#I would’ve loved hanging out with them I should’ve. said something | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-soft-hornytiny · 1 year

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Loved.

Summary: They don’t love me as much as I love them was what you thought while leaving for the better. And it was too late when they realized how important you are to them.

Word count: 1.5k+

Genre: Angst

Pairing: poly!ateez x neutral!reader

Warnings: neglect (be careful while reading) let me know if i missed something.

Notes: this is an anon request, thanks for requesting. It reminded me of the reaction i did to you distancing yourself hehe i rarely write angst and im not sure how happy i am with it but I hope it’s to your liking!

Part 2 is up!

Taglist: after the cut (let me know if you wanna be added)

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Where did it go wrong? You thought while frantically packing your things. You had spent hours and hours to find what you did to deserve this but you couldn’t find anything. Nothing pointed towards you doing something wrong but nonetheless you were here, aggressively stuffing your things into a bag while tears were streaming down your face.

It had started about a month ago. You should’ve been suspicious when they started coming home even later than usual, some of them not at all. Always telling you that there was a meeting at work and that they had already eaten, leaving you to sit at the dining table alone. In the beginning you had still waited for them, hoping every day that at least one of them would be there and have dinner with you but it was always the same.

“Sorry.” “The boss invited us for dinner.” “I’m so tired I need to go to sleep.” “We had take out at work.”

It left you confused. There was a time where they fought about who can sit next to you during the meals but now it seemed like they didn’t care anymore. You had only realised what exactly was happening when you saw a picture on Wooyoung phone. A picture of them with one of their colleagues. A beautiful woman with a bright smile, surrounded by your boyfriends.

Jealousy had immediately risen inside of you but you didn’t say anything. It was not like they weren’t allowed to spend time with other people. Instead, you let your doubts eat you from the inside. Did they eat with her every day? Was she the reason they stayed at work longer than they would normally? Was she better than you?

The worst part was that they didn’t notice. They didn’t notice how you felt and that you were distancing yourself. You would’ve thought that at least one of them cares. But all they cared about was being with that woman.

What hurt you the most was that they didn’t tell you about her. If they had been honest with you, you wouldn’t have created all these scenarios in your head. But they lied to you.

“Yeosang?” You tried to get his attention by tapping his shoulder. It was rare that all eight of them were at home. You wanted to talk about it. Voice your anxious thoughts. Letting them go. “Who is that woman you all have been hanging around?” You asked him because you knew he would be honest with you. The room instantly became silent.

“Oh? Do you mean Haeun? She works with us.” Yeosang answered, not giving you a lot of information. “Why do you ask?”

You didn’t know what to say. “I-.. I’m just curious.” You stuttered, looking down at your feet.

“She is really fun to be around! Recently she even invited us for dinner and paid.” San said excitedly. His words stabbed right into your heart. This was worse than you expected.

They weren’t cheating on you. You somehow could feel that. It was worse. They hadn’t been doing anything with a bad intention. They simply enjoyed spending time with her.

They took you for granted.

From that conversation on you decided not to chase after them anymore. You didn’t wait until they came home to eat dinner. You didn’t ask them how their day was. The few messages that you got during the day, you ignored. If they wanted to tell you something they could tell you in person.

Your boyfriends on the other side didn’t realize how much time they were spending with Haeun. And how less they were spending time with you.

The first one to notice that something was weird about you was Mingi. He had always left you a message during the day. Sometimes about work, what they ate for lunch or when they would be coming home. And normally you would respond relatively quickly. But you didn’t answer at all.

He sat in his practice room, eyes glued on his phone. Read two hours ago. It said on his screen. Mingi had voiced his concerns to the others but they disagreed saying that you didn’t behave differently. But he missed you. He wanted to eat dinner with you. Yes, Haeun was fun and when she first got introduced to the team, it was exciting to meet someone new. But he missed the familiarity. It had always been important to Mingi that he was not taken for granted and now he was afraid that they had done exactly that to you.

But he didn’t act on his feelings. He didn’t want to cause drama where there was none.

The second one to miss you was Jongho. “Y/n what do you…” He wanted to ask you for your opinion on his singing when he turned around and faced an empty room. Right, Y/n isn’t here. He reminded himself, immediately feeling a sting in his heart. Every Tuesday you would follow him to practice and listen to him sing. But as soon as he thought about it he realized that you hadn’t been there in multiple weeks. Jongho instantly remembered Mingi’s concerns and decided to go look for him.

When they finally opened up about their feelings and what they had been observing, Mingi and Jongho went to tell the others.

Before they could even finish what they were trying to say, Seonghwa tried to call you. He was blaming himself for not giving you the attention you deserved. He wanted to beat himself up. It was so clear now that Mingi and Jongho had mentioned it.

How could they neglect you like this and not even notice?

And that was the same question you asked yourself as you zipped up your bag. Just as you wanted to put your phone into your pocket, it started ringing. It was Seonghwa. You took a deep breath as you declined the call and left the apartment.

You didn’t know for how long or how far but you needed to get away. Right after getting into the taxi you had ordered, you turned off your phone indefinitely.

“Y/n isn’t answering.” Seonghwa announced, his voice shaking.

“Get in the car. I’m driving us home.” Yunho said, leaving the room with big steps. The others following him. Yunho’s mind was racing. He wanted to stay calm. He needed to stay calm. He had to be strong. It didn’t matter how he felt, all he wanted was to see your face and make sure everything is fine. It was all just imagination. You will be waiting at home. He tried to tell himself while he was getting into the car.

Hongjoong was trying to remember any signs of you changing while he was squeezing himself into the car. He had never been home as much as the others so it wasn’t strange for him to eat alone or to sneak into the bedroom without waking anyone up. But something had been strange. This morning, when he came out of the bathroom, he caught you staring at him. And he could swear you had tears in your eyes. But since you didn’t say anything he had assumed you were fine. This damn assumption.

When they finally arrived at their apartment, San immediately jumped out of the car and ran to the door.

“Y/n? Y/n!” He called you before he even entered the building. Wooyoung and Yeosang were right behind him. After finally opening the door they stormed in searching for you in their home. The rest followed them slowly, scared to not find you.

It wasn’t until he heard a sob that Wooyoung slowed down. A sob? He made his way over to your room, gently pushing the door open. His eyes widened as he saw San kneeling in front of your bed, a note in his hands and his face buried in your sheets.

“Sannie?” Wooyoung slowly walked closer to his loved one. “Y/n…” San sobbed, not able to form a sentence. “What is it Sannie?” Wooyoung kneeled down next to him, softly taking the note from his hands. As he started reading, tears formed in his eyes.

And that was when the others finally found them. They looked at Wooyoung, hope and pain in their eyes at the same time as he slowly shook his head. Yeosang’s legs gave in as he saw the expression on Wooyoung’s face. You were gone. No no no that’s impossible he thought, staring to the ceiling with a blank face. You couldn’t leave them.

Still not wanting to believe what was happening, Yunho harshly snapped the note out of Wooyoung’s hand.

I am going on a trip. Don’t text or call me, I need time to think. I hope you understand. I loved you so much.

His head went numb.

Loved.

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Tags: @jonghoisbabie @multidreams-and-desires @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers-writes @serialee @crimsonbubble @cometoceantrenches @em--ilysm @deja-vux @kawaiiloli00 @ddeonghwva @aaaaajonghooooo @sansbun @cookies-n-joong @plonys @hijirikaww @nari-nim @yunkiwii @mingi-ivity @racheloveyunho @seongsangsgf @jhmylove @lizsvcks @yunhobabygurl @leoninadecorazones @kerra-that-one-random-fangirl @star1117-archives

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#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez story #neutral!reader #ateez angst #angst #fanfiction #ateez fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #kpop fanfic #ateez fanfic #poly!ateez #kpop #kpop angst #kpop imagines #request #anon #📌

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ash5monster01 · 5 months

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Learning to Love Part 3

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 3.9k

Part 2 ←→ Part 4

Masterlist

When Rafe said work event the last thing you had pictured was this. You should’ve considering the dress he had sent over to your apartment. Yet now here you were, standing in a cocktail dress a vibrant cherry red. It dipped deep down into your chest and the skirt flowed out from the waist which was perfect for hiding your stomach. It was something you would’ve picked for yourself and somehow Rafe had done just that. Now he walked into the hotels grand ballroom, you latched onto his arm, while he wore another suit looking handsome as ever, and smiling at everyone he passed. Either he didn’t notice the looks they gave both of you or he was ignoring them. You were to nervous to care.

"Breath" his voice invading your space makes you jump slightly and you look up to him and his permanent smirk. Rafe admires this new side of you, one that isn't in a bathing suit or jeans and T-shirt. Your makeup is done to perfection, eyes sparkling up into his own, and the dress you wore accentuated how perfect all of you was. Rafe wished you could see that, he wished you didn't think he thought less of you. Yet how could you believe any different when he was dating you to prove he could date unattractive women. He's lucky you hadn't slapped him but when he considers the reasons why you didn't he realizes that is what you believe. That you are unworthy of a guy like him. He wished you knew he was nothing special.

"I'll breath once I have a drink" you tell him, clutching tightly to his arm. His warm laugh escapes past his lips and unexpected to you he leans down and presses a sweet kiss to your forehead. With a face now as red as your dress you desperatley need that drink more than before.

"Let's hit the bar sweetheart" he tells you and you don't disagree as he leads you that way, arm slipping free of your own and snaking around your waist. You hate that getting closer to him comforts you so you focus on your destination and prepare the get tipsy enough to make it through the night. You allow Rafe to order your drinks as you nervously scan across the crowd of many good looking and professional people.

"Listen, I know this is a lot" Rafe says as he places your drink in your line of sight, stopping your anxious watching. His sentence hangs like you know there is more coming so you take a quick gulp and turn to face him. "But you're comfortable with me, that's what this whole week as been about. So just pretend it's one of those nights, you and me, no one else"

"Sounds easy enough" you tell him and Rafe smiles, stepping more into your personal space and pushing your curled hair behind your ear, the hair Mila had spent an hour doing while gushing about the date you had planned.

"It is, we don't care about what these people think" he tells you and you chuckle and sip from your drink.

"Isn't that the whole point?" and your words sting because your right. Hadn't Rafe done all of this because he cared about what these people think? You don't miss the sad look on his face, the way his eyebrows draw together.

"Not anymore" he says and you aren't entirely sure what he means by that, but based on the way he swirls his straw in his drink you know there is so much more going on behind the eyes of the beautiful boy in front of you. "My sister doesn't talk to me anymore"

"What?" this sentence from Rafe comes out of no where and you look to him to see pain for the first time running through his features.

"My sister Sarah. When we were young we were close but when we got older I pushed her away. I hated her because I knew she was my Dad's favorite. I fought so hard to get the same treatment he gave her and in the middle of it all I ended up losing my sister. Now my Dad is gone and the damage between me and her is impossible to repair. So I don't want to spend the rest of my life pleasing others while pushing people away. So yes we're here to make a point but it has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you" this is the most information about Rafe's personal life you had ever gotten. Your heart yearns for him in a way different than it has all week. It's the moment you realize your feelings for him were moving from silly little crush to something real. Without responding you step forward and wrap your arms around his waist. Rafe accepts the hug, squeezing you just as close.

"I bet you can fix it, it may take time but the good thing about life is you always have room to heal" Rafe loves your optimism and when you pull away it's him who takes you by surprise by leaning down and pecking a kiss to your lips. As your brain tries to process what exactly just happened a man approaches the both of you.

"Rafe, happy to see you here" the smirk on this mans face is different from the one Rafe wears. This one is sly, like he knows something you don't and it makes you hate it.

“You too Levi, hey this is Y/N” Rafe says as he gives him a firm handshake and you quickly put a wide smile on your face, looking to the boy now named Levi.

“Y/N huh, where’d you find this loser?” he nods his head towards Rafe, taking your hand into his own and giving it a firm shake. His actions seem kind, the gesture and teasing joke, but you can see it in his eyes. He’s wondering why the hell Rafe would walk in here with a girl like you.

“My bar, in his defense he didn’t quite know it was mine until after we hit it off” you come back quickly, matching his practiced performance because the last thing you were going to do today was let a little man with a big complex undermine you.

“Your bar, interesting. Where’s that?” he asks, his arms crossing over his chest and you can see the amusement in his eyes. How he already thinks less of you.

“He just wants to know so he can add another place to the list of bars he can drink at during his lunch break” Rafe swoops in, arm wrapping around your waist and your thankful he’s standing on your side of enemy lines.

“He says that like he doesn’t come with me” Levi says more towards you than him and you laugh even though you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“Well I’m sure you’ve heard of my place, Skull Dive” something flashes behind Levi’s eyes. More than likely recognition.

“We go there for lunch often, great food, cute waitresses” Levi says the last part more directed towards Rafe and you now realize Levi was one of the men with Rafe that called Callie unattractive. Asshole.

“I’m happy to hear it” you tell him even though you’re ready to punch him and based on the way you’ve tensed against Rafe he knows it too.

“We’re going to find a table, nice talking with you Levi” Rafe butts in before his idiotic friend can add anymore and Levi pretends to be disappointed as you grab your drinks and walk away.

“Enjoying yourself yet?” Rafe asks with a teasing tone and you roll your eyes, sipping the rest of your drink back in one gulp.

“A few more of these and a little less assholes and I will be” you grin at him and he smiles, giving your waist a squeeze as you approach a table. Rafe pulls out your chair and kisses your cheek like the gentleman he is before grabbing your glass and excusing himself to get more drinks. You take this time to scan the room around you, now a little less intimidated knowing most of the poeple here were just like Levi. Too cocky for their own good and missing out on the true point of life, to just enjoy it, not be the best.

"You're new" the voice startles you as a blonde girl slides into the chair across from you. She is one of the prettiest girls you've ever actually seen in real life. Her hair flows down her whole back, blue eyes so bright you're pretty sure they're peircing straight through you, and she's so small she must wear a size 0. Hence why she's in the most form fitting royal blue mermaid dress you've ever seen. Not a roll is visible on her and suddenly you're more self consious than you were before. Yet she smiles at you with the firendliest smile you've seen all night so you pull yourself together.

"Yeah, I guess I am" you smile at her even though you can't help but realize she is the kind of girl Rafe should really be here with.

"It's so nice having a fresh face around here, I'm AJ. I work in marketing and these events are such a drag" she's bubbly, energetic, and kind. She has it all, you wonder what kind of good she has done in her past lives to have it all in this one.

"I'm Y/N, I'm here with my date-" but you're cut short when Rafe scoots the chair out beside you and sets the fresh drink in front of you. AJ's eyes widen only slightly before shooting a wide smile at him.

"Mr. Cameron, quite the date you have Y/N" there is a weight to her words that you wish you knew what it meant.

"AJ we've talked about this" Rafe says with familiarity and jealousy burns in your stomach at the sight of them. So picture perfect. Movie star perfect.

"What ever do you mean Mr. Cameron?" she says in a teasing and flirty tone, she leans foreward, chin resting on her hand. Rafe recognizes the flirting and does what any good boyfriend, fake boyfriend would do.

"AJ here has known me since highschool and has now taken to referring to me as Mr. Cameron instead of Rafe. It drives me nuts" he tells you, hand reaching to squeeze your own, and you're comforted only slightly but entirely aware there is a history there.

"He's a CEO of a company now Y/N, he should wear the title proudly" and the way Rafe stiffens beside you tells you everything you need to know about how he feels on this subject.

"I'm sure he does, but as a boss myself it is hard to hear people who were once your peers refer to you as some heirachy. Makes you feel more normal to keep things more on a first name basis" you say, squeezing Rafe's hand back and he smiles wide like in just a single moment you've understood entirely how he felt about this.

"Rafe was the king of our class, nothing new to him" she teases but you know he doesn't see it that way, that this was a part of the same past he was trying to move on from.

"And AJ was the wild and free one" he shoots back and she just grins, eyes sparkling with a lifetime you had never dared to live before. You played things safe because risk would just get you walked all over.

"I still am Rafe, still am" she says as she pushes herself to stand again and you try not to admire how perfect she is, knowing all the men looked on for her tiny waist and large chest.

"Sounds like something your boss shouldn't know about" he teases but there's a sharp edge to his voice, one that say he doesn't want her messing around here anymore.

"Well it was nice meeting you Y/N, goodluck with this one" and before you can return the pleasantries she has turned and gone with a sway of her hips, shiny white teeth flashing smiles at everyone she passes. When she's a safe enough distance away you sneak a glance at the boy beside you just to see he is already staring back with a soft smile.

"I'm pretty sure you're the only person here that I like right now" he says and you can't help the blush that flushes your cheeks. So far you both had been fighting against people who more than likely would never understand you both, you were an alliance.

"You sure? AJ here seemed to know you pretty well. I'd almost say it seems like you've dated before" it was teasing but also curiosity, a need to know if Rafe had gone from a supermodel girl to you.

"We did, a long time ago" that is the answer you're looking for but regret it almost instantly considering the way it sears your heart in two.

"And it didn't work out. She seemed nice enough, just a bit ditzy" you say and he shrugs, tapping his ring against the whiskey glass in his hand.

"We didn't really connect we mostly just-" but his words hang in the air and you realize how that sentence was supposed to end. Slept together. Two good looking people with mutual attraction, pleasuring the other. No strings attached, simple good fun, something you had never dared to do. Anyone you had ever revealed yourself to had to fight to earn your trust and even then it depends on if they were patient enough to wait. You figured it was something you'd never be comfortable with. "Look it doesn't matter, she doesn't matter"

"Yeah, we're just here to have fun" you say and he nods, eyes shining into your own.

"Exactly" he says picking up his glass and clinking it against your own, and he smiles before you both dump back the rest of your drinks. This one was for fake dating and getting drunk enugh to pretend that you ever have a chance with someone like Rafe because if he had slept with a girl like AJ he would never downgrade to you. That was something you'd just have to learn to be okay with but until then, at least you could get drunk.

Which is exactly what you end up doing. By the end of the night you've had more drinks than you can count and Rafe being ever the gentlemen that he was he did too. Actually went drink for drink with you which was surprising considering owning a bar had made you quite good at holding your liqour. It made you wonder what kind of expeirience he had with it to be able to keep up with you. Majority of the people had filed out, only a few stragglers and the two of you giggling at each other even though neither of you were saying anything really funny.

"We can't drive home" Rafe giggles beside you and you agree, noting how there is twice as many candles on the table then there was before. You hadn't been this drunk in a while.

"Can we go swimming?" your question causes him to snort in laughter but he realizes fairly quickly that you're serious. You hands are pulling at the straps of your dress like its stuffy in here and the movement causes his eyes to dip down the deep cut of your dress, cleavage on perfect display, and suddenly he was so very thirsty. He needed something before he was smothering his face in the softness of your chest.

"You can't swim here unless you have a room" he tells you, arms wrapping around your chair and pulling you close to him. With your legs now touching you can't help but thnk about the warmth radiating from him and how strong he was for pulling you close.

"Sounds like that solves both of our problems" you say and he knows it isn't meant to come out suggestive but in a way you did just suggest getting a hotel room with him.

"You want to get a hotel room with me?" he asks, eyebrows raised and you smile innocently at him.

"Sure" you giggle and he knows you don't hear any meaning behind these words, that you're just as drunk as him. He wishes sober that you would agree to get a hotel room with him, that you would believe it was possible to do so with him. He knows that you don't think he's attracted to you but he was the moment you sat down next to him and after getting to know you all week he was even more. He had been so upset with himself over knowing he had spent his whole life dating girls he thought he was supposed to be attracted to when after all looks had nothing to do with it. You were just as beautiful as the next person, just as beautiful as AJ, and he wished more than anything that he could take you up to that hotel room and show you that for real. Show you just how perfect all of you were to him.

"Then let's do it" he tells you while standing, helping pull you to your feet. You both laugh like children, stumbling to leave the ballroom and find the front desk. The guy standing behind doesn't seem surprised to see you two, probably the both of you not being the first couple to buy a hotel room that night. You picutred the various affairs that could've went down tonight but you were just happy to be here with Rafe.

"Floor 12 room 1,203" the guy tells you both, handing over the key card that would now magically open the doors to any room in this hotel you wanted, well except for the other rooms. Rafe grins at you while he thanks the man before leading you to the elevator. Waving the key the door opens and he helps you inside before pushing the button to the roof.

"I thought he said the twelth floor?" you question and Rafe smiles before pointing to the words beside the roof button. Pool & Rooftop Bar. You start to excitedly bounce beside him and he can only laugh as he hugs you close to him.

When the doors open you’re met with the cool night air and even better an abandoned rooftop. It seems the bar had been closed to accommodate the event you were both just at. How lucky. The aquamarine pool glows in the dark and the steam swirls above it and into the night air. You groan out loud and the sound has Rafe trying to calm himself down. You break free of his grip and walk slowly towards the pool. He watches as you slip off your shoes and reach towards the back of your dress. His mouth goes agape when he realizes you’re removing your bra and sliding it out from underneath the red fabric that clings to your body.

“Wet bras are the worst” you pout, dropping it beside your shoes. Rafe can’t utter a word as you gracefully dive in the pool, only a blur of red under the surface before popping back up and smiling wide at him. “Come on handsome, it feels great”

“You’re gonna kill me” you’re too drunk to know what he means but you watch him remove his suit jacket and shoes all before running his hands down the buttons of his shirt. Your mouth dries when he reaches for the button on his pants, them falling around his ankles and leaving him in tight black boxers.

“Jump” you call out and Rafe chuckles before jogging towards the edge and leaping high into the air. He cannonballs beside you and you laugh loudly as he pops up and shakes his head to rid himself of some water.

“How big was my splash?” he acts like a little boy and you can only smile as you tread towards him.

“Huge, I think it went over the edge of the building” you tell him, eyes glancing towards the infinity edge of the pool that looked over the skyline of a town you and Rafe both lived in for so long not knowing each other.

“Good, that’s what I was going for” he says as he swims towards you. Your hair is slicked back from the water and he realizes for the first time he is seeing all of your face. You’re even more beautiful than he thought.

“I’ve always loved the water” you say, head tipping back to look at the stars. Rafe stares at the expanse of your throat, imagining what kind of noises you’d make if he pressed his lips to it.

“Why’s that?” he asks and you sigh, laying down to float on your back. You’re silent so long he expects you not to answer but then finally you speak.

“When I was young I loved the water just for fun but when I was a bit older I loved it because it was the only time I could feel as feather light as the others girls. In the water you defy gravity and considering most days I wanted to float away from the world, water was the next best thing” Rafe knows you’d have never said this to him sober, this actually being the first time you had openly discussed your size with him. His heart yearns for you, knowing the pain that must come along with not fitting the normalized beauty standard. So he doesn’t respond and instead grabs your arm and floats you towards him.

Lifting your head you look at him to see a different look in his eyes than you ever have before. You allow him to move you anyway, his hands setting your own on his shoulders before pulling your waist towards his own. Your breath hitches when his hand slips down your thigh and lifts it to wrap around his waist. In the water there’s no weight at all so you wrap your other leg around his waist and pull him flush to you. His hands settle on your ass and your mind is screaming at you to not take this to heart. Yet based on the heat that pools at the bottom of your stomach you know this isn’t the case because you have your legs wrapped around a man like Rafe Cameron.

“I’ll float with you” it’s probably the sweetest thing someone has ever said to you and for the first time since Rafe kissed you on the beach you press a kiss on his lips, prepared to blame it on your drunkenness but let him know how much it means to you.

“Was that real or fake?” he asks when you pull away, your head tucking beside his own as you hug him tight.

“Real but only because that was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me” you whisper and your response is enough for him to press his lips to your neck, hot breath fanning over the dewey skin, and raising goodbumps. You breathe heavily into his ear and fight everything in your power to not grind into him but you know he feels it too. You also know he wouldn’t never be in this position with you sober so you soak it in and already prepare for the heartbreak of having to let it go.

For now, you’ll just float.

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harrystylescherry · 2 months

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Part Four: Terms and Conditions

A/N: FINALLLYYYYY

what it is: a summer romance in the south of france that breeds nothing but hurt

word count: 4.6k

pls pls pls reblog if you liked it!

i’d love to hear your feedback :)

SERIES MASTERLIST

here we go:

June 9

Harry hadn’t seen Della in more than a few days. And it wasn’t for lack of trying. If she was as unknowable as she said she was, it was because she was unreachable. On more than one occasion, during the first three days of not seeing her, he had called her—though he only let it ring a few times before hanging up. Even after they had laid the ground rules—or conditions, as she called them—and made it clear that she was attracted to him and wanted him in a very particular way, he was still feeling insecure.

