#I guess like it felt like it was owed

[dix-rose]

I just want to make it clear that you can like an artist and still criticize their actions

#stupid shit #I’ve been thinking a lot about Miss swift #and yes I know she doesn’t think about me so let’s get that out of the way #but I’ve been thinking a lot about her #and I’m willing to admit that there was a time in my life where I would defend anything that she would do #and it’s embarrassing #because I was an adult at the time #and it was at a time where I felt like everything in my life was crumbling she was just. the first source of comfort #I guess like it felt like it was owed #but I’m glad I’ve come to my senses and realized that nobody is a perfect human being #and putting someone on a pedestal is wrong #and there are PLENTY of things that she has done wrong in her life #not gonna name the entire list but I want to highlight the carbon emissions #it’s okay to say! hey!!! that’s wrong!!! she shouldn’t do that!!! #it doesn’t make you any less of a fan! #it’s actually kinda refreshing in a way #like a weight off your shoulders when you step back and realize that you can still like the art and criticize the wrongdoings #and saying that doesn’t mean you hate her #you can still accept that she cares about certain things and people #or that you respect her for the passion she puts in her work #I think I’m just trying to say it’s okay to not agree with everything your favorite artist does

[sethdomain]

hazbin is paced as 'musical' is still a horrible idea when the story your telling need in depth ass eating writing and felt like you just only ate a chunk of food that you're supposed to eat

#ignorelist #hazbin need a pacing like svtfoe first few season #then maybe it would be so good to watch #hazbin hotel critical #but what can you do when you were only told that the next season you geet may be indefinite or never #its totally understandable that they decided to execute the show like its a musical #maybe so at least they have fun with the short amount of episode they have to work with and maybe for the fan who actually care about the s #ow #and they did a fantastic job it felt like lin manuel miranda musical animatic thingy #though i admit not perfect #i guess their plan was so the fandom could fill in the gap

[ladysophiebeckett]

mind you, they got back together two days ago and this is the face he's making when she starts complaining about betty getting a living wage.

#ysblf #u know in parks and rec when ben and leslie would say 'i love you and i like you?' bc there's a huge difference between them #you gotta love and like the person ur with #well we know armando doesn't love marcela and guess what? he also doenst like her #like at all #just constant evidence even before the affair that he doesnt like her as a person bc he cant even trust her #anyway i know at this meeting he was like 'ive yet again made a huge mistake bc i felt like owed her something goddamn it'

[the-deadlock-south]

good morning yeehan community

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #cole cassidy #yeehan #art tag #im lying it's like six o'clock it's well in the evening now #also i finally drew OW2 cass :) idk if ill ever get used to everyone getting thicker beards but ig i have four months until OW2's launch so #BUT ANYWAY i've been MIA from the internet and i'm only just now learning there are charms in OW2??? and cass gets hanzo's lil bottle??? #OW really gotta step it up after the #wait who were the gays that got confirmed recently #yeah them anyway OW really better step it up after THEM this aint enough but i guess its a start #this shit been going on for six years if yall dont just jump right into the bush and stop tiptoeing around it im losing my mind #i was gonna draw a mini comic of cass just being a dork and hanzo being Himself but i have a pounding headache #plus i really havent been in the drawing mood as of late however i felt a responsibility to at least doodle something with this #anyway hanzo thinks its stupid and says so In Hanzo Fashion but cass knows better #hanzo's always had a funny way of saying he loves something Is What Cass Is Telling Himself #there's a junkenstein joke here #idk theres a lot of potential with this dinky little charm but Again. Head Hurts #also hence the very sketchy and I Dont Give A Shit RN nature of this scribble #so forgive me everyone i can only give something subpar #i hope someone does better than me #but for now im gonna go lay down or something- maybe have dinner #my head's REALLY killing me

[cold-neon-ocean]

