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thatgirlstrawberry · 1 year

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Sick Surprise pt. 6 — Rossi’s Princess Castle

In which Spencer invites Y/N to his team’s dinner but the sitter for Eloise cancels

Warnings: Fluff, ¿smut scene?, Eloise, Henry and Jack being adorable, dirty jokes, Derek teasing Spencer, the team being like wtf— 😧

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Spencer’s chest heaved as he collapsed on the bed next to his girlfriend. Her eyes were still squeezed shut and her lip between her teeth.

After a moment of breathing and calming down, Y/N hummed and moved to lay close to him. “Wanna go shower?” She asked, kissing his neck. “We can be louder in there.” He chuckled, rubbing her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“Of course.” He kissed her lips and pulled away, laughing when she tried to catch his lips again. She giggled as he began talking again. “So… there’s this dinner…” He trailed off.

Y/N hummed, her fingers grazing over his abs gently. “Mhm…”

Spencer cleared his throat. “My friend from work is hosting at his house and Um—“ He paused and kissed her because her lips were searching for his. “They know that I’m dating someone— that someone being you— and Rossi invited you.”

Y/N stopped he movement of her hand and looked up at him. A small smile grew on her lips. “Really?” She asked quietly.

Spencer smiled down at her. “Really. I would really like for them to meet you.”

Y/N nodded. “But what if they don’t like me?”

The man scoffed. “They’re gonna love you.” He whispered. “I love you.”

Her smile grew and she grabbed the side of his face, kissing him. He pushed her hair out of the way and kissed her back. “I love you too. So much.” She mumbled between kisses. “And I would love to come to dinner.”

Spencer chuckled. “If you keep kissing me like that we’re not gonna make it to the shower.”

Y/N smirked, moving her body to straddle waist. “I’m okay with that.”

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Two days later, Y/N stood in front of her full body mirror in a dress and heels. Eloise was jumping on her bed and singing some song about colors she had heard on the tv earlier in the day.

“Mommy, how long you gonna be gone?” Eloise asked as she stopped jumping.

The mother hummed and spun around. “Just a few hours.”

Eloise shook her head and frowned. “A foo hours is wike… forever, mommy!”

Y/N giggled and sat on the edge of her bed, letting Eloise lean against her. “No it’s not, Eloisey. And you get to be here with Katie. Don’t you like Katie?”

The girl gasped. “Oh my dosh— I wuv Katie.” She breathed out.

Y/N smiled and nodded, kissing her cheek. “I know! You guys are gonna have so much fun!”

Like the universe hated her or something, her phone buzzed beside her and she picked it up.

From: Katie

Hi Y/N! I’m sooooo sorry but i can’t watch Eloise tonight. I think I caught the flu and I’d hate to get her sick

Y/N sighed and shut her eyes. “You’ve got to be fucking me in the ass.” She groaned, forgetting that there was a 3 year old right next to her.

“Mommy, why did you say the fuck word?” Eloise asked causing her to groan louder.

She opened her eyes and put a smile on her face. She knew that Spencer’s phone was on silent and he probably wouldn’t be paying much attention to it while he was with his team.

“No reason baby.” She shook her head. “Go pick out an outfit for you to wear tonight, okay?”

Eloise furrowed her eyebrows. “Why?”

Y/N swiped Jaír out of her baby’s eyes. “Because Katie can’t come tonight so, we’re gonna go eat dinner with Spencer.”

Eloise squealed and crawled off of her mom’s bed and ran out into her room.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

When Y/N arrived at the house— the fucking mansion— she sighed and looked back at Eloise.

“Oh my dosh, Spenther’s fwiend wives in a princess castle!” The girl shouted, clapping her hands.

Y/N laughed. “Yes, he does live in a princess castle.” She took her phone off of the gps thingy in her car and got out.

She walked around the front of the car and got Eloise out of her car seat. “You ready?” She asked, hiking the girl up on her hip, and holding her fist out.

“Ready fweddy.” Eloise nodded and bumped her tiny fist on Y/N’s.

Y/N nodded and began to walk up the stone driveway. She got to the door, feeling her heart hammer in her chest. “Oh god, I can’t do this.” She whispered.

“Yeth you can mommy.” Eloise smiled and touched her mother’s cheek.

She kissed Eloise’s forehead and quickly pressed the doorbell. They heard the sound outside before hearing Spencer’s voice.

“That’s Y/N!” He said, trying to be quiet. “Don’t ask too many questions— Derek why are you sm- stop smirking.”

Y/N took a deep breath in and the door swung open. Spencer’s smile widened when he saw Eloise in her arms.

The woman shook her head. “I’m really sorry, my sitter canceled and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to find one on short notice and I’m really—“

“Y/N, Y/N.” Spencer stopped her. “It’s okay! I was hoping you’d bring Eloise anyway.” He said, looking at the kid. “I missed my girl anyways.” He smiled and Eloise held her arms out.

Y/N let Spencer take her out of her arms. “Are you sure this is okay? Do I look okay? Is my makeup-“

Spencer leaned forward to kiss her shortly. “Everything is fine.” He nodded.

Y/N nodded and smiled up at him nervously, following him as he moved back inside the house.

She walked behind him and heard a quiet gasp as they entered the dining room. “Oh my God, is that a child!?”

Y/N bit her lip and stood next to Spencer, smiling nervously and looking around at everyone. “Uh, guys this is Y/N.” He said nodding down at her. “And this is Eloise,” He noticed how Y/N stiffened under the team’s stares. He cleared his throat.

A blonde dressed in bright purple stood up and made her way towards them. “Oh my goodness!” She pulled Y/N into a hug causing a surprised noise to leave the woman’s mouth. “It’s so nice to meet you!” She pulled away and looked at the girl in Spencer’s arms. “And you too! Oh my gosh you’re adorable.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” Y/N spoke.

“I’m Penelope!”

Eloise became shy and she waved, leaning into Spencer’s neck. Y/N giggled and said hi.

Then, everyone else walked up to them and introduced themselves to her and Eloise.

Derek and Savannah, David Rossi, Emily Prentiss, JJ and Will and Aaron Hotchner all greeted her with a smile and a handshake— JJ hugged her.

When the blonde woman met Eloise, she glanced up at Spencer with wide eyes. “I’m JJ.” She told the girl.

“Hi JJ.” Eloise greeted quietly.

Y/N smiled and Eloise looked at her with wide eyes. “What’s wrong baby?” The girl waved her over and she walked over, leaning closer to her. Eloise whispered something in her mom’s ear.

A moment later, she pulled away from her and looked at Rossi. “I’m sorry, can we go use your bathroom?”

The man nodded. “Of course.” He smiled. “It’s right down that hallway to the left.”

“Thank you.” She nodded, taking Eloise from Spencer and nodding at him before walking to the bathroom.

The team waited until her heels stopped clicking and the bathroom door shut.

Derek scoffed. “So how exactly did you win her over?” He asked with a chuckle. Savannah slapped his arm.

Spencer rolled his eyes. “We met at this coffee shop near her apartment—“

JJ smiled. “What, like five years ago? I mean, that kid is huge!” She exclaimed in a hushed whisper.

He shook his head. “No Um… I met her six months ago. Eloise is Um… she’s not mine.” He hated saying because even though technically it was true, anything a father would do for his daughter, he’d do for Eloise.

“She’s adorable, Reid.” Emily spoke. “Oh, the kid is too.” She jokingly shrugged.

Spencer smiled and rolled his eyes. “She’s really nervous so can we please tone down the compliments.”

JJ’s eyes lit up. “Ooh! Maybe Eloise would like to play with Henry and Jack when dinner is cooking.” She pursed her lips. “They’re just in the back yard.”

Spencer shrugged. “We’ll have to ask her.” As if on cue, Y/N’s heels began clicking again and Eloise was saying things.

They came around the corner and /N was holding Eloise’s hand as they walked. She let go of her mother’s hand and ran up to Rossi, pulling on his pant leg. “Scuse me, mithter. Do you wive in a princess castle?”

The team laughed and Rossi bent down a bit. “I do live in a princess castle.” He nodded.

Spencer chuckled and leaned over to Y/N as the two of them went into a deep conversation about Eloise’s favorite princesses.

“Is it okay if she goes outside and plays with JJ and Hotch’s boys?” He asked.

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, of course. But you didn’t need to ask my permission.” She told him quietly. “I trust you, okay?”

Spencer nodded and kissed the side of her head before getting Eloise’s attention. “Hey, Eloisey do you wanna go play outside and meet some new friends?”

The girl nodded shyly and Spencer held out his hands. Eloise grabbed onto both and hopped onto his feet. Y/N laughed as he began to waddle towards the sliding doors behind the dining room table.

JJ went out before him so she could rally up the other kids. “Hey guys?” She called. Y/N followed behind Spencer and Eloise.

The boys stopped throwing the ball around and came running towards JJ. “Is dinner done yet, mommy?” Henry asked.

JJ chuckled. “Not yet honey. I wanted you and Jack to meet Spencer’s friends Y/N and Eloise.”

They looked up at the woman and then at the girl who held a small smile. “I’m Eloise.” She nodded. “You wike pwaying superhewoes?” She asked.

Jack nodded rapidly and Henry gasped. “We love playing superheroes.”

Eloise hopped off of Spencer’s feet. “Otay. I’m donna be the good one. You duys be da bad ones.”

She ran further into the yard and Y/N laughed, covering her mouth as they ran after her. “She’s gonna sleep gooood tonight.” She nodded with a smile.

Rossi tapped her on the shoulder and she turned around. “Would you like a glass of wine?”

“Ooh.” She smiled. “What do you have?” She asked.

Rossi chuckled. “A whole damn cellar, sweetheart.”

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

Emily, Penelope, JJ, Savannah and Y/N all stood around the kitchen island with their glasses of wine. The guys sat around in the backyard watching the kids play. “So…” Emily smirked. “How’s the sex?”

Y/N almost choked on her wine and took the glass away from her mouth, wiping her noir with a napkin. She giggled and kissed her teeth. JJ slapped Emily’s arm. “What? It’s a real question.” She shrugged.

The woman inhaled. “It’s fuckin’ mind blowing. He like a vagina wizard or something.” She laughed. The rest of the girls laughed as well.

They were consumed in conversation when the oven dinged. Y/N raised her hand. “I’ll go get the guys.” She told them.

She set her glass down and walked out of the kitchen and towards the sliding doors. The guy’s chairs were faced away from the door and she slowly open it. Before she called for them, she paused when she caught the end of their conversation.

“I think she was sent by God. She’s perfect.” Spencer’s voice was quiet but she smiled hearing every word. “A-and Eloise is the cherry on top. I didn’t know that I wanted kids until I met her. She’s the best. And she’s just like her mother.”

Y/N teared up and bit her lip as the guys all ‘awed’ and patted him on the back. “And I’m gonna marry her. I don’t know when but it’s going to happen.”

Her grin widened and she cleared her throat. “Um, I think dinner is ready.” She said quietly. They all turned back, not think that she had heard their entire conversation.

Rossi popped out of his chair and clapped. “Great! You’re gonna love my lasagna.” He nodded.

“Lasagna?” She repeated, glancing at her cute but very messy girl.

Rossi chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry. I made the kids chicken nuggets and fries.”

Y/N sighed in relief and laughed. She saw Eloise running up to her and she bent down. The girl ran and jumped into her arms. “Mommy, can Jack and Henry come over tomorrow!?” She asked.

Y/n spun her around. “We’ll have to ask their parents but it’s okay with me! Come on let’s go eat!”

Spencer smiled as he watched Y/N wiggle her around as they went inside.

He got so lucky.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

After dinner, the kids were watching a Disney movie in Rossi’s home theater and the adults were all standing around the kitchen island talking.

Spencer grabbed Y/N’s hand and she leaned over to him. “I love you.” She spoke quietly. “And thank you for being with me and Eloise.”

He kissed her cheek, knowing that the others were too immersed in conversation with each other. “I will always be with you.”

Y/N giggled. “And the girls might tease you at work for a little while.”

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows with a smile. “Why?” He asked, rubbing his hand over her lower back.

“I may or may not have called you a vagina wizard.”

———————————————————————-

HAHAHAHAHAHH

I love this so much and I love that Y/N and Eloisey met the teammmmm!

The next chapter has some angst and it’s gonna be about Eloise’s 4th birthday! So excited!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter

Love ya bunches ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @mrsgweasley @tuesdayyellowxx @blue-willows @monzarella @winkev1

@criminallymagic

@mermateyepmatewithte

@lipstixstain

@urlovelydarling

@dreatine

@f-me-reid

@fantastic-fans

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#spencer reid #spencer fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x original female character #criminal minds #spencer x oc #spencer x reader

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papirouge · 11 months

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sorry for the Tekken sperging

if you want to have an idea of how much japanese game developer hate women, just look into Tekken tbh

there is no female character beyond 25 years old

since there's been a 15 years old gap between Tekken 2 and Tekken 3, and while ALL the male characters who were in Tekken were allowed to get old (Heihachi, Lei, the Laws (father & son), Kazuya, etc.) AND still got included in the next games, the female ones didn't 🙃

Michelle Chang? she got a replaced by her "daughter" Julia in Tekken 3. The William sisters got cryogenized for all this time so they biologically didn't age. And now they're basically doing the same for the next opus by bringing back Kunimitsu....through her lookalike daughter (same mask and all) ??? wtf is this?? that daughter doesn't even have the same swag as Kuni. That Kunimitsu #2 looks like a cute anime girl, when Kunimitsu was that mysterious morally ambiguous ninja thief, like- HELLO??

glo down of the millenium tbh. rEAL KUNI WHOULD NEVER SHOW HER FACE!!!! Tekken hasnt got a decent/original character since Tekken 6 anyway.

Oh and they killed Jun after Tekken 2 (that may or may not be back from the dead somehow, but ofc won't be old cause she DIED AT A YOUNG AGE WHEN JIN WAS STILL A CHILD !!!! so probably her reincarnation, ghost or some random nonsensical shit like that)

And let's not talk about Julia tragic makeover between Tekken 6 and 7 and became a whole different person : she went from a caring, environment defender Native American to....a hyperconnected bimbo'ish geek?? ...all of this was to cater to scrotes ofc bc OG Julia wasn't really sexy to begin with (kinda horse girl'ish - she was the -less sexy- equivalent of Hitomi in the DOA franchise imo). Her character was more serious and had so much substance than she does now...

I also HATE how there's a gag overkill in the serie (esp the Mishima e.g their endings in Tekken Tag 2 aaaaaand IDC if the TTT games are not canon, stop trying to make this dysfunctional family where everyone wants to kill each other look like a comedy skit EVERYTIME, it's getting old)

CANT WE HAVE SOME SERIOUS RELEVANT CHARACTERS WHO ACTUALLY MAKE THE PLOT MOVE FORWARD??

Tekken story plot went down the toilet after Tekken 5 anyway, and the overall chara design tanked big time after Tekken 4 (exception for Dragunov who was truly a novelty I'm always a sucker for mute characters and Lars who's my haafu husbando). My biggest Tekken crush has always been Hwoarang and they made him unrecognizable lately (he was perfect in Tekken 5)

But yeah, Tekken hates women, has become shit, and it bums me out so bad bc that's basically my first video game, and the storyline/lore used to be so good (Tekken 3 had the best plot!!! Heihachi shooting Jin -his own grandson- with a bullet in the head in his ending got 9 years old me SHOOK. Ogre was sooo creepy, his Tekken Tag Tournament 2 ending is legit nightmare fuel)

I mean, even Dead or Alive that is infamous for catering to scrotes has a more attractive male roaster at this point (Hayate <3). They also did a brilliant chara design overhaul for DOA6 that made the characters so much prettier and is actually consistent and done tastefully.

Because yeah, what shocks me the most is how SHITTY Tekken chara design has become. It peaked with Tekken 4 (Jin Kazama tracksuit will forever be iconic dont @ me) but it's now such a convoluted tacky mess. Characters don't even have their own style anymore. Lars has the same tacky outfits as King (who's a luchador!!!). Also : WHY HAS HE BECOME SO BUFF??? Did he take the same steroids as Chris Redfield?? He was so hot in Tekken 6... WASTE!

