#I've thought of doing rambles like these for a while now

[hai7ani]

familiar / haitani rindou

Haitani Rindou turns 32, gets married, and he silently wonders why people are so nice to him now.

the old retired ladies promoting milk powders and selling fresh fruits in the grocery store rushes up to him at any chance they get. one time when browsing for milk formulas one of them had tapped him on the shoulder, pointed at a brand she was not promoting for but thought was amazing when her own grandchild had tried it, and then placed a bunch of other stuff in his cart that she thinks his wife would need. an example would be containers of freshly cut mixed fruits that her colleague had just prepared. you remember him telling you that her tone was a lot more different than the average grocery store promoter trying to sell you a product ー it was almost as if she was talking to her own son.

when shopping for flowers just like he does every Sunday suddenly the part-timer who is usually silent, does her job and only responds to customers' needs had stepped up to him and pointed out a few selections that she believes are lovely for expecting parents. she was even smiling when doing so. and you remember he came home to you that day with two bouquets of fresh flowers ー chrysanthemum and baby's breath ー one in each hand.

today when taking you out for dinner in the local family-owned restaurant the daughter had served you a warm bowl of beef bone soup. neither of you had ordered it for yourselves, and you were about to tell her that, but her mother speaks before you can. "drink it, love. the soup is good for you." she yells a little from where she sits at the cashier with a grin. when Rindou stands to pay after finishing up her husband then refuses to take your bill for the night. "it's okay, son. dinner's on the house this time." he pats his shoulder and pushes you both out the door. "take care, you two. the next time you come i'll cook tofu for you, alright?" it was directed to you and you'd laughed, a little embarrassed but feeling warm and fuzzy nonetheless.

and now you are listening to your own husband ramble on and on about his new mysteries while he massages your feet on the couch.

"i seriously don't get it. i've been going to these places for years now and they were never this nice to us. i mean, they are nice, but never this nice, you know? it's the first time we've ever gotten a free meal from Kobayashi's."

we. us.

you brush his hair back, admiring the light wrinkles that have started to form on his skin. "that's exactly it, don't you think?" you bring it up and he hums in confusion.

"perhaps the reason why they've been so nice lately is exactly because you've been going to these places for years now. they know you."

"huh?"

"if you think about it, they've watched you go from an ordinary man to a husband, then a father. watched you bring a girl they've never seen before to these places more often and suddenly we go together all the time, you have a ring on your finger and i am pregnant. perhaps it is why. a sense of familiarity, maybe?"

Rindou looks at you as if you are love and warmth and everything pink and red and blue and purple and-

you are right, actually. you'd went from a girl he met at a bar to becoming the love of his life, the woman who is now carrying the love you both share. and the ladies at the grocery store, the Kobayashi's, the part timer who's been around even after graduating university years ago? they've all watched him grow.

when Rindou was 17 and had gotten ambushed by a rival gang alone, it was madam Kobayashi who'd ushered him into their store way past the last call and offered to cook him a nice meal, had her medical student son patch him up, her husband to chase away the remaining guys who were waiting for Rindou to come back out. her daughter had been about Rindou's age then, hiding behind the cashier and watching as he ate in silence with a cut to his lip, another on his eyebrow. (to this day still no one except for you, her, and him, knows that the reason he'd gotten ambushed that day was because he'd stood up for miss Kobayashi when she was getting bullied by one of the delinquents. she still thanks him for what he'd done whenever you both finish up your meal and get ready to leave.) Rindou was 17 when he'd first discovered what it was like to care for people; to be a human before anything else.

the two ladies from the grocery store wasn't yet retired and working this job back then. the promoter lady used to be the janitor who was working in the office building of his first job. she'd watched him gone through periods of unknowing, confusion, stress, to become a solid man of status today. the lady who is selling fruits used to work as a professional tutor and had been the one to tutor Rindou and his brother on Mathematics. although she is mute and can't respond in words when her students have confusing questions to ask, the brothers still thought of her as a good teacher because of the way she taught, which is why they'd stuck around and refused to switch teachers despite their parents' disapproval. because she is mute, she can only count on her colleague to dump containers of freshly cut fruits into his cart while motioning for her to tell him things that she actually wants to say to him whenever he visits the store.

the part timer at the florist is a lot younger than he is, but she have been working there for a very long time. watched him when he was still an inexperienced bachelor pacing around the store wondering which flower would be good on a first date to buying the same flowers every Sunday because you'd liked the lilies that she recommended.

it'd be heartwarming for anyone to see the boy you watch grow around love, into love, finding love, to marrying her and becoming a father.

"...yeah. maybe."

#寫作 #rindou x reader #rindou haitani x reader #haitani rindou x reader #rindou haitani #haitani rindou #tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tokrev x reader #tr x reader #tokyo revengers fluff

[valsdelulucorner]

LOVE THE MERMAID AU FOR OBEY ME

Love em so much 🥹

Idk what to even ask about or say to be honest. my brain turns so empty when i get in the ask box haha 😅

If your asks and stuff are open then Uhmmmmmmmm i think maybe.... ... If you're not taking requests then don't worry about this! I love your stuff and also i get that burnout and needing a break from social media stuff is a thing!

