#I regularly think back to the nice things people have said about my art over the years | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

epigaea-repens · 9 months

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I have been having a very nice time waiting for Good Omens Season 2. I’m very busy tomorrow, and I’m going to see the first two episodes on Wednesday, so I’m writing about it now in order to memorialize the experience.

I have been on the edges of fandom all my conscious life. I learned to read at seven and at once commenced with the cycle of reading stories, drawing the characters, contemplating them, and continuing the stories for myself. With occasional breaks in times of intense study or intense grief, I have always had some fictional world or other in the back of my mind, keeping me company.

I found my way onto Tumblr in 2011. Someone had posted a beautiful picture of Loki from the first Thor movie on Deviantart with a moving little blurb and a link back to a Tumblr account. I was twelve and in a period of intense internal and external conflict - tumblr fandom in that time gave the secret part of me that was always thinking about stories a place not to be alone. I never contributed anything; my stories were much too personal for that. But I consumed others’ conversations and art and fanfiction voraciously, and I joined in with fandom tumblr’s anticipation of the upcoming installments of its commonly beloved media. That was my first time waiting for anything to come out. Up to that point, all my favorite stories had been in books many decades safely completed. I would gobble them up and digest them at length.

I have very fond memories of waiting for The Avengers and Sherlock and Fantastic Beasts, and all sorts of other things I’m forgetting now. It was thrilling, reading theories and predictions and fanfiction, some of which was very much as good as its source material. It taught me a great deal about how stories are constructed, and it gave me a space to feel a whole rainbow of emotions which weren’s safe to feel about real life.

Pretty much all of it, when it finally came out, was an awful disappointment. A great deal has been said, in exhaustive detail, about why people were or were not disappointed by those stories we were following together. In my case, I had fallen in love with aspects of the stories which were not carried on and were often actively contradicted by their continuations. I’ve long since moved on, but at the time, that was very alienating, being so full of delighted hope and then having it sort of collapse in on itself. I’ve not had time or energy to be very invested in The Media for some time, and I haven’t had the inclination, because as an adult I’ve had scope to engage with life that I never had before.

I have been very much immersed in waiting for Good Omens, and I’m really happy about it. It’s all the fun of my early fandom experiences, only it’s canonically a love story and it cares about the little things in life, and there is no dawning sense of dread as it approaches, because everything I’ve seen about it indicates that it will carry on everything that makes it wonderful. I’m going down to Cape Cod on Wednesday to see the premier. I’m going to stay over and go swimming and pick up a new inverter so my home can have electricity. On Saturday, my sister and I are going to curl up in the nook I’ve made in my closet and watch the rest together. I understand it’s a mystery, so we’ll pause it regularly and think it through, and I am sure we will be surprised and delighted by where it goes. I imagine it will be very funny and poignant, like the first installment, and leave us with a lot of feelings to experience. People will talk it over and draw bits of it and write further extensions, and hopefully season three will come out in some years and it will become a completed story. By then, I will have my own little house, and my sister will be doing something very interesting and dangerous, and maybe I’ll go back and read this post and think myself insufferably earnest. Future me always does, but I have high hopes for her anyway.

#good omens

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redphienix · 2 years

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I do miss the ask-blog hayday.

It's still, like 8 years or so after their massive decline, bewildering to think that tumblr isn't "that" anymore.

There really was an era where like 50% of blogs in existence were little original storylines or character studies or OC showcases in the format of ask-blogs that regularly pumped out tons of fanart for their interests, and then that sorta stopped being what the platform was.

And like, I get it on plenty of levels- ask-blogs were regularly a heavy workload, there was a tipping point where too many began to exist and the community around them began to find them less interesting (or that's my perception), over-saturation made it so you had to luck into standing out and a lot of quality story lines died out "Just Because", and internet interactions evolve over time and consuming fan works and OC works through ask-blogs became old hat as people started doing other stuff or just running art blogs and personals without dedicating themselves to an ask-format.

Asks in general were both the boon and bane of the format, with a lot of blogs getting stuck on formatting a storyline or purpose in between "answering asks in character" etc, like do you know how many ask blogs start with asks that are like "Glomp, hugs, I love you *insert character*" and the creator very likely leans into this because they also love the character, but then where do you go? Did you have a story in mind already? Does the fanart showcase end now because you drew the hug thing and now you're out of ideas? Isn't this format supposed to provide ideas for free through asks? And not to put the onus on the creator, what does the asker do now? The blog is run by a real person who has to make content for you to interact with it- but they might be waiting on you to make their next play- stalemate.

A lot of misconceptions came up in that.

Anyways, after nearly a decade of being no longer the flavor of the platform I still think of tumblr first and foremost as "That site where blogs get asks and answer them in their own way" and then I remember "Oh wait, no one really asks anymore, we just sorta throw our content out there and see what happens now" and there's rose-tinted longing in that realization.

The format wasn't perfect- I really don't know who first came up with making their blog "ask-character" but they were crazy! And genius lmao. But I mostly miss just seeing asks dominate the identity of the site and how that spilled over from ask-blogs to like, every blog. Taking a step away from the constraints and demands of ask-blogs kinda made asks in general take a back seat to the identity of the site- as I said, now we just kinda throw our content out there and it gets reblogged.

TAGS are the identity of tumblr now, and that's nice tbh, I just think they could co-exist and I'd like that more but without a community driven project like ask-blogs existing asks will pretty much always take a backseat because you're not half as interested in asking random-blogger-38 or mario-machinima-facts as much as you would be asking ask-your-favorite-anime-protag-but-they-never-met-their-friends-the-blog a question :P

So all said, rose-tinted towards ask-blogs, I miss em being so thoroughly embedded in tumblr culture.

I can't say I dislike or even don't prefer my dash now to back then, just that I have rose-tinted feelings about back then and miss the impact that had on general interactions.

#my posts #ask blogs

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lunaryugamine · 1 year

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I posted 1,083 times in 2022

That's 647 more posts than 2021!

22 posts created (2%)

1,061 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@metaorigin

@ladyloveandjustice

@the-name-is-loser

@shanastoryteller

@readenheim

I tagged 1,010 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#funny - 313 posts

#fanart - 257 posts

#so cool - 111 posts

#cale henituse - 99 posts

#signal boost - 86 posts

#trash of the count's family - 85 posts

#spy x family - 52 posts

#art - 43 posts

#kim dokja - 38 posts

#trash of the count’s family - 38 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#death: *calls out his moping and makes a ‘take your brother to work day’ and makes someone immortal just so dream can go on playdates*

My Top Posts in 2022:

So the positive attention I've gotten for my TBHK fic idea of an exorcist!Aoi has kept it in my head and although I'm not going to write the full thing until the manga is over (I've already changed so much from the first fic I posted on AO3 almost two years ago because of stuff revealed in the manga) but I'm sort of obsessed with my character dynamics I've created for Aoi, Akane, and Teru so I'm going to discuss them here using those fun ship dynamic pictures. I will also probably post more fics focusing on their relationships with each other as well as other characters because character writing is one of my favorite things which is why my NaNoWriMo project is focusing on worldbuilding.

Have fun with this!

Some backstory: Aoi and Teru have known each other since they were really little and are WlW MlM solidarity and hostility at the same time.

When Akane comes into the mix when he becomes part supernatural, things differ significantly from manga canon because Aoi isn't going to let Akane flounder in this new world and so comes clean about everything, leading to a dynamic that is healthier because they are honest to each other now and Akane isn't continually confessing to Aoi because he realizes that she isn't going to love him back the way he loves her and his feelings for her slowly fade. It is also unhealthy in a different way because now they are codependent and possessive of each other. It's fun. Teru thinks it's fun, anyway, and pokes at it constantly.

Anyway, because Akane now knows that Aoi is an exorcist, he insists on helping her with exorcisms and refuses the glasses Teru offers him. The three of them begin to regularly work together and it brings them closer with each other.

Onto the ship pictures!

They are all one of these at some point in their relationship. It is a Problem.

See the full post

16 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

It's very awkward having a British student in my class who is unapologetically pro-monarch. When asked by my chorale teacher what exactly the Queen symbolized, she said that she united everyone in the UK, no matter their political beliefs.

As she's a tiny freshman on a completely different continent, I was nice enough not to point her to tumblr to show her all the people in the UK who are celebrating her death.

23 notes - Posted September 9, 2022

So... Latest JSHK chapter...

Obviously we're all very upset about Teru. He cares so much for his brother and they're both so traumatized and, regardless of how he treats supernaturals, he did just push his brother out of danger and Did Not Deserve That.

