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lilystyles · 1 year

Text

bloom.

part four of the no strings attached series by @lilystyles

no strings attached masterlist & main masterlist xxx

authors note part four is hereeeeeee!! IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE THIS. i was drowning in assignments these past few months which is why it has taken me so long. i am now on my winter break yay, so i should be able to update more regularly thanks for the patience and love XXXX

brief description y/n and harry go to dinner and something stronger blooms between them.

warnings! smut (f!receiving, blowjob, sex, cumplay, loss of virginity but is all very romantic) unprotected sex (pls wear a condom), swearing, alcohol abuse, overall just a mature read. around 11.6k words. (she's longggg omg)

inexperinced!virgin!reader x fwb!harry

* * * * *

Harry and Y/n had managed to keep their new ‘relationship’ a secret for a little over a month which Y/n was very proud of, normally she couldn’t lie to save her life. He’d come over most weekends or she’d go to his and they would eat food, sometimes they’d cook sometimes they’d go out, they would watch films, sometimes at home sometimes in the cinema. But by the end of the night after a few wines and with an old soul record playing in the background they’d pleasure each other.

It was simply perfect. Whatever, wherever they were at was the happiest they had ever been. Except maybe the few Christmases they’d had together as roommates.

Y/n had never thought she could enjoy someone else’s company this much. Within time she grew the most comfortable she ever had been with someone. He’d seen her naked, he’d seen her cry, he’d seen her bleed, and he knew all of her secrets. She felt so free around him. It was a wonderful feeling, she only wished she could tell her other friends about it and how great it was. How happy she was, how happy he made her. This free feeling? Did they have that too? Is that why they’d always encouraged her to get a boyfriend and put herself out there?

But she knew it was just easier this way — their own little bubble. Keeping it their little secret. Sometimes things went to shit once they were said out loud. She’d noticed that and was worried if she shared it with them he would disappear.

They still hadn’t had sex yet, Harry wanted to wait for the right moment for that. He knew that virginity was a silly construct but he still wanted her first time having sex to be something she wouldn’t regret. He couldn’t live with himself if he ruined that for her. He didn’t want it to feel forced and corny and like it was this dramatic live changing event but he didn’t want it to be in the back of a car in a dark car park either. He wanted it to be a nice moment. She’d been ready for weeks, since that first night even. But when Harry told her waiting was the right thing to do she listened and was grateful for his delicate handling of the situation. He was more experienced so she listened.

She trusted him.

When Harry got a text from James that day that the guys all wanted to go on a camping trip for a long weekend in the middle of spring, he called her immediately.

After a few rings, she answered. “Hi, Haz!” She sounded breathless but chirpy.

“Hey, Lovie.” He could hear clatter in the background. She must’ve been up to something. A loud bang echoed in his ear.“What are you doing, Cheeky?” He said in a playful tone.

She giggled. “I’m attempting to perfect a cookie recipe. I had a bit of an anxious day, so I needed a distraction.”

“Why didn’t you just call me? I’m happy to distract you.” He said softly, grabbing a jumper from his cupboard. He was about to ask if he could come over, not that he needed to at this point.

She wondered for a moment if he meant that in a sexual way or not. Because everything had begun to blur. Sure most of the time when she saw Harry they’d pleasure each other, but sometimes he just held her warmly in his arms. Sometimes they did nothing at all. What did it all mean? Sometimes he felt like a boyfriend, most of the time actually.

“I’m sure you have a life outside of being my distraction.” She said stubbornly, mixing the batter in the large bowl. Her arm was aching. The smell of spices and ginger filled her nose, her biggest struggle when baking was usually not eating all the batter.

“Not really. So, can I come over?”

She giggled again, softly. “Of course. See you in 20.”

“Getting in the car as we speak.”

“Drive safely please.”

He smiled. “Always, Bun.”

When he arrived at her apartment he barely had to knock before she had already opened the door.

“Hi, H!” She chirped.

“Hi, Petal.”

She opened the door wide for him. “Come in.” She was in a pair of boxers he had left behind a few nights ago they were dark blue and a tight old One Direction shirt. She’d supported them in the early stages of their career, that shirt was from way back when. She was covered in flour and other cooking ingredients, looking as adorable as ever. Wearing those ridiculous bunny slippers of hers.

He shut the door behind him following her to the kitchen where something good was cooking. She was making another batch of her cookies (she was famous for them).

“I thought you could give these to Gem and Anne when you see them, you said they were coming down last time you were ‘round. Of course, you don’t have to. But I miss them, and they used to like my cookies.” She said shyly, suddenly feeling embarrassed. He never took his eyes off her.

He grinned stepping closer to her with his arms wide. “You are the cutest.”

She blushed.

“You should come to dinner.” He pulled her into his chest, chin resting on her head. Smelling the scent of her delicious shampoo as he squeezed the plump flesh of her arms and shoulders.

She looked up, arms still wrapped around his hips, “That isn’t very friends with benefits of us though, is it?” Tucking her head into his chest, he smelt so good today. Like every day. The woodsy fresh bodywash he used was still very strong on his skin and his hair was extra fluffy. He must have showered this morning.

“I’d have asked you, either way, Love. Y’know Mum adores you. Gem too.”

She looked up. “Okay….When is it?”

“Tonight, that’s sort of why I wanted to come over. And, did you see the text James sent?”

She shook her head and walked over to the living room and found her phone buried underneath the dozens of blankets. She now saw the chat flooded with texts.

JAMES

Hi guys! Is everyone free next weekend for the long weekend? Me and Daisy have planned a lil getaway at the beach. We would love to go all together like the old times. Bring a tent and gear. X

DAISY

and bring your party pants!!

OLIVE

I’m so there. :))

FINNLEY

I’ll check, I’ve got exams coming up.

But fingers crossed.

PENNY

i am definitely coming !!!

MICHAEL

Yes bet bet. Sounds like a plan

JAMES

Harry? Y/n? U two in?

She looked up. “Sounds nice, a lil’ getaway.” She liked the idea of doing nothing with Harry by the beach and amongst nature.

“I’ll go if you go.”

That made her smile and she looked down before typing.

me and harry shall be there xxx

After that, Harry managed to get roped into helping finish the cookie decorating before Y/n rushed off to get ready for dinner. Harry had booked a swanky restaurant, so Y/n felt like she had to dress up just a bit more than their usual dinners.

Once she was out of the shower, she stared annoyedly in her towel at her options.

She remembered when Harry used to come home from touring and Anne would throw these big but intimate dinner parties and invite all his family and friends. Y/n could just wear jeans to that and they’d all bundle up around a bonfire after dinner and look at the stars. Harry and her would share a wine or two and it was simple. Harry loved how normal he felt with Y/n, even the memory of her was enough to ground him. He was glad she was back in his life, and he felt now he was ready for it and ready for her.

Harry came down the hall to her room and sat down on her bed grabbing one of her teddy bears and cuddling it in his big arms. The sight was rather funny, this big tattooed man and a little pink teddy bear cuddled up in pretty feminine soft-looking bedsheets. “I’ve got to change and pick some gifts up from back home before we go, is that okay?” He asked watching her dig through her clothes.

She nodded. “Of course! But what should I wear? What do you think?”

She was oddly nervous about tonight even though every Christmas when she went home to Holmes Chapel she went over to Harry’s Mums house for a drink and sometimes had the odd text with Gemma. She was still in contact with that side of her life it was just now she was Harry’s date to dinner. But she wasn’t his girlfriend but they’d think she was and what did that mean? Anne and Y/n’s mother had wanted them to get married for years now since they were around 10. Would this be the new talk of the town between all the mothers? She knew it was likely. Gemma was probably bringing her partner Michal, so it felt really official or something.

He watched her, her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as she stared at her cupboard.

“I’m just wearing a shirt and slacks. Simple.” He replied. “Don’t think too hard about it, you’ll look pretty in anything, Bun.”

“Harry, I bet all of your outfit is custom-made Gucci. I can’t compete with that!”

He bit his lip to hold back his laugh. “Lovie, calm down. Don’t work yourself up. Just wear somethin’ you feel nice in. If yeh’ worried about me caring that’s silly, I like yeh’ in anythin’.”

She remained frowning and started to dig through the dresses she had. She found one hidden amongst them, she wore it to her birthday once. It was a long golden slinky dress with lace detail on the hem and neckline. It was very delicate. And even though it was spring she knew it would still be chilly that evening so she grabbed a long brown coloured coat from off the door that she had been wearing most days to Uni. It was warm and woollen and she loved it.

Harry busied himself by scrolling through his phone while she got ready. It didn’t take her long, once she was happy with her outfit and had added a light pink scarf, a handbag and some shoes she went to the bathroom to do her makeup and hair.

She had already blow-dried her hair before and it was in a lovely natural state so she didn’t bother changing it. For makeup she kept it simple, only enhancing her features. When she was ready and came out Harry looked up upon the clicking of her heels.

His cheeks turned pink at the sight. Jesus. “Beautiful, Bun.” He felt no words could do it justice.

She blushed a bit too at those words and that admiring expression of his. “Thanks, Harryyy. Ready? I’ll get the cookies and lock up and then we can go, okay?”

He nodded at her standing up and following her lead as she’d put the cookies into a tin.

Once she grabbed everything else she needed they got in Harry’s car and headed to his house.

Y/n was browsing Harry’s playlists and noticed a new one in there which was unnamed only with a pink heart as the title. He wasn’t really paying attention to her on his phone, his hand was carelessly thrown on her thigh and the other the wheel, they were both pretty silent, it was calm. So he didn’t notice her scrolling through the songs — it was this soft, romantic, sleepy, soul playlist. Full of a lot of her favourites and it felt like a cosy evening. So she put it on and placed his phone back into her lap.

Harry’s ears pricked up at the sound of the song, she’d found the playlist. Was it obvious it was for her? Well, about her?

“You found it.” He whispered, the song was only softly playing as background noise. He didn’t have the radio up loud. So she heard him.

“Yeah, it’s like all m’favs.” She said, smiling gently.

He contemplated saying it, feeling his heart speed up as he spoke, “I made it f’you.”

She finally met his eyes and gave him this dazzling toothy grin. “Aw, that’s nice, Haz. Really sweet.” She leaned over kissing his cheek. She laughed when her lipstick left a stain and she rubbed it. “Sorry.”

He just gave her thigh a squeeze in reply worried he might reveal himself if he said anything else and a few songs later they arrived at his house. He told Y/n she could wait in the car because it would take him 10 minutes max to get dressed.

She nodded and scrolled through her Instagram while she waited and then replied to a text from her Mum before she turned her phone off and waited in silence. He was quick as promised and when he came out the door he was looking devilishly handsome.

She felt her body react to it. Her cheeks turned pink, her pupils grew in want, and her hands itch to touch him. Her heart was hammering against her chest and she felt a familiar twist of want in her stomach. He was in a silky black shirt that was long and tight on his muscular arms, his buttons were undone and showed off his tattoos. Which reminded her of when he had his long hair and he was this pure sex god rockstar of a man. He had a pair of black flared pinstripe trousers to match and a pair of black boots with red detailing. He looked so good she wanted to faint. She felt her thighs squeeze in want and she sighed at herself, don’t be such a perv!

He had added some extra rings and jewels from his usual bundle. Something caught her eye. It was this golden pendant with a moon and star on it, she’d bought it for him for his 19th birthday, when they first started living together. She hadn’t seen him wear it in a long time, she’d forgotten she’d even bought the thing. Y/n remembered buying it. Harry had been with her, they were at a market full of random things looking for cheap furniture for their place.

They were walking past this large jewellery stall and both admired the rings and style. It was different from the normal places they’d seen. They had tonnes of it. A glint of something gold had caught her eye, it was that pendant. It was one of the only gold among the silver. She touched it in admiration and Harry peered over her shoulder, saying it was pretty and he liked it. Harry said he thought it was cool and matched a lot of his other jewellery. But without much thought, he walked off to look at some couches in the next stall.

Y/n knew his birthday was coming up and asked the jeweller how much it was. He was this eccentric gentleman, who smiled at her. Showing the matching ring to her which was very dainty and feminine that she didn’t even think would fit Harry’s fingers. She explained that she just wanted the necklace as a gift for someone. But he said that he would not sell either piece without the other. At the time he explained it was made for two lovers, so they’d always be together, but Y/n replied it was just for a friend, truly believing he was just trying to get more money out of her. But now looking back she and Harry loved wearing them and matching. It cost her more money than she could afford at the time but she was drawn to it. Something magical in the crafting of them.

Her hand reached over to touch his neck fingers touching the chain. “Oh, my god. I forgot about that.”

He grinned. “Found it the other day.”

She wished she knew where the ring was. “I remember that ol’ thing.” Sometimes when she was in the crowd or if Harry knew she was watching the show, in the early stages that is, he’d lift up the pendant and kiss it or touch his heart where it lay. Especially if he was playing a song Y/n liked (or that was secretly about her). Sweet Creature was one he wrote for her.

When they arrived in a rather fancy area of London with very expensive restaurants and hotels, Y/n could’ve laughed. They’d both grown up okay, but they were just normal working-class families and they weren’t spoiled. She wished she could go back and tell young Harry who was always working away on his singing that’d he’d be here. She wished she could run into the bakery and tell him he’d be the most famous man ever. Tell both the young kids who were working selling pastries and bread that they would be here in a short time, together.

The valet collected the car and Harry slinked his hand into hers when they stepped out, and Y/n thought she spotted someone giving them a double-take. They quickly entered the restaurant, and the concierge took their coats for them.

The restaurant was warm and heated, with all these crisp white tablecloths, mood lighting, and crystal glasses. The waiter immediately guided them to their table which was a fancy booth and Anne was already there waiting. She got up and instantly pulled Y/n into her arms.

“I’m so glad Harry brought you, Darling! It’s so good to see, look at that gorgeous face of yours.” She squeezed her cheeks and kissed her forehead leaving a big mauve-coloured lipstick stain there. Y/n grinned so big and pulled her back in for another hug whispering sweet comments.

Anne was so lovely, Y/n had always loved her. She made one of her favourite people, and it made sense why he was so respectful and kind. So perfect.

Harry was next to be welcomed, bending down to be fussed over in her arms. Anne questioned if he’d been eating enough and began a tangent of worried remarks. He was such a momma’s boy, he could only smile gently at her.

When Gemma and Michal arrived they greeted Y/n too with hugs and kind comments and once their meals arrived all her tensions eased. She now knew she had been silly to worry. Harry’s family were just as lovely as him. She knew that already and this pressure of her being his date was stupid. They already liked her, they knew her, and they’d seen her grow up beside Harry. She was just Y/n and he was just Harry.

They ate wonderful dinners and drank expensive brands of champagne, along with some fancy French dessert Y/n had never tried that Harry insisted she ate. It was a perfect night and she was sad to say goodbye to them all. When Harry dipped to the bathroom for a minute Anne pulled her aside.

“I’m so glad you two are getting closer again, you’ve always been my favourite of his girlfriends. And these cookies! So delicious, I love when you send them over at Christmas time. Harry steals the whole thing of them, usually. No one can keep their hands off them. Ever thought of selling them?”

“Thank you, Anne. Thanks for letting me come, I hope I didn’t intrude on your family night.” She didn’t have the heart to tell her otherwise. She wished she was one of his girlfriends and she was glad someone appreciated her cookies.

When Harry back came from the bathroom he saw Y/n hugging his mum, and his heart melted at the sight.

Y/n was good with people, and his family had always loved her. She was so gentle and well-mannered. Their Mums were very close too which helped. When they had drifted Anne still updated him that Y/n was doing well, and he was always pleased to hear that.

Harry said his goodbyes too and promised them something about bringing Y/n to another family catch-up, she just smiled warmly with pink cheeks at the idea. She was leaning into his side, his big arm draped over her shoulders as he kissed her temple.

The valet handed Harry the keys and they slid into his car before driving back home finally. It was around 10 in the evening and Y/n was absolutely blissful, her hand had found his lap stroking his thigh gently as a light patter of rain began to fall down on the windows.

“You were wonderful tonight. Mums’ always loved you though, Petal.” His eyes were on the road but he was grinning anyway — unable to contain it. He felt so fucking happy.

She grinned softly. She was pretty sure she was all heart eyes for him right now. She imagined she probably looked like one of those cartoons where the guy sees a pretty woman walking down the road and his eyes pop out and his head starts spinning.

“Thanks for bringing me, Harry. It was lovely. I had a really nice night.”

He looked at her as if to say ‘duh’, “Of course, I’d bring ya’ I know we didn’t talk for a while there, but I thought of you a lot. And y’know Mum, loves ya’. You’re very important to us all.”

She looked away from him blushing down at her free hand before nodding, and softly replying. “I thought of you too. Why didn’t you come to Mum’s New Year’s party? I waited for you the whole night…”

He sighed thinking back to what she was talking about.

“I was in Japan.” He replied. “I really did contemplate flying back just for the party, but I wasn’t sure if y’wanted me too.”

She looked over at him. “I didn’t know that.”

“I know.” He replied softly.

The rest of the car journey was quiet, the gentle hum of the radio played along with the sound of rain softly hitting the glass. Harry didn’t speak he just moved his hand onto his thigh where hers rested, giving it a squeeze.

It didn’t take long to arrive back at his house, Harry opened the door for her and they quickly rushed inside to avoid the rain it had grown heavier and more wild. Y/n stepped inside first with a sigh, and Harry was not far behind. His hands slid onto her hips and lower stomach, and he kissed her neck just below her ear.

She giggled, her hands finding his. He began to whisper sweet nothings to her but was cut off by her phone ringing. He grunted in annoyance but she said she had to take the call.

He didn’t let go of her, clinging to her childishly and nuzzling his head into her soft shoulder.

“Hi, Mum.” She said into the phone, Harry paused his touch.

He could hear the sound of Y/M/N over the phone muffled.

“Anne already told you?” Y/n wanted to laugh. She looked at Harry who sighed, of course, Anne had already rung Y/n’s Mum.

“No. We aren’t dating Mum. We are just friends.” She sighed. Harry chuckled.

They weren’t just friends now. Friends don’t make each other cum, they don’t kiss, or see each other naked, friends don’t do what they do. They were way past that line now. He knew her inside and out and now he knew her more intimately than anyone ever had. Harry wondered if he’d ever have the balls to approach the subject of their relationship and where he stood.

“Mum, we were never dating. Please stop telling people he’s my ex-boyfriend.” She laughed. Her Mum was a funny old thing.

“Okay, I gotta go now. Bye, Mum.”

The muffled voice spoke again.

“Yep. Yep. Okay. Love you too. Bye.” She let out a big sigh hanging up the phone.

Harry was taking off his shoes and belt, he seemed sleepy but content. He was sat on the couch, he’d turned the mood lighting on. It was this warm glowy orange hue that washed over the room. He looked up upon hearing the end of the conversation.

“What is it with Mums?” He teased her as leant back against the plush white sofa. Y/n described it as sitting on a cloud. She napped on it all the time. His legs were all spread out and his head was thrown back.

Harry was so fucking hot. All the time. Did he never get tired of looking so handsome?

She shrugged, walking over to sit beside him and threw her legs up so she was laying on his lap. Her cheek rested on his thigh, and Harry’s painted fingernails scratched the roots of her hair. She made a little content sigh, letting her eyes flutter shut. Him touching her was like heaven.

“Mm. Feels nice, Harry.” He let out a little chuckle. She was practically purring from his touch, all curled up on his lap. Her hands were resting on his knee, and he found himself admiring them. So dainty and delicate. Sometimes he pondered adding a ring to that finger of hers. He thought she’d be a very good person to grow old with. She loved routines and nights in, but she was witty and intelligent, though she loved simplicity she was definitely not boring. She kept you on your toes.

He wanted to stay like this forever. She was practically falling asleep in his lap, like putty in his hands. She made the odd sigh or moan in contentment every now and then as he let her destress.

She had been a bit stressed with Uni and her life at the moment, the work of it all was hard right now, so he wanted to do anything to help her calm down. The dinner had been a nice distraction for her, and she seemed a lot happier that evening than the text he had received from her that morning.

She rolled over to her other side so her face was near his hip nose grazing against his skin which smelt so fucking good — he used this expensive woodsy cinnamon soap it made her want to lick him all over. He continued his slow and delicate scratch on her head and his other hand rubbed her exposed back. Her hands moved to under his shirt, trailing along his fern tattoos and grazing the wisps of hair that lead underneath his waistband. Her nose grazed his skin as she tiredly nuzzled into him, feeling her eyes shut. She felt so safe in his lap and arms.

It was so domestic. They had become so domestic. He wished every day he could come home and say something cheesy like ‘Honey, I’m home!’ and scoop her up into his arms and kiss her silly. He longed for nights like this watching TV as she rested on his chest, moving with the rise and fall of his chest. He wanted the mornings too. When she grumpily didn’t want to wake up unless it was from kisses and a coffee.

“Do y’want some wine?” He asked her, his voice all raspy.

