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#Team wasn't cutting nearly enough
bsaka7 · 11 months
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BEAT AN UNDEFEATED TEAM AND I FEEL LIKE MY TEAM MATES LIKE ME AND A HOT GIRL WHO I PLAYED AGAINST AND THOUGHT WAS HOT IN COLLEGE WAS NICE TO ME #FRISNATION
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fangswbenefits · 11 months
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Another Chance
𓂅 𓄹 Summary: You go into labour and all you know is that you need Miguel more than ever.
𓂅 𓄹 Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x spider-woman!reader
Mentions of childbirth. Dad Miguel. Comfort. Fluff. Happy father’s day to the best of the best!
“I'M GONNA KILL MIGUEL O’HARA!”
Usually, that sort of threat would send everyone that was standing around you into an uproar. But given the extremely specific set of circumstances, they merely exchanged understanding glances, returning their attention to the task at hand.
“Jess… I’m going to kill him.”
The pain of the contractions felt too unbearable and gritting out empty threats was the only relief you could find right now.
“You have my blessing,” she nodded, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "But for now, we need to deliver the baby."
It was too early. This wasn't supposed to happen right now... not like this.
A spider-nurse approached you with a fetal heart monitor to strap around your belly. Your already accelarated heart nearly imploded at the sight, fearing what the machine might reveal.
"Jess... I can't do this..." your voice broke.
Where is he...
Where is Miguel?
Your friend glared at you with kind eyes, swipping a piece of cloth along your sweat-drenched forehead. "You can and you will."
As another contraction tore through your body, you barely managed to grab the railings of your bed with a huff of pain. The spider-nurse was done setting the monitor and was now probing your arm for a vein.
"Where is Miguel?" you managed through laboured pants. "Lyla... where is he?"
The AI's hologram appeared from the watch on your wrist, that Jess promptly removed. You gave her a confused look, but it was probably for the better.
"He should be here soon. The anomaly is—" Lyla was cut off immediately by Jess.
The heart monitor was switched on and the room went suddenly eerily too quiet, save for your gasps.
Tense seconds rolled by that felt like excrutiating hours, until the sound of a thudding heart was heard.
"Slightly accelerated heartrate going at 191 beats per minute," spider-doctor informed. "The baby might be in distress."
Panic took over. "Do something! Miguel!"
The team attending you were working relentlessly, but no consolation came. The pain was borderline unbearable and your fear for your child's life.
... and Miguel was not here.
"You need to push," one spider-nurse said.
"Push," Jess urged. "You're doing great," she added with a warm smile.
She kept trying her best to soothe and guide you through the untimely turmoil, but it wasn't until your eyes caught a flash of two sets of claws tearing through the barrier of time and space in the middle of the room that you allowed yourself to slump back into your bed.
A cry of relief broke from deep within you as a fully suited Miguel O'hara emerged through the portal, sprinting to your side. The mask vanished instantly as he framed your face with both hands.
"I'm here."
You started sobbing uncontrollably when he planted a kiss to your forehead.
"Boss, she's fully dilated," spider-doctor spoke. "We really need her to push now."
"Miguel... this wasn't..." you stammered, gritting your teeth as the crescendo of another contraction began. "Where... I—”
He hushed you and anchored you through the pain. "You have to push, okay?"
Compared to a few minutes ago, Miguel's presence was nothing short of absolute comfort. But it wasn't enough the push away the fear that had overtaken you.
Jess was still by your side, whispering encouraging words as the staff worked in between your spread legs. Your vision blurred momentarily and you felt the sudden and overwhelming urge to push.
"This is all your... fault," you seethed at Miguel.
"On that much we can agree," he said softly, his thumbs brushing away the tears that mixed with sweat down your cheeks. "Push."
Blaming him was just a quick way to ease some of the frustration. He wasn't to blame. You had both wanted this.
"I can see the head!" you heard someone announce.
Miguel offered his hand for you to grip as you pushed. "I'll break it," you warned.
"You won't."
"He deserves it," Jess said teasingly.
But Miguel was right. As strong as you were — and the strength that women in labour were capable of mustering — you wouldn't even cause a dent in him. He was strong enough for the both of you.
"What´s taking so long?" his faint voice filled your ears.
"Almost there."
Suddenly, he had cradled your face in his large hands once more, forcing your eyes to fix on his. "You can do this. I'm so proud of you," he said, pecking the tip of your nose.
The air in your lungs was suddenly forced out with a finally throat-ripping grunt.
"It's here!"
You collapsed, feeling Miguel's arm promptly offering support on your back. A screeching sound of distress reverberated through the walls.
"It's a girl," one spider-nurse informed.
Even through your hazy eyes you were able to see Miguel's face, eyes transfixed on the little squirming baby that was being placed on your chest.
She was crying her heart out as someone who has been ripped from all the comfort and security a place could offer.
But now she had you and Miguel.
"She takes after you," you teased with a faint smile. "Already being so dramatic."
He chuckled, eyes permanently glued to the wailing baby. "I'm not dramatic. Just intense."
"Yes. Intensely dramatic.”
Miguel fell silent as he stroked a finger along the back of one soft tiny hand, miniscule fingers wrapping around it reflexively. The cries stopped abruptly.
His face softened and you wondered if he was about to tear up. He had longed for this for such a long time.
"Miguel?" Jessica said, covering your child with a towel.
He seemed too lost in his own thoughts, glaring at his daughter in a way that overwhelmed you. Like it was meant to be.
"I'll be going now," she said, offering you both a warm smile before leaving.
Suddenly, you realised Miguel was inspecting each limb with utmost attention. "What are you doing?"
He cleared his throat, placing a tiny hand on the palm of his. "Oh... uh... just counting how many fingers and toes she has."
"All five?" you offered with a chuckle.
"All five."
"No talons?"
He glared at you as if taken aback, then smiled. "Maybe one day."
"Do you think she'll have your fangs?"
"Oh, I hope not," he said, slowly checking the baby's bare gums. "That would be painful."
You then allowed yourself to take in the sight of your now relaxed daughter that lay on top of you. The wispy beginnings of hair that covered the top of her head were dark. Babies don't tend to resemble either parent when they're born - or so Miguel had once told you - and you couldn't wait to find out.
"What if... she doesn't like me?" he whispered, caressing a puffy cheek.
You almost chuckled, but he was dead serious. "She'll love you."
He leaned to place a kiss to your temple. "Thank you."
"For what?" you asked, feeling your heart bursting with absolute adoration for him.
"For giving me another chance at being a father."
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ddejavvu · 6 months
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omg part two for hotch scrolling through your ig pretty please 😭😭 like IMAGINE penelope gathering the rest of the gang so they can collectively stalk your instagram and she accidentally likes one of your pictures while lurking
Penelope isn't often scared of Hotch, because the man has a soft spot for her, and she knows it. But now he's staring at her with a stern glare, something she's not usually on the receiving end of. She shifts on her heels, strangely speechless.
"Sir? Is everything okay?"
He lets her suffer in silence for a moment longer, then gestures towards his phone face-up on the desk. It's lit up with a text notification, and she faintly recognizes the name that it's attached to.
Y/N Y/L/N: Isn't this your computer whiz?
"Open it." Hotch instructs, his voice unfailingly calm, which sets Penelope even further on edge. She reaches out with a trembling finger to tap on the notification and it opens your thread, the screen entirely consumed with a screenshot you'd taken of your instagram. Sure enough, in your notifications page is a note: baby_girl_penny_g liked your photo.
"Um," Penelope stalls, and despite her rampant creativity, she can't bring herself to fib, "Well, I- the tags were-"
"There were no hashtags," Hotch stops her in her tracks, "The only way you could have found that photo was on her profile. How long ago was that posted?"
Penelope scrolls to the bottom of the post even though she doesn't want to, and mutters "2018."
"Five years ago. Five-" Hotch steels himself before he gets too upset, pinching the slim bridge of his nose, "Garcia, did Morgan tell you about this?"
"it wasn't his fault," She pleads his case, "I could tell there was something on his mind! So I got him, like, super drunk, and we-"
"Penelope, this was none of your business." Hotch speaks over her. He doesn't like cutting her off, but he knows her, and she'll talk for hours just to try and weasel her way back into his good graces. He watches her squirm with a stern expression, hands folded on his desk while he clenches his jaw.
"I won't tell anyone else." She promises weakly, and Aaron raises a single eyebrow at her. Secret-keeping is not her forte, and they both know it.
"Okay, so-" She crumples, "I- I totally will. But Hotch, we're gonna be happy for you! I'm already happy for you, you deserve this! You deserve love, even if you try to use this job as an excuse not to find it! You found it, and you should own it."
"I purposefully did not share the status of my relationship with our team. It was meant to be private."
Penelope regains some of her boldness now, even in the face of Hotch's scowl, "Well tough shit, Hotchner! We love you, and we were all there when you lost Haley! We watched you die inside, and we deserve to watch you live again! We are part of your family, Hotch, whether you like it or not, and we're not gonna walk away just because you get snippy with us! So help me, Hotch, I will handcuff myself to you until you realize that we are here. We are here, and we love you, and we always will! You can tell us about your life, because we want to enjoy it with you."
Perhaps she shouldn't have been so forward. Perhaps she shouldn't have said the H-word, or brought up Hotch's infuriating tendency to distrust people's care for him not out of malice, but out of self-loathing. Perhaps she should have hung her head and apologized, but Penelope Garcia is headstrong, and she does not fear the tense wrath of Aaron Hotchner simply for loving him.
For a moment, she worries that she's flaunted a red cape around a bull. Reid's words echo in her mind about how it's nothing to do with the color red, and everything to do with the movement of the fabric, but now is not the time, Doctor Reid, thank you very much. She waits for him to charge, knows he'll withdraw now that she's faced him with the terror of being known, of being cared for, and she can feel her heart sink to the nearly-numb heels of her feet.
Then something in his jaw shifts, and he glances away from her, blinking.
"Thank you." He murmurs, and she thinks she may have heard him wrong.
"What?" She whispers, and he gnaws at the inside of his cheek, caving it in.
"Thank you. For being firm with me." He clarifies, "I... I'm glad that you're here."
Tears spring to her eyes and she nods vigorously, incapable of speech but overflowing with emotion. He swallows, clearing his throat, "In the future, please do not stalk my romantic partners. And... in the future, I will introduce you, so that you don't need to stalk them."
"Okay," She grins through her misty eyes, letting him steer the conversation back towards his comfort zone, "Okay, Hotch. We love you. And- and we're really happy for you, and can I please go and tell the others?"
He laughs despite himself, and doesn't bother steeling himself into composure anymore. He grins, "Fine. But leave out the details of her most recent posts, please."
"The ones where she talks about being sore in the mornings?" She fixes him with a devious grin, already making for the door intent on shouting the news from the rooftops, "I won't say it in the bullpen, 'cause Reid couldn't handle it, but I'm totally gossiping with the girls about it, Hotch."
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maxislvt · 7 months
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Succubus Season
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pairing(s): succubus! wanda maximoff x reader, brief natasha romanoff x reader
summary: Just when your life starts to come together, life throws another curve ball at you. Except this time it isn't a bully or a shitty English teacher. This curve ball is seven feet tall with horns and a lot of pent-up sexual energy.
warnings: jealousy, possessive thoughts/behavior, AMAB!Reader, dom!Wanda, sub!Reader, anal sex, anal fingering, prostate milking, overstimulation, cum eating, size kink (she's 7 feet tall)
a/n: Idk this is a tad self indulgent but it's Fine because it's sexy
Event Masterlist
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Adulthood came with many struggles. You made it through high school, your poor budgeting habits, and you're currently pushing your way through medical school. It wasn't easy, but your determination and pride got you through it. Now you were one step further into adulthood by owning a house. No more roommates or weird landlords. Just your own space with no one else in it.
However, you hit an unexpected bump in the road.
Moving in seemed harder than doing all the paperwork. At first, you blamed it on how far you were moving. Some of your friends were kind enough to drive anywhere from 2 to 15 hours to help you move. It was possible they were tired and didn't consider how strenuous moving was. Then things got a little bit odd. You couldn't leave a room unattended for more than half an hour without someone getting some sort of freak injury. Luckily it was nothing worse than little cuts or bruises.
Oddly, fixing up the garage proved to be the hardest part. Bucky got sent to the hospital over a spider bite. Steve's asthma suddenly kicked up — though part of that was his fault considering everyone told him it'd be a bad idea to clean a dusty room without an inhaler. A lot of them had been overcome with mysterious illnesses and your team was getting smaller and smaller.
Eventually, it was down to just you and Tony.
All that was left to do was fix your janky garage door and the god-awful cabinets. It should've been a simple job. Replacing a few doors and fixing up some gears. Unfortunately, it turned out to be nearly impossible.
"God, this stupid fucking drill." You grumbled while trying to loosen the screws holding the cabinet door together. Tool malfunctions were another thing hindering your progress. One toolbox to fix the whole house wasn't entirely effective, but the finicky handles and rather disagreeable drill bits weren't making it any better. "Son of a bitch, these cabinet doors are hideous anyways!" After another failed attempt at removing the screw, you slam the tool on the countertop with a frustrated grunt. You slammed it a bit too hard against the counter because the sound shook the whole garage.
The old gears in your garage door creaked and shook before suddenly turning to drop the door.
"Tony, look out!" You shouted before running over to catch the door. The metal door slammed down hard on your shoulder blades. "Ah, shit!" You hissed out. It took all your strength to push the door back up. "Fuck, are you okay?" You asked Tony while rubbing your bruising shoulder blades.
Tony stared up at the garage door before getting up. He anxiously cleared his throat. "Well, if that doesn't open my eyes to my old age, I don't know what will." His shaky hands smooth out his shirt before grabbing his tools. "Yeah kid, I think I'm gonna call it a day after that." An unusually shaky sigh fell from his lips as he hugged you.
You looked up at the garage door. It needed to be fixed, but nothing physical was worth the life of a friend. "Um..yeah you do that. I'll just fix it my-"
"Don't do that," Tony interrupted, knowing your history with home repair.
A grimace overtook your features, but you knew Tony was right. "Okay, I won't fix it myself. I'll try and find some company to do it." You patted Tony on the back. He wasn’t the most tan friend you had, but you'd never seen him so pale before. "We should get you a drink before letting you head home."
With that, you were down to just yourself.
Your shoulders were in too much pain for you to keep working so you called it a day. Eight o'clock was a bit early for you, but you were much too shaky to do anything else. After a quick shower and some pain cream on your shoulder blades, you called it a day. Pain and warm water turned out to be the perfect combination for sleep.
"Release me…"
You shot up and immediately looked around the room. No one else was in your room. You weren't sure if it was real, but there were goosebumps on your skin and the hairs on your neck wouldn't lay down. As scary as it was, you decided you must've left the TV on up front and ignored it.
The next morning you're a bit jarred but ready to spend the weekend cleaning.
You looked around the garage to see what you had left to do. The garage door was off-limits and you were beyond frustrated with the cabinets in there. Just when you thought it'd be a simple work day, you noticed a hatch on the roof. Odd, you don't remember there being an attic on the room list when you bought the house.
You shrugged and jumped up to bring down the step ladder. The creaking underneath your feet meant it was time for the wood to be replaced, but you decided to prioritize exploration. Which turned out not to be the best idea.
"What the fuck!?" The words slipped out before you could even think. You looked around the attic. Chalk lines drawn out to make a magical symbol that you weren't even going to pretend you understood. There were more symbols carved into the wall. In the middle of it all, there was a small table. You weren't crazy enough to step towards it but you could see a jar filled with some mysterious liquid surrounded by other magical trinkets you didn't want to touch. "...Well, I guess that's what I get for buying a three-bedroom house for less than 100,000," You whispered as you climbed down the ladder.
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Now that you were terrified of your garage, you decided to focus on the less haunted part of your house.
It was a pain in the ass to move furniture and boxes by yourself, but better than a bunch of mysterious dead friends. After about a month or so, you were finally satisfied with the state of your house. The once barren walls were now filled with photographs and pairings. Long gone was the feeling of emptiness. It was your space now.
"Let me out, detka, please."
Oh, and the space of whatever freaky demon that was occupying that jar in your attic. Ignoring it was becoming harder. What started as the occasional whisper in your sleep turned into uncomfortably realistic wet dreams and a lot of ruined underwear. Now you could feel it hovering over you.
Tonight was the worst of it. Sensual kisses along the column of your neck pulled you in and out of sleep. Its hands were abnormally adventurous too. A less sleep-deprived version of yourself would've questioned the kisses on your neck, but your lack of sleep had left you a tiny bit delusional. One particular rough kiss finally woke you up properly.
The pain made you jolt up. "Fuck, you're having fun with this." You whisper despite the fact you're not sure it was listening. Your sleep shorts are stained with precum and you're painfully erect. A heavy sigh fell from your lips. "God, I hope you don't turn out to be some evil murder demon." The walk to your garage felt incredibly long. Each step added to the knot in your stomach. It was a miracle you didn't vomit by the time you stood underneath the hatch.
