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sass-squat · 1 year

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Have any of the other Links seen Legend pull on his feathers? If so how did they react to seeing it for the first time? Also if they do know that he pulls when upset do they try getting his mind somewhere else like Warriors teasing him or the others allowing him to preen them?

Hello my friend! Excellent question! The answer is yes, everyone in the group has seen Legend pull at his feathers at LEAST once because it's kind of second nature to him now. Now the level of extremity they've seen of his plucking does vary between different Links however. For example, Time and Sky are the main ones who see him when he's REALLY bad to the point where he needs physical intervention because he's literally shaking and bleeding from it, whereas the younger members like Wind and Four usually only ever really see the "fidgeting" side of it.

You can basically compare his everyday feather fiddling as the equivalent of somebody biting their fingernails or repeatedly picking at a scab wound. It's usually not too bad, and it's a minor inconvenience at worst, but the severity of it can change depending on circumstances and can become a real problem if left alone.

As for how the others reacted to seeing his plucking for the first time, it actually wasn't that exciting or significant of an experience! The only one who was really concerned from the beginning was our resident bird lover Sky, mainly because he's had experience in seeing how that behavior can escalate into a real problem in both Loftwings and Hylians alike.

Now this is not to shame or underestimate the observational and emotional skills of the other Links by any means! In their defense, when they first saw Legend fiddling with his feathers it seemed to be a very casual, normal experience for him and they genuinely saw no harm in it. Again, it's like watching somebody absentmindedly biting their fingernails or picking at a scab. You don't usually put much thought into it.

However, once they witnessed his first really bad "episode" since joining the group, their opinions regarding the matter completely changed. Now, whenever the others start to notice him spiraling, they often act in many of the ways you listed! Whether they're teasing him or simply offering to spar with him, their ultimate goal is to distract him and keep his mind and hands busy. Any other efforts such as forcibly trying to make him rest or forcing him to talk about it usually just results in more yelling and fighting than actually helping, so they try to focus their efforts more on distraction rather than confrontation. This has resulted in many preening sessions that were...harsher than they needed to be and resulted in a lot more discomfort rather than actual helping, but the others are more than happy to make those sacrifices for their brother.

Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you again for all of your questions!!! I'm always more than happy to go into more detail if you have any further questions or theories! :D

#winged au #LUWAU #Linked Universe: Winged AU #linked universe #linkeduniverse #loz #loz link #legend of zelda #lu legend #AHHHH!!! Thank you again for your questions friend!!!#I got so excited when I saw the notification because my greatest passions are my boys birds and making my favorites suffer #I could've gone on but realized that the length of my post was getting out of control again lol #Contrary to popular belief I do in fact have some self control when it comes to rambling #I just don't use that skill very often as seen by the majority of my posts #Anyways #That's irrelevant #But I hope this response was able to answer all your questions friend! :D

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sharkneto · 3 months

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did you ever watch fargo? it has similar story beats to true detective, at least, season one (it’s another anthology type series, crime focused) there’s a dude in there who i think you’d get a kick out out of… very much quietly intensely batshit insane and Off™️ but somehow presents himself as the sanest one in the room. he’s rust cohle, in a way, but murderer, not detective

Thanks for the rec! Watched S1 over the past week or so. Was good but it frustrated me. Billy Bob Thornton Serial Killer was the highlight, you were right! He was very fun. What a weirdo.

I don't know if it was that I grew up in an area with accents like theirs so I was like, hyper aware They Are Doing An Accent, or that it was based on Coen Brother's work, but a lot of the characters felt... rather like caricatures? I don't know, something about it had a wall between me and it, where I wasn't immersed so they felt like We Are Actors On A Set Delivering Lines Really Well rather than I was in the moment, if that makes any sense. Maybe it was the monologues, Flannigan series can have the same affect to me.

