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destiel-wings · 9 months

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Dean Winchester & hug dynamic analysis

I was thinking about how whenever Dean hugs someone he's almost always the one hugging the other and how this links to his psychological trauma of always being the caretaker of people, making himself bigger to protect them.

Because that's how Dean sees himself, as a shield for others, and then I thought about how Cas actually is the shield, and he's HIS SHIELD, specifically, the only one who's really there to protect HIM, which is why it hits so much when we see this:

The way Cas wraps his arms around him, trying to protect him with his whole body--that he'd use as a shield and give up in a second if he could spare him from any pain and save him.

(for context: Dean was about to go use the soul bomb on Amara there, it was a suicide mission)

Bobby is another one that hits, he hugs him as the big hugger because he's his father, he loves him and he's actually here to protect him (and Dean LETS him -barely, but he lets him *and Cas* - in a way that he doesn't let Sam)

I watched a compilation of Sam & Dean hugs to check if i was right about it, but it's almost always Dean the big hugger with Sam, except when he's about to die or Sam sees him alive again after losing him.

Even then, Dean mostly tries to hug Sam as the big hugger anyway, with at least one arm, like a way to comfort him, making him feel protected, like his body language is saying "I'm here, I'm okay, I'm still strong, i can still protect you" (because their real father failed and Dean thinks it's his job).

He rarely lets himself be the little one hugged with Sam, unless he's barely conscious. Which is why it kills me so much more now that in this moment (s14, when Dean was going to lock himself in the Ma'lak box cause he was possessed by Michael) and Sam has a desperate breakdown and punches him (to stop him) he forcefully hugs him as the little hugger, the way Dean always kept him, like a way of saying "I still need you to protect me, please don't do this to yourself".

In the scene below he gives Sam his blessing to do a dangerous (possibly suicidal) mission, and one of his arms is down, but the other one tries to stay up--he's forcing himself to do it and he struggles because he still wants to protect him, but (as the seasons progress) he slowly becomes more prone to let go.

So in this view the hug dynamic becomes an indicator of how Dean sees Sam (and himself) and his protector role, how adult and self sufficient he considers Sam, and how much he lets people around him take care of him, lowering his walls and letting himself be hugged.

This is also why i think hugs from characters like Garth or Charlie are so special, because they're just like us: they see Dean and they just know that he needs to be hugged a lot, and that he's not used to it, so they just go for it-- and it's so normal and kind and spontaneous that Dean's just not used to it-- he doesn't know how to respond (especially with Garth, at the beginning, but as the seasons progress, he learns to, and he even initiates the hug eventually).

youtube

I love the hugs where they're 50/50 (one arm up, one arm down both), feels like they're equals, both taking care of each other. I feel like with Sam and Dean, this indicates a healthier dynamic, because Dean lets go a little of the role that was imposed to him and manages to see Sam as the strong individual that he is. But the same applies to 50/50 hugs with other characters, like with Cas, where I feel like it testifies how equals they feel in terms of being fighters, there's a show of respect of each other's strength that transpires by the gesture (which is even more astounding considering that Cas is literally a powerful angel).

And just to end on a destiel note, I'd like to note the possessiveness and protectiveness of Dean (rightfully so) whenever he finds Cas after he thought he had lost him, and how that translates into his body/hug language:

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wolfiesmoon · 3 months

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Who is who again?

Riddle, Vil, Idia (seperately) x gn!reader

i was thinking and thinking and then i remembered that basic overdone fanfiction tropes do in fact exist, so here's a silly lil bodyswap fic for the soul

yuu is a little silly prankster goofster who likes messing around and trolling people in this fic, just saying in advance that i did inject a bit of personality in them

also i apologise if the fanfic becomes confusing to read at any point, it's kind of hard writing the reader's actions while in someone else's body, especially when interacting with the person you're swapped with haha

‧₊˚✩彡 Riddle Rosehearts

"Okay, so you're tellin' me that you're Riddle, and you're the Prefect?" Cater pointed to each of you respectively, still trying to grasp the situation. Trey, Ace and Deuce seemed equaly stumped.

"Yep. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but I'm in Riddle's body now." you replied, shrugging casually. "You shouldn't have told them so early on, Riddle, I wanted to mess around a bit."

"Oh, now I'm very glad I told them so early. Knowing you, you'd cause far too much trouble for me to be able to uphold my reputation." Riddle shuddered, imagining the silly pranks you'd pull on everyone while in his body. Well, I suppose they wouldn't be very silly to him.

"Wait. If I'm in your body, does that..."

You quickly took out Riddle's magical pen and pointed it towards Ace, yelling out "Off with your head!"

To your surprise, it actually worked and Ace had a collar around his neck. So you can use magic now.

"HEY! Why did you do that!?" Ace called you out.

"It's revenge for stealing the bit of food I was saving for last on Friday. And also, I needed someone to test out whether I can use magic now." you smirked mischeviously at his annoyance. Now this is fun.

"This still feels unreal. I cannot believe I'm looking at myself talking to someone else. And fooling around like an idiot, too." Riddle did not seem amused.

"Listen, okay, I finally have magic now and I'm gonna take advantage of that. Which means you better run, Cater." you rubbed your hands together evilly.

"What?! Why me?!" Cater was not prepared for this attack.

"Too much magicam. Not enough reality. Collar needed." you explain like a robot overlord and point Riddle's magical pen at Cater.

"Now, now, let's not do that, okay?" Trey gently wrapped his hand around the magical pen in your outstretched hand, smiling at you.

You were about to shake his hand off and proceed with your collaring plan, but you got a better idea.

"No, no, you're right." you shook your head, lowering your hand. Cater breathed a sigh of relief.

"Since I'm Riddle and all, I have to uphold a perfect test score on every test." everyone looked at you, wondering where you were going with this.

"This might be an awkward time to mention that I haven't studied for tommorow's test at all."

"Oh, no. Absolutely not. You are coming with me." Riddle was not about to let his grades slip by such a wide margin. He'll make you memorise things until atleast a 90% is guaranteed, as much as he would hate to get one.

Originally, he was going to try and figure out how to switch you back as soon as possible but that'll have to wait after tommorow it seems.

"WAIT, CAN YOU LIKE, ATLEAST REMOVE THIS COLLAR BEFORE YOU LEAVE?!" Ace yelled behind you but you just whistled innocently, not paying attention to his despair.

"That's how the Queen's succesor managed to- are you even listening?"

"You know, it looks kind of funny when I'm being scolded by myself." you yawned, placing your chin on your arms which were currently crossed on the table.

"This is NO laughing matter. My grades are at stake here." Riddle scolded you some more. You nodded sleepily and he took that as a sign to continue.

"So as I was saying- What are you doing now?" Riddle followed your line of sight, his gaze falling on the mirror inside his room. You were looking at him?

"Woah... You're, like, actually pretty cute." you turned back to him, excited at your discovery.

