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stinalotte · 14 days

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So. Basingstoke Comic Con.

This is going to be a rant. I'm German, so I have a PhD in a) complaining and b) being blunt. Perfect combination for this post. It's going to be long, so buckle up.

I give explicit permission to repost, reblog, screenshot and post to other websites, comment, tag, and add to this in any way you see fit. Feel free to write your own experiences and criticism.

It's a modified version of the feedback email I sent them. Since then, they have put out a statement which directly contradicts some of the stuff other people have told us (and have evidence for) and which blames everyone from attendees to guests to staff to the weather.

First of all, despite all the mess with the actual con, I had a ton of fun. I hadn't seen some of these people in 20 years. I hadn't met some of y'all before, and I talked to so many people this weekend. I don't regret a single meeting, hug, smile, or laugh. I do wish however for the organizers to step on legos for the rest of their lives.

Frankly, they had a huge business opportunity and they blew it. They could have established themselves as THE Stargate convention in Europe. People were taking 15-hour flights to be there. We were willing to spend hundreds, in some cases thousands of pounds. With that lineup, they blew every other current convention out of the water. If they had done this right, this would have been a huge success and an absolute no-brainer for years to come. They could have been one of those cons that sell out in minutes.

Instead, they let greed and poor organization guide them. They severely underestimated the size of the Stargate fandom. They didn't bother to learn about what the fans wanted and who the guests actually were.

A few things stood out for me:

Health and safety at the venue. No a/c, running heaters (!!) in some rooms, not enough opportunities to get water, way too many people for this size hotel. We are lucky there wasn't a panic or more severe injuries. Crowd control was non existent.

An impossible, ever-changing schedule. You can't put talks back to back, or meet&greets, or photo ops. Everybody knows you will run overtime and then the whole thing collapses. Changes were not communicated. Nobody knew what was going on.

Poorly trained staff. No staff meetings beforehand. Staff had no way to communicate with each other. Seriously, give them radios! Some of them didn't now the names of the guests or in which autograph group they were.

People could not get the things they paid for. Out of all the autographs included in my pass, I only got one, and only because a friend got it for me. [Marion, you're a fucking rockstar] I don't even want to know how many people will be attempting chargebacks on their credit cards in the coming days.

And the most important thing, the one that makes everyone I talked to the angriest: The way they treated the guests was appalling. They are such generous, hard-working people, and BCC shamelessly took advantage of that. Richard Dean Anderson was signing until after 1 am. A 74-year-old man who just wants to make his fans happy.

[BCC are now saying they were told he was a „slow signer“, aka someone who actually takes their time by talking to fans when signing autographs. Oh really? Then why did you continue to sell autographs well into Sunday when it was clear that there was no way he could get through them all in a reasonable time??]

David Blue was setting up his own autograph table. Several Atlantis actors went and got more of their headshots (by taking pictures in the photo room and printing them) because they ran out. Joe Flanigan tried to bring some order to the chaos more than once. He went full John Sheppard in the photo op room and took charge. We are lucky they're such sweet souls and didn't raise hell then and there. Nobody would have blamed them.

Staff were amazing and tried to make the best with what little support they were given. Kathleen, Finn and Nick (with the Stick!) especially, and so many others whose names I sadly didn't get. They worked so hard, never lost their humor, and tried to help as much as they could.

This disaster is entirely on management. It's a failure of leadership and an example of what not to do when you're running an event.

If you want to put on a convention, you need to go to people who have experience and listen to them. You need to attend several cons before even thinking about doing one yourself. And before, during and after, you need to take care of your people. You need to take care of your staff, of your guests, of the fans. You need to adjust the size of the event to the size of the venue, or vice versa. You need to actually be interested in this event beyond the money it will earn you. You need to know when you bit off more than you can chew.

I'm not hoping for a better one next year, because all of us said we won't be back. What I do hope is that hey sincerely apologize to the guests and at least double what money was raised for charity.

#basingstoke comic con #rant #stargate #stargate atlantis

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kfedup · 1 month

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Regretsy no more

Hey, y'all. It's the lurker here.

I've been in the funkiest of funkless funks for the past few months and over the past few weeks, I've been unpacking why. Seeing how much I'm isolating because of a constellation of health-related issues and generalized depression. Have been considering trying meds. But one thing keeps coming to the surface and I finally decided it's time to deal with it.

The one thing is the only thing in my life that I regret. That thing is never having finished my bachelor's degree.

I'm twice divorced, have lost several important friendships, and moved more times than I can count to places I didn't really want to live to maintain relationships I should have never entered in the first place, but I wouldn't trade any of those things. I don't feel regret about them. Why would I? I discovered who I am and who I am not because I experienced those things. Each of them allowed me to learn how to repair what's possible and how to let go of that which is complete.

I'm very good at this marketing copywriting work but I'm bored senseless. I want to challenge myself and taking online workshops is fine but it's just more interacting through a screen and lord love a duck, my spirit needs more. Plus, I am not using my gifts of communication, empathy, mirroring, and holding space for others in the way I know I am meant to use them. For two years I've felt like I'm wasting what's left of my life.

I am so afraid I will die full of this regret.

The cost has kept me from pulling the trigger on this dream for several years. I wish I started sooner, but clearly, I wasn't miserable enough yet. I'm well and truly stuck in the muck at the bottom of the lake about it now. There's nothing left to do but swim to the surface, so here I go.

Today I applied as a transfer student to the Psychology program at Kent State University to start classes this summer. It will probably take me 3 years to finish the 2 years I have left because I'm a single-income household and will have to work. I'm terrified I won't be able to manage both, but I hope I can rally.

I'm not sure if I'll continue on to get the Psych MA at KSU or go elsewhere to get an MA in Art Therapy after I finish the BA. I also want to get certified in Internal Family Systems therapy, so I'll be 63ish or older starting a new career as a therapist and I feel excited about my future for the first time in... well... I don't even know. A very long time.

I want a career that feels meaningful to me, helps people instead of businesses, and lets me use my gifts. One I can do until I'm dead because I'mma need to work until they're spreading my ashes.

I plan to take a class this summer to dip my toes in.

Holy shit, y'all. Lila will be a senior and I will be a junior on the same campus. She's so supportive and I've been crying happy-scared-overwhelmed-curious-excited tears all day.

Kelly's going back to college. Holy shit.

#it's been 35 years #that's a hell of a gap #my student loan debt can fucking die with me #no more thinking about it #time to grab it by the balls and swing

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bradshawssugarbaby · 1 month

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I really really hate that I even feel the need to write this. I've got back and forth over it a lot over the last 36 hours - it's not something that I've taken lightly or done without a lot of thought, but I have to do what is best for myself, and more importantly, my family. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE a lot of people I've met thanks to the TGM fandom. My personal interactions with everyone have been (for the most part) nothing short of lovely. I feel spoiled with how good my experience on here has been over the past six months since I joined in to this. I've made some great friends and rediscovered my passion for writing and reading, I've found myself some really good creative outlets for my ADHD and mental health struggles, and I'm SO thankful for it. BUT. I can no longer be part of a community where I don't feel safe. I love writing. I love fanfiction. I love writing fanfiction where Bradley Bradshaw is a baseball player. I love writing silly little stories based off country songs I love where Jake Seresin asks you to marry him while quoting Florida Georgia Line. I love writing smut with no plot about Bradley and Bob, and Jake, and Goose - I write because I love it. However, I can't love something if the community makes me genuinely afraid and concerned for not only my own safety, but the safety of my child, and the safety of my friends. Doxxing is dangerous. End of story. It can cost innocent people everything. Everything. Jobs. Families. Lives. It's irresponsible and foolish, and comes with serious real life consequences, not just for the person who you decide to target. It creates a domino effect. I don't know about y'all, but I don't wish to take part in a community where I feel constantly worried someone is going to be out to ruin my life if I don't agree with them on something. If I post a fic that might be similarly written to someone else's. If I don't answer a request in my inbox. If I just do something that generally pisses someone off. It's not productive for my own mental health, and honestly? It's taken any enjoyment out of this for me. So, this is me - saying that indefinitely, I'm going on hiatus. I'm still deciding the future of this blog and my future on Tumblr in general. I might come back when I feel safe once again. I might never come back. I might do an overhaul and change my URL. I might make a whole new account. I don't know. Thanks for the fun times and the love on my stories since I joined in October. I appreciate everyone who has made me feel so welcomed and accepted on here, and taken me from being a sad, depressed housewife with ADHD to feeling myself again. Hopefully this isn't goodbye, it's just see you later, but we'll see how things pan out.

