#I want to uninstall myself from life

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Guess who forgot to backup they’re mods folder before uninstalling the sims 4 and didn’t notice until they reinstalled the game for the new mobility aids update

#i’m going to fucking cry #I’m on my period to #I want to uninstall myself from life

[coffeeflavored-tears]

i wish i wasn’t poor :(

#i wanna bleach and cut my hair and i need polish for my docs cuz they’re getting fucked up and i really need some more shoes that are comfy #like for 8 hour work shifts but i don’t have th money for that #i really need to uninstall doordash but like :/ #wait actually i’m gonna do that now brb #okay doordash gone 👍 #and i have to take off next sunday cuz i’m going out of town and then in two weeks i gotta take more time off cuz my parents are out of town #and i only work weekends so that’s like. 40% of my month’s work yknow #and i wanna start doing eyeliner and i need to pitch in to help my mom fix her car #and i still need to take driving lessons cuz that’s a thing #and i really need more clothes cuz i wear the same pair of jeans to work every weekend #and i want a binder not like i could have one anyway cuz of my parents but i want one #and i wanted a keyboard so i could practice for piano class outside of school but i can’t have that cuz those are expensive as fuck #and gas prices are going up so when i do learn to drive i’m gonna need to pay for gas #and that’s gonna be sh it #and god i just fucking hate this #cuz i am not picking up more shifts at work cuz the only time i have for myself is after work and after school #and they aren’t taking my after school hours away from me #anyway. hate life hate being poor but i deleted doordash so that should help 👍 #now as long as no one i watch releases merch i should be fine to exist in peace #my post #vent ig

[artsekey]

Thinking about the time I lost a game of Overwatch and I was so mad about it that I genuinely considered getting into shit with the other team in chat and then realized that it was a colossal waste of my living breathing Human Time and uninstalled Overwatch instead because it was only making me angry.

And then thought about the OTHER time when I was on TikTok and realized I was Not Enjoying Myself and was, in fact, seeing so many sad videos and fake influencer ads that I felt Truly Despondent and then just…Deleted it.

Imo I want my social media /general media experience to be a pleasant break from real world and I get to decide what I get to cull to make that a reality for myself. I highly reccomended it! Life has improved considerably!

#look not having social medias is not My Personality #however like. no twitter. no insta. no tiktok. #do I know anything???? no. #am I up to date on literally anything pop-culture????? also no #and if that stuff’s important to you absolutely stick with it! #maybe this is a direct reaction to growing up terminally online from 2012 onward but i am freeeeee #it’s honestly made a huge difference in my life! i CAN just say no to these apps that want to suck all my time away!!!!

[misskirisame]

.

#it's a really bad night for missing my source material #i hoped a year ago id be feeling better. now we're here and im really not #am i ever going to get rid of this ache. it hurts so fucking much. i just want to see my friends again #it's days like this i want to just uninstall everything social media wise and cut everyone off and then never come back to the internet #like i swear so much of my misery spawns from the people i meet online and how my life is in general #i want a simple life again so badly. back in my home in the woods not really worrying about shit too much #i mean yeah i had issues but god it wasnt like this. it wasnt anything like this. #moments like this also make me hate being a system kinda. not really but also idk i want my own life again. but also idm at the same time #bro idk #we'd all happily live my life from before tbf LOL if i did just go ahead and try to shape things different to make myself happier.. hm yk #idk. idk idk idk. im just unhappy. horribly unhappy. even the fucking modernity of street lights and shit bothers me now. #i hate trying to sleep and hearing loudass cars outside and i hate the artificial lighting CONSTANTLY #it makes me appreciate that we lived in the countryside previously that much more. ya bitch actually had a natural sleep cycle to rely on #and it was like that back home too... #i feel like a fucking 'born in the wrong generation' kid for saying that lmao but yeah take me back to the weird 1800s fantasy world #i hate it here #i vent a lot on this blog i apologise

[carpedzem]

hi

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

[hpowellsmith]

Hello there! I've been wanting to replay the older Baldur's Gate games, and was searching around for mlm NPC romance mods. I saw yours mentioned and found your site with some googling, but it seems the place they were hosted at is gone now (Spellhold Studios). I was wondering if you still have the mods available somewhere? Either way, I hope you have a great day!

OK, this has made go down a modding-community rabbit hole! I hadn't done anything with our Baldur's Gate 2 mods, or looked at them really, since 2015 and I really appreciate it because they're something that brought my wife and I a ton of joy, and they were the first interactive narratives I made.

