#I’ve not gotten a welcome back or anything in months | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ohthewh0rror · 5 months

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I’VE DUG TWO GRAVES FOR US, MY DEAR.

˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚ prompt — “Can I request Tom riddle x (fem!) reader angst? Basically, they have been trying for a long time to have children, but haven’t succeeded. So, to have an heir, Tom gets Bellatrix pregnant and obviously hasn’t told reader. Reader finds out shes pregnant and goes to tell Tom and show him the pregnancy test, but right outside his study she hears him ask Bellatrix „how is my heir doing? Is my child healthy?“ and reader drops the test in front of his study, where Tom finds it later, and leaves.”

Part 2

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader

Word count: 3.6K

A/N: “but baaaabe, she doesn’t even mean anything to me” and for him he MEANS it, that’s the worst part. Oh god I’m going to be sick. I headcanon him as loyal and now he’s out here embarrassing me. Anyway, thank you to my best friend Madie for helping me choose the right ending for this and for proof-reading for me. To the requester: I didn’t take the suicide route bc that’s a very sensitive topic that I have personal ties to. But yeah, if anyone wants it I’m 100% down to write a part 2 to this.🖤🖤

You felt wrong.

Well, not exactly you, just something felt wrong. You felt on edge, tense, like you were just waiting for the galleon to drop. There was no explanation for the way you were feeling, at least not one you could think of. But you couldn’t help but feel on edge, your mind racing as you resisted the urge to continuously look over your shoulder throughout the day.

You had hoped that the feeling would be gone by the end of the day, but as you sat with Tom having dinner the feeling was still there. You wanted to hide it from him, but you just knew he could see the slight shake of your hand as you poked mindlessly with your fork at the food in front of you. Though, either out of courtesy to you or him just not wanting to deal with it at the moment, he didn’t ask.

No, it wouldn’t be until the two of you had gotten into bed for the night that he would.

As you settled into bed, you felt Tom’s arm wrap around your waist, pulling you close. While you would normally welcome this, as it was rare that Tom would hold you in such a way, the unusual action added to your sense of unease. You felt his lips press a kiss just behind your ear before he asked, “there’s something bothering you, what is it?”

You didn’t know how to tell him, or if you even wanted to tell him. You didn’t want Tom to think negatively of you, to think you were officially losing it, but a part of you knew Tom wasn’t going to drop it. What Tom wanted, Tom got, one way or another. So, reluctantly, you told him.

“I’m not sure, I just don’t feel right, not in a sick way but—,” you paused, mentally kicking yourself for admitting it out loud, “I feel as if something bad is about to happen, something very bad.” Tom said nothing, but you could feel his hold on you tighten just a fraction. There was a few seconds of silence before Tom finally spoke again, “I see, I’m sure you are alright, you probably just need to rest.”

You know this was his way of comforting you, but it did nothing to help how you felt. You tried taking his words to heart though, and forced yourself to relax, attempting to get some sleep.

6:23 am.

You stared at the ticking hands of the clock on the wall, watching them dutifully count the time, hoping the dullness of it all would help you fall back asleep. It did nothing to help you, though, and instead just aided in helping your mind wander. You went through every possibility, until you were left with two options.

Tom was up to something… or you were pregnant. You didn’t want to think of the first option, it was a thought that left you upset even considering, but he had been distant for the past 4 months. He did not treat you any different, but he seemed… distracted. Where he once did not mind if you opened his letters for him, he now tightly guarded them. You tried asking him why, but he said it was to protect you if things went bad. He attempted to explain your worries away, saying he did not want you implicated in anything he was up to.

Not to mention he was out the house more— Death Eater business, he tells you. Always that. It almost made you angry how much time he spent working towards his grand scheme when all you wanted was just some of his time. At first you tried to push back on it, but soon realized it did nothing to sway him. Tom did what he wanted, regardless of the feelings of others.

Despite all this you refuse to accept Tom may be up to something behind your back. He was your husband, and he loved you, even if he did not express it often. So that left you with one conclusion: you’re pregnant.

It was a possibility that had been hanging in the back of your mind, but not one you wanted to genuinely entertain. After years of trying and it being false alarms have left you with nothing but negative feelings towards the process of finding out. You did not want to get your hopes up once again, as each negative was becoming more and more unbearable.

You couldn’t just rule it out without taking a test though, so you had no choice but to do so. Not wanting to go to a healer and have them check on you magically, you decided to instead go about it the muggle way. You had heard during your younger years, while at Hogwarts, that muggle women had measures of finding out on their own in the comfort of their own bathroom. So that’s what you set off to do, after getting dressed of course.

Entering muggle London, it was hard not to stick out. While you tried to dress as casual as you possibly could, you knew there was still something off about how you dressed. No one seemed to mind though, letting you walk through the busy streets without much more than a double take. It didn’t take long for you to find what looked like a small store, you hoped to Merlin that they had what you needed.

As you walked around the small shop, you realized what you were doing was beyond ridiculous. You were truly out of your league as you browsed the aisles looking for what you needed. You were beginning to get frustrated when you heard a feminine voice from the left, “excuse me, miss, can I help you find something?”

You paused, stopping midstep, turning your head to look at who was speaking to you.

The girl, who couldn’t have been any older than 19, seemed to be a shop attendant. She had on what you could only guess was typical muggle attire, and a vest with the name of the shop on it. You nodded, “yes, I need the test that will tell me if I’m pregnant or not.”

The shop girl gave you a look, and you began to worry more that you were sticking out far too much. “You mean a pregnancy test?” She asked. “Yes, that,” you replied, hoping she would just show you where it was and stop talking to you. Thankfully she seemed to have read your mind, gesturing you to follow her. She took you to the aisle furthest back in the store, pointing out the shelf that was filled with a dozen different options. You thanked her, and she left you alone with all the different tests.

Looking over them all you picked the one you thought would be best, but as you held the test you had a revelation, ‘I have no muggle money’. You froze, now weighing your options. You could leave and convert the money, coming back at a later time, or you could just…take it. Leaving was the morally correct choice, but just taking it was the more tempting one as it would save you the trouble of explaining to Tom why you needed muggle money if word got back to him.

So, looking around and making sure no eyes were on you, you silently cast a spell, hiding the box from any prying eyes. As you walked out the store you couldn’t believe what you had done. Stealing? From a muggle establishment? How scandalous! As you walked down the street you shook your head, banishing the thought from your mind. You didn’t have time to worry about the ethics of stealing from muggles. You needed to know if you were pregnant.

Thankfully, it was a little easier to find a place to use the restroom. You sat on the toilet, reading the box, and the instructions seemed easy enough. You followed them exactly before capping the test, holding it in a way where the results faced away from you. You didn’t want to see the results, too scared of it being negative once again. After what you considered an appropriate amount of time, you flipped the test over.

Positive.

‘It’s wrong, it has to be,’ you thought to yourself as you eyed the muggle pregnancy test. The test was wrong, it’s a defective muggle device. You’d make an appointment with the healer as soon as possible until you could confirm it for sure and you’d keep it a secret from Tom until then. You didn’t want to tell him, only for it to be a false positive and get his hopes up fruitlessly.

So, you wrapped the test tightly and tossed it in the bin. Washing your hands, you made your way out of the muggle establishment, and to an empty corner before apparating to the edge of yours and Tom’s property. You stood there for a moment, taking in the site of your shared home, wishing you had some calming draught on hand.

You knew as soon as Tom saw you he’d know something was wrong. Tom had always said you weren’t a very good liar, and you knew with the state you were in right now that if he tried to pry your secret would come tumbling out before you had the chance to stop it.

You couldn’t stand out here all day though, the November air was more than chilly, and you were going to freeze if you didn’t go in soon. You took a steadying breath and walked forward with your head held high, taking your time to get to the doors, attempting to look casual. You were halfway up the set of stone stairs leading up to the front doors, when they began to open. For a split second you felt yourself panic on the inside, thinking maybe it was Tom who came to greet you, until your house elf Poppy came into view.

“Welcome back, madam,” the little elf said, ushering you in.

“Hello, Poppy,” you said. You had never been happier to see a house elf in your life. As Poppy shut the doors behind you, and she ushered you to the dining room, she informed you that Tom had already left for the day, leaving you to have breakfast alone. Normally that would have left you disappointed, you and Tom made sure to always eat breakfast and dinner together, and this would be the first time in a long time that you ate alone. But, after the morning you had, you relished in the absence of conversation.

“Poppy, please make an appointment for me with a healer,” you asked, sitting down at the dining table. Poppy nodded wordlessly before leaving you to go make the appointment.

It was a week later that you found yourself sitting in a sterile room, awaiting the results. You wanted so desperately for it to be true. You’d never recover if you found out the test had lied. Tom still didn’t know about the possibility of your pregnancy, but then again, it wasn’t hard to hide it from him with how busy he’d been this past week. And seeing as your mind was preoccupied, you hadn’t pushed on what had him so busy.

Just as your mind began to drift from boy names, to more feminine names, the door to your right clicked open. The healer gave you a bright smile, greeting you. The forced politeness left a bad taste in your mouth as you just wished for the results so you could get home. You gave a tight-lipped smile back, and a similar greeting. The healer stopped in front of you, flipping one of the papers up, quickly reading its contents before looking at you once again.

“Well, Mrs. Riddle, it seems you certainly are pregnant!” He congratulates you, before explaining how far along you seem to be and that he needs you back in a month. You’re still in a daze when he hands you the paperwork, telling you your diagnosis and other information regarding your pregnancy. It feels too good to be true, and you’re not sure if you should laugh, cry, or do both as you leave the office.

You’re pregnant. You’re actually pregnant. You walk down a secluded alley, casting the muffliato charm as you buried your head in your hard, a soft cry erupting from you. You both had tried so hard for so long and it’s finally happening, you are finally having the child you both wanted. You let yourself cry from the overwhelming feeling of happiness for a moment longer before collecting yourself. You needed to tell Tom, you knew this was just the news he needed.

Tom was working from home today, something you had never been so happy about before today. It made the process of talking to him much easier than if he left to Merlin-knows-where to do what he needed. But, as you walked up those stairs to the hallway that his office was down you felt your heart plummet.

Tom was here, but so was another woman.

You quieted your steps, hoping to figure out who the woman was and what they were talking about. It was difficult as the door was mostly shut and they were talking in hushed tones. But, as you stepped off the stairs and into the hallway you recognized the voice of the woman immediately.

Bellatrix Lestrange.

A woman that you held more than just disdain for. She is the only female Death Eater Tom has recruited, and not only that, she was his second in command. While Tom didn’t see any of his Death Eaters as true equals, even you knew he seemed to favor her over the rest of them. Bellatrix seemed to revel in this fact, and despite being married herself, her loyalty seemed to lay more with your husband than her own. She did whatever Tom asked, no matter what it may be, without even a hint of resistance. You truly believe if Tom asked her to kill herself, she would do it without hesitation.

As you walked closer to the door they seemed to have stopped talking, but before you could knock and let yourself be known, you heard something that knocked the breath out of your lungs.

“You had a check-up last week, did you not? How is my heir?” Tom sounded casual, as if he was asking Bellatrix about the weather. His heir? His heir? Your mind was sent reeling as you began to hyperventilate. You quietly backed away from the door, walking as silently but also as quickly as you could away. But, as you turned to leave you nearly tripped over your own two feet, the papers you were holding falling to the ground. In your distress you left them, not being bothered to pick them up, as you caught yourself and hurried down the hallway intent on putting space between yourself and the cracked office door.

You found yourself in a guest room on the other side of the house, away from Tom and Bellatrix, away from the source of your heartbreak. You sit on the edge of the bed, and cast the muffliato charm for the second time today. After you cast the spell, you finally let yourself feel completely. Your heart shatters into tiny crystallized bits, the shards of it dig into every crevice of your sternum, leaving you clutching at your chest as it pierces your lungs and esophagus. Your chest and throat have an indescribable ache as a piercing wail leaves you, the pain of his betrayal leaving you feeling something beyond devastation.

The knowledge that he cheated on you was painful enough, but the fact that it was Bellatrix made it all the more painful. He knew how you felt toward their dynamic and his trust in her. It was as if he chose her on purpose, to tell her that Bellatrix is a more suitable partner for him.

How Bellatrix was everything she wasn’t: unwaveringly devoted to him, believed in his pureblood ideology, and stood by him on it. Bellatrix could also give him children, and she couldn’t.

Or so he thought. He didn’t know she was pregnant yet. Maybe that was for the best, you considered, as you sat in that empty room, fingers wringing together painfully as you tried to calm yourself. As you attempted to gather yourself, knocking on the door began to reverberate throughout the room, causing a panic inside you. You cleared your throat, and took in a breath, hoping to gather yourself before addressing who was on the other side. Lifting your wand you released the muffling charm, “come in.”

Your voice still wobbled as the words left you, leaving you mentally kicking yourself. The door opened, revealing Tom, on the other side. As he took in the sight of you, sniffling and teary-eyed, he walked in completely, softly shutting the door behind him. Looking at him sent a surge of anguish through you, a new wave of tears gathering in your eyes. The vision of Tom doubled as your lips began to wobble as you held back your tears. You were unable to see the look on Tom’s face as you looked away, trying to calm yourself once again, so you weren’t quite sure what he was thinking.

Getting on one knee before you, Tom placed his left hand on your knee as his right reached up, wiping at your tear streaked face. You let out a shuddering breath, finally looking at him. Tom’s face was the most expressive you’d ever seen it, if you hadn’t been in such a miserable state you would have taken a moment to admire it.

There was a look of genuine worry on his face as the both of you looked at each other. The silence was suffocating, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to be the one to break it. There was nothing you wanted to say to him, you could hardly bear to look at him, much less talk to him.

“Why are you upset, darling? This is wonderful news” Tom sounded sympathetic in his attempt to comfort you. You let out a laugh in disbelief, you could not believe the words coming out of his mouth. “Wonderful news? In what world is this ‘wonderful news’?” You were close to yelling by the time you finished talking, feeling your sadness morph into something far uglier: anger. Tom at least had the decency to look taken aback, seeming to not expect the response he received.

Tom’s eyes searched yours for a moment before his expression became guarded, he gave your hand a squeeze before standing up, “it seems we are talking about two different things.”

You said nothing, there was nothing you could say that he hadn’t just deduced for himself, and it seemed he knew that too as he continued speaking.

“Y/N, you have to understand, I needed to ensure I had an heir and we hadn’t been successful in getting you pregnant,” Tom tried to explain. You’re sure in his head that this was logical, just the rational choice to get around your fertility issues. But to you, this was anything but the best next step. There was no reasoning good enough to make this okay; it will never be okay. This is a wound that may scar over, but will always ache when brushed against.

“You had an affair with a woman who I already voiced my concern about, without even consulting me on your decision, and expect me to understand?” You asked, incredulously. Tom, though looking mildly annoyed, still had the decency to also seem a touch guilty. “I didn’t step out of our marriage for pleasure or some sort of validation, you've always been the only one for me, it was merely to—” you decide to cut him off. “Produce an heir,” was all you said, finishing his sentence for him.

A heavy silence hung in the air, what you said leaving a palpable bitterness in the air. Tom still had the same touch of guilt in his eyes, but it wasn't enough. The guilt wasn’t strong enough to let him take full accountability for how wrong he was. Tom reached out, his hands cupping the back of your neck as his thumbs grazed your jawline, forcing you to look at him.

“It will be okay, I made a mistake by not telling you my plans, I apologize,” Tom may have sounded sincere, but it wasn’t good enough. Nothing will ever make up for what he has done to not only your relationship, but also to your trust in him. You reached up, and gently removed his hands from your face before standing up yourself, forcing him to take a few steps back.

“No, it’s not going to be okay; it will never be ‘okay’. You didn’t just make a mistake, you ruined our marriage, and for that, Tom, I hate you.”

And you left.

Leaving your husband to stand in that spare room, alone, with only his thoughts to keep him company.

#tom riddle #tom riddle imagine #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle x you #if this flops I’ll cry

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miguelhugger2099 · 29 days

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Hiii, I’m in love with your writing it’s a comfort for me atp. Could you please do grumpy reader where she doesn’t talk to others a lot. That makes Miguel look like an extrovert (even though we both know that’s not true 😭). Happy Easter 🐣 and or any holiday you celebrate.

Two Peas in a Pod

c.....comfort,,,,, sad hamster meme the highest honor i could ever get omg thank you i really liked this ask because its basically me haha my friend actually told me ive gotten better at being more welcoming and "nice" and another friend would tell me that i could never mask my uncomfortableness if someone was bothering me LMFAO but as alwayyssssss i can rewrite this request for u if ur not satisfied :) Art: nellwhre17 on instagram

Spider-People were supposed to be funny and outgoing. It was in their canon to have some resemblance to the original quippy and humorous Spider-Man. If not outgoing then at least a little endearing and sweet.

So the Spider Society is a little thrown off when you’re introduced to the team by Miguel. Both of your arms are crossed, your face blank and looking over other Spiders with neutrality.

“Here’s our new recruit. She’ll be working more with Margo and Lyla. Think of her as one of your superiors like myself or Jess or Peter B.” Miguel tilts his head at all the other Spiders. “That’s all. Dismissed.”

He turns to face back to his console, returning to work on new files Lyla had presented to him. Some Spiders stay to chat with you. They don’t notice the slight discomfort and annoyance in your face.

“Hey! My name is Peter M! I think we might be the same age!” One says, his mask squinting to look like he’s smiling.

“Have you gone on a mission yet? What Earth are you from?”

“Has Miguel explained The Canon to you yet? It’s a little overwhelming, I know.”

The commotion irks you a bit, the Spiders coming into your personal space so you shuffle away and your brows instinctively scrunch together. “No, I’m fine.” You mutter curtly. The others finally see the change in your demeanor and they awkwardly step back.

Miguel turns over to see the few Spiders around and barks at them to stop. “She’s still new to all this so don’t go around pestering her.”

They smile wearily up at him then at you, whose face is still contorted a bit in a way that looks like you’re obviously still being bothered.

They get the message and wave goodbye to you but not without feeling a chill down their spine at how cold you were. Maybe you were just shy. Everything is and always will be overwhelming around here with different variants of yourself. So, they believed in time you’d come around like the others.

You, in fact, did not come around. After weeks, months even, you still came in and left without a word. Get in and get out. You rarely engaged in conversation and if you were in a group, you’d keep to yourself. If someone tried to include you, you’d just say a few blunt words that didn’t move the conversation at all so there'd be an awkward standstill before moving on.

No matter what, no one knew anything else about you besides your name, you were a Spider-Woman and the name of your Earth.

Even the esteemed group of young SpiderLings couldn’t even get you to open up. Jess and Gwen had just come back from a mission, wanting to eat at the cafeteria before heading home. They had found seats beside Hobie and Pav who were just catching up together.

Pav had mentioned trying to talk to you once but his bright personality pushed you further and further away from him, your responses to his questions becoming more and more short and quick.

“I’ve never met such a complicated individual.” He pouts, crossing his arms on the table.

“Don’ bother me none. I don’ like someone tryin’ to bug me either.” Hobie scratches the back of his neck.

“Would’ve thought they opened up by now.” Gwen brushed her hair out her face. “It’s like pulling teeth with her.”

“She just seems kinda grumpy sometimes…” Pav sighs resting his head in his arms. “Even more than Miguel which feels wrong.”

“Yeah, at least Miguel snaps at you but she…kinda just sits there.” Gwen leans back with a weak smile. “Not really sure how to make conversation when she’s so quiet.”

“She just doesn’t feel like talking, guys. Go easy on her.” Jess rubs her temples.

Their conversation is cut short when Miguel walks through the cafeteria, documents in hand and with you in tow. Speak of the Devil.

“Jess, Gwen, I misremembered about giving you the reports of your last mission together. I also have the analysis for the next one on Earth—199B.” Miguel hands the reports to Jessica and she immediately skims through it. Gwen looks over her shoulder and gives you a smile.

“Hey, how’s it going?” She asks.

You respond with a shrug and a nod. “Good.”

Gwen’s smile wavers, laughing nervously as the awkward silence. She expected some sort of greeting back.

Miguel answers for you. “She’s been with me the whole day since Peter’s been busy at home.” Gwen looks to Miguel.

“And how about you, boss? Doin’—uh—doin’ good?”

Miguel sighs, crossing his arms. “Better now that Margo fixed what Hobie broke in the console room.”

Hobie tsks. “Did not. You’re jus’ blamin’ me ‘cause I’m the scapegoat around ‘ere. Tha’ it?”

Miguel pulls up camera footage from his Gizmo, of Hobie pulling apart different motherboards and CPUs from the server and tucking them away in his pocket. “Is this not you?!”

Hobie squints at the footage and shrugs. “AI has truly come a long way, mate. Bettah check tha’ out.”

Gwen, Pav and Jessica laugh at the scene, giggling at the sheer anger on Miguel’s face and Hobies indifference. You watch with a soft smile up at Miguel but nothing else.

Miguel feels your hand on his forearm and he looks down at you. You nod your head to the side, signaling it’s time to go. He looks at the time on his watch and collects himself.

“We’re gonna head out. Don’t bother us unless there’s an emergency and be alert for any sudden messages should I need to contact any of you for anomalies.” He turns and gives a small wave before leaving, you trailing behind him.

You don’t say much other than looking behind to give them a small nod and following beside Miguel.

The group watches as Miguel talks to you, relating information and talking your ear off about missions and the to-do for the day. You listen quietly, eyes held on his and nodding along.

They glance at each other and think they would’ve never seen a person more closed off than Miguel in their lifetime. Even less where it looks like he’s more talkative compared to you. What an odd pair. “I think she has opened up. Maybe just not with us.” Jess leans back with a smile.

#nonie requests ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚#requests ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel x reader #miguel spiderverse #miguel ohara #miguel spiderman #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #miguel x you #miguel x y/n #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 x you

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cc--2224 · 10 days

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I Told You So

Pairing: Tech x F!Reader

Summary: After a mission goes wrong, Tech realizes that you are more precious to him than he originally thought, and though he is upset that you didn’t listen to him, he is more upset that he nearly lost you. And he intends to finally do something about it.

Warnings: This is very much 18+ Minors do not interact! Slight canon typical violence and mentions of injuries in whatever plot this has, smut; oral - f receiving, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you tap it!!), porn with feelings, possessive Tech, slight praise kink? language

Notes: I don’t know where this came from, it has been a minute since I’ve written anything remotely spicy let alone an actual smut fic. But please let me know what you think!

Word Count: 5.5k

Taglist: None, let me know if you'd like to be added!

Masterlist

Edit: Thank you all for the likes and reblogs!! I hope you enjoyed it 💚

"It is unwise for any of us to go out on our own, we should be working in teams of two." Tech pointed out as you were gearing up for your mission. You were to locate and rescue a Republic senator who had been imprisoned by the Separatists and bring them back to Coruscant.

"There's an odd number, we can't go in teams of two." You pointed out. "I can handle myself, I don't want to divide your squad."

Ever since you had teamed up with Clone Force 99, you had gotten to know them well, but you still felt like an outsider. In some ways, you were, but you never really felt like one of the team. It wasn't uncommon for you to be the odd one out for teamwork, and to you, this was no different.

In truth, you had always hoped to be partnered with Tech when you were given the briefing, but his talents were more complementary with one of his brothers. Ever since you met him, you were drawn to him, his brains, his demeanor, the way he lit up when speaking about something that interested him which ended up being nearly everything. He was handsome and skilled, and he welcomed you into the squad immediately, over the following months, you began developing feelings for him.

It never hindered your performance on missions, not only because you were never paired up with him, but you were good at compartmentalizing your feelings from your work. You wanted to get closer to him, but there never seemed to be a good time, and even if there was, you just didn't know how to bridge the gap.

"You can join Crosshair and myself, it will be safe for you." He suggested.

"We'll cover more ground in three groups. I'll be fine, I doubt there are even going to be any platoons that far out."

Tech shrugged, "Suit yourself. I will send you the coordinates for our rendezvous point. Keep your comm on."

You nodded and left the Marauder with your equipment.

You had no idea that this mission would be more dangerous than many you had encountered, but Tech knew, he always did.

As you approached the outskirts of the village, you saw a clear path straight through to the compound where you suspected the senator was held. It seemed a little too good to be true, there should have been droids out here, not full platoons, but someone keeping watch.

You drew your blaster to be safe, and crept onward, keeping an eye out for anything out of place. You could hear chatter over the comms of the others checking in with each other, and then you heard Tech say your name.

“All clear. As I said.”

Tech didn’t reply and you lowered the volume on your comm, still keeping it on, but not wanting to draw attention to yourself.

You had made it about halfway through the clearing when you saw blaster fire strike about ten paces to your left. You looked up, trying to see where it came from when you saw a platoon of B1s headed your way.

“Easy work.” You mumbled to yourself, aiming your blaster forward, shooting them as they neared you.

It was easy work at first, but there didn’t seem to be an end to them. When you’d shoot one, two more would appear, and before you could even disable a squadron of them, a tank appeared over the horizon.

“Kriff.” You said.

You considered calling for backup, but your pride couldn’t handle Tech telling you that he told you so, so instead you took a grenade out of your pack and threw it toward the platoon. It didn’t seem to damage the tank, but it at least got rid of the marching battle droids.

If you had raised your comm to ask for help, you would have heard Hunter say that the target was secure, and call for everyone to return to the ship, but you were the only one who didn’t check in.

“Tech, Crosshair, you two go find her. Wrecker and I will bring the senator back to the ship.” Hunter told them.

They left their post and headed to your last known location.

“Why didn’t she just join our team?” Crosshair finally asked.

“I did suggest it, but due to her stubborn nature, she was certain she would be fine on her own.” Tech’s tone indicated his annoyance. He wanted to be as annoyed as he sounded, but more than anything he was worried.

He liked having you around, you were always willing to listen to him prattle on about whatever topic was on his mind. You were kind, you treated him and his brothers well. The idea that you could be taken from them had never crossed his mind until now. Unlike you, he had no idea of the way he felt about you. He had rarely had feelings for anyone before, he didn’t know how it was supposed to feel. All he knew was that he didn’t want to sit through a briefing without you, or ramble on about some useless topic without you intently listening, and he didn’t want your last conversation to be the last conversation. He didn’t want to be right about this one thing.

When they saw the explosion in the distance, he began to fear he was right.

The tank fired toward you, it missed its mark and you were able to avoid a direct hit, but the explosion was just a little too close. You were sent flying back from the shock wave, and you could hear buzzing in your ear before everything went black.

If you hadn't gone out on your own, someone could have been looking out for you. Tech could have been looking out for you, just as he insisted upon.

But instead, you were so certain you could handle yourself that you had gotten yourself in trouble.

You woke up in your bunk, bandaged and sore, but still alive. You didn’t know what happened, and you weren’t exactly eager to find out, but you knew you had to face everyone eventually.

Wrecker smiled at you when you walked into the cockpit, “Well look who’s finally awake!”

Crosshair didn’t say anything, instead looking at the back of Tech’s chair.

You heard a sigh, and then Tech turned his chair around, eyeing you up and down.

“Something you need to say?” He finally asked.

“What happened with the mission?”

Hunter spoke, “Got the senator. We’ll be arriving on Coruscant shortly.”

Had you really been asleep that long?

"I told you you should not have gone on your own." It seemed Tech was tired of the small talk.

You looked at him, unsure of what he wanted you to say. “I was just doing my part of the mission, nothing I did was out of line. I didn't know there would be that many droids on the outskirts." It was a losing argument, and one you'd rather not have in the cockpit of the Marauder in front of everyone, but Tech didn't seem interested in anything but the argument.

"Precisely. If you had gone with Crosshair and I, you would not have encountered those droids. And now you are injured because of your own mistake." He had raised his voice, something you’d never heard him do.

You flinched slightly at his words but he continued, “What happened to keeping your comm on? We were trying to reach you.”

“My comm was on!” You retorted, “Just turned it down so I wouldn’t be spotted.”

“Yes well, a lot of good that did you.” He responded sarcastically. “We might not be there to save you next time. Keep that in mind before you choose to do something so reckless.” He turned away from you, facing the front again.

Your eyebrows furrowed at the back of the chair, "I didn’t ask to be saved, in fact I’d rather be back there with the droids. Maybe then-"

Hunter cut into your argument. "That is enough, both of you."

He looked at you with his eyebrows knit together, "Go lay down, rest is going to help your injuries, arguing is not."

You opened your mouth to protest, but before you could say anything, you turned and went to your bunk.

After you were out of earshot, Hunter spoke to Tech.

"What was that about? You can't just yell at her, she got hurt, she learned her lesson already."

"As I have mentioned, she would not have-"

"Stow it. We all know what's going on between you, even if you don't. You need to figure it out before your next outburst." Hunter turned in his chair to face the front of the ship again. Tech looked on at the dancing lights of hyperspace.

Tech didn’t speak to you for the next week. The five of you were granted time off after saving the senator and you had all decided to spend it on Coruscant, but with the tension in the ship, it didn’t seem like much of a vacation.

You knew that all you had to do was apologize, but you didn’t feel like you did anything wrong.

You knew the others were getting tired of yours and Tech’s attitudes; they all knew that it was more than just the mission. They knew about your feelings for each other, and they knew how worried Tech had been as he treated your wounds and bandaged you up.

The only thing they could do was to force a resolution.

“Okay, we’ve had enough.” Hunter said loud enough for both you and Tech to hear at opposite ends of the ship. “We’re all going out. And that includes the two of you.”

He slammed down a flyer he had found for a gondola ride through the upper levels, complete with all the sights Coruscant had to offer.

“Is that really necessary?” You asked, glancing at Tech from the corner of your eye. You couldn’t think of anything less beneficial than the five of you being cramped together in a confined space you couldn’t leave.

“It isn’t a request.” Hunter informed you.

You sighed and left the ship, followed by the others, and finally Tech, and you made your way to the park where the dock was located.

The five of you slowly arrived at the front of the queue, and when it was your turn, you were shoved into a gondola along with Tech. None of the other batchers joined you, but before you thought to exit, the vessel's door had closed and you were moving.

You sat down on the bench across from Tech, still avoiding eye contact by looking out the window, arms crossed.

Tech still kept his silence. Even a week later, he was still considering Hunter's words. Was there something between him and you? He knew he didn’t want to lose you, but that was completely normal, wasn't it? And even if it wasn’t normal, that doesn’t mean whatever he felt was reciprocated. But if you did return his feelings, he knew this might be one of the only chances he had to act on it, to tell you how he felt.

When the gondola had reached nearly the top of the track, the view overlooking the Jedi temple, he sighed and finally looked at you.

"You see, I... I felt responsible for your injuries."

"You felt responsible?" You repeated after a pause. "Wasn't it my fault that I got injured? For not following your oh-so-wise plan?"

You were acting petulant, but your emotions were still running high and the confined space didn't help.

"Well yes, if you had done as I suggested, you would have been free from injury."

"Right, because you know everything."

"Crosshair and I left with zero injuries. So yes, this I know to be fact."

"Do you really have to say 'I told you so'? I'm sorry, is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry that I got hurt because I didn't l-"

You didn't have time to react before you felt Tech's lips upon yours. One hand was on the side of your face and the other was digging into your waist.

The vessel rocked slightly at his movement, causing you to grip onto the bench. Your eyes were still wide at the sudden contact, but when he didn't back away, you closed your eyes and deepened the kiss, moving your hands to place them on his chest.

He stopped to take a breath, his lips still hovering tantalizingly close over yours, breathing you in, committing your perfumed smell to memory.

You closed the gap this time when you decided he had enough time to catch his breath.

His tongue darted out and swiped across your lip, asking for access to explore. You allowed it, moaning into his mouth when you felt his tongue against yours.

In one swift movement, he sat on the bench and pulled you into his lap, resuming the kiss once you had situated yourself.

Your hands moved up, resting on his shoulders briefly before snaking your arms around the back of his neck, holding him close. You could feel his strong hands massaging your thighs before resting on your ass, testing the waters by giving it a squeeze, you bucked your hips slightly in response.

You could feel a coiling sensation in your stomach, a heat pulsing through you, and pooling out onto your panties. You wanted him, and you could feel based on his actions and the stiff bulge in his pants that he wanted you just as badly.

He broke the kiss, and moved his head back, causing you to chase after his kiss. He put a finger to your lips and smirked.

"You must be patient, the gondola ride is near the end of its course, and I still have more to say about the mission."

You frowned in protest, feeling all that heat suddenly dissipate as he gently pushed you off of him.

"Not to worry, the Marauder is nearby, no one else will be there and we can continue our conversation there, if that is what you want."

You nodded in agreement.

"I apologize, but I will need to hear an answer before I can comply."

"Yes, I want that." You said too quickly, trying and failing to not sound too desperate.