They should take a few pages from Team Ninja who knows how to make shit done when it comes to rework characters aesthetic. Look at this work of art

#that tiktok vid triggered me so bad i had to unleash my frustration lmao #JUSTICE FOR KUNIMITSU #gaming #papi watch #Tekken #tekken 4 #tekken 3 #tekken tag tournament

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animegeek-101 · 2 years

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Sirius : it's time to end this once and for all Voldemort : why you gotta be so sirius about it? Sirius : well you're quite nosey today aren't ya? Voldemort : ... Death eaters : ... Remus, Harry, Ron, the twins and other Hogwarts students : * laughs * Bellatrix : is these bishes for real' James from heaven : for fvck's sake you're in the middle of a fvcking war!! Voldemort : you all would pay for this AVADA KEDAVRA!! Harry : OMG I'm so scared, bish take the hint I'm ImMuNe to aVadA keDaVrA Voldemort and the death eaters : bish say what? Harry : and now AVADA KEDAVRA! Voldemort dies * everyone is sHoOk * Harry : lastly * goes on one knee * Harry : ginny since the day I met you and the day we started dating I always knew- Ginny : oh harry! Harry : that I was and forever will be gay * turns to Malfoy * draco will you marry me? Malfoy family: ...what? Lucius : I can assure you Pottah that my son would never marry the likes of yo- Draco : Yes! I've been waiting for this day for the past 6 years! Lucius : dear do you mind booking the therapist for tonight? Narcissa : should i bring your emotional support vodka as well? Lucius : and the tequila. Draco : mom dad wtf?!

the end

A/N ; it was meant to be shorter than this but oh well. also i really do suck at tags.

#draco x harry #draco malfoy #drarry #harry potter #harry potter x draco malfoy #the maruaders - peter #sirius #fred and remus live bishes #7th year au #idk

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reen-da-queen · 3 years

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Top 20 Songs of 2020

Hello! I honestly thought about doing this for a long time. I wasn’t going to but said fuck it why not lol. I really just reblog other peoples stuff but thought I would maybe try to post something and do something new. I thought it would be a good way to get back into writing! Idk man this is all just bc I feel like doing it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Disclaimer: I’m new to writing on tumblr, I don’t own any of the gifs, and this post might be a little long so sorry! :)

20. Oh My Girl - Nonstop

Not an Oh My Girl fan but they caught my eye during Queendom/Good Girl

Summer bop

Mimi’s rap is everything

The fits and hair are super cute

19. BTS - UGH!

The moment I heard the gunshot it was game over

THE ENERGY IN THIS SONG

Jhope’s rap was everything to me

Love a good BTS rapline hype song

18. IZ*ONE - AYAYAYA

Iz*one always got that one b-side that goes hard and this is one of them

These girls can literally do any concept from innocent to baddies

Might be an unpopular opinion: loved the 9 version of this song but I liked the choreo as 6 it seemed more cleaner and tighter

17. Taemin- Criminal

This song DESTROYED ME

HE HAD NO REASON to look this good or do that with a silk ribbon

This felt like a classic Taemin song and I was 100% here for it

The song and dancing was truly immaculate

16. Stray Kids (3RACHA) - We Go

Was I the only one who was stuck listening to the fancam audio for a year until they officially released the song? Okay cool just me.....

The beat and rapping goes way to hard...honestly are we really surprised

The performance of this song just made me like the song more

15. Everglow - La Di Da

EVERGLOW FOREVER LETS GO

My favorite comeback by them

Reminded me a lot of blinding lights by the weekend

Voguing Queens

14. Itzy - Not Shy

NOT SHY NOT ME IITTZZAAAY

Wannabe was a strong contender but I overplayed that song..oops

Izty’s fits are usually bomb but the outfits this era were tragic I was not a fan

13. Twice - Can’t Stop Me

These girls deadass came out of a lotus idk what else I need to say

12. Hyolyn - Say My Name

Another summer bop loved the Caribbean vibes

I loved the choreography which was choreographed by none other than Aliya Janell a Queen herself

I DIED when I saw Mommy Son trying to do the choreo in the mv but tbh that’s how I would look doing it.....

11. Taemin - Idea

I was shook by the beat drop in this song bc it was something I wasn’t expecting

BoA singing “Killing me softly”

Taemin in a crop top?!?

Criminal was a classic Taemin song but something about this song made me like it more

10. Kang Daniel ft. Simon Dominic, Jamie - Wave

JAMIE y’all JAIME wtf she bodied this song

I’m honestly shocked Daniel went for a vibe like this...I’ve never really listened to his music but I didn’t expect this...v impressed

The backup dancers dancing in the water is truly immaculate...I really wanted a dance practice because I wanted to see the choreo in full

Jamie and Daniel’s soothing voices went well with Simon Dominic’s unique rapping tone

9. BlackPink ft. Selena Gomez - Ice Cream

Selena Gomez fit really well with this song and was really impressed with her

BP has such a strong image I forgot they can also rock a cute concept

Lisa’s rapping in this song hit different...it really changed up the vibe of the song

8. ChungHa - Stay Tonight

Miss Chungha had many bops this year but this one was THE ONE

MEN IN HEELS sign me up

Another voguing queen

THE LOOKS IN THIS SONG

Really such an elegant queen

7. Stray Kids - Gods Menu

You know they didn’t come to play bc Changbin started the song

LOOKIN LIKE A CHEF IM A 5 STAR MICHELIN....ummmmm OKAY FELIX

One of their best comebacks, best styling, best hair, best everything really

Hyunjin’s hair....*chef’s kisses*

6. Yunhway - One More Night

One of the best songs to come out of Good Girl

Talented singer/rapper

Going out with my girls type of vibe

5. BlackPink - Pretty Savage

This song makes me feel like a baddie

BORN SKINNY BITCH.....WE SOME BITCHES YOU CAN’T MANAGE

Lisa came for my life in the performances she made me think for a second that she can become my bias

She made me falter for A SECOND BUT I’m a loyal hoe and Rose is my queen

4. Jessi - Nunu Nana

Jessi and Lee Hyori were such a vibe in the song

Her twerking and dancing gave me life

GEURRRAESEO NAN NUNNUNANNA

3. Kai - Mmmh

Kai’s backup dancers.....do I need to say anything else

Body roll for days

Kai in a crop top......men need to wear more crop tops

I’m a hoe for R&B

2. WayV - Love Talk

First of all this song is in all english?!?!

Love the R&B vibes

Played this song nonstop

1. Jay Park, pH-1, Sik-k, Big Naughty, Trade L, HAON, Woodie GoChild - How We Rock

Love the hook of this song

Woodie going BITCH IM PAPI

It’s Big Naughty and Trade L only being 17 and 18 for me

They are all super talented rappers love them

If you guys are wondering what I mean about getting back into writing or want to see a more detailed post on my Top 20 you can check out my friends and I’s K-pop blog :https://wordpress.com/view/quintkpop.wordpress.com! We started writing on it a year back. We ended up going on a longish hiatus BUT we both want to get back into writing and will try to post atleast once a week. My friend has a more professional type writing style with his post while my post are more of a nonchalant, casual. We are still trying to figure things out but if y’all interested you can check it out.

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cloveroctobers · 3 years

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CRANES IN THE SKY | C. Jackson

Requested: Nope! I saw a fluff prompt that sounded great for Chris so this is what I came up with! Prompt — “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

WARNINGS: mentions of mental illness, sadness, depression, and “curse words”

YOU were going through it. Life was just becoming a lot for your teenage self and it seemed like this week would never end. It partly felt like everyone was out to get you but you were really just having a bad week and in the back of your mind, you hoped that the next would be better...yet you didn’t even want to think that far ahead. As of a few hours ago you were allowing your self to sit in your funk of your Crenshaw home until Chris barged in making himself at home.

Working in retail felt emotionally and mentally abusive but hey, you needed money to get by right? You were tempted to quit after a month of being there but your mother persuaded you to toughen it out and not let them get to you. ‘Or maybe it was easier for her to say so, so that you wouldn’t be coming to her as much for some cash.’ You bitterly thought.

On top of that, you were getting hours in over time since there were three situations going on with your co-workers. One: was fired due to stealing money from the safe in the stock room, since one of the assistant managers didn’t fully close it, two: got arrested for god knows what— you didn’t care for the drama but it was common knowledge Julio’s ass was gone, and third: got injured on the job and would be out for 6 months. So the work load fell on the remaining three. Only 6 employees in retail...make it make sense. Not only that the customers were more whiny and quick to point the finger than usual and it takes a lot for you to step out of character! but you did.

You had it. So you went into a screaming match, which wasn’t expected of you but it happened. The store manager did not have your back and blamed you in front of the customer since, “the customer is always right,” motto was heavily encouraged and a part of you HOPED he was just doing that for show and would apologize later but nope! He stood by wtf he said and put you on punishment when it was clear that the customer was not right.

So instead of sending you home and keeping you away from the place? He decided to give you more hours as if you’re the only one working there + kept you off the register so you could only interact with those on the floor. If he expected you to come in for five days straight while being a high school student? He was out of his damn mind. So you called out the three of the five days you were supposed to be there and didn’t care for his guilt trips. You deserved better and didn’t need to deal with this bs for only $11.11 an hour. You hoped he fired you.

Since you were working so much prior to the screaming match with that aggy customer, you were falling behind on your studies. Those pop quizzes came back as c+ to c- and your exams? Even lower. You were turning in homework half assed or not turning it in at all and normally you were a decent student with a B average. You weren’t overly thrilled about school but you did your best and did just fine at that.

You never saw yourself as someone who would go to college. Your mom or your step-dad didnt go and it was expected that you wouldn’t because of your background. Wasn’t that a shame? Crenshaw high could do a lot better at getting kids prepared for bettering their futures but they just wouldn’t put the time in to kids that wanted it or could accomplish it if they just had the right guidance.

It was really depressing and it was all starting to sink in at the end of your junior year of high school. You couldn’t just give up but you were having one of those days and wanted to be left alone. Which was partly what you had in your condominium complex with your step-sibs staying behind to attend after school activities with you having to pick them up from the bus stop by 5:15, your mother was working the night shift as a waitress, and your step-dad was away on “business.”

The quiet was interrupted by Chris making his way into your living room with you all curled up. He took one look at you and shook his head, “Nuh-uh, get up ya ass up, girl. You’ve been like this for what? Days now?”

Giving him the side eye, you rolled your body on the couch to put your back to him as you went to bury your head into the open s peace between the couch and cushion. “If you came here to start with me, you can leave the same way you came in.”

You were used to Chris getting into your house. You did lock your doors around here but Chris was surprisingly good at getting through things which related a lot to his life I guess you could say. The guy overcame a lot especially learning how to walk again after almost being paralyzed. You and Chris grew up together, and were actually friends first before Spencer, Coop, and Shawn came into the picture. Your mother’s were the best of friends and got pregnant around the same time, with Chris being only a few months older than you, which he likes to rub in to get on your nerves.

“And you can keep that stank ass attitude to yourself, get up mama this ain’t no way to be.” You could feel the weight of Chris sitting on the couch behind you.

He was now poking you, probably trying to find your ticklish spot but if you start swinging then you’re the bad guy right?

Chris knew you like the back of his hand and vice versa. He knew all about how your week was going and how you’ve been skipping class to do whatever it is that you do, since you did have one class together.

“Alright look, when I was away—

He always considered his recovery as, “away,” almost as if it pained him to say that, which you understood by all means, but Chris could just call it what it was. He was strong, he made it through but you noticed in the way he played now was more cautious. He was in his head which was common with sports injuries apparently. You noticed with Spencer he would normally react after the stress of the game or something that brought on the stress. He also probably thought you had no clue what was going on with him, but he was also one of your besties so of course you knew. You just never said anything.

Now it was you who was going through a little something and needed someone to bring you out of it, whether you said it or not. And here Chris was. As always.

“You know I was a completely different person—

“Yeah, you were a fresh asshole.” You commented, remembering those moments quite clearly since it was you and Olivia who tried to be there. He only seemed to let you be there, especially after he broke up with Olivia over text. Which you laid into his ass about.

Which made Chris breathe out a laugh pressing his elbows into his knees, “you’re not wrong. And I’m forever sorry about that but you knew I was going through some dark shit. And I can see you’re partly there but you don’t need to sit in it.”

“Okay, Iyanla. What would you like for me to do?” You asked twisting your body to the side to finally look at the mocha skinned boy.

Chris smiled with his pretty teeth, “maybe take a shower? ‘Cause this bum energy I’m getting from you right now is not cute and I know underneath all that, you’re not half bad.”

A foot went out to kick him pretty hard but he tried and failed to doge it with a laugh. “Nah. But for real though, you got to find something that’s gonna keep you sane. Find something even if it’s not permanent that’ll keep your mind active and out of the dark, cause once you completely slip into it, it’s hard to get out of. Trust me.”

You knew Chris was on anti-depressants for a little while and how he called you flipping out that his mother even agreed that it would be a good idea. In the black community it was not a common thing to speak about your mental health, it was non-existent and you were expected to “get over it,” to not think like that because we are made to be tougher than what we are and it shouldn’t be like that. We should be able to feel our emotions and admit when something is troubling us.

And Chris’ mother thought that was what was best for her son. And you saw how vile of a person Chris became when he thought everything was over for him. That was not the Chris Jackson you knew, he was headstrong, compassionate when he wanted to be, and ambitious. So to see him like that was hard.

So here he was for you even though your emotions right now probably wasn’t that deep but again, you were trying to be more in touch with your emotions. Both of the adults in your life were slightly cold so it rubbed off on you a little bit of course, until it was brought out of you. Your father was the most loving and as a kid you used to be that way, with a warm prescence and a belly full of laughter. Now you were full of small smiles and cold stares.

However your main friends: Chris, Spencer, Coop, and even Shawn know/knew who you are even if you’re different now.

You don’t know how long you sat in silence but once Chris started to annoyingly snap his fingers in front of your face, You snapped out of it and smacked his hand down; slowly you sat up on your uncomfortable couch and took a deep inhale.

Then you moved through the cramped apartment to your bedroom and bathroom grabbing a few things. When you came back Chris was also entering from the kitchen with two plastic cups, eyeing the items in your hand. “What’s going on with that?”

You plopped the large pillow in front of the couch, held your hand out for the cup which Chris handed over, and you took a large gulp to taste cran-peach. Chris moved to place his own cup on the coaster and went over to the window to crank up the A/C before he glanced back over at you still awaiting a answer.

“You’re telling me to find my peace? I’ve always wanted to be a stylist, so I’m going to perfect my craft.” You answered sitting on the couch with a crack of your neck.

Chris thought this over and blew out a raspberry. Then he moved to sit in between your legs on the floor, “Alright, y/n. I’ll be your first client. But I’m tellin’ you right now if you braid too tight where my edges look eaten, I’m out the door.”

A smile graced your lips as Chris grabbed his cup and remote to turn the tv on, “so what we watching to keep me entertained?”

Shrugging your shoulders you held the rat tail comb in your hand while using the other to run your fingers through Chris’ coarse hair that he was deciding to grow out. Chris got himself comfortable resting against your legs as you decided which side of the head you wanted to start on first before you began parting and sectioning off his hair.

You were going to give him some cornrows so you had to make sure everything was even and not look crazy. You were decent at braiding, you often did your step-sis’ hair since your mother no longer had time to do it and she sure did have a lot of hair. It gave you some sense of satisfaction, you taking on the older sibling role and gave you the time to bond.

Chris finally found something after twenty minutes and was yelling at the tv which made you mess up the grip on the fourth row. “If you don’t stop moving and let me braid your hair...hold your head right or I’m gonna pop you!” You threatened.

“This is triggering me back to my aunties, specifically aunt Henrietta’s ol’ mean ass.” Chris mumbled the last bit as he flinched making you laugh a little bit, remembering the name and the picture of the woman with the large mole on her pointy chin.

She lived in Maryland and had a beauty salon that Chris’ mom would always take a trip down there to get their hair done, if they had a special event to go to. It didn’t make sense to you or your mother since there were a few good shops here in Crenshaw or rather—girls and boys that did hair out of their homes around but Mrs. Jackson wanted to support her great aunt so by all means...

You gripped his hair again tight but not too tight to begin the braid, “I’m gonna add beads so everyone around school can call you hurricane chris.”

“...that’s real foul. You’re about to make me not support your dreams anymore, I’m dead serious.” Chris replied making you laugh, which made him smile at the sound.

You briefly glanced up to watch a scene on whatever show or film Chris was watching and raised your eyebrow not knowing what was going on or who these characters were but it was definitely engaging.

Chris nudged your knee with his shoulder after you fell silent again, “feel better?” He asked, moving AGAIN to meet your eyes.

“yeah, a little. Thanks.” You scrunched up your nose and stuck your tongue at him.

After awhile your alarm went off letting you know it was time for you to leave and get ready to get the kiddos. As you both got up, Chris went to the mirror to check out your handiwork while you snapped a few pictures before making your way to the door, taking the keys from the side table as you went.

“Y/N...you said would make me look good.”

“Uh huh?”

“Then tell me why...the hell you got me looking like ODB?” Chris’ deep set brows held a deep frown on them as he glanced at his childhood friend who innocently peered back at him.

You shrugged as you threw the door open, “i never said I’d be the best hair stylist out there, plus you wouldnt stop moving your big ass head. I told you to sit still! And did you listen? Noooooo.”