-- Haley 💜

P.S. Whoever is responsible for this? I hope you're happy. I hope nothing more that you're happy and can sleep well at night knowing you've taken something that so many of us use as an escape from reality, as fun and enjoyment, and completely destroyed it without a second thought.

#top gun maverick #hiatus #tgm

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lem0n-writes · 1 year

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You should hmmmmmm write fatherly mercs NOW 👿👿👿👿👿

If u want to teehee

Mercs being Fatherly for you since yk ur fatherless and stuff also scout bc he’s ur lame brother

Scout

He isn’t really the person you’d want as a father figure, but he can definitely act as an older brother or just a sibling in general!

Scout also gives me fun but weird uncle, so if you want an estranged uncle who is pretty dumb, funny, and kind of rich??? then yeah he’s a good choice.

The kind of guy to watch sports and yell at the players even though he doesn’t know the rules, that’s so father of him

He would then proceed to try to teach you the sport, and he will fail.

You guys just end up playing catch in the yard, but y’all quickly abandoned the gear after Scout heard an ice cream truck

You walk home together eating your deformed character popsicles, Scout’s arm around your shoulder, and the sun setting

Heavy

If you need a father figure, you came to the right person

He had to be the ‘man of the house’ for a while since his father died when he was young, so he kind of gets how you miss that paternal relationship

He’s very good at comforting and helping you when you aren’t feel well or having trouble with things even though he doesn’t speak English very well

I think having three younger sisters contributed to that

When you guys get closer, Heavy starts watching you on the battlefield more and keeping you near him, just to make sure you’re doing ok

He worries about you even though you guys do this every day, but he just can’t help worrying for you!!

Heavy would read you books in Russian, even though you don't understand much of it, and it reminds him of reading to his sisters when they were younger

When you visit Medic, Heavy watches the doctor closely to make sure he doesn’t try implanting any animal organs that don’t belong, but don’t worry, Medic takes a liking to you too because Heavy likes ya :)

Engineer

Is it just me or does he just give me like childhood nostalgia? Might just be because I'm from Texas too

If you start sticking to him like a lost puppy, he'll quickly go with it. He'll be looking out for you on the battlefield even though you’re a smart kid

Engie will definitely teach you a bit about engineering if you're interested too! He's very happy to explain anything and everything, not only engineering stuff, but it'd lowkey just be him info dumping

He will update your weapons more often than the other mercs, but that also means you guys sometimes have little adventures trying to fix your weapons or hunting down the occasional bread monster herd

Y'all have fun though, and your weapon gets updates, so win win?

He reads stories to you and Pyro too, mostly fiction ones though like the Grimm Brothers' writing.

Speaking of Pyro, you two are basically siblings now, good luck. Engineer has a little nook for you two to hang out in while he works into the nights. If you and Pyro fall asleep there, he'll walk you back to your room, maybe read you a silly bedtime story if Pyro's still with you two, and wish you a good night

Medic

He’s a questionable choice for a father figure, but he's silly <3

You’d probably be in the infirmary or calling him a lot if he starts feeling protective of you, but he thinks it’s sweet that you always get your injuries taken care of in this line of work. Like if you get a paper cut, you make sure to slap a bandaid on it, y’all know what i mean?

I don’t know how to explain in a way that doesn’t sound weird, but Medic is weird so eh?

During battles, when he knows the Heavy is safe, he’ll run off to top off your health, even if you’re only down 5 HP, and he saves his Ubercharges for you and Heavy <3

But since you’re getting injured a lot, Medic decides to teach you some first aid past the basics

If you’re interested, he’d teach you more advanced biology and even let you assist in surgeries! You guys bond over spinning Scout’s organs around, and Scout is not happy about getting his lungs switched around with his kidneys

All this time in his medbay got his doves quite used to you, so they now have favorites, you and Heavy. Although, now sometimes Archimedes tries to sneak away from their dad to follow you

Heavy always brings Archimedes back to Medic after you give them treats

Spy

Oh boy

If Spy begins acting in a fatherly way towards you, you must be something special

And Spy doesn’t have the best track record with children, Scout and the kid from the Smissmas comic, however Spy does still care

It would mostly be shown through gifts or praise for your exceptional work, he’s just very proud of you!!

While you’re great and all, he still watches your back to keep you safe from energy spies, and she teaches you new tricks to surprise the enemy team

It’s a nice challenge for you while also bonding with your sort of father figure!

When you learn a new skill, he’ll be singing you praises to the team for the next few days and expect to find a shiny gift from them in your room that night

“Bien joué, you have done well this past week”

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ssaalexblake · 11 months

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How would you respond to claims that 13's run feels a bit dodgy by having a cop travel with them?

You know, the other day while generally browsing the internet I happened across somebody complaining about this war movie. They were angry it was glorifying soldiers. Were anti-military themselves in general. You know what I mean. The thing is, though, the literature course I did in school had an entire unit and exam on war literature and I've read the book upon which the movie was based on and it has stuck with me as an incredible critique of war, conscription and the military by portraying those things in fiction. I would never pick it up again, not because it was bad, but because it was rough to 17yo me, but I am happy I've read it and other pieces of literature like it. I am happy I was taught to analyse and contextualise media with a serious subject such as that.

Now, this isn't the exact same thing as this. The BBC would legit never allow their lead children's show to Explicitly portray any acab message, like, ever, lets be true to reality here. But also, I genuinely think there is a fair amount of that puritanical black and white thinking going on here on the riff of Yaz working for the police being an immediate strike against the show because people think that portraying something is automatically lauding it because uh, the content of the story does Not track with the idea they're saying cop work is good work.

I have seen (on this site and many others) people say over and over again the only good cops are either dead or have quit bc they realised it was a crock of shit. In which case, the question becomes;

Did y'all miss the part where Yaz quit?

Yaz is not a cop anymore. Yaz quit. Yaz is portrayed as thinking it's frustrating bc because the helping people thing she was supposed to be doing isn't happening and we're shown this from literally the get go, her very first scene, and from there is only seen as trying A) to get work where she's actually helping somebody and totally failing to get it and B) straight up trying to get out of going to work by actually forging paperwork. S/O to her for that bit of illegality btw. Love that for her. She does not end the series employed by the police. Yaz found an actual way to help people and chose to do That instead.

Yaz's career arc is 'disillusioned teen signs up to be cop, realises it's bullshit and there are actual ways to help people and quits to go do that instead' which is, if i'm not mistaken, what we want actual real life cops to realise about their life choices.