He smirked again. "Good girl. You and I still have much to discuss."

You whined slightly at his praise, then waited for the door to open as you neared the dock.

After disembarking, Tech grabbed your hand, pushing past the people exiting their respective vessels. Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair were nearby, but you didn't see them as Tech ushered you back toward the landing port.

"I guess they finally talked about it." Wrecker had said, staring wide-eyed after you two.

"We should probably give them some privacy so they can talk more." Hunter shook his head, smirking toward the ground.

"Just as long as they don't talk in my bunk." Crosshair said as he crossed his arms.

The door to the Marauder wooshed open, and the two of you hurried on board. Tech was back on you before it could close again.

He pushed you back into the wall, pinning you there as he kissed you. Placing hot kisses on your lips, your cheek, your jaw, your neck, anywhere he could.

"Do you realize how worried I was when I saw you?" He asked between kisses. "When I heard the explosion, when I rushed over only to find your body on the ground?"

He stopped kissing you and looked into your eyes, "I thought I lost you before you were even mine to lose."

"Tech.." You tried to move a hand from his grip to place it on his face, but he tightened his hold on it. “I’m sorry.”

“I do not want your apologies.” He told you, “I want you by my side, I want you to be safe. I…” He kissed you again, this time more roughly, eliciting a moan from you again. “I want you to be mine.”

Behind his goggles, his pupils were dilated, his eyes half-lidded.

The coiling feeling returned. Your stomach was in knots. You had never seen Tech like this before, you hadn’t seen him behave so possessively, and you wanted to see more of it.

"Then make me yours." You said, only a whisper. “I want to be yours.”

His mouth found yours again, not bothering to ask you to give his tongue space to enter but instead forcing it past your lips. His knee slotted itself between your legs, close enough to tease you, but not close enough to give you friction where you desired it most. You bucked your hips trying to find it on your own, and he smiled into the kiss.

"What do you want, mesh’la?" He asked you.

You bucked again in response. He removed one hand from yours and brought it down, pushing your hips back against the wall so you couldn't move them again.

"I told you, I need to hear your words. Tell me what you want."

"I want you. I-I need you."

"Then I should not keep you waiting."

He let go of your hip, and with the hand that was still holding yours above you, he guided you over toward the console.

"Here?" You asked.

"Well, of course." He guided your hips downward so that you were seated. "I cannot help but think about how pretty you would look while I fucked you right on the console of my ship."

You let out an involuntary moan at just his words alone.

He caressed the side of your face, and with a feather-light stroke across your jaw, he tilted your chin up to meet your gaze. Despite his words just a moment ago, he placed a gentle kiss on your lips once more, and his hand slowly traveled down your neck, over your breast, down your stomach, and rested at the hem of your shirt.

He looked into your eyes, silently asking for permission. You nodded eagerly and he pulled your shirt up over your head. He tossed it onto the seat behind him and then looked at you, admiring the newly uncovered parts of you.

"Beautiful." He whispered. Out of everything done so far, this one word was enough to make you blush, you tried to turn your head away but he stopped you.

Leaning down over you, he placed a kiss on your shoulder, then your collarbone, trailing down to your breasts, still obstructed by your bra. His lips kissed the top of one, while his hand held the other over the fabric. You reached behind your back and unclasped it, giving him access to another part of you where you wanted to feel his touch.

He tutted quietly. "I could have done that myself."

You rolled your eyes jokingly and he resumed allowing his lips to explore your skin, now alternating between kissing and sucking. And where his lips weren't, his hands were. Squeezing the flesh, thumbing over your nipple while his mouth worked on the other.

Soon, he continued his exploration, and as he neared your stomach, he lowered himself down until he was kneeling between your thighs.

His gaze was hungry as it focused on your center, his lips formed a tight line, holding his mouth closed to prevent his tongue from hanging out.

His hands were on your knees, he trailed them up your thighs, stopping at the waistband of your pants, once again looking up at you to ask your permission. You situated yourself to make it easier for him to remove them, and soon they too were discarded, thrown back toward the pilot chair. His hands were back on your thighs, prodding the soft skin, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses on each of them, sucking them enough to leave marks.

You whined, both at the sensation of him marking your legs, but also at the lack of sensation where you really wanted him to be.

He smirked up at you, and then spread your legs further apart, slowly moving his face toward your aching cunt. He could see how turned on you were, and he licked his lips before speaking.

"Stars, you appear to be soaked."

"Mmhm." Was all you could manage, all your attention was on the fact that he was inches away from giving you the friction you needed.

"Cyar'ika.." He scolded. "Words. You need something of me, what is it?"

"I... I just need you, I need your mouth, your fingers, your cock, I-I need to feel you." Your desperate words turned his gaze dark.

"Good girl, telling me everything you want," his praise caused you to squirm, trying to close your thighs just to feel friction, but he held them open.

"You enjoy it when I call you that?"

"Gods, yes." You moaned.

He hummed in response, keeping that knowledge filed away.

He finally pressed his face forward, nose rubbing against your clothed pussy. You whined in response. He dragged the tip of his nose upward, knowing exactly where you wanted to be touched, and he hooked his fingers around the waistband of your panties, relishing in your whines and pleas for him to finally take them off of you, and soon he relented, letting them join the rest of your clothes before he dove in.

He ate you like a man starved, licking you through your folds, tasting as much of you as he could.

"G-ah, fuck, Tech," you cried out, your hands reaching for his hair. The feeling of your hands gripping his hair causing him to groan.

His lips wrapped around your clit, alternating between sucking it and circling his tongue around it. He could feel you squirming at his touch and he reached one hand up, resting it on your hips, hoping to help anchor your.

With his other hand, he circled your entrance, teasing you, making you beg him to touch you before he obliged.

He slid one long finger into you as far as he could, pressing against the spongy walls, exactly where you needed to feel him.

He let go of your clit and let his tongue run up and down your folds, getting another taste of your juices.

"M-mmo-" You began to say, being cut off by the feeling of his tongue making another swipe up.

"My apologies, you will have to repeat yourself." He looked up at you, his face slick with your arousal.

"More, I need more."

He raised an eyebrow and plunged another finger into you. Your head rolled back and you cried out.

"Is that what you wanted?"

"Yes!"

Your grip tightened on his hair, pulling his face back into you. His hot breath fanned against your cunt and you sighed in contentment.

"Gods, you are a needy thing." His purred, his voice vibrated against you as he attached himself to your clit again.

He sucked on you while his fingers made scissor patterns inside you, all the while you could feel the coil start to tighten.

"I'm close-" You cried out. He didn't change anything about his rhythm. He strived to get you there, he was eager to please you after he had been so harsh toward you earlier. His tongue circled your clit and he could feel you pulsing around his fingers.

You could feel the heat growing in your stomach, your moans got louder as you got closer. He slid his fingers out, and before you could complain about the loss, you felt his tongue swiping up and down before dipping inside you. His fingers resumed drawing circles on your clit as he drank from you.

Your thighs clenched together, forcing him to stay exactly where he was, you muttered out a string of curses as the coil finally snapped and you cried his name as you came undone. He kept lapping at you until you were through.

You released your hold on his hair and he stood back up.

"You taste magnificent," He smirked, licking your arousal off his fingers before his mouth found yours again. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he leaned you back onto the console. You shuddered when you felt his stiffened cock press against you. His hands began grabbing at your breasts and your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him in.

"You are perfect." He said as he began kissing every piece of you he could. He locked onto your neck, he kissed you fervently, then gently bit down, giving you a mark that would be difficult to hide from the others, not that they didn’t already have an idea of what was going on here. But that’s what Tech wanted, he wanted to show everyone that you were his.

"Tech.." You said quietly,

"Mm?"

"I want to see you." You pushed yourself back up onto your elbows and looked into his eyes.

For a moment, just for a moment, he froze, but soon enough, his hands moved to the fastener on his pants.

"Let me do that."

He smirked and helped you off the console gently.

You worked on the buttons on his shirt first, unbuttoning them slowly, placing gentle kisses on his chest as each loose button reveals it to you.

He tilted your chin up and leaned in for a kiss, pressing against you. You could feel his stiff bulge press into you again and your hands moved faster to unbutton his shirt.

You pushed it off his shoulders when it's finally unbuttoned, and you looked at his toned chest. You knew he'd be strong but it was still a surprise to you. Your fingers danced across his torso, feeling the muscles under his smooth skin, before finally landing on the fastener of his pants.

You look up at him, just as he did for you, asking for his permission. He pressed his forehead against yours in response, you smiled and kissed his lips, then moved to undo the fastening. He helped you to slide his pants off, and he stepped out of them, kicking them off to the side.

You could see the outline of his cock much clearer against his briefs and you could feel your mouth water, you clenched your thighs together, not wanting to wait to feel it inside of you. He raised an eyebrow at you.

"You desire it so badly?" He asked you, forcing your gaze away from it and back up to him.

You nod quickly, "Yes."

He smiled then rutted his hips against you, "Then please, continue."

Your hands moved to the waistband of his briefs, he moved his lips to yours again and you returned the kiss before kissing along his jaw, then his neck. You peeled the waistband down and he hissed as his briefs grazed across his cock. They had soon joined the rest of the clothes and you looked down.

You bit your bottom lip and you started to lower yourself down but he stopped you. You gave him a confused look, and he smirked.

"There will be plenty of time for that at a later time. But for now,"

He continued by guiding you back onto the console, laying your back down and he stood between your legs with his hands on your thighs.

"Are you comfortable?" He asked.

"Yes," you assured him.

You felt his cock rub against your folds, before he positioned himself at your entrance.

"Ready?" He asked.

You bucked your hips in response and he pushed himself in without another word.

You arched your back as you felt him stretch you open, if there was any pain, it quickly turned into pleasure as he buried himself in you inch by inch.

When he was fully sheathed, he gave you a moment to adjust before he started to move. He started out slow, he made sure that you were used to the feeling of his thrusts before he picked up the pace.

"Gods, you are taking me so well, cyar'ika."

You replied with a moan. You bucked your hips to meet his pace and he smirked.

"Is there something you want?"

"Mmm p-please, go fas-faster" you answered between thrusts.

"Very well," He obliged, his hands gripped onto your thighs and he buried himself again, quickening his pace at your request. He looked at you as you took his cock, the way your back arched, how your tits bounced with each thrust, the way your face contorted in pleasure.

He tightened his grip on your thighs, you took that as a hint to wrap your legs around his waist and he moaned in response, feeling himself go even deeper inside you.

"You are so perfect, such a good girl for me." Your walls clenched around his cock at his praise.

He thrusted into you harder wanting to explore the new angle he was permitted.

“Fu-uck,” you whined.

"Is this okay?" He asked, unsure of if he was hurting you.

"Gods, yes!"

He set a brutal pace, but you bucked your hips, meeting his thrusts each time.

Tech could feel himself nearing his climax, his pace started to become slightly more erratic. He slid one hand down your thigh toward your center. He circled your clit with his thumb, intending on sending you over the edge with him.

Your walls clenched around him again at the contact. You were getting close again. Your moans grew louder as you neared the edge.

"That's it," He said, he wanted to feel you come undone again. He continued circling your clit as he thrusted into you. "Be a good girl and come for me once more, come on my cock."

Your second orgasm crashed over you without as much of a warning as the first, your legs tightened around him, he slowed his thrusts down, helping you through it, and he moaned at how your walls constricted him. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

"Wh.. Where do you want me?" He asked.

"In-inside," you said, still overcoming the last of the waves of pleasure.

He didn't ask any further questions, he buried himself as far as he could before he stilled, his cock twitching inside you as he painted your walls with hot ropes of his seed.

He moaned out your name as he finished, feeling himself soften inside of you, he pulled himself out of you and you pushed yourself up, wrapping your arms around his neck, kissing his lips, your tongue darting into his mouth.

He returned the kiss, holding you close to him, and his hands traveled across your thighs, before lifting you up from the console.

“I love you.” You told him, resting your head on his shoulder as he held you. “I think I always have, but… In case it still wasn’t obvious.”

He smiled and carried you toward the refresher, sitting you down on the counter when you arrived, giving you a chaste kiss on the lips. “Perhaps it was not obvious over the last week, but now, I would have more questions if you did not.” He smiled at you, “I love you too. But next time, if I ask you to join me on a mission instead of going off on your own, please listen to me.”

“But look where it brought us.” You replied with a smirk.

“Perhaps that is true, but for your own information, you do not need to nearly get yourself killed in order for me to fuck you. You could have just asked.”

He grabbed a towel before he quickly left to retrieve your clothes and clean off the console. Tech soon returned to you and turned the water on, helping you off the counter and guiding you to the shower where he joined you. It didn’t take long for his lips to be on you once again.

While it was your stubbornness that led you to this point in the first place, you were suddenly very eager to see what would happen on the next mission, should you and Tech finally be paired together.

219 notes · View notes

rubyreduji · 9 months

Text

timeless — ljh

summary: you’ve just met jihoon, yet something about him feels familiar

tags: fluff, romance, reincarnation?, gn!reader warnings: arranged marriages, mentions of death and war reader notes: no pronouns or explicit gender descriptions but they do take a more feminine role in history, jihoon picks up the reader but my mans is strong okay don’t worry wc: 10.3k an: i’ve been writing this for over a month now fjdskla and i like the finished product but im a bit worried the format is choppy but either way please enjoy and show it lots of love...also happy first fic of the 2nd year of rubyreduji!!!

“Soonyoung, stop it!” You scold your best friend as he giggles at you.

“Just go talk to him!” Soonyoung tells you, pushing you towards the door to the antique shop next to your favorite boba place.

Him refers to the cute cashier you always see through the windows when you and Soonyoung go and get boba (which is about three times a week). It’s nothing more than a hallway crush but Soonyoung keeps insisting that it could be more than that if you would just go talk to him.

You don’t actually want to talk to the boy who stands at the counter with a smile, but before you can stop him Soonyoung is opening the door to the store and forcing you inside. When you turn around to chew your best friend out, you find him not there, his back already retreating to the boba shop.

A part of you wants to just dash back out the door but the bell attached to the door has already gotten the attention of the cashier and you can’t escape now.

“Welcome to The Eternity Emorpium, today anything marked with a green sticker is 20% off.” The voice isn’t what you expected Cute Cashier to sound like but when you turn around to face him, you realize you’re not talking to Cute Cashier at all.

Rather than the tall boy with glasses you’ve been peeking in on for the past few months, you come face to face with a short yet buff boy with long black hair. He most definitely is not the guy you came in for, but you have to admit he is just as (if not more) cute than the other cashier.

You’re not sure how you didn’t notice that your normal Cute Cashier wasn't behind the counter, but in your defense you were too busy fighting off Soonyoung.

You give the new cashier—who you have now dubbed Even Cuter Cashier—a smile, before pretending to look at all of the memorabilia set out. The actual shop is nice with an obvious theme and specific layout that only someone with an eye for aesthetic and organization could create. On the speakers a Bruno Mars song is playing and you wonder if it's the cashier who has control over the music or just a general store playlist.

You feel awkward walking around the shop, letting out fake hums every once in a while to make it seem like you're actually shopping and not just sneaking glances at Even Cuter Cashier whenever you can. You stop in front of a playing card deck and you pick it up, flipping it over in your hand a couple of times.

"Oh, we just got those in," Even Cuter Cashier says, startling you a bit. "Put them on the floor this morning. You into cards?"

"Oh, uh," Shit. This is your chance to talk to him, "yeah. My dad is more of a collector than I am, but I can see the appeal."

"Nice. Yeah I'm more of a guitar collector myself, but my wallet wishes I wasn't," he says and you both laugh.

"That's cool though. I would love to learn how to play an instrument but I definitely don't have the talent or patience for that." As you speak with the man you slowly start to drift towards the counter.

"Hey, anyone can be talented, it just takes practice." You quickly glance down at Even Cuter Cashier's name tag to see his actual name is Jihoon.

"Good inspirational quote, but I think I'll just stick to the playing cards," you tell him with a grin as you set the pack down in front of him.

Jihoon just pushes the cards back to you and when you give him a questioning look he just grins. "They’re on the house.”

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that,” you tell him.

“I wanted to,” he says. “Maybe it’s just my plan to get you to come in here again.”

You smile at Jihoon, your face starting to turn a bit hot. You pick up the pack of cards and bid goodbye to the cashier before turning and leaving. Soonyoung is standing outside the door with two boba cups in hand. He peeks in when you open the door and frowns.

“That’s not Cute Cashier.”

“Nope! That’s Even Cuter Cashier,” you tell your best friend.

“You’re abandoning the other guy already?”

“I can’t abandon someone I don’t even know,” you scoff, “and anyway, I think I like Even Cuter Cashier. Something about him…it feels like destiny.”

Soonyoung laughs at you, but you ignore him, your mind still lingering on the dark haired boy from earlier. The more you think about him, the more your heart starts to grow warm. You can’t place it, but something about Jihoon feels familiar, and you need more.

1500s

“You are to be married to Prince Wonwoo before the solstice hits.”

Your head shoots up, staring at your father, not sure if you hear his words correctly. There’s no possible way he said that. You can think of a dozen reasons why that’s impossible, a few including: 1. You’ve never met Prince Wonwoo in your life, why would he want you as his betrothed? 2. You two did not have a courtship and it would be a scandal for you two to get married without presenting as a couple to the public first. 3. Your family is not nearly important enough to be noticed by royalty. 4. (And this is the biggest one) You are in love with someone else.

Well, your father doesn’t know that you’re in love with someone else, but it’s still an important fact to note.

Despite all of these reasons, your father continues to talk about the arrangement, not noticing the shock on your face. You wonder about how it came to be, and without you hearing even a whisper about it.

“You will be meeting with a royal advisor in two days, please do not cause any trouble.” With that your father walks ways, leaving you with a million questions brewing your mind.

The main one being: how are you going to tell Jihoon about this?

For over a year now you’ve been seeing the same man, sneaking out whenever you can to meet him. He came into town with a bang (quite literally — his caravan practically falling apart with all of his belongings crashing to the ground as it did) and you’ve been captivated by him since.

Your days are never boring when Jihoon is around, the two of you either going on adventures or hanging out in Jihoon’s (new) caravan. Though, you think your most favorite times spent with Jihoon are late at night, when you two meet up on the outskirts of your estate grounds, right on the edge of the forest.

There never is any guessing as to what Jihoon has planned. Some days you two walk around the garden under the moonlight, talking and gazing up at the stars, while other nights you’re whisked off to another town to dance the night away in a hidden tavern. You love the guise of the night, being able to do whatever and be whoever without the fear of onlookers and their judgment. It’s just you and Jihoon in your own little world.

Maybe that’s why you’ve been keeping him a secret for so long, you like keeping him all to yourself. No one can taint your relationship if they don't know about it. Though you suppose that has backfired on you now.

You don’t see your father for the rest of the night and when the sunsets and you slip out the back door and walk down to the forest edge, you do it with a heavy heart. As always Jihoon is standing next to the tree he carved your initials in, a wide grin on his face and a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

As soon as he spots you approaching his face lights up in a grin. He trots up to you the rest of the way, scooping you up into a hug.

"I've missed you," he says, pressing kisses to your lips and cheeks. You giggle at his antics.

"You saw me two days ago, my dear."

"Oh but that's two days too long for an aching heart in love."

Other people may think it's cheesy but you can't help but adore the sweet way Jihoon talks to you, always putting his poet background to good use. You smile as Jihoon holds you in his arms, but soon the good mood is ruined by the news you remember you have to break to him.

"What's wrong, my love?" Jihoon asks, seeing the fallen look on your face. He reaches up and pushes your hair out of your face, a habit he has picked up since you two met.

You just sigh and shift so you're out of Jihoon's embrace. Automatically you miss his strong arms around your waist, but you can't bear to look at him as you talk.

“My father has given me away to another man,” you tell him in a hushed voice.

“Who?” Jihoon responds automatically. “I won’t let him take you. I-I’ll fight.”

You finally turn towards Jihoon, the solemn look still firm on your face. “I’m betrothed to Prince Wonwoo.”

“Prince Wonwoo?!” Jihoon looks taken aback. You don’t blame him. Suddenly he deflates. “How am I going to beat that?”

You’re not sure how to respond. The truth is Jihoon can’t compete. That doesn’t mean you’re going to give up hope on him, though.

“We’ll…we’ll figure something out,” you finally say. You step closer to Jihoon, allowing him to wrap you up in his embrace once again.

“I’m not giving up on us,” Jihoon tells you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“We’ll be fine. We have to be.”

When your father told you you’d be meeting with a royal advisor, this isn’t exactly what you were expecting.

When you arrived at the castle you were amazed at the size of it, but you weren’t allowed to gawk for long, being ushered into a sitting room where two men were already conversing. Neither were your soon to be husband though and you wondered when you might actually get to meet the prince.

The two men soon introduced themselves as Soonyoung and Mingyu, two of Prince Wonwoo’s most trusted men. Now two hours later, you’re starting to question the judgment of your betrothed.

Not only are the men completely scatterbrained and disorganized, they also seem to bicker more often than not, making it difficult for you to understand everything they’re telling you. The only thing you really comprehend is that you’re going to be spending a lot more time with the two men up until the wedding.

You’re given a schedule at the end of the day, your upcoming weeks all planned out for you already. Meeting with wedding coordinators, royalty training, garment fittings, and everything else of the like. You frown, thinking about your normally free schedule has now been filled.

Luckily for you, the meeting finished earlier than expected and you don’t hesitate to direct yourself towards the area where Jihoon’s caravan resides. Your lover is delighted to see you but before he can get any words out you’re throwing yourself at him, pulling him into a kiss. You’re desperate to drown in Jihoon and forget reality even just for a moment.

It isn’t until later that you and Jihoon finally exchange words.

“I can hear you thinking,” Jihoon says. You two lay next to each other on his bed, bare bodies pressed together under the linens. Your head rests on his chest and his hands card through your hair. “Was I not satisfactory in taking your thoughts away? What is troubling your mind so much?

“Prince Wonwoo.”

“You’re thinking about Prince Wonwoo after laying so intimately with me?”

“No! Well yes, but- I- shut up,” you grumble, smacking Jihoon’s chest, making his laugh.

You’ve never met the prince before, though you are well knowledged on him. It’s hard not to be when he is to take over the crown in a few years. You try not to think about how that will make you the queen consort.

You’ve only seen Prince Wonwoo in person a handful of times, none too recently, but you still know the prince is very handsome. Not as handsome as you find Jihoon, though you may be a bit biased. He’s also said to be kind, smart, level-headed, and well calculated. You suppose it could be worse.

“I met with his advisors today,” you tell Jihoon. “I guess it’s just all hitting me. This really is going to happen.”

“Hey, listen to me,” Jihoon moves so he can stare at you in the face, “no matter what happens, I will always love you. My heart is still yours.”

“And mine yours,” you tell him softly. “I love you Lee Jihoon. Never forget that.”

You don’t see Jihoon for a while. Your schedule is packed with futile meetings that take up your day and with the news of your engagement to the prince (who you have still yet to meet), there are guards outside of your estate at night.

You suppose you are fortunate that Mingyu and Soonyoung have grown on you in the past few weeks. Though you still think them foolish, you also have a fondness for the pair. You see why Prince Wonwoo puts his trust in them. You find yourself wanting to confide in them, though there is one thing that still remains a secret.

It isn’t until the night before your wedding that you see your love. You are able to lose your guards for a second and you make a beeline straight to Jihoon’s caravan. He’s still awake, sitting outside and staring up at the starry sky when you approach.

“My dear,” you call out to him. Jihoon looks away from the sky to meet your face, a look of surprise flashes over his face before they form into a soft smile.

“You know you really shouldn’t be out so late at night, it is not safe.”

“Well then, why don’t you help me find some shelter kind sir,” you tell him. Jihoon just grins and grabs your hand, pulling you into his home.

You two spent the night wrapped up in each other, exchanging soft kisses and even softer words. When the morning comes Jihoon is still asleep when you awake and while you’d love to give him a proper goodbye, you know you already pushed your luck enough spending the whole night out.

You quickly find a quill and some ink and you grab a piece of Jihoon’s writing parchment and scribble a quick note to him before slipping out the door. It’s only after the caravan is out of sight that you let your tears fall.

The first time you meet Prince Wonwoo is at the altar. Up close he’s even more handsome than you imagined, with soft facial features and kind eyes. You can’t help but still feel a bit disappointed, staring at the stranger in front of you as you recite your wedding vows.

The chapel where you are being wed is packed full of people, mostly nobility. Your attire is suffocating, despite being fitted for it thrice. Across from you, the prince keeps a neutral face and you wonder about his own involvement in this arrangement.

He’s dressed in a formal outfit fit for royalty. The colors pair with your own dressings and you wonder what you two look like from the outfit. A newly bonded couple who will eventually be ruling the whole country. Are you two a handsome, strong presenting couple? Or do you two look like two fools who have never met before?

You were surprised at the way the public took the news of the engagement. You were expecting backlash against the prince, but he is well loved by the public and they were all happy to see the young man finding a partner to settle down with before stepping up to the throne. Despite never having been seen together in public before today, there was a wide talk of your (fake) courtship and how you must be very lucky to have the prince hold your heart.

If only they knew that a lonely, penniless poet was the real caretaker of your love.

It isn’t until the words leave the officiant’s mouth that you realize you will have to kiss the prince. Not only to end the ceremony but for the public to see you two unite as one. You must look as taken aback as you feel because your now husband takes the initiative, stepping forward to close the distance between you two.

Wonwoo cups your face gingerly, his hands are cold and his fingers are boney. He stares at you for a moment, dark eyes gazing into your soul, before he finally leans in.

The moment his lips press against yours you want to jerk out of his hold. It feels wrong. Your lips don’t fit together nicely and there’s no warmth exchanged between you two. You’re both stiff and you note how Wonwoo’s lips aren't as full as Jihoon’s.

The kiss is over within seconds but the damage has been done and you can’t shake the dirty feeling that has grown under your skin. Wonwoo’s hand slides down your arm to clasp your fingers together. Another sign of unity for the public. You force a smile on your face, but the only thing you can think about is how your heart is miles away, in a small caravan on the edge of town.

My love,

I am not sure how you were able to convince the prince’s closest man to be a part of this, but I cannot say am I ungrateful for him. Though I do find him quite eccentric (and slightly obnoxious) I must give him my gratitude.

I miss you tremendously, but the past few letters you have sent me have been acting as bandages over my heart. I read them whenever I feel an ache of your absence, which is quite often.

It is unfortunate you find royal life boring. If I could, you know that I would sweep you off to the farthest lands where we would explore the area during the day and revel at night. I would show you the large world out there and we could experience new joys together.

How I long to have you lay by my side at night. To feel your soft, tender skin against my fingertips. It pains me to even think about it, but it would kill me not to.

I will never stop fighting for us.

Write back soon,

Your Jihoon

My darling,

I saw you today. I was taken quite off guard when I saw you riding in the carriage, next to Prince Wonwoo. I admit, you two make a handsome couple, but not more handsome than us.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen your beautiful face in person, that even seeing you with another man made my heart sing. I couldn’t pull my eyes from you, doing my best to soak in the sight of you because you were once again gone.

You looked quite winsome sitting in the carriage, but you did not look like you. Are you required to wear such extremities every day, or were you dressed for the occasion? Either way I cannot imagine the process of getting ready to be a swift one.

If I am being honest I do not find the purpose of such efforts. Does the prince not find your natural beauty fit to his standards? If so then off with him. Any person with eyes would be fortunate to gaze upon you. I know I was.

Seeing you has only made me yearn more for you. I know it has only been a few weeks since your matrimony to Prince Wonwoo, but to me it has been lifetimes. How I crave to feel your touch, to hear your voice, to kiss your lips.

I know that the idea is futile but I will never give up on you. No matter what, I am still yours. And I hope you are still mine. Even if I only see a glimpse of you once every decade, my heart will still burn for you.

Forever yours,

Your Jihoon

To my heart,

Though you are always in my thoughts, you have been overtaking my mind more often than not lately. Please do not think I am upset about this, it is quite the opposite, but I am afraid I have been missing you a great deal more than usual.

Maybe it is due to a conversation I had the other day. I was at a tavern, catching up with an old acquaintance who was in town, and you came up. Jeonghan questioned if there was a reason why I had settled here and wondered if it was ‘due to my heart’. I laughed and confirmed his suspicions.

We spent a deal of time after that talking about you. It felt liberating being able to speak of you to someone else. I must have rambled on for at least an hour before Jeonghan finally cut me off, telling me how lucky I must be to have someone like you in my life. I had no choice other than to agree with him.

Speaking about you and thinking about you has thrown me into a tumultuous frame of mind. It is quite shameful how often I get lost in fantasies of us and what I wish we could be. You have overtaken my mind, body, and soul. There is not a single night where I do not dream of you.

I hope our future king can see how fortunate he is to be married to you. I would kill thousands of men to be in his position. Your smile itself is worth more than every jewel on his crown. I know I am just waxing poetic at you, but that is my job.

I know we must stay apart, but please mourn the future we could have had for me. Please write back to me with every thought you have about our imaginary future, because even if I cannot have the real thing, my dreams will be enough for me.

Dream of me as well,

Your Jihoon

The life between you and your husband is…comfortable. You two talk, but not often and seldom about anything that is not shallow or mundane. You two sleep side by side at night but the last time you two touched each other was when you danced at your wedding and while his days are spent in meeting, yours are spent wandering the castle grounds and having tea with Soonyoung and Mingyu.

The only thing you find yourself looking forward to in your days anymore is the nightly lettering that you receive from Jihoon. It was only a week into the marriage when Soonyoung noticed how miserable you were. Without being able to hold it in anymore, you told the man about your lover and your heartbreak. It was then that Soonyoung suggested he help you out, acting as a carriage pigeon to deliver letters to and from Jihoon.

One night you are sitting at the desk in your shared chambers with Wonwoo, writing your letter for Jihoon, when Wonwoo speaks up. He is sitting on the bed across the room and his deep voice startles you, not used to talking to the man like this.

“Are you happy?” Wonwoo asks you bluntly, after calling out your name. You take only a moment to form an answer.

“I am content, my lord,” you tell him. Though you have stopped referring to the man as “Prince Wonwoo” in your mind, you cannot help but tack on the formal titles at the end of your sentences to the man.

“But you are not happy. Why?”

“Rest assured your highness, it is nothing you’ve done.”

“Does it have anything to do with the letters Soonyoung delivers to you each evening? The letters you are writing back right now?” You freeze in your seat. You were unaware he knew, but the prince is not ignorant. You suppose you couldn’t keep it a secret forever.

“I-”

“Do not mistake my curiosity for accusation. I’m aware this arrangement is not an ideal situation, and I would not be upset if there was another. I would not even be upset if you wish to be with him,” Wonwoo says.

His words trouble you. There is a benefit for both of you in the marriage, but his words imply he is not exactly happy with the arrangement either. The offer to let you leave him is strange though, and causes you to fault for a moment.

“I am not going to abandon you, sire,” you eventually respond. “I have made an obligation to you.”

“No, your father did. Though we are not well acquainted I still hold empathy and I do not want to be what is keeping you from your happiness. From your happy ending.”

“Either way my father’s word is say, so I will do what he asks of me. It is an honor to be wedded to a man of your status,” you tell him, trying to convince yourself more than anything.

“But that is all it is: status. What about love?”

You don’t answer. You sit there and stare down at the letter you are writing to Jihoon. You think about the wooden box hidden in the drawer that holds his letters.

“Please, I do not wish to cause you turmoil. If you want to go, I will not hold you back,” Wonwoo says.

You finally turn to look at your husband. “You are very kind-hearted, but I cannot accept that offer. I will not tarnish your reputation like that. Do you know the talk that would rise if they heard the soon-to-be king’s spouse up and left? What would your father do to mine? It is too risky.”

Wonwoo has a morose look on his face, like he knows you’re right. “Tell me about him,” he says, surprising you.

You hesitate. You should not talk of your lover to your husband. It is unorthodox and unbecoming. You look at Wonwoo’s curious face though, and you can’t help yourself.

“He’s a poet. I’ve never met someone who can use words the way he does. Even in things as simple as short letters or passing comments, he can make it sound like the most romantic sentence ever uttered,” you tell Wonwoo.

“Tell me more.”

“He has a kind soul, like you. He’s very exciting to be around. He used to travel the world, so I love to hear him regale the tales of his adventures. He likes to take me on our own little adventures as well. One time a traveling show came through a neighboring town and he got us tickets to go watch.”

“You love him greatly.” It is not a question. You just nod to Wonwoo. “You light up when you speak of him. In a way I’ve never seen before.”

You don’t know what to say to him, so you turn your back to him once more, resuming your letter to Jihoon.