Chris licked his lips looking down as he folded his hands together before his eyes flicked up, “ok. I’m on your ass!”

You yelped as dashed out the door, laughter in your lungs as Chris chased you down the narrow hallway, hot on your trail.

#all american #all american x reader #chris jackson #Spencer Moore ii #Chris Jackson x reader #Chris x Olivia #spencer james #tamia cooper #all american cw

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sammysreelreviews · 5 years

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Counting Down The 10 Most Shocking Moments From My Favorite TV Shows

So I just finished Jane the Virgin and it inspired me to make a list of moments in television that had me fucking SHOOK. Maybe some other things happened in the show that were just as crazy but these are the moments that affected me personally. This list was so spontaneous but it might be my favorite one cause it was a nice trip down memory lane. Any who, here are the moments that have fucked me up along the years!

WARNING: LOTS AND LOTS OF SPOILERS!!!

10. Gossip Girl: The Dark Prince

Let’s be clear Gossip Girl stopped being the show it was by season 4 by adding insane story lines but one that was realistic was Queen B marrying a real life prince! Although there are some minor hiccups Blair finally has the dream wedding she always wanted. Unfortunately everything comes crashing down when Louis basically tells her that she means nothing to him and the marriage is now just for show. This SHOOK me cause Louis was such a good guy until that exact moment. Ugh the moment he whispered those vile words to Blair her heart dropped and so did mine.

9. Elite: So who’s actually dead?

From the beginning it was clear that one of the promiscuous teens of Elite was going to die it’s just not who you’d expect! In the first episode you find out that it’s none other than Marina! She was such a big part in the first episode I didn’t think her character would be the one to kick the bucket. Yes I am aware that the real mystery of the show is who’s the murderer but Marina being dead threw me for a loop.

8. On My Block: The Quinceañera from Hell.

On My Block is supposed to be funny and it was until the last fucking episode of season one. Ruby decides to throw his crush Olivia a Quinceañera and everything goes smoothly, she even gets to face time her parents that got deported, until Cesar’s past comes to crash the party. Let me explain. Cesar finally joined his brother’s gang and had the job of executing Latrelle who’s from an opposing gang. Cesar is too sweet for his own good and lets him live. Unfortunately Latrelle shows up to Olivia’s Quinceañera, uninvited, and fires at Cesar but hits Ruby and Olivia in the process. In the end of the episode two ambulances are on their way to the hospital and ones lights go off indicating one of them has died. At the beginning of season two we finally find out that Olivia has passed which is sad and like talk about the worst birthday party ever!

7. Pretty Little Liars: Boo!

There were literally 100 different A’s on this god forsaken show but the final A reveal was definitely the best. Spencer and Ezra have been kidnapped by A in a weird underground whatever thing and Spencer wakes up to her reflection only it’s not her reflection ITS HER TWIN. The elite PLL fans like myself always had theories of Spencer having a twin but when it actually happened I couldn’t believe my eyes. When Alex puts her hand down and says “boo!”... chills literal fucking chills.

6. Vampire Diaries: Dead girls walking.

I could honestly make a list of the top ten shocking moments from the Vampire Diaries alone but this one had 15 year old me shaking in my Ugg boots. Jeremy’s first love Vicki died in season one, which was like WILD for 2009 let me tell you, and his other lover Anna also died. In the season two finale we see two shadows walking around following Jeremy in his house and they’re none other than Vicki and Anna looking straight at Jeremy and even speaking to him. At this point in the show people coming back from the dead was unheard of and this is why it beat everything else.

5. Dark: What REALLY happened that night?

Ok so Dark has a lot of WTF moments like the entire show is a total mindfuck but in season 2 they answered a question and I was not prepared for the answer. Let’s back track realllll quick. Mikkel goes missing in the woods one night and no one finds him BUT Mikkel is alive and well he’s just in the year 1986! In the cave he went through there was a wormhole that took him to the past but the question was, how the fuck did he even end up there!? In the last episode of season two Jonas, Mikkel’s son (I know it’s confusing) goes back in time to stop Mikkel from disappearing to make everything right. Jonas talks to his dad, adult Mikkel, and Mikkel drops the bomb that Jonas was the one to lead him to the fucking wormhole in the first place!!! Everything about this show is absolutely insane but I mean this shit was INSANE. I literally could not believe what I was hearing and honestly neither could Jonas.

4. Jane the Virgin: Have a nice day bae!

Michael begins his day going to take a test and he doesn’t come back. I am so team Michael just so y’all know so I loved the flashbacks of the fair with Jane this episode. What I DIDN’T like was the end of this episode. When Michael “died” I dead ass did not watch the rest of season 3 until it was streaming on Netflix. I sobbed so bad and then at the end of the episode when Jane gets the phone call that Michaels “dead” WOW that shit HURT. Thankfully I decided to keep watching the show cause at the season 4 finale Michael is alive and well but has a little amnesia. I literally will never forgive the writers for ripping my heart out and stomping on it.

3. American Horror Story: Running in circles.

Violet tried to kill herself and Tate saves her by making her throw up except, she didn’t actually survive. Violet is depressed and stays home and it’s not until she tries to leave the house do you realize she’s actually been dead for a couple episodes. Its heartbreaking cause she’ll be stuck in that house forever but the moment you see her dead corpse was absolutely disgusting and heartbreaking at the same time.

2. Skins: Where’s Cook’s main hoe?

When Skins came back for a 7th season wrapping up the lives of Effy, Cassie, and Cook I thought we were gonna get some closure but what I got from Cook’s episodes was very unexpected. There’s honestly a lot going on in Skins Rise but Cook’s second episode has him facing off his psychotic boss Louie. Let me give a little backstory. Cook deals drugs for Louie but Louie made Cook drive his girlfriend Charlie around. Cook being Cook fucks Charlie while simultaneously cheating on his own girlfriend Emma which makes it super awkward when the three of them runaway together to get away from a psychotic Louie. Before Cook absolutely beats the shit out of Louie he’s in the woods looking for Emma and he fucking finds her in a clearing HANGING on a tree!!! Like WHAT THE FUCK!!! Skins has never been THAT brutal and I honestly think it was the most jaw dropping moment that ever happened on the show. God I love Skins but I did NOT love that death like can my baby Cook just be happy!?!

1. Degrassi: The Next Generation: A night to forget.

I was 13 the first time I got my heart broken, the perpetrator, Degrassi: The Next Generation. I was OBSESSED with this show I watched it from the very beginning. JT was my literal MAN like I loved him so much and when they CRUELLY killed him off I legit didn’t want to go to school the following Monday. JT dying is number one because it was my first big TV death and I’ll never forget it along with Liberty’s blood curdling screams.

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ironwoman359 · 6 years

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A Sanders Carol Chapter Nine

A Sanders Carol Masterlist

Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3, Ch.4, Ch.5, Ch.6, Ch.7, Ch.8, Ch.9, Epilogue

Summary: Dr. Logan Sanders is perfectly satisfied with his life, thank you very much. He has his work, he has his position. His bills are paid, and his lifestyle is primed for optimum health. And he is far too busy maintaining his perfectly balanced lifestyle to worry about things like Christmas, much to the dismay of his few remaining friends. Hardened by years of working to get ahead in his field, nothing is capable of swaying his cold heart, not even the dire straits of his graduate assistant or the pleas of his closest friends.He also does not believe in ghosts.So when he suddenly finds the ghost of his old mentor in his apartment warning him of three more spirits to come, what will he choose to believe? Will Logan take the spirits’ words to heart in time to change his ways, or will the fate of his future be sealed forever?

Pairings: Platonic LAMP/T, Platonic Logicality (could be read as pre-romantic)

Warnings (for the whole fic): Death mention, illness, hospitals, allusions of child abuse/neglect, ghosts, lying/deception, Deceit character, crying, angst, please let me know if I need to add anything!

Chapter Word Count: 2,331

Logan lifted his head just in time to see the ghost’s cloak wrap around him, obscuring what little vision he had in the spirit’s void. He closed his eyes on instinct, and when he opened them again, he was on his hands and knees in his living room, with sunlight streaming through his window.

Logan froze for a moment, then clambered to his feet, rushing forward to the window and flinging it open. A blast of cold air hit his face, and he squinted against the brilliant glare of sunlight reflecting off of freshly fallen snow.

Logan breathed in deep and relished in the cold that stung his skin and the light that stung his eyes. A horrible thought struck him, and he scrambled to find his phone, but as he pulled it from his pocket and lifted it up, relief swept over him. It was eight in the morning, on precisely the day it should be. A notification caught his eye, and he opened his messenger app to see the slew of texts from Virgil that he had ignored so foolishly.

patton told me what happened today

c’mon man, i just wanna talk to you

you can’t ignore me forever, logan

Logan quickly typed out a reply, not bothering to review it before sending like he usually did.

Virge...Oh my god, Virge, I am so sorry. God, I’ve been so stupid. I can’t...I don’t even know how to...GOD Virgil, I’m SO sorry.

Logan hit send, then dropped his phone on his couch, his head spinning.

"The party," he whispered to himself, then his eyes widened. "The party! The party is today!"

Logan turned and rushed into his bedroom to put on fresh clothes. He was about to put on one of his usual dress shirts when he saw the lumpy package from Thomas he had discarded earlier that week in the back of the closet. He pulled it out and tore the paper off, revealing a sweater with a carefully knit test tube wearing a scarf and (somehow) holding a songbook on the front. Beneath the cartoonish figure were the words “Oh Chemistree, Oh Chemistree” bookended by music notes.

Logan rolled his eyes at the pun, but he couldn’t stop the fond smile that grew on his face as he slid the sweater over his head. He grabbed his comb from the nightstand and ran it through his hair before hurrying back out into the living room. He picked up his phone, and grinned when he saw Virgil had replied.

omg...logan?

woah, ok, i wasn’t...wtf dude are you feeling ok?

Logan laughed as he sent his reply, grabbing his hat and coat as he did so and searching around the apartment for his shoes.

Yes Virgil, I am quite well. Better than I have been in a long time, in fact. I can see why you might think otherwise, but that is all the more reason I have to be sorry.

Logan found his shoes and quickly pulled them on, then all but ran out the door. He hurried down the stairs of his building, not bothering to wait on the elevator, and only slowed when he reached the snow covered steps outside.

As quickly as he could manage in the snow, Logan got into his car and drove through the streets he had hovered over the night before. Everything looked so different in the daylight, so much clearer and sharper, and Logan relished every second of it.

Soon, he found himself at his destination, and he all but tripped hurrying up the steps of the modest house that Logan hadn’t been to in so long...at least, not physically. He knocked on the door, and only after he did so did a hint of apprehension crawl its way into his chest.

What if he was being foolish? What if it was too late, and he had already had enough of him? He wouldn’t blame him, he deserved whatever rejection he was liable to get, but he had to see him at least one more time, had to apologize.

Any remaining doubt evaporated the moment Patton opened the door, his auburn curls a mess and a holiday apron tied around his waist.

“Logan!” he exclaimed, his voice full of shock, confusion, but most of all delight.

Logan threw caution to the wind and surged forward, wrapping the surprised man in hug, burying his face in the slightly shorter man’s shoulder. Patton only stood frozen for a moment before he returned the hug, his grip almost as desperate as Logan's own.

Logan let out a shuddering gasp as he realized just how long it had been since he’d had a real hug from anyone, let alone from Patton. Patton’s hugs were warm and safe and all-encompassing, practically impossible not to feel at home in.

“Logan?” Patton asked, pulling back slightly and staring up into Logan’s eyes. “Lo honey, what’s wrong?”

Only then did Logan realize he was crying, and he shook his head, unable to speak. He pulled Patton close again, and would have liked to stay there in that moment for the rest of time, if Patton hadn’t pulled him away from the front door.

“Lo, honey, you’re shaking. Let’s get you inside and get this door closed, okay?”

Logan laughed wetly and nodded, allowing Patton to drag him indoors and help him take off his snow covered shoes. Patton gasped when Logan removed his coat, revealing the handmade sweater underneath.

“Lo?”

Logan turned and faced Patton, and he wanted to say the perfect thing to express just how sorry he truly was, how much he regretted everything he’d said, everything he’d done, but when he saw Patton’s blue eyes wide and full of awe and hope and maybe a few tears of their own, he found he couldn’t properly form sentences.

“Patton...Patton, God I’m so sorry,” he gasped, then the words were tumbling out faster than he could even process. “You were right, oh my God Patton, you were right about everything; you were right about Marley, you were right about me, you were right about Christmas, and oh God I messed everything up Patton, I nearly ruined everything and I understand if you hate me I really do I just needed to tell you, needed you to know how sorry I am, I’m so sorry, I was stupid, I—”

“Shhh…” Patton soothed as he pulled Logan into another hug. “Hush now, Lo-Lo, it’s alright...everything’s alright now.” He kept murmuring gentle, careful words as he guided Logan to the couch.

Patton sat beside him, and once Logan could bring himself to meet his eyes, he saw they were shining...with tears, yes, but something else too. Something that Logan sometimes had trouble putting words to or understanding, but something that he knew nonetheless was very real.

“I mean it,” he whispered, his voice raw. “I’m really, really sorry.”

Patton smiled at him, and nodded.

“I know Lo...I’m s-sorry too, I—”

“No,” Logan interrupted, reaching for Patton’s hand and squeezing it. “You have nothing to apologize for, none of this was your fault. I know you’ve heard that before, and I know you don’t believe it, but it’s true. It was all me, Pat, and I know I can never make up for it, but—”

“You don’t have to,” Patton whispered, cutting him off. He reached and took Logan’s other hand. “You’re here now. That’s enough.”

"I...I came for the party," Logan muttered, wiping his eyes. "I didn't want...I've missed too many of them, I couldn't miss another."

Patton raised an eyebrow, and his smile took on a teasing nature.

"Well...I'm happy to hear that Lo, but...it's not even nine am yet. The party isn't until two."

Logan laughed, his heart lighter than it had been in ages.

"Well, I didn't want to be late."

Patton giggled, but his attention was stolen by his phone ringing on the side table next to them.

"Oh! It's Thomas, hang on," Patton said as he answered it, and Logan suddenly felt nervous. "Hi Thomas! You won't believe who's here with—what? Oh, yeah! Yeah, that's what I was trying to say...he's here right now! Yeah! He came over like, ten minutes ago." Patton looked over at Logan and grinned. "He seems just perfect to me. Okay, sure, see you soon. Bye!" He hung up, and smiled again at Logan.

"Thomas is on his way! He'll be here any minute. Hey...hey, what is it, Logan?" he asked as Logan put his head in his hands.

"I just...I hope he can forgive me," he muttered.

"Aww, Lo," Patton crooned, pulling Logan into another hug. "It'll be okay, I promise."

The two of them stayed like that until another knock sounded at the door. Patton gave Logan a reassuring smile, then got up to answer it. Logan shuffled uncomfortably, then stood and took a deep breath. Whatever happened, at least he'd be able to apologize.

"Hi Thomas!" Patton said cheerfully, stepping aside to let a bewildered looking Thomas enter the living room.

The two cousins found themselves face to face, and Logan did his best to keep his voice steady and maintain eye contact.

“Hello, Thomas...Merry Christmas. I believe that an explanation is in order for my—OOF!” The wind was knocked out of Logan as Thomas crushed him in an unexpected hug.

“Virgil called and told me what you said, but I didn’t think...I didn’t realize you'd come here!” Thomas cried.

“I’m...I’m sorry, Thomas, I understand if you’re upset, but I simply wanted to—”

“Upset?” Thomas interrupted, pulling out of the hug with a stupid grin on his face. “Logan, I...I’m thrilled you’re here!”

Logan smiled back shyly.

“So am I,” he whispered, and Thomas pulled him close again.

Logan lost himself in the embrace, never wanting it to end.

As it turned out, he didn’t have to worry much on that front, as later when Roman and Virgil arrived, they were equally willing to reciprocate when he hesitantly offered them a hug and an apology. Roman’s arms were as strong as Virgil’s were gentle, and again Logan marveled at the fact that it had been so long since he’d allowed himself feel this warm.

"I don't get it," Roman said as the five of them worked together to prepare for the rest of Patton's guests. "Why this sudden change of heart? Just yesterday you were slamming emotional (and physical) doors—Ow! Virgil, don't kick me—and today you're down for the holiday spirit? Ow! Virgil!" Roman swatted at Virgil who was shooting him a death glare.

Logan laughed at their antics, which seemed to surprise both of them, then he paused. How much should he say? How to deliver the truth without making them think he'd lost his mind...

"Logan?" Virgil asked, and Logan smiled up at them.