Your body moved as if it weren't your own. Awkward and clunky, but desperate to reach a goal you weren't too keen on. Once the ladder dropped back down your fate was sealed. You climbed up into the attic and stumbled towards the table.
For a moment just looked at the jar. Then you started laughing. "God, I am losing my mind. What is this stuff anyways, some disgusting old jam?" You scuffed with unwarranted confidence as you opened the jar.
It was not jam. Nor was it jelly or some other kind of preserve.
It was a seven-foot-tall demon. She had tinted red skin and two sets of horns sticking out of her head. You could see serrated teeth and an uncomfortably long tongue behind plum lips. You couldn't see them since they were above your head and you weren't going to risk looking away from it, but you could tell that it had claws.
The only thing keeping you from screaming your head off was not wanting to deal with a noise complaint in the morning.
"So um, can you put in on rent or are you just gonna bum out in my attic?"
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Wanda lived on Earth for thousands of years and never had she met a human more determined than you were. At first, she blamed your disinterest on her demonic form, but not even her human form could take your eyes off whatever project had taken up your time. Your focus was admirable, but Wanda was starting to get hungry.
So she decided to be more upfront about her needs.
Today, the only thing between her and a proper meal was a book. One you'd been reading for nearly an hour, but it was easier to take your attention away from that than it was from work.
Wanda laid down on your stomach and looked up at you with the softest, most desperate eyes she could muster. "I know this might come off as too much, but I'm really hungry...I just need a little something to get me through the day." Her eyes carefully watched your facial expression. Your eyebrows furrowed and your lips turned down.
"Oh, you must be starving."
Wanda was expecting a more sympathetic tone, but you said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
You quickly marked your page in the book and laid it down on the coffee table. "Wait right here, I'll make you something good." Part of you felt like one of those evil landlords on Reddit. You were making her pay rent but she didn't feel comfortable eating. "I have some snacks in the cabinets if you're really hungry. Help yourself to whatever."
Her fingers twitch. It's not what she wanted, but she found herself tempted. "It's fine, I can wait," She whispered. Succubi shouldn't get nervous. Wanda's hands reached out and held your waist. The benefit of being a succubus is that Wanda knows you won't deny her. Her fingers slipped underneath your shirt just to feel the softness of your skin. "What are you cooking?"
The question confused Wanda. She'd never cared about a human beyond a desire to feed off of them, but you were different. She was desperate to know more about you. Wanda wanted you in a way that she'd never wanted a human before. Thoughts of jealousy began stirring in her heart. As her fingertips explored the softness of your skin.
It didn't take long for that desire to evolve into something more deviant. Wanda found herself hating the physical space between you and her. She found herself disappointed she couldn't be inside you. As adorable as human fragility was, she couldn't stand the fact she couldn't be closer. Wanda needed to be under your skin and next to your still-beating heart. A hoodie could only make up for that half the time.
It wouldn't be much longer before she'd have to feed from you. Only you.
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It was embarrassing to admit as a succubus, but Wanda had officially gone multiple months without feeding from anyone. To rub salt in the wound, the one person she wanted to feed from seemingly had no issue sleeping around.
You were always talking up some girl and brought a new one home every other week. That was bad enough on its own, but you were always kind enough to make them breakfast or wash their clothes before sending them off. And once they were gone, you were right back by Wanda's side like nothing happened. Like you didn't just manage to play with the feelings of a succubus and send her into a jealous spiral.
Your latest adventure seemed to get under her skin like no one else before. This mysterious redhead had done quite a number on you. Dark red and purple bruises littered your neck and shoulders and you could barely stand upright. If you hadn't bashfully shooed her away, Wanda wouldn't have had a problem helping. Of course, your little fling was there to save the day.
"I didn't think you'd be able to walk after all that," The woman said with an amused tone. She sauntered up behind you and wrapped her arms around your waist. Her chin rested on top of your head. "You sure you don't want me to finish those up for you? I'm a little worried you're gonna collapse on me."
You squirmed in Natasha's grasp as her fingers traced along the top of your waistband. "Y-yeah, it's fine Natasha. Just go watch TV or something…" The blush on your face is almost hot enough to cook the eggs. You don't even remember the last time someone made you this bashful. It was new. "I appreciate your offer though," You mumbled, unsure how to carry on the conversation.
"You're still shy even after last night?" Natasha asked teasingly. Her fingertips slipped into your boxers but didn't move much further past the waistband. She pushed her hips against your ass just enough for you to feel the pressure. "I think I like being right here, just like this." She whispered into your ear. Her eyes looked off to the side with a knowing smirk.
The whole scene made Wanda sick with jealousy. Her stomach churned every time you laughed at one of Natasha's jokes. Succubus couldn't throw up, but she. would've already. You were hers even if you didn't know it yet.
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You felt like you were going mad.
It was getting harder to suppress your attraction to Wanda. You wish you could blame it on her interest in human clothes or all the cuddling, but neither of those was the problem. It was all your perverted tendencies. Every time Wanda crossed your mind it was always something sexual. These thoughts weren't brief either. Once you started one of your sick little fantasies, it was hard to stop. You were washing 20 pairs of underwear a week with how much precum you were leaving.
Your growing relationship with the demon only made things more complicated. Wanda seemed to become more physically affectionate by the day. Her human form was cute but it was her natural form that seemed to be giving you the most trouble. The shock of meeting a demon for the first time had worn off and you began to notice the small details. If your dick would appreciate them as well.
The only thing it seemed to care about was how big Wanda was. Especially when she was using you as her body pillow. The softness of her breast pressed against your chest and it was driving you mad. You were so focused on not getting a boner that you completely drowned out the noise from the movie.
As fun as watching you squirm and wiggle, Wanda had waited long enough.
She sat up on your lap, straddling your hips with her thighs. Wanda's hand slipped underneath your shirt to keep you pinned to the couch. Her claws lightly scratched at the sensitive skin. "It's cute you think I can't tell how turned on you are right now." A satisfied chuckle escaped her lips as you sucked your breath. "Don't think I haven't heard all those nasty little thoughts in your heads."
Your eyes followed Wanda's fingers nervously. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me!" She toyed with the hem of your shorts. You were at a loss for words. It wasn't like you could deny your feelings with your dick hard as a rock. “I know we’re like roommates, but we don’t have to do anything!” Embarrassment wasn't good enough to describe how you were feeling. You wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and disappear.
Wanda ripped off your shorts in one swift motion. “Oh detka, I want to be something more than just roommates.” Her long tongue licked the precum oozing from your neglected tip. It left a savory taste in her mouth that she couldn't help but enjoy. “God you don’t know how hard it was to live knowing you were wasting this stuff on girls who couldn’t make you feel half as good as I do.” Her free hand massaged your balls as she took your length inside her mouth. They weren’t as full as she would’ve liked them to be, but Wanda knew she would have access to them whenever she wanted them. Self-control was quickly flying out the window. Her hunger was starting to take over and she no longer had it in her to go slow for your sake. Wanda needed your cum and she needed a lot of it. “Do you know the best part of having sex with a succubus?”
The pleasure alone had your head spinning. “W-what?” It wasn’t a response to her question, but rather a moment of shock at Wanda’s confession. You weren’t well versed in the land of demons, but you didn’t think Wanda was anything like that. Was she gonna eat you? Maybe you should’ve asked more questions rather than worrying about her paying rent.
Her hand wrapped around your dick and began stroking slowly. She leaned forward to whisper in your ear. “I know exactly how to fuck you senseless.” Wanda hooked your legs over her shoulders. This time, Wanda's tongue went straight for your asshole. She watched your eyes roll to the back of your head with a satisfied smirk. No one's ever fucked you this way. It's almost impossible for her tongue fuck you the way she'd like but your whining makes up for it.
You're a mess. It felt like your insides were melting, but you were too overstimulated to even consider pushing back. You were usually the one on top and doing all the teasing. Now it was near impossible for you to speak without moaning and stumbling over your own words. "F-fuck, I'm close. Please don't stop, I'm gonna cum!" Your hands grabbed Wanda by her horns and pulled her closer to your ass.
Wanda hummed against you. You looked so cute when you were desperate to cum. She pushed your shirt up to your chest and signaled for you to hold it up. Of course, you do it without question. That mindless obedience would get you far. Wanda's tongue pressed down against your prostate. Milking you was a bit much for your first time doing anal, but Wanda wasn't going to hold back.
You couldn't even speak. It was just a string of desperate moans in place of words. The knot in your stomach bubbled up and snapped suddenly. Cum shot out of you in sticky, hot ropes. Your orgasm was almost never ending. Every time you thought it was over, she'd keep pushing you.
Wanda kept milking you until you'd gone soft. Her tongue slipped out of your hole. She wasted no time licking up the cum dripping down your chest and stomach. A deep, guttural moan escaped her lips at the taste of your cum. Her eyes glowed a deep red for a brief second. Wanda looked into your eyes and smirked. "I never want to see you with anyone else. Got it?"
You looked into her eyes and suddenly felt so tired. It was like a trance. There were a lot of questions going through your mind but you were too weak to ask any of them. "Got it." Was the only thing you could manage to say.
Wanda affectionately scratched your head. You were like a pet to her. "Let's get you cleaned up," She kissed your cheek before lifting you up and taking you to your bedroom.
You were grateful for her immense strength and gentleness. There was no way you'd be able to walk all the way to your room after that. You only vaguely heard Wanda's request that you not fall asleep while she prepared a bath for you. As tired as you were, there was something subconsciously urging you to stay awake as she requested. You rolled over slowly when Wanda returned from the bathroom. "Are you like…in my head forever now?" You asked sleepily.
Your question caught Wanda off guard. She didn't answer your question at first. Instead, she rolled you onto your stomach. It was only then that she had the answer to your question. "It appears so." She said calmly. Her fingers traced the tattoo now permanently etched into your skin. "Don't worry, I'll be kind to you..if you behave."
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barcaatthemoon · 5 days
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the truth iii || leah williamson x reader ||
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your first time back in spain after joining arsenal.
this is the final part to the truth. hope that anybody who followed along, enjoyed themselves.
it felt like a dream to be a part of the champion's league again. at first, you had been over the moon about everything. that is until you got the courtesy text from the barcelona girls that jenni was coming to the games. you knew to partially expect that. she may have left, but she was still going to support her friends at barcelona.
"hey, we're about to land," leah said softly as she nudged you. the last that she had known, you were fast asleep against her shoulder. the flight wasn't a very long one, but you had been eager to catch up on some sleep. "are you ready?"
"as i'll ever be." leah frowned at your response. she had watched you freak out after the texts had come in. it wasn't enough for jenni to come to barcelona to watch the champion's league final, but she had also made alexia ask if you'd join them.
you knew that she had asked other girls first, but most of them had refused to talk to you on her behalf. ona had even gone as far as to block the older player for nearly three weeks. alexia was the only one who had told you that, mainly as a courtesy since laia had also been invited. she didn't want you to feel left out, even if she knew the last thing you wanted to do was go out for dinner with your ex.
"hey, everything will be fine love, i promise," leah said as she gave you a peck on the cheek. "i know that we haven't really said anything to anybody else, but my offer still stands if you want me to come."
"are you sure?" you asked her. leah nodded. she knew that you'd need support, something to make sure that you didn't go running back to jenni. your national team friends would be doing that as well, but having leah there would be grounding for you.
things with leah were nothing like they had been with jenni. leah was a great fit for you. sometimes she could be a little shaky with communication, but with some gentle pushing, she'd open right up for you. leah had helped you gain back a lot of the confidence that jenni had seemingly stolen away after the breakup. she made you feel safe in a way that you had never known before.
"i love you," leah muttered as she pressed a kiss to the back of your hand.
"i love you too," you told her. moments later, the plane landed and the two of you were shuffling off of it.
"and the traitor has arrived!" mapi shouted as you walked with laia and leah towards the table. you knew that she was joking, as she was the first of your old club teammates to run over to hug you. she wrapped her arms around you tightly, and it was only alexia and sandra's hugs that rivaled mapi's.
"i see that you brought someone with you," cata teased as she slung her arm over your shoulder. you glanced over towards leah, who was standing sort of awkwardly behind you. "care for proper introductions?"
"leah, these are our opponents. opponents, this is my girlfriend, leah," you said. actually saying the words made your chest swell with pride. leah stepped forward and took your hand as she waved with her other.
"when did this start?" alexia asked, motioning between the two of you. truthfully, you had fallen a bit out of contact with everybody back in spain. it was hard to keep up after having cut all contact in germany. laia would remind you about answering texts, but that was only because some of your less reserved teammates would pester her constantly.
"seven months," you answered confidently. "she is good to me, i love her."
"unfortunately that does not stop captain talks." alexia and irene both stood up, ushering leah out with them. you took a seat next to ona and lucy, who were trying to hold hands under the table discreetly. that left the seat next to keira open for leah to take whenever she came back.
"so, you and leah?" lucy asked. there was a small smile on her face, one that didn't completely hide her surprise. ona had mentioned that you were dating one of her english teammates, but lucy had assumed it was alessia. that had been originally who ona tried to set you up with at arsenal, but your chemistry with leah had been undeniable.
"it's good to see you happy," jenni said. everybody glared at her, as if she had no right to speak to you. you understood and appreciated their protectiveness, but it felt unneccessary. "i am glad that you are doing okay."
"thank you, jenni," you said. the reply felt forced. you could tell that she wanted to ask for a moment alone with you, but nobody else at the table would have let that happen. you were honestly shocked that sandra and cata hadn't tried to squeeze you in between them.
an awkward quiet washed over the table as your girlfriend returned with your captains. leah took the empty seat in between you and keira, who immediately started to interrogate leah about your relationship. you smiled listening to leah tell keira and the rest of the table stories about your first couple of dates and when she realized that she loved you.
it should have been perfect, but you couldn't stop the guilt that gnawed at you. jenni sat quietly towards the head of the table. she looked rough, worse than you could ever remember seeing her. even after everything that had happened during the world cup, she hadn't looked this bad. it seemed that jenni was finally coming to terms with the fact that you were really done with her.
you had once been so caught up in her that she didn't think it would ever be possible. somehow, you had moved away and moved on with someone else. jenni had to admit that leah really was perfect for you in all of the ways that she hadn't been. the two of you were different enough to work out well. you and jenni had been too similar, which was fun at first, but it quickly became a problem. jenni knew how to hurt you in ways that would never occur to leah.
"excuse me, i should head back to my hotel." jenni rose from the table without much fanfare. you watched her leave, itching to follow her out to talk to her. leah watched you carefully, unsure of what to do. it terrified her to let you go out there, but she knew that you needed to get some things off of your chest.
"go, talk to her. i'll be out to check on you in five," leah whispered in your ear. you hesitated but left when she gave you a small nod. everybody stared at leah like she had just grown a second head.
"you're a better woman than i am williamson," lucy said as she watched you walk out of the restaurant.
"she needs this, i have to let it happen. i have to trust that she'll come back to me." leah took some deep breaths to steady her nerves. she could go into the world's most important football game calm as ever, but this was making her heart pound in her chest.
"jenni, what happened? a year ago you were doing fine. what's changed?" you asked your ex. jenni had come outside and promptly sat down on the sidewalk. you stood behind her, unsure of how close to get. you didn't want to give her the wrong impression, knowing that she had been drinking a bit over dinner.
"you've got a girlfriend, and it looks serious. you moved on, and i'm still stuck here thinking about you constantly. every single day something reminds me of you, and it sets me back to square one. i've tried to find someone to settle down with because that's all i want, but i can't stand anybody for more than a few weeks because they're not you," jenni rambled. she looked up at you with tears in her eyes, ones that she had been waiting to shed until you were with her. she wanted you to dry her tears and tell her that you'd come back, but that was never going to happen.
"i am sorry that you are going through this, i am, but there is nothing i can do anymore. i have leah, and i love her more than i've ever loved anybody. we were good together, great sometimes, but it was always so physical. it wasn't easy, but i learned how to step away from that with leah. you need to find someone who doesn't just want to fuck you. find somebody to talk to," you told her.
"i don't want to talk to anybody, but you."
"we never did much talking jenni. it's not what you want to hear, but maybe you need to grow up. there's more to relationships than fucking, but i don't know if you're ready to accept that kind of truth." you had heard about her relationship with alexia, the last one that had really been serious from the sounds of it. "maybe i'm not the one you should be talking to."
"go back inside please," jenni grumbled. she sounded serious, far more serious than what you had ever heard before. you went back inside, catching leah as she made her way to come bring you in. the two of you sat down at the table together, leah integrating you into the bit of conversation she'd started with some of barcelona's defenders on who was the most frustrating striker they'd ever had to mark.
you hadn't done much defending in your career, especially not whenever your coaches had discovered your speed. they had quickly pushed you from the backline to the front lines. mapi and ona both complained directly about you, inciting the whole table to start telling leah all sorts of stories about you from your barcelona days. it was nice, and if you noticed alexia slip outside, you didn't mention it, even going as far as to distract everybody with a youth team story or two.
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thankskenpenders · 4 months
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Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2024, the year that will mark the 10th anniversary of Thanks Ken Penders. I'd like to go over my plans for the blog for this year.
