#I hate still feeling this way as an adult and not seeing them for several years now
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I’m going to vent. Sit tight for an artist’s reflection on the acotar fandom!
I was going to use tumblr to strictly post art (at least on my end) and engage with the wonderful ppl here as well. Except what I’ve been seeing as of late is a lot of abuse (across platforms) and it’s very jarring. As an artist, I understand to make the most of your experience in a toxic fandom is to say nothing and do nothing that bothers those a bit **too** passionate about their opinions. I get it, I’m used to being content fodder from other fandoms. So I am not new to this.
But this fandom is *so* toxic that I immediately understood why artists choose to stay neutral or entirely avoid making art for this fandom at all. I have several art friends interested in the books but won’t touch the fandom with a ten foot pole from what they’ve seen. What I’ve personally witnessed the past few months is genuinely disgusting. The only reason I’m here after being FLAMED on twitter is because 1) I began posting BECAUSE people were so kind and encouraging and I don’t want to leave them and the possibility of befriending others 2) I was fully prepared to be dragged for the smallest offense.
I didn’t want to believe people would be downright atrocious to me for Elain, being starborn, holding the sword that reflects her (as I’ve stated when I paralleled quotes) but that’s what they were: awful. And what I got in turn was: why are you victimizing yourself this is what other artists deal with! Ok?? And!? Why is it appropriate AT ALL. Why is it fine for you to do that? I don’t care what anyone ships, why do you feel entitled to comment nastiness under someone’s art. To directly be in their mentions mocking the concept and the way it looks or how you hate the character. It brings me and others joy.. why are you being ruthless? For a fictional character??
It’s too much. And you know, this is my first fandom experience where the shipping is so extreme. I would’ve loved multi shipping as I’ve done it in other fandoms, I really don’t care for what sort of crack ships people make up (though I have my limitations, I think everyone does. “Notp”.) But you know what I DON’T DO as an adult? Ridicule artists for their work. They are providing content FOR FREE. And if they aren’t, they are gifting you with their expertise and talent. You are scaring people away.
I was afraid of joining and just stayed on the sidelines for months just enjoying arts in peace. I only gave in because I showed some friends some of my sketches and they ADORED it. And pleaded that I post. So I did, and I found many others really wanted me to continue posting. So I do. Were it not for the toxicity, I would’ve drawn all types of ships because I’m genuinely someone that does not care about the ship and if it’s canon or endgame or not, if I like the characters and the vibe- cool. Draw it. That’s the beauty of fanart.
But people are acting diabolically UNHINGED over it. And treating artists like they’re players and they’re revoking sponsorships. Fandom should not be a competition. That is exhaustive and tiring. I shouldn’t have to be fearful of the engagements on my posts. I don’t even have 500 followers yet on ANY of my platforms. And still, I am treated like filth. I need people to reflect on their behavior, recognize if they don’t like something ignore it or block it or what have you and be at peace. Stop giving into negativity and using artists as some pawn- they have feelings TOO! And you really turn them off to a character or a ship or a fandom in general with the way you act.
I have my comments off where I can keep them off because I simply don’t want 1) people arguing in my comments and 2) comments that are generally unhelpful or just shaming me for what I post. But twitter I really can’t help what happens. And tumblr too there’s some limits I can take and a filtering system I can take advantage of but even here people lack etiquette. I don’t understand where people get off acting like mean girls over things people made.
This is the most extreme, unhealthy fandom I have ever been in and I’m really not all shocked when I hear an artist quit and doesn’t want to partake. This is not a competition of who has it worse. Stop bullying artists because they don’t make content that pleases you. Just drop it. I can’t believe I am being called TOXIC for defending myself and my art. And I know who these people are, I know exactly the type of content they themselves post and it’s COMEDY to be telling ME I’m toxic for standing up for myself.
Most artists leave or go silent. That’s what you want, right? Or to antagonize them to the point they really lose patience with you. This is me losing patience: a call to being better. Be the change you seek. It’s funny I have people going at me and in their bio it says “ spread kindness not hate” Pardon??
Seriously, I would’ve liked to explore any theory and a variety of arts despite my preferences but the way people act with what I DO put out, I’m just sour. I don’t even want to expand beyond the two characters I really like because I have a headache already with the “you don’t really care about-“ takes that I’ve seen other artists get when they expand what they draw in this fandom.
It shouldn’t offend you that an artist has a preference and wants to share the things that they found intriguing or makes them happy. And if it does, cry about it in private at minimum. Stop dumping your grief onto the artists. That’s all. Maybe then you will see a resurgence of artists that do content for free (and frequently) or a return of artists who left.
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Shen Jiu is an Abusive Mother
Yeah this is my Mother's Day post <3 This is just for funsies, and I by no mean think its the best lens through which to see SJ and LBH's relationship— its just a comparison I find interesting, and I was feeling festive 🥰.
To start, none of this is to say that SJ is a feminine character. I don't believe that, and I think that he's often misinterpreted as more feminine by western fans due to differences in gender norms/gender roles (which is a Whole Other Coversation). Maternal/mommy are being used loosely here.
Secondly, I don't think we'd even be looking at SJ through a maternal framework if the man who took over his body wasn't Shen "I would never abort you" Yuan. SJ is mostly pulled into this because he exist in juxtaposition to Mr. Freud's Wet Dream (go read tshirt's SVSSS Freud zine btw, several points here are inspired by it).
The fact remains, though, that even without Wifebeam Supreme playing the part, there is something distinctly parental about the role of Shizun. Shizuns cannot be compared to teachers or tutors, who the child either go to visit durning the day, or who come to the child's home when it's time for lessons. Even with the respect due to them, a teacher remains distinct from a child's home and family. They do not overly incorporate themselves into these things that define a child's life.
Shizuns are a little different. There is, ofc, lots of variation within the xianxia and wuxia genres, but in most of the stories I've encountered— and more importantly for our purposes, in SVSSS itself— unless the child’s family home is their sect, when a child is accepted as a disciple, they're expected to join their shizun/shifu either in the master's home/sect, or in free-roaming travel. In both cases, the shizun's home becomes the disciple's home, and their shizun becomes the main adult responsible for the child. The master will take over in guiding the child's development from here, shaping them by their hand. Is that not a parent? I think some such imprinting is inevitable, even among more well-adjusted disciples. Do you know who's not well-adjusted?
Luo Binghe enters the sect soon after the death of his mother. There is a mommy shaped hole in his heart. Though absolutely nothing could replace her, he's a sad, lost, and angry child, coming to a mountain of immortal masters, desperately hoping for one of them to take him as their own. As much as he's motivated by fulfilling his mother's wishes, isn't he also looking for a place to belong in this world, now that the hut that he once called home is ruined by his mother's absence? Doesn't he hope, if only for a short time, that someone else will see fit to care for him? As much as Luo Binghe is already hurt and hardened in many ways, he's still just a child; he's not yet blackened beyond dreaming of someone to love him.
Shen Jiu is very much Not That. Shen Jiu is not a merely a lofty immortal ambivalent to his disciple’s emotional needs. No, Shen Jiu hates Luo Binghe enough to unfairly punish and ostracize him, and even puts him in deadly harm's way twice before just outright trying to kill him (the manual, the demon invasion, the abyss). Going by the framework of SQQ as a parental figure, he's undeniably an abusive one. In what way could this be said to be maternal, though? In my eyes, it comes down to motive.
Shen Jiu has a lot of motivations for abusing Binghe, mostly coming down to the fact that's he's more trauma response than man at this point, but one of these is more explicitly outlined in the text than the others:
Shen Qingqiu saw three things on the original flavor’s face: envy, envy, and more envy.
Envy that Luo Binghe had a mother who was “the kindest in all the world to him,” envy of Luo Binghe’s talent, envy that Luo Binghe would enter Cang Qiong Mountain Sect at the best age for cultivating. He was indeed the kind of person to brim with envy and resentment toward a young child.
