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#Reading as a Coping Mechanism
theodoravanyar · 11 months
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Of Noodles and Notebooks
13,842 Days Alive 1 Cup Of Noodles Eaten I am still working on getting through Story Genius and re-hammering out the story for my novel, Midnight Calls. Continue reading Untitled
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nanyangjj · 3 months
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that's such a normal way of thinking honey ... no there's nothing wrong with your brain <3
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konigsblog · 2 months
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crazy, how the majority of my haters are either hypocrites, or are just straight up LYING. lmfao, i've written rape before and i apply appropriate warnings, but i've never ever written PEDOPHILIA. 😬
their username on tumblr is @asgardswinter, they have continuously mentioned me on their blog. it's literally creepy and clearly obsessive, lmfao, and lying about me writing pedophilia is real fucking weird considering they don't apply any further context or include any evidence to back up this claim...
i'd appreciate it if you reported their twitter account or blog for like harassment 😮‍💨
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princeparadiso · 6 months
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okay but did anyone here mention the fact that we discovered that q!Baghera built a tiny replica of her childhood room to house her mini-mes in under her castle and that she named said mini-me with the same ID pattern as her own
because that's a bit fucked up actually
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realbeefman · 7 months
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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toastchus · 6 months
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super self indulgent art🫶🏼
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cinnamonsikwate · 3 months
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"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White
#dungeon meshi#shuro#toshiro nakamoto#look you can hate him for other things but this is very clearly a case of cultures (& personalities influenced by these cultures) clashing#shuro is japanese/east asian-coded and laios is european white boy#i am not japanese but i also come from a collectivistic society#pakikisama is a filipino value both prized and abhorred#it relies heavily on being able to read social cues and prior knowledge of societal norms#shuro being from a different country/culture is important to his character#his repressed nature is meant to contrast with laios' open one like that's the point#they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms#shuro explicitly admits that he's jealous of laios being able to live life sincerely#anyway the point is they were operating on different expectations entirely and neither had healthy enough communication skills#to hash things out before they got too bad#re his attraction to falin i personally believe he unfortunately mpdg-ed her#she represented something new & different. a fresh drink of water for his parched repressed self#alas not meant to be#i'll be honest the way ryoko kui handles both fantasy & regular racism in dm is more miss than hit for me#i don't doubt that a lot of the shuro hate is based off of marcille's pov of him#marcille famously racist 😭#characters' racist views don't often get (too) challenged#practically everyone is casually racist at some point#anyway. again if you're gonna hate shuro at least hate him for being complicit in human trafficking & slavery#he couldn't help falling for the wrong woman goddamn 😭#calemonsito notes
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surreal-duck · 5 months
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tin soldier and a disastrous doll
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gauloiseblue · 1 month
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I'm Only Flesh and Blood
(König × Reader)
[Dead dove: do not eat | MDNI]
TW: rape, non-con, imprisonment, death, violence, overall dark theme
(I don't know why, but this song just resonates with the story, not because of the lyrics, but the way he sings it.)
You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You didn't realize there was a war on the horizon, before it all fell down upon the city.
Between the rumbles and the upstanding pillar, you coughed as the dust surrounded you.
You screamed for help, as the shattered walls trapped you in, leaving no space for you to move. You did it over and over again, until your throat scratched. Yet no one came to rescue, no one heard you scream.
When the night fell, you curled up your body, trying to find warmth in the harsh structures. There's no light that could reach your place, you only knew if it's daylight when the temperature rose up slightly, although it soon blurred as you lost track of time.
You were starving, your lips were cracked and split open. You thought you'd die like this, until you heard a heavy stomp of a boot.
There was a sound of a man shouting above you, and a heavy thud soon followed. You didn't have the energy to speak, as you watched a little light come through the rubbles. One by one, the wreckages were lifted, and you winced at the glaring light upon you.
There's a shout, and more shouts followed after in a language you didn't understand. You covered your eyes to see a soldier stretched his hand to you. Just like a fool, you reached up to him.
