#which is very cruel and bad

[thehellsystem]

I think I was a fucked up twelve year old I'm gonna be real

#i think it's weird when people see people who are happy and get mad at them #i'm just a guy wtf was I doing to make people hate me #“it's not your fault!!!” duhhhh #but it still bugs me #fucked up my relationship with adults SEVERELY!!!! #it was in a very unique way where i try to replicate all my previous adult relationships with new adults #so if we're friends and you're an adult I'm doing a fucked up ptsd thing #and it's against my will #which is very cruel and bad #once someone sent me death threats because of one of my coping mechanisms #(not sharing it cause the ptsd) #but yeah that was weird as hell #and now I can never be normal about that coping mechanism again!!!! #my boyfriend doesn't even know that I still do it #because it bothers me so much #i'm so scared people will do what they did to me again #and i'm not a scared person #it was just a really traumatic experience and i feel like no one understands because it's so outlandishly stupid

[brookheimer]

I sooo feel that it’s going to be the abuse revelations that will be the turning point in romans arc. So far he’s been painted as quite emotionally intelligent and business minded this season. I feel the press exposure of his abuse will lead him to the darker things we see coming this season such jumping into protests, being angry and a little unstable with matsson etc

yeah like lowkey that’s what i’ve been thinking too… like what if he becomes so desperate to prove his worth and be seen as his own person not the little boy beat by his father that he throws himself headfirst into atn/mencken/etc because if there’s anything that could drown out the abuse press it’s becoming a vocal fascist LOLL

like idk. i’m curious when it’s gonna come out too. maybe end of next ep? doesn’t seem like it’s present for a lot of the matsson interactions but again that could always be a bait and switch like the wedding ep trailer

i’m not entirely sure that that’s the route they’ll take (feels kind of like Sensational and Larger Than Life and more bojack horseman ish than succession kinda? while also being v similar to shiv’s open letter ab ken last season too) but it’s the clearest path we can see rn for the Roman Breakdown and it could happen for sure which is…. terrifying <3 will be watching through my fingers and weeping

#succession isn’t really a show that ~predictions~ work super well on unless they’re more general thematic or emotional things bc it’s all so #human and unpredictable in the way that real life tends to be ya know. but. this is certainly very plausible it just seems almost TOO tragi #like usually succession characters hit their rock bottoms bc of things They do/the consequences of those things #but it feels almost too cruel to have it be like kendall leaks these stories and ruins roman’s life so roman becomes an unstable fascist #like idk. feels too one-sided as in roman clearly didn’t do anything wrong there he’s JUST the victim which isn’t rly succession’s M.O. #the only rzn it’d be that clear cut is if they decided to make roman like EVIL evil and needed us to still feel bad for him #and idk just feels a bit like a different show the more i think about it #all that being said……. if the abuse leaks do indeed end up leaking roman is going to break #just unsure 1) if they’ll leak/what will be leaked 2) what that Breaking wld look like. no matter what tho it will be viscerally painful #abuse revelations being the turning point just feels almost TOO tragic :( like fuuuuuckknkkkkjjj #but hey. kendall left that door wide fuckibg open so…. eek #succession #succession spoilers #roman roy #asks #anon #succession speculation

[brutalmasks]

where do you carry your pain?

your heart.

you have loved and been hurt. your heart is tired, but cannot grow calloused...

tagged by: @divingdownthehole

tagging: @volegne, @warled, @question-marked, @cxpperhead, and anyone else who might like to take this quiz!

#SOMETHING FEELS AMISS: musings. #rp memes. #I AM HERE BECAUSE I AM BUNNY MASK: character study. #hmm. HMMMM WHOEVER MADE THIS UQUIZ... #i will be sending you my therapy bill in the mail!! / j NAH I'm kidding but this is honestly emotionally damaging. #bunny mask really does love humanity with all of her heart BUT i have a feeling that if she ever- #allowed herself to truly rest then she would fall into another hibernation like state? for like... possibly a decade or something?? #because her heart really is tired NGL and i feel as if this is because there is so many bad people out there- #even though there is also a LOT of good people which honestly means that her work is... well VERY cut out for her- #if i'm being honest (': anddd uh i can guarantee y'all that she has put her trust in someone before- #that betrayed her and that just made her heart feel like it was going to break into a million little pieces tbh. #thus basically what i'm trying to say here is that bunny mask REALLY needs a day to herself or something soon bc she- #just might not be able to continue with thing's the way they are now because it is awfully hard- #to love something that can be capable of being super cruel... but bunny mask is still! going to try!! to do it!!! #bunny mask always tries to take the high road after all. though y'all should like totally encourage her to take a rest... if you want to- #that is JSJSJ