Envy and jealously, at least in the western canon, are usually associated with female characters (and though it’s outside the scope of this post to dissect, let it not go unremarked that this trope is deeply misogynistic in origin). They are almost always envious of a younger, more beautiful, and/or more skillful woman, who are posed at the moral superior to the jealous woman. That's right, Shen Jiu is an evil stepmother! He tolerates having no superior or equal on his peak, needing his power and superiority to go unquestioned. Outside of his abuse of Binghe, and the references early in the novel to SJ chasing away talented disciples, I think this is also shown by how the male disciple SJ tolerates the most is Ming Fan, who has only middling talent and is obsequious before his shifu, never challenging SJ in any way, and never threatening to surpass him.
But of course, SJ’s relationship to Binghe is the most obvious example. Shen Jiu sees himself in Luo Binghe (derogatory). He sees Luo Binghe as a symbol of everything he never had. Luo Binghe is a creature like himself that, for no rhythm or reason, was given so much more than SJ. It is also notable that, at least as far as Shen Qingqiu, as an outside observer, can tell, the thing which first sparked SJ's ire was the mention of LBH's mother. Never mind that LBH says in the same breath that she's dead; the fact that when she lived, she was a kind and loving mother to LBH is enough for SJ to envy him, and as he finds more to envy, it comes justification to hate the boy, and to punish him for daring to have someone who died loving him.
(Side note: after consulting the qijiu server about the implications of SJ’s reaction, my reading is that SJ never knew his mother. The only alternative is that she was a bad mother, but I don't think he would find such unilateral comfort in women if that was the case. It's made me wonder if SJ ever believed that having a mother, a protector, would have spared him his fate. But alas, this post is not about SJ's mommy issues. Another day!)
Even outside the realm of cartoonish villains, I think this particular brand of envy is, in some ways, associate with motherhood. There's a natural tendency in parents to see themselves in their children, but as mothers are almost always the ones more involved in raising children and more expected to foster emotional connections with their children, I think this is both more common and more encouraged in mothers than fathers. Mothers are expected to be in charge of and over-involved in most aspects of a child's life, and in turn their lives are expected to revolve around their children, blurring the boarder between the self and the child. The child becomes symbolic of the mother's past self and what she can no longer be. The expectations on the child are the expectations of the mother's idealized self, and whether the child meets them or not, the mother will resent them for it, for daring to fail when they are her, or daring to succeed when they are not.
That's not to say SJ ever had such deep identification with LBH— he certainly never cared for LBH, and if anything, he's more like a mother who resents her child being born (as though he did not pick this boy out of the dirt himself)— but the hatred for a child under his care being like him but supposedly better off feels evocative of this characteristically maternal form of envy.
And finally, there is the fruit of SJ's actions, and the most explicitly/textually maternal aspect of SJ's abuse: it created Luo Bingge.
“Has Shidi ever considered that, if you hadn’t treated Luo Binghe like that in the beginning, everything that unfolded today never would have happened?”
He had singlehandedly created the Luo Binghe of today,
Luo Bingge, the all-powerful demon, the ruler of the three realms, and Shen Jiu's own personal torturer, would never have existed without SJ's intervention. Luo Bingge is shaped in Shen Jiu's image, and everything Shen Jiu ever did to destroy the boy only twisted him to further fit this mold. Luo Bingge's fate, the shape of his very soul, have been defined by SJ. And what is more maternal than giving someone their life defining trauma?
#svsss#shen jiu#luo binghe#luo bingge#original luo binghe#fish meta#lets all pretend I got this done on time#this was actually gonna be longer but I cannot get my remaining points to Word Correctly and I think this is pretty tidy as is
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💭
#I hate constantly being scared and afraid of the people who used to bully me on middle/high school#I hate still feeling this way as an adult and not seeing them for several years now#this also goes for so called ‘friends’ who treated me like shit and gaslit me and tried to make me seem like the bad guy#since I reactivated and been using TikTok for the past like week or so#it’s been finding former ‘friends’ and recommending them to me and it’s been lowkey triggering me tbh#like today it suggested that one guy I knew in middle school and reconnected freshman yr of college but made me REALLY uncomfortable#and also this one girl from high school was was a cunt/bragged about being rich & ‘daddy’s girl’/etc etc#then I got a notification that she looked at my page/ it freaked me out#I blocked the guy/that girl and blocked another girl that used to be my ‘best friend’ in middle/high school#i also put my account on private for now and turned off setting for suggesting contacts and stuff like that#i honestly should find and block people I went to school with and shitty friends if they pop on again on TikTok#… I think when my parents leave next weekend/ I should talk with my two best friends about a lot of things that happened recently#and be honest about how I’ve been feeling/well not completely honest cuz I don’t want to worry them but yea…#I hate that I honestly can’t access or afford help for my mental health#or hell even just fucking talk to someone about everything without a session costing a fucking arm and a leg#jazz uses curse! 💜
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I think I was a fucked up twelve year old I'm gonna be real
#i think it's weird when people see people who are happy and get mad at them#i'm just a guy wtf was I doing to make people hate me#“it's not your fault!!!” duhhhh#but it still bugs me#fucked up my relationship with adults SEVERELY!!!!#it was in a very unique way where i try to replicate all my previous adult relationships with new adults#so if we're friends and you're an adult I'm doing a fucked up ptsd thing#and it's against my will#which is very cruel and bad#once someone sent me death threats because of one of my coping mechanisms#(not sharing it cause the ptsd)#but yeah that was weird as hell#and now I can never be normal about that coping mechanism again!!!!#my boyfriend doesn't even know that I still do it#because it bothers me so much#i'm so scared people will do what they did to me again#and i'm not a scared person#it was just a really traumatic experience and i feel like no one understands because it's so outlandishly stupid
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A few things about Astarion that I need people to think about outside of him simply being flirty and attractive (since people keep reducing him to his sex scenes):
His route has a heavy focus on emotional intimacy and consent. You can sleep with him sure, but if in-between acts 2 and 3 you learn nothing about him and pressure him into having sex with you then you're not understanding his character and he'll only see you as someone who wants his body.
Ascended astarion is his bad/dark ending. I know people love it when he's powerful and ascended/durge is a relationship people love and I'm not here to say that's wrong or that you're a terrible person for doing it. But stop arguing that it's his happy ending, or that he's better for it when he literally loses himself and in a nonascended version he'll say he could feel himself changing in ways he didn't like. He becomes another cazador. He only truly expresses himself and feels release if he kills Cazador and doesn't ascend.
Unless you do the drow twin scene prior to beating Cazador you're not forcing him into anything. He gives approval for going through with it. Do I think he regrets it after because he realizes he was biting off too much too early? Yes. But it's literally him learning his boundaries and understanding what he is and isn't comfortable with. He's only just starting to be able to fully choose what he wants, sometimes you make mistakes. It's part of the process.
Astarion died young before he fully matured as an elf, but he wasn't a child. He was a magistrate in the city, he had a fully functioning brain. But just because he was an adult by human standards when he died doesn't make it any less heartbreaking. People dying in their 30s is still tragically young. And even more so for an elf.
(This one doesn't come up as often) he doesn't hate Gale, he is very much flirting with and attracted to Gale at in act 1 if you bring them around. In fact Shadowheart and Wyll are the only ones he has dislike for at any point and as the story goes he warms up to everyone. All the companions care for each other and it's one of the best found families in video games.
There are several companions I feel large portions of the fandom just misunderstand/don't fully read into and it's tiring because the devs made each one so layered and interesting. I just feel like since Astarion is essentially the face of the game now, he's the one who constantly gets boiled down to his most surface level qualities with little regard for his story as a whole.
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Platonic!Yan batfam with young adult reader. Part 3
[Part 2]
Note: Reader is 18-22 years old. Gn reader
Content warning: being treated like a child, being looked down on, stalking, obsessions, soft yandere but still a yandere, reader has memory issues and it's ambiguous as to why, drugging, mentioned abduction, delusional batfam, batfam as a whole basically view you as a child younger then Damien despite you being older, cursing, violence by reader!