Still, was a really good cast. I needed Martin Freeman to get his comeuppence like three episodes sooner, my god that man could just wiggle out of everything (SPOILER he sent his wife to get shot???? what the fuck is wrong with him. I was screaming SPOILER OVER). I always like it when Colin Hanks pops up in things. Allison Tolman and Billy Bob Thornton fucking carried the whole thing, they were the only two I didn't really get the I Am Delivering Lines With Emotion And This Thick Minnesotan Accent feeling.

Writing was generally tight, too. Good full circle moments and Chekov's guns, pieces came together in satisfying ways. Was fun to be rooting for Molly to catch her killers and for Billy Bob to fucking get Martin Freeman. I think it could have been one episode shorter, or skipped the time jump, to give the police a modicum more competence, they were killing me.

Idk if I'll watch the other seasons, I did enjoy it overall. Might check out the newest one because I'm a slut for Jon Hamm.

#i'm hit or miss on coen brothers so this feels fitting that i was both hit and miss on this #i wonder if i wasn't so familiar with the accent if i would have felt differently about the acting #because i think the accent pushed some slight overacting #and i just happen to be familiar with the subtleties and midwest niceness that lurks underneath those big nasally sounds #to feel like things weren't lining up quite right #that said i super enjoyed the accents lol #my wisconsin accent has calmed down over the years since i've been away but it's not *gone*#so i always enjoy a little dip back in - little wave back at my roots #anyway anon - thanks again for the rec!#sharkneto speaks #ask response #oh my god i almost forgot!!#the surprise kate walsh!#she came on and i was like ''i know you who are you''#and then she gave a condescending laugh and it tripped my recognition for her ''you're kate walsh!!! :D'' she's always fun #i'm back to ramble more down here #i think my favorite Midwest Content is an episode of This American Life #where the entire episode is dedicated to the story of these two girls in tiny town wisconsin who got switched at birth #and on of the mothers knew and never said anything because she didn't want to Cause Problems or embarrass the doctor who made the mistake #i sent it to all my non-wisconsin friends like ''this right here is exactly what small town wisco is like this is what i grew up in'' lol

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choco-dawn · 10 months

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fhdskjfhds you know what fuck it. honestly, i havent really been drawing much stuff besides D&D things. i know most people wont care but. might as well post some here just to post SOMETHING. sorry y'all. i love my D&D characters alot.

#d&d 5e #Dnd #d&d art #dungeons and dragons #uh #idk what else to put #MochArt #sorry again honestly hfdskjfh #i know no one really cares but whatever #next time i draw it'll be for artfight BUT AFTER THAT #maybe some mario stuff #the recent direct......so good (for me)#i cant wait to play wonder and the SMRPG remake #anyway whoopsie ranting in the tags again #speaking of artfight follow me :3 #https://artfight.net/~Caffe_Mocha #also some of the art here is old so one of my friends characters design wasnt made yet so thats why they look different from time to time #theres some drawings of npcs in here too mostly from the campaign with Mari #also i guess i should a few (like 2?) whiteboard doodles have my friends art in there. thank you moshi ily #okay. anyway bye for real augfdshf sorry #okay wow im just now realizing how much stuff this is.#uh.........i hope you.....enjoy...?

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herebecritters · 1 year

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Hear me out, you oc newest oc give me the idea of an ongoing death loop idol worshipping cult that consists of some of the main animals [Lammy and truffles maybe?]

Idk man cults are cool and I love you insane bad luck fellow

Oh Nergal! He’s actually not a new oc, he’s been around for a bit. He’s one of my prehistoric htf ocs.

He’s part of this trio, along with Dumuzi and Geshtu. He usually wears a small dromeosaur skull as a hat.

I’d love to tell their story but that would be a really really long post. So I’ll save that for later.

And unfortunately there’s no cult thing going on. The current folks of The Isles don’t really know what exactly the idols are or what they do. Hell they only ever encounter one of them in person, and it protects itself fiercely. Many of them tend not to remember their encounters.

This “death loop” of the idols is an ancient matter. One that began 66 million years ago. After one of the greatest misfortunes of all of earths history. An event that kickstarted a very interesting history of the Isles that I can go into later. It’s a LOOONG story.