Also i genuinely can't think right now... I kinda hoped that if i kept typing I'd come up with something, kinda like how sometimes rambles help with word flow but eh hhhhh.

I definitely like mermaid au obey me stuff.... And i like making arts and crafts... So maybe reactions to reader making lil stuff from either the island or shipwrecks for the mer brothers?

Also I definitely want you to know i love your stuff and i really liked your Rook Hunt drawing and i LOVE THE MERMAID AU and I'll be back if i come up with anything to say (can't tell you how long i spent just typing random words and rambling and then deleting them trying to get my thoughts and words to flow 😅 I'm so tired)

please, this made me cry😭 you are so sweet, i really do appreciate this. I've been through abit of a rough patch with college so this just made me feel better<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mer-brothers with a artsy MC

Ever since MC got stranded on the island and made friends with 7 mer-folk, they found out there wasn't much to do whenever they were alone and away from the brothers. So one day, MC decided to entertain themselves by going exploring, heading deep into the forest in the middle of the island only to find some players, a messy journal, a surprisingly dry pencil, a few little things of paint mixer, a sharp poking tool, and a whole box of un-rusted wire.

MC was over the moon after finding the box of supplies, eagerly taking it back to the cove through the land entrance. The brothers were just coming back from a bountiful hunt out near the reefs, each bringing in some sort of edible sea creature behind them. Mammon was the first to notice you fiddling with a box of stuff and left his meal in his designated pool, the fins on the end of his tail hiding it from a hungry beel.

His head was tilted in confusion as you fussed over a ratty looking box, wasn't the sparkly treasure chest he brought back to the cove not good enough that you had to resort to a old wooden crate? It wasn't until caught a glimpse of you already starting to bend and twist the wire that he started to get more curious, hauling himself up onto the rock and crawling over to you.

The others only notice this when they hear mammon start to stutter out words, looking over to see you holding his wrist and hand while holding the wire carefully for measurements. It doesn't take long until they are all up on the rock near your little box to investigate what you are doing, all of them asking questions here and there while you bend and twist the wire to fix around Mammons wrist comfortable. It was this moment that opened up a lot more opportunities to keep yourself entertained when the brothers where away.

The brothers would come back and randomly find little rocks painted with home made paint you made with random crushed materials mixed with paint mixer. They would find little charms, necklaces, rings, piercings and bracelets you made on your little ledge inside the cove. As much as they would like to look at your drawings, they would have to wait for their hands to dry before touching the paper.

It was when they found out you carved a little whale out of whale bone with a sharp rock where they started to try and find more arty supplies for you whenever they go out and hunt. They love seeing your little creations, they would be even more amazed if you made them a little piece for them to keep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucifer- He gets some cute little waist jewelry from you made from pearls, rope, and small bits of wire. He enjoys it because it helps keeps up his waist cloth like a belt, plus it makes his waist nicer. He thanked you for it and was pleasantly surprised when it kept his waist cloth up

Mammon- He was the jewelry tester so he got a lot of piercings and waist jewelry out of wire and treasures he finds. He constantly wears your little creations and even brings you little gems and treasure he finds pretty, risking it for you to make some more jewlery

Leviathan- He gets a little bracelet made of wire, shell, and little gems which complements his Ruri Chan bracelet that he found. His face turned beat red when you gave it to him, he hasn't taken it off yet

Satan- He gets some fin jewelry made from pure wire, with just one or two little green gems mammon found for you to use. The pieces fit perfectly on his sharp fins and was probably the longest you've spent on a piece for someone. He smiled softly when you were taking the measurements, he looks beautiful yet deadly

Asmodeus- He got a little necklace made from whale bone, rope, and pearls, and cute little pink gems. You carved a little flower from the whale bone and used the pink gem for the middle of it, the pearls mixed in and intertwined with the rope. Squealed when he saw it, he loved it so much and had you help him put it on

Beelezubub- You made a little tail charm for him made out of rope and shell (giving surfer dude), little pieces of wire mixed into it to make sure the shell stays on. He smiled as he now matched with belphie with the tail charm, and it doesn't get in the way of hunting so he loves it

Belphegor- You made him a necklace made out of the same material as Beels tail charm, the shells being purple instead of a orangey brown colour. He didn't realize you put the necklace on him at first until he went out hunting with beel, smiling softly as his precious new necklace caught him easy prey

Overall, they love to see your little creations and how they decorate the little cove they call home. How glad they were that Lucifer saved you that day and brought you to the island

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love getting requests like this, its just so sweet<3 This was so fun to write about, i loved the Idea of arty MC. Sorry this fell more into wire crafts and jewelry, my friend has been showing me some really cool earrings and they became a big inspo

What should I do next?