Focus on Jason
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You never liked working the night shift, the walk home was always creepy. A constant impending doom on your shoulder. Sure lately you had the Bats watching you, but tonight they seemed to be missing. You debated on calling a taxi yet you knew at night alone a taxi could be more dangerous then walking. At least when you walk if need be you can try and run.
You passed by a store with TVs in the windows, the news on several of the screens warning of an escape at Arkham. No wonder the bats were missing and the street was empty. You pulled out and gripped the taser your friend had given you tightly in your hand. It was a high voltage one, strong enough to drop a large man, maybe even killer croc the issue was you had to be close by. Still the protection or the hint of it soothed some of your nerves as you sprinted home.
Coming up to your apartment door and without incident had you nearly crying in relief. You began to unlock your door quickly when you felt a hand on your shoulder. It was definitely the paranoia from the news and the late night that made you whip around and jab the taser into whoever it was.
They dropped like a sack of wet flour to your feet unconscious, and you realized who you just tazed. "Oh God...oh God! I just tazed the Redhood, oh fuck oh fuck..." So much for getting home without incident.
Jason came to a faded tingling in his limbs and... his mask on his face? He sat up ready to go on the attack until he saw you. Then he remembered you had tazed him. His sweet little sibling had *tazed* him. He didn't know if he should be proud or worried you had a taser so strong.
You were asleep on the old recliner while he had been laid on the sofa. He recognized some aches, you must have dragged him in. He was impressed you managed to move him on your own. But he'd have to talk to you about not bringing strays into the house. This time it was him but what if it hadn't been him?
Jason groaned because he knew the family would see this whole incident. If not from his mask footage, then from the many cameras Replacement had placed around the apartment and outside it. "Fuck..." He was never going to hear the end of it.
At the sound of a foreign voice you jolted awake and looked at him scared. "Please don't be mad?" Your voice was small, and if he hadn't been paying attention to you he would have missed it.
"Normally folks start with a sorry. But I'll let it slide this time." He was doing his best not to show his softness to you. He wanted to scoup you up and praise you for defending yourself. But another part of him *hated* the fact you had had to do it at all.
"I'm sorry! I... I saw the news about the Arkham break out on the way home and when someone...you touched me I panicked."
He couldn't tell if you were feeling guilty for hurting him or scared he'd hurt you in return. "You got good reaction time kid. What the fuck were you doing out though?" Most employers had safe rooms or an office in the back that employees could hide in during a break out. Usually it was just an at night situation since the day time was usually safe to travel.
"I had to get home. I didn't know about the break out until halfway home, and I was already closer to home than work. It was smarter for me to run home than double back." It was a logical choice on your end, but he still didn't like it.
"Normally I'd be pissed at this," No he wouldn't have not with them his baby sibling. "But given the situation and the fact you brought me inside and left my helmet on I'll let it slide."
He knew he didn't have the usual clean record the bat brood had. Publicly, he was an anti-hero and crime lord. Sure, he hadn't killed anyone recently, but the civilians were always wary because they knew it was on the table for him. It wasn't. He was *trying* to be better, but most didn't see it that way.
"Really?" The hopeful and pathetic look on your face made him chuckle. An action that he knew with the voice modulator was intimidating.
"Really. I'm not even going to tell you to be more careful next time. You need reactions like that in Gotham." They didn't need them, not much longer. The family would keep them safe. He wouldn't fail them like the family had him. In fact... "But, since I *am* the injured party. You're going to let me stay here tonight."
"What? Shouldn't you be out fighting?" You almost seemed desperate to get him out. That was okay he knew you were just scared and shaken from tonight's events.
"That taser did a bit more damage than I expected. I go out now, I would be a liability." That was a lie not that he'd ever let you find that out. "Besides wouldn't it be better to have someone here with you?" He knew you were scared, more scared of the rogues than him.
"But... fine! You get the sofa tonight." You tried so hard to keep some semblance of control in this, that was cute.
"You got it, Sparky." He laughed as you bristled at the nickname. He'd keep you safe, and even if Bruce wanted to, Jason would be free from any scolding. After all, he had been tasked with playing gaurd tonight, from a distance... but this was far more effective. He wouldn't let you die, not like he had, Jason would burn Gotham before he let that happen.
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Roderick Usher is such a good bait and switch of a villain! You spend most of the show watching his ‘downfall’ and corruption, knowing that he’s going to become the monster Dupin knows him as. But you still want to believe he can’t be all that bad, and he somehow knows this and plays right into it until the very end
Roderick is telling his story and peppers it with all these asides and moments that make the audience feel some sympathy for him. That make us believe he either has good intentions beneath everything else, or originally had them and was corrupted by power.
He implies he truly didn’t know Ligodone was addictive: he tells Dupin ‘you belive the chemist when he you tells you the drug they made isn’t addictive, you trust your company not to abuse the use of that drug’. He reminds Dupin (and by extension the audience) that he ‘didn’t make the damn thing, I just sold it’. And then it cuts to show that the drug company was originally acquired by Roderick’s predecessor as CEO, who took his pitch for a pain free world and ran with it. This makes the audience feel some small sympathy for Roderick: not enough to think he’s a victim in anyway but it worms in there and makes him not as monstrous as he was a moment ago. It implies he is not solely to blame.
The audience see’s (we think) Roderick getting corrupted and swayed to the dark side of corporate greed. Brilliantly they show Roderick in present day acting in ways that seem in character for what we have learnt about him, and then flash back to the 70’s to reveal that those lines or attitudes where originally those of the old CEO who Roderick *hated*. It appears as if pure innocent and trusting Roderick who runs straight at injustice has been corrupted by the old CEO, has become the monster or villain that he once hated. It’s a small tragedy mixed in with a busy narrative but it impacts the audiences view of who Roderick once was. We interpret this as an originally good if naive man corrupted by power and wealth. Coupled with all those scenes in the 70’s of Madeline being more emotionless and pragmatic, pushing Roderick to be more manipulative and strategic, it appears as if he has been ‘forced’ or ‘groomed’ into his role against his original intentions. Part of the scenes we then spent in the 70’s is spent quietly mourning this version of Roderick, as we know it doesn’t survive his ascension.
But there are enough moments to imply that Roderick is still being an unreliable narrator. When Dupin first apologised for faking an informant, saying he feels that his lie had some role in the death of his children, Roderick’s first response is to run with that false impression. The way he responds to Dupin’s apology sounds like he’s gearing up to lay into him about his role in Roderick a children’s death, to double down and agree that Dupin does bear some blame for how they died.
And then one of his dead children appear to him. They make him pause, collect himself, and acknowledge what Roderik knows to be true: Dupin’s lie had no bearing on their death (his deal with Verna is the reason they’re dead) and any impact of that lie on their final fate is solely due to Roderick believing it and then placing a bounty on the supposed informants head. He turned his kids against one another, Dupin’s lie was just the vehicle. Roderik only voices this when he is forced to by his literal ghosts.
There are several moments when it appears his dead children are ‘keeping him honest’. When he’s getting off topic Perry or Leo appear to shock him and remind him to keep telling their stories. When he tries to downplay his part in the creation of Ligodone and argue that the horrors of its addiction are actually due to a street derivative which ‘hasn’t been FDA approved’ Camille’s appears behind him to force him to reconsider and eventually interrupts him so abruptly he trows a glass at her. When he’s lamenting Frederiks death and remembering him as a child not an adult (the last time Roderick was any kind of father to him) Fredrick takes over child/Frederick’s body to remind him of how he died and to get back to the story. It’s almost like he’s saying ‘you don’t get to remember me like this, you don’t get to miss remember and pick and chose: this is how I died and it’s because of you so keep going’. It’s only in hindsight so we realise this was Roderick trying to subconsciously control the narrative and change this confession, to reframe his actions and those deaths. And the kids didn’t let him get away with it.