[trainingdummyrabbit]

potion of Id Really Like It If My Body Stopped Randomly Experiencing Pains And Sensations

#its tooooo early for this. ouhg. #very verrrry cruel of us to have symptoms of Bad feel exactly the same as symptoms of Annoying #which also includes fun experiences such as 'wait do i know what cramping feels like'. andwell. i guess i dont ! #piktalk #having a body is like being asked to housesit somewhere and they dont leave u any instructions. there is an odd clanking in th walls. #time for a fun game of Call For Help or Just Ignore It ! yip...

[umarthiels]

surprise surprise, les mis letters has got me Thinking about Catholicism again!

#les mis letters #just tagging for personal use hfjfjwj #but yeah myriel my beloved #les mis published in 1862... idk when exactly myriel becomes bishop of digne but its so interesting #bc myriel is really serving that preferential option for the poor swag #i love myriel so much im breaking out my catechism handouts HAHAJSHDHF #but seriously to my knowledge All That is only really articulated in the 1960s and 70s onwards with the really revolutionary clergy #and its interesting to like grapple with/get into myriel and catholicism in general as it’s presented in lm #while knowing that. this is published 1862!!! the ph is still colonized by then! #noli me tangere was published 1887!!! and in it is padre DAMASO!!! a FRANCISCAN! who OUGHT to be like myriel but literally steps on '> #'indios' and DEMANDS they pay obeisance. a FRANCISCAN portrayed like that! and here is myriel #a BISHOP!!@ #padre damaso is also a franciscan iirc and dont get me started on irene and camorra (CAMORRA MY BELOATHED DIE BY MY SWORD) #sorry digression but yes very interesting #i guess part of it is that hugo was writing post revolution... that france had already had its anticlerical frenzy with the revolution and #hugo wasnt anticlerical and all that... and of course while the clergy did do oppression in france i don't think it was as bad as in the ph #where they were complicit in and participated in incredibly harsh and inhumane oppression and racism #(cough the monasterio de santa clara only accepting full blooded spanish as nuns until 1898 when the americans came.. though they did accept #native lay sisters who did household work etc) #like the church in lm is cruel in its discompassion/as a part of the wider world which is cruel bc it does not care/bc of apathy #meanwhile the church in noli and fili is cruel bc. okay first off inherently oppressive but second the people in it are personally shitty #damaso isnt just cruel in apathy he literally [*****] someone and has ibarras father disgraced #and he didn't do anything about what he knew was happening in the convent #anyway just spitballing im overdue for a reread of both anyway #but i have been doing research on the catholic institutions of the ph recently for Reasons #and the things they did.... dear god the children in the monasterio de santa clara.... #the 'problem' with the friars coercing women in the confessional.... #agh sorrh uh #tw clerical abuse #i think

[twinkskeletons]

what if there was a guy who was so lonely. i don’t know where the rest of this post was going

#txt #very cruel trick played by god to give me schizoid leaning autism but not turn off the part that needs social contact -_- #anyway trying 2 train myself out of it by reminding how it actually feels to talk to people. which is bad #not designed for it and that is ok 👍 it’s fine 👍

[ocdhuacheng]

pochita being denji's only safe space left... but even that getting kind of warped now

#wails #pochita has been very. creepy lately #im not saying i think hes malicious towards denji that would be.. bad writing imo #just maybe denji is in such a bad mental state right now that its affecting how he sees pochita #i dont know. but i do really think pochita's vibes have gotten somewhat sinister lately #or its just that pochita is like that in general (not that its a bad thing. just that its his devil nature) #but we havent seen how pochita interacts with denji a lot other than how he was as his pet in the beginning #so even though pochita loves denji hes just cant help but be a little creepy about it. bc hes a devil. #hes a cute puppy but hes still a devil so its just. smth Not Quite Right About Him #and thats just how he is #im not sure #csm #denji #.txt #cc #but my predicrion is that this pochita is denji's thoughts and that denji's self perception has become so bad #that he projects that onto pochita #bc i mean denji's mind (in the form of a child which is another convo all together) said hes not capable of having a family #and pochita is his family. so i think denji is kind of subconsciously making pochita more and more... Wrong as a reflection of that #i mean pochita's not saying anything cruel its just #'how are you gonna do that without no legs' sounds. wrong. coming from him.

