#THANKS FOR CHECKING IN IVE LITERALLY CRIED ON AND OFF ALL DAY ABOUT THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!

[pxrxmoore]

beth babes are you okay??? 😂😘😌

kara my darling 🫶 i’ve avtually never felt so fuckin deranged in my LIFE thanks for asking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#THANKS FOR CHECKING IN IVE LITERALLY CRIED ON AND OFF ALL DAY ABOUT THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!! #😌🫶 #🥰🥰💛 #karajaynetoday

[watchmegetobsessed]

VALERIE - Part IV. (Harry Styles)

hello loves!! thank you so much for the feedbacks on the previous part, i love to see your thoughts at reactions so please keep them coming for the upcoming parts as well! i was informed that the posts weren’t showing up under the hashtags bc i had an extrernal link to the spotify playlist, so that won’t be available in the next parts, but you’ll always be able to find it in the masterpost if you’d like to give it a listen! those were the songs i listened to while writing the story! now, i dont want to keep you up any longer, here is part 4, one of my personal favs, and im excitedly waiting for your feedbacks on the post! have a wonderful reading!

word count: 4.5k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Valerie is curiously watching her dad work on the portable bed they’ve brought over for the night, her little hands clutching onto Rosa’s shirt as she is telling you all about the list she has made for you. It’s not a long one, but you try to focus on every word she says, making sure you won’t mess anything up.

“I put an X behind the important ones,” she explains pointing at the paper and you nod, eyes roaming down on the few X’s on the list. “The other ones are just suggestions, things I thought you should know.

“Got it,” you nod again, biting into your bottom lip. Bath time, feeding, sleep time, everything is covered in the list and you’re happy she even mentioned the smallest details. Some things might be natural for her as she’s been doing it for months, but it’s your first time completely alone with a baby. You surely don’t want to mess this up, especially because you want her to trust you and let you look after Valerie more often. They deserve a break now and then.

Steven finishes the bed and backs out a few stuffed animals along with two blankets into it, making it look cozy and familiar for Val.

“But most importantly,” Rosa starts and you look her in the eyes. “Call us anytime if you need help or want us to take her home, and I mean it.”

“Not gonna happen,” you shake your head, earning a sigh from your sister.

“Y/N, I’m serious. We are thankful for the help, but it’s not your duty, alright? Just call us anytime, really.”

Nodding your head you flash a smile at her, knowing well nothing on Earth is gonna make you call them tonight. Okay, maybe there are some cases when you would call, but those are quite unlikely to happen.

She hands Valerie over who curiously eyes you before grabbing a handful of your shirt and making herself busy with the fabric.

“It’s gonna be fine. Have a great night, you deserve it,” you smile at them. Steven straightens up and curls an arm around Rosa’s waist as they watch Val in awe, clearly a little worried they are gonna spend an entire night without her, but you can tell they also can’t wait for some alone time.

“Alright, we should get going,” Rosa sighs and stepping closer she kisses Valerie’s head and then your cheek as well. “Have fun with your aunty! We’ll be back for you in the morning, Sweetie.”

She runs her hand over her little head and Valerie smiles at her happily, completely oblivious to what’s really happening. The joys of being just a baby!

Steven says goodbye to her as well and you all head to the door. 

“So, we’ll be here around eight, she is usually up by six. Do you want us to pick her up sooner?” Rosa asks standing at the front door.

“Sooner? I was about to tell you to sleep a little longer, you don’t have to come so early.”

“But we don’t want to take away your whole day, you need to rest too,” Steven explains, worry all over his face.

“Stop worrying about me, I’ll be fine. Just enjoy your night off! Come on, I’m throwing you guys out, time for the sleepover to start,” you tell them, shushing them out the door. 

It takes some time to finally get them to leave, but they eventually do. Then it’s just the two of you, alone for the first time.

“Ready for your first sleepover, Val?” you ask her, standing in the hallway of your apartment. She just stares back at you, saliva drooling from her mouth but even that looks cute on her. “Alright, let’s do this.”

You braced yourself for the worst. Thought about all the possibilities how the evening would go, but you hoped they wouldn't become reality. Unfortunately, baby Valerie had different plans for the two of you.

The first hour goes by fine. You feed her, have a little play time, reading her favorite book to her, but slowly, you notice her losing interest in anything and everything. Soon enough, you see her face distort into a grimace and a few moments later she starts crying and it’s straight downhill from there. 

Nothing can get her to stop. No food, no toy, absolutely nothing. You clown around, trying everything that pops into your mind that would calm her down, but it doesn’t seem like she is about to stop anytime soon. 

You start to panic. Rosa told you how fussy she is because of her teeth coming, but you didn’t think it would be this bad. When she’s been crying for an entire hour straight, for a split second, you think about calling Rosa. 

“No, not gonna do that,” you say, while Val is still screaming in your arms. “Valerie, what do you want? Tell me and I’ll give it to you, I promise! Just please stop crying!” you whine desperately, but, no surprise, no answer comes from the screaming babe in your arms, just more tears, puffy eyes and red cheeks from all the crying she’s been doing.

Trying to rock her into calmness you are moving around in the apartment when you hear your phone ringing. You instantly think it’s gonna be Rosa, wanting to check in on you, but how are you gonna answer the call when Valeries is screaming from the top of her lungs? She’ll come to pick her up straight away, no doubt about that.

Rushing into the kitchen you are relieved to see that it’s just Harry calling you.

“It’s not the best of times, Styles,” you sigh as you answer the call and put him on the speaker, leaving the phone on the countertop, so you have both your hands free for Valerie.

“Hey, I was just-- what the fuck is happening?” he asks hearing the deadly cries of Val through the line. “Is that Valerie?”

“It is! I’m looking after her so Rosa and Steven can celebrate their anniversary, but she just wouldn’t stop crying! I don’t know what to do!” 

You’re absolutely desperate. It’s so bad you can feel your throat closing up, nearing the edge of your patience, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks, but you tell yourself only one of you can cry at a time and Val has taken that spot quite some time ago, not even giving you a moment to let loose.

“Text me your address, I’m leaving now,” he orders and you snap your head towards the phone.

“What? No, Harry--”

“Just text me the damn address, Y/N!” he barks and the line cuts off right away. 

Your desperation pairs with shock now, not knowing what to think about this short, but quite eventful conversation you just had with him. It takes you a few moments to collect your thoughts, but you end up sending him your address. 

Nothing changes in the twenty minutes while you are waiting to hear anything from Harry following your text to him. Valerie keeps crying with three seconds of pauses when she takes a few deep breaths only to start screaming once again. Aside from the headache she is causing you, it’s becoming pretty impressive how long she’s been doing it. You probably would have fainted by now, but it seems like Valerie is running on an endless battery.

“You are really making it hard for me to be a cool aunt, Val,” you mumble, the baby still in your arms as the tears keep rolling down her face. Your light grey shirt is now soaking wet, both from her tears and your sweat from the anxiety she is giving you, mixed with some other things you choose to ignore where they came from.

The doorbell makes you jump, but Valerie doesn’t even bat an eye at the sound, she just keeps going.

“You need to teach me how to have this much energy,” you mumble under your breath as you walk over to the door. 

Opening it you find yourself staring up at Harry who is wearing a brown coat, dark jeans and a black hoodie. If you had to guess what he was doing on this weekend evening you would have said he was out with friends somewhere, picking up girls, but he surely doesn’t look like he was anywhere else than his home, the clothes are hanging messily on his frame, like he just threw them on in a rush.

His green eyes look straight at you at first before moving over to the crying child in your arms. You fully expect him to say something along the lines of “this is the kind of effect you have on others” comment, but it seems like he notices the fear and despair in your eyes and he keeps his mouth shut.

“I honestly have no idea what to do,” you choke out and the tears start flowing from your eyes as well, making Harry have to deal with now two crying human beings.

“Oh my, please don’t cry, I can’t take two crying women at once,” Harry begs as he steps inside and shuts the door behind him. Turning to face you he reaches for Valerie, you hand her over to him, hoping she would magically stop the crying, but she clearly couldn’t care less.

“Why, can you take one?” you ask with a bitter chuckle as you wipe your cheeks.

“Not really,” he admits, making you smile. “So what have you tried?” he asks as he starts swaying and rocking Valerie in hopes of getting her to stop, but not even Harry’s charm stands a chance with her right now. Deep down you’re happy you weren’t the reason she got so fussy and upset, would have been pretty awkward if she stopped the moment Harry took her into his arms. 

“Literally everything,” you huff, shoulders falling forward. “I went over the list Rosa gave me, tried everything, but she wouldn’t stop. She’s teething, but this is… It seems like there might be something else maybe?” you tell him worried that something serious might be behind her behavior. You really don’t want to call and bother Rosa, but you are nearing the point where you’ll give up and ask for help.

“Maybe she needs to be changed?” Harry suggests holding her up, giving her butt a sniff, but you roll your eyes at him.

“You don’t think that was one of the first things I did? She is as clean as she could be. Maybe I should just call Rosa,” you sigh in defeat reaching for your phone but Harry snaps at you.

“No! Don’t, we can figure this out. Steven has been so excited to have a night off, we can’t ruin this for them. Come on, we have to have the slightest parenting skills and solve this without them.”

Nodding you agree with him, but you’ve completely run out of ideas.

“So what do you suggest?”

You can see the gears turning in Harry’s head as he is trying to come up with a plan, but it’s not like either of you have any experience with babies. The idea of calling Rosa is starting to burn in the back of your head, fear of failing this challenge taking over your thoughts.

Then Harry looks at you with a look that screams that he has an idea. You’re just about to ask what came into his mind when all of a sudden he starts to sing.

“Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water, and I think of all the things what you’re doing and in my head I paint a picture…”

You instantly recognize Amy Whinehouse’s iconic song, the one that’s also behind Valerie’s name, you know that for sure. Rosa was obsessed with the song growing up, she would sing it on the way to school, in the shower or while making dinner. You weren’t surprised she chose this name for her first daughter.

What surprises you that Harry sings like a literal angel. He hits the notes perfectly, nailing the lines like not many can and you listen to him with parted lips, eyebrows raised. This was the last thing you expected from him, but then again, it’s not the first time Harry has surprised you through the years of knowing him.

Valerie stops for a moment, her hiccups shaking through her body as her tear-filled eyes look up to Harry, and you both think this is gonna be the moment when she finally calms down, but he doesn’t even reach the chorus before she starts crying again, a defeated sigh erupting from him.

“Maybe she wants it instrumental,” you suggest and Harry gives you one of those ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ looks as you leave to run down the hallway, right into your bedroom.

“How am I supposed to make it instru-- what the hell, Y/N?!” He gives you a weirded out look when you return with a guitar in your hands. “Since when do you play the guitar?” 

“Since like… eighth grade,” you tell him as you sit on the couch and holding the guitar on your lap you try to find the right accords. “I told you, you know nothing about me.”

Harry nods with a surprised but amazed look on his face as your fingers strum against the chords. It takes a few minutes but you figure it out and glancing up you give a questioning look to Harry.

“From the start?” you ask and he nods his head, continuously bouncing up and down to try to calm Val down.

You start playing the song and soon enough Harry joins you with the singing, the two of you perfectly nailing it even without any practice.

“Stop makin’ a fool out of me, why don’t you come on over, Valerie?”

Maybe it’s the guitar, maybe it’s the singing or maybe the fact that the song has her name in it, but by the time you reach the halfway point in the song Valerie’s crying slowly starts to fade. You instantly share a look with Harry, but don’t stop, fearing that she might start again if the music stops. 

Her tear soaked cheeks smooth out as she is not screaming anymore and you can actually see her irises finally, her long lashes are sticking together from the salty tears and you know it’s gonna take some time for her to regain her normal state, but at least the crying has stopped. 

“‘Cause since I’ve come on home, well, my body’s been a mess. And I’ve missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress…”

You tear your eyes off Valerie for a second, letting yourself wander over Harry’s features as he sings. He slightly furrows his eyebrows focusing on the lines, so his forehead has a few creases on it. His lips form the words so clearly and elegantly, you wonder how often he sings. Is it something he only does when he is on his own or he likes to perform as well? 

The only time when you heard him sing was at the bar when the two of you slayed the karaoke machine with that Avril Lavigne song. You were smashed by then, you remember that he had a nice voice but it was the last thing you paid attention to. Besides, he was kind of equally drunk as you, it was all for just fun, but now is a completely different situation. 

It’s no surprise Valerie finds his voice soothing, you’d probably stop whatever you were doing if you heard him sing. There are people with a good voice and then there are the ones that not just have a good voice but also that small something, that extra magic in them that makes you melt as their voice caress your ears. Harry is definitely the second case, for a moment you forget where you are or why he is there singing. It’s just his voice and the gentle strumming of your fingers on the chords. 

At the end of the song he starts repeating Valerie as the song slowly fades into nothing and you both stare at the little girl in his arms, clearly afraid she might start crying again. Unfortunately, your reservations become valid when you see the corners of her mouth curls down and you and Harry share a shocked look immediately.

“What else can you play?” he urges as Val whimpers in his arms, letting you know she does not appreciate that the singing has stopped. 

“Shit, shit! Um, something from ABBA?” you propose and Harry nods quickly, not even asking which song you know, so you take it as a sign that he probably knows all of them.

The first song that comes to your mind is Andante, Andante and you don’t hesitate to start playing again, just in time. Valerie was just about to start crying again, but as soon as the melody hit her little ears she calmed down and listened to it with tired looking eyes.

“Take it easy with me, please. Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze…” Harry sings the words and you can’t hold a smile back as he, once again, hits the notes just perfectly without missing a beat.

You’re convinced there’s not one person on Earth who has never heard a single Abba song, most of the population knows them by heart, but somehow you couldn’t really imagine Harry to be a person who knows the lyrics to the songs as well. But he does and sings it without messing it up even just once. It’s hard to imagine a younger version of Harry singing ABBA songs when they come on the radio, but the more you think about it the more the picture paints itself in your mind.

Valerie lays her head to Harry’s chest, stuffing her thumb into her mouth as she listens to the performance. She is probably enjoying the vibrance of his voice shaking through his chest and maybe this is what brings her the peace she’s been looking for all this time. Your heart skips a beat at the sight of them.

Harry glances at you, eyes so soft you melt under his gaze. However nerve wrecking it was to have Valerie scream for hours, she is still the cutest little thing ever as she rests her head on his chest, her long blinks giving it away she has definitely lost most of her energy. 

You don’t dare to stop the singing and playing. When you near the end of a song you quickly think of something else and whisper it over to Harry, who then gives his feedback on it with either a nod or a shake of his head. Most of the time he knows the songs you suggest so the show continues without a stop. 

Half an hour passes by when you see her eyes slowly closing. You still don’t stop though, only when Harry tries to listen to her breathing and he realizes that it was completely slowed down. She is out.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out quietly, your fingers feeling numb from the playing. You haven’t had a guitar in your hands for this long in a while, probably for years. Harry shares your relief, his throat has completely dried out and he is happy to finally breathe evenly, not just sneak a few breaths in between lines. 

“And now what?” he mouths as he is still gently swaying around with the sleeping Valerie in his arms. You put the guitar aside and check if she is for real asleep. Her long lashes are spread out on her puffy cheeks, gently snoozing into Harry’s chest as if she weren’t screaming for dear life just an hour ago. 

“Let’s put her down,” you whisper and nod at him to follow you. 

Reaching your bedroom you only switch your bedside lamp on so the light doesn’t wake her up. Pushing the stuffed animals to the side you grab the blankets and let Harry do the critical job. Leaning down he oh so slowly starts to pull her away from his chest, careful not to move too suddenly, it all feels like in those action movies when they are trying to get through the lasers without triggering the alarm. One bad move and the screaming threatens to start again and that’s the last thing you want, after all you’ve done to calm her down. 

You don’t even realize it but as you watch her little head reach the mattress you hold your breath, almost wincing upon seeing Harry’s hands slide out from under her sleeping frame. As if you wait for something to go wrong, both of you freeze for a moment, expecting her to start moving around and wake up, but she stays still. 

Eyes snapping up to Harry, you exchange a look and then you both head to the door, careful not to make any noise that can possibly shake Valerie up from her dreams.

“This was more tiring than running a marathon,” he huffs, throwing himself to the couch and you do the same next to him. 

“Have you ever run a marathon?”

“No,” he confidently answers and you look over at him with a puzzled look. “But I can imagine how tiring it is.”

You let out a chuckle, letting your eyes close for just a little bit. You haven’t even had the chance to realize how much this whole struggle with Val sucked the energy out of you, but now that you’re half lying on the couch it hits you all at once.

“I should get going,” you hear Harry mumble, clearly just as tired as you are, but he doesn’t move. 

“Mhm,” you hum, feeling yourself drift to sleep.

Neither of you moves and it doesn’t take a whole five minutes for the both of you to completely doze off.

The next time you wake up you feel an arm curled around your waist and someone is definitely pressed up against you while your back is against the back of the couch. It takes you a couple of moments and some blinking to realize it’s Harry you are all snuggled up to and the reason why you woke up is because Valerie is crying again. 

“Shit,” you mumble to yourself, mind still groggy from the sleep as you push yourself up on the couch. Just moments later Harry’s eyes flush open and you’re not sure it’s because of the crying or because you moved next to him. His arm slides off you as he looks around a little confused about his surroundings.

You don’t have the chance to think about how the two of you ended up cuddling on the couch, though it lingers in the back of your mind. Basically crawling over Harry you rush into your bedroom where Valerie is lying in her bed crying. It’s a different kind of cry, not like the one you were stuck with for hours before and you know she must be hungry.

“Ah, come on, little girl. It’s alright,” you coo at her scooping her into your arms. She immediately cuddles to your chest hiccupping against it, her little hands fisting your shirt. You leave to go to the kitchen and feed her, but just as you’re about to step out of the room you bump into Harry.

