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#Ray Molina is just so important to me y’all
nottheleastbrave · 1 year
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Okay I realize we are all (rightfully) focusing on canon Juke but also: RAY MOLINA OFFICIALLY GETS TO ADOPT MEET THE BOYS! BONUS SONS FOR RAY MOLINA!!!!!!!!!
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writerownstory · 2 years
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hold my hand and I’ll squeeze it back
part 1/? of what could maybe be considered a juke angst fic? I suppose that’s up to interpretation.
slight warning for mention of character death/depictions of depression/grief. i don’t even know if it’s necessary but everyone’s different so just thought I’d include it :)
heavily inspired by Charlie’s movie Love You Anyway which y’all should watch if you haven’t already - though just as another warning, that deals with depression/self harm and some other heavier topics so if depictions like that upset you, definitely do your research and take care of yourselves !! <333
~
Rose Molina passed away over Christmas break during Julie’s freshman year of college.
Despite feeling terribly overwhelmed, Julie returned for her second semester, basically as normal. If it were up to her, she would’ve put school on pause for a while. But in one of the last conversations she had with her mom, Rose made Julie promise to go back and continue pursuing her dreams. Dr. Turner had also thought it would do Julie some good to get back into a routine—one that didn’t include routinely hiding away under the covers and only going to the bathroom down the hall and back again.
So Julie went back with the encouragement of her father and maybe some well intentioned, though poorly executed pressure from her aunt. She’d finally survived the first 8 weeks of the semester (if surviving meant sitting out of all of her music courses with pitied looks from her professors and just barely passing in her general education classes) and was ready for spring break.
All she wanted to do was go home, put on her comfiest clothes and crawl into bed for the next two weeks. Though she knew if tía Victoria was around she would definitely have something to say about it and the mere thought of worrying Dad or Carlos just exhausted her. To top it all off, her best friend Luke, who had been her rock and the only reason she made it through her mom’s funeral in one piece, was off touring with his band the exact same time she was home from school on break. So it wasn’t as though her spring break would be any kind of reprieve, but she tried to look forward to it nonetheless. At least she’d be home with her family right?
Julie had just walked through the front door, dropping her luggage near the bottom of the stairs as her dad came in to greet her.
“Mija, you’re home!!” He gathered her in a hug that she quickly returned. “I’m so glad to see you.”
“I’m happy to see you too, papí,” she said, giving him her best attempt at a genuine smile. Her dad was one of the people closest to her so it wasn’t a lie. Being anywhere with him made Julie feel safe.
His eyes lit up as if he had only just remembered something. “Stay right there. I have something for you.”
“Have something for me?” she asked even as her dad retreated back toward the kitchen. “Is it some sort of holiday I’m forgetting??” It wouldn’t surprise Julie if she’d forgotten some important date—she’d been forgetting a lot of things these days—but even as she wracked her brain she couldn’t come up with any reason her dad could be giving her a gift.
Ray came back into the living room with his phone in hand, positioned to record with the cheesiest smile on his face. “So mija, what are your plans for your spring break?”
Julie’s brow furrowed in confusion. She eyed the camera before looking up at her dad. “I don’t know…sleep? Watch Carlos play video games? More sleep?”
“Seems awful boring, don’t ya think, boss?”
Julie visibly perked up at the familiar voice coming from behind her dad. Her eyes searched the room before they fell on Luke as he appeared into the door way to the kitchen. “No way!!!” she screamed, immediately sprinting toward her best friend.
Luke opened his arms automatically and easily caught Julie as she jumped into them, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. He spun her around, his laughter filling her ears.
She buried her face into his shoulder, allowing herself to take in the familiar feeling of her favorite person in the world. “Aren’t you supposed to be on tour with Sunset Curve?!” she asked once she finally pulled away from the hug. Julie slowly set her feet back on the floor, but didn’t let him get too far.
“Aw, they can get along without me for a few days. I had to come see my best friend,” Luke said, his smile brightening if that were even possible.
As she took in the sight of him for the first time in a while, Julie noticed that not much had changed about Luke, thankfully, except that his hair had now grown just long enough to brush his shoulders.
“A few days? You mean you’re—“
“Gonna hang out with you nonstop until you get so sick of me you’ll be sending me back off on tour in no time? Yep, exactly.”
