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wen-kexing-apologist · 8 months

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Taking Pause for Reflection- Part 1: Respectable Promiscuity and Only Friends

Well we are three marvelous episodes into Only Friends, and are already seeing the ways in which the narrative is making preparations to sow chaos in every single character’s life. By this point we have seen numerous examples of Boston fucking with Mew’s relationship, watched Top hook up with Boston, took note of Ray’s reliance on alcohol, his drinking and driving, and how he abandons his games with Sand the second he can play hero for Mew, and we’ve already unlocked Nick’s #hotgirlespionage era. In short, we are getting complex, messy, shitty, realistic, and three dimensional queer people on our screens.

As we all continue on our Only Friends journey, I think it is vitally important to look at the research that has been done on the subject of representations of queer people, and understand recurring themes in engagement with queer communities that I have personally seen being repeated in the reactions some people are having to the queer characters in Only Friends.

Disclaimer: I am a Westerner, writing this from a Western gay lens, with Western sources, and primarily targeting the Western BL audience with this essay. That said, I would love to hear other people’s, non Westerners especially, thoughts on the themes I will be discussing here.

Anyway…

On the Subject of the Acceptable Queer and Respectable Promiscuity

To make sure anyone who reads this is on the same page, I just want to define the term respectable promiscuity

Respectable: Decent or correct in behavior or character (Miriam-Webster)

Promiscuity: having or involving multiple sex partners: not restricted to one or few sex partners (Miriam-Webster)

Respectable Promiscuity as defined by Jody Ahlm, “captures the negotiations individuals engage in as they enact stigmatized sexual practices, manage sexual reputations, and give meaning to their sexual practices within a specific sociopolitical context.” (2017)

Or in my understanding, how people cope with and justify the sex they have that society may see as morally wrong. Because so much of our world has been captured by this idea that sex, especially non-monogamous sex, sex outside of wedlock, or queer sex is inherently wrong or sinful, it is far more likely that queer people will be accepted by society if they are at the very least perceived to be engaging in respectable sex (aka monogamous, moderated, and more vanilla sexual practices).

…According to this [sexual value system], sex that is ‘good’,’normal’, and ‘natural’ should ideally be heterosexual, marital, monogamous, reproductive, and non-commercial. It should be coupled, relational, within the same generation, and occur at home. It should not involve pornography, fetish objects, sex toys of any sort, or roles other than male and female. Any sex that violates these rules is ‘bad’, ‘abnormal’, or ‘unnatural’. Bad sex may be homosexual, unmarried, promiscuous, non-procreative, or commercial. It may be masturbatory or take place at orgies, may be casual, may cross generational lines, and may take place in ‘public’, or at least in the bushes or the baths. It may involve the use of pornography, fetish objects, sex toys, or unusual roles. (Rubin, 1984)

Late last week I posted a whole essay on cruising culture in the queer community, and the possibility that Boston is a physical manifestation of historical queer cultural practices (a theme that I see continuing in Ep 3 simply with the kind of car that he drives). As part of that I talked about how the combination of the AIDS epidemic and the creation of mobile apps like Grindr have greatly contributed to the reduction in cruising culture, something similar can be said of the creation of respectable promiscuity: “The stigma of promiscuity in gay male culture has roots in the respectability politics of internal responses to AIDS, as well as homophobic responses from outside the community, and continues to haunt discourses of gay male sexuality.” (Ahlm, 2017)

I think a lot about media and media influence on personal beliefs and perceptions, after all media is political. There is a reason that when I think about and talk about media, I am in some capacity thinking about who the audience is and who a film was made for. How many queer films were truly made for queer people? I mean, seriously, think about how many movies and television shows over the past few decades that either were about or included queer people ended in tragedy. Those films aren’t meant for us, they are meant to show heterosexual people the struggles of being queer. We are meant to be shown suffering so that heterosexual people may, hopefully, learn to have some sympathy for queer people. Brokeback Mountain, for example, wasn’t made for queer people, if it was the promotional material would not have straight-baited the audience, if it was we would not have had to watch Jack Twist get beaten to death for being a faggot.

Historical queer activism was fighting for far far more than just marriage equality, but over time marriage equality has become the most popularized and pervasive queer civil rights fight. Now the repeated theme we hear over and over again, a message that a lot of the BLs and QLs are pushing, is marriage equality. We see it in Not Me, Moonlight Chicken, Cutie Pie, The Wedding Planner, Love in the Air, GAP, etc. etc. as a result, if we see sex in a show, we see generally pure, and if not pure certainly monogamous sex in most BLs. While a production company like GMMTV may have some of their talent switch gay pairings (looking at you Mark Pakin, Fluke Pusit, and pre-Khao era First) once they find a pairing that is popular and profitable to them, they rarely split them up across their other shows but especially not within the same show. Truly, we have seen the main pairs mix and matching in shows how many times? Two? Three? Off the top of my head I can only think of…

Earth with Papang and Mix with First in Moonlight Chicken

*gestures vaguely at all of Only Friends*

All of this to say:

