#I feel like everyone probably already knows this and I’m just slow on the uptake | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bloody-bee-tea · 3 years

Text

Joke

This starts out as Xicheng, but they break-up. The endgame is Mingcheng.

When Jiang Cheng steps into the café, he’s calm and collected and he inwardly laughs at his own thoughts, because the only thing he truly is is numb.

But he at least hopes it comes off as calm and collected.

He doesn’t have to be a genius to know why Lan Xichen asked to meet him here, what today’s discussion will be about, and if Jiang Cheng is being honest, he expected it to happen a lot sooner.

Because of course Lan Xichen would want to break up with him.

It was only a matter of time—always has been, really—and the only truly surprising thing about their relationship besides the fact that Lan Xichen had been willing to enter one, was the fact that he endured Jiang Cheng for this long.

So really, this talk is long overdue.

“Wanyin,” Lan Xichen greets him with a smile when Jiang Cheng finally makes it over to his table and he’s surprised to see that Lan Xichen already ordered his favourite for him.

Jiang Cheng didn’t expect Lan Xichen to waste anything on him anymore, but then again, Lan Xichen is unfailingly polite.

“Xichen,” Jiang Cheng replies as he slides into the booth and for all that he pretends to be calm and collected he can’t quite meet Lan Xichen’s eyes.

“You seem—tense,” Lan Xichen starts with and Jiang Cheng can’t help himself, he snorts into his coffee.

“Shouldn’t I be tense when you call me here to break up with me?” he shoots back, momentarily forgetting that he wanted to come off as calm and collected and when he drags his eyes up to meet Lan Xichen’s gaze, he seems honestly surprised.

“You know?” Lan Xichen breathes out, and he does seem apologetic but it doesn’t change the fact that this will probably be the last time they will ever speak like this.

“Of course I know,” Jiang Cheng scoffs. “I expected it much sooner, to be honest,” he then adds, always unable to keep even a single thought from Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng only drops his gaze again when he sees Lan Xichen wince.

“Wanyin, don’t,” he pleads and Jiang Cheng knows that this is at least half the reason Lan Xichen is breaking up with him.

His self-deprecation is simply too much for him and Jiang Cheng can’t even fault him for that.

“You are lovable,” Lan Xichen says and it’s a bold enough lie that Jiang Cheng laughs straight in his face.

“Just not enough to be loved by you, right?” he gives back and he knows that he’s making this unreasonably hard on Lan Xichen, but he can’t help himself.

He can never help himself.

“Wanyin, sometimes people just don’t fit together,” Lan Xichen whispers and Jiang Cheng scoffs, because he knows that better than anyone.

He sees that day after day after day with his parents, and in hindsight he should have never gotten together with Lan Xichen.

He’s too much like his father—gentle and soft and peace-loving—and Jiang Cheng is too much like his mother—sharp and cruel and angry.

Their relationship was always doomed.

“You will find someone who is better for you,” Lan Xichen whispers and Jiang Cheng has to give it to him, he almost sounds like he believes it. “You will find love again.”

Jiang Cheng’s mouth twists, because he knows it won’t happen.

It was already a fluke that Lan Xichen fell in love with him; it’s unlikely that Jiang Cheng will get this lucky twice over.

Sure, Jiang Cheng will fall in love again, eventually, that much he’s certain about—he always did love too easily, too quickly—but the reverse is much harder to come by.

And Jiang Cheng is definitely not going to hold his breath for it.

“Sure,” Jiang Cheng says and then rubs his forehead.

“Wanyin,” Lan Xichen says and he sounds pained.

“I’m not—it’s okay, Xichen. We both knew this was coming, after all,” Jiang Cheng says with a sigh and a small shrug, because they had known.

Jiang Cheng even expected this much earlier.

“I don’t want us to part on bad terms,” Lan Xichen says into his tea and Jiang Cheng even manages a small smile for him.

“We won’t,” he promises, because if they do, it would just be unnecessary hard.

They have to see each other regularly, because of work and because of their brother’s, and if they are constantly fighting that would just put a strain on everyone.

Besides, it’s not like Jiang Cheng can be mad at Lan Xichen for realizing his enormous mistake and getting out of dodge before Jiang Cheng’s temper can erupt and ruin something between them that cannot be repaired.

“Thank you,” Lan Xichen earnestly says and despite how much it hurts, Jiang Cheng knows that he could never be mad at Lan Xichen.

He will need some time, that’s for sure, because he loves Lan Xichen, but he will get over that.

Jiang Cheng dealt with his crush and unreciprocated feelings before. He can do it again.

And when Lan Xichen smiles at him, he knows that it’s worth it.

~*~*~

Love finds Jiang Cheng a little bit quicker again then he expected it to.

But one day he’s hanging out with Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue and everything is fine, and then the next day there are butterflies in his stomach when Nie Mingjue laughs.

Jiang Cheng freezes for one second, before he shakes it off.

He’s used to dealing with unattainable crushes-mostly because for him, everyone is unattainable—and he honestly enjoys Nie Huaisang’s and Nie Mingjue’s company too much to let this ruin anything.

Jiang Cheng very deliberately does not think about the fact that by now, those two are like the only friends he has left.

It’s not a thought Jiang Cheng enjoys.

Jiang Cheng excuses himself for a moment nevertheless, pretends that he has to use the bathroom, when really he just needs a moment to let it sink in that he’s in love with Nie Mingjue, and then he very heartfelt says “Fuck me.”

“And here I thought you’d rather have my brother fuck you,” Nie Huaisang suddenly says from the door and Jiang Cheng startles so badly he lets out a little yelp.

“What the fuck, Huaisang!” he hisses, but Nie Huaisang only smiles at him.

“And again, I think you should rather say that to my brother,” he easily says and Jiang Cheng’s stomach drops.

He barely accepted his own crush; he’s not ready for anyone else to know about it.

“No,” Jiang Cheng tries, shaking his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Nie Huaisang gives him a judging look, and despite having to endure Lan Wangji for entire evenings sometimes, no one gives judging looks like Nie Huaisang.

“I saw how you used to look at er-ge,” Nie Huaisang says and Jiang Cheng goes cold. “And I see how you look at da-ge now.”

“I don’t look at him any kind of way,” Jiang Cheng rushes out and then walks past Nie Huaisang to close the door behind him.

“Sure,” Nie Huaisang easily says, but he’s judging Jiang Cheng and his every life-choice and Jiang Cheng knows it.

“How can you even know?” Jiang Cheng desperately says. “How can you possibly know when I just realized it a few moments ago?”

“You always were slow on the uptake,” Nie Huaisang says with a shrug but it’s not unkind, not mean. “You’ve been looking at da-ge like that for a while now.”

Jiang Cheng wants to protest, wants to deny everything but Nie Huaisang silences him with a look.

“Do not even try to play dumb,” he threatens and Jiang Cheng deflates.

“Don’t say anything,” he pleads with Nie Huaisang, because the thought that Nie Mingjue should find out about his feelings is the single most terrifying thought Jiang Cheng has had in his life.

“And why not?” Nie Huaisang says, narrowing his eyes at Jiang Cheng.

“Because you’re the only friends I have left,” Jiang Cheng whispers. “Because I don’t want to lose this, too.”

He didn’t completely lose Lan Xichen after their break-up, but it was understandably a bit awkward and they never got over that stage. They are polite to each other and are able to do small talk, but that’s about it.

And now that Lan Xichen is dating Jin Guangyao it even got worse, in Jiang Cheng’s opinion, which has a lot to do with Jin Guangyao’s glares, but it didn’t fundamentally change anything.

That change happened before Lan Xichen’s new relationship and so now Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue are the only ones Jiang Cheng has left.

Alone for that, he would never say something, the fear to lose this as well too great.

“You’re not going to lose anything,” Nie Huaisang says with a frown. “You would only gain something.”

“And for how long?” Jiang Cheng says with a bitter laugh. “Until I confess and Mingjue regrettably tells me he doesn’t feel the same and then it gets awkward?”

“He might say something different,” Nie Huaisang says, but the thought that Nie Mingjue might reciprocate his feelings makes Jiang Cheng panic almost more than the thought of him saying no.

“And then what? He endures me for a while, before he too realizes that I’m too much? Too angry and too stupid and too sharp and not soft and good enough? You think I want to do that again? If Lan Xichen couldn’t stand me, you think there’s anyone out there who could?”

“I can stand you,” Nie Huaisang says and he honestly sounds a little bit hurt.

“Yeah, because you can tell me to fuck off when I get on your nerves. It’s different in a relationship, Huaisang. Mingjue would have to endure so much of my shit and he’s not going to like it.”

“You don’t know that,” Nie Huaisang tries, but Jiang Cheng only laughs in his face.

“Please. Not even Wei Wuxian can stand me for longer than a week,” Jiang Cheng says and his mouth twists bitterly when he remembers how Wei Wuxian flees their apartment more often than not lately.

“That’s because he doesn’t know how to properly appreciate you,” Nie Huaisang gives back.

‘There is nothing to appreciate about me’ is already on the tip of Jiang Cheng’s tongue but then he swallows it down.

He’s too tired to have this fight with Nie Huaisang today and so he simply shrugs.

“Just don’t say anything,” Jiang Cheng whispers instead and Nie Huaisang looks about as unhappy as Jiang Cheng feels. “Please,” he adds, when Nie Huaisang doesn’t say anything for the longest time and Nie Huaisang deflates.

“Fine,” he agrees, but he doesn’t seem happy about it at all and Jiang Cheng wonders if this is already enough to break this friendship as well.

He doesn’t know what he’s going to do if it does.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng is not entirely sure how he ends up with Nie Mingjue kissing him, but he figures it must be a dream.

A dream now and a nightmare later, when Nie Mingjue inevitably realizes his mistake and that’s the thought that makes Jiang Cheng push Nie Mingjue away.

“Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue says and he looks at Jiang Cheng with such an intense feeling that Jiang Cheng can feel himself blush, but he still shakes his head.

“No,” he gets out and he hates himself a little bit for how his voice shakes.

“No what?” Nie Mingjue asks, a small frown now on his face and Jiang Cheng gets up from the couch to put some distance between them.

He wants nothing more than to repeat what they just did, but he knows they can’t. Right now there’s still a chance they can somehow salvage this; if they continue then that will be lost as well.

“You’re confused,” Jiang Cheng says and presses his hand to his mouth. “You didn’t mean to do that, I know,” he reassures Nie Mingjue, tries to somehow make this situation more bearable, but he can tell that Nie Mingjue is not convinced by anything he says.

“I’m giving you an out here,” Jiang Cheng hisses when Nie Mingjue tries to reach for him again, and Nie Mingjue shakes his head.

“I don’t want an out, Wanyin,” he says. “I am not confused and I absolutely meant to do that,” Nie Mingjue tells him and Jiang Cheng’s stomach drops.

So it will be like with Lan Xichen; he will be happy for a short while only to lose everything in the end.

“This is the worst decision you have ever made in your life,” Jiang Cheng tells him and he watches as Nie Mingjue’s face falls.

“You’re not a terrible decision, Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue tells him, but Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“Of course I am. I am the worst decision. You should ask Xichen all about it, I bet he has many a thing to say about that.”

“Yes, he does, actually,” Nie Mingjue says, and Jiang Cheng was not prepared for how that hurts. “He warned me that it would be hard,” Nie Mingjue goes on, but before he can even properly finish that sentence, Jiang Cheng scoffs.

“If it’s so hard to love me, why even try? Don’t strain yourself on my account,” he hisses out but Nie Mingjue shakes his head.

“He said it would be hard to make you understand. To make you believe that I love you.”

“Hard enough that he’d rather not have anything to do with that at all,” Jiang Cheng presses out. “Maybe you should take his example and get out while you still can.”

“Wanyin, it didn’t work out between you because sometimes it just doesn’t. It has nothing to do with how lovable you are or if Xichen was willing to put in work. Sometimes it’s just not right.”

“And sometimes I’m just too much trouble.”

“No offense, but I think the most trouble in my life is Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue says with a wry smile and it’s surprising enough of a joke that it startles a laugh out of Jiang Cheng. “You’re welcome to try for second place, though.”

Jiang Cheng understands what Nie Mingjue is doing; he’s subtly letting him know that even though Nie Huaisang is the most trouble in his life, Nie Mingjue still values him above everything, but it’s not the same for Jiang Cheng.

There are blood ties tying Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang together; it would be different with Jiang Cheng.

“Let me love you,” Nie Mingjue says when Jiang Cheng kept silent for too long. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

There are a billion things that can happen but only one worth speaking out loud: “I’m going to lose you and Huaisang when this inevitably ends.”

“And you think that after everything that already happened we can just go back to normal?” Nie Mingjue curiously asks and Jiang Cheng realizes with a sinking feeling that no matter what Nie Mingjue’s answer to that is, his is no.

Nie Mingjue talked about love; Jiang Cheng will not ever forget that and he will not be able to be just friends.

“Then what’s the harm in trying?” Nie Mingjue asks, clearly reading the thought right off Jiang Cheng’s face.

“The harm is that I end up with a broken heart again,” Jiang Cheng hisses, but he sees Nie Mingjue’s logic and his self-preservation instinct isn’t strong enough to simply walk away from this now.

“Maybe you’re going to break my heart,” Nie Mingjue says with a shrug. “Or maybe we end up very happy, all hearts unbroken.”

It’s a nice thought, that, but Jiang Cheng thinks it’s highly unlikely that he should end up that lucky.

But maybe Nie Mingjue is right. Maybe Jiang Cheng should take this chance, even if he does end up unhappy; at least then his pain will have meaning instead of simply breaking everything off now.

“Fine,” Jiang Cheng huffs out after long moments of deliberation but Nie Mingjue shakes his head.

“Fine what? You didn’t yet say how you feel about me,” he says and Jiang Cheng knows him well enough to see the teasing glint in his eyes.

“Fuck you,” Jiang Cheng says with feeling, but then he steps closer to Nie Mingjue. “You know how I feel.”

“Do I?” Nie Mingjue asks, tilting his head in consideration. “It seems to have slipped my mind. You should remind me.”

Nie Mingjue is already 100% more asshole than Lan Xichen ever was and Jiang Cheng has to admit that he’s delighted by that.

“I’m in love with you,” he admits, almost easily with that new revelation, and Nie Mingjue rewards him with a huge smile and a sweet kiss.

Jiang Cheng figures that this is worth it, just for that combination.

(When they pass their one, five, ten year anniversary Nie Mingjue very pointedly does not verbally tell him “I told you so”. He saves that up for the wedding.)

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #the untamed #mdzs #mingcheng #modern au #xicheng break-up #mingcheng endgame #hurt/comfort #love confessions #getting together #first kiss #low self-esteem

193 notes · View notes

chudleycanonficfest · 3 years

Text

Make a Move

Day 9, Story #2 is by @adenei

Title: Make a Move

Author: adenei

Pairing: Frank/Alice Longbottom

Prompt: You did WHAT?!

Rating: T

TW: mild language

**********

Oh, this is bad. This is very, very bad. What have I done?

Frank paces the floor of the seventh-year boy’s dormitory. He’s not even sure what possessed him to do it. Since when has he actually proven himself as a Gryffindor when it comes to the opposite sex? He hasn’t—because he’s always been a blundering imbecile when it comes to women. And today has proven no different.

“Frank, mate, what’s wrong?” Robbie Burke shuts the door to the dormitory behind him.

“I—I asked—ah, don’t make me say it again!” Frank throws his hands in the air as he shakes his head from side to side, his sandy-blond hair falling in front of his eyes as a result.

“Come on, it can’t be that bad,” Robbie urges Frank to confide in him.

Frank takes a deep breath to ground himself as he sits on the bed and covers his face with his hands.

“I asked Alice to the Christmas Ball,” he mutters.

“Bloody hell, that’s brilliant, mate! Good for you!” Robbie claps Frank on the shoulder in celebration but pauses when Frank looks up at him, his caramel eyes wrought with dismay.

“Oh, no, did she say no?” Robbie winces at the premature celebration.

“Not exactly,” Frank huffs.

“But she didn’t say yes?”

“Er…”

“Frank—”

“I ran away before she could answer!” Frank admits his wrongdoing and prepares for the onslaught of profanities that’s about to erupt out of his best friend’s mouth.

“You did WHAT? Bloody buggering hell, mate!”

“I know, I know, I was a coward! But she looked so surprised, and she’s so cool, and I’m so...not, and then I started thinking, ‘why would she ever want to go with me’, and I panicked!”

So much for being a Gryffindor, I can’t even ask a girl out!

Granted, Alice Fortescue wasn’t just any witch. She was popular, kind, easy-going, and always friendly to everyone. Plus, she was the girl you went to if you were looking to smuggle food and Butterbeer from the kitchens.

Frank has been holding a torch for Alice for as long as he can remember. He recalls how she was the first person he locked eyes with after being sorted into Gryffindor, how she beamed up at him and patted the bench for him to sit next to her. That’s the moment that Frank associates as the beginning of their friendship.

Over the years, Frank and Alice’s friendship has grown into a strong bond of the pair looking out for each other. They’ve worked through countless assignments together, where Frank is always happy to help Alice out with Potions. And Alice teaches Frank about a new jinx or hex that’s been created to cause chaos in return since his shyness has often made him an easy target.

It was probably sometime between fourth and fifth year that Alice’s infectious laughter and warm smiles began to stir something deeper within Frank. He’s grown accustomed to their study sessions, and late-night hangouts that include swapping stories of Alice’s experiences in the duelling club and gossip Frank overhears during his weekly Gobstones meetings.

But now, he’s certain he’s ruined their friendship. After a year of wrestling with his feelings and trying to decide whether he should go for it and ask Alice out, he half-asses the invitation and throws their entire amicable relationship down the toilet. How is he supposed to face her for their biweekly revising session? Bloody hell, what’s he going to do if the two of them get accepted into the Auror Academy together? Frank lays his head back on the bed and grabs the pillow so he can smother himself with it.

“Frank, stop, I’m sure it’s not the end of the world.”

“You weren’t there. You didn’t see the look on her face.” His voice is muffled by the pillow, causing Robbie to grab it and pull it away.

“No, I wasn’t, care to describe it for me?”

“Mortification.”

Robbie smacks him with the pillow before tossing it aside. “Gonna need some more details than that.”

“I don’t know. It was clear I took her by surprise. She just stared at me, with her lips parted, but she didn’t say anything. Nora and Melanie were giggling. The last thing I remember seeing was her turning to them, and I used that moment to hoof it on out of there.”

“You are hopeless.”

“Thanks for the pep talk.”

“What do you want me to say? I’ve been trying to convince you to ask her out for ages. I’m telling you, Alice Fortescue has a smile that’s only for you. Never once in seven years has she seemed interested in any other bloke, and she chooses to spend all her extra time with you. Bugger if I know why.”

Frank ponders Robbie’s words but doesn’t allow himself to believe them. Alice is his brave and ballsy friend, the one who takes life by its wings and steers it in the direction she wants. If she fancied him back, why hasn’t she made a move first? And then it hits him.

“Merlin’s pants, Robbie, what if she isn’t into bl—”

A knock on the door cuts him off. Both boy’s heads swivel toward the sound as the knob turns and the door swings open. It’s Alice who peeks her head in. She observes the room and takes note of both seventh-years before she speaks.

