On my anti Cassian rampage after that bonus chapter
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I'm so grateful that the only GG fans that care about the light novels are the ones that can be normal about things because Lightning the Argent goes from the rawest scenes of carnage imaginable to Ky Kiske doing something mildly religious like offering a short, silent, prayer for someone that got mangled to death by WMD dragons, and I just know that, in the wrong hands, those brief religious moments would generate the most annoying goddamn memes you could ever imagine
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Doing a bridgerton rewatch with my roommate and the way Portia refuses to let Penelope wait a year to be presented and then also makes no efforts to actually introduce her to suitors drives me crazy.
Like when Simon shows up at the ball she takes Prudence and Phillipa to introduce them, leaving Penelope behind despite her having been stood next them. When the men are leaving after coming to call on Marina she says "remember to say goodbye to Prudence phillipa, or even Penelope". There is genuinely no attempt to get Penelope matched, despite her instance that she needed to come out that year.
And then in season 2 she has the gull to say to Prudence "you don't want to be like Penelope" when convincing her to seduce Jack.
Like girl you cannot be mad she has no suitors when you refuse to do the same for her that you do with your oher daughters. She's already concluded she's going to be a spinster, even over Prudence who's older and also has no suitors, and isn't even trying to stop that from happening
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I will feel so tired that it's like my atoms are coming undone and I'm being made unreal...and then I will have a little chocolate treat and for 15 minutes I am whole and present again. Then the horrors
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Didn't realize that Obi-Wan Kenobi AND Andor had nominations for the Emmys this year! But I guess people really love Succession huh?
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Okay but since when Fitzgerald is back being a villain in Atsushi's head?
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Barbalius: did you fuck my dad
Gaelan: Really, for all that you present yourself as above petty insults and crass jibes, hardly behavior befitting a Red Top Knight after all, it is you who always-
Barbalius: DID YOU FUCK MY DAD
Gaelan: :3c
Barbalius: I'LL KILL YOU
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"So, and I can't believe I have to be the guy to point this out," Doc starts hesitantly.
"Terrible start! Go on," Cleo says.
"But you seem to be one of the only sane people left right now," Doc continues.
"Even more terrible, although I appreciate your delusion," Cleo says.
"And I have to--you know, if you're going to make fun of me for bringing you a problem maybe I just won't. I can solve it myself. I basically solved the moon thing myself," Doc says. "I am trying to be responsible before this turns into a whole thing."
"Doc, you came to me. Did you want anything that wasn't me making fun of you? Because you know, if so, I really feel bad for you. I already feel bad enough for you that you think you actually managed to do anything at all about the moon thing."
Doc throws his hands up. "I am trying to warn you the ocean is evil! It's important! This is important!"
"The deep sea being evil isn't new," Cleo starts, "I was building Atlantis last season--"
"It sent, sent, salmon people to kill me!"
Cleo stops. They look Doc in the eyes. They search for any signs of deception at all. It's a little hard to tell, on account of Doc only having one eye even capable of expressiveness, and his face being the opposite of human, but...
"What?" Cleo says dumbly.
"It was like, like, Beef and Skizz, they were crazy! They were talking about a giant fish and how I shouldn't defy it. And I was like, what is a Big Salmon? I don't know, man, but they're ocean mobsters. And then I started looking. It's not just them. It's not just them Cleo, it's everyone. The ocean, man, it's evil, it's getting everyone. I've, I've made a list. Grian. Have you looked at Grian lately?"
"I think if we were worried about every time Grian got possessed then we wouldn't have any free time," Cleo says hesitantly.
"Right, right, but it was supposed to be Demise. The killing each other, all of the killing each other. I thought, oh, that'll get it out of their systems. But it's not just him Cleo! It's--have you seen Gem? She's all, oh, I will build a boat. Oh, I'll provoke the creatures of the deep. And then. Do you know what I saw all of Team ZITS doing? Fishing!"
"Doc," Cleo says, increasingly concerned for him. He looks... disheveled.
"And not just fishing, oh no. They were standing in the water fishing! And Pearl! Have I mentioned that Pearl is dressing up as a salmon? I mentioned that, yes? The salmon Pearl?"
"You hadn't, unless that was the big fish thing," Cleo says.
"No, that was something different, I think Pearl is maybe a different salmon."
"Sure, okay, more than one salmon, that makes sense," Cleo says dryly.
"And everyone, they are fishing each other around the ocean, yes? Etho is in the ocean! XB is in the ocean! I think I saw Joe crawl out of the ocean earlier, he was all wet and haunted! Surely that is a sign the ocean is evil."