You see, the Isles that the htf crew we all know and love find themselves trapped on grants them immortality but at a great cost. You need Misfortune to spill Blood. You need Blood to fuel Regeneration. And Regeneration brings them back to experience Misfortune all over again. It’s a vicious but well oiled cycle.

They don’t even realize that they are their own sacrifices for their immortality. To them, this is hell, but the forces behind this curse see it as a gift.

I suppose to some, life is suffering. So is it not appropriate that the payment for eternal life is eternal suffering?

#htf #htf be brave #happy tree friends #htf ocs #too much thought has been put into my fan theory #I got a whole timeline worked out and shit #66 mil years ago to the present #thank you for this ask btw #I’ve been getting excited about this stuff again and this helps :D #asks #questions #Dino-sore days #loretime

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duskerot · 2 months

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SHES DONE SHES DONE !!

#txt #nendo.txt #my ocs #my art #i Did just finish this and then send it basically everywhere i physically could #no restraint . was gonna take like actual pictures outside in nice daytime lighting tomorrow and i just couldnt wait #LOOK AT HER !!! SHES REAL !!!#this took me so long haha but i had fun the Entire time #im gonna make a custom stand for her i think cuz i did not buy one with the parts #but thatll come later cuz i want to work on like digital art again ive been neglecting it #finished it just in time too cuz the weather is about to get too cold for my sealant #im so happy :D #i have more pictures in white light from my string lights but #shes up against my clock which has these weird like cherubic figures and its Strange. weird object i own #that stays with me #so you get vaguely yellow lighting #but AHHHH YIPPEE #special thanks to my friends for encouraging me every time i sent progress pictures for like 2 weeks :'D #i dont really post my oc art anymore for a few reasons but ill post this

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that-spider-fan-over-there · 2 months

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*dusting off this old blog* Well it's been a while, isn't it?

#hello :D so I've been missing since September- scheduled queue aside #Life was stressing me out and I needed to cool off to focus on wrapping up the year else I'd lose it #then Life got worse by Sep-Oct (y'know. horrible real life events + personal stuff + holy shit I need to learn how to Adult)#forgot my password for a while so I was mostly on Twitter and it was Not Fun (and it still isn't)#and I remembered it by the end of January where I was getting most of my shit together and was mostly on Discord with friends #who were the reason I wasn't completely losing it so if you're reading this. thank you and I love you very much <3 #but I missed being on Tumblr and the friends/moots i made. just got nervous to come back here. idk why. brain works in weird ways.#it looks like I'm justifying why I wasn't here and on one hand. yeah it's kind of an update #but it's mostly because I don't like going out and returning like stuff wasn't happening so it's really a me thing so anxiety won't spike #idk if I'm gonna go missing like that again or not but. yeah i'm still alive #(felt good to write that last phrase so maybe *something's* going right in life)#but yeah i think i'm back (not 100% because. Life) and will do a pinned. if you read all of it thank you! :D #okay i'm gonna post this now before my brain decides it's a bad idea-

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skydreamplayzz · 10 months

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Hi! I know its been a while, or this is the first time ive invaded your inbox but i just wanted to say:

I hope you have a nice morning/day/night wherever you are.

Please take your meds if its needed or get up and stretch! I know its easy to forget but please do brush your teeth, hair and take a bathe/shower if youve gone a while without!

Drink some water, or any beverage of your choice, use the washroom and eat something! Your eyes need rest from the screen, and you should go get some fresh air.

Someone truly cares about you <3 might the stars bring you all the luck you might need.

Do what you wish with this message, wether it be deleting, keeping stashed in your inbox or answering :)

Have a cookie,(as many as you want) and some water. Im proud of you, take care.

