#I wouldve just minded my business but she was a friend of a friend and I couldnt let that rock on her page unchecked.

[ninmnoi]

— Stop, you’re losing me.

mingyu x reader || angst.

summary ; trying to save an already failing relationship is a lot harder when he forgets your birthday.

(not proof read lol)

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Its your birthday, you’ve never made a big deal about it tell you met him. You still remember his shocked face and loud “WHAT” when you told him you dont found your birthday a big deal, its just another day. Ever since then, he always celebrated your birthday in fun surprises and dinners. He made it so important and meaningful for you, and the big part of that is because you know he’ll be there.

So your nothing short of despair when its past 5pm and he hasnt once messaged you. It’d be another thing if he just didnt message happy birthday, you wouldve been okay with goodmoring.

You sigh putting your phone down, bitting your lip as your eyes water. It shouldnt be this serious, you’ve never even cared about your birthday before, so why dose it hurt so bad now?

Mingyu

That god damn Mingyu.

He used to be such a soft spoken soul, aiding to your needs as you do with him, those first few years of your relationship. He confessed to you in your own backward, he put his effort and time into it. You can even smell the flowers that lead to Mingyu, see the lights that brightened his soft smile, that swift hair and tall figure standing nervously fiddling with the bouquet in his hands. And who could forget the blush that tainted his face and ears, tears threatening to jump out after you said “yes.”

Now, your even lucky if he stays with you a whole day. Its always this or that driving him away. When he left your sisters engagement dinner because a friend of his needed help moving in, or when he canceled a date because he forgot a “really super duper important project” as he said. The nights he wouldnt call, the empty king bed. The second toothbrush that hasnt been moved in 2 weeks.

It drove you insane, but you still gave him the benefit of the doubt.

“Maybe he’s busy”

“Hes probably sleeping”

“God his phone must’ve died”

Your friends would yell at you over text, spamming you with the reality check you needed, but never could deposit. After pacing around the kitchen trying to ignore the cute cake you bought with a sad candle slowly sinking into it. You pick up your phone and call him.

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

*click!*

Did he just hang up on you..?

No, he would have to be crazy.

You call again.

Same fucking thing, even quicker just 2 rings in.

You open his contact info, trying to see where his location would put him.

“No Location Found.” You curse, what is he hiding? Your mind leads to the one scenario you’ve been dreading, infidelity. The thought of him cheating makes you wanna throw up, but sadly its a most common event. You’re just so done with everything, putting the cake away into the fridge and changing clothes. Its now 6:42pm and with the major headache you have, you simply decided to sleep it off. Hugging the build-a-bear Mingyu bought you a year back, it muffles your sobs, soaking in the tears.

It’s cold and dark when your awaken by an extra weight adjusting it’s self onto the right side of the bed. You recognize it all to well. Mingyu pulls the covers over himself, giving you a small peck on the tip of your ear.

“You’re home” you say, your drowsy and hurt voice clear.

“Yeah- im sorry im so late” he whispers to you

“There's cake in the fridge”

“Cake? For what”

You sigh, “My birthday”

You can hear his breathe hitch.

“Fuck- Baby im so sorry. I didnt mean to forget. I was just so bus-.”

You sit up.

“Busy,? from what? So busy you couldnt even text? Because clearly it wouldnt have taken as much time as hanging up on me and turning off your location did. So if ‘busy’ is some new slang for ignoring then that makes way more sense.”

“I didnt even know you called, i swear. My location should be on babe.. I” He mumbles on

“Then whos hanging up on me? Making sure i dont know where your at? Is she fun?”

Mingyu’s eyes widen

“What are you talking about?”

“Her, you know.. Is she attractive? What is it huh? Skinner than me? Or maybe blonder? Or is because you dont need to be responsible for her?

“Baby no, its none of that.” He grabs your shoulders.

“I love you, calm down”

“How can i?” You exclaim, jumping off the bed.

“You missed my birthday! I waited for you like some stupid dog! I felt so stupid.”

“I dont understand, birthdays were never that big of a deal for you”

“They werent until you made it a problem! Now look at me” you say, the tear stained face and puffy cheeks evident.

Mingyu gets up, walking over to you.

“I know ive been distant, let me make it up to you”

“Where were you tonight?”

He stays quiet for a moment, taking a deep breathe

“My friend he uh… invited me to a club” he quietly says.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Okay..?”

“Mingyu, get out”

“What?” His heart drops.

“Get out! Did the club music deafen you?? I want you gone” You yell, tears streaming down your face as you push him out. Though you have little to no affect of moving his body, it makes it all the more depressing.

“Okay…Okay..” He quietly says, grabbing his phone off the dresser. Looking down at you with remorseful eyes. His heart aching at the messed up state your in. And its because of him, god.

You slam the door behind him, locking it. You sigh before faintly walking back to your bed.

And theres your build-a-bear, ready to be hugged and to soak all your tears again.

Atleast, that comforts you.

#xreader #mingyu #oneshot #angst #mingyu x reader #seventeen #seventeen x reader #mingyu smut

[musicoftheheart]

as promised, i present: “missed connections”

im still quite ill and my voice absolutely died by the second verse so the high notes sound awful, but i didnt want to make you guys wait any longer (im also not looking for criticism so id appreciate noone pointing out any flaws—its still a work in progress. and a reminder my pronouns are they/he/she :) )

i plan to wait until im properly rested and recovered before i send the song to her, but when i do you guys will be the first to know!

lyrics and context below the break

lyrics:

weve had a thousand missed connections but i still made it through to you

in other worlds we met before but no such luck for you—

and i, weve only just had our beginning

but im hoping that our end is years to come

both born part raised in england, both moved up here at just three

go to the same school but ill join six months after you leave

we share friends, but we're never introduced

so our lives two lines remain apart, side by side but never cross

we'll carry on without each other's heart

weve had a thousand missed connections but i still made it through to you

in other worlds we met before but no such luck for you—

and i, weve only just had our beginning

but im hoping that our end is years to come

now weve both moved onto high school but weve still missed one another

you almost joined me in our last years but one thing led to another

and you, you moved away to the big city

while i stayed here all alone

chasing loves who never loved me

not realising that ive yet to meet the one

weve had a thousand missed connections but ive still made it through to you

in other worlds we met before but no such luck for you—

and i, weve only just had our beginning

but im hoping that our end is years to come

i was an arrogant ass

you were loud and bold but hiding

somewhere along the way we changed

and suddenly we're minding—

our own business, when one day we met the one

now im sitting in my bedroom, writing down this song

weve had a thousand missed connections but i still made it through to you

in other worlds we met before but no such luck for you—

and i, weve only just had our beginning

but im hoping that our end is years to come

yeah im hoping that our end is years to come

background:

so, as the song says, throughout our lives weve had a bunch of 'missed connections', where we were a hair's breadth from meeting but just missed each other.

we were both born in england and moved to the same area of scotland at the same age, but i attended a different school at first. by the time i moved to the other school, she had just left six months before.

despite that, we shared a lot of the same friends, moreso as we got older but still a few when we were young. our friends mentioned us in passing to each other but not very often.

in high school, i had to transfer again because the school i went to didnt have the final two yeargroups, and she went through the same thing. it was planned that she and i would attend the same school, but there were some issues between her and a few other students that meant she had to go elsewhere.

now, we've both left school and ended up meeting online. we got talking and realised just how much in common we had (both took drama for only one year, in the same year [so if we'd have gone to the same high school, we wouldve definitely, no doubt about it, interacted through class], both enjoyed the same hobbies, had similar music taste etc) and then realised how many times we almost met.

then i went and had a crush, got overly attached, and wrote a song :)

#original music #music #songwriting #songwriter #singer songwriter #me singing #singer #guitar #queer community #queer love #lgbtqia

[starkeyletters]

•̩̩͙⁺𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 P3

N.P.S.O.M Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Warnings - 18+, Mature theme, Drug & substance use, Violence, smut, mental illnesses, crime, cheating, toxic relationships, accident, injury, etc.

Wordcount - 3k+

Pairing - 𝑅𝐴𝐹𝐸 𝐶𝐴𝑀𝐸𝑅𝑂𝑁 x 𝙁𝙀𝙈 𝙊𝘾 [Reader] | 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙨 [ 𝑎𝑢 ]

Summary - Exs. Should stay exs. But when the pair cant seem to get off eachothers minds, things happen, mistakes are made.Its not like they changed, they were New people, making the same old mistakes.

A/n - Y/n is being

You shot up, Your eyes wide as the sun shined through the familiar blinds of the room. Your mind slowing remembering piece by piece the events of last night. Rafe on the other hand, was still sleeping peacefully next to you, some of the light coming in his door that was cracked open shining over his face. Your breathing got heavier by the second, you could've sworn you were having a panic attack.

Last night was a mistake, a huge mistake. You had sex with your ex. With Rafe. It was just hitting you.

You looked down at Rafe next to you, Your hand fell to his jawline, your fingers tracing over it then down his neck. Your eyes become tear-filled. Regret Filled within you.  This was wrong. So fucking wrong. All the progess you made to get over rafe flushed down the drain. Not only was it bad for you, it was worse for Rafe. The boy was already so hurt from the breakup, so damaged. God knows what this is going to do to him.

“No, no, no,” You whispered to yourself, getting out of his bed as best as you could without waking him. Picking your dress up off the floor, pulling it over your head. Your underwear nowhere to be found. You couldnt spend a moment more in that house, you had to leave. Plus your shift at the wreck was starting soon. Picking up the rest of your belongings, you tip-toed out of Rafes bedroom, closing the door behind you and taking a deep breath once you do so. 

Before your food hit the first step, you hesitated. Hesitated to leave. But why? It was a mistake, right? Hearing the voice of an older man, who you frigured to be Ward, Took you out of your hesitated state, causing you to go down the steps as fast as you could and get out of that house. You were almost sure that if you hadn't heard ward, you would've been running in the opposite direction. Back into Rafes room.

-

You were lucky enough to make it to your shift on time. Having to run through the downpour that soaked you. Even though you used your umbrella. The hurricane on its way was no joke. Your work friend, alice, covering for you. “What were you up to last night at the party, y/n? I didn't see you.” She smirked, you knew what she was implying. Shes been at you for weeks to start seeing someone knew, the last thing she wouldve thought was that you fucked your ex. 