“Anything I’d like?” Della asked. Harry nodded. “I don’t know if you could handle what I like.”

Harry felt something stir in the pit of his stomach. He cleared his throat and willed himself to not think of all the things that could mean. It wasn’t exactly the right moment for a hard on. “I could.”

Della came forward and leaned her forearms on the table. “Let’s say you could,” she challenged. “But are you willing to follow the conditions?”

He had never been very good with rules. It was why most of his relationships ended. But this wasn’t a relationship, he reminded himself. There was less at stake. It would be easier. He leaned forward and mimicked her position. “More than.”

It was when she sat back with a smirk that Harry thought he might be a little in over his head.

The conditions (rules) were as follows:

No sleepovers (which he should’ve seen coming)

No telling anyone they’re involved (he may have already broken that one, but he wasn’t going to tell her that) (he also was trying very hard not to be offended that she hadn’t bragged about meeting him to anyone)

No meeting up before three o’clock in the afternoon (this made no sense to harry, but Della swore no one met up with their fuck buddies before happy hour—from his experience, that wasn’t exactly true but she spoke with too much authority for him to question it)

No dates (if they went out to dinner or grabbed drinks, they would split the bill fifty-fifty–Harry only agreed to this to avoid an argument but there was no way in hell he’d let her pay for anything)

No catching feelings. The second someone came close, they had to be over (Harry’s cheeks flamed on this one, and he really pretended not to know why)

After they finished their drinks, Harry walked her to her door and they parted ways without a kiss. He would’ve, but Della refused to kiss him after having kissed someone else. Harry was grateful that she at least respected him that much, but part of him wanted her so badly that it wouldn’t have minded. So it was probably best that she didn’t.

He had just come back from a run when his phone buzzed with a text from the enigma herself. It was a link to a jazz bar with the question: Tonight?

Harry Googled the place and saw it was a fifteen minute drive from him and a twenty minute walk from her flat.

He texted back. I’ll pick you up at 9?

I’ll walk

No you won’t. I’ll pick you up at 9.

Fine, bossy

You know you like it

Maybe only a little. For now, at least. Try me again in a few hours

Harry rubbed his palm over his smile, trying to wipe it away. See you later, Del

He had sent the message before he could think through the nickname. For a second, he stared at the message with a stomach full of nerves–but they vanished when the little thumbs up appeared above the bubble.

“You can’t do that,” Della’s voice was stern as she spoke into her phone. She was half-ready for the beach, in her blue bikini with her cover dress gripped in her fist.

“I don’t understand what the big deal is,” Josh said, annoyed on the other end of the line. “You told me to find somewhere else to live, and I did.”

“You weren’t supposed to find somewhere in the same fucking building.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me.”

“What I’m doing to you? That’s real fucking rich, Della. You broke off our engagement. You made me think you loved me and then moved to another fucking country!”

“I’m sorry–I don’t know how many times I have to say that, and I don’t–I’m not arguing about that anymore. I didn’t end things the way I should’ve. I–”

“I fucking followed you across the ocean.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that! Actually, I remember very specifically telling you that I had to go and do this for me.”

“There was nothing specific about the way you ended things and you know it.”

“Josh, you can’t live there.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore.”

Della scoffed. “As if I ever told you what to do.”

“You’re right, and you don’t get to start now. I don’t even know who you are anymore. You’ve changed, and not for the better. Honestly, you breaking things off was probably one of the best things you’ve ever done for me.”

She could feel the rage seep into her bones. It was a new sensation–one that she had felt for the first time when Josh had shown up to her flat in London with a suitcase and a two-year visa stamped in his passport. It had become a familiar feeling since then, one that she didn’t know how she’d ever really lived without before. Every time she felt it, she realized that this is what it was like to have convictions, to have boundaries, and to have them crossed and violated. This is what it felt like to want to fight back instead of being disappointed for a few days before letting it all go.

“Go home, Josh. Go back to Vermont. Go away.”

“I have a job here, now.”

“So find a new one.”

“I paid for a visa.”

“I don’t care. Just get the fuck out of my life.”

“Della–”

She hung up and took a shaky breath. She looked at the hardwood floor and considered lying down. It’s what she usually did when the feelings were too much, when it felt as though they would consume her. She’d lay on the floor and wait for the sadness or grief or disappointment or melancholy to seep from her. Anger didn’t work like that, though. It simmered, wanting to boil over and explode. Her body buzzed with the energy. She wanted to throw something, punch something. Suddenly, she felt she could relate to teenage boys–and she grimaced with the thought.

She grabbed her journal and shoved it in her bag. All she knew how to do was write. It’s all she could do. She’d bake in the sun and swim laps in the sea and carve her anger into the page.

Harry’s thumb tapped anxiously on the steering wheel the entire drive to Della’s. They hadn’t spoken since they made their plans that morning and his on my way text had gone unanswered.

The day had dragged as he counted down the hours until now. And he hated that. He hated how invested he already was, how badly he wanted to see her, to feel her body beneath his hands.

He was chalking it all up to sheer lust. Della was beautiful–striking. And she was a riddle. He had already been exposed to so many different sides of her–versions of her–that he didn’t know which ones were real and which were an act. He also couldn’t decide which version was his favorite; Shy Della, who fumbled with her keys and blushed every time he looked at her, or Self-Assured Della, who sat down with him after kissing someone else, not a hint of embarrassment anywhere on her, and told him that she’d like to forge an arrangement.

He was prepared to walk up to the door and buzz her flat (3E, he remembered) and was slightly disappointed that he wouldn’t get the chance. She stood in front of the Hermes storefront with her head buried in her phone. A breath caught in his chest at the sight of her in her periwinkle silk dress. The neckline dipped between her breasts in a way that made his mouth water, and the fall of the fabric made it seem as though it was cut precisely for her. He could see every line of her body–the curve of her waist, roundness of her hips, a tiny indent where her belly button was, the outline of her nipples. He had to collect himself before stepping out of the car.

Her hair was thrown up in a casual ponytail, with wisps of red baby hairs floating around the base of her neck, over her ears and along her forehead. In her flat, gold sandals, she was so effortlessly beautiful, so chic, Harry suddenly felt a little unworthy and very insecure.

“Hi, love,” he said once he stood in front of her.

She jolted in surprise before looking up from her phone. “God, sorry, I didn’t even hear you pull up.”

She had more freckles than the last time he saw her, and the tops of her shoulders were colored pink. His girl had gotten some sun.

He physically cringed at himself. She wasn’t his anything. He’d do well to remember that.

“You’re beautiful,” he said.

Her eyes looked him over appraisingly. “So are you.” She tucked her phone into her bag. “Ready?”

Harry nodded and led her to the car with a hand on her lower back. He made sure to open the door before she could get to it and only closed it once she was tucked in and buckled up.

He wanted to punch himself–or throw himself into oncoming traffic. Really, he was willing to do whatever he needed to stop being so nervous, so unlike himself. He was so aware of her, of her eyes on him, of every small movement she made in the passenger seat as he settled in and pulled away from the curb.

“You’re quiet,” he commented when he realized they had made half the drive in silence.

She tossed him a smirk. “So are you.”

“Sorry, I’m just a little–” He stopped himself before he could say something that would scare her away. Because he knew it would. If he admitted to her he was nervous, then she’d remind him that this wasn’t a date, and so there would be nothing to be nervous about, and then she’d see that it didn’t matter and she’d call this off before it could even start. He’d come to know her enough to know exactly how that would go (and he only knew her so well thanks to the hours he’d spent picking apart every interaction they had). “Is everything okay?”

She sighed. “Yeah, just having to deal with something from home. A very annoying something,” she muttered.

“Is it your ex?”

Della’s head spun to look at him. “How’d you know?”

He shrugged. “Lucky guess. So what’s the deal?”

“What do you mean?”

“What happened that sent you running all the way to France for the summer?”

“I did not run to France to get away from him. That’s what London was supposed to be for, actually. It didn’t exactly work the way I hoped.”

With a quick look at her, he caught the grimace on her face. “And how did you hope that would go?”

“He was supposed to forget about me.”

Harry scoffed.

“What?”

“There’s nothing remotely forgettable about you.”

At a stoplight, he looked over at her and smirked at the look of shock on her face. She recovered quickly.

“I need to be drunk to have this conversation with you.”

“That can be arranged.”

The jazz bar was underground, the entrance a few steps below street level. The stained glass door was held open by the man working the door, and the couple slipped inside.

It was hazy, though Della wasn’t sure why, considering smoking wasn’t allowed indoors–proven by the crowd of people inhaling and chatting on the street outside. The small tables were crowded together, forcing Della to lift herself onto her tiptoes as to not knock over the glass of the table nextdoor as she moved to her seat.

A hand wrapped around her hip. “ça va?”

Della looked to the man the broad hand was attached to. He was hot, the French kind of hot, and if she wasn’t here with Harry, she’d probably end up sitting in the chair between him and his friend. But she was with Harry, so she sent him a polite smile and said, “Bien, merci.”

She slid into her seat and out of his grasp. When she looked up at Harry, his jaw was tight. He hadn’t liked that. His reaction made her giddier than it should’ve.

“Humid in here, no?” She leaned over the small table to ask, moving the tealight towards the center of the table.

Harry looked around. “Yeah.” His jaw was still ticking.

Honestly, she was surprised at his jealousy. She didn’t think he had it in him; he just seemed too sweet, too go-with-the-flow, and hands-off to care enough to get jealous. Clearly, she underestimated him.

Josh never really got jealous, and Della was always just toxic enough that it sort-of bothered her. There were a few months her sophomore year where she had found herself going out of her way to spark it. It never worked. She understood being secure in a relationship, being comfortable and sure about where you stood with someone, but it wasn’t about that. It was about feeling wanted, desired. It was about knowing that someone wanted you so much that they got just a little unhinged about it. A little possessive, like they wanted every piece of you for themself.

But Della was who she was, and so she had simply let it go and accepted that it just wasn’t part of who Josh was.

Harry’s eyes were locked on the stage, his jaw still tight. Clearly, he wanted to say something, whether to Della or the Frenchman she wasn’t sure, but he felt he couldn’t. Probably like it wasn’t his place. And it wasn’t, really. They weren’t together. This wasn’t a date. They were just two people…hanging out.

“Should we get a bottle of wine?” She asked, while lifting the worn black book off the edge of the table and flipping through it.

“Yeah, whatever you want.”

She let the smooth notes of the piano fill the space between them. When he still didn’t look at her, and the furrow in his brow didn’t lessen, she reached under the table and dropped her hand on his linen clad thigh.

His eyes snapped to her’s.

“Should we get a red?” She asked casually, as she squeezed the taut muscle beneath her palm. Why she was trying to reassure him, she didn’t know–couldn’t even begin to think about why she cared. Not when she was meant to be doing the exact opposite.

He dropped his hand onto her’s and smiled. “Yeah, we could do that.”

“Cool.” She pulled her hand away and held the book out to him. “You pick.” When he went to grab it, she pulled it just out of his reach and narrowed her eyes. “But nothing crazy. Fifty-fifty, remember?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Drunk enough to have that conversation?” Harry asked as Della drank the last of what was in her glass.

“What conversation?”

“The ex-boyfriend one.”

She scrunched her nose and Harry melted at the cuteness of it. Della eyed the bottle in front of her. There was probably a glass and a half left, but Harry didn’t plan on drinking anymore (he had precious cargo to drive home) so he poured the rest into her glass.

“Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing.”

“What’s that?”

“You think if you liquor me up, I’ll tell you all my secrets.”

“You’re drinking wine, not liquor.” She rolled her eyes. “And no, not your secrets.” He shrugged in earnest. “Just trying to get to know you.”

“I already told you–”

“Yeah, you’re unknowable. So you said.”

“Exactly.”

“But I don’t believe that.”

“Not believing something doesn’t make it any less true,” she said before taking a sip.

“The same way that believing something doesn’t make it true.”She narrowed her eyes at him. “You don’t want to share, I can accept that. As someone who has had to fight for every ounce of privacy they got–and even still sometimes lost–I understand. But c’mon, Del, it’s not that you’re inherently unknowable, it’s that you want to be.”

He couldn’t tell if he’d gone too far. Her expression was unreadable. Panic tightened his chest and he took a long drink of water.

Her pretty mouth twisted in…he couldn’t tell if it was annoyance or amusement or sheer, unfortunate acceptance that he’d just dragged them into the kind of emotional place she clearly never wanted to go.

“I don’t know who I am. That’s why I’m here,” she said. “I’m unknowable to me.” Harry leaned forward, hanging on to every word she spoke. “London was supposed to help me. It was going to be mine, only mine. I was going to have to make decisions. Real ones. There’d be no one to catch me, or lead me, or influence me. Following the wind wouldn’t be an option because I’d have to survive–I’d have to thrive in order to survive. And then that was taken away from me, and everything was all washed up and confusing all over again. Not easy–no, not easy at all. It could’ve been, if I let it, but by then I’d learned how to have some resolve. I had conviction of my own. And I couldn’t give it up.” She finally looked up at him, though her fingers were still toying with the stem of her glass. “So I came here. To hold onto it. I can’t lose it, Harry, not when I just found it. Not when I need it.”

He understood what she was saying. He heard her. She wasn’t in a place to let anyone in right now, not when what she had found for herself was still so fragile. Della seemed to know herself better than she thought. She knew enough to know what she needed. If she thought herself as easily influenced, well, Harry could argue with that, but he didn’t know her before she came here. He didn’t know the version of her that she was so clearly trying to shake, and he wouldn’t challenge that. He wouldn’t make this any harder for her than it already seemed to be. But he wasn’t going to give her up either, so he’d be whatever she needed–whatever she wanted.

“Okay,” he said, allowing an easy smile to take over his face.

“Okay?” He didn’t like the insecurity in her voice.

He nodded once, sure. “Okay.”

She could keep her secrets and her heart as long as she gave him everything else.

Della was tipsy. Definitely, so.

Which was fine. She was having fun, and the music moved from smooth to boisterous without a single warning. Something her and jazz had in common.

On her way back from the restroom, where she waited in line for ten minutes to take the longest pee of her life, the Frenchman caught her hand. He’d caught her eye with his a few times throughout the last hour or so, but Della had done well with ignoring him. The glances weren’t creepy. More interested, questioning.

And she knew exactly what he was questioning. She was in France, for god’s sake. She raised a single eyebrow.

“Est-ce que je peux t'offrir un verre?”

He wanted to buy her a drink? She shouldn’t have been surprised by his boldness, but still, she was clearly there with someone else.

She looked at him, and then back at Harry, whose jaw was tight, eyes set in a glare.

Her hand slipped from his grasp as she leaned against Harry’s side, her hips level with his chest. She dropped a casual hand into his hair and toyed with the waves. His hand slid up the backs of her legs and over the curve of her ass to hold onto her hip. She looked down at him and smiled. “Non.”

His eyes flicked to Harry. “ Peut-être après?”

Maybe after? She wanted to laugh in his face, and also flick his forehead. Clearly, he knew Harry didn’t speak French. If he thought there was any chance he could understand their conversation, there was no way he'd be so forward. Her anger flared at the lack of respect.

Even though it shouldn’t. She’d think about that later.

With way too much ease, she settled herself onto Harry’s lap. For a second, he stiffened, clearly caught off guard, but within seconds, his arms were around her waist. The guy wasn’t worth a response, so she didn’t give one. Only turned towards Harry and kissed his jaw. It was still tight.

She lifted her hand and held it on either side, massaging her fingers into where she could feel him clenching. “Relax, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Not the point.”

“I know,” she whispered. Then giggled, the wine fueling her more than anything else.

“What?”

“I think I like you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Jealous. Possessive.”

“Protective,” he corrected.

She smiled. “That too.”

He shook his head, and lowered his lips to her’s.

A knock on the edge of their table broke their bubble.

A different man, older, stood behind Della’s chair, his hand holding the back of it. He pointed to his left, where a few feet away, his group stood around a table. In French, he asked if they were using the chair.

Clearly, she wasn’t in her right mind, because she told him he could have it.

“Wait, sir–” Harry started as the man took the chair away.

“Let him have it,” Della said and she relaxed further into him. “I’m perfectly fine where I am. Prefer it, actually.”

She really was going to be the death of him. All her squirming and readjusting each time she reached for her wine or water had hardened him beyond the point of comfort. It was taking everything in him to get it to go down–barely. He just needed to relax enough to get out of there without poking anyone in the eye.

“Ready?” Della asked after she drained the rest of her water.

“Yeah,” he said, though he was not. As she stood from his lap, he tried, as inconspicuous as possible, to readjust himself, managing to tuck himself into his waistband. He only had to deal with the discomfort until they got to the car. He could do that.

He led her out by her hips, strategically holding her in front of him as they moved through the tables and up the stairs.

“That was cruel,” he whispered in her ear after pulling her against him once they got to the car.

“What was?” She looked up at him with mock innocence over her shoulder.

He bit the inside of his cheek, reaching around her to open the car door. With a squeeze to her ass, he nudged her towards the seat. “In. Now.”

She paused and looked at him, playfulness and heat in her eyes.

He huffed in playful annoyance. “What now?”

“I think I do like you bossy.”

Before he could reply, she slid into the seat and Harry closed the door.

He knew, undoubtedly, Della would be the death of him.

They went back to her’s (logistically, according to Della, it was the only option considering she didn’t have a car and sleepovers were against the rules) and barely made it into the room before Harry had her dress bunched around her hips.

She tasted like wine and everything good in the world–it made him dizzy. He teased her and licked her until she was a whimpering mess, her hands lost in his hair and her thighs left with handprints where he had to hold her down.

He left careless marks on her neck, for anyone like the prick at the bar.

Before he slipped his cock inside of her, he whispered, “Mine.”

And when he was all the way inside: “You’re mine.”

“For now,” she breathed, caught up in the trails of a moan.

For more than that.

He’d never say it. And with a hard thrust into her, he pretended he never even thought it. He’d be smart to call it off. Only a few days of knowing her and he was in too deep. He cared too much. Wanted too freely. And if she knew, she’d leave him without a second thought. Where she stood had been made crystal clear. Harry needed to pull back, return to the same page. He could. He swore to himself that after tonight, he would.

After he came with his face tucked into her neck, they shared a plate of whatever bits Della had in her fridge, and she made them a snack of chocolate and butter on a baguette. She was so excited to share it with him that Harry couldn’t bear to tell her that his ex had introduced him to it when they first met. It didn’t matter, anyway, since it tasted so much better enjoyed tucked into the sheets with Della.

Her ponytail had loosened, spilling red around her face and over her shoulders. He reached out to wipe a crumb from her mouth and she bit his finger. He fought off the swell in his chest with both fists.

“Should we call it a night?” She asked through a yawn.

No.

“Sure, yeah. I’m pretty beat.” He cleared his throat as he got up and started pulling his clothes on.

When he tried to pull away after kissing her goodbye, she wrapped her arms around his neck. He wrapped her in his arms, squeezed, and placed a soft kiss to her neck.

He had just turned on the ignition when a text from Gemma came through.

This her????

Harry’s heart dropped into his stomach as he tapped the photo.

It was a shot of him and Della getting into his car leaving the jazz club.

Thankfully, since his body had blocked most of her from the camera’s view and it was taken at an awkward enough angle (most likely as whoever took it walked past them), all that could be seen of Della was her fire-hued hair.

The relief was short-lived. What if there were more? What if they were clear? He thought of everyone around them and tried to remember if he noticed anyone trying to take photos. Usually, he could feel it. Being in the public eye for so long had given him a sixth sense–a learned survival instinct–but he was so focused on Della he wasn’t sure he would’ve noticed.

“Fuck.” He dropped his head against the seat and ran a hand over his face. If anyone had seen them out the last few times, pictures would’ve already surfaced. They were safe on that front, but now? Now people knew where he was, and they knew there was someone.

He wouldn’t let them take this from him, let them ruin it. If it went up in flames, it would be his own doing.

He wanted to laugh at his luck. At his life. Harry was already going to feel the loss when the summer was over and that was enough to hurt. Now, he could lose it much sooner, and that wasn’t okay with him.

He put the car in drive, and started home.

#harry #harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x oc #harry styles x y/n #harry x reader #harry styles series #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #one direction

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amphitriteswife · 11 months

Text

Poseidon x !Amphitrite! Reader

💙•💙•💙•💙•💙•💙•💙•💙•💙•💙•💙•💙•💙•💙•💙•💙

(Angst no comfort) ( you are Amphitrite)

Im so terribly sorry for how bad this is

🔱🦈🔱🦈🔱🦈🔱🦈🔱🦈🔱🦈🔱🦈🔱🦈🔱🦈

Amphitrite, one of the 50 nereids and Poseidon’s wife. Everyone always thought how lucky you were to be his wife. But they were wrong. You tried. You really did even though no one saw it. Not even Poseidon.

You were the oldest nereid, so ofcourse Nereus and Doris were happy. They gave you a star shaped hair clip because it suited you’re hair color. You enjoyed your life with your sisters. You were often found playing in the waters or just looking at the beautiful sea creatures. You knew how you often got some more duties than the others because you were the oldest but you didn’t mind it. Until it came to marrying Poseidon. When you heard that Poseidon would come to the palace to pick a wife you found yourself indifferent to the information. You didn’t want to get married. You wanted to remain your peaceful life and maybe be a one of the virgin goddesses. Yet he picked you. Why? Why did he pick you? Only he knew the answer to that question. You looked at your father to maybe say something. He knew you didn’t want to marry but he didn’t say anything. Upon seeing the sight of your father not looking or even saying anything at you, you hoped maybe your mother would chime in to save you……But it never came. No one said anything as it was now confirmed that you had to marry Poseidon.

Then the wedding came. Your sisters helped you get ready. Even the goddess of love herself came to help you. Yet no one saw how unhappy you were. No one said anything. No one did anything about it. The wedding was totally not something you would’ve ever thought about. Slowly but surely the dreams you had faded away. The looks of the gods who were in distaste because Poseidon was marrying a nymph. Oh how they hated it. You were no goddess you were no were near them. You should’ve been happy, over the moon to even look at Poseidon. Yet you weren’t. Alright, maybe you were overreacting, maybe it wasn’t all that bad. Maybe he was just putting up a facade. Right? You tried to convince yourself it was true that maybe everything will be alright. That maybe this was just not as bad as you thought it would be. Oh how naïve you are. When you arrived in the palace you saw the look on the face of the palace staff. Pity. They pitied you for what he would do to you. You tried to be what everyone wanted you to be. What he wanted you to be. You always tried to help him. Help the staff. Help anyone. Yet when it came to you no one even bated an eye. You did everything you could for anyone. You went out of your way to help Poseidon with paper work. When he was asleep you did his work so that maybe he would be a little less moody. Yet it always ended with the feeling of a sting on your cheek. You couldn’t help but cry. Even when he called you pathetic you never denied what he said. You loved him. You loved your Family. Yet none of them ever did anything.

⚜️🌀⚜️🌀⚜️🌀⚜️🌀⚜️🌀⚜️🌀⚜️🌀⚜️🌀⚜️🌀⚜️🌀⚜️🌀

You were helping the palace staff with hanging the bed covers. However one of them flew away so you reassured the staff that you would get it. You grabbed the cover and covered yourself with it because it was so heavy. It felt warm. It felt cozy. It as if someone was embracing you. You kept thinking about how warm until one of the staff came to you. ‘Lady Amphitrite!’ You didn’t even turn your head as you just kept staring straight ahead. ‘Are you alright? My lady?’ She asked you as she noticed that you weren’t reacting to her. ‘……I sometimes just want to disappear….’ You told her honestly. She looked at you shocked and hurt. ‘My lady! Don’t say such things! You are very much appreciated!’ You didn’t even try to hide the fact that tears were rolling down your face. ‘I try…why does he hate me so much?…’ you started sobbing. How could a cover bring you to tears? This just proved how pathetic you were. You always had hoped that maybe someday things would be different. That you’d be happy. After all you never expected Poseidon to love you back but he didn’t have to make your like a living hell. You knew you were unloved and unlovable. But you still convinced yourself that maybe someday….just maybe the world would be kinder to you. You cried every day, for him. All for him. Perhaps you clung to false hope because you knew the real one was never there…

🫧🐠🫧🐟🫧🐠🫧🐟🫧🐠🫧🐟🫧🐠🫧🐟🫧🐠

You knew you weren’t going to make it out alive when you got married to him. Whether it would be Poseidon who got enough of you or the gods. You knew the end was near so you had nothing to be afraid about. After all there would be no one who would miss you. Poseidon never cared. So you would be doing everyone a favor right?

