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vampirebloodie · 7 months

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Curiosity | Mark Hoffman x reader

Summary: your curiosity takes you to dangerous places just like Hoffman

Warning: little NSFW content, violence, trap, blood.

You were part of the local police force in the town that was becoming famous due to the Jigsaw cases. You was always excluded from other police officers and investigators and your presence was almost never noticed. Then, the boss decided to secretly assign him to investigate the cases.

While the other members went round and round and never concluded, you investigated one of the detectives on your own, this was Mark Hoffman. He could go unnoticed in the eyes of others, but not in yours. For you, he was the biggest suspect of being Jigsaw's apprentice

You only saw Hoffman sometimes, but you never spoke properly, he was a big scary man.

Knowing the brutality of the cases, if it really was Hoffman, you knew he wouldn't spare you if he found out being investigated. After gathering enough evidence to incriminate Hoffman and thus close the investigation, you decided to leave a paper in the detective's office.

“I know who you are.”

This was your biggest mistake. Hoffman was smarter than you thought, he knew the quiet cop was keeping an eye on him, so he too began to investigate your private life a few weeks ago.

You received a message on your cell phone, it was the boss saying that he had received all the envelopes with the proves, smiling you quickly went to his office.

The office was empty, but you heard a noise coming from the bathroom so you assumed he was inside. Observing the room, you saw one of the drawers ajar, unable to bear your curiosity, you opened it, only to find a human eye looking at you. Screaming, you tried to run to the door, but the tall figure in the pig mask was already there with a syringe in hand.

You tried to push and knock the table over and run, but before you could, a hand grabbed your hair and liquid was injected into your neck.

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The light bothered your eyes and made your head throb intensely, you tried to put your hands there in an attempt to make the pain stop, but you realized that there was something heavy stuck in your head. Your eyes opened completely in despair, you were in an old and abandoned room with an old television, and a large glass with a liter marker and a knife on a table.

You had been caught by Jigsaw, Hoffman had discovered what you were up to and now you would pay for it. The television turned on, showing the doll explaining the rules of the trap to you.

“Hello Y/N, I want to play a game. You donated too much as a police officer, you donated your time, your sleep, more than you should have, your curiosity brought you here. Now, to survive, you will have to donate your blood as further proof of the crime you were gathering. Donate your blood or your life. The choice is yours, live or die.”

So the television turned off and a clock noise started to ring, you looked at the walls, you had exactly 3 minutes to fill that glass before that trap in your head killed you.

You went to the table and picked up the knife, it was fine, you just needed to cut your wrist without dying in the process. Taking a deep breath you made the first cut, feeling the throbbing pain fill you and the red liquid fill the glass.

There were only a few seconds left before the time was up and the cup was almost full, as soon as it reached the end, a key fell from who knows where next to you. In desperation you quickly grabbed the object trying to remove the trap, your blood made your hands slip.

You threw the trap on the ground, seeing it close quickly, it would have blown your head off. It wasn't like other traps, Hoffman had modified the equipment, making it more aggressive. Your mouth was bleeding.

Tearing a piece of your blouse you made a bandage to stop the bleeding, in addition to being a police officer you had also been a nurse, so you hadn't cut a vein, on the other hand you had to make several cuts that would leave marks on you.

You left the room immediately looking for a way out, only to find Hoffman in one of the corridors staring at you, you turned around ready to run, but you were too weak to do so due to blood loss.

When you saw it, the man had already thrown you against the ground and was on top of you like an animal. His hot breath in your ear raised goosebumps on your skin.

“You know what happens to curious girls, Y/N?”

His hand moved down to your uncovered waist, where he left a grip there that made you sigh. You couldn't deny it, you had already had sexual fantasies with Hoffman and there was clearly a sexual air between the two of you when you met at the police station, even if you didn't speak to each other.

He turned you up, making your eyes meet. Fuck it, you couldn't take that tension anymore, you grabbed Hoffman by his tie and kissed him desperately, ignoring the blood in your mouth. Maybe the lack of blood was making you delirious, but that big man's hands on your body made you go to heaven.

You let out a pained moan when your injured wrist hit him, he broke the kiss and touches your bandaged wrist.

“I'm sorry, dear, but rules are rules.”

Ignoring the pain, you tried to take off his blazer, he grabbed your hands, pinning them above your head and started kissing and licking your neck. He opened the buttons on her shirt revealing your breasts, as you wasn't wearing a bra that day.

Hungry, Hoffman attacked your breasts by licking, nibbling and sucking. You couldn't control your moans feeling his tongue going lower and lower, until it got close to your skirt.

Suddenly, he stopped.

“Curious girls don't deserve pleasure.”

Hoffman straightened his clothes and stood up, as if nothing had happened, and turned his back on you, leaving with hurried steps.

“Hoffman? HOFFMAN!!?”

You screamed his name, but he just ignored you. A woman suddenly appeared behind you after hearing your screams.

“Damn, what happened here and with your clothes? I'm Amanda, by the way.”

You both stared at the pool of blood that was next to you due to the bleeding having returned.

“Shit. Motherfucker.”

You muttered irritably as the woman helped you. Now you had wet panties and a torn wrist, but at least you would learn to control your curiosity.

#mark hoffman #mark hoffman x reader #saw #imagines #costas mandylor

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seraphsfire · 8 months

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Life situation & kitty update! Help me stay in Seattle instead of being forced to go to wyoming

Hello! I was able to make rent this month, but so far I cannot make rent for next month.

Ko-fi has been holding donations since paypal has been flagging them as "income" so that no longer works.

If you would like to help me out using paypal, the link is HERE. I will look into other venmo and cashapp. you can also reach out for a commission! If you donated via paypal and would like me to draw you a little something in thanks, please let me know!

I also put together an AMAZON WISH LIST , most is things for the kitties or food and some non-essentials / self care things for the hell of it that are things i haven't been able to buy myself for a while. Other than rent, kitty supplies and food are what I spend most $ on.

More on what I'm facing and what my kitties need:

about the kitties:

My sweet kitty Jade, needs a steroidal shot for her dermatitis. She should have gotten another one on the 25th, but I had no money to take her to the vet and she started ripping her fur out and made big, golf-ball sized spots completely bald on her armpit and chest :'( We put her on benadryl, moisturized her, and gave her a little jacket thing to help but I can tell she's really uncomfortable and really needs a vet visit to get that. it's $80 just to visit my vet and i'm sure the shot could be anywhere from 10-40 dollars, I really don't know. She's not in danger of pulling huge chunks of fur out thanks to the little jacket but she's really not happy and it makes me so sad.

About my situation (kind of long, sorry):

My Parents (mostly my mom; it's very hard to get responses from my dad) gave me rent money for September, but then made it clear that she will no longer help me financially under any circumstance if I want to "choose" to live in Seattle, then I'm essentially on my own. She doesn't want to give me money because she doesn't want ours to be a "transactional-based relationship" (after spending my entire childhood having them pressure me to move out on my own)

My dad is convinced that since Seattle is a city, it is very unsafe (and too full of Democrats) and that we would be safer living in their small town of Pavilion, Wyoming--which is literally just like, a few very spaced out neighborhoods. The nearest actual town is a 30 minute drive, and it's not very big either, and I don't drive. I would be snowed in *with them* for 4+ MONTHS every year, and every summer unable to leave the house for weeks because of the heat.

My dad has told my sister and I that if we choose to live right next to them, where they could have complete control over our lives, they would even buy us a house--but because we're not doing that, they refuse to support us in the life we've chosen for ourselves. They do not see the cruelty in this and think we are being nonsensical staying somewhere like Seattle which is "dangerous" and they do not like that it is full of non-republicans. I came out as queer in 2016, something which they have never spoken about since. I would likely be the only (out) queer person for MILES, and I don't feel like being the guinea pig for whether the anti-gay people there are the kind who ignore you or the kind who will hatecrime/kill you (:

Since I'd be at zero in my bank account in wyoming, they would have complete control over what I eat (not fun since I have a messed up digestion), clothes I buy, where I go, and how I behave just like they did when I was a child, or they'll start taking things away hoping that "tough love" will work. (it just made me mentally ill lol)

If I start a job in a week and a half I might be okay, but if I can't start until after that I won't have enough for October rent. I have one interview coming up but the future is still very up in the air.

#people in need #signal boost #haha im scared #thank u

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ariesqueencobra · 2 months

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what we used to be | XVl

Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader

Summary: Moon is throwing a party and the last person you expect to see there is there...

Warnings: dojo rivalry, swearing, underage drinking, bullying, injury

Word Count: 3k

A/N: I've been waiting for this chapter! One of my favorite Hawk moments so it was fun writing! Also a longer chapter! Hope you enjoy!

Thank you to those who already reblog and comment, I see you and I love you all for it!

I don't consent to this work being copied, translated or reposted.

Moon was throwing a party before the school year started.

You walked into the party alongside your friends, but everyone stopped when you realized Cobra Kai was there. Your gaze landed briefly on Eli’s before you forced yourself to look away.

You hadn’t seen him since the day at the restaurant.

It pissed you off that it hurt seeing him. You missed him.

Moving your gaze didn’t make you feel better when they landed on Aisha. You didn’t think breaking up with Eli meant throwing away the rest of Cobra Kai, but then again, you did join Miyagi-Do.

After she abruptly ended the phone call a couple of weeks ago, the tension was there as you stared at your ex-friend.

Thankfully, Moon appeared, cutting it.

“Glad you guys made it,” she grinned. “Kegs are out back, drinks are in the kitchen, and the vegan pigs in a blanket just got out of the oven,” she said.

“You never said anything about inviting Cobra Kai,” Sam said, saying what you were all thinking.

“I figured with summer ending and school starting up, we could all stop fighting and be friends again,” she said hopefully.

“That’s wishful thinking,” Sam brushed off.

“Let’s all clear our chakras and have some fun!” Moon encouraged before she walked off.

You gazed at Demitri, hiking your shoulders up before you walked further into the house, needing to escape Eli.

That’s how you found yourself talking with Moon. You were sitting on the other side of the room and Eli was on the couch. Even though his presence was magnetizing, your conversation with her was distracting enough.

“I swear I was a dewdrop, I was literally sitting on a blade of grass, the sun hitting on me,” she emphasized, gripping your arm.

You were doubled over laughing at her recounting the dream she had. “I’m sorry, I’m just picturing your face on a dew drop like the Sun baby from Teletubbies,” you giggled, causing her to laugh along.

“That’s exactly how it went,” she giggled.

In the process of you laughing, you glanced up, finding Eli talking to a girl.

There he was, oozing with the confidence you fell in love with as he spoke to her. The bubble in your stomach unnerved you and you despised it. You weren’t supposed to be jealous but then again, you weren’t together anymore. It didn’t matter.

“Oh, great! My girlfriend’s here!” Moon beamed. “You’re gonna love her!” She tapped you on the arm before she walked over to the girl Eli was talking to.

A breath of relief escaped you.

