#Stellaride fanfic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

torreshalstead · 1 year

Text

Family means family

Summary - After Stella dies on a call, Kelly locks himself away and refuses to see anyone including his daughter. There was only person who could pull Kelly out of the spiral he was in, yet he was 2000 miles away. But a single phone call from the last person Matt Casey expected to hear from changes that.

Warnings - Major Character Death

Notes - this is a prequel to Memories Bring Back You. That fic goes against my own long held headcannon that Severide is the most likely character to die from a broken heart so it was interesting to delve into a situation where he can’t do that and how that would impact him. This came out with a lot more Brettsey in than I had originally planned but I’m not mad about it! You don’t have to have read MBBY for this to make sense, they are standalone. Hope you enjoy! AO3 Link

Matt Casey finally had a second to sit down after an incredibly busy shift. When he hadn’t been on a call, he was busy running drills trying to get a couple of new firefighters on his rig up to scratch. They weren’t quite the same as his Truck crew back in Chicago but he was determined to make them as good as they could possibly be. He did enjoy seeing them grow and develop but he was still tired and was looking forward to a quick lie down, if the bells would allow it.

It wasn’t the bells that hindered his sleep however, it was his phone ringing and a glance down at the screen showed it was possibly the last person he had expected to see calling him.

He swiped his thumb across the screen to answer the call.

‘Hey,’ he said, unsure what tone he should be taking.

‘Hey Matt, I’m sorry to call but…’ Sylvie’s voice tailed off. It was quieter and shakier than he remembered. He knew her well enough to understand that this was not going to be a catch up call.

‘No, it’s okay, what’s up?’ He asked, his uncertainty turning to concern.

‘It’s not me, it’s Stella,’ he heard her sniff as she stifled a small sob. Matt sat up straighter.

‘What happened?’ He asked quietly, a lump growing in his throat knowing this couldn’t be anything good. He had spoken to Stella just last week. Lizzie had wanted to show him a painting she had done of him and Kelly, so Stella had video called him. She had seemed fine then. That meant that something must have happened on a call.

‘There was an accident’, Sylvie took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself but it came out shaky. ‘She didn’t make it out of a storage unit fire…’

Matt’s head dropped to his hands, it felt like a piece of his heart had been chipped off at his her words. He had known Stella for years, lived with her for a few. Watched her develop into the most incredible firefighter and leader. Been an incredible wife to his best friend and seen her become the most wonderful mother to Lizzie. That she had been taken from her family, both the one with her husband and daughter and the one at the firehouse. It wasn’t fair.

‘Kelly needs you Matt, I don’t want to ask or tell you what to do-’

‘No, I’m on the first flight.’ He interrupted with a small shake of his head. It was his best friend. There was nothing to keep him from Chicago at this point. ‘Thanks for calling Sylvie,’ he said softly, knowing it would have been hard for her to pick up the phone to call anyone and tell them about Stella, let alone call him.

‘They’re our family,’ she said quietly.

‘How are you doing?’ He asked, knowing that Sylvie always put everyone else's needs above her own and he doubted this time would be any different.

‘I.. I haven’t processed it yet. I don’t think any of us have. Just trying to hold it together for Severide’, she sniffed. ‘He’s in a bad way Matt’.

‘I wish I could say I would expect something else but he loves her with everything he has. Has he told Lizzie?’

‘That’s part of the problem. He hasn’t seen her since it happened yesterday. Sorry I didn’t ca-’

‘No no, it’s fine. I get it Sylvie, I do. Where is she then?’ He asked, knowing his best friend must be in an awful place if he was refusing to see his daughter.

‘She’s with Cindy and Hermann, she just thinks they are both working late I think. I’ll explain everything else when you get here. Let me know which flight you get on and I’ll pick you up.’

‘Okay. And thank you Sylvie, I’m glad it was you that called,’ he smiled softly, allowing himself a moment of comfort.

‘Of course, I’ll see you soon Matt’. And with that the call ended. And Matt was sitting alone in his office with the knowledge that one of his closest friends was no longer with them and his best friend was in agonising pain and he was almost 2000 miles away.

—————————————————————————

His chief had granted him the furlough immediately, no questions asked. He hadn’t even gone back home, just grabbed his station bag which had a couple of changes of clothes in it and headed straight to the airport. He had enough friends in Chicago that someone could lend him some clothes if needed. He didn’t want to waste any time.

Matt didn’t know what he would find when he touched down in Chicago but if Sylvie had called him, he knew it wouldn’t be anything good. Kelly had suffered loss before, more loss than one person should experience in their life and to have his wife taken away from him and leave him as a single parent, it was just cruel.

When Kelly had taken the OFI position after Stella had given birth, Matt wasn’t even a little bit surprised. He knew how much he loved his wife and Stella was just at the beginning of her career. She still had so much to give to the CFD. Severide had always been exceptional at arson investigation and if it meant he could be at home for his daughter then it made perfect sense.

However Matt knew his best friend, had known him and worked alongside him for years, so he knew that somewhere inside he would be questioning if he had been on the call if he could have helped, or even saved her. Without knowing the exact details of the call Matt couldn’t give a definitive answer but knew that if Kelly had been there, the likeness was that Lizzie would have lost both of her parents that day and Matt would be flying back to his home city for an even more heartbreaking reason.

Before he got on the flight, he dropped Sylvie a message to let her know when he was due to land, with a caveat to say she didn’t need to pick him up and he could get an Uber. He knew that she would be waiting for him at the arrivals gate though. He had also sent a message to Boden, Cruz, Hermann and Mouch to let them all know he was on his way back and that Sylvie had filled him in. He wished he was heading back to see his friends for a more positive reason but some small part of him was glad he would be around people experiencing the same grief he was. If he had had to go through losing Stella alone in Oregon, well, he’s not sure he could have.

—————————————————————————

As he had expected, Sylvie was waiting for him when he got through the arrivals gate. He could feel the nerves and the sense of uneasiness coming off of her as soon as he spotted where she was standing. She was tugging her sleeves over her hands, glancing around and nibbling her bottom lip. He hadn’t seen her since the morning after Kelly and Stella’s wedding, they had said goodbye at her apartment door as she had to go to shift and he had a flight to catch. They hadn’t spoken aloud the thought they were both sharing, that it might be the final time to see each other. They just held each other closely.

He walked over to her and before saying anything wrapped her tightly in his arms. He knew it had been the right decision when he felt her stiffness disappear and she melted into his embrace. He didn’t loosen his hold when he felt her shake and her tears wet his neck, he just let her cry in his arms. He felt the tears begin to spill from his own eyes but didn’t care enough to wipe them away. They were both sad, a horrible thing had happened and crying was a natural response, what onlookers thought didn’t matter right now.

‘Hi,’ he said softly when she eventually pulled back. He reached to wipe a stray tear from her cheek, not questioning how easy it was to fall back into simple physical contact with her.

‘Hi,’ she echoed. ‘That all you bring?’ she asked, nodding to the bag which was slung over his shoulder.

‘Yep, came straight from the firehouse, figured I could borrow some clothes off people if I need to’, he said as the pair started to walk towards the exit.

‘I still have a few of your things,’ Sylvie said quietly, a hint of embarrassment laced through her voice.

‘Then that’s perfect’, he said, smiling to dissuade her of those feelings. He still had a couple of her shirts in the back of his closet too. Getting rid of them had always felt too final. ‘Is Severide at the loft?’ He asked.

‘We think so’, she answered. ‘We haven’t seen him since the hospital. But that must have been where he went.’

‘Okay, so first stop is there? Then go see Lizzie?’ Sylvie nodded in agreement. First thing first, he had to see if he could coax his oldest friend out to see his one and only daughter, Matt knew it would be a challenge but knew he needed to succeed. For Kelly’s own sake.

—————————————————————————

The drive to the loft was bizarre. The air was thick with everything they weren’t saying. Matt was fighting the urge to reach across the centre console to hold Sylvie’s hand or rest his hand on her leg like they used to. What had brought them back together was something so tragic but the fact it could have been anyone who came to pick him up brought him an ounce of hope. Maybe it was wrong to feel this way considering where they were driving and what would be waiting for him but in the same breath he knew that Stella would want everyone to be happy.

When they pulled up to the loft, it was eerily quiet.

‘I’ll wait in the car for you. If you can get him out then I’ll drive you both to Hermann’s, I don’t imagine he’s in a fit state to drive,’ Sylvie said as she put her car in park.

‘Okay, I’ll leave you with my bag?’ he asked as he got out of the car, Sylvie nodded.

The walk up to the loft was bizarre, almost a sense of deja vu took over him, having walked this route for many years but not being back to visit in some time. Although he knew there was likely to be a spare key above the door frame, now was not quite the time to invade his friend's privacy. He would wait to see if he would be invited in, so knocked the door loudly and waited.

He couldn’t hear any movement inside but Kelly’s Mustang and Stella’s Jeep had been outside, along with his bike so Matt knew he was inside.

‘Kelly, it’s Matt, you going to let me in?’ He said loudly after a couple of moments, accompanying it with another loud knock. ‘I’m so sorry about Stella, Sylvie told me. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Open up and we can talk about it?’ When he still received no response, he tried another tack. ‘Sylvie and I were going to go and see Lizzie, I’m sure she’d like to see her dad? You could come with us?’

After another few moments of silence, Matt decided today was clearly not the day. Grief worked in funny ways and if Severide needed another day of solitude then Matt was going to be the one to grant that.

‘I’m going to go now Kelly but if you need me I’m at the other end of the phone. I’ll give Lizzie your love and I’ll be back tomorrow. And I really am sorry mate’. He hung his head and rested his palm against the door, hoping for a moment that Kelly would open the door but when that didn’t occur, he turned around and walked back to the car and to Sylvie.

‘You tried’, Sylvie said solemnly when he climbed back into her car.

‘I guess, let’s go see Lizzie and we can try again later’, Matt said. He hadn’t seen Lizzie in person since she was a baby, when Stella and Kelly had surprised him with a visit, although he spoke on the phone with her a lot so he was excited to see her. A pang deep in his chest reminded him that she didn’t know her mother had died and her father had locked himself away from the world. Maybe that was best, he thought, to give her another day before her life was irrevocably changed forever.

—————————————————————————

When Matt knocked on the door to the Hermann residence, with Sylvie behind him, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep it together in front of the little girl but knew he had to.

Hermann opened the door and immediately pulled him into a hug. The older firefighter was not usually one to initiate physical contact but Matt held him tightly anyway.

‘Good to see you man’ he said when he finally pulled back. ‘Did you see him?’

Matt shook his head dejectedly, ‘wouldn’t open the door’.

‘Same for all of us. Come on in then, the little one is in the garden playing.’ He stood back to let them in, ‘hey there Brett’, he added when Sylvie passed him with a sad smile.

The house was devoid of its usual hubbub. There had always been kids running around, the smell of something delightful coming from the kitchen, but today it was void of all of that as they walked through to the backyard.

Lizzie Severide was sitting on the swing set, kicking her feet against the dirt but not attempting to swing any further than the couple of inches it was moving as a result of her motions. When the door opened and Casey and Syvlie stepped out, her head shot up and a sudden look of disappointment flickered across her young face when the people at the door were not the ones she was clearly waiting for. The excitement when she realised who it was took over quickly however and she squealed with excitement before jumping off the swing and running towards the pair, throwing herself at Matt’s legs.

‘Uncle Matt!’ she said excitedly as he knelt down and pulled her into a tight hug.

‘Hey kiddo,’ he said as he kept the little girl cradled against his chest, trying to pour all the love he had for her into it. ‘How are you?’ he said as he pulled back slightly, keeping his hands on the tops of her arms, squeezing lightly.

‘Good. Cindy made brownies,’ she said excitedly, tugging at the bottom of her shirt and bouncing from foot to foot. ‘But Mommy and Daddy are working,’ she said, pushing her bottom lip out. The pout he was sure could get his best friend to do anything his daughter asked.

‘They are, they have important jobs. But I know they love you lots and lots,’ Matt said and pulled a smile onto his face, shielding the pain.

‘I know,’ Lizzie said with a smile, clearly it was something her parents told her a lot. Good, Matt thought, she should be told it as often as possible.

‘Did you see who I brought with me?’ Matt asked, nodding his head up at Sylvie. Lizzie’s head spun around quickly to look where he was nodding, the smile widened on her face as she realised who had come to visit with her favourite Uncle.

‘Auntie Betty!’ Matt had to stifle a laugh at this and shot Syvlie a questioning look.

‘People were calling me both Sylvie and Brett and somehow Auntie Betty was born,’ she chuckled lightly.

‘I like it,’ Matt said with a wink.

‘Only I call Auntie Betty!’ Lizzie said firmly, the little girl clearly had her mothers fire within her.

‘Of course, only you get to call me Auntie Betty,’ Sylvie smiled and ran her hand over the girl's head, her curls were attempting to be restrained with some tight dutch braids but a few flyways were escaping.

‘Uncle Matt’, Lizzie said, turning back to Casey, an inquisitive look in her eyes.

‘Yes Lizzie’, he said, dreading the question that was coming next.

‘When Mommy and Daddy coming home?’ She looked down at the floor sadly. This had clearly been a question she had asked numerous times since she had arrived at the Hermann’s.

Sylvie had explained on the drive to the loft earlier what had happened. Kelly had brought Lizzie to the firehouse to celebrate her birthday and surprise Stella, that’s when the call to the storage facility came in. Kelly and Lizzie had stayed at the firehouse, assuming the call wouldn’t take too long and they could continue the birthday celebrations afterwards. When the worst had happened, Boden had called Kelly immediately knowing he would want, more accurately, would need to be there. Kelly left Lizzie at the firehouse with Stephanie, Kylie’s replacement, and Cindy had picked her up from there. Lizzie hadn’t seen her father since.

Kelly had pulled up to the scene and it had been worse than anyone had imagined. Cruz and Boden had to physically restrain him to stop him running into the building that was still burning. Sylvie’s eyes had filled with tears when she had been telling Matt how Kelly hadn’t stopped calling Stella’s name, his voice getting more hoarse with each yell.

When she had been brought out by the Truck crew, Kelly had attempted to resuscitate her himself, yelling at everyone that he could help her, he could bring her back. The rest of them had looked on in desperation, no one knowing when they should pull him back.

Finally, Boden had pulled him back. He had fallen to his knees and hadn’t said anything else. The tears stopped and he just watched them load her into the ambulance. Sylvie described it as seeing his soul disappear, it was like it was just Kelly’s body, he wasn’t in there anymore, his eyes had grown empty and he hadn’t said anything else.

Cindy and Hermann had expected Kelly to come and pick Lizzie up after leaving Med but he hadn’t shown. They had tried calling, Sylvie and Joe had gone round to the loft but there had been no answer. They hadn’t seen or heard from him since.

‘As soon as they can sweetie,’ Matt said, hoping the small white lie wouldn’t come back to haunt him. ‘How about we go inside and have one of those yummy brownies and you can tell me everything you’ve been up to since I’ve seen you last?’

Lizzie took a moment to contemplate before she nodded with a smile and tugged on Matt’s hand, pulling him towards the kitchen.

——————————————————————————

‘Can you drop me off at the loft?’ Matt asked as the pair got back into the car having spent the last couple of hours hearing all about what Lizzie had been drawing or making or eating. Once you got the little girl talking, there’s no way to stop her. It was refreshing, Matt had thought, she was such a happy child, he really hoped she’d be able to keep that spark even when the awful news was broken to her.

‘Are you going to try and talk to him again?’ Sylvie asked curiously.

‘Figured I’d fill him in on how Lizzie is doing and hope that works, then I’ll kip on the couch’.

‘And if it doesn’t, you plan on sleeping in the hallway?’ She chuckled.

Matt ran his hand over his chin, his 5 o’clock shadow firmly adorning his cheeks. ‘Guess I hadn’t really thought that far’, he admitted bashfully.

‘Okay, well if you can’t get through to him, I’ll wait downstairs and you can crash with me,’ Matt’s head swivelled quickly towards her, ‘I have a perfectly good couch Matt, you know that.’

‘Guess I do’, he smiled. ‘Thanks Sylvie, that sounds like a plan’.

‘I’ll give you 20 minutes, if I don’t hear from you then I’ll assume you’re staying with Severide, okay?’ Matt nodded in agreement as they continued their way towards the loft.

The climb up to the loft felt less unusual this time, but Matt had less hope that his friend would open the door than he had had previously. He knew Kelly well enough to know that he would have gone completely into his shell and it would take a lot to get him out of it.

He had debated bringing Lizzie back with him, knowing that Severide would have to open the door to his daughter. But having no idea what state Kelly was in on the other side of the door, he didn’t want to subject Lizzie to that. He would give Kelly one more chance to let him in of his own volition before he resorted to more drastic methods.

He knocked the door slightly harder than he had done when he had been here a few hours ago, thinking maybe it was just that he had been in his bedroom and couldn’t hear him knocking.

‘Sev, hey. It’s me again. I’ve just come from seeing Lizzie. She misses you man, is asking about you and Stella. I just told her that you both loved her.’ Matt took a deep breath before continuing. ‘It can’t come from anyone else but you Kelly, and I know that’s awful and painful, but it has to. She can’t hear this when she hasn’t got you there to turn to. You’re all she’s got. She needs you.’

‘She’s grown so much man, and she’s the spitting image of Stella. She’s so smart too, took great pride in telling me all the things Hermann does wrong around the house that Cindy has to correct him. You must be so proud of her.’

‘I’m going to go now, give you a little bit more time. But I’ll be back first thing tomorrow. And Sev, I’m coming in whether you like it or not. And I really would prefer if you opened the door for me, don’t want to screw my shoulder up again by barging it down. But I will.’