First of all: in the very near future, I'll have a post with my thoughts on Sonic Dream Team, and I'm sure I'll write one last Sonic Prime review once the final episodes drop on the 11th. I've also been sitting on an unfinished piece about the Sonic LEGO sets. I wanted this to be longer and more detailed piece that not only reviewed the sets but also went into the weird disconnect between homogenized image of Sonic the Brand and the actual fiction it's based off of, but it'll probably end up getting cut down a lot just so I can put something out. Let's just say I did a fun little thing with one of the sets.
Second: yes, I would like to return to regular TKP updates this year. As I've said many times, I wanted to do this in 2023, but I've been suffering from creative burnout after finishing SLARPG and have generally been unable to focus on any of my creative goals this past year. I'm hoping that this year will be better and I'll be able to get back into the swing of covering Archie Sonic issues. Even doing one issue every week or so would be vastly preferable to continuing the hiatus. I'm still only halfway done!! But aside from burnout, my other main hurdle is that I need to reread my own archive to refresh myself on all these things after nearly three years away. This will take some time.
The thing is, though, this year I'll have an extra incentive to go back through my previous writing and brush up on all things Archie Sonic. Because you see...
I've decided that I want to make a video essay about Penders. The comics, the copyright battle, The Lara-Su Chronicles, everything.
The why
I've thought about doing this before, but I never committed to the idea. I was too busy with gamedev, or I thought it'd end up being too long, or I figured that there were already enough videos on the subject, or I just lacked confidence in my ability to put together a video essay. So I told myself it wasn't meant to be, and let the multiple YouTubers who have cited me as a source on their own Penders videos fill that void.
Recently, though, a few things have happened that have convinced me it might be time. For one, YouTube video essays/media retrospectives/etc. are just getting longer and longer. When Quinton Reviews is out here doing 21 hours of videos on Sam & Cat, a subpar Nick sitcom that only lasted one season, I don't feel so crazy for wanting to make a video about several hundred comic books and two lawsuits that'd be at least an hour or two long lmao. Admittedly, I've also been self-conscious about doing a long video essay like this as a trans woman who has yet to do any vocal training. But these days I feel like I see a lot more transfem YouTubers who have done little to no vocal training, and that's given me more confidence on that front.
But the big one was Hbomberguy's recent plagiarism video. As I sat there watching it, I kept thinking about the time I found a CBR article that was just a crude 800 word summary of my two previous articles on Penders, published by a CBR writer who's put out over 4000 articles since 2019. If I've already been plagiarized before, and my writing is so frequently passed around as a go-to source on Archie Sonic drama, then I wouldn't be shocked if there were YouTubers out there straight up just plagiarizing me. I don't watch other peoples' videos on Archie Sonic, so I'd never know! So if people are just gonna paraphrase me when covering these topics anyway, why not take matters into my own hands and make what I would consider to be the definitive video on the subject? If hacks like James Somerton and iilluminaughtii can churn out these shitty video essays and people will still watch them, surely it can't be that impossible to make my own, right? (And also, uh, Hbomb literally told me I should make the video lol. If you're reading this, thanks for the encouragement.)
The what, how, and when
So here's the plan.
Part of this video essay will be an adaptation of my Medium article on the recurring themes of Ken's Archie Sonic run, with its content touched up and expanded upon. There were a few things I skimmed over in the article because I didn't want it to get too long, but again, people are out here watching ten hour videos about bad Nickelodeon sitcoms now. I can get away with elaborating a little more. I can add a few paragraphs talking about the Chaos Knuckles arc, or throw in a little more historical context I've discovered in the years since.
After covering the comics, the back half(-ish?) of the video will be dedicated to the copyright battles and their ensuing controversies, trying to give an accurate picture of what actually went down, the sheer scale of how bad Archie fucked up, and what our takeaways should be. This will have some similarities to my New York Magazine article on the subject, but I'll be rewriting it from scratch. I REALLY had to keep things short for that article because I was already way over the expected word count, and my tone was a little more straight-laced than normal because I was trying to keep things Professional. I can riff more and insert more of my own opinions this time, like I normally would.
I'll inevitably have to touch on some of Ken's Bad Tweets when discussing things that have happened after the lawsuits, but I don't want the video to just devolve into a list of times people got mad at him on Twitter, so I'm gonna try to keep that to a minimum in favor of focusing on his actual work. Things like the Scourge the Speed Demon incident and his continued statements on certain characters' copyright statuses probably warrant mentioning, though. And finally, assuming that the book really does come out this summer, I would like the grand finale of the video to be about those first couple chapters of The Lara-Su Chronicles.
I don't currently know when this video will get done, but it'll probably be in the back half of the year, especially with me waiting for the book to either drop or get delayed yet again. But I've actually already started writing a bit of the script, and will keep chipping away at it for a while.
So, uh, yeah, look forward to that? Wish me luck?
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krypticcafe · 1 year
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Can you do a part 2 of the platonic reader and the 141+Alejandro where reader gets kidnapped and comes back? I love your writing!
No One Can Hurt You
Sequel to As Long as I'm Here
rating: mature
pairing(s): platonic gn!reader x task force 141 + alejandro + rodolfo
warning(s): language, canon-typical violence, torture, blood, military inaccuracies, mild gore descriptions for a hot second, implied ghost zapping a guy's balls, reader is lowkey traumatized, comfort, no use of y/n, no beta read, possible ooc?
a/n: I did NOT expect to get such an overwhelmingly positive response on the first part?? I was worried that the writing felt bland, but you guys seemed to love it, so here's the highly demanded part two!
synopsis: the 141 and Los Vaqueros weren't going to stand for what happened to you. No one would.
alternative title— fuck around and find out
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"We found the guys your sources claimed to be the men that were there, Captain. But they're refusing to say anything to us. Honestly, it looks like they're just another pair of lackeys." Gaz was speaking over comms with Price after locating a suspect with Roach. The two had found the pair in a dingy old building, a safehouse conveniently placed far from heavily populated civilian areas.
"Should we-"
He was cut off by a series of loud thuds and glass crashing, immediately grabbing his handgun and running into the room where Roach was keeping an eye on their suspects.
Roach had one of the men pinned to the ground, repeatedly decking him in the face whilst letting out frustrated yells and broken cries. Blood splattered across the floor and on his visor, but he could've cared less, it wasn't his anyways.
"Roach, get off of him, that's enough!" Gaz practically had to tear his teammate away from the man with how Roach flailed, grunting and clawing at Gaz's arms to let him go. "Roach, we can't do anything if you bloody kill them!"
Pushing off Gaz, Roach seethed with pained eyes, nearly tearing up out of sheer frustration. "He's hiding something, I know he is! That sadistic fuck started bragging about what they did to the sergeant and- and the smug shit look he had! These are the guys, but they're not telling us everything!"
He knew it was a terrible excuse, but his own gut feelings about reading people's expressions had never proved him wrong before, not when he had an eye for reading people through their body language. Gaz hesitated. He understood why Roach lashed out and didn't blame him for losing his temper, hell, he rarely did, and Gaz would've done the same in all honesty. You meant as much to him as you did to Roach. They were the first friends you made when joining the 141, the ones who helped acclimate you to the team, and the ones who trained under Price alongside you like you were their sibling. But it didn't help that they nearly broke protocol, which would've compromised the mission and made your sacrifice and suffering for nothing.
Looking down at the unconscious yet still-breathing man, Gaz then noticed how the blood pooled around him. It seemed to stop spreading at some point in the floorboards and spilled into an unusually large crack in the wood that looked suspiciously intentional.
"Roach, take the other one and call for exfil but don't tell them to leave just yet." Once his partner left, Gaz kneeled down to the floor and knocked on the wood. It was hollow.
Seems they would definitely need them alive now more than ever.
"I don't know who supplies us, I just work for them! Just ask-" The man let out a cry as Soap held his shoulder, digging his fingers into it and balling his other hand into a fist before landing a solid punch into his gut. A moment passed he choked on air, the wind knocked from him, his mouth painfully dry except for the tears that dripped from his eyes.
"Tell us who you work for or things are about to get real nasty for you like they did for your friend."
"You're in it if you think I'm gonna say shit! The 141 is just a freak show, ain't it? Bunch of you cowards hiding behind stupid callsigns, what the fuck kind of name is—" That earned him another beating. He wailed, writhing in pain against the tight restraints, but ultimately wasting his energy. He only stopped when he heard screams and crackles of what was undoubtedly electricity coming from behind one of the walls of the room.
"So you do know," Soap growled, beating him once more and backing up when he retched from pain. Blood dripped from Soap's knuckles, to which he scowled in disgust and irritation, his accent growing thick, "No, you just had to make things a fuckin' mess, dinnae you?"
Normally, it was Ghost who took care of interrogations, at least the more painful parts of it. But Soap needed to let out his anger in a useful way, he needed to hear the sickening crunch of ribs so that he could remind himself of what you went through and erase any sliver of doubt or sympathy in his mind for the enemy. Every splatter of blood that'd spill when he'd throw a fist across the guy's face was just another testament to how much he despised what happened and how desperately he needed to let it all out.
The man, in his bleary-eyed haze, made out another figure that entered the room. It was Ghost, with a box of electrical clamps in hand. "What is he doing here?"
Soap and Ghost made a silent exchange of words, nodding to one another in confirmation and speaking purely through eye contact. It only created more fear when Soap left the room and the man was all alone with the lieutenant.
"Hey hey hey where are you going you can't leave me with him! I did what I had to do, it's not my fault your friend was collateral—" The man choked on his words when Ghost pulled out two clamps and tested them, both emitting a spark and loud crackles that echoed off the walls. "—fuck! Oh god, no no no—what the fuck are you gonna use that for?!"
The lieutenant was a different situation. Sure, he wanted nothing more than to dig his hands into the man's open wounds, curl his fingers until flesh separated from bone, make them feel just exactly how much they got 'under his skin'. He wanted to hear the satisfying pop! of bones and cartilage. He wanted them to writhe like worms on a scalding sidewalk, pathetic and left for dead. But that wasn't enough, they didn't deserve the time, the effort, nor did they deserve the pleasure of a quick death. No, he needed to make them suffer.
Ghost brought one clamp up to the man's crotch with one hand and held a rusty knife with the other, lowering himself to look directly at his target. It was at that moment the man came to the realization that he wasn't captured, no, he fucked around, pulling off the stubborn shit act until they'd inevitably grow bored of him and move on, maybe put him out of his misery if he was lucky enough. But there was no moving on, there was no luck in this ring of hell. No, not with what had already been done and what couldn't be taken back even if he begged. The 141 was revered for their soldiers and their work, but it was a myth all at the same time. They were said to be efficient and ruthless, better to surrender to than to suffer at the hands of. Since they were off the books, it was a mystery as to what lengths they would go to, just how far they would push the limits.
He had fucked around, and now he'd find out.
They locked eyes, one pair filled with fear, the other devoid of any emotion. There wasn't the sympathy the man prayed for, nor the anger or violence of Soap, not even a hint of mercy or hatred. It was so empty of feeling that it almost felt dismissive, as if the man wasn't a human held hostage but an object, a book to be torn open for answers, then tossed aside. If Soap had been his judge and jury, then Ghost would surely be his executioner. He felt small, insignificant, and hopeless under the gaze as the man he truly believed was death incarnate responded to his question.
"Last. Chance."
One by one, Price and his crew had cleared the facility, evacuating workers and eliminating guards and cartel. After bringing their "guest informants" to the brink of delirium, wrenching them like wet towels to get every drop of info. Along with the intel Gaz gathered from a hidden basement where hard drives of transactions were being kept, they found the main supplier and other bases. If they took down the heart of the operation, it would cause a domino effect, shutting things down to a point where the Los Vaqueros would be able to handle them on their own. With every bullet shot, they were closer to their goal and closer to making up for what they considered a personal failure to protect one of their own and many more.
Maybe it was crazy that their primary motivation beyond recovering the drugs was to seek justice for a single soldier. But it was to prove a point. To prove that they weren't just a team of highly skilled and trained soldiers, to prove that they were a force to be reckoned with, and to prove that you were no less valuable of a member than the others, all of whom would lay their lives on the line for one another. After all,
The 141 was not to be messed with.
Making his way through the rooms and getting closer to the center of it all, Price was interrupted when a door to his side busted open from a man toppling back into it, falling to the ground. He tried to scramble back, a boot quickly stomping onto his chest. Alejandro towered before him, pressing a rifle to his head, growling in Spanish, "Where is your leader?"
The man responded, and without hesitation, the colonel gave him a quick and painless death for his obedience. Looking up, Alejandro nodded in acknowledgment at Price, "I'm not the only one that owes your sergeant, they protected my men, and I owed them a favor even before that."
That caused Price to chuckle, even despite their current circumstances. There was no denying how much of an unnecessarily reckless saint you could be with those you worked with. "I suppose you got a location from that poor bastard?"
"Yes. Have our teams regroup, it's going to be a long night for us all, my friend. But it's worth the trouble for Las Almas and the kid, no?"
"Yes, indeed." Price hummed, the two making their way out and on to finally settle the score.
You woke up blinded by a bright light, briefly contemplating if you were dead and if heaven was actually real all along. But after some time passed, your eyes adjusted to the all-too-familiar setting of the infirmary with its barren walls and sickly sanitized scent. With a groan, you tried to prop yourself up on your elbows until a hand gently pressed you back. Puzzled by the motion, you rubbed your eyes and found your captain looking back at you.
"Easy there, soldier." Price cautioned, and you kept your eyes on him as you laid back down. He had a small smile on his lips, but the way he looked at you signified that he was still concerned for your state, "You alright? Need the nurse or anything?"
"No," You shook your head, wincing at how hoarse your throat was. Price laughed softly and handed you a cup of water he had prepared at the side of your bed, and you started to wonder if he had always kept one there for you and if he even regularly changed it for you. You wouldn't put it past him to, the ol' sap.
Gulping the cool liquid down heartily, you took a few breaths before continuing, "How- how long was I out?"
"About a few days, no longer than a week." He shrugged, your eyes widening in response, "Cut yourself some slack. When you came back, you were bleeding out all over base and in hysterics. Doctor told us that if you got back any later, we would've lost you from the blood loss alone."
"Just the blood loss? Not the drugs? I would've figured the latter would be the end of me." You chuckled until you saw Price's expression, muttering a sheepish 'sorry, too soon?' and sipping your water cup, "I didn't hurt anyone, did I?"
"Well, you did punch Garrick square in the chest, but he's been through worse. Wouldn't stop making puppy eyes at you the entire time after, I think you wounded his heart. Ghost had to restrain you afterward, and you were too weak to do any real damage at that point, just kept screaming your head off until you passed out."
"Shit," You cringed, your face burning hot with shame, "I'm sorry, Captain. I should've been more careful, I could've compromised the mission and-"
"Don't be. Sure, you made a bloody fool of yourself, but you saved your team in the process. And that's got to count for something, yeah?" He nudged you gently, "So don't beat yourself up, especially after you fought your way out of hell."
The sympathetic look he gave you held unspoken words, No one could've known. You couldn't have known. The urge to tear up right then and there was strong, but you didn't want to embarrass yourself more than you already apparently had. Biting back the sting in your eyes, you only quietly nodded in response.
"Good. I'm proud of you, got that?" Price stood from his seat, giving your head a firm pat, "Rest up after they're done with you, alright? Can't have one of my finest on the sidelines for too long, now can I?"
"Honored to be one, Captain." You faltered for a moment, "Wait, 'they'?"
Price only gave you a sly shrug and left the room. You remained to wonder what he meant for approximately ten seconds until Gaz and Roach burst in, the latter immediately glued to your side. So this is who he meant by "they", why were you even surprised?
"Feeling alright there?" Gaz smiled, taking a seat at your other side.
"I should be asking you that, didn't you get all heartbroken after I punched you?"
"I shouldn't have asked," Gaz groaned, shaking his head despite his smile, "Cheeky as ever, huh? Can't even be sympathetic without you trying to make fun of me."
"Well, I for one was pissed!" Roach interjected, "Right after you got here, we got to work on finding the assholes who hurt you and made them eat shit for dinner. Man, I wish I could've been in the interrogation room with Ghost and Soap but Price said I'm only finding an excuse to beat them up more."
Gaz raised a brow, "You were finding an excuse to."
"Well yeah, but I was only gonna mess with them a little bit, not zap their balls like Ghost—"
"I'm sorry, what?" You coughed, stunned by all the information coming out of them and hardly able to keep up. "What happened when I was knocked out?"
"Price didn't tell you? Oh, well," The two began to give you a run-down of events, from how Roach nearly beat the living hell out of your torturers, to the hidden basement, Ghost and Soap's whole interrogation (with great detail via Roach intel), and how both Price and Alejandro held a whole operation and shut down the suppliers.
Gaz shrugged, "Of course, it was mostly to shut it down and for the sake of Las Almas-"
"-but I mean, we also had to defend your honor!" Roach huffed, passionately signing to emphasize his point, "At least I wanted to. Seriously, how fucked up is it that they drugged you? It wasn't even helpful, they're just sickos that-"
Before Roach could further rant, Gaz tugged at the back of his uniform collar and glanced at his watch. "C'mon Roach, we've been here for a good hour and Price has us on duty right now." Roach only whined at Gaz in response but he ignored it, giving you one last glance, "Get some rest and get well soon, mate. I can't babysit all on my own after all."
