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antianakin · 3 months

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Antianakin's Second Anti-Anakin/Pro-Jedi Fic Rec List

Same general idea as the first one, this rec list is dedicated to fics that are critical of Anakin Skywalker. That can mean anything from just emphasizing that the Jedi's philosophies are right even if it means Anakin is wrong, to killing Anakin off in the most gruesome (and probably cathartic) way possible as a consequence for his choices. Since I know there are differing levels of feelings towards Anakin in the people that follow me, I'm going to add in some new helpful terms and redefine the categories slightly. Please note that these are MY personal interpretations of the fics, not the authors' stated intentions.

Helpful terms:

Unfinished - Any fic that is marked as incomplete, or a series where the fic(s) in it are still incomplete and cannot stand alone.

Ongoing - Any series marked as incomplete, but the fics in it are marked as complete or can stand alone as they are.

Critical - The fic critiques Anakin's philosophies and choices, but allows for more sympathy towards his character and situation should the reader desire it.

Anti - The fic specifically presents Anakin in a very negative way without any sympathy for him or his choices.

Anakin/Consequences: Anakin experiences consequences for his actions, but does not die. These fics can be anywhere between "critical" to fully "anti" depending on the author's take.

Spoiler Alert, He Doesn't Make It: Anakin experiences the specific consequence of dying. These fics will likely all fall under the definition of "anti" as opposed to just "critical."

The Galaxy Deserved Better: Focus of the story is more on characters' reactions to Anakin's choices or using other characters and their relationships to critique Anakin's choices in canon. None of these fics will be "anti" Anakin probably, since the critique of Anakin is at best a catalyst for the rest of the story.

I've had people ask me how to FIND more anti-Anakin fics, so here's my tips:

Look at your favorite authors' bookmarks. If you like something someone wrote, chances are they like reading the same stuff you do.

There's always the option of looking into tags, but I've found that very few people actually use "anti" tags on fanfiction, so your best bet is to look into pro Jedi/Jedi appreciation tags as much as possible, and the ones that are truly pro Jedi are often also critical of Anakin simply by design (if he shows up at all).

A lot of these fics take things like the Tusken massacre, Order 66, and Anakin's treatment of Padme, Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, and the clones very seriously. Please take that as a warning if any of those things might be triggering, and keep an eye on the tags for all of the fics included here just in case.

There is no specific order to this. I tried to group fics from one specific author together, but other than that, I didn't place anything in any specific position for a reason.

This is not an exhaustive list of good anti-Anakin fics that exist, obviously. If your fic or your favorite fic isn't on this list, please feel free to rec it yourself in the notes, leave a reply or reblog with a link. I'm happy to read more anti-Anakin fic, especially if it's very Pro-Jedi!

One final reminder: NOTHING IN THIS LIST IS ANAKIN FRIENDLY! That means it's likely not going to be friendly to Anakin specific ships either, particularly Obikin and Anidala. If that's going to bother you to read, please just skip this entire list, it's not for you.

Anakin/Consequences

Blood-born Memories by Siderea (anti, 725):

Quinlan touches Obi-Wan's robe after his "assassination" by Rako Hardeen and ends up picking up some memories and emotions from Anakin that give him some heart-breaking revelations about Anakin's true nature.

Technically this one ends just before any real consequences and so the consequences are more implied, but I love the way Quinlan reacts to the revelations he has in this fic. Quinlan is so obviously horrified by it and heartbroken on Obi-Wan's behalf, but also strong enough as a Jedi to know what he needs to do now. He's already grieving his friend, but he has to set all of that aside to deal with this now more important issue. This fic is supremely unlikely to ever get any follow-up, but thinking about how Obi-Wan would deal with this development upon coming back from his stint undercover is delightfully angsty.

Malfunctions & Mutiny by BitterChocolateStars (anti, 6k):

Obi-Wan loses on Mustafar, but Anakin takes him prisoner and proceeds to kill Palpatine and make Padme Empress. He puts Cody in charge of guarding Obi-Wan, and one day Cody's chip breaks when Anakin tortures Obi-Wan. Cody starts working on an escape plan for everyone, Jedi and clone alike.

The nice thing about fics post Order 66 from clone perspectives is that Anakin tends to be represented as an unforgivable monster and little else. Cody's priority is saving everybody he can and getting them as far away as possible, so he's not interested in trying to understand or sympathize with Anakin when it doesn't serve his purposes. One of the things I really like in this fic is the way we see Rex and Ahsoka react to the revelation of Anakin's betrayal. Ahsoka takes it a lot better than she does in canon, but we get a nice sort-of outsider perspective of Rex struggling with believing it until he doesn't have any other choice and the way this impacts his relationship with Cody.

The Temple vs Order 66 by LauraBWrites (anti, 4k):

The Temple has become semi-sentient over the years and starts preparing to protect the Jedi in the eventuality that Anakin Skywalker fails.

The Temple itself being a character is really fun, and I quite loved the way it was almost arguing with the Force about Anakin and how to handle the growing darkness in him and the galaxy. I also really appreciated that, while Padme ultimately leaves Anakin behind, her selfish choices during the war aren't swept under the rug, either. I liked that it insists that Anakin is taken care of and not just left to rot, but that whether he gets better or not remains up to him. It doesn't matter how much therapy he's given by the Jedi, he has to choose to accept the help or it won't work.

For want of a horse, the rider was lost by LacieFuyu (critical, 19k):

Anakin doesn't get left in the dark about the Rako Hardeen mission and it goes disastrously as a result. Everyone has to live with the consequences of that choice.

This one takes place within the Rako Hardeen arc, but it does deal with the revelation of the Tusken Massacre and the Anidala marriage as well. There are a lot of truths being thrown at Anakin in this particular fic by the people around him who start to discover more of what he's done and who he truly is, most of whom choose not to sugarcoat anything for him. Several of the characters choose not to forgive Anakin for what he's done, even as some of them continue to work to help him figure out how to heal and get better. There is hope left for him at the end, but the consequences for him in this feel very real and substantial, it goes far beyond Anakin just having to live with what he's done. He loses a lot of the people he cared about, he loses certain privileges and ranks, and they leave open the possibility that he might have to face a pretty serious consequence for the Tusken Massacre from the Tuskens themselves. So while it's sympathetic, it takes Anakin's choices seriously, which I appreciate. I also liked seeing some of the ways other characters were dealing with their own pain and betrayal, the ways they were taking comfort from Jedi teachings and loved ones to heal in a more healthy way.

Spoiler Alert, He Doesn't Make It

here on the edge of silence, half afraid by Siderea (anti, 4k):

Pirate/Mer AU where Fox and the Guard work on Palpatine and Anakin's ship and Fox manages to kill Palpatine, causing Anakin to throw him overboard only for Mer!Obi-Wan to save him.

I like the development of Fox and Obi-Wan's relationship in this one, from some very understandable mistrust to attraction and the beginnings of a friendship. The glimpses we get into a wider world and a rebellion of sorts and how Obi-Wan being a merman fits into the Jedi still existing and fighting alongside the clones under Palpatine are SO tantalizing. Fox's opinion of Anakin is immensely low and Obi-Wan himself is far enough along from whatever betrayal Anakin committed in this AU that he is able to criticize Anakin's behavior and obsessions with people. Anakin never actually appears in this fic, he remains a far-away obstacle to be removed, and I love that for him.

The Galaxy Deserved Better:

Ahsoka is Mace's Padawan series by SkyeBean (ongoing, anti, 442k):

The title of the series speaks for itself for the most part, but this is an AU where Mace chooses Ahsoka to be his Padawan around a year prior to AOTC and it follows the various consequences of that change both to Ahsoka herself and to the galaxy at large. The first fic goes all the way through the end of the Clone Wars, but other fics in the series continue beyond that to at least the end of ROTJ and explore the impact of the Empire on the Jedi as they struggle to survive.

I made an entire separate post strictly about this series because it basically changed my brain chemistry for the week it took me to get through everything, and I know several other people have recc'd it in various lists, but I'm putting it here again for anyone who hasn't yet seen it because it's just that good and that worth it. This fic understands how to make Ahsoka develop and mature without making her some angel or goddess of light without flaws. It is BREATHTAKINGLY pro Jedi and especially pro Mace Windu. There's some really great exploration of Ahsoka's relationship to the clones both before and after Order 66 as well a lot of delightful diversity in her relationships to other Jedi. This fic does not pull punches with regards to Anakin, Padme, and Anidala, or the consequences of their choices. If you were disappointed in how the Ahsoka show treated her reaction to Anakin and his atrocities, this fic is the OPPOSITE of that.

After the War (Part the First) by KChan88 (critical, 7k):

Instead of Obi-Wan, Mace and Yoda choose Quinlan to be the one who goes undercover during the Rako Hardeen arc. Obi-Wan, who has been in an off and on relationship with Quinlan since they were teenagers, reacts to the loss.

This is actually incredibly positive towards Anakin, but I'm leaving it in here as "critical" because pretty much any fic that has someone else reacting to the Rako Hardeen act is sort-of critical of Anakin's canon behavior by design, and the underlying issues that ultimately lead him to darkness. Obi-Wan reacts like a Jedi should, letting go when he believes Quinlan to be dead, and understanding when he has to face Quinlan after he knows it was a lie even as he is still angry at the circumstances putting Quinlan in that position in the first place (not the JEDI, just the war and the way it's forcing the Jedi to run themselves ragged and put themselves through the wringer). That anger gets acknowledged and accepted and Obi-Wan and Quinlan are shown to have an incredibly healthy relationship with each other that's incredibly sweet.

After the War (Part the Second) by KChan88 (critical, 6k):

Quinlan manages to catch up to Obi-Wan during his confrontation with Anakin during the Obi-Wan Kenobi show and the two have a reunion after things settle down on Tatooine.

Part of the same series as the above, this one lands more sympathetic towards Anakin than positive, since it's set post Order 66 and, for obvious reasons, it's pretty hard to be positive about what Anakin's done and what he's chosen to be at this point. But it's not unsympathetic, both Obi-Wan and Quinlan remember good times with Anakin, Obi-Wan has a line about having felt some kind of light in him during that last conversation they have in the show, and Quinlan makes comparisons to Anakin sounding like a scared and lonely little boy. So the critical aspect of it is relatively soft and minimal aside from the obvious references to his betrayal. Much like the fic above, I really love the way Obi-Wan and Quinlan's relationship is represented and the dynamic they have with each other.

Meet in the Middle by BilbosMom (critical, 9k):

Baby Luke and Leia are working on some Force shenanigans to try to find a way to speak to each other through a middle ground within the Force, but have trouble getting to each other on their own and end up recruiting Rex and Obi-Wan to help them.

This one is also pretty positive about Anakin in that it talks a lot about how Luke and Leia are going to save him by reminding him of how to love and things like that. I'm leaving it in here because it is also set post Order 66 and does reckon with the impact of that, especially on Rex who is finding out this betrayal for the first time, so it's hard not to end up at least a little critical just naturally. Anakin has done some particularly heinous shit and is still DOING some heinous shit. That remains true whether he can be saved in the future or not, whether he used to know how to love selflessly or not. I particularly like the structure in this one, the way it bounces back and forth between Obi-Wan's perspective with Leia and Rex's perspective with Luke. I like the way that Luke and Leia land sort-of wiser than their years due to their stronger connection to the Force but also still very much children who get impatient and annoyed with the adults around them.

scraps series by grumpyhedgehogs (critical, 9.5k):

Cody's chip fails when Obi-Wan dies on the Death Star and he goes searching for Rex and the Rebellion. He deals with his grief and guilt along the way.

Cody isn't Anakin's biggest fan, obviously, but both he and Rex acknowledge that Anakin USED to be a better person. The focus of the story is on Cody's relationship with Obi-Wan and how, even after he's died, that relationship still helps Cody move forward from his grief and find some measure of peace. I like the way Cody, Rex, and Ahsoka all connect over the different ways Obi-Wan had meant something to them and the ways he impacted their lives.

may you inherit his light by notbecauseofvictories (critical, 2.5k):

Leia reflects on her relationship to Bail Organa and the impact of his loss in the years after ROTJ.

Leia is also not Anakin Skywalker's biggest fan and dislikes that she inherited anything from him. I appreciated that Leia never forgave him in this. Even in the moment where she claims to wish he showed up, it's so she can rage at him for being the reason she ISN'T Bail Organa's daughter instead. It's a heart-wrenching story and dive into Leia's character, the ways her life at constant war have defined her as well as her experience as an adopted child who wanted nothing more than to have something physical to connect her to the family she loved and to make them proud. Mon Mothma saying Leia reminded her of Bail about made me cry.

Thank the Gods, I'm Not Alone by BitterChocolateStars (critical, 16k):

Obi-Wan and Rex from ten years post Order 66 both get sent back in time to the Clone Wars and work together to make sure it doesn't happen a second time.

Since Obi-Wan and Rex are primarily dealing with an Anakin who HASN'T betrayed the Jedi and the clones yet (depending on whether you count his marriage to Padme and his murder of the Tuskens a betrayal of the Jedi or not), they both have to figure out how to forgive this version of him that hasn't committed the crime they're angry about yet. He's the same person who DID go down that path before, but circumstances change enough to make different choices this time around. I appreciated the acknowledgment that it's okay to choose not to forgive the version of Anakin that DID make those choices, even as they recognize that it's not fair to hold this version of Anakin accountable for things he didn't do.

Gentle Welcome by Miandraden1 (critical, 1k):

Short and soft post-Rako Hardeen one shot where Obi-Wan reflects on Anakin's reaction to his stint undercover but gains comfort from the people who understand.

I love Obi-Wan discussing his worries about Anakin with Mace, it's such a nice call back to AOTC where he was more explicitly pushing back against the Council's decisions and had less faith in Anakin, whereas here he's so clearly trying to continue to have faith in Anakin's ability to grow and learn, even as he can tell Anakin's struggling. There's no lack of acknowledgment of Anakin's continued struggles, but there is a choice to continue to believe in him. I love how sweet the clones are in how they react to the Rako Hardeen deception, in some ways this is just another Tuesday for them, but Waxer explicitly leaving Obi-Wan a little gift he knows he'll like says something slightly different and it's adorable.

The Temple of Hope series by Zarz (ongoing, critical, 93k):

Obi-Wan, Anakin, and their battalions stumble across a very old Jedi Temple that reveals certain truths about both the Jedi and the clones and changes everything.

This one is also mostly about just forcing Anakin to face his own truths and fears while everybody else gets to make their way to a happy fix-it AU as a result. One of the tags on the first fic is "anakin skywalker faces consequences" but the primary consequence is just Anakin feeling bad about what he's done more than anything else. It's overall a sweet, soft, Force-sensitive Clones!AU with a lot of pro Jedi vibes to it.

"... if you remain his student" by Peppermint_Shamrock (critical, 4k):

The Wrong Jedi arc doesn't happen which leaves Ahsoka at the Temple during Order 66 and she was never going to be enough to save or stop Anakin.

To be perfectly honest at this point, this is the ending I'd have wanted for Ahsoka. It wouldn't have been able to happen in canon given she's not in ROTS, but like... this is probably one of the most impactful ways for her story to have ended (and one of the kindest, given how shitty her character has become). I love the way this fic insists that Ahsoka isn't enough, any more than Padme or Obi-Wan were, he'd have cut her down the same he did the others, no matter what he might have felt for her once or what she believed he felt for her.

Reversi by LacieFuyu (critical, 2.5k):

Anakin and Obi-Wan's roles are reversed in the Rako Hardeen arc and Anakin is startled by everyone's reactions to his deception.

This is yet another one that is critical by comparison to canon. Even Anakin himself acknowledges by the end of the fic that he's pretty sure he wouldn't be reacting this compassionately and calmly and reasonably if their positions were reversed, something we know to be true. There's also a small moment where Anakin begins to doubt his choices regarding the Tusken Massacre, but instead of actually reflecting on it, he buries the feeling all over again and chooses to learn nothing. It's very in character for Anakin.

#star wars #anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical #jedi #pro jedi #jedi culture respected #jedi appreciation #jedi culture appreciated #pro jedi council #jedi council respected #jedi council appreciated #fic #fic rec #anti anakin fic rec series

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fanfic-obsessed · 10 months

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Hurry up and Wait

I love the trope that Obi Wan gets visions of the future (the CW, Order 66, and later) and through these visions he (accidentally or otherwise) saves the galaxy. Let's take a walk through a twist in that.

Obi Wan gets those visions of the future, but never consciously remembers them. Only a lingering sense that he needed to be a Jedi knight (so that he could be in a position to find the clones). Subconsciously, however, he falls in love (platonically) with the clones in general and falls in love (romantically) with Cody in particular, even though he has no memory of it.

As a consequence any Force user with even a hint of a connection to the unifying Force can tell upon meeting Obi Wan that the Force has a Plan with a capital P for him.

This changes nothing about his Padawanship (From which I cherry pick parts of anything I can get my hands on, assume that anything that is known that does not directly contradict what is in here is in play). Qui Gon Jinn’s connection is exclusively to the Living Force, as is Yoda’s.

You know where it starts changing things? When Obi Wan takes Anakin as a Padawan. Anakin, as a child of the Force, got an even clearer sense of the Force Plan. He could sense that Obi Wan would find something(someone) and leave the Jedi before Anakin’s padawanship was finished. He could sense that this would be important, changing the tides of the galaxy kind of important.

So before Anakin could ever become attached to Obi Wan, he is dissuaded. In this Obi Wan is not Master/Teacher/Father/Brother. He is viewed as a tutor, or favored babysitter, until it is time for Anakin to go to his actual Master. And Obi Wan never begrudges teaching Anakin, never lets Anakin think that there was somewhere else Obi Wan had to be, because there wasn’t. Not yet.

Perhaps in another universe Palpatine would have been able to step into the space Obi Wan never realized he made. Except the first time Palpatine pushed to meet with Anakin, Obi Wan had an unexplainable (to anyone who did not know the future he was seeing in his dreams) panic attack strong enough that he needed to go to the healing halls. This panic attack, and the subsequent smaller ones he has whenever he thinks too long about Palpatine being alone with Anakin have two major consequences for Anakin specifically and one for the Order overall.

The first is that Anakin never grows to trust Palpatine. He meets with him, because Palpatine made some fairly heavy-handed implied threats to the Jedi if they did not provide him with the company of a small boy, but he never really lets him in. This Anakin never forgets the lessons that he must have learned as a young slave, particularly ‘never trust a smiling, kindly man in power’. Anakin, at the insistence of the High Council, Obi Wan, and his own instincts is required to see a healer and a mind healer after every session with Palpatine (for fear that was grooming Anakin-which he was, just not the way the Jedi thought).

The second consequence is that the High Council as a whole, and Mace Windu specifically, keeps a closer eye on Anakin. It is to Mace that Anakin begins to turn as a Mentor, whom Anakin is sure will be his Master when it is time for Obi Wan to leave. So, much like with Ahsoka in Canon, Mace and Obi Wan end up co parenting Anakin. And it is understood, and has been exhaustively discussed by all three (to the extent that Anakin's age allows to reasonably be part of the discussion), that Mace is Anakin’s master, though Obi Wan may be considered so on paper (Mace, as head of the Order, cannot take on a too young Padawan. When Anakin is older, certainly, and if Obi Wan leaves early, sure, but for now the day to day is handled by Obi Wan).

The order as a whole, and the High Council in particular, had no actual idea that the Chancellor (and possibly other Senators or representatives) can effectively make the Jedi Order deliver a 9 year old boy to his office and leave. They immediately set a mixed group of Archivist and Shadows to go through all of the treaties, laws, and Senate rulings that can possibly refer to or affect the Jedi. Going through all the laws and rulings and things that should not have affected the Jedi but do(because of a confluence of three, or four, or six different laws that separately don’t do shit to trap the Jedi but together create something that is Ironclad and razor sharp) takes several months. The results are so horrifying that several shadows have to be talked down from the ledge of taking over the Republic entirely.

The High Council decides that they will begin to untangle themselves from the control of the Republic, but that they must do it quietly. There is concern that if they bring attention to the potential for abuse of the Jedi Order, there are beings that would take advantage. They do not realize that they are caught in a Sith Plot (one that in Canon would see them forced to be generals of a slave army). Instead they believe the laws that entrap them to be, not quite coincidence, but that their effect on the Jedi is secondary. So that is going on behind the scenes.

We come to the mission that would get the clones discovered, the one that was supposed to spark a war. Palpatine fully believes that everything is on track with Anakin, as he has not clocked onto the fact that Anakin is humoring him and does not trust him. So Palpatine enacts his plan to get Anakin alone with Padme, hoping that something Jedi code breaking will result (Palpatine does not exactly have control over Padme-Though he certainly thinks he has more than he does-however she is exactly the kind of reckless that he needs to get Anakin into com kind of trouble) while Obi Wan is sent on a chase for the assassin, Jango, which will lead him to Kamino.

Obi Wan arrives on Kamino and knows the instant that he is shown the clones that this is what he has been waiting for. He still does not consciously remember his lifelong visions, but he knows that he has found his people. He very calmly sends out a message to Anakin and Mace to the effect of ‘I have found my people. May the Force be with you. Peace Out’ then goes back and uses every ounce of his cunning and negotiating skill to take command of the clones, the ships, and all the supplies for what should have been the Republic's Army and fuck off to a planet in Wildspace (That Obi Wan owns. Until that very moment he did not know why the Force had encouraged him to acquire the planet).

Jango, who is very intrigued by the pretty red headed Jedi who had just politely browbeaten a bunch of Kaminoans (It is a very much one sided attraction, since Obi Wan is very much in love with Cody-even if he doesn’t know it yet), and Boba go with them.

No just picture this. Dooku is waiting on Geonosis for Jango Fett to lure a Jedi, specifically to lure his grand padawan to the planet so that war can get started. And Waiting. And Waiting. Meanwhile the Geonosian Queen is hovering in the background, starting to make noises that are the equivalent of ‘well, don’t let me keep you’ (and other such saying that were polite-as this was still a potential ally- for ‘Get fucken out of our house already’).

Another Meanwhile, due to a combination of the lack of needing to go to Geonosis to rescue Obi Wan, the lack of a need to go to Tatooine (By sheer happenstance Shimi was not captured by the Tuskens, thus no visions for Anakin), and the goodby message Obi Wan left (which indicated that the current assassin would not be bothering Padme for at least a few weeks), Anakin and Padme get back to the Senate in time for the Separatist Vote. While not unanimous, it is an overwhelming majority that voted to allow the Separatists to leave (Mainly because most of them wanted to be able to leave themselves if need be).

Everyone, Separatist and Republic alike, stares at each other awkwardly in the aftermath of the Vote. For some reason everyone feels as though there should have been a different outcome and no one(outside of Palpatine and his minions) can tell why. Eventually the Separatists turn and walk slowly from the room. Those who wanted the war were seething internally, but not able to show it externally.

Palpatine has to work hard to keep his screams of frustrations internal later, when he calls Kamino and finds that his shiny new army is not where he left it. Then there is the repeal of a seemingly insignificant law and it takes him nearly three weeks to place why (that one law neatly disassembles most of the legal trap that the Jedi were in, because it was the connecting law between that laws with the really harsh punishments and that laws that specifically mention the Jedi).

Back with Obi Wan and the Clones…Things are a bit strange. In the first place Obi Wan still does not consciously remember any of his visions, but subconsciously knows all of the clones and can tell them apart. So he calls the clones by name rather than designation. For some of the clones before they even choose a name. He also knows without knowing why hobbies and interests for most of the clones.

And for all that the Clones have been primed through propaganda to love the Jedi, they don’t actually fully trust anyone who is not a clone, not yet. This has the effect that Obi Wan is, without realizing it, acting very informally with clones who do not know what to make of him. This is compounded by the fact that Obi Wan sees Cody and is instantly smitten. Cody does not know what to do with this.

Hilariously this has the effect of making Jango jealous of Cody. Jango is attracted to Obi Wan, who only has eyes for Cody. So Jango is off to one side making passive aggressive comments about Obi Wan settling for a badly put together copy when he could have the original, muttered low enough that Obi Wan cannot hear. When Obi Wan does over hear one of the comments, the resulting rant on Jango failures as a person (this was before they discovered the chips, but after the realization that Jango had effectively sold his children into slavery) and how Cody is clearly superiors in every way, does help to endear the clones to him.