I get it's a tetchy subject bc acab, i agree, and I get and agree and wish that this stuff could be more explicitly portrayed as well bc i'm sick of media or execs being too cowardly to be bold about messaging, but the insinuation that this portrayed the cops as systematically helpful or useful by having Yaz start out as a cop? No. Would I have liked it to be more explicit? Well yes, duh, but I cannot emphasise how that was literally never gonna happen. I can however emphasise how ideas like Yaz, whose main goal is to help, quitting being a cop bc she wasn't helping anybody beamed into impressionable young minds do, in fact, take root though.

Like, having a plucky teen hero character go through an arc of helping people and them Ending a cop to carry on the good work is Vastly different to a plucky teen starting out a cop bc they think that's how they get to help people then quitting bc they realised that's not true. One of these things is pro cop, the other is not.

I also hasten to mention again that there is a genuine conversation here abt the dodgy-ness cops being used in mental health emergencies. I wrote this out about it [Here].

On a personal note on this score, I, much like Sonya have been forced to deal with cops throughout somebody else's mental health emergency when I never should have had to and it fucking sucked. What an unempathetic bunch of rats who clearly haven't even done a google search's worth of research on how to discuss these things, let alone give it the gravity it deserves. That my choices were either cops or somebody dying is a travesty. And maybe this story speaks to me more personally as somebody who has had this experience and wants to throw hands over it still over a decade later, but that lady did not help Yaz, Yaz helped herself after a measly pep talk and the woman obviously never bothered to keep tabs and see if Yaz was okay afterwards either. Ryan helped his mate. Graham spreads good mental health advice that benefits others. The hospital in Syria was dealing in mental heath care by professionals of the time. Cop lady convinced Yaz to go home, succeeded, and Yaz gave her the credit when it was Her who dug herself out of that pit and not anybody else.

Like, genuinely this whole thing sets me off angry. And I could critique the execution if I wanted to but the bottom line is i've not actually seen anything else even go slightly Near where this plot went and I genuinely think it was something that should be said. As I said, a decade later and I still want to throw hands.

So basically like, I get the discomfort, I do, I get not wanting to see it as well, but Yaz grew OUT of this. Not the other way around. Portrayal is not endorsement. I do not personally find this era difficult to parse but people seem either unwilling or unable to do so on literally every theme addressed in it, but I am just back to being that 17yo in an english lit class being taught how to examine things through the vehicle of anti-war stories, ones that people are actually nowadays mad at for glorifying war just because they portray it when this couldn't be farther from the truth, and I cannot help but relate the situations a bit.

I mean, I don't think it's a 10/10 and I would tweak, but I am aware you won't be finding anything as bold as blatant acab on dw in this geopolitical climate and since that's endemic literally everywhere i'm not gonna single out This show for it when at least its trying (watching classic who and the things they just openly say and portray is soooooo eye opening. TV of the 21st century has no spine in general.) But the portrayal of something does not imply that said thing is positive. If real cops ditching the badge on principle is a good thing that we want to continue, I fail to see how fake ones portraying that said same thing is bad.

#dw shit #cynicalclassicist #prepare to get eaten alive for this one i guess #also i don't think dead cops are good cops bc dead cops who are shitbags don't deserve all the #glorifying and idolizing they get when they died assholes #give me one who walked away. that is better.#also lol there is SO MUCH media out there that glorifies cops #like fuck y'all ever seen an ep of blu/e blo/ods??? fucking galling #but nobody ever bitches abt the worst offenders bc nobody thinking this stuff has ever seen them l o l #i know this show is shit bc some situations u just can't leave #if i could erase a show from existence it'd be that one #dw meta

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laurapalmerz · 2 months

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i find it a rather fascinating phenomenon on here to see people post pictures of laura smoking or doing cocaine or whatever and tag it as an aesthetic or as if that's them to some capacity. i don't have an issue with people who relate to laura and her struggles coping w/ her abuse, however, i draw the line at people downplaying what she's going through. she's a fictional character, yes, and people have called this out before, but genuinely it's bothersome to a certain degree. laura palmer is a victim of incestuous abuse at the hands of her aggressive and controlling father, which is represented in parts through the form of BOB or just leland. in order to cope w/ this abuse, she turns to alcohol, drugs and sex work with older men. there is no place in her mind where she believes she's a good person, that her best friend donna is only going to be corrupted the more they hang out, that the love she feels (or felt) for bobby was never real. she never believed in goodness for herself, only the pain she thought she deserved. it's an never ending downward spiral for her, one that the people of twin peaks actively witnessed, yet never tried to help her out of. her therapist participated in her abuse by having sex w/ her when he was meant to guide her toward a better outlook on herself and life. there were so many signs that pointed toward what was going on in the palmer household, many signs that screamed for help. no one listened. this character was crafted in such a careful way to show the audience just how terrible it is to go through abuse at such a young age, what the trauma does to someone's mental health, and what the extreme's of it can look like. laura's life was valuable, she was deserving of a loving partner, time with her best friend, and general activities that teenagers participate in. laura palmer was deserving of happiness. and yet, her father stole it away from her. so yes, if you can relate to her struggles, more power to you. i wish you well in healing. but using her in your coquette aesthetics demeans laura's character and reduces her to just another fictional girl who smokes, writes in her diary, drinks, has boy troubles, etc. "omg! she's SO me!!!" no she's not. i bet you a dime that those of you who are posting these aesthetics and mood boards haven't even touched a drop of alcohol a day in your lives. go do your homework and take a walk. laura deserves much better than your minimizing. though, this also applies to characters like shelly and audrey (ESPECIALLY audrey). don't think i don't see how y'all just completely wipe the slate on these complex characters and make them into nothing but a pretty face set to lana del ray music.

#q.txt #twin peaks #laura palmer #incest //#child abuse ment //#sorry for the essay i've been thinking about this quite a bit #i'm not tagging anything else on this post because that's excessive #if people are going to argue w/ me in the replies or rb's don't bother #i'm set on this point and i'm not shifting thank you #anyways laura deserves the world and i think about her all the time #the fate she met is devastating and makes my stomach churn

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dearestxiao · 11 months

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Hey I just wanted to ask and I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfy but what happened to saekogun? I missed your #junesdegeneracyau and then I found out everything disappeared which was weird bcs I recall seeing ur blog in like March 2022

hi there nonnie... omg wow it's been such a long time since I've actually posted on this blog. thank you so much for the concern and to anyone else who's asked about me.

to give a quick tldr as to what happened with saekogun exactly: I took a break from writing right around a point in my life where I was both very busy, and slowly becoming more and more happy. the break turned out to be much longer than I thought it would be, and I one day decided to get rid of saekogun. my mental health has improved immensely, and I just wanted to say hello again.

I will start this off by saying I am very much alive and well. at the start of my first semester last year I decided to take a break from writing so that I could focus on my classes and internship and... just about everything else life had in store for me. it was initially supposed to be a short two week break, which is why I had initially never posted about it. but as more and more time went on, big (good) things kept happening in my life, and I had felt as if my mental health had additionally improved being away from tumblr. I decided that, for the sake of my mental well-being, I would not return for quite some time until I was fully stable enough to do so.

tumblr was a really weird source of turmoil in my life back then, which is kind of funny to say now that I look back on it (it sounds sooooo unserious, I know I know). I never talked about this openingly on my blog, but I did struggle a lot with my mental health, especially as someone with bpd. during the time that I wrote for saekogun, I had consistent and heavy episodes and mood swings. I knew no one else with bpd nor did I have someone I could talk about it with, so I felt a bit alone.