I know there are those "send a [insert emoji] and I'll share a snippet from a fic I'm working on" asks but I can't find one right now so maybe just send an ask if you'd like to see a little something?? I wanna get braver about sharing my writing lol but also know that any snippets will be LoK/Baavira related maybe Bolin somewhere in there too lolol I've never posted fanfic work of mine literally anywhere in my whole life idk why it wracks my nerves so much but I wanna be able to share something when I don't always have art to offer XD

#asks for matsu #[ I guess lol #these would probably also be very short like true snippets #I've never finished a fanfic in my entire life so it would just be a tiny bit #but idk maybe if folks like them I can share more cx #I do have some old old Proxima and Corvus fics as well but I may take those separately bc there's really not as many as LoK #plus I haven't looked at them in a while so they probably need polishing lol #but anyways I'm working on owed art and commissions rn but this felt like a fun thing to maybe do cx ]

[keeps-ache]

jalapeño. in my eyeball

#just me hi #i was helping make pico de gayo and i thought i washed my hands properly #apparently NOT #hashtag that felt like the gates of heaven opening up and i wasn't supposed to be there #did i scream? no. did i yell in chat at Flame though? yea. it had to go somewhere. sorry Flame‚ but i think you'll understand when i say Ow #/well! there's another experience under my belt i guess Lol #cold water never felt SO good though #top ten things i'd do again to experience the full bliss of chilly water: #top ten things i comically said wouldn't happen and then happened less than an hour later: #/i really like the feeling that a lulling burn has though #good stuff! #//gotta wash dishes now tho. does the world have no pity (i did it to myself (it was funny ngl))

[whentherewerebicycles]

also I KNOW that all my college and high school friends are not actually announcing pregnancies or births at a higher rate than usual I’m just more hypersensitive/attuned to this kind of news than usual but also sometimes I feel an uncontrollable rage in my heart towards these people who are 1) getting pregnant for free and 2) getting pregnant, period. I recognize this as an irrational and unfair emotional reaction! it’s not like these people can help being straight and/or having uncomplicated pregnancies! but also I can burn with suppressed rage and grief about it!!!

#a college friend just announced the birth of her first baby and I am literally in tears of rage and grief about it #even as I am also happy for her! great for them! #like the heart can hold both I guess and this heart sure is busy holding both #I’d be closing in on the end of the first trimester #and instead I am just: nothing #I think the hardest is going to be if my SIL gets pregnant. like I already felt murderous rage when she wasn’t drinking at a dinner #it’s like TOO close you know. I feel crazy with anger about it and I know it’s not fair or kind #and for some reason the money stuff just muddies the waters further #like it feels like I’m just pouring thousands of dollars down the drain every month and all I have to show for it #is one fewer fallopian tube than I started with #and maybe it’ll take them a while to get pregnant but they’ll be doing it for free with two incomes #i just have a childish stomping-my-foot reaction to it sometimes #like the universe owes me anything #I think I am going to start the foster parent online training modules this weekend sigh #I’d like to have everything ready to go or in progress so that if I try for 3-4 more months with no success #I can at least begin the slow painful pivot faster #blah blah pregnancy loss grief #IUI tag

[irregularbillcipher]

going over old fic notes and outlines and character talks with friends and it's always really funny when i get to the stuff i was developing early-mid 2019 where bill just literally kept kryptos around to rag on, and he genuinely just. did not like the man. like was just completely annoyed with his general existence. boy have things changed