Even Juno as a narrative device helps to hide Roderik’s rotten centre: she is such a bluntly honest and sincere person, she lends a little credence of honesty to Roderick. We think he must have some small good in him (albeit wrapped up in all the ‘old enough to be Juno’s father, makes the opioid she’s addicted to, doesn’t defend her from family cruelty’ BS of his ‘love’) as she is devoted to and loves him. Plus when we first meet her he states he loves her, he is always shown to be gently affectionate towards her, and even claims she is one of his ‘two favourite ladies’ along with his granddaughter who we know he dotes upon. But then at the very end his twisted horror show of devotion is revealed: anything close to love he holds for Juno is warped by her being a living totem of his product, something he can point to and use to further his cause. Juno is an object to him, one he enjoys complete control over. He has never seen her as a person in her own right, just a doll/puppet to prop up his drug empire, and he can’t separate her or his feelings for her from the drug she is dependant upon.
Added to this, towards the end of the show we discover that this ‘unburdening’ of Roderiks sins, this confession to a litany of crimes, which will give Dupin closure for both his life’s work and answers to Roderick’s betrayal of him in the 70’s… that isn’t even Roderick’s idea! Verna told him to confess. Even at the end Roderick isn’t mending bridges of his own volition.
And then his final revelation: he’s been lying the whole time, maybe his whole life, to everyone. He had always know people would die to ensure his success, that he would have to climb over ‘a mountain of bodies’ to get to the top and it never once made him pause. He wasn’t corrupted, he didn’t get poisoned by the old CEO and his views, he didn’t change to take on more of Madeleine’s views. He just noticed the best way to get work done and adapted.
Dupin had it right from the start: the only good that he ever saw in Roderik was a reflection of Annabelle lee’s. Like the moon has no inherent light of its own, Roderik hid his darkness behind the strength of Annabelle’s goodness until the time came when she couldn’t shine on him anymore. And he was revealed for the empty dead husk he had always been.
And Annabelle even said it herself, when then kids chose Roderick over her. They were starving and he told them to gorge themselves but he could never actually feed them, because he had nothing real to offer. Empty through and through, and just. So. Small.
#the fall of the house of usher#mike flanagan#fuck Roderik usher#spoilers#tfothou#roderick usher#unreliable narrators#character analysis#media analysis
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Hi I want to hear more about könig's dysfunctional family please!
I don't know where this backstory came from but it would explain a lot of things!
CW: Angst, self-hate, moral ambiguity, patricide
König’s dad left before he was even born. The way his mom still describes this man as some amazing hero, the greatest love of her life, she makes it sound like it’s König’s fault that he left. Ergo -> it’s König’s fault that his mom is so unhappy.
That’s why König has this deeply ingrained feeling that he should never have been born and so he tries to make himself as small as possible in the household. This becomes increasingly difficult after the growth spurt, but hey, at least he can make himself less of a burden in other ways…
He never tells his mom about the bullying stuff, about the disturbing websites he found when he was 13. Nor does he share his revenge fantasies that are starting to get out of hand, so much so that his school curator tells him he could go to the army if shooting as a hobby interests him so much. No one ever talks about the elephant in the room, how even a simple, old man at school can see inside König’s soul better than his own mother.
His mom had difficulty taking care of herself, which means König learned to juggle with all kinds of adult things when he was little. Running to the store, doing the laundry, heating up food or preparing it from scratch when mom forgot became this kid’s normal, as did listening to her gushing about this incredible new man she found online. König listened at least 15 times how this time, it’s different: this time, she really could sense how there’s this deep connection unlike ever before. This time, this mysterious savior will make things better for all of them and help them financially – even the sex is great!
König vaguely knows he shouldn’t be learning all these details about his mom’s sex life, especially when he’s already forced to hear just how great the sex is, but after a week of Would you like to come in's, his mother is pacing around and sitting next to the phone and sighing deeply. Eventually, she's crying her heart out on the sofa. Again.
She bawls how all men just want one thing, how König is all she has, he’s such a good kid, such a charming boy who would never abandon a good woman, yada yada, and König tries to comfort her as best as he can. At the age of 17, he’s relieved to get out of his childhood home, the house of many pains. But when he gets headhunted to KorTac, after many many years, and gets his first paycheck... 80 % of it goes straight to his mom.
---
If we’re talking about yandere universe König, well, his curse was that his father was very much there and abusive to both him and his mother.
To König, the day he killed his dad was the day he grew up, and even though it took several years for his mom to talk to him again, even though he regrets maybe one or two of the ~20 stabs he put his old man through… König knows his mom is secretly grateful. He’s her hero; he saved her from that monster.
He will save a lot of people before this sick thing called life is through...
#könig headcanons#könig angst#well that came out freudian#did he try to kill a part of himself in his dad too?
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AITA for not wanting to be in my cousin's life? This will be long, I'm sorry
I (f19, but this started at 15) have a rough relationship with my family, I don't have a better word to describe them as besides just not the best towards me. But the real issue now is that I don't want to be involved in my cousin's (f8, but this started at 5) life. This sounds very silly, I know, but let me explain. My cousin is physical in how she expresses herself towards me (she likes to throw things at me and hit me and bite me, and I can't do anything about it because I get in trouble if I do). I have a severe nut allergy and there have been multiple times she's been caught trying to smear peanut butter on me or in my mouth while I slept. She likes to tell me she wishes I'd just eat the peanut butter so she'd never have to see me again. She just hates me, honestly (I'm not sure why, I've never hated the kid, I'm not mean to her, none of us have been able to figure out why and when asked she just says she hates me because she hates me)
The house we lived in contained just me, her, my mother, and my uncle. She is not abused by either adult, before anyone asks, she's actually quite spoiled due to the fact that they can't discipline her in any way without risking her being taken away. And I don't hate her at all, I'm bitter about how she treats me, but I know she's only a little kid. However, I just don't like being treated that way. I recently moved out and I told my mother that I didn't want to be part of my cousin's life until she stopped treating me that way. (Info: My mother thinks she treats me this way because she's a kid so she can't vent her anger out on the adults and I was the only other kid she could vent it out on.) My mother thinks I'm being cruel and punishing my cousin, she says I'll regret this choice and that my cousin will be all I have one day so I shouldn't do this. I've tried to explain that I'm not doing it to punish my cousin, it's just not good for my mental health and I can't be around this behaviour anymore. Other family members and family friends have agreed with my mother, but my friends think my decision is right. Since moving out and not going through that every day, I've started to feel better about myself, my depression isn't as bad and I don't have as much anxiety when I go to sleep. That is kinda swaying my decision to me thinking I'm right for choosing this for myself, but I still worry my mother might be right and I might be ruining my cousin's mental health by leaving.
I want to add that I know I'm way older than her, and some of you might be wondering why I don't stand up to her, but I could never do anything to stop her. I spent many years in foster care due to issues with my family (my mother, specifically), and I know that even the littlest thing where I live can get your kid taken from you. If I even raised my voice at her to tell her to stop and she told someone, she could be taken away from my family and I can't do that to her, I know the horrors of foster care. I also have spent most of my life being abused and don't know how to protect myself or defend myself in situations like these. Please keep this in mind when/if you call me pathetic or stupid, trust me I know I am.
Please, I know a lot of you may think this is silly or dumb or bait, but I need to know aita for not wanting to be in my cousin's life?
Reasons I think I might be NTA: I think my decision is good for both of us and I believe I should put mental health first in this case as it can be dangerous in the future if I don't. I don't want to stay longer and end up hating her, she's just a kid and doesn't deserve to be hated.
Reasons I think I might be TA: This could be seen as punishing her, and she might hate me more for it. She's already started being meaner to other kids now that she can't vent it out on me and I'm an adult so I can take it better than one of her classmates could. She might think her behaviour drove me away and blame herself.
What are these acronyms?