His visceral horror when they find out about the chips helps too.

I am not sure where it would go from here, though I imagine it does end with the Jedi, in clumps of two or three, just sort of arriving on the planet.

#star wars #star wars the clone wars #fanfiction prompt #star wars au #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #codywan #sheev palpatine #bamf obi wan #no order 66 #One Sided Jangobi #star wars visions #sw visions #Obi Wan gets Visions #mace windu

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tcwmatchmakingau · 11 months

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Date Night Pt 1

Pairing: Rex x f!Reader

Rating: SFW

Warnings: Just fluff, snogging is as far as it goes.

W/C: 3,300 (And my ficlet phase has passed).

Summary: Captain Rex of the 501st Legion led men into numerous battles. He had fought by the side of one of the galaxy’s greatest Jedi and received commendation from the Republic’s top leadership. And nothing terrified him more than the newest challenge Anakin Skywalker laid at his feet ... a date.

A/N: This was inspired by D's lovely ask as I was trapped in the airport about a double date with Rex and Cody. Here's the Rex chapter, featuring Cody, who will be up next.

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“Rex, you know I’d do anything for you. But this?”

Rex knew this would likely be the outcome, but he wasn’t admitting defeat just yet.

“Please Cody? I just … I have to go, but I just can’t get myself to go alone.”

His closest brother and commanding officer sat across from him in the mess hall of the Coruscant barracks, the 501st and 212th being on shore leave. All units not engaged in relief missions or suppressing the remaining Seppie forces were actually on leave, meaning Rex felt himself almost whispering, not wanting the wrong ears to overhear their conversation in the crowded room.

He’d never live it down if Torrent Company especially got wind that he was considering a trip to the matchmaker set up specifically for clones.

“You don’t have to go, though. It’s not mandatory. I know the transition to peace time is going to be tough, but they’re not forcing us into civvie life just yet.”

“It’s not that. General Skywalker is … insisting.”

“He can’t command you to go on a date. Just tell him no.”

“I can’t, Cody! You know the face he makes when you tell him no.”

“Then look the other way.”

Rex doesn’t have a rebuttal. Strictly speaking, Cody is right. But …

“Unless you actually want to go?” his brother nudges.

“I …” Rex paused, holding still as a statue for a moment until he released his breath in a huff. “Ever since his relationship with the Senator came out, Skywalker has changed. He’s lighter, happier. And I can’t help but wonder what that feels like. It was never in the cards for us before. I know some had it, like Cut, but I could never abandon my duty. Now that I don’t have to … I don’t know. What if Anakin is right?”

Cody smiles at him warmly before answering simply, “Then you should go.”

Rex levels his friend with a blank stare. They both knew that Rex would never take this leap without a wingman.

“FINE I WILL GO WITH YOU.”

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The office was nicer than he had imagined. Not that he thought it would be a dump, but it would seem his anxiety colored his expectations.

Cody sat by his side, the pair having already filled out the required paperwork digitally. He thanked his brother again for coming with him and though the only response was a dry side eye, Rex knew Cody understood what this meant to him.

The door behind them opened, and both men jumped to attention.

“At ease, gentlemen. You’re off duty, remember?”

A woman walked past to take a seat opposite the desk from them as they settled back into their own seats. Her casual attire betrayed the slightly impressive decor of the top-level office, but the warmth she exuded made it clear she belonged here.

“I’m Yen, and I’ll be the matchmaker assigned to you both,” she said, reaching across to shake both their hands. “Now, I’ve reviewed your applications and I have a few potential matches in mind, but first I want to hear from you, your expectations — both of this first date and overall.”

Rex turned to look to Cody, defaulting to letting his CO answer first, only to see his brother returning the expectant look. So, he started, laying it all on the table and earning a few laughs from the other trooper.

Cody followed suit, his own answer much shorter, though it’s a testament to the professional that she was able to even get as much out of the Marshal Commander as possible.

“Okay, well, I believe I now have everything I need. I’ll send over one profile each to avoid overwhelming you both, and if you’re amenable, I’ll set up the time and place and comm that over,” Yen confirmed.

Rex appreciated her approach, calm yet confident. He was still hesitant about stepping this far out of his comfort zone, but if she was leading the way, he could at least follow.

“Now, I do have to warn you that while I understand the appeal of a double date, I’ve found it can often lead to … unnecessary problems. I can see if the partners I have in mind would be open to going to the same venue, but I strongly recommend focusing on your date and not spending time as a group.”

“Problems?” This time, it was Cody who spoke up.

“Yes, assigned dates wanting to switch has been known to happen, which just creates bad feelings all around. Or people tend to focus more on their friend since that’s familiar and end up alienating their dates. I’ve found that outcome more common with troopers.”

The two clones share a look, and when Rex turns back to Yen, a knowing smile graces her face.

“Well, this is your area of expertise. We’ll play this your way.”

---------------------------------------X--------------------------------------------

A week later, Rex watched Cody walk to the floor with his date, trying to push down his annoyance over the fact that you still hadn’t appeared.

If he was being completely fair, you weren’t late. But he was already second guessing himself and each moment he stood there, on the edge of the room unsure of what to do with his hands, was another moment adding to his anxiety.

Rex was just about at his limit when the door slammed open. The woman in the threshold peered into the crowd, scouting as if she expected danger rather than dancing to greet her.

And suddenly, his nerves got better and worse.

It was you. He recognized you from the profile image Yen had sent him. You hadn’t stood him up and left him looking a fool. But he had a feeling he’d act like one because stars above he had never seen any creature quite as lovely. What the kark was he supposed to say to someone so pretty?

While Skywalker seemed to revel in going into situations blind, Rex usually did everything to avoid it. But he didn’t plan for this. Your holo was taken by a buffoon since clearly it did not do you justice.

Absently, Rex realized he should probably introduce himself. But he decided taking advantage of this opportunity to gather intel was the smarter option.

You weren’t timid so much as cautious in your movements as you slowly made your way through the room, clearly looking for someone but oddly insistent on not making eye contact, quickly looking away once people noticed your staring.

Finally, you turned and caught his eye across the room, looking away just as quickly. In only took a moment before you snuck another glance, but this time, you kept eye contact and tilted your head in question. Nothing could stop him from smiling softly at the gesture as he gave a quick, efficient nod. You sported a matching one as you made your way through the crowd to him.

“Are you Rex?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

You giggled, and it was so sweet he almost missed what you said. “Do I look that old?”

Shock flooded Rex like ice water. “Huh? N-No, you don’t. I mean, not that that’s bad. But you definitely don’t. You look lovely. Not that old isn’t lovely, but I, uh,” he floundered, trying to understand what just happened.

Your eyes grew wide as plates as you raised your hands, waiving them in front of you frantically. “Ah, no, don’t worry about it! I was just teasing since you said ‘ma’am’ and I’ve never been called that before and in fact the only people who’ve been called ma’am, at least that I’ve heard, have been older, so that was the first thing that came to mind and …”

Rex had never heard anyone speak that fast. He was impressed you had enough breath for it, but your rambling made your abrupt stop into pure silence jarring.

“Sorry, I was trying to be clever but I’m a bit too nervous for that, it seems.” You looked up at him but stopped just shy of actually catching his gaze. He wasn’t sure if that or the way you bit the corner of your lip as you offered a sheepish smile was more endearing.

“Please don’t apologize. I’m a bit out of my depth here, too.”

Rex had never and likely would never understand the Force as the Jedi talk about it. But as you shared a small, understanding smile with him, he swore he could feel something shift. It was significant, even if he couldn’t understand why.

“Well then, since neither of us seem to be doing too well with conversation, want to try dancing?”

“I doubt that’ll go better on my end, but let’s give it a try,” he says lightly, holding out a hand to allow you to pass.

You led the way to the dance floor, and his heart stuttered when you turned, looking up at him expectantly with bright eyes. He was only half listening to the instructor, just enough to get the gist of what to do. The rest of his attention was firmly occupied with getting lost in how you looked at him.

You looked at him like he was someone worth staring at.

Karabast, I’m in trouble.

“Ready?” You ask, sweet but pushy, nudging him out of his stupor.

“Uh, yeah,” Rex nods, stepping closer and taking hold of your hands. They were cold in his, so he held them just a bit tighter.

Fortunately, the class was geared for beginners, so the instructor started with basic footwork which solved one problem of his – he could focus on his feet instead of trying not to stare at you like a creep.

At least, for a bit. Damn his enhanced training; the steps were barely a challenge, leaving him looking down unnecessarily, unwilling to look up just yet but also aware that the longer he looked down the more awkward it was.

Why was dancing at 79s hard but this was too easy? Maybe it was his brothers’ fault. Yeah, that had to be it. They complicated everything else, why would dancing be different?

“I’m glad they’re really breaking down the basics. I usually have two left feet,” you offered, and it felt like relief in the midst of battle washing over him.

“Same. I’m not usually much of a dancer,” Rex replied, beyond grateful that he wouldn’t have to rely on one of the awful pickup lines Jesse had insisted on teaching him when word inevitably got around what he would be up to tonight.

“Oh? Then what made you choose dance lessons for tonight?”

“I, uh …” He hesitated. The truth was it was an option that Cody was open to and both Boil and Fives insisted it was the best idea. “Honestly, my brothers talked me into it. Said it would strike the right mood.”

“The right mood?”

“N-not like that! Well, actually, I’m sure Fives meant exactly that. But that’s not what I mean. I mean —”

“It’s OK, Rex.” He should be more upset that you’re laughing at him, but there’s no malice in your eyes as they smile along with your lips. “I know what you mean. It’s fun, but easy enough that we can talk.”

“Not sure I’m doing so well with that second part,” he grumbled.

“I’ve got no complaints,” you reassure with a soft squeeze to his hands. “Besides, I’m very much enjoying being on this side.”

“This side?”

“Oh yeah. I’m usually the one tripping over my tongue meeting new people. It’s not just my feet — I’m clumsy all over,” you proclaim almost proudly, earning a chuckle from him.

“You don’t seem clumsy to me.”

“You’re sweet, but I’m literally holding onto you right now. Hard to be clumsy with support, though I do like to consider myself an overachiever.”

Rex let out what was probably his first genuine laugh since starting this whole endeavor. “Well, I’m happy to act as support as long as needed.”

Your lips twitch to the side, and if not for the mischievous spark in your eyes — a sight Rex had learned from his men usually meant nothing but trouble — he’d assume you were upset. Confused, he waited for you to continue.

“Happy to act as support? Are you sure?”

Everything about your tone is screaming that he’s out of his depths. You’re plotting something, that much is clear, and he’s not sure what. And he certainly can’t reprimand you the way he does wayward troopers.

Still, nothing to do but jump in at this point.

“Yes …?”

Your smile broke free from the tight, wry curve of your lips to engulf your entire face.

“In that case …” You stepped closer to him, pulling your joined hands behind your back, forcing yourself into his arms. Chills slid up his arms along with your touch as your hands finally settled on his shoulders, leaving his splayed out against the expanse of your back. “Better that we dance like this. More secure, you know.”

The boys would often tease Rex for how easily he would flush. It was something he cursed his whole life, always envious of Cody for his incredible composure. Now, however, despite feeling the heat in his own cheeks, the sight of your eyes refusing to settle on one place, least of all him, and the awkward shift in your stance, he understood the teasing.

You were adorable when flustered.

But more than he enjoyed seeing you worked up, he desperately wanted you to be comfortable with him. And he wanted to show his appreciation that you took the first leap of faith. So he stepped just a little further into your space, slightly tightening his hold on you so you could feel him support you.

“Sure. Just tell me if you want me to let go.”

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen.”

It wouldn’t be right to say conversation flowed. There were still awkward bumps and turns. But you were gracious about them, and honestly guilty of a few yourself, which helped Rex lower his guard even more.

It didn’t hurt that you seemed to pick up the footwork just as easily as he did, letting him lead you around the floor easier than he anticipated so he could fully indulge in how you pressed ever so lightly against him as you lead the conversation.

It was mostly small talk, getting to know you staples. But you never made him feel awkward or like you didn’t care for his answer.

In fact, he had never felt so tall before being the center of your attention.

Sooner than he realized, the class ended, and the dancers began dispersing. A quick scan of the room made clear that Cody and his date already cleared out. When, he wasn’t sure. But it left Rex standing in the middle of the floor with you in his arms, looking at him expectantly … and he had no clue what to do.

All he knew was he wasn’t quite ready to let you go.

“Do you walk home?” he asked, immediately realizing what he had said and groaning. “No, not that. I mean, do you mind if I walk you home?”

You laughed at him, but again, it was a soft thing without a trace of mockery. “I’d love that, thank you.”

If asked right then, Rex would say that laugh was his favorite sound. But he didn’t let that thought linger too long.

You looped your arm through his and laid your opposite hand on top, taking him aback with how comfortable you seemed around him even without the pretense of dancing. Though you stopped right at the line of too forward, a courtesy he was grateful for.

And it appeared a more strategic choice than he first gave you credit for. With your arms woven through his, you were able to lead the way and keep pace with him easier. You walked to the inter-level lift and rode it down a few levels to more modest apartments before meandering through the streets for a few blocks, chatting softly the whole time.

“This is me.” You waved your hand absently to the building behind you as you turned to face him. You were looking at him like that again, like he was the only thing in this galaxy worth looking at. If he wasn’t careful, Rex could easily grow addicted to that look. “I had a really nice night. Thank you, Rex.”

“No thanks needed, mesh’la,” Rex said softly, hearing the endearment slip in before he really registered it. It fit, though, and he was willing to bet you didn’t speak Mando’a. “I had a good time, too.”

He felt like time itself was suspended. Like the two of you existed within a ray shield and nothing outside mattered. He felt himself pulled closer to you until he was standing with barely an inch between you. Glancing past your eyes for just a moment, he felt his breath catch at the sight of your chest just missing brushing his as you take heavy breaths.

Usually, clarity felt cold when it washed over him. This, however, was warm, fueling his courage just as much as the realization that you could feel the gravitational pull between you as well.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered, bolder than he felt as he leaned down but still not trusting his voice as he invaded your space and reveled in the proximity, eyes constantly searching for any sign of hesitation.

There never was one. You tilted your head back, bringing your plush lips almost up to his.

“Please.”

It was the sweet, needy, breathlessness of your plea that made Rex vow then and there to do anything to hear you beg for his kisses again.

It was the soft give of your lips, the insistent yet gentle pressure you applied and the succulent yet swift swipe of your tongue against his that made him vow to give them to you as often as you asked.

Gods above, there was nothing so wonderful in that moment as your kiss. It wasn’t hot and heavy, as his past experiences had been; those one-night stands nothing more than moments of stolen pleasure speaking only to present need.

This was the opposite, chaste in all but promise, speaking without words of your passionate intentions.

You pulled away, and he should have let you go. Rex had always prided himself on being respectful, doing the right thing. And yet, the only thing that felt right was to chase your lips with his, looping his arm around your waist to pull you in closer.

Reason eventually won out, as it always did for him. Keeping his hold on you, Rex pulled back and rested his forehead against yours. “Sorry.” His breathing was heavier than expected, and he questioned if his conditioning was really lacking, or if your kisses would always steal his breath. “Got a little carried away.”

You shook your head against his, and only then did he realize you had tangled your hands in his jacket, fisting in the fabric tightly. He couldn’t pull away without applying some force, and that knowledge buzzed pleasantly through him.

“No you didn’t. Not that I didn’t want, anyway.”

A worry line appeared on your forehead as you turned to glance at your front door over your shoulder. Your lips pursed, and while he wouldn’t claim to know you well, he could hazard a guess to your conundrum.

Gently, Rex lifted a hand to turn your face back to him before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. He wasn’t sure, but he could swear he heard you sigh.

“Goodnight, mesh’la,” he offered, and to his relief, he saw you relax. You stepped back, out of his arms, and he was surprised by how much he didn’t like that. “I’ll comm you tomorrow?”

Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough if that’s how you would smile for him every time. “Yeah, I’d like that. Goodnight, Rex.”

Captain Rex of the 501st Legion led men into numerous battles. He had fought by the side of one of the galaxy’s greatest Jedi and received commendation from the Republic’s top leadership.

But no victory had ever felt as good as walking away from your apartment that night, one successful date under his belt and hopefully many more with you on the horizon.

#tcw matchmaking au #clone matchmaking au #501st Legion #212th Attack Battalion

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sweetrevxnge · 8 months

Text

Like Phantoms, Forever

Chapter Twenty | Across the Stars

Pairing: Ben Solo x Reader

Summary: Your destiny had never been clear to you, only becoming so when it led you to leaving behind the life you knew to train with the galaxy's sole Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker. His Jedi Academy became your new home, bringing with it the promise of someday becoming a Jedi Knight. While navigating the ways of the Force, an inexplicable connection forms between you and a fellow student—the heir to the legendary Skywalker bloodline, Ben Solo. Together, the two of you must face your destinies and forge the path to your true selves.

What to expect: fluff, violence, sexual content, general angst, mentions/descriptions of injury and death

Additional info: this story is set in 28 ABY, six years prior to the events of TFA

*concurrently being published on AO3 and Wattpad as well!

Masterlist

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Word count: 6.4k

Chapter-specific CW: NSFW, descriptions of drowning

A/N: yes, I took 6 months to update this. no, I don't have any good excuses. but if you're still here reading along, know that I appreciate you so, so much and am trying my best to write more often :') ALSO... since starting this story, Lucasfilm has officially stated that Luke's academy is located on Ossus, so I'm going to edit the story to match that!

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“Geegee, set course for Ilum.”

Ben’s voice echoed through the steel ship as you watched the Academy fade into the distance, lost in the green expanse of Ossus. You stood at the back of the ship’s hull, choosing to watch your departure from a narrow viewport rather than the cockpit.

“Right away, Master Solo,” said the droid, joints squeaking as it tottered to the cockpit.

As the roar of the ship’s engines lowered to a hum, unease crept in. While the thought of venturing into the galaxy to find a kyber crystal once filled you with excitement, it now made your stomach churn. It’s going to be okay, you told yourself, trying to make it true.

Leaving the safety of the New Republic’s surveillance was hard enough on its own, let alone voyaging to a foreign ice planet in the Unknown Regions. It wasn’t all bad, though. Knowing that Geegee automatically transmitted a signal back to the Academy provided you some comfort.

Behind you, you could hear the clicks and whirs of the control panel as Ben prepared the hyperdrive. You turned around, finding him hunched over the panel, muttering something about the motivator. Despite his frustration, he carried an air of confidence as he worked. Shoulders relaxed, hair pushed back from his eyes. It was a stark contrast to the first time you had flown with him in the Grimtaash.

The memory flashed in your mind when your eyes landed on the co-pilot’s seat—the same seat that cradled your bruised, bleeding body the night you escaped Zeffo. Just the thought of it was enough to make you doubt this entire journey.

Ben sat down in his chair, letting out an accomplished sigh as he rested his hands on his knees. With the coordinates entered and the drone of the engines steadily growing louder, you knew what was coming next.

“Everything alright over there?”

Ben’s voice snapped you from your trance. You let out a sharp breath, unaware that you had been holding it for the duration of your reverie.

“Princess?” he said louder this time, craning his neck to meet your gaze.

Whether it was your unconvincing nod or your failure to meet his gaze after his question that gave your apprehension away, you weren’t sure. Regardless, in a matter of seconds, he had jumped out of his chair and come to stand in front of you, hands clasped over yours in a firm—yet comforting—grip.

“Talk to me, princess.”

It came in pieces. The pounding in your temples, followed by the pungent taste of blood coating your tongue. But the memories weren’t strictly physical. Defeat and desperation replaced your climbing anxiety, polluting your senses with the stench of utter fear. All from just looking at a piece of furniture.

Just before you could unravel, Ben’s grip on you tightened, pulling you from your thoughts. It wasn’t until your name spilled over his lips, drenched with concern, that you pulled your gaze away from the co-pilot’s seat.

“I’m sorry, I can’t–”

“Stop it.”

You stiffened. “Stop what?”

“Saying sorry all the time,” he said with a tsk. “I’m going to start charging you five credits every time you do it.”

“Well, the joke’s on you then. I don’t have any credits,” you said dryly.

Ben cocked an eyebrow at you and, without him saying a single word, you gave in. Exhaling a long breath, your nerves settled.

“It’s just hard being in here again, even under the best circumstances.” Without realizing it, you found yourself squeezing his hands in return, holding onto him like a lifeline. “Not to mention what would happen if I were unable to find a kyber crystal. Master Skywalker would send me into exile and I would be forced to live a life veiled in shame and failure–”

“Okay, I get it,” he said, fighting back a laugh. “But that’s not going to happen. It’s going to be okay, I promise,” he said, releasing your hands as he sat down again. “Now, we need to make the jump to hyperspace, which is unfortunately something you need to be sitting for. It’ll just be a moment, okay?”

You nodded in understanding, moving to sit in the co-pilot’s chair. But before you could lower yourself into the seat, Ben’s hands locked onto your waist, spinning you around and pulling you to sit on his lap.

A gasp escaped your mouth, earning a deep, amused laugh from the pilot. You whipped your head around, shooting him a disapproving look.

“What? I didn’t specify where you had to sit,” he said, squeezing your hips lightly. His gentle touch eased your nerves, calming you in a matter of seconds.

“You’re an infuriating man, you know that?” you said with mock ridicule.

“So I’m told.” Dimples framed his smile, melting away any remaining concern. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost believe that his charm was more effective than any sedative a medical droid could offer. Almost.

Ben leaned forward, toggling a few more switches on the control panel. The feeling of his lips grazing the shell of your ear pulled you from your thoughts.

“Will you do me the honor?” he asked, weaving his fingers with yours as he guided your hand to the slender chrome lever in the center of the dashboard. The hyperdrive.

“Are you sure I’m qualified?” you asked.

With a peck on the cheek, he replied, “Absolutely.”

Your heart slammed into your ribs, causing your hands to tremble as you grabbed the rod. It was natural to be nervous about flying—especially when you were in the pilot’s seat. But the big arms wrapped around your torso assured you that you were safe.

As you pulled back on the lever, the engines roared in crescendo, launching the ship into hyperspace. The momentum pinned you against Ben, forcing you to grab onto the armrests for support. In the blink of an eye, the stars surrounding you transformed into blinding streaks of light before morphing into the swirling blue blur of deep space. To say it was exhilarating would be an understatement.

“Look at you,” Ben cooed, planting another kiss on your shoulder. “Before you know it, you’ll be piloting this thing all by yourself.”

You scoffed. “I seriously doubt that. I can barely operate a landspeeder without endangering myself and others.”

“Well, there’s only one way to get better, and I assure you, I’m a much better teacher than my uncle is.” Ben lowered his seat to a more comfortable position, pulling you back with him until you were resting against his chest.

“Is that so?” You couldn’t control your wandering hands as they crawled up the pleats of his robes, peeling back the fabric along his chest and neck.

He clasped your hands in his, holding them in place. “I mean it. After everything that happened, I want you to be comfortable piloting if you need to.”

There it was again, that horrible cloud that hung over your head at the mere mention of Zeffo. As if sensing this, Ben sighed and brought your fingers to his lips.

His warm breath spreading over your skin and his big, brown eyes peering up at you softened your resolve, leaving you no choice but to agree. “Fine. I’ll think about it.”

“I think you’ll find that I can be quite persuasive,” he said as he kissed the tender pads of your fingers, slowly working his way from pinky to thumb. He lingered on the last digit, dragging it over his plush lips. “Want me to show you?”

You nodded, mind turning hazy as you watched his lips, keenly aware of his other hand creeping under your tunic.

“Ben, we really shouldn’t,” you said halfheartedly, trying and failing to pull your hands free.

“Why not?”

“Because…” You drew the word out, motioning with your eyes to the empty hull of the ship. “This ship isn’t exactly private.”

He followed your gaze. “I see. Here, allow me to fix that.”

Without taking his attention off you, Ben flicked a switch on the control panel, causing the sliding door of the cockpit to close, hissing as it sealed you in.

“Better?” he asked, slipping his other hand under your robes, leaving a trail of gooseflesh behind as he inched towards your bra.

You breathed a sigh of relief as you rolled your hips forward, pressing down on his growing desire. “Much.”

