#THIS TRULY MEANS A LOT TO ME AND I FRICKING LOVE YOU AND EVERYONE

[pinkalmondcake]

Hi, almond!!

Now, sadly I don't have any funny AI stories for you, BUT

I just wanted to say that I appreciate you so much!! Your LU bots are incredible, and the way you put so much effort into your content and especially answering all of your asks!! You're incredibly fun to talk to (although we've barely, hehe), and you're one of my favorite people on here. I was always afraid to send asks as it seemed a little intimadating, but you make it so fun!

You'll be the first person to know if something funny happens with your bots!!

Anyway, that's all I wanted to say!

LOVE YOU <3

~ Fi 🐝

Hi Fi!! 🐝

And please!! I don't mind if it's not about the LU boys, my AI or my oneshots!! 😫💖✨ my box is open for anything you all wish to talk to me about! 🥰

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'M IN TEARS AND I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR THIS AND I'M SORRY MY ASKS ARE TAKING SO LONG TO REPLY TO LATELY😓😓💕💞

And I really don't know what to say because my heart is about to explode and you're so, so sweet and AHHHH I JUST LOVE YOU PLEASE. AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LOVING MY CONTENT!! I try my best to make sure it's all for you as I know how much you all like my bots and I try to improve on them every time!!

And please, there's no need to thank me! I should be thanking you all for enjoying my content so much because without you guys, I wouldn't have come this far with it and I would've dropped it but it's only been not even two months now and you're all loving my content already!!

And I hate the idea of leaving out any asks because I want you all to be equally loved as you're like my family here!!! The sweetling family and I feel honoured to have so many asks too!! 😫🥹💕

This really does mean a lot to me and thank you for appreciating everything I do, I appreciate every single one of you so much as well!!

AND YOU'RE FUN TO TALK TO DESPITE THE FACT IT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW TIMES!! ALL OF YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING AND YOUR ASKS ALWAYS MAKE MY DAY AND CALMS MY ANXIETY TOO!!

I try my best to make this fun for everyone because we all go through enough stuff in reality so why bring all of it here when we can have fun and express the way we truly feel and finally go into a fantasy world without the stress of reality even if it's only for a few minutes!! 🥰💖✨

I LOVE YOU AND I'M REALLY HAPPY TO HEAR THAT I'M ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE PEOPLE, I FEEL REALLY HONOURED AND I CAN'T TAKE ALL THIS KINDNESS, MY HEART IS TOO WARM NOW!! WOSJWJW 😭😭💝

And please! Don't ever feel intimated to ask me anything or to report back to me!! My ears are yours and they'll always be!!! Even if you wish to rant about anything, I'll listen (well read) and respond!! Even if it's advice! My blog is open to everyone🥰🥰💗

AND YES YES, I'LL LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOTS AND HOW THEY TAKE TO YOU AND YOUR STORIES!!

Thank you so much and I LOVE YOU TOO!! SM!! 😫😫💞💫💫

#THIS LITERALLY BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES #NO JOKE IT REALLY DID #THIS TRULY MEANS A LOT TO ME AND I FRICKING LOVE YOU AND EVERYONE #almondanswers #THANK YOU AOWNSIWJSNW

[gildeddlily]

yk what I really hate? people defining soukoku's relationship as toxic and headcanon chuuya as a violent person who physically assaults and abuses Dazai cause he "makes him mad", or Dazai as the one who constantly manipulates him into doing what he needs.

like who ever told you this? first of all, no. second of all, no. They have the strangest relationship I've ever seen, but it's something beautiful built with trust from both parts so how can you call that toxic to this point?

we've never saw Chuuya physically hurting Dazai in both manga and light novels, at least not seriously (the basement scene doesn't mean anything, they didn't see each other for like four years and chuuya's a fricking mafia executive no shit he's gonna beat up the mafia traitor. but seriously, after seeing him fight for real you think that was violence?). Do I think that at least once Dazai got beat up? yes, cause Dazai is constantly getting on Chuuya's nerves. the nerves of a dysfunctional teenager, that works for the mafia, that has a partner who tries to kill himself every two days, that is emotionally constipated and never learned how to love and be loved (the sheep betrayed him, the Flags died, Dazai is Dazai) so yeah, I don't think he knows how to express his feelings (he was all "I'm gonna act like I don't love you but in reality I love you a lot" with the flags at sixteen, what do you pretend from him if he's interacting with Dazai?) but not to the point of beating up Dazai every time they fight.

Dazai is ever worse: he's traumatized as fuck too, and is always going with the "I'm not human" bullshit (shut up sometimes he's so human he makes me cry) that most times prevents him from enjoying practically anything. Chuuya is not someone he know how to act with, but he spends three years with him so he fricking learned how, alr? They know eachother better than everyone, to the point that Chuu is able to understand Dazai's "misterious as fuck no one can understand me why people call akutagawa emo when im here" plans and attitude. They trust each other to the point of constantly putting each other lives in the other's hands.

Dazai manipulates everyone, yeah, but not like Fyodor does. Stop treating his efforts to respect Oda's last wish like nothing and only seeing him as the man he was in the mafia. Bungou Stray Dogs is so beautiful because it's realistic in portraying human's life and emotions, so stop trying to make Dazai act and seen as the mean demon who hates everyone except odasaku. his "chess pieces" are used and directed in a gentle way, just see Atsushi and the relationship he has with him, or the ADA. (the drowning thing. there was world's peace at steak, you think he should have chose saving Chuuya instead of everyone else? And that he really didn't think ab Chuuya saving Fyodor with his ability? I'm sure he knew, purely for the "what a shallow bond" thing. Asagiri spent the last years making us understand the deep bond they share, only to make it really shallow after one hundred chapters?)

Chuuya knows Dazai, he knows the way he choose to act, how his mind works and how he plans the future, Asagiri said that himself, so it actually is canon. He truly knows him (best and worst part of him, and we're talking ab mafia!dazai) and still trusts him with his life, knows Dazai always hides something up his sleeve and's always "i trusted you with this *random insults*" after almost dying for Dazai.

They just voluntarily ignore their connection, but they're both aware of it, just see how Chuuya in Dead Apple is sure that Dazai has something in mind that involves him using Corruption (risking his life) and punching him in the face, or how Dazai is sure that Chuuya will use Corruption risking his life and punch him. (the soft way he punched him while using Corruption really is... strange. he was throwing buildings around and then punch Dazai like he wasn't even using his ability? there wasn't any real strength behind it, at least not the corrupted one. so yeah we also have corrupted!Chuuya loving Dazai like the normal one) (I'm chewing a gum (my throat is hurting sthu) and I feel like the woman from that asmr meme that types on a pc) so yeah the point is. people can write or create media ab everything they want, but going around talking ab how they'd be a toxic couple cause they're abusive and bad for eachother is bullshit, especially if they're talking ab 22!Soukoku that has the potential to be endgame. teen!Soukoku could be toxic, yes, cause it's always disfuncional teenagers we're talking ab, they wouldn't even know ab how to be a good couple, but they'd manage, and still do more good for each other than bad. (this is all to say that I cry when while searching for good skk ff I find that type of ff that antagonize one of them by portraying them as abusive (like taking out of the context Chuuya calling sixteen Dazai inhuman after he said that the death of a man that Chuuya respected was a luck for them- no shit he was angry(still could have not said that)) and the other as an innocent kid that doesn't know better)

we stan the "the other was the only really good thing in their life for a long time" trope

#random skk thoughts #bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #bsd analysis #kinda #dead apple #was a rollercoaster #gay thoughts #port mafia

[mindibindi]

hey! sorry for bothering you, but i as a fellow x-phile i would like to ask how credible it is that gillian anderson and david duchovny hated each other back in the day? there are probably quotes or something but i can't really judge anything this late after the fact. i did watch the show when it aired but i was too young to get into internet culture. anyway, i'm hoping for some wisdom from fans who remember this. :) thank you!

Hey Anon,

It’s no bother and thanks for the ask. And actually, after the fact is a good position from which to view this matter since, as we all now know, Gillovny’s story has a happy ending. I was around for the original run too but internet culture was very different then. Not everyone was constantly online, I certainly wasn’t. The internet was expensive and hard to access so I got a couple of hours per week tops, which I mostly used to read fanfic. (Fanfic for this show/ship was basically my fanfic writer origin story: I was like WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO THIS TOO???!!! And btw: readers complain these days about the pressure to respond to fanfic. Back in the day, you had to compose a whole fricking email if you wanted to badger your fave author for more. And there was certainly no easy kudos button option to make you feel like you’d done your bit to encourage community. Anyway.)

There were fan sites, message boards and lots of different fanfic archives. And sure, there was some gossip but it still mostly came via old print media. Pre-social-media, there wasn’t a direct line to celebrities or any great expectation placed on them interact with fans in regular, intimate ways. The advent of social media has created these parasocial relationships in which (some) fans think they know or have a right to far more than they do. Back in the day, and istg this is true, I posted a picture of DD with Blue in the surf on some now defunct message board. The moderators removed it and v kindly said: nope, against our guidelines, no images of private moments taken without the person’s consent. I mean…. talk about boundaries! My baby fangirl ass was properly chastised and learnt a valuable lesson. I think we can learn a thing or two from early internet culture and original fans, some of which are still knocking about this site.

Anyway, all of this is to say, I don’t have any special insight here. The only people who know in any great detail what truly went on in DD and GA’s relationship is them, and maybe a few people in their immediate vicinity. But XF fans are lucky enough to stan two very honest, emotionally thoughtful people who have shared with us some of the challenges they faced during the show’s original run. And, for better or worse, when people tell you who they are, I tend to believe them. Yes, there are other fans that can probably provide you with quotes and timelines and (wild) speculation, but I think I know enough to give a fairly objective opinion on what I think actually occurred. For me, the most pertinent quote here is Gillian’s characterisation of their relationship as being like “a forced marriage”. I take this to mean that, like any marriage, there was great intimacy, respect, cooperation and commitment. Maybe even love. But there was also a lack of choice that caused tension, despite multiple positive relational elements.

“Tension” is a word that has also been applied to their late-90s relationship and I think it’s probably more accurate. I don’t think they HATE hated each other. But I think they probably had fleeting moments of feeling: OMG this person is getting on my last sane nerve, I cannot stand to be around them another fricking second. I think the protracted and concentrated intimacy of their circumstances gave rise to SOME super understandable negative feelings that ultimately, did not define the true nature of their relationship, either then or now. I don’t think those feelings were all there was, even back then. I don’t think these two were epic lovers any more than they were bitter enemies. I think they were just two human beings attempting to function under super intense scrutiny and an extremely gruelling work schedule. And that at times resulted in tension or irritation which they found ways around. Talking to each other only as Mulder and Scully may sound terrible to some but I think it’s a rather ingenious way to conserve their energy for their jobs. It shows an incredible commitment to their characters, to the show and to the contribution the other was bringing to that celebrated dynamic. They knew it was important so that's where they focused.

We have all had times in relationships where we’ve needed some space, even from someone we like, love, respect and value. If anyone was struggling to understand this dynamic between DD and GA then recent experiences of lockdown should have provided some insight into this kind of intense forced intimacy. Now, I have never been married but I’ve lived with people and that experience will make you loathe how a person walks, breathes, sleeps, eats, does the smallest, most insignificant things. It’s not the permanent state of your relationship. It’s just a passing reaction. It does not matter how much you might like or appreciate this person. In one bright flash, they become the most infuriating person to ever walk the planet. Then you go into another room or go to work and the feeling fades. But what happens when you can’t get away, you actually can’t get the sort of space a healthy relationship needs? We all saw how lockdown increased the pressure on all relationships, especially partnerships and marriages. There was pressure within and without and people reacted naturally to profoundly unnatural circumstances. That’s all that happened here.