"...What are you blabbering on about? This is NO time to be fooling around, as I have been telling you for the past- Wow, you really are hopeless." Riddle sighed, watching you examine his face in his mirror and still not listening to the magical history lesson.

It does not help at all that you made him lose composure with that "cute" comment.

"Your eyelashes are nice." You comment, smiling at your own reflection.

"What an oddly specific compliment." Still, Riddle felt all weird inside when you said that. This is not fair. Now he can't focus on teaching you anymore.

"It's not oddly specific, really. Guys have really great eyelashes sometimes." You batted your lashes at the mirror and then at him, trying to showcase his charm.

"That is... very strange. Please stop that." Riddle still felt weird about seeing his own face make such silly expressions.

"Hey, if I were in my own body right now I would be swooning over you. Just for your information." You rolled your eyes playfully, entirely insistant on getting out of studying by flustering the hell out of poor Riddle.

"Wha- That's it, off with your-" Riddle reached for the magical pen which would normally be in one's pocket, only to realise that you don't even own one. Of course.

"Oh, Riddle. You silly goose. I'm the one in power here." You intertwined your fingers like a supervillain.

"Please, let's just get back to studying." If Riddle were in his own body right now, his face would be red all over from embarrasment.

"If you insist." You sighed in feigned defeat, your mind already cooking up more plans to embarrass Riddle while you're in his body.

How very fun indeed.

"Why are you smiling at me like that? That kind of smile does not suit my face." Riddle seemed concerned about his body's fate.

"Hmmm, I wonder how many drinks I can order at the Mostro lounge in one sitting." You wondered aloud on purpose.

"What?!"

"What? I didn't even say anything this time." you faked your innocence.

This is going to be a nightmare for Riddle, isn't it?

‧₊˚✩彡 Vil Schoenheit

"Oh. My. God." you lightly slapped your cheeks while looking at yourself in the mirror to make sure this is reality.

Well, you suppose they aren't exactly your cheeks. You're currently inside Vil freaking Schoenheit's body and you have no idea how it happened.

You do suppose all logic kind of gets thrown out the window in a world where magic exists, so swapping bodies with someone might not be that outlandish. Now you wonder if you're the only one who this happened to, and what your body is up to.

Speaking of being Vil Schoenheit now, does that mean you have to uphold his insanely strict daily routine now?

Nah, who are you kidding? You're going to cause as much trouble as you can for this pretty boy. He wakes up much earlier than you thought, so you don't know what to do right now. You walk around his room, inspecting every corner for some prank ammunition.

Rook knocked on the door all of a sudden, telling Vil that he's worried since he's taking longer than usual. You let him into the room.

You decided that you're not going to tell anyone that you're actually not Vil and and act as him for as long as you possibly can.

"Oh, I was just... thinking about something." you grinned evilly at the mirror, before turning back to face Rook.

"Oh my, it seems you were so lost in thought that you've completely forgone doing your hair and makeup. Quite the unpleasant surprise. What troubles you so?" Rook seemed utterly hearbroken.

Wow, he's blunt sometimes. Not that you care about that right now.

"I was just thinking that I'll probably skip all that today. You know, going for a natural look." You twirled a piece of Vil's hair in your hand.

Rook tried convincing you otherwise but you shooed him out, not wanting to hear anything about how 'a natural look also involves doing subtle, light makeup'. You're on a mission here.

Speaking of, you just got a great idea.

You opened his Magicam after getting dressed, briefly gawking at the follower count before clicking on the 'new post' button.

You placed Vil's phone horizontally against your chest, taking an unflattering chin photo and posting it to magicam with the caption "#chinningtime😍😍😍😍", giggling like an idiot all the while.

Within a minute, your post has already gained about 2 thousand likes and loads of very confused (and amused) comments.

What great encouragement to post another one.

You placed the selfie camera of his phone close to your forehead, taking a forehead touch perspective pic. You added the caption "what my kitten sees😈💯🔥" and posted it.

You were laughing your ass off at all the comments when someone knocked at the door. "Roi du Poison, this is an intervention. I am very concerned about you."

Hahahaha, of course he would be one of the first people to worry about you.

Rook joined you once again in your room, explaining how concerned he is about your behavior this morning and how it's very unlike you. I mean, jeez, is Vil allergic to fun or something?

However, Rook wasn't the only one that had concerns with you, it seems.

"Would you care to explain what these are?" you were surprised to hear your own voice, turning your gaze back to the door where you were standing with a very displeased face, holding up your phone with the two selfies you took earlier. It feels dystopian to see yourself standing right in front of you. Out of body experience, for real.

"Wait. Before anything, just who are you?" you wanted to know just who was in your body, though you were already about 90% sure of it.

"Ah, Trickster. What brings you into Pomefiore?" Rook questioned internally how Vil doesn't recognise you.

"For your information, I am Vil. That other person next to you is not Vil. I'd assume you're the prefect, then?" he looked you with authority, leaving no room for stalling or avoiding his question.

"Yeah, yeah. You got me. But like, it's funny, right?" you shrugged, smiling goofily.

Vil dragged you off to the headmage's office, promising to explain things to Rook later and giving a firm scolding to you.

"Now that everything is finally sorted and we're excused from class for the day, would care to delete those... unflattering posts, please?" once the two of you were back in Vil's room, he immediately brought up that topic.

By now, they had to have gathered about 70k likes, right? Hehehehe.

"Do not smile at me like that. Or I will take back my phone and delete those horrid photos myself. Do you even realise what a PR nightmare this could be?" he placed his hands on his hips. You feel like you look completely different now that Vil's mannerisms are reflected on your own body. Body language really makes a man, huh?

"Oh, come onnnn, your fans love it. Everyone's laughing and saying how surprising it is to see you post something like this. See, they even got the hashtag #chinningtime trending!" you showed him pictures of his fans taking the same unflattering chin photos.

"What joy does someone derive from selfies as horrible as that? You made me look utterly horrible with those angles." You watched your own face contort with cringe. It's amusing how funny you look.

"People love silly things from time to time. For a celebrity as serious and professional as you, occasional silliness makes you look more relatable to your fans. A celebrity with a good sense of humor is the best kind in my opinion." you gave him a happy thumbs up. It was also for your own amusement, but you really don't feel like getting scolded even more than you have on your way back to the dorm.

"That is... the smartest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth." He sighed, "I suppose it would cause people to talk about it even more if I deleted them now. But I am still not happy about them."

You ignored the jab at your intelligence, turning around to look at yourself in the mirror. "You know, Vil, you can let loose from time to time. Smile and goof around without worrying what someone might think." your eyes travelled down the sculpted jawline of your new reflection.

"In a way, you're right for suggesting that. But I'm not someone who enjoys your sense of humor or relaxed philosophy to begin with." he was right. He only jokes on occasion and his jokes aren't very goofy.

"You're right..." now that you technically are him, you can see first hand how much he cares about his body. His skin is soft and gleaming, his hair is healthy and shiny and his body is nice to move around in.

"You seem lost in thought. It's unlike you." you looked back at him through the mirror.