For the next hour or so, you spent the entire time chatting it up with Moon and her girlfriend, Piper. The couple was so cute and you enjoyed getting to talk to people outside of karate. Something that had been a while since you last did.

Unbestowent to you, Eli was watching you have the time of your life without him.

You weren’t supposed to have moved on so easily.

He held on to that hope that you were heartbroken, unable to let go of what you had. That’s what his mom told him after she had talked to your mom. What happened since then?

Keeping his gaze on you, he tried distractions. Whether it was a dance circle or talking with Assface, nothing was working. His eyes kept training on you.

You kept laughing, so much. What could be so captivating that you were so invested in conversing with Moon?

Eli hated it.

He watched as Piper showed her ear piercings to you, your eyes tracing over the jewels and you began gesturing to your ear, most likely asking what kind of piercings would look good on you.

He knew that’s what you asked because he knows you.

Then Demitri sat beside him.

“Did you watch the new Doctor Who trailer?” He asked.

“I don’t watch nerd shit,” Eli grumbled, sipping from his cup, brushing his gaze away from his ex-best friend.

“Y’know Moffat isn’t the showrunner anymore,” Demitri continued to talk.

Eli paused. “Wait, really, since when? Is there a new doctor, what’s he like?” He grew interested, not realizing it had been a while since he’d watched his favorite shows.

“She’s badass,” Demitri smirked.

“She?” Eli grinned.

Your giggling drew his attention away and suddenly he was back to being Hawk.

“She’s moved on,” Demitri said, sighing, feeling bad for him but at the same time he was proud of you for doing so. “She’s made it obvious she doesn’t want to be with you anymore.”

“Defeat does not exist,” Eli ignored him.

“There’s that winning attitude that pushed her away in the first place,” he sighed. “Look at her, she’s grown, she’s happy, she found peace, maybe it’s time you found some too,” he patted him on the shoulder.

“Oh yeah?” Eli smirked before he stood up, pouring his drink over Demitri’s head.

The partygoers gasped and you turned just in time to see it happen.

“That’s what I thought, still a pussy,” he threw his empty cup at Demitri before walking off.

You caught his eyes for a moment, sending him a disappointed look before rushing off to check on Demitri.

“Do you want to head out of here?” You asked, helping him pat dry his shirt.

“I’m gonna get cleaned up in the bathroom,” he grumbled before walking off.

You blew out a breath, dumping the towels in the trash. You shook your head, shocked at what Eli did but could you say you were surprised?

“I knew I was right when I said you chose Demitri over me,” Eli appeared at your side. “Now you joined Miyagi-Do?”

“What’s it to you? We’re broken up,” you spat, wiping your hands.

“It means everything, you weren’t supposed to choose that pussy over me,” he furrowed his brows.

“And you weren’t supposed to hurt me,” you sneered. “Guess we did things we weren’t supposed to do,” you swallowed.

“I still stand by what I say, I would never hurt you,” he blocked your path.

“You hurt me every time you hurt Demitri,” you gritted. “What do you want Eli?”

“You,” he answered, point blankly. “Come back where you belong, with me.”

“Stop it,” you shook your head. “I’m better now, okay?” You crossed your arms over your chest.

His jaw clenched. “Being a traitor made you better?”

“I don’t have to explain anything to you,” you gritted, stalking close to him. “You were the one that decided being an asshole was better,” you jabbed a finger in his chest. “You put your ego over our relationship,” you spat.

He was irritated. “And you chose that pussy over us, many times if you don’t recall,” he inhaled.

“Seems like I made the right choice then,” you fumed, feeling proud in the way his eyes flashed with hurt. Serves him right. Keeping your gaze locked on his, you searched desperately for a sign of your Eli, but he was gone. “I don’t even recognize you anymore,” you shook your head, a sting forming in the back of your eyes.

You went upstairs, finding the bathroom but you were curious when you couldn’t find Demitri. Deciding it best to find him after you composed yourself, you found your way back downstairs just in time to see Demitri on stage, a mic in his hand.

“Excuse me,” he said, the mic sounding off some feedback. “I’d like to make a toast,” he sounded boisterous, a contrast from his state a few moments prior. “To Eli Moskowitz,” he raised his cup in the air.

You exhaled in worry as the room questioned who that was.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Demitri laughed. “Some of you know him as Hawk,” he said, gesturing to your ex. “But underneath that crazy clown cosplay and whatever type of Manic Panic he dumps his hair in, he’s still good old Eli. My Binary Brother,” he stated.

You gulped, glancing at Eli, finding him to be angry.

“Well, he was my binary brother. Wanna know what he is now? A real zero,” he gestured.

The room of people erupted in soft laughter.

“Alright that’s enough Demitri,” Eli gritted.

“Don’t let that angry red hairdo fool you. He’s a big softie,” Demitri mimicked. “We watched every Harry Potter movie together. And he cried like a big baby when Dobby died,” he elaborated, imitating sobbing.

You furrowed your brows, not recalling a memory of when that happened.

“In the words of Eli’s hero, Steve Jobs, “I’ve got one more thing”,” Demitri continued. “Have any of you heard of sleep enuresis?”

“Don’t,” Eli pleaded.

Your heartbeat picked up, confusion filling you as you didn’t understand what your friend was talking about.

“That’s the medical term of course. In the King’s English, it’s good old-fashioned bed-wetting,” Demitri said, the room erupting in laughter. “And Eli here is a pro,” he clicked his tongue, snapping at Eli. “My mom had a special air mattress for sleepovers, she called it “Eli’s waterbed”.”

Your heart dropped and you sent a worried glance at Eli, unaware of anything Demitri said. The room erupted in laughter and you wanted so much to stop it.

“Screw mercy. You’re a corpse!” Eli shoved his cup into Mitch, charging towards Demitri but Chris blocked him.

“You’re gonna have to go through me,” he said.

“Stay out of it,” Mitch defended.

“Hey, don’t touch him,” Robby entered.

“Or what?” Aisha taunted.

“Guys, stop, we’re friends,” Moon stood between them.

The tension could be cut with a knife and you were about to go in and help but police sirens were heard, red and blue flashing through the windows.

“Cops!” Someone shouted.

Chaos ensued and you were quick to run towards Demitri but by the time you got to the stage, he was gone.

“Great,” you slapped your hands against your thighs before you booked it for an escape. You were running out of the house but through the mayhem, someone pushed you and you fell right on the lawn, pain spreading in your ankle. “Shit,” you hissed.

“Y/N?” You heard Eli’s voice and before you could speak, he was already hoisting you up on your feet.

You cried out in pain putting weight on your right foot, almost falling again if it wasn’t for him.

“Woah, what the hell happened?” He asked before wrapping your arm around his neck, his arm wrapping around your waist as he helped you keep the weight off your ankle.

“I was pushed,” you huffed, trying to book it out of there as fast as you could.

“I parked a couple of blocks from here, I’ll drive you home,” he said now that you were a few houses down.

“I can’t go home,” you sucked in a breath. “I left my keys in my jacket in Moon’s room and I can’t tell my dad I left them there because the cops showed up,” you hopped, keeping your bad foot in the air.

“I’ll take the blame,” he said.

“I wish, but my parents aren’t even there,” you stated. “They went on an anniversary getaway in Santa Barbra and won’t be home until the morning.”

“I’ll take you to my place,” he said, making it to the car and opening the door for you, helping you inside.

“Thanks, Eli,” you gulped, keeping your gaze ahead of you.

The drive was silent but not awkward.

“My dad’s working late and my mom is at her book club,” he said, unlocking the front door.

You had your arm wrapped around his neck, limping into his house. You missed coming over, the smell of his home. That ache in your chest returned.

“Just one step at a time,” he encouraged as you hopped on each step, one hand on the railing and the other around him.

You relaxed when you made it to his bed.

“I’ll be back,” he left you in his room, and you looked around, having not been here in a long time.

One thing you noticed was the posters of his favorite movies and video games were no longer up, replaced with different punk posters and bands. You didn’t care for the change, really, if he truly liked those things, it wasn’t a problem.

When you noticed the photos of you and Demitri weren’t hung up anymore, your heart fell but you saw he still had your art hung up.

The card you made for him after he got bit by the rabid dog, the hawk painting you gave him for your anniversary, and the other ones you’ve created over the years.

“Here,” he came back into the room and sat on the bed, handing you a bag of ice. “You need to ice it before you compress it,” he explained.

“Thank you,” you took the bag from him, untying your shoe and carefully taking your sock off. “It’s swollen, right?”

He stared at the tender skin. “The ice should help, but I don’t see any bruising so I’m sure tomorrow you’ll feel better,” he reassured.

You nodded, silence consuming you again.

He was sitting by your foot on the bed, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared forward.

You studied him, outlining the curves of his profile.

The arch of his nose, his long lashes, his lips, those blue eyes.

Gulping, you turned away, your face becoming hot. “You still have my art on your wall,” you pointed out, wanting the silence to end.

He glanced at the wall, face softening. “I need to be reminded that we were good before,” he answered, slightly cold before glancing at you.

You sighed. “We were,” you chewed on your lip, shifting the ice pack on your ankle.

“You still wear the bracelet I gave you,” he pointed, gaze on your wrist.

You froze, glancing down at where he was looking, realizing for the first time that it was true.

“I can’t come up with a good reason as to why,” you moved a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Because your heart knows we belong together,” he said, staring at you.

“Eli,” you shook your head.

“No. We love each other, shouldn’t that be enough?”

“No,” your voice cracked. “I wish it were but we’re so different now, I can’t date a bully after going through the hell that I watched you go through and what I did as well,” you glanced down.

“Kinda hypocritical to say that after what your friend did to me at the party,” his jaw ticked, turning away from you.

“That’s not fair. Should he have done it? No, but you attacked him, Eli,” you said. “Over a review,” you stated.

“Not this bullshit again,” he rolled his eyes, standing up.

“Okay, fine, I won’t talk about it,” you leaned back against his pillows, letting the ice pack rest on your ankle. “I didn’t know he’d do that,” you spoke up. “I didn’t know that happened,” your gaze softened at him.

“Yeah, now what? You think I’m a loser, don’t you?” He gulped.

“No,” you furrowed your brows. “The only thing that makes me think you’re a loser is being a bully,” you frowned, arms crossed over your chest. “And I know that’s not you.”

“This is me,” he defended. “And it sucks that the one person I care about the most can’t see that,” he spat before getting up and walking out of his room.

You called after him, feeling helpless as you were left on the bed, your ankle radiating with pain. You stayed there for what felt like forever but then Eli came back in, carrying a tray in his hands.

“It’s been twenty minutes,” he said, setting the tray on the nightstand.

Your gaze followed the tray and found two plates with a sandwich and some chips, two cups with some drink in it, a bottle of Ibuprofen, a wrap, and some type of topical gel. Your heart melted, from thinking he blew you off to knowing he got all this for you.

“You didn’t have to do this,” you gazed softly at him.

“I care about you, Y/N. And I love you,” he glanced down at you, grabbing the wrap and topical gel. “I can do it if you can’t,” he handed you the gel.