You love Jihoon, everyday apart from him feels like you’re struggling to breathe, and under any other circumstance you wouldn’t have stopped at anything to be with him, but you are not under those circumstances. You fought your father, refusing the marriage, even telling him you loved someone else, but he did not listen. He told you this was the one thing he would put his foot down on.

You can’t blame him, how often does someone get the chance to marry a prince. The things this marriage is doing for your family is immeasurable and you cannot in good conscience leave them without a second thought. Not to mention the damage it would do to your family’s reputation, let alone Wonwoo’s. Your family would be shunned by the public and Wonwoo would be labeled a joke of a king.

Not to mention if it was ever discovered what really happened. What would happen if everyone found out why you left? You and Jihoon would surely be ostracized. Town piranhas in even towns in other kingdoms. Jihoon’s career as a poet would be over. You can’t imagine that being a happy life.

Not that you’re particularly happy right now either. You wish you didn’t overthink everything, or else you would have left the town even before you got married. You and Jihoon could be living in his caravan, just you two alone, safe and sound and happy.

It is too late for that though, and now you have to pay the consequences. Married to a man you know nothing about. A man who seems to be rooting for you despite the outcome. It makes you frown. Maybe your first step in figuring it all out is figuring out your husband first.

“Have you ever been in love, my lord?” You decide to ask Wonwoo one day while walking the castle’s grounds. As of recently you two have gotten closer, an interesting bond forming between you two, though most of your time is spent talking of Jihoon. Wonwoo never draws back on his suggestions that you follow your heart.

“Not in the way you are. I was very fond of someone a long time ago, but they loved someone else.” You frown at this news.

“Please excuse the crudeness of my words, sire, but then why do you put so much mind into my love? Do you not wish to be wed to someone?”

“I do,” Wonwoo answers after a moment of contemplation, “but I do not want to be the reason why true love is separated. You and your Jihoon, you are a story of fate. Who am I to get in the middle of it? The public likes me enough, I will be okay. No matter what, I will be okay, but will you?”

Your heart aches and yearns for Jihoon, and your husband is not making it easier. That may have been his goal though.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” You ask Wonwoo. You frown as you stand in front of him, your stomach in knots of worry.

Wonwoo just gives you a soft smile. “I am sure. If anything, I should be worrying about you. Do you have everything you need?”

“Yes. Both Soonyoung and I checked twice. You have ensured that everything will run perfectly.” You reach over and take your husband’s hands in yours, squeezing them tightly. “Thank you, Wonwoo. For everything.”

“Ah, it is the least I could do. Now, you have somewhere to be and I cannot keep you waiting any longer. Send me letters, okay?” With a final squeeze of your hands, Wonwoo lets you go. You smile at the man once more before turning away from him and not looking back.

You slip out of the castle through the servant’s doors and quickly make your way to the outskirts of the grounds. It reminds you of all those times you escaped your own house to meet Jihoon at the edge of the forest. The thought makes a grin grow on your face as you speed up your pace even more.

Just like all the previous times, when you get to the edge of the estate Jihoon is standing there waiting for you. You launch yourself into his arms, allowing him to pick you up and twirl you around. He’s giggling high pitched and gleeful as you two spin around in each other’s arms.

When Jihoon finally puts you down he doesn’t waste a moment and leans in to kiss you. You happily kiss him back, grabbing his face and holding him in place. You can feel a wet stream of tears run down your face, your heart bursting with joy as you reunite with your lover.

His lips are familiar against yours and you automatically feel at home. For the first time in months you can relax, finally back in Jihoon’s arms.

“It’s you,” Jihoon muttres when he finally pulls away. He brings his hands up to caress your face.

“It’s me, my love, it’s me,” you tell him back, tears still flowing freely.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you more.” You lean in and press another quick kiss against Jihoon’s lips. “But we will never have to miss each other again.”

“I’m never letting you go,” Jihoon tells you, gripping you tighter. “Oh how much I love you.”

You giggle. “I love you more. Now come on, let’s get out of here.”

You grab Jihoon’s hand and pull him away from the grounds to where his caravan is waiting for you two. As you two travel further and further away from the town you feel your heart grow lighter and lighter, excited for the rest of your life of adventures with your love.

The next time you see Jihoon is nearly a week later. You and Soonyoung are once again getting boba when you spot the boy behind the counter, just like last time. When you and Soonyoung went and got boba a few days prior you noticed that the original Cute Cashier was working, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit of disappointment at him not being Jihoon.

As soon as you lay eyes on your Even Cuter Cashier, you quickly make a beeline into the shop, your desire for boba long gone.

Jihoon looks up when he hears the sound of the bell ringing and his eyes soften into a smile when he sees you entering through the threshold.

“You came back!”

“I did. It’s hard not to, with the amazing service I got last time,” you say. You casually browse the store as you talk to Jihoon, glancing at him every so often as you do.

“Well I’m glad that my plan to get you to come back succeeded.”

You giggle at Jihoon’s words as you stop in front of a stack of old photos. You flip through them, looking at all the memories they hold. Many of the photos depict different couples, all smiling brightly as they hold each other. The images put a smile on your own face.

“Find something good?” Jihoon asks and you jump a bit at the closeness of his voice. When you turn, you see the man standing by your side.

“Oh, yeah, just these photos! Aren’t they beautiful?” You tilt them a bit to show them off to Jihoon. “I think it’s so amazing that no matter how the world changes, love will always stay the same.”

“Huh, I guess you’re right. Love’s been around since the beginning of time.”

“The love these people were feeling in these photos is the same love we experience today. There really is nothing like it.”

You look back down at the photos. The one in your hand shows a woman clinging onto a man’s arm, her cheek pressed into his bicep as she smiles at the camera. The man himself is smiling as well, though he is smiling down at the woman, rather than the camera.

“They’re cute,” Jihoon mumbles, his own eyes transfixed on the photo.

“Yeah,” you say, “I wonder what’s their story.”

“Something happy, I hope,” Jihoon says before moving to walk back behind the counter. You grab a few more photos from the stack before following after him, placing them on the counter.

Jihoon smiles at you and starts to ring you up. You take a moment to stare at him, your eyes tracing over his fluffy hair and round face and kind smile. You don’t stop staring until Jihoon breaks your focus.

“What? Does my hair look stupid or something?” He grins lazily at you again and you feel your heartbeat quicken.

“Uh, n-no! It’s just…your smile is super familiar to me. Sorry, that may be weird.”

“No, no, it’s not. I guess I kinda felt the same thing the first time you came in,” Jihoon tells you. “Who knows, maybe we knew each other in a past life.”

You chuckle at Jihoon’s joke, but you don’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.

1951

War Against North Korea Rages On, No End in Sight

You frown at the heading, throwing the newspaper aside onto the counter. The news of the North Korean troops invading Seoul changed everyone’s lives, throwing the country into a state of chaos trying to keep them from completely overtaking all of South Korea. Now a year later, the war is still in full force and though you know it’s important to stay updated on what’s happening, you don’t bother with the news articles anymore. They always say more or less the same thing: the war continues on with more casualties and less hope of ending soon.

Your heart grows heavy with each day growing worse than the last. You wish there was more you could do to help the war efforts, but you’re stuck at home taking care of your sick father. He’s the only family you have left, after your mother’s death a few years ago. All of the money received from her passing has gone into your father, but since the start of the war prices have done nothing but skyrocket.

So you spend your days at home taking care of your father, and your nights in a factory working to earn an income. You don’t mind the work though, allowing your mind to focus on something that isn’t the war or your father.

The only other time you get a break, an actual real break, is on Saturdays. It’s the one day in the week you allow yourself to go out, spending the afternoon to yourself getting groceries and taking time to focus on yourself.

You go through the same routine, walking down to the port and spending a few minutes enjoying the waves lapping against the shore, the salty sea water scent filling the air as the summer breeze brushes up against your skin. After taking in the sight of the sea, you move further into town and down the street to the cemetery.

Every Saturday you visit your mother’s grave, sitting with her for a while as you update her on your life and the current events. Occasionally you will bring a book and read aloud. You find the time spent with her calming, her maternal love enveloping you and letting you rest, even for a small bit of time.

Afterwards you browse the shops in town (only looking, never buying) before heading to the market to finish your day off. You spend the money for the groceries to get you through the week before heading back home. You do your best to walk most places you go, not wanting to spend the fare for the trollies.

The streets are busy on the weekend and on your walk back to your house, someone bumps into you causing you to drop your bags, all of your freshly bought groceries tumbling to the ground. The person doesn’t even stop and you can’t bother chasing them too. You just sigh and bend down to pick up the now unusable goods.

You now have to turn around and go back into town to get more groceries. It will take a good chunk out of your funds, but not too much. Maybe you’ll pick up a few more shifts at the factory.

“Excuse me, are you okay?” As you’re thinking about how to make up the price of the ruined groceries, you miss the man who has walked up to you.

When you look up you see a beautiful man with a sweet round face and dark hair staring down at you. He’s dressed nicely in a suit and it takes you a moment to actually respond to him, too distracted by his good looks.

“Pardon?”

“I was asking if you were okay?” The man bends down to help you pick up the rest of the food spilled on the ground. “I saw that man bump into you and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Oh! I’m fine, thank you.” You smile at him, appreciative of the kind gesture.

“But all of your groceries are now ruined. Allow me to buy you more.”

“Oh no! That’s not necessary,” you quickly tell the man. You don’t even know him and you would feel guilty allowing a man who didn’t even cause the casualty to pay for your groceries, especially with the state of the economy.

“I insist,” he says, standing and then helping you stand as well. “It’s the least I could do.”

“Sir it really-” Before you can even finish your sentence the man was walking away, back towards the town. You could just go back home, but then you’d be left with no groceries for the week so you begrudgingly follow him back to the market.

“Lee Jihoon, by the way,” he tells you as you two walk around the market, collecting what you need. You give him your name as well and he grins, a small spark igniting behind his eyes as he tells you how lovely your name is.

When you’re done regathering what you need you move to head to the register, but Jihoon stops you.

“This is all you’re getting? It’s barely enough for any proper meals. Please, add more. I won’t mind, I demand of it actually.” Jihoon then moves to add more to the basket and once again you have to follow along as Jihoon is the one carrying it.

You protest each time a new item is added but Jihoon keeps hushing you like you’re a life long friend rather than a stranger he met on the street no more than thirty minutes ago. By the time Jihoon is satisfied with what’s in your basket, it’s full to the top and you can’t remember the last time you’ve seen so much food in your life. Guilt eats away at you as you think about the money Jihoon is about to drop on you just because someone else made you drop your bags.

It isn’t until you’re checking out and Jihoon casually pulls out multiple banknotes without even a blink of an eye that you realize that not everyone lives like you and that just maybe Jihoon doesn’t mind paying so much because he has the money laying around to do so. Even back when your mother was alive and your father was able to work your family was still paying for everything with scraped up coins.

The sun is already low in the sky by the time you two exit the market and Jihoon stops you once more. “Allow my driver to take you back to your house.”

The sentence alone confirms your suspicions on Jihoon’s monetary status. To own a car is a luxury of its own, but to have a driver as well seals the deal.

You already can tell it’s impossible to turn Jihoon down so you just follow him back to his car. You wonder if his driver followed you after you two walked to the market. When you two get into the car you tell your address to the driver, trying not to get embarrassed at the thought of the nice car driving through your run down little neighborhood.

Jihoon’s driver just nods and starts up the car. The three of you sit in silence until the car pulls up to your house and you climb out. Jihoon does as well, helping carry your groceries to the door.

“It was nice meeting you,” Jihoon says. “If you ever need anything again, give me a call.” He holds out a small white card, his business card, to you. You take it and thank him once more before entering your house, your mind still lingering on the strange, rich man.

You don’t give Jihoon a call, but you don’t have to. You run into him again not even three days after your first interaction. It’s early in the morning and you’re heading back home after work when you hear your name called out. When you turn you see the man’s car rolling up next to you, his head poking out of the back seat window.

“What are you doing walking alone so early in the morning? The sun has barely started to rise.”

"I'm walking back home from work," you answer honestly.

Jihoon's face looks sour at this, like he couldn't imagine working so late at night. "If you have been working all night let me treat you to breakfast."

It's your turn to let your face screw up slightly. You know that Jihoon can afford to buy you breakfast, but you still don't want to feel indebted to him. Not to mention your father will be waking up soon and you'll need to make his breakfast as well. You tell Jihoon as much.

"Then I will buy breakfast for your father too," is his solution.

You're not sure why he keeps insisting on buying you things but you just sigh and climb into the car. Jihoon has a smug grin on his face as he tells his driver where to go.

A few minutes later the car pulls up in front of a diner and you and Jihoon enter. It's nothing extravagant, but still a treat for those with a tight budget.

The two of you sit in silence until a waitress comes and takes your order. Jihoon doesn't allow you to order for yourself, picking what he tells you are the most delicious and filling items. He orders for himself and then a third meal, asking the waitress to not cook it until she brings the check.

You note the way Jihoon has a nice presence to him, friendly and warm and inviting. The way his soft features are accentuated when he smiles, his round cheeks puffing up and his eyes squinting. You find him fascinating, but there's something more than that, something drawing you to him.

"So, where do you work that has you walking home at six in the morning?"

The question breaks the ice between you as you fall into a natural conversation, asking questions and trading answers. Your hesitations towards the man quickly ebb the more you talk.

You learn he's a highly successful businessman but the war has halted much of his work which has given him some much needed down time. Like you, he doesn't have many living family members and he's an altruistic man so much of his money is left unspent.

Before you know it both of your meals are finished and the waitress is bringing over the check and the packaged meal for your father. Just like at the market, Jihoon pulls out his banknotes and pays before escorting you back to his car.

When you arrive at your house a part of you feels disappointed that the morning with Jihoon is over. Now it's back to the real world.

You're halfway to your door when you suddenly turn back around. You don't know what causes you to say it before you can stop yourself you spit out, "Would you like to come in for a cup of tea? It's the last I could do after all of your kindness."

Jihoon beams in front of you. "I would love that."

Bloodiest Battles of the War So Far, Conscription Soon to Follow?

Five months after you meet Jihoon he knocks on your front door, a letter clutched in his fist. There's a grim look on his face when you open the door and you know automatically.

The Battle of Bloody Ridge, follwoed by The Battle of Heartbreak Ridge, took out many of the soldiers on the frontlines and the country was now desperate to find new ones to replace them. A mandatory conscription for any young man who was eligible to join the military.

It didn't take long for you and Jihoon to start a relationship after your first few meetings. He's the perfect man, taking care of both you and your father and showering you in nothing but love and affection. The thought of him so far away, in the direct line of danger, makes a lump grow in your throat. Your chest tightens as your heart aches.

"We'll be okay," Jihoon mutters into your hair as you cry silently into his neck, holding him tightly. Like if you hold him tight enough he won't have to leave.

That's not how the world works though, and you accompany Jihoon on the day he is to deploy.

"If you need more money just send me a letter and I'll take care of it, okay?"

"You've left me with plenty already, love," you tell him as you fix his jacket collar. "Just come home safe."

"As long as you make sure I have something to come home to."

You can already feel the tears welling up in your eyes and you lean forward to press your lips to Jihoon's. He kisses you back, putting all of his love into it. A promise to you, that you will see him again, that this isn't your last kiss.

With one last squeeze of the hand Jihoon boards the bus and you're left alone, a heaviness in your heart and worry forming under your skin.

You just have to keep telling yourself he'll be okay, he has to be.

December 19, 1951

To the one my heart has gone to,

I hope you don't mind the frequency of my letters, I just feel closer to you know that eventually you'll hold the same paper in your fingers. I miss you tremendously, to the point my heart aches thinking of you.

Do you know that when you send your letters they smell of you? I always keep your most recent ones safe, in hopes to preserve the smell for just a little while longer.

There's not much to report about today, which I suppose is a good thing. Better than something hectic or even worse, a battle.

Unfortunately it still doesn't look like there will be a break anytime soon. Battle after battle, life after life. It's not easy, but I've come to like the other men in my unit. Jeonghan takes good of us and Seokmin makes nice company.

I don't want to keep you long, but I wanted to make sure you'd get a letter for before the holidays hit. Merry Christmas my love.

I'll make it up to you when I get home okay? For now just keep me in your dreams.

Write back soon, please. I want to hear what my lover has been up to. Keep me updated on your father as well.

All my love,

Your Jihoon

March 22, 1952

Today was hard.

I'm doing unwell as I write this letter, but it would pain me more not to send you my update.

Kwon Soonyoung died next to me today on the battlefield. It is not the first time a man has died near me, but it is the first time it was a man I have grown fond of. He was only a few months older than I am.

As grim as it may sound, and as much as I will mourn the loss, I am grateful that it was not me in his place. It was a difference of mere inches and fate chose Soonyoung. Does it mean anything? Is there a reason why I lived and he didn’t? I’m not sure but all I can think about is that his sacrifice is giving me a second chance at going home. Does that make me a bad person?

Everyday I pray this nightmare will be over. The thought of you is the only thing encouraging me to go on. I think about coming home to you, kissing your sweet lips, holding you in my arms.

We’ve been apart longer than we were together and I beat myself up for that everyday. I wish we would have met earlier, but as soon as the war is over we will have all the time in the world. Just you and me.

Wish me home soon,

Your Jihoon

November 30, 1952

To the home of my heart,

You have been on my mind all of today, not that you aren’t always on my mind normally. It has been particularly hard today though. It’s been a full year since my departure from you and every day has been harder than the last.

It’s hard to sleep at night and I often lay awake and think about you. Sometimes I will take a walk and look up at the sky. The moon and the stars are thousands of miles away but they still seem so close and bring so much comfort. That’s how I feel about you. Gazing at the moon also helps because it is still the same moon that you are under as well.

Look at the moon and think of me okay? Maybe one night we will be looking at the moon at the same time and I will be able to feel you just a bit closer.

Whenever I am able to fall asleep, I dream about you. I dream about the thought of you laying next to me. I wish to kiss your soft lips and feel your warm skin and look into your shining eyes. I dream of the life we will build together when we are reunited at last.

Would you marry me, my love?

I know it’s silly asking over a letter like this, and asking with such a strange courtship, but something in me feels the need to ask. Ever since I met you on the street that one fateful day, I’ve known you were the one for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so please accept my proposal (I promise to give you a proper one the second I get home).

The other men keep teasing me about you, but they just don’t understand the love we share. Being with you, even just the thought of you, it feels like home.

A part of me wonders if I’ve secretly loved you my whole life. It sure feels like it. No matter what I know you were made for me and everyday I bless whatever force brought us together. I love you so much it drives me crazy.

When I get home let me take you out on a thousand dates to make up for the time lost.

Please send me your answer soon,

Your fiance Jihoon

February 01, 1953

To my dearest,

I’m writing to you from the infirmary. I was shot in battle earlier, nowhere too fatal just the leg, but I just woke up from the procedure to remove the bullet and patch me up. I’m lucky to come out with nothing more than a scar. Some other men aren’t as lucky.

It seems everyday is a new fight, but it’s worth it if it gives me a chance of going back home to you. We’ll buy a house close to the port, so you can be near the ocean breeze. Every night we’ll walk the shore and watch the sunset together. Then on Saturdays I’ll accompany you on your errands. We’ll go to town together and get groceries and visit the cafe and do whatever your heart desires.

I’ll buy fresh flowers for your parents every week.

We could get a cat to keep you company while I’m at work and you could quit that heinous job at the factory. That would give you more time to focus on yourself. You and I both know that my wealth is more than enough for just the two of us.

Our house shouldn’t be too big, but still a good size in case we ever have guests over. I think we should start a garden as well.

Ah, my love, thinking about our future is nice. It helps me wish for the future, helps me feel closer to you. Thank you for being my safe place away from this nightmare. I should rest more now, but please remember that I will always spend everyday loving you.

Pray for my speedy recovery,

Your Jihoon

July 07, 1953

Jagiya! I apologize for the lack of letters recently, things have been so hectic around here, but I write with good news!

The talk around camp is that the negotiations have been making a move, there is finally an end in sight. I cannot wait to get back to you. It has been far too long since I’ve seen you and the photo I carry of you has started to fade already from how often I admire it.

I cannot stay to write for long, but I needed to send you an update and a reminder of my love. I promise we will be back together soon.

Go to town and buy some flowers for yourself okay? Today is worth celebrating.

I can’t wait to see you,

Your Jihoon

You’re jittery as you smooth down your shirt, waiting for the bus to pull up. The same bus that took him away nearly two years ago.

When all of your friends heard about your beau, they all called you crazy. Holding out for a man who has been gone for quadruple the amount of time you spent together and you guess maybe it is crazy, but for Jihoon you would do anything.

It is true that you two were only together for five months before his deployment, but even before he left you knew you were madly in love with Lee Jihoon. You spent your nights reading the letters Jihoon sent you, and writing ones back. You would think you two had been lovers for fifty years rather than five months.

You’ve always felt the pull towards Jihoon though, like you’ve been loving him all your life. Every letter he sent made you fall in love with him even more, and now two years later he’s finally coming home.

The days were hard without him when you saw him nearly everyday before he left. Winter of 1952 was less than kind, taking your father with it and leaving you alone for the last seven months, wishing for nothing but for Jihoon to come home. Now he is and you couldn’t be more elated.

The people standing around you start to cheer when someone catches sight of the bus, but you can’t do anything but stand there, your heart pounding in your chest. When the bus stops and soldiers start to pour out you have a moment of doubt. The fear that Jihoon won’t want you anymore, that everything has changed for the worse, creeps into your mind.

The thoughts can barely form though because then Jihoon’s stepping off the bus and his skin is so much tanner than it used to be and you’ve never seen him with his hair so short but it’s Jihoon, your Jihoon. His eyes light up when he catches sight of your familiar face and he’s dropping his bags and running towards you.

His arms are locked around your waist and you’re being lifted off the ground. You cup Jihoon’s face in your hands and lean down to kiss him as he spins you two around, easing all of the worries in your mind. Your cheeks dampen as tears start to stream down your face, too many emotions coursing through you to keep them all on the inside.

You keep your hands on Jihoon’s face as he sets you down. You stroke his cheek, feeling his warm skin under your touch. “You’re here, you’re really here.”

“I’m here my love, I’m here, and I’m never leaving you again.”

It doesn’t take much longer for you and Jihoon to leave the station. You two sit in the back of his car, pressed together as Jihoon presses kisses to your face every few minutes. You’re not much better though, leaning into him with a dopey grin on your face, ready to start your new life with the man you love the most.

The next time you see Jihoon isn’t at the antique shop at all. You’re getting coffee at the cafe next to your apartment when you see the man walk in. His eyes light up a bit when he sees you and he makes a beeline to your table after getting his drink.

“Is this seat open?” He asks, pointing to the empty chair across from you.

“Of course.”

Jihoon takes a seat before turning his attention to you. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Maybe it’s fate,” you say teasingly but Jihoon just grins.

“Maybe it is,” his voice is smooth as he talks, and your breath gets caught in your throat, “I mean, I wouldn’t be upset if I was destined to meet you over and over again.”

You break his gaze, trying not to show him how flustered you are. “You’re quite the sweet talker you know? You don’t know anything about me-”

“No, but I don’t think it would be hard to learn. I’m starting to think we’re not really strangers at all. You can’t tell me that you aren’t a bit interested in me as well.”

You glance back at Jihoon to find him staring intently at him. His eyes are warm and deep and you can feel yourself being drawn in, like you’ve stared at those eyes a million times before. There’s an inviting sense to all of Jihoon and the only thing you can think of to describe it as is home.

“Okay,” you tell him with a slight grin. “Let’s see if destiny is right.”

And really you don’t care if it is fate or not, because as you and Jihoon fall into a comfortable conversation you realize that the two of you meeting was no mistake, and that you could definitely love Lee Jihoon for multiple lifetimes.

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toxicanonymity · 1 year

Text

The Contractor. Silence can never be bought, only rented (pt. 6 of 6)

4k / dbf!Joel x f!Reader / pt 1 / master list

STORY MASTER LIST

Warnings/Notes: I8+ some angst, dry (wet?) humping, unsafe PIV SEX (!), legal age gap. Acronyms - RICO is about organized crime. barely edited.

It’s so close. It’s finally here. His hand slides under your shirt, runs over your back then pulls you closer. He feels so good, it’s like a dream. But the more you wake up, the more your thoughts creep in. You want the truth. You pry your lips away from his, and right away, he latches onto your neck. “What did my Dad want?” you ask. Between kisses, he murmurs, “don’t worry about it.”

Joel shows you his phone and your dad is at the gate. He thinks in silence for a moment.

“Well, we’re not doing anything,” you offer, but your heart is pounding. “Don’t let him in.”

“I’ve gotta let him in. What’s he gonna think if I don’t?”

He rubs his beard and opens his home automation app. “You’re in the pool house,” he decides. He turns on a dim light in the pool house.

“What does he want?” you ask.

“Hell if I know. Go through the basement.”

“No way.”

“Come on, Trouble.”

“I’m not going through the tunnel alone.”

He seems endeared by your fear. “Do it for us,” he says with a wink that makes your heart jump. Then he gets up to take the drinks to the sink.

“Wait,” you say.

He freezes.

“What were you gonna say? Now that I know . . . ?”

“Now that you know, I don’t have to worry about you finding out later and being mad.”

You kind of doubt that’s what he was going to say. “I’m mad anyway,” you say.

“Figured. It’s okay.”

A car door opens and closes.

“Go,” he whispers. “I’ll come get you when he’s gone.”

You make it to the pantry stairs just in time.

When your dad comes in, Joel says, “Welcome back.”

Your dad asks, “Where’s my girl?”

“Sleepin’ it off in the pool house, I reckon. Didn’t want her to drive.”

There’s a long pause and your heart races.

Your dad says, “Good, good. . .thanks.”

Damn, Joel is smooth. He asks your dad, “Somethin’ you didn’t wanna call about?”

“Yeah. . .”

You’re tempted to stay and hear more, but you’re also afraid of what you might hear. You creep down the stairs quietly. You think about going to the theater instead and waiting in one of those recliners. It’s silly, but you really don’t want to go underground to the pool house. The tunnel is climate controlled and has automatic lights, but it’s still spooky without windows.

You’re standing near the tunnel entrance trying to work up your nerve when you hear raised voices, and now you can’t resist. You quietly make your way back toward the stairs to listen. If no one is going to tell you what’s going on, this is your chance to find out. It occurs to you there’s no reason for you to go all the way to the pool house except that Joel doesn't want you to hear this. Otherwise, you could have hidden anywhere and your dad would be none the wiser.

A cabinet slams shut and Joel demands, “How many aren’t you tellin’ me about?”

“Not tellin’ you? I just found out! I’m not in charge, you know that.” Glasses clink with ice.

“North of the fuckin’ border again. God damnit,” Joel says. He’s even more heated than he was in the car the other day.

Your dad asks, “What do I have to do to get you all in on this? Let’s get it done and be done with it.”

“You know what I want. I want out.”

“You’ll be out.”

“I want it in writing.”

Your dad scoffs. “You want a paper trail now? When the whole point was to keep your charges off paper?”

“Not the charges, damnit.”

“Then what do you want in writing? You made some bad guys go away in exchange for evidence going away, now we’re square?”

“It was supposed to be a six month contract. Here we are, how many renewals later? And I’m still consulting.” You can picture the air quotes with the way he says it.

“Still better than 20 years for RICO,” your dad says.

“Never woulda gotten the max. . . You know what? At least the wiseguys have a code.”

Your dad sharpens his tone. “Ever wonder what happened to that evidence?”

“FUCK” A glass shatters. “I’m never gettin’ out. Just say it.”

“This is the last-”

“Don’t string me along with this one last job bullshit, then the job’s a whole fuckin’ cartel. Call it what it is. I’m an asset. Not a contractor if I don’t got a fuckin’ choice.”

“You’re gonna be out.”

“You won’t even give me your word.”

“Joel, you have my word.”

“Alright,” Joel calms down a little. “And what about you? You ever think about your daughter in all this? You want her on tiktok seein’ your head roll off one day ‘cause you couldn’t take the loss and retire?”

“Don’t talk about my daughter.”

There’s a moment of silence, then your dad continues.

“We’re on the same team, buddy. I want this over as bad as you do. C’mon, let’s look at the intel.”

You’re sick to your stomach. Whatever this is sounds like it’s about your dad’s ego. What’s new. You shrink back to the tunnel and jog through it so it’s over fast.

You’re laying on the couch in the pool house, and you don’t even want to think about what you just heard. So you’re replaying the earlier conversation in your head. The one about your stepmother and . . . gross. Something doesn’t sit right about it. You’re trying to figure out why Joel would have felt guilty for you blackmailing him into sex.

It hits you that the only reason he’d feel guilty is if it were his doing. . . If he realized you thought you had leverage and saw an opportunity. Deprive you, make you want it that bad, see if you’d try to twist his arm into it. And once you got there, game over? Was he just getting off on having the power all along? Then you ask yourself the real question. If that’s the case . . . do you wish none of it ever happened? It’s an easy no.

So you put that to rest and can’t help but think about what you overheard between Joel and your dad. You want to know how this all happened, but from the way Joel was talking about heads rolling off, you’re most worried about what he and your dad are up to right now. You want to hear it from Joel. You want to know what his real job is. The truth might be the only thing you want more than to fuck him. And if he won’t tell you the truth, maybe he doesn’t deserve the latter.

You’re exhausted from being in the sun all day. There’s a big, heavy blanket – silky, not exactly cozy. It’s like a rich guy blanket, probably put there by an interior decorator. You curl up on the oversized couch and pull it over you. There’s a bedroom, but you don’t expect this to take as long as it does, so you don’t get in bed. You stay on the couch. It feels like Joel is taking forever, but you’re too tired to even look at the time. You take off your shorts and bra, swaddle yourself in the blanket, and drift off.

You don’t hear Joel come in or take off his pants or put his stuff on the table. You feel cold for a moment when he lifts the blanket, but then he gets under it with you and takes you into his arms, and he’s warm.

You stir, and Joel whispers, “You wanna get in bed?”

You shake your head no.

“It’s right there . . .”

“No,” you manage weakly. You’re not remembering any of the drama at the moment, just enjoying being in his arms and too sleepy to move.

“Ok,” he whispers, and kisses you on the head. You fall back asleep with your head in the crook of his neck.

. . .

In the middle of the night, you wake up in his arms with one of his legs hooked over both of yours and his boxers pressed against your panties, which are soaked with arousal, you can feel it. He’s only somewhat hard, but it’s enough to make you need it, bad. He smells freshly showered but you can still catch a hint of his sweat, which makes you need it worse. Your nose brushes his beard as you look up at his face.

He blinks awake with sleepy eyes. He presses his lips into yours for a long kiss that starts light, affectionate, closed-mouth, then becomes desperate, invasive. You accept his tongue greedily. He hardens right against your crotch. His hips roll into yours, and before long, he’s rock hard, and you softly moan “mmm” into his mouth.

He whispers, “Are you on-”

“Yeah,” you cut him off. Then he covers your mouth with his lips again. Yeah, you’re on birth control, and the question makes you throb as he kisses you. It’s so close. It’s finally here. It’s grinding into you right now. His hand slides under your shirt and runs over your bare back, pulling you closer against him, and he moans softly. He feels so good, it’s like a dream.

But the more you wake up, the more your thoughts creep in. You really, really want the truth. It dawns on you this might be your best shot at getting it.

You pry your lips away from his, and right away he latches onto your neck.

“What did my Dad want?” you ask him.

Between kisses on your neck, he murmurs, “don’t worry about it.”

“Tell me what’s going on,” you demand.

He rolls his arousal into your clit and you bite your lip to suppress a moan while you wait for his answer.

“Not now, sugar. . .”

He lifts your shirt swiftly but smoothly and palms a breast, then is hard-on drags down your thigh and you feel a damp spot on his boxers. He takes your nipple into his mouth while he pulls your shirt off, and you help him, despite your reservations. You need the truth, but you’re aching. Your body needs to be filled by his.

“Not now. . . so, when?” you ask.

“When I’m back,” he sighs.

“Back from what?”

He doesn’t answer. He lightly drags his lips over the top curve of your breast, over your shoulder, up your throat, your jaw, to your ear.

His boxers find your drenched panties again and press against you in just the right place. He’s so stiff, it takes your breath away, and a soft moan falls out of your mouth. He whispers, “This is all that matters,” and you want him to be right so bad. He nibbles then sucks your neck right under your ear. He grinds his rock-hard member into you in a slow rhythm at just the right angle.

“This,” he says, looking from your eyes to your mouth and back. He wraps his arms around you, grinding into you rhythmically. He kisses you again, and his tongue erases whatever words were on yours. Blood rushes to your lips with the gentle suction of his own. With his face still on yours, he slowly, carefully takes his boxers off under the blanket.