"I just thought about how admirable you are. Like, damn, I could nevaaa." Vil inferred you were talking about his strict daily routine. You seem different now. More quiet and thoughtful than usual. And he definitely didn't miss the pink dusting his cheeks on his own face through the mirror's reflection.

"Thank you." 'admirable' is a compliment slightly rarer than the usual ones talking about his beauty.

"By the way, your smile is beautiful. Not the one in all the movies, the one you don't consciously make." you closed your eyes, recalling that exact face of his. Too pretty for his own good, that man.

"Thank... you. You seem in a great mood to compliment me. Surely you don't think this will be enough to make up for the selfies, because it is not." at this point, even Vil didn't know what to think. The smile he doesn't consciously make, huh...

"Nah, those were just random ones I wanted to get off my mind. Oh, by the way, I don't know how to do your makeup look. Care to do it for me, pookie bear?" you sprung up from the chair at the vanity table, already getting excited about messing him up on purpose by opening your eyes when he tells you not to or moving your lips away from the lipstick, making it smudge.

You got way too sentimental for a moment there. And you're sure he noticed.

"Back to your regular self, I see. Fine, I will make myself look beautiful, as always." he smiled confidently. Though he himself has become curious about that side of you now.

Do you really think of him as a victim of your little pranks like everyone else, or are you hiding something else behind your silly smile?

‧₊˚✩彡 Idia Shroud

You were surprised to find a different voice calling out to you in the morning and telling you to wake up, one that sounded more cheerful, peppy, childlike.

And sure enough, it was Ortho's face that greeted you instead of your usual furry friend Grim.

As it turns out, you woke up in Idia's body this morning. What a lovely surprise.

You mean that both sarcastically and in the regular sense.

While you were explaining what was happening to a confused and worried Ortho, Idia's phone started buzzing somewhere in the bed. This dude sleeps with his phone inside his bed? Well, you suppose you have no time for judgement when the phone call might be important.

You rummage through his bed and eventually extract his phone. It was your number calling him.

When you pick up, you hear your own panicked voice on the other end. "U-Um, is this- Are you- How do..."

"Yes, I'm the Prefect. Looks like we switched bodies overnight." you inferred that he wanted to know who exactly just picked up the phone.

"How exactly do you think that happened? I mean, that's NOT normal." your voice on the other end seemed much calmer now.

"Hm, I have no clue, but I do know that I'm going to have loads of fun..." you grinned widely, catching a glimpse of yourself on Idia's dark phone screen and flinching slightly. You're definitely not going to get used to looking like someone else for a while. Especially if your new appearance is as unique as Idia's.

"What do you mean by that? Seriously, wha-" you ended the call before your voice could finish the sentence.

"Hehehehe... I bet he's panicking so hard right now." you giggled to yourself, still feeling a little weird about the fact that it's Idia's voice coming out of your mouth instead of your own.

"Brothe- No, Prefect. Who was that?" it was adorable how worried Ortho was over his brother. Or you, you suppose.

"Oh, don't worry your pretty little head about it..." you patted Ortho's head, hand moving over his flames with interest. "Go ahead and have fun, I'll be here if you need me." you gently shooed Ortho out of Idia's room to execute your master trolling plan.

You sat behind Idia's computer, booting it up. His computer works really fast, which isn't all that surprising considering his skills. He probably built the whole PC from scratch.

Surely, Idia won't mind if you play his games for a bit. You just want to see how far he's gotten. How many items he's saved up.

Hehehe.

You opened up one of the games you've been dabbling in yourself a bit, giggling to yourself about the random anime girl backround.

"Jeez, he's basically pro at this point." you went through his obtained characters and all the stats on most characters were maxed out.

But, since he still hasn't obtained the new character AND he has loads of gems in his inventory, he surely won't mind if you do the work for him, right?

You started pulling for characters in the gacha, waiting for the little indicator that you got a rare character. The flames of your hair flickered more and more with each pull, knowing you were getting closer.

Just when you got the pull animation you were looking for, the door to his room burst open and you saw yourself, all panicked and panting. Took him long enough, jeez.

"Oh, hi, me! I was just pulling for this character on your behalf, and-" you glance at the monitor "Looks like I won the fifty/fifty, hehe~" you acted cute and innocent.

"W-W-WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! I didn't- I didn't want this character! I was saving up for the re-run, and- Agh!" Idia pushed you away from his keyboard, and he stared at the screen with pure horror in his eyes. You wonder what color his hair would be if he were in his body right now. But as it stands, his flames are flickering happily above your head at a succesful trolling attempt.

"Just buy more gems, bae. Money solves all your problems." you pat his head, kinda cringed out by the way your face can contort when it's making faces candidly. You really look like that when in despair, huh?

Idia ignored the way the casual pet name made him feel. He's supposed to be furious at you right now, not flustered.

"Noooooooo, this is the worst day of my life...." he hid his face in his hands.

"You know what, though? Look at the bright side! I get to figure out how your hair looks when it's wet. I doubt you'd do it yourself and I've been morbidly curious for a while." you patted his shoulder in an overly cheerful manner.

"Wha- Abso-freaking-lutely not. You're a weirdo of the third degree." he crossed his arms, still feeling a bit heartbroken over his videogames being tampered with.

"Is it that weird that I find your hair pretty?" you run your hand through his hair for the thousandth time this morning. It just feels so strange, yet nice under your fingers.

"Finding out if I become bald when my hair gets wet doesn't seem like something a hair admirer would do, but IDK, maybe my definition is different from yours." Idia shrugs, scowl still as big as ever.

"But really, I am an admirer. I kept looking at myself or, well, you in your phone camera this morning because your hair is just so pretty. Watching your hair fluctuate with your emotions is always a fun sight, too. Like damn, your hair is literally on fire, how cool is that?" you explain your thoughts, twirling a piece of his hair in your hand and smiling at it.

"If only I could cuddle up to you and use you like a heater. Too bad your hair's just a normal temperature." Idia's heart almost exploded at the mental image that formed in his head when you said that. And it was even worse because it was coming out of his own mouth.

"T-This is not okay... You can't do this to me...!" he mumbled, not meeting your eyes.

You don't get it, you just dealt 99999 damage to his falling-in-love-resistance shield. Just how do you manage to do that?

"Actually, now that I can look at it up close as much as I want, your face is like, really well proportioned too. Like..." you bit your lip as a joke, wanting to look overly flirty. "That's all I'm gonna say."

Okay, now you've done it. He might just pass out, right now.