In the past two decades, marriage equality has been pushed to the front of LGBT organizing and with it the imperative of appearing ‘‘just like them(heterosexuals),’’ through sexual moderation, monogamy and the disavowal of deviant sexual subcultures. This assimilationist discourse is the foundation of homonormativity and the current politics of respectability in LGBT communities…‘‘Homonormativity’’ is a term Lisa Duggan (2003) uses to describe the assimilationist politics of the contemporary gay and lesbian movement that emphasizes individualism and sexual restraint. (Ahlm, 2017)

Which is a long-winded way of saying that in pushing for traditionally heterosexual practices, and general societal acceptance, representations of queer people have had to be pared down to seem less sexually liberated than our community may actually be (and just look at the way the aspects of queer culture like drag and like…just existing as a trans person are being increasingly associated with sex, sexual deviancy, and then warped in to pedophilia and sex crime narratives in order to turn society at large against us to make it easier to discriminate and eliminate us).

I am not sure how marriage equality was argued in other countries, but I do know that Obergefell v. Hodges, which granted marriage equality in the United States, was argued on the basis of privacy (and is also why people are fucking terrified at the reversal of Roe v. Wade, because that was also successfully won initially on the argument of privacy and was used as a precedent to win future cases like Obergefell). Which means that in arguing for gay marriage to be legally recognized, in order to get the rights that are afforded to us through marriage, we had to shift queer culture in to the spaces and definitions of privacy, rather than the public spaces that were foundational to historical queer culture.

As the Lawrence ruling and the LGBT movement’s focus on marriage equality suggest, mainstream acceptance of gays and lesbians has thus far hinged on the sanctity of domestic privacy and the legitimacy of monogamous relationships. The success of this political strategy has brought about a dramatic shift in public opinion and legal recognition for same-sex couples in the USA, culminating in the Obergefell v. Hodges (2015) Supreme Court decision that extended marriage rights to same-sex couples throughout the country. This acceptance, though, is conditioned on creating a public image of group maturation where being gay is no longer associated with a sexual culture of promiscuity, bathhouses, outdoor cruising areas, and porn theatres. Language of sexual autonomy or sexual freedom has been replaced with the conventional wisdom that ‘‘what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business.’’(Ahlm, 2017)

TL;DR: Homophobia and the AIDS epidemic contributed to a decrease in historical queer cultural practices of public and semi-public, non-monogamous sex practices and the push for rights like marriage equality further contributed to the queer community being pushed towards privacy about their sex lives, resulting in representation of queer culture shifting to the image of the monogamous, sexually moderated, non-kinky homosexual.

Homonormativity, like heteronormativity, privileges whiteness. Homonormativity produces a systemic policing of sexuality and gender, in part through a politics of representation that erases queers of color, poor and working-class queers, and gender non-conforming queers. Guided by an ‘‘ethics of sexual shame’’ (Warner, 2000) the contemporary LGBT movement distances itself from sexual deviants, and more generally from sex itself (Duggan, 2003; Robinson, 2005; Rubin, 1993). (Ahlm, 2017)

A huge part of what got me hooked on Asian BL was seeing representations of queer people that were not just white men with power. Getting to watch two people navigate the political nature of their queerness in conjunction with their socioeconomic status, seeing just the most casual inclusion of trans women (something that like never happens in Western media). Part of what got me so obsessed with KinnPorsche as my first Thai BL was the existence of Yok, who has 0% of a plot about being trans and 100% of a plot around being a surrogate mother to Porsche and just a generally massive party girl. A reason why I like shows like Bed Friend and The Warp Effect so much is because they actually include kink in their shows. (Even though Bed Friend only really does it once with the pet play in Ep. 6 still with monogamous sex, and Jojo can only get away with heavy kink focus in TWE through a heterosexual couple.)

Finding BL gave me ways to see a lot of different flavors of queers, different dynamics between queers, while still being made to cater primarily towards heterosexual audiences. How many queer romances exist in the West? Big Eden (my beloved), two Christmas movies and the butchered corpse of Red, White, and Royal Blue? [do not come for me here, I know there are more, I have a whole syllabus from @bengiyo that has more than that on it, my point is mostly looking at how popular and increasingly, rapidly abundant and easily accessible gay romance is in BLs compared to how popular abundant gay romance is the West]. I loved Gay OK Bangkok because it gave accurate and honest depictions of three-dimensional queer characters, not two-dimensional, spoon-fed perfect gay men. I loved The Eclipse because it gave me extremely morally gray, queer characters. I loved 3 Will Be Free for both the representations of polyamory, and also for the humanity that Jojo allowed Mae to have.

TL;DR Current LGBTQ+ political movements have started shifting away from highlighting sexual liberation as an aspect of queer culture, in order to make ourselves more palatable to the overarching heterosexual society. This bleeds through in to the kinds of media that exist, the types of queer people portrayed within that media, as well as how often gay sex is shown, the type of gay sex shown, and the number of gay sex partners depicted. (Read: generally infrequently, generally vanilla, generally one).

