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palajae · 9 months

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hypegirl! | two.

PAIRING ▸ soccer player! niki x afab! reader

GENRE ▸ soccerl! au, roommates!au, romance, fluff, angst, humor

WORD COUNT ▸ 3.2k

SUMMARY ▸ all you want is to join the boys’ soccer team. all niki wants is to get minji’s attention. as roommates, what better than to strike a deal and help each other out? nothing really, except for one glaring issue: your blossoming feelings for said roommate. oh, and the fact that you’re technically supposed to be your brother, kim sunoo.

AKA a hopefully more sfw version of she's the man?

NOTES ▸ based off she’s the man (2006), reader is sunoo's sister and pretends to be her brother sunoo, mentions of porta pottys? —let me know if there’s any typos!

masterlist. | next.

ESTIMATED TIME OF ARRIVAL…

you’re kidding.

not only were team selections in two days, sunoo (the real one) had just texted you that there was a fair tomorrow.

with both the soccer camp and your (his?) music camp in attendance. the soccer players were allowed free entrance as it was their day off, while musicians from the band camp were invited to perform and volunteer amidst all the activity.

“h-hey, niki.” you call out while still texting your brother. “have you heard about some fair tomorrow?”

he sits up. “oh yeah. i was just talking to jay about it. our group is gonna go. it’d be a great chance for you to bond with the other members of the team. you know, brownie points or whatever it’s called.”

you pretend to look excited, “oh yeah, of course!”

your face drains of color.

because there was one problem: sunoo had several activities he volunteered for, no backouts allowed.

and he was currently sick. with a stomach bug or something.

you violently typed back to him telling him to cancel, but the freaking guy already told his band leaders that someone else would be there to fill in for him.

you slap a hand to your forehead. there’s no way you have to fill in for both you and your brother. there’s no way you can be two people tomorrow.

well, it actually turns out that you can. after shoving the fake eyebrows, makeup, and clothes needed to transform appearances into your trusty bag, you make it.

with a bonus, the dress from your mother that sunoo gets a friend to deliver to you.

you meekly follow behind niki’s teammates as they enter the fair, tension high.

you’re already sweating and the sun wasn’t even out yet.

you jump when niki swings an arm around you. face burning, you can only nod when he says, “don’t worry and just have fun. the other guys will warm up to you real fast.”

as kim sunoo, a guy hanging out with niki and his group, you realize you are doomed.

the whole time the boys go on rides, play games and hang out, you’re checking the time. oh shoot, your eyes widen. you’re supposed to be at the dunking station right now.

“crap, i gotta use the restroom. be back soon, sorry guys-!”

you dash off without another word, leaving the team to exchange weird looks.

you fly towards the nearest, nastiest, portable toilet. you’ve never gotten ready that fast in your life. wig off, makeup removed and reapplied, and annoying clothes sent by mother on.

you run to your post, gasping. “hi, i’m here filling in for sunoo?”

without a second of hesitation, you’re dragged into volunteer work.

as soon as things get slow, you make an excuse to use the restroom.

you bust out of the stall with sweat dripping down your face, probably ruining your makeup. coming to a screeching halt, you almost curse. you forgot to take your makeup off.

exhaling, you walk out again. you’re pretty sure you got some weird looks coming out of the stall—appearance entirely different.

“sunoo! there you are.” you catch up to the guys, acting normal as if you weren’t just a different person five minutes ago.

“we were wondering what was taking so long. you okay?” the concern in niki’s eyes makes you glance away.

“i think it was the burrito from yesterday…”

not even thirty minutes later are you checking the time and making an excuse to go again.

“dang, was it really that bad?”

embarrassment fills your body at the thought that all the guys on one of the best soccer teams have to see you like this. were your chances ruined?

“i’m super sorry but i really need to go-“

they watch as you scramble away.

niki frowns, “sunoo’s not normally like this. i wonder if he’s okay.”

and then you are you again. this time, wearing your dumb preppy outfit, handing out dumb fliers for the camp you weren’t even attending. the camp that you tried your hardest to avoid.

you pull down your stiff, short skirt while handing out snacks and water bottles to people walking by. as you turn to grab more snacks, you hear the volunteers next to you begin to whisper.

“i think they’re from the soccer camp. wow, isn’t he really tall?”

“—kinda cute?”

your eyes widen. no way, could they be talking about?

you turn and see, of course, niki and the rest of your group.

all approaching the table you were currently standing out. beginning to freak out, you have second thoughts about running away again. you abruptly turn away, pretending to organize the snacks that needed no organizing.

what if they recognize you? what if-

“hey.”

you come back to your senses, seeing a shy niki—of all people—in front of you.

you avoid eye contact, praying and hoping he doesn’t recognize you. nervously, you run a hand through your hair and give a bottle to him.

“hi.”

when your hand brushes against his, your breath hitches. you can certainly feel his dark orbs bore into yours. but he’s not letting go and neither are you.

“thanks,” he says softly. you nod, trying to keep your gaze on the ground.

remembering where you are, you quickly snatch your hand back. but of course, your nerves get the best of you and cause you to knock into a pile of water bottles in the process.

they all fall and you jump, startled at the noise. niki chuckles as you scramble to set it back up.

of course, niki being niki has to help you set it back up. you can feel the tension in the air and it makes your hands tremble.

as you reach for the last bottle, his hand lands on top of yours again.

eyes widening, you finally make eye contact.

then his eyebrows furrow. shoot.

“have we met before?”

you begin to laugh nervously and clear your throat. you had gotten too used to speaking in a deeper voice to him.

“m-me? i don’t think so.”

if anything, it feels like he stares deeper into your eyes, “you look really familiar. are you sure-?”

you nod frantically. “i’m pretty sure we haven’t met before.”

“oh, okay,” strands of hair fall into his eyes and you resist the urge to fix it, “i’m riki.”

“riki?” you voice aloud, and he laughs again.

“yeah. are you gonna tell me yours or am i just gonna have to call you clumsy girl?”

you say it, albeit hesitantly, but you being the idiot you were since day one, you tell him your full name.

his eyes widen, “no way, are you—“

that’s when you know you messed up.

“—kim sunoo’s sister?”

you let out a painful laugh, “oh, that’s not-“

“that must be why you looked so familiar. you and your brother look really alike!” his reaction was so genuine that you’re actually embarrassed at how you laughed like a middle schooler.

niki suddenly frowns, looking around.

“you know, he was with us a few minutes ago but-“

you really need to get out of here before he finds out, you think as your heart pounds.

“if you’ll excuse me—“

but in your rush, you stumble in those dumb dress shoes the advisor told you to wear—that you were obviously not used to.

you fling your arms out like a toddler trying to ice skate, and obviously, niki has to catch you in his arms like your personal prince charming.

you stare at each other in utter silence and shock.

“hi again?” he whispers and you suppress a smile at his utter adorableness.

“sorry?”

niki’s arms stay wrapped around you until you clear your throat.

“um, you can let go of me now.”

he laughs sheepishly, “yeah. o-of course, my bad.”

for a minute or two while gathering yourselves, brushing off imaginary dust, you’re not sure what to do. the butterflies in your stomach weren’t making it any better.

“are you working here the whole time? cause like, when your shift ends, maybe we could like-?”

your eyes widen. they flick to his friends drilling holes at the two of you, some laughing and obviously hyping niki up behind his back. and then to the other volunteers eyeing you in jealousy or frustration that you weren’t doing your job, you’re not sure.

all while you try your best to avoid jungwon’s squinty gaze. there’s no way… right?

“are you from around here?”

you softly laugh, “no, i’m here just volunteering…”

you don’t like how happy and light you feel while talking to niki, finally able to be with him him as truly yourself.

but there’s that sinking feeling in your stomach that you try to push away. dread. like you’re going to get caught, or maybe you already were.

you’re having such a good time just talking together that you forget about sunoo until niki brings him up again.

“i swear your brother was with us earlier. he said he went to the restroom but i don’t know..”

you feel the light feeling fall flat, the floating you smack the concrete hard. this was reality—you had limited time with niki.

you frown, acting all concerned. you were getting too good at that. “oh really? maybe i should go find and check on him.”

niki starts, “i can go with you—“

“no!” you shout, before laughing hastily.

“it’s okay. i’ll find him and come back. plus, i still have to volunteer. if i don’t, then it’s probably because i have to go back to camp…”

you see his face fall a little as he nods. “yeah, of course.”

biting your lip, you make an impulsive decision.

you kiss him on the cheek.

“i’ll see you sometime?” you smile before dashing off to change.

niki can only stares at you until he loses you in the crowd, touching the place on his cheek that you pressed your soft lips to.

only for you to change and go back out as kim sunoo again.

it’s not hard for you to find the group again, still in the same location. most of the guys were crowded around niki. which you expected, of course, but kim sunoo would never know that since he just came back from the restroom.

“what’s going on?”

all the guys, with matching grins and smirks, immediately disperse, leaving only a flustered niki.

“niki?”

it’s hard to pretend like nothing just happened, seeing niki’s reaction made you realize just how affected you were too.

“n-nothing. we can talk about it later.”

you want to feel a bit hurt that he simply brushes it off, but you can feel how flushed your face is. to the point that you can’t even hold eye contact with niki for more than two seconds.

“alright. you better keep me on that promise. let’s get back to the group.”

you internally chide yourself for being so awkward.

you needed to get a hold of yourself before something went wrong.

you barely slept. the dark under eye bags you sported were evident proof. you were too nervous for team decisions.

all the fears and doubts came back. you weren’t good enough. after all, you had spent most of your life playing soccer as a hobby, never properly recognized or given the chance for more serious training.

even more so, you weren’t even allowed at this camp. what if they found out and kicked you entirely from the camp?

perhaps your constant shuffling in bed caused niki to wake up.

“sunoo. why aren’t you sleeping? tomorrow’s a big day.”

you almost jolt. “sorry, did i wake you?”

“never mind that. just answer the question.”

you gulp at his firm tone. and so you voice your fears, insecurities, and weaknesses to niki. someone and something you would have never expected doing, but you would never regret. or forget.

“sunoo.”

“i know i probably sound dumb, and i’m being a bit irrational. or a lot,” you ramble on.

“sunoo.”

you sigh. “yeah?”

“relax. i think you’ll be more than fine. maybe you couldn’t tell but everyone else could—we could see your immense improvement. and more importantly, your passion and drive. you worked so hard for this. there’s nothing for you to be scared of and you know it. we all do.”

for a minute, you’re stunned. his words hit deeper than you thought. all of the stress and anxiety, both mentally and physically, drops on you all at once.

his next words are what get you.

“i’m proud of you.”

“thank you, riki. that means a lot. like, a lot.”

and whether he heard your quiet sniffles or not, he says nothing.

before you know it, it’s morning. and before you know it, all the guys are lined up in front of the coaches. the already assigned teams get into their groups, having been on the same team for years while attending the camp. while the newbies, including you, stand off to the other side.

you see niki nod at you encouragingly before moving to the other side of the field.

you can feel your heart pounding in your chest. weeks had gone by, and after this day, another week would go by. the only difference would be that you would be on a team. hopefully: niki’s team.

you didn’t even realize when it was your turn. one of the coaches turns to you with his clipboard.

“kim. you’ve improved—immensely.”

you’re not sure if you should take it as a compliment or insult, but you nod anyways.

“that’s why we all decided you’re a good fit for enhypen.”

it doesn’t hit you at first. but as the boys cheer, and you see niki with a bright smile welcoming you, your mouth drops.

you run towards the group, arms wide open to engulf you. in your happiness you run straight into niki’s arms, causing him to let out a big oof!

the other teammates surround you two. not only you but park sunghoon and lee heeseung made it to enhypen.

you couldn’t believe you made it. everyone else believed you were good enough to be on their team.

niki believed.

after they released you, calming down as the coaches finished assigning the rest of the players, you feel someone ruffle your hair.

startled, you look up to see niki with a proud grin. it makes your heart skip a beat. “congrats,” he whispers and you nod bashfully.

“thanks again,” you stare up at him. it was too easy to get lost into his eyes. his dark gaze always seemed to engulf you. now, and especially at the fair.

you realize you may have been staring at each other too long when you hear clapping and cheering. they were done assigning teams.

you both look away while niki coughs and you swallow thickly.

that night, you can feel something different in the air. whether it was your acknowledgment of your (quite) obvious feelings for niki or something he was keeping from you, you weren’t sure.

all you knew was you couldn’t get him off your mind after that day at the fair. you had already thought about him quite often, but niki now entered your dreams, your point of vision much more than you liked.

especially since you were still supposed to be getting him with minji.

but it was so easy to ignore, to prevent. specifically when niki says he has something to tell you as you both get in bed.

“well, you see- i actually- uh,” he fumbles for words and you furrow your brows.

why was he so nervous? what was so important that he had to tell you?

“what is it?” you interrupt him impatiently.

“i-i might’ve met your sister. the other day at, at the fair.”

oh. oh. that’s right. you weren’t supposed to know. since you were “gone” when niki met your sister- when niki met the real you.

and he was telling you right now as if you didn’t know anything. because you aren’t supposed to know anything.

“and, uh, she was nice. really nice. like i was surprised because i didn’t think she would be like that but uh, you know. also she looks a lot like you to the point i almost thought she was you for a sec-“

“niki. what are you trying to say?” you keep your tone nonchalant, but internally you were freaking out.

really, what was he trying to say?

you hear a lot of rustling from his side of the room. “oh-uh, nothing. she’s cool. yeah. so like, i don’t really think about minji that much anymore?”

you must’ve blanked out for a tiny bit because you come back to niki saying

“-you feel me?”

you clear your throat, “uh totally, man.”

all you remember is him mentioning he wasn’t that interested in minji anymore. your eyes bulge as you sit up in bed.

“wait, wait, wait. you’re not into minji anymore? what—why?”

“i dunno, i just find myself thinking about other things..”

there’s no way. you’re mystified. could that mean?

“you’re saying you’re moving on? to me-my sister?”

“huh? wha-“ he laughs awkwardly. “i didn’t say that!”

“no, this is a good thing! that you’re getting over her,” you say a little too eagerly, so you then clear your throat, “i mean, i guess. i just think you deserve someone better than minji.”

niki nods although you can’t see, keeping your thoughts in mind.

the joint conditioning between the soccer and lacrosse players were coming to an end, to your relief (and minji’s disappointment).

“aww,” she pouts during one afternoon break, “i’m gonna miss you a lot, sunoo.”

“yeah, you were a good partner.” you smile weakly. as you leave to get more water, she frowns.

there was no way you weren’t picking up on her signals. she wonders if she could get closer to you by asking your friends. the only person she saw around you the most-?

that’s right, nishimura riki.

you didn't expected to be attacked by niki on the way back to the dorms. he completely forgets how much smaller and lighter you were than he imagined. his hands find their way onto your shoulders forcefully so you’re forced to make eye contact.

your wide eyes meet his eager ones.

“sunoo-! you won’t believe what just happened! i actually can’t believe it, is this even real?!”

“huh.”

he lets go, to your relief. he jumps around, full of energy even though you just had a five hour practice?

“man, i just can’t believe it still. kim minji talked to me- like to me personally!”

he brings a hand to his forehead.

“she knows i exist. she smiled at me.”

you can’t help the disappointment that fills you from bottom to too.

“what? but what about the whole, you know, getting over her plan?”

you don’t even try to hide the dismay in your voice.

niki jumps up and down, “but minji! she finally talked to me!”

you try your best (half heartedly) to not seem upset. but you had gotten your hopes up. maybe, just maybe, niki would be interested in you. but how could he be?

how could he when he didn’t even know who you were?

and how could it be minji when she didn’t even bat her eyes at him before?

a/n ▸ sorry for being mia but here's the next part <33 let the drama begin hehe

MAIN TAGLIST ▸ @precioussoulofmine @kynrki @heesterical @jungwonize @rerequire @nvertheless @duolingofanaccount @hoeshii @love-4-keum @nyanggk @luvhyun3 @dimplewonie @yjjungwon @flwrshee

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@heartbreakrikiversary

unable to tag ▸ @dolphinsswimming @b1ndignity

send an ask/message to be added to the taglist ^^

#enhypenwriters #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #niki x reader #niki x you #niki fluff #niki scenarios #niki imagines #nishimura riki x you #riki x reader

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tojisun · 1 year

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Not me running on liquid courage again. 💀🥂

I mean we all know canon toji is an asshole ❤️, but domestic?!?! It just makes you wanna bash a keyboard 😗 like how can you not! It's so fucking frustrating! He IS beautiful indeed its frustrating!

🥺🥺🤧 ahh this response! I know I said thank you already but like 🥺 thank you. I'm happy you found a healthy outlet. It takes a lot to acknowledge when you're not feeling well AND to doing something positive about it, so virtual hug 🤧 bring it in 🫂!

I wish school systems would actually give a fuck and do a better job preparing students for uni (dont we all). Everyone has a different situation but uni will always be there. I mean they want your money loans, right?? Take all the time you need while you're in uni. This is just my experience, but I feel like this is really only one time where you'll have a chance to work on your adult life before it becomes an expectation.

I just miss being a student for leeway at work. 0h and bc I like learning.

Omg I feel you on a personal level. Taking a 18 hour semester and a +50hr job for WHAT!!! In the end, I changed my major when I had 3 more classes until I graduated, so i graduated in 6 years 🙃.

Truly, please be kind to yourself. We only have 1 fucking day in the week to not think about work. I'm channeling my spirit energy to you. I wish you the best! Please take care and stay safe.

(Sorry for any typos)

omg hey!!! howre u!! sorry it took a while for me to respond ahdjwjs

no no bc that’s exactly me!! canon toji was so much of an asshole that i had a hard time writing him being soft and domestic and kind (ie: my first established fic was toji leaving the reader for mamaguro bc ik that man would choose her in any universe </33) but then i was like fuck canon. i want toji who’s in love w the reader; toji who cares for the reader; toji who’s moved on and healed from mamaguro and loving the reader for them and not as mamaguro’s replacement!!!! (most of my fics tend to follow this au)

i remember when i was drafting one of my first fluff fics (not headcanon or drabble), one of my besties told me, “ur projecting.” like maam, do u think i dont know 😭 but yea i wrote my soft toji whose scarred lips are gentle when they kiss the reader because toji is so pretty, we need him being happy with reader!!!!

thank u so much for the hug!! ive been having severe bad weeks and i needed this <3333 hugs you tight too 😚

and absolutely!! my school did ok in preparing us for post-secondary; college did amazing in helping me transition from high school setting and into post-secondary setting; but fuck. uni is a whole different level. can’t catch a break fr like AHHSHSHH

but yes thank u so much for the advice!!! i can absolutely see what u mean. like rn, even if i have work and back-to-back lectures, i still have the opportunities to ask for time-offs to prepare for my midterms and finals and papers which has helped me greatly! the life experience is helping me lots while giving me some form of coddling and ik this wouldnt really last into (greater) adulthood so that kinda sucks :((

and omg u switching majors is nerve-wracking but amazing at the same time!! ik sm of my friends who just suck up with their majors even if theyre fr struggling so im glad that u were able to pursue something more your style. im sorry it took long for u to grad though but still!!! im so happy for uu!!!

and i will be kind to myself, i promiseee!! ive been doing better these past few days and hoping to have more kind days moving forward!

thank you again for this kind mssge! ur words and kindness truly means a lot to me. take care darling, and have a happy and safe drinking 🥹🫶🏼

#grandmasterslickfox #ask #typing ur user is a whole trip; it’s like a shock every time 😭#long post

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bluejay-mc · 2 years

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✨Da Rules✨

I’m semi to non selective, which means we don’t have to be mutuals to interact! Send your muses at me!

If we are going to interact, I would prefer if you used proper grammar. I don’t mind typos, they happen to the best of us. But if your grammar is inconsistent and hard to understand, there’s a high chance I won’t interact with you. Same goes for non-accessible fonts and formats.

I will always properly tag triggers, as Maddie has gone through some things that others might not feel comfortable seeing mentioned. If you need something tagged, let me know.

This is a drama-free blog. Call outs and/or hate posts will not be present here. If you have a problem with me or someone I interact with, talk to me about it privately and I will make my own decision on how to proceed. Behave like the adults you are, please.

This is a side blog, therefore I will be following from my personal, @potatorobotgirl.

As I said before, I am not mutually exclusive! Feel free to like my starter calls and reply to my open starters, even if we aren’t mutuals!

I do not practice reblog karma! Feel free to reblog memes from me!

Mun and Muse are both of legal age.

Maddie is the most flexible oc I’ve had, which means that she is pretty much fair game regarding ships as well as fandoms. If you want to know more about shipping regarding her, check out her about page, or come ask me directly, wether through my inbox or direct messages!

Current verses for Maddie at the moment are MLQC, Error143, Blooming Panic, The Arcana, and Our Life, which I am currently working on finishing. And fandomless, of course! I plan to update this as I play more otomes and visual novels in the future. And you know what, I’ll throw Ouran in there too, because why the fuck not.

I know this might be confusing for some, so I’m going to say it now. Maddie will have two fcs. If you see me using a different face claim, just know that it is still her.

Alright I think that’s about it! I’ll come update whenever I need to add anything, but in the meantime, send in ‘Main Character Energy’ so I can know you’ve read through this! If you’re not comfortable, feel free to just like this post!

#ooc #rules

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immivoyageconsultant · 7 months

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JOBS IN USA FOR INDIAN FRESHER STUDENTS

The US is a strong economy with a stable political environment, clean surroundings, and high growth which makes the country an attractive destination for job seekers. This makes it one of the most popular destinations for Indian students who aspire to go abroad for further studies and professional growth. However, there are many Indians who find it challenging to get jobs in the USA. But don’t worry we have got this sorted for you!

13 EFFECTIVE WAYS FOR GETTING JOBS IN THE USA

Seeking a job in the USA seems to be a bit difficult for an overseas student as compared to US students. But here are some steps that you can take to make the process easy for you:

1. BEGIN EARLY

Start as early as you can. The jobs in the USA is pretty long so it is advised that every student should begin early as it takes longer to search for a job with an organization that will sponsor people who need work visas.

2. RESEARCH AS MUCH AS YOU CAN

Depending upon your educational qualifications, look for the jobs available for you in newspaper advertisements. Connect with people in your industry on LinkedIn. You can also research online and attend job fairs and talk to job recruiters to find out available job positions.

3. MAKE THE MOST USE OF THE RESOURCES AVAILABLE

Students often neglect the resources that are readily available to them like their college or university’s website listing recent jobs. Don’t commit the same mistake and go through the website frequently to stay updated regarding new job postings.

4. NETWORKING IS THE KEY

It is believed that almost 70% of employment is received by building strong connections for job purposes. So, make good use of the school’s group, and have a word with the Alumni community that has been through the same experience as you which will be helpful in the process.

5. MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

Don’t forget that searching for jobs overseas can sometimes be tiring and disheartening at the same time. You might feel like you are working day in and day out but still, you are receiving no results. But my friends, patience is the key to this problem, so just stay consistent and have a positive approach.

6. RESEARCH ABOUT THE COMPANY

It is important to do proper research on the company where you are applying for the job. The more you know, the more confident you will be during the interview and the more will be your chances of getting the job.

7. HAVE GOOD REFERENCES

While applying for jobs, you must have good references from professors who can vouch for your capabilities as a student and as an employee. This will help employers understand whether they should hire you or not. If possible, try asking professors who have good relationships with companies in their field of interest to give you a reference.

8. RESUME SUBMISSION

Mail your updated resume to the company you are applying for the job. When you’re done sending your resume, always remember to follow up with the company and be fully prepared for the interview by seeking help from a variety of websites.

9. GET AN INTERNSHIP

An internship is an experience that provides you with hands-on knowledge of work culture and helps you build your resume. It also allows you to network with people in your field of interest and shows employers that you have some relevant experience before joining their company as an employee. If possible, apply for internships that are relevant to your career goals.

10. VERIFY YOUR ELIGIBILITY

Review the visa eligibility requirements before applying. Employers may use professional background screening firms or an employment verification service.

11. ADD SKILLS TO RESUME

You should add all your skills and experiences that are relevant to the job description in your resume as well as a cover letter. Also, make sure that your cover letter is written in perfect English without any grammatical mistakes or typos.

12. PRACTICE COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Communication is important no matter where you go, especially when it comes to finding a job in another country where people speak another language and might not understand your accent perfectly well. So, make sure you have good communication skills and speak clearly so that people can understand what you want to say easily.

13. GIVE AS MANY INTERVIEWS AS POSSIBLE

Go for as many interviews as possible, even if they’re not paying well. This will help you practice for other important interviews, give you valuable experience, and build your confidence.

Now that you know the way to get a job in the USA as an Indian fresher student. Let’s see what all job opportunities you can avail:

JOBS IN THE USA FOR INDIAN FRESHERS

The good news is, there are many opportunities for Indians to work in the USA. Let’s see a few of them:

1. ENGINEER

Engineering is one of the highest paying jobs in the USA. Many top companies in the US are always in search of new engineers who are passionate about their job. They are willing to pay them a good salary if a candidate satisfies all their requirements. The average pay for engineers in the USA is around $90, 844 per annum. It is also based on the kind of engineering you opt for.

2. CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE

The responsibility of a customer service representative is to address and solve all customer complaints timely and efficiently. As a customer service representative, your job will be to answer any questions a customer might have regarding products or services offered by your company.

