#SO while it seems super daunting to start from scratch like this i think i’ve decided it’s worth it for me

[purplesauris]

Now Comes The Tide

Din is very unused to being around someone who's mastered the Force, and who seems intent on bothering him with it constantly. Said Jedi seems wholly unaware.

I am out of CONTROL and no one can stop me

Read it on AO3 here!

The first time that Din had felt the power that radiated off of Luke he'd been overwhelmed. It was such a foreign concept to him, for someone to feel, for all intents and purposes, like he was everywhere. The worst part was that Luke didn't even seem to realize the way Din shivered whenever Luke used the Force, the way he felt each grip of his armor as he was sent flying back like the gentlest of caresses. Din had no clue if he was supposed to feel this way, to feel so intimately the pull of Luke's power, but it left his nerves frazzled when the onslaught of Luke's attention never stopped. 

It was worse when Din took his armor off- there was no protective layer between him and the outside world, and every time Luke walked past him or reached out Din's toes curled in his boots. The same feeling didn't apply to having seen Ahsoka or Grogu use the Force- it seemed inherently tied to Luke somehow, as if the way Luke manipulated the Force resounded so deeply within Din that he couldn't keep his thoughts straight. It was very rapidly becoming a problem, one that Din didn't know how to solve without breaking down and shouting at Luke to keep his hands to himself. 

So he'd taken his supply run a week early, if only to hide away in his ship where the only pressure around him was the constant ebb and flow of recycled air filling the cabin. There was only one other person he knew who knew even a smidgeon about Jedi aside from Ahsoka herself, and Din did not fancy tracking her down to ask stupid questions that she would only smirk at, the same way she had when Din had asked about Grogu so long ago. So he went to the next best source- a bounty hunter who had captured Luke no less than two times, and was grinning, smug as can be when Din came trudging into his base on Tatooine. 

"Mand'alor." 

"Fett." Din looked around the room he'd descended into, taking in the blaster marks on the wall that showed him obvious signs of a recent fight. "Redecorating?"

"Adds a certain charm." Din snorts, as if that's what you'd call it, and Boba’s voice is amused, that same grin on his face. “You’re a week early.”

“We were running low.”

“On patience?” Din tenses, trying to hide the way his fingers twitch, but Boba is observant and he only chuckles. “What did your Jetii do now?”

Din glances at Fennec, perched on the arm of Boba’s throne, the woman’s eyebrows going up for a moment before she sighs, rolling her eyes. She rises from her spot, taking her rifle with her as she disappears somewhere deeper within the facility to give them privacy. “What do you know about him and his… powers?”

“Not much.” Boba leans back in his chair, fingers tapping against the arm in a slow, steady drumming that puts Din on edge. “He’s strong, a skilled fighter.”

“I know that. What I don’t know is-” Din cuts himself off, gritting his teeth, and Boba tilts his head. “I don’t know why I’m- reacting.”

“And you came here... To ask me?” Boba talks slowly, as if parsing out why Din would want to come here in the first place. Boba scrutinizes him with new eyes, tilting his head in such a distinctly familiar way that Din feels like he could be looking in a mirror. “You don’t react to Grogu, do you?”

“No. Not- this way.” Boba laughs then, shaking his head and covering his face with a gloved hand. Din feels as if the laughter is directly aimed at him, more than at the situation, and Din clenches his hands into fists. "I didn't come to-"

"I know why you came, Mand'alor, but I don't have answers. You'll have to ask Skywalker." Boba rises from his throne at last, broad form filling the room as he steps heavily down off of the dais. "Has he told you anything about being force sensitive?"

"I'm not force sensitive." Din shoots back, frowning when Boba inclines his head, brows raising. It only serves to fuel Boba's amusement, and he sighs heavily, clapping Din on the back. 

"Go home, Mand'alor. Secretive as he may be, you've got the last Jetii wrapped around your pinky finger. Use that." Boba's expression has turned serious, and Din scowls within his helmet. "Make sure you get supplies though, or he'll think you were running away."

"Fuck off, Fett." Boba's booming laughter follows Din all the way back to the Razor Crest. Boba is right, though, of course he is, and Din really did mean for it to be a supply run, so he works through it like he always does. He hunts Luke's tea down, finds something that looks fluffy and soft for Grogu to play with, and takes a few bounties just to work his frustration out. 

So what if they come back a bit more bruised than usual? So what if Din is a bit more silent when he drops them off and collects his credits? Cara and Karga know better than to comment on his foul mood, the former instead taking him out to the lava flats and affectionately beating the shit out of him. Din hasn't had a hand to hand fight without Luke's powers getting in the way in so long that fighting Cara now seems slow- predictable. Cara seems surprised by his newfound skill, but still manages to toss him like a sack of grain, Din hitting the ground and staying there, laughing like a fool. Cara collapses on the ground next to him, bumping her shoulder against his pauldron. Her chest rises with her own uneven breaths, broken by her laughs, and she's still chuckling when she talks.

"Remember Sorgan?"

"Mhmm."

"That widow was super, super into you."

"She was nice." Din agrees, Cara snorting next to him and continuing her thought.

"Why does everyone you meet fall in love with you? Is it the fact that you can fight?"

"You in love with me, Dune?"

"Very funny, Mando." Din snickers quietly, turning his head when he feels Cara shift next to him. He finds her watching him, eyes narrowed, and Din sits up, suddenly feeling vulnerable laying on the ground the way he is. Cara doesn't move, watching him as a smile grows over her face. "Have you ever fallen in love? Before Skywalker?"

"If I say yes, will you believe me?"

"Not a bit." Din bobs his head in a nod, as if that makes sense, and Cara sits up, smile fading into something softer. "He's good for you. You laugh more than you used to."

“Maybe you’re just funnier.” Cara laughs, but Din can’t deny that he feels… Happier. With Grogu and Luke he feels like he has a purpose, like he’s more than a faceless bounty hunter scraping by. He has a home, a clan to go back to, and that thought sobers him. He’s never dreaded being away from Luke, enjoyed being able to go out and get what they didn’t have, but he misses him. It’s an itch he can’t scratch, the lonely ache in his chest when he’s gone, but it makes going home, seeing the look on Luke’s face that much sweeter. Which he should be doing, he realizes. “I’ve gotta go.”

“Yeah, me too. Duty calls.” Cara rises to her feet first, holding out a hand and hoisting Din to his feet. Din tightens his grip on her hand, standing there for a moment. Cara grips his hand tighter in response, smiling and letting him go when his grip loosens. She shoos him off in the direction of the port while she heads the opposite way, and Din’s trip back home is spent in quiet contemplation. 

He still has no idea what is going on with him, with Luke’s power, but there aren’t any other options other than talking to him about it. It shouldn’t seem like such a daunting task, but how do you tell the man you’re very much in love with that his powers do weird things to you without ruining the relationship? Din supposes he could just be straight forward about it, like he is everything else, but his cheeks burn already just thinking of the admission. Din will just have to buck up and face that conversation when the time comes, because the planet they call home is rapidly approaching, and soon Din is too busy with landing the ship and unloading to think much more about it. 

Luke is waiting for him at the edge of the city, Grogu balanced on his shoulder, little hands in his hair as Luke floats rocks in a circle above his head. Din’s heart goes fuzzy at the sight, and the closer he gets the more the feeling of Luke washes over him. It’s a pleasant, buzzing warmth under his skin, one that Din didn’t realize he’d missed, and he adjusts the heavy pack against his back.

“Did you see me come in?” 

“Sensed you. Everything go okay?” Din hums noncommittally, closing his eyes when Luke reaches out to cup the back of his neck, drawing him in and pressing his forehead to the cool metal of Din’s helmet. This close with Luke’s fingers on the back of his neck, twitching in time with the rocks orbiting them, Din feels an echo of what Luke must feel all the time. An unearthly, groaning abyss of something around him, permeating the air in layers that never quite let up. Din steps back, Luke’s hand falling away, and he can breathe again, eyes opening in time to see a curious expression flit over Luke’s face. 

“Hungry?” Din asks, desperately wanting to shatter the fragile thing lingering in the air.

“For your cooking? I think I could settle.” Luke grins, wincing when Grogu pulls his hair, gurgling happily and reaching for his father. Din chucks him gently under the chin, voice fond. 

“Yeah kid, me too. Let’s go home.”

                                                            -*-

Din really, really doesn't know how to start this particular conversation. Grogu is down for the night, snoring loud enough to wake the dead, and Din has finally let himself somewhat relax. He’s got Luke up on the counter, or rather, Luke had seated himself on the counter while Din cleaned up, and Din hadn’t let him down since. Din leans into the fingers in his hair, eyes closed as Luke trails kisses over his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, his forehead. The feeling of Luke’s hands or lips on his face is a novelty he still hasn’t gotten over, and Din can tell he’s grinning when Luke bumps their foreheads together. 

“You’re thinking.” Luke prods, Din leaning harder into his touches. “Have been since you got home.”

“Your jetii mind powers tell you that?” Luke snorts, pressing a soft kiss to Din’s mouth before cupping his cheeks, thumbs pressing lightly under his chin to tip Din’s head back. Din blinks his eyes open, locking eyes with Luke, who wears a soft frown on his face. 

“They don’t have to. What’s eating you, Din?”

“Nothing.” Din’s stomach twists uneasily at the sad twitch of Luke’s lips, but he leans forward, kissing him without thinking and smiling when Luke softens under his hands, a hand sliding into Din's hair to hold him close. Din doesn’t pull away to talk, letting his lips brush against Luke’s with every word. “I have… to figure out how to say it.” 

He expects Luke to protest, or argue, but Luke hums against his lips and smiles. “Okay.” Din makes a noise, a question, and Luke’s smile grows wider. “We’re adults, Din, I can wait until you’re ready to talk. For now, how about we spar?”

“It’s pitch dark outside.” 

“That’s never stopped us before.” Luke points out, and well… He does have a point. Anticipation curls in Din’s gut at the thought, and he takes a step back, letting Luke slide off the counter, straightening his clothes and brushing a hand through his hair to let it fall back over his forehead. Din grabs his helmet on the way to the door, slipping it on and swallowing so his ears will pop as the pressure regulates. He allows himself a moment to pop in and check on Grogu, but he’s sleeping away, clutching the new toy that Din had brought back with him. 

Din shivers when cold, firm pressure curls around him, and he stalks outside where Luke waits just inside the treeline, wagging his fingers mockingly and grinning when Din draws his blade. He’s used to the intense, fevered glow of the darksaber by now, and the green glow from Luke’s saber is a welcome sight, even muted by his visor. Din walks in a slow, even circle around Luke, watching and waiting for the telltale roll of Luke’s wrist right before he gets serious. He watches, and he waits, shivering when the feeling of Luke’s power swells, latching onto him with singular focus as Luke lunges for where he’s about to take a step.

Din is expecting that, though, darksaber already in place to intercept the blow, and Luke’s eyes flicking up to his as sparks rain from their blades. Din pushes back, shoves into Luke’s space and pushes him onto the defensive. It’s probably a mistake to do so so soon after their match has begun, but Din is fueled by the fire that rages through him when Luke fights, eyes flicking back and forth, tracking Luke’s movements as their sabers meet over and over again in showers of sparks that sizzle against his chest piece. 

Luke pushes harder now, using his powers to throw Din off balance, to test his limits of what he can fight against while trying to gain the upper hand at the same time. Din’s hands are steady around the hilt of his saber even when the rest of him shivers and twitches with each brush of Luke’s power. It’s easy for Din to lose himself in the feelings of fighting, the shuffling of his feet and the way his heart pounds in his chest as he leans back, narrowly avoiding a lightsaber to the side of the head. 

“Watch it.” He barks, glaring when Luke grins sheepishly and adjusts his angle. His helmet can take as much as his armor can, but his neck is semi exposed and Din doesn’t want to lose his head. 

“You can stop, if you want.” Din growls at that, because that isn’t what he meant, but the firm hand of Luke’s power clamps down on him, dragging him forward as Din brings his sword up, letting it hiss and spit against Luke’s shield as Luke’s hand brushes over his hip. The touch is quick, fleeting and gone, but Luke’s handprint lingers like a brand, and when Din tries to take a step back, jerking against Luke’s influence his power surges up around Din, raking over his skin in fluid waves of ecstasy. A gasp escapes him before he can help it, loud and raw, and Luke’s lightsaber dies out abruptly. A hand wraps around Din’s, thumb finding the button on the hilt and retracting the blade of the darksaber as Din’s head empties out. “Din-”

Another wave of feeling cascades over Din then and he takes a step back, sweeping Luke’s legs out from under him in one smooth movement. Luke goes down with a shout and Din is on top of him before he can move. His beskar digs unforgivingly into the soft parts of Luke’s body but Luke doesn’t seem to care, struggling against him, fingers digging into the padding of Din’s hips. Din presses down, trying to pin his hands, but Luke’s legs come up behind him, hips shoving up and throwing Din off balance. Din topples forward, hands slapping the dirt on either side of Luke’s head as Luke’s arms wrap around him, rolling them over and over until Din’s head is spinning and Luke’s got his back pressed into the dirt. 

Din struggles against Luke’s hold, knowing that they’re just about as easily matched as they can be, but phantom hands clamp down on his ribs, keeping him in place as Luke moves, shoving Din’s legs apart in favor of fitting himself between them. Luke stares, blue eyes wide and dark in the low light filtering through the trees, and Din’s back arches uselessly off the ground when Luke’s power flushes through him, heat pooling between his legs and lips parting as he chokes on a keening cry of Luke’s name. The lock on Din’s helmet pops hard enough for Din to feel it, and Din rips it off himself, pulling in huge, gulping breaths of air as Luke leans over him. 

Din hardly has a chance to breathe between the onslaught of phantom touches tracing every inch of him and Luke kissing him senseless, but he doesn’t care. He buries a gloved hand into Luke’s hair and twists the strands between his fingers, lapping into his mouth and groaning when Luke presses his hips forward. “Luke-”

“That’s what you were thinking about.” Luke breathes, pulling back just enough to look at the way Din’s cheeks flush.

“It’s not-”

“Don’t lie, Din, it doesn’t feel nearly as nice as this does.” Luke rolls his hips forward, drawing another gasp from Din’s lips and grinning when Din presses his thighs tight to Luke’s sides. “Is that why you left early?”

“Yes- no- you won’t stop touching me.” 

“And that’s a bad thing?” Luke tilts his head, considering, but Din’s hand drops to grab weakly at his hip, tugging him forward, and Luke rolls his hips again, giving Din just an instant of friction. 

“I can- can feel whenever you- do your magic thing. It's distracting." Luke huffs out a laugh, and the reprimand that it isn’t magic is on the tip of his tongue, Din can tell, but Luke tilts his head suddenly. His brow furrows just a bit, determined, and Din’s hips buck up off of the forest floor when concentrated feeling brushes over his cock. Din's breath goes funny almost immediately, odd, hiccupy gasps, and his fingers dig into Luke's hip. “Luke-”

“So sensitive.” The Jedi purrs, leaning down and kissing along the edge of his jaw. Din arches his neck, whimpering, and Luke latches on, sucking soft marks into the sweat lined skin Din bears for him. “Should have told me about this before, Din. What fun we could have had.”

“Telling you now-” Din’s thigh jerks, and Luke laughs huskily as Din’s breath chokes off in his throat, whole body going taut as he comes. Din can feel Luke smiling against the column of his throat, but whatever control Luke is exerting only gets worse, dragging along the sensitive bud until Din is writhing, trying to both get away from the sensation and chase it. “I need- I-”

“I’ve got you. Tell me what you want, Din, I’ll give it to you.” Din brings both hands up to grab at Luke’s hair, dragging him into a wet, messy kiss that he can only half focus on. He doesn’t know how to articulate what he wants past the hot, insistent ache between his thighs, but Luke has never truly needed words when Din wants something bad enough. Luke groans against his lips, kissing him hard before pulling back, pressing their foreheads together in an effort to get Din to concentrate. Brown eyes so dark they look black bore into blue, and Luke’s eyelids flutter before he looks back down at Din. “You’re sure?”

Din nods frantically, tilting his head to nip at Luke’s lower lip, and Luke snatches at Din’s hip just to have something to hold on to. The first phantom press of Luke’s power against Din’s hole has Din groaning, and when Luke allows that feeling to press in, to slowly and surely spread him wide Din’s head falls back against the ground with a thud. His whole body quakes under Luke’s, hips rolling down uselessly into the sensation of Luke using his powers for something decidedly inappropriate. Luke pauses, breath shuddering from his throat, and Din moans, muffled when Luke kisses him, trapping the sound between the two of them as Luke’s hand draws back, the phantom feeling drawing back as well. 

It makes Din whine, being empty, but then Luke is pressing back in, deeper and more insistent and Din sees stars. Heat rockets through him with each shove of Luke’s power opening him up and keeping him full, and Din loses track of time completely. It’s a feeling he’s never had before, being so completely full yet knowing that Luke isn’t moving a muscle. It’s too hot for him to feel any kind of shame, and he groans when Luke pops the button to his fly, tugging the zipper down and shoving his hand past the layers of his clothes. “Luke-”

“I can only focus on one- fuck you’re wet-” Din laughs breathlessly at the first slick slide of Luke’s thumb against his cock, the laugh petering off when Luke’s power surges, pressing up harder into him and making him clench down. Din bites down on his lower lip to try and dampen the noise, not wanting to be loud, but Luke’s free hand comes up, thumb snagging his lip from between his teeth. “Don’t hide- don’t-”

Din moans out loud, unable to help himself, and Luke’s thumb slips into his mouth, pressing against his tongue and dragging over his teeth. Din tries to wrap his lips around the appendage and suck but Luke presses his thumb in, Din choking softly until he lets his jaw go slack. Luke eases his thumb back, letting Din flick the tip of his tongue over the pad of his thumb while moaning lewdly. It’s shockingly loud in Din’s ears, his cheeks heating in embarrassment, but Luke moans right along with him, shaking in between his legs and other thumb speeding up on his cock. Din whines, trying to warn him, but Luke’s only focus is on him, on the wet warmth of him and keeping his power firmly filling Din up. Din’s body can’t tell whether the sensation is warm or cold, but it doesn't seem to matter much when Luke rubs a tight circle on his cock, thumb applying firm, steady pressure that sends Din careening over the edge for the second time in the span of only a few minutes. 

“Good?” Luke whispers, hand stilling once Din whines at the overstimulation. Din nods, but his skin is still crawling with need and he only has one thought in mind. 

“Want you in me.” Luke swears under his breath, a rather colorful word that makes Din wheeze out a laugh. Luke draws both his hands off of Din to wrestle with his clothes, unlatching Din’s thigh plates and yanking his pants down his hips. Din helps as much as he can, shoving his boots off and letting them fall somewhere in the dirt behind them and then twisting so Luke can yank his pants down off his legs, tossed to the ground somewhere near them. Luke hurries to get the fly of his own pants undone, but he doesn’t have to remove anything, just pulling his cock out and groaning at the first touch. 

Din goes up on an elbow, watching with heavy lidded eyes as Luke strokes himself a few times, smearing the precum that gathers at the tip. Din lets his legs fall open wider, other hand sliding down to spread his lips, and Luke’s eyes flick down to watch with interest. “You’re gorgeous.” 

Din scoffs, but his chest is warm with affection and he smiles when Luke shuffles forward, kissing him sweetly. Luke’s hands pet over his hips as he lifts him to settle easier in his lap, thighs tucking under Din to support him. It’s a bit weird to have all the rest of his armor on still, but he’s sufficiently distracted when Luke grinds his hips forward, slipping through the slick that’s made a mess of his thighs. “Oh.” Din gasps out when Luke angles his hips, pressing in slowly yet steadily. The phantom fucking that Din experienced earlier was definitely cold, because the hard, insistent filling of Luke’s cock burns in the best way. “Oh- LukeLukeLuke-”

Din’s hips lift of their own accord, easing the angle, and he’s so sinfully wet that Luke slides in faster than he means to, pressing to the hilt and voice cracking on a moan. Din shakes, clenching down on the length of him, and Luke pitches forward, forehead pressing into Din’s collarbone as his hips snap forward, forcing a loud, breathy noise from Din’s throat. Luke braces one hand next to Din’s ribs while the other grabs at his hip, steadying him as he breathes in slowly through his nose, letting it out through his mouth moments later. “You’re tight, I-”

Luke’s words strangle in his throat when Din purposefully squeezes down around him, hips rutting forward messily. Luke is gorgeous and amazing like this, eyes firmly shut and jaw clenched in concentration as a moan falls from his lips, and Din can't help but stare. "You can move." Din teases, smirking when Luke peeks an eye open to glare down at him. "Really, I won't bre- ah-k!" 

Din nearly eats his own words right there when Luke pulls back, slamming his hips home and grinding hard against him. Din tightens around him in response and Luke groans, hand sliding down over Din's thigh to hitch his leg higher. It changes the angle just enough to skate over that delightful little spot inside of him, and Din sighs Luke's name. Done with the teasing, Luke finds his rhythm easily, thrusting into Din in long, even strokes, pressing deep enough each time that Din's thighs quiver around him. 

Din feels hazy in a way he hasn't in a while, unable to think of anything other than the way that Luke feels in him, feels between his thighs, pressed so deep inside of him that he sees white. Din can feel when Luke loses his careful focus, rhythm going wonky and fingers twitching uselessly against Din's thigh. While he's still working toward Din's own pleasure his is rapidly approaching, and Din's heart swells at the careful attention Luke pays him. Here he is, having come twice already, and Luke is still trying to make him go again. Luke's eyes snap to his, half wild when Din very firmly thinks of what he wants, and Luke's nodding his head without really seeing, hands moving to grab at Din's ribs and haul him up. Din sits up, carefully shuffling his thighs and settling heavily in Luke's lap. The new position presses Luke deeper inside him still, making his toes curl, and he moans when Luke's hands grab at his ass, blunt fingernails digging in. Din grips Luke's shoulders as he lifts his hips, dropping them down as Luke thrusts up, carving hard into him and fucking him open. Din presses their foreheads together, panting and occasionally trying to kiss him before their rhythm forces him to pull back again.

"So good for me, fuck I love you-" Din grins then, tightening when he drops down and basking in the needy whine that drifts from Luke's lips. "So much- love you so much-"

"Come, Cyar'ika." Din whispers, listening as Luke whimpers, nodding jerkily as he fucks up desperately, groaning and hands sliding down a bit on Din's ass to spread him wider. Luke doesn't last after that command, eyelids fluttering shut as he presses up, hips stuttering and grinding up in small, tight thrusts as warmth paints Din's insides. Din's eyes roll back in his head at the feeling and he sags heavily in Luke's lap, keeping him pressed deep as he slots their lips together. 