You were in your chamber staring outside when you heard your doors creek. You could hear the footsteps coming towards you but your eyes remained on the sight in front of you. ‘Not even going to great me? You lowlife.’ You already knew who’s voice it was and didn’t even bother to turn around. ‘Good day to you too, husband.’ You responded. ‘Tch’ was all he could say before he stood next to you. ‘Something you have to say?’ You asked him still not bothering to look at him. Poseidon noticed this and proceeded to do the same. ‘No.’ He responded looking at the fishies together with you. ‘Nice sight huh?’ You asked breaking the silence. ‘Hmmh.’ was the only thing he said as he kept looking at the fishes. It was kind of cute how most thing never even got his attention but when it came to sea life he seemed to almost have a strange spark in his eyes. You let out a little laugh as the fishies seemed to ignore his attempts at touching them. Upon hearing your laugh the fishies soon turned their attention to you ad they all started swarming around you. Poseidon simply looked at you and the fishies in amusement. The fishes began to cuddle you as they were all ignoring Poseidon’s presence. Poseidon slowly put his arms around you and began to gently pull you towards him. The fishies were now surrounding both you and Poseidon. Poseidon didn’t mind you as he was to busy looking at a group of goldfish. Perhaps he wasn’t all that cold? Poseidon soon began to spend more time with you. Much to your dismay as you had already given up on ever loving him again. He found you pretty strange as you had told him ‘Nothing can hurt you if you’re not here.’ He found himself a bit weirded out by you but as long as the fishies didn’t ignore him anymore it was fine.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.

‘Proteus.’ Poseidon called for his trusted butler. ‘Yes? Lord Poseidon? ‘Call my wife.’ Poseidon told his butler. He was feeling a little generous today and had wanted to see his beloved wife. Proteus without objection immediately began to walk towards your room and when he opened the door he was met with a unpleasant sight.

‘Lord Poseidon!’ Proteus called out to Poseidon who was in his night wear. ‘What is it?’ Poseidon asked him a bit irritated that you weren’t there with him as he had asked to. ‘My lady…she.. she has been…’ Proteus couldn’t even come out of his words as he was still in shock of what had happend. Poseidon immediately barged into your room and saw you’re lifeless body. He couldn’t even say anything as a million questions popped into his head. Who would do this to you? And why? And how? All he could do was hold you in his arms as he muttered a very shaky ‘i’m so sorry.’ He noticed the knife in your hands as he had realized that you did this to yourself wich made him feel even more powerless and guilty. He let out a sob as he realized that he failed as your husband. Instead of being by your side he was the first to abandon you. Oh how wrong he was to treat you so poorly. Even the palace staff could only watch how Poseidon was shedding tears over you. They tried to convince him to let you go but he refused to do so as he couldn’t accept that you weren’t here anymore. Until it hit him about what you had said. The words still replaying in his head. ‘Nothing can hurt you, if you’re not here…..’ he should’ve known this sooner. He should’ve known you were never alright. But he didn’t and he regrets it.

⭐️🌊⭐️🌊⭐️🌊⭐️🌊⭐️🌊⭐️🌊⭐️🌊⭐️🌊⭐️🌊

No one had noticed anything different about Poseidon. Still the ever stoic white blonde man. Except for his older brother. Poseidon was still standing in your room looking at the fishies. ‘Are you okay?…..’ Hades asked his brother with worry spread across his face. ‘…….I miss her….. I miss the sea.’ He responded still not facing his older brother as the only thing on his mind was you. ‘The sea is still there…Just without Amphitrite.’ Hades told him a bit confused by Poseidon’s statement. ‘I know but it was always different when she was here…She made it feel like home…’ Hades had already noticed the shakiness in his voice as he walked to his brother to comfort him.

🔹▫️🔹▫️🔹▫️🔹▫️🔹▫️🔹▫️🔹▫️🔹▫️🔹▫️

Thank yall for reading this. This was inspired by my mental breakdown so shoot out to that 😘

@lady-pani-dabaddie @viostar2095 @lotusmybeloved @monstertreden @posei-dont-mina @bimmiscourt

#snv poseidon #shuumatsu no valkyrie #snv amphitrite #ror amphitrite #ror poseidon #amphitrite #coems🤑#record of ragnarok #fuck poseidon all my homies hate poseidon #poseidon x reader #poseidon x amphitrite

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jesuisici33 · 17 days

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WIP Wednesday

tagged by @tizniz @daffi-990 @wikiangela @theotherbuckley @bidisasterbuckdiaz @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @wildlife4life @carlos-in-glasses @loveyouanyway @exhuastedpigeon @hippolotamus @rainbow-nerdss this wip is inspired by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels' threesome fic, Both Bermuda and Golden (Lost but Doing Just Fine), specifically chapter four so...thank them?

The thing is Eddie doesn’t know what he wants until it’s right in front of him.

Usually someone will make a stray comment or joke and it’s like Eddie is punched in the face with divine intervention. Suddenly that one comment is all he can think about for days or weeks and it’s all he can do to either take charge of that idea and make it his own or lock it up in a box and try to forget about it.

One of those comments happens one of the times he goes to hang out with Tommy.

It’s months after Tommy and Buck break up and soon after Eddie and Buck get together. Who knew that finding out your best friend is bisexual would be the turning point in finding out that you're gay and in love with said best friend? Luckily things with Tommy and Buck ended amicably with Tommy even joking he knew there was something going on between the two of them. “I just wondered if you two would’ve figured it out at some point.”

But now Eddie gets to enjoy Buck’s kisses and the fact that Tommy once enjoyed those same kisses somehow doesn’t bother him. Eddie still hangs out with Tommy and flies with him to Vegas to go see fights and works on cars in their spare times. Buck even comes to their basketball games sometimes to cheer them on. And it’s not like Buck dropped Tommy completely either, he still takes flying lessons from Tommy – just in a platonic way than a romantic one like before.

Except one day while Eddie was leaving for another trip with Tommy, Buck made a comment. And it’s a joke, Eddie knows it was. He always knows when Buck is joking. He just can’t get this joke out of his head.

“Alright, fine. You have fun with your sugar daddy while I’m left to do all the chores around here. I see how it is.”

Eddie can feel his face get hot – the same heat that graces his features whenever Buck says, “Fuck, you just can’t get enough of that cock, now can you?” when Eddie’s on his knees for Buck. And Eddie knows it’s not sexual. However he can’t help but imagine scenarios where that could happen. Tommy takes him out and as a thank you he gets on his knees for him, Buck guiding him along because he still can’t get the hang of deepthroating.

He should’ve known that Buck took notice by the way Eddie’d stammered out a goodbye that he wouldn’t let that go.

tagging @911-on-abc @eddiebabygirldiaz @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @pirrusstuff @your-catfish-friend @liminalmemories21 @carlos-tk @bonheur-cafe @loserdiaz @ladydorian05 @aroeddiediaz @kitteneddiediaz @diazsdimples @steadfastsaturnsrings @watchyourbuck @cultofsappho @spotsandsocks @saybiwithme @fortheloveofbuddie @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

#911 #my fic

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zepskies · 2 months

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And So It Goes - Part 19

Pairing: Billy Butcher x OFC (Latina!OC)

Summary: As Madelyn Stillwell’s personal assistant, Helena Flores finds herself caught between protecting her job, and more importantly her life—or helping Billy Butcher bring down the supe who killed her best friend, Becca.

Word Count: 4,200

Tags/Warnings: Angst, tension, and a plan made…

ASIG Series Masterlist

19: Collateral

The morning after Butcher, Ben, and Hughie returned to the house came yet another bomb of information Helena wasn’t prepared for.

Homelander had been created in a lab…using Ben’s DNA.

Holy fucking shit, Helena thought, as she sat down heavily on her couch. That seemed to be the anthem of her year.

Ben explained how Vogelbaum had framed it to him back in 1980—as a simple genetics experiment (the details for which, Ben may or may not have tuned out at the time). After the weight of that fell between them all, he left the room with a large bottle of bourbon Helena had hidden under the sink.

“We’re all packed up for the road,” Butcher said. He looked over at Helena and Hughie, who sat together on her couch. Frowning, she noticed how Hughie discreetly blotted at some dark-colored substance coming from his ear. Whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t earwax.

What the fuck? she wondered.

“Where’s Soldier Boy?” Butcher asked, breaking her from her thoughts.

“You mean, ever since he told us he was supposed to kill his own son?” Hughie retorted. “He locked himself in the bathroom, with a bottle of Old Granddad.”

“My alcohol, you mean,” Helena quipped.

“Homelander ain’t really his son, and he knows it,” Butcher pointed out. He seemed tired, to Helena’s eyes. She could hear it in his voice. She also thought he wasn’t giving this news the full weight it deserved. It had clearly shaken Ben, no matter how much Butcher didn’t want to hear of any kind of hang-ups to their mission.

Before she could say anything about it, Ben finally came out from down the hall. He glanced at them all before he ventured into the kitchen, grabbing a soda from the fridge.

At least it’s not my beer, Helena thought.

“All right, let’s be off then, ey?” Butcher said, hauling on his black trench coat. “We’ll swing by the office and grab some more V. Then Hughie’ll bring us to where the cunts are. And we’ll pop off Noir, then Homelander.”

Helena shot him an incredulous look.

“More V,” she said, gesturing at Hughie. “Really. Because the black sludge coming out of his ear isn’t enough of a warning sign?”

Hughie grimaced, but Butcher gave her a tight, resigned look.

“You know the score, love. We’ve got two more on the list. That means heading to the Tower,” he said. “I’d appreciate it if you stayed here.”

She crossed her arms and gave him a narrowed look. After last night, she thought he would’ve understood her by now. She didn’t want him to go through with all of this, for his own sake, but if he wouldn’t listen to her, then she would at least try to make sure he and Hughie lived through this.

Because if she let him and Hughie go without her now, knowing she could’ve done something to help…then she’d never forgive herself.

“Well, there’s no sneaky way you’re going to get V24. The R&D lab is below ground at Vought Tower, Level 0. Even when I worked there I didn’t have clearance,” Helena said. Though as an idea grew in her mind, she bit her lip, and finally sighed.

“But there’s a way we can go about this without just bulldozing through the front door…I can get you in there from the control room.”

“Not necessary,” Butcher said. His brows drew together as he looked down at her, drawing closer. She met his gaze with a stubbornness he should’ve expected.

“It is if you want to maintain any kind of element of surprise against Black Noir, let alone Homelander,” she said. Butcher’s lips pressed together, but she made it clear, even in her silence, that he wasn’t leaving without her this time.

Butcher crossed his arms and met her stance, just as bullheaded as ever.

“You’re not coming,” he said.

An hour later, Helena was breezing through radio stations, sitting shotgun in Butcher’s car, while Hughie was forced to sit in the back with Ben. They were cruising at full speed down the highway towards New York City.

“Fucking land on something already,” Ben sniped from the backseat. If he heard one more station change from girly pop to heavy metal, he was going to lose his shit.

Helena rolled her eyes and settled on something they could all agree on: John Lennon, “Give Peace a Chance.” She had to stifle a sardonic smile at the irony.

After a while, Ben started to snooze in the back, while Hughie stared out the window. Helena turned to Butcher and asked something she’d been wondering for days now.

“How’d you even get ahold of V24 to begin with?” she asked.

Butcher expelled a sigh, but he was honest, after swiping a hand over his mouth and beard. “Through Maeve. She gave me the tip on Payback, on a weapon that supposedly killed Soldier Boy, the whole thing. She wants that golden cunt dead as much as we do.”

Helena nodded slowly. “I guess that makes sense.”

She’d been seeing a lot about Maeve on the news; that supposedly she was in rehab, according to Vought. But Starlight fans were teaming up with Maeve fans on social media, demanding proof that she was actually where Vought said she was.

If what Butcher said was true, then maybe Vought had found out about what Maeve was up to. Maybe they’d decided to take her off the playing field.

Helena shook her head in contemplation. This was it. Homelander, Vought—the entire thing needed to crumble. As much as she hated the plan, she could admit that with Ben on board, there was a shot that it wouldn’t all end in even more blood and misery.

Helena woke after a doze to Butcher climbing back into the driver’s seat. They were stopped at a gas station, for which she assumed he’d filled up the tank. Something wasn’t right though, she thought, as the car started moving.

Ben groaned as he woke up from his long nap, and he noticed the same thing she had.

“Oh, there he is,” Butcher said.

“Where’s the cum guzzler?” Ben asked. Helena rolled her eyes; she could only assume he meant Hughie. It was a valid question though. She turned to Butcher with a frown.

“You were spot on about him. There I was, filling up the motor. I turn around, the little git had done a runner,” Butcher said.

Helena’s face turned incredulous, but the knowing shift in Butcher’s gaze implored her to play along. She hesitated, but then she tried to school her features into something more neutral.

“We needed him to get to Noir,” Ben said in annoyance.

“Ah, don’t you worry about that, guv. I got it all worked out,” said Butcher.

Now Helena knew there was something off here. She’d learned to tell when he was lying, but this time his gaze remained on the road. He glanced into the review mirror to watch Ben contemplating.

After a moment, the supe seemed to accept his words.

“Wake me when we get to New York,” he said, and laid across the entire backseat of the car.

Helena shot Butcher a sharper look. It said she’d want answers later; she knew there was no way Hughie would cut and run, not when they were so close.

Butcher nodded in acceptance. He knew he could fool Soldier Boy, but not Helena. He just had to figure out what he was going to do with Helena when they got to his apartment in the city, because he had no intention of bringing her to Vought Tower.

He glanced at her, but she was suspicious now. She crossed her arms and shook her head at him before she faced the road ahead.

It was a long car ride.

A few hours later, they arrived at the apartment Supe Affairs had been funding for Butcher’s team. There, they took some time to regroup. While Ben raided the fridge, Butcher pulled out a locked box from a large safe in the back room. Helena peered into it incredulously.

“Why do you guys have a giant-ass safe?” she asked. “You could fit a whole body in there. More than one, actually.”

She stepped back when Butcher closed it back up. He tossed her a knowing look.

“Having a lead-lined box comes in handy,” he said. He set down the smaller one he carried on the dining table and unlocked it. Inside were a few more green vials of V24. Helena’s brows raised.

“Huh. You really didn’t need my help,” she remarked. Butcher remained quiet, earning her gaze. “Why’d you let me come here with you then?”

“‘Cause I knew you’d raise hell for me, whatever I did,” he said. It was half-exasperated, but she detected the slightly softer edge behind his eyes. He knew why she was here, why she was insistent on helping him. She wanted him to come out of this in one piece, but not just for herself.

With that heavy thought, she watched him walk away from her to check on Ben in the kitchen. She was left with an open box with a handful of vials left.

The thought of V24 disgusted her…but she knew, if she was going back to Vought Tower, if she was taking any chance of coming face-to-face with Homelander again, she needed to protect herself.

She grabbed a vial and hid it in her jacket pocket.

While Helena took her time refreshing herself in the bathroom, she soon caught the muffled sounds of Butcher and Ben talking.

She carefully opened the door a crack, and she listened. She heard Ben talk about The Soldier Boy Story losing out Best Picture to American in Paris. It had been Vought’s best PR story for Soldier Boy’s background—a poor kid from the streets of South Philly, who discovered he had incredible powers to match his heart of gold.

To no one’s surprise, that story was utter bullshit.

Ben had grown up the son of one of the wealthiest steel moguls in Philadelphia, his father. Ben later got kicked out of boarding school…

“Because I was a fuck up,” Helena was surprised to hear him say. She ventured out of the bathroom and lingered in the hall, so she could spy the back of him while he continued with Butcher. Both of them were drinking. Whiskey, if she had to guess.

“But he made sure I knew it,” Ben said, speaking of his father.

“Use the belt, did he?” Butcher asked.

“Never laid a hand on me. He couldn’t be bothered,” Ben replied. “Said I was a disappointment. Not good enough to carry his name.”

Once again, Helena fought the sap within her that wanted to sympathize. She continued to fight against it, even when he admitted that his father hadn’t even been satisfied when Ben underwent Vought’s experiments and became Soldier Boy.

“He said I took a shortcut,” said Ben. “That a real man wouldn’t have cheated.”

Helena took in a subtle breath. She heard the heaviness in his voice. The resentment, and yet, a thread of resignation. She understood then where it all came from—the bravado. The machismo. The asshole behavior. It all stemmed from that wound inside him that craved validation from his father.

Helena could relate. Her own father was, and had always been impossible to please. She knew what it was like to be a disappointment.

In the living room, Ben swirled the liquor in his drink as he shoved down memories of a life he’d thought he left behind a long time ago.

“What about you, got any kids?” Ben asked.

“It’s complicated,” Butcher admitted.

But even when Ben admitted that he’d wanted kids, that he thought he could do it better than his father, Butcher saw through those threads. He reminded that Homelander wasn’t Ben’s son. Not really. He was raised in a lab to take Ben’s place. And more than that…

“Look mate,” Butcher said. “We had a deal.”

Ben drained the rest of his glass and stood. Suddenly this room felt stiff and oppressive.

“I’m gonna get some air,” he said.

Helena watched him head for the apartment’s balcony. She stepped into the living room and shared a look with Butcher.

“On one hand, you probably abandoned Hughie at some random gas station,” she said. “On the other hand, you’re doing your hardest to keep Ben on your side.”

Butcher shook his head instead of answering her, but she stepped into his path and laid a hand on his chest.

“I think you left Hughie because you wanted to save him from all this, like you probably want to leave me here,” she said. “You’re not the same man who started this whole kamikaze mission. The difference now is, you actually have a line you won’t cross.”

Butcher looked down on her, not knowing what she wanted him to say. Just now though, she didn’t need him to say anything.

She grasped the front of his shirt and pulled herself up to him, meeting his lips with hers. It was slow, but with the underlying passion that had always existed between them, right from the start. His hands migrated down the curve of her waist and held her close, his fingers pressing into her lower back.

When she broke from him and met his heavy eyes, hers were filled with quiet determination. Butcher couldn’t understand it. Part of him even hated it, knowing he was still dragging her down with him here.

“Why are you being so fucking stubborn?” Butcher asked.

Her head tilted as she gave a wry smile. “What do you mean?”

His grip on her waist tightened a little.

“Why’re you staying with me?” he pressed. “Hel, you know where this ends.”

“Billy, I don’t have a death wish,” she told him. She squeezed his arms back. “But I don’t just want you alive for me. Ryan needs you too.”

Butcher shook his head, but she stopped him from withdrawing.

“He don’t need me,” he said. “Fact is, both of you are better off without.”

“Yes, he does. He loves you, Billy. He’ll forgive you if you give it a chance. And like it or not, he’s your responsibility. Because you made a promise,” Helena said firmly, pressing a finger into his chest. Tears welled up in her eyes as she met his furrowed stare. “Be a fucking man. Take care of the people you care about. The people who love you.”

Her voice shook, but her conviction was fierce and steady. Butcher could only look down on her in silence, even though her words rattled him down to his boots.

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Both of their heads turned, though their eyes briefly met before Butcher gestured for her to step back while he ventured towards the door. He looked in the peephole first.

His eyes widened. Bloody hell?

He opened the door to find Queen Maeve, looking a bit ragged in an “I <3 New York” t-shirt and some pajama pants that were too big for her.

“Fuck me,” Butcher said in shock. “I thought you was dead.”

M.M. then quickly stepped into view, making Helena gasp when he pointed his gun directly under Butcher’s chin.

“You didn’t think I knew where the blind spots were, motherfucker?” he said.

“M.M.!” Helena exclaimed, half in greeting, half in warning. Her face practically begged him not to pull that trigger. The other man’s lips pursed.

“Hey, Hel,” he said, more casually than he looked. Behind him and Maeve were Hughie and Annie, Kimiko and Frenchie. The whole gang was here.

“Back up,” M.M. ordered at Butcher. He obliged him by stepping back into the room, closer to Helena, but still in front of her.

“Where’s Soldier Boy?” Annie asked. Her tone boded no further bullshit.

“You on that Temp. V shit, Butcher? Huh?” M.M. demanded. “What happens if I pull this trigger?”

“M.M., stop!” Helena tried. She stepped forward, but Butcher stopped her with a hand held against her. Hughie likewise grabbed M.M.’s shoulder and imploringly diffused him, at least for the moment.

“If Soldier Boy goes through with this, thousands will die,” Hughie said. “Help us stop him.”

“This ain’t a bloody kinder care we’re on about, son. It’s Vought-fucking-Tower,” Butcher pointed out.

“Becca worked in the Tower,” said Frenchie. Helena shot him a look for that one, as did Butcher. Helena had worked for Vought as well.

“You shut your fucking cake hole, Frenchie,” Butcher shot back.

“No,” Frenchie said. He seemed to gain some confidence in standing his ground. He dropped his backpack to the floor and planted his feet as he glared back at Butcher. “No! My cakehole will remain open! You will never command me again. I am done with your cruelty—”

Helena’s brows raised. Once again, Hughie played the part of peacekeeper as he talked Frenchie down from his (seemingly well-earned) tirade.

“We, we heard you, okay?” Hughie said. He turned to Butcher and leveled him with an honest truth. “You could’ve let me die from the V, but you saved me… In the shittiest way possible, but still. I don’t think you want to do this. I think you want me to pull you back. Like Lenny used to.”

Helena’s eyes widened. He knows about Lenny?

She looked to Butcher for his reaction…and she missed the way Maeve moved. She grabbed something out of Kimiko’s hand and tossed it out the window, despite Annie’s protests. Then she ripped M.M.’s gun apart.

“Butcher’s right. Homelander needs to die!” Maeve said. “That’s it. Whatever it takes.”

Annie shook her head in disbelief. “I really thought that deep down you were a hero.”

“Well, you were wrong,” Maeve replied. “There’s no such thing.”

“This isn’t going to happen,” Annie refuted. Her eyes glowed, displaying her power as the lights flickered.

Helena’s mouth fell open, even as Butcher subtly stepped in front of her. Was this apartment about to become a battlefield?

“Annie, I don’t want to hurt you,” Maeve said, with caution in her eyes.

“But I will,” said Ben. He finally drew back into the living room. Helena didn’t know how long it had been since he’d stepped back inside, but she could assume he’d been waiting for the right moment. That was apparently right fucking now.

He drew all eyes in the room, including M.M.’s darkened gaze.

“All right, you lot. Into the safe,” said Butcher. Helena shot him an incredulous look.

“Billy,” she tried. He wasn’t able to be so stoic looking down at her, but he was resolute in his decision.

“You too, love,” he said. His hand guided her by the small of her back. When she tried to push back, he grasped her arm with a strong, but not painful hold and shepherded her along with the rest of them into the safe. Except for Ben and Maeve, of course.

Helena met Ben’s gaze, but his unyielding mask was firmly in place. She reached out to Butcher before he closed the door. She knew what he was doing; this was his version of saving her—of keeping her out of this. But she glared at him.

“Billy, don’t do this,” she all but pleaded.

He stared back at her in silent apology. “Goodbye, Helena.”

Then he shut the door, casting them all in darkness.

She was grateful no one could see the way she wiped a tear or two from her cheeks. Butcher had shut off the power, so Annie couldn’t use her abilities to draw from the electricity. What she could do was bulldoze her way through the safe, ramming it over and over with her shoulder until the door burst open, allowing them to escape.

Annie shook off the exertion and took in deep breaths.

“Okay, they got a really big head start, but I know a way in,” she said.

“So do I,” said Helena. The women looked to one another with a tenuous truce.

“Then what?” said M.M., after he turned the power back on. “The way I see it, we’re fucked with no grease. No plan and no knockout gas.”

“Knockout gas? Is that what Maeve threw out the window?” Helena asked.

“Yeah, it’s Novichok,” Hughie explained. “A nerve agent. Literally the only thing the Russians found that can take down Soldier Boy.”

Her eyes widened. “What, it can kill him?”