Giving her a tight lip smile, you continued filling the beer from the tap for a customer sat at the bar, “Oh, i didn't go.” You lied. You trusted ali with your life, but you couldn't build up the courage to tell her about what happened last night. “Oh. You werent?” She began filling a glass of whiskey for a customer, “well, Sarah Stopped by,” She started, you felt your stomach drop. What did she tell her? Did she know?

“She did?” You replied, “She asked where you were. Said she was looking for where you went last night. Also said the pogues were worried, you didn't go back to the chateau or something?” You quickly nodded, Thankful this was something you could back up - and more than thankful at the fact she still had no clue you attended that party. 

“Right. I better go call her, i was with them before the party, i changed my mind of going when i got home. By the way, How was the party?” You asked, hoping your body language was too suspicious. “It was good… nothing too exciting,” She slipped past you, giving both drinks to each of the customers. The wreck wasn't busy today, since your shift started, 2, maybe three, people came in for just drinks. Locals, the same ones who showed up at the same time, everyday. it was shocking, it was a warm, sunny day out. Though, You figured most people were probably at the country club. 

Just then, you heard the bell above the door ring, meaning finally another customer. You stood up from leaning over the counter, grabbing a few menus, just incase, and walking towards the door. Not realizing who it was that walked in until you looked up.

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Meanwhile, not too long before.

Rafe was woken by the sound of his father in his doorway, yelling at him for The activities from last night at the party. His pillow being pushed down against his head in order to block out the noise of his annoying father shouting, until he remembered what happened, with you. He shot up in his bed, Ward shutting the door. He looked next to him to see nothing. You were gone. Why the hell did you leave?

The boy got out of bed, walking around to your side. Noticing the way you pulled the sheets up and fixed it as if he wouldn't be changing them. He also noticed, when he looked next to the bed at one of his nightstands which stood on the side you spend the night on, Your necklace. Specifically the necklace you told Rafe the meaning behind. It was the necklace you had from your mother who passed around the same time Rafes did.

The necklace had a R on it, for your moms name. But you also told rafe it meant for both his, and your mothers name. You liked to believe so. They were both such important people in your life. 

Rafe, Knowing how bad it was to keep the necklace from you, took it off the nightstand and he placed it in his pocket. He knew it was wrong, but he wasn't giving it back to you. At Least not yet. 

Rafe got dressed, in his striped blue polo and khaki shorts. With his jacket since the rain was coming down outside. The hurricane on its way was not shy of hiding it was coming. Not one bit. The sky was filled with dark rain cloud, and it was windier than ever. 

He knew where you worked, so he knew exactly where he was headed after he dealt with whatever shit his father needed him for. And if you weren't at work, he knew to check with your father at your house. Your father was like Rafes, even after you broke up. That's why you always spend time with the pogues. SInce your father is always out golfing, or doing something with Rafe. It annoyed you, . 

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Looking up, your eyes met Rafes, standing next to him was jack. It was a surprise to you, and alice, who stood at the counter, her mouth open, covered by her hand. Rafe hadnt step foot in the wreck since you broke up. Well, now, hooked up. But that's besides the point. Why was he here now? What more could he possibly want?

You swallowed, hard. But doing your best to give them a smile, “Welcome, Just the two of you?” They nodded, following behind you as you led them to a Both in the far right corner, seating them. Handing them the menus, Your hand was brushed over by Rafes, You couldn't keep his eyes off of you.

“U-uh, could i get you two started with drinks?” You pulled out your notebook, “ill take a beer, what about you Rafe?” Jack said, smirking agt Rafe from across the table. “Ill have a vodka soda,” He stated, shutting his menu. “Oh, do you think we could just order our food now too?” Jack laughed, You turned back around walking towards there table. “Sure, What would you guys like?” 

“Ill get the fried eggs, with the side of bacon. Oh, And could you add your friend over theirs number?” He asked, referring to alice. You cringed, writing down his order. “She has a boyfriend. But everything else sounds good,” you finish writing his order, ready to take Rafes when jack scoffs in annoyance regarding your reply. 

“I'm sorry, is there a problem? Because i'd be more than happy to show you the exit.” You smiled, crossing your arms as the boy shook his head. You, accepting his answer, turned to rafe, “I'm good with just the drink, thanks anyway, pretty girl.” Your face, turning a bright shade of pink at the nickname. You turned, “Ill be right back with your drinks.” And once again, You were stopped by a hand grabbing the wrist of your left arm, almost causing you to trip. 

You turned back around, for the second time. Your lips parted as you looked down at what Rafe was holding in his other hand. Your panties, Red lace ones from the night before, to be exact. He dangled them up in the air, everyone who was looking in that direction would have seen. “Was gonna keep ‘em, Thought you might have wanted them back though.” The boy had enough courage to smile as he shoved them into your pocket. Jack, on the other hand, was almost shitting himself from laughing. 

“Screw you.” You hissed, hot tears slipping down your cheeks, turning around and storming off back into the kitchen. ‘Yough already did, sweetheart.” Rafe yelled out. Alice watched the way you pushed past her, the look and tears on your face said everything she needed to know. “Motherfucker.” She whispered, watching as the two both in the booth sat laughing. Following behind you into the back where the staff kept these belongings. 

“I don't know what the fuck happened out there, but you can take the rest of the day off if you need to.” alice said, walking next to where you stood. You covered your red-tear filled face with your hands, sliding down the wall as alice followed. “Sh. it's ok. Hes just an obsessive ex, hes a jerk.” You couldn't help but shake your head. It wasn't even that

She was saying that, it was the fact you lied to her. She was the person you went to. And you couldn't even tell her what happened.

“Ill call my dad-” You sobbed, taking out your phone. Alice put her hand over yours. “I already did. He's on his way.” 

You bit your bottom lip, falling farther back against the locked door. “I'm sorry.” you sniffed, “I-i didn't think he'd come in here like this.” Your left hand flew to your face, wiping the tears that previously coated your face. “Its not your fault, Y/n. Exs suck. Plus, it was bound to happen at some point, he hasn't come in here since the two of you broke up.”

You shook your head, you couldn't stand yourself for lying to her. All you wanted to do was just break down and tell her every detail. “This is going to be fun to explain to my dad,” You laughed, “He treats Rafe like his son. He never believes a single thing I say about Rafe that isnt perfect..” 

Alice hissed, her teeth pushing together, “I could imagine. It wasn't my dad, but my mom, she was the exact same way with one of my exs. Sometimes he still comes over,” She pushed the damp cloth under your eyes and onto your cheeks. Wiping off any evidence that these were tears, or even the fact of you were crying. “You wanna take the back door out?” She removed the cold cloth from your face and you opened your eyes. You nodded, slowly pushing yourself up from the spot on the floor. 

“What are you gonna do about them?” You wiped down your skirt, picking your purse off of the floor. “Oh, don't worry. Just gonna let them sit there until they realize no one's serving them. They'll get the hint.`` You couldnt help the way you laughed at the situation that could cause someone here to lose their job, But they deserved it. Hearing a honk come from somewhere outside of the wreck, you knew it was your dad. 

“Thank you.” You mouthed, running out the door, Getting to your dads truck before you became soaked from the rain. You could've sworn the rain was coordinated with your emotions. When it Rains, it pours, that's for sure. 

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The Lights constantly flickered for the past few hours. Even For living on figure eight, it came as no surprise. 

“Y/N. Suppers ready.” You heard your stepmom yell from the bottom of the steps . Her and your Father were cooking a huge dinner, god knows why, guessing it was for leftovers once the storm hit. Yet, you had no clue how you would heat it up. The generator wasn't going to last for however long the power cuts out for. 

As you made your way down the stairs you could smell cookies being baked with the faint smell of what supper was. Sitting at the dining table your step-mother handed you a paper plate, with a slice of pizza on it from the pizza place on the boardwalk. “Didn't you guys make supper?” You questioned them, “We did. The food we made is for the storm, and so are the cookies being made. So don't touch it until then.” You rolled your eyes. Your step sister, who was a couple of years younger than you, took a seat next to you. “How much longer until this stupid storm starts, some of my friends have already lost power.” She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Your step-sister Charlie, you swear, is 13 going on 30. She is a brat, spoiled at that. She is most definitely their favorite child, no matter how much they deny it. It's not like it bothers you any, you just wished you could have your father back. To the way it was before her and her mother came along. No matter how happy he is now.

The dinner table was always filled with awkward silence. Sure, there would be a few conversations between your dad and stepmom here and there, but besides that, Charlie was always on her phone, and you never had any ideas on what to say. What could you say, It was a relief to finish eating. Most days you'd even pretend you were full to just go back up to your room.

Finishing supper, you threw your plate into the garbage, heading back up to your room. You shut your bedroom door behind you, letting yourself fall onto your bed. Listening to the rain hit the window outside for a few moments before you picked up your phone. Notifications almost immediately lighting up your face from your screen. 

Sarah (5:18pm)

Y/N call me

Sarah (5:18pm)

Missed call (x2)

Sarah (5:20pm)

Helloooo

Sarah (5:24pm)

Please call me its about rafe

Sarah (5:33pm)

Call me when you get this please

Sitting up from laying down, you pressed sarah's contact, calling her number. It was Fear bubbled inside your chest, imagining any possible scenario as to what this is about. Did she find out about the two of you guys hooking up? Did Something Bad happen to Rafe? Your mind wouldn't stop, biting your nails before the phone went straight to the answering machine, then again, then again. It didn't surprise you, it was almost a half hour ago that she texted you. 

“Y/N.” Your stepmom cried out, opening up your bedroom door. “Get your stuff, we have to go to the hospital, your fathers already in the truck. Hurry.” You looked at her dumbfounded, Being no surprise this had something to do with Rafe seeing the texts Sarah sent you. 

You grabbed your purse, along with your phone. Throwing on a sweater. You went as fast as you could down the steps and into the garage, getting in the back seat on his truck. Noone said a single thing. Except, Charlie wasn't in the vehicle with you. “What happened?” You asked, fear lacing your voice. It wasnt that you knew, but you could feel as if something happened. Something bad. 

