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hellfiremunsonn · 2 years

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Blood Doesn’t Scare Me. Eddie Munson x Reader

Blood Doesn’t Scare Me.

I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT

SUMMARY: You want to get off, but your period makes you a little uncomfortable, but Eddie doesn’t seem to mind.

18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.

AN: Thank u to the one and only for being my beta reader again, love u, ur the best @syddsatyrn

Warnings: fem!reader, blood, period blood, female orgasm, fingering, little bit of Dom!Eddie, mention of friends to lovers, mentions of Eddie cumming in his pants. (IF THERES ANYTHING ELSE I MISSED LET ME KNOW

Word count: 3772

You've been off all day, small things irritating you more than they should, and you're trying to keep your temper down, but the consistent ache of your uterus is hard to ignore. You're hot, and then you're cold, nothing you eat is satisfying you, and if one more customer asks you literally anything you might actually explode. Although you took pride in the fact you only snapped at Robin twice, and she forgave you quickly knowing your period was trying to take you alive, but you still apologized. Knowing the annoying hormones circling your system were making you a bitter bitch to work with today.

What made it worse was how insatiably horny it was making you. Usually you could keep it contained, simply a dull ache between your thighs, but the past couple of days it was heightened to a maximum of three thousand. To the point where the seem of your jeans was pressed against your cunt just enough that you could literally feel your heartbeat in your clit. You were sure that in the right way you might actually be able to cum like this, just from standing and stacking videos. Genuinely hiding a whimper from switching your weight to your opposite foot, the bell above the door jingled. Forcing your voice up a few octaves you say "Welcome to family video" loudly before turning around, dropping your fake exaggerated smile when you realize it's Eddie.

"Hey princess" He says softly and you melted.

You and Eddie had only recently started dating, being best friends for so long, the two of you didn't want to ruin the friendship, but when those little shit teenagers locked you two in a closet in wills basement, claiming it was for 'seven minutes in heaven' you realized it was a lot longer than seven minutes, and that the two of you were in love with each other. Since it had only been a few weeks, you hadn't really been as intimate as you wanted, both of you wanting to take it slow, trying not to rush things. Harder to forget that Eddie made you cum by touching you over your leggings in that closet, and you're pretty sure you made him cum in his jeans, but if you asked him he'd deny it.

You rush to him quickly, burying your face into his chest and inhaling deeply, arms coming around his back to hold him tightly as best as you could, two VHS tapes still held in both hands.

"Rough day?" He said, his own arms coming out to wrap around you. "You're very warm, are you feeling okay?" He tried to pull away to get a glance at you but you held onto him tighter, not wanting the hug to end so soon. He laughed a little, returning his arms to their position around your back.

"A little bit of a rough day" You said sighing into him, pulling away to look up at him, chin tucked firmly into his sternum.

"Well thankfully I've come to rescue your last thirty minutes" His hands came to cup your face, brushing a few strands of hair away and back behind your ears.

"You're truly the best" You said placing a kiss to his chest before removing yourself from him.

Eddie came to visit you often at work, coming to keep you company and to bug Steve when he was here, but sadly today Steve wasn't in. So Eddie settled on sitting on the counter, and judging the cover of each film you brought to the front to rewind.

Eddie had noticed your irritability but didn't say anything until the two of you were alone in his van. The light from the bright sunset slowly dimming from being hidden behind the few houses nearby. "You okay?" He said turning the key to start the ignition.

"My uterus hurts" You said turning to him, cheek pressed against the seat of the car, your bottom lip pushed out into a pout.

"Oh baby" Eddie said sincerely. "I'm sorry, we'll get you home quick, get you all nice and cozy yeah?" He reached over to squeeze your thigh. It was an innocent action, to tell you he felt for you, to let you know he was there for you, but what he didn't know was that it sent more annoying heat straight to your core.

"Y-yeah" You breathed out. "That would be nice" You felt your body warm, thick heat crawling over every inch of your skin, you could feel it coming out of the collar of your work shirt and you silently cringed thinking about how sweaty you must be. A shower is a must when you get to Eddies you decided.

"You sure you're okay though?" He asked again.

"As okay as I can be" You said with a reassuring smile.

When you got to Eddies you excused yourself quickly to hop into the shower, hoping to wash some of the negativity of today off, along with the attempt to get yourself off. You didn't love touching yourself while you were on your period, and never really wanted to finger yourself if it was going to cover you in blood. Often settling on touching yourself in the shower, where if any blood happened to get onto you, or come out of you it would be washed away quickly. You tried multiple positions, one leg up on the edge of the tub, both legs down but your back leaned against the wall, laying down as best as you could, but nothing felt right and you couldn't get yourself even close to an orgasm. With an annoyed huff you shut the water off and wrapped a towel around yourself. Drying your lower half quickly before putting a fresh tampon in. Annoyed at how good it felt when you did it.

Frowning your way back into Eddies room, pulling on the first t-shirt of his your hands touched, tugging on a pair of black boy shorts, ones that hugged your hips perfectly, and crawled into his bed.

It took a few minutes for Eddie to realize you had finished showering and had gotten into bed. Head peaking around the corner of his door with a raised eyebrow. You giggled when you saw him, snuggling yourself a little deeper into his pillows.

"You're getting all comfy, and cozy in here and didn't invite me? Im hurt baby, how could you" He mocked a distraught look, attempting to hide the cheeky smile underneath his dark mess of curls.

You laugh and pull the side of his blanket back aggressively. "Get in here before I change my mind"

Eddie didn't hesitate to skip his way over and jump clumsily into his bed with you. Tucking his blanket around him, and pulling you close, snuggling into the crook of your neck and inhaling deeply. "God you smell so good" he said rubbing his nose along the skin of your collarbone. "So good, all the time, fucking delicious"

You went stiff in his arms, the feeling of his nose against your skin spreading the heat from your core more than before. Whimpering slightly you tried to push him away, feeling too hot and horny with him so close.

"What? What's wrong?" Eddie said pulling back to gage your expression, his eyes flickering all over your face.

"N-nothing m'fine, sorry" You said pushing yourself into the corner of his bed, your shoulders pressing against each side of the wall. Your heart is beating really fast, so fast that you were almost sure if Eddie looked hard enough, he could see the way your chest thumped.

"You're not fine though baby" He said sitting up. "Is it just your period bothering you?" He fumbled with his hands, unsure of what to do with them. He wanted to reach out and hold your hand, or squeeze your thigh, but he was unsure if he could or should touch you right now.

"Technically?" you said, hands coming to the hem of your shirt, folding the fabric back and forth into a tiny accordion.

"Technically?" He asked, repeating your words.

"I just- It's just that- I don't-" Frustrated, unable to phrase it the way you wanted, without it sounding weird, and without making Eddie uncomfortable.

"You know you can tell me anything right? I was your best friend before your boyfriend, and I'll always be your best friend, just now I get to kiss you" He said with a smirk.

You couldn't help but smile, biting the inside of your cheek while you looked at the doe eyed man in front of you. Your heart squeezed.

"I know baby" You said softly, shy under his gaze, returning it to the hem of your shirt.

"So come on then, out with it, give me your secrets" He said in one of his dungeon master voices, a playful smile on his lips as he watched you.

"Um, so I'm horny" You said in a rush, covering your face with both hands.

Eddie laughed for a long time, suspiciously too long. You peaked through your fingers to stare at him.

"Don't laugh!" You whined, kicking him lightly with your foot, he grabbed onto it quickly squishing your toes with his hand.

"That's it? You're horny?"

"Yeah, but I can't like" You turned your gaze away from him again. "I can't get off- I mean sometimes I can, but I can't do what I want, cause the blood grosses me out" You said honestly, the blood did gross you out so instead of trying other methods, you just avoided masturbating at all costs.

Eddie nodded, looking away from you with thoughtful eyes. "Want me to do it?" He said cooly.

You froze slightly at his words, constantly shocked at how calm and collected he could be when talking about things, or asking questions like this. "What?" You choked.

"Get you off, I'll do it, I'd be more than happy to" His eyes slightly darker now, and you couldn't help the way your body shivered at the sight.

"B-but the blood, s'gross and it'll get everywhere" you said glancing down at his bed.

"I don't know if you remember, but I almost died once, blood doesn't scare me"

You swallowed thickly.

"And towels exist for a reason" he said with a shrug, shifting so he was now laying on his side, propped up with his elbow, looking up at you.

"You don't have to, I don't wanna make you uncomfortable" you said moving, trying to relax your shoulders a little, sliding down next to Eddie, mirroring his position. His hand slid up to your waist quickly, pushing and pulling at the skin.

"Baby, I'd be face deep in between your legs right now if you'd let me, promise it doesn't, and wont make me uncomfortable" he said marking an x over his heart.

"Fuck" you breathed. Closing your eyes and trying to regain some sort of composure.

"I wont do anything you don't want me to do, but the offer still stands" his hand leaving your waist to cup your cheek, thumb smoothing down the skin just under your eye, and you hummed, leaning into his touch.

"Please?" you whispered, opening your eyes to look at him.

"Yeah?" he said with a nod, his thumb trailing down the side of your cheek, to your jaw, landing on your bottom lip. He pulled at it softly, letting it flip back into place with a light 'pop'. His eyes flickered across your face, reading your expression to make sure you were okay with it.

You nodded, afraid if you tried to speak, only a whimper would come out.

Eddie leaned in slowly, thumb resuming its gently movements against your cheek until his hand dropped lightly to your throat, warm hand engulfing your senses. Nose nudging lightly next to yours, his breath warm on your mouth, and when you tilted your head to lean in, he pulled back, reviling at the annoyed noise you let out.

"So needy hmm?" he said leaning back in, just as slow, and just as tauntingly. When his lips brushed yours he didn't move away this time, pressing them softly into you and you sighed dreamily. He kissed you gently, and you melted, more and more with each move of his mouth, slow and strategic, getting the exact noises, and responses he wanted from you. Squeezing your throat ever so slightly, causing your breath to hitch and your lips to part, giving him access to slip his tongue into your mouth and you moaned, leaning into him.

Removing his hand from your throat he grabbed at your hips, pulling you onto his lap. Shifting so he was sitting up and leaning against the wall behind him. His erection pressing up against your thinly clothed cunt and you mewled, head dipping forward, chin to your chest.

"You like that pretty girl?" He asked with a small laugh, brushing your hair away from your face, tilting your head back up so he could see you. Eyes closed, and cheeks flushed, you breathed through your mouth, almost panting. "Breathe baby" he whispered.

"Sorry" You said with a small laugh.

"Don't apologize, I love your pretty noises, just wanna make sure you're breathin" Hand trailing down back to your hips and up your back, slipping beneath the shirt you wore, hands warming your skin. "I have an idea" he said while his fingers played with the elastic waistband of your underwear.

"M'listening" you said looking down at him with hooded eyes.

"Take these off, and whatever else you got going on in there" He said pulling and snapping the elastic, causing you to jump slightly. You nodded, biting your lip while hoping to hide some of your blush as you climbed off of him, heading towards the bathroom to remove your tampon before coming back, underwear in a ball held tightly in your fist.

Eddie had laid down a black towel between his legs, back still against the wall, legs splayed out into a v. He smiled wickedly as he patted the spot between his legs, beckoning you forward. "Sit" he instructed. "With your back to me"

You climbed onto the bed, dropping your underwear onto the floor next to you and crawled forward in between Eddies legs, leaning your back against his chest, your knees locking together.

Eddie hooked his chin over your shoulder, placing his hands on each of your knees. "C'mon don't get all shy on me now" his voice low as he pushed your legs apart, grabbing your legs by the pits of your knees bringing them over his thighs and pinning your feet under his calfs. his fingers traced along your skin delicately, up and down the lengths of your thighs, your hips, across your stomach, and he reviled in how your stomach contracted, ticklish under his light touches.

"Pretty, pretty, girl" he cooed in your ear, his breath fanning over the expanse of your neck, and the small bit of shoulder that peaked through.

"Eddie" You breathed, head tipping back into his shoulder, your body slowly melting back into him.

"Yeah baby?" hands moving to your stomach, pressing into the doughy skin, humming in satisfaction.

"Please" Your voice high, and whimpery, almost begging as if he wasn't going to give you what you wanted.

"I got you baby, told you I was gunna take care of you didn't I?" his hands slid back down, squeezing at the skin, where thigh met hip before ghosting one hand over to the burning heat between your legs, fingers dancing along the soft pubic hair you had let grow out. If it was anybody else touching you below the waist you might have felt a little self conscious about it, but because it was Eddie, you knew he didn't care and he never would. As if reading your thoughts he tugged at the hair lightly. "S'cute" he mumbled, while his hand finally slipped down between your legs. The two of you moaned in unison, your head tipping forward, eyes on his hand and the way it moved, but before you could cringe about any blood that might have been there, his free hand came up your throat, pushing at it until you were looking up again. "Eyes up baby girl" he said while beginning to rub slow circles on your clit.

"Oh my god Eddie" His name was barely audible from your mouth and you knew if he wasn't so close to your face he wouldn't have heard you.

Hand moving down further, middle finger grazing your entrance, teasing you slightly before slipping into you easily. "Fucking christ princess" he said moving his head so he could see the way his finger slid in and out of you with no resistance, quickly adding his ring finger just as easily. Your hips began to roll slightly, on their own to chase the high you so desperately wanted.

"M-more" You begged, voice coming out as a small whimper, your throat tightening and your eyes brimmed with tears, being so extra sensitive over the past few days from your hormones made your body feel like it was sparking with electricity. "Please Eddie" you hiccuped, tears quickly falling; down to your neck, wetting eddies hand where it still held your throat lightly.

"You sound lovely when you beg y'know?" he said mockingly, his other hand coming down to continue those slow circles, keeping in time with the quick curl of his fingers inside of you.

You huffed. "Shut it- ah" back arching away from Eddie and he tried to keep you as close to him as he could. "Fuck, fuck, f-uck, just like that Eddie, please, oh my god don't stop"

You were whining, arms coming up to grip at Eddies hair where you could reach, body jerking as it tried to curl in on itself while tingle in the pit of your stomach started to spread.

"Fuck baby, I can feel you clenching down on my fingers, you gunna come f'me?"

"Yes, oh my god" you cried. Tiny fireworks slowly began to ignite inside of your skin, your stomach bloomed, and the sparks buzzed, coursing through every one of your veins until they all snapped at the centre of your cunt. Your orgasm ripping through you so intensely you saw stars, your vision spotty as you rode the waves of it sobbing with pleasure.

Eddie kept up his movements until your hand slapped down quickly onto his wrist. His fingers slipped from you, both hands coming to rest onto your thighs that shook when he freed your legs from the restraint of his own. "Good job baby" he praised, letting your bring your knees back together. Your breathing was ragged, Eddies hands still roaming your thighs gently, giving you space to come back down, body still shaking slightly from a few sporadic sobs, left over heightened emotions and feelings finally able to leave your body. "Did so good, thank you for letting me help you"

You hadn't realized you had your eyes closed, squinting when the sun that filled Eddies room burned your retinas, blinking a few times while they adjusted. You tilted your head up, shifting your shoulders so you could see Eddies face, which was already tilted down towards you.

"There she is" He said with a smile. "Welcome back"

You hummed dreamily, reaching up to scratch at the stubble on his chin, while he quickly pressed his lips to your palm. "Feel better?" he asked.

You nodded, turning your head back with a gasp. "Oh my god"

"What?" Eddie said concerned, leaning forward slightly.

Your thighs were covered in smudged blood, some spots now dry and others still bright red. "There's blood all over me" You groaned, mouth pulling down into a frown.

"Well yeah babe, you have blood coming out of your vagina, what did you expect, should see my hands" He said while putting both of his hands in your lap, palms up. They weren't as bloody as you expected, but still more covered than you would have liked.

"Gross" you mumbled.

"Mother Nature, never said she was nice" he said with a laugh. "Now up, up, up, shower time round two for you miss ma'am"

You giggled, turning in his lap to finally face him. His pupils were blown out, and you could feel his boner against your back the entire time, but not once did he make this about him. "Thanks teddy" you said softly. "M'promise to return the favour, but hopefully you wont cum in your pants again" You teased.

"I just made you cum, I'm covered in your blood, and you wanna talk about making me cream my jeans like I was seventeen again? Right now? You're a menace!" he yelled, hands coming to tickle your waist, the two of you laughing and squirming against each other.

"White flag!" You yelled. "I surrender! you're gunna get enough blood coming out of me to drown this town if you keep making me laugh like that" You said with a huff.