The national average pay for a customer service representative is somewhere around $3, 262 in the United States per month. It may vary depending on your location.

3. CONTENT WRITER

There is always a demand for content writers be it in India or the US. The major responsibility of a content writer is to write content as per a customer’s requirements. One may be writing for a website, social media pages, or for a magazine.

Average pay for content writers in the USA is $46, 535 per annum. The higher you go up in the role, the higher will be your salary.

4. SALES EXECUTIVE

The task of a sales executive is to convince a customer by communicating the benefits of a product or service. They also have to actively search for new sales opportunities through networking and social media. The pay for a sales executive in the US is around $69, 188 yearly.

5. RESEARCH ASSISTANT

The key responsibility of a research assistant is to help their lecturers and researchers in their studies. The average pay for a research assistant is $31,200 whereas experienced workers receive $ 60,000 per year.

6. CATERING ASSISTANT

Catering assistants’ job is to work as waiters in restaurants, cafeterias, or at the front office. The average salary for a catering assistant in the USA is $ 16.84 per hour.

7. LIBRARY ASSISTANT

A library assistant must keep track of all books which are being issued to all the people and fulfil all the responsibilities of a library assistant. The average pay for a library assistant in the United States ranges from $18,000 to $33, 000 a year.

8. TRUCK DRIVING

The United States has high demand when it comes to truck drivers. They pay a hefty amount to truck drivers as they work day and night. The average truck driver salary in USA is around $82, 652.

Final Words

Job search is one of the major concerns for every fresher. There are numerous ways to look for jobs while you are in the US. But it is often difficult to get your first job. Hope this guide will help you land the job of your dreams. If you need further assistance, contact trustworthy immigration consultants in Mohali today.

#studyvisa #immivoyage #studyabroad #workvisa #visa expert mohali #immigrationofficeinmohali

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commanderquinn · 10 months

Text

Good Space Chapter 4: Ya Better Stop

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

—

master list / ao3 chapter link

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warnings: james buchanan barnes being james buchanan barnes (derogatory) (i HATE him sm u dont even know), theres a lab scene but no bad brain talk i promise

song: sinatra has arrived babes!!! it is time for the golden oldies to begin their invasion 🥰

ava gets first pov this time!! probably a repeating thing, all i know rn is i needed it for narrative flow. remember how i warned you way back that i am in No Rush? this chapter is one of those. no flashbacks, only extra flirting and pining 🤌

ALSO if u are a walker fan (look im not judging. but im not agreeing) im really really sorry but im abt to bully the everloving fuck out of him. i cant stand him. i cant. every possible chance to dunk on him that i find, i will take 👾

—

She hasn't seen Bucky in six days.

Ava isn't counting.

But she hasn't seen him in six days.

He's been away on another mission. His first extended one since she took on his case. She was told ahead of time, so she wasn't waiting around for his morning drop-in. JARVIS let her know it would be ongoing and that the sergeant would be unavailable due to the stealth designation. SHIELD has to be the go-between if there's anything that needs to get passed, just like when Paige gets assigned to them.

His mission status is listed right there in his file. The medical reports from the column marked completed aren't blacked out like they were before. She had to ask JARVIS to reset the file she keeps for Tony when her new settings cleared the privacy wall he keeps. That's how far the copy of Bucky's access extends.

SHIELD gave him everything. All of their records on known organizations, detailed reports on all globally known assets like the Winter Soldier, internal investigations of SHIELD itself after the near collapse of the organization, all of it. A nauseating amount of the HYDRA portion centers around Zola, unsurprisingly. She would resurrect the monster in a second if it meant giving Bucky some time alone in a room with him.

After her first night of reading until the tears overwhelmed her, she went to Steve for a debrief of sorts. He confirmed he was the driving force behind SHIELD's full disclosure to Bucky. Natasha was the backup he needed to convince Fury.

Ava managed to talk the captain into coming to her office for lunch with Paige, mainly as an apology for getting in his face. He's assured her repeatedly in the days since that it's the exact kind of moral standing he was looking for with the case. He doesn't begrudge her anger; he understands it entirely.

For days now, Ava's been trying not to let her eyes skim the vitals being submitted intermittently from the sergeant's ongoing mission. It makes the worry she isn't feeling get worse. In hindsight, setting herself as his primary in the tower might not have been such a great idea. She's been trying not to think about it.

All she's thinking about at the tipping point into his seventh day gone is her favorite Tove Lo album.

She spins around her lab on enthusiastic feet, dramatically shouting the bittersweet lyrics of stranger with abandon. Her head bangs to the beat, switching to exaggerated flips during the instrumentals. There's seemingly no end of perks when it comes to mortgaging her soul to her billionaire friend and the government organization he works for. Having a state-of-the-art lab to dance around alone in at midnight is pretty high on the list.

She still hasn't hit her coffee crash of the day, thanks to numerous refills, so she's bouncing by the time the final breakdown of the song hits. Her hair goes wild, her arms thrown up as she jumps to the rhythm. She stops when the music does, giving herself a moment to catch her breath between songs. Her fist is raised high and ready to swing to the beat of bitches as the opening blares, echoing off glass walls that would rattle if they weren't bulletproof.

Ava is elated as she swings her hips and steadies her head to sing. She fucking loves this song. It makes her feel good. Bubbly. More than a little powerful. The lines flow out of her like water, the words familiar and comforting on her tongue.

"Know your own love, I don't fuck with no glove," she proudly shouts one of her favorite lines. Her foot slams down on the floor, and she pivots herself around with the momentum of her hips. "So why complicate it? Let me be— "

In one of the most mortifying moments of her life, Ava spots Sergeant Barnes in his not-uniform, standing in the wide open door of her lab. Shock hits her before common sense does, and her first reaction is to cover her mouth. Not attempt to stop the song. The one now loudly carrying into the—god fucking willing—deserted hallway behind him.

—your guide when you eat my pussy out, Tove Lo's voice continues without her accompaniment.

Bucky was already watching her with glee, but the words make his head come forward with a shocked laugh. He doesn't bother hiding it, or his smile, behind his hand. Not the way she is with her horrified expression.

Ava's hand folds with an awkward jerk of her fingers, her eyes still locked with his. "JARVIS! Pause, please!"

—had one or two, even a few. Yeah, more than you.

"Oh really?" Bucky questions loudly in response to the lyrics, his eyes widening even further. She can barely hear him over the music. The smile he's got aimed at her—

"My apologies, Dr. Ryder," JARVIS cuts in without lowering the volume, "but as per your rules, any ongoing music in the lab—" There's joy sitting in the AI's voice; she can hear it. Pure, sadistic joy.

"Now is the worst time for revenge," Ava tries to reason with JARVIS.

"—cannot be changed without a majority vote. Seeing as you are no longer the majority—"

"JAR!"

"—Sergeant Barnes is now entitled to vote on the matter. Do let me know if you find you require a tiebreaker."

Bucky raises a hand to his chest with nothing but mischief in his eyes. That fucking grin. It's the one she's only seen in photos on Steve's desk. The one powered by a thousand watts that charmed its way through all five boroughs before the draft. It's threatening to knock the breath out of her all over again. "Is it my birthday? Did I get put in cryo on the way back without someone telling me?"

"Bucky Barnes! If you don't cut the shit—" She points an angry finger at him that does nothing to dissuade him.

"These weren't in your playlists. What's this one called? Maybe I haven't gotten to it—"

Huffing with embarrassed indignance, she gives up trying to pull mercy from either of them. She turns on her heel and heads for her desk to shut off the song manually. In one of JARVIS' oh-so-funny jokes, the window minimizes on the first try. He lets her hit the pause button without interruption on the second attempt.

"I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like that," Bucky continues in the silence that follows, coming into the lab with confident strides. He's the most impossibly smug bastard. A goddamn terror, that's what he is. She should testify to help throw his ass in jail, but not because of anything to do with Nazis.

"I locked all the dirty ones before I gave you those playlists; sorry to disappoint," she sasses back to regain some ground. "I didn't want to be responsible for giving a dinosaur a heart attack. I'm not sure who'd come after me first, the paleontologists or the cardiologists."

Bucky leans against the other side of the desk she's definitely not hiding behind. With him closing in like this, her nose is picking up the lingering remnants of burned gunpowder. "Mmm. Well. I'm not feeling any pain in my—You know, come to think of it." He glances down at his mechanical shoulder, his eyes taking a bored journey down the shiny metallic arm. The fact that his gear leaves it exposed— "That's probably not going to be a good way to tell anymore."

Her music library might not kill him, but his dry humor is absolutely going to be the end of her. She has to bite her lip for a long moment to hold back a laugh.

She lets it back out of her teeth. Her cheeks feel like they're on fire. "I'm starting to think you super soldiers have an inclination for ambushing unsuspecting doctors at night."

"It breaks my heart to tell you, it really does, but you got set up for this. And it wasn't even by me. I know. I'm as surprised as you are." His eyes glance down at her outfit while she looks at him in exasperation, the movement fast and deliberate. Mildly tame. More than a few steps up from not taking her bait in the early days of their appointments. "Gotta say, though, I'm enjoying being the linchpin here."

"Set up by who? Steve?" Though the captain had looked appeased after getting to trade shy laughter with Paige, Ava wouldn't be surprised to hear it at all. Given how hard she's been teasing the poor guy lately, she had something like this coming.

"I believe set up is an exaggeration," JARVIS says far too innocently, making Ava's eyes widen in shock. It reignites Bucky's smile.

"JAR!" She lets the feeling of betrayal surface in her voice. "How could you?"

"I have done nothing."

"After all we've been through!"

"I merely informed Sergeant Barnes that you were in the building upon his return. He was the one to decide on an early visit."

"Careful," Bucky warns with a chuckle. "She can go check for herself how much suggestion was involved; she's got log permissions now."

"And I'll be using them," Ava threatens with another stern point of her finger, first at the sergeant, then at the security camera mounted on the ceiling. "Don't you two forget that while you're plotting your next attack."

"I haven't plotted anything. Scout's honor." He raises his flesh hand in oath, then frowns, momentarily looking off to the side. When his eyes come back to hers, there's not an ounce of shame in them. Only trouble. The hand stays up. "Alright. I haven't plotted anything with JARVIS."

Ava crosses her arms over her chest, entirely unimpressed now that the shock is wearing off. Her cheeks are taking their sweet time cooling down. "Did you come here for actual medical care, or are you just here to wreak havoc?"

"Definitely the latter. You could probably talk me into the former; you're pretty good at doing that. Might take some effort to convince me this time. I'm fresh from the field—"

"Shut up and get that gun locker you call an outfit out of my way, Barnes."

"That'll work." Bucky has the nerve to wink at her as he pushes up from her desk. It makes her hide behind her hand while she circles back around. She hears his jacket land on the thick glass while she grabs a medkit, reminding her of the accuracy of her teasing.

"What the hell do you keep in that thing? Chainmail?" He doesn't have to jump to sit on the desk the way she does. It makes Ava want to shove him off of it for a split second. The nerve of this man to be that big. In her lab.

"I can take you on a tour if you want. Don't expect anything too flashy. I keep all the good shit in my end of the world go-bag."

There's a new bullet wound to be found over his collarbone when he gets his shirt off. She'd been expecting it, thanks to the updates in his files. Seeing flesh already scarred over in less than three days is still jarring.

He didn't need to come in for that field injury the other week. She already knew that from a logical, medical standpoint. Looking at the proof with her own eyes feels different, though. It makes the heat threaten to return to her cheeks.

"And how often does that one get brought out?"

"Only a few times a month, don't worry. Things have been pretty calm for a while." For the first time, he turns his head to watch her fingers check the outer edge of his cybernetic shoulder. She's expecting to see unease sitting in his eyes when she looks up. All she finds is peaceful interest.

"You missed me," Ava softly accuses before she can stop herself. It makes her eyes rush back down to focus on her work.

"Of course I did." Damn him; there's no hesitation in his answer. "It's been a week without bagels and lollipops. You wanna guess how many jokes I came up with for that ballsack roaming around your house?"

"His name is Oreo, and you will use it with respect."

"Yes, ma'am. The utmost respect for Oreo the Ba—"

"Watch it." She's already made it to his back, so she only gets a side view of the smirk he gives her in response. "In any case, he spends more time roaming around Paige's apartment than my house."

"She stole your cat?"

"No," she giggles at the seriousness in his voice. "I stay at her place most days of the week. Her dad has an auto shop about fifteen minutes from here, and her apartment is right above it. I live pretty far outside of the city. Even with the way I drive, it's like an eight-hour round trip. That's why I try to leave early on Fridays."

"You only spend three nights a week in your own house?"

"I did say try. Sometimes—alright, most times, it's less than that. Lucky for me, Oreo doesn't mind hanging out with the grease monkeys while I poke at gray matter."

"I can drop you off."

Ava blinks, her hands pausing while scraping a pick along his shoulder blade. "I—what?" Her brows pull in, trying to figure out where he's going with this latest hard turn. "At the shop? Don't worry about it. I like night drives—"

"No, your house. I can cut that round-trip down to a fuckin' blink whenever you want. The cat can come, too."

"I'm sorry, does the serum give you a roadrunner setting I don't know about?"

"God, no. I prefer to take my t—" The first sign of hesitation surfaces in him as he pauses for a split second. It makes her look up at the back of his head, right at the bun his hair is in. "I was talking about a Quinjet."

He's flirting with her, she realizes. And it's not just a throwaway line this time. He's also trying to offer her the fastest carpool on the damn planet.

"Hang on—back up a step for a minute." She watches his shoulders go stiff, and she panics. He thinks he overstepped, her mind throws at her. Fix it. "I'm still trying to get over the fact that someone gave you a license for a car. Now you're telling me someone lets you behind the controls of a jet?"

The tension is gone from his posture before she even finishes bullying him. "They threaten to revoke the driver's license a lot. Steve and I tend to scare the shit out of people when we get on motorcycles. They only complain about how I fly when I bump Sam mid-air."

"You do not try to—"

"Oh, there's no try about it. I never miss my mark, doc. It really pisses him off." The overwhelming pride in his voice makes her laugh, despite the nerve-wracking image in her head.

Ava swats at his right shoulder, trying to avoid a bruise from the metal one. She learned that lesson the hard way. "You hit your friends with jets?"

"Just that one. It's a love tap. He barely even feels anything. He's got a big fancy Stark suit these days; he'll be fine."

"Where's your big fancy Stark suit? Is Tony withholding it until you let him take you to Vegas?"

Bucky snorts loudly. "He pulled that shit with you, too?"

"Mhmm. There's a veteran's center in West Virginia that has a state-of-the-art walk-in clinic because I let that idiot keep me locked in Caesar's Palace for three days. I've never been so hungover in my life." She's pretty sure it was Pepper's suggestion. An effort to get her out of the house when things first turned rocky with Alec.

"He still hasn't managed to rope me into it. That particular string wasn't tied to the suit offer."

"So what made you pass on a shiny new Stark toy?"

"Have you watched those rackety things in action?" Bucky's head shakes with mild disgust. "No thanks. I prefer being able to control when people hear me."

"No shit," Ava mumbles with poorly restrained annoyance.

He chuckles and straightens his head up without her having to ask. She's guessing he memorized her path to his neck on the very first cleaning appointment. "You're distracting; you know that? I can't remember the last time I let someone talk me off my point. Which I'm circling back to now. How far's your house in miles?"

The question catches her off guard enough to make her stop again. "You don't know my address?"

"I—shit, I was going to try to assure you I don't know anything about your house that you haven't told me. But that's not... entirely honest."

"I don't mind you knowing the things in my file," she reminds him gently. "I wouldn't have given it to Steve otherwise."

He shifts on the desk slightly. "I might... know some other stuff about it."

The guarded tone makes her snort. She recognizes it well, having lived through a divorce to a Colonel. Gossip moves the fastest in the barracks and the lunches of wives left behind. "Like maybe who I used to live in it with?"

"Like maybe that. And that you've been busy redecorating."

"Mmm, I don't know that you can classify it as redecorating. I did manage to win a few fights about furniture before the divorce. Some of the house was built to my taste. Now all of it is."

"I'm picturing—" Bucky stops again, and she hears a surprised chuckle. "I used to think your deflection didn't work on me."

"I'm not deflecting!" She giggles along with him, trying to focus on where she's got the top of his spine open to the world. "Maybe you're the one throwing off my train of thought. Have you considered that?"

"Here I was thinking it's because no one's taught you the imperial system, and you were too embarrassed—"

"You do understand that the rest of the world makes fun of you guys for using that, correct?"

"You guys, she says. Are you still clinging to your motherland's meters? That's embarrassing, Ryder. Where's your national pride?"

"Take the moose out of Canada, et cetera, et cetera." Ava swaps out for the hydrating wipes she started stocking because of him to clean up her work. The motion reminds her that it's been a while since her last tattoo. It brings out the itch for a new one. "By the way, after I'm done with this, I'm going to walk you back into my office and show you a list of—"

"Here it comes."

"—allll my outrageously expensive degrees."

"Now, how did I guess?"

"That way, the next time you feel like bullying me—"

"I'm certainly starting to enjoy it."

"—you can remember that I'm actually way smarter than you."

"I don't doubt that for a second, doll."

The—petname makes her smile wide enough to hurt. The way his voice dips as he says it lights her cheeks on fire. Again. "Good. There's hope for you yet."

"So I've been told." He says it so nonchalantly. Usually, she can anticipate the gallow's humor reflex. Usually.

"You break my heart sometimes; you know that?" She moves her fingers over his flesh shoulder in sympathy. The fact that he can't feel anything in the mechanical one makes her irate.

"Sounds like someone had fun reading." With her hands safely off his neck, Bucky turns his head to give her a sideways look. "How many new questions did it bring?"

The look she gives him in return is almost sheepish. "Steve answered most of them; you don't have to worry about it."

"Most." Bucky's eyebrow raises momentarily. "Lay 'em on me. That's why I gave you the clearance."

Ava's trying very hard to respect the choice. She leans forward, her free hand coming up to brace on his other shoulder. There's something contemptible about getting this far into the man's personal space, especially while he's shirtless in an exam. But the idea of not offering up the human contact while he's tearing open a wound that raw—especially while he's shirtless in an exam—makes her sick to her stomach.

Bucky doesn't seem to mind the proximity. Or the touch.

"Okay," she replies gently, trying to avoid putting any rejection in her tone. "I think we should wait until a reasonable hour, though. Next appointment?"

He looks down at his lap. "I think that's a great idea. You look like you need sleep. How about we talk about it when I come to pick you up from your house tomorrow morning?"

Ava stutters around a laugh, backing up from him once again. "I haven't agreed to anything; nice try."

"I didn't say you did. I'm pushing for an answer to a question you deflected; there's a difference."

"I did not defl—why am I trying to argue with a spy."

"I don't know. It'd be a lot easier if you—"

"You're not picking me up for work in a jet, you lunatic. I like driving."

"Is it because it gives you extra time to listen to Lady Wood?" The smug bastard has the nerve to pause, giving her a chance to think of a response to his ambush. She is, unsurprisingly, unsuccessful. "Which one do you like better, phase one or phase two?"

"You said you didn't recognize them!"

"I didn't." His hand comes up over his shoulder, showing her his phone. There's a webpage open detailing Tove Lo's entire discography—her writing credits included. "Google did."

"Someone gave you internet privileges?"

Bucky turns enough to look her in the eyes, unbearably pleased with himself. "It's so helpful."

Finally giving in to the urge to remove him from her desk, Ava shoves at his naked shoulders. Six-and-a-half feet of super serum doesn't move unless it wants to, so he doesn't exactly go anywhere with the force of it. But it does make him laugh and stand back up, so she counts it as a half-win.

"You gonna answer my new question? Or do I have to do the diploma tour first?"

"Who says you'd even get the answer then?" She crosses her arms over her chest and smirks up at him. "I've been through a divorce. You'll have to try a lot harder than that for me to fall for a loophole."

The six-and-a-half feet of super serum actually turns bashful on her. Bucky's eyes take on a bit of guilt, and his grin loses most of the mischief. "Sorry. Professional hazard. I did warn you I'm fresh from the field. It takes a day or two to reset the headspace."

"You're lucky I don't mind it," she offers to try to reassure him. His heart is the last in the world that she would doubt. "I missed you, too, you goddamn terror."

That thousand fucking watt smile hits her at full force. Seeing it on Bucky's face is almost worth giving him the crushing amount of ego it takes to power it. "Show me those degrees you earned so I can get back to hearing about your music."

Ava rolls her eyes, returning to the medkit to clear it from her desk. "I'll text you the list; how about that?"

"You don't have to send me the playlist links again; you can just unlock the dirty ones. I'll find them from there."

"I meant the—" She stops to ball up one of the wrappers from the hydrating wipes and throws it at him. He catches it mid-air before it hits his bare chest. "I meant the degrees, you degenerate."

He scoffs. "Big talk for a woman dancing to pussy eating mu—"

"Is there something else you need?"she stresses with a nervous burst of laughter. He's awful. Horrendous. She missed him so much that it's ridiculous.

On his end, Bucky doesn't miss a beat. "Yeah, my lollipop. You know, I bet I can guess which album you like better. I bet I can guess your favorite song from each one, too."

She points a finger at him without looking up from the medkit. "If you say disco tits, I'm making you sit through post-McCarthy retrospective documentaries just to decondition you."

"I'd be alright with that. But you'll still have to look me in the eye knowing it's in your top three." Even if she can't see him, she can hear him smile when her finger goes back down. "That's what I thought."

"Maybe I'm just out of things to throw at you."

"Blue Lips was the album you had on. Great name, by the way. Let's start with your favorite from that, which we've already established isn't disco tits. If you tell me that it's one of the sad ones, you're gonna break my heart."

"You don't have any favorite sad songs?" She's not... entirely deflecting. The comment just sparked her interest.

"Plenty. But now I know that's not the real answer."

"Jesus," Ava mutters with a huff of laughter. "Remind me to shut my mouth if you ever suspect me of a crime."

"I'm usually the guy people call to break out of prison. Might wanna keep that in mind if this whole doctor thing doesn't work out. That said, it's adorable that you keep trying to pin law-abiding qualities on me. You shouldn't mention the theory around the Avengers; they will laugh you out of the room."

Ava bites her lip again. She's out of tasks to stall with. He caught her as she was technically packing up for the night, and the medkit never takes much to put away. Turning to face him, she puts one hand on her hip and leans on the desk with the other. "Some people would classify it as a sad song."

Bucky folds his arms, his legs adjusting to widen his stance. He wasn't kidding about the sergeant mode. "Your favorite from the second album? What do you classify it as?"

She hesitates. Giving him the first word that comes to mind would give away the song too easily. "I... I don't know. I don't find longing sad, personally." He doesn't immediately reply. Most of the mirth has faded, and he's watching her intently. "What? You're telling me the moody spy disagrees with the sentiment?"

He blinks and takes a deep breath in, shaking his head slightly. She catches sight of a hard swallow that makes her nervous, but then he smirks at her. So, one of his introspective moments, then. "No, I agree with it. Do you want me to wait until you hand over my lollipop to give you the answer?"

"You have not guessed it already."

"You're right; I haven't. I've already figured it out. But we can pretend I didn't for a little while to make you feel better."

Ducking her head to hide a smile, Ava turns to walk into her office. She barely resists the urge to point another accusing finger at him. "You're lucky I think your ego is charming. Otherwise, I'd be tempted to withhold the gift I got you."

"You got me a gift?" The surprise in his voice softens his tone.

"I did, so you should stop bullying me long enough to receive it."

"Yes, ma'am. I'm on my best behavior for the rest of the night. What'd you get me?" He wasn't following behind at first, but he is now, and he's closing in on her fast.

"Well, you said you liked my puns, so—"

"Now that's an outright lie. I've told you they're terrible—"

"Which means you really like them. I wanted to give you one to have whenever you want, wherever you want." Ava stretches over her desk, not bothering to walk all the way around it. It takes some digging in her top drawer to find the little blue box she painted. When she turns back to look at him, his eyes are moving around the office. "Here. Use it in good health."

Bucky looks back and takes the box into his hand, a small smile coming up. It stretches across his entire lower face as he gets it open and spots what's nestled inside. "This is the worst one yet."

"Thank you," she replies proudly. "It's one of my favorites."

His cybernetic hand reaches into the box and clinks against the miniature rectangle when he picks it up. He turns it around to look at the back and snorts. "It's a pin."

"Like I said. You get to put it wherever you want, whenever you want."

"So, you won't fly with me, but you'll fly with me—"

The words pull a startled laugh from her. "Oh my god, did you just try to make a pun?" He doesn't respond, looking down at the pin to smile at it some more. She folds her arms around herself, less in defense and more in comfort. "I didn't say I wouldn't fly with you. I really do like driving. It's soothing."

Bucky nods slowly. He walks over to her desk, getting in close while he puts the box down. Turning the pin over in his hands, he pulls the backing off. He tosses the gigantic tactical vest onto the glass surface, then tucks his hand under the dark leather to line up the tiny, glossy pun.

Right there. On his not-uniform. Just off to one shoulder. Toward the metal arm.

It almost brings tears to her eyes to watch. Her throat tightens up, but she can't bring herself to break the silence by trying to clear it.

"You're going to have to get me replacements when it gets shot off," he jokes quietly. She's pretty sure it's a joke.