The event that unfolded between the rescue and the medical help was fuzzy in your memory. What you knew was, you woke up in a cold room, with men in uniform by your bed.
They asked you your name, and basic questions that you weakly answered. After they wrote it all down, you heard them mumble the word 'foreigner'.
"Where am I?" You asked them with a hoarse voice.
"Hospital." One of them said, before they both left the room.
Your brows furrowed, as you sensed something's off, but can't pinpoint what it was.
When the doctor declared you've made a full recovery, you were immediately brought to a different building. The man took you to an office, where a hunched figure in a mask sat at the desk.
He shooed your escort with a wave, and he left the room without a sound. Leaving you with the big man.
"What's your name?" He asked with a strange accent.
"(Name)." You responded.
"They said you're not from here." He stood up, and you witnessed the full glory of his height, "Visiting?"
You slowly nodded, nothing to add.
He shot you a sneer, as he walked closer to you, "You didn't know there was a conflict?"
"No," You lowered your head, "I thought it was safe."
You saw his polished boots as he stood in front of you, before he lifted up your chin so you'd face him.
"You're lucky you're inside the ruin, you know." He began to speak with malice slowly dripped out of his mouth, "Your kin were mostly dead or imprisoned. The women were raped, and the men were skinned alive. But you're still alive. You must be lucky."
The grip on your jaw became harder, and you whimpered, both from fear and the pain.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of you."
He let go of your face, and you immediately took a step back with your legs trembling. Your gaze was down, and you couldn't see the smile on his face. He walked past you, and you heard the door open, before a soldier took your hand and led you through the hallway.
In the other room, you met several girls with the same expression as yours—scared, confused, unsettled. You stood beside one of them, and watched as the soldier left.
The girl turned to you, asking your name.
"It's (Name)."
"Oh." She responded, "Where were you from?"
You told her the name of your hometown. "You?"
"I lived in the neighboring country." She smiled, "I'm Nina by the way, nice to meet you."
You returned the gesture.
"Do you know why we're here?" You asked.
"I'm not sure." She said as she rubbed her neck, "But I overheard the soldiers referring to us as flowers, I'm not sure what that means."
"Flowers?"
"Pretty flowers, in fact." She clarified, "One of them even said exotic ones. I just hoped it's not what I think it is."
You opened your mouth to reply, but the conversation was interrupted by the opening door.
There's a man striding from the door, and stopping on his track to see the people in the room. He scanned them one by one, before he turned to the soldier on his side.
"Which one is the Colonel's girl?"
The soldier looked at you, before leaning in to whisper.
"Hmm," He let out a displeased grunt, "Well, take her away then. There's no point in choosing her when she's off the list."
The soldier said something to him, but he dismissed him.
"I don't care, take her away."
He pressed his lips together before he nodded.
"Come." He said to you, and Nina immediately grabbed your hand.
"Don't go." Her eyes were wide as she told you, and you were alerted by the fear in her face. But you didn't have the time to process it, as the man ripped you away from her, dragging you out of the room.
"No—" You tried to protest, "Let me go."
He stayed silent, while his hand was planted on your arm.
"Where are you taking me?"
"None of your business."
"It's my business to know."
"Shut up."
The two of you arrived outside, where he quickly called a car to the lobby. As the car parked, he opened the rear door and shoved you inside.
The door was already closed by the time you shouted at him.
The whole ride was silent, as you bit your nail, trying to make sense of the situation. You tried to look out the window, figuring out where the driver's taking you. Though you found nothing, not a single clue.
It took perhaps 15 minutes before the car parked in front of a house—a big house, in fact. At the front door, you met another man in military uniform. He didn't say much as he let you in, before locking the door behind.
It took a minute for you to process what happened, before you knocked on the door, asking why you're here. Again, you received no answer.
Deciding it's not worth the time, you began to roam around to find a way out.
It's a two-story house, with a big dining hall and equally big kitchen. It has a study room, and a meeting room right beside it, the two rooms were connected by a door. They looked like they've been used recently.