Julie looked at her dad, as if suddenly remembering he was still in the room. “You knew about this???”
“It was all Luke’s idea,” Ray said, still recording with his phone. “Who am I to say no to a good old fashioned surprise?”
And it was the best surprise Julie could’ve hoped for. Luke had already dropped his stuff in the guest room so he helped Julie get her stuff upstairs and convinced her to let him take her out for ice cream.
As they sat at the outdoor tables along the boardwalk eating their ice cream, Luke finally asked the question she dreaded the most. “So how are things at school?”
Julie felt her demeanor literally wilt as she looked down at her ice cream that she’d mostly been picking at. “Things are okay. They’re… fine.”
Luke glanced over his shoulder before he ducked under the table, looking around the boardwalk in search of something.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m looking for whatever other person you must be talking to because it can’t be me,” he said giving her a look. “Jules, come on. It’s just me. Talk to me.”
Julie had always been best friends with Luke, even before her mom ever got sick. She trusted him (and Flynn) with just about anything. He somehow made everything seem manageable and less overwhelming than it really was. Luke had always been someone who she felt she could be her true self around. She didn’t need to filter herself in order for him to accept her. “I got excused from all my music classes this semester, which is what I wanted. But now everyone looks at me like I’m going to snap.” She glanced up at him to gauge his reaction before continuing, “I know I’ll have to move on eventually but right now, everything just feels… wrong.”
“Did you tell your dad about this?”
“You know I can’t,” Julie told him. “He’s already worried about me. If I tell him, he’ll want to bring me home and I’ll be back to talking to Dr. Turner three days a week.”
Luke leaned forward despite them table between them. “He cares about you, Julie. Maybe coming home for a little while isn’t such a bad idea.” His eyes shone with complete sincerity like they always had whenever they talked. Luke was a happy person, always hyping up his friends and reminding them how great they were. But he was never dishonest, especially not with her. “There’s nothing wrong with finishing school later if it means taking care of you now.”
“But I promised my mom I would go back,” she said, feeling tears in her eyes already.
“You will,” he said firmly. “If your mom saw how much you were struggling—“
“If she could see how much I was struggling, I wouldn’t be in this mess!” she snapped, getting up to throw her ice cream in the trash with a bit more force than necessary. Julie turned to storm away, but someone took her arm from behind.
“Let me go, Luke.” She tried to yank her arm back but he wasn’t budging. “I said let go!” Julie turned to push him off, but he easily pulled her into his chest. She feebly tried to free herself, but as he wrapped one arm around her back and his other hand came up to cradle her head to his chest, she gave in.
“I’m sorry Jules,” he whispered in her ear, likely feeling her tears soak his shirt. “I’m so sorry.”
(read part two here.)
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Just wanna tell y’all... Julie and the Phantoms is freaking dope (SPOILERS AND LONG POST)
And here’s my thoughts and a few things I’m hoping for S2 (since they gotta, amirite?)
The whole Julie can touch the phantoms thing in the last episode better be legit and not change, which means I can more confidently and more peacefully ship Julie with Luke, since the fact that he’s a ghost and therefore doesn’t exist on the mortal plain really puts a wrench in my plans to squee over them...
this also opens up the potential that they’re gonna bend the rules of the universe even more and have the lads basically come back to life? Idk if that’s what they’re gonna do but if they have the goddamn nerve to make a series where you are basically COMPELLED to ship a “lifer” and a ghost boy, then DONT send them to the afterlife straight away, AND THEN ALLOW THE LIFER TO BE ABLE TO PHYSICALLY TOUCH THE GHOST BOI, then they better hit that reverse Uno and make these boyos alive again!!
I was goddamn waiting for their hands to magically connect at some point bc of their intense chemistry and connection AND THEN THEY WENT THE EXTRA MILE AND FRIGGEN HAD THEM HUG WITH ESSENTIALLY NO REACTION FROM ANYONE?!?! I just about died bc hoo boi when they were singing they were literally:
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The goddamn INTIMACY (he really just couldnt help himself at the end there and swooped in before he disappeared to sing in perfect harmony while gazing romantically into each other’s eyes)
Like ok Julie “gotta stop making eye contact with him during performances bc I can’t be falling for a ghost boi but also I’m just naturally drawn to him” Molina and Luke “yeah ok I have chemistry with everyone I sing with but it also makes me sad when Julie isn’t singing with me and sharing the mic and looking directly into my eyes” Phantom!!!