“Oh, hi Robbie! I was wondering if I could maybe speak to Frank for a mo’?”

“Hey, Alice. Yeah, sure, I was just, er, leaving.”

Robbie grabs his wand and school bag and slips past her. Frank notices that he pauses to turn back in the doorway to mouth a ‘good luck’ before shutting the door behind him. Standing in front of Frank now, Alice asks,

“Mind if I sit down?”

“N-no, go for it,” Frank stammers. “I—er, sorry about earlier.”

Frank’s not sure why he’s apologizing as Alice sits down. It seems like the right thing to say as he avoids looking at her at all costs. He picks at a nonexistent speck of dirt on his trousers to distract himself.

“You are?”

Frank chances a glance in Alice’s direction and sees her eyebrows both raise and scrunch together in confusion. He’s not sure if he’s imagining it or if there’s actually hurt and disappointment in her eyes.

“Er, yeah. I mean, no? I mean—”

“You took off before I had a chance to answer you.”

Bloody hell, why do women have to be so damn confusing?

Frank has no idea what she’s thinking, and despite being friends since they were eleven, he can’t seem to gauge her feelings at all. At this point, he’s torn between brushing the whole thing off and saying he was extending the invitation as a friend or summoning the last ounce of Gryffindor courage that might be hiding somewhere inside him to go for it and ask her out officially. Instead, he chooses neither.

“Did you come up here to give me an answer, then?”

“Yes.”

Frank waits for Alice to continue, expecting her to give him either a clear yes or no, but she just stares at him, making him feel ten times more awkward.

“Right, so…”

Alice lets out an unbecoming snort. “Frank, you really are slow on the uptake, aren’t you?”

“Huh?”

“My answer to your question is yes. I’d like to go to the Christmas Ball with you.”

“You—you would?”

Now, it’s Frank’s turn to be shocked. Only in his wildest dreams did he expect her to actually say yes!

Alice nods as she smiles before grazing her bottom lip with her teeth. “As a date, right?”

Frank’s heart momentarily stops, and he has to remind himself to breathe. “I—uh—I, y-yeah! I mean, only if you want it to be a—”

“I do,” she responds eagerly. Her knee is bouncing up and down.

He almost doesn’t hear her confirmation as he babbles on, “—because we don’t, not if it would make things—wait, you do?”

Alice chuckles at his nervousness. “Yeah, and you could have saved yourself all the misery that I’m sure you just put yourself through with overthinking if you’d waited for my response.”

Merlin, she knows me so well. “But Nora and Melanie—”

“—were giggling because I’ve been hoping you’d ask me out for ages now.”

If Frank could look into a mirror, he’s sure his facial expression would match the one Alice had given him when he’d first asked the question out in the corridor. So many thoughts were racing through his mind that it was a miracle he was able to form a sentence.

“But then, why didn’t you ever ask me?’

Alice shrugs before leaning in and boldly pressing her lips to Frank’s cheek before whispering into his ear, “because I guess there’s still some old-fashioned methods I put stock in, like the bloke making the first move.”

Frank is frozen. He couldn’t move even if he wanted to while all his dreams were coming true. By the time his brain tells the rest of his body to react to Alice’s gesture, she’s already up and halfway to the door. Before exiting, she turns back and winks at Frank.

“I’ve got to go make some plans with the girls, but I’ll see you in the library at seven, yeah? That Auror entrance exam won’t study for itself, even though I wish it would.”

All Frank can manage is a meager nod as he processes the whirlwind of the last half hour. He is going to the Christmas Ball with Alice. She fancies him. Does that mean she’s his girlfriend now? So many questions flood his mind, but one thing was certain: Frank can’t wait to find the answers.

#chudleycanonficfest2021 #HP fest #hp canon pairings #canon fest romantic #submission #frank x alice #tw: mild language

42 notes · View notes

turtle-steverogers · 3 years

Text

Team Bonding

fr when was the last time i posted like,,, a fic on here. like a tumblr fic. damn. anyway. ummmmmmmm this is just your.... typical steve freaks out and the avengers are awesome um yah ok ok

warnings: panic attack, vomiting (basically steve watches the titanic and doesnt have a very fun time)

word count: 2575

If Steve was being brutally honest with himself, he was fucking tired of hearing about “the classics”. Irrelevant people butting their noses into his business, tipping him off to what movies were, “the best of the best!” and “absolute must sees!” He appreciated what they were trying to do, but after a while, it felt like people were more or less just trying to garner a slice of his 21st century experience, and quite frankly, he liked doing things better by himself. It was much more appealing to park himself in front of his laptop, nothing but his own quietude to keep him company as he combed through different wikipedia rabbit holes and caught up on movies and TV shows that were apparently crucial to his very existence.

Most were subpar and honestly, he preferred the copious amounts of popcorn he treated himself to on these solo date nights, but some things surprised him. Like Indiana Jones. He liked Indiana Jones. He was neat, and Marion reminded him vaguely of Peggy.

Still, he supposed he should have seen it coming when Clint came to collect him from his floor one evening, that sort of eager-puppy energy he carried around with him vaguely prickling the back of Steve’s neck.

“C’mon, man,” he was saying. Steve leaned against the door jamb, tired. He was going to concede, but Clint was rambling and Steve knew better than to interrupt him. “It’s, like, certifiably the best love story ever. You need to watch it--”

And there it was again. That fucking claim. You need to watch this! You haven’t seen that?

No. He hadn’t. He’d been a little busy, you know, being dead.

“--And the acting is all so raw and it’s just-- Leo DiCaprio-- you know who that--”

“--Yes. I saw Blood Diamond--”

“--Oh, you did? Well, anyway, he rocks in this and--”

“Clint,” Steve cut him off smoothly. “I’ll come, don’t sweat it too hard.”

Clint looked positively elated. “You will?” he exclaimed. “Awesome, yeah, it’s gonna be the whole team. I mean, that’s good right? You’re cool with that? You gotta be, you’re the one who mentioned team bonding that one time--”

“Yes,” Steve cut in again. “I’m alright with that. Give me a minute to change, and I’ll be right down?” He was still in his gym clothes from two hours ago. He meant to take a shower, but he’d sort of… ran out of energy. The sweat had cooled by now anyway. He smelled fine.

“Oh! Yeah, no problem.”

Which was how Steve found himself in a pair of sweatpants and an old SHIELD t-shirt, squashed in between Natasha and Bruce on the communal couch. Someone had handed him a huge bowl of popcorn and Steve was pleasantly surprised to find that it was flavored with some sort of cheese powder.

“White cheddar,” Bruce said, holding up a little blue shaker bottle when he heard Steve’s appreciative hum. “They’re, uh, sort of like seasoning, but for popcorn specifically. They come in all different kinds of flavors.”

“Oh, neat,” Steve said, around another handful of popcorn. He liked Bruce. He seemed to get Steve in that quiet, brutally raw sort of way. A quiet kinship. They didn’t talk about it, but he never made him feel condescended, so Steve decided that was okay.

“I think I fixed it!” Tony said, stepping out from behind the ginormous movie screen where, presumably, he’d been fixing a volume problem. The screen had been frozen on the first frame of the movie for nearly ten minutes. “Okay, okay, let’s see…” he pressed play. Music poured through the speakers on either side of the TV, loud enough so that everyone cringed and Steve nearly dropped the popcorn bowl in his haste to cover his ears. He always managed to forget how damn loud the world could be when he let himself get comfortable.

“Sorry, sorry!” Tony hissed, turning the volume down to a much more tolerable level. “Okay, there. Okay, shh everyone. Gotta let Capsicle--”

“--Just Steve, Tony--”

“--Gotta let Just Steve get the full experience.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but settled in to watch.

The film was honestly better than Steve had been expecting, if not a little… itchy in that way period films tended to be for him. The themes of poverty and love were pretty well-rounded, but they hit just close enough that he almost cringed at the far-fetch’d beauty of it.

Still, his fingers itched for a pencil as Jack guided a pencil over the worn sheaf of paper. The dim light, the faint scratch of the pencil, the forbidden love. It was familiar. Steve could almost smell the salty City air, afternoons spent under the dim lights of candles so they could see even with the curtains drawn-- a semblance of privacy amongst the compact vulnerability of his and Bucky’s shitty little tenement.

Draw me like one of your french girls, Rose had said, and Steve’s eyes drifted towards the wall, Bucky’s voice echoing through his head.

“‘Course I want you to draw me. I ain’t denying my vanity, Stevie,” he teased, but his eyes were soft. “Pal, you could draw a stick of butter and I’d still wanna watch. It ain’t about me here.”

There was a soft touch to his arm and Steve blinked out of his reverie. Natasha was watching him, a neutral look on her face that Steve had finally learned to recognize as concern. He shook his head minutely, offering her a smile. She nodded and looked back at the TV.

The rest of the movie passed without much excitement. The acting was pretty good and Steve had even gotten to a point where he could recognize the filmmaking as something like revolutionary for the time it came out. He was quicker on the cultural uptake than people gave him credit for, but that was neither here nor there. He laughed with everyone else, let himself grow somber when the atmosphere lent that mood, and generally, it was a nice time. He hadn’t gone to any movie nights before this, but he thought maybe he’d start going to more.

And then the ship hit the iceberg.

Steve wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting. Obviously, he knew of the Titanic-- he knew, historically, what happened to it. But for some reason, it hadn’t quite hit him while watching the movie that he was going to have to see the catastrophe go down.

There was a loud creaking of ice on metal as the collision occurred on screen and Steve felt himself go still-- body rigid and tense as the deafening noise played through the speakers. His heart slammed in his chest and he felt his palms start to sweat. He knew that sound-- he knew that--

--He blinked, shaking his head. Movie. Watch the movie. There was a panicked scramble on screen. Characters rushing to amend the situation, more metal creaking and groaning and breaking as dark, foamy water broke through the sides of the ship and Steve could taste it, he could taste the water flooding into the cabin, hitting him from the left as it took the plane down in a harsh--

--He twitched, shaking his head. He was being silly. There were moments of reconciliation as the scenes rapidly flashed between water flooding the ships cabins and peaceful moments of civility. A calm before the storm. A final dance before death.

I’m gonna need a raincheck on that dance…

There was a sudden crash as water blasted through into the work quarters and Steve jumped, watching transfixed as unforgiving torrents pushed workers over, flooding them, drowning them, and they were falling, slipping, sliding, panicking as certain death met them at the halfway point, and Steve knew it must be cold. So cold. Suffocating and unforgiving as it flooded their lungs, saltier than they probably imagined, heavy and awful and--

“Stark, turn the movie off.”

The room went abruptly silent. Steve realized his eyes were closed, chest heaving as he sat, hunched over his lap, hands fisted in his hair.

The popcorn wasn’t on his lap anymore. When had he moved? He couldn’t breathe and he was so cold and someone needed to save those guys, someone needed to--

“Steve,” a gentle voice cut into the roaring waves crashing in his head. Bruce. That was Bruce speaking. “Can you hear me, Steve?”

Steve nodded, pulling his hair harder. He couldn’t breathe. Was he drowning again? Surely that was impossible. If Bruce was talking to him, he couldn’t be drowning again, but-- but the water-- and-- and the cold--

“Good, that’s good, Steve,” Bruce. Bruce again. It was Bruce. “Can I touch you?”

Touch. Touch. No touch. He was so cold. He wanted to stop being cold, but he was certain if someone touched him right now, he would lose his goddamn mind. More so than he already had.

“That’s alright,” Bruce sounded steady. Calm. So calm. Why couldn’t Steve calm down? “That’s okay. You think you can do something for me?”

Something… for Bruce? Could he? Could he do anything right then? If he couldn’t breathe, how could he do anything-- and he-- he felt sick--

He opened his mouth to answer and vomited between his feet, straight onto the carpet. Someone in the room hissed sympathetically. Steve wanted to crawl somewhere and die.

“Oh, Steve,” Bruce seemed to be talking mostly to himself, but Steve felt his shoulders climb higher towards his ears. “Okay, Steve, I need you to listen to my voice. Just listen. I’m going to count and you’re going to breathe in time with my instruction, okay? Can you do that for me?”

Steve shook his head, choking on a sob. His chest hurt. Like someone had taken all of his ribs and replaced them with weights, flooding his lungs with-- with water-- and fuck, now he was thinking about the plane again. He felt his breathing tick up higher.

“I want you to try,” Bruce said. “With me. In,” he sucked in a breath. “One… two… three… four…”

Steve tried to suck in a breath, but all he managed to do was send himself into a coughing fit. Bruce kept counting. Steve wanted to tell him to wait-- slow down-- shut up--

He braced a hand over his chest.

Bruce was still counting.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed, but eventually he found himself matching Bruce’s counts, eyes closed and the heels of his palms braced on his temples as he sucked in greedy, measured breaths. His heart was still slamming hard enough to make him tremble and he could smell his own sick wafting up from the ground, but at least he was breathing on his own.

Bruce trailed off. Silence hung thick in the air, the only noise Steve’s slow, shaking breaths. Shame burned around his ears. He didn’t dare look up.

Tony, predictably, was the one to break the silence. “I’m sorry, Steve,” he said, and Steve was surprised to hear honest regret in his voice. “I was the one who suggested we watch Titanic. I should have thought for more than two seconds about that…”

Steve shrugged. Embarrassment climbed from his stomach to his throat, threatening to choke him.

Natasha spoke next. “Why don’t you go wash up?” It was an escape-- a way out-- and Steve took it graciously, keeping his head ducked down as he stood on shaking legs and rushed to the communal bathroom.

Inside, he locked the door and braced himself over the sink, splashing warm water on his face. He drank greedily from the tap. His reflection looked like shit-- he’d burst some blood vessels in his eyes, probably while vomiting, and his skin looked sallow and pale. He was trembling, sweat matting his hair to his forehead. He looked how he looked after a nightmare. This, he supposed, had kind of been like a nightmare. Though, he hadn’t been asleep.

Nightmares, he was finding, weren’t strictly exclusive to the nighttime.

He supposed he’d always known that, though.

He closed his eyes, bowing his head again.

His emotions had been fucked to high hell since waking up from the ice. This hadn’t been the first of those awful… fits, and he was certain it wouldn’t be the last, but to have something like that happen in front of the team was a whole new level of mortifying. Fuck. He’d gotten sick. And he’d left it.

He felt the ceramic counter straining under his grip. Scowling, he let go.

He could slip off to his room, lock himself away until he could find some way to sneak out of the Tower and never talk to any of the others ever again. Even in this state, Steve knew that wasn’t viable in any sense. He sighed. Besides, he couldn’t just damn the others to clean up his mess.

Stowing his pride, he dug some spare mouthwash out from behind the mirror and chugged some straight down, keeping a mouthful and swishing it around before spitting it in the sink. He still felt and looked like shit, but at least his breath would smell like wintergreen.

The others were still gathered in the communal living room, watching what looked like a kid’s cartoon on TV. There was a distinct smell of cleaner in the air and Steve’s eyes landed on the ground where he’d gotten sick. It was clean. He let his eyes drop to the ground, ashamed.

“I’m sorry,” he said. The cartoon paused. He didn’t look at any of them. “I was going to clean up.”

“Nah, man, the only thing worse than freaking out is having to clean up after yourself while you still feel shitty,” Clint said, and Steve looked up. There was no pity in his gaze, only understanding.

“Yeah, we’ve all been there,” Tony said. “Sucks, but hey, least we know now that Titanic is a no-no for you.”

Steve flushed, swallowing a few times. “Um, I guess,” he looked at Bruce. “Thank you.”

Bruce smiled. “No problem,” he said gently. “We’re watching Phineas and Ferb if you’d like to join us, but we understand if you’d like to go rest.”

“Phineas and Ferb?” Steve asked, guilt replaced with genuine confusion.

“Yeah,” Clint said, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth. “It’s my go-to when I have a bad day. Nothing like some good old platypus drama to cure life’s woes.”

Steve blinked. “I genuinely don’t know what to say to that.”

Clint barked out a laugh. “Join us, man! Don’t gotta talk if you’re not feeling it, but being alone after shit like that sucks.”

And Steve hadn’t had someone there for him after a breakdown-- not since the war. Not since Bucky. Every ounce of him wanted to run. Hide. Smooth out his face and slip on that mask of stoicism. But maybe… maybe he didn’t have to. Maybe he could let himself have this, if only this once.

“Sure,” he said, voice a little hoarse. He awkwardly sat back in between Natasha and Bruce.

Tony pressed play again and Steve smoothed his hands over his thighs, feeling out of place and a little cramped and--

Natasha settled, casually letting her feet rest on his lap. On his other side, Bruce leaned into his shoulder, a subtle, grounding pressure. Clint caught his eye and offered him some more popcorn.

Steve relaxed.

Yeah. He could let himself have this.

thanks for reading, chiefs

yeah this was chatted about in one of the awesome discord groups im in so thanks guyysss lol

#marvel shit #marvel #Steve Rogers #marvel fic #steve rogers fic #Avengers #team bonding #yes #avengers fic #i love them all #dlakjfl #ok #crawling back into my hole #im definitely supposed to be doing homework

45 notes · View notes

makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 272: (Directed by Michael Bay)

Previously on BnHA: The My Child Soldiers Academia arc finally started to live up to its name as Tokoyami became the first (but I assure you not the last) victim of traumatic mental scarring courtesy of Horikoshi’s sick games! So he and Dark Shadow showed up to stop Dabi from murdering Hawks and were all “please don’t kill our mentor.” Dabi was all “AH BUT YOUR MENTOR KILLED SOMEONE ELSE, AND ISN’T THAT JUST LIKE THE HEROES THOUGH, THEIR HANDS ARE SO STAINED WITH BLOOD” and then he tried to set both of them on fire several times in succession. Hawks was all “Tokoyami just run away while he’s in the middle of his five-hour sermon” and so they tried but Dabi followed them! But then Geten was all “ALL RIGHT EVERYONE... CHILL” and fucking froze everything for no discernible reason, and Tokoyami fled the building with an unconscious Hawks in tow as the battle raged on. The chapter then ended with Gigantomachia being all “I smell my master!” and standing up, hahaha oh fuck.

Today on BnHA: Well you guys are not going to believe this, but it turns out that Tomura waking up is actually a very bad thing. A “worst case scenario” if you will! Because, get this, he has a quirk that can destroy anything, which spreads from whatever he touches to fucking everything and everywhere else. Gosh, if only we’d known about this since like 35 chapters ago. If only we’d had a spy among the villains who could have warned us, and three entire months to plan our attack, and literally every single hero in Japan on call to help us when the time came. Anyway so you’re really going to be shocked by this I’m telling you, but it turns out that when a crazy powerful person who wants to destroy everything finally wakes up, he immediately starts destroying everything with his crazy power. So X-Less dies and Crust dies and everyone else runs, and meanwhile the kids, who are on the outskirts of the city finishing up the evacuation, stand there in shock as the plot rampages toward them ready to swallow them whole. The chapter ends with Deku powering up to FORTY-FIVE PERCENT YEAHHHHH, and oh shit. Finally we’re doing this.

I am not even remotely done with all the shit I’m supposed to be finishing up, but fuck it, I need a break and reading the new chapter is by far the funnest thing on my current to-do list, so!

