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#The Tea Master and the Detective
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vote yes if you have finished the entire book.
vote no if you have not finished the entire book.
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booksandwords · 10 months
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The Tea Master and the Detective by Aliette de Bodard
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Series: The Universe of Xuya Read time: 1 Day Rating: 4/5 Stars
The Quote: "That's all there is to it. Life isn't easy and neat." "You make it sound like it is. when you make your deductions from the smallest scraps of evidence." "When I deduce things? You're mistaken. The world is chaotic and without sense. But in the smallest of spheres it's sometimes possible to straighten things out; to make it seem as though everything means something." — Long Chau and The Shadow's Child
Despite only reading The Tea Master and the Detective I found the lore governing the Universe of Xuya is easy to understand. I like the characters, their dynamic was not unique but somewhat unexpected. It's a mystery to be solved by shipmind The Shadow's Child and human Long Chau. The story isn't a whodunit, de Bodard just tells the story, she doesn't ask you to help solve the crime. Though she does give hints and I've readers the option to figure out Long Chau's past (as she is asking The Shadow's Child to). It is the right balance for a novella. Some leading some thinking.
Long Chau and The Shadow's Child feel like and reversal of types. Long Chau is the colder of the two, the more objective. The Shadow's Child comes across as more fragile and emotional. Though these traits suit professions Long Chau is a detective, The Shadow's Child is a tea maker. As much as The Shadow's Child claims she isn't she absolutely traumatised after the events of a war and the loss of her crew. I look at their developing relationship as something like creating a brew, brewing a tea. It takes time for them to understand each other's elements and figure out how to work together. Well since we're in The Shadow's Child's head it takes a while for her to understand how she feels about Long Chau.
The writing style used by de Bodard is pleasing. The sentences can be quite long but it is descriptive and lyrical. It is well suited to The Shadow's Child's intelligence and soul (?). Long Chau's language is different but this is only right. I like the pronouns used throughout/. There are so few characters in the book both The Shadow's Child and Long Chau are female. So many of the characters that have an impact on the plot are which I have no problem with at all, there is something to be said about using a single gender to prove a point. But the ones that are the most interesting to me are the shipminds. Traditionally ships are female but de Bodard uses a mix of masculine, feminine and neutral. Sharpening Steel into Needles is referred to as they, The Three in the Peach Gardens and The Sorrow of the Four Gentleman are referred to he.
Some quotes I liked... • But I liked the previous one. Strong chemistry between the characters. And to have a small mining operation was a smart change of setting. I loved the mindship and their habitat's Mind's lover, trying to find each other after decades had passed. — There is something pleasing about this line. I read a lot of romance novels, I have favourite authors that I can say things like this about. This I will read near everything they read and compare book to book. (The Shadow's Child) • The walls had caved in now, receding in what seemed a long and profound distance; the table was folding back on itself, showing the metal it had been made from, the bots that had hammered it into shape—the broken scraps of what it'd be, when it finally broke down, every moment existing tightly folded on top of one another. — This is a description of going into deep space. Kinda like a parker pocket of space, this feels like some form of hyperspace. Either way, it messes with the mind, the deeper you go the worse you get. The Shadow's Child makes teas to protect people'm minds in deep space. I said the lore was understandable, this was the only bit I didn't quite get. (The Shadow's Child) • "It was a long way away from here—the currents of unreality carried her a long way: you can see it in the way the shadow skin got shredded. And I could speculate, but it's an unhealthy pastime. We need certainty, not smokescreens." — I like Long Chau. I like the way her mind her analytical mind works. The language she is given is great too. (Long Chau) • "She'll be back." "Of course. She attacks problems the same way crocodiles attack prey, with relentless abandon. Giving up would be physically painful." — This is a well-respected and connected shipmind talking about Long Chau. Quite frankly I like it because it says a lot about her. This is Long Chau's reputation with shipminds in general. (The Shadow's Child and Sharpening Steel into Needles) • Long Chau lounged against the wall with the ease of someone who owned the compartment. Bots hung on the back of her hands—gilded and ornate like jewels, the needles on the tips of their bodies almost invisible. — This is just such a visual description. (The Shadow's Child) • Long Chau had been about to rise from the table. She sat down now. The languidness was gone, leaving only the sharp, fast and wounding edge of a blade. — Ditto on the visual description. This and the previous quote are pretty good examples of The Shadow's Child's language. (The Shadow's Child)
The Tea Master and the Detective has been sitting on my tbr pile for far too long. Honestly, I'm glad I've finally read it. I can definitely see how it won the 2018 Nebula award it did (plus a nomination for a Hugo). It was actually the cover that originally attracted me to this. Both covers I've seen are lovely, though Derek Berger's perhaps slightly better reflecting the characters better. Berger's is the cover I read.
oh man all the italics in this review. Out of respect to Aliette de Bodard I have kept her formatting for the shipminds names while maintaining my own formatting (italics for quotes and titles).
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tea-n-ink · 8 months
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💀💖🔎
Dance with death my detective!!
insta || tumblr || twitter
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trubbishrubbish · 10 months
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CLOCKMARE IN THE CAFE.
I REPEAT. CLOCKMARE. IN. THE. CAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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pixelatedraindrops · 6 months
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Yuma looks so cute with a cold ;w; 💕
(under read for minor snz content kinda)
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don't stand in the rain too long silly 🤧💦
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chocsra · 2 months
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✧ "Salvation; Devotion"
16! stormbringer! Chuuya x fem! reader
✧ summary: being targeted by paul verlaine after being chuuyas friend, though when he comes to talk to you with a european detective, it seems to be more than friendship. ✧ content: small oneshot, fluff, angst (kinda), adam + angsty teenagers ✧ w/c: 1.4k
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Chuuya - meaning "loyalty, devotion"
Nakahara - meaning "central plain"
His devotion was not only his strongest attribute, but his most tender weakness.
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You knew a boy. He was young and short, but fiery and strong. He was mysterious, born with unknown origins, and walked the wrong path, that's why he's not only humanity's most destructive weapon but a lowly, pitiful, criminal.
It was something you weren't, though you didn't mind much.
But under the guise of celestial imperfections, Chuuya was a constellation falling into place. He was beautiful. Sunkissed with the kind of foreign beauty you’d see in actors that would play some sort of prince. Your first examination of him was his wealthy and neatly ironed clothing—the kind of blazers and shoes that you’d find in a modelling campaign. Even the accented cuffs of his clothing were underlined with emerald or other precious stones. Then, his silky russet hair, one thrown into a low ponytail—the hairstyle itself still retained a strong masculinity despite the length. Or maybe that came from the musky cologne he constantly wore. A hint of cigarettes, strawberries and that strong scent of virile.
The soft glow from his copper locks then shifted to the fitted collar around his neck—an odd fashion choice, but it really accentuated the ivory of his skin. Soft, sun-kissed skin that’d make its way to his face. A beautiful face, really. Delicate and angelic features with a permanent scowl tugging on his lips—soft pink lips. Chuuya's eyes reflected a fine smoky quartz. His cheeks and nose kissed with a few scattered freckles.
You wondered why a boy so sublime had the status of an onerous beast. Even he took the words that held the weight of a blade and cut himself until he was reduced to the slit of a knife.
You met that same boy, a masterpiece ripped at every edge, not in the dangers of the mafia, but where a silver line stretches to the sea. Where the sun meets the sky, where the light shines.
But even then, you treated him differently. You didn't treat him like he was something fragile. Neither did you treat him like the monstrosity he was sought out to be. You didn't worship him, nor did you greatly depend on him. Instead, you found his humanity and treated him as such. Once a stranger, then a friend, then..
Nevermind.
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"Chuuya?!"
You heard the calamity of each step he took to reach you, the boy stopping to pant. "[Y/N].. we need to talk." next to the redhead, was a tall European man with short brown hair, he didn't look tired at all compared to Chuuya. "Greetings, my name is Adam Frankenstein." You cocked a brow at his monotonous voice, the way his mouth moved didn't seem in sync with his words either. "You're rather special, Master Chuuya spent almost 7 hours looking for yo-" Adam explained briefly, causing the redhead to grimace and cut him off, "Shut it, will ya?!"
...
You heaved a bothersome sigh, elbows planted on a cafe table as the two men sat in front of you. "So.. why do you need me, Chuuya?" you question, fiddling with your fingers, "And who's he?.." your gaze uplifts to the brunette foreigner, which the man carefully takes a pack of gum and begins to unfold it, popping a piece in his mouth, before swallowing it. Your eyebrows furrow in a moment of youthful distaste.
Chuuya clutches the cup of tea between his gloved fingers and murmurs something intangible, "Adam's a detective from Europole, investigating Verlaine. He wants to know more about him, which is why he's been following me around.." he finally explains, taking a calculated and almost frustrated sip of his tea.
"Verlaine. Who's Verlaine?" You ask momentarily, causing the redhead to part his lips to answer, but you quickly halt as the detective swallows another piece of gum down his throat. "And why is he chewing gum like that?"
"That's what I'm sayin'!" the teenager half-seriously slams the cup of tea on the table, "He swallows it like a nutjob. You need help, tin man." Chuuya scoffs, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat almost nervously.
"You need help. You spent 6 hours and 47 minutes looking for h-" the brunette explains with a hint of sass in his voice, the redhead's eyes widening in shock, "I said shut up!"
You shuffle in your seat awkwardly as the two men argue. Scratching the back of your neck before Chuuya finally settles down, patting down the cashmere of his suit.
"So here's the thing about Verlaine.. he's this batshit crazy assassin, and uh.. here's the real kicker.." the mafioso mutters, fiddling with his gloved fingers uneasily. "You're gonna be the bait."