"Last night...I did a lot of thinking," he said. "I honestly don't know how it happened, but I started thinking about everything that happened...about us in general, and about Christmas, and...I don't know." He shrugged. "I just realized that...that I've been wrong. This whole time. Horribly wrong, and it nearly destroyed everything that I care about, I..." Logan took a deep breath, feeling tears beginning to pool again in his eyes. "I just...saw how close I'd come to losing all of you, and I couldn't bear that. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He screwed his eyes shut, feeling a hot wave of shame come over him, but before he could even properly register it a strong pair of arms was wrapping around him, then another and another, and then all five of them ended up on the ground as the attempt at a massive group hug ended up causing them all to lose their balance.

Logan laughed, and buried his face in the crook of someone's elbow.

They would be okay.

Later, the rest of Patton’s guests arrived, and Logan found himself smiling and laughing, making conversation with people he once had called friends but had pushed away years ago.

“I didn’t know you were coming this year!” Larry Fezziwig had cried after warmly shaking Logan’s hand, and Logan had to laugh.

“Honestly Mr. Fezzi—Larry, neither did I.”

It was a little bit awkward, but Logan found he didn’t mind so much when he was surrounded by people that he cared about so much...and that he knew cared about him. The living room was light and warm and full of the same joy that had been present in his visions, but the visions paled in comparison to how real this was, how tangible the feeling was inside him. When it came time for the white elephant gift exchange and Logan sheepishly admitted that he hadn’t brought any gift, Patton pulled him to his feet and engulfed him in another hug.

“You’re my best friend, Lo-Lo,” Patton whispered as warmth spread throughout Logan’s whole being. “That’s all the present I need.”

A chorus of awww’s rang out through the room, and Roman and Virgil started an argument about whether or not that meant Logan could have a bow placed on his head and sent home with somebody. Logan laughed along with the others, and even allowed Roman to stick a gold bow in his hair, though he opted to just sit out and watch the rest of the guests participate in the gift exchange.

By the time the last of the goodbyes were said and it was the original five friends alone in the house again, Logan felt fuller than he could ever remember feeling...but there was still one thing he wanted to do.

“Hey, Virge?” he called to the emo, who was in the kitchen with Patton washing empty cocoa mugs. “Can you call Ari and have her make sure there are a dozen screamers ready for me?”

Virgil raised an eyebrow, but nodded.

“Sure, I guess I can do that. Why though?”

Logan took a deep breath, then looked around at his friends.

“There’s someone I’d like you all to meet.”

[Previous Chapter] [Epilogue]

#ts-storytime 2018 submissions #ts-storytime #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #ts fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #a sanders carol

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alia15 · 6 years

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I Love Me.

A Short Story:

Two bridesmaids in their late 20s gather around a mirror in a fancy bridal suite. They have just gotten their hair and makeup done by professionals.

Bridesmaid 1: “I need to just wear fake eyelashes all the time. I literally don’t have eyelashes. They are non-existent.”

Bridesmaid 2: “Tell me about it. Ugh, I hate this lip color on me; it’s drawing too much attention to my pencil-thin lips. I need lip injections. How much do those cost?”

A third bridesmaid enters the room and lets out a heavy sigh while looking in the mirror.

Bridesmaids 1 & 2, in unison: “OHMYGOD, you look gorgeous!”

Bridesmaid 3: *scoffs* “Um, OK, I literally look 6 months pregnant. This dress is NOT flattering on me and is really highlighting my flabby stomach.”

Bridesmaid 2: “At least you have boobs to fill this thing out; I have the tits of a 9 year old girl.”

Everyone laughs. At that moment, Bridesmaid 4 walks in the room and catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and smiles.

Bridesmaid 3: “Aww, you look so good!”

Bridesmaid 4: “Thanks! I actually feel really pretty. I LOVE my hair like this!”

Bridesmaids 1, 2 and 3 are perplexed. Shook. Kind of even repulsed to be honest? Hearing a woman speak highly of herself just...does not compute.

Bridesmaid 1, under her breath: “Full of ourselves much...”

This ain’t right. But sadly, it’s reality. As a society, seeing women being self-loathing and self-deprecating is acceptable; welcomed, even. Listening to a woman berate herself might bother us and we might not agree with what they’re saying, but we are OK with them saying it. Why? Because WE say it. We talk about our flaws -- in our appearance AND personality -- but wouldn't dream of doing the opposite.

But I don’t think it’s a matter of women not loving things about themselves. Rather, it’s about the stigma attached to announcing it. We’re comfortable talking about our cellulite, our big foreheads and bad skin, but wouldn’t DARE say we think we have pretty amazing arms.

YES GURL.

So, I got an idea. I reached out to a few of my favorite female bloggers and posed a challenge: tell me what you love about yourself. Don’t hold back, don’t use negative terminology, don’t downplay. Don’t think in order to say something nice, you need to also say something negative (no “My nose is crooked but I still like it!”). THIS ISN’T AN EASY EXERCISE, but we doin’ the damn thing.

It’s important.

I now present you, 6 beautiful, intelligent & amazing women -- and what they love about themselves.

Who: Stephanie, from the blog Life According to Steph

I am fierce with myself and allow myself to be who I am, warts and all. I know my strengths, I’m not afraid to acknowledge my weaknesses, and I’m not interested in perfection.

I encourage and empower others, especially women. There’s room for all of us to shine.

I do what makes me happy, not what society tells me I should do.

I am an excellent nail painter (my own, not yours).

I work hard at being a good and contributing member of my community.

Who: Emma, from the blog Emma’s Thing

I love that I have no filter. I think life is too short to not speak your truth, tell it like it is, ask awkward questions, or tell someone they have a booger in their nose. I love that I'm upfront and let almost whatever's in my head come out of my mouth. Sure, it's caused some heartache but it also makes life interesting IMO.

I love my facial skin. I get compliments on it all the time and, even when I'm having a bad week with random acne or some weird, non-descript rash, I know I still have it very good. I thank my mom for the good genes.

I love my hair! It took me forever to love it, truly. My hair is very very curly naturally and, for years, I had no idea how TF to handle it. But once I figured it out, I finally learned to love it. At this point, IDK how I would fare if my hair suddenly changed on me. I wouldn't know WTF to do. I also love that its natural curl lends itself to not having to be washed very often, and I can wear it in crazy, messy ways without being questioned.

I love that I'm good at so many things. I can get sheepish about the fact that I can write, act, dance, sing, do comedy, have a good photography eye, etc. I'm not sure why — probably because it feels like bragging and showing off. But the fact of the matter is, yah girl has talent! I'm a Jill of all trades, if you will.

Who: Christine, from the blog Simply Stine

I am a giver and I always have been. Nothing makes me happier in life than doing random acts of kindness for others. I am in a position where I'm able to bring joy to other people and nothing makes me happier. It could be sending random packages in the mail to friends and family or sending flowers out of the blue. Doing things for other people is just something I've always done and loved doing.

I love my eyes. They're this beautiful blue and they just pop in the right lighting. I've always loved them.

I love that people come to me for all kinds of advice and support. I love listening and helping people, no matter what the situation involves. I want my friends and family to know that I'm always there for them and I'm always willing to sit down and listen to them. I think we all need that person in our life that we can go to, right?!?

I love that I'm finally happy with myself as a person. It took me a long time to understand that being "different" isn't a bad thing and that it's so much more of a positive than I ever realized. I am ok with being me and everything that comes along with accepting myself. Why did it take me over 30 years to realize this?!?

I'm a full-time Blogger and I love it. People don't always understand what it is that I do, but it's the best job. It's hard as hell some days and it isn't always fair, but it's so rewarding being able to have something that I'm in charge of come together and be a source of positivity and inspiration for others!

Who: Lindsay, from the blog Bourbon & Lipstick

I love my desire help others - be it those less needy, or something as simple as helping another blogger or blog reader.

I love that I don't take bullshit.

I love my big butt.

I love my work ethic and that I consistently strive to do/be better.

I love how I'm not afraid to speak up.

Who: Emelia, from the blog Dream Big & Buy the Shoes

I'm extremely goofy. I make up songs and rhymes and make a lot of weird noises. I enjoy it- my kids laugh and it keeps life interesting. One of my favorite things I say every day at some point...to my daughter is "Are you ready? Ready spaghetti? Is my little Betty spaghetti ready?" Not sure where I came up with it- but she smiles, and so do I.

I love my eyes. They're green- but sometimes look hazel, sometimes look grey. I get compliments on my eyes a lot, and it makes me happy because I feel that eyes are an interesting part of a person. Someone's eyes can tell a story- and maybe mine do that for people.

Determination- I have lots of it. I've been through some rough stuff in the past 34 years and I always come out the other side. I'm determined to make sure that my family is taken care of and that we are the happiest we can be so I persevere as much as I can in every situation.

I will do anything for my children. It's hard to be a parent- there's no clear cut instruction manual. There's a lot of judgements and opinions- but you need to figure out the path on your own. I'm extremely proud of the Mom I am to Ethan and Bella. Every day isn't perfect, but we make it the best we can.

I can multi-task and love being productive. I am someone who can not sit down to relax until everything is done- but hell if I can't get it all done in like 20 minutes. I will be sweeping the kitchen floor, starting laundry and loading the dishwasher while entertaining the baby and checking Instagram- HA. But for real, I have always had very busy jobs that require me doing a lot at once and I think that helped me as a person be very productive. Being busy and productive and getting things done is a great personality trait in my opinion- work work work work work!

Who: Allison, from the blog AA (ya know, the one you’re reading right now?)

I have a good eye. Whether I’m putting an outfit together, decorating a room or taking a photo, I love that I just know what looks good. If you see me in action doing any of those aforementioned things (especially photography; my second love after writing), you know I’m serious about it.

I have long, naturally muscular legs. I was born with long legs (thanks mom) which makes me appear taller than my actual 5 feet 4 inch stature, but years of walking in heels is likely responsible for some serious calf definition that I’ve always loved having.

I love my sense of humor and quick wit. It comes across in my writing, but in “real life” it’s there, too. I’ve always said I’d rather be the funniest person in the room instead of the smartest or prettiest, and I stand by that. Humor is SO important to me. AND I’M A FUNNY BITCH.

I’m true to who I am, always. I’ve never adapted, changed or downplayed anything about myself to appeal to or appease anyone else. I stand by my convictions and I’m proud of the woman I am and will stand up for what I believe in any day of the week.

My one dimple. One is better than none, and I have a pretty big one on the left side of my face that enhances my smile and normally causes someone to poke their finger in it when they see it, which sounds weird when I type it. I love that it’s kind of a “trademark” thing I have.

OK ladies (& gents, of course!) -- your turn! Leave what thing(s) you love about yourself in the comments. I’d love to hear!

#love #body positive #positivity #self confidence #self love #confidence #women #beauty #selflove #iloveme #i love me #humor #body image #self-love

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laikenrichelle · 6 years

Note

what advice would you give 18 year old Laiken if you could go back (pertaining to boys, self love, food, life, anything really)

Oooh, damn son. What a good question. Okay. I think I’m going to do some dot points to make it easier

1. Just because you’ve been with someone for years, doesn’t mean it has to be forever. You deserve better. He literally never does any nice random surprises, has NEVER bought you any flowers, thoughtful gifts etc, he never compliments you or makes you feel nice, he isn’t funny and you LOVE funny guys!! He doesn’t even spend time with you anymore ffs. He puts his friends before you even though they screw him around all of the time. You know this is over. Don’t buy a house with this idiot. Plus, his parents are actual annoying as fuck. Imagine spending the rest of your life with this dude, his annoying parents and he spends all his time with his mates while you’re at home alone crying. No. You cannot do this forever. There are other guys out there better for you. Just try it out, see what you find.

2. Don’t invest large sums of money into anything permanent. You have NO idea what you want in life yet, trust me. Your whole life is going to change in approx. 2-3 years. Just wait.

3. Stop eating so much processed shit. Cup-A-Soup isn’t a meal, wtf.

4. You say you don’t want to travel... boy are you wrong hahaha.

5. Stop being such a tight ass!! Spend some money!! Buy that damn outfit, go away for the weekend, as I said before, TRAVELLLL. Treat yo self. You don’t work 40 hours a week to die with a fuck ton of money. Spend it.

6. I promise you that everything will be okay & that you won't be a loner forever. You’ll make some new friends, travel, experience amazing things, meet new people! You will make people laugh and they will find you funny & you’ll discover it’s one of your favourite things to do. You’ll find your people soon.

7. Pls make time to read. But if not, you’ll begin to do it in 4 years anyway. But just remember you like reading and reading isn’t “not cool”. Get a grip.

8. Be nicer to your mother. Yes, she’s moody as fuck, but she’s just frustrated and has a lot of things going on in her mind. Do some damn housework and help out. Be kind to her. It’ll pay off and you’ll be best friends soon.

9. You don’t want kids. You think you want that married housewife life? Negative. Ya don’t.

10. Bro, you are going to grow so much in the next five years!! Just wait hahahaha. You’ll be #shook. And yeah, shook is a thing.

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notarelationship · 7 years

Text

Clinging to This Hating Game 7/?

For the @prompt-a-klainefic blog’s 2017 Reverse Bang

Link to the art by @datshitrandom

the prompt:

Kurt and Blaine couldn’t stand each other in high school, maybe one was a jock/cheerleader and the other a nerd/glee clubber. Or they were bitter rivals for competition solos if they were both in glee club. Now they both live in NY and their friends set them up on a blind date, not knowing they went to the same high school.

High School AU, Cheerio!Kurt, Jock!Blaine Rating: Explicit Warnings (for the story overall): some bullying and homophobic language, teenage sex Word Count: ~5700 (this chapter)

Extra special thanks this time to my beta,

@mshoneysucklepink

, who made critical suggestions to this chapter.

Everything wonky is my fault.

AO3 link Chapter 7

On tumblr: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6

Notes:

The next time I estimate how many chapters something will be while I'm still writing it, feel free to laugh in my face.

And if you were waiting for the chapter to meet the explicit rating, wait no more...

No other specific warnings. Maybe boys being idiots.

Chapter 7

“Kurt I swear I had no idea,” Mercedes hissed under her breath.

Apparently not quietly enough because Blaine chuckled across the table. Kurt could feel his face heat up, and not just because of embarrassment. Blaine had been cute in high school; Kurt was attracted to him from the moment he spotted him in that frat house, before they’d even officially met. After they were unexpectedly thrown together Kurt had found himself drawn to both the scruffy football version as well as the more dapper, prep-school Blaine that had started to emerge as their time at McKinley had ended. But all grown up? All the hints Blaine had shown of his potential for old-Hollywood handsome had bloomed into one very attractive and well put together adult. Kurt would have checked him out thoroughly if he’d been a stranger.

“You can imagine how shocked I was when Mercedes showed up at the restaurant,” Blaine said, eyes twinkling. “Then when she said you were meeting us -” Blaine scratched at his temple. “Well, I confess I was even more shocked.”

“Hmm, I suppose it’s a good idea that this was a blind date then,” Kurt said. He tried to be flirty, like he would be on any date, but he could tell it came out a little too icily and Blaine’s pleased expression slipped for just a moment. Kurt bit back a grimace. “I only meant,” Kurt faltered, “expectations can play games with you.”

Blaine audibly sucked in a breath through his nose, lifting his chin a fraction in Kurt’s direction. “Yes, I suppose that’s true,” Blaine said. “It’s not often you get set up with your high school rival.”

Kurt wondered if Blaine would have come if he’d known it was Kurt he’d be dining with. Or if he himself would have agreed to it if he’d known it was Blaine. Sitting here across the table from him now he still wasn’t sure. He felt like such a different person now than he had been in high school; he could give Blaine as much credit as he’d expect to get.

“Oh my god, high school was forever ago.” Kurt attempted to wave away awkwardness with a laugh. “Water under the bridge.” He could see Blaine force a smile at him from across the table, but he appeared relieved.

“Not wearing your Cheerio uniform anymore I see?” Blaine teased.

“No, no Cheerio uniform,” Kurt answered, forcing a smile. Then, before he could stop himself, “I see you’re still sporting Brooks Brothers - even if a more sophisticated version.” Something flashed dark in Blaine’s eyes, but he pasted on a smile in an instant.

“Hey man,” Sam interrupted. “As much fun it sounds to rehash your old high school rivalry, I'm hungry.” He tapped at his menu.

That got Kurt’s attention, and he shook his head once and smiled at Sam, ignoring the flush that crawled up his neck and hoping everyone else would too. He wasn't sure how he felt when he noticed Blaine’s cheeks coloring as well across the table.

“Yes, yes of course,” Kurt said and took a sip of water to give himself a minute to collect himself. There was no reason Blaine should get under his skin at this point. He was far from the eager, blushing virgin he’d been when he and Blaine first encountered each other.

“It’s great to finally meet you, Kurt,” Sam said. “Of course, Blaine used to talk - ow! Dude!” Sam gave Blaine a harsh look.