OH SNAPS MY BOY HAS FINALLY OPENED HIS EYES

IT ONLY TOOK HIM... OKAY LOOK I’M NOT GOING TO GO BACK AND COUNT ALL OF THE CHAPTERS, BUT LET’S SAY... FIFTEEN. ...HUNDRED. CHAPTERS TO FINALLY SNAP TO IT AND COME JOIN THE PARTY. BUT IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT! PROBABLY. AHH LET’S JUST READ ON

-- ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohm --

[puts on glasses and unfolds map while poring through a mess of scribbles on post-it notes] -- hold up, if my calculations are correct, I’m pretty sure “somewhere a bit further from the hospital” is, in fact, where a certain THREE TROUBLE-PRONE DISASTERS ARE CURRENTLY HOLED UP. AHHH

can it really be true. are we finally rejoining our protagonist and his buddy cop friends after 97 years. how will everyone react to Deku reacting to Tomura waking up ahhhh

so Burnin’ is yelling at the civilians to let them know if they have any family or friends who need assistance evacuating

god I hate the fact that this is a fucking understatement

they’re not taking any chances after Kamino and Fukuoka huh. fool them once, shame on you. fool them twice, oh shit. but there will not be a third time! no one fucking destroys three cities in the span of six months on their watch, no sirree

(ETA: ...)

lol the kids are trying to get the elderly citizens on a bus to evacuate, but a lady is trying to give them candy and Kacchan and Ochako are of two different minds on whether or not to accept

Kacchan is absolutely right about Ochako’s motivations, but in her defense, who the fuck turns down free chocolate

IIDA!!

FUCKING CHRIST JAPAN IT’S 200 YEARS IN THE FUTURE AND YOU STILL HAVEN’T SWITCHED TO DIGITAL RECORD-KEEPING? WHY IS THIS THE MOST REALISTIC THING IN THE ENTIRE MANGA TO DATE. MY GOOD SIR, IIDA IS LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH, ALL RECORDS AND BUILDINGS ABSOLUTELY CAN AND WILL BE COMPLETELY OBLITERATED IN THE CARNAGE TO COME. I’M SORRY TO BE THE ONE TO INFORM YOU OF THIS, BUT DAMN IT SOMEONE HAS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

(ETA: I sure hope these poor bastards had good insurance.)

also. this man here who looks like Beaker from the Muppets, who presumably has the power of Doing Anything Those Wacky Flailing Inflatable Tube Men That You See Outside Of Car Dealerships Can Do. ...yes. that’s it. that’s an intentionally incomplete sentence with a subject but no predicate. I just feel like we should all sit and stare at him for a good thirty more seconds before continuing on with our lives

OH MY GOD

THEY’RE EVACUATING THE PETS TOO AHHHH. EXCUSE ME CERTAIN SOMEONES WHO THINK ALL HEROES ARE “DIRTY.” I SEE YOUR ARGUMENTS AND RAISE YOU THIS ONE SINGLE PANEL. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT. NOW WHAT DABI. AT A LOSS FOR WORDS I SEE. YOU JUST SIT AND PONDER THAT FOR A WHILE

is... this... a space shuttle man

is this literally just a man with a Boeing for a head. FUCKING QUIRKS THOUGH!!!!! ~*~wild~*~

OH MY GOD AND WE’RE BACK

time for some HORCRUX SHENANIGANS!! IS YOUR LIGHTNING BOLT SCAR BURNING DEKU. I CAN’T BELIEVE HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED IS BACK AHHHH

so now he’s slightly hunching forward with his hands pressed together and Todoroki is immediately sensing that something is wrong ahhhhh

(ETA from like 5 days later: I had that as “Tokoyami” instead of “Todoroki” for the better part of a solid week you guys. SHOUTO YOU WERE GONE FOR SO LONG I FORGOT YOUR FUCKING NAME whoop.)

here come dat angst. here comes Horikoshi’s hand beckoning the trio closer and welcoming them to the pain parade ahhh. from now on that’s how I’m ending all my sentences btw. it just seems right. ahhh

OH MY LORD OH MY

ladies and gentlemen, YOU WERE SAYING DEKU DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT LATELY? HE’S NOT INTERESTING ENOUGH AS A PROTAGONIST, IS HE? well maybe that’s because Horikoshi has been saving this one juiciest of plot nuggets for a rainy day precisely like this! BRING ON THAT CHOSEN ONE ANGST AHHHHH

anyway so yes it is indeed OFA speaking to him in the form of Lil Bro a.k.a. the first user

lol I’m trying to think of commentary but it’s difficult seeing as I’M ALREADY SCROLLING DOWN TO IMPATIENTLY READ THE NEXT PAGE

lmao the fuck

okay Princess Zelda. can you get any more flowery with those descriptions though. A TRANSCENDENT BEING. A SUPERLATIVE ENTITY. A SUBLIME, PREEMINENT ORGANISM. FREED FROM ITS SHACKLES. UNFETTERED BY ALL EARTHLY LIMITATIONS

OH MY GOD

it absolutely boggles my mind that this guy is somehow still alive. ??! how many chapters and panels has it been now. he’s like the goat in the t-rex pen in fucking Jurassic Park. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET EATEN ALREADY

...

do you... want a blanket. ...?

(ETA: do you ever just. wake up and you’re like “ah shit it’s cold”, and then you destroy an entire city. mm.)

do you all suppose X-Less is fully aware that he’s about to die though? he hasn’t even moved. I imagine that sitting next to Tomura actually is much like sitting next to a giant t-rex. like he has to know there is no getting out of this alive. poor guy

damn Mic isn’t even looking back he’s just running back into the main room where all the rest of them are

wow this fight is still going on

I don’t know why, I just expected it to all magically be over all of a sudden now that we have bigger things to worry about. do you guys remember when we were all worried about the High End Noumus being the biggest threat. hahahahaha

(ETA: moment of silence for ALL OF THE FUCKING HIGH ENDS lmao. that did not go how I expected that plotline to go AT ALL, but at least we got the best fucking battle in the entire manga out of it.)

jesus CHRIST ENOUGH WITH THIS

WE GET IT TOMURA IS DANGEROUS AND SCARY AND EVIL AND AWAKE!!! JUST PLEASE GET TO IT ALREADY GOD I’M BEGGING YOU

FINALLY

goddammit. my reaction to this should have been much more “!!!” and “OH SHIT”, but he dragged it out so much that my initial reaction was one more of relief than horror. maybe it’s because of the way I read the chapters, constantly pausing to do commentary as I go along, but whenever a chapter has a ton of panels of people just staring into the distance awash with dread, it really stands out to me lol. there’s only so much I can write about that kind of thing. ah well at least we’re finally getting to the action

I genuinely can’t tell if Ujiko is frightened that he’s about to be disintegrated by Tomura’s quirk, or excited that Tomura is awake

maybe both lol. well don’t worry you’re not gonna die that easily, much as you would not catch me complaining if you did

thanks Gran

lol where was all this speed throughout the rest of this arc though. “we’re only competent when the plot necessitates it” huh. is that right

oh shit it’s destroying the rest of the lab

those are all of Ujiko’s collected quirks, right? someone please tell me if this is a good or a bad thing. on the one hand if they’re all destroyed it means Tomura can’t get them and Ujiko can’t make any more Noumus. but on the other hand this means they won’t ever be able to give them back to the original users (if any of them are even still alive). and also that’s a lot of evidence that’s being wiped out as well

oh shit they didn’t know about this?!

even after Deika City, you didn’t put two and two together?? even with all of Hawk’s intel?? what the hell did you think happened there?

well this explains why everyone was so la-dee-da-no-rush about capturing him though. well that’s on you guys. next time maybe don’t waste 20 minutes uselessly battling redshirt Noumus while Mirko has to do everything herself

anyway so I feel like people other than X-Less are almost certainly going to die here, and fuck. I’m not ready for any of this

AHH THE KIDS

BIT SLOW ON THE UPTAKE THERE KACCHAN LOL. FOR A MOMENT YOU HAD ME WORRIED THERE WAS SOMEHOW A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THREAT APPROACHING FROM THE OTHER SIDE, BEFORE YOU TURNED AROUND TO LOOK WHERE THE OTHERS WERE LOOKING

ALSO JUST A FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT SHOUTO’S DAD IS IN THAT HOSPITAL, ALONG WITH THEIR TEACHER! HERE. COME. DAT. ANGST

LOOK AT THIS CONSPICUOUSLY INTACT BUILDING AS IT STANDS THERE ALL OMINOUSLY WITH THE NEARBY BIRDS AND CRITTERS FRANTICALLY FLYING AWAY

I want to see it crumble so bad. now this is the kind of foreboding cinematic disaster movie bullshit I can get into

FFFF WHY IS THIS PANEL SO HARD TO SEE

THERE’S TOO MUCH CHAOS AND TOO MANY PEOPLE LOST AMIDST ALL THESE SHATTERING AND FALLING TUBES, BUT I NEED TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE IS SAFE AHHH

...okay so I see Ryuukyuu in the top right, and I think that’s RockLockRock on her back. Thirteen is clearly there in the bottom center, but I don’t know who that is next to them. and then of course Gran and Mic on the left. and a bunch of others spread out in various other places, but... where the hell is Aizawa??

OH THANK GOD

FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI, I KNOW FULL WELL YOU’RE NOT JUST GOING TO KILL OFF THE WORLD’S PREEMINENT DAD STRAIGHT UP OUT OF THE BLUE HERE, AND YET I STILL FELT ANXIETY AT THIS LAST PANEL. HOW DID YOU EVEN

BITCH YOU BETTER LET THE FUCK GO BEFORE I --

!!!

oh my god I gasped in real life. stop making me fear for the lives of main characters!!

he. he --. crust. he. ...

I literally stopped reading and had to stop and cover my mouth with both of my hands I’m

silence. no screaming. no flailing. no freaking out. just silence

shit. rest in peace you old sedimentary bastard. respect to you for saving the father of my children in your last fleeting moments. I still have not the slightest idea how you rose through the ranks to somehow become the sixth fucking highest rated hero (HERO BILLBOARD CHART, IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT. ARE YOU FEELING OKAY), but you sure did go out with style though

also this may be tacky of me to point out during such an emotionally charged moment, but one second Aizawa is wearing his goggles like normal, and the next they’re suddenly pushed up onto his forehead so we can see the anguish in his bloodshot eyes. there was no reason to do that other than angst and we all know it. so yes Shouta you dramatic bitch, I am calling you out. why Horikoshi felt he had to add to your many accumulated traumas is beyond me. you don’t deserve this and I am so, so sorry

OH GOOD I WAS JUST ABOUT TO ASK WHERE THE FUCK ENDEAVOR WAS

seeing as we just went over this with Gran, I will take the high road here and won’t ask why you’re only this fast now and couldn’t have been this useful this ages ago back before Tomura woke up. oh wait does sarcastically saying I won’t bring it up count as bringing it up. well whatever. middle road, then

sob I’m getting flashbacks to the end of Return of the Jedi when they’re all frantically flying out of the Death Star as it explodes

friendly reminder that Ryuukyuu, clearly the fastest one here despite carrying like 20 people, was number 10 in the rankings for some unknown reason. again, r.i.p. Crust you well-meaning geriatric soul

also just a stray thought, I hope it’s clear now why it was so important to give Deku those additional quirks. at a minimum he needs Blackwhip and Float just so he doesn’t instantly die the moment he’s in Tomura’s general vicinity. sob I’ve joked so much about flying quirks and here they are becoming fucking prerequisites now

anyway so Ujiko is mourning the loss of his lab, which again, good riddance mostly. but r.i.p. that evidence though

(ETA: nah the “total loss” part is referring to how the heroes fucked up so soundly and thoroughly. anyway no one would blame Mic if he accidentally dropped Ujiko in the midst of all this chaos, I’m just saying. I guess they need any intel he could still provide now more than ever though.)

OH MY GOD!!

LAUNDRY HERO WASH?! THIS SUDSY BOI CAN ACTUALLY KICK ASS WHAAAAT

oh my god oh my god it’s still spreading??!

fuck fuck fuck at this rate it’ll reach the kids

(ETA: that happened really fast actually.)

-- oh FUCK NO you had better NOT FUCKING TOUCH FUCKING PIXIE BOB, I WILL MAIL MYSELF TO JAPAN PANDEMIC OR NO PANDEMIC. DO YOU NOT SEE THE SIGN THAT SAYS “OFF-LIMITS.” RESPECT THE SIGN

SOB SHE’S SO BADASS BUT IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S STILL DISINTEGRATING FUCCCCCK. FUCK MY LIFE, FUCK EVERYTHING

AHHHHH

I can’t tell if her earthbending was able to stop it or not?? god help us all if it didn’t, I’m not even sure what else could stop it at this point

SHUT UP UJIKO!!

they really did. only to fuck it up completely at the finish line. well, the man most singularly responsible for it is dead now, again r.i.p. Crust you useless old legend

lmao despite myself

“by a miracle, or maybe through sheer will” even he acknowledges that Tomura waking up was basically complete bullshit. yes blah blah yadda yadda got zapped by some exposed wires explanation science. because we all know that getting electrocuted will fix you right up when your heart has stopped and you have completely flatlined. you can definitely trust Horikoshi on this and there’s absolutely no need to google how defibrillators actually work

also is he somehow wearing a cape now. again by a miracle or maybe through sheer will

YESSSSSSS

(ETA: one has to wonder what Ujiko’s plan was, assuming this scheme had actually played out. were they just banking on Tomura not waking up cranky and disoriented and wanting to test out his power. his quirk doesn’t exactly distinguish friend from foe here I’m just saying.)

the part of me that goes all “ooh ahh” when all the buildings explode in Independence Day is singing inside. but never fear, the rest of me is appropriately horrified though. what was that Burnin’ was saying about the city becoming a large-scale battle zone? sob

also this page sure serves as a nice refresher for exactly why Tomura Waking Up Was Bad, which was inexplicably a topic of some debate in recent weeks. yes in spite of everything the villains are still the bad guys who’d have thought. almost as if the purpose of humanizing a character is to show that they’re human, not that they’re right

WHAT’S THIS NOW???

WELL I’LL BE. IT’S BEEN AN EVENTFUL THREE MONTHS, APPARENTLY!??

HOOAHHHHHHHH

IT’S A BIRD IT’S A PLANE IT’S A BADASS OH SHIIIIITTTTTT

finally finally finally!!!!!!

THE SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN, REPEAT, THE SHIT HAS HIT THE PROVERBIAL FAN. THE PLOT IS FINALLY HAPPENING, REPEAT, THE PLOT IS FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENING AHHHHHH

and there is no one coming to save them this time. no one to arrive at the last second and say “it’s all right now because I am here.” they have to save themselves. they have to save everyone. the training wheels are finally coming off. the safety net has been removed. after 272 chapters, the story has finally reached a point where these kids, these children, who in spite of all they’ve been through have been protected and shielded from the worst of it up till now, will finally have to be the ones to save the day all on their own

and they are not ready. but also maybe they kind of are??! but they definitely are not. and oh god oh god oh god, FINALLY WE’RE REALLY DOING THIS. TIME TO FIX THE MESS THOSE SILLY GROWN-UPS MADE, CHILDREN. YOU GOT THIS

#bnha 272 #shigaraki tomura #midoriya izuku #aizawa shouta #ujiko daruma #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #if the next few chapters don't feature some kind of avengers-style epic team up pose I will sue #what has this all even been building up to if not that #remember that the kids are not allowed to die though horikoshi #remember what we agreed upon #you remember right #right #horikoshi???

322 notes · View notes

freddieofhearts · 3 years

Text

Bye bye, dears (for now!)

I know there have been a lot of rumours and some posts about me leaving, so here I am to set the record straight and say a quick ‘au revoir’. This post is long, and I don’t expect everyone to read the whole thing—if you just want information on how to keep in touch, or about access to my removed fics, scroll to the bottom. ⬇️

Why are you leaving?

Firstly, of course I’m not leaving Freddie. This is just an ongoing hiatus from the social side of fandom, because while I have some incredible friends here, who have done all they can to support me and have made this experience wonderful in lots of ways—it’s also true that the social space has become more and more toxic for me.

I get a wild amount of hate. Despite never having my ask box enabled on here, people create new accounts just to message me and tell me all the problems in this fandom are my fault, that I’m faking being sick, that I should kill myself, that I’m fat, etc. I also very regularly get hateful comments on AO3.

Obviously I realise that I’m not the only one who receives these cruel attacks, but it’s become increasingly hard to handle them—especially as some people (‘real’ accounts, not faceless anons) do continue to blame me for wider problems in the fandom. It makes me feel consistently sad, anxious, and paranoid, so that I can’t focus on anything Queen-related that I enjoy.

More pressingly, it’s affected my mental health, which is—imperfect at the best of times. As I’ve occasionally alluded to in older posts on this blog, I have a history of anorexia, OCD, PTSD, and some other overlapping issues. Most people who know me in the fandom are also aware that I’m ‘clinically extremely vulnerable’ to Covid-19, significantly immunocompromised, and have been isolating at home for eleven months.

The combination of all of these things + the constant toxic messages has really been triggering me, and leading to an uptick in disordered behaviours, which my body cannot sustain. Every new instance of hate from an anon—every time there’s another indication of groups in the fandom wanting to ostracise me further—my reaction is deeply self-punitive and unhealthy. Ultimately I need to be out of this environment for, at least, a protracted period. My therapist, my partner and my close friends in the fandom support this decision.

So, what went wrong?

In 2019, I expected to be an absolutely tiny blog in the Queen Tumblr landscape. The fandom was already well-established, and I have never worked to ‘build a following’ on here—I think I’ve linked my own fic a maximum of three or four times!—in fact, more or less the opposite. As I mentioned above: ya girl is nutty as a fruitcake. As a result, I often avoid extremely niche things in daily life which cause severe anxiety for me, Relevant examples here: I never look at my timeline. I never intentionally look at my follower number. Yup, it’s strange, I fully admit it, but it’s best for me to go with these things—usually. In Queen fandom, however, this avoidance both of analytic stats and of most direct engagement led to some problems... My followers grew without me realising, and way more people were reading my blog than I was aware of. I was still in a—“Wow, this fandom is very frustrating, and rife with ableism, racism, etc., so how do we fix this???”—mindset, and I wanted to share my opinions, sure! but I also thought I was sharing them with 15-20 like-minded people.

Now, intent is not impact, and I recognise that I was brusque, didn’t phrase things particularly sensitively, and absolutely did hurt some people by criticising the fandom so freely. I still regret this—and I regret just as much the fact that some assholes have used my criticising the fandom on my own blog as implicit justification for attacking authors. I have said on here many times that I don’t condone that behaviour—but I also think there’s some truth in the presumption that these anonymous malcontents felt my critiques somehow ‘permitted’ them to engage in abuse. For the first few months, though, I genuinely had no idea there was a link at all—and so I was initially slow to condemn this abusive behaviour in public, because I was taking it for granted all authors agreed it was shitty. It took someone directly telling me (shoutout to @a-froger-epic) that people had identified a connection between my posts and the anons, before everything fell into place.