You slide your hand down his abdomen and your breath hitches as you graze the light padding of his lower stomach. You find that small, circular scar and gently caress it. He flinches, then moves your hand to his cock. It sends a bolt of need to your aching clit, but you still have to ask.

“What’s it from?”

“C’mere,” he says, and latches onto your mouth again as he thrusts into your hand.

You want his lips on yours forever. You want nothing more than to just give in and fuck him. You push yourself up with your arm and he rolls onto his back. You shrug off the blanket. He watches you in a trance as you straddle him with his cock still in your hand. You thumb his scar again and he says, “you know I served.” Right. Of course.

His stomach rises and falls, and his head tilts slightly as he watches you nestle his naked cock at your drenched, silky underwear, right against your clit. You roll your hips into him and moan at the friction.

“Let’s lose these, sugar,” he pants. He hooks his fingers into your underwear and you lift each leg to slowly slip out of them.

You settle back in, then close your eyes, tilt your hips, and use him to pleasure yourself. You drag along his cock, from your clit to your dripping entrance and back, making his manhood shine with you, and he groans. Then you lay your hips onto his again and his hips rock against you, with his unfathomably hard cock gliding firmly against your slick.

He moans and breathes heavily. “I gotta be inside you, sugar,“ he says as he grinds into you rhythmically.

“I’ve gotta know the truth,” you reply, but it physically pains you.

He groans. “Fuck,” he pants. “What do you wanna know?”

“What you’re up to,” you say as you use your hips to massage yourself with his stiff manhood.

He takes a deep breath. “It’s complicated,” he says, and you inwardly acknowledge he’s probably right. You stop moving and start to back yourself down his thighs. You bend at the hip and hover over his cock.

“Are you still in construction?” You stroke him slowly.

“Still own the business.” He adjusts his hips under you.

“But that’s not all you do.” You bring it almost to your mouth and take a deep whiff of his musk which makes you twitch with need.

“No,” he quietly admits.

You think about how to simplify this and get it over with. You throw caution to the wind and ask, “Do you kill people?” You thumb the precum beading at his tip. No immediate answer. Then, you take his salty tip into your mouth for just a kiss and he groans. You take it out.

He sighs. “You really wanna know?” He thrusts into your hand.

You give it another kiss. “Yeah.”

You slowly crawl back up his body and lay half on him and he rolls toward you so you’re on your side like before. You hook your top leg over him. You search his eyes for an answer, but he looks down at your bodies instead. His large hand engulfs your ass cheek, caresses it with his palm, then gives it a firm squeeze and pulls you hard against him, and your wet pussy meets his stiff cock again.

“What do you think?” He asks quietly, then buries his nose in your neck and whispers, “Cause you’re prolly right.” Your heart skips a beat. You wanted more, but at the same time, it feels like he just told you everything he has to tell - or that’s what you’re trying to believe, for your body’s sake. You don’t feel anything about what he just said. All you feel is him, and that’s all you want.

He groans as he grinds into you, and his neck vein bulges. He rolls his arousal harder against your slick seam and kisses your neck. “Come on, sugar,” he says.

You open your mouth but don’t have any words, you can only breathe. He ruts against you again and you close your eyes with a moan. You’re throbbing, physically aching, swollen with need, dying to have him.

“Gotta be inside you now baby,” Joel repeats, smooth and low. He thrusts hard against your clit, slow, but so hard. His mouth devours yours, and your nipples harden against his broad chest. When his stiff member drags back down your clit, he hesitates at your entrance, then puts his hand on your ass, and the tip of his cock is caught by a tilt of your hips. Tension swells and tightens deep within you.

He begins to slowly push the firm head of his cock into your tight, wet hole and reads your face. You have to remind yourself to breathe. Your brow furrows. You bite your lip and inhale through your nose. You both adjust your hips so the angle is just right. He pushes a little more, and the stretch of his girth makes your whole body dizzy and desperate for more. He pauses and you just barely nod.

The arm under you pulls you closer with his hand flat on your back while his other hand braces on your leg that’s hooked over him. Then he pushes his stiff length into you with a grunt that becomes a loud sigh, and you gasp as his thick cock makes room for itself inside you. He pauses when he’s mostly in, and you look into each other’s eyes.

“Now fuck me,” you whisper.

“Yes ma’am,” he growls. He backs out all but the tip, then plunges into you completely. Your mouth falls open with a moan as your bodies are finally joined and he bottoms out with a shudder.

His lips latch onto yours as he retreats, then slams into you again with a grunt. He buries himself in you, slow and hard, each time somehow better than the last. Your hips roll into him, and together, you gradually up the tempo. You kiss sloppily, half your mouths breathing heavily and vocalizing against each other’s cheek. Each exhale is a moan.

His hips roll fluidly against yours and his whole body tells you how bad he’s been wanting this. Every time he fills you up, you could cry from how good it feels. He opens his mouth wide and puts it on your neck again, gently sucking your delicate skin into his mouth. He grabs hold of your ass and uses the arm under you to gently put you on your back without fully pulling out. Your legs wrap around him and he sheathes himself entirely once again.

You hook your fingers under the bottom hem of his t-shirt and pull it over his head. He takes in the view of your whole body again before he leans back down.

“You look so goddamn hot,” he says, looking down at you, thrusting into you. He looks hot, too.

The moonlight reveals a faint farmer’s tan from the barbecue. His pecs and triceps are pumped up and flexing as he moves in rhythm. His hair is messy and perfect. The silver bits of his beard glisten.

He leaves space between you and reaches down to thumb your clit, almost putting you over the edge, but you quickly take his hand and pull his body back into yours.

“About to come?” he asks. You nod and take a deep breath. He thrusts into you hard then slowly rocks his hips deep inside you with his neatly trimmed hair grinding into your clit. The tension bursts inside you and you groan his name as a massive wave of pleasure overwhelms you. Then another. You clench around him and your body jerks erratically. Your nipples go almost painfully hard and drag against him.

He pushes deeper than you thought possible, balls tightening against your ass, and you gasp and moan. Then he grunts, pulses inside you, and his whole body shudders as you milk his cock. You keep pulsing as he fills you up with his seed. Your whole body is drunk with him. When you’re both finished coming, he looks at you, and himself, then you again as he catches his breath. He strokes your face and says, “god damn.”

You almost forget you’re two different bodies until he slides out of you, leaving a void your insides try to fill. He lays on his side and takes you in his arms again.

He looks so peaceful. At the moment, you don’t care if you still don't know what’s going on. You don’t even care if he manipulated you into wanting this so desperately. All you care about is whether this is going to happen again, and you’re terrified of finding out it’s not. You start to worry about him going to do this job.

After a long silence, you say, “You don’t wanna do it, do you?”

“Do what?”

“Whatever you have to go and do.”

The peace evaporates from his face. He sighs. “No. . . No, I don’t, sugar.” He rubs his temples with the thumb and pinky of one massive hand.

“Then why do it?”

“No choice,” he says.

“That’s messed up,” you say. “I mean, not having a choice.”

“Yeah, well, it was my own dumb ass. Thought I was gettin’ outta somethin’ worse. Didn’t know what I was gettin’ into.”

“How do you get out of it now?”

“Finish the job, call it a day, see what happens.”

“Really?”

“It’s been a long time comin’.”

A couple seconds after he says it, a little smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. He doesn’t have to make the joke out loud. You playfully pinch his cheek.

“Worth the wait?” he asks with a smirk.

You shrug, and he says, “I’ll take it.” You can feel your whole face and body glowing. You don’t need to spell it out.

You get pensive thinking about why now, why tonight. “You weren’t just pissed at my dad, were you?”

He chuckles, then almost seems to panic when he sees you’re serious. “God, no, Trouble. . . “ His heart rate visibly quickens on his neck. He didn’t even have to ask you what you meant. He wraps his arms tight around you and kisses your head.

“So whatever happened to ‘not tonight’?” you ask.

“Couldn’t help it,” he says. “Neither could you.” Well, that’s true. “Plus, now I don't have to worry ‘bout you findin’ out you didn’t blackmail me. That woulda broken your sick little heart.”

“Maybe,” you say, still a little paranoid, but you push the thoughts away.

“I don’t think your dad needs to know about this,” he says. “That woulda been a sick serve though if I was mad at him,” he chuckles.

“Did you just say sick serve. . . “

“Sick serve,” he whispers in your ear.

“I don’t think that means what you– where do you pick this stuff up, anyway?”

“Prolly Jesse, he never shuts up.”

“So, Jesse’s-”

Joel puts his thumb on your lips. “Said too much already,” he says. “ You gotta keep it to yourself, okay?” You give his thumb a little bite before he takes it away.

It’s funny, you never had anything over him before, but now you kinda do. Not that you’ll do anything with it. Too dangerous.

“Yeah,” you say.

After a long silence, you ask, “What are you gonna do when it’s over?”

He sighs and adjusts his arms around you. “This right here,” he says. “If you want.”

You fall asleep in his arms again.

When you wake up, he’s gone. It’s light outside. Birds are chirping. You have a text from him that says “Stay here if you want. Back in a couple days.” You don’t stay there. It’s too creepy without him. You go back to your apartment, but you worry about him a lot and check your phone constantly. A few days later, you get off work, and when you walk out of the bookstore, he’s parked there, leaning against his truck, ankles crossed, wearing Ray Bans and a t-shirt, jeans as tight as ever, arms tucked under his massive biceps.

“Here comes trouble” he says as he pushes himself off his truck. He puts his hands on his hips and lets his pants adjust as he pops out one knee.

Your lips meet as he wraps his arms around you.

“All done?” you ask.

“Let’s celebrate,” he says. “Got that same suite on the river. Booked it for the rest of the month, so I reckon I’ll be around.”

Thank you for reading and engaging with this story for all six parts, y'all have been so awesome!

FWIW I see this as a happy ending with ominous undertones lol. I think I will come back to these two in the future (assuming there's still interest now that they've fucked). That's why I didn't blow my whole load in over explaining the subplot in this part. I initially included the sub plot so there would be an interesting basis to come back to them after the main story.

I just started another (darker) dad's best friend story: Left in Lincoln. In addition to smut it's also slow burn horror but no gore. Heed warnings. . .

Tags - This story: @jbcalway @daddy-din @angelmenace @silkiers @axshadows @legs0pen4dilfs @fan-fiction-floozy @grnherbs @icuminurbutt @lokanda @not-a-unique-snowflakewflake89 @likeanimagepassingby2 @witchy-jadda @mxtokko @missannwinchester @cannolighost @anxiousankylosaurus @montenegroisr @97cityy @lillyrob @billyloomiswhore4 @cloudroomblog @boysddontcry @blackvelveteen1339 @twsssmlmaa @call-me-doll-facee @str84pedro @ausamocee @skythighs @jasminedragon @leeeesahhh @blushynini @momia2910

All joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxiousus @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #perdo pascal #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal smut #toxicanonymity ☠️#toxicdbf #dbf!joel #pervy!joel #dbf!joel miller #joel miller/reader #joel miller/you #content label

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bibittybopittybadbxtch · 4 months

Text

Behave

Pairing: Poly!Woosan x Reader

Summary: You and Wooyoung knew exactly what you were doing. San had given both one simple instruction. Behave. That’s all he asked of you. But he should’ve known better. He knew you both better than that. There was nothing the two of you loved more than ruffling his feathers.

Warnings: SMUT BELOW THE CUT, MDNI, 18+, Petnames (Baby, Princess, etc…), Honorifics (Daddy,Sir), Slight Oral (F receiving), Dirty Talk, Spanking, Safe Word Referencing

Word Count: ~2K

A/N: Hi loves! I’ve gotten into Ateez recently. I’m a HUGE woosan shipper. I also LOVE a good MMF threesome. Thus this imagine was born. I hope you enjoy. Likes, positive Comments, Reblogs are always welcome!

XO,Bibi 🩷

P.S.

I do NOT consent to have my work posted, translated or published to any third party site or app.

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It started subtly. Wooyoung dragged you to the dance floor. Which was not unusual. He was always trying to get you to open up a little. Your boyfriend was persuasive. So when San saw him drag you to the floor, he was not concerned. He knew you would keep Wooyoung semi-calm. He wouldn’t do anything to embarrass you, it would betray your trust and make you revert into your shell. He didn’t want that. Even knowing this San kept an eye on you both. He liked having an eye on his babies at all times. Always ready to jump in if needed. He admired you both from a distance. Your arms hung around Wooyoung’s neck as you danced to the beat.

The club was full of various celebrities. He had looked away for no more than a second when loud whooping caught his attention. He turned back to the dance floor to find you and Woo again. As his eyes scan the crowd, he catches your eye. The glint in your eyes is a familiar one, but it’s foreign to your face. It’s the look Wooyoung gets when he’s about to stir up trouble. Usually, the only time you acted out was with a little misguidance from Wooyoung. Typically you were his perfect girl. San watches you for a second more before moving his eyes to Woo’s face. Wooyoung’s expression is devious. Then San realizes what song was playing. It was your favorite. The three of you listened to it in the house frequently. Grinding on each other, hands everywhere. It was something he never thought he’d see you do in public, and he was perfectly okay with that. San watches as you dance seductively to the song. You’ve turned around dancing on Wooyoung. Your hands are wrapped around the back of his neck, with your fingers running through the hair at the nape of his neck. Suddenly you let go of Wooyoung’s neck. This puts San in motion. He knows what you’re about to do. He sees you bend over and start grinding against Wooyoung’s hardening dick. Wooyoung is smirking at him as he grabs your hips and gently starts grinding with you.

San will reach you soon after. He can’t make a scene, the club is packed. Someone would say something. He moves behind Wooyoung and whispers in his ear. “Step back or you won’t cum for a month.” Woo moves in the blink of an eye. He stands back and watches San approach you. You barely notice them switching places, but when you feel San’s familiar hands you move to stand up straight. Even when you were being a brat, you were still his good girl. He leans down to whisper in your ear, “Baby, I can’t believe you let Wooyoungie talk you into trouble.” You whip your head around to protest. He cuts you off before you can open your mouth. “Nope. Outside. Both of you. Now.” You know you’re in trouble.

The car ride home is silent. There’s music playing on the radio but you can’t focus on that. You wanna know what San is going to do to you and Wooyoung? You look over at Wooyoung who is sitting next to you. He doesn’t look the least bit sorry. He’s smirking out the window to himself. You look over at San, he’s on his phone. He looks up when he feels your eyes and winks at you. Which doesn’t ease your nerves. You know you’re in for a long night. When the car comes to a stop San steps out first and helps you out, while Wooyoung gets out on the other side. The three of you walk into the house after San unlocks the door. You stand in the mud room removing your shoes when San speaks. “I want both of you to strip completely, and wait for me on the bed.” After removing your shoes, you begin to head towards the main door of the house. “Where are you going” San asks with a tilt of his head. “Um…to the room?” you ask him confused, behind you Wooyoung snickers. You turn around to look at him, he’s already taken off his shirt. Then it dawns on you. San wants you to strip here, and then walk through the house naked. You turn back to him shocked. He chuckles at the look on your face, “Go on Baby, get naked for me.” He leans against the door frame and folds his arms, looking at you expectantly. “Here let me help.” you hear Woo offer. You feel his hands on your back before you feel the zipper come undone. Your dress falls to the floor and you turn to thank him. Turning back around you look San in the eye. “Sannie, please. I’m shy.” His face doesn’t change. “It’s just me and Wooyoungie, Baby. There’s nothing to be shy about. Be a good girl for me, huh?” He reassures you. You want to please him, especially after the stunt you pulled. So you remove your underwear garments. You and Wooyoung walk past San and head upstairs. He watches you both before heading into the kitchen.

Upstairs you and Wooyoung are sitting on the bed waiting for San. “Calm down. He’s never done anything we didn’t like and he’d never actually hurt us.” Woo says from beside you. You glance in his direction. “Shut up, because you said we wouldn’t get in trouble.” You see his eyes darken and you know you’ve made a mistake. Even though you both were submissive in regard to San, Wooyoung was still a switch. When it was just the two of you together Woo took control, he was your Daddy. Wooyoung grips your chin and forces you to look into his eyes. “Hey. Watch it, I said we wouldn’t get in trouble for dancing a little sexy. No one told you to bend over and grind your ass into my dick. That was all you Princess.” He’s right. You don’t know where the sudden boost of brattiness came from. You look up at him through your lashes and apologize. “Sorry, Daddy.” He kisses you swiftly on the lips before releasing you. You can hear shuffling around in the kitchen before he begins to climb the stairs.

San walks into the room and smiles at the two of you. He kisses you both on the forehead before stepping back and leaning against the dresser. “Whose idea was it?” he asks simply. Wooyoung quickly glances at you before slowly beginning to raise his hand. But you beat him to it, “It was me! Wooyoungie said we could dance. But the song took over my body.” Wooyoung can’t help but laugh at your sincerity. San cuts his eyes over to him and Wooyoung closes his mouth immediately. San looks back at you. “Baby I’m so surprised at you. I asked you to behave.” He has a mischievous look in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Sir.” He nods silently at you. “Wooyoungie, come stand over here.” Woo gets up, as he and San switch places. San sits next to you before patting his lap, “Come here, Baby.” You stand up to sit on his lap, but he stops you. “No. Lay over my knee.” A spanking. You had never gotten one from San. Wooyoung had given you a few, you tended to act out more with him. But Sannie had never spanked you before. Hesitantly you descend over his knee. “I’m gonna give you ten spanks, but first I need to know that you understand why this is happening. I also need to know that this is okay.” With your head down you begin to speak. “I’m in trouble for taking it too far on the dance floor. I was taunting you on purpose. My color is green, Sir.”

You made it through your spanking with minimal tears. When San lets you up, he wipes your tears before addressing you. “You did so well from me, girl.” You smile shyly before nodding. He continues talking, “I think Wooyoungie enjoyed watching you get your punishment, isn’t that right my love?” You turn to see Wooyoung looking at you with lust-filled eyes, his hand is slowly stroking his hardened cock. He blinks a few times before responding, “Yes, Sir.” San chuckles at his boyfriend, “Well, now it’s your turn to be punished.” Wooyoung looks surprised by this statement. San smirks at him. “You didn’t think you’d get off easy, did you? I know it was initially your idea, and you could’ve stopped her. Hands behind your back.” San moves you to straddle his lap before whispering in your ear, “Let’s give your Daddy a show.” He pulls you in and kisses you deeply. He slips his tongue in your mouth, you moan and you hear Woo whimper behind you. San pulls away and looks over your shoulder. “Where did I tell you to put your hands?” You turn your head to see Wooyoung playing with his leaking member. “Since you can’t seem to listen tonight let me help you.” San moves you off his lap and to the bed. He instructs you to lie back before he approaches Wooyoung. He reaches the drawer beside the smaller man’s form. He bites his ear before pulling out a silk scarf. “This will help you be still and resist temptation.” Wooyoung makes a sound of protest as San ties his wrists behind his back.

You watch the scene unfold and it makes you wet. Wooyoung is always so dominant with you. Watching him be so submissive with San turned you on. San takes Wooyoung’s chin in his hands and gives him a sloppy kiss before returning to you. He approaches you like a lion on the prowl. He climbs on top of you and resumes where he left off. Kisses your lips before moving to your neck. you can feel him leaving a hickey before he pulls back to pull off his clothes. He begins to kiss down your body, before finding the juncture between your thighs soaking wet.

He swipes a finger through your folds and brings it to his lips. He moans as he sticks his fingers in his mouth tasting you. “Baby you taste so good.” He turns around at the sound of Wooyoung whimpering loudly. “Hush. Be a good boy, you’ll get what you want. Just take your punishment and watch. Be patient” The younger boy lets out a small huff before putting his head down. San turns back around before reaching over to the nightstand and pulling out a bottle of lube. He spreads the liquid over his dick, before positioning himself at your entrance. “Are you ready, Baby?” he addresses you with a smile. “Yes, Sir,” you answer and moan as he pushes himself in completely. San fucks you like he’s waited his whole life to do so. Not too rough, Not too slow. Absolutely perfect. His just barely fits. He’s thicker than Wooyoung is. But their length is about the same. The tip brushes your g-spot with every stroke. The three of you create a beautiful symphony with your moans. You can see over San’s shoulder that Wooyoung has his thighs pressed together trying to create some relief for himself. His tip is red and leaking precum. “Sir, I’m about to cum. Please, let me cum” you beg San. “That’s it Baby, cum for me.” He slams into you and you feel yourself release with him inside. The pressure from your relief triggers San’s. You feel him paint your insides with hot ropes of cum. He slumps against your shoulder. He catches his breath before biting your shoulder and pulling back. He smirks at you before asking “You think it’s time for Wooyoungie to join us?” You look over at Wooyoung and smile. “Yes, please.”

THE END.

#woosan #ateez #ateez fic #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez san #ateez smut #ateez wooyoung #ateez woosan #wooyoung #woosan x reader #atiny #ateez atiny

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sinofwriting · 8 months

Text

Made For Each Other - Max Verstappen

Words: 3,486 Summary: Max never put much stock into love at first sight until meeting her. Note(s)/Warning(s): Near Physical Cheating, Some Emotional Cheating (on Kelly not reader). So this is the toxic!max fic I mentioned and uh yeah this isn’t super like toxic but it’s something. Also, I will not apologize for inserting found family into this fic.

Taglist | Masterlist | Patreon

“What?” Max presses his lips together, jaw twitching and he’s happy that P isn’t here, but with Daniil’s parents. “Things haven’t been good for us in awhile.” Maybe ever. He thinks and nearly winces, because they had been good in the beginning. But things had changed halfway through the 2021 season and it had only gotten worse as the weeks and months went on. “Kelly, it is unfair to you for me to pretend that I want to be with you anymore.” He nearly says that once the season was over he was already planning on breaking up with her, but manages to hold his tongue. She’s looking at him in that way that he hates, that’s caused arguments because it reminds him of his father. “What do you want me to tell P?” He can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes him at her easy acceptance. “Tell her that I will always love her and that if she ever wants to talk to me, she can call and I’ll do my best to answer.” “Okay.” Her voice is quiet and she looks around his apartment. “There shouldn’t be much here, but what you do find, have it shipped to me.” “Of course.”

He watches as Kelly walks towards the front door and maybe he shouldn’t say anything, doesn’t want to give her false hope, but he can’t help it. “Kelly.” She stops, her hand on the door knob ready to turn it. “Thank you for the past few years and all your support.” He sees her shoulders move as she sighs. “Your welcome, Max.” And then she turns the handle and walks out of his apartment.

He watches the door for a moment, feeling like if he looks away, suddenly she’ll be back. But the handle doesn’t turn and he’s spinning around to move to the couch where he had thrown his phone when Kelly had unexpectedly come here.

His thumb quickly moves across the screen, opening his last text message thread and sending a simple text.

I broke up with her.

It stares up at him and three dots appear along with those little check marks and he can’t help but smile. And god if the media could see him now, smiling after just breaking up with his girlfriend of so long, they’d use this as some sort of proof that he is the devil.

And now what?

His smile grows and his thumb moves again.

And now I come to you.

—

“You know, I thought you athletes had to train. Keep fit for the season.” She teases as he watches her move around her small kitchen. “I’ve barely been here a day and you’re kicking me out?” She shakes her head at him. “No it’s just I know that China got canceled, but you do have another race soon.” He shrugs, “It’s at the very end of the month. Besides, there's a gym close by. I can go there.” “And did you tell your trainer that you wouldn’t be home so he shouldn’t drop off any food or expect you?” His eyes widened. “Fuck.” He curses, scrambling out of the kitchen and to the bedroom where his phone is, her laughter ringing in his ears.

Calling Brad, he hears the phone ring three times before his trainer picks up. “Hello,” “Hey Brad, uh I’m not home right now. I mean, I’m not in the uh country.” “Did they call you for some testing?” “Uh no. I’m not there either. Just took a bit of a break, so don’t worry about meals or anything.” There’s a bit of silence before Brad speaks again. “Max, is everything alright?” “Yeah, yes. Everything is fine. I just needed a bit of a break. I’ll see you in Milton on the twenty-first, yeah?” “Sure.” “Great.” And Max hangs up the call, feeling a bit like a hurricane.

“You’ve made me go crazy.” He tells her when he sees her standing in the door of the bedroom, raising an arm when she doesn’t move. She immediately moves into his space, wrapping her arms around his waist, as his arm wraps around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Have I?” “Yes. Meeting you has made me crazy.” “Do you regret it?” “No.” The answer is swift and firm, because no he could never regret it.

So much had changed since he had seen her for the first time just barely two weeks ago. Most of those changes happened in the past forty-eight hours. But he liked those changes.

He liked how he felt ever since she first looked at him, shook his hand, said his name. Liked how she made him smile and laugh. Maybe it was fucked but he liked how in Austrailia when he won and he nearly kissed her at the afterparty, she had to press her hand on his chest and hold him back. Remind him that he had a girlfriend. Had to stop him from pulling out his phone to call her and break up with her right then and there. Liked that despite that, she had taken his unlocked phone, added her number and told him to text her. Pressed her lips to his cheek and let the scent of her bury itself in his brain. He liked that when he first texted her asking when he could see her again, she hadn’t asked who, just told him they could talk when he was single. Liked that barely a day later he had texted her telling her he was and now he was here, with her, in her home.

Max loved however, her. The way she kissed him when he showed up at her doorstep. The then slight shyness she had over her giving him her number and her text, though there was no guilt or apology to be found in her words. Just more disbelief that she had done so. How she smelled, her house smelled. The way she sat, how her fingers brushed over his skin. How passionate she was about her job, about the music she listened to, and the candle that sat beside her bathtub.

And so it comes out. “I love you.”

He shouldn’t be saying it. People would and will call him crazy for it, but he knows himself. He knows what he’s feeling. And he loves her. Loves this woman that he hasn’t even known for a month. And fuck, people like to talk about how love at first sight doesn’t exist and you don’t know when someone is the one immediately or so soon after meeting them, but that isn’t true. There are outliers. He’s got a cousin that married her husband barely a year after dating him and they are happier than any couple he’s ever seen. One of the guys he grew up karting with met his girlfriend and a month later they were moving in together. He thinks they have three kids or maybe it’s four now.

And she, she feels like he was made for her and only her.

“I love you too.” The words aren’t whispered, no shame or doubt on them. Just certainty and he doesn’t know that she’s thinking the same thing. That she was made just for him.

—

She doesn’t come to the next race no matter how much he begs. Even when he’s about to run late for his flight back to the factory, head buried her neck as he pleads with her to come. But she only laughs, brushing her fingers through his hair.

“You just barely made a statement about no longer being with Kelly.” And he kind of hates that there’s no distaste in her voice about him having a girlfriend when they met. He knows that if she had been seeing someone his blood would be boiling everytime his name got brought up or even hinted at. “Give it a bit to settle.” He straightens with a bit of frown, “I won’t hide you.” She laughs, eyes lighting up and it makes him smile. “I’m not asking you too. Just for patience. I don’t want your PR team to end up hating me.” “Miami, then?” She shakes her head, pushing him away. “You have a plane to catch, Max.” “Imola?” He asks, backing up. Eyes widening a bit when she shakes her head again. “Monaco?” “Max!” And she’s laughing again. “Spain?” And this time she nods her head and he groans, picking up his duffel bag that’s been sitting by the door for probably thirty minutes now. “That is so fair away. You will make me wait that long?” “Oh, poor baby. Having to wait just a little over a month.” He pokes his bottom lip out, unashamed to pout. Because yes, not having her with him for the next four races sounded like torture. He had only gotten a taste of what her support was like in Australia. He wanted all of it now.

She must see that on his face because her smile turns fond, no more teasing and she’s capturing his lips in a quick kiss. “It will go by faster than you think, Max. And it gives me enough time to get everything situated so I can really be comfortable working from anywhere in the world.” “So, you’ll join me for the rest of the season?” “Yes.” He grins, pressing their lips together once, then twice. “If it does not go by fast like you say,” She stops him before he can continue. “Go, Max, it will. And I’m always a call away.”

—

The press eagerly awaits Max’s arrival in Baku. Hoping to see the two time world champion, downtrodden, miserable, regretful. Instead they get an even better story. He arrives at the track on the phone laughing, smile wide and body relaxed. It wasn’t the image of a man who had just separated from his girlfriend of a few years. It was the image of a man happier than he ever had been before.

They all want to ask questions, want to ask who he’s talking to, what or who perhaps has him smiling. Why did he and Kelly break up? Did he break up with her? Did she with him? But none of them are willing to risk the odd relationship that Red Bull has with the press, kind even generous until you cross the line.

—

“No more races without you.” He murmurs when she arrives at his hotel in Spain, his breath causing goosebumps to appear on her neck. “No more.” She agrees, before pulling slightly away, just so they can look at each other. “Hi.” She greets. He smiles at her. “Hi.” “Congrats on Monaco.” He huffs, but something warm fills him with her words. “You said that on the phone.” “That was on the phone.” She teases, before lifting her arms to loop them around his neck. “Proud of you, Max.” He doesn’t know how to respond to that, to how sincere her words are, so he presses their lips together.

“I love you.” She breathes when they break apart, panting slightly with shiny and swollen lips. “I love you too.”

—

The camera's shuttering intensifies as soon as Max’s car that he was given for the race weekend arrives at the track on Saturday. And it only gets worse when instead of just locking the car and starting his walk to the red bull garage, he rounds to the other side, opening the passenger door and helping a woman get out.

This woman is not one that any of them recognize. She is not Max’s mother or sister. She is not Kelly or some sort of model, super, instagram, or swimsuit. And even better they don’t recognize this Max. Who as soon as she is out of the car, purse in hands, shuts the door for her, which is fairly typical for him. But what is not is the way he presses his lips to hers for a quick kiss, before snaking an arm around her waist, a sort of love sick smile on his face as they begin the walk.

“I can’t believe you wanted me to come to one of these things earlier.” She murmurs to him, giving a wave to all the cameras. If she was going to do this, be with Max, she’d have to get used to them and quickly. “I still wish you had.” He murmurs back, squeezing her waist and turning his head to press his nose quickly to the top of her head. “Did you tell anyone about me or that I was coming?” She asks, though she already has a feeling what the answer is as they move further into the paddock and sees some of the drivers do double takes. He smirks, “now why would I do that?” She shakes her head, “your PR team is going to kill you and I’m going to watch.” Her eyes then catch on a slightly familiar man who’s looking at Max with murder in his eyes and she amends her statement. “Daniel is going to kill you and I’m going to watch.” Max pales slightly as he takes a look at the man she only knows from his stories and a few brief clips she’s seen on youtube.

As soon as they enter Red Bull’s hospitality for the weekend, Daniel pounces. Dragging Max and her since Max refuses to let go of her, to Max’s drivers room.

When the door closes, Daniel shoves Max though she expects more gently than he normally would due to her and stands in front of the door, hands on his hips, anger and disappointment warring on his face.

“Max.” “Daniel.” He replies, though it's a bit meek and she can’t help but give his hand a quick squeeze before letting go and stepping away. Not returning to his side despite the offended and hurt look he gives her. She shakes her head. “I told you that you could tell people.”

Daniel turns to look at her, giving her a quick grin. “I like you.” He declares before turning back to Max, grin gone.

“Seriously Max. First there was Kelly and you breaking up, which I found out through social media and you still haven’t told me how that whole thing went down.” She winces at the exasperation in Daniel’s voice. She knew from Max how close they were, considering themselves brothers just about and she couldn’t imagine how Daniel felt learning about Max’s breakup from social media and not the man himself.

“And now this!” He waves his hands around between her and Max. “I’m sure you're great.” He tells her quickly and she gives him a sheepish smile. “I mean really Max. What gives?” Max stares at the older man, unsure of what exactly to say to him.

It wasn’t like he didn’t think the people he was closest to weren’t going to have a reaction to the news of his breakup and now new relationship. It’s just that besides Daniel none of them had really reached out wanting to know what happened because they were all right with not knowing. They knew that if Max wanted to talk about it with them, he would. But Daniel was different.

He talked to Daniel about everything. A side effect of the older man having to deal with him as a teammate for those few years when he was so young and trying to really figure himself out. They had developed a different kind of relationship. One where he knew that he could go to Daniel with anything and everything and receive no judgment, only support. Daniel to him was a weird cross of a friend, brother, and father.

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes and his hands tighten into fists a little. Always unsure of himself when apologizing. “I should have called. Told you, explained what happened.” He hesitates, but knows that Daniel deserves the truth. “I nearly did.” And wasn’t that the truth. There were many times he nearly called or texted Daniel to tell him about the stunning girl he saw, then met, then nearly kissed, then got together with. But he hadn’t. He knew if he told Daniel, he’d end up telling everyone. Daniel stares at him, face giving away nothing, making him fidget, before he sighs and gives Max a smile. “It’s all good mate. You’re a bit of a cunt. But,” he shrugs, grinning. “You’ve always been like that.” Max lets out a laugh, relaxing at the familiar energy of Daniel. “Yeah, just a bit.”