“No, just put him to sleep, indefinitely,” he replied. She considered that with a frown. She couldn’t believe she was even thinking this, considering all the bullshit he’d pulled on her, but she didn’t know if putting Ben to sleep was something she wanted to see happen to him…

“Well, maybe we can reason with him, assuming he takes down Homelander,” she suggested. “Ben’s a raging asshole, but he’s not totally…”

Her words died on her tongue when she realized how M.M. was looking at her, as if he didn’t know her.

“Ben? Motherfuckin’ Ben?” he said incredulously. “So what were you doing all this time, playing fucking house with America’s oldest killer?”

“M.M., that’s not how it went down,” Hughie tried to jump in on Helena’s behalf, but she crossed her arms and stood firm.

“I was trying to help Butcher and Hughie stay alive,” she said, gesturing pointedly at the younger man. Hughie gave a sheepish look.

“Look, I’m not saying he’s a good man,” she continued, meeting M.M.’s angry gait. “But there’s humanity in Ben. I’ve seen it.”

The man had an ego a mile high and twice and wide, with anger issues and that only barely masked how repressed he was, emotionally. He’d threatened her, and even bruised her…but he hadn’t killed her.

He hadn’t wanted to. He’d walked away before he could actually break her.

It wasn’t a strong vote of confidence for his character, but it was better than Homelander, nonetheless.

“You really think you can change that rat bastard,” M.M. said, breaking her out of her thoughts as he shook his head. “Just like you think you change Butcher!”

“I’m not trying to change anyone!” she raised her voice to meet his. “But I do believe that people can choose to change. To be better.”

Because if there was no hope for that, then there was no hope for herself either.

“Call me an idiot,” she said, and she threw her hands up. “Call me a bitch and a lunatic, I don’t care! I don’t expect you to understand, but I’m going to do what I think is right.”

“Yeah, what’s right for you,” M.M. shot back.

“Maybe,” she snapped. “Maybe it is selfish, and I’m sorry. After Homelander’s dead, I’ll help you with Soldier Boy, whatever I can do. But do you really think Ben is the biggest threat right now? To everyone and anyone?”

M.M. seethed in silence, but he didn’t seem to have an answer for her. Annie, Hughie, Kimiko, and Frenchie—they all stood by Helena and M.M., in both silent contemplation and wariness.

“Okay, then what’s less selfish?” Helena asked, with gesturing hands at him. “Taking out Soldier Boy for your revenge, or ending the biggest fucking psychopath in the world? Otherwise known as Homelander. Who, if you forgot, was responsible for my best friend’s death.”

That fell between them all, heavier than a stone in a shallow pool. Part of Helena felt guilty for spinning M.M.’s cause as selfish, but she’d made her point. M.M., Butcher, Ben, and even she had a score to settle. It was just a matter of who was willing to sacrifice the most for it.

She wasn’t willing to sacrifice her life for revenge, but she would for the ones she loved.

M.M.’s anger soon lessened, by degrees.

“Okay,” said Hughie. He cut through some of the tension, as he himself let out a breath. “How do we get more Novichok?”

“…We don’t,” M.M. said. “That was the only one.”

After a moment of deliberation, Frenchie chimed in. There was a lab in New York that might just have what he needed. It just happened to be Vought’s R&D lab on Level 0.

It was a crazy plan.

“We’re going to break into Vought Tower, while you go to the lab, crawling with armed guards, and you’re gonna cook up the world’s most dangerous neurotoxin?” M.M. said. Sarcasm and disbelief dripped with every word. “With what, a little moxie and a little Mr. Wizard know-how? While we hold off Homelander and Soldier Boy?”

“Uh…oui?” said Frenchie.

Helena looked over at him with a sharp frown. “Are you fucking high?”

He gave her a smile. “Also oui.”

She sighed and covered her eyes with her hand.

“We’re so screwed,” she muttered. “But we’re also wasting time.”

“It’s good enough for me,” Hughie said, with a smile. Annie met her boyfriend with a smile of her own.

“Me too,” she said.

Kimiko agreed to this ingenious plan more readily than M.M., and even Helena. Even so, they had no other options. They were heading to Vought Tower.

AN: Phew! On to the finale! (And then the Epilogue after that.) I finally finished writing the last chapters of this series, so the next chapter will be out soon: on 2/20.

Next Time:

By the time Helena turned back to the scene before them, Ryan’s eyes were glowing red.

He shot a laser beam right at Soldier Boy, knocking him through the far wall and onto his ass. When he got up, shaking rubble from his shoulders, he clearly wasn’t happy about it.

Fortunately, Helena reached Ryan just as Ben took a few intimidating steps forward.

“Ben, stop!” she shouted. And it actually halted the supe’s steps.

Keep Reading: Part 20

The Boys Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Tag List:

@lauraaan182 @homielander @calizmor @haibara-ai-tsii @brujaporfavor @sleepyqueerenergy @adoringanakin @skyesthebomb @lunaticgurly @deans-spinster-witch @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007

@wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @roseblue373 @brianochka @branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum @waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady @leigh70 @clinicallydepresso

@xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy @kmc1989 @emily-winchester @xxlaynaxx @kaleldobrev @jad3djay @jackles010378 @kishie8 @chriszgirl92

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rrenzwrld · 10 months

Text

first date

ik i’m mad late and your birthday probably already passed but here is the birthday entry for a really awesome person @yourrfavzxri ! i hope you enjoy it! <3

PROMPT: "i asked your father." "what?" "then i asked your mother because it's the twenty-first century." "i'm sorry, you asked them what exactly?" "well i don't really know how this works so i asked them for their blessing for me to take you out for dinner. it was a yes."

You and Reiner had been dating for a few months now, nearly a year but you haven’t been on one date. Of course you knew that there was more to dating than the going out every weekend, especially when you had a busy college athlete on your hands, but a part of you did want that kind of time with him. You were just too timid to express that to him. But you weren’t the only one with those same concerns on your mind.

Because Reiner didn’t want to seem like a complete idiot for not knowing the ins and outs of a date, he asked Sasha, your dearest friend.

“You’re pathetic.” Sasha said flatly when he had told her that he hasn’t taken you on any dates yet.

“I know, it’s just… I’ve been busy. Y’know the championship is coming up so we’ve been—“

“Making sure you’re in shape to win. Whatever, I get that. It just seems like you’re putting football over my Y/n and I don’t like that.” Although Reiner was in love with the game, he could say he loved you more. But he could understand why Sasha was feeling that way when he got caught up in training enough to forget about everything and everyone else.

“Can you help me, please?” Reiner pleaded.

Sasha rolled her eyes before opening her mouth to speak.

On a bright Saturday afternoon, you were home for the weekend and it was chill day for you and your family. While you were watching Netflix upstairs in your room, you were thinking about what Reiner was doing. You knew you haven’t had a chance to properly hang out with Reiner lately due to all the practices he’s been to, so you weren’t really mad about it. You just had to admit that you missed him sometimes.

That was also the reason why you were surprised that Reiner texted you asking if you were free. Of course you were free, it was a matter if he was free enough for you so you answered his question. Within seconds he was at your door.

“Y/n! The door!” You lazily got up to go downstairs to the door and was shocked to see Reiner at the door with a bouquet of flowers. You didn’t even know how to respond, as you’ve never been in such a situation.

“Reiner, hey… what are you doing here? With flowers?” You asked as you let him in and locked the door behind him.

“I know I probably should’ve let you know beforehand but I wanted to—“

Your mom came downstairs to see what was going on and was visibly flattered by Reiner’s flowers more than you were.

“Aww, Reiner~ We weren’t expecting you today. If I knew you were coming, I would’ve cleaned up a bit.” From your perspective, the house wasn’t even dirty. It just looked like it was lived in and your mom was being extra as per usual.

“No, it’s perfectly fine Ms. L/n.” Your mom looked at you and smirked then looked at Reiner again.

“So what’s the occasion?” Your mom crossed her arms over her chest. You knew that your mom would try to talk Reiner’s head off for a bit so you went upstairs to take a shower, brush your teeth, find some cute clothes to wear, and fix up your hair into something.

When you came back downstairs, your mom looked like she was finished talking and was ready to let you go wherever Reiner wanted to take you.

“Reiner is taking you out—“

“I figured, what happened to the flowers?”

“I was nice enough to put them in a vase for you. Thank you, mom~” You thanked her before joining your hand with Reiner’s.

“You ready to go?” Reiner turned towards you and you nodded.

“Bye, momma!”

“Have a good one, Ms. L/n!” And with that the two of you got in Reiner’s truck and drove off.

“So what made you wanna take me out today?”

“Well, because I love you. But also because I know I’ve been really busy due to the championship coming up and I didn’t want you to think I didn’t have time for you anymore.” Although you did a good job of convincing yourself that your boyfriend was a busy man and you respected that, a part of you did feel a bit of neglect because along with not going out, he also got bad at texting and calling so you did feel a bit insecure.

“And I didn’t want your parents to think I’m a douche or anything, so I did..” He hesitated a bit.

“You did what?”

“I asked your parents if I could take you out since this would be the first time.” Your eyebrows were raised as no one has ever went to that length for you before.

“I asked your father first on the way to your house,”

“What?” You were confused as to how he got your father’s number but you realized that the two of them would work out together every now and then.

“And then I asked your mother because it’s the twenty-first century,” He laughed. “I’m sorry if it seemed weird to do that, I’m just new to all this so I just wanted their blessing to… y’know.” You knew Reiner was getting a bit flustered because he wasn’t finishing his sentences and his words were starting to run together.

“Well thank you,” You got a hold of his free hand and squeezed it. “For being such a gentleman.”

His ears reddened at the tips as he raised your hand up to his lips, placed a gentle kiss on your knuckles. “Anything for you.”

#aot #aot x reader #black reader #aot x black reader #reiner braun #aot reiner #reiner x reader #reiner x black reader

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ofstoriesandstardust · 2 years

Text

same mistakes pt. iii (bradley “rooster” bradshaw)

a/n: s/o to @roosterbrdshaw for inspiring a series that i’ve basically have entirely world built for for no reason other than i want to. this isn’t the last you’ll see of Rebel, her shenanigans with Coyote, or her relationship with Mav... that’s a promise. um, also i’m really nervous about this so i really hope i did her justice. i’ve seen all the comments and love both here and ao3, so even if i didn’t respond please know it warmed my heart to know everyone’s enjoyed this as much as i have

summary: in the aftermath of the mission, you realize it's time to stop running from your fears

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist

pt. i | pt. ii

folks who wanted to be tagged (yes ik it’s tradition to put this at bottom, no i don’t care): @calsjack @n3ssm0nique @alana4610 @xinsonyax @fangirl-316 @kyramaximoff

warnings: i named the team Iron Daggers because it sounded cool, this series should’ve just been titled ‘justice for Coyote’, seriously Coyote is a Good Best Friend, bullying/hazing, mentions of vomiting, Rebel struggles to communicate her feelings in a healthy way (wonder who she learned that from), insecurities, swearing, Hangman gets a little bit of a redemption arc, i guarantee this is not going to go in the way you’re expecting it to, please appreciate my usage of Chiquitita or i will cry, soft Rooster for the win,

word count: 8,007

You were cutting it too close. You knew that. Knew that Cyclone and Warlock would be in behind you in a matter of seconds but wasn’t that what you wanted? To be the last one in so no one had a chance to talk to you, ask you how your three weeks leave was before debriefing would start?

You barely slid down in the seat next to Coyote before Warlock was calling everyone to attention and you stood, trying to catch your breath. You avoided the pointed looks of Coyote, curious glances from Phoenix and Bob, a disgruntled look from your father, and a mildly concerned look from Rooster. “At ease.” Cyclone called and you all returned to your seats. “Welcome back, Iron Daggers. It’s good to see you all well and alive. I trust you had a good three weeks of leave?” There were short nods from around the room, murmurs of confirmation. You thought back on your three weeks of leave that started in the Mojave Desert and ended with you in the house in San Diego alone and sighed. “Alright, we won’t have certain mission specifics or assignment details for another week or so, so given the failings of the last mission we’re gonna begin with going over where this team could improve from the mistakes made on the last mission. From there, we’ll do training and mission patterns to help solve these errors. Captain Mitchell?” Your Dad nodded, taking that as his cue to begin.

“Good morning, Iron Daggers. It’s good to see you all back. As Admiral Simpson said, we’re gonna begin with going over our last mission this team flew together. Remember, the goal is to bring you all home alive. Let’s begin.”

You heard them before you saw them and made a split second decision to duck into the bathrooms before any of them saw you. Not unlike the Iron Daggers, the Green Vipers were a loud, rowdy bunch. Everyone shouted over each other, demanding a chance to speak, a chance tor regale the others with how they were the best. For you, someone who learned to show her talent in the sky and not with her words, you didn’t fare well among these men and women. You were grateful Coyote saw something in his wingman his fellow squadron members couldn’t but without him, you would’ve asked for re-assignment a long time ago. The Green Vipers, particularly Raven and Shadow, prided themselves on pushing out pilots who couldn’t hang. Which is exactly why you wouldn’t ever let them know you were here, albeit hiding in the bathroom, heart pounding. You were only minutes ahead of the Iron Daggers and then there it was-

“Coyote!” Came Raven’s piercing voice. “Man, how have you been?” You heard the chatter through labored breaths as Coyote talked to his old squadron, and then introduced the Iron Daggers.

“Although, we are missing Rebel.” Coyote announced as he finished listing the roster of the team. You imagined your best friend swinging his head around, scanning for you and you almost would’ve laughed had your knuckles not been holding the sink so tightly they were turning white.

“Rebel? Your old wingman Rebel? Man, I thought you finally ditched her for someone better.” Came Shadow’s voice. Shadow and Raven were twins, brother and sister, and man, were they cruel. The ringleaders of all the hazing and bullying that took place on the Green Vipers with a CO just as cruel to match.

“Never, Shadow. Anyways, Admiral Thompson, this is our instructor-”

“Captain Pete Mitchell. We’ve met.” Came the cool voice of your old CO. There he was.

“Thompson.” A beat. “Admiral Thompson here is the reason I got shipped out to Bosnia.” You weren’t sure who your Dad was talking to in particular but that suddenly made a lot of things make sense.

“This morning, Rebel was almost late to instruction and for a minute there, we thought she abandoned us to go back to the Green Vipers.” Coyote joked, forever trying to keep the peace. Never, Coyote, you thought. Never.

“Man, come on you know we don’t want her.” Shadow said, laughing.

“What do you have against Rebel?” Came Rooster’s voice and you could hear the protectiveness in his voice, the same one you heard when you were 7 and Bradley was telling your elementary bully to back off, again when you were 16 and the boy who broke your heart wouldn’t leave you alone.

“She’s insufferably annoying. She never shuts up. For a team made of the stuff legends are built off of, I’m surprised y’all haven’t gotten rid of her yet.” Came Ghost’s voice and you almost swore. You’d been an official squadron for less than 24 hours and you were already having your reputation torn to goddamn shreds.

“She’s our teammate and a damn good pilot.” Came Phoenix’s measured voice, but there was an edge to it, one you’d learned to recognize from the young pilot, only used when she was defending her friends.

“Well, you can have her. We don’t want her back. The team’s better off without her.” Shadow cooly responded and you felt like you were gonna throw up. Never good enough, never good enough, never good enough...

“Don’t talk about my daughter that way.” Your Dad said, a clear edge to his voice and you could almost picture his stature changing, straightening himself up to his full height, ready to put these people in their place.

“Well, that explains a few things about her flying.” Admiral Thompson stated and your vision felt blurry. You had to get out of here, couldn’t hear anymore, couldn’t sit around to wait for your team to start agreeing.

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?” You expected your Dad to retort but recognized it as Coyote’s voice. Was Coyote really about to stand up to his old CO for you?

“Do you really trust her as your wingman, Lieutenant Machado?”

“With my life.” Came Coyote’s firm reply and-

Why the fuck was Raven cackling like that?

“Why would you make that kind of mistake?” The ringing in your ears took over as you ran for the toilet, barely making it as the sounds of vomiting filled the bathroom, making hearing the conversation outside impossible. As your stomach emptied and you began to dry heave over the toilet, you felt yourself began to tremble. You understand the implication of her words, even if your team mates didn’t. You knew that your Dad’s history with Goose had made it’s rounds throughout TOPGUN and the Navy. Your vision was blurry with tears as you thought about how best to escape the bathroom without being seen. You couldn’t face the Iron Daggers, face your Dad, after all that. Eventually, the noise outside bubbled over as the crowd grew. Damn, how long had you been in here...

You took a deep breath, and ensuring you weren’t gonna be sick again, you took a step back. After washing your hands and making sure it wasn’t obvious you'd just been throwing up, you took a deep breath and peeked out behind the door. A quick glance told you the Green Vipers were spread out throughout the bar, allowing for a quick escape. You made it out to the beach, knowing you were in no state to be heading home. It was a chilly evening and you were grateful you had grabbed your NAVY sweatshirt before heading out the door today as you pulled off your shoes and made your way down to the shore. You settled just out of reach of the tide as the breeze blew your hair around. You toes sunk into the sand and you drew random patterns as you tried to brush off what had just happened. Your Dad wasn’t responsible for Goose’s death and you had yet to put Coyote in a position that would make you responsible for his. The things they said hadn’t even been as bad as stuff they’d said to you while you were present, undermining your skills as a pilot and taking consistent shots at you as a person. The Green Vipers and Admiral Thompson were made of the worst that the military had to offer and by an unfortunate stroke of luck, you’d gotten stuck there. You squeezed your eyes shut again willing yourself not to cry. You were out, you’d never have to go back to the Green Vipers.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, watching the night sky darken, but as you were mentally preparing yourself to get up and head home, someone settled next to you. You glanced over and saw that it was Rooster, holding out a beer. “Thanks.” you muttered, taking it gratefully.

“Saw you leave but you didn’t come back in. Thought you could use some company.” A beat of silence. “I met your old squadron today.” He mentioned, looking at you with the look that said I know you heard what they said. “They’re insufferably annoying.” You snorted, shaking your head. He chuckled, a smile gracing his face. “Glad to see I can make you laugh. Wasn’t sure what was going on with us since you left Mav’s place.” You shrugged, attention now back on your feet buried in the sand.

“You and Dad had some unfinished conversations you needed to have and I wanted to give you space for that.”

“You and I have some unfinished conversations we need to have.”

“We’re cool Rooster.” You said, taking a sip of your beer and avoiding eye contact with him.

“Are we? Because I keep getting the feeling that we’re not.” You sighed and turned back to look at him.

“What do you want from me here Rooster?”

“I don’t-”

“You can’t just not talk to me for years, spend years actively hating me, and then show up and think it’s gonna be fine and we can just go back to being friends. That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works.”

“I never hated you.”

“Whatever Rooster. You took all your anger with my Dad out on me and that’s not fucking fair. I didn’t do anything!”

“I know! I know, okay, but I’m in love with you. I’m fucking in love with you and I have been since you were 16. Okay-”

He- what?

“You’re in love with me?” The question had your mind reeling.

“I- I didn’t realize it until I was talking with your Dad at his hangar last week. And I guess I just- I know I didn’t handle anything the way I should’ve when Mom got sick. And especially not when Maverick pulled my papers. But I just felt so betrayed by the girl that I loved that I just-” He sighed. “I don’t know. I freaked. I’m sorry.” He said genuinely.

“Rooster, are- are you trying to fucking humilate me or something?”

“What are you talking about?” His confusion was clear but your anger was even more evident. He’d spent the last decade being angry, well, now it was your turn. You stood up, trekking back up the beach away from him.

“I can’t fucking believe you Rooster!”

“(Y/N)-”

“I would never betray you like that! You’ve known me longer than anyone besides my own father. You know I’d never do something like that. And to sit here and try and excuse and justify all of it by saying you’re in love with me? That’s some cheap cop-out.”

“(Y/N), it’s not a cop-out, it’s the truth.” You ignored him as you continued to move away from him, fully aware he was following you. “(Y/N), please, where are you going? Come back, let’s talk about this.” He called after you but you didn’t stop moving.

“Don’t, Rooster. Just- don’t.”

You slammed the locker shut, making Halo jump. “Sorry.” You muttered.

“Rough night?” She asked and you chuckled.

“Something like that.” You said, zipping up your flight suit. “I’ll see you out there.” She raised a hand as you left the locker room, right into an awaiting Coyote. “Hey Coyote.” You said and he pushed himself off the wall, following behind your fast stride in an attempt to get out of having this conversation with him. You had a lot to answer for with Coyote and you knew it.

“Why weren’t you at the Hard Deck last night?” He asked as you walked. You shrugged, not wanting him to know that you heard what the Green Vipers said, lest he agree with them and dump you to find a new wingman and leave you... wingman-less. You shook the thought from your brain as you rolled out your shoulders. And then- there was your Dad and Rooster talking, clearly engaged in an active discussion. You halted, wondering if you could lie and say you forgot something in the locker room and hide from these two. Coyote ran into you with your sudden stop and he grumbled. “Jesus woman, give a guy some warning.”

“Hey Rebel.” Came Hangman’s voice from behind you and you cringed. “You gonna fly like you want to be here today?” You turned, rolling your eyes. You briefly saw Maverick and Rooster look over to you (there went your plan of running) and watched as Payback, Fanboy, Phoenix, and Bob came up from behind Hangman.

“What’re you talking about Seresin?” You said tiredly. The last thing you wanted was to put up with Hangman’s shit right now.

“Well, it’s just that yesterday, you were flying like you'd didn’t want to be here. And well, quite frankly, there’s someone ready to replace you, so get out and make room if you’re not gonna try.” You stared at Hangman, highly debating on finally following through on smacking him when Rooster intervened.

“Man, Hangman, shut up.” Rooster called, coming to stand next to you. “No one wants to hear your garbage.” Phoenix snorted as she stood next to Hangman, giving him the side eye. “Oh, would you be quiet?” You snapped at Rooster.

“The fuck did I do?”

“You know what you did and that I’m mad at you. Go away.” You said, waving your hand at him.

“Mad at me? What-”

“Alright, that’s enough!” Your Dad said, moving in between the three of you. “We’re a team, so we’re gonna all start acting like it. Do you understand me?” Hangman and Rooster nodded, albeit with evident hesitation, but you stared at your Dad, scoffing. “You got a problem with that Rebel?” You shook your head, knowing the use of your callsign was a low-blow.

“You know what, actually, yes I do.”

“Is this all because you'd didn’t get selected for the mission?” Your Dad asked, clearly exasperated, and you laughed darkly.

“Yeah, it is.” Your Dad sighed.

“(Y/N), you and I both know that Rooster was the best choice as my wingman for that mission.”

“Why? What is it about my flying that makes me so much less than Rooster?”

“It’s not about being less than-”

“Oh, c’mon, we all know you’re trying to make up for pulling Rooster’s fucking papers.”

“Okay, you know what? I didn’t select you for the mission, because you’re a reckless pilot.”

“Oh, and you’re so much better?”

“Yeah, but when I’m reckless as a pilot, the only person I put in danger is myself. When you’re reckless, you don’t put just yourself in danger but you put your teammates in danger and for this mission, we couldn’t have that.”

“Oh, c’mon, you make me sound like Hangman! I’ve never left my wingman behind or haven't had their back, ask Coyote. Give me one good example of when my reckless flying put someone else in danger and I’ll let it all go.” He didn’t answer you, just stared at you and despite yourself, you laughed. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself for the next words you were going to throw. “Admit it. I will never be good enough.”

“(Y/N), that’s not-”

“Don’t lie to me, I see it in your eyes. How I will never live up to you, or Goose, or Ice, or now Rooster.”

“That’s enough.” Coyote said, pulling you back. Your chest rose rapidly as you looked at the heartbreak crossing your Dad’s face. Your words were meant to kill, but you weren’t done.

“I did it all for you, you know.” You said, gesturing around to your squadron, meaning your history as part of the Navy and your past at TOPGUN. “I never really wanted any of this, but I did it all in the hopes that one day you would look at me the way you do him.” Your Dad grimaced as you pushed past him. And then you stopped turning, back around. “I hope your choice was worth it because it just cost you your relationship with your kid.” And then- “Then again, you seem to already have one. Don’t need me getting in the way.”

