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#Jason Bond
ditzybat · 1 month
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jason: what’s your darkest secret?
tim: i wrote the most kudos’d superbat fanfic on ao3
damian: i was his beta reader
jason: first you steal my costume, now you steal my spot as most kudos’d fic?!
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audhd-nightwing · 4 months
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dick grayson (5’10” with the body of a gymnast): this is my baby brother!
jason todd (6’3” brick wall of muscle): …hi
***
cass wayne (5’5” with the body of a dancer): little brother!
jason (almost a whole foot taller than her): hiya cass
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deadsetobsessions · 3 months
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Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.
“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”
God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.
Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.
“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”
“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”
“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”
Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.
“What happened?!”
“My word, master Danny!”
“What is it?!”
“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”
Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.
“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”
“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.
“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.
“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”
The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.
“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”
“Danny.”
“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.
“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.
Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.
“Sorry.”
“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.
“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”
Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…
“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”
“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.
“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”
The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.
“Done.”
“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”
“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”
“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”
“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”
“Very well.”
“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.
——
“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”
“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.
“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”
“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”
Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.
“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”
“Tt.”
“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”
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violent138 · 23 days
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Damian: "Red Hood has a pretty severe concussion. What do I do?"
Tim: "Extraction's still ten minutes out, just keep him talking."
Damian, urgently pressing the comm: "I don't want to talk to him, he's even more insufferable than usual."
Jason, lying on the ground, eyes closed: "That's funny Junior, because head trauma's the only thing that makes you bearable."
Damian, to Tim: "I'm leaving. It won't be the first time we've had a closed casket."
Tim, groaning disgustedly: "Robin--ugh, seriously, just stay there and keep him awake."
Damian, seething even more when he sees Jason's smirk: "Fine."
Jason, cracking open one eye: "Aww, are you concerned about me?"
Damian: "Shut up. The only thing I'm concerned about is our family's reputation after your public wipeout on that stupid motorcycle."
Jason:
Damian: "Are you still awake?" *kicks him* "Todd?"
Jason, grinning: "You said our family."
Damian, furious: "I didn't. You've lost more brain cells than you could afford."
Jason: "Wait 'till Tim hears, I think he'll want a group hug. Bruce is probably going to get emotionally constipated. Dickie would probably cry--"
Damian, panicking as he hears the Batmobile get closer: "Stop. Do not tell him--"
Jason: "You better erase every single fucking video of me crashing then."
Damian: "You have a deal."
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frownyalfred · 1 month
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Jason: so I forgot about Father’s Day
Bruce:
Jason: okay, I didn’t forget about it. I didn’t know what to get you. but then it suddenly came to me, so.
Jason: *places large, bloodstained bag of broken computer parts on table*
Bruce: are those—
Jason: —the hard drives from the Russian case you’re working on? yeah. it took me a couple days, but I managed to get all of them. I know you were having trouble tracking them all down.
Bruce:
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somecallmekay · 1 year
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Dick is an acrobat, which means that, compared to the rest of the bats, he's one of the lighter ones. Additionally, since he was a trapeze artist, plus his years as Robin, this means he can always, ALWAYS, stick the landing. Jason, on the other hand, is the resident tank build, which means he's the heaviest with the most strength in the arms, rivalling that of Batman himself easily. With that in mind, I present my thesis. If Nightwing is annoying Red Hood, especially in front of Commissioner Gordon, Red Hood just throws Nightwing off of the building. While on the surface it seems cold hearted of Jason, he actually knows and trusts Dicks enough to know he'll be fine, and Dick could scurry away before Jason could grab him, but chooses not to. It's a way the brothers bond. Additionally, Jason sometimes does it around the manor, but only through open windows, because Alfred doesn't appreciate needing to replace them every week.
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samthechaotic · 1 month
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Tim: Whenever I face a horrible situation, I ask myself "what would Jason do?" and do the exact opposite.