Upstairs, you found the bedrooms, as well as the bathrooms. There's a door leading to a balcony, but it was locked.
When you came back to the first floor, you tried your luck in the study room. It was full of papers, and you skimmed over it. But it's all written in a language you didn't understand, so you decided to move to the drawers. But as you bent down to reach the handle, you heard an unmistakable voice coming from the door.
"Don't touch that."
You lifted your head to see the same man you met in the office. He was leaning on the frame with his arms folded, watching you intently behind the mask.
"Curious, aren't you?"
You looked down to avoid his stare, "I'm sorry."
He took the time to examine your face, before he spoke, "I was planning to take you home with me, but it seems like my lieutenant sent you away without my permission."
"What do you want?" You asked him through gritted teeth, "You're not planning to send me back home, aren't you?"
He smirked, "Clever thing." He said, "Do you really wish to know that?"
You kept your glare at him as he explained.
"You see, you're still officially missing, and it's not our job to report every single person we found." He walked toward the bookshelves with his hands on his back and his chin up, "So if we found someone, it's our right to keep them."
He pulled a file from the shelves, and threw it onto the table.
"It's yours." He told you, "Go on and read it."
You looked at him with disdain, before you flipped the file open. There, you found all of your private information—the copy of your and your parents' IDs, your bank accounts, and detailed information about your background. Although it's written in German, you knew it from the written dates and a few familiar names.
"Do you understand now?" He spoke in a low tone, "You have no choice."
He left the room as you froze on the spot, unable to bring yourself together. The soldier by the front door took you to a bedroom and locked the door behind as ordered. Leaving you alone, at a loss.
You stared blankly at the window, and took notice how it's screwed shut. Even if you were to break the glass, it's already lined with railing. The same applied to the small window above the toilet, and you saw no possible way out in the bathroom too.
Maybe you could open it with something, something that resembles a screwdriver.
When the sun had set, you heard the lock turned, before the soldier entered with a tray and a jug of water. He set them down on the nightstand, before leaving without a word once again.
You looked at the food, and you had no appetite despite your stomach growl. You didn't touch the plate, but filled up the glass with water. That was it, that's your dinner for that day
At night, you couldn't sleep. You could hear the clock ticking, reminding you that you're still here. Pretty much alive.
20 minutes past midnight—you knew it from the toll of the grandfather clock outside—you caught the sound of the door opening, then closing. It came from the room beside you, the master bedroom.
That night, he spared you from the dreadful ordeal of sleeping together. But your luck was running thin after the third day of your stay.
You were laying on your bed with your thoughts, before the door of your bedroom opened. Your blood ran cold, as you heard a heavy step entering the room, and went towards your place.
The blanket rustled, as the man slipped inside. He settled into the bed, before pulling you into his chest.
Your heart beat hard against your chest, and you began to feel yourself sweating. You knew Fortuna frowned at you when he slid his hand under your neck, pressing his fingers on your pulse.
"You're still awake, aren't you?"
You bit your lower lip, and slowed down your breathing. All was an useless attempt to calm you down.
"Don't worry, I won't touch you tonight."
You took a sharp breath as you caught the meaning of it. It made him chuckle, as he buried his face into your nape.
"But if you try something funny, I can't guarantee that to you."
Your body turned cold when the words left his mouth, to the point that you stayed still, petrified by the threat.
He did keep his promise, as he fell asleep right by your side. Perhaps if you're a bit braver, you could lift his hand and escape that night, but his words hung on your head, as if it's a guillotine that'd fall on you if you moved an inch.
You didn't sleep that night. Drowsiness only came to you after hearing the birds singing, signaling the first arrival of the sunray. And you were too tired to notice the way he stirred, as it went closer to his waking hour.
In the afternoon, you found yourself alone in bed, with the door locked, and the breakfast on the table.
You survived that night, but it didn't mean you'd make it on the other days.
Unfortunately, it came sooner than you prayed.
It was your fault, you were careless. You thought he wouldn't pay any mind to a missing cutlery, but he did.