Now, it must be pointed out that even during periods of the original run when their relationship was supposedly suffering, there is footage of them having fun on-set and ruining takes by making out. This supports the idea that any “hate” was an understandable but impermanent reaction for both. Actually, I think it is highly admirable that they were able to collaborate together and remain individually sane while experiencing such relational tension. It shows incredible personal fortitude and professional commitment. They stayed focused and pragmatic and, to me, there is never any indication that their personal struggles impacted the final product. In fact, I believe they actually enhanced Mulder and Scully’s relationship in those middle years of the original run when they too were experiencing some growing pains in their relationship. I’m thinking of the raw emotion in that end scene of “Elegy” and the palpable impatience and antagonism in “Gethsemane”. I’m thinking of the division and sadness in the hospital scene in “The Red and the Black” and throughout “The End”. Like Mulder and Scully, David and Gillian have some fundamental similarities and some very distinct differences. For the first few years of the series they were living very different lives. It took them time to attune to each other, just as it took Mulder and Scully time to fully absorb the many intricate dimensions of their relationship. As DD and GA grew older, their lives became more similar and their understanding of each other likewise grew. And honestly, I think it’s somewhat hypocritical and inhuman to appreciate the many complex beats of the M/S relationship as it plays out on-screen, but then judge their real-life counterparts as they tread an equally complex path towards true understanding, appreciation and love.

I haven’t watched TXF in years and in my recent rewatch, I was surprised actually at just how combative this relationship could be. I had only remembered all the sweet, shippy bits! But (and I should not really have to point this out) that's also what is so compelling to watch. The conflict. The contrast. The difference (not just in height, although their physical difference does act as a powerful symbol of their mismatched but ultimately complementary dynamic). The difference and yes, even at times tension, between David and Gillian only adds to a dynamic that so many have tried and failed to emulate (RIP to any reboot of this show. This show IS DD and GA’s chemistry. End of.). I can’t be mad or disappointed about Gillovny’s 90s tension, so carefully navigated by both actors, because fuck me does it work for the MSR angst! D’you think we’d have so many delicious angsty fanfics if these two had been sunshine-y, tension-less best buds every step of the way?? Not only is some tension an understandable human reaction that I believe they have every right to, it adds dimension to an epically URSTy relationship that could have gotten boring (and kinda did towards the end, let's be real). There is an added, honest, brave truth to the moments of impatience, frustration, disagreement and division in the M/S relationship because DD and GA experienced these things themselves in the context of their equally intense working relationship. I think the actors continued to mine their own tension and express it through Mulder and Scully, which again is a super creative and healthy way to protect their working relationship and serve the M/S relationship. A relationship in which they were invested, but also a relationship that was central to the show and important to so many fans.

In time, the more intense M/S moments lost their bite. The relationship became softer, less combative, more appreciative. The LA move decreased the actor’s isolation and gave the show a new tone. Gillian is on record saying how strange it was for her when David disappeared in later seasons. And we all know the story of the 10 min post-"Existence" embrace (if you don’t let me know). So this story has a neat and satisfying ending even if Mulder and Scully never really got theirs. As evidenced by the second movie and reboot, nothing was destroyed. The chemistry remains (even if it’s not served by quality plot, development, context and characterisation). These human beings and artists did their best under difficult circumstances. They protected the work, the characters and their relationship. In fact, I would venture to suggest that the wild appreciation they show for each other now, the enduring chemistry we see on-screen and the palpable enjoyment they feel at the other’s presence any time they get the opportunity to reunite is in part due to how they navigated their early years as mismatched colleagues thrown together and expected to work closely under immense pressure. Thanks to David and Gillian, hate never took root. And now, in DD’s words, all that’s left is the heart.

#txf #the x files #msr #mulder x scully #fox mulder #dana scully #gillian anderson #david duchovny #gillovny #90s tension #ask #ask a question of me and you will get an essay #any aunty fangirls with further info or thoughts are free to chime in #but hate will be blocked

[yanderemommabean]

Hey just wanted to let you know that your smut is really good. No writing is perfect and there are always people who can find things to point out but you are a genuinely good writer who brings joy (and horniness) to a lot of people and you seem like you could use a reminder that you are doing really great.

I am honestly really critical of others work for the most part, and I would not send this message if I did not truly believe what I am saying to be true. Your writing always feels so genuine and has the unique vibe of being written by someone who is also really excited/passionate about the piece and ideas being shared, and also has many really neat characters I haven’t seen elsewhere (Alduin for one I think you are the only person doing decent writing for him so thank you so much) lots of original ideas, not to mention your OCs which I’ll be honest I’m not usually super into OCs but your are genuinely really fricking cool and interesting.

There are always ways to improve but that doesn’t mean you need to quit if it’s something you enjoy. Everyone has different things they are into and it is impossible to be everyone’s cup of tea, but I can promise you that your stuff makes a lot of people very happy.

I always look forward to seeing you update and sometimes even end up happy stimming when I read your writing (not always when reading your smut because my hands usually end up busy with *ahem* other things lol but you get the point)

Though of course if you want to quit/feel more comfortable that way it’s also obviously okay and you won’t be letting us down. We love your smut but you and your comfort and peace of mind are more important. I hope this message reaches you well and doesn’t overstep or anything lol, I am not amazing with words.

I appreciate you saying this bean. I wasn't going to stop writing entirely, I just felt my smut wasn't worth reading if people had so many issues with it and would nitpick it to hell and back, or if they genuinely felt left out and disturbed. The messages really got to me and I felt maybe I should get some advice to better myself for you beans and more!

I can't please everyone, and from the anons and other beans in my inbox, they seem to like my works, so maybe I was just getting some hate instead of actual criticism? IDK but I'm still here! I just wanted to see what else I could do to make my works better for everyone! IM NOT LEAVING, Im still here, I just needed to see what I could do to make my writing more inclusive and a lot of beans have sent helpful messages!

It means a lot to me, thank you so much <3

-Mommabean

#it means a lot to hear this #thank you bean #mommabean #bean asks #bean confessions

[water-god19]

So this is it…we’ve finished x-force. All issues done. All story lines done and all interest done. So why do I still feel like nothing happen? Was time wasted? Was it really all for nothing…

Fair warning I do ramble on for quite a long time, but it’s for good reason! Anyways…let’s begin.

Chapter 1: A Promising Start/ First Impressions

When I first stumbled into the new era of the X-men I was originally very skeptical. For someone who doesn’t have any comic book knowledge outside of a few DC and Spider man comics from the early 2000s I was expected to be lost. But then after reading a little of the new era, made by Johnathan Hickman, I was truly intrigued in what I was seeing. Sure I had questions…many of which I wouldn’t get the answers to unless I read spin off comics of the new era. Despite that I was beyond HOOKED!

When I first saw this I immediately thought back to deadpool 2 and what they did with X-Force. Now not everything as memorable in that incarnation of the team you still had colossus, deadpool, and domino. 2 of which was seen here and the last one would come a little later. Outside of that I knew a lot of these characters already:

Beast

Wolverine

Colossus

Jean Grey

Deadpool

Domino

I’ve seen all this characters at some point in my life to give the X-force branding of comics a try, and thankfully I did. Sure, I didn’t understand a lot of the context behind why certain characters acted a certain ways but I could appreciate how rare those moments were. Most of the time if I just kept reading the issues I’d understand what was going on, especially in relation to the newer characters.

Kid Omega

Omega Red

Sage

X-23

Black Tom (I think that’s his name).

The dialogue between both the old and newer characters, to me, really sold me on this new era. It got me invested with what could happen to these characters. On the side note, I don’t really see many people talking about this, but the art style of these characters are VERY COOL!!! It looked fun and expressive! I’ll show examples of why I love the art so much throughout this. It really says a lot about what your gonna read, for better or for worse.

If it wasn’t obvious at this point, I clearly haven’t read comics or even x-men comics for years. So when you hear my opinions just remember that my knowledge on certain things are fairly limited in most aspects. I. Don’t. Know. Everything. Yet I’m still enjoying what I’m reading so far, with or without connections to the past. To me that only enriched everything, not the pinnacle of my interest in this initially. Anyway…let’s continue

Chapter 2: Enjoying the concept material

In my opinion, the first couple of arcs with x-force seemed like they had promise. They had a lot of interesting stuff going on. Take this for example.

Colossus, a mutant that everyone has heard of and it known for his heroism snaps the neck of this random mutant…THAT RAISES HUGE FRICKING QUESTIONS OF YOU ASK ME! Like why is he killing people? What’s the importance of this character to him? Based on how this is drawn it looks as if he struggled to kill her even though his face doesn’t portray that, the veins on his muscles do. Speaking of the art colossus looks more cold and distant being in his metal form…and every time I saw him before he never gave me that impression. It was always more light hearted rage fulled or disappointed dad (thanks Deadpool 2), but never cold murder. a more underrated question, HOW OLD IS COLOSSUS?! I mean he has a fricken beard now…didn’t know he could grow one.

Or…what about this!

Why does Jean look so…classic and basic in her design? Compared to Wolverine and Hank she doesn’t look like she belongs there. Even though she’s going through Omega Red’s mind she seems to be the odd one out. Speak of designs why does Hank got mad scientist energy now? Wolverine…more understandable since I’m pretty sure this guys a villain. Although this looks more painful than any super hero interrogation I’ve ever seen before. This doesn’t even look like interrogation, this looks like torture.

What really caught my eye in all this was the moral ambiguity at play here. Reading early x-force a lot of that was present, and as some one who loves seeing situations within the grey area this satisfied me greatly. Look at this conversation between beast and Jean.

Now I’ll address this later, but look at the points they make. Normally the X-Men are depicted as people who want coexistence between humans and mutants, yet here Jean weights the two evils and says lying is for humans not mutants. She views that as the bones honest path for x-force than what beast did.

Although beast, surpassingly, does have a point. A lie would only suffocate the process needed to save their nation. They already have enemies who would want nothing more than to harm them, so what’s the point in letting them strategize when he can just kill then now? Why should let billions die in the future when we can kill one person now and save billions?

Do the end’s justify the means…that’s for you to decide.

As for me though I’m picking up so many mixed signals here from beast on this one. Look his eyes, their blackened, this is mostly for evil, corrupted, shady, malevolent intent. Yet there’s a sense of honesty when beast confesses his mindset here. It’s almost as if he himself doesn’t enjoy the ruthless calculus of war at affect here. He hates himself for it. He wishes he could be on Jean side and yet after experiencing so much pain and damage he doesn’t see the point in being hesitant with those who want to hurt you. For him the line was drawn when they even had a thought of hurting Krakoa. Even Jean, who has her back turned towards him, seems to be getting what he’s saying. In some way she gets it. But she doesn’t want to get it, she doesn’t want to understand his reasoning but she does.

First time I read this I was stunned! Like all this was just one panel?! Wow! I really hope this continues onward. I would love to see every character get this much depth in them!

I could go on here for ages about this stuff, but if you really read x-force this is kinda what it’s about. At least until we get towards the end…which is where I started to realize the issues in all this beauty.

Chapter 3: Problems in paradise

Remember when I talk about how much I adored the concepts of what I was seeing? How much I loved what the art brought to the table so subtlety? Well…look at this.

Do you see anything wrong with it? Probably not. And honestly I didn’t either when first viewing this.

Just colossus suspiciously murdering someone. Initially I didn’t think much of this because I thought, “hasn’t he killed before? Why put such emphasis on this one?” But look back x-men history the writers and artist always illustrate the emotional distress of colossus murdering any one. He has never taken any pleasure in doing it, and he hardly does it. So when he does do it you gotta ask, “what did that person do to deserve that response from him?”

Anyway we’re getting side tracked here. Next photo.

Do you see a problem here? Again probably nothing. Art looks great, nothing outstanding but nothing terrible either.

On to the last photo.

Did you spot the issue? No? Well, just look at the number on the top left and right side of the photos. Do you see it now? I’ll explain. The first time we see colossus arc really begin is in the 24 issue of the comic. The next time we see it is in issue number 39. The very end of the arc is issue number 46. You could argue that his arc spanned several issues in between them…I wished it played out like that. The reason why I chose these 3 photos is due to them being the only time we see the colossus arc take center stage. Now you probably asking, ‘okay so if his arc wasn’t taking center stage then what was?’

This is what was taking place:

Change in X-Force leadership

The quiet council putting colossus as a member.

Beast going rogue and wolverine in pursuit of him

Kid omega disappearing in a fight after a corrupted Cerebro goes on the loose.

Kid Omega coming back, not really a kid anymore, but he has x-force follow to the future to deal with beast.

Beast and wolverine have a massive fight.

The build up to the Fall of Next before it was officially dubbed so. And so much more.

All of this was happening alongside the colossus subplot, it’s a boring waiting game. For someone reading this for the first time it felt like watching an amazing episode air for the first time only to wait a week or two later for the next episode. (Disney plus)…

But it wasn’t a week or two long it was YEARS! Years for a plot that could have being unraveled by some common sense by professor x only for it to never happen, despite them being in the same room with each other so many times! You literally see him on the quiet council every single day and get you don’t ask how he’s doing? Especially after seeing his behavior towards his own teammates?!