“Rafe got into an accident, sweetheart.” Your stepmom cooed. Trying to hold back the break in her voice that was clear to you. You scoffed, crossing your arms as you stared out through the window, the rain heavy, the sky dark. It didn't surprise you he would have gotten into an accident. Especially if he was on coke. The weather was in no way  fit to drive in. You couldn't understand why your parents cared enough to drive in it, or why they brought you along. As sympathetic as you are, Rafe was a dick. Especially from the stunt he decided to come into the wreck and pull today.

“I wonder why.” You mumbled. “What was that y/n?” Your father croaked, threat lacing over his tone. was he seriously breaking down over this? “You guys do know we're broken up. We have been for a while.” You shook your head. Your dad couldn't drive any slower if he tried. Atleast at the hospital Sarah would be there. 

“We know that, y/n. But rafe is like family to us. Whether you two are together or not. He is a great young man.” Your father yelled, you couldn't help but laugh at the way he used ‘family’. “He got into that accident because he was probably high on drugs for fucks sake! Maybe if you listened to me more and didn't treat me like a piece of glass youd know that,” 

Tears slipped out of your eyes, not only from whatever was happening now, but the thought of Rafe. No matter how much you tried hiding it. You felt horrible. Horrible for everything you said and even thought. Rafe was an ex to you, in your head but for sure not in your heart. You still loved him, so much. And the fact of seeing him hurt, hurt you. 

Noone said a word after your statement. Not too long after, your father pulled into the hospital parking lot. You did not want to go in there. 

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Taglist - @joselyn001 @madelynie

(DM or comment to be added to my tag list.)

6.5.23

@ starkeyletters 2023

#rafe cameron #drew starkey #outer banks #romance #love #writing #quotes #poetry #rafe smut #rafe fic #rafe outer banks #rafe imagine #outerbanks rafe #rafe fanfiction #rafe obx #rafe x you #rafe angst #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron obx #obx netflix #obx cast #obx season 3 #obx3 #jj obx fic #starkeyletters

[heartfelia]

SUMMIT PT 2 LIVE REACTION

wdym u can explain eventually

TELL HIM VINCE- i-

WILLIAM ORDERED U but like why tho

ok porter i love u MWAH

SOLAIRES STAND AS ONE NATION UNDER GOD INDIVISIBLE whatever whatever

ALEXIS GET UR SHIT TOGETHER

period alexis

i would love a game of clue rn

shes not wrong abt the wrinkles

LEX??? WTF AYE Lex VINCENT WTF DO U MEAN LEX

sweethearts safe and sound BLESS 😭

GIRL ATP I NEED U TO SPEAK IM TO ANXIOUS FOR SILENCE

milo bby its ok OUR POOKIE IS OK

asher smooch MWAH ily be safe

yea davey king dead happened while u were in negotiations

PUSH THEM AWAY???

DAYYYUMM ofc they didnt get to see who did the murder DAAAMMNIT

idky but evacuate the dance floor is playing in my head

(EVACUATE THE DANCE FLOOR DOO DOO DOO DOO IM ADDICTED TO THE SOUND) ((i forgot the lyrics))

aww another trusting moment between the men

PORTER CMERE BABES

yeah tell him asher

GET HIS ASS

PORTERR ill-

GET HIM ASHEERRRR

im crying i have tears in me eyeballs yall i cant

SPEAK SIR

ok thats true but like why did u send SH in there right before u knew he was gonna die????

DID I HEAR HEARSAY

true i cant handle a war rn and lovely shouldnt be spending their first year fighting on behalf of a clan they just became a part of

porter if ur not spinning then why do u look like a ballerina rn?? hmm?? EXPLAIN

YEA BUT THE NUDGE WAS DONE KNOWING SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN A LITTLE HEADS UP WOULDVE BEEN FUCKING NICE

lets go crazy crazy crazy till we see the sun

the department is right there.. in sweetheart form

BLOOD FIRST??? oh yeah vampire clan rules blah blah i remember this being mentioned during quinns little moment

WHO TF IS SPEAKING?? alexis? GIRL THATS NOT U SPEAK LIKE NORMAL

OH THE MONARCH IS SPEAKING i was lost

baas? bahs? someone spell this for me i wanna kiss her SORRY yall

BOYS JUST KEEP UR WOLFY HANDS DOWN

. . . yeah shes not wrong solaire and friends should probably sit out

MILO ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

as if you care princely pop..

OH- TELL HIM ALEXIS clock him

oooooh???

alexa play ash by seventeen

well william aint here rn hes got other rich people duties

i hope SH is like stupidly staring at alexis the way i would be

so ur saying u left him alone before he died

HE DIDNT SAY? mf u were pestering abt funding just say he was annoyed w u

LEAVE WILLIAM ALONE HES BUSY (this is my sticking up for my 500 something yr old bby daddy)

well thats just hearsay princely poo

oh- AYE ADAM DESERVED IT CUNT!! (no he didnt i love him but yes he did)

YEAAAA TELL HIM

thank u porter poo

yea … christopher

they were fighting vincent for the most part so alibi CHECK

sorry monarch we didnt mean to kil- i mean let the king die without notice.. ill let u know next time

THEY FOUND SOMETHING YAALL

MORE TO THE STORY??? omg OH SHIT demon blood on a letter opener is crazy

so someone stabbed my other future husband with a letter opener

SHE CALLED ASHER PUP i love the monarch

OK MONARCH I WAS JUST COMPLIMENTING U GOD DAMN IT BE NICE

ok maybe david was a little silly asking that question but u cant expect him to know everything

so basically what im hearing is a demon was involved only ppl who closely align with empowered and demons would the house of bennett and their relationship with closeknit

CHRISTOPHER U LYING SACK OF SHIT WE CAUGHT U

ONE OF U OLD BAGS CALL ANOTHER SHAW PACK BOYS A DOG AND YOULL BE ON THE NEXT BEHEADING LIST

exactly someone got caught lacking after killing the king and didnt think to fuckin check themselves before letting the king be found

period porter.

i would retype all of this but shes just speaking fact so i dont need to take note of any of it

YOU GAVE HER THE POWER TO DO SO DUMBASS

ANOTHER DEATH??? damn both kings dead during the summit is wild

yeah milo my mind is kinda blown

NO MORE MONEY FOR CLOSEKNIT WOOT WOOT NO MORE MONEY CLOSEKNIT WOOT WOOT

vincent im too mentally unstable for an “are you alright lovely”

I REMEMBER IT BEING SPELLED BAAS so monarch baas is very right

NO HES JUST A BBYGIRL HE DONT KNOW NOTHIN

help “with any luck it wont be the last” shes so real for that

YES MAAM THIS WILL BE REPEATED TO KNOW ONE LOVE U HAVE A WONDERFUL REST OF UR SUMMIT *bow bow*

vincent listen i love u but like shes right we just have to keep it pushing

PORTER VINCENT TALK TIME lets gooo

IM EXCITED FOR PT 3

#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #i cant wrap my tiny little brain around all the information i just processed #redacted alexis #redacted lovely #redacted audio #redacted summit #redacted sweetheart #redacted vincent #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redacted porter #redacted angel #redacted asher #redacted darlin

[qumiiiquinnquin]

i only noticed last week that i start shaking at the thought of having to talk to others

i always knew my social anxiety was bad. but i only started to notice in recent years ((especially after shutdowns in 2020)) that i almost cant talk to people - literally anyone - at all

it wasnt so bad when i was little. i could kind of socialize with kids my age. id mostly be the one to engage first because i wanted to make friends. sometimes i did it with no problems. other times i was pretty anxious when doing so. i worried a lot how others would think of me and what they would say to me or others. but i was mostly by myself and preferred it that way, even if i did get lonely at times. and if other kids engaged with me, i became very anxious and quiet, and would say very little. there was a kid at a park i went to several years ago in colorado and he came up to talk to me while i was on the swing. i felt bad because i wanted to talk, but i was pretty anxious most of the conversation. i only started to open up more near the end before he had to go

i actually had a much easier time talking to teachers throughout preschool (and daycare) up to some point in high school than talking to any of my peers

i know i always had trouble ordering food at places. i always became too nervous and was almost never loud enough for them to hear me. i shut down easily when i have to repeat myself (something im trying to work on) so relatives had to order for me. my stepdad was really understanding throughout my childhood and would always help me order when we would go to subway. family here is much less inclined to help and doesn't like it at all when i lock up when i have to order. it annoys them, and ive been told repeatedly to speak up and to get over my fear

the last place we went to, i almost immediately whipped out my phone to type out my order after i was initially responded with "what?" because she couldn't hear me, but my family was there and i know they would've gotten upset. pissed, probably. likely wouldve had my phone snatched from me. i always try to speak up so they can hear me and i have to just say what i want without thinking about it to avoid clamming up. but i still am shaking and my face turns red because of embarrassment

especially since shutdowns though, talking to people feels impossible. i dont talk to anyone except friends, but even then we run out of things to say and we sit there in silence. school makes you socialize with others a lot, but id almost never speak unless it was a requirement and the teacher would know when someone wasn't speaking, or if i felt too pressured to speak. most times i would either observe or dissociate. ive only gone out twice to shop for myself since shutdowns; one of the times i stuttered extremely bad and came very close to crying out of embarrassment right there at checkout, the other i could barely bring myself to talk and managed to only get half of a "thank you" out (it sounded like an annoyed mumble when i wasnt annoyed at all. i still feel bad about that)

ive turned around from any place that i start to go to, like food places, because im too anxious to go in and especially terrified out of my mind to make an order. im glad my sibling has become more understanding, they've been asking what i want and then ordering it for me while i pay (i feel bad to be very honest). its with my sibling that i have more confidence, but im still too scared to say anything

and this anxiety is carrying over to how i interact with people on social media! i used to not be so afraid to talk to people. but in the past bit over a year replying to any responses i get has become daunting. ive had to stop talking to friends for several days because im busy or mental health shit, but coming back and sending them anything back immediately feels scary, even if i know them well and they know me well. and i end up making the last time we talked extend to several more days. sometimes weeks... sometimes...months. im not trying to ghost people. and i do not like that sending a message back to anyone makes me shake uncontrollably and sweat like i just ran a 10k at full speed without stopping (idfk)

its bothering me lots especially now in college. social interaction is required for certain assignments and participation. but all i can do is sit there, shaking, heart pounding, unable to talk to anybody. we are all adults there, so we are expected to act as such. my extreme social anxiety doesn't fly there and ill likely be told one day that im acting like a child or i need to get used to talking to people or something to that effect

idk how to end this off

#vent #im actually shaking while typing out this whole thing #to be honest i may just go with my plan of starting to write down my orders before i go places and show them when they take our orders #my social anxiety is one of the many reasons why i do not think im cut out for college and why i dont plan on getting a job soon #i wish i could just 'get over' my social anxiety. i wish i could talk to others especially when i need to #idk how. and its not as easy as just telling me to 'get over it.' that actually does nothing but kind of hurt... #long post