Your jaw immediately drops, a hand clasping over your chest in the offence. "Excuse me?! For what?.. to get killed?!" Chuuya looks distressed at your response, seeking Adam's gaze for at least a little help in his later response.
"Your safety is ensured. We just need to lure Verlaine out, so Master Chuuya can eliminate him." the detective explains rather calmly, fishing for something in the pocket of his suit before handing a chocolate bar to you. "Here, sugar helps with stress." the redhead smiles awkwardly at Adam's response, giving a nervous thumbs up.
You snatch the chocolate bar with a bit of attitude, eyes narrowing to Chuuya as the boy inhales sharply, "I thought I wouldn't get involved in your mafia affairs, now I have to die?" you ask with furrowed brows, anger cracking in your voice. Causing the teenager to gulp in slight fear, a rare sight to Adam, as he's never sensed fear from Master Chuuya. Especially to a young girl like you.
"Well, you won't die... More like, almost die." The detective explains, hoping he'd ease your nerves at least a bit. "Doesn't matter! M'not doing it!" You shout in vexation, hopping up from your seat as you pick up your school bag. "Plus, I couldn't if I wanted to, anyway," you murmur,
"Wait.. why?" Chuuya asks with conviction.
your gaze adverts to the different sights in the area: the park bench, passersby, and the cafe's menu. Anything but Chuuya's confused face.
"Uhm.. I have a project that's due tomorrow, and I didn't start yet."
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"You can't be serious!"
The teenager runs up to you in frustration, you clutch your bag as you turn to him. "Oh, but I am!" you remark, walking faster as the brunette detective catches up. "I'm very serious! After all, this is a serious project!"
The redhead pants and wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead, "You're really gonna prioritise a school project over your own life?!" he cries out, still trying to catch up to you.
"Anything is better than being bait for the Port Mafia!" You yell out, settling your argument atop a bridge, ignoring how the sun was starting to set in an arrangement of oranges and pinks. "Shit- Don't say that so loud!"
"I'd rather finish a school project than become bait for the Port Mafia!!"
You repeat again, louder this time. Chuuya pinches his nose bridge in frustration, tilting his head up towards the setting sun. And upon you halting your swift steps, the redhead finally catches up to you, and to your surprise, he grabs your hand to spin you around.
"Look, I had a shitty week too!" the boy lets go of your hand, making you huff a little bit. But instead of letting you go, he cups both of your cheeks and pulls you close, his gaze never averting from yours. "People that mattered to me died, so many of them," the teenager explains, a melancholic glint lingering in his pretty eyes, you could see it all from the close proximity of his face. "and I'd do anything for you to not be one of those people."
You gulp hard as your eyes scan over the glass of his eyes, the once stormy grey now welling holding back tears.
Silence.
Adam clears his throat, standing beside you and the mafioso awkwardly, "Apologies for interrupting. But this whole exchange is very childish. Master Chuuya, don't you think there are better words to articulate your romantic feelings towards [Y/N]?.. Perhaps after this all over, you can solve this by getting into a relationship-" you and the boy both retort at the detective in unison:
"Shut up, Adam!"
...
"Okay, I'll help you." you frown with conviction, "You owe me a school project, though."
The redhead presses two fingers to his glabella, "I'll send someone to complete it for you."
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✧ chocsra™
taglist for those who interacted in this post:
@loserzai @juice1231 @silverbladexyz @soleelia @cherylpoptarts @jackiepackiee @sapphire-tears013 @sstarshroom @n0thum4ny @roujira
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sunderwight · 5 months
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SVSSS AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates as usual, except it's to find that his system is freaking out because it's been several years since Luo Binghe was supposed to show up at the sect trials to start his plot but so far there's been no sign of the protagonist, the Protagonist Halo Features aren't working correctly, and there's another transmigrator who arrived earlier, somehow hacked into the system, and erased its ability to track or punish him before disappearing into parts unknown (it was Airplane).
So Shen Yuan, now Shen Qingqiu, reasons that anyone who was trying to interfere with the plotline had either rescued or killed Luo Binghe while he was still young. Hoping for the former (but braced for the latter) he uses what scant knowledge the novel provided about Luo Binghe's origins, plus his new skills and some of the sect resources available, to track down Luo Binghe.
Turns out, in this version of events, some "random benefactor" showed up and gave Luo Binghe's mother some life-saving medicine. So she didn't die. But her health remained poor and Binghe never left her side, instead doing as much of her work as he was able to. So teenaged Binghe is basically a seemingly average, run-of-the-mill servant.
Shen Qingqiu is like "well this is pretty easy to fix actually" and approaches Luo Binghe as a wise immortal master type, says he sees Binghe's potential, and offers to take him on as a disciple. Luo Binghe is thrilled and kind of gobsmacked, but won't abandon his mother. Not a problem! Shen Qingqiu figured he wouldn't, so he offers to make arrangements to have Mama Luo comfortably set up in one of the villages at the base of the mountain. Sure, having her be alive and letting Binghe visit and write to her would be a deviation from the usual tragic backstory, but not a huge one! Shen Qingqiu is ready to mark this problem solved (and start dealing with all the other problems it creates for him) but the system is weirdly unsatisfied.
Turns out that even though Shen Qingqiu has found Luo Binghe (and a few discreet tests confirm that he has some sort of seal in place, and what are the odds of some other random orphan found on the Luo river, raised by a kindly-but-ill laundress, and named "Luo Binghe" exists in the same region?), the system still can't detect the Protagonist Halo Feature. The stupid glitching thing can't recognize the protagonist without it, so it keeps insisting that Shen Qingqiu locate him, even when he's kneeling right there and performing the tea ceremony for his initiation!
It's really annoying!
Especially since this means that the system won't actually safeguard Luo Binghe from harm. Which means it's up to Shen Qingqiu to make sure that his little white lotus disciple lives long enough to become the ruler of everything. This is easier said than done! Between the skinner demon side quest, and the demonic invasion, and various other side missions to build up the protagonist's potential, Luo Binghe is constantly getting into trouble and Shen Qingqiu keeps getting poisoned or injured trying to drag him back out of it in one piece!
Matters come to a head at the Immortal Alliance Conference (as they so often do). Shen Qingqiu is not planning to yeet Binghe, of course. Like this there's no guarantee of survival, and the system isn't even demanding it of him (because it still doesn't recognize the protagonist), but it seems to be demanding they turn up for the event anyway. Shen Qingqiu is a nervous wreck and fighting the urge to hover, because as expected, there is still a demonic invasion. Except this time Mobei Jun is there, and so is a mysterious cloaked figure who seems to be searching for something.
As soon as Shen Qingqiu claps eyes on the figure, the system chimes happily.
Protagonist Halo successfully located!
Turns out, part of Airplane's hacks involved stealing the halo and reassigning it to himself. Except that means that narrative destiny still wants him to hit certain plot beats, so he's been busily conquering the demonic realms -- in MBJ's name of course -- and mostly doing the bare minimum to satisfy the requirements while evading the system's efforts to regain contact. But now he's gotta go get Xin Mo somehow, except the minute Shen Qingqiu spots him so does the system.
The system, which immediately reassigns Airplane as the protagonist, and orders Shen Qingqiu to throw him into the Endless Abyss.
Which is like, better this rando than Binghe, so okay, but Mobei Jun is not cooperating plus the mysterious hooded stranger also seems pretty resistant to the idea (Airplane is NOT a heavenly demon, Protagonist Halo or no he's still actually a relatively squishy human cultivator, and he does not want to go into the hell pit), and between one thing and another Airplane manages to fall int the Abyss with Luo Binghe.
Not ideal. Which is to say, Shen Qingqiu is emotionally devastated and almost convinced that Luo Binghe has died for real and that Mysterious Halo Thief is going to come out somehow in a few years and chop off all his limbs, and Mobei Jun is extremely distressed because the man he intends to marry just fell into the Endless Abyss, and that seems like a difficult thing to somehow Evil Vizier your way out of.
The other peak lords arrive to keep Mobei Jun from killing Shen Qingqiu, and so everyone just kind of despairingly returns to their separate corners of the universe to wait and see what will happen.
Meanwhile, down in the Endless Abyss, Luo Binghe has unlocked his heavenly demon blood and is now constantly trying to kill Airplane. But thanks to the transferred protagonist halo it just doesn't work. The system interferes and creates a last-minute unlikely survival route for Airplane every time. They eventually reach an impasse where Airplane can't die but only Luo Binghe is strong enough to actually fight most of the creatures in the Abyss, and all this "fighting" between the two of them (generous description) keeps attracting big monsters.
So, Airplane offers a deal. He knows things about this place. Including how to get out. If Luo Binghe helps him fend off the monsters, then he'll help Luo Binghe survive and escape as well. He even offers to help him get away from Shen Qingqiu and make a place for himself in the demon realms! Luo Binghe tries to kill him again for that, so he drops that line of attempted bribery really quick and switches tactics. He knows more things! Things about Shen Qingqiu's past! Secrets he'll share if Luo Binghe helps him!
Is this the start of a beautiful new friendship?
No.
Turns out Luo Binghe and Airplane have exactly the correct combination of shared traits and differences to find one another mostly intolerable. But not intolerable to the point of not being able to manage teeth-clenched teamwork. By the time they get out of the Endless Abyss, Luo Binghe never wants to hear about cup noodles or tax collection or Mobei Jun's tits ever again, and Airplane feels much the same about anything at all to do with Shen Qingqiu (and either Shen Qingqiu is a fellow transmigrator now or else Luo Binghe has inserted a shockingly vivid delusion over the scum villain he wrote). But they're both alive and in joint custody of an evil sword.