He turns to look at his girlfriend, who's looking between the two of them with a smile, beckoning her back to his side. Enjoying how she easily fits into his side. “Daniel, this is my girlfriend,” and he knows his voice is lovesick when he says her name with the way Daniel looks at him. “Darling, Daniel.” “It’s nice to meet you, Daniel. Max talks about you a lot.” Daniel’s eyes flicker to Max, expecting some sort of an embarrassment or denial, but the younger man just nods. And that’s good enough for Daniel, who immediately grins at her before pulling her into a hug. “Nice to meet you as well. Max treating you well? I taught him everything he knows.” He tells her with a wink when he releases her. She lets out a small giggle at his words, but nods. “Very well. And thank you for your services.” She winks, making Daniel laugh.

“Oh, you are amazing. Now, tell me how this happened and what happened with Kelly.” He says gesturing between the two of them, sitting on the folding chair in the room, while they sit on the couch. “They are very much connected.” She laughs, before patting Max on the arm and sitting back fully.

“Oh, no.” Max groans, running a hand over his face. Daniel was going to have a fucking laugh. “So, we met a little before the Australian Grand Prix. Nearly had an incident there.” He tilts his head towards her and Daniel nods, understanding what he’s saying. “I actually nearly broke it off there. She managed to stop me however. But when I got home to Monaco, I broke up with Kelly then and there. Was already planning on doing it at the end of the season.” Daniel nods. “You mentioned that before.” “Yeah.” Max sighs, before telling him the rest.

Daniel stares at him for a moment after he's done before shaking his head, with a sort of breathless laugh. “Only you, Max. Only you. I’m happy for you though.” Max smiles at the older man’s easy acceptance. “Thank you.” “PR’s going to kill you for not giving them any warning.” He rolls his eyes, she had been telling him the same thing. “They won’t do anything. Besides, didn't they want me to be more personable?” “Don’t think this is what they meant or had in mind.” She tells him. “Probably hoping you’d vlog. Do what Charles and Lando do.” His nose wrinkles at the idea, making her and Daniel laugh.

—

“You’re good for him.” Daniel murmurs as they watch qualifying. She turns her head a little, still keeping most of her focus on the track. “Think so?” ��Know so.” He corrects, taking a moment to flash her a smile. “Max and Kelly,” he sighs. “They had a lot of issues.” She says for him. “Wanted different things or the same things but not at the same time.” “Yeah,” the older man breathes, feeling at ease with how much she knows. “She made him happy at first ya know? But you,” he pauses to shake his head. “You make him into the person I think he would’ve been without Jos. Relaxed, at ease, happy.” His voice is a little quieter with the last word and she has to blink so she doesn’t start to cry. “I want him to be happy. And I know we fell into this fast, but Max.” She sighs, feeling a smile stretch across her lips as her heart flutters in her chest all at his name, at the thought of him. “I was made for him.” Daniel chuckles, taking in the infatuated, lovesick, expression on her face. It was the same look he had seen earlier on Max. It was nice to see that it really did go both ways. “There might be some fuss around it, but it’ll die down eventually.” He hesitates not wanting his next words to seem to much, but thinks fuck it. They went to the extremes here, and she’d have to get used to it fast with Max, if she wasn’t already. “I’ll message a few drivers that I know will support you and Max. We’ll have your guys back with the media or anyone else.” His support and approval make her reach out, squeezing his forearm for a few seconds. “Thank you, Daniel. It means the world to me.”

---

Tagging: @lapb @gemofthenight @peachiicherries

#max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #my brainrot for max is so bad #i had to finish this one because last night i came up with another idea for him #he has a hold on me

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most-tragic-character-tournament · 4 months

Text

So,

What a wild ride, everybody.

This tournament went live on July 13th, 3023, and concluded January 1st, 2024. For a long time before, I’d been wondering if I should try my hand at running one of these tournaments, and then I realized we hadn’t had a general tumblr-wide one for tragic characters. I knew that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into, but I decided to bite the bullet and take the URL. The rest is history.

I didn’t have a set plan, but I figured I could take 128 entries. And then in less than a week and a half, I had ~122. And honestly, I wasn’t happy continuing with just those I’d gotten so far, and thought it’d be unfair if it closed that quickly without warning, so I decided to up it to 256 with a max 2 characters per canon after preliminaries. Only after that did I go on a mad search to find brackets that were big enough for that, and I’d almost given up before I finally found these:

Those are all the characters that made it past prelims and into the competition. Some quite unexpected results came out of these matchups, round after round, and honestly I’d consider the first round to have had the most brutal competitions, because I had tried to do the best I could to match levels of popularity with each other, as far as I could tell. (Yeah, that’s why we had c!Tommy v Jon Sims and Primrose v Jinx.). But even eclipsing all of those, as the weeks went on, we were eventually met with Antigone versus Lloyd Garmadon. Ah, those crazy kids.

At some points it was stressful, in the early rounds when I had dozens of posts, each with edited images and alt text, to prepare for every round, but I never regretted starting this. As of posting, this blog has 2,020 followers and has made over 1,000 posts. This will be the last post on this blog—any future asks I receive I will answer privately back to the asker, or cannot be answered if they are anon—but it will always remain here for posterity. The link below is to the similarly-preserved google sheet compiling every word of every submission this tournament ever received.

I’d like to take this chance to say thank you to everyone who submitted characters, supplied photos, sent in propaganda, reblogged the polls, indoctrinated their teachers into greeklitsweep, and everyone who kept good sportsmanship when their blorbos proved so tragic they couldn’t even win. Thank you to the small group of URLs whom I’ve consistently recognized in my inbox from submissions all the way to finals, thank you for letting me know when a name was messed up, and thank you for your patience in-between rounds. (Shoutout to @elemom as well for having their tiktok on the original antigone/lloyd poll blow up.)

If you’ve stumbled upon this blog weeks, months, or even years after this was posted, I would direct your attention to the tag map in the pinned post to sift through the tumblr history you’ve just uncovered. And I would also be tempted to point at the big sign next to it reciting the nuclear zone warning poem. Lastly, if anyone here or there wishes to talk to me about anything regarding the tournament, you’re welcome to DM @twilight-skies.

There were times when I said to myself this was a one-and-done thing—I was NOT dealing with this again, but….keep a look on the horizon, ya never know.

But until next time, it’s been amazing.

Sayonara you weeaboo shits.

#most tragic character tournament #most tragic tournament #tumblr polls #polls #important #gifs

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an-idyllic-novelist · 3 months

Text

Angel Dust with Violet Evergarden!reader platonic fluff scenario

Warnings: spoilers up to episode 4, possible triggers. If you do not feel comfortable venturing any further, please leave now and read something much more pleasant.

For everyone else, welcome to this small piece of fluffy goodness! You guys might know me from my other blog, @forbidden-sunlight . You have sent me your ideas for future Violet Evergarden!reader scenarios for Hazbin Hotel, and here is one of them! :)

Sit back, relax, and let us dive into a chaotic afterlife, where even a bit of reprieve from dishonesty and hypocrisy isn’t possible…until now.

Angel Dust's first impression of you is the following: a cute weirdo who dressed like a doll and didn’t smile much. What was even more tragic is that you actually believed there is a chance for sinners to be redeemed, and that the only to do that is complete Charlie’s half-assed rehabilitation program. You still do, even your progress hasn’t gotten you one step closer to Heaven’s pearly gates and the next Extermination is in six months. Five months actually, but who's counting?

That was around the time when he had to go back to work. He didn’t want to, but he knew if he didn’t…well, he didn’t want to think about it. Valentino is a psychopathic freak. He promised to make him, Angel, a big star in Hell’s entertainment industry, and instead fucked him over six ways from Sunday with false promises.

Long hours, shitty pay. No time to even take a nap in his dressing room because of course Big Daddy Val had his favorite toy’s schedule booked until he couldn't walk anymore and needed a stiff drink. When his afterlife seemed to take a nosedive for worse, and after Husk knocked some sense into him, he started finding letters under his door.

At first glance Angel could tell that they weren’t from his fans. No one’s gonna go out of their way and buy expensive paper to type it on, shove in an envelope, and put a wax seal on it just to praise him for his acting skills and share their wildest fantasies starring yours truly. No. This was….someone else.

He honestly didn't know how to describe the context of these letters because he had never received something like this from anyone who did not expect anything from him in PS or PPS. The sender would write either a short or long letter. The short letter was about half a page long; the sender would ask how he was feeling and ask him one question. What was his favorite food? What is the color he would never wear? The sender included a little about themselves too, as if to encourage him to respond. The longer ones started the same, with a greeting and almost the same stuff written in the shorter ones, but they shared how their day went with him, even the stupid, mundane shit they do every day as a part-time clerk at an antique shop and when they come home. The longer ones were at least two pages long. Some stuff made him roll his eyes, made him laugh…but it was the closing sentences, even as they vary from letter to letter, always jerked his heart in a way which made him both sad and happy at the same time.

I’m happy I’ve met you.

Thank you for being here.

Good night and have pleasant dreams.

You are stronger than you think, Angel.

I hope I can receive a letter from you someday.

You made a lot of progress today in Charlie’s exercises. I’m proud of you.

You’re doing great.

Angel might be a bit of a dummy….but he could tell right away who had been sending him the letters. The bit about Charlie’s exercises…there were only a few people attending that day. Vaggie, Sir Wet Noodles, and you. Vaggie wouldn’t write this kind of shit, and definitely not the wannabe overlord. You. You’ve helped him get through it with these letters and you never expected him to reply back. It’s as if you just wanted your words to reach him through Val’s sickly red smoke and hold his hand in your gloved one.

Naturally…the best way he can say thanks…for caring about him in your roundabout way…is to write a letter back. Maybe have a drink at Husk’s bar and talk about shitty coworkers or why Smiles never stops smiling? He’s not sure, but he’ll figure it out somehow. Sex isn’t the only thing he’s good at. And he’d like to get to know you a little more too.

Taglist

@angelltheninth

@tired-of-life-86

@nixie-writes

@frompeach

@riddle-simp

@likesugarandcyanide

@witch-of-the-writing-desk

@22carolina08

@angel-tsugikuni-kamukura

@justamegafan

@saltyfruitbat

@lanxianschoenheit

@trecllllllll

@vikkirosko

@imperfectbloodmoon

@theunknowntravel3r

@thatstonedwriter

@isuckatwritingsobenice

@chroniccorvus

@food-theorys-blog

@doc-tooth

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel angel dust #an idyllic novelist #violet evergarden!reader #violet evergarden #character!reader #fluff #hazbin hotel fluff #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel episode 4

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promise-you-doie · 5 months

Note

i’m in love with the antinitonny, can you do long anton fic? 🥺

Memories | L. Anton

Summary: it's the last summer before you start college and you and you plan to make the most of it. Word count: 15k Pairing: Anton x Reader Genre: friends to lovers. Fluff. Angst. Suggestive. Warnings: mentions of sex, mentions of drugs and alcohol. maybe some cuss words, slow burn. (like extremely slow)

Youth. The stage of life where you're bound to make mistakes, and memories. You meet the people you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with, and learn valuable lessons to teach when you’re old and bound to a rocking chair.

Adults always tell you to enjoy your youth and for once you actually plan on listening to them.

“Eunseoks here.” you run down the stairs after seeing his car pull into the driveway from the window of your room. “He’s here.” you yell once again heading towards the kitchen where your mom is.

Before you could yell again, He and sungchan walk through the door pulling suitcases behind them. You quickly open the fridge and pretend as if you’re completely unaware of their presence.

“Are those my boys?” your mom asks while walking into the living room to greet them, welcoming them both with a nice warm hug. “Your sister is waiting for you in the kitchen.” you hear her say while eavesdropping on their conversation

“Doesn’t my little sister miss me?” He slightly yells as he walks into the kitchen where you are. It’s been almost 5 months since you last saw your older brother, so yes of course you miss him. Even if he was annoying and unfun to be around.

“Oh hey Eunseok, I didn’t know you were here.” You speak nonchalantly. “Really? I saw you peeking from the upstairs window.” He exposes you

“Uh…” You stumble to find anything to say.

“I see you still haven’t changed.” He laughs.

“Why would I change? It's only been five months.” You question while peeling the orange you pulled out of the fridge. “What have you been up to?” he asks as he takes the orange out of your hand to peel for you, because you had a habit of biting your nails so you could never tear the skin to even begin to strip the orange.

“Nothing really, I’ve just been worrying about starting college.” You sigh. “There’s nothing to worry about, You’re smart you’ll be fine. Just remember like I said, don’t fall-” “Fall into the wrong crowd and stay away from drugs.” You finish.

“See you got it.” He congratulates you by handing you back the now naked orange. Eunseok being your older brother, you always received life talks from him, even if you didn’t know what he was talking about. He took his role very seriously even though he was only 3 years older than you.

“Y/n, How are you?” Sungchan walks in thankfully to redirect the conversation from turning into another unwanted life lesson.

“Sungchan!” you gleam as you head over to him for a small hug. He was as much your friend as he was Eunseoks, the three of you grew up closely together so you could basically just consider him your other brother. “How come I don’t see your boyfriend running around here?” he asks suddenly.

“We aren’t dating, and I don’t know. I guess he’s busy today.” You shrug your shoulders. As if on cue you hear the doorbell ring and instinctively you know exactly who it is. “Y/N Anton is here.” You hear your mom yell from the living room. You find no use for either of the men in the kitchen anymore as you hurry towards the door to see your best friend of 6 years.

“Hey?” You greet him happily. “Is he here? Well I'm guessing he is. I see his car.” He says shyly

“Just come in dummy.” You roll your eyes and back up from the door so he can fully walk in. He slips his shoes off before he follows you to the kitchen. “Oh there he is.” eunseoks laughs deeply when he addresses Anton. “Hey, you’ve gotten taller?” Sungchan asks while inspecting him. “No.” Anton says, shaking his head. “Are you sure, I don’t remember you being taller than me?” Sungchan adds measuring himself against him.

“You ask this question every time you see him.” you laugh at sungchan, “That’s because he gets taller every time.” Sungchan argues back.

“Shouldn’t you know if he’s gotten taller? He’s your boyfriend.” he teases.

“We’re not dating,” You whine, but it’s not really convincing anyone.

“Yet.” He adds.

“Alright you two.” Eunseok jumps in before you could throw anything at him, like you always do whenever you start arguing with him. “Eunseok, do you know you’re the best brother in the world.” You smile sweetly at him, buttering him up with your fluttering eyelashes.

“What do you want?”

“The keys to your car.” You say without any spaces, still fluttering your eyelashes and holding your hands together. “Pretty pretty please.” You add hoping to persuade him. And you know you’ve done it because he rolls his eyes and pulls the keys out of pocket to dangle them on top of your palms that you have held out for him.

“No-”

“Texting and driving, yes I know.” You say before he tries and sneak in yet another unsolicited life lesson. “And-” “call you if anything happens.” You say in monotone looking off to the side. “Hmm, Maybe I shouldn’t give them to you.” he begins but you stop him to beg. “No please please, I’ll call you if anything happens and I’ll keep my eyes on the road, I won’t even blink.” You plead.

“Woah, but if you don’t blink your eyes will get dry and then yo-” “Shut up idiot.” You slap his arm and turn back to eunseok. “I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“FIne.” he says before he places the keys into your hands. “I expect to see my car in one piece when I wake up in the morning.” “Yes sir.” You nod your head, before grabbing Antons arm and pulling him out of the door.

The two of you end up in a random parking lot staring up at the stars. It’s silent for the first few moments. The only thing playing is the slow music coming from inside the car. There’s not really anything to say, with you and Anton being friends for so long you found that the both of you already knew everything there was to know about each other.

So silences like this were comforting to you. Just being in each other's presence was enough for the both of you. “I love this song.” you say quietly.

“Are you scared?” He ask randomly completely catching you off guard,

“Scared of what?” You finally turn to him. “I don't know, we'll be starting college soon, and I know things are gonna change, I’m just worried we’re gonna grow apart.” He explains.

“We thought this same thing about highschool, and besides look at sungchan and eunseok. They’re still really close.” You say trying to calm his worries.

“But they’re both guys. What happens when we start dating people? And we don’t have time for each other.” He continues, “I don’t know, I’m probably just overthinking.”

“How about this,” You say sitting up to show that you were serious about what you were going to say next. “We make every second of this summer count, that way if college does draw us apart, We’ll still always have memories together.”

“Deal.” He says as he smiles and links his pinky with yours.

The best way to make memories is to try something you’ve never tried before, and something that neither you or Anton have ever tried was alcohol. So that seemed like the perfect place to start. Now there was a small dilemma with this, no one in your family were drinkers. So the chances of you getting access to alcohol was extremely slim.

Luckily you had a plan.

“Where are we supposed to get fake IDs from?” Anton asks when you explain to him how the both of you were going to sneak into a bar down in the city. “Where else?” You respond with a smirk that he finds both scary and intriguing.

“Oh hey sungchan.” You say casually as you waltz into the kitchen. “sup.” he bobs his head towards you.

“just out of peak curiosity, you wouldn’t know where to get an ID would you?”

“i might know someone, depending on who’s asking.” he cocks an eyebrow up to you.

“Anton and I just need one for this event that’s happening downtown. Do you think you can get it to us by next week?”

“I can get it to you by tomorrow.” he says

“But Eunseok can’t find out about this.” you make it clear. “Of course not, do you think I'm crazy?” he asks, which warrants you to give him a knowing look. Wondering why’d he’d even ask that question as he was promising to get fake IDs to two 19 year olds.

“Don’t answer that.”

“When are you gonna start packing up?” Anton asks, looking around at your overly decorated room. There isn’t one empty space on your wall yet you always find space to hang up another poster.

“I don’t know, I might just do what Eunseok did and leave all of this stuff here.”

“Are you sure you can live without your collection?” He asks, pointing to the books you started collecting in middle school and were still accumulating.

“No, those are coming with me.”

“You know, you’re gonna have to move this stuff out eventually right?”

“I know, I’m just not ready to see this room empty again.” You ponder while looking around the room. Something about it just gave you extreme nostalgia, this is where you grew up. This is where you had your first sleepover and where you went when you had your first “heartbreak.” (You sat in your room and cried for days because you didn’t get tickets to see your favorite band.)

So seeing your room empty would really make things reality for you. Things really are changing, time is passing you by and you’re getting older.

“Special delivery.” You don’t have to check to know exactly who’s standing on the other side of the door. Sungchan lets himself in, just as he always does. Butting into your room as if it was his own. “Look what I got?” he holds up a yellow envelope right in front of your eyes.

“What is it?” Anton asks, walking up next to you.

“It’s our ID’s” you answer

“Our fake ones?”

“Shh” you and sungchan both shush him at the same time, and you hurry to close the door before Eunseok could hear anything.

“show me the stuff.” you whisper when Sungchan pulls out the ID and shows it to the both of you.

“Rachel owens?” you ask, looking at your ID. “You can’t reveal your real name. Quickest way to get caught.” he explains

“Okay but I don't know how believable Brad Murray is.” Anton says, still looking at the hard plastic card. “what are they gonna do, tell you you’re wrong.” Sungchan responds

“I don’t know, this whole idea just seems wrong. Maybe we should just wait till we’re of age to drink.” Anton says and it causes you and Sungchan to burst out into a laugh.

“Wait till we’re of age?” you laugh, slapping sungchans arm “Who does this kid think he is?” Sungchan adds.

“Exactly that, a kid. We’re both kids, and we should just be kids.”

“Fine, I'll just go by myself then.” you throw your hands up and head downstairs with sungchan following you and leaving Anton alone.

“I’m gonna head out.” You say casually passing by your mom and brother.

“you’re leaving, and you didn’t ask for my car?” Eunseok asks

“I won’t need it tonight, I'm taking an uber.”

“an uber, where are you going?” Eunseok asks, stepping up to you. “we’re going to catch a movie, but it’s pretty long so we’ll probably be tired on the way back.” Anton answers for you, thankfully because you were going to just tell him that you were going grocery shopping.

“Oh, Anton's going with you? enjoy your movie then.” You see that Eunseok loosens up when he realizes that Anton's tagging along with you and it makes you question. “Wait why'd you do that?” you turn to Eunseok

“Do what?”

“how come you didn’t ask questions when Anton said he was coming with me?”

“Because I trust anton.”

“you don’t trust me?” You ask genuinely but Anton doesn’t let you stick around to find out the answer because he’s dragging you out of the door. “I don't think he trusts me.” you say again

“he doesn’t, no one does.” Anton states before turning around, closing the door.

“You don’t trust me?” You ask repeatedly, still confused.

“no, that’s why I'm not letting you go out alone.”

you would argue more about how trustworthy you were but you knew that everything you were planning to say would have just been a lie. So you just get in the uber next to Anton and keep your mouth closed the entire ride.

well for most of the ride. “So why don’t you trust me?” you ask when everyone’s dead silent. “We’re going to a bar with Fake IDs. and whose idea was this?” he states and it pretty much sums up everything for you

“That's fair.” you shake your head

“Why do I let you drag me into these kinds of things?” He looks out of the window and you turn to him. “You dragged yourself into this.”

“I miss when we used to stay up playing mario kart, now we’re sneaking out to bars.” He sighs dramatically

“We just played mario karts an hour ago.” you remind him

“and i wanna go back.”

“I didn't force you to come with me anton.”

“as the oldest of the two of us, it’s my duty to make sure that you’re safe.”

“you’re only older by a few weeks.” you say

“I still need to make sure you stay safe.”

“If I wanted a bodyguard I would’ve just invited eunseok.”

“Alright then, let’s call him up.” Anton says as he pulls out his phone to call your brother. Before he even unlocks it you feel your heart drop and you smack the phone out of his hand causing it to drop on the floor.

He looks at the phone then he looks at you. “Why would you do that?”

"If Eunseok finds out about this he’ll kill me. I’ll never be allowed to touch his car again, he’ll never shut up about it. he’ll make me show up to college wearing a shirt that says, “I’m an underage drinker.” he’ll ground me for years.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you decided to go out and get us fake IDs.” He snaps back while bending over to pick his phone up off the floor.

“I just want us to do something different and new. Before we lose each other forever.” You force your voice to get lower, knowing that he’ll feel bad and lay off your case.

“We won’t lose each other forever, we’ll always be friends.”

“But we won’t be best friends. We've always wanted to get drunk together, this might be the last time we ever get to do that.” You mumble while looking out the window for dramatic effect.

“We’ve never talked about getting drunk together.”

“But we’ve always thought about it.”

“I’ve always thought about playing mario karts for 24 hours straight.”

Hearing his response catches you off guard, you completely forget that you were trying to emotionally manipulate him out of snitching to Eunseok. He notices when you slowly turn your head and side eye him. “Mario Karts?”

“You know what, maybe it’s a good thing we aren’t gonna be friends for long.” You add before he can say anything.

“This is why your brother trusts me more than he trust you.” he spits back

“You think that’s a flex? it just makes you boring.”

“You think I’m boring?" He asks aggressively.

‘I do. We all do.”

“Who’s we?” he pipes up.

“Me, sungchan, the uber driver.” You suddenly point to the man who’s been minding his business throughout the whole ride.

“You think I’m boring?” Anton looks away from you and to the man. “I don’t know you, but you sound very unfun to be around.” The unnamed speaks calmly while keeping his eyes on the road.

“Unfun?” Anton asks again.

“That’s what he said.” you chuckle

“I’m not unfun!” He pouts, leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed. You’re too amused to really argue back with him.

The rest of the car goes quiet yet again until Anton speaks up once more. “I hope you can hold your alcohol because I won't be carrying you back home.”

“I can hold my alcohol” you say confidently although you’re really unsure, since you’ve never had any alcoholic drinks.

The line to the club is just like you saw in the movies. It’s so long you think about just turning around and going back but Anton is still on his quest to prove just how fun he is, which is why he forces you to stand in the line with him. Until the both of you are face to face with a 7-foot-tall security guard who looks like he eats 5 dozen raw eggs and a horse for breakfast.

“IDs.” is all he says but it has your heart beating outside of your chest. Both of you are hesitant to pull out the fakes you have in your wallet. Yet, you still pull yours out first and show it to the man, Anton following your lead.

“This looks like a fake.” he says bluntly.

“A fake? ID? I didn’t even know those were real things.”

“Obviously they're not real, that’s the problem.” Anton begins to start yet another argument with you; however he’s quickly hushed when the security guard yells “Brad.” and Anton begins looking around trying to find out who he’s talking about. To which you just facepalm and whisper “He’s talking to you idiot.”

“Oh right, I’m Brad. Brad Murray, that’s me.” he straightens up.

It’s painfully obvious that the both of you are lying that you don’t even try to hide it anymore. With the security guard looking down at both of you, you’re sure he’s gonna turn you away but he just sighs and passes your IDs back.

“They don’t pay me enough for this.” he mumbles as he opens the rope to let you and Anton in. The music aggressively meets your ears before you even walk into the building. And you can smell the extreme scents of alcohol and whatever it is that people are doing inside of the place.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” stop in front of Anton, contemplating just going home. “Do you wanna go home?” He asks, and something about hearing him say makes you realize that’s not what you want to do. So you grab his hand and guide him all the way into the club where you could fully hear the music.

It’s so loud that you can feel it through your feet. There's so much going on you don’t even know where to start, and the flashing lights are starting to make you dizzy. But it all excites you, the music, the lights, the alcohol everything is so exciting to you.

“Let’s get drunk.” You yell to Anton first, but you don’t get a chance to go anywhere because he’s pulling you back by the hand that you still have intertwined with him. “Call me boring and unfun but I still don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Well then you don’t have to drink.” You state before attempting to walk away again but he just pulls you right back, not letting you step away. “I don’t want you to either.”

“Okay I won’t.”

“You promise?” he holds his pinky finger out to you, but you only stare at it. Pinky promises were very dear to the both of you, in the 6 years that you’ve been friends neither of you have ever broken a pinky promise. And You knew that if you made this promise, you very well didn’t have the intentions on keeping it.

“I promise.” You say looking off to the side, and failing to link pinkies with his.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by him as he nudges his finger out to you so you can solidify the promise. “Come one Anton, just this one time.” Staring at him until he finally gives in and sighs.

“Only one drink.’ He states firmly holding up his index finger to really drive his point. “Okay, fine. Only one.”

30 minutes had passed and you had drunk way more than the both of you agreed on, in fact you had sweet talked some random man at the bar into paying for your drinks. Completely missing the look that Anton gives you every time you take another sip.

Despite his annoyance with you, he still hasn’t let go of your hand. No matter how many times you tried to yank your hand away from him. Or tried talking and flirting with guys around you. He’d just pull you back towards him and claim you as his girlfriend so they wouldn’t try and take the initiative to flirt back.

“Isn’t this fun?” you slur resting your face against his back because you had lost your balance to stand up straight. “Are you having fun?” he asks, flipping the question back around on you.

“Mm hmm.” You bounce your head up and down. “Lots of fun.”

“How much have you had to drink?” He asks, already knowing the answer but wanting to make sure that you were keeping up with the amount of alcohol you were consuming. “I had umm 3.” you stumble in front of him and hold three fingers up with a big smile.

“No, you had this many.” He corrects while pulling up 7 more of your fingers.

“10?”

“It’s time to get you home.”

“I’m not ready to go home.” you state while trying to wobble away from him, when you do you walk face first into some random man's chest and giggle when you fall into his arms. “Hi, wow you’re tall.”

Anton thinks about just leaving you to face your own consequences but quickly changes his mind once he notices the strange man's hand placements and weird smile. There weren’t enough signs to show that he had bad intentions until he slipped his hands over your back jeans pockets and whispered something in your ear. That’s when Anton finally made the decision to jump in.

“Sorry about her, she’s really drunk right now.” Anton politely speaks while pulling one of your arms so you could go back towards him.

“She doesn’t seem too drunk.” The man says with his arm loosely around your waist.

“She’s 19.” Anton adds hoping that it’d be enough to pull the man off of you.

“Even better.”

He had to protect you, that’s what he kept telling himself the whole ride home. He did it to protect you, any other normal person would’ve also resorted to violence if their best friend was being inappropriately touched by a man almost twice her age.

He shouldn’t really feel bad, he knew you weren’t gonna remember anything when you woke up in the morning. You weren’t gonna remember how many drinks you had, or how you got home. And you definitely weren’t gonna remember how his knuckles got all bloody and bruised.

You turn onto your side and curve into a ball when he lays his blanket over top of you. It’s pretty dark but he can still make out small features of your face, and he can see when you open your eyes slightly to look at him.

“Go to sleep.” he says, but you just kinda smile.

“You’re really cute,” you say with a raspy voice, your eyes are too heavy to keep open but you try to do so anyways. Just so you can keep looking at the pretty soft spoken boy in front of you.

“I am so gonna make fun of you for this tomorrow.” He laughs but you don’t respond. You’ve already fallen back asleep and it doesn’t take too long for him to do the same, laying right beside you but leaving enough room in between the both of you.

When you wake up in the morning you feel an immense amount of pain coming from all over your body. You feel like you’ve been hit by a bus, or maybe even something bigger. A train. You don’t really have the strength to get up from your bed so you don’t even try. You just roll over and stare at the light blue painted walls.

It takes a good 2 minutes for you to realize that your walls aren’t blue, and that the large panda teddy bear sitting on your bed isn’t yours. In fact this bed isn’t yours either. This is when you finally gain enough strength to finally sit up, and look around. Seeing that this isn’t your room at all. Who’s room is it? You’re not sure. It looks very familiar like you should know but you really don’t.

In the time it takes to find out whose bed you're in, Anton walks in with a big warm bowl of your favorite oatmeal. “You’re awake.” He says when he sits down on the bed beside you.

“Unfortunately.” you take a breath of relief when you see his face.

“I made you oatmeal.” He places the bowl in front of you.

“Thanks.”

“Sorry I didn’t take you home, I figured you wouldn’t want your brother to see you drunk.”

“Was I that bad?” Your voice is still strained from the night before

“Yes.”

“Did I do anything weird?” you ask but you don’t know if you’re ready to hear the answer.

“You said I was cute.”

“You?”

“Trust me it was weird for both of us.” He lies.

“Let’s just pretend like last night never happened. I’m never touching an alcoholic beverage ever again.” You state while mixing up your oatmeal.

“Promise.” Anton asks with his pinky out towards you.

“I promise.” You make sure you seal the deal this time, looping your pinky around his and rocking your hand a little to show you were very serious.

“Good. cause it sucked having to carry you home.” He adds when you begin eating the oatmeal.

“You carried me?”

“Well how do you think you got here?” He questions, through his smile

“I’m still sobering up, my thinking skills aren’t up to date.”

“You know something, you’re actually kinda cute when you’re drunk.”

“Shut up.” you scream covering your ears so you don’t have to hear anything else he says.

You finally go back to your own home when the sun sets, that’s when you feel that you’re sober enough to face your brother without being suspicious. Although no matter how sober you are, you’re always gonna be suspicious around him.

“You’re back finally. How was the movie?” Eunseok greets you when you first walk in.

“Movie?” you question, so Anton answers for you.

“It was good for me atleast, but she fell asleep through most of it.”

“Oh, you guys went to a movie? That’s very romantic.” Sungchan asks as he walks into the living room stuffing his face with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Despite knowing that there wasn’t any movie.

Neither of you take the time to argue with him. But it doesn't stop him from continuing.

"Did you hold hands?"

“No!” you finally answer him, and you expect Anton to do the same but he only snickers behind you, leaving you to defend yourself.

“I'm glad you guys enjoyed your date, go start packing so we can head to dads old cabin” Eunseok casually jokes, and it almost irritates you

“It wasn't a date.” you stomp but it doesn’t help you at all because they all laugh when your voice squeaks.

“Is that why you’re wearing his shirt?” sungchan points out

you look down at the extremely oversized Harley davidson graphic tee that you have on. there isn’t even any explanation for this, sure you could tell them the truth. that you threw up all over your own clothes so he gave you his as a replacement. but it was probably best that you didn’t let your anger get the best of you this time.

So you proceed to change the subject instead. “We’re going to the cabin?”

“Yeah, we’re driving out there tonight. So hurry.” He rushes you.

The cabin belonged to your dad before he died, he liked it because it was hidden in the woods. Away from the city that your mom loved so much. It balanced perfectly because it was a 30 minute ride away from the house and he enjoyed a good drive.

He’d often go out there on the weekends with Eunseok and go fishing. While you stayed with your mom and visited the small boutiques nearby. That’s what influenced your father to leave the cabin to Eunseok seeing that he’d probably get more use out of it than you would.