As he turned to leave, he stopped and approached the door again.

‘We are all here for you. We love you, we love Stella and we love Lizzie. You’re not going through this alone man.’

—————————————————————————

‘Thanks for letting me stay Sylvie’, Matt said as he finished his takeout. They had ordered Chinese when they got back to her place, neither being in the mood to cook. Placing the empty container on the coffee table and he relaxed into the back of the couch.

It was odd being back here in her apartment. They had spent the majority of their time here when they were together. He had begun to think of it as much more of their apartment with the amount of time he spent there, sleeping in her bed more often than he slept in his own.

This is the place where they had spent their first night together, but he also knew this was the place where he had broken her heart, telling her he was leaving and going to Oregon. He knew he had had his reasons, knew that Sylvie understood them, but he still wished that they had stayed the course. He missed her, had spent a long time missing her before realising that it was futile. Until the thing keeping them apart stopped being an issue, then they would continue to stay apart.

It had stopped being an issue in the last couple of months, but Matt had still not made the final decision to come back to home. He did genuinely love his job in Oregon, fighting forest fires was something completely different and refreshing. He had spent a long time working with his crew to bring them up to the level he expected. But without the boys, there was nothing keeping him in Portland anymore.

He had contemplated coming back so often. Of calling up Boden and seeing if he could return, the likelihood of coming back to 51 was slim, he knew that, all the leadership positions had been filled. But even if he was back here, he would be around his family again.

Griffin had been accepted into the CFD and was now working as a candidate at a house across the city, although Matt knew his dream was to work on 81, the same truck as his father.

Ben was studying Maths over on the East Coast. He didn’t have the same pull back to Chicago as Griffin did but also had no inclination of staying in Portland. When he had applied to colleges on the East Coast and got accepted to a small school, he was incredibly excited and Matt was equally as proud of him.

He would be lying if he had said that Sylvie wasn’t a factor in his decision either. Both for the want to come back and the uncertainty about it. He didn’t expect them to be able to immediately fall back into what they had before, but at least without the physical distance between them, it could actually be a possibility again.

‘It’s no problem’, Sylvie said with the soft smile that Matt had been so fond of. It was different to the smile that Syvlie used the majority of the time, the one she dolled out to patients as easily as breathing. This was the smile she shared only with those she cared deeply about, the ones that she had let into her life and through her defences. Matt was grateful that he could still be included in that group. ‘You sure you’ll be okay out here?’ She brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. ‘We’ve shared a bed before, I don’t mind,’ she said softly.

Matt smiled warmly but shook his head. ‘It’s alright, I’ve stayed out here before. It’s perfectly comfortable. I don’t think either of us are in an emotionally stable state to be sharing a bed again, not yet,’ he added with a glance up at Sylvie and clocked how a blush started to spread across her cheeks. ‘But I’m here if you need me’, he said and she nodded in response.

‘Probably a smart idea,’ Sylvie said with a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. ‘I’ll get you some blankets then.’ She retrieved them, placed them on the coffee table and then smiled before retreating to her bedroom, leaving Matt standing alone in the living room wondering if he had just made the wrong choice.

At some point in the night however, he felt a small hand on his shoulder and awoke to see Sylvie standing over him, her eyes rimmed with red. He sat up quickly and she reached out a hand to him, he hesitated slightly before placing his hand in hers. She tugged him wordlessly towards her bedroom and he went willingly, following her without question.

She climbed into the bed, the side she had always slept on and held up the covers for him to slide under as well. When he had made himself comfortable, she curled herself into his chest, her body warm against his. He wrapped his arms around her in a familiar motion, allowing himself a moment to breathe in her usual vanilla shampoo scented hair. The pair fell asleep, awash in the comfort that being in each other's presence and arms provided and when they awoke in the morning they didn’t question it, they simply just smiled.

—————————————————————————

Sylvie was on the shift that day so Matt drove her to work and then headed straight over to the loft in her car. He wasn’t taking no for an answer today, he needed to see his friend and he needed Kelly to agree to go see his daughter. Keeping Lizzie in the dark any longer than necessary wasn’t the right thing to do but at the same time, the news had to come from Kelly.

Approaching the front door, he stretched out his shoulders. Matt hadn’t been kidding when he said he’d break down the door if he needed to. Feeling like he should probably give his friend a warning, he knocked on the door and announced his presence.

As with the previous times he had stood in this spot, there was no answer. So Matt took a couple of steps back, he knew the door was pretty heavy so might take a bit to get it down. Just as he began to take the first step forward it opened and a dishevelled looking Kelly stood before him.

He didn’t say anything as Matt took in his appearance. His hair, much greyer than it had been when Matt had left Chicago, was stood up in a myriad of directions, he was supporting at least 2 days worth of stubble on his cheeks and if Matt had to take a guess, the sweatpants and t shirt adorning his body were equally as old.

‘Hey,’ Matt said as he walked past his friend and into the apartment they had once shared. Just like Kelly, the apartment was also in a state. There were empty beer bottles littering the coffee table and the kitchen counters, containers of home cooked food no doubt brought over by Cindy and Donna, were sitting out of the fridge.

‘Didn’t want you breaking down the door,’ Kelly huffed as he walked over to the couch and threw himself down on it. Resuming the position that Casey assumed he had been in since he had returned here after the news broke. He reached out and grabbed one of the beer bottles off the table and took a swig, clearly one of the not completely empty ones.

‘I wouldn’t have to if you'd opened it yesterday when I knocked,’ Matt said, standing near the kitchen, unsure if his best friend would welcome him sat down near him at this point.

‘Thought you’d take the hint that I didn’t want company,’ Kelly said with a gruff laugh.

‘Well too bad, I’m here now so why don’t you get cleaned up and we can go see Lizzie. She’s asking for you.’

Kelly shook his head and lowered his gaze, picking at the label on the bottle.

‘I know it’s tough-’ Matt started to say before Kelly’s head shot up, his eyes rimmed with red.

‘You know?’ Kelly scoffed harshly. ‘You’ve had to tell your daughter that her mother is dead and won’t ever be coming home?’ He laughed coolly and took another draft from the bottle. ‘Didn’t think so’, he muttered and his gaze fell back down to the floor.

‘No, but I did lose a fianceé,’ Matt said calmly. ‘And I had to tell the Darden boys that their mother was in jail and couldn’t come home.’ Matt took a deep breath before continuing. ‘And I lost my father when I was a kid too, lost my mother at the same time as well in a manner of speaking.’ Matt swallowed, he wasn’t one to compare traumas but he hoped it would reinforce with Kelly that he was speaking from a place with a little knowledge on the subject.

Severide looked up, the tears that had been held back by his eyelashes before, were now silently making their way down his cheeks. ‘Sorry,’ he said quietly. ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’

‘I know you didn’t,’ Casey said as he made his way over to the living space and took a seat on the empty chair. ‘But Lizzie needs you Kelly.’

‘I know but how do I tell her? I haven’t even processed it myself yet,’ Kelly said, angrily wiping the tears away from his face as if they were a display of weakness.

‘You process it together,’ Matt said steadily. ‘I’m not saying it’ll be easy Severide, hell, it’ll be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. But it’s the right thing to do.’

Kelly nodded, keeping his gaze firmly on the floor. ‘I keep thinking I’m going to see her, out here making dinner or coming in the door after a shift. Keep hearing her voice, talking to Lizzie, playing with her. And then I look over and there’s no one there.’ He sniffed and wiped away his continued stream of tears. ‘And if I’d have been there, I could have done something. I could have saved her.’ The final sentence was distorted by a sob and a thud as the beer bottle he had been holding fell to the floor and Kelly cradled his head in his hands.

‘If you’d have been there, Lizzie would have lost two parents that day.’ Matt said slowly. ‘There was a reason when you had her, you went to work at OFI. And you can say it was the hours of whatever, but I know you and Stella had the discussion about you both being on a call. When you’re a first responder and have kids, you have to think like that.’ Kelly nodded but kept his head buried in his palms.

‘I can’t do this without Stella,’ he whispered.

Matt had stayed strong until this point, had decided this was not the place for him to display his grief, he was here for his friend, but the heartbreak in hearing those words brought tears to his eyes.

‘You can’, he said, ignoring how his voice cracked. ‘You’re not alone in this Kelly. Your 51 family is here for you and we won’t let you go through this alone. We’ve got you and we’ve got Lizzie.’

‘She was the best mom’, he said, lifting his head out of his hands slightly to gaze across the room. Matt followed his line of sight and saw that his eyes had landed on a framed photo of Stella and Lizzie laughing. ‘She was scared about it when we found out we were expecting but she was incredible. The pregnancy, the birth, everything. I fell in love with her even more every day.’ He wiped a wayward tear but a hint of a sad smile was beginning to tug on his lips. ‘And then Lizzie came along and she’s the spitting image of Stella. A mini her if ever there was one. She talks like her, walks like her, has her eyes and her smile. Stella taught her everything she knew, and I know she’s so proud of her,’ his smile faltered but he continued. ‘I’m so proud of her. I’m proud of them both. They made me who I am but without Stella… it just feels like a piece of me is missing. And I don’t want to pass that hurt on to Lizzie. She doesn’t deserve that. She’s so perfect. Too perfect to be in pain.’

Matt sat silently, letting his friend get everything out that he needed to. It was breaking him to see Kelly in this much pain and for the first time he really understood why he had been avoiding seeing his daughter.

He was trying to protect her. To let her have a couple more hours, more days, before her life would be changed forever. He didn’t want to be the one that caused her pain.

‘Stella didn’t deserve to die.’ Kelly said into the silence. Matt didn’t know how to respond, he agreed of course but in their line of work unfortunately they could never guarantee they would walk out of every fire. Both he and Kelly understood that but he guessed the reality was something that couldn’t be completely comprehended until it happened.

‘Is she okay?’ Kelly said, turning his head quickly to look at Matt who looked stunned at the question. ‘Lizzie, I mean.’

Matt nodded. ‘She’s fine. She misses you and her mom and has been asking about you. Cindy and Hermann have just been saying you’re still at work which seems to have appeased her for now but it won’t for much longer.’

Kelly nodded, wiping his hands across his face and pressing his heels into his eyes. ‘Will you come with me?’ He asked as he stood up. ‘To tell her?’

Matt nodded in agreement, ‘I’m here for whatever you need. We’re family.’

—————————————————————————

Whilst Kelly showered and got himself cleaned up, Matt busied himself by tidying up around the apartment. Throwing out all the empty bottles and checking the contents of the food containers to see if anything could be saved and refrigerating what he could salvage. By the time Kelly came out of the bedroom, the loft was back to looking in a more inhabitable state.

‘You didn’t have to-’ but Matt shook his head before Kelly could finish his sentence.

‘Don’t. We’re family.’ He smiled, and Kelly returned it, albeit a smaller smile but it was genuine all the same. ‘I called Cindy to let her know we were coming over’. Kelly nodded. ‘You ready?’ Matt asked.

‘No, but I don’t think I ever will be.’

‘Come on then, let’s go’. Matt said, leading the way to the door. He turned around once he had reached it and saw Kelly rooted firmly to the same spot he had been a minute before. He opened the door and waited patiently. He knew his friend just needed another moment, he had said he was going to see Lizzie today and Matt believed him.

‘Okay’, Kelly said shakily as he ran his hand through his hair and walked through the door Matt was holding open for him.

—————————————————————————

The drive to the Hermann’s was tense, the air was thick. Everytime Matt glanced over Kelly he was bouncing his leg and wringing his hands. The old roommates sat in silence, this was going to be tough no matter which way you span it and if Kelly needed any help, Matt hoped he knew he could ask.

When they walked up to the door, Severide hesitated with his fist outstretched, an inch away from making contact with the wood. Matt rested his hand comfortingly on his shoulder and felt an ounce of tension drain from Kelly who knocked 3 times before taking a step back.

Cindy opened the door, a sad smile on her face as she pulled Kelly in for a hug.

‘I’m so sorry for your loss Kelly,’ she said quietly, holding him tightly before pulling back. ‘She’s in the garden.’

Kelly nodded and pulled his lips into a tight line.

‘I’ll stay with Cindy but we will be in here if you need us,’ Matt said, closing the front door behind them and gesturing to the living room.

Kelly nodded again and walked towards the backdoor. Matt heard the yells of ‘Daddy!’ when he opened it. It felt like a stab to his chest knowing that that excited voice would become the exact opposite in just a few moments.

He and Cindy sat side by side on the couch, neither knowing what to say or do, trying to give the Severide’s their privacy but at the same time being ready to jump in with support if it was needed.

After 15 minutes when neither Kelly or Lizzie had reappeared, Matt walked into the kitchen to peer out the window. What he was greeted with, shattered his heart even more.

Kelly was sitting on the swing, with Lizzie in his lap, her body curled tightly into his, his arms around her, a hand running over her hair. Matt could see the tears on Kelly’s face from here and could see how the little girl's body was shaking too. Severide was talking quietly to her whilst lightly pushing the swing back and forth. Matt stood there for a moment, before it felt like he was intruding on a private moment and returned to the living room. He smiled softly at Cindy and nodded at the unasked question.

A couple of minutes later, Severide appeared with a tired Lizzie still curled in his arms holding on tightly to her father.

‘Uncle Matt, is it alright if you take me and Lizzie home?’ He asked, his eyes were still red from the tears but he seemed lighter than when he had left the loft.

‘Of course’, Matt got up and smiled. ‘You okay?’ he mouthed, not wanting to ask anything else outright in front of Lizzie. Severide nodded with a sad smile.

Lizzie fell asleep in the back of Sylvie’s car as Matt drove them back to the loft so Severide carried her upstairs and tucked her in on the couch.

‘I don’t want to put her in her room in case she wakes up and doesn’t know where she is’, Kelly said as he leant against the kitchen island, with Matt on the other side.

‘Good idea. Do you want me to get you two anything?’ He asked but Kelly shook his head.

‘You’ve already done enough man, we appreciate it. And I know Stella would too’, he smiled sadly again. ‘When are you going back to Portland?’ he asked curiously, knowing his best friend must have had to drop everything quickly to make it out to Chicago as fast as he did.

‘Still got a few things to work out on that front, but I’ll let you know.’ Matt smiled as he picked up his jacket. ‘I’ll leave you to it, but call me if you need anything okay?’ Kelly nodded and followed Matt to the door.

‘Thanks again, not sure anyone else could have got me out that door today’.

Matt hesitated and then pulled Kelly into a hug, slapping him a couple of times on the back before pulling away. ‘Family means family’.

—————————————————————————

Matt used the remainder of the day visiting his sister who he hadn’t seen since he had left either. She hadn’t heard about Stella but had met her a few times so was still saddened by the news. She offered to let him stay there that night which he took her up on. Sylvie had said he could crash at hers again but it felt weird being there without her and he didn’t want to intrude on Severide’s time with his daughter.

He got up early the following morning, his flight was later that afternoon but he had a couple of things he wanted to get done before he headed to the airport.

First was to stop by 51. He was picking up Sylvie and a conversation with her was high on his list but first, he had a meeting with Boden.

He had called his old boss and mentor the previous afternoon when it became clear to Matt that he was needed back in Chicago. The same thing that had called him to leave for Potrland in the first place, was now calling him home. Family.

He wanted to speak to Boden about returning to the CFD. And specifically about returning to Boden’s district. He knew he wanted to return to 51 at some point but for now he would settle to being somewhere under Boden’s watchful eye.

He hadn’t expected the meeting to be as direct as it had been. Boden without hesitation offered him the command position back on Truck 81. It wasn’t the same company it had been when he had left but Boden was wary about putting a floater or someone from another house into the empty space. The whole house was grieving and that crew specifically had lost their leader. But if there was anyone who Boden felt comfortable being in charge of the truck, it was Matt Casey. He was grieving too and understood just what an important person's shoes he would be attempting to step into.

Matt had been shocked by the offer and let him know he would need to speak to Kelly about it. Although for years 81 had been his rig, it was Stella’s now and her husband should at least get a say about who would take over. He didn’t want anyone to feel like he was replacing her or usurping her position.

He was still deep in thought, when Sylvie walked onto the apron.

‘Penny for them?’ She asked with a smile, nudging him gently with her shoulder.

‘Not sure they’re worth that but I’ll tell you in a bit. Fancy a walk along the riverwalk? I missed it in Portland’.

—————————————————————————

Matt wasn’t sure what Sylvie’s response would be when he told her he was coming back to Chicago. He hadn’t expected her to jump into his arms immediately but he also hadn’t been expecting the stoney silence he was currently experiencing.

‘Say something Sylvie,’ he asked as they continued to meander next to the river.

‘Don’t come back just for me,’ she said quietly and abruptly stopped.

‘What?’ Matt asked, confused, turning around to face her.

‘I’ve moved for relationships before Matt, and felt stuck and I don’t want you to feel like that.’ She ran a hand through her hair, her expression difficult to read. ‘If you want to come back to Chicago for you, then please do. I know it’s your home. But if you’re only coming back for me, then please… please don’t’.

‘I’m coming back for a number of reasons,’ Matt started. ‘But I won’t lie to you and say that you aren’t included in that. But you’re not the only one.’ He added quickly as she opened her mouth to interrupt him.

‘There’s nothing holding me in Portland anymore. Griffin is in Chicago now and Ben’s off at college. And sure I like my job there but it’s got nothing on the CFD. And I need to be here for Severide. He won’t say he needs the help or even ask for it, but this is going to be so hard on him and Lizzie. I can’t abandon them.’

He reached out his palm, hoping Sylvie would take it. He squeezed her hand lightly when she did.

‘But the reason we didn’t work was because I wasn’t here. And I’m not saying we will get back together or everything would be simple again but if I’m here then at least there’s a chance, right?’ he smiled and Sylvie returned it warmly.