It takes Luke a few seconds to catch on, one arm shifting to lock around Din's hip and hold him still while his hips roll up, fucking his own mess into Din and chasing the last dregs of his release. Luke's other hand slips between them, wrist cramping as he traps Din's cock between two knuckles, letting Din grind up into his hand and whine against his lips. His movements are lazy the entire time, placated, and Luke takes his time tasting the moans that Din lets free while working himself between Luke's fingers. His third orgasm is nowhere near as all enveloping as his first two, just a hazy warmth that bleeds through him and makes him throb around Luke, finally settling as Luke pulls his hand back to hug him close to his chest. 

The beskar makes it a bit odd to press closer, an unnecessary barrier, but Luke acts as if it isn't there at all, hands wandering over Din's back plate and occasionally brushing a clump of grass from his cloak. Luke eventually just tucks his face into Din's neck, seemingly dozing with Din in his lap. Din has almost drifted off himself, warm and happy when Luke speaks, voice groggy. "How long?"

"How long what?"

"Have you felt me manipulating the force?"

Din hums, shrugging and leaning his head against Luke's. "Couldn't pinpoint an exact day. After we kissed the first time. Every time after that."

"So when we spar you…"

"Most of the time. Sometimes I can drown it out, like I would an injury."

Luke scoffs, but it's playful, and Din shivers when Luke's fingers trace idle patterns over the small of his back, just under the edge of his back plate. "Thanks Din, so glad to know it's an injury."

"You try being hard all the time." Is all he says back, Luke laughing and conceding the point. "I was afraid of what it means. It- doesn't happen with anyone else."

"Good." Luke says, a note of possessiveness coloring the edge of his voice. "You're sensitive to those you care about. If that person just so happens to be a force user it- creates a unique kind of feedback loop."

"You knew this would happen?"

"Nu uh. Read about it once, in an old text. We aren't supposed to have attachments, so it never seemed prudent. I couldn't be sure you even knew what was happening half the time we talked without me actually speaking."

"That isn't part of the force that's just…"

"You being sensitive." Luke kisses Din's neck gently, breath warm across Din's skin. "It's different with us. You aren't just guessing- you know, even if your waking brain doesn't. You used it earlier, to tell me what you wanted."

Din's cheeks flush at the memory, but Luke is entirely earnest, sitting back to look Din over carefully. He must like what he sees because the blonde man grins, Din's cheeks flushing darker as his face pulls into something resembling embarrassment. Hiding his expression is something Din is woefully bad at, and he knows every twitch of his face betrays him, how he's feeling. Luke's hands smooth over his hips, thumbs pressing into the line of his hip bones, and Din turns to frown at him, brows twitching upward.

"Don't tell me you want to go again." He deadpans, Luke's lips quirking in a small, teasing smile. 

"Mm, tempting, but I was more thinking of going to take a shower." Luke's thumbs don't stop their slow, even press and Din shivers, shoving lightly at Luke's chest and lifting himself up out of Luke's lap. He's expecting the mess that standing will make, but Luke's fingers shift and Din gasps as cool pressure fills him up, fingers digging into Luke's shoulders. Luke's hands slip down to cup the sides of his thighs and he leans forward, placing a soft kiss on the skin below Din's belly button.

"Luke." Din's voice is sharp, a warning more than anything, and Luke hums, placing one last soft kiss before rising to his feet as well. Din doesn't particularly want to get redressed, but he is not walking his bare ass into the house in fear that Grogu is awake, so he shoves his legs back through his pants, leaving them unbuttoned. Luke has his boots and thigh plates in hand already while Din pads over to where his helmet was discarded, scooping it up and tucking it under his arm. Luke holds out his free hand, wagging his fingers until Din rolls his eyes and takes his hand, allowing himself to be led inside to their now shared room. Luke drops off Din's stuff and turns to strip him of the rest of his armor. "I can undress myself."

"What am I supposed to do then?" 

"Undress yourself." Luke scoffs at the idea, waving his hand, and Din rolls his eyes again. Once his armor is off Din drags Luke to the refresher, stripping himself out of his clothes while the water heats. Din is standing there, arms crossed over his chest, watching Luke undress when he sees Luke's fingers move, just a small crooking of his fingers. Din shudders, hand shooting out to grip the edge of the sink as the pressure inside him fades, and Din's cheeks heat at the way come drips onto his thighs. Din stands resolutely by the sink even when Luke slips into the shower, willing the strength back into his knees and only moving when he's sure he isn't going to fall over. 

"Coming?" Luke calls, peeking his head out of the shower and snickering at the glare Din levels his way. 

"You're an ass." Luke hums, cheeky grin on his face, and he holds a hand out, allowing Din to clutch onto it as he takes a step over the edge of the tub. Luke turns them immediately so Din can be under the warm water, regardless of the way he shivers, skin already wet. Din tips his head back, letting the water slick his hair back and paste it to his temples. 

Despite Luke's teasing and general cheekiness his movements are tender as he helps Din wash up, occasionally leaving light, chaste kisses on the slope of his shoulders just to have an excuse to be close. Din basks in the attention afforded to him, and he's all too happy to do the same, hands mapping over the scars lining Luke's body and working soap through his hair. Luke's hair is longer, finer than his, and while Din's hair stands up with no prompting Luke's falls around him in loose waves, curling at the nape of his neck. 

By the time that they finally make it out of the shower Din is half asleep on his feet, shuffling along behind Luke back to the bedroom. He can still hear Grogu snoring away on the other side of the house, so he doesn't feel bad when he collapses onto the bed, letting Luke manhandle him until the both of them fit nicely under the covers. 

"So," Luke begins as Din is just beginning to drift off again. "Is this an every time thing?"

"Go to sleep, Luke." 

"I'm just asking!" Luke says defensively, laughing when Din digs his fingers into Luke's ribs to make him squirm. "Fine fine, but you have to tell me in the morning."

                                                        -*-

Din is pleasantly sore when he wakes up the next morning, just a faint ache between his legs that he enjoys more than he should. The sun hasn’t risen yet, light barely straining to lighten the sky, but Din feels too awake to go back to bed. Instead he goes up on an elbow, glancing down at Luke’s sleeping form. He sleeps spread out, much like a star, wholly unused to sharing a bed with anyone and taking up as much space and blanket as he can. Din on the other hand, is used to sleeping in tight quarters, and it’s all too easy to tuck himself in the space that Luke does leave for him. Which seems to be growing with every night they spend tangled together. 

Luke’s face is young, devoid of the usual calculating look or serene expression he wears at all times if he can help it. He’s so wildly expressive when he wants to be, quick to frown or grin and make a joke, but Din feels… Emptiness sometimes. Like the feelings that Luke wears are more like a shield, rather than actually being his. Din doesn’t know much about Luke’s training as a Jedi, and is still learning about his past, but Luke had mentioned more than once that Jedi weren’t supposed to have attachments. That they made them weak, susceptible to the dark side that Luke always seemed so serious about. But here now, Din doesn’t feel weak. 

Din finds himself touching Luke, gentle and easy, tracing along the scars on his chest and dipping down to follow their jagged, racing edges with his lips. One scar drifts under his nipple, so close that Din can’t help the way he detours to flick his tongue over the bud, smiling when Luke shifts, chest rising with quicker breaths. Din doesn’t stay there long, not quite wanting Luke to wake up and say something that he thinks is funny so early in the morning. He just wants to touch him, to let his hands drift, fingers trailing the bumps of his ribs that become apparent when Luke breathes in. Din sits up further now, moving slowly so as not to disturb Luke too much, and he skims his hand over the plane of his chest, up toward his shoulders and down one arm, over his bicep and finally stopping to cup his forearm. 

Luke’s arms are impressive, corded with muscle but not enormous like Boba- There’s an inherent delicacy in Luke’s form that betrays the strength hidden there, and Din enjoys it immensely. He knows that Luke leans into the look, in letting people underestimate him the same way that Din’s armor and presence demand more. Din places his hand on Luke’s stomach, watching the way that Luke twitches when Din drags his fingers over the lean muscle. 

“You’re affectionate.” Din hums when Luke speaks, voice groggy and eyes still closed. Din doesn’t bother stopping even knowing that Luke is awake, but now that he is awake Din’s hand drifts lower. Luke makes a soft noise at the soft brush of Din’s knuckles against the insides of his thighs, Din nudging his legs a bit further apart. Luke shuffles his legs at Din’s insistence, and Din presses his thumb into the crease of Luke’s thigh and hip, huffing a laugh at the way that Luke’s hips shift. He does it again and sees Luke’s stomach clench, flexing as his breathing goes funny. “Din, you know what that does to me.”

“Mhmm.” Din slips in between Luke’s legs easily while he’s distracted, bringing his other hand up to apply equal pressure to the other side too. Luke’s back arches weakly off the bed at the odd, wobbly feeling that Din made him describe the first time he touched him this way, and Din uses his elbows to keep Luke’s knees from digging into his sides. “We have time before Grogu wakes up.”

“Insatiable.” Din laughs at the way Luke’s voice rasps from him, and Din drops a hand to boldly take Luke in hand, watching the way Luke’s lashes flutter as his hips roll upward. “You’re very far away, Din.”

“Right where I want to be.” Luke’s breath hitches when Din shuffles himself down, left hand smoothing over Luke’s thigh, circling under to tuck his leg up and out. Luke plants his heel in the bed, adjusting himself as Din hums and dips to kiss the soft skin of his inner thigh. Luke croons at the affection, the sound dissolving into a whine when Din nips lightly and then sucks, coaxing a mark to the forefront. Din settles himself down on his front, propped up on his elbows and breath ghosting over the soft curve of Luke’s cock. “You had a question last night.”

“Hmm?” Luke murmurs, hardly seeming to pay attention. Din leans down to lap at the base of Luke’s cock, lips curling in a smile against the soft flesh when Luke gasps. 

“Your question, Luke.”

“Ah, shit, umm- what we did last night, with the- ah- force-” Din trails his lips up, letting Luke feel the warmth of his mouth so close while Luke tries desperately to form a coherent thought. Luke seems on the verge of being able to say something when Din takes the head into his mouth, sucking lightly and a hand shooting out to grab at Luke’s thigh, forcing him back into the bed as Luke whines. “You- are impossible-”

Din watches as Luke goes up on his hands, one hand reaching down and fingers threading in Din’s hair. Din hums, bobbing his head in appreciation as Luke’s fingers tighten in his hair. Din looks up as he hollows his cheeks, taking Luke deeper and raising a brow. He lets his thoughts, normally so guarded, flow from him now, and Luke groans, whole body shuddering. Luke’s power rushes up his spine, pooling at the back of his neck and sinking into the base of his skull, vision going dark as Din closes his eyes, swallowing Luke down in earnest. 

I want it to be every time. I thought you were uncomfortable around my use of the force, but this whole time- this whole time you liked it. 

Luke’s voice is clearer than Din has ever heard it, and Din feels the first cold drag of Luke’s attention against his ass and thighs, raking over his skin. Din can’t do what Luke does, but he tries to show him, to share with him the way that Luke’s powers feel. He thinks about last night, when Luke had grabbed him and overwhelmed him so thoroughly so quickly, and Luke twitches in his mouth, hand tugging on his hair. Din rises with the insistent pull at his scalp, allowing Luke to guide him up and then back down, and Luke huffs out little noises above him, soft and needy in the still of the morning. Din gives him everything he can, thinking about the first time that Luke’s power had excited him, had left him aching and confused and lusting in a way that he was wholly unfamiliar with. 

The times in between, when Din was left taking cold shower after shower, trying so desperately to garner back some kind of control until the next echo of Luke’s power sent him reeling again. The warm buzzing that hid under his skin, reaching a crescendo whenever Luke touched him with those strong, talented hands of his. 

It never seemed to stop either- Din’s lust was an all consuming thing, a constant want that burrowed in his skin, lit him up from the inside. Din’s mind comes back to him slowly as the pressure at the base of his skull lessens, and he blinks back tears as Luke grinds up into his mouth. He isn’t sure how long he’s been like this, letting Luke see everything while using his mouth, but he can feel his hair sticking to his temples and his jaw has only just begun to ache. 

“I didn’t know-” The sound of Luke’s voice, real and rough sends a shock of arousal through Din, and he pulls back, swirling his tongue around the head while Luke tries to speak. It gives him a break, but most importantly it draws the softest moans from Luke, and if Din’s mouth weren’t so preoccupied he’d smile. Instead he sucks particularly hard, chuckling as Luke’s thighs bracket around his head, Din’s hand coming up to keep Luke from squeezing too hard. “Didn’t know it was that way for you.” 

Din pops off of Luke’s cock suddenly, surging up onto his knees and crowding into his space to kiss him. His lips are wet and he doesn’t doubt that he tastes like Luke, but Luke throws an arm around his neck and hugs him close, lapping into his mouth as Din wraps a hand around him, creating a tight fist that Luke bucks up into. “It isn’t just the force thing.” Din says, bumping their noses together as he pulls back. 

“No?” Din wants him to know, needs him to know, love burning in his chest in time with the pounding of his heart.

Din laughs, bright and stupid and happy, and his wrist twists, drawing a keen from Luke as his hips stutter. “You’re too cocky to pretend you aren’t attractive, Luke.”

“Rude-” 

“Stop talking.” Luke scoffs in offense, but Din stops touching him in favor of shoving him onto his back, Luke offering no resistance. Din trails kisses down Luke’s body, occasionally stopping to nip at a spot that makes Luke whimper softly before moving on. Din settles himself back down between Luke’s thighs, and he admires the healthy flush of Luke’s cock, the way it curves proudly up against his stomach. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the sight of Luke spread out like a banquet before him, chest rising and falling and lined with sweat, hair a mess. Luke throbs once Din gets his mouth on him again, and Din can tell he’s close. It seems cruel to keep him in so much suspense, so Din takes him down to the root, swallowing around him and lifting just a bit when Luke’s hips shove upward. 

He doesn’t mean to draw back, to make Luke whine, and he soothes hands over Luke’s hips, rubbing at the sensitive junction of his legs in apology. It only takes him a moment to adjust to the weight of Luke on his tongue again, and he allows Luke to fuck up into his mouth, to chase his own pleasure as his hand comes back to grab at his hair. He holds on like without the feeling of Din’s hair in his hands he’ll float away entirely, and Din finds the small tugs whenever Luke presses up just right too attractive to tell him to stop. 

Din feels that rush of power push into the base of his skull again, hard and quick, and Din’s hands clench, fingers digging in hard to the meat of Luke’s thighs at the first rush of Luke’s orgasm. He feels, tastes and experiences Luke’s release: his own body sings with it, thighs shaking in tandem with the way that Luke’s do as Din swallows down around him. Din draws back enough to lap at the sensitive spot just under the head of Luke’s cock, groaning at the small taste that he gets in reward as Luke basks in the aftershocks. Din pulls back when he’s able, panting raggedly and wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. His thighs are still shaking, Luke’s pleasure floating through him in lazy waves, and he slips up to lay along the length of Luke’s body, arm around his waist and head pillowed on his shoulder. 

He knows that Luke has regained most of his sense when a kiss is pressed into his hair. “That was new.” Din observes, feeling Luke’s laugh echo through his ribcage from where their bodies are pressed together.

“Like it?”

“It was okay.” A rush of affection makes his stomach flop pleasantly when Luke hums, obviously amused but too sleepy to laugh. Luke turns to face Din, resting on his side and skimming his hand up and down Din’s side. The attention is nice, the simple touch warming him, and when Din deigns to open his eyes the sun has finally begun to peak over the horizon, bathing the room in swathes of oranges and yellows. “Just enough time.”

“We have more.” Luke muses, hand sliding down and catching behind Din’s knee. He stops, letting the offer hang in the air, and Din shifts forward, lifting his thigh in answer. Luke maneuvers himself closer, hooking Din’s thigh up and over his hip and dipping his hand lower. It’s a bit of an odd angle to work at, but Luke adjusts easily, hoisting Din up the bed a bit and grinning at the way Din draws in a sharp breath at the manhandling. He chokes on his breath completely at the first brush of Luke’s fingers against him, teasing over the sensitive edges of him before finally, blissfully moving more centrally. The first pass of Luke’s fingers tugs him open, and Din can hear the wet sound that Luke’s fingers make on the second pass, smearing the slick that’s collected in the time that Din was otherwise occupied. “Never get tired of this.” Luke breathes, humming when Din presses his hands to Luke’s chest to anchor himself. 

“Sap.” Din murmurs, voice soft. Luke grins, bumping their foreheads together and watching, enraptured at the way Din’s eyebrows pinch at the first press of Luke’s fingers into him. It’s a bit of a stretch to take two at first, even with as desperately as Din wants this, but he hitches his thigh a bit higher, opening himself more as Luke rubs against his walls, crooking his fingers in a come hither motion that has Din’s fingers curling uselessly against his chest. Din’s brain goes fuzzy as Luke thrusts his fingers slowly, curled just enough that every time he pulls back he rubs just right, dragging over the little bump that makes Din’s thighs shake. He hadn’t even thought about himself when he’d woken up this morning- Luke had given him so much last night, had accepted and loved him more than he could ever ask for, but here, pressed chest to chest, breath mingling, Din has never felt more appreciated. 

“Can I show you something?” Luke’s voice is soft, hesitant, but Din nods immediately, scratching lightly at Luke’s chest and gasping when Luke presses his fingers up deep, stilling. Din whines, clenching around his fingers, and he’s so distracted by the feeling that he doesn’t register Luke’s power latching onto him again. Din feels a dizzying sense of vertigo, and then he’s sucked somewhere into a memory, an image that’s firmly burned into Din’s mind just as much as it is Luke’s. 

It’s the first time they were together, after Din had confessed, when neither of them were sure of each other or what to do. Din remembers the night as being hard and fast, something passionate, and it is, but the way Luke’s hands had held his hips as Din sat astride him, Din’s hands splayed low on Luke’s stomach to brace himself as their hips rocked together… That was love. Luke held him so gently, guided his hips when he lost his rhythm and never asked for more than Din was willing to give. Luke had paid such close attention to him then, always had, and his hands had scorched over Din's skin with each hesitant, shaking touch. Looking at it now Din doesn’t know how he ever thought that this could be fleeting, the all consuming magnetism that drew them together time and time again. 

Luke draws him back out of the memory slowly, easing him back to the present, and Din snakes one hand up to cup Luke’s cheek, drawing him in for a shuddering kiss. His hips rock forward against Luke, egging him on, and Luke gives him what he asks for. Luke's touch is gentle, not wanting to hurt him, and Luke curls his fingers again and presses up against his g-spot, rubbing even as Din’s thighs begin to tremble and jerk with each sensation. He’s up on a razor wire and he doesn’t know how long he can last before it snaps, breaths coming faster and faster until Luke presses just right, flicking his tongue against Din’s and sending Din spiraling Din keens into Luke’s mouth, thighs numb, and Luke grins, working him over until he’s sobbing against Luke’s mouth. 

“Luke please-” 

“You’re okay, Din, breathe.” Din can’t, he can’t even think past Luke’s fingers still buried deep, and Luke groans, rolling Din onto his back and slipping from his arms. Din feels so empty that he clenches weakly, chest rising and falling as he pants, trying to suck in a proper breath. Din doesn’t care if his mind is wide open or if Luke can see the desperate, pained way he’s hanging right on the edge, he wants so badly that Luke being away from him makes him whimper. Din opens his eyes, staring up at the ceiling and trying to get his eyes to focus so he can see where Luke has gone, but then Luke’s fingers are sliding back into him at a new angle and Luke’s clever, wonderful, hot mouth is on his cock, tongue flicking just right- so right- 

Din’s hands fly down to grab fistfuls of Luke’s hair as his back arches, and Luke’s mouth and fingers finally snap that wire inside of him. Din chokes on a cry of Luke’s name as he shakes apart underneath him, grinding down against Luke’s lips and gasping when Luke sucks very pointedly. Warmth rushes through him, making his muscles go loose and warm, and he slumps back into the bed, fingers trembling in Luke’s hair every time that Luke’s tongue slides against him in broad, slow licks. Luke is very, very patient, and he doesn't move from between Din’s thighs until Din lets go of his hair, content to use his mouth until Din is ready to be done. Din shifts his hips, wordlessly asking Luke to pull his fingers out, and Luke does so slowly.

“Okay?”

“We’re doing that again.” Din croaks out, Luke laughing and shuffling to sit between Din’s legs. Din traps him between his thighs, not letting him move, but Luke isn’t planning on going anywhere, blue eyes dark with lust as he slips his fingers into his mouth, sucking the mess from them as Din groans at the sight. 

“You only have to ask.” 

“Why is this the first time I got your mouth?”

“Wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with it.” Luke says, but there’s something different about him, a sort of confidence that wasn’t there before. “You showed me- a lot, when you were distracted earlier. What you liked, what you thought about when you were- frustrated.” 

Both Din and Luke know that isn’t the word either of them would use, but it makes affection bubble in Din’s chest all the same. He reaches out for Luke, pulling until Luke’s weight rests fully on top of him before he kisses him, muttering against his lips. “Make note for next time.”

“Next time?"

"You could use more practice with your mouth." Luke pauses, pulling back to look him over, and a tender yet smarmy grin colors his face, eyes bright.

"I think I can manage that."

#dinluke #din djarin #luke skywalker #trans din djarin #force sensitive din djarin #major sluttiness #nsft #it's basically all smut lets be real #Im

[embryos-first-heartbeats]

so... I tried salvia

Yup, I finally did it. I smoked something for the first time. After a lifetime of not being a smoker, I inhaled that shit. It wasn’t easy, I coughed, a lot. I still don’t like smoke. But what I do like is salvia. Damn. People aren’t fucking around when they say that salvia is strong... and weird as hell.

My first experience with salvia was actually chewing it, the taste sucked hardcore and I really didn’t find the effects to be strong enough (granted, I only used a small amount to test how my mind and body would react to the new substance), it went well enough but I wanted to move to the next level: smoking.