The cabin was pretty outdated but it had enough room for the four of you to stay for a few nights. You weren’t too fond of the old place but what you did like was the lake in the back. You liked the way it mirrored the sky during sunrises. Or the way the moon reflected off the ripples of the water.

“okay so here are the rules.” Eunseok begins but he doesn’t get to finish because the rest of you are already grunting aloud.

“alright alright, I won’t go over the rules. because I assume all of us are adults and we would know how to behave ourselves.”

“Great, I'm sharing the room with Anton.” you call dibs by looping your arm around him and pulling him closer to you.

“you guys are never beating the dating allegations.” Sungchan mutters at how tightly you have your arm around Anton’s.

“You'll never kiss a girl in your life.” you spit at him

“At least my only love interest isn’t my best friend.” He gestures quotations around the word best friend.

“Okay okay.” Eunseok holds his hands out to stop an argument from growing. “It looks like we definitely need to go over the rules.”

“no need.” Anton speaks up. “we’ll be behaved.”

“Yes we will.” you add, resting your head on Anton’s shoulder to block out the faces that Sungchan makes to you from behind Eunseok.

“and you?” your brother turns to his friend.

“I'll be good.” He turns his attention away from you the second Eunseok looks at him.

“Alright, then we’ll call it a night.” Eunseok doesn’t expect for any of you to say anything else, so he walks away to his shared room with Sungchan and leaves you alone with Anton.

“We should go swimming.” you whisper when you’re sure Eunseok can’t hear you.``it’s 11 pm.” Anton tries to stop you.

“even better.”

“You can’t swim,” he tries again but it still doesn’t work.

he should’ve known better by now. This was the dynamic of your friendship. You'd come up with a crazy idea and he'd try to talk you out of it but fails every time.

You ease your way into the lake taking one step after another. The water is cold but the heat from the summer night helps your body adjust easily the more you walk in. Trying not to slip on the rocks until your body is completely submerged under water. your feet are still grounded so it helps keep your head at the water's surface.

“feels good.” you say looking up to Anton who isn’t convinced.

“If you drown, I'm not jumping in to save you.” he confirms with his arms crossed against his chest.

“I'm not gonna drown.” You continue swimming around

“good cause i’m not gonna save you.”

“You should get in.”

“It’s dark, there’s probably snakes in there,” It’s obvious that he wants to but he refuses. instead taking a seat on the dock where the little old is so that he could just watch you swim by yourself.

which you do for a while, pushing your arms around you to keep yourself afloat. There’s nobody to accompany the two of you other than the singing owls and blue white light of the moon.

“You’re so boring.”

“That's not gonna work this time, the last time you tried that trick I had to fight some guy.”

“you fought someone?” you ask trying to float back

“It wasn't a real fight, I just punched him a few times. I don’t really know if I could call it a fight because he didn’t hit back. well, he didn’t get the chance to.”

He begins to start mumbling to himself and misses the fact that you haven’t been responding. When he finally notices and looks up in your direction, all he can see is your hands waving in the air as if you need help.

but you always play stupid tricks like these so he just laughs at you, assuming that this was another one of your pranks. “I'm not falling for that.”

“you’re a bad actor.” he continues to laugh at how committed you seem to be to this bit. However after 12 seconds he observes that you’ve been underwater for some time. which starts to worry him.

“Y/n?” he calls out just once, and immediately jumps in when you don’t respond. Swimming right to you and picking you up in his arms so you can catch some air first. You have to cough the water out of your lungs before you could even get a breath of air. Chest heaving up and down and your eyes closed tightly shut as she swims you back to the dock and sits you down.

You’re still coughing when he pulls himself out of the lake to sit down besides you and make sure you’re okay. Which he had told you already that he wasn’t gonna do. And he doesn’t just stop there. He leaves you by yourself for a little bit but only to go get a few towels that he can wrap around you, and dry you off himself.

Almost drowning took a lot of your energy so you don’t do anything to help him help you, You just stare at him while he takes the towel to dry your hair. Neither one of you says anything for a while until he carries you back into the cabin and lays you down on your side of the bed.

“Now you’re gonna have dreams about drowning.” He laughs and sit up to dry himself off.

“I wasn’t drowning, I was just trying to do a cartwheel underwater.” you lie, leaned back against the pillow and watching him remove his extremely soaked shirt.

“Sure you were.”

“I really was.” you try to defend yourself again, but he still doesn’t believe you. There’s no use in acknowledging that he literally saved your life. Because even though you were very grateful you already knew he would, and also this was going to be something else that he’s never going to shut up about.

“What would you do without me?”

“You might’ve saved my life once...”

“twice.” he corrects

“don’t flatter yourself.” you smile, gently smacking his arm.

Anton wakes up in the morning to find that you’re sitting by the window, staring at the way the sunrise shines off the lake. Your chin is rested on your knees, which are pressed to your chest and chained together by your arms.

“You’re up early.’ Anton crawls to the part of the bed where you are and sits besides you. Close enough to where you can lay your head on his arm. “I love the sunsets up here.” You speak low enough for it to be classified as a whisper.

To which he hums to show that he acknowledged what you had said. But there is just something about sitting in silence with each other that the both of you love. Nothing has to be said and there aren’t even any thoughts. But just knowing that he’s there right next to you is more comforting than anything else in the world.

“Wait, did you really fight someone?” You question suddenly lifting your head from his arm.

“It’s no big deal.” He brushes off, however you don’t buy it as you angle your entire body towards him. “Anton, you could’ve died.”

“No, actually I- wait what are you trying to say?”

“You can’t fight, even I can pin you down.”

“That’s because I always let you win.”

“Sure.” you say rolling your eyes.

“I can prove it.” he stands up in front of you. As if he’s actually ready to start a wrestling match.

“There’s no-” You don’t get to say anything because he’s begun playfully attacking you. “You don’t have to prove anything.” you yell in your defense while still putting all your force into holding him down just as you always do.

Yet this time is different, and you realize that when he hovers over top of you with both of your arms pinned to the bed right above your head. You weakly try to pull yourself out but it doesn’t work. And then you make the mistake of looking up at him, your heart jumping when you do.

His face is unusually close to yours, so close that you stop breathing and you feel like you have nowhere else to look but at him. The both of you are too stunned to say anything at first, and when you finally take the initiative to speak first, it comes out almost in a whisper.

“Okay you win.”

“Yeah.” He says looking away from your eyes and down at your lips.

“So you can get off of me now.” You say once again trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach and the underlying urge to see if his lips feel as soft as they look.

“Yeah, sorry.” he mutters while rolling off of you and taking a seat besides you, neither of you say it but you both make a mental note to never speak of that interaction again.

“Are you hungry?” he asks while avoiding eye contact.

“A little, I’ll go see If Eunseok is awake.” You say quickly jumping off the bed and running towards the door.

It’s night two of three, when you walk into the room where Anton is seated on the bed trying to get through a 3 minute video, that seems longer because it won’t stop buffering every 10 seconds due to the very bad wifi connection.

You turn and lock the door behind you before getting Antons attention. “Wanna try this?” You ask, holding up the plate of brownies.

“A brownie? Sure.”

“No but it’s not any brownie, It’s a magical brownie.” you add, to make sure that he knew what he was getting himself into. “Magical? Like Jack's magical beans?” He asks while reaching for a brownie.

“No you idiot, they’re edibles.”

“Where’d you even get these from?” He asks.

“Sungchan gave them to me.” You answer while splitting the brownie and passing the smaller half to him.

“He said we shouldn’t eat the whole thing.” You add before taking a bite and watching him take his.

“But why would he give us four of them if we can’t eat the whole thing?” Anton asks

“Maybe I heard him wrong.” You think aloud.

By the time you finished eating all of the brownies you definitely felt the effects. Sitting legs crossed in front of Anton and just staring at him until you swore you could see his thought bubbles. “You know something…” You say leaning in closer to him, still analyzing the small features of his face.

“You have a really big nose.” You finish while tilting your head to the side.

“You have really pretty eyes.” He combats

“Okay.” You say ignoring his complement. Walking on your knees to sit directly on his lap.

“What are you doing?” He’s confused but his hands go directly to your waist to keep you bound. “Let’s have sex.” You say.

“What?”

“You don’t wanna go into college a virgin do you?” You try to convince him.

“I’m not a virgin.” He states questionably. So questionably that if you didn’t already know, you would’ve known from his tone alone that he was in fact a virgin.

“Yeah right.”

“I’m not.” He lies again.

“Shut up and kiss me.” You yell and he obeys, well partly. He only places a small kiss on your lips and finishes with a pat using the tips of his fingers.

“Wow?” you mutter

“I know, I’m a great kisser.” He boast on himself

“No, You suck.”

“Like you know? You’ve never kissed anyone.”

“No, but I know that’s not how you do it.” You say still sitting in his lap with your hands on each of his shoulders.

“Well you show me how it’s done.” just as fast as he finishes your lips are on his.

Giving him your first kiss and initiating a 30 minute make out session. Until you both fall asleep on the floor, with you wrapped in his arms.

Falling asleep in his arms wasn’t new. You’d done it plenty of times. however, in those many times, you were completely sober. So you never had to question whether or not you guys had sex.

You’re not naked, you know that much. so that must mean that nothing happened. but you very much remember telling him that you guys should have sex, and your last memory of the night was making out on the floor until you started to think that you might actually like him as more than a friend.

“we didn’t… do anything right?” you ask sitting up and looking back down at him.

“I don't remember.” he replies

“Neither do i.”

“The edibles aren’t supposed to plague or memory right?”

“I don't think so.”

and then it goes silent for a minute. right before the both of you start arguing.

“we had sex, oh my god i can’t believe i had sex with you.” you get up and start pacing

“Well you’re the one who came up with the idea.”

“I was high! plus you agreed. Why did you agree?”

“I was also high.”

“our friendship is ruined, we can’t ever speak to each other again.”

“Wait. really?” he pauses to look at you.

“don’t you understand what this means? we’ll fall in love with each other. it’s inevitable. there’s no solution.”

“We could just date.” he blurts out and stares at you as if he’s waiting for a legitimate answer.

“Why would we do that?” You say after staring at him in silence.

“doesn’t it just make sense?” he throws his hands up.

“no it doesn’t, we don’t like each other.”

“Well, what do you suggest?” He plops down on the bed.

“We should forget about it.”

To make matters worse, sungchan walks in right when you’ve started to calm yourself down about the idea of ruining your friendship.

“oh by the way i forgot to warn you guys, the brownies are high in… something that makes you horny. but you don’t have to worry about it, you guys are immune to that stuff.”

“yeah… we don’t have to worry about it.” You try to convince him but it doesn’t work.

“You had sex didn’t you?”

“no.” “yes.” you and Anton say at the exact same time, turning to look at each other before changing your answers.”yes.” “no”

“We don't know.” you answer solo this time. “I remember suggesting it and then we… I don't wanna talk about it.”

“Well, there’s only one thing left to do now.” Sungchan walks in fully and closes the door behind him. you don’t know what he’s about to say but you know it’s serious. “You have to date now.”

“That's what I was saying.” Anton says, throwing his arms up.

“No.” You turn and point your index finger to him and then back to Sungchan. “No.”

“No, we’ll just pretend like nothing happened, and Eunseok will never ever find out about this.”

Your plan to keep Eunseok from finding out wasn’t particularly solid. You walk out to the living space where he’s setting out the dishes for breakfast. He's not the best cook but it’s at least edible, sometimes. you’d usually tease him about it, but you’re caught completely off guard when he goes “there you guys are, I was worried something happened with all the noise you were making last night.”

“uh…” Anton stumbles across his words, he’s standing like a deer stuck in headlights.

“We were practicing, hand…stands.” You start to think of a lie to explain the noise he heard yesterday.

“Handstands?” Eunseok doesn’t even look at you.

“He doesn’t know how to do a handstand.” you say pointing to Anton.

“That’s a relief I thought you were doing something else.” He still isn’t facing you. But he knew the exact reaction he was gonna get from you.

“Something else?”

“He’s a boy, you’re a girl. You like boys, he likes girls.” He explains.

“We didn’t have sex.” You blurt out suspiciously

“I didn’t say you did.”

“But if we did.” Anton speaks up, despite the looks that you're shooting him from the corner of your eye to signal him to shut up.

“What would you suggest?” he continues

“Well then, you would just have to date.” Eunseok finally turns around to face you. Warranting your heart to drop to your stomach. You think you might just shit yourself right there. “But that’s just hypothetical of course.” he adds.

“We wouldn’t have to date. We could let it go and act like we never did it.”

“That wouldn’t work, the second you two even share a kiss you’re bound to fall in love.” Eunseok says.

That exact statement circulates your mind the entire day. You couldn’t fall in love with Anton, it just wouldn’t make sense. You don’t even see him that way, and you don’t imagine you ever will.

The rest of the day goes by and you’re still thinking about what may or may not have happened between you and your best friend last night. Keeping a safe distance just in case. Although it definitely seems to bother you more than it bothered him, because while you were still racking your brain of everything that happened the night prior, he’s just sitting in the corner of the room playing Mario karts.

“I think I just need to sleep.” You say heading towards the bed.

“I think that’s a good idea, I'm getting tired too.” he gets up to stretch before walking to the bed behind you.

“what are you doing?” you stop to ask

“I'm going to bed.” He says casually, staring at you as if he truly couldn’t understand why you’d be so hostile about him sleeping in the same bed as you.

“We can't sleep in the same bed.” You shake your head

“Why not? We sleep together all the time.”

“Don’t! say that.” you shush him with your index finger. “Okay, you take the bed, and I'll go take the couch.”

“The bed is big enough for both of us.” He looks at you when you walk closer towards the door.

“Why are you making this so hard?” You facepalm

“I'm just trying to get some sleep, you’re the one making this hard.”

You take a deep breath before speaking again, whispering as if someone could hear you through the walls. "What if we… again.”

“if we?” He asks

“You know, what if we..” you hold your hands up to make sexual gestures just so he’d understand what you were finally getting to. Yet he’s still staring at you like he just doesn't get it.

“What if we have sex again Anton, what if we have sex.” you finally just say throwing your arms down in frustration.

And you bicker for a good 15 more minutes until you finally cave in and just take the bed. His winning argument being that it’s hard for him to sleep alone since he didn’t have his stuffed panda with him. To which you replied, “You should’ve grown out of that phase years ago.” While still stuffing yourself under the sheets besides him.

September 6th 2015, is the exact date you met Anton. You remember because you still have the initial test that you copied off of him. It was the first time you’d ever made a perfect score on a test, and while you were proud of yourself your mom grew very suspicious.

You knew him before then, but you never thought to speak to him until he caught you cheating off his paper and threatened to tell the teacher. Leaving you with no other choice but to bribe him with dinosaur chicken nuggets. Which honesty was a win for you because your mom loved to pack them for you for lunch and you just didn’t have the heart to tell her that you hated them.

Since then, the two of you were attached at the hip, navigating both middle school and high school together.

You liked to remind yourself of that often, it made you feel better about the rest of life. Because you were soon to be an adult and it was horrifying to you. Even though you had your mom, your brother and Sungchan. It’s just reassuring to know that you had Anton, who was equally as scared as you were.

Listening to music through your black headphones, you sat in your room. The one place in the whole world where you could truly feel at ease. Where your walls are plastered with posters and your bed is never made. You were lucky to spend less than 5 minutes searching for anything within the 4 corners of your own space. But you loved it nonetheless.

You tried to listen to anything that would take your mind off of the event that happened over the weekend, however you were shit out of luck because every song on your playlist either talked about kissing or directly described the friends to lover's pipeline.

Throwing your headphones off, you huff and throw yourself back to stare at the ceiling. Dragging both of your hands down your face. Your friendship with Anton was easily one of the best things you had in your life and you were actively ruining it.

This is actually extremely stressful.

Usually when things got this stressful, you’d go to your loyal confidant, but since you couldn’t go to him you go to the internet instead. crawling towards your laptop to look up advice from others who had gone too far with their best friend.

There were over 7,340,000 results, in which you had rapidly read through at least a hundred of them. There’s all different answers ranging from “there’s no way to mend the friendship.” to “the awkward sexual makes it too hard to bear, the only solution is to cut them off.” Each website you click on makes your gut feel like it’s turning inside out.

The thought of having to lose Anton as a friend makes your heart feel like it’s getting stomped on by a 10 foot giant. Your eyes are flooding with tears thinking about the small irrevocable mistake that the both of you shared when you weren’t in the right state of mind.

Until you click on one last link that catches your attention.

“Just continue seeing each other as friends, overtime it’ll sort itself out.”

Just seeing the words on your screen alone is enough to feel like a nice warm hug. Drying your eyes and reading the message over until you finally start to believe that everything is actually gonna be okay.

You get up off your bed when someone gently knocks at your door, you know who it is because it’s the only person who ever knew to knock.

“Come in.” You try to mask the sorrow in your voice, and it works just barely enough for Eunseok to not catch on.

“Hey, just wondering if you're gonna come down for dinner.” He says only peeking through the doorway. “Yeah, I’ll be down there soon.” You begin to start looking around your bed for absolutely nothing, just so he couldn’t see how red and puffy your eyes were while crying.

“Okay, don’t be long. Also, Antons's downstairs waiting for you.” He adds.

“Antons here.” You quickly turn around to face him, no longer caring if he could tell that you had been sobbing just a few minutes before. Something about just hearing his name causes your heart to beat faster and your lips to turn up into a smile.

“Oh wait, he's right here.” Eunseok says backing up so your closest friend could walk in behind him. He could immediately tell you had been crying, you knew he could. Because his soft smile drops into an expression of empathy, but not yet saying anything until he knew that you had the room to yourselves.

“I’ll leave you guys, but don’t forget to come eat dinner with us.” He says once more before he closes the door. Giving you the privacy Anton’s been waiting for.

“Were you crying?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

“No.” You lie.

“I didn’t mean to bother you, I got a little nervous when you hadn’t texted me at all-.” He stops his rambling when you take a seat on your bed and look up at him. He thinks you’re about to cry again but you're just happy to see that nothing has changed between the both of you.

“I was just scared that we were gonna lose our friendship.” You mumble just a little.

“We’ve gone through worse, like the time that I pretended to forget your birthday and you stopped talking to me for a whole month.” he kneels in front of you so you don’t have to look up at him.

The memory makes you laugh a little. Remembering how upset you were, and how he baked you a homemade cake just to get you to forgive him.

“Could you just promise me that no matter what we’ll always be friends.” You ask, your voice still a little shaky from your crying session. Pinky held out towards him because you know that under no circumstance will the promise be broken.

“I promise that we’ll be best friends forever.” He links his pinky onto yours, but it doesn’t last for long because you’re already throwing your arms around him to engulf him in a big hug.

topping him over a little as he softly laughs.

“But, we should probably lay off the edibles and do something normal.” He waits until you’re pulled away from and seated back onto your bed. “like a movie.” he suggests

“deal,” You nod.

If it were anyone else, this would be considered a date. It had the same feel as a date, you’re sitting in your room trying to find an appropriate outfit and fix your hair. When Sungchan yells from downstairs. “Y/n your boyfriends here.” Causing you to glance in the mirror once more before you run down the stairs to meet him.

Neither of you care to argue with Sungchan, only paying attention to each other. “You look really pretty.” Anton speaks first, looking down at you. “Thanks.” you smile at him, but the smile doesn’t do justice to the fluttering butterflies that you feel in your stomach.

“Here’s the keys.” Eunseok places them into your hand without you even having to ask. “Really.” you tame yourself from jumping up and down.

“Don’t be out too late, and don’t crash my car.” He states, pointing his index finger at you.

“We won’t.” You head to the front door, when Sungchan yells one last time. “Enjoy your date.”

“What movie are we going to see by the way?” You ask only once you get into the car.

“You’ll see.” is all he says, and it makes you beg him for more information. “Could you atleast give me a hint.”

“It’s over an hour long.”

“Oh, thanks Anton, that helps.” You sarcastically say, while starting the car. “I think you’ll like it.” He says last.

Anton’s checking in the movie’s ticket while you’re sitting in the back just watching him, there’s no one else in the main area besides the employees, Anton, you and the stranger that walks up from behind you and compliments the shirt that you're wearing.

“Are you waiting for someone?” The man asks

“Yeah, I’m here with my friend.” You point towards Anton who’s staring intently at your interaction with the man in front of you. “He’s getting our tickets.” you add before turning your attention back to the stranger. “Are you single? By chance?” He asks suddenly but it flatters you.

The boy is smaller than what you’d describe as your type, but he’s cute and he looks very friendly. He has hair that you think you could spend hours playing in, and it’d be nice to get an actual boyfriend so Sungchan and Eunseok didn’t tease you about Anton.

“Yeah, I am.” You smile up at him as you stand up. “My name is Y/n.” You add, holding your hand out for him to shake. “My name is Sohee.” He’s about to connect hands with yours but Anton does it first as he stands besides you. Towering over both of you.

“We have to hurry and catch the movie.” He speaks only to you first, until you look at Sohee and back at him.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t see you here.” He lies.

“I don’t wanna hold you up.” Sohee says, particularly paying attention to the way Anton gently and subtly interlocks his fingers with yours. “Sorry about that.” You apologize sincerely.

“It’s no problem, I hope you enjoy the movie.” He says last before Antons dragging you off.

“Who was that?” he asks as you go down the hallway to find out which movie room was showing the movie that you intended to see. “He said his name was Sohee, I thought he had really nice hair.” You look up at Anton.

“I also have nice hair.” He whines.

“No, I mean his hair looks so soft.”

“And mine doesn’t.” He turns to look down at you.

“This isn’t about you.” You giggle. It takes for the both of you to walk into the movie room together for you to realize that he still hadn’t told you what movie you were gonna be watching. You don’t ask now, because you figure that you’ll just find out when it starts playing.

However, once you take your seat right besides your best friend all the way in the back. You miss the title of the movie because you’re too fixated on the fact he hadn’t let go of your hand since he grabbed it earlier. Watching the way he mindlessly rubs his thumb in slow and gentle circles around the back of your hand.

You’d pull away and scold him, but it actually felt nice. So you just rest your head on his arm and continue to watch the rest of the movie.

It was easy forgetting about the 11 pm fiasco in the cabin. You guess Anton was right, your friendship has seen worse. And now you feel kinda silly remembering how you cried thinking about the ending of your friendship.

If that was even possible, because as long as you’ve known Anton you knew there wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t do just to talk to you. Even now when he snuck himself into your room, for nothing else but to show you the memory box that he found buried deep beneath his bed.

Neither of you remember when you started making it, but both of you were glad to have it. The box was filled with random inanimate objects that actually helped to build the friendship that you have now. Things ranging from the test that brought you together in the first place.

To the small purple transparent lighter that you intended to use as a prop for your magic trick. But actually, almost became an accessory to arson. You were trying to recreate one of those fire throwing acts that you saw on tv however you got a little too carried away and set one of the towels on fire in your bathroom.

In Anton’s defense he told you over and over again that you shouldn’t do it. In your defense? You didn’t have one.

The box is filled with not only random memory sakes, but also tons of pictures of the two of you from when you got your first polaroid for christmas.

The first one you come across is a picture that Eunseok took of you and Anton in your Halloween costumes.

You’d spent months convincing Anton to go with you as Jack Skellington and Sally because of your small obsession with Tim Burton at the time.

He agreed but it wasn’t at all an easy task. And you didn’t even know he would agree until he showed up to your front door with face paint and a very unamused frown. It didn’t phase you at all though because you jumped up and down while giggling and clapping, completely missing the small growing smile that he was gaining just from knowing that you were happy and he was the cause of it.

“Aren’t Jack and Sally a couple?” Sungchan questions when you hand Eunseok your polaroid and ask him to take a picture of you.

“Duh.” you say oblivious to the point he’s trying to make.

“So if you’re Jack and you’re sally…” he points to you as he says “Doesn't that make you a couple.” He finishes with a grin. “No, it’s a costume you idiot.” You yell at him, reaching for your shoe to throw at him.

You’re ready to fight but Anton only looks down at you and smiles at how easily angry you got. And that’s exactly when Eunseok takes the picture.

Anton watches your subtle smile as you flip through each of the polaroids, he begins to mirror your smile when you look up at him and giggle softly. “Oh look at this one.” You hold one of the pictures just inches away from his eyes where he could barely see.

Rather than just taking the photograph out of your hand to see it better, he wraps his hand around your wrist and backs it up to a better angle. The gesture is very simple but you don’t fail to notice that he’s rubbing the tip of his thumb back and forth over your skin.

“I remember this.” he laughs, looking at the photo. You feel a bit of coolness fall over you when he lets go of your arm to look through the rest of the box. Which you think to do after staring at him for 5 seconds too long. Flipping though the rest of the polaroids in your hand, when you come across another picture.

This one isn’t from your camera. It’s a picture your mom took of you when you invited him over to the house for the first time. She was so happy that you had finally made a friend, she didn’t even care that she was actively embarrassing you. Sneaking pictures, and watching behind walls whenever you had finally built some gut to actually talk to him.

It was so long ago, and you were so young. It’s fun to think about now, but it’s even better to think about how long you’ve known him.

“Isn’t it crazy that we’ve been friends for so long and neither of us has a crush on eachother.” You ask, still looking down at the picture.

“Yeah.” He laughs

When you look up you see your best friend, the one person outside of your family that stuck with you through thick and thin. Who held you every time you cried and dried your tears to tell you that everything was going to be alright. Who, no matter what, never made you feel like a burden or like you were too much. Who made it obvious over and over again that they’d do anything to keep you happy.

You see Lee Anton.

He’s meant to be in your life, you’re very sure of it. Because no one understood you like he did, and no one ever will as long as he’s alive. No one defended you like he did, and you don’t care to learn if anyone else might.

But as time went on, the lines started to blur. Because you want to kiss him now, and you’re not sure if you want to do it as his best friend or something more. Gradually leaning in closer to him until your lips just barely touch.

He takes the initiative to go all the way. Furthering the kiss, you have to grab onto his shoulders to keep yourself stable.

You can’t explain it but this just feels right, or better yet, it definitely didn’t feel wrong.

Your eyes are still closed when you pull away, but the instant you open them he mutters. “I love you.” Causing you to get up and jump away from him as if he was infected with a contagious deadly disease.

“You ruined it.” You yell at him, loud enough for him to know how startled you are but not enough for anyone outside of the room to hear.

“I’m sorry!” he pleads. Within a few seconds he’s standing over you so you have to look up at him. For as long as you knew him he’d always been taller than you, it was so obvious that everyone else pointed out the extreme height difference. Well, everyone but you.

“Why would you say that?” You throw your arms down.

“I don’t know, it just came out.”

“You don’t mean it, do you?” You ask, but this time you aren’t yelling and your voice is calmer.

“Of course, I mean it. We’ve been friends for years and I love you.”

“Stop saying that!”

“Do you love me?” His voice is softer than usual and you hate it, there’s just no way you could give him any other answer outside of the one he’s asking to hear. Yet and still you can’t give him anything because you’re not even sure yourself.

“Do you?” he asks again, breaking the long period of silence.

“Could you just kiss me again?” You ask, and he listens. Just as he always does because you’re his best friend and all he wants is to make you happy.

The question never quite left your mind. "Did you love him?” No. “Do you love him?" The obvious answer is yes. It'd be impossible to not love someone that you've been close friends with for just a little less than half your life. Someone that knew almost everything about you.

But this was a more complicated question. Because you know he wasn't asking if you love him as a best friend, and that wasn't an answer you were ready to find out. If you loved him any differently than a friend, then it would change everything.

That's what you're afraid of.

Although, it's a little too late to be scared for the friendship if you're even questioning it in the first place.

It’s been two days since that night, but neither of you had the balls to bring it up again. Seems as if you were getting better at pretending things never happened. You could try and say that things hadn’t changed at all, but that’d be a lie.

Usually you liked the comfort of your own room, but the more you spent in there alone the more you felt that the silence was getting too loud for your own good, and the very last thing you needed right now was to be alone in your thoughts.

So for once you decided to sit in the living room and enjoy the presence of your brother and his best friend. Sitting further away from both of them on the sofa with your legs pressed up against your chest. There weren’t any intentions of interacting with either of them, you just needed to get around somewhere that wasn’t ear ringing quiet.

But every part of you wishes you would’ve just stayed in your room, when you become the topic of discussion.

“Are you texting your boyfriend?” Sungchan teases per usual.

“No.” Is all you say, hoping that if you don’t give him the attention he wants, he’ll leave you alone. He doesn’t but what were you expecting, he was like your annoying brother after all. “You didn’t deny that he was your boyfriend.”

“He isn’t.” You mumble, still not looking up from your phone.

“Is something wrong?” Eunseok asks, and you can easily tell that he’s really concerned. But you just cannot force yourself to tell him that something is bothering you because you know he’ll wanna help. And this just wasn’t a matter that you needed nor wanted him to help you with.

“No, just kinda tired.” You begin to say but sungchan talks over you and asks a question that makes your heart drop.

“Is this about the kiss with Anton?” He pipes up randomly.

“You kissed?” Eunseok takes turns questioning you, and just when you’re about to answer him Sungchan once again speaks over you. “Yeah, but they were both high so it doesn’t really count.”

“High?” This time he’s jumping out of his seat.

By now your heart is beating loud enough to hear, there’s no way to talk yourself out of this so you don’t even try. Only preparing yourself for what’s to come.

“You were high?”

“Before you start, just know that I’m sorry and I already made the decision to never do it again.”

“Wait, don't be too hard on her, I’m the one who gave them the brownies.” Sungchan butts in an attempt to protect you. “I’ll deal with you later.” Your brother points to him, and turns his attention back on you.

“Why did you do it in the first place? I told you to stay away from drugs.” He begins raising his voice at you. That might have been when you started crying, you think. But it’s still unclear, because all you could think about was how shitty you felt to have disappointed him.

“This isn’t a game Y/n that stuff is bad, what will you do when you get to College and everyone around you is doing it? Are you gonna do it too?” He continues to shout,

“No, I told you I wasn’t ever gonna touch it again.” You cry,

“How am I supposed to believe that? You’re not giving me any reason to trust you.”

The words he spit out of his mouth were like small but extremely sharp swords. Piercing into your heart all at once, you don’t even have the strength in your voice to speak anymore, so your next sentence comes out shaky and a little squeaky. “Did you ever trust me?”

“Why would I?” That’s the very last sword to impale your beating muscle, you can imagine that air was just ripped out of your lungs. Leaving you to suffocate alone. If there was one thing you hated in the whole world it was being scolded by your older brother.

Simply because you weren’t used to getting yelled at by anyone else. Your mom was always very soft spoken, and your dad died before you ever got the chance to really disappoint him. So that left Eunseok, he didn’t shout at you often. But when he did, it hurt.

Anton’s the one person you went to every time you felt like this, so it was a no brainer that that’s where you’d end up now.

When you knock on his door still in your pajamas and cheeks stained with tears, he doesn’t even question you. Only holding his arms out for you to claim your spot close to his chest so he could embrace you with the warm and endearing hug that you needed most.

“He’s just looking out for you.” He speaks tenderly, once you finally calmed yourself down enough to explain everything. You always liked how soft his voice was, it was the very thing that made you wanna befriend him in the first place. Even though you made fun of him for it all the time, it was times like these when you really appreciated it.

“I just hate that I disappointed him, now he’ll never trust me.” You continue to sob into his chest.

He lets you cry for another 40 minutes until you fall asleep with your face flat against his chest. Your cheeks are still damp and a bit puffy but even now he finds himself struggling to pull his eyes away from you.

Unfortunately he’s forced to when there’s a knock at the front door, and Anton has to slide himself from under you so you don’t wake up. He knows exactly who’s on the other side of the door but he opens it anyway.

“Is Y/n here?” eunseok asks, already knowing the answer. You wouldn’t go anywhere else.

“No. why, did something happen?” Anton masks his lies with faux concern. “We just got into an argument kind of. I just wanna make sure she’s okay.” Eunseok continues.

Anton looks back at your sleeping figure and faces Eunseok. Feeling no need to hold up the lie he says, “Yeah, she’s fine.”

“Thank you… for taking care of her.”

“Of course.”

Anton closes the door when Eunseok walks away. He watches you for some short moments before leaving to go find a blanket to drape over you just in case you were feeling chilly in your sleep. And sitting on the couch beside you so you didn’t have to be alone.

Anyone with a sibling would know that arguments don’t last for long. But this one did, you knew what you did was wrong but you also don’t want to apologize. So you just pretend like he doesn’t exist for the following week.

He tried nonstop for the first two days but gave up after you just stared directly in his face without a word when he offered you the keys to his car, and unlimited access for the rest of the summer.

“What do you wanna watch?” Anton asks with one hand navigating the laptop and the other playing through your hair. Your body is pressed close against his, so much so you can hear his heartbeat. And he can feel the vibrations of your voice when you hum “I don’t know, you can choose.”

