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mccardswife · 4 months

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You are enough

heyy! this is my first one shot so it is not the best but feel free to give any tips!

arsenal wfc x teen!reader

warnings: mentions of violence, bruise, angst, sh, a few cuss words, suicidal thoughts, protective awfc and fluff in the end. Please remind me if I have forgotten some! (don't read if you get triggered)

(not proofread so if any mistakes give me a heads up)

word count: 2144

enjoy!

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Being a 16 year old professional football player is not the easiest thing in the world. Yes, you do what you love everyday but it has its up and downs. I signed for arsenal 3 months ago but I had no idea it would be that difficult. I don't feel like I belong here, all the girls on the team are truly amazing don't get me wrong, but it is so hard living up to the standards. Especially when I am me, just me and only me. I don't feel enough

After my alarm went signaling me to get ready for another day of training, the thought of going to training today dreaded me, and it has for weeks. Silence, I lay in my bed in silence just thinking of all the bad things that can happen today. If you are wondering where my parents are, the truth is. I live alone, yes, alone as a 16 year old in England. My parents has never supported me playing footy, not even when I was little. They wanted me to have a career that was meant for "girls" and not "boys", but that sounded bizarre. Football is for everyone, but they don't seem get that into their head. My parents kicked me out when they found out I signed for Arsenal, we lived in London, but since I got kicked out I had to get an apartment for myself. It was pretty hard but my best friend helped me and I am so grateful thankful for her. I have not told the team about me living alone for 6 months, they would go all protective and wanting to know why but I can't tell them, not yet. I don't want to be judged. Saying to the girls that I got kicked out of home, even thinking about it makes me feel so embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

I lay in bed, in pain. Physically and emotionally. Last night, after I was out grocery shopping I took the metro home as always, when a man probably doubled my age walked over to me. I then realized that it was my father, he dragged me into a corner and asked me if I still was into all that "football shit". I got furious and started whisper shout at him, turned out that was not the best idea. He started going about me being a disgrace to the family, not only the family but the world, that no one is ever going to love me for playing football, and then he punched me right in my cheek. I felt thrilling pain in my face, but he grabbed my wrists hard and said in my face "You useless bitch, no one cares about you and never will".

That sentence goes through my mind over and over again. I was almost impossible to fall asleep last night, because of the pain I was in both physically and emotionally. What my father told me, got to my head and I was thinking. Maybe he was right, I am a disgrace, no one will ever love me, maybe if it would be better if I just disappeared.

Well, well. Got to get up for training and stop thinking. Seriously y/n, get your shit together...

I walked downstairs to the bathroom and got dressed and tried to cover the bruise on my cheek that now has gotten all blue, yellow and purple. It was really painful and very difficult but totally worth it when I was done and I literally could not see a damn thing. Then I did the same to the bruises on my wrists and after I tried to cover up the dark bags under my eyes but that was a bit more of a job.

Suddenly I got the urge, the painful urge. I took the hidden blade from the mirror cabinet and drawed lines on my right arm. One, two, three, four.

Then I looked at the clock. Shit, I thought. The training starts in two hours and we have breakfast together in the dining room an hour before. The metro usually took 30 minutes, I packed my bag in a hurry and left.

When I walked in to the facility I heard two voices yelling my name behind me. Lotte and Alessia walked quickly over to me. "You excited for training?" Alessia asked you. "Yes totally" I said in a lie, I think they saw that I lied because it did not look like they believed me at all. "What about you Less and Lotte?" you said to try getting the attention away from you. It seemed that it worked because they said in sync "Yes". Less and Lotte looked at each other and we giggled.

When we walked in to the dining room, everyone was there. I tried to brush off all the looks I got. Why does everyone look so suspicious today...

"Come here Y/n, sit with us", Leah said after I served myself food. Leah sat with Katie, Kim, Lia, Caitlin, Steph, Beth, Viv and Kyra. I walked nervously over to them and sat down in the seat beside Beth. They started talking and I just sat there quietly eating my food being in my thoughts until Viv said "Y/n, you've been quiet, are you good". They looked at me concerned, "Me? Yes of course Im good, just sat thinking about the upcoming training today". I lied straight through my teeth. "Okay, if you're sure. but you can talk to us though", Caitlin said. I just said a quietly thank you, and then we walked to the locker room and got ready for training.

We started doing some light jog then got into some training drills. I was already sweating, it was surprisingly very sunny outside today and I wore a long sleeve training jersey because of my scars. "Aren't you hot in that", said Jen to me. I just simply shrugged her off saying no.

I was so exhausted, my body is so tired and I really want to lay down. When we had water break I just laid down on the grass. Sweating, I rubbed my face because I was so tired.

Beth and Viv walked over worriedly, they have become my unofficial parents after my transfer to Arsenal. They looked shocked when they saw me. "What" I said in a panicked voice. "Why do you have a big black bruise on your cheek?" Beth said, "And on your wrists?" Viv said. "Is something going on at home?" Viv asked with a knowing look. "No, no of course not, why would you assume that".

After training everyone looked worried and concerned, my passes and shots got sloppier and sloppier, I was hurting more and more. When I was about to leave, Kim, Katie, Leah and Jen cornered me. With Beth and Viv looking guilty behind. They brought me into a private room and they started telling me what Beth and Viv told me. Then all of a sudden Kim said "You know, all the team has been worried and concerned for a while, I can't remember how many times the girls have repeatedly come and talked to me". I looked at her ashamed. "Why do you have bruised?" Katie asked, "I just fell" I said, the lie obvious.

I started scratching because my scars got really itchy, I really wanted to just disappear right there and then. Then Leah grabbed my right wrist softly and pulled up my sleeve, the last thing before I broke down was gasps from the girls. I started trying to make up excuses but none of them were having it, "come with us" said Beth, "We will bring you to the medical room and then we want you to tell us everything". I desperately did not want to but I knew it was no chance of me getting out of this.

When we got to the medical room they put me on one of the beds. My scars were infected, that is why they itched so damn much. Jen was cleaning up my bruises while Kim cleaned up my scars. I know the people who worked here could do it but I did not want them right now, it is bad enough that now the whole team knows.

Leah then said in her stern but soft captain voice "Now tell us everything". I tried to tell her that it was nothing. What Katie said broke me "Please babe, we only want to help you. We know it has been hard for you but please". Then I broke down again, full on shaking and crying. Desperately gasping for air.

I started telling them everything, how my parents are and that they has never supported me once for the choices I have made, that I don't feel like I belong here because I am only me... When I spit out the truth about me living alone for 3 months because my parents kicked me out and that they were abusing me for years before, I saw tears in all of the girls faces. It was a heartbreaking sight. I told them how I ran into my father last night and what he did and said to me and I started sobbing again and saying silently to myself "It is true, what he said. I am a reckless disgrace full kid".

"You are enough y/nn, I promise you babe" Viv said. All of the others agree but I could not help believing my fathers words. "Actually me and Beth have been thinking for a while, we have a spare room and big enough place for 3, and you are like our kid. I am being for real, we love you as our own family. All the team does, but we wondered if you wanted to come live with us?" Viv asked me. I was hesitant and I think Beth saw that because she said "We are not taking no for an answer". I felt a smile creep up on my face and as desperate I was trying to hide it all the others saw and started smiling too. I said to Meadema, "thank you moms". I realized what I said "shit fuck, sorry I did not mean to".

"Y/nn it is okay, you have no idea how glad that made us, you are like our kid" Beth and Viv said.

After a while of me telling them about my thoughts, how I have been feeling for the last weeks, they decided to get me into therapy. We have a therapist at the facility so we agreed to be going to her twice a week. "I am grateful for all of you, I really am but I just feel like a bother" I said quietly.

"No babe stop" Jen said, Katie walked over to me, she took her hands on my head and said "You are enough, a hundred times enough". "You are like a younger sister to me, it breaks me to see you like this, not only me but all of us. We and all the team loves you. You are the baby of the team."

"We will always protect you, and we will get your so called parents locked up." Kim said to me. "Not Viv and Beth but the other parents" Jen said in a playful tone.

"That I understand" I said with a smile of my face.

Leah asked me if she could tell the other girls and the Gaffer, she needed to anyway but it was nice she asked me. I said yes then she walked outside.

A few minutes later they all came in. Kyra, being kind of like my annoying twin ran over to me and hanged on for me for dear life in a bear hug. I started explaining to them a bit more, and reassured them that it was not their fault but my manipulative parents.

I also said that I called Viv and Beth mum and that I am moving in with them and Lessi and Laura said at the same time "about damn time". All the team broke out in laughter.

"I am sorry for not telling you but I feel a thousand times better now after telling you, I have been scared and not felt at home here for a while but telling you and knowing that I can count on you girls will help me. The whole team is kind of like my family I never got and I can't ask for more than that. I am so grateful for all of you, and I love you"

"We love you too y/nn", Leah said with the softest most heartwarming smile ever. "You are our family, blood or not you will always be family" Kim said reassuring.

"Always," Katie said

"And you are enough" the team said lovingly.

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olderthannetfic · 13 days

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I always see people who have never been antis, talking about/questioning how some antis even ARE antis when you look at their taste in media - ie the ever famous joke of "Hannigram is #problematique" "but it's a show where he eats people" or whatever.

I thought I'd weigh in as someone who could, hypothetically, be called an ex-anti (which, thankfully, nothing ever really came out of it - it was just very 2014 keyboardwarrior-esque behavior of me being a chronically online young adult who would share posts in a group chat making fun of certain shippers, or reblog posts about how 50shades is The Most Problematic Media Ever to exist -- basically I was an anti with anti-lines of thoughts, but i never, like, a ran a Shipping Discourse Blog or whatever)

For me, personally, it was a few different things. I can now see how it's incredibly hypocritical that teenaged me shipped Light/L, while still thinking that Dramione was Bad And Abusive. It ultimately boiled down to a) being pretentious, and b) just not understanding media or what proshippers REALLY believed, with a side of c) not realizing that nuance exists. like i was pretty late to join tumblr, I think I immigrated here during PEAK "yourfaveisproblematic" era which definitely did have an impact on my opinions and my tastes.

to elaborate, a.) being pretentious. i mean this one just kinda goes without saying. "I engage in media in a way more intellectual way than you do, don't you know that? You're a filthy and disgusting person who writes Snape/Hermione because you're an actually disgusting pedophile IRL who would probably date your own student that you're abusing if you could. Meanwhile, I'm a very smart, good, and pure person. When I read Uncle Vernon/Harry, I'm doing it in a G-d honoring whump way that clearly condemns abuse, incest, and rape. Unlike YOU who only writes harmful stuff as a way to get people off :/"

(as an aside, i think this line of thinking will ALWAYS be present in fandom and popculture in some way, sadly. ie the recent trend of people hating on booktok bc the books are 'trashy' and how these porn addicts should read real classic literature instead.)

as for b.), not understanding media - i cannot emphasize enough that i was GENUINELY stupid and disconnected enough to think that proshippers REALLY WERE pro-All Of The Degenerate Dead Doves That They Wrote.

why did i feel this way? why did i understand that Lolita clearly isnt pro-pedophilia, but for some reason i thought that someone shipping weecest was? well, first of all, i think that fanfiction is (generally) seen as Less Serious than classic literature, and fandom is a fun place, so i guess i somehow thought that every fanfic/fanartist who wrote Problematic Things, especially Problematic Things that they portrayed as Sexy, really DID enjoy the thought of that Actually Happening To Real People.

and i think THIS is the bulk of why antis ARE antis. i'm not calling them all stupid - i do think BEING an anti is stupid, but at the same time, there are people who are truly smart and good-intended people who just have some really off color opinions about, like, homestuck ships or whatever. Lawlight is okay because notebooks that kill people don't exist so it's IMPOSSIBLE for the Harmful Aspects of Light/L to be romanticized! but schoolyard prejudiced bullies DO exist and are a REAL problem so Drarry is BAD (*truly completely unaware of the fact that there's 'realistic' aspects of the Light/L dynamic and 'unrealistic' aspects of Drarry - such as, for example, Hogwarts arguably being even MORE of a fantasy setting than DN is.*) I know that media literacy is the hot buzzword of the year to throw around in 2024, but, like, i really did not have media literacy.

as for c.), not realizing nuance exists - ok "nuance" might not be the best word here, but i dont know how else to describe it. like, each time ive typed the word "problematic" out in this ask, i've done so in a very tongue in cheek/ironic/retroactive way, but, like, those posts about how Everything Is Problematic, Including Your Fave ARE true. and i didn't like the fact that my favorite media or favorite person might've Made A Mistake! i need to Talk About Its Issues Because I'm So Betrayed That My Dear Sweet Comfort Media Would Do This To Me. I Need To Prove I Clearly Condemn It.

like, i legit morally could not justify reblogging a twilight post without adding in the tags '#this is my guilty pleasure it sucks that the books were so racist though' or whatever. Most people were lucky enough to avoid that line of thinking, but there was an actual group of people who felt a genuine need to virtue signal all the time, partly bc, hey, they WERE passionate about talking abt #issues in media, but also bc of a subconscious fear of If You Reblog A Singular Piece Of Hetalia Fanart, You're Literally A Nazi And Will Get A Callout Post Written About You.

and during all of this i was at the tail end of my high school experience (yes i know im younger than most of your audience, ha). i was going through A Lot emotionally, going through a lot of life changes, and lived in a very . . . interesting household/place where i couldn't do ACTUAL good in the world that i was passionate about. so to make up for the fact that i was genuinely in no place to do legit activism, clearly i had to save the gay community by arguing about johnlock queerbaiting or whatever.