Love, 🐰✨💝

:0 Thank you for this text! it means a lot even tho these are basic things :D🧸!! (Normally I'm the one sending out cookies...HM But I'll take them.🍪)

#I have a guess who send this #simple things like this make my day :D #and since life is stupid often- yeah #i wanna send this text to my irl friend that switches school -w-#thank you again !!#and since you gave cookies..#I'll give a teddy bear #🧸

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clemencetaught · 2 months

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I wasn't sure if y'wanted them sent in today or tomorrow, BUT TO NOT MESS UP-- (you mentioned answering ic in the tags so yeeting these directly at Patrick >:3 sorry if they're too many omg)

Patrick (any verse)

What does it feel like when others depend on you, in one way or another?

Are you more prone to assuming someone needs you (in a service kind of way, for aid, for support-) or more likely to think they don't?

If psychics were 120% reliable and you could connect to those long gone… would you?

In which contexts are you more 'do as I say not as I do' and in which will you listen to your own advice?

Do you ever catch yourself growing… a little bitter, maybe, at people describing their comparatively 'mundane' problems? Is it envy?

Do you believe children should be shaped for the likeliest future or the future should be shaped for the children to come?

When is self-sacrifice acceptable?

When is hurting those you love acceptable?

in which the 54th victor of the hunger games gives an impromptu interview ( nosy questions for the birthday enby w/ @mythvoiced )

The tea cup is set on the saucer. Discreetly, Patrick slides his other hand into his pocket, where the synthetic patch on his palm wraps around his pocket knife– a habit of sorts, since he won his games. His pocket watch sits on the table, next to the saucier and on his lap, Sun has wrapped herself into a ball, her paws disappearing into the mass of orange fur. On the balcony outside his apartment in the Capitol, this is the only place Patrick knows he will be granted a modicum of privacy in the viper’s nest.

The shadow of the balcony covers the upper half of his body. Sun keeps dozing on his lap, in the sun.

Most times, when the questions are directed at him, they’re expecting an affirmative. Doesn’t matter if it’s coming from a District person or a Capitolite– they go to him for answers, first and foremost. And in the case of the latter, these questions are not questions so much as veiled demands.

Ones that he must always accommodate, regardless of the nature of the demand.

But these questions, this voice, is…well they seem genuinely curious. And the questions they’ve lobbed his way, they don’t seem to be expecting one correct answer.

Sun shifts on his lap. His leg vibrates from her purring. Patrick sighs, leaning back on his chair. “That…quite a lot of thoughts you have going on there, hm?” The knife stays in his pocket as he gently scratches the top of Sun’s head. “I’ll answer your second question first: people will always look out for themselves first. If they don’t think you’re useful, that you can contribute something good to their lives, then you’re dead to them, if they don’t kill you first. Make yourself indispensable to them and they won’t hurt you.” At least that’s what he tells himself– it’s easier to simply assume anyone who approaches him that they want something he can give them. “The younger victors will need someone to guide them anyway.”

And even the ones who vehemently deny needing someone, anyone. Patience is always key in those instances– from Taiyang whom it took almost six years and his tribute’s sanity to finally approach Patrick to María, who still slaps away any hands offered, friend or foe. Ironically, he had to approach her first.

“…I suppose I don’t think too much about that. If someone was asking for your help, you would be more caught up in what they’re asking, more than how you were feeling no?” A Trojan horse, he’s lobbed in their direction although he’s quick to revise: “...It scares me sometimes.” He confides, fingers pausing in their administrations on Sun’s head. Actually it scares him, a lot. “They’re…they’re relying on me to guide them to the best outcome and I want the same thing for them. I promise you, I really, truly do.” Whether it’s Hyuk, Devora, a tribute he’s been assigned to mentor, or any of the victors. And sometimes even the furball in his lap and yet– “But I…I can’t always guarantee that. But they still trust me, especially the younger ones.” The tributes from District Three– his tributes, the ones who take his hand, look up at him with wide eyes, clinging to every word, every gesture he makes as it will guarantee their survival. “Sometimes I think it would be better if they exercised more caution with me.”