[deancoded-deangirl]

hello can nick and i get married yet just asking for a friend

#he's the weirdest dude but he's so fucking patient with me #i need someone patient and stable to ride the emotional waves with me until i get better at self regulating #so far i'm getting really good at telling him that i need a minute or i'm going to be mean and passive aggressive #so then he gives me a minute and i regroup and then can speak rationally #which is GREAT for me who was once so brutally cruel instinctively #anyway by patient and stable i didn't mean he's my punching bag #i just meant that he doesn't match my extreme emotions (he will match excitement and happiness) and thus provides a baseline #like he stays steady so when i'm upset or mad he'll ask why and i break it down and by the time it's broken down i'm like... okay #so there was no reason to be upset #and we talk about impact vs intent all the time like sometimes he a lil weird in talking so it comes off bad #but yeah he's just really stable and so it's easy to bring myself back if no one is hyping me up #and whenever i'm irritated with him i'll still call his ass and put myself on mute and fall asleep with him on the phone #he's very good at calling me out too (he's also great at taking accountability if he does something) #like one time he showed me a video and i only watched a sec before jumping down his throat #and he called me out and i apologized and redirected and all #one time he had an attitude (when I was upset) and i was like dude what's with the tone #he's also good at like... idk what to call it #but he told me during one of those times when i was upset that it wasn't fair to him to say no but then expect him to do it anyway #because how was he supposed to know when to listen to me and when to not? it was a no win for him and it wasn't fair #and you know what? he was so correct and true for it #i apologized for that too #anyway. when can i marry him. #nick

[queer-ragnelle]

agravaine is just as charitable as “good” knights except he isn’t courteous like gawain so nobody notices. vulgate readers, you know.

#that time he was called into battle by his lady who was going to be married against her will #& he dad was so grateful he gave his daughter & agravaine a whole house to live in with baby mordred #or that time agravaine was out looking for lancelot #which is pretty generous on its own #but then he encountered some people terrorized by druas the cruel #so of course he beheaded him & brought it back to those people #agravaine is the sort where no good deed goes unpunished tho #so he’s sustained disabling injuries & been jailed for long periods of time & has a bad rep #bc he isn’t very nice #yet his lady is extremely devoted to him & literally helps him walk when he struggles #she is committed to him as a person even when he is bedridden & unable to perform knightly feats anymore #makes me insane

[lady-harrowhark]

Some of my favorite fun shots from Nashville night three ✨

#the opening Miss Americana/Cruel Summer sequence is still the single most gorgeous and creative live performance design I've ever seen #and the purple Folklore dress was MADE to be worn in the rain #i'm particularly fond of the Illicit Affairs shot #in part because the black and white made it easier for my camera to focus but also just the entire aesthetic #cannot believe I caught the lightning during ATW10MV #also the soft blur on the Bejeweled shot turned out so pretty #I'm still in shock that I got to see both WCS and Mine #having been lucky enough to see the show twice in vastly different seats I can confirm: there are no bad seats at the Eras tour #from the middle-side of the lower bowl I could see the main background screen but not the platform screens #but from the upper bowl you got to see the way the light-up bracelets were incorporated into the lighting design #which was INCREDIBLE - these particular photos don't really show that aspect but I have videos I can put up if anyone's curious #truly a very different experience from the different seats but not in a bad way #in a way that makes you go 'oh WOW they really designed this to specifically account for every angle and ensure there are no bad seats' #Eras tour #taylor swift

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

Hi what do you do if you don’t like someone but they think you’re friends and talk to you like you’re friends and can’t take a hint