You smiled, thanking him as you took it. Taking the ice off, you wipe the water off before uncapping the gel and applying the anti-inflammatory gel on your skin. Instantly, you could feel the relief. When it came to the wrap, you were having trouble.

“Here,” he took it from you, moving to sit at your feet.

“You don’t have to,” you declined but he placed your foot in his lap.

“Let me help you,” he brushed you off.

You sighed as you watched him wrap your ankle.

His touch was gentle and his movements soft.

You couldn’t help the way your heart soared, seeing a side of Eli you missed so much.

“Not too tight?” He asked and you shook your head. “You should eat before you take the pain medication,” he said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You agreed, asking for help to the bathroom to wash your hands before you settled back on the bed. You watched a show while eating, something comforting in the domesticity before you grew tired.

“You don’t have to take the medication if you don’t want it,” he said, sitting next to you on the bed.

You were resting against the headboard, your faces inches apart. “It hurts, so I do,” you passed him a grin. “Thank you, Eli,” you said, taking the medication.

“You’re welcome,” he took the bottle and glass from you. “I’m gonna sleep on the couch, but call if you need anything,” he looked at you.

You nodded, chewing on your lip.

“Eli?” You asked.

“Yeah?” He stopped from getting up, staring at you expectedly.

“I love you too,” you admitted. “Before, you said you love me and well, I wanted you-”

You couldn’t finish your sentence as his lips landed on yours. Your eyes flew closed and you sighed into the kiss, finding home again.

His hand gently reached up to cup your face and for once, things felt like normal.

But the feeling was brief and you fell back to Earth.

“I can’t, Eli,” you licked your lips, pulling away.

He shook his head, hand still on you. “I never wanted to break up.”

“Neither did I,” you rested your forehead against him before you bid each other goodnight.

#eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz #eli moskowitz imagine #hawk x reader #cobra kai

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sir-phillip-crane · 2 years

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Headcanons of how would Scanlan, Percy, and Vax react if they went out with their crush to buy something to be mistaken as a couple?

sorry it took so long! i started school and homeworks got me swamped... im takin a little to adjust but I hope to be back to writing regularly soon!! requests can be sent in, but answers will be slow.

Scan the man

“I am simply saying, you would think, with how fuckin’ invent-y Percy is, he could figure out how to fix my lute! It’s bullshit that he’s ‘unable to’! I think that just translates to ‘I am a lazy fancy boi who doesn’t want to help my friends’!”

You laughed at his comment as you opened the door for him into a music based shop, the very specific smell of cork grease and reeds hitting you as you entered. “Usually I give him the benefit of the doubt, but I think you’re right in this case.”

You both wandered around for a few minutes, Scanlan especially fascinated by all of the musical instruments, even though he had seen them a million times.

Finally, a busy employee noticed you looking through the music books and greeted you. “Oh, hello! My deepest apologies, as you can see, we’re rather busy today!”

She was right, the store bustled around you. Despite it, Scanlan still heard and made his way to your side.

“What can I help you and your husband with?”

Scanlan blinked, at a loss for words for a moment. It wasn’t often you were mistaken for a couple, since the group tended to go to shops together, and it was more often you were mistaken for a polycule or more specific, more… odd couples. (Keyleth and Grog happened often, mostly because she would always gently explain things to him if she could).

Finally, he figured out what to say. “Ah, trust me, I wish I had the honor of callin’ this hot little piece mine, but they’re a bit too sophisticated for my taste.”

You responded by laughing and gently shoving him, then explaining that he needed his lute fixed.

She promised it would be finished by the end of the week, and either of you could drop by to grab it.

As you left, Scanlan started to laugh, reaching to take your hand. “I can’t believe that she thought we were married!”

“Please, you’d be lucky to land me, Shorthalt.”

“Well then,” he winked, “let me try my hand at it. Dinner tonight?”

Percy von Keysmash

“I swear to gods, it is becoming more and more difficult to find black powder.”

“How about that crazy guy who gave you a literal pig’s head full of it? I’m sure his shop is still open,” you laughed.

“Ugh, please, do not remind me of that interaction. That pig’s head haunted my dreams almost as much as the Briarwoods. Ah! Here we go! …Not nearly as much as I need, though…”

“If you and your partner are trying to find black powder, there’s a medicinal shop which sells it in bulk.” A lady browsing the shop commented, looking up at Percy. “Would you like the address?”

“Oh, um, yes, please. That would be lovely. Thank you.” Percy stammered, offering the lady a tiny notebook where she jotted down the address.

Percy gently took your hand and tugged you towards the door, seeming to want to leave the shop as soon as he could.

The two of you walked in silence for a long while, you unable to figure out what to say after that. Should you make a joke? Ignore it? Just face it head on?

It ended up being… awkward silence. Which Percy met with the same.

You two likely would have completely ignored it, if you hadn’t stepped into the shop and immediately been greeted by “what can I do for you lovebirds?”

Percy heaved a sigh, shaking his head before simply saying “black powder.”

You lingered awkwardly by the door until he finished up the transaction, then walking alongside him as you left.

“Well, that was… Something.” You mumbled, crossing your arms, gazing at the cobblestone as you walked.

“My apologies for how I handled that. I- I…” He trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

You didn’t prompt him again, simply allowing him to drop it and stay in awkward silence the rest of the walk.

Vax

When it came to shopping, Vax enjoyed it, but often wasn’t ‘allowed’ unless Vex was there to negotiate the price. And if that price wasn’t low enough, and the twins deemed the shopkeep an ass, they would simply steal it.

But a library, looking into whatever monster of the week you were fighting, meant Vex avoided it as she often insisted she found reading gross and posh, and nerds like you and Vax and Percy and, really, all of the group but her, Grog, and Scanlan, could get it done.

You sat at a table besides Keyleth, looking up as Vax carted back an armful of books and dumped them on the table. “We are going to be here all night, I swear to gods.”

“Do you want me to go get some food, then?” Keyleth hummed, smiling up at you and Vax.

“I don’t think the library allows food…” You started, then looked up, realizing it seemed to only be VM and a single employee, then added “can you bring us back some cookies?”

She nodded, compiling a small list of snacks before leaving to find some.

“Excuse me, you and your husband’s friend is not allowed to bring food in here.”

Vax completely overlooked the relationship comment, simply responding with “excuse me, my friends and I are the only reason all the residents of Emon were not dragon kibble. We will eat in the library if we damn well please.”

The employee shut up, realizing quickly they wouldn’t win this conversation – especially not as Vax flashed one of his daggers.

He sat besdes you, opening one of the leatherbound tombs and commenting “this is gonna take a year.”

“Did you… hear what they said?”

“Hm? Kiki shouldn’t be bringing food in here.”

“No, uh… Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

Vax will ask Percy about it while youre out of earshot, and respond by subtly giving you a little kiss on the cheek.

#vax'ildan x reader #percy de rolo x reader #scanlan x reader #critical role x reader #the legend of vox machina #tlovm #vax'ildan #the legend of vox machina x reader #percy de rolo #scanlan shorthalt x reader #scanlan shorthalt #critical role

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cowboyhorsegirl · 10 months

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Not My First Rodeo (An 1872 SteveTony Fic Reclist🤠💫)

This reclist is a fill for the @stevetonygames bingo square "Consequence" and the Resolutions Challenge for Team Future :)

a slow ticking wilderness by @starvels (2.4k, M)

Three weeks ago, Tony burned his hands in his forge. Since then, he's been unable to use them, useless and listless. Relying on the kindness of strangers ain't exactly his expertise. Luckily, Sheriff Steve Rogers has good hands and a heart hale enough to keep offering bits of help and hope to Tony, no matter that he ain't all that good at accepting them.

RATING: Five out of five heart-happy cowboys, 🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠

What if I told you this was literally the first (The First!!!) 1872 fic I ever read, which may have been a mistake on my part because it simply set the bar too high, devastatingly high, stratospherically high! This fic feels like wrapping yourself up in a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer while you sit by a beautiful, roaring fire and drink a delicious cup of spiced hot cocoa. Please fulfill all your wildest h/c dreams and desires in the embrace of this lovely window into established relationship 1872 stevetony.

To Break the Bridle by @deervsheadlights (25k, M)

If anyone had told Tony a year ago that he would be herding cattle up on some god-forsaken mountain, in deep winter and out of his own free will, he would've laughed in their face. Were they to show him the blond and blue-eyed reason for his sudden lapse of judgement, however, he might've just understood.

RATING: Two cowboys who are frequently secretly very fond of each other + a new appreciation for the pavlovian potential of duck fat, 🤠🤠🦆

Everyone gather round and say thank you deervsheadlights!! Thank you deer for writing the 1872 Brokeback Mountain AU that we have all been begging for since the moment 1872 comics hit the shelves! This fic was another early 1872 find for me and I simply cannot recommend it enough: the slow burn, the hurt comfort, the romance-this fic does it all masterfully.

but come ye back by @s-hylor (1.2k, T)

When the night is cold and the sky is open, Tony goes to talk to the past Sheriff of Timely.

RATING: one broken cowpoke's heart, but the hurt is tempered by the knowledge that the love perseveres on, 💔

If you have yet to heal from the hurt of 1872 Issue 2, then this is the fic for you. This fic is the best deconstruction of emotion following the Sheriff's death that I have read yet, savage in both it's sadness and it catharsis, and I cannot recommend this highly enough.

A Handsome Stranger Called Death by @isozyme & @sheshopelesse (3.5k, M)

Steve Rogers was an optimist, and he had no sense for the limits of one man with a six-shooter and a strong will, but he was canny enough to know that he wasn’t getting any good done as pig food.

RATING: 10/10 shakes of a rattler's tail 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

Close your eyes and imagine a story that combines Western gothic and desert mysticism and monsterfucking and domestic bliss and now open your eyes bc that fic exists and you're looking at it! The prose is gorgeous, the mythology is arresting, and the characterization is stunning. Plus! This fic comes complete with its own podfic, ready for your joint reading & listening pleasures.

Somebody's Darling by @laireshi (12.9k, T)

Steve wasn't always a sheriff, and Tony didn't always spend his days halfway down a bottle. They met long before Timely.

RATING: the best 1872 rom-com of all time, if rom-com was short for Romantic-Commentary on the Inherent Despondency of War

This fic!!!!!! Is wonderful and delivers a years-long sweeping arc of a wartime romance before dropping you off at the front door of 1872 canon. It's such a heartfelt exploration of love blooming amidst the chaos and tragedy of war, of the way two people keep getting drawn back to each other again and again, of second chances and third chances and fourth, all culminating in a freedom both precarious and precious to be found in the West.

The Strangers You Call Friends by Mireille (1.4k, T)

Stark frustrates Sheriff Rogers, but that doesn't mean he wants to see the man drink himself to death. Timely needs a blacksmith, after all.

RATING: two out of two prettiest blue eyes this side of the Mississippi, at least according to the cowboy locked in the Sheriff's cell for tonight 👀

An incredible pre-canon character study from the POV of Timely's favorite Sheriff. I feel as though this fic is so true to canon characterization and setting that it could honestly constitute the first page of an 1872 novelization. You really sink into Steve's mindset and his perspective on not just Tony's perennial drunkenness, but on his duties to the town as a whole.