But, also, why does Number Six suddenly have an accent?

Did he have an accent in earlier chapters? Is this just a weird thing in the translation I'm reading?

Also, sad that Aoi had no lines in this chapter. Let her speak, Aodairo!!!

25 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

I'm honestly shocked how many people don't realize that Helio and Medea kissing isn't an endorsement of their relationship. It's very clear that their relationship isn't healthy and that Medea doesn't care for Helio the same way he cares for her. I mean, when he asks "to console her", she doesn't give an enthusiastic "yes" or even a tepid "sure". She pauses and then says, "If you'd like." She doesn't ask for it.

To be clear, I'm not saying that Helio is taking advantage of Medea like some other people are saying. I think it's honestly the other way around. Medea knows he loves/worships her and indulges his eccentricities, even if it sort of annoys her (like when she repeated called him clingy), because it allows her to keep him under her thumb.

The major difference between Medea and Eros is that she feels guilty about using Helio like this, unlike how Eros feels about using Psyche (or literally anyone else because he's insane).

Medea legitimately cares for Helio. Just not as much as he cares for her.

74 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Goodbye Jonathan "my good friend" Harker

Goodbye Mina "I am the train fiend" Harker

Goodbye Lucy "polyamorous icon" Westerna

Goodbye Dr John "what are morals" Seward

Goodbye Quincey "shoot a bat" Morris

Goodbye Arthur "money solves everything" Holmwood

Goodbye Dr. Abraham "I am an expert in everything" Van Helsing

Fuck you Count "lizard fashion" Dracula

You will be missed. Except for Dracula.

2,674 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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dastardly-ethereal-love · 1 month

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So friends. I am okay but have been so very not okay in the past. I’m reading more of this wonderful ‘Oh,Maker’ world - this time from Aziraphale’s perspective and it is hard hitting for an ex Christian like me.

Here is my looooong comment to the first bloody chapter!

But this is a flaw, a weakness in me. The LORD is righteous, and a jealous God, and I must find a way to be strong enough to witness Her wrath with the same equanimity I witness Her love. I will, one day. If I remain faithful, if I try hard enough. I will be granted that strength.

Those lines. Fuck. It’s so true. It’s how I used to think there must be something wrong with me because god is perfect so why am I not okay with his judgement of gay people or his treatment of women or his killing and punishment of anyone who doesn’t fit his exacting standards. As if Jesus’ sacrifice somehow can cover over whole societies who never knew Jesus or had a chance to accept his very limited opportunity for salvation? Who can accept those terms… who can look at themselves and be okay with being on the ‘winning team’ when so many are forced to ‘lose’. My dad was in a Christian cult that refined that saved number down to some crazy number in Revelation… 144,000? Like ever? It’s arrogance in the extreme. And Aziraphale was created within it. He’s a bloody angel and has no say in it but has to enact it. He watches it unfold.

No words for that level of trauma. How you have him watching the flood and Crowley takes him away and comforts him. How you have him watching 20,000 die in wars between England and France. So much senseless loss of life. You could lose your mind thinking about it. How does any of it make sense?

Anyway… I love your writing and how it shakes out these big questions and reminds you that we as humans have choices. I absolutely choose Crowley now and his way of questioning. I grieved losing my faith but now I’m grateful to have escaped that very limiting frame of thinking. It felt like losing something precious but you said in Oh Maker that it could be the start of something else that is joyful. Maybe not in those words… but I like the honesty and the genuineness that comes with stripping back the layers of indoctrination. I am finding so much more pleasure in simple everyday things now. I’m not forcing myself to do things because they are someone else’s will be it my church minister, a Benedictine monk or my idea of who God is. Haha I’m finding out what my will is. Who I am. It’s nice to connect with myself and find that I like who I am. I am embracing my emotions - sad and hurt as much as happy and joyful and giving them more room to be heard. Not having to paint a bloody happy face on horrible stuff. That’s a relief. Also, not feeling guilty about enjoying things for their own sake. I used to be told off for wasting my time and my labour on meaningless stuff - but life and joy and being alive is not useless! I’m going to art galleries, going to plays, going on holidays to walk under trees and be in nature and connect with who I am. It’s a kind of bliss. It’s a kind of joy. It’s a recognition that I was worth love even if I didn’t earn it. The whole love is given, not earned thing. Killed me. It hit me hard. I was told salvation doesn’t come from works by one side of my faith community and the other side was all ‘cover your head to pray’ and ‘take communion’ and if you don’t do it regularly then you will have no life in you. So it was do this or be cast out but then also, faith alone! But then faith without works is dead… such a horrible tug of war and where was I in any of it?! Like when did the person who I was get a chance to speak? When did I get to move without guilt or obligation pushing me one way or the other?

Gah. Religion is not my favourite. It may work for some but i think my brand of childhood trauma and religion created a bit of a monster. I was ripe for being taken advantage of. I didn’t know what boundaries were and I was just way too ready to sacrifice my whole entire self by becoming a bloody nun. A boy ended up tempting me away from that idea… haha but I was so ready to just give my life away to some other persons idea of the right thing to do. I just so wanted to be good. To be told I was good. Ugggghhh!

/no one was prepared for that level of trauma dumping. Apologies and thanks for sharing your words with the world!

#ao3 fanfic #good omens #good omens fanfiction #aziraphale #crowley #trauma #religious trauma

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top10animeangels · 1 year

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knowing better

a little over a year ago, on my main tumblr blog, i accidentally stumbled upon blogs where people my age, give or take, would post inappropriate things. at first, i was appalled.

i'm younger than these people, and i know not to post things like that, i thought. don't they know they're purposefully endangering themselves?

however, as time went on, i'd find more of these blogs. i'd never interact with them, but looking at them secretly became a guilty pleasure of mine. as many other teenagers do, i had some thoughts of my own, and this only intensified them.

i decided that i might as well make a blog of my own. i was well aware of the risks, but i didn't care. it was a little hard finding blogs i liked, since most of the ones i found were ran by straight girls, and i was only interested in women. either that, or they forbade minors from interacting, and, for one reason or another, i chose to be truthful about my age.

i didn't get many followers until one of my posts blew up. the first blog didn't last long; it got terminated quickly thereafter. i simply made another one with a similar username. this one got more attention. i ended up becoming mutuals with some girls, most of them being my age or in their early 20s.

it was nice befriending people who had the same interests as myself, people who thought the same way i did. i could say whatever the hell I wanted, and i'd get attention. I'd be lying if i said i wasn't having fun.

not everything was sunshine and rainbows, though. i saw a callout post for mutuals of my mutuals, maybe even their mutuals, though for completely unrelated reasons. i saw some vaguely familiar usernames. i disregarded it at first, since it had nothing to do with me at all.

eventually, people would find my group of mutuals, and me, as well. they accused my mutuals of being groomers and the like, for doing nothing but interacting with me.

this couldn't be further from the truth. they rarely even dm'ed me, and if they did, it was usually to ask a question about a post i made, or something similar. i only spoke to one of them regularly, and even then, we mostly just sent each other anime art and talked about our interests. nothing more, nothing less.

you may be wondering what the callout makers said about me. well, they insisted that i was a poor, helpless victim, who was being made to do all of these things. again, this wasn't true. i made that blog simply out of a desire for attention. it was my choice. a bad one, sure, but it was my choice all the same.

i'd get anonymous asks, urging me to stop, or telling me to "stop thinking i'm mature." well, if you saw the things i posted on there, you'd know i certainly didn't think i was mature. also, if you've ever spoken to a teenager before, you know how stubborn we can be. i don't even know what they were expecting. did they think i'd say "oh shit, you're right" and immediately deactivate my blog?

that blog got terminated soon after. i remade it a few more times, but each one would disappear more quickly than the last. i got tired of making new emails and setting up new blogs, so i gave up. there were also some other factors contributing to why i left. i've dealt with paranoia my entire life; i was afraid that tumblr would ip ban me, and that my friends would see the callout and know it was me.

in any case, i sent an anonymous goodbye ask to my closest mutual, and never looked back.

if these callout makers could see my side of the story, would they still insist that i was innocent? would i be called a bad person for knowingly doing this? or would i occupy a morally gray area, since reality is often more nuanced than "good" or "bad?"

i don't know. think whatever you want of me, i don't care.

after this, my thoughts didn't go away. i just don't express them at all now. it's probably better this way. either way, i'm not doing that shit again.

#text

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dzpenumbra · 1 year

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1/24/23

I was playing Noita, trying a pacifist run... and the game crashed for the first time. Guess it's time to do this!