[hopeurokays]

WENT AND SAW THE ERAS TOUR MOVIE LIKE AN HOUR AGO AND AHHHHHHHHHH. IT WAS SO GOOD (spoilers under the cut)

so my movie theater didn't have popcorn buckets bc their shipment is currently lost

but i got a cup and a poster

i planned on making like 50 bracelets but ended up only making like 20

which is good though cause pretty much nobody had bracelets to trade

i traded 1 and gave out all but 2

i don't know how people don't cry the entire concert

bc i almost cried several times during the movie so the actual concert i think would have me dead

so now im gonna go by era and discuss it

lover:

the opening made me cry

i whisper sung the beginning bc it was still kinda awkward and nobody else was singing loud

until the cruel summer bridge

then we all sung it loud

i LOVE the man and loved getting to see the things i hadn't noticed from tiktok (like the specific dance moves, etc)

the man and lover also made me cry a bit

im so upset she cut the archer

its not even my favorite song or anything but still

fearless:

iconic guitar spins 🫶🏻

everyone did the heart hands, it was so sweet

it was so cute seeing her band sing with her, they're adorable

fearless spins made me cry

love story almost made me bawl, but i held it together

i can remember being in kindergarten and saying my favorite song was love story so thinking about that made me want to sob

evermore:

THEY CUT NO BODY NO CRIME

i was so excited when i realized it was filmed

and then SHE CUT IT

anyways

marjorie made me cry

tolerate it was a materpiece (as expected)

so was champagne problems

reputation:

honestly no words

look what you made me do honestly almost made me cry

when all the other taylors were in the boxes

but still it was all soooooo good

speak now:

enchanted made me tear up

im so glad she wore the purple dress for filming

SHE CUT LONG LIVE 😭😭😭

ik it's the perfect end credit song but still

we wouldn't mind to hear it again

will forever be upset

red:

ngl 22 got me

it was the only one that made me cry

and like i cried like a baby when she gave the 22 hat

i expected it to be kobe bryant's daughter, but it still got it

i was bawling in my seat

but then the rest was really nice

i loved screaming atw

folklore:

ive never seen video of her performing the 1 all the way through and loved it

also betty made me cry

but betty was the first song off folklore id ever heard and was made me listen to her new music so it holds a special place in my heart

also there was a little girl who got up during betty and started dancing, like throwing arms above her head and everything

and she did that for most of folklore

she was a mood tbh

I CANT BELIEVE SHE CUT CARDIGAN

WHYYYYYY

1989:

none of these made me cry, i was too busy dancing lol

they were all really fun

i loved the clubs smashing the car

also i love that she wore the pink one

i just like that outfit best

surprise songs:

i can't say im surprised it was our song and yoyok

and i absolutely loved them

but i was really hoping she would find a way to put all of the songs she sung in la on there

especially you are in love

i wouldve cried and died and just stayed there forever

but yoyok made me cry during the bridge

midnights:

i LOVE the purple jacket/dress combo

kinda freaked out when i realized id have to sit beside my mom during vigilante shit...

but she didn't say anything

i loved the vibes of this era too

other/end credits:

the bracelet part was so cute and clever

and i love the fan moments/bloopers

i do kinda wish the credits would've been styled more like rep tour's was

i also loved the transitions to each era and the text for the album name

it was all really cute

and i loved how taylor was still being goofy

i was worried it wouldn't be as silly as the shows usually are

but im glad it was, it made it feel more authentic

also the quality of everything was SO good

overall i loved it and if you're debating on going just do it (im thinking about going with my friends to watch it a 2nd time...). I'd give it like 1000/10 tbh

#eras #eras tour #taylor swift #the eras tour #eras tour film #eras movie #eras movie spoilers

[berrymoos]

rewatching st to cope and season 1 episode 8 got me thinking about little!steve in a panicked and regressed haze during his first interaction with the demogorgon

like when he was going all “ this is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!” and reached for the phone only to be pulled back by nancy who yells at him to get out but instead of him just leaving like he did he’s full on sobbing and blubbering as he walks out and when he got in his car he just cried until he talked himself up to go back inside

“ y-you’re a big boy steve *sniffle* you- you can do this, not a b-baby”

then he goes back inside and gives that demogorgon a piece of his mind with the bat and once it’s all over he just falls to the floor and curls up in a ball and starts crying again and nancy realizes he had regressed and mentally cursed herself for yelling at him earlier so she sits next down next to him and is like:

“ hey buddy, what you did was really brave, i’m proud of you”

“ w-weally? not- not a baby?”

“ of course not! you were so brave, RIGHT JONATHAN?” *stares daggers at him with her signature tight-lipped smile*

“ yeah!? really brave steve, you saved my ass back there”

“ no cursing jonathan! i don’t want him to repeat you!”

“what do you mean he literally- fine! okay, i’m sorry for cursing bud”

so she’s just there, hugging steve on the floor, running her fingers through his hair and wiping his tears while jonathan just stares at them confused(and a bit jealous at all of the attention he’s getting but shhhh)

bonus content(i can’t jus not talk about baby jonny he’s baby)

after steve and nancy explain when he’s big again jonathan reveals he was a tad bit jealous that steve got to be babied and not him and steve shows him his stash of coloring books and stuffies and when he leaves so jonny’s not too embarrassed and comes back about 30 minutes later to see baby jonny on his stomach scrubbing every color onto the book, using one of the(many)pacifiers he found in steve’s box and it takes everything in steve not to sit down and color with him because he knew nance was busy and didn’t have time to deal with two little boys:)

you know what's crazy abt u rewatching ST is that my brother finished the s4 finale yesterday (therefore i got to rewatch it) & we both cried HARD - he unfortunately knew abt eddie but when max started ... Yknow ... he LOST it 😭😭 our cousins were like "??? ARE YOU GUYS OKAY???"

GOSH, steve is such a brave little guy!! going back in & beating that demogorgan with his friends to protect them even if he is scared!! (*´˘`*)♡ augh he's so so selfless, nancy definitely wouldve noticed him regressing the moment he started crying if she hadn't been so occupied & worried about the demogorgan, so when steve sinks to the ground she feels horribly guilty & p much bruises her knees by dropping down immediately after him

steve deff doubts his bravery when nancy first tells him how brave he was tho :(( — "nuh-uh, n-not bwave ... m scared, nancy" but she's such a good caregiver (& person in general hsheksk) & hops in INSTANTLY to tell him how it's okay to be scared, he can still be brave even if he feels like running away - that's what bravery is, bud! - and just how proud she is of him, coming back to help them!! so, so proud, RIGHT JONATHAN?? Right, Jonathan? Good ... Alright ( ¬_¬)

jon's just been standing in the background twiddling his thumbs & lowkey pouting at how much attention steve's getting SHDJDJSKD jus like "hmph, why can't that be me ... (﹡ᵗ ᵔ ᵗ ﹡)" he wants his hair pet & some hugs ,, and maybe a few kisses on his forehead (´ . .̫ . `) ,, who can blame him tho; getting doted on by nancy wheeler sounds wonderful - and it IS!! <3 & his thumb twiddling simply gets more intense as he mumbles to them abt feeling jealous abt all the attention stevie got without him. his face is kinda red too bc wow is that embarrassing to admit after nancy caught him literally pouting behind them

baby jonny my beloved *´ㅅ`)ﾞ♡ steve coming back to jonny kicking his feet as he colors with every single crayon in the box – which, by the way, is a big box (it's not just one normal coloring box, it's a large one full of crayons from different boxes, so crayons galore!) – pacifier bobbing busily in his mouth, concentrating on staying in the lines, humming an unrecognizable song under his breath ,,,,, steve doesn't know if he wants to color with him or sit down & set jonny in his lap so he can watch him color and listen to any babbles he may have about his artwork, so he legit ends up standing there for a minute & a half staring at him JEKEKS

jonny does notice & it's a staring match until steve realizes what he's doing and goes "oh, shi– shoot, jon, i'm sorry! i wasn't trying to stare, i was just ... making sure you were okay. aaand watching you color; you're really good at staying in the lines, by the way..."

n jonny's cheeks get red, bc he knows he's good at staying in the lines bc he colors all the time but hearing it from someone else makes him feel good! and shy ... but still good!

steve does end up joining him on the floor, but he doesn't color or bring jon into his lap – jonny wants him too, but neither of them are super comfortable bringing that to light rn 😭 instead steve asks him questions about his coloring, like "ooo, you're gonna use golden yellow for the fur? it's like a golden retriever, yeah? yeaaaah!" & "what if you used ... pink and red for the flowers? oh, you were? great mind think alike, then!"

the picture he colored was for steve btw – a thank you for helping them with the demogorgan, a thank you for letting him use his stuff. steve gets so teary-eyed bc oh my gosh he's such a sweetheart & jonny thinks he's about to cry bc he doesn't like it, so now he's getting teary-eyed & doubtful & he's so ready to take it back, but steve is SO quick to say "no no no no! jonny, this is– i love it, buddy! thank you!" & pull him into a big ole hug (〃∀〃)ゞwaaaaa

"c'n i ... c'n i cowor for nance..?"

steve's heart is MELTING. "of course you can color for nancy, bud!"

and this time, jonny gets to sit on his lap as he colors <3

#baby jonny & steeeeve the little cuties <333 #🍓．berry n friends <3 #loserhotline friend <3 #stranger things agere #fandom agere #sfw agere #agere asks #agere concept

[unlimitedhorsepower]

i dont know if they ever intend to tell us anything about ryans backstory because its not necessarily important to his character and it could be enough for us to know that he used to disobey his parents to go see his girlfriend of the time instead, and that he alludes to karinas parents being nice in a way that makes me think his own parents arent like that

but because hes an amalgamation of kotetsus and barnabys traits in a lot of ways, ive built my own ideal reality. also, this was supposed to be a really short post but its actually unnecessarily long and rambling and actually has little to do with his backstory in the end, and tumblr will cut it off thankfully.