Say My Name by citsiurtlanu (2.6k, G)

Steve reminds Tony that there's more to him than the war his weapons were used in.

RATING: a whole cowtown who has been irrevocably changed for the better by the love of two men, 🤠💞🫡🤠💞🫡🤠💞🫡🤠💞🫡

A beautiful canon-compliant fic that pulls at the thread of romance hidden in the rough, vibrant fabric of 1872. There's so much tenderness in this story, it aches in the best way :')

Paradise Blue in 1872 by @cowboyhorsegirl (oh hey that's me!) (500w, T)

Steve imagines this is what it feels like to commit blasphemy, looking at Tony Stark.

RATING: Sheriff Rogers' extremely Catholic-coded erection 🤨🤨

It's about!! the wretched devotion of love, the purgatory of the West, the discovery of a new God in the listless eyes of the saloon's resident patron! A bite-sized character & relationship study that slots itself very neatly within the first 5 pages of 1872 Issue 1 that I hope you read & enjoy :)

whistling dixie by @starvels (1.4k, M)

“Well,” Steve says, voice rough. He takes in another of those sharp breaths and when he exhales, Tony feels it like the forge, billowing heat out into his chest. “Mayhap you best keep that dry, Stark.” He sounds like molten metal, like the best slather of butter over a butt of bread, sounds fair peckish for something more than trail gruel and he’s looking at Tony like Tony’s the place he’s gonna get it. Yes, Tony thinks. It is. Take it. Take me.

RATING: one cowboy (me) who is so, so hungry for stew now 🤠🍲

A masterclass in the 'Food as a Metaphor for Love' ao3 tag, I recommend to all who are hungry for a bit of domestic Western romance or a hearty desert stew. At least one of these appetites will be satisfied by the end of the story, I guarantee!

Blacksmith's Hands by @everybodyilovedies (3.3k, E)

Based in Marvel's 1872 Western Universe, where Tony is a blacksmith and Steve is the town Sheriff. Blacksmith Tony hears Sheriff Steve's birth date is coming up, and decides to give him the present he deserves.

RATING: the number one best birthday present Sheriff Rogers has ever received 🤠🎁

The sweetest, tenderest and yet slightly rough around the edges 1872 PWP you will ever see. I adore Steve and Tony's banter in this fic, the dialogue at the beginning feels like it could have been ripped right out of the comic book panels. And!! There is simply nothing more delightful than the simple intimacy of going from "Stark" and "Sheriff" to "Tony" and "Steve" <3

Unseen, Unheard by @oluka (1k, M)

Tony and Steve have a furtive encounter. Tony wishes they could have more.

RATING: a Sheriff rougher to ride and wilder to tame than a stallion🐎

I could scream forever!!! about the parallels in this story between Tony's alcoholism and his addiction to Steve! The tug-of-war push and pull of their facsimile of a relationship, the hurt that Steve's internal shame over wanting a man inflicts on both him and Tony, the habitual way that Tony debases himself to play up the drunken act and protect him and Steve from any prying eyes. This fic does a truly masterful job of imagining what intimate encounters between Steve and Tony may have looked like within the real confines of the American West.

Going Blacksmithing by @bladeofthenebula27 (1.5k, T)

Blacksmithing only brings in so much money in a small town like Timely, so Tony has to make a little extra money through less respectable means. The Sheriff doesn't approve.

RATING: the prettiest cowpoke you ever did see 🥰🤠

Genderfuck!Tony with a side of possessive Steve all in the year of 1872, what more could one possibly want? There's absolutely nothing more that I love across the multiverse than SteveTony getting to explore their femininity, and this fic brings that dynamic to 1872 absolutely perfectly! :D

BONUS!!!

1872 Meta/Propaganda by @ghosthan

RATING: one out of one new, lifelong 1872 fan (me! 🤠)

An INCREDIBLE primer on the 1872-niverse, including panel screenshots as well as comparisons to 616 characterizations and backstories! I can personally say that this 1872 propaganda is extremely effective (after all, it convinced me to read!!), and gives you juuuust enough information on 1872 to acquaint you with the setting, the characters, and the dynamics at play without simply spoiling the series. In my opinion, this is a highly underrated resource for anyone interested in trying 1872 out, but unsure what to expect.

#fic!#meta #1872 #1872 my beloved #stevetony #my employer's opinions #pinned #evrecs

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lovedreamer11 · 7 months

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What would have happened if Jace, Luke and Joffrey had never been born?

I was wondering how the canon would have changed if Rhaenyra had not given birth to illegitimate children? If she had been unable to conceive, Harwin would have been infertile, or Rhaenyra herself would not have wanted to risk to giving birth to bastards.

I warn you, I wrote a lot. These are just my thoughts.

Of course, the usurpation would have happened anyway. After all, without the Velaryon boys, Rhaenyra's eldest son from Daemon, Aegon, would have become Rhaenyra's heir. Otto would scream the loudest that any child with Daemon's blood was the devil incarnate.

But before that. I think Visenya could have survived. I will give my reasons. In canon, there was a slight age difference between Rhaenyra's sons. She literally gave birth to 5 sons over the course of eight years. There was a seven year difference between Viserys and Visenya. I think this was because, with five male heirs, Rhaenyra wanted a break from childbirth. But without three older boys, and with only two heirs, Rhaenyra could have become pregnant with Visenya earlier. As a result, Rhaenyra would have no problem carrying Visenya to term and giving birth to her. Most likely the age difference between Visenya and her brothers would be between 1-5 years.

Without the Velaryon boys, Driftmark has no heir. Such a vain and ambitious man as Corlys would never have given his life's work to Vaemond or some other distant relative. Corlys has two bastards, but Rhaenys is still alive. She wouldn't believe that the boys' father was Laenor. Corlys would have to make Baela his heir. To add legitimacy to her reign, Baela could be betrothed to one of Vaemond's sons. The age difference would not have bothered Corlys; his own wife is 21 years younger than him. Rhaenys would support her granddaughter. Rhaenyra too. After all, this is the heir to Driftmark became a person an who is loyal to her. Daemon would also not miss the opportunity to arrange his daughter's life.

By the way, Baela would become the heir to Driftmark, Aegon would be the heir to the Iron Throne, Daemon could try to arrange Rhaena’s life. In canon, the twins were only three or four years older than their brother. I don't think Damon would pass up the chance to make his daughter queen. Rhaena would have been betrothed to Aegon. Visenya would be betrothed to Viserys to maintain family traditions.

Aemond would have tamed Vhagar, but would not have lost his eye. Accordingly, there is one less conflict between the Blacks and the Greens.

Now let's look at the war. Rhaenyra did not experience a painful birth, meaning she was in relatively healthy physical shape and not under the influence of painkillers.

Rhaenyra's children would be too young to serve as messengers. Rhaenyra would send ravens with letters to the Baratheons, to the Vale and to the North. The Vale would certainly support Rhaenyra. Cregan also gave the impression of an honest man, especially since he himself was usurped by his own uncle. Borros is still a pig. He would have joined the Greens.

But the first blood would not have been shed, since Aemond would have had no one to fight with. Likewise, Blood and Cheese would not have killed Jaehaerys, and Helaena would not have gone mad. The main reason why Aegon went to the battlefield was his desire to avenge his son. But then no one had died yet and the conflict would not have escalated.

Would the Battle of Duskendale have taken place? It's hard to guess. Aegon was quite hot-tempered and he might have gotten tired of his grandfather's passive actions, but I'm not sure. If the battle had still taken place, then Aegon would have had no serious motive for his presence.

If Aemond went into battle alone against Rhaenys, the outcome of the battle would be uncertain. GRRM wrote that Meleys had a chance against Vhagar, but I don’t know if she could really kill Vhagar, after all, Caraxes had more experience than Meleys. There is also a healthy and mentally balanced Rhaenyra. The Blacks only have three adult dragons, she could forbid Rhaenys from going to Duskendale or she could fly with her. But I still think that this fight would have ended in a draw. In canon, Rhaenys understood that she could not escape, plus she could not miss her chance to kill the usurper. But one on one against Aemond, Rhaenys might not want to take the risk. If both Rhaenyra and Aegon had participated in the battle, then there would be two scenarios for the development of events. The first option is that Aegon could repeat his trauma from canon. Neither Syrax nor Sunfire have ever fought in battle before, but Syrax is still older and larger than Sunfire. Vhagar and Meleys would end in a draw. Second option, all four dragons injured each other, but no one died or was maimed.

In canon, Jace was the originator of two ideas that I didn't like. This is sending Aegon and Viserys to Essos and Dragonseeds. Rhaenyra might not want to be separated from her children or send them to strangers. So most likely, Aegon, Viserys and Visenya would either remain on Dragonstone or go to the Vale with Rhaena. Jayne is Rhaenyra's cousin, I think Rhaenyra could trust her with the safety of her children. So Viserys hasn't disappeared without a trace, Stormcloud is still alive, and Aegon hasn't abandoned his younger brother and fallen into depression.

Rhaenys and Meleys are still alive. And I refuse to understand how Daemon and Rhaenyra in canon allowed strangers to take the dragons. But since there was no Dragonseeds, Addam and his brother still live in the village, Nettie does not know Daemon and there was no quarrel between Rhaenyra and Damon, I don’t know and don’t want to know where Ulf and Hugh are.

The Triarchy would attack Driftmark. Most likely, due to the small number of dragons, Rhaenys, Daemon and Rhaenyra would have entered the battle together. Meleys and Caraxes are quite mature and dangerous dragons, Syrax was described as large and formidable. Most likely, all the dragons and their riders would have survived. And Rhaenyra would not have lost two sons.

Also, due to the low number of dragons, Daemon would decide not to capture the capital. And if Aegon had not been seriously wounded, then Aemond would not have become regent and would not have left the city unprotected. As a result, Rhaenyra did not have to deal with a bunch of angry, hungry and insane fanatics.

If Aemond could be lured out of the capital alone, then Caraxes, Meleys and Syrax would be enough to kill Vhagar. Afterwards, Daemon could be sent after Daeron. Tessarion is a young dragon, Caraxes would have easily killed her. With Daeron and Aemond dead, the Greens would only have Sunfire and Dreamfire left, and the Greens would have to try to start negotiations. Perhaps they even capitulated on the condition that the Blacks spare Aegon, Helaena and the children.

Let's try to summarize. Rhaenyra did not give birth to three bastards. The Greens can continue to call her a whore, but they will not be able to provide evidence of this. Rhaenyra's heir is practically a pure-blooded Targaryen, not a bastard boy who doesn't look like a Targaryen. Blood and Cheese will not happen. Rhaenyra will be healthy mentally and physically during the war. Rhaenys may survive. The Dragonseeds betrayal won't happen, and Rhaenyra and Daemon won't fight over Nettie. Most likely, Daemon will not cheat on Rhaenyra with Mysaria. The Shepherd will be a problem for the Greens, and if an attack on the Dragon's Lair does occur, then only Green dragons will be there.