“What?” Blaine looked at Sam with an innocently puzzled expression.

Sam rolled his eyes at Blaine. “Whatever.” He turned back to Kurt.

“You know, before you got here Mercedes was telling us about how you guys reconnected so long after high school, maybe you and Blaine can bury the - shit!” The table shifted and both Blaine and Sam’s water toppled to the table.

Kurt bit his lip to keep from laughing as Sam made a ‘wtf?’ gesture at Blaine and righted the glasses, mopping up as much water as he could before the waiter came and took over.

‘Like I said earlier, high school is - thankfully - in the past.” Kurt glanced at Blaine, who was looking at Kurt now with a wary curiosity as the waiter fussed around him. “How long have you and Blaine known each other?” he asked, once the table had been put back together.

“Oh, wow.” Sam paused, looking at the ceiling for a moment. “Well, we’ve been friends since sixth grade. ”

“Oh really? That’s a long time.” Kurt looked between the two men. Blaine had gone quiet, and was staring at a spot on the tablecloth. Blaine had obviously mentioned Kurt to Sam at some point in their past. “So you know all of Blaine’s secrets, I imagine?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Sam smirked, and Kurt realized that Sam probably knew everything. If that was true he was the only one who did. This was not a conversational road Kurt wanted to travel tonight.

“So what brings you to New York, Blaine?” Kurt changed the subject. Somehow talking about Blaine was easier than talking about himself. And wasn’t that strange. “When Mercedes roped me into this she mentioned that Sam’s roommate had only just moved to New York.”

Blaine chuckled, blushing just a little. “I um, I opened the Chicago cast of School of Rock last year, and they just moved me to Broadway. I start at the Winter Garden in two weeks.”

Kurt sat up. “Wow. That's impressive.” Kurt was surprised that the idea of Blaine on Broadway didn’t even make him jealous. He’d been lucky since graduating from Tisch and he had plenty on his plate right now.

Blaine shrugged. “It's kind of an old show at this point, but it still has ticket sales for the next year. I just hope I don't screw it up for the next guy.”

“Who knows?” Kurt said. “Maybe they'll keep you on for a while?” Blaine shrugged again, but his eyes were trained on Kurt in a way that, if this had been an actual date, would have given Kurt a lot of ideas about what they would be doing after dessert. Or possibly instead of. But it wasn’t an actual date. “I’m sure you’re a great Dewey.” Kurt grinned. “You’ve got the hair for it.”

“You’ve done pretty well, I think?” Blaine said. “Can I ask you how you hooked up with Saturday Night Live? How do you even get an audition for that?”

He shouldn’t be surprised that Blaine knew this, SNL was a huge show. Still, it felt a little bit gratifying to know that Blaine had paid some attention to his career.

“Well my amazing lack of an ability to be cast in more traditional roles carried on into NYU,” Kurt started. Blaine frowned and looked guiltily at Kurt. Maybe this wasn’t as neutral a topic as Kurt expected. “It’s not - It’s fine, you know. I know that I don’t pass as well as some other actors. I’ve accepted as much of that reality as I can, I guess. I’m never going to play a straight romantic lead, and there aren’t enough gay ones yet to keep us all employed.” Kurt smirked, trying to play it off as a joke, but Blaine shifted in his chair, reaching for his wine.

“It’s not really fair though, is it.” The way Blaine said it made it clear that it wasn’t a question.

“No, but that hasn’t seemed to be much of an issue for you.” Blaine looked stricken, and Kurt could hear Mercedes sharp inhale next to him. Kurt instantly regretted saying it. “I’m sorry. That probably wasn’t fair either.”

“We’re all battling something, I think,” Blaine offered, some of the shock draining from his face, but Kurt still felt bad. “So, um, go on, please.”

Kurt glanced at Mercedes, who gave a quick nod for him to go on. “Okay, well, I connected with an off campus improv group over that first summer, and I spent lot of time with them. It was amazing and I learned so much from just being on a stage every night, in front of people. And it turned out I was good at it.”

“That does not surprise me at all,” Blaine said. “You’ve always been very in the moment. I mean in your performances.” Blaine fiddled with the stem of his glass. “From what I remember, anyway,” he finished weakly, glancing at the table and then back at Kurt.

Blaine was looking at him so intensely now that it was Kurt’s turn to shift uncomfortably. There had been more than one time in high school when he had seen that look on Blaine’s face. He wasn’t sophisticated enough to be able to read it then. But he could read it now. “Thank you.”

Appetizers arrived, and the waiter refilled their wine glasses. Kurt was grateful for the time to compose himself.

“Ooh! Tell him about your plays,” Mercedes said. “Kurt writes plays, good ones,” she went on. “He’s had two of them produced just before the SNL gig came up.”

“Wow, really?” Blaine lit up, and the tension from before dissipated. “Maybe, if you have some time, you can give me some recommendations for some smaller productions. I have a couple weeks to kill before I have to start and I was hoping to get in as many different theater experiences as I can before my time is no longer my own.”

Kurt agreed to give Blaine some recommendations, and went on to tell the story of how someone from the SNL cast was in his second play, which started the long and winding road to him getting a shot to write for the show. By his sixth episode he was appearing in crowd skits, and he was asked to join the cast just before his second year when a couple of long time cast members decided not to return.

“That’s really amazing Kurt. Congratulations.” Blaine raised his half empty glass in a toast, smiling pleasantly at Kurt. “It’s well deserved.”

The four of them chatted amiably through the rest of the meal. Kurt was happy to find that Sam was obviously smitten with Mercedes, so he could stop worrying about her.

“Have you heard from Rachel lately?” Blaine asked. “I mean, after that whole NYADA debacle.” Blaine made a horrified face.

Kurt bristled. He didn’t want to - he had been lucky not to get into NYADA, ultimately, but for some reason it remained a sore spot. Even after it was exposed as a scam school, defrauding its students and their parents out of millions of dollars before its lack of accreditation was made public. Kurt had had to live through the school’s unmasking every step of the way as Rachel scrambled to come up with alternatives. In the end she just packed up and moved to Los Angeles, but a lot of other students hadn’t been so lucky.

“She’s doing great, she’s in LA, getting a lot of guest spots on various television series, but hasn’t landed a permanent role yet.”

“I guess you really dodged a bullet there,” Blaine said.

“Not like I was exactly placed in the line of fire, was I?” Kurt felt surly all of a sudden. “You know, I think I’ll skip dessert, if it’s all the same to everyone.”

“‘Line of fire?’ What’s that supposed to mean?” Blaine sat back in his chair, eyebrows raised and obviously offended.

“Kurt, they have cheesecake.” Mercedes pointed to the dessert menu, her eyes narrowed in a warning. Kurt knew her well enough to know she was irritated at him. “It’s supposed to be amazing.”

Kurt tuned Mercedes out. “It means that if anyone dodged a bullet it was you, going to Pittsburgh instead.”

“Kurt, you can’t still be sour about NYADA rejecting you, come on! They were a total Ponzi scheme.”

Sam looked puzzled. “What is that? Is that like one of those witches covens?”

Blaine’s attention shifted to Sam. “No Sam, they weren’t witches. But they did charge their students a lot of money and didn’t actually teach them anything. Or give them a degree.”

“Yeah, well finding out you were rejected not because of talent, but because they figured out your dad couldn’t afford tuition, room, and board, didn’t exactly make me feel better.” Kurt crossed his arms and huffed as he leaned back in his chair.

“And you think knowing they only offered me based on my family’s finances made me feel great about it?” Blaine said.

Sam motioned for the check. “Mercedes, I saw a great ice cream place on the corner, would you like to split a sundae?” He looked at Kurt and Blaine, who were now silently glaring at one another. “Just the two of us?”

“Sam, that sounds like an excellent idea.” Sam went to pull out Mercedes chair; as she stood up, she stared down Kurt with a look that made him suddenly feel like a huge jerk.

“I’m sorry,” he mouthed at her.

Mercedes grabbed Kurt’s arm as he stood, holding him a step back as Sam and Blaine walked toward the exit. “I don’t think it’s me you owe an apology to, Kurt. Although you can buy me brunch on Sunday and we will discuss what the hell you think you were doing tonight.”

Once they had exited the restaurant, Sam hugged Blaine, then turned and shook Kurt’s hand. “Kurt, again it was nice meeting you. Good to put a face to all the stories I’ve heard.” Kurt blushed as Sam winked at him again, and his stomach dropped. Sam probably had the whole list of Blaine’s conquests memorized so he could keep track when Blaine ranked them on gay-bro night. Kurt watched Sam turn and offer his arm to Mercedes; as she took it, she turned and looked over her shoulder one last time at Kurt and Blaine, who both stood on the sidewalk, not looking at each other.

She whispered loudly, “Y’all better settle your business and make peace, you hear me?”

Kurt kicked the sidewalk, watching Mercedes and Sam walk away. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“She’s your friend, Kurt.” Blaine stood with his hands in his pockets, head cocked to one side. “And I’m pretty sure she watched us both behave like children for a large portion of this evening, so she kinda does.”

Kurt didn’t really want the answer to the next question. He wasn’t even sure why it mattered at this point. “So how much does Sam actually know?”

“Sam knows everything, he knows everything about me.” Blaine paused, rubbing his hands over his face. “He knows I met you before I transferred. And he knows, well, we have a little history. ” His voice was strangled. “I talked to him a lot during that year at McKinley. It wasn’t the best time for me either you know.”

“Oh god.”

“He’s my best friend Kurt, you’ll have to excuse me if I told him things that happened in my life.” Blaine paced in a circle. “There were times when he was the only person who cared!”

Kurt scoffed. “You had a lot of friends, if I remember correctly.”

“People liked me, yes. But that’s because I never challenged anything they thought. I didn’t stand up for myself, not at school. I did what was expected of me to fit in. That’s how I got by. Being popular is different than having friends who actually understand you. I was pretty sure you understood that, even then.” Blaine threw his arms up. “It was forever ago, Kurt. And you hated me back then!”

Kurt was silent. He’d heard people say, more than once, that the scars of high school really do fade once you get away. Even after only a few years Kurt could look back with clearer eyes on the whole experience. Everyone struggled, he realized that now even if he couldn’t then. Blaine just seemed to bring out his bitchy side.

“I didn't hate you.”

Blaine was looking at Kurt like he’d started speaking a foreign language. “Oh my god were you not there? You were so mean to me Kurt.” Blaine was staring at him, his eyes all hurt and pleading, and definitely something more.

“You made everything so much more difficult.” Kurt hugged himself as they stood on the New York street, staring at each other. It was almost too much. “I was jealous. Everything had been so hard, and you showed up and it was like nothing I had done had mattered.” He sighed. “I guess nothing is ever really what it looks like, is it?”

Blaine shook his head, shrugged his whole body as he looked up at the sky then back at Kurt.

“I’m sorry, Kurt. I really am,” Blaine said, sounding hopeless, then pleading, “I was just trying to get by.” He held a hand out in front of him, then dropped it to his side. “Like you.” Blaine paused again shaking his head. “God we can’t seem to get this right. If we could start over again maybe w -”

“We’d what Blaine? What could we have done differently?” Kurt didn’t know why he was continuing to have this - argument? discussion? Whatever it was, he knew he didn’t want to end it and have them both just walk away. Blaine was staring at him. Well, Blaine was staring at his mouth, open desire etched across his face. Kurt blinked. They were much closer than they had been just a moment ago.

“Kurt.” Blaine was breathing hard.

“Get a cab.”

Blaine spun on his heel and flung his arm out into the street. He opened the door of the taxi that pulled up to the curb so Kurt could get in, then climbed in beside him, slamming the door shut. The cab didn’t move.

The cab driver turned around and looked at them. “Where you headed?”

Blaine was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his face buried in his hands. “I'm sleeping on Sam’s pullout sofa.”

Kurt gave the driver his address.

They were silent in the cab, Kurt staring out the window while Blaine’s fingers tapped steadily on his knee, but once they were in the apartment and Kurt had locked the door Blaine grabbed him by the wrists and pushed him up against the door, sealing his mouth over Kurt’s with a grunt.

“I spent most of senior year thinking about you while I jerked off,” Blaine hissed. “It didn’t matter how much you hated me, I, god -” Kurt pushed his tongue into Blaine’s mouth, licking wildly. Blaine pinned Kurt's hands to either side of his head, hard against the door, so Kurt moved his hips against him, his own erection pressing eagerly against the front of his snug jeans. “I still think about you coming all over me in the back seat of that car, that noise you made, that first time? Still top three in my spank bank, Kurt.”

Kurt moaned as Blaine kissed across his jaw.

“What are the other two?” Kurt managed to gasp out, trying to maintain some control over himself. He was failing fast.

Blaine chuckled into his ear. “Those fucking pants you wore at the NYADA audition. My god I wanted to blow you so bad. I’d never -” Blaine moaned.

“I jerked myself raw that weekend thinking about you,” Kurt confessed as Blaine’s hips pressed him hard against the door. “I had to hide in my room and wear sweatpants for two days my dick was so sore. My dad thought I was sick.”

“Oh my god.” Blaine let go of one hand and reached to cup Kurt’s cock, rubbing hard against the material. He took Kurt’s hand and pressed it between his own legs, up against his erection.

Kurt panted into Blaine’s mouth. “That was the first time I ever, oh fuck, the first time I ever fingered myself.” Blaine whimpered.

“I’m gonna come Kurt, in my pants right here. Like a fucking teenager.”

“Ohmygod we should have done this in high school.” Kurt squeezed Blaine’s cock through his pants and he jerked closer. “I’m sorry I was such an ass to you,” he panted. “I had a lot of anger issues.”

Blaine ignored that as he huffed against Kurt’s neck, sucking hard below his ear, jerking Kurt off over his jeans. “Come on, come on Kurt.”

Kurt’s cock throbbed and he came with a choked off sob, soaking his underwear through to his jeans until Blaine was rubbing wet come around with his hand on the front of his pants. Blaine pushed his fingers underneath the waistband of Kurt's pants, fingering the soft, wet head of his cock until Kurt twitched away.

“Fuck. Your turn.” Kurt caught Blaine’s cheek with his free hand, holding his face still so he could bite Blaine’s bottom lip, rubbing his cock through the thick fabric of his suit. Blaine shuddered, coming with a long moan in his expensive wool trousers.

Kurt wanted to fall to the floor, but Blaine kept him pinned to the door as they both caught their breath and their senses. Kurt’s eyes darted around his dark apartment, waiting for Blaine to move. Blaine didn’t pull away, he pressed his mouth against Kurt’s neck with a gentle suck, kissing back across his jaw until Kurt tilted his head to kiss him back.

“Come on,” Kurt mumbled into Blaine’s mouth. “Shower.”

Kurt ignored the soggy mess in his pants, trying hard not to think about how that was one of the hottest things that had ever happened to him. New York had offered plenty of opportunities for Kurt to settle into himself, and his first two years of college he’d gotten some unexpectedly wild behavior out of his system. This night was promising to be up there.

When they got to the bathroom Kurt looked at himself in the mirror - there were marks on his neck and his skin was flushed from his collarbone to his ears. He peeled off his clothes, adding them to the pile Blaine had started on the floor. When he turned around Blaine was bent over the edge of his tub, completely naked, trying to turn the shower on. Kurt couldn’t stop a laugh from bubbling out.

“Everyone looks incompetent trying to work a strange shower,” Blaine said over his shoulder. “And I am nervous as fuck Kurt. How do you turn this thing on?” He stood and turned around, catching Kurt looking. “Are you staring at my ass?”

Kurt shrugged one shoulder. “It’s a nice ass.” Blaine ducked his head and blushed, moving aside as Kurt leaned in to turn on the shower. “You’re standing naked in my bathroom Blaine, don’t you think it’s a little late to be coy about it?”

Blaine crossed his arms across his chest and Kurt had to look away, fiddling with the water temperature to distract him from the naked man standing next to him. “I’m actually hoping that it’s not too late for a lot of things.”

In Kurt’s previous experiences showering with someone was always a little awkward at first; were you showering? Were you making out? How far did the other guy want to go? When were you supposed to ask? What if you had to call 911? Kurt still had visions of slipping in the middle of shower sex and having to explain to his dad what had happened. It was a lot to navigate.

He stepped into the shower, tugging Blaine behind him until they were both under the water, and Blaine didn’t give him a lot of time to ponder. He stepped into Kurt’s space, hands reaching for his face and pulling him into a heated kiss. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and went with it. This kiss was intense in a different way than the one at the door when they had come in. If Blaine had attacked his mouth before, now he was memorizing it.

“Wow,” he said, breathless once Blaine pulled away. Blaine kissed him again, a quick one as his hands worked their way to Kurt’s waist.