#valsdelulucorner #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me hcs #obey me headcanons #vals interactive fics #obey me x y/n #obey me x you #obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me imagines #obey me mc #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon x mc #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi x reader #obey me satan x mc #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo x reader #obey me beel #obey me beel x reader #obey me belphie x reader #obey me belphie #obey me mermaid au

[duckiemimi]

jjk 261 leaks

i'm gonna ramble a bit here idk if it'll make sense.

i've always been the biggest advocate of not viewing things black and white in jjk, meaning everything is understandable from the readers' point of view, BUT that doesn't mean that the story itself doesn't have distinct boundaries between what's "good" and "bad" in the narrative. take geto, for example. great character, you can't help but like him, but even then you know he's an antagonist for a reason. the narrative says so, even the characters say so. there's a running theme in jjk where every antagonist (and antagonist-adjacent) character is motivated to control other people's bodies—geto and non-sorcerers (to a lesser extent), kenjaku and his CT, mahito and his CT, sukuna needing to have a host, etc. kenjaku, for the most part, has always been our point of reference when we talk about evil in the story. which is why it's so jarring to see yuuta, of all people, resort to the same thing. for the greater good? okay, let's talk about the do or die of the greater good in jjk.

the greater good in this arc is to stop sukuna to save humanity. but even then, this cause has always been eclipsed by less righteous, personal reasons, like wanting to save megumi, or wanting to fight sukuna. those are the reasons pushed for readers to see, to care about. while understandable (they are human, after all), compared to its contemporaries, jjk isn't really a manga where characters sacrifice their morals for the greater good. in fact (i've mentioned this once), for a structured organization with the goal to protect humanity, humanity itself isn't of much importance in the narrative. the story has always centered around the sorcerers. but that aside, in times of despair (like yuuji in shibuya), they've always shown remorse and regret for the things that they cannot control, hesitation. while there is no altruistic character in the series, no one has ever wanted or willingly suggested anything aligned with puppeteering. (why would they? isn't the cog mentality something we're trying to move past, especially with the machine now destroyed?)

to have yuuta be the first to suggest a plan like this is...jarring. from what's written, sure we can accredit it to his love and understanding for his teacher, but yuuta knows what happened to geto. the cast has seen what kenjaku can do and has done. you could say that yuuta has a history with control (rika, in a way), but i like to think that he's grown since volume 0. could this be a desperate last resort by a panicked child? yeah, maybe. but it barely reads that way. there are too many interpretations to call it that, it isn't convincing enough. this is also the first time we've ever seen gojo referred to as a "monster," despite being untouchable and revered as god-like throughout the manga. there are some panels earlier in the series of the cast being asked what gojo is to them, and most people answered that he's the strongest alone. i don't recall yuuta being asked, so maybe he's thought of this concept of "monstrosity" for a while, but it would've built up better if we were shown some sympathetic sentiments from him prior to this chapter. it would've tied everything together well. alas. thanks for the off-screen growths, timeskip.

while for different reasons (does the end justify the means in this story? what about geto?), the fact of the matter is yuuta has adopted kenjaku's methodology for the greater good. what does that mean for jjk's alignment and ideology? could this be commentary on the dreariness of teeth-gritting reality? maybe. i think this chapter alone has ultimately changed what morality means in the bigger story. after all, it's practically a lawless land right now with everything destroyed. but what kind of message will we end with? is there something that needs to be said, or is there nothing at all?

#jjk #jjk 261 #jjk leaks #jjk spoilers #jujutsu kaisen #there were some people telling me that life isn't black and white and yea i know that 😭 #but in a story? it's anything you make it to be. what's gege doing then? #i wonder if my opinion will change next week

[terriblepersongreatseamonster]

(Please bear with me through this forthcoming ramble, because I've had all of 6 hours of sleep in the last two days and I'm a bit all over the place. Hopefully this will be coherent 😅)

I don't watch Bridgerton (that's a whole other post that I don't feel like typing out write now), but I've been fascinated by what I've seen on here from this newest season.

I turn 40 this year, and depending on your age you either think that's getting old or you think that I'm still relatively young. I bring this up, because what I'm seeing about Penelope and Colin is honestly something that I never thought I'd see.

Since I was twelve, I've dealt with weight issues. (At this point in my life, I know it's due to PCOS and some other health issues). I am barely 5'0" and typically fit into the 18/20 size clothes.

Being a teen in the late 90s/early 00s meant I didn't see people who looked like me get to be the romantic lead. Girls who looked like me were relegated to being the funny, supportive friend in the background. We got bullied and reminded that we weren't worthy of love or success because of our size. We went to school dances alone and sat on the bleachers while our friends slow-danced with their dates. We didn't get the love story, we got to watch someone else have the love story.

For such a long time I believed that my value as a person was tied to my weight. No matter what I did the weight wouldn't budge. Hell, I'm on Ozempic for my diabetes and I'm starting to think I'm the only person on the planet it doesn't cause weight loss for (it does however do a marvelous job of controlling my blood sugar, and at this point a healthy A1C is the thing that matters most).

I went on a few dates in my 20s with men who used my size as their reason to not continue dating (and yes, they all knew my size when they asked me out). When I started dating my husband, I went into it fully anticipating that no matter how much fun we might have he wouldn't be able to see past my size. I was wrong, and am so grateful for that.