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You're the Cutest when you're pathetic ~Dru**ed S*x with Co-Dependent Chiaki - By Umekoppe (8.5/10)
The title says it all. A handsome, codependent yandere barges into our main characters life. He makes it better in every way. He is a devoted and kind boyfriend, who she genuinely loves. Their relationship gradually slides down a slippery slope, towards toxicity and substance abuse. This one is a sad and scary read.
She's the ugly twin.
The fat twin.
The dumb twin.
Aoi stays out of the way. Her sister beat her at everything. She didn’t enjoy her childhood, and now she's a lonely adult. She doesn't get bullied. She gets used and critiqued constantly at work. Her boss does it to push more out of her. She also works for an abusive company in general. She has an office job, but she is severely underpaid. Even more so than her coworkers, because she gets saddled with helping everyone else.
Chiaki saves her when she's getting harassed on the train. He's been watching her for a while. He sees what she can't see. She's a kind person. She's too kind. He wants her to give that kindness to someone who cares about her, instead of strangers.
Specifically, him.
Chiaki is a record producer and songwriter. He's the rare kind of artist that makes alot of cash. I like the hint here. Producers are notoriously exploitative. They are literally known worldwide for taking advantage of naive dreams, and discarding artists that are no longer needed. Aoi just thinks he's cool and talented, but nice people don't usually succeed in the music industry.
He says weird things sometimes, but he is the best boyfriend she has ever had. There's a timeskip. They are a real couple. After two years Chiaki starts to get impatient. He wants Aoi to rely on him more. Aoi is pretty uncomfortable with being spoiled though, even after two years of gentle love.
Gentle love didn’t work. Aoi still sees herself as an unworthy, lucky person. Chiaki choosing to date her is a miracle in her opinion. She can't see why he was attracted to her kindness. He is naturally colder. Aoi is, despite all of her insecurity, a kind and hardworking person. That's even more admirable than it usually would be in this case, because Aoi isn't popular or successful. She's a kind and caring girlfriend, even though her life is hard.
Chiaki starts to push. He wants to live together. They're in an apartment now, but he has money. He wants a big house and privacy. He wants Aoi to quit her job and marry him. He is a rich man, and she hates her job anyway.
It's a win for both of them.
Aoi starts to get conceited. One of her coworkers has been using her as an errand girl. That coworker lost her boyfriend of four years, and she's been bumming around mixer parties looking for a new one. A handsome rich one. A guy like Chiaki. Aoi looks down on her, and she thinks she'll be ok no matter what, because she has a capable man.
She freaks out. She doesn't like what she sees inside herself. She doesn't want to live off Chiaki's money. She wants to value him as a partner, because he treats her so well. She doesn't want to waste her time being angry at coworkers. She doesn't want to hate her life.
She wants to be good.
Chiaki has been doing his best to get what he wants. He knows how to put on a show, and he loves Aoi very much. When a cute fangirl starts following him he handles it in seconds. He shows Aoi how capable he is whenever he can. He thought being the perfect boyfriend would be enough.
....but now Aoi wants space. She wants a career. She doesn't want her only accomplishment to be dating a rich guy. She wants to feel proud of HERSELF. It doesn't matter if Chiaki praises her daily. She needs to love herself too.
He kidnaps her(?). They move into his dream house after he manipulates her. He tells her he's not nice, and he loves her very much. She quits her job, and she becomes a wife that doesn't go out much. Someone who exists to be loved by her husband.
#yandere#male yandere#yandere male#yandere boy#recommendations#recs#rec#recommended#Umekoppe#You're the Cutest when you're pathetic ~Dru**ed S*x with Co-Dependent Chiaki
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hi babes
word? Chronic
character? Steve
genre? Humor
trope? First time
xoxoxox
atomic betty, you have no idea how excited i was to see you in my inbox! i love your shit so much, this one is for you! i hope you like it, you wondrous woman ♡
𝟏𝟖+ 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐲
𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩
Steve’s nervous.
Steve Harrington is very nervous.
And Steve Harrington is rarely—when not in mortal peril—ever nervous. Ever.
Regardless of discussion pertaining to the size of his head, Steve Harrington is blessed with genetics that leave most envious. He’d been an adorable baby, who’d grown from a cute kid turned heartthrob teenager to a handsome man.
Steve has also gone through every stage in relation to those age frames. He’d been one pompous asshole when he was a teen and he’d grown significantly as a person in the years since.
The crown of King Steve was left behind, encased in the glass display of trophies and framed headlines of high school glory days. He’d traded it in for a new outlook on life, trying his hardest to remove himself from the claws of his father’s control and live a life completely of his own.
He’d gone into the Business world right after he’d been able to move out, climbing, schmoozing, and sometimes low balling his competitors, to reach the top. Complete financial independence was finally his, and when Steve’s parents were ready to move on from Hawkins, he’d purchased the Harrington home from them—intent on filling those once lonely walls in that big house with laughter, love, and his own family. His kids. And…his wife.
Steve’s love life fared more notoriously in high school than as an adult.
It’s not that he lacks charm or the interests of women—he’s had numerous hookups and one night stands since—when he’d been building a career, romance hadn’t been on the top of his list of priorities. He’d just wanted to scratch the itch; fuck a lot, and get back to business as soon as he’s had his orgasm, and she’s had her several. Personalities didn't matter. He didn’t need anything other than a willing body, warm mouth and wet holes. That was made clear to all his sexual partners, not a single one of them went in expecting more, though a few had left it craving so.
Steve was sure all of them had fled the earth by the time he was finally ready to provide.
He had the home, he had the income, and he had all the love to give. And not a single woman he encountered in two years of dating since, clicked with him. There had been a couple he thought would be more permanent, stick around longer. It had been wishful thinking.
None of that mattered now, though. Not with you perched on the edge of his swimming pool, bare legs dangling in the water as you watch him do a few laps.
You’d been dating for a couple of weeks now, and it almost terrifies Steve how much he cares for you.
It had started off as a friendly encounter, though Steve was immensely attracted to you, and when you didn’t seem to hate him, he’d gone in with some flirting. You’d returned it, he asked you out on a date, and the two of you hadn’t stopped; sharing something intense and electrifying in the best of ways. With you, he felt a level of comfort he hadn’t ever achieved before—which surprised him, as he once believed Nancy was his soulmate given how comfortable he had felt with her. You made him feel safe in ways he hadn’t known he was desperately searching for.
He’s pretty sure it’s going to be you that shares his home with him. You whose belly swells with his babies, ready to fill the rooms. Or at least he’s hoping, praying, ready to beg whatever deity he has to that it’s going to be you.
That’s still not why he’s nervous.
Steve Harrington is nervous because he’s pretty sure the two of you are gonna fuck tonight.
He’s fucked a lot, alright? He’s probably slept with more women than the average man, but it was all in good fun for both parties and solely based on getting off.
This is not one of those encounters.
He’s not just fucking you. There are so many strings attached and he cherishes each and everyone of those strings, so he’s nervous because a lot is riding on this, and while he’s eagerly looking forward to the possibility of you riding him, he doesn’t wanna fuck this up.
He’s pretty sure you’re it for him, The One, and he’s also pretty sure he won’t last the second he’s inside you, can feel you around him so yeah—he’s really fucking nervous.
Apparently, it shows.
Once he’s done trying to tire himself out—maybe that’ll make him last longer—he wades over to you and uses your lap to prop his arms up on.
“You okay?” You ask, amusement coating your voice as you run your hands through his wet hair and Steve has to pry his eyes away from your tits. Letting you convince him to skinny dip with you after he’d cooked you dinner had also proved fatal to his libido. There’s no way you don’t notice what’s going on with him under the water.
“Wha─? OH! No, yeah, I’m fine. Just. Swim.”
Your tits also seemed to do his brain in. God—you look so good.
“I saw. You swam a lot. Looked like you were training for the Olympics.”