I felt very alone in my struggles and used tumblr as a sort of crutch and aid and it helped. immensely. but it also hurt me in different ways. I treated tumblr as a big responsibility in my life and it felt like I had a full time job as a content creator. I'm also neurodivergent and my executive function issues were beating me up without remorse. this was at a point in my life where I really did not have time for running my blog, but writing and interacting with the lovely following I had generated felt great. it was just too much for me though unfortunately, so I decided to move on.

I decided that I would keep the blog up running so that people could still enjoy it in my absence. however, one night after thinking on it for months I decided to just get rid of it. it sounds odd, but now that I was healing, that blog was just too representative and tied to a bad era of my life for me to want it to keep existing. so I banished it into the void, never to be seen again.

a lot of stuff has happened between now and then. to keep things short and sweet, I'm a lot happier now. I won't say things are absolutely perfect, because not everything can be of course, but I feel as though I've healed and grown. some amazing things have happened and for the first time in years I experienced true joy for a very long period of time. I'll stop myself from rambling before I get too cheesy and corny. but just know that it fr does get better y'all. I'm so glad I've lived long enough to a point where I can confidently say that.

I have a lot of regrets when it comes to saekogun. I definitely was not the best blog runner. I was constantly behind on asks and projects and I made lots and lots of mistakes when it came to my posting schedules and how I handled asks. I had so many asks that I never got to and made so many promises I couldn't keep. for that I deeply and utterly apologize. I do wish that I had done better and am sorry to those who've I disappointed. I thank everyone who had took the time to send something in and put time and energy into my blog.

another regret I have is not saving the color blue before I had gotten rid of the blog. that story is unfortunately lost to time itself since I don't have any portion of it saved. which sucks because if there was anything I'd continue to write about here from my old blog, it'd be that, but I have no access to it now.

I'm also sorry for anyone I have worried in my absence. I really should have made a post sooner, but I honestly had no idea what to say. I didn't know how to come back, and the longer I took to say anything, the harder it got.

I am beyond grateful for everything you've all had done for me, and for sticking around and checking up on me, and for enjoying my content in the first place. I cannot put into words how much it means to me for people to have cared about my silly little degenerate posts. from the bottom of my heart, I seriously thank you all. I also thank my sweet anons, old mutuals, and any followers who are still here.

now, onto the big question: will I ever write for this blog again? the answer is... iffy. I often fantasize about being able to write again, but the truth is I'm not into genshin anymore whatsoever, which is an issue since my primary fandom was always genshin. at some point after sumeru's initial release, I was simply just not as into the game anymore, and was too busy to actually sit down and play. I have no idea what's going on lore or game wise, and anything thats happened fandom wise either.

unfortunately, I'm not interested in getting back into genshin, so I'm very sorry to disappoint anyone who was hoping for more content like what I used to create.

however, I love writing. and I'm still really into yanderes and dark fiction as a whole. but I'm currently not into any fandoms that I think people would really be interested in so I don't think I have much to offer in terms of content. so for now, it's a... maybe? I guess we can talk about that as time goes by.

this is absolutely not to promise I'll actually be back though. I'm not sure if I'd be able to run a blog still to be honest, atleast not consistently. but I would love to drop by and post a little something every now and then and talk with you all.

thank you all once again, and thanks to whoever read this entire mess of words. listen, I'm rusty okay ��

#june speaks!

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euijin · 1 year

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some of y'all know and some of u don't but being chronically ill is one of my Things. i won't get into the whole tragic backstory or anything if y'all want to know more u can dm me idm talking about it at all but asdafsdgdg i had my appointment with my specialist doctor that i've been seeing every 3-6 months for the past eight years since i was diagnosed with my illness today and. she told me i was doing well on my own and that she wasn't doing anything to help me anymore and that she thought it was time she cuts me loose, essentially meaning...i am Better Enough to not have to see her regularly anymore. she said ofc i can make an appointment with her any time if i have problems but the regular checkins aren't necessary, i have Graduated sick person school 🥳

i didn't think i was going to get into it too much but i feel like some context is important so content warning for suicidal thoughts/depression/general shitty health i guess

i managed to not cry like a baby over this until now when i'm finally home and sitting down with some time to myself and it's honestly so surreal. i have had health problems my entire life and i remember when i was like. 13 years old. being too sick to go to school anymore and being in so much physical and emotional pain that i would Pray that i would die every day. i genuinely feel so sad for baby carly she suffered so much, and the thing about having health problems that essentially steal your life from you is that you become physically incapable of planning for the future because you don't know if you're going to be too sick to do this or that or if it'll even be possible for you, so i never really thought about what i wanted to do with my life, i just didn't think about the future At All. i tried to come to terms with the fact hat i would probably be sick my entire life and tbh yeah i will be, my illness is highly treatable but never Really goes away in its entirety, it will flare up in the future too. but somehow i never really considered the fact that one day...i would be healthy enough to not need to go to the doctor every three months anymore? i used to go to the doctor Every Week.

and i'm looking at my life now and like...i'm back in school...sure i only take two classes a semester and it's taking me five years to get a degree that was supposed to take me two years, but...i'm in school?? i have a 4.0 even after finishing my required math and science courses? and i don't have an Actual Full Time Job but i DO have a source of income and i am getting paid to write which is my favorite thing to do in the world. like yeah i'm 26 i have never even been on a date in my life but like...i'm still here??? and i've grown so much? it's only march and i've already done more this year than past carly ever dreamed i could?? the entire past month i've just been floored by the fact that i never could've done any of this in the past, and apparently my doctor sees it too and now i am just. Better Enough. to live my life how i want to now. and that's so crazy overwhelming and kind of scary but also exciting. to finally look at things and think...yeah i think i can do that. instead of "what if i'm not healthy enough." to be able to look at the world as a bunch of things i can do now instead of things i can't...like maybe i will actually learn to drive and get out of this dumb midwestern town and become a journalist and maybe it is possible for me to have goals and dreams that i can actually achieve. it's so hard to wrap my head around because i never really allowed myself that possibility before

this is a lot of rambling just to say ???? i don't even know dude ASDFSDGG i just feel so happy and proud of myself...and i feel so happy for my past self too, there have been lots of times in my life that i feel like past me would be so disappointed that i haven't done more with my life but today i wish i could tell 13 year old carly that we made it. and that we will be okay and that i can promise that for a fact. and i feel so proud of the me that felt like she couldn't do Anything for just surviving those days because even those days helped me get to today and to become the me that is well enough to not have to go to the doctor more than once a year anymore. and it's not like Everything Is Better And Perfect And Great, there will still be shit days and there's still a lot to work on and a lot more growing to do but wow. things are so much less shit now than they were 10 years ago, or even five years ago, and being able to Feel that so strongly after so long is just so rewarding. i honestly can't even put it into words, i could type about 5000 more and i'm pretty sure it still wouldn't be enough.

tl;dr wow turns out the "things get better" bullshit isn't bullshit after all. it just turns out that sometimes even the shit is part of the "getting better." i hope that if you're going through a hard time now that by next year, or in the next five years, or ten years, you'll be able to look back on this difficult time and be proud of yourself for surviving it, and that you'll also be happy for your past self, and be in a position to tell the you of today that you made it and will be okay. bc if it can happen to me!! it can happen to anyone trust me okay.

