#Season 1 hotch owns my heart | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hotchs-big-hands · 10 months

Text

What did you call me?

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|8.3k words

Aaron Hotchner x plus size fem!reader

NSFW Minors dni please

Warning(s): fatphobia, angst, body insecurities, comfort, smut, fingering, daddy kink/sir kink, spanking, body worship, sex toys, unprotected sex, just generally very smutty lmao

When Dom/sub couples begin to show up murdered mid-coital, the BAU team is brought in to solve the case. But as more couples are found and the unsub remains undetected, it becomes an undercover mission. The posing Dom/sub couple in question? Your intimidating, attractive boss and you.

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

Hiiiiiii 💖💖💖 just wanna say thank you so so much for enjoying this lil series, the response has been amazing!!! It really warms my heart so again thank you so much!! I really hope you enjoy this last chapter and here's to more fics in the future!! I hope you all enjoy 💖

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

From the moment you arrived back at the station you could feel the stares from the officers around you, zeroing in on you like a pack of wolves. You wanted nothing more than to shrink into nothingness, anything to stop them staring at you. You remembered that you still had that damn collar on and made quick work of removing it, but now you had nowhere to put it. Your bag was in your hotel room.

Reluctantly, you approached Emily, who was chatting quietly to Spencer whilst waiting for your unit chief to... re-emerge. Spencer blinked as he caught sight of the lovebites that were starting to really set in on the bare skin of your chest and neck. Emily smirked at you when she spotted you but you tried to ignore it.

"Em... I was wondering if you could put this in your bag for now?" You asked, holding out the collar whilst your cheeks flushed. You kept your gaze elsewhere, anywhere but your two friends. She chuckled.

"I mean, you could just wear it."

You clenched your jaw and stepped closer, anxiety beginning to bubble inside you.

"Please, just put it in your bag! I'll take it back off you when we get back to the hotel, but for now please take it off me."

She stared at you for a moment, then a wide grin stretched across her face.

"Alright, alright I was just teasing. Save that begging for Hotch. I'll take it for now, alright?" She teased, making Spencer take a large gulp of his coffee, brows raised and eyes wide and you scrunched your own shut for a second.

"Could have worded that differently but... Thanks." You handed the collar to the raven haired woman and she shoved it into one of the side pockets of her bag. You exhaled and wrapped your arms around yourself again. There was a flurry of footsteps behind you and your shoulders tensed up, not daring to turn around at the risk of facing Hotch.

"-We'll have to start conducting the interrogation without him, I'm not waiting around forever." You heard the chief of police say and your eyes glanced towards Spencer and Emily, equally sharing an exasperated expression. Sighing quietly, you turned around and came face-to-face with the chief, Rossi, Derek and JJ, who looked a little stressed out.

"At the very least, allow us to do this. If you go in there hot-headed, she's going to just seize up and not say a word." Rossi said and you glanced at him, before quickly looking away.

"Are you suggesting I don't know what I'm doing?" The chief turned around to stare down the seasoned agent, who didn't even batter an eye.

"I'm telling you what you need to know. We know how to deal with these things. Yelling at a suspect like this isn't going to get you anywhere."

Clearly dissatisfied with this, the chief spun on his heel to storm away when he seemingly finally noticed you were there and the expression on his face when his eyes sharply analysed you from head to toe made your chest tighten.

"You couldn't have gotten changed before you got here?" He asked gruffly and you squared your shoulders.

"No, why would I? There would be no point in me going back to the hotel to change my clothes and then travelling back here." You said. He sneered at you.

"Well no-one here really wants to see you dressed like you're trying to be a tart. You don't have the body for it anyway."

You couldn't stop your mouth from falling open in shock and dismay, paralysed by the harsh words. The room around you seemed to move, but you couldn't register that your friends and colleagues were in motion, the chief suddenly out of sight. This wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last time on a case you'd face such things from disgruntled detectives, police officers and the like, but no one would be so daring as to say something like that in front of the others. You'd never spoken about it to anyone, feeling embarrassed that you were treated as lesser than them. But now... Now they all knew.

You felt a hand on your shoulder which made you flinch and snap out of your daze.

"Hey... Come on." It was Derek's voice. You slowly turned to him and saw the concern deep-set on his face. You sighed a little and fought back the ache in your throat, the stinging in your eyes and the tremble of your lower lip.

"I'm fine. Who's doing the questioning?"

With a slight shake of his head, Derek placed his other hand on your other shoulder.

"Don't worry about that right now. What he said to you; it's a load of shit, okay?"

You didn't know what to say, so you shrugged. His hands tightened slightly, his concern deepening. His eyes glanced behind you and he communicated wordlessly with whoever it was, then his eyes returned to you.

"Prentiss and Rossi are going in there for now. You and I are going to get you something warm to drink, okay? We'll see where's still open right now." He said with a gentle sternness. You knew there was no point in trying to debate him on this, so you offered a small smile.

"Alright."

Even with this little bit of respite from the humiliation and pain you felt, soon to be holding your favourite warm drink whilst your friend did his best to make you smile, you knew the moment you were alone in your hotel room there would be nothing to stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks and soaking into the pillows.

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

Half an hour into the interrogation, Derek held the door open for you to slip into the viewing room to listen and watch. Your eyes darted around the room and your shoulders slumped; Hotch wasn't there still, but the chief was. He side-eyed you, looking a little pale and swallowing thickly before he returned to watching Rossi and Emily talk to Tanya. Why wasn't Hotch here still? Even if he had become...aroused during the undercover work, surely he would have returned to the station by now. You held back a sigh, instead sipping your drink as you analysed Tanya. There was no space for distractions, for silly thoughts. And yet...

Yet you couldn't stop thinking about him. Why he hadn't returned still. Was he avoiding you? Maybe he felt regretful for having to do those things with you. Maybe he was disgusted by you. Maybe-

Warmth surrounded you. Expensive fabric draped over your shoulders and suddenly your senses were overpowered. His cologne, his natural musk. Oh...

Cautiously, you peeked to the side and glanced up. Your mouth fell slightly open. Hotch gazed down at you, his eyes were already on you and your heart ached and your stomach felt fluttery. You noted that he was more well put together than earlier, as though nothing had ever happened. You turned away quickly, hoping the interrogation would be over soon so you could escape. This wasn't fair. Why...why did you allow yourself to let your guard down when you were doing the undercover work with him? You were embarrassed. Surely, he would have easily picked up on the fact that you weren't even acting, especially when the two of you made it to the bed and his lips were on your skin. At this point, you weren't so sure how you were going to return to work as normal after this.

"(L/n). Are you okay?" Hotch asked you quietly, pulling you from your thoughts. Shit, you hadn't realised tears were brimming in your eyes. You cleared your throat, refusing to turn from the viewing window.

"Oh yeah, I am. Just the adrenaline slowly dying down now." You said lamely. He laid a hand on your arm, willing you to turn to him. You tensed up at his touch, making him drop his hand and his brow to furrow.

"I'm not sure you are."

You couldn't do this, it was stupid. Stupid to be upset about a job, about your boss doing what you were supposed to be focussed on. You turned to the window again and looked down at the drink in your hand, delicate swirls of steam rising from the liquid.

"I think they're close to getting a confession from her."

"(L/n)." Hotch's voice sounded tight but you held firm.

"I just want to focus on this," you glanced at him and felt your heart clenching tightly, you almost hated the concern etched on his face. "Please."

Defeatedly, he sighed quietly and nodded.

"We'll have a talk later, then."

Your hands were trembling the next time you took a sip of your drink.

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

There was no respite for you even when the interrogation was over. No, you'd made haste leaving the station after handing Hotch his jacket back, not giving him time to speak before you were rushing away, and even managed to travel with Rossi once again back to the hotel with Derek and Spencer in the back. And yet...

Yet your dear colleagues weren't about to let you wallow by yourself. All you wanted to do was change into your pjs and, frankly, cry yourself to sleep that night but JJ and Emily all but refused to return to their hotel rooms without making sure you were okay. It wasn't unwelcome, per say, but you wanted time to yourself to just process everything and let your emotions out alone.

And so you were curled up on your bed, still in the damn dress and lingerie, shoes long since kicked off at the door for the last time and pantyhose discarded in your bag, hugging one of your pillows to your chest. The two women watched you cautiously, both perched on the bed with you.

"Does it happen often?" Emily asked gently. You nodded glumly, eyes trained on the bedsheets.

"For about 70% of cases we go on I come across at least one person who treats me like that."

"Please try to tell one of us if it happens again in future, (Y/n)." JJ gazed at you and placed a hand on your arm. "I mean, if you told Hotch he would -"

"-no! I'm not telling him or would ever tell him about this!" You hissed, panic rising within you. "That's such a stupid thing to do. I'm an adult, there's no need for me to tell him people are being rude to me like he's a-a- a freakin' teacher or my dad or- Just no."

Before either of the women could say anything to counter this you glared. "And neither of you should tell him too. Keep him out of this."

"(Y/n), it's just important you don't let others to keep treating you like this. Hotch cares a lot about you. I mean, he's been asking about you because he worries about you. And that's only us that we know of him asking." The raven haired woman spoke softly, it made you grit your teeth and squeeze the pillow tighter.

"It's only because he's noticed I've not been focused enough at the moment." You muttered, not wanting to feel the flutter in your stomach. Maybe he did care, but not the same way as you cared for him.

Emily sighed quietly and lay a hand on your shoulder.

"Hey... Look, I'm sorry for teasing you about him. I don't mean any ill-will, I just think you both should get together."

You glanced at JJ, who smiled in agreement, it didn't stop the swirling thoughts in your head though.

"It's fine. I just..." You moved one of your hands to brush against one of the lovebites on your neck, unsure how to word what you wanted to say. "I guess I just, well, got too caught up in the moment that when the suspect burst into the hotel room I had to face reality. Hotch, he's my boss, nothing more. He's much older than me, I would just be too immature for him. I also just don't think I'd, yknow...be his type."

You stared intently at the bedsheets now, focusing hard to stop yourself from crying. The older women encased you in an embrace, letting you sniffle quietly as finally a few stray tears escaped your eyes.

"You need to talk to him, okay? If not tonight then maybe when we're back in Quantico." JJ suggested softly and as much as you hated the idea you nodded meekly, considering bringing up a request to either transfer to a different unit or resign. It was a good while before they let go of you, only doing so when you insisted you just wanted to get out of your clothing and put your pjs on. You were exhausted, not so much in dire need of sleep, just mentally and emotionally. With a gentle reminder they were both one message away from being there for you, Emily and JJ bid you good night and disappeared off down the corridor to their own rooms. Finally, you were in solitude. Now you could mourn a relationship that never would be and try to figure out where you'd go from here.

For a quarter of an hour you simply lay on your back with your arms sprawled out, staring at the ceiling as fresh tears streamed down your temples, every so often making your face twitch at the feeling. You didn't feel you even deserved to be so heartbroken over Aaron Hotchner. Neither of you were dating, he never showed any indication that he wanted to date you, nor would that be allowed anyway with his position as your boss. It was all in your head. Your lower lip trembled again as a new round of crying started up. At the very least you should get out of the clothes you were wearing before you gave up entirely on the evening. And so, very reluctantly, you pushed yourself to sit up and began the process of undoing your bra first through the dress.

The instant the clasp came undone you exhaled, feeling relieved. You pulled the garment out through the top of the dress once you'd moved it off your shoulders and dropped it next to you. Your hands drifted to the hem of the skirt, ready to pull it up over your head.

And then there was a firm knock on the door.

Instantly, you felt apprehension flood through you, bristling at the hollow sound. It was eerily familiar, but you weren't feeling in the mood to answer the door, whoever it was there. So you ignored it, opting to pull the skirt up again.

Another knock, more insistent now. With a groan, you rose up on your feet and stormed over to the door, just wishing to be left alone. You unlocked it, swung the door open and opened your mouth to speak.

"Please, just leave me alo-" Your voice died in your throat, eyes bulging wide and your stomach clenching. No... Surely, this was a joke.

"(L/n)." Hotch's voice was soft, deep. You slowly closed your mouth and cleared your throat.

"U-uhm. Good evening, sir." You managed to mumble. He stepped closer.

"May I come in?" He asked you cautiously, eyeing you. You barely managed to say yes to him whilst you stepped out of the way, pulling the door open wider as you retreated, then quietly closed the door behind him. You couldn't turn around just yet.

"C-can I help you, sir?"

"You've been crying."

Ouch. At that, you slowly faced him with your head bowed slightly.

"I may have been, yes."

He watched you, taking in your current state, trying to avoid lingering around certain areas after noticing a few changes since he last saw you. He stepped forward one step, hands at his sides loosely.

"Why?" He promoted you gently. You shrugged.

"It's nothing important."

"But it clearly is if it's making you cry. So please, tell me why you've been crying."

You felt your hands trembling when you slowly tilted your head up enough to gaze at him through wet lashes. He was so fucking gorgeous; the same button down shirt from earlier that night, the sleeves rolled up, those form-fitting dress pants, his beautiful brown eyes and beauty marks on his skin. You felt a fresh tear roll down your cheek.

"I.... I don't know what you want me to say." You finally said after a round of opening and closing your mouth. He frowned slightly, stepping closer to you enough for you to have to lift your head up more if you wanted to look him in the face.

"Dave told me what the chief of police said to you. I had....a word with him."

Your eyes widened and you stumbled further into the room, running a hand over your scalp.

"Oh fuck, that goddamn Italian man. I swear...." Your hands curled into fists and you closed your eyes for a second. "You didn't need to do that. I'm fine."

"Yes I did. I won't stand for anyone in my team being treated like that." He countered you, not breaking his stare. Your face fell, shoulders drooped slightly and you wrapped your arms around yourself.

"I... I'm tired, I was getting changed. Is it okay if we just talk about this another time?" You mumbled softly, refusing to look at the man in front of you.

"No."

You blinked, then looked up at Hotch wide-eyed.

"I'm sorry?"

He stepped closer still, eyes on yours as he gazed down at you through those gorgeous eyelashes.

"I said no. It's important I settle this now with you." He drew in a deep breath and rolled his shoulders back. You were entranced, you couldn't help it. "I need to make sure you know you did very well on this case, that you always do. But during this one you were exceptional."

You trembled a little, you could feel the warmth radiating off him and your brain felt slightly mushy from the praise.

"I..."

Hotch's eyes narrowed slightly. Your breath caught in your throat as you gazed up at him, blood rushing in your ears.

"You never seem to know what to say when given praise from me. Why is that?" He asked you firmly but not unkindly. You trembled.

"I... I don't think this is something we should be discussing, sir." You managed to mumble but he didn't waver.

"Ever since you joined my team you've always been shy and cautious around me. I originally thought it was just your personality but the way you interact with the others is very different." He was so close to you now that his scent melded into you, his warmth only posing to make you feel all the more hotter. "I began to have my suspicions of why, but it did become apparent to me what was happening. This...case only solidified that."

Oh god. He knew. He knew and still asked you to do the undercover job with him. The blood drained from your face and a coldness flooded your abdomen.

"W-wait, you've known I was into you all this time?!" You were mortified, staring wide eyed at Hotch. "You shouldn't have asked me to do that undercover job!"

You scrambled backwards from him and felt the back of your legs hitting the bed. Hotch watched you carefully, shifting his weight slightly to one hip.

"Perhaps not, no."

"So why? Why ask me to do it?" You pleaded softly, feeling your eyes prickle with tears. He followed you now and cupped your cheeks gently with his warm hands, stuttering your breaths.

"Because I'm a selfish man, (Y/n)." He spoke and you froze. Surely you were hearing him wrong.

"What?"

He smiled, one that you always loved seeing, as rare as it was. He leaned in closer to you, eyes on yours as he was now gazing through his long lashes.

"What I'm trying to say is I have feelings for you too."

No, there had to be a mistake. Your lower lip trembled slightly and your brows scrunched together.

"But...you're not into me... You've never been into me." You said quietly. He stroked your cheeks with his thumbs as he gazed down at you.

"I didn't want to overstep any boundaries. I'm your boss, it would affect you if it was not approved, not me. But also..." He swallowed thickly and glanced away. "I'm too old for you, I have a son, emotional baggage. But I decided to be selfish anyway and have you with me earlier, just so I could have even just a moment of pretending things were different between us. It's my fault, I want you. I need you so much, emotionally, physically, all of you."

You stared at him, stray tears rolling down your cheeks as you tried to process his words. It was unbelievable, never having felt so desired like this. And so you stepped away, turning from him and smoothing your hands over your dress self-consciously.

"Hotch, I... I'm not saying you're a liar but I just.... It doesn't seem realistic for someone like you to be into me." You let out a sad chuckle, moving to grab a shirt to pull on over your dress, expecting the conversation to continue for a while.

And then you heard it. A rumble from Hotch, almost a growl. Suddenly, you felt his hands on your wide, plump hips and he pulled you to him, your back to his heaving chest, a squeak of surprise escaping your lips.

"Does this feel like I'm not into you?" He hissed, pressing his crotch against your body where you could now feel the prominent hardness of his arousal against your lower back. His strong hands dug into the flesh of your plump hips hard enough to probably bruise you and you whimpered.

"H-Hotch?"

One of his hands loosened its grip on you, only to swat at your ass sharply.

"You know that's not how you address me, little girl." He sounded dangerous and it thrilled you to your core. Fuck, you reached behind you to grip onto his shirt.

"Sir?"

"Mhm you don't know how much it affects me when you call me that all the time." He rumbled, kissing the top of your head before turning you to face him again, smoothing his hands over your ass. "And when you called me daddy earlier this evening? I was ready to have my way with you immediately."

Your eyes were blown wide as your heart raced. Feeling his erection against your body... The coldness within melted away, leaving a burning hot need for him.

"I... I liked calling you that." Your voice was barely above a whisper, he smiled slightly.

"Oh?" He leaned closer, his mouth near yours now. You hesitated.

"Y-you really are into me, then?"

His gaze softened, setting your heart ablaze.

"Very much so. May I kiss you, sweet girl?"

You shivered.

"Please, please kiss me."

With a hum that vibrated through his very being, Aaron pressed his lips to yours softly, a feeling you'd been craving ever since earlier that evening. You tilted your head to deepen it, hands pressed against his broad chest whilst his own encouraged you to roll your hips against him. Your panties felt slick by this point, and he pulled away just enough to let you both breathe, a string of saliva connecting your mouthes.

"Sweetheart, let me prove to you what I say is the truth." He said softly, eyes boring into yours through heavy eyelids. You nodded slightly, earning a squeeze of your ass cheeks. "I need to hear you say it, little girl."

You gulped, cheeks hot.

"Please... Please show me, daddy."

He smiled, then pulled you over to the bed and laid you out.

"Such a pretty girl, all for me."

Climbing onto the bed, he crawled over to you and kissed you again, hands roaming over your cheeks and down your neck to your shoulders. As his hands crept to your chest you whimpered, pulling your lips back a little.

"I- before you came here I already took my-my bra off so... Uhm.." you trailed off awkwardly, earning a low chuckle.

"Oh, sweetheart, if I hadn't already noticed this the moment you opened your door to me I would be a fool. Will you let daddy touch them, hm? He's been wanting to touch your pretty tits for a very long time." He murmured against your lips and you nodded meekly, then quickly verbally said yes when a rumble vibrated through his chest.

"Please, daddy."

He groaned and his hands slid towards your chest. "Such a good girl."

God... His large hands cupped your breasts gently, thumbs brushing over your peaked nipples through the fabric of the dress. You gasped, thrusting your chest up into his touch, to which he chuckled again.

"So needy for daddy's touch. Don't worry, sweet girl, daddy is going to make sure you never miss his touch again."

You moaned quietly, shifting to spread your legs so he could slot between them, the dress riding up your thick thighs as the fabric stretched. He pressed his crotch to your clothed slit and you mewled at the throbbing heat from him. He became more handsy, squeezing your breasts and pressing his face down to the valley between them, inhaling your scent, kissing you, sucking the skin. Your head was swimming. This was real, not an act for work. He was rolling his hips into you, groaning against your skin as he left multiple lovebites all over your chest. Your hands played with his soft hair, strands sticking up in different directions now and driving you wild. He sucked harder on your skin with every whimper and moan that escaped your swollen lips.

He pulled back suddenly and his hands slipped down to the hem of your dress.

"I want to see you, sweetheart. Will you let daddy take your dress off of you?"

You froze. As briefly as you had been mostly unclothed before Hotch earlier, this felt different. You felt vulnerable, shy. You bit your lip, making his brow furrow slightly.

"Sweetheart?"

"I... I don't know if you'd wanna see me naked. I mean, what if you don't really...like what you see?"

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, but a frown had begun to make itself aware on his face.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me? Knowing you don't feel good enough for me makes me angry, sweetheart." He said, playing with the hem. "Not angry with you, but everyone who's made you feel as though no-one would desire seeing your body."

His fingers ghosted over your clothed pussy, making you tremble and gasp out. You knew he could feel how saturated your panties were from the way he prodded his finger more firmly against you, the thought made your slit clench. His finger was so big against you...

"I... Mmm, I have just dealt with some stuff in the past, but I won't let it ruin this for us." Hotch's frown didn't waver at your words, his finger against your pussy stilled.

"You don't have to take your dress off if you're not comfortable, sweetheart. Nothing will ruin this, you aren't ruining anything. I want you to feel good, to understand in your own time that I desire you so badly. It's not about just sex, I desire you in all aspects. But I don't want you to be uncomfortable, okay?"

You felt yourself smiling at his words, burying your face against his chest momentarily as you giggled.

"You're making me feel all bubbly. I'm comfortable with you very much, Aaron. I... I feel confident enough to let you take my dress off." You said lightly, leaning back again to smile up at him. His mouth was slightly agape, slowly returning the soft grin.

"You called me Aaron. I've never heard you call me that before."

You were beaming now, pulling him down again to kiss him.

"Well I've not had the opportunity to until now, it was Sir, Hotch or daddy-"

Aaron's thumb brushed against your clit suddenly, your body freezing up at the sensation. You gasped out, spreading your legs wider still and feeling him smile against your mouth.

"You can call me Aaron next time, sweetheart. I like the way it sounds coming from you." Your mind fixated on the words 'next time', until his hand moved from your slit to tug on your dress. "Now then, sweetheart, let's get you out of this dress." He said and began to pull the velvety garment up your body.

You resisted the urge to curl in on yourself when the expanse of your thighs was revealed, the rolls and squish of your stomach and waist, up, up, up and over your head until you lay bare besides your panties. His eyes remained on yours as your chest heaved, nervousness creeping back into you. And then slowly, his eyes drifted down your body, taking you in little by little. His hands smoothed over your trembling thighs to soothe you, thumbs brushing against the sensitive skin near the heat of your panties.

"So fucking gorgeous." He rumbled, pressing his hips against you again. "Can you feel that? Can you feel me twitching against your little pussy? You're so fucking sexy, I need to fuck you real good, sweetheart. Will you let daddy take your panties off you?"

You thrust your hips up against him, whining at the feeling of his clothed cock twitching in his tight dress pants. You pouted.

"Only if you take something off too, daddy."

Aaron chuckled as he leaned down to kiss your forehead before he slowly unbuttoned his black dress shirt, revealing the plains of his broad chest and slightly soft stomach to you. You couldn't help but follow his hands as they moved down, zeroing in on the thick, dark hair of his happy trail which poked out the top of his trousers. Faded pink scars from Foyet littered his torso, your chest tightening at the sight of them. Shakily, you reached out with your hands to press against his skin, hot to the touch. He was shaking ever so slightly.

"You're so beautiful, like...really fucking pretty, sir." You said softly, eyes slowly drifting up to his face when he let out a chuckle.

"Pretty girl, tonight is about you."

You pouted.

"You deserve to feel desired and admired too, sir."

He smiled gently, leaning down to kiss your lips tenderly. His bare chest was pressed against yours now, a sensation that made you shiver and your inner thighs throb. It was heavenly, he was so heavenly. Reluctantly, he pulled from the kiss and his hands moved to the buckle of his belt, ready to unbuckle it. Your heart leaped, feeling giddy as you moved to kneel up and your hands grabbed his wrists. Aaron raised a brow at you, making your cheeks flush.

"I- please, let me do it for you, daddy." You felt shy about your eagerness, but the look in Aaron's dark eyes made you squirm.

"Aww, my pretty girl wants to help daddy, hm? Well, since you asked so nicely.."

He dropped his hands now, letting you remove his expensive belt. Your hands trembled when your eyes flicked to the bulge straining against the zipper, your mind finally catching up with you. You were a couple garments of clothing away from seeing your boss' cock, something you'd only thought about in passing or dreamt about many times. But now... Now you were going to see it, touch it, feel it inside you. Maybe one day he would let you taste-

"Sweetheart? We don't need to do this if you're not comfortable." Aaron's voice brought you back to the present, gentle and reassuring and a little concerned. You blinked, then realised you'd been staring for a moment too long.

"O-oh! No, I want to! I, uhm, I got lost in thought. I didn't expect my night to go this way." You said sheepishly, gripping onto the waistband of the black dress pants. "N-not that this is bad! I'm actually embarrassed to admit this but I've only really dreamed about this happening so..."

You glanced away, cheeks feeling flushed and you slumped back a little bit, missing the way Aaron's eyes followed the movement of your body and the jiggle of your breasts.

"Oh? You've dreamt about me, have you? Dirty girl. You'll have to tell me about these dreams another time." He teased you, causing you to clench your thighs together. He took your hands and moved them to the zipper and catch on his trousers with a smirk. "Come now, sweetheart. You know what you want to do."

You bit your lip, humming quietly and your fingers worked quickly, albeit clumsily to unfasten the trousers. Aaron was more than eager helping you ease them down his hips, revealing more of that delicious happy trail and then you were face to face with his straining black boxers. You couldn't stop the whimper from bubbling out of your throat at the sight of a damp patch of precum in the fabric where the tip of his cock was, feeling shy but eager you were the reason for it. You wanted a taste, needed it, but as you leaned down to press your lips to the fabric Aaron moved his hips away, chuckling when you whined.

"Sweet girl, I'll let you have a taste next time. Tonight is about you, though." He cooed, cupping your cheeks and stroking his thumbs against them. You straightened up again to press your lips to his, hips swaying as his clothed cock slipped between your thighs snugly and rubbed against your tingling clit. His hands trailed down your shoulders and smoothed round to your ass, encouraging you to roll your hips into him. He moaned into the kiss, squishing your ass cheeks tightly. You could feel his cock twitching against you, making you shiver.

Aaron's fingers curled around the band of your panties and you squeaked, feeling his mouth smirk against yours. Carefully, he slipped them down your trembling thighs and helped you pull them off your legs. You let out a jittery breath, now completely naked before him. He lay you back again and took in your full figure, breathing heavily with a rumble deep in his chest. You bit your lip, tempted to cover yourself up with your arms.

"W-what- do you think?" You asked meekly, nervousness beginning to seep into you. He knelt between your thighs and stroked the skin soothingly again.

"Sweetheart, you're breathtaking. I could worship you all night if you'd let me, help you realise just how sexy you are." His words made you blush and slick to trickle out of your pussy. Your hands moved to cover your face, a high-pitched whine escaping you.

"Shush! You're making my brain feel fuzzy!"

You let out a cry when one of Aaron's hands lightly slapped your thigh, pressing his crotch up against your slit.

"Little girl, don't be a brat now. Daddy wants to make you feel good but he'll have to punish you if you're naughty." He hissed, gripping your thighs and squishing the flesh of them sensually. "Now, let daddy see your pretty little pussy."

You whimpered but didn't resist when he slowly spread your legs, revealing your puffy pussy to him. He hummed as his eyes trailed over the slick folds, smirking slightly when they twitched involuntary.

"So pretty, just like the rest of you." He murmured, hands creeping closed to your slit until he thumbs were able to pull the dewy lips apart, exposing your hole and clit to him. You couldn't take it anymore.

"Please..."

He raised a brow at you, the smirk only growing on his handsome face.

"Please what? You need to tell daddy what you want."

You wiggled your hips, inching closer to his bulge and moaned.

"Please touch my pussy, daddy! Need it so bad, want daddy inside me."

Aaron groaned, leaning down to press a rough kiss to your mouth and your hips jolted when you felt the fingers of his left hand slide against your slit directly, coating themselves in your slick juices.

"Fuck, you're going to be the death of me, sweetheart." He growled. You jolted again as his wet fingers brushed over your clit, gasping out when he swirled the digits around the sensitive bud.

The fingers moved further down, teasing your entrance and then he slipped his middle finger inside your tight walls, slowly thrusting it in and out. He hummed, his other hand grasping one of your nipples and pinching, kneading, melding it. His ring finger slipped inside you next, stretching you out more as he scissored the two fingers. He plunged them as deep as they could go until you were able to feel the back of his other fingers against you.

"Mmmh... So big..." You moaned, eyes fluttering shut as Aaron fingerfucked you gently. He chuckled.

"Daddy has to make sure you're prepped for his cock, sweetheart."

The fingers curled upwards inside, feeling around until you cried out, eyes blowing wide from the intense sensation that burned within.

"F-fuck!"

Aaron didn't let up, thrusting and curling his fingers into the same spot, coaxing moans and whines from you. His hand picked up speed, the sticky sounds of your slick entered your ears but you were too hazy to be embarrassed. The pleasurable burn within your lower abdomen only intensified as his hand slapped against your pussy, the palm bumping your clit. You tried to scrunch your eyes shut, but the twist of your nipple shocked you to keep them open.

"Eyes on me, sweetheart. Let daddy see you when you cum." Aaron commanded, his dark eyes ablaze with desire as your moans pitched higher and your hips rolled into his hand. It was all too much then, your eyes rolled back and with a cry of his name you cummed hard, clenching around his fingers as slick gushed out of you. His fingers didn't let up, prolonging your orgasm and making your legs shake. When your body began to spasm the fingers slowed down, sliding out of you carefully and letting you have a moment of reprieve. Your chest heaved, your eyes fluttered shut as you slowly came down from the mind-numbing pleasure.

"Good girl, such a good girl. You looked so beautiful cumming for daddy." You heard Aaron groan in his sensually deep voice, causing a smile to grace your lips. Your heart was racing, slowly calming down as you lay there and distantly you could hear rustling of fabric and feel the mattress moving beneath you.

But then you opened your eyes wide when you felt something smooth but unfamiliar touch your chest and you gasped when you realised what it was.

"A-Aaron?" You squeaked. Trailing across your skin in Aaron's hand was the fucking remote control vibrator. He chuckled quietly as he circled one of your nipples with it.

"I thought we could make use of it. You don't know how much I've been thinking about this little thing ever since I found it in the suitcase." He eyed you, stilling the movement with a slight crease in his brow. "If you're comfortable with this, of course."

You barely managed to nod at him and bit your lip, letting it slowly slip through your teeth.

"Mhm I would, daddy. Please." You whined, rolling your hips and gasping when you felt flesh instead of fabric against your mound. You didn't know how you'd not noticed his boxers had been removed and now your eyes focused on the deliciously girthy cock at the base of Aaron's dark pubic hair. It was lengthy as well and slightly curved upwards, with prominent veins trailed across the flushed shaft. "O-oh fuck, you're so big, daddy!"

Aaron hummed and moved the vibrator to swirl around one of your nipples, not switched on yet still.

"Little girl, now you see why daddy needed to prep you, huh?"

Your drooling hole clenched in anticipation and you reached to grasp his thighs as best you could.

"Mmmh, daddy please..." You mewled rolling your hips desperately. He smirked and the vibrator came to life. You gasped out again and thrust your chest out towards him, the vibrations against your nipple sending pleasure straight down to your lower abdomen.

"Does my sweet girl need daddy's cock inside her?" Aaron placed the small remote down beside him and grasped his length and stroked the tip around your swollen clit and you moaned softly, hands slipping from his thighs to grip onto the bedsheets.

"Please fuck me, daddy! Need to feel you inside mmh.." you begged him and spread your legs wider, so eager for him. A low groan vibrated through Aaron's throat as he leaned down to press a hungry kiss to your throat.

"I don't have a condom, I didn't really expect to need one." He admitted softly. You wrapped your arms around his body and angled your hips upwards.

"I'm clean, on the pill as well."

Another kiss to your throat, then Aaron was pulling away to tease the tip of his cock against your hole. You shivered, gazing up at him through slightly hazy eyes.

"Y-you really want to...yknow..." You trailed off, not wanting to say it. He stilled, tilting his head slightly.