“I could have made the Olympic team.” He blurts out and you push him off of you to dunk him in the water instead. He emerges laughing as he wipes water from his face. When the two of you just started dating, he might have bragged a bit about his time leading the swim team enough to make it a taboo subject and now he does it to playfully annoy you.
“So, what exactly are you nervous about?” You lean back, torso stretching out and hands on the ground behind you. Steve has a difficult time remembering how to speak English. He’s pretty sure he’s drooling.
“Huh? Nervous? Me? You’re mistaken, honey.” He knows he’s caught. You already seem to know him like the back of your hand. It makes his heart flutter and his dick twitch.
“You were nervous at dinner, too, not like right now but I swore I saw you sweating.” You muse aloud, legs swirling in the water again and Steve’s eyes fly to the space between them just as they close to conceal it.
He glances up to see you hadn’t even been looking at him, your stare focused on the lights he’d had strung up above the pool for night swimming as you ponder. You were just unknowingly teasing him.
“No, no. Not nervous, remember?”
“It can’t be the house, I’ve been here before…” You trail off.
“So, we’re just pretending you can’t hear me.”
“But this is the first time I come over so late,” The smirk on your face is dangerous and Steve is positive he’s not lasting tonight, “Stevie, am I making you nervous?”
Your demeanor is so teasing, Steve can feel his face heating up despite the allocation of most of the blood in his body being below hip level.
“…You’re very beautiful.”
You throw your head back as your pretty laughter rings out and Steve grins, happy to amuse you and reap the benefits of watching your chest.
When you're done, your head lulls around and the smile you offer him would make his knees go weak if he was using them, “I might be able to help with that. Can I offer you a smoke?”
“A cigarette wouldn’t hurt,” He muses, eyeing you curiously.
“Not a cigarette, Stevie, though I know you’re a chronic chainsmoker.” You pull your legs out of the pool and stand to retrieve something from your purse. Steve proves the phrase hate to see you go but love to watch you leave applies to your relationship as he unabashedly stares at your ass the entire time.
When you return, you’ve got a yellow prescription pill bottle in one hand with your lighter in the other.
“Think it might calm your nerves.”
Steve is on you the moment you re-settle yourself, crowding his upper half onto your lap as he smirks, “I think you might be right.”
After you pull out a joint from your stash jar, and the filter is between his lips, you spark a light and he mumbles around it, “It’s been a while, be nice.”
You know what that means, so when Steve takes his pull and hands you the joint for your turn, he immediately begins violently coughing and you expect it.
You don’t expect him to be so focused on his violent coughing that he somehow forgets to float and immediately sinks into the pool. You let out a little shriek, toss aside the items in your hand, and push yourself into the pool after him, water rippling enough to splash over the sides.
A few moments later, you both break through the surface of the water, Steve spitting out water he’d inhaled when he’d been coughing and gasping down there, and you lead him to the wall of the pool. Steve grips onto the edge, and you grip onto the sides as well.
After Steve’s done coughing, he starts laughing hard, leaving you to throw him a bewildered look. It only makes him laugh harder, and you truly fail to find any humor in the situation until he wheezes out, “That was so embarrassing.”
You roll your eyes, but a chuckle sputters out of you and soon you’re laughing with him, despite having ruined your hair and soaked the joint you’d left on the ground.
“We are telling no one about this. It stays in this pool.” He declares around his laughter. You move closer to him and Steve’s laughter stops but his smile remains, soft eyes filling with lust as you’re nearly nose to nose.
”I won’t tell anyone.” You promise in a whisper and Steve barely has to lean in to claim your mouth, the taste of him and chlorine flooding your tongue. He dominates the kiss, mouth easily working yours as he pulls you in closer. Despite his slip up moments ago, you trust him to keep you afloat and press yourself to him, arms wrapping around his shoulders as his hands move to grip your ass, hauling you up and you can feel his head nudge against you.
Steve doesn’t last long at all. But he makes up for it in recovery time and you go at it again in the pool. And once more on one of the lounge chairs, again immediately after the two of you make it inside, then in the shower, before finally ending in his bed.
Turns out, he had nothing to be nervous about. You’re completely satisfied with everything he’s got to offer.
#Queenimmadolla’s smoke sesh#This is my first non smut for steve#As you can see i still got a little saucy with him#Steve Harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington fluff#Steve Harrington blurb#steve harrington drabble#Steve Harrington#i’ll tag it JUST in case#steve harrington x reader smut
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Doflamingo, Love, and Arrested Development
This is mostly just me paraphrasing other Doffy metas and comments I've made but I kinda feel like the real tragedy behind Doflamingo's warped psychology kind of gets missed by people who focus more on his trauma in and of itself and get lost in discourses about having sympathy for characters despite their complete lack of morality and disregard for everyone (perfectly possible), or whether Doflamingo has any redeeming characteristics or genuine concern for anyone or anything outside of himself (he doesn't).
Doffy's story is fundamentally a tragedy, but not because of his childhood traumas or how drastic and painful they are; plenty of One Piece characters experience severe abuses or incomprehensible loss, but they're ultimately stories of how to find hope in the face of the incomprehensibly traumatic, or the salvation/redemptive power of love. Even characters who don't necessarily see their goals fulfilled (see Fisher Tiger, Pedro, Ashura Doji, EGGHEAD SPOILERS etc) aren't fundamentally tragic ones in the way that, say, Ace is, in that they die having fulfilled their goals to the best of their ability and knowing that people will carry on where they left off, even if they don't get to see the liberation they hoped for. Rosinante's story isn't a tragedy because he dies satisfied that he's given hope to someone he loves deeply (and to some extent tried to make amends for some of the guilt he clearly feels for participating in an institution that ruined that child's life).
Doffy, on the other hand, is a never-ending downward spiral from day 1. He was indoctrinated by evil people from birth and never has it addressed (his parents, for all their talk about living more simply than the Celestial Dragons, NEVER actually say "slavery is bad" to Doffy when he asks them why they don't own people any more and I have my own theory on why), who then suffers unbelievable trauma and has his sense of loss–both of his "birthright" and his innocence/ childhood–weaponized for evil. And he spends the rest of his life in this semi-permanent state of arrested development and violent entitlement. He can't have the station and privilege of the Celestial Dragons to... own slaves and live in luxury, so he builds a kingdom where HE reigns supreme and everyone who crosses him is killed or enslaved as a toy. His mother dies and he kills his father, so he assembles a cult-like "family" to try and compensate for the one he's lost/destroyed, but he doesn't and likely doesn't know how to love them in any meaningful way beyond being possessive of them and seeing them as extensions of himself (e.g. he's willing to kill anyone who makes fun of Pica because no one's allowed to antagonize his "family", but he also orders Monet to do a suicide bombing in Punk Hazard, and he's willing to sacrifice one of them for the eternal life surgery, etc). I think that might be why, even though he should know Corazon has every reason to hate and fear him, he's still so eager to take his brother in when they reunite as adults–he shouldn't trust him, and he eventually comes to suspect him of treason, but he's desperate to have a family and Corazon is emblematic of something he wants but can never have because he's a cruel stunted person who knows nothing but entitlement and violence and cannot process the idea that anything has value or merits selflessness and sacrifice.
Everything Doflamingo does is defined by trying to replace or compensate for the family and privilege he was "supposed" to have, but he doesn't love anyone or even understand how real love works because he's been taught to have no regard for human life and all he knows is that love = absolute servitude, that his interests are ultimately more important than the wellbeing of his "family" members, and that betrayal means death. And far be it from me to sympathize with a fallen aristocrat's deranged revenge power fantasies, but it does demonstrate how oppressive institutions inevitably deprive their own beneficiaries of some of their humanity, and consequently fuck them for life. Doffy craves genuine affection and has had his capacity for it permanently stunted by his former class station and indoctrination.