"That's fine." Her voice isn't all the way steady. But it's most of the way there. She might have gotten away with playing it off if he wasn't the world's most well-trained assassin. "I put everything on the card Tony gave me for work, anyways. I'm hoping the accountants don't notice. Nobody really hands me a paycheck around here, so."

Bucky tugs his skin-tight undershirt back on. It makes the dork look like he's about to put on a scuba suit. "Have you seen what he buys? I think you're in the clear on that one." He leans down and thumbs at the pin now secured to his vest, making that soft metallic clink rise up again over and over. It sounds like the rhythm of a heartbeat. "Thanks, doll."

—

"Why am I looking at the file of a grunt?"

"He's not a grunt."

"He's a level four."

"He's in charge of away teams; that's not a grunt. Plus, he's got like two medals of honor or something."

"Three. What's that supposed to prove anyways? Every Howlie there ever was had one—me included—and we were a buncha drunk dipshits who couldn't tell our ass from a campfire most nights. SHIELD pulled this kid from the military to run errands. What are we doing here, Steve?"

"I didn't ask you to be here. You showed up. And I am handling a problem before it starts." He sees Steve frown out of the corner of his eye. "Responsibly. With facts, not assumptions."

"What problem? Miserable leadership reviews? He'll filter out on his own—"

"That's the kind of attitude that let HYDRA tarnish Peggy's legacy."

The unwavering tone makes Bucky look up from the file on his tablet long enough to give his friend a sidelong glare. "You're so full of shit."

Steve turns to face him in his signature cranky captain stomp. "You wanna run that by me again, asshole?"

"That might be the reason you're sinking your teeth into him, but that's not why we're here. You wanna fess up now or wait for me to find it myself?"

Steve turns back to the one-way glass in front of them and shifts his weight irritably. His arms flex where they're crossed over his chest. A century-old geezer, and he's pouting. "There's nothing to find. I'm doing my job as a level eight."

Bucky's head falls back, and his eyes roll with exaggeration. "Oh my god, if you ever get held hostage, we are so completely fucked. Every state secret this country has is gonna be up for grabs—"

"Once again, I don't remember asking you to be here."

"No, you asked Nat, which was your first mistake. She's even more suspicious, but she's not going to tell either of us what she's figured out in the last twelve hours. Not until it suits her." He looks back down at his tablet pointedly, his voice heading towards mockery. "So, if you don't mind, I'd like to get caught up before the show starts. I hate being distracted during her warm-up swings."

"Yeah, well. I don't care what Nat knows."

Bucky's laugh starts as a chuckle, building higher until it echoes off the glass. "Oh, maaan. So, it's something she's already made fun of you for, and you're gritting your teeth through it. Was he a dick to that lady at the cafeteria? The one who always gives you an extra dessert without charging you?"

"No. I don't know what he does in his down—" Steve pauses, another frown of reconsideration coming up. "JARVIS, can you forward me—"

"Agent Romanoff has already requested I evaluate the security footage of Agent Walker's public interactions within the tower," the AI responds calmly. "She did not find anything of to be of worthy note."

"Hey there, JARVIS. Long time no—hear. Exactly how many grudges are you focused on tonight?" With his head down at this angle, Bucky can see his new pin reflecting the light from the other room in his peripherals. Right next to his shoulder that just got cleaned by his favorite hippie. God, he's in a good fucking mood at the moment.

"I do not hold grudges. I am merely doing my job as a level JARVIS."

Bucky snorts loudly. Steve looks up at the ceiling in exasperation.

"Your jokes are getting worse," the captain accuses. "It's Banner's fault, isn't it?"

"I believe it is the influence of the tower's other pacifist, Dr. Ryder. Her humor is rather snappy, as Sergeant Barnes can attest."

"Don't let her hear you call it humor," Bucky argues with all the sincerity he can muster. "The last thing that woman needs is justification for her verbal crimes."

"What's that thing on your vest, then?"

The sound of Natasha's voice makes Steve jump. Bucky catches his reaction just in time to stop it.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Steve swears under his breath.

"Language, Rogers," Bucky and Natasha hit him with simultaneously. He's hoping jumping on it with her will distract her from—

"That little strip of tin and enamel sure looks like enabling behavior to me."

Damn. It was a long shot to begin with.

"Ava put something on your vest?" Steve's head is getting in his space now, trying to look around to find what Bucky definitely isn't angling to hide.

"I put it there," Bucky corrects briskly. "To shame her."

"Where is it?"

"Fuck off." He shoves at his best friend's hands as they come for his shoulders, trying to stop the effort to rotate him. He's unsuccessful.

"What is that—is that a pin? Quit struggling, shithead; just let me see. What's it say—oh my god."

"Shut up."

"I can't see it real well. Read it to me," Natasha requests calmly. Bucky can hear her blowing on a cup of coffee while he continues to struggle with his best friend.

"Shut the fuck up—"

"It says I bee leaf in you," Steve answers, his voice going obnoxiously high. The asshole is smiling from ear to ear. There's even moisture starting to build in his eyes. "With a little cartoon bee! And a leaf!"

Bucky knew this was coming. He knew it was coming. He was just hoping it would be during the next mission, not here in the tower. Somewhere he could shoot at both of them to make them shut up without having to go to HR for an incident report. Getting Ava's worst pun yet is, apparently, the only good thing the universe is going to grant him this week.

Alright. That new round of painful tactical analysis when she was bent over her own desk trying to find it for him was pretty nice, too. So was watching her dance like that. She's—distractingly nimble. Not much can kill him these days, but the sight of her without a lab coat on keeps coming pretty damn close.

"Now, isn't that precious?" The savage joy in Natasha's voice makes Bucky want to throw his tablet at her.

"I'm shaming her. Making her look at her crimes."

"Don't you go to her office in fatigues?"

"Are you gonna switch it to those when you go see her?" Steve's voice is still too high. He's close enough for Bucky to swing at, so he does, with a solid hook to his shoulder.

"No. I picked it for my gear. I'm not going to move it."

"You picked the spot?"

"Have you cleaned your ears this month? I'm shaming her—"

"Bucky, that's so—"

"Shut up. "

"—sweet. I can't believe—bee leaf!" The dumbass pauses, stumbling over his own stupid laughter. "She got you a pun pin. Did she paint this?"

"I—" Bucky freezes. He didn't think to ask. She'd been pretty choked up after he picked a spot by his left arm. He wanted to give her room, especially after hounding her about taking her home. "I don't know. She painted the box it came in, though."

"Did you keep it?"

He crosses his arms defensively. "Of course I did. She painted it for me. I'm not fucking rude."

"Can I see it?"

"Absolutely fucking not." He shoves at Steve's shoulders, forcing him back. "What's he hiding, Nat?"

She snorts, still not having moved an inch from the back wall. "What, you think I've finished with you?"

"You tell me. What sounds more fun—"

"I feel like this pin thing is pretty serious," Steve tries to argue.

"Trying to pry another reaction out of me or batting Stevie around—"

"Nat, come on, this is a big change—you agree with me—"

"—while you wait for Wakeman—"

"Walker," Natasha corrects before going for another sip of coffee.

"Poster Boy to finish sweating," Bucky finally gets out.

She takes her time enjoying her drink while they both watch her anxiously. When her eyes open back up, she looks tired but pleased. "You should check his away missions."

"Aww, come on—you're about to go in there and leave me to deal with him alone," Steve complains like the giant baby he is.

"Maybe if you bee leaf in him, he won't ridicule you."

"Shut up," Bucky grumbles, already pulling up Agent Walkman's recent away missions. He'll start there, then branch out. His best friend is being a lot more defensive than usual, so it's something good.

"Actually, check his eval for me. I haven't decided how hot I'm going in. Give me your read."

Without hesitation, Bucky does as she asked, opening up the errand boy's medical records to skim the psych evaluation. He gets why Natasha's asking. Sitting in the headspace of someone who breaks people without laying a finger on them gets loud sometimes. It can get hard to remember where the line is. He's not going to deny her the request for a check-in. Not ever. Not with how often she does it for him.

He shrugs at the end of his check, finding nothing out of the ordinary. "He's never been confronted with failure in his life. I'm assuming that's the play?"

"Mhm."

"Hammer it."

"No reservations?"

Bucky snorts. "What's your reservation? You worried about making a West Point brat cry?"

"Nah. Only wanted a second read of the land." He hears Natasha's back crack in a couple of places as she pushes off the wall, proving she's been there for a while. Little shit probably snuck in behind him when he came in and waited. "Thanks. Have fun, boys."

Steve waits until she shuts the door behind her to offer up a bribe. "I'll drop the pin commentary if you close that file."

"You make this too easy."

"I'm serious. I won't say another word about it."

"Yeah, you'll just wind Sam up to do it for you. Is it because his team got paired with Coulson's? Don't make me read through whole logs to find this. It's just going to make it worse when I do."

"You're going to be disappointed when this turns out to be nothing. I'm just doing my job, Buck."

On the other side of the one-way glass, the door to the interview room Waldorf is already sitting in opens. Natasha walks in, her head down and her eyes skimming over the file she definitely had memorized before she got here. It makes the level four who's been waiting on someone for—Bucky's eyes flick over to the timer kept on the wall to document interviews—two hours and nineteen minutes sit up in his chair.

"Agent Romanoff," Wilbur greets her. Bold choice, trying to start them off on equal footing. "Good to finally—"

"Name?" Natasha immediately knocks his dick in the dirt with.

"Oof," Steve mutters, sounding far too pleased. It raises Bucky's suspicion level another notch.

"Ah—John Walker," he answers, his posture shifting as the professional stick goes rigid in his ass. How so very boring.

Bucky's hoping Natasha provides some fireworks here because otherwise, he wasted the trip. The effort had mainly been about harassing Steve for a few minutes after a long week without having the chance to. He could be up in his room right now, bullshitting himself that he's a good enough man to not beat off to the thought of the good doctor again. For the half-dozenth time. The words she was singing at the top of her lungs sure as shit aren't going to help his efforts to be a gentleman tonight. At all.

"Right." Natasha drops the tablet on the table, letting it impact heavily. She leans over it to type in a few details as if adding him to a list. "Tell me why I'm here, Walker."

The agent hesitates. Strike two. "I'm not sure, to be honest with you. I got the call; I went where I was told."

Of course he did, Bucky thinks bitterly. That's what they taught us.

"How long have you been sitting here?"

"Well—I can't give you exact timing without checking in with JARVIS." He pauses again, no doubt waiting for the AI to take the opportunity to assist. When nothing follows, Watson's face falls, and he tries for a quick recovery. He pulls a recruiter-pamphlet-smile directly from his ass. "I know it's somewhere around the two-hour mark. Sorry, I was catching up on some paperwork. I wasn't paying much attention to the clock—"

"Do you normally have to catch up on paperwork?" She's still typing away while she lays her first trap, still refusing to sit. Lining the guy up on her razor's edge.

"I would hope it's as often as my fellow agents. Knowing my tendency to put it off, it's probably not as—"

"You don't know their work ethic enough to say definitively?"

Steep jump from competency to teamwork. Then there's the silent implication that he fucked up the competency question by going for the casual humor of someone being offered a job. That's a heavy floodlight she's pointing at his ego. Bucky is more than willing to count this as fireworks now.

"If we're talking about people I work with regularly, I absolutely do. But, no, I can't say that I know how I compare to—"

"I didn't ask how you compare. I asked if you know your teammates well enough to do so."

Whitman is trying his damndest to keep that smile on his face. There's frustration building behind it, and Bucky can spot the expectation of a test in his eyes. "In that case. I can only tell you about the people I work with the most often. They tend to be better at submitting their paperwork on time, ma'am."

"Romanoff or Agent Romanoff." Natasha's never given a shit about what title people use for her; Bucky knows that. But she sure does love to use it as a tool. "Tell me about these incident reports I'm looking at."

Some of the color drains from the agent's face. "Sorry, what incident reports are we—"

"The ones right here, from your first, second, and fourth deployment." Natasha looks up, finally making eye contact. "Why the radio silence during the third? Boring post?"

"I…. Those are—Nothing of any kind of significance has ever been on my record—"

"I don't need an official military record. SHIELD keeps the field notes from your former superiors." In a move she had to have pre-planned given how flawlessly it's executed, Natasha unzips the jacket she walked in wearing. She shakes off the heavy leather, showing the civies she's got on under it. No uniform, giving the implication that this late-night interview is out of the blue. And a personal favor. "You made quite a few friends on that ladder."

"A few." The confidence in Walter is wavering. The expectation of this being a lateral kind of test isn't front and center in the man's expression. He's trying to find a rock in quicksand.

"Tell me about them."

Bucky tunes out, looking back down at the tablet in his hands. She'll be hunting for ammunition for a while. People the kid respects, positions he was passed up for, grudges—professional or otherwise—to pick at, et cetra. Most of it she'll already know on her end. All of it she'll use against him.

After a minute of droning from the errand boy, he catches sight of Steve's arms unfolding from his chest, his hands tucking into his pants pockets. "So. A late appointment, huh? Was that Ava's request?"

"Nice try, asshole," Bucky grumbles. "I've been gone a week. I told JARVIS to let her know she could call me in whenever. He let me know she was still in the building." Shrugging, he skips to the next mission in Winston's history. "I went so she knows I'm taking this seriously. She offered. I accepted."

"And then she gave you a bee."

"And then she gave me a bee."

"A very cute bee."

"Shut. Up."

"Okay." He sees Steve rock back and forth from the corner of his eye. It makes him skim the mission details faster. He's gotta find the lead before— "Is it because she's divorced?"

"What?" He looks over at Steve in genuine shock. "Why the hell would that matter?"

"Maybe because of who she used to be married to."

"You think I'm intimidated?" Bucky scoffs, insulted. He could rise to that level of expectation—if he wanted to. And there's not a shot in hell that this Alec prick is any kind of a threat.

"By the idea of going out with a civilian woman who just left a career soldier?" The way Steve phrases it makes him freeze in place. "Yeah, Buck, I think that'd be a little intimidating."

Bucky, somewhat slowly, looks back at his tablet. That—it hadn't occurred to him. That particular angle. About Ava and—other expectations she might have when it comes to him.

You'll have to try a lot harder than that for me to fall for a loophole.

Bucky has a lot of self-awareness; he knows how hard he is to deal with. He tried backing off whenever it felt as if he was going too far in her office. She had picked up the other end of the bait every time, and everything seemed good. The Totalitarian jokes she throws at him are only jokes; she wouldn't give him the time of day if they weren't.

But it's not hard to figure out that they're rooted somewhere deep. Somewhere real. She's big on boundaries. She's gravely serious about consent. Those aren't the kind of qualities people hold that high without motivation. Personal motivation.

Giving her full access was the right call. Bucky's wholeheartedly convinced of it on multiple fronts.

"It's not like that," he assures, keeping his voice serious. "There's no plan here. No intentions, either. She puts up with me. I'm trying not to make that a miserable experience for her."

"Sure."

"Fuck off."

"Don't you mean buzz off?" There's no hesitation in Bucky's movements as he swings the tablet off to the side to nail his best friend in the arm with. "Oww!"

"You had it coming. Stop laughing before the grunt hears you, stupid."

The chuckles coming from Steve taper off until it's just snickering. "I think it's sweet."

"So you've said." Bucky tries to work up the nerve for his next question. It takes a few minutes of watching Natasha play with her food. "How pissed was he?"

The silence that followed Steve's snickering gets broken by his snort. "Well, his head didn't actually explode, but, you know, pretty damn pissed."

"Sorry."

"You don't have to be."

"It took a lot for you to—"

"Yes. It did. It took more than even you know, and Nat's made sure you'll never find out exactly how much." Steve looks over and doesn't say anything. Not until Bucky has the nads to meet his gaze. "And the whole point of it was to put it in your hands. That comes with the expectation that you'll use it as you see fit. It's not your problem that Fury likes to selectively forget he agreed to that."

"That doesn't mean it should have to be yours. I'm the one that handed it off to a civilian without asking for—"

"You shouldn't have to ask. That was the whole point." Bucky looks away, but Steve doesn't relent. "We wouldn't have put in the effort if we weren't willing to back it up over time."

"I can sit in for a meeting this time."

"I'm not going to tell you no." Of course he won't. Steve never does. Not when it's something like this. "But I am going to remind you that the two of you have conflicting buttons. More importantly, you don't need to."

"I know. I want to. It's not about—This isn't a challenge for me." He pauses, trying to decide on a way to phrase it. "I'm not looking to win a fight. I want to explain."

"Alright. Spending a week in the doghouse without complaint probably won you some leniency." There's pride sitting in Steve's voice.

It almost makes Bucky avoid bringing up the other thing eating him alive. He could handle it himself behind the scenes. He could even tell Ava to keep it to herself when he eventually fills her in.

But honesty is a two-way street.

"I got a question I gotta ask you," he starts off gently. It's the worst way—Steve's going to pick up on something being wrong and get worried. But Bucky can't think of an alternative.

"Shoot." Yeah. Yeah, there's the nerves surfacing in his voice.

"When you taught her the code—" His best friend's posture stiffens in his peripherals. It makes him switch to treating this like a bandage to rip off. "What language did you teach it to her in?"

Steve's head turns at a speed that looks dizzying, even for their equilibrium. "That only matters if she says it in the right—you're kidding. What the hell—what were you two even talking about that—"

"It wasn't like that," Bucky stresses, hearing the suspicion creeping in. "We were talking about music. She was telling me she doesn't find it sad."

"Jesus," Steve whispers. He follows it up with about a dozen other curses under his breath. "I'm sorry, Buck, I—"

"I know. I'm not looking to blame you. It's happened with other people before; you know that. And it's not like I suspect her of anything. I just—"

"Yeah, no, checking makes complete sense. No one would fault you for that. Did you talk to her about it yet?"

"I'm not planning on talking to her about any of it at the moment."

"Bucky. You can't just—she has to know, she's made that clear—I should have told her from the start—"

"I'm not saying I'm keeping her in the dark forever. I'm saying I'm not telling her right now."

Steve goes quiet again, and Bucky can practically hear the cogs turning in his brain. "I can talk to her about it."

"No."

"It's not like she'd have an issue with pretending it didn't happen—"

"I don't want to pretend it didn't happen." The words come out a lot more forceful than he intended.

"Okay." Steve's not being condescending. There's no dismissal in his tone. He reached a boundary Bucky's made and didn't take offense to it.

A year ago, Bucky wouldn't have been able to handle so much as bringing something like this up. He would have internalized every last part of it. Three years ago, Steve would have questioned him on a hard line like this being drawn. And then gone and done everything without asking, leaving Bucky to feel like an infant.

Not even a few weeks ago, Bucky would have bitten the head off of a level four analyst just because he can't get any decent sleep.

"I felt human again for a minute," he admits quietly. He curls his head in like a fucking coward, using his hair as a heavy curtain to block the view of his best friend. "She said it, and I got to come back down from it, and she didn't know. I'll tell her. I just want to wait until she's had long enough to forget she said it."

He doesn't want to give up how good it felt to flirt with Ava. To feel that warmth and hear that soothing melody. To sit in it all for a minute and let himself live. To be a bastard chasing after a girl way out of his league the way he used to, even if he knows it won't ever go anywhere. To forget, for just a handful of minutes, that he was ever made into a monster.

A couple more weeks of bothering her in the mornings. That'll be enough time for her to forget what words she used tonight. Then he'll have Steve give her the code in every language she speaks.

"That sounds like a good plan." The words don't sound like bullshit with the way Steve's voice stays rock fucking solid in its support. "You wanna... maybe talk about what led to it—"

Bucky straightens his head back up with a long inhale, moving his hair out of the way once again. "I don't know, Steve. Do you want me to try to go to bed for the next three hours, or do you want me to keep reading mission logs?"

"...I hope you get some good rest."

"That's what I thought."

"I'll see you in the morning. We've got that weapons brief—"

"I know."

"—so don't forget—yeah, okay, yup. You already know."

Locking his tablet and heading for the door, Bucky rolls his eyes. "When she comes in for a refill, remind her to run the mom test."

"Will do. Goodnight, Buck."

"Goodnight."

He's almost tempted to check in with JARVIS about Ava. Then he remembers that he doesn't have to do that.

Stepping onto the only elevator leading to the Avengers floor, he pulls his phone from his back pocket and opens their texts. He smiles down at the last picture of Ava's dumbass cat that she graced him with before he got sent out on punishment. There's a miniature, painted straw hat sitting on his bald little head.

Did the moose make it across the road okay? he types out. It takes three tries to force himself to hit send.

Bucky slides his phone back into his pocket. This is the latest he's ever sent her a message. God willing, she's got her ringer off. There's no way she's not in bed by now; it's nearly 0200. If he finds out this woke her up, he'll feel awful. He didn't exactly say he was going to be checking up on her.

Now he's worried he shouldn't have. Back in the day, it would have been second nature to make a quick call once he got back to his own place. He can't tell if that's the polite thing to do in this case or if it's too—

Bucky's phone vibrates against his left ass cheek not even thirty seconds after he put it there. He's got it back in his hand, held up to his face, in less than two.

see! you love my puns. and i am not currently roadkill! bonus points, reads her reply text.

He grins down at his phone like a fucking idiot. When Natasha eventually finds the security footage, and she will, he's not even going to be mad about being bullied for it.

Before he can type a reply, she hits him with another. dont g-men have bedtimes?

Yes, ma'am. The government just doesn't have the budget to implement them, he sends back.

This texting thing is a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, he gets to talk to her without having to work up the nerve to call her. On the other, he can't see how much that made her smile.

Not having the face-to-face usually doesn't bother Bucky. Then again, he usually doesn't text outside of work, so that's probably got something to do with it.

She sends back a laughing emoji rapid fire, then those three little dots dance for a minute while she goes back to typing. are you even allowed to make those kinds of jokes? doesnt SHIELD pay your phone bill?

Probably. I haven't bothered asking.

about the permission or the bill?

Both.

He gets another laughing emoji. go to bed, idiot. you looked like you were ready to fall over in my office. believe it or not, your brain needs this funny thing called SLEEP.

Sleep well, doll. Bucky's finger hovers over the send button, but he doesn't hit it.

He used the word in her office. It slipped out on accident the first time. The second time had been a check-in that she didn't seem to scorn. That might have been because she was choked up. Having to read it now makes the word feel heavier. Too heavy.

He hits the backspace to change it out for doc instead at the last minute. The send button is a lot easier to hit after that. He's banking on the fact that the choice didn't take long to make. Maybe, just maybe, she didn't notice.

you too, she signs off with.

Bucky doesn't move as the elevator doors open in front of him. He keeps his eyes locked on his phone. Focused right on the little heart emoji she put after the last word.

A slow, shy smile starts to creep up on him. He steps off the elevator, walking distractedly to his room to try to catch a REM cycle or two. It's still there on his face as he strips out of his gear, thinking about the doctor. It doesn't fade, even as he tosses his comforter, blanket, and lone pillow onto the floor.

He manages to be a gentleman that night. Mainly because he falls asleep listening to her playlist titled chill sketching before his hand can find any trouble.

—

u wanna know why the howlies couldnt tell their ass from a campfire most nights? its bc their asses fell INTO the campfire most nights. god i fucking love those idiots. i REALLY wanna do some howlies fics at some point (and i kinda want it to be a biker!au if im honest. i could undo the trauma SoA put me through by making comfort fics abt big biker man and his lil doc 🥺)

anyways there IS a reason i go so hard on discount cap, its not just bc he smells and i hate him. i have a hc for bucky’s opinion on dudes like him thatll get brought up at some point, youll see. it got pretty heavily hinted at in this chapter

also, other quick hc, if natasha romanoff were to be given the big boy serum and a lil sippy sip from the fountain of youth, the galaxy would be safe literally forever. we wouldnt need any more super heroes, everyone could retire. no one can convince me otherwise 😤

im (kind of) up and running on tumblr!! same handle, i reserved it when i got this act. ignore how bare bones the chapter posts are, ill make fancy formatting and graphics later. the initial wave was a panic back up when i realized im not saving these anywhere after posting and ao3 shut down for a few days lmao

i WILL put in a real effort to go track down blogs to follow and add other stuff at some point, pinky promise!! if you wanna find me for mutual fandom screaming, thats where ill be babes 💖🥰 im 98% sure i remembered to set up all the anon stuff properly for anyone thats Shy ❤️ you are more than welcome to submit requests 💞 ill make a pinned post abt it at some point

#chapter update

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thesecretattic · 10 months

Text

DEATH NOTE

Kisiki do logo ki laash pe se apni “wannabe” Shaadi baraat nikaale simply cuz everyone else was marrying in Cov times. Shameless people Harsh and his FAKE lugaai she should read this and see how serious it is especially about Aditya Singh Rajput and his death and my death. More SHOCKING things about Harsh and what he said or did back then he turned the tables after that. Please read it entirely it’s VERY IMPORTANT.

“I was pretty too at 20-21 I was looking fair and cute without makeup in broad daylight BUT he ruined me”

I was struggling to breathe n I was breathing in bits I can’t walk even upto the bathroom my pressure was falling tremendously and my vision had turned WHITE and blurry I couldn’t see anything in the bathroom and I cud feel numb and lifeless and all the blood levels being sucked out of my brain I was cold inside it was chilly ice cold in my head I’m somehow writing this

Its VERY IMPORTANT pls read it I had to jot it down again ignore typos or lack of punctuation marks. Relying on autocorrect.