"Of course I want this with you, sweetheart. We'll take it slow, but I promise you I want this so much." Aaron soothed you and you felt a wave of emotion wash over you, tears prickling in your eyes.

"Okay, I believe you."

He smiled softly, before the seductive smirk returned and you could feel a little pressure against your hole.

"Daddy's going to fuck you now, sweet girl. Try and stay relaxed for me, yeah?"

Slowly, inch by inch, you felt the tip of his cock pop inside your clenching hole and both of you gasped at the sensation. Fuck, he was already stretching you wide and this was only the tip. There was a slight burn accommodating the stretch as he slowly slid inside, the veins of his cock teasing you and making you moan softly.

"F-fuck!" You cried out when eventually his hips met yours, his big cock bottoming out inside you. You could feel it twitching.

"Oh, sweet girl. You're squeezing around me so tight." Aaron hissed through gritted teeth. His body was trembling slightly, struggling to maintain control all because of you. He moved the vibrator down your body from your breast and pressed it to your clit. You moaned at the new feeling of being stimulated whilst stuffed with cock, admittedly helping with the pain of the stretch until the discomfort faded, leaving behind a need.

"P-please, please move, daddy..."

Painfully slowly, Aaron pulled his cock out until only the tip remained, before thrusting his hips forward and bottoming out again. You gasped out, eyes blown wide and your hips bucked upwards. He groaned, repeatedly thrusting his cock in and out slowly now.

"Good girl, you're doing so well for me. You feel so good, so wet and soft."

His pace quickened, as did the vibrations of the toy against your clit and you whined, hands moving to cup your breasts and pulling at your nipples. Aaron swore, thrusting roughly when he watched your hands move.

"Fucking good girl, show daddy how you like your pretty tits being touched." He growled, holding the vibrator more firmly against you and with his free hand he grabbed your thigh to press it down into the bed. You matched the movement of your hips to his and continued stimulating your nipples.

"Y-you're so deep inside me, daddy! So big!" You wailed with every thrust, your moans and whimpers growing louder and louder. He growled again, thrusting faster still until you felt yourself closer and closer to cumming again. Aaron knew from the clenching of your walls around his cock, his mouth falling open slightly.

"Are you going to cum again, huh? Gonna cum for daddy again?"

You nodded as you moaned loudly, eyes unseeing as your mind grew hazy with pleasure.

"Yes! Gonna cum! Please let me cum!"

With a harsh few more thrusts stimulating your nerves you cried out loud, eyes focused on Aaron's as you cummed hard, slick dripping onto the bedsheets and coating his cock. You felt so twitchy but Aaron didn't let up, thrusting into you still but moving the vibrator down closer to where you body met his. It was unmoving at this point, however.

"That's it, such a good girl. Daddy wants to try one more thing though," he grunted with the force of his thrusts. You were bordering the line between cumming again and overstimulation, the removal of the vibrations holding you on the verge.

"Do whatever y-you want to me, daddy-" you choked out. You didn't care what he did, you trusted him. Wanted him to play your body in any way he wished at this point. And so when you felt him slow his thrusts down so he could slip in a finger inside you alongside his cock you whined loudly. The finger was gone after a moment, but you hadn't the time to protest when the vibrator replaced his finger, slipping inside you along the top of his cock until it was nestled against the spongy spot on the roof of your hole.

Your eyes widened, a broken moan tumbling from your mouth. Holy fuck, you didn't expect this from your boss of all people. And yet that made it all the more erotic to you. Aaron switched the vibrator back on and he thrusted roughly, teeth gritted and his body shuddering.

"Fuck, this thing is more strong than I expected-" he gritted, holding back from fucking into you again whilst he adjusted to the sensation of the vibrations stimulating him as well. You giggled, only to be cut off when he intentionally thrust forward. "Brat."

Gradually, he picked the pace up again and you became a writhing mess beneath him, moaning and pleading him to move deeper, faster. Aaron gripped your thighs now, both hands free to manhandle you. He pulled your legs up and pressed your knees to your chest, the new angle making your eyes roll back and your pussy to gush.

You were close, and you knew Aaron was reaching his own orgasm at this point with the ferocity of his cock fucking into you. You moved your hand to rub your clit rapidly, your noises pitching higher as you cried his name over and over.

"A-Aaron, I'm gonna cum! Gonna cum- oh!" You wailed, Aaron groaned as he pressed his lips to yours messily, hips stuttering slightly.

"So am I, sweetheart. Want me to pull out?"

"No!" You cried, eyes flicking to his as you grabbed him with the hand that wasn't rubbing your clit. "Want your cum inside me, please!"

It was enough to send you both over the edge, Aaron bottomed out as your back arched, breasts thrust up to his chest as your orgasm ripped through you violently. You heard him moan your name as his cock twitched inside you, ropes and ropes of his cum spurting out inside your clenched pussy. His hand clumsily fumbled for the remote and the vibrations stopped, allowing you both to slowly calm down. Aaron pulled the toy out of you, dropping it onto the bed next to you and made a move to roll off you. You whined in protest, wrapping your limbs around him and pulling him down to lay on top of you, his softening cock still inside.

"Stay..." You mumbled softly. Aaron hummed and kissed you, cupping your cheeks.

"Good girl, are you okay?" He whispered, pulling back just enough to smile at you. You smiled in return, eyes fluttering shut.

"Never felt better, Aaron."

"Good, I'm gonna need to clean you up now though, okay? Need to make sure you're okay."

You pouted, but knew he was right. Still...

"Just a moment more, please?" You opened one eye to look at him, at his beautiful smile. He chuckled and sighed.

"Alright. Only for a moment. Then when I've cleaned you up I'll be right back to cuddle you."

You were beaming now, feeling the happiest you'd been in a long time.

"Promise?"

"Promise. I do have to ask though," Aaron gazed down at you and you raised a brow, prompting him to continue. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

You squeaked and moved your hand to cover your eyes whilst you giggled.

"Yes! I'd love nothing more."

Things would be okay, you just knew it.

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

There was a change in you the next day, everyone could see it. You were so...cheery, a pep in your step as you boarded the plane with the others. You sat down at the table and curled up on the seat, a giddy smile twitching at the corner of your lips. Derek raised a brow.

"You're pretty happy this morning, sugar." He said. You grinned at him.

"I guess I am."

"Any reason as to why?" Emily cut in, smirking at you. At that moment Aaron approached the seat next to you and sat down, sending you a soft smile with a raised brow and you had to hold back a giggle, looking away from him.

"Nope." You responded. Under the table Aaron took hold of your hand and squeezed. You'd never expected an undercover job as intense as this would result in a new chapter in your life, but you wouldn't change a single thing.

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑

And that's it! Thank you all so, so much for joining me for this lil series 😭💖 it's been a hell of a time writing it but it was so much fun! I really hope you all enjoyed this final installment 🥺🥺💖💖

Taglist: @cr1minalskies @modern-mermaid @aaronhotchnersgirlfriend @aaronhotchswife @emptybagofchips77 @crimeshowjunkie @igotanidea @gogococopuffs @prentissesredtanktop @louderfortheback @howabouticallyou @lalalove-56 @abbyschmaby @constantwritingblock @boredelle @powerlvr25 @aad199 @idkbubs @mrs-ssa-hotch @emptybagofchips77 @justarandommom @yourmomsmilfmistress @bellagomez-barriga @jesuisbenny @nplumb22 @supercriminalbean @elijahmikaelsonbitch @wowzabowza69 @frostingway @simpingfortoomanypeople @munsonsposts @marvelsmistress @babezawa @spenciesprincess @creepysweetie @bruhhvv @regulus-black-223048 @brasspistol @0nex-is-dead0 @livingdeadmak @myescapefromthislife @sebastiansstanswhore @bumblebea-xo @hangmandruigandmav @sareim123122 @magical-spit

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotch fanfiction #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x reader fanfiction #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x reader smut #aaron hotchner x plus size reader #aaron hotchner smut #hotch smut #aaron hotch smut #smut #nsfw.#a writes

410 notes · View notes

gamma-rae-bursts · 1 year

Text

It Was Night When You Died, My Firefly

Emily died exactly 7 months ago and your life is not the same without her.

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader

Content Warnings: major character death, SUICIDE, graphic descriptions of death and early decomposition, mourning, substance abuse and OD, gore, flies.

Genre: Heavy Angst

Word Count: 2200+

A/N: This one can be really heavy and is definitely not directed towards all audiences. Please only read it if you are absolutely sure that you can handle the content described in the warnings. The plot loosely inspired by the song "Fourth of July", which never fails to make me sob uncontrollably. A big thank you to my dearest @nightmarish-fae for brainstorming this idea with me. Contains canon dialogue from Season 7 Episode 1 "It Takes a Village".

-7th of October -

You stared out of your apartments’ window, your gaze not focused on anything in particular, as the sun began to set. The city was slowly drowning in darkness in preparation for the upcoming night. You watched as the streets began to empty, leaving lifeless trails of souls previously wandering there. Your mind was numb, heavy and you could feel the last pieces of your heart and soul shattering with every passing second. Emily was gone. The love of your life was taken away from you exactly seven months ago, leaving you in an empty apartment only filled with occasional meows. But even they faded as the time passed.

The pain in your heart only worsened, the never-ending ache accompanied you wherever you went, whatever you did. The tightness in your chest becoming unbearable and nothing seemed to settle it. There was nothing that could fill the ever-spreading emptiness within you, nothing that could aid the slow decay of your body still filled with life.

The horizon spreading ahead of your eyes was now completely overtaken by night with only the weak light of lanterns desperately trying to break it. But you knew this light could only go so far, ultimately losing the battle.

You closed your eyes as you slowly lowered yourself onto the floor feeling the same darkness overtake your own body, just as weak as the streetlights spread across the city. Laying down on the cold tiles of your living room, although the name did not suit it anymore, was the loneliest you have ever felt, knowing that the only person who made your life worth living was now buried in the cold soil of Washington DC, her lifeless body slowly rotting away. You shed a tear at the thought of what would be left of the beauty you once held so close to you, of the woman you still held in your heart. You knew that a part of you died with Emily, and tonight, you were ready to let the rest of you die with her too.

You didn’t leave a letter, there was nothing to say. The team wouldn’t ever understand the suffering you were enduring every single day. Each time you put a mask on, pretending everything was alright and you’re getting better, when in reality you were further and further away from the light.

They moved on from Emily.

Hotch and Rossi didn’t shed a single tear, Morgan was angry, but the anger passed with time. JJ was composed and quiet, which was infuriating at times. Penelope tried to talk to you, coming over a few times and then you saw her sadness filled eyes regain that spark they once held. And then there was Spencer, with who you spent countless evenings, listening to him sob over the loss of his raven-haired friend. But even Spencer moved on.

They would move on from you too.

You lifted yourself from the floor, gently stroking Sergio’s fur as he jumped into your embrace, “Don’t worry buddy, I’ve re-filled your water and food, it will take you at least 3 days to get through that so please save me for later, if nobody comes here you’re allowed to feast.” you silently chuckled as you continued stroking the black cat. “I’m sure Penelope will be more than happy to let you live with her, you know she’s got a soft spot for you” you added in a whisper as he jumped off of you, disappearing somewhere in the other room.

You walked through your dark apartment, not bothered to light any of the rooms up, slowly approaching the kitchen. You reached and opened one of the cabinets, taking the bottle of whisky you were gifted by Rossi on your last year’s birthday. You didn’t dare to open it until now after googling the price of the liquor, but the Italian man swears that Macallan is worth it.

As you headed towards your bedroom you picked up two polaroid photos that were standing framed on your kitchen counter. One of you and Emily that Penelope took during one of the nights out with the team, right after the two of you announced to everyone that you were together. You remember that moment in great detail, Emily’s hands quickly cupping your face and bringing you in for a deep, passionate kiss as the blonde woman snatched the picture, making this moment last forever. The second one was of Emily smiling in your direction as you entered your shared kitchen the day after the two of you moved in together, the warmth of her smile aching in your heart every time you remembered the sacred moments you have shared with her.

You made your way to the bedroom you once shared with the raven-haired woman, making sure to not fully shut the door. You pulled out a box of paracetamol as you laid down in the middle of the king-sized mattress. You made yourself comfortable as your preceded to ingest your poison one by one.

Closing your eyes, you only thought of Emily holding the two photos to your heart, how much closer to her you already felt. You wondered who would be the one to find you, would anyone even notice you were gone? When would the first flies arrive to colonise your lifeless remains? You thought of all the changes that your body would endure in the next days, would anyone recognise you? But none of that mattered, you were going to your Emily, to the only woman you have ever loved.

As you laid in your bed, you finally felt a sense of peace knowing you’ve almost reached the end of this journey. A stray tear escaped your eye as you prayed to any higher power to reunite you with your lover. Your consciousness started slipping away taking your vision with it. The physical pain was nothing to you, not after the agony of the past seven months. Your breaths became shallower and with your last heartbeat, just as the capital started filling with the light of dawn, the life slowly left you.

-8th of October-

As the night fades away and the darkness recedes Washington DC awakens to a new date. The streets start filling with the souls that left them empty the day before. The sunlight filling every available crease. People continuing their daily routines without a second thought, with their unchanged lives. The early morning air was crisp, filling everyone with life.

This day started without you, the sun still woke up, so did the birds, but you remained still as death took over your body and began consuming your tissues. Your muscles still occasionally twitching ridding of the remnants of the electrical energy in your nervous system. Your skin gradually freeing itself of the colour that was once present, as a result of the lack of circulating oxygen. Your eyes remained closed, not allowing any discoloration to occur.

The BAU began their day as usual, the agents starting to gather in the bullpen. Penelope slowly sipping on her coffee, teasing Morgan about something he said the day before. Everyone is yet to notice your absence as they gather in the conference room one by one.

“Welcome back” Morgan’s voice breaks the silence as he sees Hotch entering the room.

“Thanks. Everybody please take a seat.” the other agent replies in a stern tone.

“Why? What’s going on, everything alright?” Derek questions, not giving into Hotch’s authority

Taking a deep breath, the unit chief begins to speak “7 months ago I made a decision that affected this team.As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle.” The man continues with all eyes focused on him; various expression’s painting the other agents’ faces. “But the doctors were able to stabilizeher. And she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert exfiltration. Her identity was strictly need-to-know. And she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for her security.”

“She’s alive?” Penelope questioned as she couldn’t believe the newly introduced information.

“But we buried her?” Spencer whispered; his voice filled with newly emerging pain and disbelief.

The eyes of the other agents now piercing through Hotch, as he continues to speak “As I said I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be directed towards me.”

“Any issues?” Morgan raises his voice simultaneously getting closer to the other man “Yeah, I got issues!”

“Oh, my God” Penelope’s soft voice breaks the argument between the two agents.

Emily was standing in the door, just as beautiful and alive as ever. “I am so sorry, I really am” the raven-haired woman begins to speak as she looks around the conference room, her eyes trying to find you amongst the other agents “Where is y/n?”

“Uh, she should be here by now, maybe she’s running late?” JJ implied as she reached to her back pocket and pulled out her cell phone. “I’ll give her a call; she would most definitely not want to miss this.” the blonde added with a smile receiving one in return form Emily.

Your number was dialled multiple times, each one resulting in an automated response from your voicemail. The worry started to spread across the agents as each one of them tried reaching your phone, none of them successful.

Minutes passed with no response from you and Penelope was instructed to track your phone, or it’s last known location as the unsuccessful attempts in contacting you meant that the device was most likely switched off.

The blonde returned to the team withing a few minutes, lacking the usual for her energy that was now replaced by worry. Your phone was off for more than 10 hours, the last signal from it pinging off of the tower right next to your apartment.

Everyone rushed out of the building and headed towards your home not knowing what to expect. In an attempt to calm their racing thoughts everyone started bouncing ideas off of one another as to what would be the reason for your absence. Maybe you just forgot to charge your phone before you went to sleep? Or simply switched it off and took a little break from the world, everyone needed that once in a while.

Nothing could prepare them for what they would find once they entered the apartment.

Emily was the first one to go in, the place she once inhabited remained the same, perfectly tidied, just like she always liked it. The team followed behind her, letting the woman take the lead.

Sergio did not waste a second and jumped into the dark-haired woman’s embrace, happy to have his human back home. “Hey bud, where’s y/n/n?” she questioned him softly as he meowed in response and snuggled further into her “Yes I know I missed you too, but I’ve got to say hi to her now.”

“y/n/n?” Emily called out into the darkness as she stepped further into the apartment, “y/n/n, honey, it’s me, where are you?”

The space was consumed by the uneasy silence only broken by the carefully placed footsteps. There was a certain heaviness to the air filling the agents’ lungs. The tightness sin her chest only progressed as she was met with no response from you.

She walked around the apartment looking for any other sign of life when she reached the bedroom door, she hesitantly pushed it, allowing it to open and expose the space to her sight.

You were still laying in the middle of the mattress, holding the pictures of her closely to your heart. “y/n/n?” she almost whispered as the sight of your unmoving body filled her eyes, the empty bottles of Macallan and pills resting on the bedside table. She rushed to your side as the realisation of what has occurred just a few hours prior to her arrival hit her.

“Oh my god, she’s here!” the raven-haired woman shouted to the rest of the team as she quickly approached your side, shaking your body in a desperate attempt to wake you. “No no y/n!” she sobbed as the tears filled her eyes, the other team members gathering around her. She checked your pulse, the last strings of hope she held ripped away from her as she didn’t find any sign of a heartbeat. The minutes that followed were filled with desperate screams and attempts to bring you back to life. The paramedics arrived at the scene within what seemed like a split second, announcing your death upon arrival.

“Emily” one of the agents dared to break her out of this spiral she fell into, not wanting to give you up “Emily, she’s gone” the pain filled voice sounded again, it was JJ speaking, her eyes filled with tears as the words were leaving her mouth.

Emily held you in her arms, not willing to let you go, feeling the still-present warmth of your freshly deceased body. The tears were streaming down her face as she held you close to herself, already feeling the effects of rigor taking control of your lifeless muscles. Not willing to let you go.

***

If you ever find yourself in a very dark place please do not hesitate to reach out for help. You're a piece of art and this world would not be the same without your presence <3

***

taglist:

@nightmarish-fae @inlovewithmiddleagewomen

join my taglist here!

#emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss

200 notes · View notes

bisexualunicronrunningloose · 9 months

Text

Criminal Minds - Resurrection

Reid x fem!reader (previous relationship, broke up sometime after Emily died, takes place during and after season 7 episode 1, so there will be spoilers)

Y/N POV

“Seven months ago I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle. But the doctors were able to stabilise her. And she was air lifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert ex filtration. Her identity was strictly need to know.” Hotch spoke to the room.

“She’s alive,” Pen asked in shock.

“But we buried her.” Spencer said confused.

“As I said I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues they should be directed towards me.”

“Any issues? Yeah I got issues” Morgan said in a mixture of shock and anger.

Just then you saw Emily walk in�� alive.

“Oh my….god,” you said under your breath. You looked over at Morgan he looked just if not more shocked than you. He had been there when Emily had been attacked.

“I am so sorry. I really am. Not a day went by that I didn’t want to … Really I. You didn’t deserve that. And I’m so sorry” Emily said.

Everyone was getting up and hugging her. You briefly meet eyes with Spencer and he looked surprised. The only other person besides Hotch that didn’t look surprised was JJ… had she known? Did she help get Emily out and into hiding? You gave Emily a very tight hug.

“I missed you so much” she whispered in your ear.

“I missed you more” you whispered back.

“There’s so much I want to tell you guys, and I will I promise. But right now I really want to know what’s going on with Declan.” Emily said.

Your mind still was reeling from the fact that Emily was alive and with you all again. The last seven months had been an emotional rollercoaster. You had buried one of your own teammates, you had cried for what had felt like days and had to deal with the fact the team downsized. Spencer had begun to pull away about a month afterwards until one day you had enough and confronted him about it.

“Have a good evening at JJ’s?” You asked from where you were sitting on his couch not looking up from the book you had been reading.

“What are you doing here?” He asked closing the door with a thud and kicking off his shoes

“Seriously?” you asked putting a bookmark in the book before closing it and placing it on the coffee table.

“Yeah… it’s late. What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you,” you said looking at him, had he really forgotten that the two of you had made plans to stay in tonight and watch something?

“Why?”

“Because we had plans Spencer. This is the third time you’ve bailed on me and each time it’s because you’ve been at JJ’s.” you said getting up from the couch and coming face to face with him.

“We have plans for Wednesday. Anyway JJ has been helping me with dealing with the loss of Emily”

“Today is Wednesday Spencer. I tried calling you but you didn’t pick up your phone. I was worried about you, I didn’t know where you were or if something happened to you, if you were hurt. The only reason how I knew where you were was because JJ called after you left and asked if everything was ok,because she had overheard our plans the other day. Anyway it’s late, I cooked it’s on your counter in some containers if want to heat it up.” You said grabbing your bag and heading for the door.

“Where are you going?” Spencer said grabbing your wrist.

“I’m going home. Like I said it’s late, I’ll see you at work in the morning”

“Please stay. I.. I’m sorry I got the days mixed up. Just please stay the night y/n, you can borrow my old shirt from MIT. We could still watch something or I could read to you. Just please stay.” He spoke grabbing your elbow and slowing you as you opened the door, you froze he sounded so sad and tired and your heart ached whenever you heard him like that all you wanted to do was turn around and hold him in your arms. You closed the door and turned around and faced him.

“Why don’t you talk to me?” You asked trying not to sound desperate and frustrated.

“Talk to you about what?” He asked he sounded genuinely confused, for a genius he really could be an idiot at times.

“About Emily, about how her loss has affected you. I’m right here, why do you go to JJ and not me” you say with tears in your eyes. You had stood there waiting for his answer for what felt like an eternity…

He never answered your question he had just stood there looking at you as you shook your head and left his apartment saying you’d see him in the morning in a defeated tone. A week later Spencer had broken up with you, he hadn’t given you a proper excuse. All he had said was that it wasn’t working anymore and that you just didn’t understand his friendship with JJ. It had been awkward at first for you, but for Spencer, it was as if nothing had ever happened between the two of you he completely ignored your existence unless you were paired together on a case, which didn’t happen often as you would work with Rossi most of the time. But when the team downsized this was harder to do. You spent most of your time out of the office with Penelope who had taken in Emily’s cat.

“Y/N? You ok?” Garcia asked pulling you from your thoughts.

“Why wouldn’t I be Pen? Emily is alive” you said

“You’ve been staring at that paper for ages,” she said pointing to the document in front of you a list of names Doyle had given Emily. A list of names of people who Declan’s mum, Chole and McDermott might give Declan to for money. The next question was where would McDermott and Chole escape and how. You hoped Emily would be able to get the information out of Doyle.

“Right, I think I’m going to get a coffee to try and wake up a bit.” You said shaking your head and yawning “maybe the caffeine will help”. You entered the small kitchenette and saw Spencer pouring himself a mug of coffee. Even though it had been months since he had broken up with you your heart still leapt out of your chest whenever you saw him.

“There enough for one more cup?” You asked slowly walking over and grabbing a mug from the cupboard.

“Uhh… yeah here,” he said handing you the pot.

“Thanks,” you said taking it from him.

“So…” he started

“Did you know?” You asked putting the coffee pot down after filling up your mug.

“That Emily was alive? No” he interrupted

“No.. not that. Your face when she walked it made it pretty obvious that you didn’t. No I was wondering if you knew Morgan never stopped looking for Doyle and Declan” you asked opening the fridge to get some milk.

“Ohh… that. No I had no idea” he said handing you some caramel syrup that you always put in your coffee.

“How.. how have you been?” He asked nervously

“Don’t act like you suddenly care Spencer. It’s hurtful. And you are many things and hurtful is not one of them.” You reply putting the caramel syrup back.

“I do care,” he said

“Right, well you have a funny way of showing it.” You spoke a little harsher than you had intended but with the stress of the case, you didn’t care. Just then Emily came in.

“We have a lead.” Emily said.

“You’ve found where Chole is headed?” Reid asked.

“Possibly but we need to move fast. Meet down in the garage as soon as you can we are going to the airfield” Emily said leaving the two of you alone again.

Nodding your head you put your coffee mug down and began heading out of the kitchenette. Spencer grabbed your elbow.

“What!?” You snapped

“Can we talk?”

“Now? Are you serious? A kid is missing and there are at least two murderers on the run. And you think now is a good time to talk?” You speak just above a whisper

“I meant after… after we save Declan and catch Chole and McDermott. Can we talk then?” He said staring into your eyes.

“Fine. But you’re buying the coffee” you said.

“Deal,” he said letting go of your arm.

REID POV

They had just left the meeting in front of the Senate Committee to answer questions about Doyle and everyone was heading home. He was standing at the bottom of the steps outside of the building waiting for her. She was talking to Penelope about something, the light breeze causing the skirt of her dress to dance in the wind a little. He was watching her laugh at something, he missed being the one to make her laugh. He missed their late-night talks about shows, movies and books. He missed everything about her.

“Why did you break up with her Reid?” Emily said coming from his side.

“Huh?” He shook his head turning to face her.

“Y/n. I asked her what was going on between the two of you after Doyle. She said that you guys had broken up. I asked her why and she said to ask you because you were the one to end it.”

“Oh. She told you that?” He said looking back up at her and Penelope.

“Yeah, Reid look the two of you… you’re perfect together. I’ve never seen two people be a better fit, you complete each other. I just don’t understand what happened” Emily said.

“You died Em. And then she almost got shot on a case a month afterwards. Everything got too real.” Reid said

“And you broke up with her because… you didn’t want to get hurt” Emily

“Yeah.. something like that. I’ve been trying to figure out for months how to talk to her. And with you coming back. I figured now or never because…”

“It’s better to try than ponder what could have been. And what better excuse to use than the fact that someone coming back from the dead?” Emily finished for him

“Yeah.. we’re going for coffee. I just hope she will hear me out” Reid said as he saw y/n and Penelope say their goodbyes.

“I’ll leave you to it, Reid. Just… be gentle with her when explaining ok. And let her take her time digesting what you tell her.” Emily said as she left. I’ll wait for as long as I have to. She is worth waiting for. He thought to himself as she walked down the steps to meet with him.

“So.. you still good for that coffee and talk?” He asked

“Yeah. I stick to plans that I make. Unless something else comes up then I let the person know ahead of time” she replied. He knew exactly what she was referring to, he had missed three of their dates because he had gone to JJ’s because he was missing Emily and he didn’t know what to do. Thinking back he had not been that great of a boyfriend that last month.

“So which coffee shop did you want to got to then? There’s that nice one around the corner”

“The one with the book store attached to it?” She asked.

“Yeah… or we could go somewhere else if you want,” he said, knowing that had been one of their favourite places to go together when they had a day off.

“No… it’s ok. It’s been a while since I’ve been there” she smiled

With that, they headed over to the coffee shop. Once they got there y/n went to find them a table while he went and got their order. He found her sitting at one of the corner tables waiting for him. He took the seat across from her and handed her a mug and a pastry he had gotten for her.

“Thanks,” she said

“I wasn’t sure if you were hungry after all that questioning.” Reid said

“Like I could say no to a pain au chocolate” she smiled, it wasn’t the same one she used to give him but it was a start. “So you wanted to talk.” She said taking a sip of her drink.

“I owe you an apology and a better explanation,” Reid said. She placed her mug down and looked him in the eyes.

“Go on,” she said

“The explanation I gave you then… it was a shitty one.” He said

“That’s for sure. I just don’t understand why you couldn’t be honest with me if you weren’t happy with the relationship anymore or with me” she said looking down

“That’s … that’s not why. How could you even think that? Of course, I was happy.” He said slowly reaching for her hand and taking it in his. She pulled her hand away.

“Then why break up with me. Why leave me to deal with the grief of losing Em alone. You broke my heart. I … thought you loved me… I thought we would be together forever, Spencer.” She said

“I did it because I love you.” Spencer said

“Clearly not enough to tell me the truth. That month between Em and you breaking up with me, it felt like your were spending more time with JJ than with me. And before you say anything, I know how close the two of you are and that she is one of your closest friends. But Spencer I was your girlfriend, I thought you would at least talk to me or say that you needed to speak with other people to get through whatever it was that you were going through. But I guess I thought more of what our relationship meant than you did.” she said wiping a tear from her eye

“That’s not fair or true” Spencer replied

“Then enlighten me Spencer. Give me a real reason why you ended things. Or why only now are you wanting to talk to me. Because for months you’ve been acting like nothing ever happened between us or that I even exist.”

“I…” Spencer looked down at his mug of coffee.

“Look you’re the one that wanted to talk. So talk because if you are just going to waste my time then I’m going to leave.” She said. A few moments passed, and he heard her sigh and push her chair back to leave.

“It was easier for me… to ignore you and not acknowledge you. Because… I didn’t think I could handle being so close to you and not being with you.” Spencer said finally looking back up. She sat back down and moved the chair back to the small table. She took another sip of her drink and took a bite of her pastry.

“Ok so you ignored me because it was to difficult to be around me. But why break up with me then. Why say it wasn’t working anymore?” She asked

“Because I thought… I thought that would be a good explanation. Just enough for you not to push for more answers and possibly angry enough to not want to talk to me for a while” Spencer said looking at his untouched coffee he took a sip before continuing. “Really it was a selfish excuse. But I felt I couldn’t tell you the real reason because then …” Spencer said his voice cracking.

“Because then what?”

“You would see how weak I was or refuse to listen and stay with me”

“Spencer you are not weak.” She replied taking another bite of her pastry.

“You don’t understand”

“I’m trying to Spencer. But you are not making sense, you still haven’t actually explained why”

“I’m trying too… I just don’t know how to explain it without sounding like an idiot” He said. He saw how she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before returning her gaze to him, she was getting frustrated and was trying her best not to get angry and yell. He had seen her do that countless times on cases.

“Spencer, please I can’t take this anymore, the not knowing why. The questioning of everything I had ever done or said to try and figure out why you would break up with me” She said tears collecting in her eyes.

“I was scared” Reid confessed

“You were scared? Of what” she asked finishing up her drink.

“After Emily, I didn’t want to lose anyone else. It’s just that anyone who is close to me leaves, dies or gets hurt. And when you almost got shot on that case …”

“You broke up with me because you didn’t want to see me get hurt. But Spencer getting hurt is an occupational hazard with our job. You know that better than most of us”

“I know it’s not entirely rational but I just couldn’t risk loosing you.” He said looking down at his drink. She leaned forward and took his hand in hers and gave it a quick squeeze.

“Love makes us act irrationally” she smiled.

He squeezed her hand back and looked at her as she wiped the tears out of her eyes. Before she looked at her watch and frowned.

“What is it? Do you have somewhere else to be?” He asked nervously not wanting to say goodbye to her just yet when they were finally talking about everything.

“No… it’s just I hadn’t realised the time. I was planning on cooking some spaghetti bolognaise tonight and reorganise a few things. But … the reorganising can wait. But if I want to eat dinner at a decent hour I might have to head off soon.” She said looking back at him.

“You’re cooking spaghetti bolognaise tonight?” He said remembering that as one of his favourite meals she used to cook for the two of them.

“Yeah… did you… uh, want to join me? I always make too much. Unless you have other plans?” She asked biting her bottom lip nervously.

“ I would love too… I mean if that’s ok with you” he said.

“I offered Spencer. Why would I offer if I didn’t mean it. Plus this way … we can keep talking and uhh.. I don’t know figure out where we stand now?” She said nervously.

“Yeah” he nodded and they both got up and headed to her apartment

Part two will be posted in a week hopefully (depending how busy I am at work). Let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list.

#fanfic #fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader fic #spencer reid

34 notes · View notes

erinnkenobi · 1 year

Text

Dark horse |chapter two

chapter one - chapter three

Pairing | Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warning | friends to lovers!swearing!trust issues! Spencer is a boobs simp, you can't say otherwise.

Summary | set on season two of Criminal minds

author's note | sorry for the bad English, English is not my mother tongue, I apologise for the misspelt words and beyond.

"In vain I have struggled, it will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." — Jane Austen, pride and prejudice

Rebecca Bryant's case closed — it was her own father with mental problems, you guessed right yet not even knowing his name yet.

P911 case closed - you guessed it right again, it was the supposed father's boy, you thought to yourself, how could a "dad" sell his baby? After this case, you went to the gym and punched uncountable times.

