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just-ornstein · 4 months

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WHAT THE FUCK IS THE BEAKER CASTLE EVEN - A SimPE Deep Dive

Alright, so after stumbling upon some of the Beta pics on the Russian TheSims.cc site and this analysis post about the Beaker mansion, I became deeply curious if some of this would be reflected in the lot relationships. After all, some characters like Viola, Kelly, on top of several others could be found when digging through the raw and somewhat encrypted code of lots.

By now it's pretty clear that the Beaker home once belonged to this dude and his army of girlfriends (definitely check out the post I mentioned earlier). On top of that Loki (and possibly Circe) seems to have gone through at least two iterations before eventually settling on their final forms.

And on top of that whenever you scan the mansion in a completely new game, you will find fingerprints of primarily deceased Sims everywhere!

Now to get to the Sim relationships on the lot...

712 freaking Sim Relationships, all of which are unknown. Some of which still have stats set such as married, friends, relationship scores, etc. I tried comparing this to other lots in their neighborhood and NONE even come close. Both Olive and the Smiths have around 400. The other lots have below. And the only lots that are even a tad higher in this number are the Capps and the Summerdreams which makes sense when you realise that hood went through at least one other iteration before turning into Veronaville.

Now I wondered if the encrypted code (despite being very hard to read due to being partially encrypted) had any old Sim remnants left in there. And yep, several even. Many of which even have information such as their gender, hair, clothes and age in there. So lemme go over some of them:

1. First one, a guy who's name is partially encrypted so it will never fully be visible. It's not Johnny cause Johnny also has his character file on this lot.

A male teen with brown hair who used to wear the "tmbodyhoodedsweatshirtboardshorts" + the "tmhairhatcap" hairstyle.

2. Second is another teen, this time by the name of Zeeshan. He had black hair, the bucket hat hairstyle and wore the hooded sweatshirt, except with pants this time around (and grey apparently?).

3. The third was an adult male Sim by the name of Kenneth with black hair. Based on his info he was likely meant to be a Gardener Sim.

4. The fourth was one named Kana... Possibly a longer name cause once again the code becomes a bit shambled here. She too was meant to be a Gardener as seen by her outfit and hair data. Her hair would have been brown.

5. Elle, another female Gardener Sim, this one having red hair.

6. Vasyl, an adult male Sim who wore the busdriver outfit. Sadly his hair data seems to be blocked behind the code. For funsies I like to give the name to Bald Beta Loki, since he gives off that vibe. BUT, I think this was an NPC busdriver due to the outfit.

7. Joanne, an adult female Sim with an unknown hair colour in corn rows style and the classy afbodyjacketturtlesweaterdressboots. Sadly her ID is hidden behind the encrypted code, so it's hard to fully make out.

All of these Sims appear to be NPC/Townie Sims. None of them match ANYONE in the Beta pictures. And the current Townies/NPCs seem to have replaced them. Interestingly enough, those that were NPCs are still NPCs and those that were Townies are still Townies. Making me wonder if this is a thing that translates to other Sim IDs too. That Sims that were Townies in earlier iterations are still Townies in their new form. Same for NPCs and yep, Playables. This is merely an assumption I'm making on what I'm finding here, but if anyone can help research this further, that would be greatly appreciated, especially as this could mean the Viola ID may not belong to Viola Monty.

Viola is an odd case cause no outfit, hair or other data can be found in the lot file and she's only ever mentioned once in the context of lines filled with "sleep in pyjamas". But for now I cannot say anything with certainty unless more remnants of these old Sims could be found somewhere. OR, if these files could be read in its entirety which is quite difficult.

It's very hard to get a Sim ID attached to a lot (believe me I tried) and often times seems to rather happen accidentally than intentionally. Moving a Sim out or having a Sim die usually removes the data they once held to that lot. Good example is Loki in my current Strangetown who lived on this lot all of his life and when he died he had no remnants left on this lot.

REGARDLESS! The Beaker lot is ancient and seems to have been ground for a ton of testing, Sims and many more things. No wonder the Beakers got this home with its incredibly shady history. Half of the beta town was partying here!

#the sims 2 #ts2 #the beaker family #loki beaker #circe beaker #the sims 2 beta #beta sims 2 #sims #sims 2 #the sims #the encrypted code IS IN FACT Hex code btw #I figured this out when opening it in Visual Studio #main problem is that some of the hex is blank #meaning it’s unreadable at least in the file itself #SimPE manages to bypass some of it #but not all as we cannot find these Sim IDs in there

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mr-and-mr-diaz · 18 days

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My thoughts on 7x06:

KEVIN AND CHIMNEY YOU HAVE MY WHOLE HEART

This was basically Chimney's version of a coma episode

The episode wasn't as confused and muddled as I was expecting, which was great! Was super coherent, unlike the acid trip of 7x05

However, the episode still had a rushed feeling to it, and not in a "satisfying fast clip" kinda way, more the "OMG so much to cover so little time ahhhhh" kinda way.

Kenneth Choi and Jennifer Love Hewitt are GREAT actors!! Really brought all the feels

LOVE how stripped back and simple Madney's wedding was in the end. Somehow that was SO THEM. And Bobby officiating was chef's kiss.

Buck outing himself with a soot beard was VERY HIM. My guy you don't got 2 brain cells to rub together (affectionate)

Buddie partying it up in the beginning is even more hilarious now that we know that they didn't lose track of Chimney, lol he was never there

No one else was there, really. Everyone ditched except Eddie. And so the two bisexually dressed men enjoyed someone else's bachelor party wrapped up in each other (I HAVE THOUGHTSSSS)

I still don't care for Tommy beyond a vague "he's nice." Happy for Buck's journey though, but praying bucktommy isn't endgame, at the end of the day it's just one more rushed, underdeveloped relationship for Buck, the fact that it's with a man, while cool, doesn't change that underlying emptiness of an underdeveloped relationship with someone who isn't the person I've been rooting for and they've been building for actual YEARS.

Hot take: Tommy has better chemistry with Eddie than he does with Buck. Not that I ship Eddie and Tommy, this is more a roundabout way of saying I genuinely don't see much chemistry between bucktommy tbh. Like the writers mashing 2 Ken dolls together. And this isn't me talking smack, I'm just observing what I see. Like the kiss was well timed and well executed, but it didn't make me sHivEr the way it does with two actors who SPARK, you know what I mean? (examples of kisses that SPARKED: RWRB first kiss, timlucy from The Rookie is a great example (when that happened I held my freaking breath), Oliver and Felicity from Flash was INSANE. Like you know when the magic is there, and for these two... they're cute? But they're not IT.)

As long as I'm dropping hot takes: Hen saying "It's about time" felt very fanfiction-y to me. Like it's likely that she's observed a thing or two (she's sharp and has eyes and gets to watch buddie hanging out FREQUENTLY) but narratively and on-screen there were no breadcrumbs leading us to that moment. There was never a moment we saw onscreen where she was wondering "huh, I think Buck is bi," even by dint of facial expression, which means that moment wasn't paying off anything, and because of that it felt so... fanservice-y.

#911 spoilers #madney #buddie #bathena #henren #madney wedding #7x06

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saywhatjessie · 5 months

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Drunk on Christmas

Day nineteen of the Advent calendar! Using this list. Day 19: Secret Santa Fandom: Ted Lasso - Pairing: RoyJamie 2.2k[Ao3]

“Oi!”

Everyone in the locker room immediately quieted, giving Roy their full attention. He bit back a smirk.