Damian: For the first, and probably last, time in your life Drake, you're right.
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bloopy-writes · 2 months
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Headcanon that Dicks apartment is the ultimate sibling meeting spot and each of his siblings have left their own mark in it:
Jason has shelves specifically filled with his novels for the nights he sleeps over and wants something to read
Duke has a bunch of rare collectible items that he stores cuz he trusts dick to keep them safe and thinks they make the place look homey
Tim has a big bulletin board that he puts his photography on and updates it occasionally
Cass has magnets from each country she visited on her trips
Steph has a bunch of random items that are all in the shade of Spoiler Purple in every room
Damian has his artwork hung up in every room as well as a collection of swords secretly stashed somewhere in the apartment
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My take on stalker!Tim:
Robin!Jason gets distracted during a patrol and doesn’t meet up with Batman, who panics is mildly concerned. Jason doesn’t want to reveal the real reason he got distracted (could be something he was working on for Bruce or just him being a cute baby nerd) so he makes something up the spot. A kid! He saw a kid. It was definitely child shaped. And. Uh. Photography! That’s right, he saw a kid taking photos and made sure he got home safe.
Batman: Photography?
Robin!Jason: Yeah, uh, nighttime photography.
Batman: At midnight?
Robin: I mean, it’s not a school night.
Batman: What were they taking pictures of?
Robin, panicking and going to the first thing he can think of ch just so happens to be last Sunday when Dick called Bruce an emotionally repressed furry: Uh, wildlife?
Bruce is skeptical but honestly he’s seen weirder things even tonight so as long as the kid got home safe…
Jason proceeds to use this same excuse a few more times.
Batman: Don’t tell me, it was the kid again.
Robin!Jason: You just missed him.
Batman, who isn’t feeling strong parental feelings at all: Hrn.
Okay so then fast forward a few years. Jason is on his little murder training gap year and Tim has shown up to the manor trying to fix the disaster that is currently Bruce Batman Wayne. Dick, trying to bond with the kid now that it’s apparent he’s not going anywhere, asks what Tim’s interests are.
Tim: Well, I like photography, and…
Dick, putting two and two together and getting forty-seven: Ohmygosh you’re the kid.
Tim: The what now?
Dick: The kid with the wildlife photography.
Tim, thinking about that one competition he entered a year ago: Uh, I guess?
Dick thinks that’s how Tim figured out all their identities. He thinks he has it all figured out. He does not. Bruce now thinks he has it figured out too. He does not. Tim is unaware there was something to be figured out. Jason is off learning the finer points of poisoning or something idk.
So skip forward some more and Jason is back, minus some murder attempts or whatever because this is crack, and Dick is now trying to get his two brothers comfortable with each other. It is not working. Finally, Dick remembers they’ve definitely met before.
Dick: So, do you remember meeting Tim before?
Jason, whose memory resembles Swiss cheese but is fairly certain he never met Tim before now: Uh…
Dick: He’s the kid! The one with the wildlife photography!
Jason, suddenly remembering the excuse he used several times as Robin: The what now?
Tim, knowing full well that Jason was very dead at the time he submitted anything in a wildlife category: The what now?
Jason pulls Tim into a hall closet to interrogate him about this.
Tim: There’s like five rooms right here that no one has stepped in in a month. Why are we in a closet?
Jason: What, exactly, did Dick mean by you were the one with the wildlife photography, because I’m pretty sure that was just an excuse I made up but now I don’t know.
They figure it out. They also agree to just let that belief be. Jason doesn’t want to admit he made that all up. Tim doesn’t want to admit he thought Dick had gone to his art competition thing before they even officially met. Tim also doesn’t want to explain how he actually figured out their identities because this sounds way cooler. So they decide to just roll with it.
Damian shows up and tries to hunt down Tim’s early photos of Batman. Tim and Jason get really into making it look like he just keeps missing it. Barbara knew about all of this the entire time but no one asked her so she didn’t bother to fill them in.