“It sure is interesting, this little relationship we have” or whatever tf the line was idk it was fuckign CUTE
That said I would also not be opposed to my lil bi boi Reggie and Luke! (he’s not totally straight, i was reading this correct bc we got that scene where Luke serenaded the crap outta him!) and Julie and Flynn (bc Julie also serenaded the crap outta her)
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Uh obvi for Willie and Alex to kiss. They hugged, and I am goddamn delighted we have a canon gay ship to sail but uh... maybe some handholding and a build up to a cute ass kiss... Boo Boo I wasn’t expecting you to be here but I am GLAD
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Reggie’s one sided friendship with Ray (Julie’s dad) is my everything and I hope they one day get to meet bc I want my boi to be happy
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The deal with Trevor/Bobby?? Whatever he does will definitely impact Carrie’s relationship with Julie... though I do like that Carrie isn’t completely one dimensional... we see hints of something more about her here and there... the convo about how she earned her spot in the music program as opposed to a general “I’m better than Julie” situation... and she did seem to recognise how much Julie had changed in taking that stage alone and had overcome at least her some of her confidence issues... idk if I’m down with the “Dirty Candy” or whatever her name is...
I see the actor who plays Nick is gonna have more to his character than kinda cute crush that missed his chance bc Julie fell for a ghost boi... so that’s nice
Cheyenne Jackson did not hold back as always and I appreciate him for it... his performances were spectacular... though I do wish we’d seen the moment where the bois broke free but the more important climactic moment was them showing up for Julie
I didn’t pay attention in the first couple eps bc I had uni work to do and my sis was the one who started watching so idk what the brother and the tia’s deals are but I do hope to see more fun stuff from them!
That scene. Unsaid Emily. Tears. Heartbreak. I was not ready. Charlie Gillespie’s acting was goddamn on point and there is no shortage of feels in this show that deals with the loss of loved ones, dreams and regrets so friggen WELL
I lost my train of thought but yeah! GO WATCH JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS. ITS FREAKING FUN THE MUSIC IS GREAT, GOT A WOC LEAD AND WOC BEST FRIEND, A (at least half?) HISPANIC/LATINO MAIN FAMILY, ONE OF THE MALE LEADS IS CANONICALLY GAY AND HAS A MALE LOVE INTEREST AND ITS NOT HIS PRIMARY DEFINING FEATURE BC THE DUDE HAS EPIC SKATER BOI HAIR (which helps bc he’s into a skater boi)... A POTENTIALLY BI OTHER MALE LEAD (purely my own speculation based on one scene in particular - y’all know the one) AND THE OTHER ONE IS YOUR TYPICAL SOFT BOI HOTTIE WITH EYES FULL OF HEARTBREAK! But like they all look friggen good... the dad too. Idk where he’s from but I feel like I know him from somewhere he is a fine looking pops...
Anyway that’s enough now. Go watch it and get us a season 2!!!
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Twin Flames - A JATP Soulmate fic (Chapter 1)
A/N Its 1.30 AM right now but i am so pumped for this. This fic is based off of Soulmates on Amazon Prime. Because of self isolation, I didnt have anything to do yesterday so I binged it and came up with this idea. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this fic! There will be a ton of ships, but i’m not gonna tell y’all which ones because technically that would be a spoiler. 
If you want to be on the taglist please DM me or send me an ask, and I’ll add you to it!
word count :1036
It had always been so simple with Alex and Luke, Effortless.
Didn’t seem like it was that way anymore.
The Soulmate Test seemed to be the only thing kids at school were talking about these days. With a lot of them recently 18, or turning 18 soon, all anyone could think about was finding their soulmate.
But Luke and Alex were sure they were each other’s. Until the fight.
Alex knew Luke was passionate about his music, but he didn’t think it was worth giving up his family over. Family was important. After Alex had been shunned by his, he didn’t want Luke to lose that connect as well.
But Luke didn’t understand. “How could you take their side?! I thought you were on my team!”
The whole thing exploded in their faces.
And the next morning, when Alex heard the girls talking about the Test, He’d decided to take it.  Either it’d confirm what he thought he knew, or tell him who was meant for him.