"No, he's just like that," Cleo says. "Also, I did the fishing rod thing too. I think it's just... normal fun."
"They're getting you too. My assessment that you're the sane one. I've said too much."
"I think you need sleep," Cleo says. "Doc, there isn't an ocean-based conspiracy. It's the start of the season. You know we're just like this."
"That's the thing, I can't sleep," Doc says. "I can't. I sleep and I see it. I see it, lurking beneath the waves. It's calling for me Cleo. It's calling. And when it calls, it seems so--kind. But then. But then! I wake up, and I remember the shape of it, and..."
Doc shudders and stops talking. Cleo looks at him a moment longer and then, like comforting a nervous animal, takes his shoulder.
"You should take a nap. It's the start of the season. You're over-stressing yourself. Too much too fast?" they say, as soothingly as possible.
"It's coming for us," Doc says. "It's coming. I don't want to ignore it this time, yes? What's coming for us. We should--we should--"
"Even if it is, Doc, I don't think we can fight the ocean. Come on. Maybe sleeping in my base will help reset your brain."
Doc shudders, but lets Cleo guide him inside. They watch until at last he falls asleep fitfully before shaking their head and sighing.
"A giant fish that was trying to kill him. Honestly. I don't know where he gets these things from. Always a conspiracy with him..."
They decide to go to Ren. Ren knows how to humor Doc. Surely they can get in their ridiculous games again, and Doc will forget all about this. Doc would enjoy the Ministry of Ministries. Maybe he can be an anarchist or something. That would be good for him.
Doc cries out in his sleep. Cleo turns to him.
Then again, they have this strange sinking feeling in their stomach. Doc's... awfully worked up.
But it's Doc.
Surely it's nothing.
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Playing through Fallout:New Vegas for the first time in years. And I'm developing a newfound appreciation for the damage done to the intended pacing of the narrative with the addition of the Courier's Stash.
I wake up in Goodsprings, and as part of the extended tutorial you have Ghosttown Gunfight, the fairly self-contained faction war between Goodsprings and the Powder Gangers. And the design intent, I think, is that this is probably supposed to be a pain in the ass, with only one or two avenues of support available to you given the low level at which you'll pick this one up. Six Powder Gangers, some in body-armor, would be a serious threat, and committing to fighting against that with your dinky 9mm and a varmint rifle seems like a rough time! An actual uphill battle, doing the right thing instead of the easy thing. Fortunately, Benny inexplicably left my handy 40mm grenade launcher in the grave with me, so I cleaned up.
I'm working my way south, and, you know, in a version of the game where Benny didn't inexplicably leave my handy 40mm grenade launcher in the grave with me, this would have been the knock-on effect of my "good" Karmic choice in defending Goodsprings; the road south is littered with powder gangers who'd have been neutral had I not kicked the hornet's nest. As it stands? Free experience. I hit Primm, and fighting through the cramped hallways of the Bison Steve I encounter an enemy armed with what was clearly supposed to be the first heavy weapon I'd encounter in the world. Tight Corridors. Inexplicable Grenade Launcher. I clean up.
South I go to the Mojave outpost, Nipton, that whole thing. And clearly, clearly you aren't meant to take a swing at Vulpes here, right? You're supposed to take it in, get a sense for the legion. In the version of the game that shipped you're supposed to get bodied if you try to kick the beef gate here. There are allowances in the game for if you pull it off, sure, but I did try with just the service rifle, without the glorious first-strike capabilities afforded to me by the 40mm grenade launcher that Benny inexplicably left in the grave with me. It didn't go very well!
So now I'm dogged by Legion hit squads on my way to Novac, which I get the distinct impression was not the point in the game at which this was supposed to start happening to me, because I am gathering up some pretty expensive equipment, all sold for space. I punch through to Vegas, and at this stage, the clear developer intent is that you need to spend some time milling around Freeside or Camp McCarran in order to gain access to the Strip- do odd jobs to scrape up the money, buy the forgery from Mick and Ralphs, gain monorail access, get your science skill high enough to hack the robot. Get the lay of the land, get a feel for the people, send some time stewing in the human cost of House's walled garden before you head in and hear the pitch from the big man himself.
Except I've got 5000 caps from selling off all the legion killteam equipment. In I go!