At the dinner, he asked you to accompany him at the dining table, and you sat there, blissfully unaware of the impending torture.
As you chewed the tender steak, he announced his concern about the lack of butter knife in the dishwasher.
You stopped at your track, as your body tensed up. The meat stayed in your mouth, as your throat tightened up, closing your chance to swallow.
"Did you think I wouldn't notice?" He asked with a cold glare, "Did you think I'm stupid?"
You kept your gaze to the plate, as the alarm blared in your head.
"Answer me!" He slammed his fist on the table, and you flinched away in fear. The reaction caused you to choke, forcing you to cough out the meat into the napkin.
"I'm sorry." You whimpered, while gripping your hand so it would stop shaking. "I'm sorry."
For a moment, you thought the time had stopped for you. Until you heard the chair moved, and he stood by the table.
"Hands on the table." He retorted, and your body obeyed him without delay.
You jumped when he threw away your plate, sending it and the cutleries to the floor as it shattered upon the contact. You began to feel unsteady, as the panic was rising from your chest.
He stood behind you, and you trembled as you heard the sound of a zipper.
That was the day you found that he'd use sex as a punishment.
He made sure that it hurts, and left you bleeding, he'd render your legs useless by bruising your hip and insides, as he rammed his cock against your core. You screamed at him, begging him to stop, but he kept going until he ripped the orgasm out of you. By the time he finished, you're entirely spent, as you curled up on the floor.
In daze, you felt yourself being picked up, before laid down on the mattress. Leaving you wondering about it in the morning.
He was cruel, but he took you to the bedroom instead of leaving you. He was merciless, but he bothered to put a few medicines on your tray.
You didn't understand him, and you didn't like it one bit. You had a hunch that it couldn't be that simple—that he felt guilty, or he felt the need to take care of you.
To your disdain, he continued to do it for weeks. He helped you up, and gave you the medicines every morning. He kept it as a routine, until you could stand on your feet again.
While your body's recovered, the phantom pain still throbbed between your legs. Reminding you of the consequences for your misbehavior.
The memory of it kept you in line, as you unconsciously complied with his demands.
That was, until his demand became more outrageous.
It seemed that he was testing you—putting you through unnecessary trials of whether you would obey him or not. He'd put a choker on you. He'd ask you to get on your knees, and put your head on his lap. He'd tell you to sing, while his finger slipped inside your panties. He'd place you on his desk, and told you to spread your legs while he watched you pleasure yourself. He'd force you to watch an erotica without your pants on, so you'd leave a stain on your chair. He didn't ask for sex, but what he requested was way more improper, to the point that you felt dirtier after doing it.
And he seemed to be pleased by it, he delighted in your humiliation.
He also got off on your fear.
He'd play a cat and mouse game with you, and he'd scream threats that'd set you running. He knew you're scared of him, and he used it to his advantage. And when he caught you, you'd be forced on your knees as he shoved his cock into your mouth.
You're aware that there'd be an escalation from the moment he declared he'd take care of you, but you weren't prepared for the level of depravity he possessed.
The way he'd threaten you with sex, and soothe you with aftercare, it was too much.
One day, you sobbed as you begged him to end it all, with your tears running down your face. But he just sneered as he rubbed his member against your clit, forcing you to watch as your body trembled when you came for the fifth time.
There were times when it's all quiet, when he was wrapped up in his work. Those were the times where you could gather your thoughts, and planned for a possible escape.
You knew about his gun collections in the study room, you just needed the bullet. You couldn't really escape through the front door, except when it's night. So you began to devise a plan.
In the back of your mind, your rationality told you it's impossible; that even if you killed him, his affiliates would catch you so easily. You have nowhere to go. But you shoved it back into the water, as your feeling thrashed inside your chest. You need to go. You need to get away from him.
Fortunately—and unfortunately—you found out the answer to your plan.
He hosted a house party with all of the soldiers. Some of them were recruits, and some of them looked like they're on the same level as him, judging by the presence of a pretty partner on their side.
You were given the role of a quiet escort, and you were allowed to leave his side only when he told you so. You wrapped your hand around his arm, as he greeted his guests.