Alex sat at Soulconnex’s office, bouncing his leg and fidgeting with his hands while he waited. The whole place was way too white and polished. It reminded Alex of a hospital. He hated it. Memories of his various trips to the Emergency Room flooded his mind – syringes filled with his blood and the unbearable smell of disinfectant. He HATED it.
He almost considered getting up and walking out just before a woman holding a clipboard walked out and called his name. “Alexander Mercer?” He almost cringed, The only people who called him Alexander was his family, either lovingly or threateningly. Either way, it made him uncomfortable up to the point that the boys never used his full name anymore – not even jokingly.
His heart pounded in his chest as he followed the woman into a room with a strange machine, It was too late to back out now.
~
Night of prom. A day Julie had been waiting for all her life. Before she started high school, her mom would constantly tell her stories about the proms that she attended with Ray. She’d always thought her mom would be getting her ready for prom, but instead Rose Molina had been stripped from the world too soon.
Julie perked up at the sound of the doorbell. Her date was here. Julie was all smiles as she walked out of her room, posing at the top of the stairs for her dad and his camera. Ray was all smiles too. “You look beautiful, mija, Now go. Don’t keep that boy waiting.”
Julie only giggled at his words, walking towards the door in her purple gown. She opened the door, smiling at the neat head of blonde hair that was waiting outside. “Nick! Hey.” She greeted him, with a smile and a hug.
“Hey, Molina.” Nick was dressed in a tux, one of his dad’s fedora’s positioned neatly on his head. He held out a box for her – a dahlia corsage. Everyone knew dahlias were her mom’s favorite. They meant a lot to her.
He helped her slip it onto her wrist, greeted her dad and then helped her into the limo. And then they were off to have their perfect night.
~
Caleb Covington was not a scientist. He was a business man, who’d also managed to turn the soul particle into a very profitable business. All he had to do was be patient, and let the scientists do their jobs.
He went out on talk shows, bragging about the Test and what it could do for people. He promoted both himself and the test, sugar coating the possible problems it could cause. What you gained by taking the test was far more than what you lost.
Caleb was sat down with his son at the long conference table in the Soulconnex offices. He had a proposition for young William.
Willie was leaning back in the rotating leather chair, feet on the glass table. His sitting this way annoyed his dad to no extent, and he knew this. It was half the reason he was doing it in the first place.
“William.” Caleb sounded irked as he cleared his throat. “Feet off the table, please. Are you aware of why I called you here?”
Willie paused, as though debating on how to answer that. “Did the bank call? Their statue didn’t even get /scratched/, dad. Destruction of property my ass.” He said, wrinkling his nose in distaste.
Caleb quirked a dark eyebrow, sighing. He’d have to deal with the bank and their property later. “I want you to take the Test, William. I think it would do you some good.”
Willie mulled over his father’s words for a minute, before scoffing. “Its not going to ‘sober me down’. If anything, it’ll just give me someone to try to impress. It would make me even more wild.”
His dad sighed, putting his hands on his hips like the overdramatic gay he is. “I’m not expecting you to sober down. I just think it’d be good for business. Plus, more money means I can finally get you that new skateboard that you wanted.” Willie hated the look in his eyes. He knew that offer was irresistible. How was he supposed to refuse?
“…okay. I’ll do it. But on my own time. You get me the skateboard today. I take the Test tomorrow.” Willie said, folding his arms. His dad looked proud. “You inherited my negotiation skills, I see. You have a deal.”
~
Bobby and Carrie Wilson had taken the test a few months ago. It had not been open to the public yet, but it was just one of the many perks of having a celebrity for a dad. Carrie checked her phone every single day, hoping she’ll find a notification that said “Soulmate Found!” but every day, she only woke up to be disappointed.
Bobby did check from time to time but he managed to keep the Test off of his mind most of the time. Between band practice, work and his volunteering, he barely had time to think about it. Besides, his soulmate would meet him when it was time.
Until then, he could wait
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*They* Are My *Crocs*
I’ve written another fic!! This one was loosely inspired by this post from @willex-n-waffles bc I told her I would write smth based off of it and then I Didn’t. And then I wanted to post it on her birthday bc I can and that also didn’t go well so uh happy late birthday Lizzie!! Sorry this is so off the post that you originally made agsjdjdkm
Fun fact: I wrote like,,, 3/4 of this this weekend when I should’ve been writing my NAD+ theory speech so uh. hopefully y’all like it and it was worth it lmaoooo
Warnings: none except my bad jokes and quite a bit of mild swearing
Read it on ao3!!