For the second night in a row, you found yourself sitting out staring out at the ocean. For another night, you were contemplating your future with the Navy and with the Iron Daggers. You weren’t sure if you could face any of them ever again after what had happened today, but then again, you weren’t certain your relationship with your Dad would ever recover either. They were hollow words, ones you weren’t sure you even really believed, but you’ve spent so long being second to Rooster that now him being back in the picture like he hadn’t told your Dad no one would mourn him- it unsettled you. You didn’t know how to deal with any of it, how to take any of it back. You had said the words and now, you couldn’t unsay them, couldn’t change what they had done to your Dad. “Rebel.” A voice called and you turned to see Hangman holding two beers. He offered you one and you took it. “It’s a peace offering.” You raised your eyebrow and he sighed.

“Hangman, are you... are you being nice to me?”

“I saved your Dad’s life, the least I could do is try and extend some kindness to you as well.” He said and you snorted. “I’m sorry about this morning, I didn’t realize I’d produce such a reaction.” You didn’t respond, taking a sip of your beer and he continued. “I’m also sorry about being a dick to you. I didn’t realize it until this morning but you and I are more similar than I ever thought.” You snorted and he laughed lightly. “I’m serious! We both have dads we’ll probably spend the rest of our lives trying to prove our worth to.” You sighed.

“I’m sorry for saying your Dad didn’t love you.” He chuckled. “I’m serious, when I take aim like that, I mean to kill and it’s a problem.”

“Feisty lil’ firecracker, are we? Wonder where you got that from...” You outright laughed at that and he gave you a smile in return. “I kind of deserved that one though. Needed someone to call me out on my shit.” He said, taking a sip of his beer. “And you were right, about being intimidated by your skills. You’re a good pilot, Rebel, but you- you seem to be the only one who can’t see it.” He said, taking a sip of his own beer and looking at you honestly. You sighed, feeling the condensation of the bottle wet your hands.

“God, I wish Ice was here.” You muttered, putting the bottle down in the sand and pressing the palms of your hands to your eyes. You felt Hangman study you for a moment. “My Dad’s never gonna forgive me.”

“I doubt that one. Like everything else, you don’t seem to see it but you could murder Admiral Simpson and your Dad would help you bury the body.” You snorted at that, imagining that conversation. “Look, we’ve all had our fair share of moments. Lord knows Rooster has tried to kill me more than once. No one’s gonna hold it against you.”

“Dad will.”

“He won’t. Especially not if you tell him why you freaked so bad.”

“I don’t even totally know why I freaked like that.” He sighed.

“Well, you wanna try and talk about everything that’s been going on?” You nodded, already feeling the tears prick at your eyes.

“God, I can’t believe I’m about to pour my heart out Hangman of all people.” You joked, wiping at your eyes. He laughed, slinging his arm around your shoulder.

“Look at us, Hondo would be so proud.” He joked and the two of you clinked beers, laughing. A comfortable silence settled in and you took a deep breathe, wondering where to start.

“My Mom left us when I was two.” You muttered quietly. “She left not long before Rooster’s Dad died, and I don’t remember her much but there aren’t any good memories. And that kind of insecurity, the fear that one day everyone would leave, that shit started young. Because I was two and the only thing I had to do was be cute, and she just- left.” The sincerity on Hangman’s face as he listened encouraged you to keep going. Words that you’d never admitted out loud, to anyone, were surfacing. “And- I don’t know. My Dad tried so hard to be a father for Rooster that sometimes it felt like I was getting left out accidentally. My Dad tried so hard to make up for Goose not being there that somehow I got left in the dust. I think Ice saw it, a little bit. At least saw how I was feeling because he tried to get Dad to see it, but Dad being Dad, just doubled down and started dragging me to all the things he was doing with Rooster despite the fact that at 8 and 11 and 13 and 16, I still didn’t give two shits about a goddamn plane. And don’t get me wrong, now I love being here and flying, but that wasn’t always the case, and selfishly, the reason I did all of this wasn’t entirely because I wanted to.”

“Why go all the way to TOPGUN then? Genuinely asking, because the shit they put us through, this isn’t just something you do for fun.” You shrugged, tapping the rim of your beer bottle as your thought about it. Why had you joined the Navy?

“The legacy.”

“What do you mean?” Hangman asked and you sighed. Way back when, you and Rooster had talked about The Legacy. You two understood from a very young age what was expected and what was thought of you. Nobody outside the two of you would understand and so you just never made an effort to explain it.

“From what I know about Goose, he was an amazing RIO. Just the best pilot and the best man. And with Ice, I mean, yeah he was my godfather and the man who kept me steering straight when I wanted to crash the metaphorical plane, but he was also a highly decorated Admiral who's earned so much respect from every part of the military that- how does one even start to compete?” Hangman laughed.

“Yeah, I could see how carrying on Admiral Kazansky’s legacy could be a tad bit intimidating.”

“A tad?” You asked sarcastically and he laughed harder. You let out a chuckle of your own, knowing Ice was yelling at you from wherever he was that you were never expected to live up to him. “Yeah, and then there’s Dad. Depending on who you talk to, they either want to be him or beat the shit out of him. Every military official either expected me to fuck up like him or fly like him, and when you don’t pull off the feats Dad’s known for, people began to get disappointed with the product in front of them. And it’s not Dad’s fault, but I just- somewhere along the line I started to wonder if maybe I wasn’t good enough to live up to the pressure of the Ice-Goose-Maverick legacy. I started to wonder if everyone was one day going to see what my Mom must’ve all those years ago and leave, recognize that I’m worth less than what I pretend to be. And so, when I got re-assigned from the Green Vipers –– who were goddamn awful, by the way, and did not help this issue at all –– for this mission, I thought- maybe here’s my chance. Here’s my chance to prove that I’m good enough, that I can fulfill the legacy. And then Dad picked Rooster and it felt like all my worst fears and been confirmed in that moment, that I would always fail.” You sighed, trying to take a deep breath to steady yourself. “Yeah, of course now I know that Rooster was the best choice and if my Dad would’ve picked me, he may not have come home because God knows I wouldn’t have been brave enough to turn around and- I don’t know. Rooster proved to everyone a long time ago he could fulfill the legacy, but man I always- I always fall just short. Guess I just realized that I was always doomed to fail, that no matter what I did, I would never be... enough.”

“(Y/N), that’s not- that’s not true.” You whipped around to see your Dad standing on the beach, a sullen look on his face.

“Dad-”

“Hangman, will you give us a minute?” He nodded and stood up.

“Hangman, don’t you dare leave me here.” You called and he looked at you sheepishly.

“Sorry, Rebel, but I think you and your Dad got some things to talk about.” And with that, Hangman’s back was turned and was headed back up towards the Hard Deck. You silently cursed him as you turned back around, drinking your beer in hopes your Dad would just... go away. That was not what happened though, as your Dad pulled your arm to get you to stand and turned you to face him. He put his hands on your shoulders and you willed yourself not to flinch, not to take a few steps back, and to face the consequences of what you had done.

“How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough.” You sighed, softly, fiddling with a ring on your finger as you looked at him. He looked guilty and upset and disappointed. “I need you to listen to me and it’s very important that you listen to me carefully.” He said, eyes piercing through your soul. You willed yourself not to shrink back, to make yourself small. “I clearly don’t say this enough. (Y/N), I love you and I am endlessly proud of you. You could tell me tomorrow you’re taking a dishonorable discharge from the Navy and I’d still be proud of you. I know that being my kid could not have been easy. Lord knows you weren’t dealt a fair set of cards.” He takes a moment to really look at you, to make sure the words were registering in your brain. Mom leaving. The dark days after Goose died. Carole getting sick. Bradley leaving. Bosnia. Afghanistan. “And yet, you’ve always taken everything I’ve thrown at you in stride. The constant deployments, the hospital trips, moving, I- I know it couldn't have been easy. And I’m sorry.”

“Dad, you don’t have to-”

“No, clearly, I do.” The guilt at that went straight through you as your knees buckled.

“No, Dad, really-”

“I’m not done.” He said, effectively cutting you off. “You’re right that Goose was and amazing pilot. You’re also right about Ice. But neither of them, nor I, would want you to feel like you had to live up to any sort of legacy.”

“Dad-”

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way. And I’m sorry that I didn’t select you for the mission. You’re an amazing pilot, but I needed to keep you safe. I needed you to be able to come home. And even if that choice cost me you, I would make it over and over again. Because you’re still here and that’s all I could ask for.”

“Dad-”

“I have one more thing to say and then I promise you can say whatever else you need to.” You raised your hands in surrender and he sighed, letting go of you shoulders and taking a step back. “You’re right that Bradley is my kid at this point. But never would he come before you. You have and always will be my number one priority. Your safety and happiness has always been at the top of my list, even if I don’t always show it. And I’m sorry I wasn’t a better father to you growing up. I mean, with Bradley it was easy, because he wanted to fly and be like me and Goose, and it was simple. I think it was difficult because I knew Bradley had Carole at the end of the day but with you, it was just me. It was all up to me. And that’s not an excuse for not being better as a parent. I’m sorry. I love you and I’m proud of you and I’ll say it every day from here on out if I have to for you to believe. If you don’t want to have a relationship with me moving forward that’s your choice kiddo, and I’ll respect it. But it won’t change how much I love you.” You sighed, feeling like you’d royally fucked up.

“Dad, it wasn’t that you were a bad parent. Or that you failed me. It’s just- it’s got very little to do with you and everything to do with the pressure. I know Ice would strangle me if he heard half of what I said tonight, as would Rooster, but I just- it’s difficult to explain because it’s something that’s built over the years.”

“We’ve got time.”

“I know you’re proud of me. I know I’m a priority. I know why I didn’t get chosen for the mission and I know what kind of position that put you in. I know that Ice would kill me if he knew for one second that I felt like I had to live up to his legacy, but it’s just- this unspoken expectation from every officials part. They judge me before I ever get in the sky and when it’s not what they’re expecting, they aren’t afraid to tell me. And then people talk and suddenly, because you didn’t meet some pre-determined set of expectations, you’re a failure. And after a decade of Navy service, doing this same old song and dance with every squadron, it starts to wear on you. And I just- it boils over and I took it out on you and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean those awful things that I said, because I do love flying and I do love being here, having you as my instructor, I just- I’m sorry.” Your Dad sighed, pulling you into a hug as you began to cry.

“It’s okay, kiddo, it’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“Yeah, it is.” He said, chuckling. “I’m your parent, you can take whatever you need out on me. But don’t take it out on Coyote, don’t take it out on Rooster.” You sniffed, wiping away some of your tears as you pulled away.

“Yeah, Coyote and I need to have a talk. But I’m really fucking mad at Rooster.”

“I’m gonna ask you a serious question: If he can get over what I did, why can you not get over what he did? I’m genuinely asking because I feel like maybe I’m missing something here.” You sighed.

“Because he can never, never take full responsibility for what icing me out. There’s always some reason or justification or cop-out-”

“Like that he’s in love with you?” You paused, eyes narrowed.

“How do you know about that?”

“I heard about your little argument out here last night.”

“Motherfucker.” You whispered.

“(Y/N), he is. It’s not a cop-out or an excuse. It’s the truth. I know you, and I know what’re you doing here. This goes beyond what happened when I pulled his papers.” You sighed, throwing your arms up in the air.

“I can’t believe I’m being lectured right now.”

“I’m not lecturing you, I’m holding you accountable. Bradley deserves an honest conversation from you.” You sighed again, looking at your Dad. “I think you have some things of your own that you need to figure out, some questions you need to answer.”

“Like what?”

“What are you running from?”

Coyote pulled the door of the Hard Deck open, shouldering it so you could walk in. You smiled at him and looked around, only seeing Hangman, Fanboy, and Payback in the back at the pool table, not exactly playing. You walked past the bar, waving to Penny. “Hey, the two you know my rule about outside food and drink.” She said, pointing a warning finger at you.

“Told you.” You muttered as Coyote sighed and leaned up against the bar.

“Penny, she was crying, I didn’t know what else to do.” Cry you had. You’d gotten in Coyote’s car after training today, promising you’d talk to him about everything that had been going on and just... broke down. Everything came pouring out of you and Coyote hadn’t known what else to do with but try and fix it with dessert.

Penny looked at you and sighed. You weren’t sure what was going on with her and your Dad these days but you had no doubt she’d heard about the events of the last few weeks.

“Fine. Just this once.” Coyote shot her an award-winning smile as he made his way to the jukebox. You headed for the pool table as Fanboy groaned.

“Coyote, man don’t be turning that on. Can’t we listen to something from this century before Rooster and Maverick get here?” The beginning chords of ABBA’s ‘Chiquitita’ began to play. “Apparently not.” He muttered and you chuckled.

“Machado, what are you doing?” Hangman asked wearily, and you turned to see Coyote beginning to sing along to the song as he moved towards you. You groaned.

Chiquitita, tell me what’s wrong

You’re enchained by your own sorrow

In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow

“Coyote, please don’t tell me you’ve started taking pages out of Mitchell and Bradshaw’s books.” Payback joked and you cringed as Penny snickered. This couldn’t be happening.

How I hate to see you like this

There is no way you can deny it

I can see that you’re oh so sad, so quiet

Coyote was now dancing through the empty bar as you exchanged a look with Hangman. Neither of you were entirely sure what was happening.

Chiquita, tell me the truth

I’m a shoulder you can cry on

Your best friend, I’m the one you must rely on

Coyote continued to serenade as he moved towards you. When he reached a pause in the song, he whispered “I’m not stopping until you laugh.” You rolled your eyes as he moved back out to the empty bar floor.

You were always sure of yourself

Now I see you’ve broken a feather

I hope we can patch it up together

Being personally serenaded by Coyote to an old ABBA song, one you and Rooster used to sing in the kitchen as kids as your parents cooked dinner was not how you expected to spend your evening and you weren’t sure if you would laugh or start crying again.

Chiquitita, you and I know

How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they’re leavin’

You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end

You would have no time for grievin’

You hid your face in your hands as he continued to sing. He pulled your arms away from your face and out into the middle of the empty bar as he tried to get you to dance with him.

Chiquitita, you and I cry

But the sun is still in the sky and shinin’ above you

Let me hear you sing once more like you did before

Sing a new song, Chiquitita

Your face burned red as you smiled at him. You had to give it to him for really trying.

So the walls came tumbling’ down

And your love’s a blown out candle

All is gone and it seems too hard to handle

Chiquitita, tell me the truth

There is no way you can deny it

I see that you’re oh so sad, so quiet

Finally, as the outro of the song began to play, you laughed and gave in to Coyote’s wishes, dancing with him. It wasn’t graceful by any means, and the type of dancing blackmail material was made of (something you were sure Hangman would remind you of later) but it had done it’s job and you felt more carefree than you had since before the re-assignment to the Iron Daggers. As the song ended, and Dancing Queen began to play, you found yourself bent over in laughter, Coyote clutching onto you so you didn’t topple over. Penny was laughing at you from behind you and you were sure the other three would regale the team with an in-depth, detailed (possibly over-exaggerated) version of the story later but you didn’t care. You were breathless as you moved back to the pool table, Coyote accepting the pool cue from Hangman as Payback set up the game. You grabbed a stool, sitting off to the side as you finished your frozen yogurt. You could hear Payback giving Coyote a little bit of shit, but he shrugged it off. “Man, if I got my best friend to smile, cheer her up even a little, I did my job.”

“Oh yeah, how’d your conversation with Pops go last night?” Hangman asked and you snickered at his usage of his nickname for your Dad. He was trying to be nonchalant but you knew he cared more than he’d ever openly admit. You shrugged.

“It went okay. He really wants me to talk to Rooster.”

“I second that.” Coyote said, leaning over the table to take his shot. You groaned.

“What if he doesn't forgive me?”

“Than that says more about Bradshaw then it does you. C’mon, you said it yourself, that life isn’t so simple. There’s a complicated history here and if Bradshaw expects it to all go away just because admitted that he’s in love with you, then he’s got another thing coming to him.”

“Rooster finally admitted he’s in love with you? Man, you so owe me money.” Fanboy exclaimed, looking over at Payback. You rolled your eyes at them, flipping them off. Payback took out his wallet, slapping a twenty in Fanboy’s hand and you chuckled, shaking your head.

“But Bradshaw also deserves to know how you feel about him and you can’t deny how you feel about him. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but the two of you have to start somewhere and you gotta stop running from these conversations with him.” Hangman added and you raised an eyebrow at him.

“The fuck would you know about my feelings for Rooster?” He laughed.

“Rebel, people who aren’t in love with their childhood best friends don’t look at their childhood best friends the way you do Bradshaw.”

“I don’t look-”

“Yes you do.” Came the combined voices of Coyote, Hangman, Payback, Fanboy, and Penny.

“Penny!” You exclaimed and she laughed at you.

“Tell you what, sweetheart. I’ll give you an example. Your Dad looks at me the way Rooster looks at you.”

“Let me guess, I look at Rooster the way you do my Dad?” She chuckled, nodding.

“As always, you’d be right.” You groaned at her words.

“Feelings are gross!” You exclaimed and she continued to laugh.

“You are your father’s daughter.”

“Penny, if you were anyone else, I would flip you off.” She laughed again.

“I know.” A silence fell over the bar as you weighed everyone’s words while the boys played pool. Payback finally groaned, breaking the silence.

“Damn it Rebel, why couldn’t have you said it first?”

You took a deep breath, opening the backdoor to the Hard Deck, where Rooster stood. He looked over at you as you shut the door behind you. “Hey.” You whispered and he smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Whatcha you doing?”

“Just thinking.”

“Thinking bout what?”

“You.” He said with such honesty in his eyes, you almost found yourself shrinking back. No, you could do this. “Sorry, that was-”

“No, we-” A particularly loud cheer erupted from the dartboard and the two of you turned, watching Hangman and Coyote launch into each other in celebration. “You wanna go for a walk?” He nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go.” The two of you headed for the beach, and began walking along the surf, hands brushing.

“Rooster, I-”

“Rebel, we-”

“No, you go.” You both said and then laughed, looking away from each other.

“I’ve talked enough, and I fuck it up every time I do so you can start.” You sighed, feeling a pang of guilt shot through you.

“Bradley, I’m sorry.” You whispered. The use of his real name caught his attention. “I’m sorry for freaking out on you the other night, I was just- still mad I guess, and scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared, I just- why did you feel like you had to run from me?” You shrugged.

“I don’t know, we’ve gone so long without speaking to each other, I didn’t know how to be around you again. And then you’re saving my Dad’s life by sacrificing your own and then confessing that you loved me I just- I didn’t know how to handle it.”

“You know how you said I’ve known you longer than anyone besides your Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve known you long enough to know you’re full of shit.”

“I’m not-”

“What are you running from?” He asked, looking at you so honestly you almost froze. You sighed. “Why does the idea that someone loves you scare you so bad?”

“It doesn’t-”

“(Y/N).” He sighed softly. Your real name made you stop and he faced you fully, the ocean tide washing over your feet. You shrugged, crossing your arms.

“Because how I know how this ends.”

“And how does it end?”

“It ends one of two ways. We either end up like my parents, one of us storming out and never coming back or we end up like yours, when one of us doesn’t come home.”

“Why does it have to end up like that? Why can’t it end like how it did for Sarah and Ice?”

“I think they’re the exception rather than the rule.”

“(Y/N), it’s okay to be scared. After the shit you’ve been through, I think it’s more than fair to be scared and nervous. But don’t push me out because I’m in love with you.”

“Rooster-”

“I’m going to ask you a question and you have to promise me that you’ll answer it honestly.”

“Okay.” He gives you a look.”I promise!” He holds out his pinky finger and you sigh. “Are we seven?” He looks at his extended pinky seriously and then back at you. “Okay, fine.” You say, holding your pinky out, linking the two fingers together. He takes his thumb and kisses it, and you do the same, and pressed the thumbs together, something you’ve done since you were kids to ensure the pinky promise would be sealed.

“Are you in love with me?”

“Bradley-”

“You promised you'd answer honestly.” You sighed, biting your lip, the feeling of the salty ocean water washing over your feet, calming you.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was 17, you stupid boy.” You whispered, looking at the lights of the Hard Deck in the distance. “But-”

“But?” He prompted. “I want to hear what you have to say.”

“But I’m afraid that we’re doomed to always make the same mistakes. That we’ll never get it right.” He sighed and grabbed your hand, making to move back down the beach. “You know when I got here, I promised myself that we’d do things right this time and yet-”

“We keep fucking up?”

“Something like that.” He laughed softly, the feeling of him softly rubbing his thumb into your hand comforting you. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You’re not gonna lose me again. I promise. I pinky promise.” He said, and you laughed, falling into his side a bit as you walked.

“So what now?”

“Well to start, I’m gonna do something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

“Bradley, what’re you-” His hand snaked up from your waist to your neck as he kissed you softly. You let your hand fall out of his other, hand coming to rest on his neck and the back of his head. You didn’t want the kiss to end. He finally pulled away, leaving his forehead resting on yours. “Look at that, you finally got something right.” You muttered and he blew out a laugh.

“Only took me some 30-odd years, huh?” You snorted, playing with his hair on the nape of his neck.

“So what happens now?”

“Why do you keep asking that? Can’t you just enjoy the moment?”

“How long have you known me again?” He laughed as he began to press kisses down your jawline and onto your neck. You relished in the feeling as he hummed softly.

“What happens next is” kiss “I bring you flowers” kiss “and take you out” kiss “on a nice date” kiss “and bring you home” kiss “by curfew” kiss “and after a few dates” kiss “we become official” kiss “and then” kiss “we become” kiss “boyfriend” kiss “and” kiss “girlfriend” kiss “because this time” kiss “we’re getting things right”.

“Sounds like a lot of effort.” You joked and he looked up at you, the familiar mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Darling, for you, I’d do just about anything.”

The two of you slipped back in through the back doors of the Hard Deck, noticing your friends were still by the dartboard, having a grand old time. The two of you rejoined them, noticeably happier than you’d been since your re-assignment. If the team noticed Bradley’s hand on your waist or the way you leaned into his side, no one said anything. And if the two of you happened to see your team fess up a fair bit of money to Maverick, then the two of you pretended not to notice. And if Maverick happened to catch the way Bradley kissed you goodnight after dropping you off from the kitchen window, then he most certainly didn’t chuckle to himself and think about how proud Goose and Carole would be that the two of you finally got it right.

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janesociety · 1 year

Text

‘tis the damn season

regulus black x muggleborn!reader

type: angst

word count: 1.8k

summary: leaving regulus on boxing day after an explosive (literally) christmas party

warnings: drinking, hate groups (death eaters)

marauders masterlist

✩ ✩ ✩

“Come on, Y/N, you’ll have to face him at some point,” Dorcas said, stroking back your hair from your tear stained face. You sniffed, turning and finally facing her. The sun was barely peeking through the drawn curtains, a sliver of it landing right next to her.

“Sirius was right and I should’ve listened,” you said, wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt. You were quite sure what he was right about. Maybe it was him telling you to stay away from the group of Slytherins you had been hanging out with, maybe it was when he insisted you not go out with his younger brother, or, possibly, it could’ve been when he warned you against going to a Christmas party at number 12 Grimmauld Place. “I was being stupid.”

“Don’t say that,” she said, sitting up and looking down at you. “Sirius was being an asshole and you couldn’t have known what would happen.”

But you should’ve known, you told yourself. You should’ve known that Regulus’ family would’ve reacted to you the way they did. You should’ve known that a Black family Christmas party would be full of death eaters and sympathizers. But Regulus should’ve known how dangerous bringing you actually was. Regulus should’ve known that leaving you alone to get drunk was a bad idea. He should’ve been the one comforting you now, not his friend who was now having to apologize for the actions of her housemates.

There was a knock at the door and Dorcas got up to answer it. She pulled it open just enough to peak her head out before pulling it open all the way and letting Pandora in. She smiled weakly at you.

“The boys are all having breakfast,” she said, leaning against the post at the end of the bed you were laying. Dorcas resumed her position next to you. “I can have Kreacher bring you something if you’d like.”

“Do they remember anything that went on last night?” Dorcas asked. Pandora bit her lip.

“I don’t think so.”

Regulus, Evan, and Barty decided to get shitfaced along with a few of their other pure blood friends in attendance, making the night even worse for you and the other two in trying to keep them out of trouble. Regulus was fun to be around when he got drunk at parties, not when you needed him to be there for you.

The night was supposed to be great. You knew from Sirius’ warnings that you should’ve managed your expectations better, but you couldn’t help but become excited at the idea of attending a high society party with your close friends and boyfriend. You, Dorcas, and Pandora spent the whole day getting ready- doing each other’s hair and makeup, helping each other into the dress robes you all had picked out days before. You were practically giddy with excitement by the time you made your way downstairs to see Regulus as the party guests began to arrive.