How Respectable Promiscuity Ties in to Only Friends

IT DOESN’T! Jojo, Ninew, Den, and the rest of the team are not interested in creating a story that takes audience perceptions of respectable promiscuity into consideration. All the boys are thirsty, all the boys are fucking, Boston is promiscuous as hell, Top is (potentially) a slut (or at least a former slut), Sand has been in multiple relationships and has had multiple one-night stand sexual partners (no repeats). Mew is maybe not as virginal as he has led us to believe. Every time any gay boy is standing next to another gay boy that they didn’t know like a week before, a third gay person is wiggling their eyebrows like “oh how do you two know each other?” (aka, you fucked?) See: Nick to Boston and Top, Sand to Boston and Nick, Yo to Ray and Sand, Mew to Ray and Sand.

Sex has been and will continue to be abundant in this show. Jojo himself said “[Sex] is coming every episode…I’m screaming for Prince but I love gay slut too. No matter slut or good person they should be equally represented”

There have been no allusions to the contrary. Jojo has presented this as a bacchanal from the beginning. The pilot trailer has multiple sex and/or make out sessions, indications of cheating, First with a goddamn bat, pills, screaming, and crying.

The actual promotional trailer had: multiple sex and/or make out sessions, indications of cheating, First raining destruction down upon some glassware, pills, screaming, and crying.

The interviews with the cast members about why we should watch Only Friends had Neo saying Boston was an asshole, and you should watch Only Friends because it’s hot. In those same interviews Force said he was looking forward to everyone hating him. The playlist that Jojo made ages ago for this show has so many songs about sex, drugs, being cheated on, and breaking up. Jojo tweeted months ago that he had a meeting with the GMMTV office and he had permission to do whatever he wanted. Jojo and co have never once pulled the wool over our eyes as for what to expect from the physical intimacy in this show. We have been promised a sex fest, and we are getting a sex fest. We have been promised some form of a cheating plot line, and we are getting some form of a cheating plot line. We have been promised substance use issues, and we are getting substance use issues.

Yet on tumblr I am seeing discomfort and as a result, alteration of character motivation and action, around behaviors these characters exhibit that result in sex.

...Western cultures generally consider sex to be a dangerous, destructive, negative force (Weeks, 1981, p. 22). Most Christian tradition, following Paul, holds that sex is inherently sinful. It may be redeemed if performed within marriage for procreative purposes and if the pleasurable aspects are not enjoyed too much. In turn, this idea rests on the assumption that genitalia are an intrinsically inferior part of the body, much lower and less holy than the mind, the ‘soul’, the ‘heart’...Such notions have by now acquired a life of their own and no longer depend solely on religion for their perseverance.

This culture always treats sex with suspicion. It construes and judges almost any sexual practice in terms of its worst possible expression. Sex is presumed guilty until proven innocent. Virtually all erotic behavior is considered bad unless a specific reason to exempt it has been established. The most acceptable excuses are marriage, reproduction, and love. Sometimes scientific curiosity, aesthetic experience, or a long-term intimate relationship may serve. (Rubin, 1984)

Boston is not a terrible person for cruising for sex, Boston is not a terrible person for being a slut, Boston is not a terrible person for not wanting to deepen his relationship with Nick beyond just having sex with him. What does make Boston kinda shitty is the fact that he manipulates people to get what he wants, strings Nick’s feelings along, and uses captured images and films of his friends and uses that to call their moral character into question.

Nick is not pure of heart and dumb of ass for enjoying sex with Boston or for wanting to define his relationship to Boston. Subjectively, his actions for acquiring sex with Boston the first time (aka adding his photo to Boston’s phone) is a gay wrong we support for the chaos, objectively that is a massive invasion of privacy the likes of which rival Boston holding on to photos and videos of Ray and Mew together for two years. Subjectively, it is a power play from Nick to have wiretapped Boston’s car to catch him hooking up with another person and I am excited for Boston to potentially see some consequences as a result of this. Objectively this is once again a massive invasion of privacy, and it is entirely possible there will be a lot of fallout as a result of the evidence Nick just acquired, despite the fact that objectively Top and Boston did nothing wrong.

Boston never committed to monogamy, and Top and Mew never officially defined their relationship as boyfriends (yes, I know Top calls Mew his boyfriend at the bar, but he is saying that to someone he wants to stop hitting on him) and we have seen no conversations around whether or not they are exclusive. Is it maybe kinda shitty that Top fucked Boston this far in to trying to become Mew’s boyfriend? Probably. But Top is not an inherently terrible person for having sex with Boston, nor is he an unwilling or inactive participant being pressured into having a second round with Boston (he even initiates the kiss).

On the opposite end, Mew is not perfect or immune from doing or causing harm in the past, present, or future just because he is withholding sex from Top. Mew isn’t dumb or naive, he doesn’t need protecting, he knows what game he might be in, and he is playing it to the best of his ability. Jojo and co are incredibly talented at writing complex characters, the fact that Mew is possibly a virgin, the fact that Mew is aware that sex for him means something deeper than sex might mean for Boston does not mean Mew should be placed on a pedestal of purity.