its my blog and i post whatever i want, including my stream of consciousness thoughts. here. have this ryan figurine i think about on a regular basis

in my mind he would be from a well-off enough family and he wouldve started his career as a child and the hero work wasnt his topmost wish always. nowadays hes obviously rich, but i often think about KOW the rising saying that he likes to study tax plans and is good at buying in bulk...

anyhow, i think it would be fitting if his parents were kinda lacking in the parenting department. why did he become the wandering gravity prince? did he not want to stay with them, he never really talks about them even when its topical, they dont seem important to him. hes looking for a place to not get backstabbed and his first instinct is go to sternbild after a devastating injury and not like, show up at home for a bit at least?

kotetsus mom is still around and we know shes nice and doing the most really, and kotetsu has a brother who supports him too. kotetsu also is a very normal person without particular talents. in contrast, as we know, barnaby lost his parents who were busy but cared about him, and he was then raised by maverick who only wanted to use him and never cared about him.

barnaby is also a virtuoso in so many things, what is he not good at? he can have himself a perfect celebrity persona and do so many things so well. he was smart even as a kid. kotetsu, on the other hand, has no particular talents, however, he scored himself an eventual wife and a best friend for life (antonio!) when he was still in high school.

sure, he does dumb stuff all the time, but hes a decent guy who can make people laugh. hes well-liked enough, and he has a penchant for making genuine human connection even (and because of) his meddlesome nature. barnaby has difficulties making friends, in contrast. and if were absolutely honest, ryan is much more like kotetsu in the sense that underneath all of his ego that gets in the way of everything, hes actually a relatively normal guy with no particular talents beyond being extremely loud and proud about himself. without his ego he pretty much has nothing.

every day he wakes up and pretends to have both the positive traits of barnaby and kotetsu, when actually he kind of has both of their negative traits. his motto, too, is about believing in himself. as long as he believes hes perfect, then he can convince others of it too.

so hes a little bit like barnaby, who has a very likable and nice public image to supplement his shortcomings as a person who has difficulties connecting with people... but he goes beyond and above and makes no distinction between who he really is and what his “public image” is. his ego is Him, because its all he really has, and it gets in the way of genuine human connections.

again, in his schedule he is noted that he “had a pleasant time” at an event with a lot of celebrities, but theyre just his acquantaices. he keeps giving his number out to women, takes a woman home from a date and getting texted that the vibe was off, and he just goes okey-dokey and continues unbothered and arranges an another date

but then his buddy hero partner karina is about to DITCH him for kotetsu just like barnaby did (not that he cares. it was his master plan btw) and hes ready to flee the city immediately and cries.

does that really seem like a man who has a lot of genuine friends, like kotetsu has for example?

no... ryan has a lot of surface-level acquantaices and so on. hes well-liked enough, but the image he projects is absolutely insufferable and doesnt seem genuine (despite it being genuine, because he really just is like that), which also has made people consider him a rival to a degree it seems they arranged for gregory to cause ryan to lose control of his power.

in the scene where he loses control, hes wearing civilian clothes. was he invited to a hangout with the heroes at the monument he was crushed under? it certainly wasnt during his work, but his co-workers are in their hero costumes. it  would also explain ryans preoccupation with being betrayed, which implies to me a more active role than just leaving him to be crushed to death under rubble.

even barnaby, in the rising, suspects ryan of being involved with the villain plot, which ryan catches on and brings up himself and acts unbothered about- he doesnt mind, he gets it a lot, it seems. he would know this, too, because hes good at reading people.

anyhow, attention is what he wants, and attention is what he gets... he doesnt even mind if the attention is a bit negative.

like kotetsu, hes kind of meddlesome with other people, but hes also the type to claim all credit (even for things he didnt do), like when at the end of rising the announces its his idea that barnaby and kotetsu should work together.

anyway, i think this all would perfectly fit in my fantasy of ryans parents not being really explicitly awful but maybe they just didnt care enough so ryan never received an adequate amount of attention and parental guidance, and ended up like this.

barnaby is an only child, and kotetsu has a brother who he is on good terms with...

ryan could be an only child (as he never mentions anything related to a sibling as far as i know, but some information is so hard to get. i wish i could read japanese), but i think it would be interesting if he had a sibling, and for no particular reasons, the sibling was always just a little bit better than ryan. 

maybe they were smarter and had more realistic dreams (ryans wish is being the only number one. thats not even a wish. why did he even become a hero? i would say it was for attention. a guy with no life plans, really), or something, but it doesnt matter. losing in his parents eyes to something boring and cringe like a well-paying office job or a doctor or something. but thats something just for additional comedic purposes for me personally bc i think itd fit for him to be an only child

i also like to entertain the idea his parents wouldve pushed him into the entertainment field and i do love the idea that he was involved in a lot of things (like modeling etc) before ending up becoming a hero, which wouldve been one of his first choices he made for himself

hes not a bad person by all means, but to me at least before rising he more cared about the fame and attention part and people thinking hes an awesome person. theyll appreciate him then.

but then he learned about the power of friendship and now he can better focus on being a good person in the way he knows how to be (extremely meddlesome and getting into your personal business but nonetheless hes doing his best)

he definitely was like that as a kid too, you know how some kids are just so nosy? i also like to think he was the type of kid who just makes up outrageous lies and cant even tell why, which he stopped doing as an older teen and moved into exaggerating his life instead

i think hes always been really outgoing and the class clown-type who causes problems at school but like most kids who act like that, he was trying to get attention because he was going through something

and lets face it, hes kind of weird with how over-the-top he is. his apartment has black marble and leather and gold and he has frescoes of himself on his walls... this sort of eccentricity doesnt just happen overnight, im sure hes always been a little bit like that

but its harder to get bullied when you just tell everyone youre awesome with utmost confidence. kids dont really know how to react to something like that, its pretty easy to convince people youre cool as long as you can just act the part (source: me). you can get all of your weird traits excused if you own them and act like its the most natural thing (even if it wont stop people talking behind your back) anyway i think that deep down he knows that hes nothing special and has known since he was a kid but this lifestyle of his isnt something he can back down from. hes perfect because he says so and if he admitted otherwise it would be equivalent to getting executed.

he made his bed now he has to lie in it. but hey its a nice bed with silk sheets and damn he looks good

#i wrote this a few days ago here have it #ryan goldsmith #tiger and bunny

[ankhisms]

ok hold on now that im thinking about it im gonna ramble some more about theater related things

disclaimer disclaimer despite feeling a bit awkward at times and nervous because everyone else has already been in other shows together and is friends with each other vs me not really knowing anyone everyone still has been nice and the director and stage manager are sweethearts and the lead actor is very cool and talented and its been a better experience than my last show and i certainly dont have any issues where people are being nasty to me like i did with my last production but ok the thing im thinking about is ok. im going to the opening night of this other play tonight right. because this is another play our theater company is putting on right. the way this theater works is that generally two plays are like kind of around the same time where one is being performed and the other one is still in the early to mid rehersal stages but its all the same theater company right and some of my castmates are in this show and we all get in free since we are actors and part of the company right and its good to support your castmates with their hard work on their other production its a lot of work to be doing two plays at once

and anyway there was this time where. ok one thing about me is i blend into the background when im offstage and it is very common for me to overhear things people dont necessarily mean for me to hear or want me to hear for better or for worse. so there was a time recently where i was offstage waiting for my time to go in and these two people start talking about this other play theyre in. and they just start absolutely trashing a girl whos in it with them who i realize is another castmate in the production im in and she just wasnt needed at rehersal that day so she wasnt there to hear them but the way they were talking about her was just so cruel and i moved away at one point because it just felt really gross and i had half a mind to speak up and say something but it was like at the time i didnt know who they were talking about so its not like i could be like hey dont talk badly about her or thinking its none of my business.

but it still bothers me specifically because these people were being so elitist and putting this girl down saying "oh shes trying so hard but shes just not good. she just isnt good!" and i think the director of that play is also kind of weird or making weird decisions but thats not the actors fault if the director is demanding they perform in a weird way. and it really just boiled down to these two people (who btw are twice the age of me and the other girl) were just like... asserting that theyre sooooo good and that theyre so skilled and know the play better and that if it were them theyd do it this way etc etc while just being so nasty and cruel to this poor girl who they admitted is very obviously trying her best and putting a lot of effort. frankly i am more impressed by and rooting for someone who may not have as much experience or skill but is putting a lot of effort and heart into their performance over someone whos got a lot of experience yes but is going to just treat their cast mates like shit like this lmao. i lost my train of thought but oh no wait there it is

its like a pet peeve of mine when people in theater think they know your role better than you do or know better than the director does and tries to like upstage you or says well i could do that role better or i wouldve done it this way. like ok but you arent doing the role. you arent the director. a theatrical production is supposed to be a group effort were all supposed to be working TOGETHER to tell a story and create an experience and get across a specific message and atmosphere to the audience and i hate how often people seem to forget that and want to be like WELL I COULD DO THAT BETTER and to be clear you may be thinking but kes you have said you could out act certain hollywood actors and thats diffwrent because im not a fucking cast mate of those rich and famous actors who barely are able to have a good meaningful deep performance because they got their roles through money and connections and being conventionally attracvtive. its different yknow.

and in the end it makes me sad. it just makes me sad to know that the issues that i have with the usa acting and theater industry are still within a smaller scale community theater. i genuinely think community art spaces are so incredibly important i wouldnt be alive if it hadnt been for community theater and its a disservice to be letting people be so fucking snobbish and elitist and cruel like yes i take our community theater productions seriously and we all put a lot of effort andnheart into it ajd ive seen some really moving and impactful amazing performances done by small community theater groups but also this is not fucking broadway you do not have to be so back stabbing and cruel and you dont have to act like you have some kind of heirarchy ladder to climb, both of these things can be true

also as a note for example like. i dont really agree with some of the acting choices the person im understudying for is making. but thats really just because we are very different people and every performer is going to do things differently! i dont think theyre a bad actor in any way and i can clearly see theyre putting a lot of thought and effort into their performance. and in the end even if i dont agree with how theyre doing it thats not my decision, its the directors decision for how she wants the character to come across so that the story can be cohesive. plus our director knows more about this play than any of us she literally did her thesis on it. but anyway what im saying is that you can not agree with your castmates acting choice while not being a fucking asshole about it

anyway whew thanks if you read this ramble lmao i just want theater to be a safer healthier kinder place and i care a lot about acting and theater. everyone be fucking nice for the love of god