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autism-alley · 5 months

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look obviously i don’t know the guy but i feel like 2009 rick riordan would fist fight 2024 rick riordan

#or at least send him a strongly worded email like he did to the production of the movies #my man you already wrote the story #the movies committed the sin of sexing up his children’s story #now the show is committing the sin of removing the story’s spirit #if that sounds dramatic to you. same but once i thought about it? yeah.#i rly fucking hope disney is more to blame than rick but the show is not automatically above criticism bc rick is involved #and i am just being silly with this post but i am itching to post my own critiques #i have been rb’ing critiques i agree with so i won’t repeat those but i have points of my own to make #percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo show crit #percy jackson disney+#percy jackson and the olympians #rick riordan #ris raves

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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happy mother's day lmfao

bonus (the girls are fightiiing):

#and thus eddie caused a category 5 neighborhood disaster bc he tried to flirt via sandwich questions #which is a totally valid way to flirt. Totally.#what's more romantic than being able to bring people their favorite sandwiches without having to ask #idk im not a romantic. almost wrote tomantic. i dont like tomatoes either #welcome home #scribble salad #welcome home fanart #welcome home puppet show #in all honesty during last night's festive breakdown i had the doodled Thought above #and scribbled it in my phone notes #it feels good to not only have an Idea but to also Get It Out #yaknow? i dont get that often #brain usually has half a thought then fizzles out and decides to go lay down for a full week #also here's a niche concept that is incredibly funny to me:#a neighbor swearing and wally immediately being like NO!!! THE RATINGS!!!!#he has to snipe them before they can get the full word out. how sad :'{#alsoX2 special thanks to these doodles for keeping me awake #i had decided not to sleep when i drew this and i can't fall asleep before ten otherwise ill wake up 4 hours later wide awake #with no hope of getting back to sleep #and another s/o to barnaby for being incredibly pleasant to draw. he does not fight me like the others do

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shikai-the-storyteller · 5 months

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I've been thinking a lot about Leonarda's not-death ever since it happened back in April.

("What death?" you might ask, to which I say: "EXACTLY!")

Back in mid-April, Vegetta and Leonarda were mining together in a one-block wide tunnel. A mob (a Petriman) got between the two of them, and Vegetta told Leonarda to step back while he took care of it. At this point, they'd spent enough time together that he trusted Leo to listen to him.

Instead, she was killed by the same sweeping edge bug that killed her siblings.

Vegetta's reaction here is what's really interesting to me. Unlike most other parents on the Island, there are no shouts or tears – only a very brief "Hmm" and then silence. He very quietly takes stock of the situation, saying "Vegetta, no" and wondering aloud why Leo didn't defend herself. In chat, Foolish says "It was a bug, right? LAG" to which Vegetta slowly responds "Yes, lag. Bug." (Despite this, Foolish still asks "WHAT HAPPENED" in chat, though Vegetta doesn't reply).

Instead, he creates a slightly wider space in the tunnel where Leo's body is. He continues quietly taking stock of the situation, wondering why Leo didn't defend herself (which is what necessitated his intervention). She'd been lagging a lot that day, and he figures that must be the cause, and eventually when Leo re-appears out of thin air in the middle of the cave and collects her stuff, she confirms that the lag got to her and that's why she didn't fight the mob.

Now here's where things get interesting:

Vegetta checks the tab list. Online, it's just him, Leonarda, Roier, and Foolish. He quietly tells Leonarda "The body has already disappeared, and without a body, there is no crime. Nothing is happening. Did you die?" Leo shakes her head, and Vegetta shakes his head too, and in the kind voice he uses sometimes with Leo, he says: "I believe you have not died. Where is the body? It isn't anywhere, no mija. If it was a mistake, it was a mistake."

Leo says: "I saw Diosito (God) pa, and I was scared. God, what am I doing here?" and Vegetta laughs, telling her it's alright. Leo says "No pasa nada (don't worry / nothing happened)" and Vegetta says: "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." To Foolish and Roier, he messages: "Secreto."

And the funniest thing about this is it worked.

Not a single person spoke about it. I saw this entire event go down live and I didn't see a WHISPER of what transpired among fans. I can't even remember if the QSMP official accounts talked about it (they sure didn't mention it in Vegetta's recap of the day). We could discuss this in meta terms of course– Leo was having known lag issues that day, Vegetta's beloved by the admins so of course they're willing to turn a blind eye rather than slap a "?" over Leonarda's life on the Eggstatistics, but meta talk isn't what I'm interested in here.

I'm interested in q!Vegetta, the weird "god-adjacent" aura he's got, and the way the universe bends to his will.

Before he took a break from the server, Rubius seemed to be a caretaker for the Eggs who died (for example, he was present when Maxo, Quackity, and Mariana & Slime said their final goodbyes to Trumpet, Tilin, and JuanaFlippa). Because of his role as an "angel" and some of his dialogue during the early days of the server, it's not a stretch to say he probably came to collect any Egg who lost a life. I can imagine he did the same when he saw Leonarda die – that is, until Vegetta said "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." Realistically, we know Vegetta was saying this to Chat (and possibly the admins as well), but again, we're looking at this from an "in-universe" perspective.

I wonder if Vegetta was aware of Rubius' role, and this was his way of telling Rubius "No. I won't allow that to happen." We know Rubius has a soft-spot for Vegetta (and we also know that Rubius was cast out of heaven several months later) so it makes me wonder if these two instances are connected.

Either way, this isn't the first time the laws of the QSMP universe have bent for Vegetta, and I certainly don't think it'll be the last.

Rubius or no, Leo didn't die that day.

Vegetta made sure of it.

#i talk #QSMP talk #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #I FOUND IT #I wrote this post TWO MONTHS AGO #MAYBE LONGER!!!#I had clips and links prepared but I have no idea where those went #I'm not gonna bother saving this as a draft and risk losing it again #I have nearly 70000 drafts on my main blog but by some miracle this got saved in my art blogs' drafts instead #than the stars #Anyways. Leo was killed by a whale a few days later because Foolish was in the bathroom lmao #''powerful god-adjacent man who bends the laws of the universe'' vs. ''man whose entire life is a series of sitcom episodes''#I still really want to write out that ''QSMP genre'' thought I had ages ago. It's still relevant and always will be relevant #but anyways #I wrote this months ago on very little sleep but DANG. It's a banger.#I miss writing analysis stuff I wish I was in a headspace where I could do this more like I used to #QSMP analysis

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comradekatara · 2 months

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I just read your rant about zukka and it made me think what if zuko’s obsession with sokka has to do with the fact that sokka in some ways encompasses some of the traits that have been forced on Zuko since he was young like the whole killing without mercy or remorse and the need for control and the strategic thinking. But Sokka uses these skills no to try and rule the world but to help aang stop Ozai. I haven’t watched atla in a while but your analyses help me realize a lot of details that I missed about it was he characters

yeah i’ve talked before about how sokka and azula being so similar must be kind of a mindfuck for zuko because sokka has “a killer instinct that’s just so fire nation” but also he’s literally friends with the bald baby pacifist monk avatar who says shit like “do you think we could’ve been friends too?” and so zuko clearly has no idea what to think. like he and azula were both indoctrinated into this world that valued certain traits and dogmas over others (ie, sokka’s over aang’s) and so azula sees sokka as more of a threat.