It was a few days to a week later that I was finally able to try smoking it, and I had to look up videos on how to even use a bong. I had this tiny cheap thing that I bought off of Amazon because I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for in a bong. I started by putting some plain leaf in the bowl and smoked it, it was truly awful from a physical perspective. Mentally, I definitely felt... different. I tried a few more bowls and closed my eyes and in my head I got some interesting faint 3D tunnels formed out of static. They were spinning. But I also got an image of some evil face grinning maniacally (tbh it looked kind of like the jerma sus meme but it wasn’t super funny because I’ve gotten an evil grinning figure before, off morning glory seeds)

I wanted to smoke more but there was another person in the house, she was going to leave for a few hours soon though so I waited until after she left to continue my experiment. I put on a long YouTube compilation of music from one of my favorite artists. I smoked a little bit more plain leaf but I quickly decided I wanted something more intense. I have a gram of both 10x and 20x, so I got the 10x out and put a pinch of it it into the bowl, lit it, and decided to put my mind into the hands of this new substance. I wasn’t expecting much... but then it hit me. Yeah, it hit me and I was pretty amazed by how quickly I went from mostly sober, to diving into deep hallucinogenic water. It was like DXM and nitrous all at the same time but way stronger than either one.

I kept pulling my hood over my eyes to block the light out, and I took my glasses off, which felt amazing and natural, like scratching an itch and that it was exactly what I needed to do at that moment. I pulled my hood over my entire face but I kept thinking I didn’t want to somehow make it hard to breathe. My entire vision morphed into this three-lobed formation of the little bit I could actually see, repeated on continuous lines in a clover shape. I felt a little overwhelmed, like I had done something that I wasn’t really supposed to do, since I told the other person I wouldn’t try 10x by myself. But at that point I could feel myself sink back, and I felt like I was on a boat in the ocean being rocked gently by waves. I moved my hands back and forth in front of me, mimicking the feeling.

At the end there were these faint 2D panels with these cartoon ape characters looking back at me, like I was supposed to follow them. It started to fade and I opened my eyes, sat up, and the first thing that came into my mind was some nonsense about “hairy gorilla soda bottles”. After it faded a bit more, I looked at the bong just thinking “holy shit!” I felt really good but it was way more than anything I’d experienced before that point. I knew immediately that I wanted to do more.

The second time around, when I started to enter I got a faint vision of a purple cartoon hippo looking over a book that was also a farm with a sunrise, I was a part of a class but I kept disturbing the class by moving around too much. The vision changed and became a lot more vivid, there were these purple and white teddy bears made of hollow rolling tubes, and I was one of the tubes. The tubes were rolling but also moving like on a conveyor belt or something. I was going to get pulled into the “inside” of the teddy bear and I was annoyed by this because I knew it was going to be too dark to see anything in there, and I wanted my “outside” time to be longer.

After I was sucked in there was this version of a house made of those rolling tubes, it was flat, and two of my family members were in front of it, they were also made of tubes and their arms, legs, and bodies were super thin and featureless, I don’t think they had distinct faces either, and they were both reaching into the middle of the front of the house with their “hands” touching. I just wanted to go inside the house. Then I was on this pinched oval type thing, I could see the whole thing and one part looked closer than the other, where there were repetitions of the room I was in, linked to this bicycle chain structure, with gaps between them, on a black background. This was all I could see, but I was also on/in it and it was my what I felt my face was. It kept looping over and over and there was this word/sound/concept that kept repeating and it was really frustrating for some reason because I had to keep repeating this loop. I felt stuck during this part and didn't know when it was gonna stop.

The final scene was this neighborhood of cartoony 2D houses made of thick, round, rubber looking tubes. They were soft and squishy looking. There were families in the houses and grey metal doors underneath each one. I called this place Book Land because it reminded me of a children's book, where everything is gentle and pure and bright. I talked to the dad of the first house and he told his wife about how I wasn’t able to get through because I had to pee too much, but my door was open a little bit. I asked him if he could see me and he said no, he had never seen me even though he knew about me before because the door is open sometimes. There was a close-up of a cartoon purple kid, who looked like from a child’s drawing, but made of the round tubes. She was smiling and looked happy. I was able to open the door enough to get my hand through, it was all purple and blobby and made of tubes like everything else. It stretched across all the houses and I felt like I was doing some kind of educational lesson about sharing “my kind” with the people of this world.

After I came out of it I had to piss really, really bad, so I rushed to the bathroom as quickly as I could, I’m not sure if I just drank too much water while trying to smoke or what, but it was way more intense than usual for me. In the bathroom I was still pretty in it because I kept thinking about Book Land like it was a real place, and I wasn’t sure if me using the bathroom was real or just a particularly normal/realistic part of the trip.

I went back to my smoking spot to go in one last time. I knew I was reaching my limit, though, so I didn’t want to go overboard. Very shortly after smoking it, I got up to pee, I don’t even think I had to at this point, I think I was just unconsciously repeating something I’d done several times before. I kept thinking about Book Land and I also felt like I was in a weird cycle and that everyday life was just a weird cycle and getting up to pee was a part of it. I could see repeating rainbow fractals on the carpet as I walked to the bathroom and I was super happy about it and thought it was totally normal. I remember when I was in the bathroom I kept trying to talk to myself, but it was pretty much only mumbling and partial words that came out.

When I was done I sat down but got up again right after to look at the carpet, because I could see this 3D simple three-lobed snowflake like pattern repeated on the carpet wherever I looked. I kept moving around to see it at different angles and it looked totally, convincingly 3D no matter where I looked. I loved this to no end and just kept looking at the patterns for several minutes. I thought that I should put my glasses on to see the fractals better, but when I did they simply disappeared. At one point an advertisement came on since the video with the music I was listening to had ended, and I became really angry and paused it, saying “NO!” really loudly. I thought to myself that “the children in Book Land cannot be exposed to corporate propaganda  like advertisements. The children in Book Land can only be exposed to pure information.”

After that, I admired the carpet patterns a bit more, then I wanted to go outside. As I went to go outside, I kept looking at the floor the whole time, searching for more patterns, and when the flooring switched from carpet to a flat, wood patterned floor the fractals disappeared. So I was a little annoyed at this and continued making my way outside. I saw one of the cats and thought she was cute, but she didn’t have any fractals on her so I wasn’t super interested in that moment. Then I saw a clover leaf and said “Yes!! There it is!! That’s it right there!!” and sat down on the step to admire this leaf, which really did resemble the three-lobed vision from the start of my adventure, and it looked like the patterns I saw on the carpet as well. I sat there looking at the leaf and looking around, thinking to myself as the salvia wore off more and more.

Over the next couple hours I sat down, thinking about my trip and how intense everything was. I felt really good and at that point I knew exactly why people said that salvia was weird as hell. I kept thinking about the visuals, the feelings, and about Book Land. I hastily wrote some notes down on my computer, which I referred to when writing this, as despite the typos and weird wording, it had the most raw translation of my experience that I could get. In all honesty, I felt pretty accomplished for trying something new and not shrimping out over smoking for the first time, or shying away from how daunting salvia can seem. I knew what I was getting into before I started and I wasn’t taken by surprise at any point.

I know I’m going to try it again at some point, but I’m definitely not going to rush my way into it and push myself too far too fast. I have a huge amount of respect for this drug and the last thing I want to do is screw myself over by getting cocky.

#salvia #divinorum #salvia divinorum #drugs #trip report

[etherrealoblivion]

Chapter Fifteen: Fuck It

Table of Contents

Fic summary: Owning a bookstore in downtown D.C. came with its fair share of downsides. You never thought that being the target of a serial killer would be one of them. Luckily, a nice FBI agent by the name of Spencer Reid is assigned to watch over you. What's the worst that could happen?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Words: 2,770

RATING: MATURE

MASTERLIST

~

The awkwardness toned down after a while. There wasn’t much more you could be embarrassed about now that you’d been sleeping in the same bed together for days. What was strange was the fact that it was Christmas Eve and neither of you really knew what to do.

“Should we celebrate?” he asked finally after a few episodes of the strange true crime show on VHS — it was called Felon’s Brains and Spencer hated it, but there wasn’t any cable this far out and there were fifteen seasons of it on tape.

“I’m not sure.” Christmas hasn't always been a happy holiday for you. That coupled with the fact that you were hiding from a killer, what was there to celebrate?

Looking over at Spencer sitting next to you on the couch, his face contorted as he thought hard. There’s something to celebrate.

“When was the last time you ate?” While he was skinny in the first place, his shirts seemed to be falling a little looser lately.

It was a good question judging by the way he had trouble remembering.

“I’m not sure. A few days ago.”

You would be surprised, but there hadn’t really been many opportunities for either of you to eat. You’d grabbed an apple just before you left the hotel but that was pretty much the only food you’d had in a while.

“We should have a feast,” you said excitedly, your stomach grumbling at the thought. Spencer also looked relieved, probably more at the idea of keeping busy.

“Okay! I’m not all that sure what���s in the pantry.”

The yield was minuscule, but you could make the best of it. Surprisingly, there was an old pasta maker with a stiff crank, but it would work well enough. There was flour, eggs, olive oil, all the ingredients to make pasta from scratch.

However, when presented with this idea, Spencer blistered.

“I’ve said this before, I’m, uh, not exactly a chef.”

You smiled gently at him, gathering the ingredients.

“Me either. But pasta from scratch is like the one meal I can make. And there’s some canned vegetables in the pantry. You can prepare those.”

He seemed daunted by the idea, but moved to the cabinet and took out several cans.

So you did your best making the pasta (perhaps adding a bit too much flour) and soon the meal was ready.

“Oh my god!”

“What?” you said nervously, watching him swallow the first bite of pasta.

“This is amazing!” he dug in, savoring it. “How did you learn to make this?”

Pleased, you took a bite yourself. It did taste really good. But so did Spencer’s vegetables.

“I learned from my old . . . roommate.”

You tried to play off the slip. Hopefully, he’d go along with it.

“Cool! Well, it’s delicious. Thank you.”

His eyes crinkled when he smiled, sending a spark through you and you grinned back at him.

“You know, this isn’t a bad Christmas Eve.”

He nodded, glancing from the meal to the window to you. Startled at the sudden eye-contact, you looked away, no doubt a blush spreading to your cheeks.

Spencer cleared his throat; he did that a lot.

“Ahem, did you know that Christmas is just the evolution of a popular holiday in the Roman Empire that celebrated the winter solstice as a symbol of the resurgence of the sun, the casting away of winter and—“

“While it does drive me crazy when you ramble, in a very good way, maybe we could talk about something a bit more personal?”

He wasn’t sure whether to be embarrassed or relieved.

“Sure. Like what?”

“Hmm. What was your favorite Christmas?”

A bright smile lit up his face.

“The Christmas after my tenth birthday. My dad dressed up like Santa and we went and saw reindeer in Baskin’s park. I got to ride one. My mom was so scared the whole time. She kept thinking I was going to fall off, even though my dad was right next to me the whole time. That was really the last family time we had. He left the next year.”

His smile turned to a frown.

To change the subject, you took the plates to the sink, then sat on the couch, patting the place next to you. Spencer stood and ambled over, plopping down next to you, attempting to smile. Your positions were similar to how they’d been in the bookstore, all those nights ago. Strange how close you’d grown after such little time.

“What about you? What was your favorite Christmas?” he asked.

You took one look at him, wearing a thick burgundy sweater that looked far too scratchy to be comfortable, woolen mismatched socks, and regular jeans, his head tipped back on the couch and staring at you so sweetly, awaiting your response.

“This one.”

You had whispered it so quietly you would have been sure he didn’t hear it . . . if not for the sharp intake of breath next to you.

Quickly moving past that, you said, “I’m not sure. I’ve never really had super special Christmases. I mean presents and stuff is great, but none really stand out. Well, stand out in a positive light.”

He chewed on that for a minute.

“Then what’s been your worst Christmas?”

You shot him a look, “I’m not sure you wanna hear about that.”

“I do! Here,” he scooched closer, picking up your legs and swinging them into his lap, surprising you with the closeness of the gesture, “I’ll go first. My worst Christmas was the year after my dad left. I didn’t get any presents because he wasn’t there and my mom was admitted.”

“Admitted?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

“She, um, she has Schizophrenia. She lives in a mental facility.”

It was such a personal confession, you weren’t sure what to say. He told you something extremely private! That’s good! Right? No. If anything it just blurred the lines of your relationship further. Was he telling you to indulge you, make you feel more comfortable with him knowing so many personal things about you, or did he actually want to share that part of himself with you? Either way, you needed to acknowledge it.

“I’m here, Spencer.”

He looked at you in surprise.

“Most people say they’re sorry when I tell them that.”

Shit. 

“Oh, I didn’t mean—“

“No, no,” his eyes were full of curiosity and wonderment. “I’m actually grateful. It’s weird when people apologize because there’s really no right response. I can say, ‘it’s okay’, which is a lie; ‘thank you’, even though I’m not really thankful; or I can ignore it which is just mean. An apology creates an unconscious obligation.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, digesting the words.

“I promise never to apologize to you,” you said, smiling.

He smiled back, chuckling softly. “I promise, too.”

“My worst Christmas was last year.” He adjusted his position so he could look at you better. “I had just started my Linguistics PhD so my schedule was constantly full. At the time I was living with my ex-boyfriend, Matthew. He, um, had problems with me being gone so frequently; he always wanted to know where I was and what I was doing. So when I surprised him by coming home early on Christmas Eve, I thought he’d be pleased. Turns out there was a reason he was so obsessed with my schedule. He didn’t want me coming home to someone else in our bed.

“I remember when I walked in and saw them together how sad I was. But even more so, I was relieved. Looking back on it, I was just looking for an excuse to get out of that relationship.” You looked off in thought. “Huh. I’d never really thought about that.”

His hands were slowly patting your legs, sliding up and down your clothed shin. It seemed like he didn’t even realize he was doing it. 

“I’m here for you.”

He had said it as a comfort, as a substitute for ‘I’m sorry’, but you couldn’t help taking it as though he was saying he was there for you and he always would be, unlike your ex. Spencer seemed to realize this, his hands freezing on your leg. 

But he kept stroking after a moment, and said, “I never liked the name Matthew. So pretentious.”

You laughed lightly, reaching out for his hand, clasping it in yours and running your thumb along the back. 

“Spencer. How is this going to end?”

When the FBI had first talked to you, Morgan had assured you that the stalker wasn’t trying to kill you. But then why were they being so protective of you? 

He waited a moment before answering, holding your hand tightly.

“The model of a stalker killer deciding to rehearse his fantasy multiple times with possible intent to have you complete the final scenario concludes itself with one of two possibilities. The more likely being the stalker will kill himself.”

“What’s the other possibility?”

Embers from the fire snapped and crackled in the heavy silence.

“He’ll kill the object of his desire.” 

Although you had kind of put together the fact that there was more to the danger you were in, it still came as a shock to have it confirmed.

“Have you had cases like this before?”

He paused, biting his lip.

“Yes.”

“And how do they end?”

“The ones we win, the victim goes through therapy, the stalker goes to prison, and eventually we move on. It never goes away, but it gets better.”

You nodded seriously.

“What about the ones you lose?”

As the logs in the fire snapped again, a lightbulb burned out, making a loud popping noise above your head and shrouding the room in darkness.

Spencer stood on the couch, adjusting the bulb.

“Sorry, I guess there’s not the best electricity out here.”

“Well, there’s a generator out front. It’s probably just the lightbulb.”

“No, these lightbulbs were changed recently. Are you sure you saw a generator?”

You nodded.

“Then it must be the circuitry.”

He unscrewed the bulb and sat back down, setting it on the end table. The only light in the room came from the fire. It cast a golden glow over his sharp features, drawing your attention to the cut of his jaw and the plumpness of his lips. The firelight in his eyes as he stared sparked something inside you; a sort of sudden urgency.

You sat up, moving closer to him on the couch. His hazel eyes glowed in the soft light of the room. 

Slowly, you brought your hand to his face, gently caressing his cheek. His lips parted and his eyes grew dark, glancing down at your lips.

The threat of death was just around the corner, closer than you’d thought. You loved Spencer and you needed him to know before . . .

“Y/N. . . .”

It was barely a whisper but you felt it in every part of your body.

Letting the feeling wash over you, you picked up his hand, placing it on your cheek and melting into the touch.

Spencer stroked your cheek, thumb brushing against your lips. You parted them, staring at him as you mouthed his thumb. 

He suddenly pulled back, balling his hands into fists and trying to catch his breath.

“Listen, there’s this thing called ‘transference’ it’s when—“

“Spencer, I like you.” Well, that was one way to shut him up. 

At his shocked expression, you quickly burst into a ramble. “Not because you’re protecting me, I've thought hard about this. I can protect myself, I'm not helpless. That being said, everything about you makes me want to be with you. The fact you love reading, knowing all sorts of random facts, you love memorizing lists, the way you raise your eyebrows when you’re shocked like you’re doing now. I want you, not the idea of you. I want you.” You said the last part with such conviction you thought you’d explode.

Meanwhile, Spencer was speechless.

Testing the waters, you leaned in as slowly as you could, giving him the opportunity to stop you if he wanted. 

When your mouths were millimeters apart, neither of you moving, just breathing heavily, you said, “You don’t want this?”

“Drink,” and the second he said it, your lips met harshly with tongue and teeth clacking together. It was desperate, urgent the way you pulled him on top of you, laying back on the couch. His hands were everywhere at once, running through your hair, snaking around your waist, brushing against your neck. 

Breaking the kiss to pull his sweater over his head, you marveled at his bare chest. It was different than you’d pictured. Not muscular per se, but not nearly as scrawny. It was perfect. He was perfect.

He hesitated at your gaze, so you pulled him back down, ravishing his mouth and scraping your nails down him back, leaving a trail of white marks.

But, ever the hero, he pulled back, shaking his head softly.

“Wait, wait . . .”

The absence of his mouth was unbearable, but you would respect his boundaries. Although you knew now that if anything, it was his job interfering with his feelings for you. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you. He just couldn’t have you.

The thought was too much, you looked away from him, still hovering above you. When, after a moment, he still hadn’t moved, you looked at him, surprised to see an extremely pained expression on his face.

You tilted your head, eyebrows furrowing. For him, that seemed to be the last straw for he sighed and leaned back down muttering, “Fuck it,” and kissing you harder than ever before.

It was the first time he’d cursed in front of you. Moaning against his mouth, you could feel his fingers brush against the skin of your sides. You gasped at the contact and he started to pull back, but you pulled him closer, nipping his lips and letting your legs fall open, closing any gap between you.

He grunted softly and inadvertently thrust against you in just the right spot, causing you to thread your fingers through his hair and pull. 

The yank made him gasp and his hips jerked unconsciously against yours.

“D-do that again,” he whispered between kisses. 

Delighted, you did, hard, your other hand desperately trying to unbuckle his belt. He occupied himself with kissing up and down your neck, occasionally biting and subsequently soothing with licks.

You finally got his belt undone, throwing it to the floor as he pulled your shirt over your head. He pulled back for a moment, admiring you. Your bra wasn’t all that special, just a plain tan one, but Spencer looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Tired of the space between you, you pulled him back, kissing him deeply and moving his hand to your breast. The moment he was given permission, his hand slipped underneath, kneading gently.

As you popped the button on his jeans and shoved them down his legs, he found the clasp of your bra and snapped it, probably breaking something in the process. Now your chest was bare, Spencer’s hands moving all over your body, soaking up every inch possible. You gently reached down and felt his hard length, both of you moaning at the contact. He thrust into your hand, desperate for more.

But you had to stop him, you pulled him back, hands moving to gently grasp his cheeks, holding his face inches from yours.

He seemed alarmed by the shift, stopping all movement and staring into your eyes.

In that moment, with him on top of you, looking at you with such care, such caution, like you were the only thing that mattered in the world and he’d do anything you asked in an instant, you realized you needed to tell him. If you kept it in any longer you’d burst.

He knew what you were going to say the moment before you said it.

“I love you.”

The two of you held eye contact for a moment, the only sound in the room your breath. Then, his expression softened and he opened his mouth to speak.

But before he could say anything, there was a loud THWACK and he fell forward onto you, unconscious. Behind him, standing above you, was a dark figure holding a blunt object.

Terror rushed through you, chilling the marrow in your bones. But before you could so much as scream, the figure lifted the object and brought it down on your head, hard.

Everything went dark.

~

notes: I am so sorry.

~

Taglist: @aperrywilliams @mjloveskids666 @dolanfivsosxox @criesinreid @fanficsrmylife @racerparker @sammypotato67 @lukeskisses @reidcrimes @you-had-me-at-hello-dear @l0ve-0f-my-life @thatsonezesty13​ @yourmisosoup @queenofthebees003 @pinkdiamond1016 @eu-solidao @perverted-guardian-angel @boiled-onionrings @rainsong01 @lesbian-emilyprentiss @andiebeaword @itsmoony @cielo1984 @baby-i-am-fireproof @mendesminimuffin @fukyouthink @addie5264 @gretaamyk @sercyan @expressiodeppresio @matthewreid

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #fanfic #fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #fandom #smut #slow burn #angst #fluff #criminal minds #i am so sorry

[panamastayed]

PSA

Hello everyone!

So I’m sure many of you saw this coming seeing as I’ve been talking about it frequently for the past few days but, I’ve officially decided that I’m going move & remake Karter’s blog however I want to explain why exactly this is happening seeing as I imagine for some of you this might be coming rather suddenly so allow me to elaborate:

Lack of Plotting: I’ve tried to work otherwise, but I’ve come to the QUICK realization that I am borderline incapable of keeping up with threads or even mustering replies for threads when I don’t have some frame of reference for where we’re going plot wise and what kind of relationship is in the works. Karter is a difficult character to write to begin with as he’s not the friendliest nor is he the most accommodating to random interactions, thus those first meeting threads or threads with no baseline for where to go end up having no merit as essentially I don’t know how to keep going. So going forward on my new blog I’ll very likely be strongly encouraging ( if not outright requiring ) some level of plotting just for the sake of keeping interactions going.

Feeling Overwhelmed: Going hand in hand with that lack of plotting I’ve also been feeling like I’m constantly buried under the replies I have to do, and that, while of my own making, is a feeling I can’t seem to escape from. I want to interact with everyone yes, but I don’t think I can manage that until I have a fresh start & a clean slate to work from. To mitigate this I’m definitely going to be using my queue more frequently, especially considering that the queue buys me time to clear out other replies before resetting that cycle.