“We’re doing Secret Santa,” he told them, lightly shaking the shoebox in his hand. Phoebe had decorated it so some red glitter fell gently to the floor at the movement. “I know the idea of Christmas is so fucking prevelant in this country, people don’t think of it as a religious holiday anymore and that’s extremely fucking annoying to those of us who aren’t fucking Christian–”

Some whoops went up from some of the boys and Roy nodded at them in approval.

“-but giving and receiving gifts is still nice. So we’re fucking doing it anyway. Come pick a name from the box.”

Everyone cheered, scattered talk coming up from everyone about gift ideas.

Roy passed the box off to Isaac who manfully didn’t grimace at the amount of glitter that was about to get all over him, and turned to go back to the office.

He paused at the door to turn back to them. “Oi! And no booze!”

Most of them started whining at this but Roy shut them down with a glare.

“I don’t want to hear it!” He said. “You’re not just gonna go trading bottles of liquor, you’re going to think about your fucking teammates and deliver something heartfelt or all of you are doing laps until your feet blister so badly they get infected and drop off.”

“Well that’s vivid,” Jamie commented, idly.

Roy bared his teeth at him. Jamie winked back.

Roy growled and turned into the office, closing the door behind him.

“That was sweet,” Beard commented, not looking up from his book.

Roy growled at him, too, coming around to sit at his desk.

Nate peaked his head through the door from his office. “What’s sweet?”

“Roy making a no alcohol rule for Secret Santa so Jamie wouldn’t be singled out or receive a gift he can’t drink,” Beard answered, looking over the top of his book to smirk at Roy. Who wasn’t looking. He could just feel it. “Real thoughtful, coach.”

“I will set your book on fire,” Roy said.

Beard blew him a kiss.

“Is the no alcohol rule for staff as well?” Nate asked, worriedly. “I mean it’s a nice sentiment and all, I’m just not sure how well I actually know Karen from finance.”

“Spoilers,” Beard said, scandalized.

“There is no Karen in finance, he was being hypothetical,” Roy said, rolling his eyes. “And that’s up to Rebecca so we can ask her. I think she’ll be fine with alcohol, though. Her problem is the spending limit.”

“I think we should just let her spend eight thousand pounds on Kenneth the bus driver,” Nate said, smiling. “I think it would be funny.”

“And Kenneth could use it,” Beard said. “His MLM is hemorrhaging money.”

Roy sighed.

Later that week found Jamie curled up on Roy’s couch frowning at his phone as he tried to figure out what to get Zorro for Secret Santa.

“You really shouldn’t tell me this shit,” Roy said to Jamie’s grumbling, looking up from his book on the other side of the couch. “I shouldn’t be involved.”

“You’re not involved,” Jamie said, wiggling his toes further under Roy’s thigh for warmth. “That’s why I can tell you. You’re on a whole different Secret Santa. So it’s fine.”

Roy grunted, acknowledging the logic in that. “I’ve got Will,” he said. “Figured I’d just get him some nice noise canceling headphones. He hears too much.”

“That’s by design,” Jamie grinned. “Kitman’s a little freak. Good lad.”

Roy grimaced. “I don’t like that.”

“Prude.”

Roy rolled his eyes. “Fine, so no headphones. I’ll think of something else.”

Jamie hummed, a crease between his eyebrows from his frown. Roy fought down the impulse to rub it away with his thumb. “You’re lucky all your other shopping is done,” Jamie said. “Hanukkah was so early this year. I still have to buy for mummy and Simon and Keeley and Phoebe and–”

“Why are you getting Phoebe a present?” Roy asked. “You already bought her those pokemon cards for Hanukkah. Which she’s obsessed with, by the way.”

“Obviously,” Jamie said, but he still preened at the praise. “But she celebrates both, don’t she? So I gotta get her presents for both.”

“You don’t,” Roy told him. “Have to. You already give her so much.”

“Yeah, and I want to, so lay off, grandad,” Jamie looked at Roy over his phone, his chin jutting out stubbornly. “She’s the best kid in the world and she’s my friend and I love her so I’ll do what I like.”

Roy swallowed, his chest feeling tight. He grunted, nodding at whatever Feeling this was giving him, and turned back to his book. Jamie made a triumphant little “Hmph” and turned back to his phone.

Roy had been having this Feeling a lot lately. When Jamie laughed at a joke or made himself at home at Roy’s house or looked at Roy after he’d done something particularly clever on the pitch, sort of proud and seeking approval. He didn’t know where the Feeling was coming from or why it was happening. But it was there and Roy couldn’t figure out what it was or what to do with it.

But, to be fair, he really wasn’t trying that hard,

“What do you think about skin cream?” Jamie asked. “For Zorro, I mean. He’s got that big bald head, it’s gotta need moisturizing, yeah?”

Roy hummed. “I say don’t get anyone soap products unless you know what they’re skin is like.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Jamie frowned at Roy, kicking him a little with one of the feet still tucked under Roy’s legs. “I will break you, by the way. I will find a skin care routine that doesn’t harm your delicate skin with impure metals.”

“Leave my doctor prescribed body wash alone.”

“Why are you using body wash on your face?!”

“Fuck you. No, do not buy Zorro skin cream.”

Jamie grumbled, turning back to his phone.

“I don’t know what the fuck your problem is,” Roy said. “You’re great at giving gifts. It’s annoying.”

“You only say that because of the gifts I’ve gotten you.”

“Well, yeah, what other gifts would I have to go on?”

Jamie whined, pulling his feet out from under Roy and plopping them in his lap instead so he could sink further down on the couch. “It’s easy to get gifts for you. Been obsessed with you since I was a kid, haven’t I? I already know what shit you’d like or find funny.” Jamie sighed, letting his head think back against the armrest. “I haven’t always been the best teammate.”

Roy put his book down, resting a hand on Jamie’s ankle. “Yeah. You were shit.”

Jamie dropped his heel on Roy’s thigh in a gentle kick, not picking up his head.

Roy breathed a laugh. “You’re not now, though. So get the fuck over yourself – your gift will be fine.”

Jamie snorted. “I can do better than fine. It’ll be mint.”

“Fucking prove it.”

Jamie picked his head up, smirking at Roy and looked back at his phone. He left his feet where they were.

Roy smiled when he was sure Jamie wasn’t looking at him anymore. He watched Jamie’s hair, worn loose even after all the walnut mist had grown out, as it fell delicately over his eyes. Jamie made a stupid face when he was concentrating: his mouth all pouted out, his top lip coming up to touch his nose. He whined at Roy every time he pointed this out, saying he wasn’t doing it on purpose and Roy’s face was more stupid than his could ever be.

Fuck, there was that Feeling again.

“Do you know what part of Canada Zorro’s from?” Jamie asked and Roy had to rush to fix whatever his face was doing before Jamie looked up.

“Montreal,” Roy answered. “Why?”

“I’m trying to find locally sourced maple syrup,” Jamie told him. “It’s gonna cost a fuckload to ship but what’s all my money for if not to show my teammates I love em?”

And Jamie had said the word before when he was talking about Phoebe. And he told Keeley he loved her and he signs off every phone call with his mum with an “I love you”.

But something about Jamie saying it just then, his warmth on Roy and his face all soft and looking perfect against the backdrop of Roy’s house – of Roy’s life – made that fucking Feeling rocket like a pinball from his chest into his brain and go clink.

“Fuck!”

He shoved Jamie’s feet off him and stood up, moving quickly to the kitchen.

“Oi!” Jamie complained from the couch. “Be gentle with these feet - they were kissed by God, remember?”

Roy pressed his forehead against his fridge and tried to breathe. Fuck. Fucking fuck fuck fuck.

“You let me know when you’re done with whatever that magical realization was,” Jamie called. “I still want your opinion about the syrup thing. They also have syrup candy? But it seems like you make that yourself. That could be fun to do as a team.”

