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steddiecameraroll · 4 days

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Robin is gawking at him and he can’t figure out why.

“What??” Steve shrugs.

“Repeat what you just said.”

“What? That I’d kiss Eddie?”

What’s the big deal?

“Yes, yes that.” She narrows her eyes and leans over the counter. “Since when?”

“Since always?” He doesn’t understand what she’s not grasping. “Why are you so surprised? Don’t his lips look super soft?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never once clocked the smoothness of his lips.”

“Oh come on,” Steve scoffs. “You’re telling me after months of hanging out with him, you’ve not once looked at his mouth?”

“Oh I’m sure I’ve looked at his mouth. The man does not shut up, but I can say I’ve never noticed his lips.”

“Whatever, I don’t believe you, but OK.” He shrugs because there’s no point in arguing.

“Steve, I’ve never noticed any man’s lips. Including yours. And the fact that you have is what I’m trying to explore right now.”

“What do you mean?” He feels a weird twinge deep in his gut.

“What do you mean, what do you mean?” Her voice is oozing with disbelief. “How many other men’s lips have you noticed?”

“I don’t know, I don’t keep track.”

Obviously. That would be really hard to do. He’d have to have a notepad or something in his pocket at all times.

“You don’t keep track?” Her eyes look like they’re going to pop out of her head. “Wait, so you’re telling me there’s too many for you to remember?”

“Yes? I mean, even today there was that one customer with that jean jacket and that guy with the colts hat. And it’s only 11.”

“Oh my god.” Her jaw is on the floor.

“What? I don’t get it. We talk about customers we think are hot all the time?”

“OH MY GOD!” She slaps her hand over her mouth.

“What? I seriously don’t understand what’s happening right now.”

“Steve.” She swallows before continuing. “You’re attracted to them?”

“If they’re hot, they’re hot. What’s the big deal?”

“I have NEVER thought a man was hot. I can understand how they’re attractive but me myself and I, doesn’t get it.”

“Never?” That doesn’t make sense.

“Never. I’m a lesbian. That means I’m attracted to women. What you’re telling me, so very nonchalantly, is that you, Steve Harrington, have found men attractive. In fact, you’re telling me you find Eddie Munson attractive. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Not really.” He crosses his arms and cocks his right hip out.

“You’re not as straight as you might think you are, buddy.”

“What?” No.

“You find more than women attractive.”

“But I’d never date a guy?”

“Oh really? Tell me, have you ever thought what Eddie’s like as a boyfriend? Or like maybe how big his dick is?” She sounds frustrated.

“Well…kinda?” He remembers that one weekend he had everyone over to hang out at the pool, and the first time Eddie got out of the water. His swim trunks were wet and clinging to his body, and Steve’s eyes clocked the outline of the man’s dick. He did wonder if the man was a grower as well as a shower. “It was only because it was like right there.”

“You’re a disaster. What about the boyfriend thing?” She tilts her head and shrugs.

“Wait, so you’re telling me you’ve never thought what it might be like if we dated? Not even at Scoops?”

“Oh my god, no! Les-bee-an,” she waves her hands in front of her body.

“Whatever, it’s not like I’ve thought about marrying him or anything. Just kissing and like how sex would work, y’know between us. If he- or if I wanted him to- which doesn’t sound bad, I’ve just never done that so I don’t know if I’d like it. Would he like it?” Steve leans on his elbows over the counter, and almost gets lost in thought over the idea.

“Now you’re having sex with him?” Robin squeals.

“How do I know if I don’t like it if I don’t try it? Maybe I’d love it. This feels like a way for me to find out.”

“I think I need a break. Don’t follow me.” She points at him. “I’m happy you’re exploring this…thing, but I’m not equipped for this. My best friend likes boys.” She shakes her head and walks away murmuring to herself.

“I don’t know that I…,” he trails off when she disappears into the back room.

Steve’s thumbing through one of the movie release magazines on the counter when the bell over the entrance catches his attention.

“Hey, big boy.” Eddie gives Steve a bright smile as he saunters up to the front counter.

“Hey, man.” Steve closes the magazine and stands up straight. Perfect timing. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Oh yeah? Missed me?” He leans over the countertop and looks up at Steve.

Steve rolls his eyes. This goofball. “Yes, I’ve got a question for you. Rob and I were talking earlier and she said she’s never checked out a guy before. That because she’s a lesbian, she’s not attracted to men, at all. But that makes no sense because I’ve found a ton of guys attractive and I’m straight. Maybe I’m not dating these men, but I’d definitely fool around with them. She’s lying right?”

Eddie’s staring at Steve with his mouth slightly agape. The smile is gone and Steve can see more of the whites in Eddie’s eyes, like he’s surprised or something.

“You get it, right? Am I crazy?” Steve’s heart is starting to pick up.

“F-fool around?” Eddie’s voice cracks a little.

“Yeah, like, hand jobs and making out or whatever. Maybe more? I don’t know, I’ve never done more than a blow job but I’ve thought about it.”

Eddie shoots up with a violent cough, like he swallowed wrong. He starts slamming his fist into his chest trying to catch his breath, and Steve stands there watching the guy have a coughing fit.

“You OK?” Should he get Eddie some water?

Eddie raises his finger asking for a second, and keeps slapping his palm against his chest. Steve stands there getting more and more self conscious as each second passes. After a good 20 more seconds Eddie seems to have caught his breath and gives Steve a small smile.

“Just for, uh clarifications sake, did you give the blow job or get the blow job?”

“Both?”

Who only receives and doesn’t pay back? That’s rude.

Eddie huffs and stumbles forward slightly catching his hands on the counter. He nods at Steve, then lets his head dip down, his hair falling down over his face.

“Right, obviously. Did, uh, did you enjoy it?” Eddie’s voice sounds strained.

“Yeah? Who doesn’t like sex? I haven’t done it a lot but yeah. Don’t you like it?” Is he missing something?

“Uh huh,” Eddie flips his head back and looks at Steve. “I like it a lot.”

Steve shrugs, and then watches Eddie drag his eyes slowly up Steve’s body like he’s cataloguing every inch of it. The direct attention catches Steve by surprise, and he can feel a blush spread across his cheeks.

“So, y-you get it, right?”

“Yeah,” Eddie sighs. “I just didn’t know you got it.”

“What? Of course. Doesn’t everybody find all hot people attractive?”

“Some of us,” Eddie’s voice is almost gravelly now, and it’s doing something to Steve’s body.

“Some? What do you mean?”

“Not everyone thinks like we do, Steve. Wow,” he shakes his head. “We. As in, you and I. As in you, Steve Harrington, pretty boy extraordinaire. Ohhh this changes everything.” Eddie murmurs almost to himself. “How did this, uh, topic come up with Robin?”

“We were talking about you, but hold on.” Steve waves his hands around. “Not everyone? You’re telling me that not everyone is attracted to everyone?”

“Me?” Eddie ignores Steve’s question. “What about me? You were talking about me?”

“Yes, I said you had kissable lips but go back. I don’t understand. I can name five guys right now who agree with me. I mean, two of them had girlfriends when we messed around. In fact, Stacy was there one time. She only watched but like, what are you saying?”

“Kissable lips? You think…? Wait, five? You’ve had a threesome?”

“I don’t think it’s a threesome if she didn’t get involved. Right?”

“Riiight, ok wow. So you’re straight, you say?”

“Yes, why is this so hard to explain? I figured if anyone would understand it would be you, because you said you’re bisexual. So you’re actually attracted to men and women as in you’d date them both.”

Eddie blinks at Steve a few times before nodding slowly. “Right, cause that’s what that means. Um, is Robin still here?” Eddie’s looking around the store now trying to find the woman.

“No, she had the early shift.”

“Ok, well, um so I’m gonna go home and blow my brains out, but uh if you want to…,” Eddie taps his fingers on the counter. “If you want to come over later and find out how soft my lips are, let me know.” He slaps his hand in the counter, and turns away heading toward the door without glancing back at Steve.

“Um, OK.”

“See ya, Harrington.” Eddie throws his hand over his head and pushes himself through the exit.

Steve shrugs and scoops the magazine back into his hands. Maybe he’ll get to see how soft Eddie’s lips are around his dick.

#steve harrington is a disaster #steve naked in bed next to Eddie while hes panting and trying to catch his breath: I gotta tell Rob I liked it #Eddie face palm groan #they’re two months deep before steve realizes he’s not straight #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddiecameraroll posts #my writing #steddie ficlet

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fillinforlater · 6 months

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Phone Part 10: Return of the Angel +3

Male Reader x Kim Minju, Yeh Shuhua, Jung Eunbi (Eunha), Hwang Eunbi (SinB)

Length: 1550 words

Tags: strap-ons, lesbian sex, spitroasting, double penetration, overstimulation, loveless sex, voyeurism, watching, fingering thigh riding

TW: messy crazy bs

(A/N: this series randomly returns because I just needed to get this idea out of my system for good. This might be the conclusion to it, but probably not... well, maybe you send me some ideas to where this could lead up to.)

"I'll get going."

Bomi kisses your cheek, that sore cheek, sore like every patch of your skin, every bone in your body and every damn muscle, some of them you didn't even know could hurt before today. Hell, you don't even have the strength to give Bomi a proper goodbye, a weak wave is all you can muster up.

She'll not be mad at you. For what might have been either 15 or 150 minutes, you have taken turns on her and Shuhua's pussy—licking, fingering, fucking them until those tight caverns each got a big load in them. In the meantime, Minju has been their plaything. Especially Shuhua has this cruelty towards her "friend", edging her with fingers, reddening her thighs with extremely hard slaps and always promising that she'll get your cock—just to claim you with her pussy again.