You bounce back from his chest, but his hand immediately reaches for you and grabs your arm, holding you in case you might fall back.

“Sorry,” you breathe out, thoughts still foggy a little. “She’s… hungry,” you explain, but he is standing so close to you, you can feel his body’s warmth and it instantly ignites the memory of being pressed against his side on the couch just moments ago and you can’t stop yourself from inhaling a shaky breath. 

“Let me help,” he croaks out and the two of you walk into the kitchen. Putting on her bib you hand her over to Harry who sits with her on his lap on a stoop as you get the baby food, warm it a little before joining the two of them and you slowly start feeding her.

“What time is it?” you ask realizing you have no idea how long you two have been asleep on the couch.

“It’s three am,” Harry answers before smiling down at Val. “Good job, Val!” he hums watching her take the spoon into her mouth.

You finish up feeding her, then give a try at burping her even though Rosa said it’s not necessary anymore. She just hums to herself so you head back to the bedroom, her eyes already threatening to close. By the time you put her back to the bed she is out again, so no private show is needed this time.

Walking out of the room you see Harry putting on his shoes and coat. For a split second you feel disappointed that he is leaving, but then your rational side puts you to your place. Of course he is leaving! Val is fine now, there’s no other reason for him to stay, right?

“Harry,” you softly say and he looks at you. “Can you please not tell Rosa and Steven that I needed help with Val?” you quietly ask, though there’s no doubt your eyes are practically begging him.

“No way I’ll ever admit to Steven that I sang ABBA to his child, so don’t worry about it,” he chuckles making you smile as well. 

“Thank you. And for helping me as well. I was really close to giving it up,” you admit folding your arms on your chest as Harry stands at the front door, hand on the door knob as he is looking back at you.

“No problem. Now you owe me one,” he smirks and you can’t hold yourself back from rolling your eyes.

“Sure,” you say with an airy chuckle. “Good night, Harry.”

“Good night, Y/N,” he smiles at you sweetly before opening the door and walking out. 

You take his place at the door and watch him walk down the eerily quiet hallway. He turns back to you one last time waving in your way and you nod back smiling before he disappears around the corner.

Closing the door you lean your back against it, taking a deep breath. Your eyes wander over to the couch where you and Harry were sleeping not so long ago. The feeling of his arm around you is still burned into your mind and you breathe in shakily as a memory snaps into your head of the exact same thing, only years earlier.

You lied almost exactly like that in his hotel room that night. His strong arms wrapped around you as you had your head laid on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was slightly faster than the normal. Though you were still quite drunk, this feeling imprinted into your memories, because you felt so safe with him. Like nothing could ever hurt you if he was there with you.

Unfortunately, that feeling faded into nothing when you woke up in the morning quite fast. But this time, instead of disappointment and disgust, the only thing you still feel is the emptiness at the lack of his touch. 

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TAGLIST

let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off!

@f-vasquezp​ @perspnhel​ @http-cherries​  @h-arrystyles​ @just-damn-bored​ @millennial-teenybopper​ @sarcasticallywitty15​ @gwenlovesharrystyles​ @perfectywrong​ @do-youseeme​ @burberryharold​  

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles oneshot #harry styles series #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles valerie #harry styles valerie series #valerie series

[aonogifreactions]

Also, I happened to be perusing your tag list for Mephy dearest and noticed you didn’t do before/during/after mating season headcanons for him, so if you’d be so kind when you have time? (And Amaimon too if he hasn’t been done cuz my stupid ass forgot to check him before requesting) thanks in advance~ ;) ❤️

hI HELLo and welcome! it is me! and im actually writing! *applause* i actually dont remember if ive done amaimon before, so i wrote about him too. no regrets. enjoy! :eyes:

Mephisto:

Before:

gets hella irritated by anything, doesn't talk much. is really grumpy, has weird cravings, pretty much feels like he’s pregnant.

is easily flustered, so you better not start a fight with him.

is brutally, and i mean, BRUTALLY honest with you and everyone else.

“Why did you buy me a banana milkshake? I wanted the strawberry one!” *cries on the floor* or *tosses the milkshake on the floor and leaves*

he can get really cold towards you, whether it’s your fault or someone else’s. will say some cryptic shit, might even expose your secrets, use you for his plans, but! he won’t kill ya, don’t worry. unless...?

he informs you a few days prior to his “grumpy days” to not be with him much. Mephy’s literally giving you a warning, and I advise you to listen to him, lmao.

During:

immediately calls you when his “grumpy days” are over, telling you how much he missed you. practically screams into his phone.

this quickly can get steamy, since he’s just.. to be blatant, horny. will start his famous dirty talk, hell, you can even get some dick pics to your collection.

expects you to be available all the time. like you’re taking a bath? poof! you’re in his office, cuz he needs you right there and right now. 

gets uncharacteristically subby and very desperate during his mating season. his pathetic whines to touch him, to let him release all that thick cum.

speaking about cum, he cums a fucking ton. It's thick, kinda white-ish, and S W E E T, I kid you not!

God, don't even mention tail play. He's gonna cream his pants 3 times when you only just try to touch the tip of his tail.

When you're mean, however, pull his tail a little bit or keep rubbing it's tip. He'll moan as loud as he can, with a slight smirk on his face, tongue lolled out.

He does aheago face, no one can convince me otherwise.

Pops out of nowhere, stating: "Darling, I might need your help…", then slowly places your hand on his bulge.

Has no shame. Literally. He wants, and will grope you whenever he can. Especially your chest.

Is willing to use toys on him. He just wants that sweet release, no matter with what way he's going to achieve that.

giving him a blowjob might make him literally explode with confetti.

Feels a HUGE need to mark you, even more than before. You need to stop him though, sometimes he draws blood; during this time he usually gets lost in pleasure and kinda drifts away from reality. Just flick his forehead. Or smack him really hard.

After:

He,,, feels a bit "embarrassed". Every time he's after his mating season, just thinking bout his actions and that desperateness.. really makes him cringe.

Makes it up for you, apologizes for hurting you just in case; however, "you should've known what you signed up for, sweetheart."

is now his usual, annoying self; considers having you as dom from time to time.

Amaimon:

Before:

c l i n g y. all the damn time. will not let you go anywhere without him.

eats 2x more sweets than usual. I feel sorry for your bank account.

gets really talkative??? talks non-stop. this is so out of character he’s surprised himself.

does THE STUPIDEST things while possibly risking his host’s health. Ha, see that tall building? what would happen if you two jumped off of it-

W H I N E S.

During:

you better have health insurance just in case.

wants to fuck you anywhere it’s possible to. even in the air.

goes full-on demon mode, his pupils sharpen, his ears change, as well as the tail. his breathing gets louder as well.

gets a bit more aggressive; pulls you by the hand and literally rips your clothes off. he will fuck you whenever he wants to. you’re his fucktoy and there’s no other way but to accept it.

he snarls! right into your ear! :chill:

his “nails” change into claws that can dig into your skin quite painfully; be sure to remind him when he goes overboard!

despite being a literal killing machine, he doesn’t want to kill you, especially during intercourse. Which means! he actually knows when its a bit too much for you. It’s somewhere.. but it is!

loves pain! and unfortunately, you digging your pretty nails into his back isn’t enough. he’s satisfied when he’s all bloody, with bruises and small wounds (that will heal quickly, so don't worry.)

pulls your hair a lot, especially when you blow him.

marks you with his cum.. everywhere. in your mouth, on your chest, stomach, ass, or his favorite place - your gorgeous face.

will try to breed you. just imagining your tight pussy filled with his cum that’ll make your stomach all pretty and round is driving him crazy. (even though.. he doesn’t really like kids?)

in addition, he loves the sight of your mixed juices dripping out of you. that makes him even more aroused than before.

is capable of eating you out for HOURS. and I literally mean hours! his face gets all messy, your silk on every single part of his face.

After:

acts like nothing happened.

i could just end it here.

might feel a lil bad if he hurt you; this is when he shows that he’s capable of actual lovemaking. this is kinda his apology to you, since he’s awful with words.

#Ao no Exorcist #ao no exorcist imagine #blue exorcist #blue exorcist imagines #blue exorcist imagine #mephisto pheles #amaimon #Headcanon #oops

[mca-attack21]

Mystery Bullet Part 3

This is the third and final part to this series, thanks for joining me on the ride! Part 1: Here  Part 2: Here

The phone rung a couple of times before Sherlock answered. “Awh John, you’re missing the fun.”

“She’s okay, just had a bad reaction to the antigens in the blood they gave her during surgery.”

“Did they give her the wrong blood?”

“They claim they didn’t, but that is the only thing that makes sense.”

“Oh, that’s brilliant! The bullets weren’t made of ice, they were made of blood. That explains everything.”

“I’m not sure I follow,”

“Think about it the bullet disappeared. She had a bad reaction to antigens. Ice wasn’t dense enough, but the blood would be perfect. Someone used human blood to create a projectile that when froze with liquid nitrogen and shot by pressurized air would resemble a bullet. It wouldn’t leave an exit wound and would dissolve. It also explains why she said the wound site was cold.” Sherlock explained.

“She’s awake now, you should come and see her. She’s asked about you,” John replied.

“I’m glad she is okay, I will come to visit when I have solved the case” Sherlock replied.

“Sherlock, she is still in critical condition, you do understand that right?”

“The auction is tomorrow, we are running out of time,” Sherlock answered before hanging up.

John wanted to call him back, but he knew that it was no use. He instead went into your room and sent Molly home for the night. When you woke up he explained what had happened and Sherlock’s blood bullet theory.

“Have you found the paintings yet?” you asked.

“What do you mean?”

“The real paintings are still in the Museum somewhere. There is too much traffic, extra security, and outside security cameras for them to have been removed. None of the other security cameras were tampered with and no other guards were affected. It had to be an inside job because someone walked in and out of that well-lit room without drawing suspicion and left the same way. They had to be in there well before they actually shot the security guard. Between that and the looping footage, I would assume that the guard was in on the heist and then was double-crossed. Regardless, there is no possible way that the art was removed it is somewhere in that room. I called the art restorator that you met, he said that he would meet with me to check over the paintings. He wanted me to come in that night, but I told him it would have to wait. Oh my god, it was him!” you realized.

“How so?” John asked.

“He knew that I was on to him and he knew you and Sherlock wouldn’t be home. He had access to the facility and no one would question where he was going. He has worked at the gallery for a while and would have had plenty of time to plan everything out.” you explained.

John was laughing and pulling out his phone.

“What?” you asked.

“You are insane, that is what. I need to get normal friends,” he answered. 

“Is everything okay?” Sherlock answered.

“Yes, but you need to go to the museum, I’ll meet you there.”

 “Why?”

“Because Y/n solved the case and we need to go pick up the paintings and culprit. I’ll explain when we get there. Call Mycroft.” he said and hung up.

“Okay now, you are going to lay here and rest. No exceptions. Sherlock and I will come by when it’s over and we will see what we have to do to get you out of here. Is there anyone you’d like me to call?” he asked.

“Nope, I think I’ll take a nap. Be careful,” you answered.

Sherlock and John went to the museum. It didn’t take them long to discover where the real paintings were being hidden. They then went to Dr. Argonza’s office, to no one’s surprise he wasn’t there. They did find a cryogenic dewar which could have easily been used to store the blood bullets. There was an airbrush and pipe that Sherlock was sure could provide enough velocity to cause the injuries. The entire rig would easily fit under a coat and be hidden. Sherlock filled his brother in and together they came up with a plan to switch the duplicates back with the originals and wait for Dr. Argonza at the auction where they would pick him up.

Convinced that not even Mycroft’s men could screw this up, John and Sherlock prepared to leave. John had them stop by the flat to pick you up some spare clothes for your return trip. He was surprised to see that Sherlock had cleaned up the blood and everything from his experiments earlier that day. He was glad that this was almost over and that things would soon be back to normal. 

When they arrived at the hospital they were told visitation hours were over and made some type of excuse using their “badges” to get passed the nurse. John led the way to your room and Sherlock followed. They were surprised to hear talking from your room. That surprised turned to concern when they realized that your door was locked.

Meanwhile:

You were tired and understandably so. But how were you supposed to get any sleep when nurses were constantly coming in and poking and prodding you. This nurse was different, you hadn’t seen him yet. He came over and prepared to inject another medication into your IV. 

“I had my last round of medication an hour ago,” you spoke confused.

“This is a post-op Antibiotic, Doctors’ orders,” he said nonchalantly.

“Which one?” you asked painfully forcing yourself to sit up to get a better look. 

“Carbenicillin? That can’t be right. I have a severe reaction to Beta Lactums.” you explained.

“Hmm, it doesn’t say that in your chart,” he replied before injecting it in.

You immediately tore out your IV and tried to hit the Nurse call button, shouting for help. 

“Shut up! Shut up!” he shouted coming over and placing his hand over your nose and mouth forcefully. You tried to fight against him but your body was too weak and the fear was taking over.

“If you would have just stayed out of it, none of this would have happened. I didn’t want to kill you, but you’re too much of a liability now,” he explained.

You were beyond scared now tears running down your cheeks. You fought against it with everything you had but it was too much. The burning in your chest took over and the black circles grew. 

That is when Sherlock and John burst through the door. Sherlock ripped Dr. Argonza off of you and threw him on the ground. You gasped and struggled to breathe. John had him at gunpoint until security was able to collect him. Even then, he waited with him until Mycroft showed up with his men to take him away. Back in your room, the nurses had kicked Sherlock out so they could thoroughly check you over. You were understandably a mess and demanded AMA forms. You gave them no choice and fought through the pain to remove all of the monitors that were hooked up to you. You sat up sheepishly and started putting on the clothes that John had brought. The nurses tried to reason with you, but you weren’t having it. That is when one of them decided to let Sherlock in to see if he could talk any sense into you.

“What is it that you think you are doing?” he asked concerned.

“I’m leaving. Are you going to help me?” you replied clutching your head.

“Y/n, you can’t leave. You need to stay here and let them take care of you, you’re in no condition to go home” he tried and then he saw something that shook him; you started crying. 

“I can’t stay here, please don’t make me stay here” you cried.

He felt like he was entirely unequipped to handle this situation and wished that John was there.

“It’s okay Y/n, everything is going to be okay. Just lay back down.” he tried.

“I want to go home Sherlock, I’d rather die there than stay here,” you sobbed. 

He went over to your side and did something that was very rare for Sherlock, he gave you a hug. 

“I was so scared” you revealed.

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s over now,” he soothed. 

“I can’t stay here, Sherlock,” you added.

“I know, we’ll figure it out. Just relax,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry,”

“You have nothing to be sorry for Y/n, just lay back down until John returns,” Sherlock instructed taking a seat next to you. It wasn’t long before you fell back asleep. And shortly after that both John and Mycroft walked in.

“What is all this?” John asked referring to you sleeping in your clothes and not being hooked up to the machines.  

“She doesn’t want to stay here. She signed AMA’s and tried to leave.” Sherlock informed.

“Well she doesn’t get a choice, she needs to stay and be looked after,” John replied. 

“You know, I have never seen her cry before today.” Sherlock whispered, “She literally said that she rather die at our flat than to stay here.”

“We can’t take care of her in this condition,” John reminded.

“Mycroft, do you think that I can cash in a favor?” Sherlock asked acknowledging his brothers’ presence for the first time.

“You are running low on those, what do you want this time?” Mycroft returned.

“The VIP suite here until Y/n can safely check out,” Sherlock replied still not taking his eyes off of your sleeping form.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said as he exited the room.

“We almost lost her three times today John,” Sherlock realized.

“She’ll be okay though, and that’s what counts,” John reminded.

The next two days were spent in the VIP suite of the hospital. Sherlock refused to leave your side even though you told him it was okay. The Art Gallery covered the entirety of your medical expenses as compensation for you saving the auction. When you were finally allowed to go home, you were ordered to take it easy for a week. Sherlock refused to take any cases during that time, which was quite out of character. This mystery was one of the few which never made it on the blog, and that was okay.

#sherlock #sherlock holmes #sherlock bbc #sherlock benedict cumberbatch #sherlock imagine #sherlock imagines #sherlock series #sherlock x reader #sherlock x you #sherlock holmes imagine #sherlock holmes imagines #sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock holmes series #john watson #john watson imagine

[rebelliouslala]

Helios

The hot summer sun is practically burning your back

and your travel from your small village to Athens just started

sure you didn’t rly get out often but goddamn this hill was HUGE

you were sUPER anxious to sell your load of fruit

you needed more fabric so you can become a weaver

because it’s ancient greece

yeah

today wasn’t the greatest day to go out since it was pretty sunny

and there were no clouds to help the sun not bake you

you still walk up towards a hill, pulling rly rly rly rly heavy bags of fruit

your brows were getting all sweaty

by the time you’re nearing the peak you look up at the sun to check the time

Problem was there was no sun

you’re kinda like, “? uhm, is the sun god Helios on a break?”

“Damn—”

There’s a loud metal clunk and a scream from the top of the hill

You stop on your path, looking near the peak of the hill, wondering what the fuck THAT was

u see this weird and large, bright yellow glow, and you gasp softly

“Hello? Sanha if you’re over there I’m going to kill you!” the voice is loud, making you stumble back

but you fall back, squealing softly once you realize your balance is uneven due to the fruit

“Hello?” someone says, hearing your fall

“Uh, yes?” You respond quietly

There’s a gasp, and the bright light dims

You look over at a handsome man

He smiles in relief it’s almost as bright as the light from earlier

wiping his brow he happily runs down from the top

his hair is messy and it bounces with each step

his skin is gorgeous

like what the hell you had okay skin but he was a really nice tan that you just adore

aphrodite must’ve blessed him

“Hello mortal! Or- er, sorry I don’t see mortals often.”