#carly.txt #long post #shit sure is long now that i'm looking at it on dash good gawd #i think i could've kept talking btu That Is More Than Enough #i ran out of tissues so i am wiping my snot with napkins now. disgusteng #crybaby (me)#i am starting to feel my age and i mean that in the best way possible #went from being mentally 16 to mentally 21 today alone i think #still have five years to go but u know. u take it one day at a time #thank u to anyone that read all of this i appreciate you #and i hope you all know i am desperately rooting for you even when i'm not around

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rimurutempest · 10 months

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heads up comrades:

(I'll be adding this to my pinned & such soon too)

i'm deleting the tumblr app & I don't plan to use the desktop version on my laptop.

i will still pop in occasionally through firefox on mobile, but i've thought about it a lot & I'm finally ready to step away -

the timing of which works well enough given what we've been finding out more & more re: tumblr staff's prejudices towards trans women.

i don't feel comfortable keeping their software on my devices. it doesn't feel right. my sisters are much to much more important than this time sink.

y'all are welcome to message me if you want to keep in touch in some form - this offer is not exclusive to mutuals, please don't feel intimidated. at worst i will politely turn a few people down.

(wrt mutuals, tbh i would probably be comfortable exchanging emails or even phone numbers - especially if y'all use Signal)

im honestly planning to phase off of soc med platforms in general, excepting a few messaging services, and try to get back in the habit of using forums.

if i don't reply for a while, im not ignoring you! i will check messages when i get to them.

(as always, you can most easily reach me on telegram @ / polteageist )

genuinely, i love you all & i wish you so much health, safety, happiness, and more.

change is scary, but it is ultimately a crucial part of living. i am wishing for y'all's success in facing any changes ahead with conviction & stability.

#psa #might just make *this* my #pinned post #anyways twiXer & fb are next #pretty easy to drop those tbh lmao

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httpshercherrywrites · 11 months

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Damn after all that time y'all must be thinking i died🤠, but don't worry i'm good, there y'all go whit a ✨NSFW WARNING HUH✨!

.(also a warning for aggression? and toxic relationship, idk why i needed to put this on that writing in specific, i'm sorry)

.(also sorry for any writing mistakes,i'm really tired☠️)

.

There wasn't the first time that you and kanato fighted about his childish comportment, you tough that would change after some years in a relationship, you know inside of your brain and damn well that kanato needed love and care and you were whiling to turn yourself

into the most patient person for his sake, but even you were having some trouble whit this kind of thing, always having someone screaming into your ear wasn't exactly what you tough you'd have to deal in a relationship, where mutual love must exist right?, but you didn't felt loved by Kanato, you felt like a kind of mother for him, which wasn't what you meant to be but sometimes you were confused to a one on streets, you and you "partner" felt incredibly uncomfortable whit this kind of situation going in every single day i wasn't even joking about that but it happens right? that turned you to deal whit a stressed and crying mess Kanato, again.

You know that you're not strong enough for that, and your patience were starting to run over your fingers and whit his last scream your mind seemed to broke when you high your voice for the first time in your relationship "I'M ALREADY TIRED OF THAT KANATO!", unneeded to say that the boy payed completely attention to you after that, for the first time allowing himself to listen to your words, you expected it to be worse but you had a understanding Kanato in your front listening to all of your complaints whit his attitude.

After a long talk between both of you there was a decision made about a health relationship, you were calm at this point, finally being able to talk about your feeling whit your boyfriend right?, Kanato seemed to agree whit all your "wishes", that maked you happy.

Until bed time of course that Kanato would always want intimacy between both of you, what you didn't expected was to see him completely aggressive whit you on that time, in general he wasn't that much of a hard person during that time, your thoughts only pointed to your discussion that you'd had earlier whit him, but it was for nothing apparently you were now in ropes, there's no way you could possibly scape from his room, you had a calm and silent Kanato until the question "You know what you've done wrong right doll?", there you were able to tell you here already fucked it, you questioned him about the discussion you'd had earlier, turning Kanato into a crying mess again, explaining why and how you should be his and only his obedient dolly and never raise your voice towards him, that maked him angry as at this point he was planing on killing you but he was happy whit your apology, and requested candies if you were able to walk on tomorrow day, that part of Kanato scared you but when he asked for candies in such a cute and deplorable state, you loved it, no needs to say he truly loved you that night, removing you from the ropes and finally marking your body whit bites to tell anyone that dare to come closer that you're already someone's belongings, only his, there was some part of this that always maked you fell loved by Kanato, i was talking about his gentle way even being so aggressive you could feel sometimes he's nothing but a scared little boy that was needy for your care, you could tell it when he gently enters into your wet walls, and bring his face to love your breasts, allowing his self to feel you completely and moan into deep pleasure while you did the same, when cumming was always inside, right after catching his breath again he demanded you to take care of him a good aftercare whit kisses and spooning it was perfect, living whit Kanato is a hard challenging but always has it sweet spots.

(okay, i don't have any idea of what was that, i just let the tiredness drive me, never again ay ay☠️)

#diabolik lovers #kanato sakamaki

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dionysiospsychas-photography · 5 months

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MOUNT PLEASANT PHOTO WALK

… Well, hello again readers. Firstly, Merry Everything and Happy Always! I wish everyone a cozy end of the year, and here's to starting over with new plans in the new year.

How are you? Good? Great. I'm glad, if that's actually the case. But this is just me talking to myself, hopeful and positive tho. Sincerely, I wish y'all are doing well and mildly happy. Me, I've been flat emotionally and creatively the last while. And it's been a bore. I get this way often because I'm bored easily, am constantly thinking of some concept or fear, or hilariously spending too much time writing about them.

But seriously and importantly, I realize it stems from inadequate sleep, which has been terrible lately, and acknowledge it's also because I don't go out for a walk often enough. The latter exacerbates the former, and round and round, which makes for a scattered mind, a mind that can't focus, a mind that can't be quieted, and sometimes brings to the front a random worry or a negative notion about myself, which then makes me doubt myself, which… AAAARGH! It becomes a general malaise and I don't know what to do next.

Typically, I would drop what I am working on and go for a walk to change ideas. When I'm observing my surroundings, scanning for a frame, being surprised by the new things I see, focusing on something interesting, other than myself, composing a frame and making something meaningful is meditative and calms me. Taking walks and photographing help me relax and refocus, feel ready for the next thing, sleep better, and not feel like plywood.

For the larger picture of my life, taking walks and photographing help me deal with my dyslexic overload, professional stress, general anxiety, and severe depression.

Wendy D, in one of her recent YouTube videos titled "Using Your Camera to Stop the Noise", talks about the negative voice in us. It takes over and makes us feel inadequate, creatively and personally. And to let that go, she goes for a walk in nature. She is narrating the video from a Vancouver beach, sitting on a log, sighing in realization and wisdom. She says being in nature and looking with her camera changes everything for her; she is in wonderment and it eases her mind. She gets into an art mode and acts with intuition, and that settles her down and gets rid of the chatter. (I concur.) Doing that also allows her to regain perspective and remind herself that she is good enough, that it doesn't matter what others are doing, and that photography is for herself. And it's a big relief. And for more insights and positive affirmations, please watch her video.

Likewise, my friend and photographer Sharon Wish has mentioned numerous times, especially while we're walking in a forest, how being in nature makes her feel so good. For her, it is an emotional refreshing and mental health renewal. Here is what she had to say.