You turn around when Bomi closes the door. Shuhua and Minju wrestle on the couch, the latter clearly outmatched when Shuhua puts her in a headlock with her thunder thighs. Minju tries to escape with licks on Shuhua's clit but can't find it—the nightmare of so many guys.

"Cut it out, you two," you groan, fingers on your temple.

"N-no," Minju whines. "Minju still needs cock, wants cum in her tummy!"

"I can't." Point at your limp dick, absolutely spent. "And I have a headache. At this point, I’ll start to hate sex. Fucking hell, I'll make myself tea."

"Oh, I have an idea," Shuhua smirks and reaches for her phone while you leave for the kitchen. Whatever it is, you don’t want to deal with it. You need something relaxing, something herbal, to heal all the soreness in your body. It’s incredible to think that there is something like too much sex. You’re really close to giving up on it, even though two nymphomaniacs have turned your house into sex hub.

“No, no, stay down. You’ll get cock soon,” you hear Shuhua belittle Minju, who just whines in her usual tone. She seems to not be a bit tired after all this.

“Well, it won’t be mine,” you shout back, watching the hot water fill your cup and turn the leaves into something magical.

“Yeah, I know, you’re basically useless at this point.” Ouch, that stings. “That’s why I called back up.”

“You what?!”

“They should be here any minute now.”

Shuhua is spot on. Before your tea is finished steeping, your door bursts open. But instead of a hung man, two rather petite women enter your house. Both have a bored look on their face and immediately get to undressing. Overcoats seem to be the shit right now, and no matter who comes through your front door, they always drop it on the floor.

“Uhm, hello?” you carefully greet them before remembering that this is your home, your kingdom! You can’t let strangers just walk in like they own the place. “This is kinda rude, you know?”

“Don’t care,” says the taller one with long, raven hair, dressed only in jeans. “We have business to do. Also, it’s rude to just stand there, naked, while two ladies walk in.” You blush and hide your crotch with the tea cup.

“We aren’t ladies, stop kidding yourself,” the other snarks back, while climbing out of her skirt. “I bet he is a good fuck, you shouldn’t kill your chances already.”

“Eh, I’ll think about it, but first—” Both girls suddenly pull out two strap-ons from God-knows-where and put them on with the casualness one would wear a fricking hat. The taller one hasn’t even removed her jeans, wearing the harness over it, while the other is fully naked and flaunts her butt at you.

“Yeah, I know, we got shit to do.” The short haired girl slaps her butt and you almost drop the cup when she walks past you with a wink. “Shuhua, where is this needy bitch? Or are you the needy bitch?”

“Oh, it’s so nice to see you, Eunbi and Eunbi,” Shuhua greets them and points at Minju, still trapped in between her fat thighs. “Look who I found.”

“She is insatiable. Incredible that he can still stand,” the shorter Eunbi says.

“Hm, maybe he is a good fuck. Anyways, we’ll try our best to keep her down,” the taller Eunbi says. The three conspirators try to agree on a strategy on how to fuck the angelic girl. You’ve become invisible in your own house, your entry to the living room goes largely unnoticed. Except for Minju who pouts at you when the two Eunbis lift her up and put her in a doggy position. The shorter one is below her, the other is ready to press the plastic cock into Minju’s puckered hole.

"Should we do it at the—nevermind, you're already in." The small Eunbi groans in annoyance, the other looks unapologetic and starts to rut slowly against Minju's butt. The long shaft forcing open Minju’s hole, paired with the denim on her sore, pink buttocks, must feel incredible and incredibly painful at the same time. Who knows which of the two makes Minju wail and moan more.

"Come on, Eunha, shove it in her sex," Shuhua urges on the Eunbi below as she excitedly stares at the unholy sight of fake cocks on ready holes. Her eyes mimic the camera lens for a porn shoot, while you're the director, watching the scene play out. Either way, it's good content.

"Minju's pussy, Minju's ass, so full!" Minju is loud, louder than before. Shuhua is having none of it.

"Shut up. SinB, make her stay quiet. And don't let her cum."

Two hands move to cover Minju's mouth, two cocks move in and out at a rapid pace, two sets of eyes watch on in awe. Satisfied with what crazy madness she has come up with, Shuhua sits down next to you and lazily jerks your cock with two fingers. Oh, that victorious smile, glassy, lewd eyes, you'd love to wipe it off her face.

"You like what you see? Now you don't have to do anything anymore."

"What was that about me being useless?" Grab her by the throat and spit in her face. She looks pissed, you love it. "I came in you, even when Minju was willing to do anything to get my load and now you're still cruel to her? Seems mildly unfair."

"And what are you gonna do about it? Fuck her, if you can."

Shuhua is bratty, but just as much as she is bratty, she is also light. You easily place her nude frame on your thigh, her still dripping, creaming heat right on your skin. She hisses and you tighten your grip on her throat.

"I'm going to make you cum—you know I can, it's super easy—but only if you tell those two friends of yours to make Minju cum until she passes out.”

“Fuck, bastard,” Shuhua hisses. With your thumb on her clit, this is easily the quietest and tamest she has been for hours. Her body twitches, an honest reaction to how much she is addicted to the mind-blowing orgasms you can get out of her. Such a small finger, yet she is squirming, contemplating, faltering.

“Those two are so cruel,” you tell Shuhua, nose deep in her greasy hair. “They fuck her so hard, just to pull out at the last moment. Why do you want to torture Minju so bad?”

“Be-because she needs to get to the-the point.”

“What point?”

“The point where sex is no fun. She can go forever. She will never stop, your—fuck—plan to make her p-pass out, useless.”

This explains a lot. The Angel is insatiable, her lust seems infinite, but Shuhua’s plan—won’t it make things worse? At some point, SinB and Eunha will have to stop and Minju will be more desperate than ever. She will wobble through the house, tackle you the second she sees you and will force your cock in her pussy no matter what. A true tragedy.

“Well, I don’t care,” you say and tug at one of Shuhua’s nipples, she bites her fingers. “You’ve been too greedy, time for her to—”

“Fuck, fine.

“SinB, don’t hold back. Eunha, suck her tits, overstimulate this bitch!”

“What?” the two ask in unison and disbelief.

“Do-don’t ask questions, please, just do it!”

The way the two purple plastic cocks move in and out of Minju with the sole goal of too much pleasure has you satisfied and in a new heat, your cock hardening slowly but surely. With an ever increasing rhythm, you move your thigh up and down and Shuhua starts to ride, her loudness increasing again. She is as close as Minju and it only takes SinB pulling those messed up oak strands, you to rub Shuhua’s clit, for them both to explode.

You focus not on Shuhua shuddering, shaking on you, but at Minju’s expression. Her eyes jump wide, then tears shoot out and flow down, just to be blocked by SinB’s hands on her mouth. She’d be so loud, words messier than her hair would fill the room. After this peak, both collapse. Shuhua meets the floor, Minju falls on top of Eunha, who still thrusts, even spanks the Angel’s ass.

You’re hard again. Where is this going to end?

#kpop smut #female idol smut #girl group smut #male reader insert #izone smut #male reader #male reader smut #minju smut #gidle smut #shuhua smut #gfriend smut #viviz smut #eunha smut #sinb smut

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barblaz-arts · 3 months

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HELLOOO!! Im in LOVE with all your Chaggie (and Wenclair obv-) art!! I was wondering if youd be up to share your thoughts on the other hazbin characters? Simply cuz Im very curious and youve been a favourite content creator of mine for a while whose opinions and takes on different things i value A LOT! So id love to hear your thoughts on the rest of the main cast(and more if youre up to it hahha)!

@phantoswordsman15

The main cast huh

Hmmmmm I dont particularly hate them, but I have some opinions that people might not like and I'm aware there's a lot of uh sensitive people in this fandom, so I never said them unprompted

But since you asked!

Alastor

Let's start with the infamous Alastor. I think he's a very entertaining character! His horde of simps annoy tf outta me when they're being misogynistic and homophobic towards Chaggie and Vaggie, but I quite liked him when I make myself forget certain parts of the fandom. He's funny and conniving and intriguing. The fact that he apparently sold his soul is super interesting to me. I'm on board with the people theorizing that he sold his soul to Lilith. I bet he's cozying up with Charlie so that he can use it to break his contract somehow. Feel like he also used the deal with (presumably) Lilith so that he could be strong enough to be the overlord he became.

With that being said, I'm really surprised with the direction they took with him. You'd think that with him being a favorite of the showrunner and the fandom, he would probably be portrayed as the coolest mf in hell. But I really like that it isn't really the case within the show. Certain denizens dont even know him and older overlords like Zestial seems to scare him and Carmilla just dgaf about him. Hell, Alastor's loss to Adam was a lil embarrassing ngl. Like. I know he's one of the oldest human souls and that's why he's powerful but... It's Adam.

Something about him that I noticed is that he seems to be more bark than bite. In particular in his duet with Lucifer, initially Lucifer had the upper hand because he's objectively more powerful, humiliating Alastor with his angel magic, but what Alastor used to his advantage was his words and charisma, as can be expected of a radio host. He's always taunting his enemies, but does it actually make him stronger than them? He "won" that duet with Vox but Valentino said Alastor only"almost beat" him when they had an actual fight. He ruffled Lucifer's feathers but at the end of the day Lucifer is still leagues more powerful than him. He talked big when he was fighting Adam but he almost died and had a breakdown over it.

He's really a lot less "cool" than I expected the show would have him be portrayed as. Kinda pathetic honestly, how he's so insecure and angry whenever he isn't the strongest guy in the room. And i actually really like that! He reminds me a lot of Rumplestilstkin from Once Upon a Time.