Links, descriptions, and comments below because it is Long:

I got in touch with folks on the Gibberlings3 forum which is, wonderfully, still going strong, and have given permission for Faren and Nathaniel to be uploaded to the Spellhold Studios GitHub (which has a bunch of other mods too - do check out Adrian, Isra, and Ninde in particular!) to the team maintaining it. That may be a little while as some of the team are ill right now, but once I hear that it's done, I'll post about it here; I've also been pointed to some links where the mods were mirrored. Note that I haven't tested these myself on a current BG2 install, but it is easy to uninstall WeiDU mods if there's a problem.

Faren is a bisexual True Neutral fighter/thief (I can't remember if he's dual-classed or multi-classed) who's easygoing, down-to-earth, and up for partying, with a bit of a checkered past - his adventuring party died in one of the dungeons you can visit in BG2, and since then he's been picking up dodgy jobs, feeling a bit adrift, and trying to get his life back on track. That's where the PC comes in! You can befriend him or romance him (starting with either a casual or more committed tone, then committing further if you want to), and he has a personal quest in which a shady figure from his past wants him to do one last job. He was our third mod, and we'd developed our skills with writing and scope a lot by then. When I play BG2, I play with Faren! You can currently download Faren here. It's the version updated in 2015 with more banters with modded NPCs and the Enhanced Edition characters; there may be compatibility issues installing it with other newer mods but do give it a try.

I found The Luxley Family, which was our second mod, on the GitHub here. From a cursory (rusty) glance it looks like it should be compatible with Enhanced Edition, but the storyline is only for Shadows of Amn and doesn't continue into Throne of Bhaal. Sebastian and Andrei (Chaotic Neutral bard with a custom kit and Lawful Neutral monk respectively) are members of a mysterious, reclusive family who are under a curse. Sebastian's a worldly playwright who's showing his polite but moody teenage cousin Andrei the sights when they bump into the PC. They aren't romanceable, but you can have a fling with Sebastian, who's bisexual, if you let/help him mess up his life sufficiently.

Nathaniel is a Lawful Good gay fighter with a lot of feelings. He was our first mod and I am really proud of the impact he had on a lot of people and even other games back in the day, but if you play, go in expecting a LOT of feelings good and bad, relationship drama, and angst! (There's something very sad about the fact that as teens we could not imagine a D&D setting without homophobia back then; the idea of a knightly order thinking well of gay people just didn't cross our minds. it's extraordinary how much better a lot of things are now, including the queerness in D&D streams, books, and of course Baldur's Gate 3. Interestingly, we didn't include homophobia in the Luxley Family or Faren and I don't remember how conscious that was; maybe we'd become more hopeful by then.) You can download an outdated version of Nathaniel here but I don't think it will be compatible with Enhanced Edition.

Thank you so much for messaging! I didn't realise they weren't able to be downloaded anymore and I am really keen for digital art to be preserved (as well as players getting to smooch hot guys, of course).

(Digression - my wife and I have a couple of almost-finished mods on our computer: a lesbian cleric of Talos which she wrote, and a bi Valygar romance that I wrote. And, if it's among two computers' ago worth of external hard drive storage, the ending for the Luxley Family story. Who knows, maybe one day...)

#baldur's gate 2 #bg2 #I used to be very selfconscious and cringe about Nathaniel even though I knew people enjoyed him #but now I feel rather more chill about the whole thing #strangers have told me they enjoyed Nathaniel or he meant something to them and that just makes me melt #and we are all a bit cringe some of the time #(most of the time in my case)

[trickscourse]

Station | Early 20's | nig/ger* if your stalking me, it/its if your not.

Please don't talk about my family/accident or my trauma in any way, thanks!

Telling me to go to hell or to kill myself also makes me super uncomfortable!

Not a mod of @stationrebuttal and Arty is NOT my friend and needs to FUCK OFF.

I was never innocent in this, I just want to be left alone.

it sure would be nice if people on the internet were normal about me for a change, but that can't happen in biden's america.

I don't want to have a discourse blog as an adult with a job and irl friends. I took this URL from someone who was besties with my groomer.

Currently I'm off tungle and uninstalled the app, I logged in and made this post from a browser I installed before fucking right on off. I have better things to do with my time and energy than "harass" people and run art through AI.

If anyone wants me to apologize or to talk, or to tell me to kill myself, the DMs and ask box are open. I'm attempting to turn over a new leaf and get better.

I use the words "I" and "we" interchangeably because I have the Cringe Disorder™ some of my posts will sound different than others.

For some reason you think you live in my town or know me IRL and you see me on a regular basis, shoot me a message so I can try to actively avoid you. I want to grow and change as a person and someone stalking me isn't going to help with that.

*= If you don't use the slur pronouns you're misgendering me. The auxiliary is to not talk about me and leave me alone. It was a joke until it wasn't.

At some point I may make text posts on here and if I do please don't fucking screenshot them. If we knew each other pre-pandemic I probably don't remember you.

Any and all questions people send me here I'll answer honestly.

@rimurutempest heres proof my shithead abusive mother DID know about things.