Today was fairly uneventful. Cat woke me up early. Yoga. Got some stuff from the package room - some new incense and essential oil for my diffuser. It may not be the most orderly home, but it smells nice.

I came pretty close to finishing what used to be the necklace and is now the bracelet. I just need to... reassess the closure on it. I don't like a clasp for a bracelet, it just doesn't really work great. I need to make something that easily latches one-handed. But the weaving is done, so that's nice. Took way longer than I expected, but it was my first time and I don't really have a process down so... cutting myself some slack.

Oh yeah, so it was time to transition to the final polishing phase of the rock tumbles. Time flies, huh. If I didn't have that week missing where I wasn't running it because I was waiting for ceramic media to be delivered, they'd be done by now. But it should only be about 5 or so more days. There are some really cool pieces in there. I'm really excited to see how they come out. And I've been taking progress pictures from raw stone to finished product, so I'm excited to look back and see how far they came. Cleaning those and swapping the water/slurry took a few hours. It's a bit... laborious... and tedious when you live in an area where you can't just... dump the slurry. But, I'm getting a system down.

I was listening to this guy ESOTERICA on YouTube, the topic du jour was Exorcism in Judaism. Pretty interesting shit.

I also listened to a LiquidPixul art talk on... AI art... and his journey from 2D animation to 3D animation... to digital painting. His description of riding the waves of changing technologies was really interesting, a very unique perspective. I don't really know how to feel, because no one has really ever wanted my art. I know, womp womp, depression time. But like... legit. I have seen more of my artwork sitting on peoples' floors, being trampled by animals, draped over furniture, torn, broken, stowed away in storage... than actually appreciated. I have only sold a handful of prints. I have never sold an original piece that wasn't a commission for a specific individual. And I've been doing this since... 2008? If you count college, and I do. So, like... I know others may feel threatened that what they have built may come crumbling down because tech companies developed a new toy. I get that. No one wants to feel replaced; trust me, I've been replaced in much worse ways than that, the feeling is awful. But first off... I struggle to relate to it, because... I really don't have anything to lose. I never really gained. So, I think that kinda gives me a unique perspective to be able to look at this situation without being too fearful.

What I got out of Adam's talk was this idea of like... as a trained artist, someone who has dedicated themselves to a craft... but also to a completely different way of looking at life... you don't just lose that when a new medium comes along. Even if you switch mediums. Holy shit, okay, you know what, I am qualified to speak on this. I have swapped mediums more fucking times than I can count. I started with poetry, of all things. Then music. Then video, which was my first major. Then doodling, because I couldn't focus in classes unless I was doodling on something, margins of my notes, my pants, in college I'd regularly cover my entire left arm in a sleeve of Sharpie tattoos. Swapped majors from video to undecided after flunking out. Considered music. Then I said "fuck it, music isn't going to pay the bills, let's add art to the mix" and went all-in to become an art major. I went to a college with the intentions of gigging with my band and being a Drawing major. They didn't offer drawing as a focus, so I had to learn how to paint in acrylic. Closest I could get. Then I started to go multimedia again - sculpture, video, graffiti, set design. After graduation I got into tattooing, learned graphic design, dabbled in architecture design in SketchUp. I'd make replicas of ancient world wonders in Minecraft. I disconnected from art for like... 4-5 years and a part of me just... died. I lost my identity. I would rediscover it in Minecraft occasionally, but... it would fade quick. Toxic environment. And the past 5 years since I liberated myself from that toxicity, I started going nuts with shit. Trance work, meditative practices, automatic writing, wood/stone/bone sculpture, jewelry making, nature illustration, mandalas, a mini episodic stream-of-consciousness vlog, a full-length YouTube Rimworld series, livestreams, earthworks. So... you could say I'm not really tethered to a medium. At all. In fact, I get so intrigued and enticed by new media and new experiences that I have trouble sticking to a "thing". And instead of fighting that like I think most people do, and say "just focus on what you do", I said "fuck it, let's go!" I learned anatomy for realism portraiture. I learned geometry for abstract and architecture. I learned geology and chemistry for stone work. I learned ecology and microbiology for earthworks. I learned spirituality, mythology, evolutionary biology and primitive art history in my explorations in handmade carving. I even learned how to do some functional coding for video games and stuff, in an attempt to create my own simulated ecosystem with artificial lifeforms living in it.

None of those mediums are going anywhere, as far as their role in my life is concerned. Because they never went anywhere to begin with! They have always stayed constant. Me, by myself, learning, exploring, growing and finding new ways to express what fascinates me, and what my passions are. What catches my eye and makes me go "oh holy shit, I never thought of that, that changes everything!" Or just pulls me in completely and takes me to another world. And I see it as my job, my place in this world, to share that passion and that transformative imaginative immersion with others. The best I can. Like... a music reaction video. Why do we watch those? We like to see how others hear the same songs we listen to, especially for the first time. And we can take from that and add it to our language of like... active listening. So when I hear Charismatic Voice nerding out about diphthongs, I go... "oh shit, what about Coheed, you gotta listen to them, they are like... the epitome of diphthongs... now that I know what that word means... XD" It adds to my language of... experiencing life.

So... what I'm kinda saying is... when you train to be an artist - just like the example above with Elizabeth, trained to be a musician - you are training much more than your ability to draw on a piece of paper. Or a tablet. Or paint a canvas. Or sculpt. Whatever. It's much more. It may not feel like much more to you, if you are an artist yourself, but I challenge you to sit down at an intro-to-art class sometime. Those brave, brave souls, I have so much admiration for them! Go audit one of those classes at a local college or something and just... watch how they approach their artwork not from a technical standpoint (because obviously they're going to be inexperienced), but like... from a cognitive standpoint. How they look at their subject, and how they choose to portray it. Their understanding of space. Their understanding of anatomy. Of physics, and proportions, and movement. Color, light, depth. I would bet you a surgeon with zero art experience could draw a pretty good... whatever they usually do surgery on... because they know their way around, they have the mind of an anatomist. So they probably know what goes where and what it looks like roughly, but they might struggle to get those ideas accurately onto paper.

We, as artists... we have been training much more than just our medium. We have been studying many disciplines of science, math, history, biology, you name it. Whatever we have decided to put our effort and research into learning, we have that. And we will always have that. And we can bring that knowledge to other media as well.

So... if people really want to try to replace the artists, let them go ahead. A machine is doing my stone sanding for me right now, and that thing was invented like 70 years ago. Saves me having to wear down my arm muscles, creates a different effect, and comes with its own pros and cons.

But if you're worried about someone going to google and just typing in their idea for art and then going "I'm an artist, I don't need art anymore!"... You didn't have the same experience with graphic design as I did. In my experience, the layman has no fucking clue what they want. They think they do! They all think they do. Then they see what you can do with it... and they all change their tune. That's why they went to you in the first place. And that's why you charge for revisions, folks. I was taught that in college like right off the bat, both for graphic design work and really any design commission. Always charge for revisions, add one or two into the base charge for your work. So we'll do what they want first... then when they inevitably don't like it, we revise, add some of the artist's input... and then keep going until it gets there. So like... I guess what I'm saying is that the layman might find these generators a fun novelty, but they don't have an artist's eye. I mean look at fucking social media, everyone has a goddamn S-Tier camera in their pocket, how many pictures on social media are actually like... proportionate to the quality of the tool they're using? Because they don't have an eye for it. Then go look at a pro photographer's page and it's like... "fuck dude, you're magical."