You all know that he Harsh Jayesh Rajput came first to me and the story has been going on since the past 8-10 years! All MY YOUTH I’m dyin-g a lip virgin or virgin today I was treated like an untouchable now no one will accept me in this age

NEXT you’ve seen the SHOCKING OBVIOUS signs along with all the markings in my previous posts (at least from June 2023 I’ve been sharing them since years now and there are more than 1000s of coincidences or signs since the past 10 years there’s not been a single day I haven’t received them) they all revolve around me and Harsh

Yet inspite of that since he himself came AND THEN STARTED ACTING ODD like OCD for no reason he wud like my pics on some dating app they had a Snapchat like feature he was already in my list and you could upload 24 hr selfies or posts he would religiously like them BUT not utter a single word, I have all the screenshots in my old laptop, he had also ASKED for my bb pin but he was not adding either and then he was talking to my fake ID which he knew was me he even taunted and left innuendos he was asking if I was single and sending kiss emojis even on day one he was sounding very happy but he was blocking the REAL ID and he was going on being ambivalent and bipolar he would come and then block.

I didn’t want to say all that, I can’t share much in detail my hands and feet are ice cold and I’ve cried a lot and I have fever too and my health condition was already critical since the past 3 days I’ve been struggling and hampering to breathe I can’t even walk up to the bathroom I told u what happened. That’s why I’ve been sleeping for hours throughout the day I’ve been up since 12 am today the whole night crying due to my mother’s torture and this issue.

IN 2019 I sent those gifts to make up for the book and because his fans would not send anything, Taher and Aneri wud always flaunt, I had stopped watching TV in 2015 itself and I’ve never heard his voice in real life, so I was NOT some fan he came first he was interested he was asking for the bb pin je was liking the photos he was sending kiss emojis FIRST and he was asking if I was single, he had used WORDS LIKE “DEAR AND DARLING” I still remember cuz I’m not used to this, someone using such terms of endearments for me, no one talks to me leave alone nicely. I know it’s cheesy but I have mixed feelings about it cuz it was him I thought it was safe.

I SENT those gifts to makeup for the book even thought I had not divulged anything about him in the book I have high fever n low pressure + shallow breathing I might just die after writing this post pls read I sent them across hoping I’ll find someone ELSE cuz he just went away without giving me a chance I have mentioned how he was luring me with the kisses and those other things go READ them had to say that, but then he SHOWED everyone that it was one sided and he humiliated me publicly in front of the world,

Since he was doing that I thought I’ll find someone else eventually and the gifts were just to makeup for the book which had nothing about him I wanted to make him happy cuz i loved him but I could only do it materialistically because he hated me now (due to unknown reasons) I was like he can take those things and be happy and I can love him from far or send him that love and I’ll find someone else but he took that opportunity again to humiliate me, he didn’t thank I had made those cards and everything on my own and wrapped those 14 gifts on an EMPTY stomach but he didn’t thank nor did he return them cuz of that OCD of direct contact which grew after 2015 even more, back then he allowed himself to talk to the fake ID or just like the pics and he was then using his engaged friend’s ID that too on the dating app HE CONNECTED with me there and added me on Instagram I had shared about it on my blog the article was - Biggest Revelation or something it has a HUGE shocking sign too. He had even read that (Harsh Jayesh Rajput) anyway his OCD grew so much that he became insensitive (go through all my posts from 2020 pandemic year IT WAS ON A VERY HEINOUS LEVEL) I’m dy-ing today after 8 years of total (bed) confinement because of him, and he neither thanked nor returned the gifts to avoid any contact (OCD) and he was sitting there making fun or god knows what. Like I said I was giving them to makeup for the book and I had already thought I’ll find someone else but He even took that opportunity to reject and humiliate me in front of my cruel mother and his friends and family and eventually on internet, he himself had sent kisses and called me all sorts of things (terms of endearment) he was religiously liking the pics he was vying for that bb pin and from behind he was showing everyone that I was chasing him.

The coincidences and signs continued and next he got worse during the pandemic year AFTER which I started writing about him to seek help or to wake him up.

HE received my messages on iMessage sat there SEEING OUR SIGNS AND MARKINGS until He changed them and now I see Aneri’s numbers which torture me there’s always 53 & 23 together (5 is him and 2 is me) it started as our marriage signs you’ll understand when you’ll read my previous posts but now I see 63 somewhere lurking around along with her birthdate. I’m done. He can have a threes-ome like he said (it was his fantasy) to that fake acc he can have that with that now porno Nida and Aneri she was wearing straps and what not on her thighs that Nida no pants just like Harsh if he’s so obsessed he can do that. I want a REAL love story and actual passion if at all not such FAKE ORGAS-MS it’s all forced when you force yourself too… otherwise you don’t need handcuffs or garters. It’s in fact tacky, real lovers just need each other after all that’s what it’s all about you don’t need ENTICEMENTS.

If they had what was the most important to me he meant the entire world I loved style even when he was poor and he would repeat clothes I loved him for the same attire even the 50th time, my name happened to be Zara for a reason like the brand I was born like that my grandmother named me she wasn’t even aware of the brand. I wud dress up like that since I was a toddler. But those cheap girls had his LEATHER JACKET and Ear Stud so now I don’t want him. I’m not a beggar enough of this! Or else I’ll change my gender. I’ve cried enough.

They had him at his best even when I loved him at his worst.

This is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

I LOVED HIM A LOT I NEVER STALKED HIM AFTER 2016 Feb n I had stopped watching tv in 2015 itself whatever I came across was accidentally through other people, anyway I HATED myself and I was feeling very hopeless but then I remembered that I loved him even when he was looking dark in his Photos back then in 2014-15 in fact that’s why I had chosen him because I wud stay away from people who were fair and white or rich. So I chose him cuz I thought he was like me (fair-golden-dark mixed) or darker I don’t exactly fall into that dusky category but I’m not white. I’m losing breath I can’t write I’m numb I’m dy-ing I’ll copy paste rest everything from an old post cuz I’ll be reiterating it anyway. BUT FIRST I have to write this down somehow - I told myself I hate how I am and I know no will ever accept me I’m an “untouchable virgin” I got a reality check on 5th mar regarding the extent to which anyone can hate and all the INSENSITIVITY he left me to die and so did others I was open to someone “new” I had decided to find another person I thought someone else will come along even while sending those gifts I WAS ENTIRELY RELIANT on somebody else (who just wasn’t there) because Harsh was not there for me either, I kept getting abused ruthlessly I was beaten up a day PRIOR to the gifts I couldn’t sleep on one side my neck and head were swollen and even my fingers and hands with purple marks in this fibromyalgia I was beaten to death and even told I should die, I already had fever and infection also back then but I got only beatings no rest was up all night no medicine and no food had to ear my antibiotics on empty stomach then 5th Mar happened and I realised how much I was HATED.

My CONVICTIONS grew after that and I realised why THERE WAS NO ONE he had not given me any chance either although he had come first sent kiss emojis religiously liked several pics throughout the month, asked if I was single asked for the bb pin somehow used his friend to fetch my Instagram acc and also called me Dear and Darling etc. etc. But inspite of that and tons of signs he hated me and I realised he probably had superficial shallow reasons to do that and so did everyone else SO I DECIDED FIGHT BACK cuz I knew I would die alone in this abusive house if I won’t.

I was pretty too at 20-21 I was looking fair and cute without makeup in broad daylight BUT he ruined me

I remembered that all these factors which make me feel hopeless now after he has spoilt my looks were the same things I OVERLOOKED he was 7 years older than me and I was 20 back so it’s not like he didn’t have bad days, I said I hate myself but I loved him even when I saw his feet in the pic they were looking Dark Brown Sindbad promotional event when i last stalked in 2016 Feb I still loved him and told myself you can’t even imagine hating someone’s tired feet white or black, especially him I loved him blindly and dearly. And in other pics he was looking dark extremely dark so I thought he looked like that naturally otherwise I wud distance myself from fair or rich ppl NEVER even now, is a NO so I didn’t hate him in fact I loved him but I’m hopeless, then I was thinking about weight gain due to my sedentary life HE GOT ME BED RIDDEN otherwise I was 30 kgs due to stress in 2019, but I had a muscular physique (naturally) so I was broader and taller than Aneri not that petite otherwise she will read this and tell everyone I was rejectable she got a love bite I’m an untouchable virgin till now and she will tell everyone I deserved it, no I was broader and slightly taller too due to my bone structure (long hands and legs) they would tell me I should become a model when I was in my teens

He ruined that also, but I saw a sign which reminded me of something related to him so it wasn’t just his dark feet or complexion I had also seen his double chin in 2014-15 and puffy face and pimples too and I still loved him dearly. And when I was talking about “tond” Hindi word which another girl had mentioned cuz she was conscious about it I remembered THAT IN HIS BIRTHDAY pic he had that also! When I last saw in 2016 and I still loved and respected him inspite of that TOND I would’ve never left him and been around forever and ever I loved him that much

and I was punished for it.

He was poor too I still loved him. I was okay with 1% of looks and 99% ugliness or whatever poor financial status poor grammar etc. the complexion the tond the double chin the repeat clothes everything I had to share that cuz I want other girls to understand that you are NOT a loser if you feel conscious about the same things. I liked him irrespective of that and I didn’t want anyone else but him. Unfortunately he wasn’t like that and he turned out completely different and wrong I told God if he would’ve sent someone who was actually like that (full of flaws) he wouldn’t have done this. He is very proud of himself. I cried a lot even while arguing with God.

I was okay with 1% looks like I said but I didn’t want someone who was scary, boring, dull, random or creepy. I am from Gen Z he’s a millennial his parents are boomers mine are Gen X so obvs I wanted someone who would speak my language and keep up with my pace, someone of my caliber who would fathom what I’m saying but I was FORCED to talk to illiterate ppl who were adding me as “secret admirers” random creepy salacious pervs from Bhopal and all they would not understand a single word in English totally incoherent and uneducated ppl all uncouth from some village area, they weee creepy ugly not even those 1% looks scary NO STYLE even if he repeating his clothes it was different this man was nowhere like him I’m from a metropolitan city from the newer generation NO ONE WILL ACCEPT OR TOLERATE THIS NONSENSE! That perv ewww his eyes were demonic as if he wud wear Kajal (kohl) and he was very lecherous and all yucks full por-nhead I didn’t deserve that! He couldn’t even say “What’s up?” No youthfulness I wanted someone of my level like Harsh but he was chasing ppl out of his league.

And here’s the BIGGEST thing which haunts me and makes me cry day and night, whenever he wud block I wud black out and get a hammering headache and my heart wud stop too after that I got that destabilising “cluster headache” issue and fibromyalgia due to constant torture he kept blocking and liking sporadically FOR NO REASON but he was trying to lure and humiliate me and show me - this is the main part due to which I can’t live and I cry, he was trying to prove that I’m my worst nightmare I’m a “creep” like that Bhopali perv and I deserve to get married or rapd by one. It’s the same thing if girls aren’t attracted (moreover he’s illiterate n pervy and he doesn’t even understand any English or anything to talk in common he won’t understand my ideas he’s to salacious anyway) ITS NOT “double standards you misogynists” there’s a scientific réason which I HAD ALREADY DEFIED for his wrinkles, his advanced age, his double chin, his complexion which was there in the photos his Tond (that Hindi word) his horrible haircut, and all those erroneous pics which made me believe he was ugly in real life and natural lighting only 1% looks where 0.5% was style and personality, AND I STILL LOVED HIM

I defied that scientific logic for him cuz I loved him.

I can’t get rapd by someone who doesn’t even have that 1 or 0.5% you want to read that tond part again? If we aren’t attracted then we aroused and then we are not lubricated either and then it’s forced entry which is r-ape. Lubricators don’t work so many girls have complained and why shud I?

I was molested when I was in KG as a toddler that’s how our life is in India and I shud let someone like that creep touch me? Forget lubrication!

He showed me that I’m my worst nightmare and I deserve that.

That Bhopali and another Bihari guy TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HIM (didn’t want to get communal not all Biharis are such but ppl are sick of each other in their own culture even in our religion I don’t want to get married to Dadi-walas bearded men cuz they keep 2-3 wives illegally another girl was complaining about it that too in Hijab don’t underestimate Muslim girls) so they took advantage of that and created an ID called Harsh last year to write something in their horrible grammar/English and then as a backup plan block me to torture me more as Harsh this time he wasn’t him it was a fake ID but he blocked too and made Preet block me too after I sent those LINKS with signs cuz he hates them and he doesn’t want to see them I sent them again from my laptop’s iMessage. He turned a blind until he managed to get Aneri’s signs too (the DEVIL shows her numbers) I had seen Zara Rajput NOT just numbers like her’s and I had also seen several ZH here and there and even SHARED all those shocking screenshots all across social media, with all the relevant markings and stuff. Our names had again come up with 53-23 marriage signs and all this has happened many times before, even our birthdates but he will not even look at them

I wanted a platonic relationship but then some fortune telling site LITERALLY SHOWED ME this - I wasn’t expecting that it had my words which I never VOICED

I would say in my head that I don’t want to ruin anyone’s life I don’t like “INJUSTICE” even though scientifically it pains girls not men if they aren’t attracted to anyone, but I opted to be the nail instead of the hammer cuz I don’t want to be my worst nightmare like he showed, so that was however the Injustice part I like fairness and I didn’t want injustice for anymore so I came up with platonic which meant love and care but no intimacy, but I knew that the other person might not care if he’s not ready to (fully) accept me in a complete relationship like I overlooked Harsh and all those things if it’s not like that then I can’t expect much concern either.

The site said “Going through the hardest things ever, unimaginable struggles and pain but Giving Blind JUSTICE to others and ignoring the natural and immediate need for care, love and intimacy.” It’s as they read my platonic idea or mind :/

I jotted it down so that I can be more comfortable in a platonic relationship but I didn’t want to budge from that. Or else I wanted you o be just house mates. I was cute and fair once and his pics too had only that 1% looks and I loved him but things changed and he left me behind. And even ruined me.

He is making me feel like I’m my worst nightmare you know how or why you’ve read enough I can’t keep typing you know he’s still DOING THAT he knows about the ring too and those signs and the Devil’s involvement BE KEPT TURNING A BLIND EYE until his Friend DIED and how shameless he’s still doing that.

Fetch Diana’s post she was afraid of car accidents and the devil made sure her car would run into the 13th pillar and there were more numbers which I can’t even take here which I saw in Harsh’s case cuz he was HELPING THE DEVIL in surfacing me my worst fears and nightmares, inspite of OUR MARRIAGE signs he got married and it still kills le I wasn’t ready to stalk him so the Devil Killed Aditya Singh Rajput like Diana to show me Harsh’s ring. He knew my fear of rings EVEN IN INDIA where it’s highly uncommon, they exchange rings there but I was afraid of spotting a gold ring on his ring finger which I eventually saw at the funeral.

He was insensitive to me and he left me to did but that new fake wife had him wrapped around her finger in no time he was putting reels with Jiya hardly in Oct last year I saw due to an accidental click on a fanclub ID and within a few months that new woman GOT HIM LAID that too forever. He didn’t throw the ring. I’m dyi-ng after this I just wanted to share this whole culminated note to describe everything for one last time but his love for her and insensitivity towards me is killing me that too for no reason - Zara Sauleh Bye you’ll never see more signs again I’m dy-ing forever. He was the worst man I had ever met after my mother I’m dyin-g that virgin and it’s okay ur fake wife must be used to this, she’s that creep you were showing me she’s SHAMELESS and opportunistic that that Bhopali to take advantage and come and sleep with someone else’s LOVE I’m not you’ve read enough.

Zara Sauleh

Additional notes copy pasted after which I’ll die a silent death:

Aneri was white like Mohsin and Aaditya Kapadia and Srman Harsh was never that fair, Aaditya however is married a girl who’s dusky and darker than me, and Srman too was seen with the darkest girl possible way more darker than me… it was some random sketchy girl though anyway Harsh is the only one chasing someone whiter. And HE TURNED OUT TO BE MY WORST NIGHTMARE

For girls it’s not easy to look good, we lose a lot of haemoglobin count during periods, speaking of pms this is why it’s easier for men to look better - we get PMS symptoms for almost 20 days they start before our period at times even 11-12 days prior and last all the way for another 10 days and then Ovulation, during both the times we are in pain even during the latter and our skin breaks out, our hair is frizzier, we get bloating not only in the stomach but also in the face, fingers and legs… so if we’ll match our looks we are going to end up with someone who’s dumb average minded and it’s riskier because as “men” they aren’t safe they don’t have noble intentions, these same people who wouldn’t have anything to talk about will only think of fcking and it hurts girls not men if we aren’t turned on or aroused, none of us is in interested in their body girls have assets to turn men on men have nothing, except for the face and some even have a very feminine physique even though women are more likely to gain weight (again due to science and comparatively a slower metabolism) so they literally have nothing and if we aren’t aroused then we aren’t lubricated (girls have already said lubricators don’t work) when we aren’t lubricated it’s a FORCED ENTRY ITS RAPE I mean clearly we are not even interested… then they don’t match our mentality thoughts or caliber eww. In India the problem is men are chasing girls who are out of their league they all want someone one notch higher when the fact is it’s easier for them to look good unlike us who face pms and ovulation (read that again) for 30 days that’s almost a month so it should have been the other way round.

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moemoemammon · 3 years

Note

Following that "least favorite" request could we get their reactions to being to told that they're their favorite, but to not tell the other brothers so their feelings don't get hurt? Maybe because they relate to them the most or just get along really well. Thanks!

You're My Favorite! But Don't Tell the Others-

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

There are no words to explain the overwhelming satisfaction ion Lucifer’s face after you tell him that. Of course, it’s only natural that he would be your favorite, all things considered.

The Avatar of Pride won’t ever forget this moment. He carefully considers your words and agrees not to tell anyone, as much as he’d love to bring it up, because he knows more than anyone what kind of chaos would ensue should the others (especially Mammon) find out.

But they can tell something’s up when the eldest has been heard humming all day. He moves about the house with even more grace than usual, and hasn’t scowled even once.

But the REAL shocker was when Mammon tried hiding a bill right as Lucifer walked in... and the eldest let him off with a warning. A WARNING! The brothers thought the Devildom must’ve frozen over, but you and he knew different.

“MC, I would like you to accompany me to Le Pluvier this afternoon, once you've finished your studies. I've already made reservations, so be sure to get ready on time. I've made sure to consider the things you might like to eat, so I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself. Don't be late." "...I'm grinning? I don't know what you're talking about."

Mammon

The gigantic grin on Mammon’s face is so bright, it could rival the sun. You’ve seriously made his day. No, his year. Actually, he’s pretty sure he could ride this high for the next millennia! There’s nothing in this world that could dampen his spirits right now!

He feels like he just won big at the casino! Of course he’s your favorite! He WAS your first demon, and now he’s gone and claimed his rightful spot as your number one! Good luck trying to keep him from saying anything. Mammon’s gonna throw it around in everyone’s faces for as long as he can milk it.

And you thought he was clingy before, just wait till you see how he treats you after hearing that. Despite always calling you his ‘servant’ or his ‘human’, you’d think your roles were reversed. Mammon spoils you every chance he gets, buying you clothes and trinkets, filling the spaces in your room with the things he knows you like, monopolizing you completely until nearly everything you own is a gift from him.

Your words also help soothe that jealousy of his a little. Only a little, though. It’s easier to watch you talk to other demons when he knows he’ll always be your first man.

“Didja really have to stay after class that long? I know you were talkin' to that demon that lent you a book, but you outta ask ME for stuff! Tch... you're lucky I'm in a good mood today! But I guess I don't have to worry about some low level demon like that, seein' as I'm your favorite!"

Levi

Wait wait wait....Come again? Did you seriously just say what he think you said..? That had to be a mistake! Some kind of...uh..verbal typo! Because there’s absolutely, positively, NO WAY in all of the nine layers that he could be your favorite demon. And yet you still insist that you’re telling the truth, and Levi feels like he’s died and gone to heaven.

Red faced and stammering up a storm, Levi looks like he might die. Is it really okay for a shut-in otaku to feel this giddy? Seriously, he hasn’t felt like this since he got his hands on a signed copy of a Ruri Hana audio drama! No no, this definitely beats that!

You’ve managed to inflate his nearly nonexistent ego, and now he feels like there’s nothing he can’t do! Maybe he could even go to Majolish right now?? THAT’S how good he’s feeling!

Almost as bad as Mammon in keeping it a secret. He doesn’t tell anyone right away, but they’re suspicious when they notice how much time he’s spending out of his room. And then when he and Mammon get in another petty argument, he drops the bomb that he’s your favorite demon in the entire Devildom, and you can guess how things go from there.

“Uuuoooo...!!!!! I've decided..! Since I've got a serious stat buff, I'm going to open a booth at the next convention coming up..! I'll sell my Ruri-chan fan art and spread her influence all over the Devildom! I'd never have the guts to do it normally, but I feel like I could do anything right now! Y-you'll go too, won't you MC?"

Satan

You nearly made this man spit tea all over his book, and now he’s coughing and spluttering and trying to figure out what could’ve prompted what he’s taking as a confession. You.. do realize what you’re saying, don’t you? And you know the kind of effect your words have on him?

Satan isn’t the type that wears his heart on his sleeve, so you have to look for his subtle expressions to tell how he’s feeling. But there’s nothing subtle about the redness of his ears and how he’s begging you not to look at him right now. For the sake of his sanity, give him a minute to recoup.

When he does recover, he agrees to keep it a secret for obvious reasons. And it’s hard to tell that he’s in a good mood, other than the fact that he hasn’t tried to pull any pranks on Lucifer lately. But Asmo sees all, and literally hounds him into spilling the tea.

He tells him a lie of course, but now the other brothers are noticing just how happy he is. Satan's smiling way too much today, isn't he? And he didn't even get mad when Beel got whipped cream on his jacket! Well, not THAT mad, anyway.

"Haaah... everyone's been harassing me all day, claiming I'm smiling a lot. I'm sure I look the same as I always do, but I'll admit that I've been happy ever since you told me that this morning. Wait.. you did think I've been grinning too, do you? I have??"

Asmo

Asmo always jokes about being your favorite and announces it as if the two of you are married, but when you actually confirm that his longing for you isn’t one sided, he ends up smearing lip balm across his cheek in shock. Did you... really say that just now? He knew it all along, but hearing it like that is just...!

Ooooh, he’s so happy he can hardly contain himself! Asmo throws his arms around you, peppering your face in kisses until you feel sticky from lip balm, wipes your face clean, then marks it up all over again. Good luck getting rid of him, because he might never let go.

Immediately posts it to Devilgram. Did you really think he’d let such a momentous occasion go unannounced? You must not have been paying attention to the kind of person he is! Asmo would put you on a pedestal in front of the world like a precious jewel if he were able, but this’ll have to do. He won’t hide his love at all!

Of course, the others don’t take too kindly to it, not that he cares. He never leaves your side, pampers you like crazy, and has even attempted to get you to move into his room. Lucifer put an immediate stop to that, though. Boo...

“I just can't get enough of you, MC! Just being near you gets me so excited that I can hardly stand it! You'll take responsibility for what you're doing to me, won't you? And in exchange, I'll take my time showing you just how much I love you. After all, you're my favorite, too!"

Beel

Beel never has a problem with choking while he eats, and it comes as naturally as breathing. Unfortunately neither of that applies right now, since you just made him choke on a meatball sub.

He usually takes your words with quiet acceptance, but this might be the most emotion you've ever witness from the stoic demon. His eyes are wider than that time that laid on an entire gingerbread mansion, sparkling up with such deep emotion you wouldn't be surprised if he cried. Instead he softens up and immediately embraces you.

...And doesn't let go. Sandwich long forgotten, he's been carrying you around all day, and ignoring any questions or protests from his brothers. Also insists on feeding you throughout the day. The food tastes better when he can enjoy it with you, so why not just bring you everywhere?

When he isn't carrying you, he's following you around subconsciously, either close up against you like a protective wall, or just far enough that you're within his line of sight. As far as not telling anyone, he... tells Belphie immediately. It was an accident though, since there's not much he keeps from his twin.

"MC, I won a meal ticket for Godevil Chocolatier. Let's get something for dessert today. Ah, you can get as much as you want, too. I really want to see what things you choose. They might become my favorites."

Belphie

There's nothing in this world that can wake Belphegor from his sleep, unless he allows it. No loud noises, no amount of shaking or smacking, and not even dragging him around the house. But the moment you whisper that he's your favorite demon, the Avatar of Sloth is wide awake.

Hey, you're not just saying weird things to get a reaction, are you? Because if so, this is a new level of cruel. Yet you confirm that you mean it and swear him into secrecy, and Belphie tries his best not to show how happy he is. A smile keeps creeping up on his face that he struggles to force down. It's annoying...

As funny as it’d be to tell everyone the news, he's good at keeping secrets. Instead, you've noticed that he's been sleeping a little less that before. When he does take one of his hundreds of naps, he finds some way to be closer to you. He's even been seen sleepwalking to your exact location somehow-

It's hard for him to believe that you're not teasing, though. How could HE be your favorite demon here? Belphie doesn't do anything special to win you over, yet after everything he put you through, you like him enough to deep him your favorite?

"You're weird, MC. I mean... me? I won't deny that I'm really happy though, but I guess I'm in disbelief. You should spoil me even more until I believe you. Lend me your lap for a few hours, okay?" "...I wonder what Lucifer would think if I told him, heheh."