And the fun thing is, right, the Courier's stash can't be diegetic, but it is having a very direct impact on the world here. A top legion guy just went down to my inexplicable 40mm grenade launcher. Whatever else I'm roleplaying as, I am roleplaying as a guy who woke up in the possession of an inexplicable 40mm grenade launcher, and neither I nor my character can plausibly ignore that fact given its terrible bloodstained utility. I play a man, a man who would be a good man, a man nonetheless bewitched by the terrible resolutory power of the grenade launcher. My best friend, the inexplicable 40mm grenade launcher! My worst enemy, the inexplicable 40mm grenade launcher!
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> "I'm very romantic!"
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May I have more gen alpha Damian but as Robin? This little boy is a menace to the rouges ... I love this idea 💖💖💖💖💖
Riddler: Riddle me this.
Damian: *starts recording on his smart watch*
Riddler: The first two letters signify a male, the first three letters signify a female, the first four letters signify a great man, while the entire word signifies a great woman. What is the word?
Damian's watch: Heroine.
———————
Joker: You see, little birdie, it all started with One Bad Day—
Damian: *plays the world's smallest violin*
———————
Freeze: With the press of a button, I will ice over the entire Gotham Harbor!
Damian: Cringe.
———————
Hatter: *posts a TikTok monologue threatening the batfam*
Damian: *stitches himself yawning and falling asleep*
———————
Croc: *roars*
Damian: *pulls out the All-Blades*
Croc: ?
Damian: My brother got the DLC.
———————
Harley: *launches her confetti cannon*
*single piece of confetti falls out*
Damian, clapping: Go girl give us nothing.
———————
Clayface: *attacks Damian*
Damian: *rips out a chunk of clay*
Damian: *starts playing with it like slime*
———————
Scarecrow: I've got you now.
Damian: Imagine being a grown man beefing with a middle schooler. Couldn't be me.
———————
Ivy: *ties him up with her plants*
Damian, a vegan: *chomp*
———————
Damian: What are your pronouns so I can eviscerate you properly?
Two-Face: ...
Two-Face: He/they.
———————
Ra's: It's just you and me, my disgraced heir. Let's finish this duel once and for all.
Damian: *taps his phone*
Jon: *flies in and pummels Ra's*
Jon: Thank you for ordering from SüberDefeats! Be sure to share your feedback.
Damian: *tips Jon and leaves five stars*
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I feel like drake just keeps trying to do his nonchalant laughing it off hyperonline schtick that worked with meek mill (the only beef he ever won) and he doesn't realize he'd actually have to switch it up. I don't think his strategy or persona are why he beat meek mill, I think he beat meek mill because it's meek mill. did you win or did he lose, you know. kendrick got famous off what I would call a very magnetic and ghoulish intensity. like he's always taken on very heavy material and he specifically doesn't want to cover up the amount of intensity and effort and emotion on display. so that's what he's doing here, he's like "I'm the biggest hater" and "I think he should die" and shit he is ❌NOT❌ trying to look unbothered. so drake is still trying to, but he doesn't know how to balance the heaviness of the shit he's slinging with an actual funny affect. like "tryna strike a chord and it's probably a minoooooooor" and "WHAT IS IT? THE BRAIDS" is just objectively funny as hell. calling someone a pedophile on a dj mustard beat is funny. going to the restaurant kendrick name dropped when he was mocking your fake accent is....almost there, I feel like that's what I mean, it's the wrong type of funny. crushing the gkmc WOULD be funny if you were playing up the same level hater shit as kendrick. nonchalant people don't do that as a move though, it's just not working.
I feel like this is generally what people don't like about drake; resentful but dispassionate; sensitive but too insecure and stunted to put that into something, so he just cowers behind an unconvincing performance of what he thinks is a Real Cool Guy. and what he finds cool is widely read as corny and loserly, but that's it's own thing I guess. I get the impression everything gets to him but instead of doing boogie man shit he's trying to be the coolest senior at his highschool about it. and the hyperonline thing worked with meek mill because back then it was niche. like being able to play two different audiences -- hip hop hubs + the hip hop pages -- would've been seen as clever. but now everyones so sick of the internet and it's way more alluring to have some old fashioned celebrity, like kendrick is completely inaccessible which goes way further now than knowing memes. being online as an artist has become synonymous with mediocrity. unrelated but this is the main thing holding doja cat back, people think it's her personality but it's really that she's rapping about twitter. but no one cares about that -- the thing is I hear his diss tracks, and I've heard every kendrick album minus the last like hundreds of times, so I'm always thinking.....there is actually stuff you could go at. kendrick's complexes are not invisible you know, maybe find a ghostwriter who's heard his music. but drake just keeps projecting instead, he's never actually touching down on kendrick's deal. "gotta b sharp d major" WHAT are you talking about? there's no way all you know about him is that he's short and a hotep. meanwhile if you so much as look at a picture of drake you know his entire deal it's eeking out of him so strong. he emanates a very I-remember-every-sideways-thing-said-to-me-in-seventh-grade energy, he's got that I-need-to-relive-my-prom-night-until-it's-perfect patina. I don't know, it just seems like he's trying to do something that worked* one time ten years ago
*did it? who tf likes meek mill
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HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES
Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!
Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)
Bdubs
Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep!
Crastle
I love ya to death
It’s gorgee
Beyootiful
Uh oh!
Hell’s blazes!
Hawsies
YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO!
Shuddup!
Judas priest!
Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!!
What in the world!
Holy cow!
Nuh-uh!
Hoimycraaaaaf
Whimsy
Trying my heart out
Beef
EEskall
That was my nickname in college!
Nailed it!
Dangit!
Beefy Tunes
Smelly Etho
Opulent
Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him
Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders!
Beef taught Etho about redstone
Oh my goodness!
Oh boy!
What the heck
Oh, baby!
Quote unquote
A ton of __
Cleo
Class dismissed!
I don’t need your stinky torches
I will break your legs
Trash is fish
The answer to everything is leather pants
Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need!
What did you do, Joe….
It's FINE, everything's FINE
Lovely
Silly
I mean...
Not gonna lie...
To be fair...
Cub
DA CREAMADA CROP
Alright guys
Nice, nice
Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em
Eeeeasy money
Beautiful, absolutely beautiful
Mmmmmhmmmmmm
Holy smokes
Let's goooo!
Sweet
Oh, baby!
Man, oh man
Without further ado
Peace out
Cheers / cheers, man
There's some heat coming off that thing
Doc
Are you kidding me now?
Alright guys
Can’t touch this
The G.O.A.T.
Etho, get to the damn land man!
It all started when Grian touched my redstone…
Epic
Etho
Uh-huh
Like-a so
Oh snap
Get your snacks!
Holy smokes!
Take care, have a good day, bye bye
Aww snappers!
Aww yeah
Von Sway
I barely know ‘er!
Speaking of llamas
Bright blue bamboo
E. to the T. to the your mum
Beefaroni / Beefers
Speaking of llamas…
That’s what she said!
Free glass
Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders!
Suckerrrr!
Check it out
False
Blimey
Awh dude
Frick
False Supremacy
Oh my goodness
I don't know about you guys, but...
Props to __
I'm not gonna lie...
Gem
Gem is great
Her [name] is [adjective]!
Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse")
Perfect!
Epic
It's true, I swear!
Not gonna lie...
Oh gosh!
Trust the process
Nailed it!
Grian
Hello! My name is Grian
Good… byeeeee!
Pesky bird
My heart! My little heart!
Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK
Can we just agree that Mumbo loses?
What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that?
It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume!
SaAaaaAaAnd
Chobblesome
SCAR NO— / NO SCAR—
In theory…
Electric boogalooo
What does this button do?
What on earth?
This is in shambles
Get outta here!
Hear me out...
We don't have __. What we DO have is __
Just straight up
Without further ado
Crack on
Bingo bango
Yes. 100%
Hypno
Right, right
Mmhmm
You guys
Dang guy
Impulse
What’s goin on everyone?
Shovel Shuffle
BEHIND YOU GEM!
Peeps
Geez
Let's goooo!
Are you kidding me?
Oh, man
Now we're talkin'!
Holy smokes
Oh my gosh
How cool is that?
Jeez!
Dang it!
Buddy
Presi (for present)
You bet!
Iskall
Hallo
-skall ("richskall")
That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega
Omega
“Excuse me? Sir?”
__ of doom
Okay, lol
And I will see you dudes in the next episode
I’ve had a realization
Oh for goodness sake!
It’s not fat, it’s big-boned
Not gonna lie
SaAaaaAaAnd
Very fine
Great success!
Bird poop
Bumbo Cactoni
Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro
E
Pag
Jevin
Hypno smells!
Oh my god
Sucker
What the heck
Dude
Man
I swear
Joe
Howdy y’all!
That’s the Joe Hills difference!
I will now say a poem of my own devising
Core concept
Keep adventurin’!
Time skip!
Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills
No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me!
Grow Hills / Expand Joe
Joepacity / Jhost
Keralis
Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes
Wanna buy a book?