Jamie was still talking. Roy’s entire life just rearranged itself and Jamie was still talking.

“There’s also this Canadian brand called Roots or summat. It has sweats and stuff? But also hats. That’s something I can get him to protect his bald head. Man, you’re right, I am good at this.”

Roy slammed his hand against the fridge and stalked back to the living room.

Jamie looked back, taking in Roy’s stress position but looking completely unconcerned. “Oh, good, you’re back. I think I’m gonna do the syrup and the hat. That way he can eat one and keep one, yeah?”

“Are we in love?”

Jamie jerked, his phone nearly flying out of his hand. “What?”

“You and me. Have we been in love this whole time? I just found out.”

Jamie’s eyes were wide, both his hands curled around his phone, held to his chest like he was protecting it. A strand of his hair was somehow caught on his stupidly long eyelashes. He looked so beautiful.

Roy was going to punch himself in the dick.

“Fuck!” he cried again, collapsing back on the couch. He put his head in his hands and waited for his stupid heart to feel normal again.

That was looking less and less likely, though, as Jamie moved closer to him (slowly, ever so slowly) and put a hand on his back.

“Um–” Jamie started, and his breath hitched a little. “I mean, I am. In love. I mean.”

He let out a frustrated breath and Roy turned to look at him.

The crease between his eyebrows was back and Roy actually did reach out a hand to smooth it out this time.

Jamie leaned into his hand. “I hoped, you know?” Jamie said. “The way you let me hang around so much and how much time I get to spend with you and Phoebe and you’ve met my mum and she loves you and your sister seems to trust me which is mint and–” he took a deep breath. “I thought maybe you loved me. Since you haven’t gotten sick of me yet.”

Roy grunted. It wasn’t a nice enough sound so he tried words next. “What about you?”

Jamie snorted, moving closer to Roy until their sides were completely pressed together. “Man, I’ve been in love with you for years. First I was just a fanboy, you know? Wanked to your poster, studied your play, wanted to impress ya. But then I knew you and you were better than I imagined. Because you were a fucking prick.”

Roy snorted, shaking his head.

“No, really!” Jamie continued. “Before that you were like a god, you know? Untouchable. But then you were mean but gentle with your niece and a little clumsy and believed in ghosts and you were a person and there was nothing on earth that could stop me from loving you.”

Roy sighed, letting his head dip down and rest against Jamie's. He took a deep breath in, inhaling Jamie’s air.

“So we’re in love,” he clarified.

Jamie laughed, turning his head to kiss Roy’s temple. “Yes, Royo, we’re in love.”

No one else was surprised they were in love. Higgins already had the paperwork set aside when Roy asked for it. Rebecca took out a bottle of champagne sticky noted with ‘For when Roy finally gets out of his own way.’

Beard turned out to be Roy’s Secret Santa and gave him two tickets to Marbella in his and Jamie’s names.

“For the off season,” Beard shrugged. “If you want them.”

Roy growled. “This is definitely over the price limit.”

Beard smirked, flipping his sunglasses down and crossing his arms.

Roy looked past him and into the dressing room where Jamie was receiving his Secret Santa gift from Bumbercatch: a pair of huge pink mittens. HIs face was so bright and happy and Roy loved him so much.

He had to look away. It was so embarrassing having feelings in public.

He looked back at Beard who was holding out a shot of spiced whisky.

Roy took it with a grunt. “Thank you,” he threw back the shot. “And fuck you.”

“Fuck you too, bud,” Beard raised his class and threw his own shot back.

Maybe alcohol was needed for Secret Santa.

#Ted Lasso #RoyJamie #writing advent #oops I wrote a thing

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miriam-heddy · 6 days

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Chim 911

Nobody prepared me for Chimney (Kenneth Choi)!

Just started S4. And seriously, he’s so adorable. And funny. And freaking hot! I would love to hang out with Hen and Chim!

#911 abc #kenneth choi #911 chimney

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oh-surprise-its-me · 9 months

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Roy/Jamie prompt: The team are heading home on the bus from an away match when another driver swerves in front of them. Kenneth the bus driver does his best to keep the bus steady and as it wildly swerves, it's complete chaos with everyone holding on for dear life. Something heavy gets loose on the bus like a light or a shelf and it sails straight for Roy, only Jamie's suddenly there taking the blow, protecting Roy and getting knocked out cold while Roy and the others can only look on in horror. Roy cradles and carries an unconscious Jamie out of the bus and never leaves his side. He won't rest until Jamie is okay.

*me pointing a rake at you guys and poking* back!back! I say! stop it with this angst! (Kidding love you all and I absolutely loving writing requests)

They never saw the bar drop, just the sound of it hitting Jamie’s head.

Jamie who stepped in front of Roy, because he saw the bar coming.

Jamie who’s currently unconscious in Roy’s lap. Everyone starts yelling.

They pull over into a hospital. Roy can’t fully carry Jamie because of his knee so Isaac picks his legs up. The ER is busy, of course it is, it’s a weekend. “Oi need a bed over here!”

Jamie is taken from Roy. He almost growls at the nurse but remembers the stories his sister has told him. They are just trying to do their jobs.

“You his emergency contact?” Roy thinks it’s probably Jamie’s mom or Keeley. “Uh no?”

“You aren’t Roy Kent? Damn really?”

Roy blinks. “No I am what do you mean emergency contact.”

The nurse blinks back. “It looks like you and his mum are emergency contacts? If you want to sit with him until he wakes up you can.”

Roy off towards the rooms. Isaac texted to say they are crashing at a nearby hotel.

Roy sits next to Jamie. He can admit he’s freaking out a bit. He takes Jamies hand and presses a kiss to it. What Jamie doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Five hours later Jamie wakes up. He blinks awake and his first two thoughts are that his head hurts and someone is holding his hand.

He rolls his head to see Roy. Oh.

Unexpected.

He hits the call button and then lightly taps Roy. “Roy wake up.”

Roy jerks awake. He looks at Jamie, “oh my god never do that again.”

Jamie lightly laughs. “Not planning on it. Sorry I scared you.”

Roy keeps holding his hand even as the nurse comes in and then through the doctor. They’re keeping him overnight just to be safe. They tell him his husband is welcome to stay. That makes Jamie blush

“Why am I your emergency contact.”

Jamie’s eyes go wide. He for a brief second considers pretending to pass out.

He doesn’t.

“Closest thing to family I have yeah? Mums far away and I don’t want to scare her just for it to be nothing. Anyways I trust you most. Anyways husband?

Roy squeezes Jamie’s hand. “Nurse made some kinda off assumptions. But next time you decide to list me as a contact let me know yeah?”

“Weird that she thought we were married.”

Roy shuffles his feet, “I could believe boyfriends or dating.”

Jamie blinks. He’s still a bit foggy but he knows what he just heard. “Did you just ask me on a date?”

Roy sighs. “Yeah. I cant lose you without telling you I like you. Christ this was a hell of a wake up call.”

Jamie sits up. He pulls Roy closer taking advantage of the fact the chair he’s sitting in has wheels. “Can you kiss me?”

They meet half way, it’s soft. Jamie melts into it. When they pull away Roy has a small smile on his face. “Wanna crawl into this shit bed with me and sleep?”

Roy smiles for real now. “With you? I’d do anything.”

The nurse finds them later and sees Roy’s phone sitting out. She takes a photo of Jamie curled on top of Roy who looks extremely peaceful.

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #jamie x roy #royjamie #jamie tartt x roy kent #roy kent x jamie tartt #fluff #thanks for the ask !!#love writing this was so cute #hope you like it !!