Julie dragged her hand over her face, internally screaming. She loved her boys, she really did. But sometimes, their collective chaos and obvious lack of a braincell was just a lot. She could think of a dozen different situations like that in just the past two weeks, but today was just something else.
At the moment, she was trying to do her calculus work in class - emphasis on trying. Her idiot ghost kinda-boyfriend - some might call him a himbo, and she fully agreed - was sitting on the edge of her classmate’s desk, harassing her nonstop. Usually, she ignored him and that only provided a few awkward situations, but calculus required focus. Detangling all the numbers and letters - and really, that amount of letters had no right to be in math - was hard, himbo ghost kinda-boyfriend to ignore or no.
“So then,” Luke continued his rambling, and he was either oblivious to her pain or just didn't care, “Alex literally looked at me straight in the eyes - hah, a word no one’s ever used to describe him—” She bit her lip to keep herself from laughing. That would just encourage him. “—and said, ‘Being a jerk is so 90’s, Luke. Get woke, Luke.’”
That one got her a bit, she admitted, and she had to catch her laugh in a little scoff. Alex is really onto something, she thought.
“And then he turned to Reggie and said, ‘My ghost friend taught me that,’ like he had actually moved at all and I couldn’t hear him.”
She kept working on her problem, doing her best to keep ignoring him. It wasn’t like she needed to look at Luke to know that he had one of his patented pouts on his face.
Suddenly, he pushed himself off the desk he was sitting on, swinging his legs up and through her desk, until half his feet poked through her desk before swinging back down. The instinct to jerk backwards was strong, but the fear of being noticed by any of the other (living) people in the room was stronger. Plus, she knew that Luke would never hurt her on purpose. She cared about him enough to know that.
“ Julieeee,” He whined in that voice that made her forget that he was actually 17 and not five, “why don’t you talk to meee?”
“Because I am in class, Lucas.” She ground out, no real bite in her tone. Hopefully.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him hop off her poor classmate’s desk and bend over hers, looking at her calculus. “What are those ?”
Without thinking, she responded with: “They are my crocs.” Oh, God. Just like her ghost bandmates, Vine might be dead, but the references definitely were not. Just that once, she regretted watching so many Vines with Flynn when they were in middle school. Random laughter could just be explained as “oh, just Weirdo Julie,” but a random Vine reference in the middle of class - and the second half, no less - that was a little harder to explain.
Thankfully, a quick glance around told her that no one had heard her.
“Hey, Jules, what the hell?”
Well, nobody except Luke.
She realized several things at once. One; her Vine references were definitely incomprehensible to Luke, a ghost from the 90’s. Second; Luke was looking at her with the same fondness and amusement that he always had, but at the moment it was mostly overshadowed with complete and utter confusion. Third; (and arguably the most important one) there was a gold mine of trolling to be found with the boys and gen z humour. She filed that one away for later convenience.
“Julieeee,” He drawled, and she knew he wouldn’t leave her alone without an answer.
“It’s just a Vine,” she muttered. Man, was she pushing her luck with this whole “talking to a ghost no one else can see in a crowded classroom” thing.
And even then, she’d realize later, her teacher was definitely catching on to the fact that someone kept talking in his class, but he didn’t exactly know who yet.
“Oh, like those jokes that Willie’s always teaching Alex!” He sounded so proud of himself, and she would’ve found it endearing literally any other time.
Like she said, she loved her boys, but sometimes they were just too damn much, and she might’ve snapped. “Lucas whatever-the-hell-your-middle-name-is Patterson, if you don’t leave me the fuck alone I will exorcise your ass this time.” Did she really know how to do an exorcism? No. Would she ever really try if she did know how? No, of course not. But she wasn’t above making empty threats to try to get Luke to leave her alone. She wasn’t really mad-mad at him, but she sure as hell was frustrated.
Unfortunately, Plan Get Rid of Luke failed, and he gave her one of his signature charming grins, which eased some of the frustration building in her chest - not that she’d ever let him know that. Knowledge is power, as the saying goes, and she shuddered to think of what Luke could get away with, armed with that power.