They’d only each had a glass of champagne with dinner which had long since faded. Leaving them very sober.

“Sure. Red?” She asked sitting up. Her hair was slightly messy from his playing with it.

He nodded his hand finding her chin and lifting it up. “Whatever y’want, Lovie.” He kissed her forehead before getting up and moving to the kitchen. She finally took her heels off and removed her scarf placing them on the floor. She stood up, feeling the soft rug on her sore feet.

She leaned down to the coffee table lighting some candles of his. She lit a soap-smelling one and then a lavender one. Then once she was happy with that she walked over to his records and looked for something nice to play.

She stumbled upon a Marvin Gaye one and she giggled to herself. It was kind of cheesy love making music, so she picked that one. She placed the record down on the turn table part and placed the stylus down. It began to hum a gentle sultry song and she moved back to the couch.

When Harry came back she was laying on the couch, spread out as she hummed along to Marvin Gaye. In his hands, he had a bottle red all the way from New Zealand and two pink-tinted wine glasses.

He laughed at her. “Look at yeh, Minx.” He teased.

She smiled up at him, her dress was hiked up and she looked like the embodiment of idleness. She sat up so he could join her and he poured them both a glass.

They only had two glasses each before Y/n started to droop tiredly against his shoulder. He found her particularly adorable like that. When he finished his final sip he helped her up so they could go to sleep, he blew out the candles too. She followed him lazily up the stairs and into the bedroom, arms wrapped around his waist and tummy.

He found a random Fleetwood Mac shirt and some grey tracksuit pants for her to wear in one of his messy drawers.

She changed out of the dress and was so happy to get her bra off. It was this pretty lacy one that had Harry frothing at the mouth. Her undies followed once he began to change as well. He found a pair of black silky sleeping pants and didn’t bother with a top.

She followed him to the ensuite and found the cotton pads and makeup remover he had just for her. She began to wipe off the makeup and was glad to be rid of it. He was brushing his teeth silently beside her and she watched him through the mirror. He caught her and gave her a wink.

She just made a little kissy face in response. He smiled against the toothbrush, a rim of foam around his lips. Once she was done with all that she threw the rubbish into the small bin beside the toilet.

“Do you have face wash?” She said quietly.

He nodded, spitting into the sink. “Just up there.” He pointed to the cupboard which was also the mirror.

She opened it, rising on her tip toes for a second.

“Blue.” He replied. She squinted trying to find the blue bottle, he had an array of skincare products. She saw a big dark blue bottle, she reached for it and he nodded showing her that was the right one.

They both washed their faces together and he smiled watching it foam up against her skin. Once they had washed their faces Y/n finally brushed her teeth and they went to bed.

She sighed slipping into the big fluffy bed. He had some pale blue sheets on this week. He slid in beside her wrapping his strong arms around her and pulling her into him. He nuzzled his face into her neck and shoulder, the very slight stubble nipping her skin.

The backs of her thighs pressed against the front of his, her bum pressed up nicely against his soft silky pants and his hands squeezed the soft plump of her tummy in comfort. It wasn’t particularly late, but they loved to be inside Harry’s big bed and just cuddle.

“Y’were just perfect tonight. How someone hasn’t swept y’up and kept yeh I dunno…” He whispered kissing the top of her header, nose brushing against her hair, inhaling her shampoo.

She flushed. “No one’s really tried, H.” He made her heart pick up at the comment. This man and his flattery.

“Lucky f’me. Means I can have ya’ all ta’ myself.” It was meant as a joke, but honestly, he selfishly did want her all to himself. She was so perfect.

She giggled. “Lucky you.”

He squeezed her closer and tighter. She giggled some more, wriggling in his grip. One of his hands moved to her upper thigh. She stopped and leaned into the touch. They didn’t talk they just started to relax into a sleepy silence, the chilly air making them want to bask in each other’s warmth even more.

He kissed her shoulder every now and then soothingly and Y/n shut her eyes. Basking in the feeling of him. His presence made her feel so safe she wanted to sleep often.

“Harry, do you ever think about how long we’ve known each other?” She asked randomly, as his hands continued to rub her body feeling her soft skin against his palms.

“All the time, Petal. Why?” He said softly, his voice was all raspy and gravelly. It made her feel something in the pit of her stomach. He made it even harder for her not to beg for him, this waiting game felt like edging.

“It’s just funny to me how much we have changed, but also how little we have too. I mean we’ve known each other since what? Daycare? And that little boy is still you…”

He understood exactly what she meant. Some things would never change about Harry even with age. Like, he would always be kind and always make an effort. He would always have 3 sugars in his tea unlike, Y/n who would prefer none. He would always enjoy cheesy romance films and love the idea of love. He will always admire old couples walking down the street. And she would always see the more practical side to love.

She thought back to when they were younger teenagers and how he was rather distant from her in the sense that they were in the same friend group but funnily enough never really talked alone. Then she remembered that in their final year at school Harry, who had refused to dance with anyone else, asked Y/n to dance with him because he knew she’d been waiting for the boy she fancied to ask her all night. Sitting all pretty by herself, feeling like her efforts had been a waste. Only to find herself in the hands of him, spinning and laughing underneath the disco ball.

Then in University when they found out they were going to the same place they naturally found an apartment together, with a slight push from their mothers. Who felt at ease knowing their babies would have each other. Which was weird at first but soon they were at a furniture shop testing mattresses and giggling.

She never felt uncomfortable around Harry, but once she was close to him she knew she was done for. She knew that for the rest of her life, she’d want him. Crave him close to her. He kind of felt that too, but in a different sense.

It was more like they kept finding each other unplanned. During school they’d had so many lessons together, sitting with each other quietly. After school, his Mum had her family over for a meal. Then sometimes at the bakery, where they served familiar faces, and between breaks they sipped hot chocolate together. At the end of year dance Y/n and Harry were the only two without dates, and so he danced with her. When University rolled around no one else was going, and of course, Y/n had accidentally by luck of the draw picked the same school as him. They both happened to need a roommate and then they were roommates, then finally best friends. It was as simple as that, it just fell into place with her. He never forced anything.

Oh, how he loved those memories of being her roommate and best friend. Whenever he thought back to those times he couldn’t help but grin. Neither had ever anticipated anything that would happen — him famous, and her here with him, cuddled in bed.

“It’s like we can’t not be in each other’s lives. You’re always there for me, showing up.” Was all he could manage to say.

It’s true, when they had drifted and he did a tour for his first album she came to a show with her own money.

Anne had called her up explaining in a panic how nervous he was for this tour. It was his first without the band. So, with little thought Y/n went in support because no one else could make it, Anne and Gemma both had stuff they couldn’t back out of. Anne knew Y/n would do it for Harry. Everyone knew she’d do just about anything for him except, well, him.

She was in the front row, dressed in a familiar outfit that took him back in time. It was this lavender dress from their school days. She’d worn it to the dance. It was bouncy and had big puffy sleeves, all short and fluffy.

He hadn’t expected it at all.

He came out, dancing and going wild for one of his louder and more upbeat songs. When he finally greeted the crowd he scanned them and said politely. “Hi, I’m Harry!”

She rolled her eyes. How was he still so devilishly charming?

He spotted something familiar, someone, familiar. Her eyes, her smile, and that dress took him back. Suddenly he felt like he was at home, in Holmes Chapel and he was just singing karaoke with his old friends.

“Y/n?!” He said with a grin. Completely shocked, he shook his head in a puppydog like manner. The few longtime fans in the crowd cheered loudly, knowing her from photos off his Instagram. Anne had a few up on her Instagram too and they seemed to love Y/n in the comments (mainly).

She waved at him. Mouthing, “Hi, H!” She couldn’t contain her smile.

She could see in his eyes how much it meant to him. They got all glassy and soft. Even if they hadn’t spoken in a while she calmed him down immediately. He hadn’t realised how much having her there would calm him.

She was like chamomile tea, a warm bed, all things nice and calming.

“Thank you for being here, for those of you who don’t know, Y/n is a very old friend of mine. We worked together in a bakery.” He jested.

Y/n giggled.

It felt right for him to sing this song next, “This next one is Sweet Creature.”

“I’ll always be there for you, H. You know that.” She said tenderly.

He rolled her around to face him so he could see her pretty face spewing these kind words. This deep pensive look in his eye. “I’m…I’m really glad you’re here with me…in this moment…this time in my life. I never really noticed how mundane life felt until you came back into mine.”

She felt herself melt like ice cream sitting in the blistering sun during a summer day. She kind of wanted to cry at how sweet he was. Harry wasn’t even her boyfriend but shit these feelings. They were real. Her body went even softer in his arms.

She lifted her hands up from her sides to his cheeks pushing his head down so she could lean in and place a kiss on his forehead. His hair smelt delicious like soap and peppermint.

He hadn’t expected that but he felt himself flush pink. The innocent touches are what made him blush the most. She was so gentle with him.

“Oh, Harry.” She sighed, pulling away and tucking a stray curl of his behind his ear. “Me too.”

He smiled leaning forward. “Can I kiss you?”

Y/n rolled her eyes teasingly. “Of course.”

His hands slid around to her back, blunt nails scratching her skin perfectly underneath the Fleetwood Mac shirt. He leaned forward into her lightly pecking her puffy lips, remaining very gentle at first. Her hands moved to his neck fiddling with the hair that rested there as she leaned into him. She threw her leg up to his hip and he moved one of his hands to stroke it gently. It was so soft and romantic.

As the kiss began to deepen she gripped his shoulders trying to press her chest even closer to his wanting to be as close to him as possible. He hummed softly, feeling her tits press into him. Her nipples were hard and he wanted them in his mouth.

“Mm, you’re perfect.” He muttered against her lips.

She smiled into the kiss, and he used that as an excuse to slip his tongue in ever so slightly. That’s when the kiss began to grow more fiery and passionate. He nibbled her lip and pulled her body even closer letting her roll on top of him as she mewled.

Her hips rocked needily against his silky pants and he moved his kisses down her jaw and neck peppering them frenziedly, loving the little whimpers and whines that escaped her lips. Which only spurred him on to continue further down to the top of her chest.

The way she was rocking against him was making him lose his mind. Her hands clawed his chest as she whispered quietly. “Please, Harry.”

This tension had been building for weeks. She wanted him so fucking badly. It was always on her mind, and it was honestly distracting. She’d been trying to write an Essay that morning and all she could think of was him, and in a horny flurry, she imagined him bending her over the desk. Making her scream with pleasure as he often did.

“S’good f’me, Baby.” He breathed out. Hands finding her hips now, forcing them harder against him. Thinking filthy thoughts of him burying himself in her dripping pussy.

Her lips pressed into his shoulder and then slowly moved down the side of his body, kissing along his tattoos, biting and licking some parts of his tanned bare skin. Until she was finally by his waistband, her pink chipped fingernails teased his snail trail of hair that led to underneath the silk. His skin was so soft there.

His eyes became all hooded, animalistic-like. He was looking at her like he wanted to eat her. But he remained calm and gentle with touches. His hands found her hair, all his rings were off so she felt no sting of metal on her skin. His fingers were running through it delicately and moving it away from her beautiful face.

“Prettiest girl in the world.” He muttered and she blushed resting her cheek on his thigh.

“Thank you, Baby.” She sighed.

She only ever let those pet names slip during these moments and it made him so fucking needy for her. He just smiled softly, at ease. “Of course.”

“Can I taste you, H? Please?”

He let his eyes shut and he softly whined as her hand palmed against his pant-covered cock. He was stiff beneath her touch, and she could feel him throbbing at the contact. “You can do whatever you want to me, Angel.”

She giggled teasingly giving his prick a firmer squeeze. “Don’t promise me that. We’ll never leave this bed.”

He took a shaky breath at her words, she was just so fucking hot without even trying. She literally just spoke her mind, and it had him frothing.

“Is that a threat or a promise?” He replied breathily.

He opened his eyes, thinking back to all those nights in school when he’d dreamt of her sexually. He’d felt guilty a lot of the time for it of course, but she was just so fucking pretty and sexy without realising it. Like when they went swimming during the summer and she wore this cute little pink floral bikini, he would go home and in the summer heat, he would imagine it was her wrapped around him. He’d probably wanked to every filthy fantasy he’d ever had. Her sucking him off, maybe him fucking her throat watching tears spill from her eyes. Him eating her pretty pussy and making her feel so good she saw stars. Making love to her softly and romantically as she deserved, and sometimes he thought of fucking her roughly and needily. In different positions for hours. All the ones he could think of. But every time he came, he’d come back to and realise it was just his fist and not her mouth, hand, or precious pussy.

But now she was here in front of him, eyes all big looking up at him, ready and eager to take him into her mouth. She was real and she wanted him.

“Yes, Angel.” He rasped.

These moments always felt surreal to him. Especially because of how well they knew each other, now that they had started to explore each other’s bodies it was the most vulnerable they had ever been. No one would ever know them better than each other.

Which is why her hand that was ghosting over his thick cock made him feel so close already from a mere touch.

She was dream-like.

“Mmm.” He whined. He was sensitive to her touch always, but tonight it was more than usual. They both pulled his pants off together so she could rest between his thighs, her mouth right in front of his leaking pink tip.

She was feeling a bit more vocal tonight. He loved it. “You have such a pretty dick, Harry. So big and veiny.”

He laughed softly, his hand running through his hair which had fallen into his eyes. “You think so?”

“I never really thought I could actually feel that way until I saw yours. It’s so pretty like the rest of you. It makes sense you have such a nice cock, it matches.” This new side to her had him dying in want.

God, he just wanted her so badly. He wanted to feel those pink slick lips around his cock, and watch her take him into her tight throat. Last night he’d even cum to the thought in the shower.

“You’re so sweet to me, Bun.”

She gave a gentle smile in response before shuffling closer to his glistening prick. Pursing her lips slightly as a string of spit dripped landing on the ruddy head, his breath hitched at the contact. His hands gripped the sheets roughly. When she finally leaned down close to him she did a signature kiss like always. The sight alone was enough to make him cum.

“Such a good girl for me, Baby.” He muttered his hands coming up to her hair pulling it away so he could see her adorable face as she kitten licked against his slick shaft. Her face was flushed pink like always when they’d been kissing, so pretty. She clenched her thighs at that comment and he noticed, very well aware now how much she loved his praise. Loved being told she was good for him, because she truly wanted to be good for him.

Leaning down further she fully enveloped his tip into her mouth, her tongue was a welcome contact against him and he whined loudly. “Fuck.” He said softly and involuntarily throwing his head back.

She had gained more confidence since that night on New Year’s Eve, she knew how he liked and had learnt to make him cum in mere minutes now. She had learnt to take most of him in her mouth too. Which she was surprised she could do considering how large he was.

As she swallowed him deeper into her mouth he heard a little choking sound as she went deeper than usual. Her nose grazed his navel and he cried out. She was taking him so fucking deep, the trail of hair tickled her noise.

“Shit, just like that sweet girl, so fucking good, deep. Fuck.”

She began bobbing her head faster and could feel him throb against her tongue, she would never be used to how large she was ever but she had started to learn ways to take him. He moaned loudly, unable to contain himself at her rapid pace. She pulled up for air for a second her hand coming down to stroke his slick cock at the loss of her throat so he wouldn’t miss her touch.

“H, y’can guide my head, it’s okay. I wanna make y’feel good. Move your hips too if that’s what you want.” She said slightly out of breath, spit and precum dribbled down her chin.

He looked at her eyes for reassurance and he saw a content look in them. “Okay, Love, just tap my legs if it’s too much.”

She nodded. “Ok, H.”

He smiled and she moved back down, taking a deep breath before she took him back into her mouth. He sighed, “Ah, mm.”

His hands had moved into her hair holding her head soft yet firm on his cock, when she made it to about halfway around him her tongue was swirling delicately against his engorged prick and he felt so close to cumming already. It had only been a few minutes.

She was struggling to stop her legs from squeezing together, his sounds made her so wet she felt herself dripping down her thighs. He began to gently guide her head into a bobbing rhythm and he felt a drip of precum fall out his head and he knew if they’d kept this up in another few minutes he’d cum.

“Oh god, Y/n, your so fucking perfect taking me like this. Letting me use you.” He uttered, “Such a good girl letting me take your mouth like this. So filthy. My filthy girl.”

She moaned softly against his twitching cock and he whined, pulling her head up off him. She took a large breath in. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” She said quickly.

He shook his head quickly. “No, you were fucking perfect, I just don’t want to cum yet.”

She looked at him, eyes all doe-like and lips sticky with his slick. Cocking her head to the side, “Why not?”

He moved his hands to her shoulders. “Let me take care of you, I wanna make you feel good. You’ve been so good for me today. Such a sweet little thing. Let me take of my sweet girl.”

My sweet girl. Y/n felt her heart skip a beat.

She listened but pouted at his request. Sad his cum wasn’t down her throat. “Harryyy,” She whined.

“What is it, Love, hmm?” But he knew full well what she was whining about. It had been apparent from the first night that Y/n loved his cum. She loved making him cum. In her mouth, on her tits, whatever he wanted. She often daydreamed of it in other places. Harry knew this.

She just continued to pout. “Enough whining. Be good f’me.” He ordered. “Let me take care of you. ”

Her face remained pouty but she spread her legs for him anyway and he yanked her pants down in one motion, she opened her legs for him widely and his hands stroked her thighs feeling the soft skin there. He motioned for her to take her shirt off as well. She threw it across the room.

He moved his hand up to her mouth tapping against her wet lips, he did that when he wanted her to suck on them. She opened her mouth for his fingers making sure to swirl her tongue around them just to tease him a bit. He moved his eyes from her glistening pussy to her mouth and cheeky expression. He pulled them away. The popping noise made him smirk.

“I don’t exactly need the help, you’re already dripping for me.” He teased, running his newly lubricated fingers against her puffy clit.

She moaned as her hips stuttered against his gentle hand. He laughed at her.

She wanted to be embarrassed but this being the millionth time Harry was between her legs she had given up hiding how wet he made her. Most mornings he wanted to start the day that way, right between her soft thighs pressing into his cheeks.

“How could I not be, Harry? You drive me mad.” She replied her hands moving to his hair.

He smirked biting his lip. The heat of his breath made her squirm against him and his nose bumped her swollen clit. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss there. The taste of her was sweet and tangy on his tongue, and he was addicted. He began to lap up all the leaking arousal, making a filthy sound in his silent room.

Her moans were soft and freely escaping her mouth, thighs squeezing against him as she tugged on his soft hair. She felt at complete ease underneath his harsh tongue.

All her stress was melting away with his lick and suck, this was such a good outlet for her worries. She only thought of him. His mouth, his moans, and his prick.

“Harry,” She whimpered at the feel of his firm tongue. “Shit.” She breathed throwing her head back into his pillows, screwing her eyes shut.

She felt his fingers glide up and down against her weeping hole until he finally slipped one inside. Feeling her clench against him firmly, he wished he was inside of her right now. Her velvety walls were so wet against his hand and he felt her dribble onto his hand as he began to speed up his thrusts. He added another finger.

His tongue didn’t stop suckling on her clit and curled his fingers against her, feeling the way her pussy stuttered against his fingers in an irregular clench. A telltale sign she was getting close to the brink of her orgasm.

“Jesus, Harry, how are you s’good at tha’? Think m’gonna cum soon.” She purred as her hips lifted up and her back arched off the bed.

He pulled his mouth back for a moment, his fingers speeding up and going deeper, as he rasped from wet lips. “S’okay Baby, cum for me, let go. Be good n’ cum f’me. I want it.”

She let out a mewling whine, tugging his hair harder. It was as if his words was the final thing she needed before she felt the start of her pleasure rise in her stomach.

He quickly moved his mouth back down and felt her puffy clit throb against his tongue and a drip of her slick fell down his chin as she let out a guttural cry.

A wave of bliss spasmed from her stomach to her stretched-out pussy, and she felt it pulsate over her entire body. Her eyes squeezed shut and she tugged his hair hard enough that he grunted against her.

“M’cumming! Fuck!” She felt lightheaded.

He pulled up for air, pumping his fingers quickly. “Good girl.” He praised breathily. Spent from working hard to make her cum.

When he felt her come down fully from the high of her climax he pulled his fingers out and licked them clean. “Mmm. I love how you taste, Petal. Sweet.”

She let her thighs drop in fatigue and she lifted her hand to her sweating forehead. Her blissed expression made him grin.

“Fucking hell, Harry.” Her tummy clenched at his words.

Her hand grabbed his shoulder and he moved back on top of her pulling her into a chaste kiss. She could taste the tang of herself on his lips. His tongue slid against hers and he tasted of her. She moaned softly into his mouth. He pulled back, “You’re so beautiful.”

She bumped her nose into his. “Harry?”

He kissed her jaw, “Yeah, Love?”

“I want you inside of me. Please.” She sighed, pupils dilated. “I want to be close to you, Harry.”

“Are you sure?”

She mewled. “I want you so bad, Baby. Please.”