He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. “Now, we need to address a different issue. You’re wearing too many clothes.” His wandering hands stopped at the clasp of your bra, undoing it in one swift motion. “Let’s fix that.”

Raising your arms over your head, you let him peel away the heavy cloth, kicking off your boots as he did the same with his robes. Arousal burned through you as you undressed in the small space, cursing the confines of the cockpit. Still in his uniform pants, Ben pulled you onto his lap again, eyes raking over your newly exposed skin like it was the first time he’d seen it.

All that remained now was your underwear, the only barrier between you and the rough cloth of his pants as you straddled his hips. “Why do I always end up more naked than you?”

“Shh…” A smirk ghosted his lips as strong hands moved to grab fistfuls of your ass, squeezing with a bruising force. “We wouldn’t want anyone overhearing us, would we?”

The heat simmering low in your belly quickly transformed into a wild flame, demanding attention. Lacing your fingers through his hair, you kissed down the curve of his neck, running along the taut muscles until you reached his collarbone.

“I can’t make any promises,” you said, teeth grazing his skin.

A low moan rumbled in his chest, vibrating on your lips. “Fuck,” he said under his breath, snaking a hand up your spine and doing the same to your hair. Tugging your head back, he leaned in close to your ear and whispered, “Then I’ll have to find another way to keep you quiet.”

With that, his grip loosened, fingers moving to trace over your jaw until his thumb slid over your bottom lip. “Open,” he ordered, trailing kisses down your chest, coming dangerously close to your breasts.

You obeyed, squirming in his lap from the anticipation, seeking any relief for the ache growing between your legs. As you parted your lips, he pushed his thumb into your mouth.

“Good. Now, suck.”

Head spinning with arousal, you swirled your tongue over his digit, earning a groan of approval from him. You stifled a gasp as he took a nipple into his mouth, alternating between sucking and rolling his tongue over it. Beneath you, you could feel his cock stiffening, causing your arousal to burn hotter.

Wanting to encourage this, you sucked harder, allowing your moans to rumble around his thumb. When his cock twitched against you, you beamed with pride.

A moment later, he released your nipple with a pop, free hand fumbling with the waistband of his pants. “I need to fuck you,” he said, practically begging as he worked his pants down.

Every nerve in your body was alight, needy for attention. He pulled his thumb away, watching in awe as a string of saliva fell from your lips before running it over the head of his cock. Pupils blown with lust, he wasted no time, dragging your underwear to the side and spreading your desire around your entrance.

With a grunt, he paused, searching your eyes. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” you said breathlessly, aligning yourself with him. “Please.”

You both let out a sigh as he pushed into you, lips clashing together. Before long, you relaxed around him, sinking your hips lower, relishing how he stretched you. He moved slowly at first, giving you control as he closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the headrest. Dark locks of hair fanned over his face, clinging to the beads of sweat forming on his skin.

True to his word, he kept quiet, concealing his groans of pleasure as heavy breaths. The same couldn’t be said for you, who was letting out wanton moans with every thrust. It wasn’t for a lack of trying, though. The desire coursing through you had addled your mind, leaving you unable to control yourself.

A particularly loud gasp caught Ben’s attention, causing him to slow his movements. “Careful, princess.”

Nails digging into the armrests, you held back another moan. “Sorry—I just can’t—help it.”

“I know you can’t.” The corners of his lips twitched and before you knew it, his thumb was seeking entrance to your mouth again. “Now, be a good girl for me and stay quiet.”

Running your tongue over his thumb, you welcomed him in again, heat rushing to your core as you sucked. Ben’s breaths grew erratic as he continued to fuck into you, eyes trained on your lips. He effectively silenced you, but the few moans that managed to escape were now muffled by his thumb instead.

“That’s my girl,” he said, sliding his finger free and dropping it to your aching clit. “I think you deserve a reward.”

“Don’t tease, Ben,” you whimpered, eyes fluttering shut as he slowly applied pressure.

“Didn’t plan on it,” he said, drawing tight circles around your bud.

The sensation was enough to drive you insane, hips rolling involuntarily against his hand, demanding more. Insatiable as ever, you pleaded for him to go faster, earning his cooperation.

“Fuck—baby—you look so good riding me.” His words were broken by quick breaths, evidence of his mounting pleasure. Your thighs burned from straddling his, trembling as your own pleasure threatened to wash over you. Every second you spent teetering on the edge felt torturous, stretching for eternity.

Desperate for release, you rolled your hips harder, forcing more pressure from Ben’s hand. A string of expletives fell from your lips as your resolve shattered, allowing the ecstasy bubbling beneath the surface to flood in. You bit down on the back of your hand, lost in the waves of euphoria that rippled through your body, your cunt pulsing around his cock.

With one last thrust, Ben gripped you tight, pulling you against his chest and burying his face into your neck. He littered your skin with sloppy kisses as he regained his composure, slowly leaning back into the seat.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” you whispered, resting your forehead against his as your fingers traced over his rattling chest.

He let out a long sigh through his nose before agreeing. “Me too.”

Time passed like the stars swirling around you, and before long, the Grimtaash snapped out of hyperspace, revealing the ice planet of Ilum before you.

With a striking, silvery atmosphere, and patches of white storms riddling its surface, Ilum was truly a sight to behold. Unlike Dantooine and Ossus, there was no distinction between the terrains, only a vast, pale landscape.

“You weren’t lying about the snow,” you said, standing from your seat to get a better look.

“That’s what the coats are for,” Ben replied with a wink before calling back to the hull of the ship. “Geegee, prepare the landing sequence.”

The two of you had traded your robes for thermals and jackets in anticipation of landing, but despite the layers, a chill traveled down your spine. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought it was from the planet’s atmosphere radiating through the ship, but you knew what caused it. The prospect of adventure, traversing the unknown with the person you love by your side.

The realization felt like a blow to your chest, upsetting your balance as you reclaimed your seat. A string of beeps behind you pulled you from your thoughts. Master Skywalker’s astromech had come out of rest mode, now serving as a well-timed distraction.

Ben laughed under his breath. “No, Artoo. Your wheels will freeze to the ground if you go with us.”

The droid fired back, warbling as he rocked side to side on his wheels in defiance.

“You know I’m right! We can’t just sit around all day waiting for you to defrost.”

Another rebuttal from the droid, one that made Ben’s mouth fall open. “Just… stay on the ship, okay?”

R2-D2 concluded his argument with another string of beeps before spinning his head and body around and leaving the cockpit.

The low hum of machinery permeated the silence as you sat back in your seat, arms crossed over your chest. You would’ve given anything to know what R2-D2 had said to get under Ben’s skin the way he did.

Ahead, the Grimtaash entered the planet’s atmosphere, causing the ship to lurch as it sliced through the storm clouds. The floor beneath you no longer felt solid as the turbulence rattled the ship like a leaf in the wind, dread stirring in your stomach.

“Hold on tight—it’s going to be a rough landing,” Ben said, hunched over the control panel as he completed the landing sequence.

“Yeah, I gathered that!”

With knuckles blanched around the armrests, you squeezed your eyes shut and waited for the chaos to settle. When the ship finally touched the ground, you relaxed, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

Running a hand through his glossy black hair, Ben smiled at you. “Welcome to Ilum.”

All the furs and thermals in the galaxy couldn’t have prepared you for the cold of Ilum. It was visceral, threatening to turn every drop of blood in your body into crimson ice. White flurries engulfed you, blinding you to your surroundings. If it weren’t for his hand clutching yours, you’d hardly be able to make out where Ben stood.

“Lovely weather this time of year, isn’t it?” he joked, voice raised over the howling wind.

You opened your mouth to respond but stopped when the chill spread through your teeth, prompting you to pull one of your many layers over your nose for coverage. “I didn’t think it was possible to be this cold.”

Shielding the snow from his eyes, he leaned in closer. “Once we get inside the caves, it won’t be so bad.”

From the depths of his coat pockets, he retrieved a small cylindrical device, struggling to activate it from the confines of his leather gloves. Finally, a blue digital map appeared in the center, displaying a system of caves and tunnels northeast of where you’d landed.

“There,” he said, his breaths strained from the weather. “The closest entrance is less than a kilometer away. Follow me.”

Wordlessly, you did as you were told, careful to step in Ben’s footprints to avoid sinking through the snow. The two of you were uncharacteristically quiet as you trekked through the tundra. You daydreamed about beams of sunlight, steaming cups of caf, and hot showers—just to name a few. More than just a coping mechanism for the intense cold, it also served as a distraction from the task awaiting you.

A natural opening in the crag served as your respite from the elements, inviting you to explore the labyrinth within. Despite being encased in frost and ice, the alcove felt warm, if only from the vapor of your breaths.

“So, where do we go from here?” you asked, voice hoarse from the wind.

“That’s kind of the problem,” Ben said, peeling off his wind-beaten jacket. “The Empire gutted this place, making it unstable in some areas. For now, we’ll follow the charted tunnels.”

“Why am I not surprised to hear that?” you grumbled, doing the same with your coat. It came as no surprise to learn that the Empire plundered the Jedi’s sacred planet, destroying the ancient temple housed in its caves as they did. Twisting the knife in the Jedi Order’s back.

“It’s what they did best. But that’s why we’re here,” he said, a smile tugging at his rosy lips. “To rebuild.”

To defend, you thought. Your heart sank at the idea of your efforts being in vain. What good would a fledgling Jedi Order be against a rising empire? If the old Order crumbled at the height of its power, Master Skywalker’s Order didn’t stand a chance.

You cleared your throat, pushing your thoughts aside and refocusing on the task at hand. “Right. Well, then. Where should we start?” you asked, glancing at the glowing holomap in his palm.

“That’s not my decision to make.” His eyes twinkled from the blue light of the map as he placed it in your hand.

As much as you wanted to reject it, you didn’t. He was right, after all. This was your journey; he was just here as support.

“Fine,” you said with a sigh. “But I don’t want to hear any complaints if we get lost.”

He smiled down at you. “Sure thing, princess.”

You nodded, holding his gaze for a moment longer. It was impossible to ignore his frostbitten beauty. Tendrils of hair clung to his forehead, the result of melted frost and sweat. The cold highlighted his sharp features more than ever, coloring his cheeks and nose in a peachy hue. Under different circumstances, you’d be happy to help him warm up.

Heat rushed to your face as you refocused on the holomap. Now was not the time—and most certainly not the place.

You examined the details of the holomap, trying to make sense of the labyrinth of grainy blue pathways. The crack you’d slipped through was just one of many that led to the caverns within, like veins tracing back to a heart. From what you could tell, the path you were on eventually let out into a central chamber, which then branched out into a handful of different tunnels. It was as good a starting point as any, and with a deep breath, you set out.

Ben followed behind you as you navigated the tunnel, with only the occasional drop of water breaking the comfortable silence. Stalactites adorned the ceiling, each bearing a unique state of damage. Every inch of the slate walls shimmered with ice crystals, reflecting in all directions as the blue glow of the holomap passed by. Slivers of clouded sunlight squeezed through cracks in the cavern’s walls, illuminating your footpath.

“What was your first time here like?” you asked over your shoulder, studying the mining scars etched into the walls for any sign of kyber.

“Loud,” he said, sighing. “I mean, just imagine a dozen teenagers running around a place like this. It’s a miracle we didn’t drive Master Skywalker insane.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the image he painted. He, Tai, Hennix, and to your surprise, Voe came to mind, a decade younger than they were now, squealing as their feet slid across the patches of ice. And Master Skywalker, futilely trying to reign them in.

“Maybe that’s why he wasn’t keen on coming back,” you said with a scoff.

He chuckled. “Maybe.”

A beat passed before you asked, “How long did it take you to find your crystal?”

Another sigh. “I’ll tell you once you find yours.”

Where you had hoped his answer would provide you with some comfort, you were only left with doubt. What if you couldn’t find one today? Or tomorrow? Or at all?

“Of course you will,” you muttered, watching your position on the holomap as it gently pulsed, showing that you were approaching the end of the tunnel.

The cave ahead was larger than you’d expected. With a ceiling that blended with the hanging darkness, you would’ve thought you’d stumbled upon a rune crafted by ancient men. But the crags and formations embedded in the walls proved otherwise. Water trickled freely down the jagged mineral, echoing throughout the room and filling the space with a fresh fragrance—rather than that of stale air.

Veins of opaque, white crystal ran through the stone walls, and for a moment, you wondered if this was it. There was only one way to find out.

Carefully, you approached a thread, setting the holomap down on a patch of ice. With trembling hands, you peeled a glove off and brushed the surface. The cavern immediately siphoned the warmth from your fingers, turning them numb before you could determine if the ore was made of kyber.

Finally, you conceded. “I don’t feel anything,” you grumbled, working your hand back into the glove.

Ben came to stand behind you, chest pressed flush against your back as his hands slid down your hips. “That’s okay. It’s just quartzite ore.” His breath fanned over your ear. “You’re not the first person to mistake it for kyber, and you won’t be the last, either.”

You spun around, still locked in his embrace. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

He smiled. “We’ve been looking for all of twenty minutes. Don’t give up yet, princess.”

Despite everything—the weight of the unknown, the frost forming within your lungs, the lingering doubts you held about leaving the protection of the Academy—you found yourself savoring this moment. Deep in the heart of Ilum’s caves, wrapped in Ben Solo’s arms, you were content.

The vision of Coruscant appeared in your mind. Of you and him on the balcony overlooking the crowded hyperlanes of the planet home to so much life that it had become life itself. A place where anyone could blend in. Or disappear.

You blinked, wiping away the dream. “What if I never find one?”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “I’d say that’s pretty unlikely. The Empire took what they could, but that doesn’t mean that they were thorough.”

“No. I mean…” You dropped your gaze, holding his hands on your waist. “What if we left now? Before I find a crystal, and before you undergo the Jedi Trials.”

At that, his face fell. “This is your fear talking. You’re not thinking rationally.”

“No, just… listen to me.” You guided yours and his hands over your heart, acutely aware of its relentless pace. “Is this our destiny? To steal moments under the cover of darkness? Away from the eyes of the galaxy?”

Ben was silent for a long moment, his honey eyes searching yours, full of conflict. “What if it is?”

Your breaths mingled, dancing to the tune of your heartbeats. His words told a different story than his heart—the heart you shared.

“I know you don’t believe that,” you said, running a thumb over his rosy cheeks. “So, what’s stopping you?”

He untangled himself from your grasp, raking his fingers through his hair as he paced the room. “I can’t just leave. The galaxy is on the brink of another war—the same war my family dedicated their lives to ending. I’ve spent the last thirteen years working to become a Jedi Knight, to protect the people of the galaxy from conflicts like this.” He pinched the bridge of his aquiline nose, shaking his head lightly. “I’ve come too close to throw it all away now.”

He was right. The galaxy was in jeopardy, its future dependent on the New Republic’s ability to snuff out a fire before it became an inferno. War was likely, and when it came, you both needed to be there to serve the light. To serve justice.

You realized then just how polarized the two of you were. Ben, the son of a Skywalker, burdened with the weight of a legacy imposed upon him from birth. Hailing from a family that ensured he would follow the Jedi path, just as his uncle and grandfather had.

And you, the daughter of a traitor. With no one left to turn to. Whose family legacy was that of deceit and treason.

It was unfair to ask this of him; you knew that. But in the same breath, you couldn’t imagine continuing to live like this.

Before you could apologize, Ben’s hands seized your face, his lips crashing against yours. His kiss felt like a flame breathing oxygen, burning hot and powerful, rendering you senseless.

“But I can’t lose you, either,” he said, resting his forehead on yours. “You are the stars in my sky. Without you, I’d be lost in the dark.”

Your heart skipped at his confession, and yet, words eluded you. The three you’d long wanted to give voice to felt too constrictive. What you shared with him went beyond anything under the definition of love alone. It was so much more than that—a connection that tied you to one another. The Force itself granted you this insight when it bridged your minds, creating the bond you shared. To call it love would be a disservice.

“Then come with me,” you whispered, pulling away to look at him. “It doesn’t have to be today. Just someday. Tomorrow holds endless possibilities for us.”

He pursed his lips as he let out a long breath, leaving you in agonizing suspense as he prepared his answer. “Okay.”

Elated, you reached to cup his face, eager to return the kiss he’d given you moments ago. Except his hands stopped you before you could.

“But only after you’ve finished your training,” he added, hands gliding down your arms. “And when the galaxy doesn’t need our help.”

It was a fair compromise to make—no different from you asking him to leave his life behind. Most of all, it was a compromise you could live with.

“Promise?” you asked, looking up at him through your lashes.

“I promise.” He breathed the words rather than whispered them, stoking the fire in your chest. Before you could, he closed the distance and kissed you again, more gently this time—perhaps than ever before. It was the manifestation of his word, and yours in return.

When he eventually pulled away, the ghost of his touch lingered, burning through your very soul. A vortex threatened to consume you, chipping away at your rationality, seeking to swallow you whole. But now was not the time. In this moment, you knew what you needed to do, and even if it required the strength of all the stars in the galaxy, you would do it.

You cleared your throat as you reached for the holomap, forcing yourself to be interested in anything other than tearing Ben’s clothes off. “It looks like this path here branches out into three smaller ones.” Using the dial on the base of the map, you magnified the projected image, looking to Ben for reassurance. “We’ll follow it through.”

He nodded. “Lead the way, captain.”

The two of you continued down the cavern’s narrow and winding passages for hours, only stopping when an unexpected gleam of light caught your eye. Out of the twelve times you’d hoped to find kyber, eight were quartzite, with the other four being shards of scrap metal left behind from the Empire’s demolitions. Each disappointment chipped away at your morale, feeding into your belief that you were unworthy of being a Jedi.

Ben must have recognized this as he suggested stopping for a break, digging through his pack for an energy ration. You came to stand beside him, dragging your feet across the ground as if they had turned into blocks of ice.

“Here,” he said, offering you the ration he’d fished out. “You need to eat. This will tie you over until we can get back to the ship.”

“At this rate, that could be days from now.” Your fingers had lost all dexterity as you tried to unwrap the ration, mouth beginning to water at the thought of food. “I just want to go home.”

As you took the first bite, your vision turned white, but only for a fraction of a second. It startled you, causing you to drop the chocolate-coated ration onto the icy floor.

“Hey! Careful with the Endorian cocoa. That stuff’s hard to come by nowadays,” Ben said as a deafening shriek pierced the silence of the caverns.

You twisted your neck, trying to identify where it originated, heart hammering against your ribs as you lifted a trembling finger to your lips.

Ben grabbed the crook of your arm, turning you to face him. “What are you doing?” His tone was stern, seemingly unfazed by the cry that still echoed through the caves.

You wrested your arm free, lowering your voice to below than a whisper. “Are you deaf? That noise—the scream. We’re not alone.”

“I didn’t hear anything.” His dark eyes were wide, suspicious. “And we are alone. If we weren’t, the holomap would pick up their heat signatures, too.”

You lowered your eyes to the map, finding only yours and Ben’s forms in shades of red and yellow. But before you could consider any logical explanations for the sound, another cry rang through the tunnel, this time coming from the unexplored end of the path. Shrouded in darkness, the path beckoned you, drawing you closer like a magnet. The voice was deep and distorted, yet familiar. You closed off your other senses, focusing only on the voice as it came to clarity. Someone—or something—was calling for you.

“Come to me…” it said, nearly clear enough to be mistaken for another person in the room. “My love.”

Your breath hitched and tears welled in your eyes, rolling down your cold cheeks and onto the exposed fur of your jacket. It was a voice you wouldn’t soon forget.

“M-mom?” you asked, like a child searching for comfort in the night.

Ben stiffened at the word. “Princess, there’s no one else here.” From the volume of his voice, you could tell he was wary. He must have thought you were in a hallucinatory state, and truthfully, you couldn’t blame him.

“I know, but I can hear her calling for me,” you said, voice cracking as you stepped towards her voice. “I have to follow it.”

“No, you don’t.” He reached for you again, pressing the back of his hand to your forehead. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Maybe you caught something in the infirmary or–”

“I’m fine,” you snapped, pulling away. “I just… feel like this is something I need to do.”

“Well, you’re not going alone,” Ben insisted, trailing behind you. “I promised Master Skywalker that I would keep you safe, and I can’t do that if we’re separated.”

You ignored him, turning on your heels and reaching into the Force to guide you in the right direction.

Beyond the shadows was another frost-lined chamber, and as you entered, the world around you fell silent. No voices, no footsteps, no ambient drops of water. Only the sound of your breath.

Your boots squeaked on the icy ground as you shifted your weight, glancing back to find Ben. To your surprise—and horror—you found yourself entirely alone. Not only that, but the chamber itself had become something unrecognizable, with no exits and cramped walls.

Panic swelled in your chest and as it did, the ice beneath you gave way, plunging you into dark, freezing water.

You were numb in an instant. Struggling against the weight of your clothes and the fear consuming you, you tried to swim, limbs heavy as bricks as you willed them to move. Unable to process what had happened, your thoughts were overtaken by instinct.

Slowly, you pushed forward, following the only source of light spilling through the black water. With no end in sight, you wondered if you would even make it, lungs growing tight, burning more with each passing second.

The light was pure, preternaturally so, blinding you as you swam into its glow. You resisted the urge to draw a breath, knowing that doing so would only seal your fate. You couldn’t die like this, not now. Not after the promises you’d made in these caves.

As the light engulfed you, you thought of Ben. Where was he? Could he sense that you were on the verge of sinking into oblivion? Would he mourn you when he realized?

With that last question, you used what was left of your energy to call to the Force, pleading for its aid. It wasn’t long before its familiar warmth came to you, an invisible hand grabbing yours and guiding you to the surface.

As you approached the rippling plane of water, you could hear your name being called, dampened by the roar of blood rushing in your ears. It came again, louder this time, synchronous with your hand breaking through the water.

Cool air kissed your skin, welcoming you back to life. You thrashed at the surface, coughing up the water you’d taken in when you fell, nearly heaving from the force of it. As you opened your burning eyes, you found that the hand holding yours wasn’t invisible at all, but tangible, as real as your own.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” your mother said, lips unmoving as her words permeated the air. “You’re safe now.”

She looked ethereal, a backdrop of white light painting her like a vision of an angel. For a moment, you were sure that you’d arrived in the afterlife, reunited with your mother at long last. It wasn’t until her hand slipped away and yours hit the hard stone floor you realized you weren’t.

The brilliant light vanished along with her presence, leaving you blanketed in darkness. Desperate to escape the freezing water, you clawed at the jagged stone of the opening, mustering the strength to prop yourself up on your elbows. Your nails dug into your palms as you pushed yourself out of the water, crawling only a few inches before falling onto your back, muscles screaming. The layers of wet clothing clung to your skin, sending a violent chill through your bones, but you didn’t care. All you could focus on was your breathing, the sweet sting of air filling your lungs.

The Force lingered around you as you lay there, fists slowly unfurling as the adrenaline waned. As your fingers relaxed, something rolled out of your palm, hitting the wet stone with a soft clink.

Your eyes shot open at the sound. Scrambling to sit up, you searched for the object in the dim light, but it didn’t take you long.

Beside you was a glowing crystal, pulsing with a heartbeat of its own and humming a soft melody attuned to your ears. You blinked in disbelief as you reached for it, tears blurring your vision.

A blue heart of kyber, calling to you.