“You’d never exorcise me.” She refused to look away from her worksheet and at Luke, but she knew he was grinning cheekily. “You could never. I have it on good authority that you think I’m a bop.”
A laugh bubbled up in her chest, and she desperately covered it up with a cough. But a quick, covert cough to cover up her laugh turned long and drawn out, until she sounded like she was about to hack up a lung. A sheepish glance around told her that not only were Luke and her teacher staring at her with a lot of concern, but so were half of her classmates. Great. Just perfect.
“Are you all right over there, Ms. Molina?” Her teacher, Mr. Wolf, asked.
She managed what she hoped was a reassuring smile and directed it at him. “Oh, I’m fine, thanks. I just, uh, had a little something in my throat.”
He just looked at her, unconvinced. “Alright then.”
Luke himself was just laughing at her, not even trying to disguise it. “Shut up.”
Little shit had the nerve to look innocent. “I didn’t say anything.”
Mr. Wolf was giving her another Look again, and she cleared her throat.
“You know, I think I will get a drink of water.” She smiled, hoping he’d ignore her weirdness today. He just nodded.
The chair made a loud, scraping noise as she pushed it out, and it made her wince internally when even more kids looked up at her from their worksheets. She walked out the door with her cheeks warm and Luke following close behind her.
Thankfully, mercifully, the hallways were empty, so she could finally talk to him without having to worry about looking batshit insane.
When they finally got a safe distance from any classroom doors, she stopped and punched Luke’s arm.
“Wh—Hey! What was that for?” He complained, his voice an octave higher than usual. Good.
She smiled sweetly at him, her smile that usually made him melt. “That was for harassing me while I’m trying to do my classwork, you ass.”
Luke just gave her his Puppy Eyes™, and she rolled her eyes. “C’mon, Jules. It’s so boring without you.”
“Why don’t you hang out with Alex and Reggie? They’re, y’know, not in class.”
Luke groaned. “Alex is ‘hanging out’ with Willie, which is code for they’re on a date. Reggie was watching sitcoms with Ray, last time I checked. You know I can’t do boredom, Julie!”
Yeah, okay. That was fair. “Ugh, okay, fine. Just don’t bug me in class. I’m trying to study for my next calculus test, and having my himbo ghost boyfriend trying to make me look crazy in front of my entire class does not help, contrary to popular belief.”
“Is that one of your fancy 2020 words again?” Luke whined, his face screwed up in confusion.
“Yeah,” She laughed.
“Okay, you have to tell me what it means now.” His face was set, like he was determined to get the definition out of her, but he also had his pleading Puppy Dog Eyes™ again.
“You know the word ‘bimbo’?” Luke nodded. “So, that, but—” She waved her hand vaguely around Luke, hoping he’d get it.
Realization dawned on his face. “Hey!” His voice had gone up an octave again. “I resent that!”
She couldn’t help it, she burst out into laughter. “It’s affectionate, Luke. Also, you’re a jock, pure of heart, and dumb of ass. I mean, if the shoe fits…”
Luke’s face screwed up into a pout and he cried in protest again. She couldn’t help but giggle.
“Listen, I’ve got to get back to class,” She said reluctantly. “But once I get home, we can do some songwriting together, if you want.”
It was like a switch flipped in him; his face brightened immediately. “Okay.”
She laughed softly again and left a soft kiss on Luke’s cheek before she turned around to head back to calculus. “See you later, Luke,” She said, with a gentle emphasis on the ‘later’.
“Bye, Jules,” Luke responded, and she didn’t need to look behind her to know that her pure of heart, dumb of ass, ghost definitely-boyfriend had a soft, dopey smile on his face.
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wbwest · 7 years
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New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com
New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/07/07/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-7717/
West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 7/7/17
I took last week off, but I hope y’all had a great 4th of July weekend. Life’s still kinda kicking my ass, so this’ll be an abridged edition this week.
