#I'll probably try to flesh it out more in a second book
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Cadybear's Reviews- My Two First Loves
Welcome to the twenty-seventh official Cadybear's Reviews! Today I'll be talking about My Two First Loves, which I have ranked on the "Rotting Flesh Tier" at 2 stars out of a possible 10. My last and only playthrough of this was back in April-June 2021.
Oh boy! Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I could write a whole essay on everything wrong with this…
So I will.
To put it briefly: this story feels like it was adapted from a Wattpad story that was written by a 12-year-old whose only ever exposure to high school media and depictions of teenage sexuality was Glee, and then had serious queer and mature themes slapped onto it in order to make it seem better. Y’know, the equivalent of trying to polish a turd.
Or, heck, it’s probably PB’s attempt at ripping off “The Kissing Booth”, seeing as both have a MC in a love triangle between her childhood best friend and a bad boy named Noah, after all. Which, funnily enough, was also originally adapted from some tween’s Wattpad story. That’s about the equivalent to a dog eating some rotten food, shitting it out, then another dog finds it, eats it, and then shits it right out again. And THEN that second dog’s owner comes along to try to polish that double-toured turd.
Number 1: The LGBTQ+ tag is clearly an attempt to appease the queer players that they probably think are being whiny.
Ava’s arc about realizing she’s a lesbian who had been experiencing compulsory heterosexuality is pretty solid in a vacuum. But her being an LI was so blatantly only a last-minute decision PB made during the writing process, and it shows because Ava’s CG just uses her game sprite while Mason’s and Noah’s are fresh art.
MC starts to fall for Ava sometime around at least 30 chapters in, but we don’t get to officially pursue her as a romance option until about 70 chapters in. I get delaying her as a love interest a bit because of the whole thing with MC realizing she’s bi, but even then, there’s just so few opportunities for building any kind of relationship with her that it hardly feels authentic.
Speaking of, MC’s supposed bi awakening is completely rushed and treated with about as much value as a Family Guy cutaway gag, even outside of Ava being sidelined. As someone who realized I wasn’t straight three years ago and is still questioning if I’m bi or straight, I understand that people take different amounts of time to figure out their sexuality. But this MC does not spend any period of time figuring out her bisexuality. She basically just goes “Welp, guess I’m bi now”, and then it’s back to being indecisive as per usual except now there’s a female love interest in the mix too.
To add insult to injury, "discussions of sexuality" is placed in a "player discretion" warning, alongside "racial tensions" and "occasionally violence" to boot. How the fuck is discussion of sexuality even remotely on the same level as either of those? If they meant discussions or depictions of homophobia then maybe I could understand… but I don’t even recall seeing any depictions of homophobia in the book, so including this in the freaking warning tags is pointless at best and kind of insulting at worst.
Not to mention, plenty of other Choices books like MOTY, ILS, D&D, etc. have had discussions about sexuality/LGBTQ+ stuff before, and didn't have to warn us about it. Not even MAH, a later book which had discussions about freaking conversion therapy for Christ’s sake. Sure, some of those books did have content warnings, but they were generally vague and/or mainly warned for violence, and didn’t warn specifically for depictions of queerphobia or discussions of sexuality. Yet for some reason, MTFL feels the need to include a player discretion warning for sexuality discussions, even though it contains far less harsher queer themes.
Number 2: The portrayal of teen sexuality in this does not feel earnest.
Let me just say, I found it very jarring how this one was much more sexually charged compared to PB’s other high school books. PB is usually way more “safe” and PG-13 at most when writing high school characters. Even in books like ROD and WEH, where the characters are 18+ and do have smutty scenes, it’s clear that those books are a lot more restricted compared to the adult cast books.
I mean, with WEH, the safeness makes sense– it was meant to be a serious and tender story from the start, and it does actually follow through on those themes. But ROD feels like it could have easily been as horny with its writing as MTFL was, what with being about a studious “good girl” who goes rebellious. In fact, the story’s loading screen was pretty infamous at first for looking “steamier” than other covers and loading screens.
In actuality though, ROD had only, what, one smut scene? And despite a lot of MC’s outfits being revealing or arguably sensual, there are practically no moments where MC fawned over how “sexy” a revealing diamond outfit looked. Like, I’m pretty sure there were just little to no sexually charged scenes in general.
My point is, whatever compelled PB to make MTFL *this* sexualized is beyond me. My guess is the fact that PB called this one a story about “navigating sexuality” and thus wanted to focus more on the aspects of sexuality, but if that’s the case… hoo boy, did they do a terrible job at it.
I don’t really care about the hypersexualized writing of the teenage characters on its own, or how the characters were initially not confirmed 18+ when the earlier smut scenes were written. What I find far more important is the fact that this sort of cliche and formulaic hypersexualized writing is in a book that markets itself as being about “a young woman navigating love and sexuality for the first time”.
Teens do indeed have sex and can be all over the place with their hormones and sexuality. A lot of us have been there in some way, myself included. And there are ways to talk about that type of stuff in a manner that is silly and/or exaggerated, but still earnest and respectful. But the particular way that MTFL handles super-horny teen sexuality, specifically while claiming to be a coming-of-age story, is neither earnest nor respectful.
The way this story handles these sorts of topics is the writing equivalent to doing a surgery with Fisher-Price toy surgery tools. It’s genuinely difficult to take MC “navigating her sexuality for the first time” seriously when has to constantly blubber about how Mason and Noah are so muscular or how a diamond outfit has “naughty little thigh highs” or how she wants to do a “down and dirty” cheer routine with Ava for Mason and Noah.
That last one especially feels like the kind of stuff we’d see more in a campy chick flick that doesn’t take itself seriously. Honestly, if this was a more campy high school book with the tone of DLS or the 2023 movie “Bottoms”, it probably wouldn’t be as glaring. But in a book that markets itself as a coming-of-age story, the tone feels completely off and the whole book honestly felt like it couldn't decide what it wanted to be.
(Also, while we’re on this topic of MC’s premium outfits, I really fucking despise how MC gets so upset about wearing "mom clothes" if you choose to wear the free modest clothing instead of the revealing diamond outfit in Chapter 2. Ugh. Yes, the dad was being shitty about not letting MC dress how she likes, but all it does is it just makes you feel like shit for not wanting to dress in more revealing clothes. Stop making me feel bad for wanting to wear simple non-revealing clothing. Same goes for you, Chris Romantic Getaway story with your “the regular jerseys aren’t cute enough for girls to wear, we have to cut one up into a cleavage crop top in order to make it good for us girls to wear” bullshit.)
And it just slaps you in the face with these sexual moments too, placing them in frequently whenever it feels like it, and the amount of it that actually contributed to any coming-of-age navigating-sexuality are few and far between. Honestly, it felt like it was trying way too hard to look "mature" with how it handled sexuality (as well as some of the other stuff like them drinking alcohol). Like it maybe was trying to portray teens realistically, but it only does so at a very shallow level.
It's literally just "Look at the teens that talk about sex and like doing sexy things and having sex and doing grown-up stuff like drinking alcohol, see how MATUUURRREEE they are!" and they don't do anything more with it. It's just tacked on so they can pretend their book is a realistic story about maturing/being mature, when it fails at actually doing so.
I mean, I guess you could argue that the MC is meant to be seen as more messy and hormonal. And in that case, I could give it a pass. But, again, MC’s supposed arc of “navigating sexuality” never goes anywhere from that until the very last few chapters where you choose which LI she ends up with. It’s pretty much the same crap all throughout the book. MC doesn’t navigate sexuality, she just runs around aimlessly in it like a chicken with its head cut off.
Number 3: All the serious themes they try to have in the story are overshadowed by MC’s stupid indecisiveness plot.
I’ve already said MTFL tries way too hard to make its story seem “mature” with the trashy way it sexualizes its characters. I’ve said it feels like it doesn’t know what it wants to be. Honestly though, this just sums up MTFL’s writing in general.
MTFL has quite a handful of subplots, and I will admit, all of them are pretty compelling. You have Ava figuring out she’s lesbian, Mack dealing with gang drama, and Mason and Noah dealing with their past and Mason’s dad’s abusive behaviors. And an admittedly decent arc about MC discovering her love for photography instead of cheerleading.
And then you have MC going on about how she can’t decide between her love interests, which is just the bad apple of the bunch that ruins the rest. It just makes it very hard to take everything else seriously. You ever seen that one meme where the Power Rangers put their hands in a circle but then a Teletubbie tries to join in? It’s the writing-equivalent to that, and MC’s indecisiveness plot is the Teletubbie.
And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if MC’s indecisiveness wasn’t the main focus plot of the whole book. I want to take these other storylines seriously. I want to take this story as a whole seriously. But how can I when the main focus of the story is so god damn shallow? No matter how many "soft positive heartfelt" piano tracks and “so sad and tragic sad” piano tracks from WEH they try put over it, it doesn't change the fact that the focus is MC going on and on about being unable to choose between Mason, Noah, and Ava.
I get teens are shallow and can have shallow issues, but did we really need it to be that big of a focus of the story? Especially when the way it handles it is completely empty? Something like OG HSS was great because even though a lot of the issues the characters had were seemingly shallow and basic (such as the band fighting over which song to play), they do give a little more depth to it and reason to care about it (ie. Aiden starts to feel like a failure at music because of the band infighting). MTFL just throws MC’s indecisiveness at you for 95 chapters and expects you to take it seriously with nothing else surrounding it.
And they try to pull the twist on the title at the end where it’s all like “LI and photography, the two greatest loves of MC’s life”. Which is an interesting idea in concept, except it feels so artificial and non-earned when MC’s romance plot was spending 95 chapters being unable to decide between the LIs.
Number 4: It reuses way too much from HSS.
I know this is a less severe issue, but I just can’t get past it. Sprites, backgrounds, school colors… even plot points like the corrupt principal embezzling from the school, or MC and LI(s) being locked in a large school room (remember when HSS:CA MC and Ajay were locked in the auditorium?). Heck, even MC having lost her mom and having a photography passion connected to that, rings way too similar to one of Autumn’s arcs from the freaking HSS PRIME GAME! Oh yeah, and both of those characters have a love triangle with a golden boy and a bad boy. Holy hell.
Easily the most noticeable part is the sprites. In my playthrough, I counted 7 whole HSS sprites that were used in MTFL: Sydney became Iris, Payton became Toni, Frank became this random kid in a flashback for Mason and Noah's past, Morgan became a kid in Elijah's gang named Lucy, Lorenzo became Chad, Aiden's mom became Asian Noah's mom, Skye's dad became White Mason's dad (PB really said use that sprite for abusive dads huh). And there’s probably more, I’m sure.
And the worst offense? They even reuse the iconic bird's-eye view of Berry High in MTFL. Call me petty if you must, but that's just criminal. It's one thing to reuse and alter a bunch of the sprites, uniforms, and backgrounds from the series but to reuse another book series' iconic background like that? Honestly, it feels rather insulting. They couldn't even be arsed to change the "Go Tigers!" on the football field, that’s how little sense it makes to use that background outside of HSS. Fuck’s sake.
I know it’s kind of the norm for Choices to reuse assets throughout different series, but the fact that they do it so much here and majority of it is from HSS just rubs me the wrong way. At best, it’s jarring and lazy. And at worst, it comes off as trying way too hard to be a “more mature” version of HSS. When in reality, it makes HSS:CA’s side characters look like Citizen Kane in comparison. I mean, at least Clint and Natalie and MC stopped whinging about Rory ⅓rd of the way through the series.
At least when other high-school-setting books like ROD, WEH, and ILITW were made, they at least somewhat bothered to change up a few things and make it feel like an actually different school. They changed up the backgrounds a bit, used different school colors and uniforms, and didn’t reuse nearly as many sprites from HSS.
In MTFL, all they did was make new cheer uniforms for the non-reused sprites and remove the Berry High logos from everything HSS that they used. Yeah they made some changes, but it’s clear that they didn’t put nearly the same amount of effort into it as they did in the other high school setting books.
All it does is just make me miss HSS. Like, stop toying with my heart by piggybacking off of a better series (that has better queer rep too) so much. It’s to the point where it feels like they should have just used the time making this book to instead make a HSS senior year (Which, y’know, would be nice, especially since the sendoff we got in HSS:CA 3 was absolute flaming fucking garbage).
So… in all honesty, I don’t hate this book. But it had a lot of things that annoyed me to no end and it sure as fuck is disappointing wasted potential. It had a great opportunity to be a nice queer coming-of-age story. But instead it felt like a Kissing Booth rip-off with serious themes only hamfisted in order to make it seem more “mature”.