This is all just my big theory. But please write how you think the dance would have happened if Jace, Luke and Joffrey did not exist. I'm really interested in what others think.

#What if #i mean only the book #not hotd #Dance of Dragons - AU #my thoughts #rhaenyra targaryen #asoiaf #fire and blood #dance of the dragons #team black

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hedonists-den · 2 years

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House Pig (part 2)

“Oh piiiiiggyyy…”, I say in a soft, singsong voice as I enter our bedroom. You stir slightly in your sleep, such a cute layabout you are. You slept in a little more than you normally do, recovering from such a massive, late-night binge the previous night. But, as you have become accustomed, whenever I come in to get you up, it’s time for breakfast. You roll onto your back and slowly prop yourself up, eyes still half closed with a half-grin. You still felt so huge and bloated, but strangely hungry at the same time…you wonder if you were truly so addicted to filling your belly, or if you were actually hungry. But it’s just a fleeting thought, you knew as soon as you heard my voice, you were about to be overfed to my content.

“Mmmh..good morning feeder…”, you say playfully, finally looking at me. I was looking over your full-figured, gorgeously-fat body with pure admiration, bordering on lust, and carrying four different-sized boxes from your favorite pizza place and a 2-liter. Just then, the delicious smell filled the room and you took it in. As if you weren’t already a little hungry, that smell seemed to pull your appetite from its slumber just as I had pulled you from your own sleep. You sit up straight, your pudgy belly rolling onto your soft thighs as a soft growl rumbles from your stomach.

“Mmm, good. It sounds like my greedy hedonist is already hungry. And after such a good feeding last night…”, I say with a grin, stepping up to the bed and setting the warm boxes in front of you. I climb onto the bed and sidle up beside you, placing a hand on the side of your cheek and leaning in to kiss you deeply on the lips. You feel my index finger and thumb slowly trail down to begin gently caressing your double chin. It looked so good on you, your chubbing-up face; it was adorable. “You really seem to be adjusting to this lifestyle well, don’t you?”, I say, half-teasing while keeping my hand on your double chin.

“Only because you won't stop spoiling me!”, you respond with a soft chuckle. It was true, you had fully leaned into the sedentary lifestyle you were now allowed to have after quitting your job. You really had no responsibilities anymore, no worries, no stress, just mindless indulgence and care-free living. Although, it was certainly having an effect on your waistline…just a few months of living like this and you were completely unable to fit into any of your jeans. You even tried on some of your work pants the other day just to see, and couldn’t even get them buttoned. What would your old coworkers say if they knew you were letting yourself become my personal blimp?

“Ohh, come on now, are you going to put all of the responsibility for THIS on ME?”, I say, reaching down to grip your belly roll. It was so soft, my fingers curling under that sensitive under-belly. Such a simple act, yet it causes you to gasp and moan softly. My fingertips rest right on some of your stretch marks under there, both of us able to feel those lovely signs of your recent gluttony. “Well, if you’re going to blame me for all this wobbling fat, I might as well make sure to take every bit of that blame, shouldn’t I?”, I say as I open up the top box, revealing a full order of cheesy breadsticks. It smells so good, so savory, you’re ready to gorge yourself. You’re ready to get so stuffed that you can barely move.

I take a couple breadsticks from the box and stack them on top of one another, placing one hand behind your back to grab one of your back rolls. “Now open up, my greedy piggy. You have a lot of eating to do…”, I say while bringing the cheesy bread to your lips. And of course you’re going to obey, aren’t you? You part your lips and open wide, placing your hands on your belly and jiggling it. You know how to get to me, there’s never any doubt about that. Seeing you so eager to begin filling your belly drives me wild, and you know that. You know that the more you entice and tease me, the more full you’ll end up when I’m simply too overtaken by lust to stop stuffing your face. I watch you shake your empty, chubby gut for a moment before I push the calorie-rich bites into your mouth, one by one, until the whole box is empty. That had to be a record…you were so insanely gluttonous and I was so relentless in feeding them to you, it was impressive. A little more marinara left, I place the cup at your greasy lips and pour the rest of it down your throat before tossing the empty box to the side.

“Mmm…so hungry this afternoon, aren’t you? Wow…”, I tease, patting your dense belly and admiring you. Just one course in, crumbs and a little sauce on your face and down your torso, we were just getting started. I open up the 2-liter and offer it to you, letting you take it and drink to your content. A few gulps later, and a cute belch to punctuate the first course, I open up the next box, and position myself behind you. The next box sitting warm on your lap, you knew just what it was: your favorite pasta bowl. I run my hands up your sides, sitting behind you, your wide hips pushing my legs apart. “Go on…dig in, baby.”, I whisper into your ear as I grope and caress every soft roll on your body.

You have hardly any time to moan before pulling the bowl right up to your face and begin to shovel the pasta into your greedy mouth. You might as well be oinking, the way your face is buried in this trough of a bowl. One would think you hadn’t eaten for days, the way you stuffed your face. “God, just look at you…no wonder you’ve gotten so gorgeously plump…”, I say in your ear, kissing the side of your neck while grabbing your love handles. My hands explore your body, feeling every softened part of you that just keeps growing. Your thighs, your burgeoning gut, so many rolls developed recently, it’s ridiculous. Even the fat pad right below your belly was taking over the area where belly and thighs meet.

It was becoming shockingly clear how ravenous your appetite had become, polishing off the pasta bowl before either of us knew it. And just in true-glutton fashion, you dip your fingers into the bowl and lick them off, not letting the tiniest bit of food remain. “You’ve MADE me so greedy…so plump…I just can’t stop myself anymore. I’m addicted and it’s all your fault…”, you say after letting out a labored exhale from finishing your second course. Right for the 2-liter you go, sucking down all the sugary, empty calories that stretch your stomach. They say drinking your calories really packs on the weight quickly, let alone when you’re drinking your calories AND eating excessively.

I reach around and pat your slightly-bulging stomach, feeling that it’s getting a little tight. I chuckle softly, knowing that we have a whole pizza to still get stuffed in there. “You aren’t getting full yet, are you? I know your appetite is bigger than that.”, I say as I rub small circles over the surface of your belly.

“No, I’m still so hungry…feed me more…”, you say, grabbing the pizza box yourself and leaning back against my chest. I take the box and put it to the side before grabbing a couple pieces of the greasy pizza and stacking them just like the breadsticks. From behind, I start to feed you while I jiggle your cellulite-covered thigh.

“Look at all this. So much wobbling fat you’ve piled on, everywhere on your body. Your hip bones are so deep under there…”, I practically moan as I tuck my hand under your belly roll and gently squeeze where your hip bone would show, if it weren’t so buried in fat. “What’s going to happen when you get too fat for me to reach around you from here, huh? Just imagine how massive I will have made you by then…”, I say, taking two more pieces of pizza to stuff in your mouth. “You’re already my docile, addicted, fat pig. At this point it’s only a matter of time before you can only waddle around, jiggling from the bottom up. You want that though, don’t you? I can tell you do…”

You begin panting slightly, the arousal getting to you just as much as the fullness, and you’re only able to utter a submissive “Fuck…I do…”. You had already consumed thousands of calories, with more to go. You know that every bite forced into your body will only make it bigger, softer, and heavier. As sedentary as you had become, there was no chance of any of these calories to be burned off, other than the bare minimum it takes to keep yourself functioning. Every single day you give in to me, you sink deeper and deeper into obesity, deeper and deeper into the lifestyle of a kept and fattened pet. And it was making you so embarrassingly horny right now, with my hands on you, feeding you and teasing you.

“You’re so good when you give in. There’s no reason not to, is there? You know this hot for both of us, you know how good you look when you’re so spoiled and enabled, so big and pampered for me…”, I say, slowly sliding my hand below your belly, between your thighs, encouraging you even more. You inhale deeply, feeling me tease you in this way, just to drive you into such a pleasure-filled state. Your mind had become so conditioned to associate eating and a full belly with ultimate pleasure and satisfaction, it’s no wonder you had become so wide and heavy. It was arousing enough to be such a glutton on your own, but now, with me enabling you so hard, it was orgasmic.

“You’ve enabled me so much, I basically- Nnh…have no choice but to grow…I need it- Mmph..”, you moan before I push another bite into your mouth to finish your sentence. You swallow it down quickly, one would think you hadn’t eaten through two boxes already. “God, you really want me waddling…you really want me- Mmmm…so fucking huge…”, you moan.

“Mmm, you know I do…I just can’t stop feeding you, you’re right. I’m addicted to how your body looks when it’s so overfed, so spoiled. I need more just as much as you do…”, I whisper before feeding you the last two pieces of your extra large pizza. Another box gone, I toss it to the side and slide my hand over your engorged stomach. I can feel how full you are. It’s dense and rounded out, but as I pat it gently, your lower belly still wobbles. Even stuffed nearly to the brim, your body was fattened up enough to jiggle. “So good…”, I say with an air of reverence while running my hand over your belly, over your rolls while my other hand continues to urge you deeper into this scene of pure hedonism. “You’ve done such a good job, baby…only a little more and you can cum for me.”

You let out a soft groan, feeling pretty full at this point, and so bloated with all the greasy calories and sugary soda filling your gut. But there was one last box, one last delicious hurdle to finish before you could have your reward, and you had a feeling of just what the last box held for you. You lazily open it, finding exactly what you expected, and honestly, were excited for: a big cookie pizza. We both knew you had an immense sweet tooth, and I was all too keen on satiating it.

You lean forward a little to fully take the box, groaning and straining to do 1/8th of a sit up. Once you have it, you let all your weight fall back into me with a grunt before you start pushing the sweet, dense pieces of cookie into your mouth. You could almost feel your clothes tightening by the second, with every bite…pants were getting snug within weeks of buying them. Shirts strained to hold in your doughy gut, love handles, and back rolls. You were growing exponentially, and you couldn't stop…you wanted to stuff your belly, you wanted to feel the euphoria of being blissfully full, you wanted to cum from being so good and gluttonous for me.

Your mind races and your body tingles with pleasure as I continue to stimulate you through your impressive binge. Your stomach was so tight now. You were panting, whimpering, moaning as you got the last couple pieces of cookie down. You push down the last bite and lick your fingers, revelling in what a hog you had been, and in a daze from how full you were. "All…*huff* *huff*…all done…fuck, I'm such a glutton for you…I need to cum, baby. I was so good…", you groan, struggling to keep your eyes open from the overfed state you were in.

"You were so good…you ate every single bite. Such a good piggy for me, you certainly deserve to be rewarded," I say, gently rubbing your swollen gut. You were remarkable, honestly. All 4 boxes, all 4 courses, stuffed into your greedy belly. "I knew you were my little glutton, but fuck…you really lost yourself in this feast, didn't you? You were fully indulgent. Just the way I want you to be…", I say as I grab your flabby belly roll and shake it just gently enough.