It was only about 2 years ago that I started learning to see that I was far more than my weight. That whether I was my current size or managed to somehow be 100 lbs lighter, I'd still be the same person on the inside. I'd still have the same talents and skills, the same personality and humor. And while I've grown to see & love myself for who I am, it's still a day-by-day thing that I struggle with.

So, seeing this:

And this:

It hits me in a way that is hard to explain. I never thought I'd get to see something like this. Never thought I'd get to see someone my size and shape shown as beautiful and desirable.

Look at this woman, she is absolutely lovely:

I don't really know how to end this because now I'm crying. I guess my main point is that I feel seen and it's been an emotional rollercoaster.

And I may have to turn Netflix back on so I can see this season 😅

#bridgerton #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #colin x penelope #thoughts from a plus-size girl #it's surreal #I am more than my weight #representation matters #type 2 diabetes

[grokebaby]

Vision vs finished product

Hell's high judgements

(this is just me rambling about my initial ideas and process for their character designs)

Tw for a(n image of a) sort of veiny eyeball creature (okhula from fran bow)

Delilah - I think pretty early on, like almost from the start I decided to have her be Deirdre's sister so i already had some footing and reference to go off of for her design. Tho it's possible that at some point in the hazy beginning I hadn't thought of that yet but nonetheless my image of her was some kind of large horned demon. I may have pictured the character as more masculine, or at least not a woman initially but I think that changed really quickly bc like I said she became Deirdre's sister pretty much upon conception. Her initial idea wasn't very different from what we ended up with, my first vision was just a vague, tall, intimidating looking demon who had like their head mysteriously in the shadow and the only way you could tell where the face is was thanks to her glowing horns. Her first vision was more of an aesthetic and a vibe bc being one of twins, she was very easy to design from then on. I also pretty much immediately knew I wanted her to be heavily scarred, particularly on the face, but it took me a bit to figure out how, specifically. I think at first I thought of her missing even more eyes than she is now. Her designing had a clumsy first few steps but it wasn't difficult to settle on. What ended up being difficult was redrawing her at all lmao, I still feel like i do her disservice every other time I draw her ;-; Idk why she's so hard for me to make look decent bc she's not intended to look off-putting or anything like some of my designs intentionally are. Aside from struggling to learn to draw her, it was pretty straightforward. I would say I'm pleased w the final product if I was confident in how I draw her but as of rn I feel like the problem is more me than the design lol :')

Hart - My idea was an indistinguishable mass of eldritchean tentacles, sprinkle in some eyes and whatever extra freaky stuff and yeah. The final product ended up having alot more distinguishing features bc originally I had them be like, an actual black blob. Void with eyes. Like those black cats you only see when they open their eyes. My idea did develop a little from there and I thought of adding onto the "What is this" factor by having them sort of resemble having a legit body structure but twisted and twirled into such knots that it'd be impossible to tell where everything was actually meant to be. Like just, the most tangled uncanny mess. It had this kind of theme, an idea of being folded into itself and having multiple parts that could open and be straightened out and it'd be like this interesting thing w Hart looking a bit different when they're actually completely unfolded. Sort of like how hedgehogs are just spike balls when in defense mode, but w a Lovecraftian horror who is maddeningly dizzying to interpret. Just a weird, uncanny, what am I looking at creature, of resembling body parts that actually aren't those body parts but just placed and knotted to look like them. I'm not sure if I achieved that vibe, tbh the final product looks more like just a generic Tentacle monster with a flavor of Toothless from how to train your dragon but hey. It looks charming and expressive and I'm fine w that :]

Xerxes - He's probably the most visually different from the first idea. I actually actively challenged myself w him, particularly to diverge from the very first idea somehow and do something a little different. Only thing that stayed constant, and the thing I knew I wanted for him from the start, was One Eye. And look at that, he still only has one eye. Technically. My very first visual was this sort of weird.. This. I wasn't sure how else to describe it

Like, that, but just very muscular lol. This sort of. Muscle eyeball demon. Kinda grotesque looking now that I think about it but it felt fitting for a hell demon or Wrath. Just a massive eye. My idea evolved slightly into like an orc or a cyclops after that but this is where I diverged to challenge myself and I thought maybe it could be some beastly looking animal, closer to a minotaur or some animal warrior you'd find in an mmorpg, stuff like that. Initially I had Xerxes be quadrupedal tho, like a feral animal, but still be sentient and demonic somehow. I wanted him to look really fierce and I designed armor and really heavy chains around his neck. I did really like the chains aesthetic but I decided instantly that I WILL NOT be drawing chains that often no sir! When I made him more centaur in body structure I still kept him like, a cyclops for a little while until I decided he could just have battle scars and just lost the other eye. I actually had him resemble a boar at first, I'm not sure when he shifted to being a bull. I could be remembering this part wrong too but I just remember trying to practice drawing a very fierce looking (herbivore) animal. I specifically wanted him to not be a predator animal ykno. I felt like a lion or something would've been too generic or predictable and I wanted some practice, and hey, I've since become pretty attached to bulls specifically. Apparently. Which is neat I think, not sure why I'm so fond of them but I sure am now. Thanks Xerxes. From then on he's mostly evolved to just look more, uh, Idk, better represented as the animal he is? I just know I was poor at drawing bovines and similar animals way back then but have since gotten notably better so I think Xerxes looks amazing these days. I didn't struggle learning to draw him nearly as much as Delilah, he was actually fairly easy bc I proceeded to draw him a fair amount once I really learned him. But like I said I've gotten practice and improved in things like drawing buff people since then so, the final product is great, even though I draw his armor way, way less lol. I'm not that great w armor and besides, I don't draw him in battle all that often..