#he’s too fucking needy and all he does is take and take and take #and I don’t have any love left for him #and I don’t know how to say that in a nice way #there are strangers who I’ve had five min conversations with #and I’ve gained more out of those ‘relationships’ than I have in this one in a whole year #like. I just Cannot deal with him he’s fucking horrible for my mental health #I’m sorry he’s going through stuff. I’m sick of being there for him when hes never there for me #and now he’s sending me ten pics of his hair and being like ‘which one is best’ and Buddy. we are not Friends #like it’s a silly silly little thing and I am replying because I don’t want to be rude but we’re not friends #and I don’t know how to convey that without being cruel #I didn’t talk to him for like several months until yesterdya #and he talked about how he missed me and wanted to hang out more #and I don’t Want To I’ve moved on to people who actually add value to my life and don’t use me constantly #like thank u for liking my personality! I Cannot reciprocate. sorry Buddy #I do have so much love to give but just not for him #but then I feel bad because IM also so fucking needy all the time. do people feel the same way about me and just don’t tell me #because it’s too much of an inconvenience to hurt my feelings because they can’t get away from me?? idk #I think me and him are similar and every time I say that Evan goes 🤔🤔 but idkkk #everyone else says we’re very different and I’m not annoying in the way he is #but ugh. #one day I’m going to be SO secure in every single one of my relationships. one day soon

[modernbaseball]

is he bad in the movie if so i don’t have to waste munee on a ticket

Yes Charlie Day and 90% of the other voice actors do very very poorly and I do say that as like. A Charlie Day and Lego Movie fan LOL like i know he is capable of doing a good VA performance. I know even Chr*s Pr*tt is capable and Jack Black is definitely capable and Keegan-Michael Key (Toad) was good in Wendall & Wild. and Anya Taylor Joy could probably be good in an animated movie though I will not be vouching for her. but everyone was absolutely giving their worst performances on a terrible script with what i assume to be terrible directing

the only VA i actively enjoyed was Magikoopa voiced by (quick google search here) Kevin Michael Richardson, who is apparently a prolific VA so. that checks out!

i should make a longer post instead of dumping this all on you who simply wanted to know if Charlie Day was any good in the movie but like. GOD it's hard to say just one thing! Nothing worked! It was beautifully animated but that is boring at this point it's illumination. I genuinely was more entertained by the same level of animation during Minions (2015) and I wish so badly that i was lyinggg!!!!

also one more quick note Yes i am very hypercritical even of things i really enjoy BUT for perspective even my mom who primarily watches like. British cop shows. Said it sounded like the voice actors "weren't even trying"

#im sorry to anyone who enjoyed and i envy your beautiful view of this cruel world because i went in very hype and very optimistic #ready for fun garbage etc. but wow it disappointed on every level! which is kind of my bad but...... #ask #film #i should make a tag i will probably bring this up again #the super mario bros movie #thats the name???????? ok

[andthebeanstalk]

Oh I have consumed too much Christian discourse I need to have gay sex immediately

#it is an ecclesiastical emergency #original #i got more or less the answers i needed and a good deal more i didn't need. it all comes down to faith now. #which is to say faith is rather hard to debate and so i am politely excusing myself now #it was a cult i grew up in too much discourse is bad for the belly #at least the christian kind anyway. i doubt I'd have such a reaction to buddhist discourse but either way all the religions appear to have #the same amount of conclusive evidence. which is to say they are faiths so they don't work on an evidence based system #but the REAL point here is i feel kinda gross now and my immediate instinct is to suck a thousand dicks #boy i really have changed huh #hmmmmmmm #i have limited options because i am very sick but I'll just have to like. suck a dick for the devil later i guess. #dicks.... #i tried to take in more of the densely philosophical responses - which to their credit were apparently well made and with good will #but my brain started shutting down and was like i need my tongue to be. in a cunt. NOW. #fuckin A #shitpost #anyway i still think if there is a god then he is a real bastard. which i think is actually what Gnosticism is! #but as interesting as that would be i think there are enough cruel and powerful beings to explain things as is #man i miss sucking cock i need to work on getting healthier just for that. it's not that it's hard to find cock it's that i would rather #something something funny joke than go on grindr again. yipes. not my bag personally

