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hintsofhoney · 3 years

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alright, *cracks fingers*. so. I’ve written up a transcript just to lay it all out for myself and get the most important parts. listen, everyone. for all intents and purposes and legal reasons, THIS WAS A DREAM. alright? I dreamt this. and he is literally the nicest human being ever so I don’t want to just like... put our whole convo out there like that, but I think he said some stuff that was important for people to hear so... here we go

my *dreamt* zoom call with thee crowley below the cut

The first five minutes (of my dream) was just a bunch of introduction stuff and talking about my favorite Supernatural seasons which eventually led to him telling me how they filmed the Season 8 finale (which they did over the span of three days, and in between takes the crew members were like dead silent, as to keep the moment going, which Mark thought was really cool. Said it was one of his favorite things they did on Supernatural.) Anyways, he eventually asked me if I had any questions, so, I’ll start there.

MARK: So, do you have any questions you want to ask me about aaaaaannyyyythingggg?

ME: Um, I guess the number one thing I wanna know… um, so, I know you can’t speak for Dean and I don’t want to talk about Dean because you’re not Jensen, but, there’s like a lot of questions I guess or subtext or whatever concerning Dean’s sexuality and what not, but I want to know about demon Dean and Crowley’s relationship and if there was, I don’t know, anything like, any implied –

MARK: Well I think – I think you’re talking about… there’s a massive difference between sex and love. There’s a massive difference between, um, well, they can intertwine perfectly, that’s not the issue, but I mean you would believe with all the things that Crowley did for the Winchesters, that he was – that he very much loved Sam and Dean or loved who they are or what they are. To reduce it to, you know, a crush, or to something that – I mean, I don’t know, I think Crowley is very probably pansexual more than anything else; I don’t think anything phased him. I think, that’s why the whole stuff with Lucifer and licking the floor was kind of really stupidly boring for me because Crowley did weirder and crazier things on his own. I mean, it became this joke of trying to humiliate somebody who can’t be humiliated. There’s nothing you can humiliate Crowley with. So, that never sort of made sense, that was just a sort of writer’s glitch of thinking, “oooh, this would be funny to knock him down into subservience” and that’s what he does on a Wednesday, I mean it’s like the most un-inspiring thing. I think so much is projected onto the relationship between, certainly the four main characters, um, and, you know, look, getting comfortable with one’s sexuality and one’s identity is a massively complicated things, and if you want to live vicariously through what you believe people’s identity is and you can relate to that, great! Who cares? I mean, can I be absolutely honest? Apart from – what I do care about, you know, don’t ever take this and piece me or misquote it, because it’s very, very specific – um, somebody stopping somebody being able to express their own identity or whatever is an issue for me. That will always be an issue for me. Um, we should all be treated equally, and we all have the rights to believe and follow those things that we wish to follow, but to project relationships onto characters is an odd thing to do. I mean, it’s wishful thinking in a lot of ways, I mean, actually it’s quite… it’s quite reasonable because in the past if you think about it, if you ask your parents or anyone else, the only way sexuality was used was to, uh, literally demonize somebody. It was only ever used to say somebody was bad because this who they’re in love with. You know, that’s, that’s the thing. And it’s a massive change in the world that we’re moving towards, I should say, uh – a lack of consequence for who one loves, apart from the obvious consequences of human nature. You know, political consequences for who one loves – I’ve just watched Pete Butteigieg being, you know, sitting in congress with his husband there with him; that’s the first time that’s ever happened in United States congress and I’m so proud of that. Not just because the man is gay and happily married – that’s not even the issue for me, it’s because he’s the best man for the job and one of the smartest people on the planet. You know, it’s like using sexual templates, as they were, or gender templates as they are, or orientation templates as they are, we always use to disclude people from things. They were always used to discriminate. You know, labeling somebody was a way of discrimination. And where as labels are very important, to ones self, and they’re very important politically and they’re very important socio-economically and they’re very important in all those aspects, I yearn for a time when nobody gives a damn. I really do. But I mean, we have to go through so much to get there. I mean, let’s be honest, you can’t, you know, right the wrongs of hundreds of years of oppression in 20 minutes by saying, “let’s all move forward”. It just doesn’t work that way, it never has. But there’s a responsibility there, that if you’re going to represent, that you represent all. That you don’t just represent you. So, one has to be careful with a television program or, or, you know, Misha or myself, or, not speaking for the boys, but just generally, um, you have to be careful that what you advocate is inclusive, not disinclusive. Not excluding people... and it’s so hard to frame these conversations, that they’re equitable, it’s so hard to do that. And so, you know, we spend years pointing out the inequity and the injustice and the unfairness of the whole situation, and… I don’t know if the trick is to rise above, or, uh, maybe it’s as simple as love and coming together as a human race and make it very difficult for people to discriminate and exclude based on gender, race, color, religion, any of the subsets of humanity that we’ve decided we have. So, I think personal responsibility is the most important thing, but if one is in a position of power on a TV show, you got to remember what you’re representing, that you have a, you know, you have to cover all or cover none. So, you know, but if you stick to a story and you have a story about a person or two people and their journey, that’s shining light on things. If you try to advocate for all, I think it becomes a little more complicated. Does that make sense?

so, i just feel like he said some important things there, but like I also don’t really understand what he’s getting at really, y’know? oh! also, he didn’t watch the finale lmao

also! there’s this:

MARK: Because if you come down on one side or another, you’re admitting the sides, and that has its own political ramifications. If you push the ball up in the air and say, “you decide”, I don’t think that’s copping out. I think that’s, maybe not fulfilling everybody’s expectations, or not fulfilling everybody’s hopes, but at least you’re getting the question asked. You know, at least you’re getting the question asked. At least people are relating to it and going, “well, what if?”. Because it’s all “what if”, I mean, it’s a TV show, so it’s “what if”, you know? It’s not Misha being in love with Jensen, I mean as much as he loves Jensen, I don’t think that’s his thing – I mean you never know – but I’m saying yet again, I don’t exclude anything from anybody (I LITERALLY CAN’T BELIEVE HE SAID THIS LMAO). But to force my opinion or my identity belief upon a situation has a cost. It may be right, it may be absolutely right, and it may be necessary in many, many cases. But, in that circumstance, I think… there are a lot of people in the world that say that Jesus, for example, was anti-homosexual and that he was – and none of that is true, and none of that is provable in the New Testament, and I’m not talking about Leviticus and I’m not talking about early Bible and I’m not talking about the fact that more than 25,000 words have been changed in the King James edition and all of this stuff, but these things that people hold so sacred, the confusion that arises from that is being told that a man loving a man or a woman loving a woman or a man loving a man and a woman or whatever combination being there is either right or wrong because you’re being told by a pastor or the leaders of your church, is a very difficult thing to break down. I think what you have to do is at least put it out there so it’s visible, and so it becomes less and less deniable. And you know, people change over years, that’s the trouble with youth, is shit doesn’t move fast enough. “I need a decision now!”, and unfortunately, when you’re dealing with centuries of prejudice and centuries of un-enlightenment, I think that sometimes the best thing to do is reach as many people as possible and pose the question. And sometimes it’s essential to make a statement, absolutely, no question. It is essential to make a stand, in some circumstances. But to polarize a TV show, can be very disingenuous to those who need to go ask their own questions, who need to go say, “well, where does Jesus say this is wrong?” you know, if that’s your beliefs.

he also said, when we went off on a tangent about doom patrol:

MARK: There are issues that are being addressed here [on Doom Patrol] that are not being addressed on other shows, and yet again, we have the format, and I don’t know that Supernatural ever had the format because it was on the CW.

anywho, in conclusion, fuck the cw.

also, again, for all intents and purposes this was a dream I had :)))))))

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writingwithcolor · 3 years

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Jurassic period alien interacting with key cultures and historical figures in Middle East & Asia throughout history

@ketchupmaster400 said:

Hello, so my question is for a character I’ve been working on for quite a while but wasn’t sure about a few things. So basically at the beginning of the universe there was this for less being made up of dark matter and dark energy. Long story short it ends up on earth during the Jurassic Period. It has the ability to adapt and assimilate into other life animals except it’s hair is always black and it’s skin is always white and it’s eyes are always red. It lives like this going from animal to animal until it finally becomes human and gains true sentience and self awareness. As a human it lives within the Middle East and Asia wondering around trying to figure out its purpose and meaning. So what I initially wanted to do with it was have small interactions with the dark matter human and other native humans that kinda helped push humanity into the direction it is now. For example, Mehndhi came about when the dark matter human was drawing on their skin because it felt insecure about having such white skin compared to other people. And ancient Indians saw it and thought it was cool so they adopted it and developed it into Mehndi. Minor and small interactions though early history leading to grander events. Like they would be protecting Jerusalem and it’s people agains the Crusaders later on. I also had the idea of the the dark matter human later on interacting with the prophets Jesus Christ and Muhammad. With Jesus they couldn’t understand why he would sacrifice himself even though the people weren’t deserving. And then Jesus taught them that you have to put other before yourself and protecting people is life’s greatest reward. And then with the prophet Muhammad, I had the idea that their interaction was a simple conversation that mirrors the one he had with the angel Jibril, that lead to the principles of Islam. Now with these ideas I understand the great importance of how not to convey Islam and I’ve been doing reasearch, but I am white and I can understand how that may look trying to write about a different religion than my own. So I guess ultimate my question is, is this ok to do? Is it ok to have an alien creature interact with religious people and historical events as important as they were? Like I said I would try to be as accurate and as respectable as possible but I know that Islam can be a touchy subject and the last thing I would want is to disrespect anyone. The main reason I wanted the dark matter being in the Middle East was because I wanted to do something different because so much has been done with European and American stuff I wanted to explore the eastern side of the world because it’s very beau and very rich with so many cultures that I want to try and represent. I’m sorry for the long post but I wanted you guys to fully understand what my idea was. Thank you for your time and hope you stay safe.

Disclaimer:

The consensus from the moderators was that the proposed character and story is disrespectful from multiple cultural perspectives. However, we can’t ignore the reality that this is a commonly deployed trope in many popular science fiction/ thriller narratives. Stories that seek to take religious descriptions of events at face value from an areligious perspective particularly favor this approach. Thus, we have two responses:

Where we explain why we don’t believe this should be attempted.

Where we accept the possibility of our advice being ignored.

1) No - Why You Shouldn’t Do This:

Hi! I’ll give you the short answer first, and then the extended one.

Short answer: no, this is not okay.

Extended answer. I’ll divide it into three parts.

1) Prophet Muhammad as a character:

Almost every aspect of Islam, particularly Allah (and the Qur’an), the Prophet(s) and the companions at the time of Muhammad ﷺ, are strictly kept within the boundaries of real life/reality. I’ll assume this comes from a good place, and I can understand that from one side, but seriously, just avoid it. It is extremely disrespectful and something that is not even up to debate for Muslims to do, let alone for non-Muslims. Using Prophet Muhammad as a character will only bring you problems. There is no issue with mentioning the Prophet during his lifetime when talking about his attributes, personality, sayings or teachings, but in no way, we introduce fictional aspects in a domain that Muslims worked, and still work, hard to keep free from any doubtful event or incident. Let’s call it a closed period: we don’t add anything that was not actually there.

Reiterating then, don’t do this. There is a good reason why Muslims don’t have any pictures of Prophet Muhammad. We know nothing besides what history conveyed from him.

After this being said, there is another factor you missed – Jesus is also an important figure in Islam and his story from the Islamic perspective differs (a lot) from that of the Christian perspective. And given what you said in your ask, you would be taking the Christian narrative of Jesus. If it was okay to use Prophet Muhammad as a character (reminder: it’s not) and you have had your dark matter human interacting with the biblical Jesus, it will result in a complete mess; you would be conflating two religions.

2) Crusaders and Jerusalem:

You said this dark matter human will be defending Jerusalem against the Crusaders. At first, there is really no problem with this. However, ask yourself: is this interaction a result of your character meeting with both Jesus and Prophet Muhammed? If yes, please refer to the previous point. If not, or even if you just want to maintain this part of the story, your dark matter human can interact with the important historical figures of the time. For example, if you want a Muslim in your story, you can use Salah-Ad-Din Al-Ayoubi (Saladin in the latinized version) that took back Jerusalem during the Third Crusade. Particularly, this crusade has plenty of potential characters.

Also, featuring Muslim characters post Prophet Muhammad and his companions’ time, is completely fine, just do a thorough research.

3) Middle Eastern/South Asian settings and Orientalism:

The last point I want to remark is with the setting you chose for your story. Many times, when we explore the SWANA or South Asian regions it’s done through an orientalist lens. Nobody is really safe from falling into orientalism, not even the people from those regions. My suggestion is educating yourself in what orientalism is and how it’s still prevalent in today’s narrative. Research orientalism in entertainment, history... and every other area you can think of. Edward Said coined this term for the first time in history, so he is a good start. There are multiple articles online that touch this subject too. For further information, I defer to middle eastern mods.

- Asmaa

Racism and Pseudo-Archaeology:

A gigantic, unequivocal and absolute no to all of it, lmao.

I will stick to the bit about the proposed origin of mehendi in your WIP, it’s the arc I feel I’m qualified to speak on, Asmaa has pretty much touched upon the religious and orientalism complications.

Let me throw out one more word: pseudoarchaeology. That is, taking the cultural/spiritual/historical legacies of ancient civilizations, primarily when it involves people of colour, and crediting said legacies to be the handiwork of not just your average Outsider/White Saviour but aliens. I’ll need you to think carefully about this: why is it that in so much of media and literature pertaining to the so-called “conspiracy theories” dealing with any kind of extraterrestrial life, it’s always Non-Western civilizations like the Aztec, the ancient Egyptians, the Harappans etc who are targeted? Why is it that the achievements of the non West are so unbelievable that it’s more feasible to construct an idea of non-human, magical beings from another planet who just conveniently swooped in to build our monuments and teach us how to dress and what to believe in? If the answer makes you uncomfortable, it’s because it should: denying the Non-West agency of their own feats is not an innocent exercise in sci-fi worldbuilding, it comes loaded with implications of racial superiority and condescension towards the intellect and prowess of Non-European cultures.

Now, turning to specifics:

Contrary to what Sarah J. Maas might believe- mehendi designs are neither mundane, purely aesthetic tattoos nor can they be co-opted by random Western fantasy characters. While henna has existed as an art form in various cultures, I’m limiting my answer to the Indian context, (specifying since you mention ancient India). Mehendi is considered one of the tenets of the Solah Shringar- sixteen ceremonial adornments for Hindu brides, one for each phase of the moon, as sanctioned by the Vedic texts. The shade of the mehendi is a signifier for the strength of the matrimonial bond: the darker the former, the stronger the latter. Each of the adornments carries significant cosmological/religious symbolism for Hindus. To put it bluntly, when you claim this to be an invention of the aliens, you are basically taking a very sacred cultural and artistic motif of our religion and going “Well actually….extraterrestrials taught them all this.”

In terms of Ayurveda (Traditional holistic South Asian medicine) , mehendi was used for its medicinal properties. It works as a cooling agent on the skin and helps to alleviate stress, particularly for the bride-to-be. Not really nice to think that aliens lent us the secrets of Ayurvedic science (pseudoarchaeology all over again).

I’m just not feeling this arc at all. The closest possible alternative I could see to this is the ancient Indian characters incorporating some specific stylistic motifs in their mehendi in acknowledgement to this entity, in the same vein of characters incorporating motifs of tribute into their armour or house insignia, but even so, I’m not sure how well that would play out. If you do go ahead with this idea, I cannot affirm that it will not receive backlash.

-Mimi

These articles might help:

Pseudoarchaeology and the Racism Behind Ancient Aliens

A History of Indian Henna (this studies mehendi origins mostly with reference to Mughal history)

Solah Shringar

2) Not Yes, But If Ignoring the Above:

I will be the dissenting voice of “Not No, But Here Are The Big Caveats.” Given that there is no way to make the story you want to tell palatable to certain interpretations of Islam and Christianity, here is my advice if the above arguments did not sufficiently deter you.