This craving for love combined with an inability to actually feel it in any meaningful way factors into why he's so obsessed with Law, who he kept hardcore projecting onto in the flashbacks and who he expected to turn out just like him. His brother chose Law over Doflamingo and even his undercover mission out of love, and for all his traumas and hangups, Law can find his own crew and friends who he cares about, and he's able to live on and find meaning even after losing EVERYTHING because Corazon genuinely loved him enough to die protecting him. Doffy, on the other hand, is doomed to a loveless, misanthropic, cruel existence where he tortures countless people to compensate, but he can't replace what he's lost and he'll never find it. It's not what Corazon would have wanted, but Law fighting for and honouring Corazon's memory in everything he does enrages Doffy, who will never be able to understand why they cared for each other so deeply, and why both of them are integral to his downfall.
#one piece#trafalgar law#straw hat pirates#donquixote doflamingo#donquixote rosinante#corazon#one piece meta#dressrossa
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i saw your post about percy and annabeth kiss in boo and how you think it’s ridiculous that people think percy and annabeth are better as friends. well guess what? i’m one of those people. i hate how the main male and female leads are always forced together and that’s exactly what riordan did too. percy and annabeth would have been so much stronger if they had stayed this super amazing platonic friendship where everyone thinks they are going to date but they are like nah we just besties. and i think seeing that is a lot more powerful than just another badly written teenage romance. their chemistry feels forced and unauthentic, they obviously get annoyed with each other way too easily to be in a relationship, and they become dangerously co-dependent. and fine, maybe they would date for a few years since everyone would make them feel like that’s what they are supposed to do. but then i think they would realize that they are better off as friends and don’t actually have romantic attraction for each other. and that’s exactly what i think would happen if the author was true to their characters and not just writing for himself. but honestly i think there is a solid chance that they are both asexual, which there is a TON of evidence of, and wouldn’t even want to date in the first place. so sorry not sorry but percy and annabeth are definitely better as friends, and the people who don’t get strangely obsessed and attached to a basic and forced romantic pairing can see all the evidence in the books as to why.
ok this has been sitting in my inbox for a bit. i have almost answered it in several different ways, one being just saying “that’s an opinion!” but i think im just going to react to it honestly.
you have every right to believe whatever you want to believe. your imagination is your own. go crazy. or don’t. but it’s your own opinion and you have every right to have it.
however, to openly claim that the author isn’t staying true to their characters is not your right, because he is the one who invented them. they are his creations, so he’s actually the only one who knows exactly what’s right for them. the characters are based off of him and his wife who he has been married to for many many years - who are still very much in love with each other to this day - so i think percy and annabeth are actually one of the most authentic romantic pairings of all time. i am sorry that you don’t pick up on their naturally written chemistry and attraction for each other, because i think it’s a very important part of the story. it’s a very important part of their characters and their actions.
and you are absolutely right about one thing: they are best friends and love each other very much in a platonic way, and we DO see that a lot! it’s very clear that they are best friends first, and have that as a strong foundation. but they also have more there. they have strong romantic, and some implied sexual, feelings on top of it. and that’s okay too. it’s possible to have both a strong friendship and a passionate romance. that’s what makes them such an incredible pairing, in my opinion. they grow together. they start off as platonic friends and turn into young adults who are very much in love. it’s very natural, especially given everything they go through together.
so you can totally hc them as being just friends. thats okay! but i don’t think it’s okay to call other people wrong or blind or “strangely obsessed and attached” for believing in a romantic pairing that is very much supposed to be romantic.
thank you for the ask. have a nice day :)
#how did i do guys?#this one was hard#anon ask#answered ask#percabeth#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus
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Legacy
I have to do everything myself. /nm
ship: Captain Price x filo!141!reader
summary: running away from your birth family and then using a new name to enlist in the military came back to haunt you... of course it does.
a/n: I awakened my daddy issues and create a little something for the platonic dad Price lovers of the fandom.
tags: sfw. angst comfort. platonic dad Price. reader is a member of 141. post-mw2 (2022). Price calls reader “kid” but they are an adult (Price is just a dad). John Price being a good dad because look at him he’s literally dad shaped, Filipino words, Price speaking Filipino
You knew this would happen, but you still hated that you had been correct.
The paper that your family used to write you their last letter rustled in your trembling hand. They discovered that you enlisted in the military, after you ran away from them. You were a skilled enough schemer to get on top of your government documents to change your name, but in the middle of Shepherds' and Graves' betrayal, they made sure your family found you. Now they were both dead, and they were still fucking up your life in particular.
Wag ka nang bumalik. it said at the bottom, in your father's heavy penmanship. You wouldn't be surprised if he broke the pen he used.
Cheering and laughter resounded from outside the hangar. Oh, what good would come out of telling the boys? They were tired from that goose chase with Shepherd, and Soap was with Rudy when they made sure Graves was KIA. What they deserved was a full 8 hours of sleep, a full meal, and maybe a good lay unless you flirted your way through and stole their girl for yourself.
"Hey." Captain Price jogged up to you. "Where's all that victory yellin' a while ago, huh? The noise doesn't feel complete without you."
You drew your lips into a line, angling the paper away from his line of sight. "Mhm."
Price narrowed his eyes. The softness in his voice was only exhaustion, you were sure. "Everything all right back home?"
That word made you laugh. Home. Spending each day of each week under a roof with children who don't have sympathy (or empathy for that matter) because their parents never do. There were adults who should've acted more like Laswell when Gaz asked her get-to-know questions over the stupid comms. You suffered so many 'family gatherings' where your cousins and yourself were told to be more brotherly or sisterly, but when Soap was bleeding out because of Graves, you kept him lucid while you maintained his wound. You went back-and-forth with Ghost and his jokes. You jumped over 4x4s with Gaz and made it a competition just because. Rudy bantering with you in Spanish felt sweeter because the others were learning the language at the sidelines. Alejandro was happy to see you too, when you all came to save him from custody. The fact is, you gained two new brothers living in Mexico, and the rest are lumbering from the plane to the barracks to get some damn rest.
And Price. To answer his question, you offered the paper to him.
He gave it a simple glance, then shifted his attention back up at your face. "You sure, kid?"
You nod. "I trust you."
He slowly took the letter from your hands, and muttered some words that caught his eye. You wandered several steps away, hands on your hips and thoughts zooming through your mind. The exhaustion hasn't quite settled into your bones yet... or maybe it already has.
"What does 'wag ka nang bumalik' mean?" Price's eyebrows were furrowed. He was confused but open-minded in the way that the father who wrote that letter could never be. Even for you.
You clench your jaw. "Don't come back."
Price blinked, and the weariness that he otherwise already showed a while ago disappeared from his eyes. His shoulders squared, he was alert again. He was back on mission mode because of you.
"Shepherd's and Graves's last hurrah, or whatever." You take the paper back, breathing in. "I always wondered what being rejected actually feels like. Normally, I'm already gone before it happens."
"Oi..."
You shake your head, lifting a finger at your captain. He shouldn't sound so fatherly at this moment. Not right now. "I don't care. Really! I don't care. If they don't want to take me back, I'm not going back. It's so much effort to pack my things, and book a flight, and drive there if I'm going to get kicked out before I even see the welcome mat behind the door."
Price was looking at you with that warm, understanding, patient look on his face. You don't fucking deserve that! "Listen, if you're mad, then be mad. You're allowed."
You threw your hands up, defeated. "You can tell, can't you, Captain? Because it's natural for you to pay attention to everyone under your authority. I believe that you'd protect me because you follow through all the damn time. You're very cool when you do that, by the way."
"Thanks." he smiled fondly.
"And you know what? When they put me in charge of a unit, the best thing I can hear from those people is how much I act like you. They like how organized my operations are, how I praise their skills in the field, how I check up on them. I never learned any of that from him!" you lifted the paper, physically unable to say the name of your biological father. "Captain, it is so easy not to give a shit about any of these people. But I know I'm your legacy, and I know how to do things right. It feels good to be in a team."