Unfortunately, due to the bickering and the complexities of Shang Qinghua's sketchy memory for his own plots, it takes them even longer to get out of the Abyss than it took PIDW Luo Binghe to manage on his own.
And, uh. Well.
They don't find things in great shape, considering how they left them...
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kyouka-supremacy · 11 months
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BSD Anthologies Masterlist
I couldn't find a comprehensive (and with still working links) masterlist of the translated anthology chapters so. Here we go! Biggest shoutout to this other masterlist by @/yokohama-drip for most of the chapter references and to bsd-bibliophile for chapters 7 and 12 of the first and second anthologies. Titles translation credits go to the bsd wiki. Happy reading!
Edit: Thank you so much @amythedemisimp for the precious additions!!!
1-5 raws
First Anthology -Rei-
Don't Get a Stomachache to Gain a Friend by Hideki
The Things I Hate, the Things I Like by Ichi Kotoko
The Devil Comes and Takes Care by KanaiNeco
Kenji 100% by Enya Uraki
The Detective Agency's Manju Incident by Ui Kashima
A Quiz During Work by Mito Aoi
Karl's Resentment by Tsubata Nozaki /// alternative translation
The Things I Like by Con Kitora
Me and the Cake and Sometimes the Pug by Kazuki Tōgō
Jun'ichirō Tanizaki's Suffering by Akamaru
Fortune-telling Will Bring Good Luck by Yūto Masagishi
Icy Weather by Tam Chashibu
What is a Partner...? by Akaza Samamiya
Second Anthology -Hana-
The Detective Agency and the Port Mafia's Holidays by Mikan Aka
Time Sale is a Battlefield by Guru Mizoguchi
Q's Stroll Day by Kazusa Subaru
Osamu Dazai Quiz Tournament by Hinoki Kino
Ruler! Fitzgerald's Room by KanaiNeco
Thirty-two. Episode Five by Kakashi Tano
Ichiyō Higuchi's Off Duty Top Secret Mission by Ataru Hida
A Restaurant with Many Literary Masters by Ko Nikaido
A Timid Person's Day by Masahiro Jinno
Hot Pots and Holidays by Sho Kimiduka
The Tiger's Repayment by Kotaro
Sweet Outing by Yuzuru Kuzukiri /// alternative translation
Bungos' Joint Social Gathering by Hideki
Stray Dogs' Lucky Spot Disagreement by Noka Nogami
Third Anthology -Rin-
Mother by Hideki /// alternative translation
The Mafia Inadvertently Read a Novel Written on a Whim and Reincarnated in a Parallel Universe by Hinoki Kino /// alternative translation
As You Wear It by Akira Hirahara /// alternative translation
The Devil's Automatic Door by Nanora /// alternative transaltion
How to Find Happiness by Kanae Ikushima /// alternative translation
Hello, Again Winter Dreams. by Pyaa /// alternative translation
The Visitor in the Rain by Togekinoko /// alternative translation
Because My Senior's Healthcare is Also My Job by Roku Sakura /// alternative translation
Good Weather, Cat Storm by Osawa /// alternative translation
Breakfast Situation by Miki Daichi /// alternative translation
Elise-chan, a Smartphone Application by KanaiNeco /// alternative translation
Q's Suffering by Hiko Nekome /// alternative translation
Tiger, Sometimes Cat by Taichi Miya /// alternative translation
The Port Mafia's Medical Check-up by Sakurana Haru
With a Hat, a Man and a Beef Bowl by Oda
Fourth Anthology -Akatsuki-
Poe and Ranpo and Enter and Black Tea by Imaru Adachi /// alternative translation
Apple Demon by Nykken
A Little Break by Siroisora
Exciting Grab Bag by Toriyasu
All Quiet on the Black Cloth Front by Mari Araki
Hirotsu-san's Coffee Shop by Yashino Ayashiro
The Client is a Cute Ghost by Otakumi
The Little Visitor in the Rain by Togekinoko
Fully Automatic Suicide Machine by Zero Akabane
Why Did You Come to Japan? by KanaiNeco
The Story of Kunikida Falling Asleep by Saru Hashino
A Hunting Dogs' Holiday by Hinoki Kino
Infernal Day by Asuka Keigen
The Decision is an Oblate that Enwraps the Pain of Life by Hideki
Fifth Anthology -Kanade-
Masterlist by @/zilinks
Sixth Anthology -Mutsumi-
Given to You Based on Your Level and Love by KanaiNeco
Detective Agency Radio by Yu Kira
GET UP LUCY!! by Kabotya
Poe, Wine and the Setting Sun by Imaru Adachi
Shindafuri Dai Sakusen by Yuri Tsukushiro
Hanachidori by iyutani
What Style Are You? by Kiyo Hasui
'Hitori' yori 'hanbun' by Neno
The Angel's Rest by Mari Araki
Mottomo Erai Egoisuto by Mutsuki Higashioji
Magomusume Sakusen, Zokkō-chū ni Tsuki by Eku Hachida
Boo no Yū by Asato Konami
Do S! Erisu-chan!! by Kakeru Sora
Young Ranpo Wants to Be Praised by Tsuki Anmi (incomplete)
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ghouljams · 9 months
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I'm wheezing thinking of Konig hunting leibling around the house. Like a cat sitting in the shadows doing the little wiggle before pouncing and shes just used to it so much that she keeps on with whatever she's doing ahhh. Could we maybe get some fluff after him being so scary? Maybe him trying to do some nesting and Liebling's like it's not gonna happen stawhp.
You're hardly seen König all day. You know he's in the house only because you didn't hear the door open. You frown at the kettle on the stove, ears straining to try and hear him. You shiver a little, scratching the back of your neck. You can feel him watching you, or you can feel something watching you and you assume it's König. You dread to think what else it could be. You shake your head and go to grab your tea from the pantry.
You stumble over something, catching yourself before you fall on your face. You look back to see König's long fluffy tail drag itself back into the shadows between the wall and the fridge. You do your best not to think about how he squeezed himself back there, and tamp down the desire to go and check out whether it's actually him back there. It'll just unnerve you to see his eyes glowing from the shadows.
You finish preparing your tea and go to sit on the couch. You narrow your eyes at the suspicious lack of throw blankets. Usually you have them tucked in every corner so they're easily accessible. Now they're not even folded in their little basket. You check the basket, keeping your mug held close to your chest. Empty. You let out an annoyed hum.
Stubbornness wins over curiosity and you sit on the couch, tucking your feet under you. You grab the remote to turn the TV on and catch a glimpse of König looming behind you in the screen's reflection. You turn quickly, your heart pounding at the sudden glimpse of his claws and spines, but he's not there. You look back at the TV, the reflection of the room empty save for you. You turn it on and squeeze yourself into a ball against the corner of the couch. You hate when he does this.
The volume is low, your ears straining to listen, your eyes watching the screen's reflection, your hair on end waiting for the next glimpse of your hunter. You don't even try to relax, hands gripping the warmth of your mug like a lifeline. At the first commercial break you set your mug on the coffee table, not willing to scald yourself if König jumps you. There's a quiet clicking behind you, you turn quickly to watch König's tail disappear into the bedroom. Occupied for now.
You lose yourself in a shitty cop show for a while, knowing König will grab you when he wants to. The detectives are just wrapping up their interrogation when you hear a soft purring by the arm of the couch. When you turn to look König is watching you, just peaking over the edge of the couch, his eyes wide and pupils blown to the edges of his irises. His tail whips and swishes behind him, his spines laid flat, you don't trust the nonthreatening display for a second.
"Wollen wir heute früh ins Bett gehen?" His voice is so rough in this form, more growling than human speech. You blink at him and turn off the TV, already anticipating the way his hands grab you and lift as he stands. You bite down the smile that threatens to spill, something giddy welling up in your chest whenever he lifts you.
König drops you on your bed, and you are engulfed by blankets, nearly smothered by pillows. You look around the --you think the implications of this word are dangerous-- nest he's built as König climbs on the bed after you. You hold your arms out to him, still inspecting his masterful work and he eagerly presses himself into your arms. His face nuzzling against your chest with a satisfied purr as he curls up in the nest.
"The throws have to go back to the couch," You tell König, carding your fingers through his hair. He purrs louder, his arms wrapping tighter around you. You wonder what's gotten into him.
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Sexiest Podcast Character — Scripted Bracket — Round 3
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Propaganda
Peter Nureyev (The Penumbra Podcast: Juno Steel):
His character is the reason the term "Homme Fatale" became a thing
Homme fatale, living by the mantra of be gay, do crime. V secretive and just the right amount of flirty. Also I love him
He’s a slutty master thief who slept with a detective he went on 1 date(murder case) with and then fell ass over tea kettle in love. Literally can’t think of anything sexier
Antigone Funn (Wooden Overcoats):
An extremely agoraphobic mortician of a local funeral home who has every disease. Nervous wreck. Makes noises when stressed. An artist at heart (her embalming fluid is imbued with the fragrance of cinnamon).
she's the goth gf of your dreams. she's an undertaker, a romance novelist, a hot air balloon pilot, and she has interiority for days
It's antigone or unfollow me
please, everyone, antigone deserves this. she ghost-wrote a wildly successful erotic novel and then faked the death of the fake author. she didn’t leave her house for 17 years except to go see horny french films every thursday. she accidentally ended up in a love triangle with a hot domme lesbian circus ringmaster and her own employee. she broke up with a doctor after one date because he didn’t respect her career (and also his parrot hated her). she experienced years of carnal yearning for her professional rival only to finally realize she was actually okay on her own. she drinks embalming fluid. she thinks of funerals as an art form. she was diagnosed with depression as an infant. she wanted to be a clown when she grew up. her hero is a historical female scientist who has a statue with her tits out. she’s been attacked by owls. a bunch of children thought she was a forest witch. the rest of the village thought she was dead. she has committed multiple counts of breaking and entering. she designed artisanal chocolates that put you in a temporary coma. she can’t eat her own chocolates because she’s allergic to everything. she attracts shadows like a magnet. she’s a woman in STEM. if you have any love in your heart for goth weirdgirls you’ll do the right thing. ANTIGONE SWEEP
GUYS PLEASE
PLEASE VOTE FOR ANTIGONE!!!!!