#choices stories you play#choices#choices game#choices stories we play fandom#choices stories we play#choices mtfl#mtfl#my two first loves#choices my two first loves
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Gideon the Ninth audiobook, through to the end of Chapter 31
Cytherea is described as having "biscuit-colored curls" which I kind passed over the first time I was reading. She's described elsewhere as having light brown hair; American biscuits aren't any kind of brown, if they're made right, but Muir isn't American, either. In Britain, it's my understanding that "biscuit" refers to any hard flat cookie with a stamped design, but those come in all sorts of colors. Does "biscuit" mean a secret third thing in New Zealand?
Gideon says "it's stupid for a cavalier to watch their necromancer die" which I think sort of foreshadows Gideon rejecting Harrow's instruction to survive her
Gideon asks Cytherea why she came to Canaan House in the first place, and I feel like Cytherea's answer is about when she came the first time, nearly 10,000 years ago? She talks about how the Seventh wanted her to die beautifully and she though the Emperor had her best interests more at heart than they did
She says: "If they could figure out how to stop you when you're mostly cancer and just a little bit woman, they would" about the Seventh, but that's exactly what John did to her, isn't it?
And then: "I'll probably live forever, worse luck, whatever happened to One Flesh, One End?"
Palamedes pronounces "golem" exactly like "Gollum" and that amuses me
Harrow thought the secret to Lyctorhood was a secret power source in Canaan House they were supposed to discover - I guess to the extent that the consumed cavalier's soul is a power source, she wasn't exactly wrong
Camilla: "The last thing the Warden needs is an introduction to Lady Septimus" - pretty funny in retrospect
Palamedes after Harrow removes the plug Cytherea put on the Seventh lab's keyhole: "Did you hide the last key, too?" He was right about that
Colum is described as having a "perpetually scratchy voice" which I missed the first time, but it does match up with his voice here
Mayonnaise Uncle thinks Gideon's red hair might have come from the Third, which is I guess some extra information about the distribution of phenotypes in the Empire, but the only other redheaded House character we know of is G1deon (I almost wrote "Pyrrha") (who, ironically, is not biologically related to Gideon Nav unless he was like John's cousin or something). Mercy had "pink" hair, but I don't know if that means like, strawberry blond, or like, literally dyed pink. I guess it's been 10,000 years, so things might be a bit different now
Colum: "The next time we meet, I think it's likely one of us will die." Well, it wasn't the next time they met, since they both showed up to hear Cytherea tell a very fake story about why Protesilaus was already dead just after this, but I think it's the next time they are both in the same room together than Colum dies, so, yeah
Teacher says something about a "poor child" and Gideon doesn't know who he's referring to and I don't either even on the second readthrough. I guess it's possible that he's just talking nonsense, because he's a weird construct, but he's been saying things that consistently make sense in the current context throughout the whole book, so I don't really buy that
The scene where Corona is practicing with a sword and challenging Gideon to a duel feels kind of like she's anticipating being left behind by Ianthe and is trying to lean into the idea of becoming a cavalier after this, since she can't pretend to be a necromancer without Ianthe. We know from the Fourth teens that Ianthe has been sneaking into all the locked doors and reading the theorems at this point
When Naberius comes to collect her, he says "I won't tell her". I guess he means Ianthe?
Is that really how "beatified" is pronounced? I don't think I've ever heard it spoken before. Wiktionary seems to agree that it is
If I had listened to the audiobook first, I definitely would have misheard Gideon talking about "narking" on Harrow as "knocking" and been confused
Palamedes: "All I ask is that you put some pen and flimsy in my cell so I can start my memoirs." Yeah, that's not what you wrote when you were actually confined to the River bubble for months, haha
Narration: Suddenly [Cytherea] seemed impossibly old.
Cytherea claims that John was against soul siphoning. So, the thalergy siphoning that was a fundamental part of Mercy's challenge, and which the Second House uses regularly on enemies, is totally fine and cool, but Mayonnaise Uncle send Colum's soul away temporarily to generate power is wrong. You know, Mayonnaise Uncle is actually a lot more sympathetic on the second readthrough
Mayonnaise Uncle also really had Cytherea's number in this scene and no one listened to him, he was the only one saying that Cytherea was suspicious and everyone else was disgusted by this, including Judith. No wonder he was so sour in Harrow's River bubble
Harrow wants to use Protesilaus' head for necromancy and everyone else is unhappy about this. But this isn't strange for the Nine Houses - the Canaan House skeletons were made from the dead just like the Ninth skeletons were, and just like the Sixth skeletons were in Dr. Sex, not to mention Ianthe's use of Babs' body. Like, if we are going to start complaining about the desecration of dead bodies now, I think that starts to call into question the entire way that the Nine Houses uses necromancy and has been using it for the past 10,000 years. I'm not sure any of the other necromancers really have that high ground
Palamedes says Cytherea only has days left to live, she definitely giggles at that
In the pool scene, Harrow says that the calculations for the deaths of the 200 children were very precise, and that the babies contributed the most thanergy. Now I'm wondering if Gideon failing to die might have messed up those careful calculations in some way? Obviously Harrow was still born a powerful necromancer, and it still worked overall, but now I'm curious
Harrow about John's blood ward: "I knew it had to open for me" because she was the descendant of Anastasia. She never questioned that there might have been some other reason it opened
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The Foreign Queen, Part 6
Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader
Summary: Aemond learns to speak Hindi, and that you have been hiding a lot more than you had let on.
Word Count: 2.5k
A/N: Not proofread. Also this might be the last chapter in a few days because I have finals :( and i probably wouldn't be able to update. Also I don't really like how this turned out, but I'll let you know if I ever redo this.
Series Masterlist | HOTD Masterlist
You had spent the better part of the week trying to teach Aemond Hindi. He had picked it up surprisingly fast with all the time he had spent in your camps - something that made you respect him even more. But his understanding of Hindi was not a problem - the problem was that his accent was too thick. It became easier to interpret the more he spoke, and he didn’t have much time to master it either. And you had barely any time to teach him the proper writing. The young man could barely even read hindi, the script totally unfamiliar to him.
Now it was time to go talk with your father, the emperor. Alicent had been persistent, and honestly you couldn’t blame her. In this game of thrones, anything left to probability could mean major losses and/or death. It was a dangerous gamble that she played, sending her second son away; what if you were sided with the Blacks and were plotting to kill him? That would mean the loss of one of the best fighters on the Greens, something they could not take.
You looked at the young man sitting in front of you, nose stuck in the small leather bound book you had gifted him for his reading. He was in his signature black leather tunic, one leg crossed over the other on the armchair by the fireplace in the castle’s isolated library. You were dressed in a light green chikankari kurti feeling relaxed as you watched Aemond’s sharp face: he was a great fighter, and in a fair battle it would be a good challenge to subdue him, but you had no intentions of it, for he hadn’t given you a reason to yet.
“This is a legend or is it history?” Aemond asked.
“Which one are you reading?”
“The one with Bhagwan Ram went hunting Maareech,” He said.
“It depends on your belief,” You said, shrugging. “There is some evidence of the events being true, and I, for one, believe that it's based on true events, but with modification as the ages come to pass.”
“Hmm,” He acknowledged, then returned to burying his nose in the little book. You hadn’t told him yet, but you had written the pages yourself in two days and had the parchment bound by one of your best book-makers available.
While he practised Hindi, you went to explore the seemingly abandoned library. The front parts of the library seemed frequented, it was clean and arranged in order by subject. Tales of Old Valyria, How Aegon the Conqueror won Westeros, the Social Order, An Expansive History of Westeros and Essos, Maegor Targaryen: The Cruel, The Mystery of Life and Death, Aegon and Conqueror and His Sister-Wives, The Old Gods, The New Gods, Dragons: From Hatchling to Fighter…
There were many, many more. But these were the books with the most worn spines. As you further wandered into the library, you saw many old texts - some in High Valyrian, others in English.
As you wandered, you reached a much secluded, dust covered corner of the library, your eyes wandered as you scanned the books. Liberation, one of the titles said. Curious, you touched the dusty spine of the book and pulled it out, the soft leather creased at the bottom. It looked like it hadn’t been touched in ages.
You turned over the delicate pages, trying not to damage the old book, when you saw a mildly scandalising image drawn on the margin. It was the drawing of a beautiful naked woman, her face contorted in pleasure and her hand touching herself. You skimmed over the page, the crass descriptions of the pleasures of the flesh filled your mind. Your body heated up at your scandalous discovery, and a loud sneeze escaped you as the dust particles tickled your nose.
You skimmed over the other pages, finding far more detailed explanations of the sex acts - involving vivid descriptions of the female and the male body parts that left nothing to the imagination. The use of the mouth, the hands, and pleasure points other than the genitalia - everything was there. This chapter held the crass use of the tongue as a muscle to pleasure your partner-
The sound of your name on Aemond’s mouth snapped you out of the reverie - and every cell in your body seemed to be set on fire. You looked up at him, snapping the book shut, and sneezing once again as the dust bothered your nose.
Aemond studied you with his one eye, waiting for you to say something. You cleared your throat, trying to find the words to describe your discovery without crossing any etiquette lines, but you were unsuccessful. You had words to describe different ways to kill a man but no words for the carnal acts.
“You look like you’ve been caught doing something morbid,” He finally said at your flushed state.
“I am scandalised,” You said, clearing your throat once again. “This is…” you just handed him the book, gauging his reaction. His eyebrow furrowed as he scanned the pages quickly, a tinge of crimson appearing on the sharp planes of his face as realisation dawned on him. He too cleared his throat then put the book away.
“Let’s not dwell on it,” He said, avoiding your gaze the entire time.
“Tell me, my Prince,” you started. “How long will it take your Vhagar to fly to the green island of Essos?”
“Might take two and ten hours or so of flight,” he said, pale cheeks still tinged pink.
“Do you trust Vhagar to follow you if we were to dismount her?” You asked, forcing the embarrassment out of your nerves.
.
Early next morning you said see you later to your people, left Raman in-charge during your absence, hugged Alicent, then mounted Vhagar with Aemond’s help and flew into the cool morning air with your potential husband.
Last evening, Aemond had taken you to meet Vhagar - given that the old beast didn’t attack you, you were content - and now she let you ride her, and for that you kept silently thanking her, scratching her scales that you could reach from the saddle. Your front was pressed into Aemond’s back - you were a little surprised on feeling his firm muscles. As you got used to the cold air slapping your face, you eased into it, sighing as you extended your arms and pretended to fly.
“This is so fun!” You screamed over the wind howling in your ears.
“I know!” Aemond yelled, sound the happiest that you had ever heard him.
After a while your arms tired and you got cold, the fog dampening your leather riding clothes. You rubbed your hands together in the little space between your chest and Aemond’s back, your teeth chattering.
“Are you cold, my princess?” He asked, having to scream to be heard over the wind.
“Only a little,” you managed to say, unsure of how much he heard with the howling wind and the chattering of your teeth.
“Hold on to me,” Aemond said after a moment. “It’ll give you warmth,”
You hesitated for a moment, the need for warmth overpowering the desire to maintain proper etiquette. Even with the cold, he was still warm and you supposed, the blood of the dragon is hot. With your cheek pressed against his shoulder and the smell of leather, parchment and smoke taking over you as you felt the firm muscles of his stomach, your body warmed for a different reason altogether.
Now, the sun was dipping in the horizon as you spotted your destination for the night. Aemond commanded Vhagar to land on the easternmost coast and she followed. You stretched out your tight limbs and went to relieve yourself as Aemond made sure that Vhagar was fed and comfortable. When you returned, you thanked Vhagar and scratched lightly at her massive head, and the she-beast purred, shaking the ground below you.
You and Aemond quickly made camp in a makeshift tent using the thin leather and cotton canvas you had brought along with you. You fell asleep beside Vhagar’s protection and Aemond’s warm back against yours, exhausted from the day of flying. Tomorrow morning, you would show him what it was like to ride a foreign beast, eager to get back your vritra, Mansha.
You should tell Aemond beforehand about your three-headed friend, lest it scares him away.
When Aemond woke up the next morning, he missed your absence. You were knee deep in water, the two pointer fingers held up to your mouth and you whistled, the sound loud and piercing to his ears. Vhagar’s massive body rumbled at the disturbance, shaking the ground below him.