‘There’s a chance’, she echoed. ‘But what about work? Will the CFD have you back?’

‘Boden’s offered me the spot on 81. But I need to talk to Kelly before I take it. I don’t want him to think I’m erasing Stella’s legacy by going back to it. She deserves to be remembered and held in everyone’s memory.’

The pair continued to stroll along the riverwalk, taking in the early morning bustle of Chicago. And if they were still holding hands at the end of it, then neither of them mentioned it.

—————————————————————————

Sylvie dropped Matt off at the loft again, having called ahead to make sure it was alright for him to pop in.

‘Hey’, Kelly said as he welcomed Matt in through the door. A stark comparison to the last time he had opened the door for him. ‘Want breakfast?’ He gestured to the kitchen where the bacon was cooking in the pan.

‘Nah I picked something up with Sylvie’, Matt smiled and followed him over, taking a seat at one of the bar stools.

‘Interesting’, Kelly said with a smirk as he turned the bacon over.

‘Shush, but there is something I want to talk to you about’, he said, a sudden sense of apprehension filling him.

‘Shoot’, Kelly said, busying himself with some eggs.

‘I’m coming back to Chicago. And Boden offered me the command of 81’. He saw Kelly freeze, still facing away from him. After a couple of seconds of silence, Matt continued. ‘But I told him I needed to speak to you. 81 is Stella’s truck and I don’t want you to think I’m stepping in where I shouldn’t, or trying to take over from her.’

Kelly turned around and shook his head. ‘If anyone’s going to take over from Stella, I’m glad it’s you.’ He said with a smile, his eyes brimming with tears. ‘You understand how big of a task it is, to walk in her shoes. And I know the crew would respect you, unlike if someone new came along and tried to take her place. And I know Stella would be okay with it too.’

‘If you’re sure?’ Matt asked.

‘I’m sure, but you’re sure you want to come back to Chicago? You’re not just coming back because of me and Lizzie right?’ He gestured at himself and then down the corridor with the spatula in his hand. ‘Because we’ll be okay, it’ll be a tough road, but we will be okay’.

Matt chuckled lightly, ‘you sound just like Sylvie. No I’m not just coming back for you too, although it has factored into my decision. And no, before you ask, I’m not just coming back for Sylvie either. Chicago is my home and my family is here. And it’s time for me to come back to that’.

‘Okay then’, Kelly said, downing his tools and walking round to the other side of the island. ‘Welcome back to Chicago,’ he said as he pulled Matt into a hug.

‘I do have to go back to Portland first and actually resign,’ he chuckled as Kelly pulled back a smirk etched on his face. ‘But I’ll be back for the funeral in a couple of days, and then I’m staying. For good.’

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write4life13 · 7 months

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Chapter 3 of Trapped for a While is now up! Hope you enjoy!!

#chicago fire #brettsey #sylvie brett #matt casey #brett x casey #matt x sylvie #stellaride #will include brettsey and stellaride #ao3 #fanfic #kelly severide #hoping that sylvie and Kelly will be friends now

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severide-kelly · 2 years

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Stella was on a cleaning spree.

She had the whole day with no plans and Kelly was due at the academy all day she wanted to do something, but also not go out, because it was cold as hell out there. And so what started as picking up a few bits of clothing in the bedroom had ended with her moving the whole bedroom round, deep cleaning it all and shifting the furniture. She hoped Kelly would like the new layout because she didn't fancy shifting it back again.

She didn't stop after that and moved on to the living area. The place was still very much to Kelly's taste. It wasn't a cosy little space that she might have picked but she loved it still. It was spacious yet still casual. She didn't think she needed to move anything around out here but she wanted to deep clean the whole place still and then meant moving things out of the way so everything would be cleaned. When the pizza guy knocked on the door, she had piles of junk from one of the cupboards stacked on the floor. She took a dinner break and planned her next move.

But once she got back into it and started moving the contents of one of the drawers back, closing the drawer once she finished, something clattered to the floor that caught her attention. Seems like it had fallen from a cluttered drawer some time ago and got wedged in the back of the cupboard. She picked up the clear CD case and saw a disc with 'The Contract' written on it. She knew straight away that it wasn't Kelly's handwriting. He had a very distinctive 'E' for a start. She moved over to the TV and popped the disc in and pressed play. She waited a moment while the disc span before Kelly's face came onto the screen. She heard a woman talking off camera, clearly, the person filming and they bantered together as they readied themselves to record their 'contract'.

Kelly made the first couple of rules. The first was about not getting into one another's business and the second one was not bringing work home. Stella smiled. That sounded exactly like the things Kelly would still say if he had to come up with a roommate's contract now. Kelly told her it was her turn and he took the camera.

Stella had seen photographs of Shay before but seeing her on film she was blown away by her beauty. Shay expanded on Kelly's idea of not bringing personal life into work as what they did was bigger than that. Finally, she says that they promise to be there for each other. They both say always. And then it ends.

Stella takes the disc out and puts it back in the slightly cracked old case and wonders what she should do with it. Assuming that Kelly put it away a while back because it had bad memories for him, she wonders if he watched it now, maybe he'd get some sort of comfort from seeing Shay again, hearing her voice.

But on the other hand, maybe it would just bring up a lot of bad memories. This is a puzzle she couldn't solve alone.

~ "So, what do you think I should do? Shove it away like I never saw it or say something?" Stella asked.

She was at Molly's. It was close to closing time just a few of the regulars and some of the crew from 51 who she was relying on to solve this for her.

"Where's it now? 'Cause if you didn't put it away already- problem solved!" Mouch said.

"It's in my bag because I panicked and thought what if he saw it in my stuff and thought I was being weird about it."

"You are being weird about it," Herrmann corrected. "What if he looked in your bag and saw it instead? That'd look weird too."

"Well, he's not here so it's fine," Stella said. "And you know the help part of this from you guys would really be handy about now."

"My opinion? Put it back where you found it and leave it alone. You don't want to be responsible for rocking the boat." Mouch suggested.

"Nah. Just tell him you found it. No big deal. 'Hey, look what I found when I was clearing up today?' If he doesn't wanna deal with it, he can just put it away himself. If he's been looking for it or wants to see it, then he can. Even if it's not with you."

"That does make sense. Just, don't make a big deal about it, right?"

Kelly was still up when Stella got home.

He liked to go to Molly's when she was running a shift but he'd been beat after helping out at OFI until late after a full shift at the academy and had just wanted to unwind with a beer at home.

He was glad to hear the door unlocking as Stella got home.

"Hey," he greeted her. She responded likewise. "How was your shift?"

"Yeah, it was pretty quiet tonight but you know how it is. Mid-week can be like that." She joined him on the sofa and kissed him. "So listen I was having a clean up-"

"Yeah, I noticed. Trying to tell me something?"

Stella smiled. "I just wanted to do a deep clean. Felt like it was a good use of my time. Listen, I found something while I was cleaning up and I didn't know what to do with it."

"Okay."

Reaching into her bag, Stella took out the DVD case and handed it to Kelly. "I thought that it might have been put away for a reason and I didn't want to..." She realised she'd gone off her planned casual discussion about it. "I can put it back away again if it's not something you wanna deal with right now."

"No, it's-" he paused as he took the item from her and looked it over. "It's been a while since I watched it. Did you watch it?"

"Yeah. Is that okay?"

He smiles. "Course. Nothing's off limits to you." He put the disc back down. "I don't think about her so much any more. And then when I do, I feel bad because I wasn't thinking about her as much."

"That's normal. Doesn't change how you felt about her," Stella said. She moved closer to him and put a hand over his. She didn't want to smother him if he wasn't feeling up to it but he moved his hand so he was holding hers. She leaned in closer. "I wish I'd known you then. I wish I could have helped you through it." She knew how Kelly coped when Benny died. She didn't expect that he handled Shay's death a lot better but he wouldn't have had such conflicting feelings with her. Both deaths were tragic in their own way, but Benny held a lot of unforgiven hurt for Kelly something that would never go away. With all the time in the world, Benny could never have made those wrongs right to Kelly.

He kisses her. It's soft and affectionate rather than passionate. He's not instigating things, he's thanking her wordlessly. She pulls him into her, cradles his head to her body and he shifts himself so he's laying on the sofa, head in her lap.

#Kelly Severide #Stella Kidd #Stellaride #Chicago Fire #Fanfic #oneshot #drabble

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saralayne · 10 months

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ABC’s Stellaride Style 🩵🩷

Chapter 1 ~ Appreciate

7x22. After the epic cabin scene. Kelly getting real with Stella.

I Appreciate You”

After many hours of passionate love making. Basking in the glow of the fire burning in the living room fireplace. The cabin, away from everything and everyone. Kelly was no longer feeling lost and alone. He had the love of his life back in his arms. A moment he never thought he would have again. A second chance. He wasn’t convinced that he was deserving but he wasn’t questioning it. Everything he had lost a few months ago had come back to him. Kelly always felt he had luck on his side at times, too many close calls throughout the years, but this made him think that he was the luckiest guy in the world. The way he pushed Stella away after Benny had passed away. The feeling of regret l, guilt, anger and sadness took over. Kelly dealt with the darkness the only way he knew how. Putting those damn walls up and pushing everyone away. A living wrecking ball. Even pushing away the the one person he loved more than life itself.

Of course Stella kept fighting for their relationship. She knew it was his grief taking over. She also knew how he dealt with the hard stuff. As much as she loved him there was only so much pushing away Stella could handle. That came a few months back and she did something she never, ever wanted to do nor did she think she would ever have to do. Kelly was it for her BUT their relationship was crumbling and feeling toxic. So she ended things. Here they were back together. Kelly wasn’t holding back. He was going to make sure to communicate with Stella. No more pushing her away. Even if it was uncomfortable for him. He was going to be the man she deserved. He was never taking a chance of losing the best damn thing that has ever happened to him.

“WHAT?” Stella murmured

“I appreciate you”

“Well thank you babe. I have to agree. Tonight was pretty perfect and incredible”

“Yes it was. And don’t get me wrong. I do appreciate every second of the last few hours but I appreciate you. Every part of you”

“Kelly Severide. Who are you?” Stella smirked

“I know. I know. I meant what I said. I’m going to be the man you deserve. Not the man I have been. You deserve so much more”

Stella had tears forming in the corner of her bright brown eyes.

“Kelly. Thank you for that. I hope you know that I never stopped loving you. EVER”

“Me neither baby. In the end you did the right thing. I was a mess. Digging myself down a dark hole. I took you for granted and I don’t know if I will ever fully forgive myself for that. But I’m just so grateful I’ve been given a second chance with you. I’m always going to appreciate you. Appreciate us. Forever”

“Kelly, I love you so much. WE are being given a second chance. There are things I wish I would have done differently as well. Getting here, right now, was worth everything”

“Stel. I’m never letting you go ever again”

“Ditto. Babe. Ditto”

Chapter 2 ~ Butterflies

8x04. How Stella is feeling after Kelly’s magic words following the hazmat fire.

An old man in bed with our kids, grandkids and you surrounding me”

Those magical words escaped from Kelly’s mouth with no hesitation and shocked Stella to the core. He really saw a forever future with her. Stella knew how she felt about her boyfriend but seeing as they had just gotten back together she wasn’t sure what he saw for their future. Kelly was never someone who found it easy to communicate his feelings but these particular words came off the tip of his tongue without even thinking. Stella had been feeling a little freaked out by what they had endured in this fire. It had become a serious hazmat situation and was incredibly dangerous. Kelly always had a gift of being able to calm her nerves when she needed it. She just hadn’t anticipated he would ever express himself in such a deep manner.

As Kelly was called away by Casey to talk with Voight and Boden. Stella had a feeling of butterflies swarming through her stomach. Gosh, she loved this man so much. As everything came to a close and shift had ended from this horrendous day, a small wave of fear came over Stella. Had he said those words in the heat of the moment? Because of the situation they were experiencing. She hopes with everything that she was just getting in her head. He had surely meant what he had said but she needed to know for sure. She never wanted this butterfly feeling to go away. It made her so happy thinking of a future with Kelly. Marriage and having babies. Having the perfect life with the man she was so deeply in love.

As Kelly and Stella settled in for the night at the loft. Stella had to rip the hand aid off.

“Kelly, Can we talk about something?”

“Of course, babe”

“Did you truly mean what you said earlier today at the call? I mean, I know you were trying to make me feel better and calm me from the events of the day”

“STELLA. Of course I meant it. Every word of it. I have felt this way for some time now. Saying what I said didn’t come out of left field. It felt like the perfect time and situation. There is no rush for us taking those big steps but hear me when I say, I want that life with you. It’s always been you. So when I’m an old man, YES. I’m more than certain it will be you, our kids and grandkids surrounding me”

“GOOD. Because I have to say after you walked away. All I felt was butterflies. Absolute love and admiration for you. I never want those feelings to go away. I have also dreamt of that life with you for a long time now. It doesn’t scare me. It just feels so right. There is no rush. Just knowing that’s how you truly feel as well. It means…EVERYTHING”

“Baby. I am always going to feel that way. FOREVER. I never thought given my past I would want or even deserve that life. You changed all of that for me when you walked into 51. It may of taken some ups and downs to get here but the future for us is going to be full of milestones and big steps. I CAN’T WAIT FOR ALL OF IT. I love you, Stella Kidd”

“I love you, Kelly Severide. You are a dream to me. A dream I never want to wake up from”

Stella knew she would spend the rest of her life having that ‘Butterfly’ feeling with the love of her life.

Chapter 3 ~ Comfort

10x17. Kelly being the man Stella deserves as she navigates painful memories that resurface after helping Adriana.

Stella had long since moved on from her past. Her life was wonderful now. She was now a lieutenant. Had her family at 51 and most importantly has an amazing relationship with her now fiancé Kelly. Stella was thriving. Set to marry the love of her life, squad lieutenant Kelly Severide. If any of the 51 family was asked, one word comes to mind…FINALLY. Stella and Kelly had been through so much together. Their journey came with ups and downs but one thing remained firm. They were so in love with each other. Both Kelly and Stella had pulled one another out of their own past darkness. Stella never even thought about her ex husband Grant anymore. That time in her life was over. How toxic their relationship was filled with addiction and abuse. Now, Stella had a forever, healthy relationship and most importantly felt Kelly was her safe place. He would always protect and love her unconditionally.

After helping Adriana. Seeing the bruising around her neck at the hands of an abusive man. The manipulation. Feeling of isolation. All of it came back into Stella’s memories. In many ways, it felt to Stella like she was looking in a mirror seeing what Adriana was going through. All of a sudden, a feeling of fear paralyzed Stella. What if Grant ever came back? He had already come back a few years ago when he attacked her. If it hadn’t been for Kelly protecting her, she probably wouldn’t be here. She never wanted to see Grant ever again. He could easily find her. Past pain and trauma has a way of coming back as a reminder at times. This is what Stella was experiencing after helping keep Adriana safe. Relieved the man who was harming her was behind bars and Adriana wouldn’t have to worry anymore. She could heal and move forward with her life.

As Kelly and Stella were relaxing at home that night. Stella explained what had happened with Adriana. Kelly could see Stella was struggling. Those chocolate brown eyes that were usually full of light and brightness seemed dim, fearful even. Kelly knew full well the situation with Adriana must have brought up the most painful memories for his fiancée. Kelly had only found out earlier in the day, as they investigate the car accident Adriana was involved in, the severity of the physical abuse Stella endured at the hands of Grant. Stella never talked about the specifics and Kelly respected her not to dig deep into everything she went through. He knew what she had told him. After Grant re-emerged a few years back. Kelly saw first hand that he was a dangerous man especially in the peak of his addiction. So, he knew Stella was abused verbally and emotionally but now he knew he had physically harmed her as well. Stella had told him. He knew it was probably extremely difficult for her to take herself back to the part of her life and let those words out. He saw the emotion as she admitted in one instance how Grant had choked her leaving bruises around her neck. This not only broke Kelly’s heart but brought out anger. The thought of anyone laying one finger on the love of his life made him see red.

As they sat together. Stella eventually curled herself into Kelly’s chest. She needed that feeling of comfort.

“Stella. Talk to me”

“I-I today was a lot. I never think about my past anymore. On my home from the police station I felt relieved but also felt a little scared”

“Scared. Why do you feel scared?”

“Just the thought of Grant ever coming back. He knows how to find me. The thought of him trying to hurt me again, or hurting us”

“Stella. Stop right there. Hear what I am saying. Grant will NEVER EVER get anywhere near you again. He will never be able to lay one finger on you. That’s over and that is a promise. I will move heaven and earth to make sure you are always safe. You may have been alone in the past but not anymore. You now have me. We are going to be husband and wife. My priority is for you to always feel and safe and loved. I love you so much, Stella Kidd. Never forget that I will always be your safe space. OK?”

“OK. I love you so much Kelly. I can’t wait to marry you”

“Me too baby. If you ever feel sadness or fear, I’m always going to be here to hold you. Comfort you. ALWAYS AND FOREVER”

Stella wasn’t scared anymore. She knew she would always be safe as long as she had Kelly, her soon to be husband.

Chapter 4 ~ Dream

10x21. After Kelly’s food truck investigation took a dangerous turn. Kelly and Stella deciding to get married right away. Kelly expressed all she wanted was for Stella to become his wife. No more waiting.