CMON DON’T LET MY GIRL “CANNONICALLY WANTED BY EVERYONE ON THIS ISLAND” LOSE!!!
Considering committing voter fraud for Antigone. My girl 😔
Vote Antigone because do you understand how narratively satisfying it would be if she won??? Season one? She could barely go outside her mortuary. Season four? Modeling for a sexy calendar. THE CHARACTER GROWTH!!!!!!! Nothing more sexy than that.
COME ON Y'ALL VOTE ANTIGONE. VOTE FOR MY HORNY GOTH QUEEN!!!!!
VOTE ANTIGONE OR DIE
IF YALL DONT VOTE ANTIGONE UR BLOCKED. This isn’t even a joke.
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eardefenders · 3 months
Text
Sherlock & Co - Mailbag Episode 2 Transcript
00:00-00:30 Intro Music
00:27-00:34 *Sounds of a violin playing fade in*
00:34 Sherlock: You see? You see what I mean?
00:37 John: I…don’t.
00:39 Sherlock: Listen! *scoffs* Listen, closely this time. Shh. *resumes playing the bit from the fade in*
00:43 John: Argh. *pause* For God’s sake.
*Sherlock keeps playing*
00:46 John: Sherlock, please mate. We’ve got questions to get through here.
*Sherlock keeps playing*
00:52 John: Maaaate. Matey, mate mate mate mate.
00:55 Sherlock: Did you hear it this time?
00:57 John: Yeah. Sure. Uhh, right. So let’s dive into the discord chat. The brand spanking new discord for Sherlock and Co members. Brimming with Stamfords, Irregulars, and Diogene-sohmy God. There’s thousands of messages. Um, right. Should probably been keeping tabs on those questions. All right I’m going to scroll up and pick one f-from um the sssixteenth of January. Here we go! Come on down…IdleVice! Uh, your question is, “If you could make a Spotify playlist for each other of your own favorite songs, what would some of the highlights be and would you be willing to share the playlists with us. Ooh hoohoho. Uuuhhm. I don’t know if I’d ever get around to actually, y’know, putting the playlist together, as, as such, but what I-I would get Sherlock to listen to. Ummm mmmm probably Elbow? Elbow are a band from the north of England. Uh, Salford I think. But they have, uh, a few strings sort of. I-I don’t know what it’s called-but, elements that involve violins. Um, and all that jazz. Heh. Uh well not jazz! Uh, literally, not jazz. Uh, yeah, Sherlock, what about me?
02:07 Sherlock: Hm?
02:08 John: If you could make a playlist of songs for me what would it be?
02:12 Sherlock: I probably would never do that, Watson.
02:16 John: Okay. Uh, could you expand on that?
02:19 Sherlock: It’s a task that I wouldn’t find that fulfil-Vivaldi.
02:23 John: Uhh, right. Vivaldi. Yep. Anything else pop into mind?
02:29 Sherlock: Pop.
02:31 John: Pop? Is that-what’s that?
02:33 Sherlock: It’s a genre of music.
02:35 John: Uh, right, you’d make a pop playlist for me?
02:38 Sherlock: I’d probably enlist Mrs. Hudson to do that.
02:41 John: Fair enough. And why pop?
02:43 Sherlock: Because it’s an abbreviation for ‘popular music’.
02:45 John: No, I know that.
02:47 Sherlock: You like popular culture, therefore pop music could very well be your cup of green tea.
02:54 John: It’s, it’s just cup of tea. Bu-uh-uh, well, okay, uh, thank you for that. Uh, back to the discord dudes and dudettes. Um, not that I was implying any kind of masculine energy to the use of the word dudes. Dudes will remain, uh, um, an-an-an-androgynous here. My…dudes. Bit like the word mate! I do throw it around. Ummm. Some people just think it’s for blokes. Don’t know why. Uh, anyway. Here we go. Leaf-onk, layff, layfonk? I hope I’m saying that right. Uh, Leif-Leif*onk* asks, ‘Has Sherlock ever hit a vape?”
03:28 Sherlock: Yes.
03:29 John: Lovely. They’d also like to know the flavor.
03:31 Sherlock: Menthol.
03:32 John: D-do you want to expand?
03:35 Sherlock: Mm, not really.
03:37 John: Did you like it?
03:38 Sherlock: It was satisfactory, I suppose.
03:41 John: *sighs* Another thrilling q and a session with the master detective. Here we go! Number one archie fan-He-he-heeyyy! Archie! Found your number one fan mate. Heh. Think they also go by potpourri. Not sure. Don’t really know how discord works because I was born in 1989. Anyway! Number one Archie fan asks, do you have a favorite classical piece? Or a favorite composer, perhaps?
04:05 Sherlock: Mozart, generally. Can often be tied to my mood. What about Vivaldi? You said Vivaldi earlier?
04:12 Sherlock: That was a recommendation to you.
04:14 John: But not you?
04:14 Sherlock: Definitely not.
04:16 John: Great.
04:17 Sherlock: Uh, Mozart, Bach, Tchaikovsky. But I am often driven by whatever phase I feel I’m in.
04:23 John: And we’re in a Mozart phase now, are we?
04:26 Sherlock: We are indeed.
04:27 John: Fab. Right, uh, Reeonk asks-ohkay, ok, I see what you’re doing now. Cause of. Cause of Jonk. Okahaha. Let’s all laugh at Jonk-John, I mean.
04:40 Sherlock: *laughs*
04:41 John (affectionately): Oh, ge-Shut up, you big idiot.
04:44 Sherlock: *still laughing*
04:45 John (affectionately annoyed): Shut it. Ha. Uhhhh, we’ll cut that bit. I swear to God. Right! Reonk, who I think also goes by Perfo, if I click here. But yes, as I was saying, millennial at the wheel. Sorry. Reonk’s first question, “Hey John, if you were an animal, what animal would you be?” Uhhhum, *clicks tongue* look, I’ve got to be something airborne. Um, uh I’m sorry, but I have to. Y-y-you can’t have the chance to fly and turn it down, so, uh, I’m a bird.
05:09 Sherlock: Or a bug.
05:10 John: S-s-sorry?
05:11 Sherlock: Bugs. Insects. They’re airborne. Hm, as is some bacteria.
05:16 John: Great, yeah. Let me just decide between a gnat and a germ.
05:19 Sherlock: By all means. Take your time.
05:21 John: I’m being sarcastic. I’m not a bug and I’m not bloody…germs. I’m. *sighs* I mean it’s too much pressure being an eagle, isn’t it. Um, *clicks tongue three times* I don’t want to be something that’s crap at flying, like a swan or a goose or something. Shoutout to Heather, by the way. Ehhh, aw come on John, come on John. Um. Ooo! Tell you what. Now this is going to sound stupid, but if it was my brain in the animal-
05:47 Sherlock: Yes, this is going to sound stupid.
05:49 John: Shh-sh-shh. Yes, if it was me. In the animal. I’m going pigeon.
05:54 Sherlock: Pigeon?
05:55 John: Pigeon. Ehh? Right, listen, ok. I can still live in the city. I cou-I could even live in my room, really.
06:01 Sherlock: You absolutely cannot.
06:03 John: What? Why not?
06:04 Sherlock: I’m not flatsharing with a bloody pigeon, Watson.
06:06 John: It’s me.
06:07 Sherlock: Yes, in the body of a pigeon.
06:09 John: Listen, let me finish my point. I’m a pigeon. I’ve got my room. I can fly about London, y’know? See all the sites, dive bomb some tourists, do a little poo on the House of Commons. I could nick a bit of decent grub. Yeah, go on walks with Archie and Mariana in the park. And no one is the wiser. If I was an eagle or a, y’know, like an albatross, I couldn’t do that, could I? No? It’d be great flying across town, even take the tube. Saw a pigeon on the tube the other day.
06:39 Sherlock: Yes, you said. Twice.
06:41 John: I could look through people’s windows, you know go in their gardens, on their patios….That makes me sound creepy, doesn’t it? Ah, pigeon! *clears his throat* The answer is pigeon. Second question, “What kitchen appliance would you be?” *clicks tongue twice and sucks air in thorough his teeth* Hm. Not being a microwave. No way, don’t get cleaned enough and, uh, having curries and bloody pizzas blowing up inside me, geezus. Uh, fridge. Maybe. Mmm, but I’d see a lot of rotting food, wouldn’t I? Especially if people are away for a while. Probably go with something fun, y’know something where I come out of the pantry or the, y’know, the cupboard or whatever, and all the family go ‘yaayyy, heyhey here he is!’-Wafflemaker, I’d be a wafflemaker. Everyone loves waffles. No one’s getting board of me. I’m getting cleaned. Perfect. Pigeon and a wafflemaker. Ha! That’s not a bad name for our band, eh Sherlock?
07:32 Sherlock: We’re not making a band.
07:33 John: Yeahhh, it was a joke. Right! It’s biscuit time! Saren says ‘Question for Sherlock: What kind of biscuits are, in your opinion, the best?
07:42: *sound of someone walking away*
07:43 John: Uhh, what’re you doing?
07:44 Sherlock: Answering the question.
07:44 John: Well, that would involve sitting down and talking into the mic.
07:48 Sherlock *sound of papers*: Here.
