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frischkasekuchen · 3 years

Text

Dreamtalia Carrie AU

Credits:

Kyokyo866: Reve, Nevo, World(Nicholas) and Dreamtalia in general

Thriftlita: Vanya

Hetalia: Hidekaz Himaruya

Carrie: Stephen King

Warning:

Swearing

Religion

Religious abuse

Child abuse

Self-harm

Starring:

Reve and World(Nicholas) as Carrie White

Nevo as Margaret White

Germany as Tommy Ross

Canada as Sue Snell

Vanya as Miss Desjardin

(Author's Note: I've finished reading the book a while ago so I wrote something to celebrate- also I think this'll be my last piece until after my exams..)

(Note: the way i’ve written thoughts in parentheses is mimicking how Stephen King wrote telepathic communication and thoughts in Carrie- he only used apostrophes)

Carrie Memory- Father

Reve was humiliatingly trying to slip on the lacy stocking for he had bought to go with the dress Nicholas made for him. He was hobbling on one foot- knocking into nearly everything in Nicholas’ bedroom.

Nicholas snickered,

( christ, you look funny)

at this point Reve looked like he was wrestling a boa constrictor- and losing.

“And-And-Annnnnnnnd-'' Reve teetered backwards, “Got it!” The left stocking slipped on as he fell on the bed.

Nicholas let out a loud “HA!” as Reve fussed the skirt of the dress out of his face. He pushed himself out and stomped over to Nicholas, who slammed his mouth shut.

Reve pouted, “Shaddup! Who’re you laughin’ at?”

“You-!” he squeaked.

“You ass-” Reve blurted out. He went over to his white open-foot 2-inch heels and gloves. Slipping on the opera gloves were easier than the stockings, they latched on to his arms with a ‘SNAP’, they covered his scars easily. Next were the shoes, he slipped them on and he tightened them with a ‘SNAP’ as well, much more comfortable than the mary-janes he was offered earlier. He walked over to the full-body mirror and looked his entire outfit over. Reve began to worry, he went over to the dresser and sat down on a stool to let Nicholas fix his hair.

Reve’s face grimaced as his head became a jambalaya of worries.

( what if he doesn’t like how i look do you think the dress is weird nicky do you think it’s wei)

Nicholas hummed a hymn softly as he tried to soothe Reve.

( i think you good like you steal someone’s date you could steal all the boys from their dates that’s what i think)

Reve shrinked.

(what if this is a big joke what if luddie and mattie come hooting and hollering at my get-up what if he calls me a fag i don’t wanna be what if stands me up o god o god)

Nicholas smirked.

(i’ll tear out his tongue and feed it to mattie for being a big fat liar i’ll throw his ride into the gym that’s what i’ll do)

Reve gave a playful smile in turn.

(naughty nicky o no don’t do that that kills people)

The door to Nicholas’ bedroom slammed open to reveal his darling father.

“Red,” Papa said, glaring daggers into Nicholas’ uniform. “‘Course it’d be red.”

“I’m wearing blue and white- not just red.” Nicholas scoffed as he helped Reve put on a faux-flower armband Ludwig had given him. He finished combing down all of Reve’s hair save for a cowlick that refuses to go down.

(i think you should go downstairs reve this will turn sour go downstairs and wait for me)

(no i won’t let that windbag hurt you i’m staying i’m not leav)

“Take off that uniform- burn it.” Papa said sharply, approaching. “You can stay home- we can pray for forgiveness.”

“I. Don’t. Want. To. Pray. That’s final, papa. We have to get ready for prom.” Nicholas said. Oh that’s what he said to ‘pa, the ultimate curse word- worse than the Eff Word. Nicholas pulled Reve up to his feet from the stool and draped a shawl across his shoulders.

(leave reve go downstairs and wait for vanya i don’t want you to hear this)

Papa stayed still and stunned as though he had been slapped. “.......Take off that uniform, burn it, there’s still-”

“No. I. Said. No. Go fuck yourself, ‘cause after prom- I’m coming to pack up.”

He smacked himself- hard, leaving a red mark. It looked like a scar, a bunch of scratches. Nicholas paid no mind. With a blank stare he turned to the wall rushed at it- head forward.

He slammed into the wall with a loud ‘THUD’, he burst into tears and screamed. Reve jumped and his face scrunched up, he took hold of his wrist and stroked it- knowing what was under the gloves.

(what why you don’t hurt yourself like that no no leave nicky out of this you don’t hurt yourself in front of others no no you do that alone alone in private i know i do stupid bad man)

Nicholas still did not falter.

Papa then stared at Reve- like an angry father meeting his daughter’s secret boyfriend, climbing through her bedroom window. “You.”

Reve backed up into a corner near an open window- as Papa rushed up and seized Reve’s throat. He shook him back and forth raving- a s Nicholas tried to pull them apart.

(nicky i can’t breathe help me i’m gonna be sick)

“You rat- you parasite-! This is your fault!” he moaned as Nciholas tried to smack him off of Reve.

(don’t touch him don’t you do that papa don’t hurt him hurt me instead hurt me HURT INSTEAD ME HURT ME HURT ME PLEASE GOD HURT ME HURT ME HURT ME HURT M)

“I tried to keep the devil out of my house- and it was so difficult- it almost worked-!” Papa gasped, throwing his head up and whining to the ceiling. “Then you-you came along and taught him about those- those whores! You’ve turned him into an agent of the Wicked One- ” he paused for a moment and stopped shaking Reve- yanking the boy to look straight into the eyes of madness.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Reve shrieked in confusion.

(o god i’m scared i’m gonna shit myself)

Flex.

Papa was flung to the wall. Reve fell against the window sill, as a car pulled up to the house. The three rushed to the window as a station wagon came to a stop.

Mr.Bazarov had stepped out of the car; he was wearing a light, mute blue three-piece tuxedo that surprisingly matched his eyes- with a tar black bowtie.

Papa flew into a panic, he grabbed Nicholas by his wrists- “Please. Nicholas you can just stay here with me-!”

“I don’t want to stay with you papa-!”

“I’ll answer the door- I’ll tell him you changed your mind- that you don’t want to be around him-!”

“Let me go-leave me alone-!”

“You heard ‘im he doesn’t wanna stay-!” Reve yelled nearly breathless.

“Sit down-.”

“I’ll tell him you’re sick-!”

“SIT DOWN BE QUIET!’

FLEX.

Papa was flung to the floor and Reve was flung out of the bedroom.

(reve wait downstairs i’ll deal with this)

The door slammed shut, and Reve finally decided to go to the door.

Reve slammed the door open- to meet Mr.Bazarov, pacing up and down the porch, the slam startled him.

“Faucher! It’s nice to see you!” Mr.Bazarov looked him up and down. “This is wonderful handiwork!” he said,coming closer and examining the homemade dress. “Where’d you get something like this?”

“Nicky made it for me, he didn’t really want me- us- to go to prom- but he wanted to help me get a dress.” Reve said, stepping out on the porch and twirling to give him a full view of the pink gown. “He thought it was too plain but I like it!”

“That’s wonderful-! But where’s Nicholas?” Mr. Bazarov asked.

(oh shit)

“He’s-.” Reve was about to explain, before everything went awry.

(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

Everyone outside, even Ludwig and Matthew who were still in the car-and now leaving to investigate- put their hands over their ears. A scream rang out, a scream from Nicholas- but it wasn’t as vocal as it sounded.