"As someone who has a 9 to 5 work week at a stressful job, I find that walking in nature really grounds me and relieves stress and anxiety. When I am photographing and walking in nature it's a form of mindfulness for me. I notice I am breathing deeper and more freely, and completely focused on my surroundings and what I am photographing. It's the simple things that bring me peace, and being in nature with my camera is such an important part of my life. Nature photography is the greatest gift, and for that I am grateful."

For me too, the sights, sounds, and scents of the forest are wondrous stimulations and they rejuvenate me. But for relief of stress with photography, the locale is less important. It's going out that is more important, breathing in fresh air, seeing and finding something different, and stretching my ankles.

So, when you're feeling tense and scattered just drop what you're doing and go for a walk. And better yet, go with camera! Yup, there's nothing better for our mental well being and our artistic projects than to go for a photo walk.

For our photo walk in Mount Pleasant I won't say much. East of Main Street you can find lots of grimy and new things, varied architectural types and details, and an urban make up that has cool, interesting things and scenes to photograph. So, I totally recommend doing a photo walk there with a friend. And to be inspired, see the nice photos of Mount Pleasant below by the sympathetic photogs who joined us on that nice, fortuitous, fresh day.

Thank you much Brenda, Colin, James, John, Nina, Sharon, and Syd, for joining our photo walk and making the day fun.

The sympathetic photogs

The vengeful, blinking photogs

Photos by Brenda \ IG: @brendamw15

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Photos by Colin \ IG: @funktionalphotog

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Photos by Dionysios (your host) \ IG: @thephotogeniccity

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Photos by James \ IG: @jameshouston.arts

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Photos by John \ IG: @mac1054

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Photos by Nina \ IG: @nina.wood

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Photos by Sharon \ IG: @bluechameleon

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So, from your friendly neighbourhood photo guide, thank you for reading and see you at the next photo walk. And as I always say, to find new angles and experience different atmospheres of places, you just got to keep being there. I find there is pleasure in photographing together, getting to know each other, and conversing about this and that and photography. Importantly, we can be inspired by each other to keep making meaningful photographs. And it is hoped that these experiences will inspire local photographers to explore the city on their own.

So, how about you; have you explored Mount Pleasant? What do you do to relieve stress or anxiety? Send me an email and tell me what you think.

DP, 2023-12-17

Are you getting value out of the photo walks and the blog? If so, you can help support these by sharing them with others or thru Buy Me A Coffee. Think of it as a tip jar and an easy way to say thanks. Thank you for your support, I sincerely appreciate it! Merci beacoup!

#exploring #photowalk #mountpleasant

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trungtrancore2 · 8 months

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Trung's Archive

A little bit about myself :DDDDDDDD

Hello everyone, my name is Trung Tran and welcome y'all to my blog. I am currently majoring in Public Health at Texas State University, and I take an art class to learn more about depth in things generally and would like to know how people see everything differently. All of the topics and themes that you are going to see soon are all what I find interesting, and they relate to our simple life. Sometimes I do not really focus on the details around me but as I take time to think further and start seeing the importance in them, I realize that they play a big part and create the little fun for us. The message I want to deliver is that things happen for a reason and let’s get encouraged to deal with all the circumstances and happiness will come for sure. I hope my audiences will have some sort of excitement when finishing my blog. Thank you!

Tell me if you don't like to TRAVEL ^^

I cannot remember when I start to love travelling. I used to really hate it because it made me get out of the house and drove with my family for a long time to get to where I unintentionally went to. I felt exhausted by doing so but as time goes by, I see numerous spectacles when I go around the U.S. It has caused me to feel eager to explore more cool places. My parents are a little surprised when I tell them I wish I could travel more because they heard enough of my complaints during previous trips. It’s just a bit boring when staying in one single location for a while and I no longer like it. It amazes me with the people in my chosen places as well as the air and the environment such as buildings, houses, shopping centers, festivals, and last but not least, the nature.

Myself ! Again :(:

I was born and raised in Vietnam. I lived there in 14 years and came to the U.S in 2016. I have come back to my motherland 3 times, and I am going again in 2024. I believe that everyone has a place where they call a real home, and they can live with their true self regardless of the judgement from others. Journeys and adventures are great and amazing, but nothing is more than spending time with the place that we love most. I tell my family and relatives that no matter where I go, I always miss them much and nothing can replace them. The farther we go in the society, the more we realize that there is unconditional love only from blood. All of the relationships we have are just temporary and it has to be a win-win thing. Nobody is willing to provide us free stuff and so are we, just family.

Are you a cat person?

YES, why not?

Family <3

Family is everything.

Night time studying

It is the life of college students !!!

Gift

Giving is caring and receiving is the feeling of being appreciated

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alwaysadreamer369 · 5 years

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RIP 20GAYTEEN. You were, in fact, very gay.

NOW BRING ON 20BITEEN!!! Happy new years everyone!!! 😄🎉🎆

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stellocchia · 3 years

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Hot take:

The afterlife on the dsmp as it has been shown in canon is good and anything too different from it would send some screwed up message.

The afterlife has to be objectively shitty for everyone. (Tho tbh schlatt didn't seem that tortured and from what we've heard of MD he actually seemed to be havin a decent time??? Wish they'd tell us a bit more about the "day to day" life of limbo)

Because. Well. It can't be neutral. Because we have so many suicidal characters and a neutral limbo would be good in comparison to their life. And while that's all well and good, it sends a really bad message of death being freeing and all of that. A message you don't wanna send to your potentially mentally ill audience.

And I mean neutral in different ways. You disappear as a person and become part of the big nothing? That'd be good for many suicidal ppl. Just. Half-conscious eternal sleep floating in nothing? Again. That's good for people having a bad life.

A good afterlife like heaven or paradise or whatever has the same problem but even worse. It makes death desirable. So a hard no for a story like this. Also I don't want people like schlatt or dream to die after being awful and then just. Get the big happy end like everyone else?

And yeah, I hear ya. "Cat, why do we not just have different afterlifes for different p-" no stfu.

That would be even WORSE

Listen, I want ghostbur to have a better limbo too but what kind of fucked up message would that send? Wilbur deserved eternal suffering for his poor mental health and ghostbur deserved eternal happiness for literally not having the capacity for it? And that's also once again establishing that death is desirable with the right circumstances.

And again. And this is important. An afterlife that judges you is an awful fucking idea for especially this story. A story where everyone is morally grey and has become worse due to trauma.

And the afterlife is objectively shit. But I also wanna point out that a lot of Tommy's complains came from Wilbur apparently tormenting him and Wilburs came from being alone all the time.... Which is not gonna be a problem for eternity when the afterlife is shared (which makes a good point for the theory that the current afterlife isn't the true afterlife but messed up because... How tf was JSchlatt the first one to die yet a revivebook existed)

Like yeah. The afterlife would also have been shit for Tommy even without Wilbur because... Sensory deprivation tank. But you also gotta remember that he very much requested to STAY THERE if he were to die again.

So dying and being revived is objectively worse.

But even more so. The people there don't change. They change in small ways! Wilbur went from being dead and not wanting to be revived during the disc war finale to being dead and not wanting to be revived but also planning to make life hell if he were to being dead and wanting to be alive again.

But overall. They can't grow. They can't start or have or complete a character arc when they're dead. And that's great. Change is a privilege of the living. Life sucks but death also sucks and there you can't even change. Life sucks but at least that can change. Life sucks but it can not suck at some point. Life sucks but if you give up and die that will never end.

Life is precious because it can be good unlike death.

Tldr: the dsmp afterlife is perfect the way it is y'all are just fucking weak.