A smile, bittersweet, if not actually just bitter, graces his lips. He shakes his head though, chuckling at the next question. “...Forgive me, that’s quite a question you have there. ‘Psychics’... I don’t believe that’s information that just anyone, district or Capitol, can get ahold of– although I have heard of some old religions still practiced in the districts so I suppose the knowledge and belief in such mediums is possible to get ahold of.” He stares down at his tea, the steam still rising. Even if it is a hypothetical question on a medium known to be more shoddy than reputable, he can’t help but pause. If they could contact those ‘long gone’; would that mean, if he asked them to, would he be able to speak to her one last time–

He shakes his head, eye catching his pocket watch, metal beaten and faded, the clock face wearing a crack down the right side. Still, it shimmers in the sunlight. “Even if I could, I…I highly doubt she would want to talk to me of all people.” If they hadn’t met, if they hadn’t fallen in love, she probably would still be alive. Tellessa’s family too.

After all, he was the first person outside of Tellessa who knew about her forbidden books. “Wherever they are, it’s probably better than here.” Or at least he hopes it is for her. A place where life doesn’t have to be perfect, but it is…easier. A place for souls to rest at long last. If such a place even exists in the first place. He picks up his saucer once more, still careful not to jostle Sun on his legs. She’s taken to loafing now– he knows her eyes are closed even if her head dips every few seconds. But make no mistake, that does not mean she is unaware. Trusting of the one asking the questions. If it was just him, she would be stretched out, a white underbelly waiting for his hand to scratch kindly at the ceiling.

Perhaps the saying is true after all: like owner, like pet. Although Patrick would argue she’s more like Hyuk if anything.

“It depends on the circumstances,” he says as neutrally as possible. A vague answer for a hypothetical question, because that is truly it. “I suppose if one’s life was on the line, it would be better if they followed my lead, no?”

Not that that’s stopped, those with rebellious tendencies from committing treason anyways. ( And unfortunately, he can name more than one. ) It is ironic in that manner– for someone who knows the system, knows how to work within the rules all, has spent years perfecting his craft in survival arts, it would make more sense to invest on those with similar goals. And yet here he is, worrying about the ones who are decided not interested in survival and therefore would spurn his advice at any given moments. “Not that…that following my advice has ever helped them make it through.”

(His tributes. All thirty nine of them. No two games are ever the same, the gamemakers would never allow that. If the circus known as the Hungers Games must be reborn over and over again if it wishes to continue.)

He takes a sip of his tea, washing down the momentary displeasure. Or at least he thinks it will be only a moment long. “I suppose what a Capitol citizen would consider a ‘mundane issue’, as you put it, would differ from those of someone from the districts. The former does seem more inclined towards complaining if only to build comradery amongst one another. I’m just glad that they have such means to…channel their frustrations.”

( It’s in times like those, where he wishes his temper could curdle, the way Devora’s does in the face of the Capitol Elite. How he wishes he could simply let her use the knife to silence those idle complaints. )

Patrick takes another sip of his tea. It burns in his throat. It’s bitter too– he must have let the leaves seep for too long. But the asperity doesn’t just settle on his tongue. “Are we talking about an ideal world or the one we live in now? Depending on who you ask this question to, you’re guaranteed to get quite…different answers.” A smile, as frigid as the shaved ice the Capitol serves as a delicacy during the games, crosses his lips. “Our great nation was built to provide safety and prosperity for the children. To serve them. Although whether the truth is actually the other way around will again, depend on who you ask. As a mentor to my tributes, I suppose…we can’t deny the reality in front of us, no?”

Sun yawns. He puts his tea down and idly, he scratches the underside of her chin and he feels her purring against his finger. “Are you sure you should be asking me that question? I would think there are more…suitable candidates for this question.” People like Hyuk, he means. People like María– the kinds who would gladly make sacrifices, give pieces of themselves for a cause. “Self-sacrifice won’t get you where you need to be– there’s a reason martyrs are only known after their death– they’re even given a chance to be known. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool. They’re only deluding themselves into believing they can make everything better. A…colleague of mine said it best: ‘a martyr works, a survivor works better’. If you want to truly help the ones around you, self-sacrifice will only get you so far.”