^ and honestly i do think that is the position of most antis. theyre isolated and cant seem to do Enough in the Real Scary World so they have to resort to talking about how bad of a person someone is for "shipping abuse", bc theyre not in a situation where they could, for example, ACTUALLY fight the good fight to end abuse or raise awareness for it.

There was way more to it and way more that I could say, if I wanted to, but this post is long enough as it is and probably doesn't make much sense.

I feel bad for antis, honestly, or at least the ones who are antis in the way I used to be.

Oh yes, passionate young fools who think they can at least fix the internet if not their lives make up most of the cannon fodder. Some of the ringleaders are just mini dictators and wannabe cult leaders, but most anti-leaning types are just traumatized or clueless, even a lot of the ones who do serious damage and don't just mock shit in private with their friends.

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allmoshnobrain · 2 months

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𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 33 of 35 | masterpost

word count: 2597 | ao3 link | fic's playlist

I could feel his heart tapping against my fingertips, a bit quicker now, a subtle blush coloring his cheeks. His blonde eyelashes looked almost see-through in the sunlight, his blue eyes sparkling and locked onto mine, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. I brought my hands up to his face, running my fingers over it slowly. He let out a sigh, lightly shutting his eyes like he'd been waiting for my touch his whole life.

✦ on this chapter: dave mustaine x female!oc, james hetfield x female! oc, oc is cliff's cousin, +18, language, slice of life, angst, romance

✦ a/n: Hi, everyone! I posted this chapter a little later than usual because I was too busy today, but it's here! Sorry for the delay. Also, some of you may have already seen this, but: I missed writing about Dave and Nore happy together a lot these last few days, so I posted a small extra chapter set somewhere between chapters 16 and 17 for all my Dave and Nore enjoyers 🖤 You can read it here. Hope you liked reading, feedback is welcome!

✧ you don't have to leave, you could just stay here, with me / forget all the party police, we could find comfort in debauchery ✧

“I should've been there with you,” James's voice, annoyed and concerned, crackled through the phone pressed to my ear. “You shouldn't have dealt with this on your own. I should've been right there beside you.”

“James, it's alright,” I mumbled, sparking a cigarette, propping myself against the payphone stand. It was late afternoon, and I’d dialed James to tell him all about my disastrous mission in Los Angeles. If I wasn't in tears at the moment, it was only because I'd already exhausted my supply in the hours before.

“Of course, it's not okay!” he burst out, matching my frustration. “Did you check with the neighbors? Wasn't there some dude you knew living downstairs?”

“Yeah, Ellefson. He bailed too. Apparently, they moved out together last week. Left no trace for anyone to follow,” I finished the sentence with a tremor in my voice, eyes burning with fresh tears, but I wasn't going to break down now. Not while James was on the line, his concern clear in every word he spoke.

“Fuck. What a mess,” he muttered. “Hey, it's gonna be alright. I think I've got his mom's address; I can try reaching out to her. We'll find him, Nore.”

“Thanks, James,” I said, feeling a bit better knowing that even if the day had turned to crap, he still had my back.

“I'm sorry about all this Pat shit. Had no clue she'd pull a stunt like that.”

“It's fine…”

“No, Nore, it's not. You know, you said the right thing to her. I never want to see that girl again. But I can hop over to Los Angeles if it means making her apologize to you,” he declared, his voice carrying a slightly menacing edge that hinted he might have wanted to go beyond a simple apology.

“James, you really don't have to do that. It'd be just playing into her drama,” I let out a heavy sigh. “All I want is to find Dave and sort this mess out once and for all.”

“We'll track him down, Nore. I promise. Everything's gonna be fine,” James tried to assure me, and I managed a small smile. There was something kinda sweet about how he was going all out to cheer me up, genuinely putting in the effort to help me out, just because it'd make me happy.

James was just impossible not to like.

“I know, Jamie,” I replied, letting the warmth of my smile show in my voice. “Thank you.”

The rest of February breezed by quickly; I suddenly realized that the one-year anniversary of my move to San Francisco had quietly passed. It seemed pretty wild how everything that had unfolded in the last few months had managed to cram into a year, shaping me in more ways than I could express. It was like I'd been a part of the boys’ life forever, like I couldn’t quite picture who I was without them in the frame.

March rolled in, bringing the end of winter closer and closer. As the days lit up and warmed, James and I kept our long-distance communication going. The phone calls from San Francisco to Long Beach, initially a bit spaced out, soon became almost a daily ritual, and I found myself eagerly anticipating those moments in an entirely new way. Sweet words of affection began to find their way into our conversations more frequently. I had to admit, I missed James more than I'd care to confess — not just the tour moments but also his touch, the sound of his voice and laughter, the blue in his eyes, and even the warmth of his kisses and the feel of his body against mine.

Being back at my parents' house had its perks: with no job on my plate and studies yet to kick in, I found myself drowning in free time. I dedicated most of it to diving into my studies and building up a solid portfolio in visual arts, gearing up for the application grind at the San Francisco Art Institute. The prospect of being in the same city as Cliff and the guys again had me stoked, but in a genuinely good way — I could barely contain my excitement for things to click into place.

Another thing gobbling up my time was my newfound camaraderie with Charlotte, one of my old high school friends. She’d been pouring her heart into her debut starring role in a theatre play, and I'd been chipping in as an unofficial production assistant, giving me a reason to hang out with her and break free from my parents’ house for a bit. On a bright Wednesday morning, the moment I stepped into the auditorium where the theater troupe was fine-tuning their craft, Charlotte threw me a curveball with an unexpected ask.

“Nore!” she squealed with excitement upon spotting me, rushing over and grabbing my hands in hers. Her green eyes looked almost teary, and her lips formed a small pout. “Thank goodness you're here. Everything's going haywire today, and I'm not sure if we can sort it out!”

“What’s going on, Charlie?” I inquired, intrigued, as I shrugged off my jacket, tossing it onto one of the chairs in the vacant audience area. “Did the dressing room light decide to bail on us again? You know I'm useless with those things.”

“Of course not!” she retorted, indignant, and I released a low chuckle.

“Just pulling your leg. What's up?”

“I need you to act in the play.”

I blinked, puzzled, furrowing my brow as I crossed my arms.

“You... Hold on, what? Charlie, the play is in two weeks.”

“I know!” she sighed, slumping into one of the chairs, defeated. “Why do you think I'm so desperate? One of the actresses can't perform anymore. And now the director wants to cancel the play because we won't be able to find a replacement on time!”

“And you want me to step in.”

“Yeah!”

“In a play that's premiering in fifteen days?”

“Nore, you've always been fantastic in our school's Drama Club…”

“No way, Charlie! How am I supposed to pull that off?”

“Nore, please, please, please?” she clasped my hand in hers, her eyes pleading. “It's my first lead role, I've been rehearsing for months! I promise to help you with the lines, I'll do anything!”

I sighed, resigned.

“Fine. But you owe me one,” I replied, and she let out an excited squeal before hugging me.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! You won't regret it, I promise!”

Well, she was right — I didn't regret it. Actually, practicing for the play turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought. Plus, scoring some free tickets to hand out to my friends and family made me care a bit less about the crazy deadline to cram all those lines into my brain. Charlie and I basically lived in that auditorium for the next few days; I'd roll in there in the morning and wouldn't bail until way into the evening.

When Saturday rolled around, I decided to escape to San Francisco. Stuff for the band was picking up speed after those European shows. After snagging a deal to record the second album at a studio in Denmark, the guys figured a bash was in order to toast to the good news, and obviously, I had to be there. I arranged with my parents to spend the weekend over at Cliff's place with the boys. Luckily, they had some San Francisco business on the horizon, and agreed to drop by and give me a ride back to Long Beach when it was time to head back home.

I let out a sigh as I hit the old house where I used to live with Cliff, Dave, James, and Lars. It was like nothing had changed, memories still stuck in every nook and cranny; the first chats with the guys, James getting less shy as we got tighter, my first kiss with Dave, the first time we slept together, drinking together, smoking together, laughing together, loving together. And it stung, a sharp and dry ache deep in my chest, with the gut feeling that things would never, ever be the same again.

I mixed with the crowd, strolling into the living room; the first familiar face I bumped into was James', whose eyes lit up seeing me, a grin breaking out. He hustled over, grabbing my face and planting a surprise kiss on my lips, leaving me gasping, my face heating up in a flash.

“James!” I blurted out, pupils dilated in shock as I took a step back.

“My bad. Was that a no-go?” he mumbled, a persistent grin suggesting he had no regrets about the kiss. “Just damn happy you showed up.”

“I’m happy to be here too,” I whispered, my face still warm from his gentle touch.

“Geez, you two are such a clingy couple,” Cliff chimed in, coming over. I blushed, pulling James's hands off my face and avoiding eye contact.

“We're not a couple, Cliff,” I muttered, voice low, his comment knotting something strange and uncomfortable in my chest. “Excuse me, I need a drink,” I spun around, heading for the kitchen.

“Nore, hold up,” Cliff tagged along, standing by my side as I raided the fridge for a beer. “What was that just now?”

“Nothing,” I grunted, popping the kitchen door open and stepping into the backyard. Cliff sighed but joined me, leaning against the porch railing.

“Nothing? Seriously? You're not gonna start keeping secrets from me now, after 19 years?” he came closer, tilting his head to be right in my line of sight, impossible to ignore. I sighed, rolling my eyes at his persistence. “Hey. You and James weren't, like, a thing or something?”

“It's not like that,” I grumbled. “It's just... There's just too much going on, Cliff...”

I told him everything then: how James and I had decided to give in to our feelings during the tour, how I’d tried to find Dave after coming back, how everything went wrong, and now I had no clue where he was. And maybe involving James in all this was a mistake because, frankly, with each passing day, I found myself liking him more while still stuck on my feelings for Dave.

“Well, that sucks,” he remarked after I spilled my story, prompting a nervous little laugh from me. “So, you do like James, then?”

“Of course I like him,” I replied, with a resigned sigh.

“You like him, and yet you were upset because he kissed you just now?” he pressed on, and I rolled my eyes.