So... if you're a creative too, don't sweat it too much? Is what I'm saying? And... remember that being an artist is more than just the products that you make... it's the process of exploring, the process of making, and the process of being in art mind. You are creating a story every time you work. You are painting an IRL scene of you at your work spot, painting or drawing or typing or carving or whatever it is. Like a little private movie that the consumer never gets to know about... unless you stream... ;) And that becomes... like a child of yours, your creation. That piece is part of your story, and you are part of its. That effect, that quality of being something created with purpose and passion by human hands is... palpable. And to me, it's one of the most valuable things in the world. Which is why I don't really like doing prints anymore, honestly. And also why I'm trying so fucking hard to get real furniture made by a real fucking person Jesus Christ why is this so hard!!! XD

Okay, I gotta get to bed. Just wanted to share some thoughts, I'm sure it was scrambled and incoherent but I think I got most of the key points there. Just... don't let fear of losing what you love stop you from doing what you love in the first place. I guess I'm saying that to myself as much as to anyone reading this. Fear doesn't deserve that kind of worship. Love does.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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areolae · 2 years

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I’m only complaining about work today because I had such a beautiful weekend that I wish never ended. My best friend flew in for a short time and we giggled so much when we’d wake up in the morning. He decided to not go out on Friday because he wanted to spend more time with me and that made my heart fill all the way up and we had such a silly night on Friday. He moved his flight back twice and we got to go to the museum on Saturday and see my friend’s art studio and enjoy an open house where we got to walk around drinking beers from the local brewery’s pop-up in the museum. This was my first time engaging with art like that and I have a handful of friends in that area who regularly have showings at the two local museums and I can’t wait for the next installation showing at the other spot! My bff was so curious about everything and we talked to so many artists about their inspiration and their chosen mediums. Driving him to the airport Saturday night was very sad but we got to spend so much time together, more than any other time he’s come home to visit, and he had my back and affirmed my feelings and listened to me talk and talk and I feel closer to him now than ever before lol! After he left, I went home to get ready and then went to go see the everything everywhere all at once movie. I cried like a baby toward the end and then the credits rolled and I heard mitski’s voice and smiled, lol. And then Sunday, I spent the majority of the day reading about Hermetic art and deliberate use of Hermetic imagery, went grocery shopping and stocked the fridge with herbs and vegetables and very light snacks and I’m very proud of my grocery trip! I made a beautiful dinner last night. I made a bed of whipped, herbed yogurt which I spread onto the bottom of the plate and topped with wild rice and a spicy chipotle salmon. Packed a joint, poured a big glass of wine, laid on the roof and stared at the sky for I don’t even know how long. I feel so deeply connected to myself lately despite feeling like I’m hitting a wall with my “career” or whatever. My hobbies feel so true to me now, guitar feels so enriching, learning about art is becoming something that touches on every aspect of my day to day life because it’s everywhere! Based on my journal entries over these months, I’ve been able to identify my patterns. I’m currently in a good head space, as I always am after my body re-stabilizes after my menstrual cycle lmfao. I’ve done a lot of talking and thinking this weekend about what I seek, what I hope is brought into my life. I used to constantly just say to myself I am “seeking enrichment,” but after wading the waters and talking and feeling it all out and asking myself, what will enrich me? I have identified that I’m seeking balance and nuance, which I realize isn’t the easiest thing for people to embody at once, I’m still working on it myself, but I think my character judgment is strong enough to know when I’m encountering someone who hopes to be those things, at least. Everyday I’m filling my cup. Sometimes it spills out and sometimes it overflows. I’m aware of my emotional patterns thanks to journaling and my weakness and vulnerability is going to get tucked away nicely again until I encounter those traits and people I feel safe to be vulnerable with! I feel really pleased with myself right now. God and the stars said “time to go.” I’m both leaving and on my way.

#remember #personal

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kurowrites · 3 years

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entigral or just super fluff gym meet cute - uh butcher nmj? Librarian lxc? Children’s librarian lxc?

BEHOLD, I WROTE A NIELAN.

---

The new guy had been coming in regularly for around two weeks now, and seemed determined to become another permanent feature at this gym. Which was… good.

Nie Mingjue wasn’t proud to admit it, but he too had been very sceptical in the beginning, assuming that this new guy would come two or three times, realise that this just wasn’t the thing for him, and then stop coming for good. But then, he hadn’t looked at him with disdain like some other members of the gym (never that), and so had actually been relieved to see himself proven wrong. It had been two weeks, and the new guy still came in every other day, ready for another workout, with a friendly smile to spare for everyone that crossed paths with him.

Today too, the new guy was here again against all previous expectation, and Nie Mingjue redoubled his efforts lifting weights as he carefully resisted the temptation to turn his head after the new guy had walked past him with a polite nod of his head.

It was rude to stare, even at a gym like this, where the biggest dudes occasionally engaged in friendly competitions to determine who truly was the biggest and strongest of them.

(Nie Mingjue wasn’t always the biggest, but he definitely was the strongest. It wasn’t bragging if it was the truth.)

The new guy wasn’t like that at all. Though his workout gear revealed toned shoulders and strong arms, he lacked the bulk that made guys like Nie Mingjue look so imposing. This new guy was built along slimmer lines. Still fit, but clearly not aiming for a bodybuilder look.

Some of the other guys had taken this to mean that he wasn’t very strong, and had scoffed behind his back. But they had quickly been taught better when Mr. Newbie had started lifting weights.

The man could certainly lift. Like, really lift.

Even Nie Mingjue had been impressed.

Nie Mingjue didn’t really dare to approach the man, though he couldn’t help but be curious about him. He was friendly, with mild, polite mannerisms that seemed to be so at odds with the way he trained; an intensity and focus that spoke of determination and a clear goal that he must have in mind.

Whenever the man passed him by, he would nod at Nie Mingjue, and Nie Mingjue would nod back in acknowledgement. That had been the total of their interactions at the gym so far. He didn’t even know the man’s name.

But even though Nie Mingjue didn’t know the man or his name, he couldn’t help but keep looking at him out of the corner of his eyes. Nie Mingjue kept watching him, fascinated by the seemingly effortless elegance that he brought to exercises that looked very different when the bros at the gym did them. Nie Mingjue tried not to notice how nice the man’s hair looked in a braided ponytail, or how nicely his shirt stretched over his chest while he lifted weights. He wasn’t supposed to be watching at all, after all.

It was ridiculous, really. He was here to work on his own fitness, not ogle other men while they were training.

With a disappointed huff, he chastised himself for letting himself be distracted like this in the middle of a training session, and returned to his exercises with even more effort.

---

After finishing an intense training session that left no more room for idle thoughts of pretty men, Nie Mingjue headed back towards the changing room, his mind now occupied with the thought of showering. He quickly slipped out of his training gear and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water pour over him with a sense of relief and completion.

He had just started to wash his hair when another person entered the shower. Looking towards the entrance, Nie Mingjue hastily averted his eyes, because the man entering the shower was no one other than the newbie, entering the communal shower completely naked (of course, it was a shower). He didn’t allow his eyes to linger, but one moment had been enough to ascertain that the man’s excellent physique extended to all parts of him.

Now feeling distinctly less relaxed, Nie Mingjue hurried up with his shower and left hurriedly to get dressed. He was usually fine with being naked, and had no issue being around other naked guys, but being in the shower with a man like that… nothing to make you more self-conscious than a really attractive man. He was usually confident about his own appearance. Not right now, though.

But Nie Mingjue didn’t have much more time than slip into his underwear and shorts. Just when he had sat down to slip into his socks, the new guy also returned to the changing room, now (thankfully) a towel slung around his hips.

And Nie Mingjue, unable to check his impulse, looked up. And inadvertently locked eyes with the new guy, who was already smiling at him.

“I think we haven’t been introduced yet,” the man said, and his voice was calm and smooth. Like one of these ASMR things that Huaisang had shown him once. “My name is Lan Huan.”

“Nie Mingjue,” Nie Mingjue replied, and couldn’t think of anything else to say. He fidgeted with his sock and added, “Nice to meet you.”

Lan Huan smiled again, as if there had been something amusing in his reply.

“You seem to be here rather often,” he observed.

“I like to let off steam after work,” Nie Mingjue answered.

“Oh? What do you do?” Lan Huan asked. And then, as if sensing Nie Mingjue’s apprehension, he added, “If you don’t mind me asking.”

Nie Mingjue sighed. He didn’t really like talking about this topic, because there were lots of… unprocessed emotions still there.

“I had to take over my father’s business at a young age,” he eventually replied, his tone more curt than he’d really like it to be. “The business is doing well, but it’s a lot of hard work.”

“Ah,” Lan Huan answered, and smiled a sympathetic smile. “That is quite a big responsibility.”

He nodded once to himself, as if he understood what he was talking about.

There was something so earnest about it that Nie Mingjue found himself asking a question of his own, without really thinking about it.

“And what do you do?”

Lan Huan smiled again, and this time, it was a joyful smile.

“I am a librarian,” he announced. “I specialise in children’s books.”

Nie Mingjue raised an eyebrow almost against his will. Sure, that kind of job fit perfectly with his mild character, but was totally incongruent with the training that he did.

“My family has a holistic approach to personal improvement,” Lan Huan explained, apparently interpreting Nie Mingjue’s look correctly. As if that actually explained anything.

Lan Huan noticed his evident scepticism and chuckled.

“My brother and I were encouraged to excel both in our academic studies and in martial arts when we were younger,” he added, pronouncing the ‘encouraged’ in a way that suggested that there had been little choice in the matter. “It’s different now, but the training has become a habit. I don’t use it to hunt down people that have late fees. Generally.”