"Hey!"
You broke out in laughter, watching the two leave and waving them goodbye. While you wished they could've stayed longer, your heart still warmed at the thought of how they cared, waiting for you to wake up and immediately being at your side. It reminded you of how you stayed at their side when they got sick from a mission in the rain and you didn't, so you felt somewhat obligated to help them as the 'survivor'. Perhaps they felt the same way too, that as your friends, they felt obligated and willing to stay by your side in return.
Hours passed since Gaz and Roach had visited, morning turning to late afternoon. The only ones who did pass by were either other soldiers on base needing medical attention or the nurses themselves, who regularly checked up on you. It wasn't exactly the company you wanted, but it was better than agonizing silence and isolation, which you quickly found to be the worst of it all. Not the scars, not the stiff bandages, not even the sickly clean smell, but just when things were silent. When things were silent, your mind went back to the time you spent, the hours you waited in between questions and beatings with nothing but you in your own head fighting for your consciousness. The buzz of the fluorescent lights in the infirmary drilled a hole in your skull the same way that singular overhead light had, drowning out your thoughts in an uncanny way. The IV drip was no better, it kept you awake the same way the rhythm of your own blood dripping had. You hadn't even noticed the way your breathing suddenly turned ragged just like it did when—no, you had noticed, but you didn't want to.
It shouldn't have bothered you as much as it did, it was only a few hours, you've been through worse, others have been through worse.
But god, the silence.
"You doing okay there, uh-" A nurse walked in through the curtains, pulling up the clipboard at the end of your bed and reading your name, "I'm just going to administer some painkillers real quick, okay?"
Unconsciously, you nodded and watched in a slight daze as she pulled up a cart of medical supplies. Your hands balled into fists to stop the trembling you weren't even aware of but somehow knew you had to hide. It hadn't quite registered to you what was going on or what she had said, even as you watched her fill up the syringe and flick it. But the moment you felt the needle against your skin, you roughly grabbed her wrist, causing her to yelp and drop it.
Your hands began to tremble again, growing clammy. You became all too aware of how muffled the nurse's panicked words were but how sharp the ringing in your ears was, piercing your brain. Words wouldn't come out of your mouth, replaced with small, quick breaths while your eyes darted around to find something, anything to focus on with your blurred vision.
"At ease, sergeant." A heavily accented voice spoke, ripping you from your haze and you turned to find that familiar skull mask standing by the curtains.
"I... I'm sorry," You mumbled, letting go of the poor woman's wrist and hanging your head apologetically. Your breaths returned to normal, the lights were less bright, and the noise was gone for now.
"I think it's best if you ask the doctor to try other kinds of painkillers with our friend here, miss. They aren't too fond of needles, ain't that right?" Soap appeared behind Ghost, trying to keep things lighthearted with how tension in the air was thick enough to suffocate in. The nurse nervously nodded her head before walking away with the cart, understandably still shaken by what had happened.
"I'd ask if you're doin' okay, but it seems a bit obvious now, ain't it, Ghost?"
The other grunted in response, sitting down at one of the chairs by your side. "You'd think they'd know better with these kinds of things."
"Don't be mean now, they're just doing their jobs," The scotsman chuckled, turning back to you, "Now, aren't you quite the sight for sore eyes? Sorry we couldn't make it earlier, we got tied down with paperwork after the whole fiasco, you know about that yet?"
"Yeah, I didn't expect you guys to get the job done so fast."
"Aw, did you want us to leave you some left over? If I'd known, I would've told Ghost to go a little easier on the lads." Soap was the only one trying to make any conversation out of this visit and you already knew the reason for Ghost's silence. It was just like in the helicopter after you took the blow for him, though you were pretty sure a pun wouldn't be enough to break him from "brooding" like last time.
"Sure. Would've loved to get a few punches back on them," You teased back, "But thank you guys. Really. I know it wasn't the main purpose, but I really appreciate that you guys had my safety in mind. Never figured joining the 141 would come with vengeance perks, or am I just that special to you guys?"
"You little shite, you," Soap cackled, ruffling your hair.
"Looks like they beat us here, Rudy." Alejandro's voice chimed out of the blue, appearing soon after.
"Too bad, I was hoping we'd have them to ourselves," Rodolfo hummed, followed behind with a gift basket in hand, "At least we bought something, eh?"
"Oi! We would've brought something too, we just wanted to get here as soon as we got back." Soap pouted, "Tell 'em Ghost."
"Actually I was hoping to get a 'get well' card on our way here." The masked man mumbled, ignoring his partner's offended gasp.
"You seein' this?" He whined, but you also ignored him, favoring the sweets that were in the gift basket.
"How'd you know this was my favorite?" You gasped, your reaction had the two Vaqueros looking at each other with proud faces.
"I have my sources."
"Ale, you just asked around base."
"That still counts as sources."
The whole lot of you started breaking into conversation, the boys exchanging their accounts of their ambush. In return, you shared what had happened when you were caught and how you escaped in a small summary of events, which led to them ranting about the men they interrogated and about the drugs themselves. Even Roach, Price, and Gaz popped in one last time for the day to visit you and join in on the discussion. Seeing them all like this, gathered around your bed, laughing and bantering, it almost made you forget all that had happened. You wanted to cherish this moment, keep a mental picture of it framed over the locked box in the back of your mind. Being in the military never allowed much room for friends gathering and all this chit-chatting outside of pubs, so it was a rare sight for sore eyes.
In a way, it made your life a little more meaningful. Reminded you that you weren't just a "good soldier", you were a teammate, a friend. You were important, someone worth fighting for. A purpose.
Although the job was harsh and you always felt like you had a gun to your head, that everyone wanted you dead on the battlefield, the 141 always showed you that someone out there still cared, still wanted you to fight and stay alive. Even if life tried to put you six feet under, they'd be there to pull you out without hesitation. You didn't have to doubt or question why, you already knew the answer.
You were family.
Unfortunately, the moment couldn't last for long, the poor nurse from before had been startled by the sheer volume of people around you, especially when most of them were high-ranking. Regardless, she chastised them for keeping you up when you needed your rest (you didn't) and began to shoo them all out. It was almost comedic how the group of giant, intimidating men left with little resistance in a pile of shame. Christ, they look like a pack of sad puppies, you humorously thought to yourself.
Ghost was the last to leave, hesitating to say something by the way he just stood there, curling his hands into fists. You had to force yourself not to laugh right then and there. For someone who was so silent and stoic for most conversations, he was easy to read. It wasn't hard to notice how his eyes kept flickering to your bandages the entire time he sat there, followed by the flashes of concern on his face every time you had coughed from laughing too hard or accidentally hurt yourself by shifting your body too quickly.
"I'll be alright, Simon." Giving him a reassuring smile, you hoped he'd take your words to heart, "Don't worry about it, I'll be on the field right as rain again in two days tops and you can kick my ass around all you want then. Promise."
He didn't say anything for a moment, and you began to worry that maybe your words were too cheap for him to believe, or maybe that he was more upset than you'd originally thought.
"You better be sure." He finally responded, "I take my promises pretty seriously, remember that, sergeant."
You stared at him all googly-eyed until your lips broke into a wide grin, beaming brightly at him and shouting as he left.
"Message received, L.T!"
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a/n: AAAA I haven't written this much in so longgg. I had the first half already down from the last part because it went on for too long, but this one is nearly DOUBLE the word count. It's bound to have some grammar mistakes, but I hope that doesn't ruin the immersion too much. Let me know what you guys think!
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goldsbitch · 3 months
Text
Just don't talk--
-and come over. p3 to Just don't talk
summary: Enemies to lovers on steroids. Lando can't stand Y/N, the first female driver in F1. He also can't stand not having her with her clothes on.
warnings: minors do not interact, cursing, a bit of smau...just generally don't take this one too seriously
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The following week marked a u-turn in the media strategy of McLaren and Aston Martin. Another set of meetings, very quick as nobody wanted to open a can of worms or cause even more talk on the topic of Y/N and Lando. They studied the material shot for the F1 - and the consensus was to stop the Lando x Y/N part being released out as it gave off strange vibes. It was a mix of pure lack of chemistry and then a sudden spike of sexual tension and a 180 shift. In all fairness it was a bit uncomfortable to watch for the media teams, who had to analyse people they were in direct daily contact.
No unnecessary contact. No joined interviews. Keeping them as apart as possible. Gone were the days where teams would use the sexual tension as a selling point. Times have changed, this would fly really well in 2010's, but now anything of this sorts for a nightmare for PR. Y/N would be undermined. Lando put in a fuck boy category. It wasn't like anyone saw anything happen. None of the people initiating these meetings had even slightest idea that their worst nightmares were only a light version of the truth. If there was ever an elephant in a room, it was this time. Nobody dared to speak their mind. The whisper challenge video came out without the two. Having it cut and deleted from all hard drives was an order and nobody was to speak of it again.
Social media had been strangely quiet, focusing on race related topics. That was until Lando wore a short sleeve, his healing bite mark seeing the light of day and on display for thousands of eyes. How was one suppose to wear long shirts in hot ass countries they were constantly traveling to? Personally, he thought it was cool and there was even a point where he debated having it tattooed - owning the shit out of and taking the power away from Y/N. Max, his best friend, stopped him. But the thought still lingered back in his mind. It had been a little too long since their last night session. Jerking off was fine, but never good enough. The bite mark caused quite the stir among his fans, but he honestly gave little to no shit about that. He was not going to contact her first though. The last thing he would do is to simp up to her. So when there was a hot model present at one their random club night outs, he did not think twice. It was a little too easy for his liking, but he needed to blow some steam. He could have been discreet, he really could. But why? There was a part of him that was excited to see how this would resonate with Y/N. The violent make out outside the club really was not necessary. Especially when Lando knew that there was a photographer sitting nearby patiently, about to make a living out of a Lando's whim.
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When Lando scrolled instagram the next morning, he has a little too proud smile on his face. He would never admit it out loud, not even to himself, that Y/N was on his mind when he fucked the brunette. Mediocre night at best. What worried him a bit was that bad sex was something he almost forgot existed. Of course that Y/N saw it. It was one of the first things that popped up on her phone that morning. It did not bother her. Not even closely. She just had a good energy streak, that was her reply to her trainer when she nearly broke the rowing machine at the gym. She uninstalled instagram later in the afternoon, trying to get the instagram girl's face out of her memory.
There was no way she'd be the one texting him for a late night hook up now. Maybe it was for the better in the end. Focusing on racing only now and even potentially beating him on the track. Night got a little too lonely without the option to have him over, on her and under her. She tried baking, reading, got really into chemistry related youtube videos, yet drinking and working out seemed to be the only thing to really work.
Two long weeks passed until she finally received a text. She ignored that her heart skipped a beat when she saw his name on her phone screen.
"Bro. What are we going to do now?"
She rolled her eyes. What a lame ass opening. No point in playing the waiting game, so she replied immediately. She could care less.
"Aw, got bored and miss some quality fucking?" She second guessed the text right after sending. Was that too desperate? She thew the phone away for few minutes. One late night unnecessary coffee later, she picked it right back up.
"No, you little shit. You not on socials or what?"
A screenshot followed.
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There were PR nightmares and there was this kind of disaster. Instagram and Tik Tok got installed back immediately. She watched some cuts and edits from their video, low quality snips that were not giving any full image. Comment after comment, the creativity not being of concern to anyone. All of the same note. Is there more to their obvious dislike of each other? There were only few who were concern by why did most of the leak footage give such a hostile vibe. Lando's eye fucking was more of an attractive topic.
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She scrolled for few minutes, watching a new shift on their public image unfold. It was mostly the hardcore fans, not really something the big outlets took interest in at the moment. But there was one theme that followed - people were curious. Panic set over her, mind started racing in all possible scenarios. And then did something for the first time - she dialed Lando's number. He picked up reluctantly.
"How did it get out?" she asked right away.
"Hello to you too. And the fuck would I know."
"Seems like something that would fit into your current portfolio, so yeah, I am asking directly."
Lando smiled proudly. She was jealous. Oh, what he would do to see her face now.
"Hate to disappoint, but I don't have the need for cheap attention." Liar, all he wanted was for her to notice him.
"Ok, assuming nobody from your team or my team did, who got it out?"
"I severely overestimated your ability to focus on the important thing here, apparently."
"So you tell me, Mr. Genius."
"Like I said before you invaded my evening by this panic phone call. What are we going to do? The last thing I'd want is for someone to find out...about us." It felt strange for both of them, to hear him say it like that. Like it wasn't a problem. Every time someone put them together in a sentence, it had been a bad connotation. But not his tone, this one time.
"Well, I don't know, I've only had a minute to process."
"Oh, take your time, of course. Time flies really slowly on social media, so yeah, I'd say you have about a year or so to react."
"Well, we're obviously not going to react anyway."
"I really hope they don't force us to. I'm getting sick of all the media team meddling in. It's their fault in the first place," he said, unamused.
"Yeah, you're right. Good defense, I will use that if they bring it up."
"Don't worry, you'll get my invoice for consulting in your email tomorrow."
"Aw, McLaren not paying enough?"
"I'm sorry, you're still at Aston, correct?"
"Shut it, Norris. So that's it? We'll just not react and let it go?"
"I mean, what else is there to do. Denying anything will only bring up more questions. It's not like people will believe we're friends."
"That, my friend, is true."
"I'm a smart boy, not only a sex god."
"Uhm." Trouble is that he really really was.
"So we'll just let it die out?"
"Yeah. When someone mentions it, we can say that we just don't get along and that's that."
"Great, no lie there."
There were few seconds of quiet tension. Panic was somehow over, but the high adrenaline stayed. It was late evening, their usual prime time. Would they? Should they? Y/N was debating whether she wanted to see Lando again with the vibe he was setting around himself lately putting her off a bit. But then there was the need for territorial claim. Built up energy that wanted to get out. Both of them silently trying to come up with a line good enough for Lando to come over and "dance" with Y/N in a way no friend would. Lando took a breath to speak, but Y/N was quicker.
"So, wanna come over for a work out?" He was over at her place within 25 minutes.
part 4
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shares-a-vest · 4 months
Text
Prompt: Family Heirloom and Starry Night (Discord Drabble) Two prompts in 24hrs, the drabblers are spoiled today. It's Lex's birthday! @thefreakandthehair I'm so sorry that my Frankenstien prompt for your b'day is also Steve Sad Boy™ hours. But it has a light-hearted end!!! 🏈🏈🏈 tw: death of a grandparent (way in the past)
"Why would mom mail this to me?" Steve finally mutters from his position at the kitchen bench.
Eddie shimmies upright on the couch and rubs at his eyes, long glazed over from forcing himself to pretend to pay attention to tonight's game. He'd flipped it over a good half an hour ago as the space he had given Steve started to linger on a little too long for his liking.
He just wasn't supposed to almost fall asleep while waiting for Steve to join and watch his favourite team win all those... points? touchdowns?
It doesn't matter nearly as much as the package that was delivered late in the afternoon – one that has left Steve glued to his kitchen stool.
A heavy but small and thin box with 'FRAGILE' and 'DO NOT BEND' emblazoned all over it, the red warnings leaving just enough space for their address and the return label.
Steve has opened it, Eddie realises, looking over his partner's impossibly hunched shoulders when he reaches him.
"I don't remember ever seeing that in your house, sweetheart," he says, standing close and snaking his arms around Steve's middle.
He frowns at the small framed print of Vincent Van Gough's Starry Night painting and rests his chin on Steve's shoulder.
"Mom hated it," Steve explains, "Refused to hang it anywhere in the house after my Grandpa passed. He left it to her."
Eddie hums in the affirmative.
The gold and gaudy frame doesn't exactly scream Mrs Harrington's taste in decor...
"Should I call her?" Steve rasps, setting the print down to pinch his nose, "What if something's wrong and that's why she is sending it to me?"
Eddie can feel his lip quivering.
"Maybe we should talk first, hmm?" he suggests, giving Steve a reassuring squeeze.
"Or..." Steve continues, his tone becoming bitter, "She's sending it now to make it official. That I'm no longer..."
He cuts himself off with a shaky exhale and looks around their relatively new (but technically very old and rundown) apartment. A quiet little spot in Indy they'd scored without too much searching.
One that they soon filled with their records and clothes, Eddie's amp and guitar and Steve's old trophies. Too many knickknacks they'd thrifted with the help of Robin and a lot of second-hand furniture Wayne found.
An apartment they are still in the process of making their own as they work themselves out together.
Their place in the world. Their home.
Eddie looks over to a patch of blank wall by the phone.
A spot that could use something...
"Do you like it, the painting?" he whispers, pressing a kiss to Steve's ear.
Steve grips the frame, his knuckles quickly turning white as he tenses up. He nods his head vigorously and sniffles.
"My grandpa..."