Something I kinda hesitate to say tho is... I dont want him redeemed. I dont want him to actually care about the hotel crew and change his ways. I like him as the fucked up man he is and really want to see how fucked up he can be, just so that if he ends up being the huge antagonist, his downfall would be all the more satisfying. Like yunno that moment when Light/Kira was finally defeated? I wanna feel that again.

Angel Dust

I love him! We found his dialogue a lil annoying at first in ep 1 but the writers did a lot better in ep 2. He's a neat guy. His character gives interesting implications for me as to what makes a person a sinner in this show. While you have people like Alastor who obviously ended up where they did because a cannibal murderer, I get the feeling Angel ended up in hell because he was abusing his own body, which is a sad thing to think. If I remember right from my own catholic upbringing, abusing the body is considered a sin because your body is a temple. To think that Angel could be in hell for poisoning himself, not for harming others, is just sad man. I look forward to seeing more of his journey.

I'm not touching on how his SA was tackled btw. While I'm a victim of sexual assault myself, what i experienced was far from what Angel does on a REGULAR basis,so I don't feel like i have any personal or professional right to say anything about it. Not every victim's case is universal anyways. All I can say is, his line about purposefully damaging himself so he could be broken enough to no longer be Valentino's "favorite toy" hit me harder than I ever expected this show to.

Husk

Confession: I... I dont feel all that attached to Husk at all, I am so sorry Husk stans 😭

Okok that feels so mean to say I'm so sorry. I actually hesitated to say anything because I dont want to hurt people's feelings. But since you guys are asking and I dont like not being genuine, I'm telling the truth.

A lot of my feelings about Husk is heavily affected by the fandom anyways to be perfectly fair. Why? Because a lot of criticisms against Vaggie is easily applicable to Husk, maybe even more so, and yet I dont see even the same level of hate towards him that Vaggie received because his chemistry with Angel is so much better than Chaggie... Apparently...

I just dont see Husk as a character outside of being a plot device for Angel's development yunno? I get it, he isn't a main character like the main 4 are(Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, and Angel), i just find it hard to well and truly like him because of the fandom's double standards. When we found out someone was gonna die in the finale, my brother and I actually thought it was gonna be him because he doesn't have a big enough role to play in the plot to be a HUGE loss, but has a significant enough connection to a main character to have an EFFECT. He very much just felt like the love interest for Angel and nothing else. Which isnt necessarily a bad thing, but is frustrating when i see sooo many people label Vaggie as such(when she isnt!) and hate her SO MUCH for it.

I wanna see more of him tho I really do. Like the man used to be an overlord. He said he wanted to find someone who could relate to "the gruesome ways in which he's damaged" but what does that even mean? Yes i know about the castration but aside from that what suffering is Alastor putting him thru when all he has to do is be a bartender rn? There must be more and I wanna see it and finally feel for him.

Nifty

I love her a lot. That's it. The character ever. Her gremlin energy reminded me so much of Peridot, it's great. Kimiko Glenn did a fantastic job as the comic relief character and I hope she gets her own song next season. Her basically being everyone's little sister was kinda adorable even tho she's probably the scariest person in that hotel next to Alastor. I hope she gets to stab Valentino next. Just kill that MOTHerfucker

#asks #hazbin hotel

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weebsinstash · 3 months

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Hello! I don’t know if you do this but I was wondering what your thoughts were for a Yandere Lucifer Morningstar from Hazbin Hotel? I’m having trouble writing a good representation of him and would like some advice.

Honestly I'm gonna humble myself and say that it took reading someone else's post to make me like, REALLY notice the nuances of Lucifer's character

This post right here literally made me rewatch his scenes and go "oh wow he IS like DANGEROUSLY DEPRESSED"

He doesn't remember Charlie told him where she is, or what she's doing, and he can barely follow a conversation despite clearly trying to pay attention. He also just seems kind of scattered, and um, HE LITERALLY MAKES A JOKE ABOUT DYING FROM FALLING OFF THE HOTEL BALCONY like dude is making jokes about death in front of his fucking daughter, like my dudes, I think this guy is BARELY holding himself together

He clearly loves loves LOVES Charlie but he doesn't really know how to properly articulate himself and I have a feeling there's a lot he's concealing from her, and another big question is, is his depression from being cast out of Heaven, or from something to do with his missing wife, or a combination of both? Either way this man is clearly dealing with like, really bad issues. And Charlie also mentioned he wasn't around a whole lot when she was younger, so... did he have depression back then too?

So, that all said, I feel like a yandere Lucifer would almost be, potentially invigorated by his darling? Given a new lease on life? He may not be 100% his old self again but, you get him to like, 65, maybe 70% on a good day. You give him another reason to get out of bed in the morning, or afternoon, or evening or, whenever he can drag his depressed ass out of bed

Given what we currently know, I feel like a romantic yandere Lucifer would pretend to only be platonic and do his best to poorly conceal his feelings because of his whole... "can't ask his missing wife if it's ok for you to be their third" ordeal, the man still wears his wedding ring, and a platonic yandere Lucifer basically adopts you like another kid, because uh, I mean for one he apparently canonically missed a lot of Charlie's childhood, and he's also an ancient fallen angel, so he's got that age advantage on you no matter how old you are. I mean what are a few decades when he's literally thousands upon thousands upon thousands--you get the idea

Yandere Lucifer would want to stay close to you, helping watch over you, maaaaaybe being overly paranoid about you randomly disappearing and going missing For Very Obvious Reasons, and in the process he winds up being unintentionally overbearing. I mean, he did it in irritation, but he basically showed up at Charlie's hotel immediately saying it was a dump and all of HER FRIENDS were 'a bunch of losers'. He never completely pulls his punches when there's something he's displeased with, even if it has something to do with someone he loves, so his darling would get much of the same treatment. "Ohhhhh, you uh, you wanted to move across the city? That's, um, definitely a fun idea! BuuuuuUuuut, what IF, instead of doing that--", like, he tries to playfully tug you in 'the right direction' until you make him put his foot down

Hmmm... what would him losing his cool look like... well, we've already seen that he doesn't mind throwing hands and WILL KILL, but will stop if he's asked to or there's a good reason. With you, though, you're not typically going to be there to stop him from offing any rivals or bad influences, so I imagine he'd be kinda casual about it, actually! He already thinks pretty lowly of Sinners, so say he finds out you've been ditching him and Charlie to go out drinking with strangers, making new friends, maybe having a few one night stands? Yeah, some of those people definitely aren't calling you back, and Lucifer doesn't really see a problem with it. These people are kind of the worst and really don't deserve you, anyways! If anything he's helping clean up Hell for you and his daughter and keeping you safe :)

Losing his cool with YOU... I think would involve him using his powers to finally confine you, maybe even going demon mode to intimidate you into submission in a very dad-esque "now you listen HERE" kind of way. We don't really know the scope and scale of his powers but I can picture him at least being, obviously much stronger than he looks, and transforming to fly you "back home" where he puts you in your room where no one can reach you without his explicit permission (and you also can't leave~)

One second you're just drunk and jokingly defying him, teasing him, maybe even picking him up and swinging him around because you're bigger than him, to you he's just a silly little guy! Meanwhile this Grown Ass Man Who Is Also The Actual Devil is getting more than just a little frustrated you basically view him as a wacky little cartoon more than a grown man, one who has had sex and has had two wives and sired a child. You're just teasing him and stumbling around drunk when he's trying to get you to your hotel room to get to bed to sleep, like you're clearly not taking him seriously, maybe even playfully putting your hands on him (TOTALLY not riling him up in 'fun' ways) and he finally just huffs and snaps his fingers and, you're suddenly magic'd to bed! You're laying there blinking confused and he's tucking you in and chuckling that "you're such a handful!" before leaving you to sleep and somehow INSTANTLY knowing when you're up.

You ARE in his house, after all...

Not to be gross but uh..... I'm not saying "yandere Lucifer who has the power to still get a Sinner pregnant if he wanted to and you wind up fooling around with him and you're waking up with his little apple symbol on your lower tummy as one of those like hentai womb tattoos to show you're pregnant" but uhhhhhhhhhhyeah that's what I'm saying, and whether it was accidentally or intentionally, he's keeping it, and thus, keeping YOU

I just feel like he'd be very goofy and awkward and bad at hiding his feelings and being very clearly overprotective and jealous in ways everyone else but you manages to pick up on (god Alastor would have some MATERIAL) and, in a romantic/sexual setting he eventually just loses his patience with you not seeing him as a man and just gets... progressively more forward. You pop back into the Hotel after a night out and Lucifer's already hammered at the bar with Husk, stumbling up to you, hanging off of you, slurring and embarrassing himself, "You'reeeee SO pretty... like SO pretty.... do you wanna have *BELCH* you wanna fuck? Cause I LOVE to fuck, like when I FUCKED my wife to make my DAUGHTER, my wife and daughter that I have, 'cuz im a DAD, 'cuz I'm a MAN!" and you're just giggling and ruffling his hair, "You're so weird, dude ^^" and walking away while Lucifer internally screams, wondering just how DIRECT with you he's going to have to be

meanwhile Charlie is totally cool with all of this and sees this as a weird double whammy of Curing Dad's Depression + new family member and friend hurray! and she's totally actively either shipping you with her dad or aiding and abetting him in his weird attempts to absorb you into the Morningstar family

#yandere hazbin hotel #yandere hellaverse #yandere x reader #hh #sinprompts

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silvershiningtarot · 3 months

Text

🧸Pac: Message From Your Divine Masculine & Feminine 💪❤️🍂

Disclaimer: this is a channeled message from your Divine Masculine and Feminine and see what kind of message they had to say to you guys. Enjoy! Remember this is a general reading.