The perfect storm - oh honey! You're the one that couldn't stop cross-looking at the blonde girl, she was BAU unsub, they've let her alone, you talked with Spencer and for less than minutes he linked the dots and told the others who were their dominant, you went for the loo but in a blink of an eye, she ran away this was the same time everyone went crazy. You guessed it right, again.

"So how did you do it? Right about our unsub?"-Hotch questioned and you were all smiley.

"She didn't even was bothered by the victim's pictures behind her and was always looking at her husband, a demanding staring if she was afraid of him after he beat her ass up, she would be trembling and she wasn't."

"That's my child.-Morgan hugged you by the side shoulders making you laugh.

"Doctor Reid will be jealous, that you called me child while it's you who calls him kid".

"Nah, I have now a couple of nerds prodigious kids"

...

When you were left alone with Reid in a room, he seemed stressed as usual as he was thinking about something due to his stressing thoughts.

"What's up to your mind, jealous of me becoming also Morgan's kid? Don't be, I'm a girl and I'll never be the wandering Wikipedia"

"What? No no! Ain't about any of it, but about just one thing, you got the answer before me and nobody agreed on that, even though I should have, sorry."-he awkwardly says.

"No need of any of this mate, but I know you have another doubt, go on."

"It was your paranoia again saying to not believe the supposed victim because of the bruise on her face?"-You chuckle agreeing with his statement.

"Woah, you know me well, yes, we can't just believe in someone just because appears to us as a lost little lamb, but she knew damn well what she was doing, so what's the answer to our riddle today?"

"Beware of a wolf in sheep's clothing – Aesop and Matthew 7:15"-you playfully blinked at him.

"Right, and...?"

"Believe in y/n paranoia, she's 99% right, 1% just in case of minimum doubt"

"That's what friends are for."-you give him a sheepishly grin hugging him givi around his chest, getting him in shock, he didn't hugged ye back, you didn't care at all, the hug sustained for les than 1min.-"Betta go".

And you left him in the room with an astonished state.

Psychodrama case closed – and you nailed it again, although they took time to believe in you, people were killed but now case solved and others survived.

The aftermath – You hates this with all of your heart, you saw agent Elle suffering and you couldn't do anything, you even talked with Morgan and Garcia "She's not right, there's something inside her mind..", yet they told you she would be okay.

Your paranoia disagreed, then you talked alone with Spencer about Elle and he confessed he spoke alone with Elle and he agrees with ye, she wasn't in her right mind, however his statement you told him "No, she's not only at her good mental state Spence, she's hurt, she has a recent wound that hasn't been healed yet, she's traumatised and within this case, she'll have a burnout, she's... Please, I know that everybody doubt and she fake it right, but she can't trick me, I find hard to stare through people's eye, but Elle, I saw something, an anger misty filled with thunderous fear".

No sooner said than done, Elle left without saying goodbye, well, she sent to you a letter explained everything and even apologise for not being able to come, hug you and say goodbye, it would be harder for her if she saw the team.

The Boogeyman case closed – After finding the dairy products inside the refrigerator, the magic lamp above your head popped up like magic. It isn't an adult due to the EpPen found on the table, that person also didn't eat its spinach which you thought to yourself:"only a child would ignore its vegetables, I'd do the same", plus with a clue what you guys found inside the refrigerator,someone else is lactose intolerant and must be..A child, a boy It's a checkmate, you ran to warn the others, Spencer, Gideon and Morgan, but when you walked in Gideon left to attend a call with Hotchner and Spencer was talking with Morgan about Elle, their talk back in Ohio, you knew it.

Now you four were talking about your fears, you laughed when Spencer answers came and you also didn't even flinched with JJ story, you did not believed making her roll her eyes. Then it was your time to tell, what are you fears? What are you afraid about? You answered unbothered:- Dying alone, without no one caring about your death, simple and honest.

Morgan hugged you by your side denying it:-"Oh poor kid! Don't ever think about it."

Spencer says:-"I wouldn't let you, we, we wouldn't let you die alone I-I mean, we care, then it will never happen."— JJ grins sneaky towards Morgan:-"Oh yeah, don't ever think about this, if you died, I think someone would have an heart attack."-Morgan understood her leave, Garcia called so the subject was substituted for another. JJ left the room, so you quickly sat next to Spencer and muttered while Morgan was on his call:–"What do you think? Who's our unsub?"-He look at your face, making you hold off averting his gaze.–"Do you have one already?"-he smiles.—"Yeah, I think...It's a kid, not a grown up man".

Spencer seems so chill about it:-I don't doubt you, but let's Morgan finish his call and tell him what you think.

–Do you really think he will.. Believe me? When I always say my guess, the team always tell me to hold on until we've got all the right clues and answers.

– I do, I do believe in you, your guesses lead my way of thinking, you let the knots freely flying on the air and then I...-Morgan interrupts Spencer.

–Call Gideon, we just found our unsub.-Morgan glares is darker.

So you all take your leave, you're the one calling Gideon, Spencer asks who's the unsub.

– The school counselor, right above my nose, were heading to his house.

Then Spencer realised, when Morgan arrest the unSub, he might not be the one, his son, easy to way to win the other children trust.

The following step you guys catched the school counselor, he had the red cap in his hold, yet you stood with your mindset, checkmate baby, it isn't the father, its his son and you guys would waste time with his interrogation.

You were around a corner thinking about your team next move, when you tried to alert 'em they were already wasting their time with the father, you didn't wanted to bother Gideon's call, Morgan was in the interrogation room, when JJ appeared all worried followed by Spencer, okay, a hint of jealousy.

– The boy never went to school.

Ok, now you'll leave, you'll bring your dog, Nala and in this case you begged Hotch to bring it with you, right decision girl.

Before your leave, Spencer holds your wrist.

–Where are you going??-he quickly says with a curious and worried countenance.

–Find them, you can they the others, I heard about the school bus route, I'll just bring something or..-you widen your smile.- Someone, I'll catch you up.

– Can I go with...-Gideon call you two, Spencer grunts letting go of your wrist gently.–Go on, I'll tell him.

– You deserve another hug.-you leave him without thinking twice, you did not saw his face but his cheeks were reddening.

So as you thought you all were at the playground, Nala was with you and after finding a girl's backpack, Nala smelled it you guys waste no time running after your girl, from a distance with wide eyes the ginger boy was ready to whack the girl with a baseball bat!

Thanks god your dog jumped right at the boy's hand that holds the bat.

–Nala!-your dog is unwilling to let go of the boy arm,

if wasn't for Gideon's hold, for godforsaken, the boy wouldn't have his right hand anymore.

The little girl hops on your arms, gripping hands tightening around your shoulders and neck, she was scared to death. You gently pat her backs.

Nala right next to ye leg, sitting as a well behaved princess.

The Boogeyman case is closed. Unfortunately Spencer and all your teammates seems sad, its about Elle, and you heard Morgan giving Spence a advice also heard Gideon's call with Hotchner, Elle did mot admitted anything and you mentally agreed with Elle actions, might be wrong? According to this country laws, yes, according with your humans being guts? No.

After all this mess, you're with your dog at home when you hear a knock-knock.

You did not open, until Reid voice came out.

– It's me, It's Spencer Reid, Doctor Spencer Reid and I work at BAU with you, you told me we're best friends.- he means "best-friends" with a strange tone, hm. You open the door.

– Come in please, you know, if you weren't Spencer, Nala would jump on you and destroy your pretty face, is momma wrong sweetie?-you say the last part with a baby talk tone, making Spencer smile, Nala barked as a reply.-Told ya.-you close the door.– So, why such illustrious presence is doing at my house, to whom do I owe the honour? Did Gideon or Hotchner send you to warn me to not bring Nala into anymore cases?

– Oh no, otherwise, they're okay with Nala and she did a great work, besides the bite, a win is a win,but hm, you know, I'm not here for this.-he wags his hands that were carrying supermarket bags, he bought and brought things, but for what reason?

Straight to the epidural point, he's here because he wanted to see you again, since the last visit he wasn't able to come any longer thanks to BAU's cases, an alert and all of you need to leave your houses and fly away to wherever you need.

Howbeit he wouldn't tell the truth reason of his visit.

– What are those?

– Food?-he says with a confused look, which makes you grin.

– Okay, but for what? It's past dinnertime and I see that you're, how can I tell..-you stare with no shame at his figure.-You don't seem to eat much, mainly at night.

He scoffs at your statement, seriously, are you profiling him right now?

– Aren't you profiling me, are you?-He puts the bags on your isle kitchen table with only two seats, he notices that you ain't a huge fan of inviting people in, he can't really judge your.

– Sorry not sorry.-you follow him standing by his side with curious eyes.– What have you bought?

– Hm, coffee bags, noodles, two sodas, chips and yogurt, I didn't bought any ice cream because the distance from the supermarket until your house would melt it

–Thanks, but you will eat all these snacks with me? Right?

– Sure, if I weren't I wouldn't brought a pair and...- be says naturally, you snoop inside the bag and see a good dog brand of treats.- Sorry if it sounded rude.-you wave your hand denying with a smile.

– Nah, it's okay, nothing against the literal obviousness.-he doesn't know where else to look, besides your face, people in his university class would ignore him as soon as he open his mouth, he's not used to it, kindliness.-Go on mate, we've been in a hurry all these days with sleep deprivation and lack of basic nourishment, I can't even believe all of us don't eat what is sustainable, so when I'm back home I make sure to cook my dinner and packed lunch for the next day if we don't get a call for the next case outside town, obviously.-woah, while you were speaking out your mind he's amazed, so you know how to cook and care for everybody health, that's the reason why you leave on everybody's table a coffee or tea plus a treat, before the Boogeyman case you left on his table a brownie.

His forearm was bolstering on the table in front of you while his eyes were upon focusing on you, yo unlike you, you couldn't stand eye contact from more than seconds, but the entire talking his eyes landed on you.

– So... That's why you put on our tables coffee and treats? Even on Gideon's and Hotchner's.-you feel your cheeks warm-up, you thought coming 30min early before everyone arrivals, so they didn't knew that was you doing it.

– How do you know it?

– We're profilers, everybody knows but they made me promise I wouldn't tell so you could still surprising us.

– Wow, when you say like this, make me feel ashamed of meself.-you laugh uncomfortably, but not in a bad way.

But he doesn't know it.

– No no, we like it, I mean.. -he panics shaking negatively his hands.-I like, don't stop with it, but I'd like you to show up, I know when you come earlier than us, even over me, you don't sleep well.-you finally breath soon opening a smile.

– Okay, I'll make sure to take your advice, then let's stop talking and let's eat.

He awkwardly agrees while rubbing his scruff.

[Break time]

00h21a.m

You were laughing all giggly while he was explaining you with all of his patient about scientific facts even when you were making dumb designed question just to make him talk more and more about stuff that makes him comfortable around you and happy.

– Okay okay, now you understood how the suppose fire we see coming from the sun is not really fire.

– Yeah, because in space there's no oxygen and within it, fire cannot be produced, sun is made up of hydrogen arpund 70% and 28% of helium. Carbon, nitrogen and oxygen make up 1.5% and the other 0.5% iiisss..-much information, too much and with a pout on your face he continues.

–Is made up of small amounts of many other elements like neon, iron, silicon, magnesium and sulfur.-he proudly smiles.

– You know I might forget it soon, don't you?-he eat his yogurt while shaking positively his head.

–And I'll remind you of it.

One o'clock a.m

You didn't let Spencer get out of your house at this hour, it's not even a possibility.

– You stay here tonight till we left to go to work and don't make up any excuses.

– I wasn't going to though.-he leaves his guard down while having a wide smile, which makes you giggle awkwardly.

– Okey dokey, I wasn't waiting for it... I'll bring you a pillow, a soft blanket and when you wake up, you don't need to leave as soon as you wake up, there's an extra toothbrush and after this you can go.

– Is this an order?-He stands up with his hands on his hips.

– Yes and no! No because I can't control you and yes because I'm just saying because isn't safe to walk past home at this hour, as far as I can reckon, you're a FBI agent, then yup, you can't leave, not now.

– though I wasn't going anyway but you gave me more reasons to stay.-he shows off a smirk

This silly danny boy.

[On the next morning]

08h11 a.m

Nala sniffs Reid's face waking him up, in a huff he complains while getting up, when he headed to the loo he sees you getting out with loosen hair but all already brushed, yet his eyes automatically landed on your chest, you weren't wearing a bra, what is wrong with him, why does his stomach churns when you're around? Not in a bad way, but in a good...

–Spencer? Spencer Reid??? Reeid? Earth calling Spencer Reid!?-you snap him out of his mind.

– What, What happened?

– Nothing, you just stared at me, do I have something on my face?-you suggest and he quickly denies.

– No no, I just, I'm just sleppy, sorry, can I use the bathroom?

– Sure, I'll make us breakfast before you go to your house and change clothes.

He agrees only moving his head getting inside, Jesus Christ, "did she noticed, that I wasn't staring at her pretty face yet her other beautiful pair of eyes?" Spencer needed to wash his face so he could fully wakes up.

You're not dumb, you noticed, however you wouldn't say a thing, you changed clothes and tied your hair.

Acouple of minutes after the coffee and the rest of the breakfast fast is set on the table, Spencer come out wearing his clothes, opening a shy smile.

– I could smell everything from the loo and you didn't burnt anything.

– So you thought I would burn everything?

– Not exactly, I mean...

– To tell you the truth, my first period living alone I did burnt things without mom or grandma tutoring me, but now I'm a good chief.

– Sure you do, the smell is hella good.-you ended laughing.

– Hella good? I think me and Morgan are an awful influence on you,

– Don't think I'm all saint, I reas a lot of books.-you give him a cocky smirk.

– Oh fine, I can't forget that ma boy isn't naive, he kissed an actress months ago and I still waiting my Prince on a dark horse will come.

Idiot, why did you said that? What you meant with it? When he told you this and what he said Morgan told him right after, you kind not liked it, yet you hide this feeling pretty well. Spencer seemed surprised by your statement, he notices your body language change.

– Hmm, yeah, you know, I thought my "first" kiss would be special, but it wasn't, but when I kiss someone else in the future again, I hope that time will be with a special, smart, kind and funny person.

Well, you're all this, but too naive to understand he LITERALLY dropped a straight hint towards you, heaven help the fool who falls in love but can't show it properly.

–But why the Prince on a dark horse and not a white one, as usual?

– Because of it, I want something unusual, different yet magical, the life we are living is not simple, it's tough and dangerous, so I'd like to someone, somehow, become my only special place, when I feel fear, happy, sad and even angry so I'd run to his arm's and when he holds me I can..-he complete your sentence.

– Feel safe.-he says with a tender-hearted tone, as his heart and mind spoke by itselves and you shyly open a wide grin.

– Yeah, now you understood why, what do you think about it?

– I just can think that your mind is unbelievable as your skill while we're working.- what he really wanted to say is: "I'd like someone like that too, so when I have nightmares, this person would be my refuge, you amazes me."

[Break time]

North mammon case closed - since Elle left BAU, Hotchner started putting you to work with him and Morgan, you didn't complained, but you wanted to be set with Spencer as you used to be with, however when Aaron Hotchner say it's an order.

Nevertheless Spencer was not pleased, sometimes he'd ask to Gideon:-"Will agent y/n come with us?" then when a no is following by, he's not happy and it didn't go unoticed by neither Morgan, JJ and Garcia. Morgan would slip sometimes to Garcia "The boy does a funny face when Hotch says y/n will work in camp with me, babygirl, I'm starting to think he might be fond of her, what do you think?" And she would say:-" I dunno, you know, he sees like a person that don't enjoy abruptly changes, they're the same age and intelligent as well, he found someone like him". Morgan:–"That what I'm saying, doll, she's the other half of his orange, they match!". Garcia would laugh:–"Do you wanna bet?"–"Woman, my money's is on them."

Empty planet – Yeah, Spencer is different(than his usually difference)the atmosphere when you're near each other when coming forth and back cases is juat like chalk and cheese. He either calm or super spirited while solving profiles, then when you're paired withour each other company he is all centred and reticent, not mentioning when he's worried when you have to run alongside Morgan chasing mad killers, offenders and suspects.

The last word – when the killer of women came inside the BAU department aiming at a police colleague everybody draw out their guns, however you were pulled behind Spencer by himself, not even managing to draw your gun, he pulled you behind him as if it was possible to protect both of you, since you were next to a pillar, you were taken by surprise and your face stupefied was, you were ready to say something about this action but his hand in front of your body almost touching your arm to stay behind him shush ye.

Glad that Morgan were able to stop the unsub and save the police officer.

Spencer is relieved that nobody got hurt, he now turns his feet to you.

–Are you okay?-and you just confirm with a head wave.

– Thanks for being my "wall" protector, but I'd be the one protecting your arse, since I'm with a gun and you don't have one.-you laugh at his petty defensive face.

– Someone has been told to me to just believe sometimes in your guts even if they sound unbelievable.-you scoff giving him a tap on his arm.

– I was there when it was spoken.-he got the reference (obs: The lion, the witch and the wardrobe).

– What do you think, after we put these men behind bars, do you mind going with me to grab a coffee and brownies?

– Without hesitation, payment is on you.

Would it be funny if you were the one that fell first but he fell harder?

The first time you saw and listened to what Dr.Spencer Reid had to say, you already fell for him, but what about him? Should he feel the same?

Tag list:

@corpsebridenightamare

#imagines #criminal minds #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagines #criminal minds imagine

121 notes · View notes

natashasfilms · 10 months

Text

Chapter Two - Compulsion

Summary: FBI agent Leila faces a profound life change after giving birth to a baby girl, supported by her loving husband. Despite the challenges of motherhood, Leila returns to her role as a dedicated agent a few months later, ready to confront gruesome and haunting cases with the BAU team.

Pairing: BAU!Fem!OC x Male!OC , EVENTUAL Aaron Hotchner x BAU!Fem!OC (Like much later)

Warnings: This story contains mature themes such as sexual content, strong language, violence, mentions of alcohol and drugs, blood, gore, and death. All the usual Criminal Minds stuff. And there is NO CHEATING.

Note 1: I imagine Leila Kade as South Asian but I have decided to let you, the reader, imagine her appearance, hence the reason why I have not given her a face claim. However, her race does not affect the story, whatsoever. You, as the reader, are free to imagine her however you want. If you don't see her as South Asian, then that's fine. It won't affect the storyline. I also imagine the OC!Male as South Asian, but again, it won't affect the storyline.

Note 2: The team will consist of the main cast (Emily, Derek, JJ, Spencer, Penelope, Aaron, and Rossi) but will also include Elle Greenaway and Jason Gideon because they were some of my favorite characters and I wanted to include them with the rest of the team. Basically, Elle and Gideon never leave when Emily and Rossi join.

Note 3: There will be multiple time skips throughout this series. For example, the first chapter will begin on the first season and episode of the show but then there will be a time skip to later episodes (because there are obviously way too many episodes to write this series on and I wanted to include specific episodes that would help the plot of this story). This means that this series will be a slow burn romance but I believe it to be better this way. This will also stray from the actual show a lot, so don't expect it to follow the plot precisely.

Series Masterlist

Season 1, Episode 2

Sitting in her office, Leila heard a knock on the door. She looked up from her paperwork to see a familiar brunette. "Elle, hey. How can I help you?"

Elle walked inside, looking around her office. "Cool office." She said, her eyes landing on the photo of her, Zaid, and Jasmine on her desk. "Like much cooler than Hotch's."

Leila laughed, amused at her comment. "Of course mine is cooler. Aaron's way too boring." Elle chuckled, agreeing. Leila's eyes followed Elle's, landing on her family photo, and her heart instantly warmed at the sight. "Oh! Did you need something?"

The brunette hummed in realization, turning to face her again. "Oh, no. I just wanted to come up here and chat. I just talked to Gideon and went back to my desk, but then I felt kind of bored."

"What? Tired of Reid's random fact of the day? Or Morgan's attempt at flirting?" Leila said jokingly, ushering the chair in front of her desk for Elle to sit. She complied, pulling out the chair to sit down.

"Just a tad bit." Elle replied, holding out her hand to indicate a small gap between her thumb and pointer finger. "Thought I'd see a fresh face who isn't in the cubicle. So why not check up on the only other woman profiler?"

Leila grinned, pushing aside her paperwork to give Elle her undivided attention. "Well, you came to the right place. I can only assume it gets much boring down there with just guys."

Elle raised her eyebrows in agreement. "Oh, yeah. You're lucky to have your own office. How come though?"

"How come I have my own office?" Leila asked.

Elle nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I understand Hotch because he's Unit Chief and Gideon since he used to be Unit Chief and now he's Senior Agent, but—" Elle stopped. "Wait, that sounds wrong. I didn't mean for it to sound like I'm questioning your qualifications."

That made Leila laugh. "Oh, no. Don't worry. I completely understand where you're coming from." Leila told her. "I'd honestly have the same questions if I were in your position, so don't feel bad for asking."

The brunette smiled, relieved that she wasn't taken the wrong way.

Leila paused for a moment, a fond smile crossing her face as she recalled the past. "Funny story, actually. There was a time when Gideon had to take a temporary leave, and I stepped in as the interim Unit Chief. It meant having my own office for a while, and when Gideon eventually returned, he insisted that I keep it. He said that since I've been a part of this team for so long, I've become a trustworthy and valuable member, so I deserved to have my own office."

Elle nodded, intrigued by the story. "That's pretty awesome. You earned it, though."

Leila's smile widened, appreciating the support from her colleague and new friend. "Thanks, Elle. It's been my little sanctuary ever since. Gives me a bit of space to think and work."

Elle leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. "Well, I must say, it suits you. And it's a nice change from the cubicle chaos."

Leila chuckled. "That's for sure. So, tell me…" She began, leaning forward and crossing her arms on top of her desk. "How have you been managing with the team, so far? Anyone giving you trouble? Cause if so, I can take it right up to Aaron and Gideon. Unless it's Aaron or Gideon who's giving you the trouble."

Elle waved a hand, laughing. "No, no, no. Everyone's been so kind. I feel like I was able to fit in so quickly. You all are such great people and the environment is super friendly."

"I'm glad to hear that." Leila replied. "You've been a great agent and team member so far, and you've been doing pretty well on the cases, so I have no worries about you."

Elle opened her mouth to speak, hesitated for a moment, and then decided to share her question. Leila gave her a reassuring look, indicating that she was all ears. "I have a question." Elle began.

Leila raised an eyebrow, interlacing her fingers and resting them under her chin, inviting Elle to continue. "Go ahead." She prompted.

"The Footpath Killer. Why did he stutter?" Elle asked, her curiosity evident in her tone.

Leila couldn't help but grin, finding Elle's curiosity endearing. A chuckle escaped her lips as she responded. "I asked Gideon too, but he wouldn't tell me." Elle sighed, clearly eager to know the answer. "Did you ask the others?"

Elle shook her head. "I wanted to hear your take on it first before asking them."

Understanding her reasoning, Leila nodded and rose from your seat. "Alright, then let's go find out together." She suggested, exiting her office with Elle.

As the two women descended the stairs, Elle couldn't hold back her curiosity any longer. She directed her question to the guys at the cubicles. "Question for you."

Derek glanced up, his eyebrows raised in interest. "Shoot."

"The Footpath Killer." Elle reiterated, coming closer to Derek and Spencer, with Leila walking alongside her. "Why did he stutter?"

Derek reclined in his chair, a knowing smile on his face. "Come on, Elle, we've all asked him that, but he won't tell us. He wants us to figure it out."

Leila perched herself at the edge of Spencer's desk, laughing. "The number of times I've tried to get it out of him, he simply wouldn't tell me."

"Well, okay. I'm up for a challenge." Elle said, settling at the edge of her own desk.

Leila observed a familiar blonde approaching, files in hand. "Good. Because these go to you." She said, placing the files on Elle's desk and offering a handshake. "Special Agent Jennifer Jareau. JJ if you like."

"Elle." She responded, reciprocating the handshake.

"Greenaway." JJ nodded with a friendly smile. "Highest number of solved cases in Seattle three years running. Specialty in sex offender cases."

Elle's eyes widened, impressed, and she glanced at the rest of the team. "Not bad."

JJ then explained her role as the unit liaison and her expertise in untangling bureaucratic knots. "You'll probably be talking to me a lot. My door is always open. Mostly because I'm never in my office. So just call me on my cell. Okay? We'll talk." With that, JJ headed upstairs towards Aaron's office.

Leila was on the verge of speaking when Aaron's voice called out, beckoning the team to gather in the conference room. "BAU team, can you meet me in the conference room, please? I need to show you something."

Without hesitation, the team swiftly rose from their seats and made their way upstairs, situating themselves around the conference table. They eagerly awaited the unveiling of the new case as JJ distributed the files, and everyone delved into the contents.

"This is from the Phoenix office. Bradshaw College in Tempe. Six fires in seven months." Aaron explained, the team listening intently as they searched through the files of the new case.

"Who recorded it?" Gideon asked, pointing towards the video on the TV screen that had yet to be played.

"A student with a digital camcorder." JJ responded, looking at everyone. "He was watching a fire in the building across from their dorm. The other person you'll see is his roommate, 20-year-old Matthew Rowland."

A video began playing on the large screen, captivating the team's undivided attention. The chilling footage showcased a horrifying act of arson, where a college student was set ablaze after the unsub poured gasoline under the crack of their dorm room door.

"There are two common stressors for a serial arsonist." Spencer chimed in, absently fiddling with his chess figures. With urgency in their movements, the team settled into their seats on the jet, knowing they needed to reach the college as quickly as possible to prevent further tragedies.

Elle continued to provide answers. "Loss of job, loss of love."

"When was the first fire set?" Derek inquired.

"March." Aaron responded. "The next one was in May. And the third one wasn't until September. Then, two weeks later, there were three in one night."

Leila raised an eyebrow thoughtfully. "He's speeding up; the fires are becoming more frequent and closer together."

Derek typed on his computer, briefly looking at Spencer before turning back. "Hey, Reid, you got a statistic on arsonists?"

Spencer immediately knew the answer. "Eighty-two percent are white males between 17 and 27. Female arsonists are far less likely, their motive typically being revenge."

"Sounds like our boy's a student." Derek remarked.

"Oh, don't be so sure," Gideon responded, looking up at Derek briefly. The seasoned profiler continued to look through the file. "You rely too much on precedent, you never allow for the unexpected. If he went from setting one fire to three in two weeks' time…"

"Rapid escalation." Aaron interjected.

"He's gone from the power to damage a building to something far more satisfying." Gideon continued, and Leila had a feeling she knew what he was going to say next. "The power over life and death."

The jet finally touched down, and the team swiftly made their way into the waiting SUVs, headed straight for the college. As they arrived, they exited the vehicles, with Gideon striding purposefully ahead.

"No badges." Gideon insisted firmly, walking with urgency. "I don't want to satisfy the UnSub's need for attention by letting him know he got the FBI here. Try not to look official."

The team paused, glancing at one another and adjusting their attire as soon as Gideon's words registered. Clad in all-black professional suits with sunglasses shielding their eyes, they looked ready for action.

Gideon cast a quick glance back at them before resuming his path. "Try to look less official."

After making an effort to appear "less official," the team shed their suit jackets and sunglasses, determined not to play into the unsub's desire for attention. However, Aaron still chose to keep his jacket on. They caught up with Gideon, who was engrossed in conversation with the headmaster of the college. She seemed adamant about evacuating the entire campus in response to the ongoing fires.

"You may not want to do that as it could bring in even more problems." Leila suggested as they continued walking. They reached another building, Gideon and Aaron opening the doors for them all to enter. "If you evacuate the campus, you might evacuate the arsonist as well."

"When the case goes unsolved, the campus is re-opened, but the fires start up again." Elle added.

"Wait, Hotch, Gideon. Hold on a second." Derek said, causing them to all stop. He turned to the Fire Inspector, Zhang. "You said the chemicals went missing today. It says here that one of the previous fires was set with diesel fuel that disappeared from the grounds-keeping facility. How long after it disappeared was the fire set?"

The headmaster's eyes widened in realization. "One day."

Upon hearing this revelation, Aaron and Gideon exchanged a knowing glance before walking away together, engaged in a serious discussion about the new information they had just received.

Leila, Elle, and Derek strolled around the campus, discreetly observing the students and taking in the overall setting.

"I just don't get it." Elle admitted, the three of them descending the stairs. "Why start fires when you can't even watch them?"

Leila pondered for a moment before responding. "Maybe the unsub gets a thrill from the screams without having to witness the actual devastation. But it still doesn't entirely add up."

"And why is he escalating so rapidly?" Derek chimed in, and Leila nodded in agreement. "The fires used to be months apart, and now there are multiple on the same day."

"God, he could ignite another fire any time, and we might not even notice until it's too late." Leila exclaimed, stepping off the last few stairs when suddenly, the fire alarm blared to life.

"You were saying?" Derek quipped, prompting the three of them to dash towards the smoking building.

Leila sprinted as fast as she could, with Derek and Elle trying to keep pace. Her background in martial arts and high school track made her an agile and swift runner.

They urgently shouted at students to clear the way as they charged into the building. Inside, Leila spotted Gideon wielding a fire extinguisher, attempting to douse the flames. Derek swiftly moved to restrain him, fearful that the fire would escalate further.

With combined effort, they managed to pull Gideon away from the dangerous situation, though he resisted fiercely, still shouting to be released. "He was a teacher!"

"Just let it go! He's already gone." Derek implored, keeping a firm grip on him.

Leila glanced back at the burning building, her heart pounding in her chest at the tragedy that had unfolded. It was as if she had predicted what would occur, even before it happened.

Elle diligently captured images of all the students outside, their eyes fixed on the blazing fire. The team meticulously scrutinized the photos, hoping to identify anyone who appeared suspicious. However, it proved to be more challenging than they had anticipated.

Leila leaned back in her chair, putting on her glasses she rarely used, aside for detailed examinations and paperwork. Letting out a sigh of frustration, she set aside the photo she was holding and took off her glasses, gently massaging her temples to try to alleviate the growing headache caused by the intensity of the case.

"Look at these expressions." Derek exclaimed, a tinge of irritation in his voice. "We've got fear, a touch of horror, even a little bit of panic. But where's the guy getting off?"

Spencer interjected with a crucial piece of information. "When asked about his motives, Peter Dinsdale said, 'I am devoted to fire. Fire is my master.'"

Derek moved closer to the crime board, brandishing a lighter. "Okay, so who is our boy's master? Ten-thousand-plus students, and one has a serious fascination with fire."

Leila hummed thoughtfully, bringing her hands down from her face and crossing them against her chest. "Fire-starting is one-third of the homicidal triad, an early predictor of adult dissociative criminal behavior."

"I think if we looked into his childhood, we'd probably find all three." Elle added, nodding in agreement with Leila's earlier statement. "Bed-wetting and cruelty to animals."

"Absent or abusive father, trouble with the opposite sex, chronic low self-esteem." Gideon elaborated, pacing around the room. "MO will be dynamic. Evolving. As fire-setting escalates, they thrive on panic, fear. It's just the standard profile of a serial arsonist."

"Based on hundreds of interviews." Spencer added.

"Based on precedent." Derek chimed in.

"Everything the UnSub should be according to research." Leila sighed.

"But we're off the mark." Aaron said, his expression filled with concern.

"Because of two missing elements." Gideon answered.

"Sex and power. The two motives that drive a serial arsonist." Derek responded.

"And without them, we do not have a profile." Gideon stated, leaving them all stressed and worried.

Leila, Aaron, and Spencer made their way to the chemistry lab to speak with the students who claimed to have knowledge of how the unsub created the fires. As Leila entered the lab, she carefully examined all the equipment and chemicals, trying to gain any insight into the arsonist's methods.

Aaron approached Spencer and suggested he take the lead in the conversation with the students, considering he was closer in age to them and might establish a better rapport.

Spencer looked up, a little nervous, but he cleared his throat, ready to talk. "Hi guys. My name is Doctor Spencer Reid. I am an agent with the BAU, Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, which, it used to be called the BSU, the Behavioral Science Unit, but not anymore. They changed it to the BAU. It's part of the NCAVC, the National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime, which is also part of this thing called the CIRG, the Critical Incident Response Group and—"

Leila could tell he was getting anxious, causing him to ramble. She stepped in, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder and giving him a small smile before taking over. "What Doctor Reid is trying to say is that we would love to know how you can help us."