I finally got around to watching a movie! It’s been on my list since I first heard it was in pre-production, and I’m amazed it took me this long to watch it, considering my love for the source material. The Founder stars Michael Keaton as Ray Kroc, the “founder” of McDonald’s who really just stole the concept from the McDonald Brothers. A down-on-his-luck shake machine salesman, Kroc happens upon the fledgling McDonald’s restaurant in Southern California. Knowing a good thing when he saw it, he pretty much insisted on becoming a part of the operation, mainly focused on franchising the business. And that’s when things get interesting. I LOVE McDonald’s. You can hate me all you want, but like Jim Gaffigan says, “Everyone has their own McDonald’s”. Mine just happens to be the actual company. I don’t know enough about the history of the company to know how factual an account the movie was, but it was sure damn entertaining. Keaton is amazing in it, and I feel like anyone would enjoy the movie even if they think they don’t give a rat’s ass about McDonald’s as a company. I highly recommend this film.
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We finally got our first trailer for Marvel’s Inhumans, and now I realize why they were so hesitant to release it. MY GOD THIS LOOKS TERRIBLE! It looks like Into The Badlands – a show that I hate because people fawn over it when it looks like something that would’ve aired after Xena on Saturday afternoons 20 year ago. Yeah, I even told one of the Badlands creators that when he confronted me over my “appraisal” on Twitter. Badlands is a bad show, but it gets “diversity points”, so folks give it a pass. This show doesn’t even get diversity right, so it’s really just a shitshow in the making. I hate hate HATE that this is considered an official part of the MCU, even if it’s just a part of the never-referenced TV wing. Anyway, this trainwreck debuts in IMAX on September 1st, but will officially air on ABC beginning September 22nd.
Speaking of diversity points, CBS lost all of theirs when they let the Asians go from Hawaii Five-O last weekend. Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park both left the show after salary negotiations broke down as they requested pay equal to their costars. I’ve never seen more than 15 minutes of that show, but I know the dude from Lost seemed pretty important to things. He was basically the White guys’ interpreter to all things native. CBS has claimed that they offered them sizable increases, which weren’t deemed acceptable to Park and Kim. Now the Five-O showrunner, Peter Lenkov, is now joining the side of the network, saying that CBS made “generous offers” to the stars, yet they decided not to renew their contracts.
This has turned into a discussion of race in Hollywood and how things still aren’t equal across the board. I’m a big fan of billing. Billing is important, and should go to the most well-known star. It’s the reason all the ’89 Batman posters say “Jack Nicholson” first. Dude was a bigger star. Now, I didn’t watch Lost and I didn’t watch Battlestar Galactica, but I still recognize Kim and Park from those shows. Maybe it’s just because I’m a geek and folks were always talking about those shows. The show’s star, Alex O’Loughlin? I can’t name a thing he’s been in. Don’t know that dude from Adam. And the other lead? James Caan’s kid? Whatever. Y’all mean you couldn’t pony up the cash to keep Lost Dude and Battlestar Girl? We’re not talking about big names here so, unless there was a favored nations clause where O’Loughlin would have to get a raise if they got raises, thereby thwarting the whole “equality” thing, I don’t see what the problem was. As has been pointed out, all O’Loughlin and Caan had to do was stand in solidarity with their costars and this would’ve been a non-issue. Word on the street it O’Loughlin is quitting at the end of the season anyway, so it’s not like we’re talking another 5 years here. He couldn’t keep his ego in check for a season? Nah, for too many folks, as long as they’ve got theirs, they don’t care if you’ve got yours.
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We also got a trailer for Pitch Perfect 3, forcing me to reiterate that NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE A TRILOGY. I know everyone involved likes money, but sometimes there are natural, built-in ends to things. That thing was a 2-movie franchise and that’s it. Don’t forget – I lived that life. I was in the same competition the Bellas won in the first film (we came in 2nd), and I experienced the aca-graduation blues that the girls experienced in the second film. That’s pretty much it. There’s nowhere else to go. I mean, sure there are some random outlier outcomes. One of my groupmates is a hit producer in Asia now. Another is a pretty big pop star in Hong Kong. The rest of us? Dead-end jobs and bills. I used to occasionally do karaoke, but even that got to be too depressing. That shit is fun while it lasts, and then you’ve got to move on. So, in that vein, I can understand the plot of the 3rd movie, with the girls wanting to have one last hurrah, but I don’t really understand the concept of putting them on a USO tour. Is that something the troops wanna see? Has Pentatonix been dropped into the theater of war? It just seems kinda farfetched to me, and I was fine with how things were left in the last movie. Sure, I’ll see it, but it won’t be in a theater.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
Hide grandma’s wallet – QVC is buying out Home Shopping Network.