(LEAVE ME ALONE GET IN THE CLOSET LEAVE ME ALONE GET IN THE CLOSET LEAVE ME ALONE GET IN THE CLOSET LEAVE ME ALONE GET IN THE CLOSET LEAVE ME ALONE GET IN THE CLOSET LEAVE ME ALONE GET IN THE CLOSET LEAVE ME AL)

Windows and doors all over the house slammed open, and they heard Papa screaming his head off. “Nicholas stop this! Don’t you dare-!”

Finally, everything finally stopped opening- just closed. Save for Papa’s screaming- now accompanied by sobbing.

“N-Nicholas please! Don’t-They laugh at you-THEY’LL LAUGH AND YOU KNOW IT!” he howled. “COME BACK-PLEASE- I’LL PROTECT YOU! I JUST WANT TO HELP!” Footsteps were approaching, fast and loudly- and intensified as Papa’s tirade continued.

“COME BACK-! THEY’RE GONNA LAUGH AT YOU! YOU FOOL! THE LORD IS NOT MOCKED! COME BACK AND PRAY!”

“SHUT UP!” Nicholas screamed into the air, “STAY IN THAT CLOSET- and don’t say a word until I’m gone.”

Everyone outside could finally breathe again as they had been holding their breaths.

Nicholas choked out a sob, “I’ll be home at 11:30, and if you’re good- I won’t leave like this again, okay?”

“................”

“I’m sorry Papa, I love you.” Nicholas hiccupped.

Now a quartet of Mr.Bazarov, Matthew, Reve and Ludwig met Nicholas as he stepped out onto the porch.

Mr.Bazarov approached him and put a hand on his back and rubbed it, bending over to see if Nicholas was crying. “Boy-boy are you alright?”

Nicholas simply nodded.

(please please hold me please someone hold me)

Reve came over and embraced Nicholas. “That was very brave of you Nicky, very brave.”

“Sorry to interrupt-” Ludwig had finally spoken, “But- is everyone ready to go?”

Nicholas said, “Yes, we’re raring to go.”

Reve turned to Ludwig and whispered, “Um, how do I look?”

Ludwig gave him a small smile with a red face, “Wunderbar.” before shoving his face in his hands.

Reve tilted his head, “Eh?”

“Wonderful- he means wonderful.” Matthew said butting in.

Reve swore steam was coming out of his ears like a kettle.

(ohohohohohohohohohoho)

“Thank you.”

#dreamtalia #carrie au #my writing #tw child abuse #tw swearing #tw religion #tw religious abuse #bad god au #long post #tw self harm

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voidselfshipp · 3 years

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Starstruck

Cw: food

As jer laid peacefully under all those warm blankets raindrop wrote a letter and tied it to a lantern.

It floated up to the Sky,surpassing the clouds and into the spirit world, getting tangled in an old tree.

-- she tu!, look!-- yu lei said, using his throwing star to scratch the rock tangled between the trees roots, making it move its branches.

He took the card-- Its from rain!

Yu lei Walked inside as his brother sets the two cups of tea and freshly baked cookies on the table.

--"dearest yu lei and shen tu"-- he read-- "I really miss you! Come visit soon! I have a friend to present to you!,I think youll like her! -rain".

Both brothers look at eachother as both sit on the table.

-- do you think thats a good idea?--shen tu asked.

-- yes of course!,maybe rain can convince her friend to put our posters on her home!

His brother chuckled-- still with that door god thing? We have the restaurant now, hey who knows maybe we can get ya a girlfriend!

Yu lei shook his head laughing-- oh shut up

The Next day arrived without much fuss.

Both Guardian brothers went to visit their friend, and just around twelve pm rains friend had arrived.

The store was empty aside from some costumers aside.

Jerico stepped in Yawning a bit as she had woken up just some minutes ago.

--aight rain im here!

Rain Walked up to her-- jerico! I knew youd come! These are my Friends, shen tu and yu lei!

Freezing was an understatement as to what jer did.

She looked up to meet none other than her not-so-fictional-now crush and his brother.

"Well fuck me" she thought looking at both-- ah....nice to meet you

Yu lei couldnt respond either,jerico was beautiful, and there he was trying to find the right words.

She sat by the Window as rain tried to introduce eachother to the other.

--Jerico is an artist you know!--raindrop said to the brothers-- shes here for a job! A Long term one!,And shes super skilled!

--aw-- jer cooed-- thats very sweet of you rain!

She nodded tugging shen tus sleeve, leaving yu lei and jerico alone to talk.

Inside jeris brain there was only chaos,there infront of her was the Man who she saw on a movie, A MOVIE, a Man who WASNT SUPPOSED TO EXIST.

Was she startstruck? Confused? Feeling a sudden urge to launch herself at him and kiss him? Yeah.

-- so youre New-- yu lei said--was the trip long?

-- yeah it was-- she answered-- but coming here was worth it, the place is very beautiful..

He nodded looking outside just like her-- yesterday was rainy, And today its sunny,the Weather god must be in a mood

She chuckled-- yeah they must be, you know I heard a story about gods yesterday-- jerico felt like messing with yu lei a bit-- about the little door gods,and would you guess that one of them looks and its called just like you?

Yu lei panics as he looks at his brother who facepalms and rain chuckling--ah what a coincidence

Jer leaned in-- to quote one of my favourite movies, just like I, god doesnt play with dice, and I dont Belive in coincidences-- that made him sweat bullets, she laughed playfully pushing him-- im just messing with ya

He chuckles-- maybe I am who knows-- he winks and just then, ying, rains mother calls him to help with the food

-- ill see you in a bit

-- see ya

He nodds with a smile and goes help with the soup.

Jerico is a nervous wreck and she tries to process everything, he was way prettier in person.

She sighed, it was seen that he rejected every single woman that the movie tried to make as his love interest.

Why would she be any different?

Yu lei brought her her soup, she Ate alone as the shop started to fill up with costumers.

Jerico decided to stay after hours to help clean, so did the brothers.

As she cleaned the bowls, thinking she was alone and nobody could hear her, she sang.

-- 'Boy, you got me helpless

Look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit

I'm helpless

Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em'

-- she rocked back and forth with a smile on her face--

'I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight

We were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night

Laughin' at my sister as she's dazzling the room

Then you walked in and my heart went, "Boom!" ' --

She wasnt EXACTLY the quiet type, yu lei peeked his head through the door hiding behind the one with his poster on it.

Why did the song feel familiar, or more so, how did he know the meaning it had to her

--' Tryin' to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom

Everybody's dancin' and the band's top volume

Grind to the rhythm as we wine and dine

Grab my sister and whisper

"Yo, this one's mine"

My sister made her way across the room to you

And I got nervous thinking

"What's she gonna do?"

She grabs you by the arm

I'm thinkin', "I'm through"

Then you look back at me

And suddenly I'm helpless

Oh, look at those eyes

And the sky's the limit

I'm helpless !'--

Jer stops midway through as raindrop starts to clap.

-- you have such a nice voice! -- she said putting the clean dishes on the shelves.

--Thank you for helping-- ying said as jerico dried her hands thanking raindrop for the compliment and walking over to Grab her bag.

-- its nothing, glad I could help!

-- before you go!-- rain handed her two posters-- so they can visit you!

--Thanks rain, youre too kind -- jeri ruffled her hair--ill be back tomorrow!

She Walked outside to be met by yu lei, as shen tu seemed too busy cleaning-- can I walk you home?-- he asked-- its dark and I want to make sure youll be fine

-- I dont want to bother ill be fine

--nonsense! I couldnt bear if something happened to you!--the door god stopped mid sentence-- b because rain would be very upset! Let me walk you home

She chuckled-- alright, come on

They walk silently as the breeze made jerico shiver.

Yu lei, handed her his jacket, as rain and her mom encouraged him and his brother to dress with modern clothes, to blend in.