1. Admiration ≠ Research: It is not enough to just admire cultures for their richness and beauty. You need to actually do the research and learn about them to determine if the story you want to tell is a good fit for the values and principles these cultures prioritize. You need to understand the significance of historical figures and events to understand the issues with attributing the genesis of certain cultural accomplishments to an otherworldly influence. 1.

2. Give Less Offense When Possible and Think Empathetically: You should try to imagine the mindsets of those you will offend and think about to what degree you can soften or ameliorate certain aspects of your plot, the creature’s characteristics, and the creature’s interactions with historical figures to make your narrative more compatible. There is no point pretending that much of areligious science fiction is incompatible with monotheist, particularly non-henotheistic, religious interpretations as well as the cultural items and rituals derived from those religious interpretations. One can’t take “There is no god, just a lonely alien” and make that compatible with “There is god, and only in this particular circumstance.” Thus:

As stated above by Asmaa and Mimi, there is no escaping the reality the story you propose is offensive to some. Expect their outcry to be directed towards you. Can you tolerate that?

Think about how you would feel if someone made a story where key components of your interpretation of reality are singled out as false. How does this make you feel? Are you comfortable doing that to others?

3. Is Pseudoarchaeology Appropriate Here?: Mimi makes a good point about the racial biases of pseudoarchaeology. Pseudoarchaeology is a particular weakness of Western-centric atheist sci-fi. Your proposed story is the equivalent of a vaguely non-descript Maya/Aztec/Egyptian pyramid or Hindu/ Buddhist-esque statue being the source for a Resident Evil bio weapon/ Predator nest/ Assassin’s Creed Isu relic.

Is this how you wish to draw attention to these cultures you admire? While there is no denying their ubiquity in pop-culture, such plots trivialize broad swathes of non-white history and diminish the accomplishments of associated ethnic groups. The series listed above all lean heavily into these tropes either because the authors couldn’t bother to figure out something more creative or because they are intentionally telling a story the audience isn’t supposed to take seriously.*

More importantly, I detect a lot of sincerity in your ask, so I imagine such trivialization runs counter to your expressed desire to depict Eastern cultures in a positive and accurate manner.

4. Freedom to Write ≠ Freedom from Consequence: Once again, as a reminder, it’s not our job to reassure you as to whether or not what you are proposing is ok. Asmaa and Mimi have put a lot of effort into explaining who you will offend and why. We are here to provide context, but the person who bears the ultimate responsibility for how you choose to shape this narrative, particularly if you share this story with a wide audience, is you. Speaking as one writer to another, I personally do not have a strong opinion one way or the other, but I think it is important to be face reality head-on.

- Marika.

* This is likely why the AC series always includes that disclaimer stating the games are a product of a multicultural, inter-religious team and why they undermine Western cultures and Western religious interpretations as often (if not moreso) than those for their non-Western counterparts.

Note: Most WWC asks see ~ 5 hours of work from moderators before they go live. Even then, this ask took an unusually long amount of time in terms of research, emotional labor and discussion. If you found this ask (and others) useful, please consider tipping the moderators (link here), Asmaa (coming eventually) and Mimi (here). I also like money - Marika.

#alien character #historical fiction #science fiction #pseudoarchaeology #Middle-Eastern cultures #South-Asian cultures #Islam #writing with Islam #mehendi #cultural appropriation #areligious perspectives in writing #asks #WWC

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annavysoul · 3 years

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I can confirm, they introduced themselves as 3 readers and they made a post how Bee is leaving and starting their own channel. They even made a post to support it and linked the blog, that's how I knew of the Bee drama. But yknow whatever. But they shouldn't demonize those poor future apouses lmao, it's not gonna be them, or any of us.

Warning very long, I got carried away my bad lol

But the drama on tumblr is kinda mild conpared to Youtube "readers". At least the readers here on tumblr try to hide the fact, that they're describing themselves very well but yoooooooo.... Youtube readers are a different breed. Most of them are super young (12-13, but there are a handful of readers old enough to fucking know better) and just straight up describe themselves with no shame. I even found some who put pics of themselves lmao. Me and my friends like to go through readings and bet, who is describing themselves as a spouse. There is one reader who has over 30+ vids on Mrs. J, and most readings are like over 20 mins long. How much is there to know about a person, that doesn't exist yet??? But most YT readers are obssessed with the fact, that Mrs. J is from India, what a coincidence that the reader is also from India lmao. I'm not saying BTS wouldn't ever date someone from that country, I'm saying it's impossible to get a specific country, age, height, religion etc from tarot cards. The pics on the cards might give you clues and the cards can say that the person is different from you, but they go into way too much detail. And it's funny because they're always soooo specific for Jungkook and V, but for the other ones....crickets🦗 On one hand it's so sad bc you have these little girls, putting out their private info, looks and secrets for the whole world to see (these vids have thousands of views) and they don't really grasp the consequences of their actions bc yknow, their just children. The internet never forgets. But on the other hand, you have these grown women who, like I said, should know better than these little girls. Not only do they get so defensive if you don't 100% allign with what they said, they are borderline so obsessed of the idea of being a spouse. Like tf??? Bts aren't Gods. They're very attractive celebs, who's purpose is to entertain people with their contents and music (hence the word idol & entertainer), while they do feed into that perfect bf material scheme, it's up to the fan to not actually develop real romantic feelings (a celeb crush and being a stan is something very different). Most are actually fans for very superficial reasons, they just find them attractive, not the music. And if you take the glitz and glamour of fame and money away, Bts are regular human beings, with flaws and issues. Like. The. Rest. Of. Us. They only show you the best side of them, because it's part of the whole idol package. We truly do not know these people, no matter how sincere or authentic they appear on camera. Like so so many were suprised that they wanted to disband a few years ago, bc they couldn't handle the pressure. These readers always believe if they meet/marry them, their life is going to be better and they feel alive again or smth. Most of these readers actually need therapy, I don't mean that in a condescending way. They imagine that their spouse, a celeb they've never met, will be their sole reason for their happiness and only then they are able to fix their issues and unhappiness. That reeks of co-dependency. And even if they'd become couple and be public, then what? A really big big chunk of Armys are actually in love with Bts, no matter if they even know tarot or not (Armys usually claim that only 2% of the fandom are delulus but that's definetly not true🥴). You'd get send d*eath threats, be harrassed, get doxxed, be hated for all eternity, even if you'd decided to break up. Look what happend with Jk and the tattoo artist he only hugged. She lost her job bc Armys were reporting her, some were trashing her workplace, she got threats, her friends got harassed and doxxed and she lost a friend (Jk). Not only that, but people would legit stalk you and try to hurt you, if you were a romatic partner of Bts. Then you also have the tarot side, who'd try to curse youa nd paint you as the evil demon, who is toxic to member xyz. And I don't think you'd want to spend your entire life locked in your house. And I personally could never deal with like millions of haters, no matter how hot my partner is.

Yoooo! i search again in yt and watch a couple of videos... these are kids for go sake🥺🥺 where are their parents and why they let them public private infoooo?!? internet and children isnt the best combination...

and yess, theres also grown up women and thats really creepy, u can understand that children might do that cause they are young, BUT WHEN U ARE OLD ENOUGH, U SHOULD ACT BETTER!! and i insist, they just trying to prove to themselves and to the world that they are worth it to be with a celebrity, like yeah of course u are worthy, like any of us, but this is not the way u know? its weird, i dont think its sane at all, they just are using the cards to feel better, and thats bs. and if it is just a cope mecanism, plz work on yourself, get help, life its better when u are in a healthy place

also its interesting about mrs being from india and most of all the videos i watch where from indian armys, tarot doesnt work like that, yeah u can feel the energy that its different, perhaps different culture and think that maybe it could be a foreing, but the cards will never tell you something that specific, less if u dont even know in person the people you are reading for

we dont know them at all, and people put them in a such high pedestal just for being famous and hot, so i really have trouble to think that some tarot readers can pick their real energy, im a very intuitive person, but i need to be in the presence of the person to feel their real energy, so to be so specific in a reading they need to energise the cards with the energy of the person, they need to at least shuffle the cards and connect with the reader, sooo thats why i only see these reads as enterteiment, and its bad for the community to claim that we can see ALL of about them.

i'll never forgive the people who threaten the tattoo artist, poor girl, and thats why the guys cant have healthiest relationship, let them have a LIFE

#bts tarot #bts astrology #bts future spouse #mrs jeon #its so sad to think that they are wasting their youth and cant have friends cause some fans would harrass the people they love #like im only one year young than jk and jeez #they work so hard just to have people harass them bc they claim to be their future spouses?#mom plz pick me up #at this ratio all of us will marry bts #call me mrs bts now 🥴#no plz dont

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poursomesunaonme · 2 years

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UM HI??? WHY HAS IT TAKEN ME SO LONG TO WATCH MIDNIGHT MASS???? (good) ranting below the cut bc holy shit… *spoilers* do i need to even give a religion tw i mean…

so yall know i have oodles and oodles of religious trauma from my involvement w the church in high school so watching it has been a trip to say the least

also im obsessed with anything that mike flanagan has created the man rivals my obsession w david lynch SHIT

the hymns that they choose - phenomenal. i may not identify w the faith anymore BUT i love hymns and i was singin along like a mf fiend

but anyways imma do an episode by episode review bc im that neurotic

episode 1

i love it when creators have their fav actors/actresses, so seeing kate siegel, robert longstreet, annabeth gish, samantha sloyan, carla gugino, and henry thomas just really made me so happy! henry’s character design had him nearly unrecognizable and his accent too so whenever i realized i was like… u bastard ur amazing. he’s so talented! but i thought that this episode created a lovely setup about the show, with all the family and community dynamics. i heavily relate to riley’s dilemma about not going to church when he’s back home because of my estrangement from it all - and face it, my mom’s more of a bev than an annie (which makes the series a lot more… fun to watch because flanagan really hits the nail on the head when it comes to bev’s character). i’m hopping on the father paul is a hottie train because i have a thing for priests (hehe choo choo all aboard the trauma train!) but also that one sermon… wowza

episode 2

the homily that father paul gives… nearly converted me LMAO. NOT REALLY! but still i was like mans deserves an emmy for that. the whole crock pot luck scene had me in tears when pike died… like i haven’t finished it so i’ll let myself predict that it was bev bc she’s a big fat BITCH. continuing in the bev vain, riley’s exposé had me fuming with 1) taking money from the oil company and 2) using it for tithing like obviously she pocketed what was leftover from the community center. my parents give sO MUCH MONEY to the church like ??? i want an inheritance??? sorry im a bitch but its true lmao. but then his whole monologue about god and bad things happening and suffering had me bawling. my. eyes. out.

i used to be one of those people who believed that suffering was a good thing - i will reiterate that i was heavily involved with church activities in high school, staffing and planning retreats, giving talks, all that fun stuff (it’s fun looking back now because i see that it created a deep fear of intimacy in my heart hahahahahah). but hearing riley talk about it, and going on about how the townspeople especially suffer… woof that hurt. but the whole monologue was so well written, and so beautiful - i also appreciated how he has the whole view of the other side because he was born into and involved with the faith before leaving the island.

i think those kinds of views are one of the best perspectives because they really understand the church’s view and all. like with issues nowadays and with arguments with my parents, i can best them because i still somewhat know what i’m talking about. but watching other shows that explore catholicism just aren’t done right but this one… takes the mf cake. i can also really appreciate the imagery of the island being the faith and leaving it allows perspectives to change because it was what happened to me when i left my hometown to go to college. love how relatable it is.

episode 3

leeza’s miracle: had me shaking to my core, honest. my theory that i’m screaming into the void is that there’s some kinda blood in the chalice that heals her and is what’s healing everyone else. but moving on, whenever they go to sarah’s office and wade says something along the lines of “why can’t we just label it a miracle and be done with it” when sarah suggests testing that would actually benefit other people in leeza’s situation, it just blew my mind. and bev gatekeeping people from father paul (i guess it was alright since he was violently ill)… also for those of yall who dont know, priests aren’t supposed to be in a parish for more than like a few years so how the monsignor was there for so long… who knows. but the whole purpose is that the parish doesn’t get attached to the priests, which in a lot of cases happen and people move parishes after they leave, yadda yadda… but with the miracle and gatekeeping, it just goes to show you how attached they already are.

i simply adore how father paul’s confession telling of what happened to pruitt went - especially with the story of saul and the images of the stations of the cross… like christ it was amazing. and of course, bev has to be teaching about god in the public school. the whole conversation made my skin itch because it was like listening to my mom talk LMAO but i love hassan’s character and his view on it, and especially how the show explores his ostracization from the community because of his muslim identity. it made me sad to see how bev trampled on him and erin but i was like this is the christian’s world and we are sadly living in it lmao.

and HOLY SHIT LEEZA’S CONFRONTATION WITH JOE. in tears. in fucking tears. now i was not shot and paralyzed by a man but i was sure traumatized by him and when i tell yall that every word she said i have uttered to him. how my faith used to enable me to be beaten down by him i will never begin to comprehend (nor do i want to) but this scene just said it all and more.

riley and joe’s conversation really hit me so hard. no matter what happens, the town’s opinions isn’t going to change of them, and they know that. but when joe asks, “does it ever get any different for people like us?” i was bawling crying. because that’s how i feel coming home. all the people i used to know are still involved in the same old activities in the same old circles, and then there’s me. people know that i don’t go to church anymore; i mean i’m not crazy but i still feel like im ostracized in the place that i grew up in. i’m sure that my mom’s asking all her friends to pray for me to come back to the church and when i tell you that makes a person feel like garbage… when they all look at you with that pitying smile. like i know how it felt and i don’t want to go back there you can’t blame me.

the conversation between hassan and ali also had me emotionally deceased. ali made a great point saying that he didn’t choose to be muslim, i didn’t choose to be catholic; so wanting to experiment is valid. i love how hassan’s character is explored here, i was just disappointed in how deep. but his love for his wife *chefs kiss* im in love with him.