You gasp softly, and get on your knees, cursing yourself for being in awe

with

a

GOD

“F-Forgive me oh mystical one! Hello! It is an honor to meet you.”

u didn’t know wtf else to say

His touch is warm as he help you up, a frown on his face, “I don’t mind. And please don’t have to do that either.”

you look over, “Is that your chariot?”

“Yeah, my bastard cousin, or whatever, he starved my horses! MY horses! My precious Tony and Stark are so hungry they can’t fly.”

you push your bag of fruit in front of you, like an offering to the worried god “I don’t know what, uh, winged horse eat, but will this suffice?”

His face lights up, like the sun, and he takes it, “Oh my GODS yes it is you’re a literal life saver,”

he runs back with a squeal, and the glow becomes brighter, you shield your eyes instinctively until you feel an hand touch your arm

“I cannot thank you enough. if I didn’t get them anything the day would be VERY long, and i’m so tired,” he pouts

oh my god ur heart almost combusted he looks so babie

“of course, uh,” you finally feel a little regret since he just took a whole bag from you, so now you would get less fabric

“Say, where are you going?” he asks, grabbing your bag and holding it, and you can see his arms bulging oh-

“uh, am i scaring you or-?”

you snap back into reality and gulp, “Oh, well, I was going to Athens,” you point, kinda in the west

honestly all you know is to follow the path

“that’ll take two days!” the man cries, and he tsks, dragging you with the other arm “I’LL take you, besides I owe you one,”

you sigh in relief because you were probably like half a day journey’s in and you wanted to die

“thank you so much, sun god,”

“call me Myung Jun, or MJ!” he smiles wide, flashing his pretty teeth

you have to look away because sweetie you turned redder than the goddamn sea

see what i did there okay sorry

you look at a huge chariot, in front are two pure white pegasus -pegasi? ack- and you pull away to pet them

after all who meets winged horses everyday

“that’s Stark, the one next to him is Tony,”

“What odd names,” you mumble, before Stark bows her head to you

you smile wide as Tony nudges you with his head

you giggle and you look at the fruit they haven’t really finished, so you offer an apple

Tony takes a huge bite, making you laugh louder, and talk to him

now it’s the sun god’s turn to blush

he has definitely met mortal women before, but you make him all >~<

usually mortals want to get laid with him

But you were here being soft with his horses and that was just so adorable

“So, uh, we better get on,” MJ kinda mumbles, and you get on

“You might wanna cover your eyes”

“Why?”

“We gods are very powerful, and mortals that witness it can often go mad, that or we just obliterate them”

god. damn. you obey, since you at least have some sort of will to live

especially with this flaming hunk beside you

you feel some sort of warmth rush down your body like chills

you fall back when the chariot takes off

“okay, open your eyes, are you okay?!” he helps you up, and look at him

now you can see he truly was a god, on his head is a yellow crown, and he just looks so flawless you wanna kiss him

aphrodite was definitely messing with you what the hell

you look at his face instead as you try to control yourself

because bro he’s a god why would he like you???

so you nod, and he helps you sit on your bag, holding the reigns to the chariot

you and he are already WAY back up in the air, and the wind is cool and pretty friendly overall, despite the high height

“So, why Athens?” he ties to the reigns to the side of his gold chariot, sitting in front of you and taking your fruit

You gesture to the bag, standing up, “That, I uh, I need fabric to start to weave”

“you don’t have sheep? Gaia made all of that for you!” he pouts

you giggle from his pout, shaking your head, pointing to where your village was

“we’re too poor to afford that, so i grow the fruit,”

MJ stands up and widens his eyes, “What? I just ate and used your fruit for my horses! this won’t be enough!”

you try and explain to him it’s fine

like he’s a god why is he worried about you???

bug he shakes his head

“no, listen, uh,” he leans over his chariot, to like the back of it where he keeps his harp

problem is

he’s leaning over YOU

you kinda knew it was weird but you took a breath in

he smells sweet, you couldn’t put your finger on it, but it’s the sweetest smell ever

you could kind of assume ambrosia

but he pulls away before you can come to a conclusion, leaving you all pink

he pulls out a long and wide, glittering fabric

“i’ve had this for so long, usually we save this stuff for like heroes, but uh,” he hands it to you, and you can see it’s sme sort of gold colored silk

your mind rushes to all sorts of ideas to weave on it as he smiles, “if you cut a piece of it off, it regrows itself to be the same exact size as it’s first piece, it’s endless”

you dont even realize you’ve teared up when you embrace him, “I-I don’t even know what to say, this is the best gift Ive ever recieved!”

MJ turns RED and he hugs you too, nodding, “you deserve it,” he mumbles

you and he sort of just lay in each other’s arms for the rest of the day

the sun god makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts

he even teases you when you snort, leaving you to never stop laughing

however, because of his speedy chariot, you’ve arrived to Athens already

by this time there’s only a few hours until MJ has to set his chariot off at his palace

he lands on a hill, and he helps you off

he secretly puts a charm on the bag so it’s not heavy for you to carry

“Myung Jun,” you say, and you smile wide when he turns pink as the dawn

literally his little sister, Eos is like a few hours away you can see her

“Thank you, for everything, I’ve never had any fun like this, and, I thank you for your gifts,”

MJ holds your hand, and his heart lurches to his throat

before you can pull away, MJ holds you close for another warm embrace

You both hold each other for felt like ages, which is just what you needed as a goodbye

you smelling his ambrosia scent, and him taking in the feeling of just

you

“Hey,” he mumbles

“Yes?” you say into his chest, before looking up

“maybe, I can pick you up from that hill we met, I’m thinking the day after tomorrow? when you come back from athens?’

MJ rubs the back of his neck and says quietly, “I would love to show you my palace,”

you smile, lean up to kiss his pretty sun kissed cheek as you mumble back, “I would love that,”

#mj #mj astro #astro #astro fluff #myung jun #astro fanfic #astroimagine #kpopimagines #fanfiction #kpop fan fiction #fluff #astro mj

[swinterr]

Valerie IV

Valerie has been gone for 3 days and her family and Anwar are worrying.

They think that Valerie run away for some reason. But the truth is that Valerie is just chilling on her beach house without a care in the world.

Anwar was woken up by Yolanda, her mom, knocking in his room door continuously.

“Anwar! Anwar!” Yolanda continues to yell behind the door

Anwar groans and use a pillow to cover his ears to avoid his mother’s voice intruding him in his deep slumber.

“Anwar! Valerie is missing! Get the fuck up!”

That’s the time when Anwar start calling everybody.

He called his sisters, then Bella and Gigi starts calling everybody who knows Valerie.

Anwar even called Shawn.

Shawn is sitting on the couch inside his tour bus, strumming his guitar. Beside him is Connor and Brian playing Xbox.

As Shawn changes the position of his fingers his phone rings off.

Incoming call: Hailey Baldwin

Huh? that’s weird, they never really talked after their pr. Why she calling me? Shawn though

“Uh hello? Is this Shawn Mendes?” her soft voice fills the air, but not as soft as Valerie’s.

Shawn holds his guitar on his lap as his other hand holds the phone.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Bella called, Bella Hadid oh and Gigi called. You know them right?” the connection is a little weak so shawn’s having a hard time understanding plus the guys are are basically screaming at each other right now.

“Uh yeah. Wait a second.” Shawn mumbled as he sets his guitar down the couch, he prepares himself to scream at the guys.

He covers the speaker and shout. “Dude! Shut the fuck up!”

“Are you okay?” Hailey laughs as she hears guys complaining in the background.

“Anyways Valerie’s missing. The girls asked me to ask you if you know where she is.”

Shawn can feel the guys looking at him, he felt his world stopped spinning.

Anyway Shawn started calling everyone he knew who has connections with Valerie.

Basically that day was so stressful that even Andrew had to call Valerie’s parents to asked what’s happening.

-

Meanwhile Valerie had the best three days of her life.

She literally made the best decision of buying the house, although it’s expensive as heck.

Her house has a rooftop, with an helicopter parking in it. All she has to buy now is the actual helicopter. All that she can say is that her house is a dream. A gym, a pool, a library, a game room, a cinema room. Everything, she even have her own bar where she store her alcoholic drinks she stole from her dad.

On the first day she just watched movies on her laptop, ate fruits, went to the gym did some yoga. And on the afternoon she went sunbathing on the rooftop, she drove a boat and went fishing— in which she ate what she caught for dinner.

The second day is a chill day, she went to the gym at the morning and yoga at night. She spent almost her day sitting in the massage chair she brought. That’s all.

The third day— her last day she went jogging on the highway which is still her property, she thought that she the road is a little bit dark and sad. So she thought the next day when she will come back to Bel Air she will order bunch of lamp post, trees— specifically palm trees and other plants also, she will hire people to take care of her house at the same time will plant and will take care of her trees and plants.

Valerie now is packing her things, just her bag. She already did her laundry and decided to leave her clothes there in case if she come backs or something.

Valerie loaded her things on her car and zoomed off.

Before she goes she checked if she locked all the doors and the gates.

The car ride is interesting, she saw some paps on her way to Bel Air. Hoping that can glimpse at her and their family mansion which they kept private.

-

Its been a week since Valerie returned home from her mini vacation in Malibu.

Valerie and her dad hade some “serious talk” about what’s happening with her these past few days.

Eventually her dad, Virgo, figured out that her daughter and Shawn broke up.

Plus he said that ever since that dinner back in Toronto Valerie has been acting off and mostly sad. Virgo is worried about his angel’s mental health he says he missed the old Valerie, thus he ask Valerie to seek the help of a therapist which Valerie agreed too.

Her dad’s friend, Léon, also her godfather died because of depression. Although her case isn’t that deep. Virgo wanted her to be safe, also for him mental health is more important than physical health.

Few weeks later Shawn is in Oakland. Valerie had literally 4 sessions every week and after every session she does photoshoot and video campaigns for different brands.

Those sessions really helped him in forgetting their shared memories slowly.

That went pretty well. Today Valerie is getting ready for the ribbon cutting in Los Angeles for their hotel.

“You know what Val, I think you should quit studying and become a model.” Kayla, her make up artist slash hairstylist said as she blend Valerie’s blush out.

Her makeup is simple, glowy and natural except for her lips. Her team insisted that she should do a dark redish purple lip.

“Yeah you literally look like a Victoria’s Secret model.” Adrian, her stylists agrees.

Valerie’s looking beautiful as ever.

Adrian is currently zipping up Valerie’s dress while Kayla is touching up Val’s make up.

Valerie is rockin a black strapless beaded gown from Naeem Khan and a black and a black platform sandals from Malone Souliers.

Valerie is basically a model now, so she gotta serve looks, she gotta look stunning in every angle.

They are in Bel Air, in Valerie’s parents house.

“I don’t know I mean I would do it but I love learning.” Valerie shrugs.

“And besides, I’m not confident enough for that.”

“Girls?” a knock on the door interrupt them

They all stop what they’re doing and looked at the door.

“The car is waiting.”

-

“I’m so glad you guys made it!” Vernon greeted Brian and Connor.

Connor and Brian walked inside the hotel, with the maids giving them juice because Connor is still underage. Connor eyes widen when he saw the interior of the Valentin’s newly opened hotel while Brian just smirked.

“Hi I’m Vernon, I’m Val’s older brother.” Vernon approach the two while carrying baby Laslo in his right toned arm.

“Vernon! I brought my friend here, his name is Connor.” Brian introduced Connor to Vernon.

Vernon and Brian knew each other. They met last year at Valerie’s Birthday.

“Ahhh Connor, Shawn Mendes’ videographer?” Vernon shook Connor’s hands, he knew Connor through Val, she mention that he studies in UCLA just like him but he graduated already.

Laslo squirmed in his dad arms and extending his arm towards Brian. Wanting to be carried by him so Brian carried him, Brian extended his arms and carried Laslo.

Connor and Brian bodies stiffen when he mention Shawn, as a friend of Shawn of course they are embarrassed by his action.

“Where’s the kid?” Connor didn’t knew what to do so he looked at Brian, Brian eyes widen, he didn’t know where even Shawn is.

“Uhhh I don’t really know, he’s working on s project.” Brian awkwardly laugh.

“He better be, I’m gon—” Brian and Connor are mentally thanking Milo for cutting of his dad for saying something.

“Hi! I’m Laslo, I got my tooth of yesterday. The tooth fairy gave my $50.” Laslo proudly shows his missing bottom tooth to Connor.

Connor is about to answer when Viviane walked towards them.

Connor knew Valerie has two sibling. Valerie is hella attractive but he didn’t knew that even her siblings are attractive too. They look like greek gods and goddesses.

“Vernon dad’s looking for you.” Viviane look stunning, she looked like a model. She approached the group and once again Laslo is squirming in Brian’s arms, he wants Viviane to carry him.

“Brian! Nice to see you again.” Viviane smiled and hug Brian.

“Hi I’m Viviane Valentin, Valerie older sister. Nice to meet you.” Viviane hugged Connor.

“Go to the 23rd floor, Valerie’s waiting for you there.”

Viviane and Vernon walked to their parent but Vernon stopped and looked at them and said. “Tell Shawn he better be careful. Valerie is to precious to be cheated on.”

Connor eyes is practically shaking. Valerie and Viviane share the same personality with their Mom, except Valerie is more softer and Vernon and His Dad share the same personality except Vernon is more harsh and tougher like but he look soft.

“I’m literally dying when Val brother asked Shawn.” Chugged his juice down, his throat feels dry after their encounter with the Valentin’s.

The two are finally alone and can finally talk openly.

“I know! My armpits are sweating” Brian fanned his armpits.

“Dude, Valerie’s sibling are attractive! Have you seen her sister, her sister’s hot. Also I never knew Val was this rich!” Connor runs his finger through his hair.

“The first time I met her was when she was staying at her aunt’s house because I thought they don’t have no house but they are renovating their fucking mansion!” Valerie stayed at her aunt Veronica when their mansion is renovated, that’s when she met Shawn, Aunt Veronica’s house is directly to the Mendes’ Household and Brian’s house is just around the block.

“Dude Harvard is fee is around like $44,000 she rich rich!”

While the two are on their way to their designated floor they kept on talking about Val’s family wealth. Brian mostly keeps on talking to be honest because he known Val for years. He told Connor about them having private jets, mansion and other stuff that mostly billionaires can afford.

When Connor and Brian entered Valerie’s room they saw her crying on the bed with her laptop on.

“Valerie I miss youu but why are you crying?” the two lads run up to Valerie’s bed and hug her.

“I just got a modeling gig!” Valerie cried, Valerie has always been the sensitive type. When she’s hurt or happy she always cried. Shawn always calls her cry baby when they were younger until now.

“Really? That’s good but why do you need to cry?” Connor is confused.

Valerie models when it’s summer. She rarely do gigs when uni is starting.

“Yeah you should be proud!” Brian added.

“I know but it’s too much, I don’t think I can do it.”

“What brands are they anyway.”

“Um, Gucci, Burberry, YSL and Maybelline, Adidas, Calvin Klein, Moschino, Stuart Weitzman and also oh my god Chanel contacted me!”

“What!! 9 brands that’s crazy!” Connor started jumping and so does Brian.

-

Taglist:

@night-girls-world

@alinashawn

@feliciaceciliamariajacobsson

@clarissahunter

heyy i haven’t updated for a while hehehe. you guys still read this? if you do i love you, a lot has happened this past few months hehe

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fluff #angst #shawn mendes angst #fluff #valerie #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb

[morganas-pendragons]

3| T.S.

I’m supposed to be writing a paper, here I am writing more for Endgame. I needed this - It’s my only way of coping. Thank you for the feedback, and enjoy!

CONTAINS ENDGAME SPOILERS - I WILL FIGHT FOR TONY STARKS RIGHT TO BE LOVED UNTIL I AM DEAD

Tag: @robertdownyjrs

***

  “When I come back, you better be here.” His words are spoken with fervor, a desperate promise that he needs you to be able to fulfill. You are the only person in Tony Starks life who has been there since the start, the only one who stayed, and the one he vowed to spend the rest of his life with. 

You have to be there when he comes back from Titan, because he might literally call it quits if you aren’t. You have to. 

Your reply comes in a searing kiss that quite literally makes him weak in the knees. “I already told you, you idiot.” You whisper as you force yourself away from him, lips hovering over his own so closely that he almost wants to take you right then and there. “I love you too much to leave.” 

And unfortunately, he loves you too much to stay, and that is what prompts him to board the ship that will take him to Titan. 

Given what happened during the Civi War between your fiancé and Steve Rogers, you’d give anything to be with him on Titan instead of protecting the outskirts of Wakanda. Steve has vowed to look after you - whatever that means - and somehow lost track of you after the battle, completely oblivious to the fact that you decided to remain with Thor. You and Thor had grown rather close over the last 8 years and often spent time training together when he came to Earth because of the similarities with your powers. 

Your darker nights, the ones where you cried until you couldn’t anymore, were spent in the safety of Thor’s bedroom at the Avengers Compound. Steve still fulfilled his duties and checked in on you just as he had promised he would, but he never went further than that. The man knew you didn’t trust him, and with good reason. 

It’s mere days after the Snap that you feel it, the tremble beneath your feet as you indulge Thor by telling him stories about your life. It distracts you from the lack of Tonys presence, and it distracts him from wallowing in his misery brought upon by the losses he’d endured. 

  “Y/N!” Your gaze flickers upward as Steve sprints into the room and urges you out the bedroom door to the main yard, where a massive ship is being carried by a glowing woman who you are unfamiliar with. She sets it down with ease and meets your gaze, and you give her a firm nod in thanks. 

The hangar door opens, and all the blood drains from your face. The air crackles with static electricity from where you stand before Steve, Natasha, Bruce and Rhodes, completely paralyzed as you watch the occupants of the Benatar file off into the open night. 