That had Nie Mingjue laugh almost against his will. Damn the man, he was not only handsome, but also smart and funny.

Completely out of Nie Mingjue’s league.

“My father had never much left for academics,” he offered. “But he took me to the gym as soon as I was able to lift a dumbbell. And here we are.”

“Here we are, indeed,” Lan Huan replied with the sweet smile that Nie Mingjue was becoming accustomed to far too quickly.

They were silent for a moment, and Nie Mingjue looked up at Lan Huan, trying not to notice the low-hanging towel or the very nice, toned chest above it.

This man was everything that Nie Mingjue was not. Technically, he should have resented him for it.

If only things were so easy.

“So,” he said awkwardly, clearing his throat. “Are you in a hurry after this? I could go for some coffee.”

Lan Huan smiled again, and this time, there was something in his eyes that glittered with what might be private amusement.

“I am more of a tea person,” he said. “But as things are, I am free after this.”

And with that, he turned around and walked to his own locker, on the other side of the room.

Nie Mingjue tried not to stare too much at that very nice back.

But these shoulders were definitely worth a look.

He should, he mused as he distractedly pulled on his second sock, probably go to libraries more often. Maybe Lan Huan would have a few suggestions for him. Over tea. Or something.

#kuro writes #the untamed #mdzs #nie mingjue #lan xichen #nielan #idk man #I had fun with this but idk it it's any good #entigral

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onesheeptwosheepandachicken · 3 years

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26 Reasons why Qrow is not Ruby’s father and why Taiyang is Ruby’s father

In response to the toxic aspect of the fandom attacking CRWBY and demanding that their desires for Qrow be chosen over canon, or how they feel their theory is more valid than the show itself? I have researched RWBY to make this 26-point Discussion as to why Canon is valid, and fancanon is not when it comes to Qrow Branwen, Ruby Rose, Taiyang Xiao Long, and Summer Rose.

1. “Monty said NO” Most obviously. Monty Oum.

He said in this tweet that ruby and yang are half-sisters…half-sisters, which means they share the same mom or dad…in this case Taiyang….

https://twitter.com/montyoum/status/492070189731565568

Now people have claimed “he obviously meant step-sisters or cousins” Why is it that every time we show the English dictionary to you people or ask you to read it, that you claim you are being attacked or that you claim Monty was misleading us?

2. The writers said NO

Miles Luna debunked this theory on Reddit…

He pointed out that Ruby sees Qrow as a Role model, so she adapts her colors to be similar to his.

And you don’t need somebody to be blood to be your role model.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBY/comments/7x3w4s/crwby_ama_w_miles_luna_kerry_shawcross_and_paula/du5d67g/?

3. “Rooster Teeth said NO” Rooster Teeth even said that Qrow is "Ruby and Yang's Uncle" They also said “Ladies, he’s not your man”

https://twitter.com/RoosterTeeth/status/1067205612331782144

4. “But what if Summer had feelings for Qrow? Why does Qrow Serve Ozpin?” Qrow said in Volume 6 " No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good... " So he was saying he wasn't wanted, so no relationship with Summer. SUMMER DID NOT WANT HIM. And he was literally saying he served Ozpin because Ozpin gave him purpose. It’s pretty sad how people think Qrow can only be a complex character if he obsesses over another person’s wife and child. What , you wanna make him Severus Snape, the Lilly Potter stalker who insulted a girl’s face and tried to poison a boy’s pet and publicly outed a teacher?

https://rwby.fandom.com/wiki/Qrow_Branwen/Quotes#So_That.27s_How_It_Is

5, "But Qrow could be lying" Except in volume 6 Qrow literally said "Don't lie...we're better than that"

And in volume 7?

" Long time ago. I just found working alone tends to be for the best "

" Gotta say, I’m still not really used to working with other Huntsmen in the field. "

And finally World Of Remnant on Patch.

" Nice place to raise a family, if you're into that sort of thing. "

https://rwby.fandom.com/wiki/Qrow_Branwen/Quotes#So_That.27s_How_It_Is

6. “Qrow fans claim that Ruby and Summer form a core part of Qrow’s character and backstory.” WRONG! The main accusation for demanding Rooster Teeth / CRWBY change the backstory for Qrow would accomplish nothing.

Raven already pushed Yang onto Taiyang to raise on his own.

Qrow forcing Tai to Raise Ruby alongside Yang while Qrow could regularly visit, and while Summer lived with Taiyang, Yang, and Ruby?

It would cheapen Qrow’s character….blood isn’t everything. Neither are cliches.

7. “But what if Qrow gave Ruby to Tai to raise after Summer’s death?” Volume Chapter 6, Burning the Candle.

Yang tells Blake that she (yang) and Ruby were raised together by Summer and Taiyang…not by Taiyang on his own, but by Summer and Taiyang.

Yang clearly had memories of being raised by Summer and Tai both, which meant that Summer and Taiyang lived together raising Ruby and Yang for Several Years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZkN-53h5Os

8. “Does Taiyang care about Summer or Ruby?” Taiyang was noted to have shut down when Summer didn’t come back…. Yang noted this in Volume 2 Chapter 6, and Ruby mentioned in the first episode of Volume 3 that Taiyang missed Summer. Qrow also said that Ruby is Taiyang’s “Special Angel”…. Ruby has also pointed out numerous times that Taiyang is Overprotective of Ruby. In fact, Ruby's conversation with Penny about overprotective fathers.

9. “Qrow knows Taiyang is Ruby’s Father. Taiyang knows Ruby is Taiyang’s daughter. Qrow has referred to Taiyang as Ruby’s father during volume 3 and 7. Taiyang referred to Ruby as his daughter in volume 3.

10. “Why didn’t Taiyang train Ruby in Martial Arts?” Taiyang is a martial arts fighter. Ruby has neither the build nor the personality for ruthless hand to hand combat like her sister… Taiyang would trust Qrow, despite his semblance. Remember how bad Ruby was in v5?

11. “Qrow’s semblance is not what his fans exaggerate it to be”

Speaking of Qrow’s semblance? He was playing video games with his nieces, taught at Signal Academy, and could train Ruby… Clearly, his semblance is not what theorists make it out to be.

12. “Why doesn’t Qrow treat Yang the same way he treats Ruby?”

Yang is the daughter of Qrow’s sister,who abandoned the team.

During a one on one interaction between Qrow and Yang after yang vs mercury, Qrow called his own niece crazy, after she had been framed.

Qrow was not empathetic to Yang.

Qrow may not like Yang’s resemblance to Raven.

Ruby is the daughter of his two closest friends, so of course he’d prefer Ruby over Yang.

13. “Examples of Taiyang caring for Ruby.”

Volume 2 Ruby was excited when Taiyang sent a package in the mail, not even knowing it was Zwei.

Taiyang was at Ruby’s bedside in V3, and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

He also tried to bring her breakfast in bed.

Taiyang said he wanted to chase after Ruby, but had to nurse Yang back to health.

During the V8 broadcast, Taiyang was upset when the broadcast was cut.

14. “Genetics research”

Black hair is the subtype of the pigment for blonde hair…

Also, Ruby’s got the same hair strand that Yang and Taiyang have.

Finally, black hair is more dominant.

So Ruby doesn’t need blonde hair to be Taiyang’s kid.

https://askinglot.com/is-black-hair-a-dominant-or-recessive-gene

https://www.quora.com/If-a-jet-black-haired-parent-and-a-blonde-parent-have-children-what-color-hair-would-the-children-likely-have

15. “The STRQ Photo”

The photo....Qrow was with STRQ for four years...do you really think Qrow is not allowed to cry on the photo unless he was romantically involved? Can't a man grieve over the death of a female friend that he was NOT in a relationship with? Or are men not allowed to have female friends? Ichigo and Rukia from Bleach for example...friendship. They were his friends, his family. People seem obsessed with the idea that Qrow cannot care about a woman unless he was romantically involved or unless he's their bastard father.

16. “Men and Women…as friends, platonic” Harry Potter as a book showed that a boy and a girl can interact and still be friends…

Why can’t Qrow be Summer’s friend?

Why does he have to be her lover?

We’ve seen Qrow talk about Innkeeper’s skirt lengths and leer at Barmaids who flirted with him.

Also, he’s shown to be bonding with both Clover and Robyn.

People act like he doesn't flirt with anyone , and yet he does.

17. “Bad Luck Charm” Qrow has spent his whole life with his semblance, named after a Crow.