it’s funny because obviously sokka and zuko’s first encounter is sokka getting his ass handed to him by a guy who doesn’t even care that he’s in his way, but also that scheme is pretty immediately disrupted by sokka’s boomerang. and then the next time they meet, sokka has actually spent time training under someone (instead of fumbling around in the dark by himself) and can now hold his own far better. and every single encounter after that sees sokka not only rising to zuko’s level, but surpassing him, fighting him, foiling his plans, advocating to leave him for dead, ignoring him, dismissing him.

even at the western air temple, sokka is the liaison who welcomes him into the group (the designated “leadership” role comes with more responsibilities than simply assassinating assassins), but he also makes it pretty clear that he doesn’t care for or trust zuko throughout “the firebending masters,” even if his manner of bullying is far less overtly malicious than katara’s. and yet, zuko cannot discount him. zuko saw him kill combustion man. zuko understands his value to the group. zuko recognizes that quality he and azula share. zuko may have had an advantage over him the first time they met, but it sure didn’t last long. if azula and zuko have anything in common, it’s a mutual respect for sokka.

like, sokka is the only member of the gaang’s name azula actually says (aang is “the avatar,” katara is “peasant,” toph is [insert blind joke here], and suki is “my favorite prisoner”) and on the day of black sun, she elects to distract sokka first and foremost knowing that he’s their “leader.” and she does clearly respect him more than most people do because she can see herself in him (at least to some extent, i don’t think either of them are actually insightful enough to realize how deep that connection truly goes) and thus can recognize his worth as someone who is in a similar position, albeit on the opposite side.

zuko does say and aang and katara’s names (and appa’s), but sokka’s name is the first he says, and it’s really the only name he uses as a mode of address. and the matter of naming is clearly important to royal heirs, who are defined by their names and titles. we see that especially when zuko confuses ursa’s “remember who you are” with “remember your ancestry,” declaring who he is not as internal identity, but as title. to afford someone the respect of addressing them by name is to implicitly demonstrate respect for them.

this is further demonstrated by the fact that unlike “you just had to pick up the glowing egg” zuko of just an episode prior, zuko really does follow sokka’s leadership and places his complete faith in his abilities. there’s no complaining or backseat driving or undermining of his intentions, which is genuinely anomalous for zuko, who generally refuses to listen to anyone about anything (unless he’s being actively scared into submission, and even then he’s stood up to ozai multiple times). he’s not outspoken in these episodes, however. he is downright docile. and it’s because he genuinely believes sokka to be his superior. which isn’t to say that sokka isn’t better than he is, but like. aang is too and he doesn’t take his knowledge into account! because aang doesn’t represent the values that zuko strove to embody his entire life.

what’s more, i would imagine there’s something kind of satisfying, if not downright intriguing, about knowing someone who basically is what you aspire to be, who you were told you must be your entire life, and seeing that he is just. absolutely fucking miserable. like azula is also miserable, but zuko doesn’t know that (yet), because she hides it better. but sokka is genuinely suicidal (especially in these episodes). meeting this idealized standard of perfection you have always failed to reach and realizing that whatever standards you once (recently) held yourself to are actually deeply unfulfilling. that sokka isn’t “perfect,” that he actually considers himself a failure. and the fact that when he does fail, he considers it the end of the world because he never built up the resilience one gets from being a normal person who doesn’t always succeed on their first try. and zuko’s like “finally, something i have that he doesn’t: intimate knowledge of what it’s like to constantly fail and underperform and disappoint people!”

zuko is really perfectly equipped to support sokka in this situation, because he idolizes him enough to provide him with the unconditional support sokka feels fundamentally undeserving of, and also understands sokka’s misery enough to give him actually meaningful advice when it matters. what’s interesting about how zuko feels about sokka is that it’s not just about uncritically putting him on a pedestal for being Nice Azula or whatever, it’s also about zuko’s genuine desire to help sokka and protect him.

yue inhabits the martyr role that sokka has always envisioned himself in, suki establishes herself as someone who is equally capable of protecting him and he can her, and zuko risks his life to support sokka on his crazy suicide mission, when sokka was so intent on going it alone because he wasn’t thinking clearly didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. sokka doesn’t need someone who treats him like an irreproachable god. in fact, i think sokka would hate nothing more than having a sycophant. he needs someone who understands that he is fallible and vulnerable and needs help like any human being does, and respects and trusts and admires him anyway.

zuko doesn’t have the capacity to recognize azula’s insecurities and shortcomings, or the desire to help her, but he does for sokka. because he never felt like he was in a position where he had to compete for something against him. he’s not trying to usurp sokka’s role as “leader” (except for whatever was going on in “sozin’s comet,” but that’s for another post) and is happy to simply follow him, in a way that is genuinely uncharacteristic for him.

and you can say that it’s because zuko is gay and stupid (which wouldn’t be wrong, per se), but it’s also because sokka embodies everything zuko ever thought he had to be. and it’s because sokka doesn’t even care. it’s the recognition that one person’s idealized model of behavior is another’s burden. that if zuko had been “perfect” like sokka, he never would’ve gained the wisdom to accept defeat and not let it deter him. perfect like azula, who, like sokka, shatters in the face of failure.

zuko says as much in “the siege of the north,” and again in “the western air temple.” the fact that he isn’t a prodigy, the fact that he “had to struggle and fight” to achieve what little he has, is “what made me who i am.” so he’ll respect sokka, of course, because sokka is who he wished for so long that he could be. but he’ll also support sokka, because he has just enough distance from the situation to recognize that he’s not an island (even if sokka himself is convinced that he must be). so it’s not obsession, per se, nor is it simply uncritical admiration that confuses excellence for infallibility. it’s unconditional support born of understanding, a sort of empathy. it’s devotion.

#xxzavier42 #asks #sokka #zuko #azula #sokkaxzuko #azula&sokka #azula&zuko #analysis #at some point i gotta stop saying ‘whoops i wrote way more than i thought i would!!! teehee’#and recognize that this is simply my modus operandi #i love to ramble …. lol #also when i call sokka the ‘leader’ its with the caveat that I think the designation of leadership is kind of flawed #but that’s definitely how azula and zuko see it #and in the most traditional sense that’s what he is #but not always.#i need to finish and post my essay on katara and sokka gifted kidism….#anyway. zucchini good 👍🏼

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siren-of-agony · 5 months

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Answers to "please stop"

No.

I can't.

I won't.

I don't want to.

I don't know how.

I will soon.

But then how will you learn?

We're almost done.

It's almost over.

Ask me again!

Oh well, if you're asking that politely…

Fine. For now.

Only once I've come up with something more fun.

Only once you've come up with something more fun.

Or what?

I know you can go a little bit longer.

You know I won't.

I love it when you beg.

I hate it when you beg.

I'm so bored by your begging.

Not until you're too weak to ask me to.

But I don't have anything better to do.

I wish I could.

Alright! See? All you had to do was ask nicely.

I'm not doing anything.

What, exactly?

Just once more, I promise!

Just once more, I promise! (🤞)

You're doing this to yourself.