His scar itches, and he wants to take off his eye-patch, but he stops himself. He wasn’t ready for that just yet. Before he could raise his hands to scratch the itch, a massive form arose from the water. Aemond’s eye widens as three massive sea serpents come out of the water, closer to where you are standing, a crazed grin on your face. He hears you cackle like a maniac as the three serpents lurch toward you and the scream is more instinct than thought reaction.
Vhagar rises from her slumber, fangs bared and yellow eyes wide open as she sees the serpents, rises and snaps her jaw. The three serpents hiss back in return, their long forked tongues straight out of nightmares. He yells your name, demanding that you get back to safety, behind Vhagar, that he can deal with those serpents himself, when the sight before him stuns him to stillness.
“Mansha,” You call, your tone chiding. “They are friends,” you say in hindi, and he thinks you sound so different than when you speak in english. It rolls off your tongue easily, and he had spent hours thinking about your voice over and over.
“Vhagar, lykiri,” Aemond said, stroking her side. Sensing his confusion, she closes her jaw, but her yellow eyes are deeply focused on the three serpents.
“Mansha,” you call once again, and the three serpents snap their heads towards you, suddenly calm and inching closer. “I know, I missed you too,” you speak in hindi once again. As the three serpents rise out of the water, Aemond is stunned to see that it was in fact one snake, but with three heads. Its scales are pastel - light blue, mixing into green, mixing into purple. The serpent is large: each long head wide enough to be Vhagar’s tail, and he estimates it to be about thirty feet long.
Its beauty is terrifying, he thinks, much like yourself.
“Aemond,” you call, and his heart softens a little when he hears the sound of his name on your tongue, absent of any titles. He’s still wary of the serpent though. “Meet my vritra, her name is Mansha.” you said in english. “Mansha, meet Aemond and Vhagar, they are our friends.” you add in Hindi. One head is fixed on you, another is fixated on him, and the third one eyes Vhagar. The three heads have different eyes: the one on you is red, the one on him is yellow, and the one on Vhagar is black.
“What is vritra?” Aemond asked.
“Vritras are beasts, demons of the sea.” You explained with a smile on your face. “You have dragons, we have sea serpents.”
“This is the similarity you mentioned the other night,” He recalled.
“Indeed,” You said. “All of the descendants of the first emperor are free to claim their vritra once they turn twelve. I happened to claim the fastest and the most vicious of them all, the only one with three heads. Isn’t she beautiful?” you cooed at Mansha.
“She is lovely,” Aemond tried to speak in Hindi, and you flash him a proud smile at his correct pronunciations. “Now what?”
“Now we both go to my queendom, Kalinga, and we invite my father.” You said.
“What do you mean by your queendom?” Aemond asked. He knew it, deep in his gut, that you were more powerful than you had let on, but this was shocking. Apparently today was the day that the ever-observant Aemond would be left stupefied.
“My father is the emperor of Bharat.” You said. “Kalinga is the east-coast province, and I am the Queen of Kalinga.”
“Well then, I must apologise for addressing you wrongly this whole time, My Queen.” He said, bowing. “Or would you prefer Your Grace?”
“I like the sound of My Queen,” you said, giving him a shy smile, as if you weren’t just cooing at a serpent who could kill anyone in three ways. “My prince,”
“And how exactly do we reach Kalinga?” He asked, already dreading the answer.
“We ride Mansha,” you said, the maniacal gleam returning to your face.
“And what of Vhagar?” Aemond asked, piecing together little bits of your earlier conversations.
“Vhagar follows us.” You said. “She can only rest on the coast, I don’t think I have clearings big enough to keep her.”
.
Reluctantly, Aemond throws one leg over Mansha’s thick body and sits behind you, hands slipping on the serpent’s beautiful scales. The salt water was irritating his scar, and wanted nothing more than to rip the patch off. And he did. He didn’t let you see that, but he removed his eye patch and instead gathered his silver hair in the leather, tightening the strap.
“Ready?” You asked, voice cheery. He wondered if he sounded like that whenever he got to ride Vhagar.
“Yeah,” Aemond said, swallowing his fears.
“Hold on to me.” You said, voice heavy with warning. “Tightly.”
His stomach dropped as the serpent slithered into the water, barely keeping you above the surface. He was terrified, but the adrenaline was welcome, and he forced his eye to stay open and take in the massive ocean, deadly as it was beautiful.
In some ways, it wasn’t too different from riding Vhagar, but it just didn’t give him the same thrill. You, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying yourself. Too much. But to your credit, the serpent was faster than any beast he had ever ridden, and it seemed to have covered the intimidating expanse of the ocean in just over an hour.
Just as you neared the coast and Mansha slowed down, he took the liberty of letting go of your warm body and undid his hair, placing the eyepatch back in its original place, covering his sapphire.
Mansha had dropped you at a beautiful coast with golden sand and the warm sun shining, the warmth welcome after the ocean.
“Mansha, go and make sure Vhagar doesn’t get lost,” you said, patting the beast’s middle head. “Bring her here, okay?”
“Welcome to Kalinga, my Prince Aemond,” you said, smiling. “I hope I will be a good host to you as you have been to me.”
.
.
.
Tags:
@km-ffluv @stargaryenx @thenovelcarnival @afro-hispwriter @mynameisbaby9 @depressedperson88
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Editing question: in a fantasy book, what ratio should "describing the world" to "main story line" be? Or, at least, what do you recommend?
Thanks for your question! I think a lot of this depends on your writing style; some authors are going to focus primarily on the main storyline and keep it fast-paced, but others (like Mr. Tolkein) are going to weave in a ton of worldbuilding. Both of these can be done very successfully!
From a purely editing standpoint, I typically look at how the placement of the worldbuilding is affecting the story's flow. Am I getting bored or forgetting what the characters were doing because there is such a large amount of exposition in the middle or beginning of a scene? Could some of the information be condensed to be more easily digestible? Conversely, is the story barely mentioning some piece of worldbuilding that I think would be FASCINATING to learn more about, and would appreciate the author dwelling on for a moment? I think there's a good balance to be found there, and if I'm doing more thorough editing (copyediting or developmental), I'll probably leave a comment on the document mentioning what I think could help the scene flow a little better. Overall, I wouldn't worry about it too much in your first draft; trimming stuff down or fleshing things out is something you can typically do on the second draft after you get the overall story nailed down. =)*
(*I say this, but I myself definitely tend to fiddle with scenes and add/subtract stuff in the middle of my first draft ALL THE TIME XD This isn't a hard and fast rule, just a suggestion that sometimes helps people finish.)
One helpful tip that I have run into myself (in my own fantasy setting) and had pointed out to me by other readers: Try not to throw in too many new, fictional words and names right off the bat. It can be a little difficult for readers to get a grip on the story if they're dealing with a ton of new vocabulary, and a lot of worldbuilding can be woven in more gently throughout the story as bits become relevant. You can always dedicate a few pages to describing the more intricate nuances of your magic system after we're already invested in the hero's trip to the citadel to avenge his grandparents' burned unicorn farm, or what have you.
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hey besties i have fanfic-themed but not directly plot-related questions! well, mostly
question 1) do yall have any favorite zombie media? was there anything in particular that yall are drawing on for your fic?
personally i've been scared of zombie movies all my life lol but because of tamn i've finally been trying to finish the world war z audiobook? (the last time i tried getting thru it was pre covid which has been. a weird experience) it's fully voice acted and i like it so far! super different from the 2013 movie with brad pitt
question 2) :3 do you guys think you'd be up to talk about the no-apocalypse au where scarian get to have a normal breakup someday? :3 it doesn't have to be now or anytime soon but i'd be into hearing about it!
anyways hope yall are having a good day lock and key ^_^
These are some really REALLY good questions!!!
for starters! for me (Lock) I actually didn't start watching zombie media until Key introduced me to it! We watched the Korean series All Of Us Are Dead together, and then followed it with Last Of Us (the tv adaptation) and the first seasons of The Walking Dead, so I've have a very curated window into zombie media (actually! We watched Walking Dead as research for TAMN, because Key wanted to make sure I understood what hordes of zombies in cities look like!)
As for Key's zombie exposure (lol): I (Key) WAS BIG INTO ZOMBIES GROWING UP!! Constant zombie media consumption--probably one of my earliest hyperfixations ngl I feel like what we're drawing on while we write TAMN is an amalgamation of all our favourite bits from the things we've seen together, as well as some of my favourite formative zombie medias while growing up.
The Walking Dead Season 1 remains like, one of my all-time favourite seasons of any television show ever, so that's definitely a big influence. (Some of the later seasons get a lot less of my love LOL) The Korean movie Train to Busan is also a popular one you may have heard of--I'd definitely recommend giving that a go if you're okay with zombie media that veer on the side of tragic. When The Last of Us (Part One) came out, it quickly became my favourite zombie-oriented video game, though a lot of its predecessors (Resident Evil series esp.) really gripped me (even though it took me ages to play-through cuz they would scare the shit out of me LMAO) Its TV show is also an excellent adaptation, so if you're not into playing it or watching a Let's Play, the show is a good bet! The UK series In the Flesh was also an interesting look into After™ the apocalypse, and though it was cancelled after it's second season, it's also worth a watch for a fresh perspective on zombie media. 28 Days Later was an excellent movie and ofc Dawn of the Dead is a classic. And then the usual comedies like Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, etc.
I saw World War Z as a movie but never read the book! I should def give it a try--idk why I never did! God, honestly I could ramble about zombie media forever if given the chance 😂 None of this even begins to cover the sheer amount of zombie comics I read. I was very much a "webcomic" era kid, so a lot of my favourite old original zombie comics are either offline now or I simply don't remember what they were called anymore, so I have no way to track them down :( I did recently enjoy the webtoon Boyfriend of the Dead as a light-hearted, humourous read, but there were a lot of gripping, nuanced, plot-heavy original comics like a decade ago that I loved and I wish I could link. ANYWAYS. I'LL STOP MYSELF HERE AND LET LOCK ANSWER QUESTION NUMBER 2 LMAO
HI IT'S LOCK. I'M BACK. Now, as for a non-apocalypse Scarian scenario, we've actually thought about this a LOT! One of our favourite things to do is make an AU, and then multiple "what if one key things was different" spinoffs of the same AU.
We're gonna put this under a read-more, in case you'd like to keep the "what if" a mystery forever, but to sum up:
In an alternate reality where Scar and Grian break up and then the zombie apocalypse doesn't happen........ they stay broken up! Scar gets what he longs for in the fic: time away from Grian to hurt and grieve and heal with the support of his close friends who care about him.
It takes him a while until he feels ready to date again, but Scar does eventually start a new relationship with someone he knows really well, and has loved and trusted for a long time. They get engaged and start planning their wedding..............
............. and then Grian comes back and says he's sorry, that he misses Scar, that he was wrong, and that he doesn't want to be without him. And Scar................... takes him back.
It's-- listen, it's not the best possible outcome! But we're basing heavily on the Life Series Scarian dynamic, which is itself incredibly nuanced and complicated and tragic and a little bit "you're both bad for each other." It's part soulmates, and it's part codependence, and it's partly killing the person you love with your bare hands alone in the desert, and how that guilt ends up haunting you into every other subsequent timeline. Grian's not the best person for Scar as he is, and Scar's not the best person for Grian, but they want to be with each other, and unfortunately that desire often overrides common sense.
As for what happens after that.... we don't know yet! It was a thought experiment we worked through and ultimately realised "oh, it's WAY better for them that the zombies DID happen in the long run, 'cause without them this would be awful." (Not that the zombies are great, but woof......... Scarian, c'mon.) In this version of events, they lose a lot of friends when Scar takes Grian back, and the isolation suits Scar poorly. It takes them a much longer time to work through how to be good for one another. If the zombie apocalypse was good for anything, it was forcing a reckoning of what they wanted and how to get it--the only other option was death. Without that hanging over their heads, it takes Scarian years to reach any sort of resolution, which (no spoilers but) takes TAMN!Scarian a much shorter amount of time to get to.
Hope that answers your question! The 'what ifs' are our favourite, so we love to ramble about them hahaha <3
#asks#anonymous#tamn#also love that you referred to us as bestie HAHA#I know it's in our username but it's so cute to hear used and directed at us#HOPE YOURE HAVING A GREAT DAY TOO!
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3, 13, 26 😊
3. My creative process almost always starts with a specific scene or trope in mind that I really want to see! So I'll start by writing that down, and then build the fic around it. Usually there's some brainstorming and/or bouncing ideas off of friends until I get a more solid idea of what I want the story to be.