Raised by the Branwen bandit tribe.

“You and I are not the same, you don’t want the burden of my name” Both Branwen and Qrow are names that Qrow hates due to his semblance and past…

People may think of him as cool, but Qrow suffers from self-loathing.

So NO, the Bad Luck Charm song does NOT in fact allude to Qrow being Ruby’s father, but that Qrow hates himself, hence a major part of why he’s alcoholic.

Proof of which is his volume 6 exchange with Ozpin about being useful, which Qrow disagrees with, leading him to drink further. Yang literally said that she had never seen qrow so drunk before in v6.

And Ruby encourages his self-worth leading him to try giving up alcohol….

His alcoholism is tied to low-self-esteem, not relationships.

18. Manga Anthology

Taiyang was shown in the Manga Anthology to have shut down upon Summer’s Death. That impacted his relationship with Ruby and Yang. Qrow? Is relatively unaffected. The good Uncle helping around the house. Taiyang haters and Qrow stans took this to demand that Qrow is entitled to Ruby, despite Taiyang recovering and doing his best to be a father. Anything Qrow does is worshipped like Mother Teresa, while anything Taiyang does, good or bad, is downplayed and smashed. Taiyang loved Summer so much he was devastated by her death. Qrow was unaffected. Think about that.

19. “I like Brats” Why does Qrow spend time with kids he’s not related to? Because he likes kids. You know how there are adults who enjoy being around brats? That’s Qrow. He didn’t have romantic feelings for Summer, he liked being around her because she was like a kid. Similar to how Blake likes Ruby’s idealism? And trusts her leadership?

20. “Taiyang the 2-timer accusation”

A woman on youtube claimed that Taiyang was a 2-timer who cheated on raven with summer, as there was, in her and her friends’ minds, “no way that taiyang could be with half his team” When asked about TaiQrow as a joke, she was angered that people even ship TaiQrow.

But let me ask you this. Are you the same person you are now that you were 10 years ago? People claim that Qrow was somehow cool in beacon…because he’s cool now. But Taiyang, who raises two kids, and holds a job and a house…cannot be ruby’s father…because he’s not cool? And that somehow he was never cool? I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had to be cool to be a parent. I also had no idea people were only allowed to be in one relationship per lifetime. Raven freaking abandoned Tai for the tribe. Summer chose Taiyang over Qrow. People literally make Qrow out to be either an OC in a shipping fanfic, or a Naruto fanfic where Naruto is written to be fawned over by a girl whose canonical spouse, boyfriend, or male friend is somehow rewritten as evil.

1 year…..in 1 year since Raven abandoned Taiyang and Yang, Summer Rose the friend of Taiyang’s who he had known for 4 years, became more than a friend.

So no….Taiyang is not a two-timer…he moved on from Raven.

22. “Why can’t Taiyang talk about Summer?” To WHO? He’s barely got 15 minutes of screentime, and the writers did NOT do him any favors when they had Qrow demand he leave so Qrow could tell Ruby a secret Ozpin trusted him with, before telling Ruby to run away from home leaving only a freaking note. Terrible daughter. Even Yang was prepared to do the same! To a man whose first wife abandoned him! At least Weiss has a legit reason for acting as she does against Jacques, several at least. Ruby? No. Now why would Taiyang talk about Summer’s fighting style to Yang when trying to get her to stop acting like Raven in her fighting style and semblance? Sure if there was more time…but RT at the end of the day isn’t some money-hungry political entity, it’s a startup at the end of the day, they don’t have the ability to do a full anime episode. Also, Taiyang cannot go out on these active missions…he was a schoolteacher who did not do missions until only recently…he was retired, remember.

23. “These fanworks make more sense to me”

Qrow fans have tried using fanworks to justify their theory or ship, the same way Blacksun fans or Adam apologists make similar claims, and even Raven fans try to claim Raven is somehow a good mother. What do these fanworks do? Hate on Taiyang. Dismiss Ruby and Yang being half-blood siblings. Ignore multiple elements of the show or scenes. Occasionally shit-talk the writers.

Every time somebody tries to make a “rwby rewrite” or “rwby alt” or “Qrow is ruby’s father au” they cannot do it without completely rewriting the characters in so many forms and even the show, till Qrow, Raven, Taiyang, and Summer are NOTHING like they are in the show…And ONLY how a shipper wants qrow to be.

Or rewriting qrow to be nothing like he is in the show.

Most Alt or Rewrite consists of making Taiyang abusive, a cheater, or refusing to allow him to interact with Summer, while regularly pushing qrowxsummer at each other.

So no…it’s not that it makes sense to them through some fanart….a headcanon that has been debunked is no longer headcanon. A theory that is shut down is no longer a theory. There’s a reason anti-vaxxers and flat-earthers still exist. Because to them, their theories make more sense than reality. Which is why people still believe Qrow is Ruby’s father the same way people believe vaccines cause autism. Neither are true, and no amount of facts will shut them down, but they’re both popular theories.

24. “Qrow Rings and Cross”

People claim that Qrow was married to Summer or that his cross represents him mourning Summer. Did the STRQ photo, in v3, the same volume as his appearance, not show Qrow with his rings, his cross, and angrily scowling, while Summer was right next to Taiyang?

25. “What about Summer Rose’s choice?”

Remember how I said making Qrow’s character based on solely Ruby and Summer, ignoring everything regarding the tribe and ozpin giving him hope, and the grimm reaper…was bad writing? There’s a reason people hated v5. Raven was proven to be the deadbeat, Qrow was shown to have friends, and that Taiyang knew about Salem, and of course it was confirmed that Yang and Ruby again were sisters by Raven.

Now how about Summer? Team leader….took a man and a daughter who were abandoned by her friend…and made them her own. Yang calls Summer Rose “Supermom” and “Her Hero”…was literally willing to storm a bandit camp so Raven could use her portal to take Yang to Qrow, so she could get to Ruby. And yeah, I know the RWBY critics scream “why didn’t Yang just look for Ruby in Mistral?” It’s a bloody kingdom, and Yang was pursuing a lead, that Tai had given her, and Qrow told Yang he’d look after her sister. Remember that? Oh wait, RWBY Critics forget, my bad. Anyway, she’s more of a sister to Qrow than his blood sister Raven, she’s more of a mother to Yang than Raven, and she’s more of a spouse to Tai than Raven. Good Stepmother. Non-married couple. Relationship built on trust. Blood is not the same as family. (Example Weiss’s remark to her father) (Or Dom Toretto)

So making Summer into a throw-away character who dies so that a brooding jerk of an alcoholic can claim character development? Making a woman nothing except a throw-away for a man to get development is BAD WRITING. For God’s Sakes, even Pyrrha was written better than that! She interacted with team rwby, nora was always helping her out, and so was Ren (though those shakes are a crime against humanity” But when Qrow fans try to demand he’s ruby’s father? Their fanworks make Summer as much of a flat character as Preston Harvey from Fallout 4, where they make Summer unable to do anything but be obsessed with Qrow and having his child, similar to how Preston cannot think of anything other than “Another settlement needs your help, I’ll mark it on your pip-boy”

26. Finally, the accusations that CRWBY are lying.

“You have to be ****** if you believe CRWBY when they say Qrow isn’t Ruby’s father” “CRWBY is lying, it’s what writers do” “It’s okay for writers to lie, it’s good for plot” “I’d prefer it if CRWBY was lying to us” “Monty is dead, the writers should change it now” “Monty is dead, nothing else in the writing matters” “Monty was hiding the truth from us” “CRWBY is hiding the truth about Qrow being Ruby’s father” “It makes sense for CRWBY to lie to us” Look at this…Twitter, Youtube, Facebook, Tumblr, Reddit, instagram…. The first quote? Was a woman who was using an anti-autism anti-disability slur defending the theory. Never have I ever seen people so obsessed with a theory that they would deny reality and be rude to the very writers and original creator. But the QrowxSummer and Qrow is Ruby’s Father fandom group has made countless cases of this. THIS is how they defend their theory? And people upvote, like and support these remarks? SHAME SHAME SHAME

Conclusion:

I get how people desire qrow to be Ruby’s father for ships or fanfics.

Even to where they make Taiyang a hated character just for the sake of making sure nobody disagrees with them.

But the attacking of RWBY and CRWBY, claiming that “this needs to be fixed”, or getting angry at RT for not giving you the non-canon ship you want? Claiming that just because you want it to be so, that somehow your ship/theory has “validity?”

That reflects poorly on the fandom and critics.