How could he say no to her? She was all sweet and whiny, and her naked in his bed. “Okay. I want that too.”

He pecked her lips softly before pulling away. “Gimme one second.”

He got up off the bed and moved over to his bedside table finding a box of matches and lighting the few candles he had there.

She giggled at him. “What are you doing?”

He just grinned, “Making it special, Lovie.”

She felt her chest flutter and a big toothy grin made its way to her face. Harry knew that Y/n was more practical, he was the hopeless romantic out of the two of them. But he wanted to make Y/n feel special, he wanted to be sappy for her.

He got up again walking into his cupboard.

“What else are you up to back there?!” She said with a giggle.

When he came back out he had a bag with something in it. It was hard for her to see because it was dark. She squinted trying to understand.

“Hold on stay there.” He said nipping his lip, he grabbed a handful of contents from the bag. Before throwing them onto the bed around her.

She opened her eyes looking to her sides under the dim light, plucking one up in between her fingers. “Is that rose petals?”

“Yeah.” He smiled, scratching his neck nervously. “I know it’s cheesy, but I wanted you to feel special.”

She couldn’t believe he went to all that effort.

“Anything else?” She prodded.

He smirked. “One more thing.” He pulled something out from behind his back. It was one of those cheap plastic roses and he put the stem in his teeth and raise his brows.

She laughed loudly, gently pushing his shoulder. “You are so corny!”

He pulled the rose out of his mouth, offering it to her goofily, feigning a gentlemanly gesture. “Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of being the first. I feel so lucky. It’s truly a privilege.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh shoosh.”

“I’m serious. I know it’s silly, but I feel grateful that I can be with you in this way. You’re my best friend. You’re very special to me.” He said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She leaned into the warmth of his palm.

“You’re my best friend, H. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my first. I trust you.”

He felt his heart swell and he moved back on top of her. His arms were straight beside her head.

“Kiss me please.” She said breathily.

He moved his face closer, nose bumping into hers as he pecked her top lip. She met him in the kiss her hands glided over to his shoulders. Both their eyes fluttered shut.

There was little urgency in their kiss, though Y/n felt herself ache for him but she felt no urge to rush him. Harry always liked to take his time. He used his free hand to slide down to her hip gently squeezing the flesh there.

He started to scatter his kisses down along her jaw and nipped her ear. She sighed softly letting a moan slip in contentment. Her hands moved to his hair softly massaging his head.

His kisses travelled further down to her neck and he sucked harshly against her nipping the soft skin, she hissed in pleasure and he licked back over the spot to soothe her. Her pretty sighs of contentment made him smile against her skin.

His lips grazed further down across her chest and he could hear the pounding of her heart.

“Are y’nervous, Bun?” He asked, eyes looking up to meet hers.

She looked down at him. “A little but, I don’t need to be do I?”

“No, it’s just me.”

She smiled, moving a curl away from his forehead, “Just Harry.”

“Exactly, just me. But you know that if you wanna stop at any time you tell me. Or if it hurts, or for any reason just say it and I’ll stop. We can just cuddle, I won’t mind.” He replied.

“I know, I will.” She said.

“Good girl.” He kissed her heaving chest as he moved further down lapping her nipple up into his mouth.

She squirmed her hips against the thigh that rested between her legs, he could feel how wet she was against his bare skin. “Ah,” She cried softly.

His free hand massaged the tit that wasn’t in his mouth softly. Her back arched into his touch. “Oh, Harry, you are so good at that. Fuck.”

He chuckled lightly moving back up to her face. “You ready?”

She nodded. “Mhmm.”

He kissed her forehead in response, pulling off her.

“Where are you going?” She grabbed his arms.

“To get a condom.”

“No, it’s okay,”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He felt his prick twitch at her words.

“Okay.”

Her legs wrapped around his waist and he moved his free hand down to grab ahold of himself. She felt the head of his cock pulsating against her sensitive clit. “M’ gonna go slow, okay?”

She nodded, her chest heaving into his. “Mmkay.” She breathed.

He dragged the tip down to her weeping hole, hissing at the contact of it.

“You okay?” She asked.

He pressed his forehead into hers. “Yeah, you?”

She nodded.

That was enough reassurance for him to start to slip inside, his cock was so heavy in need. Even though he had gotten her more comfortable and stretched for him with his fingers it still stung as he pushed inside.

Only the head of him was inside and she already felt so stretched.

“S’big.” She muttered.

He was going very slowly, his eyes trained on her face, and the pinched expression she was sporting. Worried that it was too painful. Knowing he was rather large.

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, and she squeezed back. “Keep going, please.” She said.

He nodded in reply, slowly pushing his hips further. She sighed in discomfort, feeling the veins of him against her. She clenched and he hissed. Pushing further, he felt his cock splitting her open.

He noticed her eyes were glassy and a tear slipped from her eye as she bit her lip.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked rushedly.

She shook her head. “No, keep going, just stings a bit.” She tried to explain.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded, “Mhm.”

He rocked forward and he felt him slip into her further. “M’nearly there, Love,” He soothed, kissing her temple.

When he rutted one final thrust his balls pressed against her ass. They both whimpered at the contact.

Her eyes were dilated as she felt completely full of him. “Shit, Harry.” Her legs were wrapped around his lower back holding him close.

“You’re so tight, fuck me,” He whined. She was clenching rythmically around his throbbing prick.

“You can move,” She knew that soon the pain would become pleasure, it would melt away soon, it was already beginning too.

He buried his face in the side of her neck, smelling her perfume and natural scent as he moans grew louder muffled by her shoulder. His thrusts began shallow and slow and she whined loudly. Her arms wrapped around the expanse of his back and she scratched along his shoulderblades.

He hissed at the pain, loving the sting.

“Harry,” She cried out when he started to speed up into her, ramming against her sensitive spongey spot that made her lose her mind, he was the only one who could reach that deep inside of her. She felt him all the way in her stomach. She was already sensitive from her previous orgasm and was keening at the feeling of his slow needy rutting.

He whined at the feel of her clamping down on him. “Fuck, Y/n.”

The pain had subsided to pleasure, the sting hardly noticeable now. She squeezed his shoulder, “Feels good, H.”

He started to speed up now, pounding into her at a ruthless speeed. “Shit, Baby, feel s’good on m’cock.”

He was needily moving into her, as his head remained buried by her neck breathing in the delicious sent of her. It had been a long time since he’d had sex and since he had only been with Y/n for these few months now he’d only had blowies or handjobs, which were great don’t get him wrong, but nothing and I mean nothing compared to her wet tight pussy. God, he’d dreamed of it. Nights and nights he’d lay awake dreaming of it. Dreamed of burying himself in there deeply, and the little sounds it would make.

He knew the right thing to do was to wait, and he was so glad he did. But it meant he was worried he might cum inside her already, the tension building all this time meant he was so pent up. He just wanted to release all his sexual frustrations from these past few months. She was so perfect against his cock, like it was made to wrap around him.

“Like this pussy was made for me.” He rambled.

“I can feel you in my tummy, H.” She whined shutting her eyes, and he pulled up from her should moving his hand to press onto the now bulging flesh of her tummy. With each pump he felt her clench against his prick and saw the faint bulge of his cock. He could feel himself with each thrust, as they both moaned.

He moved that hand from her tummy down lower to her swollen clit that was begging for attention. Rubbing harsh circles and her hips twitched. “Oh god, Harry,”

He wanted to feel her cum on his cock, he was desprate for the feeling, he could already tell she was getting closer to the brink from the stimulation on her puffy senstive clit and his thick prick pounding into her. The clamping of her pussy was growing irregular and when his thrusts went particularly deep inside of her, her eyes rolled back.

She felt euphoric, this white blistering hot feeling was shooting through her from head to toe.

She was honestly surprised how good he made her feel, when she was younger and all her friends were losing their virginities they told her it hurt and that it was awkward. Or that they didn’t cum, and there was no foreplay. She had expected that Harry would know what he was doing, but even that didn’t live up to this moment. She had also known that it may not be as pleasurable until later on but she was feeling like she was on cloud fucking nine.

“You’re so pretty, such a pretty little thing.” He mumbled as he placed some kisses down her neck and along her collarbone.

She mewled her back arching into him. “Oh, fuck,” she whispered with a slight disbeleif in her eyes, “think you’re gonna make me cum, Baby.”

He watched her with a sultry grin, as her eyes screwed shut and the hands that were on his back started to scratch along the tan flesh once again much sharper. “Don’t stop,” She panted.

“Such a good girl f’me. Y’gonna come on my cock?” He asked teasingly, with a pant.

She could only whine in response, biting her lip at the intensity.

“Atta’ girl. Be a good girl and cum on m’cock.” He praised.

She started to shake, the feeling of his fingers still on her clit was pushing her to her orgasm. Her tummy clenched and she couldn’t contain her hips from squirming up into his. This intense wave of bliss rushed through her as waves of pleasure melted from her chest to her stomach all the way down to her throbbing pussy that was wrapped around him.

Her heart was thumping in her chest as her entire body twitched in delight and climax. His prick never stopped it's pounding as he let her orgasm ride out. It was longer than the first one and like nothing she had ever felt before. She’d only dreamt of this kind of pleasure and usually Harry was the one giving it too her. She felt like it was an out of body experience, her head became lightheaded and stars appeared in her vision. She hadn’t even heard her self crying out, until she came back too.

He slowed down to allow her a moment to catch her breath. Her pussy felt so senstive that even these more gentle and tame strokes had her basically sobbing with pleasure.

“I’m close, Sweet girl,” He hissed and he began to speed up once more now his thrusts were sloppy and an uneven rhythm. Her orgasm had made him lose any last bit of control he had.

She could barely speak she was so spent. “Please,” She didn’t know what exactly she was begging for.

He pushed his lips into hers and trapped her in a kiss, her hands found their way into his thick hair which was coated in a light dampness from sweat. She moaned against them and he was whimpering into her swollen lips. He pulled his lips off hers for a moment as he whimpered a desprate, “Gonna’ cum.”

She managed to breath out a soft, “Cum for me Harry,”

The delicacy of her voice made him lose it and he felt his cock twitch in release, hot spurts of his cum shot up inside her and she felt him fill her up completely. He whimpered the most despratelty she’d ever heard and his head fell into her neck. “Fuck,” He breathed.

Her pussy was still clenched around him tightly. “That was…wow.”

She giggled. “That was perfect.”

He lifted up from her shoulder and captured her lips into a kiss. It was long and tender and much softer than then the urgent act they’d just comitted. He itched to say it, those three words, but all that came out was.

“You’re gorgeous, Y/n.”

“Thank you, Harry,”

He kissed her forehead. “Come on, let's clean you up.”

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delicrieux · 10 months

Text

—𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭, ch.3: sweet dreams, chicago

pairing—carmy berzatto x f!reader genre—drama, romance, age gap, boss/employee relationship warnings for this chapter—anxiety, (+18) masturbation, mb one (1) allusion to a blowjob, swearing, excessive use of cigarettes word count—3.6k

detailed instructions on how to fuck up your life in 30 seconds

author’s note: tremendously down bad, lonely, and socially inept? not talking abt u LOSER im talking abt carmen. my lil meow meow

masterlist | buy me coffee☕ | eyvcte masterlist | < back. next >

important! some of the dialogue scenes are written as a script & dialogues that overlap are marked in [] <3

tell them

not white, gray – the exact color of cigarette ash, the red ember a reflected streak of sunlight; these walls box him in, and it’s always a surprise that space can feel so vast and so confining all at once. the plastic chair he sits on is unforgiving on his back. his foot sounds a pattern on the tiled floor to impair the silence.

he’s aware of it, of everything: his pursed lips, trembling lashes, quick blinks, slight sniffle, flitting irises, the light coat of sweat forming by his hairline. the taunt flex of his muscles; twitch of fingers that have nothing to grasp onto but each other. the tapping. pulsing in his jaw and temple. the tapping.

tell them

he tries to stare ahead, keep straight – it’s not expected of him, but he wishes he could do it. wishes he could face the silhouette sat across, too close and too far.

“well?” she prompts – a prim woman with a kind face sunken from all the miseries she had collected over the years, “how are you, carmen?”

a sharp exhale through the nose, like a humorless snort; corner of his lips pinching into a grimace that could resemble a smile, if one was generous enough, “how am i?” he repeats, “how am i?”

tell them

tell them your

“chef?”

storage closet. he keeps his hand firmly on the handle and breathes, jaw tense, head bent, illuminated in the shitty buzzing lights. the containers are organized – did it himself. methodically set cans with no spaces between them, all in neat rows. one’s a bit too close to the edge, sticking out. someone had moved it. he rubs his chin before pushing it back.

his hand falls from the handle and settles on his hip as he sighs, looks up, feels a rush of air tinted with spices and the overwhelming noise of the kitchen pierce the coveted silence of his hiding place when the door cracks open. she pokes her head in and he doesn’t look, can’t look, can’t sleep, can’t–

“you good?”

kindness is always startling, even when it’s the standard. her words hold no weight of deep inquiry, only a shallow question mark. it’s enough. he lives on scraps. “yeah, uh, thanks,” his tips his chin in her direction and his eyes flit over the crown of her head. can’t look for long; he’ll search for thank you and love you despite knowing they’re covered.

“i was just, uh, was just, needed to check,” he vaguely motions behind himself, and the knot in his throat tightens slightly, “something, s-so…” maybe she decides to take him out of his misery. maybe he’s the only one that notices he’s drowning.

“family’s up.” she informs him, offers a small smile that he thinks is pity. can’t be sure.

“yeah, yeah, o-okay, i’ll, uh, i’ll, i’ll join you in a,” the hasty spill of his words slows, quiets. he inhales, brows crinkled and eyes focused on the new streaks on the floor he’ll have to clean, “i’ll join you in a minute.”

“i’ll save you a seat.” not a proposition mentioned aimlessly and left to rot in his subconscious, but a statement. and she’ll always save a seat for him, because he’ll always be late, and in the rare occasions that he won’t, he’ll be too early. she’ll save him a seat by the table and pat the couch next to herself when the staff’ll huddle to watch a Bulls game; she’ll save a slot for him on her free day to come into his office and help sort through papers; she’ll save her hand from others so that he could hold it and she’ll save a pair lace panties the color of her eyes that’ll tear through the flower pattern because he’ll be too rough and because he’ll like the way they look on her.

she’ll save a cup that’ll shatter during one of their arguments, glue it back together. the cracks will show, and it’ll be blotched, but he’ll still use it, even if the edge’ll be chipped and he’ll cut his lip and she’ll be long gone by then.

he’s mostly himself when he joins everyone, if he even knows what that entails. tina’s explaining form to marcus, and sydney’s on her phone, and richie and neil are discussing something with too many theatrics, and the rest of the staff shares idle conversation punctuated by comfortable silence. there’s an empty spot for him, food set in a plastic container and cutlery placed trimly – must’ve been her. too even, she’s borderline about these things. he appreciates them, because he’s like that, too.

a smile eases the tension from his shoulders, if a bit. he pulls the chair back, takes a seat, and her head ticks to the side to acknowledge him. no big speech, no welcome back or you good again, just a slight curiosity that makes her teeth pull on her lip. he dares a glance that doesn’t linger.

"verdict?” he asks the table, feeling the familiar flutter of anxiety squeeze his throat.

sydney: ‘s good. real good richie: too fucking fancy [god] this the type of shit they serve up in yee-whole-fucking-new-of-the-fucking-york? her: wouldn’t expect you to recognize shit from food [fuck you] since your mouth is always full of it richie: oh ha ha [cousin] look at us folks [cousin] we got a fucking comedian with us tina: shut it [so/rry] both of you. not by the table richie: not by the fucking table, kid [fuck you] marcus: i like it

it’s kinda funny, it’s kinda familiar, it’s kinda comforting. he glances at her again, sees her holding up her knife like a sword aimed at richie on the other side of the table. they mimic one another – in movement, in tone, in smiles that are careful not to display too much. friends. carmen watched this happen in his peripherals, sometimes through the haze of cigarette smoke. observed the pointed jabs and nudges that were harder each time as if they were competing who could knock the other off of their feet first. stupid, amusing, the nascence of a friendship.

whatever. it’s not that, it’s just, just that carmen’s the way he is and someone could roll their eyes at him and kill and sydney, well, he got along with sydney instantly – she came at a confusing fucking time, a breath of fresh air, and really, for a while, he only had her to help him navigate the clusterfuck of a dynamic of his brother’s staff. she was new, he was new, and it was natural they stuck together to survive the nuclear winter of a chicagoan kitchen. till he was approved as one of them, and she was, too, but, and it’s nothing, it’s dumb, fucking idiotic, it’s like he’s six again all of a sudden and no one wants to play ball with him in the fucking playground.

he’s not even left out, and he still feels like he’s somehow forbidden to join, even if he doesn’t want to, even if he doesn’t know what to say. as if he’d break some sacred law and inspire a drastic butterfly affect that would ripple into something abhorrent. the other shoe. there’s no first one and he’s already waiting for the drop.

“cousin,” richie calls, “cousin, she’s trying to fucking murk me. pretty sure that violates some sorta fine print.”

“better sleep with one eye open in that case.” carmy mumbles, a faint smile pulling on the corner of his lips as he watches the exchange briefly before he returns to the food. melts in his mouth. holds a sweet, syrupy tang, and, fuck, this is noma, this has fucking noma written all over it, even the cinnamon zest blended with orange peel.

no noma on her resume; dad must’ve taught her, then. how to blend and cook all of this shit to make the chicken taste like butter. probably needed to scour the whole kitchen for leftover ingredients, open a few rusted drawers for pipettes to measure lemon drops. stay up again prepping. filming. not sleeping. don’t look.

needlessly complicated and missing some parsley. coincidentally, they ran out of it this morning.

he looks at her because she’s not looking at him and for a moment he takes in her profile – the slope of her nose and the dip leading to her cupid’s bow. “‘s good.” he says after a short pause, and as soon as she turns in his direction he’s back to his food. the taste, this time, is compounded by added discomfort, “where’d you learn this from, anyway? there are recipe?”

“my dad. sorta,” she explains, “he’s also a chef. and he used to make it for me when i came to visit, soooooo, since it was my first time cooking family ‘n all…i thought, why not? y’know? just to upset richie.”

“heard that, kid.”

he snorts, leaning back into his chair, head dipped and container held in hand. glances at her from under his lashes, and maybe direct eye contact is not as scary when he wants her to be looking back. that small smile of his is pulls on his lips again, “‘s good.” he repeats.

“you like it?” her voice can be soft, and so can her features.

“i like it,” he admits, “thank you, chef.”

she smiles and it’s like a fucking firework.

he tries not to look too hard, scared what he might find there. metronome. dull, almost, like the beating of his heart in his chest, yet it pulses through him, from the back of his head all the way to his feet. the tapping.

tell them

he rubs his faces with his hands, leans forward, as if the words are physically trying to get out. doesn’t want to say it; doesn’t want to admit that he can’t dress for the weather and that he’s wearing a gray woolen sweater which blends into these walls, that he blends in, that he’s invisible.

“i’ve, uh,” pinches the bridge of his nose, wanes the upcoming headache – too many cigarettes and not enough sleep, “i’ve been going through somethin’.”

like her pictures on a late monday night fresh out of the shower. the phone light catches damp hair falling in ringlets. the towel is still slung around his shoulders – white, clean, he’s done his laundry, it’s a fucking miracle. it was a notification that distracted him mid-way putting on a t-shirt, was like a beacon in the dark on his bedside table. bare feet padded to grasp it and here he stands, gaping like a fucking idiot with nothing but boxers on and cold water dripping down his back.

wasn’t supposed to look. made a promise, swore it in the mirror staring into clear blue eyes that held nothing. wasn’t his intention, either, it just happened. everything seems to just happen to him. she just seem to text him at 1 in the morning the recipe from a few days back, and he just seems to find her profile again because he just wants to look. no further reason. she just seems to follow him and he just seems to pretend not to notice because he’s not very good at this, he’s not really good at anything.

and there she is, confined in a little electronic device held in his hand, looking at the camera, looking at him, and he’s not really sure what to do with himself. text back, likely, but he can’t think of a response – thank you? thanks? thumbs up emoji? chef emoji? just to mix it up a bit. the mattress dips when he sits on the bed. where the fuck are his cigarettes?

never too far, and the lighter isn’t, either, so he stands, and his phone is still in his hand like the thing is fucking glued to it, and he cracks the window open to let the summer night in. chicago doesn’t sleep, and neither does she, it seems, but he doesn’t, either, and when his teeth have something to bite onto he feels like he found an anchor.

thank you and love you are objectively interesting detonators, but there are other rare gems. where she’s smiling. look taken off-guard and never by her personally, always by someone else: hugging a bottle in the midnight new york vista, nursing a to-go cappuccino by the bodega too early in the morning, holding up a plastic puka shell necklace in the backdrop of a souvenir shop somewhere in yucatan. hugging her mother wearing a tracksuit while the former’s poised in a neat blazer. they look similar. carmen looks like his mother, too.

she’s more approachable when her eyes crinkle and cheeks apple and lips stretch to reveal a crescent line in the corner. pretty. real pretty. too pretty. maybe that’s why he doesn’t know what to say. maybe she doesn’t expect him to say anything. maybe that’s why she sent the message.