The food truck investigation had taken a turn and found himself outnumbered. He now sat in the hospital, sore from the action that had ensued. Stella was on her way back to 51 with her team when Boden came on the radio to tell her there had been an incident. Panic-stricken she raced to the hospital hopeful her fiancée was OK. Things had been tense between her and Kelly recently. Wedding planning woes. Stella may been getting a little carried away with details. There was a deeper issue though. The fear for both of them taking the big step and manifesting what was really going on. Kelly saw it. He realized they needed to stop questioning things. No more planning. Kelly just didn’t care anymore where they got married or any other details. All he wanted was to marry Stella. As Kelly had bandages over his body from the beating he had endured, everything was put in perspective. Kelly was right. They didn’t need a perfectly planned wedding. They just needed to become husband and wife. No more feeling scared. “Let’s just do it”

The next day Stella was revamping wedding plans as they were preparing to get married in a few days. Everyone at 51 was on board to help with all preparations. Kelly had been dealing with this food truck investigation as it was a big drug operation. He was helping the police bring Campbell down. Again, there was a dangerous altercation at the courthouse which ended with him throwing a man through a plate glass window in self defence. Stella was worried. These dangerous men were still on the streets. She just wasn’t sure it them getting married right now was a good decision. After Kelly returned from this harrowing situation, she made her way way to his quarters.

“Kelly. Babe. Are you sure getting married now is a good idea? These men are still out there. You have now been attacked twice. You had to protect yourself and I am eternally grateful you did. This has been a lot for you to handle. Plus, adding on getting married. I’m worried about you”

“Stella. Stop. We are getting married. I have police protection. They are going after Campbell now. We are not waiting. Look, I have one dream and that dream is for you to be my wife. Me to be your husband. I have wanted to marry you for such a long time. Literally years. I’m not letting anyone or anything ruin this dream. Our dream. So please don’t worry. Let’s continue to plan. And in a few days our dream will finally come true when I see you walk down that aisle, looking so beautiful. This wedding is happening”

“Smooth. Kelly Severide. Smooth. OK. Let’s make our dream come true”

In a few days Kelly and Stella were going to become husband and wife. It was going to be perfect. Their dream was finally going to be a reality.

Chapter 5 ~ Elated

9x14. After Stella receives her lieutenant exam results. Kelly conveying his feelings.

Stella had taken the lieutenants exam a few days ago and she still hadn’t gotten her results. She was a ball of nerves. Kelly reassured her every step of the way. Casey lent his support as well. It was distracting. All she could do was keep busy and try to not let it consume her. Easier said than done. Kelly was just as nervous but he knew there was nothing to worry about. After all, she’s Stella Kidd. She had killed that exam. But confirmation would make it official. Kelly was holding off on telling her what had really been in his mind because he wanted her to only concentrate on preparing for her exam. Kelly wanted to ask Stella to marry him. There was absolutely no doubt in his mind she was his forever. Stella had once said she never wanted to get married again after her marriage to Grant. She never wanted to be put in a position where she couldn’t leave. Kelly was nervous about asking her. But at the end of the day he knew they were different. She had said that a long time ago and so much had changed for her. Kelly knew he wanted to marry her.

Later at Molly’s. Stella was still very nervous. Still no results. Making sure Kelly knew she made need a distraction later. He was more than happy to offer that distraction for her. As she was clearing tables. Boden walked in and had her exam results. All of the eyes in Molly’s were on Boden and Stella. They were a family and everyone wanted this so much for Stella. Boden delivered the wonderful news. She had passed. She was now a lieutenant. Kelly felt pure elation for his girlfriend (and hopefully soon fiancée) Stella jumped into his arms. “I knew you could do it” As Stella received hugs from everyone at 51. Kelly became emotional. He was so proud of Stella. So proud. There were so many reasons he loved her more than life itself. Celebrations continued throughout the night. Eventually, much later. Stella and Kelly returned home. They obviously had their own private celebration filled with pride and passion. As they laid snuggled against each other in bed. Sweaty and happy.

“Stella. I am so proud of you. You did it baby”

“Kelly I couldn’t have done it without you. Always encouraging me. Studying with me. Keeping me calm. Thank you. I really am the luckiest girl in the world”

“We’re a team. When Boden said lieutenant. I felt pure elation and joy. I had no doubt you had killed the exam. Just having the confirmation. There is no one that deserves this more than you. You’re amazing. I’m so excited for you and what you’re going to accomplish. The leader you will become”

As Kelly and Stella fell asleep. There was no doubt that they had many good things on the horizon.

Chapter 6 ~ Faithful

6x23. After the trial with Renee. Kelly came home to his girlfriend, telling her what really happened. Reassuring Stella.

Kelly felt proud after the trial had ended. He was able to help fellow firefighters get the justice they deserved. It had been awkward at first when Renee showed up at the firehouse to ask for his assistance. Even going as far to use her son as bait to reconnect with Kelly. He personally didn’t see her motives as he only thought about one woman. He only loved one woman and that was Stella. As far as he was concerned, Renee was far in his past. Sure, he had loved her at one time. Was even blinded by her lies. It wasn’t for Shay, it could have ended very badly. Renee had sunk to a new low. Lying to Kelly after she became pregnant, convincing him the baby was his. Luckily, Shay saw right through her lies. After that revelation, their relationship imploded immediately. Kelly lost all trust in relationships. He kept anything with any woman casual. Never risking having his heart broken again. That was until Stella Kidd walked through the 51 doors. Slowly, she pulled him out of the darkness. Opened his heart again. Broke down those protective walls. Now she was his girlfriend. He trusted her with his whole heart. So, he agreed to help in this case. For the greater good, to help his fellow men. Renee had really thought she had an in to recapture Kelly’s heart again especially with her son being a factor. Reneee knew he was dating Stella but she wasn’t quite prepared for how much he truly loved Stella.

Stella, unlike her boyfriend, had serious reservations about Renee. This wasn’t a feeling of jealousy. This was purely het not trusting Renee’s motives. She had been told by Gabby what had happened with Renee. That made her even more skeptical. Stella trusted Kelly 100%, but she surely didn’t trust Renee. Her suspicion even led her to warn Renee to not mess with Kelly.

After their success with the trial both Kelly and Renee were more than happy with the verdict. Kelly was left shocked when Renee planted a kiss on him. ‘What the hell was she thinking?’

“Renee. What the hell are you doing?” He said while aggressively pushing her off his chest

“I’m sorry Kelly. We were having a moment. I wanted to take a chance. I still love you. I know I screwed up. I have loved seeing you again”

“Renee. STOP. We are in the past. I am in love with Stella. She is the love of my life. You ruined us with your lies. But it was for the best because it brought Stella into my life and I have never looked back. She is my future l. I’m glad I was able to help you with this case. This will be the last conversation we have. Now if you excuse me. I’m going to be with Stella”

Kelly immediately went over to Stella’s. She wasn’t there so he was going to wait. He didn’t want there to be any secrets. He was going to tell her what Renee had done. Stella arrived home asking Kelly why he never picked her up as she was waiting for him”

“I was waiting for you, I came straight here” he explained.

Stella walked over to him, sitting in his lap. Pressing her head against his chest.

“I just missed you”

“All I think about is you”

She grabbed his chin and pulled his lips towards hers for a kiss. He lingered for a moment before pulling back.

“Stella I need to tell you something. I don’t want there to be any secrets between us”

“OK”

“After we won the trial. Renee kissed me”

“Well that doesn’t surprise me. I sensed she still wanted you. I even warned her not to mess with you. I trust you, Kelly. I just don’t trust her. Did yo-you kiss her back?”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT. I immediately pushed her away and told her the only woman I love is you. I told her you are my future. ONLY YOU, Stella. I need you to know how much I love you. I will always be faithful to you. I would never ruin us by cheating, hurting you like that. EVER. You are the love of my life, Stella Kidd”

“You are mine babe. I trust you completely. Thank you for telling me the truth. You are a good man, Kelly Severide.

Chapter 7 ~ Grateful

9x06. Kelly expressed his gratitude after ghosting Stella to protect her reputation before she is to take the lieutenants exam.

When Kylie asked to talk to Kelly, he wasn’t prepared for the words that escaped her mouth. Stella wasn’t going to take the lieutenants exam. He really had screwed up. He was trying to protect her but was quickly realizing he was risking losing her altogether. Not only that, he had her questioning her confidence. Kelly felt his stomach drop as he was consumed with guilt. That asshole white shirt had completely gotten into Kelly’s head and now he was ruining everything. Not only derailing her career but he was also putting their relationship in jeopardy. He cannot lose Stella. She is the love of his life. His forever. The only woman he would love for the rest of his life. ‘What had be done?’ ‘How had he let it get this far?’ Feeling of panic overtook Kelly’s thoughts.

After shift Kelly raced over to Sylvie’s apartment. That is where Stella had been staying given that Kelly was not communicating with her. She had had enough after trying to talk to him on a couple of occasions. Stella felt history was repeating itself and she needed space away from him to think about things. Stella was so confused on why he was treating her this way. Not knowing what had happened at HQ. Kelly wasn’t talking. Stella still hadn’t decided what she was going to do about the exam. She didn’t want to throw this opportunity away. Boden tells her to really think about prolonging taking the exam. Still, she felt so distracted. She was losing focus. Her thoughts were consumed by what was going on with her love. Her boyfriend. Her heart was slowly breaking the longer this went on. Stella was angry but also sad. She was so in love with Kelly Severide. Not wanting to lose him. As Stella was trying to concentrate and study, she heard a knock at the door. She looked through the peephole and saw Kelly.

After a very intense conversation. Kelly finally told her why he had been acting distant. Stella reminds him she can handle whatever is thrown at her from the white shirts. What she can’t handle is Kelly not communicating with her. Shutting her out. Putting up walls. They were past this. Long past this behaviour. Finally, both Kelly and Stella tell one another they weren’t letting each other get away. Stella gathered her belongings she had with her and they headed back to the loft in separate cars.

Later, at home. Kelly had turned on the TV and they were relaxing in each others arms. Both Kelly and Stella feeling a sense of relief. They had quickly returned to normalcy.

“Stella, I’m so sorry for letting the white shirts get in my head. I honestly was only trying to protect you but I realize how wrong I was. I should have talked to you about everything. I should’ve never let it get this far. Baby, I know I hurt you. I meant what I said “I’m never letting you get away from me again”

“It’s OK, Kelly. I know babe. I need you through this. You have always been my biggest supporter. I not only need but also want you by my side as I go for this. Please, just always talk to me”

“I will Stel. I promise. I am so grateful that you have faith i me, in us. I’m going to be with you every step of the way. Just know I have absolutely no doubt that you are going to kick ass with the lieutenants exam and become an amazing leader. You don’t need me but I’m so grateful to walk alongside you and support you”

“You’re a good man, Kelly Severide”

“I’m that man because of you, Stella Kidd”

Chapter 8 ~ Heroic

11x01. Kelly saving Stella after their honeymoon at the cabin almost turns deadly.

Kelly and Stella had taken the plunge. After the tense moments leading up to the wedding, they were husband and wife. The last minute wedding on the boat was perfect. It was everything both of them had wanted. They had decided to go straight to the cabin for a few days and live in newlywed bliss. They didn’t need a destination honeymoon. All they needed was each other. The cabin held very special memories in their relationship. So, it was a no-brainer to have their honeymoon together there.

Their honeymoon started out blissful. Full of love and passion. It sure was turning out to be a perfect wedding night. Until it wasn’t…

As Kelly and Stella lay sweaty on the floor, making love as newly married couple, it all nearly turning deadly. They suddenly heard the front door of the cabin being shot at. Kelly quickly told Stella to get dressed and crawl out the back window. Kelly followed his wife. While running through the dark woods and being chased, Kelly desperately directed Stella to run and keep running. Stella did not want to leave her husband. As Stella tripped, she soon found herself vulnerable with a gun pointed at her head. Was this it? This is how it would end for them on their wedding night. Until, her knight in shining armor, her husband was able to save her. Kelly was confused when a Pryma arrived at that moment. It didn’t matter. He had Stella in his arms. Desperately wrapping her in his arms. Tears came flowing down Kelly’s cheeks, knowing how close he was to losing her. His whole world was almost taken from him.

After dealing with Pryma and giving statements, Kelly took Stella back home. Both shook to their core. As they were back at the loft, showering, they were both exhausted. The emotions had gone from an ultimate high to low in mere minutes. They laid in bed, trying to turn off their thoughts.

“Stel. I’m so incredibly sorry. This is all my fault. Because I couldn’t let this go. You could have been taken from me. On our damn wedding night. I’m your husband. I’m supposed to be your safe place and protect you. We haven’t even been married a day and I’m already failing you”

“Kelly. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. You wanna know what I think? You pursued this to get drugs and bad men off the streets because that is the man you are. Always protecting people. As for me. Don’t you get it. You did everything you possibly could to save me. Not caring about saving yourself. This is the husband you are. You are MY HERO. You could have never envisioned this ever happening. We are here. Together. Husband and Wife. We waited so long for this moment. We will deal with the aftermath of this but tonight I just want to enjoy finally being your wife”

The Severide’s fell asleep, exhausted from the events of the day. No matter what had happened, they had fallen into dreamland as husband and wife. At that moment that was all that mattered.

Chapter 9 ~ Irresistible

6x15. Kelly is no longer able to resist Stella. His walls finally are coming crumbling down.

Kelly hadn’t felt that kind of panic in a long time. That feeling of pure fear. Stella and Otis had been trapped upstairs with ammunition flying. Kelly was desperate to get to her. Boden was ordering him to stay put. Cruz was also desperately trying to go in as his best friend was also trapped. Kelly liked Otis of course but in that moment he was only thinking of the woman he was in love with (whether he was willing to admit it yet or not) all logical thinking had gone out the window. He was getting to her, even if that meant going against direct orders. He knew he would definitely face consequences. He just didn’t care in that moment. He needed to save her. To remove her from imminent danger m. Kelly barreling into the house. Seeing Stella’s radio had gotten hit but so relieved she hadn’t been it. At that point concentrating on getting Otis to safety as he hadn’t been so lucky and had debris lodged into his neck.

At the hospital. Kelly had to face consequences from Boden, who was seeing red at Kelly’s reckless behaviour. Everyone knew including Boden that Kelly cared about Stella immensely. Knowing he had feelings for her as more than a friend even if he wasn’t willing to admit it. Regardless, his actions could have ended badly.

“I can’t go through this again”

He had lost his best friend Shay. He had lost his girlfriend Anna. No matter what their relationship status was. Kelly knew he wouldn’t survive losing Stella. After Boden tore him a new one, Kelly realized he could not think objectively when it came to Stella m. Fear took over. He felt he had to distance himself because when things got really real or hard, that was the Kelly Severide way. So, of course he avoided Stella. Only having short conversations if he had to. Kelly knew he couldn’t keep going on this way after Casey called him out. Knowing how much he loved Stella. The problem was he was never going to be able to think clearly when she was in danger. Those words haunted Kelly. “That feeling, that connection won’t go away just because you don’t want it to be there”

Molly’s was closed. Stella was there completing inventory. Kelly walked in, not entirely sure how he was going to approach telling Stella how he was feeling. As soon as he walked up to Stella the only thought that came to him was how irresistible Stella was to him. Without saying a word she was breaking his brain. He invited her to lunch, still not knowing what he was going to say and then…

“For once just tell me what your feeling”

Kelly was left speechless. His lips crashing into hers. Passion and lust taking over. It didn’t matter that they were in the middle of Molly’s. Neither one of them could stop what had been plaguing them for months, hell even years when they were hooking up casually.

As they both got redressed.

“Well that was unexpected. Considering you have barely talked to me in the past few days”

“Stella, I’m so sorry. During the call. All rational questions thinking escaped me. After getting chewed out by Boden, which I rightfully deserved, I realized when it came to you. I have absolutely no objectivity. The scary thing is I wouldn’t do anything differently. That terrifies me. Denying how I have been feeling just isn’t working anymore. Stella, you are ruining me in the best way. I could keep rambling on how I’m feeling but it come down to one thing. I want to. I need to be with you. You have snuck into my heart for so long now and this feeling is never gonna go away. As much as I love our friendship, it has now gone way beyond that for me now”

“FINALLY. I have felt the same way for so long too, Kelly. I was just scared you didn’t feel the same way”

“I know communicating is hard for me. Stel, hear me when I say. You are it for me. My beautiful girl”

“So we are going to take this jump? Because I am all in”

“All in Stella Kidd. All in”

Chapter 10 ~ Jealous

6x10-6x13. Kelly faces some realizations before convincing Stella to accompany him to the CFD gala.

Jealous. A feeling that Kelly was not accustomed to. In his past relationships, honestly, he didn’t have to put in much effort. Stella Kidd was breaking him. This girl had absolutely ruined him. The denial worked for a while. It was comfortable and safe being her friend. Her roommate. Allowing him to keep things strictly platonic. Then she started dating hazmat Zac. He is a great guy. Good looking and really seemed to like Stella. As her friend, he knew he should be happy for her. She was in a good relationship, and seemed content. He couldn’t though. On the nights Stella would go out on dates with Zac. Kelly would find himself stewing. Trying to distract himself by watching a hawks game. All he could think about was her. Stella. When she would arrive home. A sense of relief would overpower him. She was home…alone. This was becoming torture for him. How much longer could he go on like this? If anything, the longer this went on they were only going to become more serious.

The CFD gala was tonight. Kelly as an officer was invited. This was a chance to get out and have a good distraction from what he had been feeling. Jealous everytime Stella would leave with her boyfriend. That would make Kelly’s stomach turn. She wasn’t supposed to call another man her boyfriend. That was supposed to be him. The fear of losing what they had. Their friendship. Their living situation. The professional complication. Out of fear, Kelly kept their relationship to a friendship and now all he felt was regret. There was a chance he could lose any opportunity. Would he be able to live with that? He was sure the answer to that was a big NO. As he walked out of his bedroom. Dressed in a green suit. Looking up and seeing Stella in a sleek, fitted black dress. She looked breathtaking. So beautiful. Before he could stop himself, he had convinced her to accompany him to the gala and cancelling her plans with Zac. He didn’t feel bad. He felt happy walking into the gala with Stella. Sure, they were just friends. Hopefully in the future she would accompany him to many more galas.