Love how you twisted things when I said you disrespected my boundary on blocking me without talking first because you wouldn't let me speak.

Making a funny little wall of "achievements"

Got swatted by tumblr user bog scales for being uninvolced with people disliking her 02/14/24

Awarded "Biggest Victim Complex 1992 by a 33yo man who identifies as a yandere.

Mayor of Clown Town and voted kinblr's favorite punching bag since 2017

I got groomed by Russell Thalassomania in 2015 and all I got was this stupid traumagenic disorder.

Runner up for "problematic fave for not being able to background check every blog that it interacts with" and "Sometimes people can lie about things, especially immoral things" in 6th and 4th place.

On 3+ DNIs and counting.

In all seriousness, the callout and archiving my "wrongdoings" that's just a long ass series of "he said she said" screenshots in a google doc for 5+ years is obsessive and creepy. Please get a fucking life and let me live mine.

#tricksterexe #haupkmn #text post #cuppytowncity

[degloved]

the crazy thing abt twitter n the main reason i'm three seconds from uninstalling it is the fact that apropos of fucking nothing you'll open it to a tl full of the most inane nonsensical childish petty beef spanning six callout posts and 12 A4 pages worth of discord screenshots between people you've never heard of in your life n it's always some dumb fandom bullshit heavily intertwined with personal issues n it's like. there's only so many words you can mute and accounts you can block. and even then you'll get something entirely different the second you get rid of the existing issues. how the fuck do yall live when you're constantly bombared with "umm is anyone gonna talk about [the most batshit insane take you've ever heard of in your life]" "after months of silence i'm ready to expose [a fourteen year old acting like a fourteen year old]" "moots following [allegedly problematic account] i see you ://" "so when are we gonna acknowledge that fans of [an antagonist] are deeply distributed individuals" like sorry but two scrolls in and i already want to kill myself

#n

[spiral-wizard]

48 days sober today yipppeeeee more thoughts under cut ⬇️

big thing my sick brain didn't want me to know about being sober is that it isn't really subtracting anything from my day-to-day. if anything it is adding time, money, headspace back into my life that was previously taken up by addiction

quitting alcohol in 2020 was easy for me bc it wasn't a big part of my life anyway. but for so long i talked myself out of quitting weed because i worried that i would feel its absence too much, like i'd be missing out on experiences i would otherwise be having. and idk maybe that could have been true in the past but at this point in my life it's really quite the opposite. really feels like i uninstalled a spammy program that was using up a lot of my brain's bandwidth

obviously everyone's different and i don't mean to make it sound like the process of getting sober is easy (it isn't) or downplay the immensity of that experience (it's huge) for anyone. honestly i don't think my journey toward it started when i quit cold turkey in december - i had spent the last few years him-hawing around about it to the point where when i finally moved ahead with it my brain was like "ohhh noooo you have foudn my secret,,,, smoking weed everyd ay is not neccessary for ur survival adn emotional regulation,,,,,,,, woooops sowwyyyy....." and i was like ok fuck off. i will sit thru all this brain fog if you'll just shut up already. and now i'm coming to u live from the other side with breaking news: sobriety is cool and chill👍

#cw addiction #cw drugs #sobriety #:-) #word processing

[lovesick-boyz]

hi.

well… after being stalked and harassed for the past couple of months, i am finally back!! stay tuned lol i got some fics lined up for y’all 😁

anyway if you read that first line and thought to yourself “WTF?!?”, here is the full story for my curious readers (just a warning, it’s long and i rant a lot):

a couple of months ago, i started getting tagged by random accs on tiktok and insta that posted vids accusing me of the most random and heinous shit. honestly, it just baffled me the first time i saw them bc they made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

when the first ones popped up, i just blocked them thinking it was a random troll and went on with my life.

but then i kept getting spammed by other accs with new posts where they not only involved me but also my friends, and accused us as a friend group of being horrible ppl.

i had enough (i can’t even remember how many accs i blocked) and deleted ALL my social media apps for a while (i.e. more than a couple of months, oops) and basically isolated myself from ppl so that i could focus on other things to distract me (i ended up making daily exercise a habit so ig that’s one good thing that’s come out of this lol, i also rewatched all the marvel movies in timeline order hehe). i wish i continued writing so i could’ve at least had more content to share by now, but i was feeling so negative and pissed that i couldn’t even bring myself to write anything (i even uninstalled notion from my phone and that’s where i keep all my drafts and fic ideas)

i only found out the full situation less than a week ago when i reinstalled tiktok bc i missed it, only to find more burner accs harassing me. i finally had enough so i reinstalled insta to rant about it on my spam acc for my friends to see and to my surprise a couple of them knew who it was and explained the whole situation to me.