‘s not fair. he knows too much about her. knows her dad’s a renowned chef and her mother’s a business exec with a penthouse in brooklyn; knows she gets her tattoos in-house, on the couch, from some low-key junkie-looking artist that always wears a beanie; knows she worked in an upscale restaurant in wallstreet. chef whites, neat, trimmed, fitting – nothing he can offer in his fucked joint. fuck is she doing in chicago, anyway? spent last summer backpacking across europe with a distinctly new york-looking art school dropouts that wore the latest sneakers and tiffany necklaces. rich kids, rich kid, what she gets now was likely her daily allowance.

all of that just because he’s noisy. just because he’s curious. just because she’s pretty and he’s too scared to actually talk to her.

shouldn’t talk to her about anything anyway. too awkward – can hardly form a coherent sentence without ripping his hair out in the first place. he’s her boss, she’d think he’s a fucking weirdo if she knew how much he had gathered about her already. just from looking. does sydney know? does richie know? that would be fucked. oddly insulting, even. but since carmen hasn’t heard richie calling her a spoiled brat yet, he supposes it’s safe to assume this information hasn’t reached him yet.

parasocial as shit. he feels on the verge of a panic attack by the way his heart is hammering in his chest. maybe it’s the 5th cigarette. maybe it’s because he’s been sleep deprived. maybe it’s because looking at her makes him lonely and this is fucked and just put the fucking phone down, carmen.

she's really hot, though. but he can’t say so, not out loud. not right now. not here. not in front of the bed, where the mattress sags when he sits, or in the window, where the wind rattles the glass ringing of common sense.

‘thanks for the recipe’ is a good start, ‘cool tats by the way’ is definitely a line that has crossed his mind, but can’t text that, either. too personal. too easy. too close. fuck did he look at them anyway, too busy staring at her tits. fuck.

she’d think he’s a creep because somehow, in the divine comedy of his life, he’d let it slip somehow, because he’s stupid. because thank you and love you slap at him on odd hours during the day. because he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

feels like he’s a teen again and a girl from school sent him her homework to copy. only the girl in a hot rich kid from nyc that works in his restaurant and is so far out of his league that she’s in a different fucking orbit.

the mattress dips again. he closes his eyes, exhales slowly, rubs his face with his free hand. can’t stop thinking. can’t stop looking. staring. wanting. get a fucking hold of yourself. doesn’t want to. too tired. too fucked. too alone.

she’s so pretty.

so smart.

so fucking pretty.

what is he doing? what the fuck is he doing?

he tries to swallow, but it feels like there's sand in his throat. can't think straight, every corner leads to her anyway in a comical gotcha moment. can't go back. can't go forward. can't do anything but sit here, stare at the phone, think the last threads of his fizzling mind will conceive a reply.

say something. say something.

she's so fucking pretty and his dick is so fucking hard.

inhales again, this time slowly. feels the first tremors of an erection ignored, the pulse in his neck, in his wrists.

his heart is pounding and he wants her to look at him, wants to look at her, wants to feel her touch him, wants to show her how much he wants her.

"fucking christ," he can hear the breathless crack in his voice. feel it, taste it.

his face burns and his hair falls over his forehead, already drying. there's sweat on his brow and a lump in his throat from the steady rise of panic, anticipation, desperation, whateverthefuck. the blood in his veins pounds through his chest – he can feel the vibration in his bones, and god, god god god, he’s so fucking horny.

can't move. can't breathe. can't think. can't stand being alone. can't stand the silence. can't stand not doing anything and can’t stand being like this because he’s not supposed to. not allowed, breach of contract, jesus, who does this shit in their spare time? a lot of people, probably, but carmen wouldn’t know.

"fuck."

he wants to close his eyes because she’s so cold on the screen but so warm in his mind. can’t do that. can't stop palming dick over his boxers, either – wants to pull them down, but that would mean looking at himself, so he stares at her picture instead.

he feels like a teenager again, vaguely wants to throw up. can't believe how hard he is. he's not supposed to be like this. this isn't going to end well.

he knows he's gonna fuck this up because he's already fucking it up. can't stop staring at her. can't stop touching himself. can't stop thinking about what she'd do if she knew he was sitting here ready to jerk off to her.

she'd probably freak the fuck out, and she'd have every right to. that doesn't stop that wandering hand of his from dipping below the elastic band anyway.

his breath scratches at his throat, stuck there as he feels his hand brush something warm. glances down, sees his middle finger pressing against the swollen tip. looks back at the phone, sees her smile, the hint of her teeth; his cock twitches at the sight of her like some deranged pavlovian response. his fingers curl around his shaft and go down in a nice, long stroke.

"fuck me," he hisses. eyes squeeze shut and hips push forward and head rolls back to release a small groan.

it's a slow slide of a rough palm, with just enough pressure to cause shivers. he thinks of her lips wrapped around his him. the way her tongue would tease him. the way her hair would tickle his thighs.

"so pretty," he breathes, but the words are lost in the rhythm of his hand, "fuck, sorry."

fingers and palm slide over the sensitive head, each pass adding more pressure until his hips buck and it feels like someone punched him in the gut and he sucks in a breath, the sound coming out more like a moan; squeeze, tighter this time, and he groans louder, caught somewhere between pain and pleasure. teeth clamp down on his lower lip and all the oxygen in his lungs leaves with that.

the hand with the hand pierced by a kitchen knife pumps faster, coating the creases and veins in warm, sticky pre-cum leaking from the tip and leaving a stain on his boxers. he's breathing heavily, chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm that matches the throbbing of his cock.

he's so close already. so close he feels like he might actually lose his mind if he doesn't come soon.

"hm, fuck," he breathes out, eyes squeezing shut and fist tightening around the shaft as his hips jerk forward to meet the movement.

everything is swimming and spinning in the liquid dark around him, all the sensations coiled up into one chaotic bundle that's threatening to overwhelm him.

"yes," can't be his voice, can it? too raw, too desperate, too loud.

fist tightens even more and the throbbing is too much. feels like something is trying to get out of his body, like it's going to burst through his skin.

"oh fuck. oh fuck, oh fuck—"

everything is happening at once. everything is mounting to a small cry of her name.

he comes. coughs and huffs, head tipping back and hand still pumping. there's a low groan coming from his chest that sounds like it originated from some other person entirely.

then, it stills. his back hits the bed and he tries to gulp down air that stutters down his throat, the phone bouncing on the mattress beside him. the motions ripple in his spine, in tensed muscles that’ve gone lax. calm. outside the window, a siren howls first, then a dog.

he’s spent. feels good. cold air bites skin coated in sweat, like ice melting in the bed of a warm palm. “fuck.”

but the reality of the situation rips through the haze just as quick, and ignited by a sudden fucking unbearable anger, he grabs his phone and throws it across the room, “FUCK.”

ch.4: normal people

tags <3 @rexorangecouny - @astridyoo15 - @elliesbabygirl - @fortisfilia - @diorrfairy - @frequentnosebleeder - @eddiemunsonreader

more notes: sum fun lil gemmie gems for my narrative lovin girlies in chat 1. timeline is worky asf, things flowing in an out perception - imagine it like moving frames of the show 2. carmy says “’s good” whilst he admires her silently - is he referring to her or the food? 3. who text their boss at 1am? rich kid explain 4. the swearing increases the more he’s distressed 5. major virgin alert, can u tell? 6. this is the only chapter so far where ive used caps lock

#the bear #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen x reader #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto smut #carmy x reader #the bear imagine #imagine #imagines #reader #xreader #we need the extended version directors cut live commentary with bloopers for the second half of this fic

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thelovelylolly · 9 months

Note

Hi first of all i hope youre doing okay, wel best as you can be and i give you my condoleance 💗 please take care of yourself and don't feel obligated to anything.

Tw: school shooting

I was wondering (for when you maybe feel like writing again) You could write Frank Castle x teen reader where she's maybe like his daughter figure (like amy) and he's out doing vigilante shit while she's in school and gets a text from her saying just " i love you" but there is a school shooting and she's shot and just full on panic for context i was in a school shooting a year or two back and got shot luckly the police and ambulance came shortly after but i just wish i had someone like Frank to calm me down or come save me 😅💗

If you dont wanna write this or feel comfortable because of this request my apologies im so sorry just ignore it if that s the case.

I hope you have a great day and thanks for reading anyway.

I've Got You

Summary : During a vigilante job, Frank gets a text from you and he knows something's wrong. He soon finds out what happened and was there for you. Warnings : *please dont read this if any of this makes you uncomfortable, do whats best for you and your mental health!!* mentions of a shooting, injuries, and death. heavy angst, hurt/comfort, fem reader (daughter figure) Notes : thank you for your kind words love <3 im so sorry youve had to go through something like that, no one deserves to go through that, but im happy youre here :) thank you for your request and i hope i did your idea justice <3

'I love you.'

Frank never knew three words from a text could scare him so much. The three words he had said to you when he came to terms with you becoming a daughter to him. The three words you two rarely had to say to each other since you showed your love for each other in different ways.

The three words you said on a whim before going to school that morning, because it felt right and you had a gut feeling to say it.

But now, Frank was terrified. You usually sent texts with all lowercase letter, with little to no punctuation, with acronyms and sayings that he didn't get.

He was in the middle of a stake out when his phone pinged. He quickly ditched his job and hopped in his truck, speeding towards your school and trying to text you at the same time.

'What's going on?'

'Text me back'

'Call me'

'Do something to let me know you're okay'

His stopped texting after a minute and tuned his radio to the police's frequency, a trick he needed for his jobs.

"Shots fired at the high school, two squads already on the scene-"

Shots fired.

Those two words echoed through Frank's mind, drowning out whatever the dispatcher was saying. He had heard those words millions of times between his marine years and his vigilante time, but this time was different. You were in danger and Frank wasn't there with you, ready to put himself between you and whatever threatened you.

Frank was still blocks away when he heard the dispatcher say, "students are starting to be escorted out, threat is cornered in the gym."

Frank took a deep breath. You could be outside already, waiting for him. He could see you clinging to your friends, all of you relieved to be alive. He could see you talking to whatever authority figure would talk to you, asking them if everyone was okay and who was still inside. You were very compassionate, ready to put yourself in danger to help others.

Something you picked up from Frank.

Minutes later, Frank pulled up to your school. He saw ambulances and many cop cars parked in front and around the sides. He usually would stay away from the cops, but he didn't care. He needed to see you alive and safe.

He parked his truck and quickly got out, jogging over to the crowd of crying students, teachers and parents. He scanned the crowd for you, but he didn't spot you. What if you weren't out yet? Were you still stuck inside? Were you hurt and couldn't get out?

What if he was too late?

"Can I borrow your phone to call my dad? I just want him to know I'm okay."

He heard your voice and spun around, his eyes immediately locking onto you. You were sitting in the back of an ambulance, talking to the first responder inside with you. You were holding your side and your leg was bouncing up and down quickly, a nervous habit of yours.

Frank called out your name and started towards you. You looked over at him and quickly got out of the ambulance, wincing slightly when you hit the ground. You jogged over to Frank, letting yourself break the dam of tears you had been holding back.

The moment Frank's arms wrapped around you, holding you as close as possible, you let a sob rack your body. You were too tired to hug him back, letting yourself sob in his arms. He started to rub soothing circles on your back, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.

"Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. I've got you, I'm here."

His words made you cry more and wrap your arms around him, holding him tight to make sure he's real.

You were terrified and had no idea if you were going to see him again. You texted him 'I love you' to make sure he knew just in case, then you shut it off so it wouldn't light up or make noise. You then dropped your phone as you were running out of the building.

Frank pulled away from you, looking at you and wiping your tears away.

"I thought I lost you, kid. I-I thought you were still inside," he said, choking up a bit. He glanced down to your side, seeing the bandages wrapped around your stomach. "What happened?

You followed his gaze down, sniveling a bit as you took a deep breath. "I g-got hit, but th-they said it wasn't bad. I g-guess I got lucky."

Frank wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to kiss your forehead.

"I love you," you murmured.

"I love you, too, kid," he replied, leading you to his truck.

#frank castle x reader #frank castle x you #platonic frank castle x reader #platonic frank castle x you #frank castle fanfic #frank castle angst #frank castle fanfiction #the punisher x reader #the punisher x you #the punisher fanfiction

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gildeddlily · 1 year

Text

yk what I really hate? people defining soukoku's relationship as toxic and headcanon chuuya as a violent person who physically assaults and abuses Dazai cause he "makes him mad", or Dazai as the one who constantly manipulates him into doing what he needs.

like who ever told you this? first of all, no. second of all, no. They have the strangest relationship I've ever seen, but it's something beautiful built with trust from both parts so how can you call that toxic to this point?

we've never saw Chuuya physically hurting Dazai in both manga and light novels, at least not seriously (the basement scene doesn't mean anything, they didn't see each other for like four years and chuuya's a fricking mafia executive no shit he's gonna beat up the mafia traitor. but seriously, after seeing him fight for real you think that was violence?). Do I think that at least once Dazai got beat up? yes, cause Dazai is constantly getting on Chuuya's nerves. the nerves of a dysfunctional teenager, that works for the mafia, that has a partner who tries to kill himself every two days, that is emotionally constipated and never learned how to love and be loved (the sheep betrayed him, the Flags died, Dazai is Dazai) so yeah, I don't think he knows how to express his feelings (he was all "I'm gonna act like I don't love you but in reality I love you a lot" with the flags at sixteen, what do you pretend from him if he's interacting with Dazai?) but not to the point of beating up Dazai every time they fight.

Dazai is ever worse: he's traumatized as fuck too, and is always going with the "I'm not human" bullshit (shut up sometimes he's so human he makes me cry) that most times prevents him from enjoying practically anything. Chuuya is not someone he know how to act with, but he spends three years with him so he fricking learned how, alr? They know eachother better than everyone, to the point that Chuu is able to understand Dazai's "misterious as fuck no one can understand me why people call akutagawa emo when im here" plans and attitude. They trust each other to the point of constantly putting each other lives in the other's hands.

Dazai manipulates everyone, yeah, but not like Fyodor does. Stop treating his efforts to respect Oda's last wish like nothing and only seeing him as the man he was in the mafia. Bungou Stray Dogs is so beautiful because it's realistic in portraying human's life and emotions, so stop trying to make Dazai act and seen as the mean demon who hates everyone except odasaku. his "chess pieces" are used and directed in a gentle way, just see Atsushi and the relationship he has with him, or the ADA. (the drowning thing. there was world's peace at steak, you think he should have chose saving Chuuya instead of everyone else? And that he really didn't think ab Chuuya saving Fyodor with his ability? I'm sure he knew, purely for the "what a shallow bond" thing. Asagiri spent the last years making us understand the deep bond they share, only to make it really shallow after one hundred chapters?)

Chuuya knows Dazai, he knows the way he choose to act, how his mind works and how he plans the future, Asagiri said that himself, so it actually is canon. He truly knows him (best and worst part of him, and we're talking ab mafia!dazai) and still trusts him with his life, knows Dazai always hides something up his sleeve and's always "i trusted you with this *random insults*" after almost dying for Dazai.

They just voluntarily ignore their connection, but they're both aware of it, just see how Chuuya in Dead Apple is sure that Dazai has something in mind that involves him using Corruption (risking his life) and punching him in the face, or how Dazai is sure that Chuuya will use Corruption risking his life and punch him. (the soft way he punched him while using Corruption really is... strange. he was throwing buildings around and then punch Dazai like he wasn't even using his ability? there wasn't any real strength behind it, at least not the corrupted one. so yeah we also have corrupted!Chuuya loving Dazai like the normal one) (I'm chewing a gum (my throat is hurting sthu) and I feel like the woman from that asmr meme that types on a pc) so yeah the point is. people can write or create media ab everything they want, but going around talking ab how they'd be a toxic couple cause they're abusive and bad for eachother is bullshit, especially if they're talking ab 22!Soukoku that has the potential to be endgame. teen!Soukoku could be toxic, yes, cause it's always disfuncional teenagers we're talking ab, they wouldn't even know ab how to be a good couple, but they'd manage, and still do more good for each other than bad. (this is all to say that I cry when while searching for good skk ff I find that type of ff that antagonize one of them by portraying them as abusive (like taking out of the context Chuuya calling sixteen Dazai inhuman after he said that the death of a man that Chuuya respected was a luck for them- no shit he was angry(still could have not said that)) and the other as an innocent kid that doesn't know better)

we stan the "the other was the only really good thing in their life for a long time" trope

#random skk thoughts #bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #bsd analysis #kinda #dead apple #was a rollercoaster #gay thoughts #port mafia

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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 1 year

Text

when one leaves, another arrives

pairing: neteyam x female omatikaya!reader, lo’ak x female omatikaya!reader

WC: 11.8K (she’s a big one)

warnings: cursing, mentions of blood, r being emotionally messed up, lo’ak and r share a moment. should be it!

summary: when you lose someone close to you, you close yourself off from everyone else. except for one person.

A/N: i wrote this when i haven’t even seen the movie, only edits and clips on tt, so forgive me (i have now seen the movie by the time i’ve posted the fic). ITS FANFICTION LET ME WRITE WHAT I PLEASE!!! also neteyam and lo’ak are probably a bit ooc, but you know we only saw hints of their character in this movie, IM TAKING CREATIVE LIBERTY. also pretty much movie ages for our characters, r is same age as neteyam.

thank you to my lovely friend @alecmores for being my proof reader as always and leaving funny comments for me to giggle about. also if any na’vi is misspelled blame pandora wikifandom and the online na’vi dictionary.

reblogs are appropriated💗

been sitting in the drafts since feb25

masterlist

Numb

That’s all you felt, your whole body numb to the touch. Felt like you were floating, skin no longer touching the ground, only the stiff breeze that would ghost through you. You weren’t even sure if you were breathing at this moment.

Eclipse

It taunted you as your eyes stared at the heavens above. Cold, wet tears streamed down your dull blue cheeks, while another dull blue face stared lifelessly at the darkened sky. Lifeless eyes that used to hold so much love and admiration within his glowing golden eyes.

Shaking

Your body was shaking, hands unable to stop the tremors that reached your fingertips. Lips quivering as you tried to hold back the scream that wanted to rip from your throat, the whimpers of pain that built up in your chest, and were just waiting for the scale to completely tip before you crumble.

The waves were crashing loudly against your boulder, it almost felt like they were shaking your rocky asylum. There were only four bodies stationed on the jagged stone along with a burning fire in the near distance. Everything felt like a realistic nightmare, something your mind conjured to tear you away from the sugary sweet dreams that you would slip into. But this wasn’t a nightmare or dream, this was reality. Something you constantly had to remind yourself before your brain could trick you into ignorance.

There was a ringing in your downturned ears that soon started to pick up choked sobs that flicked your ears at attention. You looked away from the darkened sky and down at your three companions.

Neteyam. Once alive and full of energy, gentle touches, and commanding tones were all left behind and just a corpse with his head laying on your lap was left behind. One hand cradled his cheek, wishing to feel movement or heat while the other brushed his braids, something you always did when he rested his head on your lap. You wished to see his easy smile one more time, just for a moment, you needed the image fresh in your brain.

Tsireya was the one quietly crying, her hands holding onto Neteyam’s legs. You wanted to comfort the girl, this is probably the first time she’s had to feel the pain of losing a close relationship, the Metkayina clan not forced to see the horror of war every day for the past few years. She was a sweet girl, a caring soul, she didn’t deserve to witness this pain.

Lo’ak was the last one of your group. He was staring toward the burning and drowning ship, you weren’t sure why, but taking note that Jake and Neytiri were missing, along with Spider, Kiri, and Tuk not around; the only answer you could think of was the ship. He dropped to his knees, eyes staring down at his dark red palms, palms covered in Neteyam’s blood as he tried to save him. He took another look at the ship before facing you and Tsireya.

“I- I have to- I have to help them.” Lo’ak took stuttering breaths.

You saw Tsireya shake her head, barely heard the pleas for Lo’ak to stay on the rock with the thre- with the two of you. But you knew Lo’ak, you knew that even if his dad told him to stay, he would follow him to the ends of Pandora, just like Neteyam did with him.

He knelt in front of the shaking girl, a hand coming up to hold her cheek for a second before he walked to you. Both hands rested at the side of your head, his fingers seeping into your braids with his extra finger touching your jaw.

“I’ll be back. I promise.” Neteyam used to tell you that all the time when he was allowed a position in the raids.

Lo’ak pulled your head forward and his lips met your forehead, and they were held there for almost a minute before he pulled away and jumped off the rock and into the crashing waves. Leaving behind two shaking and emotionally wrecked girls that held onto a corpse of a friend and loved one.