At that point, it's pretty rare that I write scenes in order (thought I will do that on occasion for shorter pieces, like Whumptober entries, where I already have a pretty good idea of the exact trajectory for the whole thing). Instead, it tends to be writing the big scenes first--important plot or emotional beats--and then filling in and fleshing out from there! I also tend to edit as I go, which is actually something I'm trying to work on because I think there is a lot of value in getting a whole draft down and then reading through and reworking things as needed rather than getting stuck reworking one scene (or sentence) until it's "perfect". :D
13. A common writing tip I almost always follow, hmmm. Well, my favorite writing tip is to read a lot, which is something I did very well in my childhood/teen years and then fell out of the habit of as an adult (something I'm sure many people can, unfortunately, relate to). But recently, with the acquisition of my library card and the discovery of a love for audiobooks, I've been enjoying a lot more books which has had a really positive impact on my writing!
26. Ooh, I love this question! I'm not sure if it means what fic of mine is the wildest ride to read or the wildest ride to write. I'll go with the second option, though! Which would be The Broken Hearts Tour .
I wrote it for a Big Bang event and it marked a lot of firsts for me! It's my first overtly romantic fic, featured my first truly spicy scenes (still very tame lmao but for someone who grew up religious and somewhat sheltered it is spicy to me!), my first attempt at a new style of fic planning (which involved sooo many index cards), my first genre-bending AU...Probably more as well that I can't remember! I know I felt some stress and burnout during the writing process, but looking back on the experience all I feel for it is fondness. :)
Thanks so much for the ask!!!
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ULTRAKILL's references to Greek folklore
Wellp, here it is brought to you by a girl who can't shut up about a game she sucks at playing. ANYWAYS—
BEFORE YOU GO DOWN this is, to no one's surprise, filled with spoilers. While it's true that lore in this game is secondary, if you wanna learn it by yourself when playing it, then save this reading for later. Ultrakill is avaible at Steam, and there's for now an Early Access version in case you wanna try it before buying it. It's filled with blood, but it's still a masterpiece, me thinks.
!! - Guide of this thingy:
Introduction.
King Minos.
King Sisyphus (not full).
Honorable mentions ( mostly things that i'm probably imagining ).
1 - Introduction:
There's many people out there who have already talked about everything that reminds them of the Divine Comedy regarding the game, besides the fact that it takes inspiration in DMC too; but almost no one seems to notice the details that reference Greek folklore, and it's true that they are not THAT important, most likely i'm just imagining references in places where there are actually none, but this is what brainrot does to a girl. So wether they are true or not, i'll still will write this thing down or else i'll explode with my thoughts.
2 - King Minos:
To make it short, Minos was the king of the Lust Layer, he felt that the sinners of said layer did not deserve such punishment just for loving one another, and when God dissappeared and Heaven turned into chaos, he build next to the inhabitants of the layer a prosperous place. Sadly, when the council took control of Heaven back, they implied Minos' intentions had gone against God's will by freeing the sinners, and Gabriel was sent down to kill Minos.
Minos instead of fighting back, tried to find reason in the angel, but Gabriel didn't hear any of his words and ended him, imprisioning his soul.
"...Gabriel struck down Minos, his flesh torn asunder with torrents of crimson pooling at his feet as we all cried out for clarity. 'Justice,' Gabriel decreed to all, with our just ruler writhing in wailing agony, 'The Lord's Will be done.' We watched on in horror as Minos lay broken, now waning, screaming in defiance of God's Will, Gabriel."
Text from a book found in the second level of the Lust Layer.
Minos' corpse was now controlled by parasites and Gabriel was the new Judge of Hell. Oh, yeah, that's why thorns are blinding him. Justice is blind and Minos was, wellp, a Judge of Hell.
And here's when my shenanigan's begin!
So you see, it's true the first Minos we know from Greek folklore was a king, was made a Judge of Hell after his death too, and all the shenanigans... But can we see any of that in this Minos? While it's true that most of the things are original or coming from the Divine Comedy, here's this detail i spend some time thinking about:
"Despite once bringing upon the renaissance of the Lust layer, his corpse now only seeks sinners to punish."
Terminal data of The Corpse of King Minos from the game
While the Christian elements are heavy here ( Divine Comedy, WUH ) and we have the Father's name, God, therefore not many references to the Greek Gods ( specially knowing Minos was one of Zeus' sons ), this detail is what reminds me of him becoming the Judge of Hell in the original folclore.
Minos was so respected by everyone, even the gods, that they decided to make him a Judge of Hell. Meanwhile in Ultrakill, after Gabriel killed him and became the new Judge of Hell, they still kept his corpse searching for sinners to punish. Tragic and bittersweet, but apparently they still thought of his corpse as a Judge of Hell, even when no soul was with it. Just like Greek Minos was respected enough to be turned a judge in Hell, this Minos is respected enough to maintain his corpse as a Judge, just like he once was.
3 - King Sisyphus:
Since Sisyphus hasn't come out as a boss yet and we therefore don't have 100% his lore explained, I can more or less summarize it:
"King Sisyphus has acted in secret until now, amassing an army whose strength and numbers swell, but now there is no need to hide anymore. We have lived in the shadow of Heaven long enough to forget the taste of fear. Now the Sisyphean Insurrectionists prepare for war.
I have heard of Minos beginning a peaceful revolution, but our King Sisyphus knows such pacificity will gain no favor from our cruel captors. He knows that one can only fight power with power, and he shall lead us to freedom."
Text from a book found in the second level of the Greed Layer.
Minos decided to do a peaceful revolution, building his own shenanigans in the Lust Layer, but Sisyphus didn't think the same way; he decided to do a revolution too, but it was anything but peaceful.
Full terminal data of the Sisyphean Insurrectionists in the game:
"The Sisyphean Insurrectionists were an army of Husks gathered and trained by King Sisyphus for overthrowing Heaven's control of Hell, freeing the sinners from their eternal torment. [...]
Upon the establishment of the Council and subsequent return of peace to Heaven, Gabriel and an army of angels were sent down to crush the insurrection and subjugate Sisyphus' army.
Although their battle was well-fought, the inexperienced Insurrectionist could not match the educated strategy of the angels, who quickly descended upon King Sisyphus with great force, eventually overpowering and killing him, leaving the Insurrectionists without a chain of command.
Left scattered and disoriented, the warriors were easily picked off one by one, their bodies cut apart, leaving behind only the bare essentials to carry on their eternal punishment of hauling heavy boulders up the monuments of mankind's arrogance and greed.
Although the blood of their enemies still stains their bodies and their grasp still clutches their fallen foes, their will and fierce fury only serve as mental torment in knowing how close they were to freedom."
The Insurrectionists mantain Greek Sisyphus' original Hell punishment, carrying a rock up to the top of a mountain ( in the game, a pyramid ) that will eventually fall down again.
Now, more interesting details... Greek Sisyphus wasn't that much liked by the gods since he, wellp, cheated death a couple times, unlike Greek Minos who was so respected that he was turned into a Judge of Hell. So just like Greek Sisyphus was thrown into Hell with a punishment and Greek Minos was turned into a Judge of Hell; in this game, Minos' corpse is still used as some kind of Judge... more or else, as I said before. Meanwhile, Sisyphus corpse isn't used at all ( not yet, remember the game isn't finished ), it is just imprisoned with no head, even. Perhaps that has something to do with the Greek Sisyphus being punished instead of turning into a Judge of Hell, or similar, like the Greek Minos was? Or maybe i'm just imagining stuff. Hmm.
Oh, by the way, unlike Minos being blind being due to him being a Judge and Justice is blind; Sisyphus was blinded by greed, so he literally is blinded by gold.
4 - Honorable mentions ( mostly things that i'm probably imagining ):
You know I could just jump into Hakita ( developer ) and ask him "is this bullshit i came up with actual references?" but there are better things to do in life, I guess, sooooo let's leave them here, shall we?
THE ENTIRE LAYER OF WRATH is, for my stupid mind, an antire Odyssey reference. Except the last level i guess.
The entire layer is ambiented around boats and the sea. And while you can say 'odyssey' is a word used for 'really long travel' nowadays, my mind goes beyond that with this concept.
The first level of the layer is named "In the Wake of Poseidon", you have no idea how much i screamed when i first read it. Like, the first level, just like while in the Odyssey many stuff happens, before all of those stories are told, Odysseus is first thrown at the sea after leaving Calipso's island, by none other than Poseidon. If we go to the second level "Waves of the Starless Sea" we'll be, no shit Sherlock, in a sea. But full of broken boats, completely destroyed, just how Odysseus' small boat was left after Poseidon came at him. The third level is "Ship of Fools" and, okay, i'm sorry for saying this is Odyssey related too, but Odysseus' companions were, indeed, fools. ( The game has many DMC references too, so maybe i'm mixing things, but i'm no fan of DMC so uuuuhh ).
Also, the third level of Wrath, the boat, has an ost called "Death Odyssey" and it gets sinked down. If THAT doesn't ring a bell, what else does it?
The Ocean is literally called "Ocean Styx". Ring a bell? River Styx?
You can choose not to fight the Ferryman by giving him a coin. Ring another bell? Charon? The whole 'putting a coin in the corpse's mouth so that they could pay him in the Underworld to take them by the river' shenanigans?
Cerberus is the boss in the Prelude, who in later-game becomes a common enemy. Funny enough, he isn't shaped as a dog, but as a humanoid, and the explanation given in the terminal data of the game regarding that, is this one:
"Although they do not resemble the mythological three-headed dog, this name was chosen due to their nature as protectors of Hell."
Gotta love them for that.
WELLP that's all folks. Hope you had fun reading my ramblings, as usual. Feels good to be back into the essays world.
#this game makes me think about so many things. feel about so many things#Gabriel is still the big fave. but. sometimes i do think about those two kings......#Minos is pretty popular since he's been in the game for a while. hope Sisyphus eventually comes to beat out asses soon#it still surprises me they put names like Cerberus and Poseidon#in a game with God. Christianity and all that due to Divine Comedy shenanigans#pretty excited for the last act#this game has been my hyperfixation for a while and it's not even my fault#OKAY i'll go now. PLAY ULTRAKILL#greek mythology#essay#references
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How are you doing, apu?
I hope good...
Tesoro 💜 how are you? How life is treating you? Tell me something nice that happened to you recently.
Well, regarding Yoongi, ehm, I'm feeling a bit bittersweet, if it makes any sense. I mean, I was happy to see him (he looked sooo healthy and fine as always!) yesterday during the live and I'm so glad to know he's been resting and eating well and spending time with people who love him. He also got a haircut and I do not like that, no no. But he's still cute as hell tho. From what I understood, but take it with a pinch of salt 'cause I'm stupid and I'm probably wrong, he's going to do social service - I'm assuming due to his shoulder - which means he'll be able to go back home at the end of the day, sleep in his comfy bed, be in his house, work on music if he feels like it, see his friends and family a little bit more often. Also, if I remember correctly, in one of suchwita episodes, he said he wanted to experience a 9-5 job and that's another good point in his favor. The service time has also been reduced to 21 months, I think. But again, I could be wrong, I don't know. But yeah, I'm happy for him but I'm sad for me 'cause it hurts. In an extremely selfish way, I don't want him to go. And listen, I'm well aware that, practically, nothing will change in my life because Min Yoongi, flesh and bones, is not part of my daily, real life but. But. Still. Just the mere thought of him leaving... it hurts and I cannot tell why, I don't know the rational reason but I do know that the feeling is there. And it's pretty real. I'm really trying not to think about it 'cause 2025 will come, eventually. He's gonna come back to us. He promised.
About everything else, I'm a fucking mess. I went to the gynecologist 'cause my period is so bad I can't leave the house the first two days and she said I can't take the pill due my migraines which means I need to try the cup. Now, I bought the cup and period'll come within days but I'm scared. I'm fucking terrified. I believe I'll cry. About the bookstore, I've been doing researches, I've asked around (basically I annoyed the shit out of my poor cousin) and having it in a mall is a big no for two reasons: it's a much higher investment, obviously, and I should do it with some franchise BUT, in that case, I'll feel trapped, creatively speaking, because with them every store has to be the same and there isn't much you can do. But I have a different project (like, I've already thought about the name, I have 3, and I can already picture myself with brushes and paint and tools renovating the place.. I mean it, I can actually see myself doing it). I want a reading corner with pillows and blankets and I want to offer tea and cookies and pastries and I want to include second/third hand books so they can keep on living instead of collecting dust on a shelf. The first step is to find a place and rent it or buy it, I don't know. I know nothing, everything is new, big and scary and I wish my father would tell me 'hey, I know it's scary, it'll be challenging and still it may be a failure but I've got your back, I'm here' instead of 'I wouldn't do it, it's too much responsibilities, find an office job and don't think about it.' Thanks for the support, dad.