He smiled as jer put the jacket on and he pulled her closer to him.

When they arrived home she puts the posters up on her Doors-- its late, you sure you dont want to spend the night here?

Yu lei shook his head-- ill be fine, you can give me the jacket tomorrow dont worry

She nodds and both say goodbye.

Jeri sits on the floor back against the door, sighing,what a day!.

She went to sleep gripping his jacket tightly, it had his smell.

Oh she wished and hoped that hed pay attention to her

#cw food #tw food #f/o fic #a heart of gold

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humanitittysswaggiest · 4 years

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I am not throwin away my shot

Heyo I’m just like my country I’m young scrappy and hungry and I’m not throwin away my shot

Imma get a scholarship to Kings college

I probably shouldn’t brag but dag I amaze and astonish

The problem is I got a lotta brains but no polish

I gotta holler just to be heard with every word, I drop knowledge

I’m a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of coal tryna reach my goal my power of speech unimpeachable only 19 but my mind is older these New York city streets get colder I shoulder every burden every disadvantage I’ve learned to manage I don’t have a gun to brandish I walk these streets famished the plan is to fan this spark into a flame but dam it’s gettin dark so lemme spell out the name

I am the

(big) A L E X A N D E R we are meant to be

A colony that runs independently meanwhile Britain keeps shittin on us endlessley essentially they tax us relentlessly then King George turns around runs a spending spree he aint ever gonna set his descendants free so there will be a revolution in this century enter me (a/n(t/n?) bit weird Ham but whatever floats ur boat I'm not one to judge)

He says in paranthses

Dont be shocked when your history book mentions me I will lay down my life if it sets us free eventually you’ll see my ascendeancy

And I’m not throwin away my shot I’m not throwin away my shot heyo I’m just like my country I’m young scrappy and hungry and I’m not throwin away my shot

I am not throwin away my shot I am not throwin away my shot heyo I’m just like my country i’m young scrappy and hungry and I am not throwin away my shot its time to take a shot

I dream of a life without the monarchy the unrest in france will lead to onarchy, onarchy? how you say? anarchy when I fight I make the other side panicky with my

Shot

Yo I’m a tailors apprentice and I got yall knuckleheads in loco parentis I’m joinin the rebellion coz I know it’s my chance to socially advance instead of sewing some pants im gonna take a

Shot

But we’ll never be truly free until those in bondage have the same rights as you and me you and I do or die wait till I sally in on a stallion with the first black battalion have another

Shot

Geniuses lower your voices you keep out of trouble you double your choices I’m with you but the situation is fraught you've got to be carefully taught if you talk, you're gonna get shot!

Burr, check what we got mister Lafayette, hard rock like Lancelot I think your pants look hot Laurens, I like you a lot let's hatch a plot blacker than the kettle callin' the pot what are the odds the gods would put us all in one spot poppin' a squat on conventional wisdom, like it or not a bunch of revolutionary manumission abolitionists? give me a position, show me where the ammunition is!

Oh, am I talkin' too loud?

Sometimes I get over excited, shoot off at the mouth I never had a group of friends before I promise that I'll make y'all proud

Let's get this guy in front of a crowd

I am not throwing away my shot I am not throwing away my shot heyo, I'm just like my country I'm young, scrappy and hungry And I'm not throwing away my shot

I am not throwing away my shot I am not throwing away my shot Hey yo, I'm just like my country I'm young, scrappy and hungry And I'm not throwing away my shot

Ev'rybody sing whoa, whoa, whoa

Hey!

Whoa whoa! (Whoa)

Said let 'em hear ya!

Let's go!

Whoa whoa whoa!

I said shout it to the rooftops!

Whoa!

Said, to the rooftops!

Whoa!

Come on!

Yeah

Come on, let's go!

Rise up!

When you're living on your knees, you rise up tell your brother that he's gotta rise up tell your sister that she's gotta rise up

when are these colonies gonna rise up when are these colonies gonna rise up when are these colonies gonna rise up when are these colonies gonna rise up rise up rise up!

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory when's it gonna get me in my sleep seven feet ahead of me if I see it comin', do I run or do I let it be is it like a beat without a melody see, I never thought I'd live past twenty where I come from some get half as many ask anybody why we livin' fast and we laugh, reach for a flask we have to make this moment last, that's plenty scratch that this is not a moment, it's the movement where all the hungriest brothers with something to prove went foes oppose us, we take an honest stand we roll like Moses, claimin' our promised land and if we win our independence is that a guarantee of freedom for our descendants or will the blood we shed begin an endless cycle of vengeance and death with no defendants i know the action in the street is excitin' but Jesus, between all the bleedin' 'n fightin' I've been readin' 'n writin' we need to handle our financial situation are we a nation of states what’s the state of our nation? (t/n bit hardcore bit deep there Hamilton)

I'm past patiently waitin' I'm passionately smashin' every expectation every action's an act of creation i'm laughin' in the face of casualties and sorrow for the first time, I'm thinkin' past tomorrow

And I am not throwing away my shot I am not throwing away my shot heyo, I'm just like my country I'm young, scrappy and hungry and I'm not throwing away my shot

We’re gonna rise up time to take a shot

We're gonna rise up time to take a shot

We're gonna rise up rise up

Time to take a shot! (Rise up)

Take a shot! Ri— ri— ri—

Shot!

A-yo it's

Time to take a shot! (Time to take a shot!)

And I am— (And I am)

Not throwin' away my—

Not throwin' away my shot!

#you know how freaking long this took me??#i just copied the last part #beesus fuckin christ #what is wrong with u Lin #you already write like ur running out of time why tf dya have to talk that fast??#fml whyd i do this #*cries*#this isnt even the longest song?!?!?!#uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh #procrastination helps too /s #and perfectionism /s #fucking goddammit

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babbushka · 4 years

Note

Hey.. hey.. i love your pale.. do ya got anymore im not an pale addict... i swear, i just need some more if ya got it... please! *hands shaking furiously*

The 12 days of oneshots starts tomorrow with our favorite greaseball Pale in, Santa Baby ! (Be on the lookout for that, but until then here’s a small sneak peek of chapter 4 of TC!)

And he did, walk with you.Always. It’s too fuckin’ dangerous to go out by yourself, especially aroundhere, around these parts. He snorted to himself as he smoked his cigarette,wind biting at where his face was exposed, he sometimes had no fuckin’ cluewhat he was sayin’ – around these parts. What was he, from some goddamned wild west flick starrin’ the one and only Clint Eastwood?

You gave him a funny glance, andhe gave you one right back.

“You lookin’ at me like that?” Heasked, playful but with a scowl on his face.

“Yeah, what’re you gonna do aboutit?” You asked, swinging your joined hands back and forth, back and forth –until Pale let go of you long enough to snatch you around your thighs and chuckyou over his shoulder, making you squeal out a laugh and a, “Pale!”

He carried you like that for aminute or two, gave your body a shake making you laugh and laugh, beforesetting you down on the sidewalk carefully.

“Yeah yeah keep teasin’ me, watchwhat happens.” He said, smoking around his smile, not wantin’ no one to see.

He had no fuckin’ clue how he gotso lucky with you. Every day felt like a dream, no lie, no joke. But youlaughed with him instead of at him and you were the first person to do that indamn near a decade, at least to do it and really mean it. You were the firstperson to really mean anything, to him.