You lay your head back and take it all in. The fullness, my words, the knowledge that you had been ballooning and would continue to do so, and that I was enabling you so hard, it was enough to push you right to the edge. You moan, arching your back ever so slightly into me, and I can feel your thighs shaking and jiggling. I chuckled softly, knowing my horny little pig was close.

"Go on, piggy…I want to feel you cum for me. I want to feel how pleased you are with yourself for being such a gluttonous hog…", I whisper in your ear, only to be immediately followed with the shaking of your whole body, your legs quivering, and your voice trembling in an ecstasy-filled moan. Your orgasm makes the bed creak, so much weight shaking and moving, I can practically feel you blushing as I rest my hand on the side of your stretch-marks-covered side and hold your underbelly with the other. "That's it…that's my good fatty…", I say before kissing your chubby neck.

Your heavy breathing calms down as your orgasm subsides. You rest the back of your head on my shoulder, relaxed and letting your belly digest the obscene amount of food packed inside it. "You…you're going to make me unrecognizably huge…aren't you..?", you ask, with a slightly excited tone.

I smile and lovingly caress your thigh. "Your friends and family will be shocked to see you if we keep this up. Imagine the concern, when they realize just how much you've let me pork you up…", I say. In truth, it may have already gotten to that point, seeing the amount of fat you had gained recently. But both you and I knew: there was much more to come. You were my prize, trophy piggy. And I was going to make sure you lived the most hedonistic, self-indulgent life you could possibly have.

#feedism.#feedist.#fa #feeder.#feedism fic.#feedism fic #glorifying obesity #house pig fic

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strangechildproductions · 4 months

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Cult of the Hare

I don't think I'm going to post these to AO3 they are literally just tiny itty bitty one shots based on cult of the lamb and the AU that plagues my head, maybe once there's more of them, I'll post it to AO3 as one big thing but for now there's just little in game things that are not very long and are consuming my brain. Which I need to work on my projects so here, you guys take it.

The chains weighed heavy on deep blue hare’s wrists, he wore nothing but tattered robes as he walked down the line, guards behind him, escorting him to the four gods that towered high over him. In order of power, left to right there was a Bear in orange robes who watched almost sadly as Mxes moved to the pentagram in the center of the sacrificial chamber. A chicken in pink robes who seemed neutral, a wolf in red robes, she watched him with smug eyes, and finally a gator in green robes. He glared with hatred Mxes could easily match. As far as he could tell, he was the last rabbit to exist. The last of his kind. He was being sacrificed for some prophecy he didn’t even know about.

“ Finally, the last rabbit for slaughter. Now you the prophecy shall never be fulfilled,” The chicken said, the wolf nodded.

“ Alright let’s get this done then,” She agreed, “Freddy any words?” the bear shook his head, “ You gotta let that go man,” She rolled her eyes. The gator scoffed.

“ What did you expect falling for a mortal,”

“ Enough,” The chicken snapped, “ That was ages ago, and no longer relevant, that rabbit no longer stands before us, before us stands this one. The last one,”

“ Then we’re in the clear, the one who waits will remain sealed away, unable to reap the havoc he was destined to reap,” The wolf agreed again.

“ Kneel down Hare, so we may end this,” Mxes was shoved to his knees, he glared up at the gods that slaughtered his people and were about to slaughter him. His head forced onto the block that was soaked with the blood of countless rabbits before him. A large pig creature moved to him and lifted the ax high above Mxes' head. He sent one last glare to the gods, internally cursing their names, hoping this one who waits breaks free from their chains anyway and makes all of their efforts worthless. This was his last thought as the axe came down. It hurt. It hurt a lot but it was quick and he was in shock. He fell forward onto the hard ground. There was the sound of chains, Mxes pushed himself up a little, squinting against the blood dripping into his eyes, he could see something in the distance, something yellow, and blue. A yellow creature and a blue creature on either side of the path, both walking towards him. The yellow had a round head with seven points that fanned around his face. A pointed nose and freckles, he wore red and yellow robes. He had a staff that had the same eight points on it. Mxes scrambled away from them, the creature held up a hand to show it meant no harm.

“ no no no, don’t worry friend, we’re just surprised your here, most rabbits don’t make it to us, the worst is over friend, I promise,”

“ Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” The blue creature warned the yellow, “It’s a hare, you remember why he was cast out in the first place, yes?” The blue one also had a round head, but instead of points he had a dark crescent look down the middle of his face. Craters spotted the spherical surface and he wore a nightcap atop of his head. He wore blue robes, and carried a blade in the shape of a crescent moon. The yellow one frowned but didn’t argue. They both towered over Mxes, their forms tall and lanky, their eyes glowing, the yellow ones glowed white while the blue ones glowed red. Neither had pupils.

“ Come let’s get you to your feet friend.” The yellow creature moved to help him, Mxes ripped his arm free, glaring at the creature, it tilted his head at him, then gestured for Mxes go ahead of him, “ alright then, best not keep him waiting any longer then?” The blue one watched the rabbit pass him then followed before walking behind him. It reminded Mxes of the guards that had moments before walked him to his death. They followed a long path of white clouds, large black chains seemed to weave through the clouds as he approached another large room. Inside this space was another god. A god that Mxes only half recognized. About ten years prior the God of fate known as Eclipse had been cast out of the old faith. This was why they killed the rabbits in the first place. It was wearing chairs on its wrists and raised its head to observe the hare as he approached.

“ Fear not little Hare, I mean you no harm,” It said in a voice that was light and flowed through the air like a breese. Mxes felt himself relax, the creature was massive like the other Gods, like the yellow creature he had yellow triangles fan his face, but the left side of his face was darked out like the blue creature. It wore a set of robes yellow and red striped on the right side and blue with stars on the left. It had three eyes and a large grin. Its left eye was red, it’s right was a sky blue, the third eye on its forehead was a pale purple. All three pupils on the dark blue rabbit. “ They put you to death for a crime that you had not committed, that has not even come to pass. . . it’s not fair. . . is it?” it tilted its head as it continued to observe him, “ But there seems to be a crack in the damn, they tried to send you to the afterlife, but instead they sent you straight to me. . . And I have use of you, take my crown, and start a cult in my name, destroy the bishops that have chained me here, that have brought your people to extinction, Then you will return the crown to me and set me free, set us free,” He gestured to the two creatures behind him. Mxes raised an eyebrow, silently wondering what would happen if he refused. He decided not to find out, a little revenge felt well owed, he nodded, “ Good.” The god summoned a black crown with five points on it top, in the center was a purple eye, “ With this you will be granted some of my powers . . .” Eclipse God of fate explained as the crown was planted on his head, “ Good luck,” Mxes felt a jolt of power surge through him, his vision went purple then he was suddenly standing in the sacrificial chamber. He felt a fleece on his shoulders but paid no mind to it in that moment, he felt the crown disappear from his head and a weight in his hand, glancing down he saw it had turned into a sword.

“ THE HARES ALIVE!” A voice shouted.

“ WELL KILL IT STUPID!” Mxes raised his gaze to the cultists running into the room, swords of their own. He grinned and twirled the sword in his hands experimentally to gauge the weight of it before he charged, ready to shed some blood of his own.

#fnaf security breach #fnaf security breach au #moon #sun #monty gator #glamrock freddy #glamrock bonnie #glamrock chica #MXES #Eclipse #roxane wolf #Cult of the Hare #Cult of the Lamb #Cult of the Lamb AU

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missszena · 19 days

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I haven't been able to stop thinking about this since last night. I need to say something about it.

Last evening, at the time of writing this, I was almost killed in a high speed collision on the highway because of my mom's Trump stickers.

I'm unfortunately stuck living in a conservative household due to the fact I'm too broke to afford my own place. I'm a college student surviving off of cheap fast food and forced to hide most of my true beliefs and play along because if I don't then I'll be out on the streets. The one time I voiced my pro-palestine support I was cornered by my mom in my room who wouldn't leave me alone, shaming me and basically implying my jewish ancestors who fled from Poland to the US during the holocaust would be ashamed of me, and when I literally had to shove her out of my room to get her to leave me alone I overheard my grandmother downstairs implying I should be thrown out.

If I don't keep my head down and pretend I'm at least neutral on their conservative ideals I will lose my housing. I won't be able to afford my guinea pig's food and bedding or have a place to keep him. I won't be able to finish college since I wouldn't have steady internet.

Last night, two people followed my mother's car from the city on our drive home from a traveling museum exhibit while making various gestures and yelling their disapproval of Trump (though I couldn't hear it through the car windows I could see it). At first they were just being mildly irritating, preventing my mom from changing lanes by trapping her behind a slower car, and I was about to convince her to leave them alone since they weren't doing any harm.

That was until they attempted to run her off the highway.

They sped ahead of us right into the middle of the road then slammed on the breaks, giving her either the split second window to also hit the breaks or either swerve off the highway/into the slower driver, or collide with them if she wasn't fast enough. Thank every fucking god in the universe she was quick enough to hit the breaks and just barely miss running right into them at over 70 miles an hour.

I could have fucking died because these two people assumed I was also a Trump supporter.

I, a queer person unable to leave a conservative household, could have fucking DIED because I can't get away from my Trumpie family members and they're my only housing (my dad spends most his time out of state).

Please for the love of fucking gods do NOT assume someone's beliefs based on the people they're with. You don't know if that kid with the parent wearing a MAGA hat is someone genuinely being brainwashed into conservative ideals or is stuck in a household they can't get out of. You don't know if that teenager being dragged along to evangelical churches or brought to Trump rallies is there of their own free will or if they just have no choice in going. You don't know if that young adult in the car covered in republican stickers actually supports those ideals or if they're struggling to afford to survive and have no other choice but to put up with conservative bullshit to not end up homeless.

If something goes wrong, like it almost did that day, you could have very well hurt a closeted queer kid, a struggling ally, or turned a potential ally away from you by threatening their life and safety which gives their conservative friends or family "evidence" to point at and say LOOK AREN'T THE LEFT SO AWFUL??? AREN'T THESE PEOPLE THE WORST??? THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO US!!!

This is in no way me saying I support conservatives. I don't. But I support people who can't get away from them either due to their age or the fact its fucking impossible to buy your own house these days even if you aren't also trying to get through college.

Please don't make those assumptions. Please don't let them motivate you to almost seriously harm or nearly kill someone. You don't know who's in the passenger seat.

#important #psa #please read I know its long

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saint-siren · 2 years

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I don’t think Alucard would turn anyone, not even out of loneliness, to be honest. I firstly don’t think Alucard as someone who is a dhampir can ever completely relate to the vampires because he’s just as much human as he is a vampire. He shows disgust at the evidence of the Belmonts killing vampires, yes, but that to me is just because he has basic empathy and respect for what is the other half of his heritage, not really because he feels kindred to other vampires on a personal level. He has no vampire friends, doesn’t seem to be even acquainted with his father’s court and kills them without hesitation. Hell, he doesn’t even seem to know other vampires.