“He’ll be back,” you choked out to Tsireya, “they’ll all be back.” Reassuring the both of you, needing just that tiny bit of hope to stay above the dangerous waves. Your hand continued its comforting motion of pushing Neteyam’s braids from his face.

Pandora forest

Your feet jumped from branch to branch, the ground below leaving behind a trail of bioluminescent spots before they disappeared. Light chuckles floated from your parted lips and into the open air, the breeze able to carry the sound further out. The nightlife of the forest filled your ears, something you’ll never get used to, in a good way.

You slowed down after having ran and leaped for a while, needing a minute to take in your surroundings. Your chest moved up and down pretty fast with your mouth panting for air, and fists landing on your hips to rest. Your ears flicked at each little noise, but you were trying to find the specific sound you wanted to hear, nose twitching in the air for the right scent combo.

A twig snapped and you knew already you found him. You crouched down, body low to the bark as you followed the direction the noise came from, not wanting to spook your target. You jumped to a branch below yours and surveyed the surrounding flora. You grabbed your bow and nocked an arrow in the string and waited with bated breath for any new signs. Another twig snapped, the opposite direction you just came from, you were on high alert now.

You counted in your head, to keep your heart steady and to count when the next noise might occur. It wasn’t until twenty did another sound appear, this one much closer now. You thought you were ahead in the game but looked like you just lost so you put away your arrow and sat on the soft moss, waiting for the boy.

Lost in your thoughts, staring ahead into the open air, the feeling of two hands landing on your shoulders almost made you jump and that would end up resulting in your possible death due to gravity.

“I win.” A high-pitched voice spoke into your ear.

“Neteyam!” You twisted to look at his boyish grin, “don’t sneak up on me! I’ve told you multiple times!”

He just laughed at your raised voice and moved to sit beside you, thighs touching and fingers just an inch away from touching. You wanted to make a move but were too scared so you stayed content with your slim fingers ghosting near the other.

It was well past the eclipse and both you and Neteyam knew you shouldn’t be running around in the forest at night, but it was always so peaceful and sometimes the only time either of you could be alone together without parents or siblings hovering or clan duties getting in the way.

The two of you could just get lost in nature and each other and it was the most magical thing you got to experience.

“Are you excited for tomorrow?” You voiced to the silence.

It took a minute before he responded, “nervous, but yes. I’m excited.” His pinky tapped yours.

Tomorrow a couple of young hunters would complete their iknimaya and finally earn their ikrans and then later that night they would go through uniltaron, the dream hunt. You originally were going to join Neteyam in the rites of passage, but you felt you weren’t prepared enough, so you decided to wait a bit longer. At first, you were embarrassed to tell Neteyam that you were going to take longer, but he reassured you that it was completely fine and that he was proud of you with either decision you made. It made your heart grow with love.

“Should probably head back. Long day ahead of you.” You stood from your seated position and threw your bow over your shoulders, waiting for Neteyam to follow your actions.

You looked down when you noticed he was still seated and to your shock he was already looking up at you, an easy smile adoring his stunning features. He did look like his mother, a stunning woman with a strong will and a loyal heart.

“What?” You whispered the question.

He gave a light shake of his head, his smile never fading, “nothing. Just… just appreciating.” And he grabbed his bow and stood up, eyes level with each other. Both standing at around six feet and a few inches, neither hitting your growth spurt yet. You don’t know how you’ll feel when Neteyam is taller than you one day, even if it's just by an inch or two.

The two of you stood face to face, no one talking, only watching. Eyes danced over the other's features, memorizing every stripe and every glowing dot gracing their blue skin. If you could freeze time, you would do it at this moment, not wanting to leave the quiet night. You so badly wanted to reach up and caress Neteyam’s cheek but held yourself.

Instead, you cleared your throat and broke eye contact, “race you home?” And the smile he flashed gave you your answer and you took off without a warning.

Giggles and shrieks of joy followed you two home all the way, music to your ears.

You were still numb, your ears were still ringing, and your stomach grumbled but you wouldn’t touch a single fruit. It still didn’t feel real, none of this felt real. The battle was over, the injured were being tended to, and families were reuniting with tears and hugs. But your family, your family was grieving and preparing for a funeral that none of you thought would come for many moons in the future.

You just sit in a corner with your knees pulled up to your chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, your head resting atop the joints, staring into the void. You haven’t moved from the tiny spot since you all came back to your pod, Jake and Neytiri leaving with Neteyam’s body to bring to Ronal and have him prepared for his final living goodbye. Kiri and Tuk were huddled together in another area of the pod, Tuk sitting in her lap with Kiri stroking her hair and whispering soft words. Lo’ak sat outside with his feet in the water. He probably wished Tsireya was with him but she was pulled away by her family to help with preparations. You wanted to be there for him, someone needed to be there for him, he thought Neteyam’s death was his doing when it wasn’t; it was the sky people’s war that did it.

You finally found that bit of strength to move, Lo’ak needed someone at this moment and you knew Neteyam would want his brother to know that he loved him. With cracked joints you finally moved from your spot, arms wrapped around your waist for a phantom comfort and you walked slowly towards Lo’aks’ hunched figure. Your feet stop just a few steps away from him, just watching how his back muscles moved with his breathing, how his head would move slightly when he would focus on something else.

You didn’t say anything as you sat next to him. He didn’t say anything as his eyes took notice of your appearance. No one said anything, just two sets of golden eyes staring out at the dimming sky that was slowly dipping into the endless ocean.

You took the first step, one arm reaching out to gently touch the bicep close to you and then you slowly glided the hand down his arm until your palm fell atop his knuckles. Your four fingers settled in the open space between his five digits, a light squeeze was all you gave, but still no words.

“I’m sor-“ “It’s not your fault. None of it.” You immediately stopped him.

Silence once again.

Hands still touching.

Waves playfully pushing and pulling.

You leaned your head against his shoulder, Lo’aks falling atop yours after a second. Then you moved your hand off his and threw it around his waist with your other following, wanting to give him warm physical comfort. Knowing a hug was something he needed at this moment, to feel grounded, to feel loved, to feel seen.

An abrupt cough makes your head turn over your shoulders. Jake and Neytiri stood in the opening, both their faces littered with cuts and stitches, eyes darker and dull. You pulled away from Lo’ak and stood from your spot, walking over to the two taller na’vi.

“We must prepare.” Was all Neytiri said before holding her hand out.

High camp

The air was thick with tension, everyone on high alert for the day, no, not just the day. Everyone has been on alert for the past two years.

The sky people have brought war back to Pandora, back to the Omitikaya people and your home. The demons bring fire to burn the trees and flora, to bring extinction to the animals that roam freely. Their metal weapons are much stronger than your bows, and many people die or are injured each day during a raid or battle.

Jake Sully is very high-strung, he’s quick to snap at someone out of line, and even more angered when the people he’s yelling at are his children. Neteyam and Lo’ak stand with their tails between their legs and heads tilted down, Neteyam receiving the harsher words that struck his heart.

You would watch from afar, hands rubbing your banshee in comforting motions as your heart broke at the pain written across their faces. You just waited, waited until Neteyam was dismissed by his father and he would head immediately to find you and distract you with his pretty smile.

“How is palï?” His own hands stroked down the side of her neck, soft purrs heard from her throat. You chuckled, “happy now that you are here.” Just like you were happier he was now with you.

Your smile dropped just a bit when you remembered a few minutes ago, “is everything…is everything okay?” His hand slowed then stopped before dropping to his side, eyes facing away from you.

“Just Lo’ak doing dumb shit again and me getting my head ripped off for not keeping a close eye on him.” “Hmm.”

Men and Women were moving to and fro in the caved holding. Some were slow with their heads bent down as they conversed with the person beside them, or warriors carried their bows with their heads held high as they rushed past everyone. People were going in and out of Mo’at’s tent, many exiting with wrappings covering wounds they gained during the war effort. You could hear the faint sounds of ikrans screeching in the distance mixed with the gleeful giggles of na’vi children.

“Would you like to go somewhere quiet?” You abruptly asked.

Neteyam’s ears twitched at your question, eyes widening just a bit but then softening with a tiny curve of his lips. A meek nod was all you needed before you wrapped a hand around his wrist and pulled him behind you and further into the cool mountain. It was a small area further back, the shadows helping in keeping the carved-out piece a secret to one who isn’t curious, but you were one curious cat.

Since your parent's passing, you would travel through high camp in silence, a ghost among the living just trying to survive by yourself. You lived with the Sully’s since they were like a second family to you, but being around them, seeing the love they have for each other and how much they care about everyone’s well-being, it just twisted your heart. So at night when everyone was asleep and the camp was quiet, you would sneak out and roam around, just needing to be alone and wallow in pain and you needed to find a place within the camp where you could step into the shadows and disappear just for a few hours. And you found it.

With Neteyam still being pulled behind by you when you abruptly stopped, his chest ran into your back making the both of you stumble for a moment. Light giggles escaped without thought before you reluctantly let your grip slide from his skin, but you didn’t get far before Neteyam reached out on his own and intertwined your hands together.

You felt warm all over at the simple action.

“Ma ‘teyam, I’ve- I’ve been missing you. As of late.” You dipped your head down, flustered at the sudden words leaving your mouth. It wasn’t a declaration of love, though it was in your ears.

“I’ve been missing you too, ma tanhì (my star)” Almost a whisper to the winds was his reply, but a whisper that blew near your ear making it twitch at the caressing touch.

Involuntarily your eyelids fluttered closed and a breathy sigh left your chest. The silence only grew in tension when a finger was hooked under your chin and pushed your face up, eyes focusing in on the speckles of glowing dots dancing along Neteyam’s face and body. Your own personal sky of stars to gaze upon.

“(Y/n), there’s something I’ve been wanting to confess to you for some time now. But it seems you gave me the perfect opportunity, and I will try to say the words before they evade my mind.” His thumb swiped over your chin, along with a swift feeling of him touching your bottom lip before it was gone too soon. All you could do was tilt your head with your eyes firmly set on Neteyam’s, waiting intently to hear what’s been on his mind for this long.

He licked his lips, eyes moving side to side, “as you know it’s been a while since I’ve become one of the People.” Another simple nodding of your head, “I as well.”

“Yes. And we both have fashioned our bows out the branches of the home tree, both of us mighty warriors and aiding our clan in a time of crisis-” “Neteyam I’m well aware of these events. I’m living through them, along with them added to my songcord.” A mindless giggle showed your delight in this scene.

Neteyam gave a huff, “yes, yes. Now if you’ll allow me to speak before I lose my small ounce of bravery-” “Yes, sorry. Continue… sorry.”

A hand still twinged with yours and his thumb ran over the back of your hand, “Since we’ve become one of the People, and crafted our bows, the only thing left is to… is to find a mate.” You sucked in a breath.

He wanted to find a mate.

You understood, courting could take months and usually you’re not officially mated before Eywa until you are a full-fledged adult, so there was still plenty of time for the both of you. But hearing that he’s thinking of someone who he wants to court, hurts like a knife being twisted between your ribs.

“Have… have you,” you had to swallow past the thump in your throat, “have you already chosen. The one you wish to begin courting?” You needed to step away from Neteyam’s intoxicating self.

You tried stepping away discreetly, but before you were even two steps away Neteyam pulled you right back in, even closer than before. Toe to toe, chest to chest, your whole body so close to touching but only an inch of air separated your bodies from molding together. The hold he had on your hand didn’t loosen, only held tighter, like he was scared you could run away at any moment. During this discussion, you wished to vanish into the forest and not come back until sunrise.

“I have. I’ve had my eye on her for years, long before my rites of passage. She’s very special to me, someone who’s been by my side through many of my hardships, lifting me back up to the light from the darkness I was walking towards.” His eyes stayed on your linked hand, “she is beloved by my family, each one of them having a special relationship with her already, so I don’t have to worry about them turning her away,” he breathed a laugh. “She is a fine warrior, her skills growing each day, and might even surpass my sa’nok (mother) one day.”

Neteyam took the final step. Hands squished between your bodies, your chest touching, and every breath you took caused your top to brush against Neteyam’s chest and move it out of place just a hair. Your breaths mingled with your lips in front of each other, it took every last bit of strength within you to keep your eyes trained on his face rather than his tempting lips.

“Neteyam-” “I hope you are understanding what I’m trying to say.”

Your will broke and your eyes dropped before meeting his eyes again, “I think it best if you say it aloud. I’m a bit thick in the head.” A comment Neteyam has made to you before.

He wetted his lips, “(Y/n), ma tanhì (my star), would you allow me the honor of courting you, to eventually in the near future, become my mate for life?” He almost vibrated with energy, nervousness or anticipation, or even both was your conclusion.

“Neteyam, ma atan (my light), I would cherish nothing more and it would be a pleasure to become your mate.”

The air felt still, thick that you almost suffocated from a simple intake of air. The water felt still, even though you rode on the back of your ilu, ripples following the creature. It felt like everyone was holding their breath, worried that even the most simple release of air would cause something further to shift in the world. But nothing worse could happen, not in your mind, your worst nightmare came true and you still can’t process it.

Jake and Neytiri were at the front of your group with Tuk seated behind her mother, Lo’ak and Kiri with Spider behind followed up the rear and you were at the very back. Everyone was painted with white stripes down their face, Neytiri fashioned with a woven headpiece and the necklace Neteyam wore when he died. A hand went to your neck, another intricate woven piece of jewelry that Neteyam would wear, it also happened to be the one he wore the night he asked to court you.

The tears dripped down your face, you didn’t make an effort to wipe them away, they would just keep coming.

Many of the Metkayina stood in the shallow waters of the Cove of Ancestors, further away from your family. You saw the familiar faces near the front, the Olo’eyktan and the Tsahík, both of them stood tall and held themselves high. You saw the tear-stained faces of Tsireya and Ao’nung along with Roxo just off to the side of the leaders.

The ilu tugging Neteyam’s leaf finally stopped at its designated spot, silently telling all of you that this was the end. Jake, Neytiri, Tuk, and Lo’ak slid off their creatures and into the water, treading themselves on each side of his body, his mother and sister on the left with his father and brother to the right. You so badly wanted to join them, wanted to touch the boy you loved so badly one final time before his body was taken away from the physical plane. But you stayed back, you weren’t his mate, you were just the girl he was courting, his girlfriend- something that Jake said was between the stages of friend and mate; you were just a friend that left their home behind for a boy that stole your heart and made you a part of a loving and protective family.

So it was just you, Kiri- who you thought should have joined the others but didn’t push her into it, and Spider who watched his blood-related family give their final caresses to his skin. The kisses to his forehead by Neytiri, the fingers reaching out to his for the hand that rested atop his shoulder then a feather-light touch to his cheek by Tuk, the hand that patted down Neteyam’s tied back braids by Lo’ak- something Neteyam used to always do on the younger boy, and Jake. Jake, who still seemed in shock, that he didn’t make for a comforting gesture.

Once Neteyam was free of the giant palm leaf, Tuk and Lo’ak moved further back to where the three of you stayed. Jake and Neytiri shared a look before taking their breath and diving under the water with Neteyam between them.

You slid off the ilu saddle and floated on the right side of Lo’ak, Tuk as always was beside Kiri if it wasn’t her mother. With the water stinging your eyes just a bit, you watched as Jake and Neytiri swam down, down, down until they were just above the glowing anemone and they released their hold on their boy. They kept themselves afloat while his body succumbed to gravity or the pull toward the Great Mother, and once they touched his deep blue skin, he was covered in golden glowing light before his body was completely gone.

If you weren’t submerged under water you knew the tears would be running at the speed of a waterfall, your nose clogging with snot, and your throat choking up causing hiccups and stuttering to your breath. With a glance to your left, the sight before you broke you even further. Lo’ak, with his left hand, held out for his brother to take, was choking out sobs that were silenced by the water, only the air bubbles leaving his open mouth told you of his cries to the Great Mother.

Swiftly you reached out and linked your hands together, he needed someone to ground him from slipping away and you just needed to feel living flesh.

You couldn’t sleep, sleep had been avoiding you for weeks since your arrival to Awa'atlu, always tossing and turning on your mat. Eventually, you started to leave the mauri when the darkness would slip away through your fingers, finding yourself either sitting on the roped walkway with your feet swaying in the water or you would venture towards the sandy beaches and stare out into the open water.

You weren’t sure when he noticed your absence, but one night when you walked to the beach, you heard footsteps that were muffled by the grains on the floor and the push and pull of the water. Your heart rate picked up, you didn’t have any weapons on your person, and you chose to leave your knife with the others. But your panic died down when you saw the noise coming from someone who wouldn’t lay a harmful finger on you, but for sure would punch someone just looking at you wrong.

“Ma ‘teyam.” You all but sighed as he got closer.

He instantly pulled you into his arms, one arm around your waist and the other pushing your head into the crook of his neck. Your limbs wrapping tightly along his waist, your hearts beating as one, chest to chest. Fingers started to run through the free strands of your black hair, tiny circles by the pads of his digits.

“What is wrong ma tanhì?” He murmured by your pinned back ear.

You huffed a sigh, unintentionally tickling his skin, “sleep escapes me. No dreams enter my mind, only darkness and even that leaves me to my thoughts.”

He hummed, hands continuing their rhythmic motions, giving your bodies a light sway with the wind. Then he just stopped, hands landing on your biceps giving a light push away. His eyes held so much love within his tender gaze, “why don’t we go for a swim? We could star gaze, we haven't done it for a while.” And an instant smile split your face.

The two of you floated on your backs in the middle of the water, the water safe within the mauri pods. The quiet night was the only thing surrounding the both of you, the water was still with only a few ripples here and there causing a push to your bodies. Your backs floated atop the darkened water, hands clasped together to keep from drifting apart, braids and loose strands snaking around your heads as two sets of golden yellow eyes focused on the glowing stars above.

One Year Later

The memory vanished into the air from your mind, and the last thing you felt was your heart growing warm at the sight of Neteyam’s breathtaking smile before he pulled the both of you into the cool water.

Your legs were hugged to your chest with your thin arms wrapped around them tight, your chin digging into your kneecaps while your eyes stared out into the open water. You thought about going in, either to look at the stars as if he was floating beside you or to drown yourself and join him with the Great Mother. You knew the latter would win more in this situation, so you kept yourself grounded and forced your mind to go blank, the lull in the water helps.

You shifted a hand through the sand beside you, the texture feeling nice on your skin. Eventually, you got bored, but you didn’t want to head back, so you just laid down and let the scratchy grains cling to your skin and burrow into your hair. You turned on your side, back facing the homes with you facing the swaying trees, but you let your imagination run.

You pretended that you were lying beside Neteyam, both facing each other with only an inch of separate space. A hand from both of you resting in the middle, fingers doing a mindless dance of touching and curling, bringing smiles to your faces. You would move closer, your hand that lay on the ground would make contact with his stomach, and his muscles would flex automatically with the graze. Neteyam would move his head closer, a quick bump of your nose, giggles spilling from your lips. He would throw an arm over your waist, knuckles gliding along your back, and you would lift your hand from the ground, let your palm rest upon his plump cheek, and thumb would stroke the stripes decorating his skin. And you would clear the final milometer of air, lips a breath away, you would look into his piercing eyes and with all the bravery you could muster, would whisper the words only meant for his ears.

“Neteyam… ma ‘teyam… I see-”

“(Y/n)?”

Your hand dropped from the air and sunk into the cool sand, you didn’t even bother to turn and face the approaching voice, you already knew who it was. It was always you and one other person who would leave the home for hours and wallow in pain.

You felt his body heat, skin just barely flicking over yours. You felt his eyes on you, you knew they would drip with pity and pain for you, and you didn’t want it. You were a mighty warrior, you withstood your cuts and bruises and persevered in the battle, even your mental ones.

“(Y/n)... I’m here- I-” “Lo’ak. Stop.” You closed your eyes, the tears making a comeback. You still kept your back to Lo’ak, not finding the mighty warrior in yourself to withstand this battle, instead shrinking away from the fight.

He didn’t say anything again, you didn’t say anything again, and the silence enveloped the bubble. With the sound of shuffling you thought he got up and headed back to sleep, probably knowing how guarded you are these days, but he didn’t leave he walked around you and laid beside you.

With the past year, you’ve closed yourself off, built a stone wall high to the heavens, and wrapped around the world. Only allowing small slips into the cracks, sea shell collecting with Tuk, enjoying the flora and fauna with Kiri, weaving baskets and jewelry with Neytiri in the mauri, and you’ll do whatever you can find with Jake. With Lo’ak, there was something that pulled the both of you a tiny bit closer. Be it the Great Mother, grief, Neteyam, or all of it together, you and Lo’ak always found each other in times of comfort.

You peeked your eyes open, Lo’ak watching your every breath, an arm pillowing his head with the other hand in the open space. It felt weird that he was in the same position you imagined Neteyam, but you didn’t think anything of it.

“(Y/n), I miss him. I miss my big brother.” Lo’ak’s voice was small, cracking on the words him and brother.