#my thoughts #my ocs #Character notes #Character design #Delilah #Xerxes #Hart #Design process #Demon oc #I've thought of doing rambles like these for a while now #I may do more on other characters

[averlym]

ghostwriter (their grandma would tell them she'd lose half her soul)

#or smth smth. having a lot of Thoughts. anyways here's the piece i've been working on and sometimes u have to just say Done #there's a lot of thinks but i am maybe a bit tired and so tmr i'll come in and add all the Tags that i'd personally want to get from myself #maybe i'll reblog the extras tmr too. this is an incredibly self indulgent piece + it probably deserves a tag ramble essay or smth #ig for now we see how it stands for itself + in the meantime: #adamandi #beatrix valeria campbell #hello!! i'm back with belated tags yippee!! alright so for funsies i'm going to make it sound like i'm going bonkers over this :3 #the eye shine... the glowy eye... it's like phaethon shine but also smth about eyes to windows to the soul and like #there's two beatrixes here! half the soul. lost part doing things specific to the phaethon and here it's portrayed as tearing off her name #because that's really; truly; when it all starts!! also notable for the ghostly beatrix is i did it more painterly and cloaked in shadow and #fading into the bg. i think i was super duper specificish about where the glow comes from! front lighting back lighting beloved!!! like help #let's put it this way- beatrix face always glowy. important parts of paper also glowy. it's just that different elements are turned away #from the viewer by each beatrix!! also also. let's talk about the very gently implied blood and red etcetera #like the red string is canonical and i love personally the whole red strings of fate thing even though it's not Here Applicable exactly but #that definitely was an influence! and also the blood in the bg... i'm starting to think this is a recurring trend. but anyway shadowy bea #the other strings hang while the red string loops!! so like that one string feels almost alive. it's a sort of whimsical i put on the same #as metaphorical glowy eye!! also also the eye is lowkey influenced by the whole idea of Eyes and Spotlights within the show and also glow #as in power as in heyyy you ever think about writing as a visual medium huh #speaking of writing!! there is no beatrix thingy complete in my head without text sorrry but the black text overlays are always so >>> to me #and in the sense of art styles and overlays shoutout to all the black crosshatching outline thingys because For Some Reason in my mind #of all the characters beatrix feels like the bnw ink printed illustrations you get in books idk #fun fact! i spent so long rendering this and that was fine i liked it! but then trying to figure out text to go on the papers was a Thing #i tried to do. but then gave up on! sometimes i have to pick my battles and graphic design is indubitably Not my passion bc Fonts #fun facts about this is i Actually did start with a quick sketch in mind and there's been so many changed elements. in the og the front #paper for instance had 'ardess murders' written on it and the back one said phaethon interviews.. i like the nominee list better it feels #more narrative-esque and less passive than her just holding her writing.! other elements that got discontinued were that #front beatrix was supposed to blur into the other ghostly beatrix but i couldn't do it without sacrificing clarity so... no... no blurry #oh and the red string morphing at the ends to smth more abstract was always there from the start!! og had more floating papers #and also a silhouette of vincent and a scalpel bc 'one who pulls the strings' but that (pun intended)! got cut (hahahahahahaha) (sorry) #used also to be a lot of print room clutter but that got cut to bc compositionally i made beatrix larger (learned lesson from last art)

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

new oc ask game idea: make a collage of all your oc’s you want and then people can screenshot them from the collage and send in asks about stuff they wanna know about them

#knox rambles #silly idea i came up with cause i just spend a bit making a #collage of my monkie kid ocs so i could look at them all #I have like fifteen or sixteen of them #and like #two of them interact with the actual cast of the show and the rest of them are just standing thereNG;LAKWMEF in their own thing JHGLKSDJF #i have quite a few oc's now guys all i've been doing during my break is oc stuffHGLSDFJD #Me: oh i'll probably do some actual monkie kid content while i'm taking a break #Me: [does only oc stuff for months] #Me: w H O O PS #I think i'm too much of a coward to actually post about them but #thought i'd share the idea of the collage thing anyway for fun

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt spiraling upwards side characters again. Charredpelt my absolute beloved