You wanted this.

You want this.

You know you made me do this.

Are you ready to give me what I want, then?

I will once you give in.

What will you give me in return?

Why should I?

You know there is only one way to end this.

You know there is only one way this will end.

(Answers to "it hurts")

#whump #whump dialogue prompt #whump dialogue #whump prompt #whumblr #i had 2 ppl request a part two to the it hurts one #and i couldnt come up w enough stuff i liked #so here #have this instead #I wrote this all down yesterday when i was trying to fall asleep and i kept coming up w new things so i just kept unlocking my phone and #writing stuff down #i thought i had way less than last time but it's actually much more #granted i rly leaned into the differences just slight wording changes make #also i feel like half of these would do so much better with some sort of term of endearment stapled onto theme #them #so when reading them just imagine some of them with a darling or a sweetheart or a honey tacked onto them bc that's how i imgined them #also if these writing prompts end up on kinblr again and someone accuses me of forgetting safe words just know i'm gonna break into your #house and put mustard in your shoes

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mae-i-scribble · 1 year

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tonight i was thinking about orv’s theme about how yjh as a character, and to a larger extent people, will in some ways always be unknowable. (orv spoilers following, read at your own risk)

i feel like i’ve seen a few posts on here that somewhat take this theme to an extreme, leaning *hard* into that “kdj doesn’t actually know yjh like at all” which while on the right track, i feel completely misses the point. Orv goes out of its way to showcase that kdj actually understands yjh to a scary degree, even once they’re out of the early scenarios and the gap between kdj’s knowledge and yjh’s personhood grows larger, there are still things about yjh that *only* kdj can fundamentally understand. And I don’t think that the novel does anything to discredit that understanding, only says that there is much more to yjh. In the same manner, even if you’ve known someone for years, spent all your time with them, there can and will always be new things for you to learn about them. The danger that orv speaks of is trusting in that assumption, that your understanding will be enough and you don’t have to keep an eye out for more developments. That the person you know will forever stay the same. And this isn’t a kdj problem either, fundamentally a lot of the big disagreements that happen between kdj and yjh in the latter half of the novel are born from both of them misconstruing what the other is thinking, trusting that their understanding of the other is deep enough to base their judgements off of. (Post first murim destruction, divorce arc, yjh thinking kdj scattered his soul on purpose, etc.)

As always with orv’s themes, we can view it in a meta sense as well. Kdj’s understanding of yjh as a character is so complete that it’s nearly flawless- until the story begins to deviate and a yjh grows outside the parameters that kdj’s judgements are based on. Even before then, there was always more to yjh- but as readers, we can only understand a character as much as we see them. What you come away with from a story is your complete understanding, there is no growth outside of those boundaries because then it wouldn’t be an understanding of *that* character, you would be putting your own ideas and such into it. But talk to another person, and suddenly the same character you understand so clearly becomes someone else. Talk to the author, and they say something completely different. And can one truly claim to understand a character when the story will never talk about them in every conceivable way? What does it take to truly understand such a thing? Learning that 1863rd round hsy wrote ways of survival with such limited resources and knowledge on who yjh even is, and yet despite it all, still manages to write a story that captures so much of his essence. As orv readers, we know it isn’t everything- it could never encapsulate all of yjh, but the idea that even when one knows nearly nothing, you can still put on a facade of understanding.

We can get into a chicken or the egg argument with this, as 1863!hsy dictates how yjh acts with her writing, and that yjh in the 1863rd round is the one she comes to know before ever starting this story, but when it comes to this theme of the unknowable in the people around us, I don’t think this sort of debate is worth much. We know that yjh exists outside the story written, and how much of him is determined by hsy’s writing is negligible because no matter what, he always grows beyond it. Whether as 1864 or secretive plotter, it all comes back to that same point of there is always more to see within a person.

I don’t know quite where I want to go with this, only that I wanted an outlet for some of these thoughts inside my head, but one of the best things about this theme for me is how it answers itself. When the people around you become unrecognizable, what should you do? And orv says to reach out. To try. To understand. Kdj loses access to omniscient reader several times but always, always gains it back in orv (as far as i remember), because at the end of the day, he is not someone who stays trapped in his idea of who he knows yjh to be. Yjh too, even at the end of orv, is trying to learn more and more about kdj. Only when you are willing to hear out the other person, to learn about them every day, does this unknowable aspect become something less daunting.

#orv #omniscient reader #omniscient readers viewpoint #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #joongdok #meta #analysis #it just kinda ended up kdj and yjh focused because this is what the theme is most applicable too #i wish i had more thoughts on how 1863 wrote WoS bc that definitely fits in here more than what i said about it #i think too it can be applied to ysa and kdj #while not as relevant as it is with yjh since their relationship doesnt stretch back as far #they still spend so much of this novel learning more and more about each other #compared to back at minosoft where at least to me it looked like they already had an idea of who the other was as a person #so sorry if this is disjointed i need to stop writing meta as 3 am #in my defense its the only time my thoughts come out like this #on the verge of sleep #orv spoilers #omniscient reader spoilers #i forgot them early on my bad

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celluloidbroomcloset · 6 months

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Narratively, Izzy’s arc only ends two ways - his redemption and death, or his full immersion as a villain. This is going off from what is discussed in this post by @areyoudoingthis, but I didn't want to start writing essays on someone else's post.

The problem of redeeming antagonists is that it’s often in the eleventh hour, and often not emotionally satisfying because it ignores or discards the violence (emotional, psychological, or physical) done by them earlier in order to give them a saving grace.

In the case of OFMD, Izzy suffers, and he suffers as a direct result of the choices he made and the consistent violence he inflicted on Ed and on others. He becomes beloved by the Kraken crew because they see him suffering along with them, and using what little influence he has to try to stop Ed from descending further. But that doesn’t erase what Izzy has done, which is born out by the attitudes of Stede’s crew and Izzy's continued isolation from them until the unicorn and even after.

Does Izzy bear the brunt of Ed’s direct physical violence? Yeah, he does. He's the only one that Ed physically harms (and the cutting off of toes and limbs seems to be a leaveover from Hornigold, as Ed performs the role of the monstrous father who tortured him). That suffering is part of the redemption narrative. It is one of the narrative conceits for Izzy to atone for his sins.

(Please note - I am talking about narrative conventions and how the show is using them, not making a moral judgment on characters' actions.)

Again, narratively, Izzy being the target makes sense. He has systematically tried to deny or eliminate every spark of happiness in Ed’s life. He has tried to have Stede killed multiple times, all of them either by Ed or in front of Ed. He has allied with a repressive regime, itself the biggest villain in the show, that wants all pirates dead or in chains. Failing all that, he has attacked Ed in the only safe space he has - Stede’s cabin - and told him that if he doesn’t turn into the caricatured monster of Blackbeard, then Izzy will KILL him.

He has zero claim on Ed’s mercy and Ed shows him none, not least because Ed's descent is exactly what Izzy insisted on from the very start. Ed, half mad with grief and self-loathing, directs his hostility at his jailer and at himself.