Everyone else that joins the family after that point and hears the story of Jason and Tim supposedly meeting while Jason was Robin has the exact same response: “Oh, ‘cause Batman’s a furry. Right.”
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Jason: the Batfam member I see most as my brother is Tim
Dick: What!!! That's no fair, I should be your brotherly-ist brother!
Dick: No offense Timmy.
Dick, turning back to Jason: But I am the one who has been your brother longest, I helped you kill that druglord, I even gave you some of my cookie dough last week!
Bruce: uhhh, back to the druglord thing-
Steph: You shared your cookie dough with him!
Jason: Sorry Dick, but there is one thing that makes you brothers more than anything else, not blood, or time, but...
Jason and Tim at the same time: Contempt
Jason: I have contempt for Tim, like all siblings should. Really the only thing I love more than hating Tim is shit talking other people with Tim. That form of contempt is how siblings bond and I will just say, surprisingly I love bonding with Tim even more than I love terrorizing Tim
Tim: aww, I didn't know we were that close
Jason, panicking cause he doesn't wanna ruin their dynamic: *punches Tim in the gut and runs out*
Tim, shouting after him: You can't take it back now, you ass
Jason: *turns around while running to give Tim the middle finger*
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puppetmaster13u · 1 month
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Prompt 266
Back on my Danny & Ras frienemies/rivals/maybe-lovers-nobody-can-tell-their-signals-are-very-mixed train. 
See, Danny has gone through time a lot. Often. It comes with being Clockwork’s charge-son-thing and honestly he finds it fun. And several times he’s used this time travelling to get some training in. Enter Ras, stage left, also a teen at the time and also learning swordsmanship from the same person. 
And they… utterly despise each other. They would kill the other for an apple slice, if the other one would die! But also, only they can kill the other, as it is obviously their right! 
And well, they keep running into each other. It has been a hundred years, surely the other would die by now? But of course their rival would live through utter spite. Probably to spite them specifically. 
The amount of times they have ended up sparring- trying to kill each other or not- the moment they see the other is actually ridiculous. But time is also passing. And… Danny understands, not having another to talk about things people are forgetting, or have already forgotten. 
How they ended up actually talking without a murder attempt was a long story that included a demon, a dragon, a pair of fae, some bandits, and a lot of alcohol, but it happened. And then it happens again. And again, and now it’s just kind of normal to share a drink after their spars, talking about things that no longer exist, and things they miss. 
Sure Danny can go back in time again, but he knows better than to do it willy nilly. He’s matured, he’s been an adult for a hundred years now, he knows there’s consequences for messing with time, even with Clockwork’s blessings. 
The first time they got married was technically for an undercover assassination. Well, Ras was there to assassinate someone, Danny was there to grab an artifact that should Not be in the realm of the living. And they got divorced after, it was fine. 
They just, also got married again when they met a few years later, for another job. And… okay, so maybe they have gotten married over a dozen times now and only divorced like half of those times. Half of those were for the bit or while drunk! 
And even if technically they’re married or shared a bed, it’s not like they're exclusive! As Ras’ daughters’ existences attest to (adopted in one case or not). They don’t exactly have a label for their relationship, despite others asking for one or trying to put a name to it themselves. 
Now Danny knows Ras isn’t exactly a good dude, or at least on the side of ‘good’ as he’s a literal assassin. But he also knows that good? Bad? Rather relative. He had gotten labeled as a villain when he was just trying to help all that time ago after all, and really who was he to tell someone else how to live their life? 
Which brings him to now, where he’s run into his old frienemy-rival and his youngest daughter. Who has a braindead teenager and a small toddler. Which is fine, really- but also, Talia dear, why are you using a brain dead teenager to guard your three year old son? 