Spank you very much
Just sit back, relax, and enjoy
Like this, like that
I can see my house from here!
Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess
Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t
Like-a so
I love your face
I’m a real boy!
I don’t k-nove (know)
Not like this!
Booshes
Clever girl
But first… lemme take a selfie
I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about?
Scary harry larry
I’m alayve!
Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking
Mm-kay
Oh behave
I’m a simple man
MeOOOow
Welcome to my humble abod-ee
Not too shabby
My face!
My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti
Tag 2 Booga Booga
Stiffy nipples Batman!
First I was afraid, I was petrified...
Mumbo
I worry about myself sometimes
I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not
Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess…
Dude!
Chuffed to bits
It’s a bit pants
I’m such a spoon
Oh my word
It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple
Bonkers
I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya
Off you pop
Oh goodness me!
Hermit challenges — initiation!
All done and dusted
To be frankly honest
Seriously seriously cool
Absolutely nuts
I don’t even know what to say
Iskall I feel sick
Peace, love, and plants
Moon’s big
Mumbo for Mayor
Quite simple
Pearl
Lovely
Bonkers
At this point...
Cheeky / you cheeky
What's this?
Mate
Ren
Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today
Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line!
You picking up what I’m putting down
My dudes
Y’know what I’m sayin’
Coming atcha frommmmmm
Dude
Coming from left, right, and center
Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!)
Automagically
Jazztastic
Janktastic
Oh baby
Like nobody’s business
Looking absolutely magnificent
Anyhoozle
Twaddle
Renstone
The Octagon is a well-oiled machine!
[word]-age
[word]-ation
[word]-i (to make things plural
You love / hate to see it
I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin'
Professional __
Jazz
Anyhoozle
Exqueeze me?
Freakin'
Some serious __
What's happenin', baby?
Chesticles
Scar
Scarred for life
Woah, what in the world!
It’s gonna be am-ay-zing
LOOK at the siiiiize of that
Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting
Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life!
Looking super fancy
Let’s hit super fast build mode!
Look at the size of that
Appreciate ya
Hotguy!
Operation: Aquathunder!
That’s what she said!
Rapscallion
You silly goose
Oh, sweet baby Jellie!
Bayum! / Bam!
The bee's knees
Easy peasy, orangey squeezy
Stress
Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic?
Mate
Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons
Gorgeous
Plonker
Geezer
Ohhhhh nooooo!
Yeeeesshhh
I legged it
Such a pro / I'm such a pro
Proper __
Cheeky
Bloke
Thingamajig
Ain't
[word]-age
[word]-ies
Tango
Happy fun sauce
-ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic
Skadoodle
Fearsome bunny slippers
Noob juice
So here’s the deal
Holding shift
Shwoop
Flim flam
Poop came out
Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb
Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror!
Boom booms
Gah!
The dungeon is ready for its next victim
Behold!
Results may vary!
I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong
This is the worst timeline. I hate everything
Big no!
You— you freak of nature!
Jerkface
Jerkbutt
Excellent
How embarassing
This is true
Zombert
Bits
This I gotta see!
Right in the face!
[word] is happening
Yeah baby!
Stupid jerks
Boop
This is the best / worst thing ever!
Niner niner niner
[general unintelligible noises]
TFC
What in tarnation!
Crap-tacular
Humongous
Butt-ugly
Ugly as sin
Oh, goody
Ender-twits
Bugger
Oh, fart
For crying out loud
Wels
Words are hard
If you will
Super __
xB
Aww yeah
Mmkay
Son of a biscuit
Pretty frickin' __
Man
Get frickin' wrecked!
Chestacle
Dang it
Staaph it
Oy vey
Crap on a cracker
Dang it, Bobby!
Dang guy
Xisuma
Oh goodness me
Oh dangit
Geez
Peeps
I’m such a derp
Oh my days
Chooturial
Issooma
Allo
Woa’ah
Brought (instead of bought)
My dude
Achacha
Zed
Hello hello hello
A-good a-bye
Muckin' about
I lied
TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo
Hu-jah!
Pretty darn __
Certainly
Rubbish
I'm [word]-ing
[word] me
[word]-iness
What happens is...
Get kersplatted!
Epic
Oh my goodness!
More Info
So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!