“You look beautiful, mon coeur,” he had told you once you appeared in front of him. You were both too enamored with each other to notice the disapproving looks of the passing blood purist.

The dinner was only moderately uncomfortable- you spent most of your time talking to Pandora, Regulus, and Barty as they were on either side and across from you. You tried to ignore the talk around you of blood status politics.

Even after the dinner when the boys began drinking and you, Dorcas, and Pandora gathered yourselves in a secluded corner, you weren’t exactly miserable yet. It wasn’t Walburga pulled the attention of the crowd by tapping her wand to the side of a metal goblet that your stomach filled with actual dread.

“Ladies and gentlemen, dearest friends, I would like to thank you for coming on this lovely night,” her voice echoed artificially throughout the entire house. “Tonight we celebrate many things, friends and family among those, but most of all, we celebrate unity under the Dark Lord.” Dorcas’ hand instinctively grabbed your arm and you could feel Pandora tense next to you.

“We should find Regulus,” the blonde whispered, discreetly scanning the room for the nearest exit. Walburga continued to ramble on about their mission and blood purity and the Dark Lord- you get the picture.

“I kindly ask all of you to make your way out to the courtyard for a holiday firework display,” Walburga’s voice echoed. You watched Abraxas Malfoy clear his throat from beside her and she quickly shot him one of her deadly looks. “The show was provided to us by the Malfoy family,” she said through gritted, pearl-white teeth.

You, Dorcas, and Pandora began to follow crowds towards the exits, stopping in a corridor just outside the entrance to the back courtyard where people were gathering.

“This way,” Pandora whispered, you and Dorcas trusting her as she led you down a hallway. The grand, arched windows provided enough of a view of the party guests outside that you could look from afar as the light show began. You were distracted with trying to find Regulus’ unruly mop of hair to notice the fireworks until you heard Dorcas gasp. What you saw made your blood run cold.

A glowing dark mark appeared in the sky, the snake slithering out of the skull’s mouth and around the rest of it before bursting into thousands of little beads of light which quickly began to form new shapes.

“They can’t be,” Dorcas said, dumbfounded by the horrendous display in front of her. “Not this outright, not this open.” Being in Slytherin meant she was used to small displays of loyalty to Voldemort, but nothing like this. This was bold, even for the Black family.

“We have to find Regulus,” you whispered, grabbing fistfuls of your dress and walking faster down the hall.

But you hadn’t found Regulus, at least, not until after it was too late. Him, Evan, and Barty were sitting outside on the ground, drunk out of their minds, and laughing at the glowing images in the air. Images of horrible, blood supremacist acts being committed, images of Dumbledore’s head on a stick, images of their beloved school being consumed by snakes coming directly out of the mouth of a dark mark. Reasonably, you knew they didn’t know what they were laughing at. Their eyes probably couldn’t even focus on what was right in front of them, let alone the lights a hundred feet up in the air.

But here you were in tears, at his house, at his family’s party, scared for your actual life, and he was happy and drunk. He wasn’t comforting you, he wasn’t trying to help you leave for the Potters’ through the floo network, he wasn’t doing anything except looking at you with that dopey smile that made you fall for him.

To say you were angry was an understatement. You were heartbroken. You were betrayed. He promised he’d stay by your side the whole night, and then there you were- you and your two friends sneaking through a house full of people who openly wanted you dead. Dorcas and Pandora stayed in the guest room you had been sleeping in that night with you and made sure to lock the door behind them when you got there. You all had trouble falling asleep that night- the horrific images played off as a hopeful firework display still fresh in your mind. And now here you were, crying in your bed because the boy who you defended to your other friends, who you fell in love with, had let you down in such an extreme way.

“There’s a fireplace in the kitchen we can use to go to Cas’ house,” Pandora offered. “I’ve used it before. We’d have to walk past them, that's the only thing.”

You sat up fully, brushing your hair over one shoulder to get it off your neck. “Like you said, Cas, I’ll have to face him at some point.”

You marched through the house, your bag in hand, the portraits that you had done your best to ignore the day before shouting obscenities at you. You didn’t think you could get any more upset, but when you entered the kitchen and Regulus’ face lit up, you could hardly stop your cheeks and neck from burning with- well, you weren’t sure what. It could’ve been anger, shame, flattery, or even sadness. It was probably sadness, you decided.

“Good morning, mon c- hey, what’re doing?” he stood up as you brushed past him, doing your best to avoid looking into his eyes. When his eyes fell to Pandora, she simply shook her head, silently telling him to let you leave. He didn’t listen, of course, he was a Black after all.

“Y/N, wait,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder. You whipped around immediately, pushing his hand off of you. “Wha- what’s wrong?” he asked, shocked at what seemed to him as a sudden change in your mood. You could barely control your emotions as you looked at him. You felt the eyes of everyone in the room on you, making your skin crawl.

“You left me alone,” you muttered, barely loud enough for him to hear. You mentally cursed yourself at the childish sounding complaint.

“What?” he asked, a confused smile playing on his lips. Oh, the once so serious Regulus Black, now thinking everything was some kind of joke. The smile made your face burn- this time you knew from embarrassment- and you turned around again, making your way over to the fire place. “Y/N!” he said again, more sternly. “What’s going on?”

“You left me alone in a house full of people who very vocally want me dead, that’s what’s going on,” you finally exploded. “You left me to watch a firework display of people killing muggles, of people killing muggle-borns, of dark marks so you could party! I spent all night at a party all my friends told me not to go to- but I went anyway because you said it would be fun- listening to grown adults talk about wanting to wipe people like me off the face of the earth. And you weren’t there.”

Regulus stood there, frozen. His memory of the night prior was foggy, but he wouldn’t have done that, would he?

You scoffed at his silence and turned back around to the fireplace. You stepped in, taking a hand full of floo powder in your free hand.

“I’ll see you at your house, Cas,” you said, looking over Regulus’ shoulder. You looked back at him, still in front of you, still frozen. “Merry fucking Christmas, Reg.”

You threw the floo powder.

#regulus black #regulus x reader #regulus black x reader #regulus black x muggleborn!reader #marauders #marauders era #house of black #death eaters #muggle born #marauders christmas #janie writes ‧₊˚✩彡

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harlowsbby · 1 year

Text

Jealous much?

Jack wasn’t a simp or that’s at least what he wanted people to think and believe. When it came to you he dropped anything and everything and would do absolutely anything for you.

When you had brought up the idea of going to the winter wonderland they had put together in Louisville Jack was thrilled to go well until he figured out you had invited Urban, 2fo, Ace and a few of the other guys.

The thing was Jack didn’t mind that they were all coming he just wish you would’ve told him sooner that way he would’ve said no to the matching ugly sweaters. The moment you both got out of the car Urban and Ace were on Jack like white on rice.

“Oh my gosh say this is a joke right now and you have a hoodie or something in the back.” Ace laughed and nudged 2fo’s and Sunni’s shoulder grabbing their attention as well.

“Man are you kidding me?!” Urban doubled over and laughter while Jack stood there awkwardly and with a irritated expression on his face.

“What’s wrong with his sweater? I think it’s cute.” The two of you wore matching green grinch themed sweaters, across Jack’s sweater it said “Her Grinch” and across yours it said “His Grinch”

“I mean nothing is wrong with it Y/N.”

“So what’s the issue?”

“Nothing at all we absolutely love it and you should’ve told us we could’ve all been matching.” One thing about the guys they weren’t ever going to make you feel stupid or upset you over something you’ve done or did for Jack.

“Well we always have Christmas we can all match for Christmas.” You told them before walking forward with Neelam.

“Yeah we always have Christmas guys.” Jack teased and they all groaned.

The Christmas wonderland was amazing you forced Jack to take pictures of you with Santa Claus and Elves even though he didn’t really want to because the guys were teasing him the entire time you weren’t looking.

Jack was full from all of the hot chocolate and cookies he had eaten and you decided to take a little stroll.

Jack and You walked hand in hand just strolling along ahead of everyone just in your own bubble and enjoying one another’s company.

“Did you have a good time today baby?”

“Yes I had a wonderful time thank you for taking me today Jack I needed a little break from reality for a bit.” He smiled and wrapped his arm around you brining him closer to him.

“You don’t mind do anything for you baby anything you want or need just name it and I’ll get it.”

“Where are we going? We’ve been walking this trail for the longest baby.” You smirked you knew exactly why the two of you were walking this fair because in the back of the trail they had nothing but mistletoe’s hanging for couples and of course when you’re under a mistletoe you have no other option but to kiss the person you’re with.

“Look up.” You told him, the minute he looked up he looked back at you with a smile on his mouth. “Oh is this is why we walked this far.”

“You already know so pucker up and give me a kiss.” Jack took your arms and wrapped them around his neck and placed his hands on your hips.

“Gimme me some sugar baby.” “Sugar?” You cringed at his choice of words but kissed him anyways. The two of you were so into your kiss that you didn’t even notice Urban and Ace approach the two of you.

“Well damn not the two of you both about to have a porno with children present.” Ace joked, rolling your eyes you pulled away from Jack.

“You’re just mad you don’t have anybody for the holidays.” You sassed back. Ace raised his hands in defense.

“I’m not here for a fight I just wanna say we truly find your relationship with Jack so adorable I love the way you made him all soft.” Ace teased again, you raised your eyebrow at Urban and Ace. You looked up at Jack who had an annoyed face.

“I feel like the two of you are being sarcastic? Are you two jealous or something don’t be mad over the fact that Jack finally found his other half meanwhile you two are still out here sleeping with every bitch in Louisville and if you don’t mind I’m going to take my man back home and give him so much needed attention if you know what I mean.”

Urban and Ace’s jaws dropped Jack couldn’t help but to laugh.

“I guess she told y’all didn’t she. Now if you don’t mind me I’m going to get some much needed attention, see y’all tomorrow?” Jack laughed while Ace and Urban stood there in complete shock.

“I didn’t know Y/N was capable of snapping like that, remind me to never get on her bad side.” Urban nodded his head in agreement.

( for one 💗 )

tag list

@hoodharlow @moody4world @mortirolo

@heavyhitterheaux @nattinatalia @jackharloww

@jackmans-poison @jacksmoviestar

@softtcurse @babyharleezy

@lexthemess21 @lcandothisallday

@awhore4moree

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x you

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ash5monster01 · 10 months

Text

Perfect To Love Part 2

Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, angst, trust issues.

Summary: Beth Walker was used to living in the shadows. She had only one friend and anyone else who paid her mind usually bullied her for her size. So she learned to keep her mouth shut, her head down, and her heart closed because she had to accept the fact that she would be nothing more than the fat girl to people. That is until Robin decides Beth needs more in life and that might just include a boy who she never would’ve thought could see her for who she truly was.

word count: 1,995

Part 1 ←→ Part 3

Masterlist

After Saturday Beth had dealt with enough excitement to last her for a while. By the time she had made it home she fell asleep instantly, not even having a second of time to read her book like she had planned. She found herself torn for actually liking most of the kids including Steve. She hadn’t expected that and the other part of her that hated the world was angry she even liked them at all. Yet surprisingly it was nice to actually have people to spend time with, laugh with, and not for a single second feel judged or bullied by them. She wasn’t sure she remembered the last time she had ever felt like that. In the end though it was only a one time thing so she tried to not dwell on it too much.

That was until Monday afternoon and the last thing Beth expected was all the kids hanging around her car waiting for her. The minute they saw her coming their eyes lit up and they all cheered her name. “What’re you guys doing here?”

“We were wondering if you could give us all rides?” Mike asked and Beth turned to Robin who only chuckled. It was very like the kids to not give Beth a choice, Robin had known that since Steve used to sneak them in the movie theater. They always got their way.

“As long as you’re not busy” Max said and Beth realized she was never busy. She was just going to go home and read a book. She wasn’t used to having friends or making plans.

Before Beth could respond the rev of an engine pulling beside them cut them off and they all turned to see Steve in his BMW, sunglasses hung low on his nose, and an accusing hand dangling out the window.

“I’ve been waiting for you guys out front for like 20 minutes” an exasperated sigh fell from his lips and Beth realized Steve Harrington was still pretty even when he was annoyed.

“We wanted to see if Beth would give us a ride in her corvette” Dustin defended and Steve sighed as he got out of the car.

“Beth is probably busy, you should’ve asked earlier” Steve said and Beth began to shake her head.

“I’m free, as long as you guys are good taking turns. The car only has two seats” all the kids turned to Steve, looking as if they were asking for permission, and Steve sighed before turning to Beth, his eyes softening.

“Are you sure?” he asked and Beth realized he was being extremely sincere. Something she never expected from the boy.

“Positive Harrington, I’ll even let you have a turn” she told him before patting his arm and walking off. Steve didn’t expect the soft flush of his cheeks as she said this.

“That means we can?” Lucas asked and Beth chuckled before nodding.

“Yes, now figure out who’s going first” she said and instantly the kids began to bicker, Max stepping forward as she clearly won the fight. Beth gestured her to get in and all the kids moved out of the way as the engine roared to life, much louder than Steve’s.

“Can I pick a tape?” Max asked and Beth nodded as she began to thumb through the cassettes in the center console. Finally she settled on the Frontiers album by Journey and slipped it into the tape player, Separate Ways buzzing through the speakers.

Beth went around the block, a short ride but just long enough to give the kids an idea. Max sang along to the songs and Beth found herself having easy conversation with everyone. As each of the kids took a turn, and Robin despite already riding in it, she didn’t find herself nervous at all until she saw Steve approaching the door. Suddenly she worried he’d think she was too big to fit in the car, notice how her stomach stuck out when she sat unlike most girls, and that despite how hard she’d try he’d never think anything of her. Yet he was still getting in so she gave him a soft smile as he slid in the front seat, his knees tucked up from how long they were in the small car. Beth let out a soft chuckle as he struggled to fit and she pulled down the road, Ask The Lonely clicking on the radio.

“This is a beautiful car Beth” Beth glanced over to see Steve looking at her and she smiled.

“It really is, too bad it can’t land me a date” Beth joke and Steve pushed his lips together, realizing even is she was making a joke she believed it all the same.

“Don’t do that, you shouldn’t have to earn a date based of possessions” Steves voice was serious and it instantly made Beth start to shift in her seat.

“Yeah you earn dates based off of looks” Beth muttered under her breath and Steve snapped his head in her direction, shocked by her words.

“Beth you get a date based off of good personality and if you’re saying you don’t have good looks that isn’t true. I thought you were gorgeous from the moment I met you” Beth wished that those words could mean something coming from him, that they would somehow fix her self image. Yet she couldn’t because Steve didn’t realize he already met her and he definitely did not think she was pretty.

“No you didn’t” she whispered and Steve looked over, trying to read her facial expressions since he didn’t hear what she had said.

“What was that?” he asked and Beth began to shake her head.

“Nothing” she told him and Steve sighed as he looked back out the front of the car, trying to wrap his mind around the girl beside her. For a moment they sat insilence as Steve tried to analyze what she had said, Ask the Lonely still playing softly on the radio.

This love is your obsession

Your heart, your past possession

Let down your defenses

Won’t be up to the one who cares

“Beth you’re a very pretty girl, anyone who told you different sucks” Steve finally said and he did not miss the roll of her eyes as he said this. He wished he could shake some sense into her. “Was that an eye roll?”

“Look Steve, I’ve been lied to about my looks for a very long time. I don’t need to hear it again” Steve was silent as he let her words sink in, the fact she had allowed herself to believe that being bigger made her less. She was still beautiful, there was just more of her to love.

“I’m not lying Beth, I’m many things but I am not a liar. Just because I used to be an asshole doesn't change the fact you're still beautiful” Steve having rest his case turned back forward in the seat, his thoughts running a mile a minute. At first he wasn't on board with Robin's plan but now, he wanted to help her. Show her she was so much more than those assholes at Hawkins high.

"Thank you" she finally said after a beat, pulling back up beside the kids who were chatting away.

"Are you free Saturday night?" Steve found himself saying without much thought.

“What?” Beth was shocked on the spot, not expecting the gorgeous boy beside her to spit words like that out. In fact she was pretty sure no boy had ever said words like that to her.

“Look there’s this party and I don’t normally like to go but if you went with me I think it would be pretty cool” Beth’s heart was pounding so hard in her chest she was sure he could her it. She wasn’t sure if she was gonna cry or throw up.

“I- uh. Um, a party? I-“ words were firing out her mouth in record time but not forming anything understandable and suddenly a hand banged on the window, her jumping high in her seat.

“Let’s go, me and the guys have a new campaign we want to try out” Mike yelled through the window and Steve rolled his eyes.

“I’ll pick you up at 7” he told Beth and slipped out the car like he didn’t just completely short circuit the girl with only a few words. Beth quickly reminded herself she was looking for reasons to dislike the boy.

Doesn’t wait for permission

He did basically assume she said yes despite saying nothing at all. She was trying so hard to be mad about it but yet she was coming up short. He took initiative where she couldn’t and she kind of liked it because no matter how much she lied to herself, she was pretty sure she would’ve said yes the moment she got her thoughts in order. So was that really any reason to dislike Steve Harrington at all.

Doesn’t wait for permission

“Why do you look like someone killed your childhood pet?” Robin asked as she clambered into her car again.

“Why are you in my car?” Beth fired back and Robin rolled her eyes, flipping the visor down just to pout when she saw it didn’t have a mirror unlike Beth’s side.

“Not enough room in Steve’s, I was going to squish in the backseat but then Dustin got annoyed because I guess Steve yelled at them about not wearing seat belts, blah blah blah. But can you give me a ride home?” Beth snorted and shook her head before starting the car back up.

“Fine, you owe me” Beth told her pulling back onto the streets of Hawkins and Robin chuckled before digging through her bag, unable to keep still.

“So are we going to talk about why you looked all dazed and confused earlier?” Robin asked, pulling out some black nail polish and applying it to her fingers.

“Steve asked me to a party Saturday night” Robin’s eyes widened, this clearly not apart of her original plan with the boy.

“Did you say yes?” Robin finally asked, trying not to give way to the shock.

“He didn’t give me a chance to, just said he’d pick me up at seven” Beth informed her, turning down a road in the direction of Robins house.

“Are you excited?” Robin asked and Beth shrugged lightly.

“Maybe, more nervous. I dunno. I don’t do parties” Beth said trying to not give away the fact she was freaking out and normally when she wished the week would pass by quickly she was wishing it would slow down.

“Well I’ll come over and help you get ready, and if the party is lame I’ll call and give you some fake emergency so you can leave” Beth laughed and a huge smile widened across her face, realizing Robin was becoming a friend made for more than just school hours.

“Sounds good to me, but if the parties going good?” Beth asked and Robin tilted her head and leaned against the door.

“Then tell me you’ll see me later, we can make a code word. Like Steves lame” Beth chuckled and pulled into Robins driveway, shifting the car into park.

“And if he’s standing next to me?” a devious smile crossed Robins face.

“Even better” Beth laughed again and Robin dropped her nail polish into her bag and pushed open the door. “Or I’ll come to the party with you and at any point you want to leave we can ditch Steve”

“I’m good with absolutely any plan you have Rob” Beth told her as she climbed out the car and Robin smiled.

“Perfect, I’ll get any information out of Steve I can and let you know” Beth nodded and Robin shut the car door before waving and skipping up the steps into her home.

Beth wasn’t sure what to think now that she was caught in the world of the unlikely pair.

Taglist: @kindablackenedsuperhero @rinarecommends @starryeyedpoet17 @crustless-toast @loverofmarsss @alexa-33 @bethanysnow @middle-of-the-earth @princessadriana4-blog

Comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))

a/n: sorry for the long wait, I hope everyone had a happy and safe holiday. I’m very excited to finally be getting this chapter out there, hope you all enjoy <3

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writingseaslugs · 1 year

Text

Scarabia: Pocky Game

Did y’all know that Scarabia and Heartslabyul are actually the two hardest dorms for me to write for? I just don’t simp hardcore for anyone in the dorm, so it’s sometimes hard for me to write them. With that being said, I apologize if any of my works including those two dorms fall a bit flat. I hope this is still enjoyable for you guys!

Disclaimer: All characters in this series are aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please do a quick read of THIS post.

Scarabia: Pocky Game

Apparently, no matter what world you end up in, there will always be some delicious biscuit coated in chocolate that comes in a stick form. You discovered it one lovely day when shopping for some snacks at Sam’s, and the moment you noticed them, you grabbed several boxes. They were a delicious treat, but there was something else you wanted to do with them. You chuckled as you got home, putting the bag down and grabbing your phone, messaging a certain someone if they wanted to hang out and have snacks.

“Hey, henchman!” Grim said, crawling onto the counter and going through the bags of snacks and other miscellaneous groceries you two needed for the week, “Did you get my tuna?” he said before pulling out a box of pocky, “Oh, what's this?”

“They’re pocky, and you’re not allowed to eat them all. I bought plenty of boxes. You can have one, but the rest are mine.” You said, knowing that Grim would certainly steal more than one box. He opened it up and took a bite, humming at the taste before going to scarf the entire box down. You just sighed, shaking your head in disappointment. He went to snag another box, and you didn’t have the heart to stop him.

You felt your phone buzzing and checked it, seeing you got confirmation for snacks and chill. You chuckled, grabbing two boxes and stashing them in your coat pocket as you started to get ready to head out, “Grim, I’m heading out. Please unload the groceries…your tuna is in one of the bags.” You said, gesturing to the small pile. Grim perked up, deciding to just tear through them until he got what he wanted.

“Whatever you say, henchman!” Grim said, not bothering to ask where you’re going.

“Aaaaaaand?” You trailed off, wanting him to give you a proper answer.

“I’ll do the groceries…” Grim said, and you hummed another ‘and?’ at him. “Aaaaaand thank you for the tuna,” he finally said. With that, you grabbed your house keys and began making your way over to Scarabia.

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim met you right at the doors of Scarabia, more than happy to see you. His bright smile was contagious as he ran over and took your hand in his own, “Hello!” Kalim said a bit louder than necessary.

“Hello Sunshine, you ready to get snacking?” You asked, showing him one of the boxes you had hidden in your pockets. Kalim perked up at seeing the snack and nodded.

“I am, I even asked Jamil to make a few other snacks for us to enjoy.” Kalim said, dragging you through the dorm over to his room. Now you felt a bit bad for Jamil, and was mentally promising to do something nice for him. After all, this was your idea and you should’ve figured that Kalim would’ve asked for Jamil to make more treats.

When you arrived in his room you could see a few finger foods on trays surrounding the small coffee table he had. He brought you over to the couch and sat down beside you, “So you said this was a snack similar to ones you had in your home world?” Kalim asked, taking the snack you offered him and looking it over

“Yup, they were popular amongst certain groups of people. There was even a country that had a day dedicated to them…well not like a national holiday but it was one of those things…it’s hard to explain.” You trailed off at the end as you tried thinking of the best way to explain that in your world, just about every day of the year was dedicated to something. You bet Kalim would’ve loved that as an excuse to celebrate every single day.

“That’s so cool!” Kalim said while opening the box and trying one of them, “They’re really simple, but yummy!”

“Yup, there’s even a game that’s dedicated to them.” You explained the game really fast and Kalim looked like a star struck puppy. He quickly put one in his mouth and offered you the other end. You chuckled and played along, putting the other end of the stick in your mouth. You nibbled on it until you felt his lips against your own. He pulled away too quickly though, making you pout.

That’s when you noticed another stick in his mouth, “We playing again?” You asked and heard Kalim hum. You chuckled and played again, loving how soft his lips were whenever they were against your own. Pocky after pocky, you two continued to play, until Kalim stopped and suddenly became quiet.

“Something wrong, sunshine?” You asked, wondering if he now felt awkward.

“Can I just kiss you?” He asked, making your eyes widen. You felt suddenly hot and you hoped your blush wasn’t visible. You nodded and this time his lips crashed into yours in an enthusiastic liplock. His lips molding against yours as he licked at your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You opened your mouth for him, shivering as his tongue pressed against your mouth.

When his lips finally parted you wanted to drag him back in for another series of breathless kisses. “You know, you taste way sweeter than those pocky.” He laughed, playing with the edge of your sleeve. You swear this boy was trying to kill you.