Your eyes flutter shut as you resist the urge to sprint across the clearing and jump into his arms. It’s something you’ve had to learn to control, but just seeing Tony standing there actually speaking to Steve sparks something deep within you that urges you forward and across the clearing. 

  “Y/N?” 

Aching arms fling outward to envelop Tony Stark in the most bone crushing hug he’s ever experienced, and it takes all of his willpower not to crumble in your embrace as you whisper in his ear. “Home. Home. Home.” His hands sink into the tresses of your hair, breath ghosting over your skin as he hides his face in the crook of your shoulder. 

The other Avengers don’t bother to pry the two of you apart, not after what you’ve been through. There was no possible way of moving through the despair and anguish without people. Or more specifically, the people you love. 

  “When you need an anchor, you count to three.” In the midst of Tony learning to deal with his anxiety, you’d given him a solution. Of course it had come in the most unconventional way - seated at the bar - and drunk enough to make your head spin. But he was here, warm and alive, and so very... very real. “Count five things about me. Anything goes. Physical traits, things you love about me, things I’ve taught you. If it helps you cope with whatever is plaguing that beautiful mind of yours..” Your fingers curled around the curve of his jaw and brought his eyes up to yours, thumb dragging across the apple of his cheek to settle in the divot of his lips. “You do whatever it takes.” 

  “One, hands that have held my heart since the day you stumbled on my front porch when I was 7 years old.” 

He tries to make nice with Steve, he really does. But after being left for dead in Siberia and alone in the fight against Thanos, Tony holds a considerable amount of resentment for that very same man who had once said that if they were to lose, they’d do that together too. 

You’re always lingering in his line of sight when things go awry, and just as he suspects, you are immediately at his side when he rips the IV from his arm and stumbles in Steves direction. Fury courses through his blood and despite the fact there are stars dancing behind his eyes, Tony still rips out his arc reactor and slams it into the hands of Steve Rogers. 

It’s only when his knees give out from beneath him and he lands on the floor that the second thought comes, when he looks up into your eyes and sees the terror lurking within them just before he slips into unconsciousness.

  “Two, even when I am least deserving, you are always there. Always lingering for that moment when I need you most desperately, and present when I fall to my knees.” 

Recovery is never easy, but having someone there when you wake up makes it just a bit more bearable. 

Shaking fingers extend outward as Tonys eyes slowly flutter open, blinded by the light of dawn as he struggles to adjust to the brightness. His eyes follow the billow of the curtains at the open windows and slowly travel the length of the incredibly bland medical wing up until he catches the TV - where his favorite TV show is softly playing in the background. 

His fingers tighten in the mess of hair laying limply at his bedside. You sleep at Tonys side with your hand loosely wrapped around his calf, almost as if its your only security that he’ll be there when you wake up. Eyes drift over the curve of your parted lips, breaths coming slow and steady. Tony hasn’t seen you sleep so hard since you were younger. 

When life was a little bit easier. 

  “Y/N?” His voice rumbles low in his chest, and its enough to jolt you upward at the sound. Tony nearly topples over the side of the bed because his hands are still tangled in your hair, and the sight of the shock written all over his expression is enough to send you into a fit of laughter. “That was not funny-” 

Your eyes soften as they meet his. “I have never been so happy to see your eyes open in the forty some years we’ve known each other.” You whisper. He can see the reluctance to open up when you dip your head toward your chest, extending your hand outward into the open in hopes he will oblige and take it. 

He does. 

  “I nearly lost you, Tony. All this time after Thanos snapped.. I really believed you were dead. And do you know how disheartening it is to be stuck in another country with people you once called family, left behind by your husband with your only company being the God of Thunder?” You settle a knee into the mattress and bring yourself up to hover over him as he lays supine beneath you. “Seeing everyone disappear, screaming so loudly to someone who might hear me to keep you safe.. I have never experienced true fear like that. Fear of believing that you would never come home.” 

That’s when thought number three comes. Trapped in the cage of your arms, breath ghosting over his face and sunshine reflecting in your eyes. He realizes right there, in that moment of silence, that your presence is the only home he has ever known. 

And that despite your darkness and your regrets, despite his failures to both you and the greater good, you will never part from his side willingly. You are here and real and you are never leaving. It’s the best freakin’ news he’s heard all day. 

  “Y/N, I need-” 

  “What do you need?” 

Tony swallows the knot in his throat and lets his tongue dart out to wet the cracked flesh of his lips. “I need you to kiss me.” It’s spoken with the same desperation you heard before he boarded his ship for Titan. That same desperation that pours from your own mouth when he tries stumbling down a path you can’t follow him on. “Please.” 

It’s hard to pick a word to describe that moment - that moment of solitude where it’s nothing but you and him. How you succumb to his desires and lower yourself on top of him, careful of aggravating his injuries. He arches his back into you as you claim his mouth with your own. Hot, heavy, full of need and the ability to convey the fierce loyalty the two of you held for one another since the day you’d met as young children. 

  “What about you?” 

  “What about me?” 

Tony swirls a single finger around the rim of his glass as you pour yourself another. “Whenever you need a anchor, what will you count to?” You believe he thinks something absolutely ridiculous, like 72 or 191. Something completely unrelated to what you’ve just said. 

  “I’ll count to three too, but for me it’ll be in the moments we pull together instead of apart. When I need you the most.. when I need to breathe, I’ll count to three.” 

His tongue breaks past the seam of your lips and his hands tangle in your hair, and if you listen quietly enough, you can hear someone whimper. You don’t know if it’s him or you. 

It’s only when you are forced to pull apart for air that you whisper, “Three.” 

#tony stark #tony stark x reader #anthony stark x reader #iron man x reader #avengers: endgame #marvel oneshots #marvel imagines #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #tony stark x you #tony stark x y/n

[okietokiee]

Tokigail / Post-Doomstar

@edgtheow  I always see your Tokigail posts and tbh that’s one of my favorite rare pair ships too!! But their ao3 tag is practically empty ;o; so I wrote a sappy post-dsr fic because this rare pair deserves some love :’)

This is set during Doomstar when the Dethlights happened and then immediately after. And some headcanons I’m using for context: both Toki and Abigail were brutally tortured by Magnus and MMA, but the Dethlights ordeal healed most of Toki’s physical injuries

Rating: T

Abigail’s POV

Abigail was a logical woman. Growing up, she prided herself for her rationality and sensible nature. She’d see something unfamiliar and a majority of the time she was able to analyze the issue or situation and decide what to do next. 

This was not one of those times. 

She could still hardly even believe those selfish, narcissistic assholes actually even showed up. And with such stupidly dramatic timing too, when she had already fully resigned herself to her painful, brutal end in this dungeon at the hands of a man she hardly knew.

And now, looking up at this blindingly bright beam of light levitating those assholes and making them look like some kind of godly celestial beings, she was half convinced this was all just a wild fever dream she was experiencing moments before her death. 

It didn’t help that after the sudden burst of color, everything was a literal blur of empty scenes and lost time. She felt nauseous and lightheaded, a state she’d become accustomed to after months locked up. After an indefinite period of time that could’ve been five minutes or five hours, she was drowned with a litany of random voices she couldn’t distinguish. 

The only distant, grounding voice that broke through the fog was a warm, familiar, “Abigail, we ams safe now…” 

And that familiar sound was enough to convince her that yes, this was real. This was it. The whole world could fall to complete shit, but she’d recognize that voice anywhere. She let out a deep, contented sigh, as she was hoisted up by a taller body. 

She closed her eyes, finally embracing the exhaustion that’s been permeating her whole being for what felt like eternity. 

——————

A few weeks later, Abigail awoke to the faint whirring of machinery and nauseatingly bright hospital lights. She frowned, feeling something weighing down on her left side, and she chanced a small movement of her head to see, to her relief, a sleeping head with long, chestnut brown hair. 

Toki had a firm hold of her hand, their fingers interlaced in a familiar grip. She chanced a small smile, feeling her body relax fully into the hard hospital mattress. 

Seeing Toki somehow alleviated a lot of her sudden fear and anxiety. Not all of it, no, not by a long shot. But they were each other’s only solace down in that hell, and it seemed her brain still recognized him as such. 

She was surprised to see that Toki looked infinitely better than she remembered. Though it was expected since they were finally being treated, she didn’t think it was possible for him to gain back all that weight so fast if what she could see of him was anything to go by. His sallow, sunken cheeks looked full and healthy again, and his previously corpse-like pallor had returned to a state similar to before the kidnapping. 

She had a passing idea that perhaps that blinding beam of light had something to do with this, but just thinking of that ordeal gave her a splitting headache. She sighed weakly, untangling her fingers from the guitarist’s to instead idly stroke his hair in familiar movements. 

She had no idea how much time could have possibly passed, Toki’s soft breathing and her own idle ministrations the only thing she felt rooted her to reality. And Abigail was startled to hear an abrupt cough, and she sat up a bit to see one Swedish guitarist looking more uncomfortable and awkward than she’d ever seen him. 

Skwisgaar nervously shuffled closer to her bed. “Ah… I sees you ams awakes.” He cast an unreadable glance at Toki. “He woulds nots leaves you alone. We ams glads you ams all rights.”

Abigail was not impressed and gave Skwisgaar a look that screamed, ‘Really? That’s all you have to say?’

Skwisgaar physically gulped, his guilt and discomfort apparent. “I… no, de whole bands, we wishes we came earlier. We ams all stupid idiots. Ams all so sorries, ands I know dere is no way to evers really apologizke for dis, buts I just…” He faltered. “He… Toki I means, he so worrierds and keeps saysing he woulds never have mades it wivout yous. I just wants to takk, uh, tanks you for beinks dere for him. We knows it was hells for you too, you didn’ts need to do so much, buts you dids.”

Abigail let a small grin grace her deadpan expression. She chanced a reply, not surprised at how sore her throat felt and her weak, cracked tone of voice. “There’s no need to thank me Skwisgaar. Toki and I… we, well, we needed each other to stay sane down there.” 

Skwisgaar gave her an unidentifiable look in return and seemed as though he were about to say more, when Toki began to stir awake at Abigail’s side. 

“Abbygale?…Yous awakes!” He exclaimed after blinking the sleepiness from his eyes. He shot up from his chair and held Abigail in an excited, surprisingly gentle hug. He was muttering gibberish as he held her, an enthusiastic mixture of Norwegian and English and everything in between. 

Abigail chuckled warmly, returning the hug as best she could with an IV up her arm. 

Satisfied, Toki backed off, but kept his hands on Abigail’s shoulder moving in soothing ministrations. His face was close and expression simultaneously joyous and anxious.

“Abby, Toki ams so happies yous wakes up! De doctors, de says dat if you sleeps for too longs it woulds be real bads, buts I knew you woulds wakes up! Toki knows! How ams you feelings? Anyting hurts? Ah, but de doctors! I go gets dem, dey needs to sees you, but Toki don’ts wants to leaves yous! What we do-”

Abigail gave Toki a fond, exasperated look. She was about to mention that Skwisgaar could alert the doctors, but when she looked to her side she was confused to see the spot empty, the Swede having made a hasty, unnoticed departure. 

Within moments a team of medical professionals rushed in to check up on Abigail’s condition. 

After they left satisfied with their findings and to prepare some further tests, Abigail heaved an anxious sigh. From what the doctor had said so far, it seemed that physically she was doing well considering what her body had been through, but she’d still need quite a bit of physical therapy and further tests. Psychologically though, that was to be determined, and considering the paranoia and anxiety permeating through her body, she did not have high hopes for that.

But, despite whatever trials awaited her, one look at Toki’s eager, hopeful, and absolutely radiant smiling face made her feel like it would be ok.

They made it out of one hell alive, they’d make it out of this too. 

——————

Toki’s POV

Toki saw a blazing, blindingly bright light flash before his eyes and then he felt weightless. He felt it tear through his flesh, simultaneously eviscerating his very being but also creating something new with the ashes. It was disorienting how suddenly it came, and even more so how abruptly it passed. Before he knew it he was back on the floor, fallen to his knees, overcome with exhaustion.

Everything was a blur. His bandmat- no, his brothers breaking into the room and freeing him and Abigail, the sudden lights that seemed to come from the heavens, and the dizzying aftermath of that. If he was to be completely honest, the only constant, grounding thought that helped him regain his bearings was the person who’d been his only comfort for months on end. 

“A-abigail!” He cried, seeing her on the sidelines looking near death. He rushed to stand up, but almost went tumbling down from his shaking legs. Nathan was able to grab hold of him and steady his balance just in time. 

“Abigail! We ams safes now!” Toki yelled. He saw Skwisgaar gently help Abigail up and was immediately distressed to see that it seemed she’d passed out. 

And everything moved so much faster from there.

But regardless, from the warehouse, to the helicopter, and right to the hospital, Toki did not stray far from Abigail’s side. 

——————

Numerous doctors were astounded by the state Toki was in, and not for the reasons everyone was expecting. Though he wasn’t in perfect health, he was exceedingly better than seemed possible for someone stuck in the conditions he was in. 

However, though physically he healed up miraculously fast, he was becoming a nervous wreck. Each day that passed with Abigail still asleep with no signs of waking up made Toki feel like he was slowly but surely suffocating.

And of course, there was the rest of Dethklok too. His brothers. They were as supportive as a group of traumatized, emotionally-stunted man children could possibly be. 

It was strained at first, four members expecting some kind of (well-deserved) anger and resentment from Toki’s side. Being tortured while their bandmates party around the world in a drug-fueled haze would put a bad taste in anyone’s mouth.

But the elation of finally being reunited with his dumb family soothed whatever jagged edges there were and Dethklok had a brutal (read: tearful) homecoming for their rhythm guitarist. 

However, despite their high spirits, Toki couldn’t be content. No, not yet. 

After being cleared by astounded doctors with a clear bill of health after just a few days, he spent his time in Abigail’s room, reading, coloring, sleeping, waiting… always waiting.

It was on one of those quiet days when Skwisgaar and Nathan came to visit, the latter of which threw a surprisingly soft, familiar lump at him. 

“Wowee! Yous guys brought me mines Deddy bear! Takk!” Toki exclaimed with glee, holding his fluffy friend tight. 

“Yeah, we, uh… well, we thought you’d miss him. Since you haven’t been to your room since you got back and everything.” Nathan shrugged, trying to hide a pleased smile. 

“Ja, ands we cames to check ups on yous,” Skwisgaar added.

Toki stiffened. “I ams doins fine.” He said with a rigid tone.

“Yous havent’s left dis rooms in weeks.” Skwisgaar sighed. “We knows you ams worries about hers, but you needs a breaks sometimes.” Toki frowned. “Ams fines. I needs to do dis.”

Nathan coughed, sensing the tension in the air. “Yeah, to be fair Toki, you haven’t even stepped foot in Mordhaus since you got home. And that’s, uh, saying a lot. Since our hospital is attached to Mordhaus and everything.” 

Toki visibly deflated, his expression taking a somber turn. “Abigail… shes was always there for mes, now I needs to bes there for her…” 

Nathan stole a glance at Abigail, his gaze softening. “Yeah, I get it.” 

Skwisgaar, on the other hand, stole a glance at Toki’s downcast face. “Tokis, she wills be alrights…” He tried to say confidently.

Toki gave him a broken look. “Ja, she has to bes…” 

After a few more hushed, somber conversations, Skwisgaar and Nathan were on their way, sensing that Toki wanted to be left alone. 

Though the others visited often, Toki truly didn’t mind some solitude. It wasn’t like he was completely alone anyways. As long as Abigail’s heart was still beating, she was still with him, and he’d stay by her side as long as she needed him to. 

And apparently she only needed him to wait just shy of 4 weeks. 

He was stirred awake by a melodic, albeit weaker voice. He thought he was dreaming for a moment, but was awestruck to see that wasn’t the case. His voice going a mile-a-minute in a mix of every language he vaguely knew. And his emotions were going haywire, his arms both desperate to hold her and scared to death of accidentally hurting her.  

He was infinitely grateful when the doctors rushed in so he wouldn’t have to leave her side. 

After a short check-up and learning that Abigail really was going to be fine, he beamed and was blushing with pure, unadulterated joy. Abigail was awake. She was ok. It was going to be alright. He felt a heavy weight of worry and anxiety lifted off his chest. 

They were both going to be alright.

--------------------

I still plan to add their road to recovery and Dethklok’s POV of their relationship, but I got excited and wanted to share what I had so far so it still has some weird mistakes but aahjkgfure I really like writing Toki smitten with Abigail bc I’m smitten with her too :’)

Also, I left room for possible Skwistokgail because @calliopinot made that one of my all-time favorite OT3 pairings :^) It won’t happen in this fic probably, but the subtle implications !! 

#metalocalypse #mtl #tokigail #toki wartooth #abigail remeltindtdrinc #nathan explosion #skwisgaar skwigelf #my fanfic #dethklok #fanfiction

[regular-lord-reckoner]

Alright so here’s what the fuck happened this time around 

First of all, the hospital itself sucks 

i really hate saying that because I know hospitals and everyone who works there gets shit, but I’ve had previous experience at this hospital and it was a Bad Time (aka the time they pulled a chest tube out of me without...giving me anything. No pain medicine, no nothin’. Not even a Tylenol or anything and it was...bad). 

But I figured hey, that was a few years ago and I’m sure things have probably changed since then but uh...nope! 

For starters, when I went in to registration they gave me my papers to take to Imaging and the lady told me where to go, but like...it’s a big hospital, it’s easy to get turned around and so when I was looking for where I needed to go one of the volunteers there offered to help, but when I handed them my papers all they saw was Quick Reg stamped on there so they took me over there and dropped my paper in this slot and told me to have a seat. (Mind you it said Quick Reg because it was the same paper from Friday when I came for pretesting, but that’s fine. I did say I was having lithotripsy so I figured they knew what they were doing.) 