A few days later after shift Kelly was surprised to see Stella in her comfy, staying at home clothes. Sweats, tank top. Her beautifully curly hair in a messy bun. Still, to Kelly she looked gorgeous.

“No date night tonight?”

“Nope..Just taking a night for myself”

“You OK?”

“Yeah, I’m fine”

“Stella, come on. Talk to me”

“Zac and I broke up. Actually he broke up with me”

“What. Why? Kelly tried to hide the happiness that surely was written all over his face.

“You really wanna know?”

“Of course I do”

“He broke up with me because of you”

“ME?”

“Yeah he is convinced something more is going on with us besides friendship. Crazy, right?”

“Anyway, I’m going to have a hot bath”

Kelly was left in his thoughts. Zac isn’t wrong and it’s about time he told Stella exactly that.

Chapter 11 ~ Kiss

6x06. Kelly’s feelings after respectfully pushing Stella away.

Kelly did not sleep well. Tossing and turning. Restless. Having done something he never thought he would do. Rejecting Stella. Not because he ever wanted to. Truthfully, the last thing he ever wanted to do was reject her. That night when he brought Stella home from Molly’s where she had way too much to drink. Stella had been riddled with stress as she unexpectedly had been transferred to the public relations department. So, when she planted a kiss on him. Kelly pushed her away not wanting to take advantage of her vulnerability. Knowing he did the right thing still plagued him. Wanting nothing more than to share a kiss with her. Truth is he was developing big feelings for Stella. He wanted to do this right. Fear took over. Would Stella understand why he pushed her away?

The next morning came way too soon. Stella, still laying on the couch. She was feeling rough. Feeling the effects of the previous night accompanied by a monstrous headache. Stella seemed like she wasn’t holding anything against him. They went through the morning with their normal, witty banter routine. However, Kelly still knew he wouldn’t feel relief until they had a conversation. Even if Stella didn’t remember, it was going to be this thing between them.

Later on after Stella had a long, refreshing shower and settled in on the couch. Turning on a movie.

“Stel. Can I talk to you?”

“Of course”

“So I don’t know if you remember much of last night..But..”

“Oh, I remember”

“You do?”

“Yes Kelly, I do. It would be more than ok if we never talked about it again”

“That’s the thing. I need to talk about it. I don’t want you to have the wrong idea of why…”

“Kelly. I am going to stop you right there. You absolutely did the right thing last night. It was embarrassing. Humiliating even. As I have thought about it…you know, sober. I’m really feeling grateful to you for showing me respect and not wanting to take advantage of me not being myself”

“That is basically what I wanted to talk to you about. I swear, sometimes we have the same mind. Stella, this may be me overstepping but I need you to know if last night had of been under different circumstances. I definitely would of kissed you back”

As Kelly walked away. Stella reeling in her thoughts. What had Kelly meant by that? Did he in fact have feelings for her? Suddenly, her headache came roaring back with her mind racing. Only time would tell as she thought about their possible future.

Chapter 12 ~ Longing

7x11. Kelly feeling heartbroken after his breakup with Stella.

Those words absolutely shattered Kelly. He had lost the love of his life. When Benny unexpectedly passed away. Kelly found himself struggling with many emotions. Grief, anger, guilt and regret. Finding himself digging into a dark hole. Deeper each day that passed. Putting up Fort Knox walls. Avoidance at all costs. Distracting himself into projects but while doing that, pushing everyone away, including his girlfriend Stella. Stella did everything she could to be there for him. Never wanting to stop fighting for their relationship. As days went by, things only got worse. Kelly pushed himself and others deeper down. Stella started to feel their relationship was turning toxic. It was bringing her back to her past relationship. In very different ways of course. There was no abuse. But it was crumbling and she couldn’t just stand by and watch the chips fall. Not with Kelly. She loved him too much to watch it implode.

After the call Stella assisted Kelly under the bus. They had a job to do, they were both professionals. No matter what was happening in their personal lives. Stella did not even hesitate to assist Kelly. He thanked her. “Anytime” Her short response spoke volumes. As he watched her walk away, it broke him knowing how he had pushed her to the brink. He had lost her. A woman that he would never stop loving. He knew he was grieving in many ways. Having a whole new wave of regret which didn’t have anything to do with any grief. He had lost the best thing that ever happened to him. He had taken her for granted. Looking back now, remembering all the times she tried to be there for him, consoling m, supporting and all she needed was something, anything in return from where he was unable to give anything back to her. All she received was walls and more walls.

“This is harder than I thought it would be”

Those were his last words to her as he watched her walk away while in the bunk room. Kelly spent the day orbiting Stella. Watching her train Tuesday. Seeing her light up while offering the pup treats in return for tricks. His sunshine. His light. Who now wasn’t even his anymore. Casey had been seeing Kelly mesmerized by Stella everywhere she was throughout the firehouse. Casey holding up the bat signal. Dragging his best friend out on the roof for a cigar chat. Casey saw just how regretful he was feeling. No doubt he was still head over heels in love with Stella and probably always would be.

As they sat down on the roof looking over Chicago. It was a breathtaking view. Kelly lost in his thoughts.

“So Severide. How are you doing? How are you REALLY doing?”

“Fine” grumbled Kelly

“You are so far from fine”

“What do you want me to say Case? That in the midst of the storm rolling around in my head that I lost the love of my life. The one person who made me a different man doesn’t love me anymore. That I feel like a shell of a man I once was”

“Whoa. Severide. Stop right there. Stella definitely still loves you. I have absolutely no doubt about that. She didn’t break up with you because she doesn’t love you. You know that Sev. This is not the end of you and Stella. Just a little break. You and Stella Kidd are meant to be for eternity. You will have your girl back. That is one thing I am sure of”

“I don’t know Case. I pushed her away. Pushed her to the brink. Why do I always do this? Ruin anything good in my life and she is the BEST thing in my life”

“Take some time. Get your head on straight. Heal from what you’re feeling and what you have been going through. I promise Stella will still be there. She loves you so much Sev. Just keep the faith”

“Yeah. You’re right. I’m not going to give up. She is my forever and she deserves more than the man I am right now. I know I can be that man for her. She’s worth it. We are worth it”

As they finished their cigars. Kelly felt a feeling of hope. Eventually he would have Stella back in his arms. Maybe this break was what they both needed to find their way back to each other.

Chapter 13 ~ Monogamy

8x10. Kelly finally acknowledging Seager’s flirting. Putting himself in Stella’s shoes if the roles were reversed.

Kelly hadn’t been oblivious to Seagers advances as they worked on more OFI cases. He was fully aware of her flirting. It’s not that he enjoyed the attention from another woman. He just didn’t see a need to open a can of worms for nothing. Seager could flirt with him all day long. It wouldn’t change anything. The fact is that he is madly in love with one woman and one woman only. Stella is his forever. She had long changed his bachelor ways. He was a committed, one woman man. He doesn’t even notice other women. Any advances towards him are just ignored. The only woman he sees is the woman he wakes up to everyday. Stella Kidd.

There was a time back in his bachelor days where monogamy seemed foreign to him. Casual dating was Kelly’s MO. He even told Stella at one time that he doesn’t do monogamy. Now, that is when they were casually intimate with each other. Kelly really liked her even back then but of course he was determined to keep any romantic inklings at bay. Scared of opening himself up to someone who he knew had the potential of breaking him (in the best possible way)

They were now in a serious relationship. Been through a lot of ups and down to get to this point. Already gone through a breakup but were as solid as ever now. Kelly’s talents with OFI investigating had been greatly noticed. He loved working on cases. A side passion he has always had following in Benny’s footsteps in that regard. Still, he loved being squad lieutenant but he also loved going on OFI cases from time to time as he had a natural talent solving arson cases.

After working on a few cases with Wendy Seager at this point. They made a good team professionally. There had been a few times that Seagers subtle advances has been quite obvious. Kelly didn’t see a reason to say anything as it did not mean anything to him, he figured ignoring it was a safe bet. He did have to work alongside her while on cases. Also, it just didn’t matter. There was literally only one who captured his attention. He loves Stella. He was only attracted to Stella. Other women were just there in his mind.

The last case they had worked on. Seager had become much more obvious. Might even say was on the verge of crossing lines. Just verbal remarks. Subtle touching his arms on occasion. As much as he didn’t care. He also thought about how he would feel if some man Stella was working side by side with was getting a little too close, it would bother Kelly to no end. Of course, he trusted Stella just as she trusts him. Still, would be a sore spot and felt it shows a lack of respect for their relationship. After Seager asked him to go out for dinner to a nice restaurant to “talk about a case” he knew it was time to put a stop to this.

“Seager. Look. I enjoy working with you. We make a good team, professionally speaking. I need to be crystal clear. I have a girlfriend. A girlfriend that I love more than anything. I have refrained from mentioning anything before but I feel you aren’t backing down. I don’t want any lines to be blurred here. We have a platonic, working relationship. I would ask you to keep it that way if you want us to continue working together on cases. I will not disrespect my relationship with Stella”

Seager felt embarrassed but she understood and promised to back off, keeping it completely professional.

Later at home. Kelly and Stella are enjoying some quality time together.

“So, I told Seager today she needed to back off with her flirting with me”

“Well, Finally. What happened to not even noticing that she is in fact flirting with you?”

“Stella. Of course I noticed. It just meant nothing to me and I didn’t see a need to bring it up with her when there is only one woman I am attracted to and want to flirt with me. With that being said, I also love you so very much. More than anything. I want to show the respect I have for our relationship. If the roles were reversed it would bother me. So, it was time I made clear to her where my heart will always lie”

“Thank you babe. I really appreciate you respecting us that way “

“I always will”

Chapter 14 ~ Nuture

10x14. Kelly offering love and support to Stella before moving to another station to take a lieutenant position.

Stella was feeling so grateful becoming lieutenant. In a perfect world she would have loved to stay at 51 but with Pelham settling into 51. Stella had fought for him to stay when he was unfairly targeted. He deserved to stay at 51. There was a lieutenant position that had opened up at another nearby station. After returning from her GOF trip. Things were very rocky for a while starting with her relationship with Kelly. She had ghosted him before returning. It took many conversations and time for them to get back to a good place. Eventually, they got back to being them again. The main reason why Stella had acted off while on her trip was her anxiety about being a lieutenant at 51. Taking over for Casey. Pressure overwhelmed her to fill such big shoes. After, fighting for Pelham and her the sole reason he still had a position because he deserved to stay. Boden had put a good word in for her and now she had an opportunity to become a leader with a new team, at a new station. She had her confidence back and knew she would be a great leader where ever that would be. What was plaguing her now is leaving 51. Leaving her family. Not seeing Kelly everyday. Her fiancée being a presence at 51 with her was a constant. After a bad call. When she needed someone to talk to. It was hard knowing she wouldn’t have her family beside her anymore. Stella enjoyed her last shift at 51. Soaking in everything. They would all still be in her life outside of work. Still her family. As she said her goodbyes, Kelly and her headed home to spend some quality time together as they now worked different shifts and their time together would be limited for now. They had a strong foundation. Knowing they would figure it out. They always would.

Stella was very restless as Kelly had settled in to watch some TV. Stella continuously walking back and forth from bedroom to living room. Not able to sit still. Kelly started to chuckle. Secretly thinking how adorable she is. Sure, she was nervous but it made Kelly’s heart skip a beat at the thought on how much Stella cares. She was nervous because she wanted to be a good leader. Being a woman lieutenant would bring on challenges among men. Leading a team was so important to her and this opportunity meant so much to her. Kelly knew he had it a little easier. He was bred into this career. Hasn’t had to move stations and has had the benefit of having his family everyday. Some have left and come but the core group has remained the same. Kelly has natural avenger capabilities. Also, as it still is such a shame being a woman leader in the CFD is still challenging for any woman, but if anyone could change that way of thinking it was Stella Kidd.

“Stella. Babe. Please just sit down with me”

“OK”

Stella snuggled into her fiancées chest.

Kelly softly whispering.

“Stel. You are gonna be so great. I’m so proud of you”

“I’m just scared. Somewhere new. A new team. Not having you and my family there with me day after day”

“That’s true. But you have the confidence and are already such a good leader. There might be hiccups at first. It may take some time to get in a groove with your team. You will make it your own. You will grow your team and it will be amazing. You know what makes me sad? The fact that I won’t have a front row seat everyday to see you excel as one of the best leaders I have ever seen. Just remember one thing. I am just a phone call away. Anytime you need to hear how great you are. I will be happy to reassure you”

“You are such a softie, Kelly Severide. Thank you for always being my soft pillow to land on. How did I get so lucky?”

“For one. I’m the lucky one. For two. I will always be a soft landing for you. I love you, Stella Kidd. Oh I’m sorry, lieutenant Kidd”

“Don’t you forget it lieutenant Severide”

Chapter 15 ~ Open Arms

11x01. Stella comforting Kelly while he is dealing with the aftermath of what happened on their wedding night.

To say Kelly was seeing red in the aftermath of their wedding night was an understatement. Pryma trying to reassure him that he is safe now. “I’m not worried about me. My wife was almost killed” That is what was consuming Kelly. His decision to pursue this could have gotten Stella killed. That thought alone made Kelly wanna scream. Knowing there was a dirty cop that divulged information on where the newlyweds were. Their wedding night had turned into a living nightmare. As he stood outside the loft returning home to his wife. He had to be thankful his wife was alive. She was here with him. Although, the guilt was still consuming him.

“Are you OK?”

“I could of got you killed”

“Don’t do that”

After Stella had reassured her husband this was not his fault. He drapped himself into her lap. Stella knowing her husband needed comfort. Kelly clinging onto her tightly almost as if he would never be able to hold her ever again. Stella running her fingers through his hair, lightly massaging.

“Kelly. You need to really understand. This is not your fault. You were trying to keep people safe, like you always do. There is absolutely no way to know these assholes would be tipped off to where we were”

“I know Stel. I know. I just can’t let go of the fact that because of me pursuing this that your life was in such peril danger. It breaks me knowing how close I was to losing you”

“Kelly. You didn’t lose me. I’m right here. I’m here because you saved me. Stop, putting this guilt on yourself. It kills me seeing you suffer like this. We just need to try to move on from this. We are married now. I have never been so happy in my life. We aren’t going to let Campbell take away our moment. We need to celebrate us being husband and wife”

“Im not used to being the one needing comfort in our relationship. That’s usually my job. A job I take very seriously I might add.”

“Well. We are a team. It’s about time I returned the favour. You always take such good care of me. Every once in a while you need to let me take care of you too. Are we clear?”

“Copy”

Chapter 16 ~ Perfect

10x11. A continuation of the “I wanna be perfect one for you” conversation.

Stella returning from her GOF trip had been tense, even awkward. Kelly was still angry and hurt by Stella ghosting him before she returned home. They had talked about everything. Stella assuring him she in fact still wanted to marry him. Shutting down a worry of Kelly’s that she had been with someone else. Stella explained why she had ghosted him. Experiencing a moment of panic about becoming lieutenant at 51. Stella explaining she thought Kelly would have been disappointed in her. Kelly shocked. How could he ever be disappointed in her? Still, even with her explanations and he accepted her reasoning. He couldn’t help but still feel angry. Feeling that Stella had abandoned him. As much as he wanted to just move on. He couldn’t. So, he put up a wall. Sure, they had sex, he kissed her when she initiated intimacy but Stella could sense he was just appeasing her. He really wasn’t engaged with her like he always has been. Stella knew she had royally screwed thinks up. Now, she was terrified she had screwed things up so badly that there would be no coming back from it. Her dream of building a life with the only man she would love was in serious jeopardy. She didn’t know how to fix this. Kelly was getting more angry and annoyed the more she apologized.

“No one is perfect, not even Stella Kidd”

“Yeah. I just want to be the perfect one for you”

“You are the perfect one for me”

In that moment. As he wrapped his arms tightly around her, she had felt for the first time in days they were slowly getting back to where they were.

Later as they settled into bed for the night. Stella was still restless. After a passionate session of love making. Stella, still feeling anxious. Kelly had fallen asleep. Stella kept tossing and turning. Finally settling on her back. Eyes wide open. She was thinking maybe she should just go to the couch so she didn’t disrupt her fiancée. Kelly waking up and seeing the anguish on Stella’s face. Knowing her mind was circling. Kelly felt he had a valid reason to be angry with her these past days but now he felt broken seeing how she was struggling with guilt and regret. Noticing she had been quietly crying. That broke his heart. No matter what. He never wanted to be the reason she ever cried. As angry as he was with her. She was punishing herself for days now. So vulnerable with her own regret. He had reassured her she was completely forgiven and he wanted them to move forward. He meant what he had said. She was the perfect one for him. Always had been, always would be.

“Stella. Baby. Talk to me. I can see you are struggling”

“I’m sorry I woke you up”

“NO. Don’t be sorry. Just talk to me”

“I’m so grateful you forgave me. I just don’t feel I deserve to be forgiven. I made you doubt me. Made you doubt us. I never ever wanted to hurt you in that way”

“Stella. Sweetheart. Stop it right now. Shall we go back to all the times I made you feel this way. You put up with me, my walls, lack of communication. All of it”

“Yeah. And I broke up with you because of it”

“Stella. Listen. Things are different now. We were dating for a short time when that happened. We were just starting to build our foundation at that point. Now, we are engaged. We have gone through so much together and we are so much stronger together. And remember after our breakup, it didn’t take long for us to find our way back to one another. Even through this. I never once thought about us breaking up. I was angry and frustrated. I questioned things, YES. But I never once doubted the love we have for each other. Please, baby. Stop punishing yourself. Everything is forgiven. I love you, Stella Kidd more than anything. I want us to move forward. Look ahead to becoming husband and wife.”