Pile 1🫢 Pile 2🤞

Pile3🫂

🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾

“Hey, You! This is your husband. I'm gonna come out and say it. I'm kinda little jealous. I'm looking at someone else's success. Sometimes I be wondering how the fuck they got it and I didn't. That shit should be me. So I am trying to build up my business and seriously, be fucking jealous baby. But whatever though. Don't be like me. Baby, please, be better than me don't look at other people's success thinking or wishing that was you. Nah, you don't want their success because you don't know how they got theirs. I am your divine masculine. I dealt with a lot of bullshit from people who tried to knock me down. But I fought my way back up. I keep my head on my shoulders. I am my boss. I am an honest man/woman. I take accountability for my mistakes because I dealt with a lot of dishonest people in the world. I don't fuck with liars. I can't stand them. It frustrated me. So I know you are dealing with a lot of karmic friends and those people are lesson-learns. Don't worry about that contract is done with these friends of yours. I'll be there standing by your side making sure that these assholes don't touch you. That's right, I am your bodyguard, and if anyone has a problem with it then guess what I'll knock their head off their bodies. I dealt with a lot of bad friends in my life who stole from me and continued to say they loved me. Like the fuck! Wack! Forgot those bastard babies. You are so much better than that. Your aura and energy are perfect for them. So let's move on. I've made some mistakes in the past. That is unforgiven. Even I believe myself is unforgiven. But all the mistakes you've made and that I have made will help us grow to become better. But I am willing to change my attitude and my mindset on love ❤️. So, baby, we can do that together. I can feel it in your soul that you are willing to change your life and mindset. Here is my surprise to you. Will you marry me? I will get on one knee for you and ask you in front of the whole world that I will marry you. Do you fantasize about our wedding? Because I do. I would want to take the next step with you. Okay, whoever cyber-bullying you let me know. I will bust their head wide open. My advice to you is that don't listen to people and their bullshit. People love being happy in misery. So take my advice and focus on yourself and our future together. Imagine our wedding together. Once we do meet, baby, we will start our life together. You and I are each other’s new beginning. Remember us and where I'll be your new beginning your fresh start. We all need something new. My Queen to be as my forever. Don't ever tell me never. I promise you I'll make your life wild. I'm already crazy about you, my love. If you find me attractive then that's cool with me too. Yes, I have a big egotistical issue but I am working on it.

🍂❤️‼️🍂❤️‼️🍂❤️‼️🍂❤️‼️🍂‼️❤️🍂‼️🍂❤️‼️

“Okay, I know you think I do flirt with a lot of females and males. But that's just my nature. I am a charmer. I am a friendly kind of person. But with you, you are something special. You make me work for you. There are times I don't like that but other times, I fuck it with heavily💪. You put me on a whole different level than I ever experienced in my life. I have a little message for you, I'll be the type to bring you flowers even if you don't like flowers I'll change your mind about it. I'm starting something new in my life. I had to walk away from a situation that wasn't meant for me. I'm ending a lot of cycles in my life. I'm planning on relocating somewhere else. Maybe, closer to you. I want to clear my mind and move forward. I'm working on healing my inner child and watching a lot of cartoon movies and shows 📺 to heal my wounds. I feel that you and I will watch a lot of movies together. I know you need to heal your inner child as well. Watch some movies and cartoons shows whatever makes you happy. Shit, I'll watch it with you. That's not a problem with me. I feel that you need to pay close attention to your inner child. They need some attention. I have been feeling so lost. I went through some shit that I felt that nobody wouldn't understand. Because I felt stupid, unloved, and not heard. I didn't work on myself so now I'm trying too. I know you probably dealt with toxic connections whether it's a relationship, friendship, or family relationship. If that shit is toxic for you then might as well, get the fuck out of it. I dealt with a gaslighter and manipulated people in my life. I'm still going through it. I don't want you to go through it. Because I don't want you to feel lost or lose yourself for someone else bullshit. It just fucking lame to me. Excuse my language. I know it. I'm still dealing with a toxic relationship. I'm trying to move forward but my ex keeps coming around and I'm still in a relationship. Don't be as stupid as me. I keep getting heartbroken by her/him but I'm trying.”

🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸💐🌸💐🌸💐🌸💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸

“Hey, Baby do you hear me calling? I don't want no drama. Because you're my darling. I'm sorry, my Goddess. I've been hard on myself lately, a lot of fears have been creeping on me. I don't know how to confront someone. Got any advice? I'm afraid to talk to you sometimes I feel that you are going to reject me. I dealt with a lot of false mask people. Some of my friends aren't showing who they are and my ex-lover is mine. I think I've been betrayed. I don't have time for it. My heart has been shattered plenty of times. I am just ready to move on with my life. Are you? I know you probably have unfinished business with your ex and so do I. But I am manifesting new love in my life. I want that new hope so I can have a fresh start with you. Can you believe me when I say it? I fantasize about having good sex with you. I wanna fuck your brains out. I wanna blindfold you and feed you strawberries 🍓. I wanna put all kinds of fruits around your lips and put them in your mouth 👄. Your tongue is sexy. Can I lick it? It’s just this ex won't leave me alone. They won't back off me. Every time I've tried to move on she/he always pops back up. What am I curse? Do you feel the same way? Like don't you wish that we could just open our eyes and then we just ended up in each other’s lives? That would be fucking fantastic. Haha 😂 anyway, how are you? Have you been eating? Are you eating healthy food and water? I hope that you are because your body is important to me 💔 your health is important to me. I want us to watch our children grow up and watch our grandkids play in our grass while we sit in our rocking chairs. As old people together. You are my rest of my life. Remember that.”

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starpirateee · 8 days

Note

hi! i'd love to see a continuation of the isekai spies au or the curt joins chimera au. love your work!! ❤️ 💜 💙

I will gladly give you a continuation of the spies isekai, that was a Lot of fun! Sorry this took such a long time to get out, btw, but in the meantime I was asked this:

So I'm going to cater for both, if that's alright!

The time travel idea stuck fast in Curt's mind. It sounded ridiculous on all fronts, but it was the only Hong that made sense. It seemed like they were in the wrong place, though they didn't seem to stand out any.

The real question was how they'd done it. How they'd managed to go from having it out for each other in the middle of the weapons museum, to being here, where it was apparently fine to be ambiguously flirting with the men at the bar.

For now, the idea of how they'd gotten there wasn't the most important point of the moment. He was drinking with the second man to ever try and pick him up, and all things considered, he was having a pretty good time.

For all intents and purposes, Ted was great. Curt just wished that this wasn't a one time thing— that maybe, he'd have another chance to be himself and to be a little free before he and Owen had to find a way back to where they'd come from.

"Does this not, I dunno, bother you at all?" He asked, leaning against the bar and ordering another round.

"What?"

"This. Seeing someone once, talking like this, and then never seeing em again?" It had never bothered him before, but his dealings were strictly professional and never meant anything.

Ted raised an eyebrow. "You think I'd have asked you out if I didn't think you'd be a one off? You're not the first, man, and I'm pretty sure you won't be the last..."

Curt frowned, his brow creasing as he took a sip of his drink. Ted noticed his expression and shot him an amused glance. "What? That bother you?"

"More than it does you, apparently... It just feels— weird..."

"Oh, you're the type who ain't shy for commitment... You with someone?"

Curt hesitated. In the most literal sense of the word, he was with someone. He'd arrived with Owen, and he was still here. But in that specific sense that Ted was asking about, he wasn't with Owen anymore. Hadn't been for years...

"No, but I was..."

"How long?"

"Five and a half years... Something like that."

"Jeez, not bad..." if he had to guess, he'd have said Ted genuinely looked impressed. He'd leaned forwards a little, and his eyes had went wide. "Special type?"

"Yeah, for ages he was the only one." And it was both dangerous and a comfort to remember Owen as he used to be. All those late nights on the floors of cheap motel rooms, all the uttered words they'd only ever whisper to each other... That was sacred. "But, y'know, those things aren't meant to last."

Ted held his glass out in toast to that. "Hear that, pal. What was his name?"

"Owen."

"Ehh, fuck Owen." Ted had uttered that so confidently that Curt almost choked on the drink he was taking. He laughed, taken completely off guard, and even Ted chuckled. "No, I'm serious! You want commitment outta life, I'm sure you won't have any trouble in finding someone, nice guy like yourself."

"... Thanks," Curt smiled as he felt his face heat up, ready to blame it on the heat of the room. "What about you?"

Ted huffed a breath of laughter. "Yeah, that kinda life's not on the cards for me. Got myself a bit of a reputation, y'know?"

The conversation spanned for a while. Curt really started to let himself go, but kept himself in that balance of opening up and revealing more than necessary, out of a force of habit. Eventually, he and Ted parted ways— Curt was implicitly told that it should feel amazing to walk off a conversation with a guy's personal phone number— and he immediately found Owen again. After all, there was a lot to catch up on. Owen was a familiar face in a sea of strangers, and he'd been the one to propose that they stay by each others' sides.

Needless to say, Owen didn't look impressed when Curt found him. It wasn't like he'd caught any of the conversation, but it had been one hell of one, and that desperation was not a facade that was easy to keep hold of. Trying to act like he was upset about Curt supposedly "standing him up" was way too beyond him.

He had finished Curt's pint too. Frankly, he needed it. And Curt didn't look too offended, so it was no more than terrible American beer under the bridge. The two of them left the bar after, not a word between them until they were a good distance from the premises. Then he turned to look at Curt, half curious and half bitter. "So, how was he?"