"Ahh well I'll just have to put my fingers back in to keep everyone safe"

"You're the menace here, Edward, not me" You said pushing your back into him a little harder as you stood up on shaky legs, gathering the towel he had laid down into a ball and chucking it into his overflowing laundry basket turning back to him with your hands on your hips. "You comin or what?"

He sighed, smiling lazily as his head tilted to the side. "You're s'pretty"

You blushed, eyes dropping to the floor, already flustered from your orgasm and now from his compliment.

He stretched nosily, arms above his head with his fingers interlocked while he groaned. "Alright let's get this party started" he said with a loud clap. Joining you in the doorway of his room, hands wrapping around your waist to pull you to him, lips coming down to kiss every inch of your face he could get to before you leaned away, a laughing mess.

"So you admitted it" You said cheekily, taking his hand in yours and leading him to the bathroom.

"Admitted what?" He asked, hands never leaving your waist as you bent over to turn the water on, hand under the stream until it was a temperature you liked.

"That I made you cum in your pants" you said looking back at him, smile all too wide.

"You're way too proud of that one aren't you, never gunna let me live it down huh?" he guessed, unable to hide his own smile, matching yours.

"Maybe" you said confidently.

"Maybe" he repeated, leaning down to give you one last gentle kiss before shoving you into the shower, t-shirt still on and everything.

261 notes · View notes

kyuus4ku · 3 years

Note

ryley bae i have no idea if reqs are open or not so feel free to 100% ignore this 🙏

how about a scenario where akutagawa is sick and has a fever and reader takes care of him? him being vulnerable and hesitant but still trusts the reader to wipe his forehead or give him medicine…aku is sensitive to physical touch but lets the reader touch him…i absolutely adore how you capture vulnerability when you write about the characters <33

AGAIN, VERY SORRY IF REQS ARENT OPEN AHAJZJ ILY TAKE CARE 💕

𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀

akutagawa ryunosuke

genre: scenario ; fluff

warnings: none

word count: 2K

a/n: RAI MY BELOVED <3 tysm for ur support😞♥️ yk i've actually been meaning to write for aku for some time now, and your req made me so happy :") aku is a really hard character to write for, but i tried my best, and i really hope you like it😼 take care <3

The morning was bleak. It was gloomy... it was... blank.

Akutagawa didn't know how to describe it— the early hours of the day were usually saturated with tranquility and peace which made getting out of bed a little less overwhelming.

For Akutagawa, it was quite the opposite.

The way everything was so still and calm made him yearn for his soul to be vaporised into nothingness. The fleeting hours of the morning reminded him of how void of meaning the course of life truly was— life always moved forwards, it never rewinded for you to grab on and catch up.

But still, there was a paradoxical companion living across that melancholy, and that was rage.

He wanted to watch the world burn, and he didn't care if he was burned along with it. The unquenchable flame seated deep in his heart made him dream of the impossible: to bring the world to ruins because of how the world effectuated his own soul's self-destruction.

Maybe he just needed coffee.

He threw his legs over the edge of bed, but abstained from getting up because of the evident sharp twinges of pain rooted in his muscles. His throat felt sore, and his head was burdened with a dull, nagging ache.

The cold air enveloped him in discomfort, inducing him to wear a hoodie over his shirt. He sighed— he didn't like being physically impaired. With a low grumble of curses, he got up, a little too fast, and sat back down again.

He looked at the other side of the bed to find it empty. He wondered if you had gone to work without saying goodbye— he never really liked leaving you out of his sight unless he was sure you were safe.

He checked the time— it was 8:46am. Rubbing his eyes in fatigue, he buried his face in his hands and sighed. He had never overslept for work before, but for some reason, he was too tired to care.

It wasn't like him to be this careless, but still, he wished he had slept earlier last night— he was too caught up in his head, and the hours flew past as quick as the midnight thoughts infiltrated his peace of mind.

Though, he remembered the way the obscure sound of your steady breathing next to him calmed his restless mind a little, enabling him to squeeze in a few hours of sleep to sustain him.

Nevertheless, this wasn't like him at all, and a bitter sword of rue was about to crack open his skull if he weren't distracted by the sound of the bedroom door opening.

"Morning~" your quiet voice cooed from the doorway, making his vexatious mood dial down by a few degrees.

He didn't know what was embedded in your vocal cords— your voice was like honey. It was mild and sweet, and it never did anything to hurt him, even if the two of you were arguing— it never bit back in retaliation, and it never even increased in volume to inflict any form of harm on him.

He turned around and met your silhouette— he wished you'd stop stealing his shirts, but never said it, because he thought you looked pretty nice in them.

"Why aren't you at work?" he said in a hoarse voice, massaging his throat as it ached in inflammation.

"It's Sunday," you stated. At this, you walked over and knelt in front of him, lips curving into an endearing smile. You discerned the dark shadows underneath his eyes, and saw that his lips were a little dry.

"Uh oh~ somebody's sick," you teased casually, raising your hand toward his forehead.

"May I?" you asked before letting the back of your hand touch his temple. He didn't respond; instead, he reluctantly leaned forward so that his forehead made contact with your touch. This was quite different from what you were used to back when you two weren't that familiar with each other.

If you looked back at the times you tried to comfort him in the past— whether it was simply by interlacing your fingers into his, or pressing a soft kiss against the back of his hand— oftentimes, you could see that he fell apart at your touch.

His eyes would simultaneously gleam with panic and relief— it was like his heart exploded into a million fragments and then fixed itself back again all at the same time.

Love conveyed through a human's touch was simply unorthodox to the boy who was moulded by words of aspersions and acts of violence. He was more afraid of getting attached to a human being than death itself.

But to your contentment, he got over his fear. No, hold on, that wasn't the right word... perhaps it was the state of being inexperienced with something to the point of indispensable curiosity.

Deep down, he wanted to feel it— even if it ruined him.

Gradually, it became easier to get over the wall of hesitance, yet he never failed to shatter under the pressure of the thoughts which asked 'what if this was the last time I ever feel this way?'

That would ruin him for good.

Yet in your eyes, there was promise. They promised to watch over him and keep him safe, and also to show him parts of the soul he had never himself witnessed nor experienced.

Meaning to say: he trusted you because you gave him a reason to.

"You hungry? I could make some soup for you-" he crinkled up his nose and sneezed before you could finish your sentence. You couldn't help but giggle, leaning forward to take his face in your hands to kiss him on the forehead. Of course you couldn't tell if it was just the fever, but you felt his cheeks grow somewhat warmer under your touch as he refused to make eye-contact with you.

"I'm guessing it would be useless to tell you to stay in bed?" you asked sarcastically, receiving a curt nod in response.

"You can never sit still," you held the back of your neck and sighed dramatically, staring at him with eyes which implored him to compromise his principles and sleep in. He still refused.

Realising it was useless to fight a losing battle, you took his hand and led him out of the room into the kitchen, where he sat right at the dining table with his head buried in his arms.

"This was your fault," he whined in a low voice, "You took me to that fun fair yesterday. It wasn't fun— the crowd must've made me sick."

"I was just trying to get you interested in other activities," you reasoned, bracing yourself for his witty comeback.

"Life in itself is uninteresting," he uttered rigidly. Though time and time again, just like this precise moment, he couldn't help but wonder why you never got bored of him.

You could only chuckle in response as you bustled about the kitchen for ingredients, silently conjuring up a recipe in your mind for the soup you promised to make him. It wasn't long before you found yourself seated next to him with his meal ready. You poked his rib softly and found that he had fallen asleep at the table by accident.

"Five more minutes," he mumbled in a dopey tone.

"Eat first, then go back to sleep," you ordered. He grumbled incoherently and obeyed, sitting up straight to find the bowl of soup in front of him.

"Now I really regret taking you to the fun fair," you chortled as he stared at the soup in daze.

"Told you so," he muttered moodily, grabbing the spoon and stirring its contents. You noticed his hands shaking as he did, and dragged the bowl away from him, stealthily stealing the spoon, too. He stared at you in bewilderment as you carried a spoonful of soup to his mouth, at which he tilted his head back slightly to flounder out words which, if pieced together properly, sounded like 'What the hell are you doing?'

"Trying to feed you, idiot," you expressed tenderly. He squinted his eyes, and decided it was best not to argue with you. After contemplating life, death, and the like, he opened his mouth and tasted some.

"Is it good?" you asked promptly.

"Mmhm," he nodded, trying to get his head around what tasted like drops of heaven. He had just realised he was starving, and now that you had caught his full attention, he shifted his body toward you and crossed his legs on the chair.

"Have you eaten?" he broke the silence which temporarily deluged the atmosphere.

"No, I haven't. Once you get to bed, I will," you replied, rather quietly, because he had the tendency to get quite agitated with the way you failed to take care of yourself sometimes. It was too early for his lectures.

Instead of a verbal response of annoyance, he snatched the bowl of soup from your hands, and having regained his strength by a small degree, held up a serving to your mouth. You rolled your eyes and complied, yet it didn't stop there.

"Akutagawa, this is your food," you argued, but he ignored you. Then you thought of a better justification.

"You do know that I might get sick since we're sharing the same spoon, right?" you tilted your head, smirking charmingly as his face fell, a shadow of realisation tainting his already pale skin. He gave you back the bowl in defeat, and soon enough, he was done with his meal.

The two of you were in the bedroom after a while, and after bickering for about 7 solid minutes, he let you give him medicine, which made him a little too drowsy for him to throw himself into the unforgiving attitude of 'I-can't-believe-I-let-you-give-me-cough-syrup.'

You tucked him into bed and laid right next to him with your head propped up against your hand. His eyes fluttered in exhaustion, yet he tried to keep them open as long as you were there.

"Get some rest, Ryuu," you laced your fingers into his hair, planting a soft kiss against his cheekbone as he frowned in thought. He had something on his mind, and was too groggy to hold it back from escaping his tongue.

"Why do you do all this?" he asked, looking at you with eyes you had never before properly comprehended. They were usually blank— blasé to the intricate emotions of this life or rather, so deeply infused with what every other human endured to the point of resisting any temptation to actually feel in the first place.

This time, they sparkled in gratitude he never showed, but usually meant.

"Don't get sappy with me now," you whispered, grinning, "It'd be embarrassing to know that you're shameless with expressive affection when you're drunk with cough syrup."

"I don't understand a word you're saying," he murmured in reply, closing his eyes finally. A lighthearted laugh escaped your lips as you nestled up against his neck.

"You're gonna get sick, too," he put out.

"Take care of me when I am then," you replied simply, laying your hand on his chest and letting his scent engulf your being, your eyelids eventually losing its strength to stay open. You felt his hand wrap around you to bring you closer.

In a few days, you did end up getting sick just when he had fully recovered, and he took care of you as best he could.

Part of you wished more people saw what you saw when it came to him, but realised that his exclusive acts of care toward you were to be treasured, not shared, because you were the only person he trusted not to render his spirit into pieces and ultimately discard.

Though, if tearing him apart meant unveiling parts of him which he kept reserved and isolated from the rest of the world, you had done it, and he counted his lucky stars each day knowing that you stayed by his side to help him put himself back together.

301 notes · View notes

1tsnoya · 4 years

Note

hi :3 could u do hc for tsuki, kags and semi with a wild sleeper s/o like they r a super deep sleeer but they move soo much and kick n stuff in their sleep >.<

✧･ﾟ𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐨’𝐬 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐫✧･ﾟ𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

💌 kei tsukishima x reader, tobio kageyama x reader, semi eita x reader

🌟 𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 : @spriteandnicotine @fatheadthemango @tokobaby @virgosetter @tobiokvgeyama @bokutoscake04 @introvertatitsfinest @mcuparkers @yokikuu

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

→ oh boy

→ ur talking to the LIGHTEST sleeper ever

→ for example: one time u got up to pee and u could have SWORN u were super quiet. like tip toeing, holding ur breath, and yk what? he still woke up

→ kei: y/n?

→ you, barely awake, just wanting to take a piss, “yes kei?”

→ kei: why are u awake?

→ yea he worries like that

→ anyways

→ let’s rewind and go back to ur first time sleeping over his house...

→ you two stayed up late watching scary and dorky movies together. it was about 2:30 in the morning when u started falling asleep in his lap

→ he poked at ur cheek, “oi. let’s just go sleep, kay?”

→ he had... no clue what he was in for

→ he was sleeping on his back, and u were resting on his chest. u were lightly snoring and he thought it was the cutest thing ever

→ um yea that thought quickly vanished when he started falling asleep, and u kicked him in his legs

→ he flinched awake like ?? what ??

→ he turned to u and u were sound asleep so he was very confused ?? did u mean to do that?? eh it was probably just an accident or a jump from ur dream

→ then u started tossing all over the place

→ and soon enough - u literally ROLLED on top of tsukki

→ kei: -_-

→ ALL he could think about was sleeping but he kept hearing the sheets crinkle from u moving and u were kicking him and just ... it was not was he expecting

→ and ofc u woke up like an angel <3

→ .... he did not

→ he made fun of u and teased u for sleeping like a gremlin >:(

→ so now - when u guys have sleepovers, he makes sure to hold u so u don’t move around all over the place and u just chill in his arms. win win for the both of u <333

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

→ have u SEEN this boy sleep?

→ we’ve seen it ourselves, tobio practically GROWLS in his sleep

→ i conclude.

→ i KNOW he’s a deep sleeper. just look at him. there’s no way ur waking that boy up with a little ‘nudge’

→ you’ve probably already guessed it by now. 1 deep sleeper + another = a disaster

→ kageyama doesn’t kick around in his sleep though, only u do. once he falls asleep, he barley moves. waking up is the only issue

→ since he doesn’t wake up... u just... beat him up in ur sleep lol

→ one time u kicked him so hard, it left a FAT bruise on the side of his thigh/leg

→ at breakfast that morning, he was like “babe, idk what happened but look” and showed u it

→ knowing how much u had kicked around, u already had a feeling

→ you: oh😟wow😳i uh🤔i wonder what happened😀that’s 🤨kinda weird🧐

→ kags: yeah idk it is really weird

→ .......

→ SIGH

→ its very common for u guys to wake up in the weirdest positions

→ the common ones are

u rolled on top of him like a koala

... he’s rolled on top of u and u wake up not being able to move cause GODDAMN who knew this boy was so heavy-

ur leg is over his waist and straddling it

ur arms r spread like a starfish and right in his face

and OCCASIONALLY - u leave him absolute no room to sleep

→ the best part about it though?

→ he really doesn’t mind

→ sleeping in is common since u two are heavy sleepers. if u need to wake up for an event or something, u best bet ur setting 10+ alarms

→ but other than that - lazy days are the best

→ once one of u wakes up, u do ur best to wake the other one n start prepping breakfast

→ tobio starts poking u and stuff and will stare at observe u til ur awake

→ and he’s so blushy when u open ur eyes to just see him, half asleep, admiring u

☆ﾟ.*･｡

→ ur average sleeper

→ hes a little more on the lighter side though

→ and... he gets... so grouchy when u kick him in ur sleep

→ will he ever tell u?

→ no

→ u just know bc he’s all grumpy in the morning

→ one time u woke up to him with a SCOWL yes a scowl

→ u were like, “hm? what’s wrong?”

→ u had kneed him in his... special part... in the middle of the night

→ listen, cuddling with u is semi’s FAVORITE. when the two of u are finally at home, it’s what he looks forward to

→ so he was just holding u, about to fall asleep, and then it happened

→ and he was in ✨PAIN✨

→ homeboy had to go sleep on the couch after that😭😭he COULD NOT

→ there’s been times where he just lies on his back, facing the ceiling, and he just listens to u toss and turn for the hundredth time

→ he likes when u snore though, thinks it’s either the cutest or funniest thing ever

→ and when u start mumbling in ur sleep LMFF

→ he’ll smile to himself and if ur still mumbling or lightly snoring in the morning, MF will not HEISTATE to take pictures or record a video to send to u later‼️‼️

→ “semisemi🖤😠 would like to airdrop (4) photos and (1) video” and they’re all of U!! SLEEPING

→ yes he has an entire photo album of u

→ yes he also picks on u about the way u sleep>:( grrr

→ he’s adjusted though

→ but if it ever becomes TOO much or u kick him in his nutsack again .... he will not hesitate to go back to that couch

612 notes · View notes

bloomyn · 4 years

Note

hey :DD can you do hcs of ushijima, akaashi + ur choice of karasuno boys (separate) reacting to their s/o’s dancing to WAP 😭😭 idk i think it’d be funny LMAO

a/n : this was basically an excuse for me to play ‘wap’ by cardi b ft. megan thee stallion on loop for about an hour , thanks for the request babe !

ushijima, akaashi, + asahi reacting to the ‘wap dance’

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

ushijima wakatoshi

uh the only megan he knows is his horse in the backyard so you KNOW this man doesn’t know what WAP is

he knows what tiktok is though, it’s the app that keeps you up at night and leaves him to deal with the repercussions

but he has no idea what “wap” is (he actually does know, but he doesn’t know)

trust and believe ushijima does not care about what you put on tiktok

he will later come to regret this

so the both of you are just relaxing in his room when all of a sudden you get up and start stretching

he’s not really alarmed, just thinks you’ve got a cramp in your leg or what not

it’s not until you prop your phone up against his dresser that he actually starts to pay attention

and then the music starts

and his soul leaves his body

let’s rewind

the moment you kick up and drop to the floor he freezes, there are no words to describe what this man is feeling right now

you’re moving your hips and arching your back in a way he’s never seen before

his eyes don’t leave your body for a second

! also ! you can do the splits? are your hips okay?

he hasn’t even thought of you in positions like this but . . .

your shaking your ass so effortlessly and he’s amazed

mesmerized

immaculate ass shaking has his dick quaking

genuinely concerned for your back though !! (it’s his job to make it arch like that :/)

when the music is finished and you turn back around he’s soulless

“‘toshi?”

doesn’t move for a solid minute because he’s still processing what the hell just happened

asks you to do it again

“y/n”

“ yes my love?”

the 180 from ‘wap to ‘lovie dovie s/o’ has his head spinning

“please don’t post it.”