To his lover at one point?!

Thematically this works…but for the viewer this feels scattered and rushed. Hell the photo on top isn’t even from X-Force it’s from Immortal X-Men! Why is his arc being stretched like this, only to have no impact on x-force directly? I get it, if we spread out colossus influence it will show the readers how big of a problem this really is. The ripple effects of you will. But when the ripple effects don’t lead anywhere for a long time, constantly put to the sidelines by other major events, and then given a mediocre finale it doesn’t increase the impact it lessens it.

Not to mention the conclusion of this arc is simply colossus killing his brother which is earned don’t get me wrong, I loved that. His brother deserved death. But the very second we see colossus again it’s with x-force as if nothing happened. I don’t even remember if we had a conversation or a look into colossus psyche after everything happened. It’s just straight to the Fall of X which is already happening by issue number 43.

This doesn’t even stop at colossus though, domino has that same issue. Being skinned alive, tortured by an forgettable villain, and having it all be undone by a res set button called resurrection just feels wrong. Makes it seem pointless…

The true tragedy by far isn’t even those characters…it’s by the series main stars of the show.

Chapter 4: Beast Agenda Finale/Shattering my expectations

So Wolverine vs Beast. Again, another great concept from X-forces writers and editors. And another disappointment. Why? Because every time we get close to the conclusion to their huge fight beast manages to slip away. This one…this one got me the most upset. I remember waiting around for ages to see the conclusion of this arc, this cover art didn’t help.

Yet, despite the lies this cover baited you with we don’t even get close to the finale of the beast saga. He runs away, and the only thing that does die in this issue is just beast many clones. Boring, and useless.

But you want to know what really left a nasty scar on me during this arc. The characterization.

Was gonna show an example but I reached the picture limit…didn’t even know there was one.

Anyway, what I mean is characters don’t talk naturally. It’s always it either drive forward the conflict or to build up the conflict. There’s rarely any moments we’re characters just talk about what’s going on in their lives. It’s just moment to moment action. Feels lifeless.

Going back to beast, after reading what people think of this version of beast…I see where your coming from I truly do, but I love this version of beast. He’s actually the incarnation that got me interested in every other version of the character because his actions had context and if you had the context it would enrich the actions of this character. It wasn’t required but you were rewarded for doing so. Despite his very obvious flaws he has a point in a some of what he does. Or at least there’s an external reason that tragic on why he feels the need to do this. As explained with the Jean and Hank conversation I’d like to think the reason why Hank is fighting so hard for this country is because everyone saw what happened to Genosha! No one wants their homes to be destroyed by those who hate them the most. Not even that but it shows how broken Hank truly is from everything…that’s depressing yet intriguing to read.

And I wished this version of the character was treated with the same respect as the other incarnations and not given a shitty finale. A finale that completely reboots his character and pretty much states to the readers that we as the writers are done with this character and all that hyped up facade was worth nothing…no redemption and no future. It just hurts…and as I go back into the past to see better conclusions for this character I fear this version of the character could fall future and future down the rabbit hole.

This is why I hate reboots.

Last thing I want to say on this character is the art. What. The F@$&. Happened.

Beast (Prime), as he is referred to now, looks the exact same as the one in the past. For anyone thematic reason this could have, all I get from this is laziness. From an artist and thematic lens’s they should be different. If they had made them both different it would hit home how time has really change these characters. But since they look the same I guess that nuance also doesn’t mean anything. The art used to be diverse and fun while also being serious and dark. Now it’s just flare and boring not to mention lifeless. It’s just another pointless experiment for a pointless finale.

Anyway, thanks for reading this very long post, took me about 4 hours to finish this. Had a lot to say obviously 😂. Hope this gets you to understand how I feel about this whole thing, anyways thanks for reading and take care! Oh and if you want a better deep dive into the personality of both beast go to @positivelybeastly he does a wonderful job on that front.

#hank mccoy #x-men #x force #x men comics #art #potential #Colossus #krakoa era #johnathan hickman

[kryptonexorcius]

🌷 doing the @baeby-tc TC July stuff in December 'cause yes (now I have time to do everything I want)

1. describe your tc's physical appearance.

🪞: G's a kind of short man, maybe 160cm or 165cm, he's about my Height. I don't know how to explain his physical type, I think he has the typical "dad's body". His hair, omg his hair is perfect, it's short and Straight and has this color mix that reminds me of salt and pepper. Also, he has the most beautiful eyes in the world. They're green, in the sun they get a golden yellowish and in the dark they get a more greenish blue tone.

2. what was the first thing you've ever said to your tc?

🪞: I giggled 'cause the first thing he said to me was that I was such a quiet girl. The second thing was "I also like the Beatles" (he asked me if I liked them, actually I hate them)

3. is your to single or taken? or are you unsure? and are you single or taken?

🪞: G is taken (married) but I'm not sure if he's happy in this relationship at all... When I met him I was kind of dating a boy, but I ended our relationship 'cause I saw that I didn't truly like the boy and didn't want to hurt his feelings (now he's an asshole to me lol), so I'm actually single, UGHHH.

4. is your to more of the athletic type, the nerdy type or the artsy type?

🪞: At first I thought he was just a nerdy and artistic (musician type) man, but I saw him playing volleyball and I can tell y'all, the way he punched that fricking ball, I wish that shit was me

5. if you and your to were in high school together, do you think you'd be friends?

🪞: He was soooo extrovert and I'm pretty introvert, even if I like to talk A LOT with my friends and love company and everything about socialize, it's very hard for me 'cause of some of my life events so I think he would bully me (he actually told us the kind of guy he was when he was younger so I'm pretty sure he would be my bully).

6. name one song that reminds you of your tc and explain why that song reminds you of them.

Dois Rios - Skank (He told us to listen to this song to do a philosophy work and to chat about what that means in some kind of Socrates stuff)

You give love a bad name - Bon Jovi (idk, I just read a book about an age gap relationship and the guy was literally my TC and he enjoyed that song so, yeah)

There's a light that never goes out - The Smiths (He liked the smiths and he also likes that movie w the couple that are not a couple, I hate that movie)

Paparazzi - Lady Gaga (I REFUSE TO EXPLAIN)

7. is your to fashionable or are they more of the simple type? what is one outfit you'd love to see them wear?

🪞: HES SO MINIMALISTIC UGH I HATE THAT. EVERY TIME HES W SOME SOCCER TRAM SHIRT OR SOME SHIT LIKE IT. But I wish he wore these clothes everyday:

8. would you be willing to become a teacher and teach your tc's subject if it meant you two could be together?

🪞: For sure! I mean, I have a lot of options to teach because he teaches me a lot of subjects but I would love to help him give a science politics class 🥹

9. does your to drink or smoke?

🪞: Neither

10. name one item that is always on your tc's desk.

🪞: His red pencil case and those fineliner bic pen

11. has your tc ever done anything that has either thrown you off, annoyed you, angered you or bothered you in any way? if so, what did they do?

🪞: Yes, everytime. When he ignores my opinions about some kind of project or when he was just so insensitive when I literally told him the most significant thing in my life and that made me cry a lot and I told him I never talked about it with anyone, even w my family and he just stood there like I was only talking bullshit but when one of my friends cried cause she lost a SOCCER GAME he fucking HUGGED HER 👹👹

12. does your to have any past jobs that you know of, before becoming a teacher?

🪞: He was a tour guide, a music journalist and did something like analyzing music shows.

13. does your tc have kids or siblings? if so, how many?

🪞: He has a son (he told everyone that it was an unwanted kid and he never wanted to be a dad but when his kid or his wife is near he acts like he's soooo proud, idk what to think about it) and he has an older brother.

14. are you taking your tc's class next year?

🪞: Yes, I have no option ahaha

15. has your tc ever met your parents? if you were there, what was the meeting like?

🪞: Yup, we have parents and teachers council. Also, my father was a teacher where I study and my TC was one of his friends, he actually liked to chat w my father a lot, maybe my own father was his father figure lol (even if my father is like, one year older than him). When he met my mother he came to tell me this like a dog when it sees their owner.

16. has your to ever given you detention? if so, what was it like?

🪞: Nope, thanks god

17. has your tc ever failed you? if so, how did you react? if not, how would you react?

🪞: I don't think so. But I would be so sad and mad at the same time. Silent treatment probably would be what I would do 'cause that's what hurts me, but I wouldn't talk w him, even if it was for school purposes.

18. what are your tc's hobbies/interests? are they similar to yours?

🪞: He enjoy to listen to music (don't play anything, but I do play piano, bass, guitar and I sing), he liked to read (me too ahaha), go out to bars (even if he don't drink, but he only that the ones that have shows)

19. have you ever spoken on the phone with your tc? what did you talk about?

🪞: I never made a call w him. We just text each other sometimes. The first time he texted me was to thank me for going to his class.

20. if you had your tc's class during quarantine, what were your zoom calls like? if not, have you spoken to your tc since quarantine?

🪞: I met him in 2021 🥹

21. if you had the chance to go anywhere in the world with your tc, where would you go? what would you do?

🪞: I would go to Germany, it's my dream since I was a little kid and we would visit every museum we could.

22. does your to have any nicknames for you?

🪞: I don't think so, he never called me anything

23. have you ever cried in front of your tc? why? how did they react?

🪞: Yes; personal problems, classmates problems; HE DID NOTHING BOTH TIMES

24. have you ever walked/drove to/from school with your tc?

🪞: Nope

25. do you know which teachers your tc is friends with at school? if so, do you like those teachers?

🪞: Yes, one of them I don't like and the others I really do like

26. why does your tc's voice sound like?

🪞: It's nothing like a mature man, more like a mature teenager who had a lot of problems to deal in his life.

27. do you like your tc as a teacher? are they a good teacher?

🪞: Yesss, a lot. He's so smart and his classes are very good

28. does your tc prefer books, shows or movies?

🪞: Hard to tell, but I think movies

29. is your tc stern or easy going, in class?

🪞: pretty easy going w who make some effort to make the work he gives good, very strict if they are students who don't want to do anything

30. how would you describe you and your tc's relationship?

🪞: confusing, very confusing. Sometimes he acts like he does care about me but sometimes he just ignores me and I feel like a trash lol

31. do you address your tc by their first or last name?

🪞: by his first name. Where I live it's kind of weird to call them by their last name, it's something very particular. But when I talk to him I call him only teacher and mister, I feel it's too intimate to call him by his name ahaha, he never gave me that freedom.

#journal #digital diary #online diary #tumblr diary #tc community #teacher crush #teacher crush community #student x teacher #tc confessions #diary entry #teacher x student #male teacher #male teacher x female student

[multismileee]

Ranking OF Characters + their relationship because I need to rant before I combust :)

Wow what an episode this past one was… down below I’m going to break down my personal feelings and thoughts for each character so enjoy I guess & feel free to lmk if you agree or disagree.

Mew: I have mixed feelings about him, there’s no better way to explain it. He’s entering his villain era which ngl I love for him, they need to stop messing with the nice ones and expect them to stay quiet and sane. However, I have a bad feeling about him going to deep in his revenge against Top and Ton, and losing himself. He’s actually such a mastermind, the way he gets revenge is so satisfying. I truly don’t think he loves Ray like that and instead he thinks well maybe he’s who I need to, because at least I know he’s in love with me. Which explains why he said “perhaps the one I should love is you.” I don’t blame Mew, I think he’s genuinely confused rn, especially since Top was his first relationship. I just hope he's not using Ray, and he actually wants to explore how that goes. I just have this weird feeling that Mew is smarter than he looks, and he is purposely giving off a naive look to get away with things. UPDATE: I just saw this tik tok about how Top shared his trauma about fire with Mew (I actually completely forgot about that) and that’s why Mew decided to burn the paper / memory… that would explain both of their expressions, I NEED AN INHALER, THESE THEORIES ARE TOO GOOD.