#for anyone curious: i came to the conclusion that no amount of 'this guy sucks but he's fun to bully' would get bill to keep someone around #for like literal eons. bill gets bored of his toys too quickly. he'd break 'em. plus the fact that bill decided he was worth saving to begi #with. there was at first an element of 'i owe the guy' because [FIC SPOILERS] and a grudging 'if i had a gun to my head i'd say he was my #best friend i GUESS but do not tell him that' but no real genuine friendship or anything more #before realizing that with the specific story i was going to tell it just made the most sense to have these assholes still be like. #bad people for sure but to actually care about each other. it also just felt too easy to write bill off as someone whose cruelty is just #a lack of certain emotions. like that doesn't automatically make a bad person and a bad person doesn't automatically lack emotion #(there's a character that'll be introduced sometime soon who is aroace and doesn't make friends easily and she's lovely because...) #(idk man. i'm aroace and why shouldn't she be. a lack of affection doesn't make you bad and the ability to feel it doens't make you good) #so bill can and does love people-- even if actual vulnerability is near impossible to get from him-- and kryptos is included in that #it's just that he still sucks really bad and hurts and even kills people that he loves because again. bad person who has no idea how to #navigate relationships healthily because of his own baggage and the environment he grew up in #(also in canon he usually does not want to navigate relationships healthily because. again. he sucks!) #so the only lasting relationship he's ever had where he isn't trying to hurt someone is still just... messy as hell #(and to be fair kryptos is also a p. bad person by adulthood it's just that they're pretty young at this point in the fic) #(so there's less avenues to show that) #kryptos being desperate for any scrap of attention and bill providing the only attention he's ever gotten was always the vibe #but it really was much more of a 'bully and bulling victim who he lets hang around him because said victim' #'is like the only one willing to talk to him' dynamic which is... very much not the case anymore #as said in the tags of my fic. these awful shapes care about each other as best they can care about anyone #anyway sorry idk how much anyone really cares about these tag essays but theyre helpful for me to get my thought process like... down #and track how different the story used to be

[train-inthedistance]

U still around..? Miss ur blog. Hope ur OK.

aaaa i can't believe im being missed :'o <3 im so sorry im not online as much anymore, i miss you guys too :( im more or less ok though, ive just noticed that my visiting of this website has been pretty compulsive when im not doing too well tbh, and ive recently decided i need to get out of this ditch that ive been in for the past idk 10 years or so for real and that it requires energy and mental capacity etc that i don't even really have in the first place so ive deleted the app from my phone and only check my account every now and then :'( i hope i'll be more active in the future though.... pls never hesitate to shoot me a msg if you feel like it, as i said, im still online every now and then just to check what's happening lol

lots of love, hope youre doing ok too<3333333

#ive literally lost touch to every meme and international internet discourse reference in the span of 2 months or so i feel so old lol #but yeah no idk im still dating r and it's a lot of work but really really nice and healthy and it actually made me look into #therapy which is super demanding atm as well but really ive been normalising a status quo that was really not good for me #and like ive turned 27 last month....ive been struggling with undiagnosed and unmedicated depression + anxiety for the bigger half of my #life ive had a huge breakdown in september where i felt like i put every last bit on the line and i realised that i cannot keep sabotaging #the people around me that i love + care for (and myself too) so yeah im trying to be more healthy atm and nicer to myself and thus to other #and i felt like while i owe A LOT to this community and this app it's been eating every deeper thought that i have recently #i guess my brain is too prone to addiction lol but i just cant afford that rn #but catch me on here in a few months i guess ghsdfjgskjdsgf #me #ask #anon

[funnylittlelad]

not to be depressing but:

i have been sitting with a semi-official hEDS diagnosis for days. if my genetic test comes back clear of anything else, that's it. i finally have my answer for why my body is Like This. i know what's up and i can do something about it. except i'm so used to being told that whatever we thought was the problem isn't and it's time to move on to the next thing. that part is over now and idk... i guess i just never thought i'd end up with a diagnosis other than early onset arthritis. it isn't as liberating as i'd hoped it'd be. now that i know, i know there are things i've lost that i can never get back. i know that there was a chance it didn't have to be this bad, if my parent with hEDS had been proactive and acknowledged it. i know the risks that i didn't sign up for, but have to take anyways by virtue of being alive in this body. i've been trying to feel like it's not that big of a deal since i've lived with it this long anyways, but it's not really working. my life looks different now and i'm admittedly struggling to adjust. my health has deteriorated so much in the last year alone. i'm scaling back on school and scaling up on doctors. i don't even care about the consequences for school anymore. i just want to feel like a person again.