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havethetouch · 1 year

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"Forbidden Glimpse" - 2016/10

If you looked at this and suddenly got "!!! I remember the books/tv series!" awesome. Fuck yeh. Love yah. For those who don't, I got into the silverwing series by Kenneth Oppell as a teen, it was one of the first English Books I read and it sparked my love for reading books that were written in English in English instead of buying the translated versions. I did read the translated book of Silverwing too and it felt and read different bc you can't translate English word by word into German so yah no the English one hit different for me, hence why I started reading lotsa books in their original form instead. But aside from making me go "original language gimmie" the books were fucking awesome and at the time were I read those they actually aired the silvering cartoon too at some point and I freaked the fuck out- who remembers the fucking awesome website the cartoon had were you could play the flashgame???? HHHH. I am still deeply fond of these books and all these darling bats ok.

Anyway so for those who are not familar with the series - this scene is basically what kicks off the plot of the first book - bats are not allowed to look at the sun, so lil local runt Shade decides after being goaded into it by local bully Chinook to take just one glimpse at the sunrise and almost gets bodied by a huge ass owl because the owls are like.. super anal about teh rules and want to kill the rulebreaker and bäm hero's journey goes on from there.

#havethetouchart #artists of tumblr #traditional art #inks #anthro #furry #drawing #illustration #art #havethetouch #silverwing #silverwing books #kenneth oppell #shade silverwing #furry art #anthro art

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lettherebemonsters · 4 months

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@feathermushroom Sent me this for Kenneth and Phyllis!

domestic ship meme!

send me a ship and i’ll tell you:

who reaches out to new neighbors: Neither, though Phyllis would probably be more open to it than Kenneth.

who remembers to buy healthy food: Phyllis. She absolutely loathes junk food so she'll make sure their home is stocked full of good, healthy stuff.

who remembers to buy junk food: Kenneth. He loves junk food so it's definitely something he tends to go for more.

who fixes the oven when it breaks: Kenneth. He's definitely more hands-on in terms of fixing and maintaining stuff.

who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s): Both! Kenneth more for Maurice but even Phyllis has grown to like the old horse and helps feed him if Kenneth is out on a morning trial. But Phyllis definitely has a garden she keeps and LOVES tea gardens.

who wakes up earlier: Neither. Both love sleeping in so they both tend to wake up later.

who makes the bed: Phyllis. Kenneth is messy and a disaster at tidying up so Phyllis tends to be the one who fixes up the bed.

who makes the coffee: Kenneth. He makes coffee for him and Phyllis every morning.

who burns breakfast: Kenneth. While he's not a bad cook, he's not as skilled at it as Phyllis is and tends to burn things often. But he's getting better thanks to Phyllis teaching him how to do dishes.

how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house: Kenneth tends to be loud and boisterous when he's leaving, and Phyllis tends to sing her way out the door. But they're rarely away from each other unless a Trial is happening so they tend to be in the same area for the most part.

how do they greet each other when one of them gets home: Kenneth gives Phyllis a hug from the back, and kisses her on the cheek. Phyllis cuddles up to Kenneth while Dr. Futterman screams obscenities at the two. They're kind of lovey-dovey with each other in private.

who brings home little gifts like flowers/chocolates more often: Kenneth. He loves bringing Phyllis flowers and things for her when he comes back home from a Trial. It can be an awful time and he'll still find a way to make her smile.

who picks the movie for movie night: They both take turns picking movies. Sometimes they both watch one of Kenneth's home movies and things get VERY steamy (they're both EXTREMELY horny so yeah.....they get their freak on.)

their favorite kind of movie to watch: For Kenneth it's porn or horror or stuff like I Spit on Your Grave. Phyllis prefers cuter romance or cartoons but she devours porn like crazy.

who first suggests a pillow fort: Phyllis

who builds the pillow fort: Kenneth

who tries to distract the other during the move: Depends on the situation. Phyllis craves attention so she's a pest BUT if it's a very stressful situation then Kenneth is the one that distracts her to keep her mind off of what's stressing her out.

who falls asleep first: Phyllis. Kenneth takes longer to go to sleep and sometimes just enjoys cuddling before he falls asleep.

who is big spoon/little spoon: Phyllis is the big spoon, Kenneth is the little spoon. Though it changes a lot. After sex, Kenneth enjoys spooning Phyllis and hugs her close because he knows she has nightmares. So he reminds her that he's there.....and she'll never be alone again.

#mother knows best (phyllis futterman/mother gooseberry)#the dark carnival is in town! (kenneth chase “jeffrey hawk”/the clown)#christened on a tuesday! (memes)#feathermushroom

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buckttommy · 1 year

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awards shows have it wrong when they nominate angela bassett for 9-1-1. i love the woman, she is amazing, but she doesn't give her best work in the show, and tons of other performances stand out far more than hers. not complaining about her being nominated for stuff - but sometimes i think aisha, kenneth, ryan or oliver steals the show more. each of them have powerful performances they should have been nominated for. but i guess they aren't "mainstream" enough or something idk.

No, I agree. Before I say this, I want to make it clear that I am NOT devaluing the work she does on the show. She's Angela freaking Bassett, what more needs to be said? Having said that, though, I feel like when you're such a powerhouse, shows or mid-level movies just require minimal effort? Or maybe that's not the right way of putting it. But the level of effort is different — less challenging, maybe — than a massive undertaking of a film like Wakanda Forever. I fully believe in giving Angela her props where they're due, but I also feel like going to work on 911 is like a regular Tuesday for her. She's seasoned at this, is what I mean.

Meanwhile, you've got Oliver, Kenny, Ryan, Aisha, fucking Peter who give these insane performances and don't receive the same recognition for them. Awards and award shows aren't everything, I know that, I believe that, and I agree with that. But I can think of several performances (Ryan in 5x13, Peter and Oliver in 6x11, Kenny in 5x04 and him and JLH in 5x12, Aisha in 3x11 I think when the cello player dies, Tracie in 6x07, etc) on 911 that have really stood out to me that were performed by people other than Angela and their talent should be recognized too.

#jack answers mail

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piers-wifey · 2 years

Note

Could you do one were S.T.A.R.S team goes to do paintball and like who’ll win

You don’t have to do it just a suggestion

First of all, I'm so freaking sorry it took me so long to get this done. Writer's block was kicking my imaginary balls and I really couldn't come up with anything good. But now it's finally here and I really hope you like it. Thanks again for the suggestion, I hope you have a great day/evening/night.

────────────────────────────────────

Imagine going paintballing with the S.T.A.R.S. squad

────────────────────────────────────

🔫 The trip was Chris' idea. With the help of Jill and Forest, and an ungodly amount of luck, he managed to convince the others of his plan

🔫 The only reason Enrico and Wesker agreed to the trip is that they wanted to turn it into a 'Combat training' for both teams, which was fine with everyone

🔫 They were split into two teams; team A and team B. Both teams wear matching shirts so they can distinguish their 'friends' from their 'foes'

🔫 Enrico finds the idea it quite amusing, Wesker doesn't

🔫 Barry is probably the least competitive member and actually hesitates to shoot the other team

🔫 Joseph is receiving 'Booty shots' all the time. Especially Brad is very amused by it and shows absolutely no sympathy for our poor bandana boy (good for him)

🔫 Kevin, although he's a really good pilot, sucks at paintball. His shooting skills aren't bad or anything, it's just, well, he's one unlucky fella and always ends up getting shot no matter what

🔫 Kenneth only hit once, and of course it had to be one of his own teammates (it's okay, Kenny, you have other qualities)

🔫 No one, except Enrico, has the guts to shoot Wesker. It's nearly impossible to hit him anyway. His cat-like reflexes are just too powerful. Not to mention that, should you dare to shoot him, he'll have a field day with teaching you a lesson. And trust me, you absolutely do not want that