Top: FRICK THIS MAN. Deserves everything that’s coming his way fr (#1). I felt bad for him slightly but that’s only because I do think he was slowly becoming better because of Mew. However, if he was insecure about Mew and Ray, he should’ve just asked. Instead he let Boston (I’ll get to him soon) of all people talk him into believing that more happened that night. Then, sleeping with his bf’s best friend to ‘even the playing field’ was so disgusting. I give him like half kudos, actually more like 1/8 kudos for stopping Boston in the elevator (the bare fricking minimum but it’s a lot for him) but he should’ve just owned up to what he did and talked to Mew. Instead he had the nerve to be jealous of Mew and Ray, even going as far as to accuse Mew of sleeping with Ray EVEN AFTER he got revealed for cheating. I also hate the way he says stuff like “I will make you fall in love with me again” he always sounds so conceited and arrogant. I hope he realizes that Mew is the best thing to happen to him and grovels to his feet.

Boston: I’m in awe of how awful this man is, like just when I think there’s no way he can be worse, he proves me wrong. Deserves everything that’s coming to him fr (#2). (Side note: can we talk about how talented of an actor Neo is??? He’s so good at playing Ton!!! I think he is narcissistic because I don’t understand how he can be so oblivious or ig non-caring of everyone else’s feelings. Even when it was discovered that he slept with Top, he turned it all around and told Mew that without him, he wouldn’t have been able to get Top… THE ABSOLUTE NERVE OF THIS MAN. Mew was so real for kicking him into the pool and punching him, because he needs it beaten into him. I also find his character fascinating, I noticed a couple of times how he will purposely change his calculating expression to one that is drunk and oblivious to everything. There was the time they were at the bar and he calls Ray a burden (I need to make a whole new post if I wanted to rant how much I hate that they call him that), and again when they were celebrating Mew's birthday. I do think that some of this detachment and not caring stems from the fact that he wants to move to pursue his photography, so he thinks "why care, if I'm leaving it all behind"

Nick: He's another confusing character, I just don't know how to feel for him. I mean at first I felt bad for him because he genuinely likes Boston for whatever reason, but seriously the way he goes about EVERYTHING is so wrong. Firstly, his interest stems from him snooping in Ton's phone and then proceeding to j*rk off to him like... that's so messed up. Then he takes a photo of himself, and okay that leads to them sleeping together. No matter how much I dislike Boston, he did say from the beginning that he wasn't interested in a relationship, he made it clear. Therefore, really Nick didn't have any reason to do the things he did. THE TAPE????? That was so so messed up. He not only recorded him without his consent, he then shared that with Sand. I can't even feel bad for him anymore, he's just so delusional and lost, and I just want him to find someone else and realize there's better out there then Boston. I wanted him to stop trailing over Ton like a lost puppy. Also side note: the way he said "I'm nasty too" when talking to Top, okay Nick go off ig. I need him to have his "idc" era so Boston will be the one beginning for him instead.

Ray: I was literally defending Ray since the beginning (still kind of am) but honestly, I'm so disappointed. There's so much more to his character then what meets the eye. I firstly want to say this and get it out of the way, FRICK RAY'S FRIENDS... every single one of them. It was obvious from the beginning that he had drinking problems, and yet it doesn't seem like anyone has tried to talk to him, to help him realize he's struggling with alcoholism (I know Ray is an adult, but addiction is not always easy to see, if a friend of mine was obviously struggling with something, I would help however I can). And before anyone goes "But Mew was there.. blah blah" I will shut that down rn. I appreciate Mew being his emergency contact, I really do but the way he acts sometimes sounds condescending. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE CONVO IN THE BATHROOM ON MEW'S BIRTHDAY: Him saying "You're going to die before 30"???? How could you say that knowing he was/is su!c!dal. (Sorry I went on a tangent when I was supposed to be talking about Ray's characterization). Anyways, I feel like since he's never had a genuine friendship or someone who wants him not for his money, he latches onto Sand. (I know their "relationship" starts off of money but later it's more). Another reason I say this is because at Mew's birthday, he tells Sand "If you want money, sleep with me" which I think is from his insecurity that Sand doesn't actually want him, and that he would end up alone again. His mom is dead, she was never comforting or close to him. His dad (frick him) only cares about the car and didn't care that he was in hospital. (I'm still curious what he asked Sand to do). However, I think this shaped him to start taking advantage of Sand. Just like Boston, Ray did make it clear from the beginning that this was in no means a relationship so he's not technically in the wrong. It just sucks, because you can tell he is at least attracted (it actually runs deeper, I know it) and I truly think he only loves Mew as a friend, and because he was just so glad someone was there for him when he needed someone the most.

Sand: BEST CHARACTER OF THE WHOLE SHOW FR FR. He deserves the whole world, and I will defend him until the end, he can do no wrong. (Okay so it was wrong how he manipulated Ray into exposing Top and Ton but honestly, it needed to be done.) I love how he was just minding his own business, living life until Top made him angry.. Then he woke up and chose violence, causing everyone's dirty laundry to be aired. I really felt bad for him and Nick in the scene when they were hugging because they are literally two feathers of the same bird, they are in the exact same situation. I love him and I'm glad he knows his worth (I say this because in the preview of ep 8, he says "I'm not your rebound") IKTR SAND, YOU TELL HIM!!

Cheum: Girly needs more screen time fr :( They need to show more of her and April, I loved that they showed them communicating their issues. I also think it's hilarious how she tries to stop fights, like she screamed for Boston and Mew to stop fighting but didn't jump into the pool LMAO or when she sprayed everyone with water when Top came to see Mew at the hotel. I think she knew about Ray's feelings for Mew, or at least she found out at the party for sure. Either way, sometimes she needs to think before she says stuff, but I still love her anyways.

RELATIONSHIP RANKINGS

Ray + Sand -> even though Ray is on time out right now for the way he keeps hurting Sand, I still want them to be endgame. I truly think Sand brings out the best in Ray, and Ray understands Sand is a way that others don't. I do however want Sand to make Ray jealous so he will open his eyes and realize that Sand is the one for him. (Side note: I need the sad edits to stop, why does every freaking romance song fit them???) Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo and them >>>>> (that's literally their song, don't try to fight me).

Cheum + April -> cuties that haven't done anything wrong yet, and just love each other. I NEED MORE SCREEN TIME OF THEM THOUGH!!!

Ray + Rehab -> This would also be cute <3 I want this along with Sand and Ray, a throuple if you will.

Nick + self love -> he just needs to first learn his own worth before he can get into a relationship. I'm hoping the guy in the promo for next episode is an ex, and that they end up being good for each other. I do not want him with Boston, that's for sure.

Mew + therapy -> I feel like he's going to need some after dealing with Top and Boston, I hope he finds someone way way way better than Top.

Boston + detention center -> someone get this man and let him isolate to himself. Since he's so narcissistic, this shouldn't be too bad, he can listen to himself talk all day <3

Top + no one -> Since he thinks everyone wants him, I hope he ends up alone and realizes that he sucks, and how he treated everyone was not okay.

#only friends the series #ray x sand #top x mew #boston x nick #cheum x april #only friends spoilers #ray x mew #top x boston #spoilers ig #gmmtv

[stickystarspectrumtroll-ocs]

Taking this uquiz for my OCs

Luna’s result:

My first instinct was to say this isn’t accurate to Luna at all except for that first sentence. But I mean...people in Luna’s life HAVE failed her, if you count her peers and teachers and the rest of her village apart from her parents. The entire community shouldn’t have treated her the way it did. “You still cling to the hope that not everyone will hurt you” is less accurate, she did give up on having any connections aside from her parents pretty early and has been a loner for much of her life. “There are people out there who care, you just have to find them” IS kind of her story arc though. 

Jewel’s result:

I was definitely not expecting this. I mean, they do have wildly different vibes and all. But honestly, this does make SOME sense. They’re both fundamentally some of the most kindhearted people ever, right? And “No matter what happens in life, you will always remain true to yourself and the things you love” definitely applies. 

Allets’s result:

Pre-story, yep, pretty much.

I decided to try for post-story too. 

It’s...not NOT accurate.

Eliote’s result (pre-story):

Well frick, I wasn’t expecting that either. But yeah, she does try to be straightforward and no-nonsense about problems and solutions. I don’t see her being very critical or judgemental about others’ mistakes though. Unless it’s somecreature she doesn’t like. 

Eliote’s result (post-story):

...Okay this might be the first truly completely inaccurate result here.

Maddie T also got Tommy. I guess I can see it. Aside from them both being chaotic as heck (though I feel like they’re very different kinds of chaotic), I feel like they’re both incredibly resilient and have an honestly pretty much unstoppable drive to keep going. And there’s a lot to them both beyond “weird chaotic child” that a lot of people are too focused on “weird chaotic child” to see. 

Finley also got Niki, and I guess it makes sense. “No matter the struggles and hardships in life, you always manage to be better and rise above it. Self-reflection is difficult sometimes, but when it comes to you, you allow the thoughts to pass.” She IS kinda always trying to push past failures and setbacks and whatever the heck and Get Better at things. “You take your mistakes as lessons to learn from, not to feel shame for.” I mean, she does hate making mistakes, but she always tries to learn from them and use them to improve. 

Penny’s result:

Makes sense.

Twig also got Niki. Which...I guess can apply? “No matter the struggles and hardships in life, you always manage to be better and rise above it.” She IS fairly resilient and persistent. “Self-reflection is difficult sometimes, but when it comes to you, you allow the thoughts to pass.” Emphasis on the first part for her, but, yeah. “Oftentimes, you find yourself silent on the sidelines while others are free to talk. Raise your voice. Every word you speak has value. It deserves to be heard.” O U G H  okay yeah that part hit. 

~ BONUS ~

C.C. also got Tommy. It’s not terribly INaccurate, I guess?

Jasper’s result:

Okay, THIS honestly could not be further from the truth, it’s honestly hilarious. He knows exactly who he is and exactly how he views the world and he overthinks near-nothing whatsoever. Is this result because he put “neutral” on most of the questions? For him that mostly meant “depends” or “for some people that might be true but not for me, and neither of us is right or wrong really”. 

#uquiz for my ocs #all ocs + c.c. and jasper #maybe i'll retake it for eliote and jasper

[jinxedrose4ever]

Her Forever Grey Sky & The Deal

"Another pale morning," she said as she sat on her bed. The view of her window and grey sky was unobstructed. She sighs and covers her mouth as she coughs. She takes the covers off as she gets out of bed and almost collapses on the floor from light-headedness.

"Frick-," she sighs again. "Another moment I'm alive isn't really a day, its just repeated moments of dread and lonliness. But who cares? Only me since everyone else left..." It's been very hard on Sakura lately. All her friends are gone, her boyfriend tried but even he too was repelled by her. Anyone, she held feelings for vanished once again. She knew the pain was the only lasting thing she'd get from these relationships she put herself in. But she loved the high. She has her good moments when she's lost in a beautiful song but the moment isn't long enough. She closes her eyes and sinks into the melody, seeing her love there with her dancing to the beat. Or if it's a sad song, it only reminds her of him walking away.

She's been trying to move on for months. Lyrics pulling her like metal to a magnet. The melody and truth of the words she hears drown her. Self-harm doesn't even come into play since she had people destroy her so many times, hurting herself would mean nothing. Their words, their moments together, that alone could break her. She tries her best to smile, sometimes it's genuine. Other times she's just trying to not raise suspicion. 

No one cares.

She's tried so many times to find one person who truly cares but in the end, they're all the same. They make her feel like she's on the best high, then they leave. And they drop her to the floor for her to pick up the pieces alone. She can only smile sadly when thinking of her last beloved because she truly thought he was different. In a lot of ways he was. But he too gave up. She screams and cries out for him whenever she can't take it anymore. Hours upon hours of reminiscing and tears. She stands in the light of happiness only a few times when he's not on her mind, but the darkness always calls her back. 

She slowly walks over to her dresser and kneels before it. She opens the middle compartment and moves aside her clothes and finds her little book. From within her book, she takes out his pictures and sadly smiles again. his face forever in her mind.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? All I did was love you and you can't give me peace of mind? Is it because you know if you call my name I'll come running back? Is it because you know my heart aches for your touch? Or maybe because you just love torturing me? I have so many questions but you're here to answer any of them. The only time I ever see your face is on this piece of paper." She sighs and closes the middle compartment and takes their pictures back to her bed.

"Remember all the times we cuddled in my bed babe? And how you called me your honey pie? I loved when you called me your honey pie. No one else called me that and it felt so right. It wasn't some dirty nickname, it was filled with love every time you said it." She stops for a second to blink away the tear from leaving her eye.