#rat rambles #spiraling upwards #warriors posting #girlies who are trying so soooo hard to support womens wrongs but the wrongs are that their wife is cheating on them #and now she cant even get closure cause said wife is dead along with the man she cheated on her for #like charredpelt isnt stupid she knows these cats too well but thats exactly why she keeps to this day justifying them to herself #all while living as the sole parent to their children #the worst part is that if she had just been properly talked to abt it first she probably would have been ok with it #but she wasnt. she didnt even get the choice to set up boundaries #for the record shes my favorite cragclan cat and has been since she came out as trans lol #shout out to daisystar tho my boy is so cute and also so messed up <3 #and egretpaw and furzepaw ofc get honerable mentions but theyre main characters so ofc I've thought a lot abt them #but yeah for cragclan I deliberately chose out cats I hoped would kill eachother and instead they just got into a bunch of love traingles #and then I made eagle clan with the same goal with a bloodthirsty deputy but then conestar just loved everyone and was loved by everyone #hell the one cat who disliked her at first is her wife now girlie is just sitting here loving her wife and family #I honestly couldn't tell you who my favorites in any other clan is tbh #I do adore most of elmclan but I cant say theres anyone I like that much more than everyone else #like honeystar is definitely the one who caught my attention first due to her hashtag trauma playing out in real time right away #but also thistlepeak and whimsygoose are sooooo silly I love them quiet kitty and their loud rude kitty husband #oh and also pumpkin shes not that deep of a character I just think shes cute #for eagleclan I cannot lie to you I barely remember anyone in there atm but I do love conestar shes so silly #and minkclan is another hard one caus they're the first one I made so I have a lot of love for basically all of them #but blazebelly was my og favorite shes like charredpelt but instead of having a wife cheating on her it never got past a one sided crush #and lightnip is also a current fave of mine shes so mean I love her #ratstar has always been one of my favorites of all the clans tho shes just so silly and incompetent #and shout out to nightfur for being the only cat I've ever seen generate with romantic feelings towards a cat #it was for my default dead cat raincinder who is also a shitty asshole but that just means nightfur is tragic now <3 #oh yeah I should probably provide more exicit context on the clangen stuff huh #basically I made the four main clans in clangen and used the gameplay as a skeleton for backstory and worlduilding #building off of premade characters and concepts has always been one of my favorite things (as seen by how many randomized aus Ive done)

[daz4i]

my god I'm never going back on ssris ever again. god bless

#like they've never been too good for me but now that I'm on smth else entirely i can so obviously see how bad they were lol #like. i can enjoy music again. i can WRITE. i want to do things other than stare at a screen. wow. #and it's funny that i describe it and it's like. just depression symptoms lol. and yeah!!!! they just made it worse!!!!!! #when i was a teen on ssri (+mood stabilizers) i was functioning but my god was i just a husk of a person lol #and i was also shiiiiiit like my therapist pointed out after i got off them that i was still suicidal through it all lol #and yeah . i also self harmed while on them even more than when i got off #they just make you so numb it's like the only way to feel something lol #obviously ik it's not a universal thing. my brain is just a mess so commonly helpful meds make it even worse lol #long story short glad I'm not on them anymore. and these new meds are. fine. helpful up until certain points. idk. #this is just a ramble bc I've got no one to talk to rn other than my cat so. suffer through my thoughts. sorry 😘

[kyouka-supremacy]

Uhm

#I'm feeling like trash physically I really don't know what to do??? #I have been struggling so much with eating recently but I thought it was normal because of the upcoming exam y'know? #Well yesterday I took the exam and yet the problem??? Didn't magically disappear like I thought??? And now I feel so betrayed?????? #Yesterday I got takeaway at my favorite Chinese restaurant and that's a cup of noodles and eight dumplings #that's my usual order I always take‚ normally that's one meal #This time it took me?? Three meals to finish it??? Because after a while I just feel too nauseous to keep eating???????? #So like. something is wrong™ but I really have no clue what it is or how to fix it... #Plus the entire day I've felt like crying for. no reason lmao. I'm literally crying right now and I have no idea why is that #I can't reason anything that is making me upset currently? So I'm there mentally looking at myself like *awkward monkey meme* #And my head hurts. Like something is wrong but I really can't tell what it is nnnggghhhh this is. not optimal #The worst part is that I feel so nauseous I can't imagine bringing myself to cook because cooking is already a tool alone #and now I'm also supposed to cook when I don't want to eat???? Like how can I convince myself to do that #But obviously I can't stop eating. Alas I STRUGGLE. The food in the fridge is going bad 😭😭😭 #I made sure to change air in my room and I took a shower today so. I don't know what could be causing it really #Anyways if anyone can advice on eating when the thought of eating alone makes you feel nauseous I'll gratefully take it 😭😭 #Not even snacks work btw I was eating nutella and pandoro and who wouldn't love nutella and pandoro #and yet I felt like gagging the whole time... Ugh #The actual worst part is that like this I don't have the strength to study but I really need to study for this huge exam the 14th #random rambles #eating disoder trigger warning #Why is that the recommend tag?? It's missing an r bestie???? #eating disorder trigger warning #eating disorder tw #←← That makes it sound bigger than what it is please don't worry about me it's just a temporary issue!! #Using the tags just in case for blacklisting purposes

[wrecking]

edit: i ended up just ranting abt like the current vibe™ in the tags... sorry abt that but like also whatever i don't care anymore