“OK. I promise to stop looking back and just start thinking ahead. Thank you, Kelly. Please never doubt how much I love you. I can’t wait to marry you”

“Me too. Stella. Me too. You’re are the greatest person I have and will ever have in my life. And just so you know. You are going to be an amazing leader. I will remind you of that everyday. No matter what you do with your career. I will NEVER be disappointed in you. Just always talk to me, OK?”

“Deal. I promise. I will never let you down like that again”

“I know babe”

Stella fell into a deep sleep. All the anxiety slipping away. Curled up into her fiancées arms.m

Chapter 17 ~ Queen

9x13. Kelly’s pride for Stella after helping Alia.

Kelly was always proud of Stella in what she does on a daily basis. On call after call. Nothing prepared him for this day. On one shift she had absolutely shown everyone what an absolute bad ass she really is. Kelly had tried to get her to go home as she was set to take her lieutenants exam the next day. She was nervous. He wanted her to take some time for herself. Try and relax. She was having none of that. Knowing she would go stir crazy sitting at home. She wanted to be productive. As they got a call. It was gruesome. A man was hanging from a tree with a branch piercing right through his torso. They needed to relieve the pressure to bring him down. The longer he was left hanging, the more the tree branch would puncture in deeper which would cause more damage to his internal organs. Severide was ready to cut the tree but the problem was cutting the slack. Stella, being Stella. No hesitation spider man climbed the tree. Got up behind the victim who was now hanging on. She used all her strength and lifted him upwards to release the slack while Kelly cut the tree down and hooked the ropes where they were able to slowly bring him down to the stretcher waiting. Kelly, was proud. Telling his girlfriend if it wasn’t for her he would of had no chance of survival. She had given him a small chance.

When they returned to 51. Stella had received a panicked call from a girl. This had been the second time a weird call came for her. Before the call, this girl had called but had hung up before Stella could get some information. As she told Mouch who was working the desk to transfer any calls to Kelly’s office where she would be studying for her exam. Not long after she received another call. This girl, was terrified. Had disclosed she was once in the GOF program which answered the question of how she knew Stella. Throughout the day, Stella wanted to help this girl knowing she was in serious trouble with bad people. She had enlisted Kylie’s help to find out information about this girl. Kylie able to find previous sign up sheets and remembering her voice. They had a name. Meanwhile, Kelly and Boden went out searching for her. Stella had kept Alia on the phone reassuring her. As Stella kept her on the phone, had Kelly on her cell. Had a brilliant idea for Boden to turn on the sirens and would know if they were close as she was able to hear the sirens through the phone. Boden and Kelly were able to save Alia and her brother from gang members. On the way back to the firehouse after taking Alia and her brother to the hospital. Kelly couldn’t believe what had taken place. They were safe not thanks to him but Stella. Her quick thinking and smarts saved them. He always knew how amazing she is but this just reinforced the many reasons he loved her.

The next day as Stella was preparing to leave for her exam. Kylie knocking on the loft door with Alia. Who tearfully thanked Stella for saving her life. Never giving up on her. Of course, humble Stella reassuring her she had saved herself. Alia had asked to come back to GOF. Stella feeling such pride for the girls and program she was so passionate about.

As she was leaving, Kelly giving her last words of encouragement.

“That is why you are going to be a great lieutenant”

“You got this, Stella Kidd”

After a long, lingering kiss.

“I really need to get going. Just wanted to thank you for always helping and supporting me. You played such a big part in helping Alia. I’m so grateful for you always having my back, never questioning me”

“Well, your welcome. But this was all you. Stella, I am so proud of you everyday. Yesterday just cemented what an absolute bad ass Queen you truly are. I am so proud of you, babe. I also know you are going to crush this exam and become a remarkable leader. Because you already are and have been for a long time now. I get a front row seat to seeing your greatness”

“You are such a wonderful man, Kelly Severide”

“You had a big hand in making me that man, Stella Kidd. Now, go crush that exam. I love you”

“I love you, Kelly Severide”

Chapter 18 ~ Reunited

11x10. Kelly being reunited with his wife as she woke up in her hospital bed.

Stella had to have shrapnel removed from her abdomen after the fall out from the grenade call. She had not yet woken up from anesthesia. Kelly had updated everyone at 51 in the waiting room and they all retrieved back to 51. Kelly sat at her bedside. Hand placed on top of her blanket covering her legs. As he sat, staring at his wife. Even in a hospital gown, oxygen prongs in her nose, hooked up to vital sign machine. She has never looked more beautiful to him. God, he had almost lost her again. They had only been married months and her life had been put in danger not once but twice now. All stemming from this damn Campbell situation. He was so angry with Pryma, continuously dragging him into these dangerous situations where it had essentially been Stella who was a main casualty of it. He was supposed to protect her. He is her husband. He kept failing her. Again, she never ceased to amaze him. Trying to save Pryma and what she had done in that house to keep her team safe. She was just amazing. The love her has for this woman, his wife was priceless. He continued to watch her peacefully sleep until he himself fell asleep. This day had been exhausting. Filled with anxiety and fear. Kelly knowing his wife was going to be ok was able to close his eyes and wait for her to open those beautiful brown eyes.

Later, Stella woke up. Spotting the water on her bed table. Realizing how thirsty she was. As she reached for the glass. Letting out a grunt as it was extremely painful to move. The shrapnel removed was quite deep in her abdomen. Kelly immediately hearing her and woke up from his slumber. Seeing the pain she was feeling.

“Hi. Baby”

“Ugh. This really hurts”

“Lay back down. Let me get your water”

Kelly handing his wife the glass of water. As she took a big sip he couldn’t stop staring at the beauty in from of him.

“Kelly. Babe. Your staring. I’m ok”

“Stella. I’m not gonna ever stop staring at you. I could have lost you. Again.”

“I know baby. I’m sorry you went through this. But I’m really ok. Gonna take some time to recover but I’m gonna be just fine. Gonna take a lot more than a little grenade to get rid of me, Kelly Severide”

“I can’t explain how good it is to hear your voice, seeing those gorgeous eyes looking back at me. My amazing wife. But can you please just stop trying to give me a heart attack?”

“I believe I have said those exact same words to you”

“Yeah you have”

“ Have you been here all night?”

“I’m not going anywhere”

“Kelly. Babe. You are so tired. I’m ok. Why don’t you go home. Take a shower. Have something to eat, get some rest”

“Stella. Sweetheart. I appreciate the concern for me but I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE until I walk out of this hospital with you”

“Yeah. That’s what I thought”

“Get some rest, my love. I will be right here”

Chapter 19 ~ Sensational

10x12. Kelly reacting to Stella’s leadership on her first call as lieutenant. FINALLY Stella getting a ring.

Stella was feeling very nervous on the morning before shift. All the tension between Kelly and Stella had evaporated. They were back to them again. All had been forgiven. They were full steam ahead looking towards their future. That morning Stella had been rambling, which Kelly thought was adorable but he also knew she only got that way when she was nervous.

“Stella. Relax. Babe. Your gonna be great. Don’t get in your head. You got this, Stella Kidd”

As they got the first call which all rigs had been called to. It was Stella’s stage now. Her team encouraging her. She was in charge and they would be right behind her. Needing squads assistance with rescuing a man who was stuck in an escalator panel. No hesitation once they arrived at the call. Her ordering squad, including Kelly on what she needed from them. Kelly was overjoyed to take orders from his fiancée. The man had been successfully rescued. Receiving medical attention. After Stella ordered truck to pack up. Walking away from Kelly. He looked up and saw Boden who both had an elating smile on their faces, so proud of their girl. Kelly knew there was no reason for her to be nervous as once she was on a call, it would be just second nature for her.

Later, all the officers were trying to figure out a way to help Pelham who was being unfairly targeted as a means of revenge from a past mistake. Sarah, a firefighter had been pressured by an officer in much higher ranking to falsify a report to essentially end Pelhams career. This girl had been involved with helping Stella with her GOF program. With the assistance of commissioner Hill. Stella was able to talk with Sarah and allow her to see what women can accomplish in the CFD. Going through with something as serious as falsely accusing someone, trying to unjustly ruining a career would only hinder her future as a firefighter. Eventually, Sarah came around and rescinded her statement.

Everything came a head at the CFD gala. As Kelly walked Stella out to the balcony in the freezing cold Chicago night. As he told her how strong and brave she is. “I am the luckiest man in Chicago” and there it was to Stella’s shock. Kelly pulled out a ring to put on her finger. Stella crying at this point. After everything they had been through. She had a beautiful ring on her finger symbolizing their love for one another and their future. On the road to getting married.

Later, at home. As they had a passionate round of love making. Stella admiring her new piece of jewelry on her left finger.

“I gotta say. I’m so impressed with this ring. It’s so beautiful. Did you pick this out by yourself”

“I sure did”

“Nice work, Kelly Severide”

“Well it took me long enough to put a ring on your finger considering we have been engaged for months now. You deserve to have something beautiful, you know to match the person you are. The love of my life. I cannot wait to marry you, baby”

“Marrying you, my beautiful man is going to be the best day of my life and I can’t wait for that day”

Falling asleep in pure bliss. Kelly and Stella knowing they had forever to look forward to.

Chapter 20 ~ Torch

8x01. After getting back together. Kelly and Stella expressing to one another how they never stopped loving each other being apart.

Kelly had planned a special date for Stella. They had gotten back together. After a perfect reunion at the cabin. It had been literally perfect. Still, Kelly wanted to plan a special date night for her. Showing her just how much he loved her and how eternally grateful he was to have her back in his arms again. She was his girlfriend again. And he wasn’t letting her get away ever again.

Stella was so happy to be back together with her love. She was broken and lonely without Kelly. Yes, she had ended things but she know saw that it was a good thing. The little break was everything they both needed to realize the love they had for one another. Both fighting for their relationship. She never for even one second stopped loving him. She knew he was her forever. So, getting back to this point was purely joyful.

Their date was amazing. Kelly took her to a beautiful restaurant along the pier. Which Donna had recommended. As they walked along the pier. The beautiful night sky shining down on the water. It was heavenly. Both basking in one another like love struck teenagers. Hand in hand they continued their evening stroll. As they stopped, looking into one another’s eyes.

“Donna recommended it. Said to take someone there for a special occasion”

“What special occasion”

“You”

This man always had the right words to captivate Stella’s heart.

“Kelly Severide. You always know the right thing to say to make me feel so special. You are such a charmer”

“Only for you”

“Stella. I am so grateful we are here right now in this moment. The torch I have for you will NEVER stop burning. I have and will never love someone the way I love you”

“Kelly, you are my shining light that will never dim. I love you more than anything. Thank you for fighting for us. Even through the hard days with us you never gave up. Always seeing the worth of us”

“Stel. We are forever and nothing including me is going to come between us ever again. I promise you”

“Right back at ya baby”

As they continued walking hand in hand. Knowing they were right back where they wanted to be. Many more special date nights to come in their future.

Chapter 21 ~ Unconditional

8x07. Kelly confessing to Stella it doesn’t matter where his career takes him, as long he has her.

Kelly Severide underneath it all has a heart of gold. And for just not Stella but his 51 family. He made a sacrifice to go to OFI temporarily to help with back log in return to save Herman’s career as a lieutenant. It is just the kind of man Kelly is. He did love to work on OFI cases. He just didn’t want to do it day in and day out. He took a lot of pride in leading his team as 51s squad lieutenant. However, once he knew how a cop was unfairly targeting Herman. The choice was simple as he gave Grissom a ultimatum. He would only go to OFI in return for Herman’s safety. He would make this choice for any of his family at 51. He was also firm. He would help them clear their backlog and then would be free to return to 51.

Kelly realizing he would miss everyone at 51. No one more than Stella. Best part of his day was sneaking loving glances, or little kisses around the firehouse. Even more, on a few occasions. That is what he was going to miss most. They were now in a fully, committed serious relationship. He knew she was it for him. The last woman he would ever kiss, ever love. What made this choice easy to temporarily leave 51 was at the end of each day he would go home to Stella. They didn’t even officially live together but they spent every night together. Their living situations was just a formality now. He might not get to see her at the firehouse everyday for now but he would be able to fall asleep and wake up next to her.

Later that night. Stella had come over for the night because of course she had. They were standing together by the big loft window overlooking the beautiful Chicago night sky. Stella was overwhelmed with pride at how her boyfriend had the most amazing heart for everyone. The sacrifice he was making for Herman didn’t surprise her at the fact he was putting someone else ahead of himself. It was just the man he is. The man she loves.

“Your a good man, Kelly Severide. Are you really ok with going to OFI?”

“As long as I get to come to you, I will be ok”

“I’m without a doubt, the luckiest girl in the world”

A long, passionate lingering kiss insued. Many passionate kisses.

“Kelly I’m so proud of the man you are. Sacrificing such a change and helping Herman in the process”

“He’s a great lieutenant. He has always been such a good leader. He doesn’t deserve to lose it all cause of an asshole of a cop”

“That’s true. But don’t sell yourself short babe. What you have done is a sentiment to the man you are. The man I fell in love with and for the record will always be in love with”

“Thank you, baby. I meant what I said. The reason this is even remotely doable for me is the sole fact that at the end of the day I come home to YOU. On the shifts you are working nights don’t be surprised if I make a appearance at the firehouse to steal some kisses”

“Oh I can’t wait for that. On the nights I am not working you will always have me to come home to”

Kelly knew he was going to be asking Stella to move in with him. Just waiting for the perfect moment. For now he was content having these moments, together.m

Chapter 22 ~ Vows

10x22 prelude. A little AU of both Kelly and Stella talking with their best friends Casey and Brett about what they want their vows to represent.

The much anticipated wedding was right around the corner. Only a couple days away. All the last minute preparations had been taken care of. All the 51 family had pitched in to make this a wedding to remember. Everyone had been waiting for this day to finally come for Kelly and Stella. They all had a front row seat to their love story which began 6 years before. There were ups and downs for the couple but at the end of the day no one doubted these two would end up here. The love they had for eachother was eternal. They were one another’s soul mates. Always meant be together. Marriage was such a big deal for both of them and their pasts had caused some nerves. With all of that they had made it to this moment and there was no nerves, no hesitation. Both Kelly and Stella couldn’t wait to become husband and wife.

They were spending the last couple nights apart. Stella staying with Brett. Kelly at their home with Casey. Casey and Brett were not only a good couple together but both giving the couple advice on what is really important.

“So, Stella everything is good to go. How are your vows coming?”

“Ugh. I’m so frustrated. There are so many things I wanna say. When I write them on paper they sound muffled. It’s giving me such anxiety. Why is this so hard? I know what I feel for Kelly. What I have always felt. It just seems dumb when I see it on paper”

“Stel. You are overthinking this. You and Kelly’s love story is one for the ages. Everything you have been through and overcame to get to this point. You don’t need to write the words you wanna say on paper. When you walk up to Kelly, the words will come to you just speak from your heart. I promise you, anything you say will bring that man to tears”

“Thank you, Brett. You’re right. I’m putting way too much pressure on this. I know the words will come to me when I see him. Just like they always have”

Meanwhile at the loft…

“Sev. Want a beer?”

Casey had been watching Kelly grunt off and on while staring at paper in front of him.

“Sure”

“Severide. You look stressed? How is the vow writing going?”

“How does it look?”

“You know I’m not a man of many words. I just never thought I would have this much trouble. I know everything I feel for Stella. She’s my whole damn world. Why the hell can’t I put it on paper? This is ridiculous”

“Severide. Relax. Look, it doesn’t matter what goes on that paper. You could write a book. As soon as you see Stella walking towards you in a beautiful wedding dress, none of that is going to matter. Only thing that is going to matter is her. I assure you the words you wanna say will come to you and we will probably have to cut you off. Ring a bell or something”

“Nice Case. You are right though as soon as I see her I probably won’t have a leg to stand on, literally”

“Severide. Look back at the past 6 years. My gosh it’s crazy to think back. You the ultimate bachelor. Mr. casual dater. It was a revolving door. The day Stella walked through the door. It was like the world did a 360. As much as we all had reservations about two firefighters in the same station dating, we all also knew there was no stopping it. You and Stella were and still are a force. Meant to be. She changed everything for you, Sev”

“She sure did. Literally flipped my world upside down”

“Right. Those words will be easy once she is standing in front of you. Just go back to all the memories you have shared”

“Thank you, Case”

Tomorrow will be life changing for Kelly and Stella. They will finally be taking the next step into marriage.

Chapter 23 ~ Worry

8x09. Kelly feeling concerned for Stella’s well being after her car accident.

Kelly had been worried for Stella for days now. She had been burning the candle at both ends. Shifts at 51, working at Molly’s and teaching a class at the academy. Boden had recommended her to teach a class and Stella couldn’t imagine letting him down. It was becoming evident there wasn’t enough hours in the day. Stella wasn’t sleeping and starting to run on fumes. She had become unfocused on shift which caused Casey to having to come down hard on her.

Everyone was noticing the change in Stella. Her exhaustion was starting to seep through. Kelly was at OFI full time. However, when he would see her for few minutes he was fully aware that she was taking on to much. He wanted her to slow down. Stella being the perfectionist she is. So he let it go. Not before he had a conversation with Casey asking him to watch over Stella. He hated not being able to be at the firehouse everyday, if he couldn’t be there at least he would have someone to watch over her.