The last friend of his came a little later, and your eyes were widened as you saw a familiar face. It was Nina.
She looked thinner compared to the last time you saw her. Her eyes were hollow, and her face was pale, with the exclusion of the red mark on her cheek.
You had the chance to talk to her when they all sat at the dining table. While the men were talking over brunch, you made your way to her and stood beside her.
She was quiet, and you doubted that she heard you, but it only lasted for a moment before she muttered out I'm fine.
"He slapped me this morning because I forgot to brew his coffee." Her lips trembled as she spoke, "But he told me to prepare everything for the party last night, of course I'd forget it."
Your brows furrowed with sympathy, as she continued her snivel, "I should've felt grateful that he only slapped me. The other girls—the other girls got it worse. But I—everything I did was wrong in his eyes. I don't—I'm so sick of it."
She quietly sobbed, and you took the initiative to pull her aside, guiding her to the restroom.
In there, you got the full length of her story.
The man who took him treated her as a housemaid, but never addressed her as such. He'd shout at her constantly, and he'd shove her face against the counter, forcing her to look at the little dust spot she missed. At night, he'd force himself upon her, with little to no preparation. And when she tried to escape one time, he brought home the head of her mother. The only family she had left.
You didn't know what to feel, but you could see that she got it worse than anyone.
You tried to soothe her, but you knew the wound was larger than you could stitch. It could never be healed.
As you both returned to the dining room, you found the table empty, as the men had already moved to his study room.
And your heart triumphed when you saw the key in his hand, as he opened the locked drawer to fetch something vital for your escape.
The bullets.
You watched him as he slipped them one by one into the old revolver. You burned the image of it in your head—the silver, big barreled revolver.
He then invited everyone in the room to walk with him, with the intent of showing a demonstration.
"This thing is a beauty, a wild horse," He remarked as he exhibited the firearm, "You need to learn to tame it before you ride it, or she'll kick you off the mount."
The men laughed, as some of them added an equally filthy joke. He chuckled before turning his body and stretching his arm to aim at the target.
There was an apple on the fence, on the far side of the garden. And the red fruit stood still, before it exploded as his gun went off with a bang.
The men cheered, applauding the magnificent show that you couldn't understand. Why did they praise it? Wasn't a gun supposed to do that?
You didn't have the time to ruminate, as you heard your friend whisper under her breath.
"He loves you."
The chatter from the men almost drowned her voice entirely, that you had to double-check your hearing.
"What?" You asked her.
She turned her face towards you, and a tear rolled down on her cheek. The sight of her stunned you, as she reached to touch your cheek.
"He never took his eyes off you." She muttered as she leaned closer to you. "I'm sorry."
For a moment, you thought you felt her lips brush against yours, as she pulled you into a kiss. And you almost taste the wine in her tongue, until a sharp shrill flew past you with an incredible speed. Before you knew it, you were on the ground, with her body slumped against you.
You sat there, watching the open side of her head as it dripped dark fluid into your dress. It was warm, and slowly seeped through the fabric, spilling over your thighs.
You didn't know who was screaming.
You couldn't remember how long exactly before they removed her body from you. The party must be over since the men took you to your room, leaving you alone as you sank into your chair. Your hands couldn't stop shaking, as you saw them stained with red.
What happened to your dress? It was supposed to be white, wasn't it?
You stared at your knees, as the image of her head was still fresh in your mind. You felt your vision narrowed, as if you watched yourself through the third eye. You weren't there, you were still on the ground, with your friend's head on your lap.
The door was opened, but you didn't notice it. You didn't notice any presence, before a hand softly landed on your shoulder.
You jumped out from your chair, almost shouted for the second time, if not for his embrace.
It caught you off guard, and you began to sob against his chest. You couldn't help it, it was the only comfort you had, even though you knew that he had removed every other hand just so you'd choose him.
"Don't be sorry." He gently lulled you, "She brought it upon herself."