Much like I think Boston is a physical manifestation of older queer culture, I think Mew may be a physical manifestation of more current beliefs around queer people:

As a result of the sex conflicts of the last decade, some behavior near the border is inching across it. Unmarried couples living together, masturbation, and some forms of homosexuality are moving in the direction of respectability (see Figure 9.2). Most homosexuality is still on the bad side of the line. But if it is coupled and monogamous, then society is beginning to recognize that it includes the full range of human interaction. (Rubin, 1984)

Mew is absolutely playing games with Top, he has said that himself, about holding out long enough to see if Top genuinely cares about him rather than just wants a virgin to conquer. But he has also stated that he knows that if he has sex with Top that he will become obsessed. He wants to know Top, and care about Top as a person, and know that Top cares about him as a person before he will have sex. Everyone around Mew is obsessed with his sex life, desperate for him to lose his virginity, desperate for him to join them on the other side of the line. So many of the other queer characters are trying to publicize Mew’s gay sex life, (including Top who publicly asked him to be his boyfriend), while Mew desperately tries to maintain the depiction of purity that his friends think he is. Which is to say, where Boston is cruising for casual sex, and frequently engaging in public sex, Mew is maintaining respectability and looking for long-term and intimate private sex.

(Also a tangential thought, but I don’t remember Ray saying anything about Mew’s need to lose his virginity, I think that has really only been Boston, Cheum, Yo in part, and even Top have all had discussions around Mew’s virginity or need to have his first sexual encounter).

Conclusion

I want to end on this quote:

Most people find it difficult to grasp that whatever they like to do sexually will be thoroughly repulsive to someone else, and that whatever repels them sexually will be the most treasured delight of someone, somewhere. One need not like or perform a particular sex act in order to recognize that someone else will, and that this difference does not indicate a lack of good taste, mental health, or intelligence in either party. Most people mistake their sexual preferences for a universal system that will or should work for everyone. (Rubin, 1984)

I hope as we proceed through this story, and more characters fuck, get fucked, and fuck up that we are able to interact with the source material and connect with the characters as they are presented on screen, not with what we have shaped them to be in our heads. I hope we are able to separate from the mindset of respectable promiscuity, and refrain from placing false perceptions of purity or morality to characters who do or do not uphold heterosexual society’s understanding of what a good homosexual is supposed to be. Only Friends has never lied to us, the characters might have, the way their dynamics play out might subvert our expectations, but the subject matter, the level of heat, the commitment of gay wrongs is what this show was always going to be. I don’t know about y’all but I am here to sit back, watch my BL boys commit as many gay wrongs as possible within 12 episodes, and write overly academic pieces on sex, sexuality, and queerness in Only Friends for the bit.

Stay tuned for Part 2 where I discuss racism and the commodification of queer men of color.

Sources

Ahlm, Jody (2017) Respectable promiscuity: Digital cruising in an era of queer liberalism, Sexualities, DOI: 10.1177/1363460716665783

Chong-suk Han (2007) They Don't Want To Cruise Your Type: Gay

Men of Color and the Racial Politics of Exclusion, Social Identities, 13:1, 51-67, DOI:

10.1080/13504630601163379

Rubin, Gayle (1984) The Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality- Chapter 9: The Sex Wars.

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank @bengiyo, @emotionallychargedtowel, @lurkingshan, @so-much-yet-to-learn, and @waitmyturtles for reading through this post, adding your thoughts, and helping with edits! Y'all are the best

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i-got-the-feels · 7 months

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Only Friends + Taylor Swift Songs

@liyazaki I blame you for the Taylor swift x OFTS brain rot

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heretherebedork · 9 months

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So. Let's talk about virginity, sex, the pressure to both have sex and not have sex and what it means and what it doesn't mean and what desirability can mean to people.

Now, the first note on this is that this is gonna come from (my best version of) a tempered Western perspective. I am full on American and I do not know the details or in and outs of Thailand's relationship with virginity versus sex, particularly in the queer landscape. I, frankly, barely know that in Western terms. So this analysis is just me doing my best to use what the show has given me in order to discuss the idea of Mew's virginity in the series, why it matters to so many people and why it is honestly shaping a lot of the conflicts in this series.

Because literally the first scene we from the entire friend group is Boston claiming he was trying to help Mew get sex and Mew exasperatedly asking him to stop caring about that.

But it's obvious that everyone cares. And we see that again and again. Everyone seems to care that Mew is a virgin and wants that to change for him more than Mew himself down. And this is just... often, frankly, true. There is no one more bothered by someone else's virginity than someone who doesn't have theirs.

It's Boston who calls him a sweet virgin as a deterrent while To takes it as a challenge but the focus is still on that virginity and the mean of that virginity. That it means he won't be a know it all or pushy and he won't be 'like the others' (in this case like Boston) and that Top wants that as a change of pace.