07:49 John: This…is an essay….on biscuits.
07:52 Sherlock: Yes.
07:54 John: By you.
07:55 Sherlock: Yes.
07:56 John: Okay.
07:58 Sherlock: Well, read it. My findings are in there.
08:01 John: Whaaa…it’s thirty-nine pages long.
08:03 Sherlock: Indeed.
08:04 John: Thi-this is supposed to be a snappy question and answer segment. Y’know it’s supposed to be a patreon reward, not a bloody punishment. *sarcastically* ‘Aww thanks for giving six quid everybody, here’s an eleven hour lecture on biscuits.’
08:15 Sherlock: They asked the question.
08:16 John: Right, ok. So, uh, he was eating a lot of custard creams the other day. Um, for those of you who aren’t British, uh, a custard cream is, uh, a sort of sandwich structured biscuit, wouldn’t’cha say?
08:26 Sherlock: Correct. Yes. A sandwich in structure. Two light shortbread pieces acting as the bread. Often stamped with a Victorian inspired Baroque design. And the filling was once a buttercream, but now is a custard flavored cream based on vanilla custard. Not egg custard.
08:43 John: Right, yeah. It’s, it’s that. Um, they’re nice. They are nice. Very moreish. Um, Ellionk, or Ellie, I think, when they’re not ‘Onk’ified, want’s to know ‘Favorite Supermarket: Tesco or Sainsbury’s?’ Um, well, both have gone downhill in recent years, I have to say. So, I’m going to go for neither and say co-op. Yeah, cause every now and again you find a really really good one. But if I’m in fantasy land, it’s M&S Foods or Waitrose. *clicks tongue* Yeah. Uh, there’s a chemistry question here from Ranger Pip which I don’t even begin to understand, so I’m going to move on. Sorry, Ranger Pip.
09:18 John (cont.): Right, last one! ‘Question for possibly John or Sherlock, not sure, lol. What is the story behind the theme tune. Just have to say whoever composed it, the musicians need an award and a shoutout on the podcast.’ Uh, yeah, well it’s a great theme tune, isn’t it? It really is. It’s called ‘Mad Prodigy’. *clears his throat pointedly*
09:39 Sherlock: Why are you making that noise?
09:41 John: Ah well, just saying mate.
09:43 Sherlock: I’m not mad. Or a prodigy.
09:46 John: Hey, uh, I-I’m not saying anything. Um, yeah, it’s it’s by a guy called Jody Jenkins. Uhhh, the reason why I don’t release it like some people asked me to is because it’s owned by a royalty free site. Um, *clicks tongue* the reason why Jody Jenkins doesn’t release it, is the same reason. I-it’s owned by a royalty free site. Uh, that’s generally how they work. I-I pay a fee. Well. Goalhanger pay a fee, use the track, and it belongs too…yeah. Audio Network. Um, I think he’s fab, yeah. But as far as crediting him out loud on the podcast, um, some artists don’t want royalty free work assigned to them. Um, they just do it for a paycheck. Some do. I don’t know him obviously and of course, I-I could piss off the company that actually owns the audio if I just mention him and uh, not-
10:34: *phone vibrates*
10:36 John: Message from Mariana. ‘You’re waffling. These people are paying us their hard earned money.’ Right! Soundproofing in these old houses aren’t what they used to be, are they? Um, *clicks tongue* yeah that’s the reason songwise. Nothing for or against Jody Jenkins. I’m just playing it safe cause these things s-scare me. *chuckles* Corporations and blech, yeah. Uh, horrible stuff.
10:54: *phone vibrates*
10:55 John: Um, message from Mariana. Right, yeah, I’m gonna wrap this up. Uh, thanks for your questions my lovely friends, we’ll be back soon. And, now to play us out, the one and only, Sherlock Holmes.
11:08 Sherlock: What?
11:08 John: Play! Play a song!
11:10 Sherlock *pleased*: Oh. Excellent! Uh, okay. Here we go!
11:14: *violin playing starts up*
11:17 John: Bye bye guys!
11:32: *sherlock’s violin playing cuts into Mad Prodigy
11:32-12:02 *Mad Prodigy carries us out to the end*
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bella-rose29 · 4 months
Text
Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - part 6
Christmas Day, and the final day (supposedly)
Word count: 4.8k (damn that's more than I originally intended to write for this part)
Warnings: unrealistic depictions of winter in Britain (it snows a lot), swearing, Lockwood gets a hug from reader's mum and can't cope, lockwood's lack of sleep is brought up, reader has Feelings and can't cope, Stephanie and Linda are bitches again and get an awful gift for reader, body image issues, lockwood shouts at Steph, mentions of Lockwood's family (and them being dead), Stephanie (she's a warning all on her own tbh), cliffhanger of an ending
the picture doesn't really match the vibes but it's one of the few where he's not wearing a suit 🤡 (but also look how babygirl he looks)
(image credit to lavenderghostco on pinterest)
series master list
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Lockwood hadn't slept.
Instead he had spent the night trying to get Y/n to hear him through the locked bathroom door, but then when he'd heard quiet music playing and realised that she'd taken her walkman with her and was sleeping in there he had given up, shifting to lean his back against the door and pull his knees up to his chest.
Then he had used the rest of the night to go over what had been said between the two of them, and how horribly wrong it had all gone.
Why couldn't she have waited another two seconds for him to finish talking?
And why couldn't he figure out how to properly apologise to her?
When the sun had finally risen and slightly blinded Lockwood as it streamed in through the curtains that hadn't been properly closed the night before, he stood up, shaking out his stiff limbs and stretching. He got changed into some fresh, more comfortable clothes, having stayed in his suit from the day before all night, and headed downstairs to make a cup of tea.
"Oh, hello Anthony!" Emma said when he walked in to the kitchen. "Are you... alright?" She was frowning, likely because the dark bags under his eyes were far more prominent from the severe lack of sleep.
"Yes, I'm alright thank you. Just didn't sleep too well last night." He smiled at her.
"Oh dear," Emma replied, putting the kettle on. "Is Y/n alright?"
"She's fine. She did sleep in the bathroom though because she felt a bit sick, but she was out like a light right away." An easy lie to tell about the situation they had found themselves in, and Emma was too distracted making tea to detect any falsehoods.
"As long as the two of you are okay now then that's all that matters. Here's a mug for you, love."
"Thank you." It was strange how easily he got used to being part of this family. He was moving around the kitchen with Emma as though they had been doing it their whole lives, and he suddenly felt a pang of pain as he remembered doing the same things with his own family. Lockwood stopped, staring down into his tea that was now swirling around in the mug and blinking away the tears that threatened to fall.
"Anthony? What is it, dear?"
"It's nothing," he said, wiping at his face quickly and offering up a smile. Emma saw through it, though, and placed a hand on his arm. A similar scene flashed through his mind from last night, and his chest ached even more at the memory of Y/n instinctively comforting him and how he had likely ruined any chance of that happening again.
"Aw, love. I know we don't really... know each other that well, but if you ever want to talk to me about anything you know that you can, right?"
"Yeah, thank you, Emma," he replied. For some reason he felt the need to step forward and wrap his arms around her, but after a few seconds of Emma standing still he awkwardly pulled back, raising a hand to scratch the back of his neck. "S-sorry. I don't know-" he was cut off by her hugging him just as tightly as she had Y/n when they first got to the house, and although he couldn't breathe too well he felt... at home.
"Never apologise, love," she mumbled into his hair, squeezing tightly. "Like I said, if you ever need me, you let me know." she stepped back then to hold him by the arms and look him in the eyes. Lockwood nodded, suddenly feeling five years old again, and dried his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. "Alright?"
"Yeah."
"Alright. Now, you take this up to Y/n and make sure she's somewhat dressed and downstairs, because I think everyone else is starting to get up now and we'll do presents in a bit."
Lockwood took the mug and picked up his own tea, heading out the room after a quick thanks to Emma. A thought struck him as he carefully carried the mugs upstairs, and he really hoped that Y/n had presents because otherwise they would be in deep shit.
~~~
"Y/n?" Lockwood's voice tentatively called out. She huffed from where she laid in the bathtub wrapped up in blankets. What did he want? "Y/n? I've... I've got tea for you out here. I'm just gonna leave it on the bedside table for you. Uh, your mum also said that we're gonna do presents and stuff in a bit so... come down when you're ready I guess." He paused for a moment, then said "Do you... do you have presents? Because I didn't actually get anything and now I'm starting to feel bad because your parents are actually really nice and so are your siblings and-"
"Lockwood! Shut up! I got presents, alright?!" She shouted, getting out of the bath. She bundled up the duvet and pillow and opened the door to a slightly dishevelled Lockwood, pushing past him to chuck the blankets on the bed and grab some clean clothes from the suitcase. He had clearly been running his hand through his hair from the way it was sticking up at funny angles, and the bags under his eyes were far more prominent. She frowned, wondering if he'd had any sleep at all last night.
"Alright, I uh... I'll just..." he walked into the bathroom, everything about his movements more unsure and nervous than Y/n had ever seen him.
She changed into the clothes she had picked up, and only realised once the jumper was pulled over her head that it wasn't her jumper she had on.
It was Lockwood's.
She didn't have time to change before he unlocked the bathroom door and came back into the bedroom, stopping short in his tracks when he looked up and saw her stood in the middle of the room in his jumper. "I- This wasn't deliberate."
"I know," he said quietly, and she almost scoffed when he looked at her with sadness in his eyes. What right did he have to look that way when he had said those words last night?
"You're right. I won't ever like you in the same way as the others."
They had played over and over as she tried to get to sleep, wondering how he had managed to sink to an even lower depth in causing her pain than he had before.