I agree with most of your points, but not with Tommy. Like, a big part of why the afterlife sucked for him was also that he felt like he was constantly being ripped apart and stretched, he explained as much when talking about it. Wilbur made it worse, but he wasn't the only thing.

Also, while Tommy initially expressed that being back was worse, that's a feeling that hasn't been expressed in a long ass time and was probably the result of the mix between the sensory overload, the alienation and feeling like he'd been replaced. Most likely now his answer would be different. We can't really take something he said when he was freshly traumatized and act like he could never change his mind on it.

Further proof on that is how fervently Wilbur wants to live. How happy he is to be back. Makes me think that revival isn't all that bad if it isn't done in literally the most traumatizing way possible. And that's a good thing honestly. It sends a stronger message about life still being better and still being worth it.

But yeah, in general that's also why I like the canon Limbo. I really don't think it would have been smart to handle it any other way honestly.

The only reason why I don't like Ghostbur being there is because it doesn't really make any sense? Like, did Ghostbur exist as an independent entity before Wilbur died? If not why does he still exist now that Wilbur is back? How separate are they as entities? Why did nothing like this happen with other characters who also died? If Wilbur got Ghostbur's memories does this mean they partially merged in some way? How does a Ghost even die? Why was Wilbur able to interact with Tommy, Schlatt and MD in Limbo but Ghostbur supposedly isn't?

Like, it just creates so many fricking plotholes it's unbelievable. Honestly the best thing he could have done was just say that Ghostbur and Wilbur merged and that was it. At least it would have made sense. Now it's just kind of there as information and we have to pretend it makes sense even if it really really doesn't.

#ladycatland ask #long post #tw suicidal tendencies #dream smp

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poormeowmeowcollector · 3 years

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Loki's experience with Earth's acceptance

Relationships: Loki & Tony, Loki & Avengers

Warnings: Homophobia, smoking, awful mental health, mentions [of screen] of child abuse and mentions [of screen] of self harm.

Summary: Loki makes a grave mistake, pays for this vicious crime

Notes: I swear, this was supposed to be fluff. Also, this is the non Reader pride fic. Happy pride y'all!

AO3

Loki had been compromised.

They didn't kill anyone, didn't hurt any avengers and didn't rejoin the dark side. No, Loki's crime was much worse.

Loki had the nerve to appear on a local pride parade.

And he hated every single moment of it.

People first were kind when recognizing them, asking questions and generous to chat. Loki had all the energy to chat back. Then, the shit started.

Some recognized the ace and aro flags Loki had painted on their cheeks and the genderfluid one they were using as a cape on their suit (as well as the rainbow infinity symbol on a pin). They started yelling curses, spitting and pushing. Yelling that he's not oppressed because he passes (he's invisible) and because he was raised with privileges (that managed to scar him deeply and never stops to cause issues) or that he's not even real, that he's just a cishet trying to slither in.

Loki was raised a royalty by Odin, they have mastered the art of ignoring insults.

So, instead of yelling about love and acceptance, Loki spent the pride with other people who were getting attacked. Some, like him, were attacked for not having the right identity, some even for not being white or skinny. Well, good thing this is a pride parade…

Some people were willing to hang out with Loki for a bit, talk (or vent) about the hypocrisy of this behaviour, and then they decided to either stay or leave. But some moved away and yelled at Loki to get lost, reminding them that they would not understand because they're white (more like so heavily whitewashed that they hate both their birth form and the illusion, since one is a monster and one is a reminder of a lie) or not fat enough to understand (they're still trying hard not to binge-eat everything containing protein and work themselves to exhaustion in hope of some muscle). Loki was just apologizing and wishing a good day.

Three hours is the most Loki lasted before heading home, once again disappointed by this planet.

Three hours were enough for paparazzi to take countless pictures of Loki with his flags, and flood the internet with them.

Some people, more than the ones on the parade, were talking about how happy they are to see someone being queer and with the influence Loki has and how just Loki's existence makes them feel better for their own identity. Loki wishes to hug every one of them, and thank them for their words.

Yet, all the events where Loki was invited demanded their resignation, many articles were nothing but gossip and rumours, many people were outraged. The messages of sympathy were soon outnumbered by the slurs and threats, feeling like a punch and hitting so close to home. Loki, on a rush of thoughts, deactivated the accounts and unplugged the TV. When Tony realized, he rushed to Loki's room to demand answers. Instead, he offered comfort when he saw Loki's state, too close to slipping down to a path they fought hard to get away from.

And Tony did manage to stop Loki from going down that road again, mostly with distractions. Until the next day.

"I know this is too much to ask, but I need a favour," he starts. Loki scoffs, tossing some ash away from their cigarette before taking a long sip. So much for quitting, but at least smoking is something they can quit with ease and leaves fewer scars behind.

"I will regret this, but go on," they sigh and tilt their head, letting their fingers fidget with the bedsheets.

"Tomorrow, there's a press release held in the tower. Of course, you can come, but you don't have to if you're not ready yet. I just want you to plug back the TV and watch it, please," and there is the bomb. Loki sighs again.

"It's already plugged in, Bob Ross is quite therapeutic… But, I will think about it, I'm not making any promise," they hum, trying to keep their voice steady and failing. Tony relaxes, even though the answer he took wasn't the one he wished for. Perhaps, he was expecting worse.

"Bob Ross, huh?" he asks instead, his leg bouncing.

"Yes, he's relaxing. And a sweet man," they nod. "I tried Mr Rogers as well, but he didn't hit the same way," they draw another deep inhale, yet more laid back this time.

"I see. At least this Mr Rogers doesn't rant about freedom and liberty," Tony grins like the idiot he is.

Something between a laugh and a cough escapes from Loki, their hand covering their mouth but letting the smoke flow between their fingers. They try to laugh without choking for a few seconds, until the airway is clean enough to allow the usual giggles. And of course, Tony offers this self-satisfied smile.

Because as much as he loves making Loki laugh like an idiot during the worst possible moments, he loves cheering them up when feeling like shit. And, since Loki is indeed an idiot, they had to work a lot to accept Tony's company.

"I hate you, Edward," they groan, their voice still rough. Tony smiles, and keeps up with the jokes for as long as possible.

Loki, in fact, did not think at all about whether they'll watch the press conference or not. But Friday woke them up around the time it starts, so Loki decided to have a little noise while taking their cup of tea.

Until the Avengers entered the screen.

Tony was wearing a bi flag as a cape, on his cheeks and forehead writing "ADHD", "PTSD", and "Abuse Survivor", as well as the same neurodivergence pin Loki has. Loki rubs their eyes, sure they're somehow still asleep. But Tony's not the only one dressed up. Steve, with the graysexual flag and the words PTSD, Immigrant and Veteran follows, smiling and waving at the cameras. Bucky had the Achillean flag, also listing some of his trauma on his face. Bruce had the gay flag, Natasha the aro (both identifying as child abuse survivors as well).

Sam was also wearing a bi flag with his military suit, the one he swore he'll never wear after his co-pilot's death. Clint had the demi flag and was holding his hearing aids, Wanda had her pan flag and her Romani dress, the star of David and the flag of Sokovia painted in her face. Even Thor and Peter joined the masker party, with the nonbinary and trans flag and Thor writing his pronouns on his forehead and the acronyms NPD and ASD on his cheeks, also bearing the pin, Peter mimicking the pronouns but writing just ASD and Orphan. And then, Tony winked at the camera.