“ i know, i know -- for your eyes only baby.”

akaashi keiji

knows the dance

TEACHES YOU THE DANCE

is better at the dance than you

so let’s discuss

while he’s teaching you the dance, it’s step by step so he never really see’s it altogether

the “oh fuck” effect isn’t there

when you guys are doing the dance together he doesn’t think this is something you’re actually going to post

so imagine his surprise when you end up on his for you page :)

compared to literally everyone else in the comment section apparently, his reaction is pretty composed.

on the inside he is screaming

crying

begging for mercy because how is he supposed to compare himself to the woman on the screen

how did he manage to date that! how! top ten questions the universe cannot answer !!

he watches the video like 200 times , likes, shares, adds to favorites, downloads , everything

unfortunately he promised bokuto and the rest of the fukurodani alumni a 3x3 match that night so he doesn’t get to see you

but it’s basically like you’re there because the rest of the team won’t shut up about you !

he’s proud on the inside though

when he finally gets to see you i firmly believe the just tackles you to the floor and interrogates , confronts, asks you about the dance

its cute finally seeing the little frustrated pout he has because you sure as hell wasn’t dancing like that in front of him

you have to tell him that , that literally was the reason you didn’t dance like that in front of him

12/10 reaction

never admits to being all the shares on your vid

asahi azumane

cries

and then lets you dom him for the rest of the night

#ushijima wakatoshi x reader #akaashi x reader #akaashi keiji x reader #asahi x reader #asahi azumane x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reactions #hq x reader #shiratorizawa #fukurodani #karasuno #haikyuu #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #m answers #ushijima x reader

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jungwonenthusiast · 3 years

Note

AHHH omg these prompts are really good, I sent in a request for Jungwoo literally one minute ago, but Yuta is testing me🙏 May I possibly request Yuta saying 12 + 1 + 16?😭 I'm imaging a whole video call situation going on, leading up to mutual masturbation🤤 Please feel free to choose only the Jungwoo request or only this one! I'll be perfectly content with any, thank you to the moon and back🥺✨

hi!! tysm for ur request! sorry that this ended up being so long lol but i hope u enjoy it <3

You haven’t seen Yuta in what feels like years but it’s only been two months. You were doing okay for the first few weeks but lately anytime you see a picture of him or hear his voice you start to feel tingly all over. There've been so many instances of you laying in bed late at night, contemplating calling him and telling him how needy you’ve been but you always get too embarrassed to try. But tonight was the last straw. The music video for “gimme gimme” just came out and you’re laying under your duvet watching it. You smile, feeling so proud of your friends and loving how gorgeous they all looked in the video. But of course, Yuta catches your eye. His hair is dark, dark blue and hanging over his forehead. He looks fucking incredible in that white button down and harness. You rewind all of his scenes at least three time, feeling only a little but embarrassed every time you do. After fangirling a bit on how handsome your boyfriend is, you text all of the members to congratulate them. Then you call Yuta, you figure it’d be a bit rude to just text him. Plus it wouldn't hurt to see his pretty face while you're at it.

“Hi my love,” he greets you warmly and you smile. He’s sitting at his desk. His voice is a little gravelly and his hair is floppy, had woken up a little bit ago?

“Hi, the video was incredible.” you say, sitting up in your bed.

“I know right,” he says and you chuckle. “what have you been up to?”

“Missing you,” you sigh.

“I know darling,” he says, he looks so good right now. “I’ll see you soon though, only two more weeks.”

“I don’t think I can last.” you pout.

“I promise you can.” he assures you.

“I miss you,” you start and once you do, you can’t stop. “I miss you voice and your kisses and your hugs and your everything.”

“I wish I could crawl through my phone to be with you.” he says and you smile.

“We’re so corny,” you scrunch your nose and he laughs.

“We are.” he sighs and stretches, dropping his neck back, revealing smooth skin and his adam’s apple. A small moan comes out of his mouth and you blush, squeezing your thighs against each other.

“Are you alone?” you ask him quietly.

“Yeah,” he cocks and eyebrow. “why?”

“Nothing.” you try to cover for yourself but he sees right through you.

“No why?” he crosses his arms.

“Nothing,” you look away, how does he still manage to make you nervous over the phone. “I was just curious.”

“You know you’re a bad liar y/n.” he says. “Did you have a secret to tell me or something?”

The way he’s testing you is getting you hot. “No.”

“Oh come on,” he smiles. “you don’t ever have to hide anything from me, you know that right?”

“Yeah,” you admit, squeezing at your covers.

“Now what is it that you need?” he asks.

“You.” you say bluntly.

"Well, here I am." he says, playing dumb.

You know what you need to say, you're just embarrassed.

You swallow your pride. "I miss you. I need you to help me cum."

"There you go," he says. "did you call me just to get off on my voice?"

You cover your face with your hands, blushing. "Maybe."

"Naughty," he tsks. "Show me how much you miss me angel."

You look up at him with a questioning look on your face. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” he taunts you and you can already feel how wet you’re getting. “put me out of my misery and spread those legs for me.”

You comply, eager for relief. You’re only wearing underwear beneath your hoodie, so it doesn’t take much effort to reveal yourself.

“Fuck.” he says under his breath. “You’re so wet. All from thinking about me?”

You nod pathetically, squirming under his piercing stare.

“What have you been thinking about sweetheart?” he says while unbuckling his belt. The sight makes your mouth water. “Tell me all about your fantasies.”

You know it’s better just to answer than to get all shy again. “I think about you touching me, fingering me...” your voice falls short.

“Mhm? What else?” he says. You can see his arm moving.

“Tasting me, fucking me,” your thighs start to shut at the thought of all of this.

“Keep your legs spread.” he says sternly and you listen.

You keep gripping at your hips, trying to resist touching yourself until he says so.

“Do you want to touch yourself?” he asks and you nod eagerly. He smiles. “Go ahead doll, show me how you like it.”

Your fingers trail down to your dripping pussy, collecting the slick on your fingers before rubbing your clit. A moan of relief escapes your mouth.

“Fuck,” he curses. “that pussy looks so good.”

“Can I go faster?” you ask him and he nods. You pick up the pace. Your sounds are starting to get loud.

“You sound so pretty darling,” Yuta says, infatuated with you. “Finger yourself for me.”

You push one finger in and give yourself a few pumps before adding another.

“Atta girl.” he says. “Imagine those fingers are mine, fucking you just right, hitting that spot.”

You whimper and roll your hips against your hand.

“Do that again.” he says, his eyes dark and full of lust.

You roll your hips again and your fingers brush against your gspot.

“Fuck yes,” you moan.

Yuta leans back in his chair, displaying himself stroking his cock nice and slow.

You whimper at the sight.

He smirks. “Do you miss how hard I fuck you? How deep I fuck that pretty pussy?”

You nod, your eyes rolling back from imagining his every word.

“Get your vibrator out.” he orders and you listen, pulling the toy out from your nightstand. “Put in on low and just run it down your body,” he says “down your stomach, down your thighs, around your pussy.”

You writhe on your bed, not able to handle the teasing.

“Where do you want it angel?” he asks. His shirt is hiked up now and you can see his slim torso.

“On my clit.” you say. You want it so bad it almost hurts.

“Go ahead.” he says and you finally put it where you need it most. You let out a sultry whine. “That feels good doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you look at him through your lashes.

“Turn it higher,” he says and you click to toy into the next level. “don’t stop finger fucking yourself.”

Everything feels so good it nearly brings tears to your eyes. Your fingers going in and out of your pussy, the vibrator on your clit.

“I’m close Yuta.” you manage to say.

He’s pushed back his hair now and his head is occasionally falling back in pleasure. The view feels so crude but so good.

“I bet you are,” he says. “cum for me then.”

Your fingers start to pump faster, curling just the perfect amount.

“Come on,” he says. “I know you can do it. Be a good girl for me.”

His words send you over the edge. You let out a long whine in complete ecstasy, your pussy pulsing from all of the pleasure.

“Fuck,” he growls, his eyes focused on your gorgeous figure. “That’s my girl.” he says.

You finally come down from your high, breathing heavily.

“That felt good huh?” he says while taking his cum stained shirt off.

“Yeah,” you say. “I need you to come back.”

“I know,” he nods. “I’ll make all of the wait worth it.”

#nct smut #yuta smut #kpop smut

110 notes · View notes

eunoiastarz · 3 years

Note

I really love ur lyric edits, the way you match the lines with the scenes So Well. have you considered making an spn angel family playlist? cuz i would absolutely listen to that!! also have you heard God Lifts Up The Lowly by Ezra Furman becuz *shivers in spn angel*

an angel family playlist just for you <3

my top ten ↘

We’re Alive by Cavetown

We're alive and we're here / Listen please cause we're scared / We're alive and we're here / We will scream 'til you hear

Landfill by Daughter

So leave me in the cold / Wait until the snow covers me up / So I cannot move / So I'm just embedded in the frost / Then leave me in the rain / Wait until my clothes cling to my frame / Wipe away your tear stains / Thought you said you didn't feel pain

Wolf by First Aid Kit

Holy light over the night / Oh, keep the spirit strong / Watch it grow, child of war / Oh, keep holdin' on / Wayward winds, a voice that sings / Of a forgotten land / See it fall, child of war / Oh, lend a mending hand

Comfort Crowd by Conan Gray

We mess around / And laugh too loud / And make the sounds / We try to hide when people are around / By blood we're bound / Through ups and downs / Through smiles and pouts / Comfort crowd / You can always count

Little League by Conan Gray

And when we were younger / We wore our hearts right on our sleeves / Why did we ever have to leave? / Little league / Could I get a rewind? / Get another chance, take it back in time / 'Cause I don't know what to do / With everything I'm going through / And where did all my friends go? / Standing on our street but nobody's home / Swore we'd never move away

Snow by Ricky Montgomery

Take my mind, take my body / Take my father's conscience from me / Sister, will you lend me all your strength? / I'm bringing everyone home

Dead Hearts by Stars

They moved forward, and my heart died / Please, please tell me what they looked like / Did they seem afraid of you? / They were kids that I once knew / They were kids that I once knew

They'll Like Me When I'm Sick by Flatsound

I heard you're at it again, I just called to say I never left / And good luck, good luck, good luck, good luck, good luck / I heard you needed some / If your father could see the mess you made / He wouldn't like it very much

Salty Seas by Devics

I'm not saying that / I felt like you cared / I'm not saying that / I want to go back / The salty sea behind the eyes / And it's the tears / That come and make me cry / The falling leaf that never tries / To hold on to what / Keeps it alive / I was so green / Nothing could touch me / I'm not saying that / This is good or bad / I'm not saying that / I wanna go

I Lost Something In The Hills by Sibylle Baier

There where times in my life / When I felt mad and deprived / And only the slopes gave me hope / When I pass through the leg high grass, I shall die / Under the jasmine, I shall die / In the elder tree / I need not try to prepare for a new coming day / Where is it that fills the deepness I feel?

#hi ily <3 #if you want any elaborations on some songs feel free to send and ask <3 #aaaaa this was so much fun thank you <33333 #honorable mention to many songs choosing my top ten was so hard </3 #expecially ‘what do they know’ because that’s THEE rebellious angel song #definitely feeling inspired to make some more lyric edits now <3 #also you’re SO right about that song #->#spn angels #the garrison

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jiminrings · 4 years

Note

hi!! can i request a drabble of new personaltrainer!jungkook training a pretty awkward (and kinda chubby/thicc..?) y/n and its super fluffy and aaaa,, i love your writing aaaa 🥺

cloud nine

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: y/n finally gives into jimin the gymbro’s thoughtful push, and jungkook is sO close to barking back to his chihuahua the moment he gets home :D // gif isn’t mine but look at it it’s so cRISPY!!!

notes: thank you sO much babie!! here you go :D

okay that’s iT!!

you totally need something new in your life

you need a change of pace or whatever that’s called

all the days you’ve been having are all blurring into the same one and it just makes you feel so stagnant

the only difference you could point out are the sleep shirts you wear and that’s ONLY if you don’t try to repeat wearing them

you now have a list of people you’re in awe of

people who genuinely and unironically consider friends the tv show as a cinematic masterpiece because nOAH FENCE how do they manage to get entertained by laugh tracks and the same skit over and over again

ok maybe your slander towards it increased because hoseok (the guy you have a sorta crush on) likes it and he leaves you on read and sometimes doesn’t even open your message and thEN you’d see his instagram stories and they’re all just???? friends???? what was the reason

and second, jimin!

jimin’s your best friend and that just makes you awed even more because you don’t even know how the two of you got close

jk it was when your friends forced you to come with them at this inflatable water park and you were sCARED and so he held your lifevest and was like

“hEY do you wanna take this in the same pace that i’m doing it?? tbh i just wanna get back to my mimosas but my friends paid too expensively for this”

<3 he has been the guardian of your heart since <3

jimin’s just so well-paced and organized and knows how to have his fun that his daily life doesn’t seem like a mindless routine

you are actively YEARNING for that kind of lifestyle

and right now it just seems like the stars are aligning for you and are practically made for your existence alone!!

jimin’s a gymbro

he is the living breathing talking definition of gymbro and gymrat and gymgod or whatever it is

.....

.......

.... gymin if u will ....

okAy then

but he wasn’t the aggressive type of gymbro, not at all!

he’s a total natural!!

like he’s ripped but not excessively and exaggeratedly ripped

he doesn’t flex but the muscle definition and the physique are just wHew exquisite!!

he doesn’t talk in protein powder lingo but you aren’t surprised to see a giant jug of it inside his cupboard!!! after all he’s proud to say that it’s practically all-skill!!!

and to top it off.,.,

okay so jimin takes off his shirt right

the two of you are neighbors and you often come into each other’s places and it feels like home too

and you aren’t complaining!! you know that he runs a little hot that normal and you wouldn’t want him overheating

but he has this large tattoo on his rib that reads nevermind and it’s so cOOL and it just makes the gears in your head go creak creak because aha your best friend is the blueprint huh

you’re not surprised!! you really aren’t!!

after all, why would you be surprised out of all the things above when you already know that he owns a goddamn GYM??

the only regret that you have is not meeting him sooner :((

yeah sure pjm athletics does have a nice ring to it bUT WHAT ABOUT PARK’S GYMIN

you’ve always been.,., a lil curious ok

i mean your goddamn friend is the ownEr of a really well-known and well-praised gym!! how could you not??

you don’t wanna mooch off from him though no matter how much he offers you free classes and stuff

he always brings you home extra merch and energy drinks that you’re sure you can now have a tap for gatorade

he’s not dENSE!! he sees how you look at him whenever he does push-ups on your floor or when he does planks like no big deal

there’s this thought at the back of your head that y’know..,., what if THIS was the thing that’s gonna be your change of pace

lmao you’re looking for hardship basically

jimin’s finally had it when you sigh for the eleventh time while he’s doing pull-ups

you want to spend your own money and he knows you won’t accept any of his offers!!

that’s it he needs to be smart about this!!!

“woah jimin holy sHIT you’re having a 50% off your membership??? and it comes with a trainer too??? are you serious right now???”