it was my first time interacting with ppl outside of my family in months lol, when i tell y’all i isolated myself i really did mean it 🙃 my irl friends didn’t even know anything out of the ordinary was happening bc i’m notorious in my friend group for going off the grid for months at a time bc of how bad my mental health gets sometimes, they know to just let me be and let me deal with it alone bc they understand that’s how i work best. (they won’t see this bc they don’t know this tumblr exists but i wanna apologise to my dear friends for my disappearing acts, my bad, i love y’all for being so understanding and still being my friend after all this time 🫶🏼)

anyway, it turns out the culprit was this guy that my friend had rejected previously and he’s so bitter and hateful that he decided to harass me bc he knew i was one of her bffs (the ppl he targeted were the ones in her closest friend group which included me)

but here’s the kicker: I’VE ONLY TALKED TO THIS GUY TWICE!! AND EACH TIME WE TALKED FOR LESS THAN 5 MINS ABOUT IRRELEVANT SHIT!!! WHY AM I INVOLVED?? YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!!

when my friend found out she was so surprised and appalled that he was harassing me too, bc him, my friend, and the other ppl he targeted all go to the same college together (and i’m the only one in the friend group that goes to a different college, so to reiterate once again: this guy barely knows me! the last time we spoke was at my friends bday party 3 years ago!! he’s literally insane!)

she knew he was harassing my other friends since they’re all in the same school and know him in person, she didn’t think i would be involved too and i couldn’t believe i was.

anyway, i just wanted to rant about this whole thing bc i’m having a hard time processing it tbh. i hope that guy rots in hell and also finds a job there bc he was acting hella unemployed like who has time for this? he made me feel so confused and paranoid for weeks and i hope he gets all the karma he deserves in the universe.

y’all wanna know something funny tho? i started writing a changmin stalker fic in june, way before this whole situation happened. life imitates art ig 🤪 anyway i finally finished it and i’m gonna release that fic next after i fine tune it, at least now it’ll be somewhat realistic lmaoooo

#cupid speaks #literally the most ridiculous thing that’s ever happened to me #i went from having the most fun time in 🇵🇭 only to come back to this #i should’ve stayed at my grandma’s house that had no wifi for the rest of the summer instead 😒 #anyways i’m going to sleep i’ll check back in the morning

[rubbcrhosemoved]

Hey.

I’m sorry for randomly disappearing. I’m still here I swear. It wasn’t my intention to make anyone worry. Things have just got bad. So bad that I almost did something I would have probably regretted. I’m still here though. I’m not going anywhere. I talked to my doctor about everything that I’ve been experiencing and she feels one of my medications might be the cause of how erratic my moods have been. I’ll be going in soon to go over them and see which one I’ll need to stop taking.

As for what I want to do with things going forward, I’m not quite sure... I would like to continue writing here or on any of blogs really but lately I haven’t felt a desire to mostly because of how things feel here. I thought once the bullying and harassment stopped that things would get better and for awhile there it did, but now it just feels bad here and it was part of why I got so depressed plus other factors currently going on in my life. So as of right now... I don’t know what to do.

I signed out of everything and uninstalled Discord just to isolate myself from things until I felt well enough to talk to others again as well as write and draw. I’ve seen your messages though and I greatly appreciate those that reached out to me. Again I’m sorry I made you worry. Once I get to feeling a semblance of normality again, I’ll install Discord and talk to people again. For now I just think it’s best if I keep to myself for a bit.

Regardless, I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry for letting things get to this point. I’ll try harder and keep going. That’s all I wanted to say for now.

#RAMBLES ➡

[omensgate]

fav campaign and why

<this is YOUR invitation to send me asks about anything>

oh god im no good at having feelings or opinions so ill just go down a list rattling off my experiences with the campaigns

for the record from the start ive been cheating, ive Never played this game blind. id consumed a lot of rain world playthrough medias before playing it (im not good at playing games in the sense that i simply do not experience them- im a speedrunner at heart... or not competitive or intelligent, im just walking fast paced from start to end...) and when i did play i always had a map and the wiki open which i think diminishes some of the feeling. but i still had fun moving from place to place

SURVIVOR: its classic. its sweet. its fun. i played about halfway through myself, but the second half i completed with my "Boyfriend" so i remember it as being very entertaining as we both fumbled around and learned together. it serves its purpose well and i think anything i enjoy about rain world can be seen in the survivor campaign at least to start off with... 10/10 nothing special but no loss by playing it yknow. ive also done an outer expanse + baby run (ftr if you want baby fast before going to outer expanse, live in industrial for a while. cannot compete with that pup spawn rate + you can easily make the rounds to check like 5 shelters a cycle before its anywhere near over) which yes -_- did make me cry.