"Here," she said when the silence grew uncomfortable, bending down to grab the group of wrapped gifts at the bottom of the case and handing a few to Lockwood. "We should head down I suppose."
"Don't forget your tea. I'll uh- I'll see you down there," he offered up a small smile as he left.
As soon as the door shut behind him she heaved a sigh, eyeing the tea on the bedside table sat right where Lockwood had said it would be. There was no point in letting it get cold, so she waited until the mug had been drained before leaving and going downstairs.
~~~
The tea had been a good way to start preparing herself for Christmas Day with her family, but on seeing Lockwood again (despite it only having been about five minutes) she could feel herself drowning at the prospect of having to fake this relationship for another few hours. At least it was only a few hours, since they were catching the only train running on Christmas Day that afternoon.
"And the last one for you, Y/n! Sorry, Anthony, you've only got a couple because we had no idea what you wanted and only found out you were coming a few days ago!"
"Oh, you didn't have to get me anything at all, Emma, really," he beamed, and Y/n wondered how he could act so well. He had always had a flair for the dramatic, leaping at the chance to put on an accent for reconnaissance for a case, or coming up with ridiculously fabricated tales of fights with Visitors to boast to Kipps, but that wasn't anything compared to hiding the fact that he had argued with the daughter of the woman he was smiling at, and was pretending to date her and love her regardless.
"I won't ever like you in the same way."
That had hurt the most, and Y/n had spent much of her time awake attempting to figure out why. It wasn't the entire sentence about Lockwood not liking her in the same way as Lucy, George, and Holly, as that hadn't been the part that had been on repeat. No, for some reason it had been his admission that his feelings wouldn't change from the hatred they shared that made her want to rip her heart out every time she saw his smile.
"Nonsense!" her mother said as she sat back in her seat. "Alright everyone, get stuck in!"
The next ten minutes were a frenzy of paper being ripped into and presents being opened, and Lockwood and Y/n were curled up on the loveseat like they had on the first day quietly working their way through their piles. At least they had an excuse for not talking to each other, since their presents were taking up the majority of their attention.
At least they ought to have been.
One of Lockwood's arms was around her waist, hand resting lightly on her thigh while he watched her unwrap her remaining gifts. He had long since finished, having thanked Emma profusely for the box of chocolates and ten pound note that he'd been given. Y/n was finding it difficult to concentrate with Lockwood's warmth behind her, and he was doing that thing where he stroked his fingers over her skin. His hand had moved from her thigh to her stomach, fingers drifting under the fabric of the jumper she had accidentally stolen from him and tracing patterns absentmindedly. It seemed to be something that happened any time they were in this sort of position, and she was frustrated at how much she enjoyed it.
"You alright?" he whispered.
"Yep." She didn't look back at him, instead focusing on the plain envelope she now held in her hands and frowning at it.
"Oh!" Stephanie cried out, and Y/n had forgotten just how annoying her voice was since they had barely interacted the day before. "That's from us! It's... well. Why don't you open it up?" If the smirk on Stephanie and Linda's faces were anything to go by, it wouldn't be Y/n's favourite gift she received this year.
"What is it?" Lockwood asked from behind her, peering over her shoulder at the piece of card that had been inside. "A coupon or a gift card or something?"
"Gym membership, Lockwood. They got me a gym membership." Dammit, her voice was shaking and her eyes were prickling with unshed tears, and worst of all she knew that Lockwood could tell. She hated that she leaned ever so slightly further into his body. She hated that when he brought his free hand around her to properly wrap her in a hug she was painfully aware of Stephanie and Linda watching every movement, and could feel their judgement of her body.
Then she hated that she felt safe and protected in Lockwood's embrace, like nothing could hurt her as long as he was holding her.
There was nothing wrong with how she looked, and it wasn't her fault that Stephanie was a size 2 (probably, Y/n had never bothered to ask) and liked to gloat about it frequently, but the cut ran deep and had done for years. When Y/n stood up and left much like she had on the first day, she wasn't surprised to see the triumphant look on her cousin's face.
~~~
Lockwood was fuming, but this time he couldn't set anything on fire.
To be fair, he hadn't been allowed to set anything on fire the previous times it had happened, and multiple of those accounts of arson were Lucy's fault, not his, but he still wanted to burn something.
How dare they give a fucking gym membership as a Christmas present?! What did they think they would achieve in doing so?! Stephanie and Linda clearly looked proud of themselves, and the sight of their faces made Lockwood feel sick when he remembered how Y/n's body had tensed up and curled into him more at the piece of card in the envelope.
Taking his chance after Y/n left the room, Lockwood stood up, then headed over to Stephanie. "Can we talk?" he asked, although the tone he used made it clear that he wouldn't be taking no for an answer. He led her out into the hallway, then into the kitchen for good measure, and his remaining restraint snapped with the sound of the door closing. "Are you out of your mind?" He hadn't shouted, instead keeping his voice as calm as he could, but he knew that his anger was barely contained behind his gritted teeth.
"I don't know what you mean," Stephanie simpered, and Lockwood took a step closer to her.
"A gym membership?!"
Steph shrugged. "She needs it. She's really let herself go the last-"
"No, she hasn't. And I would fucking know, because I live with her. She is perfect the way she is, alright? And you have no right - absolutely none - to give her that sort of thing as a Christmas present. It really just proves that you have no idea who she is, and that you're a fucking terrible person."
"Oh, like you're so honourable!" she spat.
"What's going on?" Emma's voice sounded, and the kitchen door opened to show the rest of Y/n's family that were still in the house. "Why is there shouting?"
"Y/n's little boyfriend here is accusing me of not knowing my own cousin!"
"Because you don't!"
"And you know more about her than me, do you?!"
"It looks like it, yes!"
"Everything was so much better before you turned up, do you know that? Why don't you scurry back to whatever shithole you and your parents live in and we'll carry on with our lives, yeah?" Lockwood flinched.
"Stephanie! Linda, please, can't you do something?!" Emma pleaded. She sent a quiet apology to Lockwood, looking distressed at how quickly Christmas Day had fallen into arguments.
"She's right, Emma. If he wasn't here then everything would be right again. Why don't we keep Y/n here for a few more days, and he can go back to his sad little life with his parents." He flinched again, barely having time to compose himself before Linda was smiling sweetly at him.
"I would, Linda, but I am not leaving my girlfriend here with you."
"Well," Stephanie started. "Why don't you invite your family up here then? I'm sure we'd all love to meet the people that raised such a... lovely... person!"
"Once again, I would," Lockwood said, as nonchalantly as he could, "but I very much doubt that you'd find much to talk to them about."
"Are they deaf or something?" Lockwood saw Y/n through her brothers' bodies, and she was trying to push past them to join him in the kitchen.
"Something like that," he smiled, hoping they couldn't see the sadness in it. Technically his family was deaf, since they were unable to hear anything on account of the fact that they were dead. Y/n stumbled forward, having finally been let through, and she righted herself and walked over to where Lockwood was stood.
"You alright?" she asked, her voice quiet so that only he could hear. "Just heard them mention your family and stuff, and Steph can be really mean about literally everything and I didn't want you to be on your own for that."
"Oh." He blinked in surprise. He hadn't thought that she would care too much since she'd ignored him and hated him thoroughly since last night. "I'm alright; I can deal with it, don't worry." His smile was soft, and for a brief moment he thought he might be breaking through to the Y/n he had come to know over the past two days before everything went wrong, but then the blinds were snapped shut and he was blocked out again.
~~~
Lunch was interesting.
Emma and Ben had slaved for hours to get everything ready, having left the morning celebrations at various points to put things in the ovens, or chop things, or do anything that was needed, and mid-afternoon their hard work was served up on huge plates to the family.
"Thank you, this looks incredible," Lockwood said, and Emma grinned.
"You're very welcome, Anthony!" She sat down in her seat, making sure everybody had food on their plates before taking up her cracker. Y/n's grandparents needed her brothers talking directly into their ears to explain what was happening over the noise of everyone else, and it took a full five minutes to get everybody with crackers in hand and arms crossed over before they could be pulled.
Hats were put on, and pictures taken on the family camera (and then Y/n asked Will to take some on her personal camera too), and finally they could start eating. People read out their jokes and trivia, and while the laughter of various family members was loud, Y/n couldn't help but feel like it was all muffled and distant. She was underwater again, her ears filled with water as she tried swimming up to the surface, but the weight of her cousin's gaze was dragging her down into the depths again.
Then a hand was on her arm, gentle but enough of a pressure that she was being pulled upwards, and Lockwood's voice was in her ear.
"Hey, are you alright? You zoned out for a minute there and I had to rescue your potato from going off the side of your plate."
Sure enough, her fork was pushing the contents of her plate closer to the edge, and she quickly let go of her cutlery to stop it. The knife and fork landed with a clatter, and while conversation didn't stop, it did die down as people looked in her direction. "I'm fine," she replied, knowing she was the opposite. Lockwood appeared to know too, because he was still frowning.
"Are you su-"
"Yes," she said harshly, and he flinched back.
"Okay, sorry." He turned back to his own food, and they didn't speak for most of the rest of the meal.
~~~
"Book!"
"Play?"
"It's a book, you idiot!"
"John, don't call Sam an idiot!"
"Mum, you can't talk when doing a charade," Will said, and he received a glare in response.
"How do you reckon the others are getting on with their holidays?" Y/n asked, and Lockwood was surprised at her question.
"I imagine they're all having wonderful times," he replied, revelling in the smile that graced Y/n's face. It was a shame that the cause of the smile wasn't him, but he only had himself to blame for that.
"That's good. At least most of the company is enjoying Christmas."
Somewhere in the house, a phone started ringing. Ben got up to answer.