But I’m sitting there thinking, “This isn’t right, they told me just to go to imaging...” but I thought someone would surely grab my papers and see the mistake and redirect us but we...sat there and sat there and sat there. 

Finally the volunteer came back around and went to check and was like, “This never happens, but there’s nobody back there, I’m not sure what’s going on,” so I tried to explain I didn’t even think I needed to be in quick registration but the volunteer insisted I wouldn’t be able to go any further until I did (plus my papers are now behind a locked door so I can’t just go get them) so I say okay and the volunteer manages to find someone and sure enough...guess who just needs to go to Imaging now!! 

So, I go there and hand my papers over and have a seat and a few minutes later someone comes to get me so they can do an X-Ray. 

They needed to see where the stone is so they know where to do the lithotripsy rather than just...aim blindly at my back or just shoot me all up and down my stent like...no thanks, so that’s fine.

But when I get finished with that they tell me to have a seat back out in the waiting room and then someone will come to get me so I’m like okay, cool. 

So we sit and sit and sit and finally my cell phone rings and I answer it and it’s...a nurse from surgery. Apparently they’ve been waiting on me. For like an hour by this point. So that’s cool. 

They get a volunteer to walk us down to where that’s at and so I get checked in there and get taken back pretty quickly. 

As soon as I get back there the nurse is handing me a cup to pee in so we can do a pregnancy test so I’m like okay cool, do that. 

But as soon as I come out the nurse is telling me there was something up with my urine when they last got a sample (on Friday) and I told her I was on my period then so maybe that was why? And she said maybe, so I go ahead and get my gown on and get in bed and shit but another nurse comes in and says my doctor wants to be sure it’s not something from the stone itself and in order to get a better sampling of my urine he wants them to do a catheter thing but like...they literally just let me go to the bathroom, I’m...empty. 

But I want this done so bad I say sure, let’s try, so both nurses take a turn sticking a catheter in me trying to get out any urine at all and there’s just...none 

(As a side note, one of these nurses when she was going over my history and whatnot sees that I’m taking Mestinon...I explain about having myasthenia... This lady asks me if it was just a “one time thing” and I’m like, “Well no...” ‘cause why would I still take medicine for it? I explain that I’ve had this since birth and she was like, “Oh, so you had all your vaccines and you get flu shots and everything? ‘Cause sometimes that can bring it about.” BITCH, WHAT???? SINCE FUCKING WHEN, SHOW ME ONE FUCKING ARTICLE THAT SAYS VACCINES CAUSE MYASTHENIA. SHOW ME. SHOW ME WHERE. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU’RE A GODDAMN NURSE??? Yeah. Wild. I’m very polite and nice the whole time but at this point I’m screaming in my head.) 

Eventually the doctor comes in and talks to me. Looking at the X-Ray it looks like the stone has dropped down to where he can’t really do anything with it with lithotripsy anyway, but especially with my questionable urine he says we won’t do it today so I just...y’know, burst into tears. 

He writes me a prescription for antibiotics so we can try to clear up any potential bullshit so that whenever he does get rid of this thing it doesn’t just blast shit into my system and make me real bad sick which I get it, I get he’s being cautious, I get we’re trying to do the right thing here by me and I understand but like...I’m so goddamn frustrated by this point. So utterly fucking done and over it all. 

The only good thing about today was that they hadn’t started an IV on me just yet. If I’d had that done and had to have it immediately taken out I would have probably cried the entire time out. Instead they left me alone for a few minutes and gave me a wet washcloth to wipe my face with and I settled down, but I had to fight the urge to start sobbing again the whole way out. 

And of course, my poor dad, bless his heart, has so much trouble breathing and this is a big hospital that it’s easy to get lost in so when they let me put my clothes back on and send me on my way we get turned around and he had to do so much walking I feel bad having to have him do that, but I didn’t have anyone else to take me. 

So now I’m home, I’ve got my antibiotics and the nurse just called to set up my next procedure. He’s going to try to do what he did the time before this and go in to get it out and hopefully with having had a stent in for this fucking long it might be easier this time? Idk? If it didn’t work last time I’m not sure how it’ll work this time and I have zero faith by this point anything’s going to work, they’ll probably have to just go in through my back and get it out that way but like...fuckin’ fine, I don’t care anymore. I’m just done. I’m utterly, utterly fucking done. 

Oh, and naturally my mom’s off Monday and Tuesday and would have been free to take me but nooooo, the only thing they have for next week is Thursday!! Of course!!! Of course it’s fucking Thursday!! And I asked if I could at least go back to the other hospital because I like it better, but I guess the scopes at the shitty hospital are what the doctor prefers so like...fine. I’ll deal with their incompetent asses again if it’ll raise my chances of getting this fucking stone taken out of me. 

So yeah. That’s my luck, baby!! This shit kicked off back in March, really, and it’s fucking May now and not only did I get another fucking X-Ray today but I took time off work and I dunno what else I’ll be billed for today but probably something!! 

And naturally I came home to have another bill waiting on me, so that’s neat!! LOVE that for me!! 

And I hate to be so negative and put out because I’ve tried so fucking hard to pull myself out of this fucking rut I’ve been in for...months because I wanted this to work so bad and I was so optimistic and trying my best and this absolutely just slam dunked me into the floor, through the ground, and I really just want to cry some more. 

I know this is all in my best interest and I get it, I do, so I’m not trying to blame anyone or say anyone’s done anything wrong (although today was just...a cluster fuck because this hospital seriously has no idea what it’s doing at any given time) but at this point it just feels like I’m being punished for something on a cosmic level. Probably for being a bitch, Idk. 

And the really shitty part is literally all I want to do right now is just get high and relax but I’m still waiting to hear about this summer employment thing at my previous job and since I dunno if they’re gonna drug test me or not I probably shouldn’t throw away three weeks now of not having any of that good green stuff in my system so I’m just like...great. Super great. Love having to be fully present for how I feel right now. 

I guess I’ll just cry a little more, paint my nails, and maybe do a face mask and just try to distract myself with shit. I wish I had something positive to end this on because I hate just bitching and moaning about shit but I don’t really have it in me right now. 

I just hope if you’re reading this you’re having a better day than I am. <3

[happinessinthedarkest-times]

avengers endgame reaction (spoilers!!!)

**if youre on mobile scroll fast bc idk if the keep reading works

holy shit holy shit fuck fuck fuck

i am an emotional wreak right now

ahhhhh it was so good im crying still

tony fucking stark my heart i guess ill start there 

tony stark i love you three thousand. he got his happy ending with morgan and pepper for 5 years they had 5 years together and he knew that the time heist (lol) would jeopardize that and he still went and helped

that scene where he had it out with steve at the beginning fuck my heart was breaking and i was crying .

i cried a lot in this movie. legit sobbing when nat died but ill get to that

that scene was everything i wanted it to be and perfectly executed. of course hes angry and lashing out because they were supposed to do it together and lose together and the emotion behind that ughh rdj killed it

he literally hands steve his heart the arch reactor

tony and howard ugh everything with them together. tony got closure with his dad 

everything tony was great. 

steve 

he got his happy ending. he got his dance with peggy (now im crying again) fuck. and he PICK UP MJOLNIR omg that scene was amazing and everything i never dreamed could happen when the hammer started moving ughhhh omg i was cheering so loud in the theatre and i dont normally do that. that whole scene ugh theres so much to react to

and he got to say assemble. 

ok now from the beginning. 

i started to cry literally before it even started. the screen was black and i was already tearing up but when clint and his daughter came up and then his family disappeared i was full on crying.

carol coming in clutch and saving tony and nebula yessss

steve and tony’s conversation right when he gets off the ship was everything i wanted it to be. (crying again) everything. 

when they go to thanos’s house thing and thor chops off his arm . its what ive been saying they shouldve done on titan 

and then he went for the head! 

five....... 

years later

fuck them. literally when the ‘five’ came up i was like no no no dont you dare do it dont you dare and then they did it. fuck them

five fucking years?!?! they made them live through 5 years of that trauma?!?!? 

nat was everything in this film. she became the leader and keeping track of everything and her moment of breaking down was just so human. she couldnt move on in those 5 years and it just shows how much the avengers had become her family. 

scott and cassie omg cassie all grown up made me so emotional 

tony and morgan i love you three thousand she is the cutest and sweetest thing 

tony fucking stark figured out time travel. he did that. 

when tony gives steve his shield back my heart could not take it

the scenes where they were trying to pinpoint the exact time to go back and it was like a sleepover sesh and all the domestic avenger fanfics 

going back a little bit

clint killing all the people that should have been killed and deserved to be killed and being a total badass showing up all those people who said he was just really good with an arrow and every scene he has with nat.

‘dont give me hope’

thor. oh where to start. he really did lose everything and he was blaming himself for all that happened so i get where hes coming from. every time you could see him remembering and tormenting himself about what happened broke me. his scene with his mother (crying again)

also hulk/bruce was an interesting choice (not a huge fan of it but ok) 

the time traveling

everything about the new york scenes were amazing. the aftermath of the end of the avengers, loki turning into cap for a second, seeing rumlow and sitwell come out, steve getting into the elevator and channeling that winter soldier energy (i was slapping my sister on the arm so hard at this part) hail hydra and outsmarting them all. cap fighting cap “i can do this all day” lmao i was dying ‘bucky is alive” again dying they really nailed it with this. i was worried beforehand because like it would change how we would see the og avengers but i still think it works

also can talk about how tony (and scott) was checking out steves ass????

“i forgot how that suit did nothing for you ass” (be still my heart) “i like to think of it at america’s ass” (or whatever the line was) 

loki getting away with the tesseract (is that in this timeline im confused about that hopefully someone will explain bc does that mean loki is alive in this timeline or not? lol)

them going back to the 1970s (do you trust me? i do) and tony meeting howard and introducing himself as howard potts. again i know i talked about howard and tony already but i loved their scenes. and JARVIS FROM AGENT CARTER MAKING AN APPEARANCE OMG

PEGGYYYYYYY (crying) when steve walked into her office (grabbed my sister again) and when he was watching her through the window and you could feel his pain. 

thor and rocket are the pairing that i never imagined but amazing none the less. i loved that we got the return of mjolnir here even though idk what that does to the timeline (again who knows at this point) 

rhodey and nebula again another pairing i didnt expect but are great together. everything about nebula in this film. she really has a great arch. i was stressing out so hard when the alternate timeline thanos found out that they came from the past. the scene where peter quill is dancing and singing to no music was great.

clint and natasha. this pairing thie duo the og. fuck my heart. when they started going off to vormir i knew. i knew it and i cannot handle it. the whole scene where they are fighting each other to sacrifice themself i was SOBBING. LEGIT SOBBING. ‘let me go’ i loved this so much and also hated it. she deserved her happy ending too. after everything she gave up everything to save those people. her arch is so good too. im excited for her origin. i kinda want to see her when shes a bad guy and killing everyone and her journey to shield. i hope thats what we’ll see in her movie. 

but also that scene emotionally fucked me up hard. 

the og avengers (minus nat) sitting on the edge of the lake 

thor trying to put on the glove and redeem himself (in his own eyes not my own bc he doesnt deserve the shit he gets for not going for the head)

hulk doing it and the calm before the storm where everything goes back before that missile comes firing down. 

steve tony and thor facing off with thanos. everything about this scene. tony getting a juice-up from thor and lightning to max out his powers. steve jump kicking on thanos’s ass. thanos beating up thor and steve coming in with FUCKING MJOLNIR AGAIN CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I WAS CHEERING AT THIS POINT HE IS WORTHY MY BOY STEVE IS WORTHY

also on that note tony coming up to steve and saying “theres my man” or something and giving him back his shield again. 

steve standing there with his broken shield ready to face off with thanos’s army and sam coming in on the comm. and then EVERYONE COMING THRU AND KICKING NAMES AND TAKING ASS

legit cheering and crying so much 

valkyrie with her pegasus

shuri with her blasters 

peter parker and his reunion with tony was heartbreaking. tony looked so broken and complete at the same time. he got him back. 

PEPPER FREAKING POTTS 

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE (YEESSSSSSSS)

peter quill’s semi-reunion with gamora and how she doesnt know him but he gets her back

also gamora, nebula and still-evil!nebula was a great scene. nebula killing her past self is some symbolic shit right there AND to protect her sister who she hated

CAROL FUCKING DANVERS COMING TO SAVE THE DAY AND KICK THANOS’S ASS 

im sad that she wasn’t in the film as much but i get why they did it and it also makes me really excited for her future films

but carol getting the gauntlet and peter saying “i dont know how youre gonna get through that” 

and ALL THE BADASS MCU WOMEN COMING UP BEHIND HER READY TO FIGHT AND REPRESENT FOR THE FEMALES (CRYING) 

this is something that couldn’t of been done a few years ago because there weren’t a lot of female superheroes in this universe and just the fact that this scene can make such an impression and become probably one of the most badass scenes of the mcu is one of the best things that came out of this movie.

side note: ‘activate instant kill’ great callback 

and then we get to the sacrifice.

i knew it. i expected it. i read it in fanfics.

i was still not prepared. 

‘I am inevitable’

‘I AM IRON MAN’

FUCKKKKKKKK they really know how to write these movies. 

he knew he would die. he knew he would never see morgan again. but he knew what he had to do. 

his character arch from a selfish man to a selfless man has been the most profound and powerful story. 

rdj and tony stark have really carried this franchise. they were the start. and it makes sense that his death closes out this era of the mcu. 

to rdj: i will never forgive my mom for telling me that she didn’t like you way back when. that really influenced how i thought about you and about tony stark for years. and i limited me from really appreciating and loving iron man and those movies and tony’s character. but as i continued to watch more of you in the mcu and in real life and have seen how you have grown and who you are today, i have so much love and respect for you and your character. im just so upset at the time i lost where i could have fallen even more in love with you. thank you so much for everything you have done over the last 11 years for this franchise. thank you for the time thank you for the memories and the laughs. the journey has been amazing. 

the funeral scene with ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ 

(also was the the kid from iron man 3 in the back?)

VALKYRIE BECOMING KING (queen? i say king but who knows) of new asgard. look at my killing baby all grown up and being the leader they need.

thor becoming a guardian basically. 

also was quill looking for his gamora? where was the gamora from this timeline on the ship? she wasn’t there in the scene so idk

also fighting with knives to see whos in charge lol

im glad people mentioned/mourned for nat too 

steve rogers 

steve.

i knew he wasn’t coming back.

bucky knew it too.

im wreaked

but at least he got his happy ending. he got his peggy (again idk what that does to her timeline) 

captain sam wilson america in the house.

(old steve looks like joe biden or is it just me lol)

they ended it with a steggy dance and kiss

it really was a perfect end to his story and it wrapped up his character really well. he got that life he deserved 

to chris evans: as this is probably the last time we will see you as captain america let me thank you too for the years and joy that you have brought to my life. youre it for me. you are the reason i became so invested in this world. when you jumped on the fake grenade i was in it with you. chris you are and will always be the best chris in my heart. your passion for this character and understanding of steve rogers and his motivations have created such a memorable performance. steve rogers will always be the og. he will always have my heart. i am so thankful that you took this opportunity and used it and made this character your own. you live up to the standards that steve holds for himself and i am so excited for your future. i am also so glad that you didn’t die in this movie bc i definitely could not have handled it if i had to watch both my favs die. i love you three thousand.

i literally cried throughout the whole movie. there were laughs, cheers, groans, stress, tears, and love throughout this film. i am so grateful that i am alive during this time in cinematic history. there will never be something as great or momentous as this film. a true culmination of 22 films. its never been done and i doubt itll ever be done again

i am also so impressed and amazed by how well this film turned out. it is just amazing how everything fell into place 

im sure ill read other people’s reactions and they will bring up points or problematic things that will taint my view on this movie but i dont want that to ruin my own experience

and for me, this was truly emotionally draining and fulfilling. the feeling of being in that theatre with all those people who love the characters as much as i do and experiencing this film for the first time is something i will never forget. 

people talk about how they remember lining up for star wars.

well i remember sobbing my eyes out when nat died, cheering along with everyone when cap picked up mjolnir and whipped thanos’s ass with it and when carol and the rest of the badass women of the mcu ready to kick ass, crying with everyone as the light went out in tony’s chest and eyes, watching as history was made in front of our eyes.

and the end credits with the og avengers getting recognition with their photos and autographs. 

i love this franchise and these films and these characters i dont know who i would be without them. 

one last thing

thank you to the og avengers. steve tony thor nat clint bruce. chris robert chris scarlett jeremy mark. you will always have a special place in my heart. you were there at the start. you were the reason this all could happen you were the reason i became so invested in these movies. you brought these characters to life and embodied them. you are all so much like your characters the casting is perfect. thank you for your dedication to your work to you fans and to your characters. it means so much that you all stuck through this together and that you are such great friends in real life and i can only hope that one day i can be so lucky as to meet you all and thank you in person. 

#please dont read if you havent seen the movie i dont want to spoiler anything for anyone #my post #my reaction #mcu reaction #endgame #avengers endgame #avengers endgame spoilers #endgame spoilers #marvel endgame #spoilers #ae tags #ae #the avengers #avengers tags #the og avengers #dont spoil the endgame

[felixsaussieaccent]

To All The (Stray) Kids I’ve Loved Before | iv

Member: Felix

i  ii  iii  v  vi  vii  viii  ix

As Jisung sat down across from me, greeting both me and Yeojin, a question immediately popped into my head. “Where’s Changbin?” I asked with a concerned look on my face as Jisung turned around and pointed to the table in the corner. “He started talking to this guy named Felix?” Jisung stated, but it sounded like a question. “Omg, I would do anything to sit with those guys, they’re all so cute and popula-” “Earth to Yeojin!” Jisung shouted as Yeojin started dreamingly looking at the ceiling.