Jamil Viper

You made your way through the Scarabia dorm, before hearing your phone buzz again. When you checked you could see Jamil’s name on the screen. It was a simple text that just said “kitchen” in it. You chuckled as you followed through the hallways and eventually came to the Scarabia kitchen.

Sure enough, Jamil was cooking something up; probably requested by Kalim. “Hey stranger.” You said, walking into the kitchen and checking over everything. It smelled amazing, as per usual, and you felt your mouth watering at all the spices he was using.

“Ah, you’re here…sorry, Kalim suddenly asked if I could make him a snack.” Jamil said and you raised an eyebrow.

“This looks to be more than a simple snack.” You pointed out, looking at everything he was making. Jamil hummed, taking something off the stove top and placing it on a plate to cool off so it wouldn’t get burned.

“He wanted a falafel, so I made some for us as well.” Jamil explained, “I’ll be right back, I’m going to take some to him. You can meet me in my room, alright?” he said and you nodded. He handed you a plate as well to take with you. You knew the dorm well enough from your stay there that finding his room was easy.

It was unlocked and you sat down on his bed with the plate next to you. Soon, Jamil was walking in and sighing as he closed and locked the door behind him, clearly not waiting to be bothered again. You could see some homework on his desk that was only halfway finished; probably something he was working on before having to cook.

“You’re as busy as ever, I see.” You teased as you pulled out your own box of snacks. You shook the contents as Jamil walked over and took it. He looked over the label curiously before opening the box and taking one out.

“This is a common snack in your world?” he asked before biting into one.

“Yup, there was even a game we played with them.” You said and Jamil waited for you to quickly explain.

“A kissing game?” He concluded and you nodded, “Is this why you brought them over here?”

“Perhaps…only if you wanted to play.” You said, hoping he would. You waited awkwardly for a moment before he grabbed one of the sticks and placed one end at your lips. You took the stick and waited a second more for him to take the other end. Once he did, you made quick work of nibbling on the end until you could feel his lips against your own.

You thought he’d pull away, but he lingered for a moment and placed his hand on the back of your head, keeping you in place as his lips molded against your own. You hummed in satisfaction, loving how soft and warm they were as you returned the kiss. When he began to pull away, you wouldn’t admit it, but you did have a pout on your lips.

“You know, you don’t have to make up a game to kiss me, you could’ve just asked.” he teased, a smirk placed on his face. You felt your heart beating fast at that, your face slowly getting warmer.

“W-wait I didn’t make it up! It’s an actual thing!” You whined and Jamil chuckled.

“Sure it is, now let’s enjoy these falafels before they grow too cold. You can kiss me more later.”

Are you a fan of Diasomnia like me? I bet you are if you read my content (we love the boys in this household). Want to support a visual novel that will feature Diasomnia dorm, has multiple routes and endings, as well as some spicy visual scenes? Check out @twstfournights and if you want info, check out their announcement post!

#Twisted Wonderland #Twisted Wonderland x Reader #TWST #TWST x Reader #TWST Wonderland #Twisted Wonderland Disney #TWST Disney #Kalim Al-Asim #Kalim Al-Asim x Reader #Kalim x Reader #Jamil Viper #Jamil Viper x Reader #Jamil x Reader

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highladyivy · 1 month

Text

Currently Reading the ACOTAR series on book 2 here are some thoughts as I read through the books - A thread.

ACOTAR (Finished reading)

Thoughts are in no particular order

• Feyre chose tamlin when Lucien was right there!!!! Lucien x Feyre > Tamlin x Feyre

• I think Nesta was wrong for always taking the money that feyre worked so hard for when they were humans. The comment about oh I always knew you’d be able to get more bitch the fuck. Go chop the firewood you had one job.

• I get that the spring court was cursed to not talk about said curse but you idiots could draw a fucking story board. Do an interruptive dance idk… anything non verbal… CHARADES FOR FUXKS SAKES

• The moment she realizes that almost all the staff at spring court watched her get lured out by the puca.

• Lucien hesitating to save Feyre but then feeling guilty about it.

• I think lucien was right tamlin should’ve waited three more days before shipping Feyre off she probably would’ve said I love you if he hadn’t just sprung it on it as she was being carried away.

• The glamour not working on Nesta is interesting

• The difference between tamlin and Rhysand: Rhysand going through literally daily sexual assault for 49 years to protect his people vs tamlin going and sending his own people out in Hopes that one of them gets killed so that he could bring that person over to woo them make them fall in love with him so that they would be released from the curse

• Rhysand under the mountain is just chefs kiss

• yes he did some unfathomable things like force her to make the bargain but in all honesty it was for her own good in the end.

• Rhysand was protecting her even before the bond snapped for him.

• Page 324 - Rhysand falls in love with Feyre he just doesn’t know it yet

• page 328 him being the only one that votes for her to win.

• him letting his guard down around her when he stays in her cell for a little while to get a break from everything

• when the bond snaps for Rhysand. Proves my theory that mates aren’t rare the majority of them are just born human and not fae.

ACOMAF (currently reading)

• tamline is totally giving women should be seen not heard vibes

• the fuck tampon you really gonna lie there while the women who risked her whole life LITERALLY is waisting away and vomiting her guts up from TRAUMA in the bathroom and you just gonna ignore her.

• Feyre waiting for the bond to snap with tamlin 😬

• ianthe - that’s it that’s the thought it’s not a good one

• tamlin is giving me the ick

• Ianthe wants tamlin for herself

• suspicious that she made sure she was the only priestess there - possibly a villain turn??

• there’s my boy Lucien trying to help Feyre.

• if I didn’t love Feysand so much I’d be Feyre x Lucien.

• the dress did Feyre dirty

• No red and what does Ianthe do put red there

• I mean good riddance cause I feel like if the. Red wasn’t there she would have went through with the wedding and Rhysand wouldn’t have heard her and saved her.

• hello Feyre darling — #dead

• the sentences he has her practice amazing work truly some of his best.

• feyre realizing that Morgan wanted to hang out but was waiting for and invite

• really tamlin

• I don’t think he was any bit concerned about her well being at all while at the night court he just wanted to get inside information

• he pretty much interrogated her as soon as she got back.

• This makes me think he’s up to something - and it’s not good

• Rhysand treats Feyre like a capable fae while tamlin coddles her and treats her like an object a fragile object.

On chapter 8 will continue as I go…

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80pairsofcrocs · 2 years

Text

baby scarab || 56

A/N : no requests could go into this one, but a lot of the interaction with you guys inspired it so enjoy.

masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist

A/N : THERE IS NO MORE SCHEDULE, IM SORRY also thank you all sm for the support and requests :)))

please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait

pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader

TW : medicine (pills), spidey stuff, a lot of violence, language, fighting, it gets kind of dark. let me know if i missed anything.

~~~

you woke up the next morning to your phone ringing.

you groaned out of annoyance and maneuvered yourself over jake- who you fell asleep on- to unplug your phone and answer it.

it was only 8 in the morning, and grace was calling, so of course you answer since she could need something.

“hello-“

“y/n hi! i was wondering when casper was going to be heading back” grace interrupts quickly and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“..what?” you whisper.

“it’s okay if he wants to stay but i need him back by dinner-“

“grace” you start, jake waking up beside you and listening in.

“yes?” she asks.

“casper went home last night- he’s- did you check to see if he slept in?” you question and it’s silent for a minute.

“no.. his- his stuff isn’t here..” grace says worriedly and you take in a shaky breath.

“grace i need you to stay calm, but i need you to go to the police station and file a missing persons report” you begin, getting out of bed while jake watched with wide eyes.

“after that, when there’s something- anything- i’ll try and find him. here- wait i’ll go out and try to find something too just please-“

“yeah, okay i’ll- i’ll go now” she shakily tells you.

“i’ll come to you as soon as i find anything”

“god bless you, y/n” is the last thing she says before hanging up.

jake followed you quietly as you wandered through the whole house grabbing anything that could help you.

that would include a small drawstring bag with a first aid kit and some pocket knives.

“hey, we’re coming with you” jake announces and you shake your head.

“jake.. guys i need to focus- i need to be by myself-“

“there’s no way in hell that we are letting you go by yourself-“

“it’s not the worst thing” steven begins. “let her do this, you know she can” he defends you.

“see? steven gets it” you say. “casper is missing and it’s my fault” you mentally tell khonshu to give you your suit, which he does.

“i should’ve made sure he got home” you finish with tense shoulders. “now if you don’t mind, i’m going to find him” you head right towards the window, when jake stops you.

“y/n” he addresses you by your name, so you know he’s serious. “we know we can’t stop you.. just- we have another mission so it’s not like we can be there if we wanted” he says quickly and you sigh.

“if you’re still out when we are done we’ll find you” he nods and you agree.

“i’ll be safe i promise” you tell all three of them, but mostly to marc who looked like he was going to cry.

“okay- i really need to go now, i love you guys” you open the window and jump out, the mask forming on your face when you stick to the wall and climb up to the roof.

you looked down at the sidewalk, thankful it wasn’t too busy so you could see it clearly.

letting out a breath, you jump from roof to roof, following the path casper would’ve walked to get home.

what stopped you in your tracks about halfway to his house, you saw what looked like dried blood in an alley right next to a cracked phone.

you jumped down into said alley, and rushed to the phone to grab it with your gloves hands.

there was no doubt this was casper’s, which also meant you couldn’t track him with that.

you sigh before setting it back down for the police, and then examine the blood.

your heart ached and you could almost feel vomit rising from your stomach at the sight.

just the couple splatters had to be him. there was no way his phone would be in the same place as a strangers blood.

you decide to climb back up to the roof and look for where someone could’ve taken him.

and that’s when you saw it, tire marks on the road- going in the opposite direction from the alley.

you tilt your head at it and notice that there’s what looks like oil spills near it as well.

now, it may sound weird but your heightened sense of smell might actually come in handy for once.

you jumped back down to the ground and into the empty street to crouch down and smell the oil.

you chose to do this because if you caught onto the scent, there was a chance you could follow the trail the car went.

kind of like how a dog would.

you shake off any nervousness and ignore the stares and the flash photography, and start following your gut instinct and your senses to try and find out where this car went.

you decided to call grace while you swung from light pole to light pole.

she picked up after two rings. “hey, grace i think i found something and i’m seeing where it leads” you tell her and you hear her let out a sigh of relief.

“oh thank god, i’m just about to go in and file a report”

“alright, well i gotta go i just wanted to let you know” you finish and she hums.

“stay safe out there”

“you too, grace” she hangs up after that.

you continue to follow the smell of the unique oil until you reach where the city ends and a forest begins.

that meant you had to either try and swing from tree branches which have a 70% chance of breaking, or you could walk.

you decided to walk due to obvious reasons.

there was a faint trail, where the cat had escaped to the woods. which meant you didn’t have to forcefully smell that awful oil anymore.

it was about another five minutes of walking behind trees when you saw a big building, in the middle of nowhere.

you tilt your head as the tire tracks lead right to the car parked outside.

you felt a weird and very sudden sense of rage, and sped towards the building, launching yourself up onto the roof silently.

there was a window on the roof luckily, and it was convenient that it was cloudy, otherwise they would’ve seen your silhouette on the ground for sure.

there were two men and a coffin like thing, and right next to that was casper.

he was sitting on the ground leaning against the wall, and his hands were behind his back.

you shakily sigh and your eyes widen when you see the blood dripping down his temple.

they probably pistol whipped him, but that wouldn’t explain why it was still bleeding.

“it doesn’t look like she’s coming” one of the men cuts you from your thoughts, and you listen in.

“just a little longer, we didn’t take this kid for nothing” he points to casper, who was just staring at the floor, fighting tears that gathered in his eyes.

your heart felt heavy and your stomach dropped, but you had to focus so you didn’t screw this up.

“but why didn’t we just take the girl? we don’t need him” the other guy points out, gesturing to casper at the last part.

you scoffed silently and continued to listen. “because she would’ve put up a fight, plus she’s got khonshu on her side now” he argues back and the other man just hums.

you took this as your cue to finally make your move.

you punched the window below you, making a loud noise alerting everyone down in the building as they all watched you jump down into your so called ‘fighting pose’ before standing up and staring towards the two men.

“see, i told you she’d come” one of them states and you harden your glare before shooting a web out at that guys face and yanking him towards the ground.

that’s when the other man, now the only threat conscious pulls out a gun and points it at casper, who was trying his absolute hardest to stay calm.

you stared and completely froze, letting the web in your hand go since the man attached was on the floor unconscious anyways.

“take that mask off, we all know who you are y/n harrow” he starts. “unless you’re afraid. poor thing, masking her fear” he chuckles and you shake your head, hesitating to actually take the mask off, but you do anyways.

“what do you want? whatever you want with me, leave him out of it” you point at casper, and the man chuckles again.

“we just needed to ensure you’d be here” he keeps the gun aimed at him. “you see, we’ve been watching you for quite some time” he begins to explain, and you dart your eyes from casper, the gun, and then the man every couple seconds.

“and we’ve concluded that this kid was the one thing we knew you’d come for. the moon knight would’ve beat us all to a pulp, but him? he is just a pathetic mortal. nothing special about him to keep him safe” he shrugs and you clench your jaw.

he wasn’t pathetic. you wanted to tell him that so much, but one wrong move and he could easily have a bullet in his head.

you didn’t want to take any chances.

“okay well i’m here now, so let him go” you say firmly and the man chuckles before shaking his head.

“now, it doesn’t work like that. we’ll keep both of you here until he gets what he wants”

“..he..?” you hesitate in asking.

the man chuckles again before starting to explain again.

“in that coffin right there is the body of your father” he says bluntly and in the time it takes for you to look towards it, the man literally drags casper up to his feet to hold the gun right up to his head.

you feel your eyes tear up at the sight when you look back, but stay frozen in place knowing he would shoot if you came closer.

“now go on and open it” he nods to the coffin and you shake your head.

he simply presses the gun harder against casper’s head, making a pained groan come from him.

you slowly walk backwards towards the coffin and regretfully open it.

you threw up in your mouth, but quickly swallowed it back down at what was in it.

arthur harrows nearly decayed body, a few bullet holes in his chest.

“now you listen to me very carefully, girl” the man starts again. “one drop of blood to one of his wounds will bring him back. we’ve already done the ritual, we just needed you”

“why couldn’t you do it, you freak” you spit and he raises and eyebrow.

“watch it, your little boyfriends time is running out” he taunts and you look to casper who’s shaking his head.

“to bring him back to life, he would need blood of his own, and lucky for us we have you. his blood”

“i am not-“

“just do it” he grits out and you look back at the body inside the coffin.

“here, i’ll help you out” he moves the gun from casper to you, your senses not warning you in time as he shoots at your leg, the bullet going right through your thigh.

you gasp and kneel down to the ground due to the pain as you hear casper yelling at the man in anger.

“you know what to do!” the man yells at you, so you pull yourself up to the coffin and stick one of your fingers into the bullet hole in your thigh, and you hold your hand over one of the many bullet holes in harrows chest, and you regretfully watch as it dripped into one.

your wound started to heal, and casper let out a sigh of relief, but it quickly turned to horror when there was a bright purple glow emitting from the coffin.

you stood up and took a couple steps back from it, and you watched in a morbid curiosity as the wounds on harrows body healed, and his skin turned from a sickly grey back to the more lively tan it once was.

his eyes opened and the purple glow went away as he slowly sat up and looked around the room calmly.

casper was frozen in fear and so were you, but the man holding casper was absolutely ecstatic.

“finally.. you’re back” he breaths out, but harrow pays little mind as he stares directly into your soul.

“and i knew you could” he says distractedly, standing to step out of the coffin.

“there she is.. my-“

“don’t say it” you cut him off. “i am not your daughter. i never was”

he just smiles in response and takes a step closer to you, but you stay in place.

“now, i know how you feel. i would feel confused too if i was just now meeting my only real family”

“real family? you tried to- you are a stranger! i don’t know you!” you yell at him and he just tilts his head.

“i’m your only blood, y/n”

“yeah, because you killed my mother. you killed my birth mother, and you don’t even care” you bite down on your tongue to keep yourself from shouting too much.

“i had to-“

“don’t give me that bullshit! you are sick to even think about killing someone” you shout, and harrow chuckles.

“hypocrite. you didn’t think that when you killed that man” he points out, and you could almost hear casper’s heartbeat pick up at the news.

“..he almost killed my dads” you start. “my real dads. not you. you’re supposed to be dead, the only reason you’re here is because that guy has a gun in casper’s face” you nod over to casper and the man.

“just please listen to me” harrow puts a hand out in front of him before putting it to his chest.

“i’ve waited so long to actually meet you, and with no interruptions this time” he starts. “i know this seems bad, but it’s for a greater cause”

“what are you talking about? i don’t even know why i’m here” you tell him, making it known that you really did have no idea why you were there.

“you’re here to carry on my legacy” he starts to slowly walk closer. “ammits legacy, our legacy” he now stands a foot away from you.

“i don’t want to” you shake your head.

“that’s a shame. it’s not a choice, you either help me or we will simply make you. it’s your choice there” he tells you and you take in a shaky breath.

you just close your eyes for a second before clenching your fists at your sides.

“..just don’t hurt him. don’t go near my family” you try an negotiate and harrow nods.

“that’s completely fair” he tells you, and in this moment of vulnerability, you swing your fist upwards, making harrows head fly back and you turn to run towards casper when a gunshot is heard after harrow yells the word ‘shoot’.

you shoot a web out towards the man’s chest and yank him down, and then you rush to casper who had fallen.

“oh my god- no no no- please tell me he missed” you pray to yourself, reaching behind him to rip the ropes that held his hands together away, and throw them to the floor.

“i didn’t feel anything, i’m okay” he assures you, but you check him over anyways.

and that’s when you saw it.

blood soaked through his shirt, right under his heart.

this time, you let the tears start flowing and casper looks up at you in confusion.

“are you okay? did it hit you?” he asks and you shake your head.

you press down on the bleeding wound and take a breath.

“no- i’m- i’m okay” your voice cracks at the end of your sentence.

“then what’s wrong?” he asks a bit quieter this time.

“khonshu please- give him the suit- just help him!” you yell out into the air, but before you could even see if anything happened, someone pulled you away and kicked you right in the face.

it was the man from earlier, the one who was now smiling down at you.

“not so brave now, hm?”

“don’t kill her” harrow warns and the man just nods before pulling out his gun again.

he wasn’t going to shoot you no, by the way he was holding it, it looked like he just wanted to hit you with it.

you were having none of it of course, and tripped him over before crawling on top of him to punch him in the face, drawing blood from his nose and effectively staining your suit.

after that, you push yourself back up, only to fall back down to your knees by where casper was laying, your legs being soaked in the blood that was pooling from his body.

your bottom lip shook as he kept his eyes on you, slowly blinking.

“y/n..?” he croaked out, a shaky hand coming up to reach out towards your face.

you took his hand in yours and held it to your chest as he wheezed for breath.

“i don’t feel good” he starts, and you let a tear drop into the puddle of blood beneath you.

“i know. it’s okay though, you’re okay” you try to assure yourself more than him.

he just smiles and shakes his head. “i can tell you’re lying” he chuckles almost silently and you let out a pained sob.

“khonshu can’t help you- he’s- he’s with-“ he stops you from talking when he coughs, blood coming up from his throat.

you felt sick.

this was all your fault.

casper was dying and it was because of you.

he didn’t even get to say goodbye to his family.

and it was your fault.

“hey, it’s okay. don’t cry please” he tells you and you just grip his hand tighter, ignoring the fact that the two people in the room were just watching.

“casper please-“

“i love you” he smiles and you just bite your lip before speaking.

“don’t say that. don’t- you can say it when you’re better-“ you cut yourself off with a single sob.

you see casper’s eyes fight to keep focusing on you, and you looked to his wound to see that it was still gushing blood.

blood that was all over your hands and the majority of your suit.

casper’s blood.

the blood of your first friend, your first love.

“it’s okay” he repeats and you keep shaking your head in denial.

“let me go, you need to get home where you’ll be safe” he chokes out and you blink away more tears.

“no. i cant- not without you- please” you plead, leaning down so that your foreheads now touched.

“you have to” he starts, not knowing these would be some of his last words before unconsciousness.

“please tell my family i love them”

“tell them yourself. you’re not dying” you try to convince both him and yourself.

“i am, and it’s not your fault” he says, shocking you while his eyes start to close.

“…s’ not your fault..” he whispers out before his hand falls from yours, making you lift your head up from his to move your hand to check his pulse.

it was very faint, but it was still there.

that’s when a crash was heard, the man who shot casper now had a crescent shaped blade through his chest.

he was here, and by the looks of it, it was marc specifically.

you turned around and reluctantly left casper and stared towards harrow with am unfamiliar feeling.

marc was walking in your direction, but you didn’t notice as you saw nothing but red.

harrow backed up with his hands up in surrender but you just shook your head.

he was afraid.

he was no longer powerful, since he didn’t have any special powers anymore, or an angry mob to protect him.

your mask was still down, so he could see the rage in your eyes, and the blood staining your suit along with your face as well.

marc stopped you from moving towards harrow, talking about ‘worrying about him later’, but without a second thought you shoved him away and ran towards harrow.

“wait! y/n stop!” you hear steven yelling, but you don’t stop.

you shoot a web out at harrow, attaching it to his leg before pulling him down.

“come on, y/n. when will you realize this is your destiny?” he asks you and you move to stand right next to him, who’s laying on the floor.

“this isn’t my destiny” you shake your head with a sickening smile on your face.

“and you don’t get to tell me who i am” you say before noticing the crowbar that was sitting untouched on the ground only a few feet away.

“don’t do it. it won’t make you feel better” jake warns, and you only look over to see that marc was working on getting some of his armor on casper to heal him.

you just looked away and walked to the crowbar, ignoring the shouts of protest.

in this time, harrow tried to crawl away, but stopped at the sound of the crowbar scraping against the concrete floor.

“you should’ve stayed dead” you bring the crowbar up above your head before it’s held still by marc, who had rushed over to stop you.

he moved himself in front of you, while still holding the crowbar at the same time you were trying to push it back down.

“not you. i cant let you do this” he tells you and you feel tears gather in your eyes.

“i have to. he killed my mother” your voice cracks at the end of your sentence.

“i won’t let you- it’ll only make you feel worse” marc tries to reason but you push the crowbar to the side then push marc away again, and shoot a couple webs out to stick him to the ground.

“y/n don’t!” steven yells to you but you grip the crowbar and ignore him, heading right for harrow again.

“if you do this, you’re no better than me” harrow warns, his arm still out at a weak attempt to stop you.

“i’ll always be better than you” you grit out, readjusting your stance as all three of your dads were yelling for you to stop.

your eye twitches and you raise the crowbar again before bringing it down directly onto harrows chest.

the dull thud of the metal against his ribs made steven want to throw up.

the crack of his ribs themselves didn’t even reach your ears as you brought the crowbar down again and again.

over..

and over again..

until harrow was dead once again.

blood was splattered everywhere, and it matched your ragged breathing.

blood was dripping from the crowbar, your hands, your face, everything.

it was sticky in your hair, and it was dead silent except for the sounds of steven trying to stifle sobs and marc still trying to get unstuck from the floor.

it felt like some kind of daze.

you blinked, and then you could see again.

it was like you blacked out- you look to the right to see marc struggling to get free from your webs, and you saw casper, who was staring while khonshus bandages did their work on his wound.

you dropped the crowbar in shock and looked down at the corpse below you through blurry vision.

your breathing picks up and you hear a ripping sound before seeing marc get to casper while keeping an eye on you.

“…oh my god-“ you turn to one of the empty barrels near you, and proceed to vomit into it.

you turned back to marc and casper, who were both looking to you as well.

you begin to walk towards them hesitantly, when you stop in your tracks once you take in everything around you.

casper got shot, and you just prevented your dads from trying you help you before you just murdered someone with no remorse.

you looked down at the body of arthur harrow, and you silently gasp before you eyes widen.

marc’s mask comes off, and casper looks at you with pleading eyes.

“hey, it’s okay, come here” marc waves you over gently and you shake your head, backing up.

“y/n, please” casper agrees with marc but you keep shaking your head.

“i can’t- what have i done..?” you look down at your bloodied hands and looking up at the broken glass on the ceiling as a way out.

“don’t go y/n it’s okay, just come here and we can talk about it” steven says after he calms himself down a bit.

he hadn’t been sobbing his eyes out because he was scared, no.

it was because he knew this would happen, he knew you’d end up regretting it.

jake and marc have both been in a same type of rage you are just in.

where you just black out and don’t realize what you’ve done until it was over.

the one time it happened to marc, he drank until he couldn’t remember anymore.

but you? you didn’t know what to do.

you kept darting your eyes from harrows now dead again body, your hands, and your dads next to casper.

“darling please-“

“steven- i can’t- i might hurt you”

“no you won’t, you would never” casper defends, and you shake your head.

“look what i just did! it’s- it’s my fault you got shot too!” you direct the last part at casper and he gasps.

“no it’s not-“

“it’s my fault you’re here in the first place” you say and casper cuts you off.

“no it’s not. it could never be your fault- it was out of your control” he tries to calm you down but you keep backing up.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry” you whisper, looking down before having the mask form back onto your face.

casper gets up with the help of marc, and they both start walking towards you.

you shoot a web up to the ceiling and swing yourself up through the large hole in the glass, right before marc could grab you.

“no! come back down here!” steven yells after you, but you ignore him and run off to good knows where.