"I'm enjoying it," Lockwood said, and Y/n swivelled in her seat a little to look at him. "Besides the obvious, of course."
"Me?"
"No," he huffed. "Why do you keep thinking that you're the last person I want to spend Christmas with?"
"Because you literally said that you wouldn't enjoy a second of it?"
"Well that was a lie, wasn't it? Honestly, do you not remember anything I told you last night about me having a nice time here instead of the usual shitty Christmases since I was six?" That was apparently the wrong thing to say, because Y/n froze up and stopped smiling.
"I remember last night, yeah," she mumbled, turning her back to him again. Shit.
"Thinking about it," he said, attempting to salvage the situation, "I haven't seen any baby photos of you yet."
"Be my guest." Her tone was bland, and Lockwood started internally cursing himself for bringing up the night before.
"Y/n, I'm sorry for what I said, alright? I was a dick and I should have explained myself better. Would you-"
"THE BIBLE! IT'S THE BIBLE!"
"YES!"
"WHAT?! THE BIBLE? THAT'S A CHARADE?!"
"Would you hear me out? Please? When we get a moment later," he asked, trying to mask the amount of desperation in his voice.
"You better have a good excuse, Anthony, because you really hurt me, and if you fuck up again I'm leaving."
"Leaving? What, like leaving the house?"
"Leaving the company."
Lockwood thought his heart might give out. "Wh- wha- what do you mean, leave the company?"
"I can't keep doing this, okay? I can't get up every morning just to be verbally abused by you all the time. It's not healthy for me, at all. I have to look out for myself, alright?"
"...Right. Yeah, no, that's... that makes sense." He was still reeling from her confession, so when Y/n's grandmother Jean tapped him on the shoulder he nearly jumped out of his skin. Y/n hadn't noticed, instead joining in with the ongoing game of charades.
"Why don't you take this, dear," she said, giving him a wink and handing over a sprig of some sort of plant.
"Uh... thank you?"
"Mistletoe. You know, it was originally a sign of peace, and if people met underneath it then they had to stop fighting, no matter what. Sounds like you two might need it," she smiled, but unlike Stephanie or Linda there was only love behind it. Lockwood stared down at the plant he held in his hand, but when he went to thank Jean for the gift she had already gone back to whatever conversation she was having with Tom, her previous chat long forgotten.
"I've got some news," Y/n's father Ben exclaimed as he walked back into the room, and everybody turned to look at him.
"What is it? Why do you sound so worried?"
"Nobody is going to be able to travel anywhere for about a week. I just got a phone call from Ted at the office." Lockwood felt Y/n tense beside him, and he tried not to do the same.
"What do you mean, Dad?"
"Snow warning. Weather officials are saying that a snow storm is going to hit us today and we'll all be snowed in. All trains are cancelled for the next week, and then after that it's unclear."
"What? So we're stuck here for another week?" Y/n asked, and Lockwood heard the panic creeping into her voice. This wasn't good at all, especially since he and Y/n now had to continue faking it for an extra seven days when they were back to hating each other. He needed to fix things and fast, or this holiday would continue to derail and end in flames.
"Sorry, love. I know you wanted to get back before the New Year."
"Yeah," she whispered, looking down at the ground. "Shit."
~~~
"Can we... can we talk?" Lockwood asked once they had a moment to breathe. After the news that they would be here for another week Y/n had excused herself and headed upstairs, and Lockwood had apparently followed.
"What is there to talk about, Lockwood?"
"Well don't we need to rethink? Originally we were only here for three days, and that was manageable. Now we're here for an extra week minimum? I don't know, call me crazy but I really do think we need to figure out how we're going to do this." He was running his hand through his hair again (what was in his other one, was that mistletoe?), but he stopped when Y/n looked him dead in the eyes and answered him.
"You're crazy." She didn't even know why he had the plant, unless he was planning on kissing her again and then ripping her heart out afterwards. Y/n went over to the windows to pull open the blinds the rest of the way to ignore the memory of his mouth on hers. They hadn't been properly closed the night before, and with how the sun rose directly through the windows Lockwood had probably been blinded by it that morning and woken up. He looked far too sleep deprived for him to have woken up at half seven in the morning though.
"Ok, well at the very least can we talk about last night?"
Y/n had stopped by the windows, staring out at the landscape and ignoring Lockwood's question.
"Y/n?"
"Holy shit." Where normally the view was the lake nearby and the forest in the distance, rolling fields spreading out in the foreground, now it had been coated in a blanket of white as far as the eye could see.
"What is it?"
"Just... just come and look." He did, hesitantly coming over to stand beside her and drawing in a breath at the landscape.
"Holy shit."
"That's what I said. Fuck. I was hoping it wouldn't be that bad and we could still find a way to get home."
"Yeah, we're not going anywhere in this. I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?" she frowned, turning her head to look at him. "You're not the snow god who deliberately penned us in my family home for an extra week."
"No, I'm not." Lockwood went quiet, staring out the window but not actually seeing anything, his eyes unfocused as he got wrapped up in his head. "Can we talk about last night? Please?" Y/n looked out the window again.
"What for? I think you said everything I needed to hear."
"I didn't, though. You didn't let me finish saying what I was going to say before you went and shut yourself in the bathroom." His tone was desperate, and Y/n half thought he might start getting on his knees and begging. A memory came back to her of her doing the same thing only a few days ago when she begged him to come with her on this mad venture. He'd been laughing then.
"Well I don't know that I want to know what I missed."
"I was going to say that I won't ever like you in the same way as the others, because I can't. I don't think I realised that until it was too late, but I can't like you in the same way I like George, or Lucy, or Holly, because I think that I'm-"
"Right!" Stephanie shouted, shoving open the door. She stopped short at the sight of Y/n and Lockwood stood so close together, and then again at the pain on Lockwood's face. Y/n hadn't realised that as Lockwood had been talking, he had been inching closer in his attempt to get her to listen to him. They were practically touching now, and Stephanie glanced between them both until they stepped back a little. "You two," she said, jabbing a finger in their direction once she'd remembered what she was there for, "have ruined my Christmas, I hope you know that!" Y/n shared a look with Lockwood. "So watch out, alright? Because I'm coming for you both!" she shrieked, and slammed the door on her way out.
Y/n and Lockwood stood staring at the door for a while before Lockwood spoke up. "Did she seem okay to you?"
"I think she's having some sort of breakdown."
"I thought so too."
"Sort of looked like a banshee or something."
"Especially with the hair all crazy like that, did you see?"
"She'll definitely have a breakdown when she sees that birds are nesting in it, for sure." It felt easy all of a sudden, and conversing with Lockwood wasn't as hard as it had been a couple of hours ago. There was hope, she realised. Hope that he really did have something nice to say. He wouldn't have looked quite so ridiculously desperate for her attention otherwise. She ignored the way that butterflies started fluttering in her stomach at the thought of Lockwood craving her attention so badly. Before this whole ordeal she would have simply felt smug about having the upper hand.
"I really didn't mean it in a hurtful way, Y/n. Although I can see how it came across like that."
"Well what did you mean, Lockwood? Because you did hurt me. And now we're fucking snowed in for a week longer than we planned and Steph is on a rampage. And when Steph is on a rampage she will absolutely have what it takes to uncover this whole fake relationship thing, despite having, like, zero brain cells the rest of the time."
He sighed, clenching his jaw in frustration. "I can't feel the same way because I'm pretty sure I've-" he paused, then took a breath. Why was he taking so long to say something that could make their entire situation easier? He looked uncertain again, and Y/n started feeling nervous.
Lockwood was never uncertain. He was Anthony bloody Lockwood.
Then when he spoke, she realised why.
part 7
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Tag list (there are so many people that if I forgot to add you then please let me know and I'll do that right away!): @ahead-fullofdreams, @aislinrayne, @anathemaloren, @anthgoldenhrry, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @aysha4life, @bobbys-not-that-small, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @edible-rat-vomit, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @ettadear, @fearlessmoony, @fudosl, @idkbubs, @imaginebeingmentallystable, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @light-23, @locklyebrainrot, @locklyle1kanij, @locknco, @mentallyillsodapop, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @newbooksmell777, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @phlooper, @ran23sblog, @simrah1012, @somethingrandomwatzit, @star-of-velaris, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife, @y0urm0m12
let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the tag list! <3
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tea-n-ink · 8 months
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So i made a Swap AU
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more doodles under cut
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references:
Swapped Link and Midna Au by @/mimiadraws
Troubled Birds Meme and Cat knife meme
This onion article
Danganronpa V3 As Fandub Quotes | Animatic | Collab w/ SporkWizard by livarachii (for the pose) and this vine for the audio
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NERD!MIGUEL IS SO REAL I LUV HIM <3333
NERD!MIGUEL IS THERE I KNOW IT
Like...You saw what he said to Gwen when she called it a watch (which IT IS).
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[omg she's so tiny small next to him]
He's a NERD. He thinks this stuff is COOL. He's WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK.
Like I imagine he's used to it by now - people's eyes glazing over when he begins to explain something technical or program-y, like Lyla's algorithms or the Multiverse Anti-Glitch feature of the watches.
He's put SO much work into all of this, the whole facility and the tech.
He made Lyla himself, but he knows that most people aren't really interested in that. So he's learned to simplify things.
If you ask a question, like how he made Lyla - he'll answer it basic and to the point.
_-_ 'She's an AI. She's my assistant and the notification system within your watch.'
He probably won't even look up from his work, thinking it's just the routine questions everyone asks before moving on to the next thing.
BUT IF YOU ASK FURTHER - Miguel's like
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Because it's not often someone actually like...does that.
It's probably very rare that someone shows interest in his technological, engineering, or physics studies - all of which he's INCREDIBLY talented at and actively working on
You ask him how long it took him to make her, he says a year or two.