[commander-gloryforge]

okay my actual opinion on the new patch

Spoiler free version:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i LOVE the map, it looks beautiful, it's fun to navigate, i really adore it

oouughhhh ouch

meta is really fun. i say this because i got an ascended drop on my second run

okay now onto the spoilers <3

the first instance alone? best update ever. i got an ACHIEVEMENT FOR PETTING CATS!!! honestly it was just a really nice story step starting slow and silly and i got to throw cofetti at rama which makes me happy :)

"Friends detective agency" starts crying

also I'm SO GLAD we're getting Yao back, i love them so much. I'm a simply man. In Love With Yao.

i already said this but the map is absolutely insane. the air filter system is pretty cool. THE COLOURS??? with the VOID-ISH MAGIC? hello. its so fucking cool

demons and onis and jade and fucked up mind games and HOLY SHIT i love the themes we are getting into. it's so spooky and cool and honestly i absolutely fucking love this direction.

when i first heard almorras voice? AAUGHAGAHAG OUZGHHH

i love when they pull up my dead friends to torment me. i love it so much. sorry about that commander but holy fuck i love it. im really glad they chose almorra for this too.

voice acting was so good oh god. every part of the story i think to myself "the commander cant sound any more tired than she already is" and then BOOM she hits a new low.

meta is really fun and has a lot of replayability in my opinion! plus it actually really does pay off. i already said that but i got an ascended drop on my second run on na, i think i wanna aim for another one on eu

speaking of meta. theres one rama voice line that has burnt itself into my brain. SMASH IT! HARDER! HARDER!

rama my babygirl. sopping wet beast. i love you

ALL IN ALL. i really loved this patch. story content, events, map, all amazing. BUT it was way too short. i'm very unsure about this new cycle and the time between releases. i feel like the story was too short and just didnt have enough stuff in it to justify a 3 month long wait. it wouldve been perfectly fine if the wait was around a month or so but this kind of isnt enough? even though i do think the meta will keep me busy for a while, this just isnt really enough?

i do hope they find something that works better for us players as well. i think this was a great start into this new story content but knowing that'll take such a long time until the next part kind of hurts it.

anyways eating emote when

#dios wisdom #eod spoilers

[1eos]

once i was not minding my business nd clicked on some venom doujin bc i know nothing abt venom nd didn’t think they could make it horny (i was VERY wrong) nd the whole plot was the alien thing just going to TOWN on the human guy just as his................wife? girl friend? idk came home nd she was horrified nd started crying. PERSONALLY i wouldve turned it into an episode of oprah. like pls explain to me how we got to you taking big black alien cock? does this make us a thruple? is the alien gay? bisexual? let’s talk this out 🤨 

[away-ward]

Hey, thanks for the reply for my ask! The tiktok video i sent was under the username @ wanderbella_ and the post is picture of a blonde woman with some blue dress (?) the title was "you think you won? nah girl you're just easy". This one >> ( https://www.tiktok.com/@wanderbella_/video/ 7268488507641941253?_r=1&_t=8fChpFFVp7o ) just delete the space between / and 7

And yea, i think im just not a fan of unnecessary jealousy scenes, which was why i like your fic because even if some type of jealousy was present, it never took away much from willemmy's relationship building outside of it. I also agree with your point about will's potential, because i believe if only pd just gave him more on page time and development, he wouldve been an amazing character. He was so lost, and maybe his stagnant surrounding also amplified it, so why cant we see him doing something else that's opposite to what he had, that could later on add his growth or something? even his vacation and other good things he did before blackchurch took a backseat, they were only mentioned in passing, so we really dont know this "amazing will" that his friends saw, we were only just told about it. So we got the shitty version of him (especially the treating women like shit), and we were expected to like him and be like "oh will, so romantic!" "The best horsemen to treat his woman right" Like where?! 😒 Istg, this particular angle of Nightfall will was so similar to corrupt michael, its such a turn off: The same flaws of michael that i hated in corrupt, especially the almost to no development ON PAGE of misogynistic weak male characters who cant stand up for themselves and their woman then let others treat their women like shit in front of everybody, and pd even had the fucking audacity to write a scene where michael called emmy weak 🙄 (However, Was what michael was true? I think In a certain angle it is, because even emmy had acknowledged that there are somethings she didnt have courage to fight for then because of her situation, but she wasnt a coward in everything. Then we got will who is shit at everything, even at loving emory, because apart from being a jobless and useless character, even as someone who was written to be the MMC of the book, he just sits there in thunder bay on his high horse and complaint in his head here and there like an annoyng insufferrable karen. So these mfs can go f themselves honestly.

One thing about this series that i fcking hate is the men likes to humiliate others and even their women in front of everybody, and then "let" them fight, and rebrand it as "women empowerment". Its 2023 why are MCs still the one to define what women empowerment is? And why do female readers ate them up? Thats why i said, a big reason why the FMCs in this series was treated like shit by their friends is because the horsemen lead them by example. Like hideaway michael learned later to stand up for rika and not let her always gight alone like in corrupt, and afterwards he put banks in her place, kai in fire night for that prank, damon for overcrossing his boundaries etc. at least we see growth, bare minimum but its still there. But nightfall will, oh god, fucking useless, why the fuck was he still around alex after all of that? We never even saw will telling her off to shut the fuck up and go mind her own business. We never even got a sorry from alex. Emmy was better than me because if alex was my friend, i wouldve cut her off from my life, but then emmy was kinda dumb to go back to will without making him apologize and fight for her more too so i guess being dumb is a general theme for this series.

For me personally, i also hate that these men can do whatever they want, but the readers just buy whatever they say, without actually thinking about what they just said and did. The two most laughable quote to me are from damon (others are all from michaelrika lmao) where he said in conclave and nightfall about how he thought hes best around women now and women only dont know how to fight if they were taught. Do i disagree with him? Not fully. But do i hate that Damon was the one to say this? Fuck yeah. I had to laugh because really, damon was suddenly the one to say this? Its more believable if theres a steady character growth for him relating with female presence in his life, but nooo one day hes a villain, and the next hes a feminist 🙄 His stupid switch of personality was so?? unsatisfying to read. And thats the thing, pd wrote all these shitty scenes about shitty men, jumping from one characterisation to another within 24 hours, and still expect us to buy it under the pretense of "going over the edge, feeling everything, doing whatever you want, deal with your shame, dont run away from it". Wow, pd, youre so inspirational! #1 feminist! 🙄😒

Anyway, I think will's character is probably the second most disappointing thing i have to read from the series, with the other 3 horsemen's povs combined being the most disappointing thing about DN. Idk, i think i just hate reading about women-hate in books and unequally matched power couple where one of them is very blatantly weaker (oh on that note, the same goes with winterdamon. Why is damon's partner someone like that??? Shes so stale! Lacking intensty, and I very much agree with your other anon that winter was just so useless outside of damon and being a ballerina, and to me, its not even because she was blind. Theres a lot of amazing things that disabled people can do irl and pd didnt even try to do their research well and make her a more outstanding character. We could literally have a great disabled rep in DN, but nah, pd said, aint no way for non-damonrika content and disabled women empowerment today!) Even worse when that weakness was made to be their whole personality, as if he or she does not have a backbone or anything going outside of it. Will grayson was literally a person of himself, a son, a friend, a potential uncle, a lover, a family gatherer (or wtv you name it) and many other things, but pd cant even slip this into his character??? Ugh. I already had many problems with will's character but like i said in my intial ask, his bad treatment towards women just seals my hate for him, just like the three other horsemen. i hate him, and i dont think im ever gonna take recs with "characters like will grayson" again if theyre the exact same with the one i read.

Lastly, i dont think you come off as will grayson's #1 fan or anything, nor do i think it's a problem neither. i also understand that if you do come off as one, its not my place to yuck your yum bevause this is your blog, and as much as a stranger like me can asks you asks, this is still your blog and a place for you and your moots to have fun with your fan contents first above everything. I believe that even if you maybe do enjoy something problematic etc. from this series or from somewhere else, by looking at your anons' response here, you seem to know the difference between fiction and reality and is very respectful when you deal with different responses and opinions, so thats a good thing. I only came here to express my frustration, thats all. Thank you for reading & replying!

Hey!!

Okay, I was able to see the tiktok this time and I totally get what you’re saying. Will definitely used women to make himself more comfortable and Alex, if that’s who you were imagining when you saw this, shouldn’t feel any type of pride for having “bagged” him. The truth is, both Alex and Will are easy lays who require little to no effort to coax into bed. I mean, I think Will would be loyal to Em once they’re together, but outside of that Will has no guardrails to keep him from doing stupid stuff. Both he and Alex live in the gutter where that’s concerned.

, which was why i like your fic because even if some type of jealousy was present, it never took away much from willemmy's relationship building outside of it.

Not sure which fic you’re talking about but I’m assuming it’s No Apologies since that deals with jealousy the most. It was a struggle for me to write because I never thought of Will as an openly jealous person, but again, I’m not any kind of authority on the character and as PD as proven time and again, I have sort of a glorified “but he’s actually better than this” view of him.