"Remember how I'd lay on your chest and you'd rub my back because you knew I liked that? And I'd just lay there smiling letting you take care of me because I have never felt safer anywhere but in your arms. I know you are sick, but I didn't care. You told me you could die any second of any day and I choose to stay with you. You told me things that you said would make others run. But I stayed. You loved me, you took care of me, and you treated me like I was human and I loved you for that..." She looked down and frowned. She walked over to her window and leaned on it looking at the mundane sky.

"You were my sunshine no matter how sad you would get. But I guess keeping me was too much for you..." She tried keeping her composure but the tears fell anyway.

"Don't you love me anymore? The last thing that I wanna be is a waste of your time but I thought I was yours forever. You made me promise. I did. I knew we were made to be separated from each other but... the fact you don't wanna hold me anymore is what hurts the most. I know I'm the one who messed everything up but after I found a way for us to be together, you didnt-" She chokes back another sob. "You didn't wanna hold me. You didn't want to be in my arms. You couldn't even respond to me. I gave you everything I had to give and with just some words... I always portrayed I was tough, but with your words, I fell apart. You took the pieces of my heart that I gave you and dropped them on the floor." She punches the window and breaks it.

"What did I do to deserve this!? I loved you and you just threw me away like everyone else! You knew my heart was fragile from all the loss I've experienced and you still chose to let me go like that!" She slumped on the floor and covered her face while she sobbed. The walls were the only ones to hear.

"If I thought killing myself would help, I would. But I'll just be thrown into eternal torture which would be much worse than the affairs of the heart." She gets up and walks to her bathroom. Once there, she steps into the tub and lays there. Her tears ever flowing. Was there no one who would comfort her? She would assume not since the only thing touching her was the tub she was in. Then a thought finally clicked in her head.

"You were my sunshine but you're not here anymore..." She looked up at the small window in her bathroom and tears continued to flow.

"That's why there's always a grey sky in my life."

~

After months of healing, she was brand new again. No sorrow. No pain. No weight over her shoulder. But things only stay golden for so long. She met someone new. She wanted to impress this guy because she only thought highly of him. She started talking to him. Sooner rather than later, he started asking for things. Things he could get from anyone but asked her. He must've seen her as easy to ask. And she proved him right by doing whatever he wanted of her. He was so tempting she couldn't resist. 

He made a deal with her and he had no evil intentions himself, but she should see the devil in his eyes. Extending his hand he asks, "If you wish to do this, things can't go back to the way they were. No feelings are to be involved in this. Do we have a deal?". Slightly scared by stepping into this new territory, she shook his hand. She enjoyed what was next to come. But after a short while, she caught feelings for this man. It was nothing she couldn't handle. To her dismay, her feelings were brought to account and cut at the stem. She confessed everything. The man knew this would happen and had to decline her affection. The woman knew that would happen and even though a single tear did drop, she made sure not to let the man know.

The deal went on as agreed. The rejection only made her want to care for him more. And that she did. She admired so much of this man, she wasn't sure of her feelings but she knew he made her smile. He made her happy. Even if they can't be together, her heart knew that just being by his side was enough for her. Her motivation to become better was from viewing him. His confidence in himself and his work drove her to work harder. It was interesting to her because until this man came into her life, she had never been rejected. She hoped that sometime in the future his liking for her would change and her liking of him wouldn't. She was overall pleased with this man. 

After some time, the man decide to break the deal they had and she knew it was bound to happen. This hurt a bit more than her initial rejection due to the fact that not only was she not worthy of him, but even of the simple deal they made. It displaced her greatly but brought her to the realization that he may never want her. 'Am I that repulsive or unattractive that he wouldn't want me? He's told me repeatedly that I am beautiful. Was I just something for him to look at? He pushes me to be only a friend? If he didn't care for my feelings, would he even want to be my friend? His companionship gave me something to look forward to every day.'

Once again, she felt alone. Her brother was seldom around and he was her sole confidant. No friends to speak up. No embracing family. No one to turn to but him and even at that, she was unwanted. She now realized the world can be very cruel and to survive, she must live the rest of her life alone and unloved by all. No matter how they praised her. Looks are skin deep and even her skin had scars.

If you were to see her now, you would never tell something was bothering her. She looked so joyful and full of life. But that's something many people are great at. Hiding. Hiding how they feel inside. Without a caring hand, they would open up to no one. If you care for something, don't settle for a "Are you okay?". Work with that person. Show them in even small ways you care for them. So many people go uncared for and the stress of life becomes a burden and they remove it. They remove themselves from life. You may not know that person who OD-ed or threw themselves from a bridge, but if you have friends you care for, don't let that happen to them. All it takes is one moment and you may never see that person again. 

Enjoy the time you have.

Protect and love your friends.

You never know when they could leave and never come back.

~Fin~

[thewriting-corner]

Writing Romance

If you know me, you know I love romance, ESPECIALLY romcoms. However, in my 19 years of life I have been on one date and my first kisses were not good experiences lol. So, how do I as a non experienced human write romance? …

Listen to people talk

Not to say that I’m an eavesdropper BUT one of my favorite things to do is listening to people talk. One of my favorite places to do so is a hair salon. You learn a lot about people at hair salons, especially when they slip and start talking about their relationships lol.

Also take a look at people’s (family members, friends, strangers) relationships. See how they show their love, and what things work for them.

Talk to people/Ask questions

Weird fun fact about me: literally everyone in my life right now is in a relationship. It’s annoying to say the least, BUT it also means I can ask questions. With my sister, we talk a lot about marriage and knowing when it’s “right”. Then with my best friend I tend to ask a lot about how dates work and how relationships start. While it’s not the same experience, it helps to get a view of how it works for different people.

Some questions I really like asking older couples is how they met. My mom’s best friend, for example, met her husband when they were in high school. She rejected him because she wasn’t allowed to date and then a year later he asked her out again and she said yes. They were together until 12th grade, broke up, and bumped into each other four years later and got engaged about four months into seeing each other again. Obviously their story is very romantic and I fully plan on asking them permission to write about them, but my point of this is that when she allowed me to ask questions, I learned a WHOLE lot of not only love, but why her son and I would never work. And that experience of her opening up to me about her past has really translated into the way I write relationships now.

Read romance books

Even if you’re writing a story in a completely different genre, so long as you’re including romance it’s important to read at least a little bit in this genre. Real life romance is usually not as complicated or dramatic as it is in books, and while keeping reality is always important in terms of character relationships, unfortunately for us readers romance irl doesn’t usually happen the same way it does in fiction. So if you’re going to add the romantic subplot (or write a romantic main plot) study the structure of a romantic comedy/novel/thriller/whatever. It will help you incorporate it in a way that won’t mess up the pacing of an, idk, fantasy book with a side character love interest.

Read widely (about everything)

One of the reasons why I despise my old writing is the way I portrayed really toxic behavior in a positive and romantic light. I would excuse really bad behavior with the reason that love makes us crazy and crazy makes us do dumb things. I hate this, but I didn’t know better. In my head, a teen relationship meant having to hide it from your family or else you would get the “boys will ruin your future and get you pregnant” talk. A teen relationship meant doing sexual things, even if you weren’t ready, because that’s what everyone did. To me, relationships were fighting with your spouse and the first one to threaten to leave, won.

And now that I’m older I really want to hug my younger self because what the actual frick was that. It took a lot of reading on psychology, couple’s therapy posts, the Christian take on relationships/marriage and books that portrayed healthy relationships to fix that mindset. And of course, if your book is handling a toxic relationship then I guess it’s okay to have the characters do some not-okay stuff BUT if your goal is to show healthy relationships, I truly think it’s important to have a clear definition of what healthy means.

[hueningshaped]

omg you're SO right beffie 0x1=lovesong literally caused a shift in the whole universe, we're not even biased it's just a fact😌💗 and ofc yj and hyuka my loves😔😔 yj is so amazing inside and out it's no wonder he's pretty much every moa's first love!! and YES hyuka my plushie/pokemon/egg tart lover he is such a great person :( every time i think of the to do episode where they were fighting for the christmas gifts and he just. he let soobin have the ps5 although he had the chance to take it. TEARS real tears!! so yeah i do watch to do!! i haven't really watched talk x today and tbh i've only had the time to watch like one or two episodes in full because 😐uni😐 but i've seen a lot of clips and i plan to watch the episodes in full once the semester ends!! so to answer your question my favorites are ep. 61+62 aka the ones where they act like teachers and talk about themselves and then they do the whole thing where they have to find a question and guess which members will come out of the box😭😭 literally how did the five funniest people on earth manage to end up in the same group🤨🤨 which one is yours!!!!🫶🏻🫶🏻 also!!! first of all THE TAEHYUN FIC?????? you are literally physically unable to write anything less than amazing I'M SURE OF IT really had me fighting that royal who mistreated yn in my head😾😾 and secondly !!!MOST IMPORTANTLY!!! omg PLEASE do not feel bad about not posting any writing like?? you're not obligated to constantly write stuff, please take your time with it!! and as amazing as your writing is it's pretty much just a plus because your personality is even better😭 i love seeing you post no matter if it's writing or not so don't ever feel guilty about it i'm begging</3 hope you're doing great!!!💘💘 -🧃

truly honestly i could talk about txt for the rest of my life 😁😁🫶🫶 we are in this moa business for LIFEEE not yj being everyone’s first loveeee goddd 🫠🥺 ur so right ur so RIGHT!! (about everything yes hehe but about yj and hk) and omg i need to watch those eps asap !!! i feel like such a FRAUD bc im judt now trying to watch all of them (idk why i just kept putting off ughhghfhv) but i’ll definitely watch that one and ur favs tonight 🥺 omg frick uni !!!!!! (jk hehe) i hope u find time to do so and take care of urself and treat urself when the semester is over bc u deserve it ~~ AND YEAH how lucky were we to have five of the FUNNIEST sweetest cutest most insanely talented guys in one group wtfxgchhx it’s just crazy to me !!! my favorites so far are 17, 29, 53-54 hehe ive skipped around a lot/really havent seen much so i feel like im biased and wrong but those are ones i cant get enough of ^^^ 🫶🏼 seeing txt like one big happy family just bros being bros is my fav we love to see it 🫶🏼 i feel im talking too too much about myself 😓 sorry 🥺 OMG NO WAY PLSSEASDEEE thats so kind of you to say 🥺 thank u so much for that ,,,,❤️‍🔥and i’ll keep that in mind 😿🫡❤️🥺🫶🏼 that really means a lot to me all of ur words are very dear to me and ur so sweet i could cry :”0 i won’t feel guilty about it then thank u again 💗 im doing pretty good at the moment actually, happy i can say that truthfully ~ and i hope the same for you x 1000 !! so serious when i say i hope something good will happen to you today/everyday 🥺🥺🥺🥺 also umm do u like any other groups and/or what other music do u enjoy :00000 (sorry im bad at coming up w nice questions for conversation ahhhhh)

(some gyus for you ❤️‍🩹🫶🏼)

#ask >3<

[lokigodofaces]

Okay, so this post got me thinking about the cinematography in Loki. Because, yeah, it sucked. They managed to make Tom fricking Hiddleston look bad. There's bad cinematography, and then there's bad cinematography.

But, there were some cool things that happened (at least to my taste). A few shots in the TVA that made me go, "Hey, that looks pretty cool." The two that I can think of is the beginning of episode five (camera travels through the TVA to the head of one of the Time Keepers), and a rotating shot of an elevator (that also might only have been in the trailer...I don't remember where it was in the series, but I remember thinking it felt trippy in the trailer and that was back when we thought this was Marvel's Doctor Who, so that was a good thing, at least to me, for it to be trippy).

But, did those shots mean anything? Did they add anything? Or was the cinematography team just showing off?

I'm not saying it's illegal to have cool shots, cool shots are awesome. But you have to be careful to not make them feel out of place. Sometimes it's hard for me to catch it because my first thoughts are, "Aesthetic. Cool. Can watch forever," but after a while I start to ask myself why it was put there.

Just to make an extreme example, imagine a movie like A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood with these sort of shots. It would feel so weird! It wouldn't fit in with the tone at all! It would be distracting and take away from the experience of watching the movie.