But Boston is sitting right there talking to someone he fucked and hearing that from him is not what he wants to hear. Boston is very pleased to be a slut and I actually think that Top basically saying 'you're boring because you have lots of sex' is the worst insult Boston can hear and might have really started a lot of his upset we see between him and Top.

It's because Top took a part of their identity that they share, part of the reason that Boston pulled him into the group in the first place, and turned it into an insult.

And that goes back to virginity versus promiscuity that adds weight. Top is interested in Mew because he's a virgin, he's sweet, he's not going to be fierce, he's not going to be like Boston who is fierce and knows what he wants and is exceedingly comfortable with his own sexuality and specifically sex.

Because as we see, Mew is also comfortable with his sexuality. He just expresses it differently than Boston and Top do. And that's also just so important to me. Honestly,

Mew owns his sexuality and his virginity. He is not set on changing anything until he knows it is exactly what he wants and doesn't want. Top said he was going to be sweet and, frankly, he turned out just as fierce just in a different way.

(The comparison to Boston, though, the instant connection between the friends and how much they are going to hurt each other because they are constantly being compared by the world and by themselves because they have placed importance on these things and just Oh Man. The weight of Mew's virginity on everyone else and how Boston sleeps with everyone but discourages Top from going after Mew too seriously and how Ray's sex habit is obviously part of his own struggles with feeling like a burden while Boston seems to just like sex and how there's absolutely nothing wrong with any of these approaches in their own way... Ray might be fucked up but it's not because he's fucking.)

A change of pace can be something welcome you never expected and that's why Top is going to be destroyed by Mew. Because Mew, and his virginity, represent something new to him. Something different. Something he doesn't know how to handle or how to see.

I think that a big part of Boston's issue here is feeling like he is being judged based on Mew's virginity and Top's interest in that. Boston craves the feeling of desirability and thrives off it (as we've seen and continue to see) and having Top, someone he has fucked and enjoyed, express that a virgin is more desirable than he is was a blow to him and his ego and his comfort and his own view of himself.

Because when virginity is upheld rather than just something to lose (which is all Boston wants it to be, something that Mew loses) it becomes a virtue rather than something to be changed.

Yes, Top still wants to sleep with Mew. But suddenly he's looking for more.

Boston's relationship with Mew's virginity is fascinating to me. Because he is truly obsessed with Mew losing it but also with this idea that it can't be a good thing. Boston is so focused on Mew losing his virginity that when faced with the idea that Top is interested in more... he loses it a bit. Boston values himself for being sexually desirable and desired. He wants to fuck and be fucked. And to be told that Top, who is supposed to be liked him, wants something different?

It's a threat.

Boston is trying to act like he knows Top better than Top knows himself and he is pushing this idea because his own identity is deeply wrapped in casual sex for the sake of casual sex and not being interested in dating and seeing Top not just express interested in Mew specifically because he's a virgin but then to also start talking about dating him? That is a direct threat to that part of how Boston values himself, of how Boston finds his own worth.

If being good at sex is less desirable than being a virgin than what happens to Boston? If the people having the same casual sex as him are starting to think about dating, what does that say about him when he isn't?

Top is doing what he's doing because he wants to do it but, to Boston, it is a judgement against him.

I am actually very interested in this because while it is at least partially jealousy, I think there's more to this.

It's about virginity and promiscuity and how both get judged depending on who's judging and what matters to that person and Boston is suddenly seeing himself being judged in a place where he's always been comfortable.

Boston's safe and comfortable place is this club and the people he sleeps with and Top's interest in Mew is a blow not just to his ego but also a sudden change to his own self-image. He is not the desirable one despite the fact that he has shaped himself to be desirable.

Okay, I don't even know where this went.

But anyway I love how the show gave us a virgin who knows exactly what he wants (which ain't it yet) and different aspects to relying on your sexuality and I didn't talk about Ray much in this because he didn't have a lot to say directly about Mew's virginity or Top's desire of it which was my focus but Ray is using sex as an alternative to therapy and it ain't working out so hot so far for him but that's just another story.

... Anyway. Only Friends is definitely interesting and I am absolutely wondering where it goes from here because I can already see how much Boston will hurt Nick because a relationship just absolutely is not even on his radar at this point and, in fact, is entirely off his radar because it goes against all the aspects of himself he currently finds value in.

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evaristelonely · 9 months

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Top and Ray snarling over Mew and being ready to rip him to shreds, but ending up fucking different guys the same evening, is the best thing about the trailer

#only friends the series #gmmtv #thai ql #top x mew #top x boston #ray x mew #ray x sand

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clara-maybe-ontheroad · 9 months

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Random thoughts about Top/Mew/Boston/Nick (Only Friends ep 1)

I rewatched the first episode of Only Friends and made a dedicated post to my thoughts about Ray and Sand so I thought I'd make one post per pairing for the other 4 dudes but the truth is that they're a lot more intertwined and I can't really talk about Boston without talking about Top and Mew so here we go, sorry for the mess :

Top seeing the white wristband of "not interested in a relationship" to mean "I can hit on you" is such a typical sleazy creepy douche bag move and I love how it establishes his character

Still sad we didn't get Boston having a threesome with this guy and his boyfriend, but also he immediately projects his frustration of not having sex on Mew by talking about his virginity, like he's incapable of not thinking things through his own perspective

Boston's dad made his money in massage parlours, that's fine but given the slut that is his son I wonder if that played a role ? Is there more than one character with daddy issues ?