Or so Patrick claims. He can hear it though– the sound of Hyuk shouting at him to stop lying. The truth is, self-sacrifice, if it is for a tangible reason, is…well maybe it is not worthwhile, but it can be certainly respected, especially if this tangible reason is a human life. The Capitol will always wonder what spurred Patrick to hold his district partner’s hand even if it burned a hole through his skin, will always wonder why Taiyang insisted on protecting Link in the arena, will always wonder why, why, why would Devora so willingly serve as President Snow’s puppet even if it further severs her ties to the districts despite everything the games took from her.

They would never understand compassion in a dog-eat-dog world– self sacrifice.

“...However, I suppose, if there was truly a good reason to do so…well, I have yet to see it.”

( Like the promise of a better world. If there is even one that exists. )

His hand stops. Sun turns her head towards him, copper eyes watching him. “When do we not hurt the ones we love?” Perhaps the better question for him is: when is he not hurting the ones he loves? He saw it in her eyes and Hyuk’s too. And yet they forgave him, somehow, every time. If not for that, well…would there even be a reason to keep going? “That’s part of caring for someone, no? You are preparing for them to hurt you without retaliation.” He shakes his head, snorting. “I think the answer should be obvious, if it guarantees their well-being in the long run, I think that is a gamble to be considered. That being said–”

Sun jumps off his lap and stretches, paws facing this curious passerby. Patrick crosses his legs, hands resting on his lap. A veneer, similar to the one he dons in the Capitol flashes through, even if he is not currently in his usual suit. “You wouldn’t want to be close with someone like me. I’ve been known to have…a reputation of sorts. One of burning and you could…no, you would most definitely get hurt, one way or another and we wouldn’t want that happening, no? Just a thought for you to consider.”

He watches Sun make her way to the sliding glass door in the shade. Her tails whips side to side as she looks up at the handle. Then she looks at him and meows.

Patrick glances at his pocket watch. “It’s feeding time for Sun.” Well, sort of– it’s more like it’s half an hour before her feeding time, but he knows gets antsy the closer meal time gets around. But this person doesn’t have to know that. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be taking care of business now. If you need anything more, you know where to find me.”

Or better yet, he’ll know where to find them.

#long post cw #mythvoiced #the victor ( answered. )#the victor ( verse three. )#hahahahahahahahaha i asked for this and LENLEN DELIVERED :'DDDD #over 2k words....and it took three days for me to write and i wasn't allowed to stop......#lenlen i love you....and this also killed me jc he REALLY TOOK THE REINS :'DD #and said 'this is my show now ferre you have no say in this.'#and i was compelled to go along :'DDDD #and he didn't even directly answer some of these questions i'm so sorry lenlen...u won't get a straight answer out of him #especially not in this verse </3 #i think i managed to name drop most ppl's muses in this too?? :DD #BUT THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THESE MY DEAR FRIEND MY WISH WAS GRANTED #i had a lot of fun writing this even tho i died somewhere in the middle :'D #so uh enjoy the philosophy and the hypocrisy and the sads(tm) of all of this?? ( and his cat too <3 )#JFKLSDJFKLSDJ ONLY THIS ONE CAN FORCE ME TO WRITE 2K FOR HIM AND HIM ALONE :'DDDD

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hellfireeddiemunson · 3 months

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finally having time to myself since 3pm yesterday (it’s 11pm rn) and i want to stay up and relax and watch stuff so i can have a nice time by myself before having to work tomorrow but i am EXHAUSTED and also want to sleep so bad😭😭😭