The goal should be to create shots that fit with the tone and add to the story. War Horse is a good example off the top of my head. It's a WWI movie, obviously there is death. But the way the deaths are shot made me feel things. The scene showing all the deaths in the trenches/No Man's Land is probably my favorite shot depicting war ever. War is always awful and always has lots of death and destruction, but WWI was something else. People forget how bad it was, but it was awful. And nothing can truly depict how awful it was. But this scene did a pretty good job. You're just watching as person after person after person is hammered with bullets as the camera pans across, showing everything. It was a simple technique with the camera compared to other things that have been done. But just panning across to show all the death was what was needed. It makes you realize that this war was awful and that so many people died and there was nothing they could do. And I don't want to spoil the rest, but everyone should watch it. It's a phenomenal movie, brilliant cinematography, great acting and directing, just everything is lovely (also, if you're following me there's a good chance you like Tom Hiddleston, and he is in this movie).

The shots I mentioned from Loki do not do what the cinematography does in War Horse. It took me out of the moment. It was distracting. Why are things turning suddenly? Where's Loki? Why are we focusing on the Time Keeper's head? We saw last episode, darn it. What is happening? That's what went through my head while watching the series. Yeah, they were cool shots. They could've been phenomenal in something else. But what the heck? Why were they being used when they were in Loki? Why was that allowed?

TL;DR: fancy shots aren't always the best thing, the few in Loki were distracting, not aligned with the tone, and didn't add anything.

#rip to the series it's the only marvel title i can think of where i'd say the cinematography is bad #i'm not saying all the other's are amazing but i dont think any were bad #some were really good! like thor 1 (dont mind my obsession with dutch angles)! #but this series did not have good cinematography #loki (2021) #loki (2021) critical #war horse (2011) #bc i went on a tangent there

[bokashi]

Legit My Favorite Fics of All Time Holy Shit (Haikyuu)

I'll organize it by ship and try to include some details. I have a massive, well-organized folder of fics (probably over 100 fics jeez), but these are my favorites, the ones I've reread the most, or have taken up a lot of my headspace. Enjoy. :)

Bokuaka <3

Rules - ConesOfDunshire - Explicit, AU: Musician Autistic Bokuto, Accountant Akaashi - A bokuaka classic and probably my favorite Haikyuu fic of all time. Truly my favorite (top 3 at the very least). It's such a lovely story with minimal angst and a frick ton of fluff, and we get to watch as these two beautiful boys fall in love with each other. Well worth the read.

This Smacks of Rainbows - darkgaaraluver - Teen, AU: soulmates, still volleyball players at fukurodani, pre-canon, reincarnation - I love reading stories from Akaashi's perspective because he is a poetry gay and so we get the most beautiful language when describing Bokuto. There is so much pining and angst in this it hurts. Truly, this fic causes pain, but the comfort that follows is so sweet, that it makes it worth it. I reread this one at least 5 times after first discovering it.

like patience on a monument - titanscrow - Teen, Canon Compliant, slow-burn - Literally just read this one. That's how good it is. I already KNOW that this will be on my list. As the author says in the notes, they're allergic to sadness, so although this is a slow burn, there isn't a lot of angst in my opinion. Seeing Bokuto from Akaashi's eyes is once again, one of the most beautiful things, but we also get peeks at how Bokuto views Akaashi and that's honestly what changed this story from really good to an absolute favorite. (Note: it's all from Akaashi's POV, but when you get there, you'll know what I mean.) The author also came out with a new bokuaka fic (~5000 words) and I am IN LOVE WITH IT. So please read that too!

O-week is Wild - KnottyRoses - Teen, AU: College, FLUFF, COMFORT, BEAUTY, GRACE - This is my comfort fic. Feeling down? Read this because your mood will be lifted. We follow bokuaka during O-week (a Canadian term, but basically college/uni orientation). Bokuto is such a sweetheart. Characterization may be a little off (for Akaashi moreso), but I truly dream that this is how their personalities would develop in this universe, so it doesn't matter!!

polaris - ClementineKitten - Teen, AU: reincarnation, pining - Honestly what really gets me about this fic is Fates' little mentions of their previous lives. I love watching these boys fall in love through snippets and this is the perfect fic for that.

how you wish it would be all the time - drifting_i - General, Slow burn, post-time skip, "domestic bliss" - I think about this fic all the time. It hits me when I least expect it. Personally, I love the idea of Bokuto and Akaashi keeping in contact and seeing each other when they can, and this fic is an amazing example of that. And really, it is so freaking well written. I fell in love with this story and I hope you do to.

Iwaoi

Six-Month Lover - afuzzyowl - Explicit, pining, fluff and angst (a lovely combo, but if you're afraid of angst, it's not that bad!) - This one is so cute, and it's from an alternating POV, which is always nice with longer fics. It's particularly lovely because we get to watch Iwa fall for Oikawa (and using the best metaphor to justify it, a door opens—I realize now that sounds like a flattykawa joke, but I really just like that metaphor). But anyways, the way Hajime falls is soft and beautiful and it makes me believe in good things?! I just love it.

I sure hope that guy gets fired - Xov - Teen, time loop, pining, pre-time skip - This is another fic that is in my top 3. Truly, one of the best. *chef's kiss* I'm a sucker for fics with supernatural elements (body swap, etc.). We once again watch Iwa fall in love (are you sensing a pattern), and his POV is so wonderful. It's so well written and feels in character. Watching the relationship between Oikawa and Iwa bloom makes my heart swell. Please, please read this one.

and suddenly, we were strangers - izayas - Teen, angst with happy ending, amnesia, canon divergence, time skip - This made me cry for so many reasons. It's a rollercoaster of feelings and although the angst is there, iwaoi are still pretty much together, so it doesn't always feel like angst, it just feels like a speedbump on their road to happiness. And it diverges from the other two: this time we watch Oikawa fall in love, although for very different reasons! :) :(

you'd be happier instead if you stayed in [my] bed // sometimes b sides are the best songs - ClementineKitten + overwhelmingly_awesome - Mature, time skip, angst (up the wazoo), alcohol, pining, infidelity (iwa has a fiance) - CRAP! I love this one!! I think this is the last of the top 3. It's a two-parter, links included for both parts. We return to formula with Iwa being behind on the whole feelings thing (what's new). And it hurts and it heals? This fic is truly hurt/comfort for the soul. And also shockingly rational, which is often unusual in Iwaoi fics. They approach situations like adults (mostly... cheating is wrong straight up, so that's immature). If you're looking for adult Hajime and Tooru, I'm pleased to say that this feels like two adults figuring out a tough situation patiently. That's just one way to sell this wonderful fic, I could go on... But I won't...

lips like sugar - ohhotlamb - Teen, first kiss, canon compliant, (1 teeny tiny boner), kissing practice - YES! I shall include 1 kissing practice fic, it would be rude not to! No more elaboration because it's short enough for you to enjoy on your own!! And it's KISSING PRACTICE, come on, why are you still here, GO READ THIS FIC!

Matsuhana

聞けよ [Ask] - AshenBee - Teen, slow burn, time skip, quarter-life crisis (lol relatable tag), unemployed hanamaki <3 - What a beautiful story... I love Matsuhana content. We get little snippets of these boys just trying to figure out life and it's wonderful. LOTS of pining. Hanamaki moves in with Matsukawa for a bit. I don't even know how to sell this fic because it kind of sells itself. It's a character study of Hanamaki and as a young adult going through similar quarter-life crises, it's relatable and helps to deal with those feelings.

call me maybe - totooru - Teen, partially a text fic (not all of it, lots of writing), HUMOR, fluff, AU where Mattsun goes to Karasuno - Let me tell you this is straight up the funniest fic I've read. I cackled out loud so many times. It's insane. I'm an easy laugh, so maybe that says something, but either way, if you need something to lift you up, this is a greater fic for it. No angst, just prolonging the inevitable, and two boys who basically fell for each other right off the bat. A dynamic duo truly.

Miya Atsumu & Osamu (BIG BIG SPOILERS FOR THE FIC IN THIS DESCRIPTION, JUST BEWARE IF YOU WANT TO GO IN BLIND)

for just another day - sieges - General, canon divergence, photography, BIG SPOILER BUT I DON'T WANT TO SEND PEOPLE IN BLIND BECAUSE IT MIGHT WRECK YOU: major character death - This fic holds a special place in my heart for many reasons, but mostly because I lost my brother a little over a year ago. Completely different from this situation, but nonetheless, incredibly difficult. I 100% sobbed reading this fic. And it really helped me unpack a new part of my grief and my relationship with my brother. I really love what this story did with handling the death of a sibling, not sure if the author went through something like this, but it felt very real to me. (And now all I crave is Miya twins angst...) Also, I swear there's some form of closure. It's not terribly sad! It obviously deals with heavy topics, but at least for me, it felt like being wrapped up in a blanket and being told that everything will be okay.

I try to avoid sadness and angst at all costs (that one bokuaka fic that shall go unnamed really did a number on my grieving ass, so I can't handle anything like that anymore—it was so bad that I had to unpack it in therapy, jeez...). Most of these fics have mild angst or a lot of fluff to make up for heavy angst. There are definitely a lot of angst fics that I have saved, but obviously, that's not always my favorite brand for shipping (I just want everyone to be happy most of the time). Let me know if you read/have read any of these, I'm always up for discussion. :)

#fic recommendation #haikyuu #bokuaka #iwaoi #matsuhana #miya twins #atsumu #osamu #haikyuu!! #fics

[jojotichakorn]

Heyo there

I have had another thought!! The big thing that split the two families is the big contention right now. And I know the running theory is a past relationship the ended very sourly, through cheating. But I cast that one to the wind for this one:

What if Pat's dad cheated in uni, and somehow got Pran's mum thrown out of uni, whether because he framed her or because they both did and she was the one who got caught, and he didn't?

That would explain the absolute huge amount of hostility, Pat's dad being obsessed with Pat maintaining his image through uni and Pran's mum's extreme words in ep 6? Just a thought, cause considering HCTM as P'Aof's previous work not afraid with going down darker roads for storyline, that makes more sense to me.

And also listen, but listen! I very much know that you are aboard the annoyed train for Wai this week, and you are very valid to do so cause he's being a gigantic wet noodle. BUT, but considering that we're still in Pat pov (you convinced me, and a rewatch confirmed it for me) it still makes sense. Even though we see glimpses of each character's pov in each episode, it was still more central around Pat. And P'Aof did the same thing for Korn in the first episodes. We were all on the 'Wai's a dick, but he's being provoked by the bigger dick Korn', agenda not two weeks ago. And at all times that the two have taken the rivalry too far, Pat and Pran have had the short end of the stick each time.

I have a feeling that in the next big fiend/friend fight, one of them is going to hurt Pran worse. Unless the shot from the credits part 2 electric boogaloo where Pat is rubbing Pran's shoulder *again* is just him being fussy over Pran, it's the opposite shoulder to his first injuries. And maybe because of that, Pran can't participate in the second football game, where they are all on the same side. You saw everyone in the previews but Pran, where is he? Would also explain the fisticuffs.

Anyway...catch me like Pran staring longingly out the window for ep 7 like he's in a fricking Jane Austen novel re-adaptation.

Reliable Anon

hello, my dearest and most reliable anon!!

incredible theory about the parents - i know a lot of people don't want to see the "oh they are exes" thing, so you have provided us with a different possibility and i love it.

i absolutely agree that wai looks even more annoying through pat's eyes, and we are being fed some unreliable narration here. but what if i see the world through pat's eyes? what then? /hj no, but i do truly realize that we aren't seeing any of the wai-pran's-friend-that-teases-him-about-having-a-crush stuff rn, and with the additional layer of four-to-one, which i am still incredibly pissed about, he isn't looking very good right now. i try to level down my annoyance as much as possible though kgfdlkgjfdlkgjdf

as for pat rubbing pran's shoulder, i think you are referring to this scene, which is actually already in the teaser for the next episode rather than the credits part 2 electric boogaloo:

which means that we are potentially getting a fight in episode 7? would kind of make sense, seeing as pran only temporarily stopped his friends' hostility in episode 6. whiiiich potentially means that maybe the whole football plot will happen in episode 8. considering that wai and pat are still hella agro in two football-connected scenes we have already seen, i think it makes sense.

also, imagine if pat IS just fussy over pran here, but this is actually the reason why he doesn't play because pat's all like "babe, remember what happened last time you played with an injury :(" and pran decides to sit this one out (as it is the right thing to do and to not worry his boyfriend too much).

also also, i would fucking die for an ohmnanon jane austen adaptation, but that's personal. and if you had asked me which book i would choose - and you wouldn't, but i will answer anyway - it's definitely persuasion.