But then again…. It’s easy to ignore what’s real and what’s a fact that when theorists and ship-pushers and CRWBY Haters on youtube tells you to stop listening to monty and the writers, and instead believe whatever you want and claim whatever you want, Because surely you know what’s better for the show than the people who worked on it, right? Ha ha ha, no. THAT is the ULTIMATE disrespect somebody calling themselves a fan could ever give. And if you think or agree with that type of logic, you should look in the mirror.

I looked for backup sources to defend CRWBY and RWBY, you’ll find them below.

Backup sources include:

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/qrow-is-not-rubys-dad/422o_0rbCYuoXj36VoB7obK3MXPZRbPKkz5

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/why-the-qrow-is-rubys-father-theory-is-wrong/z668_nQlIxu0dmRdRpEPxqE3qlWlZEmoE2

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/qrow-cant-possibly-be-rubys-and-heres-why/8BB5_LPVCmu2bonkw8eEP3Yokg8m8zJlgNV

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/why-qrow-isnt-rubys-father/lXXx_5QoUQuPVGo3Wgko3wJ52mMBl7644P

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/is-qrow-rubys-father-short-answer-no/422o_0rbCYupDKezxPxpdje7dRn3nB8YvZ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPbft3KJd6o

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/qrow-is-rubys-dad-theory-debunk/d33g_pQEcbu1NKQoMEv0kmDpP6N8bmowkkq

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demonslayedher · 3 years

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Buriko-Senpai! This is such a wonderful blog to read, and I love your art so much! It's so nice to see other traditional artists out there! What's your thoughts on the demon slayer marks and their affects after Muzan's defeat? Do you think they're a purely physical effect, or a supernatural curse like Ubuyashiki's? It seems like in the latter case it would be lifted? In Tanjiro's status report, he mentions wanting everyone to be happy "when he's gone", and hints of preparation for the future...

Thank you for the kind words on my art! (≧◡≦) Glad to know people like the style, I like the feel of trad art both for the final product and how the pen feels in my hand, haha~. I love all the additional possibilities in digital art, but will leave that to the people who are good at it. Glad you find my blog a good read too, because we’ve got another lengthy read ahead.

As for the mark and whether it works in a purely physical sense or a curse sense, I'm ok thinking of it in either way, depending on its purposes in post-canon fanwork (but of course, you can do whatever you want in fanwork totally inventing the mark or completely ignoring it too). As Gotouge never states exactly what becomes of Tanjiro, Giyuu, and Sanemi, I don’t feel we can declare it working one way or another. We'll consider it from both angles, but in general, I think canon evidence leans toward an avoidable physical impact. Even that, however, leaves room for interpretation on strict "25" might be or not.

If we approach the curse direction first, the worldbuilding surrounding the Ubuyashiki curse gives a lot of framework for the mark being a curse. The second fanbook even gives us more circumstance and age-related perimeters that seem very arbitrary, like how only one male will survive each generation and how the daughters will also die young by sudden illness or accident if they don’t marry out. As the curse is tied to Muzan’s/demons existence, it is completely lifted once Muzan is eradicated, but Kiriya still anticipates dying in his 20’s and does not feel relieved that it’s gone until he’s in his 30’s. This would put Giyuu and Sanemi in their 50’s if they’re still around, and with their own curses effectively gone, they’d probably have spent the past couple decades insisting to Kiriya that he can relax.

If the rebound of the mark is a supernatural curse, there are a couple other things that make sense about this to me, in the light of cosmic justice at play in this universe. First, it’s a general rule in a lot of philosophies and other works of fiction that to gain something powerful, you must pay the price and sacrifice something. Second, the Ubuyashiki family is cursed to carry the sins of one of its members until they can stop that demon member. While Demon Slayers may not necessarily be carrying the sins of demons, we see demon marks at play in this series first, though its effects are not clear until we see how Nezuko is stronger when her vines appear. A Demon Slayer also gaining extra strength like this is, perhaps, taboo.

As for the mark being a purely physical effect, I think the emphasis on physical effects of the mark (especially how in Chapter 129 Muichiro analyzes its effects on body temperature and the heart), and how throughout the manga it is continually stressed that the Demon Slayers are mere humans even if Breath helps them push the natural limits of human ability, lend to a more physical interpretation that in order to push so far past normal limits, it has to borrow against the natural human lifespan. This is how the characters in-universe also interpret its effects. If we look more into what Muichiro says:

Muichiro: The anger was too strong for me to have any handle on my emotions. I believe that in that moment, my heartrate exceeded 200 beats, and my body felt as hot as though it was burning. My temperature would had measured at least 39 degrees or more. Shinobu: !? Could you move like that? That would be life-threatening. Muichiro: Right. That’s why I think it’s a matter of falling into one category or another. Whether you die or survive that moment is what determines whether a mark will appear or not. Amane: A heartrate of over 200, and why a temperature of 39 degrees? Muichiro: That’s because when I was received treatment at Kocho-san’s place I was running a fever. When my temperature was taken, the thermometer read 39 degrees. At the time I would have been said to have a mark appear, my body was just as feverish.

(For reference, according to searching with the same terms used in the original text, your top heartrate is 220 minus your age, making Muichiro's 206 beats per minute. The average for someone in their 20's is 120~140, somewhat hard exercise would put it at 150, and hard exercise puts it at 170, according to the Borg scale. Normal body temperature in Celsius is 37 degrees; while 39 C = 102.2 F.)

If we look back at when Tanjiro is first facing off against Daki, he considers how he gets more power out of Hinokami Kagura than from Water Breathing because it suits his body better, but he is not yet physically capable of the switch between them. As he psyches himself out in Chapter 77, we see that he has physically been trying to prepare himself for this, and he’s shouting at himself to set his heart ablaze. Clearly, Tanjiro is leaning into that advice from Rengoku-san, and if he’s on his way to getting the mark, he’s been taking that advice somewhat literally.

In Chapter 78, as he purposely raises his own temperature to fight the side effects of switching to Hinokami Kagura, we get a flashback that Kiyo-chan was very worried that Tanjiro was running a temperature of 38 degrees (100.4 F) for three days, but Tanjiro begged her not to tell Shinobu yet because he felt fine in that sustained feverish state, and was able to put more power into Hinokami Kagura that way. (This may also be part of why the mark seems to have a different effect on Sun Breath users, as their body draws from this power in a more sustained way.)

We can probably think of most of the other Breath Users who attained the mark as having gotten it in a similar way to Muichiro. In a fit of high emotion and desperate battle, their body pulled from its natural reserves, and similar to a human and/or demon being exposed to lots of Muzan’s cells all at once and either dying or quickly adapting, they attained a mark and relied on that temporary extra burst of strength. While it either happens or doesn’t happen for the others (Muichiro plainly states he was unaware of a mark’s appearance) based on being the flow of tense battle, Himejima seemed to have gained enough ability that he could choose when he wanted to tap into that power. When we’re first left not knowing what else Amane told the Pillars, Himejima openly wonders what would happen in his case (seeing as he is over the age of 25). In the third light novel, we get a brief scene of Himejima pulling Muichiro aside after that meeting to ask if he’s alright with this, since he’s just found out that he has no chance already of living a long life. Muichiro is fine and wonders about Himejima, who is also fine with this. They both are willing to do whatever it takes to fight Upper Moons and know their survival has never been assured. Himejima goes on to say similar things to Kokushibo in Chapters 169 and 170, when we the readers are finally told about the limited life expectancy. The two of them both sort of expect Himejima to drop dead that night because of his limited stores to draw from. Himejima would had preferred to not raise his temperature so much until facing Muzan (seeing as he knows he’ll be racing against time), but knows he has no choice but to start while facing Kokushibo. Kokushibo is somewhat impressed with his control of getting a mark and his preparation to die, and he finds it a waste of Himejima’s ability and likewise is like, “why not preserve your flesh as a demon” because, as we find out in Kokushibo’s flashbacks in Chapter 178, this was part of what motivated him to accept Muzan’s blood. He couldn’t handle the frustration of his polished techniques being wiped out by a short life span, especially since it would mean he was soon out of time to match or best Yoriichi. If we go back to that conversation between Himejima and Kokushibo, Kokushibo loses his cool (hahaha, that feels like a bit of a pun here) the moment Himejima is like, “there was one exception to the rule though, wasn’t there?” I suspect that Yoriichi was the exception partly due to Sun Breathing being a more perfected, sustained form of pushing the limits of human capability, and Yoriichi being born naturally perfect at it, so his body didn’t need to scramble looking for extras sources of power like hastily (or slowly) borrowing against his lifespan. What’s very interesting about Kokushibo is that he also regularly sustained his mark, so perhaps it’s possible he could had lived past 25? Here's what really key: We also don’t know about these early marked users. Did they regularly sustain their marks, or did they only show up regularly when they battled demons, repeatedly borrowing against their future lifespan? Or was it a one-off thing for each of them, like it was for Giyuu and Sanemi? It’s possible that even if Giyuu and Sanemi are doomed to shorter lives, since they both only had the marks for relatively short periods of time on a single night, they might well exceed 25 years. The fact that Gotouge gave them descendants (as opposed to only implied reincarnations), and because they are both characters generally written as dense in the ways of love and close personal relationships, that sort of implies they needed some time before leaving behind offspring, and I hear a lot of voices in the fandom displeased with the idea of them leaving children behind when they know they won't be around to raise them. Since we don't know any canon details on this, let's cut the boys some slack and say they took a chance on being happy. After all, all their time in the Corp already teaches them tomorrow is never assured.