“You know it’s really too fuckin’cold out here, you sure you don’t want my jacket?” Pale asked, cigaretteglowing red in the grey air, snow falling but not harshly enough to cancel workor nothin’, “Because honestly the last fuckin’ thing I need is for you to getsick or somethin’, now I know it’s big on ya but I don’t care I think youshould wear it, at least ‘til we get to the diner. Fish keeps the heat on inthere right? You won’t be freezin’ or nothin’ behind the milkshake counter? Dopeople even drink milkshakes in this hour? Maybe if he keeps the heat on theydo. Hey did you know – ”

“Shit!” You suddenly dipped outof view, not that you managed to obstruct his vision too much anyway, bein’much shorter than him.

But you were cursin’ on theground, having landed flat on your ass, wincing.

“Fuck – (Y/N), you okay?” He rushedto help you up, steadied you with his hands on your arms, and you were onlylaughin’ again.

You were always easy breezy.

He thought about the way you hadlooked Saturday night, a woman possessed, and his chest filled with pride, withadoration. You were so sweet, so soft and patient and kind, but you knew how tofuckin’ throw hands and he respected that in a woman.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Damn, ice.”You brushed the snow off your ass, made sure none of it melted into your coat.You still wore it, that red trench coat, the one you had bought second hand fromwho the fuck knows where.

He still thought you should bewearin’ his leather jacket instead.

“You want me to beat the shit outof it?” He asked, jokingly, glad about your good mood. He didn’t ever want youshoutin’ like you’d been shoutin’, ever again.

“Yeah honey, let’s go fight JackFrost.” You rolled your eyes, and began swatting at his arm when he immediatelybegan to punch the snow in front of yous.

;)

#Anonymous #cowboy answers

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iluvmyogblog · 6 years

Text

Roommates, Routines and Best Friends

A/N: can u guys believe how emotional AIW is..... anyways. i hope u guys enjoy this. i feel like about two more parts until the end ;( oh and remember my crush that liked me back??? yea well he ghosted me lol if theres typos, so sorry. if i forgot to tag u, L M K <3 god, seb is a dream

Summary: (AU) being roommates with the infamous womanizer Bucky Barnes is tough, especially when all he does is bring home different girls every night and complain about you and your choice of men. masterlist.

Words: 3802

Warnings: im so sad but im laughin

Roommates, Routines and Best Friends: Just Call

“I’m just saying, (y/n). Maybe you should talk to Steve again. It’s been two weeks. Maybe the two of you just needed space. It’s not like Steve didn’t care for you. He obviously did. He kept that information from you because he loves you, (y/n),” your best gal pal explained. You sigh softly and swirl the strawberry wine in your glass.

“He hurt me, M,” you say softly. She nods, extending her legs over your lap.

“I know he did. But you hurt him too. You realize that, right?” She did have a point. You did hurt him. It doesn’t seem as excessive to you but maybe it hurt him just as much.

“Maria, you’re right but i don’t think I can talk to him right now. He just.. i don’t know. If I talk to him, I know I’ll just go back and pretend none of this happened.”

Maria sighs and gets off the sofa. You follow her into the kitchen and hand her your glass for a refill. She shrugs and pops open a new bottle of wine. “Well will you please talk to one of them?”

It was your turn to shrug. You didn’t know what to tell either of them. You were sad about Steve. Mad, even. But you didn’t know how you felt about the Bucky situation. It felt like you were just a big burden in both of their lives. And maybe they’d do better without you. Yeah, you missed them but that didn’t mean all was forgiven. So you did what you always do; avoid the conversation.

Who would you even talk to first? If you spoke to Steve first, were you kind of betraying Bucky in a way? You didn’t even apologize to Bucky for being a bitch to him before. Blaming him for everything. Everything that was caused by Steve. You sighed and pushed those thoughts away.

On the other side of town, Bucky was feeling down. He was always feeling down now. It was normal for him. All of his usual morning routines dissipated. He woke up whenever he wanted. He went out with whoever paid him attention. He hated it. Absolutely hated it. Everyone was temporary in his life. The only constant he did have was you and Steve. He missed his friends beyond words. But were they even friends anymore?

“I don’t know man, it’s just crazy. How this all happened. I say just call them and be like, ‘look, guys. Why can’t we be friends? Why can’t we be frie-“

“Scott, seriously,” Bucky interrupts his good friend. Scott snorts and throws his arms up, obviously confused as to why his beautiful singing was cut off.

“I’m just saying, dude. Calm down, pal.” Scott begins to kick out his feet on the coffee table and cross his arms behind his head. “Call up this girl, and text your friend an apology.”

Bucky laughs and claps. “Good one, Lang. You crack me up.” Scott rolls his eyes and throws a pillow at the tall brunette. Bucky quickly catches it and tosses it back onto the sofa. Scott quickly gets up and grabs the home phone. It was your genius idea to get a land line.

“Buck, please? Please please please,” you pleaded as you got down on your knees.

“No. Absolutely not. You come in here, start redecorating my living room. Start recording Grey’s Anatomy on my tv. And you want a phone with an answering machine ‘cause you never had one? I’m sorry, who do you think you are?”

You groan and roll your eyes. “You’re the worst roommate ever. I don’t even know why I try to be friends with you.”

Bucky sighs and watches you place your hands on the sofa cushions, pulling yourself back up to your feet. Your hair was in a side braid and your nails were painted this deep red he kind of liked. You huff out a breath and walk into the kitchen, far away from the man sitting on the sofa. He continues to watch you tip toe, trying to reach for the bag of chips he bought. He groans softly and walks over to you, swiftly taking the bag down from the top shelf. “Okay.”

You snatch the bag out of his hand and knit your eyebrows together, looking up at him. “Okay, what?”

“Okay, we’ll get you your stupid answering machine.”

Your eyes twinkle. “Really? Are you just screwing with me, Barnes?”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “I’m being genuine here, (y/l/n).”

You throw the bag of chips onto the counter and leap into your roommates arms. “You’re the best.”

You caught him off guard. After all, this was y’all’s first “hug”. You had only moved in three weeks ago. It took him a few minutes to hug you back, but he did. And when he did, he really hugged you. His strong arms wrapped around your body perfectly. And you couldn’t think of anyone who gave better hugs. After you guys went to buy the phone, you set up the machine and persuaded Bucky to say a line with you.

“Hello, you’ve reached the household of-,”

“,-shouldn’t it be apartment?”

“Shut up,” you whispered back, “the household of (y/n) and-“

Bucky watches the red light blink, completely forgetting he had to be saying something. You nudge his shoulder. “Hi, I’m Bucky.”

You groan and put your hands over your face. “James,” you sighed. He looks at you confused as hell. “We gotta do it again.”

It was his turn to groan. “This is exactly why I didn’t wanna get-,” he says, his voice fading away as he walks into his room. You quickly catch up to him and drag him back into the living room. After two more hours, you finally had a ...decent message.

“Hey, you’ve reached (y/n) and the most handsome guy- ow, and Bucky. Sorry, we must be sleeping or something. Call- okay bye,” his voice made yours seem extremely chipper and annoying, his voice was so monotone.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asked as he watched Scott press random numbers on the phone.

“Honestly, Buckaroo, I have no clue,” he says as he scrolls through contacts. “You guys have a home phone but don’t have your own numbers saved? What kind of- y’all are weird. Why even have a ph-“

“I get it.”

“I’m just saying,” Scott mumbles.

“She’s... she’s under doll. You’re looking for her contact right?”

Scott’s mouth shapes into an ‘o’ form as he slowly leans back into the cushions, looking up at his friend. “I was... just gonna order some Chinese food.. but.. like, if you want me to call her- I will.” Bucky’s cheeks turn a hot red. He huffs out a breath and rolls his eyes, walking into the kitchen.

“Do you want me to call her,” Scott yells.

“No,” Bucky says immediately. Scott sighs and mumbles a ‘yeah, you do’ as he clicks on your contact name. Scott holds in a laugh.