Okay, Talia dear, Ras (Derogatory), why are you using your brain dead son and grandson to guard your younger son and grandson? Do you not have the Pits, which you were soo proud about Ras? Yes, he will spar with you, but for Realms’ sake, heal, what’s his name? Ah yes, go heal Jason and he’ll actually stick around for a few years, deal? Good. 
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emdeerm · 4 months
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I'm a Grandpa? Again?!
My brain got away from me. srry
This might be a horrible, horrible idea that will have so many butterfly and directs effects on the DC canon that I know nothing about but...
Consider this: Bruce is Danny's clone/test-tube baby.
Danny has lived for many, many years and somewhere along the lines, he got his DNA stolen again (in his human form mind you) by someone and they made a clone/baby (most likely cause the child would destabilise without more DNA. Human Danny is just 1/3 of the DNA he has). Maybe the League and Ra's is responsible. Maybe some other party I have no knowledge about. Maybe it was GIW. But it happens.
Anyway, whoever succeeded, had some intentions with the clone if it had powers. He did not. Was a failure and was dumped as a 3yo in Gotham. Tom and Martha Wayne found him and adopted the child.
Now, Danny doesn't know it. He just goes around, living his best life with his partner/(s), works somewhere new every 5-6 years or so, trying out new professions when he wants. When his DNA got yonked, he was a practicing cook. By the time Batman is old enough with all his kids he is a doctor or something.
Let's throw in the Ghost King for fun. Love the trope. Could be just him being a super strong and respected Ghost in the Realms who helps himself to Pariah's treasury. Not like the guy needed it anyway.
So, YEARS pass. All parties are unaware. Meta human protection happens. Ecto Acts get ruled out automatically by the Government somewhere in a list of all stuff that change. The Ghosts haven't been sighted for over 30 years. The Government disbanded GIW wven esrlier just cause they were a moneh draining leach. The JL didn't even pay that much attention honestly (let's say Batman wasn't there for some reason to check the final copy), just one more thing that changed for the better in their eyes.
So, Danny and his kind are now legally in the clear. Does he so something with it? Well, not much. Just uses his powers more freely. His rogues don't find the Living Realm all that interesting now and just come to Phantom to play. Except Sculker. That ass is still unbearable.
...
I got sidetracked from my original idea. Anyway-
...
Damian in school has to do the ancestory assignment. And finds out that he has a weird relation to this Random DudeTM. (Maybe Tom's and Martha's DNA was indeed used in the process of creation. Who knows, maybe it was their doing all along in the name of Doctor Science. Idk. All options are fun) Came out of nowhere. The relation is unclear too.
That gets brought up to Father. Father is surprised. Investigation happens.
The Bats are flabbergasted by the results.
Danny gets the news that he is a surprise Granpa again (Dani was the first one to come with a grandchild out of nowhere. Adopted. You know what? Let it be Cass. Let her have a traveling super mom).
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"Let's play a game of 'How well do you know your kids?'" The being shouted, eyebrow still twitching from Robins latest remark.
"I know all my children perfectly." Batman growled at the entity. He held his ground as the spirits (demons?) smile sharpened, "Than you won't mind!"
A puff of purple glowy smoke engulfs then entire area and the next thing anyone knows is that all of Bruces children, even the ones who weren't with them previously, are locked inside magical cages while Batman is trapped in a invisible mime box with a podium and a microphone in what is quite possibly the most garish game show set up ever.
Why was everything neon green and purple? Why was the guy neon green and purple? Who were these other kids-gdi Bruce! You have more kids?
Danny could just transform and beat up the ghost. Its a pretty weak one after all. But this one doesn't seem to recognize him as a halfa and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to do his homework without being attacked.
Jason stared at the kid next to him. What kinda life did this kid have to calmly get out his math homework and start solving problems while being held hostage by an unknown entity?! And with the bats no less?!
All the while Batman is getting peppered with questions about his kids and is realizing he doesn't recognize a few of the names.