I would like to offer my apologies to the fandom at large for not being more quick on the uptake about this, because I feel that had I realised sooner that these people were taking ‘inspiration’ in some way from me, it might have been easier to put a stop to it. It does seem that there is still a lot of confusion about whether I support them and which of their views I agree with. Let’s be 100% clear on this: I do not support the anonymous commenters on AO3. At times there is some, limited overlap between parts of their views and parts of mine, but even that is less than you may think—I often see anonymous comments from so-called ‘Freddie fans’ that I substantially disagree with.

Perhaps even more importantly: I do not support anyone who sends anonymous hate on Tumblr.

What’s all this about ‘overlap’ with the anons?

Let’s do a mini-summary of the myths vs. the truth. There are views I hold which are genuinely unpopular in the fandom—but which I own up to completely, and have never tried to hide in any way. I’ve never needed to use anonymous to share my opinions because I’m completely open about them! What people who don’t know me tend to have ‘heard’ about me, though, is usually a drastic distortion of my real opinions.

What people think I think:

- Freddie should never top.

- It’s okay to send anon hate if someone writes Freddie ‘wrong’.

- It’s more important to correct ‘wrong’ portrayals than to respect other writers.

- It’s inherently wrong to be more interested in band pairings than canon pairings.

- Freddie should be overtly written as a r*pe survivor/victim (and not doing this is wrong).

- Freddie should be overtly written as having an eating disorder (and not doing this is wrong).

- Kink fics are wrong.

What I actually think:

- I believe Freddie did have a strongly defined sexual identity with marked preferences, but I don’t think Jim Hutton lied when he said that Freddie topped. I believe Freddie did top, but this isn’t the time or place to get into my thoughts on why/when/how much. I do believe that my analysis of the sources relevant to this subject is as historically accurate as one can reasonably be in matters of sex (where historical accuracy will always be particularly limited and imperfect)—but I don’t think it’s morally wrong to write Freddie as topping more than he probably did.

- I don’t believe there’s only one ‘right’ version of Freddie (all others being ‘wrong’). I do believe it is possible to be more right or less right—but I’m also conscious of the fact that this scale of value is not one by which everyone measures fanfiction. As a result, then, I don’t think that any perceptions surrounding ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ justify sending anonymous, non-constructive criticism, or outright hate.

- I do believe constructive criticism is a good thing. I welcome and appreciate it myself; I have received it on my fics in Queen fandom, and it has made them better. I have been in writing workshops which included very forceful criticisms, and the value of such feedback has been intimately and immediately part of my life as a writer for years. However: in this case, I have accepted that my opinion differs from the general community preference, and so I no longer offer any constructive criticism (outside private beta-reading). I haven’t changed my view, but I’ve changed my practice to align with community norms.

- I do not think any single, individual writer has a personal responsibility to write about Freddie Mercury in any given way. That ranges from including the more distressing topics to which I’ve devoted attention (such as trauma)—to concentrating on ‘canon’ pairings like Jimercury—to, even, focusing on Freddie at all.

“Now, that doesn’t sound like you, @freddieofhearts,” you might be thinking. And I know it doesn’t; I think something I’ve done a poor job of articulating is the difference between how I view each individual fan—namely, as free to shape their creative experience at will, even in ways that I might find distressing or offensive; even in ways that you might find distressing or offensive—and the way I view the Collective. I think people have interpreted some of my critiques of ‘Queen Fandom’ as meaning something like: “You-in-particular, a specific Queen fan, are doing it wrong and should change everything about how you do it; also you don’t really care about Freddie.”

And—that’s not it. What any given fan, as an individual, does, isn’t a problem. And that can be true alongside—concurrently with—a multivalent critique of how the fandom is lacking in representation of Freddie’s life, with all that that (wonderful, deservedly celebrated, but also profoundly traumatic) life entailed. I still hold that view; I still have myriad problems with ‘the fandom’ (structurally, collectively, historically and presently—from the 1990s to the 2020s). Some of what I want to work on (away from the social life of fandom) is expressing those critiques with greater nuance, in ways that can’t be misinterpreted as shading any particular fanfiction author or subgenre of story.

In brief: I haven’t changed my mind, but I think Tumblr is an untenable environment in which to discuss the things I want to analyse, especially as there is an ever-present danger of hurting someone.

Can we keep in touch? Where is the fic?

I will drop by this account periodically to check out posts that friends have sent me, so you can always sent me a private message to ask for my contact details on the other app that I’m using now for fandom friends. Multiple Freddie conversations and projects are going on over there, off-Tumblr, with a much ‘gentler’ environment and no bad actors—I personally love it!

All my fic has been downloaded and saved. I don’t want to deal with constant harassment on AO3, but I’m happy to share a copy with anyone who missed it and wants to read/re-read something. I also saved everyone’s lovely comments and thoughtful con-crit, so none of that has been lost or erased.

Thank you to everyone who welcomed me to the fandom, made me think, taught me, shared with me, sent me into fits of the giggles, collaborated with me creatively, and otherwise made this one hell of a ride! Love you all. ❤️

#au revoir my dears #lil gay bby

27 notes · View notes

fever-dreamer97 · 3 years

Text

Let’s Try This Again

Chapter 3: Pride Can Make Regret

—————————————————————————

"Damnit! I never got to finish! Do you think Aizawa-sensei might give us some free time in homeroom?" Denki whined at Hanta while Mina kept her eyes on her phone, her thumbs rapidly texting non-stop.

"Dude, just jump into that grave already..." Eijirou says, leaning forward around Hanta to talk with Denki.

Eventually, the group left the coffee shop and is now walking side-by-side up the pathway to their school's entrance. The majority of them didn't notice Katsuki's change of behavior when he returned with his coffee. They assumed he was probably annoyed and pissed off with their romance discussion and criticizing his love life that he didn't want to fool with them anymore.

Now, Kirishima Eijirou wasn't the smartest guy in the world. His grades were okay at best, and he is a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to reading the room. But Eijirou knew Katsuki the best. After all, the guy was like a brother to him.

He has seen Katsuki through his best and his worst in just this last year, likewise for Katsuki witnessing his moments. As a man, he must make sure his friends are okay. So while the group chatted mindlessly, Eijirou tries to keep a close eye on Katsuki.

But although he is worried about him, Eijirou doesn't want to pry and make Katsuki shut down even more than he already has. All he could do right now is just let Katsuki come to him...which for all Eijirou knows, could take three months. Thank goodness when it comes to either one of his friends, Eijirou has a patience level that a saint could envy.

The gang finally makes their way through the front doors and split off to their lockers. Eijirou and Katsuki are only a couple of doors down from each other, so he jumps at the one-on-one opportunity to talk with his best friend.

"Oi, Bakugo. If you need to talk or anything, just let me know, bro," He says as the both of them open their lockers. He watches Katsuki tense up before he puts on a scowl.

"Hah? What the hell are you talking about, dumbass?" He snaps.

"Just wanted to offer. You seem a bit...unhinged since the shop."

"...Shut up," Katsuki says. He takes off his outdoor shoes and puts them inside his locker before slamming it shut with more force than needed. He then drops his indoor shoes to the ground and slips them on his feet. He still keeps his gaze on the floor as he walks away and leaves Eijirou behind.

Eijirou half-heartedly sighs before he switches out his shoes and follows suit behind Bakugo. All he could do is throw the line and hope the fish takes the bait at this point.

——————————————————————————

Here's the one thing about Class 2-A: They are closer than just high school students who happen to be in the same class. Each of them has a special bond in one way or another. All of the guys get along with each other, and all of the girls see each other as sisters. They never really have any ill-will or tension in this tight-knit class.

Well, except there was their classmate, Mineta Minoru. He kept harassing and being disrespectful to the girls in the class by making sexist or perverted comments and trying to peek up their skirts when he had the chance. Due to that, he wasn't very popular with the rest of the class. But otherwise, the class were very caring of each other.

"Attention everyone! Homeroom will start in five minutes! Be sure to have all of your materials ready and finish all discussions as quickly as possible!" announced class president Iida Tenya as he stood with authority at the front of the class at the teacher's podium, doing his signature air hand-chops.

Everyone doesn't pay mind to his declaration and carry-ons with their conversations.

Katsuki feels a stab of irritation at Four-Eye's loud nagging but doesn't yell back. He just wants to get this school day over with and go home. Thank fuck that he has gym today because he gravely needs to let off some steam. Hopefully, he gets to work with the heavy bag today, so when he pummels it, he can imagine it being that pathetic shitstain. Fucking bastard can burn in hell.

"Hai, hai, Tenya-Kun. Be sure to do so as well." Round Face fondly says as she sits with her friends, Asui and Tooru, and they all giggled at the president's overdramatic antics. Katsuki's sneer grows darker at her words and affectionate tone.

Ochako and Tenya have been dating around the start of last fall, and the two are still in their honeymoon phase. Katsuki gets disgusted by their displays on a regular daily basis. They weren't that extreme due to Tenya's mindset of 'keeping inappropriate conduct outside of the classroom.'

Instead, they were those subtle, little quips like nicknames for each other, playing with each other's hair when they thought no one was looking, or holding hands underneath tables. For some reason, Katsuki's gut burned when he would see them doing these types of things. Why? He doesn't know. He just hated it. So when it happens, he makes a point to call them out on it. But right now, he just wanted to be left alone.

"ALRIGHT! CLASS WILL NOW START! EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEATS!" Tenya yells from the front of the class.

"Dude, we've been over this since last year. You're the only one still standing..." Hanta comments. Most of the class nods in agreement, each of them in their assigned seat.

Tenya tenses up and curses under his breath before he rushes back to his desk. He mutters under his breath, feeling slightly embarrassed at his overzealous display.

Katsuki hears Ochako laughs with a softness that makes his insides clench together. He watches from the corner of his eye over at her and Four-Eyes as she reaches up from her desk to rub at his back. Tenya relaxes under her touch and softly smiles before she takes her hand back and sits down at her desk again.

Damnit, why the fuck does that one moment make Katsuki want to punch the fucking wall in? How in the hell can someone get joy from that? It was just a fucking touch on the back. Tch, whatever.

Just then, the classroom doors open up, and there walks in a man with long black hair, slight stubble, and irritated eyes. "Good morning..." he lazily drawls, making his way to his podium. "Good morning, Aizawa-sensei!" Most of the class chimes out.

"Ah, good. It took you no time at all to shut up. Now, stay that way for roll call."

At that, Katsuki moves his gaze to look outside of the window next to his desk and immediately thinks back again from this morning and that pathetic, greasy weasel.

Back when we were nine, he told some girl to go off herself and you know what? She disappeared the very next day! Weird, right?

Maybe she actually went and did what he said? It wouldn't surprise me, I mean he did bully and beat her up every single day...

Maybe you should do all of us a favor and make it permanent. Just head on up to the roof and take that one-step shortcut. It would help all of us if you just didn't exist!

Katsuki just keeps his gaze on the blowing trees outside of the window.

—————————————————————————

Deku was true to her word. Her desk was empty and nobody batted an eye at her absence. They all just chatted among themselves about random topics like last's night homework, movies, video games, and other things. Katsuki didn't pay mind to any of it, even with his lackeys chirping around him like birds.

Damn that Deku. How dare she talked back to him like that yesterday? Once she's back tomorrow, he'll have to strengthen her back out again. She'll know better than to look down on him.

But then out of nowhere, a group of girls walks up to his desk. "Neh, Bakugo-san, is it true what you said to Deku yesterday?" one of them asks.

A chill went down his spine at the question, but he plays it off as cool. "Yeah, so what? Not like she doesn't deserve it. That loser should have never existed in the first place. I just gave her some friendly advice."

Why did it feel like knives digging into his skin with every word he says? The girls slightly gasped before they mutter among themselves. Katsuki's lackeys tense up with the topic before they laugh uncomfortably at their leader's words.

"When she comes back tomorrow, she'll know where her place is again, Katsuki." One of them states. Katsuki smirks. "I know that, you idiot. No one talks back to me and gets away with it. Especially that pathetic, useless Deku!" He laughs. The group of girls giggles before they take their leave.

"Alright! Time to sit down and be quiet!" The teacher suddenly yells.

All of the nine-year-olds get into their seats as roll call was taken. Katsuki just taps his fingers impatiently at the monotone voice. Soon enough, the roll call was finished. But before they started their school day, the teacher looked slightly gloomy and said that he had an announcement to make.

"Eh...I don't know if any of you already know this, but as of today, Midoriya-san will no longer be a classmate of ours."

Katsuki's heart stops at the words. His now wide eyes snap to the teacher in disbelief. What did he just say? Some slightly gasp in disbelief as well over the news.

"It seems that...well, actually I'm not at liberty to say why she is no longer here, but just wanted to let you know in case some of you were fond of her. Very sad, but she will be missed. Okay, now get out your workbooks and turn to page 34."

At those words, Katsuki just felt colder and colder with how he phrased the explanation. Not at liberty to say could mean something too dire for a child to know...oh God, no. Katsuki's heart beats faster and faster at the thought.

Around him, his classmates appear to have the same line of thought as they whisper among themselves and frantically looking over at him.

"Do you think she-“

"She might have!"

"I mean, he did tell her, right?"

"I heard him tell her to do it!”

"Whoa, Katsuki killed Izumi."

That last statement shattered something inside him and Katsuki could no longer think or act clearly.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S GONE?! WHERE DID SHE GO?!" He screams before getting up and slamming his hands down on the desk.

The teacher was taken back by this display and quickly melts into an expression of anger.

"Mr. Bakugo, you calm down this minute before I send you to the principal's office. Do not ever raise your voice at me in my classroom." He reprimands.

Katsuki clicks his tongue before pressing him more. "Why is she gone? Huh? Where did that loser go?"

The teacher just sighs before giving him a downcast look. "I understand that you're upset about your friend, but let's not speak ill-will towards her okay? As her reasoning, I already told you. I'm not at liberty to say. And to be honest, it's probably best for you if you don't know why."

"But-"

"Mr. Bakugo! Don't make this harder on yourself. Sit down!"

Katsuki just drops back into the chair and burns his desk with his stare.

There's just no way. There's just no way. There's just no way. Tears slightly burn into the back of his eyes. No, no, no. The judgemental stares of the class drill into Katsuki as the whispers continue around him.

"Mr. Bakugo? Do you need to go to the bathroom and collect yourself?" The teacher offers.

Katsuki doesn't answer but keeps his eyes, now dripping with tears, on the desk.

"Mr. Bakugo? Mr. Bakugo? Bakugo? Bakugo..."

———————————————————————

"BAKUGO!"

Katsuki snaps back to the present at Aizawa's rare loud voice. He looks away from the window to see everyone staring confusedly at him and Aizawa looking irritated.

"Welcome back. When I say your name, answer me. I don't get paid to watch you daydream."

Katsuki blinks before his cheeks turn slightly red at the embarrassment.

"Tch. Whatever."

Aizawa rolls his eyes and continues the rest of the roll call without any more issues. Katsuki bits his lip as he tries to will his embarrassment down.

"Psst!" He suddenly hears.

He looks over to the noise, which came from none other than Shitty Hair. He gives a look to Katsuki that says 'let's talk at lunch.'

Katsuki grits his teeth but doesn't stop his rough nod at Eijirou. He needs to talk to somebody about this before he runs headfirst into a brick wall.

Now, he's praying that the heavy bag will be up for grabs today.

39 notes · View notes

wizardessheart-sideb · 3 years

Photo

When my alarm went off, I was tired, but excited. That weird shaky feeling that comes from too little sleep mingled with excitement as I pulled on the Night Class uniform and got ready for my day. And it didn’t go away as I made my way to classes. Sure, it’d gone away for a little bit when I met my other suite mates, Aika and Dorian, but as soon as I stepped out of our suite, it came back. As I got to campus, I read my class info off my inanimate Acceptance Letter. Room 3-A… Here it is!

I opened the door to see most everyone was already there. And with good reason. The late bell rang and I flung myself into a seat between a boy with purple hair and a girl with bright green curls. At the front of the classroom there were four people. One was a guy a bit older than me with striking blue hair. Maybe one of the Prefects? Beside him were a woman and two girls that looked my age. The girl with curly brown hair and haphazardly-worn uniform looked older, but the one with silver pigtails looked younger. Unlike the other girl, her uniform was in perfect order. The bell rang and the guy started clapped his hands.

“All right, listen up,” he announced. “Today we’re having a guest lecturer and I expect all of you to behave. You’ll be having this special class instead of our usual homeroom for the next couple weeks since you’re all giving Rex and me trouble. Behave.” So that’s Prefect Nox. He gave us a stern look before leaving. The woman just laughed and gave us all a warm smile.

“That’s a way to start class,” she commented. “Hello, everyone! How are we feeling this evening besides vaguely threatened?”

Only the boy next to me and I replied, saying we were okay.

“Well, I’m glad you two are good. I’m gonna guess everyone’s a little tired?” she asked. The girl next to me nodded. “That’s fine. This is an early class for you guys. I get it. Well, I’m just going to go ahead. I’m Dr. Theresa. Some of you are probably familiar with mine and my husband’s business. Or you may know my daughters, Opal and Ruby.” The older one waved and smiled. Her sister copied her, albeit she was a little stiff and didn’t make eye contact. The girl next to me raised her hand.

“Are you a real doctor?” she asked.

“I am!” Dr. Theresa replied. “I went to med school and now I’m a practicing gynecologist. I’d like a doctorate in human sexuality as well, but I’m not keen on the idea of going back to school. I think we can all agree school’s a little draining.” Huh? She’s a gynecologist? Human sexuality?

The pieces fell into place in my mind and my cheeks flared with color.

Oh no. Oh no no no no no.

“My doctorate may not be in human sexuality,” Dr. Theresa continued. “But I’m more than qualified to teach you all about sex education!”

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! I want to learn magic! Not about sex!

“Ruby, please hand out the syllabus. We’ll go over that today and then we’ll get started with anatomy.”

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

Even though Dr. Theresa was nice, she set the tone for today. I wasn’t as ready as I thought I’d be. I struggled with all my spells that day and classes were hard. But now our last class was done and it was time to go back to my dorm. I’ve really bit off more than I can chew, haven’t I? But at least I’m not Fandamilia… I looked to the girl next to me. She’d been acting funny since Dr. Theresa’s lecture. Maybe she’s new too?

“Hey, uh, Fandamilia, right?” I spoke up. She perked up, looking confused.

“Huh? Were you talking?” she asked.

“No, I just called you. Um, are you okay?” I inquired. Immediately her demeanor changed, from confused and tired to looking perky and smiling widely. To be honest, something about it struck me as weird.

“Oh, yeah I’m fine! We just learned a lot today,” she replied.

“Yeah. I wasn’t expecting a sex ed lecture this morning.”

“Me too! Sex is so gross, I can’t believe people want to have it,” she shuddered.

“It’s a problem. I’m surprised they waited until now to have that class. We needed it at the beginning of the year. I guess they wanted to wait until we got our transfer students here.” The dude with bad vibes that sat by Fandamilia spoke up. He looked over to me and my neighbor, Tsukasa.

“Well, we might as well all learn it at the same time,” Tsukasa shrugged.

“I’d prefer to just. Not,” Fandamilia said, wrinkling her nose in disgust. She slumped in her chair. The guy with bad vibes looked a little uncomfortable as he stood up, grabbing Fandamilia’s arm.