"Starry, starry night," Eddie sings low, "Paint your palette blue and grey..."
He reaches out to place his hands over Steve's and feels them relax in his touch.
"Look out on a summer's day..." Steve continues wetly, "Yeah..."
He sighs and closes his eyes, shifting his weight back onto Eddie.
"Looks like a pretty good heirloom to me," he says, swaying them just enough to leave Steve humming contentedly without threatening his position on the rickety kitchen stool.
Eddie continues humming the song, a favourite of Wayne's that he only ever passively listened to enough to pick up on the opening line and tune.
"Wanna watch the game with me?" he asks, nodding back to the television as he finishes the song.
Steve giggles, his shoulders gradually shaking them both.
"Baby, I watched that game two Sundays ago."
"But it's your favourite," Eddie argues, jostling their conjoined form, "The Cubs!"
"Eds, that's baseball!"
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rookie98writes · 9 months
Text
Is That Understood?
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Part of the ANBU Series Prev → Next
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Relationship: Hatake Kakashi x fem!Reader
Rating: Explicit - Minors DNI
Warnings: smut, dubcon, power imbalance, power abuse, degradation, rough sex, rough oral sex, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, creampie, praise kink, cum eating, multiple orgasms, POV reader
Word Count: 4.1k
Summary: After your first mission with Team Ro, you think you did well. Your captain has another opinion.
AO3 Link
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Even by ANBU standards, this mission was a lot.
Your team had already been out here more than twice the expected two-week timeframe, trapped in a game of cat-and-mouse with your target and his protection detail. A few wrong turns and misunderstood tracks had set the team back over a day. The elements themselves seemed to be against you; the harsh winds and stinging rain of the miserable region ruining a good portion of the team’s supplies and morale.
When you finally caught up to your target, the enemy outnumbered you nearly three to one. But like so many before them, they made the mistake of underestimating your captain.
Kakashi Hatake had been a member of the ANBU for nearly a decade—a feat that was practically unheard of. You heard that he’d joined at a young age at the request of the Fourth Hokage, and had been named Captain in practically no time. It was easy to see why. Kakashi was an excellent captain and expert strategist, and he had a reputation far and wide for his ruthlessness toward his enemies. Just a few hours ago, when your team found the target, the enemy had recognized your captain and referred to him as Cold-blooded Kakashi.
You considered that moniker as you smoothed out your bedroll for another night on the rough forest floor, wondering how accurate it really was. It was true that Kakashi wasn't a big talker, but that was the case with most of the shinobi in the ANBU. Still, he was a strange combination of protective and standoffish, known to take on the burden of a fight and insist his subordinates keep their distance. Whether it was for your own safety or just so you would stay out of his way, you supposed you should be grateful regardless.
Honestly, it was thanks to Kakashi’s quick thinking that the whole team emerged from this fight not only victorious but with minor injuries. You had just enough medical supplies to treat the wounds of your two teammates while your captain scoured the perimeter of the crude camp where you would spend the last night outside the village. It would be a long trek back tomorrow, but within less than 24 hours, you would be home for the first time in over a month. 
You were just lying down when Kakashi returned. “Status?”
“They’ll still need to be checked out at the hospital when we get home,” you answered, “but they’ll be fine for the rest of the trip.”
“Good. I'll have them take first watch. You rest and recover your chakra. I'll wake you when it’s your shift.”
“Yes Captain.”
He disappeared as quickly as he'd shown up. As you laid down, you felt a sense of unease rise in your stomach at your captain’s tone. You were hoping he would offer you some kind of encouragement or praise after the long mission and your ability to heal your teammates with only the tools at hand. But maybe he was still angry with you for the vulnerable position you'd been in earlier.
In a foolish attempt to prove yourself, you’d rushed in despite Kakashi’s warning to stay back. An enemy's katana had nearly cut right through your neck, and you’d have been toast if not for Kakashi blocking the weapon and suffering a deep wound on the shoulder. A wound he hadn't even let you examine, never mind heal. His hard stare when you thanked him for saving you kept you from saying much more.
You had been so excited to serve on team Ro, hoping that working with Kakashi would earn you more recognition within the ANBU. At this point, it seemed more likely that you’d be demoted.
Oh well, you sighed and closed your eyes, feeling your waning adrenaline rush finally give way to exhaustion. We still have the journey home tomorrow. I'll make sure I make a good impression.
“Y/N.”
Your eyes shot open, heart racing as you tried to prepare for danger. When your vision adjusted to the minimal light, you saw Kakashi crouched beside you; his porcelain mask discarded, his arms crossed and his face stern.
“Right, my shift…” you muttered, lifting yourself up on one elbow.
Kakashi stopped you with his hand on your shoulder, his grip as strong as iron. “No. Not yet.”
“Then what—”
“There’s something I need you to do.”
Your palms started to sweat under his sharp gaze. He clearly expected you to understand, but you were lost. If it wasn't time for you to go on guard, what did he want?
The blood on his shoulder caught your eye, flooding you with both relief and embarrassment. You should have taken care of his injury before going to sleep, regardless of your low chakra, and regardless of his insistence that you left it alone. It was your job as the team’s medic to heal your teammates, and leaving your captain with a gash like that was unforgivable.
Channeling your healing chakra to gather in your hands, you started to sit upright, thinking he wanted you to get right to work. But to your mounting confusion, he only held you back with more force.
“No, Y/N,” he barked, his eyebrow angled sharply over his dark eye. “Did I tell you to do that?”
“Uh, no, but—”
“You do know that I wouldn't even have that wound if you were better at following directions, right?” he chastised you. “Your insubordination is a detriment to the entire team. Next time it could be fatal.”
Much as you’d been expecting a lecture, your face reddened with embarrassment at his admonition. Silence was easier to handle than this.
“I can't let your behavior continue,” he announced. “We’re going to work on your obedience.”
“Obedience?” you echoed.
“In the field, a squad captain has absolute authority, and squad members are expected to follow without question. Is that understood?”
“Yes sir.”
“Show me.” Abruptly, he put his hands on his thighs and pushed himself to stand at his full height, looming over you. “Sit up on your knees.”
“Wh…what?”
“Don't you know an order when you hear one?” he snapped. “On. Your. Knees.”
You quickly got into position, keeping your eyes on his face to be ready for his next instruction. But this position was beyond distracting. You’d been harboring a crush on the genius captain for a while, and this suggestive placement was making your heart race.
Get a grip, you shouted in your mind, fighting the urge to rub your thighs together. But your mind went blank as his hands went to the fastening of his pants.
His gloved hands moved quickly; one hand flicking open the button as the other reached inside. You felt your brain stutter as he pulled out his cock; pale and thick with veins running from the blunt tip down to the base. The tip was shiny with a small drop of precum beading at the slit. You knew your eyes were as wide as saucers, but you couldn't look away, watching as his hand wrapped around the length and he started stroking himself.
“Now open your mouth. And stick out your tongue.”
You were so mesmerized, you barely registered his low voice. “H-huh?”
“How stupid can you be?” he snarled. “You're supposed to be showing me that you can follow directions. Don't tell me this is the best you can do?”
His harsh tone finally got through to you. You looked up at his face, your clit throbbing at how closely his onyx eye watched you. With that image, the order wasn't even necessary. Your jaw dropped open of its own accord, mouth watering as your tongue pushed out beyond your lower lip.
If it weren't for that mask on the lower half of his face, you were sure you’d be staring at a wide grin.
“That’s better.”
Kakashi took a small step forward, bringing his body close enough that he could rest his cockhead on your pink tongue. He let out a quiet, gravelly moan and pumped himself faster, rubbing the smooth skin of his tip over your tongue.
“Fuck,” he exhaled, the expletive making your core clench around nothing. The taste of his salty skin and precum caused you to drool. You stuck out your tongue a little more and bobbed your head forward, ready to wrap your lips around his shaft, but he buried his free hand in your hair and held you back by your roots.
“Don't act without instruction from your commander,” he barked, twisting your hair around his fingers to maneuver you and force eye contact. “Greedy slut, you want my cock that badly?”
You nodded as best you could, the tip of your tongue gliding back and forth over the ridge of his cockhead.
“I want you to show me that you can be a good girl and follow directions,” he said. “Then I’ll let you suck it.”
Kakashi loosened his grip on your hair and released himself, letting the stiff appendage bob freely in front of your face. “First, kiss the tip.”
It took every ounce of your willpower to resist taking as much of him in your mouth as you could handle. But as badly as you wanted him, you wanted his approval more.
You puckered your lips and kissed him, letting your lips roll over his skin to engulf half of his head. You held still for a few seconds before releasing him with an audible smooch, then looked up at him with wide eyes for your next instruction.
“Again.”
He had you repeat the kiss twice before changing gears, directing you to kiss down the underside of his cock, then lick him from balls from tip.
“Fuck, that tongue,” he groaned, letting his eye roll and his head fall back. “Hmmm, I think I finally found what you’re good for.”
You blushed, embarrassed by how wet his comments were making you. Lust clouded your brain and everything else melted away. He sounded so beautiful, you wanted to listen to him and look at him forever. You didn’t even notice how distracted you’d gotten from your task until Kakashi spoke.
“Don't stop,” he ordered, his hand on the back of your skull pulling your face into his crotch. “Not now, when you’re finally doing something right.”
You went back to work with twice the enthusiasm, worshiping Kakashi’s dick with your lips and tongue—kissing, tasting, and licking every inch and working him up until he was twitching against your cheek at the lightest kitten lick. Suddenly, he held you back with a quiet whimper, his body rigid. You looked up at him, seeing his eyes screwed shut and his jaw set tight. His cock was red and shiny, precum leaking from the engorged head.
He peeled his eye open and pinched the base of his dick, abruptly slapping it down on your right cheek. When he pulled away, a thick glob of precum stuck to your skin and trailed back to his cock.
“Dirty whore,” he exhaled. “You’re just desperate for me, aren't you?”
Kakashi pressed his thumb into the puddle on your face, smearing his fluids down across your skin until his thumb rested on your lower lip. “Eat it.”
You eagerly took his thumb into your mouth and sucked, your cheeks hollowing as you ran your tongue all over his rough skin.
“You’re such a filthy cumslut. I bet you want me to cum right in your mouth.”
“Mhmm,” you hummed around him, nodding and blinking up at him.
With another curse uttered under his breath, Kakashi tugged you back and moved his free hand to grip his cock. He tilted your head to look up at him, then slapped his dick back into your face.
“If you suck it well enough, maybe I will.”
Your body shivered, so eager for him that you couldn't even think straight. Your lust had you paralyzed. It was almost like you needed to take the time to really memorize this moment; unable to process that your most shameful fantasies were actually coming true.
“Aww, are you waiting for an order?” he condescendingly asked, tilting his head to the side. “Looks like you can be taught after all.”
He dragged your head back, putting just enough room between you for his cock to point at you like a predator, locked on its prey. “Alright,” he sneered. “Suck my cock, you little whore.”
Finally.
You opened your mouth wide and guided him in with your tongue. Kakashi hissed and used his grip on your hair to pull you in closer, forcing more and more of his length into your mouth. You whined around him as his tip already prodded at the back of your throat, teasing your gag reflex while you still had inches to go.
“Fucking shit—” he hissed, pinching his eye closed. “That feels so fucking good.”
His other hand joined the first in your hair, giving him complete control as he started thrusting against your mouth. You swallowed around him, tightening the muscles of your throat as he tugged you back and forth like a doll. Saliva bubbled in the corners of your mouth, drooling down your chin.
“Messy little cocksleeve.”
Kakashi grabbed your face with both hands, manipulating you back and forth as he roughly fucked your mouth. Curses flew from his covered mouth, muffled by his mask but still reaching your ears. He slowed his pace and looked down at you, still with that patronizing gleam in his eye.
“Show me your tits.”
You pulled the hem of your shirt up, bundling it and your lightweight bra under your chin. Without the support of your clothes, your breasts swung freely, enthralling your typically-aloof captain.
“Look at you. You’re such a slut for me.”
He moved one of his hands from your head down to your breast, bending his back to reach lower and experimentally pinch your hardened nipple. The movement forced his cock further down your throat, making you choke. But it felt so good, you couldn’t help but arch your back to give him easier access, earning you a haughty chuckle. His callused fingers toyed with your nipple until you were nearly shaking. Then he moved to the other, sharply smacking your breast before pinching your nipple tightly.
You wanted him to touch every part of you; to use those fingers over every inch of your skin. As your tongue lapped at the underside of his cock, you couldn't help but rock your hips in search of just a little relief, praying you would find out what those fingers would feel like inside of you.
Kakashi stopped playing with your breasts, opting instead to regain his complete control over your head. With both hands molded to the back of your skull, he pulled you further forward, not even letting you take a breath to prepare. 
“Come on, Y/N. Take the whole thing.”
Tears stung the corners of your eyes as he forced you just that last centimeter closer, suffocating you with his cock down your throat and your nose in his hair.
“Stay right there,” he exhaled, sounding like the personified version of lust. “Learn your place.”
Looking directly into his eye, you hummed your assent—a muffled song to the tune of Yes, Captain. You could see his chest rise and fall as he steadied his breathing. His eye roamed all over you, taking in the lewd scene with a smirk.
“Do you like being my fuck toy?”
Another hum. Yes, Captain.
“You like serving me? Warming my cock in your throat?”
Yes, Captain.
“Wanna give me that slutty cunt?”
YES, CA—
He abruptly pulled himself out of your mouth, leaving you gasping for breath; choking on your built-up saliva and his gooey precum. The tears were fresh in your eyes as you did your best to recover, only thinking of how to be ready for his next instruction.
With a nod his head, he gestured to your bedroll. “Take off your pants and get on all fours.”
Your fingers were clumsy as they worked at your clothes, wanting to follow his order as quickly and efficiently as possible. His pants dropped to the ground and he kicked them off, impatience nearly visible under his skin. As you positioned yourself on the bedroll, you regretted that you wouldn’t be able to look at him anymore. But when he knelt behind you—the heat of him pressed against your inner thigh—regret was the last thing on your mind.
With one of his hands gripping your thigh to hold you still, Kakashi ran the index finger of his other hand along your dripping folds.
“Pretty…”
The compliment was barely a whisper, probably not meant for your ears at all. But that one single word made you preen like a schoolgirl. You arched your back to present for him further, and you were sure you heard him chuckle.
“Get ready,” he exhaled, removing his finger and replacing it with the head of his cock. “Gonna fuck you like the whore you are.”
Kakashi snapped his hips forward, burying himself inside you and stretching you wider and fuller with that one thrust than you’d ever felt before.
“AHH—”
His free hand flew up to cover your mouth, cutting off the sound. You whimpered as his body weight pushed down on you, his mouth right by your ear. “Quiet, Y/N,” he whispered, “or the others will hear you.”
You nodded, biting your tongue as Kakashi pulled his hips back just to pound into you again. He kept his hand over your mouth and you could smell your wetness that was still sticky on his fingers. 
“Or maybe you want that,” Kakashi challenged you in a hushed tone, beginning to fuck you in earnest. “You want them to know your captain is balls deep in your wet little cunt?”
The idea made you shiver as you pictured what you must look like right now; messy hair, tear-stained cheeks, mouth covered by Kakashi’s gloved hand. Eyes rolling back in your head, lids fluttering with every one of his deep thrusts.
“No, no you'll be quiet for me,” he smirked. “You understand how important it is to follow your captain’s orders now, don't you?”
Your fingers dug into the ground below you, threatening to tear through the material of your bedroll. Horrifically lewd sounds continued to try and work their way past his hand. You weren’t trying to test him, but you couldn’t fight it; not when his formidable dick was dragging so perfectly along all your most sensitive spots.
You tried your best to be silent, but you hardly saw the point between the sounds of your pussy squelching with his thrusts, his hips smacking into your ass, his breathing short and broken in your ear. 
“Mmmm you’ll do whatever your captain tells you, won't you? So eager to please me; it’s pathetic.”
You threw your hips back into him, meeting his thrusts with messy, slippery contact. Your hot arousal was coating your inner thighs, your body prepared with a seemingly endless supply to allow your captain to fuck you for as long as he wanted.
“Fuck you feel so good,” he panted, his hips stuttering. “That's right, you're doing so well now, taking my whole cock every single time. That's my good girl. I knew you could follow orders.”
Those praises uttered in his low, thunderous voice had you trembling. You couldn’t believe how quickly he’d gotten you so close to finishing, but the pressure below your navel was so high that you were whimpering into his hand.
“If you cum on my cock, you’re mine,” he grunted. “Only mine. Is that understood?”
“Nmhmm!” You shook your head as your walls fluttered around him, suddenly clutching down and holding him in place as your body convulsed. If not for his hand over your mouth, you were sure you would have screamed out his name paired with every curse you knew, and maybe a few new ones because there simply weren’t enough to carry you through this incredible pleasure.
“Fuck!” Kakashi whined. “Fuck that feels so good.” He released your mouth just as you were coming down from your orgasm, only to reach between your legs and fiercely rub your clit. “Do it again,” he growled. “Cum again. Right now.”
