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221bshrlocked · 11 months

Text

floating senses

Pairings: Hunter x Fem!Reader

Words: 1943

Warnings: Hunter experiences sensory overload. Talk of anxiety and panic attacks. Love confessions. Lots of touching. Implied smut...very implied. Like this is as implied as smut will get with me and that says a lot.

Summary: Something upset him so deeply that he couldn’t stand being in the presence of anyone.

A/N: I am feeling some type of way and this is the product of said, unknown feelings. Enjoy my lovely clone simps.

Something was wrong. You weren’t really sure what could have possibly happened that caused Hunter to drop what was in his hand so abruptly, and run away from you and the group. All you knew was that something must have happened that had him sprinting down the pathways and away from the city. You had noticed how uptight he was in the morning, but thought it was probably due to how busy the market tended to be during the early hours of the day. But as the hours rolled by, his eyebrows grew more furrowed, and his jaw tensed as if he was tasked with an impossible mission. Normally, Hunter was a controlled man, even in the most stressful of environments. He seldom let the situations get out of hand from him, and even then, he would voice out his concerns just to gain a different perspective.

But this was different.

Something upset him so deeply that he couldn’t stand being in the presence of anyone.

“Where is he going?” Omega asks as she finishes helping Wrecker carry the rest of the supplies. She is about to follow Hunter when you hold out your hand, signaling her to stop and let you handle the situation.

“Stay here, I’ll go and see what he needs.” You smile reassuringly at her and stand up from your kneeling position, nodding at Wrecker and Tech before walking towards the path Hunter took to the shore.

As you descend the city, you can’t help but admire the colors of the sky as the sun sets far deep into the ocean, painting the clouds with pastels and shining stars. By the time you reach the beach, you get the sense that you’ll need to be patient and careful with Hunter. Although you’d been with the Batch for some time now, you knew that Hunter didn’t grow easy around people quickly. In fact, you found him the hardest to convince of your good, unselfish intentions.

When you feel the warm sand beneath your feet, you take your shoes off and place them at the dock before continuing to where you knew Hunter liked to meditate.

Normally, when he feels someone approaching him, Hunter announces his knowledge, either by asking his visitor a question or remarking on how loud they are. You found it funny that he tended to speak first, knowing that it was probably for the benefit of whoever was interrupting his alone time so they don’t jump in fear when they see him all of a sudden.

But the closer you get to his spot, the more uneasy you become, mostly because you could hear the man groaning in pain. Forgoing the initial plan of approaching him softly, you run towards the large boulders near the edge of the forest until you come across Hunter’s body kneeling in the sand.

“Kriff,” you swear beneath your breath, sprinting towards him and falling beside his heaving body to let him know that he isn’t alone. Hunter initially twitches away from you, shaking his head and falling to the ground as soon as he feels your hands reach for his shoulder.

“It’s me Hunter, it’s just me. I’m here!” You whisper against his shoulder, knowing that voicing out your concerns might worsen his sensory overload. He shakes violently underneath the touch of your hands, but as soon as he glances to the side and sees how calm and worried your features are, he melts into your embrace and lets go of his chest.

His hands shoot to the front of your shirt, and you prepare yourself for being thrown off of him, but the opposite happens. Hunter takes one look into your eyes and crashes against your chest, clinging onto you for dear life until you have no option but wrap your arms around him and part your thighs so he can settle in between them. His body is vibrating with energy, and you want nothing more than to talk him through whatever anxiety boiling through his body. But you remind yourself that any extra noise will make things worse, so instead of calming him the way you sometimes do with Wrecker or Omega, you decide to let your touch do the work for you.

Taking a deep breath, you slowly move your hand across his shoulder and back, waiting until he gets used to the sensation before slipping your other hand into his hair and massaging his scalp. Hunter hisses in the beginning, his body begging him to remove himself from you so you don’t witness him during such a vulnerable, weak moment. But he wills himself to stay still in your arms, allowing you to drive his fears and sensitivity away.