He removed the bloodied dress from you, before turning away to fetch a wet towel. You didn't have the energy to fight him, moreover to lift your finger. So you let him clean the blood off your face, and off your body.
You didn't resist when he put the fresh clothes on you, and he guided you to the bed, letting your head fall onto the pillow. He didn't do much and left the room without a word.
On the bed, you let your mind wander to your friend—her hollow stare, the gaping wound in her heart, you should've known it. There's a quiet anger in you, as well as a deep sense of loss. She used you as a means to end her pain, but she had no other choice. She had nothing left.
For days, you asked yourself if it's the only way for her, or if you could help her, reach out to her just a little further. But what came back was an echo, since she was already an empty shell long before you could help her.
You were angry at yourself, angry at him, angry at the man who took her. Yet you couldn't do anything about it, you were powerless.
He was smart enough not to bother you, since you'd erupt at any given moment. But he'd snap at you if you crossed the line, and you'd end up with tears, as you bit your lips shut.
You don't know what to do with this anger, you still don't know the answer to this day.
While you have the plan ready, you haven't chosen the execution date. You need to be close enough to him to take the key, but you're still repulsed by him.
A week has passed by, and you find the courage to close the distance between you and him. You begin to join him for dinner, and keep him company in his study room.
That's when you start to see the crack.
There's a time gap where you can carry out the plan, at least the first plan. When he comes home, he usually leaves his things unattended at dinner time. You would have the freedom to roam, and you could sneak into his room for a short time. You once made sure which pocket that had the key in, and did a double-take a few days later. When you're certain of it, you move to the gun collections. You had memorized the revolver, so it didn't take long before you found it.
With that in mind, you're ready at any time.
You maintain a good facade in front of him, as you wait for the moment to strike.
The chance comes to you one night, when he decides to postpone the dinner. He has to talk with someone outside, and leaves his things on the dining table.
The window of time will be short, since the time it takes for him to finish will be uncertain. But you take it nevertheless.
You don't waste any time as you pull the key from his vest's pocket, and march toward the study room.
Adrenaline rushes through your body, and you're shaking as you take the revolver off the padded wall. You then turn your heel as you approach the desk, sliding the key with difficulties, before unlocking the drawer.
Alas, you run out of time.
You hear the front door close, and a heavy step echoes through the house. You hold your breath as you slide the cylinder release, and take a few bullets in your hand.
"Mäuse?" Your panic rises as you hear his call, with trembling hands, you try to push the bullets into the cylinder. Alas, one of them falls to the floor.
The noise must've alerted him, as the sound of his step turns into a heavy bolt.
You only manage to put two bullets in, before slapping the cylinder shut and aim at the door, right at the same time as his arrival.
He stops in his tracks when he sees you inside, with the gun in your hands.
"Don't come any closer!" You shouted a warning at him, though you couldn't hide the quiver in your voice.
He stands by the door, with his face unreadable, as it hides behind the mask. You pull the hammer, while your finger rests on the trigger. You're ready to shoot, he knows it from your stance.
He sighs, shaking his head in disapproval, "I gave you time, and this is how you repay me?"
"Don't—don't move." You tried to warn him once again, "I'll shoot if you move."
"Can you even shoot me with those hands?" He leered at you, taunting you with his words, "You won't hit any target if you keep shaking."
He catches you off guard as he storms the room, forcing you to pull the trigger.
The bullet hit his shoulder, and he shouts in pain. The shot you released enrages him, as he pulls a sledgehammer from his side.
You don't have the time to aim as you shoot the second bullet, and it flies past him, leaving him unharmed.
A high-pitched scream escapes your mouth as the hammer slams onto the desk, causing the wood to crack upon impact.
The revolver quickly dropped as you fled to the connecting door, escaping the place through the next room.
You run towards the front door, trying to push the handle, but it won't budge. You hear him coming, and jump to the side, narrowly escaping his hammer of rage as it punches through the door, sending the broken pieces everywhere.
"YOU COME BACK HERE!" His voice boomed through the house, and you could almost feel the floor shaking.