I could go on and on and on but I've run out of energy
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finished Six of Crows yesterday (yes I skipped shadow and bone entirely the opening exposition was annoying me buuuut I'll go back later. Blame my friend she said I should start with SoC) and I haven't started Crooked Kingdom (no spoilers please!) however I wanted to dump my thoughts for a bit (I probably ended up being overly critical so if this is your fav series maybe scroll by lol)
-the characters were the highlight of the story for me, super well executed banter. Tie between Kaz and Matthias for fav POV. (Kaz's backstory was especially well done, the way it influenced his actions throughout SoC was very natural)
-worldbuilding/lore was pretty easy to follow even though I did not read S&B or watch the show. magic system is pretty cool, excited to see it fleshed out in S&B
-not sure how I feel about how ship-happy this series is (maybe the author was trying to outrun ship war potential idk). possibly makes more sense when viewed as a series? (will have to update my opinion later) but overall having every main pov character paired off somewhat sappily by the end of book one was ehhh? I'm not opposed to romantic subplots but I felt they may have held too much influence in the main plot here.
-hrrmmm love me some GrimDark (not) (ok not when it's not done very impactfully imo) (mmmm let's not explore the ethics of casually taking lives for more than 0.5 seconds) (yes it's a fantasy book but still) (particularly Jesper's pov was ... odd) (he seemed to have issues with his actions but also didn't?) (maybe it will make more sense upon reread)
-Standard Heist Plot (no notes) (yes to explosives)
-ok back to the crit. one of the reviews in the front of my copy compared SoC to ASOIAF (haven't read it but I know enough to verify) and like yes actually it really did feel somewhat like aggressively PG-13 Game of Thrones. (I dunno this is more of a personal gripe with authors feeling the need to inject the sexual exploitation of women into their fantasy novels in order to be more Realistic) (especially when it's minors) (bleh)
-idk a lot of the side worldbuilding choices felt like something an edgy 14 year old would choose because they were Dark ™️
-however props for character design, the appearance/physicality of each of the Crows was wonderfully distinct
-not in loooove with the ending. It sets up book two nicely yes but kinda gave me KOTLC cliffhanger flashbacks
-sort of feels like this book is a sanitized adult fantasy novel with de-aged protagonists (could be being unfair here) and a YA plot
-no actually the number of times Nina's breasts are mentioned is absurdly high, the heck was up with that
-so Matthias being a ex-witch hunter = bad (duh) cause he was going to send Grisha to their deaths. Ok makes sense. Now tell me why Kaz/Inej/Jesper killing somewhat indiscriminately is not really addressed in moral terms beyond "necessary"? (Actually ignore this one for now I would need to do a reread before I have full thoughts on this) (But there will be thoughts)
-overall, I had a good time reading this book. Yeah I had problems with it but some of that could honestly stem from the fact that I am not 15 anymore and have different taste in books. (ok ok also I am actively comparing this with Lockwood and Co and I feel that series took equally dark topics but explored them much more maturely) (and honestly also Mistborn. That series also had dark worldbuilding but didn't linger on what it didn't have to?)
#maggie’s things#not going to tag this with soc or its characters for obvious reasons haha#maggie reads shadow and bone
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Another Drabble prompt for Dead End: Barney and Norma, while working as security guards, are having some trouble with some rowdy park guests so Courtney and Pugsley decide to help them deal with the trespassers/rowdy guests with a bit of magic and demonic trickery
It's really their fault, honestly. For being so damn amusing. Norma was very stiff and upfront, which Courtney appreciated, though some of the other humans seemed to find it off-putting. Barney, meanwhile, was trying waaaay too hard to be friendly and would bend over backwards with no applause. They make a strange duo; Barney trying to hand out coupons and platitudes while Norma hovers and corrects him on park procedure.
Courtney likes to follow them. How can she not? Human interactions are so strange- vapid and full of unnecessary politeness. Barney had said it was called "customer service".
Maybe it's lame to most demons, but a thousand years on this plane has given Courtney the kind of boredom that leaves even a colorful rock a thing to admire for hours. It's also a good touch whenever her snickers get a little too loud that one or the other will shoot her a reproachful glare.
But rude customers? Man, Courtney didn't know how the human population was booming. It seemed like every third human to enter the park had some petty complaint about something. 'Oh, no, my nachos were too soggy' like get over it. You don't hear Courtney bitching about living in some stupid falling apart hovel.
"What do you mean broken?"
Courtney's tongue flicked out with glee as she crept down the Pauline Phoenix statue to the benches below. Pugsley had made it a habit to follow her- probably to keep her out of trouble. As if some pug could do that to her.
Pugsley glanced up from the book, frowning. "It's the past particle of break."
"I don't think that's the right word."
"If it has more than three symbols it takes me time, okay?"
"Syllables."
"You get a kick out of mocking me, don't you?"
"Always and forever."
Back to the show. Courtney dug an old wrapper out of the trash as Barney held his hands up in an appeasing manner. "It's just standard ride upkeep procedure, ma'am."
"How do you break a water ride?" the customer demanded.
"You forget to cherish it," Norma said bluntly. "Some kid threw a corndog in the gears."
"I don't believe you. You just don't want to put in the effort to get it ready for my family, do you?"
"You think we'd be too lazy to get the ride up but not too lazy to explain it to you?"
"Don't take that attitude with me," the woman snarled. "Kids these days." The customer reached out to wrench Norma's chin upwards. "At least look at me you little brat."
Courtney's claws sink into the fragile wood of the bench. She bares her fangs threateningly, the familiar tingle of fire on her tongue. "Where does she get off, touching Temeluches' flesh vessels?"
(Touching my fleshy weirdos.)
Pugsley sets a solid paw on her shoulder. "Norma can speak for herself."
Norma's jaw worked against the woman's fingers. She glared at her face, eyes wet with unshed tears. Touch was not something Norma handled well, and eye contact was probably second on that list of 'don't make her do it'. "Let. Me. Go."
Barney tries to step in. "Ma'am, please, it's against the rules to touch members of security-"
She stares him down but eventually removes her hand. "Shut your mouth, fat boy. One of you is going to get me a manager right this second, or I'll-"
Courtney tunes her voice out. Pugsley's book snaps shut. The pug adjusts his hat and falls on all fours. "Alright. Time to earn my little good boy points for the day."
The demon cracks her neck. "And time for me to punch another sin on my timecard."
Courtney doesn't stop to consider how caring this might look. She teleports onto the woman's shoulders, delighting in her scream. Pugsley uses the confusion to push between them, barking maniacally.
"Mortal!" she cackles. Fire licks the edges of her words. "You dare to yell at my minions? Only I may break their spirits!"
"Get off me!" the woman bellows, trying to shake her off. Courtney digs her claws into her shirt. Pugsley growls and sinks his teeth into her ankle.
Courtney leans in so close their noses are practically touching. Her voice drops into the hells beneath their feet as she utters, "Begone, fool, or you will learn what it means to touch what is mine."
She teleports the woman just outside of the park, then reappears, clapping imaginary dust off her claws. "You don't need to thank me. I'll get my favor later."
The two blink at her, gobsmacked, before Barney squeaks out, "I think that was illegal?"
Courtney snorts. "There's no laws in Phoenix Parks. We keep it to ourselves, darlin'."
Pugsley stands and wipes a paw across his mouth, disgusted. "Her pants tasted terrible- and not the terrible us dogs like to roll in."
"Her breath was worse."
"Can confirm," Norma mumbled, wiping her eyes rigorously. "Well, that went in a weird direction, but... thanks."
Barney reached down to scritch Pugsley between the ears. "Good boy."
"Oh, sure, let him get all the credit."
Barney shrugs and scritches Courtney between the horns. She playfully bats at his hand but the wagging of her tail kind of gives how much she likes it away.
"Thanks, guys."
#Ask#Question Mandar#professoruber#Dead End: Paranormal Park#Courtney the Demon#Pugsley#Barney Guttman#Norma Khan#I like to imagine that Norma and Barney are kinda like. Marked for Temeluches now#Since the game show and stuff#So 95% of the time when demons come it's like 'oh wait aren't those Temeluches' servants?'
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They Own This Town (part 6)
The beast lowered its claws to the floor and roared.
Milo smiled and snapped his fingers. With the humans out of the way, he was able to get creative with his abilities. Knowing he would catch hell if anything in the room caught fire, he focused the flames on its chest. Its thick, leathery skin didn't even redden, let alone burn. It crawled toward them, slapping tables aside like spider webs.
"If anyone wants to fill me in, I might be able to help," Sherlock said, looking frantically around the room.
"Necrobeast," Milo said. "Skin's tough, bones are tougher. The blood kills if it gets into your veins. Your kind has a better chance than mine since your hearts don't beat."
"Okay. Got it." He tipped his head, then nodded to himself. "Do we have anything that can pierce its hide?"
Richard eyed the wooden chair beside him. "Probably, but—"
Sherlock broke into a sprint. "Okay! I'll distract it." He planted a foot on the wall and jumped over the beast, landing upon its back with a whoop. He clung to its wings and held on tight as it let out a guttural screech and began to thrash from side to side.
Milo slapped his hand to his forehead, then picked up the chair and smashed it against the wall. He picked up the sharpest piece that remained and spun it in his hand. The chair leg burst into flame as he ran. He timed his thrust, waited for just the right moment, and jabbed the blazing spear into its neck.
The wood shattered against the beast's skin in a cloud of splinters and sawdust.
He ducked a swipe from its wicked claws and slid backward. Shadows writhed around him in an aura of darkness. "Dagger!" he cried, and Richard felt the word in his head as strongly as he heard it.
Grendel burst into the room, pulling in Fabian behind him by the arm. He held his dagger by the tip of the blades and tossed it over the thing's head, over Milo's.
Richard leapt forward and caught it just before it hit the ground, earning himself a vicious cut on the palm in the process. He didn't make a sound. He spun the knife in his grip and walked forward, the tip of the blade tracking the beast's movements. He knew he wasn't strong enough, but he had to try. Suddenly he found his opening as it reared back, reaching for Sherlock with both clawed hands. He drove the dagger upward beneath the creature's ribs, just as he'd watched Grendel do for him years ago.
A second pair of hands wrapped around his and added their strength. Milo smirked at the Necrobeast as the blade dug into its flesh with a sound like an awl hammered through leather.
The beast choked and clutched at its stomach. The two of them jumped back out of reach of its claws, leaving the dagger embedded in its gut. Blood oozed from the wound and steamed upon the hardwood floor. Its leg collapsed under its own weight and it reached out toward Richard. He only watched with an icy grimace.
The strange Netopuri stood behind the beast, nodding again as if in agreement. "Not such a bad plan, eh, Watson?"
Grendel grunted as Fabian kicked at the back of his knee and slipped out of his grip. Grendel turned and grabbed at his collar, his fingers grasping at nothing, at hair, at silk.
The Necrobeast twisted and lashed out at the commotion with its black-bloodied claws.
Too fast for even Richard's eyes to see, Milo planted a boot on the thing's shoulder and dove, knocking Grendel out of the way just in time.
The claws ripped through Milo's suit and pierced his chest.
He hit the ground heavily and rolled onto his back. The beast's detached nail stood up from his chest, stained black and red. He looked down at it without anger or fear. It had happened too fast. He found it odd that there was no pain. After thousands of years' worth of screams from his victims, he'd thought death would be more painful.
Grendel collapsed to his hands and knees. He crawled forward, shaking.
He turned to face Grendel. He said not a word.
Richard grabbed him by the shoulders. "Stay with us, Milo! Say something!"
He mulled it over. If they were to be his last words, they would have to be good ones... but his mind had gone blank.
Grendel lurched to his feet. He turned to face Fabian, who stood frozen in a corner by the door. Suddenly Grendel was across the room, holding Fabian against the wall by his throat. Electricity crackled across their skin, making the room glow with white light. He raised his other hand. A ball of lightning built upon his palm, as blindingly bright as his golden eyes. "Look at what you did!" he shouted.
"This isn't my fault!" Fabian pleaded.
"Hold on, Grendel," said Sherlock firmly. "How did you know, Fabian? How did you know it was going to be making an appearance? How did you know where to go?"
Fabian swallowed down the pain of the humming sparks lancing his skin. "Because they followed him before," he said through gritted teeth. He turned his eyes to Richard, who still knelt over Milo on the floor. "I knew. I thought if they saw you here, they would make you go away."