General Lack of Muse: I have to face facts and state that my muse for Karter has been SIGNIFICANTLY lower recently. I couldn’t tell you why and I know for certain I don’t want to give him up, but I am going to undoubtedly be reducing my activity on Karter and rely more heavily on the queue for this remake. This blog feels over-cluttered & just generally like a mess and it’s killing my muse. There are other reasons for my muse being less prominent but the primary one is this feeling of suffocation from being on this blog.

Following / Being Followed By Too Many People: I don’t mean to sound ungrateful because I am MORE than thankful for all the wonderful people I have that I have gotten the chance to write with & become good friends with. I love that so many people get invested in Karter and his story. But the truth is I have a hard time keeping up with all the people I want to write with as it is, and that’s to say NOTHING of this feeling like I’m constantly forgetting & shirking these interactions because I have so many people to keep up with. I’m going to need to cut out people and this goes hand in hand with that UNFOLLOW spree. The bottom line is that I am going to be far more strict going forward with my rule regarding unfollowing. If you follow me and I follow you back, I intend on interacting with you and I give plenty of opportunities to do make that leap, but I can’t keep following people for months on end and never write with them. That’s just clutter for my dash and hence ends up contributing to this problem. That means going forward EVERYONE is going to have one week to reach out in some way shape or form to me–––and I want to be clear. If you aren’t super active, that is perfectly fine with me, all you need to do is give me a heads up that you’re interested and I’m willing to wait until you have some dedicated free time to chat even if it’s only a small window of time, but it just bridges the gap seeing as I don’t want to do the whole “Follow for Follow” deal.

Rules/Bio Being Ignored: This one I think is perhaps another HUGE contributor for my need to move blogs. I can TELL when people don’t read my rules or read my bio. YES. I understand that it’s a very long bio, I wrote the thing. But please understand it’s not there for my health. It is there to illuminate who Karter is as a character and detail what his life was like at different stages. It is supposed to explain WHY Karter is the way he is, and yes I get that it’s a daunting task. I don’t expect people to memorize it. Hell I don’t even expect people to read the whole thing in one sitting. But the bottom line is that the full length bio is the BEST way to understand Karter, and if you intend on writing in Main Verse ( which as I understand it, most people do ) then reading that bio is MANDATORY. On my new blog it WILL be for anyone who expects to write in main verse. And I want to be clear, I always encourage questions. Karter’s main verse canon was built almost entirely from scratch with inspiration from sources related to it, so I get that sometimes part of the bio can be kind of confusing, never be ashamed to ask questions. I would rather spend 20 minutes trying to explain something that you didn’t quite understand in the bio than to end up having to explain it ANYWAY when Karter reacts a certain way that confuses or upsets another writer.

I apologize that this explanation is so long winded and I hope you all understand that this blog move is perhaps more necessary than anything else because at this point I am having a difficult time even coming onto this blog as I feel absolutely overwhelmed beyond any shadow of a doubt. I need a clean slate with a clean start. 

For those of you who are still interested in writing with Karter & I after the move I’ll be making a post offering anyone the NEW URL of my blog once I finished getting it ready. 

Thank you,

Joey

#ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴀᴘᴛᴀɪɴ ꜱᴘᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ( OOC ) #PSA

[orange-plum]

So Orange, how'd you like start your comics? Like what motivates/motivated you? I have serveral ideas in my head for comics; drawin' at a consistant rate or like findin' the courage to put yourself out there; seems like really daunting... Anyway just askin' for advice; hope you have a good day. :)

I get asked this periodically.

When it came to Satan and Me, it was just something that kind of happened without my planning to. I saw the “Period Satan” post on my dashboard and doodled a mini response to it and decided it would be fun to do an episodic comic on it’s own blog from time to time. It blew up overnight and I was surprised, but stuck with it with no idea where it was going to go. After 15 or so updates, I wanted to add more of a plot to it, then added characters and a storyline so it wasn’t just small episodic installments going nowhere. Anyone who was familiar with my writing and storytelling before SaM could tell you I’m a big fan of angst and drama painted with comedic and romantic elements, so SaM was inevitably always going to have a story to it down the road, I suppose.

Beneath the Ark and Here it Comes were planned with more experience, with HiC’s wobbly first few updates before I got the hang of how I wanted to format and pace my comics - HiC being the first comic I did after SaM. Then Beneath the Ark was entirely designed after a job proposition when seeing how well SaM and HiC were doing on Tapas. SaM and HiC’s updates are more “on the fly”, whereas Beneath the Ark had to be submitted and approved as drafts for the entire season before I could begin working on updates. Personally, I find that working on the fly helps me develop a story and pacing better.

What motivates me to do comics?

I love telling stories. It’s my favorite thing to do in the world. I love telling stories and showing people and seeing them indulging in it and having a good time. It’s a very satisfying feeling to entertain a person. And while I have been writing (originals and fanfiction) for over 10 years, there’s sometimes elements that only a picture can say. So drawing allows you a certain freedom to convey an emotion or an exchange that you want without all the clutter of a novel.

 I think comics are easier for a person to make if they’re invested in telling the story. Sure, anyone can make a comic, but what a lot of people don’t really think about with storytelling is that there’s always gonna be at least one person who is emotionally invested in your story if you put it out there. And while you’re under no obligation to create content of anything for anybody but yourself on your own whim, I think a lot of people don’t think about the invested reader(s) if they drop the project with no conclusion. I’ve had that happen to me for a few stories I loved and was really bummed out about it. So, I personally think that should be a consideration before giving it to people to consume if you have no intention of finishing the story.

Obviously there are extenuating circumstances for everyone who discontinues, but it’s easier to stay motivated I find when you know someone wants to consume your work.

On the flipside, I think putting yourself out there is easiest when you yourself are your primary targeted audience when you start a comic. It’s gotta be something you love. Something you enjoy. A story you like, irregardless of viewers. Making a comic from scratch and putting it out solely for people to fall in love with it and get super invested in it is, imo, not a good idea. I’ve noticed the most successful stories start out primarily as a project that’s self-indulgent and makes you excited to see the story progress. So comic creating isn’t daunting or scary or unfulfilling when you start out creating for your own enjoyment. If others end up enjoying it down the road that’s awesome. But the beginning should be your own journey to you enjoying the story.

For example, if I created Here it Comes to solely be as successful as Satan and Me it would’ve died in the water. It is not comparable to the audience Satan and Me had, and to expect people to fall over themselves to read it just based on the sole face that I mad SaM would’ve been foolish of me. But I personally love HiC and it’s super satisfying. It still is a really self-indulgent series that I would’ve worked on regardless if it had 5 followers or 5000. I will never stop creating it because I enjoy it and want to see where it goes. It’s only in the past year that its follower base has responded and grown and become more active, which is awesome and makes me feel good, but for the first year it was a very quiet, small following. 

That’s another thing you have to understand about comics, because some people get discouraged really fast. It is no slight against a creator when an audience doesn’t boom over night. And by over night I mean even a year or two. It could be like a water trickle, slowly but surely growing and giving you feedback. If you make a comic and put it out to the public eye, please try and be understanding if it just feels like you’re yelling into a void. HiC was exactly like that. So you don’t want your self-esteem or you passion/motivation to take a hit if you don’t recognize that concept.

All in all TL;DR: Make a comic at first for your own enjoyment. Take pleasure in your story and art, but also understand stories take time to gain readers, and there will always be criticism from people about certain things but take it with a grain of salt. Not everyone likes everything. I find your enjoyment for your own creation the best motivator. What’s the point of writing a story if you’re not having fun? :~)

#art #advice #comics #asks

[thelioncourts]

dinner was made for eating, not for talking

His red tie was constricting around his neck, and it was almost enough to distract him from the sweat seeping through his button-down underneath the suit jacket that was every kind of too hot in July’s sweltering heat.  But both of those things were minor nuisances in comparison to Chad’s droning that Jared had been enduring for the entire fifty-minute drive into Austin.

Scratch that -- those were minor nuisances in comparison to Chad’s droning that Jared had been enduring for the last week.  

Richard had been home since last Saturday, and that apparently wasn’t enough time for Chad to process the concept of ‘Richard Murray’ and ‘married’ in the same sentence.  

“-- I mean, do you know how awkward tonight is going to be?  Having dinner with some twenty-five-year-old making gold digger eyes at my dad while he stares at her super-fake jugs?” Chad repeated one of his many fears for the three-hundredth time.  

“I thought we dropped the idea that she was twenty-five when your dad mentioned her having kids?” Jared reminded him, turning the car into a parking garage.  Chad had a weird thing about valets (“I don’t trust anyone wearing a vest.”  “Not all valets wear vests, Chad.”).  

[Read on AO3]

“Don’t even get me started on the kids,” Chad groaned.  “I don’t need snot-nosed babies running around my house, and I definitely don’t need my dad paying to raise some other dude’s kids.”

There was an echo in the concrete garage as the car doors slammed shut, but it was hard to pay attention to that noise when there were so many other noises inhabiting the world just outside.  Even though they lived less than an hour from the city, they didn’t make it into the heart of Austin all that often.  That was mostly because of Jared’s mom’s overprotectiveness, but they swore it would all change when they were both eighteen (“I can’t believe I’m turning eighteen a whole fucking year before you, Jared.  Don’t expect me to wait around for you to turn twenty-one before I go get wasted legally.”).  But right now, a trip to downtown Austin was a rarity, and spending it at The Driskill was even more of one.  

The Driskill looked like the kind of hotel that would open a movie about a rich kid who had known no other life than that of luxury.  It was arched doorways and windows with intricately carved decoration all around on the outside, and the inside was Romanesque with its tall white pillars and glass-covered ceilings.  The oldest hotel in Austin, The Driskill was not only one of the best-known buildings in all of Texas, it was also home to The Driskill Bar and Grill, one of Austin’s most sought out nighttime restaurants.  Getting in on a Saturday night required three things: 1) a simple, yet efficient, plan 2) several weeks notice 3) money.  Of course, when you were Richard Murray, you only needed number three.  

“This place is crazy,” Jared said with a sort of awe as they fell into the line.

“Nothing but the best for my dad’s wife of a whole two weeks,” Chad commented back with an eyeroll, leg bouncing where they stood.

“Nervous?”

“What?” Chad asked incredulously.  “No.  What do I have to be nervous about?”  They moved up several places in line.  

“Um, I don’t know; there’s the fact that you’re getting ready to meet your dad’s new wife for the first time.”

“I’ve met plenty of his girlfriends over the years, this’ll be a breeze,” Chad said.  

“Yeah, exactly, Chad.  You’ve met plenty of girlfriends, but he’s never gone off and married one of them.”  They were next in line.  “This is serious.”

“I give it six months, tops,” was Chad’s flippant reply and then they were at the front of the line.  

“Good evening, gentlemen,” the host greeted politely, but his eyes were blatant in their search for something of substance.  By the look on his face, he wasn’t impressed by Chad’s spiked hair and loose tie or the sweat beading on Jared’s forehead.  “How can I help you?”

“We’re here with Richard Murray,” Chad said with a comfortability of someone who had grown up saying this exact phrase.  

“Of course,” the host said, expression still unchanged.  “Michael, would you please escort these two to table thirty-three, Mr. Murray’s table?”

The walk to the table exposed an upper-echelon of people and Saturday-night dwellers that they didn’t experience in a town like Georgetown.  There were a few people that looked to be around Jared and Chad’s age, but most of the restaurant attendees were older and held themselves with a confidence of belonging.  Jared couldn’t stop tugging at his tie, at the waist of his pants, at his sleeves during their entire walk across the red colored carpet.  

Richard Murray was sitting alone at a large rounded table with an elegantly draped gold tablecloth draped across it.  He was fiddling, moving his silverware ever so slightly to the left, turning the watch on his wrist, twisting the ring on his finger.  

“She slip your wallet and make a run for it already?” Chad asked, no decency to wait until Michael had returned to the front of the restaurant.  Jared elbowed him.    

“She and her daughter went to hang their jackets.  She said she was also going to give her son a quick call because he had said he may be running a little late.”  Chad took the seat to the left of his father, and Jared took the seat to the left of Chad, leaving three empty chairs sitting there in a daunting way.  “Can you please have your best behavior on tonight?”

Usually, it was impossible to get Chad and his dad to have a serious conversation about anything.  But at this moment, there was a kind of desperation in Richard’s question, the kind only given by parents in a make-or-break situation.

“Yeah,” Chad answered after too long of a pause, and Richard’s shoulders dropped a fraction of an inch.  “I’ll try.  But if one of her kids calls you dad or calls me big bro, I’m out of here.”

“I don’t think --”  Richard’s response was cut short by an approaching figure, and Chad and Jared turned to watch.  

She wasn’t overly tall or short, standing average at about 5’7”, maybe 5’9” in the heels she had on.  Her dress was modest -- but obviously expensive; a shimmering beige with a high neckline and three-quarter-length sleeves.  Jared and Chad didn’t know a whole lot about makeup, but she didn’t appear to have much on, just a touch of pink to her cheeks and lips.  Her blonde hair was perfectly styled, falling just at her shoulders in loose waves.  

She was beautiful, and that was as expected.  She was not, however, twenty-five.  

There were the finest of wrinkles by the corners of her eyes, prominent as she smiled at Richard with a fondness beyond their time together, and an aged-elegance in the way she held her body and the way she walked, one not found in fumbling twenty-somethings still learning everything about the world.  There was also the fact that the girl walking by her side, her daughter as Richard had earlier stated, couldn’t be much younger than Chad and Jared.  

“What the fuck….?” Chad trailed, not-so-lightly hitting Jared’s arm.  Rubbing absentmindedly at the place Chad hit, Jared couldn’t stop the laugh out of his throat or the wide grin on his face.  

“This changes everything,” he said, and he laughed a little harder at Chad’s slack-jawed expression.  

“Donna!” Richard started, pushing his chair back from the table to stand.  

“We didn’t get to properly say hello earlier,” Donna responded with that fond smile still in place.  They reached for each other like they had reached for each other for the entirety of their lives.  Their kiss was chaste and sweet, and beyond Chad’s unstoppable blanch at such a public display of affection, it settled a quiet tension in the room.  

“Chad,” Richard said, his hand sliding to the dip of Donna’s waist, pulling her close, “this is Donna.  Donna, this is my son, Chad.”  He waited for Chad to stand and Chad did so, if albeit slowly, still taking in the almost 180° of the situation from its expectations.  

“It’s nice to meet you, Donna,” Chad said.  His voice was quieter than Jared had maybe ever heard it.  

“And this is Chad’s best friend, Jared….Jared, what are you doing here?” Richard asked, but he was smiling and shaking his head as though he has just processed Jared’s presence, nerves quieted some.

“I’m here to make Chad look good, sir,” Jared said, standing up to shake Donna’s hand.  

“Chad and Jared have known each other since they were on tricycles.  You’ll be seeing a lot of him,” Richard explained.

“It’s so nice to meet you both,” Donna started.  “This,” she motioned to the blonde girl at her side, “is my daughter, Mackenzie.  My son is running a bit late, I’m afraid, but he’ll be joining us shortly.”

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Mackenzie said shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.  

They all took their seats, Richard stopping to pull out both Donna and Mackenzie’s chairs for them, and the waiter, David, greeted them and brought out waters for all.  It was Donna who made a noise first, a happy sigh as she folded her napkin over her lap, hands smoothing out its wrinkles and her eyes never leaving Richard.  

“This seems unreal,” she finally said.  Her eyes looked up at the room, the blue of them glittering as they flitted around the sparkling lights above.  

“It really does,” Richard agreed, and his tone matched her own when he spoke.  

“Mr. Murray, I was wondering if you could tell the story.”  It was Mackenzie’s quiet voice that was speaking out and her fingers were still shyly wrapped around her long bangs.  

“Please, call me Richard, Mackenzie.  I don’t want us to start off with formalities.  But what story are you talking about?”

“The story of how you met my mom,” she said, smile more real.  “She’s told me already and it’s the cutest story I’ve ever heard, but I want to hear your version of it too.”

“Mackenzie.”  Donna’s cheeks were flushed and it emphasized a loveliness about her.  “Richard doesn’t want --”

“I would love to tell her that story,” Richard disagreed.  He grabbed Donna’s hand and held it in his own.  “It was the third day of the cruise and this was the first big event that wasn’t just a general welcome.  It was a cocktail hour, and the place was swarming with attorneys everywhere.  Basically the egocentrism was through the roof.”  Donna laughed and Richard looked at her, his eyes telling more than anything else.  “And I was talking to an attorney from Georgia, a Mr. Pierre, when I heard that exact laugh across the room.  After that it all happened so fast.”

Jared heard Chad’s scoff.  “No kidding.”

“Oh, stop that Richard,” Donna started.  Her face was still red.  “That’s not how it happened at all.”

“How did it happen then?”

“I was helping set up for the M.R. Exhibition in the main ballroom and you and Kurt wandered in because you thought it was spa,” Donna said and a fit of laughter was already bubbling out.

“That’s right!” said Richard before continuing the story.  “We thought it was the spa, you told us that the spa was further down, and I asked if you would come be my masseuse.  The cocktail hour was later that night.”  He kissed her hand that was still held in his own.  “But it was your laugh that got me the most.”  

“My dad said you were calling your son earlier,” Chad interjected, and the words drew all attention to him and away from the heaviness of uncomfortable intimacy.  

“Yes, I wanted to give my youngest son a call so I could check up on him, see when he thought he’d get here,” Donna said.  Chad shakily sat his water down.

“Youngest son?” he asked for clarification, eyes darting to Jared who was on the verge of falling into an inappropriately loud fit of laughter at Chad’s continued freakout.   

“I have two sons,” Donna said.  “Josh, my oldest, has long left the nest.  But my other son, Jensen, is just a few years older than you.  He’s joining us, but he got caught in traffic on his way here from Dallas.  Quite a drive for just a dinner, but,” she paused for a moment, smile small and true, “he knows how important this is to me.”

“I do.  I also couldn’t pass up an opportunity to see my beautiful mother and sister, could I?” a voice said from behind Donna and everyone turned or looked up at the figure who had approached quietly during the conversation.  

He was tall.  Not as tall as Jared, but he was tall and slim, with a trim waist and broad shoulders where a perfectly tailored navy jacket pulled and accentuated the lightness of his almost too-green eyes.  But even the green of his eyes couldn’t distract from the gold reflecting from his hair or the warmth of his smile or the smattering of freckles perfectly placed across the bridge of his nose.  

“Jensen!” Mackenzie squealed as she jumped to pull him by his shoulders into a bone-crushing hug.  

“Oh, darling, you made it,” Donna said.  Her voice was filled with a motherly kind of relief, but her face was nothing short of blissful.  “Everyone is here.”

“Well, everyone except Josh, but we only keep him around for his kids anyway,” Jensen said with a grin, leaning down to give Donna a peck on the cheek after he untangled Mackenzie from himself.  

“That’s not true,” Donna admonished with no heat.

“It’s kind of true,” Mackenzie said, and Jensen pulled her into another quick hug.  

“Jensen,” Richard started, standing up and brushing nothing off his pants.  “It’s good to finally meet you.”

“You as well, sir.  My mom has told me a little about you.  All good, I promise,” Jensen replied back, and the two shook hands.  

“This is my son, Chad,” Richard said, kicking at Chad underneath the table to stand, “and his friend, Jared.”

“Nice to meet you guys.  My mom told me you were starting at UTA this fall.”  They all fell into their seats, Jensen sitting comfortably between Mackenzie and Jared.  Jared swallowed the same time Chad shot his father a look.  

“Yeah,” he trailed, and Jared could see the wheels turning in Chad’s head, all trying to catch up with the situation.  Jared could also see that the freckles on Jensen’s face extended over his cheekbones, too.  “Business management and engineering,” he finished, jutting a thumb at Jared in regard to the “engineering” half of his answer.  

The conversations fell into different paths at that moment.  Richard and Donna were unable to take their eyes off of one another, and their conversation was quiet and intimate amongst the noise of the restaurant and its patrons.  Mackenzie fell on her phone as Jensen and Chad talked college, and Jared found himself too quiet in the middle, too scared to look at Jensen for more than a few seconds at a time.  

It wasn’t often that Jared was at a loss for words.  Truth be told, he was a talkative guy and even moreso of one when he was nervous.  He couldn’t count the number of times he had rambled about everything from the importance of the Fourier Transform to confessing his most embarrassing moment -- of which consisted of a rose bush, a pair of tattered Converse hightops, a pitcher of fresh lemonade, and a gardening hoe -- to complete strangers.  But at this very moment, there was no word vomit trying to climb its way out of his throat.  Instead it was sitting like acid on an empty stomach.  

“Wait, you already have your degree?”

Chad’s exclamation was loud enough to jolt Jared back to the present.  Chad was wide-eyed and slack-jawed once again and Jensen’s laugh made that acid-on-an-empty-stomach feeling so intense Jared thought actual vomit as opposed to word vomit might climb out of his throat instead.

“Just graduated in May,” Jensen answered.  

“God,” Chad muttered, and Jared could see it in his eyes that his breaking point had been met.  His head fell into his hands, and Jensen’s laugh was so much more this time, his head falling back to expose the long line of his throat, and his eyes were closed, showcasing a trait he shared with Donna: crinkles by the outer corners.  

“I take it this news hasn’t been the easiest?” Jensen asked after a moment.  His voice was quiet enough that Richard and Donna wouldn’t take notice of the conversation, but Jared mused that he doubted they would anyway with the way they were still staring at one another.  

“You could say that.”

“If it’s any consolation, Mackenzie and I are in the same boat.  It’s been, uh, an unexpected turn of events.”  Jensen was leaning in just a little, continuing to keep the conversation secluded in their corner.  

“At least you’re done with school and moving on with your life,” Chad started.

“Here we go.”  Jared hadn’t meant to mutter.

“Oh, he speaks!” Jensen said with a grin, and he was looking right at Jared.  

“Yeah, dude, now you decide to join in?  You couldn’t have said anything when I was literally dying ten minutes ago?”

“Sorry,” Jared managed to say before internally cringing.  Had his voice always sounded like that?  “I’ve never been taught how to deal with a meeting your best friend’s new stepmom and her kids situation.”  

He could totally do this.  He could totally make conversation.  And a normal conversation at that.

“Four years ago I would’ve said ten words and it would have been an accomplishment in my book.  But now that you’re talking, you’ve got to explain “Here we go” because you sounded about eighty-years-old there.  What’s the story?”

“Chad’s not shut up --”

“Yes, I have!”

“About his delicate ecosystem being disrupted by some twenty-five-year-old and her snot-nosed kids right as he’s getting ready to enter the prime of his life,” Jared explained.  Chad groaned loudly.  