🔫 Forest tried it once and when I tell you he looked like he fell into a pot of yellow paint, I am absolutely not exaggerating. My man probably has a trauma now

🔫 Edward and Jill tend to take the whole "Team A against team B" rivalry a teeny tiny bit too seriously and end up going absolutely feral and shooting everything that moves

🔫 And yet Rebecca somehow managed to dodge all of the attacks. She's one lucky gal who, despite being as sweet as sunshine, turns out to be a quite dangerous opponent

🔫 She and Kevin team up and together they take down Joseph, who didn't stand a chance against them. RIP his colourful ass

🔫 To avoid getting his ass whooped by Forest, or God forbid Edward, Brad always stays close to Wesker

🔫 Although the whole trip was supposed to be a team bonding thingy, Forest and Chris spend most of their time shooting each other for funsies (My condolences to anyone who got caught in their crossfire. Especially you, Richard)

🔫 Richard got shot in the dick twice. The first time it was Chris and the second time, you guessed it, was Kenneth (Even I felt that. Ouch)

🔫 Enrico and Wesker end up having a 1v1 battle to finally settle who the better sharpshooter is

🔫 Unfortunately, this could never be determined as Kenneth managed to steal team A's flag, making team B the winner

~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @mirandawesker @dagrans @ravenrune @eviltothecore13 @sassiest-captain @aurorapink10 @main-character-vamp @silvevia @sevythebeanqueen

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anxi0us-0p0ssum · 1 year

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My thoughts on Ted Lasso S03E01

There are no “levels” in Breath Of the Wild.

Is Jan Maas just Dutch, or Dutch AND autistic?

Nice sidestepping of the whole “Hoosier” explanation. Not like EVERYONE OUTSIDE INDIANA (and probably 1/3 of Indiana residents) could use it.

Rebecca is going to go through the whole day with Keely’s mascara staining her shirt.

I know Roy doesn’t have to run because of his knee, but in my mind he would eat a bug just to freak the fuck out of the players.

Crying fucking sucks. My nose runs more than my eyes, and all I have afterwards are the same problems plus a sinus headache, puffy red eyes, and blotchy skin.

Hannah Waddingham chewing furiously is gold. She’s SO good at physical acting.

Rupert Mannion’s interior decorator was definitely a sith.

“It’s a good rule of thumb never to ask a hippie to come in on his day off.” I’d join this man’s cult any day.

Ted immediately turns to Beard for drug knowledge.

Beard immediately provides drug knowledge.

“He’ll be forever changed, but he can drive, yeah.”

“Roy Kent, is that you?” “Get fucked!” “Yeah, that’s him!”

“Get that on Twitter” should be up there with Chekov’s Gun and “what could go wrong?” in terms of foreshadowing.

If Keeley’s eye makeup can survive 6 dry cleans, it should damn well hold up to some tears.

No shit no lie, I think a tour of the London sewer system sounds fascinating!

$30-$50 is the sweet spot for a “good” bottle of wine. Anything less, it may be drinkable, but it’s not GOOD. Anything more, you’re just paying for snobbery’s sake.

“No sudden movements near the bus driver.” I want to party with Beard. I wonder if Jane’s into threesomes.

“I really liked that Kenneth guy. He seems really plugged in, yeah?” Again, I want to party with Beard.

“That nutter told me to ask the fucking earth to help me carry some of my burden.” I may just be stoned right now, but why did this dude’s cult get shut down?

Jamie is going to be a great team captain someday.

Ted, honey, stop. Stop hurting yourself. You’re getting personal and weird. Stop letting Nate live in your head, honey.

Oof, the way Ted lost the crowd on that hard left into the Field of Dreams.

Oh, they got Twin Peaks but they didn’t get Field of Dreams? 🙄

The entire Shelley family is so dysfunctional. No wonder Nate is so fucked up. Mom has no identity or ideas of her own. She exists only to communicate Dad’s feelings.

My partner thought Nate’s new car was a Jaguar. I will give him shit about this for the entire foreseeable future for no reason other than he loves James Bond and therefore should damn well know an Aston Martin when he sees one.

Part of me really wants Roy and Keeley to get back together but another part of me wants the show to continue subverting expectations and have them get along well platonically and another part of me is just screaming for Keeley/Roy/Jamie ot3 to become canon.

I don’t know a lot about kids, but it seems improbable to me that all these kids are so goddamn wise about relationships and politics.

I’m not sure the “why am I still in London?” really crystallized in Ted’s mind until that press conference/impromptu stand up show.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers

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chevelleneech · 9 days

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Why Eddie should NOT also have encephalitis.

One, it’d be excruciatingly lazy writing. We went through an entire episode of Chim suffering virus as he battled his inner demons, and Kenneth carried the fuck out of every scene. Having Eddie go through the exact same thing, just in a more drawn out way would be so… disrespectful, from a storytelling perspective. Because why not give that time to the character who establishes the virus being an issue in the first place?

As well, no matter what anyone says, Eddie is white Latino, so it’d also feel odd to me that they glossed over an Asian man getting a nice weighty plot line about grief and fear, just to give it to the same white man who has spent five seasons dealing with grief and trauma. Now, this isn’t me saying Eddie has to be over his issue already, but giving them the same virus yet giving Eddie a multi-ep arc over Chimney would be shitty.

Therefore, I think Eddie simply needs to be written as finally hitting rock bottom. Yes, we’ve seen him spiral and we’ve seen him broken down emotionally, but we haven’t seen him reach such a low point of self-sabotage. Whether Kim is meant to be Shannon’s doppelgänger or just a woman he is projecting her physicality on to, doesn’t matter. What matters is Eddie has reached a point on his grief and understanding of self, that he’s (if written well) lost control of his ability to process his feelings.

He likes Marisol before finding out she was a nun, and he’s clearly forcing himself to remain in a relationship with her, but being uncertain about her doesn’t give him permission to cheat. At the same time, I am very curious if he’s going to cheat at all.

It’s very possible Eddie met up with Kim to find out if Shannon has a li g lost twin or other family as we know sometimes cousins can be identical too. He could also tell Kim flat out that he lost his wife and she looks like him and he asked her out in an effort to see if she’d give him the closure he never got. Which would be very strange, but not out of the realm of possibility given again, he is likely not in control of how his grief is manifesting and he’s lost control of how to process it.

As well, if he does cheat, the same things apply. Eddie is looking for closure where he has no business being, and it’s not going to end well, I don’t think. For one, he lied to Buck and Marisol about it, so whether or not he cheats, I think they’ll both be hurt.

Marisol, obviously because he possibly cheats on her after freaking out about her past, but also he’s seeing his dead wife (look-a-like or projected) and that’s a difficult reality to swallow, when there’s so much grief and unsaid things left on the table.

Buck, because he believes Eddie to be his Person. They claim to go to each other with all their problems and trust each other implicitly, so imagine him finding out his best friend is in so much distress and grief still, that he couldn’t tell him he’s essentially seeing his dead wife. And if he does cheat, it becomes an issue that Eddie is spiraling so hard, he’s made Buck an unwilling accomplice in hurting Marisol after already telling Buck he isn’t sure about her. So it’s a matter of Buck having to figure out if Eddie is actually grief stricken or if he’s just using that to cheat, because Buck already knows he wanted to breakup with Marisol.

Regardless, there’s a lot of potential story here that would make so much sense, and I hope they do it well. This season has been so rocky with what feels like basically zero follow-through, so I’m not optimistic. Perhaps they’ll tie Eddie’s trauma into Bobby’s in order to do a cliffhanger? Idk, but if it’s just a cheating arc to get rid of Marisol, I’ll be disappointed.