“Kurt, I need to ask -” Blaine ran his hands over Kurt’s sides as the water ran down his back. “Did you get taller?”

Kurt laughed and threw his head back under the water. Grinning he rested his forehead against Blaine’s. “Yes.

“How?”

“The puberty train hit me late. I had quite the growth spurt freshman year.”

“Well that seems rather unfair,” Blaine said, pecking him on the corner of his mouth. “And also insanely hot I’ve got to say.”

Kurt leaned into another kiss, then Blaine reached for the shower gel over Kurt’s shoulder and they actually took a few minutes to soap up and rinse off. Taking turns under the spray, they washed the product out of their hair. When they were finished Kurt reached his arms around Blaine and hauled him in for another kiss, this time letting his hands wander down to Blaine’s ass. Kurt slid slippery fingers between his cheeks, pressing lightly as Blaine moved closer with a soft oh okay. Kurt squeezed one thick cheek with his other hand and Blaine gasped.

“I have to be honest Blaine, I’m not sure I’d have known what to do with an ass like yours in high school, if we’d ever taken it that far.”

Blaine giggled against Kurt’s neck. “Are you sure you know what to do with it now?”

Blaine’s hips were working against Kurt and Kurt could see and feel Blaine starting to get hard again. Kurt wasn’t going to be far behind him. He grinned into a kiss, pulling Blaine’s cheeks apart while teasing one finger between them. “Uh huh.”

Kurt spun Blaine around until he was facing the shower wall, tilting the shower head so it wouldn’t rain on his face, and dropped to his knees. Blaine’s ass was so thick Kurt had to hold his cheeks open so he could get his tongue on Blaine’s hole. Normally he would have taken more time, teased his partner until his rim was twitching, begging for something inside it. But this time he wanted it more than he wanted to tease. He wanted to taste, to take, to leave a mark. He spread Blaine wider, frantically licking at his damp skin until he’d licked away the water and his crack was dripping with spit, his tiny hole puckering impatiently.

Blaine shifted, spreading his thighs in the small space, and Kurt sat back on his heels to keep from slipping. When Blaine had started fisting his cock Kurt nipped at the tender skin of Blaine's ass to get his attention.

“We should move to the bedroom,” he said.

“Hunh?” Blaine turned to look down at him, a little glassy eyed. Kurt stood and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling his back snug against him, knowing Blaine could feel Kurt’s erection pressing against his ass.

“You don't need to break your ankle two weeks before your Broadway debut.”

Blaine chuckled, nuzzling his head back against Kurt. “You're probably right.” Blaine twisted in Kurt’s arms, searching for a kiss Kurt willingly gave.

Kurt shut off the water, reaching for one of his oversized towels and wrapping Blaine in it long enough to keep him from dripping all over his apartment, then did the same for himself. Kurt’s bedroom was just on the other side of his small kitchen, so he led a naked Blaine through to his bedroom. Once inside Blaine pulled him in for another deep kiss.

“Do you want something? Water?”

Blaine shook his head, hands moving to stroke Kurt until he was hard. “Later.”

“Get on your belly then, I’m not done with you,” Kurt whispered, surprised at the husky sound of his own voice. Blaine grinned, ‘okay’, kissing Kurt once with a smack and scrambling to the bed. Kurt joined him, pressing lips against the back of his neck, arching so the length of his cock settled in the cleft of Blaine’s ass. Kurt wanted to take the time to explore; Blaine’s body was gorgeous and there was a lot to enjoy. He didn’t want to dwell on whether he would have another chance.

So he kissed across Blaine’s shoulders, licking the salty taste of the sweat that prickled on Blaine’s skin, even after the shower. Kurt kissed and bit, and memorized every sound Blaine made while he did. When he reached Blaine’s ass, he dug in, tongue firm against Blaine’s pucker until it was twitching, inviting. He pressed his thumb carefully against the invitation.

“Can I fuck you?” Kurt asked, loud in the quiet dark.

Blaine shifted, hugging a pillow under his chest. “Oh, god, I wish you would.”

Kurt scrambled to the side table, retrieving condoms and lube before settling between Blaine’s thighs and spreading them just a bit more. Blaine hitched his ass up in the air, spreading his cheeks wide. “You look amazing,” Kurt breathed; he had to slow down and squeeze his cock to keep under control. The last thing he wanted was to come before they even got started. He couldn’t embarrass himself now that they’d gotten this far.

He pressed his middle finger against Blaine’s twitching hole, teasing in and out a few times before sliding it up to the last knuckle; after a few twists, he added a second finger, turning them against the press of the tight muscle. Blaine sighed and Kurt could see and feel the tension leaving his body. “How many do you need?” he asked, stroking himself as his fingers worked Blaine open.

“One more.” Blaine hugged the pillow tighter and wriggled a little, fucking himself on Kurt’s fingers. “But not for long, just a little more.”

Kurt nodded, more to himself than to Blaine, who had pressed his face against the bed; he added more lube and a third finger, twisting them until he could feel the stretch. The god Kurt Blaine moaned was enough of a check in for Kurt, so he rolled on a condom and pressed his cock against Blaine’s hole. Blaine pushed back and Kurt watched as the head disappeared inside; he waited a moment for Blaine to nod, then pressed in, slowly. Blaine, gasping, begged him to move, and with one hand on the bed and one gripping Blaine’s shoulder he pulled out, pushing in again slowly, and again until they found a rhythm, Blaine working as eagerly to fuck Kurt as Kurt had ever had in a partner, if not more so.

“Mmm, Blaine?” Kurt bent low, mouthing at Blaine’s ear, his hips making a smacking noise as he “How long can I keep fucking you?”

Blaine twisted under Kurt, wrapping his arm around him and mouthing at his neck. “I don’t know,” he panted, almost giggling. “How long can you keep fucking me?”

Kurt bit at Blaine’s lip. “I see, okay.” Kurt mouthed at Blaine’s neck, then pulled back, pressing him down to the bed before sitting up on his knees. He pulled Blaine’s hips higher, but Blaine pushed up until he was on all fours, laughing as he glanced back at Kurt.

“Go on,” he invited.

Eyes locked onto Blaine’s, Kurt reached blindly for more lube, squirting an excessive amount into his hand before slicking his cock and wiping the excess over Blaine’s puffy hole. Eyes still on Blaine he pushed his cock back in, a satisfying thrill shooting up his spine when Blaine closed his eyes and gasped. After that there was no more talking, or teasing, or asking anything; just the slap of skin on hot skin, sweat dripping down Kurt’s back, droplets collecting in the dimples above Blaine’s ass. They fucked until Kurt’s thighs were shaking, until he was sure he would pass out if he came, until Kurt couldn’t hold off one more second. Then with a strangled cry that sounded like it could have been “Kurt,” Blaine reached for his cock and pushed back hard, grinding his ass against Kurt until he came, and Kurt could only give in, fucking them both through each pulse until they were spent.

Kurt could feel Blaine’s legs start to give out, so he grabbed him around his hips, holding him close until his cock softened and he had to pull out. Blaine fell to the bed with a muffled “nggghh.”

Kurt must have passed out for a few minutes, because when he opened his eyes he was still wearing the used condom, and Blaine was naked and sprawled next to him on top of the coverlet, making snuffling noises. He took care of the condom first, then stood on wobbly legs and went to the bathroom. He considered a shower, given how much sweat had already dried on him, but sleep beckoned, so he wiped himself with the still damp towel from earlier and brought a wet towel for Blaine.

When he got back to the bedroom Blaine was still asleep. Kurt sat next to him on the edge of the bed, shaking his shoulder until he woke.

“Hey, I didn’t want to freak you out when I wiped up all the lube.” Kurt chuckled, and Blaine shifted until he was raised on his elbows. “We made quite the mess.”

“Mmm, yeah.” Blaine grinned sloppily. “No complaints.”

Kurt finished wiping the worst of it, and Blaine escaped to washup. While he was gone Kurt pulled the mussed covers off and sat on the bed. Should he put something on? Did Blaine want to stay? Kurt was pretty sure he wanted him to stay, but what would happen after the morning was anyone’s guess, Kurt wasn’t sure he could think that far. Was this the marathon to ‘get it out of their system’ that they’d apparently always needed? Or was there a future? Or maybe they’d just be friends after. Like they couldn’t manage to do when they were young and took everything too seriously.

He was still contemplating when Blaine rejoined him in the bedroom, still gloriously naked. Kurt had hooked up with some good looking men in the last six years, but Blaine was definitely in the top two.

“Hey,” Blaine said, sitting next to him on the bed. “I don’t know what you had in mind, but I’d really like to stay. If that’s okay.” The question was confident, but Blaine looked like he expected to be shot down. He wasn’t going to be, not tonight.

Kurt leaned in, kissing him almost chastely, considering their evening so far. “Please stay.”

#clinging to this hating game #prompt-a-klaine-fic #prompt-a-klaine-fic reverse bang #artist: datshitrandom #Klaine fic

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jakepaschal · 5 years

Text

August 1st-August 6th, 2018

It was the evening of August 1st 2018. Life was going great for me and my family as my parents had pretty much finished their duties of raising 3 good children. My then 27 year old sister Casey was getting married in 3 weeks to the love of her life, a moment we had long been waiting for. Jimmy (26) was also at an exciting stage in his life, as he had a job that he was passionate about and girlfriend that he adored. It’s safe to say he was going to build a career and family off of. And finally, I was in my first job out of school that I landed with my degree and hard work, making money and relieving stresses of student debt and educational pressure. Things were really looking up. Then tragedy struck.

After a typical day at work, I got off the train and headed to a dermatology appointment. My iPhone 6 was nearing the end of its life as I had to charge it multiple times a day, so, by the time I left my evening appointment my phone had died and I did not have a charger in my car. When I got home I was pleasantly surprised to see my mom had made one of me and Jimmy’s favorite dinner. The first thing I did was plug my phone into my charger in my room, subsequently I went back down stairs to eat dinner. It was around 7 or 730, and Jimmy was not home for dinner, which was strange because my parents had seen him boating on the Rez a short time earlier while they were simultaneously walking around the nice man-made body of water in town. I didn't think much of it.

I finished my dinner, went upstairs to my now charged up phone and had some texts from friends in a group message. The first one read “theres some shit going down at the Rez right now”. My heart sunk a little bit. The following messages were describing what was going down as some of my friends also live near Reservoir. They were talking about helicopters, ambulances, fire trucks, really all the things you don't want to see or hear about in a tight knit community. My first thought was that it can’t be Jimmy, there were a decent amount of other people on the lake that night. However, at the same time, I had a bad feeling. I then shouted to my parents downstairs as they were already worried as to why Jimmy hadn't come back. I said something along the lines of “Mom, Dad, this isn't good, I think Jimmy might be in trouble” which triggered panic. My dad bolted back to the Rez as I followed up in conversation with my Mom about what I was reading in my group chat. My mother then also went to the Rez.

I stayed home for a little bit. I called the Canton Police to ask what was going on at the Rez. They informed me their were 2 trucks where the owners could not be located. James Paschal was one of them, and the other, who will remain nameless for the sake of this article, was also a friend of mine. Throughout the duration of finding out this news via text, Jimmy’s phone was going straight to voicemail and he wasn't answering anybody's texts. I then decided to call the owner of the other trucks friend, asking if he had talked to him recently. Sure enough, they had spoken 5 minutes ago. It was at that moment that I knew it was my brother who was seriously in trouble.

I had to wait a few more minutes at the house for the police to come after I frantically drove a third car to the Rez. When I showed up, oh man, it was the worst possible sighting I could imagine. Police and Fire lights everywhere, multiple news stations trying to figure out what was going on, and a crowd of a few dozen people pondering why the media and emergency vehicles were in the vicinity. I rushed through the “police do not cross” tape and on to the beach where a boat had washed ashore. It was my brothers boat, with his Nike shoes inside and the motor missing. There was a diver preparing to go into the water, and a helicopter hovering above with search lights. I didn't know what to do, I think my mind and body were in complete debilitating shock. I was then confronted by some Police and Fire who asked me some protocol questions about my brothers disappearance and confirmed my identity in relationship with him. That sucked.

They escorted me over to my Mom and Dad on a hidden street away from the crowd. We waited. During this time I made some calls I never imagined I would have to make because I knew Jimmy’s luck was running out at that point. It had been around an hour since somebody heard him shouting for help, approximately 30 feet from the shoreline. I called my boss and told him I wouldn't be at work for a few weeks, I called my sister who was at her home in Woburn to tell her how serious the situation was, and lastly I called Sarah, Jimmy’s girlfriend, to break the news to her. I'll never forget her instantly start crying with a questioning “what” on the phone when I told her why Jimmy wasn't answering her calls and texts.

Fast forward a few hours (of what seemed like an eternity) while endlessly praying and hugging my parents, we were advised to go home and not wait for Jimmy to show up, whether it was dead or alive. The police drove me and my parents home where we were met with many friends and family to comfort us, anticipating the news we never wanted to hear. Some people stayed up while others were able to sleep a tiny bit. I crawled into a ball in my bedroom, basically paralyzed by the thoughts running through my head.

August 2nd

It was a little after 2am, and the worst moment of my life. The State Police had knocked on our door to give my parents the news. I was awoken by my Dad opening my door with tears coming down his face. He said “Jake, they found him” in a panic. I think I responded with “is he, did he” and before I could finish my dad just shook his head. We hugged for a couple minutes to try and comfort each other. Meanwhile, in my brothers bedroom adjacent to mine, my Mom was on my brothers bed hysterically crying. At that point, me, my Sister, and my Dad all huddled on his bed with her, again trying to comfort each other in the darkest of times.

I finally got to sleep somehow and when I woke up in the late morning I wasn't sure if I was in a dream or real life. The rest of the day felt like that. Eventually, me, my Dad, and my uncle had to muster up enough power to pick Jimmy’s truck up at the Rez and drive it home. That was tough. Oh and the news showed up at our house asking to speak with us, real professional. That’s about all i remember from the 2nd.

August 3rd & 4th

Depression. Couldn't eat, couldn’t sleep, I had never experienced a feeling this low in my life. Knowing the person I was closest to was no longer going to be involved in my life made seconds feel like minutes, and hours feel like days. And I honestly don't remember much of anything during these days because I still was not sure, if I was in a dream or real life. We then had to plan funeral and wake arrangements. WHAT?!? It was not easy to get out of the house and do that.

August 5th

Jimmy’s wake was this day and it ran for about 7 hours because of the amount of gratitude displayed by Jimmy’s friends, family, coworkers, and community of Canton. I still don't know how my family (or any family that has a tragedy) is able to physically do this, but I honestly, can't remember much of the procedure because my mind was still in shock with all that was going on. I remember so little to only write as much as this paragraph. Still don't think I had brushed my teeth or showered since the first.

August 6th

Well, this was the day we had to lay Jimmy to rest. After the funeral service, me, my cousin, and some of his close friends carried his casket from a hearse to his spot at the cemetery that we had purchased, and we watched him leave this earth forever. wtf. Just like that, life changed forever.

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stillgeekingout · 7 years

Text

surprise! it’s chapter 13 of the ultimate aaron milverton crossover fic! I may have stopped my routine but I will never give up on my greatest work

previous: 1 here, 2 here, 3 here, 4 here, 5 here, 6 here, 7 here, 8 here, 9 here, 10 here, 11 here, 12 here

------

A week later, Rachel was once again visited at work. But this time, it wasn’t Aaron visiting.

“Blair? How did you-- what are you doing here?” Blair had appeared-- literally appeared-- in the middle of the store. Luckily, Rachel’s manager was in the back as usual and no other customers were around. She had believed Zoe about Blair and Alex being gods, but the teleportation still threw her off guard.

Rachel couldn’t imagine why Blair would show up out of the blue. She hadn’t gotten the impression that Blair had particularly liked her on their last encounters.

“I need to speak with you,” said Blair by way of greeting. “But first, I am going to eat some froyo.”

And with that, she began loading a cup, leaving Rachel trying and failing to think of a response. (Blair really loved froyo, according to Zoe. They had been texting constantly for a week and a lot of Zoe’s end was just stories about Alex and Blair, her coworkers, and her new friend Violet. Rachel didn’t mind. She thought it was nice how much Zoe cared about her friends.)

Blair ate her froyo in silence, filled and ate a second cup, and finally addressed Rachel. “I came to offer a proposition.”

“Ok…” She didn’t know what she had been expecting, but that wasn’t it. “What kind of proposition?”

“Well, Zoe won’t stop talking about you, and there’s all that mortal nonsense about physical distance--”

“Wait, she talks about me?” Were Alex and Blair hearing about her the way she heard about them? She hadn’t realized she would like the idea as much as she did. It felt nice to be among the people Zoe cared enough to talk about.