:)))

he can now sleep in peace knowing his editing job for this flyer has paid off and he’s passed the “y/n’s not believing me” stage :))

if it wasn’t established enough there really isn’t a sale lol

here you are then,.,.

wearing workout leggings that jimin deemed to be reAlly great and it made quite a hefty dent in your wallet but you trust his judgement so ok

you’re not in the mood to wear anything besides jimin’s black dri-fit shirt because you really don’t wanna attract attention as the newbie

this is good!! you now have a gym membership AND a personal trainer!!

you dON’T exactly need them but you feel you just do y’know!! there’s no harm in trying :D

you didn’t want jimin to be your personal trainer and he basically sULKED for a whole week

it’s not a him problem!! it’s a you problem!!!

you know that it’s a given that the trainers shOuld be excellently to a degree to actually train someone else

but it’s now dawning in you that HE’S the owner and he’s so intimidatingly good!!! you would look like a raw egg that’s just dumped haphazardly into a pot and he’s the perfectly-boiled egg :((

oh my god

jungkook feels like he’s gonna throw up with how nervous he is

it’s his first day as a personal trainer!! :D

he’s half-excited and half-terrified because holy shit fIRST of all this gym was hard to apply to in the first place

everyone’s flocking it because:

a) it’s really great

b) even greater benefits for the employees

c) the pay is hUGE

d) the equipment?? the morals?? the testimonials?? the owner?? the whole thing??? FANTASTIC

and second omg jungkook won’t admit it to anyone but uHm he’s kinda scared ok

he’s not the type of person that’s comfortable with ordering people around??? even if that’s technically his job???

like what if his first-ever client is a guy like jason momoa and that guy’s a fucking UNIT for sure

imagine hIM telling jASON MOMOA to give him three sets x twenty reps of push-ups

g-gulp

“or i can do it for you, i-if you want?”

he’s bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet and swinging his arms around forward and backward to make them clap quietly

“there, you’re all set!! i already filled up all the forms for you the moment i gave you the flyer!!”

“but-“

“your trainer’s... not me. but he’s uh, what’s his name again, jungkook!! what does he look like again — oh right!! i remember!!”

“jimin-“

“he should be the guy with the big doe eyes!! has a lot of dangly earrings!! if he’s not wearing a sweater then he should be the one who has some tattoos!!”

“no jimin-“

“off you go!! i’ll be bouncing around but i’ll keep an eye on you, don’t worry!! okay now go and i’ll let you have a sip of my gatorade even if we have the same drink :D”

.....

whew

there goes nothing then

you’re about to keep your duffel bag close as a reason to stall to getting to the locker room but jimin’s already one step ahead and snatched it from you

you didn’t even get your towel :((

it had a little blue cloud embroidered at the middle of it and it’s your Emotional Support Towel by default

you’re kinda nervous since there’s some pairs of eyes on you because after all they just saw you have the most carefree conversation with the owner they’re a lil scared to talk to

you’re wringing your hands together as you try to spot this jungkook with jimin’s descriptions and-

O H

jungkook looks so ????

wow?????

he’s gorgeous like that is nOt up for debate

he looks so fresh?? effortless?? handsome???

jungkook looks like he smells like baby powder and freshly-washed sheets

the baby powder that you’re tempted to snORt because it smells so good which was the one you’d put on your chest bc boob sweat and to prevent ur thighs chafing

he had to do a double-take on you because the first time he glanced at this walking person he immediately shut down

like when something looks sO pretty that you have to look away for a second because you literally can’t take it

oR like when you have this favorite scene of a movie and you have to physically pause it before rewinding and doing that for another six times

“are you perhaps jungkook?? because i’m not surE and-...”

“jungkook i am. i-i aM jeon jungkook!! yes, right, jungkook!!!!!”

holy fuck he’s stopped working

your mouth’s a little parted because you didn’t expect him to go on that lil spiel cLEARLY but omg he’s adorable!!!

if he could punch himself he really would

it’s taking him a second to regroup but you take the initiative to introduce yourself :D

“i’m y/n! you’re my trainer from what they told me :))”

you’re a lil more awkward when it comes to social interactions like these but it looks like you’re acing it when put in front of jungkook

the both of you shake hands and then immediately put it behind your back because wow u just shook the pretty boy’s hand AND it’s not even 8 in the morning yet!!

you haven’t even started the workout portion yet but ur already on fire

( jimin’s looking at the security footage and even HE’S blushing from the secondhand embarrassment jungkook’s brough oh my god )

(( jimin suddenly wishes he could unlearn reading people’s lips ))

“so, what brought you here?”

it’s jungkook who asks but he alsO wants to answer himself to say it’s fate aha :D

he’s getting you to stretches and he’s doing them with you!!

“to be honest?? well there was like a fIFTY percent discount but you already know all of that”

wait

what now

“a sale? what-...”

there’s an abrupt noise that goes through the whole gym and it makes the both of you flinch and you even yelP

if you see jimin lifting a 100lbs barbell only to throw it down and cut off jungkook from speaking THEN MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

“you okay?”

jungkook asks you quietly and taps your shoulder and you’re about to faint right then and there of how you met like then minutes ago and he’s cONCERNED

the focus on today was flexibility plus easing you into working out!!!

stretches are the next best thing to working out and it’s a win-win combo bc you’re flexible aND you’re basically exerting effort = kind of a workout apparently

the bit of reaching your toes then doing a downward dog and the upward-facing dog right after to hear that satisfying grunt of your joints is a LITTLE awkward because jungkook’s looking at you

jungkook wants to look away but in the same time he can’t will himself to

one because he’s a young wide-eyed attracted man and twO he’s the trainer omg he needs to look at you!!!

“o-okay! just a set of jack jum — jUMPING JACKS!!! jumping jacks and we could start :)))”

no one told you.,.,.

no one told you where you should look when you’re doing jumping jacks

you can’t look downwards because that’ll throw you off and you can’t look up either because why?? what??? WHO are you seeking up there????

looking straight ahead is kinda awkward

the safe answer was everywhere at once according to you

you sneak a look at jungkook and you almost choke in your own spit with how handsome he still looks

you’re not gonna cope up with that fact probably ever

jungkook’s feeling a lil sweaty now because uHm he shouldn’t really be doing this with you technically

it’s usually a trainer doing it with you for like the first five reps and then letting you do it alone for the rest

but nO he’s doing this with you he doesn’t mind :D

he could feel a bead of sweat by his sideburns and he’s screaming internally to gO the fuck back where it came from

he wants to tear off his hoodie but he doesn’t know if he should since he doesn’t have a shirt underneath!!!

being shirtless to the gym isn’t new but you’re with him and nOW he feels nervous

honestly jungkook would rather overheat than to make you feel uncomfortable

news flash: you want to curl up into a ball and cry about thinking how you’d be sore the next day

you r about to give out and tear up a little bit because fuck this is nOT an introductory workout

you also don’t want to look like a wimp in front of jungkook because that is not a good look for your pride and you’d feel embarrassed for eternity

just two more to go!!

honestly fUCK fire hydrants!!! 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚𝕊?? 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕖???? 𝕚 𝕕𝕠𝕟’𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠 𝕒𝕊𝕊!!!

you raise your head because you’re getting dizzy looking down

jungkook’s looking at you and he sees you looking at him and it dOESN’T help the way you look right now

with you sweaty and grumbling under your breath and ur baby hair all over the place and ur eyes unfocused and fix at the same time a-and ur lips parted and-

JESUS LINE UP AT THE DMV RIGHT NOW TAKE THE WHEEL

jungkook’s so nervous and flustered that his limp actually trembles with how hot his cheeks are and he’s rambling out of nowhere

“fire hydrants amirite??? most certainly inspired by dogs and stuff because cooky, my chihuahua, does exactly that when he pees and-...”

THERE’S THAT LOUD BARBELL CLANGING AGAIN

oh my god he should not have said that

jungkook’s beyond mortified wHY DID HE SAY THAT

you look speechless and you aRE

you’re just nodding at him with a tight-lipped smile and if he knows better that’s because you’re so spent and a little light-headed and less off from his nervous rambling

planks,,, just planks,,, the final bit of it all

you don’t wanna get dizzy at the last stretch so you’re trying your best to not pay attention to the blood rushing to ur head

jungkook’s so distracted with his thoughts that he wordlessly adjusts you

lifts up your core while adjusting your feet closer before pressing his hand to your back and-

aHA FUCK

you now feel like you can run a marathon right after that

jungkook now feels like he can compete in a twenty-hour triathlon

he’s praising you to no end that you did sOOOO good!!! you really did!!!!

meanwhile your face is hot not only from that but also because you’ve endured hardship that felt like hours <3

you’re breathlessly laughing because wHEW you really did do that and wow you’re proud of yourself!!!! it’s not even 10 in the morning!!!

there’s a towel that’s gently patting your face section by section

“you uhm, you didn’t have a towel with you so-“

jungkook pats at your neck to your nape and that’s when it hits that o-OH right i’ll leave you to that

you take the towel with a grin you’re fighting so hard and that’s when you realize that it’s not just a random gym one

but rather it was jungkook’s himself because it’s the same clean one he had in his hands awhile ago!!

you can smell him on it and you make sure to pat your face extra dry because you wouldn’t want to get your face sweaty now would you :D his perfume’s just a bonus, right :D

shouldn’t trainers be the cold and straight to the point ones and immediately leave right after you’re all done????

..... inch resting

“oh my gOD — mr. jimin sir-nim min jimin-nIM!!”

jungkook has the fright of his life when his boss appears from nowhere by his side

jimin laughs at how frazzled this guy is lmao but anyways he came here for you (as if he hasn’t been supervising from afar the whole time)

“want me to give you a ride home or?”

kook’s a little lost and he might just cry as he starts to think that oh wait a second are you guys-

“he’s my best friend.”

you whisper under your breath towards him and he unknowingly sighs in relief

“well did you get here using your jeep or your vespa???”

jimin has this jeep he passionately calls chimmy the jeep and he has a knack for naming things with a ring on it ok

and the other was a cream-colored vespa he bought like six months ago

he learned how to ride the bike a year ago and he was immediately let’s get this to the next level idc i’m getting a vESPA!!!

you have an iRRATIONAL fear of vespas

you’re okay with big bikes and regular motorcycles!!! in fact you find them less threatening than jimin’s motorcycle

the little wheels scare you and it’s just so??? it looks so bite-sized wHY does it look like that???? it looks like you could breathe an extra breath to your right and the vespa would steer to the right

ugh you hate his motorcycle sO bad

“well don’t you hAte public transport when you’re tired and all that???”

yikes you did

it’s true!! you’d call him to pick you up because the bus ride hits harder when you’ve had a long day and u feel every bump in the road possible

“i have a big bike!”

jungkook chimes in and he even raises his hand and that’s when he shuts up when he realizes his mistake

“no one asked mhmm i’m sorry jimin-nim sir hYung-nim”

your eyes widen as it sinks in you that oh my god he mIGHT be as into you as you are with him and that’s so ???? that’s such a heartwarming concept you can’t believe

jungkook has the same big brain moment and he takes your widened eyes as a signal to keep talking

“i have TWO helmets! but uhm one of them is for kooky and he’s a chihuahua, wait i already said that, so that means it’s just a tINY helmet i ordered from amazon but it’s okAy i can wear it!!! b-but i’m not forcing you or anything that i should take you home o-or no offense to mr. jimin-nim sir i am NOT underestimating you or-“

surprisingly, jimin doesn’t hate the idea of you and jungkook

ah he should probably adopt a dog and name them jupiter or sth,,, you and koo look like you’re gonna end up anyways

“okay. just bring her home in one piece.”

he’s oddly calm and that also makes YOU confused

jungkook isn’t confused however because the moment you turn, jimin mouths to him in korean and the rough translation was hurt her and i’ll kill you :D

you nodded your head and that meant he’s iNDEED taking you bome

he starts throwing things in his duffel bag (and he should still be in the gym but jimin jus gave him a free pass) and he’s wordlessly carrying yours too!!

he could feel your fist holding the back of his hoodie and jungkook just feels at peace :’’’)

wearing a ridiculous miniature helmet for dogs on top of his head that won’t do shit is tOTALLY worth it

#feedback pls and thank you :D #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook drabble #jungkook drabbles #jungkook au #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook fluff #jungkook fluff imagine #jungkook fic recs #trainer!jungkook #bts masterlist #requested drabbles

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literaphobe · 4 years

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season three of she-ra rated by catradora content

the price of power: adora talks about how she thinks the others at the horde can change too and when u think about it in the “at this point in the story, she still hoped catra would change” way it’s like wow :’) we knew that but wow :’) it sucks tho that in this scenario she’s actually wondering specifically if shadow weaver can change, which :/ hm :/ bc shadow weaver sucks. adora really fucking called her out on her abuse tho which is so sexy, and yes that has nothing to do with catradora i just felt like i really wanted to mention it at least <3 shadow weaver is a loserrrr <3 but.... she does mention “catra betrayed me” which makes adora do her “oh, catra?👀” eyebrow raise. i swear she cannot keep a straight fucking face whenever someone mentions catra. it’s like. are you lgbt or something? :/ 2/10

huntara: no catra this episode, but adora’s reaction to huntara will forever go down as one of her stupidest gay moments. u think catra knew super huge buff ladies were adora’s type? how fucking funny would it be if catra thought she never stood a chance with adora not because of the internalized homophobia shadow weaver instilled in them but simply because she thought she was not tall and buff enough for adora’s taste. “adora doesn’t want me!!!!! not like i want her..... because i’m not swole😔” 0/10

once upon a time in the waste: very funny and sexy of catra 2 be like. hm. i was sent here to die. i have completely given up on my hopes and dreams. oh wait what did you say? she-ra?😏 and she was blonde?👀 she’s got a sword?😩 she was angry?😽 her name is adora?👅 and all of a sudden catra is like nope existential crisis over. i’m gay again. and also evil again. that mix culminates in her giving a sexy monologue. did you know that if you’re gay and evil you will give very sexy monologues? and also sword lesbians will fall in love with you despite your questionable morals? anyway, catra takes over the whole of the crimson waste. i won’t discuss how since technically it doesn’t involve catradora but it was really hot okay😔 also adora was being really hot and powerful and fearless (she did not even flinch as bats flew in her face. hello?) and Angery this ep but i will also not get into it😩 i will however remark upon how both catra and adora low key had meltdown monologues this ep, and it is :( but also hot and cool of them. now, i will move onto when they meet <3 catra starts slow clapping as her goons creep onto mara’s ship and poison dart the best friend squad. they only send three darts flying and the last one is blocked by huntara. we have to assume that catra only ordered her team to send three darts for huntara, bow, and glimmer, leaving adora for last because catra has to greet her with, and let’s say it all together—“hey, adora😼”. adora tries to make a run for her sword but catra uses her new sexy cool whip to take it away. “i think this might be the quickest i ever won a fight. always so dramatic with you, isn’t it, adora?” adora tells huntara to save bow and glimmer first, leaving adora as catra’s only prisoner. 👀👀👀👀 soon after, everyone is celebrating, and catra sits in the big chair on mara’s ship like it’s a throne, casually draped over with adora’s sword in her hand, the long blade just resting between her legs. and. hooooooooooooooo boooooooooooooiiiiii. let me just. let me just have a second over here okay folks? this is all very hard for my sexuality to take. i don’t think u all realize how hard it is to make these evaluations. every day i have a breakdown over how hot one of them is. it’s one thing to just watch the show but every time something gay happens (so like, every five seconds) i gotta pause it and take notes (by take notes i really mean start ranting about it like this) and then i gotta like rewind it and shit to double check and i have to force myself to just be repeatedly subjected to the gayness. starting to get a little homophobic tbh! okay back to the show. catra is so fucking sweet and makes everyone cheer scorpia on too. she breaks out into this beautiful giggle. oh my god her laugh. bitches falling for this catgirl left and right smh. catra grabs scorpia’s claw and drags her away from the party. we also find out this is when catra learns about what a party is. remember how adora didn’t know what a party was either? :( damn. they deserve to have absolute ragers ok. catra starts talking about how valued and cool she will be when they go back and show hordak the sword, etc, and scorpia is like. but what if we didn’t do that. what if we just stayed here and had a gay life. a good honest gay life filled with sick parties and gang leading. and catra is like oh right.... u have a point..... i do hate the horde...... wonder why that is.... and then scorpia makes a fatal mistake. she says “forget adora!” which is about the dumbest thing you can tell a self destructive catgirl who’s been in love with adora her whole life but also kinda resents her atm. and catra is like perhaps i don’t want to forget adora. did u consider that scorpia? did you not think about how i crave her lips upon my mouth every night? fuck u im gonna go uh... find adora n maybe tie her up even more idk >:( catra goes to “check on the prisoner”, according to her own words. what does that mean, catra. like what. ur gonna go see if adora wants some tea? something 2 eat?👅 someone to kiss? Fkskdjdjdj adora is obviously struggling against her restraints and trying to break free, and the second she sees her she goes “catra, you can’t do this! >:(“ and catra is like “well, hello to you, too.” because MANNERS, adora, like god damn it catra always puts in the tender loving care and effort to greet you and you can’t even say hello? :( catra dismisses the goon who was previously guarding adora, because when you.... talk to your..... best friend turned enemy who’s now your prisoner. ur gonna want some privacy ya know😌😩👀😔 anyway catra is like ok.... once again.... y can’t i do this. and adora is like more horde army might come in!!! which. adora baby i love you but maybe don’t make that the thesis statement of your sales pitch? to the person who was second in command at the horde?? not to nitpick but if i were u i would’ve just said “noooooo don’t open a portal that might destroy reality ur so sexy ahaha” OR “if u give me back my sword and decide NOT to rip apart the fabric of this dimension i’ll kiss you on the mouth❤️” i know that u think ur feelings are one sided and that catra isn’t in love with you and that you can’t seduce her to the bright side💔 but u actually could have 💔 fkdkdjdjdj moving on.... catra says “never a dull moment with you❤️” which is weirdly so romantic. like yeah they’re enemies but catra gets bored when adora isn’t around. life is always exciting when adora is there, in catra’s eyes :’( like damn bitch if you like her so much why don’t you just marry her haha. please? <3 adora continues to explain that we will ALL lose if hordak opens a portal, light hope and mara said that opening a portal will endanger everyone!! and catra says the funniest thing. “you’ll listen to anything weird old holograms tell you, won’t you? you should really try to get over that. :/“ LFKDKFKDKFKFKFJ GIRL YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING THIS FUNNY. but then adora says the wrong thing :( she brought up you know who and said “shadow weaver told me” and catra.... :( she’s like. how did. she tell you. and adora’s voice goes soft and it’s like “you didn’t know?” because from what she knows catra is allegedly the one who betrayed shadow weaver, not the other way around. and catra grabs adora by the collar and pulls her in and adora gets this gasp and. let me just scream for five minutes. okay. i’m back. so. catra pulls her in and she’s like HOW. and adora just very slowly and cautiously tells her the truth. that shadow weaver is in bright moon. and :( catra :( she lets go of adora and comes to this. very destructive realization that shadow weaver “left her” for adora and that all the pain she’s felt is all Because Of Adora. that, just by being adora, everything, all the happiness that catra could have had, has been taken away. which she is wrong about but that’s what she thinks :( and adora realizes that this is. not good. and she gently goes “catra?” because the look on her face must be worrying to adora, and catra starts to walk away and adora desperately calls out to her. “catra, please, you have to listen!” but...... it’s too late :( and catra is enveloped by the darkness. 9/10 for the collar grabbing shit and just the inherent gayness of their connection and interactions but also this is all so sad bros :( my bros are all devastated