If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D
Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)
Sources (which will hopefully expand with time):
This reddit post from four years ago
This other reddit post also from four years ago
Reddit from three years ago
This cute diagram
A more up to date source
Another
Xisuma's dictionary on his website
HC character tv tropes page
This incredible google doc
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whatre your thoughts on younger fandom mem8ers (like those who are under 18) and how they interact with homestuck just as a whole? im a 8it curious ::::)
i was the youngest of all my (5) siblings, but like with any big family there are like.. age group generations. my siblings were all much older than me so despite being the youngest, in my "generation" i was one of the oldest of all the cousins. This will make sense to some, probably especially if you are hispanic.
So I've always kind of been around younger people. This is what pushed me to want to be a music teacher. Taking the guidance and lessons I got from my older siblings/cousins/uncles/aunts/etc and giving it to a new generation.
Now that i'm middle aged and my bright young idealist teaching days are far behind me, i find myself again in a position where i am surrounded by younger people. While I have little interest in interacting with children on a personal level I do think that its important to understand that they're just kids. You have to treat them with what my teachers called compassionate regard.
What this means is remembering that sometimes they will mess up, or sometimes have sort of stupid ideas, or they'll say weird and often kind of mean things and not just think about it. They're just kids. When you're a kid you test your boundaries and figure out who you're trying to be. To quote homestuck itself:
As an adult, it is your job to know better and try to be kind even if they are being sort of a little weirdo. Whether they know it or not, kids are seeing how you react or engage. If you're setting a bad example by being a shithead how can you expect them to be any better?
What I do, is I try and establish clear boundaries. "please don't do that." etc. If a young person says something especially rude or weird to me, tell them clearly not to do that. It doesn't have to be a whole ordeal. You don't have to make fun of them or shit on them. If its something that needs course correcting you can just privately say "hey don't do that."
thats all a little heavy handed too though. not every moment is a LEARNABLE LESSON or w/e. i think you have to balance that sort of thing with just rolling with it. sometimes some little bastard dunks on you because you're a boomer online and you just gotta go like, damn you fucking got me. sometimes you gotta riff on the bit. sometimes a kid will have a really stupid take online and your first reaction cant be "i gotta own this idiot" they're like 15 man let it go. you beefing with someone who has to ask permission to go to the bathroom its not that deep.
anyway this got really long, and i dont even know if i answered your question. forgive me i am old.
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Just read you're other story, it was awesome. Can you write one with male reader being married to graves and ale and rudy flirting with m/n, but every time m/n is like I'm married but never tells hes married to graves. And one day they are making out on the couch and ale and rudy walk in and are like " NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY HIM OF ALL PEOPLE. " and " THAT SHOULD BE ME. "
Do you have a man? I don’t see a ring on your finger
Word count: 2.3k
Requested: Yes
Warnings: Graves (jk) None really. A lot of fluff, Los Vaqueros and Graves have beef, Alejandro complains about white people (as he should),
Notes: Wrote the vast majority of this in class while listening to IT GIRL. You know this is gonna be good. And yes, if you've submitted a request the last three days after I posted my last fic, I’ve started to work on it. Gotten a lot more than I’ve expected so I’m trying my best lol. And Anon, if you want me to rewrite this or make something different, please just ask me to, I really don't mind. I'm not too proud of this one, but I hope I've satisfied you.
(Takes place before the Graves betrayal. Reader is not part of the 141, Shadows or Los Vaqueros, but a secret fourth thing.)
“Come on, Guapo. You’re bluffing.” Alejandro smirked, crossing his arms as he spoke. You chuckled, leaning back against the truck that Rudy was loading up. This wasn’t the first time he had accused you of lying about your relationship status. If you had a dollar for each time, you’d have enough to have another wedding.
“I’m telling you, Alejandro. I’m a married man. How many more times do I have to tell you?” You confirmed for the millionth time, a stupid grin on your face. Truth be told, you didn’t half mind their flirting, it made you feel better about yourself knowing that you still got it. The fact that they refused to believe that you were married, it was sort of funny.
“I don’t see a ring.” Rudy added in after he loaded the final bag onto the truck, a know-it-all look on his face as he walked up to you too. You rolled your eyes, refusing to move from your position because you thought you looked too cool not to.
“No one wears rings during active duty, Rodolfo. You see Soap and Ghost wearing theirs?” You spoke back, pushing yourself off your spot on the car for two reasons. Them being, you thought it would be cooler and Rudy was moving to open the door your foot was suffocating.
“No, Ghost wears his ring around his neck. Also I’m pretty sure Soap lost his.” Alejandro commented, making eye contact with you. It wasn’t for long because you immediately closed your eyes as you scoffed.