#911 abc #eddie diaz

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geneseedraws · 1 year

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✨My book “All Tomorrow’s Photos” is out now!! ✨

Grab your copy today, click here to order!!

I just wanna say thank you to everyone here who has supported me, who's helped me get this far. From starting out just as my silly little OCs I drew, to actually writing a whole freaking book about them and legitimately publishing it! Well, two books technically, but only one book is available so far 😝

Either way!! I am still so happy the day is finally here and you all can read about Maurice and Kenneth 🥺🥺💕💖

✨Synopsis:✨

Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1974

Maurice is an art student majoring in photography, and has become so invested in his craft he built his own darkroom inside his house. He sees an artistic view in everything, even things the average person sees as disgusting or macabre. So much so, that he’s become a serial killer in order to fulfill his disturbing artistic projects.

But his murderous lifestyle gets flipped upside-down when he encounters a photo of the most beautiful man he’s ever seen.

Kenneth is a registered nurse living day by day a dreary, monotonous life. When his sister tells him someone from her class wants him to be their model for the next school project, Kenneth takes a chance by trying something new.

Little do the two men realize that meeting each other will set their hearts on fire, falling madly in love, changing their lives forever.

[All Tomorrow’s Photos is Book One of a duology. It is a dark MM romance story not intended for a young audience. Contains graphic depictions of violence(blood and gore), and explicit sexual content.]

#all tomorrow's photos #bookblr #writeblr #mm romance #1970s #maurice rogers #my ocs

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himbos-hotline · 10 months

Note

AU: Kenny I shrunk The Bucks has got to be the most HILARIOUS thing ever. I'm sitting here giggling like a FOOL!

PLEASE tell me Jay Paints the lids of their jars?! FOR ENRICHMENT KENNY! DUH!

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Jay feels bad about keeping her brothers in jars because "he looks so sad....kenny fix it!" "what do you want me to do?! thats just matts face!" "is it?" "yeah like how hanger always looks sad" "fuck you too kenneth"

so the bucks get a little dollshouse to share [Jay ruins so many hotel pillows making mattresses and beds for them and thank god for claudio knowing how to sew and make things] and Cole gets an entire barbie dreamhouse that no she doesnt share with the bucks because "its mine MINE MINE!!" and its just so much fun. Everyone comes up with different exuses why the bucks and cole arent wrestling

The bucks ride on jays rabbit hemmy and considering that kenny was left alone with them while in ohio and Jays house [insert mox going: who the fuck moves to ohio here] Kenny is freaking out that the bucks have gotten lost n this like three bedroom house and then its just "weeee" and Hemlock bouncing past.

nobody tels jay about the missing young bucks incerdent

Jay would so paint their jars for enrichment and would hang like shoelaces so the bucks can swing on them and Jay has so much fun stabbing air holes into the jar lids safely away from everyone else and totally not danamging the hotel coffee table

#mouse has pals #kat nip #au: kenny i shrunk the bucks

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sansxfuckyou · 6 months

Text

the only bone in our body that we share is the one that likes Kyle

Summary: Wherein Kennedy McCormick and Kenneth McCormick have to make the most of their universes deciding to fade into each other once more, thankfully, a stack of playboys and a case of root beer keeps them distracted from the existential dread of being one and the same.

Warnings: suggestive themes (they critique playboys together), swearing, implied character death, check Ao3 port for full tags

Authors Note: I know exactly what possessed me to write this (category seven lesbian event) and I don't know why it ended up over 1K words. I hope ya'll enjoy and if you do consider dropping a reblog or checking out the Ao3 port, it really means a lot

Waking up in a bedroom with some blondie that looks both nothing and everything like her was not on Kenny's list of plans for the day. He's standing on the other side of the room, presumably freaking out, and she is in a very similar position.

The bed creaks under her weight as she presses herself against the wall. This is her room, almost everything is the same down to the stack of playboys on the bedside table. She lingers on that for a second too long and hopes he doesn't notice.

"Okay, I don't know who, or what you are, but this is my room," Kenny spat boldly, confidently, try too at least. The sense of sheer terror and confusion underneath it all is very, very strong and probably showing through at least a little bit.

He pauses his terror, "Look, lady, this is my room. Owned by Kenneth 'Kenny' McCormick, middle child and poor kid."

"Funny, cause I have a room just like this, except it belongs to me," She said and she hopes her smirk is convincing, "I'm Kennedy 'Kenny' McCormick, also the middle child and the poor kid."

There's a beat of silence.

"This is that stupid multiverse Cartman was screaming about, isn't it?" She asked.

Kenny nodded, "Gotta be."

"I should go find Kyle," Kenny stepped down from the bed and grab the magazine on top of the stack, "Taking this for good luck."

"Like hell you are! I haven't even taken out the pin up yet!" Kenny snapped.

She raises a brow, "You haven't?" Fingers tease at the edge of the pages.

"It just came in the mail," Kenny said quietly.

"Well then," Kenny said before flipping it open and paging to the average section where the pin-ups where. She tugged the pages taut rather gently, being careful to avoid tearing the pages. There's a slow nod as she flips the magazine and traces down the picture, "This month is looking nice."

Kenny doesn't even know what to say, the hot chick version of himself just landed in his bedroom and now she's criticizing his playboys. Not even criticizing, just, commentating on them. He's speechless, "We're gonna need to find a different name for you if you're gonna be stuck here for a while."

"Kelsey, sounds similar enough," The ravenette said, refusing to raise her glance from the playboys.

Kenny crossed his arms bitterly, "Are you gonna hog it, or am I gonna get a chance to see it?"

That snapped her out of it, "Yeah, totally man," She flipped it shut and tossed it over to him, the desperation on his actions to catch it was humorous.

He carefully placed it on top of the stack and straightened it out. He needs to have some class, sure, he's being abruptly visited by himself, and if they are the same her room is just as much a shit show as his. But he needs to at least try. He turns to face her and she's smirking, "What's so funny?"

"Dude, you and I both know you have a dildo under the bed, you don't have to stack your playboys nice," Kelsey accused and Kenny's face flared up bright red.

"I do not have a dildo under my bed," Kenny said defensively.

She raised a brow.

He gave a small huff before picking up a playboy, "I'm not having this discussion with you," He sits down and flips it open.

"I'm just joking, promise," Kelsey said, she even gave the girl scout honor.

"Fine," Kenny tossed aside the magazine, "What do you want to do then?"

"You're me, right?" Kelsey asked.

Kenny nodded, "Supposed to be."

"Then you must be thinking what I'm thinking," She gave a small smirk.

Kenny stood up and held out a hand, "You better be right about the 'thinking the same stuff' thing."

Kelsey grabbed his hand and stood up, "Lead the way, and I can almost assure you I'm right about it."

-/-/-/-

"This is not what I had in mind at all," Kelsey said.

Kenny gives a hum, "In a good way or a bad way?"

"A good way," She tilted her head a little bit more to get a better view through those massive windows in front of the gym. Her eyes stuck to the various women working out, fuck, she'd love to be in there, say hi and the such. Her pace slows, "Maybe even a great way."

Kenny kicks at her ankles a bit, "The security guard in there hates me already, can't get caught loitering out front."

"What did you too him?" Kelsey asked as she followed Kenny past the perfect window. She could stand there for days.

"He threatened to throw me out and I flirted back," Kenny said nervously as he led his counterpart down the sidewalk.

"You fucking what?" Kelsey asked, sheer disbelief heavy on her voice.

"I called him daddy," Kenny choked out quietly, shame impossibly clear on his voice, "He really didn't like being called daddy."