Your body complied automatically. Euphoria again sparked through your body and a guttural sob tore its way out of your mouth. You hadn’t completely recovered, yet here you were: inner muscles squeezing down on his cock which continued to bully past your defenses, despite your sensitivity.
“Ohhh you’re gonna help your captain cum now, aren't you Y/N?” His fingers gripped your hips and yanked you back and forth desperately, “G-good—fuuucking girl.”
Kakashi slammed your ass into his hips, the tip of his cock bruising your insides in a frenzy before flooding you with hot, sticky cum. He kept your ass flush against him, his cock reaching further into your body than you thought possible. You tightened around him as he dumped every bit of his pent-up seed in your submissive cunt, unwilling to lose even a drop.
You felt him twitch with his last efforts to empty himself. A mixture of sweat and cum covered the backs of your legs, sticking the two of you together. You heard his heavy breathing in your ear, the weight of his chest on your back nearly causing you to crumble.
In one motion, he leaned away and pulled out of you, leaving you a shaking, trembling mess. You couldn’t even catch yourself when your arm gave out and sent you dropping to the ground, legs sprawled out flat behind you.
You heard Kakashi moving around behind you: the swishing of his clothes as he got dressed and the sound of his footsteps.
“So, um…clean yourself up,” he stammered. “Then, uh, take the northern perimeter. For the…for patrol.”
You were sure he had left long before you had the strength to smile and sigh, “Yes…Captain.”
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…
You hurried down the hall to the Hokage’s office, heart pounding with every step. When your fellow ANBU shinobi gave you the message that Lord Third was summoning you right away, you felt your stomach drop. Did one of your teammates know what happened in the woods? Kakashi hadn't said a word to you the entire trip back. How much trouble were you in?
What’s the punishment for getting fucked by your captain, anyways?
Another ANBU met you at the door and announced your arrival to the Sandaime, who called for you to enter. You forced your legs not to shake as you stepped into the office.
Lord Hiruzen sat behind his desk, with Kakashi standing beside him. Kakashi wore his porcelain mask over his face, and he stood as still as a statue while the Hokage spoke.
“I’ve reviewed the team’s report on your last mission,” he began. “It turned out to be quite the challenge, wouldn’t you say?”
Which part, the assassination, or the fucking?
“Our team faced a number of challenges,” you agreed, “but we were able to eliminate the target and complete the mission.”
“Yes, a job well done.” The Hokage nodded with a smile. “According to your captain's evaluation, I would like to formally assign you to team Ro, permanently.”
Against your better judgment, you looked at Kakashi. He remained stoic as ever, and you would have given anything to see his face.
“Really?”
“According to this report, you did a wonderful job tending to your team,” Lord Third continued. “Team Ro has been short a member for a while now, and I think you will be the perfect fit.”
“T-thank you, Lord Hokage.”
“Now, both of you go home and get some well-deserved rest. I’m sure I’ll have another assignment for the team soon enough.”
“Yes sir.”
Sufficiently dismissed, you turned and walked out of the office, Kakashi’s nearly silent footsteps behind you.
“Congratulations,” Kakashi stoically offered as you neared the end of the hall.
You waited until you were sure you were out of earshot before you stopped dead in your tracks, turning and blocking Kakashi’s path with your body. You reached out and lifted the hound mask from his face, then leaned closer, enjoying the surprise behind his eye and the flush of his cheeks.
“All thanks to you, Captain.”
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celestialbeing2 · 3 months
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hii! would you write headcanons for poseidon!reader and luke? <3
figuring you out
a child of poseidon!reader x luke castellan fanfic
warnings - not proofread
a/n - thank you for being my first request, anon! this is also my first official story so thanks for giving me a clear foundation to build off of. i hope you enjoy it!
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backstory
arriving at camp half-blood wasn't easy. you arrived there with your protector covered in open cuts and you were physically weak. your mental state wasn't well either. suddenly finding out you're the child of a GOD is a tough pill to swallow. figuring out who that god was felt like an even bigger pill. your stay at camp was rocky the first few days. mr. d had a...interesting character. the ares kids were shockingly rowdy, and everyone found their place (with a few exceptions). you were like the odd one out.
that was until luke sat next to you for lunch for a day. it was awkward at first, but one day grew to nearly everyday. you two started to bond more outside of lunch. you two were always found laughing hysterically in your cabin, and physically close during activities. he also showed you around camp, even though you told him chiron already did. he was just happy to finally get to know you.
crush headcanons (before you are claimed)
during the crushing period, luke would most likely do little things for you. he would open doors for you, tie your laces before an activity, and always give you pointers during archery days. you thought he was dong it to be friendly, but the true reason was far off
similarly with percy, he would stick by your side as you tried to do every activity you could to get an idea as to who your godly parent was.
during a specific activity, if it didn't have an outcome you liked, you would always give you encouraging words to keep trying. he would never want to see you feel like you weren't good enough
during capture the flag, he would protect you from the red team whenever they got too close to you
he would also stay up with you at night, listening to whatever stories you have for him. whether they were funny, upsetting, or just random thoughts, he was very open to hearing your voice.
he would constantly ask you to sword fight with him, even if you couldn't move an inch from all of the other activities. he told you he wanted to build your strength and endurance. secretly he believed you looked attractive with sweat dripping down your neck and forehead.
================================================
once you finally found out that poseidon was your father, you were filled with joy. however, realizing you were at a higher risk of being killed by monsters turned your smile upside down.
crush headcanons (after you are claimed)
if you ever feel fear from the reality of you being claimed, luke was always open to being a shoulder you could cry on. he never stopped being eager to listen to what you had to say.
once he found out your assigning as well, he was happy for you. not because you were at a higher risk of death, but because you were finally claimed. he loved seeing a smile on your face, even if it was for a split second.
when you started to pack your stuff to move into your new cabin, he was a bit disappointed. he would miss the late night talks you guys would have. but that didn't stop him from hanging out with you.
he would push you even harder to "build your strength and endurance", but this time to actually benefit you, you needed it.
dating headcanons
luke would love holding your hand, lying in your lap, and resting his head on your shoulder. he just loved being physically close to you.
it took him a bit to tell say "i love you", but not because he wasn't sure if he loved you. he did. he just didn't want to face rejection
he would open up to you about his problems and insecurities, and thrive off of your support and advice. he would wait to speak about his trauma for when you guys are in a committed relationship because he wouldn't want you to think any less of him (we all know you wouldn't)
being a child of poseidon, he always complimented your ability to swim. he would throw little compliments your way on away occasion, even for the littlest things. he just loves giving and receiving praise.
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bingwriterxo · 10 months
Text
my tears are becoming a sea
pairing: vada cavell x reader
summary: in which you have to wait, and wait, and wait
warnings: descriptions of school shooting, blood
word count: 900+
author's note: highly suggest listening to 'my tears are becoming a sea' by M83 while you read
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Cops surrounded the perimeter of the school, their radios chattering and the sirens on their cars screaming. Students were scattered along the parking lot in groups, holding onto one another tightly; tears slid down their faces so quickly that no one bothered to wipe them away. Teachers frantically tried to do head counts and swallowed down bile when they couldn't account for a child. Parents were desperately attempting to push through the police barriers, yelling the names of kids they prayed were outside.
You found yourself shell-shocked in the back of an ambulance, your eyes trained on the front doors of the school while an EMT bandaged your wound. A bullet had just barely skimmed your shoulder--enough for blood, but not nearly deep enough to need real treatment.
You had already scanned all of the faces that you could see, yet none of them were who you were looking for. None of them were Vada, and a rock settled in your stomach at the thought that she was still in there--there, where gunshots could be heard and screams were filtering out the windows.
Time was moving slower, each second that passed feeling like an hour, each minute feeling like a decade. For every moment that went by in which her head of brown hair or her face full of freckles didn't appear, you swore that you could feel a piece of your heart break.
And then, the gunshots stopped. There was silence from within the school.
You scrambled to stand as the first line of kids walked out, their clothes bloodied and their bodies trembling. No one missed the tears that cut through the grime on their faces; no one could ignore the cries that fell from their lips. A shiver ran through you when Vada wasn't among them.
You hopped down from the ambulance, ignoring the calls of the EMT, and pushed your way through the horde. No one tried to stop you. No one wanted to get any closer than they already were.
The police tape held you back from rushing forward. You were forced to stand there, behind that yellow line, and wait. You were forced to hope that you'd see her walking out, uninjured and alive.
You watched as your classmates walked past, into the arms of their friends, into the arms of their parents. The blood on them was passed from skin to clothing. A few of them were ushered to the ambulances, the blood painting them red coming from their own wounds.
Then, another line of students. More faces you recognized from classes, or the halls, or the football team, or the pep band. More students who looked like their legs were about to give out, who could barely seem to breathe without sobbing.
Still no Vada.
Anxiety was choking you, its strong hand squeezing your lungs and making it impossible for you to take a breath. You gripped the police tape like it would help and ignored the pain that shot through your shoulder. It didn't matter, not when she still wasn't visible.
The principal walked out, face buried in his hands as he wailed.
The gym teacher followed, his jaw clenched and silent tears rolling down his cheeks.
You saw your math teacher, one of the lunch ladies, a janitor.
Each person that exited the school made it harder for you to breathe, made your tears fall faster, made your hands tremble more. Each person that wasn't Vada made you pinch yourself, wishing that you would wake up from the nightmare.
One after another, students tumbled out of the doors, and the longer you waited, the more you prepared yourself for the fact that she may not walk out.
A boy from your history class; a girl you had asked to the dance back in middle school; Quinton Hasland; a teacher that should've retired years ago but never did; Mia Reed, her hand gripping tightly to--
"Vada!" you shouted, your voice cracking with relief as you saw her.
Her head whipped in your direction, and you sobbed at the sight of her, your breath finally returning to you. Her eyes were wide and her lips moved, saying something that you couldn't hear over the rush of blood in your ears.
She let go of Mia and sprinted to you on shaking legs, ducking under the police tape and launching herself into your waiting arms. You caught her with a strength you didn't know you possessed, your injury screaming but your mind only focused on her--her weight pressed against you, her hair in your face, her nails digging into your back.
"You're alive," she cried into your neck, tears drenching your shirt and turning it even darker than it already was from your wound. She was trembling viciously. "You're alive. I didn't--I wasn't--"
You held her tighter, like she would disappear if you didn't. "You're okay," you mumbled against the top of her head. "You're okay. I've got you. You're okay."
Vada choked out a breath and pulled back, eyes scanning your face. "You're alive."
You nodded, hiccuping. "I'm alive. You're alive."
She kissed you with salty lips, pressing herself into you as much as she possibly could, like you were the air she needed to breathe, like you were the only thing keeping her alive.
"We're alive," she muttered when she buried herself back into your neck. "We're alive."
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waitmyturtles · 3 months
Text
Last Twilight, episode 12: final reflections
Wow. It took me all of this past weekend to process this finale, notwithstanding the usual life craziness that has dogged me lately.
Let me preface this whole thing by saying that I'm confused by what I watched. I'd say that, overall -- I actually quite liked this series, and I especially, absolutely ADORED JimmySea, Namtan, and Mark, and their acting. JimmySea kicked major ass, and I really hope they get another big and complicated show to chew on.
I also want to say that between episodes 11 and 12, I felt that I saw uncharacteristic editing clunkiness from Aof Noppharnach and his team that left a lot of necessary emotional and ethical processing on the cutting room floor. I think that's what's ultimately making me feel uneasy about the process of watching this, but -- funnily enough, I'm not nearly as "angry" about the ending as I was with other bad shows that fell apart in their last quarter recently. It was obvious that MhokDay were going to get together.
But I needed to walk a few more steps with them on their journey to that end.
Before I got my eyes on the finale, a few reactions on social media, from Tumblr to Twitter gave me the case of the jibbles. Namely: that the story of Last Twilight would have worked better if Day had stayed blind through the end.
I wasn't really understanding how that construction could work without walking through some sort of ethical minefield.
Now that I've seen the finale -- especially that infamous 4/4 segment -- I understand better what those arguments were saying.
Yet, I'm still dogged by a kind of ethical confusion here. And maybe that was one of the points of this finale, another one of Aof Noppharnach's perhaps now-famous-or-infamous emotionally inconclusive endings.
To me, there are two ethical potholes that this show stumbled on:
1) The ethics WITHIN the fictional piece itself for a character to not depict the process of considering the various fates he might face vis à vis a potentially reversible impairment, and
2) The ethics of a REAL audience ultimately wanting a different outcome for a fictional character to NOT have an impairment reversed.
TL;DR — I don’t think Last Twilight spent enough time having Day consider the permanence or impermanence of the various fates he faced, including permanent blindness. I don’t think the characters, and as such, the audience, spent enough time understanding that a corneal transplant was always going to be Day’s endgame.
Last Twilight was marketed as a show focused on disability, on a man going blind in a society that prioritizes the able-bodied, and how he would adjust to his disability, and of course (this being GMMTV), his falling in love. As fans, we were prepared to receive a whole show about a character with a disability, not as a side pairing, à la Heart and Li Ming in Moonlight Chicken.
It so happened that Day's visual impairment was corneal deterioration -- a condition that could lead to permanent blindness, and thus qualify him for a corneal transplant.
What I'm struggling with is the crux of the ethical dilemma that this show was ALWAYS going to have to deal with: that a corneal impairment of the kind that Day experienced, in the prime of his life, could very well be reversed with surgery, a surgery that has tremendous success rates.
As such -- as we got that clarification in drips throughout the series -- this show was actually not ONLY going to be about the newfound adjustment of a recently-impaired man to an ableist society. It was ALWAYS going to have this door of ANOTHER major change, the reversal of the impairment, just slightly cracked open. I'm not sure that I, as a viewer, was fully prepared for this, even as Night and Mae Mhon spoke about "eye donations" as givens in the middle of the series. I believe the show needed to be much louder, earlier, about the "hope" that Day could "go back" to "living a normal life," instead of framing the high majority of the show around his adjustments to his impairment.
As we went through Day's adjustment to life outside of his room, I believe we needed to hear, FROM DAY HIMSELF, that a corneal transplant was a conclusion that HE believed in, that HE wanted. A failure of this series was that we unfortunately only heard that from his family members, leaving us to only ASSUME that the conclusion of the reversal of his impairment was ALSO Day's intention.
For a story that was very much about an individual's developing agency and self-advocacy: I believe I needed to hear from Day himself that he was good and ready for the final surgery. I only assume that was the case, as I saw his own body and mind in the hospital. But I believe, for dramatic success, that I could have used a basic, "I'm ready," from him, to make segment 4/4 more complete and contextual, against the story of adjustment and resilience we had so far seen before then.
And what a story of adjustment and resilience we had gotten, as Day had established a full career for himself, without Mhok next to him, during one of the time jumps of episode 12.
For my sake, as I process what I watched this weekend, I want to come to grips with what I thought were the major themes of this show, and see if I can come to some sort of sensible conclusion about what happened here.
This show was focused on:
1) the romance between Day and Mhok, 2) Mhok's caretaking and companionship being the lever to help Day out of his room and back into the world from which he had retreated after the onset of his visual impairment, 3) Day slowly learning how to function again in a society that prioritizes the able-bodied vis à vis his visual impairment, 4) Day learning how to self-advocate for himself in the face of those who condescend to him and/or keep him trapped in compassion bias postures,
and more that I'm sure I'm missing, but those are the themes that resonated the most with me.
I think the general feeling on Tumblr is that, save for the romance, that themes 3 and 4 were contradicted out of existence in the face of the sudden flip to the surgery of segment 4/4.
I think not hearing from Day himself that he was ready and willing for the surgery was a lost moment. I don't believe Day was ever acting as if he would choose anything else OTHER than surgery throughout the series. BUT, AT THE SAME TIME: what we had watched prior to 4/4 was his story of adjustment.
My biggest ethical concern here, vis à vis the audience reactions that I've read, is that NO ONE -- in fiction or in real life -- owes me a story of heroism. If there is an individual who has been impaired since birth, or is dealing with a degenerative condition later in their life, and has the opportunity to address or reverse the condition, who am I to say that that individual SHOULD NOT address their condition?
For me, this is huge. I believe this is a huge ethical dilemma that Last Twilight ultimately does not face. I wish this series had been much more centered, earlier on, about the utter REALITY that Day could have his condition reversed by surgery, in words he'd say himself, rather than assumptions made for him, on behalf of his family, who.... I presume were established to be some sort of legal conservators for him, as Mhon continued to be the one to receive eye donation text messages.
(I concede that I don't know if this is a more common set-up for disabled individuals in Thailand, as I would assume in the States, that Day himself would have been the one to receive that message directly.)
For this show to have seemed emotionally and artistically complete: I needed to hear from Day himself that surgery was an endgame that he was banking his hopes on. I also needed to understand, much more statistically clearly vis à vis the show, of the absolute risks that Day faced towards having permanent blindness for the rest of his life. Because the show ALSO needed to focus on the establishment of the romance between Mhok and Day, we missed out on the show taking time to explain to us, the viewers, of the absolute risks that Day faced in any of these scenarios -- and thus, we would have had MUCH more context into the nuances of the resilience that Day needed to establish for himself as he re-adjusted to society, with his numerous fates lying before him.