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therealvinelle · 3 years

Note

Ok I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm just now copying your Norwegian Bella AU into a text translator, and if you don't already have 50 people in your inbox demanding a translation then shame on ALL OF US because this is glorious! And while Google Translate does have a certain charm (it translated "piper hun ut" as "she beeps") I'm curious to see how you'd put it in English.

Troquantary is referring to this post. In which Bella doesn't speak English.

Fun fact, you're the only one who's gone into my inbox to request this. I was so sad, had the translation half-written and everything, but I was too proud to beg. So thank you, Troquantary, for popping this ask.

As for the dictionary fuckups, sounds about right. I made a few typos, too, that made Google Translate suffer even more. (Such as managing to mix up "henne" (her) and "hendene" (hands), resulting in Aro patting Bella instead of clapping his hands. Poor Google.)

Also, there are a few cultural references and language things that would be lost in the translation, in an attempt to keep them I included notes clarifying things.

Some things, like Aro and Carlisle's very old man way of speaking, are easier said than done to translate, you'll have to bear with me there.

Additional notes are that I added a few things to this version, many of them because translating is hard, but a few because while translating I thought "oh you know what would be much funnier-" and then wrote that.

Alright, without further ado:

When Renée left Charlie she did not go to Florida, she went to Oslo. And she went all in to make her daughter a true Norwegian, hiring Norwegian nannies and making sure never to speak English around the child. Since transatlantic flights are expensive, little Bella Swan rarely got to visit her father, and as such she never did learn what should have been her native language.

She quickly forgot what English she did have in favor of Norwegian, with the exception of words like “Yes”, “No”, and “I’m Bella”.

The few trips she took to visit her father were all the more awkward than in canon since she couldn’t play with the Black kids. Let not the blame fall upon Charlie: he took Norwegian classes and speaks conversational Norwegian. He can’t speak to Renée, because her Norwenglish is incomprehensible even to Norwegians, but he can communicate with Bella.

Not that he’s had a lot of chances to do so.

Bella makes it to seventeen years old, she’s in second grade at Handels* and is a major outsider among the preps there, and then Renée marries a handsome skier**. Together they shall travel the continent all winter to participate in as many skiing races as they can, and in the summer they’ll take gigs at Hurtigruta to see the coast.

*“Handels” is the nickname for an Oslo high school infamous for its pupils being rich and beautiful blonds who are going to be CEOs when they grow up.

**Skiing as a sport is huge in Norway

***Hurtigruta is a famous ferry that travels across the Norwegian West coast

Bella, who sucks at skiing and is too young to work at Hurtigruten, takes the hint.

With dread in her stomach and dictionary in hand she goes to her father in America.

Where she doesn’t speak the language.

Faen.

Charlie gives her a car, and I wish this meta was set in the present because I could have joked about electric cars and the automat only driver’s license*, but Twilight is set in 2005 so I can’t. The car part proceeds without drama.

*An increasing number of Norwegian youth take the driver’s license for automatic cars only, and we’re the country in the world with the highest percentage of electric car purchases.

School is worse than in canon, because she is now a thousand times more sensational than if she was merely the new student. She is from another country! All of Forks keels over with excitement.

To make matters even worse, our girl doesn’t understand a word of what people are saying.

She is too awkward to let them know she doesn’t know English. It’d become a thing, and they might think she’s dumb. To be fair, it’s not good that she’s been through primary, secondary, and now a year and a half of high school and still sucks at English.

So she nods, smiles, mumbles “Hi, I’m Bella” to the new faces, and blushes heavily when anybody says anything.

People assume she’s shy. That’s a bit boring, but oh well.

She has her biology class with the redhead hottie she noticed during lunch. She watched him and his family, they were fascinatingly pretty, but she doesn’t know anything more about them. Sure would have been great if she could have asked the tiny girl (was it Jess?) about them.

Biology proceeds as in canon - Edward badly wants to eat the delicious girl, but fortunately doesn’t.

She runs into him in the office when he tries to switch to another biology lesson, but she has no idea what he’s saying so she only has the suspicion that this somehow concerns her. Which is still uncomfortable, but Bella is probably the problem here. The hottie surely can’t be.

He’s missing from school for a week, Bella finds that weird.

He returns, and to her great horror he starts talking to her.

“Hello”, he says.

Bella dies inside. He’s too handsome!

"I'm Edward Cullen," he continues, and ok, she got that. The hottie is called Edward, that’s good to know. She’s not sure she caught that last name, though, Köln?

He says something else, it’s gibberish to Bella even though she’s concentrating, and at the end there he says “Bella Swan”.

She gulps.

"I'm Bella Swan," she confirms and nods. That should be correct. God, she hopes it’s correct.

He smiles a crooked, boyish smile. She’s awed. She didn’t think it was possible to be so beautiful.

He says something else.

Bella didn’t catch it.

She blushes even harder, she hasn’t been more embarrassed in her life. Here he is, the most handsome guy in all the world, and she has nothing to say to him. Literally, they don’t speak the same language.

She should tell him.

It’s one thing to chicken out of telling the town she doesn’t speak English, but there’s something different about Edward Cullen. He deserves the truth.

But...

He’s the most beautiful person she has seen in her life. He is American, too, so the odds of him knowing Norwegian are microscopical. If he finds out she doesn’t understand a word he says he’ll stop talking to her, and selfish as she is she doesn’t want that.

So with a slightly guilty conscience (but not enough to fess up) she contributes to the conversation with enough words and smiles to pull through. "Yes", "No", "Thank you", and "That's nice".

He is surprised by several of these answers, but instead of giving her odd looks and losing interest he grows more invested in the conversation.

Class ends.

The next day the near accident happens, and he saves her. She is stunned - dear god, did he just pick up a whole car? After teleporting across the parking lot..?

Soon she’s in the ER, and more than a little bit stressed about that fact since she knows the Americans have a terrible healthcare system.

She hopes Charlie has an insurance.

An insanely beautiful man walks into the ER, and Bella is shocked. He is just as handsome as Edward and Edward’s lunch friends!

He introduces himself as Carlisle Cullen, and Bella can only assume this is someone’s older brother. Possibly related to the blonde girl.

He smiles at her, says something, and she answers, "I'm Bella Swan."

He frowns.

That must have been the wrong answer, then.

His hands return to investigating her scalp, and to her great surprise he switches to perfect Norwegian, "kjenner De* noe ubehag når jeg holder her?" Do you feel any discomfort when I touch here?

*De is the Norwegian polite pronoun for “you”. Du = thou = the French tu, and De = you = the French vous. These polite pronouns went out of use in the 1980’s, save for when addressing royal persons, and would be considered antiquated in 2005.

He hurries to add, "Norsk lærte jeg i... fjor sommer. Det var et nettkurs." I learned Norwegian… last year. Online class.

"Hvilket da?" Which one? Bella asks, because Charlie needs to hear about this. The doctor has beautiful, if slightly outdated, pronunciation.

The doctor’s smile turns uncertain. She gets the feeling there’s something he doesn’t want to say. "Husker ikke," I don’t remember, sier han etter en litt vel lang pause.

That’s a shame. And weird.

"De hadde hellet med Dem i dag, som ikke ble truffet av den bilen." You were lucky today, not getting hit by that car. he then says, noticeably changing the subject.

"Det var ikke hell, det var Edward," It wasn’t luck, it was Edward, she replies sharply.

The doctor definitely looks uncomfortable.

She continues, "Han krysset skolegården på et blunk, og plukket opp hele bilen. Jeg så det," He crossed the schoolyard in a moment, and picked up the whole car. I saw it,

The doctor laughs. "Om han kunne det hadde nok gymkarakteren hans vært meget bedre. Nei, frøken Swan*, jeg beklager å si at det høres ut som at De er litt omtåket. Det er helt normalt ved hjernerystelse." If he could do that, his PE grade would be a lot better. No, Miss Swan, I’m sorry to say you seem confused. That’s normal with concussions.

*Addressing a young woman as “frøken” is even more outdated than using polite pronouns.

Why does Bella get the feeling he’s lying?

She’s discharged.

We’ll jump ahead to her trip to La Push - that trip uneventful, since Jacob knows she doesn’t speak English. They stick their hands in their pockets and stare at the sea.

The next day she’s shanghaied to Port Angeles, because apparently she said “Yes” at the wrong time when talking to Jessica (Turns out Jess’s name was Jessica!) and accidentally said yes to a day trip to Port Angeles.

Like in canon she wanders away from the others, and as in canon she is nearly gang raped. And again as in canon she is saved at the last moment by Edward.

He buys her dinner, and she can’t believe her own luck- and misfortune. A date with the most handsome guy on the planet (hence the luck) and she can’t say a word to him (hence the misfortune)!

He says things to her, lends her his jacket, and really this is it for Bella, she’s peaked, life can’t get better than this.

(That’s a lie, it would be better if she spoke English.)

He’s so amazing.

She’s gotten pretty good at navigating conversations with him, so she nods and aha’s her way through.

In his car on the way home the tone takes a more serious turn.

He asks her about something, and it’s a serious question, that much she’s gathered. She answers in the confirmative.

He is silent.

Did she say anything wrong?

(Edward, on his end, just asked if she knows what he is. She said yes, so calmly, not even a trace of fear in her.)

A few days later he takes her out on a walk in the woods.

He shows her a meadow in the woods, and when he steps into it he lights up in the sunlight.

Bella is in shock.

She knew there was something different about him, but- holy cow. This guy isn’t human.

Is she dating a god?

She stumbles into the clearing after him, and they spend a day together where he says things, and she can barely hear any of it (nevermind understand it) because she’s so distracted by how pretty he is.

The next day he takes her to a house in the middle of nowhere. She doesn’t want to guess that this can be where he lives. Surely gods don’t live in houses?

He shows her inside the house, and introduces her for Dr. Cullen and a lady with a name she doesn’t catch.

Bit weird that these two are acting like a couple of parents, they’re far too young and divine for that.

Edward shows her around in an old-fashioned office, and she doesn’t know what to make of i when she sees a painting of Carlisle. Edward launches into a long story when he sees her watching it, unfortunately she doesn’t catch any dates or artist names. At one point she heard the word “suicide”, though, and that’s not good.

She doesn’t get much out of the story.

The baseball game doesn’t happen because Bella didn’t pick up on what Edward wanted and didn’t realize she was being invited to a thing. They spend the afternoon watching a movie instead.

The relationship continues, impeded slightly by communication problems, but she’s mostly able to cover those up.

Until her birthday comes around.

She gets a papercut.

Jasper lunges at her. Edward throws her into a glass table, and then everyone is leaving.

Carlisle is kind enough to switch to Norwegian when he’s stitching up her arm, perhaps remembering the last time she was his patient. "Jasper har ikke vært på dietten vår så veldig lenge." Jasper hasn’t been on our diet for very long.

"Diett?"she asks. She’s never seen Edward eat anything. She wasn’t clear on what the Cullens ate, honestly she thought they were above such things. She was thinking maybe photosynthesis. The knowledge that they apparently eat food astounds her, but diets?

"Dyreblod istedenfor menneskeblod," Animal blood in stead of human blood, Carlisle clarifies.

Whachasay?

Carlisle gives a slight smile. “Jaspers liv som vampyr fikk en brutal start." Jasper’s life as a vampire got off to a brutal start.

...

Vampire?!

Bella’s missed something here.

Oh dear lord, oh fy faen, she has missed something.

“Åja”, uh huh, is all she can say, and suddenly she’s very aware of the fact that she’s sitting there with a bleeding arm.

And Carlisle.

Who is a vampire.

Over the course of the following conversation Bella makes a host of discoveries.

Edward has been a vampire this whole time, and he’s a telepathic vampire. Whether Bella should be a vampire too or not has been a matter of hot debate, but due to religious reasons Edward doesn’t want that.

Carlisle also brings up how Edward died of the Spanish flu.

"Jeg var under den oppfatning at Edward fortalte deg bakhistorien min?" I was under the impression Edward told you my back story? Carlisle asks at one point, and Bella just has to ask very nicely if he’d be so kind as to repeat it.

Turns out the guy is nearly four hundred years old.

Jaha.

Jahahaha jaa ha.

That’s… a lot.

She wanders out of the house in shock, and hardly notices Edward’s strange behavior over the next couple of days.

One day he picks her up at school, and takes her behind the house.

That works out.

He’s a vampire, but he never hurt her. He is endlessly beautiful, perhaps easier to love now that she knows he’s not a god. He’s her Edward, and that’s suddenly easier now that she knows.

They can still be together.

But now that she knows this about him, it’s about time he knows something about her as well.

It’s time to finally be honest with him.

So when he opens his mouth, she opens her mouth as well, but she doesn’t get any further than to “Edward-” before he launches into a monologue.

She’ll have to wait until he’s done before saying her piece. It’s a bit embarrassing, but it doesn’t seem like he intends to stop talking anyway.

And what he’s saying seems to be serious, so it’s probably best to let him finish.

Edward concludes his monologue by kissing her forehead. Then he disappears.

Where did he go?

A big unsure, Bella goes back to the house. She’ll just have to wait until he gets back.

She doesn’t know what to think when Charlie returns from work and tells her the Cullens have all left.

Oh, god.

Edward must have found out she doesn’t speak English.

She made a mockery of him.

He has every right to leave.

Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to live with.

Bella sinks into a depression.

The hallucinations begin, as in canon, though Hallusinward speaks Norwegian. Thank god for small mercies.

The friendship with Jacob (dictionary in hand) blooms, as someone has to help her see those hallucinations.

The cliff diving happens, and Alice shows up. Bella’s not sure what this is about, but she has gotten good enough at English to know that something bad happened, and Alice wants them to do something.

She’s a bit surprised to find herself on a plane to Italy, though.

Alice tells her to “Run to Edward” and ok, she got that, actually.

So she saves Edward.

After that she’s taken into the sewer, which turns out to house dozens of vampires.

Bella, Edward, and Alice are received in some kind of hall, where an unusual vampire has quite a bit to say. She understands some of what he’s saying, at least the part about “la tua cantante”. She knows a bit about Italian, see, so she knows that he’s talking about a song now.

She wishes she knew the context.

At one point he takes her hand, and appears fascinated by it. She wonders if he’s a palmreader. Not very vampirey, but what does she know.

He asks her a question.

"Yes," she says.

Saying yes has gotten her this far, after all.

But when he lights up and claps his hands together, and Edward and Alice stare at her in shock and betrayal, she knows she must have said the wrong thing.

The two are dismissed from the room before Bella can do or say anything, she��s just listening to Edward make a racket outside in the hallway.

Not good.

The unusual vampire brings her further down in his sewer palace to a basement, and she is given comfortable clothes to wear.

This is getting terrifying.

The vampire leans towards her - and she chickens out.

"Jeg snakker ikke engelsk!" she squeaks. "Non habla ingles!" I don’t speak English.

Han stanser, og ser forvirret ut. "Que- Hva behager*?" I beg your pardon? spør han etter et øyeblikk.

*A very formal, and slightly outdated (you can use it, but people will think you’re putting on airs. And they will be right) way of saying “excuse me?”

Sobbing, Bella tells him the whole story, from how she didn’t want to be the weird kid in school to how she’s now somehow in Italy without knowing why nor what she just agreed to.

When she’s done the vampire starts laughing.

"Dette forklarer jo en hel del," This explains quite a bit, ler han. "Men, kjære Bella, jeg er redd det ikke endrer noe." But, my dear Bella, I’m afraid it changes nothing.

He tells her that she has agreed to serve him and his army of undead warriors into eternity.

Well fuck.

"Du skal få slippe det, når du ikke visste hva du samtykket til - men skjebnen din forblir den samme. Loven er loven." You’re released from that promise, as you didn’t know what you agreed to - but your fate remains the same. The law is the law.

After a moment of silence, during which she looks terrified, he hurries to add, "Vi har en lov. Du må bli en av oss." We have a law. You must become one of us.

A law that Bella Swan has to become a vampire?

People are finally speaking Norwegian, and Bella is still lost. And it’s too embarrassing to keep pestering this poor, polite man with questions.

So she nods.

He gives her a glittering smile, and bites her.

When she wakes, Aro offers her an English course. A language course that, naturally, leads to her staying in Volterra. Why not learn a few more languages while we’re at it, dearest Bella?

Some time later Edward breaks into Volterra to save his Rapunzel, only to barely recognize her now that she’s a vampire who says things. Lots of things, she talks all the time now. WHAT DID ARO DO TO HER.

Too mortified to admit that she never spoke English, Bella claims she’s been brainwashed.

Aro is having too much fun to correct her, and the whole sad affair sets off a regrettable flood of rumors.

#troquantary #norwegian things #bella swan #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #evighetens kyss #evighetens kyss meta #evighetens kyss renessanse

402 notes · View notes

jkstompers · 3 years

Text

just to study | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

summary: your seat partner asks if you’re free after class, just to study.

genre: fluff, college!au, established friendship, flirtationship, mutual pining, they go to a ‘frat’ party together, also yugyeom! a sweetheart<3 we love him.

warnings: mature!!, mentions of alcohol + alcohol consumption, mentions of sex, strong language, SEXUAL TENSION, mentions of dick sucking??, hints of a wet dream on oc’s end, very strong urges to kiss each other but no kisses today </3, that’s pretty much it!

word count: 7.4k (i...kinda went overboard)

authors’ note: hello!! this is a pt. 2 to sleepyhead! it’s based a few weeks after so yeah <3 also the pacing is kind of weird but… i don’t really know how being drunk is so............(＞人＜) i’m sorry about that! one scene was inspired by this post haha it was just so cute to think about i had to do it. ALSO i literally haven’t taken anatomy since high school so i just used random terms from quizlet T_T pls excuse that as well! but otherwise, enjoy!!!!!!!!! (っ^_^)っ

(if u see any typos...ignore them pls T_T)

side note: imagine jk looking like this when he goes to the party lmao classic fboy look with the camo bomber and his piercings ugh <3

banner pic creds here ! <3

you made it to class on time today, woke to your alarm and even had enough time to eat breakfast before you came. in a particularly good mood, you made your way up the stairs to the row jungkook was sitting in, hoping that the seat next to him was empty (you didn’t have to hope, jungkook always saved the seat next to him for you, no matter what.)

“good morning, ___!” jungkook’s voice greets you the same as always as soon as you appear next to him. he moves his bag out of the way for you to sit down.

he looks especially cute today. his long floppy hair framing his face, his sweet smile beaming up to you. you wonder how dumb you looked drooling over him for a minute before you replied, “hi jungkook, how are you?” with the same smile on your face that you show him every time he sees you. it never changes, but it never fails to make jungkook’s heart skip a beat.

“i’m doing okay, you?” he answers while you pull out your laptop.

you didn’t have a chance to reply before your professor starts talking. informing the class about the test that’s planned at the end of the month, finals in two months, and then dropping the bomb that there’s a quiz tomorrow about the things you’ve learned in the past week. a slight panic takes over you, although you didn’t know why, you understood what he was teaching and you were retaining all of the information well. but when the professor pulls up all the information on the screen to review it all, all of the words and pictures overwhelm you.

to make things worse, jungkook is to your left, not paying attention to a word your professor is saying. instead, playing some game where he has to click his touchpad an obnoxious amount of times. your attention is split between jungkook’s erratic tapping and the notes that the professor projects onto the screen, even though his computer barely made any noise, his incessant movement was distracting you.

“jungkook, you’re taking notes and playing a game?” your voice comes out as a rushed whisper. there’s a snort that comes from him before he nods. you couldn’t be mad at him. “there’s a quiz on all of this tomorrow, you know?”

“i know,” he continues to tap and click, the motion growing incredibly annoying. you didn’t know why you couldn’t have just tried to block it out, but he was just so close to you and admittedly, you looked at his hands, a lot. the way that his fingers tapped against his keyboard and his veins that accentuate his already beautiful hands, it was free art you could look at, how could you not? at this point, you’re contemplating holding his hand to make him stop tapping.

you were in the middle of typing when he finally stops, leaning back and stretching his arms up into the air. you let out a sigh of relief, until he starts again. apparently he reached the next level on his game, tapping even faster, if that was even fucking possible.

quietly, you groan. turning your attention solely on him. you place your hand on top of his, the tapping ceasing almost immediately. “please, jungkook, you’re distracting me.”

he looks at your hand before he looks at you, his chocolate doe eyes wide to the action. he gulps, “sorry.”

you remove your hand, focusing back to the presentation. jungkook feels the heat from his cheeks travel to his hand. the feeling of your hand on his wasn’t something he was expecting to experience today, but he wants nothing more than for you to do it again. he exits the game tab and changes his focus to the lecture.

or moreso, you focusing on the lecture.

you look so cute. your cheek pressed up against your fist. he stares at the way that your forehead creases in concentration. he taps on your arm that’s resting on the table, “hey, you look like you’re stressed out.”

you turn your head slightly to look over to him. “that’s because i am,” you send him a quick smile before you go back to looking at the projection.

he furrows his eyebrows, “why? you’re smart, there’s no need to worry about what you get on this.” you were an a+ student, never anything less than that. jungkook knows that you ace every test that you take, so he doesn’t quite understand why you’re so stressed.

“because jungkook,” you groan. you expected a lot from yourself, sure b’s were okay, but a’s and a+’s were what you wanted and what you thought would make you feel satisfied. there was no way you could explain this without sounding like an overachiever. so you just sigh, “i’m just not really prepared.”

jungkook thinks of the perfect way to spend more time with you, snapping his fingers before suggesting, “we should study together after class, studies show that studying with someone else will give you an a+, guaranteed.” the confidence in his voice makes you smile, and helps you ease up a little bit.

you raise an eyebrow, a laugh creeping up from your lungs. “source for that statistic, sir?”

he taps his right temple, the gesture making you snort. “no but seriously, i’ll help you out,” he assures. his laptop turns towards you to show you all the notes he took, different words highlighted and colored differently.

you act like you think about it, staying quiet for a minute or so. but you know the answer was yes no matter what. “just to study?” you tease. jungkook raises his eyebrows in surprise, an amused smile on his face, “just kidding, we can go to mine? i owe you for the ride you gave me like two weeks ago.” you tap your fingers against your laptop nervously, your teeth taking in your bottom lip as you ask. you haven’t had a guy over to your apartment, not since you’ve moved in. there’s a certain anxiousness that comes with the suggestion.

jungkook nods, “sounds good.”

“okay, again.” you brush your hair behind your ears, preparing yourself once more for another pass of the flashcards. the two of you have been at it with these cards for the past hour or so, you were determined to get these right no matter how long it took. jungkook knew you were gonna get it down, you only had three more cards, these ones specifically stumping you.

“aponeuroses,” he looks at the card and then to you.

“connective tissue that forms a broad sheet which attach muscle to bone or muscle to other muscles,” you speak confidently. jungkook nods, moving onto the next card of the set of three.

“endomysium,” he reads the card. you hesitate on this one for a second, he plays with the corner of the card until you snap your fingers.

“that’s the connective tissue surrounding the… the— uh, oh! muscle fiber?” your brain works extra hard. jungkook rewards you with another nod, flipping to the last card.

“fascia.”

“dense connective tissue,” you begin, pausing to think of the rest of the answer. you start biting your thumb nail, knowing there’s more to it but it’s not coming to your brain quick enough.

jungkook just stares, watching your facial expressions as you search for the answer in your brain. this could be the worst crush he’s ever had, he thinks you’re cute when you’re just sitting there, thinking. he doesn’t remember ever liking someone this much, most of the time his crushes went away after a few weeks or so. but it’s almost been an entire year since he’s started crushing on you, and it still hasn’t stopped. you still manage to find a way to make his thoughts surround you.

“separates and holds individual tissues? it’s the one that extends into the tendons, right?” you perk up after a minute or so. your brain finally coming up with the answer. you blame jungkook’s presence for slowing you down. maybe you shouldn’t have accepted this offer to study together, because how could you focus when jeon jungkook is sitting right in front of you?

“you’re amazing,” he praises, setting the flashcards down onto the table. you blush at the compliment, jungkook takes notice, but he doesn’t mind, he thinks pink is pretty on you. he’s never wanted to kiss your cheeks as much as he did now, and trust, he’s thought about it many, many times. “all done?” he asks after staring at you for the longest time.

you nod, “just gonna highlight these terms to review them later so i can get it down 100%.”

jungkook watches as you diligently reread your notes and highlight them. an apple on the table taking his attention away for a second when he realizes he hasn’t eaten at all today. he takes a bite, the loud crunch noise seemingly startling the both of you. it makes you turn your head and raise an eyebrow towards him.

“sorry,” he chews, “hungry.”

your stare lingers a little longer than you wanted it to. his cheeks are full of apple, you can’t help but laugh a little. “there’s still the sticker on it,” you point out.

he turns the apple around to see the blue sticker. peeling it off, he holds it on his fingertip, an idea sprouting in his mind to see that sweet smile of yours again. so he places the sticker on your cheek, your gaze moving from your screen to him and then to the fruit sticker now stuck onto your cheek. “get it? ‘cause you’re sweet like this apple is,” he smiles.

oh my god. you blush embarrassingly, your entire face flushed pink as you hide your cheeks behind your hands. he laughs at your reaction. jungkook was feeling bold today, so he moves forward, gently taking your hands away from your face to see the cute pink tint he caused. he sits back, admiring your pretty face.

you feel yourself burning hotter and hotter the longer he stares, looking everywhere but his face, too scared to make eye contact. you look back to your computer screen, “um— there’s pasta in the fridge— if you’re hungry, i made it last night.” you offer, but he declines politely, telling you that he has to leave pretty soon because his friends are expecting him to join them today.

begrudgingly, you watch as jungkook packs his things up. he thinks about how content he felt hanging out with you today, and how he wanted to do it again, as soon as possible. a thought pops into his head before he opens the door to leave. he turns on his heel.

you weren’t expecting the sudden turn, accidentally bumping into his chest. “oof! sorry.”