Grendel threw his arm out behind, sending sparks flying. "Our people are dead! Milo is..." The lightning in his hand pulsed and hummed. "Milo—"
"He's not!" Fabian said quickly. "It paralyzes you first. It takes some time to ki—" He cleared his throat and tried to push himself up with a foot on the wall. "If he hadn't fed in a few days, his heartbeat should be slow enough that it could be reversed. I can help you with that!"
Grendel let his free hand fall. The lightning raced up his arm. "How?"
"We can make a deal," he said. His old confidence had begun to creep back into his voice. "I don't tell anyone about the Necrobeasts' interest in Richard and the rest of your little group. You don't tell anyone... Well, you can't really have a conversation with a Necrobeast, so you can't prove anything anyway." He grinned in spite of himself.
Grendel punched him in the nose. He shook his fist out and smiled as he gave Fabian a moment to blink the stars from his eyes. "What else?"
"We'll have to put Milo in permasleep," Fabian said coldly. Blood trickled from his nostril and his eye. "That means you too, as you well know. Only a few years, I'm sure," he said, the words oozing sarcasm, "to make sure he heals properly."
To his surprise, Grendel nodded without hesitation. "And Richard?" he asked, looking back at the two men on the ground. He couldn't see Milo's face. Perhaps that was a good thing. "You have to promise not to do anything else to him or those he cares about," he said sharply. "Whether you like him or not, he is a part of this family now and you will treat him with respect."
Fabian shrugged and shook his head in agreement. His eyebrows lifted in mirth and he opened his mouth to speak.
Grendel's fist slammed into the wall beside his head, caving the section in and making Fabian squeal and recoil. "If you break your promise, Fabian," he said, "remember... I won't be gone forever."
Fabian shuddered and nodded.
Grendel dropped him to the floor and turned his back on the man. He slipped his arms beneath Milo and carried him from the room, Fabian and Sherlock trailing behind him.
Richard let out a deep breath. He reached over to the mass of leathery flesh that had haunted his dreams for so long and pulled free the dagger. He wiped the blood away and followed the group, his heart as heavy as his footsteps.
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Harrow the Ninth, Chapter 21
(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one!)
(Slashed Sixth House icon) In which I get very sad at a reminder.
Rain and fog invade Canaan House. Harrow at first trusts her hood and veil to keep her dry, but soon it becomes nearly impossible to dry what becomes wet. She is resigned to accepting Ortus trailing her at all times, holding one of the ancient umbrellas Teacher and the priests unearthed. The rain going PLUT gives Harrow's hallucinated symphony of voices a "fertile ground" in which to grow more noticeable and annoy her. A new background wail sounds "for all the world like the mewling of a newborn baby."(1)
Teacher says it's months too early for the rain, "And this fog … I guess I might as well die," he adds.(2) Harrow finds this jest in poor taste, after the second round of deaths.
Camilla and Pal now lay dead,(3) their faces obliterated by gunshots, their bodies identifiable only by context clues. Flesh magicians to examine the remains are hard to find. The Tridentarius twins have been making themselves so scarce, Harrow struggles to remember when she last saw one. So it is that Dulcinea Septimus(4) has to identify the body of the man who invented the pulmonary drain making her breathe a little easier than she looks like she ought, and his cav.
"Dulcie" establishes their identities and that it was probably the same assailant that killed Judith. Ortus suggests that the Sleeper should have been called the "Waker" instead,(5) and asks what they can do against such a foe. Dulcinea suggests they should fight the Sleeper. Her cav, Protesilaus, agrees, saying they should muster the cavaliers. Better to die facing the enemy than overtaken like the Sixth.
Then this bronze statue cleared his throat, and added:
"I held to the faith of my fallible flesh;
Why should I think of the irradiating star?"
Harrow turns to Nigenad and finds him looking offended and disturbed. He disagrees, but Magnus steps in. He says Nigenad is "too good a man to roll over and wait for another death"(6) and tells Pro that they should get everyone present on board with the action before they try to open the unopenable box of the coffin. Harrow suggests that Dulcie should stay out of it, in her obviously ill condition, but Dulcie insists she's felt better since she arrived. Pro quotes more poetry, cautioning against mistaking "the thaw for the spring", and Harrow wonders how Ortus must feel, having "his only cultivated persionality trait co-opted by someone who looked like the hero of his very own epics."
They bustle to arrange the bodies and summon the others. Dulcinea wheels her chair over to Abigail and asks if this is how it happens.(7) Abigail says no, and Dulcie asks if it gets better than this.
Harrow picks up a piece of crumpled flimsy that was in a corpse's pocket. Nigenad tries to stop her reading it, but she snaps at him to mind his place and sweeps out into the corridor to read it alone. It bears another strange message, which I will again not all-caps though the book does:
Him I'll kill quick because she asked me to and because that much he honestly deserves but you two mummified wizard shits(8) I will burn and burn and burn and burn until there is no trace of you left in the shadow of my long-lost natal sun(9)
Nigenad, unprompted from behind her, describes that the flimsy contains a drawing of a stylized letter S.(10) He asks if Harrow would expect him to seek her commands if the Sleeper comes for him, and she asks if he plans to do anything but lay down and die. He says his father died for nothing more than that her parents told him to, and she realizes that Ortus knew the whole time that Mortus died at her parents' command. Before she can say anything more, a gust of wind sends a wave of water in the window nearby, bringing with it a pile of rusted pipette needles.(11)
=====
(1) I don't recall Harrow having had this symphony of ghosts in her head in other POVs. Is the baby just an interpretation of the rain, or something else?
(2) Meme reference to the old man in a red shirt, shrugging, captioned "Guess I'll die"
(3) Hmm… but Harrow believes that Cam and Pal died in the Canaan House she attended with Ortus, why did Harrow not remember that when she read the note on the letter to give to Cam if she sees her? Or were her memories just still reforming and recovering at the time? Also, this is the very sad bit for me. I miss Pal and Cam! They're fun to be around. And we know Pal went kaboom trying to take out Cyth, but… whatever DID happen to Cam? She was there with Harrow when Cyth went down… and then she wasn't.
(4) The real Dulcinea, or Cyth again? This one does seem to have a proper live cavalier, and I can say we never saw Cyth accept "Dulcie" as a nickname in book 1.
(5) I mean, he has a point. It does only cause damage when it wakes.
(6) Huh… Wait for another death?
(7) There's that question again.
(8) What a weird thing to say, even in a weird hallucination. Though, "mummified wizard" isn't a completely inaccurate description of a Lyctor.
(9) So, someone or their ancestors lost their home solar system a long time ago.
(10) The Stussy S/Cool S.
(11) Something about the specificity feels like it carries meaning, doesn't it?
#the locked tomb#tlt#harrow the ninth#htn#harrow the ninth spoilers#htn spoilers#harrowhark nonagesimus#teacher (gtn)#abigail pent#magnus quinn#dulcinea septimus#protesilaus ebdoma#ortus nigenad
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Im done with the secret satan thing but Im really curious on how Herbert is still alive, I know the answer is probably obvious due to his name but I still wanna know 👀
👉👈 Y-y-you want to hear about me blorbos?
First of all, I'm really excited to hear you've finished my secret satan already and I'm excited to see it! I have to wait for the entire month though but I'll be hyped up!
Second, yes Herbert's, TF2 fan character, first name is a direct reference to horror character Herbert West from Re-Animator, both a book and movie. His last name [redacted] is also a reference to other horror character of same category of mad doctors, from [redacted].
I'll put all of the answer under the read more, including drawing of him for those who don't know who I'm talking about! Decapitated doodle ahead, peeps.
So the deal with Herbert is, he's headless. Anatomically all correct, decapitated. Flesh and all. Got even some of spine sticking out. I have some details and thoughts how his entire *gestures vaguely* thing works, but nothing too sensible and not everything has been figured out. Most of the time I just say "it just works".
TLDR it's a respawn glitch.
He has surgically intentionally removed his own head on purpose as a choice. He discovered this possibility by being exposed to "a respawn glitch" (I have to allow respawn existing in my aus because I have the worst-at-their-job mercenaries as my fcs) when he was still relatively new Medic hired by BLU. An enemy Demoman decapitated him with his eyelander, but through some bizard glitch in the system, while his head could be considered as "dead", his body still behaved like it was living and consious. He had lost his main senses, though, but could still walk and attempt to figure out blindly what was going on and was somewhat aware of his state. Demoman finished him soon after and he returned to his normal head-included self.
Fascinated by this - and having already immense fear of being perceived by other people and other issues - he did some experimenting with himself and trying to recreate that glitch under controlled circumstances. Eventually, he managed to control it, live and function without his head physically attached to his body and nervous system. He can somewhat sense normally (although limited field of vision), communicate verbally and otherwise control his body after some rehabilitation. His nerves are kinda sorta still connected to his brain, just not physically but through [insert some scifi-respawn-technology bullshit here]. His "head" and brain is still inside the respawn system, a copy of sorts, that his body is attached and connected to.
There's a little chip in his spine right at the end of the neck that holds this connection through respawn. I did some anatomical messing up here shhhh There's also a tiny bit of his nuclear extension left in..... SOMEWHERE that keeps his organs still running even without the main brain. As long as he keeps injecting some of the medigun healy juice into him and maintains the basic care on the exposed neck area, and all the modifications stay intact, he's immune to all complications like infections or such.
Somewhere in the timeline, he also managed to get rid of his head and destroy it completely while this glitch and maintaining still holds up.
Science bullshit, basically!
#assbox#my ocs#thank you so much for asking! i did my best to keep all the mess science bullshitting as short and simple as i could
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Amelia’s Story (BBC Merlin Story)
Chapter 10: Lancelot
Masterlist
Amelia's POV
Amelia is still mostly on bed rest. No one will let her out of their sight. Uther gave orders for Guards to go around with her all the time, which she finds very annoying. Even more irritating is that Merlin, who was poisoned and practically died for a couple of seconds before the antidote worked, is told he must go and start work again as soon as he is able to stand. She is able to rest more, which is stupid as it is not like once she is up and about she will be doing any strenuous work. Society is stupid.
Soon rumours begin spreading of a creature with wings taking people from Villages. She finds out about it when Arthur and Uther come back from seeing the damage it had done to a Village.
"Arthur?" She calls from the top of the stairs leading to the Castle when she sees both of them dismount from their horses. She had escaped her watchers to have some time on her own but her curiosity got the better of her when she saw Uther and Arthur returning. "Where were the two of you?"
"Amelia! You should not be up." Uther chastises her.
"I'm not going to break at a slight amount of exercise. It is not healthy to sit about all day." Amelia reprimands. Uther acts like he hasn't heard her and walks past her and into the Castle leaving just Amelia and Arthur.
Arthur rolls his eyes and walks up the steps towards her. "Here. I'll take you back to your Chambers."
"Fine." She resigns and lets him guide her. "But where were you? Uther looks worried and so do you."
He sighs as he walks next to her, "A Village has been attacked by a winged beast that seems to have a taste for human flesh." At her horrified look, he says, "Do not worry, we are putting up sentries in all the outlying Villages and lookouts are on full alert. We will be ready for it if it arrives. Do not tell anyone yet."
Having got the jist that Arthur has closed the conversation, Amelia lets him take her to her Chambers and drop her off.
——
Later on, after having snuck out of her Chambers again, Amelia catches Merlin slipping into the Hall of Records so she follows and sees him search for a book then taking one. "Merlin?" She whispers. He jumps. "What are you doing?"
"Er... n-nothing?" What probably is intended as a statement comes out as a question. Amelia shakes her head and just watches him as he glances over his shoulder to Geoffrey of Monmouth who is watching him. "Homework." He says. Merlin opens the book, smiles down and closes it immediately. A cloud of dust rises and he sneezes. Amelia laughs at his face.
"You are planning something." She whispers to him.
"Maybe. You going to help?" He asks.
"I do not particularly like how you are trying to get me involved before I even know what this is about."
"Trust me." Merlin sits down then opens the book to a page of Northumbrian nobility and pulls out a piece of parchment. She frowns wondering what he was intending to do with a book about nobility. "Ic us bisen hræd tán hwanon." He chants. Amelia quickly glances over to Geoffrey in panic, hoping he is not listening but it seems he isn't. Merlin pulls out the piece of parchment, which seems to have copied the other.
Amelia hadn't noticed that Geoffrey had wandered over till she hears him clear his throat. Merlin quickly turns and hands Geoffrey the book. "It's a... real page turner." Before the both of them depart, leaving behind a confused Geoffrey.