“Come on, Millie. Let’s go to the Night Cafe and get something to eat,” he said. The Night Cafe? Isabelle told me about that last night. To be honest, I could really go for a snack...

“That’s a great idea, Viggo! Let’s go!” Again, she perked up almost immediately, shoving her things into her backpack. “You guys should come too!” she added, looking from me to Tsukasa.

“Sure, I’ll come along,” he said.

“I’ll come too!” I said. Viggo frowned as we got up, but I tried to ignore it. After all, this was going to be fun! I would go and have some food with my classmates and we’d become friends. This could save the day!

The Night Cafe looked like a run of the mill pub. A few other students were in there. A few were in duos, but most were sitting and snacking alone. Fandamilia slid into a booth and eagerly knocked on the table. A drink that looked like muddy water appeared in front of her and she immediately got started on it. Viggo grimaced as he slid into the seat next to her.

“Pace yourself, Millie,” Viggo told her. He knocked on the table and a glass of water appeared. He pushed it towards her.

“Uh, how did you do that?” Tsukasa asked.

“Oh, right. That’s how you order. Just think of whatever drink or snack you want and knock on the table!” Fandamilia told us. Huh. Okay. I thought of a milkshake and knocked. In an instant, a lavish milkshake appeared before me.

“That’s cool!” Tsukasa said. He knocked and a sundae appeared in front of him. His face lit up and he immediately dug in. Viggo ordered a glass of water and a sandwich and pushed them towards Fandamilia. “How’s your milkshake?”

“It’s great! How’s your sundae?” I asked back.

“It’s good!” he said, nodding enthusiastically.

“Great, there you are!” An unfamiliar voice spoke up. I looked up to see a tall guy with periwinkle hair come sauntering over to us. Fandamilia squealed, bouncing in her seat. Viggo tensed, lips pursing into a thin line.

“Zeus! You came to see me?!” I could hear her being starstruck in her voice. I couldn’t blame her. The dude was pretty hot.

“Nah, I’m here for the newbies,” he said. Her smile changed into something that struck fear into my heart. Okay, you know what, never mind. He’s not as hot as I thought he was.

“Oh,” she replied softly.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Tsukasa spoke up. He introduced me before adding on, “And I’m Tsukasa.”

“I know who you are. Come with me,” Zeus motioned for us to follow him.

“Is it urgent?” I asked. I mean, of course I’d go with him, but I’d like to finish my milkshake first.

“Very urgent,” he replied with a wide grin that didn’t instill confidence in me.

“What’s going on?” Tsukasa asked.

“You’re going to become real Night Class students!” Zeus told us.

“Uh… We’re undergoing our Trial already?” Panic started to settle in. I thought I had thirteen days! Why was this happening now?!

“No! Man, you guys are slow on the uptake. You have do some tasks to prove you’re brave enough to be in the Night Class,” Zeus said with a slight pout.

“You’re hazing them?” Fandamilia asked.

“No!”

“That’s exactly what it is,” Viggo spoke up, reaching over and taking a swig of Fandamilia’s drink. He wrinkled his nose a bit as it went down.

“Why do you want to haze them? We’re all Unus students,” Fandamilia asked.

“We were hazed, so they should be too.” Fandamilia’s strained smile slipped off her face in a second, a look of anger replacing it.

“That’s terrible! … I, oh my gosh, I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean that!” If she didn’t look so terrified and if Zeus wasn’t pissing me off, I’d think it was funny how many face journeys she was going on. Now she looked distraught, large amethyst eyes pleading with Zeus, who just looked irritated.

“Well, clearly you did, otherwise you wouldn’t have said it,” he told her and she shrunk in her seat even more.

“I-I just, um, I mean, just because we were humiliated doesn’t mean they have to be too. Wouldn’t you rather save them from that pain?”

“No,” he answered. Fandamilia’s knuckles were white as she gripped the water Viggo got her. I was worried she was going to break it.

“That’s so selfish! You shouldn’t want that!” she exploded.

“Why not? Scaring people’s pretty funny.” Now Zeus just looked confused as Fandamilia glared at him.

“No it’s not!” she shouted. He rolled his eyes and although I hadn’t known Fandamilia for long, I was ready to die defending her.

“Ugh, it’s not a big deal! Can’t you just shut up about it?” he demanded. Fandamilia’s eyes were full of tears and rage burned inside me.

“Hey, you know what? Fine. I’ll undergo the hazing if you leave us alone,” I spoke up. I already know he wants to scare me. To test me. Let’s see how well he deals with me passing his stupid test AND using my special magic to get back at him. Fandamilia was in tears because of this guy and I wasn’t about to let him get away with it. He grinned and grabbed my arm, hauling me to my feet.

The walk out of the Night Class was short and pretty easy. Zeus and I stood at the edge of a dark forest. It was a little creepy, but I was too mad to worry about what lurked in the shadows.

“So, what’s my challenge?” I asked.

“I hid a lantern in the forest. It’s gold and shaped like a sphere Go get it,” he instructed. “You have thirty minutes.”

“And if I don’t make it in time?” He grinned.

“You’ll find out.” I knew I’d make it in less time. “Your time starts now!” I walked into the forest, determined to get away from Zeus before I asked the animals where the lantern was. But how to have my revenge? Maybe I should wait the full time and then scream, and once he comes in to save me, I have some birds dive bomb him, or something. Or maybe I could just hide behind a tree and scare him. I had a lot of options.

I walked along the path, looking for an animal to talk to. I couldn’t see Zeus anymore and now he wouldn’t be able to hear me cheating. The tall bushes by me rustled and I headed off the path ever so slightly to chat with the animal.

“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you, but have you seen a lantern around here? It looks like a golden sphere,” I said as I got closer.

“I haven’t seen it, but I could make one for you.” I stepped back at the familiar voice. Zett appeared from behind the bushes, dressed in all black with that cool jacket I’d seen him in last time we met.

“Zett?!”

#zett wizardess heart #zett wh #wizardess heart fan route #wh fan route updates #wizardess heart

5 notes · View notes

aion-rsa · 3 years

Text

Why The Great North Isn’t Just Another Bob’s Burgers

https://ift.tt/3rSBEcN

It’s easy to take one look at FOX’s newest animated comedy, The Great North, and assume it’s exactly like the long running and beloved Bob’s Burgers. Two of The Great North’s creators wrote a good chunk of Bob’s Burgers episodes and the shows share a near-identical art style after all. At first glance some of the Bob’s Burgers character archetypes seem to be involved as well: awkward daughter, an odd sarcastic youngest child, and a loving, if somewhat offbeat, father. So why bother with something like Bob’s Burgers when you could just watch Bob’s Burgers?

While there are a few surface similarities, by the end of the first episode of The Great North you’ll realize there’s so much more to it than just an Alaskan set version of the Belcher family. It’s got humor all its own, unique characters, and the potential to be something that isn’t merely a rival to Bob’s Burgers but a truly unique experience.

So let’s head up north to discover all the reasons why The Great North is so wonderful. As a brief primer, the show is set in Alaska and follows the Tobin family with fisherman dad Beef, artistic daughter Judy, loveably dumb son Ham, bear-suit wearing son Moon, oldest and eager to please son Wolf, his always chipper and new to Alaska fiancé Honeybee, and Judy’s best imaginary friend Alanis Morissette…played by Alanis Morssette.

The Family’s Lack of a Mom is Refreshingly Handled

A lack of a mom is a huge trope in animation at this point (look at damn near every ‘90s Disney movie) and if there is a mom, especially in a comedy, she tends to be wacky or overly loving. The Great North puts a new twist on both of these in its very first episode.

The plot of the premiere deals with Beef struggling to get over his ex-wife years after she abandoned the family. An ex-wife isn’t anything to write home about, a single dad taking care of a family is a comedy trope in of itself, but it’s what we learn about Beef’s ex that makes this element so refreshing.

Instead of the mom just not being present or having died off screen, Beef only acts like she’s dead, a fabrication everyone goes along with to keep him sane. When he isn’t around though Judy is quick to point out the rest of the family doesn’t buy this and they never liked her much anyway. She even flat out states,

“She was a really bad mom, okay? And it was actually better when she left.”

The other kids then list off horrible things she did, like name their dog Grandma solely so, “she wouldn’t be lying when she said we were with Grandma when people asked.” She runs a blog with her “new lover” about stores that wont chase you if you shoplift. Even in her goodbye letter to Ham she just wrote, “smell you later.”

I love this so much because it replaces all the easy sentimentality of a dead or simply absent mom that comedies love and instead opens up some fantastic new storytelling opportunities. In the pilot alone it gives us deep insight into Beef, that despite how awful she was he refuses to think anything but the best of her. Why is he like that? Is it his way of not thinking about all the terrible things she did? She’s left him so broken he has to concoct an elaborate fantasy to keep himself sane. It makes you instantly love the character and while he does seemingly get over this denial in the pilot I can foresee it impacting him for the rest of the series.

It’s also so refreshing because the kids aren’t all that broken up about it. Knowing their mom was terrible helps reflect a lot of what kids go through in real life. Sometimes they just have a bad parent and there’s no deep explanation of why, they just are and it’s not great. Maybe Judy and the others are hurt by this and I’d love to see the show tackle that in the future but even if it strictly keeps this part of their characters on the comedic side of things? It’s empowering. These kids aren’t broken up by their awful mom and want her back; they’re thriving BECAUSE she isn’t around.

Nick Offerman Being Nick Offerman

Over the years Nick Offerman has perfected the deadpan and loveable character that brought him to fame in Parks and Recreation. His role as Beef isn’t a major departure from that mold but it does allow Offerman to be even warmer than his most famous character.

As Beef he’s a capable man who gets up to see the sun rise and chop wood. He loves nature so much he steals a potted plant from a mall to take better care of it. His love for his family is on full display and he often goes to absurd lengths to keep them together. Offerman brings a great charm to the role and all of the jokes he delivers are winners.

The Rural Location

Bob’s Burgers draws much inspiration from its city setting, while The Great North is set in rural Alaska. This may seem like a surface level change but once again opens up all kinds of new opportunities for stories and characters. Where the Belcher family was somewhat cynical to city life (you would be to with a landlord breathing down your neck) the Tobin family openly embraces the chilly north.

Judy sits out on the roof and talks with her imaginary best friend, Moon takes great pride in his ability to mimic a soon to be eaten cadaver laying out in the snow, and Beef specifically gets up every morning to stare in wild wonder at Alaska’s majesty while whispering “hot dog.” The whole family even delights in going to the mall, which is the kind of joy only someone living out in the middle of nowhere can truly appreciate.

The Different Character Dynamics

Even after eleven truly fantastic seasons Bob’s Burgers characters still manage to never feel stale and the team behind the show always finds new ways to play around with them. With such a rock solid cast of characters you’d think they could tackle any story imaginable but The Great North is already proving to be a home for stories that just wouldn’t work for Bob’s Burgers.

The most noticeable change is that most of the kids are older. Judy and Ham are both sixteen which opens up a lot of possibilities that couldn’t be done with the Belcher kids. They can get involved in more serious relationships, have jobs (as Judy gets in the first episode), and are able to be more autonomous from the family. Wolf, the oldest of all of them, is engaged! Imagine what could be done with a soon-to-be married couple? Honeybee herself also functions as a delighted fish out of water to Alaska, her thoughts on the Tobins’ life a needed commentary. Her outgoing personality also clashes well with Moon’s stoic nature.

The 10 Best Bob’s Burgers Episodes

By Chris Cummins

Judy and Ham also share a more loving sibling dynamic than any of the Belcher kids ever have. In Bob’s Burgers the kids don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves, they’re more likely to make sarcastic quips about one other. The Great North though has Judy and Ham share a special bond, the two have a secret handshake that goes for an indeterminable amount of time. It’s really sweet and it makes me excited to see what kind of comedy can be mined from this more openly affectionate family.

Ham Is Gay And I Love Him

Ham is my favorite character so far in this show. He’s a little slow on the uptake but loves everyone in his family a lot and can even make a perfect replica of a cadaver… in the form of a cake. He also happens to be gay, a fact that is wonderfully confirmed in the first episode when he blurts out, “I AM GAY!

To which Moon responds, “we know. You’ve come out to us a bunch of times.”

Beef then adds, “we love you just the way you are, damn it!”

Ham, clearly not remembering his past comings-out, yells, “WELL, THANK YOU FOR BEING AN ALLY!”

It’s a great scene and kicks any subtext out the door. Queer audiences don’t have to sit around guessing who COULD be queer in the show (as they’re so often forced to do with so little representation in media) there’s a character who said OUT LOUD he’s gay. He’s one of us!

Bob’s Burgers has had several one-time gay characters (Bob did refer to himself as “mostly straight” once but that was more of a gag) but getting a gay teen in the main cast is sublime. He’s also a different sort of gay teen then we’re used to in television, with a tiny “probably thinks it’s cooler than it actually is” mustache and his “not quite all there” personality. He’s not a stereotype, he’s got some obvious flaws, but he’s loveable! Sure enough, his family loves him and accepts him.

Having a gay character in the cast opens up so many story possibilities. Are there any other gay kids in this rural town? What if there’s only one and he’s forced to date him? Does he know what kind of guys he likes yet? Where do the gay kids hang out in this town?

It also must be reiterated that his family loves him and accepts him. While drama over coming out and acceptance is totally valid, I’m glad that Ham will get the chance to just be gay and his family will support him all the way. We can just see him happily (if somewhat absent-mindedly) live his life and that’s needed in a world with so little queer representation. As a pansexual man myself it’s heartwarming. I wish I had a character like Ham when I was growing up.

Alanis Morissette Is A Main Character

Yes, Alanis Morissette is in The Great North (played by the actual Alanis Morissette) but in an absolutely perfect choice she’s not the REAL Alanis Morissette, she’s Judy’s best imaginary friend who just happens to be Alanis Morissette. Judy’s artistic so it makes sense she’d look up to someone as incredible as the Canadian musical genius. As an imaginary best friend she tends to serve as a sounding board for Judy’s thoughts and gives absolutely flawless advice.

Even better though? The imaginary Alanis Morissette also only appears in the Aurora Borealis. That’s… incredible. What a way to take advantage of the show’s location!

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The Great North is a delight. It’s only been two episodes (the third one premieres February 14 and the first two are available on Hulu) but it’s already shown a lot of promise. Not in the “oh it’ll get good eventually” sense but in the “no it’s already great and I want to see more of it!” Don’t think of it as another Bob’s Burgers, just think of it as its own wonderful moose-filled show (it’s Alaska, what did you expect) and you’ll have a fantastic time. Truly, in these dark times we could all use a little help from imaginary best friend Alanis Morissette.

The post Why The Great North Isn’t Just Another Bob’s Burgers appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3tVzoTX

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

7 notes · View notes

babygenius · 4 years

Note

Some JATP asks- who is your fave character? who is your fave creative (actor/actress/writer/director)? what is your fave song? what is your least fave song? fave episode? fave ship? least fave ship? underrated JATP thing? what's the most difficult thing about writing fics? also can you write a fic about Julie being transported with the guys to the 90s? I feel like that would be cool. idk if it's been done before. Obvs don't answer any question you don't want to! x

My fave character has got to be Luke, and it’s not just coz he’s my type. I made a post a while back about how I think he’s autistic and/or adhd, like I am, and I identify with that a lot. Also, the pan ace hc for him is something I agree with and also identify with, so he’s special to me for a lot of reasons. I live all of the characters for different reasons (which goes to show how good the writers are), but Luke holds a special place in my heart and probably always will.

I think the question here is which cast member I like? All of them, really, it’s exceedingly difficult to pick one. We stan Madi as our Gen Z Queen, and Owen coz of his comedic timing and how in-character it is, and Charlie and Jeremy and just everyone so picking one is impossible whoops.

Fave song is also really difficult because it depends on my mood, but Bright was my first favorite so we’ll go with that.

I have to be in the right mood for Wow. I can listen to it during the scene (the choreo is killer too), but sometimes it messes with my sensory issues and seems like it goes on forever so I’ve gotta skip.

Fave episode is also difficult, but it’s gotta be Stand Tall. It’s an amazing blend of family, humor, hurt/comfort, and just showing Julie’s inner strength as a human being and friend. I’ve watched it the most out of all the episodes, I think.

Jukebox or Willex are my favorite ship because I’m a basic child with basic needs and the way the writing obviously shows how they’re meant to be together is something I love. I’m not opposed to an OT3, tho, between Reggie, Julie, and Luke 👀

I don’t really have a least favorite ship? Actually no that’s a lie. Caleb with any of the boys, and Caleb as Nick with any of the boys. I know there’s...nasty fanfic about those pairings and it’s just unsettling since Caleb is in his mid forties and the boys still have the emotional and psychological maturity of seventeen year olds.

Underrated JatP thing....this is hard. I know that Nick hasn’t had much character development to most people since he’s a background person, but I disagree. As a writer, as a person who studies the way dialogue moves a scene or character and what the surroundings mean...Nick isn’t underdeveloped at all. Sure, he’s not as developed with a backstory as the main people, but he’s also not some basic white boy with no personality. His personality is shown in little scenes and comments and how he interacts with others, and I love that for him.

Also, continuing the question further: Reggie. Anyone who thinks he’s dumb can fight me I swear I will throw hands. Like, he probably just has sensory processing disorder and/or adhd or something. I do the exact same thing he does and I would be lying if I said I were dumb. I’m smart, I’m just a little slow on the uptake sometimes, just like he is. We all think and process differently and just because he doesn’t meet your ideal image of “smart” doesn’t mean he isn’t smart in his own way. I have feelings about this.

The most difficult thing about writing fics, aside from the whole writing thing in general, is something I think is specific to writing fanfic: characterization. You are taking another person’s characters and working them into a story of your own, and it can be difficult to move a scene the way you want to when working with certain characters. Especially through dialogue. It’s a constant inner monologue of “would they use this word? This phrase? Would they say anything at all? How would they react? I think they would use this instead, actually...” It also depends on whether it’s a one-shot or a multichap, because for me, with one-shots, I only need a vague idea of where I’m going and the rest will fill in on its own. With multichaps tho it’s similar but I need to put down actual plot notes so I know what clues to drop for future developments and how I want everything to tie together. It’s difficult but a lot of fun and very rewarding based on the responses I get, I think.

That fic idea is amazing and I would love to write it, but I’m going to put it in my notes so I can write it when I’m done with my current projects, because I already have four and I try not to go above that. Also because that kind of a fic, for me, would be multichap so I want to get mostly done with LLtD first since that’s a really involved one and this idea would be almost as involved. I’ll put it down for later tho, and hopefully I can get around to it!

Thank you for sending these, I really enjoyed them! Never be afraid to send asks, I genuinely enjoy them and spending time on them. Requests for blurbs are still open, and you don’t even have to be sending one in to talk or send an ask because I am a lonely soul who likes talkin to people and about my experiences 😂

@musicallad

#ray gets an ask #I’m ray #questions #musicallad #jatp #ask julie and the phat ones #julie and the phantoms

12 notes · View notes

angryhausfrau-writes · 3 years

Text

Dammit, Amos, I’m a Botanist Not a Doctor

Prax's first aid skills are really not equipped to handle the kinds of injuries Amos keeps coming to him with. And he's getting pretty mad that Amos keeps needing that sort of medical attention. Wishes he'd start taking better care of himself. And in the middle of his lecture about Amos doing just that, feelings get revealed.