#jedi: fall order fanfiction if you squint #I love these two idiots so much I can't to break their hearts #ben solo #ben solo x reader #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren x you #ben solo x fem!reader #ben solo x you #star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars self insert #kylo ren smut #ben solo smut #my writing

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jessepinwheel · 29 days

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What is the end of para? Or like how do you see the galaxy changing after the Empire collapses? Multiple dif regimes across the galaxy? What's Alderaan up to? Or Naboo since Padme is trusted enough to be a handler for a Mando-Jedi. Also love that Maul got the chance to be a Jedi <3

well, fundamentally the number of mandalorians is extremely overwhelmed by the number of worlds they've taken, and their main way of enforcing their rule was to send suppression forces when worlds were starting to do things they didn't like or weren't paying their tithes. without an efficient surveillance system, or with multiple worlds rebelling at once, they're really easily overwhelmed by sheer numbers

which is to say, after the coup the mandalorians communications systems are completely trashed, almost all of their leaders have been assassinated, their emperor is dead, and the darksaber has been destroyed. there's a huge power vacuum and a bunch of mandalorian clans break out into fighting for the throne. the mandalorian empire has also historically instituted limits on ship production and highly policed hyperlane traffic to stop people from occupied planets from leaving, which is really biting them in the ass and ends up stranding a lot of mandalorians due to not having a ride out or a way to call for one. basically this ends with a lot of fighting over resources because mandalore receives most of its food and other essential resources from tithes, which colonized worlds are no longer supplying. so they're basically killing each other and also starving to death because a society that's all warriors is, uh, not sustainable

a lot of worlds claimed by mandalore are able to regain full independence, including alderaan. bail and breha end up accepting a lot of refugees from mandalorian worlds, many of whom are non-mandalorians who were living in service to mandalorian clans and others who are mandalorians who agree to disarm. a little keldabe community ends up forming on alderaan, which is fine as long as none of the mandalorian refugees, y'know, kill people

naboo, which is also a highly established mandalorian world, is not doing great for similar reasons to mandalore itself, though it does have the benefit of being more self-sufficient with regards to food. it probably ends up as one of a handful of sanctuary worlds for empire mandalorians after the empire broke apart. for padme specifically, she presumably tries to launch an attack on a previously occupied world and ends up being arrested along with many other belligerent mandalorians who refuse to give up on the empire. she refuses to disarm and take the community service way out, sticking to her principles and the mandalorian empire

yeah, dathomir is outside the reach of the mandalorian empire, which is how maul and his brothers ended up with the jedi. (the nightsisters give force sensitive children every so often to the mandalorian empire effectively as a tithe to leave the rest of the planet alone, which is how ventress ended up there.) maul mostly stays in dagobah because his legs were injured in his fight vs qui-gon, and he runs the jedi's amateur theatre troupe (which he inherited from mace) as well as works with jocasta nu with archival work. he and obi-wan have pretty much had a weird rivalry all their lives, and maul was absolutely devastated when obi-wan got captured (and presumably killed).

ask me questions about parasitic extraction, the role reversal mandalorian empire au that I have

#ask jesse #fic: parasitic extraction

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h4lftruths4ndhyperb0le · 8 months

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I thought I was going to be so normal about Ahsoka and that it would be a fun and maybe good but overall just fine experience but I was NOT ready for episode five and I’m back again because instead of sleep I’m thinking about how important everything Anakin says to Ahsoka is when applied to the Jedi Order as a whole.

The role of the Jedi is to be peacekeepers. And that got so taken advantage of in the war because there wasn’t peace to keep, only to try to regain. Sidious stripped away the part of their work that was about finding balance to its barest bones, leaving them in a situation where that required ongoing, seemingly hopeless fighting.

And that’s where Anakin’s dialogue becomes SO IMPORTANT, because if you define the Jedi by what they had to become in the face of a war, all they leave behind is a group of people who fought and lost friends and then died, failing to save the galaxy. But they are more than that, and their legacies are tied up in all those who came before them. And that perspective emphasizes that their actions weren’t just violent for the sake of violence, but violence undertaken in a desperate attempt to save everyone, and to bring peace.

And I think that is so important to have as a message for Ahsoka specifically. She walked away from the Order, recognizing that it was a place she couldn’t grow or process her emotions, and yet (as we see in this episode, and, I’d argue, all of her appearances after leaving) never left the central training behind. Ahsoka still works toward peace, still helps people, still acts, essentially, in a manner aligned with the Jedi. And at this point, she’s among the last living beings with firsthand experience of the Order. She carries their legacy with her, whether or not she calls herself a Jedi.

And this conversation, this whole encounter, is about the fact that, with Ahsoka’s current view, that can only be a burden, but from the perspective Anakin is showing her, it becomes uplifting, buoying, something she can fall back on—a reminder that she’s not alone, and she’s more than the hand she was dealt.

#star wars #star wars clone wars #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka series #and I could have a whole separate post about Ahsoka not calling herself a Jedi versus Luke’s decision to claim the title #ahsoka episode 5 #yeah so #turns out I’m not normal about this

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moveslikebucky · 10 months

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Oh no it’s time for me to post my season 2 thoughts that nobody asked for!

Under the cut because obviously spoilers. Not a very long post tho I’m not going into extreme detail here.

OK SO first off let me preface, as someone who mainly writes book omens content, I think it will be shocking when I say I genuinely loved everything about this season.

It took me a couple of days to digest and figure out my thoughts aside from that absolute GUT WRENCHING ending Jesus Christ but here’s the thing a lot of others have said too but in my goofy way of saying it.

This is 1980. We all just watched Han Solo get frozen in carbonite, watched Luke get his hand chopped off and find out the man he’s sworn to destroy to save the galaxy is his father, watched everyone be at their absolute lowest and then the credits roll and the familiar and beloved theme song plays and we’re sitting in the theater going ??????????

And we don’t get Return of the Jedi til 1983.

And we’ll all be fine and so will they, the triumph happens in the end, wouldn’t be a good story otherwise.

I have many nebulous thoughts but the main thing is I have been seeing a lot of people saying that our boys are completely OOC or somewhat OOC for the entire season or at least for that last 15 minutes or so.

And here is where I say something shocking again!

I don’t think they are at all, whether you’re looking at TV characterizations OR the original book ones.

Hear me out don’t get your pitchforks on me just yet.

In the novel, their character arcs are completed because it was always meant to be a fully stand alone novel. At the end of the book there is a full acceptance between the two of them and they actually talk to each other in a meaningful way but CRUCIALLY, a thing that was missing from the tv season, I think is where specifically they diverge.

In the book, when Aziraphale possesses the televangelist, and goes off the rails completely - that is showing in unequivocal terms that Aziraphale is rejecting Heavens dogma. He’s on the same page as Crowley now, and they stay on the same page through the end of the novel.

Neil knew, because it was what Terry wanted, that he was going to have to do the sequel they never did. The sequel that didn’t exist when they wrote the first novel.

Speaking as a writer, even knowing that Patton Oswalt was originally on board to play the televangelist, I feel like leaving that scene out was a very specific way to set up for what we have now.

Aziraphale ends season 1 ambiguously. If you had read the book you can take it as “hell yea they’re on the same page now!” And it’s a perfectly valid reading.

But…

You don’t have to. It’s not implicit. They’re still not really talking about things, just around them. Aziraphale is still shocked when Crowley thinks everyone will come after Earth, still has panic in his eyes until Crowley distracts him. Crucially, Crowley does not tell him what happened in heaven. He only listens to Aziraphale dither on about towels and rubber ducks.

Aziraphale had not broken fully free from his cult.

They’re leaving him alone but his bookshop is still and embassy. He’s still with them, in some small way.

I don’t think the metatron brainwashed him with a miracle (or that he’s been kicking about in reality). He didn’t need to do that when simple manipulation is all that it takes.

Show up and make the people who are mean to him look stupid, compliment Crowley and Muriel who he likes, extract him from his support system, make it seem urgent make it seem just this side of too good to be true of an offer.

The metatron has heard first hand just how much Aziraphale wants to change things, how he wants to do what’s right instead of what is Right™️.

He gives Aziraphale everything he thinks he wants right on a silver platter, including a way to protect Crowley.

Aziraphale accepting that offer is completely in character because, crucially, he is not at the same place in his character arc as he was in the book.

But the thing is, Crowley isn’t either.

Crowley is withholding EXTREMELY vital information from Aziraphale still for his “protection”.

Information that would’ve bolstered Aziraphale to not take that offer, really. Because these boys don’t talk.

I don’t have as much to say about Crowley here, his arc is also not at the same place as in the end of the book, but I see more people mad about Aziraphale’s so that’s what I wanted to address.

Anyway I loved it, and if u have read this far, thank you! Plz don’t leave a bunch of negativity in the replies here, feel free to disagree, but this is a thing I consume for fun and I don’t want to discourse about it I’m just posting my opinion.

#text #good omens s2 spoilers #maybe if I don’t tag the main tag this will stay small hmm

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cienie-isengardu · 9 months

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Through the Prequels, there were moments in which source material acknowledged and outright said Jedi became too arrogant. The best example comes from Attack of the Clones:

"I am concerned for my Padawan," Obi-Wan Kenobi said to Yoda and Mace Windu as the three walked along the corridors of the Jedi Temple. "He is not ready to be given this assignment on his own." "The Council is confident in this decision, Obi-Wan," Yoda said. "The boy has exceptional skills," Mace agreed. "But he still has much to learn, Master," Obi-Wan explained. "His skills have made him… well, arrogant." "Yes, yes," Yoda agreed. "It's a flaw more and more common among Jedi. Too sure of themselves, they are. Even the older, more experienced Jedi." Obi-Wan considered the words with an assenting nod. They certainly rang true, and the current conditions among the Jedi in this time of mounting tension were a bit unsettling, with many off on their own far from Coruscant. And had not arrogance played a major role in Count Dooku's decision to depart the Order, and the Republic? [AotC by R.A. Salvatore]

However I do not think Yoda - and Kenobi for that matter - truly thought this applicate to them personally. I mean, Obi-Wan's first reaction was to connect arrogance to Jedi in general and Dooku specifically instead of taking a moment to wonder if Yoda's words may be also about his own persona. And then during Battle of Geonosis it was Obi-Wan who assumed he and Skywalker (a padawan few days before he claimed to not be ready for solo mission) will be enough to stop and capture Count Dooku, one of the great Jedi Masters and top duelist of Order.

Yoda's perception of own arrogance hit hard once Order 66 was issued and he failed to stop Darth Sidious. As could be seen in Revenge of the Sith by Matthew Stover:

Even after nearly nine hundred years, the road to self-knowledge was rugged enough to leave him bruised and bleeding. He spoke softly, but not to himself. Though no one was with him, he was not alone. "My failure, this was. Failed the Jedi, I did." He spoke to the Force. And the Force answered him. Do not blame yourself, my old friend. As it sometimes had these past thirteen years, when the Force spoke to him, it spoke in the voice of Qui-Gon Jinn. "Too old I was," Yoda said. "Too rigid. Too arrogant to see that the old way is not the only way. These Jedi, I trained to become the Jedi who had trained me, long centuries ago-but those ancient Jedi, of a different time they were. Changed, has the galaxy. Changed, the Order did not-because let it change, I did not."

#star wars #yoda #obi wan kenobi #jedi #i guess it is easier to see the faults in others than your own #but i wonder how jedi order would look if yoda allowed it to change #instead of keeping to the past #this also nicely ties down to why yoda was so troubled by anakin as force didn't let him foresaw future #the fear of change #is such an interesting concept for yoda outliving majority of jedi for almost 9 centuries

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queen-scribbles · 4 months

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Sanctuary

Art trade fic for @vexa-legacy! I wrote ssome Toe Beans circa War for Iokath, ~2000 words

---

The meadow was easy to visit.

Its distance from the Jedi temple was no more than an invigorating hike, the solace he found there always more than worth the effort. And it was his. A place where the troubles of the galaxy couldn't reach him, serene, unspoiled. Birdsong and babbling brook a soothing backdrop when he wanted to meditate and cleanse his thoughts.

Pristine.

Quiet.

Paradise.

Through all his training, all his adventures, it was a ready sanctuary when he needed the space to breathe. And he visited it often as he could. After defeating Bengel Morr, after dealing with Darth Angral and mourning Master Orgus, when he was freed from the Emperor's control. Always alone, with only his thoughts and the Force for company--except for the one very special time he shared it with Kira.

It was even easier to reach now--a memory no more than a thought away when he needed to retreat, to breathe, thanks to the Empire's assault on Tython so long ago.

He had needed it a lot. Fighting Arcann was draining, the demands and decisions hung on his shoulders with the mantle of commander a weight to carry, no matter how willingly he assumed the role. Fighting Vaylin was even more arduous--her flame may have burned out faster than her brother's, but it had burned hotter as well, claiming lives with the reckless and voracious hunger of wildfire. And even now, the lull between storms, as his feet tread Odessen's wilderness paths, his mind was in a far-off hideaway on Tython.

Centering himself on the babble of a remembered stream as he passed between trees. Hearing the faint birdsong as his steps finally slowed. Almost able to smell the long-lost flowers as he settled himself on a large boulder.

The picture of it was crystal clear in his mind as he slipped deeper into meditation. The Force whispered around him and made it all the more vivd. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there, aware of the wildlife around him while also visiting the secret place he would never again see in person, before his comm beeped. A couple hours, at least, judging by the sun.

He let the idyllic slip from his mind, returning to reality as he unclipped his comm and answered it. "Yes, Lana, go ahead."

"We've received some information that should be discussed, Commander." The connection feathered static on the edges of her accent. "Information regarding Iokath. How soon do you think you can return?"

He sighed, straightening his legs and pushing off the rocky seat. "Give me an hour, I suppose. Is it really that important?"

"Let's say I believe it should be acted on as quickly as possible, and leave the rest for when you're back."

If she was being this evasive on a private comm channel on the Alliance's own planet, it must be serious. "Of course, I'll be there soon."

Corrus started walking, leaving wilderness real and remembered behind.

---

Lana's news was indeed big--an anonymous tip giving rough coordinates of a superweapon on Iokath. Something you might want to investigate, the source added vaguely.

"Not a lot of detail," Theron muttered, and Corrus had to agree. It sounded almost like a trap; just enough information to catch their attention and make it seem they couldn't pass it up, without specifics to make it more solid.

"Do you think it's credible?" he asked Lana.

"Credible enough to investigate," Lana said with a firm nod. She pulled up a holo of the planet, a small orange marker hovering over a location. "It's rough coordinates, not exact, but if such a weapon truly exists, I don't think we can afford to leave it unclaimed."

She had a point, and both men nodded. Given their previous experience with Iokath technology, a superweapon from there was not the sort of thing to just leave figuratively lying around.

"And the radiation has receded to safe levels," Lana continued. "If we send a small team to investigate, I don't see any real danger." She keyed up the planet's stats and the levels, sure enough, had just dropped below dangerous.

"Alright," Corrus said with a nod. He studied the planetary information still scrolling across the holo. "Who do we send?"

"Oh, I can handle it," Lana said briskly, hands clasped behind her back. "You have quite enough on your plate, Commander."

She wasn't wrong there, either. The saying might be "No rest for the wicked", but the good didn't seem to catch any more of a break.

"Awfully quick to volunteer," Theron drawled in a tone of friendly prodding, leaning back against a console with arms crossed. "Feeling cooped up, Beniko?"

"Perhaps," Lana said, faint smile pulling her lips. "Perhaps I'm curious to see this mysterious superweapon myself."

"Whatever the case may be, I think you can handle it," Corrus said wryly. "Go ahead. I'll want status reports."

"Of course." She nodded, already heading for the exit. "We'll work out how frequent once we see what's waiting for us."

---

What was waiting for them, in the long run, was a clusterfuck. The Republic and Empire had received the same tip, the planet was still rife with homicidally protective droids, and the superweapon was--as Theron so eloquently put it--more akin to the apocalypse than a mere weapon.

"No one should have this," Corrus said grimly, and then set about making it so, even if the Republic's backing in the endeavor was more to keep the Empire from getting it rather than agreeing.

Still, he and Theron fought more droids than Imps as they worked their way across the planet. Scouring droids, like they'd faced on their last (unwanted) visit, caretakers, remotes, they all seemed to still regard any organic life as an infection to cleanse. That would weight less on his conscience than human life, at least.

He wondered what Kira would think of this place--all metal and angles and apocalypse weapons. There'd be some deadpan commentary for sure and he wished she was here to give it. He closed his eyes briefly as the tram whisked along and the image of her face lingered, followed by his meadow; natural beauty in sharp contrast to the mechanical austerity that surrounded him.

He only had a moment to dwell on the person and place he missed most before the tram lurched as it came to a stop and it was time to deal with reality.

"Theron, I've reached the superweapon command..."

Determination and Jedi focus carried him through the initial rush of energy as the throne controls reacted to his presence. Through his confrontation with the machine god Tyth and the revelation of a traitor in the Alliance. But the rush of power unleashed as Tyth's rage boiled over under the Fleet's bombardment proved too much and the world went white.

---

It shouldn't have been a surprised where his mind went when overwhelmed.

He supposed it wasn't.

The meadow, of course, looked exactly the same as the last time he'd visited in meditation. And the time before that, and the time before that. The same as it always would.

"Hey, handsome."

He spun at the familiar voice, heart leaping in his chest. "Kira."

She pushed away from the outcropping she'd been leaning against. "First things first, you know this is a dream, right?"

"Considering this place" --he trailed his fingers gently over flower heads--"is no more than a crater now?" He sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I know." He walked closer, leaning in with a smile to kiss her forehead. "But it's a good one, so let me enjoy it, huh?"

"Oh, fine," Kira(but not really Kira) grinned. "I suppose heroes are allowed occasional breaks. Though it really shouldn't take getting shocked unconscious for you to let yourself have one, you big dummy."

"Hey, that's hardly my preference, either," he protested. "You know how it goes; dangerous business being a hero, and there's only so much I can do to fight an electrical surge," he said with affectionate teasing.

"Yeah, well, do a little better will you?" Kira arched a brow and tugged on the collar of his armor until he bent toward her. "I need you healthy, Toe Beans." She kissed his nose and he laughed.

"You know, no one's called me that in months," Closer to a year, maybe, "Guess they all think it would be too informal a way to address the Commander. Or they just don't know about it."

"All the more reason to have me around," Kira joked, though her tone was just as wistful as it was playful as she traced her fingertips along his markings. "I'd fix both of those in a jiff."

This laugh was a little sad. "I'm working on it. Awful big galaxy to be looking for one person. But I will find you, Kira."

She grinned and winked. "Not if I find you first. Can't expect you to do all the work, handsome."

"Whatever gets us together faster," he said glibly. "I'm happy to let you win that race."

"Aw, come on, Cor, its not fun without a little competition," Kira teased. She let her fingers trail down his jaw as she let him go and turned to survey the meadow. "Y'know, I miss this place a surprising amount for only visiting it once. Can't imagine how it feels for you."

"Why do you think I'm here now? I've accepted the real thing is gone, but the memories are still there to visit when... when I need to."

She cocked her head. "You're not the type to run away."

"Not running away." He tugged her in, back to his chest, his arm loosely around her shoulders. "Call it a strategic retreat. A sanctuary to clear my head and better process my thoughts so I can plan. A lot of people depend on my plans, y'know."

Kira snorted a laugh at the exaggerated gravitas. "I do know, Battlemaster. Speaking of people depending on you..." She reached up and squeezed his arm before stepping away and turning to face him. "Shouldn't you be getting back? If I know the sort of trouble you like getting yourself into, the fun's just starting."

He hummed almost-a-laugh. "I should. Though you don't need to make it sound like I go looking for trouble. It just always finds me."

"You don't hide from it very well, though, love." She traced her fingers down his jaw once more, before putting more space between them.

"Once we're together, I will," he promised, then smirked. "At least for a little bit. Then we'll go find trouble and kick its ass."

Kira grinned. "You do know how to make a girl feel special. I'll hold you to it." She winked, blew him a kiss, and stepped out of sight around the outcropping.

"Kira-" He followed, but she was gone when he swung around the rocks. He should've expected it; he could feel reality imposing itself over his retreat.

He still looked, even as the sun flared brighter, soft beams that had lit the space now dazzlingly harsh, until it was overwhelming--harsh and clinical and washing away the meadow.

---

He was barely given time to miss Kira or the meadow when he woke, barely given time to adjust from almost dying. Pulled into conversation about what happened, who betrayed you, what should we do now? with a headache still banging behind his eyes. He was used to it. Sometimes you had to just keep moving forward to maintain your momentum, deal with problems before they spiraled out of control.

Once they settled things for Iokath and he had a moment for himself, Corrus found himself dwelling on the long lost meadow and Kira's smile in almost equal measure. One was lost forever, but that only increased his determination to see the other again. I'll find you, Kira. Somehow, in all this mess. I will.

He'd almost swear he heard her chuckle. Not if I find you first.

He could find sanctuary enough in that smile. Deal.

#queens fic #toe beans #art trade #he was v fun to write #enjoy!!#swtor #swtor fic

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phoenixkaptain · 2 years

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I can’t help but find something so fascinating about Legends’ Luke.

He grew up on Tatooine, a place I am still unconvinced has an actual school on it. He grew up somehow being optimistic on the worst planet in the known galaxy. Do you realize how bad Tatooine is? They have a Sarlacc Pit, they have two suns, they have a den of evil and corruption and villainy, and a Hutt lives there! And Luke is still an optimist!

But the way the novels especially portray Luke’s thought process is what fascinates me. Luke isn’t confident in his abilities. Luke doesn’t even fully understand his abilities. He has to figure out how to train Leia when he was barely trained himself. He has to figure out how to teach children when he doesn’t even understand what that would even entail.

He is nervous and he is depressed and he has moments where he thinks about old fights and gets more nervous. He’s also friends with Lando Calrissian, who for all intents and purposes set a trap specifically for Luke! Nobody else trusts Lando as much after that debacle, except for Luke, who apparently talks to him enough for Lando to teach him how to make hot chocolate.

Luke gave his father a second chance. His father who killed countless people and killed Luke’s friends and killed Luke’s family and Luke still believed that he could be good. So of course Luke gives Lando another chance, Luke is the King of Giving Out Second Chances.

There are parts where he just drifts. Where he’s alone and he feels lonely and he doesn’t want to do anything and the weight of everything feels like it’s crushing him. But, he still tries to convince Threepio and Leia that he’s fine. Leia can literally feel his emotions and Luke just tells her he’s fine. Luke tells everyone that he’s fine, when he really just feels lost.

Luke refers to Yoda as his Master and his friend. He considers Obi-Wan his Master and his friend, but more than that even, he loves Obi-Wan and is absolutely crushed when Force Ghost Obi-Wan tells him he’s leaving. Luke went through the most rushed and hurried Jedi training in the history of ever, but he still tries to remember what Yoda and Obi-Wan did. More, he tries to understand why they taught him the way they did. Were they pressed for time or was Luke really just that quick of a learner? Luke has no idea.

But, I think of Luke losing time, a lot. Where he’ll be doing something and he’ll blank out the whole memory. And yes, this is mostly referred to when Luke uses the Force, and I like to think it’s the Force letting Luke sit in the backseat while it drives for a few seconds or minutes. The point isn’t that though. The point is that he loses time and he doesn’t remember things and he doesn’t know how he can use the Force, he doesn’t understand why he can use the Force, and he can’t explain it to anyone, because Luke doesn’t really consciously use the Force that much.

I think we’re meant to assume that Luke is sort of always using the Force. I say this because from the very start back in 1976, we know that Luke would drive full tilt at canyon walls to pull away at the last second. We know that he had a somehow impeccable aim with a blaster. We know that he dodges attacks without even really comprehending why he’s moving. Luke is sort of always using the Force, especially as the movies go on to the Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. I don’t think Luke knows how not to use the Force, really.

We know that Jedi can hide themselves, even that early on, because Obi-Wan managed to hide his presence from Darth Vader while they were on the Death Star (for a while, at least, and even then, it’s implied that Obi-Wan slipped up for one second. Vader just noticed that slip up because he’s so familiar with Obi-Wan). But hiding himself from Vader is never really an option that Luke considers. He doesn’t know how to hide himself, he doesn’t know how to be anything other than a flashing beacon. Luke uses the Force so casually in Return of the Jedi, and maybe it’s strange, but I really think he can use it so easily because he’s always using it.

Luke dissociates and Luke zones out and Luke thinks about things that have nothing to do with his current dilemma and Luke’s aunt and uncle both died and Obi-Wan (who in the novel is described by Luke as practically being the desert. Luke associates him with Tatooine, because Ben has always been there, and therefore, on some level, Luke associates him with his home) dies and Luke has to shove all of that emotion down to do more action sequences. Luke believes in his father even when Vader is watching him be electrocuted and Luke tried so hard to save Vader by getting him off the ship and Luke burned Anakin in a pyre then went and smiled at Leia to tell her that he was fine.

Luke is a self-sacrificing character on a fundamental level. He does stupid stuff and he doesn’t really expect to live through it. We know this because he’s so excited to live through it. His assumptions were proven wrong, he’s still alive, and he didn’t see that coming.