Kelsey nearly breaks out laughing, it'd be weird to just start wheezing with intense laughter in the middle of the sidewalk which is really the only reason she doesn't. Instead she just grins, "Dude."

"Worst day of my fucking life," Kenny said, "I swear to god, I'd rather die then face him again."

"Well how else are we gonna look at anyone in that gym if you're pissing your pants scared over a security guard?" Kelsey asked.

Kenny smirked rather impishly, "You see, there are benches nearby right? That little court for smoking or eating or just sitting down, what we do is we get a subway and then we sit down, eat a sandwich and watch."

"I like the way you think, Kenny," Kelsey said, "Shocked I didn't think of it first."

"You're in the womans rights hyper diverse universe, it makes sense your mind hasn't been blown open to horny nineteen year old white boy levels of desperate, Kelsey," Kenny said matter-of-factly, "There are books under my name in how to be respectful and classy yet pervy."

"That includes buying the pretty girl subways right?" Kelsey asked.

"It's always classy to buy the pretty girl subways," Kenny answered with a roll of his eyes, "I wouldn't classify you as such considering you're me, but, I'll still buy a subway for you."

"Thanks,"

"I doubt they'll take a dollar bill if George Washington has tits in the picture anyways," Kenny tacked on before the kindness of the offer can make itself clear.

She punched him in the shoulder, "Not cool."

"And you know I'm right too," He countered with before pushing open the subway doors.

"I don't even know if I have any money to use, I don't usually fall asleep with my wallet in my pocket," Kelsey said.

"Neither do I," He reached absently for her hand.

"Gay," Kelsey said quietly, the shock at the accusation made him retract his hand.

"How the fuck is that gay?" Kenny asked.

"It's always gay to hold hands with a dyke," Kelsey said nonchalantly.

Kenny feels his heart stop dead in it's tracks for a brief moment. He sweeps away an entire category of thoughts he should not have been having about a different version of himself. He pulls out his wallet, "That tracks, tuna sub?"

"Tuna sub," Kelsey repeated back at the blonde.

-/-/-/-

"You wanna know my favorite place in my South Park Colorado?" Kelsey asked before taking a chunk out of her sub.

Kenny gives a hum and a nod, glancing between the gym and Kelsey.

"The beach," Kelsey said, "That or the girls changing room at the pool, but, you've never been in there before."

"Yeah, I'll never get in either," Kenny said bitterly, "I've only heard tales of what it's like in there- women, clean floors, women, individual stalls."

"The floors are just as clean as the guys locker room floors, don't worry," Kelsey said, "But yeah, the amount of women is definitely way more than what you've ever seen in a single room."

"No need to brag about it," Kenny said and she laughed.

"I'm not bragging, I'm just telling you how awesome my life is," Kelsey said.

"Do you wanna sit out here and watch the show, or head back to my place? Our place. Your place- the place," He rambled briefly before tearing another chunk out of his sub and glaring at Kelsey.

"We should get some root beer before we head back," Kelsey said as she stood up and brushed down her jeans.

"Why not real beer?" Kenny asked.

"Clerks at the beer store are less prone to fall for a promise of getting some than gas station clerks," Kelsey explained, "It's a two person operation, I distract, you snatch."

"I like the sounds of that," He grinned as rewrapped his sub and stuffed it in a pocket, "We should hurry, the new guys shift ends in an hour. He gives me discounts, some people get off for free."

"Someone who works at a gas station lets you just, have stuff for free?" Kelsey asked, "That would never fly in my universe, 'everyone has to play their role into making the world a better place' sort of stuff, and that includes paying bullshit amounts of money for chocolate. It's fucking stupid."

"Sounds stupid," Kenny said, pivoting on a heel to face his counterpart as he spoke. He raised his hands to rest behind his head, "So, what do you wanna do when we get back?"

"You have a Genesis right?" Kelsey asked.

Kenny nodded, "Obviously, it still does what Nintendon't to this very day," He rolled his eyes a bit. Of course he still had the Sega Genesis, definitely because he wanted too and not because he couldn't afford anything newer.

"We could play Mean Bean Machine," Kelsey offered, "You have the cartridge right?"

"I don't know if it works anymore after a terrible event of Kevin spilling a beer on it," Kenny said wistfully, "It probably will cause those things are built like fucking bricks."

"It definitely will," Kelsey added on in agreement to the sentiment.

-/-/-/-

"Well that's a fucking shame," Kenny said as the error message popped up on his TV screen.

Kelsey gives a hum, rolling to rest on her stomach. Kenny sat with his back pressed against the bed frame, her head rested on crossed arms as she lounged on his bed. She ruffles up his hair, "Shit happens, hand me one of those playboys."

"Which year?" Kenny asked as he tugged a couple boxes from under his bed. Each one had a label on it with a range of years, even going back to issue one in the year of fifty three.

Kelsey shrugged, "Whichever one is best."

"That, my lesbian friend, is a loaded question," Kenny said stiffly, "Personally, I like the earlier ones. The photo quality has a certain artistic sense that Cartman's been trying to emulate with his own photos, a sort of fuzzy, almost grainy look."

Kelsey nodded.

"The newest ones have all colored photos right? But they're up to the metaphorical tits in advertisements, it's kind of discouraging," Kenny said as he reached for a box labeled as '2000-2005' and popped it open, "I bookmarked the best pages."

Kelsey reached for issue number one, "I never got my hands on this one."

"It's got Marilyn Monroe," Kenny said with a nod of approval.

Kelsey flipped to the pinup, "For the first one ever taken, it's really nice."

"It's vintage, but classy," Kenny said as he pulled a couple issues from a series of boxes, "If you're anything like me, you'll enjoy these issues."

"Right, and what makes you so sure I am?" Kelsey asked as she closed the booklet and placed it back into the box carefully.

"On the count of three we'll say the hottest thing possible," Kenny offered, "One, two, three-"

"Big boobs,"

It's unanimous and the synchronization garners a bit of a laugh from the both of them.

"Jeez man, aside from you being a dude we're damn near exactly the same," Kelsey said as she reached for a can of root beer which Kenny tossed to her.

"Just about," Kenny answered with as he popped open a can of his own and changed the cartridge in the Genesis, "Sonic 2 still works."

Kelsey took a swig of root beer before reaching for the controller, "Hand it over noob."

Just to spite her Kenny holds the controller a little bit tighter and starts up the game. He jumps in the first pit available even though it hurts him as much as it hurts his counterpart.

"You suck at this," Kelsey said, pulling up a different playboy to sift through as she watched Kenny play.

"Am not," Kenny said as he expertly sped through act one.

Kelsey gives a hum, "Are too," She takes a small sip of root beer, "This pinup is real good."

"Lemme see," Kenny said as he leaned back his head, it partially rested on the small of Kelsey's back. She flipped showed him the page, "The lighting in that one is fucking phenomenal."

Kelsey nodded, "It really adds more depth to the curves."

"One of the issues from '54 has a chick lounging on a tiger pelt, if my memory serves me well," Kenny said as he made his way into act two, he crossed one leg over the other.

"I never got that issue," Kelsey mused as she grabbed another magazine.

"Only reason I got it is because of a free pile," Kenny mused.

"These things are outlawed where I'm from, the whole playboy organization is a black market thing," Kelsey said, "You could get thrown in jail for owning them."

"They're fucking what?" Kenny asked as he paused his game and turned to face Kelsey.

"Yeah, cause they exploit females and show favoritism towards white women," She mimicked the law with a roll of her eyes, "It's bullshit! Where's a girl supposed to find some tasteful nudes if not from the playboy pinups?"

"That is stupid, that is so monumentally stupid," Kenny spat venomously, "I'll make photocopies of the pinups for you before you leave."