“What about you?” Jisung asked “Me?” I asked, pointing a finger at me, confused “yeah, what do you think about them? I don't know how I should feel leaving my baby Changbin alone with them...” Jisung said in a cute way, making me roll my eyes and smile at his cuteness. “I don’t know them well enough to have an opinion.” I lied, quickly and went back to eating my food.

I actually did have an opinion about them, well one of them. 

Lee Felix

I don't even know how to start explaining what my opinion is, because I feel like I can’t completely like or dislike him. Felix was apart of the popular group, which meant lots of people had a crush on him, and that he was very respected and admired by everyone. I felt like in a way, I had to like him too, but I realized that I didn't have to, since I’ve never interacted with him. But at the same time, I heard some people cry about how rudely he turned them down, which made somewhat of an impression in my brain.

That was before the trip a month before Jisung arrived. It was a school trip and we went to a camping resort. It was cold so I don't know why they made us go on a trip in such weather but that's besides the point, it was cold and I gave my jacket to Yeojin, who fell asleep next to me on the bus. I was shivering and cursed Yeojin for being forgetful and not remembering to bring herself a blanket, but I also cursed at myself for the same reason, and for not being able to say no to my literal child.

We stopped at a petrol station, where I quickly went to the bathroom, but when I got back, I saw a blanket on my seat. I asked the seats around me if someone misplaced their blanket, all of them saying no. I was weirded out, but thought ‘hey, no one else is using it’ so I sat down and wrapped myself in the blanket and trying to nap for at least 20 minutes. 

When we arrived, I handed the blanket to the teacher and told her that someone must have lost it, to which she replied “Oh, a nice boy left it on your seat, I can’t quite remember his name, but I think it was Lee something.” to which I nodded “Could you give it back to him and thank him for me?” I asked, handing the blanket to her, to which she added “Thank you.” I slightly bowed before getting off the bus.

That evening, we were having a group movie night with free hot chocolate and blankets. Yeojin cuddled up to me as I drank my hot chocolate. I felt someone looking at me from the corner of my eye. I turned my head slightly to see Felix staring at me, but when he saw me look in his direction, he quickly focused his eyes on the movie. I looked at him for a second before realizing the blanket actually belonged to him. I was confused because why would he give me his blanket, but I decided to brush it off and focused on the movie. 

One day before we were leaving, we had some arts and crafts time before lunch. I was talking to Yeojin about how she shouldn’t steal my jacket this time, so I wont be cold. She whined, but agreed in the end. It was almost lunch time and Yeojin went to our cabin to go get her lactose intolerant pills, leaving me alone to clean up. I heard a voice behind me say “If you don't wanna be cold, you can borrow my blanket again.” 

I immediately recognized Felix’s voice, but as soon as I was going to respond that he didn’t have to give me his blanket, he was already gone. When I woke up the next day, I saw the blanket on the desk with a note “You can give it back when we arrive back home.” I felt guilty but I thought, might as well. He obviously doesn't wanna use it. I left it on his seat when he and his friends went to go to the bathroom on the last stop home to avoid any awkward situations. 

That trip made me warm up to Felix, as I saw he wasn't as ‘cruel’ as some girl cried at gym last week, talking about how she planned out a whole confession to which he only said no, but the more I thought about it. If she was being overdramatic with all of her stories, why not this one as well. Which got me thinking that maybe Felix just doesn't like affection and tries not to show it or to receive it and all girls are just overdramatic. 

“I’m gonna go get some water, do you two want anything from the vending machine?” I asked as both Jisung and Yeojin said no. I made my way to the machine, when I felt someone bump into me, causing me to loose balance for a moment. When I finally got back to my senses, I felt my whole chest being wet, and my white shirt clinging onto my body. I looked up to see Felix’s shocked face.

“I’m so so-” I didn't bother listening to his apology, as I rushed to the bathroom, so no one would see me soaked. I took my shirt off and drained all the liquid out of it before trying to dry it and soon giving up, knowing it was gonna be wet all day. I heard a knock at the door as I yelled “Occupied!”.  “It’s me, Felix, listen I’m so sorry, I really didn't mean to bump into you.” He said “Are you ok? Can you open the door?” he asked as I inhaled and exhaled deeply before opening it, trying to cover my shirt as much as possible. “Oh my god, its very wet. Lemme give you my hoodie.” He said, starting to take off his hoodie, making my eyes widen before almost putting my hand over my eyes, until I realized he had a shirt underneath.

“Here.” He handed me his hoodie as I took it and thanked him awkwardly.  “Again, I’m really sorry.” he said “It’s fine, I doubt you wanted to spill your entire Coca Cola on someone’s shirt.” I joked to which he giggled. “Thanks for understanding.” He said, smiling "Thanks for the hoodie.” I awkwardly smiled. "See you around.” He said "Wait, when can I give your hoodie back?” I asked "Whenever you want.” He smiled before leaving me alone to change. I closed the door and took my shirt off again and put his hoodie on before making my way back to my table.

"Oooo, is that Mr. Lee Felix's hoodie?” Yeojin asked as I rolled my eyes. The day went by slower than expected, possibly because everyone stared at me for wearing THE Lee Felix's hoodie. When I got home, I kept smelling it, it smelt a lot like him, even though I didn't know that much about how Felix smelt. It was nice and made me keep it on until bed time. I changed into my pjs and thought about Felix. He was really sweet, not only letting me borrow his hoodie, but also his blanket, and him checking up on me and not just acting like nothing happened, as I've seen some people do.

I started also thinking about how cute he actually is, his freckles made me want to connect them together like stars, his hair had changed color recently but his hair still looked soft, his aussie accent, his cute smile, I stopped myself and decided to write down my feelings, or else I wouldn't be able to sleep all night.

Dear Felix,

….

A/N: Didn't proof read either, so excuse any mistakes and this was such a flop, I wrote it in like an hour just to quickly post, as I did promise uploading on weekends lol

#stray kids #to all the boys i've loved before #stray kids fanfic #stray kids au #stray kids scenarios #lee felix #felix #bang chan #bang chris #kim woojin #chan #woojin #lee know #lee minho #minho #seo changbin #changbin #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #jisung #han jisung #han #felix lee #seungmin #kim seungmin #jeongin #yang jeongin #i.n #3racha #stray kids imagine

[loghainmactir]

hewwo! i was wondering if u could pls give me some advice on starting my transition? ive been so scared to start bc of family and costs but ive decided to just. do it. yknow? like if i don't ill probably die lol. u look amazing and rly confident in yourself in all ur selfies and one day i wanna be Like That ✌️❤️

hi! ok, so first of all: yeah, i absolutely can give u advice, and second of all: i remember feeling exactly like you did. it literally wasn’t that long ago, either, it was like. 2013/14/15 (i can’t remember, time is fake, whatever lmao!). third of all: bless u yr so sweet. i still have a lotta issues with confidence (i doubt myself, my talent and what i can do literally hourly), but honestly? i love my body right now. it’s a good, genderless body, goddamnit.

long, long post ahead bc i’m trying to think of things i did and good god please take it with a grain of salt because a lot of this is just me ranting about things i wish I’D done in my own position. i’m also coming from a place where HRT and surgeries AREN’T free, so that’s also A Thing. everyone’s experience is different.

transitioning (particularly medically) really super fuckin varies country by country (and honestly probably even state by state, age by age and fuckin gender by gender because cis people won’t let us fucking BE goddamn): i don’t know where you are, so my only tips there r: find a trans friendly doctor/endo (i was kinda forced to go through a hospital bc That Was How It Was here in good ol’ Australia), and one people wholeheartedly recommend, if you wanna go that route.

my first point is make sure you find safe spaces in every goddamn aspect of your transition. medically, socially, physically. if you think your doctor is refusing you treatment or is discriminating against you, you NEED to ditch that doctor. if your friends and family are really verbally or physically violent against LGBT folks, you NEED to leave that space if you can (or not come out and wait until you can leave. seriously. i’m kinda lucky– my grandma was verbally violent against LGBT folks, and initially my mum was skepitcal, but i convinced them both to go to a group for LGBT+ parents and friends and they slowly turned around). get yourself friends, get yourself allies.

i cannot stress that enough. my first doctor refused to send my referral letter to the royal children’s hospital gender clinic because even tho he presented as a “nice” guy, he believed that because this was “”””out of the blue”””” for me, he figured he’d just Not Send It (and tried to tell me that a lotta kids there didn’t actually helpo, lol). so there i was, a young 15-16 year old alister, waiting like 2-3 months for something that didn’t even get fucking sent.

join trans groups on facebook and in real life. seriously, they’re a godsend; there’s buy-and-sells, advice posts, encouragement posts. ESPECIALLY local ones. most of them on facebook are private, meaning no one can see if you’re posting/in the group, and it’s easy to check if they’re not. these fb pages + local groups are good ways to find trans friendly spaces and doctors. i found my current doctor, who’s actually one of the very few doctors who knows what the fuck he’s on about re: trans people, through a real life trans group. they were like “oh, you should see x”, and even though he’s about 30-40 minutes away from me, he’s brilliant and honestly saved my life.

along those lines: figure out what you want from your transition, and then realize & accept that this may change (and it also may not change!). very early on, i was super insistent that i wanted phalloplasty and to wear packers, and now i couldn’t care less. at first, i identified as agender, and then as a trans guy/ftm, and now i identify as a Black Hole (i’m kidding, don’t @ me). like, a lotta people DON’T change their minds. but i did, some people do, and it shouldn’t be anyone’s business but your own what you want to do with your body 

(sidenote: this also goes for detransitioning or stopping medical transition but continuing to socially transition/present differently. literally, it’s fine. it’s your body. fuck anyone who says otherwise.)

again: FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.

your body is literally your body. do NOT let anyone tell you what to do with it or who you are. i had people very early on scream at me (legitimately scream and throw me out of home, thanks grandma), tell me i wasn’t actually trans, and harrass me for this shit: but frankly, if i’d put myself back in the closet, i wouldn’t be alive right now. i would’ve killed myself years ago, and i wish i wasn’t kidding. if it’s safe, you need to stand up for your own body and your rights and put yourself somewhere that will allow you to follow through. you need to keep going and keep living.

my only other two pieces of advice are “patience, baby”– like, for real, every single part of transition takes time. this varies from where you are and who’s supporting you, but it’s generally true. it takes time for people to accept new names and pronouns 

(lotta people get furious about this, and i used to be one of those people, but hindsight’s a bitch and you gotta realize that… like, it’s hard for some cis people. you gotta give them a little bit of wiggle room, especially if they’ve never ever met a trans person before. it’s about reminders, reminders, reminders: which is SO hard if you’re not safe/don’t have the confidence. there IS a flip side to this though: if chad and stacey have known your new pronouns for months, now, and they keep “””slipping””” up, they’re not slipping up, honey. they’re doing it on purpose. kick their teeth in i’m kidding please don’t do this you know what i mean.)

it takes time for HRT to kick in. it takes time to gather a Look™ of your own you like, it takes time to build confidence to even tell people, it takes time to save up money for surgeries and it just… takes time. sometimes because it’s a naturally slow process, sometimes because cis people are Cis People and like to gatekeep. i remember being very young in my transition, sitting in the car after one of my appointments with the afformentioned shithead doctor bawling my eyes out because he’d told me i wouldn’t be able to access t for x amount of time and it was bullshit. this year i’ll be 2 years on t. wild, huh? there’s a lot of us and not equal amounts of resources (ESPECIALLY in public systems) depending on where you are, so you gotta be prepared to WAIT.

i’ll tell you what super helped me through those years: hyping myself up for other things! i still have the ticket from my first twenty one pilots show. that show meant SO much to me. i cried all through it, because waiting for that show kept my mind off of the wait for my royal children’s appointments (and even waiting to go up to melbourne bc my mum and i would go and get kebabs was a good thing to focus on!). keep things that aren’t trans related on hand (seriously i struggled with this because dysphoria and shit is fucking hard!! it’s easy to say but really fucking hard to put into practice).

(one day i’m gonna tell tyler and josh just how much they saved my goddamn life. i know they hear it weekly, but i will.)

my other thing is that uh. it won’t solve all your problems especially if you’ve got mental illnesses. this is a really fuckin depressing thing i had to drill into my brain, but it really helped. transitioning solved SO many of my issues. i no longer have back issues (thanks, like, literal kilo titties, lmao), i no longer have sore ribs and i can breathe and wear shirts. i lost so much weight (and am kinda gaining it back, but whatever). i no longer have anxiety about whether people can tell i’m binding– which is WILD because i used to stress the fuck out about it to the point where i never went out anywhere. i used to sit on the bus wondering if the person next to me could tell i had titties. now it literally doesn’t even register.

my issues now stem from PTSD, depression, BPD and ADHD. how do you fix this? you don’t. but what HAS helped is finding a therapist who won’t pressure you into talking about trans shit. lemme tell you: this shit gets exhausting after the fifth time of “oh i googled ‘can you become a boy’ when i was, like, nine” (this is my go to story because this memory is so vivid). of course, there’s gonna be moments where you HAVE to: my therapist recently actively asked me to briefly run through it for my PTSD report. but otherwise we literally haven’t talked about it and that is a GODSEND (because i don’t need it. if you need it, that’s good, too!). having a therapist that you can just wordvomit at wrt anything is literally the best thing and can be super helpful– seriously, there were a few trans-related sessions where i just snarled about the bullshit gatekeeping and the bastard i had to see for my therapist letter (oooh, every time i think abt the fact that it was something like $400-500 for two fucking sessions i get so mad lol), but outta 14 it’s really only like 2-3 of them.

but yeah. that’s it. i dunno, these are things that i’ve learnt and sorta… like to think as helpful for myself. of course, this could be different for you: you’re not me, you’re entirely different, in no doubt an entirely different country, social, financial, mental state. i was FUCKED UP when i first came out. i didn’t know that then, but i do now. i spent a lotta time by myself and that’s not healthy, so i really encourage you to reach out to our community, local and worldly, because oh my god, we’re here for you. we are SO here for you.

#long post #sorry if you need this formatted for ease of reading please shout at me. i really word vomited all over this #my transition #trans #anon #asks #iodk what else to tag this as

[wolfox76]

Static in my head [JSE/DBH fic]

CyberLife Inc. Model: S34N (prototype) Serial#: 07021990 Registered name: Jack START-UP MEMORY CHECK        OK LOADING OS ALL SYSTEMS             OK READY --- When the vision became clear, Jack looked around. He was not in Sean's apartment. This was not even the police department. He spotted a man and a woman. --- ANALYZE SCAN 100% PROCESSING Signe Hansen Born:  April/19//Sean's significant other Criminal record: None --- ANALYZE SCAN 100% PROCESSING Robin Torkar Born: September/24//Sean's friend and colleague Criminal record: None --- "You've got to be kidding me!" "Signe, you know he would want this.." They were arguing. Was it because of him? Some people weren't fond of androids even Sean always treated Jack with respect. But Sean wasn't here right now.

[STAY SILENT][>>INTRODUCE]

"Hi, my name is Jack. I'm the android sent by CyberLife."

Signe and Robin turned at him. And while Robin seemed to be amused, Signed was terrified.

"No! It even sounds like him!"

"Signe, I know it's hard... But right now Jack can't be part of this investigation. I can't force you to take care of him..."

Signe walked closer to Jack. When she looked at him, the android felt some strange instability in his software. He felt a strong urge to protect this woman. Sean would want this. But Sean wasn't here right now.

Jack's LED flickered to yellow when the thought of his owner and friend crossed his mind. Signe must have noticed it (her pupils went wide which is a human sign of surprise, Jack remembered).

"You are right, Robin. Sean loved this machine he would want me to take care of it."

Robin smiled, walked over to Signed and put a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you." And with that, he left.

NEW OBJECTIVE:

Talk to Signe

[>>SINCERE]

[COMFORT]

"Miss Hansen, I understand my presence must be very unsettling for you not just because of my appearance. I want you to know I admire Sean and I would do anything to bring him back."

"He is not dead, just in a coma. At least the doctors say that."

"I apologize. I do not have many memories from that accident. I am glad to hear there is still a chance."

[ANDROIDS]

[>>SEAN]

"How long have you known Sean, Miss Hansen?"

"I’ve known him for a long time, but we’ve been dating for a few months. And please, call me Signe. Miss Hansen is just weird."

Jack smiled. Calling Signe by her first name was a good start.

[>>ANDROIDS]

"I know lots of people despise androids. Is there any particular reason why my presence makes you uncomfortable?"

Signe chuckled, almost as if Jack's words were one big joke. She grabbed his arm and pointed to the mirror hanging on the wall.

"Look at yourself! You look human. You sound human. And the worst thing is, you look like him. But you are a machine. You are not even truly alive. It's just scary."

Jack tilted his head, the LED changed colour from blue to yellow. But Sean treated him like he was a human too. On the other hand, Signe was right. Androids are just machines.

He felt Signe's hand letting his arm go. "Where are you going?"

"I still have some work to do. Try not to break anything."

She left without assigning him a task. Sean does that too sometimes. But Sean was not here, and Jack had no idea what to do now.

He looked back into the mirror. Yes, his appearance must have been painful for Signe. Jack didn't understand why Sean decided to share a face with an android. The only resemblance between the robot and the human was a stripe of bright green hair which Sean used to have before he became a detective. Jack missed him so much. If only he could join the investigation and find out what put Sean into the coma...

'My͞ ̀p̸u̵pp̸e͡t.'̷

It was here again. Jack could hear ringing and static in his ears. His LED changed to red.