“it’s alright,” he laughs, helping you steady yourself by holding your shoulders. “i just wanted to ask— uh, my friends are throwing a party tomorrow night, do you— do you wanna come?” his words come out jumbled, jungkook never fails to trip on his words whenever he’s near you.

tomorrow night...it’s a friday tomorrow, the quiz is tomorrow, why the fuck not? a stress reliever from all the studying you’ve done. “sure,” you answer after a minute or so of deliberation. you look up at him with a smile, suddenly realizing how close the two of you are.

your eyes flicker between his eyes and his lips, the close proximity makes you hold your breath. “great! i can pick you up? be your DD?” he quirks his head, a smile that matches yours on his face.

you nod, “yeah, i’d like that.” with that, jungkook takes a step back, widening the space between you both as his right hand goes to hold the strap of his bag.

“okay, i’ll text you the details.” before he turns around, turning the knob of your front door and letting himself out. before the door closes, he sends you a wave, one which you reflect as he pulls the door closed. you move up and lock the door, your forehead resting against the cold metal slab.

you wonder if this crush will ever advance into something more. neither of you really push the agenda, most of the time just cutely flirting with each other and only talking to each other during class. maybe this party will be a chance to further the bond the two of you have. you could only wish that you could drop this nervous shield that pops up everytime you’re around him, but jungkook is just so cool. the campus heartthrob, everyone wants to be him or be with him.

for the rest of the day, jungkook seems to occupy your mind, as he always does. when you get to sleep, the fantasies of jungkook’s lips on yours drift you into a deep sleep, one that eventually leads to a dream that has you rubbing your thighs together. his hands were all over your body, his cologne that you were so familiar with tormenting your nose, it all felt too real. so when you woke up to the sound of your alarm, sweat beaded at your hairline. you took deep breaths, cementing the fact that he isn’t here, and he certainly isn’t doing those things with you right now.

it was not helping that you dreamt of him sexually on the day of your quiz, the one that you were immensely stressing over. now, you’re gonna have to walk into class, act normal around jungkook even though your brain produced pornographic images of him, (it’s not the first time, but it’s the first time you’ve had to face him right after it happened) and ace this quiz.

you tried almost everything you could to have cleared your brain of your dream sequence. taking a shower, eating breakfast, studying once more, etc. but when you’re walking into the lecture hall, flashes of the dream and the sound of his imagined moan echo in your mind.

you walk up the stairs with your eyes down, not sure if you could make eye contact with jungkook without turning red. “hey, ___, good morning!” the familiar voice greets you.

“morning,” you reply, dryly. taking the seat next to him and silently taking your laptop out, waiting for the professor to start the quiz. jungkook seemed a bit taken aback by your cold answer, but he took into account that you’re probably just super nervous and stressed out because of the quiz, so he doesn’t take it too personally. instead, just sitting back in his chair and waiting patiently to take the quiz as well.

at this point, you were psyching yourself out, swearing that you already forgot all of the terms. if you were quizzed on the parts of male anatomy, specifically jungkook’s, then maybe you could ace it, but the terms that you were working oh so hard to memorize yesterday slip from your mind. when the professor tells you to separate and start the quiz, you start to bite your thumb nail again.

jungkook takes a look over at you, noticing the bad habit of yours. he gently takes a hold of your arm, pulling your thumb away from your teeth. the action causing you to make eye contact with him and his big doe eyes that hold so much love and light. you find yourself a bit speechless then, too many thoughts running around in your mind.

he whispers, “you’ll do great, okay?” the statement soothing your nerves. his voice somehow makes your body relax, even though you thought you would freak out if you made any sort of contact with him.

“you— you too, good luck,” you mutter. a half smile on your face. you were grateful that jungkook broke you out of your trance, his words of encouragement suddenly placing you in the testing state of mind. the images from last night's dream seem to put themselves away for now.

the next twenty minutes are complete silence. everyone focused on the questions before them. of course, you zoomed through the quiz, prepared for the trick questions and the harder ones that come up. jungkook finishes after you. it wasn’t a surprise, jungkook didn’t even have to try, you swear you’ve never seen him stress out before. nobody was perfect, you believed that, but jeon jungkook was the closest to it.

“okay, class! the quiz will be graded by tonight hopefully, you’re free to leave,” your professor alerts the class. jungkook waits patiently until you’re standing, following you down the stairs and out the door.

you decide to speak first, since you greeted him with such a dry response this morning. it wasn’t his fault that you dreamed of him on top of you, so why were you punishing him for it? “how’d you think you did?” you asked, turning to look at him.

he shrugs, “good i guess, i think i fucked up on one or two questions.”

“was it the striation part? i think i messed up on that one too.”

he shakes his head, “you know you aced that, don’t lie.”

you stay silent, the two of you walking to the campus parking lot. neither of you engage in conversation as you usually do. the images of last night’s dream slipping into your consciousness once again. you try to shake your head, to rid yourself of the thoughts. nothing else to distract you from them because jungkook was oddly silent the entire walk. you fear that he can actually read your mind and see all of your thoughts. if he could, he doesn’t mention it. not saying one word to you until he walks you to your car, greeting you with a ‘see you next class!’ before leaving to go to his car. not even mentioning the party to you, you start to wonder if he regrets inviting you. up until you heard your phone ring when you parked in the lot of your apartment complex.

[10:24 am] jungkook: hey! forgot to remind u about the party 😫

[10:24 am] jungkook: ur still down to come, right?

[10:28 am] you: hi! yeah :)

[10:28 am] you: is there a dress code or smth? haha

[10:29 am] jungkook: not that i know of 😂

[10:30 am] jungkook: u can wear anything u want

[10:30 am] jungkook: ur cute whatever u wear

[10:31 am] you: oh stop it jeon ur making me blush

[10:32 am] you: but tell me :( should i wear something casual? pants? a dress?

[10:34 am] jungkook: 😂

[10:34 am] jungkook: it’s kind of like a frat party…

[10:35 am] jungkook: so anything is okay

[10:37 am] you: ah okay

[10:37 am] you: i’ll surprise u then ;)

[10:40 am] jungkook: alright :)

[10:41 am] jungkook: i’ll come by around 9 to pick u up? sound good?

[10:42 am] you: yeah! gives me enough time to nap and get ready lol

[10:44 am] jungkook: great :) see u then cutie

you wake up from your nap around one, you had more than enough time for you to get ready for a party. so you decide to clean your apartment first, little chores to waste time before you get yourself dolled up. when you finished, it was around seven thirty. you washed your face, brushed your teeth, all that good stuff before sliding on a simple black bodycon that you got last summer. styling your hair and spraying on your favorite perfume before looking at yourself in the mirror. this wasn’t too much, right? lots of people wear stuff like this to frat parties, so you didn’t find it too fancy. the notification sound from your phone goes off, you move to check and see if it was who you were expecting.

[8:54 pm] jungkook: i’m here :)

[8:54 pm] you: ahh gimme a sec i need to pee haha

[8:55 pm] jungkook: take ur time cutie

[8:56 pm] jungkook: i’m right in front

jungkook only really had to wait about five minutes. the visual of you walking out of your apartment doors, looking the way you did, was breathtaking. his jaw drops, mouth slightly agape as he watches you walk up to his car through the passenger window. you are so gorgeous. it’s probably the first time jungkook’s seen you in clothes that really compliment your figure, most of the time you show up to class in hoodies and sweaters. so greedily, he takes in the way the dress hugs your curves deliciously. he shakes the thoughts from his head to get out of the car and open the door for you.

“what a gentleman,” you tease, getting into the car.

he joins you soon after, “you look...gorgeous.” jungkook doesn’t seem so shy now, his eyes taking in your beautiful self.

“thank you,” you blush under his stare. “is it too much?”

“no! no— not at all, all eyes will be on you tonight.” he smiles, turning the car on. now you were able to gawk over him. a simple outfit, all black with a black and white camo bomber. his side profile is perfect, his long hair draping over his face so gracefully and his piercings somehow sparkling in the dark of the car.

he doesn’t drive too far, somewhere in the suburbs where the big houses are. a huge iron gate in the front, seemingly too fancy for a frat party setting. jungkook rolls his window down to greet someone waiting in front of the gate with a couple of other guys.

“jeon! you’re late dude,” one of the guys gives him a handshake through the window.

“sorry man, i’m here now though,” jungkook laughs. the guy giving him the greenlight and opening the gate for him, jungkook parks inside on their stone driveway, decorated with a fountain and a beautiful garden.

“your friend lives here?” you inquire, impressed by the look of the place.

he nods, “fancy right? his parents are ceo’s.” makes sense, and it would also make sense as to why they were throwing a frat party here, rich sons always seem to stir up trouble whenever they’re bored.

he steps out of the car to open the door for you, always a gentleman. he takes your hand and helps you out, the two of you walking to the huge open double doors. as soon as you walk in, the smell of alcohol hits your nose, you try your best not to cringe. the blare of the speakers is the second thing you notice, along with the shouting of jungkook’s friends greeting him. “who’s this?” one of them asks, referring to you.

jungkook seems to hesitate at first, not really knowing how to introduce you. he settles by saying, “this is ___!” not attaching any ‘friend’, ‘classmate’, or anything to the introduction. his friend holds his hand out to shake yours.

you take it with a smile on your face, “i’m yugyeom, it’s nice to meet you!” a smile that reflects yours is on his face, it made you feel welcome. you were never really the type to go to parties, your time is spent working and/or going to school, but this interaction helps you ease up a little more.

“hello, yugyeom!” you reply, shouting over the music.

“do you wanna take a shot?” he asks. pointing to the enormous kitchen where they’re housing all the alcohol, you look to jungkook first who’s paying more attention to his phone rather than the conversation you were just having.

you shrug, “why not?”

yugyeom leads the two of you to the kitchen, jungkook following behind you blindly. he looks up from his phone, done with whatever business he was dealing with to ask, “where are we going?”

“taking a shot,” you answer, pointing to yugyeom who’s already pouring three shots.

“dude, i’m not drinking, don’t pour three.” jungkook tries to stop him before he fills up the third shot glass but his arm knocks yugyeom’s in the process, the bottle spilling the clear liquid into the third shot glass.

“i’ll take two,” you suggest, feeling a bit wild and down to venture out of your comfort zone.

yugyeom smiles at this, “i like her, jeon.” he hands you the two shot glasses full of vodka, jungkook stands next to you and watches as you down the first shot. your face cringing as soon as the alcohol touches your tongue.

“you didn’t even give her a chaser,” jungkook notices, scolding yugyeom who's already downed his shot and is sucking on a lime. “here, suck,” holding a slice of lime up to your lips. his choice of words disorienting you, especially since he was holding the lime up to your mouth instead of just handing it to you. your eyes flicker between the lime and his face, but nevertheless, you suck. sinking your teeth into the sour fruit. jungkook’s eyes zeroed in on how your lips wrap around the slice, slightly grazing his fingers. it’s not long before you’re making a cute scrunched up face from the sourness. “good,” he praises. you don’t deny the slight burn your lower belly felt when he said that to you. you swear he was making sex eyes to you, but you couldn’t tell. he broke eye contact with you soon after, throwing the fruit into the trash below the table that the alcohol was perched on.

yugyeom hands you another lime for your second shot, this time no jungkook to hold the fruit for you. the second shot burning down your throat with the lime chasing after, both yugyeom and jungkook cheer, congratulating you for being a trooper (even though two shots were their warmups).

the next hour or so, jungkook brings you around. he introduces you to his friends and making conversation with them. one certain group, you didn’t really enjoy. a group of five girls, clearly swarming jungkook as soon as he turned around from talking to another one of his friends. the girls ask how he’s been doing, all of the basic conversation starters. when jungkook tries to introduce you, they all turn to you and give you a little head nod before turning their attention back to jungkook. he stands there, conversing with them longer than he had with any of his other friends, and you found yourself getting, hm, jealous.

so you search around the room crowded room, looking for some way out. your eyes spot yugyeom in the backyard through the huge sliding doors, sitting on one of those lawn chairs with the one next to him empty. you decide to leave the group you were currently getting pushed out of and join yugyeom. he notices you when you step onto the grass, trying your best not to sink into the dirt with your heels. “you doing alright? where’s jungkookie?” he asks, sitting up.

you plop down onto the lawn chair next to him. “he’s in there,” you point to the house, “with five girls.”

the last bit of the sentence makes him laugh, a cackle where he holds his stomach because he was laughing so hard. “do you want a shot?” he offers after he recovers from his fit, pulling a tequila bottle out from nowhere.

but you agree, “two, please.” he fills the two shot glasses, but not completely like he did with the vodka earlier. there were no limes, or any type of chaser for you to take around, so you take the two shots like ripping off a band-aid, quick.

“you’re a funny girl,” yugyeom compliments when you’ve downed the shots.

“thanks?” you cough, the feeling of the alcohol still burning your nose and throat, “what did i say that was funny?”

“i think it’s because i’m tipsy, but that joke you made about jungkook being with five girls was hilarious.” he slaps his knee, almost making himself laugh up a storm again, but you weren’t laughing.

you raised an eyebrow, speaking with a serious tone. “it wasn’t a joke, he’s in there with five girls.”

yugyeom tries to collect himself, sitting properly on the lawn chair when he asks you to clarify, “you mean he’s fucking them? or he’s talking to them?”

you’re silent for a second before replying, why did you say it like he was in there fucking them? maybe it’s because he might as well be, so engrossed in whatever the hell they were saying to even notice that you were gone. “just talking to them,” you reply.

“that’s what i thought, jungkook isn’t like that anymore,” yugyeom nods his head, pouring another shot out for you.

“anymore?” you ask. he hands you the shot, you hesitate this time, starting to feel the effects of the first four shots you took. he doesn’t push you to take it. he just leans back onto the lawn chair as he sighs.

“you could say he’s retired,” he shrugs.

the term makes you laugh, “...a retired fuckboy?” you sit back into the lawn chair as well, looking up to the night sky. the shot glass forgotten on the table next to you. your body feels like it’s floating.

“yeah, he hasn’t really been doing stuff like that recently,” yugyeom spills. you stay quiet after he feeds you this information. yugyeom offhandedly telling you that you shouldn’t be jealous makes you feel guilty. why were you even jealous? jungkook was technically still just a friend to you. just because the two of you flirt every now and then doesn’t mean you’re together. of course he would be surrounded by girls, just look at him!

“there you are! i was looking all over for you,” jungkook interrupts your inner monologue. his voice comes from across the lawn, you look up to see him walking over to you and yugyeom.

“hi, jungkookie,” you smile up at him. the alcohol having more of an effect on you the longer you let it sit in your stomach.

he almost freezes up at the nickname, looking over to yugyeom and asking, “did you tell her to call me that?”

yugyeom holds his hands up in innocence, “i didn’t tell her to do anything, she’s like five or six shots deep though.”

you take the shot that was forgotten on the table and down it. “six,” you clarify.

“alright, slow down, iron liver,” jungkook jokes. yugyeom stands from the lawn chair, receiving jungkook’s telepathic signals to get the fuck up to he could talk and hang out with you.

“play beer pong with me later, ___! i’m gonna go look for eunwoo,” yugyeom points to you, giving you a thumbs up before leaving the backyard and moving into the house.

“feeling okay? think you might throw up soon?” jungkook asks, replacing yugyeom in the chair next to you.

“feel like i’m surfing, you know? like wavy,” you answer. the feeling was hard to explain, you weren’t dizzy but at the same time your brain was telling you to stop moving, even though you were completely still.

“ah, you’re getting there,” jungkook snorts. you didn’t have much willpower to answer, so the two of you sit there in a comfortable silence before a group of people coming towards, all greeting jungkook and you. they offer you a red cup, despite your current predicament. leaning against the chair and your droopy eyes, telling them that you’ve taken too many shots. a lightweight at her peak.

jungkook tries to deny it for you, but with a smile, you accept the cup. it was filled with the fancy mixed alcohol juice they had. “thank you,” you place the cup onto the table, “i’ll drink it.... later..” your words begin to draw themselves out. jungkook somehow finding a way to make the entire group leave, making it just the two of you again.

“give it to me, you’re starting to slur your words.” his hand is open, laying on the table and waiting for you to surrender the cup.

your eyes flicker from the red cup, to his face, then to his hand. a smirk on your face when you hold the cup up to your lips, tilting it back and drinking the cursed juice. you weren’t able to down it all, it was too much, you drank maybe ⅔ of it. you cough, taking in a deep breath as you try to steady yourself.

you weren’t sure if it was because you were drunk, but the way that his face looks in the moonlight was so pretty. so you just had to tell him. leaning forward, you speak, almost a whisper, “you’re so handsome.” you drag your finger across the expanse of jungkook’s hand. “did you know i have no gag reflex?” you smile, not your typical sweet smile that he’s used to, but a devilish grin.

jungkook’s eyes widen, his cheeks flushing immediately at your remark. “alright, you drank way too much.” he takes the red cup from your hands, dumping it out onto the grass in front of you both.

“hey, i wasn’t done,” you pout, but jungkook didn’t give you much time to mourn your spilled drink before he was holding your arm, lifting you from the lawn chair you were sitting on. “where are we going?” you ask, trailing behind him with your hand in his.

“gonna get you some water and something to eat,” he answers. the two of you move through the house, jungkook pushes through groups of people and makes sure you’re safe behind him.

“i have to pee.” you tip toe to tell him your emergency in his ear. he stops at the stairs, knowing a bathroom where no one else goes. his friend specifically telling him to use that bathroom when they have parties because the other ones get way too gross.

he brings you up the stairs to the guest bedroom, opening the door to reveal one of the biggest rooms you’ve seen. “the bathroom is there,” jungkook points to the door on the left. you nod, your wobbly legs making their way to the toilet.

jungkook sits on the bed patiently, waiting for you to finish. he hears the flush and the sound of the sink running, the door opens and you’re coming out of the bathroom, pulling your dress down. “are we gonna have sex?” you utter, slurring the end of your sentence. your alcohol poisoned mind taking over your ability to speak.

his eyes widen at the question. “no! no— oh my god, this is just the room with the cleanest bathroom, we’re not—“

you’re next to him now, “you don’t want to?” you pout. glassy eyes looking into his.

“no! i mean, yes, i want to but— fuck, just— just not now, yeah?” jungkook stumbles over his words, his face blushing a blood red. your pretty face peering up at him makes him even more flustered, his hands start to sweat.

“okay,” you nodded. your drunken brain deciding to stop the interrogation of jungkook’s desire for you. to which jungkook lets out a sigh of relief, taking your hand and bringing you out of the room, down the stairs, and out into the driveway. he brings you to his car, opening the passenger door for you. “wait, are we leaving already? yugyeomie wants me to play beer pong with him,” you complain, wiggling your hand from his grasp.

goosebumps appear on your arm when you make it outside of the house. jungkook notices when he turns around to look at you. without a second thought, he takes his jacket off and places it over your shoulders. the newfound warmth shielding you from the cold night. he didn’t mind the breeze, especially since he was still recovering from the stunt you pulled in the guest room.

“we can come back later if you want, let’s just go grab something to eat first so you won’t regret this tomorrow morning.” his explanation is pretty solid according to your drunken brain, so you oblige, moving to sit in his passenger seat.

he joins you in the driver’s seat not long after. “can we get mcdonald’s?” you ask as soon as he sits down.

a smile appears on his face as he starts the car, “sure.”

the drive made you feel a little dizzy, it makes you laugh. “you okay?” jungkook asks, but you nod your head. he’s so sweet, always asking if you’re okay, making sure you weren’t feeling too awful, etc. it only makes sense that you were falling head over heels for him.

“totally fine,” you look over to him with a smile on your face. he’s so fucking pretty, his side profile is something you could rave about for days. as he’s pulling into the mcdonald’s drive through, he’s talking into the intercom, ordering the two of you something to eat when you’re suddenly mumbling, “mcflurry, kookie, oreo mcflurry.”

he looks back to you, an amused smile on his face, “oreo mcflurry?” he repeats. you nod, “okay, anything for you.”

he reiterates the request into the intercom and the server gives him the greenlight. he drives forward and waits until the next car moves up, in the time being, he looks to you. your head laying up against the door and your eyes slowly blinking, warning him that you might fall asleep. so he reaches into his backseat, his arm looking for the water bottles that he usually keeps in his car.

“hey,” he taps your arm gently, “drink some of this first.” he hands you the water bottle, you blink slowly, trying to figure out what he was handing you. once you realize it was a water bottle, you take it, opening it and gulping some of the water down. jungkook is grabbing the food when you’re screwing the cap back on. he parks somewhere in the parking lot and tells you to start eating.

you grab your mcflurry first, the feeling of the cold ice cream on your tongue soothing your dizzy brain. “yum,” you think out loud.

jungkook laughs, taking out his hamburger while he takes out your chicken nuggets. “make sure to eat some of this, yeah? don’t want you throwing up and hating me.”

the thought makes you smile. jungkook was taking such great care of you. sure, he let you down the alcohol like it was nothing, but you never opposed to it, always taking the shot because you wanted to. now jungkook is here, taking care of you, because he wanted to. you knew that if it were anybody else, they probably would have left you at the party, letting you fend for yourself. the sudden warmth in your chest makes you want to tell jungkook everything.

with his jacket wrapped around you instead of him, you can see the bulge of his arm muscles peek out from the short sleeved shirt he was wearing. even drunk, your brain seems to travel back to the images from your dream. “you know, i had a dream about you, a reeaaaallllllyyyyy dirty dream, jeon jungkook.” you blurt out the confession before your thoughts catch up with you, the alcohol still very much blocking off the common sense part of your brain.

he tries his best not to overreact, but you had a dream about him? a dirty dream at that? it awakens something in jungkook, but he pushes it down, ignoring the feeling as he asks, “you did? what was it about?” he curious as to what you meant and what your dream entailed, but he didn’t want to push too far. especially since you were drunk and most likely just spilling everything because your brain doesn’t have the willpower to hold it back.

you stick your hand into the bag to steal some fries, stuffing them in your mouth. “oh, you don’t wanna know,” you chew.

jungkook quirks a brow, “well, was i good at least?” he jokes.

you scrunch your nose, nodding nevertheless. “too good, couldn’t even focus during the quiz because of it.”

jungkook is silent for a second. the conversation making him hot even though he wasn’t wearing his jacket anymore. so he clears his throat, trying to change the subject in a subtle manner. “is that why you were so mean to me this morning?” he pouts, connecting the dots.

you laugh at the question, “sorry, i didn’t mean to, i swear.”

with that, the rest of the time is spent eating. jungkook makes sure that you ate enough and drank enough water, the empty water bottle in his cupholder as proof. “do you want me to take you home now?” he asks, the two of you finished eating and now a silence takes over the car.

“are you going back?” you ask, fiddling with your fingers. he thinks you’ve started to sober up, or maybe have gotten to the point where you just want to sleep.

he shakes his head to your question, “honestly, i’m kind of tired, but if you want to go back, we can go.”

“no, i’m okay,” you decline the offer. jungkook laughs, starting the car again and driving back to your apartment complex.

you take this time to try to get yourself together. you know you’ll regret confessing to jungkook that you had a wet dream about him in the morning. but in the moment, it felt right to confess, (to your drunken brain of course). you tilt your head back, pushing your head against the headrest, and suddenly, you’re reminded of the stars jungkook has on his ceiling. you were silent as you admired the lights, jungkook takes a look at you when he’s stopped at a red light.

so cute, he thinks, staring up at his ceiling like it’s the real night sky. when he pulls up to your apartment complex, he wishes the night could be longer, that he could spend more time with you. he parks the car in the front, exactly where he picked you up. you’re looking to him now, your hands in your lap and your heart seemingly beating three times as fast as it usually does. it wasn’t the alcohol.

“did you have fun tonight?” he asks. his voice never fails to make you melt.

you nod, “i did.”

“i’m glad,” he smiles. there’s a small silence before he speaks once more, “also, y’know, you don’t have to stress yourself out so much, i know you might have expectations for yourself and stuff, but you should give yourself a break from time to time.”

the alcohol’s effects fading slowly from your brain when you start to realize that the entire reason jungkook invited you out was to help you destress. it makes you fall even harder, he was so thoughtful. even though a party wasn’t your scene, he invited you to give you a glimpse into how he has fun and hoped that it would help you loosen up a bit. you were grateful for the mental break he provided you.

you didn’t reply, purely because you were thinking about how much you want to kiss him right now, but it wouldn’t be right. when he speaks up again, there’s a nervous lilt in his voice, scared that he’s overstepped. “if you need anyone to help you— i don’t know, let loose? you can— you can always call me.” he scratches the back of his neck.

but you try your best to reassure him, smiling at the offer. “i will, thank you for tonight, jungkook, i really enjoyed it, despite being a lightweight.”

he laughs, staring at the way your face cutely scrunches when you giggle. he too, is fighting the urge to kiss you, because right now isn’t a good time. he wants to do it right. he doesn’t want to fuck it up with you. so instead, he hops out of the car and moves to open the door for you. helping you out of the car and walking you to your door, your hand in his.