You dash to upstairs, and push your bedroom door open, before locking it just in time.
Still, it can't protect you from him.
You watch in horror as the door shakes and fills the room with the cracking sounds, before it flies open by force.
And there he is, standing at your door like a nightmare.
You can't do anything except running away from him, running to the corner where you'll certainly meet your demise.
And you lift your arms and brace for the impact. You can see the hammer coming to you from the corner of your eye, and you cry out when it strikes.
It's all silence, before a quiet sob falls from your mouth.
His hammer crashed on the wall, just an inch away from your head, showering you with dust and smashed fragments.
Your body slides down to the floor, as your legs give up. You continue to weep, while he lifts up the hammer, and tosses it to the ground.
"Are you done?" He retorted harshly, and you shrunk away from him.
He yanks your hand away, and throws you to the floor. You yelp when he sits on top of you, pushing your face down to the ground.
"Should I treat you badly so you'd learn to appreciate what I did for you?"
"You took my freedom away." You hissed through your tears, "You kept me in here so you could play me like a toy."
"But I took care of you, didn't I?" He growled, "I never asked you to clean the house, you didn't even have to cook for yourself. What more could you ask for?"
You flinch at his tone. You've seen him angry a few times, but never this angry.
"Do you want a toy of your own?" He asked, voice dripping with bitterness. Your eyes snap open, as the phantom pain throbs in your hip. "I can certainly give you one."
"No…" Your lips quivered as he slipped his fingers under your clothes, "No, no! Stop!"
You tried to kick him away, do anything to get away from this monstrous man.
"Get away from me!" You screamed at him, but he ignored you as he ripped your clothes off. "Please! I'm sorry—"
"It's too late for that, don't you think?" He laughed when you tried to crawl away, while he undid his belt.
You cry out when you feel the head of his cock poking against your core, before he slowly pushes it inside.
It was excruciating, as he stretched you open with a force. He groans as your walls clamp around his member, as if repelling him from entering.
He snakes his arm around your shoulders, as he pulls you close until his chest is flush against your back. A bitter tang of iron hits your nose, reminding you of your own mistake. He hisses when you grab him on the place near the wound.
"Don't think you can escape me, (Name)." He snaps his hip against you, and you throw your head back, eyes tightly shut. "Not even in your death."
You scream when he buries himself completely, stuffing himself to the hilt, until you feel yourself full.
The pain comes back to you, as you feel your core burning. He makes it worse by feeding it frictions, as he begins to pump himself in and out. He tosses his mask aside, before he marks you with his bites. He sinks his teeth onto your neck and shoulder, before he lifts you by your chin, and crashes his lips against yours.
It was bitter, full of teeth. His kiss tasted like rage, and the jealousy he held since your friend stole it from him.
You cough from the lack of air, and fall down on the floor. The mixed saliva in your mouth drips down to your chin, and he runs his thumb to wipe it off.
He bends down to kiss you once again, and you whimper when you find yourself growing wetter against your will. The resistance from your walls becomes lesser, and he can easily slide his member in.
"You know, Mäuse," He mused as his hips moved like a piston, "I'm only flesh and blood, but I can be a good father."
He keeps his arm around your body, as you struggle against him.
"I can buy you a big house, taking care of our little ones." He covers your mouth when you begin to voice your protests, "As long as you're with me."
Your hand starts to flail around, trying to hit his wound, but it's out of your reach.
"I'll make you my wife, and we'll live together as a couple." He said with a smile, but through your eyes, it was a madman's grin. "You just have to be good, and I'll treat you as such."
His cock brushes against the spot that made your moan, and he keeps hitting it until your back arches, as you turn limp in his arms.
He soon follows after you, as his cum spills into your womb, filling you up to the brim. You gasp when his arms tighten around you, as his cock twitches inside your core. A sense of dread hits you as you feel his cock doesn't get any softer.
"I think you'll make a great mother." You heard him murmur, before he pressed his lips against your temple.