Luke is also unlike every other Jedi we ever end up seeing. He has attachment because I honestly think that splitting up Force twins would be the equivalent of splitting an atom, so… Luke tries to speak around things, but he always ends up explaining in layman’s terms in the end. His plans are very clear cut, it’s obvious that Leia is the one who comes up with plans because Luke isn’t good at coming up with plans. (All of Luke’s plans are: jump in and hope for the best. Luke should not be allowed to plan anything, I’m hesitant to even let him try and plan lessons, honestly-)

Luke is kind of similar to mavericks like Qui-Gon, but Luke, for the most part, tries to stay in the lines? I cannot stress enough how law-abiding Luke somehow is, despite growing up on fucking Tatooine. Maybe a part of that is that Luke doesn’t have a Council to answer to, but I don’t know. While his actions feel kind of like Qui-Gon, Luke isn’t because Qui-Gon was obsessive and Luke just isn’t. Luke isn’t like Obi-Wan either, because Obi-Wan is one of the most pessimistic optimists in the whole series, and Luke is just an optimist. Anakin is based, later on especially, more on Luke, but Anakin honestly acts more like Leia.

Leia is the one who had a whirlwind romance with an older person, just like her father. Leia is the one who is a War General. Leia is the one who gets angry and irate and hides it beneath a very thin veneer. Leia is the one who talks back to people who want to see her dead. Leia is the one who was still casually chilling in her cell on the Death Star, after being tortured and before her scheduled execution. Leia is the character who chases after escaping figures without really stopping to think. Leia is like Anakin, and I can’t help but think that Anakin’s writing is purposefully based more off of Leia than Luke.

Luke isn’t like the Jedi Council, who answer to a Senate. The New Republic wants him to answer to him, but Luke up and ditches them to go to Dagobah multiple times. In fact, Luke never checks with the New Republic before going somewhere. He might check with Leia, but even then… Luke straight up is like “I’m going to Dagobah. Does anyone know? Of course not. That would be silly.”

Luke is so chaotic, honestly, when portrayed with the New Republic, because they ask him to do or not to do things and he does not listen.

They tell Leia “There’s no time for you to train as a Jedi.”

Luke says: “Dang, I better learn how to becoem a teacher quicker so I can teach you despite the leaders saying no.”

They say: “Luke, the Rebels are going to this rendezvous point, meet us there.”

Luke: “I’ll meet you there in a few months, give or take.”

They say: “Luke, you need to fly in formation.”

Luke: “I am going in, guns blazing, with only fifteen monutes experience driving a ship in outer space, and I am going to go for kills with no back up, and I’m going to encourage my friends to get out of bad situations while I get myself into worse ones, and I’m going to turn off my targetting computer and blow up the Death Star.”

And what can the New Republic even do?? Luke doesn’t have a position, outside of the nebulous “Jedi Master” and Luke doesn’t even have a Jedi Council, so they can’t complain to the Council, like they did in the good ol days and if they treat Luke too poorly or don’t listen to him enough or bother him in any way, Leia Organa Solo will descend upon them with the wrath of ten thousand men. And, to make matters worse, Luke doesn’t let this power go to his head, so they can barely even complain to each other!

The New Republic has literally zero control over Luke and Luke’s actions. They can suggest things and he might do them, but Luke has the power to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. They are lucky he’s loyal, or he would probably dip out mid-mission.

This fact alone makes Luke the strangest Jedi. Luke answers to no one. The Jedi had a Council for thousands of years, but Luke doesn’t. Jedi Masters perform some feat of strength and overcome great trials to reach their station. Luke wasn’t even the one to actually kill the Emperor.

If I were to liken Luke to anyone, maybe it would be Yaddle. Especially with Tales of the Jedi’s depiction of her basically making her a direct mirror to Luke. Yaddle is young, for her species. Yaddle became a Master (I cannot stress enough that this may not be canon anymore, but it was at one point and good God I want it to be so bad) by meditating in a prison for a hundred years. Yaddle is willing to find a way to forgive Dooku for all of his innumerous crimes and she wants to be there for him because she knows Dooku had a strong attachment to his Padawan. Luke is what I imagine Yaddle would act like without the Council. Or maybe, Yaddle is what I imagine Luke would act like with the Council.

But really, there’s no Jedi that acts the way Luke does. Even when they tried to make Rey into a Luke-type, it just didn’t turn out that way. Luke is self-sacrificing, yes. Luke is reckless, he is dumb, he zones out, and he gets attached. But, Luke wants to help people. And Luke has an undying loyalty. And Luke responds to problems in the same way Anakin did, minus all the wrecked ships.

He’s such a unique character, especially in Legends’, and I think what strikes me is that they clearly wanted Luke to be a small version of his father, in the beginning.

But, somehow, Leia still has more in common with Vader than Luke does. Leia and Vader both are the faces of their respective organizations, despite not technically leading. Leia and Vader are both feared when they’re angry. Leia and Vader are both unimpressed and unintimidated by Tarkin. Leia and Vader have parallels and they act as opposites, the obvious being Leia in white and Vader in black. But, there’s also Vader’s complete faith in the Force, and Leia’s line that force just leads to downfall. Even their heights, with Vader being so tall and Leia being so short. They are clearly narrative foils, but in the way that they are similar depsite their differences. They’re both leaders. They even both act arrogant with fake accent. I cannot stress enough that Leia and Vader are so clearly two sides of the same coin, especially in A New Hope. Even down to them both getting excited when they realize Obi-Wan is aboard (albeit for different reasons…)

Luke just doesn’t have that with Vader. I feel like we as a culture are so aware of the twist in the second movie, that we just know it’s coming and so don’t think about Luke’s similarities. The only similarities they really share are that Luke looks like his dad and Luke pilots like his dad. Oh, and Luke has the Force like his dad. They’re both from Tatooine. I suppose you could call Luke’s unwavering faith in Vader’s goodness a reference to Vader’s unwavering faith in the Force. Luke does wear dark colours too. But those are things that come later!

In the first movie, the similarities are just looks, Tatooine, piloting. Luke is inherently innocent in the first movie in a way Vader or Anakin are never portrayed. It’s hinted in the novel and deleted scenes that the Lars family is poor, but just looking at the first movie and novel for reference, there’s no evidence really there to support the idea that Anakin grew up poor. Anakin went off to train with Jedi and fight in a war. Luke also runs off to train with Jedi and fight in a war, but even their motivations are different. Luke only leaves when there’s nothing left for him on Tatooine. Anakin probably could have returned at any point and Owen and Beru would’ve just shrugged and let him stay.

I just, I know Luke is supposed to be a mini version of his father, but it doesn’t feel like Vader was supposed to be that father, in A New Hope.

But, I’ve gotten sidetracked. Luke is a strange character. He dissociates. He cut off Vader’s hand and went “Yeah. I feel like we’re even now. I’m content.” He wonders how he can teach Leia and then dissociates for twenty minutes while using the training bot. He made Leia a lightsaber. He barely ever listens to any authority figure, but he almost always listens to Leia. He can understand binary and is fond of Artoo and Threepio. His best friend was the Force Ghost version of Obi-Wan. He considers Yoda his friend. He strangled a Gamorrean guard to death. He has a friendship with Lando Calrissian that is apparently very strong, but you almost never see them even stand next to each other. He and Leia are so ridiculously intuned to each other that they respond to each other’s thoughts and they can tell if each other is alive even when Leia’s on planet and Luke’s on the second Death Star. Luke probably would have had a similar bond with Vader, but he tried to keep it closed off. Leia gets pregnant with Force-sensitive twins and Luke’s first thought is “How am I going to train these children when I don’t know how to teach???”

Luke is so weird. He’s so strange. He’s absolutely adorable. He’s unlike any other Jedi in the series, and he found the stew Yoda made to be quite tasty, actually.

(Also, speaking of Yoda. Luke shimmied around Yoda’s little house, careful not to break anything, and he ate some stew and he had a talk and then he goes “Wait a minute, why am I sitting here with you? I was looking for Master Yoda >:/“ He got distracted, he got sidetracked, I occasionally jokingly say that Anakin has ADHD but actually it isn’t a joke and Luke definitely isn’t neurotypical either, Luke was just having a gay old time with the weird green man who introduced himself by stealing Luke’s stuff.)

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polgarawolf1 · 8 months

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Barriss Offee Day - Character Study

Sorry for the wonky format - it's because I'm too wordy for Tumblr's limits to have all my notes formatted like I want them to be!

This is rough and not really edited (the title is just a working title right now!), but I'm posting now because it's Barriss Day today!

I feel as if I can't say this enough: please be aware that this character study piece is meant to go along with a SW AU series of mine that I've been writing in, off and on, since the same summer that RotS came out in theatres! This is my headcanon Barriss for that specific AU series, which is my main SW AU series, so she's based mostly on the old SW EU (or Legends, as DISNEY calls it) with some of the newer DISNEY!SW canon adapted enough to be useful to me/make sense given that she's a Jedi Healer, but she's still an AU version of both versions of the official SW Barriss Offee character!

Title: “Barriss Chanah Offee: Jedi Healer and Jedi Commander”

Pairing: None as yet, though Kornell “Uli” Divini definitely has an enormous crush on Barriss during their shared time at Rimsoo (Republic Mobile Surgery Unit) 7, on Drongar, during the Clone Wars.

Rating: Uhm, probably a borderline PG-13, maybe (?)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Star Wars, more’s the pity! What I do have is an extremely contrary muse that refuses to shut up and leave me alone . . .

Summary: This is thirty-three random but chronological moments from the life of Barriss Chanah Offee, a strongly Force-sensitive Mirialan given to the Coruscanti Jedi Temple for training as an infant. Barriss is technically not quite an agemate of Anakin Skywalker’s, though she’s often grouped with those who are. She becomes close friends with Ahsoka Tano over the course of the Clone Wars and is generally known for her empathetic heart, her healing touch, her calm and grace, and her unshakeable loyalty to her friends and Jedi family. There is an actual story here – one small thread among the vast woven tapestry of life that is the living history of the galaxy, stretched out and twisted, knotted into the whole, curled down among the roots of time, connecting various moments together – but one must read between the lines to capture it. It is not precisely the truth, for the subtle story of these moments is sketched out here in words, and, in the sin of writing down a life, it inevitably changes the shape of things. But it is nevertheless a form of truth. (From a certain point of view . . . )

Warning: This story functions as a sort of compressed codex for Barriss Chanah Offee’s life, as she has been and is going to be written (or at least referred to) in my not even nearly complete AU Star Wars series You Became to Me. If anything doesn’t make sense, please, feel free to ask!

Author’s Notes: 1.) For anyone interested, this not-quite-a-story is compatible with my SW AU series You Became to Me, including the trilogy Thwarting the Revenge of the Sith, if you squint at a few things sideways and view a couple others solely through the lens of Barriss’ eyes. This is probably also technically compatible with a lot of other potential AU ’verses where the Clone Wars do not, ultimately, end up going like Sidious plans, but the majority of it should be at least mostly consistent with the old EU (barring what I’ve altered about Ferus Olin, etc.), at least up until roughly the Battle of Coruscant during RotS.

2.) My Barriss is and has always been based on the version of the character as she originally appeared in certain scenes/cut scenes for AotC and RotS and was initially written in the old EU, prior to the reboot for the Clone Wars period associated with the animated film and TV series. Thus, she’s closer in age to Anakin Skywalker than she is to Ahsoka Tano, a natural Jedi Healer, and does not end up falling prey to despair and the Dark Side and bombing the Coruscanti Jedi Temple, as is portrayed in Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I have made some concessions to the version of Barriss found in Star Wars: The Clone Wars and the current DISNEY!SW version of canon – she is about a year younger than in the old EU, for example, and does take part in some missions/battles that also involve Ahsoka and Anakin – and I am technically in the midst of revising/expanding Thwarting the Revenge of the Sith to include some more characters from the show, but please be aware that my main SW series is an AU and so certain characters and events and the timeline for the prequels/the war in general involve a slightly different/longer timeline as well as multiple changes from what’s depicted in the show (and even in the old EU, occasionally).I’m aware that Barriss is considered a Muslim-coded character, in large part due to the show, though it’s rather horrifying for me to consider that Filoni et al apparently made the choice to present her as being coded this way and yet still deliberately turned her into a terrorist bomber.

Please be aware that, since I first started writing what would become my Thwarting the Revenge of the Sith trio shortly after Revenge of the Sith first came out in theatres and I saw it and read (as fairly new hardbacks) both the novelization for RotS and James Luceno’s Labyrinth of Evil (which, for those who don’t know, acts essentially as an immediate predecessor for RotS) and I had it in my head from fairly early on that my AU ’verse would (eventually) involve the survival of a useful version of bota and, thus, Barriss Offee as a Jedi Healer (as I’d already read the MedStar duology by this point), a lot of my personal headcanon for Barriss (and also, by extension, for her Jedi Master, Luminara Unduli) and for Mirialan culture in general predates by at least three-four years both the start of the show and my awareness of the fact that she’s considered Muslim-coded. (It took me several years before I ever watched any of Star Wars: The Clone Wars and I am not a techy person, so it’s probably more like ten years plus before I had any actual personal knowledge from watching the parts of the show that include the ret-conned version of Barriss.) If anyone has any questions or is upset or bothered by anything, please let me know!

3.) Although this is technically modeled on part of a prompt set that I found ages ago and made a copy of from somewhere or another on the LJ, it’s not really meant to function as a response to whatever the challenge actually is or was that’s associated with said LJ prompt set. I just used the specific prompts to give me a reason to string together a backstory of sorts for Barriss and, since I’m working under a time constraint for the Barriss Day celebration, it’s entirely possible that I’ll come back to this and expand on it at some point in the future.

4.) Readers interested in knowing who the physical models are for EU characters (such as Uli Divini) or for original characters (like Jedi Shadow Knight Leyala Riani), for that matter, should please just probably ask me, rather than consult the latest versions of my posted lists of cast original and EU characters and for handmaid(en)s and other important Nabooian characters, which are available on my LJ, since I need to update all of them and what’s on the LJ (https://polgarawolf.livejournal.com/) is very old! Please note that characters who may be alluded to but not referenced by name (certain family members of original characters, for example) are considered too minor to be cast at this time, and that readers should feel free to imagine them howsoever they wish!

5.) Mirialans are considered near-human (they are cross-fertile with human norms in the EU and, likely, with many other types and/or species of near-humans, as well) and resemble human norms closely enough, physically, that I’ve always considered they may very well have originally evolved from human norms due to specific conditions found on their homeworld, Mirial (many of the “near-human” species in the GFFA seem to be humans with just enough genetic differences – from adapting to living on specific worlds/moons, mostly – and/or just enough cultural differences from more generic human norms to have been given a specific label, based on their homeworld). I mention this here because my headcanon is that Mirialans essentially age/mature like human norms do and also because I believe the tradition of Mirialan Jedi Knights/Masters taking on Mirialan Jedi apprentices is based on wanting to pass on direct knowledge of Mirialan culture and Force-based spirituality, not any form of xenophobia.

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“Barriss Chanah Offee: Jedi Healer and Jedi Commander”

01.) Incidence: Though one would hardly guess it, from the raw numbers alone (evident humans or human norms outnumbering so many other known sentient species in the galaxy by such a large margin), statistically speaking, as an entire species, Mirialans have an even higher overall incidence of sensitivity to the Force than human norms do (most likely due to the fact that survival on Mirial, their largely cold, dry homeworld, requires them to be more naturally in tune with their surroundings – and, thus, more open to the Force and its influence – than most of the worlds and moons where humans have proven both willing and able to settle); this greater percentage of Force-sensitives doesn’t always translate individually to higher levels of stronger Force-sensitivity, though, meaning that there are many Mirialans who make their homes both on Mirial and elsewhere who have midi-chlorian levels that are higher than average and yet still lower than is generally required for admittance to the Jedi Order for training, and so the number of Mirialan Force-sensitives in the Jedi Order is lower than that of human norms (and, indeed, several other types of near-humans, as well), enough so that the Mirialans in the Order thought it would be best to establish a tradition whereby Mirialan Jedi Knights/Masters would, whenever possible, take on Mirialan apprentices to train, so that Mirialan culture and customs could be taught directly from Master to Padawan, along with Jedi traditions and training.

02.) Process: Barriss Chanah Offee is found not on Mirial or any other inhabited planet, moon, or station, but rather on a starliner in deep space, by a Jedi not on a traditional Search but rather simply en route to Coruscant after a successful undercover mission in the Corporate Sector, who is still in the process of settling back into her own skin (after living under a false identity for the better part of four months rather than as Jedi Knight Leyala Riani) and is rather startled to find herself called to the ship’s infirmary, where a routine blood test given to a newborn has yielded a midi-chlorian count easily high enough to justify admittance to the Jedi Order for training (the infant is named by her tearful parents, given a slightly modified traditional blessing, and then promptly given over to the Jedi Shadow, who manages, after only a handful or so of incidences of usual unexpected interruptions, to safely get both herself and the by then several month old baby to the Coruscanti Temple).

03.) Routine: Barriss’ first real memories are of the Jedi Temple’s crèche – of having patient, kindhearted Jedi Carers helping her with her meals and with the layers of her youngling robes, modelled after the traditional Mirilian dress of a Force-sensitive spiritualist leader-in-training and a little more complicated than many of the robes worn by her crèchemates and friends; of accidentally running into a friendly Jedi Tender during a game of tag and being sent laughingly back to the proper Sept or age-group of her Initiate Clan; of going practically everywhere in a crowd of younglings, all in the same age-group or Phratry if not necessarily all belonging to the same Clan; of having a compassionate Twi’lek Docent gently drying her eyes after taking a hard tumble and spilling the contents of her lunch tray seemingly everywhere; of entering the Halls of Healing for a routine inoculation and being drawn to the Healing Crystals blazing with the Force in the hands of a gifted Jedi Healer, who, noticing her rapt attention, promptly made a notation in her permanent file indicating an interest in and likely proclivity towards Force healing – and of Master Yoda, watching her with a pleased, benevolent smile as she uses the Force to retrieve a favorite toy (a blue ball, just the right size for her small hands and exactly the same vivid color as her own eyes) gone astray, bouncing from the crèche out through an antechambers and into one of the main large open spaces of the Temple proper.

04.) Manage: Crèche Masters and other Jedi whose calling place them either exclusively in the crèche or else mainly in the Temple as trainers and teachers – the Jedi Carers and Tenders who specifically look after the younger Initiates; the Clan Leaders who are in charge of the various Initiate Clans and the Sept Heads who manage the specific Septs or age-groups of those Initiate Clans; and the Jedi Instructors and Pandits, as well as certain Jedi Artisans, who lead specific classes, training courses, and hands-on modules for both younglings in the crèche and Padawans who’re still in training – routinely go out of their way to offer both methods and means by which individual Initiates and Padawans can learn about and even (to an extent, at least) incorporate the cultures of the specific peoples and species from which they hail in their day-to-day activities and lives, though of course no one is ever forced to learn or to do anything in regards to such a culture if that individual finds a tradition or custom uncomfortable: Barriss thoroughly enjoys such cultural seminars (including almost all of the more generic modules that cover other near-human and humanoid cultures), though she takes it for granted that, if she eventually trains as a Jedi Knight (and eventual possible Master) instead of joining one of the branches of the Jedi Service Corps, she will eventually be taught more about Mirialan culture and spirituality when she’s taken on as an apprentice by a Mirialan Knight or Master.

05.) Path: Her personal path forward as a Jedi – whether as a Knight and possible future Master or as a member of a branch of the Jedi Service Corps – would be easier (or at least more assured) if she were only drawn towards healing or if she were only drawn to the path of Knighthood, since then she could either declare for the Medical Corps or else focus more on what would make her more likely to be chosen as a Padawan; however, she feels equally drawn towards both callings, which is somewhat problematic, given that all of the Mirialans currently in or associated with the Order are either younglings like her or else they’re members in good standing of one or another of the branches of the Jedi Service Corps or Knights or Masters of the Order, meaning that there are currently no Jedi Healers who are either Knights or Masters who are also Mirialan.

06.) Honor: When Luminara Unduli – a Mirialan Jedi Knight and a Master by courtesy (given that she is currently helping an orphaned Commenorian Padawan by the name of Suanne Tephee through what should, hopefully, be the last handful or so of years of training and preparation necessary to make her ready/able to pass the Trials of Knighthood) – approaches her, Barriss fears, at first, that she will be forced to make a decision between eventually training towards Knighthood and training as a Jedi Healer that, in her heart, she knows she cannot make and does not feel as if she should be forced into trying to make, either (she understands, logically, that, since the annihilation of the Sith and their Brotherhood of Darkness and the consequent end of the New Sith Wars, the so-called “restructuring” of the Galactic Republic and the Jedi Order by the Ruusan Reformations essentially dissolved the Jedi Army of Light and stripped the Jedi of much of their authority and power in the galaxy just when the Jedi would be most needed, out in the greater galaxy, in order to help heal the wounds of that disastrous and exhaustively extensive conflict, meaning that the pathway of Jedi Knights all but instantly became much more important than it had been even at the height of the war. That Barriss can understand it rationally, though, does not mean that she has to like the fact that, in almost thousand years since then, the prestige of being a Knight has grown so much that the pressure on Jedi Initiates to choose that particular pathway [whether it would suit them as individuals or not] has concomitantly increased, too, to the point where younglings consider themselves to be failures if they aren’t chosen as Padawans and instead end up in one of the branches of the Jedi Service Corps, such as the MedCorps, even though Jedi likely to be injured in combat logically would need trained Healers to tend to their injuries and Jedi Healers are, frankly, able to do things with the Force to help preserve life and speed healing that even the most gifted and experienced of non-Force-sensitive Healers simply cannot do); happily, though, Master Unduli indicates that, if Barriss continues to show excellent progress in her training as an Initiate and she is willing, Luminara will happily arrange for her to have further training in the healing arts with Jedi Healers if Barriss will do her the honor of one day becoming her apprentice.

07.) Attention: Although Barriss normally tends to listen to others more than she talks (except for in classes when she knows the answer to whatever the instructor happens to be asking and she’s not sensing anyone else particularly wanting to be the one to be called on to answer, of course), the Jedi Order is essentially one enormous extended family of choice made up of many, many generations of interlinking lineages of trained Force-sensitives and many more who might, one day, be given the choice to join and extend those lineages, so there actually are very, very few real (serious) secrets among its members (it’s not so much that Jedi are prone to idle chatter as it is misleading to claim that Jedi are too good – or too snobbish and self-important – to gossip when, at least most of the time, there’s simply no need for idle chatter or rumormongering when it comes to the vast majority of incidences that happen both in the Temple and during mandated missions since both any official reports and private, individual deductions and conjecture about such occurrences tend to all quickly become known by virtually everyone who’s paying even a modicum of attention to the Force – which, after all, is naturally constantly being influenced and shaped by the thoughts and actions of basically all living creatures, especially those strong in the Force, and also frequently quite deliberately being outright given strong emotions, both negative and positive, by Jedi who want to establish better control over themselves – and/or what’s going on around them in the Temple, including what individual Jedi are actually physically telling the High Council about their specific missions, when they return from them, and what those same individuals are also either gleefully spinning stories about or else quietly complaining about outside the Council Chamber) and, since scandals (or even just possible indignities or outrages) tend to spread at a speed easily comparable to that of light, especially when a Temple favorite or a favorite of Yoda and/or one of the other High Council Masters is involved, she’s well aware of (and has opinions about) Qui-Gon Jinn and his tendency to essentially blame everything on the will of the Force (often quite blatantly in order to win arguments or to get away with doing or not doing something he really shouldn’t be allowed to do or to shirk doing) long before he brings an almost ten-year-old boy by the name of Anakin Skywalker to the Temple and shocks everyone by telling the High Council that he ought to be allowed to take the youngling on as his apprentice (even though he already has a perfectly wonderful Padawan, one who, so far as Barriss can tell, most of the residents of the Temple all agree Qui-Gon Jinn does not deserve. She’s heard so many incredible stories about Obi-Wan Kenobi that, if she weren’t Mirilian, if Master Unduli hadn’t already spoken to her about becoming her Master, and if she weren’t aware of the fact that there’s at least one youngling, just enough older than her to be in the next age-group up from her, who’s made it extremely well known that he believes himself destined to one day become Obi-Wan’s Padawan, Barriss might actually be tempted to try to catch Obi-Wan’s eye, in hopes of eventually being asked to be his apprentice) because the boy’s midi-chlorian count is supposedly so high that (according to Jinn, who’s widely known, much like his former Master, Yannis Dooku, to be just a little bit too interested in Force prophecies, to the point where some claim that they’re both obsessed, to unhealthy degrees, with Jedi mystics and the records of their so-called “visions”) it must mean that he’s the Chosen One.