moment of truth: catra walks back into the horde with her arm around adora’s shoulder. hm! Hm! HM! really doesn’t feel like she needs to do that! but she’s doing it anyway! later on, entrapta and adora are alone and talking. “catra would say anything to get whatever she wants.” true, but also not true, adora. she wants to be your gf, but has she said anything about it? no :/ that’s in like 2 seasons. and you were literally about to die so she low key had nothing to gain. so :/ think carefully next time. fjsjfjsjdjdjd entrapta pulls out the funniest cutest bar graphs of data, and there’s like four categories and for some reason catra has low scores for the first three but a really high score for the last one? i desperately want to know what that is. adora says “look, i understand. catra was my friend, too.” and she casts her eyes to the side when she says this. as if.... that statement is a lot more loaded than it seems. because yes catra was adora’s friend. but also wasn’t she, at the same time, so much more than that? yes <3 it was because they were best friends <3 gal pals <3 “but she makes bad decisions. this is one of them.” :( yeah i mean what am i supposed to do. disagree with that? it’s so wild to think about how even through all of this adora never hated catra. arguably, she never stopped loving her either. which. sigh😔 pour one out boys we are yearning tonight! entrapta leaves the room, asking adora if she’ll try to escape. and adora is like “no?👀” which is irrelevant but also really funny. another irrelevant thing i want to bring up is catra when she’s losing in a fight against shadow weaver. “so, what? you’re on the side of good now? you made me this way, and you get to be the good guy?” bro. fucking.... bro. catra’s lines istg.... also her being able to take on gang leaders and princesses and take those people down easily but to lose so quickly to shadow weaver... y’all know what that is right :( sigh. wait. i’m not done let’s sit very sadly on this next line for a bit. “do you know what happened to me after you escaped? do you even care?” i’m gonna cry okay. right. back to catradora. catra is. really unhinged and devastated and destructive right now :( and so she marches into entrapta’s lab and demands that they fire up the portal machine. entrapta says they can’t, because “adora was right” and immediately that sets catra off. she gives this barely restrained chuckle and is like “adora is right.....” and she’s just. having a full on breakdown. she’s just filled with so much anger and resentment.... i can’t even joke and call it a hate boner man, and that sucks because i would love to call it a hate boner :( “adora gets EVERYTHING she wants” no catra, you are wrong. she wants you. she does not have you. case closed. adora has literally only truly wanted one thing in her life, and she does not have it because you won’t give it to her 😔 in conclusion, adora p much never gets what she wants :( why don’t you go over and hug her and then maybe you’ll calm down. i know it’s more complicated than that but still😔 anyway, catra is very determined to not let adora win, so in order to beat adora, she decides they have to open the portal no matter what, because that’s the one thing adora seems to not want right now. some very not chill stuff happens, and catra runs into hordak’s lab and demands that he opens the portal. she lies to hordak and says “oh you can’t trust anyone, especially a PRINCESS” and she turns over to glare pointedly at adora. which is. SUCH a bitter ex thing to do. “they’ll just use you to get what they want” CATRA SHE LOVES YOU :( SHES IN LOVE WITH YOU SHE ONLY EVER WANTED TO BE WITH YOU :( and also she was raised to think she only had worth if she did what others expected of her and that everyone’s happiness and safety was somehow her responsibility. and that it would be better for her to die than for others to get hurt. she was never trying to use you :( you were the only thing that ever made her selfish :( bow, glimmer, and shadow weaver run in and fight with hordak and catra, and catra realizes she has to pull the lever now or it’ll be too late. adora desperately yells “catra, please, don’t!” and catra looks at her for a last time, evil smirking before she does it. roll credits. 8.5/10