“Wait….is the prime of your life supposed to be college?”

“According to Chad, yeah.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not sitting right here!”

“Chad,” Richard admonished, his attention diverted from Donna for the first time since they had all arrived, “inside voice.”  

It was then that their waiter returned and conversations were halted as orders were made.  Jared made a lot of observations as everyone ordered.  One was that there was a single meal on this menu that cost as much as Jared’s family spent on food for the whole family when they went out.  The second thing was that Donna’s allure was very apparent when she was talking and Jared found himself wondering if this really could be more than a spontaneous and over-the-top fling.  The third thing was that Chad did, in fact, order that expensive single meal all for himself.  The fourth and fifth things were about Jensen and the way he held his wine glass and the fact that he and Jared ordered the same exact meal.

There was an obvious relief of tension in the air that was hard to miss as well.  Both Richard and Donna seemed more at ease with themselves and with each other now that this hadn’t yet blown up in their faces.  Chad, despite his groaning, seemed relatively unfazed now that the situation was in front of him.  Jared was sure he would get an earful on their drive back, but at least a scene hadn’t been made.  

Attentions were turned to Mackenzie while they waited for food.  She shyly told Richard how she would miss her best friend, but how she didn’t really like anybody else at her school so a new one was exciting.  She also attempted to explain Snapchat when she mentioned how they -- she and Madison -- would always have their Streak.  

“You got a boyfriend back home?” Richard asked and it was enough to turn Mackenzie’s ears pink.

“No!” she exclaimed, and it was the most emotion they had seen from her since Jensen had arrived.  “None of the boys at my old school are cute anyway.”

“I’m sure you’ll meet a nice fellow at your new school, darling,” Donna said.  Then she gestured to Chad and Jared.  “Just look how cute those two are!  And they just graduated from the school you’re going to be attending.”  

“Mom, don’t traumatize them yet.  You have to ease into that kind of public embarrassment,” Jensen told Donna, but his smile was wide and the perfect distraction to keep the rest of the conversation at bay just as their food arrived.  

Chad had eaten the last of the bread that had been sat at the table when they first got there so it was no surprise that the quiet of the table continued for several minutes as everyone began to eat.  

“When do classes start up for you, Jensen?  Are they the same time as UTA?” Richard asked.

“Dad, Jensen is one of those lucky bastards who is already done with school,” Chad said around a mouthful of lobster tail.  

“You make it sound like he he has some sort of “in” on the whole college thing.”  Jared knew he was using his fork to point.  

“I’m done with my B.S., but I’m nowhere near done with school,” Jensen started.  

“So you’re just willingly going back?  Are you crazy?”

“It’s not that bad, Chad,” Richard huffed.

“Especially if you find that one thing you really love,” Donna offered helpfully.

“And I actually think St. Augustine’s classes don’t start until September.  So about two weeks after UTA starts their classes.”

“What is it you’re going for again?”

“My DPT,” Jensen said.  “Full-time, I can get it all done in about two and a half years, maybe three.”

“What’s a DPT?” Jared asked.  Chad hit him in the leg.  

“A doctor of physical therapy, isn’t it exciting?” Donna answered instead, her eyes on Jensen and her voice full of pride.  “And do you want to know the best part?  UTA and St. Augustine are only about ten miles apart.  You all could carpool!”

Chad’s laugh was nervous.  “It might be inconvenient for Jensen here to try and carpool from his apartment.”  

Donna’s confused face made Chad even more nervous.  

“Chad, Jensen’s going to be living with us too.”  

#j2 #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #j2 fic #my writing #stepbrothers verse #chad michael murray

[stilesxeveryone]

Netflix and Chill - Steter Week

~Ta da, Steter Week day 1 with Creature Stiles! It’s been so long since I last posted any writing, jesus! Don’t forget I’m always open to requests for fics, moodboards or art!

You can find it on AO3 here and my account is here!~

Stiles ran. Trees flew past him as he leaped over roots, stones, branches, anything in his way. His paws hit the ground almost silently, light in his small form.

He needed to get away. Just for a day, an afternoon, an hour, any amount of time that he could.

The preserve was still considered too dangerous to enter alone, but he honestly didn’t care. It didn’t matter to him that any number of creatures could be lurking inside. He had been dealing with the fuckers since Scott got bit in sophomore year and hadn’t had a chance to run since then. Well, unless it was for his life.

He just needed to run.

So, he ran, and he ran, and he ran, until he was flying over the edge of a small cliff and tumbling down the other side.

He stopped at the bottom with a jolt, a cry and a resounding snap. He tried to stand up and quickly discovered where the snap originated from. His hind leg.

He let out a whine and his eyes flared orange. He tried to stand again, putting as little pressure on his back leg as possible. Once standing, he realised he wouldn’t actually be able to get back up the cliff.

For once in his life he wished he was a werewolf. Whatever was responsible for werecreatures—evolution, magic or some kind of god—had decided that foxes could skip out on the super healing because speed and extra-extra-heightened senses were more important. He certainly healed faster than an average human, but a broken bone would take at least a few days, rather than seconds.  

He swivelled his head, looking left to right, then went over ‘eeny meeny’ in his head. He turned right and started limping his way forwards, hoping the cliff would flatten out enough for him to walk it soon.

~

Peter was on patrol of the woods alone. Some would say he was mad to go alone, others knew he had no one to go with. Derek was in a bad mood and Stiles wasn’t answering his phone. No one else could tolerate him for long enough to finish the patrol.

Deep into the preserve, his nose and eyebrows scrunched up as he caught the scent of blood and pain. He crept forward silently, following the scent, and stopped just before he could slip down the small cliff. Peering over the edge, his eyes were drawn to the red fox staring up at him. He sniffed at the air, quickly confirming that the pained smell was definitely coming from the fox. Its injury was obvious by the leg being held carefully off the ground and, although Peter was certainly not an expert, the odd angle it bent in.

He searched around for an easier way down to the fox’s level, but the cliff seemed to continue for as far as he could see.

“I’m going to come down to you, little one, don’t be frightened,” he called. Carefully, he slid down the cliff, thankful that it wasn’t a straight drop as him jumping down would surely scare the creature off.

Once at the bottom, he crouched down to the fox’s height. He held out a hand for the fox to sniff, the most unsure of what was proper etiquette he had ever been in his life.

The fox stared at him blankly for a moment, before leaning in to nuzzle at his hand.

“You’re very friendly,” he murmured, moving his hand to scratch its head affectionately. He was hoping that foxes were similar enough to cats and dogs. The fox leaned into the scratching, the scent of comfort seeping passed the pain.

Hesitantly, he drained the pain away and paused in his scratching as the fox watched the black veins flow up his skin.

“Alright, little one, while I don’t usually trust Deaton, I think animals are one thing I can handle going to him for help with,” Peter said and carefully picked up the fox.

He made sure to pay attention to any shift in scent, in case he accidentally hurt the creature. Its fear kicked up a little, but not an alarming amount, and it stayed calm in his arms.

He made his way back up the small cliff, one hand holding the fox steady and the other keeping himself steady on the ground. Once at the top, it was a straightforward and uneventful walk.

~

“Peter, this is certainly a surprise,” Deaton said as soon as he looked up from where he had been reading.

“I think its leg is broken.” Peter was quick to ignore anything unimportant Deaton was saying.

“Yes, follow me.” Deaton seemed unaffected, as always, as he led Peter to a backroom.

Once the fox was on the table Deaton began examining it.

“Where did you find him?”

The fox was male, useful information.

“He was in the preserve. Looked like he had taken a tumble down a small cliff,” he explained.

Deaton nodded and was silent for awhile as he looked over the fox. He muttered something under his breath and, although he could barely hear it, Peter was sure it was in another language. The fox’s eyes flared a bright orange in response to Deaton’s words.

“Just as I suspected,” Deaton said, most likely talking to himself.

“Do you know what he is?” Peter asked, staring at the fox curiously.

“I’m afraid I don’t, most spells for finding out such a thing are far too elaborate. It just means I can’t call any proper services to look after him—I’ll have to take care of him myself.”

The fox let out a screech in response, something akin to an antagonistic witch being burnt alive.

“Or maybe not.” Deaton frowned, options of what he could do floating about in his head.

“I can take care of him, if that’s a possibility,” Peter said without meaning to at all.

Deaton glanced between the two before speaking, “Well, if he lets you then I guess that would be okay.”

Peter held his hand out to the fox again and, gently, the fox bit at his fingertips.

“I think that’s a yes.”

~

Stiles soon had his leg fixed up to the best of Deaton’s abilities, and both him and Peter were happy to be leaving the vet/cryptic asshole and his mountain ash-filled building. Unfortunately, they would have to go back in a few days' time to check on his leg.

Stiles was trying to get comfy in Peter’s passenger seat, a difficult task with his leg, and he spent the whole ride shuffling into different positions. Before he knew it, Peter had parked and was carrying him out of the car.

As one of Peter’s neighbours left her house to do some gardening and gave them a strange look, they were both very thankful that Peter had moved out of his apartment and into a proper house. A lot less people to judge.

Once inside, Peter tossed his keys and wallet into the bowl, his phone onto the couch and a look over his shoulder at Stiles as he said, “I need to have a shower. You can explore but try not to break anything or yourself.” He disappeared with an affectionate grin that Stiles didn’t know Peter was capable of.

Stiles quickly scrambled over to Peter’s phone, using his nose to turn it on and type. He guessed the password on the second try, then searched the contacts for his dad. The contact name was a surprisingly boring ‘John Stilinski’, one of the only names that were so formal (though he was too stressed to get a proper look at the others).

Painstakingly slowly, he typed out the message: ‘this is stiles broken leg but okay shifted safe with peter he doesnt know cover for me’. He deleted any evidence of the message from the phone after it was sent.

It wasn’t exactly the first time that Stiles had gotten into a situation where he couldn’t shift back, but it always worried his dad to no end.

He left the phone and looked around the room. It was a living room filled with warm colours and a surprising number of cushions. The TV looked large and expensive, but Stiles expected nothing less from Peter.

The kitchen was connected to the living room, no walls between, and he could see the pristine counter tops and appliances. Again, very expensive looking and very expected.

He limped around the rooms, looking through the books on Peter’s shelf, before heading down the hallway.

None of the doors were open.

Rude.

He huffed and went back to the couch. Staring up at it from the ground wasn’t usually so daunting, but with a broken leg he had no idea how he could get up there. He huffed again, pouted as much as a fox could, and lied down on the floor in front of the couch.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been lying there, but he was dozing off to sleep by the time Peter finished in the shower and dressed.

“Can’t reach the couch, little one?” Peter asked, crouching down.

Stiles raised his head and nodded in confirmation. Peter picked him up and sat down on the couch, laying the fox down on top of him. As Stiles shifted about to get comfortable yet again, Peter turned the TV on and switched to Netflix. The fox let out a bark as he went passed 'The Good Place' and he looked down at the now comfortable creature.

"You wanna watch this?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Stiles barked and nodded again.

"I hope you have good taste in shows," Peter muttered as he clicked to start playing.

~

'The Good Place' was a brilliant show.

~

"This is Stiles, I'm either passed out or running for my life-"

Peter clicked out of the call before Stiles' voice could finish whatever it was he had pre-recorded. He let out a sigh and ran a hand over the fox's head, something he had been doing all day.

"What's that boy doing? He's as bad as Scott today," he muttered. He flicked through his contacts and settled on John Stilinski's number, debating for less than a second whether it was worth the hassle. He clicked call.

"Peter? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, as far as I'm aware, just that I've been trying to contact your son all day and he hasn't responded," Peter explained. He felt the fox underneath his hand tense, but he barely took notice, continuing to run his hand through the fur.

"Oh, he didn't tell you?" the Sheriff asked, his voice rising in his surprise.

"Tell me what?" He tried to keep any strong emotions out of his voice.

"Stiles is visiting his grandmother for a few days. It's very possible that he left his phone behind, I guess. It was all a bit of a rush, we didn't really know he was going until a few days ago."

He felt the fox nuzzle closer onto his stomach.

"Right, well, thank you for telling me. Have a good day, Sheriff."

"You too."

The call ended, and the tension finally left Peter's shoulders as he melted into the couch. He slid to the side, lying down on the couch and pulling the fox up onto his chest. The animal let out a strange squeak, surprised at the sudden movement, but went with it easily.

"That boy is going to be the death of me, I swear," Peter grumbled, "always getting himself into trouble."

Stiles looked up at him, eyes wide, and he let out a soft noise. Neither of them were quite sure what the noise was supposed to mean, so Peter continued talking,

"I mean, it's not always his fault. Honestly, a lot of the time it's the rest of the pack's fault for not picking up when he calls. Because, yeah, Stiles runs off a lot after he works something out, but he usually tries to call Scott or Derek or someone to back him up, but if no one picks up then he's left to do it himself." He huffed and rubbed at his eyes with his free hand, the one not still petting the fox. "That was really loaded for a fox who may or may not understand me."

Stiles had no idea how to react to everything that Peter had dumped on him, so he ran with his instincts. He sat up a little, leaned forward and nuzzled at Peter's cheek. The man smiled, leaning into the touch without question. Stiles dropped down a little, pressing flat against Peter with his nose tucked under the man's jaw, and began purring.

"Comfortable?" Peter teased, a fond smile on his face. Stiles didn't bother responding as he started to fall asleep. Peter closed his eyes and rested his head back down on a pillow before joining the fox in purring.

Despite the fact that Peter's bedroom was only a room away, they slept together on the couch.

~

Peter woke up to the fox standing on his chest and pawing at him. He blinked up at the creature blearily before mumbling, "What do you want?" The pawing wasn't urgent enough for him to be too concerned.

The fox moved downwards, poked his stomach with his nose, then leapt off him to stand in the kitchen.

"Hungry, huh?"

The fox nodded and barked softly. Peter stood up slowly, stretching, and joined the fox in his kitchen.

"Do you have a name? Because so far, I've just been referring to you as 'the fox' in my head," Peter said as he opened the fridge.

Stiles shook his head, you know, like a liar.

"What do you eat?"

He had to think for a moment before he walked up to the fridge and peered inside. After a few moments of looking and smelling, he placed his paws on the bottom of the fridge and pushed up to nose at the small variety of fruit inside.

"Fruit salad for breakfast?" Peter grabbed the fruit, as well as two bowls and a cutting board, despite his question. Once he had washed and cut the fruit, he placed one bowl on the floor for the fox and kept the other, standing as he ate with a fork.

"Is there any way for you to convey what you would prefer I call you?"

Stiles thought for a moment before shaking his head.

"Fox it is, then."

Peter looked like he was about to speak again but 'Toxic' by Britney Spears started blasting from his phone.

"Of course, he would," Peter muttered before moving to answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Petey, it's Erica! I need you to cover my shift for patrol of the preserve today," Erica chirped down the line.

"And what's so important that has you ditching your duties?" He waved the fork around as he spoke.

"Boyd, obviously."

Erica could hear the eyeroll.

"And what do I get out of this? I do have important things I could be doing." Such as watching more of 'The Good Place' and cuddling up with a fox.

"I have pictures of Derek in a bunny costume—one that Stiles had managed to get him into during a previous Halloween costume search—that I'm sure will be useful for both entertainment and blackmail."

Peter paused at that. It certainly sounded like a very good deal, but he had to ask, "You're wasting your blackmail on a single shift of patrol?"

"No, I'm wasting two pictures of Derek on getting out of patrol for reservations at an expensive restaurant and amazing sex with my boyfriend. I have several photos from that same day where I managed to convince Stiles into a slutty red riding hood outfit. Those, I'm saving for when I need something important from you."

"That's the little devil I know and love. Okay, I'll cover your shift, if not for the photos then to reward you for your brilliance."

"Wonderful, thanks Peter! I'll send you the photos once your shift is over. Have a great time!" With that, Erica hung up.

Peter put his phone down and picked his food back, smirk planted firmly on his face. Even if he would never be able to see those photos of Stiles, the idea of it would fuel a few fun nights with himself.

He heard a snuffle come from near his feet. He glanced down to find the fox had finished his food and was now waiting patiently, his tail sweeping across the floor quickly.

He raised an eyebrow. "You wanna patrol with me, little one?"

The fox nodded and barked, which seemed to be his favourite way of saying yes. Peter nodded in reply and picked his bowl up from the floor, placing both bowls in the sink for later.

"Alright, just let me get ready and we'll go."

~

Patrolling with the fox was enjoyable, more so than when he was by himself or with Derek. Every so often the creature would bark and run off, only to come back with a strange smelling flower.

"Do you know what all of these flowers are?" Peter asked, eight different flowers in hand.

The fox barked and nodded.

"Can you try to communicate what type of supernatural creature you are?" he asked a moment later.

The fox didn't reply.

"How long do you think it'll take for your leg to heal up?"

The fox paused at that. His head tilted from left to right as he thought, though Peter wasn't sure if he was thinking about the question or just how to communicate his answer. Finally, he drew a wonky '4' in the dirt.

They started walking again and, after several minutes of wondering whether he should ask the question, Peter spoke up, "Will I see you again once you do heal?"

No response.

~

The rest of their second day together was spent hunting rabbits, making dinner, and finishing the second season of 'The Good Place'. They both slept on Peter's bed that night.

~

Their third day together was pretty much the same, minus patrol as no one had decided to bribe Peter again. They had breakfast together, more fruit as well as a couple omelettes for Peter. Then they were on the couch, Stiles barking as Peter went passed 'Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency'.

It was peaceful. Peter lying on the couch with the fox in his favourite place: on top of Peter's chest.

Their eyes met. Only for a brief moment. Just while they were waiting for the episode to change over to the next one.

But it was long enough that Peter could notice what he hadn't cared to look at.

Bright, amber eyes.

The same eyes as,

"Stiles," he breathed out.

The fox froze.

"Fucking hell, really?" He suddenly sat up, Stiles yelping and falling into his lap as a result. "Stiles," he stated confidently, moving the fox's face with cupped hands to stare into his eyes.

Stiles' eyes were wide, concern and just a hint of fear drifting off of him.

Peter frowned. "Why don't you smell like a shifter?"

Stiles shrugged, or at least he moved in a way that resembled a shrug.

"Why did your dad say you were at your grandmothers?"

With a guilty smell rolling off of him, Stiles nosed at the phone resting on the coffee table.

"Right, well, I guess we can talk more about this when you've shifted back. For now, shall we get back to Dirk Gently?"

Somehow, the fox looked like he couldn't be happier to do so.

~

Hesitantly on Stiles' part, they slept on Peter's bed together again.

~

"It seems like his leg has healed completely by now. Considering I don't know what type of creature he is, the best course of action would probably be to leave him at the edge of the preserve."

"Sounds good."

~

Peter, of course, didn't take Stiles to the preserve, but instead to his house. Thankfully, the Sheriff was at work.

Stiles nudged Peter into the living room before dashing upstairs. A few minutes later a very human looking Stiles walked back down the stairs, dressed in sweatpants and a soft looking shirt.

"So," Stiles started, sitting down stiffly, "I guess you can ask your questions."

"Why were you in the preserve?" Peter started out simple.

"I just kinda needed to get away for a bit, you know? I mean, before the whole shitstorm of supernatural things happened I used to run in the woods regularly, so." Stiles shrugged.

Peter nodded in understanding, he felt similar urges all the time. "Is your dad the only one who knows you're a fox shifter?"

"Yeah, I'd thought about telling Scott when I was younger but… but mum was always very adamant about keeping it a secret. I guess nowadays it's just easier to keep up the lie than tell him about it."

Peter turned to face him better as he said, "I've never actually heard of a fox shifter before. How exactly does it differ to werewolves, other than the obvious?"

"Um, well, you might've noticed that we take longer to heal," he let out a weak laugh. "We have better senses, if you can believe, and we're generally faster too. We don't have a beta shift, just a full shift. We, uh, don't really have packs, either. Like alphas, betas and omegas aren't really a thing."

"Huh," Peter muttered, sifting through the information and comparing it with what he already knew. He paused for a moment, debating whether he should ask the next question before settling confidently on a yes.

"Can we keep watching shows and cuddling together?"

Before he could blink, Stiles was tackling him back onto the couch. His chin rested on top of the man's chest as he spoke, "There's this one show, 'Santa Clarita Diet', and it's about a family dealing with their mum turning into a zombie so, you know, you should relate."

#steter #steter week #steter week 2018 #teen wolf #my fic #fic #stiles stilinski #peter hale #sheriff stilinski #john stilinski #erica reyes #creature stiles #fox stiles #steterweek

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Missed Connections ~ Steve Rogers x Reader College!AU (Part 3/7)

A/N: Hi my lovelies! Okay, first off thank you so much for all of the love especially on the last chapter of Missed Connections. I haven’t gotten a chance to respond to you yet, but I have read all the comments and I’m soo soo grateful. Also, I’m pretty sure I got everyone who asked to be tagged but if I missed you I’m super sorry. Just shoot me an ask or a message or comment that you want to be tagged and I’ll add you. I am still working on Primary Colors. The chapter is being a bit stubborn and this story just started writing itself so I figured i”d share. I really love this part so I hope you enjoy it as well. 

Summary: Second semester is a bit disappointing to start off with. But maybe things will start looking up. (This is a crap summary. I apologize.) 

Characters/Pairings; Eventual Steve x Reader, Bruce, Betty, Thor, Sam, Scott, Clint, Tony, Pepper, Nat, Wanda :D 

Rating: T (language? maybe)

Warnings: A little bit of self doubt on the reader’s part 

Word Count: 2303 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 

“So we’ve officially covered everything that’s fair game on the exam,” Bruce said triumphantly.

You and Betty cheered.

“I vote, we take a thirty minute break. Let our brains revive themselves. And then do another round of review before we call it a night,” Betty suggested.

“I think that’s a fabulous idea,” you agreed.

“Sounds good to me.”

Bruce shut his textbook and pulled off his glasses, rubbing at his eyes.

“I’m going to grab some more food. Do you guys want anything?” Betty offered.

“I’m good.”

“No thanks.”

“Alright. Back in a few.”

Once she was out of earshot, you slid over next to Bruce.

“You guys seem to be hitting it off.”

“What are you talking about? We’ve just been studying?”

“The lingering glances. Her laughing at your lame science jokes.”

He held his hand to his heart as though he were wounded. “I thought you loved my lame science jokes.”

You laughed and nudged his shoulder.

“Love, sure. Actually find funny?” you grimaced and he rolled his eyes. “But seriously you should ask her to hang out after the exam..”