“Cliff, it's not that simple…”

"No, I get it ain't," he said, sparking up a joint, taking a slow drag before locking eyes with me, dead serious. "I get you still love Dave. I get you're on this quest to find him, and I'm betting it's gonna happen, Nore. You and him, you'll cross paths again 'cause I know you're head over heels for the guy. I'm pretty damn sure you two will work things out. But..." He hesitated, and I shot him a puzzled look. Cliff usually had his words lined up tight. It wasn’t like him to be unsure about anything.

"But?" I prodded, curious. He let out a sigh.

"But things are changing at warp speed for us, Nore," He handed over the joint, and I grabbed it, taking a slow drag. "We're growing up, for crying out loud. I mean, we're about to cut an album in Europe, can you believe that? A year ago, who would've thought? Things are moving quick, do you really wanna skip the chance to catch some happiness along the way? You don't know when you'll stumble upon Dave. No idea how long it'll take to straighten things out with him. Are you gonna keep dodging happiness till then?"

"Cliff, what are you getting at?"

"What I'm getting at, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but fine, what I mean is maybe you should quit fighting what you feel for James. I mean, you liked him before, but let's be real, you rolled back from Europe completely in love with him, didn't you?"

In love. Those words set my face on fire, my heart doing a marathon, and a zillion butterflies doing somersaults in my stomach. My first instinct was to argue with Cliff, but deep down, he wasn't totally off, was he? If I already had a soft spot for James before, now it was more like a full-blown obsession. It felt like a hunger, like I needed him to fill some kind of void inside of me. And somehow, this crazy feeling coexisted with the love I held for Dave, for the empty space he’d left behind. Everything was so damn new that I could barely wrap my head around it, let alone figure out how to handle it.

"I'm not in love with him," I mumbled weakly, and Cliff chuckled, giving me a shoulder hug.

"You're a lousy liar, you know that?" he said, and I rolled my eyes.

"Hey," a familiar voice called, and I glanced up, blushing when I locked eyes with James, propped against the door frame with a beer in hand. "Nore, everything cool?"

"I'm gonna find Lea," Cliff announced, sidestepping and shooting me a suggestive look before leaving me solo with James. I watched him saunter away, feeling my face heat up, and then turned my attention to James, his blue eyes zeroed in on mine.

"You alright? Sorry about that kiss earlier. Didn't mean to upset you," he said, his voice low, stepping close enough for me to sense the heat of his body. His attentive eyes studied my face, as if trying to decode my feelings from my expression. I sighed, my heart racing in a totally new rhythm when he gently cupped my face, resting my hands on his chest as he leaned in.

"James," I murmured, my voice shaking, almost like I was saying his name for the first time. He gave me a slight smile, his gaze zeroing in on my slightly parted lips with poorly disguised desire.

"What?"

"I don't want you thinking I'm here with you just 'cause I haven't tracked down Dave yet."

"I'd never think that," he whispered, edging even closer.

"James," I murmured again, almost like a prayer, and the way I said his name seemed to light up something hungry in him. He yanked me closer, his mouth crashing onto mine with a deep, needy moan. I sighed, trembling, my fingers tangling in his hair as I surrendered to his kiss, the dawning realization that I couldn't resist him any longer.

Actually, that I didn't want to.

He backed off, peppering soft kisses on my lips before resting his forehead against mine. His hands clung to my waist, tugging me close enough for our bodies to touch.

"I think we should head to my room," he murmured, flashing a smile. I chuckled softly, throwing my arms around his neck, and pulled him into another kiss.

✧ if you'd like to be tagged on the next parts, let me know and I'll add you to the tag list! ❤ ✧

tag list: @killazilla777 @whatsupvic @70srogah @genswine9

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sunlit-haruka · 8 months

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Arturo's talent confuses me a lot

Okay so on this fine 12:30 PM I was thinking about the newest QnA, and how DRDTDev said this in it

And it was always something that intrigued me a lot because I really could not figure out what it meant or why the exact ages of the cast were kept hidden. That is, until I started thinking about everyone's favorite(...?) Ultimate Plastic Surgeon, Arturo Giles. Specifically, his talent in question. Because to put it bluntly: How in the everliving FUCK is Arturo a Plastic Surgeon at his age Now you might wonder just what I mean by that, and as such let me run you down the requirements to be a plastic surgeon in the US from what I have researched:

Now obviously these are only three sources, and this is mainly referring to the US because that is where DRDT takes place, but the point still stands. For Arturo to become a licensed plastic surgeon, he would have to go through a six year program/residency for plastic surgery, obtain a bachelor's degree (or I guess whatever Hope's Peak's version of a bachelors degree is) which is canonically a four-year university in the DRDTverse, as WELL as an extra four years in medical school.

(Now fair warning, I am not the best when it comes to reading comprehension, so there might be some things in the screenshots I linked that I ultimately missed. And if so, you're allowed to (politely) point it out to me !) Even if there are a few things I misread, it still brings into question how Arturo obtained his talent when you look at his possible age Now obviously, as I mentioned before, the DT cast's actual age is a spoiler. But that doesn't mean we can't speculate based on the information we do have from the series

(A challenger has approached: Min Jeung /j) This line from the first bonus episode is the closest thing we get to a clear-cut age for the DT cast, where Unnamed Classmate / Mai says that Min is 18. Unfortunate jinxing aside, this also brings back up the fact that Hope's Peak in the DTverse is a four-year university course akin to US college (I'll actually include a screenshot this time)

So it can be assumed that this bonus episode (and I assume Xander's), takes place during their first year at Hope's Peak, and assuming that the rest of the cast is the same age they were all 18-19 during their first year. But that isn't all ! As remember, these guys have their HPA memories snatched from them, so let's cover that as well

Now, we don't know how long "a few years" could be. It could be only one year like Rose said initially, it could be two, three, hell ten for all we know. However, Min (as posted before) and Xander don't seem to have aged that much in comparison to their current appearences. So I'm going to assume (keyword here, assume) that about three years at most have been taken from them. as that would put them largely around the end of HPA. So with all of this in mind, that would mean that Arturo is around 19-22 during the events of the death game, but even with that considered, that still means that Arturo was scouted and given the title of Ultimate Plastic Surgeon at 18. And that is where my confusion lies since that...is basically impossible DRDT-Dev has clearly thoroughly researched all of the talents of the cast and how they work in the DTverse and in general seems to be very intricate when it comes to their writing, so I highly doubt they would make an oversight like this. There has got to be a reasoning for this. And I can think of three possible ones 1. Arturo is some kind of prodigy in the medical and cosmetic surgery field which could've led to him becoming a plastic surgeon much earlier in life than one typically would 2. Arturo is just straightup lying about his ultimate talent for whatever reason, possibly fabricating the license on his coat. He's obviously not faking his medical knowledge as we've seen in the actual series, but him faking his ultimate isn't exactly ruled out 3. The DRDT cast are much older then we or they realize, and there is another reason why they still look to be in their early 20s (I swear to god if this turns out to be some virtual world shit I am actually going to go insane /lh)

...Or the 4th reason that being I AM looking too deep into this, but whatever it's fun to overanalyze this shit Please let me know what you think, I'd love to hear other people's opinions on this !

#haru chats about drdt #danganronpa despair time #drdt #fanganronpa #arturo giles #drdt arturo #I did not expect my first somewhat analysis post in months to be about Arturo of all characters but eh expect the unexpected

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houseofbrat · 1 month

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I've seen you mention a few times that William will be a failure as king.

Do you think it's mainly because of his ego? I've been watching him for a while. I adore Catherine for various reasons but never really cared that much for him as he seems arrogant and egotistical. Similar to his brother in many ways, but willing to stand by the Crown.

I'm not wholly impressed by earthshot for various reasons, and I'm definitely not impressed with his new pledge to end homelessness. Jumping the gun, making promises that in my opinion, are impossible to keep. Is this saviour mentality why he will unsuccessful?

I'm firmly in the " do the job you have (bread and butter engagements) don't try to be King of the World and make "meaningful impact" - these words smack of egotism to me. Did we ever see the late Queen using words like that? Absolutely not. Just quietly doing her duty and making uniting the country she loved.

Thanks for your thoughts.

(this ask is from 27 June 2023)

I think it'll end up being for a variety of reasons.

First, let's consider this quote about Diana from Kitty Kelley's 1997 book, The Royals, page 457:

Diana publicly reinforced her image as the mother of a future King by talking to Richard Kay about her firstborn son. She bragged that at thirteen he was "taller than his father…and so very different." She belittled Charles by building up William: the son is "decisive"; the son has "sense and sensibility"; the son takes "people for what they are, not who they are." The son is handsome, "not burdened" with stick-out ears. "Tell him he's good looking," wrote Richard Kay after visiting with Diana, "and Wills says he can't be because that would make him vain."

Again, that quote is from 1997. The "positive" image that so many Will & Kate Cultists and Charles-hating Diana stans have is straight from Diana's pr games thirty years ago. Most of the perception of William going to be a "great" king comes straight from the drivel Diana connived to get published in the UK tabs in her hate campaign against Charles.

Yes, William certainly is arrogant and egotistical. Notice how he never bows to The King in public, except during the actual coronation ceremony last year. You see Kate curtseying to The King and Queen in public, but not William. He is petulant, just like his brother. (And sorry Wales stans but keep showing your lack of age when you don't realize that Charles bowed to his parents in public all the time until the last seven to ten years, when he started being treated as a pseudo king because he had been heir-to-the-throne for so damn long.)

Consider now that William has completed more than a year of time as the heir to the throne. Yet, in 2023, he could barely best The Duke of Gloucester in engagement numbers. The Duke of Gloucester is older than King Charles and currently 32nd in the line of succession.

William is hardly more prepared now for being the monarch than he was a year ago. (He has less than eight years to become prepared.) It is plainly obvious to me--and probably a few other people--that he is straight-up avoiding increasing his workload. He is not going to be prepared to be monarch. He has not done enough diplomatic tours. He has not done enough engagements for causes that are not "close" to his heart.

Basically, when it gets down to it, he is setting himself up for failure because he refuses to prepare for the job. When he suddenly becomes king sooner than he would like, he won't be prepared. With his stubborn nature, he's unlikely to seek guidance from anyone within the royal family because he believes himself to be their superior in all things. He inherited his mother's ego and her ability to create her own misfortunes. Serious misfortunes.

#ask #William The Terrible #prince william #William The Prince of Wales #princess diana #Prince & Princess OWN GOALS #The Will & Kate Cult #charles haters #british royal family #Workshy Will #William The Prince of OWN GOALS #William The Weak #quotes #books #Wales Wailers #crazy cambridge stans #Wales fans are CHUMPS #Richard Kay

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xieyaohuan · 9 months

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25 for homewell? 👀

25- Write about your ship bathing or swimming together.

"Want to join me?"

Her body is submerged in the water, only her head peeking out from between the soft silvery bubbles. There's a smile on her face, and he tries to focus on that. Perhaps she's not mad at him. (Her heart is beating a little fast, but it almost always does. It doesn't have to mean anything.)

When she caught him, he expected to be scolded. Instead, she asked him to open the door to her bathroom and come inside, forced him to look her in the eyes.

And now, this.

"There’s enough room for both of us."

She's looking at him expectantly, but his mind is blank. Nothing exists except her eyes, her smile, her voice, her breath, her angry heartbeat. He looks down, shuffles his feet, tries and fails yet again to come up with a response.

This is another test, he knows, one of those that are impossible to pass because he does not understand the rules. Of course he is supposed to refuse, but will she sit him down later and analyze each minute detail, pointing out where he went wrong, which unspoken social rules he broke this time? Of course she will. Everything is always a test with her.

The books he's read won't help him here, and neither will the movies he's watched, not even the etiquette guides she's given him to read. There's nothing he can think of that covers how to behave when you've been trapped like this.

How does she always manage to get him into these types of situations?

Don't worry, she says, her heartbeat still contradicting her words: I'm not mad at you, and he wonders if that is a test, too, what exactly it is that she wants him to apologize for.