remember: oh, we’re really in it now huh :( we hear the last lines from catra and adora from the last episode, and i think this is a part of adora’s dream. she is woken up by catra gently saying her name <3 then by catra a little bit angrily saying her name fjsjdjdjd adora wakes up with a shock and catra is sitting on top of her. HHHHHH. okay. adora shoves catra off and catra is like ???? damn what usually u pull me closer and hug me when i wake u up😔😔 wtf. but catra grabs adora’s wrists to calm her down anyway and gives her this pretty reassuring look, and she jokes “heh, since when do you sleep in? u usually wake up early to flirt with me!” as we all know adora gets nightmares even from her days in the horde so catra just treats this as normal and tries to make adora feel better as usual. ground her and say lighthearted things to make adora remember that she is safe. i mean technically the universe is collapsing in on itself rn so making adora feel safe isn’t the Best thing to do but catra also thinks the fake reality IS reality atm so that’s not her fault <3 adora is confused about how she got “here” and catra finds this strange because adora is in her room! she has her own room now, because she’s force captain! which makes u wonder whether catra and adora would sleep in the same bed if adora was force captain. would catra creep in and sleep in her bed still? would they lock the door and cuddle? oh well! guess we’ll never know! they... are so soft here, just smiling at each other, catra worried about adora, adora smiling back and deciding to just dismiss what happened as a weird dream. “there was something i needed to fix...” “of course you dream about work. there’s nothing to fix adora. everything’s perfect.” hhhh i know everyone in the fake reality thinks Everything’s Perfect too but can we just be gay for a second and think about how a perfect life for catra is just... to be with adora. can we just chomp down on that meaty thought for a sec? :( ok anyway, catra puts her hand on adora’s shoulder and adora smiles and is like wow ur right :) this does feel pretty perfect i mean catra and i are in bed together what could be so wrong💞😜😘👅😎😩 catra pulls adora up to her feet and says “come on, get up” and adora is perfectly happy to just chase after catra. it’s so fucking unfortunate tho that she decides at the last second to pick her ugly ass jacket up. like baby, no. u look perfectly hot as is in that white top. but she needs the jacket to see her force captain badge so she can get Visions or whatever. like goddamn i know the world was collapsing in on itself but imagine if shadow weaver had never been like abusive and the horde was just some chill ass ugly hangout spot instead of a fascist regime. catra and adora really could’ve just been happy huh? :( anyway catra gets kinda annoyed that her gf is not chasing after her any more and instead putting on her ugly ass jacket and looking at it in the mirror. so she’s like “adora! :(“ and adora goes running. she always comes when catra calls for her😌😌😌😌 and then the opening credits play, giving me whiplash. wow that was such a gay fucking cold open. adora walks side by side with catra and is a little weirded out by all the people saluting her and shit. and she’s like lmao wtf what are they all looking at and catra is like u u beautiful idiot. ur hot, and also the invasion of thaymor that u led went perfectly❤️ ur the hero of the hour i’m so proud of you babe❤️ catra is just a proud happy gf who smiles so beautifully and adora is getting more Visions and Flashbacks. but catra is so hot when she’s proud of her that adora decides that she’s gonna be like YEAH OMG I DID THAT WAR CRIME RIGHTS <3 and salutes people like a fucking idiot. and catra does the whole flirty “oh please, you couldn’t have done it without me ;)” bit and wraps her gay arm around gay adora who looks like she’s in heaven, hilariously pushing adora down a bit because catra is SHORT FJSJDJDJD and adora is like “rightttt ;) what would i ever do without you ;)” and man to be a horde soldier witnessing their flirting. i would start yelling slurs at them immediately. adora elbows catra with her arm and they both laugh, but the force causes catra to bump into a horde soldier. and the soldier makes the fatal mistake of reacting normally and being like HEY WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING TWERP and catra is not amused. adora puts her hands on her hips, glaring at the soldier, and he immediately gets so fucking scared. and the soldier is like UHUHUH FORCE CAPTAIN I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE— I’M SO SORRY. didn’t know she was what? DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS WHAT???? gay????? banging this angry catgirl????? in the middle of flirting with her??????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN. what does it ALL mean?????? and adora is just like YEAH U BETTER BE >:( disMISSED >:( like fucking WHAT?????? yeah how dare u get mad at my gf for bumping into you. it is YOUR fault for existing while we were roughhousing as part of a very intricate ritual. u ruined the FLOW of our flirting u jackass. u fucking bitch. now we gotta start all over again :( and then like the soldier leaves while v terrified and keeps bowing at them and catra and adora just bursts out laughing at each other. they’re that lesbian couple who will bully u in school and feel zero remorse for it. that is so fucking sexy. i wish that were me. catra proceeds to make fun of the soldier she bumped into and didn’t even apologize to all “oh, force captain, don’t hurt me! UHAHASHUAH” and adora plays along with the re-enactment by posing and acting tough. catra really do be flexing her privilege as gf of everyone’s boss huh. she’s that secretary who WILL spit in your coffee and kick you in the shin all because the CEO is in love with her and they’re like slamming ass. catra is like. just straight up rubbing it in everyone’s faces that she’s untouchable because adora is in love with her. that’s just. that’s just greaaat. they both start laughing again at their own jokes. and yeah they’re both pretty funny people but like ok lesbians. have fun being happy or whatever. catra is like “too good” and adora is like hehehe baby!!!! where are we going again and catra is like to the locker room!! there’s something i wanna show you😘😘😘 because you know they’re in love. them just walking down a corridor together feels like a straight up date. adora thinks they’re taking The Long Way instead of this shortcut she knows with a side door but that door is gone and suddenly this throws Doubt again. and i guess that door got swallowed up by the reality-collapsing portal but damn adora :/ what’s wrong with taking the long way? :/ too good to spend some quality time w ur gf? :/ JFJSJDJ anyway catra is like what? no this way is the right way :) the scene can be read as cute gfs who argue about directions even tho it’s just a walk to the locker room ❤️ i wouldn’t say it’s the right way to read the scene bc the point is that parts of reality as adora knows it is disappearing but shhh. i am gay <3 catra immediately starts worrying about adora again and she’s like DO U HAVE A CONCUSSION :( and like grabs adora’s face which is so cute. she also accidentally shoves adora towards her chest so adora has No Choice but to stare :) good for you adora “i know you get hit on the head a lot” JFKSKDKSJDJD man but catra gf goals tho :( get u a girl who will check if u have a concussion because you get hit on the head a lot, most of it accidents 😩😩😩 “but i figured your dumb little hair poof would cushion the blow” HDHJSSHAHSHSHSH GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND WHO WILL LOVE YOU EVEN THO UR HAIR POOF IS DUMB😳😳😳 adora is a tiny bit >:( about being roasted for her hair choices and also a bit >:) because catra touched her and she’s like LMAOOO IM ALL CHILL M8 😩👌🏻💅🏻😎 “don’t make me kick your butt” as she shoves catra. wow adora! watch where you’re putting your hands! jk i know i know :) you simply have no choice because the only place to shove someone is to push their tiddies :) i understand and approve :) catra responds to adora’s threats with “pft ;) as if you could” which is just yet another invitation for them to “fight” :). u know how i feel about catradora and their roughhousing? it’s like. u know how people talk about men fighting each other as an excuse to touch? i feel like catradora said yeah that’s ours now. and they’re right. it’s theirs. they literally. they fucking giggle and shit as they start shoving and hitting each other all the way to the locker room. and lonnie is like SURPRISE and adora’s reaction is so funny she legit looks like she got mad p*ssy blocked and she’s like the FUCK. and catra isn’t as mad bc she kind of like planned this cute like i love you adora❤️ surprise party. because it’s a surprise party! for adora! adora is like damn whats this?? grey ration bar cake w my face drawn on it? also from the looks of the drawing i feel like catra definitely drew it. isn’t that so fucking cute. adora hugs lonnie (yay) and kyle (what the fuck gross???) and she’s like u guys 😩😩😩u got the gray kind.... that’s way better than the brown kind.... lonnie is like “hey, it was catra’s idea!” implying that catra definitely specifically told them to make the cake out of the gray ration bars, not the brown ones. and adora. let’s all take a deep breath. she goes. “oh yeah? ;)” in the most. insufferably flirty way ever. like in that Wow This Was All You Huh ;) way, with her stupid hands on her stupid hips giving catra this 😏😏😏😏😏😏 look. and catra is like ;) casually leaning against the wall, her arms all crossed. it is interesting to note that adora keeps putting her hands on her hips and catra keeps crossing her arms. i think that’s really cute. catra says “eh, whatever, don’t make a big deal about it” but it is a big deal catra. u don’t just plan cute surprise parties for anyone. and the fact that this is YOU we’re talking about? for catra planning a thoughtful surprise party catered to adora’s tastes all because she’s proud of her accomplishments..... is on par with proposing marriage. adora won’t let catra live this down tho. “wow, i can’t believe you like me ;) that is so embarrassing for you!” and she grabs catra for head scratches. catra giggles and pushes against adora saying “stop it😳😳(no don’t stop bro don’t stop😩😩) get off 🙄🙄 (wait actually don’t get off😩😩) this is not 😡 because i like you😳😳(it’s because i love you💞)” and she shoves adora off only to IMMEDIATELY pounce on adora, making adora laugh so fucking happily. kyle is secretly a lesbophobe tho so when he sees this gay display he’s like WUUUUOHOH I DROP CAKE :( and we get this VERY quick frame of catra and adora with their fingers interlocked before they pull apart at the crash and look at kyle. that is so fucking rude of u kyle. we could’ve gotten a few more seconds of catra and adora interlacing their fingers but NO. fuck u. thankfully, the euphoria of being gay is still burning strong for catra and adora, so they laugh happily instead of beating the shit out of kyle. how sweet <3 adora sees the word MARA in one of the cake pieces, and she’s very thrown off right before catra holds her shoulder and is like “hang on, you got something right... THERE!” and she like throws grey bar sludge into adora’s face ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 u know? how you pal around with your gals? adora rubs the grey cake stuff off her face, and then.... ugh i don’t even wanna say her name. we were all having such a good gay time :( [redacted] walks in and tells adora to get off the floor, and tells catra to get herself cleaned up. and [redacted] tells adora to come with her. adora gazes gayly upon catra’s face who gives her a reassuring smile that tells adora she’s okay, so adora runs along. catra looks lovingly at adora while she walks away. shadow weaver praises adora’s successful war crime and adora is like i couldn’t have done it without the others aka catra <3 and in this fake reality she succeeded in persuading shadow weaver to let catra come with her! adora goes to the force captain briefing and gets roasted by scorpia because scorpia is still like. jealous of adora because you know..... you know how you hate the person your crush is in love with? yeah <3 adora freaks out because the universe is falling apart and she keeps getting visions from her real life. and then catra appears, and all the weirdness stops for a moment. i think it is so interesting how the world starts falling apart faster when catra isn’t there, but when catra is there things in the fake reality start to look and feel a little more normal. it’s like.... catra and adora’s connection is so strong that when they’re together... they can stabilize the collapse of a reality. just for a little while. just to have a little more time together. their gay levels are THAT strong. they’re like level 5000 lesbians. and they just keep leveling up as the show goes on which is why by s5 they can defeat an intergalactic conquerer just by making out LMAOOOOO anyway. catra is very worried about her wife. she’s all “adora, what is wrong?” yeah she’s so worried she doesn’t even use a contraction. adora takes out the slip of paper and shows it to catra. “did you write this?????” and catra looks at it and is like “did i write a blank piece of paper? i’m gonna go with no.” which. KFKDKFKDKFKDKFFJ BROOOO WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY. it’s like not supposed to be funny because adora is having a meltdown but it’s so fucking funny i—moving on. adora starts properly freaking out and catra is like hey :( u ok omg :( calm down :( and she puts her hand on adora’s shoulder but adora swats it away like I CAN’T CALM DOWN :( and she starts rambling and referencing stuff that happened and this vision of catra betraying adora in promise shows up (i think it’s catra’s memory?????) and catra slaps adora. which. HEY :( but also it’s like very funny. and adora is like ow :( what was that? :( and catra is like sowwy!!!! :( u were freaking out!!!! and it was freaking me out!!!!! :( and adora is like well u didn’t have to Slap Me :(((((( and is like why would my evil catgirl gf do this. have i not loved her enough :( is this the thanks i get for loving her with my entire heart :( and catra grabs her arm and is like come on!!!! let’s get you outside!!!! you need some air :) and oh. oh man. oh to have my hand/arm lovingly held by a girl as she giggles and excitedly drags me somewhere. the fucking dream. adora protests against getting air which (??????) u don’t want air? but u need air? to breathe? i know adora is just trying to say she doesn’t need to like go to her and catra’s secret place at the highest edge of the horde but then oh guess what? she’s there with catra. and adora is like how did we get here.... and catra looks depressed because her gf is losing it and that’s so sad 😔 she’s like how did we get here? we climbed up :( like we always do :( or am i the only one who remembers that :( and adora is like idk what’s happening to me :( it’s like i’m losing my mind..... and catra is like you just need to relax <3 by hanging out with me <3 and adora is like ur probs right :( am fine :( everything fine :( and she gets this glimpse of catra and catra smiling evilly at her but catra gets up and is like huh! ofc im right! Everything’s Perfect! soon, the two of us are gonna be ruling etheria together, just like we always planned 😺😸😹😻😼😽😾🙀 and quietly, adora goes “is that what you really want? to rule the world?” and catra gets this UHHHHH look akin to when someone asks u “hey, do you like apples? or are you just gay for me?” and you gotta awkwardly answer “what.... nooooo..... i’m not gay i fucking love apples” and so catra gets the exact face that expresses this sentiment and she’s like “i mean, yeah, obviously. isn’t that what you want too?” and it’s like UGHHHH because clearly neither of them want to rule the world! ruling the world was just an excuse for catra to be with adora, and when adora inevitably says “hey maybe we shouldn’t rule the world” catra will take it to mean “i don’t want to be with you” instead of “ruling the world is bad” and it’s just. it really tears me the fuck up bros! when catra says don’t you want to rule the world too? she really means don’t you want to be with me? and it’s just. HHHHHHHHH. i can NOT. i have had it up to HERE. adora says “i don’t know (re ruling the world lmao i went on a tangent earlier)” and catra is like “don’t flake out on me now!” like ruling the world is meeting up for lunch and suddenly adora texted at 11:30 am that she’s not really feeling up to it today :/ “this is what we always wanted”, catra continues to say, and we all know that “this” is..... the freedom to be with each other, without everything else getting in the way. “everything will be perfect as long as we stay together”. and she is right about that. but also catra’s current definition of them “staying together” isn’t right. adora and catra were always supposed to meet halfway. they will both have to grow to do that. but let’s not get 2 deep😩 i am here to have meltdowns and make gay jokes only😌 and then adora says “what if we don’t stay together? what if it all goes wrong?” which is like. damn that’s the show right there KFKSJDJSJDJ and adora sees lightning again and she gets upset because why can’t catra see the reality-cracking lightning too!!!! why can’t catra see the light!!!!! why can’t she see that she should be doing good things and not evil things!!!!! why can’t she see that she should be coming with me, running away with me, being with me in a place that’s safe!!!!! and catra grabs her hand and is like “adora!!! stay with me, okay? :( you’re just seeing things. it’s all in your head” and it is all so terribly tragic and sad. ah, the age old argument. come with me, stay with me. i will be whispering this in decades’ time, spreading gay tales to my loved ones. after this, lonnie is calling for adora and catra. “thought we’d find you up there” FJSJDJSJDJD the way it’s just like an open secret that catra and adora are gay and have a gay hangout spot where they do gay things. incredible. adora finds out an entire week has passed all of a sudden and she grips her head in frustration and catra is like adora? :( and holds her in concern. and adora is like ranting about how there’s something wrong with space and time!! and catra is just freaked out and begging her to stop because adora please! please stop finding the destruction of reality weird and hold my hand! i haven’t been happy since the day you left! and.... hoo okay sadness. catra’s holding her arm and adora’s like we’re not supposed to be here!!! catra holds her upper arms and goes “adora, everything’s okay!” and adora snaps and tells her to stop saying that! because this isn’t right! because she will lose everything, including catra, if she does not fix this. “everyone keeps telling me everything is perfect but it’s not! everyone except... scorpia” so she runs away to find her and catra is like adora!!! adora, where are you going? please don’t go. don’t go where i can’t follow😔😔 but adora is gone. we get this whole thing with scorpia and adora and adora is straight up just so petty. about scorpia hating her. which mood because i want everyone to like me. all the time. but also adora in scorpia’s defense she has a crush on a certain catgirl who will Not Shut Up about you :/ adora gets flashbacks about catra and realizes that the girl she’s been inappropriately touching for the past.... day? is the one who did the thing that is destroying reality❤️ LMAOOOOO this would be like... hm actually not many situations available to describe this. except. have you been flirting with the thing that’s been trying to kill us? have you been in love with the thing that’s been trying to kill us? yeah stuff like that <3 “catra did this. she captured me, she took... the sword. she activated the portal!” LFKSKDKSKDKDK you know what? this would be 58384848484 times funnier if they had canonically banged during the fake reality before adora realized the world as they all knew it was about to end <3 and you know what? they did bone. but it was cut for time <3 KFKDKDKDK JKJK god i need to like shut up for once in my life. but if i did that, these evaluations which no one asked for would not exist❤️ adora loses scorpia and razz (temporarily) and lonnie and she finds catra again! even tho she now remembers that catra kidnapped her and took her sword and used it for the portal and activated her portal.... she immediately grabs catra and pulls her along with her. despite knowing all that..... for the moment she is acting on instinct and doesn’t care. she just wants to keep catra with her and keep catra safe because the portal is swallowing up so many people and she cannot lose catra. adora drags her to this weapons closet that closes behind them and catra, instead of kissing her in this enclosed space (WIMP), shakes her and is like hey! you’ve officially lost it, haven’t you? and adora is like listen, we have to go. now! scorpia, lonnie, kyle, rogelio, they’re all gone! but catra is like what are you talking about? who’s gone? and adora’s all they’re gone. there’s nothing left. and we’ll be next if we don’t get out of here right now. and she’s so firm about it putting her entire foot down because No. not catra. she Cannot lose her. but catra is so stuck in wanting some part of all this to be real that she’s arguing with adora that she’s not making sense and Everything Is Fine. and adora goes “don’t say it’s Perfect. i know it’s not perfect and so do you!” because... she just knows catra that well. and she knows catra is smart enough to see what’s going on if scorpia did that too. catra’s choosing to repress it all, but adora’s words snap catra into memory for a moment, and she remembers it, maybe even remembers it all, and i think.... it all just hurts too much and she’d rather not be in that reality so she acts like she doesn’t know a thing and tells adora she’s not going anywhere. frustrated because she can’t convince catra, adora picks up one of the stun barons and... tases catra KFKSKDKDKDKSKDK and i can’t help but think of when catra tased adora back in sword part 2 (1x02) and man that is not good but also so funny that they’ve both tased each other. there’s this desperation there in both instances that we should definitely not romanticize at all but they just. deep down they will just do close to anything to keep the other with them. and it is messed up! and i’m glad that a little ways down the road they unlearn this but also.... wow. adora catches catra tenderly in her arms as she slumps against her, literally fucking BRIDAL CARRYING catra out and running away from the crumbling horde. literally IMAGINE IF LIKE. catra did not wake up and fight with adora. imagine if catra had stayed passed out longer and adora had fixed the portal without anyone getting left behind. and catra was still unconscious and she like walks out of the portal back into where they all were with catra in her arms like that. just like hey i fixed the portal :) all of us nearly died and it was kind of partially this catgirl’s fault but i’m like low key desperately in love with her so can we keep her? lmao :-) anyway. adora steals a skiff again (lmao first ep throw back! remember their date) and flies her and catra out of the crumbling world. catra wakes up, watching adora’s determined face as she flies them out and catra’s like WAIT WTF DIDN’T U TASE ME and is like hypocritically fighting adora trying to grab the stun baton. bad idea! adora’s DRIVING you don’t attack the driver!! but catra does not often make good decisions </3 the skiff crashes and they both fall off. they get up, look at each other angrily and run after the stun baton. catra grabs it first but adora hits it out of her hand and grapples catra who continues to keep reaching for the weapon. “catra, you can’t. we need to get as far from the fright zone as possible or we’ll be completely erased along with everything else.” “you think you can convince me by kidnapping me?” well no but goddamn the world is COLLAPSING catra PLEASE :( also is the power of love not enough? catra she loves you she’s in love with you she would pull you from the depths of hell even if you threw everyone in there in the first place!!!!!! that’s how deep this runs because that’s not even a metaphor adora has identified you as the main party who brought upon this reality ripping portal and still!!! she wants you saved. is that not fucking hot? :/ is that not sexy enough for you? :/ KFKSKDKSKDK jkjk okay catra continues with “what is wrong with you?!” and throws adora over her shoulder. not to like. ruin a very heated and serious moment in the show. but catra throwing adora like it’s nothing is like... very strong..... and when you remember how adora likes strong girls........ KFKDKDKDKDKDKDJ adora b like ow that hurts 😔 u free next friday? 😳 catra goes up to the stun baton again and adora kicks it away. “i won’t leave you behind again.” “why can’t you just stay? we have everything we ever wanted.” BITCH THE WORLD IS COLLAPSING IN ON ITSELF. THERE’S A PORTAL EATING UP REALITY. STAY WHERE? “it’s not real, catra.” YES. save the world first, and then after this you can play rock paper scissors and the loser will go with the winner❤️ wouldn’t it be so funny if they did that. if they decided to leave it up to chance. if adora was like well the horde is evil but if you beat me in rock paper scissors i guess i will follow you wherever you go. and then they like fix the portal and everyone is like yay hey adora lets go back to bright moon! and she’s like yeah uh i gotta hash out this situation with my gf real quick uh just a little heads up i might be bringing the horde’s best strategist and leader over to our side OR i might be fighting for the bad people again :/ so wish me luck and everyone just had to stand there and watch as adora and catra held their hands out and went ROCK PAPER SCISSORS SHOOT anyway. “as much as i wish that things could be simple the way they used to be, there’s no going back.” and she holds catra gently and in many ways i think she’s sort of acknowledging that she really, really just wants that light hearted playful dynamic with catra back. they both just experienced it again. they both just threw themselves back into it again. and adora really wants to be happy with catra, she would stay with catra if she could, but she has overwhelming responsibilities and an overwhelming sense of responsibility that was instilled in her from a young age. and she thinks she shouldn’t get to choose her happiness, to put herself first. also like. THE HORDE IS EVIL DJSJDJSNDNSJS like. that’s a really important part too. it’s kind of hard for catra to distinguish that though because she’s had very. evil things done to her all her life. and she held on for so long because she thought adora would always be there with her but then adora walks away and makes it seem like. it could have been that easy. but it can’t have been that easy because if it was so easy why did catra have to suffer so much for? also adora didn’t run away to save catra. she had this destiny thrust upon her, and she chose to leave the horde before inviting catra along, which is not wrong of her at all, but it inevitably made catra feel like an afterthought. and now... things are kind of damaged. and catra just wants to run if adora won’t stay, so she shoves adora and takes off and adora lunges after her, tackling her, and adora decides to confront catra about the big elephant in the room, the thing she’s not said a thing about to catra until now when they’re fighting because she was so desperate to save catra before. “why did you do it?” “i don’t know what you’re talking about!” which is a lie but now that she really gets to see the consequences of her rage and anguish filled actions, i don’t think catra can properly explain it either. she was just so angry and she had built this narrative in her head that it was adora’s fault, and so she just wanted to do everything that adora didn’t want her to do. except u failed catra😔 adora wants you to love her and you do, you do love her😔 oopsie😔 you just don’t show it in healthy ways most of the time because your relationship is fraught with tragedy and abusive upbringings💔 adora gives up questioning catra for the moment because “there’s no time. we have to go.” catra grunts as adora’s childhood promise plays in her mind and it is overlaid with the adora of the present telling her “i promise, everything will be okay if we just stay together.” and goddamn adora really means it. she’s literally willing to patch everything up together even after everything if catra will just Decide right here, right now, to go with her. right then, the memory of adora first asking catra to come with her plays and adora is asking her, “help me fix this, please, this can’t be what you wanted” because adora knows! she knows how caught up catra was, in her pain and anger and desperation to win, to overcome all the times she lost growing up. she believed that catra, with her loving heart that saved adora everyday they knew each other growing up, could not have wanted to erase all of reality. to erase what they had. but just because adora knows that doesn’t mean catra does. all the rage and pain and resentment that led to her opening the portal, it is still there, and it is still affecting her judgement in a bad way, and by reminding her that she cannot just repress it all, that she cannot just play pretend with adora until their time is up,,,, this leads her to lash out again :( :( :( “don’t you get it? i am never going to go with you.” i wanna be like sad but also this bitch straight up LYING remember that other time she said “don’t you get it?” remember what came after that? so maybe catra in this moment is too angry and consumed by self hatred, too proud to admit she wants adora when she thinks adora doesn’t want her the way she wants her.... but “never”? lmaooooo ok :/ catra evil gay laughs and goes “you always have to go and ruin it, don’t you?” ruin what???? the illusion????? the pretenses you work so hard to keep to cover up how deep the feelings you both have run??? catra lunges for adora and fights with her, scratching and missing because adora is dodging and catra’s heart is too.... sigh..... she’s too fucking gay to really bring it ok? no matter how angry she is she still loves adora too much to give it her best. adora doesn’t fight back, mostly defending and pushing catra away. “catra, look what’s happening. you’re going to destroy everything!” catra stomped on her heart and she still wants to Convince her, which is really sad, for now, for both of them. and catra goes feral and is like “i don’t care! i won’t let you win. i’d rather see the whole world end than let that happen.” :( bro? this song is so sad. can we change it? sigh. catra is too far gone at the moment. everything, even the slightest concession to adora, even at the expense of existence, is like admitting defeat to catra. and when catra says she’d rather see the whole world end than let adora win, she’s also saying she’d let herself... die. and that is just so sad. bro who gave season three the right. like... i am so exhausted. i am just trying to call some bitches out for being gay, i did not sign up for all this pain. i am so exhausted. this episode is twenty odd minutes or so. you know how many hours i’ve spent writing this? it’s not anyone’s fault but mine for being extra, but man i am so tired. i love seeing catradora interact, but god, at what cost? the portal rips up the ground between them, and catra grabs at adora, clutching onto her badge. i cannot tell if she was just trying to take it off or she wanted to grab adora and pull her close too. “catra, no!” adora grabs catra’s wrist but the badge falls off and catra falls too. “catra!” catra is on some rock in the falling heap, and adora reaches for her but she’s too far away. still, she keeps her hand outstretched. but catra, who’s hanging on by a rock at this point, gives her this look of... almost helplessness. that then hardens into resentment and anger and she just. lets go. and adora, who has tears in her eyes, is just. she absolutely crumbles here. and she runs a good distance away and falls to her knees and just starts SOBBING. she is just crying so hard over losing catra AGAIN and it’s just. That’s Too Much, Man! thankfully, razz shows up and is like stop crying bitch u can still save her ❤️ so adora decides to stop crying for all time and gets to work❤️ 10/10 but also did i ask? :/ yes i did and i am in so much pain right now. my god what an episode