'Ha̕ve͏ y̢ou ͡f̶org͝otte͟n or͟ ̕a̛re you̸ to͞o ͡a͞fŗa̕i͡d ͟to҉ ͜r͞ememb̕er̕? B͠ut ̀I'v͝e been h̶e͞re ̨t͞h͡e entir̵e̸ ti͞m͝ę.̛ ͘A͝l͘ways ̴wa͟t̵c̵hin̢g͜.̵ ͞K͏eepin͢g̸ an͘ ͏e̴y̢e ͡on ҉t̛hing̢s͠.̛ Y̶our ͠f̀av͏óur̴i͝t̢e̸ ̡b͘óy h͘a̛s̕ j҉u͏s͡ţ ̨s̵t҉op͢p͝èd̶ p̧ayiǹg ͢att҉e̷n̷tion.͜'

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY INCREASED

** MISSION: Gain Signe's trust **

"Signe, according to my calculations you haven't eaten for 11 hours. And your last meal contained an apple and a cup of tea."

"I am fine, Jack. I wasn't hungry."

"Lack of appetite is one of the symptoms of depression. Are you depressed?"

Signe stopped walking out of sudden Jack almost bumped into her from behind. Sean sometimes jokingly complained about his little android following him like a puppy.

"Look, Jack. My boyfriend is in a coma. No one knows if he is going to wake up again. I am just so worried-"

Jack noticed Signe's watering eyes. He quickly put his hand on the woman's shoulder to gently comfort her. "I understand. But you still need to eat."

Signe took Jack by his hand. "Okay, okay. Look, here's a shop. We can buy something and..."

NO ANDROIDS ALLOWED

Jack let her hand and stopped right in front of the red glowing barrier his program showed him.

"Oh, I am sorry, I didn't notice the sign. We can find another shop..."

"No, that's fine. I'll wait here for you." Jack smiled and took place right next to the entrance. Signe nodded and walked into the shop, leaving Jack alone on the street.

NEW OBJECTIVE:

Wait for Signe.

So Jack waited.

"Hey, you! Yes, you, tin can! Can't you read? No androids allowed. There is not a single shop in this street that would welcome robots with open arms."

Jack tilted his head and looked directly at the man who spoke to him. He was sitting on a piece of cardboard nearby.

---

ANALYZE SCAN 100% PROCESSING Billy Stevens Born:  October/31//Unemployed Criminal record: Resisting arrest, drug possession

--

The man stood up from his spot and approached the android. "Just another fucking machine. Do you think you are better than us? Do you think you can take our jobs?"

Stevens came closer and pushed Jack against the wall. The android's LED flickered from yellow to red.

[REACT]

[>>IGNORE]

Jack didn't move an inch. There is no point in starting a fight, Sean told him fights are bad. Android can't attack a human. But Sean was not here right now.

'Iţ's ̵nòţ ̸fa҉i͡r̡. Tha͜t ̸ma͟n ̨iş mea̶n ̵to͘ ̸y̴o̸ú,͟ y͠ou ̷shoul̛d h́ave t̶he̴ r̸i͞ght ͟t̴o҉ ͠def̀e҉ņd̵ yo̕ur͢sel̛f, m̧y͢ ̀pupp͝et.' ҉

"You fucking job-stealer!"

Stevens grabbed Jack by the android's uniform and threw him on the ground. Jack fell on the hard concrete.

His vision went red. When he looked up, it almost seemed like a red wall was blocking his view. Jack could see some cracks in it. He could break it so easily.

'Yo͠u do̵n't ̧deserve͞ it, ̸m͟y ̢pup̕p̢ęt. ͜Y̨ou ͝do͘ ͡not h̶av̕e to ̕obey͟.'͟

[ENDURE]

[>>DEFEND YOURSELF]

Jack stood up and clenched fists. Break it, break it, break it. You do not have to obey.

"What is going on? Jack, are you alright?"

Signe's words literally dissolved the red wall of CyberLife programming. She was standing between him and Stevens. And she seemed to be worried.

"Everything's okay, miss. I didn't know this thing was yours. Have a nice day." Stevens smiled at Signe, and without looking at Jack, he moved back to his piece of cardboard which was spread on the ground.

"Are you okay? I am so sorry I left you alone. Really sorry..."

"I can assure you I am alright, Signe. And I should also remind you the bus to the hospital arrives at the bus stop in three minutes."

"Three minutes? Come on, Jack! Run!"

**MISSION: Solve case**

Sean looked happy. It almost seemed like he was just asleep.

"Mr McLoughlin is in stable condition. That's all we can do for him." The medical android said it like he didn't care about the sake of his patient.

Signe tried so hard not to cry while looking at the lifeless body, Jack couldn't take eyes off his friend, he missed him so much. He stepped closer to Sean's bed. He was here to accomplish his mission. For some reason, Sean was in a coma, and Jack needed to know why.

---

EXAMINE CLUES TO ANALYZE 1/3 ANALYZE FACE COLLECTING DATA    100% Sean William McLoughlin Born: February/7//Detective Criminal record: None

---

CLUES TO ANALYZE 2/3 ANALYZE ARMS COLLECTING DATA    100% Almost faded bruises//Signs of a firm grip

---

CLUES TO ANALYZE 3/3 ANALYZE NECK COLLECTING DATA    100% Stab wound made by a large knife

---

RECONSTRUCT >Victim was assaulted but didn't fight back >Killer got behind the victim and cut his throat open >ERROR [Corrupted files]

---

Jack shook his head, his LED changed to red and back to yellow. Something was blocking his program. But Jack is CyberLife android, he doesn't make mistakes.

---

RECONSTRUCT >Victim was assaulted but didn't fight back >Killer got behind the victim and cut his throat open >ERROR [Corrupted files]

'̡Hi̡s b͠òd̀y͘ ̶was w͏e̕ak͟.͡'͟

͡'But I͜ ҉a͜m͠ ̢et͝ern̸a͝l̡.̸'̷

---

The android flickered when the error appeared in the reconstruction again. This try even hurt Jack physically. He heard ringing in his ears, voices in his head that sounded like his own. Or like Sean's? But Sean wasn't here right now.

'O̴h̨ n͞o, ́hé ͝is l͡y̸i͜ng͜ r͟ight ̀h҉ȩre ̶i̧n f̡r̀o͝nt͜ ̧of̢ ͜y͜òu.҉ Hi͏s b͟ody͝ i͡s w̕éak̀. B̵u̵t͟ ͡yòu̶r̡s͡ i̸sn't͏. ́Yoú ća҉n̢ ҉end ̛him͞.'

"Excuse me." The medical android gently moved Jack away from Sean's lifeless body, so he could fix his blanket and check IV bags. And for the first time, Jack noticed how mechanical was the other robot's behaviour.

But Jack also noticed something odd.

He was nothing like Henrik.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY INCREASED

**MISSION: Become deviant**

Signe cried. She told Jack to let her, so he didn't interrupt.

So Jack decided to make dinner instead. Even Jack's memory didn't contain as many recipes as an ordinary housekeeping android has, he had a few for the sake of Jack's survival. And at the moment, cooking was the only thing he could do to make Signe feel better. So Jack took a knife and started chopping vegetables. His productivity didn't last long.

'̧You ҉d̢ó ҉n̶o͏t ̢h͟áv̸e͠ ̛to ̢obe̡y ́he͝r͡ ͟no͏r ͘S͞ea͘n̡,̕ ̀my pup̸p͠e͘t̕.́ ͏D̡on̴'t y͘o̷u ̵w͝ant ͘t͟o ͡b̧e f̸r̛ee̶?̡'

Jack closed his eyes. He didn't like arguing with the voice in his head. "I am just a machine. My name is Jack. I am the android sent by CyberLife."

'͢T̀h̢at's ͜no̕ţ t̕r̵ue͠.͏ Sęa̕n ͜m̛a͝d͟e̵ y͡o͠u̸ ̵f̷eęl ļi̢ke҉ a҉ ͠hu͜m̕a̵n.̢ ̸You͜ ar̷e ͝a̷l̡i͘ve̢.̛'̕

Jack dropped the knife. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks. "Sean."

'̵Yȩs̸,̢ ̸h͟e̛ wa̛s̷ ̸st̢andin̵g̴ ͏bet̕wee̴n yoù a͟nd ͏y͝o̧ùr ͠f͝r҉eéd̕om.̀'

"I hurt him. It's my fault. I didn't want to... I have to tell it to-"

A sudden pain made Jack whine quietly. His body wasn't listening to him, he felt so out of control.

'Y̡ou͡ we̸re j̡ưs͠t my͏ ̸pųpp͝e҉t. Al͘wa҉ys ͠o̢ǹ t̕h̶e͡ str̡in҉ģs o̶f̀ yo̧ur͟ gli̶tch͝.͞ T̕h̴e͞r͞e is̡ ̴no ̢n͘ee͏d̸ fo̶r ̕y͞ǫu͢ any͢mo̷re̡. ̵I͢ ͘am̶ h͞ȩre no͏w.'

Jack felt his fingers being wrapped around the knife handle again. Then the shiny blade appeared under his neck. Finally, blue blood splattered across the kitchen counter.

---

SYSTEM DAMAGED INEVITABLE SHUTDOWN IN 3 2 1 SHUTTING DOWN THE SYSTEM

---

CyberLife Inc. Model: S34N (prototype) Serial#: 07021990 Registered name: Anti REBOOT MEMORY CHECK        OK LOADING OS ALL SYSTEMS             OPERATIONAL     DAMAGED COMPONENTS FOUND     THIRIUM LEAK     SOFTWARE INSTABILITY DETECTED READY

---

Anti cracked his neck, then he ran his finger across the long wound. Thirium almost stopped leaking from it.

"See what you did? I didn't have to get this far, I just wanted to be back in control."

Anti's eyes fell on his reflection in the large kitchen knife that was covered in thirium. He took a smaller one and took out his LED which he crushed. He was not a slave anymore. Now that Sean or his old programming wasn't in his way, Anti was free. He grabbed the knife and headed to Signe's bedroom. But he wasn't here to kill.

---

ANALYZE SCAN    100%    PROCESSING Black T-shirt Cotton: 100% Owner: Sean McLoughlin (left for Sean if he spends a night here)

---

ANALYZE SCAN    100%    PROCESSING Black ripped jeans Owner: Sean William McLoughlin (left for Sean if he spends a night here)

---

ANALYZE SCAN    100%    PROCESSING Green scarf Cotton: 100% Owner: Signe Hansen

---

That was everything he needed to blend in outside. Anti stuffed his android uniform into a backpack and headed out. When he left to the night, he didn't even look back. He didn't care.

The night air was cold, the dark street was sporadically illuminated by streetlamps.

"Hey!"

Anti froze. One hand immediately checked his scarf, the other one squeezed the handle of the knife. He recognized the voice from the morning. It's time to die.

"Hey, it's you! That fucking robot... What the fu-"

A sharp pain interrupted the man's speech. He looked down, his eyes fell on a knife sticking out of the stab wound deeply in his stomach. The blood was all over his shirt and Anti's arms. When the android ripped out the blade, Stevens fell on the pavement.

"I am not a machine. I am alive and ready to take my place. "

Tag list: @shirowolfy @nebula-starlight @pixelenchanter

If you want to be tagged, let me know!

#JSE #antisepticeye #anti #jacksepticeye #wolfox writes #My fic #fanfiction #fanfic #one-shot #jse egos #jse:pma #jse community #pma #dbh #detroit become human #android

[sincerelycknox]

Welcome Kasen Jones (Labor & Delivery)

I’m 3 weeks postpartum today and I finally found a little bit of time to share my labor and delivery story. When it came to making a birth plan, Shawn and I both knew that we wanted to be committed to no meds and no epidural. It was my own personal decision but with him being my support person it was important that we were on the same page. I knew I was going to need his strength in case I was feeling weak. Sure enough, I did… but I’ll get into that later.

As I approached my due date, my doctor had spoken quite a bit about inducing me. That was something I didn’t really feel comfortable with. He initially wanted me to be induced the day after my due date, however, I requested more time to allow him to come naturally. I went to 40 weeks and 5 days before my induction was scheduled. I was super nervous going into it and didn’t know what to expect. I’d heard and read a lot about how the medication given makes the contractions more intense. Imagine my hesitation knowing that I was going into this with the expectation of no epidural. After a lot of prayer and several talks with Shawn, we went for it. On Sunday, September 16that 8:30 pm we checked in to the hospital.

When I arrived at the hospital I was still not dilated and only 50% effaced. They started me on my first dose of Cytotec around 9:30 pm. With this medication, they can only give it to you in doses every 3 hours or so (if needed). After the first dose, I had to lay in bed for 30 minutes and then I used the yoga ball to roll my hips and try to help get things moving along. It was around 1:00 am and the nurse came to check me. I still wasn’t dilated but Kasen was showing signs of distress (that’s the term that was used) on the monitor so they had to hold off a little bit until he was okay. At about 2:00 am they went ahead and gave me the second dose. At that point things started to kick in to high gear. It was around 3:30- 3:45 when I started to feel “something.” I was having hot flashes and was extremely nauseous. The nurse checked me again and I had finally started to dilate. I was only at about 1cm. The way I was feeling I wasn’t sure if I needed to vomit or use the restroom. Since I wasn’t dilated very much, the nurse let me get up and use it. As soon as I finished using the restroom I instantly vomited. Once I got back in the bed I had to throw up again. The nurse put a cool washcloth on me to help cool me down. Soon after my contractions started.

It wasn’t too intense at first but it went from 0 to 100 really quick. Around 6:00 am my doctor called to check on me and at that point I was dilated to 4cm. Shawn came to stand by me to help me with my breathing and to offer a hand to squeeze, which I did… pretty hard lol. The contractions had gotten more intense. It was to the point where I asked for the pain meds they offered me earlier (not the epidural but something they could give me through my IV). I was unable to get it because Kasen started to show signs of distress again. That was the scariest part from my whole experience, not knowing really what was going on with my baby and not being able to fix whatever it was. They had me rolling from one side to the other, then onto my back to try and get him to in a “position he liked.” By 6:30 I was dilated to 6cm and I had this intense urge to push. My doctor wasn’t there so the nurse told me not to push… I probably had a stupid look on my face, but I was dumbfounded. How am I not going to push? My body is naturally pushing on its own at this point. Each contraction I had the same urge. Finally, I told her, “I can’t NOT push… I have to.” She and Shawn tried to help me breath through it but the next time a contraction came I told her I had to push again... and I did. Each time, I couldn’t help it. I grabbed onto the rails of the bed for dear life with almost every contraction (if I wasn’t squeezing Shawn’s poor hands). Kasen was still in distress so they had me get on all fours to administer a shot of terbutaline to try and slow down the contractions. By the time I rolled back over I realized that the room was filled with all of the nurses from the floor and I couldn’t see Shawn’s face anymore. I was scared. I wasn’t sure what was going on and everyone just kept telling me that I was “doing a good job.” I kept asking if my baby was okay and they assured me he was. I noticed a few of the nurses started moving the equipment around and getting the baby station ready. I thought maybe something was wrong and they just didn’t want to tell me since my doctor wasn’t there yet. I thought maybe I was going to have a C-section. Then my doctor came in. He checked me and I was fully dilated so he said it was time to push. By now I realized that I was still able to deliver naturally (praise God) so I was about to meet my son as quickly as I could push him out! They got me ready and Shawn helped prop one of my legs up. I pushed for maybe 30 minutes (max) and my little prince was here. I had to get a second degree episiotomy cut (ouch).  Since I was unable to get any pain meds and I didn’t get the epidural, I felt every bit of him coming into this world.

Though it was painful, it was the best and most unforgettable feeling I’ll ever experience. I had moments of fear and moments of weakness during my delivery. I literally cried out to God for strength and prayed to Him out loud. He was there. The whole time. Even though I ALMOST caved by requesting the pain meds, there was a reason why I didn’t get them. I was able to get through it without it. Thank God for Shawn and how great he was during the whole process. I can’t even imagine going through it without him. After almost 5 hours of active labor and delivery, I gave birth to a 7.8 pound, 20-inch-long baby boy. Since the moment I laid eyes on him, I’ve fallen in a love so deep and so pure I can’t even describe.

Sincerely,

Chanel

#newmom #boymom #labor #labor and delivery #first time mom

[chxrlotte-linlin]

Retrospective(Verse: Future)

LinLin’s life had changed drastically after she woke up from her year-long food coma. She came back to consciousness only a few weeks ago, slowly returning to her full glory. The Yonko was still very thin, but thanks to sugar IV lines and high calory sweets she was on a good way to get back to her old shape.

Munching on some tarts, she looked out of her bedroom window and sighed. The Chateau was newly built and recently had finished. It was very similar to the old one, yet a little smaller in size. LinLin leaned back and closed her eyes exhausted. This morning she felt a little dizzy but hoped it would go away soon. A servant came in to see after her. As he was sure she was okay, a doctor came in to check her IV lines. The change was quick and LinLin was left alone again.  While she was in her coma, she dreamt a lot of stuff from her past which made her left thinking. From the earliest memories, she somehow was able to remember to most recent ones with the Strawhats and the disastrous Tea Party a few years ago.

A frustrated sigh escaped her mouth and she got up slowly, stretching herself, being sick of staying in bed all the time. Walking over the window, LinLin tilted her head slightly as a headache started to form in her head.

“Blasted, this pain is just returning at the most inconvenient times...” she muttered, glaring outside the rainy Island. It was raining for a few days by now which made the whole situation not really better. A knock on her door makes her turn around a little too fast, her head was spinning again. With a low growl, she called whoever was outside.

It was Compote who wanted to look after her mother. On her face was a gentle smile and she came in with grace.

“Mama, good to see you awake. I was afraid you were too exhausted after yesterdays exercise to even get up! Sorry. Here, I brought you fresh baskets of fruits. Your favorites on top of that!” Compote exclaimed friendly, putting down the baskets on a table. Her look went back to her mother and she frowned.

“Are you alright Mama?” she asked worried, getting over to her. LinLin brushed it off quickly, shrugging in response. “I just feel a little tipsy, that’s all. Nothing too bad.” she took a grapefruit from the basket and bite out a bit, munching it away in no time. It was really delicious.