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deadsetobsessions · 4 months
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A scene that’s been buzzing in my head but I can’t seem to find the words for:
Danny: we should do some sibling bonding activities guys
Tim, a tired Robin: *points towards the fifth exploding building they’ve evacuated this week alone* two-face and riddler are helping
Dick, in a burnt smelling Nightwing suit: That’s not- okay, that’s not like an activity we do with the intention of bonding though
Jason, holding his helmet out hopefully: We can beat up the joker?
Danny, always ready for clown beat downs: and set his shit on fire?
Tim, who was raised by Danny and hates the guy who killed his favorite Robin: and fuck up his taxes and send the IRS after him?
Dick, who’s a protective, vindictive, and the og shit stirrer of big brother: toss him off a building or two?
Jason, holding back tears: I don’t fucking hate you losers too much, I guess.
Batman, on the comms: No-
Agent “I don’t have a ‘No-Kill’ Rule so fuck around and Find Out” A, running the comms: Oracle, cut Batman off from the planning session
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ew-selfish-art · 6 months
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Dp x Dc AU: Danny and Tim are twins- And Vlad is the first to figure this out in his attempts to get DavlCo a new investor.
---
Tim was getting the creeps from this guy. It was as if the room got colder, the seconds got longer and the room's shadows moved to their own volition. He stared Tim down less like 'You punk kid' and more like 'You'll be mine' in a way that Tim didn't appreciate. At all.
The guy kept setting meetings up despite Tim's direct insistance that Wayne Enterprises would never touch DalvCo- not with a ten foot pole or for all the money in the world. Some how Tim's board of directors kept getting swindled by the guy and... therefore more meetings. More looks from this guy that made him want to crawl out of his skin.
Vlad asked him if he ever went by Timothy- Tim couldn't reply "that's not my name" fast enough. It apparently inspired the guy somehow. More meetings that Tim can't reject because of board members pop up.
It's been long determined that Jason doesn't get involved with Wayne Enterprises, but after the Uncle and a few other paid-actor solutions go up in flames- Tim decides to call up his older brother to act as a bodyguard and tell this guy to fuck off for the final time.
Jason apparently also gets the Heebee-jeebies from this asshole but his message is loud and clear to Vlad. There's a flash of green and then all of sudden it's just Tim and Jason in the room... Only Jason isn't acting like himself.
Putting it together- Tim reaches for his contingency F stash of Knock out gas and doses Jason. Vlad doesn't re-appear so Tim assumes that to mean that he'll be trapped in Jason's person until Jason wakes up.
Walking out of the meeting room with his bus of a brother over his shoulders- Tim quickly asks Tam to reach out to Vlad's Emergency contact. Surely there is someone in this man's company willing to explain what the fuck Vlad was trying to pull. Tim theoretically can keep Jason drugged asleep for a long time- surely that threat can get him somewhere.
The day drags on as Tim continues to keep Jason unconscious and eventually Tam lets him know that someone is here for Vlad. She says it with the addition of one of their codes- He mentally prepares himself for the worst and then... His doppleganger walks through the door? What the fuck?
Tim and Danny puzzle about one another for a little too long and Jason wakes up- Vlad pops out immediately. A shouting match between Danny and Vlad commences and...
"Man I knew our family had unresolved issues but seriously what the fuck has your clone dealing with?" Jason asks, as though he could watch this all day with pop corn.
"You made more clones?!" Danny screamed at Vlad who's only response is "Not this one! This one is actually polite!"
"Fuck you!" Tim and Danny reply in tandem.
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frownyalfred · 8 months
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for real though, I like to headcanon that Jason swings by the Cave occasionally with the newest, grossest energy drink he can find to try and get Bruce to drink anything other than coffee.
Bruce holds a bubble gum energy drink up to the light, squints at it, and says, with explicit disapproval, “This is going to give you liver failure eventually.” Jason is like “Right, but it makes you go FAST, Bruce.”
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