I'm going to borrow the words of @hallowpen in their final review here, to say that this show at the end needed much more "breathing room." I think @hallowpen is so right in saying it like this, because these two factors that I just laid out, geez -- the first 7/8ths of the series being about Day's social adjustment against the utter suddenness of the successful surgery and his sudden jump back to what's been translated as his "normal life" -- just clash so tonally. (I do wonder if we're getting as nuanced a translation on "normal" as we could be.)
I think this is about the most confused final review of a show that I've written. There is an ethical heaviness to all of this that's weighing on me, that I think I still need time to comb through.
I also feel that I simply do not know enough, by way of my lack of cultural competency into how Thai society approaches issues of public and private health, if Day’s unseen choice to get the surgery would have been a given among majority Thai audiences, AND that majority Thai audiences would not have asked for the kind of internal debates that I think the show could have used.
I feel thrilled that Day can see Poomjai/Mee, after making that wish in episode 11.
But I think, if this show was about a journey for someone to learn how to successfully advocate for his own agency -- that, at the very end, I needed to see that agency exercised, by him, to get to the part of the reversal of the impairment that I assumed he wanted.
Again: Day doesn't owe me his story of heroism. If fiction doesn't want to give me that, from a character with a recent impairment, I don't have the right to ask for it.
But the missing bits of artistry to get me, the viewer, to only an assumption, has led me to surprising ethical places, that will leave me wondering about what happened in this series for a long time.
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theirishwolfhound · 2 days
Text
I do love the idea of an unhinged reader. Not like brutally unhinged but... like the kind that is harmlessly annoying and is just a brat to Task Force 141.
Like the mother fuckers nickname is Menace and they're somehow still alive after everything so they make it everyone's problem.
They're great at what they do, amazing even— but no team wants menaces like Menace, not even the heavens nor the hells want the damn person.
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This is the same Menace who wears a devilish half-mask, but only above their mouth so people can see their shit-eating grin (think similar to the ghoul mask above) as they leave small firecrackers under the lids of toilet seats, or so people notice the way their lips curl up in mock disgust when someone is talking.
Menace who only goes through with the SAS training to one up another soldier they despised, enough to have sicked a pack of squirrels on that they personally hand fed a few days after— they even bonded enough with the little fuckers that when they were finally transferred out to be someone else's problem, the squirrels would steal the remaining soldiers foods.
Laswell, whose grand idea of knocking the boys down a peg since she's tired of their shenanigans includes getting this Menace of a person to join 141 with faint threats of blackmail— to which Coporal Menace respects, leading Kate to being the only one who is not subjected to the dumpster fire that is about to happen, but is only encouraged by her wife.
Price, who in his right mind, nearly rejects the idea of this misfit joining because of their turnover rate but gives in when Laswell tells him it would be worth it— that her wife likes them and they're an excellent solider after all.
Immediately upon arrival, Menace lives up to their name— pissing on the side of the building as if to mark their new territory before deciding it would be a good idea to rile up the behemoth of a man by asking Price: "Didn't anyone tell the poor bastard that Halloween was four fuckin' months ago? Look at 'em he looks emo."
It wasn't until then that the poor Captain realized how much of an untamed brat his new corporal was— only to be further set in after the first two weeks on base.
Sure Menace got along with Soap, but they were far too alike for Menace's likings and Gaz, sweet sweet Gaz, gave them a few too man odd glances and playfully snide remarks for their liking— meanwhile Ghost had made them scrub the bathroom from top to bottom with a small sponge, and well they could already see the forming regret in Price's eyes.
So Menace did what they did best.
It started out simple: silently attaching balloons on strings to the back of their clothes without them noticing, flipping all of the furniture upside down during the middle of the night, purposefully mocking every single move of one of the operators for a full day, sugar in the salt shaker or salt in the sugar dish, you name it they did it.
Glitterbomb the captain? Oh yeah, and there's still glitter in his mustache.
Tied the two sergeants' doors together so that neither could open it? Done and done, they were locked in their rooms for a good hour until someone cut the rope.
Move the lieutenant’s furniture two inches to the right so that he would constantly stub his toe? Yeah, you can practically see him fuming after every trip to his office.
And what irked the lads the most? Menace kept getting away without being caught— managing to even out sneak Ghost, which the only reason for it is: Menace knowing they don't know what they look like without that mask. So obviously they take it off and blend in with the many other people on base.
They made a fool of their sergeants, their lieutenant, and their captain and it was time to get back at the cunning prankster— but Menace grew suspicious. Usually they would have been booted out by a normal team by then, but what Menace came to realize a bit too late was that Task Force 141 was not normal.
And reality came to a head when Menace was called to Price's office to collect something— only for that something to be a bucket of ice cold water falling onto their head and for the captain to tell their now soaking wet and cold Coporal: "Game's on, brat."
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shantechni · 8 months
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I can't find the post right now because I never bothered to save it like an idiot💀but I came across someone talking about one of Splinter's scenes in New Girl in Town when Leo lets the others handle a mission without him and I wanted to add my two cents.
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Yeah, it seems wrong on the surface for Splinter to say Leo wasn't in a position to decide whether or not he should lead the guys, and it also seems unfair for Splinter to say he should bear the responsibility of leadership instead of shirking it off on Raph out of frustration with his brothers and their lack of appreciation or understanding. It especially may make one think Leo should be allowed to throw a tantrum because leading isn't going how he wants it to, and his brothers should see how it feels to function without him.
But that wasn't the point.
The point was that Leo allowed his brothers to walk off into a dangerous situation without guidance simply because he was tired of going back and forth with Raph and his criticisms.
Mikey and Donnie have their moments too, but in this particular episode, they're in the background as they witness another falling out between their leader and the resident hothead of the family. They didn't ask for Raph to take over, and no sooner than later do they realize Raph didn't know what and all he was signing up for when he freezes up in the middle of the fight. Donnie is the one to formulate a quick plan of action as he snaps Raph back to reality and incapacitates Snakeweed long enough for them to make a swift exit from the hideout, while Mikey remains unconscious for nearly the remainder of the episode due to Raph's poor planning.
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And I seriously need to stress what exactly Splinter tells Leo: "Leadership is not about being appreciated. It is about responsibility. It doesn't matter that the burden is heavy. It matters that you carry it. Now go find your brothers."
He never said Leo was wrong for seeking appreciation; in fact, his future words and actions support the guys learning to show appreciation to Leo, and Splinter is understanding everytime Leo expresses his distress over being responsible for his brothers when they love making his job more difficult than it needs to be. But he needed Leo to understand that when it came to completing a mission effectively without unnecessarily endangering each other, appreciation holds little importance in the moment. You can't use appreciation as a deciding factor for whether or not you should let the team fall apart because your younger brother stomped his foot at you for the umpteenth time.
Splinter emphasizes that leadership isn't something to be taken lightly, and Leo needs to realize it's not something you can just pass on when you aren't in the mood to hold it.
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Now, one can argue that it does matter to some extent that the burden of leadership is heavy and their argument would be valid; they're still kids after all and the burden may gain some pounds depending on the situation. That's why a leader leads a team though, so that the weight of that burden can be shared by the members and their efforts when the leader starts to buckle.
But, once again, Splinter is right. It does matter more that Leo carries that burden, or at least the most weight, because he's the leader. Not only are they at a point where Leo is permanently cemented in place as the leader, and things would undoubtedly be shaken up in an undesired manner should he thrust someone else into that position this far in, but his brothers aren't entirely cut out for leadership. Planning ahead doesn't come easy to Raph, Donnie gets tunnel vision and misses details that would be obvious otherwise, and Mikey doesn't always think his actions through before doing them (a bit of blind faith if you will). That's not to say they can't defy the odds at times, but in the grand scheme of things, they function much better as a team with a leader, and Leo functions much better as a leader with a team.
Team building exercises aside, the way Splinter speaks and phrases things gives the same vibes as a parent telling their child not to make a habit out of something they shouldn't be doing. He was evidently upset with Leo for allowing his frustrations to do the decision making for him, but he specifically wanted Leo to not make this a recurring thing because they won't just fall apart as a team by that point: they'll fall apart as brothers. Giving someone what they want because they irked you into doing it can establish a pattern of behavior that no one wants to deal with the consequences of, and irking someone into giving you what you want isn't something you should do either. It sucks, believe me I know, but Leo shouldn't just let his brothers get their way because he's fed up with them, and Raph shouldn't always get his way because he doesn't agree with Leo's way of doing things.
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Doing that creates the opportunity for something bad to happen that could've easily been avoided, similar to letting a child do something you know they should be broken out of before that something becomes a problem in the future.
And Splinter doesn't seem mad when the guys come rushing back to the lair without Leo in tow, he sounds more disappointed than anything. As I mentioned earlier, he knows the others give Leo a hard time and he's aware that leadership is no easy role to be sworn into, but he was hopeful that his earlier lecturing would bring Leo to his senses and his son would prioritize responsibility over running off to only God knows where. He doesn't linger on his earlier conversation with Leo though, he spends a few seconds to scold Raph for instigating this entire mess in the first place. He makes sure Raph is aware of the pressure Leo has on his shoulders, with an underlying warning to not take leadership so lightly again, and orders him to find Leo.
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Splinter's 15 second lecture leaves much to be desired and explained (that goes without saying), but the curt ending to it, "Now go find your brothers," says it all: leader or not, the bottom line is that your brothers are out there fighting an enemy without your help. Go find them and ensure their safety.
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grumpyeagleandfriends · 3 months
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À Terre II | Poe Dameron x OC/Reader
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A/N: Reader is a Resistance pilot that was captured during a solo reconnaissance mission. They escape by hijacking a ship. Gravely injured and hanging by a thread, they rejoin the Resistance by crash landing just outside of the base on D'Qar. A certain distraught squadron leader runs out to help. 
Hurt/Comfort. Gratuitous, self-serving one shot TWO PART story. I have rewritten the first chapter in addition to adding on a second installment. This time it's in Poe's POV. I don’t like using “y/n” so I give the reader a generic, 1 syllable Star Wars name in the middle of this bad boy.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve been daydreaming about this for months years, so I finally decided to write it all out.  There’s a little bit of a long set up, but I’m not sorry about it.
Rating: T
Warnings: Mentions blood and torture. Shellshock/PTSD vibes. Cursing. Tons of graphic medical stuff. Injections (so needles).
Word count: 5,439
Masterlist
Blood was everywhere when he finally made it inside the cockpit...
Even after he got her free from the safety harness, when all he could do was keep her calm and alert until the med techs arrived, he noticed the way she looked at him, the way she pulled it together to focus every time she nearly fell asleep. Hol hadn’t been able to properly talk, but with every command he gave her, she nodded and tried her best to comply. 
The metallic iron smell of it nearly knocked him back when he opened the canopy. It covered everything. Her shaking hands, her hair, her flight suit, he even found it coating the inside of her mouth after he coaxed her to let him take away the life support mask. 
He desperately wanted to give her water to see if she could drink, but there wasn’t any to be found in the cockpit. He wanted to put her in one of his jackets to help stop her from shaking, but the patch of trees she crashed landed into was too far from his quarters on base. He wanted to scream at her for being so goddamn stubborn, but he couldn’t shake the way she desperately clutched onto his hand. 
They hadn't been careful enough when extracting her. There wasn't enough time to wait for proper immobilization equipment to be brought out to the crash site. Between Hol's blood loss and the ship leaking dangerous fluids into the forest, they made the difficult call to just move. 
Seeing that utmost trust in her eyes, alongside the fear and the pain, was what really scared him the most. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he let her die there, not after she clawed her way back to them.
He had no way of knowing at that moment, but the jostling when they lifted her out caused a broken rib to puncture one of her lungs. Poe couldn’t keep from blaming himself for his own role in that.
The second they placed her onto the hover gurney, her condition began to rapidly deteriorate. One of the med techs caught sight of her blue fingertips and immediately diagnosed a collapsed lung. Poe only just managed to clamber out of the cockpit to see it all. He stood frozen on the wing of the ship while he watched them cut open her flight suit to reveal her bloated chest. The bright glow of a laser scalpel quickly appeared and they made an emergency incision between her ribs to let the trapped air escape.
Once they got her breathing again, she was loaded onto the back of the waiting med truck and they took off. Poe was left to follow behind on the back of a ship technician's speeder bike.
--------------------------------------
He sprinted into the medbay only a few moments after Hol was rushed in on the hover gurney. Bypassing the waiting area and going directly through the sliding double doors was unusually easy. In hindsight it should have struck him as odd that no one stopped him, but the overstretched med staff meant that no one paid him any mind when he planted himself against the back wall in triage.
As promised, Kalonia’s team was already primed and waiting to receive her. Poe had to crane his neck to be able to see, but he counted at least seven different med techs helping transfer her over to the exam bed.
They began working like a well calibrated machine, her dirty flight suit was sliced open and quickly stripped away. As soon as they were connected, the more sophisticated diagnostic scanners lit up and began  displaying the worst of her injuries. Images of her chest cavity were produced on a monitor near the end of the exam bed, along with her vitals.
From where he stood, Poe was able to catch Hol’s foot beginning to subtly twitch. He wondered initially if he had just imagined the movement, but the surrounding med staff began to take notice as well.
“Eyes are beginning to flutter, she might be starting to come around.”  
Dr. Kalonia took a step back as her staff continued their work. She pulled aside the young medic who had been down in the cockpit with Poe. He began rattling off the details of Hol’s condition when found and how exactly she was transported. After a couple of minutes he began gesturing over his shoulder in Poe’s direction, causing Kalonia to promptly look up. Her eyes narrowed when she caught sight of him standing back by the door. 
Shit…
His back stiffened in preparation for an argument that never came.
“Dameron, get over here!”
She issued the instruction like an admiral as she pointed him over to the top of the exam bed.
He didn't think, he just immediately crossed over. The moment he was within reach, she grabbed hold of his arm and brought him to stand where she was.
“Do exactly what you did down at the crash site, alright? Talk to your pilot. Keep her calm.”
Hol’s head gently lolled to the side on the padded exam table, her face slack and eyes half-lidded. She went still once more just as he took his place. He cupped her face in his hands, noting how cool and clammy her skin felt against his palms.
Kalonia stood to his right, a penlight ready in her hand to test the reaction of her patient’s pupils.
“C’mon, Tarmin…” She called while carefully tugging open Hol’s eyelid.
Immediately, there was a weak moan, greatly muffled by the respirator mask. Hol tried to roll away from the touch, but Poe’s hands braced either side of her head.
“Hey, hey- it's okay. Easy, kid, easy.” He whispered, holding her in place just long enough for Kalonia to work.
“Settle down, Lieutenant.” The doctor spoke as she pulled away. “You crash landed on D’Qar. You’re in medical.”
Poe didn't let go once she finished. He continued cradling Hol's head, his short nails scratching at her scalp in some attempt at providing comfort.
Her body was fully exposed under the surgical lights, revealing the extent of the damage that he wasn't able to see back in the cockpit. The bruising along her abdomen and rib cage was mostly black, as if there were large ink blots staining her skin. There were blaster grazes on her right side, localized swelling where her right forearm was clearly fractured, wounds in her lower abdomen...
So much of it jumped out at once, he found it hard to focus on any one injury long enough. He began to wonder just what sort of state she was in before the crash.
Hol emitted another faint groan, one where he could distinctly hear a wheezing sound that came from deep in her chest. Her body jerked from the force of a cough. Red flecks of blood appeared inside the clear respirator mask.
Slowly, she began to blink against the lights. A worry line formed in the center of her forehead.
"No...n-no… "
It was hoarse and strained, but everyone standing around caught the audible plea. Hol's good hand suddenly lifted in an attempt to bat away those touching her.
Dr. Kalonia cursed.
"Restrain her! I'm trying to insert a chest catheter here!”
Padded white cuffs were produced and promptly attached around each of her limbs, securing her to the exam bed.
"Hol, look at me." Poe commanded. He cupped her jaw as he leaned directly over her, giving her no choice but to comply. He made himself the only thing she had to look at. His shadow worked to shield her eyes from the glaring overhead lights while also blocking her view of the med staff.
Her gaze was glassy and unfocused, but she was thankfully looking at him.
"You've got to relax." He urged, his hand smoothing her tangled hair back off her face as he spoke. "We’re trying to patch you up, alright? Let us help."
She blinked at the sound of his voice, and though the distress on her face didn't fade, she went still on the exam bed. Her eyes remained set in his direction.
"There you go, sunshine..." Poe quietly praised, using once again the affectionate name he knew she absolutely hated. "Keep those eyes on me, don't worry about anything else."
His attention never left her, but he was aware that Kalonia and another med tech were beginning to work at prepping the incision site to insert the chest tube. He wasn't convinced that Hol recognized who he was or even that she was somewhere safe, but he couldn't risk her getting freaked out by the procedure being performed on her chest.
There was still visible fear in her eyes, but she never looked away from him. Her struggling thankfully ceased as she began to lean into one of his palms bracing the side of her face.