08.) Potential: Anakin Skywalker blazes in the Force like a star that’s somehow continually going nova – there’s no disputing this fact and Barriss honestly doesn’t see the point in even trying – but he’s simultaneously far too old for the crèche and both too untrained and too young to become the Padawan apprentice of anyone expecting to go on any active missions outside of the Temple for likely several years to come, and, from everything she’s heard, he also pretty clearly doesn’t have the right sort of temperament to become a Jedi (he’s afraid, but he not only won’t admit to it, he refuses to acknowledge his fear and even outright lies to the Council about what he’s afraid of/for and why; he’s unabashedly angry when the Council Masters try to point out that he’s not telling the truth about his fear and, worse, he behaves as though the Council Masters are the ones at fault for pointing out his lie, rather than him for his dishonesty; and he’s undeniably all too attached to the single parent he’s ever known, who has, for some reason, been left behind – in slavery, as it eventually comes out, months after the fact, when it also becomes widely known that Skywalker’s mother was left behind due to the fact that, even though Qui-Gon Jinn apparently thought nothing of gambling with the lives of others and even the potential wellbeing of an entire system’s worth of imperiled people, if it meant that he could legally take Anakin with him, even if it meant that he would have to take him as a slave, he evidently didn’t quite care enough to cheat on the bet that he made with Anakin’s owner sufficiently to include the boy’s mother in his potential winnings, along with the boy. There are many people in the Order, besides Barriss, who are quite upset, if perhaps not necessarily all that surprised, to learn about these facts, and many of them also feel sorry for the boy, though it’s difficult to maintain much empathy for someone who so clearly has a chip the size of a Hutt on his shoulder about his background – on Tatooine, a Hutt-controlled world in the Outer Rim Territories that Barriss is fairly certain she’s never even heard of, before, and which turns out to almost be far enough out to qualify as bordering on Wild Space), so she honestly doesn’t understand why it’s ever even a question whether or not Skywalker should be accepted for Jedi training (either with or without Qui-Gon Jinn), high midi-chlorian count or not and prophecies of the Chosen One or not, not when, if anything, Skywalker seems far more suited to something like the Exploration Corps.

09.) Secret: Barriss honestly can’t decide which piece of news from Naboo is more shocking and upsetting – that the Sith not only apparently survived Ruusan, somehow, but have continued to survive in secret for almost a thousand years and have not only revealed themselves now, in the process all but proving that they’ve been involved in some way with the Naboo Crisis, but have also killed a Jedi Master in the process, or that, following the death of his Master at the hands of one of those Sith, Obi-Wan Kenobi evidently not only swore that he would fulfill his Master’s dying wish and take on Anakin Skywalker as his Padawan, with or without the approval of the High Council (and, thus, the legitimacy and backing of the Jedi Order), but that he essentially told Master Yoda this (in effect essentially blackmailing the Grand Master of the entire Jedi Order into allowing him to apprentice Anakin, once he’d been acknowledged as a Jedi Knight, for having defeated and slain the Sith Lord who’d just murdered his Master) – but she knows that she’s not the only one who thinks that Knight Kenobi has gone from somehow having a Master who definitely didn’t deserve him to having a Padawan who almost certainly doesn’t deserve him, either, and she finds herself in the rather unexpected position of feeling sorry for Ferus Olin, currently one of the most popular and widely respected younglings near to her age in the crèche (even if, to be honest, she’s always felt somewhat ambivalent towards the slightly older boy. Ferus generally gives every indication of being a good sort, but everything always seems to come awfully easy for him, in a way that doesn’t feel quite right, somehow, and the way that some of the other younglings act around him – like they’d cheerfully do anything he might ever even think of asking them to do – makes her feel weirdly almost vulnerable, in a way that both bewilders her and makes her want to avoid him altogether, which makes it strange to feel sorry for him now), since a Jedi can only have one Padawan at a time and this means that (short of Anakin Skywalker somehow dying in the next two years or so, which she would never want to happen, no matter how messed up the whole situation with him and newly Knighted Obi-Wan Kenobi might be, and which seems extremely unlikely to happen, anyway, since he’s not likely to make it back out of the Temple again until he’s made a serious effort to catch up on all that he’s behind on, from having come to the Order so comparatively late in life and from almost certainly having a less than thorough education on Tatooine, even if that’s not exactly his fault) Ferus Olin can never become Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Padawan.

10.) Sense: One would think that a boy from a desert world would know better than to allow himself to be goaded into accepting a challenge involving swimming, of all absurdly unsuitable things for him to try to do, but then, Skywalker does seem to be rather more emotional than any Jedi with sense would ever allow themselves to be, so perhaps the overly emotional numpty will prove her wrong and actually manage to get his fool self killed at some point while essentially confined to the safety of the Temple and Obi-Wan Kenobi will once again be free to choose his apprentice by himself (rather than being stuck with his former Master’s choice, which is just so many different levels of wrong that it makes her want to grind her teeth down to dust for sheer frustration over the fact that Qui-Gon Jinn is dead and now she’ll never have a chance to get away with telling him to his face that he’s an arrogant, self-centered twat) and Ferus Olin will prove to have been right all along and will become Knight Kenobi’s new Padawan.

11.) Behind: Skywalker may very well be behind on essentially everything except for anything having to do with mechanics, droids, maintaining all sorts of different kinds of vessels (from basic skimmers to advanced starship fighters), and piloting in general – the stories about how he managed to accidentally destroy the Trade Federation’s Lucrehulk-class Droid Control Ship are entirely too crazy to be made up and actually makes Barriss want to like him, despite everything else (the Trade Federation did horrible things to her homeworld: as a Mirilian, she feels all but honor-bound to side with someone who’s had such an important role in thwarting their plans to do the same sort of awful things to another inhabited world and system, even if she’s starting to wonder if the High Council Masters only allowed Knight Kenobi to take Skywalker on as his Padawan learner just to keep him somewhere they could keep an eye on him and be sure that the Sith would have a hard time trying to get to him. Knight Kenobi might have killed the one Sith, but the general consensus is that there should have been two of them, meaning that the surviving Sith would have multiple reasons to be interested in a boy like Skywalker, who’s so strong in the Force, so emotional, and has the kind of traumatic background he has, especially since the Sith were so clearly involved in the Trade Federation’s plans for invading and conquering Naboo) – but it seems as though he’s a natural with a lightsaber and, much to her surprise, she finds herself enjoying the times when she’s practicing in the salles at the same time that he is, in part because it’s astonishingly fun to see how quickly he picks up many of the different formal katas meant to help students master some of the different forms of lightsaber combat and partially because he’s such a shockingly unpredictable fighter, when turned loose to spar instead of just practicing basic katas, that he seems determined to combine apparently random bits of various katas from entirely different combat forms (so it’s always interesting to see which combination of moves he attempts will or won’t actually work together, whether she’s the one who’s been tasked to spar with him or not, though some of his more disastrous efforts make her very, very glad that training ’sabers aren’t actually strong enough to do much worse than singe fabric. Sometimes, it’s even more fun – and even instructional, when some combination of moves that doesn’t seem as if it ought to work actually does – to watch than to be the one trying to match his unpredictability. They don’t really talk, much, but it doesn’t truly bother her, since she’s of the opinion that sparring partners are actually more useful when they aren’t also friends who might be tempted to hold back out of fear of hurting each other’s feelings), which tends to make sparring against him a nice challenge, even if he does tend to win a ridiculous number of bouts for someone so new to Jedi training.

12.) Fear: Her Healer training is going well – in addition to the more basic courses required of basically all Jedi Padawans, she studies under a handful of different Healers, based on who’s available when and who specializes in or knows more about what, all of them operating under the oversight of Master Healer Vokara Che, who’s already made it quite clear that she expects Barriss to one day join the Circle of Jedi Healers, which is simultaneously both a wonderful and a mildly terrifying thing to know, since the Circle is comprised of the most gifted and powerful and absolute best of all Jedi Healers – she’sfound her kyber crystal in the ice caves of Ilum and successfully built her own lightsaber, and Master Unduli is evidently so pleased with her overall progress that she’s already talking about how best to coordinate things so Barriss shouldn’t fall behind in her Healer training when they undertake her pilgrimage to Mirial (a time-honored sort of rite of passage generally undertaken around fifteen or so standard years of age), but Barriss is beginning to fear that her apparent inability to keep ahold of her new lightsaber long enough to truly master even the most basic of katas is going to end up rendering the entire issue moot and her apprenticeship with Master Unduli void when a Jedi Knight, noticing her struggles with her lightsaber in one of the smaller, less often frequented training salles, introduces himself as Tutso Mara (actually Tutsoded Bayardeth Mara, though few refer to the half Kiffar and half Chalactan Jedi by his full name, at least according to Knight Mara) and then kindly shows her the proper hand grip for her lightsaber (after which, with her permission, he physically adjusts and readjusts and keeps on readjusting her grip until Barriss finally has it down pat and her grip – evidently adequate enough for a training ’saber but not at all sufficient for the power of a real blade – is no longer throwing her off, no matter which training kata from which form of lightsaber combat she attempts), sparking a mentorship and eventual friendship that will push her to learn a Jar’Kai version of Djem So (a combat form using two lightsabers or a lightsaber – be it a single or a double blade – along with a shoto) as well as the Soresu and Shien that Master Unduli favors.

13.) Return: The traditional pilgrimage to Mirial (which is both colder and drier than the norm for most inhabitable planets/moons with Type I atmospheres and sentient populations, in ways that make the more customary sorts of Mirilian costumes, with their layers, long lengths, and head-coverings of one sort or another for essentially everyone, make all kinds of practical sense. Much of the land is either desert or tundra, with some taiga towards the far northern and the far southern tundra and some grasslands at the borders between the taiga and the deserts, much of it occasionally broken up by high plateaus and mostly extremely tall, jagged mountains. Though Mirial has technically been known to much of the greater galactic community and considered part of the Galactic Republic’s Outer Rim Territories for approximately four thousand years, when the Trade Federation “rediscovered” it some two hundred years ago, in one of the Great Reunification’s last pushes to supposedly “reconnect” with and discover more about the Outer Rim and Wild Space, its greedy representatives pillaged the entire system of much of its natural resources, often using crude, cheap strip mining techniques to get at precious ores and carelessly discarding slag and poisonous wastes without bothering to treat any of it, to the point where the planet is still recovering from all of the habitat destruction and environmental contamination. Truthfully, Barriss finds Mirial rather sad and, afterwards, is not entirely sure that she’s felt a real connection with either the planet or its people, even after all of her cultural studies and even though she truly does respect the traditional Mirial view of the Force and their widespread belief that each individual’s actions contribute not only to that specific person’s destiny, building on both past successes and failures to ultimately drive those beings towards their fates, but that such actions also ripple throughout the Force, affecting the destinies of not just the individuals directly involved but of whole peoples and, at least potentially, in some cases, even species all across the galaxy, which, to her, seems like a somewhat simplified version of the Jedi understanding of the Cosmic Force) goes well enough, but she’s both more tired and more glad than she’s expected to be, when they finally return to the Temple.

14.) Master: Luminara Unduli is, in many ways, a wonderful Jedi Master – she’s very grounded and steady, a formidable fighter who’s also a highly respected diplomat often called upon to act as an advisor to several high-profile system and planetary leaders and politicians, many of them in the Galactic Senate, meaning that she’s well-suited to understand the needs of an apprentice who’s drawn to what, to outsiders, might seem very opposing ways of being a Jedi – but she’s also downright tricky, sometimes (Barriss isn’t entirely sure she’s ever going to completely live down the fiasco of trying to force herself to master Floating Meditation in the space of a single afternoon, so she could rise high enough to accurately count the number of pastries in a bakery’s window across the way, when, at any time, she could’ve simply stood up on the balcony Master Unduli had brought her to in order to see them), often in ways that seem embarrassingly obvious after the fact and remind Barriss almost painfully of Master Yoda’s particular brand of teaching by trickery in order to fully and memorably drive a point home, and, though she’s increasingly sure that she wouldn’t ever want any other Master, sometimes Barriss can’t help but wish that her Master would spend just a little less time being cleverly oblique and a great deal more time just straight out telling her whatever lessons she’s trying to teach her, if only so she wouldn’t feel as if she’s wasting so much time failing to immediately grasp whatever moral or object lesson has been so cunningly hidden in or only hinted at sideways by whatever random task or strange, rambling story Master Unduli has decided to indulge in using to teach her by first tripping her up or otherwise tricking her.

15.) Hair: It takes multiple cups (and pots) of nice, calming teas and more than a few cups (and pots . . . and jugs) of tea bracing enough to (as Knight Suanne Tephee [“Suanne, please! Really, just Suanne is fine. You’ll make me feel old, otherwise, Barriss!”] would jokingly phrase it) put hair on one’s chest, but eventually, with some help from her not quite older sister in lineage (but not quite not, and so they all basically act as if she is, including Knight Suanne, on the rare times she’s in the Temple and not so exhausted or so injured, following a mission, that she’s stuck either in her rooms all the time or else in the Halls of Healing and so not up to visiting) and, shockingly enough, some really useful tips from Skywalker (who very nearly physically trips over her in the Room of a Thousand Fountains one day and ends up earnestly explaining that she’s focusing on the wrong bit of the exercise – the meditation part, not the floating, which, as Knight Kenobi has explained it to Skywalker, basically translates to a kind of very personalized field of antigravity – and that she should be thinking of it less as something mental or spiritual and more as something that can be physically done with the Force, closer to telekinesis than to actual meditation and strong enough, in an emergency, to help either save a Jedi who’s falling from a dangerous height or else to rescue someone else falling or about to fall from a potentially lethal height); much to her satisfaction, though, she does eventually manage to properly learn (if perhaps not to completely master, as she’s eventually capable of using it to keep herself from a bad end, after flinging herself – under Master Unduli’s watchful eyes, of course – multiple times out of various windows and off of several balconies in the Temple Council Towers, but isn’t entirely sure she’d be able to use it on someone else in a true emergency) Floating Meditation.

16.) Information: It’s next to impossible to truly keep secrets in the Jedi Temple – in terms of knowledge for training, information can be restricted to things like Jedi Holocrons, datachips, info crystals, and even old-fashioned books that are themselves regulated, so that only certain kinds of individuals can access them, but in terms of what happens in the Temple or what is spoken of in the Temple, well, it’s difficult to all but impossible to keep things a secret from individuals strong enough in the Force to not only regularly use it to help augment their senses and abilities but to be able to sense things (such as the thoughts and emotions of others) through their connection to the Force – which is why (even if impossible and improbable aren’t quite synonyms) it’s so weird that no one seems to really be talking much, afterwards, about the disastrous mission to Korriban, to apprehend dangerous criminals Jenna Zan Arbor and Granta Omega, even though four Masters and their Padawans were sent there but only the Masters and three of the Padawans returned alive . . . at least not until after Ferus Olin has been dismissed from the Order for intentionally manipulating the minds and wills of Jedi (from Masters all the way down to Initiates, apparently) and not only purposely causing a mechanical defect in the lightsaber of a fellow Padawan (Tru Veld, a fertile unfixed hermaphroditic metamorph Teevan – meaning that Tru can and often does phase from male to female and back again, basically at will – who’s apprenticed to Jedi Shadow Master Ouwain-Kli Ry-Gaul. Barriss isn’t much more than vaguely familiar with either one, since Jedi Shadows tend to keep to themselves and Veld’s nature has all but guaranteed that the Teevan would become a Shadow since the moment Veld first came to the Temple) that would directly lead to the death of another Padawan (the apprentice of Master Soara Antana, Darra Thel-Tanis, who apparently threw herself in the pathway of a deadly blaster shot, even though Tru almost certainly could have survived being struck by it, given the ridiculously rapid rate of regeneration Teevans are [in]famous for. Barriss is a little more familiar with Thel-Tanis, but can’t imagine why she’d ever do something so foolish, which makes her wonder, a little sickly, just how much influence Olin might have had over her, at the time), but attempting to conceal his actions by deliberately, maliciously shifting the blame for the lightsaber’s failure at the critical moment to yet another Padawan (Anakin Skywalker, whose Master evidently had to all but break down the doors of the Jedi High Council Chamber – and is rumored to have called on the Force in a way that somehow instantly shattered all of Ferus Olin’s manipulations – to save his apprentice from being wrongfully accused of negligence and being at cause for Darra Thel-Tanis’ death, which likely would’ve resulted in Skywalker being unjustly cast out of the Order), and then she’s left at least halfway wishing that the relative silence about the mission had never been broken, even though she knows, logically, that nothing good could have come of keeping Ferus Olin’s perfidy (which apparently even extended to his own Master, Siri Tachi, who’s such a wreck, afterwards, that the Council orders her on a five-month spiritual retreat, to recover) a secret.

17.) Help: It’s not exactly fair to feel wary of Skywalker, after the mess on Korriban and Ferus Olin’s banishment from the Order – Barriss knows that, even if it only serves to make her feel frustrated with herself for being overly cautious and even less inclined towards thinking all that kindly of (must less trusting) him – but she’s still not completely sure that having Skywalker on Ansion is going to be all that much help with the mission (even if it means that Obi-Wan Kenobi will also be with them) until after she’s been knocked off of her suubatar into Torosogt River, Skywalker’s immediately leapt into the water to try to save her, and they’ve both managed to survive their dunkings none the worse for wear (at which point she starts to think that it might actually be possible for them to become good friends, if only Skywalker will prove to be even halfway as willing to open up and speak honestly with her as he has been to fling himself – however wholly unnecessarily, if undeniably gallantly – headlong into danger on her behalf).

18.) Horror: Geonosis is . . . unspeakably terrible, so much needless death and suffering (and for what? For the pride and satisfaction of a former Jedi like Yannis Dooku, who deserted the Order after the murder of his former apprentice, Qui-Gon Jinn, during the Naboo Crisis? The traitor is essentially endorsing those responsible for the situation that allowed his former Padawan to be cornered and slaughtered by the Sith! If not for the greed of the Trade Federation, Master Jinn would [probably] still be alive, for pity’s sake!) that she’s quite certain that she’s going to have nightmares about it for the rest of her life . . . though the news, shortly afterwards, that the battle is only going to be the beginning and that the Republic is now officially at war with the self-declared Separatists is so awful that it very nearly eclipses even the horror of Geonosis.

19.) Fire: It’s not very Jedi-like of her, but after the third time that she essentially almost dies because of Geonosis and the second time that she’s only survived because of Ahsoka Tano’s ingenuity (and sheer stubborn refusal to ever give up) and just the absolute horror of one of those times involve parasitical brain worms that burrow into a host and essentially turn said host into a mindless zombie at the control of either the worms or the Geonosian Queen, Barriss believes that she should be forgiven for feeling as though they should just gather every ship they can get their hands on and have them all open fire on that entire blasted world from high orbit until there’s not a single living thing left alive on the entire accursed planet and it’s all reduced down to slag!

20.) Fortune: She honestly doesn’t expect to like Ahsoka Tano as much as she does – the young Togruta is almost painfully brash; she has no concept whatsoever of subtly; she’s so blasted busy rushing headlong into everything that she wouldn’t recognize the concept of strategic thinking if it became embodied and bypassed her two side lekku to deliberately bite her on her rear head-tail; and she quite clearly feels no loyalty whatsoever to her original Master, Togruta Jedi Master Yrannia Tey, since she’s thrilled when the idiots in the galactic press start calling her the Golden Child of the Golden Team (though, to be fair, as Barriss eventually finds out, there’s a very good reason for that. Xenophobia to the point where one believes that only a potential apprentice of the same species as one own self is not a good reason for taking on a Padawan, no matter what Master Tey might believe. Meanwhile, Master Kenobi and Knight Skywalker would literally give their lives for Ahsoka’s and she would do the same for either one of them in a heartbeat, so obviously she knows how to be faithful and she’s just as patently chosen the correct Jedi to give her devotion and allegiance to): on the other hand, she’s one of the most constant and reliable Jedi (if also easily one of the most stubborn, which is saying something, given she’s essentially been apprenticed by the Golden Team while her so-called “real” Master recovers from all of the damage she took at the First Battle of Geonosis. Master Unduli is right: those three Jedi truly do deserve one another, no matter what anyone else might seem to think on the subject, and they would all do anything and everything in their power to keep each other safe, just as they’d do all that they could to help a friend in need, as Barriss herself has had reason to learn, Ahsoka having saved her on more than one occasion that otherwise likely would’ve been hopeless) Barriss has ever had the good fortune to meet – but she trusts her to a degree that, rationally speaking, likely should be frightening, and faith, like friendship, is something that is not easily won, in these dark days of war, so Barriss fully intends to keep that trust and so remain worthy of their resultant friendship, however unexpected it might’ve initially been and however occasionally frustrating it might occasionally be.

21.) Fall: Umbara is such a complete horror show and Barriss is just so messed up from it (not only because of Jedi Master and General Pong Krell’s treachery and fall to the Dark Side, but because she can’t help but realize how much worse it could have so easily been, if Commander Rex had simply obeyed orders from Krell and hadn’t had the courage to contact Master Kenobi and, thus, discovered General Krell’s duplicity before he could deliberately pit unwitting clones from the 501st against clones of the 212th Attack Battalion. Krell still lost far too many men and slaughtered still more, when he was revealed as a traitor, but things came so appallingly close to being so much worse that Barriss feels sick whenever she thinks about it) that, afterwards, she barely even knows what she’s doing, much less what anyone else is saying or doing around her; that’s really no excuse for taking so long to realize that Letta Turmond (the wife of an Abyssin Temple worker and a self-professed pacifist who keeps trying to strike up a conversation with Barriss about why the Jedi aren’t doing more to end the war and how Barriss could be doing more to help stop the fighting) is a liar or just how conniving, hypocritical, and homicidal she actually is, though at least Barriss and Ahsoka manage to contain most of the explosions from the nano-droid bombs, even if they do kill both Turmond and her seemingly unwitting dupe of a husband and inflict enough damage on that specific Temple hangar both to injure a few dozen nearby Temple workers, clones, and even Jedi and to kill more than a handful of other innocent bystanders (though, thankfully, no Jedi die as a result of the only mostly thwarted bombing, or else Barriss honestly doesn’t know how she’d ever be able to live with herself, afterwards).

22.) Demand: It is not just and it is not right that the Jedi High Council should essentially punish Ahsoka for her efforts to help Barriss fix the mess that her distraction and failure to see what was directly in front of her nose so very nearly caused and, in some measure, did still cause, even with the both of them doing their utmost to try to either keep the explosions contained or else to channel them somewhere that they couldn’t cause any (measurable, irrevocable) harm – Yrannia Tey has no right to demand that Ahsoka be given back to her as if she were nothing more than a thing the Togruta felt she owned, as if she were a child throwing a tantrum because someone else has been playing with one of her toys while she’s been indisposed! Ahsoka may have said that she will go back to her old Master and Knight Skywalker and Master Kenobi may have allowed her to make that choice, but anyone who knows anything about any of the three Jedi involved in the decision must know that they have only done so because all of them are unwilling to be the cause for the High Council has a reason to issue the kind of formal censure and reprimand that would just end with all three of them being ordered apart from each other – and Barriss feels so betrayed by Yoda and the majority of the other High Council Masters (nine of whom have, like the Grand Master, backed Master Tey’s demand that her apprentice be returned to her) that, for a few moments, she almost wishes that she could just be selfish enough to simply turn her back and leave the Order that is so clearly failing three of the absolute best of its members behind.

23.) Bribe: Knighting Barriss so soon after Ahsoka has been ordered away from her true Masters and back to Yrannia Tey feels awfully like a bribe for not raising a fuss about such a perfidious act; Master Unduli insists that she deserves it (that what Barriss still has to learn of the Force can only be learned by taking on the duties and responsibilities of a Knight who might, one day, be both able and willing to take on an apprentice of her own), though, and, when Knight Skywalker and Master Kenobi (who know about it because Master Kenobi is a member of the High Council and apparently voted in favor of her being Knighted) take the time to comm and congratulate her on her Knighting, Anakin earnestly adds that, if she were able, Ahsoka would absolutely be the first in line to tell her that she deserves it, so, after most of a day and a night of quiet reflection, Barriss decides that she’ll allow herself to accept the honor, even though (in her heart of hearts) she’s still not entirely sure that she deserves it or that she even truly wants it, any longer.