“He seriously put your number as doll. Who calls anyone doll anymore?”

“Lang, what are you saying over there,” Bucky asks from the kitchen.

“Huh? Oh, just asking if you want some oranges.”

“Oranges? Do I want or do I have?”

“What? Oh, nothing. Never mind,” he laughs nervously. He clicks on Doll and hears the beeping noise, then comes the ring. Bucky went back to rummaging through the cabinets for snacks.

“Hello,” Scott hears a sweet voice through the phone.

“Wow. That’s a nice voice,” he says quietly.

“I’m sorry, what was that? Who’s this?”

“Oh, oh right. This is Scott. I’m B- I’ll take orange chicken and some ramen. Hey, you want anything?,” he quickly says as Bucky walks into the living room. Bucky grabs the phone from Scott’s hands and brings it up to his ear.

“I’ll take three egg rolls. Do you guys have those.. um those little crunchy things with cheese in the middle?”

“Umm.. Cream Cheese Rangoon’s,” the voice on the other line asks.

“Yeah! Yeah those. I’ll take three orders of those and go ahead and add some sweet and sour sau-“

“That sounds really good but I’m sorry. I think you have the wrong number.” Bucky knits his eyebrows together and looks back at Scott. A nervous Scott who’s eyes are scanning the room.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“This is (y/n)... and last time I checked, I work at a coffee shop. Not a Chinese restaurant,” you giggle. “But hey, order me some egg rolls too.”

“It’s.. oh.. um yeah. Okay,” Bucky quickly says and hangs up. He sends death glares at Scott.

“Hey, man look. Hear me out. Didn’t it feel nice to hear her voice? She has a really pretty voice. Like I’ve honestly never heard a more prettier voic- woah woah, sit down, Buck,” Scott says as he leaps over the back of the sofa.

“What the hell, man? You called her? I told you not to,” Bucky growls. Scott holds up his hands and let’s out a quick laugh.

“I’m sorry. But did you or did you not like hearing her voice?” Bucky’s face relaxes, his shoulders fall back.

“Not the point,” he mumbled.

“Dude... call her back, man. You won’t regret it. I promise,” Scott says softly. Bucky nods and turns his attention back to the phone thrown on the sofa. He hesitates to pick it up, resulting in his friend jogging over and handing it to him personally. “It’s dialing.”

“Shit. Okay. Alright,” Bucky says nervously as he brings the phone back up to his ear.

“Hello,” you say questionably, a hint of joy in your voice. Bucky’s chest swelled up at the sound and familiarity of your voice.

“Hey,” he says softly. On the other side of the line, you knit your eyebrows and pull the phone away from your ear, placing it on speaker so Maria can hear.

“Hi.” Maria stifles laughter and leans in closer.

“Hi, I’m- I’m sorry about before. My friend told me it was a Chinese restaurant and so I started rambling.”

You laugh, your heart speeding up at the sound of this guys voice. “No problem. Although, you kind of made my friend and me a little hungry. I think you owe us some Chinese food now.”

He laughs, your heart leaps. This laugh. It was so familiar. Like you knew it. You stop laughing and stare at the unsaved phone number. You glance at Maria who looks back at you with a confused look in her eyes. “(Y/n)...”

“James,” you say softly. Maria’s eyes go wide.

“Hey,” he says with the same softness.

“Why are you calling me,” you ask.

“Why are you still talking to me?”

“I can hang up if you wan-“

“(Y/n), please don’t. I just, how are you? How’s Steve?”

You don’t say anything. You just stare at Maria. ‘Talk’ she mouths. You shake your head. She nods, encouraging you to speak. “Um...I- we.. I gotta go.” You quickly hang up and throw your phone at the sofa in front of you. You hold Maria’s glare and shake your head.

Scott stares at Bucky with a smile. “What’s she saying?”

Bucky doesn’t turn around. He lets the phone fall onto the sofa. He shrugs and walks towards the front door. “She hung up. Bye, Scott.”

“Wha- woah man. You don’t gotta kick me out. If you’re sad, we can talk it out.”

“I’m not sad, Lang. I’m tired. Come back later. Or don’t. But if you do, bring some damn Chinese food,” he shoves Scott out the front door and slams it shut, leaving a dumbfounded Scott questioning what he did wrong.

That night, you and Bucky laid awake in bed. Tossing and turning. Not seeming to find a comfortable position. Your mind begins to drift.

It was raining. And for some strange reason, the rain didn’t seem to make you drowsy. It just made you restless. And that stupid exam you had to take at 9 am was teasing you. You groaned and threw a pillow off your bed. You violently stuff your face into a pillow and scream.

You didn’t hear the knock on your door. You didn’t hear the footsteps approaching your bed. But you did feel the hand on your shoulder. You quickly turn around and kick the person away from you, screaming. “Woah, hey. Doll, it’s me. Relax,” the shadow said. You didn’t listen.

“James,” you screamed as you stumbled over to your bedroom door, hoping your roommate would come to your rescue.

“(Y/n), shut up,” the shadow says. You flick the light on and your eyes land on your annoying roommate. You groans and pick up that pillow you threw, throwing it right back at him. He chuckles and catches it, easily. “It’s just me.”

“What the hell, James? You’re so annoying. What are you doing? Get out,” you say as you climb back into your bed.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said, throwing himself on your bed. You roll your eyes and turn your face away from him.

You pull the sheets over your head and shrug. “Me either,” you mumble into your pillow. Buck sighs and looks at you. Your hair was a mess. But that pretty mess Bucky soon grows to like. “Turn off the light,” he hears you say.

Bucky gets up and walks over to your light switch, flicking it off. You feel the spot next to you sink in and a cool breeze of air runs down your back as Bucky pulls the blankets over him. You turn around and scoot closer to him, embracing his warmth. This became normal for you two. Whenever you or Bucky couldn’t sleep, you’d go over to his room or vice versa. It benefited you both.

You could almost feel his arms around your waist and the smell of his hair. It consumed you. He could almost hear your soft snores and feel your soft breath hit his chest. You’d kill to go back to those days. Before you met Steve. Before you fell so hard for Steve. But if Steve was Bucky’s best friend, maybe it was fate that you met Steve. Regardless, you’d meet him either way, right?

There was a knock on your door. “Hey, (y/n). There’s someone at the door for you,” Maria says in a raspy voice.

“What? Who,” you ask as you throw the blanket off of your body, swinging your legs off the bed. Your feet land in your fluffy slippers and you hug your body. It was always so cold in Maria’s house.

She mumbles something but then walks away and disappears into her room. ‘Who the hell could be here for me? I’m so sleepy.’

You sigh and grab a throw from on top of the sofa and wrap it around your body. You tip toe and try to peep through the peephole but you’re way too short to even reach. You groan and unlock the door again, opening it.

Your eyes land on a chest. You heart begins to race as your eyes roam up to his face. You inhale a breath and look into his blue eyes. You open your mouth to say something. And he opens his to say something too.

“Um, you first,” you whisper.

“No, you first,” he whispers back.

His heart was racing so fast. It was leaping out of his chest. God, he missed your face. He missed your face so much. And him standing right here in front of you made you realize just how much you’ve missed his too. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. For everything. For all of this.”

“How did you know I was here?”

“Your parents. Come home, please,” he grabs your hands. His big hands trapped your tiny ones in them. You did miss this. You really did. You sighed and pulled your hands back to you, bring them up to your chest.

“Steve... it’s not that easy,” you said softly. He sighed and ran his hands down his face. “Look, I-”

Your phone starts ringing. You sigh and let Steve in, closing the door behind him. “You gonna get that?”