MONK: i.. dont like playing monk. friendliness from other creatures does not mean much to me when actively hostile creatures are near impossible to kill because my spear can travel one (1) slugcats worth in distance so i would not play this with my fairly aggressive play style... i only played it for the short time itd take to get to outer expanse and. again. yes. i cried -_- i think its very sweet, and i am like. (clinically) psychotically attached to monk where its very important to my heart BUT Its not fun as a game experience to me

HUNTER: i tried to jolly co op cheat and play as arti to finish this as i find arti the easiest to play as but i kept crashing which is. you know. very bad for the single campaign where you want to be losing the least so ive never made much progress with this one and i genuinely dont want to open hunter back up because of the crashing. i THINK This was because i was playing w the sunhat mod because ive never experienced that magnitude of crashing constantly and uninstalled it after and have not experienced that again until... well youll read later

GOURMAND: i played this one from the start with my "Boyfriend" and so again it was fun from that, ESPECIALLY because he played as artificer and so was essentially my chariot throughout the campaign... easy way to beat gourmands exhaustion: make your partner carry you. shrimple. its SO fun to beat the shit out of creatures and i do like being forced to just take a moment and walk around slowly, i havent found his exhaustion toooo terrible if youre just patient except when youre fighting creatures that have health enough that you cant kill them in one hit. but being able to just slam something to death is SO satisfying, i enjoyed it. HOWEVER, ive never actually gotten to the END (Due to "Boyfriend" availability, we've stopped just outside the outer expanse gate). and of course, yes, every single fucking time i watch someone go into outer expanse i CRY LIKE A BABY. the first i think DOZEN times i watched people go through outer expanse, id start WAILING whenever i just saw slugcat npcs, it tugs and tears at my heart strings so badly. youre not alone. youve spent a campaign or two trudging through a wasteland empty of kind relatable figures but youre HOME now, just as you left it, and everyones so happy to see you back. im crying now . (do i just cry a lot? Maybe. im at an emotional point in my life... be nice.) 12/10 above survivor def, and gourmands my most favorite to play as in expedition- cant argue with that combat system + exhaustion isnt too bad for me + i love the variety of the world, its not impossibly difficult while not being easy.

ARTIFICER: ive never finished revenge route, ill be going to a different save file to try and it now, instead ive finished the ascension route. i know arti can be... extremely frustrating to play because its hitting a wall again and again and again but i really didnt have too much trouble approaching it knowing i had to be prepared to die + using my map a lot ("WTF this game is so unfair i cant see enemies about to shoot me!" Use Your Map. use your map and slug senses) + of course... ample map skills so im not ambling and getting like im getting lost and dying for nothing. though i will say, i did nearly give up at exactly the end- i think its the camera scroll mod but subterranean made the game near unplayable. like 0.5 frames per second, computer screaming, crashing i think a half dozen times again in an area where i NEEDED the karma to the point where i had to passage in place so i could ascend, and then crashing i think thrice while i was in the depths, including not allowing me to see the end cutscene... specifically that huge room with the big pit would grind the game to a halt i think because its so large and all the enemy AI, and all the spiders and centipedes are a nightmare and i just... hated it. every other leg of the game was fine, rewarding, heart touching but dear fucking lord, subterranean isnt more difficult or intriguing its just "the games not going to play smoothly at all and heres 5000000 ridiculously enemies". i WANT to love it, you know i love arti, but its just impossible to play if you want to ascend. and of course revenge route is crazy short which feels bad. removed from my experiences though, i think its beautiful with the one caveat that revenge route is TOO short. ive watched way too many people who were interested in the lore never get to even the third dream because theres just not enough shelters if you run straight to metropolis, which makes me sad. but the story generally is beautiful and i love it (and i could talk about it later, some of the things people say about arti makes me.. insane. either that shes totally righteous in her actions, or that her pups deaths are her fault)

SPEARMASTER: playing this one while cheating both using the map to plan exactly the route you need and to go through precipice as arti for the double jump + to swallow the pearl made it an absolute dream. yes the world is very scary but you can avoid a lot of the worst parts by simply not being there <3 one part: i did forget to change back to spearmaster before going to moon and she did crash my game so . remember to do that. very good campaign both for me to have played without doing anything as intended (never touched a broadcast), combat is fun, but also a very good story. i really like five pebbles and... i cannot get into the degree of five pebbles apologist i am i genuinely cant detail this without going off the rails. regardless; much 2 think about.