As much as Alucard deeply loves and respects his father, I can’t imagine his connection to Dracula, the emotionally constipated vampire, would ever be the same as his level of connection to Lisa who was very open even from the first time we see her on screen. He takes after his mother more both in appearance and moral compass. He feels a lot of guilt for killing Dracula whom he loves, not just for the sheer fact that he’s had to kill someone dear to him, but also because of his mother (I can’t properly phrase it properly but you get it). Lisa loved the humans very deeply and I can’t assume that he wouldn’t have grown up inheriting a bit of her attitude towards them due to upbringing or at least being very slightly more biased towards them than to vampires due to his affection for Lisa.

I know people like to characterize Alucard as being more vampire than human (which I get yk because vampires sexy and it’s more interesting to some people to view him that way) but in all reality, he’s nothing like any of the other vampires we've seen. Their relationships with and to humans do not share many similarities. He does seem to see both Sypha and Trevor as equals. Lenore, even though her relationship with Hector seems to deepen, is not one based in equality and empathy. Striga and Morgana don’t see humans as equals, they don’t engage with them in relationships at all, to them they are a totally different species – like pigs to humans, is the analogy I think they used. Dracula cared for and saved Isaac but even though he calls Isaac a friend, their relationship more resembles a loyal knight and the lord who commands him. And Isaac himself seems to also put Dracula above himself. Carmilla is all violence when it comes to humans. Moreover, Alucard is not at all phased by the fact that T*ka and S*mi literally come to him - a half vampire, for help with…killing vampires. Alucard is unable to be fully human, to fully relate to other humans but that doesn’t mean he isn’t turned more to that direction.

I think for as much as Alucard understands his father, he doesn’t necessarily fear becoming him. Trauma after trauma, he’s still self sacrificing and mostly motivated by good intention, even when he slips into behavior that resembles his father’s, he’s still quite quick to show concern for others and be helpful. More than being motivated by his own wounds, he’s motivated by his own view of what is right. When he looks in the mirror at the beginning of season 4 and sees who he currently is, the entire joke is that he’s supposed to be horrified at having “become his father” but he’s more horrified at the fact that he's become Trevor in the worst way possible. More often his loneliness doesn’t amount to selfishness, it amounts to self harm (ex. isolating in the castle instead of figuring out some way to move the materials his father collected elsewhere or securing it in some way so that he doesn’t have to stay in the place where he murdered his father).

Alucard is a very deeply lonely character but he’s also one of the most self sacrificial and emotionally masochistic and self flagellating characters I have ever seen (aside from Isaac). People have already said that the reason Alucard stayed in the sad, demolished castle even after everything was over was more for his own isolation as punishment than it was for practical reasons and I agree. Emotionally, Alucard is much more restrained than his father, he’s also stronger in some respects. On some level, he thinks it’s his responsibility to be. He shouldered the burden of stopping his father and then dealing with the aftermath of that. Then with protecting what his father cultivated…and then helping humans kill a vampire in no small part because it’s what he thinks his mother would want and the right thing to do. This enormous loneliness he carries, it’s also something like a duty to him, a punishment, something he dives head first into.

Lisa never becoming a vampire was likely more her choice than it ever was Dracula’s. With his hatred for all humans aside from her, I don’t see why he wouldn’t have jumped at the chance if she wanted it. I doubt he simply cherished her humanity so much he came to the conclusion on his own, to him she was quite different from other humans and that was her draw. There's also the fact that Dracula was so attached to her, I can’t see him not being tempted by the idea of not having to spend his eternity alone, being able to share it with his beloved. I hc that it was Lisa’s desire, Lisa loves humanity and is rather passionate about other humans. She had little incentive to want something different. She strikes me as someone who would embrace growing old and even embrace dying at an old age. Lisa never got to do that, she never got to grow old and I think somewhere in him, there would be that inability to turn someone and effectively rob their chance to grow old or to go out like they wanted to, like what was done to Lisa. It’s not that he thinks Dracula not turning Lisa is the reason for what happened, it’s the way she went out. When he talks about the tragedy of his father’s madness, he doesn’t remark upon it by implying it was in any part due to either Dracula’s or Lisa’s decision not to turn her, he instead blames the religious inquisition who killed his mother and in turn proved true Dracula’s greatest misgivings about humanity. It’s not simply that his mother died that impacted Dracula so deeply, it’s the fact that she was killed, taken before her time. If she had lived as long as she was supposed to, there would have been no reason for the entire central conflict. Aside from that, nobody wants to lose a beloved parent at the tender age of 19, (no one wants to lose their beloved parents at all but especially not at an age where you are still realistically in need of a lot more support from them) it’s a similarly devastating but entirely different ordeal as losing them when you’re in your 50s-60s.

I don’t think Alucard would see the people he loves age and die and wish they could be eternal, I think he’d see the people he loves age and wish he could age right along with them. When you’re immersed within a culture, it’s more likely that you’ll want to be more like them than you’ll want them to be more like you, if that makes sense, especially if it is a dominant culture which seems to be the case with humans vs vampires. Alucard only has human friends and now an entire village of humans that will probably remain for generations. He identifies with his mother heavily as I said, already sharing some of her same views/morals and I could see him sharing more of her sentiments towards life too. Rather than “someone wants to live eternity with me”, for him I think what would be most appealing is “someone wants to grow old with me, someone would want to die with me and if I suffer from losing them first, I know there will be an end”. He’s surrounded by humans so they become the norm, he knows no vampires so I can’t see their side of life really appealing to him more than that. Besides, vampirism will not eliminate the possibility of watching someone he loves die, almost all the vampires we know of died/were killed…some of them fairly easily comparably and by humans at that. At most you could say that it reduces the chances by a great amount but even Carmilla was killed despite her viciousness and strength by ONE singular human (Isaac wasn’t the one who finished her off but it’s all but flat out said that if Carmilla hadn’t ended it, he would have). Dracula himself wanted to die after Lisa was killed, Alucard knew that and was the one who called him out on it. Even in his rantings about his hatred for humanity, Dracula never mentions that he never turned her as a regret he harbors or implies that he should have done so, even if it was ultimately what he desired. He’s even annoyed at Carmilla for suggesting otherwise. His desire at that point was to die like she had.

Alucard is a very guilt ridden character, one who is very morally driven as I’ve said over and over in so many ways. I think he would view turning someone even at their will as being immoral. Besides that, what's next afterwards? What if it has the opposite effect entirely, they regret such a big decision and end up turning away or growing apart from him? What if they live a horrible life and suffer mental anguish from suddenly being an entirely different creature, one of the creatures who stalked and terrorized their kind at that? That pain is lasting and Alucard is far too empathetic to take something like that in stride with no regrets. “Better off dead” is a sentiment that Alucard is all too familiar with. I don’t see him ever being able to let go of his own sense of morals to cope with his loneliness, I don’t see him being able to indulge that selfish desire.

#alucard tepes x reader #alucard castlevania #adrian tepes #alucard tepes #castlevania #adrian fahrenheit tepes #castlevania headcanons

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daily-ish-syndicate-headcanons · 8 months

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attempt two because i accidentally sent the first one too early!

piercing headcanons because i was thinking about my own and then the brain juices started rolling in:

Phil used to have piercings. he got his ears pierced while he and Techno were still in the early/mid stage of their friendship. the two have matching emerald earrings, Phil's was a stud and Techno's was the dangly kind, but he also had a stud, for when he needed to make sure his earring didn't tangle in his hair. after awhile of having his ears pierced though, Phil began to notice his ears would be sensitive whenever he took the earrings in and out, when he would swap them. eventually, they started getting less sensitive and more painful. so, he let his piercings close up, switching his emerald stud with Techno's dangly one. he took the dangly earring, and changed it to where it was no longer an earring, but instead little charm, that he could put on his hat, on a bag, any of those. he only ever got his ears pierced, and he let those close up as they got too painful to handle.

Techno has had piercings longer than Phil. he did most of them himself, but he has let Phil help him in the process, making sure he didnt pass out afterwards [especially with the ear piercings, those things make you dizzy afterwards. i dont know about any other piercings, but ear piercings definitely make you dizzy] ect. he has studs, dangly earrings, all the earrings you can imagine. most of them are gold, though there are a few that are made of silver, and the matching emerald he has with Phil. he has a nose piercing, he used to wear those clunky, silly rings in the middle like how people often depict bulls having, but changed to a golden stud with a red jewel in the middle on the side. yes, he may have a pig snout, but he can still have nose piercings, okay?

Ranboo.. okay, I know this might sound weird, but in my [personal] design of him, he has a small eye of ender hanging from their ear. yes yes, i can hear you now saying "but eye of enders are made from enderpearls, and those are dropped by endermen when you kill them" yes, i understand that its weird to have your species loot as an earring, but it looks nice, and honestly, how about we think of it as a tribute to dead endermen or something. anyways, other than that earring, he has black studs and sometimes, they wear funky little earrings. i like to imagine he and Niki share a jewelry box, and they both have a collection of cute little earrings, like cat paws, rainbows, flowers, ect. just cause theyre cute. Also they have sensitive ears. Can't wear certain earrings, like cheap ones or copper ones.

Niki's got nose piercings and ear piercings. She's got a simple stud on her nose, which she'll sometimes change out with a little gold ring. She's got cartilage piercings, lobe piercings, all that jazz. She mostly wears those cute earrings both she and Ranboo own, the ones the two share. She sometimes wears small hoops on her ears. Most of her jewelry is silver, though she does have some metal and gold ones here and there.

Connor is not to be trusted around needles. No piercings for him.

ignore this

extra space

i seem

to be

unable to

delete it

phil fs looks back on his piercing phase like people look back on their emo phase

proud to say that out of the three piercings ive gotten (first and second lobe and helix) i’ve never gotten dizzy 💪💪 also i love the idea of techno with lots of piercings (especially a septum piercing i think its so silly)

ranboo is so real for the sensitive ears thing (sensitive skin haver right here, i literally cant wear anything other than sterling silver or gold i hate it)

niki and ranboo fs match piercings i lobe them theyre so siblings

Do Not Give Connor Needles

i am pointedly NOT ignoring the extra space (L)

#daily ish syndicate headcanons #dream smp #dsmp #the syndicate #technoblade #ranboo #nihachu #philza #syndicate #tw needles #tw piercings

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iamapoopmuffin · 7 days

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Powerpuff Girls episodes explained badly

Monkey See, Doggy Do: Everyone is a dog and/or naked.

Mommy Fearest: The girls try to turn some lady they just met into their step-mother and regret it immediately.

Insect Inside: Bugs are gross. Or are they?

Powerpuff Bluff: Cosplay for crime reasons. And to look cute.

Octi Evil: Bubbles trusts in her plush toy when it suddenly starts talking to her like one of those imaginary friends that tells you to burn things. It goes as well as you'd expect.

Geshundfight: There's too many people on this earth, we need a new plague.

Buttercrush: 1 1/2 year old develops crush on 17 year old who uses her crush to manipulate the shit out of her.

Fuzzy Logic: You don't touch another man's banjo. Ever.

Boogie Frights: An endless disco party ends in Bubbles turning off her targeting computer and blowing up the Death Disco Star

Abracadaver: Zombie magician comes to town and does zombie magician stuff.