“if god really worked that way… if he decided that he was gonna heal some and not others”

tears… so many tears… the wounds of my grief dealing with my uncle really opened up and i was losing my mind about it because his death really began my distancing from the church and all. like he was so influential in my town and such and i started to think of all the deaths of people i knew recently… it all just hit at once man. it was a beautiful monologue and one that really hit close to home (too close if you ask me)

but yall would not believe my frustration when fr paul “died” i was screaming at the tv HES ASPIRATING TURN HIM ON HIS SIDE GODDAMNIT like not that it wouldve changed anything but if yall ever see someone throwing up on their back… for gods sake turn them on their side LMAO but i was like tf why did he die oh nvm we gucci continue on.

the religious parallels i literally cannot get enough on. flanagan deserves the gluck gluck of a lifetime for that.

episode 4

okay starting typing while watching now

ERINS BABY IS GONE?????? the fuck?? i dont remember if she drank the wine and i cant imagine she did but if she did then why did it make the baby disappear?

but her and riley’s prayer is so simple and so beautiful. and i love how they start the our father, the prayer that riley started after his accident but never finished.

riley’s monologue about death reminded me of how much im afraid to die lmao thats i think why i was so attached to religion was because it offered a comfort as to what occurred after death.

they finna be battling over this blood lmao love that turn and the significance of greed. kinda reminds me of how i compare my relationship with religion to an addiction heheh

NOT THE SLIPUP WITH JOE’S SISTER LMAOOO poor fr paul all mixed up w his old decrepit mind

ah yes monsignor’s hat and coat… oh yeah… its all comin together

SHIT ARE THEY ABT TO KILL OFF THE MAIN MF CHARACTER??? or even worse, make him into a pious freak? all will be revealed in the next epi

will i ever complete my wips…

episode 5

i was like i started recognizing henry thomas bc i was like are the characters getting younger - yes mildred is fuckin BANGIN’ get it girl

ayo FATHER PAUL SAYING THAT THE MILITARY SHOULDNT BE ASSOCIATED WITH A COUNTRY???????????? mans is speaking the language of my coochie

im hoping that bev grows an independent conscience but i know she wont

i LOVE how they wrote in the priest’s dramatic walk off after dropping a bomb ass homily it was so perfect

okay RILEY?????? im scared shits about to hit the fan - or theyre about to fuck, or hes about to lure her to the angel… or is he keeping her from it

i love how this is devolved to my insane neuron firings

just the little sprinkles of the bible, the whole “you know who i am” and the doubting thomas stuff i love it.

the series itself has kinda strayed from the original and old traditional beauty of church but im always invested in a mystery that flanagan produces

i just love that it has spiraled into putting things in the place of a proverbial god, i mean all things can become a “god” in their lives but this especially, and putting it under the guise of the christian god; so interesting. im not gonna read an article of an interview w flanagan that i found bc i dont wanna spoil it but im so intrigued as to what drove him to make this

also how people are only accepted into the flock once again when they have some spectacular miracle so to speak. like bev wouldve never looked at riley if he hadnt been changed

is riley gonna nom nom on erin orrrr…

their relationship >>>

WAIT HIS DREAM oh my god hes gonna wait for the sunrise. and hes gonna have his dream and hes gonna die

tara beth.

wowee ladies and germs here we are. erin greene redeems this show and i want so badly for her to escape the island because shes always had the best chance of living away from it but she wont so.

sarah is a fucking g. lets go lesbians.

yo if dolly’s crying… easter vigil is abt to be a mf sacrifice. everyones about to be “converted,” shall we say

im gonna fuck the sheriff

the procession to the church… the doxology… fucking art.

hassans like the one fucking time i go to church….

the angels like… lemme fuckin strut this aisle. its giving… moira during david’s wedding

millie was the g.

ed was the g.

well thank god leeza’s not in a wheelchair anymore

okay millie’s back i have a feeling her confrontation w sarah is gonna make me cry

i have a sneaking suspicion that ali’s gonna kill his dad

i hate how i say that all these people are dead like they arent coming back

annie the mf g though holy fuck.

“he wasnt exactly celibate” sarah is def monsignors kid theres no doubt abt that. how does it feel to have a heathen gay child father??????? hahahhahahahaha

yoooo bev’s retelling revelation with the blood dripping down her chin >>>

beverly, the budding arsonist

i really appreciate how bev’s whole rage over cherry picking god when shes the one that blows religion completely out of proportion. and thats the whole idea of it

“at that dinner, at that last dinner, i would’ve-“ “they know”

oh fuck. grief machine go brrrr. wanna hear me overshare bc i wanna overshare. the last time i saw my uncle my parents started a political discussion. yup. and then i left to see my friends. i dont even remember if i told him that i loved him. so holding in hope to leeza’s words with this one.

sarah… sarah sarah sarah… “it was a gift-“ “and [she] spat it out”

theyre gonna watch the sunrise burying sarah.

ali im CRYING

fuck bev literally half her words are from the bible yet she shoots hassan before he can finish one verse

oh my god erin clipping the angels wings. that is all. that is fucking all.

die alone bev watching all your manipulation burn

needless to say the second ali said “allahu akbar” i was shitting crying

bev digging her own grave like she had been the whole fucking time

and everyone singing together. hot damn flanagan sure knows how to end a series

and how else to end something with a jarring dialogue like “i cant feel my legs”

leeza, the impetus for the majority of the series, one of the most purely devout souls (i was leeza in high school going to daily mass every morn and so on), tells us that its all for naught, that it all wears off eventually.

flanagan you are blessed. idk if i can say that, but what a mastermind.

#🌼bean watches midnight mass #midnight mass #tw religion #🌼bean brain

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americankimchi · 4 years

Note

ok and I GET the concept of attachments leading to vulnerability and therefore weakness but to impose that on a CHILD who so desperately needs a family, someone he could bond with, its honestly tragic. and since qui gon isnt there to do it anymore it falls on obi wan, whos basically a kid himself, whos dealt with rejection his whole life, and how can you expect him to provide anything, much less mentor a padawan?? idk i just have so many FEELINGS abt this and can’t put it into proper words lol

okay you know what i think that’s on qui gon because why!!! would you make the decision to rip a child away from his home like that so quickly!!! i get that they were making a movie and thus needed to speed things along for pacing reasons but COME ONNNNN

i feel like if it wasn’t restricted for movie reasons it would have gone down very differently. difference being: hey, maybe we don’t rip anakin away from his mom and leave not only his mom still in slavery but also punt a tiny child directly into a warzone.

hear me out

so assuming qui gon decides not to take anakin with him (at that moment in time because anakin is still going to be heading to the order just in a more meticulous fashion) right after meeting the skywalkers on tattooine, he still needs to get off planet. so he does the whole race thing yadda yadda he gets the engine and they take off

so here’s where it diverges: anakin stays on tattooine and never goes to naboo.

(bro this got so long i had to put it under a cut omfg)

but cindy!! you might say, leaving anakin on tattoine??? stuck in slavery??? how could you!!!

YES, but this is a temporary thing, just stay with me for a second

padme disagrees but relents because qui gon says he’ll come back for the boy when he’s not, you know, neck deep in the middle of tense wartime negotiations that could trigger a full scale onslaught at any moment. that’s no place to bring a small child into no matter how powerful in the force he is.

qui gon heads back to the council, gives his report, and then mentions anakin. mentions his fuckin. midichlorian count. which is still so ridiculous to me oh my god the midichlorian is the powerhouse of the force i GUESS

anyways

the council still disapproves, but qui gon makes the case that even if they don’t believe him about the chosen one thing it’s still dangerous to leave such a powerful force user out there untrained and vulnerable to the stresses and traumas of slavery. what if he turns to the dark side??? he’ll have ample reasons to if he’s stuck there, and the amount of destruction he could unleash by being untrained and powerful is unspeakable!! qui gon, being the master diplomat he is, even if he is constantly butting heads with the council, could probably convince them of the importance of at least meeting the child. hell, it’s not as if they haven’t broken people free from slavery before it’s honestly jedi basic training at this point

so the council agrees on the condition that qui gon is not allowed to personally mentor the boy because as it stands now he’s too close to the situation, too eager which honestly??? might have been a good chunk of the reason why the council was so against it in the first place. qui gon pushed for it too hard and for no real solid reason. and for fuck’s sake qui gon your padawan is right there

obi wan, awkwardly shuffling on his feet like..... yeah i’m here too master

SPEAKING OF OBI WAN

imagine how gutting it must be to hear that your master wants to get rid of you for the newer, younger model. like at this point obi wan is so used to this shit. abandonment? by qui gon??? it’s more likely than you think,

and obi wan’s ALLL ready to be like “yeah okay. i’ll just. go over here then i guess. fuck me for thinking that you respected me as a person or anything lmao right”

and qui gon’s just “ah fuck. i can’t believe i’ve done this”

anyways hand waves qui gon explaining his reasoning to obi wan and saying that he just wants to ensure that the boy gets the training he needs and obi wan understanding but asking if he really thinks he’s ready to be a knight genuinely or if he’s just saying that to get him out of the way and wow that thought actually hurt a bit lol!!! no problem though qui gon whatever you want haha i’ll just... be in pain. over here. ((:

and qui gon being like, “honestly obi wan the only reason you’re not actually knighted is because i cherish your companionship and i don’t want to let you go” because ANAKIN ISN’T THE ONLY ONE WITH ATTACHMENT ISSUES CASE IN POINT: MY MANS JINN

let’s be honest obi wan could’ve been knighted ages ago. the only reason he hasn’t been is because the master dictates when that step should be taken and qui gon wasn’t ready to let his surrogate son go.

anyways RECONCILIATION WHOO kicks that insecurity off of obi wan’s already weary shoulders because that gnarly bit of tension could’ve been avoided so easily with just a simple conversation!! wow!!! communication can do wondrous things who! would! have! known!!!!!

anyways

they get to naboo. how do they beat the trade federation without anakin? the force works in mysterious ways alright it happens they win boom.

now, onto qui gon. in this au qui gon lives because of that healthy bit of communication up there that went down. see that conversation? where they affirm how important they (qui gon and obi wan) are to each other? and how that bond was repaired and confirmed between their leaving coruscant and fighting maul on naboo and thus their harmonious fighting wasn’t impaired by that underlying resentment and betrayal and tension??? TELLING YOUR KIDS THAT YOU LOVE AND RESPECT THEM CAN DO AMAZING THINGS WITH YOUR ABILITY TO COORDINATE WITH THEM IN THE FIELD IMAGINE THAT

coughs

so they fight maul and maul gets turned into maul 1 and maul 2 and qui gon almost gets got but is saved just in time by his padawan who is!! right there with him!!! because qui gon WAITS 5 SECONDS FOR HIM TO CATCH UP so they can F I G H T T O G E T H E R. qui gon has a permanent limp and an ache in his spine that never really goes away but he’s ALIVE TO SEE THE NEXT SUNRISE BABEY

celebrations happen. and the most important bit of all here: palpatine never meets anakin on naboo.

why would he? anakin’s not fuckin there mate!!! maul wouldn’t even know anything about anakin because qui gon never bothered to take him with them to coruscant and maul was chasing the delegation from naboo, not going hunting for babies in the tatooinian sands

/kicks the palpatine was anakin’s experimental force daddy theory to the curb because. i don’t like it that’s why. suck it dickpatine.

ANAKIN NEVER MEETS PALPATINE!! ripples in the fucking pond babey

qui gon and obi wan ask a boon of padme, that boon being “hey can you give us truly disgusting amounts of money so we can go free those delightful people we had to leave behind on tatooine due to the fact that we were on a time crunch and also ripping people away from a familiar environment without a stable plan of action to provide them a better quality of life is actually called, as the professionals say, a dick move.”

and padme’s like “um fuck yeah here’s some cash let me know how this goes and give anakin and shmi my love”

SO OFF THEY GO TO TATOOINE TO FREE THE SKYWALKERS. shmi tags along to the temple because why wouldn’t she. she wants to see where her son is going to be going. she also pesters qui gon and obi wan constantly about the order and its philosophies and etc. etc. and subsequently gets a crash course in jedi doctrine that anakin also gets to sit in on and you know, educate himself on.

“we want you to know that being a jedi is a choice. being a jedi is a religion unto itself.” they say

“but it’s a set of philosophies that are meant to at its core help others live happy and free lives?” anakin (and shmi) ask

“that’s a very very very large generalization but i guess for the purposes of this conversation that could be seen as true. from a certain point of view,” they respond. qui gon then lets obi wan loose on his musings about the code because the code is simple, and complex in its simplicity, and how the beliefs of the jedi should be taken very seriously because it reflects their connection to the force and by extension the world around them etc. etc.

anakin makes it to the temple. anakin knows (at least a little) what it means to be a jedi. it’s not all light sabers and noble battles and fighting the good fight. it’s about sacrifice and humility and nobility and above all kindness and empathy and loving all things, great and small, and not letting your personal hatreds cloud your judgement even if it takes all your strength to do so

and most importantly to anakin: no attachments.

and that’s what anakin struggles with the most. that never changes. but this time shmi is there to explain it to him, and coming from shmi, the most important person in the world, makes it stick

“it doesn’t mean you love me less,” shmi explains. “it just means you don’t love everyone else less because you love me. it means not loving me to the exclusion of all else. it means love, but for everyone. for everything.”

and then the two jedi reaffirm that it’s a choice. it’s always about choice. you can’t be a jedi without choosing to be one, it’s not something that can be forced. either you believe in the lifestyle, or you don’t. simple as that.

“can i leave if i want to” anakin asks.

“yes. of course you can, any time.” qui gon responds.

“not sure why you would want to though, being a jedi is kind of super cool” obi wan adds, with a wink.

but anakin isn’t a jedi yet. he’s not even an initiate. he doesn’t want to leave his mom, not until he knows she’s safe. he wants to be a jedi he burns with the need to be a jedi, but he’s not sure if he can be a jedi. not the way that was explained to him anyways. but that’s okay because he has the time to decide!!! there are no sith lords breathing down his neck!!! he has two (2) in the flesh examples of what jedi can do, what jedi are, what they can accomplish in the world!!! most of all he has his mother there, supporting him either way!!!

maybe he does go into the order. maybe he does ultimately choose that life for himself. maybe he does manage to untangle himself from the snarls of attachment and apply himself wholeheartedly to the ways of the jedi. he might even succeed this time since palpatine has no fucking CLUE anakin’s even there!!! he’s not nine years old and freshly braided and attached at the hip to a mourning brand new knight, he’s nine years old and trying to figure out how the fuck you levitate off the ground with your legs crossed under you while his crechemates balance things onto his nose!!!

and you know what!! maybe he chooses to leave the order because it’s not for him, but this time he’s got enough stability in his life, in the way that he manages and examines his feelings, that he’s not a threat to himself and those he loves. maybe he becomes a mechanic and lives a nice, simple life with his aging mother and becomes penpals with a pretty girl from naboo. WHO KNOWWWSSS

and that’s important for anakin: knowing that it’s always a choice always his choice and that he never has to have anyone tell him who he can and cannot be because he is his own master now he has full autonomy and the jedi cannot and will not take that away from him

this got so long oh my god i just have so many THOUGHTS

qui gon taking anakin like that in tpm was such a rushed decision my man can you CHILL AND THINK

anyways,,,,, that’s all thank u for coming with me on this journey,,,,,,,

#YELLS ABOUT TPM INTO MY HANDSSSS #this is super long i'm so sorry ghfjkdghfj #star wars #anakin skywalker #qui gon jinn #shmi skywalker #obi wan kenobi #anon #ask #meta

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jadejedi · 3 years

Text

Love Does Not Fail (7/?)

Summary: When Anakin saves the galaxy from Palpatine, Padmé and his children survive, but their family is split apart nonetheless. Leia is taken to be raised in the Temple, not knowing that the Jedi who “found” her is actually her father. Luke grows up with Padmé, knowing only his mother’s side of the family. But some things are inevitable.

Chapter Summary: A new darkness arises in the galaxy.

ao3 link: here

A/N: Sorry it’s been nearly ten months lmao. Oops. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think! (more notes and thoughts on ao3)

“Are you sure that this is the best time to start dragging him around the galaxy?” Anakin asked Ahsoka skeptically, with a bit of an edge to it. She knew he was protective of Luke, and she respected that but-

“I am his teacher, Anakin,” she reminded him, trying to keep her tone gentle rather than defensive . They met about once a month, usually at some diner or bar in what she wouldn’t necessarily describe as a shady part of Coruscant, but shady-adjacent, perhaps, to catch up and talk about Luke’s training. “He’s ready to do some travelling without Padmé. And it’s not like it’ll be anything different than what he does with Padmé, anyways. Just more of a focus on training.”

At the still unconvinced expression on his face, Ahsoka sighed, and softened. “I promise I’ll be extra careful on what assignments we take him on. We won’t get involved in this Snoke guy’s business.”

“I know,” Anakin sighed. “I still don’t like it.”

As much as she believed Luke was ready to do some travelling with her and Barriss, she understood Anakin’s worries. Five months ago marked the beginning of a new Senate rotation. Bail Organa’s time as Chancellor was over, as he had set stricter term limits for the office. Mon Mothma had been elected Chancellor, and her Vice Chancellor was now Mazun Dul, the Senator from Corellia.

Dul’s election had been troubling to many, as he represented a new political party that had arisen with Palpatine’s downfall. They called themselves the First Order. Their leader, Corellia’s new prime minister, a man called Snoke, pushed for Republic expansion in the Outer Rim as well as less Republic intervention in already ‘civilized’ worlds.

The First Order was good at playing around the issue, but Ahsoka, as well as Padmé and many others, could tell that they held the same anti-alien sentiments that Palpatine had secretly harboured.