“You know that I'm a botanist and not a medical doctor, Amos. I don't know why you keep coming to me with this kind of thing.”

They're standing in the harsh lighting of the mechanic shop rather than the sterile med bay and Prax is peering dubiously at the cut on Amos's chest, a cotton swab with disinfectant held in his unsure hand. Exactly how Amos had gotten cut is a mystery – and a mystery that Prax doesn't really need to know the answer to, if he's being honest with himself.

After Jules-Pierre Mao, and Dr. Strickland, and everything surrounding Mei's rescue, he's more than aware of just what kind of man Amos Burton is. Just how far he's willing to go to protect those he's chosen to follow, to guard. And for whatever reason Prax and Mei have fallen into that “protect” category. And there's nothing Amos won't do to see them – and the rest of the kids – safe and shielded from any form of harm.

Including the protective form of harm Amos has been dishing out as the Roci crew attempts to eradicate any remaining pockets of Protomolecule left hidden away by Jules-Pierre Mao or Dr. Strickland and his scientists.

“It's cuz I trust you, doc,” Amos says, clapping a big, rough hand onto Prax's shoulder. “And it's just a little cut anyway – nothing to waste the autodoc on.”

That's not, strictly speaking, true. The cut's deep enough that Amos needs stitches – which he'd opted for over the cellular regen, for reasons known only to him. And it's a wound that falls right at the edge of Prax's limited first-aid skills.

But Amos has this way of looking at Prax – blunt and direct and so full of trust in him. It's almost frightening in its absoluteness. Prax never wants to see that look turn to distrust and betrayal. So this – Amos standing in the mechanical bay, stripped to the waist, while Prax patches him up - has turned into something of a ritual for them whenever Amos comes back from a mission.

And it is every time Amos comes back from a mission, Prax thinks as he starts disinfecting the cut. Because Amos will bodily put himself between his crew and harm every. Single. Time.

And it's a little bit infuriating and a lot concerning. But being infuriated is easier to concentrate on as Prax works to bring the broken edges of skin back together. He needs his hands steady and his head clear of worries about what if.

What if this is the last time they do this? What if Amos gets hurt too badly to fix next time? What if...?

So Prax thinks about how mad he is at Amos for dragging him away from his plants or his daughter or his reading to patch him up, over and over again. Because he has no regard for his own safety. His own worth.

“You should be more careful, Amos,” Prax says, an edge of steel to his voice as he pulls the needle through Amos's tender, breakable – oh, so breakable – skin. “You're not indestructible, you know.”

The point is underlined by Amos's sharp breath as Prax pulls the first stitch taught.

And he can't keep up the steely disapproval. Not in the face of Amos actually hurting. But he has gotten pretty good at gentle chastisement through his being a single parent to Mei. And heading an entire department of younger scientists. So.

“I know you like to go charging headfirst into danger, like to put yourself in the line of fire. Like to protect people. But you're human. Flesh and blood. And you can't – you've got to start being more careful, Amos.”

Prax runs his hand gently over Amos's chest, soothing Amos's flinching at the sting of the needle and steadying himself and making sure – to the best of his limited ability – that his stitches are even and won't scar.

“There are people who care if you come back, you know. Mei would be devastated to lose her new uncle. And the rest of the kids.”

A pause while Prax makes the next stitch. And thinks about his next words.

“And me too, Amos. I – I wouldn't have made it to Io without you. Wouldn't have found Mei without you. And I don't. I can't say what would have happened with Dr. Strickland without you there. But more than that, you're my best friend, Amos.”

That's not. That doesn't come close to describing how Prax feels about him. But it's all the words he can find right now – when he's scared and mad and so, so full of concern for the man who's standing there so still and patient and, and nonjudgmental under his clumsy attempts at doctoring.

“And I don't want to lose you because you were being reckless or, or not valuing just how important you are to us. To everyone on this ship.”

Prax makes another stitch. Almost done, now.

“But mostly, I don't want to lose our friendship. Is that selfish to say?”

Not that Amos has ever cared about things like that. It's one of the things Prax values about their friendship – with Amos, he doesn't need to apologize for how he is or what he feels. Amos takes it all with equanimity. Takes Prax as he is, even at his worst.

And true to form, Amos shrugs – broad chest shifting under Prax's hands.

“It's true, regardless. So you'd better start taking better care of yourself.”

Prax ties off the knot on his suture. It's not professional by any means, but it ought to hold. He wipes away the blood, and he can already see where Amos's flesh is purpling in vicious bruises along his ribs and he runs his fingers over the flesh, pressing in, testing for bruised or broken ribs.

“You'd better come back to me, Amos.”

There's a hitch of breath that doesn't come from Prax pressing at Amos's ribs. And, oh God. What is he saying? What has he done?

After that first gasp, it doesn't feel like Amos is even breathing, he's standing so still.

He's messed everything up, that's what. Messed up his friendship with Amos – as new and tenuous as the tender green shoots of the soja hispida growing in his room. And this. This has to be the end of everything between the two of them. Prax has gotten too clingy, too desperate sounding. And Amos won't want that, won't want his baggage, won't want to come to him for this anymore.

Prax wants to turn away in shame and misery, curl in on himself like the mimosa podica does when touched, so that he doesn't have to face Amos and his look of betrayal. But he finds whatever courage brought him from Ganymede to the Rocinante to Io in search of Mei, in search of vengeance if he couldn't find her, and he steels himself and looks up into Amos's face.

And Amos is looking back at him with such deep emotion, such blunt trust, such naked warmth, that Prax feels himself open up like a helianthus to the sun and before he knows what he's doing he's reached up and cupped Amos's bristled cheek in his hand. And when Amos presses into it, just barely, Prax kisses him.

It's soft and tentative and everything that Amos Burton isn't. So Prax isn't all that surprised when Amos cradles the back of his head in his big hand and pulls him closer, deepens the kiss, until Prax is drowning in it – couldn't think about anything else even if he wanted to.

Eventually, they break apart, Prax gasping for breath, overwhelmed. But Amos is there to hold him up, to keep hold of him, to guide him through this, too.

And Amos is smiling down at Prax, eyes still boring into Prax's soul.

“I was wondering when you'd get the picture, Prax. For a smart guy, you can be a little slow on the uptake.”

“What?” Prax gasps, still feeling breathless – though that probably doesn't have anything to do with lack of oxygen at this point. “What are you talking about?”

Amos laughs. “What, you really thought I had'ta strip half naked for you to patch up a bullet wound on my shoulder? Or this cut?”

And Prax lets his gaze trail down down down Amos's chest to where his jumpsuit is just barely clinging to his hips, riding low enough that Prax isn't even entirely sure he can call him clothed. And yes, Prax can see that it's all a little unnecessary for the kind of wounds he's been tending.

“You were coming on to me?”

Amos shrugs one shoulder. “Yep. Glad the interest's mutual – I thought maybe, but then you didn't do anything. So I'd kinda given up on it.”

“To be fair, I was a little preoccupied with finding my missing daughter at the time to realize that you were hitting on me.” But Prax can feel himself smiling as he says it. Because everything worked out ok and Mei is alive and here on the Rocinante with him and Amos is standing here, steady as a rock, patient, waiting for Prax to catch up with him.

“Well, she ain't missing anymore,” Amos says, matter of fact.

“So what now? We fall into bed together?”

Amos shrugs again. “If you wanna.”

Prax thinks about it for a second. But really, there's not that much to think about.

“Yeah, ok.”

And after, when they're laying together in Amos's bunk, sweaty and a little gross, and very, very happy, Amos turns to him and says, “You're my best friend, too, Prax.”

#the expanse #praxos

9 notes · View notes

sapphirewolf1122 · 5 years

Text

True Nature (part 2, final)

Part 1 | Part 2

Word Count: 4,788

A/N: Thank you to everyone for all the likes and comments! I haven’t received reactions like that for one of my fics in a long time, so please know it was greatly appreciated. It may have even help me with my writing rut that I’ve been in. I hope you enjoy part two!

Bakugo was really fucking confused.

What the hell had gotten into you? At first, when you had started hitting him, he thought you had been worried and were angry at him for not contacting you. But then you had pushed him away and screamed at him…because he was fucking sick?

But something about the way you had screamed at him didn’t seem like anger. It looked like you had become incredibly sad. If you know what’s good for you. What did that even mean? Was it a threat or a genuine warning?

For the next two days, Bakugo stayed away like you had asked. He was still on leave due to his injuries from the raid. But he wanted so bad to get back out there. A couple of the fucking bastards had gotten away and it was believed they’d taken something with them. Something that could really hurt a lot of people.

At one point, he called Kirishima, to see if he had any advice about what to do with you.

“Yo. Bakubro, to what do I owe the pleasure?” came his best friend’s voice.

“Who the fuck even talks like that, Shitty Hair?”

“Yours truly. How’re you doing, by the way? Word is you had to go to the hospital after that raid.” Bakugo couldn’t help feeling a little touched at the sound of Kirishima’s concern; not that he would ever tell him that.

“I’m fucking fine; I just strained my arms a bit too much during the Goddamn fight. They made a way bigger deal out of it than it was.”

“Knowing you, you probably went well beyond your limit.”

“Whatever. I didn’t call you to talk about my fucking well-being. I called you cause I need…advice…”

“Whaaaat? The great Bakugo Katsuki needs advice? About what, might I ask?”

“Shut the fuck up, Shark Week. It’s…about a girl.” Bakugo went on to explain what had happened. When he finished, Kirishima was silent for several moments.

Finally, he said, “To be honest, bro, that sounds very strange. For once, it doesn’t sound like you did anything specific to provoke the screaming.” Bakugo went to protest but Kirishima spoke over him. “From what I can tell, seeing you hurt must have triggered some sort of trauma within her. Maybe she thought she couldn’t handle it again so she pushed you away.”

Bakugo hadn’t even thought of that; he felt like a fucking idiot. Kirishima had always been better about other people’s emotions though. “So what the fuck should I do?”

“You said it’s been a few days, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then maybe she’s calmed down and you can go ask her about what happened. But don’t be too rough about it; make sure you’re gentle about it. I know that can be difficult.”

“I CAN BE FUCKING GENTLE IF I FUCKING WANT TO BE, SHITTY HAIR!”

Kirishima just laughed. “Good luck, bro. Let me know how it goes.”

With that, the red-head hung up, leaving Bakugo still unsure about what he should do. For several minutes, he sat and thought, trying to figure out the best way. Finally, with a growl of frustration, he decided to just go fucking do it. He got up and practically ran out of his apartment.

When he got to your store, he walked in and looked around for you. Catching the eye of one of your employees, they just shook their head and pointed up. With a nod, he walked back outside and climbed the steps to your front door.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked. After several moments of silence, he knocked again, louder this time. By the third time, he was practically pounding on the fucking door. He kept at this until it finally flew open and revealed you, standing in your pajamas and glaring at him. You also seemed to be holding a blanket in your hand.

“I fucking told you to stay away, Bakugo,” you said angrily. Your voice sounded hoarse, as though it hadn’t been used much in the past couple of days.

“And I will. Once you fucking tell me what’s going on,” Bakugo shot back. He was trying to keep his voice even but the sight of you had really thrown him off. His heart was pounding.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.” You went to shut the door but he caught it.

“Yes, you fucking do! Because I don’t know what I fucking did wrong and it’s all I’ve been able to think about for the past two days! Is it about how I didn’t call after I got hurt? Did I upset you?”

That seemed to catch you off guard. “I…no….well, yes, I was mad, but that’s not—”

“Then what, ___? What’s wrong? You can tell me.”

You shook your head vehemently; he saw that your eyes were starting to fill with tears. “No, I can’t. Trust me, it’s better like this.”

“It’s better that I never see you again? Like fuck it is.”

“Bakugo, please, you’re making this harder than it already is.”

“Why the hell does it have to be hard?” He had begun moving closer to you.

“Because it just is…it’s just how my life is and it’s better if—”

“Don’t you fucking dare say that again. Just tell me why, and I will go.”

“No, just leave it!”

“I won’t until you tell me wh—”

“BECAUSE I HURT EVERYONE I LOVE! OKAY? THAT’S WHY!”

Bakugo stared at you, speechless for several moments. Did you just say that you loved him? He watched as the tears in your eyes finally spilled over. “What do you mean? How could you possibly—”

“It’s my quirk.”

He blinked. “You have a quirk?” The blonde had always just assumed that you were quirkless.

You laughed bitterly at that. “Yeah, I do. Though it should be called a curse, because that’s all it’s done: curse me.”

“What…?”

“…is my quirk? Not sure there is a name for it but put simply, the people I love are affected whenever I get injured or sick. For the most part, it’s just minor effects, small symptoms of whatever happened to me. However, the more I love someone, the more they’re affected. If I fall in love with someone, it can become so great that the harm doesn’t even affect my body anymore, only theirs.”

“So you pushed me away because…” Bakugo felt like he was being very slow on the uptake right now.

“Because, in the days after the raid, I got sick. And when you finally came back, you were sick too, with what appeared to be the same symptoms. I have worked too hard over the years to make sure nobody is ever affected by my quirk again. I had hoped that pushing you away would stop….my…feelings.” You suddenly seemed very aware of what you were saying and your face suddenly turned very red.

Bakugo couldn’t help a small grin from playing out on his face. But then something else you said made him frown. “Wait, how could you possibly manage not to love anyone? You would have had to—”

“Completely isolate myself? Yeah, no shit. The only contact with people are my employees, whom I barely ever speak to, and my customers. I learned how to become completely aloof. It got to the point where people simply stopped trying to get to know me.”

Bakugo really looked at you now. He saw the sunken look in your eyes and the incredible sadness that, while it seemed to have receded in the past weeks, always marked your face. Softly, he said, “Please tell me what happened.”

You looked up at him then, the tears still falling down your face. After several moments of silence, you nodded and stepped back into your apartment, opening the door wider as you did.

“It’s a long story. You might as well come in.”

You told Bakugo everything. When you finished your story, the two of you sat on your couch for a long time in silence. You thought that maybe, now that he knew, he would finally have the sense to leave and let you forget about him.

However, when he did finally speak, it was of something completely unexpected.

“You know, I’ve never been very good with emotions. I’m very bad when it comes to knowing how I feel about people…let alone what they feel about me.” A small smile was playing on his lips as he spoke; you had no idea where he was going with this. He continued, “I’m not good at letting people in. Ask my entire high school class. How I managed to make friends with those fucking idiots is beyond me. I think I just finally accepted that they weren’t going anywhere no matter what I did.”

At that moment, he met your eyes. “I think that’s what you’re going to have accept about me.”

Now you were scared and went to protest but he spoke over you. “Like I said, I’m not good at knowing how I feel about people. It usually takes them making a bit of an impression on me and let me tell you, you’ve left a fucking impression.”

You just stared at him, dumbfounded.

The smile suddenly disappeared; he now looked very serious. “After everything you’ve been through, I understand why you would want to keep people away. In fact, I think you’re probably one of the bravest people I know for it. But you have to understand this: you can’t expect people to stop feeling things for you just because you want to protect them. It’s not fair to them.”

You managed to find your voice. “You don’t seem to get it…”

Growling with frustration, Bakugo practically yelled, “NO, you don’t seem to fucking get it.” He leaned in close to you and grabbed your face, angling it up towards him. Looking into your eyes, he hesitated for only a moment before he kissed you fiercely.

Your first instinct was to resist but something ignited inside you, something that you had thought never would be again, and you were kissing him back. You kissed him with the desperation of someone who hadn’t felt the love or touch of another human being in years. You started to rise, and as you did, you accidentally bumped foreheads with Bakugo, causing the two of you to break apart.

Laughing slightly, you said, “Sorry, I’m a little out of practice.”

The blonde smirked at that. “Well then I guess we better keep practicing…” He leaned in to continue the kissing but you stopped him.

Breathlessly, you asked, “Are you sure about this? Because once we decide to keep going, we can’t go back. I am falling in love with you and you could end up paying for it.”

“Bring it on.” And with that, he was kissing you again. Pushing you back down on the sofa, his lips would make hot trails down your neck and jawline and then he would go back up. You couldn’t be close enough and without realizing it, you started to pull his shirt off.

Pulling back from you for a second, his hair messy from your hands winding in it, he asked, “Should we take this somewhere more comfortable?”

You nodded and with that, he took your legs and wrapped them around his waist. Then, while continuing to kiss you, he carried you to your bedroom.

You and Bakugo had been together for almost a month now. Despite how doubtful you still were that this could ever work, you were happier than you had been in a very long time. Perhaps than you had ever been.

Katsuki (calling him that still made you giggle) went back to work after his wounds had healed and he had been cleared. He was still working with the other district to find the villains who had escaped the raid. But he came home almost every night to you, only excluding when he had night shifts or if he had to stay at his apartment.

You did still make sure to be more careful now. You wore more protective gloves while working so as to avoid burns and did any cooking with extreme care. And as the days passed, you were actually starting to think that everything would be okay.

You should have known to trust your instincts.

That night, the two you had made plans to meet at his apartment. You left the cafe to your employees, waving at them pleasantly as you walked out. They were still not used to this new side of you and just stared; you had the thought that maybe you should do something for them.

Taking out your cell phone, you texted Katsuki that you were on your way. That was another new accessory; before, you hadn’t really needed a cell phone and had relied on your work phone. It had only made it easier to isolate yourself.

As you walked, you took in the city around you. There weren’t really a lot of people out tonight but you enjoyed watching those who were. Many were walking alone like you but there were couples or even families here and there. Your eyes kept travelling down to the clasped hands and yours tingled at the thought of soon having Katsuki’s in yours.

Because you were people-watching, you weren’t really aware of what else was going on around you. So you didn’t see the figure appear out of one of the alleyways until it grabbed you. Your gasp was covered by a large hand; the other arm was wrapped around your torso. This didn’t stop you from trying to struggle and scream but the hand kept you muffled all too well.

“Calm….the fuck….down, dammit. If you don’t….want anybody else to get hurt….you will stop…struggling,” snarled your captor in your ear as they wrestled with you. At the threat of others being hurt, you did stop struggling.

“That’s a good girl,” said the voice. They continued to pull you deeper into the alley. As they did, you saw other figures appear as well. In total, there were three. The one holding you finally stopped moving you and spoke again. “Now, I am going to release you again. Continue to be a good girl and nobody else will get hurt. Understand?”

You only hesitated for a moment before nodding, glaring at the other two sneering at you. You couldn’t really see their faces but you could see the glint of their eyes and flash of teeth.

“Good.” As promised, the hand was removed from your mouth. “Now, we’re going to ask you a few questions.”

“What makes you think I have anything you want? I’m just a bookstore owner.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, darlin’,” said one of the others. “We know you’ve been….fraternizing…with one particular hero called Ground Zero…”

You tried to keep your face passive and even tried to force out a laugh. “What makes you think a big time hero like him would have anything to do with me? And what the hell do you want with him?”

The third one piped up now; his voice sounded high and squeaky. “He’s the reason our hideout was completely destroyed and we lost our comrades, as well as most of our weapons. We simply want to make him pay.”