"I'll get thrown in the brig for photocopies," Kelsey said.

"If you really are me we both know you have a nude photograph that Kyle gifted you on your eighteenth birthday," Kenny accused.

"I do not have a nude photo of Kyle," Kelsey said defensively.

He raised a brow, "You keep it in an envelope taped to the underside of your bed because you're afraid you'll get in trouble if anyone finds it. The difference is that in your world you could probably get thrown in jail for having a nude of your best friend, long-term crush."

"You're right," Kelsey said quietly, voice heady with shame, "And if you're me you'll never confess to them either."

Kenny nodded, "Yeah."

There's a beat of uncomfortable silence.

"Do you want me to photocopy the pinups for you?" Kenny asked, "Cause I will risk my access to the library for you to print them."

"Definitely, I'd rather get thrown in jail for a room plastered with pinups than the odd playboy here and there," She punched his shoulder gently before yanking the controller out of his hands, "Can I have two copies of the Marilyn Monroe?"

Kenny pulled out the remaining boxes and started sifting through them, "Totally, got a friend?"

"Promised Clyde I'd find her some nudes for her birthday, I think she'll appreciate a Marilyn Monroe," Kelsey said as she played through the level.

Kenny gives a hum, "Everyone appreciates a Marilyn Monroe, especially one as artful as this."

The sound effect of rings scattering breaches the calm, "Fuck!"

"Died?" Kenny asked smugly.

"Shut up," Kelsey spat back as she narrowed her eyes at the blonde. She tossed down the corded controller, "We should go find Kyle."

"Which one?" Kenny asked.

"My Kyle, she probably isn't even here," There's a heavy sigh, "We should visit any Kyle, they always know what to do."

"Kyle is definitely the smartest person I know," Kenny said.

"Oh you'd love my Kyle, she's smart, pretty, tall- the whole package," Kelsey said with a bit of a dreamy sigh.

"Probably, there's a certain charm to ginger basket ball player," Kenny said, "He's so strong too."

"My Kyle could definitely hit the weights if she wanted too," Kelsey said with a hum.

"My Kyle could bench press me if he so desired, he gives the best piggy back rides," Kenny slumped further against the bed, "This one time his little brother Ike tried to teach me how to make maple syrup snow taffy- some Canadian bullshit like that, I was raiding Kyle's pantry for months after that."

"My Kyle's little sister Aika taught me how to make a killer poutine," Kelsey said as she eased into the mattress a bit more, "I got food poisoning and died but it was really fucking good."

"Food poisoning death is always so lame," Kenny said, "At least Kyle didn't remember watching you wretch until you died, I'm pretty sure my Kyle is catching onto the deaths."

"At least your Cartman didn't spill pictures of when you got fucked to death," Kelsey said bitterly, "She's kind of a douche."

"We definitely didn't get fucked to death the same way," Kenny said, "I sucked dick so hard it ruptured my throat," He pointed to stitch marks on his neck, "These are from them trying to save me."

Kelsey gives a hum, "Someone sat on my face so hard she broke my neck," She gestures to the fracture like scar on the back of her neck, "It was a heck of a way to go."

There's another pause before a shared question enters the air.

"It was Kyle wasn't it?"

They laugh again, of course it was Kyle. Of course they both share the perpetrators of their oral sex deaths, an odd thought to cross their minds, but a fair notion.

"What about the auto-erotic asphyxiation death?" Kenny asked.

"Oh yeah, that was a doozy," Kelsey answered with.

"Fuck man," There's a breath of relief, "I haven't been able to tell anyone about that.

"Neither have I! Not even Kyle remembers killing me," Kelsey said as she flipped onto her back, "It's shitty."

"At least we can be Mysterion and put the damn curse to good use," Kenny offered desperately, a fact they both knew, it didn't really make either of them feel over the moon about their curse. It just softened the terrible edge like a painkiller just a bit too weak.

Kelsey nodded, "Yeah, at least we can be Mysterion."

Kenny stiffly takes a sip of his root beer, "Wanna head out and look for our Kyle's?"

"Naw, let's rate some more playboys instead," Kelsey said, "I haven't seen half of the issues you have."

"It's so fucking stupid they're outlawed in your universe," Kenny scoffed as he tossed some up to Kelsey who was flipping through eagerly, kicking her feet just a bit.

"At least I ended up here so I could get some quality images burned into my head," Kelsey said, ruffling up Kenny's hair once again.

#south park #joining the panderverse #south park into the panderverse #panderverse kenny #kenny mccormick #south park fanfiction #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #tw suggestive #tw swearing #tw death mention

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piglet26 · 2 years

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What I loved about Thor: L&T

Where do I start? Cause I loved it hell I've seen it twice. Yes, it could have been 30 minutes longer. I'm ignoring the obvious media campaign against (Rotten Tomatoes Seriously?! Who cares?) and the UTube reviewer bro squad that's disappointed it's not the "R" word all over again. Like damn, get over it!

Jane! Jane is the heart and soul of this movie. Sadly, it became obvious that no director with the exception of Kenneth from Thor 1 was interested in developing her character. Like no one! Not the Russos, not Joss Whedon, not Alan Taylor and not Marvel. You give me a legend and I’d find something to do with her but that's just me *checks nails* So someone send Taika a fruit basket! In phase 1,2,3 female characters were underdeveloped plot devices (See Black Widow) Jane is someone you want to root for! We see her not only be vulnerable and weak but strong and loyal. We see her fight two battles, one against cancer and one against Gorr. You wanted her to survive and to live on to fight with Thor. When she died people in the theater cried and people were genuinely upset/shocked that she died. That’s a hero regardless of gender. Thor loses yet another person and this time it’s the love of his life. She also doesn’t receive a personality transplant; she's still the same space chick just muscled. Jane wasn’t just ill, she also looked ill and it was great! She didn’t have to look like a model all the time. I loved Jane fighting with Mew-Mew. The general consensus? Everyone wanted more of her story.

Fosterson? Thane? Thor and Jane. I’m here for it! I always liked them together but now I'm shipping them. She didn’t replace Thor as people feared. It wasn’t a passing of the hammer. They were truly equals. He protected her and she protected him. They both brought their individual strengths to the story. The entire world seemed to want to know why they broke up and that got answered in a realistic way. Watching them in love in their montage was cute! I appreciate that Taika was very aware of the criticism towards the couple. Yes, they are different but it works! General consensus? We wanted more of them.

Christian freaking Bale as Gorr the God Butcher. Wow. What an actor. He spooked me out and yet I delighted in him. He was born out of rage and heartbreak. I was hoping he would be in at least two movies. He’s a compelling character. Loved that he and Jane had their fatal parallels. Fate answered them with weapons. Jane got Mew-Mew and Gorr got the necrosword. Where Mew-Mew gave Jane agency and the power to do good. The necrosword was a tool for Gorr’s grief and revenge. General consensus? We would have wanted this parallel to be explored more.

The battle in the shadow realm was stunning! I’m actually really annoyed it wasn’t longer. I know it was longer because it had more violence and that was something that had to be cut down on. General consensus? We wanted more.

Valkyrie and Jane! This little friendship was cute, and I liked it. Valkyrie didn’t annoy me which was surprising. She annoyed me in Ragnarok (Yes, I know I’m one of the minorities)

The music choices were surprising, and I really liked them. As someone who lived for G&R it was great. I love the 80s. I love that the 80s are having a revival.

This film has some pretty ballsy themes like loss of faith, increase in worshiping celebrity heroes, nihilism, making the most of your life and courage in the face of mortality. It’s a marvel summer blockbuster movie; they aren’t going to go fully into it. I’m still impressed.

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