“And you should take your own advice.”

“I would if I ever saw him this semester. There’s been literally zero sign of him. I’ve seen his friends plenty of times, but… maybe he went abroad last minute.”

Bruce shook his head.

“No, he didn’t. He’s in my orgo 2 lecture.”

Surprisingly that didn’t buoy your spirits all that much. You were nervous he was avoiding you.

“Come on,” you urged. “At least one of us should get our love connection this semester.”

Before you could go too far down that rabbit hole Betty returned with a plate of chicken fingers and you could no longer ignore your hunger.

“Okay, I take it back. I want food. I’ll be back.”

You climbed out of the booth and grabbed your ID and phone before hurrying into line.

You wanted to give Betty and Bruce as much alone time as possible so you started looking for someone you could sit with for the time being. That was when you spotted Thor and Sam in a booth just inside the doors.

“Hey fellas, mind if I sit with you for a bit?”

“Y/n!” Thor boomed. In your few encounters you had figured out he was typically happy to see everyone. “Of course.”

He slid over so you could sit. You smiled at Sam and their other friend.

“Hi, I’m y/n.” You smiled.

“Scott. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

You arched an eyebrow at the word “finally” and Sam elbowed him in the ribs.

“I said finally. I meant it’s just nice to meet you. You seem like a really cool person. From your appearance.”

“Real smooth,” Sam snarked, rolling his eyes.

“So how’s the semester treating you guys?” You asked as you tried to hide your smile because obviously the guys talked about you.

Scott and Sam shrugged, but Thor groaned.

“It’s already kicking my ass. What about you?”

“Drowning. I had a chem exam Monday and I have a bio exam tomorrow. But hey, that’s what I signed up for.”

You leaned around the back of the booth so you could watch your friends. Betty was giggling at something Bruce had said and he was attempting to look cool.

“Trying to avoid someone?” Sam asked as he tried to see who you were looking at.

“No. My friend Bruce has a crush on this girl in our bio class who just so happens to be my lab partner. So I invited her to study with us and now we’re taking a break so I’m trying to stay scarce for as long as possible.”

“And here I thought you were just wanted to spend some time with us,” Thor teased.

“I mean that’s just a bonus,” you informed him as you smiled sweetly.

“I was hoping you’d say that. I’m having a party at my apartment tomorrow night. Do you want to come?”

The prospect was a bit daunting and you hesitated.

“You can bring your friends of course,” he said quickly. “The more the merrier.”

“Okay. Maybe. I’ll talk to my friends.”

He grinned broadly.

“Alright. Here, why don’t you give me your number and I’ll text you the details.”

You opened up a new text message and handed over your phone to Thor so he could text himself while you chatted with Scott and Sam. Conversation was easy, and you quickly lost track of time. You would have stayed talking to them until Late Night closed, but Bruce texted you rapid fire to get your attention.

“I’ve got to go. I’ll see you guys later.”

“See ya.”

“Good luck on your exam.”

“Come out tomorrow night and celebrate,” Sam suggested with a wink.  

“I’ll try and swing by,” you promised. “Good night.”

You quickly rejoined your friends and returned to studying. Bruce and Betty called it around midnight but you continued studying until Late Night closed at two.

As you eyed the mountain of stuff you had to get back to your room, you silently cursed yourself from not bringing your backpack down earlier. You had made so many small runs up to your room for studying materials that you couldn’t really carry it all.

“Need a hand?”

Your eyes widened in surprise when you looked up and found Steve standing there with a hesitant expression. You were going to refuse but then your laptop slipped off the top of the stack and he snatched it before it could smash on the ground.

“That’d be great. Thanks,” you conceded, handing over your textbook.

Tucking the multitude of colored pens into the front pocket of your hoodie, you shoved the loose papers into the front of your notebook and hugged the stack of them to your chest.

“All set?”

You nodded and fell in step beside him.

“Bio exam tomorrow?”

“Yes, unfortunately.”

“Do you have Fury?” he asked as you walked towards the elevators.

“Yeah. He’s super intimidating. I think it’s the eye patch.”

“It’s definitely the eye patch,” he agreed with a snort. “And the leather duster. Are Phil and Maria still TAing?”

You nodded as you stepped inside the elevator. “I have Phil for discussion. He’s the best.”

“Absolutely,” Steve agreed leaning against the opposite wall. “You should try to go to his office hours all the time if you can. He has the coolest gadgets.”

“I already do. I’m convinced he’s really a spy,” you confided with a giggle.

“I completely agree. One time he actually kicked open the door and tactical rolled into office hours.”

“No he didn’t,” you gasped.

“Cross my heart,” he grinned.  

“Oh my god. That is too funny.”

The elevator doors slid open on your floor and you sighed. You wished you had more time. He walked you all the way to your door, waiting patiently while you fished out your keys. You silently pushed open your door and dumped your notebooks on your desk before turning back to Steve and taking your textbook and laptop back from him.

“Thanks for your help,” you smiled and bit your lip.

He grinned and scratched behind his ear.

“Any time. Good luck on your exam.”

“Thanks.”

You both hesitated, before he mumbled, “Good night.”

“Good night.”

You slipped into your room and locked the door leaning up against it for a moment, before swearing under your breath.

“Shit. I still didn’t introduce myself.”  

“So what did you guys think?” you asked as the three of you walked out of the exam.

“I feel really good. I didn’t leave any blank so that’s a plus,” Betty reported as she tucked her pen into the front pocket of her backpack.

You looked to Bruce for his answer.

“About the same. There wasn’t anything off the wall.”

“Agreed. I’m just glad that and chem are over and I can actually enjoy the weekend.”

Betty nodded excitedly.

“Any fun plans?”

“I actually got invited to a party tonight. Do you guys wanna come?”

Bruce shuffled his feet slightly.

“We’re actually going to First Friday at the Science Museum.”

“They’re having a robot dance off before they open the floor for a massive party,” Betty elaborated.

You couldn’t help but grin at them. You did manage to refrain from squealing.

“It sounds like a blast. I hope you guys have fun.”

“I think we will,” Betty smiled before glancing at her watch. “Oh crap. I’m going to be late for work. I’ll see you guys later.”

“I’ll pick you up at 6:30,” Bruce told her.

“Looking forward to it.”

You waved until she was out the doors and then you gave in, squealing and flailing at Bruce.

“Yay! I’m so excited for you.”

“I’m so nervous. What if I screw it up?”

“You’re not going to screw it up. It’s going to be great. I’m so proud.”

He rolled his eyes and tugged on the straps of his backpack. “Come on, we have to meet the others for lunch.”  

You practically skipped towards the dining hall tugging Bruce behind. He was outright laughing at your enthusiasm by the time you sat down with the others.  

“I really wasn’t expecting this amount of giddiness just because I’m going to the Science Museum.”

“With the girl you’ve been crushing on,” you pointed out with a smirk.  

“That’s neither here nor there,” he spoke noncommittally. “Besides. I asked my crush out. That means it’s your turn. You have to talk to him.”

“Well she already has. Late last night,” Pepper smirked as she sipped her coffee.

“What does that mean?” Tony asked, looking up from his notebook where he was scribbling down his latest idea.

You thought you had been quiet enough to avoid waking Pepper, but her knowing look told you that you were wrong.

“Well, y/n, was walked back to our room by a certain someone we all technically don’t know.”

“And you didn’t text us immediately?”

“I’ve been busy. I needed sleep. I had an exam,” you drew out the last word pointedly.  

“And now you’re done so you can spill,” Wanda concluded with a grin.  

Knowing they weren’t going to let it go and honestly still being giddy about it, you rapidly recounted the journey from the dining hall to your room. It wasn’t terribly exciting in retrospect but you still beamed at the memory. After the gushing wrapped up Clint shook his head at you.

“I can’t believe you didn’t give him your number.”

“Technically she didn’t even give him her name,” Nat smirked at you and you stuck your tongue out in reply.

“He didn’t give me his either!” you argued.

“That doesn’t make anything better.”

“At least we had a full conversation. That’s progress.”

“True. But I think it’s time to kick it up a notch. And Thor’s party is the perfect opportunity.”

“Sit still or I’m going to poke your eye out,” Nat warned as you fidgeted for the thousandth time as she put the finishing touches on your make up.

Despite your rapidly mounting nerves, the afternoon had been fun. All four of you were going out that night, so you spent the time getting ready together. Wanda had left for her anniversary dinner with Viz an hour earlier. And Tony had come to pick up Pepper for Rhodey’s award ceremony shortly thereafter leaving you with Nat.

“Are you sure you’re not going overboard? This feels like a lot of makeup. I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t question my makeup skills because I love you.” She smirked as she took a step back to admire her work. “Perfect.”

She held up the mirror so you could look at your reflection and you were pleasantly surprised. What had felt like a lot of makeup was really just touches here and there to enhance your features.

“You’re a knockout. Now it’s time for the finishing touch.”

She walked over to your closet and pulled out the black knee high boots you had bought on a whim during fall semester.

“I’m not wearing the boots, Nat.”

“Yes, you are. They make the outfit. Besides, you sass walk when you were them.”

“What does that even mean?” you snorted.

“It means you sway your hips, and make your ponytail swing. It’s hot. People notice when you do it.”

“Really?” you asked and your voice was way more hopeful than you wanted it to be.

“You’re not nearly as invisible as you think you are, sweetheart,” she said softly stroking your cheek. “Now, put on the damn boots.”

You chuckled and took the boots and zipped them up over your skinny jeans. You glanced at your reflection in the full length mirror on the back of your door.

Nat looked over your shoulder.

“You look like you want to puke.”

She wasn’t wrong; your stomach was queasy.

“I’m so nervous,” you admitted moving to sit on your bed.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about. It’s just a party.”

“It’s my first college party,” you reminded her. “And I’m going by myself.”

“Only for a little while. Clint and I will be there as soon as the meeting is over.”

“Are you sure I don’t need to be there?” you asked for the sixth.

“I’m positive. E-board only. We’re just finalizing numbers. The real work will start next week. Come on. Clint and I will get you on the shuttle.”

“I can do this,” you mumbled as you pulled on your peacoat and double checked your purse.

“Yes, you can.”

True to her word Nat and Clint, waited for the shuttle with you, making sure you got on. They also made you promise to text them when you got there and you resisted the urge to call them mom and dad.

A/N: So there you go. I’m super excited for what’s coming up. I have the ending planned out but there’s lots more fun and shenanigans to come. I hope you enjoyed this. Thanks so much for reading. Feedback is lovely! Mwah! 

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x reader #College!Au #Missed Connections #partidos

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

A fun day of pastries and cute souvenirs

There's something that feels super special about dedicating an entire day to shop and binge on pastries. It's been something we planned for a while - as in set aside money so we can go all out without feeling guilty. Not that we spent an excessive amount - everything we spent I feel were at reasonable prices - but it never hurts to be on the safe side. Let's just say that it was all definitely worth it!

Daisy Jane and I are on a vacation with Charlie, Hamilton, and Acacia in Taimani Island. Along with trying various Asian pastries, we've been exploring the smaller islands and enjoying the clear blue waters. There is still so much to see and I don’t think we’ve even scratched the surface!

The island as a whole is fascinating to look at because it's one of those places that looks like it's straight out of a fantasy video game. On the northeast is the Aralia Forest, which literally looks like a pastel forest. The cliffs have giant seashell-like things that gives it a mermaid vibe - and they make good picnic spots, especially the ones where you can get a nice view of the sea. It truly feels like another world out here.

We explored a good part of the forest before it started raining yesterday so we're gonna come back after visiting the beach. I’ve heard that there’s a ton of interesting plants so I’m looking forward to seeing them. And if we get a chance to explore near the shoreline, we can collect seaweed to make nori. I heard that the seaweed here is really good so we really want to try it.

Today was spent in the city, particularly Taimani City's commercial street, where most of the shops are. Most of them are bakeries, which are very popular here second to sushi and ramen places. I'm pretty sure most of our budget went to pastries, which I don't mind at all! After all, if we’re gonna explore one of the best places for yummy pastries, might as well go all out!

A lot of them sell Asian style pastries like green onion buns and hot dog buns. There's just something about Asian breads that are so good. Like the hot dogs for example, they're one of my favorite bakery goods - I prefer them to the usual hot dogs. I think it's the bread that makes or breaks a hot dog bun - it's soft and chewy and slightly sweet, like most Asian style buns I think.

Speaking of hot dog buns, I came across a recipe video a while ago on how to make them at home. The process doesn't seem too daunting (I think) as part of it has to do with waiting for the dough to rise, so maybe one day I'll get the courage to try it. I've already had success with one bread recipe that involves proofing dough so hopefully I'll be successful with this one too.

If they do turn out successful (and not too much of a hassle to make) that still won’t stop me from getting them at a bakery. Even if you can make something at home, sometimes you can’t replicate something from a professional no matter how closely the recipe is.

Other favorites include taro buns, green onion buns, and bao. All of them are pretty much what you'd expect to find in a bakery or an Asian store. And of course, I tried a bunch of new pastries. So far everything we've had was good - Taimani's pastries are living up to their name!

It's been a while since I last hung out with Acacia - not since I last visited Saltwater Creek I think. Charlie's like a big sister to Acacia and by extension, Acacia's kinda like a cousin to me. We barely talk about Saltwater Creek these days - mostly because there's nothing left to say about it. We've said our goodbyes so now it's time to move on. Sometimes that's just how it is.

Speaking of moving on, Acacia's more than ready to close a chapter in her life for good as well as make some much needed changes. A couple months ago she got an email from her old college that it was going to close later this year due to financial problems. So the school board arranged a big gathering for alumni and students so they can reminisce and say goodbye.

Acacia had always said her college experience was a mixed bag. Part of it had to do with the timing - her father walking out and Saltwater Creek's decline - which she believes played a role in her sorta becoming a meddler. Basically she was the friend who got involved in everyone's business and was expected to run everything and solve everyone’s problems. On top of that she got into some relationships that she wasn't ready for as well as tried to fill in the shoes of her late mentor. In other words, while fearing losing herself amidst all these changes, she tried to become someone else.

Charlie and Hamilton have always been there to kinda keep her anchored. Acacia said that she sometimes felt two different people when she's with them compared to her college friends. I remember briefly meeting two of Acacia's former girlfriends and while they were nice, it seemed like a mismatch. I've got to admit, I kinda found it a bit weird that all three of them still lived together for a couple years during the course of their relationships considering how things ended between them. Then again they remained friends so I guess that takes away the awkwardness of it. Still, I wonder if the circumstances were different, would they have even been friends?

As expected, all that friend drama from being a meddler and support system took a toll on Acacia. Though she never let on, she admitted that she found alcohol to be a somewhat tolerable coping method thanks to the campus's drinking culture - which apparently is what the college’s notorious for. I'll admit, it was kinda a surprise to me that she’s been struggling with a drinking problem, though with the added context, I can sadly see where she's coming from.

Attending the gathering with her old college friends was what prompted her to finally seek help as well as come to terms with other things. Seeing her old college friends she hasn't spoken to in years was nice but also kinda sad since she'll probably never see them again. Now that I think about it, I think Acacia seems like she's been freed, like there's no longer any obstacles holding her back from what she really wants to do.

Charlie and I always thought that she was kinda stifling herself when she began working for that professor. Though to be fair, she was forced into it so it wasn't by choice. From how Acacia described him, I can't tell what she really thinks of him - whether she does actually consider him a friend or if she felt obligated to pick up where he left off when he died. I think I heard from either Charlie or Hamilton that Krista did some digging around and while he wasn't shady, he was the kind of person who expects others to prioritize him over themselves.

So now Acacia's focusing on finding herself and we're here to support her. She's in the process of finding a therapist, the last one she spoke to seems promising so she has high hopes. Eventually she plans to go back to school since the career path she had chosen no longer serves her, especially since she wants to keep working at Harper and Denton. One of the colleges she's looking into happens to be my alma mater so that'll be cool if she decides to study there.

Charlie's been up to the usual, traveling and writing reports. The only difference is that Acacia's her occasional travel buddy, which she's happy about as it makes the job less lonely. Charlie tends to get stuck in work mode sometimes so having Acacia around helps her switch off after a busy day. Whenever Charlie's like that she says it makes it hard for her to enjoy the places she's visiting, not to mention that taking her work home also makes her more stressed. Time management, she says, has always been one of her biggest flaws.

Hamilton is almost done with college, which is hard to believe. She does web design and make apps and software for the visibly impaired. Hamilton plans to widen her scope and eventually make all sorts of programs for all different kinds of disabilities. In fact, she's mentoring a deaf blind kid at the school who's interested in computer science so they're working on various projects together.

As for her plans after college, Hamilton thinks she'll continue going freelance as she prefers being her own boss. Also, that gives her time to continue being a mentor at Harper and Denton. She had considered following her parents's footsteps in becoming a teacher but it just didn't seem to suit her. Zachary joked that there's already enough teachers in the family - along with her parents, her aunt (Caroline - Charlie and Krista's sister), and her grandma (my mom's sister) are also teachers.

Along with trying out various baked goods, we've been shopping as well. There's a lot of little shops, most which sell handmade stuff. Of course, I looked for the stationery shops, restocking on pens and buying some handmade stationery. I always like supporting artists and small local businesses - plus it gives me a chance to make new friends if they're active on social media.

Other souvenirs I got was a snow globe of Aralia Forest, a cute hand stitched panda plushie, a set of ceramic soup bowls with pretty painted florals, and a pair of jade hair pins. I will definitely be using the bowls a lot as I've been meaning to replace some old dishes for a while. Not only they're pretty, but they're also microwave and dishwasher safe, which is obviously important. As for the pins, I've never worn them before so I'm looking forward to trying them out as the design is lovely.

Although we spent the whole day exploring the city, it still feels so big! There's so many sights to take in, a lot of good food to try - a whole day is definitely needed if you want to spend some time in the city. Just dedicating an entire day to try the pastries is a must in Taimani City and I would totally be up for another trip like that.

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #Diary of a Junebug

[porkchop-ao3]

Do you think you could write another doofus rick imagine where him and the reader get assigned a new morty and like its just what they do to make him comfortable and maybe thst morty isnt used to ricks acting that way so hes like suspicious or something? (Sorry if this request sounds weird) 🖤

This one’s kinda short cause it’s been a looong week haha. I hope you like it though, it’s pretty cutesy :)

-

I’d been tidying the house up all morning, there were homemade cookies cooling on the side, and I was just about ready for them to get home; them being Rick and Morty. Rick’s new Morty. He was being assigned a new one that day, and I’d been finding the whole thing rather nerve wracking, considering Rick had been Morty-less for the entirety of our relationship. Of course I had met Morty’s before on my various trips to the Citadel, so I knew what to expect, but I just didn’t know what he’d make of me.

They appeared through a portal, stepping out into the kitchen where I was finishing off cleaning the pots I’d used to bake the cookies. I turned to greet them, my nerves quickly subsiding when I noticed that Morty looked a hell of a lot more unsure than I felt. He stuck close to Rick’s side, glancing around the room, clearly nervous.

“Don’t worry, Morty. We’re gonna ha-have lots of great adventures together, you’ll see. I-I-I know assignment day is daunting b-but you’ll settle in real fast. Trust me!” Rick was assuring the boy as they arrived, and he quickly looked up at me with an excited smile. “Oh, hey! Morty, th-this is the lady I was telling you about. Meet (y/n), sh-she’s super nice and she lives with us, Morty.” He approached me, giving me a soft kiss on the cheek.

“Hi, Morty. It’s nice to meet you, I hope you can feel at home here… I know this all must be pretty scary.” I smiled at him, and he gave me a shy grin in return.

“H-hey, (y/n). I mean, yeah, it’s-it’s pretty scary alright. My last Rick wasn’t all that… great… and I guess this is just r-really different, you know?” He admitted, scratching the back of his neck and glancing down at the ground.

“Y-you don’t have to be scared, Morty. Look, you like cookies?” Rick asked gesturing towards the plate of cookies on the kitchen counter. Morty nodded.

“They’re still warm, help yourself.” I smiled. Morty glanced between Rick and I and the cookies, before hesitantly wandering over to them. He picked one, and took a timid bite from it. The poor kid looked absolutely terrified.

“Th-thanks. These are re-really good, you made these?” He asked me, taking a slightly bigger bite.

“Yep. I hope you like baked goods, cause I love baking.” I grinned, and Morty seemed to approve. Rick grabbed a cookie for himself.

“(Y/n) is an amazing cook, y-you’ll never go hungry.” Rick laughed, grinning at me and draping an arm around my shoulders in appreciation. Morty continued to stare between the two of us, an almost awestruck look in his eye. “Oh, I almost forgot, I made you a welcome-home gift. Let-let me go get it.” Rick said, finishing off his cookie before wandering out of the room.

The kitchen was silent aside from the quiet crunch of Morty chewing his cookie. I watched him carefully as he stared at the ground, wracking my brain for something to say. I didn’t want his first memory of me to be an awkward silence.

“So you’ve been living on the Citadel for a while? How was that?” I asked him, and he looked up at me like a deer in the headlights.

“Uhh, i-it’s okay I guess. I kinda miss having a real home, though.” He shrugged.

“Well, Rick and I are gonna try real hard to give you that. You have your own room upstairs, it’s pretty plain right now, but we can decorate it however you want.” I told him, giving him the warmest smile I could muster.

“Wow, th-thank you.”

I shook my head. “Don’t mention it. You’re part of the family now.”

“Family. So, so what should I call you? Y-you and Rick are together, right? Do-does that make you my Grandma?” He asked, and I stifled a laugh, that took me by surprise.

“Oh, oh… um. Well, I guess it’s up to you, whatever feels comfortable. But (y/n) is fine.” I giggled. “Maybe I just feel a little too young to be called grandma.”

“Oh, right. S-sure.” Morty laughed sheepishly. He was quiet for a while, seeming to mull things over. When he finally looked back up at me, he seemed very suspicious. “C-can I just ask… is Rick always like this?”

“Like what?” I probed, and Morty pursed his lips in thought.

“Well… nice.” He finally said. I raised my brows.

“Is he always nice?” I repeated, and he nodded his head. “Yeah… he’s always just, how he is now.” I shrugged.

“Really? I-I’ve never met a Rick like that.” He admitted.

“I see. Well, I’m not surprised. Most Rick’s aren’t like that, are they?” I said, rather sympathetically. “He’s the kindest Rick I’ve ever met.”