Boston thinking about bringing Top on board "for his designer skills" by saying "his work was so good that I want to use his services again"... We all know what services you're talking about Ton lol

Boston approaches his interaction with Nick in a completely not flirty way, he clearly wasn't thinking about him that way until Nick said the same age and started giving non verbal cues that he was interested

Nick and Boston's first interaction ending with Nick saying "Happy to be of service"... Again we know you'd like to imply other forms of service haha

Top to Mew's "I had no idea a business administration student could be so smart" is such an annoying form of "you're not like other girls", and Mew is like " yeah I'm not like other girls, I, like, read books". Mew come on don't fall for that

Top's implication that he's tired of sleeping of experienced ones because them knowing what they want makes them feisty and so sleeping with a virgin will be good because they're docile is even worse when you hear it for the second time

The way that it doesn't sound like Boston is just saying that Mew has different priorities but he goes out of his way to talk about Mew like he's a child and looking down on him is soooo annoying. Is Boston actually a friend to any of his friends ?

Mew's look of total calm when Top tells him he came there for sex reasons is not the look of a lamb who let a wolf in the sheepfold.

Top continues to perform his Alpha male routine in control of the situation after that and clearly he understands what's happening better than Mew but Mew doesn't play up the baby bird doe eyes look for him either and takes off his own pants

Still so in love with how clearly Mew communicates his boundaries in this situation, he's unashamed to be himself and say who he is, what he wants and doesn't want, what he's willing to do and not do. Master class in "your virgin/inexperienced character doesn't need to be shy and helpless when facing the confident and experienced manly man"

It's been said before but damn the music and cinematography of the Boston & Drake's unnamed character sex scene is so good though it does emphasize how much Boston use people as giant fleshlight

The next scene opening on Top's lips must mean something. That him not being frustrated at not getting sex is just what he says but not think ? That Top knows his mouth and words are powerful ? That Top and Mew's relationship is starting to build on the basis of words and talking and not bodies and sexual contact by contrast with Boston ? Other theory ?

Mew smiling as Top spoons with him can feel just cute but also looks like Mew is perfectly in control of the situation

In general every question Top asks Mew in the bookstore feels like he's looking for cracks to get in and opportunities to slither in, not out of any actual interest to get to know Mew or connect with him

The fact that Nick doesn't even give a fake reason for giving Boston a discount, he just looks at him like "I don't know man, I'm just very gay" and Boston accepts and appreciates that

Nick might not be as experienced as random hook ups as Boston but the nude move in his phone was bold and definitely something I expect from someone who's already dabbled in the scene haha

Nick's face while he drags Boston to the back of the store is truly one of a kid who can't believe how lucky they are with their Christmas gifts

the MOANS in Boston and Nick sex scene, those are top notch

The speed at which Top becomes omnipresent in Mew's life is terrifying, like they just met and two days later he's bringing him his books to class ?

Ray's look of jealousy towards TopMew is of the "nooo I'm sad I love him it hurts" kind while Boston is firmly of the "um wtf man" kind and I relate to both

Interesting that Mew is the one that brings up his virginity again when Chueam says he has a boyfriend now, like he has to make it clear they haven't had sex when that's not even the conversation ? Interesting

The way that Boston would be fine with Top just trying to manipulate Mew into sleeping with him and would actually prefer it to Top potentially not screwing over Mew ... thanks I hate it, Boston is the worst friend of the magic foursome confirmed

I saw a very good poll asking people's interpretation as to why Boston is so jealous when Top explains that they're over but that he's willing to date Mew, and my interpretation of it is that Boston's ego can not tolerate the hit of his body being seen as less desirable ; he doesn't know exactly what he wants from Top, maybe another time using his "service" but also just not being relegated and forgotten. His self worth is based in being The Most Fuckable TM

Top's confession is still so cringe I can not sit through it without skipping, I am usually physically so incapable of watching a scene only if it's a song

Once again no real conclusion to this post except I think they're almost all going to fuck, if not with each other's bodies, certainly with each other's minds. The only pairing I don't see any chance of happening is Boston x Mew, unless it's in a threesome with Top and even then, everything else is more likely.

#ofts random thoughts #forcebook #neomark #only friends the series #top x mew #top x boston #boston x nick #bl shows #thai bl #current watchlist

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respectthepetty · 8 months

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Honey, you've got a big storm coming

So nobody was going to tell me that thunder was used for dramatic effect at the end of episode three of Only Friends?!

Y'all know I mute my shows!

A storm was brewing the entire last segment, and we heard it approaching.