the portal: it’s so fucking refreshing not seeing catradora for a bit <3 i spent hours watching remember ok. here i am now starting the last ep at least a full week later because of how much it was. sometimes this show is too gay <3 i love it tho! i do <3 it’s just hard having to pause and replay every five seconds and write an essay about the tiniest thing <3 and i know what you’re thinking <3 no one asked me to do this <3 no one asked me to be so extra <3 and yet <3 anyway, more than half of the ep passes with adora losing bow and glimmer in the end, but as she’s crying on her knees again she lifts her head up and corrupted!catra touches her forehead with one finger. oh <3 that’s gay <3 anyway, catra’s here because she died but she’s got like nine lives so she’s back now and infected by the collapsing portal. oh great! we get what is probably the most cursed ḩ̵͕̺̯͚̞͈̰̤͎̥̗̳͂̽̃̄͌̎̅̈́̏̎͘͝͝ẻ̷͇͚͈̤̪̖̜̥̥̱̼̅̒͌͗͝y̴̥̺̓͌͊͌̊͒͌̏̔̕͝ ̶̧̟̤̠̯̱̳͕̙̯̔ͅá̶̤͉͕̱̰̮̺̮̝̗̱̲͓̺̯̒͐͐d̵̨̟̖̦̈̑̄̌̍̆̀̾̊̑̽͗͝͠ȏ̷̧̢̨̞̮͇̟̘̘̠̼̊͆̐̉̉̀̌̿̚ͅŗ̴̢̬͚͉̦̘̪̜̥̑̔̈́̀̒͂͗͜͠ͅą̸̡̡͕͈͚͕̼͔̳͔̖̙̯̱̓͗̊́. the look on adora’s face when she’s greeted with this is very interesting. she gives catra this little once over. on one hand, catra isn’t gone like adora thought when she had lost her into the collapsing portal, but also something about this catra definitely doesn’t look right. catra then proceeds to slam adora into another dimension. flat against the bar table in the crimson waste... and ngl it looks like. catra slammed her on the table for :/ stuff :/ that’s like :/ you know :/ banging :/ and adora even looks around for a moment because catra isn’t there and adora’s thinking damn where u at catra? :/ so you didn’t slam me against this table for... no? :( we aren’t gonna slam ass? :( but then surprise surprise! catra straddles her at the last moment! adora gasps and catra is like oh... where are your friends? in that unsettling corrupted tone. notice how adora has been silent this entire time. so horny you couldn’t speak bitch? :/ sadly, catra lunges for adora and adora realizes that catra is still evil and that she isn’t going to kiss her gently on the lips after all 😔 adora grabs catra by the arm and pulls her close. she puts her other hand on catra’s shoulder. adora baby.... you don’t need to touch her with both hands. are you that gay? yes. why am i even asking that question. “catra, stop. you have to–“ catra pushes her face aside. “it’s always the same with you, adora. i have to do this, oh we have to do that!” and then they’re like gay struggling against each other? and catra pulls adora up and holds her tight against her, adora’s arm bent over catra’s shoulder to keep her there. then with her other arm she wraps her elbow around adora’s other arm to further restrain her? and then she puts her face right against adora’s cheek. i don’t know how to explain this. it’s just. homoerotic. damn the gays fight like this? catra then tosses adora aside and they land somewhere else. catra says like things to adora that are about her insecurities and stuff. but i’m not gonna get into those <3 isn’t that so sexy of me? instead i will say this. catra kind of like fights one sidedly with adora a lot in this segment where they go through various locations we’ve seen in the show, and she like talks a lot of shit. but let’s focus on how adora’s feeling <3 she goes through it like this. 1) not horny anymore! i’m scared/insecure/angry with catra now 2) catra throws adora into the big chair on mara’s ship and catra slams her hand against it next to adora’s face like how someone might do before you kiss them in movies 3) horny again 4) catra doesn’t say sorry for the mean things corrupted her said and she didn’t kiss her gently on the lips so adora gets her shit together and realizes all the things evil corrupted catra is saying is not her fault! she pushes catra away and is like “i didn’t make you pull the switch. i didn’t make you do anything! i didn’t break the world, but i am gonna fix it. and you? you made your choice. now live with it!” and in between all that she fights back against catra and at the end she does you know that punch we all know about. but after the punch she calms down from that emotional breakthrough high and gets this :( face. at the end of the day... no matter how far gone catra went, no matter how right she was in setting those boundaries and making it clear catra has to be responsible for her actions, adora cares. adora loves her, it’s the one thing she can’t help. and to see catra sink so deep into the darkness... it hurts her. adora watches catra disintegrate when they fall into the wormhole thing that the portal caused, and she has this like. >:( :( look because adora’s planning to fix everything anyway, the upsetting thing here for her is that she failed to make catra see sense. catra’s likely going back to the horde when all of this is over and there’s nothing adora can do about it. and at the moment i don’t think adora wants to try anymore after failing so many times... which is good for her! but also they are both going to be so sad after this </3 after the whole angella scene (miss that milf) adora gets the sword back and becomes she ra again. we go back to the scene in the horde and catra clutches the side of her face, so we know that was her but it also wasn’t Her, you know? like part of her face got corrupted by the portal and she just had to make sure she was real and whole again. adora comes back as she-ra and destroys the portal, prompting catra to escape. but she looks back at the last moment, looks back angrily, and adora gives her an equally hard stare. she’s done with catra, for the moment, and catra realizes this, and it kind of hits her that this adora is different now. and for a moment she is sad and afraid, but she pulls it together to make a mean face again, before running away. 9/10

#text #she ra #catradora #spop #this is so long i hate myself #please like this and find it funny #also feel free to discuss any of the concepts or scenarios or things or whatever i brought up in here #we are on catradora s3 evaluation lockdown!#also yes i started using emojis here which i did not use for s1 and s2 #have fun reading!#please rb this

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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years

Text

mtmte liveblog issues 4&5

its delphi time babey

I'm sorry but drift & co look like such fuckin nerds on their scooter things on the cover lmaooo

oh god. seeing the first page just reminded me of how horribly confused i was for this whole little arc the first time i read it. i was like ok, who are all these new characters, and also why does everyone look so similar

anyways now i now what's going on. i love first aid

love the running continuity of rung being the literal only psychologist on cybertron (except for fr*id but that's later). no wonder everyone's fucked up they all have to share a single therapist

ok i find it extremely funny that first aid was demoted from doctor to nurse, as if that's a thing that happens EVER - I mean it'd be one thing if first aid was a nurse practitioner (which i doubt is a position that exists here), at least that demotion would make sense, but like...the doctors i work with don't know how to do most nurse stuff (like BP, cathing, vaccinations, hell even using some of the thermometers - that's all stuff nurses/etc do), so demoting one to a nurse would be a disaster (just like promoting a really good nurse to a doctor would be a bad idea). anyways i know I'm being pedantic but it Be like that when you work in the medical field and read something that has medicine-related stuff in it

i love swerve giving ratchet the tiniest free drink ever lmaooo

is that skids being a rowdy drunk in the bg lmaoooo

unironically i love medical statistics. keep it comin

i love magnus’s giant sternal chestpiece thing. its like a bird’s sternum but without the massive pec muscles attached

i love magnus and rodimus’s dynamic so much

oh pipes....im so sorry but this fun space adventure is going to be not so much fun for you

ratchets ideologies are certainly interesting, and i liked seeing how they changed over the course of the story

drift: why would i be SCARED of the DJD, I've got a SWORD, two swords even,

hvbhajkhfbsdjkf pipes really said ‘oi, you two - what's this, then?’ that's the most british fucking thing, that's literally something i say when I'm doing an overexaggerated british accent, oh my god,

PIPES IS SUCH A TINY DUMBASS. ILY SIR BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

aaaand now you're covered in dead bodies, pipes. look at your life, look at your choices

drift epic sword moments

drift confirmed for the kinda weird guy who has katanas that he uses to like, cut up fruit and water bottles in his backyard while rodimus films him

‘i thought i heard...bickering’ lmaooooo

ah, so its covid

this arc is how i feel working in healthcare lmaooo especially now that i probably have covid

so rewind condensed the entire war into an 11 second long cringe compilation. nice

seeing the mechanical stuff past tailgate’s visor is so cool

poor tailgate, this guy is getting slammed with history from multiple sides. and like, bias is inevitable in ANY sort of recounting of events, especially controversial historical events, so poor tg just kinda has to take it all in and decide who to listen to

that’s...not really how immunity works, guys. also, you shouldn't be exposed to so much disease with proper ppe usage

is there even such thing as ppe in the transformers universe?? there are fluid- and contact-transmitted illnesses, so there SHOULD be

is there even OSHA in this universe??????? unbelievable

first aid, holding a giant fucking claw clamp: we haven't tried EVERYTHING............

first aid read a human wikihow article on how to jumpstart a car and took notes

i love tailgate’s ‘mom says its my turn on the xbox’ pose

tailgate has a point - he’s from pre-war times, where things weren't as grey so of course he would try to divide the two sides into ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’

CYCLONUS BE NICE DONT HIT UR FUTURE HUSBAND

go get some character development and then maybe you'll feel better

seeing the word quarantine is making me twitchy w/my possible month-long complete isolation quarantine on the horizon

drift pulling his swords on pipes and ratchet pushing down drift’s arms...lmao

poor pipes...even tho this is completely his fault, its still rough

also jesus, pharma and ratchet look so goddamn similar, reading this was so confusing the first time around

drifts idea of subduing pipes involves turning into a cool car and also posing with his sword

also. never gonna be over drift’s massive thighs. jesus man

ooof now drift has the rona. ouch

poor drift, his covid realization is getting overshadowed by pharma being flung around

first aid bustin thru w/the epic medical nipple clamps and some Big Boi Backup

ok that's an epic pre-beatdown speech from fort max right there, daym

im just gonna continue on w/issue 5 now for continuity’s sake. yay!

the cover of tailgate in magnus’s autobot school is so cute

and we open with an incredible shot of fort max str8 up ripping a guy in half. i mean, to be fair, he DID just give an epic speech about how much he was gonna do that, and he certainly followed thru

yeahhhhh, fort max is not doing so well atm

when he puts that dudes head in his chest vent thing and then snaps it shut....man

also i fucking LOVE when their faces are shaded all in black w/only the eyes/mouth fully drawn...fantastic stuff

ratchet: phew i am not equipped to deal w/this level of Fucked Up Mental Trauma. u good m8?

ratchet is already writing up a referral to rung for fort max as this is happening

drift is just laying on the ground dying like, oh hey yeahh I'm still here too

i fucking love when punctuation is drawn in story - like here where first aid has a little ? over his head....fav

ratchet holding drifts hand ;_;

ok tbh ambulon having switched sides 10 yrs ago is wild bc like, 10 years is barely any time for these guys, especially in a war that lasted 4 million years. that would be like a human switching sides in a war like, 3 months before it ends. probably. i sense some math bs, I'm just extrapolating here

all that mexican standoff shit is going down and first aid is just like But That's None Of My Business

ah so ambulon is an asymptomatic carrier

and there's first aid with the save! iconic

pharma calling ratchet ‘buddy’ hbvakjdsbfhkasdf

ooooh i love that they figured it out - and i love that twist, that transforming is what triggers the start of symptoms. remember when drift turned into a cool car? yep

s/o to Ambulon Transformers for helping me in my medical terminology courses, bc now ill always remember: Leg(tm)

also this explanation makes a ton more sense (in universe, at least) than the whole ‘i guess we as medical staff have been exposed to enough Germz that we’re more immune to this or something’ theory

ah, i love the meaningless (to me) alien robot medical jargon

drift and ratchet hhhhhhhhh

‘I'm too wide’ fort max L O R G E

also once again drift is forgotten in favor of a bunch of other dramatic stuff happening vbhjksdfbjhskdf

godddd i love tailgates little flashbacks where we see how Important and Special he is, complete with his ‘bomb disposal’ arm label...augh its so good!

and tailgate’s autopedia page even reflects his lies! like, did tailgate go edit that first thing upon waking up??? seriously, I'm fascinated by tailgate’s meticulous dedication to his fake life

also the fact that ultra magnus believes everything he read on autopedia is amazing lmao

ultra magnus: you think somebody would just go on the internet and tell lies?

fuckgin love magnus’s long ass name/title placard

tailgate hvbahjkdfbjhaskf i mean, he’s gotten the abridged version of everything else, of course he would assume that’d be the case here too...but not on magnus’s watch

magnus cant even say ‘fun’ hvukdasdbjfkjsadf i love my uptight law dad

love rung implying that upon questioning, he would easily divulge a patient’s name and maybe even information about said patient’s treatment while under him....love the disregard for patient confidentiality and hipaa in general

not that hipaa seems to exist here, at least not in a fully realized form

also i mean the above genuinely, i think rung’s tendency towards at least slight malpractice is very interesting

poor red alert....super bad luck that HE was the guy to get roped up in that overlord business

I'm glad that, at the very least, red alert was able to prove that he was Actually hearing something to rung, rather than get brushed off completely

god magnus and tailgate’s interactions are golden

also tg is much more sarcastic/quippy than anyone gives him credit for tbh

‘thought warfare,’ ultra magnus says with complete seriousness. god i fucking love this comic

now i can tell pharma apart from ratchet bc pharma has let his true Petty Bitch nature emerge and you can see it in his expressions

the whole ‘tarn is addicted to transforming’ thing didn't really go anywhere, right? i feel like i noticed that on my second readthru as well

also pharma is such an interesting character given the context of him like, trying to strike a bargain w/the djd to keep them from destroying delphi, but that arrangement inevitably kinda making him lose it as the situation escalates. he’s also just really entertaining bc i feel like he kins the joker or st and probably gets into really heated arguments w/people on twitter about just abt anything

‘sound bomb’ i love this comic

another important facet of pharma’s character becomes clear around this time as well - how he’s really into ratchet. i also choose to read them as awful exes tbh, it makes their dynamic even more entertaining

‘killmaster, with the wand’ is one of my favorite running remarks lmao

also, was killmaster even a character before mtmte? or, if he was, was he an important one? it would crack me up the most if he literally didn't exist at all, but any way you spin it is still funny

ratchet’s tiny humansona facing off against pharma is wild

‘I'm miles from anyone i truly care about’ brutal, ratchet, drift is dying like 2 floors away (im p sure)

SUDDENLY DRIFT IS HERE, ACTUALLY

oh don't worry first aid, that sure isn't the last we’ll be seeing of pharma

so like, did first aid save everyone by posting that data log to his wreckers fan blog or something? lmao love it

i love the pretty fucked up reveal of ratchet having stolen pharma’s hands. like, damn dude.

and that wraps up the delphi arc! our first true ‘arc’ of mtmte, and a fantastic one at that. short and snappy and fresh, with some very clever writing and cool new characters, and a lot of great plot threads to be picked up later. plus, we got to see the beginnings of drift and ratchet’s whole thing (and ratchet and pharmas whole thing). and the lost light gets some much needed extra medical staff, so everyone wins!

well, we’ll see how fort max feels about this all pretty soon.....