#i worked yesterday 8-2 and then was with friends and slept at their house and i got maybe ???? 3 hours of sleep lastnight bc of that and #THEN i had to work 8-2 AGAIN today and i got home and got picked back up by the same friends to do something and now i’m finally home and #stuff but i just don’t know what my best option is (i know i should sleep actually and get as much sleep as possible but shhhh)#i guess. i will sleep tho actually bc i can’t even concentrate on the video i was trying to watch. 20 minutes in and i have NO idea what #is happening so yeah i’ll take that as a cue to sleep #thanks for helping me decide what to do guys’#!* not ‘#ugh i don’t wanna work tomorrow i have an 8 hour shift and i don’t wanna do it 😭😭😭#saturdays are the worst bc i have to be alone all day and it drives me insane when i get a million customers that are regulars who know only #one person works at a time on saturdays like use common sense and also get fucked for being annoying i hate you all!!!!!! GRRRRR BITE BITE #ok no fr i’m going to sleeep now ok #OH WAIT ONE TINY THING I WAS DOING A TRIVIA GAME EITH MY FRIENDS TONIGHT AND THERE WAS A D&D QUESTION THAT I GOT FULLY CORRECT BC IVE BEEN #WATCHING LEGENDS OF AVANTRIS!!!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT IT LOL MY FRIENDS ALL DIDNT KNOW AND I WAS LIKE >:)))) BACK AWAY

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frecklystars · 5 months

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Hi frecklydork!! I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you- I just got out of a convo w/ a therapist where I realized I was in a really bad relationship and she mentioned I was displaying PTSD like symptoms. I just wanted you to know that theres someone out there who's super super super DUPER proud of you and all the work you've put into managing your PTSD- Feeling constant overwhelming anxiety helped me understand a little of what you must be going through, I can't imagine how stressful your day to day life is and I'm feeling overwhelmed rn! I hope you can take some comfort in this

Goodnight! Or Good day, or good morning whenever you get this!

Hi sweetheart. I'm so sorry to hear that you have gone through a relationship so devastating that it left this much of an impact on you. My heart goes out to you, it's not fun, to say the least, it is a really horrible time and it's especially difficult (in my opinion) when it's repetitive actions from someone you trusted... it's like an extra layer of betrayal on top of everything else. I'm so sorry. I know how badly that hurts.

My response is kind of long so I'm gonna put it under a readmore for ya:

I am so touched that you thought of me, and even more touched that you took the time out of your day to tell me that you thought of me. I hope you don't mind it took me a few days to finally crack open my inbox. I reread this a few times because it really warmed my heart. Thank you for being proud of me. I'm so proud of you, too. I'm so happy you've (I'm assuming, hoping, praying) gotten out of the relationship, or in the very least I'm reassured that you've realized how unhealthy the relationship was for you and you can take the steps to overcome and heal from it now. It's SO HARD getting out of relationships, but nobody else can do it for you, it's always you who has to take those steps, and I'm so proud of you for pushing yourself to take those steps!!!! I know it isn't easy!!!!! I think one of the loneliest feelings in the world is knowing that you're in an unhealthy friendship/relationship with someone and you can literally feel this person draining your energy and making you feel hopeless and worthless and numb. I have never felt more empty than when I was trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship/friendship. It's awful. Getting out of that kind of situation is so difficult, so I am so damn proud of you for recognizing that you deserve better!!! Because you do!!! You deserve the whole world and I'm sorry somebody didn't give you the respect you deserved. It's not your fault. Nothing you went through is your fault at all, and I'll say that as many times as you want to hear it.

I completely hear you on the stress side of things -- thank you for empathizing with me. My God, isn't it the fucking worst? The constant stress?? I PROMISE YOU IT GETS BETTER, I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE!!!!!!!!!! I am finally at a point where my anxiety is not killing me 24/7. It took a hot fuckin minute to get here, but I am at a point now where my anxiety will only eat at me for a chunk of my day instead of my whole day. Getting into the Barbie movie literally saved my life. But, like... it's literally a stress disorder, an anxiety disorder. That feeling of it literally EATING at you every single second that you're awake, and even giving you nightmares when you're asleep -- jesus!!! it's so much!!! it's!!! A LOT and it's intense and it's like you never get any peace. BUT I PROMISE IT GETS BETTER!!!!! 😭😭💙💙💙 IT GETS BETTER ANON I SWEAR TO YOU. I AM HOLDING YOUR HAND THROUGH THIS WHOLE THING!!!!!