I may have broken something, is all he can think of. It was what gave him away. I'm sorry, he says, I'll go clean it up. The words sound clumsy, incoherent, helpless, stupid. She'll think he's stupid.

Her smile is widening; he can sense the muscles on her face contract. No need, she says, I'll take care of it later.

When he raises his eyes a little, he realizes he can see through the walls of the tub, but the water is distorting the shape of her body. He was vaguely aware he couldn't see through water the way he could see through her walls, her desk, her clothes, but he always assumed that was because whenever he tried he was under water himself.

Disappointment mixes with relief.

She notices his gaze, and all he wants is to reassure her that he's not spying on her, that she's safe in the water even from his eyes, but would it really be reassuring to tell her that he looked, if only by accident? (Don't pierce my clothes, I'll know if you do, she told him in their first year, and he almost never does, not when he's in her line of vision at least.)

It was an accident, he says. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Perhaps if he keeps repeating those words, she'll take pity on him and tell him what exactly he has to do, how he can make it up to her.

Take off your clothes, she says, more demanding now. I want you to join me. Don't make me come out of the water.

Everything is a blur as he peels off his gloves before slipping out of his suit.

She's watching him as he folds it and places it on the toilet seat. Somehow taking off his suit top feels a lot stranger than slipping out of his briefs; she's seen him naked below the waist a few times before but never above. Even if he tried to cover his chest, she would still see his shoulders, his arms.

"Come."

One arm emerges from the water, beckoning him closer. There's a smell of alcohol on her breath; her glass by the side of the tub is almost empty. It feels wrong, misplaced; she never drinks when she's with him at the Tower.

But they aren't at the Tower.

He carefully steps into the water, grabbing the side of the tub as if his life depended on it. Her eyes are still on him, so he quickly lowers himself into the water, comforted by the protection it offers; she, too, can't see him underneath layers of bubbles and water.

His head is spinning as she pulls him towards her until his body rests against hers, wrapping her arms around his chest.

I'm sorry- he starts again, but she shushes him and draws him closer, nuzzling her face against his neck.

Don't forget to breathe, she says, or perhaps it's just her constant voice talking in his head again; this keeps happening. Doesn't matter. He takes a deep breath as he sinks a little deeper into the water, closing his eyes and resting his head on her shoulder.

She takes a handful of bubble foam and rubs it into his hair and on his nose until they both have to giggle.

Oh, what am I going to with you, she says, her voice almost sleepy now, but her heart has calmed down and her breathing has slowed.

It takes Homelander a while before he understands that she's neither angry nor afraid nor even displeased by him.

She is fully at ease, and that is the most beautiful realization he has had all day.

#Thank you for the ask!#soft otp meme #anon #asks #homewell #homelander #madelyn stillwell #this fic snippet was created by the magic of deleting the first 500 words I wrote and changing POV #I got the 25 prompt twice but I suppose I can use the second one for Butchlander #soft and gentle enough that it needs no warnings I think

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matcha-kisses · 1 month

Text

III

wordcount: 3.6k+

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"So, Bai, are you ready?" Yao questioned his little sweet.

The duo was currently standing in front of the palace. Today was officially Bai's first day "working" at the palace. She knows that Papa told her she would be the royal sibling's personal servant, but she's not sure how much work they'll give her- considering they're children. But that doesn't stop the bundles of nerves growing in her tummy.

"I guess." Bai answers.

Yao looked at his granddaughter with question. He thought she'd be kicking the doors down to see Azula. Well, actually- Zuko. He knows that Bai says she's excited to see Azula, but he knows the little liar better.

"Bai... what's wrong? You were so excited after the party yesterday? What's caused this change of heart?"

"Well," she started, looking everywhere but at him. "I'm kind of nervous. I know that some of the kids and even the Firelord seemed to like me at Azula's party, but... that was different. What if they just didn't want to cause a scene? What if they really don't like me?"

Yao felt a piece of his heart sink. It hurt him deeply knowing Bai was feeling so insecure. How could she not think she was amazing, he thought to himself.

"Bai. You are worrying for no reason. You are a wonderful, compassionate, beautiful, kind girl. People can't help but like you! And if this family can't see that then they should really do some soul searching." Yao answered proudly.

Bai thought her heart was about to burst with love. She felt tears of appreciation pool at her eyes, but she managed to keep them in control. She didn't want to let her papa see her cry because he would start crying. It's moments like these where she realizes how loved her grandparents made her feel. Gramma always kept encouraging and pushing her even if it seemed impossible. Papa always managed to calm her ever present nerves and diminish her insecurities. She's so undeserving of her grandparents, and she thanks spirits above that they were the ones to raise her.

"Thank you, Papa!" Bai croaked, hugging Yao tightly. "I needed to hear that."

"No problem my sweet." Yao said, engulfing the small child in a hug. "Let's do this, okay?"

Yao stood up and grabbed Bai's tiny hand. Bai wasn't sure how today would go, but she knows her papa had her back the entire time.

You'll be fine, Bai told herself. There's nothing wrong with me being here. It was Firelord Ozai's idea. Besides, I'll only be doing this until Gramma gets back. I can manage being here for a few days.

Bai's thoughts came to a halt when she realized she was back in the palace. She must've been so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't realize she was inside.

"Now, you have to go see Firelord Ozai first. He's going to go over the standards and expectations you must follow." Yao said.

"Me? You mean you're not coming with me?"

Yao started looking at everywhere but the small child. He said nothing but Bai understood that he was saying no.

"But papa! Why? What if I say something wrong?"

"Look, Bai... I'd love to be with you, and truthfully, I'd feel so much better if I was allowed to be back there. But I have my own duties I must attend to. Besides, Firelord Ozai didn't want to talk to me- he wanted to speak to you."

Bai's head lowered in defeat. She understood what her Papa meant, but that didn't mean she liked it any better.

"Well, he won't get ugly will he? Or hurt me, right?"

Yao stayed silent. He couldn't bring himself to answer Bai's question honestly. Firelord Ozai may have treated Yao's family with mercy over the years.

But no amount of mercy can change the monster he truly is.

"Just be very careful how you answer and speak to the Firelord. Please treat him with the upmost respect." Yao begged. "Because if you step out of line in his eyes, then there's nothing I can say, Bai."

Bai's nerves were replaced with full blown fear.

What have I gotten myself into?

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"Ah! Bai, how nice to see you." Firelord Ozai uttered.

"It's a pleasure to see you as well, my liege." Bai timidly spoke.

Firelord Ozai held a nasty smirk on his face- the same one he held from the party. He noticed that the young girl was quite nervous and must be feeling vulnerable.

And he loved it.

Moments like this only confirmed the power Firelord Ozai held. The ability to make or break someone. The choice of sparing a life or destroying it. He's the most feared man in the nations.

"Well, come forth and sit up here. I can't see you back there, Bai."

Bai looked around the Firelord's chamber as she began walking. This must be where meetings of the city and war is held, she thought to herself. Black pillars stood everywhere in the room. Firelord Ozai sat on an ornate covered throne on a higher platform.

He must sit there all the time. So everyone can know that he's higher than you- that he's mightier than you.

What really made Bai nervous was what was surrounding the Fire Lord's platform- a wall of fire. Bai could only imagine how heated this room can get when Firelord Ozai gets furious. She shudders at the thought of him actually hurting someone with this wall. She recalls one memory her Papa told her. A meeting with the royal advisors was being held, and one member made the mistake of bringing up the need of funding the schools. Firelord Ozai lost his mind. The wall of flames stood as high as the roof and the heat coming off was unbearable. Papa told Bai he actually felt scared in that moment, and he didn't even do anything wrong.

I hope I'm never the reason he becomes that enraged.

After what feels like forever, Bai finally bowed down and sat- just like the Fire Lord had asked.

You can do this. You're fine.

"Good." He hissed. "Now, I'm a man of few words Bai so this won't take long. You are here to serve. Specifically, Princess Azula and Prince Zuko. Whatever they ask or want, you do it- no questions asked."

Oh spirits, I hope these children don't choose to torture me.

"Now, Princess Azula and Prince Zuko should be in the training room- they were practicing firebending before you arrived. There, you will find your duties. One of the servants will take show you where to go. After today, though, you will need to memorize the rooms of this palace."

Suddenly, Leang, the servant from the party, came in the chamber. She gave Bai and small smile. Bai was relieved to see a familiar face. She had a feeling she would stick close to Leang.

Bai quickly stood up and headed towards Leang's direction. She couldn't wait to get out of the Fire Lord's presence.

"Oh, Bai?"

Bai hesitantly turned around. She just wanted to leave and start her day, but it seemed like Firelord Ozai had other plans.

What could he possibly have forgotten to tell me?

"I know that your family holds a special place here, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to roam freely and do whatever you please. You may be in the palace, but that doesn't change the fact you're a low life servant. And that's all you'll ever be. Dismissed." He waved off.

Bai nodded her head, not trusting her voice. She felt Leang grab her hand to lead her out of the chamber. Which Bai was very grateful for because she wasn't sure if she would be able to move on her own.

Leang and Bai stayed in silent the whole time they were heading to the training room, which gave Bai plenty of time to think of what the Firelord said.

Bai had never felt so worthless like she felt in that moment. Not once in her whole life did anyone speak down on her like Firelord Ozai had. His words kept ringing in her mind over and over again.

You may be in the palace, but that doesn't change the fact you're a low life servant. And that's all you'll ever be.

"I'm very sorry about how Firelord Ozai spoke to you, Bai." Leang spoke, snapping Bai out of her thoughts.

Bai didn't say anything, only smiled and nodded. She was grateful that Leang was trying to make her feel better, but it wasn't really helping. She's not even sure if Papa could make her feel better at that moment.

"Prince Zuko, it is a pleasure to see you." Leang bowed.

Bai was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't even realize she already made it to the training room. The worst part was that she didn't know how she made it there.

Hopefully, I won't have to come here too much.

Zuko turned around and gazed upon Bai. She managed to look just as pretty as she did lastnight even though she was wearing a red and black kimono- designated for the servants. But what really catches his attention is her eyes. They're so blue and beautiful. He can see the kindess and loves she holds in her eyes- much like his mother. It's just so nice for Zuko to find someone so sweet. You can't always find that here- especially in the palace.

"And as to you." Zuko spoke, responding to Leang.

"You remember Bai here, right? From the party? She's here to serve you and your sister, Prince Zuko. I will leave you two alone; I have other duties I must attend to."

The two tweens were left alone, staring at each other. Both were too afraid to say the first word.

Bai felt her stomach twisting while Zuko's cheeks began to heat up. The tension was almost unbearable for both parties.

I need to say something, Bai thought to herself.

"H-hello, Prince Zuko. It is an honor to be in your extravagant home." Bai said, bowing.

"O-oh um... yes! As well to you. Well, actually not considering we're not in your home, and I don't know if it is extravagant. Not to say it's not! It's just..."

Bai giggled at the prince. Who would've think Firelord Ozai had a son that could be a little awkward at times? But Bai didn't mind; she actually thought it was kind of cute. It made the great prince seem like a regular guy.

"I promise I took no offence, Prince Zuko. And I think I understood what you were trying to say." Bai said.

Zuko let out a little sigh of relief. At least she decided to save me from embarrassment, he thought to himself.

"So, how can I be an assistance to you, Prince Zuko?"

"Well, you can start by calling me just Zuko."

"I'm sorry, what?" Bai questioned. Doesn't he know the position he's in? He's a prince for spirits sake! And he doesn't want to be called by his official title?

"It just sounds a little formal, don't you think?"

"I suppose that's true... but I don't want to get in trouble with your father."

"Well, how about this," the young prince started. "Whenver we're in a larger setting with my father, generals, or councilmen, you can refer to me as Prince Zuko. But when it's just us, you can just call me Zuko."

Bai shook her head in agreement. She liked that idea very much. And, it gave her hope that the prince would want to spend more time alone.