“And don’t try to play with us,” said the one holding you. “We’ve seen the two of you together.”

“So you guys are stalkers too? Man, you just do it all, don’t you?”

You thought you heard the squeaky-voiced one hiss. “Enough! Tell us where he is!”

“You think I know where he is at all times? He’s working! Besides, you’re the stalkers. Shouldn’t you have figured out where he lives by now?”

“It doesn’t matter,” said the second. “Once he knows we have you, he’ll do whatever we say.”

Your heart contracted but you hid your fear by saying, “If you really think that, then you don’t know Ground Zero at all.”

“We’ll see about that.” Suddenly, you felt a great blow to your head and pain lanced through you. As you began to black out, your only thought was of how much that would hurt Katsuki.

Bakugo woke to a horrible pain reverberating in his skull. As he came to, his hand reached to the back of his head, where he felt a hard lump that had formed. Realizing that he must have been attacked, he leapt to his feet only to see that he was in his apartment. He doubled over as the sudden motion caused more pain to shoot through his head, his vision blurring.

When it finally cleared, he searched his apartment for any intruders but nothing was out of place. He frowned in confusion. An intruder wouldn’t have come in for the sole purpose of knocking him out, that would be fucking stupid. Unless….as the realization hit him, his heart jumped into his throat and he scrambled back to where he had woken up, fumbling to find his phone.

When he turned the screen on, he sighed in relief when he saw that there was a text from you. However, that immediately faded when he read it:

If you want to see her alive, you will come alone. No cops and no costume.

Under that, an address was listed. Upon reading it, Bakugo’s vision filled with red. Oh, he was going to fucking kill these bastards. And he had a pretty good idea of who it was. Fine, if they wanted to go toe-to-toe with him, he’d give them what they wanted.

But he wouldn’t go in being stupid; he would make sure you came out alive. He texted back that he was on his way. Then, as he walked out the door, he dialed Kirishima’s number.

“I need your help.”

As you became conscious again, you felt that you were sitting in a chair, your hands tied. Knowing better than to struggle, you focused on the voices that were coming from somewhere else in the room. You recognized them all as the voices of your captors.

“He’s on his way…” That was the one who had grabbed you.

“Finally…and when he does, we’ll blow him to high heaven,” came Squeaky.

“Don’t underestimate him. You saw him back at the hideout; he may be young but he’s powerful.” First one again.

“Ain’t nobody can withstand bullets though, not without some kind of absorption quirk,” came the second one who had spoken in the alley.

“What if we use the serum, huh? He won’t be shooting no explosions then,” said Squeaky.

“No, you idiot,” growled First. “We have to bring that back to the boss. It’s the only bit of our stalk that survived and y’know he’ll have our heads if we lose it.”

“It might be our best chance though. Who put you in charge, anyway?” asked Second, sounding annoyed.

“I worked directly with the making of the serum; I am responsible for making sure it stays safe and that means we don’t use it.”

“You’re just hoping to get in the boss’ good graces,” Squeaky accused.

“Don’t you?”

Wow, these idiots aren’t very good at working together, you thought. You continued to listen as they argued, trying to figure out how to get out in time to warn Katsuki. They had said he was on his way but maybe you could still warn him.

You tried to work at loosening your bonds but that didn’t go unnoticed by your captors and one of them yelled, “Hey! Stop that!”

You looked up to see a man striding towards you. You barely had time to register that he had drawn back his hand before he slapped you. As your head was snapped to the side, you worried at how little it stung.

You glared into the man’s face. He had long dark hair and was so tall, you had to crane your neck. When he saw your face, he seemed confused.

“I put a bit of my quirk into that. You should be bleeding,” he said. He was the one who had grabbed you.

Before you could respond, you heard an angry shout come from outside. Your heart pounded as you recognized it. No Katsuki, please.

Immediately, the three villains grabbed their weapons and fanned out. They each aimed at the door from different angles. It really did seem like he planned to come straight from there, the idiot. You went back to struggling against your bonds, getting desperate now. Even the thought that your struggling was probably causing them to cut into your skin, and therefore his, didn’t stop you.

Suddenly, the door was blown forward. As it did, you saw that Katsuki was practically riding it inside, using his explosions to propel him. You watched as he barrelled into the villain who had slapped you. When he did, he used the momentum to flip above the villain’s head. The door had managed to flatten First to the ground.

Katsuki landed facing you and he gave you a grin that seemed more than a little crazy. You noticed that he had a cut along his cheek; that must have been what First meant. And what had caused the explosion hero to scream in anger.

“Hey babe, sorry I took so long.” First started to move beneath him and the blonde immediately grabbed him and lifted him into the air. “Are you the fucker who hit my girlfriend?” he asked angrily. Then with the aid of an explosion, he sent the villain slamming back into the ground. As he did, you thought you heard something ping and roll away. First lay unmoving.

A movement behind the hero caught your eye. “Katsuki, watch out!”

He immediately spun around but it was too late. One of the villains, who looked distinctly reptilian, had gotten up and raised his gun. As Katuski spun to face him, the villain let several shots loose.

“NOO!” you screamed, a sob ripping its way through your throat.

When the shots stopped though, the blonde was still standing. You watched for the blood to start blossoming and for him to collapse but he seemed to be looking at something in his hands. The two villains who were still standing stared in shock. “How’s that possible?” said the reptilian villain, which you realized was Squeaky.

Absurdly, Katsuki turned to you, a frown on his face. “Is there something you forgot to tell me about your quirk?”

“What?! That’s what you want to talk about right now?! How’re you not dead?” you yelled, tears streaming down your face.

He held up something in his hands. From what you could tell, it looked like a smushed piece of metal. It took you a second to realize what it must be.

“Is that…?”

“A fucking bullet? Yeah. I just got shot like ten times and not a single one harmed me.”

“Are you saying…my quirk…”

The explosion hero grinned. “Only way to be sure is to test it.” And with that, he jumped into action. As he rushed the villains, they tried to shoot him again but it was a waste of bullets. As he neared the villain who you deduced must be Second, the villain dropped the gun and a fight ensued.

As you watched, you suddenly felt a pair of hands touching your arms, causing you to jump. “Sshh, it’s okay. I’m going to untie you,” came a whisper behind you.

When you were released from your bindings, you turned to see a red-haired man giving you a sharp-toothed grin. It didn’t take you long to realize who it was. “Red Riot?”

“Please, Bakubro’s girlfriend can at least call me Kirishima.”

“But what are you doing here?”

“I’m in charge of getting you out of here while Bakugo distracts the villains. Come on!” He reached for your hand but you pulled back.

“No, you have to help him!”

Kirishima glanced behind you, a look of amusement on his face. “Um…I don’t think he needs my help.” He pointed.

Turning around, you saw Katsuki breathing heavily over the slumped forms of the last two villains. Upon seeing this, you ran to your explosive boyfriend, yelling for him. He turned to you, his crazy grin softening as he saw you.

You jumped on him, hugging him tightly. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? What the hell were you thinking?”

You felt him laugh as he hugged you back. “I was thinking that there was no way hell I was going to let those fucking bastards hurt you. And I’m fucking fine. Look, not a scratch on me!”

He set you down and stood back, holding his arms out. His clothes were completely torn but on closer inspection, you saw that he was right. The only injury he bore was the scratch on his cheek from when the villain had hit you; you reckoned that there was probably a lump somewhere on his head too.

Still…”How is that possible? Your power is explosions, not invulnerability.”

“No but I think yours is.”

“Have you not been paying attention? All my quirk does is hurt people.”

“Yeah, when you’re the one who fucking gets hurt. But what if it also helps the person by making them unable to be injured any other way? Every quirk has its drawbacks and that’s the only part of yours you’ve ever seen.”

“So you’re saying my love…protected you?”

His grin widened even more. “Hell yeah!”

A smile of your own was forming on your lips when you heard a rustling. Suddenly, Squeaky was rushing at Katsuki with what looked like a syringe in his hand. “If we can’t kill you, then how about we take away your quirk?!” he screamed.

Without thinking, you rushed forward, grabbing Squeaky’s wrist that held the syringe and twisting it. It clattered to the ground and you proceeded to twist the villains arm behind his back. Immediately, Katsuki and Kirishima knocked him out together, with punches powered by their quirks.

You threw him to the ground, breathing heavily. You looked up to see both heroes staring at you in amazement. “What?!” you exclaimed indignantly.

“That was so manly,” said Kirishima.

That just caused all of them to burst into laughter. Turning to Kirishima, Katsuki teased, “Guess I’m the fucking Unbreakable Hero, now, huh?”

The red-head made a face. “You think you can take a few bullets and that suddenly makes you unbreakable? It takes more than that.”

“Oh, yeah? What did you have in mind, Shark Week?”

As they continued to banter back and forth, you bent down to pick up the syringe. Inside it was a clear liquid. How about we take away your quirk. That’s what the villain had said. Could it be…had another serum been made?

“___, what is that?” Katsuki’s alarmed voice broke through your thoughts.

Looking up at him, you said, “This is a quirk-removing serum, Katsuki.” Your voice trembled with emotion.

“Yeah, so? Give it to me, I’ll take it in to the police.” He held out his hand.

Shaking your head, you held the syringe closer to you. “Do you know what this means? I could finally be rid of it. I don’t have to hurt you or anybody else ever again.”

“But didn’t you just hear me: it protects me, too.”

“Can I really accept the risk? All it takes is one accident and I could really hurt you. Even kill you. I want it gone, Katsuki!”

The blonde sighed and looked at his friend, who just shrugged his shoulders. Turning back to you, he nodded. “Fucking fine, but before you do, can I just try a couple of things first? You know, for research purposes!”

You frowned. “Try what?”

Katsuki looked around and then picked up a large pole. Handing it to Kirishima, he said, “Hit me with this. As fucking hard as you can.”

“Katsuki!”

“Dude, I am not hitting you with a fucking pole.”

“Oh come on, you fucking chicken. Do it, Shitty Hair! Or are you not manly—”

Ping!

The sound of the pole hitting Katsuki reverberated through the building, causing you to flinch. But when you looked back, you saw that he was fine.

“You call that a fucking hit?! That didn’t even hurt! Let’s try something else!”

“Seriously, dude?”

As the two schemed, you couldn’t help but smile at their antics. Looking down at the syringe, you tightened your hand around it and stashed it in your pocket. You would not be swayed so easily but you had to admit, the true nature of your quirk wasn’t too bad.

A/N2: I apologize for the unimaginative bad guy nicknames. I was struggling with better descriptive ones and finally just gave up.

#boku no hero #boku no hero academia #boku no hero fanfic #my hero academia #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #Female reader #Kirishima Eijirou #bnha #bnha kirishima #fluff #the power of love #inumorph #mha

417 notes · View notes

spaztronautwriter · 4 years

Text

Truth Be Told (an Olicity fic)

Summary: Agent Oliver Queen is prepared to take down Helix and its leader, Cayden James. What he isn't prepared for is the tiny, blonde hacker who's only crime, in his opinion, is stealing his heart.

A/N: This was written for the Olicity Clue challenge. My prompts were: computer, bunker, Cayden James. Can you guess where the title is from ;)

###

“Jonas!”

Oliver’s spine tingled as the name ricocheted off the walls of Helix’s underground bunker. It was a tight space made exclusively of concrete and metal, so the sound traveled louder and further than it would have in, say, a normal room. Not to mention she was using her loud voice again.

He turned, placing the weapon he’d been cleaning back on the table, and saw her walking toward him at a fast clip, her tablet held in one hand, ponytail swinging.

“I thought I said no guns? And yet—” She came to a stop a few feet away, one eyebrow raised. “I have this requisition form for guns.”

She leaned to the right, looking at the table behind him where Rene and Diggle were helping him get everything ready.

“Yeah, well, we need guns for this one.” He shrugged, then turned back to finish putting his weapon back together.

He could feel her angry glare burning a hole in the back of his head, but he ignored it. He couldn’t let her distract him tonight. That seemed to piss her off even more.

“You’re standing in, literally, the most technologically advanced base in probably the world and you need guns to get things done?”

“What would you like me to do, Felicity?” he growled, clicking the magazine into place. “Throw a computer at them?”

She exhaled loudly. “I don’t know why you have to engage anyone at all. I can get you in—“

“Not this time.”

He turned just in time to see her jaw clench. She didn’t like that answer.

Stepping closer, she lowered her voice. “You're going up against guards who are just doing their jobs. Not to mention they could shoot back. You could—“

She snapped her mouth shut, but he could see the concern in her eyes.

Felicity Smoak had a good heart. He honestly had no idea how she’d ended up working for a terrorist group like Helix. He was sure Caden James had tricked her somehow. Just another reason to take that bastard down.

Tonight.

Caden James—Helix—was going down tonight.

A wave of fresh nerves skated through him as he looked down at Felicity. She’d go down with them.

He’d been fighting the urge to clue her in ever since Lyla had okayed his plan, but even if he did, even if she ran, ARGUS already knew who she was. She’d be a fugitive. No, he had to let things play out. Once everyone was safely in custody, then he could talk to Lyla about getting her a deal. If, that was, she would even speak to him after tonight.

As he looked at her, the tiny crease between her forehead deepened and she reached out, placing a hand on his forearm. “Jonas? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he said, giving her hand a quick squeeze before stepping back. “Just need tonight to go well, is all.”

“It will,” she said without hesitation. “I believe in you. And if you say you need guns… Just be careful.”

It took every bit of self discipline he had not to pull her into a private room and confess everything. To not tell her he was an undercover plant, an ARGUS agent tasked with taking down James and his whole operation.

To not tell her he was already half in love with her.

He hadn’t meant to fall for her. He hadn’t even considered anything like that in a long time. But there was just something about her. She’d blindsided him and, for the first time in years, he felt like maybe there was more to life than just the next mission. Which was… unfortunate, considering she was one of Helix’s top hackers. A brilliant, beautiful woman who didn’t belong down here in this bunker, overseeing missions to steal data and computer parts and whatever else Caden James demanded of her.

He really hoped she wasn’t aware of what James was after tonight. He suspected she wasn’t, considering how concerned she was for the innocent guards they would be accosting.

Except they wouldn’t be, of course. ARGUS agents had already taken over the guard detail at the facility they were headed to tonight. Oliver and his small team of inside men had done their part, switching out the ammo in Helix’s small armory for blanks. By the time James knew he’d been double crossed it would be too late.

Two of his men, Rene and Curtis, were staying back at the Helix bunker to help round up James’ team of hackers and cyber criminals. Rene, like Oliver, was just a hired gun in Helix’s eyes, but Curtis was a computer engineer. It was his job to make sure Lyla’s team of agents could get past security when the time came. He had no doubt his men could handle it, but his nerves still fluttered worriedly.

“I’ll be careful,” he said lowly, meeting Felicity’s blue gaze. “We need to get going, though. Mr. James is waiting.”

She looked like she wanted to say something, but she bit her lip, nodding instead.

God, he really hoped she wouldn’t hate him after tonight.

###

Rushing out of the van, gun in hand, men at his back, Oliver felt that familiar surge of adrenaline pumping through his veins.

He’d done a dozen of these missions in his time at ARGUS. He was no stranger to standing between a bad man and his really bad idea. In Caden James’ case, that bad idea involved corrupting the safety systems at the nuclear power plant outside of Starling City.

He’d been briefed on James, a computer genius who’d fallen to the dark side after his son had been murdered. Personally, he didn’t care about the guy’s sob story, just about making sure he didn’t take down any innocent bystanders in his quest for revenge.

His mind flickered to Felicity, imagining how she’d react in just a few minutes when ARGUS stormed the bunker. He tried to shake it off, refocus on the mission as James led them up the gates of the facility.

His comm crackled a split second before her voice filled his ear.

“Jonas?”

He slowed his pace, just enough to not be heard by the others. “Felicity? What is it?”

“I know you guys have Alena with you and she’s good, she knows what she’s doing, but after you left I couldn’t shake this feeling that something was wrong, you know? So I did a scan of the power plant, just to see—“

“Felicity!”

“Right,” she said, reeling herself in from her babble and getting to the point. “There’s a lot of heat signatures coming from inside the building, Jonas. Like, a lot. The plant’s schedule says there should only be about five guards on duty, but there’s almost triple that.”

Of course there were, because Lyla and a whole team full of agents were inside, waiting on Oliver’s signal.

“I’ll take care of it,” he said into his comm as John Diggle, one of Oliver’s men and ARGUS Director Lyla Michaels’ husband, quietly took out the guard at the gate.

It was just for show. The guard was an ARGUS agent, but John made it look good and Caden James and his men didn’t question it. Once the gate was clear, they began moving towards the facility, right for the side door James had pointed out when they’d planned the infiltration. The same side door Oliver had informed Lyla they’d be coming through.

“Jonas!”

This time her voice was more urgent.

“Talk to me.”

He said it, but he really wished she’d stop talking to him. He didn’t need her on the comms when this all went down. Didn’t want to hear how she reacted when—

“The heat signatures are moving towards your location. I don’t see any tripped alarms and Alena already looped the security cameras so I don’t know how they know you’re there, but they do.”

“I’ll handle it, Felicity. Keep the comms clear.”

She didn’t say anything for a long moment and he hoped she’d listened to him, but then, just as James went to work on the electronic locks, his comm crackled again.

“Let me help. Please.”

It was all she said, but he didn’t need to hear anymore. He could hear enough in her tone, the concern that washed over him in ways he wanted to ignore, but couldn’t. Because he was just as concerned for what was about to happen to her.

As James finished with the lock, popping the doors open, Oliver knew with a terrifying clarity that, whatever happened tonight, he had very likely ruined any chance he ever had with Felicity Smoak.

“I’m sorry.”

It was all he could give her.

With a signal, Oliver ordered John through the doors, right to where Lyla and her team were waiting for them. James and his men went next, with Oliver taking up the rear. As soon as they’d made it into the hallway, ARGUS agents flooded in from around a corner, guns drawn.

“Jonas!”

The fear in her voice gutted him, but he pushed through, raising his own gun along with James’ men.

“Caden James,” Lyla said, stepping forward confidently like the unflappable agent Oliver knew her to be. “You’re under arrest. If you lower your weapons and surrender this will go a lot easier for you.”

“And who are you with? FBI? CIA? It doesn’t matter, I suppose.” James smiled calmly, gesturing to Oliver and the other men. “I don't think my men are the surrendering type.”

With that, James took a step back towards the doors, and all but Oliver and John began to fire on ARGUS. Or, they would have if Oliver’s team hadn’t switched out their ammo. The men stared at the guns, the first signs of panic setting in. Alena, James’ right hand woman, plastered herself to the wall, looking like she wanted to vomit.

“What are you idiots doing?” James demanded, taking another step back, right towards Oliver. “Shoot them!”

“They can’t,” Lyla informed him, a smug smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “For a genius, you’re kind of slow on the uptake, aren’t you?”

James took another step back, right into the barrel of Oliver’s gun. One of two that had actual bullets in it.

“Wha—?”

“Hands above your head,” Oliver ordered, pressing the barrel deeper into his spine until the man had no choice but to comply.

James bit back a reply, instead doing as he was told and avoiding the show of force Oliver was itching to let loose on someone, because Felicity? Well, Felicity was a lot faster at putting two and two together than her boss was.