As Stella, Brett and Foster walked out of 51 after shift. Noticing just how exhausted Stella was. Stella trying to convince her friends she was fine. Not buying it. Brett sternly telling Stella she was calling in to the academy on Stella’s behalf and ordering her to go home and sleep. Stella finally agreed and realizing just how tired she was. As she got into her jeep to go home to rest. All of a sudden, it happened so quickly. Stella ran a stop sign which caused another vehicle to T-bone her jeep. Everyone at 51 had been walking to their vehicles after shift, all running to Stella’s aide after hearing the crash. Stella was conscious and alert with a gash on her forehead. The other vehicle had a young girl that had been injured, nothing serious.

As Stella sat in the waiting room at the hospital already having her face dressed in a small bandage. She was waiting to hear an update on the young girl. Stella feeling so guilty for getting in her car in the condition she was in. 51 family was all there to support Stella. As everyone was impatiently but quietly waiting. The hospital doors opened and Kelly running through the doors. Casey had called Kelly to tell him about the accident. Reassuring him Stella was ok, but he knew full well that wouldn’t matter. Kelly would need to see for himself.

“Hey. Are you ok?

“Yeah”

Brett and Foster came out and gave an update. The girl was fine. Only minor bumps and scrapes. Stella was so relieved. Still, feeling so guilty.

“Can I please take her home now?” muttered Kelly.

“Yes. Take her home. Please Stella, get some rest” replied Casey

Later at the loft…

Stella was resting in bed after having a hot, relaxing shower. Kelly sat down beside her while she sprawled into bed.

“Stella. Baby. Please get some rest. I have been so worried about you”

“I know Kelly. I have been pushing myself to hard. I realize after today that I need to slow down”

“Good. Thank you. When I got that call from Casey. It was one of the worst phone calls I have ever gotten and I never want to get a call like that again. Stella, baby. You are so amazing at everything you do but everyone has a limit. I love you so much”

“I love you too, Kelly. Thank you for taking care of me”

“I always will”

Kelly knew in that moment as he watched Stella fall into a deep slumber that he would always worry about her. That is what happens when you love someone the way he loves her. He would also always have her best interests at heart to keep her safe.

Chapter 24 ~ XoXo

9x15. Kelly and Stella pampering one another with hugs and kisses after Kelly’s impromptu proposal in the middle of a fire.

Kelly didn’t exactly know how he would propose to Stella. He knew when the timing seemed right he would just go for it. He knew he needed to get a ring and he would very soon. He hadn’t anticipated it the moment would come in the middle of a call, a blazing warehouse fire. When Stella joined Kelly to help him as he was alone trying to fend off the inferno. As they started breaking windows. Questioning Stella for not going with her team.

“Im never gonna leave you, don’t you get that by now”

There it was. The moment he had waited for. This was it. Kelly not giving a shit they were in the middle of a fire. This was their moment. Ripping off his helmet and mask. Getting down on one knee. Stella looking down at him, also ripping her helmet and mask off. It happened. The great Kelly Severide down on one knee asking Stella Kidd to be his wife. Stella said yes. No reservations.

After shift, two lovebirds left drapped all over each other. Still, no one knowing Kelly recklessly proposed in the middle of a fire. They would tell everyone at 51 in due time and maybe leave out some of the finer details. Tonight, was just about them. Spend quality time together in newly engaged bliss.

After many passionate sessions of love making. Both exploring each other bodies from head to toe.

“Kelly. Today was perfect. I don’t want it to ever end”

“It will only get better”

“You know we have a whole 4 days off. I don’t even have a shift at Molly’s for a couple days. What ever will we do with all this free time?”

“Oh I can think of a couple things”

“Oh Kelly Severide, you are such a charmer”

“Stella Kidd, you haven’t seen nothing yet. I plan on spending the next couple of days ravishing you, all well peppering you with many hugs and kisses. Never leaving this bed”

“That sounds perfect”

As they looked forward to their future. Marriage and eventually kids. There was going to be plenty of hugs and kisses.

Chapter 25 ~ You

7x02. Kelly realizing Stella is his one and only. As she fought for her life, Kelly fighting for the life she deserved. Expressing himself to her at her hospital beside.

The tower fire had been an inferno straight out of the movies. Multiple stations from all over the city fighting the blaze.

Stella’s alarm started blaring which meant she was dangerously running out of oxygen. Her head knew she should get out of the building but her heart wanted to help Kelly. Her boyfriend. The love of her life. All rational thought had gone out the window. Unfortunately, Stella was unable to make it to Kelly. She had run out of oxygen and collapsed. As Kelly had just rescued a child in Kelly Severide avenger style. By scaling the outside of the building, many floors up with a little boy in his arms. Kicking in a nearby window away from the flames. The little boy was safe. Feeling elated and proud. That feeling of pride was quickly extinguished when he heard the most awful words through the radio “MAYDAY! MAYDAY! KIDD IS DOWN” Kelly rushed to where he knew she was last. Helping Herman pull her lifeless body through the fire, carrying her outside to the waiting stretcher with Brett and Foster desperately giving her medical attention. They had a pulse but she wasn’t breathing which required her being intubated. Later, at the hospital Kelly was fighting everyone. He was terrified. Riddled with fear of losing her. Fighting the doctors to not removing her lung which would essentially destroy her whole career. Eventually getting escorted by security out of Chicago Med. Thankfully, April his long time friend. A nurse at Med had advocated for Kelly and essentially Stella. They came up with a plan to save her lung and her life. It was risky but worth it in the end.

Kelly was anxiously sitting in the waiting room right outside of Stella’s room where she was still sedated under anesthesia. All Kelly could do was reflect. Thinking about how long he had loved Stella. Not willing to admit how he felt for a long time. Feeling he had wasted so much time. But also, if they had jumped right into a quick relationship it may of burned out as soon as it began. Instead, they had built an amazing friendship. A friendship that they both cherished. They were able to move from friendship to a romantic relationship. Kelly feeling they did everything the right way.

��Kelly. She’s awake. Wants to see you”

As Kelly was taken out of his thoughts with April’s voice. He excitedly stood up, still in his bunker gear, walking up to Stella. All he could do was stare and smile at her. After just having major surgery and barely awake from sedation. Kelly thinking she never looked so beautiful.

“Stop”

“I’m so glad your back”

“Of course”

Kelly broke down and collapsed into her. All his emotions pouring out in one moment.

“Kelly, it’s ok. I’m ok. Thanks to you. I heard about you fighting to not only save me but also my career. I don’t know how I will ever thank you”

“Stella. You don’t have to thank me. I would do it all over again, for you”

“Are you ok? I can see you mind spinning right now”

“Stella. When your alarm went off, why didn’t you get to safety? You know how reckless that was”

“I was trying to get to you. I wanted to help you”

“I heard. I could of lost you. I was so close to losing you. I have suffered many losses throughout my life. Stella, I honestly wouldn’t survive losing you. Please don’t do that ever again”

“Copy. Lieutenant”

“YOU. Are everything to me. I love YOU so much. I am crazy in love with YOU”

“And I love YOU, Kelly Severide. So much”

As Stella drifted off to sleep. Kelly sitting right at her bedside and wasn’t going to leave anytime soon. Thankful to have her alive, still with him. A lot to be thankful for.

Chapter 26 ~ Zealous

10x15. Kelly reassuring Stella exactly where he wanted to be.

Kelly would go and work on OFI cases often. Usually with Seager. It never bothered Stella much. However, lately she was really noticing how well they worked together. She had witnessed Seager giving Kelly googly eyes for some time now. It just seemed lately Seager was calling for him to come assist her at whatever hour. Seager had been hurt which truck had been called to. Kelly and Cruz were there assisting. Stella had seen the closeness and for the first time she was feeling jealous. She completely trusted Kelly but it didn’t curb her insecurities. She could see Seager’s attraction to Kelly, hell she wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore. So brazen. It was making Stella crazy. Stella found herself venting to Kylie. Rambling, not able to stop herself. Stella would ramble when she was nervous or something was eating away at her.

Stella never wanted to be that girlfriend. She was never a jealous person. She just couldn’t help it anymore. Kelly and her had just gotten through a rough patch after she returned from her GOF trip. Kelly had worked on multiple cases with Seager but given how Stella had ghosted him during the end of her trip. If she brought up Seager recently. He would snap at her. Not because something was going on but Stella not having the right to question anything when she wasn’t communicating. Kelly reminding her, he wasn’t given a chance to tell her about working on cases with Seager. Stella felt it was a no win situation. She would just have to let it go.

Kelly returned home after wrapping up a case with Seager. Hearing how Stella had recruited Mason to be the new member on her team. Kelly proud of his fiancée for going after the right fit. As he was strutting towards her, crashing his lips into hers. Stella pushing him away for a moment. Questioning if he was going to get called away while enjoying some sexy time.

“I’m exactly where I want to be”

Later, much later after a much needed love making session. Kelly had seen Stella while Seager was around and knew she was bothered. Honestly, he didn’t blame her either. It would bring out his insecurities as well. Remembering Tyler. Knowing he was in love with Stella. It caused so much turmoil which was one factor leading up to their breakup. Well, how was this different. Seager definitely wanted Kelly it was blankly obvious. So of course this would make Stella a little insecure.

“Stella. I need you to know something”

“Ummm. Ok”

“No matter how many cases I work on with Seager. I will always come home to you. Wanting you. My passion starts and lies with you. I am only attracted to you. She is and will ever only be a co worker. Strictly platonic. I hope you truly believe that”

“I do, Kelly. It just bothers me sometimes and brings out some insecurities”

“Stella. I don’t ever want you to feel that way. I have so much passion and love for you. Seriously, when I see you. Anytime, anywhere. I am so attracted to you, only you. That is never going to change”

“Thank you babe. I will let it go. Guess I can’t really blame her for being attracted to you. God knows how lucky I am to have you as my man”

“She can look all she wants, Stel. But only you get the goods”

Stella knowing Kelly only had eyes for her. She trusted him. Seager would never be a threat.

#fanfic #stellaride #chicago fire #stella kidd #kelly severide #abc #love language #love story in letters #tooth rotting fluff #dating #friendship/love #marriage #soulmates

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summerslovelight · 2 years

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The nightly struggle: Figuring out which fandom I want for my bedtime story. ♥️

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otter-love-asl · 1 year

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WIP Wednesday

9-1-1: Lone Star: Home for the Holidays (Chapter Undecided)

TK hums, "Maybe a little bit," he grins. "Don't worry," he whispers, dropping his voice even more so Nieves can't hear him, "I think it's sexy on you." "Do you?" "Mmm-hum." "You know we can't do anything," Carlos reminds him,subtly jerking his head in Nieves' direction. "I know," TK responds, slightly leaning into Carlos. "And you're okay with that?" "Yes... as long as we can do things when you don't have Nieves with us, but for now, I am perfectly fine with this," TK answers. "I think we can manage that," Carlos smiles, putting his arm over TK's shoulder, letting TK lean in closer to him. Sinking into Carlos, TK turns to him, "You're comfortable." Carlos laughs softly. "Nieves says the same thing. Good to know that you and my niece are on the same page." "Great minds think alike," TK jokes as they watch Nieves go through the box, periodically looking up at them to show them something that she found.

Chicago Fire: One Shot (One Chicago Appreciation Week 2021)

"Yeah, last time we actually talked, she invited us out to visit her the next time we get furlough," he tells her. "Really?" Stella asks surprised. "Why do you look so shocked?" Kelly teases her. "Both of us?" Stella asks. "I've met her once," she reminds him. "Yes, both of us," he answers. "And I know you guys only met once. She likes you. And she knows you're important to me." "Are you sure you would want me to go go to Colorado with you? It would be a great brother-sister trip for you." "I'm sure," Kelly answers. "I think she wants you to come," he tells her before smirking, "I might have already told her I'm veting her boyfriend when we go out." "Kelly!" Stella playfully smacks his shoulder. "What?" he laughs. "You will not pester her boyfriend," she tells him. "I won't," he responds. "I just want to make sure he's good enough for my sister. I didn't even know about her until she was twenty-one." Stella shakes her head, "This is what makes you a good man, Kelly Severide." He kisses her, "I just want to do better than Benny." "You are," she assures him. She goes to tell him something else, but they are interrupted by his phone going off.

Tagging: anyone who wants to

#WIP Wednesday #911 Lone Star #Tarlos #Chicago Fire #Stellaride #911 Lone Star FanFIc #Chicago Fire FanFic

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alittlextrathatway · 3 months

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What are some of your best and worst Brettsey moments?

What are some moments that inspire you to write or make you write because things need to be changed?

What are some storylines you wish the show had exploded with Matt and Sylvie as individuals and Brettsey?

Or times when the writers could have gone deeper?

Is there anything you want to write but feel apprehensive about or feel like you can't get it right?

Now that the Caseys have left Chicago I can answer this one. 🥺 Been saving it.

It’s so hard to narrow down BEST moments. I love the “You’re a little extra that way” conversation, Sylvie’s confession of feelings from 9x16, their love scene from that same episode, the first kiss in 9x02, and the eye contact at Molly’s from 9x02 as well. There’s more but those are the first ones that come to mind. Of course now I have to consider the BEAUTY that was their wedding ep which gave us SO MUCH. Their vows were perfect. Making out in the turn out room, also perfect. Sylvie escaping/running for her life and Matt tackling the guy and holding Sylvie for dear life after, again perfect.

As for worst, I’d say anything out of character. Matt’s 10x22 “I don’t know” always makes me mad because there’s no way someone who loves Sylvie as much as he does wouldn’t reassure her in that moment. The way the break up was orchestrated in 11x01 with Sylvie comparing her relationship to Violet’s or Stellaride’s or even Kyle’s, Matt and she not talking for two weeks — all of it felt forced and weird. Sylvie doesn’t normally compare herself to others like that and Matt wrote Sylvie a LETTER and put it in the mail in S10 when they kept missing each other. I’d say those.

I think a lot of what inspires me to write is less things that need to be changed and more things that need to be explained. Like the break up in 11x01 and Matt’s “I don’t know” in 10x22. Both those things made me want to dig in and take something that feels OOC to me and elaborate on it. That happened to me in S9 a lot. I wanted to really explore their perspectives, thoughts, traumas, and emotions in a way TV just doesn’t have a lot of time to do.

The biggest one for me is the trauma that resulted from Arnow. Matt’s guilt over Sylvie being hurt and Otis. Sylvie’s grief over losing Otis and exploring that grief as part of the reason she didn’t realize things with Kyle wouldn’t work sooner than she did. I feel like there was some excellent material there that could have been mined for them. The other one, that I was convinced the show was saving for the dating Brettsey era that we never really got, was meeting Brett’s birth father. After everything she went through with Julie, how would that go? Would he be as lovely as Julie was? How would Matt help her through it?

Times when the writers could have gone deeper for me is always going to be exploring trauma. I wanted to know more about Matt’s relationship with his dad. We saw Nancy and we heard about his dad from her but what were Matt’s memories like? How did he remember him? Also why didn’t Christie share Matt’s opinion on their mom or see the abuse? Was their dad partial to Christie? And for Sylvie, I wanted to know more about Harrison and Hope and how that dynamic shaped a young Sylvie. Harrison and Hope were clearly the gaslighting types and if those people were her childhood best friend and high school sweetheart then there must be more emotional abuse that she didn’t reconcile until after they were gone. I also would have liked to have actually met her parents or her brother.

As far as things I want to write but can’t, I have had an idea for a regency Brettsey AU FOR YEARS. I am not great with historical fiction/romance though so I’ve never seriously attempted to write it. But man do I want to. I think it would be full of so much yearning and tenderness.

Hopefully I answered all the questions you had! I LOVED THESE QUESTIONS. My favorite part of writing fanfic of these two is trying to get inside these people’s heads. They’re complicated and loving and generous but also have experienced great tragedies and faced abuse from people they loved. The fact that they find solace and safety in each other is breathtaking to me and so well deserved.

#chicago fire #brettsey #sylvie brett #matt casey #matt casey x sylvie brett #ask box #ask angellwings #angellwings answers

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chicagofires · 8 hours

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Totally unrelated to the finale, but do you have any suggestions on good stellaride fanfic where they have kids? I’ve gotten the suggestion of “She’s her daddy’s girl, her mommas world” on ao3 I think that’s what it’s called. I’ve read it but I’m looking to read more. I just keep thinking abt them expanding their family. Also I desperately need me some good fanfic. I know that there’s this one blog on here that posts some stories but I can’t find it atm. Open to any suggestions if you have any. Thx!

yes i have so many recs! i really only read fics from ao3 so these are all from there! becoming three by pinkliberty, accident by captainamergirl, and a loss too great to bear by whoknowswhy99 and the blog you’re talking about might be @district447

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stellariders · 3 days

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/53111998/chapters/142336174

Idk if you read on there, but this new chapter gave everything I was looking fkr after the crazy 12x10 call where he almost lost her

i have read it and i love it so much! it’s everything i didn’t know i needed! she’s also one of my favorite stellaride writers! i constantly reread her fanfics while waiting for her to post more 😭

#asked and answered #chicago fire #one chicago #stellaride #kelly severide #stella kidd

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deanstead · 2 years

Text

Right Time, Wrong Place

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader, Stellaride

Requested: yes, by anon

Summary: When Y/N comes to Chicago to accept a job offer, she finds herself stuck in a dangerous situation with Jay. As Kelly works to get Stella’s best friend out, Y/N and Jay try to navigate the situation they find themselves in.

Word Count: 3,864 (oops, got carried away)

Warnings: canon-typical mentions of injuries

A/N: I have another fic with a similar title but I still felt this fit for this fic so here it is! There wasn't a pairing specified for this but I really liked the dynamic in the request so I wrote this is a Jay x Reader with a splash of Stellaride, I hope that's okay! Thank you to my beloved @mertes4cker and @enchantedblackrose for helping to beta! Do drop by and let me know what you guys think! Any mistakes are mine!

JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST

STELLARIDE MASTERLIST

“Hey Stella.”

Stella raised her head from where she was mixing drinks at the bar, a huge smile growing on her face when her eyes met yours. Stella pushed the drink into Herrmann’s hands before she rounded out of the counter to give you a hug.

Figures that the first place you’d headed for once you reached Chicago was Molly’s.

You hadn’t had an easy childhood, but you also knew that the reason why you’d somehow muddled your way through it was because you and Stella had had each other to hold on to. And even now, when life had forced the two of you into two different cities, nothing could break the bond that you had with Stella. She wasn’t just your best friend, she was your sister.

You’d already been here a couple of times to see Stella and you’d already met and knew most of her friends, so when a job opportunity had given you the chance to move back to Chicago, you didn’t even hesitate.

“Hey, Y/N.”

You broke apart from Stella’s hug to smile back at her fiancé. “Hey Kelly.”

Kelly had been nothing but kind to you from the moment Stella had introduced the both of you and despite their ups and downs, there had always been something about Kelly that clued you in to the fact that he and Stella were just meant to be.

“Everything okay?” Kelly asked, pulling out the chair next to him for you to slide onto as Stella headed back around to the back of the bar to get you your drink.

“I got the job.”

Stella looked up from what she was doing, the smile frozen on her face. You’d planned to keep it a secret from Stella until you actually got the job partly because you didn’t want to get her hopes up but you should have known you couldn’t keep anything from Stella.

“You… you got it?”

You let out an audible laugh. “Yeah, I did.”

Stella let out a triumphant yell as she leaned over to give you a hug across the bar.

“You know once of these days the both of you need to give me a dictionary, or something.” Kelly said, which made the both of you laugh.

Stella laughed, glancing at you. “Fill him in while I go…” She pointed to the new customers that had come in.

You were in the midst of filling Kelly in about the new job when you heard a familiar voice, a voice that sent your heart pounding just a little quicker against your chest and the unmistakable flutter in your gut. “Y/N?”

You glanced back around you, knowing whose green eyes you’d be looking into before you saw him. “Hey, Jay.”

You’d met Jay Halstead during one of your earlier trips to Chicago when he’d joined Kelly at your table and although you’d hung out a few times, nothing had really happened between the two of you. Even so, there always seemed to be this invisible electric energy that felt like it was tugging you towards him.

“Didn’t know you were in town.” Jay smiled.

Kelly glanced up towards Stella who gave him a knowing smile back, giving him a small shake of her head. You barely heard Kelly excuse himself as Jay smiled. “So how long you going to be in town this time?” He asked, taking just half a step closer towards you.

You weren’t sure how much you wanted to let him know yet, so you just smiled and shrugged. “A while.”

“Does that mean I can catch you for a drink before you leave?” Jay asked, his green eyes sparkling a little.

You bit back a laugh and smiled back up at him. “You have my number.”

It had been a hectic few weeks, and you knew you’d be glad once you finally got settled in Chicago.

With help you’d managed to find a cheap and decent apartment that wasn’t too far from work but your apartment still looked like a tornado had swept through it. The boxes didn’t even fit in corners anymore so they had spilled over to the middle of your living room.

You glanced at your watch. The trip to the office today had just been to handle some administrative stuff, but with that you were one step closer to a new beginning. It had taken a little longer than you’d initially thought but Stella and Kelly were on shift tonight anyway so you thought you might as well just grab some food and take the opportunity to at least try to make your apartment more livable.

You looked up and couldn’t help rolling your eyes at yourself when you noticed you’d made it all the way down to the basement carpark when your stupid ass had parked on the street just an hour earlier. You let out a low chuckle because you could already hear Stella’s voice in your head and turned back towards the elevator to head back up when you caught a familiar figure out of the corner of your eye. You turned back again, just to make sure you hadn't been wrong.

“Jay?”

Jay turned towards the sound of your voice, the serious look on his face giving way to a smile as he recognized you. “Hey. What are you doing here?”

You smiled without even meaning to, like some infectious effect that Jay had on you. “I had some stuff to handle here. You?”

Jay made a face. “Just checking out a lead. I…”

Jay didn’t finish his sentence before there was a sound that sounded way too much like a bomb, the noise piercing against your eardrums and shaking the ground you stood on.

Instinctively, Jay reached forward for you, steadying you. “You okay?” Jay asked, and you saw a worried look cross on his face for the first time as he glanced around.

“That wasn’t a…”

Jay shook his head. “I don’t know. Stay here.”

He leaned in towards his truck for his police radio, which crackled like it was about to get a signal, before little bits of concrete and sand crackled down against the both of you.

“We need to get out of here.” Jay said, glancing at you, his hand closing around yours as he moved. “If you see anyone, you call to them.”

You nodded, allowing Jay to lead you towards the way he’d driven in, until there was a sound of cracking concrete, with more sand and crumbling bits of concrete raining towards the both of you.

You glanced up. “Jay!”

Jay glanced up in time to see slabs of concrete come hurtling down towards the both of you.

All units, Building Fire and Collapse.

Stella frowned as Mouch pulled up nearby. There were already PD cars at the other end of the street and she could vaguely hear the sounds of sirens meaning there were more trucks on their way.

Stella headed towards Chief, just half a step behind Kelly when she froze, her head turning back towards the street where there were a line of cars parked.

Kelly paused as well, turning back to glance at Stella. “Stella?”

Stella blinked once, the reality of it hitting her before she looked back at the building. The basement carpark was completely caved in and a fire had started on one of the higher floors.

Kelly glanced in the direction of where she’d just been looking and frowned. “Isn’t that…”

“She took the keys this morning. She had an errand to run… she…” Stella glanced back towards the building. “She’s in there.”

Kelly reached out and squeezed her hand. “If she’s in there, we’ll get her. Let’s get moving.”

Stella nodded before the both of them quickly headed over to where Chief was already barking orders.

You opened your eyes gingerly, feeling a smarting pain from somewhere although you didn’t know exactly where.

“Y/N, you okay?”

Jay’s voice caught your attention and you blinked, coughing.

Jay had hurled the both of you out of the way just in time for you not be crushed to your death by the huge slab of concrete that now lay where you'd been standing just a minute ago.

“You okay?” Jay repeated.

You nodded, your head sweeping over to where the exit should have been. “We’re trapped, aren’t we?”

Jay glanced at his broken police radio by the side and nodded. “Yeah.”

He looked back at you and helped you back to your feet when a sharp pain shot up your leg.

“Y/N?” Jay froze, his eyes scanning you as he tried to work out what had happened. You shook your head.

“I think my ankle got a little busted. It’s nothing serious.”

Jay looked like he wanted to argue but also knew there was no point. “Alright, come on.” He glanced at your expression then quickly added. “Look, I’m sure Kelly and Stella are already outside trying to work their way in. Let’s just find somewhere safer to wait, alright? We need to get you off that foot.”

Jay stuck his hand out to you and you took it, feeling the warmth seeping right into you as he walked in step with you, using another hand to hold you steady.

It wasn’t really the time or place but you were acutely aware that this was the closest you’d been to Jay, at least physically.

Jay helped you back towards his truck, glancing up towards the ceiling, before opening the back door so you could perch yourself on the backseat, your legs dangling out of the open car door. “I’m gonna take one round around this place to see if anyone else is here or if there’s another way out, alright?”

You wanted to ask him to stay but it also kind of felt a little dumb so you just nodded.

Jay, however, seemed to catch on quickly and he leaned nearer just to squeeze your hand. “I’ll be quick.”

You smiled and nodded, watching as Jay jogged towards the other side of the carpark.

You turned your eyes away from his direction, looking back at the ground, counting mentally in your head which was a thing Stella had taught you when the both of you had been younger and you needed to get your mind off something.

You’d counted to about 30 when you heard a noise and your head snapped up, your eyebrows scrunching together as you spotted a guy trying to jimmy Jay’s truck from the passenger side.

You frowned, sliding off the seat, wincing as your feet touched the ground and your ankle protested. Even so, you figured it was better for you to be on your feet, just in case.

You’d barely steadied yourself against Jay’s truck when the guy came around the front of his truck, pausing when he saw you there.

“What are you doing?” His voice was accusatory and you felt the prick of annoyance that came with knowing he was trying to cover up that he was the shady one.

You exhaled loudly. “I should be asking you that.”

“I’m getting some stuff from my truck.”

You struggled to keep your face straight without rolling your eyes. “We can’t get out anyway. The concrete collapsed over the entrance. And I don’t think this is your truck.”

“Excuse me?” He asked, his tone telling you that you were headed into dangerous territory.

You didn’t answer him, just took an unsteady step backwards.

“Just stay out of my way.” He growled threateningly, taking a step closer to you.

Before your instinct could even get your body moving, Jay announced his return by sliding in between you and the stranger, reaching his hand behind for your wrist, his fingers closing protectively around it. “Do we have a problem here?”

The man in front of you faltered for the first time since he’d appeared in front of you, giving you the urge to roll your eyes once again. Honestly, if it wasn’t for your busted ankle, you might have been a little less cautious.

The guy cleared his throat. “If you keep your girl out of my business, we don’t.”

“Then get the hell away from my truck.” Jay snapped.

You glanced up at him, the tone surprising you, realizing you’d never actually seen this side of Jay.

As realization dawned over his face, the guy slinked away and Jay turned back to look at you. “You okay?”

You smiled back at him, nodding. “Better now.”

Jay smiled back, glancing down at your injured foot. “Alright, will you sit down please?” Jay said gently, guiding you back towards the back seat of the truck and helping you up again.

“Nothing, huh?” You asked, as Jay leaned his body against his truck facing you.

Jay just gave you a small smile. “There’s a few groups of people around. We’ll be out of here soon, alright?”

You nodded, pausing before you looked up at him again. “Not to be that person but… I’m kind of glad you’re here with me. I mean… not that I want you in this mess but…”

Jay reached out and patted your wrist gently with a smile, shaking his head gently. “I’m glad I’m here too.”

You glanced up in a little surprise and Jay smiled. “I mean it’s no drink but I’m glad the someone in here with you is me.”

You gave him a smile and Jay moved his hand just slightly to cover yours.

“I’m moving to Chicago.” You told him, allowing his hand to rest over yours even though you could feel your heartrate increase just a little more. “I came here to sign the documents and ended up in this mess. You don’t think that’s a…”

Jay quickly shook his head. “Not a sign at all.”

You were acutely aware that Jay had leaned in, acutely aware that your heads were very close together though you weren't sure when that had happened. Your head moved a little, a little nod that gave Jay the message he needed as he shifted.

And then a series of thuds broke their way into your consciousness, forcing both you and Jay to look away from each other.

Before you could say anything, a tremor felt like it was slightly rocking the underground carpark and you glanced back up at Jay, as more debris rained down towards you.

“Alright, come on, let’s move.” Jay whispered, helping you out. You glanced at him a little confused before he added, “Not really comfortable leaving you alone now. Let’s just check what’s going on alright?”

You nodded, allowing Jay to support you as you leaned against him and he watched your pace, guiding you to avoid the debris and concrete slabs that had crashed down during the first collapse.

Jay followed the dull sound that sounded like someone was hitting against something, turning the corner to find someone actually trying to hack their way through the walls with an axe.

“What the… Stay here.” Jay said and you nodded at him before he headed to the guy to try to stop him.

You wanted to roll your eyes. Any idiot would know that hacking though any wall without the knowledge people like Kelly and Stella had, was a recipe for disaster and yet here was an idiot doing it right in front of your eyes.

You could hear the vague sounds of Jay trying to drill the facts into the guy’s head - the more he hacked, the more dangerous it would be, but he didn’t seem to want to listen to Jay as he raved on about needing to be somewhere else. A few other people that were trapped together with you and Jay seemed to be converging nearer to the ruckus as well.

That’s when you heard it, almost like the sound of something cracking.

You glanced up, the beams above you looking unsteady, and you glanced back down at Jay who seemed to have noticed.

“Y/N, back up, alright?” Jay said, his eyes locking onto yours.

You nodded, but as you took a step backwards, the few other people who’d come to check out the ruckus had also gotten the message and were now clambering to try to get as far away as possible.

You felt someone push you before you stumbled, the pain from your ankle shooting up your leg once again as you fell towards the ground.

Damn it.

You turned your head upwards just as a beam came crashing down again. This time, all you heard was Jay’s raised voice.

“Y/N!”

Kelly turned back from where he was working to glance at Chief. “Alright, we’re in.”

Chief nodded back at Kelly.

“Cruz, you up for this?” Kelly asked, glancing back at him.

Cruz nodded back at him. “Right behind you, Lieutenant.”

Kelly turned to give a small smile to Stella. “Be right back.” He assured her, heading inside.

Stella knew the drill. In a collapse like this, they couldn’t be sure how well this would hold or how many victims would be inside and with no line of communication, even sending Kelly and Cruz in was a stretch.

Kelly ducked his head, heading into the space they’d created. The basement was now littered with even more debris and concrete blocks but they maneuvered around them quickly.

“Fire Department!” Kelly hollered, as he spotted a group of people already heading towards him and Cruz. “Alright, follow him and he’ll get you out of here. Is anyone injured?”

Only one person responded. “I think there’s still two or three people over at the back. One of them seemed to already be injured.”

Kelly moved further in, nodding to Cruz to lead the rest out.

“Y/N! Are you in here?” Kelly hollered, moving further in before he heard another familiar voice.

“Kelly?”

Kelly frowned. “Jay?”

“In here!”

Kelly quickened his movements, heading towards the sound of Jay’s voice. There didn’t seem to be anyone else around and Kelly froze when he saw where Jay was.

Jay was kneeling next to you, one of your legs was stuck under a beam and you had a gash across your forehead but at least you were conscious.

Kelly didn’t miss the fact that Jay was holding your hand but turned towards you. “Hey, you with us?”

You smiled back up at Kelly. “I don’t… Please tell me you’re here to get us out.”

Kelly smiled and nodded. “Stella wouldn’t have it any other way.” He looked up at Jay. “Alright, come on, you think you can help me get this off her?”

Jay nodded, squeezing your hand again before he got up, helping Kelly to lift the beam to a better angle so that they could get you out from underneath.

Kelly reached for his radio. “I got her. Halstead’s in here too. Cruz, I need a backboard.”

“Copy.”

Jay headed back to you and squeezed your hand. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Thank you.” You whispered.

Jay gently swept your hair backwards without saying a word, as Cruz came in with the backboard and they lifted you on it so they could finally get you out of there.

Honestly, you knew just as well as everyone else that you’d been lucky to escape with just a fracture and some shallow open wounds.

“Hey you.”

You glanced up to see your best friend smiling back at you, Kelly by her side and you smiled, pushing yourself up to a sitting position.

“God, Stella. You have to get me out of here. I’m literally withering away.” You complained and Stella chuckled.

“Listen, Y/N. I was talking to Kelly and we were thinking you could come back with us.” You frowned at her words and Stella quickly continued. “Just until you’re out of the cast.”

“Stel, that’s another few months. I have an apartment here, I’ll be fine.”

Stella narrowed her eyes back at you. “What, you mean the apartment with the thousand boxes lying around?”

You opened your mouth to argue and then closed it again because you knew she was right. “Look, I don’t want to put you guys out. I’ll be fine.”

Stella gave you a look. “I dare you to repeat that.”

You glanced at Kelly who waved a hand at you. "I wouldn't."

“Guys, you just got engaged, at least not that long ago. I seriously don’t want to…”

Kelly stepped forward now, putting an arm casually around Stella who was already perched at the edge of your bed. “We have an extra room at the loft anyway. And it’d be just until the cast is removed and you can move around on your own. If you have someone to come home with, maybe I can convince Jay’s brother to discharge you earlier.”

You glanced at him, not particularly liking the emphasis on Jay’s brother.

It was a losing battle and you knew it. “Fine.”

Kelly smiled, throwing a wink at Stella. “I’ll go find Will. You girls talk.”

As Kelly left the room, Stella turned back to you. “So, spill.”

You shrugged, knowing exactly what Stella was referring to. “I'm lucky he was in there. I don’t think I would have been as calm as I was without him. The first concrete alone might have killed me."

Stella gave you another look. “You know that’s not what I’m asking.”

You betrayed a small smile.

“We’ll see.”

Stella returned the smile, just as there was a knock at the door.

“Hope I’m not interrupting.”

Stella gave you a knowing smile, motioning for Jay to come in as she winked at you. “I��m going to check on Kelly, we’ll be back in a bit.”

You narrowed your eyes at her but Stella left the room anyway and you turned back to Jay.

“Just wanted to check in on you.” Jay smiled. “You doing okay?”

You nodded. “Thanks, Jay. Seriously. Not sure I could have survived if you hadn’t been there with me.”

Jay smiled, leaning in just a little closer. “I’m just glad you’re okay. Well, mostly okay.” His eyes flicked to your cast.

“Stella and Kelly insisted on me going to their place for a while, until the cast is off.” You made a face. “And I’ve never actually won an argument with Stella. At least not about things like this.”

Jay just smiled.

“So... maybe we can still catch that drink once you’re better. Since you’re staying.” Jay’s eyes twinkled back at you, the light back in his eyes now that you were all out of harm’s way.

You grinned. “A drink’s not gonna cut it anymore.” You paused as a look of confusion fluttered across Jay’s face. “But I’ll be up for dinner once I’m sorta back on my feet. If you don’t mind.”

“Dinner sounds great.” Jay said, the relief settling back into his usual smile.

You smiled. “After that whole fiasco, I’m all for the no regrets thing… so I think…”

Jay just leaned in and gently pressed his lips against yours. “Yeah, me too.” He whispered, as he lifted his lips from yours.

“You read my mind.” You answered, smiling back at him.

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