You don’t dare look down at him, knowing that he probably already hates you having a front row seat to his anxiety. Instead, you think of the colors etched across the skies, allowing the soft sound of the waves coming to the shore calm the both of you so you don’t cry from how deeply you feel for the man. You’re not sure how long you lay there with Hunter in your arms, but when his body relaxes further into you, and his pained whines turned into deep, guttural groans, you know that he’s moved past whatever it was that sent him over the edge so cruelly.

Except the more you move your hands up and down his back, and the harder you dig your nails into the hair at the nape of his neck, Hunter can’t help but groan against your sternum, his breaths coming out hot and heavy against the little bit of skin peeking through the buttons of your shirt. His breathing is becoming erratic again, except unlike before, his body isn’t shaking from the violent sensory overload, but a more pleasant buzzing coursing through his veins.

The moment you realize what you’ve unintentionally done, you stop your ministrations and begin to detach your hands from his person.

“Please…d-don’t. I- I need to…I need you to stay,” his words are broken, voice hoarse from how dry his throat has become, as if he’s been talking for the past hours. You’re shocked by the turn of the events, but you’re more surprised by how comfortable Hunter is with you. You knew that he’d learn how to trust you at some point, but you never thought the trust would run so deep to the point where he’d willingly move past such a rigid line along with you.

“Hunter…you’re not thinking clearly right now.” You firmly respond, waiting until he looks up through heavy-lidded eyes and stares into your slowly dilating pupils.

“You- you’re the reason I ran away.”

It’s far from what you expected him to say, now of all times. You thought he’d tell you that he’s thinking clearly, or perhaps beg you some more in that sinful, gruff voice of his, maybe even tell you to just end his misery and do this once before you return to the city.

You must be staring at him with shock and confusion, because Hunter tenses his jaw and looks away from you.

“I was thinking about how caring you are with Omega, how much patience you have for Tech…even when he’s unknowingly insulting you…how sweet you tend to be with Wrecker, especially when he has nightmares.”

You can’t find the words to respond to Hunter, so you remain silent, willing him to continue explaining himself so your brain doesn’t explode from the sudden confession.

“And, you’re always so understanding with me…as if I haven’t been cold to you ever since you joined.” You don’t like the way he describes himself, so you finally break your silence and push him off of you until you can get a better look at him.

“I know it’s difficult to trust new people, especially now when your lives are at stake. I would- maker Hunter, I would never fault you for being extra careful. You’re just looking after your brothers…after Omega.”

“There…that’s what made me run away.” He cuts you off, and a part of you is unsure as to why that could possibly make him leave.

“I was thinking of you, mesh’la…until I finally understood why I don’t want to let you in.” It’s your turn to breathe harshly, chest rising and falling rapidly with every word Hunter bestows upon you. Looking at him now, you’re unable to hold back from admiring how boyish yet rugged he still looks as the pastels across the skies above you shine over his handsome, sharp features. His hair falls perfectly over his bronze skin, framing his deep, hazel eyes and chiseled jaw so perfectly that you can’t stop yourself from leaning down and kissing his aquiline nose.

His breath hitches at the gentle touch, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was already lying in your arms, Hunter thinks he may have fallen into your embrace if the two of you were standing and you decided to pull that little stunt. When you pull away, far too soon to his liking, Hunter lets out a shaky breath and smiles softly at you.

“I’ve let you in a long time ago sweetheart, and I’m done pretending I don’t want you.”

The sureness with which he reveals that last bit of his heart to you nearly sends you into overdrive, and you blink the tears away before you ask him one last time, wanting him to be sure of what he’s saying.

“You want me?” Your voice shakes as you ask, afraid that he’ll come to his senses all of a sudden and tell you that he didn’t mean any of what he just said. But Hunter doesn’t waste another second, sitting up and moving closer to you until there is barely any space between your lips and his own.

“Desperately.” He whispers against your lips before he engulfs you completely, the passion he exerts over your body forcing you onto your back. You part your lips for him instantly, combing your hands into his hair and tugging on it when he slips his tongue inside our mouth and tastes you.