The only guy from the group of four stood up, walking up to Spencer, pointing at the lightbulb. "May I, please? Thank you." He took the lightbulb and held it up for them to see. "See this? Drill a hole in the side, fill it with gasoline, or whatever is good and flammable, turn the light on, boom." They all looked at him, and Leila made a mental note to do a background check on him. "That is what went down, didn't it?"

"This stuff's all over the Net." One of the girls spoke, causing all of them to turn their heads her way. "Wanna know how to make a Molotov cocktail that sets itself on fire?" She held up her hand, counting the items on her fingers. "Potassium, sulfur, and normal sugar. Sugar. Sugar, which is—"

"Not exactly plutonium." The guy said, cutting her off. "You could get the stuff anywhere."

"Sugar from the supermarket."

Leila and Aaron glanced at each other before he spoke. "But you don't need to be a chem major to know that."

"Do you think it's a chem student?" Zhang asked the students.

"You wanna know what I think?" the guy asked. Leila looked at him as he walked up to Spencer once again, holding the lightbulb over his forehead before giving it back to him. "I think it would be a good time to take the semester off."

With that information, the three decided it was time to leave the lab. The guy offered to take them to the elevator, and they all entered as Aaron pushed the buttons.

"Hold on, you need a key to get it moving after 10:00PM." The guy told him, inserting a key.

"So what are you still doing here?" Leila asked him, her arms crossed.

"I can't leave. We've all got projects. You know how to solve the three-body problem?" he inquired.

Leila, Aaron, and Spencer all looked at each other, some ideas already swarming in their heads.

They received an audio recording of someone speaking, the voice distorted. The recording sounded like someone was saying, "I do this for Karen," however, it was difficult to decipher what the person was saying.

Derek asked Penelope to filter the audio to get it as close to the real voice. Leila paced around the room, trying to think about what they could be missing. She usually needed some alone time to think, as it helped her relax and clear her mind. Excusing herself from the team, they all understood she needed to be alone to think.

The person in the audio sounded like they were saying they did it for "Karen," but Leila knew it was a bit of a stretch. There were hundreds of Karen's on the campus, but the audio sounded much more like it was a different word.

She paced around the empty room, thinking of words that started with a K sound, similar to Karen. After a few minutes of pacing, her eyes widened slightly as she went over all of the evidence in her head. Suddenly, a realization struck her, and she quickly ran back to the team in the other room, noticing Gideon running in as well.

"Charown." Leila and Gideon said at the same time, Leila furrowing her eyebrows but not surprised that Gideon figured it out too.

"Charown?" Spencer questioned, turning to look at the two.

"'I do it because of Charown.'" Gideon repeated.

"That's Hebrew."

"It's God's burning anger." Leila explained.

"Yeah." Spencer acknowledged, as the pieces of the puzzle started falling into place.

Elle walked up to them, furrowing her eyebrows. "The motive is now religious?"

Gideon began to write on the whiteboard while Spencer explained the connection between religions and fire. "Well, you know in a lot of religions, God is related to fire."

Aaron chimed in. "Agni is fire in Hinduism, and the Jews see God as a pillar of fire. Christians also worship God as a consuming fire."

"Okay, so we're looking for a theology major." Derek suggested. "Maybe he's punishing the other students for their sins."

"What's the most sinful place on campus?" Elle asked, searching for potential targets.

"Come on, Elle, when I was in college, it was everywhere." Derek responded with a hint of humor.

"Fraternity?" Aaron questioned.

"Campus bar?" Elle suggested.

Leila shook her head, looking at them all with a thoughtful expression. "No, because that's not consistent with the previous targets."

"What about the idea of baptism by fire?" Derek added. "Aren't we all supposed to be tested through fire in Revelations?"

Gideon turned away from the whiteboard, facing them all once again. "Look, it's good, it's good. But, listen, please do not jump to conclusions. Religion might be a part of it, but it's not necessarily the prime compulsion."

Elle and Derek responded a bit angrily back to Gideon, claiming they were running out of time to figure this out.

Leila closed her eyes, thinking back to the video they first saw of the three fires in one night. "I need to see the video of Matthew again."

Spencer looked at her, nodding his head. "I'll watch it with you, I need to see something."

Leila and Spencer played the video in another room, trying to examine if there were any clues they may have missed. They replayed the video over and over again, but Leila noticed something strange. "Hey, wait. Zoom in on the door knob."

Spencer pressed one of the keys to zoom in on the door knob and played the video once again. They noticed how the door knob twisted three times.

"We need to see any other signs of three during the other fires." Spencer stated, and the two of them rushed to Professor Wallace's office, the teacher who died in the fire, and checked his schedule. He was in office number three.

"Tuesday, three o'clock." Leila mumbled, showing Spencer.

The two of them immediately went to the team to inform them about what they discovered. Spencer closed the door and began speaking. "Leila and I know why the profiles never fit. You were right to tell Morgan not to rely on precedent. The fires thus far have been completely task-oriented."

"So once they're set, the unsub is done?" Aaron questioned Spencer.

"Exactly. The UnSub is not a classical serial arsonist. He's someone who uses fire because of a completely different disorder." Leila explained, grateful that they finally understood why the unsub was doing what he did.

"Which is?" Gideon tilted his head.

Spencer began to explain. "An extreme manifestation of OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder. He does everything in threes. And if we're right, he'll have to kill again."

Leila and Spencer showed the video to Aaron and Gideon, zooming in on the door knob. As Spencer talked, Leila thought back to the girl in the chemistry lab.

"Aaron, remember that girl from the lab?" Leila asked him, and Aaron turned to look at her. "Clara, I think was her name?"

Aaron nodded his head in realization, who furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. Gideon looked at him. "What is it?"

"I think I know who it might be. And it's not a he, it's a she." Aaron said. "Clara Hayes. When I was talking to her and her classmates, I noticed something. A ring on her finger and she kept turning it."

Leila pointed at him, nodding her head. "I noticed it, too. She turned at intervals of three."

"And she counted off the ingredients of a light bulb bomb." Aaron continued.

"And the word sugar." Spencer realized.

"Yeah, and she kept repeating it. Once she started, she couldn't stop."

Leila hummed, fiddling with her ring on her ring finger. "Mhm, I have OCD. I always have to do everything in even numbers or else I'll be uncomfortable."

"I've always noticed that." Spencer said, looking at her. "You always keep everything so organized and do everything in an even set of numbers. It's like you have to do it."

Leila tilted her head, smiling. "It gets a little annoying."

The fire alarms went off in the campus, all of them searching for Clara Hayes. Leila got ready to find Clara, along with Aaron.

Gideon looked frantic, about to rush out of the room when Aaron stopped him. "Jason, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Clara Hayes is very likely a good person. Someone who never wanted to do anyone any harm, like any other rational person. But there's nothing rational about obsessive-compulsive disorder."

"Research suggests OCD involves problems in communication between the frontal part of the brain and the orbital cortex. Plus deeper structures, the basal ganglia." Spencer explained OCD.

"You can't reason with her because you can't reason with a physiological problem." Leila continued, while Gideon looked confused. "She's not setting these fires because she wants to, but because she has to."

"What are you trying to say?" Gideon asked, eyebrows scrunched.

Leila looked at him, her gaze stern. "Don't try to convince her to stop. Because you won't be able to."

Leila and Aaron ran to the third floor, where they found Clara kneeling on the ground in front of the elevator, holding a torch. "Clara." Aaron said aloud, causing the girl to gasp quietly.

"I have to do this." She told them, breathing heavily.

"You know it's not rational, Clara. You were trying to tell me."

"God chose me to be tested." Clara insisted, a tight grip on the torch. "And now he's chosen them. If I don't do this, something terrible will happen."

Leila quickly tried to stall her. "What will happen, Clara? Is it a flood? An earthquake? What is it? You know this isn't rational."

Clara squinted her eyes, her face in concentration. "I know, I know, I know."

"Then resist." Aaron told her.

"I can't! They must be tested. God's wrath."

"Clara, you told me it was a chemistry student." Aaron pressed further and you slowly walked closer to her while he distracted her. "You left the message about Charon."

"Charon, Charon, Moloch."

"You want to stop."

"Father, Son...Holy Ghost." Clara inched forward and was about to throw the torch into the elevator when Aaron shot her leg, making her drop it onto the ground. As she was close enough, Leila quickly stepped onto it before it fell into the elevator.

Gideon ran up to them, looking at Aaron. "I thought you said not to reason with her?"

The team made it back to Quantico, entering the BAU building as they all were ready to head back home. Leila walked up the stairs, opening her office door when she saw two people.

Her eyes widened in surprise but then she squealed, running up to them. She took her little girl into her arms, spinning her around.

"Wow, and I don't even get a hello?" Zaid crossed his arms, only sarcasm laced in his voice. "After everything we've been through."

Leila scoffed, turning back to him. "My little Jas is the most important person in my life, it isn't even a competition."

Zaid laughed, wrapping his arms around her body, careful not to squish Jasmine in the process. "If that isn't the truest thing I've heard all day."

Leila looked up at her husband, grinning. She leaned into him, initiating a kiss to which he obliged quickly. "We need to go home right now. I'm so tired."

Zaid hummed, grabbing your bag from when you dropped it onto the floor. "I cooked your favorite. Thought you'd be hungry."

She grinned in excitement, planting another kiss on his lips before she started rushing out of her office. "I'm starving." She looked at Jasmine, who started giggling as her mom ran down the stairs. "Yeah, baby? Let's go home, okay?"

The team looked over at the three, warm smiles on their faces as they watched them leave.

"That's so cute." JJ said, who came up to the team once they arrived. "They look so happy."

The team nodded in agreement, still grinning even after the elevator closed behind the three as they got on it.

#angst #fluff #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #fanfiction #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner x original female character #original female character #original male character #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds bau #criminal minds series #revelations series #aaron hotchner x bau!reader #fanfiction series

23 notes · View notes

lavender-lotion · 10 months

Text

WIP TITLE GAME

RULES: Reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. Let others ask questions about the ones that interest them and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit!

i have a whooping 238 WIPS in my WIP folder SO I am co-opting this wip game to make my own!!

send me a title and i'll send you an excerpt from the WIP (or, if there's nothing written, i'll explain what the WIP idea is!)!

Criminal Minds:

Hotch insulting Reid to the unsub - praise and comfort and flirty existing back and forth

Hotch/Reid

Hotch/Reid gun range

hotch/reid hospital au

Morgan/Reid - S2 E4

Crossovers/Miscellaneous Fandoms

bucky/stiles

TW x Glee

venom/eddie/peter

X-Men / MCU

DC Extended Universe

Superbat

Encanto

antonio/parce

5 times Antonio helps Bruno +1 time Bruno helps Antonio

5 times Antonio crawls into bed with Camilo +1 time Camilo crawls into bed with Antonio

Antonio/Camilo

5 accidental dates +1 purposeful proposal / 5 times Mariano took Camilo on a date without realizing it +1 time he took Camilo on a date with Dolores on purpose

Mariano/Dolores/Camilo

Fate: The Winx Saga

5 times Riven gives Dane a first +1 time Dane gave Riven a first

Riven/Dane/Beatrix

Glee

Glee fic list

Kurt/Chandler

kurt/kenny

will/kurt

hummelcest pt 3

puckurtcest pt 2

with puck pt 2

sam not backing down

sam/kurt

kurt picking up dave's call

Kurtofsky - long fic coming out

Kurtofsky - after prom season 2

Ep 5:

Pukcurt

Puckurt - visiting during juvie

Kingsman (Movies)

Dad Eggsy

Eggsy/Roxy/Merlin

eggsy/trans roxy

emerging from the night and heart of me

Kingsman

protective eggsy

tattoo au

Touched starved merlin

Marvel Cinematic Universe

5 times Happy patched up Peter and 1 time Peter patches up Happy

confrontation fic - venom

Jarvis/Tony

MindSpider - confrontation fic

Peter Harley James

stony dick pic

Twitter fic

Bruce Banner/Peter Parker Dom/Sub

DRAFT (hold me) steady

DRAFT to love and be loved by you

FINAL (hold me) steady

FINAL to love and be loved by you

GammaSpider continuation Hulk crush

hulk fic edits

Ned/Peter 2

Rhodey/Tony

keenker kinktober 12

drabble prompts spideypool confrontation fic

spideypool asexual gift for frosted goddess

Spideypool Big Bang

Spideypool prompt

Starker Big Bang

starker field trip fic

Starker Mob AU

I Built my Home, Inside Of You

Thorki

Thor/Peter

Bucky/Peter sex worker fic

Physiotherapy (I'll Be Your Baby)

WINTERspider - confrontation

winterspider date fluff

winterspider smut

Ragnarok (TV 2020)

Laurits finds Magne after the show

Loki Laurits

primal Laurits

Ragnarok s2e1

S2E3 - key kiss

S2E5

Teen Wolf

Alpha Twins/Stiles

merwin bday fic - stiles/alpha pack?

peter/jackson

Sheriff Stilinski Gets Some Good Lovin'

stiles in make up

Untitled Document

love confession??

part 3

Together, We Belong

Writing - Together, We Belong

chris/derek dom/sub

Deter -

deter marriage proposal

stiles/sam prompt sam saving stiles

Dressing porn

JR/Tyler

RPF

season 2 stackson

June 19 - Smut

June 20: Relationship Reveal

June 23: Free Day

Stalion magic alpha pack

Stallison

Beacn stanny

camboy stiles - stanny

gift for merwin

Gone and Past

Sr stalion And stennis

Stennis

Stennis sex

Feral Derek

Kate takes video of essentially rape

A Rut(acular) Tale

bmtmm

breathing you in sequel

continuation to fox!stiles

fox stiles installment

hale family

hornet au

Sr. Steter

seter courting??

steter for harry—alpha rut

steter kidfic

familiar steterek

Set up on date

steterek

Steterek kisses

steterek sad derek

young steterek

Soft steter->stetopher

stetopher series fight

tattoos

You Fill My Heart (With Such a Gentle Love)

alpha stiles omega john

Co-Write Thiny-Y

De-aged Sheriff

drunk dick pic stilinksicest

Impregnation kink

john jacking stiles off when he can't use his hands

John/Jordan/Stiles

Possessive fox sheriff claims his son

stilinskicest abusive claudia

Stilinskicest tattoo

Teen wolf gift for Levi

Twincest only fans

The House in the Cerulean Sea

Linus/Arthur

Phee/David

5 courting gifts Lucy gives Sal +1 (hopeful) courting gift Sal gives Lucy

chase

Salucy college au

the (delectable) devil

Weird City

smexy massage

X-Men

Charles angst childhood telepathy

Charles waking up in Jakob's arms

dadneto saves the day

Emma Frost/Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier

Erik/Shaw

jakob/charles series

kurt/hank

Lonkma

Mutant High Verse

Phoenix Peter

quogan

Rare's En/Charles

Rare's Xavierine

Alemando age play

5 times Jas and Jimmy tried to seduce Piotr +1 time they didn't have to

jammy

kitney making out

Lonk first time

Lonk pt 2 "I have never felt so content with unexpected discoveries"

Lonk pt 2 PLANNING

Azazel/Janos snowball fight

azjanos

bobby/john discovering cherik

cain developing his mutation

Cain Marko/Charles Xavier AU

chain + body worship

Chain sharing a bed

cherigan fic

bab smut

charles mom sucks

Cherik Dating App

Co-Write Cherik AU

Dance Dads AU

Erik goes back in time cause Charles is dead but overshoots

post dofp smut

they slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered

unbendable

bamg emma kdinapped angel

Emmangel Christmas

for even if she flees, soon she shall pursue

you cast diamonds across the waters of my innocence

magnet smut

Mags Family

Nina

Peter/Wendy POV

Hank and Alex bond during lab time

logan/emma

Lonk

Lonk awkwardly flirting for jasp

Lonk for lib

lonk kids action

lonk patching up

first meeting

5 times Kurt makes Peter bust a nut in his pants and 1 time Peter busts a nut in his pants on his own

Night silver

peter putting himself down

Angry Erik

QUICKNETO

quickneto identity reveal

original timeline grief fuck

scogan first meeting

scogan peach

Incest continuation

Summerscest ANGST

war photo masturbation

xavierine fic

Young Justice

Dick and Wally team up to seduce Conner

awuabird

S1E16 - aquabird

S1E18 - aquabird

birdflash

S1E16 - crack spitfire and aqua bird

S1E17 0 spitfire

S1e20 spitfire

SpitFire - S1E14 short

5 times superboy watches tv alone and one time dock watches tv with him

drabble prompts superbird

S1E17 - superbird

SuperBird - S1E16 superbird

superbird continutation TO WORK ON

Superbird s1e5

superboy asking out dick

Unsorted

A Guest Star

Anniversary fic

aquabird

chp 2. You Are so Much Better Than I Ever Knew Before

co-parent stanny post season 2

Gar/Connor

glee ideas

kuniff day 1

Kuniff day 2

kurtosfky pt 2

poly cule

poly fic act 1

poly fic act 2

poly fic act 3

PROMPTS:

Puckurt Sarah fic

stanny post season 2

sterek post season 2

twin fic sequel

Untitled Document

winter/peter

open tag to anyone who read them all haha

#teen wolf #marvel #mcu #glee #young justice #yj #x-men #xmen #x men #kingsman

4 notes · View notes

dungeons-are-too-cold · 2 years

Text

Both of these following options are valid and can exist, even within the same person. Me that is, they can exist within me.

The Spencer x JJ lil plot at the end of season 14 and beginning of season 15 were unnecessarily complicated and also lead to a lot of undoing of Spencer's character which I didn't appreciate. He kinda devolved in a sense emotionally to a place he was in the much earlier seasons with his longing for JJ and a life for the two of them. I feel like it undermined his relationship with Maeve, not necessarily by the existence of this plot point but rather the way the writers handled Spencer's reaction to JJ's confession in his conversation with his mother. The idea that Spencer has been secretly pining for JJ since season 1 and all this talk of him not pursuing other relationships because he's been waiting for his shot with JJ whether he knows thats what he was doing or not is not an unrealistic plot line for a character, but it feels unwanted in Spencer in my personal opinion. Also, the position that it puts Spencer in from a writing perspective is now one he will never get out of. Considering this is the end of the show, I guess thats fine, but it just feels really narratively frustrating. Especially after watching this show for 15 years, I cant imagine what fans felt like in this moment. Spencer is the only character in the whole show who was never allowed any moment to breathe, any fresh air in the midst of the crazy suffering they all experienced. When I thought he was getting his moment, they killed Maeve right in front of him. Spencer has lost everything in his life, he has suffered so much and there seems to never be a reprieve from that loss like the other characters get. They all build relationships, have children, pursue their wants and needs and they are rewarded for it. JJ gets will and her boys, Morgan gets Savanah, Hotch is able to be a full time dad to Jack, Matt is on his 5th kid, Luke has Lisa, Penelope has pursued several relationships throughput the show, Emily has as well, hell even Rossi gets married for the 4th fucking time. Spencer was such an incredible character, not just because he was well rounded and interesting but because he was a good man. he was nothing but kind, passionate, honest, and his integrity is something I will always admire and aspire to have. He was consistently good, even in the face of everything, and he was never rewarded for his goodness, his steadfastness. Thats not to say the real world rewards good people, but that is to say my heart breaks for him and the way his story unfolds does make it really hard to feel so similar to him. I just wish he was given more than this, I think he deserved it. This JJ confession plot just really is the final straw for me.

The conversation Spencer has with his mom in the hospital is really important and I am glad that he had it. This idea of defining yourself by relationships and actions and possibilities rather than what is intrinsically you is something I seriously struggle with. If I were to exist in a vacuum, I don't know if I would be able to tell you who I am. Thats why change is so hard, because I tie myself to my situation. When situations change, I feel stranded. Spencer saying he doesn't know who he is if his mother is gone and hes not protecting her, or if he's not secretly hoping for some kind of future with JJ, I feel like is a really important development for his character. Its a turning point for internal exploration and would have set him on a path to figuring himself out. I just wish it had come sooner, that he would get this moment to realize he needs to figure out who he is on his own and then actually have the opportunity to realize it in his own life.

now maybe this is too emotional or whatever, but this is whats on my mind right now. Spencer is very special to me as a character and I have a lot of thoughts lol

#criminal minds watch through #criminal minds #criminal minds spoilers #dr. spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid angst #jennifer jareau #cm season 15 #georgia's not so critical analyisis

15 notes · View notes

dudeitiskarev · 26 days

Text

If You Only Knew | Aaron Hotchner

My One and Only prequel

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x bau female reader

Summary: Broken hearts find each other and in the process, they mend each other.

Word count: 10.7k

Tags/warnings: season 10 Hotch <3; cheating (on reader); food and alcohol consumption; Hotch has a soft spot for reader<3; lazy case talk whoops; canon typical violence; one bed trope; smut: unprotected and dirty office sex (p in v); secret relationship; stolen glances and kisses in forbidden places!!1!

Author’s note: I don’t usually do second parts mostly because I wrap up the story in a single one shot, but while writing the first fic I had this prequel in mind because oh boy, they have HISTORY (which is why it ended up being longer than My One and Only). Both can be read as a stand alone. First fic was based on Dress by miss T. Swift, and this one is like a mash up of every Taylor’s ovulation songs (I listened to this playlist a lot while writing this) 🙂‍↔️ Call It What You Want x I Can See You being the main inspo. Or were the songs inspired by them???🧐 it’s just so sexy sexy. Anyway, hope you enjoy!!!!

MASTERLIST

There used to be an engagement ring on your right hand.

A bright but simple ring that from the moment it was given to you, had you hopeful about your future. That future had always been uncertain. You rarely pictured yourself more than two years ahead, to begin with—for many reasons, neither worth mentioning—but no matter how long your future was, you were sure it was going to be just as bright as your ring.

And how wrong you were…

It hadn’t been more than two months since your fiancé promised you the world when you caught him in a lie. You’d let it slip away, fidgeting your ring as a reminder that he was the one.

If you hadn’t ignored the signs, you would’ve saved yourself from getting your heart ripped out.

He cheated, and even worse, you caught him in the act, with another woman in your own bed. You stormed out leaving every door open. Zac came running behind you, yelling your name, but you didn’t stop. You ripped the engagement ring off your finger and threw it at him without looking back. That clink of the band bouncing on the pavement was so faint compared to the sound of your castle crumbling, and your prince kept yelling at you to come back.

You didn’t. You got in your car and drove off aimlessly.

You’d been driving around the city blasting music since then, and yelling the lyrics hoping you’d go numb. You didn’t, but at least you had some clarity.

You had nowhere to be. There was no home anymore, no bed to sleep on, and no arms to run to. The place you used to call home now was stained with lies and haunted by another woman.

The only place that could shelter you for the night was the BAU. At the end of the day, that was your home. You spent most of your days there with the people you worked with. People who would take a bullet for you. They were your family—Derek being the one you loved the most—but you couldn’t run to him or any of them right now. The wound was too fresh and letting them see you like this would be disappointing and just… sad. They’ve always known you as a tough and reasonable woman. How were you supposed to tell them you weren’t that smart now that your entire relationship crumbled?

You parked at your usual spot and searched for your emergency go bag in the backseat. It was always stocked with everything you needed for at least a week. You weren’t planning on staying at the BAU for an entire week, of course, but also, you never knew. Your ex was capable of lighting your house on fire just to get rid of any evidence of his betrayal so for now, that bag was all you had.

You took a deep breath and made your way inside the building. You walked through security as you always did and smiled at the night guard. It was Rick, the oldest of them all but you felt the safest when he was at the door.

“What brings you here at this hour, young lady?” Rick adjusted his ivy cap.

It was past three in the morning.

“Piled up paperwork,” you merely said.

And he didn’t question you. “Oh, sure,” he answered politely with his old, raspy voice.

You smiled at him and made your way to the elevator, pushing the number six as you always did. You kicked the bag with your knee until the doors dinged open.

Not a single soul received you.

You walked past the glass doors and reached your desk, looking up at Hotch’s office that was right across. He had a couch there that you could use as your bed for a few hours. Everyone has slept there at least once— for whatever reason—and now it was your turn. You marched up the short stairs and paused. You knew his office remained unlocked (he once said that he’d lost the key, but deep down you knew he left it open in case anyone needed somewhere to crash for the night).

You knocked, just in case, and once there was no answer, you twisted the knob. His perfume was faint in the air—soft and woody—so it was easy to assume he’d left not long ago. You closed the door behind you and walked to the couch, leaving your bag there and turning the lamp on.

The dim light triggered the memories of the moment that tore you apart hours earlier: Another woman riding your fiancé. They even dared to light up romantic candles.

Your fucking candles.

“Son of a bitch,” you muttered.

You couldn’t help but laugh a little. You wasted three years of your life and now with a cool head, you realized it was in your hands how you handled it. It could either be the best thing that's happened to you or you could let it drag you down.

Right then, you decided the first option was the only one. You stood there, both hands on your hips, your chin up and took a deep breath, filling your lungs with air until your chest swelled.

This was going to be the only night you’d let yourself mourn your relationship. No tears. Just you and a glass of scotch. It wasn’t your drink of choice but it was all Hotch kept in his office and you knew exactly where he kept the bottle (right under his espresso machine García had gotten him for his birthday a couple of years ago). You crouched down and opened the little cabinet. The bottle was almost full and you wondered if it was brand new or if he rarely drank. You shrugged it off. You poured yourself some and began pacing around his office.

You’ve been here a million times and you’d never paid much attention to all the things he had. There were quite a few awards granted by the bureau displayed on the wall behind his desk; a bunch of books, too. You ran your fingers through them as you walked from end to end. He had a picture of Jack and Haley over his desk and you looked around, searching for a picture of Beth. Your eye landed on her contagious smile, over the little table by his couch. You walked there to get a better look at the picture. She was looking at the camera and he was looking at her. You’d met her a few times and it was nice seeing Hotch in love again. After Haley, everyone thought he’d refuse to let someone in again, but when love knocks on your door there’s not much you can do.

You sighed deeply and placed your empty glass in front of the picture. The alcohol was making you sleepy so you made yourself comfortable. You went to brush your teeth, put on your pajamas and fuzzy socks, made a blanket out of your blazer, and used your folded pants as a pillow.

You rubbed your feet together. It wasn’t a cold night, but you wished you didn’t have to spend it alone.

The constant sound of a pen scraping on paper gradually woke you up.

Shit.

You meant to sleep only a few hours and have Hotch’s office as it was before he got here; pretend you’d gotten there earlier than everyone. You must’ve slept through your alarm.

You slowly squinted your eyes open and caught Hotch sitting at his desk, brows low in deep thought.

How long has he been there?

“Hotch.” You rubbed your eyes and sat upright. “Hi. Sorry, I— What time is it?”

“Eight-thirty,” he answered, never taking his eyes off the file.

So you didn’t sleep through your alarm.

“When did you get here? I didn’t hear you.”

“A few minutes ago.” He put the pen down and lifted his head to look at you. His face softened.

He didn’t seem upset about you invading his office but you still felt the need to explain yourself. “I, uh, stayed until late last night and I was too sleepy to drive and—” You realized mid-sentence how bad you were lying.

But he let you.

“It’s not a problem, you can always sleep here. As long as it’s not already taken.” He stared at you for a moment, rubbing his thumb with the rest of his fingers. You wondered how bad you looked. How bad everything seemed. “It has a foldable seat,” was all he said, gesturing at the couch. “There’s a blanket under it.”

“Oh, thanks. It wasn’t that cold.” You braced yourself.

It was cold now.

“You can sleep for another hour,” he added.

“We don’t have a case?”

“No.” He glanced at the open door and then back at you. “Not yet anyway.”

Then why was he here so early?

You smiled at him and began to gather your things anyway. “Thank you, but I still should go. I’m… invading your space.”

“Oh, please. Don’t worry about it,” he said before going back to work on his paper.

Even if he didn’t mind you sleeping there while he worked, you did. You stood up, stretched your neck a bit, and began to fold all of your clothes, putting them back in your bag.

You felt his eyes on you every once in a while and just when you grabbed the evidence of your late night—the empty glass of scotch—he asked, “Is everything alright?”

You looked at him. There was that soft look again.

“Yeah, I just…” you trailed off, fidgeting with your now invisible ring. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

He didn’t have to say anything. He knew. You knew he knew just by that look he gave you. Wise. Emphatic. The ‘I’ve been there before’ look.

He opened his mouth to add something, but his phone buzzed on the table, making him tear his eyes off you. He sighed as his brows lowered.

“Now we have a case?” You asked and he nodded. “I’ll put on some work-appropriate clothes, then.” You looked down at your pajamas.

“Take your time. We’ll meet in thirty.”

The jet took off and the clouds were never-ending.

Two women had been abducted (and murdered) already in Fort Myers before you were invited to investigate. Victimology and M.O. were discussed and you barely said a thing. Your mind kept wandering off to the night before and how miserable you felt. The phantom of betrayal was still heavy on your shoulders.

Hotch sat next to you during the three-hour flight, and the only thing he said to you that wasn’t work-related was: ‘Would you like some coffee’, to which you gladly accepted. His eyes, though, kept asking if you were okay.

Minutes before the jet touched the ground, your phone caught some signal and began to buzz uncontrollably against the table. You already knew who it was so you didn’t bother to glance at the screen, you just sighed in annoyance and put your phone in your pocket. You felt Hotch’s eyes on you again and you tried your best to ignore him.

Right now, he was your boss, not your friend.

The moment the jet doors opened, the dense, humid air stuck to your skin. Everyone groaned in annoyance.

“Ugh, I hate Florida,” Emily commented.

You didn’t mind it. You needed a bit of heat and sun, hoping they’d woosh away the gray cloud over your head.

Hotch assigned everyone’s tasks for the day and partnered you up with Morgan to interview the victims’ families. Smart move. It was known that Morgan was your person inside the team, and even if he didn’t know about your heartbreak right now, he’d surely find out soon after spending the day with you. That’s what Hotch wanted. For you to have someone to talk to if you wanted.

You would’ve preferred to be out in the field instead of inside an office, that way you’d have more distractions. Right now, as you talked to one of the victim’s husbands, your only distraction was your phone. Your ex started to call you again and spam-texting you. He was getting on your nerves and you couldn’t quite focus on your job. The one that you considered was your forte—when it came to good people.

These men weren’t good people. They were exactly like your ex.

And they got on your nerves.

Morgan shot you a frown as he walked the last person out of the office, “What’s going on with you? You almost punched the guy.” He gestured over his shoulder with his thumb.

“I would’ve if you hadn’t caught me.” You rolled your eyes.

“I’m being dead serious, what’s going on with you?”

“He called his dead wife a whore, Morgan.”

“I’m not just talking about this. All morning you’ve been acting weird.”

There was his big brother attitude.

You sighed, shaking your head. You couldn’t not tell him. So you told him. Some of it. “Zac and I are fighting. He keeps calling but I’m not gonna answer yet. He’s gonna have to wait until I’m back.”

“What did he do?” He asked, brows shooting up with concern.

You walked to the small coffee station the sheriff had set up for the team. “We’re just fighting.” You poured yourself some coffee. You couldn’t tell him everything. He was friends with Zac—and a really good one.

“I don’t buy that,” Morgan insisted. “I know what your fights look like. This isn’t a fight over how he didn’t do the dishes.”

You hated how well he knew you. You and Zac. It was sad to think there wouldn’t be any more double dates with him and Savannah.

“I don’t want to talk about it yet,” you merely said.

Morgan let out a huff and glared at you in silence. “Alright.”

He respected you and didn’t bug you any more about it. And neither did Zac, thankfully. The messages and phone calls stopped but even then, you couldn’t get your mind off whatever he wanted to say.

The day went by painfully slowly. Not many leads were found and the unsub seemed to have gone dormant, which meant the investigation was done for the day.

Hotch, JJ, and Rossi were still finishing up a few things with the sheriff, and you decided to wait for them outside, sitting on the sidewalk. There was a dinner reservation at the hotel at nine. It was thirteen past nine and you’d been running on five cups of coffee.

Your stomach rumbled.

Steps came from behind. Morgan silently sat next to you and handed you a protein bar. He sat close, his arm touching yours. “Zac called me.”

“Good for him.” You didn’t bother to look at him. Instead, you began to pick your nails. You weren’t hungry anymore.

“And he told me.” Derek placed one hand over yours, stopping you from destroying your nails.

You shot him a look. “What did he tell you?” You asked because you didn’t think Zac would rat himself out to Morgan.

“I’m on your side,” he said. “He’s my friend, but you’re my sister. He’s dead to me now.” He quirked his brows.