Part of him genuinely wanted to know what that kinda of freedom felt like. What it was like to get that close in a room full of people who didn't think twice. The other part of him had seen past all that and just hoped that leaving him hanging for all that time was worth it.

Curt's eyebrows quirked. "Ted? He was great. Real nice guy. Why? That bother you or something?" He shoved his hand in his pocket, feeling the coaster on which Ted had written his number. Quite the unorthodox method, he had to admit, by quite charming all the same.

"Bother me? What do you think I am, twelve years old?"

"Jealous that I could pull before you?"

Yes. Partially. Those words would never leave him, but he thought it nonetheless. "Sod off, my god, you're a child."

Curt smirked. "Anyway, since that's clearly getting to you, I— uh, got what you wanted."

"What, you found out where we are?"

"Yeah. We're on some island in lake Michigan. Hatchetfield." He felt himself absently crease the corner of the coaster, and removed his hand from his pocket quickly.

Owen hummed. "We weren't in the states when we started this, we were in the middle of fucking Europe. How the hell did this happen?"

"That's the part I don't know. Y'see, I think we're gonna have to check the date, too."

"Why's that?"

"Ted called my Bel Air "vintage"."

"Hold on, what?" Owen stopped in his tracks and thought that over. "But you've had that thing from new, and that was only a few years ago..." His eyes went wide. "Oh lord, we have to find a newspaper."

Luckily, that wasn't a hard thing to acquire. Owen dipped into one corner store, and came out with a newspaper folded under his arm. He and Curt opened it together, and his eyes immediately landed on the topmost header.

"Oh my god..."

Judging by that reaction, Curt had seen it too. They exchanged a glance, letting their shock speak for itself, and then glanced back at the paper to make sure they were seeing the same thing.

"Owen, am I reading that right?"

"I think you are, Curt. I.... Think you are." 1962 was no more. Owen had to put his jealousy aside for a moment, because he realised that things were truer than he thought when he said Curt was the only person he had as a cornerstone.

The two of them would have to put their differences aside too, even for a little while, because the truth of the matter was plain. Curt's car was vintage. Men must be allowed to get with other men. Constant economical changes meant it was probably normal for beer to be that price.

The date was June 7th, 2019.

The two of them were stranded in the States, some near sixty years from the time they knew.

#spies are forever #saf #curtwen #agent curt mega #owen carvour #ted spankoffski #hatchetfield #starkid #void offering #star mail #nova's tags →#i've been involved in a few conversations lately about how fruity ted should be #if canon isn't gonna make him fruitier i sure as hell will #he's got hideous fashion sense and 0 rizz but god damn if he isn't the zestiest mf alive #just wanted to mention that so you have a mental image here #&& let it be known that i've unironically named them spy iced tea. they've kinda become iconic

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aanoia · 8 months

Note

So I love speak now (Taylor’s verison) and like I was lowkey hopping for you to do a better than revenge (Taylor’s version) for Sirius black/James potter x reader please?

HII THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST so so sorry it took me a few days to get out, I hope you like it

Better Than Revenge

Sirius Black x reader words; 2,380 warnings; cheating, fake blood, reader is kinda a dick but its deserved ig uhhh idk how i feel about this fic, so give me some feeback please (if it's not the usual i provide please tell me so I can figure out what's wrong) but IM BACKK i stopped writing for a few days because I've had so much going on lately. I hope you guys enjoy though I know that as I wrote the first part of this yesterday there was something I wanted to mention up here but I can't remember so if something doesn't make sense than ig that's it also yall im so drained and overhwelmed right now so the stories will be coming out slower (they are what make me feel better, so i want to do im not gonna force myself too, they'll just take a bit longer to create) if you love a song, the marauders era, and my writing, request a song fic and your wish shall be my command. enjoy my loves

Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did

Ha-ha, time for a little revenge

The story starts when it was hot, and it was summer, and

I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him

I smiled happily as I walked onto platform 9 ¾, hand in hand with my boyfriend, Sirius Black. The group had hung out this summer and Sirius had finally asked me out. After what felt like a lifetime of waiting, he was finally mine. And only mine. At least, that’s the impression I received.

We greeted our friends we hadn’t seen since the year ended, and I didn’t fail to notice the way Sirius dropped my hand to tightly hug a blonde I had never met. I narrowed my eyes slightly, and it seemed James had the same idea as we shared a weird look.

She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause

She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"

I ran into the Gryffindor common room, shock filling my veins as the painting slammed shut behind me. I stood in the entrance silently, mouth open and eyes focused on a piece of thread which was unraveling from a pillow on the ground.

“Y/n?” Remus asked as he, James, and Peter all walked over to figure out what was going on.

“What happened?” Peter asked, scratching his arm lightly.

I looked at James and shook my head, tears threatening to spill. His posture deflated in defeat as his eyes widened.

“He didn’t? Did he?”

“Who did what?” Remus asked, looking back and forth between James and I as the door flew open.

“Y/n-”

“Don’t.” James cut him off, gently pulling me to the side and stepping in between us. “Just don’t.”

I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it

I underestimated just who I was dealing with (oh)

She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum

She underestimated just who she was stealing from

“I’m not just gonna let her slut around and steal my boyfriend, James.” I explained and he shook his head.

He sent me a teasing smile, “Whatever happened to girls supporting girls?”

I rolled my eyes, “Nothing. It’s girls supporting girls. Not girls supporting whores.”

“What has that man done to you?” Remus asked, shaking his head.

“He’s broken me, duh. And I’m gonna show both of them not to break things that aren’t theirs.”

She's not a saint, and she's not what you think

She's an actress, whoa

“So, Miss Standley, could you show us your potion?” The potions professor asked and the blonde nodded and stood up.

I winked at James as she began explaining what she did, he rolled his eyes, “So first, I put in diced Mandrake, and it has to be diced because if you just slic-” She was cut off by a yelp as her potion exploded in her face, the green goo covering her entire body. The entire class laughed as I silently slid my wand back into my pockets, missing the glare Sirius sent my way.

The girl ran out of the classroom, Sirius following after her, but not before making sure I saw the glare he sent my way. I smiled with a laugh, simply waving my hand and winking at the boy as he passed by.

He was a moth to the flame

She was holding the matches, whoa

“She what?” I asked Remus with wide eyes and he groaned.

“Don’t be so loud.” He pleaded, looking around to make sure no one heard him.

“She kissed you?”

“Yes.”

“And he breath tastes like garlic?”

“I’m gonna kill you.”

I shrugged with a smile, “At least we know she isn’t a vampire.”

Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys

On the playground won't make you many friends

She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind

There is nothing I do better than revenge (revenge), ha

“What are you doing now, Y/n?” Peter asked, causing Remus to look up from his book mid bite and James, who had his arm around Lily, to look over.

I smirked as I watched Sirius and Dolores together, and it only widened as she picked up her goblet to take a drink. I silently mutter an incantation to make her pumpkin juice turn to rum, causing yet another explosion and black soot to darken her face and hair. James and Peter bit back laughs as I sat proudly, arms crossed as people once again laughed at her. Remus just rolled his eyes and continued reading, only slightly finding this situation amusing.

She looks at life like it's a party, and she's on the list

She looks at me like I'm a trend, and she's so over it

I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling, and

She thinks I'm psycho, 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things

I once again smiled proudly as people wore buttons around the school, telling people to vote Y/n L/n as Gryffindor prefect.

I looked up from the small Bowtruckle I had found on a tree as a shriek filled the hall. The Bowtruckle crawled under my sleeve in fear of the annoying sound. Before I could stop myself, I laughed loudly as I saw Dolores fuming over what the buttons turned into when she came near them, Sirius stood beside her, trying to calm her down. Dolores Clitoris (horrible rhyme but it’s the best I got).

Her head snapped towards me, her face became unbelievably red, a vein popping out of her neck as she stormed over, Sirius trailing behind her like a lost puppy.

“You!” She screeched, pointing her finger at me as she fumbled to get her wand. In a moment, she put her wand up only to be met with mine already in her face.

I grinned, “Better think about your next move here, sweetheart. I’ve won against you in duels for DADA multiple times.”

She glared heavily, “Yeah well, you’re just a jealous bitch who couldn’t keep a boyfriend.”

I fake pouted at her, “Awh, you’re so cute. You enjoy your little puppy, I must be off.” I said, stepping to the side and grabbing my bag. As I walked away I paused and turned back around. “Oh, and, you were barely a hard component in getting prefect. I would have rathered some competition, but we both know what you did to them.” I smiled and she looked at me in shock. “Yeah, that’s right, I know what you did.”

But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know

Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go

They didn't teach you that in prep school, so it's up to me

But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity (think about what you did)

“Peter, what the hell happened?” I asked as I burst through the infirmary doors.

“Y/n, chill out.” James said immediately.

“Was it her?” I asked quietly and he nodded. I looked at Peter in sympathy, knowing she did it only to get back at me.

“Don’t you worry though. She looks worse.” Remus added and Peter smiled at me. I quicked my brow as my eyes wandered to Dolores on the bed, a small cut on her eyebrow as her eye area puffed up largely.

I rubbed Peter's shoulder excitedly, “I’m so proud. I feel like a proud mother.”

She's not a saint, and she's not what you think

She's an actress, whoa

He was a moth to the flame

She was holding the matches, whoa

“No, he can’t know.” I heard a familiar voice whisper and I looked up from my potions essay.

“Dolores, I don’t like sneaking around with you. It’s risky.” Another voice said from behind the bookshelf.

“Baby, I’ll break up with him soon. Don’t worry. Just don’t leave me.” She whispered again and my eyes widened. Why am I not surprised?

Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys

On the playground won't make you many friends

She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind

There is nothing I do better than revenge (ha-ha)

“I’m serious. She’s cheating on him, guys. I don’t know what to do.” I told the three boys as we sat in an empty classroom.

“I think it’s time we join you in your pranks.” James decided and I smiled.

“I haven’t heard a smarter thing come from your mouth, Potter.”

“Oh Godric, I’m in.” Remus said begrudgingly and Peter nodded with him, saying he was in too.

I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey

You might have him, but haven't you heard?

“There you go, sweeties. You know what to do.” I said quietly as I set down a mama Niffler and her babies, the small group immediately filing through the cracked open dorm of Dolores’ room.

I gave James a thumbs up and he nodded, standing in front of the girls stairway as I also snuck into the room. I cringed as I heard the god awful singing of Dolores and carefully opened the bathroom door. I snatched her clothes and quietly muttered a spell which would turn her water into fake blood in five minutes. Which means I had to be quick. I threw the clothes into the bag I had put an enlargement spell on on the inside and went to her dresser before stuffing all her clothes in it. I locked her friend's dressers with a spell only I could undo and snuck back out after carefully setting the Nifflers - who had gained quite the collection of shineys - into the bag.

I made it out just in time as the moment the door clothes loud screams rang out. I ran down to James who was talking to an angry Sirius. Sirius took a moment to look between James, me, and the bag in my hand while he listened to his girlfriend's cries. I looked at him hard and simply shrugged before walking past him and sitting on the couch, thanking Peter for the Nifflers and Remus for the bag as loud footsteps came down the stairs. I sniggered as Sirius gently led Dolores up the stairs to the boys dormitory, the rest of the Common Room laughing at her crazed figure that was barely covered with a towel. Oh how much fun that was.

I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey

You might have him, but I'll always get the last word

Whoa

(Come on, can you take it back?)

(Come on)

“You’ve got some real nerve.” A cold voice said and I jumped slightly, thinking I was alone in the common room. I looked up from my book to see Sirius glaring at me from the bottom of the boys stairs.

I laughed, “Do I?”

Sirius rolled his eyes and stepped forward, “Yeah, you do. You’re just a jealous prick.”

I snorted as I stood from my comfortable spot on the couch, “That’s not how you talk to a woman, Mr. Black.”

“I don’t care. You an arse to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Someone who's kind!”

I scoffed, “That girl is far from kind. You know it.”

“You don’t know her!” He said, raising his voice slightly.

“Yeah, well, you don’t know her either, Sirius!”

She's not a saint, and she's not what you think (no)

She's an actress, whoa (you know that you deserve it)

He was a moth to the flame

She was holding the matches, whoa

“And how the fuck would you know?” He fully yelled this time.

“Oh, I don’t know, man. Did you know she tried to kiss James?”

Sirius scoffed, shaking his head, “You’re a liar.”

“Maybe. She also put Peter in the infirmary.”

“He gave her a black eye!”

“Because she attacked him, for fucks sake!”

“She said he attacked her and you put him up to it!” He yelled and I barely picked up the sound of footsteps scrambling down the stairs.

Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys

On the playground won't make you many friends

“And you’re going to believe her over your best fucking friend? I mean, you’re goddamn delusional, Sirius.”

“And you’re jealous!”

She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind

There is nothing I do better than revenge (ha-ha)

“Goddamnit, she’s fucking cheating on you! She’s cheating on you, and you fucking deserve it. And I hope you two know that I’m not fucking done. I will not stop until I’m satisfied.” (I will never be satisfied, he will never be satisfied!) I yelled and stormed past him, hitting my shoulder roughly against his and ignoring the soft calls of Remus and Peter as James went to Sirius.

Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?

'Cause I don't think you do, oh (no, no, no, no)

Do you still feel like you know what you're doing? (No)

I don't think you do, I don't think you do (come on), let's hear the applause

“So, David, is it?” I asked the boy as I sauntered up to him, my button up purposefully unbuttoned enough to see whatever cleavage I had.

The boy looked me up and down with a smirk, “And to whom does it concern?”

I fake laughed loudly, jokingly pulling on his tie, “Me of course!” I said in a sickly sweet voice, cringing inside at myself.

“What do you need, beautiful?” He asked as the doors to the library opened, in the corner of my eyes I saw Sirius and Dolores walk hand in hand. Bingo.

Come show me how much better you are (feels so much better, yeah?)

See, you deserve some applause

'Cause you're so much better

“This.” I whispered and pulled him in by his shirt, smashing my lips. I smirked as a broken gasp filled the quiet area, barely opening an eye to see Dolores standing with tears filling her eyes, and Sirius looking confused. I closed my eyes, deepening the kiss as I raised my middle finger to the two. Paybacks a bitch.

She took him faster than you could say "sabotage"

my masterlist

taglist (if u wanna be added js comment :));

@loving-and-dreaming @1lellykins @poetrypirate

#aanoia #romance #marauders era #the marauders #james & peter & remus & sirius #remus lupin #sirius black #harry potter #marauders #peter pettigrew #maraders era #hp marauders #marauders fanfiction #the maraunders map #marauders map #sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius being sirius #sirius orion black

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andypantsx3 · 3 months

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Ok Andy this had been on my mind for a while now and I really want to hear your thoughts on this!

So we all know that Shouto is pure husband material, the kinda guy you'd be proud to introduce to your parents! But yk all those years of abuse and trauma (our poor bby ;-;) would definitely take a big toll on anyone, right?! So I was reminiscing about the earlier episodes where he is all closed off and cold to everyone, and that really got me thinking... what would dating Shouto REALLY be like.

How much of his behavior in a relationship really be affected by his past? Obviously nobody is perfect and even though our princess man comes close what do you think his shortcomings are as a person/partner? What do you think his toxic traits would be? What could be some of his bad habits? How would he react during an argument? I used to hc that he would be really calm and passive but then I remembered this scene

Ofc us being his partner would change things, but he DOES lash out at times. The police officer hadn't yelled at them, he was just explaining what they did was wrong according to the law (which could be unfair but thats his job) and he straight up called him a slur 💀 (well yk in this society where so many ppl have animal related quirks it probably is a slur? Idk tho). He was sorry later but still. I was so shocked when I internalized the fact that Shouto does infact have quite a temper, even when he's not rude/ aggressive about it. It doesn't make him bad or anything because 9/10 times it's well warranted and I am just a pussy who doesn't handle other's anger well but yk...

WHO WOULD EXPECT A TEMPER FROM THIS LIL FACE?!

I am really wanna take his character and study him under a microscope and I am really interested to see your pov on this. Also don't feel inclined to agree with anything I said if you dont, I asked you precisely cuz I wanted a different way of looking at him from mine.

Btw none of this is to paint him as a bad person or partner because of a few shortcomings or his trauma. We all know he's too precious for that and that would be hypocritical of me especially since I have many of my habits and unhealthy ways of dealing with stuff that I dislike, but I also feel like he has so much angst potential in issues that aren't necessarily rooted in his family but moreso his own personality. Healing is often a "one step forward and three step back journey" and while I hate to watch him struggle, his perseverance gives me a lot of strength. Also obviously people change over the course of time and character development and all that, but we see even after the MASSIVE amounts of character development Bakugo has he still retains a lot of his previous qualities and obviously still struggles with a few things. I wonder if it's similar for Shouto. I wonder what he struggles with 🤔 (idk why I am scared but I don't want ppl to take these dumb sleepy thoughts of mine the wrong way yk lol)

I support my mans rights, his wrongs and everything in between :>

(p.s. I am so sleepy rn I don't even know if any of this is coherent cuz the points are flying all over the place but I hope you get a gist of what I am trying to ask. I love myself some sweet angst when it comes to all my blorbos but when I think of Shouto nothing obvious comes to mind. Also whenever I write even an ask or question like this my respect for writers keeps increasing tenfold! How do you guys write fics at like 4 am and it's still a masterpiece and I can barely string my thoughts together... )

Yes!!! I have so many thoughts about this, particularly as someone who also has daddy issues and a hot temper but actively works to be better as well lol.

I do think for the most part we've really seen Shouto move past who he was in those earlier episodes. That is not to say he still doesn't have those feelings, but he arguably manages them in a more regulated way. He has the temper but now he also has the tools and the perspective to better articulate himself.

I think generally Shouto would work hard to be calm and patient during an argument, but as with any human being, mistakes will be made and tempers will spike. I think during particularly bad arguments he'd get more closed off, like in those earlier episodes, would try to go off by himself so that he doesn't explode with that white-hot rage.

I do think, thankfully, that Shouto's ability to show empathy and compassion even in the middle of what we know are the most emotionally trying times of his life (the fights with Dabi), bodes well for his future ability to communicate and regulate himself on the whole. I do not see him as the kind of man who would yell or break things; I see him as the kind of man who now does everything in his power not to be like that.

And also with a face like that, would we not just let him win any argument anyway?? LOL

#ask andie

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picapicamagpie · 1 year

Text

Sing Marine Life!

I’ll deal with you at the end.

As promised, here’s the follow up post including the marine animals! We don’t see many in the film, so I’ve broken it down by each species.

Squid

I love these guys. They don’t do much, but they look cool. The most notable thing about them is their bioluminescence, which is indeed a trait some real squid have, though not to this degree. Based off their size, bioluminescence, and spotted patterns, I believe these are firefly squid. The bioluminescence is very inaccurate in Sing, but it’s probably exaggerated for dramatic effect and it’s totally fair because the scenes they’re in look amazing. In real life, only the spots on the squid light up and they are only blue, I don’t believe they can change the colour.