You tell him how impressive that is and BOOM NERD!Miguel.
He's telling you how her voice detection took the longest, and how her multiverse-monitoring probability algorithm was something he had to tweak twenty thousand times.
You compliment him about the design of the watch, he's like
_-_ 'I still have the protypes.' And he's ready to show you different ones, different shapes and materials he considered using, but eventually ruled out through experiments and tests
AND DON'T GET HIM STARTED ON THEORIES OH GODDDD
You mention the words 'String Theory' or 'Time Dilation' around him and you will NEVER hear the end of it.
He has so many opinions on it he's never had the chance to share.
Ideas and theories about things like fourth dimensions, worm holes, black holes, and dozens of other theoretical scientific concepts.
I mean, he MADE time travel. He is an EXPERT in that stuff.
I would KILL to have a Time Travel Movie Marathon with Miguel.
Sitting on the couch and watching things like Back to the Future, and he describes what they got right, what would be impossible, how it could work in theory.
He probably talks through the whole movie, and picks each one apart. You watch Doctor Who and he WILL NOT SHUT UP.
He's probably AMAZIINNGG at math.
Like math IS science. It's the answer for science. So he's probably a natural master.
You can be like 'Miguel, What's 34% of 12,967?' - Without blinking he'd be like
_-_'...I'm guessing 4408, or something? I don't know, am I right? Ask Lyla, don't ask me.'
But you don't need to ask Lyla cause HE'S RIGHT
HISTORY TOO!
I mean... the man time-travels. I think he'd have at least a good grasp on history, and time periods. Thinks like ancient roman historians and how their thoughts effect modern science, and how certain events effected the flow of time throughout history.
I imagine he finds it so fascinating, seeing the vast differences that can span in universes, just from one small change. Maybe he even finds comfort in it, seeing how histories and stories have a natural flow in a way fiction can only hope to imitate.
I love me some Nerd!Miguel.
I wanna get in bed with Miguel and by that I mean I want to sit next to him as he sits in bed reading a book on the Theory of Relativity with reading spectacles and a mug of sleepytime tea okay
A Miguel who runs up to his partner like 'Read this,' and he's all proud as he hands you a notepad full of numbers. But to him it's a formula he's been working WEEKS on, one that'll make Lyla run smoother, and everything much easier and he wants you to think he's cool for it
A Miguel who spends date nights watching NatGeo documentaries for fun
NERDY NERD MIGUEL DORKY MILD NERDY MIGUEL
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drconstellation · 6 months
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Dr Constellation's Good Omens Master Post of Metas
(Updated 05 April 2024)
See my Google Doc for a full list of Tumblr posts of interest.
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Future Echos of the Past
The story of the Great War in Heaven as it appears in the present
#1: The Great War of Tadfield Manor #2: The Newton/Crowley Mirror/Parallel in S1 #3: "Not Even At Gunpoint"
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Archangel Gabriel
Supreme Archangel Gabriel often stands on the demonic left-hand side in scene blocking, rather than the angelic right. He’s also fond of taking center stage! Gabriel as a Shoulder Angel: S1 Study S2 Study Part 1: Ep.1 The Arrival and Ep. 2 The Clue S2 Study Part 2: Ep.3 I Know Where I'm Going and Ep. 5 The Ball S2 Study Part 3: Ep.6 Every Day First-Order Archangels Part 1: Maybe You'll See An Archangel
Gabriel and Crowley act as both parallels and foils to each other in S2. In Part 1 we look at some of the ways they are alike.
First-Order Archangels Part 2: Foils of War
Part 2 takes a look at where Gabriel and Crowley oppose one another, as well as highlighting some parallels between their respective partners, Beelzebub and Aziraphale.
First-Order Archangels Part 3: Seeing Eye To Eye
Gabriel and Crowley both have an interesting connection to time.
The Assistant Book Seller
Jim’s knitted vest holds a wealth of symbolic information - and a surprise nod that you didn’t expect.
Giles the Herald
An interesting parallel to Gabriel at the end of S1.
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Aziraphale's Edinburgh Journey
Part 1: Detective Aziraphale
One of the reasons Aziraphale goes to Edinburgh is because it is a narrative parallel to Crowley’s trip to Heaven. There are also a couple of other things we need to consider, too.
Part 2: Aziraphale-Beelzebub Parallels
While Gabriel is Crowley’s mirror in S2, Beelzebub is Aziraphale’s. And there is a third character that makes an interesting mirror-triangle analysis that combines and reflects both major characters together as well.
Part 3: Stocktaking in the Basement
Part 4: Judgement Day - coming soon
Part 5: I Know Where I'm Going - coming soon
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Archangel Rings
All the Archangels have golden rings, as well as Aziraphale. Find out what they reveal about each character.
The Golden Lions of Heaven (includes Aziraphale's Lion ring) Michael the Watchful Uriel's Star Ring The Brutal Truth about Sandalphon's Ring
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A Companion to Owls minisode
Goats, Crows and The Flood
Crawley turns Job's goats into crows to save them. Why crows? And how does this link to the Flood?
Angelic Sheep and Demonic (Scape)Goats
Understanding the link between goats and demons gives you a deeper insight into Crowley's story - and also some of Aziraphale's.
Come Back When You Can Make A Whale
Take a deep dive into the Book of Job - and find out what it might be foreshadowing for S3
Aye, a Newt
Why Job’s children are turned into geckos, and a S1 connection.
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Crossing the Threshold
Inside the Dirty Donkey
We’re going to the pub! What secrets does the Dirty Donkey hide behind its name?
Lifting the Veil on the Bentley
Peering behind the meaning of the Bentley’s number plate.
Memento mori
This is one of the major themes of the series - Remember that you die.
Obligatory Reminders and Crossing the Lines
Have you been wondering why Shax tries to do a mail delivery to Crowley as he escorts the shop keepers to safety from Aziraphale's Eldritch Ball? It seems a pretty random thing to do at that moment.
Stand-Alone Metas
The Ineffable Ducks
What are all those ducks doing? Ever got the feeling that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you…?
The Altar of Eccles Cakes
The Eccles cakes don’t look like they are doing much, but they are there for a reason - so is some of the other food you see.
The Cupperty Ceremony
Every bit of food and drink in both seasons has a metaphorical significance. Tea is no exception. It’s one of the few times an eastern philosophy creeps into Good Omens, but still meets with a western ideal.
When Crowley Met Jesus, and The Other Demon at Golgotha
Aziraphale suggests not one but two demon names to Crowley when they meet at Golgotha. Together they make a clever joke about the Third Temptation that most people miss.
Being Kind to One Another
Some clever and subtle word play on kind, linked between two scenes in the S1E3 Hard Times cold opening.
Once and Future Royalty
There’s a King Arthur and Camelot sub-theme running through parts of S1 And S2. Grab your coconuts and saddle up for a crazy ride through time and space!
Portable People
Crowley's yeeting them around while stress-cleaning the bookshop, Jimbriel is trying to sell them to the investigating archangels, and Muriel just wants to read them all. Should we give a second thought to any of these books?.
Bebop and the Book
Why can Anathema always put her hand on the right card at the right time?
Chiastic Structure of S1
Chiastic structure is a literary device where the story line is mirrored in reverse around a central point. S1 has an amazingly detailed chiastic structure, which actually reveals and confirms some meta speculations!
Chiastic Structure of S2
S1 was a fantastic example of a mirrored story line. S2 …isn’t. But there are still a substantial number of chiastic pairs to be found.
Liberty versus the Tree of Life
A philosophical look at the choices between coffee, freewill and death compared to access to the Trees of Knowledge and Life in the Garden of Eden.
Taking Things At Face Value
How our internalized values influence the way we judge people, often based on their outward appearance alone.
The Rules of Engagement
The Technicalities of Licenses, Permits and the Limits of Authority in Good Omens
If you are looking for more metas there is a group effort on this google doc here: Good Omens Crackpotting Theory Tracker This brings a lot of ops together in the one place.
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🔎🐝 This is a master post of my Sherlock Holmes fanfiction which you can also find on Ao3! 🐝🔎
For details and warnings, follow the links to AO3, it's included in tags there.
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The Absolute Truth of the Matter
On the way to Rosenlaui, Holmes falls behind to face Moriarty alone. When it is instead Watson who encounters the Professor at the Reichenbach Falls, events take an unexpected turn.
Or: Watson does a few ridiculously courageous things and there is a crack in Holmes's lens.
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The Case of the Lost Cat
Annie hesitated, nervously turning the apple in her hands, lowering her gaze. “I must tell you first,” she mumbled, “that I can’t pay your fee, Mr Holmes, b-but I can help in the garden, or –“ „Oh, but lost animal cases are always free of charge,” Holmes said casually, folding the newspaper and throwing it onto the floor next to his armchair. He is, as I have often stated, really a rather brilliant man.
After the Great War, Holmes and Watson are living a quiet life somewhere in Sussex. The days of great detective work lie in the past, but when a distressed young client asks them for help with finding her lost cat, Holmes and Watson have to solve a case that might turn out to be just beyond their limits.
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Flowery Prose
Holmes rarely read to me, and never like this.
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The Return of Dr Watson
I think of myself as a practical woman. I am proud to say that I have always been able to manage my household in the most efficient manner, purchasing only what is of good quality without requiring any unnecessary expenses. I have one possession, however, that is an exception to that rule. This is the story of how not only one but two of my tenants returned to Baker Street, and how I came to own one of London’s finest tea services as a result.
Mr Holmes returns. Dr Watson leaves. Mrs Hudson realises that London’s greatest detective might require a little assistance with winning the good doctor back.
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