Price stepped closer. Within reach, if you were all right with that sort of thing now. While he does want to hold you, his judgment call inclines more to prioritizing what you need. "Yeah, I'm really proud of you."
The first tears escaped your eyes, and you turned your head away smiling. Your voice broke. "That's not fair. You know I turn into a baby when you say that."
"Aren't you our baby?" Price frowned. Playful. "Ghost would never say it, but we all know you have scary older brother privileges. You're absolutely infuriating when you're with Soap, and Gaz always talks about how you dethroned him. See? You're our bunso." (youngest)
You studied his face for signs of lies and deceit that you knew you'd never see. He continued, approaching with his hands open and pacifistic. "You let me read the letter, so I have some idea about what's going on here. It's not your fault."
"Shut the fuck up." you laugh through your tears.
"It’s not your fault. I'm proud of you for having the strength to leave, and the wits to make sure they don't follow you here... well, until Shepherd and Graves." he sighed, cradling your face between his palms. Never mind the dust and dirt on his gloves. It was all over the both of you. "But we're 141. On this little slice of the world, we have room for kids like you."
He pecked your forehead and then gently wrapped his arms around you. You gladly melted into his embrace, hugging him back as tightly and lovingly as you could. "Understood, anak?" (kid, child)
"Opo, papa." (Yes, dad.)
#captain price#cod mw2#call of duty mw2#captain price being a dad#captain price platonic#john price platonic#cod mw2 platonic#cod x reader#cod x reader familial#cod x reader platonic#captain price x reader#john price x reader
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I'm going to get personal while talking about Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian
A lot of you don't understand what it's like to be a neglected child
I'm not saying Wei Wuxian was in an enviable position in the family as both the Golden Child (to Jiang Fengmian) and the Scapegoat/Troublemaker (Madam Yu)
To receive all the attention BOTH good and bad is not a pleasant position to be in (especially as it feels that while Jiang Fengmian favoured Wei Wuxian he didn't really see him, he saw his parents)
But to be the neglected child is awful
To know that your parents wouldn't notice if you weren't around hurts. To never receive attention and care and certainly not positive attention or care ever gives you severe insecurity and a feeling that you will never be enough and all your accomplishments are worthless because it doesn't matter how good you are or how diligent or how hard you work.
You don't matter
Your accomplishments don't matter
Your feelings don't matter
And yes you are resentful and angry but no one allows you that anger
They laugh it off or act like it's out of no where
No one sees your anger as justified. How could it be? You're not in the firing line! You're not getting the worst of it
And no you don't want to be seen in the bad ways and hurt in the same way but you fucking want to be seen
By anyone!
Just to have your hurt and your sadness and your loneliness and your successes and triumphs seen and heard and validated
That's all you want
And you want to protect your sibling from being the constant victim and try to play peacemaker but that doesn't work when you're invisible and you also hate that you will never be as good as them at anything and how there is nothing that is just yours. Your accomplishment that they haven't already done better
But they are also the only one who sees you at all
The only one who gives you comfort when you cry or backs you up when you do something well
But they don't keep promises anymore than anyone else
And there are reasons. They have their own hurt. Their own issues. They are also a child trying to grow up in a hostile world
But they still hurt you and leave you and don't see you enough
And there is resentment from them to you because you don't get targeted and you don't have to live up to anything and carry a weight that no one person should carry
Now I had enough issues with my own sibling (and they had enough issues with me. The causing each other pain went both ways) but we are reforming a relationship as adults
But if you add in secrets like the reason why Jiang Cheng lost his core and the core transfer that happened after plus the complete lack of communication from Wei Wuxian during it all and the seeming betrayals and rejections
Yeah it's no wonder that Jiang Cheng reacted like he did
And I gotta say I do like the relationship he has with Jin Ling. A Jin Ling who chooses to sit with Jiang Cheng. He sees his uncle and his hurt and his pride and he is proud of him, proud to be his nephew
And Jiang Cheng for all he is rough on the outside and makes empty threats and demands (that Jin Ling knows are empty and says as much) He is very caring and loving towards Jin Ling. This is shown in the trust Jin Ling has in him and how he gravitates to Jiang Cheng whenever he is insecure or afraid
And as crushing as the core transfer reveal and Wei Wuxian just leaving again was, Jiang Cheng did not go catatonic. He did not completely fall to pieces. Because he still has to care for his nephew and his sect
And I think that really shows how he has developed from a teenager
He had an embarrassing freak out but at the end of the day he can continue on. But he's still hurting
I think he can reconcile with Wei Wuxian but it's going to be painful and awkward and slow
I'm not saying Jiang Cheng is always right but I'm saying his hurt and his reactions are very real and very in character from the point of view of a neglected and unloved younger sibling
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Everybody Hates Lila (And Why It’s Concerning Sometimes)
Lila Rossi is not a stranger in the Miraculous fandom. In fact I’d argue she’s more infamous than Gabriel in some cases. She’s despised by nearly everyone and while some reasons are more justifiable than others, she’s all around not a good person and a mid at best character.
But here’s my deal with it. The fandom hates this girl to I’d like to say an….unhealthy degree. Like the amount of salt this character gets is unmatched. And I feel like the causation of all of this salt doesn’t really live up to the response.
Lila is a liar who causes characters to act out of character very often. And not only that but she also is Marinette’s main rival now and is a jerk to her. She’s underutilized and her lies aren’t that convincing and yet the story wants to convince us she’s more important than she really is pre butterfly miraculous.
This is Lila’s character summed up. At the most I’d expect is frustration mixed in with mild dislike. Reasonable but not over the top. Instead though, I see SEVERAL people make so many salt fics and talk so much shit about her that I just have to sit down and say….y’all need to chill. You all seriously need to chill.
The fandom talks about this character like she’s the spawn of Satan, something we’ve been criticizing Astruc for doing with Chloe, all because she doesn’t have as many redeeming traits as her. Did we forget that they’re BOTH kids? Both of them still have room to improve on themselves.
And I’ll admit it, I was one of those people who kept on saying “Why demonize Chloe when we have Lila” but thinking on it now, neither of them deserves to have that fate. If we REALLY need a character to do the whole “people don’t change” thing, why not Gabriel?
It’s so much better to have this lesson taught to adults to not be like Gabriel, to accept change and loss and to be better. To teach how heavy the impact of a lost love can be and how old age isn’t an excuse to be “stuck in your ways”.
Plus the lesson works better for someone who’s older than for teenagers who’s literally at the stage of their lives where change is everything. And I’m not saying Lila needs to be redeemed or she isn’t allowed to be a villain. What I’m saying is that the over salting on her character, a character that can be easily fixed and patched up, is kinda dumb and kinda annoying to see…especially when some people do like Lila.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, don’t think I’ve forgotten what happened years ago with that one fan that claimed that they loved Lila. That’s what happens when you take salting on a character WAY too far. And I can say that it’s only gotten a little better.
I just don’t understand why people can’t spend their energy talking about how to make a character better instead of salting on them 24/7 and this goes for all of the characters in ML.
I’m gonna be in the minority when I say this but Lila doesn’t deserve to be salted in as much as she does. She deserves reevaluation and a true villain arc. The constant bashing and insulting her at any chance ain’t it.
But you wanna know the thing that frustrates me the most about the Lila salt? How she started getting salted on in the first place. Aka, her being another barrier to Adrienette.
If y’all don’t know already, I don’t like the lovesquare and even back then I didn’t like it. And when I started seeing people hate Lila for this reason, I got very annoyed. It’s the same reason as to why people hated Kagami and it’s a stupid reason (imo). At least the other reasons why she’s hated had some foundation and sense.
TLDR: Lila is a mess but she’s not a mess that’s beyond repair but the constant salting on her and her character isn’t going to do anything. (If you really wanna salt on someone, salt on the writers for making her writing so subpar)
#miraculous#miraculous opinions#miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir#lila rossi#Lila sugar(?)#ml fandom critical#fandom salt#slight ml writers salt
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