“When will you humans learn not to interrupt the divine when we’re speaking? Yes, I just said that she talks about you. Now, as I was saying--”

“What does she say?” She wasn’t sure what she wanted Zoe to be saying.

“You’re making me regret my proposition before I even make it.”

“Sorry, go on.”

Blair took a deep breath, eyeing Rachel as if to make sure she wouldn’t cut her off this time. “Zoe is the best human I know,” she said matter-of-factly, “and she clearly thinks highly of you. And not having you around is making her upset. My proposition is this: one of Zoe’s human friends has informed me that there is a position open at the Smithsonian, and--”

Rachel caught on to what Blair was trying to say. “Whoa, wait, I can’t move to DC!”

Blair huffed at being interrupted again. “Why not?”

“Well, my parents are here,” she said, though she had been eager to leave her parents’ house for months. “And I just met Zoe, I’m not about to Rebecca Bunch myself at her--”

“I do not know what that means.”

“It’s from a TV show.”

“Oh, one of those.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rachel said, not wanting to anger Blair too much. Zoe had said she didn’t really lash out anymore, but Rachel didn’t want to push it. “The point is, I can’t move halfway up the country for a girl I barely know anything about.”

“Well that’s easy, I can tell you about her. What do you want to know?”

“That’s… nice of you, but not what I meant.”

“I don’t understand what the problem is. I will provide housing for you if necessary. Although I’m sure that you don’t have issues obtaining human currency, considering that you work in such an esteemed field as frozen yogurt distribution.” She gestured around at the store. Rachel laughed. Blair stared at her as if she didn’t understand the joke.

“Listen, Blair, this is really nice of you,” Rachel said, “but I just can’t. It’s too much to process right now.”

“Very well. I will return when you’ve had time to consider.”

“That’s not what I m--”

But Blair was already gone, vanished into thin air.

------

Aaron couldn’t decide what was worse: when he had been agonizing over Chad not liking him back, or his newfound agonizing over being in a long distance relationship.

That was a total lie-- as terrible as long distance was, he definitely preferred it to his previous situation. He and Chad talked constantly. They skyped every night. Aaron still got excited every time he saw Chad’s face pop up on his screen. And even though Chad was far away, he was still undisputably Aaron’s. That feeling alone was worth the pain of separation.

For all intents and purposes, he was very, very happy. But Chad’s next visit couldn’t come soon enough.

------

How was christmas shopping with violet?

Rachel sent the text, then flopped down on her bed. She and Zoe had been texting for several weeks. It was comfortable, easy. Rachel no longer felt nervous to reply to every text. She still didn’t know where she stood on the romantic front, but Zoe hadn’t mentioned anything about it. For now, it was nice having a friend to talk to.

Two friends, actually. She and Aaron had seen each other several more times. She had come close a few times to telling him the truth about everything, but it was easier just to console him about Chad. (Who, by the way, was visiting for New Year’s. Rachel got an update on the countdown every time she and Aaron talked.)

Her phone buzzed.

Suuuuuper weird lol i finally met her infamous detective friend bc we stopped by their office

???

Oh did i not tell you about that? it’s somebody she knows from college, they have like a consulting business or idk. but they kept asking me a million questions about my family and if i had any relatives my age in georgia

Weird, why?

apparently i look like some dead drug lord??? Violet has told me this before but she tells me a lot of weird stuff, i try not to ask too many questions tbh.

your roommates are gods, aren’t you beyond ruling out weird stuff lol

Blair had stopped by the store earlier that day, in fact. It was her third time, and luckily Rachel had finally convinced her to use the front door in case there were other people around.

“The position at the Smithsonian was filled,” she’d said. “But I’m still prepared to find you something.” Rachel had insisted that it was still too soon and too drastic. Blair had stuck around to eat 4 or 5 cups of froyo, and they had actually talked a little bit. It was nice, in a weird way.

I’m used to my own weird by now hahaha, Zoe’s text said. actually though sherlock did look kinda familiar to me too so probably we met at some point and now she’s mixed me up with this other girl

Wait omg sherlock???

yeah... weird name i know

no omg I think you might have met aaron’s ex

you sure??

How many people do you know named sherlock…

wtf……. small world

Did you catch a last name? I’ll fb stalk. She wondered if Aaron’s ex was cute. They seemed to have about the same taste in terrible women.

homes? i think? something like that

Sure enough, “Sherlock Holmes” was the first result on facebook. Lives in DC, went to SACU. So this was the girl who had broken Aaron’s heart. Her profile picture was hard to see, so Rachel clicked to make it bigger… and almost dropped her phone.

Her breath caught in her throat. Her hands shook. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and then looked back at her phone cautiously, hoping she had been imagining things. But no, the uncanny resemblance was still there.

“Hamlet!” she shouted to her empty bedroom. “If you’re doing this, it’s not funny, okay? Leave me alone!”

Her phone buzzed.

so, any conclusion? same sherlock?

Then, a few seconds later: omg does this mean violet and aaron went to the same college

Rachel steadied herself. She couldn’t do this right now. She couldn’t respond to Zoe like everything was normal. Since the day they met, Zoe had always been surrounded by things that reminded her of the life she was trying so hard to forget. Blair looking like Laura. Zoe driving Marci’s car. But this… this felt more deliberate than coincidental.

Hey I’ll talk to you later ok? She managed to send the text to Zoe, then put her phone down. What now? Was this Hamlet’s ghost messing with her? She wouldn’t, right? Rachel couldn’t bring herself to believe that Hamlet would intentionally hurt her.

She sat on her bed, taking deep breaths. After a few minutes with no sign of anything out of the ordinary, she picked her phone back up and called Aaron.

He answered almost immediately. “Rachel!!! What’s up?”

“Hey, are you busy?” she asked, trying to match his enthusiasm and failing miserably. “Can I ask you something weird?”

“Um...?”

“Just-- are you around people?” Her voice was shaking. “I don’t want to bring this up if you’re not in private.”

“No, I’m not around people,” he said cautiously. “Rachel, are you ok? You sound weird.”

“I think so. I mean, I’m not in danger. Um. I hate to ask you this, but can I talk to you about Sherlock?” Now he must be really confused.

“What about Sherlock? Did she try to contact you?” If Aaron sounded concerned before, now he really did.

“No! She didn’t. It’s complicated. Um, this is going to sound weird, but can you tell me what she looks like?”

“Short brown hair, glasses, really pale, kinda tall…” So the picture was probably real. Maybe she was imagining the similarities to Hamlet. A lot of people fit that description. She looked at the picture again, and-- nope, definitely still looked like a less goth Hamlet.

“And um, she lived at SACU full time, right? She didn’t like pop back and forth from Orlando?” She couldn’t imagine that her former best friend and roommate led some sort of secret double life in Middle-of-Nowhere, Georgia. But she just had to check.

“I mean, she was secretive, but I highly doubt it… hey, can you tell me what’s going on now?”

“I…” She hadn’t really thought far enough ahead to come up with an explanation. “So um. It turns out Zoe’s friends in DC know Sherlock.”

She heard Aaron sigh. “She really is going to haunt me forever, isn’t she?” he muttered.

He meant ‘haunt’ as a figure of speech, Rachel told herself. There’s no way Sherlock is ALSO a ghost. Out loud, she said, “Um, so I looked her up because I was curious and I wanted to make sure it was the same Sherlock. That’s all.” Now that she was fairly convinced that Sherlock was actually just a person who looked a lot like Hamlet, and there was nothing supernatural going on, she didn’t want to go into more detail. Maybe doppelgangers were just much more common than she previously realized. She did have a cousin who looked a lot like her.

“And what were you saying about Orlando?” Aaron asked.

“Oh, uh, nothing.” Very convincing.

“Rachel. Are you sure you’re ok?”

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t tell Aaron, and she definitely couldn’t tell him over the phone. “I’m fine,” she said, trying to steady her voice. “I’ll explain later. It’s not a big deal.”

“Ok…”

“I promise. I’m ok. I’ll talk to you later, ok? Thanks for answering.”

“You’re welcome…” He still sounded skeptical. She hung up.

She got on her computer and googled Sherlock Holmes, only to find out that her (their?) friend had a vlog. Because of course. She clicked through a few videos, but the similarities to Hamlet were too disturbing. Right down to the ace ring.

Knowing how much of a bad idea it was, she pulled up Hamlet’s channel. (Her therapist always told her not to watch the videos, and she usually agreed. But then, it would be much easier not to if she could just delete them. Her therapist never understood why she didn’t, and never seemed to believe that she physically couldn’t.) After two or three videos, she managed to close the tab. She lay down on her bed and cried.

That night, she dreamed of Hamlet dying in her arms.

------

Rachel’s phone rang. It was Zoe.

She let it go to voicemail.

She felt guilty for ignoring Zoe the past several days, but she didn’t know how to talk to her. With all of her secrets back to the forefront of her mind, it seemed impossible to be casual. Eventually, Zoe was bound to ask her more things about her past. Or, you know, what her last name was. Somehow or other, Rachel knew she would find the videos and see everything. Which left her with two options: tell Zoe everything before that could happen, or ignore it and hope it would go away. And she hated confrontation.

Her phone buzzed with a voicemail notification. It occurred to her that she and Zoe had never actually talked on the phone, only texted. Which meant she hadn’t heard Zoe’s actual voice since Thanksgiving weekend. She figured she should listen to the voicemail. It had to be something serious if Zoe was going to the trouble of actually calling.

“Hi, ok, so I really need you to call me. I haven’t heard from you in days and I don’t know what the explanation is but I need to know that you’re ok and you didn’t have some kind of emergency. And I really hope you’re safe and fine and you don’t have a family member in the hospital or something. Please call me if you get the chance so I know if you’re ok. Bye, I love y-- I MEAN! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that, I’m so used to saying that to my mom and friends and stuff… not that we’re not friends! I just. And this is making it worse, I’m sorry, I lo--NO. Gods. Ok. Call me. Bye.”

Rachel played the message again. She felt terrible for making Zoe nervous about her wellbeing.

I got your message, she texted. Sorry I’ve been MIA. I’m ok… it’s hard to explain.

Her phone rang again. This time, she answered it.

“Hello?”

“Ok, seriously, what the hell?”

“What?” After the message she’d just heard, she hadn’t expected Zoe to sound so angry.

“You can’t just disappear off the face of the earth like that,” Zoe said. “I get that like, things happen and people get busy but you can’t go from texting every day to not saying anything for almost a week and not expect me to get worried! I’ve been freaking out!”

“I’m really sorry, I--”

“Listen, if you don’t want to talk to me anymore, can you at least have the courtesy to tell me? I’m not going to waste my time if you don’t want to be friends but it’s really not cool to just ghost me like that.” Trust me, Rachel thought, I’ve seen ghosting, and this isn’t it.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you,” Rachel said.

“Then what?” Zoe still sounded angry. “Because honestly I’ve been wracking my brain for days and if you don’t have an emergency and you’re not avoiding me then I’m really confused as to why you can’t just respond to a simple text, even to say you’re too busy to talk.”

“I don’t know how to explain it,” Rachel said. She should have known confrontation would come for her one way or another. “I’m… I’m not exactly what you think I am, Zoe.”

“My best friends are gods,” Zoe said. “Try me.”

Rachel sighed. “I wasn’t being totally honest about being ok,” she said. “I mean, I’m fine, I’m safe, I don’t want you to worry about me. But I have these... ghosts, I guess. Of my past. And sometimes it’s too much.”

“Rachel, I’m here for you,” Zoe said, no longer sounding angry. “We’re friends now, ok? You can tell me.”

“That’s the thing, I really can’t tell you.” Maybe she didn’t have to. Maybe Zoe would understand anyway.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… ok, so some things happened in my life that… really kind of messed me up. And it was really bad for a long time. I’m mostly fine now, but sometimes I just get reminded and that’s what happened the other day and I just… I couldn’t…” She trailed off.

“Hey, if you’re dealing with something, you can just tell me that, okay? You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong. I’m here for you either way.”

“Thanks,” Rachel said. “I’m just not ready to talk about it yet. Maybe someday I’ll tell you.”

“In the meantime, tell those ghosts I said to leave you alone,” Zoe said. It took Rachel a second to remember she had used ghosts as a metaphor. “And if you need space, I’m cool with that too. But do me a favor and tell me that next time, ok?”

“Ok. Sorry I worried you.”

“I’m just glad you’re ok,” Zoe said. “And that you still want to be my friend.”

“Of course I do!” Rachel said. “You and Aaron are the first people in a long time I feel comfortable being friends with.”

Zoe laughed. “Wow, so glad to be in an exclusive club with Aaron,” she said.

“Seriously! He’s a great guy,” Rachel said. “Over the top, sure, but really genuine.”

“Oh, speaking of Aaron, did you ever find out if--”

“Hey!” Rachel cut her off. “Um. Remember the thing I said before, about not being able to explain? That again, but can we not talk about Sherlock? I don’t know how to tell you why, but I just really don’t want to.”

“Okay…” Zoe sounded confused. Of course she did. Nothing Rachel was saying made sense.

“Oh and hey, Zoe?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for reaching out to me,” Rachel said. “That was a really thoughtful voicemail, and um, I know you said it on accident but I think it’s perfectly fine to tell your friends you love them.”

“Oh my gods,” Zoe groaned. “That was so embarrassing…”

“No, I thought it was sweet!”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I’m not. It means a lot to me,” Rachel insisted.

“Well um. You’re welcome, I guess.” There was a long moment of silence, then Zoe broke it. “So um, do you mind hearing a story about Violet? Will that bother you?”

“I would love to hear a story about Violet,” Rachel said. Zoe was so considerate. Why had Rachel been nervous to talk to her again?

Zoe launched into her story, and Rachel forgot everything she had been worried about. She forgot all the trouble about a potential relationship and her past and Blair coming to pester her about moving and just thought about Zoe, and how nice it was to have a supportive friend to talk to and to hear stories from.

“...so now she’s got a whole group of people convinced, and I don’t even know how to start undoing all that damage,” Zoe wrapped up. “Blair thinks it’s hilarious, though, so at least that.”

“That’s great,” Rachel said. “Um, I should go actually. I think my parents wanted to go out to dinner or something.”

“Ok,” Zoe said. “Well it was nice actually talking to you.”

“Yeah! We should do it again. At some point. If you want.”

“I’d like that.” She could hear Zoe smiling through the phone.

“Well, goodnight. I love you.”

“Oh my gods, stop it,” Zoe said. “I’m never living that down, am I?”

Rachel had said it as a joke, but she realized that no matter how she felt about romance or relationships or long distance or whatever else, she did love having Zoe as a person in her life. And that had to be enough justification, right? But she didn’t say any of that-- because she had a feeling, or maybe a hope, that Zoe already knew. Instead she just said, “Nope!”

“Love you too,” Zoe said, as if to confirm everything Rachel hadn’t said. “Bye.” She hung up.

With just one phone call, Rachel felt that warm feeling again. Like she did at the Goodwill buying the jackets. And in the back of Zoe’s van on the way to Miami. And on the beach at sunrise.

For a second, she almost considered Blair’s proposition.

------

The next time Blair showed up at the store, she didn’t even ask about Rachel moving. She just went straight for froyo and conversation. Rachel had a sneaking suspicion that Blair was actually starting to like talking to her. (She did know a lot about mythology, even if a lot of that came from Percy Jackson.)

“So Blair,” Rachel said, after they had been talking for a little while. “You’re like an all powerful goddess, right?”

Blair narrowed her eyes. “Of course…”

“How much control do all-powerful goddesses have over the internet?”

“That’s absurd. As much as we want.”

“I wasn’t doubting you!” Rachel assured her. “Just asking.”

“Well, are you ‘just asking’ for your own amusement, or did you need something from me?” Blair looked at her expectantly. Rachel took a deep breath. The idea had come to her suddenly, and she thought it just might work. A way to get one step farther away from her past.

“Do you think you could delete some videos for me?”

#tajwash #ohhey tajwash is actually semi more relevant in this one lol #hamdam #blairgp #I am committed to finishing this dang fic if it kills me #I'm actually quite pleased with this chapter even though I've gone totally out the window with my schedule #mine

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briteboy · 7 years

Photo

MORE ASKS I’VE BEEN IGNORING!!!!!!!