RIVULET: never played this one + not playing this one very scary looks bad dont want it. no rot no underwater sections no thank you. wont touch it. wont look at it. thank you

SAINT: hesitant to play this one due to the adventure aspect though i already got all echoes with arti so it cant be that bad- of course the story aspect of it all cannot be understated and it fully shattered my world view when i got into it. rain worlds live and die messaging has really helped me through suicidal and delusional periods and im very glad for what can be gleaned from saints story so i do like it a lot. as ive said before its also so amazing how a game with little to no tutorial text or cutscenes can have numerous jaw drop moments (with max karma reveal and descent into rubicon)

SOFANTHIEL: funny haha! (Jumps around

#ask #and you dont need to know why i keep referring to 'boyfriend'. thats for me to know ok ? <3

[sisterssafespace]

Anon:

"[ .. ] I really do not want to relapse. I am at peace now and i never want to return back to the state i was in. I always pray that no sister ever has to go through what i did. Even though im getting better i still do think about the past version of myself and how lost i was. I was so depressed and so out of touch with everything in my life. I was never fully present because i couldn't be.

Please keep me in your duas & also do you have any advice. "

Answer:

My dear sister, I didn't want to share your ask and answer publicly because you sent it not on anonymous, and even though it can be a fake account, I opted not to -

Anyways, I have answered similar asks a couple of times before on this blog, maybe if you have enough time you can go down a bit and find them. P.s. I usually answer them on separate posts when it is about this topic in particular.

With that being said, let me say first of all that I am proud of you, Allahuma barik, you are a strong girl, you took a huge step and in shaa Allah you will continue walking on this path of healing! You basically did all the right things, as for the movies/ tv shows, I would basically recommend similar steps, if you have any subscription ( Netflix and whatnot) just cancel it already, uninstall the apps if you have them on your devices, delete your browser's history or the list of favorite websites or just reset your software all together to start fresh. If you use YouTube, make a new account or mess up your YT algorithm: unsubscribe to all the channels that would suggest movies or series, dislike any suggestion related to that even on shorts, and instead like and subscribe to informative channels with Islamic content, like quran tafseer and lectures, stories about the Prophets or stories from the Quran, whatever field you are passionate about whether sciences, health, etc.. switch to podcasts! They're really great and you can find a billion interesting ones! Put down your device and pick up a book! And also, my key advice: fill up your time, don't let yourself be alone and empty, that's a toxic combination.

I hope these tips come in handy!

May Allah swt keep you firm on this road of recovery, I honestly feel so proud of you, it is not an easy thing to do! Alhamdullillah that Allah swt single- handedly chose YOU to save and show the right way! Allahuma barik 🥹🤍

May Allah swt forgive all you, me, our parents and all the believers ameen!

Wishing you all the best!

- A. Z. 🤍🍃

#sisterssafespace #struggling with addiction #recovery #anon

[archonsabyss]

not the universe putting us on the same wavelength! ✨iconic behavior ✨

i've been making my way through enhypen 🥴 it was sunoo first, then sunghoon, and then i saw this reel and i haven't looked back!! he's the first idol i've put as my phone wallpaper and i have ZERO regrets! honestly babes, i just can't believe he exists and he's so lovely 🥺

aww friend, please be easy and good to yourself! i hope you feel better soon and take it easy~

don't worry about keeping up with me tho! work within your own capacity; i'll do the same! i've been trying to limit the amount of screen time - but with a full-time engineering job (and star rail ;-; ) it's not so easy. whenever i do come on though i always visit your page v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ

it makes me so happy to see you interacting with others, as well as get your kudos for your BEAUTIFUL NOBEL PEACE PRIZE DESERVING WORKS! i will never shut up about how dazzling and divine your writing is!!!!! where is your book deal!!!!

we should also talk about star rail because it's been so much fun to play! and i saw you're writing for love & deepspace! please give me a reason to play i want to so bad lol

₊⊹ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖⭒✮ I love us 💅 THAT REEL is the reason I homie hopped lmao. (all jokes) but heeseung has broken my heart one too many time with this behavior so I need a break and someone to mend it. Not that sunghoon is a rebound or anything. Heeseung wallpaper? I love that for you!! Honestly, from day one he's lured me in and trapped me. I was so enchanted when I first saw him, then I dipped after iland (their survival show) ended only to come back a few months after debit and realize he'll always be my one. Probably one of my proudest moments is being with enha from debut!!

I will do that, as soon as I can find my feet I'll take better care of myself as I hope you're doing as well. Even if it's just something small like staying hydrated, or washing ur hair ect. Random, but cleanliness does miracles to one's body and emotional state.