“i’ll see you in class?” you turn to face him, squeezing his hand.

he nods, “yeah.” his signature bunny smile coming out to greet you a goodnight. “text me before you sleep?” he requests. you give him a thumbs up before he’s letting go of your hand and you’re sticking the key into your door, it’s then that you realize that you’re still wearing his jacket.

“oh!” you exclaim, taking the jacket off and handing it to him. but he holds his hand out to stop you.

“keep it, you can give it to me the next time we hang out, or something,” he suggests. you try to hide the growing smile behind a nod.

you hold onto his jacket, “goodnight, jungkook.”

he sticks his hands in his pockets, sending you another grin, “goodnight, ___.”

jungkook drives home, his empty apartment welcoming him. he plops down onto his bed, not even bothering to change out of the clothes he was in because he was that tired. the events of today running through his mind.

he hopes you don’t think he was doing anything with those five girls. he saw you walk away when you did, he tried his best to escape the conversation, but they kept pulling him back. he gave up after ten tries of trying to get away, standing there for a good fifteen minutes listening to them babble about how much they missed him. jungkook had never rolled his eyes so many times in a conversation.

the talk the two of you had after was another thing taking over his mind. your dirty flirting and your dream you mentioned in the car had his imagination running all over the place. he didn’t want to push you when you explained, but he was very curious as to what he did in your dream, and how good it was for you to have it run through your mind all day.

his phone rings next to him. he turns and opens it, a smile on his face when he reads your message.

[12:32 am] you: hi jungkookieeeeeeeee

[12:33 am] you: im sleeping noww

[12:33 am] jungkook: alright cutie

[12:33 am] jungkook: goodnight! again 😂

[12:34 am] you: goodnight <3

he turns his phone off after that. looking up to his ceiling with a dumb smile on his face. his mind thinking of you and only you.

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puppypeter · 3 years

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Leg Day | 12157 words 🏋️‍♂️

“So talk to him,” Sam says.

“I can’t,” Bucky groans. “I can’t, Sam, I. He just.” He fluffs his hair up and stares at Sam, distraught. “I want him to bench press me.”

“Okay, so it’s serious,” Sam interprets. “Got it."

(Or: The one where Sam is Bucky's long-suffering roommate, Bucky is a hot mess of a millennial, and Hot Steve spends far too much time on the Lat Pull-Down machine.)

Love In Aisle Four | 2127 words 🛍️

When Bucky needs to swing by the supermarket after a long, hard day of work, the last thing he expects is to meet a cute grocery clerk named Steve…

Coming Up Easy | 45515 words ✍🏻

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

Anywhere The Wind Blows | 8845 words 👨‍🚒🎖️

After a catastrophic fire that shakes him to his core, Steve Rogers quits his job as a Brooklyn firefighter and relocates to a cabin in the remote Canadian wilderness, wanting quiet and solitude and to maybe never have to speak to another human being ever again. He gets his wish, more or less, until a recently injured Bucky Barnes is discharged from the Army and rents the cabin next door.

The Safer Course | 7918 words | Part 1 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

When Steve moves to the suburbs in 2033, he intends to retire from superhero life.

He does not intend to fall in love with his pain-in-the-ass neighbor.

Every Year I Have You | 7064 words | Part 2 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

Steve set the bar pretty high, as birthday presents go.

Bucky is determined to outdo him when July 4th comes around.

Beneath The Mistletoe | 21203 words 🎄

Bucky had a bet with his sister that if he didn’t have a boyfriend to bring home for Christmas by the time he was 25, he had to give her $200 and go blonde for a year. But now he's 25, it’s nearing December, and not only is Bucky as single as ever, but he’s also running low on cash. He doesn’t exactly want to bleach his hair, either.

At least Steve is willing to upgrade their relationship from best friends to fake boyfriends.

The Settler | 52203 words 🍞

“What do you want to do?”

Steve pauses and looks at them.

What he wants is to stay with them. He doesn't have any family left, they all died before he even joined the war and became... this. Captain America turned whatever he is now. But Natasha and Sam have become his family over the years. Not just because they're on the run together, fugitives and vigilantes, but way before that too.

He doesn't want to leave that.

But he knows that, realistically, he can't stay with them and they can't stay with him.

So he looks at them with a smile and lies. “I don't know.”

OR; In which Steve retires and finally finds a place to call home.

You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory | 1148 words 🐈

"Alright, Bucky," Steve slows his steps, watches his neighbour stop at the bottom of the next flight of stairs. There's a canvas bag in his hand that Steve didn't notice earlier, cream coloured with the figure of a sleeping, black cat painted on it. "Have a good day."

He thinks Bucky's cheeks pink up a bit right then and there, but Steve can't tell. He's too distracted by his pounding, foolish heart, by the way Bucky smiles bashfully, and ducks his head. The way he seems like he wants to stay.

To Believe In Tomorrow | 3959 words 👨🏻‍🌾

Bucky's mornings at the community garden get a little more interesting when the new guy shows up.

Maybe This Christmas | 24873 words | Part 1 of Maybe ❄️

Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

-----

Hurrying was a bad idea. Bucky’s foot hits a patch of ice and slides out from under him in what would have been a comical cartoon banana-peel-like trip, if it wasn’t happening to him, and he braces himself to hit the ground. This is going to hurt.

“Fuck,” Bucky screeches, but as he lands on his back, it’s not the cold hard concrete he expected, but a solid mass beneath him. Oh god, Bucky thinks as he realises he smacked into the person behind him and took them down with him.

Maybe This Year (Will Be Better Than Last) | 133868 words | Part 2 of Maybe ❄️

Last year, Bucky Barnes met Steve Rogers. Well actually, he slipped and fell on him. What followed was the best Christmas either of them had ever had. But what happens when Christmas is over and life returns to normal? What happens after the Christmas miracle?

-----

Bucky should have known. He did know. When things seem too good to be true, they usually are. And Steve is the best thing that has happened to him in a long time, possibly ever, so of course it couldn’t last.

Maybe This Time (I Hope I Get The Chance To Say Goodbye) | 34561 words | Part 3 of Maybe ❄️

Steve and Bucky Barnes are happily married. They've made it through some hard times and come out stronger and happier, together. Then Steve gets called on to come out of retirement for the most important mission of his life and everything changes. Everything.

-----

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas…” Steve starts singing along softly, and Bucky chuckles, before leaning his head onto Steve’s shoulder, always happy when he’s in Steve’s arms.

“From now on, our troubles will be miles away…” Bucky joins in.

Dancing round their living room, just as in love as ever, their troubles seem light-years away, if not non-existent.

Sadly, they’re closer than they think.

The Unexpected Gift | 9504 words | Part 1 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Steve Rogers is fine.

After ending a long-term relationship with Sam Wilson, Steve moves back to New York. He's tired and lonely but depressed? No. At least, that's what he thinks.

From the window of his apartment, he watches a dark-haired man and his service dog sitting in the park, wondering what his story is.

The Winter Storm | 2218 words | Part 2 of When Winter Comes 🐕

"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability you see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me."

After Bucky and Steve confessed their feelings for each other, life has its own twisted way to challenge the most profound love.

One January Night | 4213 words | Part 3 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Before going back to work, Steve Rogers still has things to learn: 1- Depression is a bitch and the battle against it isn't an easy one. 2- Dating a person with disabilities comes with its share of challenges.

Bucky Barnes Has His Shit Together (And Other Lies He Tells Himself) | 14159 words 🔒

You’d think a guy who owns one of the most successful bakeries in Brooklyn, has a million-dollar smile and that antiquated good ol’ boy charm, blond hair and blue eyes and biceps for days, would know what’s what.

But don’t let that fool you: Steve Rogers is a mess.

Obvious | 917 words ☕

"Oh, I have a prompt! So, it makes me laugh how painfully obvious Steve and Bucky's feelings are to everyone when they're in that pining, slowburn, does-he-doesn't-he phase. But imagine Steve and Bucky working in a coffee shop together and constantly bickering, nudging and playfully flirting with each other. And all the employees and patrons are so invested in their relationship and just want them to kiss already but no one realizes that Steve and Bucky have been married since they got out of HS."

#stucky #steve rogers/bucky barnes #bucky barnes/steve rogers #stucky fics #stucky fic #stucky fic rec #stucky fic recs #stucky fics rec #stucky fics recs #stucky fan fiction #stucky fiction #stucky ao3 #stucky complete #stucky au #adorable stucky fics

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spookiekewchie · 3 years

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Don’t Play (part iii)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Characters: Angel Reyes x woc!reader

Summary: A party, some drama, an apology, some tension, and a moment.

Word Count: 4k+

Warnings: More raunchy language, cursing in general, suggestive moments, some tension. A touch of angst, mention of a toxic ex. Also Angel’s POV for a hot couple seconds.

A/N: Part three of whatever it is that this mess is turning out to be lmao. There will be a part four to this. If there’s any errors or typos my bad, I gave it a look over before posting but I probably missed something knowing me. Graphic by me, and the divider are by @firefly-graphics

DO NOT repost or translate my work anywhere. Reblogs are always welcome, and let me know that you enjoy my fics.

“Let me get this straight,” Coco started, pausing to puff on his cigarette for a moment as he looked over at Angel. “You want me to invite Tasha to the party, so she can bring your girl?” Was this fucking highschool? What kind of pass the note type of shit was Angel trying to pull.

“Look man, I want her to come to the party, you know, let her see me in my element.” Angel explained, rubbing a hand at the back of his neck. “But kou know damn well if I ask her myself she’s gonna have some smartass comment and an excuse why she can’t come to the party. And if you ask her then she’s going to know that you’re asking for me. She’s fucking smart man, she’ll see through that shit.” Coco was starting to see where Angel was going with this now, and it almost amused him to know that Angel had neve worked this hard to get a girl to come around him before. “If you ask Tasha and tell her to bring some friends, then it’ll just look like you’re finally manning up and asking her out, and one of those friends is sure to be Y/N because Tasha is her best fucking friend.” The fact that Angel had even paid enough attention to put this scheme together and that it actually wasn’t that ridiculous and had a good chance of working spoke to just how much he was really feeling you.

Normally he wouldn’t have bothered, but dammit if there wasn’t something about you that had him going as far to scheme just to get you to a damn party.

It was you and a couple of girls from the bar that had decided to go to the party. Well, more like Tasha threatened to kidnap you and make you go if you even thought about saying no. So there you were standing beside Tasha in her bathroom inspecting the outfit she’d insisted that you wear. A pair of tight high waisted shorts that made your ass poke out even more, and the top well that was a cropped halter that forced you to go braless for the night. Turning this way and that in the mirror you gave a sigh of consideration at your outfit choice. You weren’t doing it up to the nines, but you were still dressed to catch someone’s attention. A certain six foot three Mayan who you were getting a little too fond of.

“You think Angel is gonna be there?” You questioned absently, instantly regretting it when you caught the look that Tasha shot your way in the mirror.

“I’m pretty sure he’s going to be there, and I’m guessing that’s why you wore your man catching shorts.” Tasha replied, calling you out. She wasn’t wrong, these shorts had never failed you and the fact that you were about to sashay your ass right into the Mayan’s clubhouse wearing them meant only one thing. You wanted Angel’s attention, and you wanted to make him sweat a little while you were at it.

You couldn’t even justify yourself against that, and the only response was a roll of your eyes as you applied your lip gloss and finished primping for the night.

Before you knew it you were in the front seat of Tasha’s car, laughing and chopping it up with your girls and the trip to the Mayan’s clubhouse went by faster than expected. Looking out the window your brow quirked up a little higher, not sure what you were expecting from a Biker clubhouse or how many people would actually be there. You don’t stress on it though, doing a final check in the visor mirror and ignoring the teasing from your girl’s about making sure you were looking good for Angel. The second your strappy stiletto heeled feet touch the ground you could feel eyes on you and your group, a few wolf whistles coming from different directions sounded and all four of you could only roll your eyes at the attention as your small group headed for the main building.

The second you enter your eyes scanned the place, easily finding the person you were looking for leaned up against the wall. And of course there was some groupie practically hanging off of him as he barely engaged in the conversation. You didn’t make a move towards him, instead following Tasha over to where she spied Coco playing cards. All the while you kept sight of Angel from the corner of your eyes, curious at how he’d behave with a groupie practically throwing herself at him. All in all he seemed uninterested, and distracted. Every now and then glancing up as if he were looking for someone. Was he looking for you? It was a question that you didn’t get to wonder about for too long before some guy approached you and got too close for comfort.

“Damn girl, that ass is looking fat. How about you and me go find somewhere private and get to know each other better?”

Oh hell no.

“How about you learn the difference between a god damn groupie and an invited guest.” Came the rasp of Angel’s voice from behind you, his response effectively saving the idiot from the verbal dragging that you were about to unleash. Whoever the man was he seemed to know better than to fuck with Angel and instead waved the two of you off and stumbled his way elsewhere. “You uh, you just getting here?” He questioned, eyes diverting to you once the nuisance was far enough away.

“We got here about ten minutes ago.”

“So you just been in here this whole time and you ain’t come find me? I’m hurt, ma.” Angel shook his head, lifting a hand to his heart as if he were truly wounded. “Especially when you lookin’ that good.” His bottom lip caught between his teeth for a moment and you swore you felt something fluttering in your stomach. “Imma be chasing these fools off all night.”

That earned him an eye roll and a kiss of your teeth as you shook your head, but the laugh on your lips gave away just how much you weren’t hating that thought. Regardless, you were a mere second away from reminding the Mayan that he wasn’t your man when a voice called out to Angel.

And then blonde hair suddenly whipping into your face as the same groupie from earlier appeared in front of you.

She’s not coming. Angel thought, eyes flicking over to the door that led out to the lot. Nah, Coco said Tasha was going to make sure she came to the party tonight. He thought a second later, restlessly tapping his finger against the beer bottle in his hands.

“Right, baby?” The whiny voice of the cheap dyed-blonde groupie that’s been latched onto him since he showed up cut through his thoughts. God he wished she would just shut the fuck up. Angel wasn’t even listening to what this girl was saying, much less interested in fucking her like she was clearly hoping for.

“Yeah, right.” He replied absently, lifting the beer bottle to his lips to take another drink as his eyes scanned the room again. Damn, still not here. He thought, not realizing that he just missed you walking in a minute ago. It wasn’t until he heard the drunk hangaround telling someone that they had a fat ass that he looked up. That got his attention, at the very least he’d get a laugh out of watching the idiot get shot down. The girl’s were up for grabs for any of the MC, but hangarounds? Nah they didn’t have to give them the time of day.

Only problem was the girl this hangaround was trying to make a move on was Y/N. “Damn.” Angel muttered, setting his half empty beer aside and dismissing the blonde groupie with a haphazard wave as he told her to go get him another drink. Something she happily rushed off to do, and it gave the man the perfect opportunity to make his way over to where you were seconds away from giving the idiot a piece of your mind.

He didn’t give you the chance, no way was Angel going to let you be harassed while he was around. Soon enough the hangaround was retreating, and he was able to fully focus on you. And focus he did, eyes raking over you as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Those shorts, he was going to have to figure out a way to get you to not wear those if he wasn’t around because the way they had your ass sitting...shit if it hadn’t been for him pretty much making the other guys swear they wouldn’t make a move on you he was sure that he’d have some competition right about now. Angel was fully prepared to keep on admiring, eyes shamelessly taking you in.

That was until the blonde groupie made her reappearance and in a show of petty disrespect purposefully flicked her cheaply dyed blonde locks into your face as he stood directly in front of you as if you weren’t there talking to Angel. “Here you go baby, I got that beer you asked for.”

You could tell from the look on Angel’s face that he was not amused or impressed. In fact the man looked downright irritated that this tacky bitch had interrupted your conversation. You on the other hand were pissed that this trick was trying to pretend that she didn’t see you standing there, and had the nerve to flip her damn hair in your face. Also that she was trying to run interference between you and Angel.

“Oh thank you, I didn’t know the clubhouse had bottle service. If y’all got any Hennessey back there I’d love a bottle.” You chimed, stepping around the groupie and plucking the bottle of beer right from her hand as you moved to stand right between her and Angel. If you weren’t feeling so petty you might have just stepped to the side, but no. You had to beat this bitch at her own game and now you were standing there with Angel close enough behind you that you could feel him pressed up against your ass. Clearly he wasn’t complaining, and you were pretty sure you could hear a chuckle coming from above your head.

“Who the fuck do you think you are!?” The blonde scoffed, not taking the hint or simply thinking there was a chance for her.

“I’m thinking I’m the person that just spared you, but if you wanna keep trying me I have no problem dragging your ass outside by those cheap ass extensions and whupping yo ass into next week.” You couldn’t see it, but somehow you knew Angel was behind you sporting a proud smile. As for the others around you, apparently you’d drawn a small crowd who were hoping to see two women go at it. Unfortunately the blonde gave up, and backed off with a huff. “That’s what I thought, skank.” You spat out, earning a few chuckles before the party resumed as if nothing had just happened. Now you just had to deal with the man standing behind you grinning like he knew something that you didn’t.

“You don’t gotta fight over me, mi dulce. I wasn’t even checking for that girl.” Angel said, acting as if he were talking to a possessive girlfriend. Which...you were definitely not. You were not his girlfriend.

“Oh please, that was not about you. That was me letting these bitches know I’m not the one to play with.” You told him with a scoff, waving him off as you turned around to shove the bottle of beer into his hands with a huff. Shit, you really just showed your possessive side for this man. This was quickly becoming a problem, you aren’t trying to be this man’s old lady. At least that was what you kept telling yourself as a means to convince you that Angel was just the homie, just a friend that you flirted with and said things to that you would never say to someone who was just a friend. Okay maybe you liked Angel more than as just a friend, but that didn’t change the fact that you were still reeling from the aftermath of a toxic relationship with a controlling man that still had you resistant to entertaining another relationship just yet. “I’m gonna go get a drink, and find Tasha.” The sudden shift in your mood was noticed almost immediately by Angel, but you didn’t give him a chance to question it before you were walking off and despite your words you didn’t get another drink. You went outside, needing some fresh air and a moment to think.

“I knew you’d come crawling back.” You shuddered involuntarily, the phrase bringing back bad memories.

“Ugh, not you again. Shouldn’t you be kissing some biker’s ass right about now and not getting on my last damn nerve?” You spat, it was the same asshole from earlier that Angel had chased off except now he was definitely drunk. You knew because when he grabbed you the strong smell of beer on his breath almost knocked you on your ass. “Hey, get the fuck off of me!” Now he was really bringing back bad memories. Your ex used to act like this, pushy, and controlling. Always wanting what he wanted when he wanted with no care about how you felt or what you wanted. Your stomach flipped in the worst way, panic rising as you tried to yank yourself free of the drunk’s grip.

For a moment the fear that he’d drag you off somewhere before someone noticed what was going on filled your mind. Then in the next second the man was on the ground, dirt flying up in a small cloud as Angel came flying out of the clubhouse and laid the man out with a thunderous punch. The beating he doled out was vicious, and it just added to the irrational panic that had hit you.

“Angel, Angel! Stop!”

“Fuck this asshole, he’s fucking dead.” He spat, and you swear you’d never seen Angel this pissed off before. In a normal situation it wouldn’t have bothered you, but in the mind state you were currently in it was too much.

“Please, just stop. Fucking stop it!” You caught his arm in the air, and you were thankful that he was at least mindful of his surroundings to not follow through lest he pull you right off balance in the heels you were wearing.

“Get this bitchass out of here. And I better not see his ass around here again.” He fumed, and just like that the drunk, and now battered hangaround was being dragged off to who knew where as Angel turned his attention onto you. “Are you okay?”

“What the fuck was that, Angel!?”

He recoiled at your accusatory tone, and in the moment you knew you were in the wrong for snapping at him when he’d done nothing wrong.

“Just...don’t touch me, I’m fucking fine.” You snapped again, moving away when he went to reach out to you. Angel recoiled again, confusion, and hurt swimming in his gaze, and you hated that you were too deep into this to pull yourself out and just talk to him. Instead you started walking, pulling your phone out of your purse and scrolling through the apps.

“Where the hell are you going, Y/N?”

“I’m calling an Uber, I’m going home.”

Angel rushed forward, putting himself in your path with his hands raised in surrender to let you know that he wasn’t about to try touching you again. “Don’t do that, let me have EZ take you home.” You didn’t say anything, eyes still downcast as they lingered on your phone screen. “Please? Just...look, I don’t know what I did to piss you off, but I don’t want you leaving by yourself and having to worry about if you got home safe. Let me just go get my brother to give you a ride. Okay?” He paused, bending down a little look at you as you nodded reluctantly. The rational part of you recognized that he was right, it was safer letting EZ drive you home than some stranger on a rideshare app. It only made you kick yourself more as Angel led you over to a small group of people to wait while he went inside and got his brother. It only took a few minutes, and when Angel returned with his brother in tow he didn’t say much beyond letting you know that he told Tasha you were getting a ride home because you weren’t feeling well.

Then he left, looking like a man that had just had his hopes crushed as he stalked back inside and left you with a confused EZ to drive you home.

After the incident at the party you hadn’t seen Angel again, and now it was going on two weeks. You’d had time to calm down, and realize that you owed him an apology at the very least. You’d snapped at him, and treated him poorly and he still had the decency to respect your wishes while making sure you got home safely. Things he wasn’t obligated to do but had done without hesitation, he was a good man and clearly there was more to him than the flirt you’d grown accustomed to. Unfortunately he never came around to give you the chance to say any of that. The other guys made their appearances at the bar, chatted with you and kept things light but you could tell that they were curious about what happened. They didn’t ask though, it wasn’t their business. It wasn’t until EZ came in one night that you finally asked him what was up with Angel, he hadn’t come by and no one seemed willing to tell you what was going on with him. EZ just sighed and did his best to explain.

“I don’t know what happened, he won’t talk about it. I just know he’s hurt by whatever happened, been glowering and moody ever since.” He had explained and damn did that make you feel bad. “I know it’s not my place, but I think you should talk to him.”

If only it was that easy. In the end you ended up giving EZ your number and told him to make sure Angel got it along with the message that you wanted him to call you.

Another two days passed, and Angel hadn’t called. At that point you were sure that he was done with you, and really you couldn’t blame him.

That was the thought running through your mind as you stood inside Carnicería Reyes thankful that Felipe was observant enough to avoid the subject of Angel when he noticed the slight drop in your smile at the initial mention of the Mayan. All you wanted was to get the steak you had come for, and get out of there. Sweet as Felipe always was to you, he was still Angel’s father and that was enough of a reminder of how much you had fucked up what could have at least been a good friendship.

Imagine your surprise when the sound of a motorcycle approached and stopped outside the shop. Fuck. It was Angel. You approached the counter, peering over it to see what was taking Felipe so long to get your steak prepared and wrapped when the sound of the bell over the shop’s door rang.

“Hey pop, EZ said you needed to see me?” Angel’s voice shouldn’t have sent a thrill through you the way it did, but after not hearing it for exactly two weeks and two days you had to admit that you had missed the sound of it. Damn bitch, you got it bad. You thought to yourself as you watched Felipe turn around and give his son an almost convincing look of confusion.

“No, I'm good. But since you’re here, can you keep Y/N company while I get her order?” He framed it as a question, but before Angel could even speak the man was walking off to the back of his shop. Meanwhile you were standing there in confusion, trying to figure out what he had been doing for the past fifteen minutes while you waited on the steak you thought he was getting for you. Clearly the old man was more cunning than you expected, because clearly he had set you up and now you were standing there awkwardly wondering what the fuck you were supposed to do in this situation.

Thankfully Angel broke the silence first. “Hey.” That was all he said, but that was all you needed to finally turn around and look at him. God you hated this, it was so far from your usual demeanor around him but you truly felt so bad for how things had gone that night that it had you all out of sorts.

“I’m sorry.” You blurted out, watching as the man’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment. “The night of the party I freaked the fuck out on you, and you didn’t deserve that.” You explained, and you could damn near see the wheels turning in his head as he nodded.

“Nah it’s cool, it’s whatever.” His reply didn’t make you feel any better, clearly he still had some reservations.

Dammit this man was really about to make you use your words.

“It’s not cool, Angel. I wasn’t even upset with you, you didn’t do anything.” You explained, and that seemed to get his attention, and brow raising as if to say ‘well then what the fuck were you upset about’. You sighed, hand raising to brush an errant curl from your face. “That guy, the one you beat up, he did some shit that triggered me and I just couldn’t deal with it in the moment.”

That seemed to make him relax, a look of understanding seeming to flit over his features as he took a tentative step closer to where you stood. “I got an ex that left some bad memories, that controlling, entitled shit that the idiot pulled that night just-” You didn’t finish the explanation, just shaking your head with a roll of your eyes and bitter laugh.

“I thought I scared you.” Angel admitted after a beat of silence, and then it was your turn to look confused. “After you saw me kick the shit out of that fucker, I thought you were scared of me and that was why you freaked out.” You laughed suddenly at the admission from Angel, not mocking or teasing, but almost as if there was an inside joke that only you were privy to.