That being said, I did feel that he had no right to his jealousy in any way. So I had to (for myself) find a reason to justify it and it seemed the best course to make it about Em lying all the time. Lying about the abuse, lying about her feelings for him, lying about other men touching her, not admitting that she signed that paper even though he knew it was all a crock. She lied, seemingly to protect other people when she should have been worried about him, and that's what he's jealous over. It was the only way I could make it work, because I also don't see the point of a useless or misplaced jealousy plotline!!!

even his vacation and other good things he did before blackchurch took a backseat, they were only mentioned in passing, so we really dont know this "amazing will" that his friends saw, we were only just told about it. So we got the shitty version of him

Yeah, exactly! I few asks ago I went off the rails about him because all these little things he does that aren’t really touched on and are sort of glossed over really paint a different picture of him than the one we see on the page. And had any of those traits been brought out more, he could have really shined.

this particular angle of Nightfall will was so similar to corrupt michael, its such a turn off: The same flaws of michael that i hated in corrupt, especially the almost to no development ON PAGE of misogynistic weak male characters who cant stand up for themselves and their woman then let others treat their women like shit in front of everybody

I didn’t really piece this together right away but you’re right. Will during BC and Michael before the Big Twist are very similar. Willing to let their friends hurt the girl they “care about” because their revenge is more important and “it’s what they deserve,” only to find out that their involvement was nothing at all and shouldn’t even be considered. Really need to find a different plot here. Also, as you said, it’s weird that both Michael and Will took the same course of action. They’re two completely different characters, so shouldn’t they have reacted differently to learning of their girl’s “betrayal”?  I think I tend to be more forgiving towards Will’s anger (not to be confused with his treatment of Em, just his anger and ability to justify himself), because he loved to such an extreme extend of course he would hate her the same way. His emotions swing from one extreme to the other. Michael was always mean to Rika. His love and hate seem exactly the same to me. But anyway.

pd even had the fucking audacity to write a scene where michael called emmy weak

there was an anon who had an interesting take on this scene. I’ll link it here. The point was about half-way down. I'm not sure which I tend to think is more believable - Michael actually had a plan with calling Emmy weak, or Michael truly believed her to be weak because she didn't trust them and wanted to hurt her. But I did like that this was a new and different idea.

One thing about this series that i fcking hate is the men likes to humiliate others and even their women in front of everybody, and then "let" them fight, and rebrand it as "women empowerment". Its 2023 why are MCs still the one to define what women empowerment is? And why do female readers ate them up?

You bring up an interesting (and frustrating) point, that I think is a lot bigger than this series. Yes, female characters should be able to defend themselves. But does that always have to be through physical violence? It’s annoying that every girl in this series falls in to that trap (except Winter? I can’t remember. Other than her speaking Damon into a sobbing mess, I don’t remember much about her big coming into power moment.). Like, female empowerment can come in so many different expressions. But for some, the physical violence is and coming out of humiliation seemingly unscathed a draw and I don’t begrudge them that.

Like hideaway michael learned later to stand up for rika and not let her always gight alone like in corrupt, and afterwards he put banks in her place, kai in fire night for that prank, damon for overcrossing his boundaries etc. at least we see growth, bare minimum but its still there. But nightfall will, oh god, fucking useless, why the fuck was he still around alex after all of that? We never even saw will telling her off to shut the fuck up and go mind her own business.

I would have loved to see Will tell Alex to shut up just once. If PD was going to create a side to take between Alex and Em (even if for a moment), Will should have had to make a choice and he should have taken Em’s side. But instead we had Alex and Will standing together and Em meeting them where they're at. That’s worth a scream, I think.

Yes, since Will and Damon had the most to recover from, I think they should have been the last two in the series. However, Damon’s course to recovery and redemption is a little more predictable than Will’s. Which is why I will always stand by the idea that Damon’s book should have been the series finale and no one will ever change my mind. We should have gotten the chance to see a healthy or recovering Will. A Will at his best, because frankly… we have no idea what that would look like. And moving Damon’s redemption to the end of the series means that we can do a ten-year epilogue where Damon is a healthier version of himself where it didn’t seem like it happened overnight.

Idk, i think i just hate reading about women-hate in books and unequally matched power couple where one of them is very blatantly weaker

I think this probably where we differ the most, because I don’t mind this (that’s probably obvious from the stuff I’ve been posting lately), but only if there is eventually an equalizing of power. We do see that in DNs, it’s just done badly like most stuff in the series. Again, the potential was there. The bones are good. The overall idea is really fun. It’s the execution that trips up most readers, and that’s probably because there are so many other books that take on the same tropes and do something better to a varying degree. Either the revenge plot is better or the friendships are better or the FMC are preferrable. It’s understandable why this series isn’t everyone’s cup of tea when there’s nothing solely original about it. It just happened to combined enough of the things I like for me to discard the things I don’t (most of the time.)

, its not even because she was blind. Theres a lot of amazing things that disabled people can do irl and pd didnt even try to do their research well and make her a more outstanding character. We could literally have a great disabled rep in DN, but nah, pd said, aint no way for non-damonrika content and disabled women empowerment today!

Absolutely correct, and there was that other anon who mentioned diversity and how we couldn’t really expect PD to do extensive research about POC, so going off of that, Winter never stood a chance. I did like that at times she showed her abilities in both hearing sounds others couldn’t pick up and actually hearing the words people say, pulling out things other people would have passed over, but I also feel that PD used her blindness as an excuse for that and had it never occurred to them to make Winter blind, it would have just been another character that did those things because Plot Convenience.

But this does pose the question: what could PD have done with Winter to make her a believable blind character and make her blindness more apart of the story? Because of the action this series tends to lean towards, I always see Winter as a liability. She needs to be led everywhere; I never see her fight. But that assumption isn't really fair to actual blind individuals. What could have been done to make her a good rep?

Will grayson was literally a person of himself, a son, a friend, a potential uncle, a lover, a family gatherer (or wtv you name it) and many other things, but pd cant even slip this into his character???

I don’t know what you mean by family gatherer, but I do like that he’s the mood maker of the crew. People tend to gravitate towards him and trust him for whatever reason. He could have used that to his advantage if he were smarter. I also liked that Will was the only one with family that wasn’t included in the story. It’s clear that Damon has more siblings that just the two we met, but we don’t care about those because it’s so vague. Michael killed his brother, Kai has no siblings. Other than their parents, we know nothing about their extended family. But Will has two brothers, two cousins (one deceased), an uncle, ect. Like he has an actual family outside the group. I don’t know. It’s nice that PD expounded on some of that even though it’s not really relevant.

i hate him, and i dont think im ever gonna take recs with "characters like will grayson" again if theyre the exact same with the one i read.

Someone is recommending books with the line “characters like will grayson” but they’re not exclusively talking about High School/Simp-Supreme Will? Are they insane? That’s clearly the superior Will.

As for your last paragraph, thank you. I do have fun talking and trashing these characters because none of it really matters in the end, right. And I do try to create a space where people can sound off whatever things frustrated them, or things they liked about the series, without worrying they’ll be judged or laughed at for it. There’s no reason the fandom can’t be a place for people to enjoy, even if that means pointing out very real flaws with the material and still be heard.

Also, thank you for reading all those other anon's asks and being respectful when bringing them up. That means a lot for me and I'm sure to them as well.

*bold not meant for emphasis but for ease of reading/skimming.

#asked and answered #devil's night series stuff #the horsemen of devil's night #plot discussion #character discussion #will grayson iii #response to prev ask #asked and answered 87 #asked and answered 88

[stevethehairington]

it's my best friends birthday today and we literally haven't seen each other in months bc we go to school in different states and also the whole social distance stuff and like. i just went on snap and saw she posted some stuff to her story and its of her and like 4 or 5 other girls hanging out at her house and shit and like. ngl that kind of makes me feel shitty which is probably stupid but. it does. and like. this particular group of people she's with all bonded over their love of kpop which i can't fuckin stand so like. understandable that im not part of this group esp since the like 2 or 3 times i DID join them i felt so awkward and lost and out of my depth bc idk shit about kpop lmao. but. still. it just kind of sucks bc it feels like she doesn't make any effort to do things with me but then she's always hanging out with them. and ik im partially responsible for that bc i haven't been the best at reaching out to do stuff (tho in my defense, again, i didn't know where she stood on the whole social distancing thing and also our school breaks never lined up so that was against us too) but still. it just kind of sucks that's all.

#it doesnt help that one of the other girls in that group is someone that was in our core group of friends in hs #so like it feels like they sort of split off too yknow w out me #esp since this other girl has done like nothing to keep in touch w me #its just depressing as shit honestly #and it makes me feel really fucking shitty #and thats so stupid!!!!! #bc i shouldnt be upset that she has other friends and im not!! she can have other friends thats not the problem #its just she doesnt ever seem to want to do anything w me anymore #or we'll be like we need to hang out its been so long & then we try to & she's always so busy but then ill see that shes doing stuff w them #and its just like well cool glad you could make time for them but not me #also like i literally got notice that i got a job at the place ive always wanted to work and i told her and she like barely reacted??? #when normally she wouldve been so excited too and that just felt weird too idk #anyways. im just gonna be sad and lonelt and friendless and depressed over here im my corner so dont mind me #mack rambles

[jookyunltd]

I SWEAR this is the last idiot I'm stepping to about this.

#anti vaxxer #covid19 #Coronavirus #vaccine #dummy #stfu #facebook #I wouldve just minded my business but she was a friend of a friend and I couldnt let that rock on her page unchecked.

[ririspace]

Can you do gi hun dating headcanons with a fem reader? Thank you!

hi!thank u for requesting!i hope you dont mind me hving a little twist to it!

ps;this is my first time doing this so i apologize since its a mess and has some grammatical errors,im too sleepy TT

DATING GI-HUN IN SCHOOL!AU X FEM!READER HCS

a song to listen to while reading!

bfore dating:

he would shamelessly stare at you no matter how obvious it is.but since he has dignity left,he wouldve looked away if you saw him and pretend that he didnt just stare at you for the past 10 seconds.that man absolutely adores you.

would volunteer in any event your in,he thinks that somehow both of you can be more close to each other.its not like you arent friends,he just want it to be more special.

sangwoo and ali needed to listen to gi-hun’s ramble about you after any small encounters of you guys.

his first attempt of confessing is probably by writing a love letter to you.unfortunately he accidentally spilled his chocolate milk over it and decided to throw it away.(poor gi hun)

“shit its y/n.”[tries his hardest to not make any eye contact with you but failed,miserably]

at the end he ended up accidentally confessing to you during a small chat with you

“so,gi-hun,whats your type?”

“so i like y/n,she’s really my type”

“huh??”