Since the election of Snoke, Corellia had been swept up in violence, from both its criminal element and from his political detractors. Other worlds that also had a First Order presence had also started experiencing small amounts of violence, usually protests gone south, or riots.

“Look, whatever Snoke is playing at, he won’t get very far,” Ahsoka tried to reassure him. “People are still wary of conflict so soon after the Clone Wars. They’ll get tired of the violence he’s stirring up. And I promise we’ll stay away from worlds with a First Order presence; we’re going to Kashyyk. Since Wookies have a long history of being exploited in this kind of conflict, their leaders are worried. Padmé just needs us to go and calm them down a bit. We’ll be talking to their leaders, then delivering supplies to an area affected by a storm; we’ll be fine.”

Ahsoka was the best person for this job, because she understood Shyriiwook, and she knew one of their leaders.

Anakin gave her a look. “Isn’t that where you got kidnapped and hunted for sport?”

“That was Trandosha,” she corrected him. “It’s close by, but we’ll be coming from a totally different direction,” she assured him. “We won’t even be passing by it.”

“Fine,” Anakin assented begrudgingly, even though Ahsoka wasn’t really looking for his permission.

“Make sure you keep your lightsabers out of sight,” Anakin reminded her, and she had to keep herself from rolling her eyes.

“I’m not stupid,” she told him, raising an eyebrow.

“I never said you were!”

“You’ve got to trust that I know what I’m doing, Anakin.” She sighed. “The lightsaber laws are nothing new. Barriss and I would never do anything that would put Luke or Padmé at risk.”

Years ago, not long after Bail Organa had been elected Chancellor, there had been some debate about the Sith, and whether or not it was illegal to hold such beliefs. However, it had not been popular to criminalize an entire religion, so instead, certain measures had been put into place to appease the Jedi, such as making it illegal to carry or wield a lightsaber unless one was a member of the Order.

Ahsoka continued to carry her lightsaber anyways, concealed away in a pocket or in a bag.

“How is Leia?” she asked, changing the subject.

Anakin did not look impressed by her attempt to move on, but did so anyway. “She’s doing well, I think. She’s near the top of her clan in lightsaber skills.”

“Have you ever considered teaching more than just lightsaber classes?” she asked.

“No,” he replied with a shake of his head. “My teachings aren’t very orthodox.”

She laughed. “No, they’re not.” She smiled at him. “I learned a lot from you in just three years, and lightsaber duels was only a bit of it.”

“Me and the Jedi ways don’t get along very well,” he insisted.

Ahsoka shook her head, exasperated. “Anakin, you always complain about the things the Jedi teach, but you never bother to teach yourself.”

Anakin crossed his arms defensively. “I’m more of a duelist than a philosopher. I’m doing my best with them, Snips.”

Ahsoka softened. “I know you are. I’m sure Leia appreciates having you around, even if she doesn’t know why. But, I really think that you could be a good influence on them. Don’t you? Give them a new perspective?”

“I’m sure Obi-Wan would be thrilled that I’m taking an interest in philosophy,” he agreed after a moment of consideration. “I don’t know about everyone else.”

She laughed.

Ahsoka went straight to the apartment she shared with Barriss after lunch. Luke wouldn’t be done with school for another couple of hours, and the Senate was more Padmé and Dormé’s realm. She could use the time to pack for the trip to Kashyyyk.

She found Barriss meditating in the living room of the apartment. Where Ahsoka tended to prefer wearing jumpsuits when she was working or, if she was working on official business of the Naboo Senatorial office, something similarly functional with a bit more professionalism, Barriss preferred a slightly more elegant look, just as she had as Jedi. Today, she was wearing a flowy black skirt and a nice but comfortable looking blue blouse.

“How did it go?” she asked, eyes still closed in meditation.

“Well,” Ahsoka said as she pulled off her shoes and made her way over to the sofa behind her, “he tried to talk me out of it,” she said, leaning back against the sofa, “but he relented eventually.”

“His fear controls him,” Barriss said after a moment, opening her eyes and relaxing her posture slightly, turning to face Ahsoka.

“It does not!” she disagreed, although sometimes she thought otherwise. “Luke’s his son, it’s natural for him to worry. And hey, he changed his mind, didn’t he? He’s always given me room to train Luke as I see fit.”

Barriss nodded her head, conceding the point. “Fair enough. He’s still not good at controlling his emotions,” she continued before Ahsoka could come to Anakin’s defense again.

Ahsoka sighed. Since being released from prison, and even before, Barriss had believed that her fall had been due to her emotions- fear, anger, hate. So, now she strove to rid herself of those emotions, to feel peace.

Ahsoka didn’t disagree that Barriss’s actions against the Jedi had been motivated by those emotions, but she thought that maybe there was more to it than that.

Luke, for all that he was a child, did not seem to struggle with the same parts of his training than she, and most young Jedi, had. Peace came easily to him. Maybe it was his personality, but that’s not all it was. He was a very sweet, gentle child, but he was still impatient, reckless. Ahsoka privately thought that his peace came from the fact that he didn’t have to struggle with his emotions. He just- felt.

Maybe that was making it too easy for him, and it would backfire later, but for now, Ahsoka was content to continue down their current path. Sometimes the easy path was easy because it was a shortcut, a dangerous way to get to one’s goal, but sometimes the easy path was easy simply because it means you’re doing it right.

So, she taught Luke to not try and separate himself from his emotions, but to be in harmony with them, and she was trying to teach herself the same thing.

But Barriss disagreed.

“Maybe trying to control our emotions at all is what is dangerous,” Ahsoka suggested hesitantly, leaning forward, bracing her elbows on her knees.

Barriss shook her head, her intense blue eyes pointed at the ground. “If we don’t control our emotions, then they will control us.” She reached up to fiddle with the ends of her dark hair that she kept shoulder length, longer than when they’d been Padawans. She was beautiful, as she always had been. She looked up; her eyes held Ahsoka’s gaze. “Emotions like that are like an ocean. Fear, anger, and hatred-”

“And love,” Ahsoka added.

Barriss nodded, face still passive. “And love. They’ll toss you around, try to drown you, sweep you off the shore. You have to build a wall, to protect yourself from it.”

“The ocean doesn’t try to do anything. It just is,” Ahsoka countered. “If you learn to swim, or have a boat, then you’re safe.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

Ahsoka huffed and leaned back against the sofa. She knew what Barriss was saying. That the ocean- emotions- would always be dangerous. Even if you could swim, or be safely in a boat, there were always dangers lurking beneath the surface. Not to mention the storms.

Leia sat in one of the Temple’s small meditation rooms alone. Normally she meditated with her clan, but right now, she just needed time alone.

She took in a deep breath, holding it in for a moment, and exhaling slowly. She repeated the exercise a few times until she felt centered.

She’d had a dream last night. It hadn’t been a normal dream, like her reoccurring dream about falling into one of the fountains in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, or even a nightmare.

In the dream, she’d seen faces, people. A woman she could barely make out, with curly brown hair and a kind smile. A man with curly dark blond hair. A few others, another woman, more distant with darker hair, and a humanoid alien of some kind that was too blurry to recognize. And a child.

She couldn’t tell if she was the child, or if she was watching the child. She saw them all against the background of a green meadow. It felt slow, idyllic, peaceful.

Leia tried to focus, tried to see their faces clearly, but she couldn’t.

The dream, it was beautiful, but sad.

It was her family, she knew. She wondered if the dream was sad because it made her sad, or if the memory itself was sad. It felt like a beautiful memory.

Leia did another round of breathing exercises and tried to push past the memory. She focused on the emotions the dream stirred up in her: sadness, confusion, wanting.

She repeated the Jedi Code silently in her mind as she breathed, releasing her emotions into the Force.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

Her sadness was only disturbing the peace within her; she had to let it go.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

She pushed away her confusion, focusing on what she knew. The dream was of her family, but they were not important. She was a Jedi, the Jedi were her family.

There is no passion, there is only serenity.

Love, Leia knew, was passion. Family, attachments, these things broke the serenity of a Jedi’s mind. She didn’t want them.

There is no chaos, there is only harmony.

Her mind must be calm, pushing away the emotions. She must be at one with all around her.

There is no death, there is only the Force.

The Force contained all things, and when something died, it was absorbed into the Force. Her time with her family was dead. It had lived when the Force had needed it to, but that time had passed, and all was as the Force willed it.

With one last deep breath, Leia slowly got up from her meditation pose and found herself heading not towards where she knew her clan’s history lesson was supposed to start, but towards the part of the Temple where most of the Knight’s quarters were.

She walked purposefully, but not too quickly, trying to pretend like she belonged here during a part of the day when most initiates were in classes, until she reached Jedi Skywalker’s door. She hesitated only briefly before knocking.

She felt him reach out to see who was at his door. Hi, she projected.

After a moment, he opened the door, a confused smile on his face. “Leia, it’s good to see you,” he said. “Shouldn’t you be in classes?”

She looked him in the eye. “I’m skipping,” she told him matter-of-factly.

He gave her a surprised grin. “Well, then, come on in,” he said, motioning her into his quarters.

Leia had first been in Jedi Skywalker’s quarters about three years ago. She’d been sad, she remembered, because she’d worried that moving into her clan bunks meant that he wouldn’t be able to do her hair any more. He’d shown her where his room was, and had told her to stop by anytime she wanted her hair done.

His quarters were small, plain grey walls just like in her clan’s bunk. There were blinds half closed over the windows, a sofa, and a tiny kitchenette in one corner, and a door to his bedroom in the other.

“So,” he said, closing the door after her and sitting cross-legged on the sofa, “Do you want to tell me why you’re skipping your classes?”

She sat down on the floor across from him, adopting the same posture and gave him a look. “I wanted to talk to you, obviously.”

He chuckled. “Of course. And what was it you wanted to talk about?”

Leia glanced down at her hands in her lap. “Do you ever have sad dreams?” she asked him, not sure whether to directly ask him about her family.

“Sad dreams?” he asked, considering. “Not nightmares?”

She shook her head.

“Yes, I guess I have.”

“What do they mean?” she asked. “Are they visions?”

He sighed. “Well, I imagine that that depends on the dream.” He smiled sadly. “Sometimes the Force gives us dreams that mean something, but sometimes, a dream is just a dream. Maybe it’s a reflection of our day, or a memory, or something you want.”

“My dream was about my family, I think,” she admitted. “I could barely make them out. But in the dream, I wanted to be with them. Is it bad?” she asked, quietly.

A shadow crossed over his face. “No, it’s not bad.”

“It’s not?” she asked hopefully.

“No.” His expression was as serious as she’d ever seen it. “Leia, you can’t control what you dream.”

“But what if my dreams are a reflection, like you said? A reflection of what I want? Master Yoda says that Jedi should not want attachments.”

He huffed. “We all have attachments, even Master Yoda.”

Leia looked at him skeptically. She found that hard to believe. “Really?”

“Yes, really!” he said, his serious expression breaking into a slight grin. “Attachment isn’t something we can simply not have. Jedi are taught to have compassion, after all, which is a form of unconditional love. That compassion is bound to lead us towards attachments.”

Leia crossed her arms. “I don’t think that’s what that means,” she disagreed.

He laughed slightly. “Maybe not,” he muttered. “It doesn’t matter what it’s supposed to mean,” he said, more clearly. “You don’t have to agree with me, or Master Yoda, or Master Seminaria. As you get older, you’ll have to make up your own mind. There is more than one right way to be a Jedi, Leia.”

She nodded in understanding, feeling a bit better about her dream. She still wasn’t sure if she agreed completely, but he was right that she didn’t control her dreams. It didn’t make her a bad Jedi.

He stood up with a brief smile, offering a hand to help her up. “C’mon, I’ll walk you back to your class. I have my own class that is starting soon, actually.”

“A lightsaber class?” Leia asked.

“Not quite,” he said as he led them out of his quarters. “Philosophy, actually.”

“I didn’t know you taught Jedi theology,” she remarked. She was kind of surprised that they let him. Everyone knew that Jedi Skywalker wasn’t a typical Jedi.

He chuckled, seeming to sense her reaction. “It doesn’t really seem like my thing, does it?”

She shrugged, her cheeks heating up.

“Well, you’re right; it isn’t. But I’ve been talked into it. This is only my second class; Obi-wan is letting me cover for him while he is off-planet.”

“Master Kenobi is letting you?” she asked, disbelieving that Jedi Skywalker would want to teach that kind of class

He hesitated for a moment, before replying. “Yes. I was talked into it by my former padawan.”

“She’s alive?” Leia blurted without thinking.

Jedi Skywalker glanced down at her and gave a wry chuckle. “Is that a rumor? No, she’s not dead. She just left. She’s still on Coruscant, even; she works for the Naboo senatorial office.”

“Oh,” Leia said. That must be why he knows so much about Naboo. She wanted to ask why his padawan had left, but wasn’t really sure how, so instead she just followed him silently. Ezra had told them that his padawan had been kicked out, but Jedi Skywalker had just said ‘left’.

“You’re thinking very loudly,” he commented after about a minute of walking in silence. He stopped walking, turning to look at her. “You have questions,” he stated, matter of factly. Leia nodded, feeling shy all of the sudden, even though she’d known Jedi Skywalker practically all her life.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, looking down at her shoes.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he said kindly. “I don’t mind if you ask me your questions. In fact, I’d rather you do that than continue to feed the Temple rumor mill,” he said wryly.

Leia looked back up at him, nodding. “Okay, so your padawan-”

“Ahsoka,” he interrupted.

“So, Ahsoka,” she corrected herself, “You said she left the Order. Did she leave on her own?”

He sighed, crossing his arms. “She chose to leave, if that’s what you mean. But she wasn’t given much of a choice, if you ask me.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

He glanced down at his chrono. “We’ve got to get moving,” he said. “Ahsoka’s decision-” he sighed. “It was complicated.” He gave her a considering look. “I’ll tell you about it when you’re older.”

Leia huffed. He said she could ask questions, but apparently that really only meant one question.

Padmé smiled as Anakin’s speeder landed on her apartment’s landing pad. She didn’t always wait out for him; sometimes he forgot to let her know he was on his way, and he wasn’t always able to come over at the same time, and sometimes she herself got so caught up in her work, and he’d come into her office in the apartment, gently cajoling her away from her work.

But today she waited for him outside, sighing happily as he swept her into his arms. She wound her arms around his neck, breathing in his scent as she could feel his chest expand and contract with a deep sigh of relief.

He set her down, his flesh hand coming up to cup her cheek as he bent down to kiss her. She stood on her toes to meet him, one hand coming up to grasp his shoulder, the other winding into the curls at the nape of his neck.

“I spoke to Leia today,” he told her with a small smile as they separated, and her hands came to rest on his shoulders, while his rested on her waist, thumbs stroking in place.

“You did?” Hearing her daughter’s name brought a smile to her face, even as a jolt of sorrow swept through her.

He hummed in confirmation. “She dreams of us,” he said, in a voice thick with emotion. “She came to me, to ask if her dreams were bad, if they were against the Code.”

Padmé wondered what Leia saw in her dreams of them. Could she feel the sorrow that had run beneath the surface of that year on Naboo?

“What did you tell her?” she asked.

“I told her that we can’t control our dreams any more than we can control who we love,” he said, his bright blue eyes meeting hers.

She smiled sadly. “I’m glad she comes to you for advice. It means she trusts you.”

“She reminds me of you,” he said. “Her big brown eyes, her curiosity, her kindness,” his soft expression changed into a mischievous one as he continued, “her stubbornness.”

Padmé laughed. “Oh, my stubbornness? I think that’s something she got from you,” she insisted.

“It’s definitely from you,” he disagreed, chuckling. “You should see the expression she makes when she disagrees with me. It’s a look I’m familiar with.”

She gave him a look, and he laughed. “There, that’s the one!” he exclaimed, laughing slightly as he leaned down to kiss her cheek.