One day you will wake up and the person who traumatized you, the events that traumatized you, will NOT be the very first thing popping into your head. One day you'll be able to sit down and eat a sandwich and think to yourself "oh I just went 20 whole seconds without thinking about it". One day you'll be tying your shoe and thinking "oh I think i just went five whole minutes without thinking about it!" slowly, gradually, you will have healed so much, you will look back and think "oh. I'm... so much better than I was."

I actually had this revelation a few weeks ago, I sat down making comics, and then I thought to myself... "...oh... I don't think I thought about my abuser... at all... when a trigger was right in front of my face... for a solid two minutes." I saw a gifset where Margot Robbie was wearing an article of clothing that normally triggers me into a panic attack, but I just kept looking at Margot and thinking "hehehe that's my Barbie!!! <3" and then i realized the trigger was right in front of my face but I was so focused on being gay asf I didn't even realize the trigger was there. And then when I noticed it, my body was like "oh. time to panic" but I managed to push away those feelings and say "nope. nope. that's Barbie. and Barbie is safe. and everything is ok!!!" And two minutes of handling a certain trigger may not seem like a long time, at first... but when you're constantly overwhelmed every single second of every single day... two minutes looks like a blessing. and one day you won't even have to count the minutes anymore. you'll just exist and the misery will only be momentary.

But aside from triggers, now, just in general, I am at a point where I can go hours without remembering my abuser or the events that gave me literally DOZENS of triggers in the first place. Flashbacks are rare, when they used to be constant. I'm not as jittery as I used to be, I'm not as... uh, feeling like I'm going out of my mind, I don't know how else to phrase it, but the anxiety that ptsd gives you literally makes you feel like you're losing your sense of self, and I promise you that feeling goes away with time. I promise you it gets better. I didn't have a support system during my time of need, so my healing process is taking much longer than it would have, so I am hopeful that your healing process is actually going much speedier than mine, even if our circumstances may not be exactly the same ofc but just hearing that you have a therapist helping you out with this is absolutely wonderful. Therapy is so important, paired with self care.

I'm so proud of you anon. I'm so sorry you're going through this and ahhh sorry I'm scatterbrained, it's been a long day and my brain cells are on fire, but!!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and I LOVE YOU and IT'S GONNA BE OKAY!!!! IT'S GONNA GET BETTER!!!!!! That feeling of constant anxiety 24/7 is an absolute bitch, but it gets better!!! It gets better!!!! I'll say it a million times, it gets better!!!! And I'm here for you the whole way okay? Please feel free to message me anytime. Ilusm I'm sending you so many hugs and I will be keeping you in my thoughts. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

#thank you for taking the time to empathize with me holy shit #i feel like a lot of ppl dont rly. understand ptsd. unless if they have it. which is normal ofc #or just trauma in general. which is fine! u cant fully understand smth til u go thru it #so when you mentioned the CONSTANT anxiety i was just nodding my head while reading #24/7 your brain is making you remember things you wish you could forget and it aint fun #tips: journal your thoughts everyday to reduce nightmares #bc it helps your brain process things while its awake #so it wont process AS much when youre asleep. that way you get BETTER sleep #more tips: sleeping is so good for u. drinking water is so good for ur Scared Brain #EXERCISING!!!! going for walks in the sunlight helps you with vitamin D + tiring u out faster #so u can sleep easier. bc again. oh my god the sleep is so important.#and sleep is the thing i struggle with the most i only get 3 or 4 hours every night #being social helps so much. im going out with friends at LEAST once a week #and scheduling hangouts with online friends once a week as well. or voice calling #i know it hurts so fucking bad right now but i promise it gets better #i am holding your hand the entire time ok you're not alone. im here for you.#anonymous #asks #ptsd #keepsake

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