“God no, honestly in any other situation I would have probably been into it knowing that you were willing to beat a guy's ass over me.” Now he realized what was so funny to you, and that he really hadn’t done anything wrong that night. It was enough to bolster the man to take a few more long strides in your direction until he was close enough to tip your chin up to meet his gaze.

“Still am.” He confirmed, the raspy timbre of his voice dropping an octave. That had your pussy fluttering, and it seemed just like that you and Angel were picking up where you left off. Maybe you should be thanking Felipe for meddling.

“Behave, we’re in your dad’s shop.” You told him, shaking your head with a barely contained smile on your lips that only seemed to make Angel grin in return.

“Yeah we are. What are you getting?”

“Steak.”

“You planning on inviting me to dinner?”

Angel’s question had you scoffing and rolling your eyes in disbelief as you took a step away from him to peer over the counter to try and see just where Felipe had disappeared to. “I can’t cook for you.”

The Mayan tipped his head to one side, a look of amused confusion on his face as he regarded you curiously. “Why the fuck not? I like to eat.”

Ah there he was, the cheeky Angel that you had grown fond of. “If I cooked for you, then you’d be trying to marry me.” You told him, causing the man to raise a brow as if to say ‘oh really’. “And I’m still not even sure you can handle my ass.” You added, not one to miss a chance to be a smartass around him. By the time you turn your head to shoot a sly smirk his way, Angel was already closing in on you and before you knew it he had you backed into a wall with a look in his eyes that clearly spelled trouble.

“You and that slick mouth are gonna find out just how well I can handle your ass if you don’t stop playin.” Angel’s words had heat rushing straight to your core, walls clenching at the thought of it.

A loud bang coming from behind the counter had you jumping slightly, not expecting Felipe to be standing there wrapping your steak finally. “Not in my shop, you won’t.” He said, causing a puff of laughter to escape Angel as he backed off you with a smirk that said he knew he’d be proving himself sooner rather than later. Stopping on his way out, he threw a bill down onto the counter and instructed his father to give you the change. Felipe of course would hear nothing of you paying for your own steak, leaving you to accept the change from Angel’s money.

It was later in the evening as you ate dinner that your phone went off with a notification of a new text message from none other than your favorite Mayan.

#angel reyes x woc!reader #angel reyes x black!reader #angel reyes x woc #angel reyes reader #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fic #woc!reader #black!reader #trilla writes

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smndragon · 3 years

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GODS AND HOW THEY AFFECT PEOPLE PT 2

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOYED IM SO TIRED

Okay, so we established this is a possibility that they associate and gift their talents and eyes to people living. If you haven't seen that post it's on my master list/pinned post.

Gotta thank @i-would-marry-thunderhead though they didn't try they helped me find a missing piece on what I was looking for.

More thanks to @medusa12346 and @tulatodivine for helping me find the click to read more thing, I'm new so😶

It's not random. As planets rule zodiacs, it's know some gods rule them, and it's not just planets as not all mythology and religion is based on planetary stuff. For example, if Ares rules mars and Mars rules Aries. People with Aries in their chart are gifted some of the small things Ares has.

So here are the planets and what they rule along with some things the gods may gift you Greek and Roman style. If you would like other gods please ask I'm not well versed in many others it's been a while since I've researched.

Links (minor searching sorry it's late I also may have to finish readings tommorow though I do have to go somewhere so sorry): Wikipedia gods and planets ruling with this link there is also more religions and gods with planets so if you're interested look into it.

More on the planets and gods in longer versions

What zodiacs the planets rule

Let me clarify Wikipedia is not always trustworthy but my research will be short tonight.

Preferably they will be within the big 3 but there are also minor things to look into I can't remember all of a sudden I REMEMBER

Basically depending on if it's the sun, moon, or ascendant. These emotions could come out at certain times or moments

SUN:

Apollo seems to be talked about with the sun but it also looked like Helios was the main with Apollo helping out at times or more often so they'll both be here ig: like said they rule the sun and the sun rules Leo (guessed it lol ily guys) some gist given to you Leo charted people you may be gifted with the ability to partially know if something is a 'yes or no' you may get deja Vu at times as signs from Apollo. You are also of course gifted with the ability to look good in gold. Other things could be his beauty, tanned skin, gut senses, nice legs, running and etc I can't remember

From Helios you may be gifted with good sight and vision, strong feet I feel idk?, And so far strong connection to growing things (will maybe add more if found)

OKAY this is gonna be a while.

MOON:

Artemis and Selene (of course her) rule over the moon which rules over Cancer. Possible talents and gifts are animal connections, animal eyes watching over you as companions, medical knowledge, natural medicines also, Excellence in athletics Kirk archery and stuff to do with jumping.

Selene gifts you oohhh it's possible you could slide some Helios gifts here to because they're siblings apparently. I see youth, strong arms, strength (not overboard remember), elegant style in clothing, and the moons watch during the night.

To clarify, there also things to think of like planet aspects and fuck the numbers the tilt or some shit uhyy yeah that will tell how strong these abilities may be.

MERCURY: all this got deleted guys ughhh

Hermes rules mercury which is both surprising and not. Mercury rules Gemini and Virgo (who is also associated with Chiron). Possible gifts include running, determination, medium abilities (determined by what I stayed above also on strength), probably funny ass jokes. Fly, you're just gonna be fly af. Hermes was a very important god to me, he also signifies glory, domination, and success full filled to me so yeah. The ability to soother the people around you with either your voice or your touch, clear or nice voice.

VENUS: WHY ARE THERE 3 HERE?!!??!? I wanted to include the goddess Venus but we'll see😭

Aphrodite rules Venus understandably, Venus rules Taurus and Libra I believe. Possible talents and gifts are of course beauty, loved eyes, this so kind weird but musical talent, telepathy (little), birds as helpers (as in messengers to the clouds or many realms), possible skill for design.

I saw a name called cypris but I'm not sure that's true I looked into it just a bit and found someone named Cypress I don't know if they're related but I believe it's possible? Other names are Cyparissus or Kyparissos. They were liked or loved by Apollo. It's not big but what I read was interesting.

There was also a Cytherea, this was probably an alias or second name given or that of Aphrodite, knowing this there was also a place called Cyprus which leads me to believe Cypris was another alias or typo.

MARS:

As talked about before. Most of us know they rules over Mars, mars rules over Aries. Possible gifts could include determination (he may have been a little cowardly which makes sense as an Aries sun with my shyness), strength, talent in art or drawing idk why I just feel that, piano (also applies to Sagittarius ppl honestly), understanding languages also possibly? Crafty with tools and objects, tactic smart in small ways.

JUPITER:

I saw the name Dias which I wasn't sure on, Dias I believe is another alias and modern name for Zeus. Zeus rules Jupiter and Jupiter rules Sagittarius so thats also no surprise. Gifts and talents may be swimming, science, young literature and old, an eye for good things, blessings through touch (more on a topic I'll bring up later not strong here), dancing, hunting, generosity, a promise of children. I feel many people with Zeus or Ares in their chart may have been accused as witches in those centuries. (Random) that'd all I get right now

FOUR MORE

SATURN:

It said Cronus, I knew him as chronos (hit chronological order) which may have been wrong. He can go by that cronos, or kronos. He rules Saturn and Saturn rules Capricorn which also is understandable with relations between them. Talents and gifts may include: I feel like y'all may have thought you were telekinetic when you were younger💀, I see ginger hair here also, sticky fingers (stealth), time control (as in good with keeping time on track), perception of lies (the man was fooled right? True but I feel it's still smth small), faithfulness (also crazy uh), a gift of great smell, good taste in food choices, I feel like he raised a bunch of hand holders 💕💕 idk why I just do. That's all here

URANUS:

It says Ouranos which makes me think of Ouran highschool host club for some reason, I really would like a season 2. But it's funny cause I didn't know him and he seems pretty interesting though it seems like a minor role if he's the heavens personified that's some big stuff. He rules Uranus which rules Aquarius, possible talents and gifts could be (BLINDING LIGHTS IS PLAYING THIS IS GOOD UGHH I LOVE THIS SONG) alright back to it. Talents like, singing, clairaudience, intuitiveness, a love for curiosity and knowledge, liked skin and proportions, natural attraction, believable, natural leader when younger though maybe not as grown idk.

NEPTUNE:

Of course ruled by Poseidon. Idk why I still add the planets it's the thing above🤦🏽‍♀️ I just make this harder on myself. Neptune rules Pisces. Gifts and talents could be creativity, building, imagination, pull towards earth, swimming, attraction to people also (in a way that your looks capture people as Pisces is beautifully soft), strong senses of the eyes and ears, technology, either quiet or loud voice.

PLUTO:

The official one for Greeks is Hades, there was a name before called Plouton or Ploútōn another name for Hades. Pluto rules Scorpio, also guessed. Gifts and talents may be excelling in curricular concepts like philosophy, leadership (you guys can lead double lives but you're good rulers ngl kinda manipulative at them tho), you guys could probably background check me through connections with ppl lol, people confide in you often this is good cause I feel you feel loved by this, risk takers (Hades is kinda 'out of the circle' which leads to thoughts that Scorpios like to explore and be chaotic because of this at times they're finally free on earth), down to earth or way up high one way or another no in-between, natural ideas that people can't help but fall for, the ability to be unnoticed when wanted, stealthy, quick under pressure. you guys make this world more enjoyable over all there's not much ik you guys are just amazing to me for some reason.

END

that's all there but more to add on are things like blood line theory, if you are a natural descendant of a god (not by literal blood just chosen exactly by them) then there's a chance your abilities will be stronger and you will make a more greater imprint on the world. Not all of these were used for good. They cna be used to any advantage.

I believe asteroids also have something to do with the gods so if you would like to hear something on that please ask!

All in all this post took about 2 hours and 30 mins or close which isn't bad. Sorry if anything was missed and please share your ideas on this I love hearing them!

Coming back to say I'm surprised Hera wasn't here I was looking forward to her

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shihalyfie · 2 years

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@charlotteckt replied to your post:

I feel like for Xros Wars especially the dub is more of a novelty than anything to most older fans.

Pretty much. I don’t think I personally know anyone who’s seen Fusion but hasn’t seen Xros Wars (especially since Hunters never got dubbed here). And to be fair, that one in particular practically checked off all the boxes to rub modern adult anime fans the wrong way -- sloppy typos everywhere, censorship not only on designs but also thinking Taiki’s backstory of a kid getting gravely ill was still too much, and scriptwriting that worked way better in the 90′s than it did in 2013. (Actually, I’m not really sure if it was that much more off-the-rails than Adventure and 02′s dubs were in this regard, but either way, trying to do that again in 2013 when the nostalgia factor won’t save them and the rest of the dubbing industry has moved on is a terrible look.)

I think in the end most hardcore Digimon fans want to see content as soon as it drops, so the fact that we haven’t had a dub produced near-simultaneously with the Japanese version since Frontier means the fanbase is usually going to watch in Japanese out of impatience, and the only ones watching an English dub had to have come in late, or have a high amount of dub loyalty in general, or have accessibility issues -- all that in an environment where it’s gotten more normalized for adult anime fans to watch things in Japanese. So chances are, most hardcore fans have already seen it in Japanese by the time its dub has dropped, and so to be a dub watcher for those you’d have to not only have liked the new content enough to want to watch it again from scratch, you’d also have to be enough of a dub enthusiast to make that commitment, and I don’t think that percentage of hardcores is particularly high -- much less high enough to make dub changes dominate fan discourse. And then on top of that Hunters and Cyber Sleuth and Appmon didn’t get dubbed (and I’m pessimistic about the reboot and Ghost Game’s chances), so after a certain point being into this franchise hard enough means you are going to have to be willing to look into media with Japanese audio.

I haven’t kept close tabs on the tri. and Kizuna dubs, but I definitely know the percentage of people who watched those dubbed (in general, regardless of language) is much lower in the hardcore fanbase than you’d think, especially since Adventure and 02 ought to be the ones people would most die on a hill about watching it in a way to match the childhood experience as closely as possible. (Ironically, this is actually easier to do in most dubs than it is for Japanese fans, where the entire human cast was swapped out, and I’ve legitimately heard of Japanese fans refusing to watch tri. or Kizuna from this factor alone.) But I noticed the majority of people who went for those without even touching the Japanese version were casual fans, who presumably kept sales up enough to keep justifying producing them, but were the type to vaguely jump in whenever they saw a Digimon thing and go back to other things once they were done. So among the hardcore fanbase, and its resulting fan discourse, I think even those dubs are basically something more for enthusiasts and people with particularly high attachment than they are anything that dominates the discussion compared to the Japanese version.

But yeah, on the flip side, the Japanese versions of Adventure through Frontier didn’t start getting properly subbed until around 2009-2012, so that’s around a decade of time where the American English dub was the main fallback for Western English speakers in fandom, and even those who were interested in it in Japanese couldn’t look into it if they wanted to. So that was around a decade for the Japanese version to be the comparatively obscure thing while a lot of confusing discourse about what came from what and misleading info was swirling around, and once that had a decade to make its mark on fans, it’s basically become impossible to fully get rid of all the preconceived notions it established (like the idea that the Adventure/02 dubs allegedly didn’t change anything significant still being a fallacy that’s treated like truth in this day and age). Probably not helped by the fact the legal availability of Adventure through Frontier's Japanese versions still isn’t great outside Japan, whereas at least Xros Wars and after are on Crunchyroll for various regions. I think fansubs have now been around for long enough that more and more people are starting to get into the Japanese version -- back when they were still new it was almost impossible for me to carry on conversations with very many fellow English speakers about the Japanese version because of how derailed the argument would get, but nowadays it’s easier to find people who know what you mean -- but it’s only going up very slowly, and I'm personally more interested in getting the discourse around it to be less confusing than I really expect that many more people to watch it in Japanese.

#shiha's ask box #charlotteckt #digimon multi series talk

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writefightandflightclub · 3 years

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You are my Sunshine (Finn x Poe x polyamorous! GN reader)

Summary: This is a quick lil bonus fic (in response to an ask from @bookbandobssessed) for Indivisible, which is a super fluffy Finn x Poe x Reader polyamory story. The series is completed and has 4 parts, but this could probably be read as a stand-alone if you like! :o)

Finding time for two cute boyfriends in the midst of a war is hard, but you know one thing for sure. It’s worth it.

Author’s note: hi :) drink some water!

Warnings: This ends up pretty angsty but nothing bad actually happens. I promise. Mentions of making-out. Actual kissing. Posting this late, sorry if there are a ton of typos. I don’t have time to check!

GIF: by @pantherdolphin

It’s very distracting.

And it’s very hard to achieve time management befitting your Commander station when you have not one, but two perfect boyfriends.

In the middle of a war, especially, it’s not easy. You make time for each other when you can, during breaks, or by bartering extra hours for aligned rotas to appease the General. You often help each other to get tasks finished earlier so you can enjoy the downtime as a trio or a pair, depending on who’s on base.

Sometimes it’s easier. Sometimes, you’re all off-rota at the same time, and you can spend all day in bed, or can arrange a simple date like a cute picnic or - if you’re really lucky, a jaunt off-planet.That time Poe flew you and Finn to see the ocean was a particular favourite.

Often though, it’s hard. It’s hard when you’re all flung to different corners of the galaxy for your respective missions. It’s hard when just two of you are left behind to fret about the other. It’s hardest, when one of you is left behind, to fret without any chance of comfort, and no-one to hold you in the night when the bad dreams come.

However, despite the challenges -and sometimes the arguments, when the tensions of the war find some way to leak out- you wouldn’t change this for the world, because it’s worth it. It’s worth all the extra effort, because of the extra love you are able to give, and to receive in return.

This time though, you are finding it especially hard, because while Finn and Poe’s rotas are aligned this week, you happen to be picking up extra as you rigorously prepare your squadron for a high-stakes mission.

During times like this, you have to take what you can get. Squeeze your love into the cracks. Luckily, Poe is particularly good at squeezing things in. He’s a definite fan of quick make-out sessions, and although he’s not as surreptitious as he thinks -the whole base knows to avoid supply closet 7- he’s usually stealing either you or Finn (or you and Finn) for a sneaky fumble. You’re learning that while he typically likes to take his time, the pilot can be... ahem... surprisingly efficient in making it worth stepping away from your duties.

This week though, you have simply been too busy, and you are getting tired of seeing Poe steal Finn away. It’s your own fault. You had denied all their very persistent and earnest offers of help - they deserved their rest after a heavy month and you wanted to make sure they made the most of it. But, you can’t deny that while you refuse to participate in their closet dalliances, you have some serious FOMO.

Plus, you know exactly what Poe is doing. He’s been trying to entice you to join them for the past few days.

This time, he really goes for it. He tugs Finn into him for an open-mouthed kiss across the hangar, making sure you see his tongue slip into Finn’s mouth, pink and glistening. You feel it from both sides. You feel his tongue as though he is slipping into you. As though your tongue is writhing against Finn’s. You watch Finn’s hands skim down to Poe’s ass and grab, and again, it could be Finn’s hands on you, or the meat of Poe beneath your touch.

It’s not as though you’re happy about missing out. But you can’t. You can’t step away.

Poe looks at you hopefully as he breaks from the kiss, but you shake your head gently in apology. Finn throws you a helpless look too, his eyes soft with empathy, but you still have to watch them both walk away as the General grabs you for yet another dry-run of this mission. Still, you try to remember to be happy for them too, and for this rare time they get to spend with one another.

To everyone’s surprise, it’s not you who is called away first though. It is Finn. A new piece of intel pops up, and he and Rey are selected to head an urgent mission up. It happens so suddenly that he is swept away before even you or Poe have a chance to say goodbye.

Still, despite your concern for him, you have no choice but to press on with your duties. There’s too much at stake.

Of course though, you can’t help but worry about your boys. About Finn and whether he will be safe. About Poe, who now has an abundance of downtime to occupy on his lonesome.

What’s worst though, is the unsnatched chances. Now, when you glance across the hangar, you see an apparition of Poe and Finn beckoning you to them, and -oh boy- you wish you had joined them, while you still could. You wish you had held Finn as tightly as possible.

So, it’s fair to say that your distress and your worry and your regret -along with your nerves for your forthcoming mission- are weighing heavy on you, and what’s more, others around base are beginning to notice. You’re even snapping at your squad - a lot more than usual.

At one point in the day, when you’re not sure you can take anymore, Poe’s hand serendipitously appears on your shoulder just when you need it, giving you a gentle squeeze.

“Hey, go easy, Sunshine,” he says gently, and you turn in the direction of his warm, sandy voice. “They’re terrified enough of you as it is,” he teases fondly.

He knows why you’re doing it. He knows you’re not okay, without even asking. Because he’s not okay either. You’re never okay when one of you is missing. Sometimes it’s too hard.

He smiles softly at you, his eyes lightly shining, though he still maintains some facade of professionalism in front of the others. While Finn might be okay with getting steamy wherever, he knows you’d kick his ass. “Can I borrow you for a meeting, Commander?”

You know exactly what he’s getting at though. Or you think you do.

“In supply closet 7? I can’t even think about that, right now, Poe.”

Succumbing to you, leaning into your pain which feels so familiar to him, Poe’s fingers skim down the arm of your flight suit until he clasps your hand firmly in his warm grasp.

“No sex. Just wanna hold you, okay?” He asks, leaning in to give you a soft kiss at your hairline as tears threaten to brim over your eyes, your bottom lip trembling as all your anger gives way to the turmoil it is masking as soon as Poe applies his kindness.

Subtly, Poe turns you away from the prying eyes of the pilots and recruits milling throughout the hangar with a sturdy arm around your shoulder. For good measure he flashes a firm warning with his eyes and a flick of his chin, indicating that said prying eyes should look away and continue on with their own damn business. He is as respected as you are feared, and his warning is swiftly heeded, and so Poe is able to shuffle you away with little drama, easing you across the base; not into supply closet 7, but out onto the hill, in the open-air.

You feel the sun, your namesake, on your face and you feel like you’d almost forgotten it was there. Forgotten that things could feel warm and bright. You are thankful for the reminder, as Poe leads you to a spot on the grass and lowers you with him, resting your head safely in his lap, brushing away the tears as they stream from your eyes, his fingers finding your hair.

“I know,” he shushes. “I know you love Finn, and it’s hard to be apart. But he’ll be safe. He’ll come home.”

Poe knows you love Finn. He was there, the first time you each exchanged those words, in a moment more precious to you than you could have imagined possible.

You try to remember that lightness instead of feeling heavy. And yet, it’s hard.

It’s hard whenever one of you is gone.

Even so, you offer Poe a soft smile and fist your arms in his orange flight suit, burying your face in his stomach. Holding him a little closer, while you can.

Finn was whisked away so quickly that...

Realising something suddenly - something that you already knew- you sit up, compelled by urgency. Compelled by this feeling balling in your chest. You kneel opposite Poe, looking deeply into his eyes and you clasp his face between your palms like a prayer, his fresh stubble harsh under your skin. And you kiss him. You kiss him as tenderly as if it is the first time and the last time, because you never know. You kiss him as if you kiss could make apparent all of these feeling bursting out of you, and his lips and tongue move easily against yours, speaking the same language.

You try to tell him, because he doesn’t know yet. Poe doesn’t know how you feel.

You have known for some time, but something always got in the way of telling him. You had wanted him to have his own moment. One not weighed down by worry, or overshadowed by concerns for Finn; however, here you are with him, on this hill. Sometimes the simple moments are the most special. Especially when you don’t know how many moments you may have. Especially when far too many moments are snatched away by the war.

When you pull away to speak, Poe’s lips chase you, his brow knitted together and tears balling in the corner of his eyes from the intensity and force of your kiss, his plumped lips still puckered in search of more. However, when he sees the intention in you, he lets you slip back from him, even as he keeps a hand wrapped at the nape of your neck, wanting to keep touching you somewhere - feeling your skin under his fingers.

Readying to speak you tug in a breath, to reveal to him this truth, but when Poe searches your eyes he sees your words there already - sees your love already shining for him as brightly as the sun. He’s seen it before, but this time its rays are so warm on him it is unmistakeble.

“Ah ah,” he interupts, gently, with a finger against your lips before you can tell him.

You look at him curiously, a soft smile turning up your lips, mirroring his, and yet you know what he’s about to say too. Couldn’t be more sure. You see it in his dark eyes; his love shining soft and steadfast and glowing like the light of the moon, perfeclty relfecting yours.

“I love you too, Sunshine.”

Your face splits into a blissful smile at the same time that tears wet your cheeks. With a forceful embrace, you throw your arms around his neck, fisting a hand into his curls and holding him as tightly as you possibly can, squeezing your eyes shut even tighter.

You hold him as closely as you can, not ever wanting to let go; not even when you hear the General calling your name from the base of the hill.

It’s time. You have to ship out.

You don’t want to leave Poe. You don’t want to leave Poe alone.

You pull back from him again, and you see a smattering of bittersweet tears on his cheeks too, but you also see a familiar resolve as he nods softly and cups your face in his broad palm.

He knows. You have to go.

It’s always hardest on base alone, but there is a war to fight. A war you must fight, simply so that one day, it can be over. So that you will never have to part from each other like this again.

You say a tearful goodbye to him, his lips meeting yours in a crush, laced with the taste of salt. You turn to leave, more reluctantly than you can express, and yet Poe is the one who grabs hold of your sleeve to stop you.

“Wait!” he pleads, and you do, of course you do. You wait as, to your utter disbelief, he reaches for the chain around his neck, which holds his mother’s ring. You watch, a fresh batch of tears clouding your vision as he moves over to you, and fastens it around your neck, with hope and love and resolve in his face.

Immediately, your hand comes to clasp the chain and the ring at the end of it, happiness exploding in you like a balling sun, crowding out words.

“Come back to me, will you?” he asks, with a lopsided smile, even as his voice cracks, brittle with emotion.

You return his plea with a watery smile of your own, throwing yourself into his arms once more with such force that it almost bowls him over, your tears wetting the shoulder of his flight suit. “I love you, Poe. I love you. I’ll always come back to you. How the kriff could I not?”

Poe kisses you on the lips one more time, and it is like the first time and the last time all at once, but then you really have to leave.

It seems impossibly hard to tear yourself away from him, and yet, you must, and so you jog down to the ship at pace, the chain and a million emotions jangling against and within your chest and reminding you that you’re not really leaving him behind at all. Reminding you that you’re indivisible.

Leia is waiting at the foot of the hill to scold you for your tardiness, but her words evaporate as she spots tear tracks on your cheeks and the new item of jewelry swinging at your neck, and she allows you to glide by with nothing more than a wink and a smile to clamber into your X-Wing.

You slot yourself into the cockpit, and allow yourself a few more thoughts of Poe and Finn before you let yourself slip into mission mode. You hope Poe will be okay, with you both having left him. You know he will worry.

You only hope he hangs on to one thing.

You’re coming back.

You both are. The three of you will be together again. You have to hope.

You clasp the chain around your neck with resolve, and tuck the ring safely under your flight suit, slipping your helmet over your head.

It’s hard. So hard, when you are apart, but it’s worth it. Oh so worth it, for the moments when you’re not.

You smile with determination, even before Poe’s voice crackles through your comms, with all the warmth of a blazing fire.

“Go kick ass, Sunshine. And then come back to me.”

You intend to do just that.

#indivisible #poe dameron x reader #finn x reader #finnpoe #finnpoe x reader #star wars

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