#thank u so much for ur galaxy-brained theories as usual <3333 #bad buddy #archer responds #reliable anon

[akakeiiji]

Hi! This is my first time requesting something, i was wondering if you could do headcanons or reactions for Oikawa, Akaashi, Atsumu, sugawara and Nishinoya who have an s/o who is a medical student and works as a paramedic in her free time and tends their injuries after games or durning them, especially oikawa 😔🙏🏻

Omg anon, if this ask is based off of you then you are amazing!! Keep up the great work! 

Also I finally broke through my creative block and actually wrote something, I actually finished these hcs a few days ago but my laptop died before I could post so I had to start from scratch huhu (having to start over drained me so much hence why this took so long to post)

✂︎・・・masterlist

-`,✎Oikawa, Akaashi, Atsumu, Sugawara and Nishinoya’s reaction to their S/O tending to their injuries

Oikawa Tooru

Oikawa is the king of overworking himself

Even when he doesn’t have any matches to worry about, he’s in the gym practicing and practicing till he physically can’t anymore

It’s no wonder why he gets injured a lot, he just never knows when to stop

If it weren’t for you his body would be in horrible shape

You always know what to say and do to get him to stop practicing for the day, and you’re always the one tending to his sore and exhausted body ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

He loves flexing you, he needs everyone to know how smart you are

When I say everyone, I mean everyone

You turn around for a bit and he’s suddenly telling the cashier how amazing you are for being a paramedic

Contrary to popular belief, Oikawa is actually very smart so sometimes he’ll study with you in his free time, helping you out by quizzing you and stuff

He studies your material sometimes, idly reading through your papers and textbooks sometimes

He’ll just randomly blurt out random medical facts, which may or may not be a ploy to impress you

One day when it was reaching the end of a match, you could tell that something was wrong with Tooru, it wasn’t obvious but you knew when he was in pain

You internally screamed at him, urging him to sit the rest of the match out but this was Oikawa you were talking about

Luckily the match ended quickly after that with Oikawa’s team winning but he almost collapses from the sheer pain he was feeling on his leg, it had been acting up again from his old injury

You were absolutely livid because it wouldn't have been so bad if he stopped playing when it started hurting but you were too worried to lecture him

There are tears prickling his eyes but he’s still smiling and telling everyone he’ll be okay because you’re there

“They’re the best of best, they’ll be able to help me!”

He’d be bedridden for a while and, of course, you’d be by his side the entire time

You scolded him for an hour and he couldn’t run away so he had to endure it all

For the first few days, everything would be okay, but after a while, he starts getting restless and keeps trying to get up to do things by himself

You would physically restrain him to the bed if you could

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JUST KIDDING….Unless

He wants nothing more than to go back to training, he’d literally start dreaming about volleyball on some nights

You have to constantly remind him that if he doesn't recover properly he’ll just worsen his leg so that he doesn’t run away while you’re at school or at work

“If it gets worse, they might have to amputate it.”

“What?! You can’t be serious…you’re joking, right?”

Since he can’t go out or train anymore, he spends the rest of his time trying to get your attention

He’s so pouty and whiny, always calling for you for no good reason

While you’re studying in the other room, he’ll suddenly call for you saying he needs you

When you go over to him, he’ll just be like: “I need you~” and you’d have to fight the urge to strangle him

He really just wants your attention, pls help him

In all seriousness though, he’s so thankful to you and truly appreciates what you do

While you’re checking on his leg one day, he’d take your gentle hands in his and pull you in for a hug

“Thank you for putting up with me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“…also I need to pee.”

Akaashi  Keiji

My son

My precious boy

It pains me to write about him getting hurt

He’s so supportive of you and your studies, he knows how hard studying medicine is

He always checks in on you when you’re studying or working

He’s the type of boyfriend that will give you little snacks while you’re working and remind you to take breaks

Whenever he feels sick or gets hurt, you’re the first one he calls because he trusts you the most and because he knows how capable you are

But this happens very rarely because he’s really careful and knows his limits

During one of his matches though, he suddenly falls over after setting a ball, clutching his leg

He’s immediately rushed over to the infirmary but when they arrive you’re already there wheezing and panting after running all the way there from the bleachers

The nurse tells you that he sprained his ankle pretty badly and that he’d recover just fine but you still felt so bad because you could see how much Akaashi was in pain

I'm legitimately hurting rn while writing this

After getting injured, he starts overthinking so fricking much

He’ll start thinking that he was pulling his team down and begin questioning his skills as a player

You literally have to slap some sense into him or he’ll just drown in his thoughts

You’ll have to cup his face in your hands and urge him to look at you while you tell him how much of an amazing player he is and how injuries like these are inevitable when playing sports

He’ll only start feeling better after this but he still needs a huge dose of your hugs and kisses to fully recover

Out of all the boys, he’s probably the easiest to take care of (he’s prolly tied with Suga)

He’s more obedient and doesn’t mind staying in bed for a long time

But at the same time, he’s so stubborn and says he doesn’t need your help

He just keeps thinking that he’s burdening you while you have so much on your plate

“I don’t need your help, love. I’m completely fine.”

“Keiji, there are literally tears in your eyes.”

He subconsciously gets clingier than usual as the days go by, always trying to get your attention

He isn’t as obvious as other ehem tooru and tries to do so in more subtle ways

Like he’ll just accidentally drop his book and when you go to pick it up he’ll pull you onto the bed and before you know it you’ve been cuddling for two hours straight

The extra affection is his own little way of saying thank you

While you’re checking on his injuries he’ll grab your hand with his and press your knuckles to his lips

“Thank you, love.”

My heart burst

Miya Atsumu

Oikawa part 2 but snarkier

He just doEsn’T kNow whEn to StOP

He always finds some nitty gritty detail he absolutely needs to fix during his regular practice and stays after hours to work on it

He can train for hours without realizing it, before he knows it it’s midnight, he’s the only soul left in the building and his legs are dying

Other times, when you arrive home to find your boyfriend missing, you immediately head over to his gym and drag him home

During a match, he dives down to save a ball only to crash on the ground awkwardly and injure his shoulder

He’s forced to leave the court after failing to convince the referee and his coach that he was fine and he was absolutely livid

Not at them but at himself

He thinks that the injury was a sign that he was slacking off or losing his edge

He goes off on a tangent about how he needs to practice more and how he can’t afford to waste time

Nobody could calm him down until you arrived

After you got there and talked some sense into him, he finally complies and lets himself be lead away to the infirmary

He’s down in the dumps for at least a week, usually found grumbling at the tv, unsure of what to do with this unprecedented free time

But soon after a lot of talks lectures with you and food sent by his brother, he starts going back to his usual old self

He’s absolutely basking in this extra attention from you, he secretly loves being doted on

It used to really irk him when he finds he can’t do certain things with his injury like opening a jar

But once it dawns on him that you’re there, he will totally abuse this just to get your attention and to bother you

“Hey, can you help me open the fridge?”

“You can do that by yourself.”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WON’T HELP YOUR INJURED BOYFRIEND.”

Whenever you’re checking on his shoulder, he always distracts you by kissing your lips or neck while you’re trying to be a good s/o and it always ends up in a makeout session or more

Because he’s got so much more free time, he’s usually found in your shared apartment, clinging onto you while you’re studying waiting for you to finish

“Are you ready to dote on me?”

“No, be patient.”

“>:’(”

When the doctor tell him he’s fully recovered, the first thing he does is lift you in his arms and twirl you around

Sugawara Koushi

Precious bby

This mama bear rarely gets injured, he’s usually the one nursing others

You two are like this wonderful duo with magic curing hands

He absolutely loves that you’re pursuing your dreams of being in the medical field and low-key shows you off to everyone he knows

Especially to his parents, they love you almost as much as they love him don't tell him that tho

He’s really careful while playing because he hates being in pain, like more so than the average person if you get what I mean

While blocking though, he ends up injuring his wrists from the sheer strength of the spike and the not so ideal positioning of his arms

He has tears in his eyes while he’s being brought to the infirmary and your heart literally broke as you watched from the sidelines

He was stuck with a wrist splint for a couple of weeks

Like Atsumu he constantly needs your help to do mundane things like open cans and such

Unlike Atsumu though, he’s less whiny and more distraught over the fact that he’s always being doted on

He isn’t used to being the one taken care of

He always tries not to burden you and always tries to do things by himself

“Koushi! What was that crash I heard?”

“Nothing! Don’t mind me, just focus on your work.”

“WHY ARE YOU COOKING!?”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, DAMNIT—”

He broke two plates that day trying to make your favorite meal

Apparently cooking with a splint is pretty difficult, he takes note of this

He becomes guilty when you do things like cook and clean, he tries to help as best he can but you always tell him to just sit back and relax but he jUSt cAn’T

He doesn’t want you to worry about stuff like that because you need to study!! He feels so helpless sometimes

While you’re cooking dinner, you’ll just turn to the side and do a double take when you see him staring at you with wide, concerned eyes

“What?”

“I want to help :(”

He’s literally the living embodiment of this emoji: 🥺

You let him help with little stuff like stirring and watching the pot while you cut the vegetables and stuff

He immediately feels better after this, he wants to feel at least a little bit helpful

At the end of the day, while you two are in bed, he’ll nudge closer to you and pepper your face with kisses

“What was that for?”

“I just love you so much, thank you.”

Nishinoya Yuu

Sorry but everyone at the ER is on a first-name basis with Nishinoya

LISTEN HE’S SO CHAOTIC AND WILD, HE ALWAYS GETS HIMSELF INTO DUMB SITUATIONS

His grandfather didn’t even bat an eye when the school nurse would call him informing him that Nishinoya managed to break his arm during his math exam don’t ask

When he found out about your studies and your job he was so giddy and kept telling you that it was fate and that you two completed each other

He’s literally the proudest boyfriend that you could ever have, always telling everyone about how smart and talented you are

“Yeah, you may be a rocket scientist but you will never be as smart as my s/o!”

“Yuu, what are you doing—”

He loves having a smart s/o, he’s always being wowed by your vast knowledge

You can always find him silently cheering you in the corner while you’re studying

Basically, he’s your number one fan and supporter

Asides from that, he’s also your number one patient

Whenever he gets hurt, you’re the first one he turns to, he tells you it’s good practice and that it’s helping you improve your skills in an attempt to stop you for scolding him

One time, he sprained his elbow while trying to do some new move he saw on tv

Insert vine: I don’t care that you broke your elbow

Except you do care, a lot in fact

He’s lowkey tearing up when being rushed to the infirmary because it hurts but mostly because he just wants to play

You have to be so strict and stern with him

He’s so energetic and bouncy, he definitely doesn’t respond well to being bound with bandages or slings

If it weren’t for you, he probably would have worsened his injuries, but he’s a huge simp so he listens to everything you say…mostly

Since he can’t use his energy for volleyball and sports, he’ll direct that energy towards giving you attention

He becomes sooo affectionate and clingy, he just wants to shower you with love

He gets restless often, whenever he does he’ll plop down beside you and wrap his good arm around your waist while you’re working as a way to remind himself to stay put and to not jump out the window from boredom

“Kiss my boo-boo?”

“What are you? Five?”

Unlike the others, he’s very very open about how thankful he is to have you taking care of him, he would scream it out the window if you would let him

He reminds you every day how blessed he is to have you, at the most random of times actually

“Can you open this bottle for me?”

“Sure.”

“GOD, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE YOU?”

“CALM DOWN—”

He’s so in love, please save him

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru headcanons #akaashi keiji #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi x reader #akaashi #akaashi keiji headcanons #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu headcanons #sugawara koushi #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara #sugawara x reader #sugawara koushi headcanons #nishinoya yuu #nishinoya yuu x reader #nishinoya #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya yuu headcanons

[leejungchans]

— first meetings.

juliet’s masterlist

note: obviously i don’t know what exactly happened that day at mama/award shows in general, so this is mainly based on my own imagination!!

words in bold are spoken in english!!

set on december 5, 2019

summary: juliet catches the eye of a certain someone at mama 2019, and got to meet him all thanks to one jung wooyoung.

a/n: 👀

“That ended way too soon,” Juliet sighs contentedly to Jongho, leaning into his shoulder. Though being exhausted physically from the long day and their performances, her heart has never felt this full.