Telephonies: Crank calls lead to the one moment in the entire cartoon my family constantly quotes, literally any time anyone says 'him' in any context. Also we learn how HIM stays so fit!

Tough Love: HIM farts on the entire city and it makes everyone hate the Powerpuff Girls.

Major Competition: Pretty much the exact kind of thing I'd expect Jeff Bennett to voice comes to town, kicks a puppy and gets praised.

Mr. Mojo's Rising: Mojo reveals he is both the Professor's former pet and the technical other parent of the Powerpuff Girls.

Paste Makes Waste: Be careful who you bully in kindergarten because they might eat a radioactive fly and become giant glue monsters.

Ice Sore: It's a hot summer's day and gee whiz, Blossom sure blows!

Bubblevicious: Bubbles is hardcore.

The Bare Facts: Your typical 'no-one's account is fully accurate as they piece together the story' story, but with crayon drawlings and a naked old dude.

Cat Man Do: Evil cat possesses the professor and does evil cat things.

Impeach Fuzz: Fuzzy becomes the perfect mayor. Crime is down 100%, the Powerpuff Girls now get called to catch pigs.

Just Another Manic Mojo: Mojo Jojo's morning routine ft. annoying children.

Mime For A Change: Clown steps into oncoming traffic, gets covered in bleach, causes an environmental disaster and ruins everything.

The Rowdyruff Boys: Rule 63 the episode.

Uh Oh Dynamo: Kaiju vs murder robot. The city loses.

Stuck Up, Up And Away: Spoiled brat tries to buy superpowers, like Batman.

Schoolhouse Rocked: Teenagers who were abandoned in a dump before ever going to school meet a truant officer who becomes the first person to ever care about them, then go to school and get expelled on the very first day.

Collect Her: This is you, you obsessed freaks.

Supper Villain: Man gets sick of pancakes for breakfast and lives out secret supervillain fantasies. (Second most quoted line of the show in my family is here.)

Birthday Bash: Happy birthday, here's some death. Also why the hell is a 5 year old girl in a prison where every single other inmate is a grown man?

Too Pooped To Puff: When completely exhausted from their constant hero work, the girls tell the city to put a toaster in a bathtub full of water.

Beat Your Greens: These kids are so reluctant to eat the only good green vegetable that vegetable aliens arrive to teach them to stop being pussies.

Down n' Dirty: Buttercup refuses to bathe and it's fucking disgusting.

Dream Scheme: In The Sand Man you play as Sophie Grundler, a girl suffering from insomnia. Exhausted and unable to sleep, Sophie wanders into town to discover everyone else has fallen into an eternal sleep. Wait, wrong sand man-

You Snooze You Lose: Mojo falls asleep, loses some schematics and goes completely batshit insane. Then the girls eat gum that was in Junior's mouth earlier. Then probably get sick from Amoeba Boys germs again.

Slave The Day: Billy, who we thought was dead, pledges allegiance to the girls and Blossom yells at him.

Los Dos Mojos: Bubbles is Mojo now. But twice as hardcore.

A Very Special Blossom: Blossom turns to a life of crime.

Daylight Savings: Actual consequences to these small children having to go out at all hours to fight crime.

Mo Job: Mojo and Princess build a gun and shoot children with it.

Pet Feud: The Professor genetically engineers a neopet that eats everything.

Imaginary Fiend: A child's imagination is a dangerous weapon. And may tell the child to set the school on fire.

Cootie Gras: A kid who never bathes decides to play kiss chase. When that grosses people out, he gets used as a dangerous weapon.

The Powerpuff Girls Best Rainy Day Adventure Ever: The Powerpuff Girls play The Powerpuff Girls.

Just Desserts: Man's supervillain fantasy is adopted by his entire family.

Twisted Sister: The girls create a new sister who is severely disabled and then promptly dies.

Cover Up: Security Blankie the episode

Speed Demon: Back To The Future but scarier.

Mojo Jonesin': Mojo deals crack to toddlers

Something's A Ms.: Sedusa has sex with the Mayor so she can steal shit.

Slumbering With The Enemy: Mojo goes on RuPaul's Drag Race and infiltrates a child's sleepover.

Fallen Arches: Old People Fight Club!

The Mane Event: Blossom gets a new haircut and gets bullied. I like her hair like that though.

Town And Out: The Utoniums move to a new town with real world consequences for senseless property damage.

Child Fearing: Mojo babysits and regrets every decision that led him to that moment in life.

Criss Cross Crisis: Mandatory body swap story from hell.

Bubblevision: Bubbles has sudden sight loss issues and gets ripped to shreds for it. Also there are ants.

Bought And Scold: Princess' dad buys the city and she legalises everything, then gets robbed.

Gettin' Twiggy With It: Neglected trailer park kid abuses a hamster.

Cop Out: American Police officer attempts to kill three children. Nobody is surprised.

Three Girls And A Monster: Well, they aren't adopting it, but they aren't murdering it either.

Monkey See, Doggy Two: Everyone's a dog again except the girls, so they can beat the shit out of things still.

Jewel Of The Aisle: Cereal mascot tries to rob diamond.

Super Zeroes: Cosplay 2 electric boogaloo. Also who the hell trusted Blossom with a car?

Candy Is Dandy: What happens when you introduce sugar to children who aren't allowed sugar.

Catastrophe: Don't shove cats up your arse.

Hot Air Buffoon: The Mayor goes into the sky and punches people.

Ploys R' Us: The Professor sleep steals and the girls profit from it.

The Headsucker's Moxy: BRAINS BRAINS IT'S ALRIGHT, I'LL EAT THEIR BRAINS TIL THEY'RE ZOMBIFIED

Equal Fights: The Powerpuff Girls get brainwashed by a TERF.

Powerprof.: Embarrassing dad becomes superhero just to spend time with embarrassed children.

Moral Decay: Buttercup steals teeth and sells them on the black market.

Meet The Beat Alls: Mojo, Fuzzy, Princess and HIM form a band and live in a yellow submarine.

Him Diddle Riddle: HIM canonically has the power to end the entire world with a flick of his wrist but instead spends his time making the girls solve riddles to inconvenience them for shits, giggles and not having customers Karen their way out of paying for flapjacks.

Film Flam: Fake director tries to take advantage of impressionable young girls and it takes their dad in drag to stop him.

All Chalked Up: Butterfly HIM teaches Bubbles art therapy and then brings the therapy to life.

Get Back Jojo: Back To The Future again

Members Only: Big manly men have their masculinity threatened by little girls, then a giant dick joke from space voiced by Mr Krabs kills everyone.

Nano Of The North: Tiny robots eat your clothes

Stray Bullet: Squirrel with huge nuts becomes super squirrel after small child force feeds him chemicals

Forced Kin: Mojo has beef with some shiny silver dude

Knock It Off: Dexter's estranged uncle or something comes to town, makes a shittonne of artificial children to sell for profit and many of the children die.

Helter Shelter: Bubbles kidnaps a baby whale

Power Lunch: Teenagers with terrible diet have stomach issues.

Superfriends: New kid in town falls victim to peer pressure.

Keen On Keane: Girls, seriously, have you not learned your lesson about setting your dad up on dates with random women yet?

Not So Awesome Blossom: Blossom has an anxiety attack and loses all self confidence.

Power-Noia: The girls eat cheese before bed and have weird nightmares.

Monstra-City: Segregation is right.

Shut The Pup Up: The girls consider beating a dog to death.

Toast Of The Town: Babysitting an old guy who wants toast.

Divide And Conquer: A glorified maths lesson featuring amoebas.

Burglar Alarmed: The girls try to silently deal with a burglar because daddy is tired.

Shotgun Wedding: Fuzzy tries to marry Professor Utonium, then has sex with a pile of mud.

Save Mojo: Vegans ruin everything.

Substitute Creature: Ms Keane is sick and the girls learn they're racist against green people.

The Boys Are Back In Town: Oh yeah rule 63 is back and spikier.

Pee Pee G's: Mojo breaks into the girls' house and pisses on their bed. He faces absolutely no consequences for this.

Boy Toys: Boys don't like girls, boys like cars and weapons.

Seed No Evil: Frozen caveman steals sunflower seeds. This one feels like a really shit fever dream.

City Of Clipsville: The show runners take the absolute piss out of every fanfic writer in the fandom.

Lying Around The House: A lie gains sentience and fucks shit up.

Bubble Boy: Bubbles steals Boomer's clothes, identity and family.

A Documentary: Guy stalks children and tries to record videos of them.

Girls Gone Mild: Karens ruin everything. Again.

See Me, Feel Me, Gnomey: Jack Black a gnome creates communism through the power of music

Curses: The girls learn how to swear.

Bang For Your Buck: Kids compete in a life or death struggle to earn enough money for ice cream.

Silent Treatment: Silent movie kidnaps man and steals his voice.

Sweet 'n' Sour: Plushies rob entire city and get away with it because they're cute. Also they hate children.

Prime Mates: Brainless monkey ruins everything. Just like Twitter.

Coupe D'Etat: Sentient car is a homewrecker.

Makes Zen To Me: Buttercup joins a peace cult.

Say Uncle: The girls adopt a sasquatch and Utonium does not recognise his own brother.

Reeking Havoc: How do you fight a giant fart? Asking for a friend.

Live & Let Dynamo: Kaiju Robot is back and is committing crimes for fun.

Mo' Linguish: Mojo teaches a class at an adult education centre. Sadly it is not street dancing for self defence.

Oops, I Did It Again: Normal little girl AU

A Made Up Story: In which makeup is evil

Little Miss Interprets: Bubbles ruins a surprise party

Night Mayor: Another weird cheese dream but this time it's the Mayor dreaming about having relations with pickles

Custody Battle: HIM and Mojo have a messy custody battle in the middle of Townsville and both lose.

City Of Nutsville: Bubbles swallows a bee and squirrels kill everyone.

Aspirations: Sedusa takes advantage of a group of teenagers who have been abandoned by their mothers and also never gotten laid while also turning them into criminal masterminds.

That's Not My Baby: The girls find an abandoned baby and decide caring for it will convince their dad they're ready for a hamster

Simian Says: Mojo takes over the show

Sun Scream: PSA: Wear sunscreen.

City Of Frownsville: Man with terrible depression develops machine that cures his depression by giving it to everyone else

West In Pieces: Back To The Future 3, the wild west one

Crazy Mixed Up Puffs: Oh god they've fused

Mizzen In Action: Pirates of the Caribbean but less interesting

Roughing It Up: The Professor takes his kids on a camping trip and becomes rival dads with Fuzzy

What's The Big Idea?: The girls are made giant and it's a whole mess.

Nuthin' Special: Buttercup has no unique abilities. Any she had before are no longer unique.

Neighbour Hood: Children's TV show demands money.

I See A Funny Cartoon In Your Future: Gypsy and goose steal things along to a terrible rhyming narration.

Octi-Gone: Bubbles holds a fancy dinner party hostage to solve the mystery of the murder of her plushie, the one that told her to burn things.

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