I'm glad you're atlst occupied you know, I feel like I'm wasting my time at home and I'm on my phone 24/7. Just waiting for one of my parents to go off lol. But this helped to remind me to also try and cut down on screen time, it'll definitely do me some good so thank you. I know how hard having a job can be (even tho it's something we'll have to do for the majority of our lives so we just gotta get used to it) but all the best!! Also thank you for visiting me🥹 it makes me the happiest

I NEED PHONE SPACE. I need to put all my unnecessary photos and vids on a hard drive so I can get hsr again!! I had it but then l&ds came out and I'm running low. I NEED BLADE SO BADLY! HE'S LITERALLY WAITING FOR ME

You might as well just take my heart 🫶🏻 why are u so sweet, what do u want from me? You're keeping me here on Tumblr and flaming my passion for writing I hope you know how incredible you are and how much every word you've said is highly appreciated!! I wish you the absolute best in life and in future! I hope you get all you deserve honestly 😭🤍

As for HSR and L&ds, if I start I won't stop but I suddenly blanked rn HELP- tbh with l&ds.. What I'm feeling rn is alot of frustration I look like these 😈😃 emojis while punching a wall especially with the fighting.. The whole leveling up cards and farming materials / protocores (like genshin artifacts) with limited stamina is a pain lol. Also the whole wishing system with pity and literally looking through every nook and cranny for them diamonds! There's new event cards every often and it's great but sad and traumatizing when you don't manage to get the card u want. BUT that's the whole experience and it's still really good and addictive to the point my wallet is under lock and key is thrown away. Summary, reasons to play = pretty boys with a good main story and terribly angsty individual lore. If you like simping but emotionally, then definitely give it a try. Besides if you don't like it the uninstall button is just a click away🤭 doesn't hurt to try.

#₊⊹ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖⭒✮ abyss inbox 📩 #₊⊹ @princ3ss-world⊹₊ #love and deepspace #enhypen

[charonyx]

Appreciating Malleus and Falling into Fandom, One Step at a Time

Happy Birthday Malleus Draconia, love of my life!!!!

A little late into the night, but he likes strolling around at this time so it's fine! Ah, there is so much to say about Malleus that I can't think of it all at once. Maybe whenever I think of reasons why I love Malleus, I'll write it down and have a bit more coherency by his next birthday. For now I'll just thank him for even getting me to play the game.

I favored Riddle at first because I LOVE his aesthetic (still do) and I found Malleus kinda meh, like, I didn't understand why people were saying he looked hot, he looked kinda okay to me (well, the art of him rising out of the coffin is PRETTY FIRE). Anyway, after watching up to Chapter 4 on YouTube through ShellBB's translations, I started falling for him bit by bit.

It started with him showing up in 2-14 (COUGH COUGH OKAY MALLEUS I SEE YOUUUUUUU) which I found pleasantly surprising. I thought we weren't going to interact with him until his chapter, but this was cool. Then he shows up again in Octavinelle, giving an absolutely PRECIOUS laugh when we call him "Tsunotaro". His ease in letting us call him a silly nickname is so endearing, and then he gives semi-advice? on how to handle the Octavinelle boys. Once we get back the house, he is glad we were able to keep it by being glad it won't be rowdy, showing that he's already feeling a little fond of us, the first person from outside of his bubble, being daring in his eyes to even approach him with no regard of his status or power. Accepting a fun nickname because that sounds like such a normal close friend thing to do, and he craves that closeness with someone, anyone.

After that, Scarabia chapter comes and goes with many emotional moments that I adore and, coming back to our dorm with relief at sleeping under this dilapidated yet comforting building, we are greeted with Lilia, bestowing upon us a holiday card. From Malleus. When I tell you my heart stopped for a bit and dropped to my stomach. Because, right then and there, I realized "Oh no. I REALLY like this man". Going to Ramshackle for his nightly strolls, he noticed we weren't there and had maybe wanted to wish us Happy Holidays or do something that friends would normally do. So, he decided on a holiday card, asking Lilia, his basically father, to pass by Ramshackle dorm and give it to his human friend. He truly treasures this recently born friendship and wanted us to have something from him, something simple yet heartfelt. Y'all, personal cards are great.

So, taking into account that it was December of 2020, his first birthday card was the next month and I was really invested in the story, characters and world I made a gamble. IF when his birthday rolled around, and I got him in my first 10 pull, then I would continue playing the game and follow the story. If I didn't, then I'd uninstall the game and continue following the story through translations like most other games that had caught my interest. I don't know why I placed this on myself, but, Malleus being the sweet and generous man he is came in my first 10 pull. And I continued playing which got me into fandom proper for the first time. I always felt with stuff I liked, I was an outsider looking on from a distance. Appreciating the love fans had for the same game, but never really interacting or feeling part of it. Until Twisted Wonderland hit me over the head with a brick, pushed me into a deep well and threw a Malleus down as I was tentatively trying to climb back up.

Interacting with the fandom, following Twisted Wonderland art, getting excited with people over new events, ABEMA livestreams, gushing over favorite characters, and just truly getting the sensation of feeling a fandom have a live, beating heart.

I love it. And I love Malleus Draconia who is an imperfect perfect being that led me to this wonderful journey that is etched into my heart forever.