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mamawasatesttube · 2 months
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timcassie is so compelling to me. they were not into each other even a little bit. it was such a messy coping mechanism fuelled entirely by grief. they were making out with each other because they were both substituting each other for kon. cassie was far more aware she was doing this than tim was. unironically, dating a girl here is one of the gayest things tim has done
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blueish-bird · 4 months
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Chainsaw Man is about self-destruction. It’s about self-destruction as a means of reclaiming your autonomy in an environment where you are consistently denied it. Chainsaw Man is about denial of autonomy. Chainsaw Man is about how, when you are in an environment where you are denied your own autonomy, you learn to view interpersonal relationships as interactions you have no control over unless you find a means of controlling the other members of that relationship — whether that be through methods of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Chainsaw Man is about how denial of autonomy is framed as love. Chainsaw Man is about how love that denies autonomy is violence.
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theodoravanyar · 3 months
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Of Books and Bratwurst
14,087 Days Alive 2 German-Style Brats Eaten for Dinner 1 Book Finished So Far This Year I finished reading “Bring Hygge To Your Life” today. And by finished reading I mean I DNF’ed it at chapter six for being a not-good book. Continue reading Untitled
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shsl-heck · 8 months
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Thinking about the Chevalier interlude, specifically the inaugural team of Wards. Like in universe, they sell it to this first group of kids (and presumably the rest of the world) as a place for second chances, to find friends and mentors who understand what youre going through, where you can learn to use your powers safely while making good memories. The kids broadly seem to believe in these noble intentions of course, but what really gets me is that I've seen readers buy into it!
"Oh, it's such a tragedy that the Wards program became this awful thing that traumatizes kids even more, and expects them to die for the sake of civilians! It's fallen so short of what it was originally supposed to be!"
No it has not??? The fact that the triumvirate and Hero are saying it has this noble goal doesn't make it true. The Wards was pretty clearly always a way to increase the amount of bodies the prt could throw at threats, and we know this because it was started by the fucking Triumvirate as a part of the Protectorate! Alexandria literally came up with the idea of the Protectorate to legitimize the power of capes, and have a consistent source of heroes Cauldron could throw at problems. That is the whole reason for the PRT/Protectorate existing. So when we have this group of children brought in a subsidiary, there are 2 real options.
1). Cauldron and Alexandria decided they would be really niceys and created this program with no intentions other than helping these kids out.
Or 2). As things got worse, they realized the Protectorate didn't have enough manpower to do what they needed, and so they expanded it to include children (the demographic most prone to triggering). That way, they greatly increase the number of capes who they can send to fight and die as needed, and the ones who do survive their tenure in the Wards will be better trained when it comes time to join the actual Protectorate.
At the risk of sounding conceited, I think the second one is far more likely based on everything we know about Cauldron. Maybe it was originally a little nobler, and the goal was just to create more well trained heroes and cut back on young villains, but there's no way Alexandria, Doc Mom, and Contessa didn't factor in the ability to sacrifice the kid heroes if it improved their chances of success. That was absolutely a perk at minimum.
That's the real tragedy of the inaugural Wards. The kids were lured in with promises of safety, comraderie, and second chances like lambs to the slaughter. All the while, Alexandria and Cauldron knew that many (if not most) of these children would suffer abuse by the prt (like in the case of Reed), die, or face a fate worse than death like poor Mouse Protector. It's horrifying! The idea that they didn't know the danger these kids would be in is literally inconceivable. Especially when one of you is also the head of the prt! They knew, and they didn't care. It improved their chances at the end of the world, and so they did it no matter the cost.
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svnflowermoon · 7 months
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sad? reread heartstopper. happy? reread heartstopper. lonely? reread heartstopper. bored? reread heartstopper.
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mllekurtz · 1 year
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i'm just. taking a break from work and thinking about the fact that it's been almost two years since the c2 finale and that campaign still has me in a chokehold. i still think about the wizards all the time, which shouldn't surprise anyone but it's still remarkable. just taking a little moment to be in my feelings about them on main, nothing to see here
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ryuki-draws · 1 year
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Anyone had one of those animal shaped flash drives?
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