24.) Chaos: Drongar somehow seems to evoke all the chaos and all the energy of the Living Force all concentrated into one bizarre planet of adaptogenic, mutagenic insanity and, if not for the bota fields (which both sides covet for its miraculous medical properties, though there are other forces at work – criminal cartels – who’d gladly steal the bota out from under them both if they could. No one has actually come out and said so, but she’s fairly certain that part of the reason why she’s been assigned here, to Republic Mobile Surgical Unit 7, is because someone in a position of power here is highly suspected to be working with one of those cartels and the High Council would prefer, if possible, to put an end to such nonsense without having to involve any military tribunals. Given what Tarkin almost managed to do to her and Ahsoka – which was only stopped because of the support that Master Kenobi and Knight Skywalker and, by extension, Ahsoka have in the Senate, not because of anything that the Council Masters did or said – she finds it almost painfully ironic that the Council has chosen to send her, rather than someone else, more likely to still feel strong bonds of trust and loyalty to the High Council), Barriss honestly isn’t sure that anyone would find the myriad (and often changing, usually for the worse) risks involved with trying to establish a military presence there at all worth it, particularly given the fact that almost everything else on Drongar except the bota seems designed to make trying to live on Drongar in any kind of safety as dangerous and close to impossible as is at all possible.

25.) Wrong: It is an injustice so great and so unequivocally wrong that a vicious, sadistic thug like Phow Ji should be reported as a hero, when he’s been caught on cam outright murdering Salissian mercenaries employed by the CIS who’ve already surrendered and has essentially deliberately suicided by Separatist drop ship and thermal grenade in order to escape the so-called dishonor of having to live with the knowledge that he not only owes his life to a Jedi Healer like Barriss, but that he owes his life to her specifically because she’s used the Force – which he’s always loudly claimed does not exist – in order to heal him, that she’s not at all surprised that Den Dhur (the Sullustan reporter who’d written an exposé about the Bundukian mercenary and Teräs Käsi champions murderous ways) ultimately refused to have his name on the story at all, after his editor essentially changed everything in it, with the excuse that the Republic needs more stories about heroes during such turbulent times (and not, apparently, hard-hitting exposés about war crimes being perpetrated by mercenaries on the Republic’s payroll).

26.) Amateur: Healer and specialist surgeon Kornell Divini of Tatooine – Uli Divini, as he smilingly insists on being called – is both younger than Barriss has expected (she knows that Jos Vondar, the Chief Medical Officer and another Healer who’s specialized in surgeries of all sorts on multiple kinds of sentient beings, likes to complain that Healer Divini looks as if he’s about fourteen, but that’s clearly an exaggeration – or even a complaint – and not to be taken seriously. She’s been expecting someone in his early- or even mid-twenties, given the sort of education and training he must’ve had, to be stationed on a Rimsoo, but “Uli” looks like he’s very close to her own age, meaning he’s almost certainly not even twenty standard years of age yet. He reminds her of Anakin Skywalker, in a way, and not just because of his accent or his fair hair and blue eyes, though his skills as a surgeon, however phenomenal, can’t quite compare with Skywalker’s prodigious strength in the Force), and kinder than she quite knows what to do with, particularly when he somehow charms her into letting him see to an injury she’s accidentally inflicted on her right foot that she could have dealt with entirely by herself, with the Force, explains that he’s out in the swamps of Drongar in the first place (after she challenges him about being in the swamp) because his mother (renowned mudopterist Elana Divini, as Barriss eventually realizes) collects Alderaanian flare-wings and he’s interested in seeing what sort of comparable insects might call Drongar’s jungles home, smiles in a way that makes her realize that, once he’s old enough to have laugh lines, he’s going to be stunningly handsome (though why such a thing should ever even occur to her – why she should be looking at the young man closely enough to ever realize something like that – completely escapes her ability to understand), and leaves her so unbalanced that she feels even more like a rank amateur pretending to be something/someone she’s not than she had when, only moments before, she’d somehow managed to let herself be startled enough by an unexpected, brief but strong shift in temperature to lose control in the midst of a routine kata to the point of hurting herself with her own lightsaber (even though she hasn’t fumbled her lightsaber badly enough to injure herself since she’d been nine, and then it had only been a small nick to her left wrist, far less serious than the puncturing gash she’d inflicted on her poor foot).

27.) Precious: Bota is known to act as a potent broad-based antibiotic on humans and to have similar effects on several kinds of near-humans, as well, and the clones, being based on the genetic profile of Jango Fett (a registered genetic [if borderline] human norm Mandalorian originally from Concord Dawn, according to the Bounty Hunters’ Guild, which keeps track of such things), qualify as human norms (for the most part, anyway, though the few truly obvious aberrations tend to number among those the Kaminoan cloners categorize as genetic deviants only worth decommissioning, so they often end up – occasionally after being literally rescued by Master Shaak Ti or another Jedi stationed on Kamino if Master Ti cannot be there, even though Knight Kenobi demanded that all such decommissionings stop when he “accepted” the clones from the Kaminoans and every Jedi on Kamino since then who’s been there long enough to speak to any of the Kaminoans about the progress of the clones still in training has reiterated this order – in support positions in the Temple, rather than in the fighting forces of the GAR), which is almost certainly why Zabrak Healer and specialist surgeon Zan Yant had gone to the trouble (prior to his tragic death, during a Separatist attack on the Rimsoo) to seek out patches of bota growing wild and to (illegally) process it (bota being so prized that all of it is supposed to be shipped offworld, for sale, the harvested and stabilized/processed bota being considered too valuable to “waste” on mere soldiers) and put the results in muscle-poppers in the first place, which is why (after Jos Vondar admits what he’s found, when gathering up and clearing out his friend’s belongings from their shared quarters, and they take the risk of trying it – to miraculous effect – on a dying clone soldier) Barriss thinks of attempting to use one of the precious few bota poppers on a Rodian lieutenant with chronic smashbone fever, in hopes it will help (she’s already decided that, if Healer Yant could be brave enough to find and illegally process wild bota, so he would have some on hand to use on the worst cases in the medical wards, then she can and must do the same. Bota grows wild in many places in and around the swamps and jungles. There will be more poppers, if this one is ineffective. It won’t be a waste to try it, and it could very well help with a disease that, as yet, has no cure), and why, when caught by surprise by a particularly strong muscle spasm, she ends up accidentally injecting herself with some of the bota.

28.) Unique: Bota, like basically all known lifeforms native specifically to Drongar, is naturally both adaptogenic and mutagenic and always has been, at least to some extent – though it’s not (yet) been proven so, logically speaking, it’s adaptogenic properties likely have a great deal to do with the fact that bota has different kinds of effects on and medical uses for so many different species and no known negative side effects to any of those species, even though they use it for such wildly different reasons (from narcotic painkillers to powerful stimulants to broad-based antibiotics) – so it probably shouldn’t be so surprising that the plants (which technically aren’t exactly plants, being instead a unique type of lifeform somewhere between a mold and a fungus. Since no one has yet bothered to try to formally classify what bota exactly is, yet – it being more important to protect it and harvest it so that it can be dispensed or tested further on new/different species – most beings refer to bota as a plant, anyway, for simplicity’s sake) are mutating (and apparently have been for some time, though someone with deep pockets – most likely hoping to profit from the information somehow – has apparently been going to great lengths to try to keep this fact from getting out) towards the likelihood that bota might, one day all too soon, become, for all extents and purposes, inert and therefore useless (and worthless) as any sort of drug; given the reactions Barriss has had both to her unintended injection and the injection she’s deliberately given herself, to see if it would replicate the effects of her accidental dose, though, the fact that they could lose bota before ever discovering what it could mean, to Forceful individuals like the Jedi, it means that she has to contact the Council of Reassignment and, thus, the Circle of Jedi Healers and the MedCorps, as well as the High Council, at once, so that the Masters will know what bota can do to strengthen/deepen one’s connection with the Force in time to try to do something to save it.

29.) Communiqué: She is, in all honesty, shocked to see Master Kenobi (he isn’t a Healer, after all, though he is known for being an excellent emergency battlefield medic and it is, thanks to the war, increasingly becoming obvious that he’s among one of a handful of the most powerful Jedi currently in the entire Order. He explains, only a little sardonically, that he has contacts with the AgriCorps and, since the hope is that a fixed or stabilized version of the most potent remaining extant strain of bota [which, hopefully, will be unlikely to ever mutate to an ineffective form] can be successfully transplanted to at least a few suitable planets/moons known only to members of the High Council and a few high-ranking [and/or sworn to secrecy members] of the ExplorCorps and then raised and harvested by highly gifted and thoroughly vetted AgriCorps members for processing by the MedCorps and use by them and Jedi Healers, he’s here at the request of both the Council of Reassignment and the rest of the High Council), among the various Jedi Healers and Jedi Service Corps members who’ve stealthily responded to her communiqué (she’s even more astonished to see him without Knight Skywalker at his side, though the explanation that a majority of the High Council has decided that his friendship with Chancellor Palpatine – who, after all, is responsible for the policy that forbids the Healers on Drongar from using bota on their patients – makes him too much of a security risk to know about what they’re trying to do here); ultimately, though, Barriss ends up being extremely glad that he’s come, as she’s almost certain that they wouldn’t have succeeded in their aims without Master Kenobi’s raw strength in the Force and his startling ability to persuade the bota to grow in a way that should make it much hardier (and, thus, more likely to survive being transplanted) and perhaps even more potent, in the long run, since its nature should now be prone to adapt only to make it harder to kill and not to keep wildly mutating until it share so few similarities with what it is now that it will no longer be effective as a drug.

30.) Traitor: To keep their actions (which are illegal according to the Chancellor’s policies and Republic law, though she would argue that it is the laws that are immoral, not the actions of the Jedi, especially not once she learns that the hope is that the transplanted bota will thrive so much that the MedCorps will be able to experiment a little and perhaps come up with a bacta-bota mix that can surreptitiously be added to every Jedi’s standard field pack and be regularly provided in bulk to clone medics and other such doctors and healers in the field, with the explanation that it’s an experimental Force-enhanced strain of extremely effective bacta, for emergency use. Bacta technically is also legally restricted – Chancellor Palpatine has, over the course of the war, quite foolishly limited its production even further than it used to be, instead of expanding it so that the GAR will be guaranteed more than enough supply, supposedly to make it harder for Separatists to get their hands on any of it – but it’s always been something of an open secret [among Jedi, in any case. It’s not their fault if the politicians and the corporations have forgotten!] that, because of their Service Corps, the Jedi can and do produce their own bacta, and frankly Barriss regards the decision to secretly try to save and transplant an effective strain bota as an extension of the same policy that’s seen the AgriCorps and the MedCorps producing bacta for Jedi use for the past four thousand years or so), a secret, she must act as if she’s dismayed when the secret comes out, about the bota mutating to uselessness and the order comes that the Republic is abandoning Drongar; she doesn’t expect another traitor (Eqani Minder Klo Merit, of all beings! The loss of his homeworld has evidently driven him mad – after all, the Jedi have no records of a Republic weapons test, such as he claimed destroyed Eqanus, and they would surely know, if it were true – as well as driving him to betray the Republic to the CIS) to be exposed and shot by Jos Vondar in the chaos of the Separatist attack that very nearly derails the Republic retreat, though!

31.) Two: Barriss knows that the High Council have been assigning both orphaned Padawans and Padawans whose individual Masters have been injured to the point where they can no longer adequately do their duty by their apprentices and continue see to their training to other available Knights and Masters without waiting to see if anyone will volunteer for such a responsibility or even bothering to ask, first, if anyone has a particular preference – she’s friends with Ahsoka Tano, so she cannot help but know how Master Yoda persuaded (most) of the rest of the High Council to assign Ahsoka to Knight Skywalker and Master Kenobi – but she’s barely been a Jedi Knight for two standard months, so the absolute last thing she’s expecting, when she returns to the Temple after Drongar, is to be summoned to the High Council Chamber and informed that she’s doing such an excellent job that the Council Masters are assigning her Selonian Padawan Zonder – whose Master, Armann Asantuen, one of the two dozen Corellian or Green Jedi who decided to fight with the Republic, even after Senator Garm Bel Iblis invoked Contemplanys Hermi and the entire sector technically closed its borders, back when the war was just beginning, is currently missing in action – until either Zonder’s Master can be found or else definitive proof the man’s demise is discovered.

32.) Awkward: She and Zonder are doing their utmost to try to make the best they can out of a truly awkward situation (though neither one of them is really all that comfortable with the High Council assigning them to one another. Zonder insists that his bond with his Master is unbroken, meaning the man is alive [a fact that she likely finds entirely too reassuring, given the likelihood that the High Council will just assign someone else to her if Zonder’s Master turns up and is able to take Zonder back on again], and that he should be out there looking for him, which Barriss can understand, even if she doesn’t quite agree with him. There are Jedi Shadows who are looking for Master Asantuen, after all, and Shadows are far more suited for such work than any Padawan could hope to be) and she’s tentatively beginning to think that they might be starting to find a rhythm together that works when the Separatists suddenly invade Coruscant, General Grievous kidnaps Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, and things proceed to pretty much try to go to the lowest levels of Sith hells in a bloody handbasket.

33.) Attack: They were supposed to be dispatched to Felucia, but the unexpected invasion of Coruscant and all of the chaos surrounding that derailed those orders long enough for Master Kenobi and Knight Skywalker both to discover that Palpatine, the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic, is actually the mysterious second Sith Lord (Sidious, according to what little they’ve been able to uncover, since the Naboo Crisis) and has quite deliberately been playing both sides of the war all along and to then confront and defeat (and, in the process, dispatch) him, after which there was the attempted attack on the Temple to deal with (because, apparently, the clones all had biochip implants in their brains that could be triggered to force them to follow certain commands and the cowardly, traitorous Sith attempted to trigger Order 66 – labelling all Jedi traitors to the Republic and calling for their immediate execution – when confronted by Kenobi and Skywalker), and then, well . . . the war may essentially be over with, but Barriss is a Healer, so she’s going to be needed to help deal with both the problem of those Sith accursed biochips and the fact that the Kaminoans so cruelly designed the clones to age at twice the speed of average human norms, so no one can possibly ever highjack the free will of any of the clones ever again and the clones can hopefully still have long and productive lives as free citizens of whatever it is that the Republic is reorganizing itself to become, now that the Sith have been exposed and dealt with and their plans have also been exposed and ruined.

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ahsokatanos-lightsabertechnique · 1 year

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About Obi-Wan's relationship with the Jedi Order (and how it did, and didn't, fail him)

The order gets a lot of crap from the fandom about how they take children from their families and raise them to have no attachments and adhere to the Jedi code. Are there some problems there? Yes. But! Do they kidnap the children? No. They get consent from the parents and take the force-sensitive children somewhere safe, where their otherness will not result in attacks or them being kidnapped and sold into slavery (sadly a prevalent practice). They raised their younglings like their own, and while Jedi were not physically or conventionally affectionate they made sure that the children were kindly brought up and cared for. Nothing is more precious to the Jedi order than their younglings, and in their particular way they gave them plenty of love. The Jedi are big on found family and have a habit of befriending everything that moves (even if it’s trying to kill them, in many cases). A byproduct of feeling life and the emotions of that life all around them is extremely deep compassion and empathy. Without proper self control, this could mean compassion to a fault. To creatures as powerful and sensitive as the Jedi, unchecked protectiveness and caring for someone can lead to fear, paranoia, and aggressive behavior. This “dark side” is really being pulled out of control by one’s emotions. For many force-sensitive sentients, the Jedi Code, and the Order that provided it, were the difference between life and something worse than death. Their way of showing love and affection was a non-physical thing, and left unspoken. Should it have been voiced more? Probably, yes. But it was undoubtably there. I think Ahsoka mentions something to this effect in E.K. Johnston's Ahsoka.

This pertains to Obi-wan because he grew up in the rigid framework of the Jedi code. He was loved very much, by his creche-masters and Qui-gon as well. Obi-wan was easily one of the most talented and powerful Jedi of his time. He was known to be pretty all over the place as a child, and who knows if he would have survived without the Code and the Order. The code encourages compassion without the kind of love that involves being attached. All of this means that the strictness of the Jedi teachings are really in place to protect the Jedi and those around them from the pain of them losing control of their considerable power. When loss of control means becoming a murderous, unstable super-powered Sith, the stability provided by the Code and the Order were in many ways necessary.

Towards the end of the Old Republic (right before the empire) the Jedi Order had become weak. This is where the anti-Jedi arguments in the fandom absolutely have, to an extent, a point. The Jedi Council, and by extension the Order, had become too limited by and tangled in the corruption and bureaucracy of the Galactic Senate. As the galaxy’s government spun slowly out of control, they dragged the Jedi, their peacekeepers, with them in a way. The Jedi became more strict. Many say that Obi-wan’s mental health was not considered by the council after his master’s death, since he was left alone to care for a child he was not prepared for. But how much do we know about that? We have no canon proof of that (although I could be wrong about that, if there's any canon material that says otherwise please correct me, I'd genuinely love to hear about it). We don’t know how much his mental health was addressed. (okay. Don’t get me started on Anakin. The council really fucked up there.) The Jedi have nothing against talking about their feelings if it helps them retain control over them. (Again, while I absolutely agree that extreme emotional control isn’t fantastic for mental health, in this specific case there is a very good reason for it [mainly preventing mass homicide]). However! Here’s the big thing! Obi-wan could have left. He didn’t leave because of Anakin, and his promise to Qui-gon. The Jedi were his family, and he wanted to fulfill what he viewed as his obligation to them. The toll the clone wars took on the Jedi was entirely the Council’s fault for participating in the war. The Jedi are peacekeepers, and fighting in wars is not peaceful. That’s a whole other text novel. But again: Anakin grew up. Obi-wan could have left. No hard feelings. The Jedi do not hold grudges. They would have been sad to see him go, they would have tried to convince him to stay, but they would not have stopped him. The Council failed him and Anakin, but I really blame Qui-gon for dragging Anakin into the whole thing, and for binding Obi-wan to him with a promise that he knew his Padawan would die before breaking. In conclusion, the events of raising Anakin and the subsequent Clone Wars are big reasons for Obi-wan to leave in the name of mental health. The council is the only part of the order responsible for this (which Obi-wan was actually part of himself towards the end). The Jedi are not. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

edit: Just to be clear, I'm not saying how the jedi order operates in regards to their younglings/padawans/members is entirely healthy and good. I'm just saying it isn't entirely bad either. I think it's a complicated issue that I honestly really enjoy trying to untangle.

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anchanted-one · 1 year

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Legend of Lightning Chapter 103. Allies

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43208574/chapters/119772949

Vajra looked up weakly. He said nothing, his eyes broadcast utter defeat.

“Do you remember who I am?”

“Scourge.” His voice was so small!

“I couldn’t quite hear you. My name. Say it.”

“Scourge. The Emperor’s Wrath.”

“I’m glad you remember me. Do you also remember what I told you at our first meeting?”

He had to think for a little while. “You said we were going to be allies one day.” He shuddered. “Did you enjoy your little laugh? Did you enjoy knowing that I was going to be… that thing? I suppose our ‘alliance’ is over then. Please… just kill me. It’s better than taking me back to him.”

“That would leave your friend alone and defenseless. You’re willing to let her die?”

That got a startling reaction. A thousand terajoules of life flooded into Vajra, and he took a defensive stance in front of Jasme.

“Admirable. Unnecessary. To answer your questions; no. I did not enjoy seeing you in your wretched state. No, I never knew the fate you would suffer. Nor did I enjoy it. Indeed, each day was a trial for me. And finally, our alliance isn’t ‘over,’ it is beginning.”

Vajra looked at him suspiciously.

“In case you forgot, I never specifically said you’d be a Sith, merely my ally. I have a task, and you are the only one who can help me do it. Three centuries ago, I aided Revan in an attempt to overthrow the Emperor. But there, right before we entered the Throne Room, I realized that Revan didn’t have it in him. I had a Vision, where one Jedi with four arms was all that stood between the life and death of every star in the Galaxy. My Vision also foretold that he needed me to help him achieve his destiny. I am to be one stepping stone on your journey. It’s a bitter truth, but something I’ve come to terms with. For only you can stop what is to come.”

#star wars #swtor #fanfic #fanfiction #jedi #knight #jedi knight #hero of tython #imperial agent #cipher nine #sith warrior #emperor's wrath #empire's wrath #satele shan #kira carsen #scourge #lord scourge #jasme shan #theron's twin

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sweetrevxnge · 2 years

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Like Phantoms, Forever

Chapter Fifteen | In The Face of Evil

Pairing: Ben Solo x Reader

What to expect: fluff, violence, sexual content, general angst, mentions/descriptions of injury and death

Additional info: this story is set in 28 ABY, six years prior to the events of TFA

*concurrently being published on AO3 and Wattpad as well!

Masterlist

Spotify Playlist

Word count: 5.9k

Chapter-specific CW: description of injury, violence, blood, abduction, implied domestic abuse, death

A/N: this. chapter. was. a. BEAST, but I'm so proud of it. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (even tho it had me questioning my sanity at times). also, in true george lucas fashion, I went back to ch. 1 and changed some of the details about Ben's introduction, but it was nothing major. anyways... cellphones on silent and shut your fckn mouths, the show is about to begin.

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If you had any weaker of a stomach, you would have vomited all over the Admiral’s polished black boots. But, in a stroke of luck, or perhaps due to the sheer emptiness of your stomach, you didn’t.

You were delirious, you decided. After everything you had gone through in the past day, you were hallucinating a false reality. But as you tried to blink away the image in front of you, it remained solid, too detailed to be an illusion.

Dressed in a high-collared, gray uniform stood your father, a shadow of the man you had known your entire life. The man who had raised you alongside your mother, the man you should have known everything about. He had always kept his past close to his chest, as well as his family at an arm’s length, omitting the details of his early life when the topic would arise. To someone who didn’t know anything different, he shared everything that a loving parent should share with their child. Come to find out, that had not been the case.

Although you struggled to comprehend what was happening, you immediately thought of his business. Distributing crops to buyers in all corners of the galaxy was the perfect cover, in a way. A former Imperial captain disguised as a simple, Dantooinian farmer who made frequent business trips off-world, owing no explanation to his wife and child.

At the realization, you thought of her. Your mother. What did she know of this? Did she even know? The meek woman you knew would never willfully marry an Imperial loyalist—let alone be involved with such an organization. You could hardly stomach the idea of her being aware of this deception.

A million questions crossed your mind in the span of a single second, none of which could be easily answered. Regardless, the likelihood of you surviving to even be able to ask her such questions was becoming more slim with every second that passed.

“Captain, I usually trust your judgment without a hint of doubt, but was this really the best option available to us?” Admiral Sloane asked your father, her skepticism evident in her tone. “Why not the Skywalker boy?”

Though indirect, the mere mention of Ben made acid rise in your throat. In your chemically-included sleep, what had become of him? Of all of your classmates, for that matter. All you could hope for was that he was sleeping soundly in his bed, unharmed and untroubled by his usual insomnia. It was all you could ever wish for him.

“It couldn’t have been him. He’s far too indoctrinated in the Jedi’s teachings to be compliant,” your father answered as he slowly moved forward.

Relief washed over you like a crashing wave, melting away your fear. Ben was safe—for now, at least.

“The same could have been said for Lord Vader, sir,” the Admiral argued, raising a dark eyebrow at him.

Despite never living under his reign, Darth Vader’s power still radiated through his name, carrying an indescribable weight. The air felt heavier at the mention of it, like a curse falling over you.

“I suppose you’re right, Admiral,” he said with a sigh. “Perhaps we can extract him later.”

An icy chill ran down your spine at the implication. With the location of the Academy now uncovered, there was no telling what lengths the First Order would go to to eliminate their opposition.