After 3 seasons, The Carmichael Show has been canceled by NBC. I really wish someone else would snatch it up, as it’s a smart show
Netflix has renewed Dear, White People for a 2nd season. Meanwhile, they canceled Girlboss after one season. Reed Hastings giveth and he taketh away.
Speaking of Netflix, hearing the cries of fans, Sense8 will officially conclude with a 2-hour finale special
Netflix also renewed one of my favorite original shows, F is For Family, for a 3rd season.
Apparently a series based on the popular Step Up film series, called Step Up: High Water, will premiere on YouTube Red, where absolutely NOBODY is gonna watch it.
Fuller House season 3 will coincidentally premiere on the 30th anniversary of Full House, September 22nd.
Make your vacations weird again, as Cirque du Soleil has purchased Blue Man Group.
Patton Oswalt is engaged to 80s actress Meredith Salenger. Ya know, the same Patton whose wife died last year. I guess we all grieve in our own ways…
Lack of interest brought down The House, which bombed at the box office last weekend. It was reportedly Will Ferrell’s lowest live-action opening for a major studio.
Nick Fury will reportedly be making his MCU return in 2019’s Captain Marvel
HBO is reportedly getting the True Detective band back together, with a 3rd season to star Mahershala Ali
Nixing speculation that she was still up for the White House Press Secretary job, Kimberly Guilfoyle has reupped her contract with Fox News
Rob Lowe and his sons will chase the supernatural in The Lowe Files, and I literally cannot wait.
New game show, Snap Decision, premieres August 7th. Hosted by David Allen Grier, the show breaks precedent because it will debut on GSN and in syndication on the same date.
The world’s leading (and only) bar scientist favorited my tweet this week
We’re gonna do something different here this week. Usually, if you’ve been paying attention to the week’s news, you can at least try to figure out who or what had the best week. Some weeks it’s harder to choose something than others. Then I remembered, “Will, this is YOUR site.” After all, this is all pop culture through my lens, so it’s my rules. So, sometimes I might choose something that meant a lot to me that week, while you were none the wiser. But I bring it up on the site so that we’re all on the same page. And that’s the kind of pick I have this week.
After watching The Founder, I was left thinking, “Michael Keaton is a goddamn national treasure”. After watching Spider-Man: Homecoming last night (yeah, we’ll talk about it next week, when more of y’all have had a chance to see it), I was thinking “Why have we been sleeping on Keaton the past 20 years?” I mean, with the exception of The Other Guys, I honestly hadn’t seen a Michael Keaton movie since probably Batman Returns, and yet Birdman is the one considered his “comeback vehicle”. In The Founder, he really made you feel for a traveling salesman who was at the end of his rope. After a string of laughable failures, he finally found something to which he could hitch his wagon: McDonald’s. And while he also had to prove this to everyone in his sphere of orbit, most importantly he had to prove this to himself. He really needed a win, and Keaton did such a great job conveying that.
In Homecoming, Keaton plays Adrian Toomes, better known as the Vulture (though he’s never called that by name in the film). Not unlike Alfred Molina’s Dr. Octopus, he’s something of a sympathetic villain. Were it not for the fact that comic book franchises deal in the good/bad binary, you could almost relate to him and understand where he’s coming from. He’s a modern-day working class guy who feels ignored by the fat cats up on high. He doesn’t have evil goals. He simply wants to provide for his family, and he has a code of honor that dictates he must do whatever it takes to make good on that promise. I felt that Keaton did a great job expressing the plight of the working man. Sure, he got to utter some cheesy villain dialogue, but that simply comes with the territory. If you stopped for a minute, and ignored the fact that Spider-Man HAS to win, you realize that Toomes is actually kind of on to something. Again, though, I’ll get into more Homecoming thoughts next week.
My pal Chad pretty much swears by Michael Keaton as his favorite actor – a lot of that having to do with his immense love of 1989’s Batman. I’ve gotta say, I was never a huge fan of Keaton’s Batman, and when Chad would laud Keaton’s praises, I wasn’t really seeing it. I see it now, though. I have seen the light and I am healed! Dear Hollywood, more Michael Keaton, please! He pretty much impressed me on two different cinematic fronts this week, and that’s why Michael Keaton had the West Week Ever.
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