#lj rereads mtmte #love me some delphi

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rkmason · 5 years

Photo

▰▰▰▰▰▰ MNET GLOBAL AUDITIONS, SEASON 5 ˟ EP. 2 PERFORMANCE ▰▰▰▰▰▰

memories come flooding back the him the more he goes through the motions of the competition. he remembers asking luna for her opinion on his stage outfits so far, on what he ought to go for next, running into someone he didn’t know would become his sunbae in nova to ask something similar: how to step up his fashion game other than stealing from ty’s closet, something his roommate at the time was bound to notice when they competed on the same reason, on the same stage.

walking into the set for the next round, with its new layout, its less crowded layout, it feels bittersweet. he’s already lost a few friends from the last round to this one and he lets out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding onto. compared to last week, he realizes it’s better to show his nervousness, to show weakness, but it’s a concept he has to become comfortable with. [he won’t grow otherwise, will stop changing if he doesn’t.]

his palms are sweaty and he still isn’t done using the same tired ass joke about eminem and 8 mile, as if he focuses on it to keep his own spirits up instead. maybe he needs to. because he heard about how his appearance was edited, how it looked, how he seemed too casual for someone coming back after debuting once already, acting like he didn’t leave two companies by now. patting his hands on his pants, he takes another deep breath, looks around for a familiar face.

when she walks in, sakura comes by to greet him and he feels calmer, sated, relaxed again for a moment because seeing sakura reminds him of seeing his little brother again, makes him feel as if he’s seeing his own little sister. he hugs her back, gives her wishes of good luck and affirmation that she’ll do great but saying that to her, seeing the chairs surrounding them remind him this is a competition and it could come down to them in the rapping category. she’s someone he wouldn’t want to go against because he’d feel weakened by it and it reminds him of the conversations he’s had since they left the set last week.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ PAUSE, REWIND ⭯

“hey dabin—”

“not right now, hyung.”

“oh, okay. yeah, later then.”

he’d stopped by the apartment dabin shared with seik and it didn’t feel like home the way it used to a few years ago before he moved where he is now. it didn’t feel like he could crash on their sofa again and wake up to seik scolding dabin for not telling him when they ran out of something in the kitchen again. everything had its own routine back then, when things were simpler, but not anymore.

seik walks out of his room, hair messy after waking up from his nap because of a particular door slam. “he still upset?”

“…yeah.”

“he’ll get over it.”

“feels different this time.”

“maybe he’s jealous.”

“what?”

chuckling, seik quirks his brows, pouring himself a glass of water and sitting on the edge of the kitchen table. he looks more amused than minho thinks anyone should be when his friends are at odds like this. his exasperation only grows as seik doesn’t speak just yet, taking sips until he finishes, accented by the loud ahh he lets out, the clink of the glass in the sink the only sound until minho’s patience wears out.

“come on, man. explain yourself.”

“you didn’t make the same offer.”

brows furrowing, his face twists in confusion as he follows seik to the living room. “what offer?”

“to give your spot to him.” this time, he’s the one who goes silent and all he can manage is wetting his lips, eyes widening every once in a while before returning to their previous state, just more hesitant in expression.

“i get it.” seik’s voice is softer this time, almost apologetic, the past coming back to him too. “but to dabin… the hyung he followed for so long, the one he defends every time…”

“yeah.” minho doesn’t sound like himself when he says it, nodding his head, fists clenched at his side, and, instead of going to dabin’s room, he leaves the apartment quietly.

going to the only other place he knows as well, the other place he’s as comfortable in on his own, he goes to the dance studio they rent for Kill.U.Strate. it’s empty today, not in as much use as before when they practically lived there now that the guys’ projects began to split off, and he lays there. eyes closed, hands folded on his stomach, legs crossed at his ankles, he just lays there.

he doesn’t have any answers for his family, for his friends, and the joy that he found after finding out he moved on, after getting that call from mijoo when she watched the episode air and hearing her cry because of him again but for a good reason, that joy is slipping from his fingers again. he doesn’t know what to say to kikwang either when he comes into the practice room and he’s sitting up, letting out a slight groan because he’d been in that position for too long. the smallest things could affect your back and posture after all. he should’ve been more careful.

not much has to be said and he’s glad kikwang is a good enough friend to join him, to talk like things are normal, and to not skip a beat when minho asks, “do you wish i could give you my spot on the show?”

“i meant what i texted you. i want you to win this season, hyung.” they spend some time in the practice room just hanging out, dancing a little, before kikwang says it’s all his so he can prepare for the next episode filming. he can’t get a protest out in time before kikwang’s gone and he’s running his fingers through his hair, sighing as he looks around, the room only seeming more glum when he’s alone.

there’s no progress when the door opens an hour later and the last person he expected to come in walks through. there’s a cap over his head, shielding half his face, but minho would recognize him anywhere. sure, some of his friends remind him of his younger brother but, on days like this, dabin pretty much is minho’s little brother and he’s gesturing for him to come over. the hug is brief and dabin sighs as he stands in front of the older.

“i don’t want you to give me your spot.”

“i know.”

“so if y— wait… you know?”

“yeah.”

“seik told you.” dabin gets the same answer and he inhales sharply, exhales slowly. “i thought that’s why you left the apartment without saying anything. i thought you were gonna go…”

the thought is there even if the sentence is left hanging, words dabin doesn’t seem to want to say, and minho shakes his head as he puts a hand on dabin’s shoulder. “i care about ya as much as i did jaebum back then but… i’m not planning on giving my spot up for anyone this time.”

“okay.”

“you jus’ sayin’ that or are you okay with it?”

“i’m good.”

narrowing his eyes, he wraps an arm around dabin’s neck, pulling him closer. “so… you thought it meant i like jaebum more than you?”

“hyung.”

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ PRESS PLAY, BACK TO THE SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING

finding a seat proves more difficult than he thought it would be and when more people settle in, minho realizes he needs to figure out what he’s doing soon. although he could sit near sakura and talk to her, he knows she’s there with friends and that he’d end up distracted. besides, when people were still convinced he broke his contract for dating without his own confirmation, he doesn’t want to add fuel to the fire. instead, he goes another route, ends up recognizing someone from their performance last time and how he liked their vibe.

so he’s standing near them, calling out and going, “hey do you have ig? let me add you” because he’s thought of the first face-to-face impression he wants to make and is committed to it as stupid as it is. the name is given to him and he types it in as quickly as he was told, opening the messages and sending him one.

can i slide into that seat next to you like i slid into ur dms

the laugh he gets is enough of an answer for him to sit down with a proud grin, laughing at himself. even if he told himself not to brush everything off, to not laugh everything off, there are some moments that ought’a be like this. his instagram is distinguishable enough to him as he gets comfy in his new seat and this time he’s the one that bursts into laughter when ian says to him, “anyone ever tell you that you’re a thirst trap?” definitely not the first time and minho shares that sentiment before opening his phone to look at ian’s posts too. it was a good distraction in the meantime but when it appears all the sears are filled, he feels the nerves building up again, his thoughts wander and they go back further than he should let them.

he had a wounded ego years ago. thought too much of himself and his future and yet not enough. a dream to be someone of influence but not decisive enough to follow through, ill-educated about life in general. there are days he still doesn’t feel ready but no one wants to know about that. at least, that’s what he’s told himself for years. no one wants a gloomy gus. no one wants to hang out with the weird kid in the back sulking over the lack of acknowledgment by his father. no one wants to be the friend of someone who dwells too much in the past instead of making sure every moment is a good time. that was the lesson he insisted on from a young age. on days that his brother was too busy, that her sister was annoyed by everything, days when his mother was too tired to cook, days that his little brother whines for someone to play with, he knew what his role was. a mood-maker, a mood-lifter.

the performances he gave years ago were bits and pieces of him, scraps sewn together by a beginner. this song feels more complex, more complete, each thread and stitch made by someone more honest with himself. because it’s okay not to feel like the best sometimes. because he told the audience back then not to let anyone convince them otherwise and ignored that the person who told him that most was himself; the one that convinced him he wasn’t the best he could be was always him.

his mother called him the same night he’d talked to kikwang and dabin in the practice room and his mind is still hazy, he can’t think coherently about a song or anything. whether he should dance or not, but just before that hung up that day, his mother said something he’s brought with him today, on his mind, in his heart, lyrics dancing around in his head, ready to spill from a thirsty mouth— thirsty to tell the truth, to put his truth out there. “don’t keep everything inside.”

when he first heard about the comments, was told about them, read them himself, he thought he should just let it go, push his heart back into its proper place when it lodged itself in his throat. two minutes, two minutes to show who he is again, and answer the concerns that’d been brought up. answers, answers, answers.

in school, we’re taught the same. find the right answer. every time, find the right answer but he doesn’t follow that. rules in black and white, but he operates in shades of gray. that’s how he finds his next song. a simple beat, but lyrics with a powerful message. this isn’t for his ex-group members, for his parents, for his siblings, for his girlfriend, or for his friends. this is for his own clarity by letting his heart purge. instead of layering it with band-aids, wrapping it to be kept safe, he lets his heart bleed onto the page. he adds color to his own world.

●●●●●● NEXT ON STAGE, CHOI MINHO, EP. 2 — 7월 4일 ●●●●●●

one more time today, his hands are sweaty. no eminem joke. it doesn’t even cross his mind because his heart is climbing, racing as it tries to scale his throat, and he swallows thickly, wills himself to breathe.

shit, just breathe.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 탓 BLAME ♫ SELF-WRITTEN TIME STAMPS ( IN ORDER ) 0:20 to 1:10 / 1:20 to 1:26 / 1:48 to 2:15 / 3:02 to 3:29 NOTE: his gestures and expressions are similar to that of vinxen’s in the video if not written !

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 난 이 늪에 있어 난 이 늪에 있어 I’M IN THIS SWAMP, I’M IN THIS SWAMP

모두가 날 내려다보는 이 늪에 있어 I’M IN THIS SWAMP WHERE EVERYBODY IS LOOKING DOWN

넌 내 옆에 있어 주기를 바랬던 마음 I JUST WISHED YOU WERE NEXT TO ME

아직 선명히 남아있어 등 돌리던 날 BUT IT’S STILL VERY CLEAR, THE DAY YOU BETRAYED (ME)

나 혼자 늪에 있어 혼자 늪에 있어 I’M ALONE IN THIS SWAMP, ALONE IN THIS SWAMP

저 네티즌가 날 비웃고 하늘 날고 있어 THESE NETIZENS* ARE MAKING FUN OF ME, FLYING UP HIGH

난 알고 있어 애초에 알고 있었어 I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT FROM THE BEGINNING

흐려져가는 시야를 탓하고 있어 I BLAME (IT ON) MY BLURRY VISION ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

nothing confirmed, but it’s easier to believe anything that way, isn’t it? it didn’t matter if sphere spared him the scandal, spared the group the scandal, it would follow him and being lonely has to be about his love life. his age. the audacity he has to come back. how he should be giving other people a shot. he’s seen it all and instead of letting it go, he wears it on his sleeve. he lets the weight of his own guilt show instead of hiding it away with i’m okay and i’m gonna do me like he’s been saying since he walked out of the company one last time.

he stops pretending that he wasn’t hurt by the fact that he did know who outed his relationship, that he did know who wanted to see him fall.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 난 이 늪에 있어 난 이 늪에 있어 I’M IN THIS SWAMP, I’M IN THIS SWAMP

아주 더럽고도 추잡한 이 늪에 있어 I’M IN THIS SWAMP FULL OF TRASH*

냄새도 못 맡을 정도로 떨어져 멀리 GO AWAY SO YOU CAN’T SMELL ME

보이지도 않니 손에 미세한 떨림 CAN’T YOU SEE MY FINGERS SHAKING

넌 변해있어 많이 변해있어 YOU CHANGED A LOT, YOU CHANGED A LOT

나란 그늘을 치우니 안색이 밝아졌어 AS I REMOVED MY SHADE FROM YOU, YOU LOOKED OKAY

위로 혹은 악연으로 포장해낸 것들이 PLEASE BLAME ME FOR WHAT HAPPENED

내 탓이라고 말해줘 제발 EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE MISFORTUNE ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

when he left, he told himself he was laying in the bed he made and it’s why as he raps, he can’t make eye contact, can’t look directly at anyone. he’s avoiding people and it was a tell-tale sign that he wasn’t okay, a sign he ignored for months because he kept busy, said he didn’t see people as often because he was working but it was more than that. he didn’t know how to feel.

it was still his fault in the end. still because of him that he had to leave. reckless, stupid, all the insults he had for himself in high school chase him to this stage again, try to stain the page with spilled ink, with trash, but he holds the pen, keeps it held high the same way he holds onto the microphone.

the news article said he chose to depart from the group. it was right. he just didn’t know how far back the decision was that sealed his fate.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ [NEW HANGUL PENDING] THOUGHT IT WAS UNFAIR THAT NO MATTER HOW HARD

[NEW HANGUL PENDING] TRAINEES AND IDOLS DO, IT’S NOT ENOUGH

확실히 압살하고자 아빠 손 벌려 잡은 지하방에서 손꼽아 기다리고 있어 FOR MY COMPLETE VICTORY, I WAIT IN THE ROOM I BOUGHT WITH THE MONEY MY DAD GAVE ME

난 기대치를 두 배로 올려 I DOUBLE MY EXPECTATIONS

그래야 상실감이 거대해지니까 SO I CAN DISAPPOINT BADLY

그래야 사람이 더 초라해지니까 SO I CAN FEEL MORE MISERABLE

그래야 내가 정말 간절해지니까 SO I AM MORE DESPERATE

아니 얼마나 더 간절해야 합니까 NO, HOW CAN I LOOK EVEN MORE DESPERATE?

박수 갈채는 누굴 위한 겁니까 WHO IS THE APPLAUSE FOR ?

대학에 가라는 아버지 말을 웃어넘기고 대충 끄덕거린 나는 불효자 되는 겁니까? I LAUGHED AND NODDED AT MY DAD* WHEN HE SAID I SHOULD GO TO UNIVERSITY*, AND DOES THAT MAKE ME A BAD SON? ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

there’s so much in life that was given to him and nearly everything left unsaid. how miserable he was about the competitive lifestyle when he was in nova, how he felt left out at times but pretended he was fine. the truth about how he felt when how he told his friends he didn’t mind that they were moving onto bigger and better projects without him, how his family was living their lives without him, how he was missing everything, how he couldn’t see his girlfriend for months, how he felt like life was still being decided for him and he had no clue what the hell he was doing.

he goes here and there, only says no sometimes, and none of it feels right because he’s not saying a damn thing. underneath everything else, underneath the rules he follows, the routine he keeps to, the predictable patterns he lives by, he let himself be defined by black and white, then wondered why he was unhappy living without color, without doing whatever he could to paint everything himself.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 주변에 대입해 그런진 몰라도 I THINK I MESSED* UP MY OWN LIFE

볼수록 뭣같이 느껴져서 MAYBE BECAUSE I COMPARE MY LIFE WITH THE OTHERS

내가 날 가둬둔 상황이 위안이 돼 BLAMING MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING COMFORTS ME

아직 말해줄 게 많아서 BECAUSE I STILL HAVE A LOT TO SAY

모르겠네 사람들이 피해 보인 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I STARTED TO AVOID* PEOPLE

몰라 내가 이 노래를 불러버린 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I STARTED SINGING THIS SONG

몰라 내가 한심하고 어이 없는 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I AM PATHETIC AND DON’T HAVE NERVE*

몰라 내가 여러 기회들을 날린 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I BLEW MY CHANCES AWAY ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

it could’ve started years ago, when he found out things about his past, when he didn’t get into trc on his first audition, when he was rejected the first time by mijoo, when he fought with seik for the first time about being an idol. every time he didn’t take a call from his brother. every time he let himself go this way or that way during training without any real aim or purpose. he did this to himself. that must be why he ended up in rap unit instead of dance unit in convex. his roots are no longer his and he’s not seen as a dancer. training made him a rapper and he secretly let it make him miserable instead of embracing it like he does now, his voice wrecked with emotion as he starts to yell. the peak of the song and he puts the mic stand behind him, mic in his hand as he shouts.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 모르겠네 사람들이 피해 보인 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I STARTED TO AVOID* PEOPLE

몰라 내가 이 노래를 불러버린 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I STARTED SINGING THIS SONG

몰라 내가 한심하고 어이 없는 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I AM PATHETIC AND DON’T HAVE NERVE*

몰라 내가 여러 기회들을 날린 탓 DON’T KNOW WHY I BLEW MY CHANCES AWAY ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

he’s social. friendly. a moodmaker. he tells himself this again. everything that made him come as far as he did, all the positive traits he showed off and every negative thing he hid. that’s what he considers different this season. he’ll show all of it. he’ll lay it all out so that he can finally be himself too, so he can leave and be a performer again instead of just going through the motions, filling whatever spot he needs to. the stage feels covered in color, his yells were red, his tears were blue, and when he places the mic back on the stand, bowing deeply, he makes sure to take those colors, his favorite colors, with him, so that his heart doesn’t just bleed but heals.

PROFILE / SKILLS / AUDITION / EPISODE 1 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EP. 2: PERFORMANCE / INTERVIEW

#rkmga5 #rkmga5skill #rkcheri #rksakura #rkxkikwang #rkluna #xrkyoona #rkjooyoung #yeets this out wHILE I CAN #i probably have to add more tags later but we'll worry about that then

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