——
On the way to Gaius' Chambers, Merlin explains the situation to Amelia. Apparently, a man, called Lancelot, had saved his life from the winged beast and the man really wants to become a Knight but he cannot do that as he is not a member of the nobility. So Merlin is determined to help him.
"You sure there will be no consequences Merlin?" She asks him worriedly.
"It'll be fine Amelia." He says exasperated but she is still concerned. She had checked her notes after Arthur and Uther returned to see any mention of the beast and the notes mentioned that when this beast turns up, Merlin helps a man called Lancelot to become a Knight but Uther figures it out yet the two of them later defeat the winged beast. Thanks for the details past Amelia.
They enter and Lancelot immediately stands up. "My lady." He says bowing. He literally bows.
Amelia looks at Merlin awkwardly but he provides no help. "Ummm... hi? Er... I'm Lady Amelia Hallewell one of the King's wards."
"Amelia, this is Lancelot." Merlin introduces. Lancelot looks shocked at how informally Merlin addresses her, but he does not mention it as he notices the parchment Merlin is holding. "What's that?"
Merlin holds up the parchment, "This is your seal of nobility."
"I don't understand," Lancelot says, clearly hoping Merlin is not saying what he thinks he's saying.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Lancelot, fifth son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria."
"No, Merlin. No."
"Oh, right. So you don't want to be a Knight, then." Merlin says sarcastically.
"Of course I do!" Lancelot insists.
"Well... the rules don't allow it. Damn the rules! The rules are wrong!" Merlin vehemently declares.
"But it's a lie. It's against everything the Knights stand for."
"You have as much right to be a Knight as any man. I know it." Merlin says
"But the rules, Merlin." Lancelot desperately tries to explain to him.
"Don't let him go against his conscience Merlin," Amelia says.
"But we're not breaking the rules. We're bending them, that's all. You get your foot in the door. But after that, you will be judged on your merit alone. And if you succeed - if they make you a Knight - it'll be because you earned it, noble or not. I can't change the way things are done around here, but you can... if you let me help you."
——
All three of them head to Gwen's house so that Lancelot can get measured for his armour. As Gwen is taking Lancelot's measurements, Lancelot tries to awkwardly talk to her.
"Thi..." He clears his throat. "This is very kind of you, er..."
"Gwen." She tells him.
"Gwen." He repeats.
"Short for Guinevere."
"Ah. Then thank you, Guinevere."
"Don't thank me. Thank Merlin. Merlin would do anything for anyone, wouldn't you, Merlin?" Merlin shrugs as if to say it is nothing. "Sorry, can you raise your arms?" Lancelot raises his arms. "Thank you. Sorry. I think it's great that Merlin's got you this chance. We need men like you." Gwen says.
"You do?" He asks surprised.
"Well, not me personally, but you know... Camelot. Camelot needs Knights. Not just Arthur and his kind, but ordinary people like you and me." Oh, Gwen; so awkward.
"Well, I'm not a Knight yet, My Lady." That was a flirt there.
"And I'm not a lady." Gwen giggles.
"Sorry, my..."
"Okay, we're done. Erm... I should have these ready in no time. It's nice to meet you, Lancelot." Gwen reaches out to shake hands. Lancelot takes her hand and kisses it. Amelia leaves with Merlin and Lancelot before telling them she will meet them later when Lancelot tries to pass the test.
——
Merlin's POV
Merlin and Lancelot walk down the Courtyard Corridor after saying goodbye to both Amelia and Gwen.
"She seems lovely. Guinevere." Lancelot brought up awkwardly.
"Oh, yeah. Yeah, she is. And the best seamstress in Camelot, I promise." Merlin says enthusiastically not realising the real reason behind Lancelot's bringing up the subject.
"Are you two... you know." Lancelot once again says awkwardly.
Merlin laughs. "No, no. Just friends." Merlin says definitively, giving Lancelot a sideways look.
"Is there anyone? For you?" Lancelot then asks less awkwardly.
"N-no! No!" Merlin says somewhat nervous and shy now. Lancelot smirks at him.
——
Amelia's POV
Anne arrives at the Training Grounds along with Merlin, Gwen and Amelia to support Lancelot in his attempt to become a Knight.
They all watch as Arthur trains his recruits as Merlin and Gwen fix Lancelot's costume.
"One. Two. Three. Four. One. Two. Three. Four."
"Well... you certainly look the part," Merlin says nervously.
"Doesn't he just?" Gwen compliments.
"I don't feel it," Lancelot mutters unsurely. Glancing over to where Arthur is finishing up training.
"Okay, that'll do for today. Well done." Arthur announces.
"Here's your chance. Go for it." Merlin says nudging Lancelot forward. Amelia gives him a smile of encouragement.
As Lancelot approaches Arthur, who is putting a sword in the sword rack, Merlin turns to her and says, "I do not know why you are so worried everything is going to be fine. He deserves this."
"I never said he didn't." She replies. "I just do not believe you should just go against the rules like this Merlin. Lying is not the right way." Before looking over to see Lancelot handing over his 'seal' bowing and saying, "Sire."
Arthur suddenly smacks him and Lancelot falls down. Should have guessed he would do that. "Sluggish reactions. In a battle field you'd be dead by now. Come back when you're ready." Arthur says before walking off. Lancelot gets up and places his hand on his sword.
"I'm ready now, Sire." He says.
Arthur turns back around. "You are, are you?" He asks sarcastically. "Fine. You can start by cleaning out the stables." Onlookers laugh. Lancelot looks uncertainly at Merlin, who gives him two thumbs up while Gwen, Amelia and Anne give him uneasy smiles.
——
So Lancelot finds work at the stables. Merlin tells Amelia how Arthur had approached him to fight with broom handles. She supposes that is a positive even if it did sound a bit odd.
Suddenly the warning bells began ringing. Oh no. This means something had happened with the monster of the week.
She hurries out into the Main Square to see multiple people being brought in. She spots Gaius treating a woman's head near one of the gates and Merlin helping an injured woman to sit near him. She goes over to them forgetting what she'd been told about running around.
As Amelia reaches them, Gaius looks up at her, "My lady you should not be running." He says with a small smile on his face implying that he isn't being serious.
"Yes but you and I both know that I am quite physically recovered and am perfectly capable of running." She responds sarcastically.
He smiles at her before Merlin draws his attention away. "How is she?"
"Okay." Gaius answers. Lancelot runs up to them then. "What happened to these people?" He asks.
"Their Village was attacked by a winged monster," Gaius says. Amelia sees Merlin and Lancelot exchange a look. Had they seen it? Oh, wait she remembers Merlin telling her. Her memory sometimes goes a bit foggy on recent memories unless something reminded her of them.
——
Merlin later hurries up to her telling her that Arthur had agreed to bring Lancelot's test forward to the next morning, which leads to the four of them, Merlin, Gwen, Anne and Amelia, standing at the sidelines to watch.
Arthur and Lancelot stand dressed in full armour opposite each other. "Well, here we are. Your final challenge. Succeed and you join the elite. Fail and your journey ends here. Lancelot, fifth son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria..." Arthur nods to the timekeeper. "Your time starts now."
Arthur and Lancelot put on their helmets. They begin to fight. Lancelot then swings and misses Arthur. Gwen grabs Merlin's shirt in her anxiety. "Oh, sorry." She mutters before letting go. Amelia knows she doesn't need to be nervous, her notes say that he successfully becomes a Knight, it's just what happens after.
Arthur punches Lancelot causing him to fall back, his helmet goes askew. Arthur puts his sword in the ground, removes his helmet and goes to remove Lancelot's flag. "Shame." He says. Lancelot suddenly gets up, knocks Arthur off his feet and puts him at sword point. "Do you submit, Sire?" He asks him.
Guards restrain Lancelot. Arthur gets up, apparently angry, and grabs his sword. "On your knees!" Arthur angrily commanded. Oh Arthur, what a performance. Guards force Lancelot to his knees. Arthur puts the sword to Lancelot's chest.
——
Soon enough they are all in the Throne room watching Lancelot get knighted.
Lancelot kneels with a sword to his chest. "Arise, Sir Lancelot, Knight of Camelot." Uther says putting the sword on each of Lancelot's shoulders before Lancelot stands up and everybody begins to clap.
"Who is this man? He seems to have come out of nowhere." Morgana asks Anne, Gwen and Amelia. Oh Morgana you're missing out.
"I know. It's been a bit of a surprise to all of us." Gwen says giving Anne and Amelia a knowing smile.
Amelia looks over and sees Uther open Lancelot's seal and address a lady of the Court. Matilda something. Judging from his frown, he has realised something.
——
Morgana, Gwen, Anne and Amelia all enter the Hall of Ceremonies together approaching one of the tables before Gwen and Anne split off to walk towards Merlin.
She notices Arthur looking in her and Morgana's direction while Lancelot looks towards Merlin, Anne and Gwen, who are laughing and chatting together, from where they sit on a table. She wrinkles her nose when Morgana notices Arthur's gaze and deliberately looks back. The odd bit is that she knows that, other than being cousins, there is another reason why she does not like it but she can't remember.
"Stop that please," Amelia says to Morgana. She laughs.
Amelia leaves her, meandering towards Merlin, Anne and Gwen as Merlin grabs another drink from a passing servant. "Careful Merlin." She hears Anne joke. Merlin sends a small bashful smile in her direction blushing. Mmm...
"Hello," Amelia says when she places herself at Gwen's side. "What have I missed?"
Merlin snaps out of his embarrassed state and turns to her saying, "Lancelot seems to fancy Gwen!" Gwen shushes him as he had said it quite loudly.
"Anyway." Merlin draws out. "Gwen, just for the sake of argument. If you had to, Arthur or Lancelot."
"But I don't have to and I never will," Gwen says humorously. Oh Gwen, you have no idea.
"Oh, you are no fun, Gwen," Merlin says. They all laugh.
Arthur then pounds on the table he is sitting on getting everyone's attention and stands up. "Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in a toast to our new recruit, our new Knight of Camelot, Sir Lancelot." He raises his goblet with everyone else. The crowd applauds. Lancelot and Arthur toast.
——
Turns out lying about your status has consequences as Lancelot has been arrested, stripped of his title and thrown into jail.
Merlin had gone to see Lancelot, who had, typically, been all noble and selfless despite the fact that Merlin is the one that had a larger amount of the blame between the two of them.
Merlin now sits sadly on the stairs in Gaius' Chambers in front of Gaius and Amelia.
"Merlin?" Gaius tentatively asks.
"Whatever you do, don't say, "I told you so."" Merlin says stopping him.
"I have no wish to gloat, Merlin. What's done is done." Gaius says.
"Well, Gaius has found something if you are interested?" Amelia asks.
Merlin looks up. "What is it?" He asks.
"Here. Come and take a look at this." Gaius says, opening a book. Merlin and Amelia follow him. "I realised my mistake. I've been looking for the creature in the wrong place, in the records of all known living things in the Kingdom. And then I thought, but what about creatures only recorded in legend? In myth? Then I discovered this." He opens up onto the page of the beast of the week. A Griffin.
"That is it. That's the monster." Merlin says seemingly perked up. Warning bells suddenly sound. Merlin, Gaius and Amelia go to the window. People are running wildly around the Square, screaming as the Griffin swoops down overhead.
"On me! On me!" Arthur cries from the centre of the Square. Knights surround Arthur in a defence pattern. "Defence!" The Knights crouch down. The Griffin attacks. The Knights get up and reform attack pattern. The Griffin lands in the Square. "Charge! On me!" Arthur strikes the Griffin in the chest with a spear. The spear breaks. Arthur looks surprised and falls backwards. A Guard tosses him a torch. Arthur reaches for it and waves the torch at the Griffin and it takes off making hissing sounds.
——
Merlin, Gaius and Amelia are already standing in the corner of the Council Chambers as Arthur, Uther and their entourage enter.
"You said your Knights were the best in the land. You proved that today." Uther says.
"All I know is it's still out there," Arthur says, not as quick to celebrate as his father is.
"Let's not wait for it. The Kingdom has been menaced by this creature for too long. We finish this now." Uther says determinately.
"Sire, if I may." Gaius pipes up.
"Gaius?" Uther asks distractedly as if he has only just noticed their presence.
"I've been researching this creature, Sire. I believe it to be a Griffin."
"A Griffin? What's in a name?" Amelia quietly sniggers at that response. She hadn't drawn Uther's or Gaius' attention but both Merlin and Arthur give her an odd look.