You didn’t speak, something you often did these days, you just linked your sandy hands together. You gave a squeeze knowing it would silently say to him, ‘I miss him too’.

Before…everything, you were a pretty touchy person. At least when you were super close and comfortable around the individual. And because you were comfortable around the Sullys you would express your love through all forms, touch sometimes being the easiest with the quick access. But after- after he was gone, you reclined into yourself, like you were waining off the feeling of na’vi skin. But Lo’ak was someone you felt naturally drawn to just touch, and it made you hurt because you always felt that way about Neteyam. Sometimes you didn’t want to be separated for even a second, needing to have a finger touching or your tail grazing by his legs.

You were worrying a bit that Lo’ak might be taking your intimate moments, your touches as something they weren’t. You loved Lo’ak, but only as a brother. Neteyam always filled the spaces in your heart. Friend, partner, ‘girlfriend’… future mate, your future husband. No one could fill those holes, they’ll always be empty until you die.

“Have you visited?”

You blinked your eyes, focusing back on the present. Lo’ak was just watching you, waiting for some type of response to his question. You heard him, faintly, but still heard.

You didn’t say anything, the quiet your nonverbal answer.

“I haven’t either,” his thumb ran over your knuckles, “I’m too scared.”

“Why scared?” A hushed whisper.

He shrugged, “might argue with me or something. Tell me it’s my fault, which is t-“

“False. Sky people are at fault.” A constant reminder from you to him.

Silence once again. Talking always takes too much energy for you.

“Would you be willing to visit him, together?” Lo’aks’s question drifted into the air.

“When we are ready, we will go. Together.”

Two Years Later

“I would like to visit Payakan.”

Lo’ak sat up from his lying position and looked down at you, his head blocking the blinding sun rays. You just peered up at him, face completely neutral.

“W-why?” His feathered brows furrowed, “it’s not safe.”

You cocked your head, striped brow raised, “never stopped you before.” A ghost of a smile mixed with some teasing.

Lo’ak scuffed and rolled his eyes at the remark, but you saw the smile. He looked at the open water for a moment before looking back at you. You could see the tiny gears turning in his head, probably weighing some pros and cons to your proposal.

He stood up and held a hand out, his answer to your request.

With a firm grasp, you let him pull you to your feet, his growing muscles pulling you against the gravity causing a light crash with your chests meeting. His free arm wrapped tight around your back to keep you from stumbling, it caused your breath to stutter and get caught in your throat before you cleared it.

“Lead the way, mighty warrior.” A quirk of your head caused Lo’ak to move, arm off your waist but the hand still held in yours.

He called his ilu with a yelp and grabbed the saddle. You didn’t bother calling yours, you still weren’t the best at riding even after living here for two years. Neteyam usually helped with your teaching and would have you ride with him when going out. You didn’t bother with learning further, not wanting to explore without him.

“(Y/n),” Lo’ak grabbed your bicep, “come on.”

He slid on the saddle with you just behind. His left hand holding the bar tight before looking over his shoulder and tapping your thigh with his right hand, “hold on tight. Breathe deep.” And he went under.

The crystal clear water past the reef felt like a whole new world. Almost nothing for the eye to see except for a few rocks that broke the surface, but other than that everything was below the surface.

“Where’s Payakan?” You whispered in his ear, it twitched against your nose.

“Uh, should be around here. Sometimes he finds me before I do.” His head looked side to side, trying to find the giant tulkun in the vast ocean.

You wrapped your arms around Lo’ak’s abdomen and leaned your head between his shoulder blades. Your ear could faintly hear this heart beating as he touched your forearm with his fingers, his heart speeding up just a bit.

“Is Payakan friendly?” Voice slightly muffled.

“Yeah. As long as you don’t provoke him or offend him. But he’s my spirit brother, he’ll accept you happily.”

“The sea gives and the sea takes.” Words you heard from Tsireya during lessons.

Your heart lurched at the phrase. Lo’ak lost Neteyam to the rocky seas with a fire burning in the distance but gained a Metkayina spirit brother in the calm and clear seas. Eywa must keep a balance of life, but this wasn’t a balance.

“Oh! (Y/n), look!” He eagerly tapped your arm and pointed to the horizon.

In the blink of an eye, a tulkun appears before the both of you, its eyes watching intently. It made some noises of communication, out of happiness or a threat, you couldn’t tell. But Lo’ak happily slid from the saddle and swam beside his eye and gave a very open hug to the creature. Its eyes closed and hummed a higher pitch, happy.

“(Y/n), come.” Lo’ak held a hand out for you.

You quickly joined the two, Lo’ak’s hand moving to place yours along the tough skin of the animal. A smile was pulled at your lips, you weren’t sure why, but you didn’t think too hard about it. You felt extremely happy for the first time in two years and you’ll absorb the feeling into your bones.

“Payakan, this is (Y/n). She’s part of my family.”

“Hello. Lo’ak speaks very highly of you. I’m grateful for the opportunity to meet you.” Your hand moved in soothing circles.

Another higher-pitched hum, “he likes you.”

Your attention away from Payakan focused on Lo’ak. He sat on the floating fin, hips and lower half submerged in the water with his torso and up dry. He held a delicate smile on his lips, small indents on either side. His eyes which were already focused on you looked gentle, his lids dropped just a bit, and his golden irises held a tiny spark.

It caused a shiver to run along your spine.

Three Years Later

Your lower half sat in the shallow waters of the beach. Water pushing and pulling, lapping at your body giving a gravitational pull, a pull that you resisted each time. Your hands would dance atop the surface, palms skimming the pleasant texture and fingers doing quick taps that cause a tiny plop.

You watched with fondness as Kiri lay on her stomach with her body submerged below the clear waters. One arm kept her upper body from dropping into the sand while the other ran through the still grains. Something so simple and she was mesmerized, you loved it.

With a turn of your head, you noticed two figures further down the beach, one teal and the other blue. Tsireya and Lo’ak. They were sitting beside each other, you couldn’t tell much about their conversation, neither giving off blatant expressions. They seemed to be making jewelry or carving, maybe both, each doing their own thing while just wanting to enjoy the other's company.

They looked happy, at peace. You felt glad for them.

“They make a good couple.” Kiri’s sudden voice causes you to jump a bit. You just nodded, “they do. Maybe they’ll mate when older. He’s been into her since we arrived.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

Everyone is tired and wishing for rest, hoping they grant uturu to your family. Neteyam and you automatically stand beside each other, fingers grazing as you walk to the formed crowd. With your curious eyes, you try and take in everything around you, from the people to the village, and it amazed you. And then with the perfect timing, you noticed a girl slipping into the water before making her way to the shores, and you heard a slight gasp. With a slight turn of your head, you noticed how Lo’ak couldn’t take his eyes off her, he was instantly fixated on the beauty.

You bumped your hand against Neteyam’s calling for his attention.

“It seems your brother has found a potential mate,” a quick chuckle, “if they allow.” Was all Neteyam followed up with.

“(Y/n), did you hear me?” Kiri’s fingers dug into your ribs.

You shifted away from a potential second attack, “no. Sorry, a memory came to mind.”

You ignored the eye roll she gave, “I said, but it seems like Lo’ak might have affection for someone new.”

A furrow came to your brows, “where are you hearing this? Do you not see the way he acts around Tsireya? He acts like a skxawng about… ninety percent of the time, and that’s just now. It used to be a bit higher.”

She licked her lips and her eyes dipped to the ground before meeting yours, “there’s something different…in the way, he looks at- his eyes hold something when he gazes upon you.” You couldn’t believe the words leaving Kiri’s mouth, “his eyes hold something when he gazes upon you.” She was wrong, simply wrong.

“You are wrong.” You shook your head at her absurdity, “Lo’ak doesn’t see me as anything other than another sister.”

She huffed, “(Y/n), I don’t know if you ever knew this, but when Lo’ak was younger he would tell me how he admired you. You probably thought nothing of it, but he would try to follow you around like a lost direhorse. I noticed the tiny scowls that came upon his face when Neteyam would steal away your attention. Plus he’s the only one you’re physically affectionate with besides-“

“I’m affectionate with all of you. Neteyam was extra special in my heart, he was my promised mate.” You started to get defensive.

She placed a hand on your shoulder, “yes, I understand. I just notice how the two of you hold each other in the night, Lo’ak holds you firmly to his chest with his arm over your waist and you will have your face tucked under his jaw.”

Your ears twitched, “I’m just trying to say, be careful. The both of you. Someone is gonna get hurt, and we’re just starting to heal our wounds.” Were her last wise words before standing up and walking away.

Three Years and Five Months Later

“I want to go to the cove and see Neteyam.”

You turned your head to the side, and bits of sand scratched your skin. Lo’ak kept his eyes on the sky, hands clasped over his stomach. You looked away when he didn’t meet your gaze.

“You are ready?”

“Not really, but I need to see him again.” It seemed like he had more to say so you waited, “are you ready?”

This time you knew he looked at you, the movement caused your ears to twitch at attention.

“No. But his face has started to blur and I lost the sound of his voice, his laugh. I miss it all, so it must be time.” You pushed off the ground and hunched over your legs.

His hand touched your back and you flinched before relaxing. Kiri’s words from a few months ago echoed in the back of your head. “If you are not ready, we can wait. You said we would go together when the both of us are ready. I’ll wait for you.”

You peeked at Lo’ak, something about that last part struck a chord with you. You see how his brows were raised just a bit and pinched in the middle, eyes open and clear. Full of understanding and love.

You fear Kiri’s words are becoming true.

You licked your lips, “we’ll go to the cove.” And you instantly stood up and walked away, Lo’ak following a step behind.

The both of you trod water for a bit once you reached the spirit tree, fully realizing that you're finally gonna see Neteyam again after three years. With a look to Lo’ak and a nod from him, the both of you took a breath and dove under and down.

As you stared at a tendril you started to think maybe you weren’t ready to see him, but with your hand being tugged by Lo’ak, you pulled your queue from behind your back and let the moving tendrils be pulled closer until they connected with your mind.

You were back in the forest.

It was midday, and the bright sun held high in the clear blue sky, not a cloud in sight. The grass was a luscious green, soft beneath your bare and calloused feet. Helicoradian and Octoshroom stood at their tall heights, you hit a few helicoradian causing them to shrink in on themselves which brings a laugh of joy out of you.

You walk to the stream where you and Neteyam would usually hang out during the day when both of you were free to escape. As you get closer the sound of the rushing water causes your heart to speed up just a bit, you’ve missed that sound for a while without even knowing.

When you entered the clearing, pushing a few low hanging leaves away from your face, your breath caught in your throat and you almost tripped over an unseen root. Head popping away from the rushing water and in your direction, Neteyam.

He hasn’t aged a day, which, obviously. But it just causes you to freak out a bit, you’ve grown three years, would he see you as past you or present you?

But focusing back on the boy you’ve missed so much. His usual head of braids, feathers, and beads were missing, just a curtain of dark black strands falling over his face and shoulders, it must have been a washing day. He’s also free of a necklace and armband, you notice his knife and bow are near the banks.

“(Y/n), come join me!” His voice made your chest rumble. Has it always been this deep?

“No tricks?” You stepped closer.

“No tricks,” he echoed back.

“Are you naked?” Hands at your hips.

He rolled his eyes, “obviously. Will you hurry up?”

“Nìhoet (perv), turn around first, skxawng.”

“We are to be mated, I’m allowed to see.”

“Not for a while, ‘evengan (boy). Turn.”

He put his hands up in surrender and turned, his toned back showing off his defined stripes. Quickly you stripped yourself of your feathered top and loincloth and rushed into the water with a splash.

You swam up to Neteyam who turned around at your disruption to the quiet. You kept your body under the water with just your head peeking free, your hair a halo behind you.

“I’ve missed you, oeyä sayrìp (my handsome).” A hand touched his cheek before pushing the free hair away. Needing to see all of him.

A hand fell atop the one resting on his cheek with his free one sitting along your jaw, thumb gliding with your stripes as his other three fingers dug into the root of your hair.

“I’m right here, oeyä sevin (my pretty).”

You teared up at that. He says he’s right there, but he’s not. You can’t touch him or converse with him whenever you choose to, you have to make the journey to the spirit tree now just to see figments of memories you had with him. And it seems he doesn’t even know he’s dead, so you can’t tell him these qualms you have.

“Ma tanhì, what hurts you?” Both hands hold your face, caged in his clasp.

You hold his wrist and close your eyes, the tears leaking from your waterline and down your cheek. You feel him wipe them away. You have to bite your lip to compose yourself.

His lips kiss your forehead, they linger and it breaks you even further. He pulled away and you said the words that have been lingering on your tongue.

“Ma Neteyam, Oel ngati kameie (i see you).”

He smiled, that easy smile you always loved seeing, “I know.” And he pulled you close with the hands still on your face, and pressed his lips against yours.

Your eyes peeled open.

All you saw was the bright light of the tree with your queue still attached before you pulled it free. You turned your head to the left where Lo’ak was floating, he still seemed to be connected, his eyes closed and hand still held firmly in yours. You bit the skin of your bottom lip and squeezed your eyes shut.

This was the reason you waited to visit because you knew that when you saw him again, it would break you like the first time. He didn’t get enough time with you, with his family, with himself. It wasn’t fair, this was the cruelest thing Eywa has ever done to you.

With a pull to your arm, your legs automatically began scissor kicking you back to the surface. You took a gulping breath when you broke the surface, droplets of water running into your eyes and on your mouth, and your ears almost felt clogged. You pushed your heavy limps back to the ilu, biceps straining with the sudden weight before flopping on the saddle, ready to leave.

“You okay?” Lo’ak asked as he saw beside the animal, left hand on the saddle while his right touched your knee.

You looked away before making eye contact, “just tired.” Both emotionally and physically.

Lo’ak watched you but didn’t say anything, he just climbed in front of you and told the animal to go home.

When you reached the shore you quickly climbed off and walked away, needing to be completely by yourself and allow yourself to wallow or break down or just stare at nothing. You just wanted to be alone. But of course, with Lo’ak, he’ll come chasing after you.

“(Y/n). Come on, we should head home.” And when his hand grasped your wrist, you exploded.

With a blind rage in your heart, you barred your fangs and released a hiss from deep within your chest. He let go of you and you stepped away before running into the trees. The instant regret took away a bit of the fire in your heart, you’ve never bared your fangs at any of the Sullys, even in playful moments.

As you walked through the small jungle area of the island you scrubbed your hands over your face, trying to erase any evidence of your tears. Cheeks flushed with your blood rushing and eyes touched with a red hue in the whites, chest heaving with hiccuping breaths and your ribs hurt with every few beats. Finally, your knees just gave out causing you to collapse to the floor, a deep growl building in your throat.

With a scream, you cried to the Great Mother, begging and pleading for Neteyam to come back. As exaggerated as it sounds, you needed Neteyam to breathe, to live. He unknowingly gave so much purpose to your life, you planned a future with him, you talked about children when you were ready. Pandora doesn’t have the same vibrant colors you use to see every waking day, it doesn’t hum with the high-pitched energy that you felt in your bones. Everything was dull and gray, the food tasted bitter on your tongue.

In your moment of heaving air and pleading to the air, arms snaked around your waist and pulled you in tight against a solid chest. You indulged for just a moment, pretending it was your beloved, but the voice snapped the trance.

“Just pretend,” he kept his voice low, “pretend you are in his arms. Say the words to free your heart.”

Your cries died off, your brows furrowed at his words. You tried to turn your eyes on him, but he removed a hand from your waist and draped them over your eyes, blocking out everything unimportant. You heard the water crashing, the wind brushing the leaves and grass, and your ears twitching with every breath that touched the sensitive skin. His skin was a warm comfort, chest pressing with every breath released, the pads of his fingers just a bit rough from time, the arm still holding your waist was a welcome weight.

“Talk to me, ma… ma txe’lan (my heart).” A nice pet name, but you heard the hesitance, and ignored it.

You touched his forearm, “ma ‘teyam… how I yearn for you day and night. Fruits aren’t as rich and juicy, the sky isn’t as bright and clear, and the children’s shrieks of joy aren’t as full in my heart. You were the air I breathed each second and now with you gone, I feel like I am suffocating. So right now I am angry at you. You had to be the fucking fkew tsamsyiu (mighty warrior)! I- I know how Kiri and Lo’ak- how they care for the human, Spider, but- you couldn’t be selfish or- or pull Lo’ak away. You couldn’t say no, he- Lo’ak, has such a soft spot in your txe’lan. And I know, I know already, I’ve told him plenty of times, it is not his fault. He just wanted his friend back, I understand. And- and I understand your actions, your family was in danger- our family was in danger,” you heaved a breath, “I- I am not angry with you, I’m angry with the sky people. They can’t leave us alone, touching and violating our home and destroying every beautiful gift Eywa has blessed us with. We should have been able to grow old… grow a lor (beautiful) family in the forest. We would teach them the way of the bow, grow them into fkew tsamsyius or zeykoyus (healers), and they would learn from Mo’at.” Your body slumped, and energy vanished.

Lo’ak felt the tears but didn’t speak, only kissed your temple. The kiss lingered and then another kiss near your ear, another to your cheek, a fourth one to your jaw that lead to a few more. You felt him turn your head, both hands touching your neck, you didn’t dare open your eyes, too lost in the spell to break it just yet. With your hands moving to take hold of his biceps, you felt the breath of air ghost your lips.

“Please,” you begged with your heart.

His lips pressed to yours hesitantly, waiting to see if you’ll push further or break away. You tilted your head just a bit, granting better room for your lips to properly move together. And within those few seconds of kissing, you knew. You knew that the spark that was usually there every time has disappeared, telling you that this wasn’t your Neteyam and that you couldn’t see Lo’ak in any other way than as a friend, a brother.

You pushed away, shame filling your blood. ‘You shouldn’t have done this’ ‘This wasn’t fair to Lo’ak’

“I am sorry. I- I shouldn’t have…” “(Y/n), would you mate with me?”

Your head snapped to Lo’ak, eyes wild with confusion at his sudden question. He looked serious, with no hint of mischief within his glowing eyes. His hands still held a firm hold on your neck, his fingers grazing your skin. His ears were pressed to his skull, awaiting some type of answer from you.

“I- I… why would you ask such a question? Whe- where is this coming from?”

He licked his lips, “Neteyam would want you happy. He would want you to have that family, to grow old with someone who cares for you as he did.”

‘No one could care for me as Neteyam did’

“It hurts to see you in pain and I would do everything in my power to take it away-” “You do not like or love me, Lo’ak. You are just confused, I have confused you.”

He shook his head, “no, no. I do, I do like you. I hold love for you that can grow with time-”

“Lo’ak! Stop this!” You wretched free of his hold, “mating is a serious affair. You should not be proposing this pairing just because I have lost my promised one. You say that you are doing this because Neteyam would want me happy, but what about you? Would this union bring love into your life every time you think about it? Because you are blinded by- by our- by my unintended intimacy. I have taken advantage of your comfort, I have twisted your thoughts. You do not love me. You do not see me.”

“Oel ngati kameie, (Y/n). I do,” Lo’ak tried to reach out to you.

You shrunk back, “do not throw those words around worthlessly!” Your arms wrapped over your stomach, “Lo’ak, I know that you had some type of- of feelings for me when we were younger. Kiri mentioned it to me. And with time I assumed they faded because when we arrived here you were instantly transfixed with Tsireya. I saw how your eyes followed her movements, your brows raising, the- the greeting you said to her that caused giggles to spill from her lips. I could feel that this was something more. And when our training started I saw how nervous she made you, how she said your heartbeat sped up every time she touched you, the both of you sharing dazzling smiles. Tsireya makes you happy, Lo’ak.”

A sigh left your lips, “do not throw your happiness away because of me.” Lo’ak tried to take a step towards you but you backed away, throwing a hand up, “I think it best if we are away from each other for a while. I- I need to heal properly and you need to rid yourself of these thoughts for me and focus on spending time with Tsireya again.”

Four Years Later

“Fkew Tuktirey! A glorious catch! The family will be proud.” You shifted her head of braids, her laughs filling the air.

The two of you trudged back to your mauri pod, Tuk holding the fish she was able to catch. She’s grown so much in four years, now age eleven and standing at shoulder height, it brought tears to your eyes, she was already starting to be confident and outgoing. Neteyam would be so proud of her.

As she ran ahead into the home you could faint voices having a conversation, voices talking loudly and over each other. You were worried someone was getting yelled at, but when you walked in it was a different scene than what you expected.

Near the entrance, Jake and Neytiri were seated on the ground, smiles brightening their faces in glee. And you noticed that two other bodies sat across from them, Tsireya and Lo’ak, their hands clasped beside their thighs. They all looked up at your and Tuk’s interruption to the home, but no smiles faltered at the intrusion.

“Sa’nu! (mom) Sempu! (dad) Look at the fish I caught with (Y/n)!” She hopped her way over to her parents. They both gasped and applauded her catch, Jake pulling her into his lap, pecking her face in quick kisses causing her to laugh. It was a joyful sight to behold.