~~~

“shit” marc mumbles, turning back to casper, who was clutching his side in pain from still healing.

“okay, come on you have to get home” he tells him, and he nods, letting marc lead him out.

“what about y/n? where is she going? is she going to be okay? she needs to know it’s not her fault” casper tells marc with a shaky voice, avoiding the corpse and the unconscious bodies on the floor.

“i’ll find her, don’t worry” marc tries to assure casper along with himself.

“holy shit..” casper mumbles to himself, and once him and marc get outside he staggers to the ground.

marc tried his best to let him down slowly so that he didn’t hurt himself.

jake recognized this, everything was catching up to casper all at once.

“oh my god- is my mom- is she okay? they didn’t hurt them did they?” he asks in fear and marc shakes his head.

“no. we have someone keeping an eye on them, they are fine” he assures the boy, but he starts to hyperventilate.

“i was just kidnapped and- and i almost died” he starts, taking in a large breath. “and y/n thinks it’s all her fault- she’s gone now” a few tears rush down his face while marc tries his best to comfort him.

“deep breaths, you’re safe now, khonshus healing you” marc says, and casper nods.

“i’m going to take you home now, okay?” marc asks and casper nods again.

“you promise to find her?”

“i do. we promise”

~~~

marc did take casper back home with no interruptions, and by the time they were there he was completely healed.

grace thanked him profusely while tears streamed down her face, and allison did as well.

his father however, just gave him a nod.

that really irked marc. it was like he didn’t even care. casper could have died or been seriously injured.

marc did have to go though, since casper wouldn’t stop worrying about how you could be miles away by now.

so now he’s at home. in your room.

because jake had an idea.

you see, they had no idea where you could be.

so jake thought of the glasses peter had gotten you, which have been possibly tracking you by the ring you always wore on your right middle finger.

and plus the suit peter made for you would be active since you’re now way too far away from khonshu to still have the suit he gave you, so there’s that.

jake was fronting, and he found edith 2.0 and put them on so that they were resting on the bridge of his nose.

“welcome, jake lockley, how can i assist you?” edith asks, and jake flinches at the sudden voice but quickly comes back to his senses.

“can you.. can you track y/n?” he asks edith hesitantly.

“miss lockley is currently 12 miles away, at an altitude of 28 feet” she informs him.

“she’s on a roof” marc points out and jake nods.

“edith, can you help us get there?” steven asks after he fronts.

“of course” edith replies.

~~~

it was hours later, and you were still pacing back and forth on the roof of some random apartment building.

just thinking.

thinking about how your boyfriend was now terrified of you.

thinking about your dads and how mad they are at you, they probably never want to see you again.

that’s what the tiny voice in your head was saying anyways.

they weren’t going to want you anymore, casper hates you. he’s afraid that you’re going to hurt him.

these thoughts flood your mind, making it so that you didn’t know of the presence that showed up on the roof with you.

your senses went haywire for a second before you turned around, seeing jake without the mask, with the most worried you’ve ever seen him.

you couldn’t blame him though, your hair was messed up and soaked with blood due to you pulling at it.

your cheeks were soaked in your own tears, which were still coming down.

your metal suit, the first time being worn was soaked in blood too, from the still wet stuff dripping from your hair.

jake took a gentle step towards you, to which you backed up until your back hit the brick chimney behind you.

“you stay away from me!” you point at him and he puts his hands up in surrender.

“y/n we just want to help you. it’s going to be okay-“

“no it’s not jake! i just killed somebody- i can’t- you both saw it! you all saw me kill him!” you yell at him, and he just shakes his head.

“we did but it doesn’t change how anybody feels about you” jake says calmly and you wipe your tears away.

“casper didn’t let us leave until we promised to bring you home. safe. y/n- he isn’t afraid of you, he’s afraid for you” jake starts.

“he’s scared you’re going to end up hurting yourself. or worse” you scoff at him.

“you’re just saying that to get me to come back like nothing happened”

“no, he’s saying it because it’s true. we love you y/n, so much. we won’t watch you destroy yourself over this” marc cuts in and you sigh, looking from side to side for an escape.

steven saw that, and mentally told khonshu to be ready for when you eventually tried to run.

you did so, but before you could even take a step, khonshu summoned bandages to keep you stuck to the brick chimney, keeping your arms at your sides so you couldn’t web anything.

“what- khonshu come on, let me go!” you yell into the air, then proceed to mutter curses.

jake walks closer, and in a panic you try and get out of the bandages.

“hey- will you calm down? y/n listen to me right now!” he exclaims when you don’t react, and you freeze to do so.

jake has never raised his voice at you. not like this.

“please” he starts, his tone completely changing. “let us take you home. nobody is mad at you, we promise” jake seemed to be only a couple seconds away from completely breaking down.

you happened to do so first, stopping your struggling to just stand there and let tears flow freely down your face.

“i’m sorry-“

“no. please say anything else” jake pleads, and you take in a deep breath before continuing.

“i want to go home” you whimper, the bandages loosening so that you could move freely.

you wipe your tears with the back of your metal covered hand.

“i know, come here” jake says gently, finally coming close enough to pull you into a tight embrace.

you didn’t hug him back at first, instead you just cried into his shoulder.

“let’s go home now, steven can make you dinner and we can do anything you want” jake tells you, and takes your nod as the go ahead to hook his arms under your knees to pick you up and start on the short journey home.

~~~

you stood as still as a statue while you watched steven cook dinner.

he darted his eyes to you every couple seconds even though marc and jake were keeping an eye on you from the two mirrors in the room.

you just stared at the wall and refused to take the suit off or sit down.

they were fine with it, as long as you were happy.

“darling? it’s time to eat” steven interrupts your staring contest with the wall, and gestures for you to sit down.

“would you like to take the suit off yet?” he asks gently and this time you nod, pressing the button on the ring and feeling the tight metal almost melt away.

you let out a sigh and let steven guide you to your chair to sit down.

he sits down in his seat across from you and silently waits for you to start eating.

you slowly pick up your fork and stare down at the food for a second before very slowly and hesitantly poking it around.

steven thought it was good enough considering how you could be feeling right now.

so at least touching the food was a good sign.

“..would you like to talk at all? about anything?” steven asks softly and you just sigh before looking up at him.

“i shouldn’t have let him get to me” you start, thinking about your next words. “i should’ve known he was trying to get in my head”

“you’re doing so well. you’re very strong for admitting that- and it’s not even like you did anything wrong, you couldn’t have known in the first place” steven rants, and grins when he sees the small smile forming on your face.

“there she is” marc says. “there’s our girl” he finishes, referring to the smile that was forming on your face.

“is casper okay?” you ask, and steven nods.

“khonshu was able to save him, he’s completely healed. just tired” he shrugs and you let out a breath of relief.

“i don’t know how i’ll be able to make it up to him- you said he didn’t care?”

“he only cared if you were alright” steven answers and you nod.

“he doesn’t hate me?”

“oh please, that kid is so in love with you it’s painful to watch” jake scoffs, which makes you smile fully before taking a small bite of your dinner.

your smile faded though as you chewed up your food, and you watched as steven ate too.

“..he almost got killed just because he knew me” you realize, and steven is quick to shake his head.

“no, that’s not why”

“then how come he-“

“it’s because you have an attachment to him. whoever was watching you realized that” jake says and you sigh.

“school starts like- in two days and he almost just died, and if i’m at school and he’s at home then there’s nobody protecting him-“

“y/n you need to calm down, he’ll be okay-“

“you don’t know that” you argue back, feeling sick all of a sudden.

“i wasn’t there to protect him” you say more to yourself than anyone else.

steven sighs and let’s marc front due to his mental request.

“it.. it wasn’t your fault. what’s important now is that you’re both safe” he tells you sternly and you nod.

“….can i save this for later? i don’t feel good” you ask quietly and marc nods.

“you’re eating it later then, you’re not going to bed on an empty stomach” he says and you nod.

you sit there for another minute before you start to get really annoyed by the constant metallic stench of all the blood on you.

“let’s get you washed up, yeah?” marc asks and you just silently nod again.

marc got up and helped you to the bathroom, where he gently wiped all the blood from your face and your hands.

you didn’t say a single word, you just watched him.

he had to help you into the shower as well, to which you eventually had to speak, telling him you didn’t want to be by yourself, so that how marc ended up sitting on the floor of the bathroom while you aggressively cleaned all the blood off of you.

but jake was the one who had stealthily left to go get you your comfiest clothes, which in reality were his own.

marc old plain white t shirt, and a pair of stevens old sweatpants.

and he threw in one of his own hats too, your favorite one.

both luna and pedro were waiting on your bed too, due to jakes request and surprisingly they listened.

it was only five minutes later that you were dressed and sitting on your bed next to said cats, hair still dripping with fresh, clean water, jake next to you just waiting for you to do or say anything.

you ended up just clutching jakes hat to your chest, and leaning into his shoulder while you tried your best not to break down again.

you just couldn’t stop thinking of casper, and the fact that the last time you saw him he was half dead.

you blink a couple times before closing your eyes completely, letting jake lay you both down so that you could better rest on him.

honestly, all three of them could care less about what had happened.

and that’s only because everyone turned out unharmed in the end.

granted, they needed khonshus help in healing casper, everyone was fine.

everyone but you.

well, casper of course would have some sort of ptsd or another, but he needed to be sure you were okay before worrying about himself.

he was selfless like that. he refused to even acknowledge his own feelings before yours.

you loved that about him, but you wouldn’t lie, it also is one of the things you wish you could change about him.

not in a bad way though, just as in a ‘you have feelings too, idiot’ sort of way.

so that’s what you were going to do.

you made a mental plan in your head before you fell completely asleep on jake with the cats.

tomorrow was your last day of summer, the next being your first day of senior year.

so tomorrow you were going to pick up some flowers for grace and some treats for allison, along with another little gift for casper as a sort of apology.

you wanted to make things right, you needed closure.

and once you told steven, marc, and jake, they would help you out.

they always will.

always and forever.

~~~

A/N : ugh this took way too long :/ anyways, i really hope you all enjoyed it, also my next chapter realistically will be the halloween special, coming on october 31, so watch out for that.

you are all amazing and i love you all so much, thank you for all the support througout everything. i do in fact have school, and i very much miss writing and i do it as much as i can, but it’s still slow so forgive me there.

i’ll see you all soon, and i love you <3

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seal-writes-stuff · 2 years

Text

Boyfriend

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: swearing, fighting, alcohol consumption, a brief mention of cults, Christian Hughes (derogatory)

Summary: Turns out things can escalate pretty quickly when it’s just you, your best friend’s asshole boyfriend and a party that you really, really didn’t want to attend.

A/N: Hi everyone! I’ve noticed that I keep subtly dunking on Christian in my fics, so I decided to change things up for once. Time to dunk on him full-force. Hope you enjoy!

“Look, I mean no disrespect and all that,” you sink deeper into the couch. “I just don’t trust these people. End of.”

Dani, who’s sitting right next to you, tilts her head. There’s no judgment in her eyes, just a mischievous sparkle that enables you to continue.

“What, not even Pelle?”

“Especially Pelle, Dani. Nobody’s that nice.”

“Pelle’s that nice.”

“Cult leaders are that nice!” you see the surprised look she gives you and quickly catch yourself. “Well, maybe not cult leaders… I don’t know, I’m getting vibes off of him, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Ri-i-ight. And Mark is…”

“Mark.”

“Yeah, fair enough. What about Josh, though?”

“Josh…” you rub your chin, mulling it over. “Alright, you’ve got me, Josh is okay. But why does he hang out with the rest of them, then? Something’s not right.”

“Maybe you just don’t like anybody.”

“I like you.”

Dani looks away with a smile while you pretend to be extremely interested in the carpet. She’s your best friend, you remind yourself, and she’s taken. Don’t do stupid shit.

“Why are you the one convincing me to go anyway? I thought you hated parties.”

Dani shrugs. There’s a deep sadness in her eyes, a sadness which breaks your heart.

“Well, Christian’s excited. I know you don’t like him very much, but…”

Well… That’s one way to put it. To be more specific, you hate Christian’s guts and the feeling, from what you could gather, is quite mutual. You bite your tongue to keep yourself from saying things you’ll regret later, though. For Dani’s sake, of course – not his, never his. You’d gladly keep your opinions to yourself if it meant her happiness.

Happiness, that is.

“Oh, Christian’s awesome.”

“You don’t believe that.”

“What gives?” you laugh as Dani taps your arm playfully, pretending to punch you. “Okay, seriously though: if you guys love each other, that’s all that matters. Who cares what I think, really?”

“Yeah, you’re right…” she mumbles. She then realizes what she’s just said and blushes. “Wait, I-I didn’t mean it like that. I care what you think, I just-”

“I know! I’m just joking around, relax,” you brush her shoulder with yours, smiling. “No hard feelings, I promise.”

“Oh, okay… Okay, great.”

For a brief moment, Dani looks down, pink still dusting her cheeks. That look on her face, that sweet smile on her lips make you speak before you can talk yourself out of the idea.

“Alright, you know what, I’m in. Let’s go together. If you’ll want to escape, just blink twice or something.”

“Thank you!” Dani throws her hand around you. “You’re the best, you know?”

“I’m trying,” your words are quiet as you hug her back, feeling the subtle scent of her shampoo.

This might be fun, right?

***

Well, who could’ve guessed. This party fucking sucks.

You stare at the kitchen floor, swirling what’s left of your drink in a red plastic cup. Dani’s catching up with some of her other friends while you’re stuck in the sad and inevitable “I should’ve stayed home” phase of any gathering you’ve ever attended.

You can’t blame her, though. You know she would’ve stayed by your side the whole evening if you asked her to, but you didn’t. You wouldn’t, too; she deserves to relax and enjoy herself. Can’t expect her to cater to your every need.

After some quiet contemplation you finally decide that enough is enough. You’ll check on Dani to see if she wants to leave, make up some excuse for the host and then dip. No, first you’ll need to call an Uber – you’re leaving either way, so better to take care of that in advance. Or maybe you should first-

“Y/N.”

You look up, only to be met with none other than Christian Hughes himself lingering in the doorway. The whole evening – just like any other evening, you suspect - he seemed like he desperately wanted to be somewhere else. You’ve never known if it was a result of your presence or his general attitude about life. Honestly, you couldn’t care less either way.

Right now, however, Christians’s not bored. Right now, he wears some kind of a strange blank expression you’ve never seen before.

Oh, to hell with that. He can’t expect people to walk on eggshells and guess his every mood.

“Christian,” you nod, pushing yourself away from the counter. “I’d love to chat, but-”

Before you can finish, Christian blocks the exit, standing right between you and the door. There’s some dumb defiance in his eyes, like’s about to cause trouble and is well-aware of that.

Except you’re not in the mood. You’re tired, you’re irritated and you’re a bit drunk – just enough to lose some of your inhibitions. The only thing you can offer him right now is annoyance.

“Oh, come on.”

“Why are you like this?”

You stare at Christian for a moment, wondering if he’s worth the fight he’s so desperate to start for some reason. You know in your mind that he isn’t. The hardest part is to convince yourself of that.

“Like what?”

“You know what I’m talking about. Look, whatever problem you have with me, it’s not-”

You sigh, exasperated.

“I have no problem with you. Now, could you please-”

“I’m not going anywhere until we sort this out.”

“Dude.”

“It’s because of Dani, isn’t it?”

You feel a wave of all-consuming rage rising deep in your chest. As if every ounce of your suppressed anger, years worth of it, resurfaced to escape your body and strike Christian right in his stupid head. But just a moment later, you take a deep breath, forcing yourself to be calm and collected.

After all, you need a clear head to really kick his ass.

“M-m-m...” you look away and bite your lower lip. “Speaking of Dani, what was she talking about in the living room, do you remember?”

This catches Christian off-guard. He blinks at you - you can almost hear the gears turning in his head.

“Wh… No?”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit weird? I mean, it happened, like, ten minutes ago.”

“Why does it matter? I’m not-”

“It does matter, Christian, because Dani finally got done with the shittier part of her thesis. Now she’s doing the stuff she actually loves.”

“She-”

“So she was excited and wanted to share with you. You know, because she loves you? And you were too busy being vaguely annoyed, or whatever the fuck, I don’t even know. But hey, at least your buddies must think you’re really cool, huh?”

“I… You’re fucking crazy.”

“I'm fucking cra- Okay, you know what, I'm not even entertaining that. You know I’m right, so you say this shit to feel better about yourself. Cause God forbid you’re wrong for once, right?”

It seems like you’ve hit a nerve. Christian huffs through his nose; his face flushes as you bite back a smirk. You’re past holding back, past feeling bad at all. He started it, and you sure as hell will finish it.

“You know nothing about our relationship.”

“Well, you know nothing about your girlfriend! It’s shocking, really, gets me every time. She always tries to talk things through with you, tries to include you in everything, buys you these … What are they called, these fucking cookies you like every time she goes to the grocery store. Every time! Simply because she cares. So tell me, does she always get that face on your face in response? That’s something I don’t know.”

Shit, what are you even saying? ‘Face on your face’?

“What does it have to do with-”

“Jesus Christ… Okay, third time’s the charm. You treat my best friend like shit. I don’t know why. I honestly don’t care why either. So yeah, I don’t like you, I don’t respect you and the sooner you leave her life the better.”

“Leave? Please. Like anyone would treat her better. You don’t know how much I-”

“Exactly, anyone would treat her better! I would treat her better!” you shake your drink for emphasis. “This fucking solo cup would treat her better! Do you even hear yourself?”

Christian opens his mouth for another retort, but stops before it can come out. His eyes widen in realization.

“Oh, so you would treat her better.”

“Are you really gonna dismiss everything I’ve said-”

“So that’s why.”

“I’m done talking to you.”

“Do you really think-”

“Hughes, if you don’t move out of my way right this fucking second-”

“Guys?”

Both of you fall silent. Christian turns back while you stare over his shoulder in horror.

Dani.

Christian says something in that faux-friendly voice of his while you’re frozen, unable to make a sound. You don’t know why, you don’t know how, but you’re so terrified that you can barely breathe.

How much did she hear?

“I’ve gotta go.”

Panicking, you finally manage to push past Christian and run out of the room, leaving both of them behind. You’re pretty sure you’re choking on tears by that point, Dani’s calling out to you, and all of this is so, so-

Focus. All you need to do right now is leave, now.

***

It’s been two weeks. Two longest weeks of your life, you might say.

You’re curled up on the couch, trying to watch a movie but failing miserably. None of that matters, you think. You’re alone and Dani’s with Christian. Hell, he’s probably having a field day right now: gloating, calling you stupid, crazy, jealous and a million other things you don’t even want to imagine. Guilt-tripping her for something you did. For something he did too, no less.

Son of a bitch.

The worst part, however, is that he wouldn’t even be that wrong. It was stupid to give in. It was crazy to think that it would change something, that it would help Dani somehow. At the end of the day, what did it accomplish? Losing a friend over a petty fight?

And you have to be honest with yourself: you are jealous. You were, you are and you probably will be. This must be the most awful way to finally realize that you’re in love, truly in love, yet you have to deal with it. You’d let go off this jealousy, though, you’d leave it behind in a heartbeat – if she wasn’t with someone who made her miserable every day. If…

You force yourself to stop this thought spiral. It’s all over, the damage is done and there’s nothing you can do about it anymore. It is what it is.

You start to sniffle when you’re started by the knock at your door. Must be the pizza you’ve ordered, you think. Your life’s falling apart anyways, may as well treat yourself. With a sigh, you drag yourself to the door.

“Hi, do you accept ca-”

The rest of the sentence dies on your lips. Dani’s standing at your door, sweet as ever.

Just very, very tired.

“Hey there. Um… I’ve made some cookies, so…”

“Oh,” you rub the back of your neck, trying not to cry. “Thank you. I-I appreciate it.”

Dani nods, pinching her lips. She fidgets with the hem of her hoodie for a few seconds, looking down.

“Are you… Waiting for someone? I didn’t mean to-”

“Oh, no. I mean, just the delivery guy. Come in, please.”

Just a moment later you’re on the couch again. The same couch you were on when you’ve decided to go to this godforsaken party. The irony.

You contemplate whether you should offer Dani something to drink, but decide against it. There’s no reason to dance around the issue – it’s what created this whole mess in the first place. You need to be open, you think, you need to be honest.

She deserves that much.

“God, Dani, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, don’t-”

“No, it’s not okay. I’ve made a scene, ran off and then flaked on you. That wasn’t right and… I really regret it.”

This isn’t a lie. You don’t regret what you’ve said – honestly, you’d say it all again. But everything that came with it, the way you spoke on Dani’s behalf…

Yeah. ‘Could’ve handled it better’ doesn’t even begin to describe it.

When you gather the courage to look at Dani again, you see her soft smile. She forgives you. Of course she forgives you, the way she always does. She forgave you before she even entered this room.

“No, that’s fine. Really. I’m not upset,” Dani takes your hand, squeezing it. “I was just worried about you, that’s all.”

You chuckle, shaking your head.

“You’re very kind, you know that?”

Dani moves closer to you, putting her head on your shoulder. You close your eyes, your temple pressed to the top of her head.

“How’s Christian, by the way?”

Dani tenses; you feel her calm breathing hitches. Instant regret washes over you, but she replies before you can do anything about it.

“Oh, he’s- I don’t know actually. We broke up a few days ago.”

For a split second, you freeze. Did you hear that right? Are you dreaming?

“Holy shit, I’m sorry,” despite everything that happened, your words are sincere. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I… I don’t know, really,” she shrugs, biting her lower lip. “Still processing, I guess.”

“That’s okay. Look, Dani, you-you don’t have to answer, of course, but…

“But..?”

“Can I ask why?”

Dani lowers her head with a bitter chuckle – something you’ve never seen her do before. You don’t say anything, rubbing her back in gentle motions. Does she feel the same warmth when you touch her?

You hope so.

“What was the final straw?”

“Um, yeah. Yeah, that.”

“Well, Christian kept saying things about you… Whatever, I don’t want to repeat it.”

You shake your head with a huff. “Fair enough, I guess.”

“No! No, that’s-”

“I mean, I wasn’t exactly a ray of sunshine to him either, so...” you shrug. “And what, that really was-”

“It should’ve been, but no. I… I can’t believe I’ve let him-”

“Hey, hey, Dani, look at me. He’s an adult. He wanted to talk shit, so he did. That’s on him.”

“But I-”

“And besides, we got into a fight. You did nothing wrong, I promise.”

Dani nods in response, still deep in thought. You know that no matter what you say, some part of her still blames herself for how things played out – maybe always will. You know you can’t change that. Because that’s how Dani is, that’s who she is at her core – reflective, responsible, kind.

You’d never want her to change. You just wish that you could make her life easier.

“Thing is,” she continues. “I-I’ve missed you. And I’ve never missed him the way I missed you.”

You swallow, trying to stop the tears threatening to come out. Despite your best efforts, though, your voice still cracks.

“Oh… Thanks. That’s…” you sniffle. “That’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Really?”

You don’t answer. Instead, you pull her in a hug – and Dani reciprocates. Of course she reciprocates.

Like she always does.

You don’t know what will happen next, you don’t know what the future holds. All you know is that it will be better than the past.

And for now, it’s more than enough.

#dani ardor #dani ardor x reader #dani ardor imagine #florence pugh x reader #florence pugh imagine #midsommar #seal writes

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