#d #my food therapist really said the most real thing on planet earth when she said i'm meeting me at the same time everyone else is #i feel like a cringey overzealous emotionally dumb teenager who's a total embarrassment to everyone around me while i'm trying 2 say fuck i #cuz like this is the first time in my entire life i feel like i get to actually explore my identity and do like normal young people things #and i feel just. so so exposed in the sense that everyone is watching me make a fool of myself without a single shred of self-awareness #and it makes me so fucking mad cuz like i'm finally happy with myself!! i'm finally starting to feel like a fully formed person #instead of a 2d projection or an object or something monstrous hiding in the shadows because that's how i've spent until now imo #and like. it's hard to emotionally make peace with the fact things in my social life are changing because like. there's some part of me #that thinks that maybe if i stayed in that miserable place that maybe i wouldn't have any of the problems i have now #and like my life is a lot better. and i know that and i wouldn't change a thing. but like emotionally i guess i'm just #processing it as a fault of mine to have changed bc it's changing my relationships to others #and this isn't about any one specific thing like i've been having lots of small growing pains with a lot of ppl in my life rn i just am lik #there's a lot happening to me rn emotionally so i feel like everything i do is a fuckup and i'm just bracing for more people to go ig #which might happen or it might not and tbh either is ok at this point. i need to do this in order to live i think #idk why i'm even rambling about this i just have a lot of thoughts and i want to share them i guess. not like it does anything but like #what else is this app for at this point lmfao i barely even want to talk on here anymore because i feel like everything i say on here is #just pointless. i'm thankful i have a strong support system rn cuz genuinely i don't know what i'd do if i didn't like #i feel like everything is so much more emotionally Big to me on E and it's kind of hard trying to figure out how to manage it #like i'm basically finally getting to be me. for worse AND for better. and i just am like. insecure on some level i guess #not even over my appearance tbh i've kinda made peace with that. moreso my personality and what things i share with others #this whole post is so wholly unnecessary but i feel like i'm going to go insane if i don't get this out of my head #i've genuinely been avoiding talking about my emotions or my private life on here because i don't exactly feel safe on here anymore #which is like great. love it when my primary outlet for like. socially interacting with people casually gets compromised i love it #i literally softblocked like 30 ppl off of here so i could talk abt my weird sex stuff and my body and my deeper thoughts with ppl i trust #and then i still am too conscious about it! this always happens when i make a blog for myself to talk on #maybe i'm just not meant for talking abt things

[davy-zeppeli]

😖

#i know it's probably bc I'm getting tired but man I've not felt this shitty in a while. and i mean like mad at myself #like honestly? all i do is fucking talk. about nothing. and i don't stop. like girl shut up for a moment. no one cares!!! #I'll sit and talk about the monkees and get mad at myself for just rambling about them. l #i feel like the most annoying person on the planet rn. like i need to be told to shut up. but god that'd feel worse. fuck i dunno man #I'm trying very hard to keep positive thoughts rn but it's getting difficult man. real difficult. #sorry I'm actually gonna shut up now #just ignore this. #ramblings #me

[melonpond]

He (sock puppet Mr. Hyde) haunts my every thought

#melon rambles #do I need a new tag for non sensical rambles? #melon's rambly rambles #<- there we go new tag for the weird personal posts #if you want some context for this picture #for my video class I have to make a music video #and I've chosen the song Confrontation from Jekyll and Hyde because I thought it'd be funny #but throughout the entire filming process I just felt like I was going insane #because I was staying up until 2am listening to very specific parts of the song on loop while puppeteering sock puppet hyde #idk what that did to my brain but it certainly did something #and now I just have to get through editing #I'm so close #it's due tomorrow so no matter what it's going to be done soon #when it's finished it'll most definitely look like an offbrand muppets movie

[noxtivagus]

i'm rlly happy i started listening to the 1975

#🌙.rambles #at first i thought they had more sus songs so i didn't listen to them for a while #n the first song i listened to them was fallingforyou n the only song i rlly listened to for a while #n then. i listened to some other popular ones at first which were more on the ballad slow type yeah #which i like too but then. i listened to more n now. oh my god #i really appreciate their views on society ! in abiiof i rlly. understand where they're coming from #that kind of thing is smth that means a lot to me yk? just. a lot of things in society in general n then #while i may not relate personally to the ones more on the topic of love n uhm yeah yk #i do understand them well n probably more than i shld 😭 i don't have experience myself but for me it's just #understanding n learning is just really important to me. so i know of more.. mature things still #i rlly love how. w their beats n the music. n then the meaning behind it. i really appreciate it. i love it so much #n then live they're just !!!! really performers #i really love how they just. do what they want yk? be who they are #n then. particularly since i know more of him w stuff i've watched n read #matty really is intelligent. he looks at life deeper than most. n i relate to a lot that i know of him #also like getting more into music w the bands n all rlly reminded me of how i rlly want to make my own one day #like. a lot of my goals n dreams r like. relating to literature n games n science n music #both in like learning or taking n then creating in a way #specifically in music here yk i really grew up w music. a lot of influences from so many artists n then #i played piano ever since 8 n then i rlly learned well but we stopped having lessons n i got more busy w my studies #since i'm.. an academic achiever as well n my grades have always been great in general n then #i love all genres. i can't even rlly write abt that rn bcs my love for music is rlly just so much #n then i don't know how to explain it but.. when i listen to music i really really Listen to it like. yk i take in everything abt it #i love music so much. oh man #i cld ramble on even more abt the 1975 too i think they're rlly special in the industry #i rlly love how they juxtapose darker topics w their upbeat songs? #i'm gna be productive now phew i'm rlly glad we have a long weekend. i'll make the most of this time.