“Are you sure he’s not like… evil? An-and just really good at h-hiding it?” He asked, narrowing his eyes curiously. I chuckled.

“I’m pretty sure. I’ve know him a long time, and he’s always been very sweet. Don’t worry Morty, whatever Rick’s you’ve had in the past; I can guarantee your new one will be the best.” I grinned at him, rolling my eyes at myself. “Perhaps I’m just biased, but I assure you; he’s going to treat you right.”

“Wow, I-I was so nervous I’d get stuck with another Rick like my last one. I’m so r-relieved.” He laughed, seeming to loosen up a bit, smiling a little more easily.

“Y-you guys sound like you’re getting along already.” Rick said as he returned with a wrapped up box in hand. “I can al-already tell this is going to be great! Here you go, M-Morty, it’s nothing big. I hope you like it though!” He handed Morty the gift, and Morty quickly began to tear into the paper.

“Rick! Th-this is so cool!” Morty stared wide eyed at the object. It was a glass box with a 3D holographic model of the milky way inside, it was about the size of a soccer ball and emitted enough light to be a cute little night-light. Rick had made it himself, and by the look on his face, Morty loved it.

“I figured it would make a good s-start towards decorating your room. D-do you like it?” Rick clutched his hands together in front of him, seeking approval. Morty looked up at him with the widest smile I’d ever seen.

“I love it! Thank you, Rick.” he said, and Rick reached over to ruffle his hair affectionately. I couldn’t help but beam.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez x reader #doofus rick #morty smith #fanfiction

[semi-anonyme]

June 10, 2020

12:25pm

A bit of a vulnerable entry here, but I think these are some things I need to get off my chest and out into the world so that I can be more honest and in tune and open rather than holding onto this heavy weight that has been exhausting me emotionally for months (years?).

I have a few huge, ominous limiting beliefs in my life that affect  a.) what I aspire to do,  b.) what I actually do,  c.) what I do instead. 

Just to be brutally honest here to the few people who do follow this tumblr, one of my biggest limiting beliefs is this: that I have to a choose between a practical life of work, love, and simple pleasures or a life of creativity, solitude, and honesty to myself.

When I'm feeling extra creative, I end up having weeks like last week where I worked on my programming project for 6 hours + practiced piano for 6 hours + worked out/danced at the park for 4+ hours. I started adding authentication mechanisms in my programming side project, my chord changes on a walking bass line were starting to smooth out a bit. I felt good and honest but also a little bit exhausted, too.

When that exhaustion and isolation gets a bit intense, I begin to ask myself "what's the fucking point" and it leads to days or weeks where I'm spinning in circles justifying why I should or should not pursue these things, feeling like a shell of a person because I'm not allowing myself to enjoy the fruits of my white collar labor like my friends and colleagues are, feeling that my pursuits are empty and selfish and you know I'm going to die anyway what does it all matter whether I create something cool.

I've been going through The Artist's Way (somewhat diligently) and one of the things that Julia Cameron points out is this a very, very, very common limiting belief among those who feel creatively stuck, this deeply embedded belief and conflict that you're either practical or artistic, one or the other and can't be both. I know that this is a limiting and untrue belief at my core because there are plenty of people I look up to who have both great careers and are creatively fulfilled but I really have to do the work to dismantle this idea.

One of the fundamental principles of the program is to relearn that creation and creativity is the natural state of affairs for humans, that when we are feeling "blocked" it's usually due to the accumulation of negative experiences and reciting the comments of critics over the years.

I find that to be true. When I'm walking down the street and for whatever reason I come up with a rhyme ("damn her language is so crass/silly sally slap that ass") it's just fun and entertaining. When I sit down to write a short story and the first paragraph initially seems kind of good but then I start comparing it to Hemingway and the comparison takes the impact out of my words, that's when it becomes not fun.

Basically, we have to recover a sense of safety and excitement in creating rather than the suspicion and comparison that we've been accustom to as adults. In the program, you do that by reciting your affirmations in the morning about the importance of your creativity, write out the thoughts in your head free from criticism ("letting God flow through you"), go on dates with yourself to do fun and creative things, and other exercises that I haven't quite gotten to.

When I'm being really honest and level-headed, the life I imagine for myself is this: the next few years, as I work a full time job and save a little money and pay off debts, I work really hard learning how to program my side projects so that I have both a good architectural overview of how complex systems work together. With those in hand, I can 1.) create fully functional projects from scratch and 2.) have good starting templates for projects so that I can freelance and be my own boss whenever I really need $$$. I mention this because i think my career as a programmer/the things I want to create are certainly creative.

I also work really hard learning my piano/synths work so I can start expressing myself musically and appreciating the music that I love. Basically, when I get to a point where I can structure my time more autonomously doing freelance shit in a few years, I want to have the building blocks and a strong foundation to start setting down bricks -- as a programmer, musician, writer.

But when I'm in the throes of stagnation, that's when I really start to question it all: wouldn't it be easier to just find a nice woman to date and travel with? Let's focus on engineering a bit so I can travel the world. Let's take my salary and live in Laos. Let's go to Mexico and have sex in a villa on the beach. Let's get really hot and get 100k Instagram Followers, take photos of the Mai Tais we're drinking and shit. Let's settle down in a cute bungalow house in Nashville.  Yeah, yeah, yeah... do that. What the fuck am I doing? Who do I think I am? I'm not Donald Glover, I'm not some genius Silicon Valley engineer.

It's in these situations I find myself kind of self-sabotaging. I spend more time thinking than doing. I discount the little wins I was celebrating.

I drink beer and eat cookies.

That's another really dense limiting belief that I have that I've never written about before and I'm a little bit ashamed to write but fuck it here I am, self-sabotage not just with regards to overthinking the direction of my life and trying to "think myself out of a thought" but also when it comes to my physical appearance. 

I made really big, sweeping declarations in January (2020/2019/2018) about dropping weight which have not come to fruition. It is both absolutely surprising and no surprise at all that my weight always hovers between 148 and 152 (I am 5′6″) 

It's absolutely surprising in the sense that I'm not really a big foodie (my go to meal of avocado+roast beef+toast is 700 calories, eaten twice a day), I don't really care to eat terribly unhealthy food (when I'm sober), and my physical activity is certainly above average.

It's unsurprising though in that my ways of coping with stress involve eating very unhealthy sweets and drinking very high ABV (read: super calorie dense) beers.

Obviously, fucking cheesecake and hazy IPAs those aren't going to help my physical appearance, but I mention where my weight hovers around for a reason. I hope this doesn't seem like a flex, and dude this is such a weird thing to write about but I really am trying to be honest here, but when I start really dropping weight I get a lot of attention from women. While that may seem super desirable (and yeah who doesn't want to be desired), the reason I mention my weight range between 148 and 152 is that this is my "comfortably chubby" range, where I don't feel too entirely confident (I start looking pretty trim at 145, which is coincidentally the weight I can wear my favorite shirt and jeans) but also not disgusting (I really hate the way I look at 155+).

When I'm comfortably chubby and I'm not getting much attention from women, the fact is, I don't have to make hard decisions as much -- you know, why intensify the conflict of "comfortable living and settling down with a partner I love" vs "creative life of solitude" and make it that much more difficult by throwing romance into it all. Add in some fears of abandonment to the mix and it makes a compelling argument for me to stay comfortably invisible. But in the end, I end up occupying this No Man's Land space where, at my core as a romantic, I deprive myself of the love that I'd like to be in while being safe from the world shaking repercussions that falling in love brings about. I have never written that out before. Talked about it with my therapist a bit but I think the only reason I feel comfortable writing that out, all of this, is because I want to have a relationship with my closest friends where I'm open about my mental struggles rather than vocal when things are going my way and quiet when things are not, as well as to say, you know what, I'm fucking done occupying this space of false safety where I am neither committing to practical nor creative, closing myself off to the possibility of love and tough decisions, falling back to the same sort of coping mechanisms that have led me down the same dead ended roads over and over again, you know. I’m going to dismantle these beliefs I have about myself and the world. I’m done with them.

I have a lot of work to do. But the work has never really scared me, it was always the prospect of choosing a path and closing off the possibility of going down other paths that has always felt debilitating and daunting to me. But I have to have faith, you know, that choosing is the only option, and being cool with that choice, and knowing that life is good regardless of where that path takes me, that being alive is good no matter how many rules I've thrown on top of it.

Anyway.

How’s that for a fucking Wednesday.

Logs, btw: https://semi-anonyme.blog/logs

#self #text post #vulnerability #the artists way

[closetalchemist]

ive spent many years with a very commercial artstyle mostly doing fanarts, butlately ive been wanting to get into minimal, shapes-based art doing original content but i never seem to be creative enough to create a story (like yours w/ tris and cameo) or just scratch all the cartoony/anime mix i do and start over. u have any tips on that? sorry for bothering u

You’re not bothering me at all! idk if I’m the best at giving art advice but i’ll try my best.

Ok. Stories. For me I try really hard not to think about if my stories are creative or interesting because then I get bogged down with the fear of people hating it. Focus on things that you love and WANT to write about and draw. If you’re passionate about something then that will show through in the stories you tell and the work you put into your art. 

It’s good to start small. making a single page comic of a simple idea then working your way with more pages and more complex stories over time helps ease you into long form sequential stories. It’s super daunting to just sit down and say “I’m going to make a nine part epic story if hundreds of pages” when you don’t know your writing style or how you work with comics. 

Growing up I would just sit in my room going through reams and reams of printer paper just making comics about trope laden gay vampires and self insert alien high school romance. I remade all my stories over and over again just trying to get them just right. While none of these were good in any sense of the word, it helped me figure out how exactly I made comics and got me comfortable with it. I also was lucky enough to have a sequential arts class last year where we made comics that were one page, gray scale, and didn’t have any words. This was SUPER SUPER helpful because it helped me tell stories in only one page and figure out interesting panel compositions. 

 It’s ok to pull from things you love? Like all my comics are based on old alchemical/medieval/baroque folklore that I found fascinating. My character designs are inspired by Bosch paintings. Having layers of references or easter eggs in my work is really fun for me. I keep a document of just weird ideas or dreams or things I’ve seen that I might want to draw. The ideas are only maybe one to three sentences and not fully formed, but, it gives me a grab bag to go back to when I want to make a comic and have not clue as to what it’s about. 

Tris and Cameo have been in the works for a long loooong time and the majority of their content right now is a couple word documents, some thumbnails, and a lot of drawings of them that have no real story behind them. I’m slowly building their story but over the years i’ve rewritten it as I’ve changed as an artist. I tried to make it a real comic a couple summers ago but it wasn’t fleshed out enough and I wasn’t ready for long form comics so I stopped. And that’s fine. it’s ok to start something then never finish it. Being comfortable with starting again is just as important as being able to draw or write. If you scrap an idea, try and save it for later just in case, future you might see some potential in it. I threw away so many comics I made as a kid a long time ago and i regret that because I love going back home and seeing my stories and maybe taking a few with me for future use. 

Last tiny note! Comics like Snot Girl and Remake have a combination of cartoony and anime that works really well! 

Hope this helped and good luck!

#asks #long post #sorry this got kind of long #Anonymous

[entrepreneurnut]

SendLane Review - Does It Live Up To The Hype?

New Post has been published on https://entrepreneurnut.com/sendlane-review/

SendLane Review - Does It Live Up To The Hype?

Email marketing — love it or hate it, it’s a necessity for any online business that wants to thrive.

A lot of small-time and beginner marketers avoid using email in the beginning. It can seem daunting, time-consuming and expensive. But take it from the, the earlier you can start building a list, the better off you will be further down the line.

If you’re gonna incorporate email marketing into your business (and you definitely should if you want to build a scalable, long-term asset) then you will need to use an autoresponder service.

Besides now being a legal requirement for email marketing, using an autoresponder will also make your list building efforts considerably easier. Unfortunately, many fall short, in my opinion — I’ve tried quite a few of them.

In the past, I’ve found myself settling for “good enough,” but since this is such an important part of my business, I am always on the look-out for the next best autoresponder to test out.

It’s a marketers dream to find that holy grail solution — something that’s easy to use and affiliate marketing friendly with exceptional deliverability rates.

The latest contender for the cup? SendLane. Is it a good fit for your online business, too? Let’s find out. This SendLane review will cover everything you need to know about this up-and-coming automated marketing solution.

Things to Consider Before Buying an Autoresponder

Like most things in business — and life — finding the right option for you depends heavily on your preferences and needs.

Where SendLane really shines is in its simplicity of use and exceptional deliverability rates.

However, if you’re a marketer who handles massive campaigns for large organizations, then SendLane may not provide all the features you need. In this case, you may be better off with a higher-priced service that offers more automation, analytics, and bells and whistles, such as HubSpot.

However, if you’re looking for a powerful tool that’s easy to use and excels at its core features — email broadcasts, automation, and outstanding deliverability rates — SendLane might be perfect for you.

It’s an excellent fit for small to medium-sized businesses, and affiliate marketers looking for a simple user interface with plenty of automation options.

Yes, SendLane is affiliate marketing friendly! I heard this directly from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

This is a big consideration if affiliate marketing is a core part of your business. Unfortunately, most autoresponder services don’t like affiliates and will shut you down for simply including an affiliate link in your emails. It’s happened to me…

Still not sure if SendLane autoresponder is right for you? Consider the following while you read through the rest of this SendLane review.

The number of customers: How many emails will you be sending out, and how often?

The complexity of the rules: Are you satisfied with basic features like timed sending, or do you need to get fancier?

Analytics: Make sure you choose an autoresponder that provides you with focused analytics reports, instead of overwhelming you with unnecessary stats.

GDPR-compliant: Make sure that you stay on the right side of the law and protect your customers’ privacy.

SendLane: A Closer Look

SendLane is an easy-to-use autoresponder with some very high-end tools. It features advanced contact tagging, which allows the system to automatically group subscribers by geographic region, or pretty much any other criteria you desire.

Advanced list-building options such as this are fantastic to give your marketing efforts a laser-focus with precise market targeting.

These features alone can considerably improve both your open and your conversion rates.

Its simple interface also makes it a fantastic option for novice marketers or people running their own businesses who need to handle the marketing on their own.

In my opinion, 

it does take a bit of time to fully understand the system, but the results are well worth it. Having said that, all the autoresponder services I have used to date do have a bit of a learning curve.

SendLane Pros and Cons

SendLane Pros:

Intuitive design

Exceptional deliverability rates

Excellent support

Plenty of automation options with tons of triggers to choose from

High-end landing page and email editors

Simple to use drag-and-drop editor

Integrates with Shopify, WooCommerce, Zapier, and ClickBank available, with more coming in the future

SendLane Cons:

Can be spendy as your subscriber list grows

No onboarding process when you first install the software

Some aspects feel clunky

SendLane Features and Benefits

By now, you probably want to know more detailed info on SendLane’s features and benefits. So here goes…

Drag and Drop Editor

One of the features I like the most about SendLane is its simple to use drag and drop editor. It makes creating visually ravishing emails simple and hassle-free, which I find fun, and a big time-saver.

You can choose from a wide variety of email elements and customize them in any way you see fit to best represent your brand and help your conversions.

There are currently about 20 templates, which is about standard among popular autoresponders in 2020.

While you can customize these, I do wish SendLane offered a slightly more extensive catalog of options. It’s not a deal-breaker though as you can also create your own templates from scratch if you want to.

Landing Page Creator

If you want more than just an email editor, you’ll appreciate SendLane’s landing page creator. Unlike the email editor, you get over 50 templates to choose from with an impressive range of designs.

This is a great feature as it can save you money on third-party page builders like ClickFunnels, depending on your needs, of course.

Some templates even include countdown timers, videos, and pop-ups, which is really cool. However, I struggled to figure out how to add them to other templates.

Some people may appreciate this feature, but if you’re looking strictly for an email tool, chances are you won’t use this feature at all.

Advanced Contact Tagging and Automation

SendLane goes well beyond ‘drip-feed’ email functionality and lets you set up workflows that change your email delivery depending on what your subscribers do.

You can also tag subscribers based on where they live, their sign-up source, the device they use, and pretty much any other custom tag you can think of.

Even better, this incredibly powerful functionality is very simple to set up and use, even if you’re new to the world of marketing.

For me, this is one of the most important considerations when it comes to choosing an autoresponder. If it’s intuitive and easy to use then it’s a big plus in my book.

Standard Reporting and Analytics

Most marketing software gives you plenty of analytics to chew over, and SendLane is no different, offering data on:

Open rates

Click through rates

Bounce rates

Your most active subscribers with the highest open rates

People who unsubscribed, and their stated reason

Most of these analytics work in real-time, so you’ll always have an up-to-date view of what’s going on in your marketing campaign — without being overwhelmed.

SendLane provides a manageable amount of data presented in an easy-to-read format. Because of this, it is so much easier to act on your data to make improvements where you need to.

What I particularly like about the data the SendLane provides is that you can set up all your different campaigns and have it track all the clicks and conversions on your website as well as the conversions that come directly from your emails, as you can see below.

SendLane’s data can even help you track all the clicks and sales that are coming from each of your email campaigns, and report on how much each subscriber has spent with you.

As you can see from the screenshot below, this subscriber made a purchase via email of $99.

This is super powerful, especially if you run an eCom business or if you create your own digital products!

Automatically Optimized Send Times

Unlike many autoresponders that ask you to figure out the best time to send your emails, SendLane will optimize the process for you, which is awesome!

The program analyses previous email open rates and suggests the perfect time to send the next one.

Best of all, you can set up this functionality on an individual email basis, tailoring every single person’s experience to their particular habits, if you want to go that deep. Alternatively, you can save time and just let SendLane optimize the whole sending process for you.

Creating a List of Contracts

Lists are key to customizing your email campaigns.

SendLane lets you add contacts to as many lists as you like, and duplicates don’t count towards your contact limit.

This is important to be aware of as some autoresponders like Aweber will count contacts multiple times if they are subscribed to more than one of your lists. This means that you will quickly reach your subscriber limit and then need to upgrade to a higher priced plan. But with SendLane, you don’t need to worry about this.

You can even set different rules for each list, giving you granular control over your entire subscriber base.

Once you’ve set up your lists, you can also automate adding new subscribers to each particular list as they sign up.

SendLane allows you to create a form for new sign-ups or integrate your existing website API in some cases.

Email Broadcasts in SendLane

Email broadcasts are the bread and butter of email marketing, and SendLane’s process is streamlined and simple.

The broadcast tool gives you over 20 marketing templates along with customization for when to send out the email.

Email Automation in SendLane

We’ve touched upon this briefly when discussing automation, but SendLane offers a very powerful workflow tool that allows you to send emails in a very focused manner.

Workflow setup is pretty simple — you can either start with a template or from scratch.

Not only does SendLane have a comprehensive list of triggers, but it also allows for if/else functionality, which is pretty powerful.

If/else workflows let you customize your workflow even further. The simple flow-chart layout makes understanding the process significantly easier for people just starting in marketing.

API and Integrations

API, or ‘application programming interface,’ is a method for a particular program to talk with other programs.

If you want to integrate SendLane functionality with another program, you can use their well-documented API to do so quite easily.

SendLane also allows other programs to talk to it, such as Shopify, WooCommerce, and ClickBank.

They are still working on adding more integrations with other common platforms, like WordPress, which is surprisingly still missing. However, if you use Zapier then you can integrate SendLane with pretty much anything.

Onboarding

SendLane takes the ‘throw them in the deep end’ approach to onboarding, in that they don’t offer any form of tutorial, which is a shame.

Luckily, the user interface is simple to use, and the processes streamlined enough that you should be able to figure it out by yourself.

If you feel entirely lost, then you can click the red help button to contact customer support or check out some SendLane tutorials on YouTube.

Automation

Naturally, an autoresponder has to hit automation out of the park.

SendLane provides plenty of robust automation tools with a simple user interface to make your life easier.

The platform’s workflows are clear and effective. In my opinion, it provides everything that most digital marketers will need.

Deliverability

SendLane has a very aggressive list culling and hygiene processes in place to reduce the number of dead or false email addresses you have to deal with and pay for during a campaign.

The program also generates easy-to-follow deliverability reports, allowing you to see how many of your emails are actually delivered.

You can see exactly how SendLane’s deliverability compares to its competitors in this SendLane comparison chart here.

Ease of Use

Despite the lack of onboarding, SendLane is surprisingly easy to use. Even its most powerful features are simple to figure out.

With plenty of click-and-drag functionality and clear visuals, most users, even beginner marketers will probably get the hang of things on the first use.

Social Proof

While I could go on about the features I liked and didn’t like about SendLane, it’s also worthwhile to find out what other people think.

I scoured the internet to find out what people on the ground, such as entrepreneurs and small business owners, think of SendLane.

Most people overall seemed to like it a lot.

The reviews weren’t glowing across the board — I’d question their authenticity if they were — but, overall, SendLane reviews are quite positive.

Here are some of the SendLane reviews I found from business owners and marketers:

SendLane Pricing

As you no doubt understand by now, SendLane offers way above average functionality and provides several ways to help you increase your subscriber base and generate higher revenue from your campaigns.

Due to this, and the additional new features that SendLane have added to their service, they have recently changed their pricing structure.

Perviously, SendLane’s starting price was $25 per month, which was about middle of the road compared to its competitors.

While SendLane’s new pricing structure is higher, they do offer a very attractive starter bundle for new members, which is $497 for the year. This works out at just over $41 per month.

While this can seem like a lot to beginner marketers, those who have been in business for a while and understand the importance of the features that SendLane offer will likely see this as a great deal.

On the starter plan you get everything on SendLane’s more expensive growth plan for your first 6 months.

Below is a screenshot of their pricing table.

You can see SendLane’s full pricing page here.

SendLane Alternatives

SendLane offers a heaping plate of appealing features, but if it doesn’t meet your needs, there are plenty of other more time-tested autoresponders out there.

Here are some alternatives that you may also want to consider.

Aweber

The main difference between the two is the presentation and price.

While SendLane definitely has more advanced automation features, Aweber offers quite a few more templates, as well as a more competitive starting cost. This can be appealing for beginners who don’t need fancy automation processes.

It is a superb option for small businesses who want to dip their toe into email marketing without spending too much money.

SendLane, however, is a better option for marketers who want more powerful automation and a few nice extras that Aweber doesn’t have.

Aweber:

More affordable–starts at $19/month

Larger support team

More standard email templates

Affiliate marketing friendly

SendLane:

Comes with a landing page builder

Better automation features

$25/month starting price

If you’re looking for an email-focused product with plenty of support and a more affordable starting price, check out Aweber here.