[transgaysex]

my emotions are all over the place

#wind howls #i feel like i am in a state of a mild anxiety attack. #perhaps i am anxious. huh. #atsv left me feeling weird which isnt a bad thing and i know that Specifically will pass. it happened with totk as well #but the travel to the movie and back were not great #so now im not feeling great. my body hurts and i feel vaguely sick. #i think a big part of it is me just. ranting to my boyfriend abt those events and my sibling listening in on me and texting me abt it #i think. that really really bothered me. my own privacy is very important to me. and i hate when it feels like thats taken from me #next time ill just text from the get go i guess. but also im just upset still. #i dont know how my sibling expects me to take their side in an 'argument' when the other side is my 11 year old baby sister. #and its not even an argument. its my baby sister just being a child and my sibling taking offense to her being a kid. #and like. its not even a case of me liking one of my siblings more than another. this is a case of 'youre being needlesly cruel to a kid.' #and somehow they havent realized by now that a kids wellbeing will always be more important to me than literally anything else. #especially when the kid is my own baby sister. #i dont like getting into arguments with my sibling because theyre strong and confrontational but also theyre just 18. almost 19. #theyre an adult ! but they still have all their teenage immaturity and fragility. #which obviously they refuse to acknowledge. because of the aforementioned immaturity and fragility. #genuinely if i had to pick anyone in my family that should talk to a therapist first. it would easily be my sibling. #i hope they get better soon for their own sake because i love them but my patience is running thin.

[castielmacleod]

I don’t know if anyone else had this experience but let me tell you that watching Crowley Supernatural spiral further and further into depression season after season with only the knowledge that this character was eventually going to commit suicide—not the how or why or when, just that it would happen—was very, very unsettling

#Crowley spn #Tw suicide mention #It was the only thing I knew about his storyline going in #And it gave every scene where he’s wallowing or getting yelled at or used or tricked or screwed over by his “friends” this awful tint #Because the scenes were awful enough on their own but knowing what I knew I was just like. I can see why he’s going to kill himself 😐 #And then every time something especially bad or unfair or cruel happened to him it had me like this is going to be it #This is when he’s going to do it #I had more than one of those moments even before s12 #Now his death as it actually ended up happening had a more purposeful noble sacrifice to it (at least it was supposed to narratively) #(I still think it was the dumbest most pointless shite death ever) #But like… I can’t even say what I’d been picturing for him up to that point #Suffice it to say it was as bleak as it could get #Not that what happened wasn’t at least somewhat bleak (to me) because he still very much took his life after being horribly rejected #But it wasn’t “Crowley alone and drinking as he emotionlessly sets up something Not Good” bleak #Which is more what I had in mind #Anyway as someone who used to be very suicidal I’m just very protective of this character #And his trajectory in the later seasons will never not hit with me in a really horrifying way and I can’t shut up about it #My posts

[dangaer]

i know a lot of people get mad at it but tbh shin really looks out for the heroine in spade and diamond route.

#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc. #I SAID. WHAT I SAID. #people absolutely despise him in ikk.i's route which is honestly fair if thats how you feel im never gonna be like HOW DARE YOU #but the reality is is that while shins words are very cruel in certain parts ( cannot deny that and he should apologise for them ) #at the same time. ik.ki was currently flirting with other women openly and not just “for work” and then he was also lumped in to having an #extra shift because a girl couldnt come into work as she was rejected by him. i would be mad too ... #but also like. at near the end of the route he makes a point to actively help them out which is his way of showing his support for them #like ... as a friend the way he looks out for the heroine is rlly remarkable. #its the same with diamond world bc for context. shin has done A LOT to help the heroine and her love for toma for this route #shins been papparazi #probs had to go round his face and find out random facts #he's always round toma's it just happens #but like. he actively gets involved when he starts to notice things aren't right and tom.a's getting restrictive #like he actively takes that role to help the heroine out. as a friend thats a really incredible thing to do #and SEE HAPPEN #it gives a good message despite the countless bad ones that surround it. #shin ONLY gets concerned when things dont feel right for him. and he backs off when hes proven wrong. hes genuinely got a soft heart ... #I PROMISE. #anyway. ull never guess whos character page ive done today--- FGSGFDGS i got lost in playthrough vids bc i forgot some of the events in #joker world so may have to revise that part #but we will see #i forgot how difficult bios are im ngl people who do them all in like a week are incredible mine are taking me literally 4+ hours and they #dont even look like 4 hours of work. gonna do my pages a lil diff tomorrow to see if that helps and then go from there somehow #TBD. #im emotional its 2:30am and im emotional about shin again 2022 is coming back to me