“How’s Luke?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Well, I haven’t heard from Ahsoka yet, so I assume they’re still in hyperspace,” she told him. They’d left not long after Luke got home from school; Luke had been so excited to go on his first ‘solo’ mission that he’d basically dragged Ahsoka and Barriss out of the door. He’d even packed yesterday without her even having to tell him to.

Anakin looked surprised by this information. “Hyperspace?” he asked.

“To Kashyyyk, remember?” Padmé reminded him. “I thought Ahsoka talked to you about it yesterday.”

His forehead creased. “I guess I didn’t realize that she was planning on leaving so soon.”

“They’ll be fine, Anakin,” she reassured him. “It’s just a simple relief mission. Trust Ahsoka and Barriss to keep him safe.”

“I do trust Ahsoka,” he said slowly, “but are you sure you’re entirely comfortable with letting Barriss spend so much time around Luke?”

“I’m sure,” she said simply. And she was. Barriss was troubled, she knew, much like someone else she knew, but she regretted what she’d done. And more than anything, she trusted Ahsoka’s judgement. She’d spent a lot of time with Barriss over the years, and if she thought it was safe, then Padmé would agree with her.

When Anakin still looked troubled, Padmé stepped back, towards the apartment, grabbing one of his hands to pull him after her. “Ani,” she said with a slightly exasperated smile, “I know you’re worried, but you’ll have time to worry tomorrow. Right now, we have the whole apartment to ourselves; let’s go inside.”

He followed her inside, where it was just the two of them; the outside world and all of its troubles melted away.

Luke was all but vibrating with excitement as the ramp lowered to reveal the world of Kashyyyk. He glanced up at either side of him, first to Barriss on his left, and then to Ahsoka on his right. Threepio followed behind them, ready to act as translator when Ahsoka couldn’t. She smiled at him, placing a hand on his shoulder. His first mission without his mom; it was a big deal.

At the end of the ramp waited members of the King’s council, as well as the local Chieftain, and a couple of generals.

They bowed to the Wookie at the head of the group, and he bowed in return, growling out what Luke assumed to be a greeting. Luke wasn’t as good at languages as Ahsoka and Barriss were.

“Thank you for welcoming us on behalf of his Majesty. Queen Layarria and Senator Amidala of Naboo send their greetings,” Ahsoka said, before turning to Luke and Barriss. “This is the Senator’s son, Luke Naberrie, and Barriss Offee, my fellow representative from Senator Amidala’s office.”

There were more greetings all around, which Luke watched, half interested. He poked at Barriss’ mind, knowing she couldn’t speak Shyriiwook, and instead of a poke back, like he might get with Ahsoka, she just turned and glanced at him, eyebrow raised. He shot her a grin, and he did finally feel an echo of a laugh through the Force. He knew Barriss liked to act like she was so serious, but she was a pretty nice person.

“Reach out with the Force, Luke,” she instructed, leaning down slightly to whisper to him. “Try and feel the emotions of those around you. Be aware of your surroundings.” She gave him a small smile. “Maybe then you won’t feel so left out.”

“Yes, Barriss,” Luke said, dutifully. He did as she said, reaching out with his feelings, and to his surprise, rather than just the calm emotions he expected, he felt a jolt of excitement from one of the Wookies in the back.ff

Luke’s eyes widened when said Wookie swept Ahsoka up in a big hug, roaring a particularly enthusiastic greeting.

“Oh! Chewbacca!” she said with some surprise in her voice. “It’s good to see you, too, old friend.” When he set her down, they talked back and forth for a bit, and Luke found it a bit difficult to only follow half of a conversation, though he could feel that this Chewbacca was happy to see them.

“They certainly seem very friendly,” Threepio remarked behind them.

“Of course they are,” Barriss said with her characteristic calmness and aura of all-knowingness that Luke knew drove Ahsoka batty. “The Wookies have long been very supportive members of the Republic. They have always strove to maintain good relations with other planets, even if that desire hasn’t always been reciprocated.”

“Mom said that Wookies are one of the most noble and loyal species that exist in the Republic,” Luke added, proud to show that he was listening when they talked about politics.

Barriss nodded. “That’s right. That’s why it’s so important to maintain good relations with them. We can’t just neglect them because they’ve always been there; we have to show them we value them.”

“Which is why we’re bringing aid.”

“Exactly.” At this Barriss shot him another little smile, to show that she was proud of him. Luke smiled back, because he knew it was hard for her to show that kind of thing. He’d heard Ahsoka scold her for it more than once.

Eventually, Ahsoka turned back to them.

“Barriss, Luke, this is Chewbacca. We go way back.” Luke smiled up at the tall Wookie. He was so tall; all the Wookies were. Even taller than Jedi Skywalker, who was pretty tall.

“Chewie, this is Luke. He’s here to learn,” she explained vaguely. “And this is Barriss. We grew up together,” she said, giving Chewie a look. Luke knew this was her way of explaining that Barriss was also a former Jedi, without saying so outright. Being a former Jedi wasn’t bad, Luke knew, but there also weren’t a lot of them, so Barriss and Ahsoka tended not to mention it. Especially because Barriss had done bad things in the past as a Jedi.

Chewie roared something, motioning them forward. Ahsoka turned back to them to translate. “He says that first we will meet with the King and his council, and then we will be transported to the nearby village that was hit in the recent storm.”

Luke and Barriss followed Ahsoka, Chewie, and the other Wookies through the winding path of stairs and bridges that connected the giant wroshyr trees. It was beautiful, Luke thought, as long as you didn’t look down.

Barriss must have noticed him looking at the railing uncertainty because she grabbed his hand, shooting him a small smile. “Your mother will have my head if you fall out of one of these trees,” she told him quietly. Luke let her, even though he didn’t really think he needed his hand held now that he was eight. It was a long way down, and his mother would be extremely upset with Barriss and Ahsoka if he got hurt.

“Are you scared of my mother?” he asked her with a grin.

“Oh, absolutely,” she said with a solemn nod. “More than any Separatist or battle droid I’ve ever faced.”

His grin widened, and he held tightly to Barriss’ hand for the rest of the journey to one of the highest platforms in the capital city, where the King met with his council.

The King was even a bit taller and larger than the rest of the Wookies, dark, near black fur peppered with silver throughout. He sat in an innocuous looking chair at the head of the circular platform, and the three members of the council took their spot in chairs on either side of the King, with the other Wookies who’d accompanied them moving to stand next to those seated. That left just the four of them, Luke, Barriss, Ahsoka, and Threepio, standing facing the Wookies. Even though Luke knew that the Wookies were loyal members of the Republic, there was still something intimidating about the sight.

Luke remembered what Barriss told him earlier, and he reached out with the Force again. This time, he felt stronger emotions. Fear, worry, permeated the council.

The King began speaking in the growls of Shyriiwook, with Threepio translating.

“His Majesty, King Rrayyywk of Kashyyyk, welcomes the ambassadors from Naboo. He thanks Naboo for their aid, and for allowing his majesty to share his concerns. He says that their representative in the Senate has had a difficult time being heard these days.” That didn’t surprise Luke. While he didn’t sit in on as many Senate sessions as he used to, now that he was in school, he still did occasionally, and not many beings had their voices heard. It was usually just a lot of yelling.

“Your Majesty,” Ahsoka began, “We are happy to carry your concerns back to Senator Amidala, but to be honest, the Senate is very much at a standstill. With Chancellor Mothma and Vice Chancellor Dul being from opposing parties, it is hard to get anything onto the floor these days.”

King Rrayyywk growled mournfully. “His Majesty understands,” Threepio dutifully translated. “It is Vice Chancellor Dul that he is worried about,” and at this, the other Wookies made noises of agreement. “Him, and the other members of the First Order. It is no secret that the First Order has begun implementing anti-alien policies on several planets. Several close enough to make the Wookies nervous. They already have enough problems from Trandosha, without having to worry about Hapes, Valgauth, and Onderon as well.”

Luke sensed surprise from Ahsoka. “Onderon? King Dendup may have been neutral before the Clone Wars, but they’ve-”

King Rrayywk interrupted with a curt growl. “His majesty says that a single victory does not heal all wounds,” translated Threepio. “Onderon may have joined the Republic, but that does not mean it is a planet of one mind. The First Order has a presence there. It may be small, but that may not matter.”

“To be honest, I think you have a right to be worried, Your Majesty,” Barriss said, speaking up. “The First Order is stirring unrest in people’s hearts. Preying on the vulnerable state of the galaxy. I, more than most, know how easy it is to be swayed when you are already conflicted.”

“His Majesty asks what can be done? Is Senator Amidala working to fight the First Order? Are the Jedi?”

Ahsoka shot a quick glance at Barriss that Luke couldn’t decipher. “At the moment, there is nothing to fight. They’re just a political party, but-”

“King Rrayywk reminds you that the Sith were just a religion.”

“That’s not the same,” Ahsoka said quickly, shaking her head.

Luke shifted uncomfortably as some of the Wookies shook their heads and muttered. He didn’t know much about the First Order, but what he did know, he knew from his mother. It was strange to hear these Wookies, strong, proud, creatures, seem so afraid of anything.

Ahsoka seemed like she was going to continue, when Barriss stepped in again. “Senator Amidala shares your concerns. She has always fought for the equality of all beings, starting with the Gungans on her home planet, and has always been a voice for equality in the Senate.”

King Rrayywk sighed and growled out a response. “His Majesty thanks the office of Senator Amidala for listening to his concerns, and hopes that Senator Amidala will ally with alien species against the First Order, if the time should come.”

Ahsoka and Barriss bowed their heads in acknowledgement, and Luke did as well. Then, the Chieftain of the city, howled something at them, stepping forward, and directing them back the way they came. “Chieftain Varu asks that you follow him. He will take you to your transport.”

Anakin was just finishing a lightsaber class with Mara Jade’s clan Dalgo when Obi-Wan commed him and asked to meet. He knew Obi-Wan had just gotten back from Corellia- he had gone on a diplomatic mission to meet with Prime Minister Snoke- and had been debriefing with the council. He dismissed the younglings and hurried to Obi-Wan’s quarters, as Anakin sensed it was urgent.

Anakin found Obi-Wan seated in meditation on the floor of the very small living space in his quarters. “What’s so important that you comm me while I’m in class?” he demanded as he walked in. He wasn’t actually upset, more worried than anything. Obi-Wan wasn’t one to make a big deal out of nothing.

“Sit down,” he said curtly, turning to look at him, a frown etched onto his face. “I’ve just learned troubling news. It will be common knowledge soon enough.”

He complied, sitting next to him and assuming a meditation pose. He knew that, while meditation wasn’t his favorite thing, it helped Obi-Wan immensely, and he might as well go along with it.

“I’ve learned that Prime Minister Snoke has the Force. That he uses the dark side.”

Anakin jolted. “What? Another Sith? How can this be?”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “He claims not to be a Sith. And in the loosest sense, that seems to be true. It seems that this Snoke was an acolyte, of sorts, of Sidious, back when Sidious was just a Sith apprentice himself. Snoke told me that while Sidious taught him how to use the dark side, he never taught him the ways of the Sith.”

Anakin looked at Obi-Wan incredulously. “He told you this?”

“Oh, yes,” Obi-Wan sighed. “He was quite eager to tell me all about himself. Gleeful, even. He knows that we can’t touch him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he hasn’t done anything illegal!” Obi-Wan exclaimed in frustration. “As far as we can tell, he had no association with the Separatists. He was a private citizen before running for office. His ship building corporation builds private vessels, not warcraft, so he never had contracts with either side. He’s never done anything illegal, hasn’t been implicated in any crimes, doesn’t carry a lightsaber, and ended his association with Sidious before his illegal activity began. He simply hasn’t violated Republic law.” He shook his head, glancing down at the floor.

Anakin heard the defeat in Obi-Wan’s voice, and felt his own heart begin to race, fear creeping into his veins. “That’s not possible. I restored balance to the Force. It’s-it’s only been eight years.” He shook his head, unsure of what to say. He didn’t know how to put into words the combination of fear and frustration that flooded him.

Obi-Wan looked up at that, and put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “You did restore balance. You destroyed the Sith. One man with a few years of bare bones instruction into the dark side is not the same thing.”

Anakin shook his head. “I didn’t want my children to have to worry about this like I did. A mysterious dark sider pulling strings in the galaxy.”

He thought of what Qui-Gon’s ghost had told him all those years ago, on Naboo. He’d never told Obi-Wan about that. He’d never told anyone about that. According to Qui-Gon, he hadn’t restored balance. Not yet. He’d said there was more to do. On Mortis, it had all been very literal, controlling the Brother and the Sister at once, holding them in balance. But in the real world, he didn’t know.

“Maybe there’s more to bringing balance to the Force than just destroying the Sith,” Anakin mused aloud.

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. “More? And what might that ‘more’ be?”

Anakin shot him a grin. “I don’t know, Master. I suppose we’ll have to figure that out.”

#love does not fail #star wars fic #anidala fic #skywalker family #my fic #star wars #sw #anidala #alternate chapter summary: Luke's lesbian aunts take him on a vacation #also if any of the snoke stuff is confusing pls pls go and read #my super duper end of chapter notes on ao3 #i explain it in detail there

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anarcho-smarmyism · 4 years

Text

Long post heads up

so im assuming this will be controversial but i’ve been thinking about this for a while, so please hear me out on this: pagans, even white American ones, literally are marginalized. now, i realize that by making this post i’m opening myself up to a lot of ridicule and accusations, so i ask that yall please do me the courtesy of actually considering what i have to say before you write this post off completely.

a few things to get out of the way first: to act like it’s equivalent to widespread racialized religious discrimination against well-known established religions such as Judaism or Islam is obviously wrong. to act like modern pagans aren’t mostly white and that our communities don’t have huge issues with racism is obviously wrong. i laugh at most posts criticizing pagans, because i genuinely think most of them are funny; it often comes across to me mostly as bemused roasting more than anything actually hateful. i feel like pagans often just need to learn to take a joke and take ourselves a little less seriously, as many religious people need to remind themselves. also, as someone who’s been hanging out in these groups for about 6 years now, i’ll outright tell yall that most pagan groups have ongoing issues with racism, transphobia, ableism, and other social prejudices, as well as the aforementioned predators and cults. many many pagans really do just go “lols The Spirits Don’t Care About Race silly sjws” and then appropriate the hell out closed traditions and act disrespectful as hell to the people who say it’s wrong; if you’re criticizing us for shit like this, GOOD. That’s legitimate criticism that we choose to ignore far too often.

however, more and more of the “criticism” i see on here toward pagans is just saying we’re crazy, stupid, gullible, or other shitty nu-atheist talking points that have just been repurposed to target a growing fringe subculture that has been widely declared an acceptable target by culturally christian progressives AS WELL AS the religious right.

the justification for this is that no white pagans are discriminated against for being pagan, and i know for a fact that isn’t true. all the pagans i talk to report having to keep it a secret from family, friends, or coworkers -but for this post, i’ll keep it limited to my own experiences. i was abused by my parents as a minor for converting from christianity to a pagan faith, and having to keep my religion and experiences a complete secret from most of my friends and family really did take a toll on me. now, as an adult, i’ve learned to keep my religious beliefs a secret from most strangers and especially anyone who might know me at work, because people will start treating you differently -either like you’re evil, or gullible and stupid in a way they (mostly) don’t accuse mainstream religions of. when i was in the psych ward, i was refused my paperback holy text which i had brought with me for the same reason a christian would bring a bible into a scary and traumatic situation, but because the mainly-christian patients were bullying me for being pagan and the nurses didn’t want to deal with it, so the staff withheld it from me for 3 days until i could talk to a social worker. when my aunt took me in so i could move away from my parents, she coaxed me into sharing about my religion, which i naively did because it was rare for people to take an interest in it, and then the next day she told me if i didn’t get rid of all my “occult” stuff (mostly books and tarot cards), she would kick me out. i can’t get holy days off and in some states i can’t run for a lot of public offices unless I’m Christian. (yeah, i realize the post is talking about atheists, but people use those same laws against pagans as well, because as far as they’re concerned, we don’t believe in God, either.)