#all that to say i know ive been mia #and i know i don't owe an explanation but this is the only place ppl don't really know me #so it felt like the place to finally put these thoughts somewhere #anyways why are u still here??? thanks for reading i guess?? (joke) #funnylittle ramblings #hEDS #eds #chronic illness #chronic pain

[todayisafridaynight]

Prior to sending the ask I was just guessing what matrophobia meant based on the root words but I looked it up after and went ohhhh and then you confirmed that extra dimension to it and I went OHHHHH

I think that gets to the heart of what I've been thinking about, that bittersweetness, because despite his best efforts... of course he could never end up anything like Yoko, but he still ended up with an abusive "household." Because in addition to Masato ending up how he did, he has to see those same situations play out, feel that same tension in the air between Jo and Ichi, over and over for almost a decade straight.

Like, in a way, he's forced to put himself in Toshio's shoes when that happens. He can't really get through to Jo, in the same way Toshio can't get through to Yoko, but he can try to step in before lasting damage is done, and he can try to make it bearable for his son. You know. Have a nice talk. Treat him to Peking duck. I'm SO normal about the (drawn-out) parallels of those scenes

So then with Jo... he kind of does become his father, even if he never wanted to (no one wants to), both through his ruinous neglect of Masato at birth and through how he comes to look at discipline and corporal punishment. I'm sure it's not lost on him in Masato's case (owww), but with Ichi, it's not like he has any reason to see him as his son... But How Far Can That Take You.

Because it's like, at the start, he was openly beating Ichi in front of Arakawa and not letting up much when Arakawa intervened. But then you have The Yubitsume Scene and Arakawa walking in on All That and... he looks sorry. Sorry for being caught, probably, but sorry nonetheless. Like... what changed between then and now... have you two had a Heartfelt Conversation... do you know where Arakawa got that scar... are you unable to change your "nature" even then...

Side note bro your SHOE is the size of his TORSO I promise you do not need to kick him with all the strength you've got like what the hell is this 😭😭😭

BUT ALL THAT ASIDE thank you so much for delving into the symbolism! Wonderful read. I don't really have an eye for symbolism, so that makes it all the more enjoyable to revisit the comic and everything with what you've gone into. I think a lot of your experiences resonate with mine, so conversely I'm not sure what others would take away from it, BUT I think there's enough there that's so insightful and evocative that it's effective without personal experience. I don't think there's anything I could add, so. Yeah. For once I am happy to sit back and take it all in... On that note, definitely looking forward to your next comic!

AUUUGH YEAAAH YEAHEYA HYEAH THAT EXACTLY OUUUGH OWIEE OWW.....

that's literally it though. like no extra notes. except The Obligatory Few i dont think it was an accident that arakawa is set up as the beginning of the game's 'protagonist' and planting that 'troubled family' taste first thing in our mind. i remember how i felt when i first saw arakawa walk in on jo and ichi and then arakawa taking ichi out for dinner i was just like🧍‍♂️Girl No The Cycle.... It's Continuing...... //screams// LIKE UGH IT WAS SO GOOD BUT ALSO OWWW STOPPP and then on the REPLAY it just hurts more cause with the added context to jo's character its like Oh No...... You're Your Father's Son....

and youre right: jo doesn't have an implicit reason to see how he treats ichi is wrong, hence he similarly doesnt have any reason to stop- not unless arakawa intervenes of course (and i will stand outside my window thinking of the possibility arakawa ever did try to have A Conversation with jo... arms folded behind my back and all like Man™️....)

oh but yeah, absolutely no problem ! im lowkey of an egotist so i do like to talk bout the stuff i make. More In Depth (though thats obvious considering the fuckin essays in the tags i always leave ☠️☠️) gerjlgaELKjg. so i was happy to explain ♪(´▽｀) !! what i like about symbolism is that it can be intentional or not, and the fun is always finding it just by chance. i cant explain it properly, but i just think its a neat 'seasoning' of sorts to drawings (❁´◡`❁)