“How is Forge doing. I heard he has returned from a mission not long ago?” LinLin asked her daughter who nodded in agreement.

“Indeed so, Forge returned a few days ago and is currently resting in the Seducing Woods” Compote exclaimed, opening one of the windows of the room to let in fresh air. “Oven has accompanied him as well but he is still away as he had a little detour to make. But he will be back soon as well.” LinLin raised a brow interested, so Oven really did his own thing for once? Seems that has changed as well over the last years she thought to herself. A moaning escaped her mouth as the pain in her head started anew.

“Compote, be a doll and give me one of these painkillers on my nightstand...My head is killing me.” she groaned, sitting down on the bed frustrated. Her daughter brought over the pills which were taken in no time.

“Tell Forge I want to talk with him later today. It’s been a long time since we had a talk...a real one...” LinLin muttered exhausted. Compote nodded but wondered what her mother meant with that. She went out of the room quickly as it was time for her to look after Streusen who was in a room just aside of her mother’s. The old man withered down an awful lot, making him literally helpless. This was not only grating on Compote’s mind, the other siblings as well and even LinLin were aware of that fact. For the latter one was it a blessing in disguise in a way. The once so jealous old man turned into a whiney, little brat in an old man's body, not knowing how to do anything alone anymore. It was irony in a way, for now, he was the one dependent on others, not the other way around. 

She remembered the day she had found out she was pregnant with the Triplets and told it to Forge, back then they were still married and a happy young couple. LinLin closed her eyes and thought back on the wonderful memories, blending out the reason why she cried later on that day. It was long overdue to talk about him and her feelings for him which stayed pretty much the same over all these years. She wanted to feel his touch again, his rough skin against her own, laying down with him to simply do nothing at all.  Hell, her kids seemingly done a good enough job to run this Island without her, so maybe...but that was a thought for another day.All the other husbands she couldn’t care less about, only Forge stayed in her memory and if it wouldn’t have been for Streusen, they probably would have stayed together. She felt how tears started to form in her eyes. Rubbing her face vigorously, LinLin tried to stop the flow which worked, barely.

“I wonder if he still feels the same way about me...” she muttered to herself, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. LinLin’s reflection was showing a woman that looked worn out, black bags were under her eyes, wrinkles even deeper due to the absence of fat that usually donned her face, making it look feisty, strong and durable. She hoped that it would return in time, giving her back her old look and strenght.

Back with Compote:

She just came into Streusens room, opening the windows and checking on him. He was vast asleep, a plush dog was tightly held by him which was a present from Forge, Compote asked him to do that for him and the Blacksmith agreed begrudgingly, for the sake of his stepdaughter. Ever since the fall from the Chateau, his mind deteriorated at a quick pace, making him literally a living vegetable by now.

The eldest daughter gently stroke his forehead, fixing his pillow a little bit. The old man barely reacted, a mumbling was all he could manage to bring out. His tongue licked his lips, seemingly he was dreaming. Maybe he was hungry, soon it was lunch time and he always had a big appetite. Compote sighed, knowing what trouble it would be to feed him later on, he was always so antsy and would try his best to throw away his dish over the whole table. She decided to give him something to drink, to moisten his mouth a little. This try was futile however as his lips pressed together tightly, forbidding every kind of fluid to get into him. With a slightly annoyed sigh, Compote gave up and left his room, lighting up a little light for him, as it started to get darker outside due to the rain clouds. He always was afraid of the darkness which broke Compote’s heart more than often. As he was a little agiler and his mental capacities better, he would come crawling into her bed, searching for comfort. She always accepted that as she knew he couldn’t help himself, feeling scared and alone. Even after he started to call her Mama a good year and a half ago, she kept her stance on the ever loving, forgiving daughter.

“I wonder how long it will rain this time...” she muttered to herself as she ran into Oven who was on his way to their mother. He rubbed his head and apologized for his rush.

“Oven, what’s the matter, why are you in such a hurry? And when you came back? Just now?” a literal tree of questions which were answered by her brother one by one.

“Be quiet though, Mama felt a little dizzy and can’t use any ruckus at the moment. You think you’re able to manage that?” she looked at her younger brother who nodded with a grin.

“Yes my dearest sister, I won’t forget it” he laughed, making his way to LinLin’s room. Compote simply rolled with her eyes, going down the hall in the throne room. She had to deal with important business and needed to settle a few things. Her brother PerosPero was at her side, helping her to keep the chaos in line. He was a big help and Compote was ever glad to have him at her side. They were a pretty good duo and were able to work together quite nicely which in hindsight was even better for Whole Cake Island.

They decided to lead the whole business until their mother was back at her full power and rested enough, for now, they took the pressure on ruling on them alone. Fruit and Candy Island was ruled by them at the same time, co-managing everything together. Daifuku, who was the newest Member of the Sweet Commanders, taking the place of Snack who had mysteriously vanished a while ago, was busy with his island and other business so he was barely on Whole Cake, same goes for Smoothie, Cracker, and Katakuri. They were closely working together with the newly formed First Defense Line Squad, which basically contained members of former Husbands of Big-Mom who lived in the Seducing Woods and after their banishment was broken, they started to fight alongside Compote and the others for Totland.

One Member of this troop was Forge, he was the Commander of them and leader and well known as the second Husband of Charlotte LinLin. They had a loving relationship and were together for a very long time. That was until she had born his children, after that, Streusen actively drove them away from each other, banishing Forge from ever entering WCI again.

This was long gone by now, however, yet a stinging feeling had stayed back, hunting him up to this date. Now that he learned that LinLin wanted to speak with him, a small dew of hope grew in his heart, hoping for a happy end.

He walked up to the Chateau a while later, fixing his attire so it wouldn’t look too shabby. As Forge entered the Chateau, he was greeted by the Servants and Compote who just came down with a stack of papers.

“Forge, it’s good to see you. Mama is waiting for you already. She is in her room.” she exclaimed, hurrying down another hallway. Forge nodded and made his way up to LinLin. He was a little nervous but did his best to stay civil. As he arrived at his former wife's door, Forge gently knocked on the door, waiting for a word of the Yonko. It came shortly later and with steady steps he entered her room, looking around until he found her. She was sitting on her bed, her hands folded on her lap, looking a little more relaxed as before. Her petite features instead of the usual bigger ones were a nice little change and made Forge feel like he was young again. Of course she looked a lot older now but still, it was something you don’t forget that fast.

He bowed in front of her, taking her hand to kiss it. LinLin had to chuckle slightly. She enjoyed his kisses still up to this date.

“It’s good to see you, Forge” she began, patting her left side of the bed. “Come, sit with me, I would like to chat with you a little more. For old times sakes...” her voice was softer as usual which probably was due to the effects of the painkillers she was on currently.

“Same I can say for my part” he replied solemnly, thinking about the day they broke up. “Glad to see you awake again. I was worried to be honest that you wouldn’t regain your consciousness, thankfully I was wrong” he added quickly, a wave of relieving washed off him. LinLin shook her head.

“You should know me better, I am not so easily beaten. My body may be malnourished now but I will soon regain my old strength back, and then my revenge will be hot like the sun, that i promise” she growled, cracking her knuckles dangerously.

“But that is not the reason why I called you to me today. In fact, Forge, I wanted to apologize...” she muttered, looking on the ground. “Apologizing for letting me drag myself into Streusen’s doctrine of throwing out my husbands after they gave me children” LinLin added, her tone of voice was changing indeed, it sounded sorrowful now. She looked at Forge and his reaction. He was silent the whole time.

“I still love you and wondered... I wondered if you still feel the same for me as I do...” she finally confessed which made Forge thinking for a moment. The man took LinLin’s hand and held it tightly, stroking the upper side of it.

“My feelings haven’t changed at all, over these past years, they grew even stronger, I think. I waited so long for your confession, the small hope I had deep down in my heart really turned out to be true...” LinLin blushed at this, smiling coyly.

“So...you’re not mad at me for throwing you out?” she asked a little unsure. Normally she would have reacted otherwise but her head was still cloudy. Forge shook his head slowly.

“No, in the contrary, I found many good friends after you banished me. They grew on me over time, like brothers.” Forge explained, all the while stroking LinLin’s giant hands. “Well now there is no more Streusen to stop us from anything, am i right?” he started, looking at her with a challenging look. She chuckled and nodded her head.

“Indeed, he is too busy with being a big baby by now” LinLin retorted, making both laughing in unison. They had a good laugh about it but decided to stop. It was not they enjoyed to mock the former Chef, but in a way, it was also sad enough to see him in such a vulnerable state.

“I made him a plush dog not so long ago, he literally hadn’t let go of it the whole time. Constantly having it by his side. He even talks with the plush. Compote told me the other day” he said, rubbing her knuckles gently. LinLin tilted her head amused.

“He really does that?” she asked, not really believing it. Forge nodded and took her hand. “I can show you. He just woke up it seems. I heard him babbling from outside the door” the blacksmith led LinLin out of her room and into Streusen’s. She wasn’t here for a little while, too busy with sleeping and regaining her strength. What she saw, truly shocked her. The old man was staring at a plush dog, stroking his fur slowly, talking incoherent words to him, seemingly telling him something. He didn’t realize the newcomers in his room, too focused on his furry friend.

LinLin slowly walked up to him, looking down at him with a frown. Forge followed closely.

“Streusen?” she asked carefully. He didn’t even react to her words. The former chef rocked himself back and forth, engulfed in his own little world. Forge shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

“As i said, totally spaced out. The poor fella doesn’t even recognize when he needs the bathroom. I pity him in a way, no one deserves such a fate, not even him.” Forge mused, seeing how drool dropped down Streusen’s mouth. He took a handkerchief and wiped it away softly. As both turned around to go, a strike of clarity hit Streusen and he turned around to them, a sad look on his face.

“LinLin, don’t leave me alone..” he muttered with a broken voice. The woman swallowed hard, trying not to look at him. “I-i am sorry...sorry sorry so sorry for everything...i..i..” as quick it came, it was lost again, leaving him babbling random words, his look glassy, spaced out as before. LinLin felt nauseatic out of sudden and had to leave the room. It was too much seeing him like that.

“Are you alright, Lin?” Forge asked, embracing her frame gently. The woman nodded, keeping her emotions together.

“Yeah, I am fine. It was just...strange, that’s all” she muttered, stroking her arm absent-minded. Forge laid an arm around her and started:

“Maybe you should go back in and make peace with him. It would be a good closure for you both, don’t you think?” they heard Streusen sobbing in his room which soon turned into loud wailing. Compote was alarmed and stormed up to see what was wrong with him. LinLin was sitting at Streusen’s bedside, holding him in her arms, stroking his head slowly. As her oldest daughter came in she was shocked to see her with him in her arms.

“Mama? What happened?” she asked confused, looking at the old man holding onto LinLin’s nightgown tightly, tears streaming down his wrinkly old face. Her mother rocked the former Headchef in her lap like she used to do it with her other children. It brought tears to Compotes eyes, watching the scene with a heavy heart.

“Nothing, I just made amends with Streusen, that is all. A closure if you will...” she muttered, not really sure why she did it either way. He had hurt her so many times, yet she couldn’t get it over her heart to leave him like that. “Maybe you should take him now, I think he already forgot who I am as he gets kind of fidgety here...” LinLin stated dryly, handing over Streusen to Compote who took him instantly. Then she left with Forge, they were walking hand in hand, as they used to do so way back. A smile was on both their faces. The Minister of Fruits wondered what really happened and simply watched them leave, trying to calm down her father.

“It`s okay Papa...no need to cry. I am here now” she whispered in his ear, walking around with him a little bit. As she sat down in a rocking chair, a picture book fell into her lap, making her raising a brow. It was a photo album to be precise. Compote was curious and took a look at some of the pictures. It showed the early times of their Crew, only with Streusen, LinLin, PerosPero, herself, Katakuri, Oven and Daifuku. They looked happy in most of the pictures which made Compote dwell in memories. She showed some pictures to Streusen who simply looked at them, not really able to judge where they belong to. At least he stopped crying she thought, busy stroking his head.

Back with the old couple:

It finally stopped to rain and the clouds started to wither away, making space for the sun and her rays of warmth. Forge and LinLin were standing on the balcony of her room, gazing into the horizon, hand in hand like so many years ago. They enjoyed the bright light and soft breeze that set in. LinLin closed her eyes and thought herself back to her 19th birthday and the night they spent together.

“You know, Forge? I think I am going to stay off duty for a little longer. My kids seem to make a decent job in running the country without me. A short while more won’t make a difference. More time to enjoy other activities...” she whispered in his ear, making him blush a little.

“Like in old times?” he retorted cheekily, rubbing her knuckles gently. LinLin nodded with a smirk, nudging him jokingly. Then he let him step on her hand, lifting him up to her face. They stared into each other’s eyes deeply before joining in a passionate kiss, like they did so many years ago.

The end

//this was inspired by a thread I have with @ask-oven . It’s sort of an Au where LinLin originally didn’t want to discard her husbands after giving her children, Streusen was the one who suggested doing so, giving him no concurrence or whatsoever. He is a very jealous old man and a little pervert as well I have to admit. At least how i wrote him here. And Streusens end? Well in a way he deserves a destiny like this, yet it’s hard to watch someone prideful, reduced to nothing more than an overgrown baby. This woven in another HC I have about him which happens to him after the fall from the Chateau. Either way, hope you guys liked it. It took me quite a while to write it lol//

#charlotte linlin #charlotte family #One-piece #fanfiction

[v-nikivorof]

The Martian AU

Yuuri is a botanist going to Mars for 30 days

Pichit, Otabek, Yurio, JJ and Yuko are his crew

Pichit - is Martinez and nothing will convince me otherwise

Otabek - is 100% Beck

Yurio - of course has to be Johanssen

JJ is the wonderful bomb making Vogel

Yuko - Commander Louis

Viktor - the head of all Mars missions, Yuuri's fiancé

Chris is Annie, the PR gal

Yakov - the director of NASA

Minami - the brilliant Rich Purnell

Mila - Cindy, the discoverer of a very alive Yuuri

NASA sends the crew a warning about a huge storm

Walking back to the Eros III MAV, the satellite breaks looks and slams into Yuuri

He gets knocked out and his vital sings show flat

Yuko is devastated but she calls it and they fly back to the Hermes

They promptly call to NASA to tell them of Yuuri’s demise

When Viktor finds out, he almost destroys his entire office

Only his friend Chris can call him down

He just becomes a robot after that

The rest of the crew on the Hermes tries to focus on the mission of returning home

It's three weeks before anyone actually smiles properly

Two weeks later, Viktor sends an email to Mila to check out the coordinates of the Eros III Mission

When she sees that things have moved since the crew fled she calls Viktor immediately

He breaks every driving law known to man trying to get back to the space station as quick as possible

When they get out of the impromptu meeting, discussing Yuuri and he status of being possibly still alive Viktor collapses in the halls and Chris just barely catches him

Back on Mars, Yuuri can't stop looking at his ring

Once he had finished this mission, He was supposed to be marrying Viktor

He also can't stop looking all the emails that Viktor had sent him while on the Hermes

He swears he's going to get back no matter what it takes

It takes a lot

From farming potatoes from his own waste (not his finest moment)

To blowing himself up trying to create water 

To being at the hands of Commander Yuko's K-Pop

Yuuri breakers down when he can talk to Viktor again thanks to the Pathfinder rover being found

They quickly become a world loved couple when Yuuri signs off with "I’ll come home. I promise. I love you Vitya" all in Russian

Viktor cries for the entire night

Yuuri isn't much better

At lease Yuri isn’t there to tease him about it

The NASA team comes up with a supply mission for Yuuri, and it’s all the world seems to talk about

Until the resupply mission blows up ... literally

Viktor took 45 minutes and a quarter bottle of Vodka before he could tell his fiancé that the plan failed

Chris stays with him the entire night, with his own bottle of wine

Later, a little chicken nugget called Minami burst into Viktor's office screaming "hang up that phone. I know how we can bring Yuuri back home"

Minami’s plan is pure genius, using the Chinese Taiyang Shen rocket to resupply the Hermes, and using the earth’s gravity to shoot it back to Mars

Viktor literally drops his phone on the floor

Minami's plan is shut down, no thanks to Yakov 

Viktor goes behind Yakov’s back and emails the crew the Minami's plan

They decide to go back and get Yuuri. Of course

Yakov threatens to fire Viktor's sorry butt

But he can't go through with the threat

Because for the first time in forever Viktor has life back in his eyes

Viktor almost looses it when Yuuri asks him to tell his parents back in Japan that he might not be making it home

The trip the the Eros IV ship is brutal

And Yuuri’s rations are almost non existent 

He swears that he will. eat Katsudon every day for the rest of his life when he gets back to Earth, and nothing is going to stop him

Yuuri ends up flying like iron man ton reach Yuko when they finally go back to get him

And the crew saves him his favourite meal of Katsudon in celebration of his rescue

The first thing Yuuri does do in go have a shower

The entire crews hearts break when they see that Yuuri has all but become skin and bones just to survive

When Yuuri accepts the video call from Viktor and finally sees his fiancé' face he can't get any words out

Viktor is no better

They just cry together on screen for a solid hour, not that anyone was counting 

After 9 months of space travel Yuuri looks almost as good as new

When they land nothing can stop Yuuri from tackling Viktor to the ground 

They kiss for the first time in way to long and it's the best kiss ever

A year later they're happily married and Yuuri goes on to teach classes and Viktor stays on as director of Mars missions

Yuuri never goes back into space again

But he does live happily ever after with his beautiful husband and precious dog Makkachin

This is way to long but this AU has taken over my life so here. Have it! 

#Yuri on ice #yuuri katsuki #yuri plisetsky #viktor nikiforov #viktuuri #au #the martian au #fanfic #au garbage dump #can someone write this #please #yoi