"The Griffin is a creature of magic," Gaius says drawing her, Arthur and Merlin back to the conservation.
"I don't have time for this, Physician." She doesn't know why Uther dismisses Gaius so much, he wouldn't be able to survive without him.
"It is born of magic, Sire, and it can only be killed by magic." Gaius persists.
"You are mistaken. It's a creature of flesh and blood like any other. Arthur proved that today." Idiot.
"I'm not so sure, Father. I think there may be some truth in what he says." Thank you, Arthur.
"What truth?" Uther asks annoyed. He hates to be proven wrong yet he so often is.
"The Griffin was unharmed, Sire. Our weapons seemed useless against it."
"Useless? I think not. No, it's tasted our steel once, the next time will be its last. When will your Knights be ready to ride again?" Once again an idiot.
"An hour. Maybe two." Arthur says resignedly.
"Good. We finish this tonight." Uther says with finality. Amelia purses her lips in annoyance.
——
After grabbing Anne, as she believes they need all the magical help they could get, Amelia enters Gaius' Chambers along with Gaius and Merlin.
"Is it true? The Griffin can only be killed by magic?" Anne asks.
"Yes. I'm certain of it. If Arthur rides out against it, he'll die." Gaius says surely.
"Then he must be stopped. Uther must see reason." Merlin says.
"Where magic is concerned, our King is blind to reason. And yet...magic is our only hope." Well, at least Gaius is aware of their King's stupidity.
"You're not suggesting..." Merlin's sentence pans out as Gaius nods his head. "Why not Anne?"
"It is your destiny, Merlin. The true purpose of your magic." Anne answers him.
"You have all seen it. I can't go up against that thing." Merlin says determinedly.
"But if you do not, then Arthur will probably die," Amelia says.
"No... this is madness. I don't have magic that powerful. There must be another way." Merlin says doubtfully as he paces for a moment.
"You should have more faith, Merlin," Amelia says walking up to him. She personally needs it after her memory loss.
"This is the only way," Gaius says.
"Do you even care what happens to me?" Merlin turns his frustration to Gaius. "Oh, just do this, Merlin. Do that, Merlin. Go and kill the Griffin, Merlin. I'll just sit here and warm my feet by the fire." His voice sounds a little watery as if he is trying not to cry.
"Merlin! Merlin, you are the only thing I care about in all this world. I would give my life for you without a thought. But for what? I cannot save Arthur. It is not my destiny. You know." Gaius says encouragingly, it is quite sweet actually.
"I'm sorry," Merlin says sorrowfully in an almost whisper.
"I don't know what else I can say," Gaius says resignedly, Anne hums in agreement.
"I'll say it for you. We have two hours to find a way to kill that thing." Merlin says with more confidence.
"Well, what are we standing here for? Let's get on with it!" Amelia cries. They all chuckle at her announcement.
——
Before long they are flipping through Merlin's magic book to find the spell.
"There. You must do this for Arthur." Gaius says pointing at one of the pages.
"I've never cast a spell of enchantment this powerful," Merlin says sounding insecure again.
"Nothing less will kill it," Anne says.
"Here." Gaius hands Merlin a rusty dagger. "Try. You have it within you. I know you do."
"Bregdan anweald gafeluec." Merlin mutters. Nothing happens. They all look at each other.
"Don't worry, Merlin, we have plenty of time," Amelia says hopefully.
Merlin continues to try the spell around the Chambers and even crouches at one point and it doesn't work.
"Don't worry, Merlin. I know you're trying." Anne says putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"And I'm failing. And if Arthur dies because I'm not good enough..." Merlin says angrily sitting on the steps to his Chamber.
"Merlin!" Gaius reproaches from his seat.
"Maybe you need the adrenaline of the moment?" Amelia suggests. But before anything can be said Gwen runs in.
"Merlin! Lancelot's riding out to kill the Griffin!" She cries.
"He's what?" Merlin says in shock. Gwen shrugs helplessly causing to Merlin stand up and run out.
"Merlin?" Gaius calls but Merlin doesn't answer him. Anne and Amelia run after him.
"Merlin!" Amelia cries, he turns around to them.
"No, no!" He says indisputably. "You two are not going." Anne opens her mouth to protest but it was too late as Merlin has run off again.
"I suppose we wait," Amelia says resignedly. Anne purses her lips in annoyance.
——
After what felt like hours, Merlin bursts into the Physician's Chambers.
"You did it?!" Gaius exclaims from seeing Merlin's cheerful expression.
"I did it," Merlin says with a bright smile taking over his face. Gaius and Merlin hug while Anne and Amelia look at each other smiling before joining in.
"Thank God!" Gaius says.
——
Merlin, Anne and Amelia round the corner and are faced with the closed doors of the Council Chambers with yelling coming from inside and Lancelot waiting anxiously in front of them with two Guards blocking the entrance.
"What are they doing?" Merlin asks.
"Deciding my fate," Lancelot answers simply.
"They'll restore your Knighthood, of course they will. You killed the Griffin," Merlin says confidently.
"But I didn't kill the Griffin," Lancelot says. The rest of them look at each other in shock though Amelia's is faked. Lancelot walks slightly away from the Guards and they follow. "You did."
"That's ridiculous," Merlin says trying to dissuade him.
""Bregdan anweald"... I heard you. I saw you." Merlin looks worried. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me and I suppose they know." Lancelot nods toward Anne and Amelia. They awkwardly smile at him. "But I cannot take the credit for what I did not do. There'll be no more lies, no more deceit." Again with the nobility.
"What are you going to do?" Amelia asks.
"The only thing I can do, my lady." He says bowing before passing the Guards and bursting through the Council Chambers doors.
"He's going to leave isn't he?" Anne said sadly. Amelia nods.
"I believe he will return though." She says with confidence.
——
A/N: Amelia has forgotten a lot of main points that she won't realise has happened. Like main plot points she assumed that she wouldn't forget and did not note them down. She's going to have to deal with going a bit more blind than she is used to.
Anne's magic is a secret, for now, as it is dangerous for people to know plus Anne doesn't really know Lancelot.
Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.
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On the topic of my trilogy, i just really wanted to share these reviews of the advanced copies i got back recent.
Responses to the work so far.
CataruToday at 10:42 PM
also dafuq is a hellion
because at first I thought hellion meant darkest dungeon, but then I see the rest of that post and...wat
Bismarck-Today at 1:55 AM
@RandomSpark I read the thing
I find it simultaneously horrifying and really interesting! It's a very interesting slice of a very strange and alien world
I think it's well written, but there are a few points that could use a look perhaps
Most of it would just be things a sober second look would change, imo, like leaving it for a night and coming back to read over it again
I find it's just inevitable with writing, but that may just be the fact that I almost always write very late at night when I'm tired lol
Also, I'll add that the brief interlude with the French Noblewoman is very Lovecraftian in feel!
And I mean that in a positive way, I don't mean to offend with a comparison, I just found it intriguing
A nice aside that builds more on the world and breaks up the existing narrative in a way that feels good
Glad to help!
Selaphine-Rose:
I liked it. Whether or not it's my "thing" remains to be seen, but this sort of...uhhhh...what's the word
It's so mechanically oriented, yet the concepts it refers to are so bizarre in the circumstance??? Like, the differences of meat and flesh as currency and also a functional object, juxtaposed against the reader's understanding that these are also parts of a human body?
It reminds me a lot of Inferno, which I'd rather fitting given what it is? But it's not just the location.
Forgive me for misremembering the details; take this as more of a made up example than as something directly from the book, but like
One of the punishments was something like
"The sinners struggle to stay above surface in a river of boiling blood, while centaurs shoot them with arrows if they try to climb out"
And it's just such a specific, mechanical way to describe it. The Italian brand of Catholicism at the time was basically like "no no, don't feel pity for anybody here, they deserve it, BUT this is all really bad so also be scared of it and repent!" So in spite of how specific all the horrible punishments are laid out to be, there's this almost unintentional lack of empathy? Or more like...the idea of sympathy for the damned is a totally bizzare, alien thing in the first place?
Bismarck-Today at 2:49 AM
That's a real interesting point
Selphin Rose-Today at 2:49 AM
And you nail that
The succubus is like "yea bro down here we rip off chunks of sinners from the Sin Trees™ and use them for currency and other things! So, gimme babies now or?"
And meanwhile there's this fucking tree covered in mutilated, writhing people??? Right? Did I misread that?
Yeah, fucking
It's a tree covered in corpses, tied to it by their own flaming sinew????
But it's almost like a video game? Where the visuals are only really meant to exist as flavor for the mechanics, and only carry their implicit meanings to the reader.
It doesn't tell you to feel bad for the Damned. It doesn't tell you to be disgusted by the economy, or the use of the Damned's bodies for external purposes. It doesn't tell you anything. Your response is your own, and given the very mechanical, but also normalized, tone of the writing? You're probably going to feel more empathy for the "sick or injured hellions" than the Damned. And if you don't, that's okay too. Your reaction to the piece doesn't change what it is.
So yeah, like, I think it's really fitting tbh.
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I have to rant about Tender Is The Flesh!!
Last year I read Tender is The Flesh by Augustina Bazterrica and I haven't seen many people agree with me so if Booktok has been yelling at you to read it and you're tired of the vague positive reviews, this is for you!
*Disclaimer: this is all my opinion/feelings, if you loved this book I'm glad and if a negative review of a book you love will be upsetting please protect your peace and ignore me <3*
General Thoughts & Why I Hate It
Im going to start out by saying I am a vegetarian and used to be strictly vegan! The book is very heavy handed about its eating meat=bad beliefs which I found exhausting. At many times throughout the story I found myself shouting "OH MY GOD I GET IT!!! MEAT IS MURDER. JUST TELL ME THE STORY" into the void. It makes very weird parallels that I don't agree with and there was next to no room for nuanced discussion. It felt like the author was holding my hand and explaining absolutely everything, not letting me infer anything, which I personally don't enjoy. I will say its possible that because it is a translated novel that the above issues only apply to the English translation and that its a fault of the translator rather than Augustina.
Another issue I have is that to me none of the characters actually felt like fleshed out people, rather just objects things happen to/around. The main characters motivations make no sense (especially in the second half), where he doesn't even feel like a person, you don't really get to know him and then what little you do gets completely contradicted in the second half of the book. The main character at the beginning is almost unrecognizable from himself by the end. I can't even call it character development because it feels like he sees one shitty thing than a switch flips and he's completely different. Through the whole time reading, I did not feel any type of way towards any character, I didn't care about any of them which made it hard to care about the novel. When I first finished it I felt no type of way but the longer I've had to sit with it, the more I'm growing to dislike it. The worst part is that it could have been so good, with some more nuance and character development it would have been a very interesting story!
There is also a graphic sexual assault scene which I wish I had known about going in. As a surviver of S/A I try to stay away from novels with it unless I've had time to prepare and be in a good headspace to consume it. So a completely RANDOM S/A scene that doesn't matter to the plot really caught me off guard and almost immediately ruined the book. I'm fine with assault scenes if and only IF it is important to the plot/character development. My problem is when its thrown in to demonstrate a character being shitty or for shock value, which I feel is the reason it was included in Tender Is The Flesh; if you removed the whole chapter it would make absolutely no difference and THATS where I have the problem.
My Problem with BookTok & Advertising
First, booktokers and book tubers saying that its best to go into blind and not giving a trigger warning for S/A. I think its generally irresponsible to not give trigger warnings and to encourage people to go in knowing nothing, its so easy to say "hey this book has _" so that survivors aren't further harmed. This is a general criticism that I'll probably do another post going into further.
Second, people call it a horror novel when its really not, its a dystopian and while not a huge issue, it just sets up expectations that it doesn't live up to! It felt a lot more akin to books like the Handmaids Tale than those in the horror genre. So if you want a horror novel, probably don't pick this up but if you want a kinda disturbing, dark dystopian then maybe this will be your book! Accuracy in genre is important because there are tons of people who love one genres and hate other, like myself who eat, sleeps and breaths horror but has never found a proper dystopian that I even kinda enjoyed. Or, people who love romance and don't care about fantasy may like a romantacy but hate a fantasy with a small romance side plot.
Anyway those are my feelings, I hope it helps someone decide if they want to read it or not! Once again, if you disagree thats totally okay! If you loved the book, I'm so happy for you! My problems with it shouldn't detract from hour enjoyment of it!
#book blog#tender is the flesh#tender is the flesh hater#bookblr#book review#book rant#book criticism
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