#long post #snap chats #everyone in rgg got flipper shoes i stg tho like evey time i look at everyones renders i gotta point it out to myself 😭 #speaking of. The Cycle. and Personal Experiences. arakawa walkin in on jo and ichi esp hits cause thats def a thing thats happened to mysel #its insane how one woman terrorizes my whole family but no cause i remember my mom would tear me a new one. Metaphorically #or she'd be pissed at my sis and i and my sis would just take us out for lunch and we'd talk bout it #Unsurprisingly my dad would do that for me growin up and he was there #i used to visit him on weekends when he lived nearby and those were my Peking Duck dinners in a sense #he'd just do his best to make sure i felt at home and making sure. i was cared for for once LMAO #so yeah to see that repeat in my family with my sister taking the role of my dad its like ow... #OH YEAH NO ITS BEEN A HOT YEAR SINCE I SAID HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME TO GET THROUGH THE BEGINNING OF Y7 HUH #it hurts a lot to watch masumi's backstory since it's EXTREMELY personal and hits too close to home but i watch it anyway 🥴 #probably the first and only time a piece of media can actually 'trigger' me that badly i guess. how lame #i think ive updated my villain origin story enough tho. im sorry you also had a shit mom If Im Assuming Right #i wish it was easy to deal with bad parents but. well. if it was we wouldnt have them amiright #the best i can do is vent how i feel and at least try to have people in similar situations as me feel. understood. as corny as that sounds #its a little heinous to say Im Glad Our Experiences Are Similar cause id never wish my experiences on anyone else #but i guess i mean to say im glad we can understand each other in that regard #on a semi-better note. please dont hope for the comic anytime soon i only just finished sketching set pieces ( ´◡` ;;;) #I GOT DISTRACTED AGAAAINNNNN also its very cold and i dont work well in the cold. s'cause my fingers get all stiff EW #but i WILL have this one done i have too many abandoned projects i aint abandoning another one #with that in mind its funny you mention arakawas scar cause i did have a tiny baby thing in mind with it #nothing sad or serious this time just somethin cute even. if THAT ever happens we'll see it but yeah. just another funny case of Timing #alright bye bye for now i should work on this. after i answer your second ask HANG ON ILL SEE YOU THERE--

[the-ghost-king]

actually the most annoying thing about my coworkers (and in general, quite a lot of people) is they all say the right things to sound really progressive and like they're well read politically but the second they actually have to apply those learned beliefs they continuously fail again and again yet continue to act like they really are Those-Progressive-Thinkers™ because they want to be so bad they forget they aren't...

#im not gonna say I felt like attacked or whatever today because of something that happened #but like holy fuck ow i guess? #also ive had a coworker who has now worked their for months and they keep misgendering them #and it's so aggravating just being around it I know it has to hurt being the one subjected to it #like i pass so I get by but like being nonpassing is hard and months later they still haven't improved #its not even like this coworker changed pronouns since working there or anything #... #idk I needed to rant this is that rant im good now #btw I hate college

[deivorous]

..

#[ ooc || out of control ] #ive honestly never really thought much about nnoitras scar except for the physical consequences of the injury #so that was a really good thought and writing exercise. I might change my mind with some more thought on it but for now im happy with this #as with all things its somewhat of a complicated manner #theres the emotional injury (which grimmjow is ignoring) which adds so much weight to the scar #it just feels like such a mark of failure #it was so inconsequential to nnoitra. he did the damage with such ease #grimmjow has always ALWAYS felt like such a small fish in a large pond and i think his fight with ichigo was meant to finally allow him to #grow out of that self defeating self destructive and beastial mentality (which wa representative of the general hollow pov & not exclusive #to just grimmjow himself ) and then nnoitra comes in and immediately denies him (and HM) that growth #like from a literary analysis point of view the lesson (which i believe is quite in line with nnoitras general hollow mantra) is that growt #for hollows is impossible #and should be denied and rejected at every turn becasue there is no HOPE for them there is no FUTURE in which they will be accepted #the best and only thing a hollow can do is Die. And Grimmjow should have taken the opportunity to die on a shinigami blade #at least then the would reincarnate. but no he was stubborn and tried to take more than the desert owed him an nnoitra would be his reminde #its a confusianist perspective that seems a little at odds with Nnoitras general symbolism? but simultaneously aligns with Aizens and the #overarching theme of the espada in general (which i dont personally believe was intentional on Kubos part but maybe?) #idk i guess i have more to say but its not quite a fully formed thought