“What did he tell you, Morgan?”

“That you caught him cheating.”

The disappointment on his face was as clear as the night sky.

You tore your eyes off him and sighed.

“I was so stupid.” You rubbed your forehead. “I caught him in lies multiple times and I brushed them all off. Like a part of me wanted that to happen,” you confessed.

“What do you mean? That you didn’t want to marry him?”

“I… I don’t know.” You looked back at Derek. Now that the truth was out you needed to talk about it. Maybe that way you could realize it was all your fault. “I loved him, and he was a great guy but at some point, after the engagement and before the lies, I stopped seeing a future with him. So I guess it’s my fau—”

“Nuh-uh.” Derek interrupted you, placing a finger over your lips. “He did this,” then booped your nose.

You couldn't help but smile. “Yeah but I stopped being… a girlfriend to him,” you explained, moving your hands around to make your point. “I came home late, he’d wait for me with dinner but I just… stopped seeing him.” You sighed. It really was your fault to some extent now that you talked about it. “He sought the attention I stopped giving him on someone else. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want… to be the person who just works and can’t balance it with personal life.”

“It’s tough.”

“Yeah, but you seem to make it work with Savannah.” You nudged his arm.

They had the kind of love you aspired to have one day.

“It took us a while, but we made it work. Still do. It’s a good thing she also has a time-consuming job. She just gets it. But it takes a lot of effort from both parties.”

You nodded in agreement. “Zac and I are over. This isn’t something we can talk about and get through and forget or forgive. He betrayed me.”

Derek hung one arm over your shoulder and kissed your temple. “I know.”

“At least I don’t have to plan a wedding anymore. It seems exhausting.”

“Oh, believe me, it is.”

You gasped and pulled away to look at him. He had a grin on his face now. That’s what you needed. A smile from him even if it made you forget for just a moment. “What? What does that mean? Did you propose?!”

“Whoa, whoa.” Emily came from behind and joined the conversation right away, standing in front of you. “Who’s proposing?”

“Morgan,” you were quick to respond. Anything to avoid anyone else knowing you’d been cheated on.

“Shhh!” He stood up, signaling you both to shut up with a finger over his lips and looking around to make sure no one else heard. “I’m planning to, alright. Don't…. Freak out. She can say no.”

“She’d be silly to say no,” Emily laughed a little. “Are you kidding?”

“You’re already planning the wedding,” you laughed too while standing up. “Don’t pretend you expect her to say no.”

“Of course, she’s gonna say yes.” Derek grinned. “I’m just playin’.”

On the way to the hotel, the team split into two SUVs and Hotch kept glancing at you through the rearview mirror at every red light and stop sign, with that know-it-all look, a pinch of concern. He was worried about you (and soon to be pissed for the stunt you pulled earlier).

You got a triple room with Emily and JJ and you didn’t give them a chance to make any conversation with them since dinner was canceled. You threw your bag over your bed and headed to the rooftop. You figured it’d be the only place none of the team would be. You needed fresh air, and you felt ready to talk to Zac. You reached the rooftop and pulled out your phone. Just the thought of hearing his voice tightened your throat. But you had to. You needed to know what he had to say.

You dialed his number and some agonizing butterflies still managed to flap their wings at the pit of your stomach with that first ‘hey’ on the other line. Tears welled up in your eyes. Your only witness was the moon hanging above and she wouldn’t judge you, so you finally allowed yourself to feel it.

His voice was a stab to your heart and a soft sob got caged in your throat. He said he was sorry, that he missed you, that he loved you. That you will always be the love of his life and that he knew he’d lost you. You muffled your sobs against your hand and once he was done talking, all you could reply was ‘okay’.

Then you hung up.

“Damn it.” You let your phone slip through your fingers to cover your eyes with one hand while you braced yourself with the other arm.

You stood there—for who knows how long—until a pair of unfamiliar arms enveloped you from the front. Their scent, though, was like home—faint and woody bathing you whole. You nestled against their chest and it only made you cry even more.

“Shh. It’s okay.”

Hotch’s voice snapped the knife out of your chest and he wasn’t about to let you bleed out. With one hand he caressed the back of your head, giving you soft scratches. The other rubbed your upper back with short and tender strokes. You weren’t planning on crumbling and you surely didn’t expect Hotch to be the one comforting you, but it felt right. You needed a hug and a gentle voice telling you it was okay to feel like this.

Your entire relationship flashed before your eyes. You were mourning its death, after all., and there was no going back from it. You wouldn’t do that to yourself and had to accept that his laugh would eventually fade away from your memory and his eyes would no longer shine because of you—they haven’t for a while.

You peeled yourself from Hotch’s chest and noticed how his shirt was damp with your tears.

“Sorry, I—” you sniffed; looked up at him.

His soft eyes scanned your face for a moment. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ they asked, a sweet frown taking over his face.

“You look like you need a drink,” he said instead.

You chuckled, nodding, even when the after-crying headache was creeping up on you. You would’ve taken the elevator to the first floor, but Hotch guided you through the staircase.

“Were you up there when I got there?” you asked him.

“No, I went there to clear my head and… found you standing there.”

After all these years working with him, he was still the hardest to read. “Is something bugging you?” you asked him.

“No.”

Okay, then. You understood it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about (with you).

You reached the first floor and headed to the bar. It wasn’t crowded, and Rossi was already there. You two joined him, each at either side of him.

“Ah, FBI agents,” Rossi told the bartender, taking a sip of his drink. “You’re not gonna interrogate me, are you?” he then asked you two.

“I don’t know. Should we?” Hotch asked with a tint of humor.

“You should interrogate her.” He gestured at you by twitching his mouth in your direction. “I heard she almost punched one of the victim’s husbands.”

“Thanks, Rossi.” You glared at him, and he couldn’t have cared less.

“Is that true?” Hotch asked you, leaning a bit forward to glance at you over Rossi, even when the wall in front of you was a whole mirror.

“Goodnight, kid.” Rossi slid off his stool. “Night Hotch. Keep an eye on her.”

“Great.” You glared at him again. “Just throw the grenade and run away.” He just laughed and waved a dismissive hand. He had clearly had quite a few drinks so you couldn’t blame him much.

“Is that true?” Hotch asked again.

“He was a jerk,” you responded, sipping on your drink.

“That has nothing to do with it. Jerk or not, you can’t be acting like that.” His frown grew strong but his voice remained as soft as when he was comforting you moments earlier.

“He cheated on her, Hotch.” You shot him a look through the mirror. “That’s why she went out and got abducted. Murdered.”

“I understand that, but we push our feelings aside, you know that.”

“I know.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Just… let it go, please. You know I won’t do it again.”

“Of course you won’t.” He took a short sip of his drink and looked forward, making eye contact with you through the mirror. “You’d be off the case if you pull something like that again.”

A light bulb lit up over your head right then.

“Do you think that’s why the unsub is targeting the victims?” You grabbed his forearm with excitement. “Because they got cheated on?”

You were right and your tragedy helped save the last woman the unsub had abducted. You wrapped up the case with a bittersweet taste.

On the flight home, Morgan sat next to you, and for some reason, you wished Hotch had sat there.

You searched for him on the jet and he’d chosen to sit farther back. You wanted to thank him for comforting you when he didn’t have to, and as if he’d read your mind—

Good job today—He texted—I know this was a particularly difficult case for you.

You lifted your head and caught him looking at you. You smiled at him as a response.

It was difficult, but it also helped you heal a little.

Morgan nudged your arm gently, gesturing for you to take your headphones off.

“Hm?” you raised your brows.

“Are you planning on going home now?”

You sighed. “I have to.”

“You can stay with me for a few days. Savannah would be thrilled to have you over.”

“Thank you but I think that’d make me feel… small? I have to see him eventually. And I’d rather get it over with soon.” You smiled at him. “After that conversation, though, I’m not sure if I’ll have a place to stay so I’ll let you know if I need a place to crash for the night.”

“I’ll be there, then.”

When you made it to your place, Zac was waiting for you with dinner. You would’ve laughed, but you were too exhausted to even smile at him.

“I’m just here to get my things,” you said, walking past him to your room.

You smelled fresh paint on your way there, and you really laughed then. He’d repainted the whole thing. Did he think changing the wall color would make you forget what happened there?

“It’s your favorite color.” Zac stood at the door.

“You’re unbelievable.” You scoffed.

You threw all your belongings in two suitcases and left.

To never come back.

“You’re getting discharged.” Hotch drew open the curtain of your cubicle.

“What? What about Morgan?” You sat upright, keeping the ice close to the bump on your head. You’d been in a car crash in the middle of a prosecution. “Is he okay?”

“He’s fine. He just dislocated his shoulder.”

“Well, the doctor said I can’t fly, let alone drive.” You rolled your eyes. “So who’s driving me back to Quantico?”

“I am.” You couldn’t help but let out a huff. “Yeah, I’m not excited about it either.”

“It’s seventeen hours, Hotch. You don’t have to. I’m sure I can take an overnight bus or something.”

“You’re not taking any bus. You got a brain bleed. Someone’s gotta be there if something happens.” He glared at you. “Gather your things. I’ll bring the car. A nurse will walk you out.”

Your things were only your badge and gun. Everything else was still at the hotel, so you assumed you were going to make a stop there before hitting the road back to Quantico.

You were officially discharged by your doctor minutes later and you’d underestimated Hotch’s efficiency. He’d already gone to the hotel to get your things. He even bought snacks—your favorite snacks.

You reclined your seat and threw a blanket over you. Your head was much better but it still hurt despite you being high on painkillers.

“Are you cold? Do you want me to turn the heater on?”

“Not cold.” You assured him. You just wanted to make yourself cozy. “Hotch, I don’t know if I’m gonna handle a seventeen-hour drive.”

“I know.” He gave you a quick glance. “I don’t think I will either. We’ll make a stop if you need to. Just let me know.”

You dozed off and on during the first two hours—your eyes darting to Hotch’s firm hands on the steering wheel—until it started raining. Normally, you would’ve been on high alert since you weren’t a fan of driving when it rained, but it was Hotch who was driving. And he was a great driver.

The sound of the thick drops hitting the windshield turned out to be a perfect lullaby and helped you fall into a deep and cozy slumber. A dream began to take over your mind at some point but it didn’t become one entirely.

Loud noises dragged you out of it.

You blinked your eyes open. You were parked on the side road, and the rain wasn’t normal rain anymore. It was loud, hitting the rooftop like daggers. You feared it might fall through.

“Are those hailstones?” You adjusted the seat back straight.

“Not yet,” Hotch responded. “But we can’t keep driving like this. I can barely see past the hood. It’s too dangerous.”

“I’m no weather expert but I’m sure there’s a storm coming.”

Hotch nodded in agreement. “We’ll have to make an emergency stop.” He pulled out his phone and typed something. “There’s a motel 3 miles away. We can spend a few hours there until the storm passes.”

“You just said it’s dangerous to keep driving.”

“It’s more dangerous to stay here or on the side of the road. Plus you need to rest. It’s been a long drive already.”

Long? You glanced at the clock on the radio.

“It’s been six hours already?!” Your eyes widened.

It didn’t feel like it, though.

“You snored half of it.” He teased, his soft dimples making their first appearance of the night.

“I did not,” you laughed a little.

You knew he was just kidding, but you clearly needed those hours of deep sleep. Your headache was much better now.

Hotch kept the blinkers on as he started driving again, slowly until the map on his phone signaled him to turn right.

There was a blue-light vacancy sign glitching.

“This is it?” you asked. The place looked straight out of a horror film and the dark sky didn’t help.

“You stay here,” Hotch ordered. “I’ll check if they have any rooms.”

You didn’t disagree and locked the doors once he stepped out. Just in case.

Minutes later, your phone buzzed.

There’s only one room available, Hotch texted you.

Two beds? you texted back right away.

King, he replied.

Great. It was either sharing a bed with Hotch or staying in the car.

I don’t mind if you don’t, you texted. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Then you added, we’ll only be here a few hours until the rain stops, right?

Yes. Don’t move. I’ll come get you, he replied.

You gathered your things within reach, as gently as possible so your brain wouldn’t get all scrambled by sudden movements and unlocked the doors for Hotch.

He opened the door and ducked his head inside. “It’s the farthest room,” he raised his voice over the loud rain.

“That’s fine,” you matched his tone. “Let’s make one trip. I can carry my things.”

“You sure?” he frowned in an attempt to keep the rain out of his eyes.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” You nodded and stepped out of the car.

Once you had your things and Hotch had his, he took the lead with you walking fast behind him with your head low. You both were already drenched so there was no point in running.

The room was better than what you expected. It welcomed you with warm air, one bed, a small desk facing the window, an old TV, and a bathroom. They even had a small station with a kettle and tea/coffee, and the heater was on

You stripped out some of your clothes right next to the heater and changed your muddy shoes for your slippers.

“Do you mind if I take the bathroom first?” You asked him.

“Not at all,” Hotch replied, ridding himself of some damp clothes.

You walked past him with your bag and locked yourself in the bathroom. You unlocked it right away. What if you passed out? It was going to be a quick shower to regulate your body temperature, but with a brain injury, you never knew.

You were in and out of it in less than ten minutes and Hotch had already changed his clothes to sweatpants and a white t-shirt. It was always so strange seeing him out of his suits.

“Are you hungry?” He asked, hanging his clothes on the improvised drying rack he made out of the single chair and desk and placing it close to the heater.

“A little.” You sat on the left side of the bed.

Hotch grabbed the snack bag and displayed what he’d bought over the bed. Along with your favorite snacks were some fruits and two instant noodle soups. The first time you pulled out one of those, Reid told you all about them and how they were some of the most cancerous foods there could be, but they were a guilty pleasure and you didn’t eat them often.

“Take your pick,” he said. “I’ll take a shower now.”

He was being a good caretaker to you and you trusted him so all you had to do today and tomorrow was obey him. You could shut your brain down when Hotch was around.

You turned the TV on to have some background noise and put on the news. The weather had been catastrophic already in some parts and they said it was going to last at least eight more hours. It was 8 pm so you didn’t mind waiting all night for it to pass. It was a cozy room, after all.

You prepared yourself the instant soup and sat cross-legged on the bed. Your phone buzzed against the mattress.

How’s your head? Morgan texted.

Better. Your shoulder?

I have a good doctor at home so I’ll be alright. How’s the trip going?

The sky is falling here. We had to make a stop for the night.

Sharing a room with the boss? ;)

You didn’t know why he would say that or why you would lie about your answer, but you lied.

Of course not! We’re gonna wait for the rain to pass before hitting the road again.

You hit send right when Hotch came out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel.

You put the phone down. “There’s still hot water in the kettle.”

You rarely saw him eat, and since all he bought were things you liked, you assumed he liked them too. He prepared his soup as well and sat on the other side of the bed.

“It looks pretty bad.” He glanced at the TV.

“They said it’s gonna last all night.”

Something was odd about him now. Maybe it was the fatigue of the trip that hit him after the shower. But he kept looking at his phone and putting it down. You saw him clench his jaw more than once.

“Everything okay?” You had to ask.

He gave you a look.

Everything was not okay.

He hesitated a moment, twisting the noodles with his fork but never taking a bite.

“Beth got a job offer in Hong Kong.” Oh. “And she’s boarding the flight now.” Oh, no. “She asked my opinion before taking the job offer.” He smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Of course, I encouraged her to take it. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”

You didn’t want him to regret his choice about encouraging her—she put him between a rock and a hard place—but you had a string of questions about it. What if she asked for his opinion because she wanted to stay and settle, but needed him to say it?

“So you let her go,” you said instead and he nodded. “How’s Jack handling it?”

“She talked to him, we took him to Orlando for the weekend and he understood it but”—he sighed—“I know it’s been hard on him, too.” You couldn’t imagine how his son was feeling. He was a kid and he’d lost someone, too. “But we ended it on good terms.” He raised his brows.

“Why did you offer to drive me home?” You asked. “You could be there with her by now. At the airport.”

“We said our goodbyes.” He shook his head and looked down. “It would’ve made it more painful.”

You hummed in agreement. “They say if you love someone, you let them go. If they come back, it means they’re truly yours.” He looked at you. “She could come back.”

His eyes were glassy. For some reason, you felt he was thinking about Haley, too. He was once again losing someone he loved—by choice this time but losing her nonetheless.

“Sorry,” he sort of laughed. “I’m talking about my heartbreak when…”

When you were recently heartbroken too.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m—”

“Fine,” he finished your sentence. “Of course you are.”

“I’m over it and I laugh about it now. I wasted three years of my life. My good years.” You chucked. “It's funny now.”

“It’s not. And you still have a few more good years ahead of you?” He commented, confused.

You talked as if your youth was already over but you had a good reason. “Yeah, but I’m not gonna be as hot as I was when I met him.” He smirked. “He went for a younger woman.” You then added.

“Younger?” He raised his brows.

“I know. I think that’s why I feel old. But she was a 25-year-old trainee.”

“That’s not much younger than you.”

“You flatter me.” You let out a small laugh. “I just… Why do men always go for the younger woman?”

He took a subtle deep breath. “I—“

“Generally speaking,” you added. “Men who cheat go for a younger woman.”

“I don’t know but I’m sure Reid can give you all the statistics about it.”

“Yeah,” you scoffed. “I don’t wanna hear them.”

You let out a yawn, and soon Hotch did too. You two agreed in silence it was time for bed already.

“It’s not cold in here so I’ll sleep over the bed covers,” he commented.

“Hotch, you don’t have to. I don’t mind, honestly. I’ve shared beds with most of our team.”

“Alright,” he let out a small laugh, raising his brows.

The rain stopped around 5 am and within thirty minutes you both were up and ready to hit the road again. There were ten hours ahead of you and this time you didn’t feel the need to sleep through it. You slept like a baby last night and also, talking to Hotch was really nice, and he seemed well-rested too.

You stopped for a quick breakfast two hours in and had it in the car to optimize time. Throughout the drive, there were talks about the landscapes and weather and he’d throw in some random stories about his brother, or Haley and Jack when something reminded him of them.

Your favorite was how he and Jack had a tradition whenever it rained: chocolate chip cookies. And how Jack had already decided that he was going to do the same with his kids one day.

And the more the clock ticked, the more you wished he’d slow down his speed (even when he was going just below the limit). You didn’t want the trip to end, but it had to eventually.

Around 3 pm. Hotch was dropping you off at your place.

“It’s a nice neighborhood,” he commented. Only Derek had had the chance to visit your new place.

“It is. It’s mostly old people that live here so it’s very quiet all the time.” You smiled. Silence filled the air for a moment. You missed him already. “Hey, I know we’re both exhausted but… would you like to come in? We can make some decent lunch.”

Hotch took a subtle deep breath. “I would. I’d love to but… Jack’s waiting for me. I was supposed to arrive yesterday and he was excited to see me. I… I’m picking him up at school after this.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” You gulped. Stupid.

Why did you feel nervous around him all of a sudden?

“Maybe some other time?” He asked.

Your stomach fluttered.

“Definitely.”

Spencer was turning 33, and Penelope thought throwing him a surprise birthday party was a good idea. She asked everyone to show up earlier than usual to decorate a conference room. You were the first one to show, then one by one everyone arrived.

The only one you wanted to see walking through the door, though, wasn’t the birthday boy. It was Hotch.

After the gloomy night at the motel, Hotch became a permanent thought. You didn’t know if it was because he took such good care of you, or because he trusted you to tell you a personal thing—or both—but since that night, something changed.

You’d always admired him, but this was more than that. Your cheeks grew warm whenever he looked at you. You started to feel like a schoolgirl with a crush. And you felt ridiculous. He was your boss, he’d been your boss for five years so why had your feelings changed?

The truth was, you’d always had certain feelings for him. Nothing ever happened before because you met him as a divorced man, who only had time for his kid and his job, so at the time, besides your boss, he was a nice face to look at (a very nice face). Then Haley's death came and he shut himself down, drowning himself in work. You started dating Zac soon after, then you didn’t have eyes for Hotch anymore. He became who he was: your boss.

Now, that both were single, your true feelings for him were coming afloat. Of course, you didn’t let them show; how your stomach fluttered at his sudden presence and constant glances. You insisted those were in your head, that he’d always looked at you the same amount or the same way, but when the attraction is reciprocated, there’s a spark.

That spark almost lit up a fire in your chest when he finally showed up. The lights were off, but you’d recognize his silhouette anywhere, and he was walking up to you.

“Hey,” he whispered, standing next to you.

“You’re late,” you whispered back.

“Is Reid here?”

“No, but we did all the work.”

“I’m… the boss for a reason.”

You held back a laugh. Thank god it was dark.

“Shhh, there he comes!” Penelope whispered loudly.

Everyone moved to their assigned spot and your hand accidentally brushed his in the process. “Sorry.”

It’s okay, he whispered.

That accidental touch was the first of many not-so-accidental.

You tried to convince yourself it was all in your head, but he looked at you, paid attention, listened to every word you had to say. He saw right through you.

There weren’t many moments outside work, though, and that confused you even more. You couldn't ask him to see each other casually. It wasn’t something you or he did, and it made you wonder. You wondered. Always. Every day. Every hour. Every time you looked at him you wondered what was going through his mind.

Weeks went by where unspoken words were said. Your feet itched to go to his office every time you knew he was going to stay until late. To offer him some coffee, or ask him if he needed help with something but all you always ever did was turn in your reports and linger there for a second or two, hoping he’d ask you to stay.

And tonight was no exception. You had your excuse to stay late this time, though. A doctor's appointment forced you to clock in late, and for that, you had to stay to meet your weekly worked hours.

Everyone had left, even the janitors.

Everyone except for Hotch, of course.

You glanced at your watch when you finally finished your last report. It wasn’t even an appropriate time to have dinner. You were dreaming of your bathtub and a glass of wine with some cheese.

You stacked your folders and adjusted your skirt before going to Hotch's office to hand them in. You knocked three times and waited for his Come in! to enter the room.

You walked in and he wasn’t at his desk as he usually was. He was on his couch, with only the lamp lights on; he’d removed his jacket and had his sleeves rolled up right below his elbows.

“Hey, I… I finished my reports.”

He looked at you—stared. You swore a faint smile was curling the corner of his lips. “Toss them on my desk.”

You slowly walked in and did as he said. “Are you… leaving soon?” you clasped your hands behind you.

“I don’t think so.”

“Is there… something I can help you with?” You gestured at the folder he was holding.

He paused for a second before replying, “Yes, actually.” He scooted to give you space on the couch. “Close the door.”

You did as he said and sat next to him, but not quite close. He put the folder on the coffee table and spread all the documents, filling in every gap.

“Choose,” he said.

You laughed. “What?”

“Our next case.”

“Oh, I’m not… I don’t think I’m qualified to do that, am I?”

“There’s a reason I’m asking you to choose.” He raised his brows to make his point.

Your eyes flickered between pictures and reports. Neither was worse than the other. “Well, it’s not like I can choose, right? You have to… study each one of these murders to decide which one has more priority. Which is… a bit twisted. As if one is less important than the other.”

“It’s hard.”

“And you do it every time.”

Hotch nodded. “JJ used to do it when she was the liaison. Now she still does when I can’t or ask her to since she has the right criteria, but it’s on me now.” He raised his brows as he spoke.

Your eyes were stuck on his lips, a sudden urge to kiss him brewing in your chest.

“I don’t know how you do your job without breaking down sometimes,” you said. He smiled, scanning your face up and down. God, you really wanted to kiss him. “I mean your unit chief job.” You tore your eyes off him and adjusted yourself a bit farther on the couch. You had the perfect view of the side of his head.

Hotch leaned forward resting his elbows over his knees and lowered his head. “It’s… the one thing I’m good at.”

“Not the only thing,” you let out a breathy laugh. He turned to you, raising his brows as if he were waiting for you to mention another thing he was good at. “You’re a great dad, Hotch,” you said without hesitation.

“I,” he licked his lips. “I could be better.”

“We all could be better at everything, doesn’t mean we’re bad at it.”

Hotch sighed. “You’re right.”

“You’re also… good at sports?”

“Stop.” He chuckled, lowering his head once again.

You rubbed his back by impulse, and you withdrew it right away as you felt him tense up. Your hand tingled at that brief contact and it burnt when he reached for it and enveloped it with his large hand. Your heart rate skyrocketed and all you could hear was your pulse in your ears (not that any of you was saying anything anymore).

He turned his head to you, adjusting farther back so his back would rest on the couch. Your shoulders touched now, and his hand was still on yours and this time, his thumb caressed your knuckles, and his eyes were stuck on your face.

The urge to kiss him was flush against your skin.

“You should go home,” he said, swallowing thickly. “It’s late.”

“Yeah,” you licked your lips. “I really should.”

He let go of your hand and with the same one, you caressed the side of his head where a few satly strands of hair were gloriously shining. You put the short pieces behind his ear and cradled his face. You held your breath. What the hell were you doing?

A pained frown took over his face and he shut his eyes for a second. You wanted to kiss the frown away so you leaned, kissing his cheek. He tilted his face until the tip of your nose was touching his.

His shaky breath ghosted your lips.

Would a kiss on the lips be so bad?

You were closing the gap before you thought about the answer. Your lips touched—a soft peck—and there was barely a sound when you pulled away.

“I’m sorry I”— You placed your fingers over your lips right away.

Hotch wasn’t giving you any signs of anything at all and panic began to take over you.

God, what have you done?

Your name came out of his mouth in a whisper filled with longing. He was leaning closer. He studied your face from up close as he paused. His nostrils flared and he licked his bottom lip before going for a kiss. Just as tender as yours.

At first.

One of his hands found a spot on the side of your thigh while the other went to the back of your neck, bringing you closer and allowing the kiss to intensify. His chin scraped yours with his barely noticeable beard and his lips were gentle despite his sudden urge.

Nothing could’ve prepared you for this—him kissing you back or reciprocating any sign of affection. But he was, and he was getting so into it his tongue was already teasing yours.

A small moan escaped you when he opened his mouth a bit more. Your breathing quickened with each kiss and when your tongues finally tangled together, you lost it.

“C’mere.” He murmured against your lips.

You hopped on his lap and gave yourself in. You wrapped your arms around his neck tight and pressed your hips down. It became sloppy with each kiss already and only heavy breathing filled the room. His heavy breathing.

He was so needy for you.

This wasn’t how you expected your night to go, but you were ecstatic. No matter how far this went, it already was much better than your bathtub.

You let go of his lips for a second. You needed to catch some air.

“Aaron.”

You’d never called him by his first name. Never, and right then you wished you’d done it sooner. It seemed to have awakened something in him. He groaned into another kiss and grabbed your hips tightly, encouraging you to move them.

He liked it. He loved it.

You obeyed, grinding him and going back for another kiss. His hands were still shy, hesitantly resting at the curves of your hips. You pressed your hips down. His hard bulge was right there. You couldn’t help but bite his bottom lip, cupping his face harshly with both hands as if he could go anywhere. He was a prisoner of your body; you had him caged with your legs and arms and he didn’t seem to mind at all.

His hands raked down your curves, lower on either side of your hips and slowly traveled down, cupping your ass and guiding you back and forth.

Hotch’s lap was heaven on earth.

You moaned into a wetter kiss, tongues gliding together. You were embarrassingly loud now. He smiled against your lips.

“Sorry.” You let out a small, embarrassed laugh, pressing your foreheads together.

His chest was heaving in and out as he tried to regulate his breathing. His hands went up to your lower back and he pulled you close into a tight and tender hug.

A sudden clarity hit you. This shouldn’t have happened. He was your boss for fucks sake. You were sure, that once you came out of his office, you would lose your job. The one you fought so hard for.

“I… I have to go.” You slid off his lap and stood in front of him, adjusting your skirt.

He was staring up at you through his dark lashes and you couldn’t look at him without feeling embarrassed. You wiped your lips clean and took a few steps back.

“I am so sorry this—” You took a few more steps backward on your way to the door and turned all the way, giving him your back.

Hotch stood up, his broad silhouette taking a few steps towards you. He said your name with his deep, deep, oh-so-deep voice as your hand touched the knob. He was right behind you now, his torso glued to your back and his arms wrapped around your waist.

You shut your eyes as he inhaled your hair.

You locked the door.

“Are you sure?” he murmured next to your ear.

All you could do was nod.

He flipped you around by your hips, capturing your mouth, body, and soul. This time he groaned like an animal, hungry for you. God, he was desperate and your entire body fluttered. Your knees when weak right when he scooped you by your thighs and walked with you towards his desk, plopping you there while knocking everything down with one hand.

No words were necessary. His hands talked for him and the kiss was never-ending. You were a fucking mess already. You were at his will, so open to let him do anything he wanted with you.

To you.

The air was getting hotter and the layers of clothes began to bother you. His body heat and breath were to blame. He was everywhere.

He sneaked one hand in between your legs and gripped your inner thigh, his thick fingers sinking into your flesh. You squirmed over the wood, encouraging him to go a little higher. He did, the tip of his fingers ghosting your panties. They were damp with your arousal already (you’d felt it leak through you when you were kissing on the couch), and by the way he smiled, he could feel it. He lifted your skirt up to your waist and pressed himself onto you, his erection finding your cunt like a magnet. He cursed under his breath, looking down at where your bodies touched the most. But not quite.

You wanted to touch him, feel how hard he was. You palmed his thick bulge and gulped. Your mouth went dry as you began to massage the outline of his erection while making eye contact, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth.

“You’re driving me crazy,” he whispered.

There were so many clothes in the way, making it hard to focus but then he grabbed your jaw and looked into your eyes and whatever was about to come, was the best thing that would ever happen to you.

He sneaked his fingers from the side of your panties, the wet sound of your arousal against his fingers was embarrassing. But it made him drop his head to your shoulder. He cursed again and began to massage you, spreading your arousal all over with his thick fingers. Your cunt clenched, desperate to have him inside you. You cursed under your breath with pleasure as his fingers found your wet entrance. He made circular motions without entering, teasing you.

He was driving you insane, too.

“Hotch,” you murmured, I need you, you wanted to say, but he shushed you. Gently. Tenderly. Shushed you with an open-mouth kiss.

You whimpered against his mouth and with clumsy hands, undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants, sneaking your hand inside to touch his length. Finally. You whined again at that first touch. His skin was burning.

“Would you fuck me?” you whispered, wrapping your fingers around his length. They barely covered him.

“Of course, sweetheart. Just give me a minute. Let me feel you.”

He moved his fingers up and down between your wet folds, feeling you as he’d said. He knew exactly what he was doing, he was skilled, gentle and put the perfect amount of pressure.

But you were growing desperate.

“Please, Hotch.”

He didn’t give you any warning and in one fell swoop, he had his length out. Fuck. His cock stood on its own—thick and long—so close to your cunt. The tip glistened with his arousal.

“Scoot to the edge,” he ordered.

You did as he said and he lined himself at your entrance and barely pushed the head inside. You both let out a quiet moan at the same time.

God, it felt good. He felt good. You both looked down and watched as he slowly entered, inch by inch until he was all the way inside. He looked at you then and you lost it.

Aaron Hotchner was fucking you. Aaron Hotchner, whom you admired and respected. Aaron Hotchner, the man who has been messing with your head these past few months.

This was an eye-opening experience. Paradise on earth. How have you gone so many years without him? New feelings were brewing in your chest with each thrust, each stare, and each kiss.

You gripped the back of his head and pulled him closer as he began to move, rocking his hips back and forth. You’d milked his dark and thick curls with your arousal already, making each slam sticky to your skin.

His cock was exquisite, spreading you open and reaching every right spot.

“You feel so good, fuck, fuck, fuck.” You couldn’t resist.

He kept fucking you until your butt went numb, you needed to finish but you didn’t want this to end. Ever

You showed your discomfort by adjusting over the desk.

Bend over, he whispered on your lips.

He kissed you one last time before you hopped off the desk and obeyed, bending over his desk and glancing at him over your shoulder, ready to take him. He squeezed your ass with both hands and lined himself again. He teased you, pulling it out and moving it up and down. You let out a needy hum, wiggling your ass, begging for his cock.

He entered again and this time, he was ruthless. He slammed into you, hard. Then again. And again. Over and over until the only sound in the room was the clash of skin against skin. You had to muffle your moans—and smile—by biting your forearm.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. God, Aaron Hotchener fucked good. So good you were seeing stars already and so close to grazing the sky.

He bent down too for a moment just to bring you up close into a hug. “Come here.” You already knew he liked having you close.