“This will make for a wonderful dinner tonight. A celebration of two!” Neytiri boasted. You cocked your head, “what’s the other occasion?”

You took note of Jake and Neytiri sharing a look and Tsireya and Lo’ak doing the same, you and Tuk were the only two out of the loop. It wasn’t until Tsireya gave a simple nod that Lo’ak turned to you, “Tsireya and I are to be mated.” Tuk shrieked in delight before leaping to the couple for hugs.

“I always knew the two of you would come together,” a declaration heard by everyone but meant for Lo’ak. “You were always wise, (Y/n),” then suddenly Lo’ak did the gesture, hand to his forehead before dropping. I see you. The others might have thought it weird, but it meant a lot to you, Lo’ak finally understood you.

“Oh, Tsireya, I can’t wait for you to be an official family member!” Your arms are thrown over her shoulders. The two of you giggle with infectious joy and wiggle your bodies with buzzing energy.

Four Years and Two Months Later

The waves crashed and cried, the thundering in your ears almost a welcomed melody at this point. The blazing sun of the late afternoon warmed your skin in a nice hug, and gentle kisses to your cerulean stripes.

Your back sunk into the grains of sand on the beach, the shade of a palm tree leaves bringing relief to your face. Your eyes were closed in peace with lips slightly parted to release puffs of air, hands clasped over your stomach as it rose and fell. With your hair free of braids and the wind blowing, your jet-black strands would tickle your chin or nose, a crinkle forming to stop an incoming sneeze.

Almost slipping into a calming slumber you missed the soft steps heading your way on the beach, the wind and water covering the tracks. It wasn’t until a crunching noise grew louder that you heard the sigh of someone beside you. So you peeled an eye open and in the corner you saw-

“Lo’ak. Did you need something?” You just closed your eye and waited for an answer from him. Body stays in its tranquil state.

He didn’t say anything, you only heard shuffling on his part. But you waited, letting him collect his thoughts since it’s been a while since the both of you have been alone together. It was nice to be around him again, but you knew it was for the best, for both of you.

There was a graze to your forearm and it made you tense up, the touch unwelcomed. You didn’t push him away, just turned your head and stared at the boy- the man before you. Your golden eyes squinted at his quiet demeanor, knees pulled up and head bowed with his braids falling over his shoulder and shielding his face.

“Lo’ak,” he jerked his hand away like you burned off fire, “why have you come here? It is best if we are away from each other.”

His head moved, “I’ve missed my old friend. Missed sitting in silence with you and just keeping each other company as we mourned for Neteyam. Missed having you join me when visiting Payakan, he misses you as well,” a quick laugh, “and I- I just missed being with you.”

You let the words sink in, digesting and absorbing every syllable and word. “I have missed you too, Lo’ak.” A simple confession. You saw the tiny smile on his face.

“Are you excited to be mated with Tsireya?” Wanting to have an easy conversation.

Lo’ak looked out into the clear waters, “yeah. I’m lucky she accepted me, flaws and all. She’s so perfect and gentle and sweet with everyone she meets, always having my heart squeeze with admiration for her. And she chooses me, reckless and carefree Lo’ak who’s always doing shit to get me into trouble or danger. The perfect girl chose the disappointment. It is almost like a dream.” His fingers twiddled, pulling at the joints or tapping fingers together.

“You are not a disappointment, Lo’ak.” A poke was sent to his thigh for his attention, “your family loves you very much. And, yes, some of the things they have said to you haven’t been the nicest, but they bubbled from a place in their heart from fear of losing you.”

He looked away, hands still fidgeting so you pulled the closest into your grasp as you continued speaking, “and you say you are lucky for Tsireya choosing you, but she is also the lucky one. She looks at you like you hung every star that sparkles in the night sky, you pull laughter from deep within her chest, her heart. She touches you with a fragile air, hands always clasped between your bodies or caressing your cheek as she gets lost in your eyes. I see all this from far away. And- and I envy the both of you.”

Lo’ak opened his mouth to speak but you stopped him still needing to speak your mind, “I am so happy that you are able to have this love in your life. You truly deserve the best Lo’ak and being with someone who makes your days brighter and heart lighter, Eywa has given you a great blessing.”

You saw his eyes gloss over with water forming and his tongue popping out to lick his lips. You said all that needed to be spoken, so now you let him understand your words and waited for anything to be said from his side. With his hand still in your hold you ran your thumb over his knuckles.

“(Y/n), I know these are probably the words you don’t wish to hear, but I too need to speak my mind as well.” His eyes bore into yours. You had a guess as to what he was going to say, but just nodded your head and let him speak.

“I did like you. When we were younger and I saw you in action for the first time, it was like Eywa crafted you with such care and precision. I was in awe, but Neteyam got to you first, so I kept a certain distance when it came to you. But when… when he died… I felt- I felt just a bit of hope that- that- I don’t even know now. But I do want to say… you were right. Us being separated helped clear me of confusing thoughts and feelings and allowed me to focus on the one who loved me right away.”

Four Years and Nine Months Later

The beach was crowded. Every resident of Awa’atlu was present and dressed in their finest for the union of Tsireya and Lo’ak, the first pairing of different clans. Tonowari and Ronal along with Jake and Neytiri stood to the side of their children, and their siblings at the front of the crowd. You stood between Kiri and Tuk, a hand in both of yours.

You watched and listened as Ronal stepped forward, with her being tsahík she was the one to officiate the wedding, giving her blessings and wise words from Eywa. You saw the smiles pulling at the parents' mouths and the tears welling in their eyes, their children have grown up.

Tsireya with her hair intricately fashioned with beads and shells, her top that shimmered with pearls covering every inch of skin, but her smile and teary eyes were the most beautiful part of her. Her ever-expressive face showed that she was excited to spend the rest of her life with the man standing before her, ready to start a family with him in the future when they are further into adulthood. Excited to wake up every day to his face and arms wrapping her tight to his chest and falling asleep every night to the feel of his chest moving with every breathe and feel the light kisses he would place upon her hair or forehead before mumbling how he loves her and wishes her a good night.

With Lo’ak it looked like he was holding himself back from jumping into Tsireya and tugging her into a steering kiss. He wore a newly woven armband with a feather attached and an Omatikaya cummerbund, almost like his final goodbye to the forest before he gets his tattoos of the Metkayina warriors in due time. He held her hands tightly, thumbs constantly moving to show his nerves and excitement. His smile was ginormous, it was pushing his cheeks high and causing his eyes to squint, it was adorable. His tail was swinging side to side in a rapid movement and his ears were perked high, listening to every word being spoken by Ronal. His eyes shine with love, probably thinking of getting to kiss his mate whenever he wants, day and night nothing would stop him from a quick peck or a passionate melting of lips that caused hands to wander. He’ll enjoy all the loud and quiet moments in their home, just enjoying the other company as they do their own tasks. He’ll talk about his day over dinner and she listens with focused ears and watchful eyes.

The loud cheers of the crowd snapped you from your daydreaming, imagining you and Neteyam’s future.

Tsireya and Lo’ak share a kiss before the clan, their joining of queues and mating before Eywa would take place away from the eyes of others.

With a feast held in their name, everyone was in high spirits. The music was flowing and people were dancing, the food was cooked to perfection and in abundance, and the drinks splashed causing people to let loose. You clapped, cheered, and laughed with your new clan, your new home. Conversing with people your age and allowing yourself to make new friends.

When the eclipse was high in the sky you excused yourself from the festivities and walked to a secluded part of the beach.

As you lay on the beach with your hands behind your head and eyes staring up at the sky, you yearned for him once again. Yearned for his warmth and his touch, his voice and laugh. Yearned for the domestic life you envisioned yourself to have with him, imagining your children squealing and running amuck, but bringing endless light and joy to your lives, as he’d done to yours.

With almost five years passed since his departure, everyone has healed most wounds. There were still cracks and tears within your hearts that might never mend, but you knew that Neteyam was watching all of you. He would be smiling and almost shocked that Lo’ak mated before him, but he would be happy because he knew his little brother deserves every ounce of love. Neteyam would be happy that everyone is living their lives happily and growing more into themselves, with great love filling their bones.

And with that knowledge, he’s happily waiting with Eywa until his family can join him on the other side.

...

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ultimateloserboy · 1 year

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I’ve been holding back this ramble forever but the food episode makes me tear up and i NEED to talk about it.

The food episode was the only episode I really couldn’t watch as a kid. I remember being horrified by it. to this day i still feel uneasy thinking about it, even though it doesn’t scare me in the slightest anymore. the reason i feel uneasy now isnt because im scared, its because to me its the saddest episode of the whole series and makes me want to punch walls. when i was younger i didnt notice a lot of the things ive noticed now, and every time i watch the episode i notice even more.

a lot of people talk about this episode as if red guy ran away and wants nothing to do with the house, that he’s trying to save the other two by bringing them to his world. while i dont think this is a wrong or bad interpretation, considering it’s understandable, id like to talk about my own interpretation. i dont think red guy even knew how he left. keep in mind he just exploded and then woke up in an office. there’s absolutely nothing suggesting he ran away on purpose. all he wanted was for colin to shut up, he wasnt intending to find the room he found. this itself isnt an interpretation, its a fact, BUT how he feels about it and what he does in the red guy world is completely up to interpretation! mine is that he wants to go home instead of trying to get the other two out of it. lemme explain ok hear me out:

throughout the entire food episode red guy is constantly popping up in the background somewhere. hes drawn behind windows and his head is in the microwave in one shot. when duck knocks the camera over for a split second you can even see his legs as it falls. the leg thing is what really got me, because most other times he was simply drawn. but those were his actual legs standing in the kitchen. to me it represents the fact that he isnt actually there but is “haunting” the other two. they dont really remember him but they can see him out of the corners of their eyes. hes blurry and far away but they KNOW someone is there (or WAS there, i should say). but on his end i think it could represent how hes still there in his head, how hes still singing songs and shit like that despite being out of that world. he says he hated that world, that hes allergic to music, but now that hes gone from it its stuck in his head. he misses the music. he misses his friends. hes still there in spirit.

before i continue id just like to say that, no, the main three INCLUDING RED GUY dont always want to leave the house. especially when they have to leave the others behind. whenever theyre off somewhere they usually want to go back home, yellow guy even said “i want to go home” word for word once. but he also said “no more songs” these things can exist at the same time guys. they can not want to drown in oil but still want to live in their house, yall realize that right? thats a huge theme in the show, that the house and the main three have a very complicated relationship. they dont want to leave their home they just want it to, yaknow, NOT EAT THEM. so i think red guy wanting to come home isnt at all out of character. and he doesnt like the red guy world anyway, why would he take his friends there when theyre wacky as shit and wouldnt fit in there or enjoy it at all? also id like to make the point that he doesnt know what’s happening in the house (at least not the seriousness of it) until he sees the machine. so him trying to save the other two from getting munched makes no sense to me personally. AGAIN THO THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION!! YOURS IS VALID TOO AND I LOVE YOU!!!

But anyway continuing on, ducks reaction especially makes me insane. whenever i see how duck acts in episodes like “jobs” when he starts freaking out and trying to get the first aid kit for yellow guy im reminded of this episode. duck really does love his friends at heart. he doesnt want to leave the house, he sees no point, but to me the reason he doesnt want to leave is BECAUSE of his friends (or at least one of the reasons). in the tv series duck has a whole argument with red guy about leaving, and while some people say this duck is different than webseries duck i have to disagree. i think duck wouldve always argued about staying, but i also think hed always want to leave if red guy did. duck always switches up as soon as something is “wrong”. he always wants to stay until one of his friends is acting weird/hurt/missing and then suddenly the world isnt right and he doesnt want to be there. not only that but he will do everything in his power to fight against the things keeping him from his friends or hurting them, even if it means risking his own life. he knew some weird shit was going on every time he answered the phone, but despite that he continued answering anyway. he interrupted the songs and pushed things away and kept running to the phone, being disobedient and not giving a damn. this isnt unusual for duck, but it makes me especially ill, because he acts very confused as well. hes very upset, not mad like he usually is but genuinely upset and worried. most likely because of how hazy his memory is. my favorite scene of the series is when he pushes over the camera and says “i dont want to do this anymore” it rips my heart apart hes just like me fr. it also comes back to the transport episode, where hes like “well the song wasnt that great but at least it was funny. nobody gets TOO hurt by these songs and stuff so who cares? why leave?” i think hes always thought this way, the reason he says “i dont want to do this ANYMORE” is because suddenly the world has shifted. suddenly things are much more sinister and make even less sense. suddenly he is in genuine danger, and he isnt coming back this time. things have gone too far now, and he tries tearing down reality itself to get out, but unfortunately hes just not strong enough.

i also like to think that the food is singing about red guy the whole time, not actually food, and how he deserves punishment, and if you end up like him youll be punished too (which is exactly what happens to duck for answering the phone) “the bad, not-healthy foods are very rude! and must leave through the catflap!” isnt that what red guy did? he wandered too far and saw what he shouldnt have so he was sent away. also the steak says “you need to know whats right from wrong” which doesnt go with the rest of the song at all and seems to be directed at duck specifically. it seems more like theyre trying to keep duck and yellow guy in line rather than teach them about food. when they say “you shouldnt eat food from a strangers plate” considering the previous lyrics and the context before the chanting i think theyre talking about not believing what youre told by “strangers” (aka the non-teacher characters) theyre saying not to listen to whatever red guy is trying to say, to not answer the phone, to not end up like him. or at least thats what i think anyway.

lastly, the ending. yellow guy sitting in the kitchen alone, in the dark, covered in blood while the phone loudly rings is probably the most haunting part of the series to me. remember what i said about not being scared? well i LIED. this scene specifically still scares the fuck out of me. it fills me with genuinely painful dread. the scene where he looks over at the phone, hearing it but not getting up to answer it and letting it ring until red guy gives up is heartbreaking. im not sure if yellow guy even knows what’s happening in this scene, but hes been taught by now to NOT ANSWER THE PHONE. so he doesnt. and the teachers leave him alone with the phone because theyre confident he wont answer it. and theyre right. it breaks my heart just looking at it. in the next episode he ends up fighting back just like duck did, but just like duck, he cant truly do anything. it really puts into perspective how powerless all three of them are. god it ruins me. all they wanted was to know what the biggest thing in the world was, and now theyve been torn apart for wandering too far. cries and sobs

#dhmis #dhmis fandom #dhmis duck #dhmis red guy #duck guy #red guy #duck dhmis #dhmis analysis #yellow guy #yellow guy dhmis #dhmis yellow guy #dont hug me im scared #dhmis healthy band #dhmis food gang #dhmis tv show #dhmis web series #dhmis 5

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lemonmaid · 6 months

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There is no one here.

Warnings: angst? Also this was kinda of a vent fic, I wrote down all my feelings from the past year and turned it into a fic, that's why it's corny.

(Name)/Reader is Yuu/Perfect

"I do everything, and I never get a thank you"

"I've had to take care of every mess, and my only reward is getting a pat on the back or being allowed to even go on trips as the bag carrier".

"When I complain, I just get threatened to be kicked out or reminded that there is no where for me to go. How would that make you feel?"

"I get asked to do thing, but if I don't do them then am the asshole"

"I have no one besides that damn cat to hug. How sad is that. I don't even remember when the last time someone said that they love me or gave me a genuine hug. I miss my family, I miss the people who genuinely cared about me".

"If I died here there wouldn't be anyone to care, my family probably thinks I'm already dead!"

(Name) felt like drowning, they felt like tempered glass that was dropped too hard.

'Burned out' that's the word (Name) wanted to use but who can say? Depression, burned out, anger, agony, it was the same thing in the mixing bowl, but beaten to hard.

(Name) just stared at their phone, waiting for the alarm to just go off so they could start another day, doing everyone's chores, then working a shift at Azul's lounge, then finally doing theirs and Grims homework.

*ting*

Times up. Time to get ready and be there for everyone while no one is there for you.

.....

(Name) could barely hear the arguing between Ace and Grim, then venting coming from Epel, (Name) was too zoned our to notice their food getting colder and colder. But they could feel the hundreds of eyes upon them, it was like a curse.

"(Name) are you-" before Jack could finish his sentence a swarm of needy people came to their table.

"Oohhhh (nammmmee)! Me and Jamil are going to this new restaurant, do you wanna come with?"

"Oi her-"

"Get your dirty paws off them, I was here first, so their attention should be on me".

"Shrimpy!! Can you take my shift tonighttttt?????".

The bickering slowly started fade out, (Name) couldn't focus on anything but clock ticking and their heart beating.

"IM GOING TO THE BATHROOM!" (Name) suddenly ran off.

In the bathroom, (Name) was almost hyperventilating.

'I can't keep doing this' (Name) thought as they splashed water onto their face.

(Name) looked in the mirror, their sunken face, tired eyes, their appearance was laughable.

(Name) felt angry, why are they always the bad guy, why can't they put boundaries? Why are they the one who has to do everything? Why are they the one who has to fix it?

(Name) was slowly seething.

But then their heartbreaks at the thought that no one really cares, can't anyone else see them slowly slipping away? Why won't anyone help them, why can't anyone else see what they are going through?

"Hey, you doing okay bro?"

(Name) turned around facing Duece, "Yeah, I'm fine. You know, stressed".

Deuce gave (name) a look, "are you sure? You look agitated"

(Name) thought about it, this would be a great time to just vent! "Am I? Sorry, I wouldn't know why"

Deuce hummed, "your food was getting cold, thought I would save it"

(Name) grabbed the tray from Deuce, "thanks".

A knock interrupts the two, "oh! (Name)! Perfect timing! I need your assistance!"

(Name) felt their body sink to the floor, "How can I help Crowley?".

Keys jingle, the door opens, "Perfect! I need your help! It's a dire situation! One that will cost Ramshackle!".

(Name) felt themselves age faster.

Crowley explains how he fell into a pyramid scheme, how does this involve (name)? No one knows.

"If you don't help! Who know what could happen! Those overbolts only happen around you!".

(Name) felt their heart-dropped, tears tricked down their face.

Deuce reached out for "(Name)".

"I just feel so ashamed and embarrassed? How was any of that my fault? Like don't they know how traumatizing it was for me to go through all of those damn overbolts? Why do they have the right" (Name) wailed.

Crowley and Deuce could only watch in shock.

"This is all YOUR fault!" (Name) screamed.

"Now listen here perfect! Just because-"

"NO! It is your fault! Why am I to take any of the blame?!".

"What's going on in here?".

A crowd gathered around the bathroom door, hushed voices, judgemental, sympathetic stares.

(Name) felt the stares, eyes staring at them, seething. It was all too much.

The room was spinning; the voices getting louder, more eyes appearing.

It was madness.

(Name) felt their heart race, breathing so fast like they'd run a marathon.

'I've got to get out of here'.

(Name) went to move into the crowded hallway, their steps erratic.

The hushing voices are getting louder.

"Look at them".

"How are they the perfect?"

"Can't do anything right-".

"They don't belong here-".

"Magicless-".

"Abnormal-".

"Waste of space-".

"The school's janitor-".

"Teacher's pet"-.

"Stuck up-".

"WORTHLESS-".

A hand grabs their shoulders, "(Name) are you alright?".

(Name) looks into Malleus's eyes, "no".

Darkness.

☆

(Name) finally opened their eyes.

'It's quiet'.

(Name) looked around and saw "Get Well Soon" cards decorated the room, deflated balloons.

"You're awake".

(Name) saw Crowley sitting in a chair by them, "It's been a couple of weeks you know? Personally I thought you were gone, I mean, a magicless human overbolting? Never happened before. But with you, a lot of things never happened before".

"I'm still... so tired" (Name) silently cried.

"I know. I'm sorry".

Authors note:

No part 2, this was a vent fic that I fixed up and wrote into putting characters from Twisted Wonderland.

Sometimes there is no happy endings.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst malleus #twst crowley #twst deuce #disney twisted wonderland #vent fic

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redr0sewrites · 8 months

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I really need An Angsty fic with Aaravos and Reader where the reason he helps the Humans get what they want was so that they could destroy Eachother cus the humans killed his lover Aka Reader?

Anyway this is just a Lil idea that popped up I hope it's OK lol :) I luv my starboi☆

im sorry this took so long 😭 i love this request it really made me excited to see!!!! again im so sorry it took forever to get too i was on vacation for a while and i lost track of time <\\\3 anyway, hope u enjoy

🥀Cw: angst with no comfort, aaravos is in mourning, slight descriptions of violence and murder, depression

your death had been an accident, that is what aaravos had been told. a simple casualty of war, someone who got caught in the cross hairs of something they couldn't control. it was supposed to reassure him, it was supposed to make him feel better about your passing. and yet, it didnt. the screams of anguish that escaped from aaravos' throat cut through the air like a knife through butter, slicing waves of agony over anyone who heard them. you were gone, his precious star.

you had always been so kind, so willing to help others. you had tried to see the good in humans, you had always believed in them. your own sense of justice caused your demise. the beings that you had once loved and cared for so much had slain you, leaving aaravos painfully, dreadfully alone. aaravos remembered you well. he remembered long conversations under the stars, the both of you giggling and smiling as though nothing could ever hurt you now.