“Well, that’s Soap for you. I guess I just prefer to not wear mine.” You reasoned, looking over to Rudy, to Alejandro and then over to a whistle that just sounded American. That always made you smile, seeing Graves whistle his Shadows like they were dogs.
“Oh great, it’s the gringo.” Alejandro hissed, causing you to turn your head and shake it a bit.
“Hey.” You scolded him like he was a child and had just said he hated something, which was kind of true. Los Vaqueros had a sort of special hatred for Graves, perhaps it was because he was the most American man you’d ever meet, perhaps it was because he was just kind of an asshole. You’ve been trying to get them to get along, but so far it would only work on Rudy. He was the kinder of the two, it was clear.
“Alejandro. We talked about this.” Rudy chimed in, causing Alejandro to hold out his arms in disbelief. He dropped them to his sides and pointed over to Graves.
“Is it my fault he’s so white? I’m literally being blinded every time I look over at him!” He protested, causing you to chuckle a little. Rudy didn’t let himself smile, although he was internally.
“I know. It is very painful to look at him.” Rudy nodded, placing a hand on Alejandro’s shoulder and shaking his head like he was sympathising with Alejandro after he had been shot or something, not like he was complaining about white people. A valid complaint in most people’s eyes.
“I don’t even say it to any of the 141.” The taller man whisper-shouted, searching for sympathy from you. You smiled, shaking your head as you walked over to him and placed a hand on his other shoulder so you were now one big line.
“Oh yes, you’re very strong, Ale.” You patronised him, talking down to him like he was a toddler. Before he had time to punch you, Graves walked over. Sorry, not walking, strided like the sassy man he is.
“Alright gentlemen. Let’s get this show on the road. You coming with me, Y/N?” Graves smiled, looking over to you. Both Alejandro and Rudy looked over to you, knowing that you always travelled with Graves when you went to go do something. Not belonging to any of their groups, you preferred to travel with your husband.
“Ye-”
“Actually, Y/N will be travelling with us for this mission, Graves. He’s been with you every other time.” Alejandro butted in, placing his arm in front of you like you were going to run off to the man at any minute if he didn’t step in.
“You can’t just decide where he does and doesn’t go, compadre.” Graves tried to argue, but you gave him a look to say it was fine. He nodded, making a little symbol with his hands to tell you that you were to make it up to him later. You had created a lot of those symbols, knowing that it would be hard to communicate all your incredibly affectionate thoughts for one another.
Graves walked away and the three of you turned to the car. Rudy tossed the keys around in his hands, indicating you were to sit in the back because of course Alejandro always had to take shotgun if Rudy was driving.
“Who used this truck last?” Alejandro asked as he opened the passenger’s seat door, sitting down while you buckled in and Rudy turned the keys.
“Uh, It was you last, right Y/N?” Rudy asked, turning back to you. You gave them a thumbs up, your mind replaying why exactly you had used the truck last time. Makeout sessions were not easy to go on base, and the trucks had tinted windows.
“Wait what the…who the fuck did you have in here? W-Why is the seat back like that?” Rudy asked as leant back in the seat only to realise just how far back it was positioned. The taller man held the lever that would pull the seat back up for Rudy and before you could deny anything, Alejandro had something to ask..
“AND WHY DOES THIS CAR SMELL LIKE JAPANESE CHERRY BLOSSOM? WHO THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE IN HERE?” He yelled, causing Rudy to laugh to himself at seeing your guilty face.
“THAT'S JUST HOW I LIKE TO DRIVE!” You lied, trying to come up with an excuse for why the truck was like this. You were sure they didn’t believe you, but they didn’t say anything about it for a moment.
“Sureee, we believe you, love.” Rudy smiled, starting up the car and beginning to lead the rest of the group to the relocation point. You looked over at your hand in the backseat, wondering why you had chosen not to wear your wedding ring. Sure, it was impractical as hell to have on the field, but you could easily attach it to something else, like a necklace.
“What’re you thinking about, carino? Tryna make up a personality for your fake husband?” Alejandro asked, looking back at you from his chair. You frowned, like a full on cartoon downturned face.
“He isn’t fake, forehead. And what I’m thinking of is none of your business.”
“Oh I get it. It was sexual. You were totally thinking about Rudy and I.”
“Don’t drag me into this Ale.”
“You helped me dig this hole, Rudy. You’re coming in with me.”
“Why do you make everything about sex?”
“Why do you not?”