He sneaked one hand from the front and massaged your clit as his thrust became sloppy. You threw your head back to his shoulder, and he captured the underside of your chin between his teeth.

This was it. The beginning of an addiction you never wanted to rid yourself of.

There were a few more slams before he came. Hard. He was a vocal man. Grunting and groaning and cursing quietly as his cock twitched inside you.

Your legs were shaking, and if it wasn’t because he was holding you, you were sure you would’ve fallen to your knees. And he didn’t let go of you for a moment, his cock still inside you.

You needed to know what he was thinking, see his face.

You took a sharp breath to speak, but he slipped his cock out and you gasped. His cum dripped down.

“Sorry,” he murmured and was quick to clean you with a tissue.

You finally turned around and caught a look on his face you hadn’t seen before. It wasn’t guilt. It wasn’t disappointment. But it wasn’t a positive thing.

“This“—he began, buttoning his pants—“changes everything.” He glared at you.

You adjusted your skirt and pressed your lips together. “I know.”

“And it can’t happen ever again.” Your heart dropped to your stomach for a second as he added, “Not here.” A faint smirk tugged at the corner of his lip

You pressed your lips together, hiding a smile.

“Yes, sir. Won’t happen again.” You walked up to him, placing your palm flat over his chest. His heart was still racing. “Not here.”

You kissed him, and he kissed you back.

“Should we, uh, leave together?” you asked, licking your lips.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He caressed your cheek with his thumb. “You can leave first.”

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“See you tomorrow.” He nodded and stole another kiss before you left.

You walked out of the building so put together as if nothing had happened, and kept a straight face until you were inside your car.

“Holy fuck,” you laughed; squealed, almost.

That really happened. You covered your face with both hands trying to come back to earth.

You decided to drive off before Hotch appeared in the parking lot, or else you wouldn’t resist taking him right there all over again. You replayed what had happened in your head the entire drive and as soon as you made it home, he texted you.

I hope you know this isn’t something casual or unimportant to me.

You smiled. You loved that he couldn’t hide his professionalism when texting.

I know, you texted back, for me either. Believe me

Good, he replied.

Goodnight, Hotch. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Tomorrow came and from the moment you laid eyes on each other, you agreed: no one could know about it.

He explained to you, when no one was around, how relationships within the bureau had a reputation. It would’ve been different if he was at the same level as you, but since he was your superior, it wouldn’t be well seen.

So this being a secret was more for him than for you, but you didn’t mind. It was such a rush. The whole forbidden thing did something to you, which caused you to be horny at work more than once.

But he made up for it when you saw each other at his place or yours.

There, it was different. You allowed yourself to be softer and he didn’t hold back any kiss or touch. His affection confused you, though, since the talk hadn’t come up yet. The ‘what are we?’ talk, and you didn’t want to be the girl who asked that after the second date.

There was sex—lots of it—, there were dinners, movie nights, and everything couples did, so it made sense if you asked, but you didn’t. You didn’t want to spoil the magic.

Because it was magical, your lives took an awful turn when you got your hearts broken and you both were right at the curve to meet each other. He’d been there, in front of you this whole time and a fragment of you glued back together every time he stared into your eyes while nothing was said. While he caressed your face and kissed you just because he wanted to. He managed to heal you between the lines, with subtle words that’d get stuck at the back of your mind.

And the more you two met outside work—whether it was at his place or yours, his bed, or a fancy hotel room—your feelings for him intensified.

They were worse on nights like these, when you found yourself tangled between sheets with him after sex, talking about anything and everything.

He often had an expression of everlasting love.

At least, you liked to think that way.

“What are you thinking?” He asked you with that glimmer in his eyes.

You sucked in a breath and brushed the front pieces of his hair with your fingers. “Did you get Morgan’s wedding invitation?”

You don’t know why, but he laughed. “I did, yes.”

“I think we should bring a date.”

“Why?”

“We have a plus one and… I don’t know. I’m gonna be wearing a dress so for your sake, I should have a date. That isn’t you.”

“Oh, really?” He teased, placing a kiss on your ear.

“This is inappropriate, Agent Hotchner, I’m your subordinate.” You laughed. You were ticklish there.

“Not when you’re in my bed.” He adjusted himself on top of you, lowering to kiss you. “And don’t pretend you don’t love it.”

You laughed again.

You loved it.

Loved him.

I hope you liked it!!! I’d love to hear your thoughts about it too!🤭❤️‍🔥

#I’m so excited for this one pls don’t let it flop #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotchner one shot #aaron hotchner fic

589 notes · View notes

sinfulspencer · 3 years

Text

One love, two mouths.

Prompt: Season 1 Spencer comforts Reader after a case and feelings come alive.

Warning: Major fluff, major smut (18+). Virgin!Spencer, heavy petting, oral sex (female/male receiving), handjob, nipple play, hair pulling, praising kink, first time, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, creampie. Read at your own risk, my friends.

Words: 15.5k

Check my masterlist here. JOIN MY TAGLIST!

Sometimes the silence guides our minds So move to a place so far away The goose bumps start to raise The minute that my left hand meets your waist And then I watch your face Put my finger on your tongue ‘cause you love to taste

Y/N stares at the dark ceiling of her bedroom, her mind incapable of turning off her thoughts. They’re awful, they’re bringing back the images of those scenes that appeared in front of her during that morning’s case and she hates it so much. She wishes she could unsee what her eyes witnessed. She wishes she would’ve covered her eyes but she didn’t – because she didn’t think those photos would haunt her, but they are now.

Her heart is beating ever so slowly, her body is fully relaxed and she can feel how tired she is because her eyes are extremely heavy, but her mind seems to have other plans because it’s awake. Y/N can’t fall asleep because her thoughts can’t stop running around her head, keeping her alert and awake. The case is closed, the last kidnapped woman was saved and no lives were taken that morning but Y/N can’t stop thinking about those stories, those experiences.

She kicks the blanket off her body, stumbling in the dark of her room to look for the light switch until she finds it. Suddenly, when she turns on all the lights, she instantly covers her face. She was getting used to the dark of her room – and if only she would’ve been able to fall asleep, she’s sure she would’ve slept until noon. But Y/N didn’t fall asleep and something tells her that there’s someone else, on the same floor as her, who’s tossing and turning in his bed.

Y/N is wearing a pair of dark red fluffy shorts and a silky matching top. She should change into something less sensual, but she knows Spencer wouldn’t mind seeing her like this. Maybe she shouldn’t even go to his bedroom because she doesn’t want to give him the wrong idea even though she’s dying to be with him, but at the same time, he’s the only one who can comfort her and make her feel better.

The last time she was in his room after a case, they ended up cuddling on his bed and falling asleep together. When they woke up the morning after, Y/N didn’t want to leave the bed because she was sleeping so well with his body pressed against hers. That was a warning sign: she has never slept decently with someone by her side, not even her best friend in High School when they used to have sleepovers at each other’s house, but with Spencer, it felt right.

Y/N thought it was cute, because she probably found someone she really felt comfortable with, but then with the time passing and her heart swelling in her chest each time Spencer gave her some attention, she realised that there was something else.

She was slowly falling more and more in love with him, which meant nothing but trouble. Y/N talked to JJ about this, opening up about her feelings growing deeper each day. She needed to vent to someone. She didn’t need advice on how to handle Spencer because apparently he’s very obedient when it comes to Y/N – which was actually interesting, because he wasn’t really that obedient towards Hotch, Gideon, Elle, or JJ. Sure, Spencer followed the rules and never crossed anybody in the team but Y/N was the only one he listened to when he was acting up. She was the only one who calmed him down when he freaked out.

That’s probably because he felt comfortable enough to let his walls down with her. Y/N loves that, because he did the same exact thing with her: even though she and Penelope are growing pretty close to each other, Y/N feels much more comfortable in Spencer’s arms with his lips pressed on her forehead and her face hidden in the crook of his neck, inhaling his delicate lavender scent.

“Y/N? Wh-what are you doing u-up?”

Y/N didn’t even realise she knocked on the door of her colleague until it was open and he was standing right in front of her, hiding behind the door with his eyes – a tired pair of eyes – wide open and a weird expression on his face.

What first captures her attention is the colour of his cheeks: they’re bright red, which means he’s blushing. And when a person blushes, it means they’re embarrassed or ashamed because they were caught doing something. So what was Spencer doing in his room late at night?

The answer is not really difficult to imagine and Y/N wants to tease him a little bit because she might have interrupted him, but she doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable, especially if she needs some comfort after the case they just worked on. So, she shrugs with her eyes fixed on his face and leans against the doorstep.

'I can't fall asleep.'"

Spencer clears his throat. “Could you, uh, wait here a moment? I’m...”

Y/N nods, turning her back against the wall as she looks up at the ceiling. “If you’re busy, I can come back later.”

“No! No, I’m not b-busy. – she hears his voice cracking – I’m just... I was just... Taking a shower.”

She hums, the door closing with a light click. She wants to laugh because she really caught him doing something that he’s too embarrassed to say – even though it’s completely normal, especially for a young man like Spencer. He’s a human being, he has his needs so she doesn’t really get why he’d hide those needs. Sure, maybe getting caught in the middle of a “loving myself-session” right after a case might sound a bit weird, but there’s nothing wrong with that. He was just trying to relax, wasn’t he?

Orgasms are a great way to relax.

Y/N opens her eyes, letting out a soft sigh. She should’ve had a bit of fun in her bedroom, maybe that would’ve helped her fall asleep instead of making her roam around the hallway of the hotel at four in the morning. Now she can’t go back to her room! She interrupted Spencer. If she steps away, he’d get mad – and maybe a little upset.

“You can come inside.”

Spencer’s voice captures her attention. Y/N turns to look at him, his face now more relaxed even though his cheeks are still of a dark shade of pink, and gives him a soft smile before stepping in his room. The young doctor closes the door behind her back, running his fingers through his hair as he follows her to the window right next to his bed.

Y/N bites her bottom lip, brushing her right hand against her left arm, and lets out a sigh. Spencer stays silent, waiting for her to say something about the reason why she can’t sleep, and simply stays behind her with his eyes on her face. The moonlight filtering from the window is caressing her skin as Spencer admires the gentle features of her face.

She looks so beautiful.

But what she’s wearing right now is making Spencer have difficulties breathing.

It’s not the first time she sneaks into his room late at night, but it’s definitely the first time she’s wearing something so short and revealing. Not that he minds, of course. Y/N has a wonderful body and if he could, he would worship it in every single way that he can.

Y/N breaks the silence, turning around to look at her colleague. “Blushing is not just an emotional response, it’s also an emotional display and a way people can communicate their emotional state to others.”

He tilts his head, chuckling at her words. That’s exactly what he said to her the first time they met, almost two years before. She was making her way up the stairs of the FBI, stumbling on the BAU floor with her cheeks bright red and a huge smile on her face before she came across Doctor Reid. He remembers seeing her and thinking: “Wow, she looks gorgeous”. And immediately after, she ran up to him, held out her hand, and exclaimed “Hi! I’m SSA Lamberti, I’m looking for Aaron Hotchner”. Spencer pointed to the office right on top of the floor and he looked at her hand, not shaking it before telling her that he had a problem with germs. Y/N blushed because she was embarrassed and he chuckled, telling her those same words. Their first meeting was a bit awkward, indeed.

“What were you doing before I knocked on your door?”

Spencer sits on the edge of his king-sized bed. “Nothing you need to know about.”

Y/N raises an eyebrow, crossing her arms to her chest. “Okay, I totally get it. I hope you finished, at least; I know how frustrating it might be to be just on the edge and having to stop.”

He wants to widen his eyes and laugh nervously because of the kind of conversation they’re having – at the end of the day, it’s four in the morning and he’s actually still quite in the mood – but he manages to stay quiet, keeping a straight expression on his face and not letting certain thoughts linger in his mind. It’s difficult, though, because he has the woman of his dreams literally standing in his room in a very fluffy pair of shorts, a top he would love to take off and without makeup.

It feels like a dream coming true.

“I, uhm, I have finished. Th-thank you for your concern. – mutters Spencer, his voice cracking and betraying him – Why can’t you fall asleep? What’s on your mind?”

Y/N shrugs, letting her arms fall to her sides. “I don’t know. I keep thinking about the case we closed today and I just... The pictures you showed me this morning are haunting me, I don’t know why.”

The young doctor remains on the bed, watching her as she sits beside him. “Did they scare you? I’m sorry, I didn’t want...”

She shakes her head, biting her bottom lip. “It’s not your fault. I think my mind is just imagining weird scenarios... Those women he killed had a similar body type to mine, they had the same eye colour as me, the same style. I was the unsub’s type. I guess this is why I can’t really sleep tonight.”

Spencer sits with his legs crossed on the bed, his body turned to hers. “We caught him. He’s not going to hurt you, you know that?”

“Yes, I do. It’s stupid, I know. – says Y/N, lowering her eyes on Spencer’s hands for a moment – I wish I could turn my mind off for a few hours, just so I can sleep and feel better in the morning.”

Expressing her fear out loud has already helped her a lot, as if she just lifted a heavy weight off her chest. Maybe she’s already ready to go back to her room and sleep in her own bed, but she doesn’t really want to leave Spencer’s room. Seeing him in his little pyjamas, his messy hair on his forehead and his pretty face makes her not want to move at all.

“Do you want to take a walk on the beach?” says Spencer, pointing to the window of his room

Y/N turns around, staring at the view of the beach right in front of her. The idea of walking on the cold sand with the light sound of the waves crashing against the shore wasn’t so bad, especially if Spencer was going to join her and walk beside her. But does she need to get changed to do so? Does she need to grab her phone? No, Spencer is not going to get lost on the beach. But it’s four in the morning. What if they end up in a place with no lights, no sounds, and no way to go back?

“Yes, I’d like that. – says Y/N, her voice nothing but a whisper – Do I need to bring a towel with us?”

Spencer shrugs, biting his bottom lip. “I don’t know, do you want to stop? We could, uh, watch the sunrise. The beach is not that far, we just need to walk down the road and it’s right there.”

Her whole face lights up at the thought. “Yes, please! I’m going to grab my phone. Do you think I should change into something more comfortable? I don’t want to ruin this pyjama, it’s one of my favourites.”

Before Spencer could actually process his thoughts, words slip out of his mouth. “Put your swimsuit on.”

What the fuck is wrong with you? – a voice in his mind asks, shocked by the fact that he literally imposed Y/N to grab her swimsuit. The thought of seeing her like that, being able to be completely alone with her, and maybe jumping in the cold waters of the Ocean with her, is making him go crazy. Why would he suggest something like that, knowing that his body was going to react to the sight?

It wouldn't be the first time he gets really excited to see Y/N under certain conditions and he knows he’s going to make a fool out of himself if he sees her in a swimsuit and maybe have her hug him. But now he can’t back away from his words or she’ll know there’s something wrong with him, with his thoughts.

Y/N opens her mouth, surprised but amused by his idea. “Do you want to swim in the Ocean?”

“Why not? Even if the water is really cold, we can simply walk with our feet in the water and then sit on the beach to watch the sunrise. – asks the young doctor, biting his bottom lip – You’ve brought a swimsuit, haven’t you? I heard you and JJ were talking about spending a few days here after the case, and...”

Y/N starts to walk to the door of his room. “Yes! I have a swimsuit. And yes, we’re going to dive in the Ocean at five in the morning. I’m so happy I could kiss you!”

Well.

The young agent runs out of her colleague’s bedroom to put on her swimsuit. She’s so excited now, the idea of slipping into Spencer’s room to sleep beside him on his bed completely disappeared from her mind. Now all she wants is to walk on the beach barefoot with Spencer, admiring the beautiful Shaw’s Cove sunrise and hearing the young doctor telling her everything he knows about civil, astronomical, and nautical twilight. She wants to take off her clothes, leave them beside Spencer’s and dip into the cold water of the Atlantic Ocean, maybe holding Spencer’s hand.

Once they’re outside the Hotel they were staying in during the case, Y/N and Spencer make their way towards the beach not too far away from where they are. The air of the night is fresh but not too cold or too hot. The sky is painted with dark blue and grey stripes. There are a few clouds covering everything but Spencer said it’s a good sign. Does this mean they’re going to witness a colourful sunrise? Y/N hopes so.

Even though she didn’t come here to go to the beach but to work on a horrible case, she wants to have at least a good memory of this “trip”. Spending time with Spencer is always a good sign, the beginning of a nice memory she always holds on to when she’s having a rough day or rough time after a case. Being with him is so easy, so natural.

“What time is it?” asks Y/N.

Spencer glances at his watch. “4:30 in the morning. We might get lucky even though there’s this blanket of clouds over us.”

She looks up at the sky, biting her bottom lip once she finally puts her feet on the cold sand of the beach of Shaw’s Cove. She had never been there before in her life, but when she and Elle were driving back to the Hotel, her colleague showed her a bunch of pictures of Shaw’s Cove’s sunrise. And ever since, Y/N has kept thinking about how much she’d love to witness the sunrise on that same beach she’s now with Spencer.

Is Elle going to get mad at her because they didn’t go together? Y/N hopes not. Well, she might also not tell Elle anything about what’s happening because this little walk, this little meeting she’s having with Spencer feels so private. Something that needs to be kept between them.

“There’s no one here, it’s almost creepy. – says Y/N, following Spencer to the shore – But wow, it already looks breathtaking. Do you think I can find a house and rent it for the summer?”

The young doctor turns around to look at her, smiling. “That would be a great idea. You'd have an amazing view every single day of the beach and the ocean."

She gives him a little smile, looking around before biting her bottom lip. There’s a bit of light mist all over the surface of the water but Spencer doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, even though the sun hasn’t risen yet. Everything looks so quiet and calm.

There’s not a single sound different from the melody produced by the waves crashing against the shore. Spencer is staring at the water hitting his feet as he holds his slippers with a little smile on his face.

He looks like a child with a new toy. He seems so happy to be there and Y/N is even happier that she’s witnessing this beautiful beginning of a morning with him. She never thought she’d end up with Spencer on the beach in southern California after solving a case, but apparently, life has other plans for her.

Not that she minds, of course.

Now she’s really happy that she bothered Spencer in the middle of the night. If she hadn’t done it, she would have still been in her room, tossing and turning under the blanket of her bed.

“Look!”

Y/N’s head snaps in the direction Spencer is pointing to.

A tiny bit of pink in one corner of the sky. Y/N’s smile spread on her lips because this means that the first light of the morning is slowly breaking through the night lights. Spencer walks beside her, his hand immediately flying on her waist without hesitation.

Y/N doesn’t move because she doesn’t want to break this contact. She really likes having Spencer’s hand on her body, and the goose bumps rising all over her arms are a sign of that. She wants to turn around, grab him by the face and kiss him with the sunrise finally lightening up in the background but she doesn’t have a real reason to do so. They’re just colleagues walking on the beach, nothing else.

“Do you know why winter sunrises and sunsets are more beautiful?”

Y/N shakes her head, looking at him for a split second. “No, not really. Why?”

Spencer keeps his hand over her waist, putting the other one on the other side of her hip. “Sunsets become more vivid because of low humidity and cleaner air, especially after it rains. That means there are fewer particulates to wash out colours and create foggy sunsets, which are more typical in summer. Different colours are caused by different types of scattering, reflection, and refraction of light.”

She listens to his soothing voice, admiring the beautiful pink sky lit up over their heads and in front of their eyes as the fresh air of the morning hits them.

“Light is made up of different colours, each with its own range of wavelengths. The final ingredient of a beautiful sunset or sunrise is clouds, because they reflect the stunning hues back to us. They make the sunset or sunrise much more brilliant. – says Spencer, his arms now wrapped around her body to keep her closer to him – Now we’re witnessing the civil twilight. It occurs when the Sun is less than 6 degrees below the horizon and it ends with the sun actually rising in the sky.”

Y/N leans her head back on his shoulder, putting her hands over his arms. She really likes having him pressed that way to her body: the contrast between the warmth of his skin and the fresh air of a winter morning in southern California is extremely delicious.

She doesn’t want to ruin the moment because she’s kind of overwhelmed by everything. She has always been a morning person, which leads to her usually waking up very early in the morning and sitting outside her apartment to admire the sun rising before she had to work. And the fact that she’s standing on the beach, completely empty beside Spencer tightly pressed to her body, is enough for her to feel like she’s on cloud nine.

“This is so romantic,” whispers Y/N.

Spencer doesn’t pull away from her after her words. “Why?”

She shrugs, biting her bottom lip. “A lot of people say sunsets are more romantic than sunrises, but I think it’s only because witnessing a sunrise means you’re awake at a very early hour. And not everyone is a morning person like me and you. I’ve always found sunrises much more romantic than sunsets. Watching the sunset with someone means we’re out on a date, means I’ve stressed out about getting ready to go out and all of that but... this is completely different.”

Spencer remains silent, stepping away from her but keeping his hand on her waist. He doesn’t want to be far from her, he needs to keep her close because not only she’s warm and keeping him warm, but she’s also so fucking beautiful. And his heart can’t take being away from her.

“We didn’t plan to witness the sunrise last night, we just... went out and came here. – says Y/N, her voice now low as she admires the pink sky up – It’s so calm, relaxing, quiet. And being here with you is exactly what I needed to feel better.”

He blinks, watching the young woman as she finally turns around to look at him. Spencer is not sure what to say or what to do, but he felt exactly the same. Being with Y/N is so easy, it feels so natural and normal, as if they’re meant to be together. She doesn’t make him nervous – well, she does, especially when she looks at him with her gorgeous and bright smile, those lovely eyes, and her angelic face.

Okay, yes, she makes him very nervous but it’s only because she’s the first woman to show him a particular interest in – she doesn’t make fun of him, she allows him to rant about anything, she holds his hand when he’s nervous and no one is looking, she leans her head on his shoulder when they’re on the jet, she plays with his hair when they’re listening to some music on the way home on the jet, she buys him books when he’s upset or when she sees a nice poem.

She’s just perfect. A delight to be around.

“It’s the first time I go to the beach and watch the sun rise with a man that I like.”

Spencer seems now nervous, trembling right in front of her. What did she just say to him?

Y/N grabs his hands, mentally patting herself on the back for wearing a sweater on top of her shorts, and puts them in the pockets of her sweater so that he can warm up a little bit better. Spencer is still staring at her, probably to process what just came out of her mouth, but Y/N is not going to take it back.

She said those words and she doesn’t regret them because they’re the pure truth. They’ve been hidden for far too long in her mind and now seemed like the perfect time to spit them out, because they’re completely alone on the beach with the pink sky in the background and the faint sound of the waves crashing against the sand and their feet.

“I...”

He falls silent, probably because he wasn’t expecting her to say that. Does she really like him?

Spencer has his hands in the holes of her sweater. Their lips are just a few millimetres near and all he wants to do is lean in and kiss her. It feels like the perfect time to do it, the perfect place to have his first kiss in and he really wants to do it but he can’t bring himself to actually do it. He feels like a coward because she’s right there, she’s probably waiting on him to make the first move but he just can’t.

Y/N pulls out her hands from her sweater and puts them on Spencer’s face, her thumbs brushing over his perfect cheekbones as her eyes still linger on his. He doesn’t move, he doesn’t open his mouth because he doesn’t want to ruin the moment but he really wants this to happen. He wants her to be his first kiss.

But how is it possible that now they’re on the verge of kissing, when he was so terrified to even touch her on the elbow? Y/N came to his bedroom because she couldn’t sleep, and now they’re on the beach at five in the morning, about to kiss. How did this happen? And why does it feel so good?

“Y/N, I...”

She looks up at him, her eyes bright and shining. “Yes?”

“You make me want to kiss you. – he manages to spit out, his heart swelling when a smile appears on her lips – B-but I guess it’s what you want, isn’t i-it?”

Y/N can see how nervous he is and she finds it extremely sweet. Is he nervous because he wants to kiss her and he doesn’t know why? Or is he nervous because he wants her as much as she wants him right now? Either way, they’re going to kiss and she actually can’t wait for that. She doesn’t care if he’s inexperienced, she doesn’t care if she’s his first kiss and it’ll be maybe messy. She just wants to taste his lips, to feel the desire running through his body and melting with hers, to move her lips to his rhythm and see him losing himself in the moment.

“Yes, I want you to kiss me. But if you’re not ready, we don’t have to do it. – whispers Y/N, her fingers now caressing the back of his neck – I’m serious, Spencer. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

He quickly shakes his head, biting his bottom lip. Y/N could pass out in that exact moment, he looks so innocent and it’s making her feel things she shouldn’t. She doesn’t know if she has an innocent kink, but she definitely has a kink for innocent Spencer –but she really wants him. She desperately wants to be with him because she loves him so much and she needs to show him that he deserves all the love in the world, in every way she can.

“I do, I want to kiss you so bad. – says Spencer, his voice coming out stronger and more confident – It’s just... You’re my first kiss and I don’t know where to begin.”

Her stomach flutters. The moment is just so sweet. She never thought she’d kiss Spencer on the beach right after watching the sun rise but hey, she doesn’t mind. At all.

Y/N runs her fingers through his hair, gently pushing a strand of hair off his forehead. “Do what you feel more comfortable doing. Just make sure you kiss my lips, you know. I’m sure you’ll do great, Spencie.”

He nervously chuckles, pulling out his hands from her sweater before placing them on her face. He wants to touch every inch of her body but he can’t, not right now at least. Y/N smiles softly at the touch, his thumb caressing her bottom lip as she leaves a kiss on the tip of his fingers before looking up at him again.

Spencer studies her eyes as if he’s waiting for the right moment to press his lips on hers. Y/N does the same, admiring the way his eyebrows are slightly furrowed and his lips slightly pursed. He looks like a cute kitten. She just wants to smooch him so badly and cuddle with him on the beach. He’s just so fucking perfect, Y/N is stunned by the fact that he wants her to be his first kiss. Does this mean he likes her? Is the feeling mutual? If it is, Y/N is going to metaphorically cry.

Y/N drops her hands on his shoulder, grasping the collar of his shirt. She doesn’t want to push him because he deserves to take all the time that he needs, but she’s growing impatient. Maybe he needs a little push, another reason to kiss her. So, Y/N leans in and bites her bottom lip while looking at his mouth. And when she does that, Spencer’s mouth covers hers.

The water hits their feet but they both don’t care because they’re finally kissing.

And even though it’s just a little peck on the lips, Y/N could do it forever. The feeling of his soft mouth pressed on hers, his hands now pulling her cheeks so that she can’t back away from his kiss, and her heart doing jumping jacks in her chest is making her dizzy. If she thought kissing him would ease the intense connection she feels with him, she was wrong.

Oh, so, so wrong.

Y/N quickly puts her hand behind his neck, her lips moving against his in a slow rhythm as her tongue grazes over his bottom lip before slipping into his mouth to meet his. Their kiss is turning messy, filled with the desire that has burned in both of them and that can finally explode. Y/N doesn’t want to pull away, she needs this kiss more than ever or she’ll go crazy.

But how is she going to move on after this? How is she going to spend her days without thinking about the way Spencer is kissing and holding her? This whole situation is making her feel like she’s on top of the world, as if she’s destined to be in his arms with his mouth on hers. It’s just perfect.

“I’m so glad we didn’t kiss yesterday or during the case. – whispers Spencer, his lips detaching from hers – Because I don’t think I’ll be able to focus on anything else than you for the next, uh, life.”

Y/N chuckles at his words, her fingers playing with his hair. “I can say the same about you, Doctor Reid.”

He shakes his head, pressing another kiss on her mouth. “Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? – asks her, furrowing her eyebrows but allowing him to keep kissing her – Isn’t that what you are, though?”

Spencer hums, his hands travelling down her neck. “Yes but if you call me like that, your voice is.. I’m...”

She widens her eyes, her cheeks getting red. He doesn’t need to say anything else because she understands.

Note to self: don’t call Spencer “Doctor Reid” in public or in front of the rest of the team because he might get hard. – thinks Y/N, biting her bottom lip as she puts a hand over his chest to gently pull away from him, keeps her eyes on his face and blushes even harder when he stares back at her with his usual sweet smile and his dimples appearing on his cheeks. He looks so pretty, so calm and so relaxed now. Even though he basically confessed to her that he likes to be called “Doctor Reid” more than he should, he doesn’t feel embarrassed – which is a positive thing. It means he’s comfortable enough to tell Y/N a few things about his kinks – she can’t wait to find out all of them, if she has to be honest.

“Are you happy?” asks her, biting her bottom lip.

He nods, his cheek a shade of dark pink. “I’d be happier if you’d kiss me again.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

Y/N slips her hands behind his neck, gently pushing his face closer to hers so she can kiss his lips again. And when she does, a low moan escapes his mouth – and if Spencer hopes Y/N didn’t notice, well... She did and it lit a fire between her legs that it’s not going to be distinguished soon, unless she does something. Kissing is always nice, especially if you’re kissing someone who wants you as much as you want them, but sometimes it’s not really enough.

Y/N is hungry for Spencer – and it’s a hunger that is much more deep, more carnal, a hunger that is burning her with desire. And it’s so wrong to feel like this when she has a man like him between her hands, literally. She doesn’t want to scare him off, but at the same time, she needs him.

It’s such a contrasting feeling, she doesn’t know what to do.

Y/N tries to focus on the kiss, opening her eyes to sneak a peek at him before closing them again. Spencer seems so lost in this kiss, welcoming the tip of her tongue between his lips to meet his; she doesn’t want to stop the kiss just because she’s getting more worked up, but she needs to do something else. She has to distract herself from taking more.

Spencer pulls away from her mouth, instantly moaning when Y/N travels down his neck with her lips. She brushes them over his sensitive skin, taking a few steps away from the shore as the water keeps hitting their feet.

“You’re going to k-kill me. – whispers Spencer, closing his eyes – Fuck.”

She has never heard him curse but she has to admit it, it’s kind of hot. Especially because she’s the reason why he cursed, in his hot low voice, while kissing down the tender skin of his throat. Maybe she found his favourite spot; she’s definitely going to use it to her advantage. If Spencer is going to act like this each time she kisses his neck, she’s going to do it more often.

“Can we walk? My feet are pretty cold. – says Y/N, taking a few steps away from him to warm up – Maybe taking our slippers off wasn’t a bad idea, the water is literally ice cold.”

Spencer chuckles, his right arm now wrapping around her waist as they start to walk together on the beach. Y/N doesn’t know for how long they kissed, she doesn’t care; as long as she’s spending time with him, she’s okay. She knows they’ll have to go back at a certain point, but for now they’re going to enjoy the first lights of the day and maybe kiss some more.

Y/N puts her arm around his waist, walking beside him. The sky is now painted in a very light blue, the pink slowly fading away to let the other colour take control. It’s still so beautiful and she can’t stop smiling. She knows it’s not only the sunrise causing her to feel so lightheaded. It’s Spencer’s fault, too.

“Wait! We forgot our shoes there!”

Y/N yells when Spencer lets go, running towards the point where they stayed for a long time. She didn’t even notice she dropped her slippers, probably too busy kissing him and feeling his hands roam around her body to care.

But when he runs back to her, hair flowing in the wind and his little smile slowly creeping on his lips, she can’t help but chuckle and open her arms. He takes that sign as a silent “come here” from her, so he runs between her arms and gently lifts her from the beach as he spins her around. Y/N laughs loudly, her hands sliding behind his neck as she dips her head down and kisses his lips.

For a man that doesn’t really work out, he certainly can lift her. It’s kind of hot.

“Spencie! Put me down, I’m too heavy!”

He shakes his head, raising it before realising her boobs are literally in front of him. That sight almost made him fall on his knees because it happened so quickly and so swiftly, he thought he was kissing her – but no, his face was just between her breasts.

As he’s slowly putting the young woman down on the ground, he backs away and puts his slippers back on. Y/N, on the other hand, starts to laugh because the whole situation was so funny. He ran up to her, kissed her and then ended up with his face between her breasts when she looked up at the sky while he was lifting her.

He wasn’t expecting her to not kiss him again!

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. I swear, I’m not a creep. I was...”

Once Y/N has put on her slippers, she grabs Spencer’s hand and lets their fingers intertwine. “Stop apologising, you didn’t do anything bad. Sure, maybe next time you want to touch my boobs, ask for it.”

Spencer blushes hard, shaking his head as she chuckles. “I’m making this weird, I’m sorry.”

“Hey! No, that’s not true. You’re not making this weird. – says Y/N, tugging his hand – It’s normal to be nervous and it’s normal to be a bit embarrassed, but these things happen. I don’t mind having your face between my boobs, but next time you want to do it, make sure we’re completely alone.”