“You were working against us this whole time?” Her voice wavered as he wrenched James’ hands behind his back, securing them with zip ties. “How could yo—Ahh!”

Loud shouting came over Felicity’s comm and then it went dead, leaving Oliver to wonder—worry—about what was happening back at the bunker. As he led James out to the ARGUS transport vans outside, he wondered if someone was doing the same to Felicity. If she was okay. If anyone hurt her he’d…

He wasn’t sure what he’d do, but he was pretty sure he’d get suspended for it.

###

It took three hours to get all of Helix transported back to ARGUS headquarters and into detainment.

Three hours of absolute hell.

All Oliver could hear was Felicity’s betrayed voice in his head. Her strangled scream as ARGUS agents stormed the Helix bunker to arrest her. He could barely even concentrate as he and his team were debriefed by Lyla. He’d asked Rene and Curtis about her as soon as they’d made it back. Their matching smirks normally would have embarrassed him—or pissed him off—but at the time he hadn’t cared. He just needed to know she was alright.

“We took care of her, hoss, don’t worry. Let her ride in the back of our car instead of with the others. She wasn’t very happy with any of us, but she’s fine.”

He hadn’t been able to do much more than shoot them a grateful nod before Lyla had called them into be debriefed. But now, as he stood just outside the interrogation room door, he knew that those three hours weren’t hell. This was. Watching her through the glass as she sat so stiffly, her wrists chained to the table. Her eyes were closed, but even from the hallway he could make out the mascara streaked across her cheeks.

She’d been crying.

And now he had to go speak to her. To tell her everything she believed in was a lie. That the man she’d trusted had been playing her the whole time. He had to look her in the eyes and see the betrayal on her face.

He could get Diggle to do it. In all honesty, he should get Diggle to do it. John Diggle was a good man and Oliver trusted him with Felicity, but he knew that any chance he had of her forgiveness, it began and ended in this interrogation room.

He opened the door.

Her eyes snapped open and, as they met his, the startled fear morphed into disdain in an instant.

His gut rolled.

“You must have questions.”

She tilted her head. “Shouldn’t you be the one with questions? This is supposed to be an interrogation, right?”

She lifted her hands, rattling the chain that bound them. It felt like an accusation and he supposed it was.

“Felicity…”

She shook her head, refusing his pleading tone as he murmured her name. “You were ARGUS this whole time. I trusted you! I—“ She sucked in a breath, leaving her unfinished sentence to float between them, haunting him. “I don’t even know your real name.”

“It’s Oliver. Jonas is my middle name.”

“Oliver.” She closed her eyes briefly. “I know we weren’t doing the most legal things at Helix, but we were trying to help people.”

“Caden James planned to break into and hack a nuclear power plant.”

“Yes,” Felicity argued. “But only to show them how easily their security could be compromised. He was never going to—“

“Felicity…”

She took one look at his face and paled. “No. No, you’re wrong.”

“He contacted the mayor of Starling City two days ago, demanding the release of a prisoner named Ricardo Diaz. Diaz supposedly has some insight into the man who killed James’ son earlier this year.”

“No,” she said again, pressing her lips tightly together and staring at her bound hands.

“He planned to hack the facility and use it as leverage to secure Diaz’s release. Helix was only ever a means to an end, a way to secure knowledge and power. Not to mention money. But after his son was killed, James got sloppy.”

“And that’s where you came in?”

Her tone was sharp, eyes bright and filled with tears. If he’d ever even considered the possibility that she’d known what James was up to, that single look would have proved him wrong.

“That’s where I came in,” he agreed. He’d joined Helix as a mercenary-for-hire soon after and he’d been gathering evidence against James ever since. “Caden James used you, Felicity.”

“Oh, and you didn’t?” She scoffed and shot him a glare.

“He recruited brilliant minds who could easily disappear into his organization,” he went on, ignoring her. “Told you you were doing good deeds, fighting corruption. He used your convictions and morality against you—“

“You used me!”

Her shout echoed around the small room, bouncing off the two way mirror behind him.

“I lied to you,” he admitted, his heart in his throat. “But I never used you. I never manipulated you the way he did.” Oliver lowered his voice, even though he knew no one was listening in. That would come later. For now, it was just the two of them. “And I never, ever thought you were like him.”

She didn’t say anything, but her eyes were still welling and her lips trembled just slightly. Her jaw was tense, as if she were desperately trying to hold another outburst inside.

“Tell me you didn’t know.”

“I didn’t know,” she said, looking down into her lap as her tears spilled down her cheeks. “I didn’t know that both of you were liars.”

His heart cracked in half at that, but he tried to take it in stride. He nodded, then stepped closer. “Someone will be down in a few minutes to ask you some questions.”

Her eyes snapped to his, looking more nervous than angry for the first time since he entered the room.

“It’ll be okay,” he promised. “Just tell the truth.”

She glanced back down at her hands. “That’s ironic.”

He wanted to reach for her, to comfort her in some small way, but he knew it wasn’t wanted. It certainly wasn’t appropriate. He really shouldn’t have even been down here if he wasn’t going to question her, but he just… couldn’t. She wouldn’t cooperate with him and he knew he couldn’t be as disciplined an agent as he needed to be with her. If ARGUS was going to cut her a deal like he was hoping they would, they’d need someone unbiased leading the investigation into her role with Helix. And that wasn’t him.

As hard as it was, he turned to leave, hoping that Lyla would see in her what he did. A brilliant young woman who put her trust in the wrong man and got burnt.

###

Nearly a week after he left Felicity in that interrogation room, Lyla called Oliver into her office.

His stomach had tied in knots when he’d received the message. He hadn’t been able to get much information out of her, but he knew it was Helix related.

After the bust, things had died down quickly. Caden James was high profile and ARGUS brass wanted things kept quiet until they figured out what to do with him. He’d struggled to even get information on Felicity the past few days. All he knew was she had been questioned multiple times by multiple agents, just like the rest of Helix.

He pushed into Lyla’s office, hoping this meeting was about her plans for the prisoners, specifically Felicity.

“Oliver,” Lyla greeted, sitting behind her desk. Diggle was leaning against a bookshelf behind her and he threw Oliver a nod.

“Lyla. John.” He stood in front of Lyla’s desk, hands folded behind his back. “You wanted to see me?”

She leaned forward, spinning her monitor so Oliver could see the screen. A dossier on Felicity was open, displaying a photo taken while they’d been gathering information on Helix. It was just a normal surveillance photo, an image of Felicity on her way to get lunch or coffee. It made his heart ache all the same.

“I wanted to get your opinion on Felicity Smoak. John says you two were… close during your time with Helix.”

Oliver shot a look at Diggle, but the man only shrugged.

“We were friendly.” Which wasn’t a lie. Nothing inappropriate had happened between them. “I think she joined Helix with good intentions and, given the chance, she’d be a valuable asset.”

Lyla’s brows lifted at that. “You think I should recruit her?”

“I think she was manipulated by James and doesn’t deserve to be sent to prison when all she wanted to do was help people.”

Lyla watched him silently, then turned to share a quick look with Diggle. She flipped her monitor back around and sat back in her chair.

“That’s exactly the conclusion I came to after speaking to her.”

Oliver felt the air rush out of him in a relieved sigh, but other than that he tried not to react as Lyla went on.

“I think she’ll be open to a probationary position with ARGUS. It’s better than the few years in Iron Heights she’d get with all the evidence we have against her. Johnny” —she glanced back at her husband with a small smile— “thought you might want to be the one to tell her.”

Oliver’s we’ll practiced mask finally cracked and he blinked at Lyla, then stuttered, “M-Me? No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Alright,” Lyla said, shooting him a strange look. “I thought you might have an easier time convincing her given that you were close, but I’ll talk to her.”

Oliver nodded, ridgedly.

Diggle stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll walk you out.”

Once they were in the hallway, Diggle turned to him, but Oliver beat him to it.

“She hates me, Dig. You send me in and she’ll choose prison.”

Diggle snorted. “Felicity is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. She wouldn’t choose prison, no matter how angry she is with you.”

He conceded the point. Felicity was too smart for that. But still… “I don’t know how to face her.”

“Well, you’ll have to figure it out if she’s gonna be working with us.” Diggle reached out, patting Oliver’s shoulder. “Look, man. She’s feeling betrayed and lied to right now. Give her a little time, she’ll come around.”

Oliver wasn’t so sure, but he nodded anyway.

###

It took him a few days to build up the courage to go see her.

Felicity had, understandably, jumped at Lyla’s offer of a probationary position within ARGUS. From what he’d heard from Diggle and Curtis, her first couple days had gone smoothly. He’d wanted to go see her, even found himself on her floor a few times, but so far had never been brave enough to stop by her desk.

On the fourth day Oliver decided he was done avoiding her. After stopping off at the cafe down the block, he took the elevator up to her floor, coffees in hand. He knew she shared an office with a few other techs, so he was surprised when he stepped inside to find her alone. But not so surprised to find her wholly fixated by the string of code on her computer screen, a red pen dangling from between her lips. It was a sight he’d become used to during his time at Helix.

He cleared his throat.

Startled, the pen fell to her desk and she spun to see him standing awkwardly in the doorway. “Jo— Oliver! Hi.”

“Hi.”

He took a step closer and she scrambled from her seat, meeting him halfway.

“Did you need something? Because everyone’s at lunch and, technically, I’m on probation so I’m not really supposed to be doing anything without supervision which is just—“ She shook her head, then glanced down at his hands, seeming to notice the coffee he was carrying. “Is that for me?”

She seemed excited at the idea that he’d brought her coffee, so he quickly held it out. “Yeah. I know you’re usually always looking for coffee by lunch so…”

She met his gaze, eyes wide and shining in a way that took his breath away. “My hero,” she teased, taking the cup from him.

“How are you?” he choked out as she took a long sip.

“Good. You know, as good as one can be after finding out the secret organization they worked for was actually the bad guys, then joining another secret organization that’s supposedly the good guys, but how am I supposed to really know, you know?” She ran her free hand over her head, smoothing back her ponytail. “God, I feel like Sydney Bristow. Except I don’t know if I could pull off those awesome wigs she always wore. Do spies actually wear wigs?”

Oliver smiled, glad to know she was still herself after everything, babbles and all.

“Not in my experience.”

“That’s too bad,” she said, taking another sip of coffee, then leaning back against one of her coworker’s desks. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment, before meeting his eyes. “I want to apologize. For what I said to you—“

Oliver waved her off. “Don’t worry about it.”

“No, I’ve been thinking about it ever since and… I was hurt. And confused.” She ducked her head. “And pretty scared, honestly.”

He stepped closer, tentatively reaching for her hand. When she didn’t pull away, he wrapped his fingers around hers, giving them a squeeze. “I wanted to tell you. I should have told you.”

“I understand why you couldn’t,” she said with a shake of her head. “I was working with, well, basically terrorists. You had no way of knowing I wasn’t one of them.”

“I knew.” He hoped she could hear the conviction in his voice, see it in his eyes. “And I should have told you.”

Her mouth rounded into a small, surprised circle, as she stared up at him. He squeezed her hand again, shooting her a small smile that she quickly returned.

“You know,” she drawled, biting her lip and stepping closer, their hands still clasped together tightly. “One of the reasons I was so angry with you was because I thought… I thought you were using the way I felt about you against me.”

“The way you felt?” He could barely breathe.

“Mmhm.”

She stepped closer, right up against him.

“Felicity…”

Her eyes slipped shut. “And then you say my name like that and I think I don’t know anything at all.”

She opened her eyes, gazing up at him, and he couldn’t help himself. He reached for her, hands skimming along her waist, leaning down just as she pressed up on her toes—

The elevator dinged and the boisterous sound of her coworkers returning from lunch echoed through the halls.

They pulled apart, Felicity looking adorably embarrassed as the other techs piled back into the room, discussing some tv show or something. Oliver glared at them, frustrated at the interruption, and they all gave him a wide berth as they went back to their desks.

Oliver gestured towards the empty hallway and she shot him a smile, following his lead.

“Have you had lunch?” he asked, watching as she picked at the cardboard sleeve circling her coffee cup.

“No.” She spun, walking backwards in front of him, towards the elevator, a blinding smile lighting her face. “But I could eat.”

#olicity clue #olicity fanfiction #olicity au #olicity fic

39 notes · View notes

heavensdog · 4 years

Text

Plotting Monsters of the Week?

This is a crunch post that should have minimal spoilers! As I’ve been working on Heaven’s Dog (as well as some previous, unfinished projects like a mahou shoujo ttrpg lol), one of the things that comes up a lot for me is how to handle Monsters of the Week when I want to keep the plot tight. They always seem to be so much filler, right? Derived from a studio’s desire to milk the basic premise of the show without changing the status quo too much?

Well, that’s never exactly how it’s felt for me, but for a while I was forced to wonder if that’s what they were for . . . maybe you who are reading this already know what purpose monsters of the week serve and I’m just slow on the uptake, but for those of you who don’t, I wanted to talk a bit about my process when it comes to Monsters of the Week~!

(Cut for length! There may be some book one spoilers as well though! Nothing as major as the last one, lol)

So, the monster of the week format in magical girl stories provides two crucial benefits to the story, regarding pacing and character development.

First of all, the Monster of the Week format allows you to slow the pace down and keep the audience from being too overwhelmed by the sheer amount of drama there is in a good magical girl story (since magical girl stories are traditionally shoujo, there’s a lot of emotional back and forth, and this tends to stick even when the genre receives a demographic shift); it gives you time to appreciate the “before” and “after” beats of the protagonists’s development by letting you really become familiar with who they are before they do all their character growth, and before things like betrayals and deaths come into play too much, it lets you appreciate the role side characters and mascots and everyone have to play.

The Monster of the Week format is not necessary (works by Arina Tanemura almost never use them, for example, and she’s one of my pacing idols while still delivering some pretty heartwrenching emotional turmoil), but it can be really nice to get that nostalgic, summer’s-just-around-the-corner feeling of growing up that is so endearing about the genre. Sailor Moon would not hit nearly as powerfully with Usagi’s development if we didn’t have time to sit with her while her special attack was literally ultrasonic crying.

However, despite all it’s good sides, it can be really hard to work in, because it does dramatically change the pacing, and what exactly are you supposed to put in there while you have all this delicious plot later? It requires you to be good at your more dramatic fantasy plotting as well as slice of life plotting, and then you have to mix them together, and if you do it badly it can just feel like a pacing nightmare . . . but the key is in your protagonists character arc!

So for example, the Agent of Heaven’s character arc in book one is “realizing they can’t go on living the way they have been”; they’ve been stuck since they were a kid, trying to play the hero of what is starting to feel like a losing battle.

So first of all, we need to establish the starting position of the Agent of Heaven -- what is the thing that keeps them pinned in place? What is the core belief that keeps them fighting?

That answer is where the battle in the prologue comes into play -- the Agent of Heaven is fundamentally an outsider who yearns to connect with other people. This is why you get a selection for why they feel disconnected from their family, as well as who they want to connect with the most -- and why the victim of Lapis’s first attack is someone on the fringes of their friend group who yearns to connect to the others.

The victory over the monster of the week then shapes the protagonist’s development -- if the monster of the week is a question posed to the protagonist, then the victory is the answer the protagonist finds to it, and the solution to their emotional dilemma. In the Agent of Heaven’s case, they resolve this conflict by transforming, allowing them to bond with Iriel, and shaping the core belief that if they can help people, they can be deserving to bond with them.

(Obviously, there then need to be choices available so that you can color and shape this belief to what resonates with you, the reader, but that core belief is still at the heart of the Agent of Heaven ahahahah. . . |||orz balancing a strong narrative with reader customization can be a little difficult, but it’s worth it to see what people come up with too . . . . )

However, in the Agent of Heaven’s case, this is the wrong solution, so then the next Monster of the Week battles are designed to challenge that answer: by reminding the Agent of Heaven that they need to rely on other people, that they can’t save everyone, that sometimes they can cause damage too, and that even when you connect to people, relationships take time to develop and you won’t immediately be able to know everything about them.

So these points form the basis of Book One, which is the Monster of the Week book lol:

The first encounter with Flint represents the counter argument “You can’t save everyone”; Rosewood oneshots Flint without the Agent of Heaven being able to do anything to stop it, and then proceeds to try to befriend the Agent of Heaven. This simultaneously takes away someone from the Agent of Heaven and provides the Agent of Heaven with someone new to connect with, despite the Agent’s internal databanks saying “if you can’t save people, you don’t deserve people”; saving people does not change how lonely the Agent is or isn’t, or how much people want to be around them.

The second argument is then that they need to rely on other people, which is a two part argument, I think -- one, being able to rely on other people to watch your back, and two, being able to rely on other people to notice when something is wrong. These involve the Agent of Heaven being threatened by an external and internal source, and Rosewood coming to the rescue even though Rosewood is New To The Picture, for no other reason than Rosewood notices and cares enough to do something about it; this is also the big moment where the Agent learns to rely on Rosewood, to whatever extent, which feeds into how Rosewood’s later actions affect the Agent.

So in this case, we need an external threat that involves the Agent not being able to look after themselves -- so I’ve translated this into a situation where Rosewood drags them out to socialize, and they end up either drunk when Lapis attacks, or else they end up switching drinks with someone who was getting targeted by a sexual predator of some sort and end up roofied; Rosewood is able to protect them long enough for them to transform and they are able to defeat the monster Lapis created without anyone getting hurt because of Rosewood’s help~

Then for the internal threat, the Agent ends up staying home while Iriel, Rosewood and Abaddon go out for something, and Rosewood comes back to find the Agent behaving in a self destructive manner; as they’re helping the Agent calm down and detangle their thoughts, Lapis drops by to visit and things between them and Rosewood escalate, causing a monster to be summoned, and the Agent of Heaven is once again able to rely on Rosewood to defeat it cleanly without doing any damage.

The third argument, “sometimes you are going to hurt people” is then able to become something affirming, allowing the Agent of Heaven to begin learning that they can forgive themselves for doing things that hurt other’s and trying to do better next time, rather than living in a cycle of lashing out and having to deny it in order to protect themselves; when it’s built on the idea that they can connect with people and need to connect with people even if they can’t save everyone, then they can also begin to question the necessity of saving everyone from themselves, and start focusing on the future of what kind of person they want to be.

In this scenario, Rosewood probably gets sick, and Iriel suggests that the Agent of Heaven stay out of trouble until Rosewood is better, since Rosewood is able to keep things so organized, but the Agent ends up seeking out a fight anyway and because Rosewood isn’t there to contain their wrath, they end up causing a lot of damage. Iriel still forgives them, and Rosewood is impressed by how powerful the Agent is, and the Agent is able to consider what they want to do with that power.

And then the final point, when Rosewood betrays the Agent of Heaven, comes with the question of “how can you trust people when it takes time to know their true intentions”, but I’ve talked about that a bit.

Anyway, this turned out a little rambly, but that’s that!

#spoiler #book one spoilers #this kind of lays out a significant portion of the outline of book one but doesn't have as many suprises #it's mostly analysis of the working process #i feel like a magician who has never held a performance in their life but who is nevertheless outlining all their tricks lol #yes i will be revisiting the motw battle in the prologue now that i've figured a lot more about this process out |||orz

18 notes · View notes