All of that sets up a redemption arc, but how much does Izzy touch on his own culpability? He tells Stede that Ed "took my leg because I dared to mention your fucking name," which is not true. Izzy blames the toxic atmosphere on the ship not on himself and not even on Ed, but on Stede. It is Ed's feelings about Stede - his namby-pamby, pining for his boyfriend feelings - that Izzy thinks have created this violence. And Ed shoots him for suggesting it. Izzy misses his role entirely, that Ed was in fact in the depths of grief but not a violent suicidal spiral when Stede left him.

It may be that Izzy does indeed recognize his role at this point, but he's not admitting it - the furthest he goes is to say that "we did this to him," but he never fully defines what that means, and in this case he's appealing to Stede to save the crew.

Later, when Stede reappears and Ed recovers, it is quite obvious that Ed himself is still angry and still hurt and still distrusting, but the mere mention of Stede's name or sight of Stede's face doesn't send him into a rage. Stede was the source of his grief, but Stede and Ed's feelings for him did not cause the toxic atmosphere on that ship.

Throughout, Izzy does indeed begin to find redemption. He accepts the crew's offering of love, and he begins to express himself outside of Ed and Blackbeard. He decides to move on from what Ed did to him (and he cannot really control if Ed decides to forgive him for his part). He offers sympathy to Stede, and support for their relationship. His suffering is part of that arc, and it is a function of Ed's arc - Ed cutting off the gangrenous limb to save himself. But we never see Izzy taking on the blame for his earlier behavior. Unlike Ed, we don't see him working through, or trying to work through, the pain he caused others and what that says about himself. Which makes sense - Izzy is a secondary character, not the lead. His healing matters less to the narrative than Ed's, and his characterization from the beginning is not of a man given to introspection or longing for something different. Him suddenly embracing Lucius or being really kind to Stede wouldn't make sense.

The only possible narrative conclusion here is for Izzy to die. He cannot continue to exist in the same space as Ed. His character cannot continue to interfere with Ed's healing and relationship with Stede. The show gives him peace and love, and it gives him an opportunity to tell Ed to let go (though, again, he cannot control Ed letting go, and he cannot and should not be the character who "gives" Ed his family - Ed already had that). It allows him to suffer so that he can indeed have redemption that doesn't happen in the eleventh hour, and an arc that feels moving and satisfying, in which Ed crying for him (Ed, who did not care when Izzy got thrown off the ship in Season 1) has resonance. But it was always going to end like this.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #izzy hands #edward teach #ed teach #stede bonnet #gif #ofmd meta #tw: abuse #sorry i wrote way more than i thought i would #i may be repeating myself or others #but this just all came out #as always thoughts are appreciated #though i will block rude people

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bloompompom · 10 months

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Not a request or anything! But what would husband! Eren do if he walked in on his wife masturbating when he gets home?

ooooooweeee i love opening tumblr to this! 😍

content: f!reader, smut, voyeurism, pornography, jealousy, 18+ only

he was hoping to surprise you by coming home early. you weren’t expecting him for another few hours, evident by the stillness of the house. the thought crossed his mind to scare you (because he’s a punk), but before he was even halfway down the hall, he heard a soft buzzing. a vibrating.

it was an infamous sound, one he recognized well. ears perked like a dog, eren followed the sound, closing in on the bedroom door, warm light seeping into the hallway through the crack.

he kept his steps light, lighter than ever before. not even the floor boards gave him away; he only made out that electric him and the soft huffs of your breaths. He stayed long enough to hear them melt into moans, sweetening by the second.

he knew he shouldn’t linger. it was a bit perverted of him, wasn’t it? but fuck, he just couldn’t help himself. you were his wife—his beautiful one at that. it was as if he was frozen in place, unwilling to leave but unable to move even an inch.

the front of his jeans felt tight, and he hadn’t even seen a glimpse of you. eren reached to adjust himself, but before he knew it, he was palming over his cock. unknowingly, too, his body desperate for any relief, even if it is through layers of clothing.

and when he finally decided to make himself known, ready to please you because he knew he could do it faster than your vibrator, he wasn’t sure if it was you or him that was more surprised.

eren expected you’d startle, that you’d curse but let him join you anyway. but what he didn’t expect was to see you lock and shove your phone to the bed, screen down. that intrigued him more.

heart thumping, for more reasons than one, you tore the blanket over yourself with a shriek. “shit, eren! don’t—”

“what were you watching?”

he was boyish with it, smugness curling at the corner of his mouth. the back of your neck started to burn.

“nothing,” you answered, more or less like a kid caught with a hand in the cookie jar.

you knew you shouldn’t be ashamed; he was your husband, but that didn’t make it any less jarring.

of course he didn’t believe you. and you were about to kick him out to collect yourself before he started coming closer until he rested a hand at the end of your bed.

“let me see it,” eren urged. his tone changed, now honey-coated and low. “i wanna see what you want me to do to you.”

your gut reaction was to say no, but your lips tightened in thought. he found you at a weak, very weak, moment, still achy with need. then here was your husband, bedroom eyes and all, crawling into bed with you, ready to fuck and fulfill you.

you went with it—with him. you reached for your phone, unlocked it, and played the video from where you left off.

you watched it together, sort of. your eyes shifted from the video to him. you’d never seen anyone study porn so intently. eren took the phone from you, holding it with both hands as he watched. you couldn’t read his expression.

another minute dragged by, your stomach knotting the entire time. eventually, eren closed out of the video but kept your phone close.

he still had that unreadable look on his face as he turned to you, eyes no longer darkened with lust but something else.

eren kissed you before you could decide on it—yanked the blanket off you and peeled your top over your head before you could register his lips on yours. because of the compromising situation he found you in, you were in just your underwear as he flipped you onto your stomach, much like the woman in the video. he took you by your hips, raising them so he could hastily slip your panties down your legs.

“you don’t need to be watching that shit,” he grunted, punctuating it with a smack on your ass. your back arched on instinct.

eren hadn’t made a single move to undress himself. he only propped your phone up in front of you, its camera lens fixed on the two of you.

“let me give you something that’s worth watching.”

#you spoil me #i wrote more than i thought but hnnnng this prompt got me #eren smut #eren x reader

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thebroccolination · 1 month

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THE EX-MORNING SERIES CONCEPT

By now I think many people have heard that KristSingto’s upcoming series is an original script that was written for them. What we also have confirmed is that it was written about them.

[source]

KRIST: This series was written by P'Backaof and directed by P'Lit where they created this script from the start deliberately for the two of us and they got information for the characters etc. from KristSingto directly. In the series, the name for P'Sing is Tamtawan, and my name is Phatapi. And Tamtawan Tamtawan and Phatapi are KristSingto themselves.

INTERVIEWER: Does that mean you play yourself?

KRIST: [laughing] Yes, we act as ourselves, so it's not difficult at all.