GetResponse

GetResponse is an industry leader when it comes to email marketing. It’s the ideal solution for large-scale operations that handle thousands of emails per day and companies that want an all-in-one solution.

SendLane is a more customized tool that’s perfect for smaller businesses, e-commerce owners, and digital agencies that need powerful automation without many other marketing tools.

GetResponse:

High deliverability

Customized plans for added flexibility and scalability

GetResponse has been on the market for years, with the track record to prove it

Affiliate marketing friendly

SendLane:

Approachable and user-friendly interface

Email timing optimization

Tagging and list-based automation

If you want a cheaper starting price option than SendLane with similar functionality, GetResponse may be the right choice for you. Check out GetResponse here.

Mailer Lite

If you want an autoresponder that is very low priced and even has a free forever plan, but with good functionality then Mailer Lite is a good option.

It’s important to note that it’s not affiliate marketing friendly, but if your business does not revolve around promoting affiliate offers then this is not a problem.

One work-around to using an autoresponder that does not allow you to put affiliate links directly in the emails is to create a landing page with your affiliate link, and then link to the landing page from your emails.

As mentioned earlier, autoresponder service offers a free forever plan with limited functionality. However, when you do start paying, it is considerably cheaper than many other options on the market.

Pricing starts at just $15 per month for up to 2,500 subs! This starting plan also comes with unlimited user accounts and you can send an unlimited number of emails. It is also easy to use, which makes it a great choice for beginners.

Mailer Lite:

Free forever plan

Easy to use

Send unlimited emails on the lowest price plan

Not affiliate friendly

SendLane:

Better automation for personalized email marketing

Primarily built for affiliates and B2C businesses

Provides useful analytics data and web activity tracking

If you run an eCommerce, drop-ship, or digital product business, you’ll appreciate the powerful features that Mailer Lite brings. You can check out Mailer Lite here.

If you want to check out the top 7 autoresponders I recommend, you can see them here.

Summing It Up: SendLane in Review

Email marketing is a highly valuable lead generation tool, and is a cornerstone of any successful online business. However, if you’re using a sub-par, or even just the wrong autoresponder for your needs then email marketing can become a headache.

As you can see from the features that SendLane has to offer, it can simplify your digital marketing efforts, free up your time, and help you to generate more customers, and increase profits.

In my opinion, SendLane offers an excellent solution for small to medium businesses. It is intuitive and easy to work with that anyone can use it effectively in a short space of time. It also has plenty of powerful features that are usually only available on superior autoresponder services at higher prices.

If you’re interested in trying out SendLane then you will be pleased to know that they do have a 14-day free trial. While you will need to enter your credit cart info to sign up for the free trial, you can cancel at any time before the end of the 14 days and you will not be charged.

If you’d like to try out this autoresponder service then you can get a 14-day free trial here.

[entergamingxp]

Tokyo Mirage Sessions is Scratching My Itch for Persona 5 on Switch

February 18, 2020 1:00 PM EST

While the world keeps hoping for Persona 5 on Switch, Tokyo Mirage Sessions has filled the crave that I’ve had for a similar experience.

In late 2015, I went out on a whim and picked up Persona 4 Golden for my Vita during one of the PlayStation Store’s year-end sales. Most of this purchase came down to the fact that I had heard nothing but raves from friends and colleagues about the game, and the series as a whole. Despite my hesitation about jumping in to the fourth entry in a popular JRPG series that I had never played before (and especially one with such a daunting length), I figured that it couldn’t hurt to try it for the $10 or so that I spent on it.

Little did I know how much that I would end up loving Persona 4 Golden, or the fact that $10 would be an absolute steal for it. I played P4G relentlessly throughout the first couple months of 2016, and it easily became not only my favorite Vita game, but one of my all-time favorite RPGs. Throughout those couple of months, I couldn’t help but be sucked into Persona 4 Golden’s story and characters, and I wanted to spend as much time in Inaba as I could. And also with Chie, because she is Best Girl.

“I couldn’t help but be sucked into Persona 4 Golden’s story and characters, and I wanted to spend as much time in Inaba as I could.”

All of this is context for the fact that I took a big chance on Persona 4 Golden, unsure if it would be the type of game for me, and came out of it compelled to dig even deeper into the series ever since. Last year I finally played through Persona 3 Portable on my Vita, and over the holidays I picked up Persona Q and Q2 on 3DS, and the complete collection of the Persona Dancing games on PS4.

That of course has led me to want to play through Persona 5, a game that has been near the top of my backlog for the past three years. I’ve put in somewhere between 5-10 hours into it so far: in Persona 5 standards that is just barely scratching the game’s surface. Despite my several attempts to finally experience the story of the Phantom Thieves for myself, I have struggled with finding the right time to really commit to the game.

There are plenty of reasons why I think I’ve had a hard time actually getting to play Persona 5, the most obvious being the usual things that happen in life: work, spending time with friends and loved ones, and other commitments. Add on top of that the demands of working in the field that we do at DualShockers, where there is always something new to play and experience (and review, and write about), and trying to cram in a 100+ hour JRPG on top of all of that is just hard to do, if not impossible.

But for me personally, the biggest reason that I can point to my difficulties in trying to play Persona 5 has been the fact that it’s confined to my PS4, a console that I’ve had less and less time at home to play. This is a sentiment that I share with our own Michael Ruiz, when he wrote about the demands of playing longer games when life can get in the way. Whether or not it’s because I started my experiences with the series on the Vita, something just didn’t feel right when I was playing Persona 5 on the PS4. Though it may be superficial, not having the ability to take the game with me is surely a big part of why I’ve had trouble sinking the time into it that I desperately want to.

“I felt like I was missing out on part of that experience with Persona 5 by not having the game in a portable fashion.”

Everything about the experience of playing through the Persona games on handhelds just scratched a certain itch for me in a way that I have a hard time describing. The best way that I can explain it is that, in a way, playing through Persona 3 and 4 mirrored the hustle and bustle of my everyday life — from going from home to work, to finding the time to spend with friends and family — and taking those experiences along with me felt comforting. Going from the stresses of everyday life and unwinding with those games was reassuring, whether it was going through floors of the games’ dungeons on my commute home or spending some time enhancing my Social Links before going to bed. Trying to manage and organize the time that I had in-game felt like some small semblance of command over my character’s in-game life, in a way that I often don’t have control over in my own everyday life.

I felt like I was missing out on part of that experience with Persona 5 by not having the game in a portable fashion, in a weird way where real life sort of enhanced what I was experiencing in the game. Though I’m clearly not the only one hoping for a Switch version of Persona 5, with “#BreakPersonaFree” currently trending on Twitter, I’ve yearned for the announcement of a Switch version of the game, hoping that I can finally play it in the format that I’ve always felt the series worked best in.

Right now those prospects seem unclear, with Persona 5 Scramble about to hit Japan this week (with no announced Western release date) and Persona 5 Royal coming exclusively to PS4 next month in the West. But for the time being, even if we don’t wind up with P5 on Switch, Tokyo Mirage Sessions has come in to fill the exact void that has been left in my heart for a similar experience.

Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE Encore, the recently-released Switch version of the 2016 Wii U RPG, is the first time that I’m experiencing this title for myself, having missed out on it before. While that was mostly due to the fact that I didn’t have a Wii U, the return of TMS initially had me hesitant to jump into it, having never really been a huge Fire Emblem or Shin Megami Tensei fan. I’ve only had vague familiarity with Fire Emblem through the series’ inclusion in Super Smash Bros., and the small glimpses of SMT that I have are from understanding its connections to the Persona series.

However, after hearing that the game had some Persona-style elements to it, I decided to take a chance on Tokyo Mirage Sessions and pre-ordered the Switch version. Though initially Tokyo Mirage Session very much seemed like a hit or miss type of game for me, in the six hours or so that I’ve put into the game so far I’ve only come away loving it. In particular, I was completely surprised by how much of my experiences with Persona 3 and 4 and what I loved about those games would wind up making their way into TMS, from the cast and world of modern-day Japan, right down to the combat system and gameplay. Frankly, I was shocked how quickly I was able to get a grasp on how TMS played; even during the combat sequences, aside from a few key differences, it plays more or less like a Persona game.

“The J-pop-fueled world of Tokyo Mirage Sessions gave me enough of a hook to love the game on its own terms, and not merely as just an emulation of what I loved from the Persona games.”

In a lot of ways, Tokyo Mirage Sessions really felt like the next best thing that I could ask for in having a Persona-style experience on the Switch, but with its own unique flavor and twists to differentiate it. The more contemporary setting of the Persona games always felt like a breath of fresh air from the medieval or futuristic settings of other RPGs that I’ve played, and Tokyo Mirage Sessions certainly plays with Persona-style themes of friendship and blurring the lines of reality and the supernatural. That said, the J-pop-fueled world of Tokyo Mirage Sessions gave me enough of a hook to love the game on its own terms, and not merely as just an emulation of what I loved from the Persona games. I’ve already been enamored by the game’s pop-star-themed story and characters, and even the act of grinding in the game feels elevated by its vibrant battles and visuals that feel less like repetitive battles and more like mini concerts.

Though I’m still only in the early parts of Tokyo Mirage Sessions, I can already tell that it’s a title that I’ll be sinking dozens of hours into over the next few weeks, and I can probably thank the Persona series for that, much like P4G introduced me to the series as a whole so many years ago. While we’re still left with baited breath on whether or not Atlus will finally deliver on the hopes and dreams of fans to bring the Phantom Thieves with them on-the-go with a Switch version of Persona 5, I have to say that spending time with the members of Fortuna Entertainment has felt just as worthwhile for me. Tokyo Mirage Sessions might have opened me up to a whole new range of worlds to explore, even if only it just happened to be the right game to come at the right time for me.

And hey – at the very least, we do get that sweet Joker outfit in the Switch version of Tokyo Mirage Sessions.

February 18, 2020 1:00 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/02/tokyo-mirage-sessions-is-scratching-my-itch-for-persona-5-on-switch/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=tokyo-mirage-sessions-is-scratching-my-itch-for-persona-5-on-switch

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The journey comes to an end: IDT690

1)  How has each course contributed to your personal and professional development as an instructional designer?

It has been a crazy year as I’ve navigated through the various courses in the IDTMS program. When I first started out, I was a PR major. Because of this, I went through the initial Mastery course with an end goal of PR in mind. I feel like I came into the program with a handicap, because of that. I hadn’t put a lot of thought into my end goal as an instructional designer, because at the time it wasn’t. When I entered the first official course in the program, Strategies for Learner Engagement, I felt like I was starting behind everyone. I didn’t even know exactly what I was getting myself into. I just knew that the program was in the field of education. I’m so glad I stuck it out though, because I ended up being exactly where I needed and wanted to be. That first official course, helped me to become more comfortable with Lynda.com. I know that doesn’t seem like much, but I’d never really used the site before and having to follow an instructional video piece by piece, really helped me to become more comfortable with all that it had to offer. Because of that, I know that there’s always a place I can go for advice or tutorials in instructional design. As I moved into course three, Visual and Verbal Communication, I began to learn just how important the text and colors I chose mattered to the learner. I didn’t want to use a text that took away from the actual educational content I was trying to promote. I also had to learn that text can easily disappear into an image and be hard to read. I had to find that sweet spot with the text and colors, while making it look like it actually belonged on the photo. That course taught me some of the essential building blocks I found myself thinking about every course after. The fourth course, Corporate Training and Motivational Development, was where I had to start getting used to having myself on camera. I’m not a fan of being on camera, as I don’t feel confident. It may seem silly, but I was complimented on my voice and narration during course four, and it instilled in me a sense of confidence that made me come to terms with the real purpose of being on screen. Yes, to some degree the learner would focus on what I looked like, but ultimately the information and images I presented them with were what mattered. If my voice was what helped get the concepts across, then so be it. It was this course that made me realize that my tone of voice and the way in which I read things could be very beneficial as an instructional designer. Course number five, Instructional Design and Evaluation,  was where I had my first truly proud creation moment. During the beginning half of the course, we were using a tool to help assist us in making infographics. We’d made them in course number two, but these were the first ones we really had to make on our own. For week three of the course, I decided to step away from the tool, and put to use everything I’d learned so far. I’m so glad I did, because I produced my Rapid Prototyping Infographic that I am so proud of. This infographic wasn’t done with a template and was my creation from other images or shapes. Though it may not be as amazing as I thought it was back then, it was the first moment I realized I honestly could create meaningful graphics if I set my mind to it. It was in Digital Media and Learning Applications that I honestly wondered if I’d gotten into something way over my head. I’m married to an IT guy, so I know the general gist of coding. Actually no, I don’t really know anything other than all those letters and symbols are the backbone of pretty much anything technical we see. Many a night I had to ask my husband if I was just blind, as I scoured over my code trying to find where I’d messed up. As the weeks went on though, I became more confident. I found myself asking for him less and less, and rather found myself showing him what I’d created. I know there’s no way I could have created all of that code from scratch, so I am very grateful for the video we followed along, but because of that course I realized that just because something is intimidating, doesn’t mean I can’t do it. I made it through that course and produced, in my eyes, a decently nice quiz. It worked, the images matched up, and it provided good feedback. It was definitely something I knew I’d have enjoyed as a kid. Being able to create such a thing was a big stepping point in my journey, as yet again I was able to push aside the “I can’t” attitude and change it into an “I can...and I did!” Course 7, Music and Audio Design, was one I was just not a fan of. The professor was great and helpful, but music and audio just weren’t my thing. I found myself struggling to get through the course. I did though, and I’m actually grateful. That course taught me just how important the audio side of things really is. I don’t have a good quality mic, and I know I’ll have to invest in one if I wish to create more professional level projects, but that course taught me tricks and tips to make do until then. I realized that the reverb and compression can make a voice sound smooth like butter. I learned audio tips that I found myself using in every video or audio project from there on out. What started out as something I had no interest in, ended with me actually spending a decent amount of time trying to get sounds just right. By learning and understanding the importance of audio, because of that course, I’m now able to produce a higher quality of sound in my work. The eighth course, Filmmaking Principles, was one of the most fun courses to me. At first I felt confined by the options presented, but I realized that in the actual job field that’s how it will be. 99% of the time, I won’t have absolute freedom for what I’m creating. I’ll be given a specific topic and have to go from there. This course was a great way for me to put this process to use. I loved being able to create storyboards and actually see them come to life. It was a complete process all in one course, and it showed me that I can do it. I can take a topic, plan it, create it, shoot it, edit it, and produce something i’m super proud of. Like most of the courses, it was a course that helped me to build confidence, as it’s something I tend to lack. Game Strategies, course number nine, was the course I’d looked forward to since the beginning. When I was in the classroom as a teacher, I always loved playing games with my students. Of course it’s important for them to be educational games, so I was excited for whatever I would learn in this course. I ended up learning more than I would have thought, and actually learning the importance of roleplaying. Dr. Dan was a phenomenal teacher who helped me to understand, on a deeper level, the importance of things like role playing. I’d never done it before, and our live session with him, Richard, and I, was the most fun I think I’ve had throughout the program. By participating in active roleplaying, I learned just how much of an impact it can have. That course taught me that there are so many ways to reach my students, and sometimes it takes completely being someone else to make it happen. Course ten, Learning Management Systems, showed me how much organization matters. We’d already learned about creating things, and this course showed me how presenting them truly matters. Online learning is a huge thing nowadays, so to make it the best possible experience for students is important. I was grateful to learn about LMS’s and sites like Edmodo, so I can put them to use in any online modules I may do in the future. After all of those courses, I came to the final two. Both this course, and course eleven, Media Asset Creation, were good reflection courses for me. I was able to look back at everything I’d learned and put it to use. In course 11, I took all that I knew and made it into something. In this course, I’m able to take the chance to understand the why. Reflection is an important part of the learning process, and I’m so happy that I was able to do it, especially for this assignment. As I look at all I’ve typed above, I’m able to see how far I’ve come. I love that I can look at each course individually and know how it helped shape me into the instructional designer I am.

2)  How well were you able to utilize the concepts and techniques you learned from the program (theories, systems design, interface styling, and the creation of multimedia content) as you designed, developed, and implemented your Final Project?

Creating the assets for the final project started off as a daunting task. I recall being extremely stressed at first wondering if I was honestly ready for this point in my Mastery journey. I remember asking myself if I really knew what I was doing. In fact, my original plan I turned in, wasn’t at all what I ended with. As I set out to actually create the assets, I realized that I had a picture in my head that my words weren’t accurately describing. I needed to fix this, so I made sure I could make adjustments, and I set out to make them match up. I ended up with three assets I was truly proud of. I had made use of everything I’d learned about Adobe Illustrator and Adobe Photoshop and had produced assets that I knew a learner could benefit from. I made sure to keep in mind things that Reiser and Dempsey had taught me. I knew that anything I created I wanted to be good for the learner and not overwhelm them. I think overall I did a good job of putting the concepts I learned, as well as the techniques to produce final assets that show exactly what I’m capable of. One thing that honestly stuck out in my mind throughout all of the asset creations was something that Dr. Chris said may times. It was about the positioning of text. I kept this in mind every time I typed something and made sure to keep text straight on the left and ragged on the right, rather than a mixture of both on either side. It was something I kept getting in trouble for in his courses, so I made sure to catch myself on something as important as my final project.

3)  Describe your most outstanding personal triumph in each course.

Looking through each course to answer number one, brought back so many memories throughout this journey. In all honesty, it’s hard to believe that this is my final homework assignment, and that September 1st, I will be graduating. As  I look at each course, I generally have certain projects or triumphs that stick out in my mind.

     Course 1- Mastery: Personal Development and Leadership

     This course was where it all began. I had the final goal of a PR degree in mind. I actually ended up going 2 courses after this before realizing PR just wasn’t for me. My best triumph in this class was honestly just getting an A+ and realizing that I could in fact do Masters level work. I’d put off getting my Masters and in fact, never even knew if I’d honestly be able to. So to get an A+ in my first course was a huge triumph. 

     Course 2- Strategies for Learner Engagement

     For this course, there’s no doubt what my biggest triumph was. I may have just been following along with a video, but I successfully created my first infographic. This infographic has a lot going on with it, so it wasn’t at all easy for a beginner. I was able to even take parts of it and make them my own, in a way. Looking at it now, I’m still just as proud as I was back then.

     Course 3- Visual and Verbal Communication in Instructional Design

     My main triumph during this course was to actually create a presentation in Keynote on Renewable Energy, and to have it actually work. I took visuals and had to make them work, had to make things clickable, and even added sounds. In the end I had created a presentation that I was proud of. Even above that, it was my choice to pick what exactly to say. I think I did a good job with what I chose, and even so early into my journey I felt that my learners would have benefitted from my creation.

     Course 4- Corporate Training and Motivational Development 

     This course was really the first one where I was able to create my own script.  I was given the information I needed, and had to turn it into a script that would appeal to my audience. I was proud of the overall video I had produced, but writing my script and actually including everything I needed was a big triumph for me. I knew then that I could get my point across and also be entertaining and relevant to my audience. 

     Course 5- Instructional Design and Evaluation

     This course was where I was really able to put my newly acquired skills to the test. I was able to use what I’d learned about Photoshop and Illustrator, as well as creating images, in order to create an infographic. I have never been more proud than I was when I completed this infographic. I presented it in a way that was visually appealing and also delivered the concept in a way the learner is able to understand. By far my favorite moment of the entire program.

     Course 6- Digital Media and Learning Applications

     Coding is by no means my area of expertise, so to be able to actually code a working interactive quiz was definitely my biggest triumph of this course. Yes, I followed along with a video for the initial creation, but I then took what I learned and made it so that the quiz was exactly what I needed it to be. As the wife of an IT guy, to be able to show him I’d done something he does every day was a proud moment for me.

     Course 7- Music and Audio for Instructional Design

The best moment for me throughout course seven was realizing the importance of audio. If something doesn’t sound good, then the learner isn’t going to want to listen. Once I learned exactly what compression and reverb do, I realized how much they were necessary. In a way, my biggest triumph was simply a learning opportunity.

     Course 8- Filmmaking Principles for Instructional Design

     It sounds simple, but honestly following something from start to finish was a big thing to me. In this course, I took a set of instructions and turned it into a video. I pre-planned everything, wrote a script, took test shots, and finally shot and produced a how-to video that I was quite content with. Being able to put audio skills I’d learned, and lighting/shot tips was a big thing. I was quite proud to have seen through the entire process and ended with something I loved.

     Course 9- Game Strategies and Motivation

     I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve always thought games like Dungeons and Dragons were dumb. I didn’t mind others playing them, but by no means was that my kind of thing. Oh how wrong I was. I may never actually play the game, but I learned not only how much fun roleplaying can be, but how important it can be. My biggest triumph of this course was letting go of my inhibitions and experiencing a new learning technique that I ended up putting to use in my own classroom. 

     Course 10- Learning Management Systems for Organization

     The biggest thing I took away from the LMS course was the fact that just because I tried something, doesn’t mean I have to stick with it. I used Edmodo for my LMS creation. I stuck with it throughout the course, but it made me realize there are much better alternatives. Some of my peers used other LMS sites, and they are ones I will look to should the opportunity arise again. I realized that just because I did something once, doesn’t mean I have to stick with it. There are sometimes multiple ways or opportunities for a goal to be met. My triumph was realizing that sometimes the process is never ending. It’s about learning from mistakes and growing.

     Course 11- Media Asset Creation

     Without a doubt, I think my major triumph in creating my assets was my final asset. This asset was one that wasn’t at all planned from the start. In fact, it’s one I realized I had in my head that didn’t match my words. I put everything I’d learned in the previous 10 courses to use, and created an interactive PDF activity/game that a learner can truly benefit from. I took things I’d learned about feedback and put them to use in order to better assist the learner. Though it seems simple, I truly believe I’ve created something that could have a real impact on learners that take my harassment/discrimination training course. 

     Course 12- Instructional Design and Technology Final Project 

     I’m not even sure if I’m meant to have a triumph for this final course, but I do. As I’ve thought back on all the course I’ve had the chance to reflect on how far I’ve come. I’ve learned things I never would have thought I’d know how to do. I’ve also learned more about myself and what I’m capable of. Sure, I knew them in my mind, but actually typing them out here and for this assignment have made them seem so real. My triumph for this course is truly understanding who I am and what I’m capable of. I look forward to wherever my journey may go from here.