Side note while we’re on the Sanemi topic, he attains his mark right after Himejima brings his own forth (because Himejima is a badass who can just be like, “ok, now”). While he comments to Himejima what a good idea it was to do Pillar Training so he could attain that powerful state, it’s also possible that being in the presence of someone who already had one was part of what triggered Sanemi’s body to access that state as well. The nature of the mark’s spread from person to person is another tick in the “supernatural curse” box if people like that interpretation more.

Let’s take a look back at Tanjiro, though.

Tanjiro, our special Hinokami Kagura boy, was already a special case for his own knowledge of Sun Breathing (however imperfect), and his own sustained mark (though as Genya notes in Chapter 134, it tends to transform slowly, and as Tanjiro remarks in response to Shinjuro’s comments in Chapter 81, his mark was not something he was born with like the original Sun Breath user was, it was but a childhood injury which took on a different shape when he was injured at the Final Selection). While Amane cites him as the one who started the trickle of marks appearing again, we know in the Pleasure Quarter arc than Tanjiro was been unknowingly training himself to make the mark appear, like the Pillars later tried to do in training.

Tanjiro also, however, has the very unique experience of undergoing repeated cruel and unusual suffering in battle against Muzan, basically dying, turning into a demon with more of Muzan’s cells than any other demon in history, and turning human again with man-made medicine all in the span of about two hours.

We can’t really compare Tanjiro’s case to Giyuu’s and Sanemi’s very easily. Besides the slightly different nature of his mark (which Muzan says will still kill him anyway if he becomes human again, but whether he says that based on a cosmic rule or historical precident, we don't know), we simply don’t know all the details of how Tanjiro's flesh has been affected by everything that happened to him in that two hour period. It seems safe to say that becoming a demon is what saved his life since it rebuilt his flesh and supercharged life back into him, but since he wasn’t a demon long enough to have fully integrated those new cells, the entirely reconstructed parts of him (his left arm and right eye) are essentially lifeless. However, there may still be some amount of reclaiming that his body did during his demon minutes, for the whole right side of his face should be paralyzed (yet he can still use it expressively), and there was probably internal damage throughout his entire body and other various injuries (like stabbing himself) which were repaired enough for him to survive. Had he been a demon longer (long enough that his body with Muzan’s memories likely would had broken down the medicine Kanao gave him), my guess is that he would had fully integrated these body parts, like how Nezuko gets to keep her legs despite all the times they were blown or chopped off.

But we also know that Tanjiro had to take a few months to recover (his visitors looked like they waited the whole three months before getting permission to see him), and that his condition allows him to live and work, but he generally is in a weakened state. Again, rather than only having borrowed (on multiple occasions) against his own lifespan, we don't know the extent of the damage and repair he's undergone.

While he’s got 25 as a historical benchmark to anticipate, and as you mention, he does seem to fully anticipate that early demise, his case is so unique that it could go in any direction. Tanjiro might live longer than 25, as this would give him time to pass on Hinokami Kagura to at least his eldest son, but like Tanjuro, he’d probably have a pretty weak constitution for the rest of his dwindling life. But also worth noting, the phrase is that they die by at least age 25. That means some of the Warring States era swordsmen probably died before that age. (｡•́︿•̀｡) I don't feel this is likely for Tanjiro, Giyuu, and Sanemi, but it is worth noting as a possibility.

#kny fandom theories and meta #kamado tanjirou #kamado tanjiro #tomioka giyuu #tomioka giyu #shinazugawa sanemi #himejima gyomei #himejima gyoumei #tokitou muichirou #tokito muichiro #tsugikuni yoriichi #kokushibo #kokushibou #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer

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meichenxi · 2 years

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2021: what happened??

Because this year was shit for everyone, I'd like to focus on what I did achieve. Here, in no particular order, are some of the things that I did during 2021:

- Graduated from my bachelors in linguistics with a first

- Completed my dissertation on constructed languages, one of the first academic papers that has ever been published on conlangs, and a piece of original research working with over 25 conlangers that I'm very proud of

- Read substantially more fantasy and other fiction than the year before

- Successfully completed National Novel Writing Month and wrote 50,000 words of my first novel, bringing the total word count to just over 110,000 words written since June

- Spent over 2 months with my mother, which is the longest I've spent with her since I left home. Our relationship isn't perfect but it's much better than it used to be, and this time has been able to be healing for both of us now that my brother’s not here

- Lived in over 5 places and cities #sofasurferlife

- Reconnected with a friend who I haven't spoken to since first year of university, and now live with her!

- Applied and got into a master's degree in Descriptive Linguistics, to start in February

- Word of Honour, Couple of Mirrors, Nirvana In Fire 2, Meteor Garden, Hikaru no Go, random bits and pieces of other cdramas…

- Spend substantial time - often upwards of 3 hours a day - tutoring a family in English. I grew very close to them and help support the kids through difficult times and periods in their life, and feel that (hopefully) I have genuinely made a difference to them

- Made a lot of new friends online. You guys - and you know who you are - have made such a difference to my life this year

- Got a new cat!

- Started playing the flute again, as well as the tin whistle, and realised that Chinese has inexplicably helped my ability to play by ear. I don't understand how this works either, but back when I actually played the flute regularly in a concert band, I was absolutely hopeless at playing anything by ear. Now naturally everything else including my technique is worse since I haven't practiced in years, but my ability to play by ear is inexplicably 20000 times better. Who knows?!

- Before I enjoyed myself, improved my flexibility a huge amount! I can almost do a scorpion now :D

- Tried out CrossFit, which I really enjoyed, and will definitely go back to once the pandemic is over and it’s safe.

- Watched a lot of people fall into the river from my window. Very amusing.

- Stayed with my friend and his girlfriend for some time. It was lovely and me and said girlfriend are now incredibly close and once spent an evening washing clothes in the bath drunk by stamping on them and singing bad sea shanties and I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy

- Saved a hedgehog from being killed!

- Did some art again for the first time in years

- Went to a a pride, only my second one! (And made a fool of myself because all the kids there were so young and didn’t know wtf I was talking about)

- Had a wonderful Christmas with my family, which was especially remarkable because my brother was there, and we haven't enjoyed each each other's company since about 2007. But it was actually really nice and I'm hopefully our relationship can move on going forwards.

- (Also, my brother had a secret child!!!!!! Wtf!!!!!)

- Started learning German again

- Started learning Python

- Figured out a lot more about myself, which is not to be overlooked! Some of the things I learnt I won't go into, since this is a public space, but I know they will be incredibly useful for me going forwards.

- Had a few sobering wake up calls about health: my hands have gradually been more and more painful, and eventually I've had to look into other input methods, such as dictation software. That's what I'm using to write this post! It's difficult, and it's taking some time to get used to a very different type of writing, but I'm confident that with support I'll get there. Crucially, it means that my hands are far less fucked than they were before :D :D Which is good. And hopefully means I'll be able to write again, which I haven't been able to do since NaNo because they’ve been hurting so much. It also work for German and Chinese!

I haven't been keeping track of any hours spent on Chinese or other languages, so I'm not able to do a langblr roundup of everything I've achieved this year in terms of languages. To be honest, I could have done a lot more - but I'm just pleased that I continued learning at all in what turned out to be one of the worst years of my life.

Thank you everyone for your support! Seeing the interaction on some of my posts - and seeing what you guys got from it - has helped me get through.

What have you guys achieved during 2021, in terms of languages or otherwise? I'd love to hear!

- meichenxi out

#meichenxi manages #fuck 2021 all my homies hate 2021

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