“I’m a human that respects everyone around me, Alejandro. You don't…” You decided to tune them out, it was just the same bickering every time that somehow got you roped up in it. You’d heard it all before. They’d argue about something or other and eventually they’d make up when you forced them to, which made them want to flirt with you even more. You didn’t mind the flirting…it just got a bit tiring sometimes.
________
“Hey baby.” Graves smiled as you entered the small section of the base that was dedicated to the shadows while they stayed for the time being. You smiled, walking up to him and embracing the American man in your tired arms, just wanting to hold him.
“Hey Graves.” You mumbled into his shoulder, your voice being muffled by the fabric of his shirt. It was one of your favourites, a dark blue that suited him well. Graves reached a hand up, holding the back of your head and slowly swaying from side to side.
“How were your little cowboy friends? Better drivers than me?” Graves asked, making you groan, remembering how they were flirting with you all trip. The American chuckled at your response, continuing to hold you close.
“They just can’t seem to understand that I’m married. They think it’s impossible…I don’t know whether or not it’s a compliment and at this point, I don’t care.” You groaned, lifting your head up to meet his eyes. His smile, no matter how much of an asshole he was being, was always kind to you.
“Aww, baby.” Graves frowned, holding your face in his hands. You smiled and placed both your hands on his waist, both of you leaning forward to kiss. The two of you had missed the touch that you never seemed to get, this was a rare time.
You both went down to the couch, Graves on top of you as you made out. He moved one of his hands to hold you from the back and you put another in his hair, holding the platinum blonde locks as your passion rose to the surface.
“What the fuck?!” The accented yell caused you and Graves to pull apart and look where it came from. A very very shocked Alejandro and Rudy stood in the doorway, both caught off guard by the situation.
“W-What are you two doing here?” You asked as Graves pushed himself off of you so you could speak to the two men. They never visited this part of the base on purpose, avoiding Graves and his shadows like the plague.
“What are you doing here?” Alejandro retorted, pointing to the two of you with a confused look on his face.
“I’d say its pretty obvious what my husband is doing here.” Graves butted in, pointing to you with his thumb, causing both Alejandro and Rudy’s jaws to drop. You almost let out a laugh, instead choosing to hide your reaction and just look at them blankly.
“W-What did you say?” Rudy questioned Graves, looking over at him and then back to you. It was like he couldn’t believe that someone as sweet and kind as you…was married to Phillip Graves.
“Y/N is my husband. He wasn’t lying about being married, y’know?” Graves smiled a stupid shit eating grin at the two men’s reactions. They both looked over at him, then back to you seemingly in unison. You could only lift up your hands a bit and give a ‘sorry smile’ to them.
“B-But if not us…why him?”
“COME ON, Y/N. YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!” Alejandro added in, more fond of shouting than Rudy would ever be. You made eye contact with Graves while they yelled, trying to figure out why he was the one you were romantically interested in,
“D-Do you just have a thing for Americans?”
“Is he lying to you about how good of a person he is?”
“What type of car does he drive?”
'HE'S THE WORST, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"
“Fuckin white people, taking everything anyone else wants.”
"WHY HIM OF ALL PEOPLE?"
While the two Mexican men started rambling and guessing why you would be with Graves and not them, you and Graves decided to share another kiss while they argued, effectively shutting them both up.
“You two,” You started as now you finally had their attention. “We’re with each other because we love each other…simple.” You smiled, watching them take in the fact that you actually might just love Graves.
There was a silence while they processed that, a deafening silence and if anyone came past the room, they’d assume there was no life in there. It stayed for a minute before Alejandro spoke up.
“This isn’t over, white boy.” He vaguely threatened, making ‘watching you’ hand gestures and walking out of the room backwards, maintaining eye contact with Graves the whole time.
“What he said.” Rudy added on, quickly walking after him, just keeping his head forward. When Alejandro bumped into the wall while trying to exit, Rudy grabbed his shoulder and they both muttered something to one another, Alejandro rubbing his head as he left.
“Were they high? What was that?” Graves asked, completely confused on what just went down. You didn’t know whether to defend them or not, because to be honest, you thought they were as well.
“I have no clue…” You whispered, turning back to Graves and laying back down on the couch in the position you were in before. The blonde saw this and smiled, laying down back on top of you, not kissing you, just laying there.
“We can deal with them later.” He whispered, closing his eyes and just laying there with you. You smiled, placing your hand in his hair and mentally preparing yourself for whatever the dynamic duo were going to try next. You had no idea what it was going to be, but you just hoped they wouldn’t resort to trying to kill Graves. But, there was no saying what those men would stoop to to win your affection.
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