"what we have is special", you always told him with a smile. "nothing can hurt us if we have eachother". and yet, you were gone. aaravos woke yet sobbing again, your side of the bed disgustingly cold and empty. the sight of your face and the warmth of your touch was fleeting, disappearing as his dream faded. he tried to reach out, to warn you not to go, but every time you slipped through his fingers, telling you would be just fine. he felt like he was drowning in his own tears, reminiscing your final hours together.

"i'll be back soon my love", you giggled. "theres nothing to worry about. im only visiting the humans again!" despite the overwhelming sense of foreboding gnawing painfully at his gut, aaravos had nodded. oh, how regret burned in his heart at that simple acceptance.

aaravos remembered everything. he had lived a long, long time. he remembered every wound, every scar, and yet none stung as much as your death. he remembered when you first started helping the humans, you had offered magic to those pitiful creatures. aaravos had tried to warn you, he had tried to tell you that this path only led to pain, but you wouldn't listen. you never did. you told him to trust you, and trust you he did. aaravos followed you without a care or a reason, he loved you unconditionally in the same way that the moon loves the sun, always chasing, always wanting, and yet you always slipped away when sunrise came.

another tormenting dream. aaravos woke again, gasping and shivering as tears spilled down his cheeks. he reached towards your side of the bed, than remembered. aaravos layed back down, sinking bitterly into the mattress below him. nothing was comfortable now that you were gone. pastries were not sweet enough, wine was not strong enough, and sleep was not long enough.

the wound that was your death had festered and rotted so much within aaravos' heart that he feared he did not have one anymore. anguish had turned to regret, regret into depression, and depression into anger. the anger had only grown stronger, the loss of your light in his world was too much to bear.

the humans would burn for this, he wanted them all to feel the pain of his rotting heart. they had stolen his life, his love, his sun, and he would steal theirs. the creatures you had onlce loved, the beings you had put so much time and energy into saving, those despicable humans, they would pay. deep down, somewhere broken and small, a voice whispered from aaravos' heart that maybe, just maybe, this wasnt what you would have wanted. but that didnt matter anymore. you werent there to tell him that.

eee hope u enjoyed! this turned out better than expected :0

#tdp aaravos #tdp #the dragon prince #aaravos #tdp s5 #aaravos x reader #tdp x reader #aaravos angst #aaravos sad #aaravos x you #aaravos x reader angst #fancy writing #tdp angst #angst #the dragon prince x reader #the dragon prince angst

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islandofsages · 2 years

Text

speechless.

summary: in which you don lingerie.

characters: all the playable tall genshin men x male!reader

tags: queerplatonic, canon compliant, fluff, hc format

warnings: hugging, cuddling, touching in general, sleeping in the same bed

author’s notes: i am a trans man who likes the thought of wearing lingerie. so this should be no surprise to you. also bc i found a nice website of lingerie for men! it’s called xdress if any of you wanna check it out ^_^

FEM/FEM-ALIGNED DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. ALSO DON’T MAKE THIS WEIRD/NSFW, I’LL BLOCK YOU TOO.

ayato

you can see his cheeks are tinted with a soft pink and accompanied with the wistful look on his face, you conclude that he’s being absolutely adorable

he’d say you look stunning but you quite literally stunned him into silence. so much so that you grow worried for a second because of his lack of response

you walk over to him to shake him back to life - but then he surprises you with his words, barely above a whisper

“you’re dazzling.”

you shoot him a smile just as dazzling and, though his face remains unchanging, you swear you can see him grow more bewitched by you

when he does finally move, he only blinks as if he’s been broken out of a spell and beckons you to follow him to bed to get some shut-eye

he asks his retainers to get you more lingerie the very next day

childe

he bought that piece of lingerie as a joke and because someone dared him to but you in the piece itself is no joke, oh no siree

he’s about to have a heart attack over how astonishing you look. look, he’s already clutching his heart like the dramatic guy that he is!

jokes aside, he absolutely adores you he always does but especially right now plus he’s glad that the piece ended up not going to waste

he’d shower you in compliments while holding onto you and you’d struggle to thank him for every single one that at some point you just drown in a sea of flattery

“archons, how did i end up with someone as fantastic as you?”

you say you’ll wear it more since he likes it that much and he just screams internally (in a good way of course)

will spend all his savings just to fill your closet with more lingerie with the highest quality imaginable good luck holding him back

diluc

immediately covers his eyes with one arm to hide his obvious blush and tries to walk away, embarrassed beyond a doubt…

…but then he couldn’t resist taking a peek and lingerie aside, he gives up when he sees your disappointed face

“im sorry, you do look breathtaking, i-i was just surprised…”

you tease him by saying that he can stare all he wants that’s why you’re wearing it in the first place and he grows redder, though his eyes never left you

he doesn’t know where you got it but all his questions on the tip of his tongue die - he’s got no time to ask questions, he wants to savor this moment as much as he can

…he just stares at you, the blush never leaving his face. but you don’t mind! you take the chance to strike some poses like some kind of supermodel. you’re lucky it works - his gaze grows ever more enchanted by the second

you can tell he wants to see you in lingerie again so of course you ask him to buy more; and he’s more than happy to oblige.

itto

this guy doesn’t even try to hide it - he’s staring intensely at you, all bug-eyed and his jaw dropped. you can’t help it; you laugh

it does make you feel very loved and much more confident in your skin though. itto’s always been an expert at that

he’d bug some people so he could borrow a kamera and take pics of you being absolutely attractive and you’d have to stop him from causing more trouble for the gang

“i need you framed on every wall in the house, (y/n). you look too good-looking for me to not do anything about it!”

you wanted him to be the embarrassed one but of course, things don’t usually go as planned with him and here you are, the embarrassed one

after convincing him to not take pictures of you in the piece of lingerie, you joke that he’d look good in one himself…and of course he takes that as a challenge

let’s just say you better be ready for tomorrow because he’s gonna blow your brains out.

kaeya

“oh my.”

that’s all he says upon first look. with a surprised expression and all, he takes you in as he looks you up and down

you begin to have second thought about this - surely you can never compete with kaeya’s beauty right? but then he sighs dreamily, interrupting your train of thought

he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear bashfully, which you admit is a bit uncharacteristic but to be fair, you wearing lingerie is pretty rare too

he asks you if he can touch you; if you let him, he’ll simply hold your hands in his and cherish the moment, cherish you

you feel like a piece of art in a museum - with the way he’s admiring you so intently and silently, you feel a blush growing on your cheeks instead

once he’s done staring, he goes back to teasing you, which obviously doesn’t help the blush on your cheeks. even then, you can see the slight pink under his eyes - his laugh couldn’t mask that much.

thoma

oh boy, i think you broke him.

he is as red as a tomato and his gaze is already averted, both out of embarrassment and politeness

you assure him it’s okay to look and that you two are partners after all. but don’t blame him - he’s just respecting your boundaries as always

once he’s finished being embarrassed ready, he’ll look at you in such awe you can see the stars in his eyes

“w-wow…you look amazing (y/n)…”

granted he’s still a bit shy seeing you wear such revealing clothing swimsuits aside but he can’t deny how charming you look

definitely wants to see you wear it again but he’s too shy too admit that

zhongli

if he’s holding anything, do not be surprised if he drops them - not when you look drop dead gorgeous

he coughs and clears his throat, clearly struggling to form a coherent sentence. you can’t help but giggle a bit at his reaction

“you…you look very handsome, (y/n).”

now it’s your turn to stammer. so there you two are, stumbling over basic vocabulary and faces painted light red

he fiddles with his fingers, as if trying to hold back from hugging or spooning you; if you let him touch you, his hands are ever-so-gentle; you can tell he doesn’t want to accidentally touch any inappropriate spots

you two end up spending a nice time cuddling as he drops a compliment or an “i love you” every few minutes

if he wasn’t broke before, he definitely is now because he’s buying you more lingerie and you can’t stop him

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bloogers-boogers · 11 months

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I truly believe Kyle is a chubby chaser, the episode were he supposedly started ‘realizing’ (i still don’t believe he actually liked her like that) his feelings for Heidi she was already gaining weight, a chubby girl.

He’s into smart girls (rebecca) thats for a fact, cute (nichole; she’s smart but she was a new girl when Kyle asked her out so he didn’t know her like that), someone he can protect/help (Leslie) and lastly he’s shown to not care about a girl’s weight unlike *cough cough* Butters im still not over what he said to lisa boi got no filter (atleast he was honest ig)💀

Heidi had all those qualities! (Smart, cute, need protection/help and~ chubby)

You know who’s also smart? Cartman (he can be stupid and very ignorant in many things, but boi got brains when he sets a goal in mind)

Cute? Cartman (As much as we hate to admit it, the boy got that charming look, he literally manipulated chutulu with his ‘cuteness’)

Need of protection/help? Cartman (boy is messed up as it is, It’s obvious he needs help but he also needs someone to guide him in the right path/ be the one to give him that push for change (I’d say a ‘light push', but it’s gonna be a rough ride being fr here), but most importantly also someone he’ll actually listen; Kyle. Believe it or not Cartman does listen to Kyle and he also is the first Cartman looks firstly for reassurance (like in gluten free and in jewpacabra). Cartman never takes Kyle's word for granted.

We’ve seen Kyle protect him from snooki, save his ass by being frozen and drowned. (Kyle has a weak spot every time he sees a vulnerable Eric Cartman).

Chubby? Cartman (we all know he’s from a heavier scale than the rest of the boys but we’re shown Kyle doesn’t seem to care about that superficial stuff)

You cannot tell me most of the kids in that school aren’t shallow they literally have a table that separates the ugly kids from them. But Kyle has been shown to look into more in the depths of a person (getting to know them) things like that than superficial. Like the times the boys were complimenting the girls photoshop pictures and Kyle mentions about Annies eyes being beautiful while the others were talking about their physics.

These are all things Kyle is seen interested in a girl for what I gathered watching the show.

And we return to what i mean when I say Kyle is/possibly could be a chubby chaser. Theirs a trait about kids resembling their parents in some ways

Stan got addiction problems like his dad, he got them image/ego issues too, he actually kinda resembles Randy alot in the deep learning/ post covid episode/specials when it comes to his relationship with Wendy or his pessimistic attitude. I only conclude from this is that Wendy is Stan's 'Sharon' an Stan is Wendy's 'Randy'.

And it confirms for me with the last episode of season 26 when Randy calls Sharon cause he's just a wreck with out her, just like in the post covid special good ending Stan and Wendy meet up and seem to have a sorta thing still going on (she isn't even with that Darwin guy either, atleast he wasn't shown).

He’s very emotional and cares deeply for things that matter to him, he definitely got that from his mother (the school shooting ep we’re shown how emotionally wrecked sharon was bc of it but no one else seemed to care not even Stan himself, and just like with the whales no one else seem to care BUT Stan and that pissed him off)

Also, let's not shrug off the fact that Randy and Sharon marital problems have been a thing since the early seasons. There was points when they divorced/seperated two times (three house, assburgers episode), points were their marriage was on breaking points like with the shakeweight episode or times when we taught it'll be finally over between the two (when Randy was sent to jail) and in post covid good ending he's shown to still be apart of Stan's life and I wouldn't be surprised if both actually kept it together for this exact consistency.

Matt and Trey have a thing to keep adult parings with an interesting dynamics, it isn't all sweet and sugar coated, they tend to show these issues in many other marriages of sp aswell.

Like Kenny's parents (abusive alcoholics/ argue all the time), Butters (closeted man/ sad pyscho wife/ strict parents), Cartman's (single crack whore mom/ deadbeat absent dad (decease now)/ lonely and financially struggling while raising a psycho kid) and even Kyle's (asshole dad/ overbearing mother/ have intimacy issues).

Kenny, he resembles his parents, yes he does. The fact that he likes to get high (frustrated and gets angry/doesn't care, once his already influenced deep in it; cat piss, sexual healing ep) We've seen he's willing to push his friends aside when his already lost into that type of crap or cares little of what his family would go through once he technically kills himself for some 'great' orgasm or being giving a blow job (these are reasons for his curse ofcourse cause he knows he'll come back, but still, his addiction and attitude are still the same throughout the show) and is a porn addict (the magazines, and sexual knowledge he knows for his age).

We've seen these qualities in both his parents.

They don't care being seen drinking or taking crack, like Kenny who doesn't care to be seen by his friends getting high with cat piss. They're very oblivious/don't care about the worries their children go through when they get into it, Kenny doesn't care. I mean c'mon, once he was done with the cat piss he didn't learn his lesson there he straight up went to get high with some flowers infront of his already relieved friends back to square one getting them concerned again.

I suppose we could say he got addiction problems just like Stan, but in a different way. Stan's more of a genetic thing because of his family history/ depression. Kenny on the other side is more of the shitty household he lives in, a copping mechanism.

And Cartman resembles his mom in the artistic side. We're shown that both Liane and Cartman love to sing, Liane also likes to paint. Cartman is more of a photography lover, drawing, singing, song writer, instruments (violin, harmonica) these are all artistic qualities.

Liane is manipulative with the magic of pampering and food. Cartman is manipulative with a sugarcoating voice and has skill on knowing what would get somebody convinced.

And I have a suspicion that Jack Tenorman was some narcissistic lying bastard okay? If he cheated on his wife and was willing to lie about his true identity to his sad desperate son who just wanted to know who his dad was just for a broncos game, then he ain't good.

I'm gonna mention these, just cause these are the few couples I recall being shown in the show.

Tweeks; they're coffee addicts/ seem to be caring and understanding (sorta). (He's very emotional/caring, and a very stressful/nervous kid because of his anxiety/coffee addiction)

Tuckers; they got that same 'I don't give a fuck' attitude literally flipping themselves off at the table. (Craig definitely resembles his dad the most, and in post covid his appearance aswell)

Blacks; they're chill people don't seem to want to get into much trouble. (Tolkien doesn't like to get into conflicts he'd rather chill on the sidelines)

Donovans; dad is passive, while his mother was a little overbearing. (Clyde can be passive/emotional on times but they're times he goes overboard like in the stick of truth game)

Now, with that said, it's Kyle's turn. We've been countless times reminded how Kyle resembles his mother the most. But when it comes to Gerald were only told that he looks like him. Atleast I don't recall anything else.

Kyle's parents are very opened when it comes to talking, experimenting. Have you seen how Sheila always ready to talk to Kyle about things he doesn't know? Or how comfortable she is talking to Gerald freely, that even Gerald had admitted to her that he likes to watch porn on his computer? How Gerald let Sheila have her way with chef (chef aid ep.)

It's shown their relationship is the strongest/ got their shit together among the four main parents. But ofcourse it's not perfect.

Gerald has this fear of pissing off Sheila, and Sheila well, as much as she's a good mother. She's overbearing and can go all crazy.

Qualities Kyle has. He fears his mom's wrath but also is the most similar to her.

He isn't like his dad who's some manipulative asshole behind his wife's back. Kyle's caring and wants what's right but has a temper so he kinda goes overboard and messes up sometimes.

This is were I come to the conclusion, that he may resemble Gerald in the fact that his in love with someone many wouldn't choose.

Like in the ups episode there was a ongoing joke that 'damn someone was willing to do it with Kyle's mom' type of joke.

Kyle's mom is overweight so the joke could be mostly aim from there, but if you think of it clearly. Many are afraid of pissing her off because of her 'bitchy' attitude. And she also has a past of being well, from Jersey.

Now. She's overweight in both that time and now, and I wouldn't be surprised that in the times we're she lived in jersey she was a complete bitch by the picture were shown in a jersey thing episode. She seem disastrous back then.

So meeting Gerald changed her. Gerald fell in love even when she was like that; a 'jersey monster'. They moved to South park and got away from that place, and Sheila has mellowed down from those jersey genes. I have no doubt he probably found that personality hot and thrilling at the time, he probably likes that sorta thing tbh. I feel like Gerald was a dweeb back in those college years, focusing on his carrier and stuff, taking things serious, being very uptight in a sense. Something I feel Sheila would be interested in, someone different, opposite of her. Cause we know she didn’t like that jersey in her but she couldn’t help it and being around other jersey folks just worsen her so it was inevitable for Gerald to stand out from the crowd. He was different. And for Gerald she was different; probably not the type of girl he’d pictured himself being with, yet still did.

(I also hc Sheila not being Jewish she was Christian until she met Gerald and got a wider view/ got closer to the religion falling in love with it.)

Being drawn to each other like opposite magnets.

And well, that redhead with brunette theory going on if u know you know;)

I feel I can resemble this with Kyle and Cartman. Cartman is disastrous, he’s a mess. And somehow Kyle's drawn to it, Cartman is a person not many would choose but I feel Kyle would. He’ll fall in love with both crazy Cartman and redeemed Cartman, cause i genuinely cant see anyone else help Cartman actually change for the better that isn’t Kyle (atleast to get a good ending for all main 4).

Cartman has also been shown to be in a mixture of being confused/ conflicted on what to believe when it comes to religion; switching between Chatolic, Christianity and Judaism it's been like that through the course of the show. Out of the four it's him and Kyle who are only shown to question their religion/ beliefs. It kinda feels like the show is trying to imply something?

And i also don’t picture their relationship to be all cute, it’s a well balanced relationship between healthy and toxic. If that makes sense?

Kinda like Gerald and Sheila’s, they’re not perfect but they balance each other out and yet even with those imperfections they’re still so in love with each other.

They also make a good dynamic.

Qualities i see a kyman relationship being.

Its funny to see Sheila being a bitch just like it’s funny to see Kyle be all pissy. Gerald is an manipulative ass? Guess who’s also a way worse manipulative asshole, yet still funny af and brings humor to the show? Cartman

It's funny to see Gerald be scared shitless of his wife just as funny when we see how scared Cartman is to actually piss Kyle off.

Kyle and Cartman are the perfect mixture of both.

But in personalities; Kyle his mother and Cartman Kyle's dad. Atleast relationship wise and how I feel the pairing dynamics work.

Cartman being Kyle's "Gerald" and Kyle being Cartman's "Sheila".

Technically the main dads (main fours) are the boys insight of what could be of their future partners, atleast that's how I view both Randy and Gerald's similarity on to Stan and Kyle (who are the main boys): both best friends, have a respective partner (Sharon, Sheila) along their side and fathers (Stan and Shelley, Kyle and Ike).

Post covid good ending gave me some more fuel to this about how Kyle only had TWO children; one boy being the eldest and a little sibling while Cartman had three instead of going full on stealing Cartman's past family. Gerald also had two children Kyle was the eldest son a boy and had a little sibling and I have no doubt if Stan were to get with Wendy they'll have two children aswell; their first born being a girl too like Shelley and a little brother like Stan.

Anyways my mind is kinda on a brainrot rn I need help, this ship is gonna end me

I just don’t see a good all flowers and rainbows actual healthy relationship in south park universe. Not only isn’t it realistic but it isn’t the type of dynamic i believe matt and trey would aim for.

If it isn’t either good/ but kinda chaotic sometimes or it’s nothing but down bad toxic/ bland/ has no real attachment to the characters.

Even creek has had their fair share of course they’re not toxic but like in the buda box theres some small ups and downs yk. I feel like some personal space would be the issue here cause Craig seems to not always want to deal with tweek's shit. But yk that’s just Craig not knowing how to establish it. (Yet their relationship has no affect in the course of the show/ main four dynamic)

Stendy relationship has communication issues. (Has no affect in the sidelines)

Clybe relationship has more of a complicated label. Bebe using Clyde for shoes or Clyde being an uncaring asshole using ai for convos. (Has no effect in the show/ main four)

Kennys relationships are only seem to last little but kinda okay until Kenny wants to escalate things further while the girl’s completely oblivious about it. (Has no effect in the sidelines/ use as a joke)

I think butters relationship with Charlotte is fine until Butters misogynistic side comes out. (No affect in the sidelines)

Heiman relationship was a toxic relationship. (Did have an affect on the show/ main four dynamic; Kyle) there was a lot of shifts in Cartman's personality that it was just painful to keep watching for both Heidi and Cartman.

Kyman relationship wouldn’t be just a neat-o relationship, i see it being very flexible in that aspect and I don’t see it changing their dynamic between the two or the main four. Cartman also wouldn’t change for the sake of keeping a relationship he’d actually change for good reasons. Having someone who already knows him wont make him feel like he’s cornered or forced to change/lie about being a good person, but being around a good influence (kinda) in his life could shape him in different ways. Healthy in a sense.

Their relationship could be use in a humorous way and a serious one!

#south park #eric cartman #kyle brovlofski #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #kyman #sp kyman #random shit post ☆#i hate myself for this i wasn't in my right mind writing this down srry💀#i guess technically he isn’t into chubby girls but more into someone whose opposed to him he's attracted towards #lmao this rant went everywhere to absolutely nothing 😂

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