“How about a cartoon?” He scrolls his pointer down to Tom and jerry.

“Not that one.” You mutter when it begins to play.

“Okay, what about the incredibles?” He asks

“I don’t like the incredibles.” you speak into his chest.

“Mickey mouse?”

“We’re not children, Anton.”

“Well, what do you wanna watch?” he shifts his body to look down at you, his frustration growing when you look back up at him. “I don’t know, but I don’t wanna watch that.”

“You don’t wanna watch anything.” He huffs.

“Just choose something good.” Both of you are bickering with each other but keeping your positions, his hand is still tangled in your hair, and you're still face to chest with him. You look up in sync when Eunseok passes by your room to get to his own, however he doesn’t make it to his room yet because he stopped to watch the two of you bicker.

If he didn’t know any better he’d think that the both of you were dating. Funny thing is, he really didn’t know any better. So he stood there in shock staring at you two together holding a half sandwich right in front of his mouth.

“What are you looking at?” You spit, after a small moment of awkward silence.

As soon as the words leave your mouth you realize exactly what he’s looking at, because you look up at Anton and jump away a second later. Not noticing how it looked from a different point of view.

Eunseok walks away immediately with a small chuckle, because although he didn’t understand what was going on you at least acknowledged his existence and talked to him, so that was an improvement.

Your relationship with your brother was still taking baby steps to recovery, but your relationship with your best friend couldn’t get any better. If you weren’t sitting right besides him, you were texting him, if you weren’t texting him, you were calling him.

You made the deal to make this summer count, just in case you grew apart from each other but with the way things were going you highly doubted that anything would break you apart now.

You threw your head back on your bed, staring at your phone with your arms held out over top of your face. You smile never wavering as you type away messages to Anton. First you send the word “hello” 8 individual times in separate messages until he responds, you wanna make sure that you have his attention first.

But when he doesn’t respond or even open the messages, you let the anticipation get the best of you and just call him, so you can at least hear his reaction when you tell him the news that has you busting at the seams with excitement.

Yet, something about hearing the phone ring over and over again slowly kills the excitement in you. Your smile is still present, it’s just smaller now.

Anton always answered his phone for you, even during the cello lessons that his dad used to make him take after school. So this is something new to you, and you’re not sure how to really feel about it.

The only thing you can think to do is just go to his house and see him in person. At Least this way you could see his reaction face to face and even hang out for a little. That’s what you choose to do, throwing your legs over your bed to rush to his front door.

“Hey, guess wha-” You start the second the door opens but stop when you see that the person who opened the door wasn’t Anton. In fact, you don’t know who this is, you’ve never seen her before.

“Hi?” The girl pipes up, smiling at you. You try to force yourself to mirror her smile, it lasts almost as long as a blink but with all the thoughts running through your head you end up just blurting out. “Who are you?”

“I’m Anton’s friend.” She holds her hand out to you. “Nice to meet you.” She smiles.

You feel your heart sink into your chest, the longer you look at her. It was happening already, and summer isn’t even over yet. you thought things were looking up, but it’s just the beginning of the end.

You wanna ask, “Are you sure?” because Anton's never mentioned her before, but you hold your tongue and simply ask “Is he here?” and she responds with “Yeah, I’ll get him for you.”

You wait for less than a minute before Anton comes to the door, you hadn’t thought about what you were going to say when you did see him. So now you’re stumbling over your words trying to find out what question you wanna ask first.

“I just came because you didn’t answer your phone, but I guess you have a date so that would explain everything.” you mutter

“It's not a date, she just came over to play games.”

“sounds fun.”

“you’re not mad.. right?”

“I'm just a little disappointed that you didn’t tell me. but she’s really pretty I hope you guys have fun.”

“why do you even care? we’re just friends.” he asks when get ready to turn your back.

“Just fr- the rest of the words can’t even leave your mouth, just caught in your throat as tears begin to swarm your waterline. “Clearly we don’t feel the same way, so I’ll just go.”

“Feel the same way?” he repeats “about what? there’s nothing to feel.” That's what does it, knocks the wind right out of your lungs.

“nothing. nothing, Anton bye.” you hurry and walk away before he could see you cry. the conversation reminds you of the stupid high school that you used to avoid. clinging onto Anton because you always thought he was far too sweet to ever treat you or anyone like that. but you were wrong, you were terribly wrong, and it makes you physically ill.

Crying for the third time this summer, barging into the house past Eunseok and running into your room. This might actually be your first heartbreak, and it’s funny to think that your best friend would be the one to give it to you.

“knock knock.” Eunseok knocks on the bedroom door that you forgot to close. Usually he’d wait for your permission to enter but this time he just walks right in and takes a spot on the edge of your bed.

“go away.” you sob into your pillow.

He continues to speak, not caring about your protests. “I know you don’t wanna talk to me right now. but I want you to know that I'll always be here for you. and no matter what i’ll always look out for you.”

“I don't need you to look out for me.”

He doesn’t say anything else because he knows it’s only a matter of time before you open up to him about what’s going on.

he thought right, it takes not even 4 seconds for you to sit up and look at him with glossy eyes. “we’re just friends, not best friends, not even close friends. just friends.” you hiccup in between words.

When eunseok doesn’t say anything you keep talking.

"He was hanging out with this girl; I've never met her before. Well, I mean he’s never told me about her, and she’s really pretty. He probably thinks she’s prettier than me.”

“you’re crying because he was hanging out with a girl?” Eunseok recaps and you roll your eyes.

“You don’t get it, no one gets it.” Not even you. You couldn’t explain to him what’s wrong if you wanted to, because you actually had no clue. All you knew was that you saw him with another girl, and it hurt. It hurt a lot.

“Then explain it to me.” Your brother looks at you, really trying to understand so he could find a way to make you feel better. When you go completely silent, he blurts out another question.

“Do you like him?”

Now you get it, now it all makes sense. You don’t wanna admit it aloud, but you know the truth. You’ve stopped crying but your voice is still weak and raspy when you say. “We’re just friends.” Repeating Anton's exact words.

It wasn’t easy ignoring Anton, not because you were struggling to stay away from him but because he made it hard to pretend like he never existed. Blowing up your phone with phone calls or text messages and popping up at your front door occasionally so you’d be forced to see his face.

You’ve moved on from being mad about whatever it was that you were mad about in the first place, to being mad about the fact that he didn’t share the same feelings you had.

This was all his fault anyways, because if it wasn't for his dumb stupid face and his annoying soft voice you would’ve never fallen for him in the first place. You were actually pretty good at keeping your emotions controlled… well more less. But this was still his fault, and you weren’t taking any responsibility.

1:15 Brachio: Wanna go skating today?

1:22 Brachio: hey??

1:37 Brachio: did I do something wrong?”

You scoff at the last message; he really had the audacity to ask if he did something wrong. Even if you didn’t fully know the reason you were mad, he should’ve definitely known.

4:49 Brachio: Hello?

4:49 Brachio: I’m sorry, please talk to me.

4:49 Brachio: this isn’t fun I’m getting flashbacks.

4:50 Brachio: I’ll bake you a cake.

4:50 Brachio: I’ll do anything.

5: 10 Brachio: wow so you hate me.

6:20 You: I do, leave me alone.

6:20 Brachio: Oh, sorry,

6:29 Brachio: Are you still mad?

You leave your phone faced up and watch his name flash more and more from the corner of your room. Trying to think of anything else to distract you from the conversation Anton was having with himself in your messages.

“What are you doing out here?” Sungchan looks down at Anton cropped down in front of your door. “Waiting or Y/n” he responds.

“Oh I’ll get her for you.” He turns.

“No! She’s not gonna come out if you tell her I’m here. I’ll just wait.”

“Is this like a game?... or”

“She came over 2 weeks ago, and we had a small argument about… actually I don’t know what it was about. I just know that it upset her that I had one of my friends over.”

“Interesting, interesting and was this friend a girl?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you find her physically attractive?”

“No, I’ve never really looked at her like that.”

“Interesting.” sungchan taps his chin 3 times for cinematic effect. “Seems to me like Y/n might have a little crush on you.”

“On me? She couldn’t possi- oh~” he comes to the realization mid sentence. “What is Anton gonna do with this new found information?” Sungchan begins to speak in his version of a British accent.

“There’s nothing I can do, She won’t talk to me. It’s been weeks.” Anton looks up to sungchan.

“If there is a will. There will be a way.” Sungchan speaks with his finger in the air as if he was some inspirational character from a children's book. “Okay…” Anton mutters.

“Sungchan says! We shall make it rain.”

“Make it rain?” Anton questions

“Make it rain.” Sungchan heroically yells.

“Make it rain?” Anton asks again.

Since summer was coming down to an end, you figured there was no other time to start packing but now. The first thing you decided to start with was the abundance of posters on your walls. It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. Maybe you needed a little change in your life, and growing up wasn’t all that bad.

“I never thought I’d see this room all packed up.” Eunseok says as he walks through your bedroom door.

“I haven’t even started yet.” You laugh.

“You start school in a few weeks. How do you feel?”

“I’m actually kind of excited, maybe it’s time for me to make new friends.”

“Are you at least gonna talk to him before you go?”

“He’ll be fine, he has someone to keep him company.” you don’t even take the time to look at your brother when you speak. Focusing on carefully taking down your wall art without ripping any of them.

“I’m sure he’d still like to talk to you.”

“I don’t care.’ You say bluntly.

“Maybe you should.” You only turn to look at him when he’s gone. Leaving you alone with nothing but your crowded walls and crowded thoughts to match. Going away for college meant you might not ever talk to Anton again. Well, you were probably gonna see him around campus or something, sure. But you won’t be friends like you used to. He’ll go off to build his new group of people and so will you.

Maybe this friendship wasn’t so strong after all.

The splashing water against your window is enough to pull you out of your thoughts. You guess that it’s rain at first, so you open your window to observe the sky but see that it’s completely bright and clear.

“What the heck?” You say aloud to yourself trying to observe where the sprinkles of water were coming from.

Then you see Anton standing right below you, drenched in water and Sungchan holding the water hose from the bushes. “These idiots.” You mutter under your breath.

“Y/n someone's here for you.” Eunseok yells from the stairs. Making sure to leave out Anton’s name because he knew you wouldn’t leave your room if he did mention him.

Anton doesn’t give you the chance to speak before he starts to recite the note he had in his hands. The note was just as wet as he was and the ink had already begun washing off the paper, but he continued to read anyways.

“I. am. Very. sorry. For-” not caring to hear the rest of what he has to say you snatch the damped paper out of his hand and rip it up in front of him. Then throwing the pieces back in his face before you slam the door and leave him to talk to himself.

“I didn’t need that.” He murmurs through the barrier between you two.

“Remember you pinky promised me that we’d always be friends. You can’t break it now, we never break our pinky promises.” He speaks on the other side of the door since you weren’t gonna speak to him face to face.

“For the love of god Anton, go away-” You yell at him when you open your front door, and within a blink of an eye his lips are on yours and his hands are on each side of your face. He’d pulled you far enough out of your house to get drenched in the water that Sungchan was spraying.

You break the kiss first, with a harsh slap on his cheek. “Why did you do that?” You shout.

“That’s what they do in the movies whenever they confess their feelings. I thought it would work.” he explains, holding his cheek,

“You like me?”

“Am i gonna get slapped again if I say yes?”

You don’t have anything else to say, so you pull him down to you by the collar of his shirt and kiss him once again. Before whispering “I like you too.” against his lips

“So you’re not mad at me anymore?”

“I still haven’t gotten a cake yet.” is your response to his question, but you both knew that you were far from mad at him.

You guys shared over 234 pinky promises in the time span that you had been friends. And all of them remained unbroken, except for one.

232 notes · View notes

blvckswxnji · 10 months

Text

Can’t Get Enough of The Wrong Thing | P2

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-xxxxx-

Pairings: [Hobie Brown x (f) Reader]

Genre: messy romance, smidge of toxicity, relationship conflicts, exes to lovers (?), (18+)

Warnings: conflicted feelings, slight jealousy, angst, strong language, smut

Summary: You and Hobie are once again confronted by the conditions of your relationship after last nights events. (Backstory is included)

A certain someone also reaches out to you, much to your surprise…

Word Count: 4.9k

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You’re welcomed back to a state of consciousness by the warm sunlight peeking through the black curtains in the room. You don’t move immediately, body still heavy and your mind foggy of morning haze.

The first thing you sense is the weight resting around your waist, then soft breathing tickling your neck. You eventually take in the form pressed up against your back, heat radiating off of it and onto yours. Lifting up your head, you turn to be met with a soft sight of Hobie. Snugging into you, the sun hits his face at an angle that brings out his already beautiful features as his torso moves in tandem with his soft breaths.

You also notice the lack of clothing he bared, which starkly reminded you of how bare you were under the sheets. Your cheeks flushed a bit as you reminisced on the events from yesterday. After what happened in the restroom, Hobie didn’t even bother letting the others know of your departure from the joint you guys attended. Being him, he had opened a portal that led straight to his apartment where things had gotten more heated from there. You kind of feel bad, but you aren’t sure if you entirely regret it.

You can’t help but lay your head back onto the soft pillow you slept on, shimmying your back even further into Hobie’s embrace. It’s times like this you wish your relationship was much more than this. Much more meaningful than back and forth hookups and the subtle regret that lingers in your gut when it’s over.

See, the thing about Hobie’s that he’s a complicated individual, especially when it comes to a relationship. You’ve unfortunately learned the hard way by experiencing it first hand.

When you first met him, you fell head over heels for him as cliché as that is. You were infatuated with everything about him, the way he talked, walked and the way he presented himself. He just didn’t really give a fuck (and maybe that was a warning from the beginning) but you loved that about him. You liked that you could be free and do anything you wanted around him. The affection he placed upon you was so addicting including the nights when it went beyond just cuddles and soft pecks. You were addicted to it all.

Overtime, you had grown feelings for the man. It seemed he had reciprocated a mutual attraction towards you as well, as you two rarely were apart as your relationship grew. You were just waiting for the moment where he would make it official.

But… it never came.

You waited and waited weeks— months for him to announce the solidification of your relationship, but you were left to just sit in the dark.

Then, one day, you’d decided to grow a pair and just project everything you had been feeling for the past couple of months you guys were together.

-x-

There you were laying on his lap, on his bed, just relaxing to the soft buzz of some 90’s band you didn’t really know in the background. “Hobie…?”

“Hm?” He hummed as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“I— uh, I’ve been thinking, um…” You stuttered, nerves running through you a million miles a second. He glances down at you, a silent encouragement to get it out.

You gulp. “Well, uh, I was hoping you know this whole thing going on between us… that ya’ know, we could make it official…?” Your whole body tensed as you struggled to get the words out and it’s not long before you feel him tense under you.

The hand tangled in your soft hair slowing to a stop. You look at him, worry overtaking your features. Shit, why’d you bring it up?

“Uhh, whaddya’ mean by that love?” He asks as he inhaled a low breath. It was obvious he knew what you meant but didn’t seem to want you to mention it in the first place, which was odd to you.

You slowly sit up to properly face him. His hand drops from your hair and you instantly miss the warmth it brought you prior moments ago. “You know, like being boyfriend and girlfriend, solidifying what we have?” You look him straight in his eyes, confused on the sudden hesitation radiating off of his aura.

He averts his gaze and you feel your heart about to plummet. The overwhelming silence suffocating your lungs.

He lets out a deep breath before finally speaking.

“Listen y/n,” your chest constricting as you listen for his every word, “I don’t wanna hurt you or anythin’, but Ima’ be honest, all of that you just threw at me… I don’t think I’m really for it ya’ know? Like the labels and all that.”

All that?

Your breathing ceases for a moment. He reluctantly looks at you for a reaction. After a few beats you finally answer him.

“Oh well um, I mean… we don’t have to label it, that’s totally okay with me, but don’t you think we should take this to the next level. Like, take each other more seriously?” Your palms are sweating, fearing the outcome you dreaded the most becoming a result from this conversation. You bit your lip in worried anticipation.

You can’t really make out what he’s thinking although, you can tell he’s conflicted with his next choice of words. “Don’t you think we’re good with what we’ve got ‘ere though?” He questioned. At this point you felt your heart rate pick up, but you were able to keep your composure.

Why is he acting as if this isn’t important to him as much as it is to you?

You let out a huff. “Hobie, are you serious right now? Of course I think we’re good, that’s why I want to build more on our relationship.” You were beginning to get a bit frustrated but still remained somewhat calm. “What’s up with you? Did I make you uncomfortable with what I said?” You couldn’t help but practically vomit your concerns to him. You were having an internal panic.

“No love, it’s not that it’s just, I don’t know if I’ll be capable of giving that you… everythin’ you’re askin’ for.” He’s almost nonchalant about it and it internally set you off. You don’t say anything to him. Baffled isn’t even enough to explain the way you were feeling in this very moment.

Hobie notices this and reaches for your hand. It’s warm, a stark contrast to the atmosphere you’ve accidentally created in his room. You don’t grab him back though. Your body unable to move.

“Wait so, are you saying you don’t want to be with me for long? I’m just a temporary bitch— you’ll what, just fuck and be done with after a couple of months?” You shrug your shoulders as you accuse him, tilting your head in question. You couldn’t help but emotion over take your words. You didn’t mean to burst them out, but you weren’t expecting him to respond like this. It seems to catch him off guard as he loosens his grip on your hand, now appearing to get irritated with this.

“Now you know that’s not what I see you as, so cut the crap would ya’? I’m just sayin’, I won’t be able to give you what you want alright?! I’m sorry.”

“But why Hobie, I thought we were good.” Your face scrunching up in confusion.

He takes a deep breath. “Because y/n, I just can’t, not now. And I don’t know when either so please, just knock it already yeah?” He looks at you with an expression you can’t really decipher.

Several beats of silence had passed, not another word spoken between the two of you. The truth was you both didn’t know what to say after that.

Exhausted, you inhaled slowly and positioned yourself to get up from his bed.

“Where are you goin’ y/n.”

“I’m going home.” You say flatly.

“Why? There’s no need—”

“There’s every need Hobie, don’t you see? I can’t do this right now.” You curse your voice for cracking.

“Don’t tell me you’re leavin’ over this y/n,” he gestures between the two of you in exasperation, “leavin’ me?”

“Listen I just need to be alone for a bit, I’ll call you in the morning I guess.” And with that you had left him to gape at the space in which your presence just was prior moments ago, as you had traveled back to your dimension to cry yourself away.

To make the long story short, a few days had passed with no mention of the fallout with you and Hobie. Instead of calling him the following day, you had been caught up in missions being assigned to you from Miguel. You were honestly quite grateful you were being kept busy as it excused you from the mess you had created with the man you had fallen for. A few of the missions did involve his assistance though and you both couldn’t deny the tense atmosphere whenever you were around each other.

So, after one particular day, you decided you needed to have a talk with Hobie. You just needed to. You felt as if you both were striving for different goals with your relationship and you were spiraling as the days went on.

Opening up a portal to his apartment you saw him sprawled out on the couch, tweaking at the strings of his guitar. His eyes slowly lift at your sudden presence.

“Look at what we have ‘ere, you finally talkin’ to me?” He leans his body back on the couch as he sets the guitar aside. He surprisingly doesn’t seem smug, more or so surprised you were back. He swore you wouldn’t talk to him for another week but here you were.

“We need to talk.”

“All ears love.” You internally wince at the nickname as you weren’t sure how to feel about it anymore. Maybe it was the overthinking, but you hate the way it’s making you feel due to everything that’s happened.

You inhale a deep breath still standing on your two legs. “I think we should take a break, just to figure things out with ourselves ya’ know…” It’s hard to maintain eye contact with him as you felt his eyes piercing into you with pure confusion and emotion.

“What, is- is this a joke y/n? I don’t understand?” He was genuinely thrown by what you had said. He gets up to stand and make his way towards you and you let him. You stay stood in your place as he approaches you, hints of worry and upset in his features. “A fuckin’ break? Are you serious?”

“Yes I am,” you look up at him as he stops in front of you, height inches over yours, “it’s what’s best… for the both of us Hobie—”

“No, you think it’s what’s best, you don’t know anythin’! We can’t, we don’t have to.” He pleads. You’ve never seen him like this before and you won’t lie, it caught you by surprise, but you’ve already made your mind.

“We do. I know you don’t think so but please just listen to me,” you felt as if your throat was closing up, “we can use this time to reflect. Hobie trust me, this is as hard for me as it is for you.”

“Oh is that so, is it really?” He questioned.

“Of fucking course it is Hobie! You don’t think I care about you? That’s the only reason I’m asking you to do this!” You burst out. You couldn’t hold it in any longer. Hot tears running down your face reflecting the heavy emotion tolling on your mind.

You feel a hand firmly grasp the side of your face. Through your blurry vision you see Hobie moving closer to you. He brings his forehead to yours as you lean into his touch, missing it so much. You both stay like that for a bit before Hobie breaks the silence after a while. For him, he has seemed to catch the way this all is affecting you and he can’t help but give way to your request after much consideration. No matter how much it pained him to.

“You promise… you promise to come back to me before too long love?” His breathing is heavy. You nod slowly as you look up into his eyes. Him looking down back down at you.

Before you could think of what you were doing, you had leaned up to kiss him. He immediately responded back with just as much, if not more passion. It felt so good. His lips were so warm, his lip ring tickling your bottom lip. The longer it went on, the more heated it became. You had wrapped your arms around his neck as one of his hands began to venture lower down your body.

“May this be a memorable parting to you my love.”

-x-

After that, it was around 2 or 3 months before anything had happened again between you guys. Everything was going good, you were beginning to focus on yourself, and you were grateful to Hobie for acting as casual as he could be to make it less awkward when you two were in the same room. Of course looks would linger here and there but you did your best to control yourself.

As much as you wanted to separate and reflect on the break you had initiated, you have to admit, you didn’t really think about the more intimate aspects you would be depraved of during this time.

You were genuinely alright for the first couple of weeks, just using your hand or one of your few gadgets when you had the time. But over time, you began to crave what you couldn’t have more and more. That being more on your own conditions you had set for yourself. You weren’t allowed to fold. You will admit your feelings for Hobie went beyond just the physical and sexual aspects, but you couldn’t deny it when the topic arose in your times of need.

The same seemed to be said for Hobie as after a while, he became a bit smug with his stolen glances and slightly more touchy when passing by each other at HQ or on missions. You tried denying the way it made you feel as you knew this wasn’t what you both were supposed to be doing but, you couldn’t help yourself. So much so, it had reached a boiling point.

Let’s just say after finishing an assigned mission you both were tasked to do, sneaky touches and glances became all too much for the both of you and by the end of the night you couldn’t feel your lower body.

As a result of this, you both decided on these types of hookups to occur only once in a while. No feelings to be involved as you were both still on a break. (Well… kinda.) Although these “sessions” had become more and more frequent over time, the line between casual hookups and falling for each other all over again became a blur. Much to your dismay.

Now here you are, with said man in his sheets.

Crazy how life works.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the figure shifting behind you and an arm tightening it’s grip around your waist. You hear a deep groan and feel a soft breath graze your ear as you hear Hobie awaken from his slumber.

You hum softly as you lay on your back to face him better. His hair is tousled and his face slightly puffy. “Good morning.”

“Mm, mornin’ babe.” He mumbles as he snuggles into your shoulder to lay soft kisses into the surface. He looks up at you with tired eyes before groggily positioning himself to sit up and lean on his elbow, head in his hand. He comes closer to place a kiss on your lips in which you calmly return. “How d’you feel?” He asks as his other hand drags slowly across your stomach.

“I’m alright, you?”

“I’m doing absolutely fantastic love. Last night was pretty eventful wasn’t it?” He teased as he went to kiss your neck.

You playfully push him away as an attempt to preserve your sanity. “Alright Hobie, haven’t you’ve had enough?” Perplexed at how he’s still riled up.

“Never.” He whispers in your ear as he further continues to attack you neck. Shivers travel down your spine at the response but before you could indulge in his touches once more, you hear a ding come from your phone on the dresser beside the bed.

“Hold on Hobie, someone’s texting me.” You push him off of you as a deep groan is released from his chest. He sighs in defeat as you reach over for the device. As you do, the covers concealing the upper half of your body slip down to rest just under your breasts. Hobie smirks to himself at the bruises that are littered on your skin, and decided on teasing you later after you were done with what you were doing.

You presume it’s one of the spiders just calling to check on you since you practically ditched them yesterday. Although you’re a bit confused when the number comes up as one you hadn’t saved in your contacts. Furrowing your brows, you open up the notification to read the message sent.

11:42 pm: Hey this is Colin from the joint! Your friend gave me your number, I just wanted to check in and see if you were ok.

11:42 pm: It’d be nice to see you again if you’re still interested in getting to know each other. In the meantime get home safe and gn!

You stare at the texts, bewildered Colin even tried to reach out, let alone get your number. This was definitely Pav’s annoying ass. Ooh, when you see him—

“Who is it?” You accidentally jump, startled at the sudden voice. You instantly hug the phone to your chest not wanting Hobie to see it.

“Oh, uh, nothing, just a wrong number…” you tried to tell him, but he was already finding you suspicious with the way you hid the phone screen.

He titled his head in question. “Mind if I see?”

“Nah it’s fine, just some rando—”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence before he was reaching over and snatching the phone out of your hand.

You opened your mouth to speak but then closed it as he was already scanning the messages on your phone. You looked at his face to see his reaction and was surprised to see utter amusement etched on his face.

He turned to you after he finished reading them, your phone still in his hand as he smirked before speaking.

“You gonna text him back?”

“Huh?” You were a bit caught of guard.

“Colin, seems he fancies you, you interested in ‘im?”

“Depends. Would it upset you if I were?”

He huffs out a laugh before leaning down to your ear.

“Sweetheart, if you were, you sure as hell wouldn’t be naked in my sheets now would ya’?” He whispers, as pulls back just enough to scan the outline of your nude form.

Goosebumps arise on your skin as your breathing quickens. The tension becomes thicker, and Hobie moves in to kiss the side of your jaw. Your eyes flutter shut as he begins to move down. From your jaw, to your shoulder, then to your collarbone and then your chest. Your eyes flutter shut at the feeling and you can’t help but lift your hand to grasp the nape of his neck, and then up to his hair.

“I guess not.” You say, swallowing your pride as he technically did have a point. You feel his lips morph into a smirk against your breasts before he places his mouth on one of your nipples. You let out a soft moan. Then all of a sudden, Hobie abruptly stopped. You open your eyes to see him looking at your phone, which you forgot he still had.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Would be pretty rude to keep him waiting wouldn’t it?” The look in his eyes are mischievous and it makes you gulp as he types in your passcode.

“Wait, how the hell do you know my password?” You were genuinely confused as you don’t recall ever sharing it with him.

“Don’t worry about it love, don’t try changing it either, I’ll just figure it out again.” He dismisses it at that.

Of fucking course he would.

“You mind holdin’ this f’me?” He gestures to your phone.

“Hobie, you’re not—”

“Yes love, I very much am, now do it.” He cuts you off offensively. It took everything within you to not tell him off for that, but you decided on just letting him be because arguing would be useless.

“Yup, face the camera towards me, hold it right there. On my go alright?” He said as he positioned himself on top of you and between your knees.

“Uhh, okay…” You were kind of nervous as you weren’t exactly sure what he was trying to send. Yet, it wasn’t long until you would find out what he had in mind as he instructed you to press play on the recording.

You reluctantly complied as your finger tapped the red circle and the timer at the top of the screen was activated. Hobie immediately began getting to work.

The covers covering the lower half of you were slowly being retracted from your body. As more skin became exposed, Hobie trailed his kisses down your front until he reached below your navel. There, he pecked soft kisses until he reached your mound. Careful to cover you with his hand so you weren’t exposed to the camera. The soft flesh between your legs was for his eyes only.

You were breathing heavier breaths as he finally got to where you wanted him the most. You felt his cold lip ring graze your clit and at that, you let out a deep moan. Still you kept a reasonable grip on your phone as you felt yourself already begin to weaken.

Hobie had looked up. At you or the camera? You weren’t exactly sure, but what you were sure of was the lust behind his brown irises.

The next thing you felt was his warm and wet tongue licking the inside of your walls. The contrast of your warm folds and his cold tongue piercing driving you insane. Your free hand immediately reaches out for his locks for leverage before his tongue grazes your bud once again. “Shit Hobie!” You moan, your back arching slightly as you became needier by the second.

He wraps his arms around both of your thighs, making direct eye contact with you before spitting saliva on your cunt, and spreading it all over with his tongue. You dropped your head onto the pillow, your hand becoming shaky at the sheer pleasure you were being succumbed to.

Hobie focused on your clit, sucking and licking in all the right places. After a few minutes, you felt yourself getting closer to an orgasm and Hobie noticing this, added his fingers inside of you to bring you closer to release. It took everything in you to keep the camera focused on him, but you were really struggling.

Eventually with the fast pace of his fingers,and the delicious skill of his tongue, you finally come undone. Your pretty moans were music to Hobie’s ears and he let you ride it out until you were finished.

Calming down, you pressed the stop button on the recording, and Hobie quickly took the phone out of your hands after licking up your juices.

He moves up to hover over you and you see him typing something on your phone and then hit send with a smirk on his face.

“What’d you write?” You ask, knowing he wrote some stupid shit. He doesn’t say anything, just turns the phone to show you what he sent. Your mouth hangs slightly agape.

9:48 am: *video attachment*

9:48 am: she’s busy rn mate, but she’ll let you know ;)

“Hobie you did not…!” You didn’t know whether to feel embarrassed or turned on by his text.

“I did.” He says, as he tosses your phone to the side and out of reach from you.

“Wait, I kind of… feel bad, he was a nice guy. I mean, what’s he even supposed to say to that?” No matter how hot that stunt was, you at least had some sympathy for the poor guy.

“Hmm, it’s a bloody shame you’ll never know. I blocked his number.” He tilted his head teasingly.

“You’re a real asshole you know that?”

“And you love it.” His eyes became a shade darker as he leaned in to capture your lips with his. The kiss quickly becomes a heated make out session, him groping your body and you tangling your fingers in his hair. After a little while, you both separated to breathe. A string of your mixed saliva connecting your lips.

Hobie’s eyes were hooded with lust and emotion as he looked at you. “You think you ready to take me babe?”

“Yes Hobie, please I need you.” Dare you say, you were completely desperate for him. You don’t know what it was, he was just so alluring.

You didn’t have to tell him twice as you felt his tip prod at your entrance. He teased you at first, just sliding it up and down your folds, but he eventually sank in.

You moaned at the stretch, wrapping your arms around his neck to bring him closer to you again.

“Shit, your so warm, you feel so good.” You blush at the praise. When he finally bottoms out, he begins moving his hips, starting his thrusts. The faster he went, the more moans he was continuously pulling out of you.

“Fuck Hobie, oh my god!” You moaned extra loud as he hit your sweet spot with on particular thrust.

“Right there baby?” He made eye contact with you, breathing heavily as he continued to aim exactly at that spot. Your back arched off of the bed as your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

“Fuck yes, shit!” Oh you knew for a fact Hobie’s neighbors were tired of you guys’ bullshit. The walls aren’t that thick to begin with and you were certain you would get a noise complaint later throughout the day. Yet you or him couldn’t give less of a fuck.

“Mhm feels good?” He mocked you as you were practically a mess on his dick. It only further aroused you and you started to feel a knot forming in your lower abdomen. You feel him peck your lips before coming to a stop.

You whine at the loss of movement. Hobie sits up to kneel on the bed with him still inside you. Your confused as to what he’s doing, but the thought quickly washes away as he suddenly grabs your hips and angles them upward so your hips are now in the air.

He begins his thrusts again and you feel as if you’ve choked on air. At this new angle, he flawlessly hits your g-spot directly making you see stars. With your head still on the pillow, you reach one of your arms behind you to grip it behind your head, as the other goes to grab one of Hobie’s arms. Everything becoming so overwhelming at once.

“Fuck you look so beautiful love.” He comments as he continues to abuse your cunt.

“Shit Hobie, I don’t think I’m gonna last much longer.” You pant out as you feel your body coat in a thin layer of sweat.

With that, he speeds up his thrusts and you practically scream. You hear him groan as he puts your hips back down and pins them so you can’t move. So you can take everything he’s giving you.

After a few minutes his thrusts become a bit sloppier as you feel the coil in your stomach on the brink of snapping.

“Hobie, I’m gonna come, fuck!” You yell.

“I’m right behind you love. Let it all go.” He whispers as he stuffs his face in your neck. And you do as euphoric bliss racks your whole body. You clench hard around Hobie. That seemed to finally tip him over the edge as you felt warm ropes of liquid fill you up. The feeling was addicting.