1 - Ray and Sand

Ray delivers the above line, then Sand looks at him like this

*crack of thunder*

2 - Top and Boston

Thunder keeps rolling as Top's phone dings to notify him that Boston has sent a text but music kicks in; then, when the elevator closes on Top going to see Boston

*crack of thunder*

3 - Ray and Sand

Thunder rolls as we see Ray and Sand make out, but music kicks in; then Ray answers his phone and tells Mew he is on his way

*crack of thunder*

4 - Top and Boston

It's now pouring. The storm is here! And we hear the rain the entire time Boston is speaking to Top, but it's the moment below when we realize how strong this storm is

*loudest crack of thunder*

When it rains, it pours, so I wonder when the next storm will hit.

Stay dry out there. The weather seems unpredictable this season.

#only friends #I'm mad at y'all #mother nature was upset #a storm was brewing in episode three #and the thunder was used for dramatic effect #ray x sand #top x boston

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isbelevans · 9 months

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Honestly Top and Boston's relationship fascinates me so much the only time in the episode you really see Boston being affected by something is when Top is around Mew sure Boston is a slut (affectionate) but he seems actually in love with Top and I really wanna know why

#top x boston #only friends #only friends the series

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thedooristhebluecushion · 7 months

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Boys, say you’re sorry to Cheum.

Boston, Ray, Mew, Top, Nick & Sand: Sorry Cheum.

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #only friends cheum #only friends boston #only friends ray #only friends Mew #only friends nick #only friends sand #top x mew #top x boston #ray x sand #ray x mew #boston x nick

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multismileee · 7 months

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Ranking OF Characters + their relationship because I need to rant before I combust :)

Wow what an episode this past one was… down below I’m going to break down my personal feelings and thoughts for each character so enjoy I guess & feel free to lmk if you agree or disagree.

Mew: I have mixed feelings about him, there’s no better way to explain it. He’s entering his villain era which ngl I love for him, they need to stop messing with the nice ones and expect them to stay quiet and sane. However, I have a bad feeling about him going to deep in his revenge against Top and Ton, and losing himself. He’s actually such a mastermind, the way he gets revenge is so satisfying. I truly don’t think he loves Ray like that and instead he thinks well maybe he’s who I need to, because at least I know he’s in love with me. Which explains why he said “perhaps the one I should love is you.” I don’t blame Mew, I think he’s genuinely confused rn, especially since Top was his first relationship. I just hope he's not using Ray, and he actually wants to explore how that goes. I just have this weird feeling that Mew is smarter than he looks, and he is purposely giving off a naive look to get away with things. UPDATE: I just saw this tik tok about how Top shared his trauma about fire with Mew (I actually completely forgot about that) and that’s why Mew decided to burn the paper / memory… that would explain both of their expressions, I NEED AN INHALER, THESE THEORIES ARE TOO GOOD.

Top: FRICK THIS MAN. Deserves everything that’s coming his way fr (#1). I felt bad for him slightly but that’s only because I do think he was slowly becoming better because of Mew. However, if he was insecure about Mew and Ray, he should’ve just asked. Instead he let Boston (I’ll get to him soon) of all people talk him into believing that more happened that night. Then, sleeping with his bf’s best friend to ‘even the playing field’ was so disgusting. I give him like half kudos, actually more like 1/8 kudos for stopping Boston in the elevator (the bare fricking minimum but it’s a lot for him) but he should’ve just owned up to what he did and talked to Mew. Instead he had the nerve to be jealous of Mew and Ray, even going as far as to accuse Mew of sleeping with Ray EVEN AFTER he got revealed for cheating. I also hate the way he says stuff like “I will make you fall in love with me again” he always sounds so conceited and arrogant. I hope he realizes that Mew is the best thing to happen to him and grovels to his feet.

Boston: I’m in awe of how awful this man is, like just when I think there’s no way he can be worse, he proves me wrong. Deserves everything that’s coming to him fr (#2). (Side note: can we talk about how talented of an actor Neo is??? He’s so good at playing Ton!!! I think he is narcissistic because I don’t understand how he can be so oblivious or ig non-caring of everyone else’s feelings. Even when it was discovered that he slept with Top, he turned it all around and told Mew that without him, he wouldn’t have been able to get Top… THE ABSOLUTE NERVE OF THIS MAN. Mew was so real for kicking him into the pool and punching him, because he needs it beaten into him. I also find his character fascinating, I noticed a couple of times how he will purposely change his calculating expression to one that is drunk and oblivious to everything. There was the time they were at the bar and he calls Ray a burden (I need to make a whole new post if I wanted to rant how much I hate that they call him that), and again when they were celebrating Mew's birthday. I do think that some of this detachment and not caring stems from the fact that he wants to move to pursue his photography, so he thinks "why care, if I'm leaving it all behind"

Nick: He's another confusing character, I just don't know how to feel for him. I mean at first I felt bad for him because he genuinely likes Boston for whatever reason, but seriously the way he goes about EVERYTHING is so wrong. Firstly, his interest stems from him snooping in Ton's phone and then proceeding to j*rk off to him like... that's so messed up. Then he takes a photo of himself, and okay that leads to them sleeping together. No matter how much I dislike Boston, he did say from the beginning that he wasn't interested in a relationship, he made it clear. Therefore, really Nick didn't have any reason to do the things he did. THE TAPE????? That was so so messed up. He not only recorded him without his consent, he then shared that with Sand. I can't even feel bad for him anymore, he's just so delusional and lost, and I just want him to find someone else and realize there's better out there then Boston. I wanted him to stop trailing over Ton like a lost puppy. Also side note: the way he said "I'm nasty too" when talking to Top, okay Nick go off ig. I need him to have his "idc" era so Boston will be the one beginning for him instead.