She points to a man, dressed in all white, sitting on a wooden bench not too far from the pier. Spencer bites his bottom lip, keeping his arm around her waist as he hopes the man hasn’t seen what has just happened. Even though he feels so incredibly embarrassed – he kissed her, everything was going to smoothly perfect and then he hit her boobs with his face – he knows Y/N is not, she’s completely calm and collected. And it’s hot.

They walk beside each other in complete silence, enjoying the touch of their hands and the strong scent of the ocean. Unspoken words are silently being exchanged between them, stolen glances from both parts and cute smiles hidden at each turn of the head are making them feel lightheaded.

Is this how love feels? Is this how feeling comfortable with each other feels? Is this how they’re going to feel from now on? They love everything that’s happening.

But... Time is ticking.

The sky is now painted with a light blue shade, the clouds have disappeared and the sun is finally up, bright and yellow. They have spent at least two hours on that beach but it felt like two minutes, and it’s all because they were so excited to be together, so eager to kiss and having fun that they didn’t bother looking at the clock.

Y/N didn’t think she’d end up on the beach with Spencer, she just wanted to sleep with him on his bed but she doesn’t mind at all what has happened here. In fact, she’s even more awake and more energetic than all the days before that.

Maybe it’s because she’s so excited about the kiss and the desire hasn’t left her body yet.

“We should go back to the Hotel, though. – says Spencer, looking at her for a split second – I’m getting hungry and we didn’t bring any money, so we can’t even stop at a coffee shop.”

Y/N hums, wrinkling her nose. “Yeah, we should go back. I need to take a shower before we have breakfast, though.”

Before Spencer could actually stop himself, he talks. “My bathroom has a bathtub.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“Are you going to join me, then?”

Another moment of silence.

“If you want to, yes.”

Y/N hides her smile, following up back up to their Hotel in silence. There are so many things she wants to say but she keeps quiet, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. At the end of the day, having sex with him is all she wants right now, but she doesn’t want him to do it just because they kissed.

She thought Spencer would want to wait for this step, especially if it’s his first time – but does he really want to do it the same day he had his first kiss? Not that she minds, of course, but. What if he feels compelled to do so just because he had his first kiss? What if he’s so overwhelmed because of that? Y/N doesn’t want to take advantage of him, she would never do that but he seems so eager.

Spencer leads her in the hallway of their Hotel, pressing the button for the elevator. She can feel his nerves creeping up on his neck, but she’s nervous too because she doesn’t know what to expect. Are they really going to take a bath together? Or was he just teasing her and asking her to see her reaction? Was he trying to test her somehow?

Even though she’s a bit more experienced than him, she’s not much as experienced as he thinks she is. Does it make sense? She has had a boyfriend before, yes. She has had sex before, yes. But she has never been so nervous to be with a guy before. She has never taken a bath with her ex, she wasn’t even that interested in him at all – but she’s definitely interested in Spencer.

Y/N wants him probably more than she should’ve and a part of her thinks he knows that, that’s why he not-so-subtly told her that he has a tub in his bathroom.

Y/N leans her head on his shoulder, biting her bottom lip as she watches their reflection in the metal doors in front of them. Is she really going to take a bath in his room because he asked her? Why did she say yes? And why did she ask him if he was going to join her? Is she dumb?

“I’m nervous.” he blurts out.

Y/N looks at him, stepping outside the elevator. “Nervous? About what?”

Spencer shrugs, walking back to his room. “I don’t know, I’m... I want to ask you something. But inside, not here.”

She doesn’t waste any time, following him down the hallway before closing the door behind her back. Y/N takes off her sweater, leaving it on the chair next to the main entrance, and follows him to the window. Spencer is lifting his shirt off his chest, his skin glistening under the lights of the morning.

“I want you to be my first time.”

Y/N was right, he is a virgin. He never said it out loud until right now. And he wants her to change his status.

“Today?”

Spencer shrugs, now feeling more self-conscious about his bare chest. Y/N hasn’t looked at it yet but she quickly stops his hands when he tries to grab his shirt to cover up. His hands are shaking and his eyes are darting between her and the mirror behind them, where their reflection is being captured.

“Spencie, look at me. – says Y/N, snapping her fingers in front of his face – Look at me, okay? Focus on my face.”

He takes a deep breath, managing to calm himself down as his eyes finally meet hers. Y/N gives him an encouraging smile, using her hand to caress his cheek before leaning in and gently pressing a kiss over his mouth. If he’s this nervous, maybe they shouldn’t do it. But when his hands find her cheeks, forcing her mouth to stay connected to his, he feels the desire burning deep inside of him, lighting a fire inside of her as well.

He wants her. More than he can describe.

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”

Spencer shakes his head again, kissing her lips again. “I want to do it. I want my first time to be with you. I don’t care if I had my first kiss today, too. I know I want you and I trust you.”

Y/N feels her eyes watering at his words because she can feel the tension in his voice, but also the lust and the desire behind it. She wants to have sex with him. She has dreamed of doing it for a long time but now that she’s about to do it, she feels like she doesn’t even know where to start or put her hands.

“You have to calm down though, love. – whispers Y/N, moaning softly on his lips when his hands push her hip against his – If we’re both nervous, it’s not going to end well and I want you to enjoy everything.”

Spencer nods, realising that he’s not really nervous. He knows what to do. He has read so many books and medical journals about women’s bodies and the whole psychology of sex before actually thinking about taking the matter into his own hands.

No, Spencer is just very excited because not only he’s going to try the magical world of sex, but also because he’s going to lose his virginity with the woman he likes and wants, a woman he trusts with his own life and knows would never hurt him.

“Do you want to take a bath before we do it?” asks Y/N.

Her voice is low, sweet, filled with love and affection. Spencer could melt into it if he could.

“No, I want you. Now.”

She hums, her hands caressing his chest. “Alright, Lover Boy. Tell me... Do you know what to do?”

Spencer doesn’t want to nod but nods anyway. “I may have read a few articles about first times and sexual intercourse.”

“Explain to me what you read.”

He clears his throat, moaning softly when Y/N’s lips travel down his mouth to his chin, then his neck. Spencer tries his best to be focused, to keep control of his mouth and tongue so that he can actually say something but the feeling of her warm tongue sliding on his skin before her teeth gently bite it, it’s overwhelming.

His neck is one of his sweet spots – but he doesn’t want Y/N to stop, this is just perfect.

“There are five phases, kind of. Foreplay, arousal, optional, penetration, aftercare. – utters Spencer, his right hand gently caressing her hair as she kisses his chest – Foreplay is basically kissing, touching, feeling... Fuck, Y/N.”

She giggles, licking the soft skin beside his navel before biting on it and bringing her mouth back up to his neck. Her right hand settles behind his neck as her left hand gently scratches his chest, the goose bumps on his skin rising quickly. She loves the effect she’s having on him, it makes her feel powerful – she has never felt this way before.

“The “Optional” stage doesn’t make any sense. I found that article pretty dumb if I have to be honest so I’m going to just focus on what I want to do, what I like to do and... Please, stop me if I’m wrong or if I’m hurting you. – explains Spencer, his voice sounding a bit higher than normal because of her tongue caressing the skin underneath his earlobe – I want you to enjoy this as much as I am enjoying it right now.”

Y/N pulls away from him, sliding her top up her arms before throwing it on the floor. Spencer almost chokes on his own saliva at the sight of her breasts, now completely bare right in front of him.

She tilts her head, grabbing his hands and gently placing them on her boobs before biting her bottom lip and looking back at him. The young doctor is blushing hard, her nipples brushing against the palm of his hands and his pupils are dilating quickly.

Y/N chuckles, pushing her hair back. “You’re right. Tell me what you want to do and what you want me to do to you. I have a few things in mind, though, but I’ll tell them later.”

Spencer closes his hands around her breasts, feeling the tenderness of her skin and her hard nipples against his palms. He has never held a pair of boobs before in his life – he has never seen one in real life before too so he’s trying his best not to freak out and not to come in his own pants already.

“Sex is all about pleasure, Spencer. There’s nothing wrong that you can do because you’re learning, you’re trying everything you’ve always wanted to do and see what fits you and what doesn’t. – says Y/N, her voice low and sensual – Foreplay is all about touching and kissing, as you said. It’s about getting your partner in the mood, arousing them with your fingers or your mouth, see how they react to your touch.”

Spencer keeps his eyes on her chest, twisting her nipples between his index and his thumb as a loud moan escapes her lips. He found something that she liked and it wasn’t as hard as he thought, so he keeps doing that. When he watched a porn video for the first time, he saw the guy getting his head down to the woman’s breasts and sucking and nibbling at her nipples so Spencer wants to do it too, see if Y/N likes it.

“Can I...”

Y/N nods, running her fingers through his hair. “You can do whatever you want, Spencie. I’m all yours.”

He looks at her for a moment, her eyes shining and burning with desire. He grabs her right hand and gently lays her down on the bed, admiring the way she instantly spreads her legs for him even though he didn’t ask her to. Y/N puts her head on his pillow so she can see whatever he is doing to her.

“You look so beautiful right now, Spencie. – whispers Y/N, her hands massaging her boobs – But you’d look even better with that pretty mouth of yours on my nipples, you know?”

Spencer blushes hard at her words, her praise and her dirty words turning him on so much. Even though his fingers are shaking and he can’t really focus on what’s happening because of his nerves, he’s ready to do whatever she asks him to.

He doesn’t want to disappoint her – and he doesn’t want to miss the chance to put his lips on that soft skin either – so he bows his head and wraps his lips around her right nipple, wetting it with kitten licks.

Y/N moans again, her back arching from her bed as she grabs a fistful of his hair but doesn’t tug on it.

Spencer needs a bit of guidance but he’s doing amazing as if he’s made for it. She bites her bottom lip, a tingling sensation diffusing in her body and bringing heat to her cheeks.

“That’s perfect, you’re doing amazing. – says Y/N, her voice breaking when Spencer sucks on her nipple just right before slowly biting it – Fuck, just like that. Are you sure you’ve never done this?”

The young doctor shakes his head, his tongue flattening under her nipple before he jumps on the other one. He has never done this before to anyone, but he may have had a few dreams about sucking and licking her nipples a few days ago – he has always loved boobs, especially hers. He doesn’t like to say out loud that he may have stared at her cleavage a few times every single day, but he has.

It’s difficult to keep all of those thoughts in his mind, terrified that they might disgust her – so Spencer decides to gather some courage and, after licking and wetting her left nipple, he pulls away to look at her beautiful face.

“I’ve thought about you like this for so long, Y/N. – says Spencer, his hand gently caressing her cheek – And I want to touch every inch of your skin, worship your body like it deserves to and make sweet love to you until you’re crying out my name and forgetting yours. But I don’t want to rush anything.”

She puts her hands behind his neck, bringing his face down on hers. He’s always so sweet and respectful even when he attempts to dirty talk to her – she’s already turned on but the way he’s looking at her, watching the goose bumps rise on her arms with those hungry dark eyes, is making her dizzy.

“You deserve a handjob because of what you just said.”

He blushes hard, his cock pressing against her inner thigh. Why is he so turned on by the fact that she said he deserves his dick touched for his words? Why is he so turned on in general, even though she has just kissed him on the lips and all over his chest? He just can’t stop thinking about how he’s going to finally be inside of her after waiting for so long. His dreams are coming true and even though he might not last for long – unfortunately he’s too nervous and excited at the same time to actually make this as long as he can, and he hates himself for that – he wants Y/N to enjoy everything he can give her before he loses himself inside of her.

“Then, give me one.”

Y/N doesn’t need to be told twice, a smirk slowly forming on her lips. She knows she has to take the reins for the moment because Spencer is nervous and he doesn’t know where to start touching her – well, he’s going to learn everything.

The young woman rolls over his body, straddling him before unbuttoning his trousers while leaving soft kisses all over his chest, his collarbones, his throat. And those kisses steal little moans out of his mouth, as he throws his head back to expose more of his neck that, of course, Y/N marks with a little bit under his Adam’s apple and his chin.

Spencer tries his best not to come at the sensation, her skilled fingers pushing down his briefs. He’s naked for the first time in front of a woman who actually likes him and wants him as much as he wants her.

This is really happening, this is not a joke.

When Y/N frees his cock from his briefs, she grinds down against it for a second. Her wetness coating it as it slides between her folds, Spencer almost ready to pass out at the feeling. If this is how it feels to be close to her, Spencer knows he’s never going to last long for her.

When he looks back at her, his eyes quickly slip on her breasts as she settles between his legs. Spencer holds out a hand and plays with her nipple again, his eyes almost asking her if this is okay – and when she answers him with a moan, he smiles in triumph because at least he’s doing something good.

When his erection springs free, Y/N’s mouth waters at the sight because it’s perfectly thick and long. Dicks are not exactly attractive in her eyes, but he has the prettiest cock she has ever seen in her life before – she wants to tell him, too, but she doesn’t want him to think she’s weird.

Y/N knew he was packing, he’s the classic tall skinny guy with Heaven between his legs and she can’t wait to be blessed by it. She’s dying to feel it deep inside of her, touching every sweet spot inside of her and sending her straight to Heaven.

“Spencie, baby, don’t hold back. – says Y/N, pressing a little kiss at the base of his shaft – I want to hear your voice, I need to know how you like to be touched.”

He quickly nods, letting out a strangled moan when her tongue slowly wet the tip of his cock. She doesn’t break the eye contact, her fingers wrapping around his length tight enough for him to tremble under her touch. Spencer’s body is on fire. The deep burning desire spreading in his lower abdomen is bringing heat back up to his cheeks. Is she really going to do this? Is she really going to put his mouth between his legs? Is he dead and already in Heaven?

“Can I p-pull your hair?” asks Spencer shyly.

Y/N nods, licking and swirling her tongue on the head of his cock. She has to lube it up before actually using her hands on him but now that she’s settling between his legs, she thinks a handjob might be overrated. At the end of the day, she wants him to feel as much pleasure as he can and a blowjob right now sounds better than a handjob.

“You can do whatever you want, baby.”

Even though she hasn’t given many blowjobs in her life – her sexual experiences weren’t as much as she thought they would have back in High School – she knows she has some skills. And she wants to show them all to Spencer, allowing him to actually feel pleasure and have fun.

Spencer lays his hand on her head, running his fingers through his hair. “You l-look very pretty.”

Y/N looks up at him, smiling softly but not moving from the place she’s in. He looks so flustered, she’s never going to forgive this image. It’ll be stuck in her head forever – and it might become helpful in the future, if she’s in the mood and needs something to push her over the edge.

She focuses on the head for a few seconds, sliding her tongue over it and sucking it gently. Her spit is wetting his length, making it easier to touch him.

She wants this experience to be unforgettable for him and it seems to be exactly like that because that gesture sent Spencer into overdrive. His fingers are pulling on her hair, his chest rising quickly up and down as a litany of little moans leave his lips, begging her to do more.

“Could you, uh... – Spencer grabs her right hand, placing it on his balls – Please?”

Y/N swirls her tongue up and down his shaft, her fingers now pressing gently on his balls while she uses her right hand to massage his shaft that is not inside of her mouth. Allowing him to decide what to do, hearing his sweet voice echoing in her room filled with desire and need, is certainly something she’ll never be able to forget.

She can see how he’s trying to hold back until her mouth ends up on his balls, licking them and sucking gently on them. Spencer gasps, his fingers tugging harder on her hair; he’s overwhelmed by the feeling of being inside of her warm mouth, her tongue caressing him just where he needs to and he knows he’s already close.

“Y/N, I-I’m... Close, very c-close.”

She doesn’t want to pull away from him because it would be extremely hot to have him coming down her throat, but what is going to happen next will be even more interesting and hot. So, after giving one last lick to his shaft, Y/N gently pulls him out of her mouth and makes her way up to his chest until she reaches his face again.

“You were g-good, very good. – says Spencer, his cheeks flushed and his pupils blown out – I’m not going to last long and I’m...”

Y/N shuts him up with a kiss, straddling him again. “Don’t worry about that, baby. It’s your first time, it doesn’t have to be perfect, it has to be special.”

He stares at her, trying to catch his breath. “It’s already special because it’s with you.”

Her heart skips a bit, her mouth turning into a soft smile. She leans down, her knees on the sides of his hip. Her breasts are not pressed against Spencer’s flat chest, her nipples brushing against his soft sweaty skin. His hands quickly rest on her hip, feeling her wetness slowly grinding up and down on his cock – and he feels like he’s going to die.

He’s never going to make her come because he’ll be too far gone.

Y/N doesn’t seem to care as she kisses his mouth, their tongues meeting. Spencer moans on her lips, bucking his hip up as if he’s trying to make her understand that he wants more. He could kiss her for hours but right now all that he can think about is his cock slipping deep inside of her, watching her as she rides him nice and well with her hands on his chest.

“Do you want me to be on top, baby?”

“Yes, please. You look incredible right here.”

Spencer nods, running his hands up her torso to play with her nipples again. Having her on top means being able to touch her like this, play with her cit- and he does it, bringing his left hand down between her legs to press his thumb over her clitoris. Y/N bites her bottom lip, moving her hip against his mouth as she tries to hold back as best as she can.

“Alright, I’m going to stay right here. – whispers the young woman, whining at the feeling of his thumb pressing and massaging her clit at a steady pace – Are you ready for it?”

Spencer gulps, a drop of sweat streaming down his forehead. This is really happening. “Yes, I am. I want to be inside of you.”

Y/N grips the base of his cock again, brushing the head against her folds. Her wetness is coating his dick, making it easier for it to slip deep inside of her. Spencer can’t even breathe right now. Having her on top of him means his dream coming true, but the overwhelming desire and excitement burning in his body are bringing him quickly over the edge.

And with a swift motion, Y/N lifts her hip, aligns herself with his cock and slowly lets it sink inside of her.

It’s like all the air has been sucked out of his body, the time has stopped.

Taking him inch by inch, her body stretching to adjust to his size as Spencer forces his grip on her waist. He whines, his eyes rolling in the back of his head as he tries to keep his eyes still on her face but this whole thing is so new, so intense, so overwhelming for him. He didn’t expect sex to be so hot.

Spencer’s fingers are pressing on the soft skin of her hips, leaving marks where he’s grabbing her. Her warmth is gripping him tightly, his heart beating out of his chest as he lets out a deep growl. His eyes are on her face the whole time, wanting to see the effect he has on her.

She’s wet and tight around him, his cock disappearing inside of her as Y/N puts a hand over Spencer’s chest to balance herself on his body. She gives him time to get used to the feeling – also because she wants to enjoy this moment, making it the perfect experience for both of them, and because he’s quite big. It has been a few months since she has had sex and going from months of nothing to being filled by Spencer, with his size, is a bit... different.

“Don’t hold back, baby. – says Y/N, her voice nothing but a whisper – I want to hear your voice. I know you’re...”

Spencer interrupts her, grabbing her face and pulling it in to kiss her mouth. “You feel amazing. I can’t even talk.”

Bending down and feeling his cock twitching inside of her, forces a moan out of her lips. “You feel even better. Can I move?”

He nods, helping her to sit back on his hip as she lowers herself back onto his dick. Spencer keeps his hand on her waist, watching her as she starts to rock her hips back and forth, keeping a steady pace; it’s not too quick, it’s not too slow, it’s perfect.

And the view Spencer has on her beautiful body, her breasts bouncing up and down at each move, his cock slipping deep inside of her and her wetness coating their hips now united is everything he has dreamed of.

The noises Spencer makes are enough to push Y/N almost off the edge. They’re sweet and he keeps whispering how beautiful she is, how perfect she feels around him and how good he is feeling right now with her on top of him.

Spencer tries to keep his eyes open, not wanting to miss a single moment but the pleasure is too overwhelming. He throws his head back on the pillow, his mouth open as little huffs and whines come out of it.

He can’t focus on anything else but the tightness and her wetness gripping him so tightly.

The only thing he can do is grip her waist, pushing her down on his cock each time he feels it slip out. Y/N doesn’t need guidance, he knows, but it’s the only thing he can do to ground himself and hold on. He wants to come, his orgasm is building up quickly enough right behind his belly button as heat spreads over his face but he can’t come. Not right now.

Sure, Y/N is moaning and he can feel her clench around him but... What if she doesn’t?

“I’m going to come. – he whispers, his fingers running up to grasp her breasts – I’m too close, Y/N, I can’t...”

She leans forward, kissing his mouth before starting to move quickly. She rocks her hip back and forth, feeling his cock twitch again inside of her as she clenches hard around him. Y/N wants him to come, it’s the whole point of what they’re doing. And luckily, she’s close too.

“Touch my clit. – says the young woman, her voice more stern – Please, I want to come with you.”

Spencer doesn’t need to be told twice, desperately sliding his hand between her breasts right to her thighs. He quickly finds her clit and when he touches it, slowly massaging it with the tip of his thumb, Y/N releases a long moan as she throws her head back.

“Good boy, just like that. – whispers Y/N, her voice sensual and low – Come for me, baby. Please, come inside of me. I know you want to.”

That’s exactly what he needed.

The mixture between her voice asking him to come inside of her, to mark her just as he has always wanted to, and the sight of her losing herself in her own pleasure while giving him even more than he hoped for, is enough to push Spencer over the edge.

Y/N’s thighs shake around him, her whole body burning with the desire as she tries not to fall off his chest. The pleasure is intense and it’s burning, sending shivers down her spine.

“Come on, baby, come for me. – says again his colleague, her little hands caressing his torso as she lifts her body up to rock her hip back and forth – Let it go, baby, come for me.”

Then, she feels Spencer tense up right underneath her body and as his mouth opens, his eyes snap open staring back at her, she smirks. And he comes, spilling his warmth deep inside of her while playing with her clit.

Sure, he’s having an amazing orgasm but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop; he wants Y/N to finish with him. And she does immediately after, the intense feeling of his come filling her deliciously and his thumb playing with her clit are enough to push her.

Her orgasm hits her hard as she clenches hard around his cock, Spence losing the grip on her hip with his hand. Y/N collapses on top of him, barely able to move as she hides her face in the crook of his neck.

Spencer closes his eyes, trying to catch his breath. He doesn’t even know what to say, the whole experience being so intense and interesting at the same time. But he’s sure about one thing: she had an orgasm, that’s all it mattered to him in the moment.

He has lost his virginity, sure. He thought it was going to be a disaster because he was extremely nervous and he didn’t know where to put his hands, but Y/N was gentle and sweet enough to guide him, teaching him how she likes to be pleased. And she came! He came too, inside of her.

Not only they had sex without a condom, but he also came inside of her and it felt so fucking amazing – Spencer didn’t even care about it, in the moment; he didn’t think he would have sex with someone after working on a case, and he certainly didn’t think he would’ve had sex with one of his colleagues and his crush.

Y/N was warm and tight and hot and simply perfect around him; she took him so well inside of her and she let him mark her.

Spencer has always thought that having sex with someone without a condom is a sign of trust – for obvious reasons – but he didn’t think Y/N would allow him to do that, to mark her like that, but she did. And she seems to not regret it for one second, just like him.

“Y/N, love, can you.. uh, move? Please?”

The young woman opens her eyes, blushing hard. “Sure, I’m sorry. Wait.”

Spencer helps her lift her hip, watching as his now soft cock slips out of her and a few drops of his come fall down on the bed sheets. The sight alone could turn Spencer on again, but he’s really tired and Y/N seems to be even more tired than him.

“Thank you.”

She rolls off his body, lying beside him. “For what, baby?”

Spencer turns to his side, watching her side profile. “Being my first time, being so patient with me. It must’ve been frustrating to, uh...”

She doesn’t let him finish the sentence. “It wasn’t frustrating at all, Spencie. It was your first time and it went perfectly, in my opinion. It was amazing and you had fun, that was the whole point.”

He stares at her, his hand landing on her belly. “So you didn’t, uh... You didn’t fake the orgasm, right? You actually came? Did I...”

“How could I have faked that? You fingers were fucking perfect, baby. You gave me an incredible orgasm. – says Y/N, placing her hand on top of his as their fingers intertwine – You made me come. You did great, baby, seriously. There’s no need to feel nervous now.”

Spencer quickly nods, his cheeks heating up again. “Thank you.”

She gives him a little smile, kissing his lips before stepping down the bed.

Spencer frowns, grabbing her hand.

“Where are you going?”

Y/N raises an eyebrow, turning around to look at him. “To the bathroom. I need to, uh, clean myself.”

Spencer seems to relax at her words.

“You thought I was going to leave.”

He doesn’t answer, not letting her hand go from his grip. He thought she was going back to her bedroom, but he was wrong; of course he was, he knows Y/N. He knows she’d never hurt him – and the fact she had sex with him, it means she wants to be with him somehow. She even said she liked him when they were on the beach!

Spencer wants to slap himself in the face. Y/N frowns as well, walking back to him to kiss his mouth again. He puts a hand behind her neck, deepening the kiss with his eyes closed, but she pulls away.

“Reid, you need to understand that you’re not going to get rid of me so easily. – mutters Y/N, tapping her index over his bottom lip before kissing it – I’m going to the bathroom, clean myself, come back here and cuddle you. Is that okay?”

He quickly nods, eagerness behind his eyes. “Sounds like the perfect plan.”

She walks inside the bathroom, closing the door behind her back.

Spencer stares at the ceiling, a sheepish smile on his face as he runs his fingers through his hair. He can’t believe this happened for real. He had his first kiss on the beach and had his first time in his bedroom, on the same exact day.

Is it weird?

He has never met anyone who had their first kiss and their first time one after the other on the same day, but Spencer doesn’t really mind because they happened with a person he trusts, a person he knows would never hurt him. And now that he knows she likes him, he can’t stop thinking about how perfect the whole early morning was.

He asked her to go out with him for a walk. She said yes.

He told her he wanted to kiss her. She was eager for him to do so.

He said he had a bathtub in his bedroom. She went with him.

He begged her to be his first time. She gave herself to him.

And it all went smoothly – even though he’s still embarrassed for not lasting that long. It all happened so quickly: his mouth was on hers, her hands were all over his body, her thighs were wrapped around his waist, and then...

The bathroom door swings open. “Okay, we can sleep for two hours. I have to be in my room by eight.”

Spencer watches her as she lays on the bed beside him, lifting the blanket before slipping under it. Y/N cuddles up on his chest, her head resting on his shoulder as he immediately puts an arm around her to push her closer to him. When she lifts her chin, Spencer kisses her and she places a hand on his neck.

“Two hours.”

He hums, not really wanting to break the kiss. “I have to leave this afternoon, though.”

“I know, I know. – says Y/N, closing her eyes – I can’t tell JJ and Elle I’m busy, they’ll know something is up.”

Spencer inhales deeply. “If they knew what happened…”

She finishes the sentence for him. “They’ll never let it go. What if they bring it up to Morgan? He’ll freak out!”

They both chuckle, sharing another kiss before settling underneath the blanket. Spencer doesn’t really mind if the whole team finds out, but he knows that if they know, they’ll never let him breathe – especially Morgan and Elle. They care for him and they love Y/N, but what they love most is teasing Spencer and making him blush to the point he has to run away and find himself some other places to be.

“Do you, uh, regret…”

Y/N opens her eyes, looking at him. “Do I regret…?”

“Your first time?”

That’s an odd question. She has never thought about it before, mainly because as soon as College was over she went straight to Quantico to start her training to become an Agent – and all of her old life disappeared to make space for the hard working days where she usually went home completely exhausted. She could barely lift a finger.

“Well, it happened with my first boyfriend during my first year of college. It wasn’t exactly the best night of my life because it was rushed and we were both pretty drunk, but I don’t regret it. – explains Y/N, the tip of her fingers drawing circles over his chest – It hurt like Hell, though. He wasn’t as big as you but I think we didn’t wait too long, he didn’t prepare me the way I needed to, and, well... It hurt.”

Spencer frowns, shaking his head. “Maybe you weren’t as aroused as you should have?”

She sighs, pressing a kiss right under his chin. “Probably. We were kissing and then we went straight to sex, you know? There was no foreplay, no oral sex, no anything that could’ve gotten me wet enough.”

“I don’t even want to imagine how much it hurt. – mutters the young doctor, wrinkling his nose – I’m sorry.”

“It’s in the past, it’s all good. The second time we had sex, a few days later, it went much better; we were both in the mood, we were not drunk so we knew what we were doing. – says Y/N, a little smile spreading on her lips – Why?”

He shrugs, his right hand playing with her hair. “I was just curious. My first time was amazing.”

She chuckles, playfully pinching his tummy. “Of course it was, we weren’t drunk and, well... You got me in the mood as soon as you kissed me on the beach. You were lucky, pretty boy.”

“Please, don’t call me that. – says Spencer in between laughs, shaking his head – Morgan uses that nickname and, as much as I love him, I don’t want to think about Morgan right now.”

Y/N nods, giggling. “Alright, sorry...”

“Baby.”

She raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Sorry, baby.”

Spencer blushes, feeling her eyes on his face. “I like it when you call me like that.”

“Then it shall be your nickname forever. – says Y/N, pressing a little kiss on the base of his neck – But I can’t call you like that in public, can I? We don’t want your mind to think about something else...”

When the young woman leaves another kiss right on his throat, Spencer bites his bottom lip and closes his eyes. Why is it so easy for him to get hard? It was just a kiss, it wasn’t a hand on his legs or dirty words whispered to his ear.

Why is his body betraying him like that? He can’t get hard again, he can’t ask her to have sex for the second time in a row after she basically told him she’s tired and wants to sleep but his private parts don’t agree with those thoughts in his mind.

What if Y/N thinks he’s too greedy?

What if she runs out of the bedroom because he’s being a creep?

Spencer tries to relax, his free hand grasping the bed sheet to fight the urge of grabbing her by the face and kissing her so hard they both lose their breath. He might think about the pictures of the corpses he found, but the feeling of Y/N’s mouth leaving kisses all over his skin is making it difficult for him to focus on something else.

“Y/N...”

Before she can answer him, Spencer rolls over her body and pins her hands against the mattress.

Now she’s glad she hasn’t opened her mouth because oh, that gesture was hot.

“What are you doing?” asks Spencer

His voice is low, sensual, incredibly hot. “I was just kissing your neck.”

“No, you were not. – mutters the young woman, using his legs to spread hers as he settles in between them – I thought you were tired.”

When Spencer realises that her eyes are blown up with pleasure and her hip rises from the bed to try and meet his, he looks down for a split second. She just told him that her ex boyfriend had sex with her, for her first time, without arousing her that much; and right at this moment, they haven’t done anything and she’s already wet. Dripping.

Is this the power he has over her?

Can he already push himself inside of her without hurting her?

He doesn’t want to test his luck, so his right hand slides between their bodies and quickly makes its way between her legs before his index finger slips inside of her. And Y/N moans, throwing her head back on the pillow as she clenches around his single finger.

“Okay, I lied. I lied, I’m sorry baby. – she breathes out, whining again when a second finger is being pushed deep inside of her – I may want to have sex again even though I’m tired.”

Spencer has control over her right now but he doesn’t know what to do. Did he really pin her down on the mattress because he wanted to? How did he do it? He never thought he had a little dominant side – well, “dominant” is a strong word; he’s just horny and hard and he wants to be inside of her again – but Y/N doesn’t seem to mind he took the reins of the moment.

“A second round?”

Y/N quickly nods, putting her hands behind his neck. “Yes, but if you’re...”

“I want this too, I was too afraid to ask. – whispers Spencer, his fingers curling inside of her as she lets out a yelp – Do you like when I touch you like this? Am I doing good?”

She’s at a loss for words. She can’t think straight because he’s pushing and massaging her sweet spot. Her mind has turned into a mess and the only thing she could say is a chorus of “yes, yes, yes” – but it’s enough for Spencer to keep going.

His fingers work quickly inside of her, growing harder each second as he feels her warm walls closing tightly around him and the wet sound of her arousal growing, too. He didn’t have the time to finger her before, too lost in his own pleasure to realise that she might have wanted more from him, but now he can take his time and play with her body.

Her wetness is now drenching his fingers and his hand, as Spencer keeps pressing his digits against the soft indentation inside of her – he has read so many books about human anatomy, and now he’s glad he did so because he knows exactly what to do.

And he may have watched a few videos about “how to finger a woman and make her come” on websites he’s never going to reveal.

Now he can test those methods and those videos, see if they were helpful.