GET ‘EM WHILE THEY’RE HOT

P.S. ALL OF U WHO SENT ME THE CHAIN THINGY ILYSOMUCH

Why is her step-douche such a foken piece of shit? omg i hate him

some mysteries are never meant to be explained tbh. why is he so ugly and evil? who wronged him? but also who cares he’s in jail forever now good riddance ugly

I know this is probably really bad, but after I saw the newest molly posts, I thought of that video where the little girl is yelling "MISS KEISHA, MISS KEISHA, oh my fukin gosh she fukin dead"

OMFGFD I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THAT VIDEO WAS SO I JUST WATCHED IT AND I’M LAUGHIN

i don’t blame u i bet when it happens i’m gonna be like “u know she ded”

(To the previous anon) i agree with you so, so much! In Poland, these dumbass politicians are letting shooting pregnant bisons (?? Im not sure how they're called) become legal. Like BITCH WHAT. Can you imagine??? A fucking pregnant lil' cow getting shot????? I feel Molly's pain on an emotional level rn (sorry if this is too nsfw, just needed to get that outta my system...)

i think this was in response to someone saying that hurting pregnant women is one of the worst crimes but um WTF shooting animals at all makes me itchy but pregnant ones..............nah that’s......nah

it’s ok get it outta ur system i’m here 4 u

the first thing I check in the morning is your account.... you have me whipped! ;|

OMG WHA LMAO REALLY that’s wild. i feel like i’m the only one who looks at my page which is dumb but like idk i still feel like a little kid that no one cares about lmao. but then you guys exist and amaze me with your responsiveness every day and i just ;____________; ily all

hi Sunny. first of all i'm gonna say i love your story and your editing style so much! your blog is goals like literally. i need an advice if you don't mind. you always find such amazing angles for your pictures while mine are so boring. any tips or tricks you can share?

HI thank you so much ;-; sooooo i’ve been thinking about this question the past couple of times i went in game, trying to figure out how to describe how i take pictures. for one thing i live in tab mode lmao. meaning you press the tab button on your keyboard to go into camera mode and get all these sexy angles and super zoom and stufffff. i almost always zoom in super far idk why. so there’s one tip. i honestly just play around with going up and down with the q and e keys (i think?) until i find angles i like. i take a lottttt of pictures with so many different angles just so i have a lot to choose from. basically i try to focus on different things in each picture in order to get a mix of the most diverse and dynamic shots possible. you just need to experiment and get creative. i know that’s the most vague advice ever but really just try a new angle that you’ve never considered before and i bet you’ll get cool results. an interesting setting is also the biggest factor, because certain objects and their placements will give you interesting results.

i honestly want to print out your reaction pic to that one post and just hang it on my wall, put it in my heart locket necklace, stamp it on people's faces, start an email thread with it. i love it.

an add on to the last ask i sent about your reaction pic. i've been looking at it religiously since it was posted, and i dont regret a minute of it. LMAO I'LL STOP NOW.

SAKJDLJKGKSDAF STOPPPP LMAOOO i looked so ugly but that was my pure unadulterated reaction to that question and i trust you all to not judge my ugliness and instead share this reaction with me. i’m glad u liked it that much, i just printed it out and i’m cutting it into a small heart to put inside ur locket ok

everytime i hear cigarette daydreams by cage the elephant i think of a serious case of the novembers like its so fitting and then i get all emo when i listen to it lmao rip

OMMMMGGGGGGG YESSSSS how have i never made that connection before honestly. cage the elephant is one of my faves and i’ve seen them perform twice actually!! i’m watching the music vid for that song now and even that reminds me of my story ;-; i cry

thank you for sending this, and also i cry @ the fact that you used the actual title *dies* now this song is gonna make me emo til the end of time thx

i might sound like some crazy stalker fan but i just want to say you are so freakin awesome and nice and funny and cute and (i can go on forever) so caring! i love your blog so much and all the hard work and care you put into all your posts and followers. thanks for making my day and making me smile so much. you have no clue how much i look forward to seeing your posts and your hilarious hashtags and answers from asks and AMAZING story posts. im sorry i just wanted to let you know ur awesome ily

OFMG WHAT!!!!!! I AM ONLY AN EEL!!!!!! but no you don’t sound like a crazy stalker, i actually love this, you’re too sweet, thank you ;-; i’m just blushin so much reading this omg. YOU EVEN LIKE MY TAGS WOW that’s true love. ily ;-; <333

how do you get your sims' facial expressions to line up with your scenes? I feel like my sims' faces are never right :(

tbh i just use a lot of the same neutral poses...my go-to’s are @helgatisha‘s poses lol. they’re the easiest to work with when i do just plain talking scenes, and often i tweak my sims’ eyebrows and mouths with the liquify tool if i want them to look a bit more concerned, sad, mad, happy, etc., it works like a charm!! i also tend to play around with angles, you’d be surprised how much a different angle can enhance a scene.

Hey smol bean, I'm sent you an ask and now I feel bad that it probably made you feel anxious because you didn't answer it. It was the one about you not liking my posts, I have anxiety too so I'm sorry If I made you feel sad. I think I'm just looking for validation from people I look upto you get me? Anyway sorry again, don't worry about it! Love you!

hiya bb, i know you saw my answer to your original post (and i’m sorry it got some negative attention, i didn’t mean for that to happen by any means) anyway don’t sweat it, and i really appreciate this follow-up message. you didn’t make me feel sad, i just wanna know what i can do. it’s just a hard question y’know. i understand what you mean, i think everyone wants validation to some degree. tbh you can just come off anon and message me, i promise it’s not as nerve-wracking as it seems! ily

How did you make Santi's tattoos? I want some like that for my Sims but idk how to do it

boop

I HAVE A FEELING THAT MOLLY IS GOING TO DIE DURING THE BIRTH OF THE BEAN OR IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH HER STEPFATHER FINDING OUT ABOUT THE BEAN

WELP U WERE RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING

how did you make your characters page on your blog like that?

uoohhh like what?? i used this theme (monolog) if that’s what you mean aheh. here’s a guide on how to use custom page themes

okay so THIS IS MY THEORY: they might keep the baby and molly might actually carry it to full term, but then the kid dies in childbirth and either molly also dies or maybe kills herself or gets killed later? or maybe she's still alive but just won't speak to santi anymore cause she like can't look him in the eye after all of that or idk?? since ppl were sending theories i wanted to add mine lmao. another possible theory is that the stepdad finds out and kills her but thats TOO DARK omg

TOO DARK U SAY...WELL!!! it’s not AS dark as you guessed but only marginally

If Molly turns out to be alive and raising their kid alone (though from what I'm seeing in response to most questions I think that may not be the route) am I allowed to slap Santi (unless Molly didn't give him the option to help) because raising a child alone is not easy I've watched my mom do it for years.

YEAH i would give you permission to slap him lmao he would be a grade A piece o’ shit if that were the case. i would never ever write that tho because santi does own up to his actions if they’re that detrimental. his altruistic nature, no matter how backwards, would never allow him to do that.

There will be complication with the abortion so she will not be able to carry a baby anymore and she's going to kill herself OR her step dad is going to find out and he'll beat her to death. And in both situation Santi his blaming himself because he wasn't there at the right time... Okay I really really hope I'm wrong now !

I don't even follow your story very closely but every time I see your posts my heart hurts.

OMFG...that’s how u know the pain is real

but like wow my stuff is really so visceral that even my apathetic followers can feel the hurt...that’s real...that’s real my guy

omg!! you should 100% play or at least watch a playthrough of life is strange! legit the best game ever made, its so beautiful. the storyline kills you a thousand times over (much like your beautiful story) <3333

yaaaa i’ve heard lots of good things about it!! my bf played it actually, maybe he’ll revisit it again someday and i’ll watch him do it (i’m only a fan of video games if i can watch them like a movie lmao) thank you btw <3

I am shook and I worship you and your story and you are amazing WOW BYE

WORSHIP LMAO WHAT!!! PLS I AM UNDESERVING...ily tho don’t worship false gods

Do you let Molly and the younger versions of your characters frolic around your main save or do they have a separate one?

UM YES LMAO because i didn’t even know you could have separate saves until after i started the flashbacks lmao i’m...a noob. i don’t want separate saves anyway because 1) it’s too much of a hassle switching back and forth and 2) it gets too confusing for me and i’d be afraid of overwriting one save with another and NOPE too much anxiety for that soooo yeah there’s three santis in my game: child, teen and adult lmfao (fun fact: teen santi’s name is literally just Lil Santi)

I made it to my senior year with 6 A's and 1 B ... Be proud of me too? 😂 Lmao I told this to people and some of them were just like .. okay cool?! LMAO it's so funny but also kinda sad

I AM PROUD OF YOU TOO!!!!!!!!! my smart childrens

“okay cool” UM PLEASE that’s a feat...at my school if you got an A in a class in senior year you were allowed to be exempt from the final. so yeah that rules. ily

#nonsims #saviorhide #anonymous #THEY ARE DONE #FINALLY #EXCEPT WCIFS LOL DON'T...don't hate me #i try

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tumblunni · 7 years

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Man its so weird to think back and see how many signs there were that I was transgender long before I realized it. I was SO fucking oblivious, I had no clue that being nonbinary was even an option, all I knew was 'well I don't wanna be the opposite gender but I don't wanna be the one I was assigned at birth'. (Except obviously I didn't even know the correct words to describe it) And like... I bought into A LOT of horrible transphobic bullshit, cos I was raised with a biased view of what being transgender even is. 'Trans-sexual people are turned on by wearing women's clothes'. Ugh. And I was completely disgusted by it, since I'm a sex repulsed asexual and everything about foreplay or whatever disgusts me. My parents and pop culture and stuff all treated it like trans people were the equivelant of someone into BDSM wearing nipple clamps out in public or something. 'Well in theory I have nothing against them having that kink, but why do they have to show it in public?' Being trans was ALWAYS only shown as 'oo kinky I like to crossdress in the bedroom', as if it was a fucking sexuality, as if there was NO OTHER REASON why someone would wanna wear the 'wrong' clothes and use the 'wrong' pronouns. I felt viscerally disgusted at myself whenever I didn't want to wear my birth gender's cliche outfits, I denied absolutely everything cos I didn't want people to think I was a pervert. I didn't even know it was POSSIBLE to be transgender and asexual, or even that being transgender wasn't the same as being gay! I said SO MUCH fucking horrible transphobic and homophobic stuff as a kid, just parroting what I was told, and overcompensating for hating myself by making it clear I hated everyone remotely similar to me. While being in huge denial that they were similar to me! And I'm gonna carry these regrets forever and always worry that I stopped someone else from feeling comfortable about theirself and just... GAHH! And I did all the same too about parroting stereotypes of 'crazy people' and 'r*tards' before I learned that this big ol stereotype about autism was bullshit and real autistic people look EXACTLY LIKE MYSELF It just makes me think a lot about how many other people out there might be trans and not have the ability to find out because they've been buried so utterly in this false, bigoted image of what a trans person actually is. Tho also I hate the dumb stereotype that 'all homophobes are secretly gay', like seriously wtf why u wanna escape all responsibility for your actions and say the only problem is gay people systemically oppressing THEMSELVES... ANYWAY I went off on a sad train of thought there but back to the point! I'm just remembering this one part of a school trip that was like one of my most treasured memories for no logical reason until I realised I was trans. I met a new classmate and he mistook me for the opposite gender, and I was like 'HOLY SHIT WHY AM I HAPPY' until someone else 'corrected' him. I mean.. I knew I wasn't that gender either, but it felt like a weight off my shoulders to at least be misgendered the opposite way for once. I felt inexplicably happy that I was looking ambiguous enough to even be in question! And this was when I was like 11, I had no clue what word to even assign to these feelings... And I mean, it was SO DUMB that I never noticed these signs! This is what internalized transphobia does to you! Like 'hey there's probably no reason at all why I always play as a different gender ever time I buy a pokemon game, and get this self hatey feeling in my gut when both options have very stereotypically gendered costumes'. And 'wow there sure is no reason why I got inexplicably attached to this genderless character and can't stop thinking about ways to prove they aren't real'. Seriously all that debate about 'quina is really a girl/boy' with weird evidence in stat builds and equip items and stuff! I got REALLY into that transphobic bullshit cos it was something that shook up my perception of the world and I felt like if not being either gender was ACTUALLY AN OPTION then id have to address painful things about myself. If I knew I could be that, I couldn't keep lying to myself. So I went in aggressive denial mode and missed this chance to come out of the closet at like 9 years old and save myself a damn lot of trouble! And then I just went through the same bullshit at 14 with Chrona from Soul Eater, and could not explain why on earth I was so upset that the English dub assigned them a random gender instead of translating it properly... And OH MAN how fucking dysphoric I was about puberty even before I knew that dysphoria was a thing! It was like 'hey look you're growing up!' 'NO IM NOT DEAR GOD NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN'. And that led to this stupid thing of me just saying 'well I have the mental age of a seven year old LOL' to excuse whenever I acted 'weird'. My forum avatar and stuff was a doodle of myself in chibi form, etc. (Even literally wearing chest binding... I only knee at the time that it was 'a martial arts thing' tho.) Like, I'd got all these messages that not wanting sex was 'childish' and not wanting my body to change was obviously 'immature', and when I was undiagnosed with mental illness and trying yo make up excuses for how I TOTALKY didn't have a mental illness, all I could say was 'ha ha I'm totally uhh... Doing it on purpose? Cos I'm so... Quirky?' I got obsessed with overacting as a class clown, cos I mean you can also excuse cross dressing as a thing that 'the comic relief character' does... And OH MAN, like my big Special Interest throughout all of high school was Norse myth, more specifically Loki. I was FASCINATED with the idea of a shape shifter who could be either gender, and was completely unashamed about it. And, of course, I used to play it off as 'ha ha isn't it so funny he turned into a girl', when I seriously did not have any clue WHY it was funny, I just thought I had to say it. It HAD to be the reason I was so sympathetic yo this character, right? Because he's A FUNNY JOKE?? And man then I got so obsessed with researching non gendered English pronouns from the 18th century and championing how they should totally come back into modern language and EVEN THEN I was in denial! It took until I played Magical Diary to realise 'well fuck I'm trans'. It took a game outright saying that these genderless pronouns arent just 'to be inclusive of both genders' but can be used for A THIRD GENDER, A GENDERLESS GENDER, A BOTH AND/OR NEITHER GENDER!! A game saying that this gender does exist in human beings, and EVEN THEN I took ages to be sure that it was really real and not just a fantasy thing that the game made up. I mean, quina was totally only genderless cos they're a magical creature, right? (Completely ignoring the fact that the other two members of that magical creature town are both male...) And just.... AAAAAAA I feel like I'm the human personification of that 'no Patrick, put it on the lid' meme No, you're trans. No, TRANS. Trans, bunni! TRANS!! This is what societal prejudices do to people. Even LGBTQ people usually grow up within homophobic, transphobic society, absorbing all the same messages. It destroys our ability to be okay with being ourselves... Its so fucking sad that this happened to me, and it hurts even more to think of all the times I said insensitive offensive stuff to other LGBTQ people back when I thought I was cis and straight... Gahhhh... ALSO, it makes me extra sad that Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2 never got released in Europe. There's a character there called Arno who's NB and very out about it, and the English translators didn't make a mess of it, or anything. People actually call Arno 'they', and literally their catchphrase is 'Are you a boy or a girl?' 'I'm just a child of the wind~' Like seriously NO ambiguity, character actually getting to dish out sick burns when being misgendered, absolutely NO room for the ol 'well they just don't MENTION a gender, it doesn't mean they were intended to be nonbinary' excuse. Arno outright stating 'I am not a boy, and I an not a girl'. And your protagonist respecting it! Arno is still my absolute fave best handled nonbinary character in all of games. And the summon night series is very inclusive with a lot of gay romance options! Its a shame tho that the only other game with a nonbinary character was never dubbed even in america. But apparently the protags of previous games get a cameo in the upcoming Summon Night 6 which finally will be released in Europe! I just hope they handle Corlal's pronouns respectfully, considering how they managed to do it so well a decade ago with Arno. But then again the Swordcraft Story series is a spinoff so the main games might have different translators? Anyway, let me hug my tiny enby dragon child! Also I'm sad the cellphone app trading card game never got dubbed either, cos Corlal got some cute cards for the valentine's day event. All three dragon kids just got adorable scenes making platonic family chocolate for their siblings cos they're too young to really participate. And they thankfully got super cute totally non-lolicon maid and butler outfits like SERIOUSLY THANK GOD FOR THAT! Just cute ten year olds playing dressup like normal kids. Corlal got two cards for that one! Them being nonbinary continues to be 100% canon, they got a version with both a dress and a tuxedo. AND ITS SO FUCKING CUTE MY GOD ...man I'm sorry this just went off topic into how great that series is But anyway! If I've ever said anything that offends you, please message me about it! I'm still unlearning a lot of internalized prejudice. Also if you want a quality nonbinary werewolf in a cool side scrolling GBA jrpg, look for Arno! Im on mobile rite now so I can't send links n stuff, but as soon as I finish moving my PC desk to the other room I shall spam you all with my obscure fandom's!!!

#i wanna draw quina and arno meeting each other #tho the protag in corlal's game is a chef so it could be hilarious if theyre like 'mom what happened to your face'#and then protag and quina have a giant death spoons duel

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