Something worth pointing out is that the anatomy of the squid in Sing is completely wrong. And I mean royally messed up. Squid have a mouth that is more like a beak, no lips, certainly no teeth, and it’s located in the middle of the tentacles. The eyes are also further down the body, basically on the tentacles too. What Illumination has done is use the mantle as the squid’s face, when that’s actually their body. It’s the equivalent of putting Buster’s face on his torso. Soooooo something happened to the Sing squid to completely rearrange their bodies and essentially swap the locations of their head and body. Wild.

Shrimp

This is fairly accurate because some crustaceans can survive on regular air for a short time and don’t need to be constantly submerged. Like the squid, these guys have been given a more mammalian body type and can even wear clothes. I don’t know the specific species of shrimp because my God, they all looked the same to me. There’s also this concept art crab who is just chilling about on land. He’d either be dead in a few hours or Sing crabs can now live on land. But I won’t explore it much as it’s not something that’s actually appeared in the films so it’s not canon.

Whale

He doesn’t appear very much, but he’s there. We don’t see enough of him to determine his species but he wears a neat hat. I have nothing else to say about him. Why is Buster in the sky

Fish

Again, super brief appearance and oh my God this screenshot was so hard to get?! I had to load up the film and grab it myself because no one cares about these fish at all. It’s too blurry to tell what species they are, and again, not much to say on them.

Walrus

I have beef with this walrus because his design interrupted the old, more realistic style of Sing. He really cemented the feeling to me that Sing 2 is no longer using the “rules” set by Sing 1. I remember first seeing him and thinking how odd and out of place he looked. While I thought he was a funny character, his design just bothered me so much, something about him felt so off. The sheer audacity of this man to walk on two feet and basically look like a big ape. Generally, Sing was quite realistic with its body types. Ok except the squids. Although technically four legged, walruses and seals have flippers and such a unique way of moving that I really kinda expected Sing to stick to this, or at least make them more hunched over or do something to make them a bit more real, instead of the weird “walrus head on gorilla body” design we got.

To start with, walruses are insanely heavy and huge. A male gets up to 12ft long. To put it into perspective, a walrus standing up would be roughly the same height as an elephant. Mason really should be as tall as Meena but he’s like, 2 Busters.

Real life walruses could never stand on their rear flippers because of their sheer size, and because flippers are not legs. They’re too large and heavy for their adapted limbs to support. That’s why they do that weird flopping about thing that walruses and seals do. So it’s not a case of just making them stand on two legs like every other animal. However now that I’ve looked at him a bit more, Mason is a lot smaller than he “should” be, which makes me think maybe Sing walruses evolved quite differently. They’re much smaller, lighter, and thus able to stand. Maybe also their rear flippers never reached the stage of being super short and small, and are some sort of weird leg/flipper middle stage rather than just being flippers.

Ok Mason, you’re not as bad as I thought you were. But I still don’t like your design.

Also according to the Wiki there’s seals in some advert somewhere but I can’t find it. I’d love to see if they are designed the same as Mason so please if anyone can find it, let me know!

Here’s the canon “rules” I can gather for aquatic animals:

🐳 Honestly there aren’t any

🐳 ok ok, they generally only wear accessories rather than proper clothes but some do also wear full outfits (shrimp)

🐳 They still need water to survive and it hints that there’s an aquatic biome for them to live and work in, with regular cities having waterways as a method of transportation for them. I like this idea and hope it’s explored more

🐳 Bioluminescence can do whatever you want it to do as long as it looks nice, but it’s still limited to animals who have it in real life (which is basically just some fish and invertebrates)

🐳 Some, like the whales and fish, are essentially just the same as real life ones. Others, like squid and shrimp, are more mammalian now. Somewhere, evolution went wild and completely changed the body design of squid completely, reversing their heads and torsos

🐳 Walruses are smaller than they are in real life, and now able to support their bodies on two… flippers? They are much, much more humanoid now and are incredibly different to their real life counterparts

My main take away from this is that mammalian body types have become the norm in the Sing universe. Take (almost) any real animal, make it sort of humanoid, and it’ll belong in Sing. I reckon it’s some kind of convergent evolution thing where animals end up looking similar.

#this one is LONG #if you made it to the end I’m proud of you #note: I do not really hate Mason I just like hyperbole humour #and he’s just further evidence that Sing animals can do whatever the heck you want them to #sing #sing 2016 #sing 2021 #Buster moon #sing 2 #sing movie #sing buster #sing Mason #sing headcanons #sing ash #sing johnny #sing mike #sing meena #sing meme #clay calloway

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legacyshenanigans · 4 months

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You know what, fuck it, I'm gonna tell y'all another story, while I'm reminiscing to myself about past shit. To be honest, this one really is wild as fuck, it's probably one of the most scary and downright STUPID things I have EVER fucking done. And looking back, I can't help but CRINGE at myself for being such a fucking idiot.. So strap it for this one. 😅 Its like..NOT even funny, but I can't help but use laughing emojis because thats just how I fuckin deal with things lmao. It's another "Met someone online" story.

I'd again, being 18 and stupid, I met a guy online, exchanged numbers, we spoke on the phone a few times, I thought he was hot from the pics i'd seen, I was down to fuck, so was he, so he asked me to go to his house.

First red flag was the fact that HE could drive and I couldn't at the time, yet he didn't want to come and pick me up, I had to get to his place myself, So I did. I had to take like 2 different buses and then a taxi to his place, because he lived in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.

So I pull up to this gaff, walk to the door, knock, some man answers and I ask if *dude I'd been talking to* was there, and he tells me that it's him. I'd been catfished, dude didn't look ANYTHING like the photo's I'd seen of "him" but it was definitely him because i knew his voice. He very confidently invited me inside, and I WENT INSIDE..

His house was literally a wreck too, it looked OK from the outside, but inside was awful, there was literally walls missing and stuff, and it was just a complete mess, kinda like he was in the process of having work done on his house, but the house was also just minging and gross, and it smelt weird as fuck, and just from looking around it wasn't just one room, this dudes whole ass house was like this.

Anyway...I don't know WHAT THE FUCK I was thinking at the time but he starts kissing me and I GO WITH IT. I assumed he was going to take me upstairs to his bedroom, but he didn't he lead me into a garage area where there was a dirty old mattress on the floor, and we proceeded to have sex on it.

Now, you're gonna be like "Girl wtf?!" But the sex itself was pretty decent lmfao. The man knew what he was doing. HOWEVER the situation as a WHOLE was all kinds of fuckin weird and messed up 😅

Anyway...After we fuck, we kinda just like, sit there, on the dirty ass mattress for a while, talking, and then the realisation hit me and I remember thinking "Woah, this is weird, what the FUCK am I doing? I need to get the fuck out of here" So I got up and got dressed and politely told him I needed to go, I remember he just kinda nodded and was like "Ok cool" and I just left, I was in the middle of nowhere but I didn't wanna call another taxi, and have to wait around at his house for it, so I wandered down some dirty road for a while until I got somewhere I could explain to the taxi place where I was. Went back to the bus station, took another 2 buses and went home..

Took a screenshot of his dating profile.

Blocked him, blocked his number, sent the dating app an email saying that his profile was fake, and that was it.

So yeah.

Again..Wild...Wild and FUCKING stupid of me 😅

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hatsunevitu · 11 months

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man i LOVE kenman brotp (that goes along with kyman otp) so here’s an au

ok cw death

i was randomly thinking about an au where cartman got immortality too.

(idk how exactly tho, i think it had something to do with satan or jesus who wanted to teach cartman empathy and sympathy so he can understand how does it feel to live a life of less fortunate who suffer every day or smth like that)

so he got immortal and that’d be the funniest thing on earth because he definitely thought about it as a blessing, not a curse. because now he can do stupid things and not worry about it because he’ll just get back to life. and it’d save him a lot of time, he’d be like uhhhh going from school is sooooo long i guess i’ll just kill myself to respawn at home.

and that kinda helps kenny because for the first time he starts seeing his immortality as something remooootely positive?

and kenman are a partners in crimes brotp in this au because you can’t tell me cartman wouldn’t use their powers to rob banks and punish those he dislikes. and kenny just has to keep looking after cartman so he doesn’t kill himself too often.

(btw cartman TOTALLY would get killed in front of the guys on purpose once and recorded it on a video because he wanted to know their reaction and then he saw kyle literally almost CRYING and it made him feel kind of guilty… but he expected everyone to forget his death, like they forgot kenny’s, and so did happen, with one minor exception – kyle remembered… heheheh i’ll definitely write something about kyman in this au later)

anyway cartman convinces kenny that they can make BIIIG money if they use their superpower to rob a bank. kenny didn’t want to tempt the fate at first, but then cartman told him how he could save his family with the money and kenny finally agreed.

they’d be like:

kenny: (Now we divide the money we stole in half, equally, right?)

cartman: Actually, I think I deserve 60%, Kenny.

kenny: (What?! How come?)

cartman: I died twice during the mission!

kenny: (THAT’S BECAUSE YOU SHOT YOURSELF FOR FUN AND I HAD TO WASTE TWO HOURS TO WAIT FOR YOUR RETURN.)

cartman: I suffered more!

kenny: (Give me the money, asshole! We had a deal!)

cartman: Ugh, fine, fine. Take it, Poor Kid. Buy your sister a fucking doll, for all I care☹️

kenny would waste more time on calming cartman down than on actually doing crimes on the missions come on, ‘cause mf risks his life constantly due to his immortality.

he would come to a bank employee and start insulting and teasing him, and kenny would have to pull cartman away until this stupid ass got shot again.

cartman to the security guard: Ha! Try and stab me! Stab me, you pussy!!!

kenny, standing behind him with a threatening look: Do not.