If you told her a few years ago that she’d be invited to attend MAMA she’d surely laugh in disbelief, but here they are—having performed and received a award in front of one of the largest crowds she’s ever seen with eight of the most important people in her life.

If this is all a dream, Juliet never wants to wake up.

Jongho rests his head on hers. “Yeah,” he says softly, “it feels like... we really made it.”

“You didn’t feel that when we were on tour?” she teases.

“Of course I did, but you know what I mean.” Juliet nods against the crook of his neck. “I can’t believe we’d ever in be the same room as that many big names in the industry, you know?”

She hums. “We’ve come a long way.”

Despite the tender moment between the two youngest members, it’s chaos all around them as their staff hastily packs everything—props, makeup, accessories, costumes, the works—back into suitcases and boxes as they prepare to leave the venue.

“Where are you going?” Jongho asks when Juliet shifts to get up.

“Washroom,” she answers, and he nods before shooing her away jokingly.

Laughing, she slips out of ATEEZ’s waiting room and into the hallway. In her hoodie and matching sweatpants under a long coat, Juliet would’ve blended in with the staff members rushing around to wrap everything up if it weren’t for her styled hair and glittery makeup, both of which she decided to keep on until they get back to the dorms. Just to prolong the magical feeling from tonight.

Just as she’s about to go into the washroom, she hears someone—definitely Wooyoung—shout her name from behind.

“Found you!” Wooyoung, dressed as casually as she is, says gleefully as he pulls her in the opposite direction. “Thank me later, okay?”

“For what? For abducting me outside the women’s restroom?”

Wooyoung snorts. “There’s a good reason—”

“I don’t think there’s ever a good enough justification for stopping someone from going to the toilet! Besides, our managers said we have to leave soon!”

“Yes, there is! Because I’m taking you to meet your favourite seniors!”

Juliet stops in the middle of the crowded hallway. “Wait, who?” she asks suspiciously with narrowed eyes.

Wooyoung’s eyes practically shine when he answers, “SEVENTEEN-sunbaenim!”

“Huh? Why would they want to—Yow! If you keep pulling that hard my arm’s gonna fall off!” she whines as he continues to tug her down the corridor. “How do you even know them?”

“I ran into Seungkwan-sunbaenim in the washroom, and he complimented our performance before saying he’d love to meet more of our members!” Wooyoung explains, oblivious to the way Juliet’s eyes widen. “I was gonna go to our waiting room to grab all of you, but then I realised we probably have to leave soon and was about to turn back when I saw you! This is it!” he finishes excitedly, stopping in front of a door with a label saying ‘SEVENTEEN’ attached to it.

He’s about to knock on the door when her hand shoots up to catch his fist. “Wait! I can’t go in there!” she suddenly protests. “It’s going to be so awkward.”

Wooyoung frowns confusedly. “Huh? Why? We’re just gonna introduce ourselves and stay for a few minut—oh. Oh. Are you still embarrassed by what happened during the show?” he teases, giggling at the way her gaze averts. “Aigoo, it’s going to be okay! I promise you it wasn’t a big deal.”

“She’s amazing,” Juliet leans closer to Wooyoung to murmur dreamily as they watch Chungha’s performance, eyes not leaving the small screen placed in front of their seats. “Everything about this is incredible.”

“I know,” Wooyoung agrees, equally as starstruck. “Also, did you notice we’re sitting in front of SEVENTEEN-sunbaenim?” he asks in a much quieter voice. “Don’t look, though! Act natural.”

“I wasn’t even gonna look!” she complains before whispering, “but yeah, I wanted to tell you but then the show started and I didn’t want them to hear me.”

“You don’t think they can hear us now, right?”

“I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure the music and crowd are too loud for that.”

Wooyoung hums in acknowledgement before they continue to pay full attention to the performance, Juliet mouthing along to the lyrics and subtly doing the key points of the dance.

She gasps quietly when the dance break starts, fully entranced by Chungha’s performance and decides she wants a better view of the choreography, so she cranes her head to find one of the big screens located all around the dome.

The moment she turns to look behind her for said screens, her eyes meet those of SEVENTEEN’s maknae. If she weren’t so startled, she would’ve found the situation more amusing from the way both of their eyes widened before quickly looking away, and she feels the embarrassment burn hot within her as she decides to stick to watching the smaller screen in front of her instead.

“What’s wrong?” Wooyoung asks as Chungha’s performance ends, noticing how Juliet had stiffened up, a stark contrast to her relaxed form from when they were enjoying the other performances.

“Come closer,” she mutters, gesturing with her hand for him to lean in before whispering, “I was trying to watch the big screen just now and accidentally made eye contact with Dino-sunbaenim for a few seconds.”

Wooyoung snorts. “I swear, these things only happen to you, dummy. What happened after that?”

“I turned the frick back around, of course!” Juliet whispers back furiously. “It was so embarrassing.”

“If someone caught that on camera and puts it on YouTube or Twitter or whatever, I’m never letting you live that down.”

Juliet groans and buries her head in her hands, ignoring Wooyoung’s giggles and San’s curious whine of “What? What were you guys talking about?”

The sound of firm knocking snaps Juliet out of her thoughts.

“Jesus, Wooyoungie, you’re going to wake the dead knocking like that,” she mutters in a pitiful attempt to distract herself from the pounding in her chest. Truly, she doesn’t know how Wooyoung handles meeting new people with so much ease. She could never.

“It’s them! I got it!” A voice says from inside the room, one that unmistakably belongs to Seungkwan, calls out. There’s a few seconds of hurried footsteps before the door is thrown open, revealing the beaming main vocalist of SEVENTEEN.

“Hello,” Wooyoung and Juliet say in unison, bowing to their senior.

“Oh, there’s no need for that!” Seungkwan says kindly, inviting them into the room. Juliet sticks close to her member as various staff members crane their necks to observe the newcomers, hoping that hiding behind Wooyoung will make her less visible to everyone. Thankfully, the staff quickly turns back to their work, paying them no further attention as the trio move further into the waiting room.

Juliet feels like her ears are on fire, barely registering Wooyoung explain to Seungkwan that he didn’t have time to bring the others. Then she realises who Seungkwan is leading them to, and her heart drops.

Is it too late to run away?

Apparently not, as Wooyoung seems to have noticed her slowing footsteps and proceeds to gently pull her along by the sleeve of her oversized hoodie. She wonders where the nearest hole to bury herself in is when Seungkwan calls out to two of his members, and she’s sure her cheeks are bright red when Vernon and Chan look up at the approaching trio.

“Look who I brought,” Seungkwan sings as the two ATEEZ members murmur greetings before introducing themselves.

Juliet thinks she’s about to pass out when Chan gets up and offers his seat to her. “No, no, you don’t have to,” she says shyly, frantically waving her hands, “we won’t be staying long anyways.”

“It’s okay,” he murmurs, “there are spare chairs right there.”

She feels a small nudge on her other side, turning her head in that direction to find Wooyoung wriggling his brows at her. Utterly mortified, she looks away from her member to thank Chan profusely instead, before hesitantly sitting in the chair he was occupying just a minute ago.

Is it just her, or is the room getting unbearably hot? Taking a deep breath, she removes her coat and drapes it over the back of the chair while Chan drags over two more chairs for him and Wooyoung.

“Are you okay?” Vernon asks worriedly from beside her, noting her red cheeks and ears. “I can turn down the heat, if you want.”

“Oh, no. I’m good, thank you,” Juliet replies sheepishly, wringing her fingers together nervously. “I just turn red really easily when embarrassed... because... this is... kinda awkward.”

He laughs good-naturedly. “We don’t bite,” he assures, “congratulations on your award, by the way.”

“Thank you, you too. We loved your performance,” she says genuinely. “We were all jamming out back there.”

“Ah, I wish we were there to see yours. We were preparing for ours during it so I only caught snippets of it. You were also the one giving the speech in English earlier, right?”

“Yeah, I’m from Australia so I usually take care of the English speeches.”

“Explains the accent.”

“I get that a lot,” Juliet says wryly, eliciting chuckles from the both of them.

“Yah, are you two excluding us because we can’t speak English?”

“Yeah!” Wooyoung chimes in in support of Seungkwan, “what were you two talking about?”

Juliet cocks a brow at him. “Are you sure you want to know?”

To her delight, Vernon plays along. “What if we tell you that we’ve been gossiping about you three the entire time?”

“What’s this about gossip I hear?” Jeonghan cheekily butts in, appearing in the space between Juliet and Wooyoung. She squeaks from surprise, and looks up to find him already grinning down at her. “Hi.”

“H-hello, Jeonghan-sunbaenim.”

Seungkwan bats him away. “Hyung! You’re scaring the poor girl. Also, this zone is for maknaes only, shoo shoo!”

Juliet smiles, the scene in front of her reminding her of ATEEZ’s sibling-like dynamic. Jeonghan’s presence lessens the awkward energy even more, and soon she can feel the tenseness dissipate from her body, starting to genuinely relax as she engages with the others. Sadly, their animated conversation only lasts for a couple more minutes when Wooyoung gets a message from Jongho asking for his whereabouts and if he’s seen Juliet.

“Oops, I think they’re looking for us,” he tells her, sounding completely unapologetic (though she can’t really blame him this time). “We should probably go.”

Juliet agrees, watching in amusement when Seungkwan asks for Wooyoung’s number because this is probably the most starstruck she’s ever seen Wooyoung look.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He rejoices on the way back to their dressing room. “I got Seungkwannie-hyung’s number, and you got to meet the others! You had fun!”

“Okay, I’ll admit that it was pretty f—”

Juliet suddenly stops cold, cutting herself off with a loud gasp as her hands fly up to cover her mouth from shock.

Wooyoung’s eyes widen in alarm as his head whips around frantically. “What? What’s wrong? What did you see?”

“I... I think I left my coat in their room. I put it on the back of the chair and... forgot to take it when we left.”

He blinks at her owlishly while her words sink in. Then he starts cackling.

“Stop! This isn’t funny!” Juliet wails. “What do I do?”

“What do you mean? Go back and grab it, of course!”

“Can’t you do it for me?” she pleads, giving him her best puppy eyes.

Wooyoung scoffs. “No way. That’d be rude. I’ll wait for you here while you go get it.”

“You’re actually the worst,” she groans, though they both know she doesn’t mean it.

He pats her on the back. “You’ll thank me sometime in the future.”

Juliet frowns at his cryptic tone before heading back to SEVENTEEN’s room with an exaggerated sigh that she made sure Wooyoung heard. The humiliation is already starting to build in her gut, creating a churning feeling in her stomach. Talk about leaving a questionable impression, she thinks dejectedly. Must she always be so forgetful?

“Juliet-ssi?”

Something within her crumbles like a tower built from toothpicks when she glances up to find herself face-to-face with none other than Lee Chan.

“I—um... you left your coat,” he says quickly, not quite meeting her eyes as he hands her the garment.

Juliet accepts it hurriedly with a bow, hugging the coat to her chest tightly for some semblance of comfort. From what, she doesn’t know. Probably the sheer embarrassment. “Thank you, I was... on my way to go get it.”

“Right, I... I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah... okay... thank you again.”

The two of them exchange one final nod before turning away and speed-walking in opposite directions.

She’s definitely changing her name and moving to Mars. Juliet Baek? Never heard of her.

“What did they say?” Wooyoung asks curiously when Juliet approaches him. His bewilderment increases tenfold when the girl strides right past him with rushed steps instead of stopping.

He jogs to catch up with her, raising a hand to poke at her cheek. “Aw, why are you blushing again? What happened?” he presses on with a coo, obviously teasing the maknae.

“Oh, nothing. I’m just never gonna show my face in this industry ever again.”

a/n: on today’s episode of the boys not letting juliet breathe 💀💀💀💀 bro if this happened to me i’d google map the nearest cliff to fling myself off of 😭 10k awkward-acquaintances-to-lovers slowburn let’s go 😼😼 please leave feedback and chat with me!! as always thank you for reading and take care 💕

#scenarios.juliet #ateez 9th member #ateez ninth member #9th member of ateez #ateez oc #ateez addition #ateez imagines #ateez au #ateez female oc #ateez female addition #kpop oc #kpop addition #kpop female oc #kpop female addition #female idol oc #female idol addition #idol oc #idol addition #kpop imagines #idol imagines #idol au #kpop au