"But as far as official tasks, I don't need you to do anything."

What? That can't be true.

"Well what about cleaning your room? Or finding you food?" Bai asked. Surely, he'd want her to do something.

"Well, usually, the maids come by and clean our room when while we train. And if you work in the kitchen then those servants deliever us food in case we want something."

Bai felt flabbergasted. He's really doesn't have anything for me to do? Oh! But I bet Azula does!

"Well, what about the princess? I'm sure she has something she would she for me to do? And where is she by the way?"

"She got out of training today. She's a prodigy so she doesn't have to train as long as what I have to." Zuko sneered.

Bai felt bad for Zuko. She hated that he must've thought he wasn't as taleneted as his sister. Or better yet, told he doesn't measure up to Azula.

"But, she left you this note. She told me to give it to you. I'm guessing it's your tasks for today."

When Bai grabbed the note, she felt a small shock between her hand and Zuko's. He must've felt it too because he jumped when his hand grazed upon her smaller and softer one. Bai breathlessly giggled and looked up at the prince. He was already holding s small smile and noticed the a light shade of pink on his cheeks. She realized that Zuko has wore that same shade of pink a few times since she's been around. But she was beginning to like it.

After exchanging nothing but small smiles and breathless giggles, Bai took the note from Zuko; She really needed to see what Azula wanted:

Dear Bai,

I'm sorry that I couldn't be with you today; Both Ty Lee and Mai's father came for an important meeting today. But obviously, they're here with me. I only ask that you would do this one task, and stay away from us today. It's nothing personal, really. Mai's just not very comfortable around you. And both girls feel a little embarrassed to be hanging out with someone of your lifestyle. But don't take it personal, Bai. I promise we can hang out together some other time. Besides, you have Zuko so you're not completely alone.

Azula

Bai felt a little of her heart sink. She wasn't upset because those girls didn't like her- it's why they didn't. It just shows the social distance, she supposes. And it didn't help that Azula used the phrase "someone of your lifestyle." It reminded her of what Firelord Ozai said to her earlier. Which is a memory she would like to forget.

"Are you okay, Bai?"

Bai snapped her head up at Zuko, who held a concern look on his head. Azula may have left Bai alone with Zuko, but she was alright with that. She could see that Zuko was different than his family. He didn't treat her like she was different. Bai's never been able to experience that until now.

"Yeah, I-I'm okay. It looks like I have a pretty easy day."

Zuko wasn't sure if Bai was telling the truth on whether she was okay or not, but he didn't want to pry. He didn't know if he was correct, but he was sure Azula said something awful in that letter.

"Oh! I have an idea!" Bai squealed.

"What is it?"

"What if you showed me what you were just practicing?"

Zuko's eyes widen and his mouth dropped. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Y-You want to see me bend?" He asked. There's no way she's serious, he thought to himself.

"Yeah! I've never gotten to see firebending up close before. Besides, Papa and Gramma can't bend so it's not like I ever get to see it. And I'm sure you're really good at it."

Zuko couldn't help the small smile that was growing on his face. No one ever asks to see him bend- not even his father. Everyone is always so infatuated with Azula. They all think she's the greatest firebender of all time. But now, this sweet, beautiful, and innocent girl has asked to see him bend.

"Okay. I didn't do anything super cool in training today so you might be disappointed."

"I'm sure I won't be." Bai said with a smile.

Zuko stands a good distance away from Bai to make sure he doesn't hurt her. He takes a deep breath in, clearing his mind from all distractions. He focuses on channeling his inner energy, just like his teacher taught him.

Zuko leaps in the air and kicks with his left foot which causes a big burst of flame. Once he lands on his feet, he begins punching the air in a rhythmic motion and makes a lot of flames.

Bai watches Zuko in awe. She's never seen something so beautiful. She was always told fire can be dangerous and that you shouldn't even mess with it, but Zuko doesn't make it look dangerous at all.

Zuko was preparing himself to show Bai the new move he learned today. He knows that he hasn't perfected it, but since she looks so genuinely impressed, he wants to show her.

Zuko stops throwing his punches. He gets in the proper stance, squatting with his fits close to his side.

You can do this. You've got this.

Zuko lifts his hands from his side and raises them to the sky, trying to channel all his energy into making one big flame. Except there was one problem.

His big flame was smaller than it was suppose to be. A lot smaller.

Zuko looks at Bai who still holds the same sweet smile on her face, waiting to see what Zuko is trying to do.

Come on Zuko! Before she looses interest!

He raises his hands again, trying to channel all of his energy, but still nothing. Only a tiny flame.

Zuko sighed in defeat, and lowered his head in shame. He was afraid this would happen.

"I'm sorry, Bai. I learned a new move today, but I couldn't do it. I'm sorry you had to see that."

Bai's heart sank. How could Zuko think he was a failure? He may have not gotten the move right, but Bai was still impressed, nevertheless.

"Are you kidding me? That was amazing! I'd never seen anything like it!"

Zuko looked up at Bai. Did I hear her right, he thought to himself.

"Really? But I didn't get the move."

"Well, maybe not, but you still impressed me with those kicks and punches. I've never seen firebending so close, and you did a really good job. And you'll get that new move in, I promise."

Zuko could feel his cheeks heating up. He hopes Bai thinks it's because he was messing with fire. She was the only other person to believe in him besides his mother and uncle. He was very glad that Bai made an appearance again in the palace. He knows it's selfish, but he hopes her Gramma stays sick for a little longer. He knows that's not fair to Bai and that it's wrong to think like that, but that would give him more time to spend with her. He didn't know why, but he liked being around her. Bai made him smile and made him feel like he could do anything. She brought him up when he felt down. Plus, she was so beautiful.

"Thank you, Bai."

All of the negative emotions Bai felt inside was slowly slipping away. She felt at ease with Zuko. He made her feel like she was her own person. He was fun to be around with, and she couldn't wait to spend more time with him this week.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"Where is it? Where is it!"

Ming was searching for her heavy fur coat- she was going to need to where she was going.

"Yes! Finally!"

She grabbed the coat and ran for the door. She didn't have a lot to time so she had to make it quick. She looked in her bag to make sure she had everything. Ming had a far journey ahead of her so it was crucial she was completely prepared.

As she was looking through her bag, she felt something strange. It didn't feel like anything she packed so she took it out to see what is was. When she realized it, tears began to burn her eyes yet again.

It was a family portrait of the Shangs. Bai was just a baby, smiling brightly and being held by her grandparents. Yao and Ming held the same smile Bai had. They took this picture right whenever Yao and Ming took in Bai. They were all so happy back then. She wished she felt the same way now.

Ming put the picture back in her bag and ran to the door. Before she opened the door, Ming looked around the small house one more time. So many memories were held here. So many good memories.

"I hope you two are able to make more." Ming said aloud.

Ming turned away quickly. She wasn't sure she could go through with her plan if she stayed in her home much longer.

She opened the door and quickly headed out. As much as it hurt for her to do this, she knew she had to. It was the only option.

No turning back now.

#avatar aang #atla #aang #avatar zuko #avatar katara #avatar the last airbender #netflix avatar #zuko x reader #zuko fanfic #atla zuko #prince zuko #atla sokka #zuko x oc #avatar live action

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sapphire-weapon · 11 months

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Ok since Ashley and Leon are canon in RE4R, do you think there's a way for them to actually be together? Isn't their situation pretty much impossible since she is the president's daughter and the president's is Leon's direct boss.

I would love to see more of Ashley in the future and to see her interact with Leon after RE4, but I honestly don't see how they could have a relationship, mostly because I feel Leon wouldn't allow himself to get too close to her with his position as an agent and because he probably hates himself and think she deserves better.

What do you think?

The realistic and honest answer is: Leon and Ashley will never be together because Capcom will never commit to the ship, because they don't commit to ships in RE. The only reason why they ever committed to Aeon was because Hideki fucking Kamiya was the director of OG RE2, and he doesn't give a fuck. So, once Kamiya already made a kiss and a declaration of love canon, Capcom was like "welp. I guess we're stuck with that."

The more story-based answer is: President Graham resigns a few months after RE4 (like, basically right after Infinite Darkness) so it's not like Leon and Ashley are going to be stuck in limbo for four or even eight years of her dad's presidency. And, chances are, Leon consciously decided to give Ashley some space after returning home because he didn't want her to become dependent on him.

So, by the time President Graham resigns, that's probably around the time that Leon would want to reach back out to Ashley anyway just to check on her and see how she's doing -- especially since her dad is leaving office and it's not like he'll be able to just drop in on her whenever anymore.

So, the whole "boss's daughter" thing, I don't think would be an issue.

I also don't think that Leon's self-loathing would be an issue, either. I've said it before in previous meta, but I am not entirely sure that Leon actively realizes that he's started to feel some type of way about Ashley -- or, if he does, he's purposefully repressing it. So, I think any developing relationship would happen the same way. I don't think Leon would realize just how serious or intense things were getting until it was too late for him to just back down.

And then, at that point, it's like... A serious conversation has to happen. I don't think Leon's #1 thing would be "I'm not good enough for you." I think it would be more along the lines of "I don't want you to put your life on hold for me." Because, realistically, he can't just commit to being a regular boyfriend type of guy. He has no way of knowing when or even if he'll be around or for how long. He'll inevitably end up missing birthdays and anniversaries and weddings and funerals. They'll never be able to plan anything around his schedule, and he'll never be able to promise her anything, because any promise he makes is one he might not be able to keep.

There's also the issue of basically everything Leon does in his job/life being classified. Would he be willing to share his life with someone that he can't actually... share his life with?

So, at most...? I would see Leon and Ashley having the ultimate on again/off again relationship between his missions -- where, he disappears into radio silence for months on end, but then he inevitably drops back into her life for a few weeks of constant companionship and dates and hot sex, and every single time they tell each other "This has to stop, we can't keep doing this" because it's not fair to either of them emotionally, but it never actually does stop, because the emotions are real, and they both want the relationship to be real, but it just... can't be.

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vvatchword · 26 days

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YOU get a lighthouse. And YOU get a lighthouse. And YOU

I was researching deep-sea diving rigs, historical and otherwise, trying to figure out ways of getting my man Johnny Topside down on the seafloor in full diving gear without smushing him like a bug. Turns out that this is physically impossible. Deep-sea diving in a suit is only doable down to about 120 feet. However, the skyscrapers appear to be many times that size, with enough water overhead to obscure and shield them.

Creative Director Ken Levine is a notorious perfectionist, so the fact that he ignored water pressure is notable. Rapture is just too deep for anybody to be walking around down there.

Easy answer: Rapture is not a real place. It's all symbolism. I would consider BioShock "magical realism." There's plenty of support for this--not only that main characters are allegorical figures, but that BioShock is unquestionably a gnostic allegory, something I missed for years.

I began considering the idea that BioShock is actually a mystical journey, it's just subdued. If you can miss the gnostic foundations, you can miss the mystical traits.

Magical realism in-game includes (spoilers follow):

When the plane crashes, you don't see any other passengers. There were other passengers, and you can hear them, but you don't see them--just signs of them. When I first played the game, I didn't think anything about it; I figured it was an issue of resources and story design. You don't want to flood the level with a bunch of resource-eating, attention-grabbing NPCs. You want to start the story as it should be started: based on you, the individual player.

When you step into the lighthouse, the door shuts behind you and the lights come on. If you are roleplaying as a plane crash victim, that's a little weird. If you are player-in-a-video-game, not so much.

When Atlas reveals himself in the Smuggler Bay level, it's absolutely bizarre once you get past the twist. Why would Fontaine expose himself to danger like that? Well... once you take a step back, it's to realize how goddamn theatrical everything is. You are often required to watch cutscenes past windows--little shows, shall we say?