if any of this happened because i converted to buddhism or another well-known established open religion, people would call it religious discrimination. non-pagans who talk about this almost always say “yeah well you CHOSE to convert that religion, it isn’t a culture or religion you were raised in”, as though that means we’re under some obligation to quietly absorb any insults or abuse related to something so universally personal as one’s faith -like why does it matter to yall if i was raised in this faith, or converted? why is a faith only “real” if you were raised in it, or are adopting it literally from your direct ancestors?

i realize to people who aren’t religious that this may sound like nonsense, but my experience as a kid wasn’t that it looked cool and trendy and i wanted to feel special. i’m sure that some people are like that, but on the by and large, that’s just a strawman. Personally, whether my experiences that led me to convert were real or not is irrelevant: I was a kid who needed to be able to confide in adults about what i was going through, but the fact that I had started to perceive the world vastly differently than Christians did, and no longer believe in Christian theology, meant it was unsafe for me to do so. not being able to talk to anyone about it without getting either literally accused of being crazy, demonically possessed (happened many times) or like i was just stupid caused real, lasting damage. instead of being the source of stability, comfort, and fellowship that faith can be during difficult times, it’s often been something i feel i need to either hide from others, or defend my right to care deeply about.

as a result of people taking this attitude toward pagans, i and many other young pagans have to rely on online spaces to find any kind of fellowship with people who believe the way that we do. this is isolating and uncomfortable for most, and legitimately dangerous for some. see, if you confine a whole subculture to be either a joke or Satanic depending on your political leaning, the subculture generally develops an Us Against Them in-group/out-group mindset, which makes it much easier for predators and some actual cults to prey on vulnerable people.

keep in mind: pagans are not a monolith; it’s an umbrella term for a lot of different religions. (i don’t claim any kind of ancestral tie to my particular pagan faith, but since it was always an open culture and religion, it doesn’t matter if i have a “hereditary right” to it.) there are a lot of pagans of color, even including Heathenism which has a literal Nazi problem. (i’m referring to people i’ve met irl as well as online here.) lots of young queer people who feel rejected by mainstream religions find a lot of comfort in worshipping queer icons like Loki, Dionysus, Artemis, Set, etc. When you write off pagans as a whole for being just dumb racist white people, you throw them under the bus by erasing them. you isolate them the same way you do me, and they are even more likely to experience the kind of discrimination and abuse i have. is it really worth it to make them feel even more alienated in their religious choices, because they go against the mean-spirited stereotype that secular and non-pagan progressive people have crafted for pagans?

Also, antifascist and progressive pagans are already swimming against the tide to make social prejudices persona not grata within our spaces, and it makes pagan reactionaries’ recruitment tactics WAY more effective when the world around new, insecure pagans tells them they’re automatically racist privileged white people for being interested in paganism. you don’t need to have any sympathy for bigots, but you should at least acknowledge the end result of this kind of rhetoric. i don’t like it either, but most people aren’t going to stop being pagan, or stop talking about it publicly altogether (as that seems to be the only thing that will make yall happy lol) when people make fun of them constantly; they’re gonna dig their heels in and do the in-group out-group thing people always fuckin’ do in these situations. that mindset makes otherwise-normal people, who may have been willing to learn and grow out of their background prejudices under other circumstances, easier for the truly racist monsters in our community to begin grooming.

paganism is a swiftly growing counterculture, and it’s more than likely that at some point it’s going to be part of a larger conversation on religious freedom. i don’t think people on tumblr or twitter roasting pagans is discriminatory necessarily, but life isn’t split up into “discrimination” and “okay things to do”. yall are pretty obviously just petty and excited to make fun of people who you think are weird, because yall can easily insist that every pagan is a privileged racist cis white lady, therefore it’s totally okay to be rude, dismissive, or just outright mean-spirited to pagans as a group because you’re pretending your bullying is enlightened or required by social justice laws. this is what we in pagan culture call “a dick move”.

besides, it’s ten thousand times more accurate and funnier to roast us for being too self important and arguing over whether emoji spells are Serious Magic or not lmao.

#pagan #smarmyanarchist #this ended up really long because im trying to cover all my bases before ppl start twisting my words lmao #ableism

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sunshine-in-a-bottle · 3 years

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I'm watching Beast Wars again for no reason and so you all have to hear me talk about it.

If I was personally given Rights I would first use them to erase Cheetors weird crush on Blackarachnia because it literally adds nothing to the plot or the characters. Instead I'd take full advantage of my personal headcanon and make Cheetor desperately want a big sister because I am always a slut for Found Family. Like, that scene with Una ?"Aw, she wants to be you!" Like c'mon viewing him reaching out to Blackarachnia because he desperately wants some semblance of a relationship is a lot more wholesome when it isn't romantically coded. Cheetor is Lonely, so horribly lonely, and so young seeming in comparison to the rest of the cast. He hasn't lost that love for the stars or spiraled into cynicism just yet, and I would much rather explore the ways he tries to reach out to his bitter, jaded teammates. And maybe he's left wanting, maybe he gets tired of being lonely, and maybe he fucks up trying to be like them because "he tried to prove himself." And maybe that scene where Optimus, Silverbolt, and Rattrap reach out to him has a little more weight because it isn’t just Cheetor trying to be an adult, but a Cheetor that tried to be them and post Feral Cheetor has real fucking consequences and isn't just a cool upgrade.

I want that episode where Rattrap finds out they spat on Dinobot’s memory by making him into a "dishonorable" clone and goes ballistic. I want him to find the memories Dinobot stowed away and be conflicted. Is it Dinobot without the spark? Could he live with only a shade? Would Dinobot even want that? I want him to try and fail and be utterly distraught over the whole damn thing. I want him to be angry every time he sees Dinobot 2. I want Rhinox to try and fail to comfort him. I want Cheetor to sit with him, neither speaking but both knowing they're in this fucked up mess together now. CONSEQUENCES. WHERE ARE THEY. GIVE THEM TO ME.

I also just really want Blackarachnia to have closer bonds with the team??? Idk, I'm vibin well enough with her and Silverbolt but tbh I'd really just like her to have an episode where she's hanging out with someone else and Isn’t A Complete Rude Person. I think that's something I actually really vibed with in Beast Machines (although my memory there is still pretty fuzzy, I'll probably have to rewatch that to say for sure) Blackarachnia could actually work with the team in a friendly and occasionally sweet way. She was capable of a blunt and angry sort of kindness. Should that happen right away? Nah of course not, she needs to get comfy with her shiny new Dumbfuck Teammates. But there’s no real Solid Connections there other than Silverbolt, which is purely romantic. (Once again I emphasize Cheetor and Found Family)

Rhinox just needs more in general. If I had to guess the reason he was made a villain in beast machines was because he is only Meh as a Developed character after Blackarachnia shows up and takes over tech wise, not to mention rattrap is also pretty damn techy when he wants to be.(it was also probably to increase tension since his whole deal is being diplomatic but that's a separate thing) Sort of an issue when you make them scientists but don't have them specialize in anything and, more importantly, have a weakness in anything. If your character is simply the backup scientist when the other one is out of commission u gotta problem. Rhinox is stagnant personality wise, I can’t honestly say anything about him changes in the whole series. He has functionally gained nothing from this perilous journey, no real trauma, no bonds he didn't already have with the team, not even an upgrade in form. Isn’t rattrap supposed to be his best friend???? SHOW ME MORE THEN. Seriously if this show had let me have Rights I’m not saying I wouldn’t have loved if we had actually Really Dug In to a character arc or something about Rattrap and the concept of Honor vs Loyalty but that’s exactly what I’m saying lets talk about that. Season One Rattrap they played with this a little (After the whole early on “I would not send someone to do something I would not do myself” and “double agent rattrap” WHICH NO ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE IF THAT HAPPENED ANY LATER THAN IT DID SINCE RATTRAP IS SO ANTIPRED) and the whole Dinobot thing really wedged it in (”But at least you know where he stands”) AND THEN FROM MY SHODDY MEMORIES OF BEAST MACHINES ITS PLAYED WITH EVEN MORE WHEN HE FUCKING GOES TO MEGATRON BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS BEING A LITTLE BITCH TO HIM

Where was I going with this? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh yeah LISTEN Rattrap and his morals are Very Fascinating and I really wished there was more about that. Like, he gives no shits about Doing What’s Right or Being A Good Person, but he rewards friendship and loyalty and not getting him killed by miles. And despite his Hatefest Dinobot he was actually really... shocked? Offended??? about Dinobot handing over the disc because you’re an asshole but you’re also our asshole what fuckery is this did all our arguments mean nothing to you. And then attempting to join Megatron in BM because he might be Evil and it might be Bad Moral Conduct but fuck morals his teammates were being shitty friends. Is that petty of him? Maybe, but if the maximals had been evil but still genuinely kind and caring towards Rattrap I don’t believe he would ever leave for a second, not for all the Morals or Its The Right Thing To Do in the world. And that’s why darkfics that still use Found Family are the best! The End.

All the characters would actually be the size of their animals because goddamit I want a tiny Rattrap that has to be carried around by the others while he screeches indignantly. Or at the very least make him just a little smaller. Just a bit. And maybe they all have a big Sleep Pile. I like physical affection and cuddling and things no I don't care if they're robots no I don’t take criticism. Dinobot would have feathers fight me.

Optimus has died, been tortured, and painfully grew to like 3 times his size why doesn’t he have ptsd someone give him a hug.

Could we have waited for Airrazor and Tigatron to get kidnapped???? We should have gotten more for them. Let me see them more often. LISTEN THEY’RE VERY CUTE I LOVE THEM SHUT UP.

WHICH LMAO BRINGS ME RIGHT BACK TO CHEETOR BECAUSE HE CONSIDERED AIRRAZOR AND TIGATRON HIS BROTHER AND SISTER AND HE THINKS THEYRE GONE FOREVER AND THEN ITS NEVER REALLY BROUGHT UP AGAIN LIKE CHEETOR AND FOUND FAMILY REALLY SHOULD BE EXPLORED HERE

Silverbolt is fun, but suffers from the same problem as Blackarachnia where all you really remember about them Relationship wise is the one they have with each other. Who does Silverbolt like best among the maximals, who does he like the least? And if I'm erasing that weird Cheetor crush thing then their interactions probably have a lot less tension so... what else do they have.

Depth Charge is an unrepentant asshole and I love him. He is so hostile but it doesn’t stop him from begrudgingly helping out on occasion. He also gave Optimus some backstory??? Like not as much as my greedy Character Loving hands would have wanted but GIVE ME.

Other Stuff:

Nothing will ever be as funny as Optimus being like “Evacuate the base you’re all gonna die” and Rhinox grabbing his fucking plant

Blackarachnia Craves Power

Cheetor suffer from Bad Bondage multiple times throughout the series, but specifically during the web I remember Tarantulas leaning over him and thinking “wow this is kind of... date gone wrong vibes??? What the fuck”

Rattrap and Dinobot: *Spot each other from any distance* Miracle Hatemance has entered the chat

Why is Megatron wearing roller skates. Who did this. Why.

“Spider/Bird dog is hetero nonsense” - everyone who has to bear witness to them ever, including me the viewer

Tarantulas is completely done with any attempts to seduce him. Ever.

Airrazor tries so hard to be cool and hip oh my god she is a complete dork i love her

“FOR THE ROYALTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY”

please be nice to Waspinator he’s trying his best

Rhinox: exists

Me: hello yes sir I love u wise mentor sir

Holy shit Dinobot’s death scene is a gut punch. Rattrap honestly is what makes this scene perfect. I have never seen him so respectful or emotional is a way that wasn’t meant for comedic relief.

That scene, man

Tigatron’s speech about bringing beast mode and robot mode together is like foreshadowing to beast machines. Or it isn’t. Idk. Would have been really nice if they, yknow,

bothered to bring up literally anything from the previous series to beast machines

(yes its been awhile since I’ve seen Beast Machines, but I do remember that being my primary complaint.)

This series is so cheesy but Thundercats is still cheesier so its fine

Rattrap was canonically a miner at some point apparently.

He’s also super prejudiced and honestly that’s interesting. HONESTLY SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO SEE DISCUSSED IN BEAST MACHINES IS THE SUPER MEGA DIVIDE IN PREDS AND MAXIMALS BUT I GUESS WE WEREN’T GETTING THAT OH WELL

The ‘Everyone is blind’ episode was always one of my favorites and it never gets old

Upon rewatching the series I have concluded Cheetor is Babey. Which is weird because I didn’t think much of him from what I remember. Shift in perspective I suppose. They really made Rhinox farting the thing that saves the day, huh. What even was season one.

BITCH THAT IS A TERRIBLE WAY TO TRANSPORT MEGATRON NO WONDER HE FUCKING CONQUERED CYBERTRON Y’ALL DESERVED THIS HONESTLY

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in conclusion:

Rattrap is my new religion apparently

#Beast Wars #listen listen listen #i have a lot of feelings #honestly I doubt this will be my actual conclusion im sure ill post this and instantly remembered something else to talk about #Look I have seen very little of the transformers honestly #I watched gen1 as a kid and beast wars and beast machine #and thats it #if you dont count a couple comics I have stashed in a drawer somewhere #i do not count them #I tried to read this over again #realized i dont know how formatting works #and have decided to just post it anyway so have fun with that

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #383

“the big bully try to stick his finger in my chest / try to tell me, tell me he’s the best / i don’t really give a good goddamn ‘cuz i got my lunchbox & i’m armed real well”

Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''lunchbox'' by marilyn manson

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bisluthq · 3 years

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Ugh god I get so annoyed at leftist gatekeepers. This is the reason ppl don’t want to leave the right and join the left lmaoooo

So like I fell down the rabbit hole in high school and ended up leaning conservative. I never loved trump, thank god (I was a Rand Paul Republican which in hindsight is also gross bc he’s a trump shill now). I was complicit with trump but I mean I was 16 so lol what did I know right. I was one of the few conservatives in my high school.

And I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m privileged. I’m white, my family is pretty well off (well we used to be in debt and stuff but like my dad makes good money he’s just in an iffy business so he’s gotten laid off sometimes) and I was raised Catholic. I am bisexual but like I was confused in high school (who wasn’t). Still.

I went to college and I switched my major to nursing and then all this shit with COVID made me realize how awful conservative values are (especially when there’s a fucking pandemic!) and how we need a better healthcare system. Like should I have changed my values earlier? Probably. But it was covid that changed my mind and it was nursing school and like 🤷‍♀️ if it took Joe to change Taylor’s mind then it did. And I agree her attempts at political advocacy are horrendous lmao but like idk. There’s no point in nitpicking IMO. Like she’s on our side. Obviously she’s not going to be a communist ACAB person anytime soon (like I’m not either lol) but like if she voted blue in this election then maybe we shouldn’t be hurling vitriol at her lmao and focus on trying to convert more actual republicans. Like this is just so unproductive and it’s not the real issue.

And like idk do you want these people on your side? I get you shouldn’t baby these people, like if I had someone come argue with me and tell me I was wrong maybe I’d have snapped out of it years ago (and like obvi people like trump and Cruz should be punished). But like if they start coming over to the left and you’re like “well you USED TO believe this”. Like what does that do??? Nothing. And who cares how someone gets there as long as they get there right??? Lmao sorry for the novel but like this just irks me

No I really actively agree with you and I’m generally anti gatekeeping right like in all aspects of life. I’m not gonna decide how much of a progressive, or a queer, or a Jew, or a woman someone is. Like it’s not my call to make. I don’t think we should hurl shit at her either.

But I think we can make nuanced critiques from a place of love and respect and admiration IN THIS SPACE especially since we know gatekeeping lefties are gonna go do it on main and we may as well clarify our arguments to be able to respond to those people.

Like I hear you, I’m glad you changed your mind, and you’re like... enough.

I believed some weird shit too over the years. I’ve always been lefty leaning but I’ve said FUCKED UP SHIT and believed strange ideas tbh. It’s okay to change your mind about stuff.