“No, i’m talking to you,” you say. This was a conversation that needed to be said. The two of you didn’t bother turning on a light. Ironically, there was lightening outside. So the room was a little bit lit. The soft pitter patter of rain on the window filled the silence.

“I’m a dick. I know. You didn’t deserve any of the shit I did to you. If I could take it back, I would. But there’s a part of me that wouldn’t.”

You look at him in confusion, a little bit of anger. “You wouldn’t?”

“No. I would not. You know why? Because I think meeting you was the best day of my life. I don’t know if I would’ve met you if it wasn’t for Sam. And I know you don’t want to hear this, but I’m so glad it didn’t work out with him. I’m fucking selfish. I want you all to myself. And i did anything I could to make sure that happened but I still fucked up. And I am so sorry. I love you. I love yo-”

The house phone began to ring. You sighed and walk over to the phone, quickly pressing the automatic machine. Almost immediately, there was a beep signaling a new message. You roll your eyes and turn your attention back to Steve. He looks at you with those sad eyes of his. “Steve, I don’t know what to sa-”

A knock on the front door interrupts your words. Maria emerges from her room again and opens her front door. “James, hey. What are...”

“I need to talk to (y/n),” he says softly. Maria shakes her head in confusion, her sleeping mask resting on her forehead.

“How did you know she was here,” she asks.

“Maria, come on. Earlier on the phone, I heard you laugh. Then I went to Steve’s and noticed her car wasn’t there. So... can I please talk to her,” he asks again. She sighs and gives him an apologetic look.

“Buck, she’s... Steve’s here.”

You stopped talking to Steve and glanced down the hallway. You got up and walked over towards the front door, calling out Maria’s name. You see her shut the door, locking it.

“Who was it,” you ask, startling her.

“Jesus, (y/n). It was some person,” she waves off. You heart races. Your body begins to feel jittery. Ignoring your friend, you rush to the front door and unlock it, quickly stepping into the Hall. You look to the right and then left, catching a glimpse of a tall brunette. Your heart does that achy feeling. You rush down the hall and call out the name James. Sighing disappointingly when he turns around, realizing it wasn’t who you thought it was.

“So if that were James, what would you have done?” A voice says from behind you. You jump up and turn around. Coming face to face with Steve.. again. You shrug.

“I don’t know, Steve. I don’t know.” He nods and tucks his hands in his pocket. He clenches his jaw and scans your face. He notices the tears at the brim of your eyes.

“(Y/n)... I thought you were over that.” You scoff and brush past him. Your eyes roam to the end of the hall. You stop in your tracks as you see that pretty face walking towards you. His sad eyes staring into yours. You inhale a shaky breath and slowly walk towards him. You stop, remembering Steve was right behind you. You glance back to Steve who was already sending glares at James. You sigh softly and look back up to James.

“Hey doll,” he says softly.

You swallow away your feelings and shake your head. “What are you doing here, James?”

“I don’t.. I don’t know. I left you a message. I think I said why I was coming... or how I knew.. I don’t know. I just-“

“You just can’t seem to stay out of our relationship, can you,” Steve blurts out, walking closer. You feel Steve wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you behind him. Bucky chuckles and shakes his head.

“Steve, I didn’t come here to argue. I came here to talk to-“

“My girlfriend? Yeah. That’s obvious.”

“I’m not your girlfriend, Steve.” Bucky furrows his eyebrows and looks back up at Steve. Steve looks back down at you, completely forgetting Bucky was right there.

“(Y/n), can we please just... just talk about this. I said I was sorry. I didn’t mean any of that-“

“You still did it, Steve. Look, I’m sorry. But you guys have to leave.” You quickly say as you walk back into Maria’s apartment. You shut the door, lock it and slide yourself down the door. You hear muffled voices, a few steps getting further away. It sounded like one of them stayed behind though. The pair of footsteps outside the door paced back and forth before a small note slipped under your door. It was a colorful sticky note. A light blue one. You sniffle and wait until the steps reside. You grab the sticky note and hold it in your hand, your eyes reading the words. ‘I couldn’t sleep. Funny, it was raining that night too.’

‘That night’ was underlined. Emphasized. The beep on the answering machine kept echoing throughout the living room. “I left you a message,” his voice echoes. You quickly stand up and rush over to the machine. You click the button. “Maria, ignore this if she isn’t there but.. Doll, I miss you. I miss you so damn much. And I can’t stop thinking about you. And there’s no more milk. Can you believe that? I’m a mess without you here. I need- want.. need. I need to talk to you. I went to Steve’s. No one was there. So I’m hoping y’all are at Maria’s. I’ll probably get my ass handed to me,” he chuckles nervously, “but shit, I need to see you. And him too. I miss you guys. And I-“

“you have 0 new messages,” the machine says. A stream of hot tears roll down your cheeks. This wasn’t easy. It wasn’t fair. To anyone. Especially the guys. But you still picked up the phone. You still dialed that number. You anticipated what he’d say. Was he mad at you? At himself? Could he forgive you? Would he? Would you forgive him? “Hey,” you say softly through the phone. You hear him let out a breath and inhale one too. “I’m.. I’m sorry,” you say softly.

“Don’t be,” his raspy voice cooed, “don’t be sorry for anything.”

— — —

OH MY GOSH I REALLY LIKED THIS. Honestly the whole Chinese food part was improvised. It’s 2 am and i am CRAVVVING CHINESE.

tag(s): @coal000 / @goldenstateof / @cherrywinedarling / @justahappylilblog / @faakelanadelrey / @juicyqueenlme / @ourdreamsrealized / @boyzines / @bornfortherainydays /@fightmeandmy100fandoms / @deadpoolgirl23 / @bethanyv10 / @ilovethings-somuch / @spidey-linquentimagines / @lilypalmer1987 / @gravity-9-8 / @vivianbabz / @imeannooffensebabybut / @queendade / @irepeldirt / @petals-overdaisies / @warishaadnan / @sweetmockingbird / @loki7ms / @chickennacho1 / @dakotacheyennee / @starkxpotts / @sighscassidyy / @jellzu / @krockszz / @lowkeysebby / @chuckennuggets1213 / @wowbarnes / @eccentric-impulses / @dugan365 / @frackinawesomeninja / @cosmetologynerd / @straight–on-til-morning / @sophiealiice / @barnes-and-noble-girl / @satans-knitting-club / @grosskyjaja / @xunicornwhovianx / @evetheplum / @cravingmustardraventt5-bb / @dedicated-fangirl-forever / @sarahp879 / @fandomlover03bands-and-shietz / @wintersoldierbarnes / @keepyoureyesopenwide / @i-am-moody-yes-i-am / @fandoms-will-collide / @xcyber-queenx / @ly–canthrope / @kimskew / @mala-firebringer / @crazyjam-pot / @emotionlessteenblog / @piensa-bonito / @little-miss-headphones / @loricamebacklunacajun / @bisexualmotherfucker / @iamtrashsry / @vxidnik / @sergeant-james-bbarnes / @prussianengel / @alina-barnes / @mythrealfan / @darthestvaderever / @caitlyn1030 / @elleatrixlestrange/ @wintersoldiercomics / @letmebeyoursforever / @spidersholland / @directionerfae / @sweetlifeofadreamer / @gonnadiereading / @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan / @whataloadofmalarkey / @iwishiwasnicki / @alittle-crazy / @turdblossommm / @buckyisloved / @language-rxgers / @callmedaddys-blog / @disneychic8 / @me221187 / @the-divine-femme / @br3ndo

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fic #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers au #rrbf

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albionscastle · 7 years

Text

Don’t Play With Me

I have no trouble seeing Jack as a semi knight in shining armour type of guy as well as just drop dead sexy with the words when he wants to be.