Your father stalked towards you, his presence suffocating in the massive room. Everything about him was familiar, yet completely different—more refined. The scrape of his boots, a sound that once echoed throughout your home in the early hours of the morning, was now akin to the sound of nails raking over a blackboard. His poised shoulders and lifted chin, once the stature of a proud businessman who provided for his family, was now reminiscent of a soldier’s posture.

As his footfall came to a stop beside the Admiral, his narrowed eyes pierced yours, the eyes you had inherited from him.

You dropped your gaze to the slate floor, unable to bear the sight of him any longer. Besides, the floor wouldn’t betray you, given its composition of a material far more durable than your father’s morals.

“It’s good to see you, my dear,” he said, the sound of his voice grating to your ears.

You said nothing, your erratic breath the only response you were willing to offer. Your eyes stung as traitorous tears began to fill them, blurring the edges of your vision.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you.” He snatched your jaw between his fingers, pulling your head up to meet his unavoidable gaze. “I thought you’d be happy to see me.”

“Happy?” you said, the muscles in your face straining against his grip. “You expect me to be happy to see you after what you’ve put me through?”

“You wound me, daughter. You are, after all, our guest,” he sneered.

“I’m honored.”

He stared at you for a long moment before directing his attention to the stout man still standing behind you. “General, I do hope that she was not too much trouble for your men to extract.”

“Not at all, Cap. The lecepanine darts you gave us worked like a charm.”

To your surprise, Brendol Hux was not the person who answered your father’s question, but rather the last figure concealed by the shadows.

Every set of eyes in the room locked onto the man as he moved towards the group, stepping into the low light. His face was shrouded by a mask, one with a dull charcoal hue and a collection of glowing, red lines etched into the center of the plate. Draped over his shoulders was a long, black cowl, the tattered fabric trailing behind him like a shadow as he approached the center of the room.

The most surprising aspect of his appearance wasn’t the helmet, or even the threadbare clothing, it was the lack of it. His chest was bare, the carved muscles covered with dark scar tissue from his neck to the waistband of his tactical pants.

“What the fuck?” you whispered, somehow more confused now than upon seeing your own father in an Imperial uniform.

Nearly simultaneous with your remark, the restraints on your wrists buzzed with a current of electricity. Fucking bastard. You shot the General a venomous glare, receiving only a pleased grin from him in return, his thumb still hovering over the remote as a warning.

“Where are your manners?” your father scolded you, quickly releasing your face to slap you across it. “I thought your mother and I had taught you better than this.”

At the mention of your mother, your heart sank. The thought of what evil she might have endured during her marriage, how your father may have treated her behind closed doors. A violent rage grew within your chest at the mere idea of him hurting her.

“My apologies, Sir Ren. My daughter has always had a tendency to speak out of turn, but I assure you, she means no offense.”

“I can speak for myself–”

You were interrupted by another surge of energy shooting through your cuffs.

“None taken. And please, just call me Ren,” the masked man said to your father before turning his shielded gaze to you. “Sorry that this had to be the way we met, kid. But sometimes, you just gotta work with what life gives you.” Despite being modulated, you could tell that his voice was rough—almost leathery—as he spoke to you. Each syllable sent an unpleasant chill throughout your bones.

“And somehow, this is still the most pleasant way we could have met,” you spat.

Ren laughed behind his mask, the sound rattling through the vocoder. Time seemed to slow as his thumbs grazed along the underside of his jaw, unlatching his helmet and lifting it off of his head.

Thick, white hair fell from the helmet, framing his tan face, a stark contrast to his dark brows. He was youthful, more so than everyone else in the room, but easily a decade your senior. His icy blue eyes scanned your form, his gaze lingering on your chest before finally pulling away.

Pig.

“I like her. She’ll fit in just fine with my men.” Though he was looking at you, his statement passed through you like a ghost, directed at the uniformed men behind him.

“I doubt that,” you said, taking a step closer to him, as if you could even appear threatening right now if you tried.

“Gods, when will you learn to just shut up?” General Hux cut in, smacking you at the nape of your neck with the back of his hand. “You will treat your new Master with respect, or you will suffer dire consequences.”

“What, you’ll kill me?” you snapped. “Your bark is louder than your bite—all of you. If you wanted me dead, you would’ve done so already.” Your response was bold, probably too bold for a girl in restraints who was entirely surrounded by capable beings, but you didn’t care. You weren’t going to give in to their manipulation.

“Death isn’t the only consequence in this world, child,” your father said coldly.

His threat was enough to humble you, but you didn’t cower, slipping in one last jab before quieting yourself. “It’s the only consequence I want.”

“Enough.” Hux was firm as he spoke, stepping between the three of you in an attempt to redirect the conversation. “Ren, I expect a reconnaissance report from you by the end of the day. And Captain, will you do me a favor and put her back in her hold? I must see to it that her next dose is prepared.”

Dose? Your mind raced at the mention of the word. The context made it sound like they were already dosing you with something, causing panic to rise in your chest.

“Dose of what?” you blurted, hardly considering the repercussions of asking such a question.

Hux turned to look at you and as he did, you prepared for another strike across the face, but surprisingly, it never came. The only thing you felt was the bruising grip of your father’s hand around your upper arm as he steered you away from the group.

“Save your breath,” your father said, pushing you towards the dark corridor.

You met him with as much resistance as you could, trying to sow roots into the stone beneath you, but failed. The faces of Admiral Sloane, General Hux, and Sir Ren grew distant behind you as you were forced back into your cage.

The silence between you and your father was unsettling, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to make light conversation with him. What was there to talk about? The intricacies of the cracks running along the walls? Really, there was only one thing you wanted to speak to him about.

Once you breached the threshold of the cell, you found the courage to break the silence.

“Are you going to leave me here?”

You turned to face him, avoiding his gaze by counting the square tiles pinned to his uniform instead. There were six.

“No,” he replied, shoving you forward into the confines of your cell.

You stumbled over your own feet, landing just inches away from where you had initially awakened. Somehow, that felt like a lifetime ago. It was as if time passed differently in this fortress. An hour or a decade could have passed in your absence and you wouldn’t have known the difference.

He crouched in front of you, grabbing the bar that connected your cuffs in one hand as his other retrieved a remote from his breast pocket.

For a fleeting moment, the naive part of your soul foolishly hoped that he would release you, that he would courageously guide you through the maze and send you off in an escape pod to somewhere far away from here, to somewhere safe. But as he reattached the heavy chains to your wrists, the spark of your hope dwindled into a pile of smoldering ash.

You resisted the urge to curse him, to call him a horrible father and dishonorable man, but the ache in your bones and the exhaustion that clouded your thoughts were becoming impossible to ignore.

You tilted your head back against the wall and allowed your heavy eyes to close, the brief moment of rest so sweet and liberating.

You weren’t sure how much time passed while you sat there, eyes closed, and truthfully, you didn’t care. You were content there, drifting in a place between sleep and consciousness. That was until the squeak of boots treading across the wet floor filled the room. You forced your eyes open, finding that your father was still standing in your cell, watching over you like a sentry. He was adjacent to you, his back pressed against the wall as he stared down at you.

“I see that you’ve been demoted to babysitter,” you said dryly.

“I believe ‘guardian’ is a more appropriate title,” he replied, seemingly unbothered by your jab.

You scoffed. “Personally, I think ‘captor’ is the most fitting, but whatever helps you sleep at night, Pops.”

This time, your insult reached him. His nostrils flared as he sucked in a deep breath, letting it out shakily as he spoke. “From now on, you will address me as Captain.”

“Whatever you say, Captain,” you said, biting back the smile that tugged at your lips. You couldn’t help but feel proud to have finally managed to get under his skin.

As the air fell silent, the questions stirring in your mind became louder. If you were going to be trapped in a cage with him as your guard, you might as well make the best of it.

“How did you do it?” you asked quietly.

“Do what?”

You lifted your chained hands, motioning around you as best you could. “This.”

“That’s a broad question,” he said flatly.

“I feel like I’ve more than earned some answers.”

He drew in another breath, holding the air in his chest for a long moment before responding. “Fine.”

Every question was important, and every would be answered, but where to start? You settled on starting at the same place that the First Order did.

“How did you find me?”

The question hung in the air. What if he changed his mind? What if you’ve just dug yourself into a deeper hole?

Finally, he said, “The First Order’s technology is cutting edge, but ultimately unnecessary in our pursuit. The lead landed on our doorstep.”

You narrowed your eyes. “What do you mean?”

“A few months ago, our scanners detected an anomaly leaving the planet’s atmosphere: a decommissioned X-Wing. After running a painstakingly long decloaking sequence, we discovered that the ship exiting our airspace belonged to none other than Luke Skywalker.”

“No,” you whispered. “That can’t be true.”

“I can show you the report, if you’d like.”

You stayed silent, processing what he was telling you. Admittedly, you were hesitant to trust your father, but you couldn’t deny your curiosity.

“Why was he here?”

“How am I supposed to know? We were not operating here on Zeffo at the time. He was gone long before we could investigate,” he said, pursing his lips in a tight line.

“Wait—Zeffo? As in, the lost Jedi civilization, Zeffo?” you asked, your eyes widening. The reveal of your location felt like a lifeline being thrown to you, but with nothing to communicate with, the information was trivial.

“Yes. I suspect that was why Skywalker was here in the first place.”

“But Master Skywalker says that he hasn’t left the Academy in over a year. It couldn’t have been him.” You were thinking out loud at this point, but you didn’t care. You needed to make sense of what he was telling you.

“Then you must be deceived,” he said. “His ship was here, regardless of what he may have told you.”

You struggled to believe him, sifting through every other possibility in your mind. Master Skywalker has been present at the Academy the entire time you’ve been there. And his ship, it hasn’t left the shipyard in months, not since—

“Ben,” you whispered. A glowing warmth radiated in your chest as you said his name.

That had to be it. When you met Ben, he had just returned from a Jedi artifact search in Master Skywalker’s X-Wing, rather than the Grimtaash. You wondered now if the choice for him and Lor San Tekka to fly smaller, separate ships had been deliberate.

“What did you say?” your father asked, his hearing evidently still as sharp as it had been when you were a child.

“N-Nothing—I didn’t say anything,” you stammered, clearing your throat. “What happened after that, after you discovered his ship?”

He watched you with suspicious eyes, but continued. “With a great deal of effort on our part, and the help of the Imperial archives, we were able to splice the ship’s navigational system remotely and extract the destination log from its data. It was there that we found the coordinates to an unknown location in the Outer Rim.”

You couldn’t tell if you were angry or saddened to learn that all of this stemmed from Ben’s artifact trip in his uncle’s X-Wing. Though, the blame wasn’t entirely his. After all, he had made the journey under the supervision of Master Skywalker and Lor San Tekka.

“I just don’t understand. Why only capture me? Why not destroy the entire temple when you had the chance?” As grim as the question was, you needed an answer to it.

“After some debate, it was decided that we would only extract one student as a candidate for our initiative, and after hearing word of my beloved wife suddenly shipping our daughter away to parts unknown, I proposed that we choose you.”

“But you didn’t even know that I was at the Academy. Mom made arrangements before you returned from your business trip—whatever it may have been for.”

“Truthfully, we were testing a hypothesis. I suspected that you had been sent to Luke Skywalker’s Academy, so, General Hux and I created a plan to infiltrate the grounds.”

Your heart pounded harder against your ribs with every word that left his mouth. Every step of this nightmare had been delicately crafted with malicious intent, and you weren’t sure which part of it was worse—the physical suffering, or the psychological torment of knowing that each day you spent the Academy, you were being hunted.

“It was simple, really. With the aid of an experimental formula created decades ago by Imperial scientists, as well as a contracted team of mercenaries, we were able to test our hypothesis.”

The drug mentioned earlier immediately came to your mind, the one the man named Ren had used to incapacitate you. What did he call it? Lelpanocine? No, that wasn’t right.

“The lel…lelpano—” you started to say before your father interrupted you.

“Lecepanine. No, not that. This task required something more complex than a paralytic alone. Diazexacin was created with the purpose of severing one’s connection to the Force. According to the reports, creating it was a tedious process, but the end result is highly effective. And, to our benefit, quite versatile.”

Why was he telling you so much? It felt too convenient for him to plainly reveal the First Order’s master plan to abduct you, but then again, you were already their helpless captive. What did they have to lose by divulging this information to you?

“Versatile how?” you asked, snapping yourself back into the conversation.

“It can be absorbed through a variety of routes, including the digestive tract,” he answered, a smug expression plastered across his face.

Your father’s words rolled around your head. His mention of the digestive tract illuminated a detail that you had overlooked in the chaos of everything. The day you were abducted, every student you spoke to at the Academy reported feeling off, or otherwise disconnected from the Force. But why? That had been the question you posed to Ben, Tai, and Hennix, who had all brushed off your concerns. In retrospect, you were right to question it, but it was too late now. Now, you needed to find the common denominator, the thing that everyone had to have shared that day.

Just then, the realization hit you, slamming into you like a fiery meteor colliding with a planet. The food. The First Order had found a way to spike the Academy's food supply.

“You drugged the food…” you said, nauseated at the thought.

“Very good, my child. But not all of the food,” he corrected. “Only a select amount of produce was able to retain the diazexacin after the cooking process. Carrots and potatoes were all that we were able to manage.”

The memory of that morning’s breakfast came back to you: diced potatoes and eggs. And that evening, the hearty tiingilar that had warmed your heart and belly. How naive you had been while eating it, trying your best to enjoy the stew as Tai and Hennix poked fun at you. The First Order’s strategy in this matter alone proved them to be a worthy threat to peace across the galaxy.

You rubbed the bandage taped to your neck in thought, digesting the wealth of information being given to you. “Well, congratulations. Your hypothesis was right. Next time, maybe consider peaceful negotiations before shooting a blow dart into my neck and dragging me out of my home. Perhaps I would’ve gone with you willingly.”

He raised an eyebrow at you. “Is that so?”

“Stars, no. Not in a million light years. But you never know,” you said with a small shrug. A bit of humor eased your discomfort, even if it was just slightly.

Across the room, you saw the corner of your father’s mouth twitch upwards before falling back into a hard line.

Silence filled the space as you closed your eyes again, letting out a long yawn as you did. If it weren’t for the sharp ridges of stone probing you like a human pin cushion, you would almost be able to fall asleep.

“Dad,” you said weakly, fighting off the weight of sleep that threatened to take you. “I’d like to sleep, but I can’t get comfortable.”

“And what would you have me do about that?” he replied curtly.

“I don’t know. Tell me a bedtime story, or something.”

The request hung in the air for a long moment, as if he were carefully deciding his answer.

“I suppose I could do that. What kind of story would you like to hear?”

There was no cadence in his question, not like you remembered from your childhood. It was as if he had been replaced by a stranger—a staunch, heartless stranger whose lack of compassion rivaled even the most vile beings in the galaxy.

“I’d like to hear the one about the Imperial officer, the one who fooled the world posing as an ordinary farmer for the better part of his daughter’s life.”

His throat knocked as he considered, his lips tight. “Fine.”

At that, you pried your eyes open, looking at him expectantly.

“Where do I even begin…” he said, lowering his voice. “When I was a young man, I enlisted in the Imperial army, with every intention of someday becoming a Commander. As it were, fate had other plans for me.”

“Before I could attain my goal, the Empire collapsed. I was left to fend for myself, searching the galaxy for a job that wouldn’t look too far into my history. That’s when I met your mother.”

“Neither of you ever did tell me how the two of you met,” you said quietly, the warmth in your cheeks vanishing at the idea of your mother somehow being connected to the Empire.

“No, we didn’t. You wouldn’t have believed us if we had,” he said with a chuckle, the first indication of emotion you had seen from him all day. “We met in a bar in the lower levels of Coruscant. I was a different man back then, placing large bets with credits I didn’t have and drinking away what little winnings I made.”

It was hard to imagine him like that, young and stupid, tossing credits down on a dirty, felt-lined tabletop in some seedy bar tucked away on Coruscant. The image almost made you smile.

“I remember it vividly. It was a particularly busy night, the heavy rain was driving everyone inside. I was already down five thousand credits, with only two in my pockets when I saw her. Your mother stood out from the crowd like a star in an empty sky. She couldn’t help it, of course. Despite her casual attire, she was stunning, and in my drunken stupor, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to ruin my life in a new and exciting way.”

You tried to picture the scene, imagining what she was wearing, how she had styled her hair. It was calming to hear about her, to piece together the image of the woman she was in her youth.

Your father sucked in a short breath before continuing. “I was so drunk, in fact, that it did not even occur to me that the woman I had spent the evening buying drinks for was, in fact, a Rebel spy.”

The image you had painted in your mind crumbled at his words. “Mom was…a Rebel?”

“Oh, don’t look so surprised. How else do you think she knew about Skywalker’s precious Academy?”

The question simmered in your mind as you processed it. In the wake of the discovery of your Force sensitivity, you hadn’t stopped to consider how your mother knew about the existence of the Academy to begin with, being more concerned with getting there than asking such questions.

“If what you say is true and she really was a Rebel, then she would have never married you. Especially not with the knowledge that you were still loyal to the Empire,” you said, your voice raised slightly.

He took a step forward, careful to keep the distance between you wide. “Oh, but she did know. It was not by chance that we met in that bar, not at all. She had been watching me for weeks, learning my routine, just waiting for the right opportunity to strike. You see, your dear mother was operating under the orders of Chancellor Mothma, who had created a task force to exterminate all remaining Imperial officials in the galaxy. Evidently, I had pissed off the wrong person and they tattled on me to the New Republic. It was just my luck that your mother was the agent they had sent to investigate.”

“I…I don’t believe you.”

At that, he let out a low laugh. “You don’t have to. Our vows were proof enough that love conquers all, or rather, did conquer all.”

“What do you mean?” you asked wearily.

Ignoring your question, he continued. “For a long time, there was talk amongst my buyers, talk of a rising power in the shadow of the New Republic. I never gave it much merit, but after a while, the rumors became too much to ignore any longer. I knew I needed to do something, to help restore the Empire to its former glory.”

Spoken like a true sympathizer, you thought.

“I suppose your mother did the same, keeping her connections in the Rebellion just as close as I had kept mine in the Empire.”

There was a tonal shift in his statement, one that left you feeling uneasy. He was choosing his words more carefully now, holding you at a distance once more.

“Where is she now?” you asked, hiding the anxiety that was creeping in.

He averted his gaze at the question, which only made you more desperate for an answer.

“Please, tell me,” you pleaded, swallowing what little remained of your pride.

Reluctantly, he answered, “Somewhere safe.”

It was not the answer you had expected, but still not specific enough to ease your concerns.

“Where is she?” you demanded.

“I cannot speak to where she is at this exact moment,” he said, letting out a long sigh. “But I will say, shooting her was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”

In an instant, the world around you shifted. It was no longer gravity that held you in place, but rather a different weight, one that crushed your bones and stilled your breath. You were sinking, plummeting backwards through frigid water as it filled your lungs, the reality at the surface becoming more distorted the further you fell.

“What…” The word left your lips slowly, tumbling through the dead space between you and your father.

Before he could respond, you felt it. A heavy swirl of energy surrounded you, filling your senses as it embraced you like an old friend. It was radiant and welcoming, but equally as dark and demanding, moving through you as if you were a vessel of its will.

“Don’t be mistaken, I did not take any pleasure in doing it. Truthfully, it was like putting down a sick dog, releasing it from its misery…”

Your father’s voice faded into oblivion as your ears rang, the only sound reaching you being your ragged breath as the Force ripped through you.

Bolts and fasteners bounced across the ground as you pulled against the chains that anchored you, ripping them free from their base. The squeal of metal scraping stone filled the room as you took a step forward. You lifted your hands, sending warm blood running down your arms, cascading down your skin like a crimson rain. Hot, burning pain spread through your body, but you were unbothered. The sensation only focused your anger, channeling it like molten glass being poured along an iron cast, creating something violent and destructive.

“What are you—General! Somebody, please, get in here, NOW–”

Your father’s cry for help was interrupted by a strangled cough as the Force seized his throat, lifting him into the air until he was hovering, flailing his legs wildly. The only thing that could be heard over the sound of him suffocating was his leather boots dragging across the ground as you summoned him to your hand, gripping his windpipe tight when he finally reached you.

For the first time in your life, you saw fear in your father’s eyes. The sight of it fed the dark spirit in your soul, fanning the flames of its rage.

As if he realized this, he squeezed his eyes shut, baring his clenched teeth as he worked to pry your fingers from his neck.

“Look at me,” you said, your low voice almost unrecognizable to your ears. “I want you to look at me when I kill you.”

Against his volition, his eyes flew open, the whites of them now littered with broken vessels as the color slowly drained from his skin. He clawed at your hand, successfully peeling back a few fingers before the lack of oxygen took its toll, rendering his attempts to free himself futile.

“You…w-will always b-be…” he croaked, gulping down what little air he could manage. “Scum.”

His limp body fell to the ground with no resistance, and as it did, the fog lifted. As quickly as it had appeared, the energy surrounding you vanished, leaving you hollow and cold in its wake.

All you could do was stare into the vacant eyes of the man who had murdered your mother, his warm corpse mangled on the floor. No blood pooled around him, and every limb was accounted for and intact. He was nothing more than an empty shell now.

The urge to vomit was intense as you turned on your heels, searching for the exit. Acid burned your throat as General Hux came rushing through the doorway, clutching a cloudy syringe in his hand.

His pale eyes widened as they fell on you, an image drawn from nightmares. You stood in the center of the room, dark, thick blood coating your arms and running down the broken chains like fresh paint, small drops landing on the corpse lying beneath you.

“What have you done?” he asked quietly.

You whipped your head around to face him. In a rush of adrenaline, you shot your hand out towards him in a desperate attempt to wield the dark energy from moments ago. But it had abandoned you.

The syringe in the General’s hand flashed under the waning sunlight as he barreled towards you. The diazexacin.

You scrambled for your father’s body, frantically searching his uniform for a weapon. The barrel of a blaster peaked out from under his tunic, tucked neatly into his belt. Before ripping it free, the horrid question of what this blaster had been used for crossed your mind, but you pushed it away. You couldn’t dwell on that right now.

Wrapping your trembling finger around the trigger, you turned to face the General, lifting the barrel to aim at his broad frame.

“Drop it,” he barked, searching his waistline for a weapon of his own.

Shakily, you pulled back on the cold metal, closing your eyes in anticipation of the discharging laser beam, but nothing came. Shit—the safety.

“Idiot,” Hux spat, raising the barrel of his own blaster and firing a shot.

You felt the impact immediately, the tearing of your flesh as the blast ripped through your shoulder, every bone in your arm seeming to shatter. The blaster in your hand clattered to the floor, echoing in the tiny room. The force of the fall released the safety, sending it flying forward until it hit the metal body of the gun with a soft ping, as if to mock you.

“A reckless, idiot girl who–”

The words died in his tongue as you swept your leg beneath his, buckling his knees and knocking him onto his back. His blaster flew from his grasp, landing meters away as it clattered against the jagged rock.

You were frozen for a moment, waiting for any movement from him. Did you kill him, too? Though his skull hit the ground with the same force as his body, his chest finally rose and fell with shallow, slow, breaths. Strangely, you couldn’t tell if you were relieved or disappointed.

“You talk too much,” you said, groaning as you pulled yourself to your feet and collected the two blasters, holding the smaller one weakly with your injured hand.

You clutched your limp arm against your chest to the best of your ability as you hurried through the hallway to the main chamber, blindly navigating the winding corridor as the edges of your vision turned black.

When you reached the mouth of the doorway, you stopped in your path, using your good arm to lean against the wall for support. The nausea returned and you hunched over your knees, coughing violently to settle your stomach.

The chamber was empty, with only the flickering lights filling the space. It was an unsettling sight, but you were in no state for an outnumbered fight. There was no strategy in your escape from this prison, only pure instinct guiding you now.

Distant voices rang throughout the fortress, quickly approaching you as you stood at the precipice of the room, forcing down the adrenaline that rushed through you.

Just as you stepped into the room, you sensed an unmistakable presence, one that had grown more familiar to you than your own reflection. Immediately, you felt a calmness wash over you.

“Ben,” you whispered.

#I hope the end of this chapter cleanses me of the sin of taking three entire weeks to update #ben solo #ben solo x reader #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren x you #ben solo x fem!reader #ben solo x you #star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars self insert #kylo ren smut #ben solo smut #my writing

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