Loki can't stop shaking and crying, but also smiling at the view. They don't think before walking past the now broken cup and towards the bathroom, using the mirror to write some of their own "weaknesses" on their face (after managing the tears). They quickly choose the "Child Abuse Survivor" for the forehead and acronyms BPD and ASD for the cheeks, but it's not enough. Afterwards, they carefully change to a short-sleeved shirt, using the hands to write some more (without covering their scars). Then, after making their genderfluid flag also one third asexual and one third aromatic, they drop the Æsir illusion and run to the room where the conference is held.

Loki can hear people asking questions and cameras snapping, but it gets louder when they walk in. They smile and don’t give a fuck about how obvious the last crying session is. No, they just go directly to Tony and hug the shit out of him. They let their hands shake again but hold back the tears just to save the paint.

"You watched it, right?" he asks, now smiling softly as he breaks the hug

"I wanted some background noise,” they huff, this time ready to face whatever hate their existence is igniting.

Because yes, Loki alone cannot face all this. But when the other Avengers, their family, on their side, they can bear a little longer.

~~~~~

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shadow-stars16 · 3 years

Text

The crows in school(modern)(Singaporean edition)

TW ⚠mentions of eating disorders

Kaz

Kaz dislikes the uniform strongly because he thinks he looks weird in it as the rest of his wardrobe is filled with Black colour clothes except his school uniform. Kaz is always judged by his classmates since he doesn't talks much except to Jesper some girls would even gossip about Kaz and how dangerous he is. Even though with all the gossiping and the dislike from his classmates his teachers were being unhelpful for telling Kaz to just talk to his classmates which doesn't works. Kaz also gets good grades in like every subject and would sometimes help Jesper by giving him to copy his homework only Jesper not other classmates because Jesper is his best friend and only friend. One day Kaz walked passed a group of girls gossiping about him and realised this are his classmates so he went up and asked whether there is any homework. Kaz knew that the girls were gossiping about him he pretends to not hear it and asked the girls if there was any homework. The girls were in shock and one of them replied"errrr.... I don't know ask the teacher I guess." Kaz just replied with alright and he walked away. Kaz also joins a CCA( co cirliculum activity) since it's compulsory so he joins the robotics club with Jesper. Kaz is also adopted by Jesper's parents but he didn't change his last name as Jesper's parents leave it up to him.

Jesper

Jesper is okay with the uniform he just doesn't likes the rule that specifies no jewelry. Jesper compared to Kaz was a litteral mess, his worksheets are all crumpled but in the end he miraculously still managed to pass for many subjects but he does especially well in math. Jesper is not interested in any CCA like litterally no, since CCA is compulsory he is just forced to join one and he joins concert band, he does not enjoy and even skips practices sometimes since his father forced him to join after a year he quits concert band to join robotics club with Kaz. Jesper also occasionally goes to the library to borrow some books to read to Wylan generally Jesper is a chaotic mess and he scores mostly B's. Jesper also takes D&T( design and technology) as one of his subjects, he likes D&T and always finishes his work faster than anyone in his class(usually a few lessons ahead of everyone) . Even though he can finish school work on his area of interest he struggles with other subjects and often seek help from Kaz or Wylan or he just doesn't cares at all. To be honest he just seeks help because he needs to move on to the next level or else he gets retained.

Inej

Inej is the girl who much prefer to wear PE(physical education) attire than uniform because the PE shorts are way more comfortable than the skirt. Inej scores well for all PE assessments like no shit she's even better than the guys. She is in volleyball as that's one of the only sports CCA girls can join. Inej likes to play volleyball but hates her CCA mates. Most students in volleyball are just the mean girl type and Inej hates them to the core. Inej is also a really polite student which makes her many teachers favorites which make her look stuck up. Since inej scores really well for PE and she cares about it, she is her PE's teacher favorite student. Since inej is also a minority in Singapore she oftenly get makes fun of because of her skin colour and she chooses to ignore it. Inej mostly gets a B4 or a B3 for every class. Inej also goes to other sports class outside school such as taekwondo( Korean martial arts which involves like self defence) (if there is any of y'all who know more about taekwondo even more than me feel free to correct if I'm wrong). Sometimes Inej secretly wished that she had a lighter skin tone so she wouldn't be made fun of.

Nina

Nina is a really loud and popular girl in school, she's okay with school uniform and doesn't bother too much about them either. Nina have a lot of friends and has a huge Instagram following, she doesn't has the best grades for school to be honest she always just gets a C5 or a B4 and tends to fail one or two subjects. Nina also tends to joke around with teachers which some of the teachers don't mind. Before she was this loud and popular girl in school, she suffered from body image issues and had an eating disorder because of bullying from her classmates,since now she's a little slimmer than before and also transfered school as her classmates from her previous school makes fun of her body. Nina does not really care about school she genuinely cares for her friends and spends time writing cards to her friends for maybe the start of school or end of school since she had so many friends. Even though Nina doesn't seem like she cares about school she does do her homework all the time and does pretty okay for test. Nina finds a special interest in biology though for some reason maybe because of her heart rendering powers, but Nina wants to be a social media influencer which kinda had nothing to do with school. As Nina's popularity grows people thought that Nina was mean when they first started befriending her but it is not she just has too many friends and hangs out oftenly with only a few friends. Nina's Instagram stories are all filled with memories of her going out with her friends and talking about mental health everytime she talks about mental health she looses a couple of friends even though she feels sad about it, she knows that they are not mean to be and they should go. The closest friends she kept by her side all supported everything she did and she returns the support to them too. Nina's CCA is concert band and she plays the trumpet she likes concert band as it is fun and enjoyable.

Matthias

Matthias does not feel anything about the school uniform. Matthias is mostly very loyal to his friends he isn't the super popular type of guys but he has a few friends and his life works out fine with them. One particular not so masculine trait about Matthias is he likes cooking but he doesn't lets others know since they might think that he's gay. He scores pretty much like an B3 to an A1 for any subject that he takes. Matthias is the type of guy who sticks to a routine like waking up earlier just to work out or go for a run at like 4am and sleeping at like 8pm. Matthias rarely post on Instagram most of his post were only just workout stuff or his pictures when he occasionally went out. Matthias does half his homework when he is eating breakfast the other half from the previous night. He doesn't enjoy waking up this early and wished school would start later but he knew working out in the morning is better than working out after school. Matthias is in NCC( national cadet cops) a uniform group CCA, Matthias is also really good at PE like Inej. A lot of teachers like him because he is very hard working and puts a lot of effort into his work. Matthias also takes F&N( food and nutrition) , he usually gets really good grades. He is partnered with Inej for F&N and they usually come out as one of the best in class, they are a really productive duo and they know how to complement each other as friends.

Wylan

Wylan looks really cute in school uniform for some reason every feature of his just complements the school uniform and Jesper compliment him about it everyday. Wylan is a very smart person he gets like A2 or A1 for basically every subject and particularly excels in music he usually gets near to full marks for every music test and he is very happy about that even though his father is not the most happy about that since he should be scoring as well for his other subjects so he can inherit his wealth. Jesper and Wylan hangs out all the time in school they usually hang out at Jesper's house after school and he helps Jesper with his homework. Sometimes during the school holidays Wylan would come over for a sleep over and Jesper, Kaz and Wylan would just talk forever. Kaz can talk to Wylan about architecture building and how much is some art piece worth and they all chat happily together. Ones they decided they are going to go to bed, Jesper takes out Wylan's favorite book and reads it to him until he falls asleep. Wylan finds Jesper's voice mesmerising and could call asleep just by Jesper reading stories to him.

#grishaverse #six of crows #writing #headcanons

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