AND ALSO KYMAN IN THIS AU because kyle does not remember kenny’s deaths but he DOES remember cartman’s so drama drama drama

and if cartman was immortal and kyle found out about it he’d get like super overprotective, because he doesn’t want to lose cartman forever just because this stupid asshole doesn’t take anything seriously and thinks that dying is fun.

so yep it’s basically brotp!kenman and kyman crime au and it’s been rotting my brain for like hours and now i want to write a fucking slowburn fanfic for 100k words.

#south park #sp #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #kyman #sp kyman #kyman au #sp kyle #sp kenny #sp cartman #sp kenman #kenman

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maledistributionsystem · 2 months

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Heyy i have a question for you bro. First of all i love your posts, it's so encouraging and makes me feel genuely better abt myself. My question is how do i make up for a boyhood i never had? I'm 18 and transitioning isn't available to me, my country is extremely homophobic and id simply need someone to tell me my chest doesn't make me a girl etc but i don't know any queer folks irl and it feels like im missing out

Thank you for contacting the Male Distribution System Bark Line. Remember: Mens bodies come in many shapes, sizes, colors, and heights. Being unconventional does not detract from your validity. Your message is in the queue...

hey man whats good!

This is something I've been doing/thinking about for years, and honestly I'm not sure how applicable my advice is, but i'll still try :^)

I grew up real sheltered and closed away from the world, there's a lot that I never got the chance to experience or be taught that I've had to make up for. I'll ask ya, What weren't you allowed to do due to your socialization/upbringing? for me the answers are: Tackle football, watching star wars, playing with "boy toys" from fast food meals, walking around shirtless, wearing "simple" clothes, stuff like that.

Dont be afraid to derive gender euphoria from shit thats uselessly gendered. I still use Old Spice deoderant because it was Boy Deoderant and i really liked the way it smelled when i was 17 lol. Buy "mens" body wash, use "mens" razors, stuff like that! (In america all these things are less than 10$ so im very sorry if thats bad advice for you)

My answer for experiencing boyhood is: Let yourself be free in all the ways you wish you could have at that age. Collect monster trucks, build lego sets, watch wrestling or mma or boxing or [insert overwhelmingly male-dominated physical sport here], engage with hobbies that are male-dominated and feel good about talking to other men online who participate too.

honestly on that note, make a social media account divorced from any of your other ones with no indicators whatsoever that you're trans, just say you're a man (if you specify at all) and interact with dudes anonymously, kinda like you did me here. It's such a quiet and hidden thing to do, but when i was in highschool (14-17 years old for me) it was one of the most validating things i did for myself. I was just one of the guys, because i literally am.

But also, that boy needs to cry. I'm serious, let him scream and be angry and punch things, let him be sad and ask "why couldnt i have this before?". That little boy inside you could use the aknowledgement.

Also hey, i know you dont got no IRL queer folks to say it to you, so i will: having a chest dont make you any less of a man. Wearing a binder hurts my back, badly. So i stopped wearing them and havent worn a binder in a few years now. I still correct people to tell them im a dude. I just let them hang about freely. I'm just a dude with a chest, and i make people deal with seeing that. Even if you can't go around correcting people and shit, i want you to know it in your heart. Dudes have chests sometimes. Not even just trans dudes! Cis dudes get gynecomastia at varying (but usually a bit older) ages and have to get surgery too. Hell, even those gymrats addicted to roids get tit fat that need to be removed. They're all still men, and so are you. I dont care what it looks like, you're still a man.

I'm sorry if this wasn't quite what you was looking for, but i hope you know you're a brother to us all, and like any brother would, i hope you get what you're looking for out of your life. You deserve it.

Be easy, now ☆

#Bark Line #had to redo my tags on this one bc i forgot using quotations fucks them up. gods i hate tumblr sometimes #anyways #it might look stupid or childish to other people to see me sitting here like #'play into gender roles to make yourself feel better'#but im actually serious it feels so good and the unnecessary gendering of random shit isnt going away #might as well use it to make yourself feel better lol

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gemini-forest · 4 months

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I've had a few folks asking me if Eliot is autistic coded.

The evidence claimed are the following:

1: His flat affect/monotone 2: Western Fashion/lifestyle being a hyperfixation 3: Nonverbal at times 4: Knows sign language 5: Low empathy 6: Touch avoidant

Hate to inform y'all but he's not autistic coded internally. You can headcanon though! I won't stop you guys with the hc. I'll tackle each point to explain:

1: Flat affect/monotone

A common trait with those with depression is a flat affect. Sometimes we just talk with that due to the chemicals in our brain. That's just how he talks

2: Western Fashion/Lifestyle

The wild west stuff came to be a security blanket in a sense. Could it be seen as a clutch? Probably. Is it effecting him negatively? Nope. It's a norm Eliot likes to have and willing to cling to to his deathbed.

3: Nonverbal

Everyone has days where they go nonverbal. A common neurodivergent thing. In Eliot's case it's kinda a habit? He's not much of a talker but him being nonverbal under stress is another thing those with PTSD or C-PTSD can have.(I have C-PTSD and I do that). My man just has undiagnosed ptsd.

4: Knowing Sign Language

I honestly think this is a weird thing to think he's autistic for. Not in a bad way! I'm autistic myself and would like to know sign language. But for Eliot he knows sign because he didn't know how to talk. Like at all. He learned how to talk through the tv. He still signs to people on the regular and makes sure he's up to date because he uses it not only with Big Mama's staff who are deaf or mute, but for his bounties for those who are mute, deaf or are so stressed they can't talk and signing is easier.

5: Low empathy

Oh boy here we go. Eliot's low empathy comes from his depression and PTSD. He's so numb to what he has to do on the regular and the type of folks he deals with you'd think he'd be hyper sensitive. NOPE. He lacks empathy for most people. Unless he actually gives a shit about someone like, Boss, Tammie, the boys(When he befriends them) his sister Lilith and even Big Mama. He's okay with the staff at the hotel. But other than that he's genuinely apathetic and doesn't care. He's the type to live by the motto "Stay out of my business and I'll stay out of yours" type outside of work.

6: Touch avoidant

He just doesn't like touch that lasts a long time. Like hugs, shoulder pats, head pats, etc. He may not entirely remember but his body does remember getting hit a lot as a toddler. He's gotten better since he started as a bounty. He's very adaptable(which isn't entirely a good thing with those with PTSD depending on the situation)

TLDR:

Eliot isn't autistic, his behavior and such is a trauma response. But if you wanna hc him with autism you're more than welcome to.

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greenokapi · 4 months

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So… what do y’all do when you wanna do a bajillion things but you can’t settle on which thing to do so you just kind of end up doing nothing?

… lissen I’m still only recently diagnosed with adhd so I still don’t know how to work with it… I wanna draw so many things, wanna make merch, comics, I wanna write a fuckton of silly cringe fanfics… I wanna make videos? Like maybe youtube videos rambling abt stuff while drawing but then I don’t know if anyone would even be interested in that, and besides I haven’t done video editing in…. Probably close to 20years? What program should I use? Anyone got any tips on that?

I also wanna make stuff, lil bead things like these guys I made a while ago for example

I also wanna try doll customization cause it’s kinda only been the last decade or so where I’ve allowed myself to like dolls… reasons for that being … uh… gender stuff… it’s like only now in my life, around 30 have I finally gotten somewhat close to getting a grasp on my gender and sexuality, and I never even really realized before that this was something I had a problem with? Which probably makes no sense tbh…

I also wanna do sculpting and even paint, after art school teachers made me feel like I should never paint again bcs idk man I wasn’t up to their standards 🤷

And… I wanna do all this stuff but not only does brain say ‘adhd my guy’ but there’s also my increasing health issues that… I mean I’ve always had them but I guess getting older makes it harder and harder to constantly deal with them… and that’s another thing I never really realized was so bad until back when I was in Japan in 2015-2016 as an exchange student and would have to go to the hospital increasingly often bcs of pain nobody could diagnose… aand then I was shamed for it bcs having to go to the hospital in the middle of the night sometimes was a huge hassle to the dorm staff, idk I was a problem…

Since then I’ve had two operations and will probably need to have more in the future. Also, amusingly, when I finally got diagnosed I was looking at the list of symptoms, all of which I could relate to in at least some way, but the ones that stood out, for some reason, were ‘constant exhaustion’ and then below it was ‘insomnia’ and… maybe I’m not actually lazy when I’m tired all the time? But y’know, I don’t really wanna use a chronic condition as an excuse to just do nothing, plenty of ppl have chronic problems but still do stuff with their life… but when I think like that I also remember this isn’t a ‘pain competition’ or something like that and different people just have different capabilities to deal with chronic pain and such… idk, I honestly think I’m still trying to come to terms with the realization that being exhausted and in pain all the time probably counts as some kind of disability….. but I don’t feel like I’m allowed to say I’m disabled bcs I do also have good days, you know? I should probably try harder to just DO things?

Ahem, it’s like 9AM and I haven’t been able to sleep and stuff hurts… I just wanna go do something productive but instead I’m whining on here which I probably shouldn’t do bcs this is the internet and strangers can see what you post and maybe use it against you but also sometimes you just really wanna rant into the void… or maybe more like semi-void cause idk, maybe someone reads this and can relate or give advice or just talk or something? Buuut you suck at talking… then later you feel embarrassed about your tired rambles and probably end up deleting them and just bring them up in therapy later like you should…

Anyway, until this embarrassment pops up I’m probably gonna try to find some painkillers and go draw or something -3-

#Rambles #Negative #I guess #sorry about that jgchhf

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