Today, Aof elaborated on his part on Twitter:

[source: @backaof]

[translation: @_beinglistener]

And Jojo added:

[source: @jojotichakorn]

[translation: @_beinglistener]

So, two gay men are the leading creative minds behind KristSingto’s comeback series. Time to study up on your KristSingto history, kids. \:D/

Long live sanctioned RPF. 🎉

#krist perawat #singto prachaya #kristsingto #the ex morning #i’ve already seen the same tired ‘guess rent was due’ about krist and #i see on twitter when people link my thread about krist to people still insisting he’s homophobic #man’s rich #he works constantly #he even said it’s something he regrets now that his grandmother who raised him passed away #he worked so much he didn’t have as much time for his family—who he helps support #he is quite literally considered bl royalty #he has more queer people in his circle than straight #waa (gay) is his mentor #aof (gay) wrote this series and jojo (gay) thought up the concept so even professionally he's supported by queer people #you don’t have to like him #and you don’t have to admit to sending death threats to a stranger who doesn’t speak your language based on rumors you didn’t verify #just y’know #admit quietly to yourself alone in your head that you were wrong and you caused harm to a person who didn’t deserve it #plenty of actors use bl as a stepping stone to bigger jobs #he’s not one of them #he wanted to do bl for years but gmmtv told him he could only work with singto #so literally the only reason kit didn’t do bl until BMF was scheduling issues because singto wanted to study abroad #and singto couldn’t get a fixed date for it and then the pandemic messed with his plans even more #i’m glad to see more and more people are understanding who krist is recently #and even in the series they made pathapi’s controversy an impulsive act of anger #krist has said he used to struggle with being hotheaded #and one of his apologies for the igs was even something like ‘i acted without thinking of how it would look out of context’#he just wanted people to stop harassing him for his sexuality but the context isn’t in the igs #anyway my go-to when i’m too tired to talk about this is always this #if he had ever been homophobic thai people would be the ones leading the charge against him…but it’s interfans

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astraystayyh · 3 months

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here is the essay that no one asked for because long for you is my fav hyunjin song and one of my all time favorite songs (it spoke to the yearner in me)

first the hauntingly beautiful melody 😭 as soon as i heard the whistles in the beginning i thought of the melancholic chirping of birds that feels like they’re calling out to someone who is far out of their reach, and it just sets the tone for this excruciating nostalgia throughout the song, for a time that has passed that we cannot go back to again.

at the beginning i thought this was about longing for a loved one but when hyunjin said that it’s about ‘missing your past that has lost its shine, and therefore longing for everything from back then’ the song just got more devastating for me, because (imo) this song is about longing for a past version of yourself that you lost and that you had to relinquish and that you never wished to part from, and hyunjin weaved this yearning for someone who technically doesn’t exist anymore so so well :,)

When was the last time we walked side by side

to me this could be about this kind of dichotomy that you feel within yourself when you can no longer recognize who you are and when you kind of lose sense of what you love and who you wish to be. And you no longer feel as if your past selves and your present ones are in harmony, walking side by side, but rather that your present self tries to go backwards to reach for your past self when the only possible trajectory for it is to go forward

In the faded photo, I come across a smile. Spread across a youthful face, overlapped with the seasons.

again with the longing for your past self, clinging to photos that have faded with how much time has passed and yet you still wish for the smile you had, long ago, to come once again. i relate to this so much because there was a time where i looked back to my old photos and i just missed how smiling came so easily to me back then instead of feeling like a chore. a smile that once withstood the changing seasons, but that is now a simple memory

The night’s so cold that it’s almost unreal. I wake up in another silence, and I close my eyes

hyunjin and the loneliness that only manifests at night :(( just like in cover me he manages to perfectly convey the cold and daunting feelings that come with being lonely,, also the act of waking up and closing your eyes right after, as if you wish to wake up in any reality but your own

The white flower we planted together has bloomed. I do not dare pick it. Now it withers away

OHHH this one had a little (huge) kick to it, this verse is just so poetic and so full of emotions im unwell :(( white often symbolizes purity and beginnings and its referencing to a time where your existence wasn’t tainted by anything, to the very beginnings when everything was well, back when you had enough will and happiness to care for something, to plant a flower. and now that flower has bloomed, but you do not dare to pick it because it is the last string tying you back to that time you longed for, so you leave it there, afraid that once you’d touch it then you’d soil it with everything that makes up your current self. but by doing so, the flower withers away, and i feel as if this last line plants a seed of hope, of light in a very melancholic song. that by longing for the past and forgetting the present all you do is harm the flower, harm yourself. that you shouldn’t forget your present self while reminiscing the one that faded away

So I long for you. And I long for you. And I'll long for you. So I can keep loving you. So I could be loving you. And morе.

THIS PARTTTTT!!!! this is The Part that gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes,,, hyunjin’s vocals throughout the song were so mellow, so soft, so tender to hear, yet so melancholic at the same time. but this part. THIS PART. this feels like floating atop the pool on a warm summer afternoon and you are hit by this wave of nostalgia for a moment that has yet to pass, because you know that you will miss this instant right here, and that you might comeback to this exact same pool next summer, and the one after it, but things would have inadvertently changed AND IT’S SOOOO 💔💔💔 especially the part where the music quiets down and all you can hear is his voice and then THE VIOLIN PICKS UP and it feels as if he’s tugging with my heartstrings and he’s harmonizing with himself and it’s all so HEART WRENCHING in the most beautiful way, like this is the embodiment of yearning.

i got carried away but as for the lyrics this part also makes me wanna cry and weep because it’s so full of hope?? of moving forth?? instead of longing for who you were and letting it hinder you, you long for who you were and behold it as a compass to love your present self, because past or future you are you, and if you loved who you were at one point of time, if you were at peace with who you once were then you can and you will love who you are now too. and i’m so 💔💔💔 also him harmonizing with himself ties it all together like the only person you got is yourself and it reminds me of THE PAINTING 😭😭😭😭😭😭

yes this isn’t over yet. the painting. The Painting. THE PAINTING. hyunjin hugging himself, burying his face in the crook of his neck i am too sensitive for this. i am no art expert but i am always at awe of the way hyunjin plays with colors and lighting and shadows, even if you aren’t well versed in paintings you can still feel the emotions hyunjin wants to portray and it’s all so.. special to me. all his works deserve to be hung in an art exposition

also i feel like this cover painting is the continuation of the one he shared some time ago, they look very alike and the color scheme resembles one another

i just love how hyunjin writes and produces and draws the covers of his songs like 🥹 i’d never tire of saying that he is the embodiment of art

#this is just my interpretation please dont come for me i just like sharing my thoughts #i just think.. to be able to convey loneliness and longing this beautifully and in such relatable way you must have experienced it yourself #so i hope more than anything that hyunjin always knows that he is loved #so loved #and that his existence alone brightens my own :#:’)#sahar's.thoughts <3 #also wrote this while waiting for my dentist so might be very incoherent ANSJSJ

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