But it’s also okay to like.... talk about this stuff because advocating for people to be better, especially when done from a place of love, can make the world a better place. Like yesterday we discussed religion and one of my favorite influencers is Adina Miles-Sash who is SO PASSIONATE about Judaism and being frum but she’s also REALLY KEEN TO MAKE FRUMKEIT PRO WOMEN. And when she criticizes people it’s not to say, “fuck this it’s not enough” it’s “fuck this I know you can be better”.

And honestly that’s me on Tay’s politics but I’m not even writing op eds about it because I genuinely love her too much like it is enough. But she can be better.

And I love your frontline, progressive, bi woman self being an active part of the community here!

#nat talks tay’s politics #nat talks social stuff

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2telluthetruth · 3 years

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before i watch some shit i gotta know how the story ends. if not, ima critically analyze the whole movie until i figures it... it usually takes me 30 minutes to figure out the whole plot but that’s besides the point. knowing the ending of a movie allows me to pay attention to alll the little things leading up to the end. the directors choice in lighting, the way that certain actor did a certain movement to portray a certain feeling, setting, like camera work, basically everything i just the last 4 years of my life studying get applied to my enjoyment of a film.

I wish life was like that... you get to like google how it all ends for you. like what will happen in your life all the way to the end. you can always have what you envisioned for yourself, your plan, your schedule of things but then life has a funny way of letting you know that shit happens. and you learn whatever it is you need to from that incident, apply the lesson, and keep going. it’s actually pretty simple. like looking both ways before you cross the street and still almost getting hit by a car because a person felt the need to speed thru an intersection because maybe he had a family emergency or he had too much to drink. regardless life will thro curveballs, ain’t that fucked up? like bitch. lemme read my book of life so i can move accordingly. but i guess that’s not fun anyways because God would just tell us what to do and there would be no free will. and we all know how people hate being told what to do with there life from a higher up lmao

....but idk none of this shit really applies to me. I guess I’ll just share my testimony here since I'm only people who really give a fuck about me would give a fuck about this post. ( Which i recently found out is ME, i’m the only person who opinions/decisons matter when it comes to me life)

SO HERE IT GOES

Since a child, I always knew i was going to be a very wealthy person. I’m smarter than my peers, i’m stronger than my peers, and way more wiser than most of people i meet. It’s very rare I met a person who’s intellect is as diverse as mine in terms of emotional knowledge and regular book smart shit. Like i’m sort of a hood intellectual, but like different because my Dad is a foreigner who comes from i guess what you would call a decent background, My grandfather was an engineer in Germany lmao. Like wtf. That’s very hard to do. Them mfs got some history of disrcrimnation if you know what I mean. And another ancestor of mine on my father side was adopted by the priest of a missionary because he was so smart, hence why my last name has french origins. and you know what i found out this year during my research dives on the different religions in the world..

There is a Saint in the catholic religion named St. Malo and his birthday is the same birthday as mine. He’s french as well. LMAO SO like i said I AM BUILT DIFFERENT. But that’s not what i really wanted to go talk about so let’s talk about how I’ve always knew I am dying a extremely rich woman. First of my name type shit.

So yeah.

I LOVE PERFORMING AND PUTTING ON A SHOW OKAY! SINCE BIRTH!

I’m not even dramatic. I remember dancing in front of my family all the time. Ask my auntie teena and she’d tell ya I would dance in front of anybody at any place in a drop of a dime. There’s literal footage of me dancing at every function at BayBay (Vivian) house. Lmao I still dance with all my family members at the bbqs I attend. Dancing really is my shit.

Singing is too.

I remember going to church with my daddy, some spot in LA/ the Jamaican jawn with uncle Jerry, and singing “Because of who you are” in front of everybody. No fucks given, And i kid you not I felt the holy ghost. That’s the best feeling in the world. Happened to me a couple times but I’ll tell ya bout it later some day when it matters. i remember one time coming home and singing and HITTING THAT HIGH PITCH ASS MARIAH CAREY NOTE! ( we got the same birthday too)

and i always loved music. the only time i didn’t cry was in my daddy cars listening to the reggae and bass booming thru the fucking trunk.

During school I remember performing all the time. School plays, I got the lead role. School assembly, I’m putting on a show. Shit even for my 5th graduation I choreographed the whole MJ we are the world dance routine. Lol for hispanic heritage month I always was the girl who had the authentic skirt for the folklore dance. it was black and red. Very pretty. Mrs. Sanchez was enamored with me girl. She was like your the star you gone be centerstage in the middle only black girl while everyone else wonder why your on stage lmao. We were so good we entered a competition and got a trophy.

Basketball was fun. I do not like team sports so that ain’t work out. Plus i think i suck. Well I couldn’t have been that bad because in middle school I made the All City team. I didn’t play because my hair wasn’t done I kept the jersey though LMAO. They was hot. HS was whatever. Lowkey only did it because of the niggas and cheer was boring/got too intense for me. I had commitment issues back then like crazy lmao.

Track was fun too. Made championships when I ran. Heart really wasn’t into to it if I’m keeping it G-Real. Didn’t fuck with the track meets plus the girls on the team hated me. I was always with the guys but the weren’t like the guys i hung out with all the time. them niggas was squares, homeschooled and all that. i hung out with delinquents lmao. Shit they always more fun. I know why Jesus hung out with the sinners mmkay. They loyal and know how to have a good time.

In middle school, I won a poetry contest about this poem I had about being a tree and not falling despite what happens. I also got like award for being the top 3% of scoring in the whole district a couple times. Moms got me a iPod touch lmao.

High school ASB President, got accepted into more than 20+ colleges, in AVID. Cheer team. Basketball team. My drama Teacher, Mrs. Borek called me the baby Viola Davis. I directed and produced my own play lol. Boy, when I graduated I was on stage with admin and faculty.

But anyways overall,

I’ve always been the cream of the crop in any arena I apply myself. And I’ve never ever experienced a situation where I’ve been down bad that I didn’t plot and maneuver my way out of it (besides the shit that happened this year 2020 but i’ll give my 2020 review later ). I’m continuously blessed. Even when I shouldn’t be.

In elementary, I could’ve caught a case because I punched this boy in the head and he hit the tetherball pole then the floor. Buddy was knotted up lmao

In elementary school during after school day care I banged this girl head on the table and a pole lmao.

In the carmelitos i gave this girl the business at auntie meanies house. Abri said beat her ass so I did. Trust me daddy, I’m always on go lmao. Her family was from some type of hood. They ain’t retaliate.

Middle school I was beating boys up after school never got in trouble. LMAO None of the girls wanted to fight with they scary ass.

High school I did the dumbest shit freshman year but didn’t get suspended. \bro i’m tired. i’ll tell the rest later. but closing statement life’s a gamble for people who don’ t know the code. once you figure out your role play to the best of your ability and pray to God to constantly look out for you. * 4:48

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swellwriting · 4 years

Text

A NEW ORDER - Part 1

- Knowledge meets Power -

Warnings: None.

A/N: Okay so hear me out, this chapter is a lot I know, and it’s necessary to set up the story in future parts!! I promise we will meet Mando soon I just had to get the story building out of the way. Also, I know there’s sexual tension between The Senator and Luke, trust me it serves a purpose (conflicts later on and such). I’m not just trying to sexualize everyone’s favourite Space Twink for no reason lmao.

Summary: Leia & crew visits Chandrila, The Senator meets Luke, books are read, plans are made, Jedi training takes place, young Ben Solo is cute, The Senator leaves Chandrila to start her mission to go to the bounty guild in the Outer Rim.

Word Count: 3.8k Series Masterlist Part 2

The New Republic is thriving, and you could not be more proud. Working with the Rebellion to help bring down the Empire, saying goodbye to the Old Republic, issuing the peace treaty with the Galactic Empire which was now in non existence (aside from the parts of the galaxy that remained out of reach of the New Republic where loyal Imperialists fled to hide) and demilitarizing according to the act that was issued following the treaty.

It was work that made you feel good, confident, the kind of politics you flourished in, knowing that you were on the right side, there were no Palpatine’s rising to power, no Empire in the shadows, just plain politics working just the way they should.

It would probably make you sound insane if you were to tell anyone you were growing bored with it, well maybe there was one sole person who could understand.

“Leia!” You exclaimed as your long-time friend walked into the room. You were in Hanna City in Chandirlla, in the empty building that was sometimes the capital building for the Republic, sat in a large meeting room at a long empty table. Though you were sat alone almost every seat had books in front of it.

“I think you read a little too much,” Leia teased as she sat in the seat beside you and picked up one of the books you had taken from the Republic’s large library of books recovered from the Old Republic.

“I don't think there’s such a thing, with a galaxy so large there’s so much to learn and if we ignore the past history is bound to repeat itself.”

“And what’s your interest in the pasts of the Jedi?” She asks flipping open one of the books which contains the Jedi code.

“I think perhaps it’s an outdated religion, but I could see a resurgence if perhaps more force-sensitive people were to come forward and be willing to work together to create a new and improved Jedi Order, separated from the Republic this time.”

“So not politics related? You must be bored.”

“That’s an excellent way to put it, I feel as if I have achieved everything I aimed to with the New Republic, helping to build it into what it is today and seeing the Empire fall from power. I want to move onto other things.”

“You sound exactly like Luke, I really need to introduce you two,” she teases, knowing you have asked her countless times, then she turns to leave the room.

“You should, I’d love to meet him and see what he’s like. My strength with the force is minuscule but given what he’s accomplished, I’m sure he could teach me a few things.”

“I’ll tell him to come to meet you,” she says, her back still facing you as she leaves the room.

“Leia wait, when? Also, what are you even doing here? The New Republic’s capital was moved to Hosnian prime, you know that? There’s nothing here for you?”

“That’s not true, you’re here and you are the only person high up in the New Republic who will listen to me about the rising threat of the First Order, though small I still don’t trust them ever since they left their wing of the New Republic, they have been lurking in the shadows since, probably growing in the sess pool of the Outer Rim.” Spoken like a true princess.

“True yes, and I understand your concern but there’s nothing I can do besides sending your informative report to those above me, again.”

“And will you, again?” She asks and she has this sly smile, you know you can’t say no to.

“Of course, I’ll send them the report until their datapads crash and their trash compactors are filled.”

“See, that’s why I came to Chandrila! I did live here at one point too if you haven’t forgotten, Ben was born here, we like to visit.” She teases you further, knowing you meant no judgment in your question. You’re walking beside her, down the barren hallways of the fancy building. Hallways that were once bustling with people but the ever-rotating capital stays true to its promise, it is not solely on one planet, travelling from different places in the systems.

“So when do you think you can introduce me to your brother? I'm not all that busy right now, there are no elections coming up, I can travel whenever, wherever.”

“Can you walk outside?” She quips and leaves you standing there confused as she leaves the building, you follow her after a moment, doubling up your steps to catch up with her until the sunshine and the bright purple skies fill your eyes.

You follow her to the familiar-looking Millenium Falcon that’s parked in the Senate houses hangar bay, the ramp is down and you can see Chewy with a four-year-old Ben Solo on his shoulders trying to fix or adjust something on the Falcon.

Han is sat in the grass with Luke standing in front of him talking about something in-depth that looks like it’s boring Han because his head shoots up when he sees the two of you approach.

“Senator!” Han exclaims standing up and dusting himself off.

“Solo!” You say with a cheesy smile as he wraps you in a hug getting some of the dirt he failed to wipe off on your long yellow and white dress.

“I'm Solo too!” Ben yells from the top of Chewy’s shoulders.

“And how is my favourite Solo doing today.” You ask as you look up at Ben.

“I'm great!” He yells with a bright smile from you calling him your favourite.

“Luke, this is our good friend, the one I was talking to you about before we got here.”

“Hi, I’m Luke.” He says with a smile as he walks up to you, offering his hand to shake. You can instantly see the resemblance between him and Leia but Luke smiles different, perhaps a bit more cheery than Leia usually is.

“Hello.”

“You’re the one Leia mentioned, you can uh, feel the force right?”

“Yes, but as I was telling her it doesn't mean much I don’t have a lot of control over it.” You try to undermine yourself, not wanting to make a big deal of it, something you kept secret for so long was now less taboo and it was hard to get used to even talking about it without it feeling wrong or strange.

“But you want to learn?” He asks and his voice is gentle, he seems kind and he gains your trust too soon.

“I’d like to yes, but I’m afraid I’m rather new to this whole thing, it was something I really kept to myself as I focused on politics and the New Republic.”

“But now her focus is on rebuilding a better and new Jedi Order.” Leia cuts in revealing your plans before you even properly had made them. You open your mouth but close it as no words manage to come out, trying to explain yourself.

“Well I'm new to this too, the teaching aspect, but I can try my best,” Luke assures you with a smile, he is quite sweet.

“Then you can teach me!” Ben yells as he runs to his uncle’s feet.

“Someday sure buddy.” Luke pats Ben’s hair as he looks up at his uncle with total admiration.

You bring Luke inside the Chandrila Senate House and into the meeting room where you have laid out all the books. The ceilings are tall and the walls are smooth stone as daylight pours in through the windows. He follows you in silence. You are too star-struck to talk to him and he finds you far too intimidating to say a thing. Outside when surrounded by his family he felt at ease, you were but a newcomer to him, a stranger asking him for guidance but in here you were like a princess in your palace, quickly maneuvering down the halls, your long dress flowing behind you, posture perfect and steps calculated as if the entire planet was watching you.

He wondered if that was you unconsciously using the force or if you really just seemed to flow through space like that as if the wind existed just to move your dress as you walked.

“This is a lot of books,” he says as he enters the room behind you and picks a few to look at them, “I have been looking for some of these for a long time, do you think I can borrow them after you’ve read them, or had a droid upload them?”

“Oh,” You say flatly by accident.

“Oh?” He asks.

“I've already read them all actually, that one there I’m reading a second time, the Jedi code, for I think it’s important when building new rules to take a look at the old ones and see what needs changing, so you can take all of them if you’d like.”

“You are writing new rules?” He asks as he flips through the pages of the Jedi Code.

“Yes, I tend to approach things such as this by learning as much as I can, I wrote everything important into my notebook, I can have a droid input it onto a datapad for you if you’d like a copy of that as well?”

“Sure, has Leia mentioned my plans to you?” He asks, confused why you seem to be organizing so many things together to help create a new system and new rules and teachings for a new age of Jedi all on your own.

“No, I just became bored with the New Republic, so this was like a side project I took on, it was meant to be a much smaller thing but I couldn’t help myself.”

“It’s brilliant, I mean, you put a lot of work into something that I’ve been thinking about doing for years. I want to create a new order of Jedi like there was before like my father was in but better.”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking! For what I lack in skill I make up for in knowledge if you need any help I’d be happy to lend a hand in any way I can.”

“Well I can teach you the ways of the force, strengthen your control over it, help you find a lightsabre of your own, and you can share some of that knowledge with me?”

“Perfect!” You exclaim as you take the book from his hands and put it down beside your notebook, taking a seat and offering him the seat beside you. He sits and moves close to you to see what your reading as your fingers trace up the page and over your delicately inked words. It was rare for someone to still use ink and paper when datapads were much more easily available and common.

“So here are a few rules I think need changing, to be more modern. I for one think The Jedi Order should be it’s own sperate entity from the New Republic while also working with them given they are the government in the galaxy, but separate to avoid and repetition... of last time.”

You explain and he nods as you flip the pages to a list of rules that you marked as outdated.

“What’s this rule you rewrote?” He asks and your face heats up as you know exactly which rule it is.

“Oh, yes that one. Well Jedi’s were all strictly ordered under celibacy in the past, and though I agree that not forming attachments is very important to the way of the Jedi I do think Celibacy is unimportant in that factor, as long as there are no attachments involved….” you prolong the last words as you look up from the paper to find he’s already looking at you. His cheeks are flushed pink and his eyes are a bit wide as he nods his head slowly.