"You're safe, you know that?" He found himself reminding her. The pads of his thumbs traced over the outer shells of her ears, trying again to ease the visible discomfort he saw etched in her face. "Promise you, babe. You're good, we've got you."
Hol winced before swallowing. His brow furrowed as he watched her lips suddenly part.
“Poe…"
Her voice was painfully raw, and normally the sound of her saying his name would have been reason for relief, but he only worried that she was wasting her energy trying to talk.
“Yeah, hey, Hol.” He greeted in a whisper, dipping just enough to brush his lips to her hairline. "It's me. I'm right here."
He frowned when she tried to say something more, something longer and impossible to parse.
"Shh-hey, no, that's enough. Don't want you to talk anymore." He gently scolded. "We’re going to do like before, okay? You relax while I run my mouth.”
Poe doubted she remembered their conversation down in the cockpit, but she thankfully fell silent. Her eyes remained on him as he kept quietly talking to her, blabbering on about how lucky she was to get out of briefings and inventory duty for the next few weeks, about how she was going to sit back on the medbay's best painkillers and watch the trashiest holovids he could find.
He knew deep down that she probably wasn't following him entirely, but he was trying to reassure himself at this point more than her. He was keenly aware that none of what he was saying was guaranteed, but he had to give himself something to hold on to, because imagining anything else simply was not an option for him. 
She had to pull through this.
She had to be fine.
Minutes passed like that, Hol's unfocused gaze trained on Poe's face as he worked at keeping her distracted. Kalonia was able to successfully insert the temporary catheter into Hol's chest, which would assure the function of her uninjured lung until they could patch up the other.
Poe listened closely as a medtech outlined all of the crucial information, providing him with the rough plan of how her treatment would proceed. Once they finished stabilizing her most grave injuries, she would be taken back for surgery. There would be some additional testing after, which would take a couple of hours...
The explanation suddenly stopped short when an alarm began to sound from one of the machines. The level of the urgency in the room immediately started to bubble over.
"Heart rate is increasing!" Someone announced.
Poe visibly paled as he watched Hol's eyes roll backward. His hands still bracing her head, he desperately looked up at the med staff, searching for some kind of instruction.
"Dameron, out!"
Kalonia swooped in and firmly shouldered him out of the way.
Before he could object, a med droid approached and began to usher him towards the door.
"Doc, what's going on?" He demanded, sidestepping the mechanical arms reaching for his shirt. "What's wrong?"
His question went ignored. Hold was entirely obscured from his view. There were too many people now surrounding the exam bed.
"She's seizing! Start anticonvulsants and prepare for a transfusion!"
"Master Dameron, the team needs to prepare the patient for surgery. You must leave."
The med droid's pincers whirred as it closed in on Poe.
"Don't tell me what I have to do!" He snapped, the outline of his jaw more pronounced as he spoke through clenched teeth.
In a moment of sheer stupidity, he pushed back hard against the unforgivingly solid metal chest. He clearly forgot that these droids were built to easily lift the deadweight of critically ill patients of any species.
The mechanical arms tightly wrapped around him, securing his own arms to his sides. They closed, crushing him flush against the droid's metal body. The gesture was completed so quickly that he could feel the air being forced out of his own chest.
Poe feebly kicked, but it was useless. The droid easily hauled him back out through the double doors and towards the waiting area.
________________________
The word about who crash-landed into the trees traveled like wildfire across base. All of black squadron, Finn, BB-8, several of the x-wing techs and pilots from various outfits formed a large group just outside of the medbay. Each of them had duties elsewhere that they were purposefully ignoring, choosing out of loyalty to be present while one of their own hung in some grave state between life and death. They were the ones who threw back countless drinks in the mess hall together, who organized a massive fantasy Gravball league that nearly sent the entire Resistance into chaos, and who pooled their commissary credits to throw each other birthday parties.
They were all present to witness the painful moment Poe was forcibly escorted out of the sliding double doors leading to triage.
"Shit!-alright, alright! Let go!" His shouts ricocheted down the hallway as he finally managed to yank himself free. The force of the motion caused him to promptly fall to the floor.
The others watched as he quickly scrambled up from the ground, stumbling and hurrying to kick at the back of the retreating med droid.
He missed, which only served to enrage him further. The doors promptly closed behind the droid and Poe spun around— his mouth set in a tight line while he began to inexplicably search his surroundings. His chest rose and fell for several beats. His face twisted into a sneer before he abruptly lashed out at the nearest object, sending a trashcan flying with his boot. The steel barrel was thankfully empty, but the sharp clang sent a shockwave across the medbay.
The few people waiting in the sitting area immediately stood up to vacate the space.
Finn was the first to take a step forward to intervene, but he was halted by a large hand on his arm. He turned his head to see Snap, skin still humid as if he came straight from the refresher.
"Best to stand back and let it pass." The pilot urged with a sad shake of his head. "His scenes are never pretty."
Finn didn't want to agree, but as he stood and watched the scene unfolding before them he couldn't find any reason to argue. Snap and the others would know better. They did know. 
Poe’s hands were pressed to the back of his head, his fingers laced together as he glared at the closed doors. He could have easily pushed his way back through, but he inexplicably remained where he stood. His eyes shot a deadly amount of spite toward whatever was happening on the other side of those doors— information that, for the time being, only he knew. 
His arms fell heavily to his sides. Ignoring the uneasy looks following him, he turned and traipsed over to the first row of waiting chairs, silently throwing himself down onto one of the seats.His legs stretched out while he leaned back, his arms folded over his chest.
He continued to stare at the doors, a hard glint in his eyes for the faceless goliath wrecking untold damage on the other side.
The others slowly filtered over to join him in the waiting area. A supportive hand would occasionally grip his shoulder or linger on his knee, but no one said anything. Those unvoiced questions sat heavy above their heads.
BB-8 remained near Poe’s feet, unusually still and silent.
Hours grudgingly crawled by. The light outside faded away and began to just barely creep back over the horizon when someone finally came out to speak to them.
Poe was the only one to be escorted back behind the double doors. Dr. Kalonia stood there waiting for him, still dressed in some of her surgical garb. Thankfully, her mask was off, because her facial expression alone was able to answer his most crucial question.
She was alive.
Kalonia began to turn before she motioned for him to come along.
"Follow me, Dameron..."
________________________
They walked together down the main hallway of the medical wing, back to where Poe knew the overnight patient beds were located. He remained silent as Kalonia gave the run through of everything— what exactly happened when he was forced out of triage and what they were able to correct during surgery. Internal bleeding was what caused Hol to begin seizing. They performed a blood transfusion that stabilized her enough to undergo surgery, but they hadn’t been confident that she would make it through. The surgery itself took hours, but they were successfully able to localize and stop the bleeding in her abdomen and patch up her punctured lung. They installed a more substantial drainage tube in her chest to allow excess air and fluids to escape so her lung could continue to heal.
She would need to be kept asleep so her body could focus on repairing itself, but Kalonia was going to let Poe see her while they performed some additional tests.
They came to a stop just before the smallest room along the hallway. Due to space constraints on base, most of the rooms along this corridor housed multiple beds. This room was only for patients in a bad enough state to justify being kept isolated from others.
Kalonia stood aside to let him enter first.
They had Hol lying half-covered on an exam bed, her chest was mostly obscured by bandages. The first thing he noticed was that she was clean now, so much so that it made his head spin. 
It shouldn’t have been such a surprise, because of course they were going to scrub away the blood and grime before putting her on fresh bedding. But still, the contrast from when he found her sitting strapped in that downed ship was startling.
Several machines were attached to her body. She was hooked up to a respirator and receiving fluids intravenously, but Poe also caught sight of the aforementioned drainage tube extending from a patch of bandages in her side. It ran all the way over the edge of the bed into a receptacle on the floor. Her injured arm was wrapped in bacta strips and immobilized with a splint.
He remained a few feet away from her bed, a distance that he decided would be safe, because it felt too dangerous to touch her. His eyes slowly took in every piece of equipment being used to keep her stable, at first he began to count but stopped himself when he reached double digits.
His brow furrowed the moment he noticed the padded white cuffs still attaching Hol's wrists to the bed frame.
"Why is she still strapped down?" He demanded, his voice oddly distorted from hours of not speaking.
"It’s just a precaution for now.” Kalonia began to explain, seeming to choose her words cautiously. “She’s still on anticonvulsants to help reduce the likelihood of further seizures, but even while sedated there are still some tremors. With the location of the drainage tube we can’t risk her moving too violently or ripping it out when she wakes.” 
Poe blinked, taking a moment to process the information. 
"How long does she have to keep the tube?”
“No more than 2 to 3 days.” 
He nodded while he chewed on his lower lip, his eyes still trained on Hol. 
“Look, Dameron…” 
She interrupted his thoughts in a gentle tone that was meant to be comforting, but it only made the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight. Dr. Kalonia was known for ruthlessly running the medbay like a battleship. They went back far too long, he knew to brace for the worst whenever she started to go soft.
Poe turned to face her, the pit of dread he felt low in his stomach was only growing. He would have given anything in that moment for them to fall into their traditional roles, for him to be the one injured and for her to be yelling at him. - Dammit, Dameron! Either make yourself useful or get the hell out of my medbay!
But she only continued to speak in that horribly gentle tone.
“As Tarmin’s commanding officer, there is something else that you should know.”
She walked him around to the opposite side of the bed, where there was noticeably less tubing.
“During the examination before her surgery, I noticed some smaller injuries that made me order full lab work.”
He watched as she lifted the bit of blanket covering Hol’s legs. 
“I found infected injection sites on the insides of her arms and thighs, then these small circular burns on her ankles.”
Immediately Poe began to understand the rationale behind her delicate words.
He'd seen those marks on more than a few Resistance members who managed to escape capture. He sported similar ones himself after being captured on Jakku...after the Finalizer.
“We found traces of antipsychotics, nerve agents, and truth serum in her system.” Kalonia continued to explain. 
He bowed his head as he listened, the sour taste of bile was creeping up in the back of his mouth. He pinched the bridge of his nose while the facts began to register in his mind. His teeth clamped down on the inside of his cheek, he forced himself to slowly exhale.
"There are chafe marks on her body from restraints. The partial break to her humerus looks like it's from prolonged strain during intero—"
He couldn’t let her fully pronounce the word. 
"Alright!”
He didn't have it in him to yell anymore, but the tension in his voice filled the space like a streak of lightning.
To her credit, Kalonia never flinched at the sound. She stood patiently, unwavering, her face neutral as she watched him. An uneasy silence settled over the room.   
He took a shaky breath, being mindful to adjust his tone before continuing.
“It’s okay.” He spoke softly, voice trembling despite his efforts. “I-I got it, Doc.” 
He turned to face away as he desperately tried to calm the tightening in his throat. The corners of his eyes were sharply stinging. The best he could do to regain control was to continue biting down hard on the inside of his mouth, inhaling and exhaling through his nose.
After a couple of minutes he scrubbed both hands over his stubbled face. With the heels of his palms he rubbed at his eyes until he saw stars. Slowly, much too slowly for his liking, he was able to push his own agony down enough to recenter.
Poe turned to face Kalonia once more. He cleared his throat. 
“She's not going to be in too much pain when she wakes up?” He demanded. “You can keep her comfortable, right?”
She pointed his attention to the IV stand by the head of the exam bed.
"I can't promise when she wakes up that she won't be in some pain, but we can adjust the medication through her drip and it'll take effect almost immediately."
He nodded. His hand combed through his hair before he slowly approached the bedside once more.
Poe stood and watched Hol's face for several minutes. He searched hard for any signs of movement or distress but found nothing. Her features were mercifully still and serene for the moment. She was protected under the fog of artificial sleep.
“How long are you going to keep her under?”
The question was spoken in a near whisper. 
“Depends on her vitals, but at least a day, maybe two.”
Kalonia took the time to show him her vitals displayed on the monitor near the head of the bed, providing a brief explanation of what the numbers currently meant. For the moment, everything hovered just barely inside the acceptable range. It was far from ideal, but it was at least temporarily stable. They would have to see over the next few days how she progressed.
While standing there together, they witnessed a ripple of stiff movement pass through Hol’s limbs.
“Whoa…” Poe visibly straightened, alarm written on his face as he began to think the worst.
Kalonia’s hand found his arm.
“Those movements aren’t another seizure.” She assured him. “It’s a residual effect from nerve agent exposure. Think of it like the nerves in her body recalibrating.”
Poe nodded in quiet understanding, but all he could think about was the excuse Kalonia gave him earlier for keeping Hol restrained— how she didn’t want her to hurt herself. There was some logic behind it, he could admit that much. But now that he knew some of what happened to her, he could barely stomach the idea.
They allowed him to stay in Hol’s room overnight. Kalonia had a cot brought in for him to sleep on, but only under the condition that he promised two things: to use the refresher across the hall and to actually get some sleep.
When he was finally alone with her he felt oddly numb. There in the nearly dark ward of the medbay, he stood over Hol’s bed and just watched her. It took several minutes for him to work up the courage to approach, but he did it. His hand briefly rested on the metal railing, as if he was grounding himself before he finally reached to touch her.
His fingers snaked between her own as he slotted his hand over her's. Immediately he realized that her skin felt strangely warm, prompting him to reach up and feel the side of her face. A quick look at her vitals confirmed his suspicions, she had a low-grade fever beginning to form. 
Poe made a note to point it out to one of the medtechs when they would come to make their rounds. He touched her hand once more before he stepped back to take a seat on the unfolded cot.
From there he watched her rest. He felt the heavy pull of exhaustion on his body, but sleep was the last thing he wanted for himself. His mind was all over the place, thinking about too many things at once.
Leia would come to visit her soon. He knew that much. Once she was past the worst and strong enough to speak, they would make her issue a report and do a formal debrief in front of Leia and her counsel.
It would be long and grueling. She would have to relive everything in great detail and be thoroughly questioned. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know all of the facts himself, but he definitely knew that he didn’t want to put her through having to recount it too many times. Those meetings were meant to be classified, but it wouldn’t take long before everyone would know.
Poe so desperately wished that he could save her from that part—when everyone on base would begin to look at her differently. He knew that it was inevitable though. While he sat there next to her bed, watching over her while she slept, he could only think about what was to come.
He knew that for however long she stayed asleep in this room, she was at least protected from all that was waiting out there. The thought comforted him some, even if it was only temporary.
He also knew that the two of them needed to talk about a lot of things once she woke up.
Her position in Black Squadron needed to be rethought. It was a massive understatement to say that her flying under him was unethical. Before Hol left for Batuu they tried to be discreet about their relationship. They both told themselves that they were doing a good enough job keeping things secret, a delusion that went well past the point of denial. They thought their regular heated arguments in front of the others and their general refusal to touch each other would provide ample cover, but their sneaking off to fuck in supplies closets hadn't always been the most covert. But now that she was back, Poe was ready to throw discretion out the window. 
There were without a doubt other positions for her as a pilot, other opportunities, but it was going to be difficult convincing her. Making her understand that it wasn’t a punishment would be delicate.
He would talk it over with Leia, with some of the other squadron leaders. He would confess that he was the one in the wrong, and readily accept whatever disciplinary action came his way. They would figure something out for Hol. They had to.
Poe knew he also owed her an apology. He could have handled things differently when she volunteered for the mission, he could have spoken his mind while remaining supportive. His only memories of that conversation were just of him dressing her down, desperately trying to pull rank as a last ditch effort to keep her from leaving by herself.
The truth was that he was so fucking proud of her. During the weeks she was gone he had been livid, walking around with anger bubbling under his skin at all times. But now all he wanted was for her to hear how proud he felt, because he didn't want to leave her with those memories of their final argument.
She kept her head cool and found her way back. She survived whatever hell she fell into and fought her way out. He still couldn’t wrap his head around how she managed to pull off the execution of that landing. She had one broken arm, was trying to evade being hit with no comms system, all while coming in on fumes.
A medtech came by a couple of hours later, which woke Poe out of a light sleep.
He sat up and watched from his cot as they administered medication, checked the tubes and wires around her body to make sure nothing was out of place. 
He mentioned the fever, which thankfully hadn't climbed any higher. They started her on another course of antibiotics.
“She looks peaceful, doesn’t she?” They asked him at one point.
The very moment he heard the word a bitter taste spread across his entire tongue, making his mouth twist downward in a frown. He knew they meant well enough, but his head still snapped around to look at them in disbelief.
Because "peaceful" had never been Hol. 
Conniving.
Stubborn.
Impulsive.
A pain in his ass.
There were easily ten dozen choice adjectives he and quite a few others on this base could use to describe Hol Tarmin, but peaceful was definitely not one.
Peaceful was a word that people used to describe the dead. 
And his girl wasn’t fucking dead. 
The very idea was something he couldn’t dwell on for too long, because of the way his foundation had very nearly crumbled during those weeks she was gone. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt panic the way he had at the crash site, thinking at any moment he would be forced to helplessly watch while she slipped away from him, like watching water slowly leak out of his cupped hands.
It felt selfish to have those thoughts while she was lying there in front of him, but he was keenly aware of how impossibly lucky they were to get her back — how impossibly lucky he was.
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