Speaking of "theatrical," why do you see so many theaters? And note the kind of theaters. We're not talking about movie theaters: we're talking about the theaters upon which one stages plays. When you are introduced to Big Daddies and Little Sisters, it's on a stage. The game is The Truman Show, and you're Truman.

Speaking of theatrical, the Fort Frolic level gives everything away. Constant theaters, but few to no theater screens (you are a real person wandering the false world constructed to teach you); the film reel marked "Irrational Games" in Sander Cohen's private box; pamphlets and posters for "Patrick and Moira." Jack Wynand was not conceived with what was real--the real Eve, Diane McClintock, who represents Rapture's citizens--but with the Shadow Eve, Jasmine Jolene, a fascinating (and false) fabrication reflecting misdirected desires. Listen to Sander Cohen's dialogue and you'll realize he's clearly laying out the entire idea behind the game--he's like its prophet. (I feel like I could write about Fort Frolic for about ten years.)

Eventually all of these elements bring the rest of the story into line: every part of the game experience is tailored to the player's most immediate needs. It becomes a story about ascendence: first accepting one's state, then transcending it. What is campy and goofy about it only ends up bringing attention to what is serious and "real." By bringing attention to its breaks with realism, BioShock hints at its true intent: to be much fucking smarter than it has any right being.

Anyway

Consider this: do you think that all the people on the airplane that Jack crashed went to different versions of the Lighthouse? Perhaps each one experienced a different and manufactured spiritual experience meant to bring them to a higher plane.

It's equally possible that they were nonentities--their unnecessary sacrifices symbolic of the selfish world below where the many are made to serve the one--but then I thought about BioShock Infinite. How equally possible is it that every individual is undergoing the struggle to transcend the false into the true?

That means everyone has a lighthouse... and that includes you and me.

#bioshock #bioshock infinite #jack wynand #vvatchword #vv zootin #this piece ain't great--brain v spongey--but I must speak it into the world

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airiat · 10 months

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writerly thumbprint challenge~

rules: look back on your work, both past and present, finished and unfinished. what are five (or more!) narrative elements, themes, topics or tropes that continuously pop up in your work?

tagged by the distinguished @mareenavee, tagging @banjotea @mongoose-bite @obsidianshadow & anyone else who sees this and is down--tag me!

in particular order: fate, trauma, romance, figurative language, kurt vonnegut(?)

fate

always, always always. it's all i write about. different shades, different depictions, but that's what it comes down to. i'm obsessed. i'm obsessed with the idea that the world could bend itself to bring people who need each other together. what that looks like, what that means, how it falls apart--that's what i live to write.

2. trauma

everyone has it. why would i not write about it? but maybe that's just the psychologist in me. usually, i keep the actual trauma in the past. i write the recovery. i tend to like to spin the most convoluted, fucked up situation i can possibly think of, then work my way back out of it. what would it take for this character to heal? that's what i write.

3. romance

maybe this is not so unique and too broad. i have this yearning to experience every single manifestation of love, but unless i somehow become immortal, that's impossible. it's even impossible to achieve in writing. so, i just write what's otherworldly and entirely unachievable.

lmnit is about two literal chosen ones falling in love; ap&nd is about two people loving each other for literal hundreds of years and shepherding in a new world together, which becomes folklore; awfw is about someone who was literally created to love this one specific person. i suppose northern sky is the mundane outlier, but that one's more just for me anyway.

maybe i'll eat my words somewhere down the line, but i cannot imagine ever writing anything other than romance.

4. figurative language

"who cares if the curtains are blue? that doesn't mean anything!"

yes, it does. for me, it does. well, maybe not the curtains, but most of everything else. i'm heavy, heavy, heavy on metaphor and symbolism. i've always been detail-oriented. it's fun to me to string together a collection of little, significant details to paint the big picture. i'm pointillism. everything has to serve a purpose, to mean something. maybe things are missed by a reader, sometimes. that's okay. maybe they'll get it in the next read, maybe it infiltrated the quiet, hidden part of their mind and they don't realize except to have a whole understanding. but maybe it's misinterpreted. that's okay, too. i account for that. i encourage that. you'll see what you want to see, and get out of it what you need to. i'm just painting my little dots on a canvas.

5. kurt vonnegut?

this one's a little murky to me. i read a few of his books in high school, which was a while ago. slaughterhouse five and cat's cradle were chiefly among them, but there may have been a third or even a fourth. i'd have to read them to be reminded, but i haven't done that yet except for slaughterhouse five. i was going through a time when i thought i had to read widely lauded authors to be taken seriously as a writer. now, i don't care. every single bit of writing has merit. but, then, i would say that i enjoy reading vonnegut. and i would say it just like that: vonnegut. baby, you were 15 years old. it's not that deep. anyway, i'll call him kurt vonnegut now and i'll say it with this gentle sort of affection like he's my grandfather, my predecessor, because i'm fairly certain--i feel it as flicker of kinship in something i hadn't read in ten years--that many of my more metaphysical concepts were born from his. without even realizing it. but i'll need to do a little more investigating on this one.

#my posts #my writing

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gallavich-headcanon · 1 year

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I don’t know that Mickey had direct info on El Chapo honestly (I think he’d already been recaptured at that point) but I do think Mickey had info on how the cartel works and who’s who inside it. Mickey’s smart, a lot smarter then the show sometimes gave him credit for imo, but it’s a practical, survival based, kind of street smarts. Over the show we see Mickey being really observant and quick on his feet in terms of adapting to situations. Add in being raised in what was basically the Milkovich crime family and I bet he got a pretty good lay of the land just by keeping his eyes and ears open. We know he can be good with people who aren’t Ian when he wants to be (conned a guard to break out of jail) and he was a gay kid living in Terry Milkovich’s house for most of his life so I could see him making a kind of mental map of the cartel’s structure just from gossip and reading people. Gotta admit, my first watch through of the groomzilla episodes, I was really expecting Mickey to reveal that it was mostly just a play to get Terry locked up for hate crimes by making it impossible to ignore. I do still wonder what a interesting storyline it would have been if Mickey wasn’t at least partly still an informant after they got out and that was why he kept working with Terry and wasn’t worried about getting a job. It would have made more sense to me but oh well. I also wanted them to get married at the baseball field bc it was their spot! 🦖

Hello again 🦖 anon! Your asks are always fun!

Mickey’s smart, a lot smarter then the show sometimes gave him credit for imo, but it’s a practical, survival based, kind of street smarts. -> I couldn't agree more!!! We got a few examples in canon- he's great at running business and problem solving (and math). I think he realized pretty quick how things work there, and as always used the way people underestimate him for his advantage.

This got me thinking about how Mickey got a female guard to fall in love with him and help him and Damon escape prison. Like the amount of planning and manipulation a person needs for that. Especially as a gay person that was never in a relationship with a woman, but somehow managed to woo that guard.

If I remember correctly Mickey mentions the Sinaloa cartel in 10x12 talking about Terry handing them over to child services for a year so Terry could work for them (?) so maybe he got a lot of info as a kid and hoped some of it would turn the cartel on Terry.

I wonder how much Terry knew about what Mickey did. in s9 Terry tells Ian that Mickey is in Mexico. And there's no way Mickey picked this cartel randomly. Did Terry ever find out Mickey was a snitch? Mickey was helping him move guns and shit in s10, so he must have trusted him enough. What do you think?

The groomzilla episodes -to get Terry locked up for hate crimes -> that's such an interesting plot line! I was also a bit suspicious about it at first! I was kind of waiting to see what happens with the whole idea of recording the wedding and tying Terry to a chair to make him watch it... but nothing happened.

I got to say I would have love to get to see Mickey take Terry down by helping the police but I feel like he's too into the southside rules (Don't snitch, unless it's in order to reunite with the love of your life) to be a police informant.

Oh I wish they got married at the dugouts!!! Unfortunately according to Ian it was the winter and 40 degrees and suppose to snow... I wish they did something there, maybe the proposal or I don't know, them sitting there planning the wedding.

#🦖 anon #my thoughts #gallavich headcanons #shameless meta #shameless #asks #my headcanons

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spookychick78 · 6 months

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End Of The Line

Chapter 30: Hey Driver

Thomas Hewitt X AFAB!OC

Word Count: 4734

Warnings: None

Her frail arms returned his embrace, weaker than he remembered, but just as comforting. He clung to her, afraid that if he let go she'd disappear into thin air before his eyes. He ignored the bus driver's honking as he stepped back to let the doors close, carrying Luda with him as he did so. He wasn't about to let the man's impatience ruin this reunion that he believed impossible. He was so sure she had died, whether it was the fire or time that had killed her he had never decided, but to have her there caused him to unravel. To feel her hand reach it's way up to the back of his head so she could comfort him as he sobbed was something he hadn't realized he needed so desperately. She was just as undone as he was, her tears seeped through his shirt to rest on his chest as she hugged him as tightly as she could.

"Oh, I thought I'd never see your sweet face again," she said with a sniffle, "I never thought- Tommy, I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner."

He hunched over and buried his face in the crook of her neck to let his tears fall unseen as she held him. The bus had long since left and he didn't care at all. Mama was there, telling him it was okay, that he was okay when he was so far from it in that moment. Ten years of grief stained her shoulders as she let him cry until he finally took a deep breath and lifted his head.

She rested her hand on his cheek as he looked down at her, smiling through the bittersweet tears that continued to pour out. She looked different, worn from traveling. Her hair had lost its gray and instead, turned a stark white. It was thinner too, he noticed as the breeze sent the wispier strands around her face flying. Though she smiled up at him, he could see the sadness that lingered behind it. She knew. Her nose scrunched up before she lowered her head and brought her hand back to wipe some of her tears away.

"I didn't wanna be there for it," she said softly, "'spose that's why I came late, just wanted to hear the news firsthand, I guess. I didn't expect to see you here neither."

She lifted her head again, squinting in the sunlight as she studied his somber expression, "He's gone, idn't he?"

Thomas nodded his head and she let out a relieved sigh, "You know, I felt it. It was like suddenly the air was easier to breathe in, not quite as dense as it was while he was here."

A silence fell over them when he gave her soft smile in agreement. He lowered his gaze to her feet and her brow furrowed as more tears started to sting her eyes.

"Thomas, I'm so sorry," Luda whispered with a crack in her gentle tone.

It stung a bit, because he knew what she meant. She wasn't sorry for Hoyt, it was Ronnie that had caused pain to break her voice.

"I tried to stop him, but after you two left, he changed. He'd been bad before, but somethin' inside him got worse and if I'm bein' honest, I think it drove him mad. He stayed down there for a few days, lyin' on that table. He could move, he just didn't feel like it I guess, so he didn't. I kept thinkin' I should have wanted to check in on him, as awful as that man was, he was my son, but I just couldn't do it. I don't know if it was fear or anger that kept me away, but I didn't wanna see him. When he finally came back upstairs, that's when Monty and I saw it. He was quiet and we both know that idn't-" she stopped and shook her head as she pressed her lips together before she continued, "wudn't like him. He kept his head down, stayed clear of me and Monty like he'd catch sick or somethin', but he watched. Sometimes from that car, even though it didn't drive no more, sometimes from his chair like he did when he had you down there in the basement. It was like he was waitin' for somethin' to crawl outta there, a sign of sorts. I kept wantin' to figure out what it was he was thinkin', but Thomas I couldn't look at him, it scared me stiff to. His eyes were so black, even after the bruises faded, they were so dark, empty. I knew it was only a matter of time 'til whatever it was goin' on in his head made itself known and it did. It did."

She paused for a moment, brows furrowed atop wide eyes that had seen more than a lifetime of horror, but some was too much for her to bear and it was evident in the way her gaze fixated on his chest. It wasn't him she was looking at, not internally. It was the memory she had to prepare herself to share that had captivated her so completely.