There’s a part 2 in progress but it’s one I definitely can’t write at work ;)

FIC MASTERLIST

Your phone signaled a text message just as you were about to walk into the building. Grabbing at any delay you could, you pulled it from your clutch, stopping just outside the doors.

JL: Harry’s havin a movie night, ye up fer it? YN: Can’t, about to go to a wedding I don’t want to be at. Wish I could though. JL: Why are ye goin if ye don’ wanna be there? YN: Bride is my cousin, I have to go, but my ex is the best man. JL: The fucklump wi’ the kid? The one who ghosted ye?” YN: That’s the jackass. JL: Jesus, that sucks. Where is this shindig, maybe ye can sneak away early and come over.” YN: At the lake. I doubt I’ll make it over. Tell everyone I’m sorry. I should go in, ceremony is about to start. JL: Call me if ye need anything.

You put your phone on silent and took a deep breath, wishing that any one of your friends was here instead of you being alone. But no, you had to be stubborn, preferring to go stag rather than with an obvious pity date. Fuck you really were an idiot sometimes.

Fiddling with your dress the whole ceremony, you were aware of your ex’s eyes on you. You could have shot your friend Lisa for picking the damn thing out for you. Dresses were not your usual wardrobe choice, least of all flowy, romantic numbers with no backs.

“Show that prick what he’s missed out on.” she had cooed earlier that day as she finished your makeup.

That was the problem, you thought, as the day went through its stages. He had winked at you in a way that made your stomach churn. And your family had noticed, every comment being about you showing off for an ungrateful fuckstick you loathed. You would have been better off staying invisible.

At least Jack would have teased you about suddenly being a girl, before handing you a beer and leaving you alone.

Alone and wishing he was the one winking at you in some private joke, and then touching you, and then…

You shook your head, that kind of thinking would do no good. Jack was your friend, nothing more.

Two drinks into the reception your phone vibrated again.

JL: How’s it goin? YN: I may drink myself into oblivion, or hurl. Jury’s still out. JL: Tha’ bad? Is he givin ye grief? YN: NO, I mean he winked at me which was enough to make my skin crawl. My family is being a bit...wearying.

There was a tap on your shoulder as you read his reply, causing you to jump, dropping your phone. Your ex picked it up and you shoved it aside without finishing.

JL: I cannae blame him so much fer winkin at ye, tha dress is stunnin.

You never even saw Jack standing near you at the bar.

“Well you look sexy. If you were trying to rile me up you succeeded.”

“Fuck off, I didn’t wear it to impress you.”

“Could have fooled me, you know I always liked when you showed off those tits. Could have got one that showed off your ass too though.”

God, how had you never seen what a dirtbag he was until after it was all done between you.

“You always were crass. Besides what do you know about my ass? You didn’t touch me below the waist the entire time I knew you.”

You were oblivious to Jack choking on his beer just out of sight.

“Why do you have to be like that babe? We had a good time.”

“You had a good time, I just faked one. Every time.”

His eyes narrowed.

“Sweetheart, you aren’t exactly a prize specimen to be throwing away opportunities.”

“What opportunity would that be? To lay like an inflatable date while you get your rocks off? I’ll pass thanks.”

“I don’t see anyone else stepping up. Come on baby, let’s sneak away for few and you can re acquaint me with that talent tongue of yours.”

You were actually going to throw up.

“I’d rather drink battery acid.”

He took a step forward, reaching his hand toward you and you instinctively stepped back, colliding with a human wall.

“There ye are lass, yer cousin wouldna le me away tae find ye.”

Jack’s voice was somehow in your ear and you stiffened in shock as his body moved flush with your back, the knuckles of one hand gliding up and down your bare arm.

“Jack?” you managed to squeak as his lips brushed over your bare shoulder.

“Who’s yer friend?” his tone told you he knew exactly who you were talking to.

“Not my friend.” You smiled as Jack slid his other hand around your waist. “My ex.”

“Ohhhh, right mate, I shoul be thanking ye then.”

Your ex looked uncomfortable as the - superior-in-every-way - Jack grinned smugly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, if ye hadna let her get away, she never would ha ended up wi’ me. I ken a prize when I see one.”

You almost laughed at the angry look on your ex’s face, but any thought of him was quickly eradicated as Jack pressed his mouth to the tender spot below your ear.

“Come and dance wi’ me.” he murmured, tugging you toward the dance floor.

You left your ex without a second thought, following Jack to the centre of the floor and reveling in the feel of his arm around your waist as he pulled you close to him.

“Jack, what are you doing here?”

“I couldna in good conscience leave ye alone wi’ the wolves.”

“What about movie night?”

“Lisa an Harry needed some alone time. An there’s a wee chance she filled me in on the history here.”

“Oh God.” you went bright red.

“Dinna worry, she didna tell me anythin half as bad as wha I just heard.” his voice was tight.

“How much did you hear?”

“All of it, I was ri there. Ye never saw mah text about seein ye in tha dress did ye?”

“I think I got interrupted.”

“Tha ye did, and the bugger is still starin at ye.”

“Fuck him.”

“No mah type love.” Jack winked at you and heat pooled in your belly.

God he was gorgeous. And he was watching you, his blue eyes alight with mischief as you bit your bottom lip against the way he was making you feel.

“Tall, dark and arrogant not your type, Lowden?” you quipped with a laugh.

“Nah lass, curvy and spunky fer me.” he leaned closer, his breath hot against your ear. “Tha dress looks fucking fantastic on ye.”

You shivered as his voice deepened and rolled over you, fingers gliding across the bare skin of your back.

“I almost didn’t wear it, I feel so self-conscious.”

“Don’ be, half the men here can’t keep ther eyes off ye.”

That thought didn’t help, at all.

“Jack.” you whispered, your cheeks burning.

“Tha prick is chompin at the bit to get at ye, an he’s no gonna get close.”

“Thanks Jack, you’re a regular knight in shining armor.”

“Och no, no armor, tha shite chafes.” he laughed. “Yer welcome, wha are friends fer?”

Yeah, friends. That was the big issue wasn’t it? For a moment, as his lips had touched your skin, you had allowed yourself to hope, imagine. For a few minutes you swayed together, silently. You could feel your ex’s eyes boring into your back, making your skin crawl. You shivered and Jack’s hand on the small of your back drew you closer to his warmth.

“So wha happened wi’ tha lump?”

“The usual. He ghosted me after 9 months of dating, never spoke to him again until tonight.”

“Sounds li a real dreamboat.”

“I really know how to pick them.”

“Don’ do that.”

“Do what?”

“Make it sound li it’s yer fault. Man like tha is just rubbish.”

“Guess they all are then.”

“No all of us.”

Your eyes met his, caught in the intensity of his gaze.

“I swear if tha bastard doesna stop lookin at ye like tha I’m gonna deck ‘im one.”

“It’s not worth it Jack.”

“Sure woul make me feel better.” he muttered, his palm sliding up your back to press your body closer to him. His other hand moved your arm to drape around his neck, fingers dancing down your arm, then your side to rest on your rib cage.

You felt your breath catch as his cheek brushed against yours, his thumb rubbing back and forth over the top of your ribs.

“Woman like ye deserves tae be worshipped.” he whispered in your ear, a shiver running up your spine.

“Get off, Lowden,” you huffed. “Stop playing.”

“I’m no plain. If ye were mine I’d make sure ye were screamin mah name wi’ yer fingers pullin out me hair.”

The breath left your body in a whoosh of shock and heat.

“Tha woul just be the start, the whole neighbourhood woul know mah name by the time I was done wi’ ye.”

