So now my Visions is even more stuck, and actively hazardous now.

Oops.

5:33 AM - 6 Jun 2018

Visions is a ridiculously bad bit of design though (and Despair is similar, but only a smidgen less bad). So many actions can generate Fascination pretty much at random. Once Visions has got its hands on a Fascination, it never goes away, until you feed it a Dread.

And unfortunately, Dread is pretty hard to generate reliably. What makes this ridiculously bad is that many of the actions that will generate Dread also have a chance of generating Fascination instead. And the Visions will eat that shit up.

And that means you now have to find another Dread to counteract the second Fascination also. And if the Visions gets its hands on three Fascination, you've got sixty seconds to feed it a Dread or it's game over.

And Visions comes into play pretty regular: about once every eight rounds (minutes of game time) or thereabouts.

Despair works similarly, but eats Dread and needs to be fed Contentment—which is a bit easier and safer to generate, hence why Despair's not quite as bad.

To sum up: Visions is a recurring event that has a high risk of killing you, and most of the actions you can take to respond to it are equally likely to make it worse.

It's not an interesting hazard. There's no risk vs. reward decisions involved. It's just a recurring hazard.

5:41 AM - 6 Jun 2018

I've only survived 60+ hours in this single game because (a) I was lucky in the early game while I was still learning this stuff, and (b) because I now exercise caution and hygiene when dealing with Dread and Fascination.

When I get a Dread card, I immediately prioritise generating a Contentment so I can get rid of it before Despair comes up.

Similarly, when I get a Fascination card, I prioritise generating a Dread (through one of two actions that I believe to be reliable—but very inconvenient).

And also by this point in the game I have a generally good idea of which actions are likely to produce Dread and/or Fascination, and simply postpone those actions whenever Despair or Visions (or both!) are in play or coming up in the next round.

Which is boring as hell.

5:45 AM - 6 Jun 2018

The Hunter hazard isn't quite as bad as those: Hunters actually turn up less frequently, and can also be captured, killed, or driven to insanity to get rid of them before they become a threat.

But even when they do become a threat by creating evidence, there are ways to destroy the evidence before it leads to your arrest. So it's a lot less of a threat of instant death.

And more importantly, Hunters arriving, then generating evidence, then arresting you happens over three (or maybe four?) individual Suspicion rounds. So almost every time there's several or many rounds between each escalation of the hazard, giving you time to deal.

Not that Hunters are a threat to me at all anymore—I have a pet demon that goes and dispatches them within seconds of them arriving—but at least in the early game they're a threat to be reckoned with, that can also be countered in several different ways.

Things draw to a close in Day 6.

#cultistsimulator

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