"He went back down there one night, after we'd gone to bed. It wasn't too unusual, he'd done it a time or two before, disappeared for awhile, but that night I heard him talkin'. I don't know who or what was down there with him, or really, what was in him, but it had gotten tired of bein' locked up and it wanted out. I heard the stairs creak and figured he'd worn himself out rantin' in the mirror, but when he got to the hallway, I heard it draggin' along the wood behind his feet. I don't know how I knew, but I did and I wanted to tear myself out of bed before he opened Monty's door, but I couldn't. I sat up, but my legs wouldn't move. They were stuck, just like my eyes, sealed shut, but I heard him pull that switch and I heard that awful sound and I heard Monty-"

Her voice caved in on itself before she turned her face away from him, searching for respite in the horizon. Her eyes whipped back and forth for a moment as she gathered herself with a quick breath to look at him, but she found comfort in keeping her gaze at his feet. Thomas rested his hand on her shoulder and she squeezed her eyes shut at his touch.

"There was nothin' I could do, Tommy. I don't even know why he did it, he just snapped and I just sat there and waited, because I knew I was next. It felt like hours on the edge of bed after the saw shut off, watchin' the door and the silence didn't help. It was dreadful and all I kept thinkin' was why. Why Monty? He'd never done a damn thing to him, always kept out of his way, respected him even if he didn't deserve it and he never challenged him, not like the rest of us. All he ever did was cling to Hoyt's good side and it ain't no secret why, he was terrified of him. Scared to death that very thing Hoyt did would happen to him if he didn't walk the line, but that didn't matter none. He was easy, all he could do to defend himself was beg and that's exactly why Hoyt did it. He wanted to be begged for mercy, he wanted to know what it felt like and most of all, I think he wanted to be you, Tommy. After you left it became real hard to deny who'd really kept us goin' for as long as we did. He may have been the one pullin' the strings, makin' you do the things you did, but without you he had nothin', no muscle, no strength, no power. He finally figured that out and it was jealousy that ruined him. He couldn't let you go and he couldn't be you either and it ate at him until there was nothin' left to take. Left him empty, just a vessel ready to be used by whatever it was he found down there in the basement or his own damned subconscious. He let it take over, then he left, but not without leavin' one last message. After he finished with Monty he went back downstairs, didn't come for me, instead he left me there, probably hopin' the smoke would do me in 'cause he didn't have the guts to do it himself. I'd already gone to Monty by the time I smelled it, he must have drowned the basement in gasoline 'cause it caught quick. I won't lie to you, after seein' what he done to your uncle, I thought maybe I'd just sit there by him and burn, but that wudn't as easy as I thought it'd be, not when deaths lyin' there next to you. The smoke didn't help either, it didn't seem to matter how much of it I breathed in, it just wouldn't knock me out like I was hopin' it would. It just hurt and lookin' at Monty made it hard to stick to my guns. His eyes were still open, wide, frozen in fear of whatever it was he saw at the end and I don't think I was ready to see it, 'cause I ran. It's a miracle I got out, 'cause there wasn't an inch of that house that fire hadn't kissed. I almost didn't, the door wouldn't budge, but I was more afraid to burn than bleed so the window was where I went, right through it. When I didn't find him out there I thought he'd had the same idea I'd had and just let himself burn. It was foolish of me to think it, Hoyt always thought too highly of himself to accept a fate like that, but I wish he had. I wish he'd burned."

Her head nodded up and down as she let those last words hang a moment between them. Thomas was still, he kept his gaze focused on her and the way she trembled as she thought of what to say next. She seemed intent on dancing around Ronnie's name for the time being, but he knew it was coming and he wished she wouldn't have been so frightened to bring her up. It pained him that her memory still brought such sadness.

"I wanted to find y'all, but I had to find money first. I ended up at a diner, worked when I could, slept where I could and after awhile I made my peace with the fact that I'd probably never see either of you again. I knew you were safe and I held on to that, I knew Ronnie would make sure you all were. It was easy to trust that, she had a way of makin' the best outta the lowest lows, that determination she had was a force to be reckoned with," she smiled as she thought back on her daughter in-law, but it faded as she continued, "I guess that's what made the words I read in that paper so hard to believe."

Thomas' brow furrowed. He didn't understand how the news of a woman's death in New Mexico had found its way to Travis county, but Luda was quick to put his confusion to rest.

"It must have been fate, 'cause if Hoyt hadn't started runnin' his mouth about that fire, I don't think I would have ever known, but there it was. I didn't recognize the name since she always went by 'Ronnie' and we never managed to get a last name outta that girl, but I kept on readin'. 'Man condemned to death for the murder of Veronica Spencer claims evidence connected to a number of unsolved murders may be found in the remains of a Travis County house fire'. I didn't have to flip the page and see his damn mugshot to know it was him they were talkin' about and it was Ronnie Hewitt he'd killed."

Short for a name I don't care too much for, he remembered some of the first words Ronnie had ever spoken to him with a somber smile. He lowered his gaze to the ground when he realized Luda must have only just discovered she was gone.

"When I saw the date of her death it broke me. Ten years you've been grievin' her and I was none the wiser. I wasn't here and I should have been. I don't think I'll ever stop kickin' myself for that," she said as she shook her head solemnly.

Thomas shook his head as well, he didn't blame her in the slightest, but he shared her sentiments. There were some things he himself would never stop kicking himself for just the same. Luda finally looked back up at him and that shadow of guilt that hung over his bowed head didn't slip past her. She reached forward and grabbed both of his hands in hers, which managed to get him to meet her eyes once more.

"Thomas Brown Hewitt, don't you dare tell me you been blamin' yourself all these years," she said sternly.

He was quick to look away as his chest rose up with the breath he quickly took in to quell the threat of further tears. He had been, in every which way possible. His compunction on the matter had buried itself so deep he imagined it would one day be found inscribed upon his bones. 'Guilty', whoever dug him up would read in the dust. He had yet to find any other way to remember that day without repeating 'you should have been there'. He'd even had times he felt he should have been there the very moment Ronnie had met Hoyt, to hold him back as he watched her drive away, untouched. He would have gladly lived a life without her if it meant she would have gotten to live her's. He could have contented himself with that if he'd seen what allowing her to love him and granting himself the pleasure of loving her would ultimately lead to.

"That is not what she would want and you know that," Luda said as she squeezed his hands.

He returned her grip as he tried to keep his shoulders from trembling with each forced breath. Luda's expression softened as she watched him deny any more tears passage. The loss he'd suffered was palpable, she felt it in her palms and it ran through her until it reached well past the barriers of her heart. He was still filled with so much love for her, just as he had been the last Luda saw him and she knew it was the kind of love that doesn't simply pass with time. Ronnie was to Thomas what wings were to birds. They could live without them, sure, but a life without touching the sky when it was just barely out of reach would steal the song from their mouths, they'd have no reason to sing if they were forbidden to glide the breeze. There were no words to describe how cruel what Hoyt had done to him was, but she couldn't allow him to bear the guilt any longer. He may have lost his wings, but Luda knew for certain he'd find his song again. He'd find his way back to the sky.

"Thomas, I know words can only do so much and I know I can't put an end to your pain, not completely, but you know me," Luda said as a delicate smile pulled at the edges of her mouth.

Thomas chuckled lightly as she spoke, "I gotta try and not only 'cause I'm your mama, it's just who I am."

She looked up at him softly. That motherly outpour of love she had for him bubbled up to the surface and for a moment, he felt as though he was a boy again as he observed it in her. She rested one of his hands in her's and covered his knuckles with her palm as she considered her words quietly.

"Where you and I come from there's a finality in death, an end that comes swift and hard. We were the ones who delivered it, we were takers and you grew up learnin' to walk side by side with it, with death. We didn't think about after, 'cause we had no use for it. After was simply figurin' out how to cover up the smell, keep the rot away as long as we could. We dealt with the physical parts of it, but I have feelin' it wudn't just me who heard it when the lights went out and night came. The cries never really went away, their mourning lingered in the walls of that house, maybe even inside us, 'cause sometimes I still hear it. Conscience, I think is why we heard it and Hoyt didn't, least I don't think he did. He was empty, like I said before and we came real close to bein' just like he was, then she showed up," she smiled again like before, softly, but this time it didn't fade as she continued, "When Ronnie came along it became pretty clear who the holy and damned were. Sometimes I wonder what she must've made of us in those first few months surrounded by all that harshness and how on earth she found a way to look at us kindly, but she did. I watched her make a decision to lay herself down and be a bridge between that valley that separates good and evil so that you could walk across, become whole. She stayed like that until she got me there too and she even gave Hoyt a shot. You laid yourself down in her place to be his bridge because of what she taught you and he burned you. He did that, Thomas, not you. What you did was somethin' I know in my heart she's proud of, because it took more than strength, it took grace, which is exactly why she loved you. That woman loved you so much, Thomas and she would never think to blame you for what happened to her. It's not that some people aren't meant to be saved, it's that they don't wanna be and Hoyt," she shook her head with a click of her tongue, "he didn't wanna be. He was wicked and quite content with bein' so, but that's where finality comes in. You and I, we won't see the likes of him no more because of that choice he made. He's gone, but Ronnie . . . We'll see her again. In fact, she's still here, she's the bridge. We just gotta keep walkin' along until we get to the end and she'll be there, waitin' for you with that pretty little smile she always had."

Thomas wanted to believe what she'd said, he wanted to believe there was a place where she was indeed waiting and that he would be granted passage, but his brow furrowed. That contrition in his bones boiled up and brought with it doubt. It clouded the image that Luda had painted in a darkness he felt he was destined to die in, alone and forever unable to reach her. Thomas didn't fear death, it was the 'after' Luda spoke of that terrified him. He lacked the certainty she had of who exactly it would be waiting for him when he closed his eyes for the last time.

"Now, that's not to say the journeys easy, it rarely ever is, but you gotta hold onto that, Tommy, for your own sake and remember where she is, she don't feel this," she said as she reached up to pat the center of his chest, right where it always ached, "that's just for those of us left behind. I'll let you in on a little secret though, it dudn't always have to hurt this bad, but that's a decision only you can make, baby. You can choose to stand in the heaviest part of the storm for the rest of your life, or you can turn that corner where it may still be rainin', but not quite as hard. That's where you can heal, Tommy, but you gotta forgive yourself to get there. All that grace you gave Hoyt, give it to yourself and turn the corner for Ronnie, 'cause that's where you'll find her. Nothin's ever just bad, there's always good to be found, a silver linin', a purpose and you'll find it, even in this."

Thomas pondered her words for a moment, specifically the last few she'd used. He thought back to just a little while before when he'd heard the same phrase within his own mind and that hand he'd felt on his shoulder. He'd put his trust in it then and it led him to forgiveness once and for someone far less deserving, it made him think that perhaps Mama was right. It had to have been his imagination, he thought to himself, but it sure seemed as if it was someone else speaking to him through her. There was a familiar kindness in her eyes that only furthered that idea and he smiled at her. He had asked Ronnie to trust him years before, maybe it was his turn to be put in the same position.

Another bus rolled up and threw its doors open for them, "Come on, let's get you home," Luda said with one last squeeze of his hand.

The ride back was quiet, but comforting. He watched Luda study the rocky countryside out the window with wonder, occasionally commenting on its beauty. It was a sight behold, that hadn't changed throughout the years, but mountains rarely did. It took a lot to move them, time and rain seemed to be the only thing they answered to, much like Thomas. Time and rain, he repeated silently as they stepped off of the bus to finish the rest of the journey in the truck. The closer they got to home, it became time and rain and Ronnie he kept hearing and he figured if mountains could find it within themselves to move, perhaps he could too. Perhaps forgiveness was something he'd find when the rain died down within.

The sun had just begun to set when they pulled in the driveway and Thomas breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Penny's bike parked on the porch. It was the first time he'd let her ride home alone, a decision he did not make lightly, but she had reassured him stubbornly that one trip from the bus stop and back was certainly something she could handle. She was right, he knew she was, but worry was something instilled in Thomas and for good reason. Penny would never quite escape that, even if she grew up tougher than nails as she said she would, he'd always worry.