As an end, I'll recommend this amazing song composed by Cafune Piano, an amazing pianist who has made birthday songs for each character that is an experience to listen to. Please check them out! (Fair warning, some music is from Chapter 7 that has yet to appear on the English server and spoilery character sprites)

#twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #i love him so much #dragon man take my heart #happy birthday :) #conciseness? what's that? #Youtube

[nighttimeoracle]

Guyyyys, I'm finally here to share the tea on my allegedly twin flame (I won't address him as the legitimately one until I'm fully convinced so please take this story with a grain of salt).

The legend tells Asteria wanted human warmth and someone to call "hers" somewhere around this time last year, so she decided to give dating apps a chance. After one disgraceful disappointment after another, I (let's stop using third person to speak atm) realized I needed to heal myself if I ever wanted to have a normal intimate life with someone else and that not all men were trash... Just traumatized by their parents? Probably as much as I was, lol.

I was on my way to uninstall Bumble from my phone when I got a text from the last match I got. I checked his profile and he honestly looked like a cute and empathetic guy, yet I was fed up with hoping from one man to another and I ignored the last message I received from him.

3 moths later I came back to this app, but I wasn't interested in using the dating option. There's a bff service on the app and I was looking for female friends from the city I lived to hang out with. Unfortunately, all chats were paired up in the same place and I couldn't stop seeing that unanswered chat from the cute guy. I waited for one week until I was fully convinced I should text him and expect no reply. I literally ghosted him for months and he could've been one of those hypersensitive guys that would give you the cold shoulder to ground you for getting them to feel ignored 🤷🏻‍♀️

HE REPLIED.

Afterwards we kept ghosting each other for weeks and coming back in between 😂 we exchanged phone numbers and continued talking over messages about philosophy, films, and astrology. Dynamics have not changed from the start, except I stopped ghosting him because I got interested in him as a person. He felt weirdly familiar to me, like we had been neighbors for years or like we went to the same school but different grades, you know? I felt like I could read his mind but you know I'm psychic so it's not that uncommon coming from me 😅 but this guy got the power to help me sort my thoughts out really quickly. We speak the same language and my soul does not need to translate anything for him to get me on the spot.

Then I went berserk after I found I've fallen for him. 'Why? What's wrong with liking anyone, Asteria?', you must be wondering. Well, let me tell you now the unsavory side to this story. I realized my feelings for him were deep and not the ones you usually had for a friend after he stood me up twice and stopped talking to me for a month. Yup. He disappeared and I was left to grieve for this connection alone. I thought he had made me a great favor for showing his true colors sooner rather than later. Then, he came back and didn't apologize to me 💀 that prick pretended like nothing ever happened while I thought, 'from this moment forward we're going to stay like good friends from the internet and I'm never inviting you to hang out again'. Ha! Things only turned wilder afterwards 🙃🙃 I don't want this story to drag on forever, so I'm going to list everything that have happened recently and weird shit I noticed in his one month absent.

The latest guy I dated was Gemini sun and Aquarius moon. My tf? Same, plus we both were born in June.

I had dreams about meeting a man that was obviously a Gemini months before I got to meet him. He told me in my dreams, "we are going to be friends, but you shouldn't fall in love with me *sigh dramatically*. If you do, who could blame you? I'm awesome~. Honestly, I'm going to like you too, but I would be dealing with so much at that time that I might not pay much attention to you". I thought that dream was a fabrication from the trauma inflicted by Gemini people from my past 💀

Angels numbers could be seen all day along. Specially 111 or 1111.

Archangels rarely summon me. That's my relatives thing, not mine as I work directly with the gods. But Saint Raphael was practically begging me to sit down and speak to him, so I went for a meditation to try and see what he wanted. First thing I saw was the image of a male and female angels holding hands and then I heard, "the lovers". I was bit taken aback... I was expecting the archangel to give me a warning on my poor health or any advice related to my recent life decisions.

I pulled some cards for further clarification and right there was my crush depicted on the spread 💀 I went berserk for the second time since I couldn't believe my guides were speaking about someone that didn't belong to my family or wasn't actually close to me.

I guessed it was a twin flame connection because my guides had told me even before Saint Raphael did, "that man is your closest mirror at the moment. Both share fate". Ha ha, they love being cryptic in the most critical moments 🤠

He's currently outside the country and we haven't spoken for one week maybe? I don't know what might happen in the future, but I'm glad for the silence and time I was left with as it helped me to analyze things in peace. One month ago I had promised myself to decline future invitations coming from him, but now? I'm jumping at the first chance to see him and I might even confess my feelings for him *sigh*. I did understand my angels were addressing I was possessed by fears of rejection and being emotionally vulnerable, blocking the learning I'm supposed to get from this experience. Now, I feel ready to be rejected or accepted. Either way I would take it as a great challenge I managed to overcome.

@kinky-khaleesi @aagnathavasi @bluenoom @moons-euphoria

#me things #twin flames #story time #astrology #tarot #archangels #storytime