You’d later tell him that the ease with which he confessed to you his feelings nearly made you fall over in tears, but you set the thought aside now, wanting to cherish the moment until it’s ingrained in your mind.

When Hunter pulls away, you open your eyes and find him studying you closely. You think it was probably his turn to overthink matters, and before he can apologize for how forward he’s being, you pull him back down and pray his name as you kiss along his jaw and neck. You barely hold back from giggling when you feel his elbows buckle, sending him flush against your chest until you hate access to the skin showing from beneath his shirt.

“S-sweetheart.” His voice is dangerously low, but you continue to map his scars with teasing kisses and little bites, wanting him to completely surrender himself to you.

“Hunter…” You moan in return, smiling to yourself when he groans in response to the lewd pronunciation of his name.

“I need you, cyare. I need you so kriffing badly.” He growls into the cool dusk air, hands grasping at your shoulders to get you to ease off of him if only for a moment.

“Then take me.” You respond instantly, letting go of him so you can lay your head back down against the sand of the shores. Hunter snaps his gaze at you, once again scrutinizing your features and body language so there can be no room for any misunderstandings.

“Fucking finally.”

#hunter x reader #hunter/reader #hunter bad batch x reader #hunter bad batch/reader #sergeant hunter #hunter the bad batch #hunter fluff #hunter angst #the bad batch #it's been a long time #and i'm still not over the last season #ugh #soft hunter #clone fanfiction #hunter fanfiction #tbb #hunter tbb x reader #hunter tbb/reader

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heartfulselkie · 4 months

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How was year 2023 for you looking back ?

I'll admit I was going to say something along the lines of "Oh, it's been just another year! 🙃"

But you know what? No. It hasn't "been just another year." I've had so much happen this past year that I had to think for a good minute about it - because did all this really happen in a single year???

Yeah I've had my usual run of mental health slips. Some of them really bad.

But I've had so many wins this year too!

I finally took the time to really think about myself and feel comfortable in who and what I am. I finally said out loud to someone that I'm nonbinary. I talked with my counsellor about my issue with my physical appearance from my gender dysphoria. I came out to my family. I'm going by a new name now (socially at least), one that I feel better matches my gender identity.

And I started school again! After spending so long in such poor mental health where I couldn't even work, I'm now finally embracing doing something I love! I can finally say to my child-self: "You know what? You weren't wrong about wanting to be an artist. And you are good at it and love doing it!"

Yes, I'm doing an actual art course now! And I am loving every minute of it (even when the stress is high). I'm even planning on doing another year of it!

I've gotten friendly with the people in my class. It's been so long since I've had a physical, in-person sense of community. I thought it was something I'd never have again - but now I get to go into class and just talk with people and share dumb jokes. And its such a positive and supportive atmosphere! We're all artistic and of different lgbtq+ identities as well as neurodivergencies. (Through peer review it turns out I might actually fall somewhere on the autism scale - who knew? No wonder younger me was such a mess.)

For the first time in I don't even know how long, I've finally started to feel at least somewhat comfortable with myself. I'm done pretending to be a person I'm not and trying to fit other people's boxes. I still have my struggles and have a lot of history/traumas/whatever to process, but I feel so much better now that I finally feel secure enough to learn what kind of person I am. And I'm so lucky to be around people that are okay with that!

My family for the most part are accepting of where I am now. They don't really get "nonbinary", but most of them are still making efforts to use my chosen name. My relationship with one parent is still a trainwreck (I don't think its salvageable at this point tbh) but my relationship with my other parent has improved so much this past year. We now talk on regular basis and they have been my biggest supporter for both who I am as well as my artistic endeavours.

It's been one hell of a year. 2023 is the year I finally started feeling human. It's the year I started feeling like me again.

#my rough patches have been rough #but holy fucks the high points have been high #it's been a long time #but i'm finally doing and being what younger me though I'd never get to be #yeah everything's still a mess #but maybe it hasn't all been a waste after all #at least I can tell myself that on my good days #ask selkie

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