“Yeah, I think… I agree with you. Yes,” he manages to get the words out and you can’t help but feel your face heat up at the whole conversation topic.

“Okay, good.” You agree as Luke stands up abruptly.

“So tomorrow, I’ll meet you back here and we can start your training?”

“Okay, I’ll be here right in the morning after breakfast.”

“Good, um wear something a little less-” Luke tries to explain but can’t find the words as he looks you up and down, your lightly coloured dress that shows your collar bones and shoulders, it puddles at your feet and is tight on your waist, taking over his thoughts

“Less?” You ask, unsure what he means and he quickly stutters to correct himself.

“No, not less. I meant um, wear something less regal, more um, something fit for agility if you have anything… like that”

“Oh, of course,” You say as you both stand in the room awkwardly facing each other, faces hopelessly red, you can feel the nerves flowing between you through the force, neither of you addresses this as he quickly nods and then rushes out of the room.

You stand there for a moment, chest heaving as you catch your breath and calm yourself, thinking over and analyzing each word of the conversation and the dynamic which turned so awkward once you both were alone.

“I can feel the sexual energy in the room, so either you’re going to sleep with my brother or you enjoy reading these books a little too much,” Leia says as she enters the room loudly.

“No, kriff no, Leia I just, we were just. I'm not sexually attracted to books.” You blurt out.

“But you are to my brother.”

“What! No, I ...we were talking about rules and such.”

“That sounds like foreplay when it comes to you.”

“Leia!” You shout covering your face with your hands.

“Relax, I don’t mind, he needs a woman in his life.”

“I'm not trying to sleep with your brother or do anything besides help him bring a new Jedi Order in place and learn the ways of the force from him, nothing more.”

“Personally I think you need a little something more but if you’re fine being married to a library of books I won’t judge, regardless Ben is adamant that you need to have dinner with us, so could you part with your books long enough to eat something?” She asks and you nod, fanning your face briefly as you follow her out the door and to the nice house just outside the capital that they lived in when Ben was first born.

Being the Senator of Chandrila meant you never really left, it was convenient when the New Republic was based here but now you just travelled to Hosnian prime whenever they called you to a meeting or connected through holo tech.

You much preferred the quietness that lingered when the Capital of the city was so empty, your council and the few droids that kept the Senate House looking so pristine were the only people still here, aside from the residents.

In the following days, you trained with Luke and discussed the future of the Jedi. Before you knew it he was giving you a lightsabre of your own that used to belong to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Han said he got it from a friend who bought it off a scrapper after the Death Star was destroyed. You had read about Obi-Wan Kenobi and you were glad to have such a respected Jedi Master’s lightsabre, one that was almost lost forever.

It was the last night before your friends were going to leave Chandrila, you were confident in your skills and Luke had a good understanding of the route you two were going to take with this.

“So whats next?” You ask as you sit in the meeting room with Luke once again.

“There’s still a lot of planning to be done, we need to decide on a planet to home the school, a safe location.”

“Any places in mind?”

“Well, I have to do some travelling to find a place, there are also more books and things that I need to track down. But we mostly need students and that’s where I thought you could come in.”

“You want me to find the students?”

“For most of your life you were hiding the fact that you could feel the force, I think you know what it’s like and you are best suited for recruiting, plus your political side makes you hard to argue with. A lot of these people will be children, very young.” He pauses as he senses your nervousness at such a grand task, doubting yourself and your abilities. “I sense so much light within you, so much hope and kindness that I believe you are best to tackle this. If you want to that is.”

“No of course I do! I’d gladly take that job! I’ll take a break from my political duties with the New Republic and with the help of my pilot droid I’ll track down the future students!”

“I have a feeling, though I hope it’s not true, Han had suggested it and ever since I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“What is it?” You ask as you grab his arm, his tone turning more serious.

“You are a competent fighter and stronger with the force than I thought you would be. If I didn’t have faith that you could do this I wouldn't let you but I think the best way to track these children down is to follow rumours, the problem is that the remnants of the empire will also be following these rumours, tracking down these children, putting bounties on them. So you should go to the bounty guild, the one in the Outer Rim and see how many you can get information on. You may run into a bounty hunter or a few while tracking down these kids so be careful. Then when you find them bring them back here in secrecy, this is your planet I’m sure you can keep them safe here until I establish a place for the school.”

“Okay, I’ll follow any intel I can get and I’ll contact you on the holo transmitter I gave you.” You confirm, pointing the holo transmitter you gave him in his hands.

“Great, I’ll keep you updated too and once I find a planet suitable I’ll join you?”

“Okay,” you say and then smile at him, it felt good, this plan felt good. You had a surge of confidence fill your bones, he believed in you and that meant so much.

“So does this make me a Jedi now?” You tease as he gets up and goes to leave the room.

“I grant you the rank of Jedi Knight,” he jokes, though he is being serious the words feel funny on his tongue, being a teacher and a Jedi Master will be weird.

“Jedi Knight, Senator of Chandrila, member of the New Republic, I like all these fancy titles I have.”

“Well, they suit you,” he compliments as he looks over your appearance again, you still have on a fancy dress, it’s light blue and purple which resembles the sunsets on Chandrila, your light sabre is strapped to your thigh under your dress perfectly concealed if not for the high slit in your dress which makes it visible. His eyes trail up your long legs, admiring you before meeting your eyes and then nervously looking away before forcing out a cough. “I better go.”

“Talk to you soon,” you say as you had already said goodbye to your friends earlier. You watch as he walks away, haste in his step as he boards the falcon, picking up Ben who was stood on the ramp waving to you ecstatically. The Falcon doesn't fly away for a few minutes until it reopens again and Luke walks out, his droids close behind him.

You walk down the steps meeting him halfway, Luke runs up to you almost bumping into you.

“Take my droids with you, R2 can help with flying and computers and Threepio can help you with translating and keeping you company.”

“I am fluent in over six million forms of communications!” The tall golden robot says matter of factly.

“I will take good care of them,” you say with a wide smile before closing the space and wrapping your arms around Luke, encasing him in a grateful hug, “thank you.”

“It’s no problem, I wish I could give you more.” He says casually, you notice the holo transmitter is strapped to his belt, keeping it close to him. You were glad to be building this new Jedi Order with Luke, you couldn’t imagine trying to work with anyone else, he was a great teacher, a gentle soul, a bit foolish but strong with the force.

It gave you hope, this mission should be a breeze! You watched the Falcon fly off and then went to your room to pack up some things and load your ship. You had a Star Yacht, which technically was one of the Chandrila Star Ships but you had total clearance to take yours used for travelling from Chandrila to Hosnian Prime anywhere in the galaxy as you saw fit, no one was going to question your flight plans anyways.

You had a pilot droid which was modelled after the one of a kind droid L3-37 which belonged to Lando Calrissian and got a bit of fame from freeing the slaves on Kessel. When you found the model which only resembled the original droid you had to have it, though none of the personality was shared you were still glad to have a one of kind pilot droid with a personality of her own. You considered hooking her up to the falcon to take what bits of L3 that were integrated when the original droid died, but decided L3 was better off as part of the Falcon, resurrecting droids wasn’t your strong suit anyway. Your droid, L8-39 was a calm droid, precise in her piloting and hated her nickname L8 because she was in fact, never late.

Your ship was just meant to be a travelling ship, a yacht in every sense of the word. There was a bedroom compartment not much less than your actual room in the Senate House, it had a small kitchenette, storage, lots of guest space, a lounge room and was built for comfort and elegance with its shiny chrome exterior.

Though it had a strong shield there were little to no offensive procedures in place, you packed your blaster, your lightsabre and some other handy things that remained after the demilitarization act and decided with your fancy ship, L8, Threepio and R2 you were more than capable.

- Part 2

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lordeasriel · 3 years

Note

I really care about your opinion, how do you feel about the bbc show and the way it's going?

I feel like before I give my take, I need to say that I understand the show is its own thing, and while I do wish they did a better job adapting certain things, I understand that sometimes there is a need for radical change or cut, especially when your budget is not super high (which HDM does have a lot of money into it, still is not a super big budget production, so they have to worry about these things). And I do enjoy many things about the show, but my overall vibe is mixed, to be honest. I’m stating this now because people often question whether I like the show or not, becaus I do criticise it a lot, and I simply have a critic view of the things I like, which is why I discuss them a lot and it can be overwhelming.

My main issues with the show are these 3 things: (which I’ll put under the cut because this got a bit longer than I wanted to lmao sorry)

Lack of worldbuilding and loose lore: I’ve been talking about this since day one, and this mostly applies to season 1 because I can’t judge season 2 yet because it’s not fully aired yet, but the show suffers from lack of worldbuilding, especially in Lyra’s world, which is the world that sets everything in motion. I still dislike the fact they introduced Will mid-NL, I don’t think he needed all those episodes to establish something that easily could’ve been done in S2 and because they gave TSK a lot of time, other parts of Lyra’s world suffered considerably, mainly the witches and the Magisterium.

The show doesn’t really expand on those two groups, especially, and I think that’s not good, especially the Magisterium (which they have over simplified by making it one big baddie, or so it seems at least, not to mention that implying a single leader for them practically ruins Marcel Delamare’s arc in TBOD and I’m very mad about that lmao). A lot of the Magisterium plot has that infighting aspect, which creates tension on their side as well as against their enemies, but the show doesn’t really explore that or the nuances of the Church, and they also don’t explore how varied the witches are, and I feel like this is a serious mistake. (The portrayal of the witches is by far my least favourite thing in the show, if I’m being honest).

Dull parallel world (and lack of daemons): this ties a bit with the worldbuilding aspect, but this is mainly about design choices. I think the show doesn’t make Lyra’s world as unique as it should be. On its own the world looks pretty and the outfits of most of the cast are great, but when you realise that Will’s world is intertwined with that, you don’t really feel like these two worlds are vastly different.

There is an odd situation in which Marisa’s fashion feels 30s/40s, but most of the men from her social circle (not fair to compare with the gyptians) just wear plain suits and they look much more modern. And while I get that they went for a timeless vibes, with different eras and styles, Lyra’s world feels like a caricature and it doesn’t feel believable. The colour palette is mostly the same for both worlds (even in s2, it’s hard to tell much of the difference because either the scenes are indoors or at night.) This, paired with the lack of daemons (which has been discussed many times in the fandom) kinda bums me out.

Marisa’s oversimplification: I’m mentioning Marisa, specifically, because she is the one that suffers the most due to this writing issues, but other characters like Lord Asriel, MacPhail, the general collective of the Witches, they all suffer from the writing trying to take away the nuances of them and make them flatter than in the book. Marisa is the worst because without her complexity and her flaws, she simply gets dull and boring and flavourless, and it’s kinda what has been happening in the show in my opinion. All she does is weep and she has no strength that doesn’t rely on a random fit of rage that dies out and she gets upset. There’s some great moments, like when she mimics the Monkey, but most of the time she’s just a shadow of who she is supposed to be.

The show tries really hard to make her a Scorned Mother - right from the get go, they try to makes us see how she wants Lyra, how she struggles with her “bad nature” and how that affects their relationship. There is this lingering implication that Lyra was taken from her against her wishes; they make it seem like being a mother to Lyra is her driving force, the only reason why she seeks power and influence. And that is the opposite of Book! Marisa, who is a force of nature, ruthless and ambitious, with not an ounce of maternal instinct.

She does eventually decide to help Lyra, instead of harming her, but even that action comes from a narcisistic place: Lyra is to her a possession, something that belongs to her, and that she wants to preserve. The show just handles her badly, falling into overused, boring tropes that struck far from the book version.

These are usually my main complaints about the show, and they upset me every episode to the point I’m practically ignoring them now lmao The show does a lot of good things too, making Will less of a prick, restoring Lyra’s personality from the first book into S2 Lyra (so far, please keep it that way), Mary is looking great too. They have mostly a great cast, and they did improve the daemons this season (except uh, there are far less daemons to show because of the other worlds - and the Ruta Skadi daemon change pisses me off tbh).

They do have a lot of interest in the show, but the writing (the main issue to me) feels clunky and childish, with the show toning down most of the themes that make His Dark Materials so special, especially to me (which frankly I expected them to do, but it still stings a bit). They make the Magisterium a single bad entity that feels more Authoritarian-Fascist, than a theocracy (even if they sneak in the religious symbols and rituals and garments, it’s just not a good portrayal, it’s very tame and shy); and they try to justify Marisa’s actions (especially in current interviews, there’s lots of talk about how her background will play in the show to “explain why she is the way she is”). The fact the Magisterium is portrayed as pure evil makes it looks less familiar than it should be, and therefore they don’t look scary, they seem like a caricature, a joke.

A lot of the essence of the characters get lost, and the core message of the story too, like when Iorek and the Gyptians tell Lyra she can be one of them, to support her lack of “proper family”, when that is the opposite of the books message. It doesn’t make sense for them to change that, other than maybe Jack Thorne wanted to because it makes the story feels less hopeless, but it’s why he fails to adapt these character - he doesn’t capture the essence, he tries to write these character with gaps in them.

However, the thing that annoys me the most is how they portray Asriel. It’s just... it’s bad. Really bad, which is a shame cause James is talented as fuck, but he had little time to film for season 1, and then they portrayed him very poorly. That scene when he addresses Roger in episode 7 is ridiculous, Asriel would never behave that way; there was relief in him finding Roger was there too, yes, but not to that extent and not in such a cringe way. Asriel is not deranged or irrational, he is a man on a mission, and Roger was a tool (there is no pleasure in Asriel taking his life and no excuses - it needed to be done and he did it); they just needed him to sound creepy in the show for whatever reason.

I hated how they handled the bridge scene for Asriel, Lyra and Marisa, but that’s long and complicated for me to explain here. In S2, there has been some mentions of him so far, including the implication he might have ruined Cittàgazze himself and I frankly don’t understand where did they get that idea. But the cherry on the top was Thorold telling Marisa that Asriel was gonna kill Lyra and that’s just-- that’s so dumb. That’s genuinely dumb writing, because Thorold knows Lyra followed Asriel to the mountain, and while I do believe Asriel would have killed Lyra if Roger wasn’t there, there is no way Thorold should know or consider that Asriel was gonna hurt Lyra, because Roger was there. In fact, Thorold’s interactions with Asriel in episode 8 already disprove this, so either Thorold was lying in S2 for the sake of, I don’t know, chaos or whatever, or the person who wrote this was a five-star, solid gold, fucking moron.

I’m not gonna mention the lost episode because that was no one’s fault, but the fact that they discarded an episode that all information we have on imply that it was important to set up the backstory of the angels and the city, it’s... concerning. It means they wrote something parallel that should’ve been woven into the season.

The truth is, I still watch the show on Sundays, and I still like some stuff they do (especially Mary’s stuff, so far), and despite me slandering the show per your request anon lol (cause unfortunately my honest opinion is mixed, I just don’t try to overfocus on the negative on Tumblr, I mostly talk about it on discord or private), I do think anyone who has read the books should watch the show.

For me, personally, everything I love about HDM is barely on the show - complex characters, the philosophy, the oppression by religion, the interesting world - and the vibe I get is that they’re adapting a coming-of-age love story, which is the last and - being fully honest - the least important message these books give us, but unfortunately they were set to making a family show from the start, and my expectations were high and unmatched, and a family is what we’re getting: toned down, cute, pretty visuals and soulless (heh, pun intended), philosophically speaking. I expect a certain pattern going into S3, but I always like to hold out hope that they will hire better writers (apparently Jack Thorne already wrote 4 scripts, so there you go lmao), and try to give HDM the adaptation it deserves. The truth is, if you’re a picky, canon reliant person like I am, the show might be a struggle, but if you just like the story for the teen romance, or if you don’t care about overthinking a show/book, then most people can have a good time with it.

#asks #effie watches hdm #sorry it took me a while and sorry for the gigantic critique #but i wanted to be honest about my take on the show so far #Anonymous

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