He put the car the in park and before their boots even hit the gravel, the front door flew open. A proud smile tugged at his lips when he heard Mama gasp beside him. He turned to see her hand was over her mouth and tears had filled her eyes once more, the joyful kind she had when she saw him at the bus stop, but there was awe in these. He turned back to Penny, who stood on the first step of the porch, taller than the average twelve year old, but still so little to him. Her hair had grown wild, an untamed mess of dirty blonde curls that she'd tied into that braid he'd finally figured out how to recreate after years of failed attempts. Her eyes were bluer than a mountain spring, the sky above paled in comparison in his humble opinion. When she smiled, as she was then with her head tilted to the side in curiosity at the woman in the passenger seat, it was easy to tell who's daughter she was.

"Thomas, she looks," Luda started to whisper.

"Just like her," he whispered back with that proud smile shining bright as sunlight.

When Penny hopped off the step, Luda quickly wiped her tears and turned to Thomas, "Oh, god I don't want her to see me cryin' like this, but I don't think I can help myself," she said with a sniffle, "I don't wanna scare her off."

"She don't scare easy," Thomas reassured her as he stepped out of the truck.

Penny planted her boots in the gravel by the front of the car and craned her neck up, with her hands on her hips as Thomas walked up to stand beside her, "Well, ain't you gonna introduce me?" She asked with that sly look she wore when she knew he had no choice but to speak, "Or should I do that myself?"

Thomas chuckled and quickly ruffled her hair, causing her to stumble back to escape his teasing. Luda slowly walked around the front of the truck, still drying tears that just wouldn't stop coming and stood in front of them. She had so many things she wanted to say and yet, none at all. It was almost too shocking that they were face to face, only she wasn't the little bundle Luda hadn't even gotten to hold all those years ago. The grandchild she'd resigned herself to seeing only in dreams. She was beautiful and she didn't seem bothered by Luda's tears in the slightest, she looked upon her kindly before she broke the silence without any words at all. Instead of speaking, Penny walked forward and tightly wrapped her arms around Luda. She didn't remove herself quickly either, she stayed like that until Luda's shock wore off enough for her to return the child's embrace. Words didn't need to be said, no introduction was necessary. Penny knew who she was and she knew her well. She'd lived in those bedtime stories along with her mother and finally, she no longer had to use her imagination to know what a motherly embrace felt like. It was close enough to feel like home.

"I never thought I'd get to meet you," Luda said through her sniffling as she rested a hand on Penny's blonde head.

"We've met, just in story," Penny whispered before she pulled back to study her grandmother, "now we get to share one."

Luda chuckled through her tears and Penny beamed at her before she brought her in for another hug. Luda glanced up at Thomas over Penny's shoulder to see that old familiar glint in his eyes. He had found happiness and it hadn't gone away, not completely. She was still there, Luda could feel her in Penny's arms, in her warmth and she knew that's what had kept Thomas going. Just as it should be. He had indeed found a way to live for her and he had found his smile again, his song. The tune was different as was the kind of love it carried, but it's melody was just as strong and enduring.

"You're stayin, right?" Penny asked before she stepped back once more.

"'Spose if your daddy don't mind, I could," Luda said with a glance around at her surroundings, "I don't think Texas'll miss me too much."

"She is," Thomas interjected with a nod.

"He speaks," Penny exclaimed with a little grin at her father, "but, I have a feelin' you and I'll do more of that."

"I've been known to run my mouth from time to time," Luda said with raised eyebrows and a chuckle.

"Good, we can both drive him nuts," Penny teased before she motioned for them to follow her back to the house, "I've got some sort of dinner started. I ain't the best cook, but I think it's edible. For the most part. Y'all wanna catch a cold or get to eatin'?"

Thomas shook his head with a laugh as they watched her scurry back into the house. It was most definitely not edible, he was certain of that by the smell of burnt bread greeting them in air, but he wouldn't let her know that.

"Oh, Thomas," Luda said.

He turned to see her nodding her head, still gazing at the opened front door where Penny'd disappeared into with a gentle smile, "She's still here."

#thomas hewitt #texas chainsaw the beginning #thomas hewitt fanfic #horror writing #writerscommunity #writer #writing #slasher #slasher fandom #horror #horror fiction #slasher fanfiction #horror fan #horror fanfiction #writers on tumblr

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jack-o-cel · 2 years

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Picture this, Im at HHN waiting in line to go through the Halloween house, it's a 75 minute wait. I think to myself. What if i pass the time writing Michael Myers fluff while waiting to go to his haunted maze >:3

Also

[throws random oc i made on the spot cause i thrive on third person pov, but not fond of using (y/n]

Nil is very vaguely written tho, like i don't go into how they look so it's more inclusive.

All it took was a look

Michael Myers x gn!oc

It had been raining all day and well into the night. It was a miracle of the gods that Nil managed to convince Michael not to go out in the downpour. It took bribing him with a large meal of his choice, and freedom for him to boss Nil around as he pleased for a few days. The latter of which they were very reluctant to agree to, but they didn't want their boogeyman getting sick (even though Nil was convinced that was impossible).

Nil glanced up from their meal. Michael was wolfing down his food, his mask hanging off the top of the chair. They admired his golden hair draped against half his face. His eyes piercing behind his locks as he stayed focused at his task. Nil felt truly honored that Michael trusted them enough to show his face to them. It's been months, and yet they still find him so... beautiful. Like a marble statue.

Suddenly, Nil had found themself torn from their thoughts as Micheals cold gaze burned into their forehead. He had tilted his head. His fork was still in midair, frozen in place as he watched Nil curiously.

They tested how long Michael would stay in place, unmoving. After a long awkard minute, Nil realized he wasn't gonna move until they gave him an answer.

Nil picked up their glass of water, and brought it to their lips. "You're really pretty to look at it" They had attempted to mumble into their water, bubbles formed as their words muffled. Their original sentence lost.

Michael lowered his fork, but continued to stare. His eyes more stern than before, but Nil could of sworn they saw a hint of smugness. They knew exactly what he meant. They pout internally, regretting their deal.

"You're really pretty to look at!" Nil blurts out quickly as they admire the shape of the kitchen tiles. It's a little dirty. Mud stains dried from Michaels outing yesterday, with traces of blood only noticable to the trained eye. Nil traced the cracks on the floor with their eyes, ignoring the approaching footsteps.

When the view of tiles were replaced by shoes, Nil absorbed the old dirty boots the boogeyman wore. Instead of looking up to meet Michael's gaze, Nil could feel them searing into their head.

Forcefully, Michael grabs Nil's chin. In the blink of an eye they found themself staring deep into the killers eyes. They wouldn't dare look away. Not out of fear. Nil felt almost entraced by the way hus eyes shone so close to them.

Nil felt his breath on their face. They blink a few times, trying to process when Michael got so close.

Their heart raced in their chest. Nil tried to move back, but instead moved forward. They gasped.

Not in a million years would they think he'd be so soft against them with a distinct roughness in his motions.

Nil didn't have much experience on what a kiss is supposed to feel like. But they're sure that this is the best they'll ever experience, and hopefully it won't be the last.

#it comes off as sudden #but i swear theres lore i came up with while writing #that makes this make sense #also it's very self indulgent so #i do what i want #michael myers x reader #michael myers #x reader #x oc #Halloween #hhn #slasher #slashers #slasher x reader #slasher x oc

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bayisdying · 1 year

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Lucky Penny - Chapter Six

A/N: Sooooo let's try this again, thanks Tumblr. Anyways, as always I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It's short, sweet, and to the point. Chapter Seven will have some more action 😉 as always feedback is much appreciated and encouraged 🥰

One thing about Mickey "Fanboy" Garcia is that he was a heavy sleeper - not even the Navy could take that away. However, one thing was sure to always wake him up, Lucky. So when he heard her soft voice coaxing him awake he opened his eyes to the bright lights of the medical bay.

Sometime in the night he gone from the chair next to her bed, to cuddled up to her in the bed.

"!Buenos dios sol¡" He whispered in her ear, before realizing they had company. His eyes widened as he noticed Coyote still in the bed next to hers. And the nurse-oh shit.

"I'm so sorry Miss." He started but the nurse stopped him. Her name tag introduced her as Emily.

"It's okay Lt. Garcia, these two filled me in on why you're here. I think it's sweet. I won't tell on you."

After Emily took another round of vitals, Coyote and Lucky were free to go.

-----

Despite being medically cleared, Maverick decided to make the two sit out of training for the day. So the newfound besties chilled in the rec room by the radio and listening to the others in the sky.

"So, just wondering, how is Fanboy in bed? I bet he's a kinky bastard. The nerdy ones always are." Coyote asked

Lucky laughed so hard she snorted.

"What! I want to know how he got you and kept you all these years!"

"Javy, darling, it's not just sex that keeps a lady around. You should know this." Lucky teased. "But between you and me? Mickey has the best dick I've ever had."

The two continued to goof around, and entertain themselves until the others returned to the ground.

Everyone took their seats, as Maverick and Cyclone went through the days failures to reach the parameters set for the mission. It was truly a grueling task, and they only had a few more weeks to train. Or so they thought.

"Based on intel from drones in the area, the hostiles will be done completing their bunker before we had expected. We ship out in a week, not five like we had hoped." Cyclone's words made everyone stop and look around the room. Only a week? They weren't even close to ready.

-----

As the days went by, the training got harder and harder. Coyote alongside Bob and Phoenix completed the course with only seconds to spare. Proving it could in fact be done. Lucky also completed the course, with her boys as her foxtrot team. They were all getting better, and the course didn't seem all that impossible anymore.

Finally it was two days before they were shipping out. Everyone gathered at the Hard Deck that night to throw themselves a little "going away" party. That way their actual last nights could be spent however they wished. There was a nervous excitement in the air. They were all wondering if they would be picked, and if they were, would they come back?

Lucky was once again kicking ass at pool, poor Hangman being the only one who still tried to challenge her.

"Jake, sweetie, maybe you should just stop trying to impress me. I'll kick your ass everytime." She said as she once again, defeated him.

Coyote leaned in to Fanboy "if you don't marry that girl, I will."

Payback overheard and acted offended. "Excuse you, I have called dibs on being Lucky's backup husband for years. Get in line Javy."

The two men laughed and Fanboy blushed a deep red. "I hate you both" he muttered as he left them there with a flip of the bird.

He walked up to Lucky and whispered in her ear "how about we take a walk on the beach for old times sake?"

She smiled warmly at him, and took his hand.

They didn't care about the others seeing them together anymore, let people talk. Let them wonder if the rumors have been true all these years.

As they walked out into the fresh air, Lucky took off her shoes and handed them over to Mickey. Their bare feet sunk into the still warm sand, as they walked down to the waters edge. The waves lapping up at their ankles like a gentle lullaby.

Once they settled into their spot, Fanboy pulled her into a passionate kiss. One that told Lucky all she needed to know - that he loved her and that he was scared.

"Hey nerd, talk to me." She said once they pulled away, framing his face in her hands.

He kisses her hand. "I just have a bad feeling about this mission. Baylie, I'm scared that someone might not come home." The use of her first name said so much more than words ever could.

"Mickey, it's okay to be scared. Hell we all are, we just have to remember we were called back because we are the best of the best. We have completed the course, and we know the plans inside and out."

"I can't lose you." He whispered.

"Babe I.."

"Marry me." He blurted out.

"What?"

-----

"Bay stop teasing us with these cliffhangers!' I hear you screaming. And no I shall not stop teasing. We are inching closer and closer to the mission. Hope your asses are readyyyyy.

#top gun #top gun maverick #mickey garcia #mickey fanboy garcia x oc #mickey fanboy garcia #robert bob floyd #bradley rooster bradshaw #jake hangman seresin #natasha phoenix trace #lucky x fanboy #baylie lucky steele #callsign lucky #top gun movie #top gun fanfiction #fanboy

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