Ray: I was literally defending Ray since the beginning (still kind of am) but honestly, I'm so disappointed. There's so much more to his character then what meets the eye. I firstly want to say this and get it out of the way, FRICK RAY'S FRIENDS... every single one of them. It was obvious from the beginning that he had drinking problems, and yet it doesn't seem like anyone has tried to talk to him, to help him realize he's struggling with alcoholism (I know Ray is an adult, but addiction is not always easy to see, if a friend of mine was obviously struggling with something, I would help however I can). And before anyone goes "But Mew was there.. blah blah" I will shut that down rn. I appreciate Mew being his emergency contact, I really do but the way he acts sometimes sounds condescending. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE CONVO IN THE BATHROOM ON MEW'S BIRTHDAY: Him saying "You're going to die before 30"???? How could you say that knowing he was/is su!c!dal. (Sorry I went on a tangent when I was supposed to be talking about Ray's characterization). Anyways, I feel like since he's never had a genuine friendship or someone who wants him not for his money, he latches onto Sand. (I know their "relationship" starts off of money but later it's more). Another reason I say this is because at Mew's birthday, he tells Sand "If you want money, sleep with me" which I think is from his insecurity that Sand doesn't actually want him, and that he would end up alone again. His mom is dead, she was never comforting or close to him. His dad (frick him) only cares about the car and didn't care that he was in hospital. (I'm still curious what he asked Sand to do). However, I think this shaped him to start taking advantage of Sand. Just like Boston, Ray did make it clear from the beginning that this was in no means a relationship so he's not technically in the wrong. It just sucks, because you can tell he is at least attracted (it actually runs deeper, I know it) and I truly think he only loves Mew as a friend, and because he was just so glad someone was there for him when he needed someone the most.

Sand: BEST CHARACTER OF THE WHOLE SHOW FR FR. He deserves the whole world, and I will defend him until the end, he can do no wrong. (Okay so it was wrong how he manipulated Ray into exposing Top and Ton but honestly, it needed to be done.) I love how he was just minding his own business, living life until Top made him angry.. Then he woke up and chose violence, causing everyone's dirty laundry to be aired. I really felt bad for him and Nick in the scene when they were hugging because they are literally two feathers of the same bird, they are in the exact same situation. I love him and I'm glad he knows his worth (I say this because in the preview of ep 8, he says "I'm not your rebound") IKTR SAND, YOU TELL HIM!!

Cheum: Girly needs more screen time fr :( They need to show more of her and April, I loved that they showed them communicating their issues. I also think it's hilarious how she tries to stop fights, like she screamed for Boston and Mew to stop fighting but didn't jump into the pool LMAO or when she sprayed everyone with water when Top came to see Mew at the hotel. I think she knew about Ray's feelings for Mew, or at least she found out at the party for sure. Either way, sometimes she needs to think before she says stuff, but I still love her anyways.

RELATIONSHIP RANKINGS

Ray + Sand -> even though Ray is on time out right now for the way he keeps hurting Sand, I still want them to be endgame. I truly think Sand brings out the best in Ray, and Ray understands Sand is a way that others don't. I do however want Sand to make Ray jealous so he will open his eyes and realize that Sand is the one for him. (Side note: I need the sad edits to stop, why does every freaking romance song fit them???) Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo and them >>>>> (that's literally their song, don't try to fight me).

Cheum + April -> cuties that haven't done anything wrong yet, and just love each other. I NEED MORE SCREEN TIME OF THEM THOUGH!!!

Ray + Rehab -> This would also be cute <3 I want this along with Sand and Ray, a throuple if you will.

Nick + self love -> he just needs to first learn his own worth before he can get into a relationship. I'm hoping the guy in the promo for next episode is an ex, and that they end up being good for each other. I do not want him with Boston, that's for sure.

Mew + therapy -> I feel like he's going to need some after dealing with Top and Boston, I hope he finds someone way way way better than Top.

Boston + detention center -> someone get this man and let him isolate to himself. Since he's so narcissistic, this shouldn't be too bad, he can listen to himself talk all day <3

Top + no one -> Since he thinks everyone wants him, I hope he ends up alone and realizes that he sucks, and how he treated everyone was not okay.

#only friends the series #ray x sand #top x mew #boston x nick #cheum x april #only friends spoilers #ray x mew #top x boston #spoilers ig #gmmtv

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