As you both finally come down from your highs, Hobie moves his head to kiss you on the lips. He then pulls out and moves to his side to cuddle you. This time you were facing each other.

A comfortable silence had passed for a couple of minutes as you both rested, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Hobie?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve really missed you.”

There was a slight pause at first. Until you heard his voice. “Same here.”

Silence follows as you both lay there.

“You think the both of us will work this out?” You look up at him.

“I’d be damned if we didn’t give it another try.” He says breathily. Realizing how much he’s truly missed during the time you weren’t really together. He stares back at you with so much emotion.

“Hobie?”

“Yes y/n?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too y/n.”

You lean in to kiss him with nothing more than pure affection and passion. The kiss is tender, reflecting the warm feelings you both share for one another.

No matter how wrong this had all felt in the beginning with him, you had no doubt this right here, was finally right.

And you would never have enough of it.

————————————————————————

I really hope this isn’t shit lmao I was really busting my ass to get this done. Hope y’all enjoyed the fic and if y’all want you can send requests bc I’m kind of out of ideas to write.

Taglist:

@urmotherswhor3 @xxmadamjinxx @lavnderluv @p4inis @fairy-corno @lapisseal (lavnderluv your late bday gift lol)

#atsv #hobie brown #hobie brown x reader #atsv smut #hobie brown x reader smut #fiction #hobie brown smut #atsv fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #atsv x reader #astv imagines

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loveforaugust · 1 year

Text

my sister’s wedding / j. seresin

pairing: jake seresin x reader, best friend!reader x bradley bradshaw, bradley bradshaw x oc

summary: while you love your sister’s new husband bradley, you most certainly do not love his mouth but good looking co worker

“I truly never thought I’d see me sister this happy until she met Bradley,” you were finishing off your maid of honor speech, laughing into the microphone. “They complete each other, if Sarah said she wanted to moon, Brad would do anything to get her the moon. Sarah traveled the world with him, seeing Japan, Florida, and sunny California. If anything proves true love, it’s these two. There’s no one I’d be happier to have as a brother, welcome to the family, Brad. And congratulations to you both!”

Bradley and Sarah gave you a hug, you laughed as Sarah had tears down her face. “Better take care of your wife, Bradshaw.” You teased, rubbing her back gently. You wandered over to the bar, swaying slightly as you waited in the long line.

“Beautiful speech up there,” the guy behind you spoke up. You smiled happily turning to meet his bright green eyes. He was taller than you wear, hair gelled into neat strokes. He was wearing a matching blue suit to your dress.

“Thanks! I’m Y/N, bride or groom?”

“Jake, I fly with Bradley.” He shook your hand. “What’re you drinking tonight, Y/N?”

“Strictly champagne for me! I’m on orders to make sure nobody gets plastered and ruins the wedding!”

“Well I’ll be on my best behavior. I’m a known wedding crasher.” He smirks as he orders a champagne for you.

“Ooh please share Lieutenant!” Your eyes lit up as you stared at him.

“I tend to leave a trail of broken hearts at these events. Especially military weddings.” Jake tipped the waiter and you walked towards the dance floor. You laughed at him as he explained one of his buddies weddings that he’d attended last month.

You learned all about his special name (he called it a call sign) and what had earned him that nickname. “In my defense, I’ve gotten better. That was like 10 years ago. I’ve been promoted since then too.”

“You’re something else, Jake.”

“Is that a good thing? Or should I be concerned?” He teased, leaning against the post beside you. You smiled up at him, a warm feeling covering your face.

“I’m still trying to decide myself!”

“Would a dance help you consider?” You laughed and grabbed his outstretched hand, setting down your drinks and allowing him to lead you out to the dance floor. A slow song played, one of the many Sarah and Brad had picked for their playlist.

“You know you’re not too bad of a dancer.”

“So my dancing skills are subpar, I’ve made you laugh like three times, and I’ve got a steady income, what else can a guy like me do to impress you?” He swayed you softly to the music, his hand resting on your waist gently.

“Ah the ultimate question. Real talk, Lieutenant, how often are you gone? Would you like a housewife or a spouse, and how many kids?” You quizzes him, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face.

To be honest, you hadn’t made your mind up about him yet. He was gorgeous and charming, and surprisingly nice but you almost needed to buy yourself more time to decide if you wanted him to break your heart or not.

“I go where the Navy calls, as of right now, we’re holding a permanent station out in Miramar. We haven’t been deployed for any missions besides the one but I believe that’s my new permanent base.” He raised his eye brows at you.

“That’s so convenient. I actually work in San Diego.” You informed him. He smiled at you.

“What do you do?”

“Pediatric doctor, I work in a hospital.”

“Impressive, how’d you decide to do that?”

“Helped me and Sarah through our childhood. She was sick a lot so we were in and out of hospitals. I saw what they did first hand and was just inspired. How about you? How do you wake up one day and just decide to fly a jet?”

“Well, Y/N, I’m a legacy. My dad did it, his dad before him did it and so on and so forth.” You nodded you head, watching him closely. The dimple in his cheek was showing up and he had the whitest teeth you’d ever seen.

“Staring awfully hard, darling, anything you’d like?” He teased, biting back a smirk. You rolled your eyes.

“You’re quite the charmer, Seresin.”

“Have I charmed you into a date yet?” You held up your fingers, signaling how close he was. “Ooh so close, do you need another compliment? Anymore questions I can answer?”

“One last thing: your thoughts on marriage.” You laughed lightly.

Jake looked over at Bradley and Sarah laughing and dancing with each other. “I think once you find your person, there’s nothing more romantic than making that kind of promise.” You smiled up at him, shaking your head.

“You just seem like the perfect man. Hiding any dangerous qualities under there? Or just the normal amount like the rest of us?”

“I’d say the normal amount.”

“Well you’ve persuaded me. Congratulations, are you free next Tuesday?”

“I’ll pick you up at 8.”

#jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin imagine #hangman fanfiction #hangman x you #hangman top gun #hangman x reader #hangman fluff #top gun maverick hangman #top gun rooster #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick #top gun hangman

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major-mads · 3 months

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Chapter 1: Welcome to Thorpe Abbotts

John "Bucky" Egan x Ruth Morgan (OFC)

Series Masterlist

A/N: Ruth has been living in my head for months now, and I'm so so so excited to share her with y'all! This series is Jess (footprintsinthesxnd) and I's brainchild. Our ideas just seamlessly fit tegether, and here we are! We actually wrote this first chapter a week before the 26th, so if anything happens to almost exactly match the show, we came up with it before we saw it on there! (we're just good like that 😎)

Collab: On a Wing and a Prayer by @footprintsinthesxnd

Word Count: 5.3k

The hum of the engine was the only sound in the C-47 as it soared over the English countryside. The patients had finally settled, and the morphine finally took effect and brought them some sense of relief. Hope slumped back into her seat with a sigh, smiling over at Ruth who looked as exhausted as she was.

“You looked tired,” Hope smiled at her friend who just sighed.

“It’s been a long day. I can’t wait to get back to base,” Ruth pushed her short blonde hair out of her eyes, sighing again.

“Hey Frank, how much longer have we got,” Hope called to one of the pilots.

“We’ve had to make a detour, doll. We’re heading to Thorpe Abbotts airfield and will evacuate the wounded to Thorpe St. Andrews Hospital. It’s not far now.”

Hope felt her heart flutter, her throat drying as she slouched back against her seat.

“Hey Hope, what’s wrong?” Ruth leaned forward, gripping Hope’s hand and squeezing it, her large blue eyes filled with worry.

“It’s Hugh,” Hope muttered, her eyes a little teary but a smile on her lips nonetheless. “My brother is stationed at Thorpe Abbotts with the 100th Bomb Group. I haven’t seen him in so long.”

Ruth’s concerned frown turned to a smile, “So I’m finally going to meet this Hugh I’ve heard so much about.”

Hope laughed, patting her friend on the back gently, “You will, but don’t get any ideas.”

The aircraft soared towards its destination, and the occasional jolting and shaking on the metal bird brought no fear to the flight nurses anymore. Once, the ratting metal coffin struck the fear of God into them but now this was a peaceful ride.

Hope watched out the window as the lush, green countryside grew closer and closer.

“Hey, Frank! Stop hugging the hedgerows for crying out loud. Don’t let the girl down before we’ve reached the field,” Hope called, grimacing as the trees seemed to grow ever closer.

“Who’s flying this bird, Armstrong? You or me?” Frank retorted, not looking away from the cockpit.

“Well, maybe you could use some lessons in keeping the old girl airborne then. We’ll beat up the airfield at this rate.”

Ruth laughed, watching Hope argue with the pilot once more, “You know Hope, maybe you should have gotten your wings. Then you could be flying us instead of Frank.”

“You’ve got a good point there, Ruth. Ya hear that Frank, Ruth wants me flying instead of you.”

Frank’s reply was a muffled curse, and both girls found themselves giggling in response. The plane tooled along for a while longer until it finally began to descend, rattling as it lost altitude and shaking its victims vigorously. The wheels touching down on the tarmac filled everyone with great relief.

“Well that was one ropey landing, Frank. Maybe I could give ya a few lessons?” Hope asked politely, batting her eyelashes at the pilot who just huffed.

“Shove off, Hope. Now get to it, your blood wagons are waiting.”

Hope cringed at the nickname the ambulances had been given, they were lifesaving vehicles transporting sick men, why make it sound so ominous?

Hope hopped down from the plane, instructing the stretcher-bearers on which soldiers were in the worst condition. Between them, Hope and Ruth helped carry three wounded men to the ambulances when an obnoxiously loud voice called, “Well, I’ll be damned!”

Hope spun round, her boots scuffing at the earth.

“HUGH!” Her brother laughed jovially, jogging over to them.

“Gosh, I’ve missed you, Little Bird,” Hugh threw his arms around Hope’s shoulders, nestling his head into her neck as he always did. Hope couldn’t comprehend what was happening. She was finally in her brother's arms, finally reunited with him after so long. She gripped tightly onto the back of his uniform, burying her face in his chest. He smelt of smoke and engine oil just like he did back home.

“I’ve missed you so much,” she murmured, just loud enough for Hugh to hear as he tightened his grip on her further. She could feel Ruth hovering awkwardly behind her and she turned to greet her friend, pulling out of her brother's arms.

“Ruth, this is my brother, Hugh. Hugh, this is my friend, Ruth.”

Ruth smiled sweetly, sticking out her hand to shake Hugh’s but instead, he pulled her into a bear hug.

“Any friend of Hope’s is a friend of mine,” he assured Ruth and she smiled, her cheeks turning a deep red at the embarrassment of the situation.

“Hugh, put her down. Look, you're making the poor girl blush,” Hope laughed, which only caused Ruth to blush harder.

“My apologies Ruthie, where are my manners,” he bowed, taking her hand and placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

“Oh, uh- nice to meet you.” Ruth stumbled over her words, quickly using the excuse that she needed her flight jacket as an excuse to return to the plane.

“You’re a real pain in the ass, you know that?” Hope groaned, shoving her brother playfully in the ribs.

“I don’t know, I’ve always considered myself rather charming,” Hugh protested, puffing out his chest in pride.

Hope nodded, spinning around to call Ruth to join them. The blonde soon was walking back toward the group, now wearing her fleece aviation jacket, and to her relief, without a rosy dusting on her cheeks.

“I still can’t believe out of all the airfields in England, you managed to land at this one,” Hugh laughed, throwing an arm around both girls' shoulders. “You two are in for a real treat.”

As they walked through the base, Hugh pointed out the various hard stands.

“See, right there,” he pointed at a few heavies. “That’s “Just-a-Snappin’, Our Baby, and the M’lle Zig Zig.”

“Where do you guys get these names, Hugh?” Hope laughed, her eyes trailing over each one’s elaborate nose art, along with some very proud-looking engineers and artists who had clearly put so much love into the bombers.

Shrugging his shoulders, Hugh sighed, shaking his head. “I couldn’t tell ya. What’s your plane named?”

“Just the Angel of Death,” Hope chirped.

Hugh stared at her for a moment before shaking his head. “Always with the dark humor, aren’t you, Hope.”

After hearing so much about the man from Hope, Ruth felt as if she’d known Hugh for years when in reality she’d only known him for a few minutes. She knew the stories of how the siblings played in the woods of Columbia, Missouri, exploring the famous rock bridge that brought hikers and tourists into the town. She knew of his love for the St. Louis Cardinals, and how he wore his battered and dirty Dizzy Dean jersey for a week straight after they won the World Series in ‘31 and ‘34. Maybe he’d heard so much about Ruth from Hope that he felt the same way.

‘It would make sense based on his initial reaction.’ she thought, absentmindedly reaching up and grabbing the small pendant hanging from her neck, running her fingers over its smooth edges.

Before they knew it, the trio reached their destination: his officer nissen hut. They were long semi-circular metal huts, not known for their warmth or comfortability, but they were a soft place to land at the end of the day…which is a lot more than most young men of the time could say.

“Welcome to my humble abode, ladies,” he announced as they neared the building, holding out his arms in a ‘ta-da’ motion. “She’s not much, but she’s home.”

He began to open the door for them, but a voice in the distance stopped him.

“Charlie! No girls in the huts,” the voice called. “I told you that a few weeks ago.”

Turning toward the voice, Hope did a double take when she saw who its owner. Approaching them was a tall, tan, brunette, who wore a bomber jacket with his hair messily combed to the side. He walked with a swagger that instantly put a bad taste in Hope’s mouth.

She sighed to herself, thinking, ‘Why do all the cute ones have to be cocky?’

Hugh groaned, pointing at Hope. “Buck, come on, this is my-”

The man finally reached them, and Hope stopped herself from being captivated by his blue-green eyes.

“I don’t care who she is. You know the rules,” he interrupted, turning to the girls. “Sorry girls, but I think it’s time for you to go.”

Ruth cringed and side-eyed Hope, already expecting a snarky response to his comment.

“Well,” she paused, checking her watch for effect. “Seeing as we have patients in the infirmary, it actually isn’t time for us to go.”

It was then that he looked down at her upper arm, taking in the bright red and white medic band that adorned her uniform. Ruth could see the slightest show of remorse in his expression as his eyes rose back up to Hope’s.

“My apologies, ma’am. I didn’t know-”

Hope didn’t let him finish, cutting him off. “Maybe you should know all the facts before you make an assumption, Buck.”

“Hope!” Ruth hissed, trying to placate her friend, but the woman ignored her.

“See, other than my brother, this is why I can’t stand airmen. They’re cocky-”

Realizing the flaw in Hope’s argument, Ruth ran a hand down her face, secondhand embarrassment filling her. Just when she was about to interject, Buck beat her to it.

“Now hold on. Maybe you should know all the facts before you make an assumption, sweetheart.”

Hope’s mind ran rampant with frustration, and she stared up at him with contempt as he smiled cheekily at her. His eyes were locked on hers as they had a stare-down, neither wanting to be the first to give in.

“So,” Hugh cleared his throat in an attempt to break their silent battle. “Let me introduce you guys. Ladies, this is my squadron commander, Major Buck Cleven.”

Buck tilted his head slightly, not breaking eye contact with Hope. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” she replied dryly.

Ruth shook her head and sighed, amazed at her fellow nurse’s childlike stubbornness.

“And Buck, this is my sister, Hope, and her friend Ruth. They’re flight nurses with the 806th MAETS.”

Ruth raised a hand and waved with a quiet, “Hello,” and Hope felt a little satisfaction when the man’s eyes widened at the word sister.

Buck’s eys left Hope for a moment to acknowledge Ruth, who stood beside her, with a nod and a smile. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”

“You, too, Major,” she responded with a small grin. He then turned back to Hope.

“So, you’re the infamous little sister we’ve all heard about?” Buck chuckled, placing his hands on his hips.

The woman glanced over at Hugh, who wore a guilty expression. “All good things, I hope.”

“For the most part,” Buck chimed, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I know about your little escapade to Kansas City, and how–”

Hope’s eyes widened in disbelief that her brother had divulged her most embarrassing moment. “Hugh!!” she cried, smacking his chest. “You lying piece of crap! You promised!”

“It’s not like I thought you’d ever meet anyone here, Hope!”

Composing herself, she took a deep breath and sent Buck a tight-lipped smile. “It looks like you know a lot more about me than I do about you, Major.”

“It would seem so, Nurse Armstrong.”

As Ruth amusedly listened to Gale and Hope’s banter, she felt like she was being watched. Glancing around the group, her heart skipped a beat as her eyes met another set of icy blues, ones that were new to the group.

‘How did I miss him walking up?’ she wondered.

Their gazes locked for a few seconds that seemed to last minutes, and a shudder ran through her. Breaking from his stupor, he quickly looked away with a light pink dusting on his cheeks. Ruth felt her own blush creeping up her neck and wrapped her flight jacket closer to her body, the English chill suddenly getting to her.

Her eyes seemed to have a mind of their own as they fought to return to the handsome stranger. It took all her willpower to keep them on Hugh, who was talking to the group.

“I can’t imagine going up without weapons on board. We’ve got 12 50-cal brownings and sometimes I feel that’s not enough.”

The battle within herself became too much, and Ruth finally gave in to her temptation. Her eyes flitted over to the man, and she silently sighed in relief when she found his gaze elsewhere. It was then that she discovered her first assumption of the man being ‘handsome’ was an understatement. He had a strong and well-defined jawline, expressive and striking blue-grey eyes, a straight nose, and a slightly curved lip, which held a pencil-thin mustache.

She liked the mustache.

He wore a crooked crusher cap and a white fleece-lined flying jacket that looked somewhat dirty, accompanied by his brown service top poking out at the jacket collar.

Ruth was mesmerized by the man, and she didn’t even know his name. A wide grin broke out on his face as he engaged in the group’s conversation, his upper lip curling up, allowing a few teeth to peek out the top, and Ruth felt her stomach lurch for the second time in a short few minutes.

Focus, Ruth. Focus.

An elbow to her side broke her stare, and the group’s eyes were suddenly on her as Hope looked at her expectantly.

“What?” Ruth asked, looking like a deer in headlights.

“I said that we would go insane without each other up there.”

“Oh,” she sighed with a small smile. “You would probably kill Frank if I weren’t there.”

The group broke out in laughter, and Ruth found her eyes absentmindedly moving to the mystery man. As he chuckled, his eyes wrinkled at the edges, and his full smile revealed a dazzlingly straight set of pearly whites. His loud laughter was infectious, and a few giggles escaped her mouth.

As the group’s chuckles started to die down, Hope looked over at Ruth. She took in her friend’s shy smile and blush, then followed her gaze to the airman across the circle. Realizing what was happening, she nudged Ruth lightly, a teasing eyebrow raised.

“What?” Ruth grumbled under her breath, leaning closer to her friend’s ear as the guys carried on the group’s conversation.

“You like him.”

The blonde’s smile fell and heat rushed up her neck. “Who?”

Hope tilted her head incredulously, rolling her eyes. “You know who.”

“No, I don’t,” she defended,

“He’s staring,” Hope grinned, nodding his direction subtly.

Ruth’s eyes rose to his, and sure enough, his striking eyes were gazing into hers yet again. This time, however, he didn’t look away. The corner of his lips quirked up into a barely noticeable grin, and she felt as if she was shrinking under the intensity of his gaze.

“Uh, I need to go check on the patients,” she sputtered, pointing her fingers in the direction of the infirmary. With a curt nod to Hope, she quickly turned and started toward the infirmary, her blonde curls bouncing with each step. A few seconds later, she spun to face the group and called, “But it was…uh…nice to meet y’all.”

Hugh didn’t miss a beat and hollered back his reply. “You, too, Ruthie!” He then paused until she was out of earshot. “She alright?”

“She’s fine,” Hope sighed, used to her friend’s more timid personality. She had hoped that over time, her extroversion would rub off on the nurse, but so far, she had no such luck. Ruth was more of a one-on-one person, not one for groups of people unless she knew them pretty well. It seemed the smaller the group got, the more Ruth seemed to come alive. It was like pulling teeth to get Ruth to agree to go out with the other girls of the unit, but when she finally stepped out of her comfort zone, she usually had a good time filled with friends, fellas, and amazing big band music.

Ruth’s admirer joined the conversation, and Hope smirked, watching his eyes follow her friend. “How far away is your base?”

“We’re in Berkshire, so by car, it’s about three hours, but by plane, probably 45 minutes.”

“So not far,” he chimed, raising his eyebrows and nodding to himself. Before anyone else could comment, he spoke again.

“See you boys later,” he said absentmindedly as he watched Ruth’s figure go around a corner. Clapping Buck’s shoulder, he set off and followed the nurse’s path around the corner, missing the raised eyebrows and confused expressions sent his way. All eyes followed him as he, too, disappeared around the corner.

Hope pursed her lips at the new development, unsure of the man following Ruth. “Should I be worried?”

“Yep,” Hugh confirmed with a curt nod.

Buck hit him on the chest, chuckling under his breath. “Johnny’s a good man, darlin’.”

Hugh suppressed a snort thinking of the commander’s wild habits and how Buck didn't exactly answer her question.

“Anyways, back wh-”

And just like that, the conversation continued, and Hope had a strange feeling of contentment being on base. Finally being with family again.

As Ruth briskly made her way around the nissen huts to the infirmary, her heart continued to beat rapidly in her chest, and her mind replayed his smile non-stop.

Get it together, Ruth!

When she finally reached the infirmary, she stopped at the door, taking a deep breath to gain some composure. Within seconds of opening the heavy door, the base’s head surgeon approached her, wiping his hands with a rag.

“Hello,” he greeted. “I’m Captain Emory Kinder, and I’m assuming you’re one of the flight nurses who landed earlier?”

Ruth wore her signature toothy grin and nodded. “Yes, sir. Ruth Morgan. My other half is visiting with her brother as we speak.”

“Brother?”

“Yep, Hugh Armstrong,” she replied, her smile widening as his face lit up.

“Charlie! Oh yeah, I know him. He’s been in here for a few hangovers after a rowdy night in Dickleburgh.”

“Really?” Ruth chuckled, picturing the confident young man drunk as a skunk.

“Oh yeah. We love him though. He’s a good one for sure.”

A patient called out to him, and with a nod, he was off, helping the man. Ruth busied herself however she could, bringing airmen water, re-wrapping their bandages, and pretty much anything that would get her mind off the man from earlier. She was inspecting a man’s arm wound when the creaking of the door opening filled the building. Paying it no mind, she kept working, noting how the tissue was already healing.

“It looks good, Sergeant. You should be back in the air soon,” she said quietly.

His wide-eyed morphine-induced expression looked pitiful, but he managed to mumble out a, “Thank you, ma’am.”

Ruth gathered her supplies and stood to her feet, throwing away the bloody bandages when Emory's voice rang through the air.

“Speaking of rowdy nights in Dickleburgh...Major, what can I do for ya? Is that shoulder giving you problems again?”

“No, Doc,” the newcomer began, his deep voice breaking the relative quiet. “The shoulder’s fine. I just wanted to, you know, come see the boy-men.”

When she turned toward them and saw the white jacket, the roll of bandages fell from her grasp and hit the floor with a thud, rolling a few feet away to the man’s feet. The heat returned to her cheeks in a rush, and her eyes froze on the bandages for a moment, silently cursing the little white bundle. She watched in horror as the man slowly bent down and picked it up, walking toward her as he threw it up in the air and caught it.

“I think this yours,” he said, one side of his lips quirking up into a smirk as he held it out to her.

Raising her eyes from the bandage to his eyes, she prayed her voice would stay steady. “Thank you, sir.”

She took the bandage and tried to remain calm, her free hand raising to run her fingers over the cool metal of her locket.

“John. Major John Egan,” he introduced himself, extending his hand to her. “But you can call me Bucky.”

Ruth’s brows furrowed in confusion as she took his much larger hand and shook it gently. It was surprisingly soft compared to the men she’d treated from the lines. “Bucky? It’s there another-”

“Yeah,” John chuckled and slowly released her hand, shoving his in his pockets, rocking back on his heels. “We call Cleven Buck, too. He hates it, but he deals with it.”

Grimacing playfully, she decided to go out on a limb despite her pounding heart. “Well, I, um, don’t know if I’ll be able to remember who’s who.”

“Oh no,” John tutted, his eyebrows raised and a wide-mouthed smile painting his lips. “We can’t have that. You can call me John, Johnny, whatever you want, doll, but I don’t think you’re going to have a hard time remembering my name.”

“And why would that be, Johnny?”

“Because you’ll see it at the bottom of each letter you’ll get from me.”

The blonde froze, dropping her necklace in disbelief as she swallowed thickly.

‘There is no way he just said that,’ her mind repeated. ‘There is no way he just said that.”

Pushing through her reserved personality and the tingling sensation swirling in her stomach, she decided to take a page from Hope’s book.

“What makes you think I’d let you write me, hotshot?”

Her mind went haywire. ‘‘Why did I just say that? I’m never taking Hope’s advice again. This is too stressful.’

For the first time in their interaction, his confident bravado seemed to fade and he didn’t quite know what to say. Perhaps he was always used to women giving in to his advances easily, but Ruth was not just another woman begging to be wooed. Johnny stood before her with furrowed brows, his upper lip sticking out slightly. He pushed back his jacket and placed his hands on his hips, his head ducking to the floor.

“Because I’d like to get to know you,” he replied earnestly, taking off his cap. “You’re gorgeous, and I would like to write you, Ruth.“

That was the last thing she expected.

In that moment, Ruth Morgan had a decision to make. Was she going to reject the airman or give him a chance? She knew she was attracted to him and there was chemistry there, but was she willing to put herself out there? The timid parts of her personality screamed at her to tell him no, but the parts that Hope had influenced were urging her to accept his offer. In the end, Ruth already liked Johnny, and she saw the sincerity in his statement as a deciding factor in the matter.

“Alright, you can write to me,” she answered quietly, pushing her hair behind her ear.

John watched as she walked to the infirmary desk and got a sheet of paper, scribbling down what he expected to be her address. He took in her features, just like he had earlier. Starting at her light blonde hair, his gaze traveled down her face to her familiar blue eyes, down her adorable nose, to her lips, which were pursed slightly as she concentrated on writing down her information. She was stunning, and Johnny knew that he wanted to see her again just from their short conversation.

Approaching him again, she held up a slip of paper, a toothy grin on her lips. “This is sensitive information, Major. It better not end up in enemy hands, and that includes your fellow airmen.”

“Yes ma’am,” he nodded once before fake saluting her, unable to keep his excitement inside. “Mission understood.”

“But just to be safe, I’m going to hold onto it for a little bit.” she leaned a little closer to him, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Just in case I, you know, change my mind.”

John grinned down at her and yet again raised his eyebrows as he nodded. Ruth noticed he did that a lot. “I’ll be on my best behavior, scout’s honor.”

Sliding the slip into her pocket, she started her nursing tasks once again, looking at him over her shoulder. “So, you were in the Boy Scouts?”

“No,” he chuckled, putting back on his cap as he moved next to Ruth to help. “I wasn’t, but Buck was. He ended up being an Eagle Scout before he aged out. One of the best in Wyoming, he says, but I don't buy it.”

He stood a good 5 or so inches above her, so his chin was at her eye level. In the small area at the nursing station, his shoulder was just barely pressed against hers as they both worked to roll bandages, and Ruth could feel the warmth radiating from his touch.

“It seems like you know each other pretty well,” she stated, looking up at him briefly.

His concentration remained on the bandage in his hands as he spoke. “Yeah. He’s my best friend.”

“How long have you known each other?” She asked, reaching up to mess with her necklace.

“We both joined up in ‘40 and were roommates in basic. Been together ever since.”

“That reminds me of Hope and I, although we haven’t known each other for nearly that long.”

John placed the finished bandage in the basket and turned to face her, leaning a hip against the counter as his earnest expression returned. “War makes people closer. Makes ‘em realize who’s important. What’s important.”

The blonde mirrored his stance, taking in his words. He was right. War did have a way of bringing people together. She gazed up at him with a shared understanding of how something as terrible as the war had brought out the best and worst in people, as well as brought people into their lives for the better. The pair’s eyes remained locked for a few moments, both realizing that perhaps there was something deeper than the flirting between them. His warm eyes seemed to search hers, and to her surprise, she didn’t feel nervous in that moment. Johnny’s gaze was like a warm blanket enveloping all of her senses to the point that all she could see was him.

“I feel the same way,” Ruth finally answered, fixing a stray curl that had fallen into her eyes.

Half of his lips curled up in a grin and he took a step toward her. “Ruth, I-”

The loud opening of the door jolted them from the moment, sending both their heads in the direction of the entrance. There stood an out-of-breath Frank, whose face was bright red and shimmering with sweat.

“Ruth! Do you know how long I’ve been looking for ya?” He cried, approaching them quickly.

Unsure of the man’s intentions, Johnny straightened and moved just barely in front of her, holding out a hand towards Frank. “Woah, buddy.”

Although it was an endearing effort, she couldn’t hold in a loud giggle at Frank’s offended expression that followed. “No, Johnny,” she laughed, gently lowering his hand. “This is our pilot, Frank. Frank, this is Major John Egan. What is it?”

The pilot’s eyes flicked between Ruth and Johnny for a few seconds before he sighed. “I’ve filled the Angel up and it’s time to go. Find Hope and meet me back at the plane.”

Just like that, he was out the door again, probably to get ready for takeoff. Ruth’s heart sank at the realization that she was having to leave. It seemed he also came to the same conclusion as he turned toward her and sighed.

“Looks like you’ve gotta go,” he said softly, slightly tilting his head to the side as he peered down at her.

The nurse looked at the door, then lowered her gaze to her feet. “It sure does.”

She almost gasped in surprise when something warm grasped her hand gently. Her eyes shot up to John’s hand that held delicately held hers. The contact sent a tingle up her arm and seemingly straight to her mind, muddying her thoughts.

“I'd like to see you again,” he murmured where only she could hear.

This quieter, softer version of him was unknown to Ruth, but she knew instantly that she liked the duality of Johnny.

The blush she’d resisted finally won and dusted her cheeks as she looked up at him. “I’d like that, too.”

John softly tugged her hand closer and bridged the distance between them slowly, his entrancing eyes flicking between her eyes and lips. Ruth could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she stood on her toes to meet him. She felt his warm breath on her face, and her eyes fluttered closed, anticipating the kiss. But before their lips could meet, the door opened again, and Frank called out to her.

“Ruth, come on! You can neck the Major later!”

The door quickly creaked closed.

Heat rushed to Ruth’s face, and she reluctantly pulled back from Johnny, setting her heels back on the ground. Johnny awkwardly stood to his full height, glaring at the door where Frank stood moments before.

“I’ll see you next time, Johnny,” Ruth smiled bashfully, gently squeezing his hand once before dropping it. She walked backward to the door, praying she wouldn’t trip.

Johnny let out a huff of air as the biggest smile grew on his face. “So there will be a next time?”

She simply grinned at him, shrugging her shoulders when she turned to open the door. With one last look over her shoulder, she closed the door behind her.

The infirmary was silent for a few seconds, and then the patients erupted in hollers, cheers, and whistles.

“Way to go, Bucky!”

“Leave some for the rest of us, Major!”

Amid their uproar, John remembered a crucial detail: She hadn’t given him her address! He took off toward the door, reaching for the handle when it creaked open, revealing a laughing Ruth on the other side. She held out the slip to him.

“I think you behaved well enough, Major.”

“Told you,” he chimed, his eyebrows raising. “Scout’s honor.”

John took the paper from her outstretched hand and watched as she left once again. When the door had slammed shut behind her, he read the note to himself with a wide smile.

Hotshot,

You can write me at the Grove, Berkshire, Hut 4. I like you, so try not to get shot down before I can return your letter, and I’ll do the same.

Safe Flying,

Ruth Morgan

Johnny shot his hand with the paper into the air, and the men cheered once again. Ruth, on the other hand, was in disbelief of what had just transpired. She had almost kissed him! She wanted to kiss him! Running her hands through her hair, she tried to focus on the task at hand: finding Hope.

Ruth ran around the base like a chicken with her head cut off looking for the woman, and was about to give up when she saw her sitting in a jeep with Buck in the distance.

“HOPE! There you are, I've been looking everywhere. Frank fueled up the plane. We have to go,” Ruth huffed, clearly out of breath from running, but her flushed cheeks, Hope thought, told a different story.

“Okay, I'll be over in five minutes,” Hope promised, but Ruth didn't look convinced.

“Your five minutes or an actual five minutes?” She asked, and the glare Hope sent her way had Ruth turning around and heading back in the direction she’d come.

“Okay, but I'll be timing you,” she yelled over her shoulder.

When Ruth looked back to see Hope kissing Buck on the cheek, it occurred to her that maybe there were more trips to Thorpe Abbotts in the cards for both of them.

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