“OH NO NO I MEAN LIKE,,”

thankfully you accepted him :D

in relationship/dating:

he would always,ALWAYS share his meal with you.doesnt matter if its just a candy or a piece of bread,that man would always leave some for you

your number one supporter in anything you do!will always be there if you need motivation for your passion :D

walking with you to school will always be your first encounter with him for the day.he would give you milk(if you like it) and would chomp on bread on the way to school

“gi-hun,youre such a messy eater.”[wipes the crumbs off his mouth]

after school dates is a MUST.you said it all,arcades,malls,convenient stores,parks;he will bring you there

if you guys decided to eat at a cafe,he would always make an effort be a gentleman;opening the door for you,ordering your orders and always gives you some of his

a PDA person,would not be ashamed to show you off to others.holding hands,hugging and his arm wrapped around your shoulder is normal for you guys,obviously if you wanted to.very affectionate <3

his love language is DEFINITELY physical affection and quality time

very clingy,but he wouldnt disturb you if youre not in a good mood.but will always hug you though

likes to tease you,like a lot

the type of person to share an umbrella with you

would come to your house every atleast once a week

your parents love him!he’s always there to help if theres any mechanical problem,very good at fixing stuff

wore your skirts secretly and likes it

tries to do your hair and makeup once,but he made a mess.since then he’s too scared to try again even though you’ve accepted his apology TT

If you have anxiety/panic attacks in class,he would excuse both of you to the corridor or any small hallways to calm you down.he would always stay by your side.

always gifts you any random things he could find during school;flowers,pencils,gum.he said that way you can look at it if you miss him

if youre on cleaning duty,he would help you with it,not caring how busy he is.youre classmates are mostly jealous on how caring and helping gi-hun is.

i feel like he would be an athlete and excels in rugby or football ,so if theres any games/sport event at school,just know youll be his number one supporter!would always take pictures with you after the tournament/game

i mean,wow.how lucky is it to have a school athlete as your boyfriend,right?

lets you lend his jackets or blazer,anytime.he wont mind

hes not bad at academics,he just wont try his hardest.thats why everytime its a post-exam week,you would drag him to the library to study with him.

“y/n do i reallyyy need to study for this??cmon we could be doing something fun…”

eventually you feel bad and went to the store to get ice cream for him as a reward if he manage to study 3 chapters at the library

sends you small notes during class.it doesnt matter what it is,doodles,silly messages;he will do that

you guys are the most childish yet the ultimate couple goals

rarely fights with each other.he would apologize first and would treat you by giving you food

everyday after school,you will always walk back home with him,just the two of you,talking and laughing about stuff only you knew.

gives you forehead kisses bfore you enter your house as a goodbye

you guys would swap watches with each other,since he think its cute and gives him motivation to finish his works since its remind him of you

he would have some flaws but you love him anyways

in conclusion:the bestest boyfriend you could wish for <3

im sorry if this is short!

#squid game #seong gi hun #gi hun #squid game headcanons #squid game x reader #gi hun x reader #squid game school!au

[shoezuki]

Tommy's prison/revival arc isnt well written actually

Anyways ive been wanting to talk on it a while for a bit here but havent had the Time or like. The thought to. But im gonna go off now.

First off im gonna say im ASSUMING this stream and plot of tommy being in the prison with dream is written entirely by tommy and dream. Wilbur May be involved in the latest stream but im not sure.

Bringing tommy back to life after only three days of him being dead did practically nothing to progress plot, the characters, or audience's understanding. In fact i feel that it damaged Other characters' potential and plot and already established plotlines.

The 'development' aspect

A really, really easy way to see if anything has changed or developed through an arc or plotline is to straightup just compare the 'beginning' to the 'end' in terms of the barebones situation. So;

Beginning: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream, his own abuser who has hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. He's terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

End: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream after being killed then revived by him, his own abuser whos hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. Hes terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

Okay. This is simplified obvious. But the point stands. ALTHOUGH the troupe of 'going back to the beginning' is common in the heroes journey its. It doesnt work here. Has tommy learned anything? Has he changed as a character? Is the severity of their situation any different? Have we, as the audience, learned anything new?

Im going to expand on that last point because i think it has the strongest potential argument. Technically for progression in literature and development of plot/characters, things can Change without them being Aware as characters. It can change just by the audience's perception changing or being challenge.

Slight example: i've been reading a webcomic called Your Throne. Its a fantasy/political drama about a noble lady who entered a competition with another noble lady to become the empress. The main lady lost despite her being a better fit, and the comic starts with the main lady trying to assassinate the empress. Its assumed and stated by the main lady that she 'ruined her life' and so thats all the readers know. However, later in the novel we see flashbacks to the competition itself and find that the two ladies were extremely close friends, neither wanting anything bad for the other, but it was the emperor himself who manipulated both of them for his own agenda. Those flashbacks gave us an entirely different idea of who the real antagonist is and completely changed the two main ladies' relationship. THAT is how the audience's understanding of the plot and novel can be used to change the entire story. We dont get such here though

Some things that were brought to light during tommy being dead/revived:

Dream is capable of reviving people infinitely

This was already implicated and assumed. The book dream has being a means of reviving people has been around Technically since schlatt's death. This just 'confirmed' what was known

Time works differently/feels longer in the afterlife

This doesnt really impact much beyond emotions and implications. If we had more insight into what the 'afterlife' is like beyond nothingness perhaps so. But really it just makes it so wilbur being dead for what feels like 9 years and tommy having been dead for 2 months appeal to emotions.

Wilbur is evil

This one fuckin sucks i cant lie HSKSHSISSGEGDV. Like i was gon go on bout it and i will but it jus sucks. We have nothing to go on besides tommy's word, no examlles of what Horrible things wilbur said could make tommy assume this, etcetc. Ill most likely make a seperate post on how this feels like we're just going to get 'wilbur is a horrible villain' type with him. But still. I feel wilbur Not Being Good isnt a new development.

Dream is going to revive wilbur

This doesnt feel new either, part because phil had wanted to revive wilbur before (ill get to that more later) and that tommy had kept dream alive/initially imprisoned him with the idea of him reviving wilbur.

Dream believes wilbur will break him out of prison

Okau this makes no sense to me actually. I cwnt understand How exactly wilbur would be able to do this? Or why dream believes he even Could? Mans been dead for like 9 years and all we Know of the afterlife is that its black... nothingness. How would 9 years of that make wilbur capable of busting the prison open?

So. Yeah. All in all this plotline hasnt done anything new, developed things, or altered people's perceptions. We just ended up back at square one. Back to tommy being traumatized, dream being 'evil' and horrible and doing villain monologues, and them being stuck together.

Other characters and plotlines

Im pretty damn sure tommy's revival fucked up a LOT of other characters' plotlines and potential development. Honestly i feel this has a lot to do with the writers not communicating with other ccs well enough. But Ill talk about specific characters from least to most fucked over in my opinion:

Sam

He's the best off. He hqd been there during tommy's death, had been close to tommy, had majorly blamed himself and his own mistakes for tommy's death. His grief and self hatred was actually really heartbreaking and well done. The attached character of Sam Nook being unaware of tommy's death and simply waiting for tommy to return was a really good parallel to sam's own grief and anger. like it really snapped sam the guy who cares for tommy and wants to do Right by him back together with him as the Warden of the prison. Mixed personal life with 'just business'.

I feel it wouldve been nice to have him like. Have more time to grieve properly and come to terms eith tommy's death and his own involvement/influence over the events. Him finding tommy alive again Could be a means of him like. Facing his own grief head on if done well.

Ranboo

Mostly in the context of him and sam's argument do i feel it got screwed over. The weight of them yelling at each other and trying to find who to blame and the implications that Maybe ranboo was the one who caused the security breach that closed down the prison on tommy just.... doesnt hit so hard anymore. Because how can there be blame and arguments and a 'who done it' mystery when tommy popped up all fine again?

Puffy

I dony know much of her involvement or how she found out tommy died (besides metagaming shhhhh) but i saw her monologuing of how they 'failed' tommy and like. Her whole 'he was so young we the Adults failed him' spiel is like........... inconsequential? Now??? Like no dont worry he died but hes alright now.

Philza

BET YOU DIDNY EXPECT TO SEE THIS FUCKER!!!!!! But actually though i want to talk bout how this ties into phil. A LOT. for Zalbr ❤. But also because i see ppl tying phil to tommy's death n like nah shutup u doin it wrong. Ill go off more in a Wilbur Post. But essentially: i dont like that dream is now going to revive wilbur. I feel they arent going to tie philza into this Despite phil having originally been trying to revive his son and studying on it and Attempting and Failing. But now suddenly dream can just. Say some magic words and Poof wilbur lives? So we're just going to Kill philza's revival attempts plotline and leave that hanging? This made his efforts seem pointless and Wack like oh why didnt you just Say The Magic Words phil????

Niki

I feel really bad for niki. She hasnt been able to do a lore stream during tommy's 'death' (she tweeted she wanted to but her computer wasnt working) and considering her entire character.... that shit is important. We seen it with Jack Manifold how tommy's death impacted Him considering he literally wanted tommy dead. And since niki is in a similar boat to jack of trying to kill tommy and it being her Only goal...... thats extremely important.

BUT. i feel there wasnt any communication. Did she or anyone even know tommy would be revived? Did no one consider they could At Least let her do a single stream on it? Like jack manifold????

We couldve gotten a Really good niki lore stream. I genuinely was so excited for it and i dont regularly watch her. But we seen it with jack manifold which is why i dont feel he got screwed because mans genuinely did So Good he could pop off with anything n i think it works in His favour. But now........ for niki. Canonically she never even knew tommy was Dead. So its like nothing even happened for her. Is she just supposed to continue on trying to kill tommy with no progression?

What i think would work

This is more me being like 'hey @ the dsmp writers let me in' type speculation sbosegussgs. But i was thinkin on a Really easy way to 'fix' this without rewriting lore and the streams.

Dream should kill tommy again now that he's been revived and Leave Him Dead.

More development for the characters who are affected by his death Especially niki. More time for grief and self reflection and development

A chance for the audience to figure out what the 'afterlife' really is.

Dream is supposed to be smart and a master manipulator or something right? Why doesnt he use being able to revive tommy as a bargaining chip with sam for his own freedom?

The audience would now Know dream's intentions with tommy better, that this death isnt 'final', but we could still see other characters' grief and reactions and coping without it feeling cheap. Ive seen some 'but people dont know tommy is alive so hes still dead in their mind' but that sucks imo.

We'd know more on dream's ability to revive people and that he can just Do It on a whim (which i think sucks but hey im trying) but no one else would know this canonically

Okay. Im done. If you read this. Thankyou. I love you. Hmu.

#mcyt #dream smp #dream smp critical #tommyinnit #dream #im puttin this in main tags took me too fuckin long to write for me Not to #death mention #ask to tag