[bestial4ngel]

Okay but the way that so much of their lives revolved around Logan in some way or another. They weren’t close emotionally obviously, but he was always there sort of controlling or morphing their lives somehow with his decisions, his influence, his praise, his money, his disapproval and rejection. There’s a hole in the middle of Waystar now that everyone’s going to be scrambling to fill, but there’s also a similar hole in each of the kids because of how much room in their lives and their minds he had been taking up.

#pain and suffering. #I think conner is the exception to this because it seems like he walled himself off to that on some level. he wasn’t fixated on it— #like his siblings were and his stake in things never felt very crucial. I guess he accepted and was used to the inconsistency so to protect- #himself he didn’t invest his emotions and self worth in it as much as the others. he’s the only one who had more of a life outside of logan- #and waystar. shiv had a life outside of it at first ofc but even then she was constantly getting drawn into the family stuff #succession spoilers #succession #to be honest I feel like so much of their energy was going towards him in some way whether that was pleasing him and doing things for him or #going against him… it was always about him and less about themselves and their lives. #I feel like that’s where the gap will come in as well. like everything revolved around him and now suddenly he’s not there anymore #me talking #ow ouch ow ouch #Weird take and I know absolutely nothing about codependency so I might be flat out wrong but I feel like the roy family excluding connor- #might have been kinda codependent with each other ? at the very least on an emotional level #sorry for the tag rant 💀

[lyekisses]

i’m being sooooo strong and sooooo brave and not snapping on anyone today 🙏🏻

#PEACE AND LOVE!!!!!! PEACE AND LOVE #like ok work was annoying and long. what else is new #everything felt like it was going wrong and everyone was driving me crazy but it ended okay ig #then i came home and my mom is acting neurotic and insane and like vacuuming at 9:30 pm. like can we do this idk. #not right now 😭 #also im just annoyed like i don’t want to turn into a villain for asking for money BUT MY FRIEND OWES ME MONEY #like every time we do anything she has like 6 dollars in her account which. ok whatever times is hard #but she always insistsssss she’s paying me back and like 40% of the time she does!!! #so i guess i can’t say she NEVER does #but girl. the other 60% #and i don’t want to be that annoying person who’s upset over 30 dollars like it’s not about the 30 dollars #it’s that she SAYS she’s going to but she rarely does 😭 AND THEN BUYS HERSELF NEW SHIT like girl ik you didn’t need an ipad 😭 #well. maybe i’m a bitch!!!! #idk im just in a bad mood LOL ok rant over #i don’t even feel better but rant over <3

[moe-broey]

NOT a Three Houses hater for the record. More of a fake fan than anything LMFAOOOOO

#fire emblem #i just. couldn't deal w how restrictive the gameplay felt 😰 #like from academy arc to missing time sensitive supports fuck your whole life i guess #to having p much the same cast of characters start to finish w little flexibility like. hope you like your class bitch 🙄 #and like yeah they're p complex p cool. but like what do you even do one a second run. #DEFINITELY was spoiled by 3DS emblems having a wide range of characters and stupid things to do w them LMFAO #also if i can't move at my own pace or give myself little sidequests i'll die LMFAOOO #oh and calenders are my mortal enemy. the passage of time/time sensitive events. #girl i suffer from time blindness. girl this is so hostile to my psyche. girl help. i'm gonna throw up and cry about it #eventually i'm gonna just have to watch someone else play it i think LMFAOOOO #my sister most likely! but also. new emblem. won't be for a while LMFAOO i'm not pressed through bc NEW EMBLEM #one i can actually play and NOT feel like everything is a chore LMFAOOO #i owe everything to the breaks in between battles too like. it's so important to me. to my brain LMFAO #i need to pet my arcade prize dog who has every deformity and disease like pug 2 or i'll DIE and BURN in HELL #my son Bo (body oder) (stinky)