[dbphantom]

Man you know I'm fucking stressed when I start having sleep paralysis episodes again lmao

#Cruddy rambles #This time I saw a big ol demon kitty lounging on the chair in my room and heard someone banging on my bedroom door and turning the knob #The worst part of these is when I try to talk and I physically cannot even get a sound out #I always wondered. What it sounded like to other people #Because to me in the half asleep state I am screaming with a closed mouth and all that's coming out is like. Those whisper yells. #But I imagine it's making next to no noise at all. Which sucks bc like. I'd at least LIKE help if it were possible #Not that I want to just start screaming randomly in the middle of the night. But being able to call 4 help would be nice. #Sigh... #Anyway. Yeah. That was a great experience 10/10 do not recommend #It's funny how I had 1 (one) sleep paralysis experience at college. And now that I'm home I'm having them on the reg again #Funny how that works. I'm sure it's unrelated. #They're not even that scary bc Im half asleep for them. they're just panic inducing bc they're loud and I can't move and I hate it #SO loud. It's always lots of banging. One time I heard my Grammy laughing from that same chair while something huge and with many limbs #Banged all across my closet doors from every direction. Fuckin rude #I've also only ever had 1 physical hallucination and it was the college one #A demon walked into my dorm room while my friends slept in the common room (initially I thought it was one of them coming in to wake me up) #And walked over to the side of the bed and stood there and stared at me until it started shaking the bed violently and laughing #And I just kinda rolled over and fell back asleep despite the shaking and laughing bc like. What u gonna do #I have to emphasize that you're barely conscious during these which is why ur brain hallucinates in the first place #So literally ur only action is to force yourself to wake up but deal with the horrors (like I did tonight) or just. Fall back asleep #Which is my usual option but I couldn't fall back asleep bc I'm hungry #I'm gonna go tho. I'm tired af and I wanna try to sleep some more b4 I have to get up today #I just came here to calm down bc talking calms me down and well. I can post here without bothering anyone with dumb messages. #So I'm go back to sleep now #Goog nite

[outismm]

OUTIS!!!!!! How do you feel about you and Robotus in a princess and the frog au? I think it fits you two very well! You two fall in love and in the end when you share True Love’s Kiss he turns into a human (or you turn into a robot. Either one works)

OK THIS FUCKING IDEA HAS. BIRTHED BRAINWORMS THAT ARE ONLY TANGENTIALLY RELATED TO THIS BUT. IDCIDCIDC IM ROLLING WITH IT.

The idea of AB as a human and Willie as a robot has given me diseases. I've tried to condense these diseases as efficiently as possible so here's this silliness:

*SPINS IN A CIRCLE AND PINGS OFF INTO THE ATMOSPHERE*

#i literally scribbled this out at lightning speed btwn fits of Illness (tm) MSNDMSNDM SO HAVE THIS I GUESS #WAHHHHH <3333 #I'm rambling in the tags bc. shy disease #extra details I've thought of : #Willie asking him how he got his injuries and he's like 'oh yeah bigfoot tore off my legs' and willies like < REALLY? > #'of course not Bigfoot is a lovely man. It was a helicopter crash. how are you so gullible???' #his name... is Ro Abbott (GET IT)- #W-111E was only sent to Cognito bc. there was a Mixup. he was supposed to go to Incineration bc he was defective but #SDNSMN NOPE SOMEBODY FORGOT TO CARRY A ZERO APPARENTLY AND. BADABING BADABOOM #the robot who failed his Spacial Awareness Test bc he kept pulling the push door. is now tasked with destroying Cognito from the inside out #GIGI AND AB DESERVE TO BE MARRIED AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME- #They've been married for ages and. nobody understands it. but also Dr. Abbott is scary as fuck so nobody gossips either MSDNSMND #AB spends 3 weeks Carefully Plotting Trying To Capture Willie while. Willie has 0 clue he's doing anything wrong he's literally Just Vibes. #hes wandering around cognito like :) :o <3 :o) meanwhile Dr. Abbott is literally spending 16 hrs of the day setting traps MSNDMS #somehow managing to miss him every single time #I could go on for centuries about this idea but. I SHANT instead I shall Scurry Away #MSNDMSN #🤖🧪 human error #✨🧪stardust in my eyes #✨🧪🤖RGB Polycule #outis art #i keep forgetting to add that tag #AOUGHE. OH GOD IVE LITERALLY BEEN RAMBLING FOR AGES #UM. RUNS AWAY. THANK U HANDS YOU A ROSE AND THEN RUNS UP A TREE