But the way Y/N is moaning and moving her hips against his hand, as if she’s trying to ride his finger or begging him to do more, is enough to tell him that he’s doing an amazing job. If she thought he needed guidance during their first time, now she’s sure he can handle everything on his own – also because she can’t really talk, too lost in her own pleasure right now to focus on forming a coherent sentence.

“Keep... Fuck, keep going. – whispers Y/N, her thighs shaking as she bites her bottom lip – Fuck, baby, you’re doing... Amazing.”

Spencer leans down, his mouth immediately crashing against hers as she pulls his hair and moans loudly. He doesn’t slow down his movements, a third finger slipping deep inside of her as he curls all of them; Y/N trembles underneath his body, her hands scratching his back and then tugging at his hair. She doesn’t even know what to grab, she’s too overwhelmed as she feels her orgasm growing hard and fast inside of her body.

It’s almost there, almost there...

Spencer pulls out all of his fingers and with one swift motion, he grabs his cock and pushes it deep inside of her. Just like that, without planning anything, without asking her if she wants to come on his fingers on something else. But Y/N lets out a loud whine, her arms wrapping around his neck as her lips slightly part against his and her legs close right behind his waist, locking him on her body.

“Oh my fucking God, baby.”

Those words roll off her tongue before she can stop them.

Spencer doesn’t know where he found this confidence. Maybe it’s the hormones playing tricks on his head and pushing him to his limit. Maybe they’re trying to force him out of his comfort zone, maybe he’s trying to impress Y/N somehow – and the pleasure, mixed with the intensity of the moment and his feelings for her, is taking over his mind. Y/N seems glad he has let go of himself, he’s not holding back – and he doesn’t seem to want to stop.

“Am I hurting you?” whispers Spencer, suddenly scared

She grabs him by the chin, shaking her head. “Don’t you dare stop, do you understand me?”

He doesn’t need anything else as he starts to rock his hip against hers, his cock pushing deep inside of her. Y/N arches her back again, scratching his as she tries to meet his movements by raising her waist.

She wants to scream, she wants to be loud, she wants to beg him to fuck her as hard as she can but she can’t open her mouth – she doesn’t want anybody to know what they’re doing, and she hopes the walls are soundproof. If someone finds out she’s having sex at this hour of the morning, with none other than the sweet and innocent Spencer Reid after a tough case.. if Hotch finds out, he’s going to kill her with his bare hands.

Okay, maybe he won’t kill her but he will reprimand her. And as much as Y/N likes Spencer and everything he’s doing to her, she doesn’t want to lose her job over a few rounds of sex.

Sex that is making her dizzy.

“I’m.. So close. – Y/N manages to whisper, her hands behind his neck – Don’t come inside of me this time, baby.”

Spencer barely listens to her, his ears ringing as the pleasure diffuses in his body. His strokes become faster, more demanding, deep, and exactly where she needs them to be. Y/N pulls his hair, her fingers playing with it as she meets his hip, trying not to scream too loud as he brings his mouth down to hers.

“You feel so good, baby. – mutters Y/N, holding him tightly to her body – Are you close?”

He hums, quickly nodding as he hides his face in the crook of her neck. He inhales her scent, moving his hips back and forth as he feels her clenching again around him. She’s a panting mess, whining and calling out for him as she tries to hold her orgasm back because she wants him to come before her – but he’s a gentleman, he’s not going to come first.

“Y/N, I’m close.”

She nods, tugging on his hair again. “Let it go, baby. I’m co-coming.”

And soon, the pleasure is getting overwhelmed, the intensity of the moment leaving both of them speechless as she finally lets go of herself. The orgasm hits her as she rolls her eyes in the back of her head, scratching his back. She rides that orgasm for as long as she can, not wanting to let go of that pleasure burning her body. But when she comes down, Spencer pulls out of her warm body and quickly finishes off, coming all over her belly.

Y/N stares at him, admiring the way his lips are parted and little huffs are coming out of them. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed, his expression is focused on what is happening until he completely relaxes. He closes his eyes, throwing his head back before collapsing against her body and hiding his face on her neck.

They will definitely need a shower before leaving that bedroom.

“Did I hurt you?”

Y/N traces an imaginary line from his bottom lip down to his throat. “No, baby. You didn’t. It was kind of hot, you know, the way you took the lead.”

Spencer lets out a soft sigh, not moving from where he is. “Oh, do you want me to be more... uhm, dominant? I don’t know how but I can learn. There are a lot of books regarding the...”

She interrupts him, tapping her index over his bottom lip. “I like the way you are, you don’t have to become anything for me. I like you as you. But if you want to be more dominant because it brings you pleasure, then... suit yourself.”

A few minutes later, after catching their breath and coming down from their highs, Y/N and Spencer head to the bathroom to finally wash off the remains of their fun together. She didn’t think she’d be able to keep her hands to herself but Spencer did, keeping her at bay and kissing her once in a while. Y/N felt like she was on cloud nine, enjoying the feeling of his hands massaging her hair and washing them clean for her. So she did the same for him, washing his hair and kissing his lips each time she had the chance to do so.

Once they’re out of the bathroom, Y/N recollects all of her clothes and wears them as quickly as she can. It’s almost eight in the morning and she has to head down to the bar to have breakfast with Elle and JJ. She doesn’t really want to leave Spencer all by himself in the room, but she has to or the others will start wondering where she is and why she hasn’t come down to meet all of them.

“Okay, I have to go now. – says Y/N, watching Spencer as he puts his shirt back on – Don’t miss me too much.”

He chuckles, following her to the door. “I won’t. Are you going to come back for lunch?”

She nods, kissing his lips again. “Yes, I think so. Me and the girls are probably going out to enjoy the sun but I’ll make sure to be here before you leave.”

Spencer keeps his hand on her hip, lingering with his lips on hers. “Okay, have fun with them.”

“I will.”

After sharing one last kiss, Y/N opens the door of his bedroom and looks around the hallway. She doesn’t hear anything and there’s no one around so she is safe. She quickly makes her way towards her bedroom, not too far from Spencer’s, when she hears JJ and Elle’s voices coming from the stairs. Y/N almost jumps at the sounds, trying to find her keys inside the pocket of her sweatshirt. Her heart is beating out of her chest.

“Hey, Y/N!”

She gasps, the keys falling from her hand. “Oh, hi ladies. I was, uh... I forgot my phone.”

JJ crosses her arms to her chest, noticing her colleague seems shaken. “Are you okay? You....”

“Yeah! I’m fine, I’m good. I’ll be down in a minute. – says Y/N, giving them a little smile before opening her door – Save me a seat, okay? I just need to grab my phone.”

But before her colleagues step inside the elevator of the floor, the door of Spencer’s bedroom swings open. He doesn’t notice JJ and Elle staring at him at the end of the hallway. He turns to his side, looking at Y/N with a shy smile before holding out his hand.

“You forgot your, uh, panties.”

Her panties.

She forgot her damned panties in his bedroom. And now he’s holding them out to her, with his cheeks pinker than normal and his eyes shining under the faint lights of the hallway.

Y/N wants to scream right now.

Elle begins to laugh as JJ hits her shoulder, but they both don’t hold out their laughs.

Y/N wants to scream, seriously, but she’s completely frozen right in front of the young doctor. He doesn’t seem to be phased until he turns around and spots the other two women not too far from him as they witness the scene.

They weren’t expecting this to happen and neither did Spencer, because he didn’t hear the voices coming from the hallway.

He thought Y/N was already in her bedroom, but apparently, she wasn’t. And now they’re both in front of JJ and Elle, as they giggle and shake their heads. Y/N covers her face with a hand, biting her bottom lip; her cheeks are hot and her hands are shaking, because she was not expecting this.

It was all supposed to be a secret, at least for a while. And now everything is out in the open. She forgot her panties in his bedroom. How is she going to lie about it and tell her colleagues nothing happened?

She can’t lie, it’s too obvious that they have done something. Y/N hopes JJ and Elle will keep their mouths shut, at least, but she knows they won’t because... Well. They are FBI agents, but they love to gossip with the rest of the team – maybe not with Hotch and Gideon, but still.

They’ll definitely say something to Morgan.

“I... Thank you, Doctor Reid. – mutters the young woman, grabbing her panties from his hand – I have to, uh..”

Spencer looks at JJ and Elle, giving them his usual tight smile.

“We’ll save you a seat, Y/N. – says Elle, winking at her before walking back to the elevator – Bye Spencer.”

Once the two women have disappeared from the floor, Y/N looks back at the young doctor in front of her and stomps her foot on the ground. He remains quiet for a few seconds but then his laugh erupts, and she starts to giggle along with him.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N, I didn’t know they were out here.”

She shakes her head, patting her free hand on his chest. “My dear Spencer, we’re totally fucked.”

And if Morgan teases them throughout their lunch, well... It’s pretty obvious.

TAG LIST: @bookishspencer @allexthakatt @calm-and-doctor @reidswhoree @getyoutmoon

Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist. :)

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #spencer reid smut imagine #spencer reid fluff imagine #spencer reid smut one shot #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x female reader #spencer reid x y/n #doctor spencer reid #doctor spencer reid imagine #doctor spencer reid one shot #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds one shot #spencereidsupremacy

1K notes · View notes

toastybuggy · 3 years

Text

Love on the Brain

warnings: nothing really but it is based off of season 1 episode 5, so yeah

summary for today: the unsub reveals your feelings, forcing you to confess

———————————————————————

The unsub goes around, naming each person and their insecurities. Gideon can’t help but scoff at the mentions, knowing his own team too well. I couldn’t help but wonder what they would say about myself. “And the illusive Agent Y/N, too in love to focus on anything else. What, does his brain entice you? Does all the facts and figures get you excited? Don’t you get it? He doesn’t like you! He’s got too many PhD’s to give a single damn about you!” My eyes widen and I go to respond, but Morgan reaches his hand out and puts it on my shoulder.

He hangs up the phone in a rage and I begin to speak, “I’m just gonna go outside for some fresh air.” The team responds in nods. Hotch’s eyes follow me out, as he plans to come talk to me.

I sit down on the grass, enjoying the cool breeze. How did he know about me? How did he know I like Spencer? He had to be someone we knew. I watched Cheryl be taken away to the safe house, and Hotch comes to talk to me.

“How are you feeling, kid?” The genuine concern apparent in his voice. “I guess I’m alright,” I respond, “I wish I could’ve done it on my own time but hey, we’re all profilers here. Someone was bound to figure it out.” He nods and puts a hand on my shoulder, “Well, what ever happens, I’m here.” We smile at each other and he hops in his car, hearing about Cheryl and the safe house. He encourages me to come with his, so I do so.

Spencer gives me a few glances, either out of pity or out of curiosity. He decides to walk over and start the much needed conversation. “Hey Y/N, about what the unsub said.” I interject, “Yes, he was right. I’m sure you can connect the dots from there.” He steps back, completely in awe, ”Wow, I never thought that you’d honestly be into me. I ask a lot of questions and I know too much and I say too many facts and,” I decide to interject again. “Spence, it’s ok. You don’t need to like me back.” He quietly whispers, “I know I don’t have to, but I already do.” Smiles grow on our faces at the small confession, and my heart grows. “So, we go back to the office, and I’m taking you out to dinner. Deal?” Spencer chuckles, “That’s the best deal I’ll ever make.”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds

158 notes · View notes

boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

New Romantics | Part Three

18+

Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.

Categories: Fake dating, neighbours, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, Angst with a happy ending, Smut *as selected by my poll on what you wanted to read*

Warnings: Season 9 Spencer (no Maeve arc), Angst, kissing, drinking, police training mentions, case details, canon typical violence, self-doubt, autistic!spencer, age gaps (24/33), FWB relationships, period mentions, anxiety attacks, crying, misunderstandings,

Word Count: 4.7K

a/n: this chapter covers the whole week from Monday to Friday, thank you @awrfhi for making the gif I used here <3

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Monday morning she’s in his arms still, and then again on Tuesday; he basically lives with her when he’s not on a case. They make dinner together at night and they drive in together every morning, and they have had sex all over her apartment… and he loves her but he was tired when he said it and in a post-orgasm haze and he’s her best friend.

But he loved her— just not the way she loved him. She was sure of it.

Tuesday morning at 10:53 am, she cracks her fake case. They’re apprehending the unsub by Noon and then she has the rest of the week off. So she heads to the main Quantico building, she gets a visitor's pass and she takes the elevator all the way up to the BAU.

She walks through the bullpen doors and Spencer is sitting at his little desk with his head buried in a book. Penelope sees her first, wrapping her up in a hug that gets everyone’s attention as she rocks her back and forth while telling her how much she likes her.

“You are so pretty, and nice and cute, and your hair smells so good?”

“Thank you, it’s Spencer's shampoo,” she laughs as she holds her back, “I just wanted to come and see him really quick?”

He’s standing beside her and she doesn’t even know until Penelope releases her from her grasp. He wraps her up next, “why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

She kisses him right on the mouth, holding his face in her hands she has missed him too much to wait till they are alone again, “I caught the unsub.”

“No way?”

She nods feverishly, “yeah remember I found that stray hair on the crime scene? Everyone was fighting over why there wasn’t a sexual aspect and I was trying to convince them she was a women unsub when the hair came back matching our victims best friend, who also knew victim number 1.”

He’s so happy, his smile is the biggest any of his teammates have ever seen, he lifts her and twirls her around and no one can believe the sight. Spencer Reid the uptight, overly smart, always following proper procedure, Doctor at the FBI; was spinning his girlfriend around as he kissed her cheek.

“You are a genius,” he compliments her as he sets her back down and places another kiss on her lips.

“I know,” she laughs, “I beat your score by one day.”

“I hate you,” he kisses her again and by now they don’t realize they have an audience. It’s incredibly convincing to everyone except each other.

“No, you love me,” she whispers, kissing him again before they hear someone clear their throat.

“Do you want to help with ours?” Derek asks, jumping into the moment and reminding them that they’re in public. “We’re just doing non-urgent consults today.”

“Am I allowed?” She lights up.

Derek nods, “I don’t see why not, as long as you just tell your ideas to us and don’t file anything then I think it’s legal?”

So she helps and it’s the most exhilarating thing since having sex with Spencer. She’s in her element, looking at small details and making connections that even leave Spencer humming and ha-ing. She has a younger insight than the rest of the team, she’s exactly why they hired Spencer in the first place and now she was shining brighter than him.

But he loved it.

Every time she made a connection or she had a suggestion that helped one of them on their own train of thought, Spencer would smile at her like she hung the stars in the night sky. He was proud of her in a way she hasn’t seen in many people before, filling her heart with warmth and hope that maybe he can love her for real one day.

—

She was possibly the love of his life and the more he saw her work and the more he knew her mind; the more he fell. She walked around his office and talked to his friends as if she was always meant to be there, and a part of him really wanted her to be.

He snuck away to go talk to Hotch, closing his office door as he sat down, “what’s wrong?”

“Y/N isn’t really my girlfriend,” he whispers. “She’s pretending so I could get everyone to stop bothering me about dating, and I understand it looks like she’s using me to get close to the team but I really do think she would be an excellent asset to the unit even if she was just in the office—“

“Reid,” Hotch cuts him off and a smile builds. “I already sent her an offer to take Anderson's job while he’s out on paternity leave.”

“Oh,” he smiles to himself. “Pretend I never said anything.”

“It stays in these 4 walls, don’t worry,” Hotch smiles back, “but you should tell her.”

“Tell her what?”

“That you’re in love with her.”

“I’m not,” he lies, “really, I do love her but I’m not in love with her, there is a difference.”

“I know,” Hotch reminds him. “Did you know that I only joined the school musical to get close to Haley? I did whatever I could to get her to fall in love with me and didn’t even realize it when she did because I was so worried she didn’t.”

“Oh.”

Hotch nods with another smile, “you don’t have to tell her until you’re ready, obviously, but you should tell her before it’s too late.”

“I will,” he whispers. “Thanks, Aaron.”

“Why don’t you guys head out early?” He offers, “we could all use a day off with the people we love.”

When he walks back down from Aaron's office, Y/N is with Emily and JJ discussing how she caught her fake unsub at school that morning. She doesn’t brag, she loves to mention her classmates by name and verbatim explains how they helped her. She is a team player, a genius, beautiful, kind… she really is the love of his life.

“Hey,” he places his hand on her lower back as he slides into the conversation. “Hotch said we can all leave early if we wanted?”

“Sure,” she smiles, “actually, did you want to come with me to buy a dress for your thing?”

“That would be fun,” he agrees, wrapping his other arm around her so he can rest his chin on her shoulder and hold her. “Remember I’m buying it so don’t stress about the price.”

“You’re too nice to me,” she replies.

“I just love you,” his voice is as low as he can make it but everyone still hears.

She holds him back tighter, in a silent ‘I love you, too’ and they hear JJ and Emily swoon.

They’re quick to get their things and head out, she hands Spencer her keys and lets him drive to the mall so she can relax, she’s done a lot today.

She’s so quiet on the drive, she holds his hand like she always does and she just looks out the window, she’s peaceful and content with the nothingness of spending alone time with Spencer. They were always just quiet together, sometimes they laughed till they cried and sometimes he could make her scream but most of the time they were quiet.

“Have you checked your email?”

She smiles as she turns to him and her grip on his hand tightened, “what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything, I just told hotch the truth so that he could offer you a job, but he already had before I went in there but he’s a good secret keeper, believe me.”

“Oh,” her smile disappears. “So he knows we’re not really dating?”

He nods, “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I guess we’re going to have to find a convincing way to break up for them and still be able to hang out all the time,” she worries aloud. “Because I don’t want to stop this any time soon, I hope you know that. I really like spending time with you.”

“I feel the same way,” he agrees. “I promise, we can just tell them we work better as friends and they might believe us?”

“I don’t think they will,” she frowns again. “JJ told me not to break your heart today, but I feel like if we break up I’m going to break all of theirs.”

“We could have a fake ugly breakup, and not talk to each other publicly for a bit and then be friends again?” He suggests, “Penelope and Kevin did that.”

She nods, still frowning. She interlocks their fingers this time and she holds his hand instead of just anxiously fiddling with his fingers. She really doesn’t want to let go, and he’s almost convinced she feels the same way.

The banquet is on Saturday, she has one last week of school before her graduation and then they’re done. He thinks about asking her, about what would be the best time to tell her he was in love with her and ask her to be his real girlfriend.

Maybe he’ll do it after the banquet? Maybe he’ll do it after her graduation? He just really wants to do it before she meets his mom. He wants his mom to meet her as the love of his life and his best friend.

He hated many things, but as he kept glancing at her as he drove he realized he hated one thing most of all. He hated that he couldn’t love her as much as she deserved, at least not yet. He wanted to shower her in love, he wanted to protect her and care for her, he wanted to show her off and make love to her and never leave her side.

It hurts, his heart physically aches as he thinks about that. If he had to feel like this to know his love was real, then the pain was worth it. She was always worth it, and he would hurt as long as possible, forever even, if it meant he could be around her just as long.

He held her hand tighter in the silence which made her turn to him, he had no idea he had been crying until she leans over and wipes his cheeks, “I love you, you know that?”

“I love you too,” he smiles but he can’t keep the conversation there, he’s feeling trapped and so he changes the topic. “What colour dress were you thinking?”

The quick-change makes her laugh, “probably black.”

“Are you sure?”

She nods, “I don’t need to stand out beside you any more than I already do.”

“What does that mean?”

She bits her lip, “some of the people in my class are saying that I’m only doing so well because you’re helping me cheat and that I’m just fucking you to get a job… just like I thought they would.”

“At the end of the day, we have a friendship they will never understand, we have great sex because we want to, you’re smarter than me, and the BAU wants you… so who is the real winner?” He’s always going to be her number one cheerleader.

“You’re right,” she smiles again finally, “as always.”

—

He convinces her to get a red dress.

She hasn’t had a pretty dress like this one since her prom and that was 6 years ago. She hasn’t been to a party or mingled with people in just as long, she didn’t realize how lonely she had been while chasing her dreams until Spencer came along.

He was one of the dreams. She saw him talk once, years ago on a school trip, and she fell in love with him a little, even back then. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to be him or be with him back then, doing everything in her power to get into the criminal psych degree at her local college, she just wanted to be like him.

Now she’s liked by him.

Every night he goes to his home across the hall and he does his own nightly routine before coming back to her apartment for the night. She’s too emotional to sleep with him today, she knows that if she has sex with him she’s going to say something stupid or cry after because being this close to him without being honest with him is killing her.

Something in him has changed too, he’s less scared to initiate contact, he doesn’t jump anymore when she hugs him or when she smacks his bum as she passes him. Now he’s wrapping his arms around her while she cooks dinner, and he kisses her cheek randomly when they’re in public.

He tells her that he loves her.

She’s confused and she has no one to talk to about it.

She lays back against her pillows and closes her eyes, she knows she’s going to cry soon, and she doesn’t know what to do because she doesn’t want to cry in front of him and he would be upset if she told him to not come back tonight.

The stress of the situation just makes her cry more as she stresses herself into another anxiety attack, much like the first night she talked to him. She just lets it happen, the anxiety in her stomach builds and the tears slip past her eyes and suddenly she’s sobbing into her pillow hard enough that she doesn’t hear him come back.

She jumps at the feeling of his hand on her back as he sits on the edge of the bed, “what’s wrong?”

She just sits up and hugs him, and he hugs her back and they stay there like that for a while. When she calms down, she pulls back from him and wipes her eyes, “my period is coming.” She’s not really lying, and he believes her.

“Does it normally make you this emotional?”

He’s never really experienced her mood swings, he has no idea what he’s in for, she nods. “Yeah, and I have really bad anxiety which just gets worse around this time.”

“And you’re not on anything?”

She shakes her head, “I’m waiting to get onto the good healthcare when I get a job with the bureau, I can’t afford to work and go to school, I’m glad I had enough scholarship money left to rent this place long enough to go to the academy.”

“Oh.”

She just nods, “I’ve never had much money like my parents have been saving for 2 years to buy plane tickets to Virginia so that they can see me graduate. They started saving before I even got in. I went to community college on a scholarship and I get a lot of money from applying for bursaries.”

“Are you going to take the CARD job or the BAU offer?”

She shrugs, “I’m not sure yet, but probably CARD.”

“Why?”

“I can’t work with you,” she whispers. “It makes me feel like I don’t deserve to be there like I’m using you and that all my work isn’t that great. I’m just Doctor Spencer Reids girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, imposter syndrome is a leading factor in depression among child prodigies, once you reach a certain age and you stop receiving awards for your work, it’s hard to believe that you’re still doing a good job.”

She knows he gets it, he has probably said the same fact to himself to calm down before. “Thank you.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

She nods, pulling back the covers and moving over so he can snuggle in beside her. She holds him, resting her head on his chest and taking a deep inhale of his cologne, this was the love of her life and if this was as close as she was ever going to be to him, she was going to take it.

He kisses the top of her head and holds her in his arms at just the right pressure to calm her down. She feels so comfortable with him but she still feels like shit, she doesn’t stop crying, and he just holds her through it.

“Do you want to tell me what’s really wrong?” He whispers after a while, he sounds worried.

“No,” she whispers. “I can’t.”

“Is it about me?”

“Yeah,” she cries again, “and I don’t have any other friends to talk to about us and now you’ve told hotch and I have no one to talk to about how this is kinda stressing me out.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” his voice is still scared and she knows he’s going to panic regardless and just send them around in a circle of constant anxiety. But his tone is more apologetic than one fuck up.

“Who else did you tell?” She sits up, “I thought this was just between us?”

“I needed advice, the same reason you are reacting right now, you’re stressing me out,” Spencer finally talks back with passion and she knows they’re about to fight for no reason.

“I never said you were stressing me out. I said our situation was, but I think I need to sleep alone now, Spencer” she’s confident and stern even though she’s crying.

“We can’t go to bed mad at each other. You even said the mornings are the worst, we can’t hate each other for no reason tomorrow,” he starts to cry, not knowing where he went wrong and she can see it on his face.

“I just don’t have what you have, and I’ve always been trying to copy you…”

“What?”

She sighs and wipes her tears, “I have had a big fat, fan-girly, crush on you since I was 18, I came here with my class to watch you do a talk on philias and phobias and then I knew I wanted to get into the academy and I wanted to beat your record and join the BAU, and I just thought; one day I’m going to be friends with this guy and catch bad guys with him and now I am and I’m so alone.”

“You have me?”

“I know,” she tries to smile, “but I only have you and I can tell you almost everything. Like my biggest stressor right now is that if just looking at fake crime scenes for 3 weeks has made me this anxious; what if I’m not cut out for this? What if I get to a real crime scene and I pass out or—“

“That’s only human,” he presses his lips together, awkwardly, and very Spencerly. “If you didn’t feel like this job makes you hate the world and untrusting of everyone around you; then I would think you’re crazy.”

“How do you do it?”

“I open up and let people in, but I typically wait till I’m at my lowest; crying in my friend's arms because I don’t know what to do anymore,” he smiles again, wider and toothy as she smiles back.

“Thank you,” she can’t help but tilt her head and smile as her heart settles and her brain calms down a bit, “I love you.”

“Can I kiss you or is that too much right now?”

She gets in closer to him, laying back down on the pillow and looking at him. They’re closer enough to kiss, and she just takes a moment to look at him, resting her hand on his cheek as he wraps around her waist and pulls her in closer.

“We’re okay?” He asks with his lips right against her, his breath is hot and he smells like toothpaste.

“We’re okay, but no more talking tonight, okay?” She whispers.

He nods, leaning in and kissing her finally. She knows she shouldn’t be kissing him, she knows that she should be mad at herself, but she also knew that even just pretending that he loved her back was good enough.

—

He gets called away to a case on Wednesday morning, he’s too busy to really call her and he doesn’t text back. He feels bad about it but he knows she wanted space to think anyway, what he didn’t expect was for her to reach out to Penelope.

She’s in the office with her on Friday, tired of Spencer ignoring her so she went to the one place he couldn’t avoid her; Penelope’s office.

“How can I help you today, my fine furry friends?” Y/N answers the phone with a smirk, copying Penelope’s line perfectly, they can hear them high five through the line.

“Y/N?” Spencer is the first to catch it, “what are you doing there?”

“I came to meet Anderson and see if I’d like to take his job or not,” she teases, pretending she wasn’t there just to bother him.

Hotch cuts in, asking the question he needed to ask before hanging up, “not sure what’s going on at home but we’re too close to cracking this case for schoolyard games.”

“Yes sir,” he nods and looks away, retreating to the other side of the room to stare at the map and pretend to find connections.

“Crack this and you can go home to her,” Derek whispers with a smile, thinking he’s helping the situation.

“That’s not where I want to be right now.”

“Woah,” Derek catches it, “what happened?”

“Nothing,” he’s quick to get him to stop it but he really wants advice, “she’s stressed out and she took it out on me and I wasn’t very nice back.”

“You said sorry and you pretended you were over it, didn’t you?”

He turns away from Derek with a nod, he wants to come out with it and get it over with and he’s so mad and embarrassed he just starts to cry a little, “I don’t want to lose her.”

“How could you?”

“You have no idea,” he rolls his eyes lightly and scoffs, confusing Derek.

“And I won't unless you want to talk to someone about what’s really bothering you, but you’ve been happier since you met her and I like seeing you happy, and Savannah likes double dates,” he scolds him with a smile, patting his shoulder lightly. “now let's crack this and maybe on the plane you will tell me what’s up?”

“Sure,” he says, but he doesn’t want to.

However, Derek Morgan is good at a lot of things, and one of those things is getting Spencer to calm down enough to tell him anything. Everyone is asleep on the plane, it’s just the two of them at the back together when Spencer finally feels confident enough to say it.

“I lied to you, a long time ago… and it’s just the first one.”

Derek doesn’t look angry, “okay, explain your thought process. I need to know how this pretty brain of yours works.”

He smiles a bit, “I slept with Elle the night before she shot that rapist in Ohio.”

“You did not?” Derek's voice gets a little too loud and they stop to make sure no one woke up.

“I did, but you still always made jokes about finally getting me some lovin’ and it bothered me for a while and I never told you, instead I offered to help my neighbour with her homework if she pretended to date me,” his voice lowers as the words continue and he only stares at the table between them.

“Spencer, I’m sorry,” Derek apologizes first. “I didn’t know I was upsetting you, is there anything else I do that upsets you?”

He shakes his head in a silent no, still not looking at him, he can't.

“What happened between you and Y/N?” He jumps to the main issue, fine with what happened because he feels bad for causing the issue in the first place.

“We started sleeping together.”

Derek sighs, “you have such a big brain, you can remember everything she’s ever said to you and yet you can’t see that she’s in love with you.”

“She’s good at pretending,” he pushes it away.

“No she’s not, because she’s pretending she doesn’t love you right now; the same way you are and you’re both fucking it up for each other,” Derek gives it to him straight. “You have always been loveable, but you have a very hard time accepting it, Spencer.”

“Yeah,” he starts to cry a little more.

“Go home and talk to her and tell her the truth,” it’s the best advice he can give and Spencer knows it. “What’s the worst that can go wrong?”

“She does love me back but in a few years, she realizes I’m too much and she leaves me,” his voice is the saddest Derek has ever heard it.

He gets up from his seat and hugs Spencer, sliding into the seat beside him and wrapping his arms around him, “you have never been too much. You just surround yourself with people who aren’t good enough to love you for who you are.”

“She’s better than me.”

“Which is exactly what I mean, she’s not going to leave you, believe me, once you love Spencer Reid for who he really is, it’s hard to stop,” he speaks from experience, thinking of what could have been between them if either of them had tried harder in the past.

“She’s the love of my life,” he confirms, “I’m never going to love anyone else the way I love her.”

They get the word that they’re going to be landing soon, Spencer wipes his tears and buckles in for the descent, avoiding everyone’s stares and questions on the ride back to headquarters. He’s nervous to see her, he knows his face is puffy and she’ll be there waiting for him with Penelope, but he has to do it.

“Would you wait here, I need to tell her now and she might not give me a ride home if it doesn’t go well,” he asks Derek before heading to Penelope, “she was already mad at me for telling Hotch the truth.”

“Okay, sure,” Derek smiles, reaching out a hand for Spencer, “come to me when you need me next time, okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees with a small smile, heading out to find his fake girlfriend.

She’s not with Penelope, no she’s in the filing room with Anderson and the other temps all talking and laughing, and it sounds far too interesting to interrupt. He waits outside the door and smiles at her laughter until he hears it.

“So be honest,” Agent Camden asks, “are you sleeping with Reid for this job?”

“If I was sleeping my way to the top, don’t you think I would have picked Morgan? Or Prentiss even?” She laughs and it’s like someone stabs a knife through his heart.

He turns around and heads back to Derek, “take me home.”

“Okay,” he doesn’t pry, he just grabs his coat and keys and follows Spencer to the garage.

—

He’s really ignoring her.

She finds out from Emily that Spencer left with Derek, and that he looked rather pissed off when he asked for a ride. It breaks her heart a little and she doesn’t know what to do next, she just drives home and finds herself knocking on his door.

“Let me in, please, Spencer!” She begs from behind his door.

He opens it and looks at her with a puffy red face, tear-stained cheeks and swollen lips, he’s been crying for a while. “What?”

“What did I do?”

“You slept with me,” he whispers, “and I told you I wouldn’t react well.”

“Is it my fault you’re crying?” She asks softly and he nods, “do you want to tell me?”

He closes his eyes and shakes his head, “are we still going to the banquet together tomorrow?”

“I really fucked up,” is all he can muster, crying again as he closes the door and goes to cry in his room.

She just opens the door again and follows him inside. Kicking off her shoes she crawls into bed beside him and wraps herself around him, “you don’t have to tell me but I am here for you, always.”

“I love you,” he says it like it’s the problem before he rests his head in the crook of her neck and holds her back for the first time in days.

“I love you, too, Spencer,” she cries along with him. They cry until he’s asleep and she’s just there holding him in her jeans and she’s really uncomfortable but she loves him too much to let go.

“More than you will ever know.”

Permanent tag list:

@g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @blanchardsbk @idonotexiste @measure-in-pain @dreams-in-blxck @doc-padfoot @nomajdetective @xoxomgg @mggswhorificlover @dinonuggets1967 @meganskane @gubeskneescrew

New Romantics tag list:

@bunny-script @ficsrecsforhrnybitches @ne--yo-pets @rexorangecouny @valerieweasley @beepbooptoop @coldlilheart @andiebeaword @anonymous-reading

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #new romantics

382 notes · View notes