Your knees began to wobble as Jack’s mouth made contact with your earlobe, tongue darting out to trace the edge near your earring.

“Jack!” you hissed, feeling his smile against your ear. This was taking things too damn far. And not far enough. You were a ball of tension and want, your feelings fluttering all over the damn place.

“Dinnae fret lass, I’ll no embarrass ye in front of yer family. But I cannae guarantee tae keep mah hands off ye when we leave.”

“Jack, be serious, that’s not funny.”

“Do ye see me laughin, lass? I’m takin ye home tonight and ye’ll no be sleepin.”

“You’re pretty damn sure of yourself.”

“Yer cheeks are red, ye’re pantin in me ear and yer heart is poundin. I think we’ve danced around this long enough, don’t ye?”

What could you even say to that? To any of it? You had no idea how things had changed from his earlier playful behaviour. He’d been playing a part, hadn’t he?

“Yer over thinkin, luv. It’s no complicated.”

“Would you be saying any of this if I wasn’t wearing this dress?”

“Actually this whole weddin business put rather a crimp in me plans. I had intended tae have ye on the couch wi’ me as usual, Harry picked ou ‘The Notebook’ tae watch.”

“I hate that movie.”

“Aye, but it’s go that one scene ye know. I was gonna lean over an tell ye how much I wanted tae do that wi’ ye.”

“You’re kidding! Jesus Jack, have you never heard of asking someone out, like on a date?”

His flush told you that he hadn’t thought about doing that and you felt that hopeful flame in your heart sink. He was just like the rest of them, only after you for one thing.

“I’m not some piece of ass that you can tap into whenever you start to get horny.”

“No! Lass it’s no li tha.”

“Save it Jack. You’re just like every man I’ve ever been involved with. You treat me like a piece of meat. It’s ok to sleep with me, act all friendly, but I’m not good enough to be girlfriend material.”

Not wanting to cause a scene you had slid out of Jack’s arms and kept his hand in yours as you led him to the door. Once outside and alone though, you dropped all pretense.

“Go home Jack, forget all of this. You just got carried away with making that asshat jealous. We can talk tomorrow.”

“Please love, it’s no wha ye think, I swear tae ye.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” you said sternly, turning to walk back inside, your heart aching as you listened to him walk away.

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I AM NOT THROWIN' AWAY MY SHOT! I AM NOT THROWIN' AWAY MY SHOT! AND YO IM JUST LIKE MY COUNTRY.... -Zea

I am not throwing away my shotI am not throwing away my shotHey yo, I’m just like my countryI’m young, scrappy and hungryAnd I’m not throwing away my shotI’m ‘a get a scholarship to King’s CollegeI prob’ly shouldn’t brag, but dag, I amaze and astonishThe problem is I got a lot of brains but no polishI gotta holler just to be heardWith every word, I drop knowledgeI’m a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of coalTryin’ to reach my goal my power of speech, unimpeachableOnly nineteen but my mind is olderThese New York City streets get colder, I shoulderEvery burden, every disadvantageI have learned to manage, I don’t have a gun to brandishI walk these streets famishedThe plan is to fan this spark into a flameBut damn, it’s getting dark, so let me spell out the nameI am the A-L-E-X-A-N-D-E-R we are meant to beA colony that runs independentlyMeanwhile, Britain keeps shittin’ on us endlesslyEssentially, they tax us relentlesslyThen King George turns around, runs a spending spreeHe ain’t ever gonna set his descendants freeSo there will be a revolution in this centuryEnter me, he says in parenthesesDon’t be shocked when your hist’ry book mentions meI will lay down my life if it sets us freeEventually, you’ll see my ascendancyAnd I am not throwing away my shotI am not throwing away my shotHey yo, I’m just like my countryI’m young, scrappy and hungryAnd I’m not throwing away my shot I am not throwing away my shotI am not throwing away my shotHey yo, I’m just like my countryI’m young, scrappy and hungryAnd I’m not throwing away my shotIt’s time to take a shotI dream of life without a monarchyThe unrest in France will lead to onarchy?Onarchy how you say, how you say, anarchy?When I fight, I make the other side panickyWith my, shotYo, I’m a tailor’s apprenticeAnd I got y’all knuckleheads in loco parentisI’m joining the rebellion 'cause I know it’s my chanceTo socially advance, instead of sewin’ some pantsI’m gonna take a shotBut we’ll never be truly freeUntil those in bondage have the same rights as you and meYou and I. Do or die. Wait till I sally inOn a stallion with the first black battalionHave another shotGeniuses, lower your voicesYou keep out of trouble and you double your choicesI’m with you, but the situation is fraughtYou’ve got to be carefully taughtIf you talk, you’re gonna get shotBurr, check what we gotMister Lafayette, hard rock like LancelotI think your pants look hotLaurens, I like you a lotLet’s hatch a plot blacker than the kettle callin’ the potWhat are the odds the gods would put us all in one spotPoppin’ a squat on conventional wisdom, like it or notA bunch of revolutionary manumission abolitionists?Give me a position, show me where the ammunition isOh, am I talkin’ too loud?Sometimes I get over excited, shoot off at the mouthI never had a group of friends beforeI promise that I’ll make y’all proudLet’s get this guy in front of a crowdI am not throwing away my shotI am not throwing away my shotHey yo, I’m just like my countryI’m young, scrappy and hungryAnd I’m not throwing away my shotI am not throwing away my shotI am not throwing away my shotHey yo, I’m just like my countryI’m young, scrappy and hungryAnd I’m not throwing away my shotEverybody singWhoa, whoa, whoaHey, whoa, whoa, whoaAy, let ‘em hear yaLet’s goWhoa, whoa, whoa I said shout it to the rooftopsWhoa, whoa, whoa said, to the rooftopsWhoa, whoa, whoa come onCome on, let’s go Rise upWhen you’re living on your knees, you rise upTell your brother that he’s gotta rise upTell your sister that she's gotta rise upWhen are these colonies gonna rise up?When are these colonies gonna rise up?When are these colonies gonna rise up?When are these colonies gonna rise up?Rise up I imagine death so much it feels more like a memoryWhen’s it gonna get me?In my sleep, seven feet ahead of me?If I see it comin’, do I run or do I let it be?Is it like a beat without a melody?See, I never thought I’d live past twentyWhere I come from some get half as manyAsk anybody why we livin’ fast and we laugh, reach for a flaskWe have to make this moment last, that’s plentyScratch that this is not a moment, it’s the movementWhere all the hungriest brothers with something to prove went?Foes oppose us, we take an honest standWe roll like Moses, claimin’ our promised landAnd? If we win our independence?‘Zat a guarantee of freedom for our descendants?Or will the blood we shed begin an endless cycle of vengeance and death with no defendants?I know the action in the street is excitin'But Jesus, between all the bleedin’ ‘n fightin’I’ve been readin’ ‘n writin’We need to handle our financial situationAre we a nation of states what’s the state of our nation?I’m past patiently waitin' I’m passionatelymashin’ every expectationEvery action’s an act of creationI’m laughin' in the face of casualties and sorrowFor the first time, I’m thinkin’ past tomorrowAnd I am not throwing away my shotI am not throwing away my shotHey yo, I’m just like my countryI’m young, scrappy and hungryAnd I’m not throwing away my shotWe’re gonna rise up (time to take a shot)We’re gonna rise up (time to take a shot)We’re gonna, rise up, rise upIt's time to take a shotRise up, rise up, it's time to take a shotRise up, it's time to take a shotRise up, take a shot, shot, shotIt's time to take a shot, time to take a shotAnd I am not throwing away my shotNot throwing away my shot

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